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angelictrl · 3 years

Note

Hi! Can I request some hcs for the brothers + undateables taking care of a gn!MC while they're in hospital? (I'll leave the reason they're in hospital up to you) Thanks!!

DEMON BROS TAKING CARE OF AN MC IN THE HOSPITAL.

ofc !! i'm going to write the undateable ver. and link it here later since this got longer than i thought it would if you don't mind <3

LUCIFER

tries to be there for you but can't stop himself from drowning in his work.

don't get me wrong - he most certainly is attentive to your needs and visits you often - but he still puts all the blame on himself no matter the cause for you being put in the hospital.

this is because it reminds him of when he and his brothers fell.

not only did he have to get accustomed to the devildom, but he had to suffer the loss of his sister, deal with his new demonic form, and raise satan all while being diavolo's righthand man.

so naturally, being the eldest and also the one who started the great celestial war, he always felt at fault for how things turned out; although he'd rather die than say it aloud.

you being put in the hospital makes him feel like he failed you, he failed to save you, failed to protect you, even if he hides it with a poker face and instead drowns in his work.

please - this is one of the only times you'll see a vulnerable luci.

cupping his face tenderly with your hands as he sits by your bedside late at night, he refuses to cry, but definently has a gloomy expression.

he can't lose you too. he cant fail you.

as soon as you're discharged though, he makes sure to keep you by his side more often.

late night office dates, anyone?

he'll hold you close and try to be slightly more affectionate in public.

this whole scenario has reminded him just how mortal you are, and he hates that someone who's just as angelic as you is trapped inside of a fragile and weak body.

MAMMON

clingy asf

probably the first one to find out mc's in the hospital.

he's downright upset at first. normally he's attached to your hip, so the one time he leaves you alone, ya wind up in the hospital? he knew you were too much of a fragile human to be left alone!

he refuses to let anyone near you as you recover - besides the doctors and nurses, of course, but even then he eyeballs them to make sure they're being gentle with you.

he goes on a rant/lecture about how you're just some weak human who needs him by your side and how you shouldn't have gone off on your own, but as soon as you frown or pout while averting your gaze, his whole demeanor flips.

he's just really worried about you.

he's a big tsundere, yes, but he cares so much about you and he's not sure how to convey his emotions as he's never felt this way about anyone before.

"h-hey, i'm not mad at ya. just... i'm your first. no, i don't care if i'm in the middle of a scheme, i'll always make time for ya... so don't go off alone, okay?!"

buys you tons of gifts before and after you've left the hospital

definitely won't leave you alone for the first few weeks of being discharged

really, he's clinging onto you like you have more value than goldie

and truly, he wouldn't admit it, but you do.

LEVIATHAN

probably gets told by one of his brothers since he's hiding out in his room as per usual.

first, he almost summons lotan in anger to get revenge for mc if they got hurt by someone, but whether that is or isn't the case, he soon calms down once he recognizes something.

this is just like the 78th episode of TSL he was watching when the lord of shadows returns the favor to henry for helping him through his familial problems by taking care of him!!

well then. now levi's been inspired to be the best lord of shadows he can for his henry.

oh, and i guess he'll do it anyways because he cares about mc's wellbeing to begin with or wtv... /s

nonetheless, snek boi brings a bunch of games, movies, and mangas to mc as he camps out in their hospital room with them.

you better be prepared to binge watch all of TSL and fall asleep to whatever sounds are coming from his game beside your bed - not that you have much of a choice, anyways.

his brothers probably try to pull him away from you as he's clingy boy #2 and staying up having gaming marathons can't be good for your recovery, so you can bet your little human butt you're going to find yourself staying in levi's room for a couple of days after you've left the hospital.

definently places ruri-chan or any other anime-related stickers on your casts (if you have any) or cheeks to cheer you up.

bonus: he totally tries to sneak in henry 2.0 to keep you company when he can't be there and if he succeeds, he relies on henry to give him reports of your health.

SATAN

pissed if someone else landed you in the hospital. nearly goes on a rampage and his brothers just barely manage to stop him.

probably one of the best people to keep you company once he calms down, though.

definitely visits you at the same hour everyday to bring you books he suggests you read.

if you're not up for reading any, he'll suggest reading them to you, or suggest something else entirely different.

stays overnight a couple times with an audiobook playing in the background or with an open book on his chest.

doesn't mind falling asleep in weird positions anyways considering the way his room is set up.

watches detective dramas late at night when you're asleep like a dork lol

definitely watches cute cat compilations with you if you're feeling down for any particular reason and will stroke your hair to calm you down.

10/10, soft satan is best satan <3

ASMODEUS

probably screams tbh

that can't be good for your skin!! all that stress on top of being sick/hurt is going to make you break out!!

practically dashes to visit you with skin care & beauty products although you're advised not to use them by your doctors atm

asmodeus has never been so salty.

though, he is concerned about your overrall being.

it honestly scares him how much he cares about you. especially in this state because he's never cared so much for anyone else other than his brothers or himself in a long time.

most likely to cry (besides mammon) if you cry since he already has tears stinging his eyes.

he starts neglecting his own nightly routines to stay overnight with you.

if you start to point it out or ask him why he's doing this, he'll just sit there in astonishment processing your words.

you matter so much to him? like, duh, of course he's going to be here, why wouldn't he? he doesn't care about anything else other than you and your recovery right now and-

oh.

you matter... more than him... to him...?

...ya broke him.

when you're asleep, he watches you silently for a change, caressing your cheek delicately with soft eyes focused on your relaxed features.

he gets a strange feeling in his chest - and not like the ones he gets from excitement over his quick hookups - no, no, this one is a foreign feeling. it's, dare he say, euphoric.

BEELZEBUB

just like lucifer, he feels guilty.

he already lost lilith. he can't lose you too.

he probably needs more reassuring that you're going to be okay than you do, honestly.

he plops down onto the couch in your room and intensely stares at your sleeping form as he stress eats.

on a funnier note, he has the nurses doing laps around the hospital bringing him food and he says "it's for mc" to them, but we all know who it's really for.

he's the softest he's ever been with you.

you thought he was a teddy bear before? he's practically made of stuffing by now.

when you're sad, he wants to reassure you, but you look so sickly and frail that he holds you like your glass.

please reassure this behemoth of a man that you're going to be okay, he really loves you and wouldn't forgive himself if he made things worse.

most definitely takes you out to a restaurant to treat you once you've fully recovered.

BELPHEGOR

he already beats himself up over the attic thing, so if anyone had hurt you enough to put you into the hospital, his anger would probably rival the avatar of wrath and they'd go missing.

squeezes himself onto your bed to cuddle you while being mindful of your iv.

if that doesn't work, well, then he just drapes himself over your legs. he's gonna find a way to be with you, and you can't stop him (y'know, unless you flat out tell him or look like you're uncomfortable).

if all else fails, he settles for mushing his cheek against one arm propped against your bedside as his other hand is occupied holding yours.

he's pretty much like one of those therapy cats LMAO

lots n lots of sleepy cuddling. after all, rest is essential for your recovery, right?

when you two can't sleep, you have movie nights bingewatching the worst rated movies and shows in the devildom and the two of you go cinema sins on them.

v clingy after you get discharged and holds you noticeably tighter to his chest.

"stop doing stupid things that could kill you, you idiot."

obey me masterlist. | undateables version.

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dirtycccat · 3 years

Text

the demon bros+ undateables showing their love

thought about this for 5 min then had to write it out so enjoy

lucifer

first off you notice he treats you differently

and by differently i mean like you’re his favorite child sibling

you get away with anything??? and he’s softer with you than with the others (which is canon)

then you see that?? he keeps buying you stuff you said you wanted when he was present

and you’re ofc impressed

but you’re more impressed by how open he’s around you

he’ll leave most of his walls down around you

which means you’ll get to experience unfiltered lucifer

he’ll laugh around you more, make dumb dad jokes, nap with his head in your lap, complain drunkenly about his work and bros, give you sloppy cheeks and forehead kisses

you find it rly cute though

if you’re in the human world he’ll 100% take this chance to send you beautifully written letters asking you how you are and leaving some verses that reminded him of you on the back like a 19th century vampire

“dear mc, how is your life? mine is filled with woe and unease since i do not have the light of my life around anymore...anyway here’s a poem about being horny and alone by a 18th century romantic author hope to see you soon, xoxo lucifer”

you try to respond in the same way and send him memes on the back instead of poetry (or real poetry depends on your mood)

mammon

protective of you 100% will throw hands with anyone that even glances weirdly your way

but also wants to show you off? like look at this human!!! this is MY human!!!

gives you random thoughtful gifts that reminded him of you

wants to be around you 24/7 so he invites you to all the events that he thinks you’ll like

you wanna party? perfect. you wanna go on a weird ghost stories tour around the city? cool. you wanna waltz in one of those old people parties? he’s already reserved two tickets. you just wanna lay around and nap? he’s already on your lap.

