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kenny-the-ken · 1 year

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Planet Love

ALL AGED UP CHARACTERS!!! Warnings!!: NSFW, drugs, alcohol, night club setting, fingering, head f!receiving, intercourse, cum eating, no protection.

Hey guys!! Sorry there hasn't been much smut on my blog for a few days, a few years ago I went through a really traumatic S.A. and I never really ever dealt with it properly, I didn't tell a single person till 2 years after the event, so I'm only starting therapy now, so sorry if this ever happens again, sometimes sex abd thinking about sexual things can freak me out!!

You were good looking, and you knew it, and Kenny could feel the pure sex appeal dripping from your body, his eyes had been focused on you from you hit the dance floor with your friends.

"Dude, go fuckin' talk to her!" Kyle shouted to his friend, the music loud enough to deafen you if you stood close enough to the thumping speakers.

"Dude, she's with her friends! She's not gonna ditch 'em for some guy she doesn't know!" Kenny shouted back, and Stan pushed his shoulder, gaining his attention.

"And who said we weren't eyeing up her friends?" He shouted, him and Kyle smirking at each other.

"We'll keep the friends distracted, we'll be your wingmen!" Kyle shouted, the three men fist bumping each other in a circle as they made their way through the crowded dance floor from the edge.

"That's them!" Kenny said to his friends, pointing at you, and god you looked even better close up, you'd noticed him watching you a few times now, and you'd also noticed that he was standing closer to you than before and you knew to dance a bit more provocatively now than before, cause he was hot!

You moved your hands along your body, moving your hips with the beat of the song, and Kenny approached, beginning to dance near you, and you were glad your little tactic had worked.

"Hey, I'm Kenny." He spoke, giving you a quick up and down glance, biting on his lower lip.

"I'm y/n." You replied, and Kenny held his hand out to you, before speaking once more.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Kenny asked, and you nodded, taking his hands, and Kyle and Stan were already chatting up your two friends, so he knew his plan had worked.

As you approached the bar, the music not as loud, Kenny ordered you a cocktail and himself a vodka and coke, and upon seeing him better and more up close, the more you were wanting to see where this led to.

"Sorry, I normally don't do this but, you were gorgeous and I knew if I didn't talk to you I'd have regretted it." Kenny spoke, and you felt your cheeks flush slightly, a smirk on your face.

"I normally don't accept drinks from guys, but you're cute. So, things are going well already." You flirted, and Kenny leaned his elbow on the edge of the bar, quirking his bro, taking a swig of his drink before replying.

"Hm, so what are the chances of me at least getting your number by the end of the night?" He asked, pressing to see if you'd meant what you'd just said.

"I'll give it to you now." You said, pulling your phone from your pocket, and Kenny did the same, punching his number into your phone, and you put yours into his, before returning your phones.

"Do you smoke?" Kenny asked, and you nodded in response, as you took his hand, beginning to drag him to the smoking area, and Kenny shot a quick thumbs up from his friends, Kyle returned the gesture, Stan didn't see or care that he'd missed it, he had his tongue down your friend Wendy's throat.

You pulled a cigarette from your purse, and you gave one to Kenny, him pulling his lighter from his back pocket, and lighting the cigarette that hung from your lips, before lighting his own.

"What attracted you to me then?" You asked, taking a few puffs from your cigarette as Kenny did the same, blowing his smoke out before he spoke.

"I seen you dancing, you looked stunning, like just everything about you, I couldn't pick just one!" Kenny replied, testing the waters by snaking his arm loosely around your waist, and you accepted his bold move, inching your body a bit closer to his.

"So, what are the chances that I can get you to ditch your friends and come back to my place for a more... private drink?" Kenny asked, his index finger tracing circles along your hip bone, your faces closer now than they were before.

His eyes were oceanic, a beautiful, shimmering blue, and his fluffy blonde hair complemented them perfectly. You were lost in his gaze, as he began to close the gap between you both.

And he'd done it, he pressed his lips to yours, and you swore it was like no kiss you'd ever experienced before, you could feel the butterflies spiralling in your stomach, your arms coming to reach around the taller man's neck, pulling you both closer together.

And Kenny had never been so thankful he'd went on a night out with his friends, because this was different, it was as if fate had brought you both together, knowing that powers above had crafted you both perfectly for each other. And as you both pulled away from the passionate kiss you'd both shared, your breaths heavy already.

"Did that kiss answer your question?" You flirted back, and Kenny's bottom lip caught in his teeth, having to control his urges.

"I don't know, baby. Maybe you should kiss me again so I understand better." Kenny spoke, one of his hands that were round your waist, making its way down to grip your ass, earning a gasp from yourself, and his lips were back on yours, not that you were complaining.

It was just as electric as the first time your lips had connected, maybe love at first sight did exist after all. Kenny felt his jeans start to become uncomfortably tight around his groin.

As you both pulled away again, gasping for breath, you downed the rest of your drink quickly, and Kenny followed your actions, doing the same himself, both of you puffing your cigarettes and stubbing them out in the ashtray in front of you.

"How about we get outta here?" You asked, and Kenny's smirk was firmly planted on his lips, taking your hand within his own.

"I thought you'd never ask, baby." Kenny answered, shooting you a playful wink, as he began to lead you back inside the nightclub, and on your way you spotted Kyle, still chatting with your friend Bebe, meanwhile Stan and Wendy were nowhere to be seen.

The cool night air hit you both as you walked outside, still hand in hand, both of you swaying from the alcohol you had been drinking, and you laughed and flirted the whole way to Kenny's apartment. He, Stan and Kyle had rented an apartment together, it had three bedrooms, so they could all have their own privacy, but they could split the rent.

"Welcome to my humble abode." Kenny said, holding the door open for you as you made your way inside, giggling the whole way up the staircase. You waited for Kenny on the landing, and he showed you to the living room.

"This is a really nice place, Kenny." You spoke, taking a seat on the couch, and Kenny made his way back from the kitchen, holding two glasses of red wine, handing one to you, and you took it gratefully.

"Thanks, Stan and Kyle are my roommates, so it isn't exclusively mine, y'know?" He laughed, taking a swig from the wine glass he held, sitting himself next to you, and you took a swig of your own drink before putting the glass on the table next to you.

"So, Kenny." You started, your hand reaching Kenny's upper thigh, dangerously close to his groin, and his bottom lip caught in his teeth.

"What's the real reason you brought me back to your apartment?" Your voice was sultry, and Kenny's eyes were focused solely on you, and when you delivered a soft squeeze to his thigh, he smirked at you.

"That's dangerous, baby. Do that again and I swear I'll have you stripped with my head buried between your legs faster than you can say my name." Kenny smirked, his arm finding it's way around your waist, as you shifted closer to him on the couch.

"And who said that wasn't what I wanted?" You replied, Kenny's resolve had worn out, and he crashed his lips roughly against yours, his calloused hands running through your thick locks of long h/c hair.

And he broke the kiss momentarily, just to trail his lips down your jaw once more, pressing wet kisses along your neck, a smirk on his face, the grip he had on your waist tightening.

"You better get your ass into that bedroom and strip for me, I've wanted to get you outta these clothes from I first looked at you." Kenny whispered, your cheeks heating up, a dark blush spreading along your face.

"And what if I don't?" You pushed, causing Kenny's brow to quirk, he knew you were testing him, and his hand moved up your thigh, under your dress as he ran his index finger along your clothed cunt, making you gasp in shock.

"Based on how wet your panties are, baby. I'm gonna say you can't wait to get in there and for me to take you, hm?" Kenny hummed, his voice low as he scammed your body with his piercing blue eyes, and you were completely under his spell.

You rose to your feet, and Kenny copied you, taking your hand within his as he led you through to his bedroom.

The room was dark grey, a few tapestries hung on the walls, and a large kingside bed in the centre. He had built in wardrobes, and a beside table on either side of the bed, and you let out a light gasp as Kenny pushed you backwards, landing with a plop on the soft mattress, a smirk on his face, his eyes dripping with lust.

"You should strip for me, baby." Kenny said with a smirk, standing in front of you, taking his shirt off, throwing it aimlessly on the soft, carpeted floor.

And you did exactly as you were told. Pulling your lace bralette from your body, leaving your upper half completely exposed, and you swore Kenny was drooling, a low groan escaping his mouth.

"Fuck, your tits look even better than I imagined." And he couldn't hold back any longer, he moved onto the bed, pushing you backwards with him, his lips on yours and his free hand moving up to cup your breast, teasing your erect nipple with his thumb and forefinger, earning a moan from you, and that only spurred him on further, wanting to hear more of you, see more of you, touch more of you.

Your arms wrapped round his neck, a gasp leaning your swollen lips as Kenny bit down on your lower lip, snaking his tongue into your mouth, and exploring every inch he could reach, before pulling away to allow you both to catch your breaths. He licked a long stripe up your throat, moving his lips to focus on your other breast, his tongue circling your nipple, before sucking it into his mouth, causing your back to arch slightly, and Kenny groaned at the sight of you.

"Fuck, Kenny." You gasped, and he needed more, pulling your skirt from your body and down your legs, the only thing between him and your pussy bring your now extremely damp panties, your face flushed at the thoughts of Kenny touching you.

And you didn't have to imagine for long, because Kenny soon had your panties flung over his shoulder and his head buried between your thighs.

He traced his tongue between your folds, your back arching and a gasp leaving you as a result. That's when he spread your lips open, allowing him perfect access to lick circles on your clit, a string of moans leaving your mouth, your hands tangled in his messy blonde hair, tugging at the ends, making Kenny groan into your pussy, his tongue travelling down to your hole, pushing his tongue inside and you swore you'd died and went to heaven, because this was the best head you'd ever received, and it had only started.

It wasn't long before Kenny had you a mumbling, moaning mess and you were coming round his two digits, his tongue lapping up your taste before pulling his jeans and boxers down, his large cock springing free.

Kenny was now on top of you, kissing you passionately as he lined himself up with your tight entrance, pushing his cock in right to the hilt, earning a long moan from you and a deep guttural moan from Kenny too.

"Oh shit, you're tight, baby. Feel so good." Kenny panted, snapping his hips back and forth, earning a mantra of moans to escape your bruised lips, your back arched against his mattress.

"Kenny, fuck you're big!" You just about managed as the head of Kenny's cock hit off your g-spot, a long string of moans coming from you, causing Kenny to smirk in response.

"Yeah? You take my cock so well, Princess. Fuck yes!" Kenny groaned, his pace quickening as he threw both your legs over his shoulder, driving his cock deeper into you.

"K-Kenny!" Your moans were loud, and high pitched, and perfectly complimented Kenny's low, deep moans and grunts, god he hadn't had pussy this good in his entire life, and he swore this was better than heaven.

"Can feel you gettin' close, you gonna cum for me, slut?" He grunted, his pace quickening again, your breath caught in the back of your throat, nodding your head yes, unable to get any words out.

"Do it then, cum round my cock, baby." Kenny whispered, his thumb moving down to rub your clit in time with his thrusts, and that was it for you, the knot in your stomach came undone for the second time of the evening, your back arching, eyes wide, and hands desperately gripping the bed sheets beneath you.

"K-Kenny!" Your pussy was pulsing around Kenny's cock, your orgasm even stronger than the last one, his last few thrusts becoming sloppier and deeper, and he pushed his cock in to the hilt for the final time.

"Fuck, Y/N, yes!" Kenny moaned, coming deep within you, both of you moaning at the feeling and the over sensitivity of both of you.

And after a few minutes trying to catch your breaths, Kenny pulled out of you, watching his cum drip from your pussy, and he bit his lower lip at the sight.

"I'll go get a towel and help you clean up." Kenny said, leaving the room and quickly returning with a towel, two bottles of water and your phone which was left on the couch.

He handed you a bottle of water and threw his own on the bed, and gave you your phone as he helped you to clean yourself up, and then he crawled into bed beside you, a content smile on his face, resting his head on your breast, and gazing up at you.

"That was the best sex I think I've ever had, Kenny." You spoke, and Kenny grinned at your comment, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively as he spoke.

"There's plenty more where that came from for you, Princess." Kenny said, as you leaned into the feeling of you running your hands through his blonde locks, a sigh of relaxation escaping his still red lips.

"You think maybe I can um... take you on a date some time?" Kenny asked, and you laughed at his slightly embarrassment in asking you, before placing a soft kiss on his lips once more.

"Of course, Kenny. And I'll stay the night too." And just like that, the two of you sat up for hours, chatting till the birds sang, smoking joints together, giggling and making out.

Whoever thought a night out could bring two soul mates together, huh?

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as-de-spadas · 1 year

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Ok so Grian has been a:

-Watcher

-Hermit

-Emperor

-Time Traveller

-Poultry Man

-Sherlock Grian

-Ariana Grande

-News reporter

-Actor

-Puppeteer

-Train driver(?)

-Millionaire

-Grianch

-Mother Spore

-Resistance Leader

-Hippie

-Murderer

-G-Team Leader

-Prankster

-Housewife

-Builder

-Dragon Bro

-Mooner

-Interdimensional Traveller

-Trapmaster

-Robot Creator

-Soulmate

-SECRET Soulmate

-MCC Champion

-Mayoral Advisor (twice)

-Marketing executive (also twice)

-Soulless

-Southerner

-CuteGuy

-Architech

-Boatem member

-Hobbit

-Winner of wars

-Event organizer

-Open Mic Night comedian

-Bald

-A bdubs stan

-Sahara's one of three flaws

-THE BIGGEST MUMBO STAN

-The Phantom Menace

-A "proffesional" golf player

-Pesky Bird

And noone seems to think that's AWESOME??????

