#steve rogers x bucky barnes
As We Grow: "ALN" Story (Pre-Serum Omega!Steve and Alpha!Bucky Domestic AU)
One Hundred and Eight:
Steve was so proud that he almost forgot that he and Bucky were meant to give their own speeches. Hands shaking, Steve sat Bitsy in his seat and held Bucky's hand on the way up to the platform. Accepting the soothing squeezes all the way down the aisle until they reached the podium.
Still holding hands, Bucky kissed Oliver's forehead and said into his ear, "I love you. You did good, squirt."
Blushing, Oliver muttered, "Thanks."
Giving Oliver's shoulder a squeeze, Bucky moved to the microphone. As Steve slung his arm around Oliver's shoulders, Bucky joked, "I don't know how I'm going to follow that."
The audience laughed at that and Bucky smoothed out his paper. Giving their guests a classic smirk as he started, "Today, mine and Stevie's son, Oliver, is a young man.
"Which I guess makes my mate right," Bucky glanced over his shoulder to wink at Steve before finishing, "I'm old. I guess I can retire now, huh? Maybe even let Oliver take my place down at the shop."
Teasing, Bucky ruffled Oliver's hair and looked over to Winnie and George, "How does that sound mom and dad?"
Steve rolled his eyes and Winnie joked, "He can take my job!"
"Well, then," Bucky chuckled and asked, "How does that sound, Ollie?"
Unamused, Oliver shook his head and hid his face. Chuckling, Bucky said, "Alright, alright. I guess I can wait a couple more years."
As the audience stopped chuckling, Bucky started again, "Over the past thirteen years, I've had the honor of, not only watching Oliver grow, but growing with him."
Pulling another tissue from his pocket, Steve sniffled. Holding Oliver closer while tears fell down his cheeks. He was probably embarrassing the boy, but Steve couldn't help it.
"Guiding him the way that my parents had guided me and my sisters. Lucky enough to view the world through new eyes and experience all the firsts with him." Bucky sniffled and Steve passed him a tissue, earning an affectionate grin in return. "First smile, first steps, first fight. And while I probably could've done without that, I can't help but be proud of Oliver. He stands for what's right. He fights for what's right."
Wiping his tears, Bucky continued, "You're probably all thinking that, of course, I think that Oliver's great, I'm his dad. And while I do think that Ollie's just about the greatest kid, I'm not the only one.
"He's the best big brother that any kid could ask for -- just ask his siblings," from their seats, the little kids cheered and while Steve wished that they weren't standing on the bench, he couldn't help but adore how they celebrated their older brother.
"But he's also a good friend who has their backs no matter what," and on cue, the young teens cheered, thankfully, while sitting. Leaning closer to the microphone, Bucky pointedly gave an example, "Even covering for them when they break a picture frame because they were playing soccer in the house even though they know better than that."
Knowing exactly who he was talking about, Steve glanced over to see Tony seemingly trying to disappear in his seat. Howard beside him, gave his son a look.
"So, it's only natural for him to be a good son." Bucky's voice cracked and he cleared his throat, "And just like his papa, he'll be a good man, too."
Steve's breath hitched as he held back a sob and hugged Oliver to himself, kissing his forehead. All the while, Bucky finished, "We love you, Oliver. And we can't wait to see how you continue to grow."
Letting go of him, Steve encouraged Oliver to hug Bucky. Not that it took much convincing either way considering Oliver was already halfway to his dad anyway. Steve smiled as he watched the pair and wiped at his face.
Then, it was his turn.
Taking his place at the podium, Steve pulled out his notecards. Still feeling the emotion thick in his throat, he took a moment to try and clear it. Bucky must've felt something through the bond because he rubbed Steve's back in soothing circles. Only then was Steve able to start.
"I just want to start by reminding Oliver that your dad and I are so proud of you," fondly smiling at the thirteen year old, "Not just today, but every day."
Facing the front, Steve redirected his attention to his messy handwriting and the tearstained notecard. "Thirteen years ago, my life changed in ways I could never imagine. You made me a father. But more than that, you opened my heart.
"Because --" voice cracking, Steve took a moment to just breathe "-- because of you, I stopped self-sabotaging myself enough to, not only accept love, but to give it too. I guess that's just the effect that you have on people.
"You're smart and funny, and so caring that anyone would be lucky to know you," Steve honestly complimented. "Not just a great teammate, but an inspiring leader. Empowering everyone around you and being the best big brother that any kid could ask for."
Oliver clenched his jaw as though he was trying to stop himself from crying, and Steve reached out to affectionately caress along his jaw. Allowing himself this sweet moment before getting back to his speech.
"I remember back when it was just you and Finn, you would go to his nursery when he would cry in the middle of the night and assure him that there were no, 'monsers,' around and that he was safe." The older members awed at the story and Steve fondly remembered, "Then, you would sit in the rocker with me as I fed him and mark over his foot or kiss his forehead. Just letting him know that you were there. That you would protect him. Just as you would protect all of your siblings."
Knowing what came next, tears already prickled at the corner of his eyes, "And when we lost Flora, you weren't even old enough to fully understand, but you suggested that we bury her with her blanky so she wouldn't get scared. So she wouldn't be alone.
"Not just with your siblings though," Steve sniffled. "You protect anyone and everyone that needs it. The way you stand up for what's right makes me so unbelievably proud." Turning so he was facing Oliver instead of the crowd, but still speaking into the microphone, "You're a good boy, Ollie. A good man. And I'm so glad that I get to be your papa."
TAG LIST: @t3a-bag
The Past. Chapter 1. Part 1
Peter got to the tower only by 5am. Stark is going to be super pissed. But anyway, Parker said goodbye to Karen and went to the private bathroom near his room.
What can be better than having a shower in the morning? Peter has the answer. Having a shower after the night patrol without getting any serious injuries. He's used to bruises and little cuts anyway. It's been difficult 2 years.
'I'm alright now' reminded Peter to himself as he was getting under the water streams.
He did quite well, Spiderman. He prevented a robbery of a house, saved 2 cars from getting in an accident and tested developed web that is 3 times stronger. It helped him to stop the cars.
After the warm shower he changed the water temperature so it's colder, to wake himself up. Fortunately, it worked.
He got from the bathroom and was standing with a towel on his waist in front of the cupboard in search of something to wear. Peter was actually really thankful to Tony for some of the clothes. The moving was pretty spontaneous. May is in Canada right now. She finally got a raise! Peter was so happy and he didn't want her to waste her chance, and neither Tony wanted her to do it so he offered Peter to live with him in the tower. Peter is there pretty much every day anyway so why should he spend his time getting there? Moreover, Tony wouldnt feel so lonely. Living in the tower for 2 years alone is difficult...
2 notes · View notes
I’ve decided to also take requests for:
Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier
For now, this is it but send me whatever requests you can and I’ll do my best to write them if I know the characters or actors🥰💋
8 notes · View notes
I’m gonna be starting a taglist for my current series: Love & Other Desires.
Lemme know if you wanna be tagged by commenting here💖💖💖.
You can also be tagged in my permanent taglist if you want!!!!!
This’ll be the main masterlist for my page. All my finished and ongoing works along with requests will be found here.
1. Love & Other Desires: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader
Chapter 2 - Coming Soon
1. It's Always Been You - Bucky Barnes x Reader
2. Worth It - Sebastian Stan x Reader
3. Malibu: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Part 4 (Final)
4. Spicy As Fuck - Bucky Barnes x Reader
12 notes · View notes
be a dear and drop fic recs into my inbox. am rotting away rn, just wanna go off with a bang
5 notes · View notes
You guys I wanna talk to yall more :/ let's talk yeah?? Send me asks if you have a question about me or something <3
Love love love, Athena
1 note · View note
please send me bucky barnes stories (no smut tho pls) i NEED them
1 note · View note
As We Grow: "ALN" Story (Pre-Serum Omega!Steve and Alpha!Bucky Domestic AU)
One Hundred and Seven:
"Mr. Barnes," Rabbi Isaiah Bradley greeted Bucky first since he entered first. As the older man smiled down at the kids, he noticed Steve and greeted, "Mr. Barnes."
"Rabbi," Steve acknowledged, his voice still rough from the emotion.
Empathetically, Rabbi Bradley smiled at Steve before greeting more people. Steve exhaled deeply and followed Bucky for their seats. Thankfully, the other Barneses were there. George crying already along with Winnie. Of course, that was how they had been at each of their grandchildren's Torah readings.
But it did make Steve feel a little better to know that he wasn't the only emotional one.
Sitting down beside Tibby, Steve accepted a tissue from her and reached out for Bucky's hand when the alpha took a seat on his other side. Instantly, tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. Especially once the congregation started. Steve couldn't focus on a damn thing. All he could think about was how any minute now, Oliver would be called up to the bimah where he would then read the portion of the Torah he had been practicing for the past year. And then Oliver would be considered a man.
Rabbi Bradley looked over to their aisle where Oliver was standing from his seat, and so was Bucky. Sniffling, Bucky removed the prayer shawl from its bag. Unfolding the lightweight wool garment, Bucky draped it over Oliver's broadening shoulders. Making sure that it hung correcting with the metallic green and silver stripes facing outward, Bucky leaned in and kissed Oliver's forehead.
Steve pressed his lips together to keep them from quivering and to keep the sob contained as he watched Oliver head for the podium. He looked so grown up in his tan suit and green tie. Handsome just like his daddy and as tall as his papa already.
Returning to his seat, Bucky sniffled again and reached out for Steve's hand. Steve's breath caught as he tried to keep his sob from escaping. All he could do was squeeze his husband's hand and feel the pride, affection, and hope through the bond. And while Steve had picked up some Hebrew over the last thirteen years, he couldn't concentrate on any of it. All he could focus on was how confident Oliver was up there on the bimah as he melodically read the Torah.
"'Veshamarte et-hamitsvah ve'et-hachukim ve'et-hamishpatim asher anochi metsavecha hayom la'asotam,'" Oliver finished. Steve only knew that he was done because the thirteen year old glanced up Rabbi Bradley.
The older man nodded at Oliver before finishing with the haftarah, himself. While Rabbi Bradley did so, Oliver noticed his friends in the crowd and waved at them. Rolling his eyes, Steve sighed and hoped their older relatives understood that Oliver was still so much a boy. Beside him, however, Bucky disguised his chuckling with a cough, because he was still so much a boy, too; even in his mid-forties.
Climbing onto Steve's lap, Bitsy buried her face in his neck and complained, "Is it over, yet?"
"Shh," Steve quieted and sniffled before rubbing her back and reassured, "Almost, honey."
"I'm hungry," Kit declared while Oliver stepped down from the bimah holding the Torah.
"We'll eat soon," Bucky promised as he stood along with everyone else.
As was tradition, Oliver carried the Torah around as people touched it. Even Bucky reached out to touch it. However, Steve was afraid that Oliver would drop the Torah since it was so large. Thankfully, Oliver didn't, and he handed it back to Rabbi Bradley with nothing happening to it.
Returning to the podium, Oliver pulled a piece of folded notebook paper from his suit jacket pocket. Keeping his gaze on the paper as he smoothed it out instead of on the audience who were sitting once more.
Clearing his throat, Oliver started, "Thank you, everyone, for coming here to join my family and myself this morning to witness me becoming a man."
Steve gripped Bucky's hand tighter and exhaled in relief when Bucky brought their hands up to kiss the back of Steve's. Steve eased and when Oliver made eye contact with him, Steve made sure to smile. Silently reassuring their son that he could do this.
"For two years, I've been practicing and preparing myself for this day. Molding myself and carving out my place in our community. A community filled with the children and children's children of those who Moses led to the promised land.
"And while Moses never got to enter the promised land, he gave advice to those who would." Fidgeting, Oliver pushed his tousled brown hair away from his face, "Leaving them with a verse that had me mulling over it ever since I read it. Essentially, he told them, 'You shall do that which is right and good in the eyes of God.'"
Sniffling, Steve kissed Bitsy's head. Steve had been there every day of Oliver's life and was always fascinated with what was going on inside his head. But this was different. Although he was only thirteen, the way Oliver carried himself up there at the podium, was so mature that he seemed older.
"My whole life, my pops has been telling me that I'm a good boy and showing me how to stand up for what's right." Oliver's freckled cheeks reddened and he smiled over at Steve and Bucky. Looking back at his speech, he continued, "So, when I read that, I couldn't help but think over all the times where I tried to do just that. To do right and to be good.
"And I think that's what it means to be a man," Oliver stood a little taller. Completely sure of himself in that moment and, damn, Steve was so proud of him. Considering the pride flowing through the bond, he knew that he wasn't the only one.
Bucky squeezed Steve's hand while Oliver finished, "Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move. It's your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye and say, 'No, you move.'"
With that, Rhodey and Tony stood to give him a standing ovation. Which, admittedly, was well deserved as Steve and Bucky stood too. And soon, everyone was standing, applauding Oliver. And Steve was so damn proud.
TAG LIST: @t3a-bag
2 notes · View notes
AO3 | wattpad
u and us - one shot
hey stephen - one shot
2 notes · View notes
hey stephen - steve rogers x reader
You've been friends with Steve since you were 12, but you've been in love with him since you were 18. Of course he has no idea, there's been so many other girls who haven't been afraid to tell him how they feel. One night something changes, and you finally tell him everything you've been holding back. Inspired by the song Hey Stephen by Taylor Swift.
pairing: steve rogers x reader
tags: friends to lovers, love confessions during an argument, jealous! reader
characters: steve rogers, natasha romanoff, peggy rogers, bucky barnes
notes: note: also posted on AO3 and wattpad (both have this username) if you prefer to read them there! this is part of a series of one shots based on songs with character x reader. AO3 and wattpad will have them all posted together, but will be posted separately on here. if you have a request for a song and/or character, let me know! most will be sam wilson x reader, steve rogers x reader and bucky barnes x reader
As we walked, we were talking, and I didn't say half the things I wanted to.
You and Steve were walking back to your apartment from the movie theater a few blocks away. It had become a tradition for you guys to see a movie every Friday since you were old enough to go alone. It was your turn to pick, and you went with the newest romcom knowing he would complain about it.
"They're just so cliché, not to mention unrealistic," he complained. "Everyone loves a good cliché!" Your situation couldn't be more of one; friends from a young age, then realizing you've been in love with them the whole time. Then you spend too much time wondering if they could possibly feel the same, but too scared to say anything, scared to ruin years of friendship.
