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#srk voice if she turns around it means she loves me
appsa · 3 years
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do u ever think about how girls keep begging harrow to turn around and look at her eurydice and she refused to every time
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It makes me sad that Dilwale wasn’t apparently very well liked when it first came out, because it is like...ridiculously fun and awesome? Like SO MUCH FUN!
it is a movie that knows EXACTLY WHAT IT IS, and that is glossy, fun,  romantic, and ridiculous
look Veer’s introduction is drifting a souped-up car around a statue of jesus, looking totally fuckboi-esque, and CROSSING HIMSELF IN SLOW MOTION
that pretty much sets the tone for most of the movie - pretty, extra, and absurd
now, caveat: I don’t speak Hindi, so it’s entirely possible that the dialogue is genuinely bad so I can’t tell. But the delivery sounds in earnest so it’s still fun
and beneath the fun and ridiculousness is a beating heart, with both Kaali+Veer’s parental sibling relationship and Kaali+Meera’s love story
Like…one of my favorite parts about the movie is how Kaali and Meera have this intense and painful backstory, but the new world and lives they’ve built for themselves are so bright and beautiful and colorful. So when they (inevitably) reconcile, you know that they are going to have a good life together.
Surrounded by idiots, yes, but I think they would like that!
Also I wish I could find a color theory post about this movie because they are gorgeous and there is this specific shade of dark blue that keeps showing up at dramatic moments.
*MOVIE SPOILERS, IF ANYBODY CARES*
Admittedly, whatever town they’re in (I think it’s somewhere in Goa) is insanely gorgeous and must have something in the water because nearly all of those residents are in possession of ONE BRAINCELL! Minus Kaali, who clearly drinks filtered water, as does Meera. They have kept their braincells. 
Shakti and Anwar, Kaali’s best friends, are touch and go – sometimes they have the brain cell, sometimes they don’t
SO KAALI AND MEERA’S BACKSTORY IS BATSHIT -- THEY WERE THE RIGHT HANDS OF THEIR MAFIA-ESQUE PARENTS BACK IN BULGARIA. 
They met because he hit her with his car! (because she was trying to take him out)
He falls in love at first sight. She plays civilian for a bit, lets him try to charm her, falls in love with him and takes a little time to figure it out (after realizing she can’t kill him and having to pass it off as a whim, rather than a symptom of *an emotion*)
They try to set up a marriage, her father sets up a meeting to kill them instead without telling his daughter, both fathers die, Meera is fed false information that they were betrayed and, as she promised Kaali not long after they got together, she shoots him in the heart for his betrayal.
But only once! If she reaaaallly wanted him dead, it would have been in the head! (my addition – not stated in the movie proper)
They then spend the next 15 years raising their much younger siblings (brother and sister respectively, of course) and turning respectable themselves. Kaali has established a garage for modifying fancy cars and we don’t know what Meera did before she moved to Goa, but now she is in the process of opening a restaurant. 
Kaali is even going by a new name: Raj
They do not want their baby siblings to know about their criminal pasts, so they very much do not tell their siblings about it.
But anyways, Veer and Ishita  are two sweet-natured, pretty kids who meet and take a liking to each other, and them liking each other enough to want to get married kicks off the ACTUAL ROMANTIC PLOT OF THE MOVIE, AKA KAALI AND MEERA AKA SRK AND KAJOL
They meet again because their much-younger siblings want to get married, and Meera, still under the impression that Kaali killed her father and betrayed her trust, IS NOT FOR IT
So baby siblings, using their one braincell, try to figure out what happened, because obviously their siblings must know each other, why else object to the marriage?
To get info, Veer bugs his brother’s two best friends, who were also in Bulgaria with Kaali at the time
the best friends were ordered by Kaali not to talk about his criminal past, but they are weak to Veer’s puppy eyes and they proceed to come up with this BATSHIT VERSION of Kaali and Meera’s past that is EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS than their actual past. Including fake names: Ramlal and Pogo.
Veer is Overwhelmed By Emotions
Kaali is Not Amused upon being confronted by this undignified backstory, but his friends defend themselves by pointing out that a) they can’t just outright lie and say they don’t know, because that would be even more improbable and b) it does remove the criminal element
They seem to be together? not totally clear but they act like a married couple so I’m down.
Their explanation when the boys come back to suspiciously ask why THEY never married is to say: We didn’t want to be fathers!
(reasonable, given that veer + sid together are clearly a handful)
So baby siblings, who have the details totally wrong but the basic gist what happened, decide that the easiest way to stay together is to get their older siblings to FALL BACK IN LOVE, obviously, because neither have remarried since their affair, so they must have unresolved feelings!
(this is not wrong, but still the leap ain’t logical)
cue wacky hijinks from the kids and intense, UST-laden scenes and songs between Meera and Kaali, who have enough chemistry to burn the town down
(They snarl at each other, choke each other in the ruins and are extremely conscious of each other’s personal space and are clearly two inches from falling into each other at any given moment IT’S SO GREAT)
AND THERE IS KING, THE WANNABE DRUG KINGPIN - seriously, like he is trying SO HARD to be the A-plot - flamboyant, scarily intimidating guy taking over this seaside town with one liners and pop culture references. BUT HE’S NOT. 