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jgthirlwell · 4 months

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2023 Year In Review

This year once again I invited some friends and colleagues to reflect on 2023

JG Thirlwell Composer Foetus Xordox Manorexia Steroid Maximus Venture Bros Archer

2023 was an intense year. The year began with the premiere of my symphony for Alarm Will Sound and ended with guesting vocalizing with Dinosaur Jr on some Stooges classics. I completed the final season of Archer. Wrote a lot of material for new Xordox and Foetus albums. Released an album of string quartets and scored a Venture Bros movie. Worked with some great singers and premiered my Ensemble project in London. I spent several months traveling and set up a small studio in Melbourne for a bit. Road tripped through NZ with my partner, Dora. I played some excellent shows in London, Colchester, Auckland, Wellington, Melbourne and Sydney. I still woke up 5am in a panic on too many occasions. And I saw some great concerts.It was difficult to whittle down this list but here are a lot of albums I enjoyed in 2023, in no particular order.

Albums

Poil Ueda Yoshitsune (Dur et Doux) Poil Ueda - Poil Ueda (Dur et Doux) Genevieve Artadi Forever Forever (Brainfeeder) Knower - Knower Forever (Brainfeeder) Ultraphauna No No No No (Dur Et Doux) Gahlmm Break A Leg (GEIGER Grammofon) Oneohtrix Point Never Again (Warp) Lankum - False Lankum (Rough Trade) Evian Christ Revanchist (Warp) Chromb Cinq (Dur et Doux) Deskartes A Kant After Destruction (Cleopatra) Gazelle Twin Then You Run (Original Score) L’Rain I Killed Your Dog (Mexican Summer) Loraine James Gentle Confrontation (Hyperdub) Royal Blood Back To The Water Below (Warner) John Luther Adams Darkness and Scattered Light (Cold Blue) Catherine Christer Hennix Solo for Tamburium (Blank Forms) Rachel Fannan Bjork Impersonations (Instagram) Regal Worm Worm! (Quatermass) Wild Up Julius Eastman Vol. 3: If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Rich? (New Amsterdam) PJ Harvey I Inside the Old Year Dying (Partisan) Poppy I Disagree (Sumerian) Sparks The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte (Island) Queens Of The Stone Age In Times New Roman (Matador) Time Wharp Spiro World (Leaving) Murderpact Ultraheaven (Bandcamp) RVG Brain Worms (Our Golden Friend) HMLTD - The Worm (Lucky Number) Catarina Barbieri - Myuthafoo (Editions Mego) Ligeti Quartet and Anna Meredith - NUC (Mercury KX) Mandy Indiana I’ve Seen a Way + EP(FireTalk) Kate NV WOW (RVNG) Kelly Moran Vesela EP (Warp) Kurws Powiez / Fascia (Korobushka) Fever Ray Radical Romantics (Mute) Netherlands Severance (Svart) Tim Hecker No Highs (Kranky) Bohemian Flesh Bohemian Flesh (Ojet) Pure Adult II (FatCat) Model/Actriz - Dogsbody (True Panther Sounds) Laurel Halo - Atlas (Awe) Water From Your Eyes - Everyones Crushed (Matador) Moritz Von Oswald - Silencio (tresor) REZZETT Meant Like This (Trilogy Tapes) Jess Johnson and Simon Ward 'Terminus' Virtual Reality exhibition at the Museum in Dunedin NZ.

Books

Naomi Klein Doppelganger Graham Rayman and Reuven Blau Rikers : An Oral History Thurston Moore Sonic Life Malcolm Gladwell The Bomber Mafia Tony Cohen Half Deaf, Completely Mad Brett Anderson Coal Black Morning Book Wesley Doyle Conform To Deform Primo Levi Survival in Auschwitz

Films + TV

Beef Barry Fargo The YouTube Effect Mutiny In Heaven Beau Is Afraid In The Court Of The Crimson King Oppenheimer

Concerts

01.28.23 Kodak Quartet performed at the Jack Studio Festival Event at The New School, performing a work by Khyam Allami and a stunning rendition of Ligeti’s String Quartet No 1. 02.21.23 Pure Adult opened for Gilla Band at Brooklyn Made and both were excellent! 02.22.23 Clown Core (featuring Louis Cole on drums and keys) Elsewhere in NYC. 03.02.23 Laurie Anderson performs at a drone event anchored by Lou’s guitar generating feedback drones, on the occasion of Lou Reed’s birthday .Other musicians joining the drone included Shazad Ismailey, Steven Bernstein, Stan Harrison, Briggan Krauss and more. 03.09.23 Michael Byron’s new work In One Second There Will Be A Thousand Plateaus Perhaps for two pianos and small orchestra featuring pianists Joseph Kubera and Steve Beck with Petr Kotik conducting members of the S.E.M. Ensemble. At Roulette Intermedium. 04.04.23 Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs brought the rock power and played an intense and triumphant show at Mercury Lounge to end their first US tour. 04.08.23 Amarcord Nino Rota, a reimagining of the Hal Willner’s Nino Rota tribute album, at Roulette Intermedium. 05.03.23 Genevieve Artadi played a grreat set at Public Records in Brooklyn to support her new album Forever Forever, with Louis Cole on drums. 05.27.23 Gloryhammer at Irving Plaza. Saw them in Melbourne too. 06.27.23 Sparks played a brilliant show at the Beacon Theater in NYC and I also caught them at Palais Theater in St Kilda, Melbourne, Australia on 10.26.23 07.04.23 75 Dollar Bill at Union Pool 08.20.23 BeatFox . Incredible luck to see this guy busking on Brick Lane. 08.21.23 The very wonderful Deerhoof at The Lafayette in London 08.22.23 clipping. played a killer show at Outernet in London 08.23.23 The incredible Poil Ueda from Lyon, France played in London at the Lexington + Lost Crowns 08.24.23 Swans played an epic set at The Troxy in Londo 09.24.23 TENGGER played an amazing set at the Art Gallery of NSW. 10.06.23 Fuji|||||||||||ta at Tempo Rubato in Melbourne, Australia. 10.07.23 RVG played a killer show to a packed house at Northcote Theatre in Melbourne, Australia 10.17.23 Chloe Sobek at Make It Up Club in Melbourne Australia. 10.21.23 Paul McCartney at Marvel Stadium in Melbourne Australia 10.28.23 Sarah Mary Chadwick at Wesley Anns as part of The 86 Super Saturday Festival 10.28.23 Party Dozen from Sydney played a great set at The 86 Super Saturday Festival in Melbourne Australia. 11.10.23 Devon Townsend played a beautiful, brutal and ecsatic show in Melbourne Australia at the Forum. 12.06.23 Ashley Bathgate and percussion sextet Mantra Percussion performed Matt McBane’s Topography at National Sawdust in NYC.

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Michel Langevin (aka Away/Voïvod)

My coups de coeur in 2023: TV Series: The Last of Us Music: The Damned - Darkadelic Godflesh - Purge Crown Lands - Fearless Gong - Unending Ascending Soft Machine - Other Doors Best show: KISS End of the Road World Tour in Montréal on Nov 18th Best Moments: -Recording and touring the new Voïvod album, Morgöth Tales, celebrating the 40th anniversary of the band -Celebrating my 60th birthday on stage in Lyon on the Voïvod/Testament Euro tour -Jason Newsted joining the band on stage in Fort Lauderdale, USA -Eric Forrest joining the band on stage at Hellfest, France

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Lydia Lunch

https://www.lydia-lunch.net/

“Time-one long second that goes on forever” So enjoy it motherfuckers!

BOOKS

Love the World or Get Killed Trying Alvina Chamberland Mother Howl Craig Clevenger Nein, Nein, Nein! : One Man's Tale of Depression, Psychic Torment, and a Bus Tour of the Holocaust Jerry Stahl Mystic Debris Justin Gradin Niagara, NY Ric Royers The Pale-Faced Lie : A True Story David Crow The Conspiracy Against the Human Race: A Contrivance of Horror Thomas Ligotti The Field: The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe Lynne McTaggert Yuval Noah Harari Box Set (Sapiens, Homo Deus, 21 Lessons for 21st Century) Season of the Witch Cathi Unsworth Every word John Tottenham utters or writes

TOURS with Sylvia Black & Gregg Foreman, Joseph Keckler, Marc Hurtado (tribute to Alan Vega & Suicide), Ian White, Kevin Shea (Sinister Impulse), Tim Dahl & Matt Nelson (Murderous Again)

Workshop & Performance Badass Babes of Burlesque w Rita D’Albert Zebulon LA

Workshop at the University of New Mexico thanks to Greg Moss

Reading with Zoe Hansen & Ron Athey at The Philosophical Research Center LA Reading with Eugene Robinson Makeout Room SF

Finishing the documentary with Jasmine Hirst Artists - Depression, Anxiety, and Rage and premiering it in Italy

Meeting butuh Queen Azumi OE and discussing up coming performances together with Tim Dahl

Completing the 233 episode of The Lydian Spin with Tim Dahl

FUN

Nights in London & Brighton spent with Nick Soulsby, Cathi Unsworth, Billy Chainsaw, Chris Bohn, Jack Sargeant, Pam Hogg,

Tina Kit (opened for my Suicide tribute in London & Brighton) best new band of suited and booted bad boys

Squired around Europe by Sebastien Greppo, a man like no other - who so lightens my burden…

Watching every episode of The Dark Side of The Ring with Kevin Shea

Training squirrels, levitating objects, saving lives, screaming into the void.

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Mike Berdan

(Uniform) https://uniform-nyc.com/

ALBUMS

Lankum - False Lankum

Surgeon - Crash Recoil

Ryuichi Sakamoto - 12

Fellwinter - The Dawn Of Winter

Abysmal Lord - Bestiary Of Immortal Hunger

Death Kneel - Dawn Simulation

Shit And Shine - 2222 And Airport

Carnivorous Bells - Room Above All

Agonal Lust - Mankind Is A Talisman Of Misfortune

Godflesh - Purge

FIRST-TIME READS

A History Of Violence (1973) - David Cotner

Someone Who Isn't Me - Geoff Rickly

Your Dreams - Thomas Moore 4. In A Lonely Place - Karl Edward Wagner

Burn You The Fuck Alive - B.R. Yeager

The Holy Day - Christopher Norris

A Collapse Of Horses - Brian Evenson

The Devil Thinks I'm Pretty - Charlene Elsby

Let's Go Play At The Adams' - Mendal W. Johnson

Counterillumination - Audrey Szasz

MOVIES

Godzilla Minus One

CIGARS

Cohiba Magico Maduro Petit Robusto

God Of Fire Serie B Double Robusto

Padron Family Reserve no. 95 Maduro Petit Gordo

El Pulpo Toro

Tatuaje Reserva J21 Broadleaf Robusto

Atabey Benditos Double Corona

Romeo y Julieta Línea de Oro Nobles

H. Upmann Half Corona

Foundation Cigars The Tabernacle Robusto

OpusX Eye Of The Shark

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Mario Diaz deLeon (composer, Luminous Vault, Bloodmist)

ALBUMS Evita Manji - Spandrel? Eartheater - Powders Slowspin - Talisman Marta DePascalis - Sky Flesh Kalia Vandever - We Fell in Turn Eraldo Bernocchi + Hoshiko Yamane - Sabi JakoJako - Verve Surgeon - Crash Recoil Cavalera - Morbid Visions / Bestial Devastation Bell Witch - The Clandestine Gate Steve Lehman + Orchestre National de Jazz - Ex Machina

SONGS Kelly Moran - Vesela Vines - I Don’t Mind Cybotron - Maintain Barker - Birmingham Screwdriver VMO - Supergaze Omar Hisham - Adhan (Be Heaven)

EVENTS New Firmament: MONAD - Roulette Peter Evans: Being and Becoming - Roulette Anna Sperber: Amplifier - Roulette 20 Years of Shinkoyo - Roulette Anthony Braxton + Wolf Eyes - Pioneer Works Caterina Barbieri - Pioneer Works Felipe Lara + Claire Chase + Esperanza Spaulding + NY Phil TAK Ensemble: Swoonfest - The Clemente Center Kayo Dot: Choirs of The Eye - MilkBoy Cecilia Vicuña / Raven Chacon - The Poetry Project Krallice / Indocrithere / Geryon / Ocrilim - Saint Vitus Cavalera: Morbid Devastation - Irving Plaza Hulder / Blackbraid / Aeviterne - Le Poisson Rouge Eartheater / Concrete Husband - Elsewhere

BOOKS Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz - An Indigenous Peoples History of the United States

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Alexander Tucker (Microcorps)

I started off the year by releasing a project very close to my heart: Fifth Continent, a collaboration with the late Keith Collins, partner and collaborator of film maker and artist Derek Jarman. The album was partially recorded in Jarman’s cottage in the desert-like landscape of Dungeness, on the South East coastline of Kent, in the UK, with elements constructed from Collins own spoken word pieces, and environmental recordings. The album was released on James Ginzberg’s Subtext label, and we also produced Fifth Quarter, an anthology publication of writing, recollections, photography and newly commissioned artworks about Jarman, Collins and Dungeness.