"You don't get tired of watching the same plot over and over again?" You shook your head, "I love romance. It's nice imagining yourself in the character's situation." Not that you needed to imagine anything. "For someone who's such a hopeless romantic, you're not very experienced in it," he rudely pointed out.
Because I'm waiting for you. "Thanks for the reminder," you scoffed, "not all of us have a million people lined up to date them," you added. "What can I say? I'm just so handsome." You bit your lip to stop yourself from saying something you'd regret. "Keep telling yourself that." His phone started ringing and you saw the name 'Peggy' on the screen.
"Sorry, give me a sec." He stepped away to answer. Steve had mentioned her before, he was telling Bucky about her one night while drunk. It didn't seem too serious, but they sure talked and hung out a lot. "Sorry about that," he apologized again. "Who was that?" You asked like you didn't know. "Peggy. She wants me to come over."
Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window, I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold.
"Oh. You can go now if you want, I can walk the rest of the way." You tried to not to sound as upset as you were. "You sure?" You nodded and did your best fake smile. "You're the best. I'll see you later." His smile as he walked the opposite way killed you. But how could you be upset if you couldn't even tell him how you feel? The only person who knows is Nat and you hadn't even meant to tell her.
"Really? You and Steve?" Nat had asked. You may or may not have had too much to drink on your night out with her when you told her. "Yeah. Please don't say anything though, he doesn't know," you had begged. "Why not go for it? I get the vibe he likes you too, and not just as a friend." You knew she was just saying that to make you feel better, but it didn't work.
You opened the door to your apartment and immediately went to sulk in your room. "How was the date?" Nat teased. "Great if you ignore the fact he's going to Peggy's right now." Her smile faded and she sat next to you. "Oh shit, I'm sorry." "Don't be. She called and invited him over. I knew he wanted to go, so I said I'd walk the rest of the way alone," you shrugged.
"You've got to stop doing this to yourself," she sighed. "Doing what?" "Getting yourself into these situations. He wasn't going to go if you hadn't said that, I know he usually comes here after the movies. I know you're scared to say anything to him, but it's not good for you to sacrifice your happiness for his." She had a point, but what kind of friend would you be if you got in the way of his relationships?
"I can't get in the way of his relationships because I'm a coward, that's not fair. Even if he wouldn't have gone tonight, he would've another night. I just have to live with it." You've managed to for a while now, but that doesn't make it any easier. "You're a really good friend to him." And sadly that's all you'll ever be.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You didn't see Steve again until Monday. He met you at your favorite food truck near his apartment for dinner. "How was your weekend?" He asked. "Good, a little boring. Nat and I spent of it watching bad movies and making fun of them. What about yours?" "Great. Peggy and I went into the city and did some touristy stuff since she hasn't been there yet."
"Sounds fun." He paid for your food and sat next to you on the bench. "It was." You didn't know what to say so you took a bite of food to avoid talking. "Did Bucky tell you about his party this weekend? He said you and Nat can come. You can meet Peggy too." Great, just the thing you didn't want to do. "We'll be there." You could hear Nat yelling at you to make an excuse as to why you can't go. Steve looked happy though, it would be selfish to ruin that.
When he got up to throw his trash away, the kids playing nearby accidentally kicked the ball straight at his back. You immediately started laughing while the kids kept apologizing. Of course Steve was super sweet about it. "I know that had to hurt, but that was hilarious," you said when he sat back down. "You wouldn't be laughing if it was you," he muttered.
"At least it wasn't in the....y'know." He winced in pain just from the thought of it. "Is there any grass or anything on my shirt?" Steve turned and you wiped some of the dirt off. Just that slight touch had your heart skipping a beat. "There might be a soccer ball shaped bruise there tomorrow." You laughed again when a raindrop hit your face.
"We should go before it starts raining." As if on cue, a downpour started. People scrambled to grab their things and find shelter. Steve grabbed your arm and pulled you towards a store awning across the street. By this point you both were soaked, his shirt was clinging to his skin and you tried not to stare. His wet hair was one of your favorite looks on him.
Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel. Can't help it if I want to kiss you in the rain.
Your mind drifted as you pictured this moment as a romcom. Steve would take you out into the rain and dance with you. He'd spin you around and kiss you as you fell into his arms. Neither of you would care about getting wet, you were just focused on each other. He'd laugh as you splashed puddles at each other and eventually you'd go home and warm up together.
But this was real life. "I got to get home and do something for work. I'll see you this weekend though," Steve said. The rain had died down and the sky was starting to clear up. "Yeah, I'll see you then." And Peggy. He hugged you and you watched as he walked back to his place. You prayed it wouldn't rain on your short walk home, but of course it did.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"I still can't believe you agreed to go to a party knowing Peggy is going," Nat said while you two walked up the stairs to Bucky's apartment. "I know, I'm stupid. Don't remind me." You had been dreading this for almost a week now. "We can still make something up. Say you got sick or something," she suggested. "I'm a bad liar, Steve knows that. I'll just avoid them all night."
Nat sighed and knocked on the door. "There you guys are! Come in," Bucky grinned. "Steve's in the kitchen," he added when he saw you look around. "Let's get a drink," Nat said. You'd need a lot to get through tonight. You followed her into the kitchen and stopped when you saw Steve talking to someone who had to be Peggy. He saw you and motioned for you to come over.
"Y/N! This is Peggy," he was smiling like a little kid on Christmas morning. Peggy turned and smiled at you. Of course she was beautiful and exactly Steve's type. "It's nice to meet you," she said. And she's British? How could you compete with that? "Nice to meet you too." Nat came up and handed you a drink which you finished in seconds.
"Oops, looks like I need more." You could feel their eyes on you as you poured yourself another drink. "You good?" Nat asked. "Yup. Not at all thinking about how Peggy is way prettier than me and British." This was a horrible idea, you should've listened to Nat. Was it too late to make up an excuse to leave? Or would it look weird now that Steve introduced you and Peggy?
"Let's go sit outside, or anywhere that they aren't." You followed her to the couch and noticed how she was blocking your view into the kitchen. "It's not too late to leave," she said. "It'll look weird now. Just gotta suck it up like I have for years," you muttered to yourself. "Sorry, I don't want to be a Debby downer tonight." "Then don't. C'mon, let's go talk to Bucky."
You went and found Bucky outside with Peggy and Steve. Of course. "Perfect timing. We're about to play truth or dare," Steve said. This was your least favorite game to play, it has been since middle school. You weren't the best liar, and it was obvious. "I'll start," Nat paused while she chose her victim, "Steve, truth or dare?" He chose truth. "Do you, or have you ever, had a crush on someone in this group?"
You could've killed her. What was she doing, trying to break your heart even more? "Yes, I do," Steve answered. Well, it worked, your heart somehow managed to shatter completely. "Uh, okay. Y/N, truth or dare?" You didn't even hear Steve's question at first. You were too busy trying to think of a reason to go home, not even caring if they knew it was a lie.
"Y/N? Truth or dare?" Steve asked again and Nat nudged you. "Oh, sorry. I guess truth." "Have you ever been in love?" Worried you'd spill your feelings for him if you opened your mouth, you just nodded. "Wait, really? With who? How did I not know?" Steve asked. "If you wanted to know who you should've made that the question," Bucky said.
Thank god he didn't, there's no way you would've answered. "Next round. I can't believe you never told me," he said. You just shrugged and continued the game. You dared Bucky to mix all the alcohol he had and take a shot. He almost threw up and everyone laughed. "Alright Peggy, truth or dare?" Bucky asked. "Truth."
"First impression of Steve." She smiled at him and you wanted to disappear. "Well, I obviously thought he was handsome. I thought he was sweet for buying me a coffee after bumping into me and making me spill mine. I heard New Yorkers are rude, so it was a nice surprise. He made me laugh a lot too. Overall, a great first impression." He was blushing now.
Hey Stephen, I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose. All those other girls, well they're beautiful, but would they write a song for you?
"I need to go home. I don't feel good," you blurted. "What's wrong?" Steve asked. "I uh, drank too much too fast. Feel nauseous." "Let's get you home then. Sorry guys, we'll hang out another night," Nat said. "You can lay in my bed if you want. I think I have some ginger ale for your stomach," Bucky offered. "Thanks, but I'd feel better in my own bed. Don't want to throw up on your carpet," you laughed nervously.
"Well, it was nice meeting you. We'll have to get together again soon," Peggy said. You just gave her a thumbs up and left before Steve called you out on your lie. Once you were outside you took a deep breath. "What was that?" You asked Nat. "What are you talking about?" "Asking Steve if he has a crush on someone here knowing he likes Peggy. Were you trying to hurt my feelings?"
"He was talking about you. I was trying to get you to see he likes you, not her." You rolled your eyes, "Bullshit. You knew what you were doing. I've vented to you how many times, and you pull that?" "Why are you mad at me? I was trying to help." "I don't need your help!" You didn't mean to yell, it just happened. "Fine. Sorry for trying. Let's just go home."
The walk back was silent. You and Nat rarely got mad at each other and you always hated when it happened. Once you were home, you apologized. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled, or accused you of something you weren't doing. Thanks for trying to help, I know hearing me complain is annoying." She hugged you, "I'm sorry for doing that without asking if it was okay. That wasn't cool."
"It's alright. I'm gonna get some sleep, I need it after tonight." You were so relieved to be alone in your bed. The image of Peggy making Steve blush and him saying he has a crush on someone in the group played in your head over and over again. After tossing and turning for an hour, you decided to make some of your favorite tea to help you relax.
Why aren't you here tonight? I'm waiting alone now, so come on and come out.
You wanted Steve to be there, but you don't know what you would say to him. He would ask why you left suddenly and why you lied about it. Telling the truth would ruin everything but lying wasn't an option. Why couldn't things be simple? Why'd you have to fall in love with the best person in your life, who would only see you as his best friend?
A knock on the door made you jump. "Y/N? It's Steve." Your heart was racing as you attempted to tiptoe back to your room. "I can smell the tea, I know you're awake." So much for that. You opened the door, and he came in without an invitation. "Why did you leave like that?" He was upset. "I said I was starting to feel sick." "Don't even try and lie to me."
"I...can't tell you," you said. "Do you not like Peggy?" Of course it was about her. "I barely know her." "That's not an answer." Why was he starting a fight? This is the last thing you wanted. You were angry he was more concerned about her than you. "Honestly? No, I don't." "Why not? Like you said, you barely know her. How can you not like her?"
Hey Stephen, I've been holding back this feeling, so I've got some things to say to you.
“Because I’m in love with you! That’s why I don’t like her. Because you chose her. I know that’s petty, but damn it, Steve. I’ve loved for you so long. When you asked if I’ve ever been in love, I have, I am. But I couldn’t tell you. Is that a good enough answer for you?” You couldn’t tell if you were relieved to finally say it or terrified of his response.
Steve stared at you in disbelief. “She’s just a friend, and she’s in a relationship. You really think I have feelings for her?” “What was I supposed to think? You started spending more time with her, she was gushing about the first time you met, and you said you have a crush on someone who was there tonight.”
“I was talking about you. I love you Y/N. I have since we were kids, before I even really knew what love is. I still remember the first time I saw you. You were the new kid and I saw you eating lunch alone, so I asked if you wanted to sit with me and Bucky. When you smiled at me, I knew I was done for. I knew I wanted to make you smile for the rest of my life.”
Surely this was a dream…right? It couldn’t be real. You’ve thought about this moment every day for the last few years and although this isn’t how you pictured it, you wouldn’t change anything. As you struggled to find the words to say, Steve’s hands were suddenly on your cheeks and his lips were on yours. Once the initial shock wore off, you kissed him the way you’ve wanted to since you were 18.
One hand was tangled in his hair and the other was on his chest. You could feel his heart racing already and it sped up with your touch. His hands were rough with calluses, but his touch was gentle, just like him. He tasted like his favorite mint Chapstick with a hint of cheap beer, but it was perfect.
When he pulled away, you saw him smile that million dollar smile you loved. “Why didn’t we do that sooner?” Steve whispered. “Because we’re idiots.” He kissed you again, this time it was slower and gentler, but the passion was just as strong. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for,” you teased. “We better get started then.”
Come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you. Can’t help it if there’s no one else.
85 notes · View notes
Everything Has Changed: Part 9
The entire room was bright and full of state of the art equipment they would make it possible to test and formulate something that could recreate the properties of marking, to replenish a mated alpha and omega’s connection after the Snap and the Blip. That’s what everyone on this specific team was trying to do. That’s what you were trying to do.
Under the direction of Dr. Banner, the project was well on the way. Your specific job, as you’d focused your entire schooling biology, was to break down the specific strands of DNA that had shifted and changed when a couple marked each other. You would study the specific DNA that had changed, and try to artificially create that change in the lab.
It was your dream job, working under the genius of Dr. Banner. It was your dream to work in a high tech, state of the art lab while trying to make a difference for omega’s who suffered a great loss during the Snap.
“There has to be a connection there previously.” You explained to Steve after he asked about negative connotations surrounding the use of this and how to prevent an alpha from using it on omega who wasn’t willing or knowledgeable. “There has to be a connection between the alpha and the omega or the omega and the beta. This is used for reestablish and fix what the snap and the blip broke and fixed.”
“So,” Bucky asked, “if an omega and an alpha were mated before the Snap, and the alpha or the omega were snapped away and came back during the Blip, this formula would help reestablish and connect the two again?”
“Exactly! It would fix the connection that was there previously. It would replenish it which in turn will increase the health of both parties because-“
“-they’re not whole without their mate.”
“Are you almost done?” Peter‘s voice came from behind you.
“I have to run one more simulation and then I’m done.” You wheeled yourself around, turning your back to the computer. “I thought you had class?”
“I finished early.” He slowly moved around the table, his eyes studying the fragments of DNA behind the glass.
The black eye’s he got from the fight with Steve and Bucky were both healing. They’d gotten to the stage of being yellow and dull which was a good sign for Peter. He had come out that, despite it being two against one, with no real damage other than bruises and minor scrapes and cuts, yet that had been nothing compared to the scolding May had given him.
“What did you want to talk to Dr. Banner about anyway?” You pried, spinning back around to face the computer screen.
“The supressant’s I gave you.” Peter answered coolly. He still hadn’t gotten over the mark on your neck or how you constantly smelled faintly like Bucky. Or the fact that since you’d been marked by Bucky, Steve and himself have been flocking to you.