LIKE, HE’S JUST A NUISANCE TO THE OTHER CHARACTERS WITH THEIR INTENSE UST/TRYING TO UNRESOLVE TENSION SO THEY CAN GET MARRIED
I guess I get it if people don’t like the humor,  because the tone shifts can be pretty abrupt, but still, it’s a rollicking good time
And there are a few scenes it blatantly steals from other movies? only one I recognized was the Love Actually cards, and tbh I don’t really care - I didn’t get distracted or confused by references I didn’t get, so I’m fine by it
All right, there is also the DDLJ line at the very end, but it fits for me! because Kaali is playing off the fact that his ‘going straight’ name is Raj and he’ll always be her Raj, meaning that there isn’t anything he won’t do for her. I kinda liked it.
Things I actually didn’t like:
I wish Ishita had more character. She has some moments, but not nearly as much time is spent on her as there is on Veer
the dialogue bits that basically served as PSAs for drugs - we know they are bad! no need to keep saying it
Siddhu’s plot could have been better if jenny had a voice during his ‘it’s hard to date’ rant. cause like, dude, she didn’t ask you to spend money on her
Less didn’t like and more ‘I want more Kajol’ - it would have been nice to see a little more of how Meera went straight and what prompted her move down from Bangalore to Goa
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nadziejastar · 5 years
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Axel’s Moral Relativism
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“No apology?” He with the red hair—Axel stood up, his mouth turned down at the corners, and looked down at Roxas who still sat in bed.
“I shouldn’t have to. The one showing up all of a sudden when others are waking up is in the wrong.”
“Is that how to treat a best friend on coming back from completing a long mission!”
“I don’t recall becoming your best friend.”
Roxas got off the bed, and, ignoring Axel, turned his back and put on a black coat.
This is a passage from the short story called “Roxas: Somewhere in Time”. It was included with KH2FM+ and details a little bit of how Roxas and Axel got along together in the organization. Xion wasn’t included for obvious reasons. I got the sense that Nomura took Roxas in a slightly different direction to make him more like Ventus in Days.
Roxas was a little more cynical and introspective in this short story compared to Days. But one thing remained the same. From the very beginning, Roxas was never meant to feel as strongly about being “best friends” as Axel did in KH2. He felt like Axel was being a bit pushy about that label and given their circumstances, I’d say he was completely justified in feeling that way.
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Axel said ‘best friend’. But that’s only playing at being human; it’s a relationship that we, Nobodies without hearts, aren’t supposed to have. But, within the organization, I’ve become especially close to Axel—no, it’s a fact without mistake that we are closer than the other members, and I don’t really know how that relationship should be expressed.
And that was their relationship in a nutshell. They were especially close and had a very important relationship, but they still weren’t really best friends. I know I’ve talked about this before, but it ties into this subject. I’ve heard a lot of people say that they didn’t like 358/2 Days because of the constant “best friends” talk and because Axel seemed like a goody-two-shoes big brother, instead of the hardcore assassin he acted like in CoM. They couldn’t reconcile those two different portrayals.
Yes, “best friends” was mentioned over and over. Way more than with SRK or TAV. Compared to them, RAX didn’t even know each other for that long. It was supposed to feel forced. But, I don’t think that was a bad thing or that it lessened the importance of their bond. To the contrary, I actually thought their relationship was a lot MORE meaningful because they weren’t really Axel’s best friends. As an assassin, Axel had a very skewed sense of morality. And that’s what this post will be about.
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“What are you trying to do? Are you thinking to use Naminé as a shield? That little girl doesn’t mean anything to me. I’ll just destroy her along with you. Get ready, Marluxia!” fired Axel, readying his chakrams.
Peculiar or not, she’s got nothing to do with me, or the Organization… I don’t think. It’s fine to destroy things that are in the way.
I definitely think Axel was always willing to do the dirty work for Saïx because he thought of Isa as his best friend. He never really cared about the morality of what he was doing. All that mattered was that he was doing it for the sake of his best friend. 
Day 74: Xion's Face
Author: Axel
Honestly, I never got why Roxas was so crazy about Xion. I know they both joined up around the same time, and they're both rookies, but how do you get so close to somebody who hides their face all the time? Well, I saw it today. All of a sudden, No. XIV up and takes off...her hood. Xion is a girl, and she looks just like Naminé.
Roxas and Xion became his “best friends” because that changed when he met them. Especially after Castle Oblivion. Roxas was Sora’s Nobody and Xion looked just like Naminé. It made him question everything about the way he had been living.
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“Your best friend?” Roxas shook his head furiously and grabbed Axel’s cloak. “Best friends are supposed to be honest with each other!”
He’s angry, Axel thought clearly. It really does make it seem like he has a heart. But if that’s all I can think of when he’s this upset, I really must not have one.
It’s important to emphasize that although Axel’s relationship with Roxas was pretty one-sided in KH2, it was kind of the opposite in Days. Roxas liked the idea of being best friends with him and Xion. Their relationship didn’t fall apart because Roxas was indifferent to their friendship. Axel did a lot of things to alienate Roxas after telling him they were best friends. Roxas felt betrayed. Axel did what he thought was the best thing for everyone’s sake. But Roxas was unable to understand that because Axel had a much less idealistic outlook on life than he did.
