Tumgir
#staying safe and washing hands bb
buddeysystem · 2 years ago
Note
V’s RANDOM QUESTION BOMB TIME [ie, VRQBT for our new viewers]. Today’s question: what’s your favorite GMM/GMMore episode and why? [and if you feel like it: what’s one thing you’re grateful for right now? Mine is having the ability to play monopoly with friends while social distancing through the internet!]
V 😭😭 hello!!!!!!!!
off the top of my head, my fav gmmore is the pictionary suntan lotion one bc it is hilarious. my fav gmm???? oof uh maybe the speech jammer ones? or the conjoined twin challenge one bc it's my favvv
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lostaurorax · 4 months ago
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father to be
pairing | fezco x pregnant!reader
warnings | mentions of morning sickness,mentions of sex and obviously pregnancy!!!
a/n | hi my babies!!!! this is my first time writing for fez or anyone on euphoria!! i was super nervous but am honestly so proud of how this came out!!!!! i love fez so why not write him as a sweet first time daddy to be!!!☺️ i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it! i love you all hope your staying healthy and safe!!! <3
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main masterlist | euphoria masterlist
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when you told fezco you were pregnant you were scared of what his reaction would be
“you bein serious right now?”
“u-uh yeah…” you said nervously fidgeting with the test in your hands
next thing you knew he had you in a tight embrace with his head in your neck
“i fucking love you so much”
everytime you woke up with morning sickness fez was their tying your hair up and rubbing your back.
“s’alright ma let it out.”
anytime you wake up in the middle of the night with a crazy craving fez always got it for you no matter how insanely nasty it sounded.
“i don’t think i can even watch you eat that y/n..” he’d say after seeing the weird combination what you had made
you just ignored him being happy with what you were eating at 3am
one night at dinner when you were about 2 months pregnant, you had decided to tell ash.
“so ash we have something to tell you..” you said as fez held your hand under the table
“hm?” ash said lifting his head up from taking a bite of his pizza
“..im pregnant!” you said a wide smile on your face
“oh aight cool.” he said not having much of a reaction which you both had expected but nonetheless knew he was still happy for you
but later that night when you knocked on his door to check on him you found him asleep with his phone still lit up in his hands showing a recent google search on ‘how to be a good uncle’ making you immediately tear up and leave a kiss on his forehead.
when you had your 18 week appointment the doctor had asked if you wanted to know the gender of your baby and you and fezco immediately nodded not wanting to make a big deal out of it as long as you had a healthy baby.
“congratulations,it’s a boy!!” the doctor said smiling at you too
“shii really?” fez said as you slapped his shoulder gently
“my bad ma” he’d say turning to you but immediately noticing the tears of joy in your eyes he immediately brought his lips to yours pulling away and muttering a small ‘i love you baby and you too ma’ earning a soft punch to the arm from you.
your belly had stated to show when you hit the 5th month and no matter what you were doing fezco could not seem to keep his hands off of you
as you were washing dishes he would come up behind your rubbing his hands on your stomach and when he would get the baby to kick? oh he’d never shut up about it.
“shit did you feel that ma? he kicked!!”
“fez of course i felt it he’s in my stomach..” you said giggling at his excitement
rue,lexie,cassie,maddy,jules,kat and bb had visted you pretty often always spoiling you with gifts and talking about how happy they were for you
tonight you were out for dinner with maddy kat rue and jules.
“you know y/n you look so fucking good i think this might be a sign for me to get pregnant..” maddy would say noting your very appearnt pregnancy glow that even fezco couldn’t stop talking about
“maddy don’t even think about it!” you would say on the other side of the table as she shrugged with a smile on her face
“no but seriously y/n we’re so happy for you. i can’t believe your gonna be a mom!” jules said putting her arm around your shoulder and her head on top of yours
“you guys i will actually start sobbing right now,my pregnancy hormones literally hate me!!” you said doing the best you could to hold in tears and them doing the same.
“anyway…which one of us are you picking to be the godmother?” maddy said causing all eyes on you
“hm…?” you said taking a sip of your shirley temple acting like you had no idea what they were talking about.
you and fezco loveddd to have sex. it was an everyday thing for you guys. no wonder you were pregnant…
but as soon as you got pregnant he became distant for the first few months
“please fez,i need you.” you said looking up at him through your eyelashes
“fuck ma, i mean yeah i wanna fuck you like so bad right now but shit i’m scared i’m gonna hurt the baby….” he said using his left hand to rub his head anxiously
“baby i promise you, you can’t hurt him!” you’d say giggling at how protective he already was
after that fezco decided he would do all the research he could to be comfortable with it. cause your pregnancy glow was really effecting him…ifykwim
while at your next ultrasound appointment he decided to ask the doctor and as soon as he heard her say it was perfectly safe he looked directly at you with a smirk on his face.
let’s just say after that he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. literally anywhere and everywhere whenever he had the chance he took it.
as you hit 7 months your belly started getting bigger and heavier. you could still walk fine but had a bit of a waddle to your step. one morning when you got up to use the bathroom you heard fez laugh from the bed immediately turning around and scolding him.
“what’s so funny?” you said confused
“you walkin’ like a penguin now ma?” he said the smile still apparent on his face
“shut up…” you said as you turned around not wanting him to see the smile on your face.
once fez noticed how much heavier your belly was getting he immediately stopped letting you do things around the house. though he did that as soon as you told him you were pregnant but now he didn’t let you do any thing.
you were hungry? he’d make you food. you had cramps? he’d heat up a heating pad for you. had trouble walking? he’d carry you all day. he basically didn’t leave your side ever. if he ever had too he always made sure ash was with you who also became extremely protective over you. not that he wasn’t before but their were a few times where fez didn’t come home until very late and ash would stay with you just keeping you company. you always told him if he wanted he could go back to his room to sleep not wanting to make him uncomfortable but he always came up with some excuse that you couldn’t fight against. he considered you the closet thing he had to a mom so that was how your relationship was. one night when fezco came home and was looking for ash and couldn’t find him in his room he panicked for a second till he opened your shared bedroom door and saw ash sleeping with his head on your stomach and your arms wrapped around his and it immediately brought tears to his eyes. quickly snapping a few pictures to show you sometime in the near future he quickly changed and got into bed on the other side of you careful not that wake either of you.
“fez! fez! babe!” you yelled for fezco trying to wake him up
“shit yeah ma what’s up?” he said looking frantically around
“i think my water just broke..” you said with wide eyes
“fuck!” fez said immediately getting out of bed and grabbing the hospital bag in the corner of the room placing it by the door and running to quickly waking ash up
“yo ash! bro!” he said trying to shake him out of his sleep
“fuck what?” he said annoyed that he was being woken up so early
“let’s go y/n’s water broke!” he said with a hint of excitement in his voice
“shit.” ash said getting up
“FEZCO!!!” you yelled making both of their eyes go wide and run to you.
after 8 hours of labor your baby boy was safely delivered into the world!!
the amount of tears that were shed between you and fezco could probably fill up an entire ocean.
“sup lil’ man!” fez said as he was holding him against his skin
“baby he has red hair like me? you see that shi-” he said before you cut him off
“ah fez!” you said with wide eyes and a finger over your mouth
“shi-uh i mean oops sorry!” he said a nervous smile on his face causing a genuine one on yours
hearing a knock on the door you saw ashs head pop in
“hey can i come in?” he said and by the way his hands were fidgeting you could tell he was nervous which was rare for him
“yeah cmere!” you said offering him a warm smile reviving one back
“you wanna hold him?” fez said mentioning towards the baby he was holding against his bare chest.
“uh yeah let me just wash my hands real quick.” he said going to the sink in the corner of the room. while he did that fezco handed him too you so you could guide ash.
“okay so just support his head and his butt…their you go!” you said smiling up at ash.
“woah..this is weird..” ash said
“fez he looks just fucking like you…” he said looking up at his brother who scolded him for the language receiving a ‘my bad’ from ash
“ash…” you said causing him to look up at you
“you wanna be his godfather?” you said looking at him with a smile
“you serious rn? of course..” he said smiling up at you two
“love you bro.” fez said to him
“i love you guys too.” he said which instantly made tears start forming in your eyes
a few hours later after you had showered and felt comfortable enough for guests rue, lexie,cassie,maddy,bb,kat and jules came to visit you all.
“can we come in?” you heard jules say from the other side of the door
“yeah!” you said quietly but loud enough for them to hear
“oh my gosh!!! he’s so cute!” “he looks just like you fez” “no way he looks like y/n!” all came from them as they all went on each side of your bed admiring the ginger haired blue-green eyed boy in your arms.
“so…i made a decision.” you said which made all the girls look at you
“it was extremely tough and i’m sorry if i hurt anyones feelings but i decided that i want………all of you to be his godmothers!! i’m not sure if that even works but who gives a shit. you all deserve it!” you said making them all smile and some cry, all of them hugging you immediately.
after about two hours of everyone being their it was just you,the baby,fez,ash and rue left.
“…so…..you guys decide on a name?” rue said breaking the comfortable silence
“uh yeah his name is Wyatt Ash O’Neill.” you said smiling at rue who lightly smiled back looking over her shoulder at ash who’s head immediately flew up from his phone.
“you just said ash is his middle name? like my name?” he said walking over to you and looking over at fezco
“yeah bro! surprise!” fez said smiling lazily at him
before you could even speak ash had his arms around you which shocked you for a second but you immediately hugged him back
“thank you y/n,for everything.” he said as you heard him sniffle
“i love you ash.” you said to him
“i love you too.” he said slowly pulling away and walking over to fezco to dab him up and pull him in for a hug.
“damn i feel like i need a hug now.” rue said causing everyone to laugh
this was all you ever wanted. this was your family.
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kitashinsvks · a year ago
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he makes you feel insecure
he accidentally makes you feel insecure
Pairings: Suna x Reader, Kita x Reader
Warnings: Mentions of insecurity, kinda angsty, happy ending
A/N: One of my longest so far, this wasn’t requested. I just wanted more Suna and Kita content
request here !!
masterlist
hmyi masterlist
Suna
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- You and Suna’s personalities contrasted
- You were bubbly while he was more passive.
- The both of you know that Suna tends to be sharp tongued, especially when something pisses him off.
- He had a bad day due to Atsumu calling him out for lazing around practice
- You tried to make him feel better but it didn’t turn out so well
“Rin, you should eat.” You said, placing a tray of snacks in front of him. The team’s practice dragged on and Suna was drained by the time that practice was over.
Suna grumbled, sitting up before narrowing his eyes on what you were wearing.
“Is that my hoodie?” Suna asked, you smiled a bit and nodded at him.
“Yeah, why?” You plopped a chip on your tongue, savoring the salty taste as you chewed.
“Well, don’t you have your own?” He asked, no hint of amusement in his tone at all, causing you to stop midchew. You nodded, swallowing the chip and biting back a frown.
“Then why don’t you wear your own clothes? I’m not paying for the hoodies for you, (Y/N).” You looked at him, trying to find signs that he was only saying that as a prank, but as you look at his fox like eyes, you see no signs of him kidding.
“I’m sorry if it bothers yo-” “Yes, it bothers me. I’ve been looking for my hoodies only to see you parading them around as if it were yours.” You take note of the tears building up in your eyes as you looked away and nodded at him.
“I’ll wash them and return it to you tomorrow in the morning, Rin.” You said, fighting the lump that built up in your throat. You could feel Suna nod at your statement as he pulled out his phone and began scrolling. You took out yours as well before sending a quick text to your friend to ask her to call you. Without question, your friend did. Your ringtone blasting, effectively breaking the tensed silence.
“I’m sorry, Rin. (friend) needs me for something. I have to go.”
“Wait, (Y/N).” he stopped you as you stood up and gathered your things.
“Yeah?” “Can I have that hoodie back?” You wanted to laugh bitterly at that, but you stopped yourself. Nodding, you took off the hoodie and placed it on his table.
“Be safe on your way out, (Y/N).” You give him a smile and thanks before closing the door shut as you left.
When you got home, you sought out every hoodie that belonged to Suna before folding them up and placing them in a bag after ensuring that it was clean.
His word rung through your head as you finally let a few tears slip.
You opened your closet and pulled your own hoodies, once you were done. You let yourself fall asleep, not noticing the texts that Suna was sending you.
The next day, you walked to your lockers and saw Suna already waiting for you. Once he felt your presence, he looked up from his phone and pocketed it before giving you a hug.
“Sorry for being kind of an asshole yesterday, baby.” He said as you hugged back, swallowing the lump in your throat.
“Oh, right. Here are your hoodies, Rin. I cleaned them before folding it.” You said, giving Suna the bag. He gave you a conflicted look. He was about to say something before he was cut off by the morning bell.
“Better go to your class, Rin.” You said before pecking his cheek and walking to your class.
Suna felt like there was something off about you. He shook his head at the thought. ‘If it bothers them, they would tell me.’ He thought before heading to his class.
You managed to get used to not asking your boyfriend for his hoodies, it was hard, but you managed. Even though you wanted nothing more but to inhale the cologne that left his hoodie whenever you wore them. Suna, on the other hand felt like there was something wrong especially when you stopped bugging him.
He noticed you went out shopping more with your friends. Your closet intaking more and more articles of long sleeves, he thought it was a good thing before he noticed that his hoodies stopped feeling warm after a while.  
Suna, who was supposed to be over the moon after his hoodies have been returned to him, felt like there was something missing whenever he pulled his hoodies over his figure.
Your scent. It was your scent that was missing.
Suna then noticed that after you returned his missing hoodies, you stopped asking for his ever since. He thought of anything that he could’ve done for you to stop approaching him, then his mind went back to what he said when he was in a bad mood.
‘Fuck.’
Suna almost beat himself up mentally for not noticing how much his words affected you, he had to make this right.
“Hey, baby.” He said opening your room’s door before plopping himself next to you on the bed, you gave him a smile and a peck on the cheek before scrolling through your phone.
Suna peered at your phone to see you on a shopping application, scrolling through various clothing, his heart feeling heavy when you pressed on a hoodie design.
“Hey.” He called out, you looked up from your phone, silently asking to continue his statement.
“It seems a bit cold in your room, do you want my hoodie?” He asked, you were tempted to say yes but his words once more evaded your thoughts.
“Ah, no thank you.” You smiled at the offer even though you were having a battle inside your mind for being stubborn. “I have my own.” You said before reaching out to the foot of your bed where a hoodie rested, for nights where your blanket wasn’t enough.
“Oh.. yeah.” Suna awkwardly said, his heart dropping at the blatant rejection.
“Are you sure you don’t want mine? It’s your favorite hoodie.” He attempted once more. You shook your head before your started to pull your hoodie over your figure.
“No thank you, it’s yours.” You said, before you knew it you were wrapped around in Suna’s arms.
“Rin… What?”
“I didn’t mean it.” He mumbled. Your eyes pricked, knowing exactly what he was talking about.
“I just really had a bad day that day, I’m so sorry for saying those words to you. I miss the scent you leave on my hoodies. I want it back.” He said, tightening his hug on your body. You ran your fingers comfortingly on his back knowing how hard this must’ve been for him to let out, especially knowing that he tends to not show off any emotions.
“Aw, Rin.” You sighed, he grunted in response, burying his face on your chest, trying to memorize the comforting scent that he was too foolish to let go of.
“I’m sorry too.”
“You have nothing to apologize for. Don’t say you’re sorry.” His voice mumbled out. You pulled his face from your chest to face you, his eyes filled with guilt as you smiled at him.
“If it makes you feel any better. I forgive you.” You smiled.
“Take my hoodie.”
“What?”
“I’m going to feel better if you take my hoodie and forget the stupidity I said before.” You laughed before letting him pull off your hoodie before he replaced it with his.
His scent overfilled your senses as you pulled on the collar to sniff it.
Suna’s heart swelled up at the sight, before plopping himself beside you and cuddling against you.
“Baby?”
“Yes, Rin?”
“Let’s go to sleep.”
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 Kita
- We all know he is a straightforward captain
- Not only as a captain but also as a person
- You’re no exemption to his cold ways and you’re aware of that
- He often forgets that you do not have the same mindset he does
- So that leads to a string of misunderstandings
- Bb doesn’t really know why he offended you
It was a tensed practice. The team was feeling pressured due to Kita’s unwavering presence. Atsumu and Osamu kept yelling at each other. Suna was just filming the whole thing, unbothered. No matter what Kita said, his voice was overpowered over Atsumu and Osamu’s argument.
Their manager, Rui, had managed to quiet the twins down. The team finally letting out a breath that they held. Kita showed her his thanks as the team went back to practice properly. The tension was still there.
You came in, having a small skip to your step. Smiling as you went inside the gym with a bag of snacks to give to the team. You were a second-year manager, having been convinced by Suna to join the volleyball team. You were glad you did because you have somehow managed to catch the attention of the cold-logic captain.
Not noticing the tension in the room, you placed the snacks down and you went to the place beside your senior manager and talked about the events you missed while you were out.
After a practice set was done, Rui walked out of the gym to gather retrieve the jerseys that were washed. You walked over to Kita to relay some good news on your part.
“You’re late.” His cold voice started. Your smile dropped a bit at his tone before apologizing.
“I’m so-”
“How are you supposed to fully take charge of the team as a manager if you can’t even make it into practices on time.” By now, everyone was listening to the exchange. Atsumu was looking at you worriedly as you shook your head slight, smile still on your face.
“Look, Shin. It’s not as if I wanted to be late-”
“But you were.” He cut you off, you swallowed and nodded your head. He was right. However, it wasn’t your fault that the teacher asked you to stay back in order to relay news that you were one of the students who climbed up in the academic ranks. Unable to contain your excitement to the news, you thought of buying the team some food to brighten up their day as well. Being selfless was one of the traits that made Kita fall for you.
“If you could just let me explain then maybe you-”
“(L/N)-san. Whatever reason you have is inexcusable. You should know that as a manager you are expected to be courteous in these types of assemblies.” He stated, still with a straight face.
You are no exemption to Kita’s cold logic.
“Kita-san, I don’t think (L/N)-san wanted to be late.” Akagi tried helping you out.
Kita looked back at him with piercing eyes, the latter letting out a shiver. “However, they are still late. Am I correct?” Akagi hesitantly nodded, shooting you an apologetic look. You smiled in thanks for his defense.
Kita turned to look back at you, “We do not need a manager who thinks that they have all the time in the world and show up late to practice.” He started, your smile dropping at his words.
“How are the third years supposed to leave when they know they are about to leave the team in the hands of an incompetent manager.”
“Oi, Kita.” Aran warned, Kita turned to face him. “You’re going too far.”
“I have not said anything that are not based on observations.” He stated, before looking at you once more.
“You are nowhere Rui’s level of duty.” And with that, you blinked the tears you didn’t know you were holding. The action shocking everyone in the room as they did not expect Kita to say such words to his (S/O).
“I get it, Kita. You need not remind me and I apologize for dragging the team down.” You said as loud as your voice can muster. At this point, the whole team wants to desperately console you, but you surprised them both with a smile.
“I guess you are right, Kita-san.” You started. “Maybe this job is not meant for me, I apologize for not being like Rui.” You bowed before making your way out the door, momentarily stopping to face Suna. “I apologize for not meeting your team’s expectations, Rinta.” And with that you left the gym.
The gym was quiet. No one wanting to make a sound. No one knowing how to approach what just unfolded in front of their eyes.
Everyone eyed each other awkwardly, Suna stood up from his place and looked at Kita who was cleaning a volleyball with a blank look on his face.
“Well, I’m done with practice.” Suna called out, zipping his practice bag.
“Practice isn’t over, we still have 2 hours!” Ginjima said, looking nervously between the captain and his teammate.
“Yeah, well. If I see my best friend crying due to the insensitivity of their boyfriend, I think it is my responsibility as a best friend to check up on them.” Suna said, Kita’s head perking up at his words.
“Practice will still be practice tomorrow, but (Y/N)’s wellbeing is my priority right now.” With those words, Osamu stood up and packed up as well, deciding to side with Suna on this.
“See ya.”
 Ever since that incident, you have avoided Kita like the plague. Which was made easy due to your year difference.
Osamu and Atsumu updates you on his wellbeing, even though you don’t ask. They know that you still care about their captain.
Your phone is filled with countless unread messages from Kita who asked about how you are and if you and him can talk. You did not reply to a single one, leaving him on delivered since the past few days.
It doesn’t mean that he did not try to talk to you, because he did. It was only because Suna and the twins never left your side so he did not get the proper timing.
“Are you really sure about this, (Y/N)?” Atsumu asked as you signed the resignation form of your managerial responsibilities.
“I think it would be for the best, my own boyfriend did say that I’m not competent enough to manage you.” You smiled bitterly as flashbacks from that day evaded your mind.
Suna and the twins frowned at your statement, the four of you walking to the coach’s office.
“Text us if you need up to pick you up, (Y/N)-chan.” Osamu said, ruffling your hair a bit. You scoffed at his actions.
“We’re in school, as if I’ll get lost.” You joked as you bid the three of them goodbye and knocking on the coach’s door.
“Pardon me for intruding-” Your words were cut off as you realized the coach was not alone and was with Kita, reviewing different reports.
“Ah, what brings you here, (Y/N)?” The sound of your name made Kita perk up, looking at you with longing despite his deadpanned expression.
“I can come back at a better time, sir.” You said, the coach shook his head before gesturing to the documents on your hand.
“I came to drop off my resignation paper, I’m sorry, sir.” Kita’s eyes widened at those words and he uncharacteristically dragged you out of the room with a small goodbye to the coach, your papers in Kita’s hands.
“You are not leaving the team, (Y/N).” Kita plainly stated. You scoffed, trying to retrieve back your documents.
“I don’t think you have a right to say what I can or cannot do, Kita-san.”
He looked down on the ground before sighing and looking back at you. Next thing you knew he had his arms wrapped around you, you wanted to struggle. But you know you don’t want to lie to yourself and say you do not miss your boyfriend’s presence.
You sighed, arms hanging by limply at your sides, itching to hug Kita back.
“I’ve been a terrible boyfriend.” You almost wanted to laugh at that. You tried pulling away from his hug, but you noticed his grip tightening and his arms slightly shaking, as if you would disappear if you pulled away from his grasp.
“I’ve said some things that I am not proud of.” He started, “I broke my promise to you and hurt you with my words.”
“Kita-san, it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay, love.” Your heart swooned at his pet name.
“I shouldn’t have said those words, I wasn’t thinking.”
“Well, Kita-”
“Since when did you call me Kita, It’s Shin to you.” He cut you off, earning a short laugh from you, before your voice turned somber.
“I know you don’t mean it, but like as you said. Those came from observations. And you’re right. I do not deserve to be the manager.”
He pulled away slightly, “I cannot express how sorry I am to have made you doubt your capabilities like that.” He placed his chin on top of your head, you felt tears building up once more as you blinked them away, Kita felt your slight shaking, he pulled away before placing his thumbs under your eyes.
“I’m sorry, love. Hurting you was my last intention.” He said before pressing a soft kiss on your forehead, you gripped the hands that caressed your face before giving him a small smile.
“It’s fine, Shinsuke.”
“Please stay.”
You give him a nod as his eyes softened, a small smile on his face as he leaned down to give you a soft kiss.
“I missed you.” You smiled as you pulled away.
“As have I, my love.” Kita responded.
“Not to ruin your moment, but it’s time for practice.” Atsumu’s voice interrupted your moment, followed by a sharp thwack on his head, courtesy of Aran.
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fanficsonthebrain · 11 months ago
Text
Bucky x Reader Masterlist [Part 1]
all Bucky x Reader fics I’ve reblogged and recommended!
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Part 2 | Part 3 | 
*Smut
Sincere by bonkywobble
Body by buckyswintersoldiermask [Bucky x Insecure Reader]
HC: Bucky when you get hurt on a mission by buckyswintersoldiermask
Safe Heaven by captainwans
Let Me Give You A Hand by angrythingstarlight
*Easy Love by babyboibucky
Soup & Cuddles by beyondspaceandstars
Begin Again by another-writer
Messing With Bucky’s Hair by elijahs-wife
Bucky Losing His Mind Over Domesticity by modern-vellichor
Our Space by babyboibucky
Kiss Me Goodnight by babyboibucky
*Angel on Her Knees by babyboibucky
*Good Morning by angrythingstarlight
Then. Now. Always. by gogolucky13
A Little Old Fashioned by gogolucky13
Do you still love me? by thatfangirl42
Slow Dancing by baroquebucky
Soft Bucky Headcanons by baroquebucky
Coffee Date Drabble by thundering-barnes
You Cheeky Slink by my-simp-land
Bruises by baroquebucky
Bucky’s love language by noshame-bb
Love Language by capxwinter
Birth Day by ughhheragain
nsfw alphabet: Bucky Barnes by slutkovia
Booknerd Bucky Headcanon by stuckysgirl
2:48 a.m. by sergeantxrogers
Bedside by blueseasfanfics
Bucky waking up Reader Headcanon by buckyblues
Bucky comes back from a mission in a bad mood HC by avenging-fandoms
Game Night by lunaserenade
Lover is a Day by baroquebucky
Those Days by babyboibucky
I’m Breaking Up With You by cumonbucky
A Hundred Years From Today by jettia
Cuddling with Bucky HC by cap-n-stuff
Stealing his clothes by buckyswintersoldiermask
Dancing with Bucky HC by sebbystansbabydoll
Reader wants attention by awhitewolfandhisvibraniumshield
*Guilty Pleasure by x-childish-x
*Blissful Living by jobean12-blog [also dad!bucky]
The Next Step by thecornerlot
Bucky Barnes: The Plant Doctor by the-daydream-queen
Uno by thatfangirl42
Reader likes Bucky’s dog tags HC by baroquebucky
*Casual Conversations by bitchassbucky
You’re not going to work by winter-soldier-vibes
Baby let’s stay home tonight by ironmansuucks
*Returning The Favour (part 2) by acourtofsnakes
What a Nightmare by buckybarnesdiaries
how bucky reacts to you... by wintersfilm
Coffee Cups and Morning Promises by iliveiloveiwrite
Military!Reader is exhausted HC by world-of-aus
who the hell is james barnes? by euphoric-barnes
Lazy Day with Bucky Drabble by buckyblues
Salty Kisses by strwbrrybucky
It’s A Match by strwbrrybucky
Hygge by the-bau-quinjet
Play Fight by blueseasfanfics
Your Touch by marvelettesassemblenow
Bandaging up an Injury by ohbuckie
Brading Bucky’s Hair by lokithealligator
Types of Kisses by forever-rogue
Play Pretend Part 1 & *Part  2 by wkemeup
Bucky x Plus size!reader by buckysbiota
Hold Me, Please by starknik22
Grumpy Bucky Barnes by forever-rogue
Little Black Dress by thefallenbibliophilequote
Bucky’s Little Tricks by buckysboobs
*Oh La La by jobean12-blog
Dirty Paws & Wet Kisses by sunshineandaisies
dream a little dream of me by blissfullybarnes
Early Mornings With Bucky Would Include by bucky-laufeyson
Scared of loosing you by spidervveb
A Puppy by soldierswar
A Handful of Love by jobean12-blog
*Angel by winter-james
*teaching you how to deepthroat by buckyhoney
*Midnight Bucky Drabble by xxindiglow
Home by barnestuff
Period Care Headcanons by bloodorangesoup
*Tiny by bucksfucks
When he’s away by pellucid-constellations
Oh, Honey by wellwellfuckmewell
*In his arms by bibbidibobbidibucky
Pregnancy Drabble by barnestuff
*Needy Bucky Drabble by angrythingstarlight
*Dom!Bucky by becca-e-barnes
*Oral Fixation by boxofbonesfic
*Skype/Sex w/ Bucky by boxofbonesfic
*Writers Block Pt. Two by sagechanoafterdark
*A beefy!Bucky happy trail by angrythingstarlight
Menace by cupidsbarnes
Jealous by pellucid-constellations
Wash Day by rommahh
*Dom!Bucky by becca-e-barnes
*Lover vs Lover - Don’t Give In by jobean12-blog
Bucky Bear by buchananssmolbean
Pretty by barnestuff
Bucky with Alpine drabble by angrythingstarlight
Mornings like this by dailyreverie
*Bucky has a size kink by angrythingstarlight
Your Age is Showing by floatingpetals
Quiet by artromantics
*let me help by bibbidibobbidibucky
Dating Badboy!Bucky Barnes in high school would include by buckys-moonbeam
*Dom!Bucky by becca-e-barnes
*Head empty just thots by angrythingstarlight
*Beefy!Bucky Drabble by angrythingstarlight
Hundreds of Kisses by jobean12-blog
*Play Pretend by wkemeup
touch by barnestuff
good morning kisses by houseravenclaws
In His Arms by onlyjamesbarnes
The normal amount of (horny) cuddling by fbfh
cleaning up by bibbidibobbidibucky
Endearing Nicknames by celebrities-imagines
Here To Help by itsjustmelainey
Bikini by artromantics
Voicemails to an Unmanned Inbox by pellucid-constellations
language by barnestuff
Giggly Cuddles by dailyreverie [poc!reader]
*Lessons in Exercise by angrythingstarlight
Drabble by bemine-bucky
It’s All Fun and Games by jobean12-blog
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sundaysundaes · a year ago
Text
Started With A Kiss
Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader | Actor AU, Smut, Fluff, Humor | NC-17 | 10K
Summary: Rookie actor, Lee Haechan, desperately wants to get the lead role in the highly anticipated upcoming TV drama. He’s sure he has what it takes to fill the part. Acting as a hero? No problem. Pretending to overcome his traumatic experience? Consider it done. A bed scene? Easy—wait, no. That might be a problem. But he should be fine as long as he gets to rehearse, right?