Peter hadn’t gotten over seeing you pressed against a dark corner with Steve’s lips attached to your neck and your fingers woven into the hair at the back of his neck. Peter hadn’t come to terms with your position as an adult, and an adult who could make her own decisions without consulting her brother.
“Not this again.” You rolled your eyes and sighed.
“They should’ve worked. I just want to know why.” He shrugged and picked up a vial of suspension and then placed it back onto the desk top.
“Maybe they weren’t supressant’s. Did you ask what they were before he gave them to you?” You asked, raising an eyebrow as you turned in your chair and glanced at him.
He looked sheepish. He played with a pen that was sitting beside another computer, rolling the smooth cylinder between his index finger and his thumb, bizarrely interested in its composition.
“You did ask, didn’t you?” You pressed him, and received your answer by his silence.
“They caught your scent from me, when you had hugged me in the diner. I knew they had your scent and I tried to prevent them from marking you.” Peter finally explained, speaking of one of the first afternoon’s you’d spent together before your internship.
“So you gave me supressant’s that might not have been supressant’s?” You asked with a sigh, standing from your desk. You straightened your lab coat and tugged at your t-shirt before you eventually followed Peter out of the venom lab, toward Dr. Banner’s office.
You followed behind him, less curious that he was about the ‘supressants’ that he had given you. He seemed aggressive and persistent about the pills he had given you, as if they could be the answer and the solution to Bucky marking you.
If Peter had his explanation, that could take away from you being marked and mated to them.
But by Peter’s own confession, they were affected by your scent before you had any real interaction with them. By your scent alone, they were drawn in.
It appeared as if supressant’s or not, something would have happened.
When you entered his office, you were quick to sit on the left, tucking your feet under your chair with the toes of your shoes pressed tight against the floor. Peter was to your right, sitting slouched with his legs stretched out and his arms crossed over his chest. There was a sour look on his face, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed.
“Are you pouting?” You watched him from the corner of your eyes.
“No.” Peter denied your question quickly, yet he hadn’t changed his facial expression.
“You wanted to know what pills you had taken.” Dr. Banner started speaking. He was leaning back against his leather desk chair with a pen in his left hand, staring pointedly at Peter.
You tilt your head and leaned toward every so slightly, staring intently at Peter. You shot him a look, your lips twitching as you felt the threat to smirk or smile.
“I’m sorry for taking them from your lab.” Peter apologized and sat up a little further. “But I needed something more potent than-“
“They weren’t supressant’s.” Dr. Banner cut Peter off, a smile made from pure amusement on his face. “The pills you took were along the lines of fertility pills.”
The silence that followed his statement was awkward and long. The news broke, from the horse’s mouth, and that had made Peter shoot up with wide eyes.
“They’re made to be given to omega’s who have difficulty with regular heats. The pills are meant to kick the omega into a heat that is supercharged. Their scents are stronger, their heat themselves are more powerful. The pills should only be used with omega’s who have the intention to mate or have children due to the craze that can come from the heat going unchecked.”
Your laugh came after the shock wore off. It was boisterous and had you near to the point of crying from laughing to hard and so much.
“You gave me-“ you wheezed.
“It’s not that funny!” Peter hissed.
“-sex pills!” You doubled over, your vision blurry and your lungs burning. “You thought you were giving me supressant’s but really you were giving me pills to START my heat!”
Your laughter still hadn’t died out, even after Peter had curses you under your breath. You followed him out of the lab, small giggles leaving your lips.
Peter stalked away from the lab with that pout still on his lips. He moved past you and past the approach of Steve and Bucky, mumbling under his breath.
“What’s so funny?” Steve asked while stopping you from moving too far.
You all but collapsed in his embrace, your giggles dying down to your sharp intake of breath. You placed your hands on Steve’s chest and beamed up at him.
“Irony.” You said. “Peter tried so hard to keep me from you and Bucky, but in doing so, he only pushed me further.”
Steve’s eyebrows knit together and a small look of confusion took place on his handsome, beautiful face.
“I have to get back to work.” You stood on your tippy toes and kissed his cheek before moving to Bucky. “May wants to invite you both to dinner. Saturday night at 7!”
“We’ll be there.” Steve grinned.
“We’ll even bring you Pinot Noir, sweetheart.” Bucky added with a cheeky grin.
You pulled away from them and turned, shuffling back toward the genome lab, shaking your head over Peter’s blunder.
Permanent Tags List: @jennmurawski13 @emogrils @swoopswishsward @marvelsangels @sonjashuterbugjohnson @lost-forest-heart @beardburnsupersoldiers @rvgrsbrns @captainchrisstan @stareyedplanet @fandom-basurero @awesomerextyphoon @chrisjaay @glimmering-darling-dolly @xbuckxnastyx @daydreaminginthechaos @psychiccreationtaco @rayofdawnworld @teller258316 @connie326 @asgardlover75 @ba-arish @socalgem1124 @nervousfandom @dont-cry-babydoll @call-me-baby-gir1 @sleep-i-ness @alexa-lightwood-blog @tenaciousperfectionunknown @archy3001 @rebekahdawkins @supraveng @muralskins @megamieversole-blog @buckysgirl101 @xxchexchickxx @bookfrog242 @belovedcherry @thefridgeismybestie @bibliophilewednesday @old-enough-to-know-better73 @hoe-for-sukusa @linniep @jessyballet @lunarmoon8 @darlingkeiji @hotti3lamotti3 @valsworldofcreativity @thisuserlovesyouandyouandyou @otherglowcloud
43 notes · View notes
pairings: bucky barnes x reader(established), steve rogers x bucky barnes, steve rogers x reader, stucky x reader (dom!bucky, sub!reader, sub!steve)
synopsis: bucky has noticed how you and steve act in each other’s presence, he can tell you’re both holding back from one another. tonight, he decides to give the two of you what you thought you were hiding gracefully, while also getting the fun he deserves.
warnings: dom/sub dynamics, dom bucky, sub steve and reader, threesome, M/M SEXUAL INTERACTIONS, oral sex (m and f receiving), unprotective penetrative sex, dirty talk, pet names, kissing, daddy kink, spitting, slight voyeurism, choking for a moment, sex in the compound living room, filth, its porn. 18+ ONLY! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
word count: 2.4k
a/n: well, this is complete FILTH. I’m scared to post this, honestly. I was going to wait until tomorrow to post but I honestly want to get this deleted from my computer LOL. BUT I hope someone other than me has these filthy stucky thoughts. feedback is always welcome!
It was your honest intent to just watch the movie with your boyfriend, Bucky, but he picked some action movie that you were only half paying attention to, and he just looked so good in the grey sweats and tight black t-shirt that he had on. It started with you kissing his cheeks for attention, but it quickly got heated after he picked you up and placed you on his lap to straddle him. Being that you were in the living room of the compound, this was a bad place to start getting frisky. Bucky didn’t care though, he’d take you right there with everyone watching if he knew you wouldn’t die of humiliation. Of course, right at that moment when Bucky’s tongue is in your mouth, his hands grinding you against his hard-on through his sweats, Steve walks in, not expecting to see, well, that.
As steve catches sight of the two of you, he means to turn away, he really does, but he just can’t. The sight of Bucky’s hands on your hips, grinding you into him, his tongue in your mouth, the soft moans spilling from your lips, it sends blood rushing to his cock. With your back to Steve in Bucky’s lap, you can’t see him, but as Bucky parts his lips from yours to start trailing them on your neck, his eyes open, catching sight of Steve standing there, his hard cock evident in his thin gym shorts. Steve’s face reddens as Bucky sends him a wink, and finally, he gathers the strength to turn away. “God, sorry!”, Steve half-shouts, covering his eyes and turning his body the opposite way.
Steve’s voice frightens you as you turn to look where his. “Steve!” Your face is red, embarrassed beyond belief at the fact that Steve saw you in such a way. “I’m sorry! We shouldn’t be doing that in here!” You scramble to get off Bucky’s lap, but he holds you in place. “I-it’s fine, I’ll go”, Steve says, starting to walk away, but Bucky calls out to him. “Steve.” Bucky is looking right at him, waiting for him to turn around. But he won’t, because he’s afraid you’ll see the tent in his pants. “Yeah, Buck?” he asks, still turned the other way. “Look at me. No need to hide.” Bucky is smirking, knowing he’s finally getting this chance.
“Bucky, what are you doing?”, you whisper shout at him, wondering why he’s not letting Steve leave or letting you get off of his lap. “Hush, kitten, before I spank you right here.” He says back, squeezing your hips and keeping his eyes on Steve. You’re still turned on from just moments ago before Steve walked in, and Bucky’s words to you don’t help any.
Steve turns around slowly, trying to discretely cover his groin area with his hand. Bucky chuckles at his red face and nervous behavior. “Come here, Stevie.” Both yours and Steve’s eyes widen, looking at each other momentarily before breaking eye contact, Steve looking back to Bucky and you burying your face in his chest. Steve walks over slowly to where Bucky is seated on the couch with you in his lap. Bucky looks up at him, smirking. “Stevie, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you were just watching me and my girl from the doorway there. And I think you liked it, according to the strain of your shorts. Yet, I can’t seem to figure out who you were looking at more, me or her.”
The arousal in your core has never been more evident, and you’re trying your hardest not to rub yourself into Bucky’s lap again. The way he’s talking down to Steve that way is making your head spin. You bring your face out of Bucky’s chest to look at Steve, finding him speechless, eyes darting between you and Bucky. “I-I- I’m sorry, Buck, I-“ Steve starts, but Bucky grabs his hand in an attempt to calm him.
“Stevie, would you like join to us?” Bucky asks nonchalantly as if he was asking him to join the two of you for dinner. “I know my girl here doesn’t mind. Every time you walk in the room, she gets all shy and wet and subby, I know she wants to fuck you.” You are now joining Steve in being speechless, not sure whether to start apologizing because it's true, or to deny it. Bucky looks at you for a moment, sensing your concern. “Don’t worry kitten, I’m not mad. I know you can’t help it, and I know you’d never do anything to betray me.”
He turns back to Steve, “And I know you feel the same way for her. In all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you get so nervous and shy around a dame. I can’t blame you punk, I do have one hell of a special girl. But you know what else? I hear you moaning her name at night sometimes when you’re touching yourself. You’re not the only super soldier around here with increased hearing abilities.” Steve’s eyes widen at what he knows is coming next. “I hear my own name fall from your lips too.” Bucky looks at him in the eyes, and you feel his cock twitch under you. You suppress a moan at both that feeling and at Bucky’s words.
Steve looks at him, his eyes softening from their widened state, his hands coming to their sides instead of covering his hard cock. He walks closer to Bucky, standing right next to his knee. “Come here”, Bucky says softly. Steve slowly sits next to him on the couch, your leg touching his as you’re still straddling your boyfriend. You look at Bucky, he can see it in your eyes, and feel it on his pants, how desperate you’ve become. He brings his hand up to cup Steve’s jaw before turning to kiss you. It’s a slow, deep kiss full of raw emotion. While he’s kissing you, he’s guiding Steve close to your joined lips. Bucky pulls away and quickly replaces his lips with Steve’s on your own before you even know what’s happened.
Bucky sits back and groans as he watches Steve kiss you. He kisses slow like Bucky, but you can tell he’s holding back, that he wants to devour you. Bucky’s cock is twitching in his sweats as he puts both of his hands on the backs of yours and Steve’s heads, keeping you in the kiss for a moment before pulling him off your lips and crashing his own into his. Years of built-up tension is coming out through this kiss unfolding right in front of you. Both Steve and Bucky’s faces are distorted in pleasure as they find each other’s tongues, Bucky’s easily dominating Steve’s in the heat.
Bucky brings his flesh fingers to your mouth for you to suck while his lips are still on Steve’s. You moan around his fingers and start to move your hips against his crotch, forcing a moan into Steve’s mouth. He pulls away from his friends’ lips to look at you, you’re so desperate you could cum right there just from rubbing on him, and Bucky knows it. “Aw baby, you’re soaked through your shorts. Look at the mess you’ve made on my pants.” Bucky mocks you, pulling another moan from your mouth. He grabs your jaw, pulling you so close to his face that your noses are almost touching. “Stand up and strip.” He says quietly, yet sternly. Your eyes widen at the thought of stripping in front of Steve, but you do as he says and stand up in front of him.
Bucky turns to give Steve a quick kiss before finding Steve’s cock through his shorts, a moan falling from Steve’s mouth. His shorts are stained with precum, Bucky can feel it. They both watch as you remove your t-shirt and shorts. Standing in your bra and panties, your face turns red as you start to shy away. “Don’t- don’t hide, y/n. You’re gorgeous”, Steve says in awe, never having seen your body in this way. “That’s right, doll. You know daddy’s rule, no hiding. Take the rest of it off so you can get back in my lap, pretty girl.” Bucky says, smiling softly at you.
You remove your bra and panties, quickly returning to Bucky’s lap, where he’s rid of his sweats but kept his boxers. As you begin to straddle him, he stops you. “Nu-uh. Other way, kitten. I want your back against my chest.” You oblige and turn around, his arms grabbing beneath your knees and pulling your legs apart, spreading your bare mound for anyone to walk in and see. Bucky brings his fingers to Steve’s mouth, where he happily takes them. “Get them nice and wet for me, Stevie”, Bucky says, pulling his fingers out and bringing them to your pussy. You moan loudly, finally getting what you needed. He begins making slow circles on your clit, Steve watching your face turn in pleasure.
Bucky turns to Steve. “Shirt and shorts off, now.” Steve stands up and strips the clothes Bucky told him to. As he sits back down, Bucky grabs his jaw, kissing him sloppily for a second before pulling away. “Open your mouth, tongue out.” Steve obeys, and Bucky spits on his tongue, the excess dripping on his chin. “Now, get that mouth on my girl’s pussy.”
Your eyes widen as you hear Bucky’s words, but before you can say anything, Steve’s mouth is on your mound, and god is he good. His tongue licking wide stripes up and down, focusing on your clit before going further down to tongue your entrance. You’re a moaning mess, on edge and so, so ready to cum. Steve begins sucking on your clit as he brings a single finger to your hole. Bucky’s hands are on your breasts, squeezing and caressing as his lips suck purple marks into your neck.