Still gripping Axel’s collar, Roxas shook his head with the emphatic refusal of a little kid. “No, you didn’t…” But he sounded uncertain as he said it, and his voice shrank even more. “We’re supposed to be best friends.”
Axel brushed Roxas’s hands from his collar. “This isn’t about friendship.”
Roxas raised his head. The glare in his blue eyes was sharp as a knife. Axel had never seen that from him before. His chest twinged, just a bit. He let out another sigh. “Listen, if that’s all, I gotta go.”
Roxas wilted again, and something in his expression weakened Axel’s resolve slightly.
I did it with the best of intentions, that’s all. For Roxas’ sake, for Xion’s sake, for the Organization’s sake---and for Isa’s sake. But more than anything, for my own sake.
He turned away from Roxas and made himself walk away.
Axel’s innocence had already been shattered a long time ago. He was used to dealing with the darker side of life. Due to his traumatic past, he had an amazing ability to emotionally detach himself from any given situation. It was a form of self-preservation.
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After he left Roxas, Axel’s distracted wandering through the hallways came to a stop when he saw someone else.
He was probably waiting for me. Standing there against the wall with his arms folded was once my best friend—Saïx didn’t take his eyes off the ground to look at Axel.
“…You’re sure this is for the best?”
“Everything is back to normal. Of course this is for the best, isn’t it?”
The reason I’m unable to answer Saïx is probably because I depend on him, thought Axel.
“Xemnas has also been irritated at the recent changes in plan. Everything has to go back to normal, for the sake of our goal too… Lea.”
But from Roxas’s point of view, Axel seemed cold and heartless. He always said that Nobodies had no hearts and that they couldn’t feel things like fear or love. Naturally, Roxas thought he didn’t value their friendship as much as he did. And Axel did hide all of his true feelings, so I can’t blame Roxas for feeling that way. 
But while Axel pushed Roxas further away, he really wanted to do what was best for him. He wanted to spare Roxas the pain that he went through. And at the same time, he was dealing with his inner conflict over his relationship with Saïx. He had a hard time coping with the huge rift between how he remembered their past compared to what he saw in the present. He had nobody to confide in about this.
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“Come on, don’t look shocked,” Axel went on. “You already know you’re a replica. A puppet whose original purpose was to duplicate Roxas’s powers. If he’s getting weaker, and you’re getting stronger, maybe you’re taking a little more than you oughta be.”
He didn’t gloss over anything. Confronted with the plain truth, she looked away.
Right. I’m a puppet. Organization XIII built me. A doll to copy Roxas’s powers. But still…that’s not all I am. Axel doesn’t know the whole story. And maybe I don’t, either. What other secrets are hidden inside me?
“…What should I do, then?” she mumbled at the floor. She didn’t have the answer.
“I can’t make that decision. You’re no puppet in my book.” Axel took hold of her shoulders, and she turned up to him again. There was sincerity in his eyes and kindness. “You’re my best friend. Mine and Roxas’s. Got it memorized?”
Axel told Xion they were best friends, but at that point, he still thought it was better for her to not exist. He said they were best friends for her sake. And perhaps to assuage some of the guilt he felt over what he was planning to do, which she was oblivious to. Axel had no real advice for her. He didn’t expect her to exist for much longer and left it up to her to decide what to do. He felt bad about it, but he truly thought it was for the best that she disappear.
“Are you talking about destroying her?” Axel made no reply.
“Answer me!” he screamed, kicking the wall.
Axel still spoke quietly. “If somebody doesn’t, then you…won’t be you anymore.”
“I’ll always be me! Your best friend—just like Xion!”
But Axel shook his head. “Roxas—you’re missing the bigger picture.”
“Ugh, forget this.” Roxas kicked the wall again for good measure and started walking away. There was no point talking to Axel anymore. The Winner stick was still in his pocket. So much for giving it to Axel.
“Roxas!” He didn’t look back. He didn’t want to hear what anyone had to say anymore.
He kept all of this from Roxas. He knew he would never accept that his best friend needed to be destroyed for his own good. So he took the burden on himself to do it, knowingly destroying their friendship in the process.
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Roxas no longer knew what to say to either of them. Why had Axel attacked Xion like that? He’d been for real. Serious enough that he almost seemed about to take her down for good. The thought made Roxas nervous. Axel wasn’t saying anything to him, either.
At first Axel took a rather pragmatic approach to the situation with Xion. He wasn’t happy about it and it wasn’t an easy decision or anything. But he did attack her and bring her back, with the intention of her being destroyed. Even when he fought her, he was ready to take her out permanently if it came to that. He didn’t like it, but he was able to set aside his feelings and do what he thought he had to do. He only changed his mind at the very end.
I don’t have a single friend in this place. All these people on my side—and his and the organization’s… But I don’t know if I can say that we’re really on the same side. I’m alone here.
