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marvel-and-mischief · 1 year

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❄️ December Writing Challenge ❄️

Day 19. Reading

Pairing: Steven Grant x GN!Reader Words: 990 Warnings: none!

December Writing Challenge masterlist

[A continuation from Day 11. Knit/Crochet/Crafts]

It’s been a month since you and Steven met in the education room of the British museum. Since then you’ve been on numerous dates from picnics in the park, to perusing the smaller museums on the outskirts of the city. You’re both having fun, hoping it will lead to something solid in the future but for now simply enjoying each others company.

As for your kids, they've been pressuring you to take them back to the museum every day since. They won’t stop talking about their first visit, particularly the part about meeting Steven and hearing all the interesting facts he told them. So you set up another school trip, this time to take part in a reading session.

When you arrive, kids in tow, Steven greets you at the door of the education room wearing a nervous smile, saying your name a little too loud for the quiet of a Monday morning.

“Kids, good to see you again,” he peeks around your shoulder to give them an enthusiastic wave that is returned in equal enthusiasm by every kid. “I have set up the room for maximum comfort, so get settled down ready for a truly gruesome story.”

You both step aside to let the children into the room. That’s when you see what Steven means; the ceiling lights are off and he has set up two star projectors in opposite corners of the room to light up the walls; the tables and chairs are nowhere to be seen, instead the floor is covered in blankets and pillows for the kids to sit on with two large cushions at the front for you and Steven. You look on in awe as Steven fidgets beside you.

“Is it too much? I just wanted to make it special for them, y’know?”

“Steven, they love it,” you nod towards the kids excitedly chattering away, pointing to the stars and sharing blankets with their friends. Steven feels a puff of pride in his chest when he sees your reaction.

It takes a while to settle the kids down, but once they’re comfortable you hold up the book you’re going to read.

“Today we’ll be reading about some of the Gods that Ancient Egyptians worshipped.”

You feel Steven cringe beside you, giving him an inconspicuous questioning glare. He half smiles, you’re unconvinced but decide to let it go.

You hold the book up with one hand, making sure the children can see as you turn to the first page showing a cartoon drawing of the pyramids in the desert.

“Before we start, who can tell me what the gods looked like?”

Various children put their hands up. You point at a girl at the back of the room to answer.

“Animals. Like my dog and cat at home,” she says confidently.

“That’s right. They usually looked like animals that Egyptians were familiar with.”

You see Steven’s fingers twitch where he’s holding tightly to the cushion he’s sat on. You know he wants to add to the story, probably to remark on how it isn’t entirely accurate that they were animals. You’d had a talk with him the night before, reminding him that your kids are only six and they can’t process the details of the Ennead however much he may think they’d be interested. But he knows you’re right, so he keeps quiet throughout the rest of story time, until the kids attention spans are beginning to wane and you close the book.

“Did everyone enjoy the story?” They nod, muttering between themselves about which god is now their favourite.

“Who would like to hear about Steven’s favourite god?”

Everyones ears prick up, suddenly alert, eyes widening in Steven’s direction as they wait to learn what he will say. Steven turns to you like a deer in headlights, needing confirmation that it’s okay to speak.

“Go on,” you quietly and confidently urge, “tell them a story.”

It takes a moment for Steven to process the information, but he soon huffs in relief when he realises you’re not joking.

“Well, actually,” he says, a spark of joy in his eyes as he turns to the children in front of him, “it’s a goddess. And her name is Taweret.”

The children are glued to Steven’s animated description of Taweret, how she protects children like themselves and her magical powers that help people pass into the underworld. You watch as Steven growls in an impression of a hippo, making everybody laugh. He is a natural storyteller, and every single child is enamoured by him.

By the time he’s finished info dumping it’s lunchtime but nobody wants to leave the room.

“How about we eat our lunch in here and Steven can tell us more about the ancient gods?”

The children reply in a chorus of ‘yes’s.

“Oh, are you sure? I don’t want to bore them,” Steven chuckles self-consciously, which you’re quick to dismiss.

“You’re so easy to listen to. I’d love you to keep speaking. But only if you want to.”

In the dark you take Steven’s hand, giving it a light, reassuring squeeze which he reciprocates. Of course he wants to talk about something he knows everything about, especially when you want him to.

“Alright. But there’s so many to go through we’ll be here all day!”

“Why don’t I name a few and you can give us only the most interesting facts about them?”

“Yeah, that sounds good-“ Steven stops himself suddenly, a thought occurring to him when he holds up a finger in pause, “lets not mention Khonsu though.”

“You really don’t like him, do you?” You frown in amusement, remembering one of your first conversations being how much Steven thought he was a ‘manipulative old bird’ and ‘he’s not even one of the good ones’.

“We all have our favourites right? Well, he’s not one of them,” Steven explains.

You smile affectionally and agree, and get back to story time with the children.

#wwdilfcember #december writing challenge #Steven Grant #Steven Grant x reader #Steven Grant x gn!reader #moon knight #marvel #mcu

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tastybluesprite · 1 year

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Beautiful (Marc Spector x Teen Reader)

Reader is bullied and teased at school for severe burn scars she has from a traumatic experience she experienced when she was younger. Marc does anything he can to be able to make you feel better and comfortable in your own skin. (I tried my best to make it so the reader can be read as male, female, or anything else. If I made any mistakes regarding this or anything else please let me know!)

Warnings: Bad words, small mention of suicide, allow self confidence

You were running. Faster and faster. You hope that if you run fast enough, no one will be able to see you. You had just been humiliated by a group of kids in front of your whole school. You had a burn scar all over your entire right side. You usually wore a mask on your face, or made sure that part of your face was covered with your own hair. You were holding back tears as you desperately tried to make your way back to the apartment.

You made to open the door, but you were so weak from running and sadness that you crumbled to the floor, curled up into a ball, and started to cry.

You must’ve made a lot of noise from this, because you hear a door open. You heard the persons footsteps draw nearer and you recoil away from the direction where the noise came from.

“It’s ok. You know I won’t hurt you.” You relaxed when you heard a voice you recognize, except you’ve never heard it sound so gentle before.

You feel him pulling you up slowly and he leads you into his own apartment.

Marc Spector sat you down on his couch. You tried to wipe your tears away as he leaves to the kitchen for a second. You hear an exchange between his voice and another similar one in British. You knew about his DID and about Steven. You were super close friends with the pair of them.

When Marc came back, he handed you a mug. It had a hot liquid in it. You sip it and taste something sweet.

“Steven insisted that this would help you feel better.” Marc said with a small smile.

“Now.” He added, “do you want to tell me why you were out in the hallway crying?”

You take a shuddering breath, “I-I almost made it t-to my apartment, but… I guess I didn’t.”

He seemed amused by your vague answer but didn’t laugh. “Ok… now do you want to tell me why you were really out in the hallway crying?”

You hesitate for a moment.

“B-Because I got made fun of at school.. t-these kids w-were laughing at m-my s-scars-“

You couldn’t continue anymore because just then you began to cry again. This time a bit harder then moments before.

“I’m ugly! I’m repulsive! I’m disgusting!” You shout all of these statements into your hands as if your life depended on it. Marc looked shocked. He wondered, how could you say that about yourself? Didn’t you realize how untrue all that was? Anger seemed to fill his face. For a moment you think his anger is it’s directed at you, but then he exhaled and muttered, “Those fucking assholes…”

You flinch at the sudden tone change. Your face was puffy and red and you couldn’t stop crying. He wrapped his arms around you and held you tight as you cried into his chest.

Soon you were able to calm down and stop crying. Once he saw you were feeling better, he held you out away from him and cupped your face. “Y/n… don’t you ever think for a second that those things those kids said to you meant anything.”

You feel fresh hot tears starting to run down your face and he wipes them away with his thumbs. “You are so, so beautiful. Anyone saying other wise is jealous.”

“But why should they be jealous? I’m ugly! What’s so beautiful about my appearance?!”

Marc gave a look that indicated him to be inspecting you. “Hmm let’s see… you have beautiful eyes,” he lightly pokes next to your eye, “you have beautiful hair,” he strokes at your hair, “and best and most importantly of all, you are a beautiful person. You are so caring, so kind, so sweet, and such a wonderful human being. You wouldn’t hurt anyone like those people did to you. That’s what truly makes someone beautiful. And that is why, you are more beautiful than any of them combined. They can wear the best clothing and wear the best make up, but no matter what they do, they will still be ugly for acting so horrible.”

He kissed the scarred portion of your forehead and puts it against his. “Don’t you ever think for a moment that you are not beautiful. Because from what I see, you’re one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met.”

#sprite🥤#fanfiction #fanfic writer #marc spector x reader #marc spector fluff #angst to comfort #marc spector angst #angst #comfort #bullied reader

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thepropertylovers · 10 months

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9 Readers Share Tips for Teaching Your Child to Become a Better Reader

We’ve been trying to get our oldest into reading more. Right now, he doesn’t enjoy reading, but I think that’s mostly because he hasn’t really learned how to read well yet. He can read almost all words, but he’s struggling to comprehend and really get into the story, and a lot of that is a lack of interest.

We read to him almost daily, we have him read aloud to us, and we ask him what the story he’s reading is about. We’ll get there, I just know it.

In an effort to get him caught up, I asked you for tips on how to help your child become a better reader, and you gave us so much good advice that I wanted to share (thank you!). If you’re looking for some advice in this area, below are a few of your responses, and if you want to see the rest, you can click here.

“Get them books about what they are interested in. For example, if you plan a vacation, find books about what you can see and do there. If you are going to a movie, find books about the topic ahead of time. Get some books about the baby animals on the farm or sports they like.

Read aloud to them. Pick a book as a family and read a chapter every night (or day). 3. Let them see you read. They need to see that reading is a fun and pleasurable experience, not just a subject in school. Maybe the entire family puts aside electronics for 30-60 minutes every night and reads. Then, share something about what was read.

