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#ssa matt simmons
redkid001 · 7 months
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Simmons: You’re so funny!
Reid: Thanks; I’m desperate for people to like me.
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cm-in-20 · 1 year
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Emily: You fainted, do you remember anything?
Spencer: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Emily: There wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you there.
Spencer: But I heard a siren?
Emily: That was Derek.
Derek: Sorry, I got nervous.
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mywilltodie · 7 months
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Morgan: *lifting weights*
Simmons : Wow… He´s so intense! 
Alvez : I wonder what drives him. 
Morgan, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.
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coppertophomegurl · 9 months
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1 ticket for Oppenheimer please / 1 ticket for Barbie please
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When I was first starting out with writing I was told to be wary of putting my characters through too much trauma, danger, etc. because it's not believable. It's not realistic to see one character go through various types of trauma over and over again. And I took that advice real seriously for a while...
Until I saw Spencer Reid in Criminal Minds because that bitch be going through it regularly. Like, I know the whole team has their fair share of hell, but I have never seen a character more accurately fit the Damsel-in-Distress archetype so perfectly. Damn.
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5ivebyfive · 3 months
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As an objective lesbian…
Matt Simmons is the most attractive man of the BAU.
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Fight me.
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crazybagelbitch · 9 months
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It’s hard to maintain a positive outlook on the depth of familiar love when they all have more than enough experience with that not being enough to keep family members from harming one another. Luke has to hope that John’s love of his sister will prevail to keep himself from losing it, but even if he doesn’t hurt her, he clearly isn’t going to just let her go. Where is he going to take her? Is he going to indefinitely keep her a hostage, locked away with a bad hair dye job in a new city to start a new life, running away from his old one of cruelty and lies?
Luke can’t tell if it’s the case or the illness that is making him feel sick to his stomach at this point.
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Midnight | Chapter 16 | S.R
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Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Chapter Summary - you travel to South Dakota with Spencer for his next target which leads to a surprising confession of feelings. The BAU make strides in discovering your whereabouts.
Pairing - unsub! Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader
Category - dark angst | smut | very eventual happy ending
Warnings - Spencer is trying, drinking, swearing, murder, drink driving, penetrative sex, unprotected sex.
WC - 4.9k
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Chapter 16 - Dangerous
Hal’s Used Car Lot, located just outside of Roanoke and only three and a half miles from where the burnt out Volvo was found, was the fourth place of its kind Luke Alvez and Matt Simmons had visited that morning. 
It was late when Penelope had dropped the information on them so they’d spent last night compiling lists and calling hospitals which didn’t yield anything. First thing this morning Emily sent Luke and Matt down towards Roanoke to check out several car dealerships and rental places. 
JJ and Rossi’s trip out to the Franklin County crime lab hadn’t shed any more light on the situation. No usable evidence was found in the car, all they’d ascertained was that petrol had been used as an accelerant and the crime scene techs had concluded it was arson and not an accidental fire. 
Luke stretched his back and rolled his shoulders as he exited the car again, all this driving around aching his muscles. Matt didn’t seem phased as he started across the lot, Luke following behind. 
It wasn’t hard to work out who they needed to speak to, the owner Hal Mitchum plastered his face across all the billboards around the lot and it wasn’t like it was a particularly nice face. He was a huge man, at least six six and almost as wide, his broad shoulders barely contained in the suit jacket he wore. 
Luke and Matt exchanged a look as they headed to where he was schmoozing a customer on the far side of the lot, throwing out his charm in the hopes of a sale. He looked up at them as they approached, the way his brow furrowed told them he wasn’t pleased about being disturbed. 
“Hal Mitchum?” Matt spoke as they neared him.
“Give me a minute fellas, I’m already with a customer.” He smiled at them, a slightly smarmy smile.
“Not customers,” Luke retrieved his credentials. “SSA’s Luke Alvez and Matt Simmons with the FBI.” 
Hal straightened up and scrutinised them for a moment or two, clearly perturbed by their presence. He turned to the lady he’d been showcasing one of his cars to and smiled at her. 
“Why don’t you head inside and one of my guys can give you some more information on this little puppy. I’ll be right there.” He patted her shoulder and she nodded happily, albeit slightly confused, before heading towards the building. 
Hal stepped out from behind the car and folded his thick arms over his chest, eyebrow cocked at the two agents. 
“What can I help you with?”
“We’re investigating a possible missing person. We have reason to believe he may have purchased a used car from you in the last couple of weeks.” Matt began. 
“He would have paid cash, probably didn’t look around much, he would have been happy with something cheap and reliable. He didn’t have another vehicle to trade.” Luke continued. 
“Boys,” Hal clucked. “This here is one of the busiest used car dealerships in Franklin County. You gotta be more specific.” 
Luke and Matt exchanged a look and Luke pulled out his phone and brought up a photograph of Spencer, turning the display towards Hal.
“He look familiar to you?” Luke asked, holding his breath while Hal inspected the photo with a furrowed brow.
“You know what, I think he does.” He nodded slowly. “Come inside, I’ll see if I can find his paperwork.” 
Luke felt a small weight lift from his shoulders as he and Matt hurriedly followed Hal across the lot. He led them to his office and slid in behind the desk. Luke and Matt took a seat while he rifled through a filing cabinet. Several long minutes passed before he settled on a particular file which he pushed across the desk to the SSA’s.
“Here you go, Andrew Burnett. Brought a little blue Nissan.” 
Luke picked up the papers and Matt glanced at it over his shoulder. He looked at the copy of the driver’s licence with a concerned frown. The photograph was most definitely Spencer, however the name was wrong and the licence was issued in the state of Colorado. He looked up at Matt who was frowning too.
“Wasn’t there a couple who checked into Heartland with that name?” Matt lowered his voice but of course Hal could still hear.
“Yeah, Andrew and Rose Burnett.” Luke nodded.
“Oh she was a sweetheart.” Hal spoke up and they both turned to look at him.
“Excuse me?” Matt questioned.
“His wife, Rose. She was a nervous little thing but she had a kind smile.” Hal nodded wistfully.
Luke retrieved his phone again and pulled up your picture which he showed to Hal.
“Was this her?” 
“Yeah that’s her.” 
“You’re sure?” 
“I never forget a pretty face.” Hal gave them that smarmy smile. 
“Any idea where they were heading?” Matt asked him now.
“No idea, but he kept saying he needed a car that would do a lot of miles. The Nissan was old but it had been well maintained. It was cheap and reliable, just like he wanted.” Hal leant back in his chair.
“And Rose, did she have any say in it? What was her involvement?” Luke was more keen to get to the bottom of where you fit into all of this.