Nostalgia… And memory. We are the ones who lost their hearts—the ones who are no one. Nobodies. Not light nor darkness—we live in the twilight.
Axel stopped outside the crystal ball room and took a deep breath.
Why are we here? What are we doing? No—why am I here?
Axel’s actions definitely demonstrated that he viewed Isa as his best friend above anyone else. He questioned why he was still in the organization after he killed Vexen.
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It’s just like that back is rejecting me. And I’m realizing that my memories of the past are too different from the thoughts I’m having now.
Why the hell am I here? I don’t really know any more. What the hell do I want to do?
And he questioned it when Saïx said the organization didn’t need both Roxas and Xion. Saïx did not act like Axel’s friend, let alone his best friend. He was totally cold and often very cruel to to him. Axel felt rejected and alone when talking to Saïx. But he chose to stay in the organization. If he really wanted to, he could have left. But he never did.  
“The time has come for us to move, it seems—”
Axel frowned at Xemnas’ words.
What if—I’d stopped Roxas properly, that time? If I’d told Roxas the entire secret, would it have turned out like this? But, I couldn’t betray the organization.
No—to be honest, I’ve already betrayed the organization. In that castle, I was the one who let Riku and Naminé meet, which made a big mess for the organization.
But, I didn’t complete the betrayal. I’m still uncertain. From the time I met my best friend Roxas, from the time spent in Castle Oblivion, I’ve continued to struggle with doubts.
Why am I here? What do I want? How can I become whole again?
Even now, he wasn’t sure.
After Xion disappeared, Roxas was the only one who helped Axel feel less lonely in the organization. But when Roxas left, he was still conflicted. It’s not that he was afraid to go against the organization. He just didn’t know what he truly wanted to do in order to be whole.
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Today I have to destroy Roxas. I cannot betray the organization.
From the little shelf at his bedside, Axel took a white envelope, and looked at it vaguely for a while. Putting it in his pocket, Axel got up off the bed and left the room.
Maybe, this is the last time I’ll see Saïx, too. Thinking, Axel looked at the seated Saïx’s back.
“We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, haven’t we?” Ignoring Axel’s words, Saïx continued typing on the keyboard.
“Say something. Have you even thought that maybe I can’t erase Roxas?” Axel said, in a playful tone, and Saïx finally looked up. “It’ll be all right. ‘Cause I’m tough.”
“Saying stupid things,” said Saïx, smiling for just a second at Axel, puffing out his chest.
In the end, he decided he had to destroy Roxas. He joked about destroying Roxas. That’s how desperately he wanted to emotionally connect with Saïx, like when they were kids. I definitely could never see him joking about destroying Saïx to Roxas. 
“I’m goooing.” Waving to Saïx, Axel disappeared.
The instant he transferred over, he closed his eyes for a moment at the dazzling sunset streaming through. Then he turned around dramatically, and confirmed it was Roxas.
“Look at what it’s come to,” Axel said. “I’ve been given some pretty nasty orders…to destroy you if you refuse to come back with me.”
I don’t think Axel truly thought it was funny, but I do think that he has been through so much trauma that he felt emotionally disconnected from everything, and developed a dark sense of humor. Immediately after that exchange, he appeared in front of Roxas and told him he was given the icky orders to destroy him.
Can I destroy Roxas? Probably not. But I know what I can’t do. Xemnas and Saïx probably knew that as well. Maybe we can disappear together from here and go somewhere.
And Axel genuinely wasn’t sure if he would be able to do it or not. He didn’t want to do it, and ultimately wasn’t able to, but he still came pretty close. He only changed his mind at the last minute, like with Xion. He was playing around with the idea that they could disappear together, but he only brought it up jokingly. After that, he tried to go back to the organization.
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“No one would miss me,” I retorted, and started to walk away.
“That’s not true…,” Axel mumbled. “I would.” At the time, I pretended not to hear him. We Nobodies have no hearts. How would we be able to “miss” someone? But now, I understand how he felt.
Roxas flung Axel back with the Keyblades so that he fell to his knees. Roxas couldn’t bring himself to deal the final blow. 
“Axel…”
That’s right—we were the only pair of best friends in the organization.
I got the sense that Axel was so convinced he didn’t have a heart because of all the things he had done as a Nobody. He was truly disgusted with himself after fighting Roxas. He said that Roxas had a next life because he was a sweet, innocent kid. He looked surprised that Roxas responded seriously to his suggestion to meet again in the next life, especially after what he just did to him. Roxas still cared about him and had sympathy for him.
“Axel…” The hostility had vanished from Roxas’ eyes.
I can’t find the spirit to fight this Roxas anymore. Here–there’s nothing to do but to fade away.
“Let’s meet again in the next life.” At those words spoken with just a hint of a smile, Roxas nodded quietly.
“Yeah. I’ll be waiting.” There was something funny about Roxas’s serious answer, and Axel laughed.
“Silly… you’d have a next life, but…” Axel said to Roxas–and his figure disappeared in the darkness of a portal he’d opened behind him.
Axel was aware that he just tried to murder that pure-hearted kid who once called him his best friend. Of course Axel thought he had no heart or a next life. He didn’t stop fighting Roxas because they were best friends. He stopped because he realized that he wasn’t Lea anymore. He no longer recognized himself and he was deeply ashamed.