it doesn’t matter if you’re in a romantic relationship or not this man WILL serenade you outside your window

rapunzel style with an acoustic guitar or with a boombox like a rebel 80s kid

anyway here’s toxic by britney spears babe this is for YOU

levi

considers you his bff ofc

but also at first he’s still really awkward around you and doesn’t really know what to do for you and feels bad thinking only you do things for him

until you reassure him you enjoy just being around him so it’s fine

he blushes and starts inviting you more to his room to game/ watch stuff

at some point he starts buying two tickets to all concerts he goes to and invites you along

but also? he asks you what you’re into and starts marathoning your favorite animes/ movies/ series so he can talk with you abt them

you feel really moved that he’d do that for you??? like??? bruh...

your relationship is basically friends respecting each other and wanting to know each other the best through their passions even if it means getting into some weird shit

it’s rly wholesome tho

if you’re romantically involved he’ll totally do roleplay as your favourite character and you do the same for him and it’s really cute

also imagine: artistic collabs. you make fanart together??? you can program games together???? you do cosplay together??? the possibilities...

satan

he’ll hate to be compared to his dad brother but he does show how much he trusts you by showing his unguarded side too

when he first talked about lucifer without the filter of his nice guy persona you were pretty shocked

like he was really going at it

but then you realize? he’s just like that when he’s comfortable

and it’s not all mean spirited, he just has,,, a strong personality and a lot of opinions about stuff (which you sometimes share with him)

but you also found out it’s really fun to gossip with satan

since he knows all the juicy gossip from his multitude of ties (he’s sharing the title of gossip queen with asmo that’s why they get along so well tbh)

also if you even find a teacher you hate he’ll tell you all their embarrassing moments to make you feel better

he also recommends you books and poems and sends you quotes that made him think about you

so you sure as heck don’t need to buy books while you’re in the devildom bc he’ll buy you an entire library

asmo

compliments you without comparing you to himself which is the highest compliment he can give

like mammon he’s more into the showing everyone his favorite human around while also protecting them

he’ll take you to his parties and gatherings as a guest of honor, he’ll make you meet all kinds of people and open up opportunities for you

he’ll be the one that pampers you

you’d think lucifer is the sugar daddy of the family but nope it’s asmo

he’ll buy you cute clothes, shoes, beauty products everything that he saw and imagined would look bomb on you

if you’re not into clothes he’ll buy you art supplies, books, anything you want but he’ll still probably buy you at least some clothes he thinks are cute

if you’re romantically involved,,,, he’ll buy other toys for you as well which you can try together wink wink

beel

cooks for you

no questions asked when it’s his turn to cook he’ll think about what YOU would like to eat first before making something

which is??? really touching coming from beel

and also means sometimes he’ll make the same dish three weeks in a row and annoy the others while you just get excited bc ??? you get to eat your favourite dish??? again and again????

thank you beel you truly know how to touch someone’s insides

also opens up to you and talks to you about his fears and thoughts

expect to get 4 am msgs from beel if he had a nightmare

which would end up in you coming to cuddle him (and belphie also joins sometimes)

which tbh is that even a thing you can complain about?

belphie

is more baby less murder when you’re around

naps on your lap, naps on your shoulder, naps with you anywhere

but also let’s you nap on HIM

besides being soft around you he actually opens up to you too

and talks to you about his traumas and issues

which he has in common with his twin what can you do

so you have weekly cuddle parties with him and beel where you talk about shit and actually make them resolve their issues instead of just,,, ignoring them

also if you’re into each other you probably tease each other and flirt really shamelessly in public while the others cringe and or blush at your language

are you a cowboy? because i want you to ride me all night

simeon

writes you fancy letters with poetry like lucifer, but his ink is scented and his envelopes contain pressed flowers more often than not

if you’re together you even do letter sexting if you’re into it

creates characters based on you in his stories (which you don’t believe even if levi points out you that the two of you are kinda similar)

asks you to spend more and more time with him and luke

invites you to picnics, reads to you while your head is in his lap, cooks you snacks

if you’re a theatre kid too,,, you do musical love confessions too,,, sometimes by just reciting the lyrics of really popular musical theatre songs in a death panned voice

cough a heart full of love from les mis but read like poetry through the fence of the house of lamentation cough

asks you cryptic shit hannibal style like “tell me mc what does it mean to want to be consumed whole by another? is it a desire to become something bigger than yourself or is it related to our need to become one with our loved one like some cultures pointed out before?”

you’re either really into his cryptid talk or just roll your eyes and smooch him

diavolo

invites you around to his castle all the time

sometimes he even pulls some weird shenanigans just to make you spend more time with him

expect tea parties with him luci and barbatos in no particular combination

gives you compliments 24/7 even in public

remember how he treats lucifer? he’s that for you too but he’s learned from the lucifer experience to focus on complimenting you as a person more than how you look

if you’re into pda he’ll touch you all the time

if you ever wanted a gomez - morticia romance, here’s your goth big titty himbo that’s way too full of love

if you’re lovers expect to be pampered, i feel like? he doesn’t buy a lot of gifts and such because he’s probably tired of material things but he will make time in his busy schedule for you and spend a lot of time with you

which means more to him than gifts

(we will buy you anything you ask though)

barbatos

actually talks with you about stuff outside rad, the demon bros and diavolo

also invites you to alone time tea or wine time

where you drink and gossip

if satan and asmo are the crowned queens of gossip barbatos is the king of gossip but he doesn’t share his knowledge to most people so nobody knows what he knows

but he knows,,,, a lot

and not only that he knows a lot about people nowadays,,, but imagine the things he knows about like historical figures and such,,,

so prepare for story time with barbatos where he talks about how oscar wilde was almost summoned by drunk inccubi during a party once, or how diavolo cried when he was a kid because he sent a letter to caravaggio asking him to paint his portrait and he said no

also if you get drunk together expect really energetic talkative barbatos destroying DESTROYING everyone (except diavolo ofc)

“lucifer please i once saw you crying because you thought diavolo was ignoring you when you actually forgot to press the send button to your messages ”

if you’re romantically involved diavolo will always be first in his hear but that just means you’ll have to invite diavolo along on your dates which just means you’ve got a new lover and a new bff

solomon

he invites you on all kinds of wacky adventures

you visit witches, go to weird magical forest parties or orgies if you want, you go travelling the mountains for rare herbs

it’s like you’re faust and he’s mephisto haha the irony and he’s showing you another side of the world you never knew

ofc the others know about all this but??? they thought it’s normal and didn’t even consider you know nothing about it

but solomon knows what it was like to be just a human

and since he likes you he empathizes with your situation

he also make you meet all kinds of people

since he has 72 contracts and hundreds of years of doing wack stuff he must know some interesting people

and now his friends are your friends

i feel like romantic solomon would be just him?? but less shady with you especially since now you understand him better

but also he’ll probably bring you weird shit from his alone expeditions

did you ever want the tears of a mermaid? a carnivorous plant that feeds on emotions? a crying portrait? no? well too bad because now you have a room full of weird items

...that you love and treasure thank you very much

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asmo-ds · 4 years

Note

Hey hey! I just found your blog and I really like your work! Could I request hcs for the bros finding out about MC leaving rad early in tears because Mc received a confession note, asking them to show up at a certain place during lunch. When they arrived it turned out to be a sham, and they got water or some other kind of liquid dumped on them. Thank you!

Pranked!MC

~ I added a cute little idea that the confession note was signed under the name of said brother bc um yea <3 hope that is okay :)

- He caught wind of the incident from Diavolo when he asked Lucifer if MC was okay

- He gathered his things and headed home immediately, worried at MC but also a bit annoyed that they went somewhere without one of his brothers to protect them.

- “MC you can’t just come home without one of us to wal-” He opened the door and stopped as soon as he saw MC curled up in their bed, nose red and cheeks stained with tears

- He drops his serious act and sits on Mc’s bed rubbing their back while they explain the entire situation

- The fact that lower demons did that and thought they could get away with it absolutely infuriated him

- When he asks who the note was from MC freezes

- “T-they signed it under your name” MC mutters

- Lucifer’s heart skips a beat and he has a shocked expression

- His shock turns into smugness

- “So you went thinking you would meet me and I’d confess to you?” He grabs their chin to look into their eyes with a smirk

- MC didn’t get to leave Lucifer’s room that night bc he’s actually a cuddle bug lowkey I don't make the rules

- He noticed MC hadn’t exited their class yet and was annoyed that they were being slow.

- When one of MC’s friends come up to Mammon and explain they went home early he gets worried but also annoyed that the human would do something that could get him in trouble

- When he hears MC’s sniffling though his worry takes over and he’s holding them rubbing soothing circles between their shoulder blades with this thumbs

- Hearing what happened made him feel so angry and guilty

- He was angry that anyone had the nerve to hurt the person he loves, but he was feeling guilty that he wasn’t there for them in that moment

- To cheer MC up he could do one of two things

- He could start talking about plans to prank the punks right back that make no sense or are extreme and make MC laugh

- He could pull up Akuzon and go online shopping with Luci’s card all night with them

- When MC lets him read the note he notices that it was made to look like his handwriting and signature and his heart breaks that they would use him to hurt MC but suddenly he’s confused

- “W-w-wait you’re sayin you went there thinking you’d see me ?!”