Warnings:  protected sex, oral sex, crude humor, swearing, literally 10k of sex with very little plot, a lot of playful banters between sassy!hyuck and equally sassy!Y/N
Wrote this for my love Kira @flopim​ who’s been having a tough time lately. I hope this will cheer you up bb! ❤️
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“I want you to make love to me.”
Standing there, still dressed in your bright pink pajamas with your hair resembling a bird’s nest, you can only blink once, twice, and several times more because surely, your ears are playing tricks on you. There’s no way that your best friend, the cutely annoying and annoyingly cute, Lee Haechan—the one who’s been practically glued to your skin like a conjoined twin of yours for the last two years—is asking you to make love to him. 
Surely, this is not what you’d expected to see when you opened the door to your apartment, ready to bark at whoever it was who dared to disturb your beauty sleep (since it is seven in the morning on a Sunday), only to see him standing in his blue ripped jeans and black Michael Jackson shirt with his cheeks flushed, his bag hanging loosely on his shoulder, brown eyes desperately begging for your attention. 
And you’re most definitely sure that he’s not asking you to sleep with him when you still have drool on the corner of your mouth and a terrible morning breath (in your defense, you have brushed your teeth but that was, like, six hours ago).
But when seconds have passed and Haechan still looks like he badly needs to hear an answer, you have very little options but to ask, “You want me to do what to who now?”
Catching a sniff of your mighty dragon’s breath, he promptly takes a step back, scrunching his nose while frantically covering half of his face with the script he’s been holding. “Eew, God, what is that smell?” Ignoring your glare, he repeats his words, voice muffled by the papers. “I said, I want you to make love to me.”
“What—”
“Damn it, woman, just brush your teeth and let me in!”
When he’s stomping his feet while whining that loudly—loud enough for your fucking landlord to hear, along with everybody else in the building (including your cute neighbor, Jaehyun, oh dear God, no), he doesn’t give you any other choice but to invite him in, does he?
You step away from the door, flatly muttering, “Please, come in, why don’t you.” Haechan doesn’t waste any second waiting, making sure to run and stay as far away as possible from you so he won’t inhale the poisonous air that’s tainted with your breath again. 
You roll your eyes. Dramatic little shit. But just to be on the safe side, you make your way to the bathroom.
***
The scalding hot shower you just took was comforting but not enough to wash your entire drowsiness away. You’re in dire need of your caffeine intake. “Would you like some coffee, my king?” You ask between a yawn, hands finding their way to the coffee jar on your kitchen counter.
Haechan throws his bag to the floor, body sinking into the comfort of your couch. “With milk, please.”
"I’m kidding.”
“Well, I’m not.” He throws one of those cheeky grins that you adore—no, wait, you hate—as he settles his legs on your coffee table. “Less sugar but more milk. I’m still growing.”
“Growing what, your balls?” You pour him a cup of coffee as requested, yes, because to balance his demonic behavior, you have to act like the perfect angel that you are. “Since you don’t have any?”
“You mean, like your boyfriend?” Haechan retorts before he gasps dramatically, his palm going to his mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t have a boyfriend.”
You hover above him from behind the couch, bringing two mugs filled with sizzling hot coffee. “Want to repeat that?” You tip your mug just a little bit until it nearly spills on his forehead.
Haechan winces, attempting to grin. “I’m sorry, I love you, please don’t ruin my face. It’s the only thing that’s good about me.”
“It surely is.”
“Yah, what does that mean?”
“Take it as a compliment.” 
Sitting next to him, you sip your coffee and curse silently when the liquid burns your tongue. “Okay, so what about this ‘make love to me’ thing you said earlier? Please tell me it’s just a figure of speech or something.”
“I wish.” He drags his legs away from the table so he can lay his cup down because apparently, he means business. “Okay, I know you’re gonna kill me after you hear—”
“After? I’m about to kill you now, actually.” You scoff. “Don’t you remember what we’ve agreed on? You cannot bother me when I’m still too sleepy to smack you in the head, Haechannie.”
“When did we ever—” He stops. “Why are you going to smack me in the head?” 
“‘Cause you’ll say something stupid.”
“Who says I’m gonna say something stupid?”
“You always say something stupid. You’re saying something stupid now!”
“It’s not stupid.” He sighs exasperatedly but when your flat, degrading stare comes into view, it morphs into a groan. “Well, not that stupid. I’ve thought about this—really thought about it—and I can’t find anyone else to do this but you since you’re the only girl I’m friends with. I mean, I can pick random girls, I suppose—you know how popular I am. They just can’t stop talking about me. My hair, my eyes—”
“—your tiny dick.”
“But I don’t want to break any girl’s heart by doing something that’s gonna make them feel like I’m just using them to get a job, you know? I know I’m hot but these good looks aren’t meant to trample people’s hearts.”
“And you don’t care how I’m gonna feel?”
He has the decency to act like he’s thinking about it, but then, “No, not really.”
“Thanks.”
“Look, I really need your help.” He takes it as further as holding your hand between his, puckering his pouty lips, and blinking his eyes in a way that’s cute enough to leave you in daze so you pretend like you’re about to vomit your insides to cover it up. 
Okay, so there’s one thing—one little thing that nobody knows—that you’re too ashamed to admit and that is the fact that you have a massive crush on this boy who sits in front of you with his socks unmatched. Well, no, not massive. It used to be massive during the first few weeks you knew him. How could you not? Haechan was so cute, you wanted to turn him into a doll so you could carry him around in your backpack and squish his cheeks whenever you feel like it. Sure, he’s not all jawlines and dimples like that neighbor of yours (Jung Jaehyun was probably sculpted by God himself ), but Haechan has his own charms. His devilish smirk, his loud, contagious laughter, his naughty eyebrow raise, and his lips—God, his beautiful plump lips, the way they look so pouty and soft. Honestly, you can write a whole essay about his attractive features (not that you haven’t already).
You knew you were crazy for him when the antics he did annoyed the hell out of his friends but to you, he was just plain adorable. And you realized you were pretty much fucked-up when Jeno said, “Fucking Lee Donghyuck said he forgot his wallet and robbed me this morning. Who the fuck orders a freakin’ wagyu steak for breakfast?!” and the only thing you could think of was how nice it was to go on a date with him and how your first kiss with him was going to be like (poor Jeno, though). 
It’s not that you love him or anything. It’s mostly physical, nothing more—at least for now anyway. It’s not your fault that he’s so fucking pretty that he ends up showing every now and then in your fantasy, doing indescribable naughty things that will definitely make Mark splash some holy water on your face if he knew what was going on in your head.
Fortunately, now that you’ve been friends with him for two years, that massive crush you had has turned into something normal, something you can easily hide. And can be forgotten even, whenever another cute guy—like Na Jaemin, for example—takes you out on a date or two. It’s easier to breathe these days.
“Hello? Are you there?” Haechan snaps his fingers, waking you up from your reverie. “What’s your answer? Do you want to make love to me or not?”
‘It’s easier to breathe these days?’ More like fucking kill me. 
“Can you stop saying that?” You pinch the bridge of your nose. “You’re giving me headaches.” Or a heart attack, more accurately. “Assume I said yes. Don’t you think it’s gonna get a little weird between us?”
“What is so weird about it?” He throws his hands in the air, exhausted and impatient. “It’s just gonna be two friends, pretending to be in love with each other, hugging, kissing, touching, and having sweet, tender sex.” Realization falls upon him and you resist the urge to exhale loudly. “Yeah, okay, so it is a little weird, but it should be fine, right? It’s just acting. It’s not like you have any feelings for me, do you?”
If by feelings you mean picturing you naked in my head with your mouth sucking on my neck, then yeah, I do have feelings for you. Plenty of that. But on the outside, you say, “Eew, God, no.”
Haechan squints his eyes at your response. “Can’t say I’m not hurt with the way you said it, but eew, God, no to you too. Well, if that’s the case then I’m sure we’ll be fine,” he says, sipping his coffee, and retracts his mouth as soon as the flavor hits his tongue. “What the hell is this?! Did you spit on my coffee or something?”
You didn’t but for your amusement, you throw him a sly grin. “A little.” It’s satisfying to see him looking like he’s about to pass out. “I’m still worried how it’s gonna affect our friendship later on though.”
He simply shrugs. “Meh. We’re not really that close to begin with anyway.” He takes another sip of his coffee by accident and nearly vomits for real. “Fucking hell—take this shit out of my face.”
“I'm still not sure about this, Haechannie.”
“Look, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to you, we’re just going to pretend! Acting!” He exclaims as if that was the most normal thing a friend could ask another friend. “And you’re gonna be acting out a love scene with someone as hot as me. Consider yourself lucky.”
“Consider yourself dead.”
“Damn it, my audition is in two days and I really want to get this role!” He’s whining, tugging at your hand like a baby as he practically throws himself at your feet, graveling for your mercy. “You’re the only one who can help me with this. How can I act properly if I don’t have enough experience to perform a freaking bed scene?!”
“I don’t think actors who have to play dead have enough experience of, you know, being dead.”
“Excellent point.” Haechan stares at you blankly, unimpressed. “Do you hear yourself when you talk?”
“Do you?”
A few seconds passed by in silence with the two of you exchanging sinister glares until he finally surrenders with a prominent pout on his face. “Fine, if you don’t want to.” Haechan exhales dramatically, his shoulders sagging and when you don’t respond, he sighs again only louder this time. “I guess, I have to force Mark to make out with me. Again.” He sneaks a glance to see your reaction. “And have my face slapped with a Bible. Again.”
You wince at the thought. “How did you force him, exactly?”
“Just…” He timidly scratches his nose. “Kinda attacked him in his sleep.”
You nod in understanding even when it’s the most idiotic thing you’ve ever heard. “Well, maybe he would’ve been fine with it if you had taken him out for a nice dinner before that.”
Haechan smiles a little at your words, and even a little glimpse of it is contagious enough to make your own spread wider on your face. Small chuckles resonate through the air and he playfully bumps his shoulder against yours, his palm resting on your knuckles.
“On a more serious note,” Haechan says, “I know that asking you to rehearse a bed scene with me is too much and way out of line. But I swear, I’m not gonna touch you if you’re so uncomfortable with it. Won’t even hold your hand, I promise.” Then he notices he’s still holding your hand from earlier. He drops it immediately, clearing his throat. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” It’s more than fine. His hand seems to fit yours in a way that nobody ever does but there’s no way you’re gonna tell him that. “So, we’re just gonna be practicing lines?”
“Exactly.” He rubs his nape, suddenly a bit bashful. “Well, I was hoping to at least kiss you—just to, you know, know how it’d feel like.”
“You’ve never kissed before?”
“I have, obviously.” He rolls his eyes, disgusted at your question. “I’m not a fucking virgin if that’s what you’re assuming.”
“Chill, don’t get your panties in a twist. Nah, I know you’re not a virgin from how many times you’ve had sex with yourself.”
“Hey!” 
“But then, why do you need to practice? Can’t you just go straight to your castmates, and kiss the bejeezus out of them?”
Donghyuck runs a hand through his face. “It’s… I’ve never done it for a role,” he professes, faint blush blooming on his cheeks, “And the scene is supposed to be intimate and I’ve never… You know…”
You gesture at him to clarify more with your hands. “You’ve never…?”
“You know…” The color on his face turns brighter. “T-the thing.”
“What thing? Never made-out in public? Never had sex outdoor?” You act clueless just because you’re liking his reaction. “Never had a finger stuck in your ass? What? Please do enlighten me.”
“I’ve never been in love, you witch!” Haechan is adorable when he’s fuming. Nostrils blaring, eyebrows knitting together in an angry frown, scarlet cheeks all puffed out. He looks like a terribly pissed Pomeranian.
Man, if I could just take a picture. “Oh, okay. So have you had your finger stuck in your ass?”
“I swear to God—”
“Kidding. I know you have.” But even when Haechan is nearly ripping your cheeks apart from your face, your giggles are never-ending. “So, you’re nervous?” You snort, raising an eyebrow. “You, the obnoxious, desperate-for-attention Lee Haechan, are nervous?”
“Will you help me out or not?!”
You pretend like you’re contemplating about it when truth is, every part of your body and mind is just screaming what the heck are you waiting for? He’s asking you to rehearse a bed scene—a. bed. scene! And he said he wanted to kiss you, for God’s sake! So, really, what else is there to say but “Okay.”
Haechan widens his eyes. “Okay?”
“Okay.” You try your best to appear nonchalant. “But you’ll owe me a favor. A huge one.”
“Anything,” he instantly agrees, “As long as I’m not dead, you have my words.”
You’re not yet sure what you’re planning to ask him but seeing his enthusiasm, you know it’s going to be good. “Great. So, umm, do you want to do it now or…?”
“Whenever you’re ready.”
“Here?”
“Wherever you want.”
“Man, you’re giving me too much power. I should’ve agreed to this way sooner.” You can practically feel your face splitting in half from how wide you’re grinning. “My room, then? I mean, a bed scene requires… a bed, right?”
Haechan laughs and even after two years, it still sounds like your most favorite thing in the world. “No, it doesn’t necessarily require a bed but sure.” He jumps out from the couch, taking you by the hand, and only by that, you can already feel your heart thumping a tad faster. But the second he walks into your room, he makes a face. “Why does it smell like something died in here?”
“Because something did die. Your dignity.”
The tickling fight doesn’t occur very often between you and Lee Haechan but once it starts, it means war.
***
“Okay, so…” Haechan hands you the script, already opened to show you a page filled with dialogues and short narratives. He scoots closer on the bed, his knee a few inches away from grazing yours as they dangle from the edge. “Just from the top of the page, here.” He points with his finger and you do a quick scan, trying to get a picture of the intimate scene you’re going to do. “So, a quick summary. Your character, Aeri, has been in love with my character, Donghyun. In the earlier scene, you’ve confessed your love to me but I rejected you because we’ve been friends for so long and I didn’t want to ruin what we have. But then, later on, some things happened and I ended up catching feelings for you and this is the part where I’m gonna be telling you how I really feel and then we start kissing and—”
“Then we have sex,” you utter in dismay, but butterflies are erupting from your stomach due to the anticipation.
“No,” Haechan corrects you, “We make love.”
“Is there any difference?”
“There are more feelings involved, not just out of sheer passion. It’s slower. Tender. Intimate.” And when he notices you raising a questioning brow at him, he sighs. “That thing you did with Jaemin? Fucking like bunnies? The opposite of that.”
You mock him by imitating his sigh exaggeratedly and receiving a flick on the nose in return. “Is it just me or is the script pretty lousy?”
He nods. “But they’ll pay you good money for this.”
“I thought the reason you became an actor was to create art not money.”
“When I’m rich, maybe. Right now, I gotta pay for my rent. And apparently, Jeno keeps chasing my ass, forcing me to pay him back. It was just a wagyu steak for fuck’s sake.” He grumbles to himself, momentarily distracted. “Anyway,” he cracks his neck, “I’ve memorized my lines. Wanna give it a go?”
“Okay, let’s try. I guess I’ll be fine if it’s just kissing. Even if it’s with you.” When in reality you’re only agreeing to this because it’s with him.
Haechan’s eyes gleam brighter, ears practically perking up like an excited puppy. “Really?”
“You’re that excited at the thought of kissing me?” You play smug but you could practically hear your heartbeat blasting through your ears. “What else have you been thinking about me?”
“I’m not excited at the thought of kissing you, dumbass,” he spits back, the spark in his eyes vanishes in an instant. “I’m excited that finally I can practice kissing scenes with someone who’s actually willing to do it, and not, you know, like with the back of my hand or something.”
“You…” Failing to hold back a grin, you burst out laughing. “You made out with your hand?”
It’s funny that even when his skin is golden as if it was kissed by the sun, it still shows vividly on his face whenever he blushes. “I didn’t mean it literally—”
“I can’t believe you made out with your hand.”
“Would you just—” He nearly suffocates you with your pillow but you quickly retaliate by kicking him in the stomach.
Tears are prickling at the corner of your eyes. “Man, that mental image of yours making out with your hand will live in my mind rent-free for as long as I live.” When you still can’t stop laughing, Haechan is practically baring his teeth. “Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s get this going. If it gets too uncomfortable for me, I’ll stop.”
“Of course.” 
“At any time I want.”
“Your call.” He nods in agreement with the most serious expression you’ve ever seen him do; it almost doesn’t seem like him. 
“Good,” you say. “Now, I’ve never acted once in my life so if you laugh at me, I will sneak into your room at night and pour hot coffee on your computer.”
There’s fear fleeting through his eyes but he gives another nod. “Deal.”
“All right…” You take a deep breath, willing your heart to stop hammering against your ribcages, and for once, focus more on the script instead of the shape of his pretty, pretty mouth. “What are you doing here?” You follow the script, voice a little bit shaky as you’re still embarrassed with everything you’re doing. Haechan closes his eyes and you’re about to throw a joke to tease him about actor Haechan coming alive but when he opens them and gazes at you, you sit still, frozen.
“I wanted to see you,” he says, voice so delicate, it startles you. He’s so serious about this that you don’t find the strength within you to tease him like how you usually do. Somehow, the little gestures he makes, the changes in his expression alter the air along with the tension in the room. Suddenly, it feels like you’re standing next to him under the spotlight, hundreds of pairs of eyes following your every movement. 
“It’s—” You swallow your breath, tongue lays heavy in your mouth. “It's pouring outside, why are you—”
“I love you,” he vocalizes, his eyes gentle and heartbroken. His voice suddenly sounds a pitch lower, reverberating through the air until it sends goosebumps to the tiny hairs on your nape. He waits for your reply and you have to blink twice to slap yourself back to reality.
“W-what?”
“I’m sorry it took me this long to realize, but I do. I’m in love with you, hopelessly so.” He reaches out to cup your cheek, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. Though he has pretty hands, his fingertips are not as soft as you had imagined them to be, but they feel better, feel real. His warmth is unfamiliar to your skin but it feels more pleasant than anything that ever touches you. “Maybe you’re unaware of this, but it kills me to know that I’ve hurt you because I simply couldn’t be brave enough to accept my feelings. The reason why I didn’t want us to be together was because I didn’t want to ruin what we have, not knowing that we could be something more.”
Haechan’s lines fit your situation so much that you wish he wasn’t acting. It’s amazing how he’s changing into an entirely different persona and yet, it feels so natural as if he has been that person all along. Your breathing gets heavier as you take a brief look at the script, searching for your lines. “This feels unreal…”
“Do you still love me?” Haechan lifts your face by the chin, his touch is paper-thin. 
You wet your lips, head swirling. “But Donghyun—”
“Do you still love me?” He repeats, emphasizing with his tone. His eyes are peering into yours and you wonder maybe the quote eyes deeper than the sea refers to his gaze. “Or is it too late for me?” His thumb drifts to your lip, caressing your bottom one, your lip balm sticking to his skin. 
“I do,” you reply. He’s so pretty. You’ve never taken a glance longer than a few seconds at his close-up face, but now that you’re in this close proximity, you can finally witness the two tiny moles on his cheek, the beautiful shape of his dark eyes, the delicate curve of his lips… “I do love you, Donghyuck.”
A few seconds of silence hangs in the air when Haechan stops, his eyebrows furrowing. “Umm—it’s Donghyun, actually.”
Fuck! “Right!” You nearly leap out of your bed, face aflame. “Donghyun! Of course! I don’t know why I said that. Donghyuck is your name, I know that—” Fuck, fuck, fuck, just fucking kill me. “Sorry, umm—nervous.”
Fortunately for you, Haechan buys your bluff. “Rookie mistake,” he chuckles and you exaggeratedly roll your eyes to play along. “Okay, let’s start over. Do you still love me?”
“I do,” you respond too rigidly, making him glance away so he won’t break into laughter. “I do love you, Donghyun. Dong-Hyun.”
“Good,” he improvises, as it’s not written in the script. He has a tiny smile on his face and you like to think that it’s just him doing a terrible job at hiding his amusement. But when he swats your bangs out of your eyes, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, he seems like he’s seeing the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his whole life. The adoration in his eyes, his loving gaze—they are so vivid, they nearly consume you. “Because I don’t think I can resist this any longer…”
You’re lost in his eyes, lost in his touch, lost in his warmth. It’s until Haechan nudges his head slightly, indicating you to wake up, you’ve got a line to say, that you jolt, eyes hurriedly going down to the script, seeking your lines. “Umm—“ You flinch. You sound so jittery, it’s terrible. “R-resist what…?”
But Haechan doesn’t pay a mind that you just stuttered from saying two words. He doesn’t ask you to start over. Instead, he presses his forehead against yours, his breath mingling in the air and you can taste the scent of sandalwood and summer. Combined with his soft breathing, you’re almost stuck in a haze, just reeling in the feeling of how this man is now closer to you than he has ever been in the past two years and it’s better than anything you’ve ever imagined.
“Resist this,” he whispers and before you can look down to check whether you have more lines to say, Haechan dips his head, his lips brushing against yours, ever so faintly at first but when you gasp, he presses harder, framing your cheeks with both hands before he moves one down to your waist. Unlike his fingertips, his lips are soft—softer than silk or the cotton candy he once bought you. But it’s not the way they feel or the way he tastes that distract you the most. It’s the way he moves them, parting his lips slightly so he can blend with yours, your lower lip fits perfectly between his plump ones. It’s the way he sighs, so contentedly, as if kissing you was everything he ever wanted.
You close your eyes, hands reaching up to his collar, wanting to feel him more, wanting to touch him—
Haechan breaks away, placing both hands on your shoulders. “How was it?”
You’ve never had someone splash cold water on your face but you figure it might feel something like this. Your voice grows hoarse when you speak. “How was what?”
“The kiss!” Haechan’s eyes are filled with concern, analyzing your expression. “Was it romantic enough? Tender enough? Did it properly convey the desperation and longing my character feels for yours?”
You knew this was a bad idea. You fucking knew it. So, why are you still hurt when he acts like he feels exactly nothing by that kiss? This is just an acting lesson for him. You should have been prepared. 
“It’s good,” you answer, averting your gaze and hiding your eyes behind your bangs. Your heart is still running a thousand miles an hour but somehow, it doesn’t feel as pleasant as before. “So, next scene—”
“Wait, are you okay?” Haechan asks, bending slightly to catch a glimpse of your face. “Was it too much? Do you want to stop?”
Truth is, you’re conflicted. You’re going to catch feelings—you most likely already are. But Haechan only treats you as a friend and nothing more, and this is the only chance you have to be this close to him. The temptation of continuing the kiss, to just hold him close for one more time, stands stronger than anything else so you say, “No. I promised you I’d help.”
He’s still unsure, eyes glinting in concern. “It’s okay if you want to stop, I—”
“Let’s just do the damn scene, Donghyuck.”
Haechan freezes on his seat, eyes searching yours as you now have the bravery to look at his face. Knowing you came on too strong, you try to ease it off with a smile. “I’m fine, don’t worry. It’s just my first time doing this—acting, I mean. Can we try again?”
He spends another few seconds trying to decipher the true meaning behind your smile but eventually nods his head at your command. He drags his finger back to the script. “Then, umm… Let’s start from here?”
You don’t even look at the page when you give affirmation. “Go.”
Haechan takes a moment to prepare himself and when your eyes meet each other again, he’s a different person once more. “The reason why I didn’t want us to be together was because I didn’t want to ruin what we have, not knowing that we could be something more.” His voice is so soothing, you almost forget that deep down you’re immensely upset knowing that the kiss didn’t have the same effects on him.
This time, when he frames your face with his palm, you lean into his touch, eyes never leaving his. “This feels unreal,” you say and for a second—just for a split second—you notice Haechan breaking out of character, surprised by the gentle expression on your face. Because you’re not acting out his script, you’re acting out on your feelings. It’s your only chance to be honest with him without forcing him to respond. So you pour all these feelings you have for him out in the open—ones that started from a mere physical attraction to something more as his presence grew bigger in your life, you’re acting out each and every one of them. 
“Do…” He inhales sharply, trying to focus. “Do you still love me?” He’s doing the same thing as before, placing his thumb and index finger on your chin but before he can say his lines, you see how his eyes fall on your lips.
And you kiss him. You kiss him with everything you have, hands going to his face, fingers slipping between his strands, and Haechan gasps against your mouth, his fingers curling around your wrist. You know he’s about to push you away so you quickly murmur, “I do,” against his lips, breath stuttering, “I do love you.”
When you take his bottom lip between yours, teeth grazing against his supple skin, Haechan lets out an involuntary moan at the back of his throat. The butterflies in your stomach come alive, pumping a rush of adrenaline through your veins and suddenly, you’re brave enough to glide your tongue across his lip. His hold tightens around your wrist but instead of pushing you away, he tugs you closer and you fall into his chest, hands breaking free from his grip to wind around his neck. Your fingertips are scraping against his nape before they move upward to yank at the roots of his hair. “Fuck,” he breathes out, almost inaudibly, as if he didn’t mean to let the word slip from his mouth and it makes your heart jumps straight out of your chest. The second he responds properly, Haechan kisses like fire, all passion and urgency, and you really don’t mind being consumed by his flames.
His hands are on your waist, pulling you closer and closer until you’re almost sitting on his lap before he jolts awake, pushing you away so abruptly, you almost fall from the bed.
“I’m—We—” he stammers, looking everywhere but your eyes. His cheeks are flushed, his lips bruised and red from your kisses. “I think we should—I gotta go—“
He stands up from the bed like the sheets are catching on fire, picking his script from the floor and gathering all his belongings at once before he runs toward the door. He turns on his heels, wanting to say something to fix the goddamn situation, but when his eyes land on yours, his words vanish without a trace. 
“I—I’ll call you later,” he finally says and doesn’t wait for your response. The front door closes with a thud.
And then silence comes to answer.
What just happened? 
Your heart is thundering inside your chest, you’re starting to feel nauseous. What have I done? You keep asking over and over. You thought everything was going to be fine. He responded to your kiss earlier, didn’t he? You were sure you didn’t imagine the whole thing. But now he’s gone and you’re not sure whether he’s gonna come back as the same Haechan—the old, bratty but caring Lee Haechan. The one who snickers loudly when you fall face-first on the ground but always steals secret glances at you to make sure you're not hurt. The one who makes jokes about your love life but never forgets to show up at your apartment with a thoughtful gift right at the minute you turn a year older. 
Things are not just gonna get awkward, they’re ruined.
When nearly half an hour has passed by and you’re still left alone in your apartment with no signs of him coming back, you’re about to go insane. You can’t stay still, walking back and forth your living room with the tip of your thumb between your teeth.
Should I chase after him and explain that it was just me trying to improvise? You hesitate with your hand lingering on the doorknob. But with your knees nearly giving up under your weight, you decide to stay put. It will probably just gonna make it worse. He’ll see through my lies, he always does.
You’re straying away to the kitchen, hands placed on the counter. You can feel your head spinning, stomach somersaulting. Damn it, why did I have to do that?! Why couldn’t I just— 
The front door slams opened and Haechan barges in with his hair messy, ruffled by the wind, and his bangs sticking to his temple. Stunned, you stand still on your ground. Your heart is the only one that’s moving beyond control. His eyes scan your apartment until they land on yours and for an instant, everything seems to fade away.
“Fuck it,” he says, dropping his bag to the ground and making his way towards you in such a hurry, he nearly trips over his feet. “You’re not that good of an actor to be faking it.” Before you have the chance to even take a breath, Haechan’s lips are smashing against yours. 
“Hae—” Haechan’s kiss is insane. So forceful that you can barely keep up, taking every bit of air directly from your lungs. He has you backed against the kitchen counter, the marbled edge digging into your skin. His hands frame your face, sliding against your cheek until they cup the backsides of your neck, his thumbs resting against your ears. You curl your fingers around his wrist, gasping, “Wait—”
He pulls away, lifting your face so you can’t bring your gaze anywhere else. “You like me?” His eyes are just as intense, begging for answers. “Please tell me I’m not imagining this.”
But behind that passion, his confidence is wavering. You can tell by his quivering breath, the little tremble running through his fingertips, and at that, you’re drowning in relief. You don’t think he’s that good of an actor to be faking this too. 
“I do,” you admit, heart pounding so loudly that you can barely hear your own voice. “I like—”
His mouth is on yours again and it feels like he’s kissing you in a hundred different places at once. “Jesus Christ, why have you kept quiet about this for so long?” he says, tasting your breath and skin at the same time. “Two fucking years. We wasted two fucking years.”
The words this isn’t happening endlessly run through your head but all your senses scream that Haechan is really here, in your arms, his nails clawing against your shirt and there’s nothing left you want from this world.
When you reciprocate to him properly, your palms sliding up his chest, over his shoulder, until your arms circle his neck, Haechan sighs in content. His kisses grow slower—more relaxed—but deeper, his tongue peeking out shyly at first but not for long. He still tastes faintly like the coffee you made and something else entirely different. Something pleasant that’s just exactly how you’ve fantasized him to be, if not more.
He pulls away to catch his breath with his eyes still focusing on your lips, thumb rubbing your lower one. “Does this feel weird to you?” He whispers, his temple pressing against yours.
You’re intoxicated by his sweet scent though you’re not sure whether it’s the smell of his shampoo, his cologne, or just him altogether. “No,” and as soon as the word comes out, his lips are chasing after yours once more.