“She didn’t talk much. You know now I think about it, she seemed like she didn’t want to be here. Kept checking the time, hurrying her husband along. Is he abusive?” Hal raised an eyebrow at the agents and Matt and Luke briefly exchanged a look.
“Why would you say that?” Matt’s brows furrowed.
“I don’t know, she just seemed…scared I guess, followed him around like a stray dog being promised food. Seen it before in abusive relationships.” He shrugged. “You want me to make you a copy of those?” 
Ten minutes later Luke and Matt were hopping back into Luke’s SUV with copies of the paperwork and driver’s licence. Luke started the engine but didn’t drive away.
“None of this makes any sense.” Matt was still staring at the licence that bore Spencer’s image. “Fake names, Colorado licences, a burnt out car?”
“If he’d set the fire himself, theoretically, why would he do that?” Luke turned in his seat to look at Matt.
“Because he has something to hide.”
“So pair that with the fake names and licences and the call I got from Y/N from the middle of nowhere and the fact that she’s been calling me from a burner phone. If it weren’t Y/N and Spencer we were talking about, what would you think?” Luke ran his hand over the back of his neck as he spoke. 
Matt exhaled, chewing on his bottom lip and looking between the paperwork and Luke. 
“I would think they were on the run. I would think these are two people who have committed a crime and are trying to get the hell out of dodge.” Matt admitted with a shake of his head. “We’ve gotta be wrong.” 
“I want us to be wrong.” Luke agreed. “But my gut has been telling me since day one that something was off, that there must be something big at play here. I’m really scared that Y/N and Spencer have done something irreparably stupid.” 
“We should get back and tell the team what we found.” Matt exhaled again, pulling on his seatbelt. 
Luke did the same before putting the car in drive and peeling out of the lot. He did not have a good feeling about this, but unbeknownst to him, it would only get a whole lot worse. 
***
When you awoke the next morning, you were alone in bed and honestly you weren’t surprised. Spencer had been the most vulnerable you’d ever seen him last night and you knew from experience that he would most likely have put his walls back up even higher than before. You were prepared for the cold shoulder, maybe even a fight. You at least hoped you could get some coffee in your system first. 
Still dressed in yesterday's clothes which you’d slept in, you padded down the stairs towards the kitchen. As you reached the bottom of the steps the smells of strong coffee and sweet syrup and smokey bacon wafted your way through the partially open kitchen door. You rubbed your eyes as you continued forward and tentatively entered the kitchen. 
Spencer was standing on the other side of the island, unboxing an array of hot and fresh food on the counter. He glanced up at you and offered you no more than a meagre half-smile before continuing his task.
“McGill’s does take out.” He shrugged. “Figured it would be better than anything I could cook.” 
You moved closer, sliding into one of the bar stools and smiling to yourself as you picked up one of the take out coffee cups.
“I also had no idea what you’d want to eat so I pretty much got everything.” He focused on laying out the food and wouldn’t look at you again. 
“That was really kind of you.” You dared to speak, taking a sip of the glorious McGill’s coffee.
“S’ok. We don’t need to make a big deal out of it. I was hungry too.” He shrugged, sitting in the chair next to you and started piling food on his plate. 
You knew it was a peace offering of sorts. Spencer didn’t have the words to apologise for now he’d been treating you and of course he knew one breakfast wasn’t simply enough but he hoped it was a start. 
You ate in silence and Spencer wouldn’t look at you and when he was finished he was quickly slipping out of the chair again. He smoothed out his shirt and swallowed thickly when he finally looked across at you. 
“I’ve gotta go up to South Dakota. It’s a really long drive so I was gonna head out soon and I probably won’t be back until tomorrow.” He awkwardly scuffed the toe of his converse on the wooden floor. 
“Oh, sure.” You tried not to sound as downtrodden as you felt. 
“I mean, I guess you can come. If you want to. Don’t feel like you have to, if you have plans with whatshisname or whatever. It’s your call.” He looked the picture of nerves and you thought it was extremely cute. It was amazing how one small gesture always managed to erase all the bad he'd done. 
It probably made you an idiot but you would cling to these moments when you caught a glimpse of the old Spencer as much as you could. 
“I don’t think I’m gonna be seeing too much of whatshisname anymore, so I have a free day.” You shrugged, trying to hide the smile from your lips.
“Ok. Cool.” He nodded. “We need to leave in the next half hour so, uh, yeah.” 
“Ok.” Your lip involuntarily turned up at the corner as Spencer started backing away. 
“Ok. I’m just gonna…” he trailed off, pointing over his shoulder and then he walked into one of the stools. He scrambled to set it right before it fell over and you saw a light blush spread to his cheeks. He shook his head, casting his eyes at the floor, no longer able to look at you. “I, uh, got you some stuff, it's on the couch.”
“Some stuff?” You frowned, getting to your feet as he made it to the door.
“Again, don’t make a big deal out of it, I’m just sick of hearing about you being cold.” With that he slipped through the door and disappeared. 
You frowned to yourself as you headed to the living room, knowing you had not once mentioned to Spencer how cold you’d been. You always had a feeling he could read your mind though. On the couch was a large brown paper bag with the Milky Way logo on the side. Your excitement took over and you were quickly diving inside. 
You found two large wool knit sweaters, one in a pastel pink colour and another in violet, Spencer’s favourite colour. There was a pair of thick knitted gloves, a scarf that was about four foot long and beanie hat all with matching patterns of stars and moons stitched into them. But that wasn’t all.
At the bottom of the bag sat a small yellow jewellery box which you plucked out with a shaking hand. You ran your fingers over the lid a few times before daring to open it. Nestled inside on a little velvet cushion was a handmade necklace of a rose gold heart hanging on a thin chain. Picking it up from the box and turning it over in your hand, you soon found the etching on the back of the heart. 
It was a little crudely done, clearly not something Milky Way usually offered, but you imagined Spencer had been insistent on having them engrave it for him and had probably paid a lot for the privilege. It was just three simple words but words that had to mean so much to you.
Partners in Crime. 
Your heart swelled as you held the necklace in your hand, a token of Spencer’s feelings towards you. It meant more to you than he would ever know. You couldn’t wait to put it on and show him that you felt the same. You were a little lost in the gift, and didn’t notice you were being watched until Spencer cleared his throat, startling you out of a reverie.
“Can you stop fawning and get ready now please? We really need to go soon.” He spoke from the doorway.
“Spencer,” you looked up at him, eyes full of tears. “This is so-”
“Don’t,” he shook his head. “It was nothing. Please don’t make it into a thing.”
“Fine.” You rolled your eyes, putting the necklace back in its box. “Can I at least say thank you?” 