- Levi had just finished one of his online classes when he heard the front door slam and someone stomping down the hallway sniffling

- He immediately peeked his head out and saw MC walking down the hall drenched in various liquids

- He immediately grabs them and pulls them into his room, handing them some of his clothes to change into and helping them wash all the liquid out of their hair (over the sink ofc our hbu wouldn’t be able to see MC naked without dying)

- MC explained everything to him, the confession note, the bullies, the food and water they’d thrown at them

- Levi entered his demon form without every realizing

- Without thinking he wrapped his tail around MC’s shouldersand they nuzzled their face into it

- Levi.exe has stopped working

- He asks if he can read the note, hoping to get a scent or something useful to find who did this to his Henry

- MC got all awkward and shifty as he read it and realized they had pretended to be him to lure MC to the location

- Gets all blushy and doesn’t know what to say so he just pulls mc in closer, laying with them in his bathtub until they both fell asleep

- He was actually picking up stuff at the library when he saw MC sprinting towards the house

- He followed them home without them realizing and was shocked to see them covered in today’s school lunch special

- He brings MC to the house’s library after they get all cleaned up and they vent to him about what happened

- He is in his demon form in second demanding to know who did this to them

- When MC gets scared he calms down and holds them until they stop shaking with sobs

- When he sees the letter poking out of MC’s bag he grabs it and reads it as they continue to hide their face in his shoulder

- Realizing MC thought it was him made him angrier but also giddy realizing MC probably returned his feelings

- instead of saying something that would embarrass them he opted to squeeze them tighter and closer to his chest and read to them quietly

- occasionally throughout the story he would leave kisses on MC’s head, neck or cheek

- Asmo was skipping classes to go shopping and was on his way home when he saw MC running towards the house in tears

- He tightened his grip on his bags and took off after them

- Inside the house he prepared his bath for them and let them get in the water so he couldn’t see their bits and he washed them and waited for them to be ready to talk

- When he finds out what happens he gets so angry but keeps his calm and bubbly demeanor

- Reassures MC that they’re all just jealous that they’re the only person as pretty as him

- When MC is done in the bath he does skin care and lays them on his bed when they get sleepy

- when they fall asleep he grabs the note and reads it and smiles when he sees his name but then gets angry that they used him that way

- He crawls onto the bed with MC and kisses their cheek and holds them for the rest of the night

- He found out when he overheard some of his teammates at practice recalling the event and snickering about their prank

- Uh those teammates are no longer alive Beel ate them

- When he gets home he sees MC in the kitchen, freshly showered and in their pajamas stirring a cup of tea absent mindedly

- He gives bear hugs bc he’s a big teddy bear

- MC cries to him and tells him what happened and he definitely did NOT regret eating the culprits

- He helps MC cheer up by baking with them

- When looking for a recipe in their bag, beel found the note and scanned over it, recognizing the signature to be a half assed copy of his own

- He gets really giddy realizing MC was going to meet him and was expecting to confess to him as well

- He lifts up MC and twirls them around talking about how glad he is they feel the same way

- peppers their face with kisses all night

- Noticing MC was absent from class he decided tk head home because he felt there was no point being at school if MC wasn’t there

- Goes up to the attic where MC is sat crying into a pillow

- He doesn’t say anything and just lays them down next to him and holds them while sobs come out of their mouth

- He waits for MC to start speaking as he wants to give them the time they need

- When he finds out what happened he texts Beel and tell him to take care of the lowly demons who dared to hurt their MC

- He demanded to read the note and his frown only grew as he realized they’d made MC think he was going to confess

- “I know it was kinda silly for me to believe, sorry Belphie. I know you don-“

- cuts them off with a kiss and reassured them that he loved them right back

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#om! swd #obey me beelzebub #asmodeous #beelzeebub #obey me lucifer #obey me hcs #obey me hc #obey me swd headcanons #om! headcannon #obey me headcannons #om! headcanons

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robotslenderman · 3 years

Text

Eternal Hearts Liveblog: Part 4: Chapter 7-8

An actual thing I told a friend when I started this draft: “These chapters have been a real let down in comparison [to the face-sitting/dick-key-ring guy chapter]. Altho I’m on the necrophilia chapter now so things are looking up!”

And we start off with a body in the trunk.

RIP Charley.

Don’t worry, he’s not the body involved with the necrophilia, because it wouldn’t be problematic enough otherwise.

WARNING: DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT! This a liveblog of Eternal Hearts, which is a book that got de-canoned about a week after publication for good fucking reason!

Today’s warnings are: Necrophilia, necrophiliac rape (”but Dusty, isn’t necrophilia by definition rape?” buddy I didn’t say the corpse was the one not consenting. This is, like, rape squared), fridged WLWs (I wish that was the worst thing that happened to this particular WLW), me pretending Sascha Vykos has a period kink until Lucy refuses to let me lie to myself any longer (it makes sense in context. Unfortunately), corrective rape mention, and the current chew toy of the universe getting kidnapped after we know somebody’s been hinting about wanting to rape her (not Becca).

Yeah it’s rape all the way down.

This chapter is worse than usual. At least dick keyring guy was funny, this chapter’s just...

dear fucking god shoot me now. “The necrophilia chapter” does not prepare you for what is coming (it’s not me. I’m not coming. I’m as dry as the Sahara)

Godspeed, you poor bastard. May god welcome you through the Pearly Gates, although I’m not sure Heaven exists in this shitty shitty universe.

Oh yeah and he wants to murder Becca, clearly.

Trust me, Lucy. WE KNOW. Dude’s gotten laid twice and all he can think about is his sister and it’s the only way he can get off, ewwwww.

Like -- full disclosure? Brother/sister incest, when consensual, has never really fazed me at all. There’s way sicker shit out there (see: this entire fucking novel) than two adults consensually fucking and I really don’t care. “Ooooh, they’re ~*~SIBLINGS~*~, aren’t I an edgelord?” no man I honestly don’t give a shit.

But there’s that, and then there’s... this.

Touching David’s dick or being forced to touch his dick is gross no matter how distant you both are in the gene pool.

Poor Becca. Poor, poor Becca.

Jesus fucking Christ. Do I really need to comment on this one?

David reminisces on his first rapes of Becca. He uses the word “nymphet” which, if you’re well read enough, you’ll recognise as the same word Humbert Humbert uses to describe Dolores in Lolita, specifically a word that he used to describe sexually attractive (to him, mind) ~13YOs.

So he raped her that night and ofc he thought she liked it (which is why he’s calling it “rape”, obviously). Loud sigh. And we get descriptions of the rapes -- Becca takes escalating precautions to protect herself up until she threatens him with a knife, at which point the rapes stop. Because nothing says “I wanna have sex with you” like locking your door and threatening your bro with a knife.

So he’s raped her three times.

Now he wants revenge for her telling Emmet to check him into rehab. Specifically, revenge with his dick.

So David goes to Becca’s house, presumably to rape her, because that’s all he can fucking think about. He is hyperfocused on this bullshit.

Luckily for both Becca, there’s nobody there. Except the girlfriend, who’s dead, because the poor fuck got stuck in a room with Sascha fucking Vykos. And a creepy AF vampire.

(David briefly fantasises about Emmet and Becca banging each other bc... Reasons I guess???)

Anyway, David breaks in and meets a creepy vampire.

Look, let me tell you upfront here, spoilers galore: the Eternal Hearts wiki page lied. This isn’t actually Isabel, it’s Sascha, even though “Isabel” hears a sound and calls out to “Sascha”, thinking it’s Sascha, because of... idk, Reasons???

Look, consistency isn’t this book’s strong point, okay?

Anyway they’re Sascha Vykos, not Isabel, but we don’t actually find that out ‘til chapter nine. So Sascha’s hanging out there, pretending to be Isabel, and is like “ohh hey, I heard a noise, is it... ME???”

Oh yeah, and “Isabel” has beheaded Becca’s girlfriend and is drinking the blood out of the severed head like an edgelord.

I’m choosing to believe that Sascha Vykos brought a blood bag over to indulge a period kink and that the blood between their thighs has nothing to do with the severed head they were just sucking on.

(Blame the author, not me, I’m just the fucking messenger.)

Saschabel starts masturbating. With their fingers. I think it’s really important to stress that they’re using their fingers, given what’s coming up later.

They know David is watching, they’re taunting him. They also think the poor corpse is Becca and are like “hey why don’t you eat me out and taste your sister’s blood?” because Saschabel just HAPPENED TO HAVE A BLOOD BAG IN IT WITH BECCA’S BLOOD LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU

Even David is like “yeah, no.” And also has a surprising amount of sense:

And then:

BLOOD BAGS ARE GREAT FOR PERIOD KINKS AM I RIGHT

Aaaaand then Saschabel grabs the severed head and then starts --

AAAUGH

OH GOD

WHY

WHYYYYYYYY

There goes the blood bag/period kink idea. God fucking DAMN IT. You couldn’t let me just HAVE THIS for ONCE, could you, Eternal Hearts?!?!

David realises that the corpse isn’t Becca because its (her? fuck) tits aren’t big enough. Also he has a huge boner. Saschabel has noted this fact.

Saschabel also somehow knows that David wants to bone his sister, because...??? idk. Auspex or something.

and uh

then David starts making out with them.