“Good, ‘cause I don’t think I can stop.” He’s breathing heavily against your mouth as you are against his. With his fingers twisted in your hair, making a messy ponytail out of it, Haechan peppers open-mouthed kisses on your neck, tongue pressing against your pulsating vein and a whimper escapes your mouth.
Your dreams, your fantasies—they all fall pale in comparison to reality. When you vocalize his name, it almost sounds like a plead and Haechan slants his mouth back on yours again, giving you another taste as he is not satisfied with yours just yet. “Your lips taste amazing,” he breathes out and it’s so quiet, it seems like he’s intending to say the words in his head and not with his mouth. But as his words fall on your ears, they send tingles down your spine.
“So do yours,” you reply, attempting to make him blush in return but if he does, he doesn’t show much. “Never pegged you as a man who wears lip balm.”
You can feel his smirk directly with your skin. “I’m not wearing any.”
“You’re not?” You lightly giggle, swiping your tongue across his lower lip. “Then your lips do taste amazing.”
Haechan’s hand is slipping underneath your shirt, fingers hovering above your bra. “Guess there are still a lot of things you don’t know about me, huh?”
“I’ve got a hunch you’re about to teach me?”
“Only if you’re eager to learn.”
The kiss becomes heavier that you’re lost for words, entirely consumed by his passion, until he breaks away, muttering, “Off, off, off, off, off,” as he struggles to tear the fabric away from your body. You titter at his desperation, raising both hands to help him out of his misery. The second it’s off, he lifts you by the waist and places you down on the counter. 
“I’m amazed you could lift me,” you coo, admiring the sight of his lean stomach as he pulls his shirt over his head. His silver necklace hangs loosely around his neck and you hook a finger around it to yank him back to you.
He doesn’t seem to be able to detach his lips from yours for too long, especially when you keep sneaking glances at his. So when he speaks again, his every word is painted directly to your skin. “It wasn’t easy.” He settles between your thighs, mouth latching against your collarbone. “You weigh a ton.”
“Yeah?” You bite your lip, holding back a moan as he sucks bruises on your neck, the edge of his fingers trailing over the seam of your bra. “Then you must be so strong.”
“I am, haven’t you noticed?” Haechan pulls away just to showcase a mischievous grin. “I work out, you know.”
You blurt out laughing. It’s not solely because of the mental image of Lee Haechan—a full-time gamer, Lee Haechan—doing push-ups seems so funny to you. It’s more about the way he wiggles his eyebrow, trying to be sexy about it when you know he’s the weakest one in your group. Flustered at your reaction, he flicks your nose. “What is so funny?”
“I’m sorry,” you apologize though it doesn’t seem that much sincere with the way you’re still giggling at him. “It’s just that an hour ago we were two friends making fun of each other and now we’re here, in this position. I don’t know, it just feels surreal to me.”
An adorable pout blooms on his face. “I thought you said this didn’t feel weird.”
“No, it’s perfect. I want this.” You wrap the end of his necklace twice around your index finger. “I want you. It’s just… I’ve been imagining this to happen for such a long time and now that it’s happening, I’m feeling a lot of things at once.” You place a reassuring kiss on his temple. “I’m nervous.” This time landing one on his cheek. “I’m relieved.” When your lips hover above his, you notice him parting his own slightly in anticipation. “And it feels so good, I don’t ever want to stop. Even if that means we can’t go back to being friends.”
Haechan can’t form a response as you don’t let him, your mouth swallowing the tiny moans he emits. “We’ll talk about that later,” he hastily replies, “I still haven’t had enough of you yet.”
Without warning, he lifts you off the counter, making you yelp and wrap your legs around his waist for support. “Haechannie!” With you holding onto him, he takes a step forward, ignoring your call. “Where are you taking me—"
“Wait, no, back pain, back pain.” Both of you nearly tumble down to the ground from how he’s harshly placing you back to your feet, wincing at the ache erupting from the strained muscles in his spine. He’s groaning in pain, massaging his back with both hands. “Fuck, you’re really heavy!”
“That’s no way to talk to a lady.” You throw your slipper at him, missing his head just a few inches, laughing all the way. “What exactly were you trying to do?”
“I was trying to move us to the couch.”
“All you had to do was ask.”
“I was trying to be sexy.” He juts out his lower lip, and it takes all control of your body to not squeeze his cheeks from how adorable he looks.
“Honey, you are sexy, believe me, but you’re also weak as fuck. Consider hitting the gym for real next time and then carry me.”
“Shut up,” he sighs, holding out a hand for you to take. “To the couch, please? And maybe a massage after this ‘cause my back is killing me.”
Shaking your head in amusement, you take his hand, intertwining your fingers with his and drag him over to the couch. He’s in the middle of asking, “Do you want me to be on top or—” when you push him down and straddle his lap without warning, legs tangling around his hips. “Oh, okay.”
You run a hand through his hair, pushing them back so you can witness the glow in his eyes. “You look sexier with your hair pushed back.” You love the way he stares at you, eyes half-lidded painted with lust and desire. And combined with your commentary, he now has his cheek tinted with red. “Do you have a problem with me being on top?”
His eyes quickly run down to the place where your denim shorts are riding up your thighs, your zipper pressing against his groin. With a noticeable gulp, he stutters out, “N-no.”
You smile, patting his cheek. “Good.”
The kiss starts slow as you focus more on moving your hands down his body. Haechan shivers a little when your palm is pressing against his bare chest, sliding down to his navel. When you pull back, raising a questioning brow at his reaction, he bashfully says, “Your hand’s cold,” looking like a nervous little boy who’s a stark contrast to how he usually behaves.
He’s so cute.
“Well, I know a way to warm you up.” You smirk, almost cringing when you hear your own words but Haechan seems to like it.
“Oooh,” he coos, grinning against your lips. “Are you offering what I think you’re offering?”
“I don’t know.” You kiss your way down from his jawline to his chest, pushing yourself off his lap so you can kneel on the floor, your fingers unbuckling his belt. “What do you think I’m offering?”
Haechan’s eyes are glowing with anticipation. He curves his fingers around the edge of his seat, wetting his lip nervously when you pull his zipper down. You release him from his boxer, stroking him to life and he sinks his nails further into the couch. A train of expletives breaks free from his mouth but he’s so quiet, you can only hear his ragged breathing.
But by the time you run your thumb over his slit, your hot breath hitting his sensitive skin, Haechan melts into a whimpering mess. “Please don’t tease,” he begs.
“I haven’t even started, Haechannie.” And he looks like he’s about to say something but it only turns into a mewl when you press a kiss to his tip. “You’re so cute,” you comment, and he shivers when the vibration of your voice meets his skin. 
Haechan tries to act composed. “Of course I’m cute, it’s—” 
You cut his line short by darting out your tongue, giving kitten licks at the side, smiling satisfyingly when his eyes meet yours. As you give him a little suck around his tip, he throws his head back, his lower lip between his teeth. “I—I said don’t tease.”
“I’m not teasing you.” But you are. How can you not? He looks so fucking cute. You’ve never really enjoyed giving head before, especially when your opponent gets rough and ends up pushing too deep until you gag. But with Haechan, you feel like you can do this for hours. He’s so nervous and shy, doesn’t even dare to place his hand on your hair, and his reaction to every bit of your action is honest even when his words aren’t. 
“Here.” You take one of his hands, moving it to your head. “You can use me as much as you want.”
“Use—” he crumbles at your choice of words. When you suddenly envelop him with your mouth, moving from the tip to the base in one quick motion, Haechan instinctively grabs a handful of your hair, flinching. “Goddamn, why are you so fucking hot?”
You giggle, sliding his cock out of your mouth with an obscene pop. “Thanks.”
“No, I mean your mouth. It’s so fucking warm.”
“So, you’re saying,” you dip your tongue into his slit, eyes seductively peering into his. “I’m not hot?”
“You’re—Fuck, fuck—” Haechan seethes, hips buckling when you bob your head down again, tongue pressing against his veins. Shivers run through his fingertips when he slips them between your locks, pushing your fringe back to have a good look at your face. You catch a glimpse of him, his lips unconsciously moving to form words that you can’t hear. So pretty, he seems to say, and the thought of it makes your stomach lurch in delight. Taking him completely in your mouth, you hollow your cheeks, swallowing around him. He tightens his hold around your hair, cheeks flushed and you expect him to hold you in place so he can thrust against your mouth but what he does is pull you away. “Stop, stop, stop, stop.”
Wiping a string of saliva away with the back of your hand, you ask with a frown. “Something’s wrong?”
Haechan hides his reddening face behind his fingers, quietly answering, “I was about to come.”
You hold back a grin. With a nonchalant hum, you dip your head down again, this time engulfing him until he hits the back of your throat.
“Jesus Christ.” His sanity is deteriorating, he can feel it.
“Don’t bring Lord’s name when I have your dick in my mouth, Haechannie. Mark would kill you if he knew.”
“Fuck Mark. Come here.” He rushes forward, forcibly pulling you up with both hands clamping your arms. When you follow his order, settling back down on top of his lap, he confesses with his lips grazing against the shell of your ear. “I really won’t last long if you keep doing that.”
Despite your previous teasing and confidence, you squirm inside his arms, feeling warmth spreading from your chest to your cheek. “So I have these effects on you?”
He’s almost growling when he retorts, “You don’t even know.” Haechan pushes your bra strap until it falls off your shoulder, teeth marking your supple skin until you hiss in both pain and pleasure. He presses a softer kiss to soothe away the bruise. “Sorry, I… You’re gonna need to cover it up tomorrow.”
“It’s fine.” You stroke his cheek, tracing the tiny mole on his jawline. “Seems like you have a biting kink.”
He sheepishly chuckles, “I don’t know. But if you let me, I’d love to do that again.” 
Something about him saying it in the most sincere way possible, almost too formal even, makes you crave more for him and everything he does. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want with me, Lee Donghyuck.”
Haechan swallows hard, barely has the bravery to look at you in the face after hearing your words and his real name tumbling out of your mouth. His fingers are now on the hem of your shorts, trembling a little bit. “Umm—may I?”
Helping him further, you stand on your knees, unclasping your bra first to his surprise and pulling your denim shorts and panties down to your thighs. Haechan watches with his eyes wide open, mouth parted in awe as he commits every bit of your curve and movement into memory. It feels so thrilling to be this wanted, to be ravished by his eyes, until you begin to struggle to push your clothing away from your legs.
“Need some help?” He asks, lips pursing as he tries to hide a grin. 
You exhale loudly, detaching yourself from him. “Let me just—” You jump off his lap, standing back with your feet on the ground, and kicking the clothing away with annoyance—why in the world did you have to wear shorts this tight—and slap him in the chest when he’s chuckling at the sight. 
“Maybe you should stop trying to be sexy too,” Haechan snickers.
“Shut up.” You crawl back into his lap. “Go back to staring dumbly at me like before. I’m naked.”
“I wasn’t staring like tha—oh,” he inhales sharply as you grind your heat against his cock, amazed at how warm you are despite your cold palms. The sensation of skin meeting skin feels much more different. There’s really no going back this time. Somehow, it feels dangerous, as if you’re doing something forbidden and it makes your skin crawl with excitement.
And by the look on his face, seems like he feels the same way.
“Lost for words?” You taunt him with a smirk, hands on his chest. “That’s new.” His glare is menacing but it falters away the second you rub your arousal against his. 
His head falls to his shoulder, eyes tightly shut. “God, baby…”
There it is again. The funny feeling in your stomach. “Baby?” You simper though your heart is palpitating like crazy. “We’re moving on to giving each other pet names now?”
If he can blush any harder than this, he probably might but with the way you’re grinding shamelessly on his cock, letting him get a glimpse of how wet and warm you are, he’s all maxed-out. 
His earlobe lays between your teeth when you whisper, “Shall we put it in?”
Haechan’s nails are sinking into the skin of your hips, both to hold you in place so you’ll stop torturing him and to press you down harder on his crotch. “I…” He’s so distracted, he can’t even think. The way the side of his length is pressing against your folds is pushing every little bit of self-control he has to the back of his head.
“Haechannie?” You giggle, moving your hips. “I kinda asked you a question here.”
“Yes, fuck, yes, please.” Haechan tries his very best to not sound that desperate for your touch but he is that desperate. “Wait—aren’t we—shouldn’t I wear a condom first?”
You blink, halting your movement. “You brought a condom with you?”
He nods as he leans forward, fingers searching frantically at the pocket of his jeans that hang low on his knees. “Here.”
“Why do you have a condom with you?”
“‘Cause I bought it downstairs just now.”
Your jaw grows slack at the realization. “Is that the reason why your hair was so messy and you were sweating when you barged in here? ‘Cause you ran downstairs, trying to find a condom?”
“I’m sorry, are you really complaining about this now?”
At the feeling of his member twitching underneath you, you sigh. “You’re right. Let’s discuss that later.”
It feels a bit awkward when you stand on your knees, giving him some space and wait until he finishes wrapping the rubber around himself. The silence that hangs between you is almost deafening that by the time he’s done and you fall back to his lap, sitting on his thighs, it feels like you have to start over again.
You diffidently smile. “Hey.”
Haechan is equally as embarrassed, mirroring your gesture. “Hi.”
“I guess we’re gonna have sex.”
“Guess so.”
Another few seconds pass by where you can only meet each other’s eyes, feeling your heartbeat racing louder and louder. It feels like you’re about to burst, honestly, but fortunately for you, Haechan leans in, his fingers tentatively caressing your cheek. “Can I kiss you?” He questions.
You melt under his gaze, his gentle touch, his honey-like voice. “Yes, please.”
Your lips start the connection and the rest of your body follows, fitting every curve of his perfectly like you were made for him. The way Haechan sighs against your mouth sends sparks of electricity all the way down to your toes and you don’t waste any more time. With his mouth latching on your breast, tongue flicking against your nipple, you lower yourself on him.
Haechan’s hold your waist tighter, eyebrows adjoined in the middle at the sensation, his moans muffled. He presses his spine back against the couch, admiring the sight of his member disappearing inch by inch into you. His eyes begin to droop when he’s completely sheathed inside, his bruised lips parted. He cups your cheek, kissing you softly on the corner of your mouth, making you shiver at the sudden tenderness. “I guess we are having sex,” he murmurs with a bashful smile.
You can’t help but laugh a little. “I guess so.” 
It starts slow, with you placing both hands on his chest and him swallowing his breath at the sight of you moving up and down his length. You hiss slightly at the friction, adjusting to his size. 
“Does it hurt?” He asks, tucking a few loose strands behind your ear. 
“A little.” You reassure him with a grin. “Relax, you’re not gonna break me.”
You expect him to send back a snarky remark but what he does is press his forehead against yours. “You’re so warm,” he whispers, tasting the skin that connects your shoulder to your neck. Something about his words, his sensual kiss and his tender touch makes you squeeze your walls around him and he clutches harder around you. He glides his hands lower to your hips, silently urging you to pick up the pace and you follow.
Breathing heavily, Haechan has his thumb grazing your lower lip. “You have such a pretty mouth,” he professes as if he was in a trance.
You seductively bite his thumb, still working your hips. “You’re saying that ‘cause I just sucked your dick.”
“Yes, that too, but really.” It’s as if he’s staring at a work of art, eyes twinkling with admiration. Sometimes, when you’re hitting the right spot and quiver around him, a small moan escapes his lips and you feel him twitching inside you. “It’s—ah—It probably doesn’t sound sincere when I’m saying this now, but I’ve always thought you had a pretty mouth. And lips. I’ve thought about your lips a lot.”
“Yeah?” You mouth against the sensitive skin below his ear, sinking harder on his length. “What else do you like about me?”
“Y-your voice—” You can actually feel him shivering. “You have such a—fuck—I just—I really love your moans.” 
You’re not sure whether he’s saying that because he’s so distracted with the way you’re breathing in his ear or he genuinely loves it. Either way, it’s a pleasure to know how much you’re affecting him with your actions. With a chuckle, you say, “You’re rambling, baby.”
“And your hair,” he adds, probably losing every bit of his self-control by this point. “I love your hair. Looks so soft.” Haechan cards his fingers through your strands. “Feels so soft.”
You hum in response, hoping that your flushed face doesn’t look as apparent as you think. “Anything else?”
“Your—” He shudders when you paint a mark under his collarbone. “Your ass.”
You stop, pulling away to give him a look and he whines at the loss. “My ass?”
“What—” The tips of his ears are turning red, steam practically coming out of them. “Why are you staring at me like that—you have a great ass!”
Teasing him is such a joy to you. “Then, let’s do it this way.” You part away from him, landing back on the carpeted floor so you can turn around, giving him the chance to ogle at your behind, before you ease yourself down onto his lap once more. 
“Fuck—” Haechan’s hisses, his hands going down to your hips again. The new position doesn’t allow you to meet his eyes but with the way he’s whimpering behind you, fingers trailing over the curve of your ass, the sensation increases.
“You okay back there?” You taunt smugly, chuckling a bit because Haechan sounds like he’s losing it. His nails are sinking into your skin and you just know that’s gonna leave a nasty bruise tomorrow. “You seem like you’re enjoying this way too—“ You’re interrupted by your own moans when he suddenly has one hand massaging your breast and another one sliding down your stomach to find your clit. “W-wait, Haechannie—”
“You’re such a tease,” he breathily whispers into your ear, his chest pressing against your spine as he leans forward, pulling you into his embrace. “Isn’t that supposed to be my job?”
His fingers are rubbing you in circles, making your thighs tremble. “You’re right.” You move your hips harder, going out of rhythm with how fast you’re going and Haechan sinks his teeth to your shoulder again.
At the sound of his name departing your lips in the most sinful moan he’s ever heard, Haechan curses. “Shit, you’re not gonna let me enjoy this longer, are you?”
“There’s always a second round, Haechannie.” You smirk, raising your hips all the way up in intention to slam it back down again but Haechan catches you and pushes you forward until you land on the coffee table, stomach pressing flat against the wooden surface. “What—"
“There’s always a second round, right?” His lips are brushing against your ear as he positions himself behind you. “Then I’m going all out.”
When he slams his hips in one swift motion, hard and deep, he knocks all the air out of your lungs. “Wait—” You choke out, can barely keep up with his pace. “Oh God—”
“Now, now,” he coos, his hand finding its way to your throat, fingers pressing against your veins. He raises your face, his chest completing the dip of your spine. “Don’t bring God’s name when I’m fucking you like this, baby.”
You can’t even find the strength to retort, eyes shutting tightly until you see stars behind your eyelids. It almost feels unreal how fast he can go from being awkward and tentative about all of this to raw and wild within a few minutes but Haechan has always been fast adapting to new situations and you have been teasing him way too much. It’s about time that he snaps. 
Haechan moves you down to the floor, forcing you to stand on all fours and you’re so glad you follow his lead. “Spread your knees. Bring your head down,” he instructs and you do as you’re told, extending your arms in front of you. Haechan has his hand on the dip of your shoulder blades, holding you still until you have no choice but to press your cheek against the carpeted floor, ass in the air. “Good girl,” he praises, kneeling behind you and rubbing his tip along your folds. “Ready, baby?”
He doesn’t wait for your answer.
With only a few minutes in, you know you’re getting close, you can feel it. He has switched from giving deep, hard thrusts to quick, shallow ones and it’s driving you insane. “H-Haechannie, I—” you whimper, “I’m close—”
And he knows it too, of course he does. He can tell by the way you’re clenching around him. But instead of going harder and driving you completely over the edge, Haechan suddenly laces his fingers with yours, his lips painting soft kisses from your nape down to your spine, his hips hitting another angle that feels just as amazing even when he slows down the pace. The intimacy surprises you as you don’t expect him to be this tender. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel like you’re doing this out of sheer passion. With his palm covering the back of your hand, fingers slipping between yours, somehow, everything feels more sentimental, stronger, crossing the lines.
With a moan of your name, Haechan flips you to your back, fingers framing your face, lips meeting lips as he thrusts back in, gasping against your mouth. “I want to see your face,” he says when he pulls away, his half-lidded eyes boring into yours, thumb slipping between your lips. “Not sure if I’ve told you this before but…” He snaps his hips, and you tangle your legs around them in response, fingernails digging into his upper arms. “You’re so beautiful.”
The knot in your stomach untangles without warning and your orgasm hits you so hard, you nearly sob at the sensation. With the way you’re quivering and squeezing around him, Haechan follows right after, his face sinking into the crook of your neck, hips stuttering as he rides out his own orgasm.
***
With his jeans back on and his used condom thrown away to the nearest trash bin, Haechan joins you back on the carpeted floor as you still haven’t found the strength to get up and get dressed after that. He shamelessly lays his body down on top of yours, his cheek pressing against the valley of your breasts. “I’m spent,” he mumbles, feeling drowsy.
“Haechannie?”
“Hmm?”
“You’re heavy.”
“I know.” But he doesn’t get up, only moving his head slightly to press a tiny kiss to your bare chest before he lies his head down over your heart again. You give up with a smile, wrapping your arms around him, fingertips stroking his hair. Haechan sighs contentedly under your touch. “Man, that was…”
“That was?”
“Amazing.” He props himself up on his elbows so he can meet your eyes. “You’re amazing.”
Your heart jolts at the sincerity in his words but you cooly smile back. “I know.”
“And I’m amazing too, I’m sure?”
“Meh,” you shrug. “Could be a little better but I’ll let you practice on me for free.”
“Jesus Christ.” He shakes his head, his strands tickling your nose. “I don’t even have the strength to join your banter. You know, I’ve always wondered since you’re pretty much shit at everything, there must be something you’re good at. But I never thought that something would turn out to be sex. I can’t even believe I’m saying this but you’re really, really amazing at it. I feel like I should give you a medal or something.”
“Thanks,” you flatly mutter. “Not sure if you’re praising me, though.”
“Oh, I am praising you, believe me. And you know me, I rarely praise.” 
“Stop it,” you use your robotic voice. “You’re making me feel so special, I’m about to cry.”
Haechan playfully nips at your nose, forcing you to break off your act and laugh directly into his mouth. “Seriously,” he says, breaking off the kiss. “If I were to pay you for sex, I would give you everything I own. Even the clothes I’m wearing. Hell, I’d even sell my grandma but don’t tell her that.”
Your laughter has reduced into small giggles. “That’s comforting.”
“So…” The way Haechan is caressing your hair is so soft, almost like a mother to her sleeping child. “What should we do about this?” When you raise an eyebrow, he tensely adds, “Do you, umm… I mean, do you want to, like—”
“You’re rambling.”
“I know, God, I’m so nervous! I may look like a naughty, sexy bad boy—”
“No one is saying that—“
“But I actually suck at this—as in, I don’t really know how to date a girl.”
“You don’t even know how to talk to a girl, based on the conversations we’ve had,” you comment and you know it’s not helping but it’s worth seeing his adorable pout. “Then don’t date me. If it’s hard for you to date, then let’s just keep being friends—"
“But I want to continue this!” He says it so fast and firmly that you don’t even have time to feel hurt about your offer. 
It’s not like you crave a relationship with him—you haven’t thought about it that far—even just holding him like this is enough for now, so the fact that he’s so excited to have this going makes your heart swells with joy. “Well then, we’ll be friends who have casual sex anytime we want,” you suggest.
He blinks twice, a bit amazed at your offer, but to your surprise, he seems rather… disappointed? “What happens if we start catching feelings?” He quietly asks.
“Then I guess we’ll start dating for real.”
“Then…” He runs a hand through his hair, nervous. “What happens if I already have feelings for you?”
He states it so quietly, it’s a miracle you can even hear him. “Do you want to date me, Haechannie?”
He looks away, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “Do you want to date me?” He murmurs against your skin, unsure and flustered.
You heave the heaviest sigh you’ve ever done in your life. “You’re unbelievable. I’ll decide for us then. Starting now, we’re dating.”
He lifts his head, and if he were a puppy, he would’ve had his tail wagging behind him, even when his face doesn’t show much. “That easy?”
“That easy. What, you have something to complain about?”
“No.” He grins, pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. “Hey, girlfriend.”
“Ugh, get off me, you’re gross.”
But no matter how hard you push your palm against his face, Haechan only giggles and turns you around so this time, you’re lying on his chest. “So,” he pushes a few strands of your hair behind your ear. “You like me, huh?”
“No, what makes you think that way?”
“Says the girl who just slept with me.”
“I slept with you ‘cause I was just curious about your dick. Jeno said you had a dick that was the size of his thumb.”
“Excuse me?!”
“Didn’t you see his InstaStory last night?” You reach up to gather your phone from the coffee table. “I took a screenshot of it actually. Man, you should’ve seen the comments. They’re hilarious.”
Snatching your phone away, Haechan runs his eyes along the words written on the screen. “That son of a bitch!”
Simpering, you sneak a peek under his boxer. “Well, he’s not wrong.” 
“Oh, it’s on,” he deadpans, throwing your phone away and pushes you back down on the floor. His eyes glinting mischievously. 
“What are you doing?” You’re still half-laughing when he brings your hands over your head, holding your wrists together with one hand as he settles between your thighs, his fingers hovering dangerously close.
“I’m gonna make you take your words back.” He wets his lip, one corner of his mouth turning upward. “Time for the second round, baby.” 
***
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witch-hazels-musings · 6 months ago
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Congrats on hitting 9k bb!!! 🎉🍡❤
For your event, may I request for lye, mushroom spore and fragments of innocence for Thoma? I love angst to comfort/fluff, it's my favourite heheh.
Take care and stay safe!!
- Courage anon
mmm, a dark potion i see ... let me get on my safety gloves and open a window
Tumblr media
Need a potion? 
You’d been avoiding him all day. It was stupid, you knew it was, but you couldn’t shake the feeling there was something going on behind your back - that even through the confessions and reassurances he provided there was a lie in there somewhere. A farce, a jest in the entire relationship and no matter how many times you tried to push those anxieties to the back of your mind they always found their way to the top. 
There was no doubt in your mind that he was worried about you. You’d heard whispers of him searching you out. Even one of the shop owners caught you as you walked by and commented, ‘Thoma’s looking for you,’ but you couldn’t face him, not now, not when everything in your mind was telling you he cared so little for you. 
You should have run, should have left the city entirely but your heart kept you here and because of it’s weakness, he found you. 
“There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He huffed, resting his hand on his hip as he looked into your dark eyes. The restlessness you felt had rubbed off on the shadow of your expression and, even though you were happy to see him, you still let out a defeated sigh. 
“Why.” 
“What do you mean why?” 
“Why were you looking for me ... just ... just leave me alone.” Turning, you tried to walk down the steps but didn’t make it very far. Thoma hoped down the short flight and blocked you with a hand curled around the railing. 
“Stop.” 
“Thoma, please, go away.” 
“I’m not gonna do that, talk to me.” 
“No, there’s nothing for me to say. I already know everything that I need to know ... and ... I just need to leave.” 
“Hold on, you’re not making any sense.” He rested his hand on your arm and followed your avoiding gaze with his eyes. You moved to look away and he found you, tilted your head down and he lifted it up. There was no escape no matter how much you wanted one. “Y/N talk to-”
“Archons, just leave me alone okay.” You exploded, your voice calling to attention everything around you but the emotions in you chest couldn’t bring it to stop. “I know okay, I know that you only like me out of pity.” 
“What?” 
“I’m not attractive like ... like I don’t know, anyone else, for sure not enough for you. I’m not good at anything, I mess up all the time. People see us together and they laugh because ... because they know it’s a cruel joke ... just leave me alone and stop bre-beaking my heart ...” Hiding in your hand, you tried to push the tears back in your eyes by pinching your nose and turning away from him. It sucked, everything sucked and all you wanted was to jump into the river and float away. 
“Have you always felt this way?” 
“... Yes. I’m not ... good enough for you so just ... leave and get it over with.” The warmth of his hand slipped from your shoulder, the sensation of his eyes abandoned you and the reality shattering heartbreak sunk the knife further into your chest. 
Suddenly, you felt something yank you forward, your stomach colliding into a sturdy back, legs being lifted and a shout exploding from your throat as you steadied yourself from a fall. 
“Let’s get out of here.” Thoma exclaimed, adjusting you on his back as he walked down the steps and into the grassy fields that surrounded the small island. 
“Wh-what are you doing!?” 
“I think a change in scenery will do you good.”
“Thoma ...” 
“Do you know why I love this place so much?” You leaned forward to hear his words and shook your head so he cold see out of his peripherals. “It’s because in every corner there is something new to discover. A mystery or a problem waiting to be resolved. Even on that day I washed up on the beach, I was already so in love with this place.”
“Why ...”
“There’s that question again,” He chuckled, lifting you and pressing a kiss to the arms wrapped around his chest. “It’s because, it’s beautiful here. Of course, this land wouldn’t know because all it sees is bits and pieces but,” He set you down and as he did so, his hands moved to turn you to look back on the landscape stretching as far as the eyes could see. “when you look at the whole thing, you can see it’s beauty as clear as day.” 
“Thoma ... that’s nice but I don’t -” 
“You see yourself in bits and pieces. You see these hands and think ‘worthless,’ you see this body and think ‘not good enough,’ you see this face and think ‘not attractive enough,’ but you’re only seeing them in parts. Do you know what I see when I look at them?” 
“What ...” You asked, biting your trembling lip and tilting your head to listen. 
“I see you for who you are meant to be, and what I see is beautiful ... as clear as day you are beautiful.” His hands cupped your cheeks, smile drilled into your darkness and purged it, and the words he shared through honest lips melted everything else away. 