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“What were you trying to do?” Sora asked. For a moment, Axel didn’t reply. He kept staring into space as he did. 
“…I wanted to see Roxas. He…was the only one I liked. When I was with him…he made me feel…like I had a heart…” Axel closed his eyes.
Somehow, he had the feeling that Roxas was close. Terribly close. Right beside him.
“I feel it…with you, too…” Then Axel weakly shook his head and returned his attention to Sora. “Kairi’s in the castle dungeon. Now go.”
Roxas and Sora made Axel feel like he had a heart, not because they were his best friends, or because he was in love with them. It was because he tried to harm them and they still showed him forgiveness and compassion. 
“We don’t disappear… We’re only reborn,” Naminé murmured, perhaps to herself.
“I’m not like you and Roxas,” Axel said flatly. His hand holding the ice pop stick paused in midair.
“But—but you…” She looked down, clenching her fists.
“It’s because I don’t have a heart,” Axel went on. “I don’t want to disappear, but I’m not upset or sad about it.”
I think that played a huge role in why Axel put Roxas on such a pedestal in KH2. Roxas was the epitome of humanity to him. He wasn’t used to being around people who showed him empathy and friendship. Roxas genuinely cared about him in 358/2 Days. He was devastated when he thought Axel was terminated and would never see him again. And Axel repaid that kindness by trying to destroy him. Roxas treated Axel like a human worthy of friendship. He made him feel human, even when he felt like he didn’t deserve it.
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“I think we all know, and you just don’t want to accept it,” Saïx remarked, his voice dripping with disdain.
“He might be forcing her…,” Roxas mumbled.
Saïx only snorted at him. “Hah! Your human-like way of thinking is so nauseating.”
But that was the only thing Roxas could think of. Xion wouldn’t betray the Organization…or her friends. Would she? He stared at the floor, his fists clenched at his sides. Were Nobodies and humans really all that different?
“You have to trust your partners,” said Roxas, flaring up. Then he raised his head to glare at Saïx. “Why is it such a crime to give each other the benefit of the doubt?!”
“Just stop, Roxas.” Axel restrained his arm. “Just, calm down a little.”
Unlike with Roxas and Xion, I don’t think Lea ever considered destroying Isa an option. If Isa ever had to be destroyed, Lea promised him that they’d go together. That’s how attached he was to Isa. They were best friends and inseparable. He put Isa ahead of everyone.
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“Huh…you’ve got a point. So, okay, say you don’t need a heart for things to be important to you… Maybe the closest thing we Nobodies have is our pasts. It’s the memories that give things value.”
“Memories…,” Roxas mumbled at his lap. “Well, I don’t remember my past, so I guess that explains it.”
Axel pondered that for a few seconds before suggesting, “What about your present, though?” Roxas looked up. Somehow, he hadn’t expected to hear that from Axel.
“Wait, you’re right. I don’t want to forget about you or Xion.”
“See?” said Axel. “Everyone’s got things they wanna hang on to. Even us Nobodies.”
When asked what he couldn’t bear to lose, he didn’t say it was his friendship with Roxas or Xion. He knew Roxas valued the present more than anything, but Axel still would have chosen the past.
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Axel didn’t waste a second grabbing his chakrams. But his body was reluctant somehow. 
I don’t want to disappear… But still, it wouldn’t be so bad if I did. Not here. 
Even when Saïx wanted him dead, Axel felt like he’d rather disappear than fight him. Saïx was stronger than him, and Axel never thought he could beat him. He was never going to destroy him or anything. But even fighting him in self-defense was enough to make Axel feel like disappearing—the one thing he dreaded more than anything. 
This is a pretty overwhelming disadvantage, Axel thought. Well, I knew that before we started fighting. I can’t win against Saïx with my own strength.
Still, he refused to hesitate. He had to force this path open. He wanted…to find hope—the hope that Sora and Riku had.
Saïx gave him a cruel grin. “You will lose everything!” And then the Claymore pierced Axel’s chest.
I don’t want to disappear. I can’t disappear now. I shouldn’t have to disappear at all. Why am I doing all this? Who is it for? For Roxas… For Riku, for Naminé… And for myself. There are still things I should do. Things I have to do.
Axel was only willing to fight Saïx for Kairi’s sake. It wasn’t because they were best friends. He did it because it was the best thing for everyone. But he was envious of Riku and Sora because of the hope they had.
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“Al said he wouldn’t rely on magic, right? I want to fix it for him, but you gotta respect your friend’s wishes.”
“Your friend’s… wishes…” 
So, even if you mean for something to be for your friend’s sake, their wishes are still more important?
Lea and Isa promised to meet again in the next life. But even then, Lea changed his mind. Even if Isa disappearing was the best thing for everyone, and that was the decision he made himself, Lea didn’t care.
“That Genie person seemed very worried about that Al person. And then he said that you have to respect your friend’s wishes.” Xion bit her ice cream, swinging her feet.
Axel leaned his head to one side. “Your friend’s wishes, huh…” 
It feels like I have heard that before, a long time ago, when I was human.