?????????????????????????????????????????

because what Saschabel was just doing was... really hot? yeah nothing turns David on like corpsefucking I guess. And also lapping up the blood on Sascha’s stomach. dear god dude you’re not even a vampire what the fuck you’ve got NO EXCUSE.

David is about to screw Saschabel senseless but Saschabel is like “lol, no, you’re gonna do the corpse first.”

David is like WHAT.

Saschabel is like “(:” and also makes a pun about heads.

Honestly that terrible pun is the most tasteful part of this whole chapter.

(Actually no, scratch that, Saschabel compares David’s expression to an “untipped waiter” and that is genuinely funny. Dude’s about to be raped by proxy with a corpse and his reaction is compared to an untipped waiter.)

(Yeah that isn’t funny at all but look, if I don’t laugh I’ll cry so I’m choosing to laugh.)

David finally gives in to Saschabel’s threats and goes to town and we get to hear about it in sordid detail, which I will spare you. And thankfully, after an explicit couple of paragraphs, we cut to chapter fucking eight!

Thank. Fucking. CHRIST.

This chapter introduces us to Tony, who is a vampire hunter because he’s an adrenaline junky.

Tony daydreams about his guns, then gets horny:

Dude don’t fuck your prey, that’s just --

I changed my mind, fuck your prey as much as you like, it’s gonna be less rapey than this insinuation because at least if you rape a vampire they’ll rape you right back so we won’t feel as gross.

We cut to Odette, the woman Tony is thinking rapey thoughts about, who’s tailing Lucita and thinking about how she could run like hell right now if she wanted.

(PLEASE, RUN. RUNNN. RUN FAR AWAAAAAY)

And then she gets a flashback about being raped by a camp counselor, because... idk why not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is actually really sad, because Odette is absolutely torn about running away from Victoria -- wanting to be free, but also too scared to leave, and too devoted to Victoria to leave. And also Victoria’s clearly been using Auspex on her, and Odette is scared of her mind reading powers.

Lucita seems to spot Odette, and turns around and heads towards her. But before she can reach Odette:

I presume this is Tony, the guy who wants to rape her.

Poor fucking goddamn Odette.

End chapter eight!

#Eternal Hearts liveblog #Eternal Hearts cw because like... if I listed all the warnings again we'd be here ALL DAY #and possibly I'd get the FBI overreaching their jurisdiction just to make me STOP #please kill me #wait actually #given what happened in chapter seven I'd just rather you didn't #I'll make do with a coma or something #VTM #Eternal Hearts #oh god that was horrible #rape cw #I can't believe I forgot to add that Jesus

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ether-gearhead · 3 years

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Because Tumblr user @sharlettehatesmiasma just HAD to go and prove itself a prime fucking example of why NaLus and MAGAs are fundamentally one and the same, now I gotta write a whole-ass essay just to keep her from shouting over me (incidentally a favorite MAGA tactic as well)! This is gonna need a cut, isn’t it?

By the way, this is all in the context of our prior conversation, so it may not exactly make sense. So yeah, this needed a cut anyway. I feel better about that at least.

“Lmao Lucy never tried any seduction tricks with Natsu. The dolls Hakune made were pretty much acting like what they act around Natsu(except nakedness). Lisanna used to tease Natsu about getting married, Erza always talks about taking bath together, Wendy said Natsu was her big bro and then we have Lucy who never ever showed this much obvious feelings for Natsu(totally opposite, she always denies). That's what I'm saying lol. Hakune's magic is known to all so that doesn't Have confusion at all. The difference in our points are solely based on what we think about that thing or what we wanna see.”

Obviously she’s never tried to seduce Natsu, but she’s tried seduction around him before. In fact, I’m surprised Lucy’s doll didn’t repeat “We’ll be together forever, right?” But the fact she went straight for seduction makes me think, at least compared to everyone else, that all else aside, Natsu’s view of Lucy is more sexual than with the other girls, which I guess is a point for NaLu

“Well the pseudo marriage thing Idk really. I mean ofc I would also value the moments spent with my childhood friend(romatically or not). He values his friends more than his life. But I mean, Natsu being interested in 2 girls just doesn't sit with me well lol. He really doesn't have any clear concept about love as you said. That's what prevented Hakune from bringing the real love intetest from within his mind. For Gray, it was utterly clear so Hakune brought Juvia but We're talking about a dumbass hero here lol.”

So friendship has nothing to do with it, yet he values his friends more than his life?! Which is it?! And by the way, you’re flip-flopping on Hakune’s power again! Is it a love interest or just women he’d die for?! No concept of consistency whatsoever, yet another shared hallmark of NaLus and MAGAs!

The fact that you dismiss Natsu as a “dumbass hero

Ooh, hey, I can go back to this now!

“How does this have to do anything with friendship theme?! I mean it would've made sense if he left the letter for entire team Natsu after Tartarus battle, if he had gone to the other members of team Natsu after defeating Acnologia or if he had told "we'll be together forever to Gray, Erza or Wendy" lol. And I already said if Mashima wants to go on a Kishimoto route, which means turning tables on the fanbase then he definitely should start NaLi development rn. I mean Something solid which will make Natsu think that he's in love with Lisanna instead of Lucy.”

Of course Lucy was the only one who’d get a letter! Gray had END to worry about, Wendy was in the same boat he was, and assuming she could read his handwriting, Erza would just storm after him and drag him back herself! But that’s what happens when you condition yourself to not register anything non-NaLu-related, I guess.

And Natsu didn’t “go” to Lucy after defeating Acnologia! He just fell right out onto her from the Space Between Time! Gaslighting’s another thing you guys have in common with the MAGAs, by the way.

Also, if you’re type of person to think Gray, Erza, or Wendy doesn’t know they’re stuck with Natsu all the way by this point, you’re probably not the type of person who can capably dress themselves. I’ll thank you not to use others as your mouthpieces a la MAGA, by the way.

“And about Natsu having interest in 2 girls. I'm not being rude to you bc we have different choices and I don't wanna argue with someone while discussing a simple topic. But that doesn't really mean I can't be rude.”

A boy who doesn't understand love can't be intetested in 2 girls. And Natsu waiting for the moment Lisanna/Lucy makes a move on him also seems off bc that means he's willingly pulling the act of dense dumbass boy. That's all.”

The fact that you dismiss Natsu as a “dense dumbass boy” tells me NOTHING ABOUT NATSU IN 545 CHAPTERS OF FAIRY TAIL HAS REGISTERED WITH YOU WHATSOEVER!!!” As a dense dumbass boy myself, lemme walk you through some things.

You’re eleven years old. You raise an egg with this girl you know. While warming the egg, she starts teasing you about her being your wife. You get embarrassed about it, but you actually like the idea a little.

The egg hatches, and you and the girl start playing house with the hatchling. You’re the daddy, she’s the mommy. All is well for four years, until she dies in an accident on the job, and maybe you wanted her to be your wife for real after all.

A couple years later, you meet a girl in a harbor town while searching for your missing father figure. Turns out she wants to work where you just so happen to work, so you bring her home with you. As time goes by and you start to work together, you realize she makes you feel the same way your lost pseudo-wife did, and suddenly, everything is okay again, for the first time in two years.

And then, circumstances conspire, and you learn that the girl you thought dead is very much alive. You take care of all your business with the people who took her in, and everyone celebrates her safe return home.

But there’s a problem. Your new co-worker still makes you feel that same way your pseudo-wife did. What’s more, your pseudo-wife still makes you feel that way today. You know precious little about boy meeting girl, but you do know from your pseudo-wife’s sister and her gentle reminders to your older co-worker who likes to flirt with her that he has a wife at home that you’re not supposed to feel that way about two different girls.

You don’t want either girl to hate you for admitting how the other girl makes you feel. So you put it out of your head for now, and focus on earning a promotion at work.

This is the tale of a dense dumbass boy in love, despite being too much of a dense, dumbass boy to know what that even is.

#sharlettehatesmiasma

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doctorwhat0511 · 3 years

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MY rewrite of Supernatural 15x19

Okay just to put this out there,,, this isn’t gonna be perfect and ofc we don’t know what happens in the next episode so this might mess things up but this is kinda how I wish the episode went. I did keep most of the dialogue and plot stuff from the actual episode but yeah I’ve been thinking about it and idk y’all fanfic writers can do what you want,,

So like,,, we start off the episode maybe with Dean listening to Sam’s voicemails. We just get shots of whats happened throughout the season as Sam is calling Dean over and over and he’s just not answering cause ~feels~ and it shows the last scene with everyone disappearing and finally Cas’ total homosexual declaration of love~~

Finally it cuts to Sam and Jack walking back into the bunker to look for Dean. Dean’s like passed out drunk on the floor in the same spot he was when Cas disappeared. Sam is worried as fuck of course and just trying to get answers and stuff for why Dean hasn’t been answering until Jack interrupts and asks where Cas is.

Dean explains everything that happened and Sam is trying to talk to him but Dean is just like “nah man I don’t wanna talk about it” and as he’s walkin out of the room he still says “I’m sorry” to Jack.