Although I probably made more music than usual this year, and had a greater focus than ever on the various projects I have underway, 2023 felt like a weird and often frustrating year for me and music. About five years ago I set about teaching myself modular systems, experimenting, and recording the results as I went along. This culminated in a new solo guise primarily for electronics and the synthesis of voice and acoustic instruments, MICROCORPS (the debut album Xmit came out on Alter records in 2021). Using these systems is at the same time liberating and incredibly frustrating. For a while this year nothing felt good enough: I could feel the potential of my ideas glimmering in the distance but was unable to catch up with them. I decided to take a short break from the modular, and focused upon compositions for cello, saxophone, and clarinet. But the pull of electronics is never far, so I began processing these recordings, using granular synthesis to stretch, mutate and reorganise the audio into new pieces. As soon as you want more from your practice and yourself, things can become more laborious - it’s difficult to be in the moment and focus on what’s in front of you. I used to be happy with the immediate effects I produced, but I think this is being replaced by a different approach, something more considered, which is exciting and, in some ways, sobering - even if the results are far from what you would describe as sober. I’m also so lucky to have many friends and fellow artists around me to offer help and suggestions, to whom I’m eternally grateful. As R.Crumb says, “Keep on truckin”.

Music I dug this year: Godflesh - Purge (Avalanche Recordings) Rắn Cạp Đuôi - *1 (nhạc_gay) Mun Sing - Inflatable Gravestone (Planet Mu) RS Tangent - When A Worm Wears A Wig (The Trilogy Tapes) Arnold Dreybaltt And The Orchestra Of Excited Strings - Resolve (Drag City) Elvin Brandhi and Lord Spikeheart - Drunken Love (Hakuna Kulala) Mark Fell and Will Guthrie - Infoldings / Diffractions (NAKID) Afrorack - The Afrorack (Hakuna Kulala) Kinn - Dogtooth (First Light Records) General Magic - Nein Aber Ja (GoTo Records)

Live shows: Emptyset - Village Underground Elvin Brandhi - IKLECTIK Mick Harris/FRET – Downwards’ 30th, Centrala Mun Sing, Crys Cole, Penelope Trappes - Boundaries Festival Maxwell Sterling - Cafe OTO Pole - EartH Nik Colk Void - Too many to count! Phew - Cafe OTO Residency Acid Horse Festival Devo - Hammersmith Apollo Kinn - New Cross Road Baptist Church

Comics: In 2023 I produced a new issue of my ongoing oblique and nonlinear comic series, Entity Reunion. For this issue I drew upon my love of HP Lovecraft, using the repetition of the comic format to peel back layers of the everyday to reveal omnipotent entities underlying all reality. The viewpoint of each page is from the point of view of the protagonists, who hold an electronic device, photographing their surroundings only to capture the blurred features of some insidious face. There are also references to Lovecraft’s own fictional grimoire the Necrononmicon. I wanted that dreamlike sensation of being the protagonists of the dream but also viewing yourself as separate entity.

Books: I read nearly all of Patrica Highsmith’s ‘Ripley’ books, a bunch of John Le Carré novels, Mark Kermode’s book on The Exorcist and I’m currently working my way through the spy novelist Eric Ambler’s books. I also re-read Bruce Robinson’s analysis on Jack the Ripper and Victorian society, ‘They All Love Jack’.

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Tom Chiu (composer, Flux Quartet)

2 0 2 3 IN REVIEW

Albums Worth Exploring (including a couple entries from 2022 that I discovered late)

Bar Italia Tracey Denim (Matador)

Blur Ballad Of Darren (Parlophone)

Bush Tetras They Live In My Head (Wharf Cat)

Death Valley Girls Islands In The Sky (Suicide Squeeze)

Dummy Mono Retriever (Sub Pop)

Duster Remote Echoes (Numero Group)

En Attendant Ana Principia (Trouble In Mind)

Everything But the Girl Fuse (Verve)

Horse Lords Comradely Objects (RVNG)

Kelela Raven (Warp)

Lael Neale Star Eaters Delight (Sub Pop)

Lana Del Rey Do You Know That There's A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd (Interscope)

Lewsberg Out And About (12XU)

Munya Jardin (Luminelle)

Slowdive Everything Is Alive (Dead Oceans)

Sweeping Promises Good Living Is Coming For You (Sub Pop)

Wednesday Rat Saw God (Dead Oceans)

Yo La Tengo This Stupid World (Matador)

Night at the Movies

Poor Things Past Lives Monster

Recurring Personal FAVES

FAVE Sandwich: Mekelburg's Clinton Hill, Brooklyn

FAVE Burger: Two8Two Bar & Burger, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn

FAVE Craft Beer Brewery Omnipollo (Sweden), brewed at Twelve Percent Beer Project, North Haven, CT

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Pierre Cerrato

Producer - Editor Floyd County Productions (Archer)

Favorite Movies/TV Archer Season 14 The Last of Us Gen V Beef This Fool Season 2 Fargo Season 5 Primo (Amazon Prime Show) The Bear Season 2 Episode Barry Season 4

Favorite Records I listened to a lot of music but these were in constant rotation. Some are from last year but what is time and who cares?

Boris/Uniform - Bright New Disease (2023) Birds in Row - Gris Klein (2022) Fleshwater - We Are Not Here to Be Loved (2022) Asunojokei - Islands (2022) Everything But the Girl - Fuse (2023) Night Owls - Versions (2022)

Honorable mention Boris - Feedbacker (2003) this was my introduction to Boris. This year is the 20 year anniversary of its release. Roberto Carlos Lange shared it with me one day while at work. He said it was something he thought I would like. Blew my mind and I have been a fan ever since.

Favorite Concerts The Cure - State Farm Arena - also saw The Cure at Riot Fest but this was better of the 2. I regret not going to Night 2 in Atlanta because they played Disintegration. H20 - Riot Fest 2023 Set Fleshwater - Riot Fest 2023 Set Future Islands - Shakey Knees 2023 Set The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Shakey Knees 2023 Set Converge / Brutus - The Masquerade Drain / Drug Church - The Masquerade Donny Benet - Terminal West Idles - Re:Set 2023 Set

Favorite Food

MF Sushi - Atlanta - went twice and each time it was a special occasion. Heirloom Market BBQ - Atlanta - best BBQ in my neck of the woods. The Aviary - Chicago - specialty cocktails with spectacular presentation. Cafe Tola - Chicago - best empanadas i've ever had in my life. Selva Negra - Miami - a solid contender for Nica food. Jaguar - Miami - great vibes, service and ceviche! No Hard Feelings - Chatanooga - great cocktails and vibes!

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Zachary Lipez

(editor at large of Creem Magazine, writer, singer of Publicist UK)

Music I made a (very) long list on my wildly popular blog, Abundant Living. But, for kicks and with the understanding that maybe you don’t feel like reading (or subscribing to) my wildly popular blog, here’s some stuff I included and some stuff I forgot (with particular attention paid to albums I think might be of particular interest to JG friends/fans but which may have slipped through the radar) (meaning: I mainly put the stuff that wasn’t on too many other lists). Fatboi Sharif Decay (Backwoodz) Skech185 He Left Nothing for the Swim Back (Backwoodz) Zohra Murder In The Temple (American Dreams) The Native Cats The Way On Is The Way Off (Chapel) Geese 3D Country (Partisan) Gold Dime No More Blue Skies (No-Gold) Algiers Shook (Matador) EXEK The Map and the Territory (Foreign) Skinhead Everything Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt (Closed Casket) Débruit & Alsarah Aljawal الجوال (Soundway) Fairytale Shooting Star (Toxic State) Among The Rocks and Roots Pariah (Cacophonous Revival) Full of Hell, Nothing When No Birds Sang (Closed Casket) Uniform & Boris Bright New Disease (Sacred Bones) Sleaford Mods UK Grim (Rough Trade) Money&King Act Unnaturally (self released) Blu Anxxiety Morbid Now, Morbid Later (Toxic State) Nana Benz du Togo AGO (Komos) Citric Dummies Zen and the Arcade of Beating Your Ass (Feel It) Ghösh Prismassive (Ramp Local) Peasdez Fenomenologia Del Espiritu Agonico: De La Existencia Sordida Al Pendulo De La Nada (SPHC) Upper Wilds Jupiter (Thrill Jockey) Death Valley Girls Islands In The Sky (Suicide Squeeze) Raphael Rogiński Talán Body Void Atrocity Machine (Prosthetic) Feeling Figures Migration Magic (Perennial) Ryan Davis & the Roadhouse Band Dancing on the Edge (Sophomore Lounge) Nosaj from New Kingdom & steel tipped dove House of Disorder (Fused Arrow Records) mclusky unpopular parts of a pig / the digger you deep (self released) Advertisement Escorts (Feel It) King Vision Ultra Shook World (hosted by Algiers) (PTP)

Live Shows that Stand Out In My Memory Moor Mother/Armand Hammer/The Caretaker/Raphael Roginski for the Unsound Fest at Lincoln Center (I covered this for The Quietus if yr interested) Sleaford Mods at Coachella (profiled them for CREEM) Lydia Lunch/Zohra at St.Vitus Lydia Lunch Retrovirus last American show ever (?) at TV Eye Various skinhead/nü oï bands at the Monarch/TV Eye etc. with Liberty & Justice being the standout Son Rompe Pera at TV Eye Chisel (the Ted Leo outfit, not the neo-bootboy band with the “the” in their name) at LPR

BOOKS My phone has pretty much eliminated my ability to read. I did read the first 100 pages of more books than I care to admit. I finally finished Mark Andrews’ Paint My Name In Black and Gold: The Rise of the Sisters of Mercy and I recommend it if, like me, you think The Sisters of Mercy are better than the Beatles (or whatever inane comparison annoys your friends the most). I also discovered Gene Wolfe and read the first book in the Book of the New Sun trilogy. Otherwise, it’s pretty much been just using Louise Glück poetry as inspiration to write terrible versions of Louise Glück poetry.

TV Doom Patrol Pokerface Rick and Morty (idc idc idc idc) HasanAbi twitch stream A ludicrous amount of Britbox mysteries and—passively, yes, but not without a fair amount of emotional investment—various Real Housewife shows/spinoffs

Movies Didn’t watch any new movies this year but I did have a lot of youtube videos playing in the background while I did other things, and sometimes those videos would be three hour long screeds about what was wrong with a number of movies I’d never heard of. So I feel like I got the gist.

LIFE Converted to Islam and married Zohra in January. Both choices have proven to be rewarding as all hell. Cashing in my “as a Jew I…” argument card—while simultaneously being too new a Muslim to reasonably claim either special knowledge and/or marginalization status—has really fucked with my ability to be self-righteous online. But the love that Zohra and her family have shown me has more than made up for my newfound inability to really wipe the floor with a motherfucker in the instagram comments. In fact, I liked marrying Zohra so much that I did it again in December (first time was a religious ceremony, the second time was our rendering to Caesar etc). If you know me/us and weren’t invited to either that’s because essentially no one was. As my parents couldn’t attend (on account of being dead) I didn’t really see the point of a big party. That was perhaps selfish. We love you (probably) and will have some sort of to-do in 2024.

Otherwise, I am still very much enjoying working for the new CREEM Magazine (please subscribe) and doing my newsletter (please subscribe). Musically, I lived vicariously through Zohra and the release of her first solo album. Murder In The Temple, with amazing production by Ben Greenberg and contributions by Lydia Lunch, is a synthesis of so many of Zohra’s obsessions. It’s unlike anything in the post-goth-dark-whatever sphere and I can’t express how proud I am of it and her. As for my music, I did some neat-o Scientists-esque stuff with Telematics (Sohrab Habibion, Robert Austin, and Alexis Fleisig) and Zohra and I did a Sheer Terror cover in the style of Tindersticks to commemorate Paul Bearer’s marriage. Also, I’m pretty sure my most successful band (Publicist UK) got dropped by our label (apparently taking eight years to finish a demo is a long time) so get at me if you have a low-to-mid tier label and want to put out an album of eight minute gothic metal songs with zero mosh parts, about an aging hipster loving his wife and cats and missing his dead mom and dad. C’mon, do it. You’d be printing money.

