Jealousy PT 1 - Dual POV Saedii/Tyler
Tyler
Saedii’s draped over me, her breathing has slowed, and now her eyes are shut.
“You should stay this time,” I mumble into her sweat-soaked hair, “Y’know, for the economy.” She looks up at me with a confused expression on her face.
“The economy? How would that help the economy?”
“Me. I’m the economy.”
She rolls her eyes and lies her head back on my chest, and I watch for a while, before my eyelids become too heavy, and I fall into some much-needed sleep.
However many hours later, my alarm goes off. Saedii basically punches my palm-pad to silence it. Afterward, I think she’s going to lay back down, but instead, she sits up, glancing around my room. I wonder what she’s looking for until she hops out of bed and collects her clothes from wherever I’d thrown them last night.
“What are you doing,” I finally ask.
“What does it look like I’m doing, Tyler Jones?” She responds while putting her clothes back on.
“Leaving,” I reply, frowning. She turns to look at me, and I put on my best pouty-face.
“That face won’t work on me, Tyler Jones,” she says, barely hiding the smirk on her lips.
“But I’m your be’shmai!” I know I’m losing this battle, she’s already got her hair back to looking immaculate, and now she’s messing around with the makeup residual on her face, but, if anything, I love messing with Saedii Gilwraeth.
“You,” she starts, waggling her finger at me, “are not my be’shmai.”
I begin to say something along the lines of, “That’s what you think,” but I stop myself. Why not go to the extreme? “Then you’re not mine, Saedii Gilwraeth.”
I watch her face for any reaction to what I’ve said, but her demeanor is stone-cold, as always.
She finally responds, “Naturally.”
“In that case, you won’t mind if I take someone not you to Bar Night tonight.”
Bar Night was something Scar had deemed necessary after all we’ve done, but knowing her, she just wants an excuse to be drunk and stupid with Finian. I originally hadn’t planned to go, but now, I have a reason.
“I thought you weren’t intending to go,” she counters futilely.
“I have reason to now.”
She knows that I’ve won; if she doesn’t let me go, she shows that she cares, and if she does let me go, I go.
Tyler Jones 3
Saedii Gilwraeth 2
“Then I suppose I do too, Tyler Jones. I will see you tonight.” And with that, she strides out of my quarters. This’ll be fun.
Saedii
I sit in a conference room, although what I’m going through seems more like an intervention. Kaliis rests opposite to me at the table, looking miserable. To his left sits Aurora, who is noisily talking with Finian next to her. They chatter about tonight, and apparently, word has passed about what Tyler and I spoke of this morning. Scarlett is pacing around the table, lazily joining the conversation when she sees fit, seemingly busy in thought. I wonder if Tyler will be joining us, and as though summoned by my thought, he glides through the door. He takes in the scene, going from Kaliis to his sister, to Aurora and Finian. Finally, his eyes land on me, and gives me a small nod.
“Ms. Gilwraeth,” he says, grinning impossibly wide.
I narrow my eyes and scowl, “Tyler Jones.”
He winks at me and sits equidistant between my brother and me.
“Ty,” Scarlett starts, “you’re going tonight?”
“Why the hells not?” he responds.
His sister glances wearily at me, but only shrugs, “The more the merrier, I guess.”
“I am also coming to Bar Night,” I blurt out. This statement turns some heads. Finian and Aurora pause their conversation to eye me, and Kaliis and Scarlett both look surprised, the latter more than the former. I simply stare back at them.
“Two more people,” Scarlett mutters, “Oh well.”
“Make that three,” says Tyler, “I’m taking Rachel Caldwell.”
Scarlett clearly recognizes the name, although it is not familiar to me. I’m just about to ask who she is when a smug voice winds its way into my mind.
Your move, Gilwraeth.
Tyler
Was it a bit underhanded to ask the girl who’s had a massive crush on me since we met to be my date tonight? Yeah, obviously. But from what I understand, dirty is the only way Saedii plays. I can’t wait to see what she has up her sleeve. Or maybe hidden in her hair.
Scar has dressed me up in what she calls a lady-killer outfit. I’ve got a cream-colored collared shirt with the top three buttons undone, naturally, as she put it, and a pair of black fitted pants. Very fitted. They do not leave much up to the imagination. I've planned to pick Rachel up and meet everyone at the bar. She’s wearing a blue sequiny dress that blindingly contrasts my expertly-chosen outfit. It’s low cut and rides pretty high up her legs, which seem incredibly long in her matching blue platform heels. She’s not very tall, and I am, so the top of her head only barely reaches my chin. She’s dressed to impress, even without knowing about whatever is happening between Saedii and me. Now, we stride into the bar, my hand wrapped around her waist, and I immediately spot the others at a booth in the back. The place is relatively small, but the dance floor is packed, and the DJ is blaring some kind of techno remix. I begrudgingly drag Rachel through the crowd, although she doesn’t seem to mind. When we finally reach the group, Scar is berating Kal for his lack of “visual pizzazz,” and Auri and Fin are laughing their butts off at the whole ordeal. Saedii’s not here, though, and I wonder for a second if she had actually chickened out. Then I remember that it’s Saedii Gilwraeth and that that prospect is nearly unimaginable.