It cuts to scenes of Jack lying in the bed (mourning ofc cause his dad died and all) and Sam is researching stuff. At this point I’m guessing maybe a couple days pass or maybe hours idkk. Anyways so Dean comes out (of his room not the closet ya turkeys) and scoffs at Sam. Sam is like “w a t?” and Dean basically tells him that its pointless to keep researching cause they lost. Sam tells him that they can’t just give up. Dean is like ofc they can,, they get into an argument. Eventually it gets to Cas and Sam tells Dean “Cas wouldn’t want u to give up” “Well Cas is dead” “W e l l then don’t make him die for nothing,,, Im still fighting,, Still fighting for the hope that one day I can get Eileen back. That one day we get one last miracle” “Miracle? Miracles don’t exist” (Did this cause DOG)

And then Jack is like ~OOP I feel something~ Sam and Dean share The Look™ They’re driving to find the thing Jack’s talking about and then the scene with Miracle the Dog happens. Dean is like “Like I told you man, Miracles don’t exist”. They get to the church with Michael there. They do the whole talk thing and Michael wants to help cause he lost his human (ADAM).

This is the part of the story I don’t have completely figured out yet so y’all can do it for me. Anyways so for this part I had some ideas but you can change obv.

Michael explains how it took 4 archangels to take down Chuck so they try to get 3 others to help. I know Uriel isn’t an archangel but idc I was thinking they’d get Luci, Michael, Uriel and Gabriel back. They’d either do this by idk somehow summoning The Empty to give them back maybe. This would give another opportunity to talk about ~Cas~. ANyways, Empty agrees to Luci, Uriel and Gabirel but not Cas unfortunately ://

We could fit in some funny scenes between Michael and Luci cause lets be honest,, this would be iconic,, Gabriel is just being Gabriel and it would be nice to have Michael, LUci and Gabe all together :)),, and I think we could have some good scenes between Uriel and Dean (ANother Cas opportunityyy). Anyways so I don’t have this part planned out much either :P so do what you want.

Cause idk how to get to this next part (I was thinking maybe they try opening the Death book again but it doesn’t work, Michael and Luci fight again so Jack absorbs more power,, Gabriel could intervene,,, They have a bro to bro to bro talk and make up finally AT LASTT)

ANYWHO so we get to the place they all meet,, like the forest cliff place?? ANyways so they do the summoning thing for CHuck and he appears to stop them. CHuck reveals that Michael told him the entire plan. Chuck still tries to kill MIchael (cause that scene was SO GOOD) excpet he DOESN’T cause surprise bitchess,, Gabe, Luci and Uriel come out ready to fight. A big ‘ol epic battle breaks out (all this time Jack is getting JUICED) until CHuck has had enough and beats them all. Chuck is like seriosuly,,, ya tried to beat mE?? With 3 archagels?? (ofc they just needed to distract Chuck long enough for our jacka-boy)

The scene where Chuck beats up Sam and Dean but they keep getting up still happens cause DAMN that scene was POWERFUL as FUCK. And then,,,

“Why are you smiling?” “Because. You lose.”

BOOM BANG BOOM,, Jack is there and CHuck is like “what the fuck??” Jack absorbing his powers happens (except we see both black and the white veins to show that hey amara is still there and now its JACK that has the one black eye and one white eye)

Sam and Dean can explain the real plan,, blah blah blah,, Chuck is begging or his life here ofc. Sam and Dean are like “bye bitch”. CHuck even begs to Michael but Michael is like “bye bitch” now it’s your turn to be abandoned and forgotten hah. and they drive off. and rob is his amazing self.

They get back to the town and they all have a Winchester Talk™ and Jack snaps his fingers and everyone (yes and the dog) comes back! We show a montage of everyone returning like Jodie, Donna and Claire and Kaia, Charlie and Stevie, Kevin with his mOm, Becky and her husband and kids, Michael and Adam and finally Eileen comes back,, EVERYONE COMES BACK BABYY (not in the same place ofc).

Dean asks Jack about Cas~~ Jack is like “I don’t know,, Everyone was supposed to come back,,” (save the gripping cas tight and raising him from perdition for the next ep ;)))

Anyways so Jack says his goodbye speech and our nougat boi walks away. Angels talk about what they’re gonna do and walk away. Adam/MIchael has that Moment™ with Dean that just because they don’t get what they want right away, doesn’t mean it’ll never happen~~

Sam and Dean are back in the bunker. Sam says sorry to Dean about Cas. He knows how much he meant to him- to everyone. Dean is like “WELP that how life b.” Sam is like “Well maybe we can find some way to bring him back?” Dean is like “Maybbeeeee,, it’d take a fricken miracle~~ Buuuttt--

Idk y’all make it up. Anyways so they talk about how they’re finally free. They can do whatever they want. They leave,, we see Cas and Jack’s names on the table, we have that amazing montage and BOOM. Episode over.

So those are my opinions, feel free to share yours :))) I did leave a couple scenes out so if you wanna add stuff back in (or delete) idc, do what feels right to you. I just typed this up now so it’s baddd and messy and I’m not a fanfic writer so if you like this version, feel free to use it and if you do PLS send me a link cause I wanna read it :DD

#dontspoilthefinalhunt #SPN #Destiel #supernatural #SPNFamily #Supernatural theories #fanfiction

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deckerstarwrites · 4 years

Text

wanted plots for my 1x1 blog @mostpxculiar as well as fcs I’d like to play/play opposite to. please like this post, or dm me if you’d like to discuss any of these plots further! tw: nsfw/smut plots cheating, pregnancy, murder/blood, under the cut.

plots i want, but also please come at me with plots YOU want!

a plot based off of fleabag/hot priest from fleabag

someone should give me a plot with this big bad gang leader and his super soft and cute girlfriend that has him wrapped around her finger. like he’s a feared man, which she doesn’t really care about. and she’s there to patch him up and while he usually tries to hide her away from the cruel world he’s in whenever he isn’t there with her, she just patiently waits for him when he’s out and about doing his business and he’s so fascinated by her and no matter how much of a bad guy he is, he’s just so soft for her and he’d do anything for her!!! and then his most precious possession gets kidnaped and shit goes down snsnsns (m/f, f/f)

f/f plot where a snobby, graceful, poised and rich prima ballerina falls in love with a reckless pole dancer who is super hot with a 6 pack and colourful hair and the girls are total polar opposites pls hmu

a plot where muse a just needs to get away from everything so she packs up everything into her small shitty car that barley runs and just drives. she loses count of the boarders she crossed until she lands right into the middle of a small town where the population is like 2 thousand and her car breaks down. so she goes into a diner that she sees is open and she asks about a mechanic so the lady in the diner calls up her friend who happens to be muse b, the local mechanic. so muse b comes over and tells her that he wont be able to check her car out until morning bc its like 10 pm now so muse a is going to check into a motel or smth but muse b offers to put her up for the night and bc shes broke she says yeah and basically they end up banging with the intention that after tomorrow they are never gonna see each other again - wrong. muse b goes down to his shop and looks at the engine and a really important parts gone in it and its going to take a couple weeks for it to come in and basically muse a has to stay in this shitty small town for the next couple of weeks AND THEY FALL FOR EACH OTHER AND WE CAN FIGURE THE REST OUT! (m/f, f/f)

I really want a one night stand where she snuck out before he woke up and he tried looking her up but he didn’t even know her full name, so he moved on. Move on years down the road and he’s just gotten engaged and at the engagement part he’s introduced to her sister that’s been living overseas for the past few days, but who is it, that girl from all those years ago. Better yet, meet her child, wait, why do they his eyes.

modern hades and persephone where persephone is a tired college student and when she finds out the god of the underworld wants to make her his bride she’s like “become queen of the dead AND never have to go to an 8 AM lecture again, not to mention watch with popcorn as my ex dies and finds out my new boyfriend is his new king? YES PLZ” and just fucking swandives down into the underworld and hades is like “…i had a carriage prepared but okay that works too”

plot three. six months ago he let the nanny give him head. he has been avoiding talking to her since, and is really flustered. she is a full time, live in nanny in their giant mansion. i’m getting a ‘living in england’ vibe, but i’m not sure. he has 3-4 kids running around with his wife of years. the nanny can’t stand the wife, but is obviously polite. his wife is bitchy, whiny, and all she cares is about appearances. who cares if you’re actually happy? just play happy. pretend to be happy. the nanny loves to fluster him when the wife isn’t home. she’ll wear short outfits, lean over, not wear underwear, forget to wear a bra. it was a holiday. so they invited the nanny to eat dinner with them. she starts rubbing him under the table. later on that day, he pulls the nanny to the side into the bathroom or something to tell her that she had to cut it out and that it was a one time thing. out of the blue - he kisses her hard. just give me lots of behind the wives back, and maybe she gets pregnant down the line?