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Jim Siegel

Vivid Oblivion

Records And Other Things I Liked In 2023

Lankum - False Lankum (Rough Trade)

Milford Graves with Arthur Doyle and Hugh Glover - Children Of The Forest (Black Editions Archive)

Nakibembe Embaire Group (Nyege Nyege Tapes)

Henning Christiansen - Mediterranean Music-Water (Holidays)

Alain Goraguer - La Planete Sauvage (Expanded) (Decca)

Phill Niblock - Boston III (Alga Marghen)

Sam McLoughlin & David Chatton Barker - The Heavenly Realms (Folklore Tapes)

Svitlana Nianio & Tom James Scott - Eye Of The Sea (Skire)

Half Mortal - Creature Of Christ (Hospital Productions)

Pharoah Sanders - Pharoah box (Luaka Bop)

Ragnar Johnson & Jessica Mayer - Spirit Cry Flutes And Bamboo Jews Harps From Papua New Guinea (Ideologic Organ)

PJ Harvey - I Inside The Old Year Dying (Partisan)

Jana Winderen - The Blue Beyond (Touch)

Rezzett - Meant Like This (The Trilogy Tapes)

Arsenije Jovanovic - Sailboat Galiola Nuria's Unfinished Logbook (Pentiments)

Only Voices Vol. 1 + 2 (DDS)

Wounded Son - Pain Is All I Have For You (Hospital Productions)

Various - Cease & Resist: Sonic Subversion & Anarcho Punk In The UK 1979-1986 (Optimo Music)

Umeko Ando - Upopo Sanke (Pingipung)

Philip Jeck & Chris Watson - Oxmardyke (Touch)

Lori Vambe - Space-Time Dreamtime: The Four Dimensional Music Of Lori Vambe (Strut)

Mozart Estate - Pop-Up! Ker-Ching! And The Possibilities Of Modern Shopping (West Midlands)

Sandwell District - Feed Forward box (The Point Of Departure)

Japan Blues - Japan Blues Meets The Dengie Hundred (DDS)

Various - A Web Of Braided Willow - The Folklore Of The Wickerman (Folklore Tapes)

Surgeon - Crash Recoil (Tresor)

Mark Glynne And Bart Zwier - Home Comfort (La Scie Doree)

Ariel Kalma - French Archives Vol. III 1964-89 (Black Sweat)

Marginal Consort - 06 06 16 (St Elisabeth Kirche, Berlin) (901 Editions)

Brendan Perry - Eye Of The Hunter / Live At The I.C.A (4AD)

The Complete Obscure Records Collection box (Dialogo)

Various - Avant Garde 21xCD Box (Deutsche Grammophon)

Bill Nace Live at Public Records, December 2023

The Elephant 6 Recording Co. Documentary

Squaring The Circle - The Story Of Hipgnosis

Shame And Dignity with Stanley Schtinter and Sukhdev Sandhu at UnionDocs, NY November 2023

Godland, dir. Hlynur Palmason

Wawa Pretzel w/ Melted Cheese (Sandwich)

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Simon Karis

(CEO of Nice Music, recording artist)

Okay so fave releases of 2023

Absurd Cosmos Late Nite 'These Magic Clothes Don't Play Themselves' (Reseach Laboratories) Actress 'LXXXVIII' (Ninja Tune) Armand Hammer 'We Buy Diabetic Test Strips' (Fat Possum) Danny Brown 'Quaranta' (Warp) De-Bons-En-Pierre 'Card Short Of A Full Deck' (Dark Entries) Evian Christ 'Revanchist' (Warp) Eyes Of The Amaryllis 'Perceptible To Everyone' (Horn Of Plenty) Francis Plagne 'Into Closed Air' (Bison) Francis Plagne 'Udge' (Horn Of Plenty) Giuseppe Ielasi 'Down On Darkened Meetings' (Black Truffle) HHOST 'Windswept Italics' (Altered States Tapes) HHOST 'Veil' (Snail Editions) JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown 'Scaring The Hoes' (no label) Kassell Jaeger 'Shifted In Dreams' (Shelter Press) Khanate 'To Be Cruel' (Sacred Bones) Klein 'Doubt'/'Normani's Torment'/'STORM' (no label) L'Rain 'I Killed Your Dog' (Mexican Summer) Land's Air 'Land's Air' (Tone List) Locust 'The First Cause' (Mysteries Of The Deep) Low Flung 'The Wheel' (Snail Editions) Matt Harkin 'The Door Knocker' (no label) Nick Ashwood 'Inside The Body Of A Wave' (no label) Nuno Loureiro 'Lua Onus' (Super Pang) Patten 'Mirage FM' (555-5555) Pissed Jeans 'No Convenient Apocalypse' (Sub Pop) Princess Nokia 'I Love You But This Is Goodbye' (Arista) Red Wine & Sugar 'Turkish Coffee & Twice Baked Potatoes' (Chocolate Monk) Rezzett 'Meant Like This' (The Trilogy Tapes) Richard Youngs 'Modern Sorrow' (Black Truffle) Rory J S 'P' (no label) Rrose 'Please Touch' (Eaux) Solo Andata 'Slip Casting' (12k) WPH 'III' (no label) 100 Gecs '10,000 Gecs' (Dog Show/Atlantic)

fave back catalogue listens that made sense in 2023 Armand Hammer & The Alchemist 'Haram' (Backwoodz Studioz) Beherit 'H418ov21.C' (Spinefarm) Bernard Parmegiani 'De Natura Sonorum' (INA-GRM) Bowery Electric 'Beat' (Kranky) Charalambides 'Exile' (Kranky) Def Leppard 'Hysteria' (Mercury) Elastica 'Elastica' (Deceptive/Geffen) Elucid 'I Told Bessie' (Backwoodz Studioz) Emptyset 'Demiurge' (Subtext) Emptyset 'Recur' (Raster-Noton) Hematic Sunsets 'Musik Aus Dem Aroma Club' (Klang Der Festung) Joey Beltram 'Classics' (R&S) Ka 'Languish Arts' (Iron Works) Kim Cascone 'Cathodeflower' (Ritornell) The Kinks 'Lola Vs Powerman And The Moneygoround Part One' (Reprise/Pye) Kreator 'Terrible Certainty' (Noise International) Lol Coxhill & Morgan Fisher 'Slow Music' (Pipe/Aguirre) Low 'Hey What' (Sub Pop) Marsfield 'The Towering Sky' (Faraway Press) Massive Attack 'Mezzanine' (Virgin) Matt Harkin 'Sanctuary 1, 2015-2016' (Hobbies Galore) Maurizio Bianchi 'Endometrio' (no label/Dais) Moodymann 'Mahogany Brown' (Peacefrog) Moor Mother & billy woods 'Brass' (Backwoodz Studioz) Nearly God 'Nearly God' (4th & Broadway) Nightcrawlers '2031 AD' (no label) Richard Youngs 'Beyond The Valley Of The Ultrahits' (Sonic Oyster) Rita Revell 'I Had A Very Bad Time!' (Happy Endin') Roc Marciano 'Reloaded' (Decon) Seine Trance-Parenz Fredi Alberti 'Klaenge Aus Dem Engelsraum (Die Verdunklung Der Sonne Und Des Mondes)' (Scribble Art) Simbiosi 'Elements' (Werkdiscs) Suede 'Dog Man Star' (Nude) Valerio Tricoli 'Say Goodbye To The Wind' (Shelter Press) 100 Gecs '1000 Gecs' (Dog Show)

fave melbourne/naarm restaurants in 2023

Khabbay (Indian/Pakistani, Carlton) Laksa Village (Malaysian/Chinese, Donvale) Cinger Biang Biang (Dolan/Uyghur/Chinese, Carlton) Lim Kopi (Malaysian, Naarm/Melbourne CBD) Raya (South East Asian desserts, Naarm/Melbourne CBD) Taste Hunan (Hunan/Sichuan/Chinese, Naarm/Melbourne, CBD) Laksa House (Malaysian, Naarm/Melbourne, CBD)

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Brendon Randall-Myers

(composer, Scarcity, Marateck, Glenn Branca Ensemble)

If 2022 was the Return of the Show and the Return of Travel, 2023 was about Building Stability (i.e. making my teaching studio a primary income source), Hunkering Down to Finish Two Albums, and Re-Learning How to Be a Human Being. I also played a bunch of cool shows with Dither (collabs w/ Carla Kilhlstedt, Lee Ranaldo/Brian Chase, Amirtha Kidambi, AJ Santillan, and Laurie Spiegel; playing Electric Counterpoint on GFA), a couple fun Scarcity shows (playing with Liturgy, improvising on graphic scores by Anthony Hawley) and did some performances with Whimbrels and Contemporaneous.

These were albums I enjoyed (incessantly) at some point during 2023 that were mostly - but not exclusively - also released in 2023.

Agriculture - Agriculture Armand Hammer - We Buy Diabetic Test Strips Arnold Dreyblatt - Resolve Big Brave - Nature Morte Blackbraid - Blackbraid II Bummer - Dead Horse Caroline Polachek - Desire, I Want to Turn Into You goat (JP) - Joy in Fear Goldfeather - Change JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown - SCARING THE HOES Jute Gyte - Unus Mundus Patet KEN Mode - VOID Killing Joke - Night Time Krallice - Mass Cathexis 2 - The Kinetic Infinite Model/Actriz - Dogsbody Modern Nature - How to Live Nabihah Iqbal - Dreamer Neil Young - Greatest Hits Oren Ambarchi - Shebang Pink Pantheress - Heaven knows The Prodigy - The Fat of the Land Rid Of Me - Traveling Slowspin - Talisman Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream Swans - The Beggar Trauma Bond - Winter’s Light Tristan Kasten-Krause and Jessica Pavone - Images of One Victory Over the Sun - Dance You Monster To My Soft Song! Yaeji - With A Hammer

Here were some shows I attended:

Wolf Eyes + Raven Chacon @Union Pool Liturgy @TV Eye Gamelan Dharma Swara, Ridgewood Presbyterian Church Moor Mother @Merkin Hall Object Collection @The Brick Theater Spectral Wound @Saint Vitus Pyrrhon + Barrsheadahl @Saint Vitus The Smile @Forest Hills Stadium Krallice @Saint Vitus Mediaqueer @Windjammer Sarah Hennies + Tristan Kasten-Krause @Issue Project Room Peter and the Wolf @Guggenheim Model/Actriz @Music Hall of Williamsburg

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Grace Bergere

(songwriter / singer / performer)

This year was full of firsts for me!

Definitely the most musically eventful year of my life to date. I went on my first tour playing bass with my great friends in COP/OUT, supporting Days n' Daze (A band I'd been listening to for years as a young punk kid.) I immediately realized touring is really all I want to do. I also got to tour alongside Subhumans in Cop/Out. Meeting them and getting to know them was mind expanding. They were all kind and humble thoughtful individuals, completely down to earth and engaged with everyone they spoke to. Every night across the midwest they brought the crowd to a cathartic screaming euphoric mess. Working with COP/OUT, whose message is so clear; to be good to each other, question everything even when it means swimming upstream with every bit of strength you have, filled me with hope. Playing on that tour with them, and watching Subhumans every night reminded me the power of music to affect real social change which is something I believed to have been lost in recent years. I met my great friend Jessica Mills on that tour and we still talk all the time.

I also started playing guitar in The Art Gray Noizz Quintet. One of my longtime favorite bands (that my very talented cool boyfriend happens to play bass in.) We went all across the West Coast, landing in Las Vegas. Playing with them has demanded I advance as a guitarist, stepping into Andrea Sicco's shoes. Andrea is a complete beast of a musician and all of his musical projects are awesome. Check out MOVIE MOVIE, his most recent project.

I also joined Crazy And The Brains on second guitar. They’re a super fun high energy punk band. I love being around such positive fun loving musicians and watching them bounce around while I do my best to keep up.

I recently finished recording my album at HOBO SOUND in Hoboken by James Frazee. The time and effort it took over the several years since I started, was at times grueling. But James never stopped caring or checked out. He helped me shape this album into something I am truly proud of, along with Richard Dev Greene, one of the first people to ever believe in my music. I am so grateful to both of them.

I started spending time with Victoria and Kay of Puzzled Panther. They quickly have become two of my best friends. It is so meaningful for me to have found such badass, driven young women to share a dream with. Puzzled Panther is raw and hypnotizing. They have a unique strong hold over their audience and every show of theirs I’ve been to has been fantastic. Victoria has joined me a few times on a song at my shows, and every time I believe has been one of the strongest points in my set.

I Met Eugene Hutz of Gogol Bordello (the first huge band I ever went to see as a young teenager.) He will be releasing my upcoming single and video for “Come And Go” on his label Casa Gogol Records in early 2024.

I just played the biggest show I’ve ever played with my solo project that plays under my name. We were on a bill with Gogol Bordello and JON SPENCER (Also one of my favorite artists.) Being on that stage standing there in front of more people I’ve ever seen in an audience from that vantage point, I felt like every second of my life was leading to that moment. Each song brought me back to the time in my life when Id written it and it felt very much like watching my life projected in front of me. It was indescribably satisfying to be on that stage. Later, in the audience, I screamed along to Gogol and watched my mom dance to songs she'd heard me blasting through the house as a kid, and felt just as moved by them as I did as a young teenager the first time I saw them.

I am so grateful to be working with Eugene. He is kind and thoughtful in his feedback and hugely supportive of me and my dreams.

I will be playing New Years Eve with the Art Gray Noizz Quintet before Kid Congo Powers and The Pink Monkey Birds !!

This last week I can honestly say, has been the best of my life to date. Like looking out over a valley after climbing for years.

BEST SHOWS

(other than the ones I was lucky enough to play at listed above)

RICHARD DAWSON

I got to see Richard Dawson three whole times!!! it was his first US appearance. He is a completely unique force. I’ve never seen such a captivated crowd. we all cried and screamed along with him.

PIGS X 7

One of those times he was playing with Pigs x7. They quickly became another favorite band of mine despite having severe technical difficulties. it was actually kind of a highlight because their front man just started joking around and had the entire audience laughing along with him and talking for about 10 minutes. I got to see them two other times that went perfectly. What a band..

