#staying home saves lives

[uselessnbee]

what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.

or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!

and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes

and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you

#i am not trying to victim blame or anything i love Sally and she did her best and didn't deserve any of the crap life gave her #but there's just something so tragic about the fact that she married a vile man and suffered abuse to protect her son #just for her decision to hurt him anyways just in a different way but the only other option would probably be Percy ending up dead #so she can't really truly regret it but she just wishes those weren't their only options #that she didn't have to do this just so that her child could stay alive #thinking about it makes me go feral #they had no choice but to suffer there was no way for their lives to be without this much hurt and trauma and it's terrible #and they didn't deserve it but there was so much love too #but the horrible thing is that that love just wasn't enough to save them from all that pain and i need to be sedated bye #percy jackson #sally jackson #pjo #hoo #percy and sally #percy jackon and the olympians #whatever you do don't think about a six years old lonely Percy sitting in a corner waiting for his mom to come back home from work #and he knows she loves him but he misses her so much when she spends so much time in work and that hurts #don't think about a ten years old Percy being sent away to a boarding school and he knows his mom loves him #but what if she's sending him away because he's just too much? or not enough? and what if she doesn't want him anymore? #and he knows that's not true but what if? #i'm thinking it #okay i think that's enough

[meteors-lotr]

I think Thorin should be glad he died, because if he survived you know Bilbo is gonna drag is ass all around middle earth to make him apologize to basically everyone they met on that journey for a variety of different things, and I don’t think his pride could have handled that

#‘Sorry I didn’t give you your gold and almost declared war on you’ #‘Sorry I didn’t give you your necklace and almost declared war on you’ #‘Also sorry I destroyed your barrels and insulted you straight to your face”’ #‘Sorry I broke into your home while trying to escape you’ #‘Sorry I was hanging on your leg while you were having your annual rock tossing championship’ #‘Sorry I was all rude and snappy’ #‘And encouraged my people to be rude and snappy’ #‘While we were staying in your home and you had just saved us from orcs’ #‘Also sorry that I bathed in your fountain naked’ #‘Sorry I scared you when I asked where I could find the burglar”’ #‘Abd then yelled at you when you didn’t know what a burglar is’ #‘And then scared you again by finding you once more to tell me where the burglar lived because I got lost again’ #lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #Thilbo #bagginshield #bard the bowman #Thranduil #Beorn #Rock giants #Elrond #The Shire

[theblasianbarbie]

URGENT move out mutual aid request for black queer muslim girl - pls dont ignore!

I know y’all are sick of me but this is a bittersweet mutual aid request and I need community to rlly come thru for me bc Im in a really tough time crunch.

As some of yall know, I lost my job a month and a half ago, but this Friday I accepted a new job offer but I do not start til June 13th and so I will not be paid until the end of the month when my lease ends.

My lease ends July 1 and I need to raise about $2400 to move out before then in order to pay for 1st and security on an apartment.

Losing my job in April threw me severely off course and the $ I had saved to move out of my current (super shitty pest infested) apt was used on top of mutual aid to pay outstanding bills and for essential living items. 

If y’all could find it in your hearts to help me out one last time it’d mean the world to me. I always try my best to return the kindness that has been shown to me and I am extremely grateful for the help I did recieve during this difficult time. 

You can donate through the following links below:

P@ypal

C*shApp

V3nmo

I am also a painter and can take commissions through my website if you wish to have something tangible for your donation.

0/$2400

#im sorry yall but i will be spamming this #like i was hoping to have a sooner start date but these jobs be making you interview 1237992739 times nowadays #so i cant fund my own move out bc the timeframe doesnt allow #and me staying somewhere temporarily is more money out of my pocket and would end up taking me at least 2 months more to save #and i really just want to be settled in a home #living in this apartment has been hell #this last month has been hell #so i need some help getting pulled out of it #but hopefully this will be my last mutual aid request #this job is a lot more dependable than my last #i was trying to avoid doing this but i simply need help and have to ask one last time

[treasureplcnet]

someone on the bodies production team you have to release more layout/bts pictures of charles whiteman's flat please. this is a great start but i need to know him better. particularly if it's got about as much mould as a second year uni house and if he owns as many chairs as it seems LOL