ok but i need a plot where there’s these two idiots who are roommates, and they bicker and act like a married couple constantly, and can hang out like bros but they’re completely platonic, no we’re not in love that’s preposterous!! and it’s so evident that they’re into each other like whenever one goes out on a date, the other is all bitter like ‘no i’m definitely not jealous’. and they like leave bars together at some stupidly early hour and their friends tease them and they just go home and get drunk together instead. and like domestic washing the dishes and fighting over who does what and flinging soap at each other. and then one day it kind of just clicks, you know, like wow you’re my best friend but i think i might love you as more this is so difficult and just, give this to me now. (m/f, f/f)

not to be dramatic or anything but i really want a sugar daddy/sugar baby plot where the muse a is “ happily ” married ceo of a big company with shit tons of money and muse a goes out to a local bar just to chill when they meet muse b. ofc they hit it off and go in muse a’s car and fuck all night and in the morning muse a offers muse b a proposition, if muse b agrees to be muse a’s mistress then muse a will give muse b anything they want starting their sugar baby/sugar daddy relationship. it’s all good until muse a sees muse b all over another guy and looses it and gets into a huge fight with muse b that ends with muse a fucking muse b up against his car and yea gimmie this smut i need sneaky around and sexting while around his wife nd getting him riled up like yes pls thank

bloody , murderous & psychotic couples who love killing people for the thrill and make out with bloody lips and high five each other by the mountains of dead bodies they made . fuckyeah ? give me this crazy shit . serial killer couples . vampire couples . dark romeo & juliet couples . modern au persephone & hades couples . couples who compete to see who kills the most or the most gruesome . give me gore . give me bloodshed . GIVE IT TO ME ! (m/f, f/f) (focusing a lot on hades/persephone, vampires but willing to go the bonnie and clyde or serial killer route)

no offense but i need a messy exes plot where they can’t get over one another no matter what they do and they always tell themselves they’re not gonna go back to them yet every time they get done with a date they end up knocking on the other person’s door and just jealousy and angst and heartbreak and crying because they don’t know if this is ever going to work out but they can’t walk away because this person is still their whole fucking world and they don’t know how to move on (m/f, f/f)

faceclaims I’d like to play and play against or both but also literally come at me with your fcs!!!

Inbar Lavi

Tom Ellis

Lauren German

Sophia Bush

Trevante Rhodes

Zoe Saldana

Madelaine Petsch

Camila Mendes

Lesley Ann Brandt

Manny Montana

Diane Guerrero

Adria Arjona

Ana De Arms

Aisha Dee

Chris Evans

Ryan Gosling

John Krazinski

Matt Czuchry

Lana Condor

Elizabeth Lail

Anya Charlotra

Victoria Pedretti

Zazie Beetz

Shay Mitchell

Candice Patton

Margot Robbie

Florence Pugh

Lucy Liu

Jodie Comer

Katie Mcgrath

Justin Baldoni

Indya Moore

Oscar Isaac

Matthew Daddario

Tessa Thompson

#[[wanted plot]]#[[wanted opposite]]#[[wanted fc]]#1x1 rp #1x1

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ourloveisforthelovely · 6 years

Text

Fix You 17

A/n: no warnings

Link to Chapter 16

Words: 1, 896

Pairings: Gabriel X OFC

_________

Lucifer looked over his shoulder making sure that Molly and JoyAnna were out of the room before turning to Gabriel

“You need to skip to my Lou my darlin and get on my side.”

Gabriel looked at Lucifer with a less than pleased expression.

“I would rather slam my hand in a drawer. Either start talking Lucifer or get lost. I have to worry about keeping my family safe.”

Lucifer looked honestly hurt.

“What am I Gabe? I'm your family too! I'm not here to raise some hell with you or make you angrier than you already appear to be. I am here because I care for you and for my kid! I want Michael to die a slow painful death as much as the next guy but that kid in there, your kid, is in some real bad danger that you can't handle on your own.”

Gabriel stood with his arms crossed glaring at Lucifer for a few moments.

“You didn't answer my question. What did Michael specifically say about JoyAnna and Molly?”

Lucifer leaned back in his seat at the kitchen island and held his hands up.

“What do you want me to say Gabriel? He said he wanted to kill them and make you watch the light leave their eyes? Is that good enough for you because it freaked me the hell out! Look Gabe, I know that we aren't pals....”

“Understatement.”

Gabriel snapped. Lucifer sighed before giving his brother an annoyed glare.

“Uh yeah! IF you will keep your snark to the minimum that would be great! I want to help you! What happened with us, Gabriel? You and I were pals. We were closer than Michael and Raphael ever were. It was you and me against the world! What about all of the times that you did some of your tricks and they went bad? I took the fall for you because it killed me to see you upset. Oh Christ look at me going over all of these feels while you just stand there!”

“Daddy?”

Both Gabriel and Lucifer froze. Gabriel looked down to see JoyAnna by his foot again. Muttering a few curse words at Lucifer in Enochian, Gabriel bent down picking Joy up.

“I told you to stay in there.”

JoyAnna gave Gabriel a disapproving expression.

“Its not nice to call someone all of those name you just called him. Daddy am I going to die?”

Gabriel's mouth dropped as he looked at his little girl's sweet face. He glanced to Lucifer who muttered “oh my dad” before standing up and turning his back. Looking back to JoyAnna, Gabriel shook his head.

“Absolutely not!”

Lucifer meanwhile, walked over and held his hands out. Joy didn't fight when Lucifer took her from Gabriel's arms. He walked across the kitchen

“Sweetheart, let me tell you about this big dummy named Michael. A long long time ago, before you were even thought of, it was Michael, your Jimmy Buffet loving Uncle Raphael, your daddy, and me in heaven. Michael was the biggest bossiest meanie head. Your daddy and I used to play tricks on him. One time your daddy even dyed his wings pink. Lets just say it wasn't his color, sweetheart. Anyway, point of this story, we are ten times more powerful than Michael. He may have some goons and morons at his disposal but its nothing we can't handle. Your daddy and those other people around here won't let anything happen to you. I won't either. Deal?”

JoyAnna glanced at Gabriel. The expression on his face still made her nervous. She knew that her dad was super wary about everything that Lucifer was saying. Turning her head back to her uncle, JoyAnna smiled.

“Deal.”

About that time the door opened and Jack walked in. He froze the moment that he spotted Lucifer holding his cousin. Right away Jack was ready to freak out. He immediately turned to Gabriel.

“What are you thinking?”

He half yelled. Lucifer meanwhile, smiled seeing Jack. He smiled genuinely.

“Jack. Its so good to see you.”

Gabriel meanwhile, looked at his nephew with exhausted eyes before walking over and pulling him out of the room by his shirt. Lucifer gave Joy a smile.

“Everyone is so friendly here.”

JoyAnna giggled.

“You must really be one something Uncle Luci.”

Meanwhile, Jack angrily pulled away from Gabriel as his uncle closed the door behind him.

“You let him in here and near Joy! Near me!”

Gabriel held a hand up.

“Cool it junior! Look, he was the one that told us about Michael. I'm keeping my eyes on him and Cas is too. If he puts a toe out of line I will gladly kill him. He knows where we stand. You need to trust me on this one. I've been around a lot longer and know what can happen, feel me? I need you to chill. I'm not asking you to go and be his pal. In fact go be an ass for all I care but don't you dare think that I would intentionally put Joy or you in any danger.”

Jack looked down before nodding.

“I'm sorry.”

Gabriel nodded, motioning to the door with his head.

“Its fine, go on.”

Jack looked at his uncle a moment longer. He realized that there was more to what was going on then what Gabriel was telling him.

“Gabriel?”

“Just go.”

He replied. Gabriel's voice was calm but there was an edge to it that Jack wasn't used to. The boy turned, leaving his uncle alone in the laundry room.

Jack didn't look at Lucifer as he walked back through the kitchen. He could only hope that Gabriel knew what he was talking about!

Later that night, after Molly put Joy to bed, she sat quietly beside Gabriel listening to everything that Lucifer had told him earlier. She put a hand on her head trying to take everything in. Lucifer looked at her sympathetically.

“I know its a lot to take in.”

Molly scoffed.

“A little...Michael is a fool to think that he can get much out of a little girl.”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow.

“A powerful little girl. Forgive me for saying so darlin but Michael could mold her to do whatever he wanted. If he got you and Gabriel out of the way well....his field day.”

Meanwhile upstairs...

JoyAnna lay sleeping when a soft fluttering noise caught her attention. She turned over to see a young man standing beside her bed. With a frown she reached over to turn the light but he snapped his hands stopping her.

“You must be JoyAnna. My my you really are a cutie!”

Joy rubbed her eyes.

“Who are you? Don't you think its a little rude to be materializing in people's bedroom?”

The man chuckled.

“You are sarcastic, just like your father.”

Joy didn't like the way the man mentioned anything related to Gabriel.

“Yeah, well you get what you get. Who are you anyway?”

The man smiled.

“I'm your uncle Michael. I've come to see you.”

Joy's mouth dropped and she looked around nervously.

“Uh why aren't your wings pink?”

Michael's pleasant expression went negative.

“Lovely, you heard that story.”

Joy nodded as she snapped her fingers sending the archangel flying across the room and into the wall. It took maybe two seconds for the door to slam open. Gabriel and Jack stood in the doorway. Both of their expressions went from panicked to straight pissed off. Jack quickly ran to Joy yanking her into his arms as Gabriel stepped between them looking down at Michael.

“Jeez Michael. Did a little girl knock you on your ass? Doesn't say much for your so called skills.”