This is important and is often skipped, but TALK to them about what they are reading. Not only can you check their comprehension but you are sending the message that what they are reading is important to you.” -Sue

“Go to the public library together, let the kids pick out books, and read to them as a family. Ask questions about the stories. Another wonderful option is to listen to audio books.'“ -Patrick

“In my experience a series that draws their interest and will make them want to read. For me it was Harry Potter my aunt read and recorded the first 10 chapters for me to follow along then when I wanted to know what happened I had to start reading the book so I could find out.” -Andrew

“This sounds ridiculous but we taught [our child] how to read by putting subtitles on her favorite shows. She started associating the words with the pictures.” -Jill

“Phonics... if you/kids can "sound out" a word, they can pretty much read anything. "Hooked On Phonics" seems to be most widely used but there are 100's of books available here.” -Steve

“7 Keys to Comprehension How to Help Your Kids Read It and Get It by Susan Zimmerman and Chryselephantine Hutchins. You can get it on Amazon for $12. I used this book when I was a teacher and when I was literacy coach. I had amazing results using this book as a guide.” -David

“Make it a game, be consistent with time of day. Play the characters . Reread the same material. Switch between you reading to the child and the child reading to you. Age appropriate with pics to give clues. Dr Seuss is your friend.” -Steven

“Phonics! If your child cannot hear the parts of a word then they cannot read the parts of a word. You have to start with learning by sound before you ever look at the print word. Best skills for this: rhyming, give them 2 words that rhyme and one that doesn’t have them pick out the incorrect one. Syllables. Have them clap ( or my favorite hum) a word and tell you how many parts are in the word. Give them a word such as fan. Say if you take out the “f” sound in fan and replace it with the “p” sound what word do you have? These make great games for car rides, while your cooking dinner and they are helping, or really anytime.

Also, any and all Jack Hartman videos on YouTube. They are fun and really help with learning letter sounds/blends/ and he even has topics for other subjects!

All of these will really help learning the basics of the word and lead to a better more confident reader!” -Kate

“I’m an English teacher and Mom. This is what I do with my kids.

Get their Lexile level from their iReady report.

Then choose a book they are very interested in, that is just a little above their lexile (which is their independent reading level). Have them read to you, but when they get stuck on a difficult word, model how you work through or sound out that word (I often cover half of the word, to make it more approachable).

If they are in chapter books and get fatigued, finish the chapter for them.” -Samantha

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rubiesintherough · 2 years

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dealing with a lot of sexism and other bad not fun thoughts today about men doing bad things, so imma write a little drabble of jane girlbossing at her previous job bc i can, and yes i am living vicariously thru her bc i do not possess the same confidence but god do i wish i did. she will be referred to as Katy in this tho bc that’s her real name, and this is prior to the incident happening

Her previously shifting chair squeaked to a halt. Her body leaned back, gaze narrowing up at Steven, her knuckles rapping on the meeting room’s table to draw his attention back to her. If he thought he was going to get away with a comment like that, he had another thing coming.

“ What did you just say? “

He glanced back, the smugness on his stupid, bearded face just begging her to deck him. But, with great difficulty, Katy refrained.

“ Are you on your period? Is that why you’re getting so mad? “ He said it slow, as though he was trying to get a point across to someone beneath him, leaning across the table toward her. The readiness with which he repeated, not even a second thought, was a dismal point in and of itself, she thought.

“ In fact, I am, “ she countered, voice smooth, measured, “ And I consider that a good thing. It proves that, unlike some people in this room, I managed to mature past puberty. “

The sound of their coworkers’ stifled, snorted laughter briefly filled the room. And Steven drew back at that, his features twisting into a scowl, and mouth opening to shoot back a retort. But, before he could even form the first syllable, Katy’s hand rose, gesturing up and down his suited frame with a disdainful wave.

“ Oh, looks like there’s a lot of testosterone flowing through there. Maybe you should stop letting those hormones make you so emotional. “ And, with that, she stood, gathering her folders up in her arms, “ I think this meeting can be adjourned until after lunch. I’ll see you all in here, again, 1:30pm sharp. “

And Katy excused herself to the sound of Steven’s stewing, quietly sputtering anger with a grin.

-------------------------------------------------------------

She was only two bites into her salad when the summons came, delivered by a nervous looking secretary, and Katy pushed her lunch aside and followed her back to the head’s office, shoving open the door and planting herself on the chair by the desk. Mr. Jansen was seated with hands folded, giving her a look of disapproval, like a grandfather might give a disobedient child.

“ Thank you for coming, Miss Byrne. Do you know why I called you in today? “

“ I do. “

He gave a satisfied nod and began tapping his pen slowly, absentmindedly on the desk. “ I’m sorry to have to do this, but given your behavior earlier --- “

“ I’m going to stop you right there, “ Katy interjected sharply, “ You aren’t going to discipline me for anything. I didn’t do anything wrong. All I did was stand up to Steven’s extremely inappropriate and sexist comments... comments, I will point out, he has been making for months, now, with no action from you. ----- And if you try to take any sort of disciplinary action against me for that, I will walk out that door today, and you will lose one of your best writers. And then I will report this bigoted work environment to every news source that will listen, and I’ll plaster it across every social media. We’ll see how your loyal readers, many of them being women, take that news. We’ll see how many of them renew their subscription next month. “

Mr. Jansen’s face was calm, but she’d been working here long enough. She noticed his tell, the tiny twitch at his brow, so quick it was almost imperceptible. His pen tapped quicker and he cleared his throat, the only sounds to break the silence for a moment.

“ Alright, Miss Byrne. How do you propose we handle this, then? “

She sat straighter, confident, glad this bet had played off so well. “ Maybe some mandatory lectures and classes on how to treat his coworkers, and on proper workplace behavior? Actually address the issue many of his female colleagues have been complaining about? “

“ Thank you, I’ll take that under advisement. “

“ Am I excused? “

He gave a quick nod and turned to his computer, seemingly quite ready to be done with this conversation... the one he was so keen on having just moments ago. She kept that funny thought to herself, though, and let herself out of his office, and made her way back to the employee lounge. Someone had thrown her salad away in the time she’d been gone, but that didn’t even bother her too much. Her victory today would carry her through the day way better than a chicken ceasar.

#sexism tw #drabble ( jane )#(( do n.ot reblo.g ))

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wolfgangisdead · 2 years

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for whom the sun rises

part one

moon knight (tv show)

Steven Grant x Oc, Marc Spector x Oc

enemies/frenemies to lovers (Marc), friends to lovers (Steven), Angst, fluff, potential ooc Steven, I'm essentially making this up as I go

NOTE there's been a change in Khnum's design, he'll be from now on described as having an actual ram head. It's easier to draw and seems more fitting for him as the Divine Potter. I also feel like I'm consistently going to not write Steven's personality well at all so if anyone has any tips on writing him better feel free to send them! I'm confident I'd be better with Marc. i feel like it's obvious this is my first fanfic in years lmao

Khnum is far more displeased by the idea of being in London than anything else. Millie knows him to be a quieter god, unlike others, and yet when they had first set foot in London, all he did was mention how horrid it was that it was grey and bleak. He'd rather be in Egypt, basking in the rays, or perhaps Rome or Greece, watching the 'idiots', as he put it, wrestle until someone is declared a winner.

"There is doubt in your mind, child, speak it before it destroys you," he follows behind her, visible to no one else except for her. It's a shame, really. A nearly nine foot behemoth of a ram, staring you down with his piercing goat-like eyes? Yeah, she's sure the humans would love that.

"we are in London and there's no tasks for me," she retorts with a frown, "I can't simply wait on Steven to be my friend, give me something to do."

"You want for something to do? You desire to fiddle and work? Then you shall," he says, but she knows there's a catch, "befriend Steven. You have so little friends, it is pitiful."

"Oh, you're an ass, I was already planning to befriend him anyway. He seems sweet, and so genuinely... lost? I just have a need to help him, okay? Like it's... why am I talking to a god that only I can see as if he's my best friend." She stares blankly, ignoring the way the people that walk past her send her odd looks. Just another delusional American to them, she supposes.

"Back in my youth, everyone had friends, but you? You have a man who looks upon you and wishes you were another," he replies, unbothered, "you must get out and socialize. Your apartment is not nearly as comfortable as you think."

Millie stares at him, but then she sighs heavily. Back in his day? Yeah, back in his fucking day you married at thirteen, had five kids by sixteen, and died by your late twenties, early thirties. He's older than sliced bread, women's rights, and cellphones. It's amazing he's even talking in a language she knows fluently.

"Do you think Set is in the market for an avatar? I think working for him would be fun." She hears Khnum snort from behind her.

"You don't have the heart to kill, child, why else do you think he left you?"

—

"You're sweet, Steven," Millie snorts, walking at his side after an evening getting the best steak in town. "You deserve better than that gift shop. You know so much, it's wasted if you aren't sharing it! Especially if the museum isn't even attempting to get their information correct!"

"I can't complain, a job's a job, after all," he shrugs lightly, "I like it. It's not so bad. What do you do?"

"I restored things in a museum, typically it was Egyptian artifacts, but I left after the world threw me some problems. Now I travel, do odd jobs here and there." She responds, biting her lip. "I can't imagine we could open a museum, eh? Just the two of us and all that? Your brains my restoration skills?"

His face flushes and he looks away. "N-No, no, I suppose not... Seems awfully expensive... Sounds like fun, though."

"Do you do anything outside of work?" She cocks her head to the side, inwardly cursing herself for being so prying. "I ask because it'd be nice to meet up again!"

"I research a lot, mainly Ancient Egypt, but I read poetry too. I've got a goldfish, Gus, he's my little one-finned wonder." The way he speaks of his fish reminds her of how dog owners speak of their pups. It's cute, really.

"Do you have a favorite poem?" She asks quietly, then she adds, "do you read poetry to your fish?"

Steven laughs at that. It's a quiet, reserved laugh almost, but he laughs all the same. "No, but should I? Do you think he'd like it? If I read to him?"

"Yeah, I think he would. Of course he might not remember it, goldfish don't have a long memory," she snickers, "but I think he'd like it all the same."

"You're telling the boy to talk to his fish? And here I thought your time with Marc was depressing."

"It's pathetic, innit? You seem to have such a wonderful life, and I'm just someone who talks to his fish... you must be bored." He looks away, as if he had gone through this same thing many times before.

"Why would it be pathetic? People talk to their dogs and cats, why not fish? It's charming," she muses, "hey, maybe I can get myself a fish! That way we can talk about our fishes!"

They walk for a while longer before they go separate ways for the night. He had walked her to her apartment, though, which was very sweet. But she can tell that he's reserved. Shy is an understatement, but she probably has enough energy for the both of them, anyway.

