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That Destiel response

I know this is very delayed (work has been killer the last two weeks tbh) but I finally was able to get this done and wanted to throw it out into the void before the anniversary and con happening tomorrow:

So after that shitshow at DenCon 2021 (this is not hating on JP, it's stating facts: JP's rant was a shitshow for LGBTQIA+; was it unintentional? most likely, was it still hurtful for the community? yes = shitshow), I've finally been able to parse my thoughts and feelings about it all and have some thoughts on the topic of Destiel based on that response. And just a warning, this got really long.

For those of us that shipped Destiel before this event, I would just like to say this:

Regardless of how the actors may see the confession scene (and this includes Jensen), it does not take away from how we see the story (or the confirmation that Cas' confession was romantic and written/acted with romantic intent). This doesn't take away from how we view it, just as the romantic confirmation doesn't take away from how others view the scene as only platonic or brotherly. (though tbf, objectively, that assessment is incorrect because like I said above, we know what the intent was for that scene for Cas) For example, I'm a Fuffy shipper at heart. I know how Buffy's story went and how it ended. I know how it's been continued on in the comics. That doesn't take away from my reading of the very obvious subtext between Buffy and Faith during that show, no matter what Whedon or the actresses or show said. I know subtext when I see it.

So nothing that Jared or Jensen say can take away from how you read that scene. Especially Jared who had nothing to do with the scene, had no involvement in how it was shot/acted/written/blocked, or was even on set that day. What he's stating in his very problematic reply (yes, I am talking about the rant he went on that absolutely smacked of homophobia/acephobia no matter how unintentional it might have been) is purely his opinion. It's not Misha's or Berens' or even Jensen's. So in light of that, I want to focus purely on Jensen's words in his reply during this panel.

A lot of us see it as being his typical neutral answer that we all expected (which is totally fine) but I think a lot of it got lost in translation due to Jared's interrupting answer.

Question: "So um, actually, um, I'm a mom and a couple of my kids are--identify as queer and I always appreciated how, like, organically you just introduce like gay characters and things, and um, sorry I'm shaking I'm so nervous. Um, and so my question is with Castiel, when did you know that the way he loved Dean was a romantic, like deep love? Like, when in the series did you know? Because we always kind of debate over 'see, this is when they're kind of dropping hints.'"

Excellent question by this amazing mom. She's obviously asking when Jensen knew that Cas' love for Dean was indeed romantic in the story. And what she meant by the debate over the hints was about Cas and when it was decided that Cas was definitely in love with Dean, NOT about Dean himself.

Jensen: "Well, I don't think Dean ever really knew until the end there. Um, uh, in fact I know he didn't because I never played that. I would say when Jensen found out or it was kind of discussed internally that it's--it...it's interesting because the--the--I think romantic--" (why does Dean come into this? she was asking when Jensen himself knew...)

*Jared interrupts with "I think the point is--"* (because he sees this is going into a place that Jensen appears to be uncomfortable going into just based off of the beginning of his answer alone)

Jensen: "I think the term romantic is being used because there isn't necessarily a term that--"

*Jared interrupts again with "He's junkless, you know?"* (ah, the purposely distracting/garnering for laughs answer)

Jensen: "Yeah. I don't think-I don't think lust is involved with the romanticism--"

*Jared interrupts again and just takes over* (again, trying to obviously distract/misdirect away from Jensen because he views it as saving Jensen from having to answer while also making his point)

So, I kind of want to break down these words Jensen said above. Obviously, I'm not inside the man's head and have no complete knowledge of his intentions, especially since I didn't discuss it with him and I obviously don't know him at all personally but I'm going to focus on the words themselves of this first part:

"Well, I don't think Dean ever really knew until the end there. Um, uh, in fact I know he didn't because I never played that." -- this is absolutely how I saw Dean in the story line so this makes 100% sense to me. Dean had no idea that Cas felt that way about him at all until Cas says it (AND Jensen's own words confirm yes, peeps, Cas' ILY was definitely romantic, IT'S RIGHT THERE!). That, to me, is absolute fact and has now been officially confirmed by Jensen who states he didn't play Dean as knowing about Cas' feelings until that moment in 15x18. It's not that Dean didn't know that he and Cas had a profound bond, that other characters didn't hint at it to him (i.e. Sam, Balthazar, Ishim, etc.), that he wasn't aware that Cas had this odd fascination with him, but he never ever knew that Cas' feelings were indeed anything more than brotherly, platonic, and familial. And looking at Dean's character (without Jensen's confirmation of how he played it), this makes absolute sense. Dean always thought he was damaged goods, that he was nothing more than a soldier and that he would die a gruesome death at a young age, that he didn't deserve happiness, love, and a family, or even some semblance of a normal life. It's only in the last few seasons that we see his perception of himself start to change as well as his perceived (and expected) ending. It's Cas' words in 15x18 that finally get through to Dean about himself as well as his anger (not Amara, not Sam, not anyone else) and we see this come to fruition in 15x19 (and dare I say it, 15x20). Dean never thought anyone would love him or that he was deserving of that love. (look at how he couldn't settle into his life with Lisa and Ben in the beginning of season 6 regardless of the hunting itch and Sam, look at how the writer and director talked about how Jensen played Dean in the 'federal investigation' moment in season 8 with Aaron with 'somebody likes me' as if it's such a shock and not because it's coming from another man) Dean never felt he would be good enough for anything more than a roll in the hay (which is what he mostly has in the series minus his pre-existing relationship with Cassie, his relationship with Lisa, and of course the unwanted connection with Amara). So, Dean not knowing (and Jensen playing it that way) absolutely makes sense.

Now, notice how when he says this, he is not speaking about how Dean felt, up to that point or during that point or even after it. He's simply answering the question to the best of his ability with his interrupting buddy in close proximity and with (as most of us assume) studio/network constraints to keep the ending to be perceived as an open ending. He is not supposed to answer one way or the other and he knows that. That's why he's not speaking on how Dean feels, regardless of whichever way it was (or because he's simply not comfortable speaking publicly on how Dean felt).

"I would say when Jensen found out or it was kind of discussed internally that it's--it...it's interesting because the--the--I think romantic-- I think the term romantic is being used because there isn't necessarily a term that--" -- He is stating point blank that he didn't know Cas had romantic feelings for Dean officially until he found out himself internally (and it's interesting that he's attempting to backtrack away from Cas' ILY being romantic even though his words above/seconds before literally just confirmed it as being romantic). And even though he played Dean as not knowing until the confession itself happens, he obviously knew about it beforehand as himself bts. Let's remember, Misha himself has stated before that the confession scene would not have happened had Jensen not been on board with it (again, why did Jensen need to be on board with it if it was only platonic or brotherly on Cas' end?). Even before this question in this panel, Jensen praises Misha's acting in that scene. After the confession scene aired back on November 5th, 2020, Jensen was proud of that scene, how it was Misha's goodbye to Cas, and how it came together (the hand print specifically in this interview):

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Jensen also mentioned he had a crew member record the scene as they shot it, on his cell phone, so he could remember the experience as Jensen. Regardless of how he personally interprets what Dean's response would have been, what kind of love Cas had, this scene was very important to him, whether that be because it was his last scene with Misha, it being Misha's goodbye to Cas, an important scene for Dean as a character (it was), or all of it in combination. He absolutely cared about that scene and in no way is he out to sabotage someone's reading of it, however they choose to see it (and this includes Misha's "homosexual declaration of love" btw). Had Jared not been present at this panel, I do believe Jensen would have absolutely been able to answer this woman's question clearer while also operating within the constraints they all have been given (again, that a lot of us assume they have).