He was going to bring him back, whether he liked it or not---whether it was the right thing to do or not. He’d bring him back, even if he had to drag him. And I think that is how Lea developed such a skewed sense of morality, and why he was willing to do anything for Saïx, even the icky jobs. Lea refused to respect Isa’s wishes if it meant he had to sacrifice himself.
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This is the way it has to go, Axel told himself, lying on his bed. This is the right course.
But he was swamped with misgivings, unable to accept his own decisions. How could he choose between Roxas and Xion? And yet, that was exactly what he’d been forced to do. Then Xion had walked away of her own accord.
Then again, this did little to alter the big picture. All it meant was that Xion would no longer be draining strength from Roxas. The plan would only suffer a slight delay in progress—nothing more. Although even that slight delay would let Roxas remain himself for a little longer.
Axel didn’t know what would happen. But he was glad, at least, for a little more time to think.
What will I have to do? What should I do?
His thoughts kept him awake for some time.
When Axel told Roxas that Xion needed to disappear for the greater good, he must have felt like a huge hypocrite. When Xion left on her own and Axel turned a blind eye, he must have felt like a huge hypocrite.
I promised Xion. I have to keep my word, don’t I? What Xion really wants—and what Roxas wants, too—is for the three of us to stay together. But there’s nothing I can do now to make that happen. So if I can at least keep my promise to her…that’s what I’ll do.
Axel didn’t let any of it show as he waited for Roxas to continue.
“You’re not really gonna do what Xemnas says…are you?” Roxas asked, still staring at the floor.
A tiny sigh escaped Axel. “I have to. Or else I won’t be safe, either.”
That was the harsh truth. And if he was gone, too, who would keep Roxas safe?
When Axel set out to destroy Xion after calling her his best friend, he must have felt like a huge hypocrite. When Axel thought he had to respect Xion’s wish to disappear, he must have felt like a huge hypocrite.
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Kairi looked up at him then. “Aren’t you…a bad guy?”
“I’m not,” Axel replied, completely serious. “But not really a good guy, either.”
“This doggy likes you, though,” she pointed out.
Axel dropped his gaze, and indeed, Pluto was right there with his tail whipping back and forth.
“Just because dogs like someone doesn’t mean they’re a good person, y’know. Got it memorized?”
I got the sense that Lea was always willing to get his hands dirty for Isa’s sake, because he remembered him to be so selfless. I think Lea would have done anything for him. He would have eliminated anyone to save him. Roxas, Xion, Sora. Anyone. 
Axel, what do you want to do?”
“Avoid being eliminated ideally.”
“So you’re offering me up to the organization?”
“…Well, you see any other options?” His expression was frozen in a forced smile.
He had no ideas. He didn’t know what to do. And he had no heart and thus no emotions to guide him, either.
I think Saïx was telling the truth when he said Axel changed. Their roles were reversed from the past. Axel was an assassin who was morally ambiguous. He said he didn’t believe anyone could say what was right or wrong, and he also didn’t consider himself a good person or a bad person.
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“But this is for everyone’s sake.”
Everyone…? Who do you mean by everyone? Us? Or others?
“Don’t say selfish crap like that. Every last one of…”
“This is for the best,” Xion said.
I hate that sort of thing. There’s no such thing as ‘this is for the best’. There’s, I want to, and I don’t want to, that’s all. I learned that in my human time.
He was willing to do bad things to achieve his goals. He was desensitized to it. It’s what he had to do to survive in the organization. As long as he got what he wanted, nothing else mattered. But when he realized how much Isa had changed, Axel’s resolve to get his hands dirty wavered.
“The best thing…?” Naminé set her crayons down on the table, her gaze dropping as she thought for a moment, and then she smiled at him again.
“It’s the right thing.”
In response, Axel only leaned back and rocked in the chair again. She took up her crayons.
No one could know what was right or wrong.
Roxas and Kairi were what finally tipped him over the edge. He could no longer do what he knew was wrong. This is why I think Axel’s friendship with Roxas and Xion was so important to his development. It was so important exactly because they weren’t really his best friends. They offered something to Axel that he couldn’t have gotten from his real best friend.
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“The dirty work doesn’t bother me,” Axel went on. “You just make for the top.”
There was nothing false in that, and he looked Saïx in the eye as he said it. Saïx stared hard back at him.
Right. We have our own agenda.
It’s interesting that Axel was so concerned with doing what was best for everyone in Days, considering he actually hated that type of thinking as a human. I got the sense that Isa acted as Lea’s moral compass during the experiments. There’s a reason Isa got possessed and Lea became an assassin, after all. And it wasn’t because Lea was a goody-two-shoes. He was a good person deep down. But he didn’t care what was best for everyone if it meant Isa had to die.
To suit the Organization, to suit Xion, to suit Roxas—to suit the world. I don’t give a crap about any of that any more. I use the Organization for myself. That hasn’t changed from the start. All that’s changed is for whose sake I do it for. Maybe he’d call it being a traitor. But, the world changes.
His best friend was more important to him than the world. But...Lea cared so much about him because he was the type of person who put others ahead of himself. It’s why Axel was willing to do all the dirty work for him. 