Steve’s index finger and tongue work your pussy, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. “Daddy!” You moan to Bucky, “Daddy, m’gonna cum!” Bucky smirks, “Oh no baby, not yet” Bucky gently pushes Steve’s face from your mound, pulling a pathetic whine from you. “You’re cumming on my cock, sweet girl.” Bucky pulls his boxers off him, his cock now free, the tip oozing precum and prodding at your entrance. Steve looks at his friend's cock wide-eyed. He looks to Bucky nervously as he watches him push his cock into your wet hole. “Oh fuck, kitten, so wet for me, aren’t you?” You nod yes and moan desperately, trying to move your hips against him, but Bucky reaches his arm across your hips, holding you still. He looks to Steve, “Go on, Stevie, keep working your tongue on her. She’s gonna cum so hard for us.” Bucky groans, moving his cock excruciatingly slow in and out of you.
Steve brings his head back down to your core, all his focus on your clit now as Bucky continues to pump slowly into you. Steve can feel Bucky’s cock rubbing against his chin occasionally, making his cock twitch in his boxers, which are covered in precum. You’ve never experienced pleasure like this, and you’re so close, you’re right there. “Daddy can I cum?! Please daddy, feels so good!” Bucky groans as he feels your walls beginning to tighten around him. “Yes baby, be a good girl and make a mess on my cock” At his words you fall apart, your head thrown back and your legs shaking as you cum hard, your eyes squeezing tight as you experience ecstasy like never before. You finally come down, your body going limp in Bucky’s lap as Steve’s tongue comes off your clit. You’re trying to catch your breath as Bucky pulls his cock from you, cooing at the mess you made on it. “Such a good girl, baby. Now Stevie, be a good boy and lick my cock clean.”
Steve’s eyes are full of lust as he takes no time to obey Bucky’s orders. He licks his cock from base to tip, cleaning your cum from it and moaning at the taste. Steve’s tongue is pushing Bucky closer to the edge, “Yes Stevie, keep licking me like that, fuck” Bucky groans at the feeling as Steve starts to focus on his head. Bucky kisses you deeply, his hands finding your throat and lightly squeezing as he gets closer to cumming. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum” Bucky groans, Steve not slowing down his tongue as Bucky’s cum shoots up and lands on your exhausted pussy, covering it in his thick white ropes. “Ah, fuck! God, yes!” Bucky groans through his orgasm, his head falling back for a second before looking back to Steve.
“Okay Steve, I think you’ve earned the privilege to fuck my girl. But you better not cum in her, punk, I’ll kill you”, Bucky smirks at Steve. You look at him as he discards his boxers in front of you, watching his angry red cock bounce free. Steve gets between yours and Bucky’s knees as he lines himself with your entrance, looking at you for silent permission as you look at him with begging eyes, needing him to fuck you. He finally begins to push himself into you, moans escaping his mouth as you squeeze him tight with your walls.
“Oh god, Steve!” you moan, holding Bucky’s hands as he starts to pump in and out of you. “Fuck, m’not gonna last long”, he says, out of breath already from the pleasure. Bucky grabs his arm and pulls him down to capture his lips in a kiss, then turning Steve’s head to kiss you once more. He’s pounding into you, the sound of skin slapping filling the room, his face scrunched in pleasure as he feels his peak approaching. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum”, he says into your kiss, pulling away suddenly and fisting his cock over your stomach, where he groans as ropes of his cum cover your stomach, some getting on Bucky’s thighs.
Steve collapses beside Bucky on the couch, catching his breath as he looks over the two of you. “Wow” is all Steve can get out, honestly in shock over what just happened. “Wow, indeed,” Bucky says, chuckling lightly, standing up with you in his arms. Your eyes are closed as you rest against his chest, too tired to speak. “I’m gonna take y/n to the bathroom to get cleaned up.. join us?” Bucky smiles at Steve. Steve nods in agreement as he follows the two of you to your bathroom, where the three of you share a warm shower and cuddle in bed afterward. The three of you fall asleep for a nap, your body sandwiched between the two super soldiers’.
57 notes · View notes
Running from Natasha
9 notes · View notes
Happiest Years Paralyzed Where is my mind Wasted love (Coming soon)
7 notes · View notes
Steve: SomeBody come get her shes fucking up my dinner.
Y/n: *Throws a pan a his head* Somebody come get him before I fucking end him.
Sam and buck: *Look at Steve like you fucked up i am not coming to help you this time you on your own."
Y/n: *You continue to cook*
52 notes · View notes
Chrome & Leather - Chp 2
Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC, Brother Bucky x OFC, Billy Russo x OFC
Series Warnings: Angst, Violence, Smut, Lies, Cussing,
Word Count: 2258
Series Summary: Life had always been simple in the small town that the Barnes and Rogers family grew up in. Jessie had fallen in love with her brothers best friend Steve Rogers as a teenager. When Bucky and Steve come back to town after serving in the army they decide to open up a mechanic shop and start a motorcycle club. Steve and Jessie reunite and start a passionate relationship focused on settling down.
But one night of fun turns tragic after the guys are betrayed by a childhood friend and you watch the life you dreamed of slip through your fingers. Broken-hearted you are forced to move on without him.
Five years later, Steve and Bucky come back to the small town to find you with a son and engaged to the new Sheriff Billy Russo. Is it too late to win you back? Can true love concur life’s obstacles and will Billy let you go?
A/N: This is my first fic with an original female character, Jessie Barnes. Face claim for Jessie Barnes is model Jessy Hartel, Images of her are slightly altered to give her blue eyes for my OC. All photos in moodboard are from Pinterest.
To read more of my work here is my Masterlist
Thank you to my betas @buckyownsmylife & @nekoannie-chan for looking this over for me.
Page-break by @whimsicalrogers
Taglists are closed. To stay up to date with my writing follow my side-blog and turn on the notifications for @saiyanprincessswanie-sideblog
@jtargaryen18 @marvelfansworld @the-soulofdevil @nekoannie-chan @get0verit @miraclesoflove @notyourtypicalrose @kitkatd7 @awsome262338 @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @charmed-asylum @rainbowkisses31 @shield-agent78 @what-is-your-plan-today @searchforanotherway @sagechanoafterdark @rosalynshields @drabblewithfrannybarnes @gotnofucks @joannie95 @starlightcrystalline @shippers-heart @sweeterthanthis @ozarkthedog @rayofdawnworld @icanfeelastormbrewing @angrythingstarlight @divadinag @cdaddyevans @atthediscowithoutpanic @sllooney @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @awesomerextyphoon @princessofdarkwinter @what-is-your-wish @starfirerules @angrybirdcr @averyrogers83 @maryehudson @cynic-spirit @archy3001 @mogaruke @patzammit @missrobyn81 @everythingisbeautifulposts @taintedgenre @before-we-get-started @chezdricks @maeleeme @cltex84 @alexakeyloveloki @connie326 @moonlacebeam @waywardwifey @wonder-cole @americasass81
Reposts & Translations on other social media pages or apps is NOT allowed. If you see this anywhere other than my AO3 or Tumblr please let me know as it was stolen. 🚫🚫
Reblogs & Comments on Tumblr are welcomed and encouraged. 😊💜
The sound of a text message pulled Jessie from her slumber as she groaned out in frustration. She reached for her phone as it dinged again, it was a message from Becca telling her that the guys would be arriving in the afternoon. Jessie rolled out of bed to get ready for the day.
Winnie and Becca were planning a small get-together with their friends from the community at the family home. They figured a small BBQ with home-cooked food would be just what the guys needed and that was something the Barnes women were good at. There would be a lot to get done but knowing her mom and sister they would have been making things since early this morning.
After showering, she wrapped a towel around her and walked into the bedroom to change. Jessie put on a light blue lace bra and matching underwear. She then changed into a blue summer dress that flowed to her mid-thighs and boots. She walked back into the bathroom to finish up her hair and put on a touch of makeup.
Her nerves were running wild as she looked herself over in the mirror. It was going to be a long morning as she played different scenarios in her head about seeing Steve for the first time. A frustrated sigh escaped her lips as she headed downstairs to leave for her mom’s place.
It took a few hours of cooking and setting up everything outside before Winnie was satisfied with how everything looked. Pietro, Wanda, Nat, Sam, and Thor thankfully had offered to help them around noon. Now the small group was outside taking a break under the warm summer sun.
The guests were just starting to arrive as they trickled in the house and outside. “Well look at you, Jessie. Any reason you got yourself dolled up?” Becca asked as Jessie walked into the kitchen.
“What? Can’t a girl look nice for the party we’re throwing?” Jessie fluttered her eyes dramatically as she walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer.
Becca grinned as she watched her sister walk with an extra skip in her step. “Uh-huh, I bet. Here, take these condiments outside. Bucky texted saying they would be here soon.”
With a beer in one hand and a tray in the other, Jessie made her way outside. As she set down the items on a table, she was greeted by different guests. Jessie chatted with friends, trying to keep the nerves from rising within her head.
Caught up in conversation, Jessie heard their friends start to cheer as a jeep made its way into the long driveway. Becca and Winnie had pushed through the crowd of people to greet the men. Jessie stood back with Wanda, watching as Bucky and Steve hugged her sister and mom. Their eyes scanned the group of people as they shook hands and laughed.
Finally, Bucky caught Jessie’s eye as she stood off to the side. “My god Jessie, look at you. I hardly recognized you.” Jessie ran towards her brother and they embraced one another. Bucky pulled back and took you in. “Steve, look at our little Jessie, all grown up.”
Jessie’s eyes glanced from Bucky to the man behind him. There, standing before her, was Steve staring at her with eyebrows raised and parted lips. She wasn't sure if he was happy to see her or not. Steve had definitely put on some muscle weight from the last time she saw him. Her eyes roamed over him, taking in his handsome form.
Steve grinned as he walked up to her. “Wow, Jessie, you umm… you look great, beautiful.” His words stumbled over one another as his hand rubbed the back of his neck.
She couldn’t help the nervous chuckle that escaped her lips. “You’re not so bad yourself Steve.” Jessie blushed as she stared into his blue eyes.
Bucky watched them both in awkward silence. “I don’t know about you two but I need food and a beer.” That broke the eye contact and by the time she knew it both men were being ushered off by some of their friends.
Becca walked up to her sister and lightly nudged her. “So that was interesting to watch.”
“Shut it, Becca.” Jessie took a swig from the bottle and walked away, ignoring Becca calling after her.
The gathering had turned out to be just what the guys needed. Steve and Bucky both played catch up with friends, ate to their heart's content, and drank several beers. The entire time Steve’s eyes were watching Jessie as she mingled with guests. Every now and then their eyes would lock with one another across the yard.
She had grown up in those four years and was just as beautiful as when he left her. Steve had developed a crush on Jessie in grade school. He didn’t know what his feelings were then, not until he got older. By the time they were all in high school, Steve was smitten with the brown-haired beauty.
Steve remembers one day after school when he and Bucky were in a fight with two boys from the next town over. Jessie and Becca had stumbled upon the scuffle on their way home. Steve had taken a fist to the face and fell to the ground. By the time he looked up from the ground, he caught Jessie punching the boy square in the face, breaking his nose. The boy had fallen to the ground, clutching his face and Jessie stood over him hurling insults. Both boys ran from the scene.
Jessie had kneeled next to him to see if he was alright. Most boys would be embarrassed if a girl rescued them but not Steve. No, he was definitely in love with her from that moment on. After that day, he would casually flirt, hold her hand when no one was looking or kiss her forehead. Steve knew she would be his best girl.
It hurt to leave her behind when he went into the military but he felt lost. With both parents deceased, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with his life. His mom had always been his beacon, guiding him towards a better future. When he lost her something in him broke. He became an angry, resentful person, who liked to drink and pick fights. Looking in the mirror, he didn’t recognize himself and knew he needed a change.
So when Bucky decided to join the army, Steve saw a way to work on himself without dragging Jessie down the dark path he was on. Thankfully, the army was exactly what he needed. It gave him a purpose and a second chance at life.
Now being back among friends Steve knew he made the right decision. It was time for him to get the woman of his dreams.
The party had died down around 11 PM and Winnie had bid everyone a good night. Sam and Thor had left to work at the bar leaving Steve, Bucky, Becca, Jessie, Nat, Wanda, Pietro, and a small group of their friends around the bonfire. Throughout the day and evening, Jessie and Steve had kept stealing glances of one another. Though every time Steve was going to approach her, someone else would be welcoming him back home. Jessie had decided to get up from the group and take a small walk.
Jessie walked around to the front of the house and headed to the porch. This had to be one of her favorite spots at her parent’s house and she could always be found here when she was younger.
She climbed the front stairs to the porch and sat on the swing. Jessie could hear the laughter from behind the house being carried by the wind. Out where her mother’s house was you could see all the stars. On any given night Jessie would say this was relaxing, but after she witnessed Sharon’s behavior she was more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Sharon was the blonde hair, blue-eyed beauty that could stop men in their tracks. Tonight was no exception as she hung around Steve every chance she could, her arm always touching a part of him. To his credit, Steve kept shaking off Sharon every single time and excused himself from the group just to get away from her. Though seeing another beautiful woman hanging off his arm caused jealousy to run through Jessie’s veins. Sharon was known to be ‘experienced’ and maybe that is what Steve needed after being gone for a few years. Jessie had never slept with anyone before and she cursed herself for not knowing how to approach Steve. Jessie let out a sigh and closed her eyes as she swung lightly back and forth.
The sound of feet on the gravel had her opening her eyes as she watched Steve climb the stairs. He leaned against the porch railing and smiled. “I had a feeling you would be here. Is this seat taken?”
Jessie slid over and lightly patted the open spot. “So… How does it feel to finally be home? ” She watched him walk over to her and sit down. His leg brushed against hers ever so lightly, causing Jessie to bite her lip.
Steve smiled as his eyes looked her over. “Feels great to be home. It was nice that you, Becca, and your mom pulled a little welcome home party together. Just seeing everyone after a few years and catching up was exactly what I needed. Though there was one person I didn’t get the chance to talk with today that I’ve missed the most.”
Jessie looked at him confused, “And who is that?”
“Really, Jessie?” Steve turned his body to face her and lightly grasped her hand. His thumb rubbed circles on the back of it. “You know I’ve waited four years for this moment. To finally see your beautiful face again.” His hand cupped her cheek softly. “Just seeing you today gives me hope for us.”
“What do you mean ‘for us’? We aren’t together Steve.” Confused, she watched him run a hand on the back of his neck. Jessie could tell he was nervous with how he was acting.