"Yeah. I don't think-I don't think lust is involved with the romanticism--" -- this is Jensen purely trying to undo what Jared just said about Cas being junkless (he's remembers this mom's words all too well when stating the question most likely). That idiotic comment Jared (it was idiotic, sorry not sorry) made has nothing to do with the question that was asked or the answer that Jensen was trying to give. Instead, Jared thought it would be hilarious and it would earn him a few laughs while he helps out his "good buddy" who is obviously attempting to give a thought out answer within the constraints they've been given (again, assumed), while Jared is determined to tow the company line (because let's face it, the same network has his current show on it). I think this line Jensen says is very important and actually not only shows that he absolutely understands the impact that scene had for people (not just for Dean's character or Cas', plus didn't he say he and Misha sent each other fan reaction videos to the scene at some point?) but also that he is very aware of the distinct difference between love and sex (as hopefully any person would be) and how the "romance" of the moment is not about someone being "junkless", whether he has been educated on the difference between romantic orientations and sexual orientations or not, and that they don't always go hand in hand. He's also purposely choosing the word "romanticism" here which if you look up the definition also means "the state or quality of being romantic" as we all know. He knows exactly how this scene was written and acted out, not just because he was involved with it and was there when it was filmed but also because obviously he was told the intent of it when it was discussed with him. He knows exactly what Cas' "I love you" meant from Cas' story line, from his perspective. He just isn't willing to confirm it (for whatever the reason). And I'm willing to bet that this is exactly why Jared jumps in here and completely takes over. Not because he understands the difference between romantic and sexual orientations (as is evidenced by his rant), not because he understands what the word "romanticism" means obviously, but because he was determined to be the one to answer and then he heard the beginning of that word when Jensen said it, went 'oh shit', and then we got the inevitable word vomit that turned into a very toxic and harmful homophobic (and acephobic) rant (no matter how unintentional it might have been on his part).

Then of course, after Jared's rant (which Jensen looked like he wanted to speak up at least twice during but refrained when it was obvious Jared was just going to keep going, which speaking from a professional perspective though Jensen and I have different careers, it didn't surprise me that he didn't; when someone is all geared up and is going to keep going, keep interrupting, keep ranting about a topic, sometimes the best thing to do is to literally wait them out, let them finish getting whatever it is off of their chest, and then speak your piece because when someone is that geared up, it will only get worse if you keep trying to interrupt or speak or get your point across, and before you know it, it's an argument that you're definitely not winning, so it's usually best to wait them out - I'm not excusing anyone here, I'm just explaining that from a professional perspective, I get why he didn't jump in during the rant), we get the rest of Jensen's reply which immediately tries to clarify whatever the fuck that reply of Jared's was but also starts backtracking from the open interpretation line slightly while also slightly reaffirming what Jared just said (which is where the problem comes in from where Jensen is involved):

"I think the, I'll just piggyback on what he said... The love that Cas had is...is heavenly. It was, you know, he's an angel. He's able to--he's able to, I think, love on a level and on a plane that human emotion doesn't necessarily comprehend. Um, and I think we might default to making it a romantic or a sexual love when I think that, the way that I kind of interpreted it, and this is the great thing about the show and I think some of these relationships and characters is that they're open for interpretation. If you find identity in a character because of--because of whatever reason, fantastic. Great. If that encourages you to be a better person or to love someone a little harder or to forgive someone for something then fantastic. That's-- I think, that's one of the beautiful things about doing what we do is we get to encourage people on a variety of levels. And I think Cas' love was a love that isn't identified by humans necessarily. It was the love that--that superseded that. And so we tried to find words to describe that and I just don't think they're our words."