Ansem quietly shook his head. “Naminé, Roxas, and Xemnas… The Nobodies of those with strong hearts are peculiar beings. My—that is, our theories proved fruitless. Coming into contact with a strong heart transforms a world. And not just worlds, but people themselves—and even Nobodies.”
Naminé, head lowered and hand extended with the ice cream for Riku, perked up upon hearing those words.
That’s it… Yes. The mystery of the heart. When we encounter someone special…the world changes. Our hearts change. Everything changes.
Axel needed to have Saïx act like a horrible person in order for him to rediscover his sense of morality. His loyalty to Saïx was holding him back. He grew tremendously as a character by refusing to do the wrong thing, even for his best friend. He stood on his own two feet, did the right thing, and earned his redemption. Ironically, his betrayal of Saïx was due to his loyalty to his memories of Isa. And betraying Saïx was the only way to eventually get Isa back. 
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minniemonu-reverie · 5 years
Text
SRK Part 3- This Isn’t So Bad
~Super Rich Kids~
Part Three - This isn’t so Bad Master List in bio Genre:  Humor, fluff, smol angst
Pairing: Namjoon x Reader Before you can scream, one hand covers your mouth while the other forces you to turn around. “REMI!” Your squeal is muffled by her hand. She doesn’t bother answering you as she’s peering around the bookshelf she pulled you behind. “Okay. I’m going to forgive you for not texting me, even though I’ve been wondering where you’ve been, because wow. Who the HELL ARE THOSE GUYS?” Remi’s eyes were practically bulging out of her head, and you could see her face reddening as realization continued to seep in. “You just waltz into here like it’s completely normal that you’re with four strange dudes, sorry, four extremely hot strange dudes. I need deets, and I need them now, because I am going to have to go over there and do my godforsaken job, and I can’t believe you have just betrayed me like this. MY OWN BEST FRIEND.” You wiggled free from her grasp and grabbed her shoulders.  “Deep breath girl, I know, I didn’t want to spring them on you like this, but it’s been a DAY. I made a fool out of myself in class this morning, and Jimin wanted me to hang out, and I couldn’t just say no to him, YOU SEE THESE MEN. YOU SEE WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. I COULDN’T JUST SAY NO.” The intense whispers between you and Remi were starting to concern the surrounding customers, who were just trying to find a good book and you were clearly in the way -insert eye roll.
             The two of you peeked around the bookcase to see what the guys were doing. They were spread out in the plush chairs, looking completely at home. You couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but Jimin was doubled over laughing, while Jin was shaking his head angrily at Jungkook, who was just shrugging. Taehyung looked like he wanted nothing to do with the mess unfolding before him. You looked back to Remi to find her starting to sink inside the sweater she was wearing. “I can’t do this. I’m turtling. I’m going to turtle!” Remi squeaked and hid half her face. “They’re really nice, I swear! Also, this is only four out of seven…” “SEVEN?! ARE THE OTHERS COMING HERE TOO?” “No, no don’t worry about it,” Your mind instantly went to the missing three, and you scrunched your face as you thought of Namjoon. Would he even be able to relax like the rest of them? You couldn’t imagine him being able to joke around and be goofy when he looked so damn stuffy and high maintenance. Remi stared at you quizzically, watching you get lost in your thoughts. You shook your head. “The others are busy. And who knows, this might be the only time we see these guys. Once they realize how much of a loser I am, they’ll lose interest.” Remi smacked your arm.  “You are not a loser. And I can’t believe I’m saying this but get over there. I’m going to spend another minute taking some deep breaths and finding my zen before I come out to grab your orders.”
             Remi shoved you away, and you stumbled, knocking one of the tables and smacking your shin. You sighed in pain, why were you always so clumsy? “Y/N! Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?” Jimin called from his chair, looking deeply concerned. You knew if you said yes, he would most likely bolt right over and start cooing over you, so you shook your head no and walked over to the group. You noticed right away that there wasn’t a chair for you. The disappointment must’ve showed on your face, because Jimin leaned towards you, his expression changing to a sly grin. “There weren’t any chairs left to fit all of us, so you can just sit on my lap.” Before you even had time to protest, Jimin had pulled you down and you fell on top of him. His hands went to the spot where you had hit the table and he gently caressed your leg. “Oh, baby girl, you did hurt yourself.”
             Every part of you that touched Jimin lit on fire. Feelings that you couldn’t quite put a name to were overwhelming you and all you wanted to do was scream and run and hide in a corner until you could get a hold of yourself. Jin, Jungkook and Taehyung all stared in your direction, making you even more uncomfortable than you already were. The only solution you could come up with was to hide your face in your hands. “Y/N? You can sit between Jin and I, there’s enough room. You don’t have to give in to this thirsty boy’s shenanigans.” Jungkook suggested, and you flipped yourself off of Jimin and dove into the small spot between the two larger guys. “Kookie, that wasn’t nice, and I am not thirsty! You are giving Y/N the wrong ideas about me!” Jimin started complaining, his full lips turning into a frown. He sunk back into his chair with displeasure. “I’m giving her the wrong ideas? I have never laid eyes on such filth.” “Yikes.” You blurted out, your hands still covering your face. Jin gently punched you on the arm amused. You peeked from your hands and gave Jin a small smile. You could still hear Jimin grumbling and huffing across from you, his knees pulled to his chest.