“You’re kind of amazing, has anyone ever told you that?” 
“I’m just doing what I can.” Standing on your toes, you kissed him.
If only the two of you could see the scene. The way the land stretches out before you, the waves as they lap against the beach and how the two of you, as perfect as you could be, stood as an accent to it all in utter perfection. 
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ryuiki · 7 months ago
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-   ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ [ the magnitude of his love for you is directly proportional to the frequency of his swear words ] ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
*⁀➷ SUMMARY: in which atsumu loves you so much he can’t go two thoughts without thinking fuck *⁀➷ PAIRING: miya atsumu x gn!reader *⁀➷ WORDS: 1369 words *⁀➷ WARNINGS: cw reader has a cold and atsumu swears a lot *⁀➷ AUTHOR’S NOTE: reposted from my old blog for bb’s birthday! :)
Atsumu thinks love is making him stupid.
That, or the cold. It’s so fucking cold. His breath comes in a billowing mist as he slow-jogs to the front door. He’s glad he has good circulation; his hands only feel 70% like ice. Winter was supposed to creep back into whatever hole it came out from, but frustratingly, it decided to stay and terrorise innocent people like him who’ve never done anything wrong their entire life.
(He can hear your disbelieving snort, see your upturned eyebrows and crinkled eyes. God, love really is making his brain turn to mush. Osamu would argue that he’s never had a brain in the first place, but his opinions don’t matter. He can tell them to his rice balls.)
He mumbles I’m home even though you’re probably not awake yet. You hoard your resting hours like a grumpy sleep-deprived dragon. He places his running shoes neatly next to your sandals, slips his feet into the fuzzy home slippers and treads lightly to the bedroom.
“Hey.” He shakes your shoulder gently. Harsh white light reflecting off the snow filters in through the partially closed curtains, tainting your hair a lighter shade. Your eyes flutter open and his heart cries with joy. He pokes your cheek with a finger, feather light. “Wake up. ‘M back from my run; it’s about eight thirty now.”
You close your eyes and heave a sigh, as if waking up is the most tedious chore in the world. It is to you. You nod groggily anyway, and Atsumu lifts his lips in a smile.
“I’ll go make breakfast now.” His tone is still soft, careful not to break the peaceful silence of the cold morning. “ ‘S my day off, remember?”
Your eyes fly open again, the irises shining. He’s overcome with a tide of fondness, and he gently kisses the top of your head.
“Morning, sunshine,” he winks, and you don’t counter with a sarcastic remark like you usually would. You beam at him, and Lord have mercy, he’s going to die of a heart attack, you can’t do this. He hastily retreats to the kitchen before he can do something embarrassing, like start kissing you all over your face.
There are two plates with two pancakes on each of them when he rounds back to the bedroom to check on you. You’re still sitting on the bed, staring out the window with a face as blank as the drifts of snow outside.
He peeks in, fingers on the doorframe. “Bad day?”
You turn at his voice, face falling, and he takes that as confirmation. He crosses the room in three quick strides and sinks his weight next to you, wrapping you in a tight hug.
“ ‘S okay,” he whispers in your ear, hand on the back of your head. “It usually goes away after two or three movies, right?” You nod, your chin digging into his shoulder. He can feel your hands clutching at the front of his shirt. He repositions his hand and pats your back rhythmically. “There, there. Wash up and eat some pancakes, ‘kay?”
You pull away and offer him a weak smile. His heart clenches and aches at the sight.
See, the reason both of you are still together after so many of your friends doomed your relationship a disaster is because you understand. Both of you are people who expect a lot from others, and infinitely more from yourselves. Bad days are more common in you than in him, but both of you are prone to burnouts or days where you wake up feeling like nothing is going to go right. It’s a routine, a little secret between the two of you. You take care of him and rein him in so he doesn’t lash out and say things he doesn’t mean on the days he wants to tear his hair out. He takes care of you and makes sure you’re not alone when you cry.
A deafening sneeze blasts through the bathroom door, then three more. Next comes an almost incoherent whine of ’s cold, ending with another sneeze.
Ah, you have a cold.
As if you can hear his thoughts, he hears a stubborn I don’t have a cold, and he laughs, loud and merry.
Through breakfast, it gets harder to pretend you’re all right when your chews are interrupted by random bouts of sneezing. He watches you as you blow your nose, your lashes sticking together with tears. He offers to wash the dishes, droning on about his kindness. You glare at him, and it’s all so familiar that he can’t help but break out into a grin.
You let him choose the movie and the both of you settle into the couch, the blankets, and the routine of you pressing the pause button furiously to go off on a tangent about a scene or a character.
“- and that villain, I swear to God, if the protagonist doesn’t kill him, I will,” you seethe, though he thinks the acid is neutralised by your stuffy voice. You rub at your nose angrily as mucus drips out again. “Manipulative ass bitch, when I get my hands on him, I’ll - ow.”
You stop rubbing at your nose and wince. Atsumu leans closer and sees the reddened patch of skin on the philtrum.
“Oh, shit, baby, no -” He closes his hand tightly around your wrist. “You’re tearing the skin.”
You snatch your hand away, tears welling up. He doesn’t know if it’s from an incoming sneeze or the pain or your pent-up frustration. He knows how you must feel right now, how mad you must be because why, why the fuck does the snot keep dribbling, why do I have a cold, why why why -
You look the very definition of unflattering with your brows pinched, your mouth downturned, snot dribbling down to your upper lip.
Is it weird that he still wants to kiss you?
He plucks a tissue and dabs gently at the mucus, slowing down around the wound. You let him after tensing up for a few seconds, tangling your fingers with his free hand.
“There,” he says softly. “Don’t rub it again.”
“Why?” you tilt your chin defiantly. Your eyes tear up before you can get another word out, a strong sneeze shaking your body. He waits until you’ve composed yourself before speaking.
“ ‘Cause it’ll make me sad,” he pouts, rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand. “It makes me sad when you get hurt.”
You pause to think, then nod. “Okay.”
Everyone he knows who knows you says that you’re smart, critical, cold, whatever. Only he knows the you behind closed doors, the you who gets irritated because snot won’t stop dribbling out of your nose, the you who has bad days like he does, the you who’d stop doing anything just because it’ll make him sad.  
He really, really, really wants to kiss you. He tells you so.
You grin, a soft, small thing that he wants to keep safe in his pocket. You point to your cheek.
“Only here though. I don’t want to get snot on your lips. It’s disgusting.”
He presses a featherlight kiss on your right cheek, then your left, then your forehead, your nose, the corners of your mouth. By the end of it all you’re giggling, and he pulls you close to his side and reaches for the remote. His reflexes honed from years of receiving come in handy when he senses you moving out of the corner of his eye. He always manages to catch you before you rub your nose, replacing your hand with a soft tissue.
By the end of the movie, you’ve cycled through a box of tissues and two handkerchiefs, one blue with pink bunnies, the other pink with blue elephants. Fuck, he wants to squish your cheeks so much, why are you so cute -
He settles with shamelessly burying his nose into the slope of your neck to your shoulder, tightening his arms around you.
“Love you,” he whispers into your skin, quiet enough that you won’t hear him.
You thread your fingers through his hair, smoothing out the tangles in them.
“Love you too.”
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sukirichi · 9 months ago
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Hi! I hope you're doing okay. So I just had a thot. And idk what to do with it. So Imma just put it here cause your blog is my new favourite. I'm not even joking. I literally devoured everything related to Tokyo Rev on your blog. So here's my theory. Do correct me if you think I'm wrong Sensei!
Bouten husbands and where they liked to be kissed the most/ or is their weakness. (Ps: it's just my opinion. I mean no offense to anyone.)
Mikey~ Kiss him on his shoulders and he'll cry. Cause he's been bearing all the burden of his dark and decaying world for so long that he doesn't even know that he needs to take a minute for himself and rely on others around him. Especially since most ppl around him are willing to give their life and limbs for Mikey. He just can't seem to keep that in mind. So you've taken it upon yourself to remind him frm time to time. Just a little peck on his strong and broad-ish shoulders to remind him that he's not alone. That if nothing, he has you. He always will.
Rindou~ Something about being kissed on his cheeks, especially by his lover, does things to him. Like his cardiovascular muscles do a little somersault in his chest or something. Because yes, it doesn't matter if he's one of the big, scary and irreplaceable executive of Bouten, he still has an unconscious inferiority complex. Sometimes it just skips his mind that despite everything, he too deserves the world. And every once in a while you need to remind him about it. That he doesn't have to be flashy and snarky like his brother. He just needs to be himself and that he is undeniably worthy of love.
Ran~ Not many people are taller than him, you are no exception. So it makes sense that in order to kiss him you need to be on your tippy toes. And still you're only able to reach his neck. So yeah, just kiss him there. Right on his Adam's apple and he's a goner. It doesn't even have to be sexual. Ran is always the one to take charge. It's kind of in his nature and you happily oblige him. But every now and then, you also need to remind him to take a breather That he can just let go and get dotted over for a change. You're more than happy to take care of him, that he needs to be taken care off.
Koko~ This man not only, brings in the big dough for Bouten, but also beats up people while at it. To say that he's always overworked is an understatement. His hands are always doing something, illegal things most of the time. He knows he's no saint. That there's no coming back into the light. He's painfully aware. But once e intertwine your hands together and kiss him on top of his knuckles, he swears that it's his redemption. You're the only light in his dark and dangerous world.
Kaku-chan~ Please. Just kiss this man on his forehead. Please. He's literally out there, ready to give his life for the things he wants to protect. He's always doing that. Protecting the people that have gone astray, who have no more hope left. He's ready to die for them, if it means they'll keep going. So please, just once, just protect him instead. Protect him from the demons he skillfully hided in his head. Protect him from the nightmares that torment him every night. Just protect him for a change. He needs it more than he's willing to admit.
Sanzu~ Okay. Hear me out. He's deranged and he knows it. He knows he's won't bat an eye before painfully torturing someone to death. Heck he'll even do it with a smile plastered on his face. He knows that he's stained in blood almost all the time.(sometimes his own, most of the other times, not his own). He'll even relish it. He knows that he's been tainted with burden of death. He knows that he lives in the shadows. He's not sane. He's not good. He's bad. He's ugly. You can tell that these awful thoughts keep him awake at night. So when they do and he has this almost painful look on his face. Just pull him close and kiss him on his face, over and over. Kiss his scars, kiss his lips, kiss his nose, his eyes. Just don't stop until he's got your point across. That yes, it's true that he's despicable. But you still love him nonetheless.
Ps: Sorry that was too long and kinds got out of hand. But these are just my "thots". Thank you for hearing me out!~ Thot anon
hi i’m doing okay, thanks for asking n i hope you are too !! also aaah i’m glad to know my blog is your new fave, i hope you enjoy more of my future tokrev content 🥺 ALSO YES ITS HEADCANON TIME LETS GO LETS GO
mikey n shoulder kisses 🥺 i hc that mikey is stiff and rigid all the time without knowing. like you said, he has a lot on his mind and draken even said mikey had a heavy ass cross to bear, so imagine the weight and burdens he has to shoulder 🥺 so if you lean into him for a hug then kiss his shoulders, mikey deflates. to him, its like a reminder he doesn’t have to carry it all by himself all the time and poor bb forgets that often
cheek kisses for rindou 🥺 the idea of this big, bad executive infamous for breaking limbs but is actually a sucker for cheek kisses and turns into a soft lil bean when you cup his face and just smother him with love n affection? bless. rindou probably unknowingly exerts too much effort sometimes to prove something - may it be his strength, his power, or how he’s perfectly capable of fighting by himself - he’ll have that voice at the back of his head that he needs to do something. giving him cheek kisses grounds him and elicits butterflies in his stomach bcos he realizes that, “oh, i don’t have to try so hard. silly me...now more cheek kisses, please.”
ran and neck kisses !! ON THE FLOOR RN, TELL ME MORE. but yes omg i also hc that ran is such a giver and grown up to look for others the way he does for rindou, so in his head, he’s kind of drilled it into himself that he has to be the one in the lead - not necessarily in a mikey way - but in a “he needs to take charge and take his responsibilities seriously” kind of thing. like mikey, ran is probably often deep in thought as well despite his teasing mannerisms, that when you kiss his neck he can’t help but soften. he enjoys being doted on. loves to be the one on the receiving side. has the sweetest smile on his face when he gets a lil ticklish and he just feels like he’s on cloud nine <33
knuckle kisses for koko 😫 everything you said was on point !! his hands are probably so tired from fighting and counting bills all day, not to mention the amount of paperwork he has to do bcos who else will do them ?? no one knows the inner system of koko and how it works as well as koko does, and he wants to do his job right. he gets a little too absorbed in his work, however, that koko gets a little confused when you take his hands away from whatever he’s working on to leave little kisses at the pads of his knuckles, maybe even massaging his hands or playing with his fingers to help him relax a bit. and you know how koko is so good at what he does bcos its all he knows, but at the same he probably hates how he treads on this dark path ?? so when you kiss his knuckles, he feels relieved. like everything will be okay and second chances are real n something he’s worthy of
omg now this is my favorite - kakucho + foreahead kisses. forehead kisses are always so intimate and soothing in a sense. like come here so you can kiss him on the forehead, watch the way his eyes flutter close and a smile tugs at his lips when your lips trail down to his scar, all the while your hands are cupping his face with such tenderness he never really knew of. kakucho is so used to being the tough guy with his rough childhood that it almost feels surreal. surreal that he’s in bed, with you, safe and sound and you’re kissing his forehead so comfortingly he doesn’t have to worry about putting his walls down for a second. he feels safe. he feels at home. but most of all, he knows he’s not alone and he has you - his family
kissing sanzu’s scars 🥺 everything you said was beautiful n i can totally see it happening !! as much as we all know sanzu takes great pleasure and finds entertainment in what he does, it sinks down a little too late. when he’s not high, that’s when he feels the lows. when the blood on his hands are dried, that’s when he realizes it gets harder to wash them off until it stains deep all the way into his soul. then his scars. he sees his scars and remembers how he has to hide them at some point. he stays awake at night and oddly enough, silent and unmoving. and what better way to ease his worries than to pull him close and just to kiss his scars that he thinks are only one of the ways the darkness - the ugliness - of his soul shows through. keep him close and kiss his scars. sanzu may not always be in the right mind to understand your words, but the simple gesture of showing love and acceptance to a part of him that makes him a whole will engrave deep into his heart. leave him butterfly kisses. kiss him from everywhere to his eyes until they flutter close to sleep. kiss his nose adoringly until they scrunch so cutely. kiss his lips until its your taste that overwhelms him. and kiss his scars to remind him his imperfections are accepted and loved
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rice-hime · a year ago
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Hi bb, can I request some headcanons or a small drabble of Hirugami Sachiro, dragging me to sleep... - sleep deprived but also needs to meet deadlines 🐶
A/N: Do I...do I still address you as 🐶anon even though we fully know each other jdsakfhadsfjdas. You ask for Hirugami Sachiro, I answer with four men. 
Bruh, I slept at 5 AM cuz I can’t sleep. W h y. You guys better be getting enough sleep and rest. ; w ; 
Rest With Me (HCs)
Hirugami Sachiro
Hirugami  would come home really late (med school plus work is stressful, okay?) and sees the lights still on. Frowning, he quietly walks in your shared apartment to see you still up and working. You don’t even notice him, too busy and too stressed with your own work. He’d would just leave you for the moment, changing his clothes and washing up. All that without you realizing he’s already home. That’s how immersed you are in your work, or perhaps you’re too busy fighting off your own exhaustion and drowsiness.
When he’s done with cleaning up, fresh from the shower and new clothes, he simply walks up behind your chair. Leaning down, he rests his chin on your shoulder as his arms snakes around your form to trap you from moving. Like a mouse caught in a trap, you squeak in surprise and try to turn but his hold prevents you from doing so.
One look at his expression, and you’re internally cowering, mind jolting awake to think up excuses – it’s important, there’s a deadline, it’s just for tonight (liar), etc. Before you can even say anything, he already hauled you up in a princess carry. You’d be fumbling over your words, but one stern look from him immediately silences you. Yeah, no excuse would work on this man. He knows, okay? Knows too well the dangers of working too hard and the ache of perfectionism. Also, he definitely has your schedule memorized.
It’s not like he wants to micromanage you, but seeing enough of your bad habits and self-sabotaging practices has him putting his foot down. He’s generally a chill guy, but he knows how to be strict in disciplining himself and you. (I know this sounds kinky, and…yes, this aspect of his personality extends to that part of your relationship.)
You’d feel guilty somehow, feeling like you’ve disappointed him. But Hirugami doesn’t even let you dwell on those emotions, gently brushing the hair from your face, leaving light kisses on your temple and cheeks. He doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t need to. Just his warm embrace already makes you feel safe and secure, his steady heartbeat slowly lulling you into sleep.
Hirugami doesn’t fall asleep immediately, silently observing you – your relaxed expression, the rise and fall of your breathing, how you lean into his hold, your softness and warmth… He doesn’t say anything, leaving a soft kiss on the top of your head. Promising to himself that he’d take care of you, as he also finally drifts off to sleep.
Miya Osamu
Osamu yawns widely, as he shuts the door, flinching a bit at how the slam seemed so loud in the dead of the night. He hopes the sound hadn’t woken you up, but one glance in the apartment and a scowl quickly makes its way on his face. The lights filtering through the cracks of the bedroom is a dead giveaway that you’re still up. Probably working, he thinks sourly. And yup, he’s right – you’re still working, hand rubbing wearily over your face, your plugged earphones making you not notice his arrival.
A sudden prickling on the nape of your neck has you turning around, yelping in alarm at the large form standing by the door. Osamu’s frown doesn’t even shift (though he notes your flush of guilt and alarm with satisfaction), even when you weakly greet him a welcome home. He rolls his eyes, yanking off his shirt and throwing it to the hamper. With another smooth move, he hauls you over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes, dropping you (with care) on the bed.
You try to scramble up, but one stern look has you obediently staying on the bed. He huffs, leaving to briefly wash up. You sigh, shoulders slumping in exhaustion, thinking it’d be rather better to rest than continue working. A look at the clock has you twitching guiltily, not realizing you had been working that long already. You do your routine and change your shirt, settling on the bed to hug a pillow as you wait for Osamu.
He comes back to see you already half-asleep on the bed. He quickly settles besides you, yanking the pillow from your grip. You lowly whine, but it turns into a snort when you notice his tired pout. Spreading your arms, you eagerly wait for him to pull you close against him. Both of you humming in contentment at the warm contact. He absentmindedly rubs soothing circles on your back and waist, drowsy eyes watching you slowly fall asleep. Your hand lays on his chest and he reaches for it, grazing his lips on your fingers and knuckles.
With the last of your remaining strength, you shift to kiss Osamu on the lips, before finally succumbing to slumber. With a sigh, Osamu finds himself drifting too. His arm around you tightening for a moment, an attempt to convey what he wanted to say, before he relaxes again finally falling asleep.
Sakusa Kiyoomi
Sakusa squints his eyes suspiciously, wondering why there’s something wrong with the stillness of the apartment. It makes sense that it would be quiet. It’s very late. You’re probably already asleep. But his instincts tell him that something is amiss, and viola, he’s right – there you are in the dark room, hunched form lit by the laptop’s screen as you work away again. You haven’t noticed his presence yet – well, how could you? He can tell even without seeing that you’re leaning intently to your screen, typing furiously as your tired eyes squint at the screen.
A sudden hand on your shoulder has a scream bubbling at your throat. Whirling wildly around, you see Sakusa standing there – scowling, eyebrows furrowed, looking displeased. Well, that’s not good. You attempt a greeting but only a syllable out and he’s already shushing you. Throwing a clean shirt at your face, he walks away to wash up; and you take that as a cue to follow too. You sigh, just realizing now how late it is, no wonder Sakusa looked pissed. (Well, annoyed to everyone else; but you can easily pick up the worry in his eyes and face.)
Sakusa huffs in satisfaction seeing your laptop closed and work put away. He scowls remembering the arguments during the earlier stages of your relationship. He doesn’t want to interfere with your work and your passion for your work; but he knew he had to step in when he saw the harm it’s doing to you.
He’s lying on the bed, waiting for you to finish your routine and join him. When you crawl to your place beside him, he immediately pulls you against him, holding you in a loose embrace. He doesn’t meet your eyes, his own already closing. You can clearly see the exhaustion on his face, and you wonder how rough his day was.
Sensing your disconcertment, Sakusa cracks his eyes open, telling you to simply shut up and sleep. Rough words and yet his kisses on your forehead and the corner of your lips were remarkably gentle. His expression has already softened, pulling you even closer to rest your form on top of his. Yielding to your own fatigue, you close your eyes, breathing evening out as you slowly drift off to sleep.
The last thought that registers is Sakusa’s hand entwining with yours, a firm squeeze of affirmation telling you everything that he couldn’t say – his gratefulness for your comforting presence and his reassurance of his love and dedication for you.  
Kuroo Tetsurou
Kuroo wearily enters the apartment, nearly tripping over his own feet in exhaustion. All he wanted right now is to fall into a warm bed made even warmer by you. But he nearly hisses, eyes squinting at the bright lights of the apartment. He scowls, checking the bedroom to see you awake – slumped over your machine, fingers dancing across the keyboard, eyes glued to the screen.
With a sigh, Kuroo approaches you, suddenly pulling at your chair. The sudden motion had you shouting in alarm. Wheeled around to face him, you throw him a glare which immediately softens when you see him throw back an equally (or perhaps even more) exhausted glare. You sigh, nodding silently, acquiescing that perhaps it is time to rest. Kuroo only nods back, before yanking his tie off as he goes for a change of clothes.
Putting away your documents and laptop, you wearily sigh, following Kuroo to do your nightly routine. You patiently help him with his shirt’s buttons and his hair that seems to rebel against all manner of styling and hair gel. When he’s done washing up, his arms wrap around your waist, chin on your head as you finish the last bits of your skincare routine. He slumps against you, inhaling your scent, almost falling asleep on his feet. (His job is too tiring sometimes.) For him, coming home everyday to your warm embrace is his reward for all the challenges (and borderline bullshit) he puts up with work. There’s nothing that could relax him more than your soft, warm presence in his hold.
Clumsily waddling, you lead both of yourselves on the bed, gracelessly falling on it. You both sigh, shifting for a more comfortable position. You lie on top of him, burying yourself in his chest as his arms wrap around you once more. With a deep sigh, Kuroo finds himself slowly relaxing, stress and tension leaving his body. His hand brushes your hair as you nuzzle against him and leave light kisses on his neck and chest, finding a comfortable position until your breathing slowly evens out.
Kuroo squeezes you lightly, too tired to breath out a whisper of his love, but wanting to express it nonetheless. A faint smile ghosts his lips at your tired responding hum as he finally drifts off to rest.
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sips-tea-cutely · 2 months ago
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"𝐘𝐔𝐌 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐇 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓" | TPN (Pt. 1)
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"What you say to me? I can't hear a thing. Try to talk some sense to myself, but I won't listen, I'm what God made of me. No need to pretend, It's okay to disagree, we don't have to be friends"
In which the TPN cast see you eat demons. How they respond and their reactions.
(Author's note; LMAO GUESS WHO GOT INSPIRED AGAIN!! This time by the character Genya Shinazugawa from demon slayer. I know Barbara eats demon meat, but you eat it uncooked (??) but we can excuse that with the fact that your stomache can handle demon meat really well and somewhat get some of the demon's features. Like their claws, and teeth and eyes. You don't get their height though sadly. MANGA SPOILERS BTW)
Writing Style; Headcannons
Characters; Ray, Emma, Norman.
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God Damn it! You can still move you body! You can still aim a bullet at the eye!- Nevermind your hopes were crushed once the demon ate the gun away.
Well, aum. You're in pretty deep trouble right now. Like really deep stuff going to happen to you.
But....You don't wanna be useless..!
And as if time stopped, you found a bare arm of the demon just poking right out.
You don't have a gun.
You don't have a gun.
Quick, what can you do.?! What can you do?! You desperately searched your pockets or clothes to find any weapon to use.
None.
You used them all awhile ago.
So what did you do? ——— You bit the demon, of course. You felt a sudden rush of pain.
Looking towards your palms, the very hands your siblings loved to hold, started to turn into the sharp claws that where used to pick up latter children.
What the heck? What's wrong with me..?! You could see -- Everything. You can see where the other demons are.
This was intriguing. Who wouldn't use their advantage? Slicing the demon with your (also) said demon claws, it swiftly fell to the floor.
God, you felt so powerful and terrified of what you've become.
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Ray (81194)
i think he's like, shocked wtf
understandable lmao.
he knew the demons since he was, idk a baby?
and seeing you turn into one was like
as if the entire population just wanted him to burn the world
he's immediately concerned, but kinda more brash (?) on it than the others.
"WHAT THE HELL? WHY'S Y/N LIKE- A GOD DAMN DEMON NOW?"
No one knows, no one was watching you.
Guilt immediately washes over him, like the ocean gushed and was slowly drowning him.
It's his fault, he could have kept you safe.
Once you continued slicing the demon, you poked it's eye (LMAO?)
and they had succesfully killed the demon.
i feel like he be the most worried, but he stays back for his safety.
safety was always his number one priority anyways.
And Emma was then rushing to you.
"-Y/N?! Are you okay?"
You turned to her, mouth salivating as if you were looking for a prey to eat.
it looked like you were about to consume her in one gulp.
But your cold eyes slowly turned to the (e/c) he grew to love. The claws turned back to hands he loved fondling. Your teeth grew back to your normal grin that he loved seeing.
"Woah- Haha, that was weird...Did we defeat that guy?"
And the fact you moved on as if you din't turn into a demon and almost ate emma a few moments ago.
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Emma (63194)
POOR GIRL DOESNT GET IT UNTIL SOMEONE EXPLAINS
like in her head she doesnt even question the fact you have sharp teeth or like your- your claws
and the fact your saliviating at her human flesh idk
"wow! (y/n) must be really hungry!"
bestie.....................how did you get perfect scores again
"-Y/N?! Are you okay?"
hi what okay your back heyy #imbacktovegannow
when she asked norman and ray they were so
were so
dumfounded that she dint realize
"(y/n) ate demon meat"
OH THEY DID WHAT OKAY AUM NVM
bye she wasnt prepared for this
"EHHH?? WHAT??? WHY???"
"THATS THE THING IDIOT! WE DONT KNOW WHY! THEY EVEN GOT DEMON FANGS..."
"oh so thats why they had fangs!"
they dint believe she was that dumb she was even right in fornt of you when you ate the demon meat
she made sure to check up on you, and was so concerned bb she loves you :(
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Norman (22194)
he wasnt focusing on you more of battle. he knew you could handle yourself
and then you screamed.
he snapped his head towards you, and he saw a part of the flesh seemingly bitten.
your mouth was foaming, and your claws were growing.
ah.
you bit a part of the demon
THE FACT HE INSTANTLY GOT IT LMAOO
he immediately went to help, like he shot the demon and was like
"bb u okay?"
nvm u were sailaviting he took a step back
he eerily watched you decapitate his head
and like the job was over
wow so fast WOW
"(Y/N), are you okay??"
you stooped saivastyang YOU STOP SALIVA-ING and you looked towards him
"im hungry"
ok bb dw he'll cook for you
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pitviperofdoom · 9 months ago
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Me: I’ve got some time and motivation on my hands! Maybe I should work on one of my immediate projects, like putting the finishing touches on my RQBB piece, or making some headway on my TMA BB piece, or editing the next chapter of the DND AU...
Me: *writes a 5k opener for an au that’s basically The Owl House*
------
“Again.”
Jon held still and kept his eyes shut. Everything ached, his head most of all; the slightest movement sent lightning bolts of pain through his skull. Even now it throbbed like a quiet threat behind his closed eyes.
“Get up, Jon.”
He couldn’t. He was done. Wasn’t that obvious?
“I don’t have time to indulge you. I know you can do more. Now get up.”
He couldn’t.
“Open your eyes, Jonathan.”
That was a simpler request, at least. He could do that much, couldn’t he? He could open his eyes. It barely counted as moving.
Dutifully, Jon forced his eyelids apart. Punishment was swift; this time the pain was so intense that he couldn’t even scream, only curl up tighter on the floor with a strangled whimper. The polished tiles were cold against his face, but they did little to soothe the ache. Warm liquid trickled from his closed eyes; when had he started crying?
Across the room, Jonah sighed. “Already? We’ve barely scratched the surface, Jon. I expected another hour from you, at minimum.” Footsteps echoed against the floor, and Jon tensed in spite of the pain, but the hands that picked him up were gentle. “Come now. Our work is too important for me to indulge you like this. For Titan’s sake, your endurance was better when you were a mere child.”
Jon kept his eyes shut, and hated the part of himself that wanted to curl up again, apologize, and promise to do better. The ache was beginning to recede, just barely, but he kept his eyes shut. If he opened them too soon, then Jonah would take it as a sign that he wasn’t as tired as he behaved.
“Can you make your own way back?” Jonah asked, steadying him by the shoulders. “Or do you need help?”
Jon’s blood ran cold. That was a dangerous question. If he chose to go under his own power, then Jonah might change his mind about letting him stop. But he didn’t want help. His limbs felt like wet clay, and there wasn’t a single muscle in his body that didn’t hurt, but at least they were still his.