So I'm going to break this down, too, piece by piece:

"I think the, I'll just piggyback on what he said... The love that Cas had is...is heavenly. It was, you know, he's an angel. He's able to--he's able to, I think, love on a level and on a plane that human emotion doesn't necessarily comprehend." -- once again, he is stating exactly what he said back when the confession scene happened in 2020. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this part of the reply because that's a very vague and diplomatic answer without confirming one way or the other how Dean felt about Cas' "I love you". But what does start to lean towards problematic is that instead of speaking once again on what the question actually was, which was when Jensen knew that Cas' feelings were romantic in the story line (which again has been confirmed by Misha, the other actor in that scene as well as him confirming that Berens' intent when writing the ILY was romantic on Cas' part), there seems to be a focus on Cas suddenly (due to Jared's rant that Jensen appears to be now grabbing like a lifeline) and how he feels and what his love actually means. Again, this is nothing we haven't heard before from Jensen when he's been asked about the confession scene and Dean's lack of reply one way or the other. It's actually a good way to answer it because like we've all said before, it keeps it open. He's not shutting the door on it and saying "yeah, no, Cas didn't love Dean like that, he's junkless, you know?" But it's when the focus shifts from Jensen (notice how Jared's rant purposely shifted all focus from Jensen btw, people like to say Jared has no idea what he's doing when he word vomits like that or that it wasn't intentional, maybe his homophobic and acephobic remarks weren't, but his intention to get the focus off of Jensen and tow the company line was; the guy is wicked smart, I'll give him that) to Cas that we start to see the problem in Jensen's remaining reply.

"Um, and I think we might default to making it a romantic or a sexual love when I think that, the way that I kind of interpreted it, and this is the great thing about the show and I think some of these relationships and characters is that they're open for interpretation. If you find identity in a character because of--because of whatever reason, fantastic. Great. If that encourages you to be a better person or to love someone a little harder or to forgive someone for something then fantastic. That's-- I think, that's one of the beautiful things about doing what we do is we get to encourage people on a variety of levels." -- this is the very problematic part of Jensen's reply. Not what he says about how great it is that everyone can have a different read on a scene or characters, etc, or how if it can affect your life in a positive way -- that's great. That's just more of the same line he's been giving since 15x18 aired. I also think (though tbf I don't know the man) he genuinely feels this way: "That's-- I think, that's one of the beautiful things about doing what we do is we get to encourage people on a variety of levels." For any character he plays, any story he is a part of. He's a natural born storyteller. That's literally who he is. But it's this part of his reply that's the issue: "I think we might default to making it a romantic or a sexual love". Here is where he started to flounder and basically without really meaning to (I think?) kind of reaffirmed what Jared said (about the confession not being romantic or sexual in nature) but also once again showing that he is very well aware of the difference between love and sex, and how different groups of viewers didn't necessarily see Cas' ILY as saying 'I want to bone you, Dean, but sadly I just don't have the time due to that big black goo coming out of the wall behind you'. By saying "I think we might default to making it" - well, that unfortunately is saying without explicitly saying that the interpretation/reading of the confession as "a romantic or a sexual love" is wrong. It's just a default setting so to speak.

But then he does manage to come back around with "And I think Cas' love was a love that isn't identified by humans necessarily. It was the love that--that superseded that." -- He circles back to the whole Cas' love is heavenly, his love is a different type of love that humans may not understand, etc. Nothing wrong with that. Tbf to him, I completely understand what he's saying here and I do tend to agree. It doesn't mean it's not romantic or a "homosexual declaration of love", but yes, I think Cas loved Dean unconditionally as he proved time and time again throughout the series up until his end. We've all talked about how this angel who had seen millennia meets this one human who not only changes his view on his own existence as well as humanity's but also becomes someone he cares very deeply for (even before that's made explicitly clear in season 15). Hence the wording for Cas in the confession scene: "I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean." So when Jensen says the love superseded the human idea of romantic or sexual love, he's not completely wrong. "Still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester." That doesn't mean that Cas didn't have those feelings for Dean or have a romantic love for him or sexual attraction for him (he was once human for a bit there after all, and he also took on more humanistic traits as Cas' character evolved over time and developed further), but he loved Dean beyond those things. The power of it simply would blow away say if it had been a human man to say that to Dean. His love was unconditional (see episode 10x22 for reference for example), which as much as we as humans try to achieve that type of love, for ourselves and others, we're all still human. It doesn't take away from the love we have and give every single day but I think what Jensen is trying to get at here with this idea is that when a human loves another human, it's to the 100th degree, right? But when an angel loves a human in this fictional universe, it's to the nth degree. So he's not saying it's not romantic in nature, he's (purposefully) dancing around it and once again not committing to a particular intent or reading (again, due to possible constraints) while also trying to give some semblance of an answer. (which, again, was not the question but thanks to Jared, the focus was shifted off of the intent of said question; tho tbf Jensen had already started to go off topic before Jared spoke, Jared just took it all the way home)