“The thing is, I like you, Jessie. Always have, since the day I met you. I was waiting for the right time to ask you to be my girl. I have wanted to ask you for a long time.”
Jessie bit her lip, trying to process what he was saying. “You want me to be yours?” Her eyes were locked onto his, searching to see if he was lying.
Steve nodded his head. “If you’ll have me.”
Jessie threw her arms around him, holding him tight. “Yes, Steve. A thousand times yes.” Steve’s arms wrapped around her as he released the breath he was holding in.
Jessie always said that he could give the best hugs in the world. Her nose buried in his shirt, taking his scent in. Briefly, he pulled back from her, cupping her cheeks with his hands. His thumbs gently wiped the tears away as he leaned closer to her.
“Can I kiss you, doll?” He breathed out, waiting for her permission.
“Yes.” Their lips connected as they softly danced against the other. If this was a movie, there would be fireworks going off in the background to celebrate the long-awaited kiss that they have dreamed of.
A throat cleared in the background as Jessie and Steve pulled away from one another. Bucky was standing at the bottom of the stairs, watching them. “So how long has this been going on?” He took a pull of his beer.
“Buck! I-We-” Steve stuttered as Jessie jumped in.
“Bucky, this is not your business.” She glared at him as he walked up the steps.
His blue eyes looked between Jessie and Steve. “To hell, it ain’t. My best friend and my youngest sister are necking on the front porch. So, when did this start?”
Steve stood up and held up his hands in defense. “I just asked her now to be my best girl.”
There was an awkward silence between the three of them as Bucky glared at them both. Jessie was expecting a big brother talk when he finally smiled and started to laugh. She exchanged a confused look with Steve.
Bucky was bent over laughing, “I got you both good! It’s about damn time, Steve. I thought it was going to take a miracle to get you to admit your feelings.”
Jessie stood, hands on her hips as Bucky pulled Steve into a hug. “Wait a minute, what do you mean about damn time? You knew he had feelings for me?”
“Steve here has been hiding his feelings since we were kids. I didn’t think much of it until he refused to date anyone I tried to set him up with. Then there is you, Jessie, you have been obvious from the start. Plus, Becca filled me in.” Bucky said as he took another drink, watching the realization come over the both of you. “Least you both admitted your feelings. But Steve…”
“Yeah, Buck?” Steve asked.
Bucky’s smile went into a thin line, “You break her heart and I will break your face.” Bucky headed back to the bonfire.
Jessie stood in front of him now, hands sliding into his, “Yeah Steve, so don’t screw this up.”
“I don’t ever plan on it, doll.” Steve leaned down and kissed her with such passion it took her breath away.
49 notes · View notes
show me, don’t tell me - deleted scene #01
So, this is an outtake/deleted/re-written scene from the story Show Me, Don’t Tell Me
I changed the plot around so this was cut. For context here, Avery is already dating Bucky (and Bucky is dating Steve) but her and Steve haven’t really had that conversation yet.
Content warning: a lead up to some smut, but no smut.
“So, you and I had a discussion..”
“Then you and Steve had a conversation about it?”
Bucky nodded again.
Her eyes darted to Steve. “But you and I also kind of talked about this.”
Steve’s face blushed slightly as Bucky swatted him in the chest, smirking.
Avery let out a frustrated groan and headed towards the door.
“Avery, you don’t have to-
She cut Bucky off and opened the door, looking over her shoulder as she paused. “I will be right back.”
Bucky shook his head and leaned back into the couch, turning to look at Steve. “What did you say?”
“I feel like she’s more irritated by something you said,” Steve defended himself.
“Oh, fuck off.” Bucky nudged him in the arm. “All I said was maybe we could, like all three of us, you know, have sex.”
Steve stifled his smile, reaching to the bowl of pretzels on the coffee table and grabbing a few. “Oh, I know. That night she slept over a few weeks ago, after her apartment thing, she made a comment to me.”
“Why didn’t you say something?” Bucky shifted on the couch. “Considering I even showed you a video about what I wanted to do.”
“Buck, c’mon,” Steve rolled his eyes. “I’m still on the outside here. We’ve hardly discussed how the three of us could potentially date, let alone if diving into a threesome is a good idea.”
Bucky bit his lip. “I think it would be really good, s’all I’m saying.”
Soon enough they heard Avery’s feet scurrying back up the hallway. She cursed, loudly, when she tried the door and it was locked. Bucky let out a laugh and got up off the couch to open it for her. She bounded in, still in sock feet, with a bottle of amber coloured liquid tucked under her arm and what appeared to be mismatched shot glasses in her hand.
“Avery,” Bucky started, watching as she plunked the items down on the island of his kitchen.
“We’re having this conversation right now.” She lined the glasses up in front of her, popping the cork off her old bottle of rum and filling all three to the rim.
“You know that doesn’t have any effect on either of us, right?” Steve jumped in as he walked over to them.
“I don’t care. I need to take the edge off and this is a team effort. Solidarity.” She handed one to Steve and the other to Bucky, gripping the third between her fingers and thumb. She was trying not to shake.
“And you know no one is having sex if you’re drunk, doll,” Bucky said, his tone somewhere between playful and concerned. Her energy was exciting - he liked when she was excited. But she was clearly toeing the line between enthusiasm and worry.
“Please,” she said with an eye roll, lifting up her glass and motioning for them to do the same. “I’m not that much of a lightweight, Buck.”
The boys followed her lead as she tipped the glass into her mouth, wincing for a brief moment as it ran down her throat. She immediately went to the bottle again but Bucky’s metal hand landed on top of hers as she did. “Take it easy, Ave.”
She let out a sigh and nodded. “Okay. Fine.” She looked between the two of them. They were equally delectable to her in that moment and her brain was racing a mile a minute. “You two sit.” She pointed to the couch.
“Yes, ma’am,” Steve said with a raised eyebrow, glancing over at Bucky. They shared a playful smirk and collapsed down onto the couch. Bucky leaned back on one end, hands propped up behind his head. His legs stretched out over Steve’s lap who occupied the other end.
“I want to lay all of this out on the table.” Avery started, standing a few feet away from the couch, facing them both. “But I’m going to say most of this with my eyes closed because I don’t think I’ll be able to handle making eye contact with either of you right now.”
Bucky did his best to contain his laughter but just nodded. He didn’t want to laugh at her insecurities but she was acting so damn adorable. “Okay.”
“You know we don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, Avery,” Steve started.
She held a hand up to him. “Just let me...spit this out.” She took a deep breath and let out a long exhale as she closed her eyes.
“Bucky and I.. have had sex. A lot. And it’s great.”
“Yeah, it is.”
She let out an irritated huff. Sometimes she liked how much more talkative and personable Bucky was when he was feeling comfortable, especially around her and Steve both. But other times, his smart mouth annoyed her. Even if he was charming.
“Bucky, I need you to shut up for just five minutes.”
“Sorry, babe. Carry on.”
“So Bucky and I. That is covered.” She gulped. “Now, as we have all come to realize, I have a huge crush on Steve. And since I know you two already talked about me and this, we all know I also had a few sex dreams about.. Steve. And me.”
“I can only imagine..”
Avery took another deep breath, then opened her eyes. She looked at both of them, each staring at her with curiosity and somehow affection. She wanted to die. “And I know your relationship isn’t about that. But.. I think we should.”
There. It was clear as mud.
“We should what?” Steve repeated slowly, his lips turning up into a coy smile.
“You’re going to make me say it?” Avery’s face transformed into an irritated pout. “Really?”
“Say what, doll?” Bucky chimed in, a familiar half smile painted on.
“We should all..” She swallowed hard again, closing her eyes. This was frustrating. They were doing this to rile her up on purpose and she actually secretly enjoyed it. “Fuck!”
“So vulgar.” Steve glanced over at Bucky, letting his tongue slide across his lips. “I kinda like it.”
“I don’t mean that!” Avery jumped in, throwing her arms up. “Well, no. I do. I do mean that. We should. All three of us. We should have sex, okay?” She opened her eyes again and looked to them both. “God, this is embarrassing but here we go: I want you both to share...me.”
Steve gave her a soft smile. “Was that so hard?”
Bucky pulled his legs off of Steve and turned to sit straight on the couch. “Speaking of hard…”
“You two are the worst.” Avery huffed and dropped down to sit on the floor, rolling her eyes.
“Avery, baby,” Bucky patted the space on the couch between himself and Steve. “C’mere.”
She shook her head, remaining in her spot. She crossed her arms and watched as the two of them made eyes. “I hate how you guys can talk without saying anything.”
Of course they didn’t mean to be doing that but when Steve tilted his head towards Bucky and saw the excited grin growing on his face, they both knew. They all wanted the exact same thing - each other. Bucky gave him a nod, motioning his head to her.
“Avery,” Steve stood up from the couch and extended his hand to help her up. She pouted for another moment then accepted his hand, untwisting from her spot and returning to her feet.
She looked up at Steve, feeling a heat rising inside her as their eyes locked together. His hands, which had been resting at his sides, moved up slowly. He hesitated for a brief moment before cradling her face, making sure she was nodding before he touched her.
She leaned into his touch immediately, closing her eyes as her breath hitched. She didn’t even realize it until they made contact but she had been waiting for Steve. While his right hand cradled her cheek, his left snaked around her waist, closing in the space between them both. Then finally, he leaned in and met her lips with his. It was firm, permanent, electric. Just as quickly as it happened, his lips pulled away and the hand on her face moved to the back of her neck, gently pulling on her hair.
A whimper escaped her lips as Steve moved his attention to her neck. Avery lost herself in his touch. He immediately found that one spot that made her weak in the knees. She was starting to think maybe Bucky had told Steve way more about her than she knew.
She wanted to pull away and throw a playful glance at Bucky, wherever he was, but all her brain could think about was Steve, Steve, Steve…
Her mind finally returned to her body when she felt another set of hands on her waist and a body pressing up behind her. Bucky’s breath landed on her neck as Steve kissed his way back towards her mouth.
“Avery, baby,” Bucky’s voice was like a growl in her ear. His lips attached to her neck as he gripped her hips, pushing himself onto her. She was sandwiched between both of them and not only was it hot, but it was hot. Feeling them both, feeling all of them even through their pants, was making her coil inside.
Why had they waited so long for this?
It was Steve who pulled away, a look of glee on his face as he gazed at the moment, causing everything to halt.
“Should we maybe talk about boundaries before this continues?”
Bucky pulled his lips away from Avery’s neck and smiled. Classic Stevie.
Avery looked at Steve and nodded, resting her hand on his chest. Bucky’s hands remained tight on her hips as he rested his head on her shoulder. “Okay. I guess first thing first, I trust you both. And I’m okay with this.” She needed to say those words out loud to calm herself down and to reassure them both.
“I’m on birth control so I don’t really care if you want to use a condom or not. Bucky and I gave up on that weeks ago but it’s up to you, Steve.”
Steve nodded, to indicate he was understanding. “If you want me to I will but I haven’t, well, it’s been a while since I’ve slept with anyone. And the serum keeps us pretty healthy.”
Avery appreciated how seriously he was taking the situation. It was very adorable actually, the way he showed he cared.
“If I can be honest here,” Avery said quietly, closing her eyes. “I’d much rather feel all of you. Without a condom.” She felt both of them shift as she spoke.
Wow, if she could say one thing and get that reaction, she could only imagine what was about to happen…
She could feel Bucky’s hands start to wander, snaking up under her shirt. “I’m almost done, Buck.” She giggled, reaching to grab his hand.
“You know I’m not patient.”
She ignored his commentary and looked back to Steve. “Just two more things. First, neither of you can leave marks on my body unless I can cover them up with a swimsuit. The last thing I need to do is explain inappropriate bruises to my family this weekend.”
Steve let out a soft laugh and nodded once more.
“Lastly,” she leaned forward towards Steve and kept her lips just ahead of his. “This might be surprising considering my defiant attitude but I like not having control.”
4 notes · View notes
Dancing With The Devil (4/?)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader / Helmut Zemo x reader / Sam Wilson x Reader (Platonic)
Masterlist: Dancing With The Devil (Part 2 of National Anthem)
Type: Fluff, Angst, Bit of crack.
Warnings: Swearing. Bucky, You, Sam, and Zemo bickering, a lot. Sexual Themes implied.
Plot: TFATWS Ep 3. Zemo got out of jail and was slightly whipped because he and reader has a little fling in the past. (It was briefly mentioned in part 1 of National Anthem) Reader refuse alcohol. Yay!
Word count: 3,535. [Unedited]
Disclaimer: I am not sure how accurate the google translation is because I used some other language that I am sure as fuck not familiar with. I apologize if It is wrong. Feedback base on my writing is appreciated. Enjoy!
Song: Horns - Bryce Fox
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
[B E R L I N, G E R M A N Y]
The guard buzzed you in through a vault, your eyes scattered looking at different cameras that you've walked by. Another guard greeted you with a mental detector machine before letting the three of you through which you hoped was the last one.
"Danke" you said to the guard but he didn't even acknowledge you, you rolled your eyes and continue to walk.
"God, you're gonna think Zemo's in the 50th circle of hell with all that doors" You whispered to yourself.
"He should be deeper than that, (Y/N)" Sam chimed.
Bucky stopped the three of you halfway, "Give us a sec. I’m gonna go in alone."
"What? No." You declined.
"You’re both an Avenger. You know how he feels about that." Bucky explained.
Sam puts his hand on his pocket, "It’s not like you two were known for frolickin’ in the sun together." He scoffs, "At least let (Y/N) go with you, she's barely an Avenger. Maybe she can try her mind wispies to use"
"Yeah! Besides, I think he'll appreciate an old friend that's not from....y'know" you trailed off.
Bucky and Sam looked at you in suspicion.
"Excuse me?" Sam asked.
"Shut up. It's a long story just...." you sighed, "Bucky will go in first and then I'll join him once he signal me, ok? trust me."
"That's triple no from me. How do you ev- You know what?" Bucky grabbed both of your arms and puts you next to Sam "Stay here. He was obsessed with HYDRA. We have a history together. Trust ME. I got it."
You watched as he walked inside, "If you let me go with him, I'll make you a customized Redwing that's not from the government." you bribed Sam.
The man took a step back, his eye squinting, thinking of your offer. "I sometimes forget your smart" you frowned at him, "I am just kidding. Go, make sure he doesn't go all soldier on us"
You opened the door,
"That time wasn’t exactly a picnic." you heard Bucky said.