“I—” HIs voice cracked in his dry throat. “I can—I can make my own way. Th-thank you, Jonah.” He held his breath.
After far too long for comfort, Jonah sighed again, heavy with disappointment. “Alright, Jon. Get some rest. We’ll do better in the morning.”
“Yes, Jonah,” Jon replied, faint with relief, and waited.
He was met with silence.
“Have you changed your mind?” Jonah said, after a moment. “If you’d like to continue…”
“No,” Jon replied. “No, I’m—thank you. For letting me stop. Just…” He held his hands out in a blind plea. “It’s my eyes, so I need…”
“Ah, of course, how could it have slipped my mind?” He heard a faint rustle from Jonah’s robe, before warm, smooth wood was pressed into his waiting hands. Jon swallowed another sob of relief. “There you are, then.”
“Thank you,” Jon repeated, and turned toward where he hoped the exit was.
The shape in his hands shifted. Smooth wood became downy softness, before the feeling left his hands and landed gently against his face. Soft wings brushed his cheeks, tiny legs grasped the bridge of his nose, and the world returned to him.
He hadn’t opened his eyes, but he could see the room once more: the library’s main room, a vast space where he and Jonah did most of their work. He could see Jonah as well, watching him with the weary patience of a parent indulging a child’s tantrum.
Jon looked away, muttered his thanks again, and limped out of the room.
Even with a closed door between them, the weight of Jonah’s scrutiny never left. Not helping the matter was the wallpaper that, currently, was openly tracking his progress through the countless eyes hidden in the intricate pattern.
That was the downside to navigating with these eyes; when he used his own, he couldn’t see the Beholding that soaked every nook and cranny of the manor. At least then he could pretend that closed doors and distance meant something.
It was a long way from the research wing to his quarters—their quarters—and Jon had to pause several times for a moment’s rest. By the time he reached the last flight of stairs, he was shaking from exhaustion, and strongly considering the benefits of simply curling up in a corner of the hallway and falling asleep on the floor. Jonah certainly kept the carpets plush enough.
His borrowed vision went hazy for a moment, and soft wings beat gently against his face. Jon braced himself against the wall as another powerful headache washed over him, closed eyes be damned. His face was wet with tears again.
“Alright,” he murmured. “Alright. Just a bit farther.”
The mask of wings left his face in a sudden flurry of beating, leaving him blind again. Jon bit back a cry of alarm and stayed where he was, leaning against the wall. He wouldn’t leave—surely he wouldn’t. He’d be back. Maybe he was just…
Before he could work himself into a proper panic, he heard the door at the top of the stairs creak open. Familiar footsteps came tumbling down the steps.
“Fuck, Jon,” a familiar, wonderfully welcome voice breathed out, and Gerry caught him before he could fall.
Jon made the rest of the journey leaning heavily against him, blind and trusting. He could feel gentle puffs of air against his face, fluttering wings that didn’t quite touch, and smiled gratefully.
Eventually Gerry deposited him in a chair and went to retrieve something—from the potions stand, going by the clatter of glass vials. Less than a minute later, one of them was pressed into his hand.
“Here. Need help drinking?”
Jon shook his head. “I can manage. Thanks.” He downed the potion and was rewarded by a receding headache. His eyelids were so sticky that he had to massage them open, and his vision came back in blurry patches, one piece of the room at a time: A single table and chair by the kitchenette. Two beds shoved together in the far corner. The sparsest alchemy array on the Isles. Gerry's face, watching him with open concern.
"Do you know how much you lost?" Gerry asked.
"What?"
Gerry gestured to his face, and Jon mirrored the motion until he found rough, sticky stains streaked down his face. He was confused until some of it crumbled off at his touch, and he looked down to find flecks of congealed blood clinging to his fingertips. "That's probably not good."
"Yeah, Jon," Gerry sighed, short and forceful with held back anger. "Probably isn't." He moved off to the kitchenette, and returned moments later with a damp towel.
Jon cleaned his face, sighing in relief at the coolness against the lingering ache. He put the now-soiled towel aside, eyes finally clear, and caught the briefest glimpse of amber eye spots on coppery wings before their owner alighted gently on the side of his head.
"Yes, of course," he said, reaching up to stroke one of the moth's large downy wings. His familiar nuzzled his finger in return. "Thank you, Atlas."
"He alright?" Gerry asked grimly, already checking the moth for any sign of damage.
"Jonah had him for the entire session," Jon replied. "No overt threats today, he just… didn't let him go until we were finished. So. Could be worse."
"Could be a lot better," Gerry muttered.
It will be, he carefully didn't say. Soon, it will be.
It wasn't safe to talk like that. Not here. Not yet.
After Gerry coaxed food into him, Jon crawled beneath the covers and curled up as small as he could manage. Patched and mended blankets didn’t offer any more protection than the walls of this place, but huddling in the dark made it easier to pretend that Jonah couldn’t see him here. It was the only way he could make himself sleep, these days.
When he awoke to Gerry’s gentle shaking, Jon found that he hadn’t moved so much as a finger in his sleep.
Without a word, he slipped out from under the blanket. The light in their quarters was dimming as twilight approached. Gerry barely glanced up from the book he was reading at the table as Jon shuffled to the kitchenette and the kettle.
Casting the spell was a simple matter of well-practiced sleight of hand, disguised beneath mundane activities. One spell circle traced idly by Gerry’s finger against the page as he turned it, the other drawn in the air as Jon waved away the steam. They never did it the same way twice, nor with any regularity by day or week or month. If it became a pattern, then Jonah might catch it.
The spell slipped into place smoothly, with none of the clumsy ripples of their earliest attempts, and Jon let out a shaky sigh. They had to assume that Jonah was always watching—but now, if he was, all he would see was Gerry reading at the table, and Jon drinking tea at the kitchenette. It was a routine they had set long ago. It was exactly what Jonah would expect to see.
Titan willing, it would be enough. They couldn’t afford to slip up now.
“It’s almost ready,” Gerry assured him. “Everything’s in place. All we have to do is wait for the moon’s alignment to power it.”
Jon ran his hand absently over his arm, scratching at the pockmark scars that dotted his skin. Some of the ingredients had cost them dearly to procure. They likely wouldn’t get another chance on any of them.
When he looked at Gerry again, his friend was watching him with something indescribably soft in his face. “It’ll work, Jon.”
“And if we’re caught?” Jon blurted. “We can’t hide this ritual behind false visions. He’ll sense it no matter what his eyes tell him.”
“Once it’s cast, it won’t matter,” Gerry said with grim satisfaction. “We’ll have our out. And where it leads, Jonah won’t have any of the power he does here.”
Jon took a deep, shaky breath, and nodded. His hands curled and uncurled at his sides, nails digging deep into his palms.
Gerry’s eyes never left him. “What’s on your mind?”
Swallowing against the thickness in his throat, Jon struggled to find an answer. “Is it—is it wrong that I’m afraid?”
“Jon, no—”
“I didn’t want to be here,” Jon went on. “I never wanted—ever since I came here, I’ve wanted to leave. And now we finally have a chance. Why am I afraid?” Gerry opened his mouth like he was about to reply, but Jon couldn’t have stopped himself if he tried. “It’s not like I’m safe here. Today wasn’t even that bad, compared to… it wasn't that bad.” A bitter, ragged laugh tore itself from his throat. "He pushed me until I bled from my eyes, and he was happy to keep pushing, and all I can think is it wasn't that bad. Why am I afraid to leave?" His voice trailed off. Atlas’s wings fluttered against his head, mirroring his agitation.
Instead of answering, Gerry held out his arms. Jon walked into them without hesitation.
“You were a kid.” With his head on Gerry’s shoulder, his hand to his heart, and Gerry’s arms holding him close, Jon felt surrounded by his friend’s voice.
“I was nearly eighteen,” Jon protested. “Hardly a child.”
“I’m just saying, you’ve been here too long not to be scared of what’s out there,” Gerry reminded him. “And it’s not like we’re escaping out the front door. We don’t really know what we’ll find on the other side.”
Jon’s hand curled into a fist against Gerry’s chest, and his other arm tightened around him. If they did this right, then their exit strategy would dump them into an entirely new world, of which Jon had only ever read old books or heard second and third-hand stories. A fresh wave of apprehension seized him.
Not for the first time, he let himself be desperately, pathetically grateful that he wasn’t doing this alone.
“Can you keep it together?” Gerry asked, still quietly gentle. “I just—I know you’re scared. I’m scared too. But I can’t do this alone. This is a two-person job at least, and—”
“Of course.” Reluctantly, Jon pulled back to look him in the eye. “I’m not going to give up at the last moment. You can rely on me.”
Gerry smiled. That was a rare thing, these days. All the more reason not to lose his nerve. Once they got out, Jon was going to spend the rest of their lives giving Gerry every reason to keep doing it.
“I know,” Gerry replied. “Now come on. Let’s finish prepping before we run out of twilight.”
***
“You know,” Gerry whispered late at night, as Jon settled himself into the curve of his body. “By the time I left home, I’d passed up five chances to escape.”
Jon listened in silence. He was never quite sure what to say when Gerry talked about how he grew up. Nothing felt like the right thing to say. Luckily, Gerry never seemed to expect him to say anything at all.
“Those are just the ones I was looking out for, at the time,” Gerry went on. “Couldn’t tell you how many I just didn’t see.”
“You were a kid,” Jon murmured back.
Gerry scoffed into Jon’s hair, and Jon smiled. “Don’t you turn my words back on me. How dare you.” A moment later, “But… you’re not wrong. I was a kid. She was all I knew. I didn’t know who I was without her.”
Safely out of Gerry’s line of vision, Jon allowed himself a thoughtful frown. It was different for him, wasn’t it? Gerry had been born his mother’s son, but Jon had been someone before he was Jonah’s… whatever he was. Student, research assistant, test subject, prisoner.
Before, he’d been the son of parents he barely remembered. He’d been the grandson of a woman who did her best until he drove her to give up on him, and a coven leader came to her with a kind smile and a promise to take away her burden. And now…
And now he wasn’t any of that. Because there wasn’t anything for him to go back to. The only way out was forward, into the unknown.
“I figured it out in the end,” Gerry told him. “You will too. I know you will.”
“I might need help with that,” Jon admitted. “I could use your expertise.”
A soft huff of laughter jostled him. “I’m gonna be in the same boat as you, you know? I’ve never been to the human world.”
“You still know more about it than me,” Jon pointed out.
Gerry was quiet for a moment. “He didn’t tell you anything?” he asked eventually. “It didn’t take much to get him talking, when I was running around with him.”
“Only a few things. His family, his brother, some of his favorite foods. It was all we had time for before we parted ways.”
“Ah, that’s a shame,” Gerry sighed. “The human world sounds amazing—if even half the things he told me about were even real.”
Jon laughed softly. “I know what you mean. Can you imagine someone actually swimming in the ocean? It would strip the flesh clean off your bones.”
“Not if the water’s cold and non-corrosive. Which it apparently is. People swim in the ocean all the time. It’s a thing. They take their kids and everything.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Jon stifled a yawn.
“It was weird, you know?” Gerry went on. “The things he’d talk about like they were nothing. Sometimes he’d say just the wildest thing, and he’d look at me like I was crazy when I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about.”
“Like what?”
“Hmm… trying to think of one I haven’t told you before…” Gerry hesitated. “Did I tell you about how mornings in the human realm just… make water?”
“You mentioned something about the rainwater being cold,” Jon replied.
“No no, this is different. Titan, how did he explain it…” Gerry hummed thoughtfully. “Something about how, when it’s cold enough, everything’s covered in little droplets of water in the morning. The air just… does that. Makes water out of nothing.”
“I’m sure there’s more to it than that.”
“Can’t remember,” Gerry admitted. “He showed me a picture, though. Water droplets on a spiderweb. Looked like tiny little diamonds. Dunno what kind of face I was making, but he laughed at me.”
“Rude,” Jon murmured.
“Still not sure I believe it.”
“Maybe we’ll see it for ourselves. One day.” One day very, very soon.
Gerry’s only reply was to run gentle fingers through Jon’s hair, again and again, until Jon finally fell asleep.
***
The moon sat at its apex, round and bright and wreathed in blue fire that seemed to dim the stars around it. It was the first thing Jon saw when Gerry gently shook him awake.
He stirred, wincing when his movements jarred his injuries. Most of the day had been devoted to Jonah’s experiments, and Jon had fresh wounds to prove it. The burns on his face would heal without scarring, but his right hand was still wrapped in liniment-soaked bandages. Jon avoided putting any weight on it as he rose to a sitting position and pushed back the blanket. The sight of the moon, burning brightly in celestial alignment, chased away any lingering weariness.
They cast their usual cloaking spell with less caution than usual. It was only a stopgap measure at best, a few minutes’ safety to get everything in place. The table, chair, and alchemy set were pushed aside to clear the floor. With steadier hands—Jonah had been focused on Jon today, leaving Gerry a day of respite—Gerry borrowed Jon’s staff to draw the circle. Atlas alighted on his place at the top of the staff, colors fading as he shifted back into wood, and the symbols glowed brighter. Jon fetched each component from their hiding places around the room, and began laying them out amid the lines that Gerry was tracing.
They worked quickly, not speaking, barely breathing. For all their planning, there had been no time to practice. They would get only one chance, and no more.
And so, there was no time or opportunity to brace themselves before Gerry drew the last line, and Jon poured the last drop of Titan blood, and the circle caught the moonfire blazing through the open window.
The spell ignited, and the sheer force of clashing power nearly knocked them both off their feet. Their flimsy cloaking spell shattered, exposing them to Jonah’s sight, but it was far too late to turn back.
Jon had barely regained his footing when his own magic, coursing through the spell circle alongside Gerry’s, was caught in the moonlight’s amplifying effect. For a single, glorious moment, for the first time in years, Jon felt magic—wild magic, covenless magic—coursing through him. He smelled fire and earth and sea air, felt wind against his face, sensed the distant light of stars above them, tasted blood in the back of his throat as drumbeats pounded in his ears. Every sensation rushed him at once, melding together into a storm of color and music. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever felt.
And then the coven brand on his arm blazed, burning away the storm until only the Beholding remained.
It seized him mercilessly, knowledge clamoring its way into his head all at once. It was a confusing mess, so many sights and sounds and thoughts that he couldn’t have picked out a single one among them. But in the end he adjusted, the stream became more focused, and his mind was his own once more.
At the center of the circle, a seam formed in the fabric of the world. It split neatly down the length of it, opening wide into a ragged doorway.
Jon’s heart leapt. They had been planning this for years, researching in secret, sneaking and lying and stealing to get the components together, and yet—only now did he realize that he had never expected it to actually work. The fact that it had, that freedom lay only a few steps from where he stood, was as exhilarating as it was terrifying.
Jonah was on his way, he realized absently. It wasn’t just the inevitability of it; even without his focus on the river of knowledge flowing through him, he couldn’t help but catch a few drops. One of them showed their captor flying up the stairs toward their quarters, wild-eyed and intent.
“Gerry,” he said. “We have to—”
Another scrap of knowledge slipped into his mind, like a dagger between his ribs.
“Jon?” Gerry’s voice sounded far away. Everything was suddenly muffled, even the portal. Even the Beholding, swollen with moonlight, felt far away. The whole world was contained in a single, inescapable truth.
“We can’t.” The words slipped from Jon’s mouth. His hand closed on Gerry’s arm. “Gerry, we can’t.”
“Jon, let go, the portal’s right—”
“It won’t work.” Jon squeezed his arm. “It won’t—there’s not enough power. It’s not stable enough for both of us. As soon as one of us goes through, the spell will fall apart and the portal will close. It won’t work.”
Gerry stared back at him, face suffused with dismay.
Dismay, but not surprise.
Jon’s heart sank like a stone in mud. “You knew.”
“Jon, there’s no time for this, now let go—” He was pulling away, prying Jon’s fingers from his arm, and the portal was within his reach, and Jonah was so close to their door.
“You knew,” he repeated. “How long have you known? How long have you been lying?”
“I had no choice!” Gerry shouted over the crackling, ringing din of the spell. “There was no other way! What was I supposed to do, sit here while both of us wasted away? What other chance was either of us going to get?”
The worst part was, Jon couldn’t bring himself to be surprised, or even all that angry, really. Of course this was going to happen. It was simply the culmination of his entire life, thus far. His parents, his old friends, his grandmother—and now Gerry.
Maybe it was just his lot to be left behind.
Across the room, the door rattled. Jonah called to them from the other side. Jon barely heard either.
“I…” His throat grew thick. “I understand.”
“Jon, I’m sorry,” Gerry said desperately. “I wish there was another way.”
“No, I—” He really shouldn’t be crying. This was a happy thing, after all. Gerry was going to be free. “At least—even if it’s just one of us—”
Gerry smiled through his own tears. “I’m really gonna miss you,” he said.
“It’s not fair,” Jon blurted out. “We were supposed to go together. We were supposed to see it together!”
“When has any of this ever been fair?”
Tears gathered in his eyes until Jon blinked them away. His last sight of Gerry should be a clear one. “Please don’t forget me.”
The door rattled again, and Gerry choked back a sob. “Fuck. I could never. You’re not the sort of person anyone just forgets.”
Before Jon could reply, Gerry lunged forward. Not toward the portal, not toward freedom, but to Jon. The kiss was fast and clumsy with desperation, but the hands against the sides of his face were ruthlessly gentle.
“I love you,” Gerry whispered. “Don’t look back.”
Jon blinked back his tears, confusion cutting through the grief. “What?”
Gerry curled Jon’s hands around the staff and threw him into the portal.
He fell through the riot of color and music, too shocked to scream as the image of Gerry shattered into pieces above him. The light winked out, and Jon fell into the emptiness alone.
***
Jon landed hard, though not nearly hard enough for how long he must have been falling.
He lay in darkness and silence, wheezing softly as he regained his breath, gripping his staff until his fingers went numb and his injured hand screamed in protest. The air was cold and smelled stale. The light show from the portal was gone, but he could still feel its power humming beneath his skin, threatening to burst free.
After a while, Jon gathered himself enough to roll over. The floor felt like stone beneath his hands, relatively smooth but unpolished. With a grunt of effort, Jon planted his staff on the ground and pulled himself to his feet. It was too dark to see well when he opened his eyes, so he felt along the length of the staff until he found the shape of wooden moth wings at the end.
“Atlas?” His voice rasped in his chest. The wood turned to soft chitin, and Atlas took off from the head of the staff to flutter in frantic circles around his head, buffeting him gently when he flew too close. “Yes, yes—it’s alright. We’re alright.”
Atlas landed on his shoulder, and Jon’s eyes adjusted.
Was this the human world? For all he knew, the portal might have simply dropped him elsewhere in the demon realm. He was in a room, possibly a basement, judging by the clutter. Boxes sat in stacks and piles, some of them too full to close properly. Indistinct objects sat against the walls—an old mirror, frames wrapped in thick brown paper, a tall wooden clock that didn’t seem to be working. A thick layer of dust blanketed everything, untouched by fingerprints or footsteps.
He was alone.
Of course he was alone, he’d seen the portal break apart as soon as he fell into it, with Gerry still on the other side. Jonah had been seconds from breaking the door down, and now—
A harsh sob took him by surprise, and tears blinded him all over again.
Jonah had never set a clear punishment for escaping. And now, whatever it was, Gerry was facing it alone.
They weren’t supposed to be alone, they were never supposed to be alone. It shouldn’t have been him going through the portal, it should have been Gerry, why couldn’t have been Gerry, why couldn’t Gerry have been selfish for once in his life—
A distant scream rang out, shocking him out of his tears. Jon stared around, wide-eyed and searching, but the room was still. Then the ceiling shook with a crash, drawing his eyes upward.
“It’s above us,” he murmured. “Stairs—we need to find stairs.” Atlas took off from his shoulder, eye spots glowing in the gloom.
With an extra set of eyes, Jon found the stairs within a minute. He ran up them, his brand warming as he loosened the leash on his swollen magic. The door at the top of the steps was locked, but he Knew within seconds where to find a key. Atlas vanished from his side and returned moments later, clutching it in all six of his legs.
The door opened to an unlit hallway. Jon hesitated, took one last look back at the dark and cluttered basement, and hurried on.
He could hear more, now that he was really listening for it. Running footsteps, multiple sets by the sound of it. Shouting, always muffled and bitten-off, as if whoever was doing it was trying very hard not to. There were people in trouble—this was the human world, wasn’t it? Was it as hostile as the demon realm after all?
The hallway ended and took him up another flight of stairs. He expected to see light at some point, either artificial or from the windows. The last time he saw the moon, it had nearly blinded him. But instead, the darkness of the stairwell only seemed to grow thicker as he ascended, and reaching the door at the top did nothing to abate it.
At the very least, what he could see of the room he stepped out into looked more like the ground floor. There were proper floorboards, high ceilings, and windows that only showed faint outlines of trees against a dark, starless sky. The house was unlit, and his eyes refused to adjust. Jon drew a quick spell circle on his forehead with one fingertip, and magic poured into his eyes to light the way.
Shouting rang out again from somewhere above. Jon raced to follow it.
Around him, the house was in the slow process of falling apart. Ornate wallpaper hung faded and peeling, shreds of old rugs showed the ragged remains of color and embroidery, and broken shards of wood protruded from walls and doorways alike, as if any ornamentation set into them had been ripped out long ago. This must have been a fine-looking house once, but now it was a crumbling wreck.
Eventually the hallway opened up to another dilapidated chamber, this one a rotting front hall with its doors still standing ajar. Opposite them, the sagging remains of a grand staircase led up to another floor.
Jon had nearly reached the foot of it when he spotted movement at the top of the steps, and his vision went black.
For a split second he thought he’d lost consciousness, but the floor remained firmly beneath his feet. His breath came in short bursts of alarm as he drew another spell circle for sight in the darkness, to no avail.
Jon settled his grip on the staff, wincing at the pain in his burned hand. The bad news was, nothing that simple was going to let him see through this darkness. The good news was, it meant he knew what he was dealing with. He should have figured it out as soon as he left the basement and saw how dark it was. Stupid.
He could hear the others. Their running footsteps had fallen still, but the sound of panicked breathing was unmistakable. Someone was whimpering in pain with each breath. Someone else was whispering frantic reassurances. The darkness swallowed up everything else.
Jon hardly had to reach for his magic. It was brimming all the way to the surface, swollen from the storm of half-wild magic that had brought him here. When he drew a spell circle in the air with a tight whirl of his staff, it all came boiling up and out like a geyser.
Eyes opened everywhere—in Jon’s face and neck, along the length of his staff, in Atlas’s wooden face and wings, and in the choked air all around him. The darkness burned away as quick and clean as thin paper, revealing the scene before him.
There were three people now at the foot of the stairs, in such a state of panicked disarray that Jon could hardly tell whether they’d run or fallen down them. The larger of the two men had the others pushed behind him, backing away from the creature that menaced them, all three of them too frozen in terror to even attempt to cast a spell.
In spite of the glowing eyes that lit the room, a single wriggling mass of darkness remained, crawling and twitching toward its prey with wispy feelers that reached out to touch them. Sour air wafted from its body, filling the room with the smell of rot.
An acid shade. Nasty, hateful things that hunted prey by blinding it, then dissolving it while it was still alive. One touch was enough to melt the skin off your hand. Gerry still had scars from his last encounter with one.
Gerry.
The eyes blazed, and for the first time the brightness touched the shade’s slick hide. It recoiled, convulsing with a sound that was not a scream, but close enough.
Jon didn’t remember crossing the room, but he stood between the writhing mass of shadows and its would-be victims, so he must have. Fear warred with wild, directionless anger. He missed Gerry and hated Jonah. He remembered the feeling of lips on his, and the sight of his only friend weeping as his image shattered. Jon took all of it, gathered up every last drop, and poured it all into the merciless light of his swollen magic. He gave it all of himself, until it was blinding, until he could See every part of the room he stood in, down to every last crack in the walls, down to every convulsing wisp of darkness that made up the shade.
It let out another not-scream as it was utterly, agonizingly Seen.
And then it was gone, and Jon’s last drop of magic trickled out and left him hollow.
The darkness returned—not a demonic creature this time, but regular unconsciousness creeping up on him. He fought it as he turned and looked back at the faces of the people he’d saved. A round-faced man, so pale that his freckles stood out in his face; a woman with wide eyes and dark hair in disarray; and the second man clutching a corrosive burn that covered his arm, whose face—
—whose face Jon recognized.
“Danny?” Half-blind, Jon struggled to focus as the world grew smaller, and the darkness overtaking it nearly obscured the look of shock on the man’s face. “You found your way home?”
He lost his grip on consciousness before he could hear the answer.
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sixeyesgojo · a year ago
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Congrats bb 💕(i hope this isn't too many lines of the song bc they are short lines 😭) Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness And you fill my head with you Shall I write it in a letter? Shall I try to get it down? (Bloom - The Paper Kites)
Can I be close to the sky?
Prompt: And you fill my head with you, shall I write it in a letter?
Word count: 895
Character: Yuta
A/N: Don’t worry about it, I’m not super strict on stuff like that (and hopefully I don’t come across as super strict adjkasdjad) but I still picked the two lines that spoke to me the most. Hope you’re okay with that! And omg, I love this song so much already... so... fluffy. Enjoy your meal ♥
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Wait, Yuta stopped in his tracks and turned his head. A familiar silhouette caught his attention. Was that you?
Originally, he planned to head back to his accommodation after a successful mission but he found himself heading your way. Steps getting faster and faster, pushing his way through the crowd. Fond memories of delightful days rushing back into his head. “Y/N! Is that you?” “Huh?” you turned around. And indeed, it was you. The person he missed so much. Something warm started to spread in Yuta’s chest, just like wildfire but… it was comforting. “Oh my God, Yuta? Long time no see! How have you been?” you asked him with the most dazzling smile he had ever seen. He still remembered it, but gosh, did it feel nice to see it again. The beam on his face was a tell-tale sign of his joy.
“I see that smile of yours stayed the same,” you giggled. “Yeah, you said you liked it. Besides, it’s hard to change it anyway,” he shot back. How nice, he thought, to be in your heart-warming presence again. As if you just washed away all his stress from the past few days. Unfortunately, the encounter was brief: you had somewhere to go. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t a tad bit sad about it; people were busy after all and he knew that very well. Until…
“Hey Yuta. I swear I gotta go right now but… if you want to, we could catch up some other time?” you suggested. Yuta was taken aback for a second; his heart skipped a beat or even two. “Sure, I would love to!” he exclaimed, overjoyed. “I have a new number though, my phone broke and I lost all of my contacts I had saved…” Of course he couldn’t tell her that a cursed spirit broke his damn phone. “Oh, so that’s why you never replied to me! No hard feelings though.”
Your smile would be the death of him one day.
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“...and that is how my best friend spilled all the food on me,” you told him, rolling your eyes. The man, who had tried his best not to laugh, started snorting with laughter. “Yeah yeah. Just laugh at my misery,” you said, hitting his shoulder. You attempted not to break out in laughter yourself – in vain because his laughter was ridiculously precious and pretty contagious. Something about him made you feel incredibly safe; it has always been like that. It was so easy to let go and laugh with him. “God, I’m so sorry, Y/N. That story was just so hilarious, I couldn’t help myself,” Yuta choked in-between snorts. Tears were forming at the corner of his eyes because of how hard he laughed.
The funny stories were never-ending and the blissful laughter continued the whole afternoon. It felt so good, so natural, laughing with you again.
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“Time flies. Would you look at the time? Jeez, it’s already this late, I can’t believe it… though I suppose it happens when you hang out with an old friend,” you mused. “Well, you have my number now. We could hang out more often… if you want to,” there was a note of shyness in his voice. “I wouldn’t mind at all. It was fun spending time with you again.” Somewhere inside you, you hoped he’d say something more but he didn’t. Instead, he pushed something into your hands. You looked at the envelope. “Yuta?” you questioned, looking up again, only to see the black-haired guy had vanished already. A sigh left your lips as you took out the letter inside. This endearing boy.
Dear Y/N, I probably just left you with this. I bet you’re confused but I swear, I’m so sorry! I just… Well, I am very nervous but it’s overdue… Haha, this is kind of awkward. I’ve never done this before but for some reason, I suddenly had this strong urge to write you a letter after I met you again. So, here goes nothing.
I just hope this won’t sound weird but You remind me of the sky.
I don’t know how to explain it but I just think you are so… beautiful. There’s a glow whenever I look at you. It seems to surround you, especially when you smile. Can’t really get enough of it, apparently, because… I constantly think about you. You fill my head with pieces of you, it’s like a million fragments of flowers seem to cloud my mind when I reminisce about old times.
Truthfully, I always enjoyed hanging out with you. Your presence is very comforting to me. You know how nervous and anxious I can be at times but I found myself being… fine whenever I was with you. I really wanna thank you for stepping into my life. Really, you made it so much brighter.
Never stopped thinking about you, especially after my phone broke. It was hard on me because I wanted to talk to you. You have always been such a great person, great friend. However, with time I realized I wanted to be closer to you. Can I do that?
Can I... be close to you?
- Yuta
Reading the letter sparked some overwhelming emotions from within you; the tears ran down your cheek in endless streams. This idiot. You had always liked him.
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Taglist: @megumifushi @assbuttbaek @melonnbar @delammi
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beguilewritesstuff · 8 months ago
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sicktember 10: i’m not sick + medicine
Fandom: Star Wars sequel trilogy. FinnPoe and Finn has some Jedi training. Because reasons. 