—

"You actually went out and bought a fish," Khnum muses, "you could have made one, you know. What is the point of being the avatar of the Divine Potter if you will not use the powers bestowed to you?"

Millie presses her face against the glass of the tank. "I used the powers to make money so I could afford the tank, that has to count for something. But it's cute, I think I understand why Steven talks to Gus."

"Because he has no friends and neither do you? Yes, I do think I understand now, too." He replies, eyes narrowed. One of his ears twitch out of annoyance. "Your duty is to create, Millicent. There is unease in the world of the gods, and while people destroy, you are here fraternizing with a fish. You are more suited to Tawaret. You are not normal, and you never will be. To pretend otherwise is to delude yourself and you are better than that."

His words remind her of the very same reason she and Marc never got along in the first place. She was bound to creation, Marc was bound to vengeance. Khonshu had no qualms against killint to get the revenge he deems necessary, but a god of creation? Khnum would never willfully allow for the loss of life. Creation, and pro-creation are his thing, not death and destruction. She could create beasts to kill on her behalf, but it does not change the fact that she would be killing. But she was never a killer and one day, her inability to kill almost cost Marc someone important.

"You remind me that I'm not a killer, but sometimes I wonder what it would take to kill a god."

"If you cannot be a hero without having to kill, how can you consider yourself any better than them?" His eyes pierce into her soul, dark and inquisitive. "He will never look upon you as an equal because you do not kill when he deems you must. So, simply show him what you are capable without killing."

"Like what? Beat the shit out of him and call it a day?" She turns to look at Khnum but there's no one but empty space and what looks like to be some sand.

So, he expects her to be strong enough not to kill and powerful enough to be equal to a man of vengeance? She can do that.

#moon knight #cezn's writing #moonkight #steven grant #marc spector #khonshu #khnum #lmao i accidentally posted this and had to panic post it privately #khnum is like a hard to impress father or like the roommate that doesn't approve of your choices in men

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permafusion-stevonnie · 3 years

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So this idea isn’t leaving my head. While I’m not going to get it started for now, since I want to concentrate on my current Stevonnie comic, ideas are still ticking away and I just really wanted to draw this cover for the idea.

Maybe I’ll get its own page started in time. I’ll let you know if I do. But even if I did, I wouldn’t expect regular updates to it, not while I’m working on Together Forever.

I want to quickly say something that I think some people may have gotten confused about when I was talking about the Fallout Universe before:

Crystal Gems are still called Crystal Gems, but their role is similar, but not the same as the Brotherhood of Steel. In that they are isolationists, who will try to protect humanity from dangerous gem technology, and corrupted gems. they aren’t bothered with human mutants, human problems, or human technology. But I feel that, ove time, Steven will help their character growth away from this and help them, at least, start opening up to the local comminuty and helping where they can.

Homeworld Authority is still called Homeworld, or The Authority, but take on a similar role to the Enclave. They view themselves as the rightful masters of earth and they’re automatically more superior to any other lifeform by birthright.

I have been thinking over what could have occurred to create this world, how’s this for a (work in progress) backstory: (ended up a lot longer than I thought it would, so I’m space saving by putting in this break)

The Gem colonisation of earth happened later than it did in canon. A couple of thousand years, maybe. Unlike the 6000 years ago in canon, it was perhaps 5000, or maybe 4000 years ago. Enough for a bigger human civilisation to take part in the gem war for earth.

Pink still gets her colony started, still changes her mind about it, and finally chooses to become Rose Quartz to lead the rebellion. I think the human zoo will still be made, because I like the idea of that being around to give a mash-up of the human zoo and the mother ship zeta dlc from Fallout 3.

What really diverges from the timeline is when the rebellion starts fighting back with larger groups of human allies. 4000 (or 5000) years ago we are talking some good military strategies, chariots, bows and arrows, cavalries and tactics, etc. Some research will be needed to really flesh out the lore.

Homeworld, facing a bigger threat than a hundred or so rebels, puts a little more effort into research and development of newer technologies to counteract the human strategies. Nothing develops technologies quite like war.

Rose and the others start capturing some technologies from Homeworld and start studying them to not only understand them, but even attempting to reverse engineer them. They obviously won’t be able to replicate the weapons in form, but hope to do so in function.

This is where Scribes would come in for the Crystal Gems are the replacement for the Brotherhood of Steel that I’ve talked about before. Some Gems and some clever humans, would dedicate themselves to trying to understand the newer Gem technology they’re starting to see.

With inventive people like Bismuth to build their own version of it.

The actual Gem Technology will be locked away in the temple- or whatever name I may give it- but the remake versions that the Crystal Gems turn out will be spread far and wide.

I’m just thinking off the top of my head, but it’d be like- if they tried to make their own version of the gem destabiliser, it would be like a giant tuning fork hooked up to something similar to a large Baghdad Battery (google it, it’s kinda cool) that they would carry in a backpack.

The war would carry on like that, with Homeworld making new tech to combat the threat, sooner or later the rebellion captures some, they make their own version of it, and Homeworld makes new tech to combat the threat.

This drain on resources does take its toll on Homeworld though, and their war against earth is perhaps much shorter, between 300 and 800 years, I haven’t decided yet.

Things do play out similar to canon though. Homeworld decides to abandon earth as a lost cause, implant the Cluster so they’ll get something out of the deal and the three Diamonds blast the earth with their powers as a final middle finger to the rebels.

Gems are destroyed, except for the original Crystal Gems, and Bismuth! Canon Bismuth made a lot of regular weapons and armour and the rebellion was still losing. She was driven to making the Breaking Point because she didn’t think they had a chance of winning any other way. In this new canon, however, because Bismuth was working on newer and newer weapons all the time, each one she was confident would help turn the tide of the war, she never had chance to work on the ultimate weapon of the Breaking Point. She may have designed it, or may have the idea kicking around the back of her mind, but never got around to building it.

Rose does her thing of finding somewhere isolated to live in both peace and regret for the war. This is where the Crystal Gems become isolationists

With the Gems gone, humans are left to their own devices with all this more advanced technology than they should have in this point in history. Tech continues to develop with this head start.

Fast forward to the year 1929 and people are living lives as you’d see in the Fallout universe in the 2070′s. Nuclear fulled cars, robot assistants, laser rifles and power armour and all that other stuff.

The reason I chose 1929 is two-fold. The first Fallout game was set 84 years after the nuclear war, and 84 years after 1929 is the year 2013; the year Steven Universe first aired.

The failing of the world is the same reason the Fallout universe failed. Resources started to become scarce, wars started over what remained and the whole thing was escalated by a race that may have been too young to fully understand the forces they were really dealing with, having come a long way, but still too fast, thanks to the ancient interference.

Nuclear hellfire rained down and some people took their shelter in the vaults, while everyone else had to find ways to survive outside.

Rose and the Gems stick to their isolation as humanity all but wipes itself out. Rose is heartbroken to see the beautiful world that she fought so hard for, so easily destroyed. There can be a lot to explore there. Maybe Rose will leave the group, maybe she’ll just wander off and be alone a lot but still return to the temple eventually. I haven’t decided yet.

Perhaps all the gems will have some additional guilt, knowing that their old tech is what pushed humanity so far so fast.

Fast forward 70 years and Rose meets a travelling wastelander named Greg. They fall in love. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail here mostly because I haven’t really thought too much about it, but partly because I know I want it to be explored within the story itself to show how different from canon it would be. Not just the flashback elements from “Story for Steven,” and "We Need to Talk," with a Fallout flair. I want to work out some other nice adventures to bring them together.

Rose and Greg come back to Beach City with Rose expecting their baby.

Steven is born and the Gems immediately take custody, with the logic that their secure base is a better place for Steven to grow up than the harsh wasteland. Greg is allowed to visit as often as he likes, but not stay there. Nor is Steven allowed off the base. They want to protect the legacy of their leader, Rose.

I’m going to say that Steven starts showing hints of Gem powers around 10 years old. Nothing he can control. Perhaps his Gem glows when he’s really happy, if he falls down some steps his bubble forms but immediately pops so it’s just enough to save him from injury. Little things like that.

But this serves as a point where The Gems start “encouraging” Greg to visit less and leave the raising of Steven to them, as his upbringing has now become “Gem Business”

Steven may have snuck off the base once or twice to see the world beyond the base, but after this he’ll do it a lot more often to see his dad and the Beach City settlement.

I think Bismuth suspects he sneaks off but both can’t prove it, and doesn’t want to try and prove it, Garnet knows but says nothing, both of them are letting Steven have his fun, and Pearl has no idea he does it.

Amethyst is not part of the group in the beginning, she’s out as part of a raider gang somewhere. Thank you to theyarheeguy for giving me that idea, and many others, to work with.

A total of 84 years after the bombs dropped, Steven is now 12 years old, sneaking off the base for another visit to town, when he spots a pretty young girl dressed in a strange blue jumpsuit, emerging from a hidden trapdoor that was underneath the old Beach City water-tower.

Steven is 12 because I believe that’s how old he was when the show started. Based on the timeline, the passing of the seasons and so on, he has to have a 13th birthday that we don’t see on screen, before we do see his 14th birthday.

#art #my art #cover #fallout #Fallout AU #Steven Universe AU #long post #lore dump #work in progress #wip

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dimonds456 · 4 years

Text

Gem Steven’s gem is flipped upside-down. (Theory/Speculation time!)

SPOILERS FOR @spudinacup’s SU AU “Gone Wrong”!

Also WARNING: long post!

So recently, someone pointed out that Steven has a scar on his torso going across his gem’s location, which I found interesting in and of itself. Makes sense, since he wasn’t able to heal it since he DIED and his gem was shoved out of his body before it got the chance to heal him. That slash mark is there now. Wow, neat! Nice detai-

Wait.

Hold on a sec.

Is his gem... flipped upside-down? Well, it’s been like this for a while, maybe it’s just a creative choi-

...oh.

This is VERY intentional.

So I did some digging, and found much more symbolism and possible foreshadowing, and now I want to throw out my theory about Gem Steven here, including his potential arc and character development. I’ll try to keep everything brief while still blowing your minds, and I’ll try to get across what my jumbled mind has come up with.

Spud please notice me.