#ok the joke is at his expense but im already romanticising this shit #20-something loser karl weissman moves into the worst flat of all time and makes it a home #hangs a picture of his parents' wedding against the worst wallpaper you've ever seen #just buys what he likes and calls it decor #how else can you explain the fucking model boat next to the fucking telephone. AND YOU MAY TELL ME 'oh thats just random set stuff' #NOT TO ME! #and it stays until he's in his mid 30s. develops a habit of not cleaning up along the way #the shot where he seems to have taken off his shirt/tie/jacket and then dropped them off on various pieces of furniture. HE LIVES LIKE THIS #also entertaining the idea that its his parents' old stuff that he can't bring himself to throw out .. #i will created a fully fleshed out character using 8 episodes and fever dream visions if i have to #karl weissman #bodies netflix #edit: the original tags are above but since then i joined the discord and got to add these pictures LOL #saved this post as a draft bc i was like. i cant annoy people on the tag any more than i already have #doesnt matter. forcing this into the tag like a week after i made it anyway #im still so interested in the fact that it seems like there are more rooms that we never see #outside this bedroom and living space (and the bedroom isnt clear in the show either) #like. i rly need a 360 house tour NOW. #ALSO I FEEL LIKE A TOWN CRIER NO I DONT THINK HE HAS MOULD BUT IT WOULD BE FUNNY!!!! #the chair next to the liquor rly is something. hes MY babygirl

[zabiume]

something about the way ichigo is the strongest person in the bleachverse, as most heroes in this genre, but lives in a tiny apartment with his wife and kid and works a low-stakes, high-passion job really gets to me because that simplicity is just so ichigo, like. he doesn't like being called a hero, he doesn't like people calling him a celebrity, he doesn't care for ranks or medals or recognition he just wants to be Some Guy who'll do the job that needs to be done and then head home to worry about groceries and deadlines which is so wild to me, so denis o'hare "he's a brave man, but deep down, he'd rather be taming horses"-esque to me!!!

#do you think kazui ever goes out on patrol with his dad and all of a sudden #they run into a shinigami on patrol and his father becomes completely someone else in their eyes #not the guy that puts kazui to bed or checks his homework but the guy who SAVES LIVES and IS A HERO #and kazui is like. is this my father? did my father do those things? #he's always been just dad to me! #ugh i just love stay at home dad ichigo so much as a concept i can't believe it's canob #*canon #ichigo kurosaki

[piosplayhouse]

It's so sick that tianlang jun and luo binghe have built in forehead kiss buttons but they go so long in canon tragically deprived of forehead kissies

Edit: I forgot about zhuzhi lang I'm sorry. I'm giving him a million forehead kissies in repentance

#thonking about sqq telling bimghe not to hide his demon mark because its the perfect target for kisses #i just . awaugggg they make me so SOFT #I watn bingy to know that he's not loved despite who he is but BECAUSE of who he is and that no part of him is undeserving of love #and and #lbh #tlj #svsss #the scum villain's self saving system #tianlang jun #luo Binghe #by the way i think in a su xiyan lives au when she leaves the house (tlj is a stay at home dad ofc) she gives her husband and son forehead #kissies in succession and they get so sad when they dont have them

[skunkes]

#JOB SEARCHING ON INDEED IS HELL I CANT EVEN GET PAST STEP 1. #how do i even pick what to apply for idek what 99% of these listings are talking about. #and 99.9% of them are scams im sureand im too stupit to sniff them out #talkys #the issue is i dont even Need a remote job as a whole #but i do need one while i live here bc taking comms pays more than any of the physical location jobs in my area #ykwim. #i need a remote job in order to save more to move out and maybe get a better one that is or isnt remote. and its #hard to find. augh #doesnt help that my home also sucks for remote job what with constant noise #like what else can i do. im not taking an $8/hr job here. #maybe i jst need to keep saving with comms... #figure smthng out. idk. but then ill just stay here forever bc i dont think i could find a job thatd help me move out to work at a new loca #ion ykwim #I WILL KEEP LOOKING o7

[spocksgotemotions]

I know Im too young to be bitter about missed chances and stuff but it is my right and boy am I exercising it

#captain’s own #dumb bitch hours #personal logs #it is not entirely fair to be bitter towards my mom about staying home #it was my decision as an adult to live with her after my dad died #but the fact that the past year and a half I have been treated poorly by her #when I moved away from most of my support system (who stayed in New England post grad) #when I gave up the opportunity of a lifetime #and she still thinks I just moved home to save money and I don’t actually care about her #like she doesn’t know and I won’t tell her cause it will upset her too much but I was scouted by a talent agency #they wanted me but I told them I wasn’t planning on going back to NY for at least a year #if I was as selfish and shitty as she thinks I am #I’d be in NY with my friends #Doing extra work and seeing above average improv once a month #okay just needed to rant