             “Hey, uh, excuse me.” Remi was standing beside the five of you, her notebook out. She looked at you, and only you. “Are you ready to order?” Wanting to move the attention to someone else, you decided to tell the guys that she was your best friend that you had mentioned earlier. The guys immediately lit up with excitement, throwing compliments at her along with their coffee orders. You watched her carefully, noticing her voice become quieter and she started sinking into her sweater again. You leaned over Jin and grabbed her hand.
“Ignore these fools,” you whispered, trying to send her positive vibes and encouragement. “Remi!” Taehyung shouted, “You should hang out with us sometime! We would love to see you and Y/N together as a duo. I feel like you would fit in perfectly with us. If you weren’t working, I would say join us now, but, y’know.” “Uh, yeah, maybe next time. I’m going to put your orders in and then I’ve got some stuff to do in the back. It was really nice to meet you, you’re all so… enjoyable. Y/N, girl, text me later.” Remi shuffled away, and you knew she was at her limit of handling the situation.  You looked back to the guys, wondering how you got yourself into this mess.
             A different server brought your drinks to the table, and you knew you wouldn’t see Remi again for the rest of your time here. You grabbed your mug, taking a long sip. Caffeine would help. It always helped and right now it felt like a lifeline that you were desperately clinging to. Besides, you still had another class to get through before you could finally call it a day and go home. The five of you were getting along so well. Jin making awful puns, causing you to punch him numerous times in disgust, Jungkook calling out Jimin every time he tried to make even a slight move on you, Jimin pouting for 75% of the time, Taehyung giving everyone fashion advice and showing off his photo shoot pictures. It was a beautiful sight to behold. The more you talked, the more you felt a bond forming between you guys. You thought about the ones that weren’t there, and a small pang rang through you. You wanted to get to know them as well, and maybe you would eventually. The guys all seemed extremely close, so there was a definite chance you would be hanging out with all of them some time.
             You looked at your phone for the first time in a while, only to be met with the time staring you in the face once again. “FOR REAL?!” You started grabbing for your bag, trying to get yourself together. The guys looked at each other in confusion, before realization crossed their faces. “SHIT. YOU HAVE CLASS. WE HAVE CLASS.” Jin screamed, flying out of his seat. The others followed suit and soon enough you were all screaming goodbye to Remi, who was still in the back, and flying out of the coffee shop. The five of you ran all the way back to the school, screaming goodbyes and continuing on. A part of you felt a sense of relief, finally being on your own again, and the other part of you was upset you didn’t even get any of their numbers. Your phone pinged, and you had a twitter notification. Somehow, they had found your twitter. Already.  Jimin probably found it first. You were too busy looking at your phone, that you hadn’t noticed yourself approaching a tall figure, rather quickly.
             Your entire body collided with the person and soon enough, you found yourself on top of said human. A whimper escaped your mouth as the other person wheezed. “Oh my God, I am so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention, this is all my fault-” “You’re damn right this is your fault. Why weren’t you watching where you were-” The two of you stopped as soon as you realized who the other was. You quickly got up and brushed yourself off, your face brightening.  Why him? Why him? Why me? Why now?
It looked like Namjoon was thinking the exact same thing as you. His face soured and he crossed his arms, and you couldn’t help but notice a faint blush staining his cheeks. He’s embarrassed. Your blood started to heat at the sight of something so adorable, and you tried to push it down, but it wasn’t happening. “S-sorry.” You stuttered, looking at your feet.  How could this happen twice now? Was this fate? Was destiny trying to make you mortal enemies? “It’s fine.” He replied curtly. “A-alright, I’ll, uh, continue to class then. S-sorry again. I didn’t mean to ruin your day twice…” You grabbed the edges of your shorts, put your head down and tried your hardest to just walk past him, but he grabbed your arm to stop you.
             Your eyes widened and you looked up at him. His sunglasses were on his head now and you could really see what he looked like. You felt a blush rising in you, but you couldn’t move. The wind played through his hair, and your heart skipped. His lips were slightly parted, as if he was trying to figure out what to say to you. You saw the darkness under his eyes, he looked barely functional. That was probably why he had been wearing sunglasses. You instantly felt all the annoyance and anger leave your body, and every inch of you wanted to wrap him in your arms and tell him it would be okay. You could feel the weight he was carrying just by looking at him. As if he felt you reading him, he let go of your arm and put his sunglasses back on. He took a couple steps before turning his head to the side. “You… you didn’t ruin my day.” It was as if his voice carried on the wind. It was barely audible, but you heard it. Your feet were still frozen in place, and you watched him walk away.
             You instantly thought of the things the guys had mentioned earlier. How whatever Namjoon and the other two were working on was some sort of secret. You had no idea what it could possibly be, but it was clearly taking a toll on him, and as you walked the rest of the way to class you found yourself thinking of ways to cheer him up.
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