But then, unfortunately, Jensen undoes some of the progress he just made away from the whole "default" line with this one: "And so we tried to find words to describe that and I just don't think they're our words." -- not terrible of course, at all, but by saying "I just don't think they're our words" it once again implies that it's not romantic in nature. Which steers away from the vague line of angelic love he had just been giving a moment earlier. The line starts out strong by saying "And so we tried to find words to describe that" but then tanks with "and I just don't think they're our words." And here's the thing, if it's his opinion, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Jared's opinion minus the unintentional homophobic/acephobic rant (which he was not asked for, just a reminder) is fine. It's what making these types of statements enable and give ammunition to that's the problem.

Sure enough, once this panel took place and that answer happened, more hatred, invalidation, and bullying (and other toxic behaviors) occurred. On this site and others. For those who saw the confession as romantic, for those who looked for validation in the scene and/or the actors' statements on said scene, for those who were upset by the actual homophobic/acephobic statements Jared made rather than about the ship. All of it occurred. Again. (which they've been dealing with for a year now, literally, and some for years before that) And that's what these statements when they're not prepared or well thought out (meaning on the spot, I for one think Jensen and Jared usually give very well thought out answers considering), when they get hijacked by someone thinking they're doing their buddy a solid by getting him out of an alleged tough spot, when the actors are most likely barred censored from speaking about the subject which then in turn makes them do an impossible form of legal limbo to try to answer fans' questions while trying not to get into trouble...that's when this particular section of people/fans/stans are able to operate and do their worst onto others. (and we all know very well which group I'm referring to in this fandom: two words that rhyme with Mared Shtans) Because they feel emboldened, empowered, and enabled to do so based on these types of answers given by the actors. And the actual harm Jared's rant did for the LGBTQIA+ community aside for a second, these words however unintentional or misguided or scrambling for a quick response they were, they essentially become weapons for a certain group (*cough* Jared Stans *cough cough*) and they were and are being gleefully and mercilessly used on others.