“i’m not sick + medicine” 
“I’m not sick,” Poe assures Leia over the comm. “I promise. May I be dismissed now?”
              Leia isn’t too happy, but she lets him go anyways. “Dismissed.”
              “Good night, General.”
              The second he’s off, his shaking hand drops to his side. The comm nearly slips out of his fingers. His head hangs; his chest feels tight. Tugging at his jack and shirt don’t help. Poe’s reeling, dizzy. Mouth cottony, throat ragged, eyes rheumy, head thick. He can feel his heart pounding into his skull, blood throbbing under his skin.
              BB-8 chirps worriedly from behind him in the X-Wing’s tail. “Yeah, alright,” Poe says tiredly, “Fine, I might be a little sick. But the General doesn’t need to know that.”
              He climbs out of the cockpit, shakily making his way down the ladder to the plush forest floor. He’s left a scar through the trees behind him from his landing. Not his worst landing, but definitely not his best. Good thing no one is around to give him a hard time.
              Poe fumbles to get his comms gear dismantled. His fingers are loose and clumsy, head full of clouds. He’s on his knees and drops all the way to the ground, exhausted, ready to call it a night right there if not for the ominous quiet of the forest. The potential for predators is too high. He forces himself to climb back into the cockpit, hunkering down in his seat with a shiver.
              He wakes up to cold. Frost on the inside of the windshield, in his hair and the makings of his beard. His hands are numb. Breathing into them – coughing into them, actually – doesn’t help much. Poe’s still left struggling: to get himself upright with the world careening on its axis, to get down the ladder without falling. He’s less than successful, missing one rung and sliding down, catching himself at the bottom after he’s cracked his knees a couple of times. His head hangs back on his neck, the sky swirling above him with blues and teals and indigos, an unnatural dawn on an unnatural planet.
              BB-8 chirps at him, has been chirping at him. Poe tries to form words, but he gives up, his mouth too dry, his head to full. His eyes hurting more. He falls onto his knees, the ground no longer comfortable now that it’s frozen. He’s gotta get a message to the General, let her know he’s running recon today. Gotta get his gear in place.
              The gear. All the way back up in the cockpit.
              Poe makes it to the ladder but he does not make it up. His legs give out, and he tries to hold on but he’s falling suddenly, landing roughly on the frozen earth. Too numb to even shake, though the frigid wind is picking up around him. He feels it trickle through his hair, a ghostly hand, as a giant gray sun appears in the sky and comes straight down on top of him.
              Things get hazy after that. At some point he’s not cold anymore, he’s hot, too hot. The ground underneath him has defrosted and softened, but it burns everywhere it touches. Poe tries to get away. BB-8 shrieks at him. Voices talk at him. Nothing sticks though. Poe can’t make any of it out. He drags a hand over his face, willing his vision to clear and for things to start sticking, but everything that happens washes through him, there and gone.
              More voices appear. Poe really doesn’t recognize them. He bucks up inside his…cockpit? Which only has one side now, for some reason. And none of the instruments. Walls feel kind of funny, actually. More plush. Was he robbed? Was he captured? There are figures coming closer to him, their faces blurry, some wearing long cloaks and all of them speaking in tones that Poe couldn’t read even if his brain was retaining information at the moment. “Stay away from me,” he says, “You stay away!”
              They don’t stay away. One of them grabs him by the head while another shoves a thin rim of a dish between his lips, and then there’s something warm making its way down his throat.
              Poe tries to cough, but he’s gone limp suddenly. No muscle control, no nothing. His eyelids drop, his head falls back, deeper into enemy hands. He’s sliding down those strange plush walls of his stripped-down X-Wing, and suddenly he’s further than that, through the ground, into the planet, on a crash landing with whatever the planet’s core is made out of. Exactly where a pilot never wants to be.
              He rises slowly through darkness. Comes back to dim lights and soft blankets. A funny taste in the back of his mouth. His vision clears gradually, and he finds himself lying on the bunk in the Millennium Falcon, wrapped up so tight he can’t get his arms to move.
              Finn’s there next to him, sitting on some toolkit or artillery case. He strokes a hand on the side of Poe’s head, sighing with relief. “Poe.”
              “Good to-“ but little more than a wheeze comes out.
              “Don’t try to talk yet.”  
              “Who,” Poe mouths the word.
              “The locals,” Finn says. “They found us – Rey, me, Rose – while we were loading you onto the Falcon.” He breathes another sigh. “You were in bad shape, Poe.”
              He nods or, well, tries to. But then still tries to add, “I’ve had worse.”
              “You promised General Organa you wouldn’t fly sick anymore. Ever.”
              “I didn’t think,” Poe has to catch his breath, the effort to say even a few words too much for him. He closes his eyes, counts to ten, starts again, quieter this time. “I didn’t think it was this bad.”
              Finn leans close to him, still stroking the side of his head. Poe’s eyelids flutter. He opens his mouth to say how nice that feels, and maybe he does. Finn smiles a little, sweeps his hand through Poe’s curls. “Next time, ask yourself if I think it’s that bad.”
              “You always-“ Poe’s spiraling. He glances in the direction of Finn’s roving hand. “This isn’t fair. You’re not being fair.”
              “Unfair would be me using Jedi mind tricks on you.”
              Poe lets his eyes close. “Thought those only worked on the weak-minded.”
              “You’re the one who keep flying out when he’s sick.”
              “For the Resistance,” Poe says lamely, quoting the propaganda poster.
              Finn presses his hand flat onto the side of Poe’s head, his palm warm. His touch perfect. “What about for me? I don’t want to lose you, Poe Dameron.”
              Poe can’t get his eyes back open. He can’t move an arm to touch. He can’t do anything. And it’s somehow okay because Finn is leaning down on the bunk next to him. “Could you keep yourself safe for me?”
              He mouths the word.
              Finn doesn’t let him off so easy. “What?”
              Poe’s eyes open slightly, just a crack. He looks at Finn, really looks at him, and says, “Anything. For you, Finn, anything.”
              Finn kisses him. The utter perfection of it knocks Poe straight out of himself. He struggles to get a hand free, to pull Finn back to him, and the motion causes his eyes to shut. Luckily, Finn’s got those Jedi instincts. He tucks himself even further on the bunk with Poe, his hand trailing through Poe’s hair.  
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paper-n-ashes · 10 months ago
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sparks and embers - chapter 4
Characters: Poe Dameron x Original Female Character, Kylo Ren x Original Female Character
Story Tags: Explicit (18+), Canon Compliant/Divergent (Set after TLJ), First Person POV, Love Triangle, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Porn with Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren hates Poe Dameron
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Chapter 4 - Fun
Words: 5.7k
Chapter Tags/Warnings: The biggest warning I can give is that this was my first ever attempt at smut - ever. Mutual masturbation, one party technically unconsented.
Read on AO3 or Start from the beginning
~
It was paradise and torture, all rolled into one.
He looked unbearably delicious sitting on the ‘fresher stool, facing away, towel draped carefully below his waist. Steam rose in swirling clouds from the floor around him, making the air heavy as I drew in slow, measured breaths.
Poe didn’t look up as I moved past the open curtain, and I could only assume it was because he felt as uneasy as I did. Without much control over myself, my eyes traced the droplets wriggling down his back over his now unwound muscles, wanting nothing more than to draw my fingers over, to feel his smooth skin on the tips.
It was all so enticing, and the throb in my centre becoming harder to ignore. I was forced to put more thought into my movements as I stepped towards the shelf in front of Poe, wondering if he noticed the side glances I attempted to get a better view.
Now is not the time Alexys.
The remark shook me back into sensible thinking, realising Poe was in a vulnerable position, and he trusted me enough to see him like this. He wouldn’t want to be gawked at - he genuinely needed assistance.
With a newfound sense of responsibility, I took the shampoo from the shelf and rounded back behind Poe’s head, his hair glistening with moisture, looking at nothing but my hands. He was silent along with me, probably bracing himself for this stranger to mangle their fingers awkwardly into his hair.
I squirted a stream of liquid shampoo on his head, the icy temperature of it making him tense for a moment, noticing when he raised his bandaged hand to grasp the side railing of the chair. Timidly I began to run my fingers through the portion of I’d covered, building the soap up into a foam, continuing to spread it through the rest of his wettened mop.
There was a warmth that soon arrived, spreading through my chest as I drew my fingers in and out, a warmth that felt less salacious and more… kind. And it would have stayed that way if Poe hadn’t hummed a low moan.
Oh maker, you are not making this easy.
As soon as it bristled past his lips he bolted upright.
“S-sorry,” he stuttered, evidently surprised himself at the sound he’d made. “No one has washed my hair before, I mean if you don’t count my parents when I was a child. It just felt... nice.”
I didn’t respond, making the air hang thick with our silence. Nothing I could say was going to make the moment any less awkward for the both of us.
After briefly stopping the twirling movement of my fingers following the… sound, I continued my lather over his scalp, making sure every particle of dirt, sweat and most likely blood was caught in the froth of soap.
When content with my work I reached over his shoulder and unhooked the detachable shower head, my eyes still trained on anything other than his bare skin. After angling it down, I pressed the start button on the handle, the flow of water hitting my bare feet as I made sure the water was an acceptable temperature before letting the cascade of soapy water rush down his spine.
With my hand I began to guide him to tilt back so I could safely wash out the soap just above his forehead. In this position I could see more of his face, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, eyebrows wrinkled like he was uncomfortable.
“Is the water too hot?” I peeped, pulling the shower head away.
His eyes opened in a flash, startled by my question. “No! Not at all! I was just lost in thought about… Uh… How to fix BB-8. It’s fine, really.” He shifted in the chair, his bandaged arm still gripping onto the rail while his casted arm rested rigidly over his lap. As I moved the water stream back to his hair, his eyes closed again, this time without the tautness I’d noticed before.
After all the shampoo had been thoroughly rinsed I began the process again, only this time with conditioner. I didn’t ask if he actually wanted it, since it was more out of my own habit, but he didn’t stop me when I grabbed the bottle and jetted the thicker liquid into his hair, continuing to slowly massage it into his tresses.
It became somewhat relaxing, methodically weaving my fingers to evenly spread the silky lotion to every strand. He moved uneasily again, and I noticed the hand holding the rail was clutching tightly, his bicep tensed hard.
Maybe I’m terrible at this.
Deciding it was time to finish this embarrassing experience, I started up the water and rinsed Poe’s head free of conditioner, again seeing the strain washing over his face as he leaned back, like he was trying to conceal it from my view.
I rustled a fresh towel over his scalp, leaving his hair only slightly dampened. “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” I mumbled. “I’m not used to washing patients’ hair.”
Poe immediately twisted his torso, looking up to my face. I gritted my teeth as I registered his contracted abdominals. “What are you talking about? You didn’t hurt me.”
My eyes flickered to his arm. “You just seemed really... tense.”
“Uh,” Poe mouthed, the sound muted. I watched his eyes move down my chest, pupils swollen against his brown irises. He didn’t continue. He seemed lost for words.
I followed the trail his stare had made down my torso, sucking in an alarmed breath. I’d diverted so much of my thoughts towards Poe I hadn’t recognised the spray of water that’d soaked through my white cotton shirt, my bra now starkly visible through the dampened fabric. The cloth clung tightly to the curves of my breasts, leaving extremely little to imagination.
Of-fracking-course.
I laughed. A body shaking cackle that bounced off the tiled walls around us.
Any embarrassment in me simmered to hilarity at the thought of Poe’s face with my chest readily on show. His illuminating smile continued to flash as he chuckled along with me, and I couldn’t help but relish in it for the moments in which we continued to snicker.
When my laughter died down, I sighed, not exactly attempting to cover myself. He’d already seen what I had on display. “Well I think I’ve done just about as much as I can,” I jested, a smirk still drawn on my lips. “Do you think you can get yourself dressed? There are more night-clothes in the cupboard behind you.”
“I think I can manage,” he grinned back, seemingly relieved at the disruption from whatever tension had risen during this whole endeavour.
And with that, I sauntered out from the ‘fresher, closing the door gently behind me. My heart pounded to the beats of memories dashing into my mind, barely able to strangle a coherent understanding of everything I’d felt. It was all I could deliberate on as I entered my living quarters at the end of the hall and changed into new shirt - navy blue this time. My mind desperately tried to collect all the emotions I had experienced in the last 30 minutes and render some form of comprehension from them.
It was clear, I’d grown unprofessionally attached to Poe, so quickly, and more than any other human I’d encountered.
You like him.
It was a simple answer, yet it felt childish, to have developed a juvenile-like crush so soon after our meeting. I knew it was more to do with his appearance than our limited interactions, even though they were still somewhat endearing. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d experienced any of this heart fluttering emotion.
There were a few men that littered my past, but I had yet to experience the all-consuming, overwhelming need for someone that made people do irrational things, and I was sure no-one had ever thought of me in that way.
Only fleetingly had I endured any type of loneliness during my time on Raxus, and it usually passed as I woke to a new day - my work and my patients being wonderful distractions. I’d become so independent, so self-sufficient, that I never yearned to have someone become the centre of my universe.
Come now Alexys. You know that is not the reason why.
I gripped the sheets at the edge of my bed I had found myself sitting on.
You cannot let anyone too close. Not unless you want them to die along with you.
Before I could let the voice cause me to dive into an ocean of panic, I heard the ‘fresher door click closed.
“Alex?” Poe called from the hallway.
My feet planted onto the floor as I stood, letting the anxiety dissipate into the air around me. “Back here Poe.” I listened to his footsteps plod along the floor as he limped towards my living quarters, along with a few quiet huffs of effort. When he came into view at the entrance he still looked as appealing as before, even without his bare skin on show.
“You live in your clinic?” he questioned, looking around the apartment style quarters I’d constructed with the help of a few locals.
It was simple, efficient. The sizable room had everything a normal home would contain, all pulled into one. Kitchenette and dining table to the left, living room with a small two-seater sofa at the back wall, and my bed and closet to the right. A door leading to an ensuite ‘fresher was in the far right corner, one I only used if an overnighter patient was with me.
“It’s so I can still monitor a patient’s condition when they’re unable to return home yet. Remember, I’m the only doctor for thousands of kilometres.” I motioned to the holoscreen on my bedside table that would usually be displaying the vitals for any patients connected to monitor lines. There were only flat lines and zeros there now.
Poe cocked his head. “You don’t ever stop do you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Being a doctor, looking after people. Even in your own quarters you’re still in that mode.” He hobbled further into the room, taking in the space around him.
“I’m sure you’re the same with your work for the Resistance.”
“True,” he conceded. “Being in the middle of a war tends to do that to people.”
I couldn’t hold back a cynical snort.
His eyebrows crinkled together. “What did that mean?”
Kriff. I wish I hadn’t done that.
“I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Just tell me,” he grumbled.
I pressed my lips into a hard line. I didn’t really want to start a heated discussion about the futility of this war with a Resistancepilot. But from the interactions I’d had with Poe so far, I doubted he was going to let this go.
“It’s just… Don’t you see the pointlessness of it all? Even if you overcome the First Order – how long will it be before another enemy rises up, or your new leaders become the same ruthless dictators themselves?” My voice grew less apprehensive, straightening myself into a more confident pose. “People are fickle. They change. Their emotions rule them beyond anything else, and because of that they can be manipulated so easily. People who swore fealty to one side can be dragged onto the other. The cycle never ends. There will always be more war, more fighting, more innocent deaths.”
Poe stared at me, bewildered. “You think it’s pointless to fight back against the First Order? People who conquer or destroy planets simply for more power? You’d rather we let them do as they please, letting billionsof innocent people die?”
“No of course not-” I started, already regretting every word I’d said.
“But that’s what you just implied, isn’t it? How can a doctorhave such a bleak view of the galaxy?”
I sighed, more at myself for opening my big mouth. “I’m just a realist Poe. People fight, we can’t help it. And those with the most power will fight to keep it, no matter how. I’ve just… I’ve seen too many people die, or damaged for the rest of their lives, for me to think war can ever generate peace.”
Poe’s eyes narrowed, his demeanour darkening. “You don’t think I’ve seen people, my friends, die or horribly injure themselves? You don’t think I’ve seen what war does? I still want to keep on fighting. I haveto. For the people that I’ve lost, who gave their lives for the rest of us, and the people I could save. Because people deserve a galaxy without a tyrant like Kylo Ren deciding who should live and who should die. Somehow, in your eyes, you think it’s pointless to even try?”
I didn’t have any type of acceptable answer. It was rude of me to point out the flaws of war with someone who had risked their life, and most likely come close to death because of it. “I’m… sorry Poe,” I insisted softly, settling back down on the edge of the bed. “It’s not my place to give my opinion on matters like this. I truly apologise if I offended you.”
I glanced up from twiddling fingers to see his delicately confused expression. He exhaled loudly, as he wobbled painfully to one of the chairs of the circular dining table across the room, straightening his injured leg out to rest it.
“I’m sorry too," he said, exhaling. “I’ve been living my life with the Resistance for so long I forgot there might be people who don’t believe in the cause like we do.”
“It makes sense,” I remarked. “Sometimes you get caught up in the bubble of the world around you, it’s hard to see beyond it.”
He nodded. “That’s very true.”
We sat in silence for a moment, both letting the heated exchange dry out into passing memories. Poe continued to peer around the room, his eyes scanning with a subtle scrutiny. “So what do you do when you’re not being a doctor?” he asked, the fierceness from before completely replaced by his normal cheerful tone.
“You mean in my free time?”
“Yeah. Do you have anything that keeps your mind away from all that... doctor work?”
I felt my face crinkle into confusion. “I… I don’t really.”
His expression mirrored mine. “You don’t have any hobbies? Something you do just for fun?”
“Uh…” I started, raking through my brain for anything I did outside the realm of my work. “Huh. I guess I don’t. I may just be the most boring person alive.”
Poe chuckled, and shook his head. “That’s definitely not true.” He met my eyes, flashing me a comforting grin. “You’re just hyper-focused on your work. Trust me, I get that. Sometimes all I even dream about are war council sessions and my ship interface. But you’ve got to switch off eventually, otherwise you’ll go insane.”
I was slightly dubious at that sentiment, since I’d made it over 4 years without slipping into insanity, but Poe’s question made me take check. Truthfully, I couldn’t remember the last time I had fun, when I felt joy in something other than making ill people better again.
Poe could see my face begin to fall. “Hey come on, let’s try now. You’ve only got me as a patient, and I am in no need for your treatment right now. Think of something you used to do, or always wanted to, and we can have a go of it together.”
His sudden eagerness to help made my heart swell. “Uh... sure. Okay.”
Poe nodded once without speaking, urging me to search through my mind for an idea. But it was hard to think when I kept looking at his face, now melted into an enthusiastic smile. I made my eyes glare at my feet, since they would be significantly less distracting while I attempted to think of a supposedly fun activity.
Even when I’d finished my work for the day, on the rare occasion I had no overnighters staying with me, I simply returned to these quarters to have dinner and prepare myself for sleep. In the moments between, all I tended to do was read over current news and research on my data pad, sometimes flicking through medical texts if I was stumped on how to deal with a patient’s condition, especially when it came to rarer alien species. Generally, I would be so tired from the day that I never needed to pass my time with anything remotely hobby based. My focus would be to eat, use the ‘fresher and settle into an easy slumber.
And in this singular moment, I realised how monotonous it all was.
Poe saw me struggling, although probably not knowing it was at the realisation that I had no idea what fun was anymore. “Okay, how about games? Surely you’ve played at least one holo or card game in your life?”
“Well yeah, but that was years ago, and I don’t have any-” I stopped mid-sentence, the flicker of a memory rising into my mind’s view. “Wait here a second.” Hopping up from my bed, I made my way to the office, switching on the light. A large wooden desk sat in the centre, littered with old patient notes I had been in the middle of updating when my life had been so suddenly interrupted with Poe’s appearance.
I ignored them to walk towards the storage cupboard behind it. It took a few minutes of rummaging through stacks of files and old pieces of obsolete medical equipment to find what I’d come in here for - a small, rectangular metal case the size of my two hands, snatching it from the shelf I’d mindlessly placed it on nearly 3 years ago.
Bringing it back with me into my quarters, I quickly sat at the dining table next to Poe, who turned to face me with a look of intrigue. I opened the case, exposing the contents inside. “An old patient of mine gifted this to me, promised to teach me how to play. He… never got the chance to.”
My mind wandered in the memory of the older gentleman who had been struck down with Quannot’s syndrome, only lasting a few days before his unavoidable death. I recalled how much I mourned his passing, distressed at how little I could do to ease his pain before he left this world.
“Sabbac!” Poe burst, interrupting my sombre reminiscing.
I shook myself back into the current reality. “You know how to play?”
“Of course, almost every being in the galaxy knows how,” he scoffed. Only after he noticed me shifting awkwardly in my seat did he realise what he’d said. “Uh, sorry. Come on, I’ll teach you.” He continued to pull the cards out of the case, laying them out face up in a specific order. “Okay, so this is the Flask suit...”
*
If we were playing for real money, Poe would have put me in the red.
“23? Again? You’re definitely cheating,” I grumbled, huffing into my seat, not for the first time of the evening. After I’d grasped the basic concept of the game, we’d played for hours, time passing quickly in the midst of bluffing and strategy.
Poe was evidently enjoying the immaturity of my tantrum, laughing softly as he pulled the last of my chips towards his already immense pile. “I guess beginner’s luck didn’t really work out for you in this case,” he sniggered.
I pouted, watching him stack the chips neatly in coloured towers. “Well, I’m out. You took me for all I’ve got.”
“But didn’t you have fun?”
I nodded and grinned, conceding even when I’d been horrendously beaten, but was a combination of both him and the game we’d played that made me feel an unfamiliar contentment warm my body. I eyed him marvelling his chips, an expression of pride filling his features. “You really like winning, don’t you?”
“Being with the Resistance, you kind of get used to savouring the wins when they occur. Doesn’t happen exceedingly often.” His thoughts seemed to drift away, and in his face I knew he was pondering over the state of affairs back at base with him missing.
“I have no doubt they’ll be searching day and night for you,” I soothed, hoping I guessed correctly.
Poe attempted a smile, but it dissolved when a large sigh breathed past his lips. “I’m doing my best not to worry. The people there, they’re all smart and capable, but we had a plan… and I haven’t been able to see it through. We were running out of time as it is. I can only imagine how concerned they'll be after not receiving a report in over two day cycles.”
“It’ll be okay,” I said softly, tentatively placing a hand on his upper arm, above where I’d placed the plastic cast. “I know it sounds kind of naïve, but when I’m overwhelmed, especially in my work, I break everything down into smaller problems, and try to face the most pressing one. The big picture doesn’t matter, it’s all about solving the most concerning challenge at the time. And little by little, the whole situation becomes… easier.”
“It does sound a little naïve. But… I like it.”
“It worked for me when I was trying to save you.” I gave his arm a reassuring squeeze.
Poe didn’t respond. He seemed to ruminate in his own mind, his mouth in a forced, hard line. I watched as his eyes glanced down to where my palm rested around his bicep, then back to me.
His gaze was suddenly heated, smouldering, so intense it locked me into place, a ribbon of flames darting through my veins. I noticed the speckles of gold hidden through his irises, as it occurred to me how close our bodies had become during the time spent sitting at the dining table. The air around felt dense, the only sound I could register my own gradual breathing.
Poe's vision wouldn’t move from mine, his blazing stare a stark difference from the rest of his softened features. It felt as if his movements were in slow motion, the way he lifted his bandaged arm, a hand reaching up to my face.
I remained unmoving, even when my entire being began to flicker with electricity, igniting sparks at every nerve ending on my skin. Fingertips finally touched my cheek, grazing over it so delicately, yet still making the energy glowing through me intensify, as if trying to break free from my body.
Poe began to lean closer, and unconsciously I mirrored his movement, wanting nothing more in this moment than to feel his lips on mine.
Stop this Alexys. Stop it now.
The voice caused me to jerk backwards, pulling myself away from Poe’s touch, rising abruptly out of the chair. “This is… this is inappropriate,” I peeped, rushing directly to my ensuite ‘fresher, clicking the door closed. With my back pressed against the door, I slid slowly down until my rear hit the tiled floor.
I could still feel the heat of Poe’s fingertips on my cheek, a painful reminder of what I’d run away from. But the echo of what the voice had demanded still rattled through, and I knew it was right. I knew I couldn’t let myself get too close - I couldn’t give in to the sudden desire that had shimmered inside my chest.
It would cost me my safety, my work, my purpose of being. I’d risked everything to get here, given up all I knew of home. I wouldn’t let it all be in vain on the whim of my emotions.
There was no way to stop it, the lone tear that strolled down my cheek. It was a mere fraction of the sobs I wanted to express, both despair and frustration gripping me in a strangling hold.
With shaking palms held front of me, I traced each creased line in the flesh with my eyes. Not for the first time, I cursed at the energy that flowed through them, unlocked from the depths of my consciousness and healed those who needed it the most, those who would have otherwise died when even the greatest medical care couldn’t save them.
I’d kept it hidden for my whole life, the Force I’d been born with and couldn’t escape from. I’d concealed it from everyone, including my parents, keeping a far enough distance to hold my secret within my mind.
Only two outcomes came with exposure. One being I would be recruited, trained as a Jedi and guilted by the Resistance to join a war I didn’t believe in. The other being hunted by the Sith, or any kind of dark side user, and killed for showing any type of prowess with the Force like so many younglings before, or swayed into the war to fight on their behalf.
There was no way either side would allow me to slip from their grasp once they knew. They would never tolerate my neutrality and let me stay here in the countryside of an Outer Rim planet, doing exactly what I wanted to do. Heal.
Why me? Why did this have to happen to me?
Because you do not want it.
That’s cruel.
Such is life.
*
I wasn’t sure how long I spent sitting on the ‘fresher floor, ceaselessly on the verge of tears, yet never allowing the emotion to fully break. A creeping feeling of humiliation had started to filter in a short time ago as I recounted over and over how abruptly I’d run from Poe.
My eyes hadn’t caught the glimpse his face after I wrenched myself away from his hand, yet all I could do was imagine it now, features struck with shock and rejection. I’d barely heard him leave my quarters after I’d shut myself away, faintly recalling his right leg still making a larger thumping sound when he walked into the hallway, closing the door behind him.
That memory had taken place hours ago, and my body was beginning to ache after another large portion of time connected to hard tile.
The only thing I wished for now was the comfort of my bed, to sleep away this evening and wake to a fresh day. But I couldn’t. There was still a patient to look after. I needed check on Poe’s condition, update vitals, make sure his wounds were still healing. For my own benefit, I would rather wait for the morning when some of the lingering awkwardness would have dissipated, but there was no possibility of sleep without being sure he was still in good health.
Plus, I hadn’t told him about the food supplies waiting in the clinic cupboard. Being so distracted by playing cards I'd never made us dinner, and he needed all the sustenance he could get to heal properly.
With a fragile resolve to get it done and over with, I peeled myself from my sitting position, joints popping at the movement after being inactive for so long. I peered slowly through the door, on the small chance Poe was out there waiting to greet me, but it was just the empty quarters that filled my view.
For a reason I couldn’t discern, I began to tread lightly towards the hallway door, the stillness of night sending a quick shiver down my spine. Before opening it I glanced back at my chronometer on the bedside table.0200.
He was probably asleep by now.
Hesitation washed through me, knowing if that were true I shouldn’t go poking him awake just to assess basic vitals. But the urge was too strong, pushing me to step into the hallway, tip-toeing cautiously over the floor.
I was halfway down when I heard Poe’s low exhale echo through the passageway.
Hm, maybe he was dreaming.
My movements halted, waiting for another sound to confirm my guess. Soon enough, a louder sigh floated towards my ears, tainted with an emotion I couldn’t name.
I continued to tread ever so lightly towards the clinic entrance, noticing the lights had been shut off except for the lamp at Poe’s bedside softly illuminating the room. I shifted carefully closer, almost at the doorway, Poe’s relaxed breaths still filling my ears as I took nimble steps towards the noise.
When a low, breathy moan swirled into the air, my body froze.
The fire in my lower abdomen crackled to life at the sound, making my limbs heavy, locking me where I stood, hidden from view.
Another moan, louder this time, rumbled past Poe’s lips, and I savoured the way it hit my body. My hearing strained to collect every wavelength of sound coming from just outside the hallway entrance. There was movement, a rustling of fabric of some sort, a slight creak of the bed frame.
I could feel my throat growing tighter, fearful of my breath alerting him to my presence, as the realisation of what was happening - what he was doing - finally dug its claws into my skin.
Poe groaned in pleasure as I began to recognise the sound of a repetitive slippery motion over flesh, the flames inside bursting into an inferno, the fever hottest between my legs.
I leant my back on the hallway wall closest to Poe’s hospital bed, fearing my knees would buckle underneath me. His breathing became faster, more passionate, as the pace of his movement grew more rapid.
Inside my mind, I was bombarded with hypothetical images of his body in the next room, a strong hand gripped tightly around the shaft of his length, shifting up and down. The gasps he continued to make fell into time with my imagination, the sound of skin making a slicking friction keeping rhythm with the urgent pumping of his hand I visualised with impeccable realism.
My fingernails scraped at the wall, eyelids shut tightly while Poe’s delicious moans sent shockwaves through my circulatory system. I’d never felt so much lust in my life, knowing if I caught any other male in this vulnerable position I would have scuttled away quickly, mortified. Yet the reality of Poe touching himself a few metres away, not knowing I was here listening to his rising pleasure, made an urgent craving throb between my legs, one that needed to be relieved. Now.