[bo0zey]

Did I miss "back from the war" recreation or is that not happening

OK so i've been meaning to address this for a while because it’s actually something i've been genuinely annoyed/sad/upset about; my original plan to recreate the post was to go to riot fest & have someone take pics of me during MCR live in person (caption wouldve been something like ‘when will mcr--omg they;re Back from the Warfdskns’ lol idk). i ended up 2nd row from the barrier & i was like OMG bc i didn’t expect to get so close & i was like ‘WOW these r gonna b such GR8 PICTURES!!i;m so lucky!!this is gENIUS!’ & so my plan was literally going according to/even better than planned right?? i mean the fact that i was ~a few feet away from the stage n was ~1.5hrs away from seeing mcr LIVE??? my plan was going along SUSPICIOUSLY well..everything was falling into place TOO perfectly...it was almost to good to be true right??? IT WAS. everything went to shit & my plan fell thru during the last band before MCR when my body suddenly fell victim to the effects of being crowd crushed for >7 hours straight; i experienced syncope & was pulled over the barrier & out of the pit by security.

sooooo, you didn’t ‘miss’ anything; the post was supposed to be recreated at the concert, but the universe pulled an uno-reverse on me when it remembered i’m on the universal ‘Do Not Ever Allow to Be Truly Happy’ list lol. i meant to post an update abt my failed plan afterwards, but tbh the actual event in itself made me wanna fr kms, and i felt even guiltier/worse for being unable to fulfill my promise to u all bc i fr planned on recreating it at the concert. 'ok but u were still at the concert after u got pulled out’ ok physically yes but mentally N-Ooo. due to the hypoxia (lack of blood blow/oxygen to the brain) i’d obtained secondary to being crowd crushed PLUS the psychological trauma of being removed against my living breathing dying will from the pit (btw the psychological trauma has nothing to do with being crowd-crushed but im not gonna get into that turmoil rn lol), i was stuck in an altered mental state for the remainder of the concert. i was dissociated for mcr’s entire set until i woke up the next morning & it took ~3-4 days for my body to fully recover from the physical trauma of being crowd crushed.

i still plan on recreating the post eventually, but tbh it’s not rlly my top priority atm bc 1) i still can’t come to terms w/ the fact i lost my 1 n only chance to experience MCR live & 2) imo seeing MCR live was the perfect opportunity to recreate the post & that clearly didn’t work out for me sooo now i have no idea how else i can top that idea :( .

#i have an idea but i’m not sure if it’ll work...imma need mcr 2 pull thru n meet me halfway on this 1 lol #anywyas i h8 talking abt riot fest i feel like every1 h8s me whining abt it too lol #i was so angry and upset with the world and myself. i really tried so hard to stay conscious; #ppl were asking if i was ok & i kept nodding yes because i didn’t want to be pulled out of the pit bc #then i’d lose my spot + my ONLY chance to see MCR live & so up close. #next thing i know i’m being pulled over the barrier by security and WHOOSH into dissociationville i go. #they were too much for my brain to handle so i’d just fall back even more into that weird dissociated state #i honestly would have preferred to not have even attended the concert. like HONESTLY 100% deadass i wish i didnt even go. #like imagine urself in my shoes lol i went from being 2nd row from the stage to like 70000 rows away. #yall dont understand how awful it is to have such a golden opportuntiy to be 1 hr n a few feet away from the band who saved u #to having it all ripped away from u in literally a matter of seconds #if i’d just stayed home my 12y/o little wouldn’t have had to experience the psychological trauma of having everything to having nothing. #my 15/16 year old teen wouldnt have had to re-live the experience of realizing there’s nothing left #in this world to comfort/protect/save her OR her childself #22 year old me realizing i failed them and all the other parts of me. i cant be happy i cant have shit in this world #i couldnt have my mom but at least i had mcr right??? nope lol that got ripped out of my fingertips too #i cant even begin to describe the emotional damage/psychological blow the situation had on me bc like #i cant even put it into words and i know nobody will truly understand/believe me when i say how heartbreaking & detrimental this #situation was for my already fucked up psyche. or they’ll think im exaggerating but its like u dont get it #ive lost so many things and people i spent my entire childhood/adolescence maladaptive daydreaming. #at age 12 mcr became my escapism for ~4yrs straight bc they were the only thing that made me happy #while all the other ppl in the real world in my day to day life were making me wanna kms everyday #like ik it sounds extreme/dramatic but ??? i mean i dont even fully understand my reaction tbh. #i think its just mcr used to be my happy place n then i get to see them live and its just an absolute nightmare #and the fact that i was dissociated from their concert when they used to be the only thing to keep me grounded to this earth??? #truly i wish i didnt even go like i cant even listen to their music anymore without wanting to crawl out of my skin #when the only thing that made u feel alive made u feel deader than ever inside....yeahhhhh not fun!! #its a heartsinking feeling i hate it so much i wish i had a doever #mcr #when will mcr return from the war