JON SPENCER AND THE HIT MAKERS

I saw them at TV Eye. I had been able to squeeze myself into the DJ booth for their set. They hammered away into some kind of magical hypnosis that made me feel like I'd taken MDMA. (I had not.) I had to lean against a wall to keep my balance. They played with Licks, a badass 60s garage rock inspired band fronted by my friend Skunk.

LYDIA LUNCH RETROVIRUS

Also driving and hypnotic and loud as hell. I was left with a similar feeling of having been dosed with something at all of their shows…

JOSEPH KECKLER

The first time I saw Joseph perform was at TV eye with Lydia Lunch. He’s completely unique. He writes gorgeous songs that he sings in an incomprehensibly wide range, sometimes in languages that he has invented himself! His seamlessly mixes humor with honest beautiful songwriting.

SONGS I LISTENED TO A BILLION TIMES THIS YEAR.

ART GRAY NOIZZ QUINTET- Lie Come True JOSEPH KECKLER- The Ride JON SPENCER AND THE HIT MAKERS- Death Ray GOGOL BORDELLO- Shot Of Solidaritine PUZZLED PANTHER- Smoke And The Mirrors We Broke PIGSX 7 - Reducer ARCHERS OF LOAF- Banging On a Dead Drum

OLDER HITS THAT WERE NEW TO ME

LAURIE ANDERSON- Poison POISON GIRLS- Fear Of Freedom CULTURE SHOCK- Things To Do CAPTAIN BEEFHEART- Tropical Hot Dog WARREN ZEVON- Desperados Under The Eves MINNIE RIPERTON- Les Fleurs BOBBY GENTRY - Ode To Billy Joe TOWNES VAN ZANDT- Highway Kind

BOOKS

Joseph Keckler- Dragon at the edge of a flat world. Mark Lanegan- Sing Backwards and Weep Miriam Toews- Fight Night

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Marc Urselli

producer / engineer / sound designer

I want to thank JG Thirlwell for inviting me to submit my 2023 Year in Review. I had never done one of these before and it's been a fun challenge to go through my calendar and social media to remember and realize how much I was able to pack into this year! Selecting and writing down all of these things also helped me further grasp and understand how tremendously privileged and lucky I am to be able to do what I love all year around, year after year, and to live my life to the fullest and according to my own wishes and my own design. I don't take this lightly and I don't take it for granted. I am very aware that it comes from hard work, limitless passion and unweavery dedication, not just luck and good fortune, but nevertheless I am grateful every single day for this life and for being healthy, being able to do all of this, and for all the people in my path who trust me, inspire me, support me, challenge me, and enlighten me!

STUDIO SESSIONS, ALBUMS & PRODUCTIONS When compiling this list, it really dawned on me how fortunate I am to be working with such incredible talents and how priviledged I am to be able to witness, participate and contribute to the creation of exceptional works such as the following:

Producing, Recording & Mixing sessions with David J of Bauhaus, Norwegian artist Ihsahn (of Emperor) & Toby Driver (of Kyao Dot), John Stanier (of Battles), Brian Chase (of Yeah Yeah Yeahs), Restless Spirit, Vicki Peterson (of the Bangles), John Cowsill (of the Cowsill Family and The Beach Boys touring band) and many others for my new RAMONES tribute album to come out next year on Magnetic Eye records

Producing, Recording and Mixing a cover of Soundgarden's song "4th of July" with my doom metal / throat singing project SteppenDoom for the Magnetic Eye album "Soundgarden (Redux) and featuring Matt Cameron of Soundgarden themselves on drums

seeing the release of Brian Carpenter's "Ghost Train Orchestra & Kronos Quartet - The Music of Moondog" album featuring Kronos Quartet (which I recorded at EastSide Sound) and many other amazing guest artists

Producing, Recording, Mixing, and Mastering a live album by Brazilian artists Zé Ibarra, Dora Morelenbaum and Julia Mestre of Bala Desejo for Glasshaus Presents & Tower Records

Mixing new albums by Glenn Max Vanderwolf (produced by Dennis Martin), by Bloodmist (Toby Driver, Mario Diaz De Leon, Jeremiah Cymermann), and by Ikue Mori & Zeena Parkins at EastSide Sound fully utilizing the analog console and the analog outboard gear (something nowadays is more and more rare)

Recording & Mixing 6 new albums by John Zorn this year alone, which brings my total JZ count to over 120 albums, and which as of this year can finally be heard on streaming platforms as well!

Recording and Producing a new album by Marco Cappelli's Italian-inspired band IDR at EastSide Sound in NYC and then going to Rome, Italy to overdub trombone and vocals with famed contemporary Neapolitan singer Raiz

Producing, Recording, Mixing, and Mastering 2 new albums by incognito jazz / blues artist Russell Orr with legendary Brian Marsella & Brian Mitchell on keys, respectively

Recording, Mixing, and Mastering two new albums by Jessica Pavone and her trio

Producing, Recording, Mixing and Mastering a "We Are the World"-type track for NYC Mayor's Office of Immigrant Affairs with a song composed by Captain Beefheart / Jeff Buckley's guitarist Gary Lucas and 10 other musicians from various parts of the world playing their local instruments and singing in their mother's tongue

Recording and Mixing the new album by Italian singer/songwriter Beppe Voltarelli, produced by Simone Giuliani, which took second place in Italy's Premio Tenco

Recording a new film score by composer Billy Martin (of Medeski, Martin & Wood) and arranged by Simon Hanes (of Tredici Bacci)

Producing, Recording, Mixing, and Mastering contemporary classical music sessions commissioned by Miller Theater and Columbia University with artists such as Laura Barger & Julia Den Boer, Miguel Zenon, Matt Mitchell & Miles Okazaki, Russell Greenberg & Vicky Chow

Recording new albums by contemporary classical/jazz musicians such as Miles Okazaki, Brian Drye, Anna Webber & Matt Mitchell and others Recording new albums by amazing Latin Jazz artists such as Gili Lopes, Homan Alvarez, Rodrigo Recabarren, Benjamin Furman

seeing the HBO release of John Lurie’s “Painting with John” new season where all the music was recorded & mixed by me and seeing my face briefly on TV

recording in an old church in Italy with Adriano Viterbini and Vincenzo Vasi for a project that will come out sometimes next year hopefully

SOUND DESIGN GIGS & LIVE SOUND MIXING GIGS Similarly to the list above, I am eternally greatful for the fact that all these wonderfully talented people trust me with designing, mixing and amplifying their sound so that the rest of the world can truly and fully experience their art in the most complete, sonically articulated, detailed and full spectrum way there is! Some of these highlights include:

Mixing a 90-piece orchestra + 90-piece choir playing the score to Stanley Kubrick "2001: A Space Odyssey" live-to-picture conducted by Brad Lubman in the Auditorio Nacional of Mexico City to a sold-out crowd of 10'000 people

Mixing the Grammy Award Premiere Ceremony in Los Angeles and being there to amplify and mix the immensely talented house band led by Cheche Alara and the performances by musicians such as Samara Joy, Anoushka Shankar, Arooj Aftab and more…

Mixing the Robbie Robertson tribute concert & memorial organized by Martin Scorsese at Village Studios in Los Angeles with artists such as Jackson Browne, Jason Isbell, Rocco DeLuca, Citizen Cope, Angela McCluskey, Blake Mills and Jim Keltner

Mixing the National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony concert at the White House with artists such as Dionne Warwick, Samara Joy, Joe Walsh of the Eagles, St. Vincent and others.

Sound Designing and Mixing the world premiere of "Perle Noire: Meditations for Joséphine" at the DNO Dutch National Opera House in Amsterdam, a beautiful performance/concert/opera directed by Peter Sellars, composed by Tyshawn Sorey and performed by Tyshawn Sorey and ICE International Contemporary Ensemble with soprano Julia Bullock

One of my sound design pieces inspired by Icelandic nature sounds and folklore was presented at the "Le Son 7" Art Gallery in Madrid between the 3rd and the 13th of May 2023, after it was presented the year before in London and will be presented in January 2024 in New York

mixing 12 shows by John Zorn in 2 days at Big Ears Festival in Knoxville TN

mixing more shows by John Zorn to celebrate his 70th birthday in places like Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, Miller Theater in New York, Reggio Emilia and Modena in Italy, Philharmonie in Paris, November Music Festival in Den Bosch Netherlands and Mexico City

Mixing Brian Carpenter's Ghost Train Orchestra live at Roulette with special guests David Byrne, Karen Mantler, Joan As Policewoman AND doing so right after I mixed another matinee gig earlier in the day with the New York Choral Society

working sound for the Met Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art with musical guests Lizzo and David Byrne

Mixing Claudia Acuna at Lincoln Center

mixing Idina Menzel's performance in Trafalgar Square in London for Gay Pride 2023

playing keys (something I almost never ever do!) for Japanese electronic artist Coppé's first-ever performance in Italy

mixing my first ever K-pop gig in Times Square NY

teaching Mixing Workshops at SAE in Mexico City and MOB Studios in Rome, Italy

RECORDS In no particular order, here are some of my favorite records of 2023 that I was not involved with but I wish I had been ;-)

Anohni and the Johnsons "My Back Was a Bridge for you to Cross"

Lil Yachty "Let's Start Here"

Boygenius "The Record"

Ryuichi Sakamoto "12"

Jaimie Branch "Fly or Die Fly or Die Fly or Die ((World War))"

Arooj Aftab / Vijay Iyer / Shahzad Ismaily "Love in Exile"

Peter Gabriel "I/O"

Hania Rani "Ghosts"

Meshell Ndegeocello "The Omnichord Real Book"

Bill Frisell "Four" - Ambrose Akinmusire, Bill Frisell, Herlin Riley "Owl song"

Porcupine Tree "Closure / Continuation"

Dr. John "The Brightest Smile in Town"

Spencer Zahn "Statues II"

Meshuggah "Chaosphere 25th anniversary 2023 Remastered edition"

Ennio Morricone "Segreto Songbook 1962-1973"

Sin Fang, Kjartan Holm "Angakok"

MUSIC SHOWS It's always hard for me to recount the shows I've seen because I usually see about 300-500 shows every year. LPR (Le Poisson Rouge) definitely shines through as my favorite venue and the one I've visited most often! Here are some of the highlights of 2023:

Spotlights, Imperial Triumphant, Puzzled Panthers at Saint Vitus

"La Splendida", a heavy metal opera by Laurent David & Kilter at Culture Lab LIC

Exotech 3 times, at Public Records, Mark Morris Dance Theater and at LPR

Tredici Bacci at least 2-3 times, one of which at Sultan Room

John Cale at Paradiso, Amsterdam

Plini at Melkweg, Amsterdam

Mary Halvorson Quintet at Bimhuis, Amsterdam

Thurston Moore at OCCII, Amsterdam

Jeff Goldblum at Town Hall

Xylorius White at LPR

Hal Willner's Amarcord tribute concert at Roulette

Snarky Puppy at Beacon Theater

Tim Bernardes at LPR

Groa at Taste of Iceland showcase at Pianos

JG Thirlwell & Mivos Quartet at National Sawdust

Bloodywood at Irving Plaza

Hermeto Pascoal twice, at Pioneer Works and LPR

Sexmob at Fotografiska

Grace Jones at Hammerstein Ballroom

Lisa Fisher at Blue Note

Iggy Pop and Debbie Harry / Blondie, London

Laurie Anderson & SexMob Let X=X at Barbican in London and BAM in Brooklyn - The Cult at MEDIMEX festival in Taranto, Italy - Tom Morello at MEDIMEX festival in Taranto, Italy

Emperor at Kings Theater

Ibrahim Malouff at Drom - Elan Mehler & Dave Douglas at Fotografiska

The Misfits at Prudential Center - Oumou Sangare at Brooklyn Bandshell

Red Fang at Gramercy Theater

The Eagles & Steely Dan at MSG - Tammy Faye Starlight at Joe's Pub

Julian Lage at Village Vanguard - Mdou Moctar at Summerstage

Makaya McCraven at Locus Festival, in Locorotondo Italy

Fatoumata Diawara at Locus Festival, in Locorotondo Italy

Sisters of Mercy at Cinzella Festival, in Grottaglie Italy

SunRa Arkestra at Locus Festival, in Locorotondo Italy

Robert Plant at Locus Festival, in Bari Italy

Mr. Bungle at Terminal 5

Melvins, Boris and all the other amazing bands at Desert Fest at Knockdown Center

Front Line Assembly at LPR

Peter Gabriel at MSG

Empire State Bastard at LPR & St Vitus

Cavalera Conspiracy at Irving Plaza

Swans at Music Hall of Williamsburg - Steven Bernstein w/ Millennial Territory at Dizzy's

Nick Cave & Jonny Greenwood 3 times, twice at Beacon Theater and once at Kings Theater

The Mission at LPR - Titan to Tychons at NuBlu

Dresden Dolls at Bowery Ballroom

Robert Glasper's Art Blakey tribute at Blue Note - Puzzled Panthers at Bowery Electric