Little care had been paid to my sexual needs in the last 4 years on this planet. Suddenly, it felt like I had to give into it otherwise I might die.
Poe’s breath hitched, a sharp inhale indicating he was getting closer to his peak. The singular noise made me slip my hand down past the border of my leggings and under my panties, sliding a finger down in between my folds. A slick moisture was waiting, more than I’d ever felt in previous encounters.
Dragging two fingers through it, preparing myself, Poe’s groans became hungrier, desperate. As soon as I began the motion of relieving the ache below, fingers gliding gently over my swollen clit, the flames fizzled, only to be replaced with an immense sparkle of electricity radiating from low in my core.
I inhaled sharply, like Poe had done, and hoped he was too lost in his own pleasure to notice the sound I’d made. When the steady noise of his hand running smoothly over his shaft continued without pause, I knew I’d not broken my cover.
My thoughts intensified to him, envisioning his arm tensing as he held himself within his grasp, his chest bare with muscles contracting along with his movements, a thin layer of sweat glistening on his skin.
Fingertips slid quickly back and forth over my pleasure point as I pictured his face contorted in both effort and enjoyment, his mouth opening only slightly as luscious groans seeped from his throat. I grit my teeth to stop from moaning myself, an undeniable bliss growing stronger with each swirling motion. My chest heaved through silent breaths I couldn’t articulate with noise, mind muddled with overwhelming images of every part of Poe’s body I so desperately wanted to see with my own eyes.
But I refused to move. I didn’t want to break the course of the moment, wishing for nothing more than to hear the sound of his release, knowing it would push me into my own. He wasn’t rushing into it, almost as if savouring this time alone, moans rising only to fall as he slowed his pace again.
I didn’t do the same.
The circling over my clitoris continued to accelerate, tiny instances of my waiting climax peeking their way out every so often, telling me I was getting closer to falling over the edge.
My legs were shaking, being held up by pure resolve to prevent any noise resonating from my body. Poe was speeding up his movement again, but this time he didn’t slow, stuttered sighs escaping his chest, and it hastened my climbing pleasure. I was close, I could feel the tipping point bubbling under the surface of my skin.
Slowly, I heard him growl a few barely comprehensible words.
“Ugh… Alex... yes...”
My release abruptly exploded through me at the sound of my name on his lips, pleasure pulsing in overflowing waves over every portion of flesh. Front teeth bit hard into my bottom lip, preventing the whine I desperately wanted to set free. It was the most intense sensation I’d ever felt, sparks flickering in both the deepest part of my core and the nerves of my limbs, making me shiver in delight.
Quickly, I was all too sensitive, pulling my fingers away, eyeing the sheen of moisture that covered them. My attention was again caught in Poe’s moaning, as he too reached his peak, muted gasps coming in jolts as he finally came, obviously attempting much like me not to make any excessive noise.
Eventually he began to heave in relief, breaths hissing gradually through his teeth. We both stayed in our positions for a minute or so, relishing in the afterglow of our separate orgasms, the flames I’d felt down below settling into smouldering embers.
I was mulling over the pleasure I’d gone without for years, when I heard Poe rustle in his bed, feet softly plodding on the floor. It took two steps for me to finally realise.
He’s coming this way.
~
Next Chapter
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megumidulce · a year ago
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Can I request taking care of their injuries with Akaashi , Sugawara and Tsuki pls
Injured Akaashi, Sugawara, and Tsukishima x reader - Headcanons
a/n: i hate when my boys are hurt, but i gotchu bb, leave this to me. (i think at least Suga and Tsukki are reallyyyy gonna enjoy the attention they get from you.) thank you for the cute request!!
warnings: mentions of injuries and blood, slight cursing
total wc: 820
---
Akaashi:
poor Akaashi got hit in the back of the head by a serve at volleyball practice
it’s actually really bad?? he comes home with a full-blown concussion and you refuse to leave him by himself until you’re sure he’s safe on his own
he actually really appreciates how much you care, but doesn’t know how to handle asking you for help since he’s not v used needing any
so you have to anticipate his needs constantly (it’s pretty exhausting)
water? okay, i got it. has he eaten dinner yet? alright gonna get that started. he needs to walk to the other side of the house? “take my arm, Akaashi”
you’re kinda a stand-in mom and it’s such a wild change of pace from your usually super chill relationship
he feels especially pathetic the whole time, like he’s burdening you
even though it’s literally not his fault at all
he’ll promise to help you study, take you out, buy anything you want so that you can treat yourself for being so kind to him
it’ll go something like this:
“Y/n, here’s some cash.”
“Wait what? But why?” 
“Go buy something.” He’d state bluntly, still a bit dazed from the concussion.
“Oh, sure. What did you need?”
“No, no... it’s for you.” He’d explain.
yeah, the conversation is awkward… but it mostly just bc he’s struggling to piece words together right now
he’s not always super touchy, but since he can’t go anywhere and needs to stay in dark places to heal, he’ll ask you to lay down with him
he really likes when you touch his hair and press gentle kisses to his jaw
nothing sexy happens since he’s so lightheaded, but you best believe he’ll be there for all kinds of hug-to-nap situations
Sugawara:
this would break my heart so much
you hear someone fall just outside of the gym, onto the concrete
turning around, you see Suga on the ground with an awfully deep cut down his arm
you run over, helping him up off the pavement
“I’m okay, y/n! Please don’t worry!” He’d beg through a pained, but beautifully beaming smile
he sees the distress in your eyes and immediately tries to calm you down
this boy is an angel. thinks of you first, even when he’s bleeding out all over his (and now your) clothes
you have him sit on a bench until you can find first aid and he complies just so you feel a bit better
as you apply pressure to his arm, he’ll lean into your face and bump his forehead gently on yours
“Thank you for this, y/n. I… you always take good care of me.”
like, he’s comforting you right now? come on dude, i’m the one trying to help you out
you’ll receive little, flirty kisses on your face
all over your cheekbones, jaw, ears, and eventually moving onto your lips
the way his lips move on your own make both of you forget about his injury for a moment
but you both snap back to real life once you hear Hinata in the distancing screaming about the bloody bandage on Suga’s arm
the mood is killed, but laughter def ensues
he’ll still walk you home... and buy you an iced drink of your choice for making out with helping him
10/10 Sugawara would fall over for you again
Tsukishima:
he would definitely be the one to get awful injuries on both his hands from blocking
his wrist is sprained on his right hand and his left hand has 3 fingers that must stay bandaged for a few weeks
this boy will c o m p l a i n so much the first couple of days
i have a feeling he has a low (physical) pain tolerance, so it actually does really hurt a lot
you’ll feel sympathy pains anytime he winces after touching something, which makes you want to coddle the usually obnoxiously stoic boy
(his emotional pain tolerance is another story oop don’t tell him i said that)
eventually, he realizes he can use this to get you to do the little mundane tasks that he hates
you’ll be making him his favorite breakfast every morning, running to the store, and folding his laundry
he’ll also definitely be asking you to do things he doesn’t need help with, just to get you flustered
“Y/n, I need help washing my hair... join me in the shower?” He’ll ask with a smug look on his face
“Leave me alone, you ass.” You’ll retort with a snort, but a faint blush betrays that response
by now you realize he’s turning his pain into some kind of game, but what can you do?? he’s still physically incapable of lifting most things right now, so you just suck it up
however, it does give you a few chances to get more up close and personal w/ him
he’s usually the more physical one, but he has to lay off of using his hands… which allows you to go after him with yours
he’ll be laying across the couch, you on top of him messing with the bandages and wraps on his hand
you give each finger little kisses, making sure none of them feel left out, then work your kisses up his arm
by then, you’re at his neck, him leaning back with a smirk clear across his face, leaving fluttery feelings across his exposed skin
you’ll find yourself pinning him down on the couch, leaving him unable to grab any part of you, instead stuck just gazing at you
your hands will find their way to his face, tracing every inch attempting to get some reaction from him
it turns into a very unique make out session… quite empowering for you???
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heaven-with-mark · a year ago
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long day.
it had been... too long of a day. far too long. too many disastrous things. being cat-called simply for being an omega. being eyed up and down just walking by people, their gaze making you uncomfortable as you tried to hurriedly get away. there was a lot of driving done, driving all over just trying to figure stuff out. stops by the phone store to change plans, having to pop into the pet store to grab dogfood for chica and henry, and mark wanted a few things from the store while you were out. 
you were dragging your feet to the front door, grocery bag full of mark’s thing seemingly so much heavier than it really was. the door was unlocked when you tried the handle, much to your delight. you didn’t want to bother fishing your keychain back out of your pocket. there was a moment of peaceful silence after the door clicked shut behind you, then: chaos. 
chica bolted to the door and nearly knocked you down, and then immediately after, the sound of glass shattering in the kitchen followed, and then to top it off, henry got too playful with the bag you were holding and the bottom of it ripped, spilling the contents to the floor.
you shoved chica off you with more force than you wanted, and she backed away with her tail tucked between her legs like she was in trouble. henry flinched back when chica was pushed, leaving you to the mess he had made on the floor. 
it took one long, deep breath and a moment of eyes closed before you got to picking all of the items up, barely able to carry everything in your arms. you toted your alphas things into the kitchen, where he was standing at the edge looking down at the floor. setting things down as you peeked over the counter, you had to clench your jaw when you saw one of the coffee mugs shattered across the entirety of the hardwood. 
panic flooded you on instinct at the sight of drops of blood dribbled on the floor, your head shooting up to look at mark because it had to be from him. his left hand was wrapped up in a towel, clutched tightly with the other. mark looked at you, giving you a nervous look.
you forgot about all else, just worried about taking care of your wounded alpha.
“move the towel.” you asked softly, cupping his hand in both of yours.
he let you move the towel, and his cut was worse than you hoped for. it spanned from the juncture between this thumb and index finger, running along the underside of his hand to just under his pinky. blood welled dark and red as soon as it was uncovered, indicating it was deeper than you thought. 
mark caught on to your distressed scent before you did. you always got the worst panic whenever he was even remotely injured, even if it was just a tiny scratch. this wound was worth worrying so much over, and he knew that. 
“baby, i’m sure it’ll be fine.” he tried to calm you down, the distress coming from you was making more of the alpha side of his front.
you ignored him, “go to the bathroom and wash this off, i’ll be in there in a second to wrap it.”
he scoffed, not used to the fact that his omega was very clearly giving him an order.
the look you gave him in response would have put him six feet under. he mumbled something you couldn’t quite catch as he made his way to the downstairs bathroom, but you didn’t ask him to repeat it, you had to clean up this mess before you could do anything else.
you fetched the broom from the hall closet, careful while sweeping up the shattered porcelain. despite having shoes on and being safe from the shards, you didn’t want any pieces to get stuck and end up tracked around the house.
sweeping the broken mug into the dustpan, you sighed heavy through your nose. of course there was going to be more to do when you got home, there always was with your clumsy alpha.
you dumped the dustpan, putting it and the broom away after so you could go tend to mark. the water wasn’t running anymore, but when you got to the doorway, you found him pulling out all of the things you’d need to clean him up. 
“there, you can do this now, will you please calm down?” he pleaded, instincts making him worried because of the heavy scent that rolled off you. 
“i’ll calm down when i’m done.” you snapped, unintentionally giving him the first indication you weren’t okay right now. 
he stayed silent while you tended to him, stood between his legs. you put down neosporin, then a layer of gauze, and finished it off with wrapping a bandage around his hand a few times, trying to wrap it where he could still use his hand. you gave his hand a look-over, making sure everything fit snug and right.
“baby, it’s fine, you did a good job.” he praised, pulling you closer with his arms around you, holding you tight.
you let him hold you for a second, his face tucked into your neck as he crooned and tried desperately to calm you down. having a second for the first time that day to just sit and not doing anything, you realized just how tired you were. your bones themselves felt heavy, your feet ached. as helpless as you were against it, your eyes drooped. 
“omega.” mark murmured, pulling himself away.
you opened your eyes, confused. you forgot the last time he called you by your dynamic.
“are you okay?” he asked, doing a cute little head tilt that caught you off guard for a second. 
you just shrugged. you didn’t want to lie to him, but you didn’t want to talk about it. not right now. you didn’t have anything to hide but if you tried venting, you were absolutely going to start crying. and you know he knew you too well, he knew the exact same as you did.
he sat and stared at you for a second, probably thinking.
“i want you to go upstairs and change into comfy clothes,” he stood up and gently guided you backwards, “and i’ll clean up the glass.”
you stopped him before he even got to the doorway, “i already cleaned it up, babe.”
he gave you a look that mothers scold their children with. but, you didn’t want to stick around for him to get on you for cleaning his mess. you’d just blame it on omega instinct telling you to ‘serve your alpha and clean up after him’. you pushed past him and trotted upstairs, planning on putting comfy clothes on before he even asked you to.
you were in sweats and one of his hoodies, tucked under the blanket when mark finally came upstairs. you mentally prepared yourself, knowing he was going to make you talk. he hated you being upset, and as much as you didn’t want to talk, the two of you both knew it would make you feel better. 
although, you did already feel a little better after getting comfortable. most of it came from wearing mark’s hoodie that was drenched in his scent, and naturally it calmed you down. 
he stopped in the doorway, loving the fact you were in his hoodie, loving how small you looked with it on. 
you stretched your arms out, making grabby hands and purring. you wanted to just cuddle and forget about today, and he wasn’t helping with just standing and staring. 
he ducked into bed, scooping you into his arms, “oh my perfect, precious little omega.”
you loved the praise but still felt flushed upon hearing it, not the type of person who could accept compliments easily. 
“now, baby, you gotta tell me what happened today.” mark said, leaving no room for arguing.
tears sprung to your eyes from simply thinking about it. you cuddle up closer, feeling a little more at ease with the deep rumbles almost vibrating through his chest as he started crooning in your ear again.
“well... there was a lot of alphas and jerk betas at the store today... you know that didn’t end well. got cat-called and stared at. had to run around town all day, popping into a bunch of shops. your stuff is on the counter,” you had to pause and take a breather before remembering something, “shit! the dogfood is still in the car!”
mark didn’t like the idea of other men, other alphas too, even looking in your direction, let alone making snide comments towards you. he was always one to be possessive. but, for now, he wouldn’t do anything about it. usually he’d spend a fair amount of time, hours usually, scenting you. he would mark you up often, which you displeased of. but, for now in this moment, his cloak hoodie drenching you in his scent would be enough for him. it even covered almost all of your scent.
“i’m so sorry you had a bad day sweetheart.” mark cooed, holding you tighter as he kissed your forehead.
he followed up, “do you want me to make you something to eat? do you wanna watch tv? do you want to shower? either alone or with me, it’s always your choice.”
you just shook your head, purring into his chest quietly, a strong wave of your happy scent drifting around the room.
“just wanna sleep. i’m exhausted.” you yawned, eyes fluttering shut as mark pulled the blankets over the two of you. 
he stroked a hand through your hair for awhile, and you fought to stay awake. as tired as you were, you adored the feeling of being so close to your alpha. the crooning, his soft touch, his scent, how warm he always was. you never wanted moments like these to end. 
you were startled awake and halfway out of your skin when one of the dogs jumped onto the bed, landing just shy of your foot. your head shot up to see what scared the hell out of you, and mark shushed you and pulled you back down to him.
the sudden bitter scent of a scared omega was pungent even to you, and you had grown used to your own scent. it must be so bad for mark, his instinct had to be yelling at him to do something. 
chica settled down just behind mark, and you closed your eyes, trying to calm your mile-a-minute heart. you shoved your face into mark’s chest, letting his scent and warmth do wonders to your inner omega. it did take awhile for your heart to settle, but once it did, you couldn’t keep yourself awake this time. you slowly drifted off, lulled to sleep only with the presence and touch of your alpha.
//feel better bb @marks-right-tibby//
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corruptedconfessions · a year ago
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You obvs don't have to boo but something along the lines of AOB Werewolf.. Alpha Aizawa in rut finding omega reader wounded~ "You taste even better than you smell"... "Shut up and take it". Ily <3
Ily2 bb <3
Day 2 of Monster a day content~~ This one is s p i c y
Tag List:
@writeiolite
@hqbbg
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You were whimpering, cowering away from him as you tried to curl your wounded leg in on yourself, flinching and whimpering when all that did was shoot pain through your entire side. This was bad. This was really, really bad.
You had just been trying to get home after accidentally staying out too late, taking a short cut through the woods to try and get back before your heat started. You knew it had been one dumb decision after another, deciding to go over to a friends house despite being so close to your heat, being careless and losing track of the time until it was already past nightfall, still choosing to leave and try and run home even when you felt that familiar heat starting to bubble in your gut.
And look where it had got you, crumpled among the dirt and leaves on the forest floor, clutching your swollen and twisted ankle, unable to even stand up, let alone limp your way back home. If that wasn’t bad enough your phone had broken in the tumble down that had caused said twisted ankle, and already you could feel the sweat trickling down the back of your neck, slick pooling together between your thighs, soaking through your underwear.
You tried to look around, think of anyway to help yourself out of this mess, anything at all, but your mind was going fuzzy as your heat set in. There was little more you could do other than whimper and chirp fearfully into the silent forest, staring out into the darkness with wide frightened eyes.
A twig snapping behind you had you spinning round as best as you could, a soft frightened noise bubbling out of your throat as you watched a large hunched figure stumbled out of the woods, lips curled back into a snarl as he stepped towards you
“I could practically smell you from the other side of the forest…”
His voice was nothing more than a wrecked snarl, deep and vibrating, making your own throat throb in pain at the sound of his shredded vocal cords. His hunched form slowly made its way into the clearing, stepping out of the darkness and letting you see him fully.
He towered over you, easily over six feet even with him practically bent in half, hair (fur?) covered every part of his body that wasn’t covered by the thin pair of pants that already seemed to be straining against sculpted bulging thighs. Though it was the other bulge that was straining against the fabric that had you whining weakly in need, baring you neck for him as you pitifully tried to spread your legs, yelping softly when you moved your injured leg again.
As he stalked closer to you his alpha scent washed over you, both soothing and stoking the heat burning under your skin, pulling another needy keen from your lips as you bared your neck to him, trembling weakly against the forest floor as he approached you. Sharp teeth brushed against your throat, scraping the skin and sending delightful little shivers through your body as he sniffed your neck before slowly dragging a wet lick right across your scent glad, pulling a high pitched desperate moan from you.
"You taste even better than you smell…"
You shivered, unconsciously pumping out more of your heat scent as that deep rumbling voice rolled through your body, leaving you quivering as slick dripped between your thighs. Keening again you gasped as a deep feral growl came from the man with his face still pressed flush against your vulnerable neck, feeling as his lips curled back against your neck to bare his teeth, a low snarl coming from him.
Within an instant you found yourself flipped over, crying out in pain as you were jostled, forced onto your knees as your head was shoved down into the dirt, ass pulled up high in the air. Mounting position. Your inner omega throbbed with need, another gush of slick adding to the mess pooling in your underwear even as you squealed, yelling and whimpering loudly in pain as you tried to kick out with your good leg, being rewarded with a large clawed hand grabbing the back of your head, shoving it down into the dirt as the other shredded away the clothing covering you, leaving you exposed, slick now freely pouring down your thighs as your ass was pushed up higher.
"Shut up and take it"
You tried to muffle your soft whimpers and cries of pain, the noises you couldn’t stop being absorbed by the dirt below you and your ragged breaths as you tried to breathe around the dirt flooding your senses, head spinning. Your cunt was throbbing, heat rolling off you even against the cold fall air, your thighs were shaking, ankle throbbing in pain, but you couldn’t bring yourself to focus on any of it as hot breath suddenly panted across your heat, leaving you twitching and clenching down on nothing, a loud desperate cry bubbling from your throat.
“Alpha!”
You shrieked, yelping into the dirt when sharp jaws snapped at you, narrowly missing your ass but close enough for you to yelp, trying to scramble forward despite the inhumanly strong hold pinning you down. Whining into the dirt you forced yourself to quiet down again as the wolf draped himself over you, finally letting go of your head just for his clawed hands to clutch your hips, sharp claws sinking into your soft flesh, dragging another pained whine from you.
Drool dripped onto the ground next to you as he thrust roughly against you, cock bumping against your ass with every thrust, catching on your hole just to miss. It took several tries, desperate pleading cries from you and frustrated snarls before he finally hit home, lubed with your slick he thrust all the way inside at once, basking in your pleasured squeal.
Immediately he started fucking you earnestly, hips slapping against yours as he fucked you hard and deep, barely giving you time to even breath as he pushed you into the dirt.
You were left gasping and crying out weakly your blunt nails scrabbling against the dirt fruitlessly as you were dragged back onto his cock over and over again, your ankle throbbing painfully as you were forced to stand on your toes to keep up. Every drag of his dick against your walls had your cunt fluttering, clenching down on him. The fear and pain pumping through cutting through the heat haze that had settled over your brain, but it didn’t stop your body from milking his cock like it was what you were made for, clenching down on him every time he pulled out, desperate to keep him inside.
Low feral snarls and grunts and your loud squeals and moans filled the quiet forest, the wet sounds of your cunt taking his cock seeming deafening to your own sensitive ears as he started fucking you harder faster, his growls getting louder as his rhythm stuttered. You found yourself gasping and whining too, heat pooling in your stomach despite the pain that throbbed through every inch of your body, if anything the pain almost seemed to make the pleasure feel all the more good. Even hurt and scared your body could only focus on one thing: Pups.
Which was exactly why you keened, crying out loudly when you felt his knot swelling at the base of his cock, pushing against your entrance with every thrust, threatening to push into you. Despite yourself you desperately rocked back against it, pushing yourself down harder on him as you whine and drooled for his cock like you were made for it. His claws sunk deeper into your hips, your blood dripping off of them and onto the forest floor but all you could focus on was his knot swelling…swelling…You whimpered up at him as he leaned closer over you, drool trickling down your neck as he opened his jaws, his sharp teeth resting over the back of your neck, resting over your mating spot. Just the idea had your stomach jumping, a soft pleading cry bubbling from your lips as he kept thrusting.
You screamed , arching back against the larger male as his knot finally popped into place, pressing right against your soft spot as he growled and grunted, practically frothing at the mouth around your neck as he jerked his hips, humping you desperately. You shook in his arms, gasping and moaning in pleasure as he rocked against your sweet spot, unable to hold back anymore.
The feeling was apparently mutual as not long after he was roaring loud against your neck, your ears ringing from the intensive of the sound as he pumped you full of his cum. You trembled, jerking back against him desperately as he pumped you full, chasing after your own orgasm just to have it ripped out of you as he sank his fangs into your neck. You screamed, tightening around him, cumming hard as you felt your bond snap into place, forcing you to fall limp, relying on him to hold you up as you whited out from the pleasure pumping through your veins.
You weren’t sure how long you were out but when you slowly came back to your senses you were lowered down onto the forest floor on your side, a warm tongue lapping at the back of your neck, cleaning the mating spot as he ground his cock up into you, basking as your cunt fluttered around his knot, squeezing down on it weakly.
You’re ankle ached worse than when you first hurt it, your neck hurt terribly, and you could feel the cuts still oozing blood from your hips, leaking out onto the forest floor. And yet you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You were stuffed full of cum and warm, a mass of heat pressed up behind you, making you feel safe. Sure, he may still be trying to hump you right after the fact but what else could you expect from a werewolf right?
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gureishi · 10 months ago
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Bb, I love kiss fics 😩
Can I request a passionate kiss with Jaehee at home? I love her too much smh.
Thank you darling, stay safe and hydrated!
In this house, there is a rhythm: it's the pattern of your bodies moving seamlessly through the life you've built together. Jaehee is wiping down the counters in the kitchen (because it's Sunday, and that's the day you clean the kitchen); you wash the dishes and watch the soap bubbles swirling all around you and listen to the sound of birds twittering in the tree outside your window.
She moves behind you and tears a paper towel off the roll and you are conscious of her body against yours. It's just a whisper of a touch—her arm skimming across your back as she brushes past you—but it is enough to make you need her.
You love the pattern of your lives; you love an interruption to the pattern most of all.
"Jaehee," you say. She looks over her shoulder and you reach for her with sudsy hands—and she gasps as you spin her around and tug her into your arms. Her cheeks flush; her lips are a hair's breadth away.
You're getting soap in her hair, but she doesn't seem to mind.
You kiss her roughly. Her body is pressed against yours and you can feel the way her heart races; it takes your breath away.
This, too, is a rhythm: the way you love one another; the stammer in your carefully curated routine. The pattern breaks and the water runs and you forget everything but her body and her hands and her skin.
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angelgrayson · a year ago
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Gray having love boners in the most unexpected moments ; seeing you holding or playing with a baby , watching you cook,when you call him ''my man'' ,when you're getting ready to bed,when you hide behind him when you're scared or embarrassed , when attending a wedding together and he'd be so shameless/unbothered about it because you're the love of his love and he loves to show to it in every possible way. Could you make it a concept? I love how descriptive you get but Sorry if this was too much🥺
this was absolutely not too much bb! i appreciate you and im glad you like how descriptive i get, i work hard on that shit lmao
It’s definitely safe to say Grayson is head over heels, totally, 100% in love with you. And not just infatuated, or passionately intrigued, like legit soulmate kind of love. He looks at you like you hang the stars and the moon every night, like you’re the only thing to matter in the universe.
So it’s natural when he sees you doing things he loves or finds endearing that he feels a certain type of way.
The first time you caught him, though, was when you were both standing in front of his mirror in his bathroom washing your faces at the same time. He was stood behind you as you scrubbed, smiles adorning your faces as you joked around together. You’d spent the day apart and were excited to just go to sleep next to one another. You were happy, it felt good to be with him finally. What you were expecting, however, was to feel the bulge in his pants when you suddenly bent down to wash the cleanser from your skin.
“Are you fucking hard right now?” You tease him, turning on the tap and starting to scoop the water gently across your cheeks and forehead to wash away the bubbles.
“Shut up,” he mumbles, leaning above you and resting his hands on the counter next to your body to trap you there. His body heat radiated towards you like a sauna, but you loved it.
You giggle, deciding your skin is sufficiently clean as you stand up after turning the water off. Your body is completely flush against his and sure enough, his hard cock is still tucked right against your ass as you grab your little towel to start to dry off.
“Why? I thought you were tired.”
He huffs, and even through the bubbles on his skin from his soap you can see the flush growing up his neck and onto his cheeks as he shrugs and pouts. “Dunno. Just love you.”
Your smile never falters as you turn to him, raising your eyebrow. “You got hard because you love me?”
He nods. “Love you and love doing shit like this with you, domestic shit.”
You lift your hand to use the towel to wipe away any suds on his lips before leaning in to peck his lips quickly. “Aw, you get love boners for me?”
He chuckles as his eyes roll, his hands coming to your hips to keep enough distance between you so that you’re not directly against him anymore. “Yes. Now can I wash my face?”
You step aside and let him go through his own routine, but you can’t seem to shake the idea of him getting hard literally just from loving you so much. It was cute, sweet even. And you needed to know what triggered it. So you started to pay attention more. Sure, it’s definitely inappropriate to be looking at and subtly brushing against Grayson’s crotch all the time, especially in public, but you saw it as a way to know what he loved about you without him voicing it.
Some of the things shocked you, like the time Ethan jumped around the corner to scare you both and you screamed, grabbing Grayson and using him as a human shield from what you thought was danger. After Ethan calmed down and life continued on, you saw it.
And you called him on it again, too.
“I like it when you feel safe with me, like I can protect you.”
You accepted that because, well, it was true. There aren’t many places or people in the world that you feel like you can fully relax and be yourself, but if you were anywhere with Grayson you feared nothing.
After that he was almost more into you knowing about it than you. Every time you got him hard without meaning to and without doing anything sexy, he’d give you a look and you’d know instantly what was going on.
So when you’re dancing, drunk as fuck might you add, at your cousin’s wedding and he gives you that look from where he’s sat with your other cousins, you can’t help but immediately break out into a fit of giggles. You’re practically floating to him from your place on the dance floor, ignoring the pleas of your cousins to stay before plopping down into his lap.
“What’s got you this time? Because I know for a fact watching me do the cha cha slide is not what did it for you.”
He laughs, his arms tightening around your waist as you lean your full body weight into him. “I just love seeing you with your family so happy. I’m glad our kids will have such a fun mom and a great family to be a part of.”
You could literally feel yourself melt at his words.
However the incident that got to you the most was brunch the next day. You were hungover as fuck, but obviously still showed up with a weak smile on your face and Grayson on your arm proudly.
Your little cousin obviously had no empathy for you, though. He climbed into your lap the minute you took your seat, talking to you, playing with your hair, your fingers, anything he could reach. And of course you engaged because you love him, and you can’t resist those chubby cheeks.
What you don’t expect is to see Grayson giving you the look that you soon confirm with a glance to his pants. You gasp, your mouth falling open as you swat his arm. “Grayson!”
He laughs, putting his hand over the back of your chair and leaning in so that his lips were almost touching your ear. “Can’t help it. Really want my babies in you.”
And lo and behold, a few weeks later you were looking at a positive pregnancy test.