[ipatrichor]

actually i think one of the things in outsiders that really fucked me up was one of owen's turns of phrase

when magic tricks him and goes into the maze alone, only surviving because he figures out what happened quick enough to follow & rescue her, he tells her that he's never going to stop coming after her (to make sure she's safe, to protect her)

and then after owen's gotten his memories back, he tells apo that he's never going to stop coming after him (to hunt him down, to kill him)

#i am never going to be normal about phrases being repeated with a different meaning #and i think this one especially fucks me up because it really hammers home the difference between owen at his core #(wanting to keep people safe. living to protect. loving his friends so so much hed do anything to keep them alive & happy) #and the person he became as a result of the trauma he experienced and the actions he took and life he led because if it #i think the real tragedy of this character lies in that we see who he couldve been!!! he was Good and he loved so much & tried so hard #but he lost his support system (mostly apo but also rasbi + graecie) and just. never quite learned to trust/rely on the others #because he believed what angel said- he can't show them weakness. theyre counting on him so he has to stay strong for them no matter what #i fully believe that if things had been different he could have overcome his past after remembering. if that support system had been built #i think he wouldve had a chance at least. #and thats the tragedy. he was so caught up in being their rock that they didnt know how to love him and he didnt know how to let them #after apo and angel he didnt let anyone in enough that they couldve changed his mind #so of course no one could save him. he would never have let them #anyway this smp fucked me up real bad. i think it did something to my brain pathways i think theyre realigned #pat.txt

[heartslight]

sora does come back from quadratum a little different but the biggest change is that he loses the mindset that self-sacrifice is a necessary requirement to achieve a better future for everyone. anytime there's a mission or a problem, it's either we go together or we don't go at all. he becomes adamant on that, you cannot change his mind.

#smaller differences is that he gets quiet more frequently #lost in thoughts lost in memories #some days it's just a little hard to stay in touch with reality! #the company of his friends really helps during those days just to reinforce the truth that he's THERE #he's not stranded in another reality he's not the dead among the living he's back home he's IN the realm of light again #another difference? he's more openly selfish! leans more into the 'darkness' within his heart and does things for his benefit #he goes out of his way to spend more time with his friends! acknowledges the hurt he's caused and tries to not apologize as often #living in that grief doesn't benefit anyone #it truly took him being just completely WIPED from existence for him to really appreciate the life and the friends he's been given but ykno #better late than never! #'you can't save everyone' 'you cant go against destiny' yes he can. he can and he will and his friends will be right beside him #and then they'll all go home #✧ ˚ · . ✦ STATION OF AWAKENING. #sora coming back from quadratum like maybe the it really is about the friends we make along the way...

[hella1975]