Zemo eyes turned to you which made Bucky looked behind his back.
"Hello boys" you waved.
"Hase" Zemo whispered, taking a closer step to the glass.
Bucky glared at you for not listening to him but you approached him nonetheless, "I am sorry, did I step on your moment?" you placed your hand on his shoulder, "Told you he'd go all puppy on seeing me"
Zemo scoff, "Of course, It's the least I could do for bringing me all that Stark technology"
"You what?" Bucky turned to you.
You looked at him with eyes widen, "I- I wasn't, He-"
"For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. It was never personal. You both were simply a means to a necessary end." He turned his back to the both of you, grabbing something from the table before placing it on a box that is on the left side of the glass, pushing it to your direction.
Bucky picked up the little gold chain choker with a bunny charm on it, "What's this?"
You snatched it from him and put it inside your pocket. You gave him a glare, "He's making us waste time"
Bucky glared back at you but then softens. You knew you're gonna have a long talk after this. You turned back to Zemo, who was now sitting back at his little bed. Watching the two of you like you're in a television.
"Someone recreated the super-soldier serum. We need to find out who." Bucky demanded.
"You are assuming HYDRA has something to do with this, which is why you came to me, which means you are desperate. Luckily for you, I know where to begin."
"What are you talking about? You wanna break Zemo outta' jail?" Sam exclaimed, trying to navigate through the dark with a small flashlight, "Where are we, Buck? Have you lost your mind?"
"We have no leads, no moves, nothing." Bucky answered.
"What we have is one of the most dangerous men in the world behind bars." Sam argued
Bucky successfully opened the lights and reveals that they're in a garage, "We also have eight Super Soldiers that are loose, Sam"
"Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offence" He pointed at Bucky.
"Offence" The metal armed man said, "Super Soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy, but he still has a code."
"Code? We've been on the wrong side of that code and so have you. He blew up the UN, he killed King T’Chaka and framed you for it. Did you forget that? You think the Wakandans forgot about it? It’s a rhetorical question. They didn’t. I know why this matters to you, but it’s pushing you off the deep end." Sam lectured Buck.
Bucky sighed, "We don’t know how they’re gettin’ the serum. We don’t even know how many of them there are. Let us just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through hypothetical?" he offered.
"What did you do?" Sam asked, looking at the Bucky with a serious stare, "and where's (Y/N)?"
He turned back to Sam, "I didn’t do anything."
"what 's the book your reading?" You asked to Zemo.
He turned glancing back,
"The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meat ware. The human element. Now, in this lockup, it’s nine to one, prisoners to guards. And if two prisoners start fighting, then the protocol says four guards have to respond." Bucky explained.
Bucky and You got out of Zemo's cell, You both casted each other a knowing look as you both got down the stairs. You lowered your head and looked at one of the prisoners that was playing chess.
Your eyes glowed purple for a second, you looked back at Buck and nodded.
"So why would two prisoners randomly start fighting at that moment?" Sam asked.
"Who knows" Bucky shrug shrugged, "could be many reasons"
The prisoner you targeted flashed his eyes purple before looking at his opponent and leaping over the table. The other prisoner tripped back, giving access to your target to straddle him and punched again and again. The prisoners around them egged the fight on.
An loud sound was turned on, alerting the Police, they hurried down to stop the massive fight that just occurred.
"But the point is, these things escalate." Bucky added, "Lockdown procedures would have to be initiated, and with all those bodies flying around left and right, wouldn’t be hard to slip down a hallway or two."
Zemo got the signal, opening his cell door and walking down the hallway before a guard spotted him. He glared at the guard before disarming him, dragging him on one of the cells and taking his uniform making him escape with barely a scratch.
He flashed the guard's ID at the final door, the green light signal appearing. He lowered his hat as passing by a security cam.
"Aufseher Menz." He whispered to the walkie talkie. The last door opened, Zemo got out and held the door for the incoming S.W.A.T team.
"And if the fire alarm got tripped while the prisoners were being separated…" Bucky elaborates
He walked through the long hallway catching you besides a fire alarm wearing a guard uniform. Zemo smirked but was met with a frown from you. You pulled the fire alarm before briskly walking forward with Zemo following close.
"…someone could use the chaos to their advantage."
Numbers of guard was approaching, Zemo grabbed your arms and pulled you in on one of the cells. The force caused you to have your back against the wall with him pressed against your body, trying to cramp at the small wall to avoid being seen.
"You look good in uniform, Hase" he whispered.
"You lost your flirting privileges when you stole half my tech" You pushed him off you.
"Still fiesty" Zemo groaned as his back hit the other side wall, "When did you became so strong?"
You ignored him and checked outside noticing there's no more guards on either side. "Come on" you tilt your head to him, getting out of the cell and heading towards the fire exit.
You both got out smoothly, the sun kissed your skin as you left the facility. You motioned Zemo to a car and getting into the driver seat. You road out of there with the sun trailing behind.
"I don’t like how casual you’re both bein’ about this. This is unnatural." Sam chuckled, "Are you… And where are we, man? and where the hell is (Y/N)"
A door opening catch your attentions, a two figures wearing a police uniform walking in, Sam squint before realizing who it is.
"Whoa. Whoa, whoa." Sam start to take mean steps towards Zemo.
Bucky tried to stop him, a hand on Sam's chest, "No, listen."
"What are you doin’ here?" Sam asked, "and (Y/N)? What the- you have to be- shit"
"I didn’t tell ’cause I knew you wouldn’t let this happen." Bucky shouted back at him.
Sam turned his face to you, "What did you do?"
"We need him." You explained, taking your cap off and holding Sam's chest to calm him down, "I had to make sure he's not gonna bail, Sam" you defended yourself.
Sam tried to take steps forward, "You’re going back to prison!"
"If I may…" Zemo spoke
"NO!" the three of you shouted in unison.
The escaped man just nod his head, "Apologies."
"When Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you backed him. You broke the law, and you stuck your neck out for me. I’m asking you to do it again." Bucky tried to reason with him.
"I really think I’m invaluable…" Zemo uttered
"Shut up" you grit your teeth at him.
"Okay. If we do this, you don’t make a move without our permission" Sam pointed at him.
"Fair" Zemo replied.
The three of you looked at each other before turning your head back to the escaped man,
"Okay, Zemo, where do we start?" Sam asked.
The lights in another huge garage filled with cars opened. You winced at the familiarity of the place.
"So our first step is grand theft auto?" Sam questioned.
Zemo opened one of the car's trunk to reveal weapons, "These are mine. Collected by family over the generations."
You stood over the corner as you watched the men inspect the cars. Bucky opened one of the car's door.
"Wouldn't sit on that if I were you" You threatened.
Bucky looked at you and gave him a knowing look. He looked back at you with disgust and shut the car's door.
"seriously?" Sam throwed shade at your direction, you gave him a fake smile.
"I spent years hunting people HYDRA recruited to recreate the serum. Because once it’s out there, someone can create an army of people… like the Avengers." Zemo said looking at Sam before turning back to the yellow car.
His eye caught a certain mask, putting it in a duffel bag along side with some clothes, "I ended the L.R. and Winter Soldier program once before. I have no intention to leave my work unfinished. To do this, we’ll have to scale a ladder of lowlifes."
"Well, join the party. We’ve already started." Sam replied sarcastically.
"First stop is a woman named Selby. Mid-level fence I still have a line on. From there, we climb." Zemo explained walking with the duffel bag in hand and the a very lavish coat on the other.
You followed closely to him. You and Bucky meeting eyes before heading to wherever the fuck Zemo's taking you.
"So all this time you’ve been rich?" Sam asked, motioning to the private plane.
"I’m a Baron, Sam. My family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country" an old man was waiting by the plane's door. "Servus, Oeznik" Zemo and the butler shared their greeting.
You nudged Bucky with your elbow, "That guy looks like he's suppose to be seven deep under"
Bucky tried to stifle a laugh with a huge smile, Sam however cannot.
"Servus, Lady (Y/N), Lange nicht gesehen" Oeznik turned to you, shaking your hand.
"Dein Meister war ein Schwanz, also bin ich gegangen" You said honestly, Oeznik looked back at Zemo and saw his master gave him a forced smile. You got up the plane first laughing as you heard Bucky chuckled.
The three of you sat down with Sam and Bucky opposite of each other as well as you and Zemo.
Oeznik came back from the plane's kitchen, handing Zemo a drink. "Apologies if the drink is warm, The fridge is out from the last time you both were using it. Would you also like a drink, Lady (Y/N)?"
"I need a whole bottle if you can, Oeznik. Danke" You said, not bothering to look up.
"Don't give her anything" Bucky spoke.
Turning to Bucky but you were met with his eyes glaring daggers to yours. "Fine, Just water then."
You sighed before deciding to take off the guard uniform revealing your tight black shirt that accentuates your chest and a pair of army camo pants, Zemo discreetly looked up from the book he was reading.
"Les yeux baissés ou je te ferai manger du verre" you threatened.
He looks back down and whispered, "Rien que je n'ai jamais vu auparavant"
Unbeknownst to you, Sam was staring at all of this unfold.
"Water for Lady (Y/N)." Oeznik handed you the water as you said a quick thanks, handing him the glass back, "I will see if there is some good food in the galley."
"Wenn es den Geruchstest nicht besteht, geben Sie es den Männern" Zemo smiled.
"It's good to have you back sir" Oeznik spoke before returning back to the kitchen.
"You don’t know what it’s like to be locked in a cell." Zemo beckons to you but then turned to Sam, "Oh. That’s right. You do."
"I am sorry, I am pretty sure it's an overdue explanation on how the hell do you two know each other? You're both speaking French like your going home from a honeymoon or something" Sam asked, the three men was staring at your direction.
"All right, but" you held your hand up. "Let me finish."
"So, mommy and daddy me-" you started.
"(Y/N)!" Sam grunted, "The no jokes version please"
"You're no fun. Anyways, Me and Mister money bags here met when I was helping rescues to one of the Jets while you guys fight Ultron. Thought he was charming with his accent and whatever" you breath, "and then after that I thought I never see him again, what happened to Sokovia and the guilt I was feeling because I helped built Ultron was taking a toll on me so Steve and I had a little space"
"Wait a minute, I thought you went back to the Cryo?" Sam asked.
"I said let me finish" you complained. Sam made a motion of zipping his mouth shout and then nodding, "Yes, everyone thought I was in the Cryo but those months I decided to take a little vacation instead. Here, In Berlin. That's why the little garage was familiar. I was always in the ice since I was sixteen, I bought my dad's bullshit about 'so Tony can have someone' and I didn't know it was just for something he wanted to sell to the military. Instead of being a rowdy teen, I was a lab rat."
"and?" Bucky urged you on
"I saw him there again, charmed me, made me think my inventions on Stark Tech was genius. It was like the teenage love story I never had and of course, I have daddy issues and my old man only viewed Tony's stuff, never resent my brother for that by the way. And I guess that kicked in, It was fun in the first few months of sex and casino Vegas until I eventually caught on that he was using me for Stark Tech and Information"
You saw Sam opened his mouth.
"And before you ask why I didn't turn him in or confront him. It was because his family died when Ultron happened and I- I know how that felt because Mr. Cyborg here killed my parents while I was on Cryo" You looked at Bucky, "I forgive you" you assured but the man gave you a guilty smile.
"I apologize, Schatz." Zemo whispered, "It was never personal."
"You still killed a lot of people Helmut, and If I had known I would've suffocated you while you were sleeping beside me" You leaned back to your seat and crossed your arms, "For what it's worth, It was in the past and I left his ass in a motel."
"I returned home and the accords was shoved in my face with Steve and Tony screaming at each other, I signed of course and just then I was aware of what the fuck was this man was doing, not only was I supplier of tech and info. I was supposed to also be leverage but I guess someone felt a spark huh?" You nod to Zemo but he stayed silent.
You continued, "After all that, I left to be a two faced bitch and helped Steve's team. I told Steve what happened between him and I" you motioned to the man opposite to you, "I was guilty at first until I heard from Nat that Steve had a little something with Sharon too"
"Is that why you just forget about her after she covered for your ass?" Bucky's words struck you like a knife. His sudden change in demeanor surprised you. "No, of course not. I had my neck out while trying to snoop into the government files for a few months, dipshit. I was trying to locate her."
"Ok, ok. Guys, calm down. Let's face our respective windows please" Sam disputed the situation, "Why don’t you tell us about where we’re going?" he faced Zemo.
"I’m sorry. I was just fascinated by (Y/N) and this. I don’t know what to call it, but this part seems to be important. Who is Nakajima?" He questioned Bucky.
You flinched when Bucky got up from his seat and put his hand around Zemo's neck, "If you touch that again, I’ll kill you." snatching the little notebook back.
"I’m sorry. I understand that list of names. People you’ve wronged as the Winter Soldier." Zemo replied, not even showing fear that Bucky almost asphyxiate him.
"Don't push it" Bucky replied back.
"I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice." Sam stated, "I thought you had that?" he turned to you.
"Oh, yeah. I have it to him after we first sle-" you stopped yourself midsentence, "I gave it to him."
"ok..." Sam looked at you suspiciously. He turned back to Bucky, "I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What’d you think?"
Bucky shrugged, "I like ’40s music, so…"
"You didn’t like it?" Sam looked offended
"I liked it." The man reassured.
"It is a masterpiece, James. Complete. Comprehensive. It captures the African-American experience." Zemo commented. Sam face contorts in a way, "Wh- He’s out of line, but he’s right. It’s great. Everybody loves Marvin Gaye."
"I like Marvin Gaye." Bucky states.
"Steve adored Marvin Gay" you replied, adding more fuel to the fire.
Zemo looked at Sam, "You must have really looked up to Steve. But I realized something when I met him. The danger with people like him, America’s Super Soldiers, is that we put them on pedestals."
"Watch your step, Zemo" you warned.
He looked back at you and continued, "They become symbols. Icons. And then we start to forget about their flaws. From there, cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought. You remember that, right? As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull? That is why we’re going to Madripoor."
"Selby's in Madripoor now?" You asked.
"How'd you know Selby? and What’s up with Madripoor? You talk about it like it’s Skull Island."
"When we went to Vegas, he took me to a club and I met Selby. I wasn't myself because I took a couple happy pills to fuel my little rebel phase and I sold her a couple tech."
"I am just realizing now how much of a villain you can be" Sam said. Zemo smiled into the window, reminiscing the past.