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jaedore · a year ago
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BINDING BONDS | 4
< prev | next >
parings: jung jaehyun x reader
genre: ceo!au, arranged marriage!au, consumption of alcohol, asshole/player Jaehyun, swearing
[ ◇ angst ]
note: BB deals with themes of mental and physical abuse, which can be upsetting for some readers. If you feel uncomfortable reading these types of plots, you are advised to not continue
a/n: just a little update before things get a lil crazy. i didn’t want the characters to go through so much so quickly, so enjoy this filler chpt!! also send me some feedback, i’d love to hear from you guys! ♡
[ 6.2 k ] 
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You woke up to a throbbing headache and the sun shining in your face. You tried moving away from the light, but a firm pair of arms held you in place. Turning your head, you see Jaehyun sleeping peacefully behind you. You instantly jolt away from him, aghast that you two were in the same bed. 
Jaehyun stirs from the impact but immediately falls back asleep after mumbling incoherent words. Out of all the moments you’ve had with him, this is the first he held such placidity, you couldn’t help but see those features of his that everyone admires. Jaehyun’s skin coated with a honey tone that looked like it was made for a polished statue, the way his feather-like eyelashes kissed his cheeks, and the tint of his lips. It felt like you’ve done this before, admire him. 
Oh no, we didn’t...you looked down and realized you were wearing his shirt, clutching the black cotton between your fists. 
“You’re awake,” Jaehyun whispered, rubbing his eyes. 
“Uh yeah,” you avert your gaze elsewhere, even his morning voice made you jittery. 
“Don’t worry, we didn’t do anything,” he responded, looking at your disheveled state. 
Your hair was put in the worst bun possible, last night when Jaehyun was removing your makeup, your hair was all over your face so he had no choice but to put it up somehow. Since you slept in it, more hairs poked out making you look bizarre. The bare face you possessed brought out the puffiness of your cheeks and the swole in your lips. Jaehyun couldn’t help but look at you, who sat in his shirt. Considering that it was bigger on you, he noticed your shoulder poking out. Nervously, Jaehyun diverts his gaze elsewhere. 
“Then how did you get into my bed?” you asked, the last thing you remember was drinking to the sight of him and Chaeyoung at the after-party last night. 
“You wanted me to stay,” Jaehyun clarified. 
“And you listened to me?” you blurted, clearly frustrated with your actions. As you threw the blankets off, Jaehyun gently grasped your hand to stop you from leaving. 
“Y/n, please. About last night, I meant what I said at the Charity Ball,” he began.  
“I don’t know,” you brushed him off, standing up. 
“Please, just hear me out,” Jaehyun begged. 
You hesitated for a bit, what if he doesn’t mean his words? What if he just goes back to how he was? You inhaled enough air to inflate your lungs, making your decision. You sat back on your bed, crossing your legs, letting him continue. 
“I know what I did was wrong and nothing will ever justify it. I was just angry that I wasn’t allowed to find love for myself, I was angry that I couldn’t be with Chaeyoung. All of the words I said that tore you down, every action that I had done to hurt you, I take it all back. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that and I’m truly sorry. I know it’ll take a while for you to forgive me, but please, I want to apologize for everything.” Jaehyun looked up at you and you knew he genuinely meant what he said because you’ve never seen such misery in his eyes. 
You sat dazed in front of him, your mind couldn’t stop asking questions. Does he even mean all of this? “So what does this mean?” you looked up from your lap. 
“I don’t know, but I do want to try this out with you. I want to see if I can get there with you...no-” he shook his head, “-I want to get there with you and we can go as slow as you want!” 
You sat there thinking to yourself, you were so conflicted and guarded. Is this too soon? Is he just saying this to get in my head? 
“Please say something,” he pleaded, fiddling with his fingers. 
“I-“ you inhaled a sharp breath, “-I don’t know Jaehyun. We’ve been so hostile towards each other the entire time. This is toxic, this isn’t good and I don't want this.” you faltered. 
“Then what should I do?” Jaehyun asked, brows furrowed. As desperate as he sounded, he genuinely wanted to be better for you...and for himself. 
You didn’t know, you didn’t want to say anything because there was a lot that you wanted him to do, “Jaehyun,” you fumbled for the correct words, “I-your words really hurt me, don’t think I have the heart to trust and forgive you right now.”
“Oh,” he lowered his head, clearly disappointed. 
“I appreciate you apologizing though. I think it’s just going to take me some time to figure this out on my own.”
“Of course, take as much time as you needed,” he stood up and with soft steps, walked out of your room.
Why is he so sad in the way he walked? What happened yesterday and why is he suddenly acting differently? You threw your blankets aside and rested your hands on your propped up knees. Your pounding headache wouldn’t stop as you tried to recall the events that happened last night. You remember the vibrations of the blaring music, the flashing lights, the sheer coating of sweat on your body, Jaehyun dragging you away, the dried tears that stained your cheeks, and...you crying. Oh my gosh...you winced at your humiliating behavior as the conversation you had with Jaehyun came back. How can you be so stupid? Get your shit together, damn it y/n!
It took you a while to get yourself out of bed, you didn’t want to risk facing Jaehyun. Maybe that’s why he’s all apologetic now. You thought, citing your conversation with him from last night. When you finally heard the familiar sound of his door shutting, you got up to wash your face. It was then you realized you didn’t have any makeup on. Oh, he must’ve taken it off…
After getting yourself ready for the day, you walk downstairs and there’s a saturated aroma of savory breakfast food filling the air, “You made breakfast?” you walked down to see two sets of plates placed on the table filled with food. 
“Yes,” Jaehyun’s lips pressed together. 
“Oh, thank you.” 
“I’m sorry for not making you any last time,” he scratched the back of his head, “um, let’s eat.” 
If you were to be honest, the tension between you wasn’t exactly there, but it was just a little awkward. You sat across from each other in silence as you ate, the quietness was eating you alive so you took the courage to speak first.
“What happened last night?” you asked him, you just wanted confirmations of your thoughts. 
“Well” he began, “at the club, you got super drunk that you started dancing with one of my friends, Johnny Suh. So I took you home and...you started crying.” 
“Oh my gosh,” you rested your forehead on your palm, embarrassment washing over you, so everything I said was true. “Please don’t tell me what I said,” you held up a hand and continued eating your food. You already knew what you said, you just didn’t want to hear it from Jaehyun.
“Oh. Okay,” Jaehyun thought that maybe you were just embarrassed, but he also felt like you didn’t want to talk about how you truly felt. He figured he’d have to wait for you to be ready without being intoxicated. 
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The day went on how it usually did, you both went to your rooms, this time leaving your doors opened a bit. Occasionally, you’d go to the kitchen to get a snack and you’d see him doing the same. Instead of just staring at each other with a void, a small nod would come.
It’s going to take time. Jaehyun reminded himself as he watched you go back up to your room.
You, on the other hand, you weren't handling it too well. You were so used to people coming and going as they pleased, that you’ve built yourself a wall. You’re just trying to be cautious because of the past and because of how Jaehyun regarded you. 
Your phone rang, interrupting you from your thoughts, “Hello?” 
“Hey, how are you doing?” Haewon asked. 
“I’m fine.” 
“You left me last night without telling me that you were leaving early with Jaehyun,” you knew your best friend was pouting on the other side. 
“I’m sorry, I was just really wasted,” you sighed, you needed to stop doing that. 
“Yeah I know, at least you got home safely,” Haewon commented, “he didn’t...yell at you again right?” 
“No.” 
“Oh really? What happened?” 
“Well this morning, Jaehyun apologized and said that he wanted to actually try. But I don’t know, Haewon. I really really don’t know what to do,” you faltered. 
“Really y/n? He apologized? And you’re going to really believe that? ” Haewon doubted. 
“I mean he sounded sincere,” you shrugged.
“Well, I don’t trust him at all! I hate the way he treats you. There’s no way he whole-heartedly meant it.” Haewon retorted. 
“We’ll see,” you huffed. 
“Anyways, I know you're still planning your collection for spring and summer, but I just wanted to check up on you. I hope you’re doing okay,” you felt her heartwarming smile melt your heart. 
“I’ll be okay,” you reassured her. 
“I’m serious, y/n! If he mistreats you again, Imma just have to come over and give him a little punching!” Haewon threatened. 
“No! Don’t!” you said in bewilderment, “Mark already did and it didn’t end looking good, so please, no more fights.” 
“What? Mark Lee? No way.”
You explained to her the situation of that morning, you still couldn’t erase the image of Jaehyun who looked defeated and contrite at the time. The way his full shoulders suddenly withered over his sturdy body, his firm hands collapsed beside him, and his eyes painted in poignant. The image stained your brain and no matter how much you tried forgetting it you couldn’t help but feel the slight twinge in your chest. 
You rushed the conversation, in hopes of ending the topic, “alright, it’s late and I have to get into the office early tomorrow. Goodnight, I’ll talk to you later,” you yawned. 
“Okay, love you,” Haewon replied. 
You hung up, feeling your stomach grumble. You’ve been in your room all day, you haven’t gone out to eat yet. You headed to the kitchen for a late snack and as you opened the fridge, you spotted a written note stuck to the top of a container.
[ I made some for dinner, but you seemed busy on the phone. Just heat it in the microwave until it’s the way you want it ] 
You took off the top, smelling the stir fry. You nodded, impressed that Jaehyun can actually cook. Once it was warm enough, you sat at the table and scrolled through emails.  You had more files that needed to be approved, hopefully, it wasn’t as much as the last round. Launching a new collection was definitely hard, especially when it’s for two seasons of the year, which meant two different concepts. You loved your job, but sometimes you wish that there were easier ways to approve things. 
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“Good morning,” your mother greeted.
You pressed your lips together at the familiar sight on your desk. Once again, there were stacks of files sitting on your desk, so you had to literally move them to make room for yourself. As you sat down, you ordered the files from most urgent to least and immediately got to work. 
This time, you weren’t so harsh on yourself. You often took breaks and occasionally got food with your mother, you enjoyed the time you shared with her because it wasn’t often that you did. 
“How are you and Jaehyun?” 
“We’re...good,” you hummed, stirring the tea that sat before you. You watched as the tinted liquid swirled after your spoon in the glass cup, it went with the flow. Maybe I should too. 
“Honey, I know when you’re lying,” she took your hand in hers, almost as if she was trying to shield you from the dark world of being hurt. 
“Mother, really, we’re fine,” you sighed. You didn’t want to trouble her or stress her out, you both already have enough on your plate. 
“Just know that you can tell me anything, okay? I’m your mother.” 
“Of course,” you thinned your lips. 
When you came back to your office, you were persistent on finishing, so you worked hard until the series of words soon became blurred and your brain couldn’t absorb any more information. When you looked at the clock, it was suddenly 7pm. You felt the tension in your shoulders, rolling them back, you knew you needed to reward yourself before you started on another department. You strolled into the break room and brewed a cup of tea and sat at one of the closer tables, you heard a text from your phone. 
[ Jaek-ass: hey I made some food and stored it in the fridge again. Just reheat it when you come home ] 
You haven’t changed his name from your contacts, you were going to leave it at that for a bit. Of course, he was gentle in caring for you when you were wasted, you could still feel the warmth of his arms around you. Also when he apologized and when he made you dinner, but despite all that, you were so guarded. You know he was trying, but the hurt that he caused you was blocking you from accepting it. 
When you came home around 9, it seemed like Jaehyun was already in bed. He usually worked from home, but this week he was in the office. You envied how he always seemed to have it lucky, everything usually goes his way. You walked to the fridge to take out the container of food he prepared for you, this time it was macaroni and cheese. You chuckled as you set it in the microwave, you always ate this during your college days whenever you were pulling all-nighters. The taste brought you back to your old days. 
You found your mind wandering to Jaehyun and his old days. You wondered where he went to think and process his thoughts, who were the friends that made him laugh and formed those dimples of his, you didn’t know a lot of things. Did he talk to Chaeyoung yet? You sighed, they had so much history. You knew you were intruding into their relationship, but this was a situation that you couldn’t help. 
As you got ready for bed, you called Haewon for a little chat, before you moved in with Jaehyun, she would always come over and spend time with you. You missed her dearly, she was the crazy friend that always gave you a good time, but this time you wanted to talk seriously with her. You expressed to Haewon your concerns about letting your guards down and opening up to Jaehyun. She always knew you were guarded and always did her best to make you feel comfortable, but she felt like if you never let your walls down, there was going to be no one waiting for you. You huffed when she said that, all you wanted was to find someone for yourself… but maybe that person is you. 
“Well, I’m going to head to bed. You probably have a busy work schedule too, so go to bed, I’ll talk to you later. Love you.” Haewon bid. 
“You have no idea. Goodnight, love you,” you hung up the phone and threw yourself on the bed. It’s not like you can blame your parents for putting you in this position, this is all they know, they were put in this situation, and so were your grandparents. To be honest, it felt like a family curse.
When you woke up the next morning, Jaehyun had already left for work. Breakfast was stored and as you reheated it, you scrolled through your emails. The Designing Department had already sent digital images of rough drafts for the upcoming Spring-Summer collection. The designs didn’t look right, so you figured you’d have to go to their department today. You exhaled in annoyance, going down there meant that you weren’t able to work on the files, which means that everything you hoped to finish was going to be put back. 
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“Morning sweetie,” your mother greeted from her desk. 
“Good morning mother, I have to go down to the Designing Department for a bit today, have my assistant call me if I'm needed.” you quickly set your bag and made your way.
You double-check your notes, making sure everything was ordered and organized. As the upcoming CEO, you had to have your life together. As the elevator doors open, you stride to the open doors that hold one of the most important assets of the company. 
“Good morning, Ms. y/l/n.” everyone greeted you. 
“Yes, good morning, everyone. Today we have a busy day, I went over the files that were sent to me and some adjustments need to be made. That being said, I want to work with the design processors first, we’ll get all of the designs done for the prototyping to begin today. Everyone, get to work!” You commanded, everyone dispersing into their job. 
You walked over to where the processors were, they were in charge of designing the outfits. The colors, patterns, print, and proportion were all done by them. Several of them had their head buried in their desk, Park Chaeyoung. There she was, sitting in her desk, solely focused on her designs. Her head perked up once you towered over her. 
“I heard you’re very good at designing-” you nodded at her drawings, “-may I take a look?”
“O-oh! Of course,” she handed you her stack of papers. 
You quickly scanned her sketches, her lines were delicately drawn with preciseness and the patterns complimented the outfit, she unexpectedly met your expectations. One thing that bothered you was that the colors didn’t harmonize well together, instead, they clashed. Nonetheless, you were still impressed. 
“They’re not bad,” you sighed, handing them back, “but I advise you not to play with the colors too much. The designs are very well drawn, but the colors clash too much. It makes it hard on the eye.” you advised her. 
“Yes, Ms. Y/l/n, thank you for the advice.” Chaeyoung bowed her head. 
You smiled back before drawing your attention to the rest of the team members. You went to each of them, making sure the designs were well correlated with the collection. You made sure to speak with every designer and ensure that everything corresponded. Every fabric, texture, detail, and sampling had to be perfect, there was no room to mess up. 
By lunchtime, you weren’t as close to finishing as you wanted to be, but you can tell that you lacked effort from the designing team. You huffed in annoyance, “alright, everyone, thirty-minute lunch, please. Be back as soon as possible!” you demanded. 
As you let the entire team to lunch, you sat and scanned over the designs again, ensuring everything was perfect enough to move on. You wrote corrections and notes here and there, so the processors knew what to revise and change.
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Jaehyun sat in his office chair, fixated on the papers in front of him, his hair tousled, and his tie slightly loosened. Going over the accounting finances were a pain in the ass, he had to make sure everything was correct, and so far, they weren’t. The debits and credits were mixed up, even an elementary student could’ve figured it out. It wasn’t even better that he was meeting up with Chaeyoung at her place tonight. Jaehyun was going to clear things up with her and for once, he felt like he was doing the right thing. 
Back at Audace, as soon as the department was back, it was time to get to work. You gave the processors a few minutes before beginning the prototyping process. Not only was designing hard but so was sewing. Everything had to fit together, the fabric needed to be embedded, and it had to be the fabric that the outfit was designed for.  You glide the folded textile through the sewing machine, yarn connecting it into one. As you put the finished textile on the mannequin, you heard someone scolding. You turned your head to see the head department, Jieun, lecturing Chaeyoung as she held her head low. You walked over, hoping to alleviate the tension. 
“You should know better! Even if Ms. Y/l/n gives you thirty minutes, you only have twenty minutes! We are launching our Spring-Summer collection. We don’t have time to be flexible, we don’t even have time for lun-”
“Everything alright here Jieun?” You raised a brow. 
“Y-yes,-” she bowed, “-everything is okay.”
“Then let’s get back to work, we have a lot to do.” 
You led the Designing Department through the whole process in making the outfits. Textiles were sewn, fabrics were slipped on the mannequin, and outfits were completed. You sighed after completing a few, the department still had a few more to go and it was almost the end of everyone’s shift. Your fingers flowed through the silky fabrics of one of the blouses you put together, you were putting your whole heart and soul into this collection, you had to impress society that you were made to be the next CEO. A ring from your phone suddenly distracted you from your thoughts. 
“Hello?” 
“Hey y/n,” it was Jaehyun. 
“Hi, is everything okay?” It wasn’t usual for him to call you at all.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m just letting you know that I won’t be home until later tonight,” he said. 
“Oh, ok-” you paused, “-do you want me to leave you some dinner?” 
“No, that’s okay. I know you’re busy with work, just get some sleep when you get home. I’ll eat when I’m done.” Jaehyun said. 
“Okay,” you bid him goodbye and hung up the phone. 
You could hear the fatigue and stress in his voice. Maybe he’s busy at work, hopefully, he gets some sleep. You didn’t want to meet an angry Jaehyun again. You eluded your thoughts and got back to work, you figured that you’d be working overtime also, so you did your best to rush with preciseness. 
Jaehyun cleaned his desk, he grabbed his bag, ready to leave for Chaeyoung place. He hadn’t figured out what he was going to say to her, but he had a clear idea. 
“Goodnight Mr. Jung,” his employees bowed as he passed them. 
Once Jaehyun was driving on the road, his mind strayed to you. He wondered if you were okay at work, if you had a lot, and if you were taking breaks often. Jaehyun didn’t exactly know you, but he knew how stubborn you were, especially when it comes to work. You liked to plow through the work, you liked to get things done. Jaehyun sighed as his palms tightened on the steering wheel, he was nervous to talk to Chaeyoung. So many ‘what if’ scenarios flashed through his mind.
When Jaehyun pulled into Chaeyoung's parking lot, he felt his palm sweat. Uneasiness settled in his bones, he didn’t want to break her heart, he didn’t want to break the woman he loves. He’s already broken you, he didn’t want to break another, especially Chaeyoung. Jaehyun timidly walked up to her door, quietly knocking on it, hoping that the hush of it was heard. 
“Jaehyun!” she pulled him in for a hug, shutting the door behind him. 
“Hey,” Jaehyun gently pulled her away, “we need to talk.” 
Chaeyoung pulled him to her couch, she sat and grasped his hand sensing the seriousness, “Is everything okay?” 
“I-” Jaehyun rubbed his face, hoping it’d release some of the tension behind his expression, “-we need to stop.” 
“What do you mean?” Chaeyoung’s voice quieted. 
“This,” he pointed back and forth between them, “we need to end this.” 
“W-why? Did I do something wrong?” Her voice weakened.
Silence drapes the room as Jaehyun sits across Chaeyoung. He knows he has to tell her the truth, that’s what she deserves, but her reaction made Jaehyun anxious. Would she hate me? What if she never wants to see me ever again? He couldn’t afford to lose her, but at the same time, the guilt ate him alive every time the image of you flashed in his head. 
Jaehyun tangled his fingers through his hair. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he exhales, “I’m engaged to someone.” 
“What?” Chaeyoung’s eyes widen, “who?”
There was a long pause before Jaehyun can speak up, “Y/l/n Y/n,” he lowers his gaze at his fiddling hands. 
“My boss? You’re engaged to my boss?” Chaeyoung stood up appalled. 
“Please sit,” he begged. 
She yanked her hand from his, “How? Why? Since when?” 
“Since a while ago, we won’t be getting married until the summer. It’s for business, but honestly, I just don’t think my dad wants me to marry you,” he quietly scoffed, “Jung Corporation is a joint company with Audace.” 
Chaeyoung’s head falls into the palm of her hand, “I hate you. How could you do this to me? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” 
“Because I wanted to be with you! But I’ve treated y/n like shit and now...I want to try this with her,” Jaehyun whispered the last part. 
Chaeyoung sits in silence, before she releases a long-awaited sigh, “Please go,” she points to the door. 
“Ch-Chaeyoung, please,” he pleaded. 
“Get out, Jaehyun!” 
So as much as Jaehyun wanted to stay he knew he had no choice but to leave, he knew that you were probably waiting at home for him. This is now over and he knows that it’s time to focus on fixing this up with you, but he can’t help but feel the pain in his chest. For such a long time, he’s waited for Chaeyoung to come back from the states and start a life with him. Of course, things never work out for him. 
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Before he drove home, Jaehyun drove to the edge of a cliff. The twinkling lights that lit the city helped him overlook his problems, it helps remind him his problems were only small. Jaehyun rested his head on the steering wheel, a choked cry came out, which grew into sobs about everything he’s done. Jaehyun wanted out, he didn’t want to be put through this, not anymore, but thought of you always reminded him that he wanted to be better. Even though he had you, his heart hurt for Chaeyoung, the memory of her crying, pointing out the door, telling him that she hated him would resonate in his mind. 
When you got home, Jaehyun hadn’t made it back yet, usually, he’d be home around 5 if he was ever late. You shrugged it off, making your way to the kitchen making dinner, and turning on some music. You were making your favorite dish, pad thai. Hopefully, Jaehyun liked it too because you were going to pack a little for him. 
The rice noodles that sauteed with the sauce and vegetables filled the kitchen with a delectable aroma. You set yourself a plate and a container for Jaehyun, leaving it uncapped to cool down. You sat by the table, munching on your dinner as you scrolled through your phone. You replied to text messages and emails that required your approval. 
“Maybe I should just stay later,” you sighed. Since you spent the day in the Designing Department, you didn’t get the chance to work on any other department files. You rubbed your temples in frustration, you were going to have to bring them home. You were never fond of bringing work home, you cherished the moment you had after work because it was your time to relax and be at peace. Work was work and whatever work you had you left it in your office until the next day, but everything was so demanding now. 
You didn’t want to think about it anymore, you set your phone down to enjoy the food in front of you, but you shortly heard the door open and a tired Jaehyun walked in. His hair was tousled, his tie was loose, and a couple of buttons were undone. His eyes held dark bags and were stained red, was he crying? Jaehyun looked at you curiously, to him, you looked overworked, considering you were still in your work clothes. 
“I just got home,” you answered, it was like you read his mind, “I made some pad thai and packed it in the fridge, just give me a second-” you got up from your chair, making your way to the fridge, “-I’ll heat this up for you.” 
“O-oh, you don’t have to. I can do that, just come finish your food.” Jaehyun stuttered. 
“It’s okay,” you already had the pad thai on a plate and placed it in the microwave.
You set the warm food in front of Jaehyun who seated himself beside your chair. You watched him from the corner of your eye, you wanted to see his reaction. 
“This is really good,” his eyes widened. 
“You like it?” you asked. 
“Yes, what is this?” Jaehyun asked, taking another bite. 
“Pad thai,” you replied, “when I was younger, my family and I would often take trips to Thailand. One of the chefs taught me how to make it since I like it so much.” 
Jaehyun nodded, continuing to eat as you quietly sat and finished yours. You offered to clean up and let him get ready for bed, but he was persistent in doing the cleaning, so you let him. You walked up to your room to get ready to shower, hoping that the hot water would release the tension in your shoulders. As it did, you couldn’t help but feel unsettled, you were typically good at giving people the cold shoulder, especially to Jaehyun, so why were you suddenly being considerate of him? You dug into your subconscious to see where your feelings were with him. You convinced yourself it was going to take time to forgive him, but your actions already said that you did. Colliding with your thoughts, you didn’t know who to listen to. 
It was late and you wanted to leave for work early in the morning, but as you laid in bed, you couldn’t stop shuffling in your sheets. Your body was physically drained, but your mind was everywhere. Why did he come home late? Was he crying? Your brows furrowed. You remembered how he looked at you when he came in, for a split second you thought you saw heartbreak and regret in his eyes. Maybe he went to go talk to Chaeyoung. You sighed. Only your thoughts of tomorrow could confirm it. 
So there you were, 5am, sitting in your office going through the files. With your tea beside you, the shuffling of papers swayed the steam coming from the cup, almost cooling it down. 
By the time your mother came in, you had finished the Marketing Department’s files. “You’re here early. When did you come?” Your mother set her bag on her desk. 
“5,” you said, grabbing the files leaving the office. 
You stood alone in the elevator, employees coming and going. On the 5th floor, Chaeyoung stood wide-eyed as the doors opened to the sight of you. She bowed and quickly came in, standing a few feet from you, you saw how she tightly held onto the files in her hands. You figured she had to drop some paperwork off at another apartment, but your assumptions stood true, Chaeyoung’s eyes were swollen, bags shadowed beneath her eyes. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days, even though you saw her yesterday. 
The two of you stood silent until the 4th floor was met, you nodded to her and left for the Marketing Department. On your stroll there, you could hear whispers occurring as you passed by. The Marketing Department was notorious for gossiping, they knew many of the present trends and updated buzz. Usually, they spoke about you, but a familiar name was called and you slightly stiffened. 
“Did you see the pictures of Jaehyun at the after-party?” one of them said. 
“No, show me!” another begged.
“They’re blurry, but isn’t he handsome???” the girl gawked. 
“Who’s that girl he’s carrying?” another asked, frustration glazing her question. 
“I’m not sure, but I’ll figure it out. I always do,” the girl chuckled. 
Your eyes widened as you realized that girl they were referring to was you. You quicken your strides to the head office, you quickly drop it off to make your way back to your office, avoiding the girls. You panted as you fell into your chair, you weren’t aware that you were holding your breath through all of that. 
“Are you okay?” Your mother noticed your thwarted expression. 
“Yeah,” you sighed, getting back to work. 
As you worked on your files, you lost track of time as your focus was solely on completing them. Your mind was distracted the second your secretary stood in front of your desk. 
“Can I help you?” You asked, your focus not leaving the papers in front of you. 
“Ms. y/l/n, someone is here for you.” She said. 
“Unless they have an appointment, I don’t have time to talk.” 
“M-Ms. y/l/n,” your secretary hesitated, “it’s Mr. Jung.”
You sighed, looking at the clock. You hadn’t realized it was already noon. Why is Jaehyun here? “Let him in.” 
Your gaze avoided the door to your office, you didn’t want him to think you were waiting for him. When Jaehyun walked in, he was dressed in a dark grey suit, his tie well done, his hair slicked back, he looked rather composed, unlike last night. 
“Hi, I hope you’re not too busy,” Jaehyun walked up to your desk, you could smell the cologne he always wore. It held a clean, wood, and rich scent like it was made solely for him. 
“Just a little bit, is everything okay?” You quietly asked. 
“Yeah,” he sat down in one of the seats in front of you, “I was wondering if you have time for lunch.” He enjoyed the moment last night as you two ate, so he wanted to have lunch with you today. 
Oh...Your eyes slightly widen, you didn’t know if you were excited or surprised. “I have time,” you nodded. 
“Great, I don’t know what you like so I just brought some kimbap that I made,” Jaehyun’s lips pressed together. 
“That’s okay, I like it.” You reached to grab one and popped it in your mouth.
Before you could grab another, your mother marched in, “Honey, I’m ba-OH! Mr. Jung, I wasn’t aware you were coming. I’ll leave you two be.” she quickly ran out. 
“No, mother it’s okay!” You begged, anticipating the awkward tension between you two, but she was quick to leave. “Sorry about that,” you commented, lowering back into your seat. 
“That’s okay,” Jaehyun chuckled, you saw those dimples and his whiskers again, it sent jitters to your spine. “What are you working on?” he nodded at the papers in front of you.
“Um-” you looked at your files, “-just approving the departments’ files. We’re coming out with a new Spring-Summer collection, so they need my approval for several things.” 
“That’s a lot. When do they need it?” 
“By the end of the week, I usually finish by Thursday but it looks like I’m going to have to bring some home so I can just finish on time,” your smile fell when you realized who was standing at the door. 
Jaehyun picked up on your expression and turned around in his seat, “Ch-Chaeyoung.” 
It felt as if time had slowed down, the three of you stood still in your places. None of you said a word and let the unsettling feeling resonate in each other’s bones. The silence blanketed the room and brought tension between everyone. 
You held your breath before speaking up, “What is it Chaeyoung?” you asked.
“Your secretary wasn’t at her desk and I needed to drop these off as soon as possible, they need your approval.” She walked towards your desk and gently set them on your desk. 
You thank her as she bows and leaves, Jaehyun’s gaze never leaving her figure. You felt your stomach lightly drop, was it the kimbap? Or were you flustered, hot, and maybe a little jealous? Nope. 
You cleared your throat, earning Jaehyun’s attention, “I’m full and I have a lot to do, so I’ll see you at home.” you said, this was a way of forcing him out of your office. 
“Y/n,” Jaehyun’s head fell to the side.
“I don’t want to know Jaehyun. Whatever you have with her is your issue,” you opened the doors to your office, “please leave.” you did your best at keeping your composure together. 
“Y/n, I ended things with her.” Jaehyun’s palms fell in front of you in reason. 
“Please, Jaehyun,” you gulped, “go.” 
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