“You’re welcome.” He muttered under his breath, turning away from you. “Now seriously, hurry up or I will leave without you.” 
You watched him leave again in amusement. You felt like maybe you and Spencer had built a bridge, like this could be the start of a whole new chapter for the two of you. Hopefully he didn’t prove you wrong again. But maybe you shouldn’t hold your breath.
***
Rapid City, South Dakota was an exhausting ten hour drive from Crested Butte. But Spencer didn’t seem all that phased by it, in fact he’d seemed more rattled when you’d joined him at the car wearing the necklace he’d gifted you. 
Had he expected you not to wear it? Why would he buy it if he thought you wouldn’t? It had clearly flustered him though and he’d averted his eyes and quickly hopped in the car. 
Talk had been minimal on the drive. He’d told you about his target, serial murder Jason Durand and the crimes which cops couldn’t pin on him. He’d stopped for gas once and brought you back a burger from the grubby roadside van nearby which you ate as he continued the drive. 
You were about an hour outside of Rapid City when he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, landing on the necklace he’d bestowed upon you. 
“You didn’t have to wear it, you know.” He spoke quietly, like he didn’t want you to hear him. 
“Why wouldn’t I wear it? You brought it for me, presumably for the purpose of me wearing it.” You couldn’t contain your smirk. 
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “If you didn’t like it or thought it was corny or something.” 
“It’s not corny.” You smiled at his obvious nerves. “And I love it.” 
“Right, good. That’s good.” He nodded. “But if you don’t want to wear it…”
“If I don’t want to wear it, I won’t.” You finished his sentence for him. 
“Good.” He focused back on the road but it was only a few minutes before he spoke again. “What did you mean when you said you don’t think you’ll be seeing too much of mountain man anymore?” 
“We’re, uh, it wouldn’t have worked out.” You fiddled with your hands in your lap. 
“Did you sleep with him?” He asked, his jaw tightening. 
“Yes.” You shrugged. “But you slept with Mary.”
“I did.” He sucked in a deep breath. “But I don’t want to again.”
You narrowed your eyes on the side of his face, trying to work out the things he wasn’t saying but he always was so hard to read. 
“Spence, if you have something to say, just say it. I can’t read your mind.” 
He clutched the wheel more firmly, his back straightening in his chair as he tried to get his words in order in his head. 
“I don’t want her or anyone else. So maybe we can just agree that we won’t…sleep with other people anymore.” He was more nervous than you’d ever heard him but after everything he’d put you through you weren’t letting him off so lightly. 
“I’m not sure I understand.” You lied, a smirk tugging at your lips. 
“Goddammit,” he growled under his breath.
Suddenly he was pulling the car to the side of the interstate and slamming on the brakes, causing you to jerk forward in your chair. He turned to look at you, eyes wide.
“Spencer?” You chewed on your lip, your stomach churning. 
“I only want you, ok?” He spat out. “I don’t want us to keep playing these stupid games. If you’re going to wear my ring, my necklace, then you’re mine and no one else’s.” 
“Spencer…” you furrowed your brows and he sighed loudly and over dramatically. 
“I love you, is that what you want to hear?” He spoke so fast as though he didn’t want you to understand him. “I love you and I think you love me too and we should…be together.”
He looked so frightfully unsure of himself, so much the Spencer you’d known. It made your heart double in size and all the bad things he’d done just slipped away. 
“Ok.” You nodded. 
“Ok?” He frowned. 
“Ok. I don’t want anyone else but you either. I’m yours, Spence. Always have been.” You offered him a meek shrug. 
“Ok.” He nodded, turning back to the wheel. “Good. Ok.” 
He was soon pulling back onto the road and continued driving without saying another word. You smiled to yourself as you toyed with your necklace. 
Maybe you shouldn’t be in love with Spencer, shouldn’t have let him off so easily. Love does make people do crazy things, but following Spencer to the ends of the earth was probably one of the craziest. 
***
The twenty four hours that followed were an adrenaline and scotch fuelled blur. The death of Jason Durand had been fast and bloody, and when you’d sliced his throat and felt the hot, sticky substance spurt on your skin, you’d had the biggest grin on your face. Looking up at Spencer, he’d been smiling too.
“That was the hottest thing in the whole world.” He praised you and managed to refrain from jumping your bones in the puddle of Durand’s blood. 
You cleaned up, got his body in the trunk and left the house how you’d found it before jumping back in the Nissan in your blood soaked clothes. You found an almost full bottle of scotch on the backseat and turned the radio right up, tilting your chair back and sipping from the bottle as the euphoria consumed you. 
Spencer drove at a slightly manic pace, reaching over and taking the bottle from you before having a hefty sip. He drove for no more than twenty minutes along a deserted strip of road west of Rapid City before he was pulling the car to a stop on the grassy verge. When he turned to look at you, his eyes were frantic, a smile on his lips larger than you’d seen on him in a really long time. 
He swigged from the bottle again before using his free hand to undo his seatbelt, then yours and then grabbed you by your wrist and pulled you over the centre console and into his lap. His fingers toyed with the gold heart around your neck as you took the bottle from him and sipped it. His hand then trailed down over your stained shirt and you felt him quickly grow hard. 
“I can’t wait any longer. I need you.” He bucked against you. 
“Then have me.” You shrugged, taking another sip of the scotch. 
No sooner had you swallowed, Spencer was kissing you, gripping the back of your neck to keep you close. His other hand was already working on the buttons on your jeans and helped you out of them which was no easy feat in the small car. 
You continued to kiss him while helping him free his erection. His fingers edged your panties aside before running between your legs. He hissed when he felt how wet you were already. He moved his thumb to your clit and started rubbing but you were shaking your head, moving to grip the base of his cock and move it between your legs. 
“Can’t wait.” You panted against his lips. “Need to feel you.” 
Spencer didn’t complain as you started lowering yourself on his member, feeling himself disappear inside of you inch by inch. His head rolled back against the headrest and he moaned deeply once he bottomed out. 
You gripped his shoulders and used them as leverage to start moving up and down. The radio was still blaring, masking your moans and it was only seconds before the windows of the car steamed up with your heavy breaths. 
Spencer groped your breasts through your shirt soaked in blood as you rode him, keeping eye contact with him as you did so. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been this turned on in his life, he’d missed this, missed you. Mary didn’t hold a candle to you and the way you felt.
He knew as he felt you clenching around him that he never wanted to be with another woman as long as lived. Your rings might be fake, but the symbolism was real. He loved you as though you were his wife and he would until his dying day. You were his everything. Nothing could mess with the two of you, nothing could ever bring you down. 