So, I get why so many were angry at Jensen and still are. I personally was disappointed for a while because though I understand the man is human and none of us know him personally, only the public persona he chooses to show us, I had hoped for better. Believing that he's an ally along with Danneel, I had hoped he would recognize the words coming out of Jared's mouth for what they were in the moment and while I didn't expect or hope that he would then immediately throw all caution to the wind and confirm Cas' ILY was romantic (to try to tamper some of the impact Jared's words would have on the community if nothing else) and Dean absolutely loves Cas back or tell Jared to kindly and politely f**k off, I had hoped he would at least not reaffirm what Jared had said. If only to spare the LGBTQIA+ community what we all knew would surely follow that panel. And sure enough, it did. So, when he unfortunately ended up reaffirming that word vomit in a way, I admit I was disappointed. Because based on the public persona he has shown us over the years, he appears to be a kind and good man who is enormously talented, exceptionally bright, wildly funny, beautifully compassionate, endlessly creative, a consummate professional, is a truly committed family man, and overall seems to have a good heart. So when he clapped softly after Jared said those horrific things and then the second part of his reply came, reaffirming some parts of the rant, my heart sank. Massive disappointment was I think a better way to describe how I felt. But ultimately, I realize he's a guy who is human, who gets thrown up in front of an audience with these panels and is expected to give Ted Talk type answers on the fly, got his explanation hijacked and turned into something just beyond words or understanding of just wtf that was, and had to think quickly on his feet while also dealing with possible constraints they may have to work around. And while it is disappointing and I'm not excusing it, I also understand the circumstances. Plus, as much as I respect the man, his words aren't the end all be all for me, not on this topic or any other. Would it be nice if Jared decides to go off in a future panel about a scene that has nothing to do with him and then turns it into an unintentional bite size homophobic/acephobic rant for Jensen to either cut him off and change the subject, or not reaffirm it at the very least, or basically just do better? Sure. But I'm not hanging my hat on it, one way or the other. I just always hope for the best where he's concerned and continue to be optimistic. I still respect him, I still enjoy his work and hearing his thoughts on said work (and just life, really, he just genuinely seems like a very cool individual), and I continue to wish the best for him. Jared...it's going to take me a bit longer for that one. I genuinely don't think he meant his words to be harmful. I really believe he thought he was helping to set down a line about romance in general on the show, was helping out his good buddy who was reeking of absolute discomfort, and just jumped in like Superman to try and save the day. I don't think he's anti-LGBTQIA+ like I've seen said on here; I think he just didn't do exactly that: think. But still, I think I need more time to process all of my thoughts on that particular part of the shitshow this was.

But back to Destiel. My whole very long point in this is that I get why people are tired of the whole "open to interpretation" answer when it comes to a canon event. (because remember, kids, canon is something that is an official part of the story and no matter what the haters/invalidaters try to tell you, if it happened on your television screen, it's canon; the confession scene is part of the official SPN story) A lot of people have said that they're just done with a queer love story being "open to interpretation" while a hetero love story no one questions what it is, and they're 100% right. This is very tiring indeed and it's not right. It's 2021 and this shit is still happening. I think that's why Jared's words (as well as the panel audience's reactions to them) sat with me for so long and it bothered me so much. Because we're still here. And had a female character said ILY to Dean instead of Cas (regardless of him being a non-binary angel in a male presenting body, just thought I'd mention that for a second), no one would question it. Even people who may not necessarily like the ship or the fact that this woman just told Dean she loves him. Even people who may have a different ship for Dean that they prefer (or for the female character). No one would question its intent. It would never be "open for interpretation". And yet, here we are. The only thing I can say on this is that when it comes to SPN, I've learned after this whole year to manage my expectations when it comes to that. I think moving forward, depending on how any future SPN-related projects go (like Jensen keeps talking about down the line), and depending on how rigid these alleged constraints still are when it does happen, I don't expect we'll get anything more than the "open to interpretation" line when it comes to Jensen, "the show isn't about that" when it comes to Jared, and Misha still out there with the steel chair of confirmation to knock the haters and toxic homophobes back like he's been basically doing for the last year. I hope for the best but I also expect less if that makes sense. And as many of you have said, at least we have Misha and he is one half of that scene, he is the actor who purposely performed that scene with a certain intent, he fought for that scene, he worked with the writer of that scene, and he appears to be a compassionate individual who fully understands now just how important that scene is to a lot of people. And hopefully, just a smidgen of hope really, this W*B/C*W line will change when it comes to the future of the SPN universe.