I will not be uploading photos to go with everything I say (go reread the comic after this and verify for yourself what all I’ve said), but I’ll show visuals when they’re necessary. I do not claim ANY of this art as mine (I wish my art was this good ;u; ), all of it belongs to Spudinacup and their SU AU, which has all kinds of hidden symbolism, foreshadowing, and visual cues we haven’t picked up on yet, as I’ve just learned while researching this theory. This ain’t your run-of-the-mill AU, everything in here is intentional. Scott Spud doesn’t do coincidences. So I’ll point out that stuff in screenshots.

Okay let’s go.

SO! To begin with, let’s talk about why his gem may have flipped, and to realize that, we have to know when. We don’t see the gem much, but we do see it constantly through Chapter 1, where it is normal. The pentagon is pointed upward. However, in Chapter 2, this is where we see it flipped upside down. When did that happen? We didn’t see it. I believe it happened in that first scene in the bathroom, right after we left. The butterflies were swarming angrily, and Steven was very lost in thought.

Notice whenever those butterflies appear. They seem to show up every time he thinks about who he is. Is he still Steven, or is he someone else now? Steven is dead. Everyone is mourning him, trying to heal him, but Gem is still here. So if Steven is dead, but Gem is still alive, that must mean he isn’t Steven then, right? But then that undoes everything we learned in “Change Your Mind.” He IS Steven. He’s always been Steven. But that’s when they were together...

...And so the butterflies swarm.

Notice how the first one shows up when he looks at himself in the mirror. When you look in a mirror, you should see yourself, right? But who IS he? In the show, butterflies represent thoughts and ideas, mostly dark ones, disturbing ones, or ones you don’t want to think about. Well, he already spent WAY too long proving who he was, so now to do it again sucks.

But he isn’t Steven anymore. He’s on the couch being mourned. But he’s already proved he IS Steven before, and it’s this uncertainty that is making his mind swirl. I believe this is why he flipped his gem. Just upside-down, so it’s a small thing no one will notice, while he tries to figure it out. In doing so, he’s separated himself from “Steven”, as they’re not one and the same anymore, and the flipped gem shows this. He’s someone else right now. Maybe. He’s not sure.

So what do we call you for right now? Steven. He already proved he was Steven, so until he’s proved otherwise, Steven it is. Now he just has to figure out what exactly that name means and wether or not he still fits that quota.

Flipped gem/Pink Diamond imagery is EVERYWHERE, mostly hidden in drastic shadows or in panels. It’s things you don’t notice at first, until they’re staring you in the face. See if you can spot them from the 3 screenshots below.

There’s probably more hidden throughout the comic, these are just the ones I’ve found that I feel confident enough to show as hard evidence.

So, what does it all mean? We’ll talk about the screenshots in order, left to right.

First, the Diamond is hidden as the panel in the center. In it, Human Steven lies upside down while the gem-panel is technically upside right. This can be interpreted in a few ways, but what that means to me is that something isn’t right here. If you flip Steven back around so he’s upside right, the gem is now upside down. Notice Gem Steven looking towards his human half on the bottom panel there, clutching his shirt over his gem. It’s a motion we’ve seen Steven do a TON throughout the show, anytime he’s thinking about Rose/Pink, who he is, or complicated gem stuff as a whole. Because early on, his identity was always shrouded in shadow. THAT is Steven, on the couch, without his gem. So for Gem Steven to call himself Steven is inaccurate, but also not at the same time. It’s all swarming in his head, and thus, the gem is flipped.

Next, he’s just broken the rejuvenator. This was probably the hardest to spot of the three, but if you look at the panel where Bismuth asks “feel better?” you will see, in the background, a white line cut through the soft pink hues. Look closer. It’s the outline of the gem, but it’s flipped correctly this time. This is because Bismuth seems to be the only person NOT saying Steven is dead, and treating his gem half one and the same. Is she unnerved? Yeah, but who WOULDN’T be? This is still Steven we’re talking about, as emotionally blocked as he is. He’s aware of why everyone is being weird around him, so to see Bismuth trying her best to treat him with familiarity instead of a completely different, new, dangerous stranger is really calming and helps to calm the storm a bit.

Notice the gem is flipped correctly. This is because he feels like Steven right now. Bismuth has been constant confirmation that he is still Steven, no matter the circumstances. Notice how his eyes dialate back to a larger size. They do that a lot in the comic, articulating his emotions without changing the rest of his face. It’s a clever detail to keep track of. His eyes grow more relaxed, dialating bigger when she pats his shoulder, asking if he feels better after destroying the weapon that killed him. It’s a huge relief for him to hear. So, the gem is correct.

Finally, we see Bismuth telling Greg that his son is dead, which is very contradictory to what Bis was saying earlier (in Steven’s eyes). Where is the gem on that frame? Look at Steven’s shadow. There it is, facets and all. To us, the gem is correct, but think about it this way: if Steven were actually replaced with the gem in that frame, what would it look like, Pink’s or White’s? That’s right. The point is coming from his feet, meaning it would look more like White’s, meaning it is back to being flipped upside down. Again, Bismuth just said Steven is dead, meaning he’s back to questioning his whole entire identity. So it’s back to being flipped upside-down.

It seems that the orientation of the symbolic gems hidden throughout panels show quite clearly where his head is at in terms of who he is. If it’s upside down, he’s separating himself from the cold meatball on the couch, whereas when it’s normal/upside right, he is associating himself WITH the cold meatball on the couch.

Notice he’s been grabbing at his gem a lot recently, too, all things he does while in turmoil over who- or WHAT- he is. He cannot heal right now. He can’t use his powers. Some powers are new and unfamiliar (see the more recent pages where Lapis struck out with water and he blocked with those hexagonal shields/walls). “Steven HEALS people.” He can’t, so who is he?

This is something he’ll need to have an answer to by the time the comic is done, and this is a mission for Gem Steven and Gem Steven alone. If his human half were alive (and content without his gem), he’d probably call himself “Steven” no questions asked, since he GOT his answer already, two years ago. But Gem can’t do that, not when everyone keeps drawing all these lines between the two. He needs to learn what being “Steven” means, and know that he is a part of a greater whole, but on his own, he is STILL Steven. Everyone else needs to realize this, too, and stop separating the two. It’s gonna be rough, since it may feel like replacing what they lost, but is it really? It’s going to be a tough road to trek, and I don’t know what anyone’s answer is gonna be (that’s the big mystery here, after all), but I’m here for it.

Remember, all of this has been speculation on what may happen based on facts and clues Spud has presented us with. I’m not claiming to know how Gem Steven’s arc will end, but I am throwing my hat into the ring on where I THINK it will go. Either way, the foreshadowing, symbolism, and unspoken characterizations here have been excellent, and I’m looking forward to seeing everything play out. Spud, your mind is incredible, and whatever you’ve got planned over there, I’m confident the answer will be satisfactory.

I’ll shut up now. Thank you for reading this huge meta post, and go read Spud’s comic. You can find it at @suaugonewrong or on Spud’s Tumblr, which was linked above. If you think I’m wrong or have a counter argument, bring it. Let’s talk, cause this is genuinely interesting and fun to dissect. I wanna talk about it OwO

Thank you. You may now continue scrolling.

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irisofpurple · 3 years

Text

Good Girl

Summary: What happens when Lana comes home to Ethan, fashionably late after a girls night?

Book: Open Heart Book 3 (post ending)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey×f!MC (Lana Stevens)

Word Count: 2k.

Warnings/Rating: Smut, Swearing, NSFW; Explicit.

A/N: This is pure filth and nothing but filth. A self indulgent produce of my very Scorpio brain and the smuttiest fic I've ever written. I'm not exactly sorry but you've been warned jskssjjkkhhssk. It follows up after New Look, which was my first ever Pictagram edit. I suppose you can still read this if you missed that though. Hope you enjoy reading!

This work is NSFW and meant for 18+ readers only. Please use discretion.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry.

A rush of giddy excitement hit her as she turned the keys to his apartment, making her stumble slightly at the doorstep as she entered.

Alcohol from the countless shots Jackie made them do was still hot and pumping through her veins. In her drunken haze, Sienna had actually convinced her to keep the wig on.

She adjusted it slightly before she realised she'd stepped into pin drop silence, the moonlight streaming in through the floor to ceiling windows the only source of light cutting through the darkness.

A quick glance at her watch told her it was 2:30 AM. Way past Ethan's bedtime.

Her stomach dropped. The girls night had went on longer than she'd anticipated. They'd gotten a bit carried away between gossiping and drinking to new beginnings. It had been a while since they'd had a relaxing night as this after all.

As fun as that was, what Lana was really looking forward to tonight was seeing Ethan. All that teasing had made her as hot as she'd hoped to have made him. She wanted to leave right then but it wouldn't have been fair to her friends.

Her shoulders slumped. It was no use now.

She turned head into the bedroom, the knowledge that she'd find him peacefully asleep making her heart sink a little.

"You're late."

The familiar rumble of his voice echoed through the room, making her gasp in surprise and turn back around.

There he was. Sitting at the bar with a glass of scotch nestled in his hand.

Her heart jumped in her throat, a fresh surge of adrenaline coursing through her, renewing her excitement even more than before.

The contrasting shadows and moonlight highlighted his already sharp jawline, making him look more beautiful than ever.

Slowly, he rose from his seat, drawing nearer to her, his dark predatory gaze never leaving her. She wasn't able to look away either, her belly clenching with anticipation with every step he took.

She shivered as he ran his fingers though the red hair, his blue eyes going the deepest shade of sapphire possible.

"You're still wearing it, I see." he muttered darkly, a dangerous edge to his voice.

A slow smirk spread across her face. She knew no joy like seeing Ethan Ramsey tethering on the edge in a struggle for control.

And she'd make sure he fell over tonight.

"I thought you'd fallen asleep." she said, feigning nonchalance, pointedly ignoring his observation.

In a sudden movement, he pulled her hand by the wrist to the front of his pants, making her feel his hardness though the fabric.

"Do you know how hard it is to sleep like this?" He said through gritted teeth.

Lana was unfazed. Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips as she stared right back into those celestial blues.

"I can only imagine." She murmured huskily as her fingers caressed him ever so slightly, confidence oozing through her as he twitched violently at her touch.

He pulled her hand away and onto his chest, having realized that his move had backfired.

"You made me wait." He accused, his rebellious gaze dropping to her lips.

"I think I know exactly how to make up for it." Lana said with coquettish smirk.