Ghost Train Orchestra at Roulette

Arthur Brown in London

The Mongol Khan theater production at the Coliseum in London

8 Bit Big Band at Sony Hall

Bud Spencer Blues Explosion at Monk in Rome Italy

plus all the amazing artists I can't recall individually that I have seen at Winter Jazz Festival, Long Play Festival and Big Ears Festival

BOOKS I am sadly a slow reader and my pile of books on my bedside table is always bigger than the time awake I have when I finally do get to bed, but here are some I have read, or started to read or am planning on starting to read:

Kid Congo Powers "Some New Kind Of Kick"

Nick Cave & Seán O'Hagan "Faith, Hope and Carnage"

Warren Ellis "Nina Simone's Gum"

Rick Rubin "The Creative Act: A Way of Being"

Quincy Jones "12 Notes: On Life and Creativity"

Quincy Trouple "Miles & Me"

MUSEUMS I try to visit museums in every city I go to, whether I am on tour, working, traveling for pleasure or whatever the reason is… Art is my passion, my love and a way of life…

Museu Picasso, Barcelona, Spain

Fundcaio Joan Miró, Barcelona, Spain

The Salvador Dali Theater and Museum, Figueres, Spain

Salvador Dalí House / Fundació Gala, Cadaqués, Port Lligat, Spain

Park Gúell, Barcelona, Spain

Moco Museum, Barcelona, Spain

Sagrada Familia, Barcelona, Spain

Vermeer Exhibit, Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Moco Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Amsterdam Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Stedelijk Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Art on Paper, New York

Frieze, New York

Karl Lagerfled "A Line of Beauty", Metropolitan Museum of Art, NY

Yayoi Kusama "Infinity Mirror Rooms", Tate Modern, London, UK

Frida Kahlo & Diego Riviera House & Studio, Mexico City

Palacio De Bellas Artes, Mexico City

Museo Jumex, Mexico City

Museo Tamayo Arte Contemporanea, Mexico City

Paul Gugelmann "Poetic Machines", Aarau, Switzerland

MOVIES There are soooo many movies I still want to / need to see… I love movies but I prioritize work and live music in my life and I will only watch movies on planes, on (very very) rainy days or those rare times when I don't have a concert on my calendar, so here are a few of those rainy/non-concert films, in no particular order:

Killers of the Flower Moon (for the story, the acting and the soundtrack)

Equalizer 3 (because aside from its Hollywood-ish story and ending, it's a realistic look at how organized crime works in Italy)

Little Richard: I am Everything (for his story, his character, his music and his courage!)

Psychedelicized: The Electric Circus Stroy (for the amazing portrait of a time that's past but that changed NYC forever!)

American Symphony (for the amazing story, talent, spirit and courage of Jon Batiste)

32 Sounds (because my life is about sound…)

Hallelujah: Leonard Cohen, A Journey, A Song (because Leonard was an amazing artist and songwriter and singer and so many friends are in this movie)

Oppenheimer (because that history is so complex and so divided as the country in which it took place)

TRAVEL Travel is the richess of life! I travel SO MUCH that I am on a plane AT LEAST once a month and usually it is to an international location… This year was no different, so I've decided to only list 12 trips for this section:

January: Ringing in the year in a medieval tower in Barcelona and spending the first 4 days of the new year trying all the tapas bars, restaurants, food stands this beautiful city has to offer and seing the Sagrada Familia cathedral for the 3rd time in my life

February: Living in Amsterdam for 3 weeks visiting all the musuems, all the music venues and all the while working at the Dutch National Opera with some amazing folks (see list above)

March: Snowboarding the Swiss and the French alps

April: Visiting Knoxville Tennessee for Big Ears (easily the best independent music festival in the US!!!) for the 2nd time in 2 years, and hopefully the beginning of many more visits in the future!

May: Spending time in sunny Los Angeles and plotting a way to spend more time there and make music

June: Visiting London twice in one month to work and see amazing music shows, theater shows and art exhibits

July: coming back from London on July 6th only to realize that strangely there is no travel for the rest of this month! So weird and unusual!

August: Spending the month in Puglia, Southern Italy eating good food, kitesurfing in the Adriatic and Ionium sea, seeing tons of concerts and playing one myself!

September: arriving in Mexico City and getting my very own police escort motorcade to make it in time from the airport to the theater

October: On tour with John Zorn in Italy, France and the Netherlands

November: Flying to Los Angeles with a 36 hour notice for a concert I was hired for in secrecy having been told "we need a mixing engineer who can mix music for a room full of musicians" and showing up for the Robbie Robertson tribute orgnaized by Martin Scorsese with people like Joni Mitchell and Leonardo DiCaprio in attendance

December: DC-to-DF aka flying to Washgington DC to work at the White House and then flying straight to Mexico City I've finished the year with travel to my motherland of Switzerland, my fatherland of Italy and my second home of London UK!

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

DJ Food aka Kevin Foakes

Music: Kosmischer Laufer - Volume 5 LP (UCR) Soia, Julien Sénélas, Jérôme Vassereau - In C for 11 Oscillators and 53 Forms LP (unjenesaisquoi) Cate Brooks - Tapeworks DL (Cafe Kaput) Memorials - Music For Film: Tramps! LP (State 51 Conspiracy) King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - PetroDragonic Apocalypse… LP (Album of the year) Brian Eno - The Lighthouse radio station (Sonos) (most listened to) Niholoxica - Source of Denial LP (Crammed Discs) SareemOne - Olivine Window Coast Contra - Breathe & Stop Freestyle/Never Freestyle/Scenario Freestyle Move78 - Grains LP Heiroglyphic Being - The Moon Dance LP (Apnea) Raj Pannu - Past Crimes EP 12" (To Pikap Records) Gordon Chapman-Fox - The Nine Travellers LP (Castles In Space Subscription Library)

Gigs / Events: Beyond The Streets exhibition @Saatchi gallery, London Sunroof / Finlay Shakespeare @iklectik, London The Light Surgeons - The Consensual Hallucination @iklectik, London Memorials at the State 51 Summer Psych party @State 51, London FogFest2 @iklectik, London JG Thirlwell & Ensemble @Bush Hall, London Machina Bristronica, Bristol Visiting Peel Acres with Eilon Paz for Dust & Grooves Nihiloxia @the Jazz Cafe, London

Design / Packaging: Yves Malone - A Hello To A Goodbye LP (Castles In Space) Drumetrics - Phuzzle (Drumetrics) Waclaw Zimpel - Train Spotter LP (State 51) David Boulter - Factory 3" CD (Clay Pipe Music) Fluctuosa - Wetware EP 12" (Analogical Force) Fluxus - Orbit & Shine LP (Castles In Space) Floating Points - Birth4000 12" (Ninja Tune) Cate Brooks - Easel Studies LP + badge (Clay Pipe Music) Brian Eno - Top Boy OST CD (Beatink)

Books / Magazines / Comics: Medical Grade Music - Steve Davis & Kavis Torabi (White Rabbit) Doctor Strange - Fall Sunrise - Tradd & Heather Moore (Marvel) Tales To Enlighten - The New Testament - Matt King and James Edward Clark Pop - Milton Glaser (Phaidon) Kevin O'Neill Apex Edition (2000AD) Mark Stafford - Salmonella Smorgasbord (Soaring Penguin Press) Savage Impressions - Bruce Lichen (Independent Project Records) Hexagon Bridge - Richard Blake (Image) Monica - Daniel Clowes (Fantagraphics) Acid Valley - Luke Insect Petrol Head - Rob Williams & Pye Parr (Image) Lawless - Dan Abnett & Phil Winslade (Rebellion) Giant Robot Hellboy - Mignola/Fegredo (Dark Horse) Facelss & The Family - Matt Lesniewski (Oni Press)

Films: Barbie Squaring The Circle : The Story of Hipgnosis

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aceofstars16 · 6 months

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Just me blowing my own mind thinking about Gravity Falls again lol (or maybe more like “oh gosh that makes so much sense holy moley…”)

But here’s the thing….people always blame Ford’s pride on his reaction to Stan wanting to burn his journal. And while I agree to some extent, there is another reason for this intense reaction. Which I understand now more than when I first watched the show…

Soooo…the last time Ford saw Stan was right after he feels betrayed because he thinks Stan destroyed his project. His project, which he put so much time, effort, and work into. It was his ticket to a better future. And he believes that Stan did it on purpose, because he was so caught up in their old dream of sailing together. This would create a very painful memory, which I believe, especially with Ford not working through the emotions, is still a very sensitive “trigger” of a sorts for him.

Fast forward to the portal incident. Ford needs Stan’s help, desperately. He is reaching out despite the rift between them, because he doesn’t know what else to do. And he asks Stan to take his work, and hide it. Which to be fair, is already a big thing, because the last time Stan was around his work….he broke it (or so Ford believed). But THEN Stan doesn’t want to hide it, he wants to *destroy* it. Something that Ford, once again, put a lot of time, energy, and work into. To me, that similarity would trigger the pain and hurt that Ford felt when he was a teenager. Plus those emotions were probably increased more due to his huge lack of sleep and intense desperation for help in a situation where he was in way over his head.

I’m not trying to get Ford off the hook or say he doesn’t share in the blame for what happened. But bro…as someone who understands those kinds of triggers to betrayal and deep emotional pain…Where something, even if it’s not totally the same, has very similar elements to the painful event, happens, that pain and those intense emotions are very real. And it’s a very valid reaction, especially for someone who has not worked through or healed any from that emotional trauma.

#ford pines #stan pines #gravity falls #gravity falls meta #stanford pines #stanley pines #not me relating to ford even more…once again #and honestly the same argument could probably be applied to Stan in this scenario too tbh?#I mean maybe a few slight differences but….still yeah…these boys need therapy

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robopark · 1 month

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Hey, @caughtonwebcam (formerly melancholymoondrops) here

I’ve lost motivation for this blog and idk how to continue it without rebooting it completely. That might include rewriting the story and giving this blog a complete overhaul, or just scrapping it and replacing the characters with ocs, as I feel like I made them too ooc. Plus, rerunning the current storyline in my head, certain concepts didn’t make sense, even for an au.

There were certain events I wanted to include in the plot, such as Kyle running away and becoming friends with Marjorine while working at Tweek Bros, Ike becoming important at some point and Stan and Kyle having some weird “friends in a past life” type arc?? Gerald saving Kyle’s corpse in order to transfer the soul of robo Kyle into him to give him eternal life??? Where was Sheila in all this??? I dunno, somewhere in Jersey maybe???

Idek where I was going with that. The plot just became too jumbled to the point where I didn’t even know where I would end up, despite it appearing so clear in my head. Also, having the story be told with random asks as well as a comic following a set storyline felt inconsistent and awkward with the story’s flow, and the story to me felt like it was going very fast or very slow. Next time, I’ll do one or the other lol.

I’m really sorry to those who enjoyed this blog, but as of now, it’s cancelled. Small bits of art may be posting in my main blog still. The au may return in the future in a new form, but I haven’t decided on that yet.

In the meantime, I’m currently developing a new au outside the sp fandom.

If anyone wants to take over this blog or have any ideas for a rewrite, please don’t be afraid to dm me <3 I’m fine with transferring ownership if anybody wants to continue this. Also, if you have any lore questions that were left unanswered, I will be answering them in the comments or reblogs.

Once again, really sorry. I hope y’all understand.

- Mads

#kyle broflovski #robot kyle au #south park #south park au #au blog #anon asks #ask blog #asks #south park fanart #stan marsh #stan x kyle #style South Park #au #robo park au #robo park #rp blog #roleplay #cancelled

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saphirdevil · 8 months

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just bros doing bro things, they are loona stans, its an canon event

#resident evil #carlos oliveira #tyrell patrick #resident evil 3 remake #fanart #xavi art #tyrell is the one who would introduce carlos to loona #nikolai would also be a loona stan #probs olivia stan #carlos the type to overdecorate his cards because he is indecisive #while tyrell has made decorating photocards his hobby #re loona au

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revengemode · 3 months

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i will say something that frustrates me a bit, tom could dominate hollywood like Zendaya and timmy if he chooses too. he's got the skills, hes got the charisma, hes got the looks, and unlike Z who had to work her ass off for where she is today, he's got privilege. if he just go to the right events and make the right connections, and choose the right roles, he could dominate hollywood. of course with roles, there will be hits and misses. i love tom, huge fan of his. he did wonderful with spiderman and uncharted even though people were rooting against, but his charisma and talent won a lot of people over. kid's got potential he just doesnt use it. either because he doesnt want to or doesnt know how to. but it is frustrating as of right now because theres so much potential. the good thing about awards shows and these types of events is that he can meet and talk to some major players in hollywood, he just doesnt want to go, and i get why, he said why but doesnt change things. Timmy uses his star power, and though a bit pretentious and hungry for fame which i dislike, hes (for the most part/ he made poor decisions over the last month or 2) smart. he goes to events, he mingles with people, he chooses to work with powerful and big name directors and you've got to give him that at least. same with JE. and i hate JE literally. hes more pretentious and obnoxious, no charisma but him and his team are super smart. i will give them that at least.

Not to be a dick but…really? 😂

Fans/Stans need to stop projecting their wants and needs on these people.

What if he is perfectly happy doing what he’s been doing so far? What if the “right role” for you is not something he cares to do? What if he is already having conversations with the same people you want him to mingle with during these awards?