Your grip on his shoulders tightened and he knew you were close. He started rocking his hips up to meet you, desperate for you to reach the peak of pleasure. 
You screamed his name into the void as you fell over the edge, practically crumpling in his arms. He held you steady while he continued to thrust up into you until he spilled his seed inside of you. 
You stayed like this for a while, Spencer still inside you while you panted against his shoulder. He held you gently, almost lovingly while you caught your breath. After a while he took hold of your jaw and tugged you back to look at him.
“Partners in crime.” He mumbled with a smile. 
“Partners in crime. Forever.” You nodded in agreement. 
What you didn’t know at the time was that after tonight the two of you really would be bound together forever. That night in a haze of adrenaline brought on from your latest kill, in the front seat of that little Nissan, you and Spencer had created something that would tie you to each other forever. But it would be a while before you knew what happened that night, before you discovered the life you had created on the side of that road.
Spencer kissed you softly before helping you back into your seat. You got back into your jeans while he tucked himself away, taking another sip of the scotch before starting the engine and continuing on his way. 
He continued for another half hour before he pulled into the parking lot of the Gold Country Inn in the aptly named Deadwood. Being that he wasn’t covered in blood like you, he secured a room for the two of you for the night. 
You showered together, the dead body of Jason Durand still in the trunk of the Nissan for disposal tomorrow. You drank well into the night, exchanging sexual favours until the sun came up. 
In the morning you drove out to Nebraska National Forest where he dug a grave and buried your kill before starting the five and a half hundred mile drive back to Crested Butte. Spencer held your hand for the entire drive. And for the first time since you left DC some two weeks ago, you felt at peace, like you’d finally found where you were always meant to be. 
It was a classic case of folie à deux, a delusion shared by two people in close association. You’d started to believe what you were doing was justified, that you weren’t doing anything wrong. Spencer’s unwavering faith in his cause had rubbed off on you and there was no going back. 
You were Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow, Myra Hindley and Ian Brady, Rosemary and Fred West. You’d go down in history like those who came before you, right by his side. 
You’d had a taste and you’d never be the same. Spencer had awoken a dangerous side of you that could no longer be contained. You felt untouchable. 
But the one thing all those couples had in common was that they got caught, and you were stupid in thinking that you and Spencer could be any different. Because as the two of you drove back towards your new home, back at Quantico, Penelope Garcia had made a discovery.
She ran down the hall on her too high heels, almost tripping multiple times in her rush to find the team. She shoved open the bullpen door, causing it to swing on its hinges and everyone looked up at her as she fought to catch her breath. 
“What’s wrong?” JJ jumped up from her desk and ran to her side. “What have you found?” 
“I…I…” she panted, trying to control her breathing. “I put out the APB on the blue Nissan Spencer brought from Hal’s.” 
Luke was on his feet, coming closer to Garcia with a frown on his face.
“And?” He encouraged her. 
“It’s been spotted a few times here and there but since last weekend it has mostly been in one place. It comes and goes but it’s been picked up on the same camera multiple times.” Her eyes were wide, partly through excitement and partly through fear. 
“Where, Garcia?” Rossi was on his feet now too. 
“A place called Elk Avenue in the tiny little mountain town of Crested Butte, Colorado.” She spat out. 
The team all exchanged glances with one another, Emily who was standing in her office doorway included. It would make sense given the Colorado licence Spencer had used to buy the car but why that particular town? 
“We need to check it out.” JJ spoke on behalf of everyone, but looking at Emily. 
“We can’t all go, we have cases.” Emily shook her head, looking amongst her team and trying to make a quick decision. Her eyes stayed on Luke longer than the rest while she sighed. 
“Alvez?” She cocked her eyebrow at him.
“Yeah?” 
“First thing tomorrow, wheels up.” She nodded at him before turning on her heels and storming back into her office. 
You and Spencer had no idea the wheels that were currently in motion, like a train off its tracks hurtling towards you and there was no way to slow it down or to move out of its way. 
But you wouldn’t go down without a fight, no matter what happened. The BAU couldn’t stop you, not when you’d woken up feeling this dangerous. 
This is really my night, gonna take it right now,
Yeah, I'm feelin' like a Mack truck goin' downhill.
The people on the sidelines screaming "Slow down",
But you can't kill my vibe.
I'm a head case, and I'm leading the parade,
Rounding up the maniacs, let 'em out to play.
Once you get a taste, no, you'll never be the same
Bring the creatures to life.
My hand out the window just riding the wave,
My cares in the mirror just fading away.
Yeah, I'm superhuman, don't need to be saved,
Don't press your luck, I woke up feelin' dangerous.
Woke up feelin' dangerous.
(Ba-da-da, da).
(Ba-da-da, da).
Woke up feelin'.
This one's for the misfits,
And all the people on your shit list.
And now we're blowing you a big kiss,
'Cause we don't need you now.
I'm the little thorn hangin' outta your side,
You're digging me a grave 'cause you wish I'd just die.
Turn me to a ghost, now I'm flyin' too high,
And you can't kill my vibe.
My hand out the window just riding the wave,
My cares in the mirror just fading away.
Yeah, I'm superhuman, don't need to be saved,
Don't press your luck, I woke up feelin' dangerous.
Woke up feelin' dangerous.
(Ba-da-da, da).
(Ba-da-da, da).
Woke up feelin'.
They can't mess with us,
We woke up feeling dangerous.
They can't mess with us,
We woke up feeling dangerous.
They can't mess with us,
We woke up feeling dangerous.
They can't mess with us,
We woke up feeling dangerous.
This is really my night, gonna take it right now,
Yeah, I'm feelin' like a Mack truck goin' downhill.
All the people on the sidelines screaming "Slow down",
But you can't kill my vibe.
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@bubblebuttwade @jay-2s-world @daddy-dotcom
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Slow Heat
SSA Matt Simmons x female reader
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Rating: explicit - minors DNI
Word count: 1.5k
Summary: After wanting Matt for so long, what will you do when you finally get him?
Warnings: smut! - mentioned masturbation - oral sex (m receiving) - unprotected sex - multiple orgasms - canon divergence
A/N: this is set in an AU where he is divorced - there is a horrible lack of Matt smut and I don't think I would do justice to the husband/wife vibe but didn't want to make him a cheater
“Morning Matt,” you said cheerily as he entered the office. “Good morning,” he replied tersely, juggling his bag and a cup of coffee. He hadn’t been the same since telling everyone about the divorce. You couldn’t imagine what he was going through, trying to get used to his new reality, and learning to coparent with that many kids. 