She captured his lips soon after, not letting him a chance to say anything more. Her hands travelled down to palm his bulge once more, making him groan against her lips. Tongues tangled in a desperate battle for dominance, their need for each other assuming more importance than air for a few breathless moments.

Lana pushed him onto the couch, looking down at him with a devilish smile as she pulled off her wig, shaking free her natural blonde curls. They fell around her shoulders gracefully as Ethan watched her with an awestruck look on his face, all traces of resistance gone. She took off her top next, taking delight in his sharp intake of breath as her breasts spilled free before his reverent eyes, following to straddle his lap and continue kissing him with abandon.

Her lips trailed down the corded muscles of his neck, sucking and biting as she goes. Ethan's hands meanwhile were firmly gripping her waist, another one inching underneath her skirt, closer and closer to her soaked core.

But she wouldn't let him get there. Not yet.

His shirt flew across the living room in a matter of seconds and then she on her knees before him, her lips having left a wet trail of kisses all over his chest and abs.

She unbuckled his belt with deft fingers, pulling down the redundant material of his trousers. His cock sprung free, jutting out in all it's glory, demanding immediate attention.

Her delicate fingers gripped him firmly, pumping him a few times torturously.

"Lana.." Ethan groaned helplessly.

She gave him a smile that she knew he found devastating.

"Feel free to pull my hair." she said as she moved to give a long luscious lick along his length.

Her blood red lips were wrapped around his cock the next second, causing Ethan's hips to buck up involuntarily. His fingers tangled in her hair, making her hum around him in satisfaction.

She was on her knees but the one surrendering was Ethan, completely at her mercy. That knowledge was as beholding as it was empowering.

She sank down the length of him, hollowing out her cheeks, relishing every grunt and moan that escaped his throat as she took him deeper into her own.

She repeated the motion, working him up, not letting the involuntary gags or tears brimming in her eyes stop her from taking him where she wanted.

Keeping eye contact, she realised him with a dizzying pop only to suck on his heavy balls till they were as wet as his now glistening cock.

The look of sheer adoration mixed with lust and frustration on his face had to the hottest thing she'd ever witnessed. It made her own folds drip with arousal.

Her tongue flicked across the slit of his tip, before her warm mouth engulfed him once more to bob down his steely length with determination, taking him all the way in.

"Sweetheart, you're going to make me.. FUCKK!"

His grip on her hair tightened, almost to the point of pain. It only served to excite her more. She didn't let up till he emptied himself down her throat, cursing as he shook and came like never before.

She licked him clean, not leaving a single drop.

She felt breathless and a little punch drunk as he pulled her up and into his arms, kissing her tenderly, softly caressing her cheek and wiping away the tears.

He pulled back to look at her, concern etching his handsome face. "Are you okay?"

She laughed. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

He seemed satisfied with her answer because the look of worry gave way to a roguish smirk.

"Just needed to be sure cause I'm not done with you yet."

"Wha-"

"Shhh." He silenced her with his fingers. "You had your way with me, didn't you? Now it's my turn."

"But.." her query died in a moan as Ethan's fingers found her dripping core.

"Damn." He hissed. "How are you already so wet?"

Lana was in no shape to answer because his thumb was working her clit in maddening circles, excruciating pleasure rippling through her as two fingers curled into her slick passage.

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as his skillful fingers moved over her with precision and expertise, over and over again. Just when she was about to reach her peak however, he ceased all movements.

Lana cried out in disappointment from the sudden loss of sensations.

"What are you doing?" she hissed at him in frustration.

Ethan only smiled. "You didn't think I'd let you get away with all that teasing so fast, did you?"

"What do you-"

"Hush, my darling. I said it was my turn. You made me wait for you all evening. Now close your eyes."

"But-"

"No arguments." He said firmly.

Lana hesitantly shut her eyes, the ache between her legs getting unbearable with each passing second.

"Good girl." She could hear the smile in his voice. "Don't move an inch and keep your eyes shut. I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" she cried. "You can't leave me like this."

"Don't you trust me, my love?" He chastened.

Lana gulped. "I do but.."

"No buts then. I promise I'll make it worth your while but no cheating or this ends here."

"No!" Lana shook her head. "I'll do as you say."

"That's my girl."

She heard his footsteps fade away as she struggled to stay still. She was tempted to take a peek and more anything else, touch herself and soothe the throb between her legs. She could get off so easily right now.

But she didn't dare disobey. The wait and build up made her wetter and more turned on than she'd ever been.

Her breath came in shallow pants as she waited and by the time he was back, she felt like one touch would be enough to make her explode.

He secured a silky fabric across her eyes and she heard a low click of glass on the surface of the table.

What the hell was that?

Her heart pounded in her chest and her sex clenched in anticipation.

"Hands above your head and don't move. Or I'll have to tie you up."

She nodded eagerly, following his instructions. "Please Ethan."

He chuckled. "Patience, my love. If there's anything I learnt tonight, it's that waiting makes everything better."

She gasped as she felt his lips on her inner thighs, his beard deliciously scraping her skin as he kissed her everywhere but where she needed him most. It was too much but not enough.

His fingers hooked around the lace of her panties. "As pretty as these are, they have to go."

A loud rip followed, tearing through the room and informing her that her panties were definitely in shreds.

"That was.." she choked out, almost in alarm, unable to finish her sentence. But Ethan seemed to understand her concern.

"I'll buy you more." He grunted.

She felt warm liquid slosh onto her chest, flowing down slowly between the valley of her breasts and down her belly, making her entire body tingle.

Her back arched as the flow inched closer to her pulsing core. She moaned out loud as it finally reached it's destination, suddenly cooling her hot sex.

Ethan's mouth closed on her clit before she could process what was going on.

"Ethannn" She cried out.

She didn't recognize the feline noises escaping her, gasping and moaning for her life as she climbed higher and higher with each masterful stroke of his tongue.

"God. I thought scotch was best had neat. I was wrong. So wrong." He muttered against her sex.

The low rumble vibrated through her body and as soon as his fingers joined the ministrations of his mouth, Lana catapulted over the edge, fireworks exploding behind her eyes and blinding her with hot white pleasure as she came all over his face harder than ever. He didn't stop till all the aftershocks rocking her subsided, letting her ride out her orgasm.

He removed her blindfold and pulled her into his arms, gently kissing the top of her head as she hugged him feebly.

As she caught her breath, her eyes landed on the expensive half empty bottle of scotch and she laughed. "Scotch and sex? Who would've thought?"

Ethan chuckled, running his fingers through her hair. "Me apparently. How did it feel?"

She buried her face in his chest, feeling her face heat. "You know how I felt. I was pretty vocal about it."

Low masculine laughter rumbled through his chest making her heart squeeze and sex clench, like she didn't just have the best orgasm of her life.

She wasn't embarrassed though because she could feel his rock hard errection against her thigh.

She looked up at him mischievously. "Are we ready for a round two?"

She yelped as he lifted her, her thighs wrapping around his waist as he carried her to their bedroom.

"Always."

Whew! I hope you enjoyed reading that. As usual, I'd love to know what you think. Please forgive the mistakes if there are any. I couldn't proofread due to shortage of time.

Tags: @lem-20 @pixie88 @aleynareads @maurine07 @whimsicallywayward15 @lovingramsey @coffeeheartaddict @txemrn @shewillreadyou @aussieez @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @schnitzelbutterfingers @imaneditorthankyouverymuch @mercury84choices @thegreentwin @adiehardfan @custaroonie @headoverheelsforramsey @openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations

#open heart fanfiction #ethan ramsey #choices open heart #ethan ramsey × mc #open heart #pixelberry #open heart book 3 #ns*fw #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week #play choices

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aaetherius · 3 years

Text

Get To Know The Writer!

——— BASICS! ♡

(PEN)NAME: Noise

PRONOUNS: They / Them

ZODIAC SIGN: Virg.o

TAKEN OR SINGLE: I am a single parent to a gremlin cat. I also have a dog and another cat, but when do I ever talk about them sorry my fur children I should not have a favorite, but I do.

——— THREE FACTS! ♡

I am fairly/decently tattooed (verging on heavily tattooed, I think most would argue)? I think that’s something most people don’t know or assume about me (unless you’ve seen me, then, of course, it’s the first thing everyone notices). I have a lot of tattoos so I won’t describe/go over all of them (most of them are nerdy though). But the most obvious/largest one I have is my full sleeve (entire left arm), and that one is of Ok.ami! My favorite one, though, is on my thigh because I’m biased, and it’s a decently sized heart with a scene from K.iki’s Delivery service in it/things that reference it, but Lily and Jiji (the cats from Kiki’s) are colored/drawn as my two cats instead (their names are Elise and Bella and I love them very much gfheudhg)! And my most recent one is a pretty large Sailor Moo.n (Luna) inspired one on my calf (I got it done, unintentionally, like the day before we went into lockdown here and I still think about how that’s the last time I left my house other than to walk the dog and for the essentials, obviously dshjgjfy).

A lot of you know this already, but I sew/know how to sew (largely self taught)! I mainly do cosplay stuff for myself now, and sometimes make cosplays for friends (if I love them enough ghufdihrudk). But there was a period of my life where I was doing it professionally/as a job. I had my own business, and used to make and sell plushies (mainly at conventions, and would do several conventions in a year. Free fun fact from that, but my best con was actually in Canada, of which I am not from nor do I live in, but because of that I have a business license/Tax number in Canada. Used to get invites to events in Canada all of the time and I had to tell them I don’t live there gfudrkugfgrfdr)!

This is so very difficult. I’m out of facts and trying to come up with things you guys don’t already know ifdshliuf. Uhhhhh, on the more personal side/less fun side I guess, but I was on a learning plan (I honestly forget the actual term for it - basically it’s for when you struggle with a certain subject and have to take extra classes for it or are given accommodations for it because it’s difficult for you) throughout most of school/prior to college for - writing, actually (believe it or not gifdljhgkgrt)! I was often told how terrible I was at it/that I would never get better at it because the school system can be awful, but I enjoyed it, and was a very stubborn child so I kept at it anyway! Eventually I was taken off of it in high school entirely because of my own efforts. So, I just want to say: never let people tell you that you’re incapable of something/can’t do something/don’t let people bring you down! If you love something, and get enjoyment out of it, you should do it regardless of what others think/believe! And be kind/supportive to creatives (including yourself - so very much including yourself, you’re wonderful and deserving of respect and praise for doing what you do). It can take so much courage to write or draw or sew or sculpt a single thing (and you should be proud of that thing, even if it doesn’t live up to what you wanted, because what really matters is that you had the courage to do it at all)! There’s often so much going on behind the scenes that you’re not aware of, and you never know where, when, or how someone started off in something (so even if something seems easy for someone now, it likely wasn’t when they started and still might not be)!

