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#steve rogers incorrect quotes
bisexual-etherian · 5 hours ago
Normal Steve Rogers: Together till the end of the line
Endgame Steve Rogers: HOES BEFORE BROS BITCHES I’M OUT OF HERE *turns into Joe Biden*
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Tony: You know what they say, a little childhood trauma builds character
Steve: Who has ever said that?
Tony: Me
Tony: Just now
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judge: how do you plead?
bucky: *looks at steve*
steve, mouthing: "not guilty"
bucky: hot milky
steve: just lock him up
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bionic-staring-machine · 12 days ago
steve: *enters a room*
patriotism: *intensifies*
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Bucky: *Hugs Steve from behind*
Bucky: *Softly tucks Steve’s hair behind his ear*
Bucky, whispering: Eat all the plums again and we’re fucking done.
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coollemonsaresour · 15 days ago
The Breakfast club
 *Y/n,Peter, Wanda, and Pietro walks into kitchen talking, and sit at the island*  
Steve turns around wearing an apron: Mornin kids, what do you want for breakfast?  
Wanda: can we get some cooked chicken fetuses, with...  
Pietro: some cow juice  that has been acidification, coagulation, separating curds and whey, salting, shaping, and ripening.
Peter: with some of Peppa’s scraps.
Y/n: Raw toast and some Citrus sinensis piss.  
Steve: W-what  
Nat who walks in to her kitchen staring at her phone: eggs, *points to Wanda, still looking at her phone* Chess, *points to Pietro* Bacon, *points to Peter* Bread and orange juice * she points to you, looking up from her phone, with a smirk of question.  
Nat: To sum it up for you, they want breakfast sandwiches. 
Steve looks at the four: I am Confusion  
Everybody: Gasp
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Steve: I have an idea! But it’s kinda crazy
Tony: I love crazy ideas. Crazy ideas made me rich.
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monlieudevie · 18 days ago
Request: @alphaandromedae97
*Movie night*
Y/N: *Entering the living room* What film are we g-? 
*Pretty explicit pornographic scenes are on TV*
Steve: *Slamming the TV remote* This isn't-?
Tony: *Stepping into the living room* Wow, Cap, I see you've adapted wonderfully to this era.
Y/N: Yeah... thanks for ruining what innocence I had left.
Tony: Did you still have that?
Steve: Can you guys shut up and help me turn this off? 
Tony: Alright, Jarvis can you turn that off and save it to Steve's private playlist?
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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Steve: Shit.
Bucky: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Nat: Sam fell off.
Steve: And you didn’t bother to tell me?
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