Fam … he is Tom Holland lol … not upcoming actor C from indie project X. There aren’t many people in this business he can’t get in touch with.

Comparing these actors have some of you in a chokehold bro. FREE YOURSELF 😂

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hwaightme · 1 year

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Your fan, Hongjoong (part 2)

(part 1) (your fan ml)

👘 pairing: hongjoong x fashion designer!reader 👘 genre: romance, fluff, mutual pining 👘 summary: a bulletpoint-style wordstream of what it would be like if hongjoong was stanning you 👘 wordcount: 5.4k (hj okay i guess) 👘 warnings/tags: language, jealousy, bro code, hongjoong and san beef, seonghwa just wants to be part of woosan, yunho is a menace pt2, san using his 'imitation' practice, yeosang and jongho have a business, reader is confident, hj not so much, MCR is love <3, goth culture, goth rock & glam/punk/pop rock! 👘 taglist: @acciocriativity, @senpai-of-doom, @layzfeelit @jcngh0-hq @ficrecsiguess 👘 a/n: Hello <3 Here is part 2 of Your Fan Hongjoong!! Time to measure the chaos levels once more; senpai-of-doom for the custom outfit gift musings <3 love you all, biggest hugs!! All asks, reblogs and likes welcome

What is unfathomably more terrifying than ATEEZ playing mafia without supervision?

Dead silent dorms and intra-ATEEZ rivalry.

Ever since the shoot for the new retail collection for ARNURI, which marked the beginning of a prolonged collaboration between ATEEZ and your fashion brand, the tension between a certain two members was uncomfortably high.

Both Hongjoong and San had radically different ways of pushing each other into a rage mode headspace, which initially had been a source of light entertainment, but soon enough turned into a betting opportunity for some, and a major headache for the one remaining ATEEZ kindergarten employee.

Like how many times in one day can Hongjoong pull rank... how many times can San sneak in the dropping of honorifics and how many times can he start talking over Hongjoong JUST before he stops talking...

The list could go on. But it was a passive aggressive battlefield that made conversation between the members nearly impossible.

Take last night's dinner for example. After Wooyoung had spent an unreasonable amount of hours making quiche, with Seonghwa following his every move like a paper towel warrior, the members were hangry, tired, and in a mood to start drama.

The first minute, five, ten minutes... passed uneventfully, with the only outliers to the calm being Jongho tuning into a live football match on his phone and Mingi bobbing his head to something only he could hear in his head.

And then, the eleventh minute struck. And with it, Hongjoong's nerve.

"Right, guys, so we have another event with ARNURI tomorrow, and I don't know about you but-"

"-Do you guys think we should gift Y/N something? I mean, she has been so patient and so kind to us." San interjected, a sly grin on his face as he openly challenged the captain with his mischief.

"give me the won bills, my guy" Jongho mumbled, putting his elbow on the table and moving his arm so his palm was facing the ceiling, and as close to Yeosang as possible.

"not yet, needs to be three in a row for 'conversational edging' combo to be counted." he whispered back as-a-matter-of-factly, swatting the maknae's hand away by giving it a high five.

"Hold up are you bettin-" Mingi began, having left his musical trance once San and Hongjoong had started their episode, but was quickly interrupted by Yeosang's quick move to cover his mouth.

"Shh... you might get percentages." he warned and let Mingi come to his conclusions, and take up the business proposal.

"Ahem, as I was saying, okay I do have got to give it to San here, that is a really good idea and I am more than happy to pick out something for Y/N that I know she will like-"

"Oh and you know what, I think I already have the right gift for her so just leave it to me guys and we'll be sorted-"

"CHOI SAN!"

"Damn that was fast." Jongho cursed under his breath as he slid a crisp note to Yeosang under the table, who then motioned in cryptic body signals to Mingi that they will split it later. Maybe he understood, maybe he didn't, but the prospect of gaining something from the shitshow was encouraging enough.

"Yes?" San responded to the now vexed leader, totally unperturbed.

"Can you stop?"

"Stop what?"

"This shit."

"But you're unstoppable Hongjoong-ah." San quipped, grinning as gasps erupted around the table.

Seonghwa was beginning to get more and more concerned as he saw his roommate slowly lower his metal spoon and press it into the table, until it was nearly bending. He placed a nervous hand onto the captain's shoulder in an attempt to snap him out of whatever was about to happen.

But no chance. Hongjoong stood up, forcing Seonghwa away.

"Look. Choi San. I do not know what has gotten into you. Actually, I very much do. But why the fuck do you want to start beef all the time?"

"So what exactly-"

"What are you? KOREAN BARBECUE?"

That made San falter - an unusual response to the food, especially considering that upon hearing that, he glanced over at Wooyoung and Seonghwa. This made Hongjoong narrow his eyes, but as he was about to ask a question about whether there was some conspiracy he did not know about, San did end up mustering a response.

"I- I just think you are trying too hard and to no avail, bro."

"Trying to do what?"

"Oh we are talking about the same fine lady here, aren't we?"

"OH you mean how your thirsty ass is committing every form of social disrespect trying to get Y/N to notice you?"

"Excuse you, I am just making conversation unlike your mousy and terrified ass."

"Ass?" Mingi was back in the game, having zoned out for a couple of seconds.

"Yes, Mingi, they are fighting over ass, it's okay, it happens sometimes." Yunho rubbed his friend's back in a fatherly manner, patting it a couple of times for good measure as he nodded slowly.

"That is just rude, man what the-" Hongjoong diverted his attention to Mingi, who had already grasped the lever on his breakfast bar chair and started sliding downwards.

Not that it helped much, only making a previously stoic Yunho spin away to try compose himself, and Yeosang fold his hands in prayer and position them in the most magnificent 'boi' form.

"Oh, look at Hongjoong being a fucking white knight." a strong hit from San, using his opponent's momentary distraction to his advantage.

"That is an online term, you oaf." Yeosang corrected quietly, pointing his hands at the man, who had stood up to match Hongjoong.

"Get off my dick dude-"

Yeosang mimicked looking through a pair of binoculars in response to San's distressed whisper, making the man groan.

"All of this is so anti-bro code, shame shame." Yeosang continued, only this time a little louder, causing Hongjoong and San to roll their eyes. The former recovered a little quicker, and attempted to intercept, but San was fast on the comeback, not giving the older member any chances.

"Again-"

"SIMP~" San boomed, making a tube with his hands to amplify his shouting.

"DOUBLE KILL." Yunho joined in, covering his mouth to make his voice sound as close to the video games he had been playing as possible.

Wooyoung had fallen off his chair, and was currently becoming one with the carpet as he had reached the point of a laughing fit where one could no longer produce sound and had to resort to being a fish, flopping about in the drama.

"RIGHT! I cannot stand this childishness any longer. You have been the biggest pain for the last few days and I am DONE trying to handle it or to be the bigger person, OKAY? If you want no rules. You'll get no rules. Except now, don't expect me to go easy on you."

The room fell silent, aside from Wooyoung slapping the floor and wheezing, and a deep, exasperated sigh from Seonghwa, who was massaging his temples like a mother at a parent teacher conference.

Hongjoong stormed away from the group, nearly ripping his jacket off the coat hanger and shoving headphones into his ears, with an aggressive announcement that he was going to the studio.

Again. That same silence.

Wooyoung managed to fight off the rest of his giggles and stand up, leaning on San for support. As he wiped his tears away, he looked to the eldest member, who began to gather Hongjoong's cutlery and what was left over of the meal.

"Hwa, you good?" San tried, any trace of anger and rebellion having evaporated at an astonishing speed.

"Uh... don't you think that was a bit much?" Seonghwa looked up, concern etched on his face.

"But you know what I'm trying to do, don't you?"

"Yeah, and I still think it's a bit too much."

"Oh, just you wait. Hongjoong likes a challenge." Wooyoung added, wrapping an arm around San's neck while he snapped pictures of the nearly gone quiche as evidence that it had been, in fact, edible.

"So. Special ops unit 'flower umbrella', care to explain what the fuck are you guys plotting before I force the answers out of you?"

All eyes were on Jongho, who had put his phone face down, right in front of him on the table, and had intertwined his fingers in a 'plotting murder' manner. His unreadable expression made Wooyoung, San and Seonghwa uneasy, and they began to play the eye game of 'who is going to say it'.

As Hongjoong was stomping his way to the studio, he was blasting songs that he recalled you had mentioned to him in the little chats you had shared. Him being very music-driven, of course he had taken the chance to ask what you enjoyed listening to.

So that was how he had ended up embarking on the feels train listening to "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" by The Smiths. Not quite the best choice when he was ready to smash a fist through a wall, but alas, at least it reminded him of you, and how calm you could stay amidst chaos.

He wondered if San knew this information too. What had you been chatting about with him? He had seen you laughing a couple of times whilst with him. That sneaky bastard. Openly declaring war and then not... joking? Who did that guy think he was?

Hongjoong could not help but beat himself up inside. He really was a coward, wasn't he? Every time he talked to you he would just giggle like a stereotypical shy anime school girl, all while staring at you like a damn puppy. He could not help it.

Being around you had an inexplicably strong effect on him to the point where he struggled to even have the role of captain. Hell, he even missed instructions a couple of times if you were next to the photographer.

And of course "Be My Druidess" by Type O Negative had to start playing at that exact moment. He huffed, rushing into KQ and zooming past security. Studio, studio, studio. He needed to just be alone for a second.

Once he had arrived, and locked himself in, he turned off the music and left all his belongings by the mixing equipment. Then, he waddled over into the recording booth, cautiously shutting the door behind him.

He took a deep breath. Almost meditative. And then let out

the most FRUSTRATED SCREAM into the void that was the noise isolating foam and thick concrete walls.

Taking a couple more steadying breaths, he stepped out again, and crashed onto the spinning chair before him.

San was a little shit.

San did not know you like Hongjoong did.

Hongjoong missed you.

Hongjoong did NOT want you to be the one who got away even before you could get together.

He picked up his phone, fiddling with it a couple of times. Unlocking it and locking it again. He looked at the bracelet, the one you had complimented, still on his wrist. There was no other way. He had to do it. After a glance at the time on the screen, he deliberated once again - what if he came across as a creeper who was contacting a co-worker way outside of appropriate hours?

But he did have your number - you had given it to him on the first day, explaining that he was 'the lead figure of ATEEZ'. That had made his heart swell with pride. But also shit bricks because he had your number but did not text you a single time so you did not have his?

His mind was moving at lightning speed. Oh well, if he did not take this chance, there would never be another.

<Unknown Number> Hi! So sorry for the late hour, this is Hongjoong!

He bit his lip, doubting his use of exclamation points. Was he being desperate? Was this too much?

<you> Oh Hongjoong, hi!!! I was wondering when you'd text lol

<hongjoong> Yeah... so sorry about that, it's been really wild lately

<you> I get you :) hopefully the shoot and generally the collab isn't putting too much pressure on you? If it is just let me know and I'll tell the designers to back off for a bit!

<hongjoong> Nonono seriously it is the best part of my day!

<you> Wow well I am glad to hear it!

<hongjoong> You are amazing

He slapped himself across the face as he reread what he had accidentally sent. Now you were definitely going to beat any records of fastest time to block someone.

<you> haha right back at you :)

His heart swelled and he wiggled his legs, but quickly stopped himself and pondered whether this was genuinely because you thought he was amazing or because you were scared and thought he was mildly unhinged.

Well bold of him to assume one or the other, because in reality, you just found him adorable.

Out of all the ATEEZ members, as you had expected, he had gotten the energy of ARNURI straight away. There had been no hiccups with him, no miniature coaching sessions about how to properly pose in the clothing so that not only did it look good but also told a story.

He knew what you were trying to do without you having to explain it a million times (which sometimes even your own employees needed), and although he couldn't quite get his words out when he was talking with you, there was no particular need. PHANTASMOS had been second nature to him.

All you could think about was how the future ATEEZ x ARNURI collection was going to look on him. It would be the world's biggest lie if you were to say you had not been working on his selection of items the longest. As a matter of fact, long before the potential to collaborate had even appeared on the horizon.

It was only natural - you had seen him wear your items, and you had a good eye for fitting and guessing what styling would work on whom. So, he had turned into a vision, a muse for you. In the times when you could sit in your personal studio and hone your craft, create to your heart's content, Hongjoong would be in the corner of your mind, his form - a canvas for your sketches.

Though for the actual ATEEZ x ARNURI collection you had ended up preparing entirely new drafts since they had to match and 'speak' to the others', you did have a couple of samples done for Hongjoong's solo looks, simply to be displayed on a mannequin for you to admire and reminisce on your journey. One which this man had influenced in many ways.

And now he was right in your phone screen. You had no reason to give him your number, since the majority of business interactions were being handled by your PA, marketing and relationship management. But on a whim you did it anyways. You were kind of proud of how coolly you went about it too. Casually taking out a blank card, noting down the digits and passing them to him between two fingers.

Okay maybe a little cringey in retrospect but he was not one to judge - not from how you had noticed him smiling like an idiot as, after finishing the conversation and with you 'totally paying attention to what one of the makeup artists was saying', he had shuffled into a corner of the photo studio, behind some equipment, unclipped his phone case and slid the card safe inside.

Curiosity was getting the best of you - you were happy, yes, but there must be some reason why Hongjoong had spontaneously decided to get in contact with you.