"Madripoor's an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago. It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s." Bucky answered.
"It’s kept its lawless ways. But we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves. James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone and (Y/N) you know how to act" Zemo reminded.
You and Bucky looked back at him with a glare but said nothing as you knew he was right. The whole plane went silent and the next hours of ride goes smoothly.
Translation: Servus(German) - Hello / Hase(German) - Bunny (Pet name) / Schatz (German) - Darling / Lange nicht gesehen (German) - Long time no see / Dein Meister war ein Schwanz, also bin ich gegangen(German) - Your master was a dick so I left / Danke(German) -Thank you / Rien que je n'ai jamais vu auparavant (French) - Nothing that I have never seen before / Wenn es den Geruchstest nicht besteht, geben Sie es den Männern (German) - If it doesn’t pass the smell test… give it to the men / Les yeux baissés ou je te ferai manger du verre (French) - Eyes down or I'll make you eat some glass
Taglist: @dottierose / @mrs-marvel / @xxlovingfandomsxx / @afuckingshituniverse / @supernaturalcat7 @iamasimpingh0e @technicallykawaiisoul @sltwins @galaxypox @sapphiredreamer26 @rottenstyx @mochminnie
You reach out to me if you wanna be added or removed. Thanks for reading babes! <3
71 notes · View notes
*GIF is not mine
A/N: I’ve been so inactive, I apologize! There are probably others that can relate to this but I’m in university and work a part-time job as well, which makes finding time and the motivation to sit down and write, SO DIFFICULT!
Anyways, this isn’t what I was planning on posting but when the inspiration strikes you better go with it. Recently I have been wanting to get into shifting so while writing my script I realized that my backstory might make a really cool one-shot.
The stuff in italics is what I already had scripted, so I had tried to do my best and blend it in with an actual storyline, I’m so sorry if it’s shit...
Synopsis: Y/N is feeling very grateful for the life she has and reminisces about the journey she had to take to get to this place.
Paring: Avenger x Avenger!Reader and kind of Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
Word Count: 6.4k
Warning: Abduction, abuse, torture, blood, trauma, PTSD, death and a very little bit of swearing
A feeling of warmth spread through my chest as I watched my friends laughing and conversing around the dinner table. Light danced in their eyes as they listened to other’s stories, the soft candlelight illuminated the faint brush of red on their cheeks from the alcohol in our systems; as I took in the sight before me, it seemed to trigger a flood of emotions to run rampant within my body.
My eyes jumped around the table, first landing on Tony; Iron Man himself, known to some as a billionaire and tech mogul but known to me as a dad. He smiled brightly and shook his head while laughing at something Thor had said; he took a swig of his scotch and leaned back in his chair, positioned at the head of the table, directing a sarcastic quip towards the God.
I laughed along with the others as my gaze drifted to Natasha; the redhead was sitting next to Bruce, who wasn’t drinking but was enjoying himself nonetheless. Nat rolled her eyes at Thor’s antics but remained smiling; I enjoyed just watching her face contort as she listened to the men around the table talk; it’s funny, for a spy, you’d think she’d be better at keeping her facial expressions in check. Natasha was one of my first friends; I met her while she was working as my mom’s “assistant.” Since then, our relationship has really evolved; I consider her more of my older sister than a friend; I was only 16 when we met, and she remained a constant figure in my life. She has always been there for me, especially when I needed to talk about things I couldn’t go to my parents to talk about. She never judged me or held my past against me, and I loved her for that, more so than I think she realizes.
She throws her head back in laughter as a hand comes down to rest on her knee; I follow it up to the handsome blond sitting on the other side of her. Steve is totally enamoured by Natasha’s laugh; his eyes are sparkling as he watches her attempt to control herself, whipping tears from the side of her eyes as tiny giggles still escape her mouth. It astonishes me sometimes how neither one of them will admit that they’re totally and completely in love with one another, even though it’s so painfully obvious to anyone who knows them.
Steve averts his gaze away from Natasha and engages once more with the conversation; his hand, however, is still lingering on top of the spy’s knee. A small smile finds its way onto my face as I watch the two of them; both are so terrified of ruining their friendship that they’re willing to ignore their feelings. It’s adorable but tragic all at the same time.
Much like Nat, when Steve found out where I really came from, he never judged me for what I had to do either. When I first met him, I was 19, during Loki’s rampage and brainwashing of prominent S.H.I.E.L.D. and Avenger members. He had a hard time trusting me initially, partly because Nat, Fury, and my dad immediately changed the subject or shut him down when he asked about my history. But I proved myself to him by saving his life on more than one occasion; eventually, he stopped pressing and accepted that I’d tell him when I was ready. Which I did, only it was two years later and only after he found out that HYDRA was never actually stopped, and his best friend, who he thought was dead, was actually still alive.
Yeah, it took him a few days to get over that…(I’ll explain this in a minute)
But once he forgave me we grew closer; the two of us bonded over one individual in particular. As I raised my hand to grab my wine glass, I became aware of the feeling of eyes on me.
I turned my head to look at Bucky; a small smile graced his face, which caused the corner of his eyes to do that crinkly thing I loved.
“Yeah, just thinking,” I replied, taking a sip from my wine glass.
“Mmm, well, warn me next time so I can run away before you drag me into whatever plan you're concocting up there” He laughs, motioning to my head; I simply responded by staring at him with a fake shocked look plastered across my face.
“Okay..uncalled for, but I seem to recall that you’re always the first person to volunteer to help me with every plan I concoct. Not only that, but not once have any of my plans failed; I come up with amazing plans; thank you very much.”
Bucky lets out a very full laugh, the kind that you feel all the way down in the pit of your stomach, the kind that causes you to throw your head back out of reflex; one that stems from an overwhelming sense of comfort and joy. His laugh draws the attention of the others, their conversation dying down, eyes watching our interaction but smiles never leaving their faces.
Neither one of us were paying attention to the others at this point; we were both just completely enthralled in the presence of one another. We didn’t see Sam’s smirk as he took a sip of his beer, or Wanda’s swoon as she leaned into Vision's side; or the look that Nat shot Tony who watched us with a loving glint in his eyes but masked with fatherly concern, all of it was wholly lost on us.
Nat re-focused on Bucky and me, she smiled broadly because she somehow always knew how I felt about him before I did. Truth be told, her heart swelled with pride whenever she saw us together, Nat knew of Bucky, and I’s past together, and how despite the shit we’ve gone through, we still managed to cultivate something good when the circumstances appeared to be void of the materials needed to do so.
But it was Steve’s expression I wish I had seen, that man held so much love for the two of us and unbeknownst to us, he blamed himself for what happened to Bucky and me. He blames himself for not stopping HYDRA when he had the chance, for not searching for Bucky’s body when he thought he’d lost him. He blamed himself for pushing me to confide in him without taking a step back to acknowledge that my reasoning for not opening up might have nothing to do with him; but everything to do with the fact that I wasn’t ready to relive that trauma again. But right now, in this moment, he feels nothing but complete and utter happiness; to witness Bucky’s smile again, to hear him laugh again, the same way he had when they were kids; It nearly brought tears to the old man’s eyes.
“What’s so funny?” Steve asked
When we looked over, I took in the many pairs of eyes trained on Bucky and myself; a shy smile made its way onto my face as I took another sip of wine from my glass.
“Oh, it was nothing really, I just asked Y/N what she was thinking about,” Bucky said simply; I turned back to him as he took a drink of his beer, his eyes never left mine as he did so, a playful glint danced around in his blue eyes daring me to answer his previous question.
I shook my head and glanced around the table, letting the warmth of their presence fill up my heart until it felt like it would burst.
“I was just thinking about how grateful I am to have you all in my life, that’s all...it just sort of hit me all of a sudden, that this is how it feels to love and be loved; it’s a bit overwhelming and scary, but I’m so thankful that I’m here to experience it.”
I leaned back in my chair and shook my head again, but this time It was just out of disbelief as I thought back to how I got here.
My first memory is cold, dark, and damp. It’s filled with the smell of mildew, rust and the faint hint of blood; the sights were of steel-reinforced bars and cement, brick walls which complimented the solid cement floor and ceilings of my cell. There was, however, a thin blanket; it was white with blue and pink stripes at the bottom and had more of a dish towel texture than what I know now is typical of a child's blanket; I was my only source of comfort, so it makes sense that I’ve held onto it all these years.
I was taken by HYDRA as a baby, raised within the walls of their hidden facility in Russia. They kept me in a small 8x10 cell, no bed, no windows, no toilet...just a bucket and my blanket. Of course, I didn’t know anything besides this life, so it was easy to make do with what I was given.
Every morning, ever since I could walk, they’d take me from my cell to a large circular room with a chair in the middle; there was a large metal machine hanging from the ceiling right above it. As well as other devices lining the walls of the room, each one had blinking lights, buttons, switches and gages, all making various clicking and humming sounds at all times.
They never used the machine hanging above the chair on me; instead, they’d use Pavlovian conditioning techniques. Whereby they’d only give me food or water when I responded correctly to seemingly random words, and if I didn’t respond the way I was supposed to, I’d be electrocuted.
The correct response was always violence. They would utter a Russian word like “Thirteen,” and I was to act unfazed, but if they said “Seventeen,” I was to use whatever means necessary to take down my opponent.
Most days after a conditioning session, they’d strap me into the chair and withdraw blood, sometimes inject me with things; unfortunately, I never knew what they were. Sometimes they’d make me feel hot or cold; I’d get the sweats or chills, sometimes even both. It would sometimes feel like my entire body was on fire or itching so badly that I wanted nothing more than to rip my skin off just to satisfy it.
Gradually, their methods shifted; I was still experimented on; but, once I was conditioned to their liking, they trained me properly. They had me weapons trained as well as in hand-to-hand combat, starting when I was only 6, with little attention paid to the fact that I was just a child. To them, my abilities made me an adult; therefore, I should spar with one too.
They began testing my powers when I turned 8. I hated it. But not for the reason people may think, my powers are overwhelming, so much so that by even giving into them in the slightest means that I sacrifice my ability to control them. I lose myself every time I access my powers, and that’s precisely what they wanted.
They’d (HYDRA) have me fighting at times against three grown men, sometimes none of us would have weapons, and other times, my opponents would be armed, but I would not.
My opponents never looked fazed upon seeing me, knowing that they were tasked with taking down an 8-year-old girl; to them, it was just another day’s chore. I noticed quickly that there was never anything behind their eyes, which always made me wonder what they saw when looking into mine.
One day, they brought in a new opponent. He was tall and had long dark hair. There was a bit of short facial hair visible, and his pale blue eyes appeared void of any thoughts.
Notice how I said appeared?
One of the guards instructed us to begin, but my opponent remained rooted to the spot; the blank expression he wore moments earlier has since been traded in for a new one. His eyes told the story of inner conflict, which the guards and doctors were growing impatient with.
Training was cancelled that day.
When I saw him next, he was restrained; the guards had him seated in a chair as another man was brought into the room. They had me and the second man fight and made the first one watch.
His eyes went blank again, and they appeared to be glossed over like what you’d imagine them to look like when dissociating.
My opponent was strong, more muscular and more prominent than any of my previous opponents - he had managed to get me on the ground in no time; one of his hands was around my throat while the other punched my face repeatedly. I struggled against him, but there was only so much that I could do, even with my enhanced abilities. I could feel my body fighting to let air into my lungs; they burned, my back aches and my head felt fuzzy.
But somehow, this felt better than giving in to the burning hot power coursing through my veins. I could hear it calling to me through the steady thumping of blood within my ears, howling like a strong gust of wind through the rafters.
Then I heard them, those words, and suddenly my eyes glowed blue; I no longer had control of myself.
It no longer mattered that I didn’t want to cave to my powers because now I was forced to do just that.
Thrusting my hand against his chest, I used my powers to throw him off of me. He hit the wall opposite us, then fell to the floor with a thud, leaving a significant impact print on the wall behind him. I got up and walked over just as he tried to get up. The doctor uttered the next set of commands, and as I raised a hand into the air, my opponent was lifted, enveloped by illuminating blue mist - another command - and my hand gradually closed.
When I opened it again, my opponent fell to the floor once more, but this time, lifeless; HYDRA had finally gotten what they wanted...They had finally succeeded in weaponizing me.
He was the only person I killed while held captive by HYDRA (technically), but that doesn’t mean that his death doesn’t still haunt me to this day.
They had placed the dark-haired man from before in the cell next to me a few days after; I remember that on the first night, I fell asleep to the sounds of him crying. At first, we never spoke; neither of us could see the other, but we could sense their presence. But consistently, night after night, I couldn’t seem to fall asleep until after he had finished crying; only after his breathing calmed down and his sniffing subsided could I close my eyes.
There was one night, in particular, that was bad; he couldn’t seem to calm himself down and trying to suppress his emotions only seemed to make it worse. I was exhausted, and sleep had seemed to have become a thing of the past; between the wails of my neighbour in the dead of night to the nightmares...I learned to function on just a few hours of shut-eye.
However, on that night, I couldn’t help but feel especially bad for the man. It confused me and frustrated me; I didn’t understand my emotions, or where they were coming from, all I knew is that I was feeling them and wanted it to stop.
So I used the only thing I knew helped me when I was that upset; my blanket. I gathered the dirty piece of fabric in my hands and ripped it into two; cautiously, I moved to the wall between our two cells and snaked my arm through the bars and around to his side. Once I felt the bars of his cell, I did my best to blindly toss the piece of fabric inside.
As I did this, his crying stopped. It was silent for a moment before I heard it.
It’s silly thinking back on it now, looking at how far we’ve come together, knowing that a thin, tattered up blanket was the beginning of our friendship.
From then on, we watched out for one another; when the guards would come in the morning, he insisted on going first. He still refused to spar with me; part of me wanted to believe that it was because I was only a child, and even though he was brainwashed to act the way they instructed, there was still a part of him that knew it was wrong.
But the more likely reason was that he was scared of me - self-preservation and all that, and I couldn’t exactly blame him because even I was scared of me.
We would sometimes talk too, but at first, it was just him; I didn’t know any English or Russian, they never taught me; all I needed to know were the words they conditioned me to respond to. And when he figured out that this was the case and I wasn’t just ignoring him, he took it upon himself to teach me. This wasn’t the easiest thing to do from opposite sides of a wall, but we made do; and when he could, his first question to me was my name. I can vividly remember the defining silence that followed my response. I didn’t have a name.