Michael growled angrily before jumping up and landing a punch in Gabriel's face. Gabriel shook off the impact after a few moments. Ignoring the blood gushing down his face, he was able to land more punches on Michael. Glancing over his shoulder he could see Jack with a petrified Joy in his arms.

“Jack get her out of here!”

He yelled as Joy began screaming for him over and over again. The moment that Michael slammed a knife into his shoulder, Joy really began to cry. Gabriel looked down at the kitchen knife with a bemused expression.

“A steak knife? Really Michael? Do you think that would really hurt me? Must have lost your touch, big brother.”

Michael blinked before growling angrily.

“I'll be back.”

Michael snapped his fingers instantly disappearing.

“What the the hell is going on in here?”

Gabriel and Jack turned to see Molly and Lucifer run in. Both stopped seeing the blood oozing out of the wound in Gabriel's shoulder and nose.

“Gabe?”

Molly managed to get out as Jack quickly walked from the room trying to calm his little cousin down. Gabriel looked up at his wife's panicked expression. Lucifer looked at tad nervous himself.

“It was Michael. That fucker stabbed me with a steak knife! Can you believe that shit?”

After another moment or two the wounds had healed themselves leaving Gabriel back to the way he looked before. Molly walked over cupping his face in her hands.

“Gabriel, what were you thinking? He could have killed you.”

Gabriel smacked her hands away.

“It was me or the kid. You want me to grow up and be the dad that I am supposed to be one minute. Now you want me to be more careful! You are gonna have to pick one peach because I can't do everything!”

Molly looked down at the ground. She knew that Gabriel was hyped up on adrenaline and probably didn't mean what he said. Molly stood a moment longer before walking from the room. It was probably best that she and Gabriel be apart right now.

Lucifer looked after Molly before looking back to Gabriel who was trembling.

“Uh was that the best thing that you could come up with? I think she was worried about you?”

Gabriel growled.

“She always worries! I walk by a black cat, she worries. I walk under a ladder, I can't leave the house for a damn month. She treats me like a baby.”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow.

“Bro you are kinda acting like one. Can't believe that I am being the sane one here but she's your wife. Its in her job description.”

Gabriel looked up at his brother's face.

“I guess I can be hard on her. This crap situation is just making me nutty.”

Lucifer shrugged.

“From what little me old me gathered you two have the bad habit of running from each other when the tough gets going. Maybe its time that you two go your merry ways and you can co parent little short stuff in peace. Kid is gonna figure out whats going on soon enough if she doesn't already. Molly's a nice girl but I don't think that we as archangel's are meant to be with anyone...cute nephilim included. Well later, I'm going to watch me some reality TV...wanna watch some people whose lives are bigger train wrecks than mine.”

____________

@sumara62

@treblebeth

@tas898

@authoressskr

@li0nh34rt

@sherala007

@greenappleeyes

@everyjourneylove

#Gabriel #Gabriel x OFC #Supernatural Fan Fiction #lucifer #gabriel fanfiction #GABRIEL THE ARCHANGEL

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moonraccoon-exe · 7 years

Note

Hullo! o/ Chocobros meets smol Ardyn anon here. I have another potentially fun request for you. How about Cor having to deal with smol Regis and gang? Or the bros reacting to them being smol. You can decide which one to do. :'D Thank you in advance!

Hallo! I’m sorry for taking so long. I’ve been constantly thinking on this and I think I’ll do both XD Apologies in advance for grammar mistakes, this isn’t second-read.

Let’s see what happens!

Everyone beware…

Cor deals with the rest of the Accordo Squad turned Smol, & bonus with The chocobros meet the complete Smol Accordo Squad (that means, yes, there is smol Cor too)

Let’s look for an excuse clarify; the baby/smol form is result of a status ailment.

For some reason (it’s Regis’ fault), the Accordo Squad decided to meet again for “the same of old days”.

So there goes the Accordo Team, on for a little journey for mere fun in the wild.

There’s this moment in which they’re making fun of Cor because he’s the youngest and back in the old days he was fifteen, so there where the rest had beards or adult height or an ID, Cor was this lanky teen.

They start treating him and speaking to him like he’s a baby, pinching cheeks and doing baby voice and all.

Mixing the words Cor and Baby, Cid has come up with the name “Corby” and they won’t stop calling him that.

There’s a point where they stumble upon this daemon they’ve never seen before and before they rush into action, Clarus pulls Cor back to their hideout behind a rock like

“Leave this to the adults, baby Cor.”

“FINE, go see how you handle it yourselves. Without me you all turn into a real mess of babies.”

Cor waits there but when he hears things get bad he jumps to action and kills the daemon, careful not to touch the cloud of steam it left behind, and nervously waiting for his teammates to come out of it.

When the cloud fades, there’s nothing but their clothes OHFUCK

But then Cor sees movements under the clothes and from under them four goddamn babies crawl out all confused and OH FUCK.

Tbh Cor just stands there and watches the babies.

“…this isn’t what I meant with ‘turn into babies’.”

Welp, Cor has no option but to deal with them:

Cor is currently trying to figure a way of herding four babies at once.

He doesn’t want to carry any of them.

Cor’s pretty sure the guys are conscious and will remember and will make fun of him for the rest of his life, and he won’t give them the pleasure.

He’s trying to keep them in a pack and making them crawl in the same direction.

Doesn’t work.

Baby Weskham sits there watching him, but Baby Cid is pretty SURE he saw a bunny so he’s furiously crawling after it.

Baby Regis just accidentally poked his eye with the cane and baby Clarus is hitting the cane for hitting his best friend and making him cry >:’(

Cor recovers baby Cid but now baby Regis just damn disappeared and, ofc, so did baby Clarus

“WESKHAM WHERE DID THEY GO!?”

Baby Weskham tilts the head with an adorable baby noise of question.

Baby Weskham is confused.

Cor drops baby Cid to go look for the other two.

Cor ends up carrying all four babies at once because this is a mess.

There’s baby Weskham and baby Regis each in an arm.

Baby Clarus is on his head.

Baby Cid is thrown onto his shoulder.

Cor tried phoning Monica to come save him (because Cid had the brilliant idea of HEY what about we go by feet!? So there’s no car he can use to return home).

Monica hung up on him when he told her “The guys just turned into babies”.

Also his phone died after that call.

Cor has no option but to deal with the babies until he finds somebody that could help him.

Cor had to go buy baby clothes.

The cashier kept staring at him because he was still carrying all four babies like that. They’re nude.

“…wow…y-your…your wife gave birth to four at once…”

“Oh. I…I have no- these are not my children.”

The cashier is terrified.

Actually, Cor isn’t bad at parenting; he had practice with the baby chocobros back in the days, so he knows how to put diapers on them.

The problem is making the four stay still while he does.

Weskham is a treasure that doesn’t move.

Cid and Regis…*defeated sigh*

Clarus is troubles too, but Regis is worse than he is.

“I thought I was done when your children grew up, I don’t have the patience for this shit anymore.”

It’s four babies, please understand Cor.

There goes Cor the Immortal Nanny, carrying two babies on the back and two more on the front.

At first he had put Clarus and Regis together and Cid and Weksham together, but had to rearrange;

Baby Cid insisted on smacking baby Weskham until provoking him and both started fighting.

Baby Regis insisted on doing pranks or trying to escape from the carrier and baby Clarus always helped him.

Weskham and Regis together works better, even though baby Regis insists on trying to escape. Good baby Weskham always stops him.

Baby Clarus and baby Cid insist on fighting, though.

Cor made the mistake of walking in front of a toy store.

You should have heard the massive collective baby scream when he did.

All four babies looked at the things on display window and went

“*BABY GASP* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! (」°ロ°)」 “

Cor had no option but go inside because none of them would shut the fuck up.

People stare at Cor every time he nags Regis because all they see is this stressed father calling his baby by “your Majesty” ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

He’s nagging him because baby Regis insists on pushing things off the shelves.

Baby Cid helps him.

Cor ends up bugyin onesies and toys for them because the babies insisted and he wants them to shut up.

There goes Cor carrying with baby Regis in his carbuncle onesie hugged to a moogle, baby Clarus in a moogle onesie hugged to a chocobo, baby Cid in a chocobo onesie hugged to a cactuar, and coeurl Weskham hugged to a carbuncle.

Cor camps with them.

Cor thinks the babies are doing some daemonic ritual because they’re in their onesies dancing around the fire singing uncontrollably.

They can’t even speak, it’s just bambling as they sing.

Cor’s sat there like (눈_눈)

Cor had to chase them around for a good couple hours before they fell asleep.

Baby Cid insists on stealing Cor’s stuff and running nowhere at all (also falling at times).

Baby Weskham, as calm, is also dramatically curious so he saw a butterfly and crawled away of camp to chase it.

Baby Regis is a chaos.

Baby Regis insists on stealing Cor’s stuff,run away from camp, hide, throw things at Cor, and poking the others.

Baby Clarus follows him either to help him do his pranks or to take care of him.

Cor recovers a baby just to be thrown a spoon by another,recovers another and the first already escaped again.

“Their ritual dance around the fire was better, dammit.”

