dean: so what's up man, buddy, pal.
cas: [sigh] dean, not a minute ago i had my member inside your—*gunshots*
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Y/N: Can I have more some candy, De?
Dean: What did Sam say?
Y/N: He said no
Dean: Then why would I say yes?
Y/N: Cause he’s not the boss of you
Dean: *internally* It’s a trap, it’s a trap, it’s a-
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Drunk!Y/N: Hey, I-I just want you to know that I think I have like a big crush on you
Dean:
Dean: Sweetheart, we’ve been married for three years
Drunk!Y/N:
Drunk!Y/N: So, does that mean you like me back, or-
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Castiel - Y/n has a delicious chapstick
Dean - Wait, did you two kiss?
Y/n - No, this dumbass decided to eat my chapstick
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Cas: perhaps they're homophobic
Dean: but we're not gay, cas
Cas: we're not?
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dean, talking on the phone: alright man, i'll see you soon, yeah?
dean's coworker: oh who was that?
dean: my buddy cas, we've been married for seven years today
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Dean: Are you a virgin?
Y/N: Why, are you planning a sacrifice?
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Dean: Hey, do you know how to play the trumpet?
Y/N: No, why?
Dean: *shrugging* Sam’s been getting on my nerves lately so I felt like the best way to return the favor would be to learn how to play
Y/N: Technically, you don’t need to know how to play to annoy him
Dean:
Dean: You’ve just opened my eyes
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Sam: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
Y/N: AS ENEMIES?!
Sam: …
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Y/N: Lucifer won’t come out of his room!
Gabriel: Just tell him I said something.
Y/N: Like what?
Gabriel: Anything factually incorrect.
Y/N, shrugging: If you say so.
Lucifer, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?
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Y/n - Dean annoyed me today so I told him that I can't wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.
Sam - But there is nothing special tomorrow.
Y/n - But there is something special about watching the colour leave his face as panic takes over.
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