A small, awful part of you was secretly glad he was getting divorced. It made the way you felt about him, and had felt ever since you met, a little more acceptable. Married man = giant no in your book. Divorced man = okay to fantasize about, which you did more often than was probably normal. There was also the small fact that you worked together. Sure, you worked in tech, it’s not like you went out in the field with the team, but they still treated you like one of their own - probably thanks to your friendship with Garcia. Office romances hardly ever worked out. Still…you couldn’t help but watch him every time he walked past, your heart skipping a beat when he smiled at you. 
Wanting to be respectful to what he was going through, you kept all your feelings to yourself. It was so hard when all you wanted to do was spend one night with him, showing him how eager you were to please him. Instead, you just ended up pleasing yourself while thinking about what he must look like underneath his clothes. It went on like that for months, you lusting after him from the sidelines, until one night after a particularly bad case.
The team had returned to the office, looks of defeat and anger plainly written on their faces. You just happened to still be there, finishing up a last-minute assignment. Your heart sank when you looked up at them getting off the elevator. “Oh no, what happened?” you asked, concerned. “The perp got away,” Rossi replied, shaking his head. “Damn, I’m sorry,” you said sincerely. “We’re going to go get a drink, need to shake this off. Do you want to join us?” he asked. “Sure, why not,” you replied, happy for the break. You were stiff and sore from sitting in a chair all day. 
Everyone grabbed their things, and you walked around the block to the nearby tavern. Thanks to Penelope switching seats with you - after a less than subtle wink and shoulder nudge - you ended up sitting next to Matt. At first you were extremely nervous, but you were surprised to find that talking to him came easily. The conversation stayed steady, both of you talking about your families, hobbies, favorite movies, everything. The others slowly began to say their goodbyes, and before long you realized it was just the two of you left. 
“Oh wow, I guess I need to get back home,” you said, looking at the time on your phone. “I’ll go with you, make sure you get there okay,” Matt offered with a smile. “You really don’t have to, it’s not like either of us drank that much,” you replied. And it was true, you switched to coke after a few shots, and he had been sipping the same beer all night. “Really, I insist,” he told you. Pretty sure that your face had turned several unflattering shades of red, you relented, grabbing your purse. The walk back to the office to get his car as well as the ride back to your apartment, were filled with awkward silence. What happened to the way you had been at the bar?
Pulling into the parking lot, he offered to walk you to the door. You took him up on it, not knowing what would come next. Standing at your doorway, you looked at him, wishing the night wasn’t over. “Want to come in for some coffee?” you asked, holding your breath until he replied. “Sure,” he said, and you unlocked your door with trembling hands. Throwing your bag down on the counter, you picked up two coffee mugs and were about to begin making the first one when Matt walked up behind you. 
Standing so close you could feel the heat coming off of his body, smell the cologne he was wearing, you resisted the urge to lean back against him. Instead, you stiffened, unsure of what to do or say. Suddenly you felt his hands on your hips, turning you around to face him. Looking up at him questioningly, his face so close to yours, you gasped as he ran his hand gently across your jawline, sending sparks through your body. “Matt, what are you doing?” you ask breathlessly, your body on edge just from that little bit of contact. Instead of answering, he leaned down and kissed you slowly and sweetly. “I think we could both use this, don’t you?” he asked, moving his body even closer to you. It was true, it had been a long time since anything but your vibrator had brought you to paradise.
“If you had any idea of how many times I had fantasized about this, you wouldn’t even have to ask,” you replied in a surprising burst of boldness. Never in your wildest dreams did you think any of this would actually be happening. He growled at your response and moved in to kiss you again, this time fast and hard. His hands roamed your body slowly in contrast, exploring every inch of you. 
Dragging him into your bedroom, you pulled his shirt off and tossed it to the floor. Holy shit you thought, running your hands over his muscled abs, practically drooling at the sight of him. Pushing him back onto the bed, you undid his belt and removed his pants. He was already hard, and just the outline of him straining against his boxers had you practically dripping. You kissed and licked a slow trail down his perfect body, working your way down to what you wanted most. Your eyes widened when you freed his dick from his underwear and the smirk on his face made you want to climb on him right that second, but you somehow controlled yourself, deciding to make this last as long as possible. 
Taking him in your mouth, you flattened your tongue and ran it up and down his shaft while sucking gently, and he groaned deeply in appreciation. One hand around his base and the other gripping his muscular thigh, you worked your magic on him, bringing him right to the edge before he pushed you back, not wanting to finish too soon. 
Eagerly shedding your clothes, you rejoined him on the bed. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing your neck, raising goosebumps all over. Going lower, he cupped your breasts, wrapping his lips around one hardened nipple while gently massaging the other. Moaning, feeling like your body would ignite at any moment, you almost jumped off the bed when he reached a hand down and ran his fingers through your slick folds. 
“Damn, you really did want this, didn’t you?” he grinned, feeling just how excited you were for him. All you could do was groan his name as he dragged his fingers through your walls, hitting that sweet spot that you always had trouble finding yourself. Two fingers worked inside you while his thumb made sweet circles on your clit. You looked up at him, his already dark eyes almost black, clouded with lust. It was enough, just knowing you were the cause of that look of absolute desire on his face, to push you over the edge. You climaxed, thighs trembling against his hand. 
Giving yourself no time to ride out your high, you pushed him back against the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling his thighs. “Oh my God,” he grunted, a look of absolute devotion on his face as you lowered yourself down onto him slowly. 
The stretch and slight burn went away quickly as you adjusted to his size, and you found a steady pace. He gripped your hips hard enough to bruise, and you ground down on him eagerly. Who knew sex could feel this good you thought to yourself. After all the months of longing for Matt, this was actually happening. He moved his hands up to grasp your breasts, bringing you back to reality. You rolled your hips even harder and faster, that invisible coil in your belly growing tighter, threatening to snap again. Your nails digging crescent shaped marks into his chest, you felt your second orgasm sweep through you. Squeezing down around him as you continued to ride him, Matt groaned your name as he also found release. Collapsing against him on the bed, your sweat slicked bodies sticking together, you sighed contentedly. Slowly tracing the tattoo on his bicep, he asked if you were okay. “Of course. I told you; I’ve wanted that for a long time now,” you replied. He cocked an eyebrow. “Really?” 
“You know, for a profiler you really missed all the signs, didn’t you?” you said with a laugh.
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enretrogue · 2 years
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𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐬
(These are not my works; full credit goes to the original writers. If you'd like your work removed, just shoot me a message and I'll remove it for you!)
✪ ~ BIPOC reader or writer (if this is wrong or you’d like it added, let me know!)