——— EXPERIENCE! ♡

I can’t recall when I started role-playing exactly (I’ve been writing, in general, since I could hold a pen). It’s been years, but I started with OCs on forums and with friends (in high school I had a group of friends that I would trade around a physical notebook with where we would write replies - one time, for a friend’s birthday, I had owed them a reply for a really long time, so we wrapped it up and them put it in five or so boxes, all of which were also wrapped, and gave it to them. It was a good time haha. Gosh I’m so old). Before eventually moving to tumblr. Most of my older/oldest OCs are still around on my general multi (August being the oldest, but a decent chunk of the OCs on that blog are pretty old). The first canon character I wrote was, I believe, Steven St.one from P.okemon. As far as Lucifer is concerned, I’m a few days away from this blog being seven months old!

——— MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

I’m not quite certain what my preference is to be honest! I enjoy writing both OCs and canon characters. I tend to favor characters I’m more emotionally invested in since I tend to be on the shy/more withdrawn side of things so it’s easier for me to interact with others/reach out to others when I’m more invested in a muse! A lot of it can depend on my mood as well, certain characters are easier for me to write depending on how I’m feeling ( but there are muses I find easy to write regardless of how I’m doing). And how comfortable I feel with/on my dash also plays a fairly decent role in my preference, as well! And I enjoy running both single and multi-muse blogs, though most of my blogs are multis (but having a single muse blog is so nice). As far as archetypes go, I think I don’t favor one as much as I used to, but I still write a lot of white-haired muses haha. As far as gender goes, I tend to write male identifying muses most often.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: I love and adore all things soft. Obviously it’s easier with certain muses than others (Lucifer lends himself well to fluff, but I have muses, like L.ucilius, who do not). I’m always down to write fluffy things, and very much enjoy it! I like and favor happy/soft content! I like seeing muses get closer, and living their lives and I’m always excited to see characters happy/finding out what they enjoy/spending time with others and learning about them/letting characters live their lives (especially in Lucifer’s case because, well, you know haha. If Cy.games won’t let him be happy I will simply have to do it myself).

ANGST: I like angst to a certain extent. I’m not into super heavy angst that has a bad/unhappy outcome, and doesn’t serve much of a purpose beyond being angsty. But angst that allows characters to develop is wonderful, and expected. And I love the recovery period. Writing muses addressing and living with their actions or learning how to cope with them - how their past or how what’s happened impacts their day to day lives and how they think/what bothers them/their actions/how it becomes a part of them, and what it takes for them to grow. Or how it deepens their relationship with another, and the comfort that comes with it. I enjoy angst that has a happy/meaningful ending.

SMUT: It tends to be very case-by-case by with me. I may write it with certain muses (of mine) and not with others. I may be open to writing it with certain ship partners, and not with others, as well. I will/can write it, but it depends on my comfort level (and it is by no means a deal breaker if you chose to write or not write it). Generally speaking, it largely depends on how comfortable I am with the mun I’m writing with, and with my own muse that’s involved. So I might write it from time to time/it could come up, and there might be other times where I’m not comfortable/confident (and fading to black/time skipping is also a-okay with me, especially if you’re interested in exploring the aftermath/comfort that follows it, but not actually writing the smut part of that out). Though, keep in mind, when it comes to actually writing it out on my end, I’m more invested and interested in the emotional aspect that intimacy tends to bring with it/how it impacts the relationship (before, during, and after), and that does tend to be what I focus on when I write it (because I just find that part of it interesting to explore because my favorite things to write are character and relationship development). So, long story short, I’m selective with it.

PLOT / MEMES: Both are good! You’re always welcome to turn an ask or meme into a thread, and I find that it’s easier to start threads through asks/memes than it is through starters/a starter call so I very much enjoy them! But plotting is also nice, and I enjoy it! Sometimes, though, I have a million ideas, and it goes super well, and other times my head is completely empty and I have no thoughts whatsoever. But plotting also tends to make writing a starter/interacting easier, and also leads to interesting threads! So, I’m open to both!

tagged by: @cirocchio (thank you)!

tagging ( if you want to do this, but no pressure if you don’t! ): @cxffexngel, @anamnaesis, @hartblooms, @shymaidxn, @unladylikc, @whisperonn, @dcpraved, @synnthos, @caelumsaltator, @againthemartyr, @eternalwhite!

#| ☩ Out of Time (OOC) ☩ |#| ☩ A pocket full of feathers ☩ (dash meme) |#{ I keep telling myself I will sleep at a reasonable hour and then I blink and it's four in the morning save me from myself gufidhgouio }#| . long post . |#{ I'll tag my stupidly long ooc posts but not my actual replies hrtfgkdujgtr }#{ It took me like 18 years to do this and yet I still wrote so much fhuurhfgiud }#{ One day I will learn to be brief }#{ No I won't that's a lie and we all know that lol }#{ All of those periods are my sad attempt to keep the bots at bay they don't mean anything lol }

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andrewmoocow · 3 years

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Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 11: In Dreams (originally posted on March 29, 2021)

AN: Hope you all packed your bags dear readers, cause we're gonna go on a real trip. One of my initial ideas for Alternate Future was with the addition as Aquamarine as a more major antagonist, we'd also have a mini-character arc about Peridot blaming herself for Steven's capture at the end of Season 4 even years later, which I felt was kind of a waste of possible character development for the little nacho. Regardless, it's time I finally see it through myself. And trust me, I'm really gonna put Peri through the wringer.

Synopsis: Steven's dream powers start acting up when he and Peridot want to watch TV.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven, Stefan

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Johnny Hawkes as Cookie Cat, Rodrigo

Marieve Hernington as Jasmine

Della Saba as Marine, Aquamarine

The night was dark as Steven strolled through Beach City on his way home after a long day until he heard music. Racing to the beach house, he discovered that colorful flashing lights and loud music were coming from inside the house, and that got him super excited.

"All right!" Steven gasped cheerfully. "Now that I've saved the universe, I finally get to party!" When he raced to his front window, Steven could see all his friends inside dancing the night away. Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl, Lars and the Off-Colors, Lapis, Bismuth & Peridot, Connie, even Onion was breaking it down. Before he could join the fun, however, the door and windows suddenly vanished, leaving behind an empty wooden wall. "Huh? Hey guys, let me in! This isn't funny!"

"STEVEN!" a booming voice echoed from above. When Steven looked up, he discovered that Obsidian's head was replaced with a giant Cookie Cat looking down on him with a taunting grin. "NOBODY NEEDS YOUR HELP! SO WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!"

"What?!" Steven cried before the porch opened up like a trap door under him, forcing the boy to fall through the sky screaming.

"STEVEN! STEVEN!"

A little voice broke Steven out of slumber and back into the real world in his bedroom. "Why do I keep having these dreams?" he mused to himself. "Are they telling me something?"

"STEVEN, OPEN UP!" the voice cried out while pounding on the door.

"Peridot?" Steven began to recognize the green Gem's nasally voice as he walked downstairs and let the former Kindergartener in.

"STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN!" Peridot chanted, beetling in place while holding popcorn and drinks. "Today's the big day! Did you tape the premiere?!"

"What premiere? I have no idea what you're talking about." Steven said coyly.

"But you promised me!" Peridot whined, not realizing that her half-organic friend might be joking.

"Oh, you mean the premiere of the reboot of the classic Great North teen camping drama Camp Pining Hearts that I recorded," Steven revealed as he pulled out a VHS tape. "on this very tape?"

Peridot gasped at the mere mention of the show she had awaited for so long and began squealing excitedly. "Yes, it's finally here!"

"THE RETURN OF CAMP PINING HEARTS!" the pair declared joyfully.

Steven and Peridot raced upstairs to watch the Camp Pining Hearts reboot when Steven realized someone was missing. "Hey, where's Lapis? I thought she was a big fan of CPH as you are."

"Oh, she declined to attend our viewing because she feels this reboot will be an abomination." Peridot answered as she sat down at the foot of Steven's bed. "You know that United Defenders of the World show? She really likes that too, and that's gotten a reboot much like Camp Pining Hearts, but she doesn't like how that is so dark and depressing because apparently, it's more adult. I mean, come on! Can't we go one minute without any intense violence or Mangolin yelling so many nasty wo-"

"What, she's not coming because one show clouds her judgment of another?" Steven rolled his eyes at Peridot's explanation while putting the tape into his VHS player. "That's a little silly. But I'm glad you were still able to come because I've been having these weird dreams lately. Like, are any of them real or-"

"That's not important Steven!" Peridot shut her fellow fan's mouth. "Now press play already you monster!"

Steven chuckled for a bit before he started the tape, and the theme song for the Camp Pining Hearts reboot began to play while two attractive young actors were credited for the roles of its leads, Jasmine and Rodrigo. Steven excitedly ate popcorn while Peridot waved a Great North flag around as the show began.

Fifty-two minutes later, the credits finally rolled, and Steven & Peridot were left stunned, silent, and disappointed.

"L-Lapis warned me, and I didn't listen." Peridot quivered in shock.

"W-what?" Steven added, just as horrified. "What…."

"WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?!" the pair roared in unison.

"What is with that Rodrigo guy?!" Peridot began complaining and clawing at her face. "He has no charisma! He is clearly inferior to the old cast!"

"And can we just talk about the cinematography?" Steven added just as furiously while Peridot got up and marched towards the TV.

"They changed all the characters, and I don't care about any one of them!" Peridot threw a tantrum and began venting by picking up the set & slamming it to the ground. "How could this happen to us?!" she began to cry her eyes out on the television. "Camp Pining Hearts was my escape when I first arrived on Earth, when my whole world was nothing but chaos!"

"CPH brought us all together." Steven comforted his green friend, though he was sobbing as well.