He told his name; instead, he said that the people here called him ‘The Winter Soldier,’ so I ended up just calling him Winter. I asked him how he ended up here, to which he told me that they had used that machine to make him forget; he said to me that every day he found himself waking up remembering less and less about himself.
So I promised that I’d remember them for him.
Sometimes when we’d be given food, we’d save some and sneak it back to our cells for the other. I never went on missions, but he did; it helped him talk about them with me. I would always sit there and listen to him as he recounted what they made him do; I’d hear him cry and remind him time and time again that it wasn’t his fault.
And every day, without fail, he would tell me about the world and how much I deserve to see it, live it, and build a life within it; and every day, without fail, I always responded with the same thing.
“So do you.”
We weren’t privy to this knowledge at the time; in fact, I don’t believe that anyone can truly understand the value of something until it’s gone. And unfortunately for us, we were no exception.
When I was 14, the guards must have come in the middle of the night and taken Winter because he wasn’t there when I woke up in the morning. They had come for me later that day, however this time, something about the guards appeared different. I gathered the thin, dirty white blanket that definitely resembled a dish towel now and tied it around my waist under my shirt. As the guards led me down hallway after hallway, I began to hear faint screams, and as I got closer, I came to recognize them as belonging to Winter.
Upon entering the all too familiar circular room, I saw him strapped to the chair; the large metal machine that hung overhead was attached to his face. There were doctors, scientists and guards watching, noting, analyzing his every move as the device electrocuted him, unfazed by his screams. I remember feeling the familiar pounding of my heart in my ears and feeling my powers howling to be set free; tears sprung to my eyes as I watched them turn the dial - increasing the electrocution.
I took a deep breath in an attempt to keep everything under control - I couldn’t risk losing myself and hurting Winter in the process. But then it just stopped. I could no longer hear the hum of the machine, or the scribbling of pencil on paper, or the screams of my friend. As I opened my eyes, I saw one of the doctors walk over to Winter; he began talking to him in Russian - and suddenly, I became aware of what was about to happen.
The guards that brought me here rounded everybody up except Winter, the doctor, and myself and brought them to stand against the walls away from us. The doctor uttered out the last few words and waited; Winter’s head is slumped forwards, and his arms and legs are still restrained in the chair. But he said something to the doctor, it was quiet, and I didn’t manage to catch it, not that I could have understood it.
But the doctor seems pleased; a smile spreads across his face as he turns to me now. The doctor eyes me triumphantly as he tells Winter to begin before walking off to watch with the others.
I look to Winter, his head raises up slowly, and as our eyes meet, a shiver runs down my spine...this isn’t Winter.
I tried to reason with him, moved to dodge his advances as he came hurtling towards me. But realized very quickly that it was useless when he landed a punch to my jaw; I could taste the hint of metal in my mouth as I used my sleeve to wipe away the blood pooling around the right side of my bottom lip.
I did my best to block his movements, but with each defensive maneuver I made, the anger in his eyes only seemed to grow. I did my best to mask the fear in mine; I wasn’t scared of Winter, hell, I wasn’t exactly frightened of The Winter Soldier either; instead, I feared how this would affect Winter after he came back to himself.
One of the guards started yelling, I don’t know what he said, but he leaned down and slid a knife across the floor. I never made a move to grab it, but Winter did. I watched as he stopped to pick it up; he turned it over in his hands, examining it closely; I looked over to the crowd who were all watching. Some were staring at us with curious expressions, others bored or excited; the guard who slid the knife over was laughing with two other guards standing next to him, gesturing to me and mocking my expressions.
Then, impact. And before I could recover, another one came, then another, then another, until I stumbled back and hit the floor. Winter was pretty much on top of me as he continued to throw punches to my upper body; my arms were trapped against my sides by his knees, so I was utterly unable to move.
I felt tears stinging my eyes as I screamed his name; I begged him to recognize me as I pleaded with him to stop. My refusal to use my powers may seem stupid when it’s my life on the line, but I could take solace in the fact that I died on my own terms, not theirs.
Winter stopped for a second, arms by his sides, chest rising and falling rapidly, hair dishevelled and eyes...watery?
He told me to fight back; I just looked at him softly and smiled through the blood filling my mouth.
Tears fell from his eyes as he continued his assault, dragging the knife from halfway up the right side of my neck to just under my left clavicle. I screamed out in pain as I felt the red-hot burn that followed the trail of the blade; Winter kept yelling at me to fight through his sobs. But I just looked at him and shook my head; he punched the ground next to my temple and looked at me.
His hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat, and his cheeks were red and stained with the streaks of his tears. I looked into his eyes; they were bloodshot, making the blue of his irises stand out even more than usual; I recognized his eyes this time.
I think he knew that I had recognized him because he collapsed on top of me as his sobs raked through his body. He attempted to wipe away the blood that covered my face, desperate to undo what he had just done, muttering “I’m sorry’s” between each shallow breath.
I did my best to tell him that it was alright, it wasn’t him and that I didn’t blame him, but it was like he was in a trance. My heart broke for Winter as he got off me; he slid an arm under my back and lifted me up to his chest. I screamed out in pain as he did so, new tears filling my eyes and rushing down my cheeks. He held me tightly to his chest with both arms, rocking us slowly back and forth, still muttering under his breath.
I heard a commotion coming from beside us; Winter was so out of it that he didn’t seem to register the noise. I lobed my head over to see what was going on when I made eye contact with a guard; he had a handgun in his hand and had it pointed at Winter.
There was hatred in the guard’s eyes, and at that moment, there was hatred in mine too. In a split-second decision, I decided to ignore the pain I felt in my whole body, the feeling of the blood on my skin and Winter's grip on my arms. I allowed for my powers to wash over me at full strength, my eyes glowed blue, and I saw fear in the guard’s eyes before everything went black.
The ceiling was blue now...not gray.
This was the first thing I saw when I woke up; the shade of blue was light, it had splotches of white all over it, and it was unlike anything I had ever seen. There was stuff falling from above me; they were small and gray and appeared almost fluffy; then, just off to the periphery of my vision, I could see brown somethings; they looked squiggly.
I took a deep breath, it hurt like hell, but I could never remember a time when breathing felt this good. I did my best to prop myself up, wincing in pain and clenching my eyes shut to hold back the tears as I did so. When I was fully sitting upright and felt like I had enough composure to open my eyes, I immediately wished that I hadn’t.
The scene was grizzly; there were people - doctors, guards, scientists and other subjects littering the ground before me; dead. The room I was just in was blown to pieces, along with the entire right side of the building. The gray stuff falling from above was dust from the cement bricks being blown to pieces; there were wires, and machines everywhere, along with papers, tapes, and other equipment.
I just sat there, looking at everything around me blankly. In retrospect, I don’t think that I was entirely able to comprehend what I saw and actually register that It was me that had done it.
As I attempted to stand up, I placed my hand behind myself for leverage. But instead of the tile floor, my fingertips met something cool with sharp ridges. As I moved to get a better look, a sob caught in my throat; my hand grasped the metal and brought it closer, turning it over to see the familiar red star.
Suddenly I heard a twig snap in the distance, my head shot up and slowly I was surrounded by countless people, dressed in all black, they had goggles and helmets on; each one of them had a large gun as well, and every one of them was trained on me.
S.H.A.P.E., better known as ‘The Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers of Europe’ council, apprehended me that day. They had taken me to their headquarters in Russia, treated my injuries and interrogated me. I couldn’t answer any of their questions because I didn’t know Russian, so they tried to ask me in English, but that didn’t go very well either, considering how limited my knowledge of the language was.
They ran my fingerprints and DNA and came up with nothing; this perplexed them greatly, so they decided to call in the big guns. It turns out that S.H.A.P.E is a subset of S.H.I.E.L.D, not that I knew what that meant at the time, but their first call was to S.H.I.E.L.D.’s executive director, Agent Nick Fury.
Unbeknownst to me, HYDRA was planning something big; all the major world terrorist groups were racing to develop the “best” weapon of mass destruction (MOD). HYDRA was in communications with an Afghani terrorist organization; they bragged to HYDRA that they’ve kidnapped the United States tech billionaire, Tony Stark, who had constructed a prototype for an armoured military suit with A.I, lasers, and other weapons; essentially bragging that they had won.
Tony would listen to their conversations, the two organizations spoke via underground radio frequencies; never calling the other by name, the only place; Tony was never sure if that was because they were unaware of each other’s affiliations or if they were both scared of governments eavesdropping on their communications.
Russia. The name of the group on the other side of the call; had said something that piqued Tony’s interest after the afghani’s had finished bragging about their captive and his suit. They had claimed to have developed a fully operational war machine, equipt with powers that the world has never seen and strength no planet has ever known; they called it subject alpha, and they planned on letting it loose on the world very soon.
Once Tony had escaped, he had told S.H.I.E.L.D.’s executive director Nick Fury about what he had heard, so Fury had informed the European council to remain vigilant. Neither one of them was expecting to receive a call days later about a young girl found at the center of a massive energy surge in the middle of the Russian wilderness or to hear of the destruction and carnage that she had caused when troops had arrived.
Fury arrived at S.H.A.P.E. the morning after they called; he had requested to meet with me immediately. The staff informed him of my limited knowledge of the English language and the fact that I haven’t slept or eaten since being taken into custody. Fury enters the cell they’re keeping me in and takes a seat on a chair positioned in the corner. I sat curled up with my knees to my chest in the opposite corner of the cell and haven’t moved from this spot since they brought me here.
He asked me my name, and I told him that I didn’t have one. He smiles sadly at me, taking in my appearance; this was the first time in a long time that I looked or felt even remotely clean; that being said, it still felt like there was a permanent layer of dirt covering my skin, not to mention the fact that my body was littered in cuts and bruises. I had a couple of large white bandages covering the expanse of exposed skin, including the one peeking out from the top of my shirt, covering the large gash on my neck and chest.
He decided to change tactics; he pulled out a binder; the inside contained various pictures; the goal was to use basic English to ask me if I recognized any of the images. We spent hours doing this, and I did my best to understand what he was asking of me and formulate an appropriate response. Fury manages to collect more information from me in a few hours than S.H.A.P.E. agents were able to collect in nearly two days.
He sets the binder aside and looks at me; his exposed eye appears soft, almost trusting. He tells me that what happened wasn’t my fault, that HYDRA is to blame for what happened, not me; That was the first time I heard the name of my captors. He knelt down in front of me, still keeping his distance, and asked me how old I was; I knew this question because Winter had asked me once before. I told him that I was 14; he looked at me sadly and asked me how long I was there, to which I responded honestly and told him my entire life.
He paused for a moment, looking at his hands before rising to his feet. He looked at me solemnly and told me to follow him, that there was someone he wanted me to meet.
Fury took me back to America with him; the whole plane ride, he talked on the phone while I was trying to take in everything about my surroundings. Taking off was scary; it was bumpy, and my ears stopped working for a little bit, but they eventually came back.
We landed hours later, and it was dark but really bright; there were all kinds of white and yellow circles that I could see from the air as we landed, illuminating the sky. As we got off the plane, there was a large group of people waiting for us.
I stood next to Fury as old men in suits approached; I took a few steps back and clung tighter to the tattered piece of white fabric in my hands. They spoke to Fury very sternly, I didn’t understand anything they were saying, but they didn’t appear very happy with me being here.
I looked down towards the ground at my shoes, suddenly finding them more interesting than the conversation around me. A voice brought me back; it was a woman’s voice; as I looked up, a tall orange-haired woman walked towards me with a smile.
I remember looking at her apprehensive before taking a few more steps backwards; I watched as her smile faltered; she gave me the same sad look Fury gave me hours prior. There was a man behind her with a funny-looking beard; he grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him; his eyes never left mine once; they appeared untrusting.
I felt tears begin to gather in my own eyes; shame and guilt became caught in my throat. I began to mutter the exact words I heard Winter say over and over, “I’m sorry’s,” fell from my lips like water from a tap, and I couldn’t seem to get it under control.
The group stopped to watch me slowly break down into a fit of hysterical sobs, Fury attempted to approach me, but I shook my head, stopping him in his tracks. I continued to mutter under my breath, which grew more and more erratic, so I took my blanket and pulled it tightly around my shoulders and upper arms. My palms clutched the ends of it tightly while rubbing my arms as I attempted to self-soothe. Everyone had stopped talking and simply watched; feelings of confusion, anger, and hostility immediately faded into feelings of pity, sympathy and sadness.
All of which are feelings that I quickly grew to despise being directed towards me, which I used as further reason to shove my emotions down and live as if nothing was wrong. I know that this isn’t healthy, trust me, my therapist and I have had heated arguments over my tendency to bottle things up; but the last thing I wanted was to be analyzed any further.
It was my fear that if I confided in someone, opened up Pandora's box and had to relive my trauma, that I’d never be able to close it again. That they’d look at me like I was crazy or...or look at me like I wasn’t even human; that they’d realize they were wrong and lock me up again, but this time, throwing away the key for good.
I looked back up at them, I knew that tears were running freely from my eyes, but I didn’t care. The others' faces held varying expressions; happiness, love, contentment, and the occasional flash of pity or sadness, but just like my lack of concern that I was crying in front of my team, I didn’t care that they still held the most minute feelings of pity towards me. At the end of the day, I can’t control their emotions, only my own, and it was with their help that I finally understood the difference; I learned control, I learned how to let people in, I learned how to love and how to let others love me.
Now, this is what my therapist would call a breakthrough, but I’ll deny it ever happened if she somehow managed to find out (okay, I may still have things to work on, but I have to keep our sessions interesting somehow, right?).
Bucky took my hand in his under the table, giving it a gentle squeeze; I took a deep breath and looked over to him. I watched as his eyes scoured my face, moving from peering into my own to glance down at my lips then back up to my eyes again, adoration gracing the expanse of his face.
I’m 28, and I know that our relationship is unconventional, complicated and some may even say that it’s inappropriate. But when you’ve experienced shitty things in your life and made it out the other side only kind of messed up, then when good things come around, even if you’re scared; you learn to jump at them because you know what it’s like to experience the bad and not have anyone there to brave the storm with you.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I guess that I’m just lucky to have so many people in my life who are willing to walk ahead of me, endur the brunt of the storm so that it’s easier for me to walk through it.
And that I’m able to say that I’d do the same for any one of them in a heartbeat.
85 notes · View notes