Three of the babies already understood (even though baby Cid had to be nagged and is currently sat there all grumpy), but baby Regis is A CHAOTHIC MESS.

Cor is tired of his shit.

Cor is carrying him by the ankle, upside-down

“MOTHER OF SHIVA,REGIS LUCIS CAELUM, CAN YOU PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF FOR ONCE!? >:(”

Baby Regis peed on him.

It was on purpose.

The babies went to sleep and they’re al cuddled up and it’s disgustingly adorable, Cor can’t be mad at them.

Cor thought it’d be a good idea to throw baby Weskham in the air for fun.

Bad idea; now all four babies are bouncing around him so he carries them and throws them up.

The first hour goes cool but it’s gets easily boring to Cor.

After the first hour he starts to get tired.

“Listen, I’m 45. I can’t do this all day like I’m 29.”

Shut the f*ck up , Cor, they still want to have fun.

Baby Clarus ended up throwing up.

“Ha ha, weak.”

Cor’s having fun because for once he’s the oldest and the gang are literally babies.

Cor’s laughing at them all the time.

Baby Cid was waddling around and fell on his tummy.

“Ha ha, idiot.”

Baby Weskham tried Cor’s shoes on and ignored they’re like GIANT and tried to tie them but had no idea how to.

“Hahaha, you dumbass.”

Baby Clarus sneezed so loud he scared himself.

“Hahahahahha, you’re so stupid.”

Baby Regis was sat there looking at a butterfly all like .A. “woaaaaah” and when it flew past his head he tried to keep looking throwing the head back instead of turning around, and he fell backwards.

“Hahahahahahahaha, you’re so stupid ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡ “

Baby Regis tried taking Cor’s katana.

It’s disgustingly adorable, baby Regis is like TINY, the tiniest of the smol gang, and the katana is so giant to him but he’s carrying it around from a tip.

Don’t worry, Cor’s making sure nobody unsheathes that by accident.

Cor has rented a car.

Baby Weskham gets the passenger seat because he’s a treasure that doesn’t cause much trouble.

Look at baby Weskham sat there so miniature with the seatbelt on and it’s too big on him, oajdsdof, literally only the strap that goes to the waist works on him.

Cor has no baby seats okay

The other three are at the backseats and, as they cannot poke the heads out the windows and as they can’t go to the front because Cor stops them when they try, they need to find a new entertainment.

Baby Regis, Clarus and Cid are fighting each other.

Baby Regis started.

Regis, calm tf down.

Cor’s watching from time to time on the rearview mirror.

Watching these three murdering each other is fun.

Goddammit Cor needs to record this somehow before the status fades.

Cor had a terrible idea.

You can’t stop Cor.

Cor is camping and just set his own game of Baby Fights.

The baby that wins earns this big chocobo plush.

Cor’s basically putting two babies in front of each other and watching them fight.

He’s laughing.

The babies do only harmless attacks like smacking each other or shoving back and they cry at the smallest of hits.

This is sweet revenge.

“Who’s a baby now?”

Don’t worry, Cor’s making sure none of them is really hurt.

Baby Clarus won.

Baby Weskham won’t talk to baby Clarus for the rest of the night.

Baby Cid is throwing things at baby Clarus.

Baby Regis is trying to steal the plush, ends up feeling guilty and returns it on free will to baby Clarus. And then steals it again.

Cor woke up to baby Weskham smacking his face.

Baby Weskham is quiet but still troubles if he wants.

Cor finally gets to Cape Caem where Monica’s at.

“Hey, Cor, where are the…”

“…”

“…Cor, I don’t want to question you but why are you carrying with FOUR BABIES”

See, Monica wouldn’t have believed about the status ailment hadn’t Cor brought them to her.

Guess who arrived at Caem by the time?

Here come the chocobros!

They tasked the chocobros to look after these babies (didn’t tell them who they were) until they came back; Cor wants to show Monica the daemon that did that, see if they spot one nearby.

That night Monica returned with a naked baby and Cor was missing.

“…yes, you see, it’s a funny story”.

Monica explained who these five babies are.

“THEY ARE WHO!?”

“Oh look at the hour, I promised someone I’d see them by now, I leave it in your hands, bye”

Monica never came back.

Here we see it, four young adults that can barely survive on their own, parenting parents.

It was a mess at fist.

Noctis went nuts

“THIS IS MY DAD!? THIS IS MY DAD!?!?!”

Noctis is holding baby Regis in his hands all like .A.

As soon as he held him, baby Regis went all

“*HAPPIEST OF BABY NOISES* AAAAH! (o´▽`o)｡o○♡“

Doing grabby hands at Noctis and legs happily swinging around.

The chocobros all had to gather around to see him because literally nobody has ever seen a happier baby than this one LOOK AT THOSE GIANT BLUE EYES SPARKLING AND THE WAY HE GIGGLES IT’S ADORABLE.

Baby Regis won’t leave Noctis alone from now on

If Noct puts him down, baby Regis will crawl or waddle after him.

Prompto went fanboy mode when he saw baby Cor.

“GUYS LOOOOK IT’S COOOOR! AAAH, HE’S SO TINY! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ“

Cor’s trying to hide behind his hands in embarrassment.

Nope. That only makes Prompto happier.

Prompto won’t let go of baby Cor for the rest of the status ailment.

Smol Cid is also particularly fond of Prompto.

Must be his guns.

Baby Cid is always touching and patting Prompto’s guns.

(don’t worry, Prom locked them)

Ignis and baby Weskham are particularly fond of each other.

Ignis is all

“Ah. This is what I talked about. Finally an adult that’s got common sense and understands the quiet. Please do not eat that ant.”

Gladio’s looking after his dad.

“So this is what you looked like when you were a baby, huh. You’re like a wet potato.”

“You know, Gladio, my dad once told me you looked exactly the same than Clarus when you were a baby.”

“…a very handsome wet potato”

Gladio’s just looking at baby Clarus all the time.

On a side, he wants to pick baby Clarus and use him like a toy airplane for fun.

On the other side, what if he’s conscious and won’t forget when he goes back to adult?

Gladio can’t risk that.

He’s just going to stare at baby Clarus all the time.

Baby Clarus is staring back at times.

Baby Cid likes to bite Prompto’s hair.

Baby Weskham likes to look at Ignis’ recipes notebook.

Ignis likes to read what it says to him.

Baby Weskham has huge adorable baby eyes and he sits there super curious and quiet watching all the letters and drawings.

Baby Cor was too shy at first, but Prom ended up finding a way to make him laugh.

Baby Cor’s tiny shy giggle is the CUTEST THING EVER.

Regis is still following Noctis and making grabby hands athim.

Baby Regis wants to be hugged all the time. By Noct, that is.

Prom one day was like

“I had an idea,what about we dress them like their adult selves but with clothes their size? I know it may be a stupid idea, I’m sorry…”

Everyone was quiet for a while.

There are the chocobros, each carrying their respective baby (Prom carries with two), into every shop for baby clothes and disguises they find to complete their attires.

Noct feels observed out there carrying with baby Regis.

Noct is by far the most nervous of them all.

“WOW, your baby has HUGE and beautiful eyes!”

“Oh, that’snotmybaby, it’s not- ahaha, no, this is not my baby, this is my dad.”

The random lady is staring at Noctis like (・_・;)

There’s a super awkward silence and Gladio decides to take Noctis somewhere else before he screws up more.

“GUYS I FOUND A HAT LIKE COR’S OLD ONE (*ﾉ▽ﾉ)”

“PUT IT ON HIM, PUT IT ON HIM!”

They put the hat on baby Cor’s head.

It’s too big.

It falls and covers baby Cor’s face.

Baby Cor’s pushing it up and looking up at them.

“*collective loud ‘Aaaawww’*”

When they return they start dressing up the babies.

There’s baby Cid with his hat.

Baby Weskham in his vest and even a miniature fake monocle.

Baby Cor with his hat and a miniature toy sword.

Baby Regis with his cape and king attire miniature size.

Baby Clarus with his cape and a toy shield.

The chocobros are all staring and fanboying.

They’ve gone entire fanboy mode, you can’t revert it.

They’re arguing over which baby is the cutest.

This is destroying friendships.

The chocobros are starting to have a blast with the babies.

Please don’t let them, they’re going to go into stupid mode.

Thankfully enough, the status ailment reverts at some point before the guys can think about any stupid thing.

Funny enough for us, the Accordo Squad remembers everything.

They thank the chocobros for the attention and each teams decide to split because it’s awkward to look at each other to the eyes.

The Accordo Team are laughing and having fun talking about this mess.

“You do have to say, they did a particular good job on my attire. I looked the cutest.”

“What? You’re nuts, Wesky. Obviously I looked the cutest.”

“Come now, you’re talking in front of the king. It’s clear I was the cutest.”

“No way, Regis, I even had a toy shield. I am the cutest.”

“Well, I do have to say I’m the youngest, am I not? You’ve always treated me like a baby so that means, by logic, that I am the cutest.”

The Accordo team are now arguing over who’s the most adorable.

You know what, I think they still have no idea how to adult in life.

And this are the adorable and hilarious adventures of Smol Accordo Squad. (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

#this was fun #baby accordo squad is the shit

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