"And now, just look at this nightmare!" Peridot yelled with a hand to the TV screen when it stopped showing the Camp Pining Hearts reboot. Instead, it began playing Steven's dream from last night. "Wait, Steven, when were you ever an actor?"

"What? No, they didn't!" Steven exclaimed as the dream continued on television. "Is this my dreams?" When Steven watched himself fall from the beach house in his dream, the TV then switched back to Camp Pining Hearts. "Whoa! My dream powers must be messing with the TV signal!"

"How in the world is that even possible?!" Peridot raised an eyebrow at this revelation, but it also gave her an idea. "Wait just a second. Steven, you realize what this means?!"

"I should start wearing a tinfoil hat?" Steven asked, unaware of what the little genius had planned.

"No!" Peridot answered. "If we use your dream powers on the TV, we can make our own Camp Pining Hearts! We'll reboot the reboot!"

"Reboot the reboot?" Steven realized and excitedly stood up. "Peridot, you're a genius!"

"I know." Peridot smugly declared.

"Plus, it would be really fun to fix something small this time." Steven said before Peridot wrapped a lime-colored arm around his neck.

"This shall be the beginning of Peridot & Steven Productions!" Peridot triumphantly declared.

"Yeah!" Steven added, and then he fell from Peridot's grasp.

Later that day, Steven and Peridot were now standing in front of a whiteboard detailing all their plans for fixing the Camp Pining Hearts Reboot, bouncing more plans off each other in regards to shipping.

"So Peridot, you think Jasmine's endgame should be Khaz or Rodrigo?" Steven asked Peridot while looking at a web of pictures of the characters from the reboot.

"It seems the characters are trying to railroad us into a Jasrigo relationship, despite turning everyone else into complete jerks just because they don't agree with-" Peridot began, but then she started getting irritated. "Gah, these characters have no chemistry together! It's like they're being shipped just because they're the leading man and woman!"

"Just can't get into Rodrigo, eh?" Steven asked his writing partner.

"He's just so passive and quiet, it's positively irritating!" Peridot yelled. "He has none of the old cast's personalities that made them so memorable!"

"Sure he may be really quiet and soft," Steven assured Peridot. "but what if we try to do something with his social anxiety and peanut allergy despite them not being connected to the larger story, like make him a foil?"

"A foil, you say?" Peridot raised an eyebrow at Steven's idea. "Okay, I'm listening."

"I got it!" Steven declared before he sat down in front of some pencils and paper and began to draw. "I call him Stefan." He began explaining while drawing. "He's a hunky lifeguard friend with nice muscles that everyone likes and wants to hang out with. His popularity is both a blessing and a curse, yet always makes time to help his buddy Rodrigo boost his confidence." He handed his final drawing over to Peridot, which turned out to be a sketch of a more muscular Steven.

"So he's like your self-insert!" Peridot beamed at her friend's work. "I like your ideas, Stefan!"

As night fell, Steven got back into bed with a bowl of chili in his lap while Peridot inserted the tape into the VCR player.

"Uh, why are you eating at bedtime?" Peridot questioned Steven's choice of a bedtime meal.

"Oh, you mean my chili?" Steven replied, gesturing to the chili in his hands. "I read that eating spicy stuff before bed makes your dreams super vivid."

"I appreciate your initiative, fellow creator." Peridot grinned at Steven's idea while he continued eating his chili.

"Thanks, Peridot." Steven thanked Peridot before putting the bowl on his nightstand and tucking himself in. "Okay, good night."

"Good night Steven. But remember," Peridot said as she started whispering into Steven's ear. "action-orientated storytelling."

"Hey Jasmine, I hear you love birds." A tanned, muscular version of Steven said flirtatiously to a cute brown-haired girl examining a bird perched in her hand.

"Sure Stefan." Jasmine giggled cutely.

"Well, a little birdie told me downstream that there's a special island somewhere 'round here." Stefan replied, leaning against a tree and giving Jasmine a wink while pointing offscreen. "I hear it's full of rare specimens."

"Did you hear that?" Jasmine gasped elatedly. "Thank you so much Stefan!" Stefan responded by giving Jasmine another wink.

Meanwhile, Rodrigo was by himself at a campsite reading an instructional book on how to date when Stefan came racing to him.

"Rodrigo, I've got terrible news!" Stefan exclaimed, catching Rodrigo's attention. "Jasmine's in danger!"

"Wait, what?!" Rodrigo did a double-take in response.

"She's headed for that island full of dangerous birds!" Stefan revealed, propping one foot on a rock and dramatically pointing to the river nearby. "But if we go downstream, we can surely save her!"

"Okay Stefan, you're the best!" Rodrigo shouted. "Let's go save Jasmine!"

The pair raced for a pair of canoes docked close to the campsite and began rowing through the river to rescue Jasmine.

"Thanks for telling me Jasmine was in trouble Stefan, you're such a great guy." Rodrigo complimented Stefan.

"You're welcome Rodrigo." Stefan replied gratefully. "You're pretty great yourself, y'know, great enough for Jasmine to like you."

"You really mean it?" Rodrigo asked eagerly.

"I can tell by the way she looks at," Stefan began, but then he started getting sidetracked by Blue Diamond with the body of a dolphin, a gargantuan pineapple with Yellow Diamond's face on it, and a pair of White Diamond's feet right next to the fruit. "you? Huh?"

"Stefan, is something the matter?" Rodrigo asked Stefan, or rather Steven, who had now replaced Stefan in the dream.

"Oh no, not again!" Steven began panicking as he started to glow pink yet again, not knowing how things ended up like this.

As Steven woke up in his bed, he found Peridot standing at the side of his bed, looking very excited at how the experiment went.

"Oh my stars Steven, you did it!" Peridot cheered excitedly. "You just fell asleep and started turning pink, which started happening in the dream! Here, I'll show you!" She then ran over to the TV and began playing Steven's dream again. "Our script, our story, it's on the television and it's wonderful!" she kept on praising. "Not sure what you were going for with that bizarre imagery towards the end but I'll admit, seeing Yellow Diamond's face on a pineapple made me laugh."

Amid Peridot's eagerness, however, Steven then started to get drowsy again.

"Steven, are you okay?" Peridot asked with concern.

"Sorry Peri, just feeling a little off." Steven assured her. "Maybe eating that chili wasn't a great idea."

"Yeah yeah, don't believe everything you read online and all that." Peridot japed. "We got none of the money in the world, and all the time in our hands. Hey, I've got a great idea of my own! Picture this, a mysterious young woman with a teardrop tattoo on her face arrives at the camp because she wants to kidnap Stefan for her own dark designs. But before she can succeed, Pierre from the original Camp Pining Hearts comes in to save the day!"

"Uh, okay then." Steven replied awkwardly while trying to make himself comfortable. "But you're right, let's pull off a do-over. We can try as many times as we want until we get it right."

"Less talking, more sleeping." Peridot pushed a star-shaped pillow into Steven's chest and forced him onto his mattress before pulling his eyelids down.

Every time Steven went to sleep, he was back to canoeing with Rodrigo to rescue Jasmine. And every time, Rodrigo was replaced in his canoes by some very unexpected characters.

The first time this happened, Rodrigo was suddenly replaced by Dogcopter, of all things. As Dogcopter flew off using the propeller on his back, Stefan reached out to the flying canine before Steven awakened with bags under his eyes.

The second time, Rodrigo's place was taken by Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. The three Gems then flew away from Stefan just like Dogcopter did, and Stefan cried out for them before Steven woke up yet again, and the bags were starting to get darker.

The third time, Rodrigo didn't disappear. Instead, he started getting more unnerved as Spinel's massive Injector was present in the background, and Stefan was suddenly replaced with Steven as a baby.

Suddenly, a young woman with a teardrop tattoo on her face, just like what Peridot had described, snatched the baby Steven from the canoe with a maniacal laugh before Pierre, who now looked like he had green-lensed glasses and triangular hair, boldly stepped in and stood up to the woman.

Steven once again woke up, his baggy eyes now at their darkest, while Peridot just sighed in defeat.

The next morning, Steven sat down to some cereal and milk in the kitchen when Peridot suddenly appeared with a big stack of papers in front of her. "Uh, what's all this?"

"I've concluded that a script just wasn't working!" Peridot proudly announced. "So I've decided to take a more visual approach and made a whole series of storyboards for us to use! Besides, I've seen tons of cartoons use more storyboards than scripts, for better or for worse."

"You made all of these in one night?' Steven gasped in amazement at the triangular Gem's feat while looking through the storyboards.

"Duh, I'm good at everything!" Peridot bragged. "Now please study these in preparation for tonight."

"Hey, I got a question." Steven said while putting out one of the storyboards that featured the same tattooed woman from his dream. "Who's this girl, and why does Pierre look so much like you now?"

"Uh, that's Marine, Pierre's new arch-foe!" Peridot answered, awkwardly twiddling her fingers and looking in every conceivable direction. "She is totally not based on anyone we've met before."

"Are you sure?" Steven asked suspiciously while flicking through more storyboards featuring Marine. "Cause her haircut and location of her tattoo kinda reminds me of Aq-" Suddenly, he stopped to discover a new storyboard of Stefan having a romantic moment with Jasmine. "Wait, why is Stefan kissing Jasmine?"

"It's perfect!" Peridot yelled eagerly. "Right as Rodrigo is about to save Stefan from this reverse damsel in distress situation, he discovers that Jasmine got to him first, and they're already kissing too! Imagine, Jasmine defying gender clichés to save Stefan, unaware that they're stroking the fires of Rodrigo's jealousy!"

"I can't do Rodrigo this dirty!" Steven objected to the idea. "It's not only a betrayal of the friendship we gave him and Stefan, but it's also poor romantic drama too!"

"Whoa, take it easy Steven, they're just characters. No need to become so addicted to their love lives!" Peridot tried to excuse herself. "This is a story, and a good story needs conflict!"

"No, I still don't want to do this!" Steven declared angrily, startling Peridot before she came to an understanding.

"Look Steven, I can see you're pretty worn out from last night." Peridot said sadly as she began to get up and walk away. "Let's just scrap the whole project."

"What?" Steven replied in shock.

"There's really no point in continuing if it stresses you out that much." Peridot sighed as she grabbed the door handle. "Besides, I got classes to teach at Little Homeworld anyway."