I slide into the booth next to Fin and Scar, and Rachel goes to get a drink. Almost immediately, Scar goes from screeching at Kal to screeching at me. Unfair. She tells me that I need to act closer to Rachel and dance with her. I tell her to shut her face. I haven’t seen Saedii yet, but I have a feeling she’s here, watching from a distance, searching for the perfect opportunity to strike. A hunter watching her prey. It’s not until I catch a glimpse of a black braid that I pay attention to the crowd. It’s all just a blur of wiggling bodies.
“Looking for someone?” A voice says from behind me.
“As a matter of fact-,” I start, turning around, expecting to see Saedii in some version of a vampire suit. Instead, I see her in a dress. Light blue, sequiny. Inconceivably tiny. Identical to the one Rachel’s wearing, though Saedii looks a thousand times better. I am so shocked that I don’t even notice that my jaw hanging open until Finian presses it shut. She smirks at me. Fuck.
It’s been about an hour of pretending not to look at Saedii. She’s also wearing the same shoes as Rachel, so she’s taller than me. She looks unimagineably perfect; her braids forming a cloak around her shoulders as she sips what I can only infer to be straight vodka. Right now, I am pressed against my date as we dance. I haven’t had anything to drink, but Rachel has. So when she starts pushing harder against me, I’m not surprised. I am, however, when she starts kissing my neck. I really don’t know what to do, so, idiotically, I look back to our table, four pairs of eyes looking very intently. I realize a second too late that they aren’t looking at me, and are, instead, watching as Saedii charges through the dance floor.
“Saed-,” I can just barely get her name out before she grasps my arm and shoves me into the nearest bathroom, locking the door.
“Saedii, I didn’t-,” I start, but I don’t know what to say. She’s leaning her head against the door, and it’s not until I see the slightest heave of her shoulders that I realize she is crying. Saedii Gilwraeth is crying. Over me, no less. All I can think to do is wrap my arms around her stomach. I press a kiss to the back of her neck and slowly turn her around. Her braids surround her face, but I can still see the tears falling down her cheeks. All I can do is hug her, rub her back, kiss her shoulder, because even years at the Academy, even winning a war millions of years in the making, couldn’t prepare me for having Saedii Gilwraeth silently crying in my arms.
“Saedii. Tell me what’s wrong,” I whisper into her ear. She doesn’t respond right away, but she does lift her head from my shoulder and look me in the eyes.
“If you wish to be with her, then you may, Tyler Jones,” she says, finally, “I should not have assumed you wanted more than sex.”
I am absolutely bewildered.
“Shit-, Saedii–fuck, I’m so sorry,” I say, cupping her face with my hands, “She doesn’t mean anything to me, you do. I shouldn’t have done any of this. I’m so sorry. Fuck. Saedii, I was trying to make you jealous, but that was childish and stupid and I’m sorry. Really. I don’t just want sex, I think you’re wonderful, and I want to talk to you and care for you and be near you always. You won’t ever have to be afraid of what your father or anyone would say, they don’t matter. Only you do.”
Saedii
I am nearly too stunned to speak. But I wouldn’t anyway. I crush my lips to his, his hands slide under my legs and I wrap them around his waist. I can still feel the dry tears caked on my face. I hadn’t cried in nearly a decade, but, I suppose, my Tyler could get whatever reaction he wanted out of me. He pulls away first and brings one hand up to my cheek. All I can do is close my eyes and let him press his forehead to mine. We stay like this for six minutes, until I finally find the words I’ve been looking for all my life.
I trust you.
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Jealousy Part 2
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thinking about syldrathi lifespans....
thinking about how zila went from the year 2380 to the year 2177 which is a 203 year gap.....
thinking about how syldrathi live longer than 200 years....
thinking about WHAT IF ZILA. What if Zila made friends with Syldrathi and they still remember her today.
we do a lot of time capsules but what about living, breathing people who remember Zila Madran's adult life. people who remember how hard she worked, how much she loved her wife, the way she sacrificed her life day after day for the possibility of a better world she would never live to see.
thinking about syldrathi - forever the record keepers for their long-ago friends.
thinking about maybe even a syldrathi who zila knows will see her again telling her "an'la téli saii" at the end of her life - and zila knows it's meant euphemistically but she will always see them again in the stars.
thinking about a syldrathi, time engraved upon their face, seeing the remnants of the squad - maybe on the news, maybe from a distance, but recognizing them from Zila's stories (because if she trusts anything to keep a secret, it's syldrathi pragmatism). do they say anything? how would the squad react?
oh my god what if zila told them about what the starslayer does. oh my god. the conflicting emotions knowing you need to watch your own world be sacrificed for the possibility - because zila never knew if her plan would work! - that the universe could continue.
oh my god.
thinking about syldrathi lifespans.
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