<you> So what's got you burning the midnight oil?

After what felt to be a minute, Hongjoong replied:

<hongjoong> At the studio right now, kind of in the mood of wanting to compose but not knowing what.

<you> That makes two of us, just I'm in a fashion studio and wanting to sketch haha

<hongjoong> Now that sounds amazing! What kinds of clothes?

<you> Well I have been very much on the ATEEZ ship as of late, so most of my ideation is dedicated to that

<you> Actually, can we have a quick call? I want to run some ideas by you if it's okay :)

<hongjoong> Sure!!

And there you were, two workaholics in your respective studios, showing each other around and talking for what had ended up being a little over four hours. You had indeed showed him some of the ideas you had, including a couple of iterations for chain harnesses that could be used to complete looks for some of the members.

Needless to say, you could make him blush and exhibit obvious jealous undertones at your command, and at the same time, make him look like the happiest man on the planet just by a couple of well-timed words. He seemed to have a particularly sharp reaction to when you mentioned San, and a choker that you had prepared.

You were not sure what the story there was, because San had been nothing but friendly to you, and as a matter of fact, had been showering their captain with praise and practically giving you a Hongjoong sales pitch. But you decided to not press the matter further. ATEEZ will be ATEEZ.

When he had played a couple of songs for you and explained how he had been working on them, you decided to go into a compliment monologue. You wished you could translate his shy laughter into a design. How could one recreate Kim Hongjoong in an article of clothing? In an outfit? It would be lifetimes before that could be achieved. So for the time being, you were content with cradling your phone screen as you listened to Hongjoong.

Somehow, the conversation turned into My Chemical Romance appreciation, as you divulged that yes, you may be goth, but that did not somehow limit you nor did it mean you were to look down upon anything else. Quite the opposite, the culture you followed had given you nothing but love, and all you wanted was to share it. And a part of this love was given to the band, who you enjoyed blasting while working, while commuting, and simply just because you wanted to sit there, head empty, and listen to them.

While you were rambling away about The Black Parade album, the songs you liked from it such as the classic - Teenagers, and about MCR's legendary comeback, Hongjoong was slammed full force by a EUREKA moment, and discreetly he noted it down on a stray post-it note. He knew exactly what he would gift to you that would beat anything and everything. At least he hoped it would.

Once the call had ended, he did not go home. In fact, he had gone to the photoshoot directly from the studio, much to the discontent of his manager and the concern of his members. But did he give a shit? No. He had spent the entire night talking, and creating for his love. He was not going to lie about it anymore. It was true. He was not a fan. He wanted so much more. And he was going to fight for it.

Fight me. Choi San. I dare you.

Such calls became a regular occurrence, since conveniently enough both of you were night owls (to the point where it was confusing what time zone you actually lived in). They had also served to lighten up his mood, to the point where after a couple of days he had stopped giving San the silent treatment (aside from captain's orders) and promoted the member back to acquaintanceship status.

The members noticed that you and him had become much closer in regular, in person interactions too, and as the days went on, you would spend a lot longer in one another's company. To the point where San could not keep up his game any more. Not that he had any opportunity to, since as soon as he was to make a beeline for you, Hongjoong would be right there, with a question, a joke, a random comment, or a small gift.

He had taken to discussing clothing modification with you, bringing some of his projects with him a couple of times, which you were more than happy to feedback on and even wreak havoc together with him. With the various trinkets that he was giving you, thanks to Wooyoung's creativity, some of the members had taken to calling Hongjoong 'the magpie man'.

But weeks passed, the shoots and collaborative design sessions were being wrapped up, and Hongjoong had settled into some kind of odd routine with you - one which you began to be dissatisfied with. It was as though he had started decelerating. As you watched the ATEEZ members being prepared for another, now video shoot for a series of promotions for the ATEEZ x ARNURI collection (the designs of which had been finalised ahead of schedule thanks to a certain captain helping you catch the essence of his group), you wondered if there was something that had influenced Hongjoong's firey pursuit in the first place...

Whilst observing their interactions, your eyes finally settled on him. None other than Choi San. The one member other than Hongjoong who had been extra friendly with you, but recently also stepped off the gas. Were they competing in some way? But San was literally talking about the other member most of the time-

Oh.

Oh. Now it made sense. You could not help but smile. Oh this was elaborate. In true ATEEZ fashion. All you needed was confirmation.

"Sannie? Could you come here for a moment?" purposefully using his nickname to highlight how you guys were 'so close', you called for his attention. Thus calling the attention of every other member too.

He seemed to catch the drift, or at least the not-so-gentle shove from Wooyoung helped, as he called back with a nickname and sauntered right to you, resembling a cat on the prowl. You caught Hongjoong's glare darting from you to him. Soon enough, he was glowering.

"Alright, San," you beckoned him closer to you, to which he obliged, "tell me about your plan regarding Hongjoong, will you?"

"Ah so it was kind of obvious..." he rubbed the back of his neck, looking off to the side.

"Evidently not, since I am only bringing this up now."

"But yeah. Okay. Long story short - he likes you. A lot. And that has only gotten more intense, so we decided to give him a couple of nudges."

"We?"

"Oh yeah this was Woo's plan." he pointed in his friend's direction, who appeared to have been ready, all this time, to make a cute pose and wave at you.

"Right."

"And then Hwa kind of improved it so it's more natural."

"Unexpected, but okay I see it."

"And then... um. Basically something happened and the rest of the guys are on the cheer squad."

"This is unbelievable." you stated, keeping your voice intentionally monotone.

"I'm really sorry. I know this is probably really silly and-"

"I want in."

"You- what now? Hold up can you back track."

"Well I think the main point to address is that, yes, I do indeed like Hongjoong too. A lot. And I am disappointed that he is a bit to comfortable right now."

"Now we're talking! See, San told you." Yunho, who was halfway through getting his makeup done but excused himself to hear the monumental tea, had appeared beside you, and soon enough you three had formed a huddle.

"Yunho, it wasn't too hard to guess I recall explicitly telling you I thought Hongjoong to be handsome."

"Yeah but who knows... maybe it was a fashion thing. I was judging more from the body language. And some other stuff but that's a company secret." Yunho explained, and winked.

"Dang, well. Nice. So, I think we sort of understand each other?"

"We all want Hongjoong to stop being a little bitch and confess?" San asked, making your eyes widen, as you were nonplussed at the choice of words.

"Precisely," Yunho agreed, entirely not phased, "which is why I propose operation 'Jealous Joong'. Even though he is like a tired dad most of the time, hate to break it to you, he has this sort of switch. If he really wants something, he will do anything to get it. And I think the same applies if it is someone we are talking about."

"You are more devious than I thought." you praised him, slowly clapping your hands together at the fun facts you had just been given.

"Never trust the innocent-looking ones." San warned you in a light-hearted tone.

"Noted, mister 'I will burn through the camera with my sultry gaze'."

"I'll take it. Now, my lady, let's go give Joongie some hell."

"Let's get this show on the road!"

And oh boy, was this quite the show. San's demeanour towards you had changed almost fully. He amped up the touchiness, requested that it was you who would be finalising his looks, making you float around him, and him alone.

This was riling up Hongjoong until his blood was boiling. He felt cheated. At the same time, Yunho, Wooyoung and Seonghwa kept on trying to grab his attention, while simultaneously making not so pleasant comments about what they were seeing between you and San. Feeding Hongjoong's turbulent emotions.

And San kept it up, right until the end of the shoot for the say, when Hongjoong, after saying a curt thanks, bolted out of the building, not caring for the staff that had ended up having to chase after him. Initially you thought that what you had agreed to do might have been to much, but Seonghwa, with two thumbs up, had reassured you that what was achieved was the optimum.

Sure enough, it did not take too long for Hongjoong to make an appearance. At one twenty-three. In the morning. Somehow managing to sneak into ARNURI, and right up to the door to your office, where you were still sat, enjoying the pleasures of filtering through massive email chains.

A couple of knocks on the door made you take a decorative bird skull in your hand, before attempting to not stutter as you said 'come in'. But there he was. As promised. A disheveled and determined Hongjoong, holding something tightly in his hand.

"Hi. Yeah. I am back. So. Sorry. For this afternoon. I don't know what had gotten into me. But. I just. I just want to share something with you. It's been something I have been working on the last couple of weeks, and well, uhm, I guess before you make any decisions or anything like that I just wanted to... gift it to you? Sorry, I know it is probably ridiculous but-"

"I'd love to listen to it, Joongie. Is it on a memory stick?" you pointed at his fist as he nodded vigorously and approached to pass it to you.

Promptly, you plugged it into your computer, and in a matter of a minute, the air was filled with Hongjoong's incredible cover of 'Teenagers', with him having added a well-matched, self-composed rap verse. His nerve. His energy. They were incomparable to anything you had heard.

And to think you had begun to doubt that he liked you and was getting cold... on the contrary, his feelings only got deeper. When the song finished, and you two were in quietude once more, Hongjoong began to fill the silence with his worries:

"So yeah. That was that. I just wanted to play this for you because you know, you like the original a lot. And I am sorry for causing you the trouble you probably did not want to be disturbed and here I am-"

"I loved it, Hongjoong. Seriously."

"Thanks..." he trailed off, not being able to meet you as you stood up from your desk.

"Let me show you something in return. Follow me."

You led him through a side door in your office and into your personal studio. Once you turned on one of the floor lamps, you asked Hongjoong to inspect one of the mannequins. The mannequin. Hongnequin.

Hongjoong was speechless as he gaped at the intricate needlework, the hints of shimmer in just the right places, like deep space collected in a suit. He turned to you about to sing praises, but became even more floored as you said to him:

"This is yours."

"Huh?"

"Hopefully I got the size right."

"Wait... when? How?"

"It's... been a while. Care to make a poor designer happy and give them a little try on?"

As you asked that, suddenly, Hongjoong got bold and came close to you, so your faces were mere inches away. He studied you, and tentatively placed his hands on your waist. As you made not move to reject him, he pulled you a little closer:

"You actually made this for me... it is so beautiful. You really are a star."

"And what's your wish upon a star?"

"Can the star be mine?"

"Finally."

And you closed the gap between you with a sweet kiss, resting your arms around his neck and shoulders, relishing in the sensation.

Once you broke away, gleaming and with you giggling at the fact that Hongjoong whispered to himself that 'you were actually his girlfriend now wow', you couldn't help but want to make the moment even more delightful, perhaps just for yourself.

"I should definitely thank San and the gang for this."

"Excuse you?"

"Yeah, apparently if they had not provoked you... who knows..."

The group was in for an interesting night, as once Hongjoong was back, he announced his presence by yelling out a loving

"SEONGHWA YOU TRAITOR!"

"DON'T TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT HE MADE FOOD TONIGHT!" Wooyoung shouted back across the apartment, making some of the already sleeping members cuss him out from within their rooms.

"Uh, hi? Hongjoong? Back from studio?" Seonghwa was peering out from their shared room, an oversized hood covering the majority of his face as he tried to wake up.

"No, back from visiting my girlfriend who kindly revealed to me that I live with a bunch of rats????"

"WEE WOO WEE WOO LADS HONGJOONG HAS ACQUIRED A GOTH GF ALL IS GOOD IN THE WORLD!" Wooyoung sounded like a megaphone, racing out of his room and almost smashing the door open to San's, but the later was ready, for he immediately joined in by chanting:

"goth gf goth gf gotH GF GOTH GF-"

"I will end all of you. Now HWA??? HOW DID THOSE TWO DEMON CHILDREN FIND ANYTHING OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE? WHERE, INFO, WHEN?"

"You know the restaurant I showed you a bit of time back?" the eldest recounted.

"Yeah the one with A5 grade beef."

"Well... they took me there. In exchange for a Hongjoong info drop."

"You know what? I can't even be mad. Plus, I am too happy to do anything right now. You got lucky. Now let's sleep, I have a date tomorrow!" Hongjoong squealed, hopping to the room much to the amusement of the members who had been bothered to sacrifice their beauty sleep.

But as he walked past a smiling San, his smile had instantly turned demonic, as he tilted his head and whispered:

"And you and I will have a long and intimate talk tomorrow. Prepare yourself, For I like to extend the fun."

Although San was not looking forward to it, he gave himself a pat on the back. This was what the real bro code was.

After the launch of the collaborative line and the promotions, ARNURI's sales went through the roof. Some items had sold out instantly, others already had long pre-order lists. You were being invited to shows rather than having to fight tooth and nail for it. You had scheduled participations in official weeks, mid-season events and more. Again, all thanks to your inspiration, your muse, your partner, Kim Hongjoong.

As the collaboration had been close enough, you two could easily hide your relationship from the public. But after what had come to be a little over a year of you flying solo on the media, you had chosen to reveal your relationship in as an extravagant way possible.

Camera flashes. Journalists. Designers. Models. VIPs. At Seoul Fashion Week, there was no place were there were no people. Crowds of enthusiastic fashionistas combatted with the press to get a closer glimpse at those on the red carpet, and went wild as you stepped out. Dressed in a gorgeous onyx ARNURI gown, hugging you in just the right places. Hongjoong immediately followed, and joined you, with his hand on the small of your back to protect his star. Dressed in the matching suit that you had designed just for him, for your muse.

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