Fanfics Rec List
Aaron Hotchner
Spencer Reid
Derek Morgan ⎢ #2
Luke Alvez
Matt Simmons
Multi-Character / Misc. Posts
Men of the BAU: Kinks — @luciilferss Criminal Minds Masterlist — @girl-of-many-fandoms ✪ Periods — @libraryofloveletters ✪ Text Fic — @starsscribble Family — @ssa-atlas-alvez Text Fic — @starsscribble Text Fic — @starsscribble Text Fic — @starsscribble Going Undercover As a Stripper — @fangirlings-things Criminal Minds Masterlist — @hotch-stufff Forgotten — @talatomaz How The Team Figures Out You’re Together — @reidyoulikeabook Hopeless Reality — @literaila Reluctance — @talatomaz Their Favorite Trait of Yours — @celebrities-imagines When Another Genius Joins the Team — @lotsoffandomimagines An Awkward Meeting — @letarasstuff Their Reaction to Meeting You — @celebrities-imagines Accused — @kj-1130 ✪ Hotch’s Daughter — @fandomlit
Emily Prentiss
Peace and Love — @just-my-fandom
Jennifer Jareau
Lockdown — @talatomaz Defenseless — @talatomaz
David Rossi
Imagine Being David Rossi’s Daughter — @fandomlit
Penelope Garcia
Benefits of Friendship — @can-youimagine
Ralvez
Company — @mxchellesworld Collared Up — @amazingarfield We’re Not Gonna Leave You — @amazingarfield Roommate Agreement — @mercy-burning
Moreid
Duplicates — @lotsoffandomimagines Our Princess — @reids-chop-stick NSFW One Shot — @sinfulspencer
Hotch + Derek Morgan
Scenario Sunday Prompt — @jillys-feral-fandoms Scenario Sunday Prompt — @jillys-feral-fandoms Soccer Games and Reoccuring Feelings — @floraltypes
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the-invisible-queer · 10 months
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Harwin strong took Matt simmon’s spot in the bau in cm: evolution. Matt and harwin are rivals
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tahelms85 · 4 months
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Gift Exchange
"So remind me again what the MO of this guy is." He asked from the back seat of the SUV he was currently travelling in. In the front, driving, was SSA Matt Simmons, and sitting shot gun was SSA Luke Alvez. He was fresh out of college, and at just 25 years old had been brought in to the BAU as a support technical analyst and communications liaison to help Penelope who was currently at home resting. She'd gotten pregnant and pretty early on in the pregnancy it was determined that it was a high risk pregnancy so she'd been confined to bed rest. So she helped out when she could at home, and he'd been brought in to supplement what she couldn't do.
He was pretty sure she didn't have to go out in the field much though.
He couldn't complain much, though. Right after he'd joined up he'd gone out to a local bar with everyone and by closing time it was just he, Luke and Matt and they'd stayed until they got kicked out.
After that things…progressed and somehow he'd found himself in the early stages of a relationship with the two men. If by early stages you meant staying over at someone's house every night, babysitting Matt's kids he had with his ex, grabbing Roxy from the dog sitter when Luke was running late and…
sex. Lots of sex.
He cleared his throat to keep from thinking about that too much.
"Racism." Luke said, glancing back at him, a smirk on his face like could read his thoughts.
Matt scoffed and glanced over at him. "It's not that cut and dry…"
"How?" Luke asked. "All of his victims have worn either hijabs, tudungs, esarps, or saris. And most of them had on saris."
"Ok. It was racism." Matt said. "He's either xenophobic, or it's a crime of passion."
"You think it's a crime of passion?" Luke asked.
"I think it's a possibility." Matt said. "I think maybe he has an ex that either cheated on him or did him wrong in some way and she wore a headdress of some sort and now he has a hatred for women who wear them as well."
"And he…choked them to death." He said, looking over the file on his laptop. "No finger prints?"
"No, he conveniently used the fabric to hide the prints." Luke sighed. "Not even a partial slip or anything."
"He also did it in alleyways." Matt said. "Every single time. So there was no eye witnesses. Everyone at the places we've gone to ask around, no one's ever reported anyone acting suspicious, although they remember the women very well."
"It's the south." He mumbled. "I can't imagine you get a lot of people wearing hijabs in a place like this."
"You got that right." Luke said. "Although there are 31 mosques in the state as a whole."
He whistled under his breath. "Wow. That's about 31 more than I imagined."
They pulled into one of said mosques, WD Mohammed Center, and he nodded when Luke told him to stay put and they'd be right back. He turned back to his laptop as a few new things from Penelope popped up and he absently rolled down his window, letting in the cool fall air to cool him off (he tended to run warm). It was currently 50 degrees outside and it felt really good on his skin.
If Prentiss ever found out what happened next, he had a feeling she'd give him a disappointed look and he was pretty sure he'd never hear the last of it from Tara and JJ, but someone managed to sneak up on him. He was replying to a message Penelope sent him when he felt a gun press to the side of his neck.
"Why are ya'll following me?" A gruff voice asked.
"Because you've killed 15 women so far." He blurted out. He heard a voice in his head telling him to shut up and it sounded a lot like a mix of Luke and Matt.
"They ain't shit!" The man roared and he shivered a bit, feeling his heart slamming in his chest. "You don't wear that type of shit here! This is the goddamn United States of America. Home of the free…"
"Built by immigrants." He said, and then cringed. Before he could regret what he said too much, he felt the guy reach in with a huge, meaty arm, starting to drag him from the car through the window. He barely had time to undo his seatbelt before he was dragged out, pulled away from the SUV. He saw Luke and Matt coming out of the mosque and, despite knowing the guy had a gun, he took a chance. "HELP!" He winced when he got whacked across the temple and he saw stars, stumbling along as the guy dragged him off.
He was vaguely aware of Matt and Luke yelling, but he couldn't focus on much beyond trying not to fall as he was dragged off. The guy who'd grabbed him smelled like strong (cheap) cologne, sweat and tobacco and he was trying not to gag and puke as he inhaled it, along with trying to wiggle his hands between the arm holding onto him and his chest so he could breathe.
He felt completely useless, trying to calm himself enough to think rationally. He was a BAU agent for God's sake, he couldn't be someone's victim. Managing to wiggle his hands between his body and the guy's arm, he gave a firm shove and whirled around, whacking the guy as hard as he could with his forearm. Unfortunately, the guy was just barely stunned and managed to shove him, sending him rolling down a steep embankment.
Hearing Matt and Luke shout his name, he heard a gunshot a few seconds later, but before he could wonder who had been shot, his head hit a protruding rock and he blacked out.
Sometime later he woke up, hearing the beep of medical equipment, letting him know where he was. The second thing he realized was that he had a splitting headache, making him groan.