As for the ship, regardless of what Jared said, regardless of some of what Jensen's reply turned out being, he still left it open enough for us to see that he's not outright saying "Destiel doesn't exist" like he did once upon a time. As we all have discussed, his outlook on the ship appears to have changed a lot over the years. He may not be coming out and saying "I was wrong, Destiel does exist and it happened on screen on November 5, 2020, mark your calendars hellers, we're doing this" but he's also not saying "hey, it never happened and y'all are crazy, two dudes wanting to fuck each other? i'm out." He has not changed his position since the confession scene happened, if anything I think he maybe talks a little less about it now than he did when it first aired? He still is very much down the middle and wanting people to read it how they want to. Like he said, it's like when someone looks at a painting, he doesn't want to tell them how they should see it. (which funnily enough, I think iirc Misha said something similar to this in his panel with Alex at DenCon - minefield of constraints, anyone?) And as we know, television is a form of visual media aka visual art. So while people might look at this reply of Jensen's as damaging to Destiel or as confirmation that the ILY is not romantic, I'm looking at it from the other end where it absolutely is implying but without saying it outright that yes, the ILY absolutely can be read as romantic (which it is because we know that was the intent in the script and in the performance for the scene) and is not at all damaging to Destiel in any way, shape, or form. The people who see the confession as romantic are not crazy. Those who go out of their way to tell you that it didn't happen and you're crazy if you see the ILY as anything other than brotherly or platonic are.

It's been there all along:

And once again, even though Jensen said he didn't play Dean as knowing how Cas felt about him until Cas actually says it, he also didn't say how Dean felt. And let's not forget (aside from Jacting Joices), the show very purposely did not have Dean answer back, one way or the other. They very purposely had time constraints in that scene to where Dean couldn't fully process everything he was being told, with the ILY at the end of it. They very purposely used the line "can't reciprocate" for Dean in the script, not "doesn't" or "won't".

And while I can be a bi-Dean truther by trade (sometimes), and I hate to give this next idiot any credit (Adam Williams has briefly entered the chat everybody), I do believe Adam was right but only to a point. Like Jensen said, Cas' love superseded everything because not only was it "heavenly" but it was unconditional. Now if we look at Dean's end of it, he may not be sexually attracted to Cas (though I tend to side eye that, 8x07 clean up scene anyone?) but he definitely loves him. You can't give me Jackles and this:

This:

And this:

And expect me not to side eye you with a smattering of disbelief when you try to tell me that this is all brotherly love.

They had him ignore Sam because he was so devastated after that confession. Sam! When people were disappearing. They didn't have to have Sam calling in that moment. They could have not had Dean crying in that scene but only being in shock. They could have not had the fakeout call with Lucifer (who apparently suddenly needed an open door for access to the bunker? what? was he demoted in The Empty?). They could have told Jensen to take it easy on his knees and slowly ascend the stairs or they could have chosen not to show it at all. But they did. All along, Dean's feelings have been there:

And until Jensen says "Dean absolutely does not have those types of feelings for Cas, I know he didn't because I never played it that way" (which I will then be sending him my huge Jacting Joices file along with my Destiel dissertation that I've been working on for the past year that will be for his eyes only with a post-it note on top in black magic marker asking "WHAT'S ALL THIS THEN?"), I will forever yell from the rooftops, mountain summits, and any other tall peak really that Dean absolutely loved Cas back.

So hang in there, peeps. No matter what this new con brings us. Know that Destiel is canon (again, the confession scene happened, it is an official part of the story, even Jared can't magic Walker 'y'all' smile his way out of that one...yeah, I'm still processing and part of my process is sarcasm, deal with it) and it was written (and acted, and even filmed - see the empty chair next to Alt!Charlie, see the empty car of Eileen's, see the dropped eggs from Stevie, see the dropped phone from Eileen, see the massive truth bomb drop from Cas before he hits Dean with the ILY, see the empty chair from in front of Dean in the dungeon, see Cas disappearing in front of Dean's eyes vs Alt!Charlie not seeing Stevie or Sam not seeing Eileen when they disappear) with romantic intent. No matter what is said, they chose to film this portion of the story and air it so it appeared on all of our television screens. They chose to let it become part of the official SPN story. We're not crazy and Destiel absolutely exists.

Stay positive, gang. <3

#destiel #deancas #dean x cas #spn #destiel meta #kind of?#denver con 2021 #spnposts #spn denver con 2021 #jared critical #jensen critical

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