#stardew valley incorrect quotes
Game, set, match.
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Seb, sitting in Maru’s doorway:
Maru: get out
Seb: im literally not even in ur room
Maru: ill kill u im serious
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Farmer: I’m crying.. You made me cry..
Farmer: NOW is not the time for pet names..
Shane: I’m calling you a baby
Shane: I’m fucking insulting you
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Sebastian: *singing on stage at the saloon* FUCK this town, FUCK your face, FUCK this god forsaken PLAAAACE!
Demetrius: Jesus Christ...
Shane: *drunk* Woooo hell yeah! Tell 'em! *laughs*
Lewis: Robin! Control your son! Goodness me!
Robin: He's doing his thing *sigh* let him do his thing.
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Shane: DAMN IT-
Marnie, watching from the bushes: JUST CONFESS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.
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Robin: hey Sebby can you stop changing the google logo
Robin: The logo for google, you keep changing it
Sebastian: Mom I don’t change the logo, google does
Robin: you don’t run google?
Sebastian: If I ran google I wouldn’t be driving a Kawasaki motorcycle from 1972
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Farmer: what are you drinking?
Abby: no im gay
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Emily: Everytime an artist dies, Yoba lets them paint the sky.
Sam: I can’t wait for my turn.
Sam: I’m gonna paint dicks.
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sebastian: i said if i didn't leave pelican town by 35, i was just going to become a serial killer
farmer: well girl how old are you, im getting nervous ?
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Sam: I’m never playing The Sims with you two ever again!
Abigail and Sebastian: Why?!
Sam: Because you two made an underground torture chamber!!!
Abigail: But what else do you do with The Sims?
Sam: TAKE CARE OF THEM!
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Sam: Shout out to my fellow sexy bitches with ADHD who use way more words than they really need to literally any time they write or say anything because their point has to come across 100% like they imagined it
Sebastian: Was that sentence an example?
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Seb: Why does every conversation we have turn out like this...?
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some more stardew memes because what's life
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Shane: How do I make a date more romantic?
Emily: Try being more mysterious
[Later that day]
Farmer: Where are we going?
Shane: None of your fucking business
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Sam: *walks into his house to see his dad trying the fix the dining room table*
Sam: Oh nooo.
Sam: Our table.
Kent: Sam! *gives angry look*
Kent: *contuines to stare at him*
Sam: .....Its broken.
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Sam: Some hairsprays are tasty. Today's wasn't tasty, but the hairspray for the last schedule was good.
Alex: You should ask for the tasty hairspray next time.
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Sam: did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Sebastian: Actually I dug my way out of hell with a rusty spoon
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Sebastians dialogues in the summer be like
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Sebastian: My new song “Toss Me Into The Sun” will be the antithesis to “Fly Me To The Moon”.
Sam: Then call it “Toss Me Into The Sun”.
Sebastian: What part of this conversation did you manage to miss?
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sebastian: we're d-d-driving in a CAR
sam: destination drug dealer's BAR
sebastian: pass the mic right over to abigail
sebastian: we forgot abigail—
sam: but we can't go back bc we've gone to abi-far
sebastian: we have to turn back—
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