"Hey now, it's ok." He felt a hand squeeze his and he managed to open his eyes enough to see Matt sitting there, smiling gently at him. He'd changed out of his work clothes into a tanish green short sleeved henley and a pair of dark wash jeans. "You have a concussion, you split your head open pretty bad and you broke your wrist."
"Damn." He croaked out, watching as Matt reached over to pour you a glass of water. "I don't know that I'm going to be any good to Penelope with a fucked wrist."
"Don't worry about that, we'll deal with it later." Matt gently raised his bed enough for you to sip at the water. "How do you feel?"
"Like I have a concussion and split my head open." He said honestly.
"Yeah, you're on concussion protocol for a while." He said.
He groaned. "Please tell me I don't have to stay here until…"
"A little over a week." Matt confirmed, making you groan. "It's protocol, they recommend waiting 10 days before you get on a plane."
"This sucks." He sighed, wincing when it just made his head feel worse.
"Well there's some good news." Matt said, squeezing his hand.
"What?" He asked.
Luke came in then with what you affectionately called his b-boy style, a brown button up half unbuttoned, baggy pants and pristine white sneakers. He was carrying several heavy looking duffle bags. When he saw that he was awake, he plopped them down and came over to the bed.
"Mi querido." He sighed out, leaning over the bed. He kissed his cheek gently and then just leaned into him for a second. "You worried the shit out of us."
"Sorry." He said, flushing.
"I'm just glad you're ok." Luke rubbed his arm. He looked over at Matt. "Garcia got us an AirB&B, JJ went and checked it out, not that she had to, Garcia's not going to put us up in a shithole, she says it's legit. She and Prentiss are going to stock it with food for us before they had back to DC."
"Are they mad at me?" He asked.
Luke looked at him weirdly. "Why exactly would anyone be mad at you?"
"I let the guy pull me out of the car…" He stared.
"You were looking at your laptop." Matt said.
"Exactly, I should've been paying attention." He said.
"Stop." Luke said, gently squeezing his arm. "No one is mad. In fact, JJ told me to tell you that she's going to bring you so many desserts from Pandaderia…"
"Alfajor?" His asked, purposely fucking up the pronunciation.
Luke winced. "Alfa…you shithead."
He grinned cheekily up at him.
"You scared me today." Luke said. "Hell, you scared both of us."
"You did, but we're glad you're ok." Matt stood and leaned on your other side.
"Does this mean you're going to chuck me into more self-defense classes and shooting range time?" He asked.
Luke smirked. "Us? No. Prentiss however…"
He groaned and rolled his eyes. "I had a feeling. Damn."
"If it makes you feel better, Morgan will be over your range time." Luke grinned.
He gave him a sassy look. "That does not make me feel better at all. He's a slave driver. Not even that, he stands beside you and boasts about himself while you desperately picture his face on the target and try and get him right between the eyes…"
Both Matt and Luke burst out laughing and quite frankly it killed your head, but you were just glad your two guys were doing ok then. After Matt leaned down to kiss you and then said he was going to get some dinner so you didn't have to eat hospital food, you closed your eyes, deciding to doze for a little while while you waited to get discharged, wondering just how quickly the next 10 days would go.
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Note
This is for humor, not wet Wednesday, or to be used as a fic. You and Matt are best friends and joke around a lot. When you find out he is expecting his 5th child you give him a box of condoms. LOL
Team Simmons
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Platonic!Matt Simmons x Reader 
Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, alcohol and mild consumption of, pregnancy jokes 
Category: Fluff
Word Count: 1.5k
Author’s Note: I lovedddd writing this :) 
----
Jake ran over to you as you walked through the door. “y/n!” he shouted as he hugged you. 
“Hey buddy! happy birthday!” you hugged him back and handed him a huge gift bag that had his birthday gifts in. 
“Someone went overboard with the gifts again, didn't they ?” Kristy smiled at you from the living room. “Hey pretty lady” you made your way over to give her a hug. 
“How’s the bean?” your hand rested on her belly, “good” she smiled. 
The rest of the team had already arrived, JJ and Emily were outside with the kids as Luke showed them the tricks Roxy could do. Penelope took this moment as her chance to take some pictures, ones you were sure would be sent out to everyone in the morning. Tara, Spencer and Rossi were having a conversation about something you couldn’t hear at the moment. You and Kristy had made your way to the kitchen when Matt came down with the girls, one in each arm. 
You took Chloe from him, holding her on your hip. “Not even here for 5 minutes and already stealing my kids ?” Matt asked you 
“Haha Simmons, very funny. You’re just mad cause she loves me more, isn't that right kiddo ?” you tickled her side, she let out a loud giggle before you put her down. 
Everyone made their way to the backyard. The kids ran around as Roxy chased them through the yard, JJ yelling for them to slow down before they fell over or trample the girls. Rossi stood by the BBQ because he refused to let anyone else cook, although Spencer told him using the BBQ doesn’t exactly count as “cooking” 
Emily had found Matt’s wine stash and opened a bottle which her, Penelope and Tara were working on. You were sitting beside Luke as you looked around the yard. 
You really did find a family with each other. 
David chased his brother to the pool, the boys jumped in which only further caused commotion, as Micheal and Henry jumped in after them. Kristy and JJ both looked like they were about to lose their patience, there were now 4 very hyper boys splashing in the pool.
The noise and laughed had caught Roxy’s attention. Her head perked up from beside Luke’s leg and before he could grab her collar, she made a run straight into the pool. 
“Boys! Get out of there!” Kristy told them, all of them laughing and ignoring her. 
“If you don’t get out, we’re gonna go home right now” JJ gave her boys a stern look, hoping if they got out, so would Jake and David but again, they just ignored the two woman. 
“Matt, will you come get your children ?” Kristy looked over at Matt who could barely move with two very comfortable looking girls sitting on his lap. 
“Babe, I can’t” he gave her an apologetic look. 
“I got it” you got up and walked over to the pool, Luke followed you. “Rox, c’mon girl” Luke whistled, Roxy too, ignored him. You chuckled as you watched the boys and Roxy in the pool, they all looked so happy. 
“Boys, c’mon” you crouched down in front of them, the 4 of them swam up to the edge of the pool. 
“Kristy worked hard to put together this party and it’s only fair that we be good for her, right ?” 
The boys looked at each other and smiled. “Okay” Jake said, smiling at you. You stuck your hands out to help them get out of the pool, Jake grabbed one hand and Henry grabbed the other and they both tugged. 
You fell right into the pool, you swam back up to the top, “are you kidding me?!” you laughed, wiping the water from your face. 