im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia

#like yes i know ive had a very uniquely shit experience in doing a degree i actively not only hate but also am BAD AT #but also i just. cannot hack it #'but hella you go mental and pessimistic every single exam period' i know that but. im right also #like the other day i said to my mum how much ive just been enjoying my job recently #and how huge a deal that is bc i HATE my hometown and ive never ever considered my time here as possibly being good #and my 20s will hopefully be a lot of travelling but in between that to save easier im gonna live at home #so i dont have to worry about rent so alas that means when im saving up for my next trip I WILL BE IN MY HOMETOWN #and as excited as i am for my twenties that is one huge downside to me but i was really cheerfully saying to my mum #that literally for the first time ever ive considered it might not be too bad bc lately i have just enjoyed my job #like i enjoy the people and the work and the lifestyle of it and while it's never gonna be ideal as a means to an end it's actually good #and instead of focussing on that she went OFF on one about how she wants me to stay in education and keep getting qualifications #and she was like 'you could do an english degree you've always wanted to do english or how about open university-' #and i was just sat there blinking at her like girl.... no #like i could FEEL myself shutting down like the terror of having to return to this environment when ive got my sight so set #on that 'one more year and im done one more year and im done' mindset like that has been the only thing getting my through #is that im halfway through the course now so im closer to the other end than i am the beginning and if i can just push through #ill be free from it for the rest of my life. so the thought of immediately returning to academia even for a subject i adore? i felt ILL #and my mum apologised the next day without me even having to say anything bc she realised she kinda bulldozed me there #but i just know whether it's the adhd or ive actually been traumatised by this econ degree #(<- and im being serious there like ik 'traumatised' is a big loaded word but idk what else to use #and this degree has done so so much damage to me like it has convinced me that i am fundamentally a stupid person #to the point i refuse to add up bills when with friends or do answer any sort of intellectual question even if i KNOW i know the answer #bc ive just gone so so long of being bad at the only subject im studying like just SURROUNDED by it and being bad at it relentlessly #and i dont think people realise how damaging it is to very simply just... feel stupid all the time. but oh my god i used to be so confident #and bright and now i wont even do basic addition in front of people) #i really truly dont think i can do this again in any capacity. like the constant exams and studying and assignments #i just cant do it. maybe i just need a year or two away from it after this degree but my goddddd rn i cant see it #yes it's exam time for me can u tell. it always makes me existential and on the verge of vomiting at any given moment #i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i dont care about iterated deletion of strictly dominated strategies shut the fuck up #hella goes to uni

[wandering-spaghetti]

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#gas #fossil fuels #fuel efficiency #save money #cash back #frugal #frugal living #mom life #stay at home wife #stay at home mom

[countess-of-edessa]

dont really see why more children is automatically better tbh. obviously being open to life is important but i see no inherent value in having many children that isnt teetering on the edge of utilitarianism and violating the personalistic norm.

#i am very glad to only have one sibling both because we are extremely close and because our childhood was spent caring for our elderly #grandfather and then our high school middle school years were spent dealing with my dad's health issues #i started babysitting my granddad when i was like eight. it would have been a nightmare to have to deal with multiple young children/babies #in the ensuing years because it just wouldn’t have worked for our family #and my parents didn’t actively plan to have two kids they didn’t like plan their family or whatever #but it just worked out that way and it was emphatically for the best #and everyone likes to bring up the ‘don’t not have another kid because you want a boat!!!!1!' point which like yes that’s correct #but there is a difference between wanting to live in luxury and not wanting to live in poverty. i think people should strive against #intentionally bringing children into poverty or having more children than they can afford to give a basically decent life #because it is unkind to a child to do so. #yes don’t have a boat instead of a kid. but where do these people draw the line? can’t afford to put your kids through catholic schools? #can’t afford to have savings in case someone is injured or ill? #can’t afford to keep Mom home to stay with the children? #bringing people into the world because you think their quantity will get you into heaven is selfish and it uses children as a means to an #end when they should be an expression of love only.

[bioaccumulation]

I'm finally taking steps to move out and I just know its going to be a fight with my parents because apparently they tell you you should move out and they know you want to do it but when you actually start the process it becomes a problem

#like when i told my mom my new job has a housing stipend she was all well you could stay at home and save it #like babe i live an hour from my new job rn why would i do that also its a stipend specifically for housing i dont know if i could do that #anyway ✌️ #meeting with a possible craiglist roommate on wednesday

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Like i feel like I'm wasting the free trip down to london by not going anywhere or seeing anything but it is also 24-27 degrees and humid every single day so like. Maybe i would rather be sitting in the shade batting saw headcanons back and forth over discord than traipsing around a museum, actually

#the fact that i need to sit for 30mins on the tube to even get into the vicinity of the museums is also a significant factor #i think if I'd paid for this trip for the purposes of doing london things I'd been bracing myself and going for it #but I'm here to look after someone's cat and they bought the train tickets so like #really I'm saving myself from fainting in the v&a AND saving my money but just kinda staying put #it is annoying that apparently there's construction next door this week though shshsjsbhdbdbd #but yeah. feeling a little guilty for just doing what i already do at home down in london #but I'm not gonna go suffer just for the sake of being a tourist in a place 3 hours away from where i live lmao #I'm defo leaving the house to see someone on saturday so at least there's that! #mr. bees speaks