Kristy sighed, walking about from the pool, leaving you and the boys in the pool. JJ shook her head, “you’re all in trouble, you too y/n” you laughed as she walked away. 
“Rox, come here girl, come on” Luke was still trying to get her out of the pool. “Alvez, come here. I’ll push her to you, you help her out” he crouched down and you did get Roxy to the edge of the pool, and out of the pool. Luke was still crouched down as Roxy shook the water off and all over Luke. 
“Hey, help me out” you stuck your arm out to Matt, who made his way over to the pool after giving the girls to Kristy. He grabbed your hand only to be pulled into the pool. 
“Y/n are you serious?!” Matt shouted as he splashed the water towards you. You laughed, the boys clung onto their father as JJ’s boys clung onto you. One by one, you helped the kids out of the pool and then got out yourself. You and Matt had a close relationship, he was your best friend, basically like your older brother. 
Once everyone had dried off, the boys got their fair share of yelling from their mothers, you got yelled at from Rossi after he saw you encouraging the boys and their nonsense rather than getting them to listen to their mothers. Everyone had settled down and had dinner, Kristy and Matt wrangled the kids together to cut Jake’s birthday cake and attempt to get one decent picture before they all ran off to do their own thing. 
Jake and David were in the other room with Henry and Michael while the girls were upstairs. “Y/n, you gotta stop buying so much for the kids. They have a million and one things already. Between you and Penelope, we can stop buying stuff for them” Matt chuckled, you smiled at him as Penelope let out a gasp. 
“Matt, I'll have you know that’s my job as the cool aunt! I must- it’s my duty to spoil them” she stated, taking a sip of her drink. You nodded in agreement, “what she said” 
It was always nice to have the team together outside of work. Matt and Kristy sat together, her legs rested on his lap. Tara, Spencer and Penelope sat on the other couch, Luke sat on the armrest of that couch beside Penelope. JJ and Emily were on the two seater and Rossi was on the recliner, you sat on the floor beside him. 
“Oh!” you looked around for your bag. Rossi looked down at you, “what’s wrong kid ?” 
“I have something for Matt” you pulled your bag over to you, digging through the contents of the bag and finding what you were looking for. Everyone was now looking at you, you pulled out a little wrapped box with a bow on it. Tossing it to Matt, he catches it. 
“What’s this?” he shook the package
“Open it” you smiled, your head resting on the chair behind you. 
Matt ripped the paper off the box, Kristy let out a ridiculously loud laugh when she saw what you had given Matt. 
“Are you serious ?” Matt asked you, holding back a laugh. 
The wrapping paper on his lap had covered what you had given him. “What is it ?” Luke asked him, Matt held up the box of condoms you had just gifted him. The whole room erupted in laughter. 
“As much as I love you guys, and I really do. My wallet can't handle all the birthday and Christmas gifts.” you laughed. 
“You're telling me” Matt laughed as he tossed the box to the other side of the couch. 
“But seriously, it would be nice to give your wife here a break. She's literally always pregnant Matt, I don't even understand where you find the time” 
“I know right!” Luke piped up, Penelope smacking his side “be respectful!” 
“Yeah, thanks for these” Matt laughed as he tossed the gift paper at you, making you laugh. 
“You’re welcome” 
David had wandered into the living room after getting a glass of water, he picked up the box as he sat beside his father. 
“Dad?” 
“Yeah bud?” 
“What are these?” 
Matt looked over at him to see what he was referring too, you held back a laugh. Matt took the box from him, “nothing bud, grown up stuff” Matt told him, giving you a look after you let out a stifled laugh. 
David shrugged as he made his way back over to the other room. 
“I’m gonna kill you l/n” he stood up as did you. 
“Only if you can catch me Simmons” 
----- 
taglist: @aaronhotchnerr @mac99martin @aaron-hotchner187 @tclaerh @luke-alvez @iconicc @lieberhers @pumpkin-reads @ssa-holmes @katexrichardson @sluttytears @thelukealvez @scandinavian-punk @rosesonmyheart @haleymalaffey @shotarosleftpinky @mrs-dr-reid @hqtchner @averyhotchner @andreasworlsboring
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coppertophomegurl · 8 months
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Aaron Hotchner had more chemistry with John Blackwolf and Madam Bouvier in a single episode each, than he did with Haley in 5+ seasons.
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jegulusofwesper · 3 years
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So @glitterxshlutt has never seen criminal minds so I asked her what she this their names, personalities and sexualities are.
Jason Gideon - “Steve, weirdo and bi”
Dave Rossi - “Geoff, his wife is having an affair, straight”
Aaron Hotchner - “Andy, thinks he’s a lady killer, straight but closeted bi” Aaron, Andy close enough right?
Spencer Reid - “Tyler, only people he can make friends with are kids, gay af”
Derek Morgan - “Maddox, he looks like a baddass but it’s a big teddy bear, pan- he loves everyone”
Matt Simmons - “dan, kinky, gay”
Stephen Walker - “Jason, he thinks he’s top dog but really he’s a dick, straight”
Luke Alvez - “Micheal, is a legit sun beam, asexual”
Will LaMontagne Jr. - “Adam. He thinks he’s a fuck boi but he’s a small dick no boi, he will fuck anything that’ll let him but that’s no one, pan” yano I think will might be her favourite 👀🤣
Grant Anderson - “Ted - short for edward, wants his daddies approval, closet gay”
Ashley Seaver - “caitlin, talks with a really annoying girly voice to make herself seem sexy, straight and boring only does missionary”
Jennifer Jareau - “Tyra, bubbly and kinda normal, closet bi”
Emily Prentiss - “Katie, tsundre for sure, lesbian queen 👑 (i like this one)”
Penelope Garcia - “Kelly, seems annoying at first but would legit do anything to help her friends, asexual”
Elle Greenaway - “Elaine, the annoying pick me girl, straight”
Tara Lewis - “Marie, top energy, bi queen, (milf)”
Alex Blake - “Karen, reallllllly annoying but gets the job done, so straight she doesn’t even touch herself”
Jordan Todd - “Emily, soft but will cut a bitch for her friends, Lesbean”
Kate Callahan - “Olivia, kinda annoying but also has the dankest memes, straight but kisses girls when drunk”
Savannah Hayes - “Bonnie, gentle and kind, straight but poly”
Beth Clemmons - “Jessica, perky and a shoulder to cry on, lesbian”
Haley Brooks/Hotchner - “Madeline, always crying about random stuff, emotional, straight”
Maeve Donovan - “Edie, total slut, pan”
Cat Adams - “Leanne, office goof, deffo bi but only been with men”
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heart-strong · 3 years
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My question is, dose Hotch call Spencer “Pretty Boy” when they are making out?
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