But when Peridot was close to opening the front door and leaving the house, a flash of pink convinced Steven to change his mind. "No, wait!" he exclaimed, stopping the little Gem in her tracks. "I'll do the scene."

"Really?!" Peridot turned back with a cute smile and stars in her eyes.

"Anything to make you happy." Steven replied wearily. Though he was happy that Peridot was happy, he let out a heavy sigh as he was forced to put his friends before himself yet again.

"Oh no, that dastardly Marine has Stefan captured!" Rodrigo cried as he quickly rowed downstream to save his dear friend. "Jasmine said she's going to help him, but I haven't heard from her since!"

But just as Rodrigo finished his sentence, he finally found Stefan and Jasmine safe from harm, while Marine was left tied up beside them.

"You won't get away with this Stefan!" Marine yelled before she noticed Rodrigo, and had another fiendish idea in the works. "Hey Rodrigo, look! Your best friend's a cheater!"

"What?!" Rodrigo exclaimed, staring straight at Stefan and Jasmine kissing passionately. "Stefan, how could you?!"

"Rodrigo, this isn't what it looks like!" Stefan cried to Rodrigo in Steven's voice, but he wasn't there. And neither were Jasmine and Marine. And right before Stefan was a very angry-looking Connie. "Connie?"

Suddenly, Connie began to grow into the size of a giant and then turned into Obsidian. Stefan meanwhile was turned back into Steven as the Connie-Obsidian hybrid raised a foot and lowered it to crush him.

Steven then woke up in his old room wearing his old pajamas. Just like in the real world, Peridot remained by his side watching the television, but she was eerily silent, a far cry from her usual smug and loud yet cheerful nature.

"Peridot, my dreams are going nuts!" Steven informed Peridot while getting out of bed and walking over to her. "First everyone disappeared, then Jasmine turned into Connie, and she tried to squish me which is how I ended up here!" However, Peridot said nothing and continued facing the television. "Peridot?" Steven asked as he grabbed the green Gem's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

When Steven turned Peridot to face him, her visor and gem were now filled with SMPTE color bars and her expression showed no emotion at all. Steven's old bedroom abruptly vanished, and his PJs turned into his normal clothes as he noticed Peridot emotionlessly marching towards the beach house from the dream he woke up from the previous day. "Peridot!"

"Oh, poor little Steven." A familiar bratty voice called to Steven as he chased after Peridot. From the clouds came Aquamarine, still as haughty as ever and now in possession of her wand once more. "Don't you see? It's all her fault that I kidnapped you, that you had to learn all those horrible things about your mother! And yet not once did her blatant betrayal ever come up again."

"You don't know Peridot like I do, you little twerp!" Steven yelled at Aquamarine as he gained on Peridot, who was about to open the front door. "She's changed ever since we first met. She once tried to kill me like every other Gem who's ever antagonized me, but now she's become so sweet and funny!"

"Oh please, just because you like her now doesn't mean you should completely forget about all the ways she's harmed you." Aquamarine taunted before she restrained Steven with a tractor beam, but his iron will allowed him to resist as he tried to stop Peridot.

"Please Peri, don't go in there!" Steven strained from resisting the tractor beam and reached out to Peridot. "I still really want to hang out with you!" Just then, the floor disappeared beneath Steven and Peridot just like in the earlier dream. Peridot seemingly floated in midair while Steven leaped to the edge of the porch and continued reaching out to her, as the front of the house turned into color bars as well. "We always had something to fix together! The Cluster, the Diamonds, Spinel, but I don't know how I can be anyone's friend without something to fix!"

"Why can't you just surrender already?!" Aquamarine yelled as she tried to reel Steven in like a fish. "Your suffering is all because of her, and she's felt so worthless because of you!" Unfortunately for her, the tractor beam broke and the small, flying Gem was catapulted away from the pair. "We'll meet again brat!"

"I-I just can't do it anymore!" Steven cried to Peridot, unaware of the dream version of Aquamarine's failure to catch him. "I'm just so tired, and now I'm even trying to fix something in my dreams!" He soon started to cry as he got closer to Peridot. "I'm sorry I can't do this for you! Just please don't leave me!"

Peridot remained stoic as Steven kept on grasping for her. "Don't…leave."

The dream ended just like a VHS tape being removed from a VCR before a muffled voice began calling for Steven.

"Steven? Steven!"

Steven was suddenly shook awake with tears in his eyes, and he discovered Peridot leaning over him crying just as much.

"I saw everything Steven, and yes, it is true!" Peridot admitted sorrowfully. "A good reason why I was using your dreams is because I never got over how you were kidnapped because of me! I was so worried the other Gems would declare me a traitor, but they never bothered to bring it up. You know what, we don't have to do this anymore!" Steven then gave her a tight hug. "I don't care about the show anymore, or Rodrigo especially! I just want what's best for you! I'm such a clod!"

"It's okay Dottie, it's okay." Steven comforted his green pal. "I kind of knew something was up when you first mentioned Marine and Pierre, but I didn't know you've bottling this up for so long."

"I know, it's so unhealthy of me." Peridot wept. "I just needed something to vent with, so that's why I wanted to spend time with you. It's okay if you don't want an excuse to hang out anymore."

"But I do want to keep hanging out." Steven assured Peridot. "With or without all this trauma. We're friends, right?"

"I guess you're right." Peridot smiled sadly.

"You still want to watch CPH together," Steven offered. "even if it's terrible?"

In response, Peridot took off her visor and began wiping some tears, shedding the mask she had kept up for her entire stay. "Of course."

"How could you lie to me like this Rodrigo?!" Jasmine yelled crossly at her love interest while Steven and Peridot laughed as it all went down. "I bet you just can't help being an awful person!"

"You just buried a dead body Jasmine, and you're getting mad at Rodrigo for cheating at cards?!" Peridot cackled, pounding her fist on the floor. "Some protagonist you turned out to be! Oh my stars, this show is the worst!"

"This show is the best." Steven smiled contently before the pair leaned up against each other with smiles on their faces.

Like I said, wasted opportunity for more Peridot development. And yes my friends, that United Defenders of the World show was a total middle finger to dark & edgy teen drama reboots of family-friendly properties with fans of all ages. It happened to Archie, it happened to Winx Club and it's even gonna happen to the Powerpuff Girls soon. But I'm getting off topic, this was a pretty fun chapter to write since I love Peridot so much and she has an incredible dynamic with Steven. Speaking of green Gems, next chapter goes into original territory once again as we finally shine a light on a corrupted Gem that's seemingly been erased from existence come Future. That's right Nephrite, come on down!

#steven universe #steven universe future #fanfiction #steven universe alternate future #steven quartz universe #peridot

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roachspraee · 4 years

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Closed Closet (Spinel X Reader)

So I watched the Steven Universe Movie and I am FAMISHED. I knew right away I had to make a fanfic of Spinel, so here ya go! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I did rush this quite a bit, and in no way am I expecting this to relieve your thirst for Spinel, but I do hope this meets your expectations. I have a bad habit of prioritizing less important things over my actual school work...whoops. This is kinda spicy, enjoy !! ≧◡≦

Word count: 4,019

Warnings: Foul Language

You sat on the floor comfortably as you leaned back onto your hands. Your nails dug into the carpet on the floor gently as your eyes darted from person to person in the room. Steven had planned a little hangout at Lars' house and invited multiple people. You had wondered for a moment why he hadn't just planned a hangout at the temple, but then you had realized that there was an accident that had recently taken place at the crystal gem's home.

Peridot was left at the house unsupervised by any of the gems while she was baking a cake for Pumpkin's birthday. Once Steven returned home after getting donuts from the Big Donut, he had found the house partially burnt. You nearly knocked yourself out from laughing so hard when Pearl told you about the incident. You couldn't believe that they would leave her all alone like that!

So while Bismuth and a couple other gems repaired the house, Steven decided it would be nice to have a small party with his close friends, which honestly you didn't mind, because you loved hanging out with Beach City's weirdest people.

Your eyes scanned everyone's faces in the room; Lars and Sadie, Connie and Steven, Lapis and Peridot, Pearl and Amethyst, and Garnet with Spinel. Everyone was chatting, some were on the floor like yourself, others were dancing to quiet music, and others were eating snacks while telling jokes. It was nice and calming, that was until your eyes met Spinel's.

The feeling of your heart thrumming at the sight of her eyes almost made you feel dizzy. It was really odd, though, because your heart always did that whenever you were near Spinel. She was always very comfortable with you, she'd call you cute little pet names (which you assumed to be friendly), and she'd always go the extra mile just to make you smile. Whenever she talked about something that really intrigued her or made her excited, her little accent would be audible to your ears and you couldn't help the warm sensation that spread across your face.

You had definitely grown very fond of the gem, regardless of what others think of her. She did have that pissed off looking rest face, which does make her look quite intimidating, but you honestly thought it was cute. You really enjoyed her company, even if she did struggle with her own issues.

But you couldn't help the frown that formed on your lips at the thought of Spinel. Whenever you looked at her you felt disappointed. At the beginning of your friendship, she had opened up to you about her feelings and problems. Whenever she looked agitated or felt down, you were always there to listen and comfort her. If anything, your similar feelings were the reason why you had grown so close. But then she just stopped. She stopped talking to you about her feelings.

Every time you saw her she looked more angry and tense, and if you asked her about how she was doing she'd just brush your question off her shoulder and answer with: "I'm fine dollface, ya don't gotta ask every 2 minutes."

You gave her space from that point on. But the more space you gave her, the more she closed off and the less your conversations lasted. You knew she was lying to you when she said she was fine. There have been times when you saw her, and her eyes were swollen red and puffy as if she's been crying. Words cannot describe the amount of guilt and pain you felt, because you wanted to help her so badly, but she wouldn't let you. She refuses to share anything about her past or feelings with you, and you didn't understand why. What were you doing wrong?

Letting out a sigh, you stood up from your comfortable spot on the floor and made your way over to Spinel and Garnet who sat on Lars' bed. Their conversation had ceased when they saw you approach them, and Garnet waved at you to sit down next to them.

"Hello y/n." Garnet greeted with a soft smile. You returned the smile as you made yourself comfortable on the bed, "Hey Garnet-" You turned over to Spinel and gave her wide grin, ignoring the small wave of nervousness that splashed onto you, "hey Spinel." The pink gem gave you a soft smirk, her eyes instantly growing soft at the sight of you. She greeted you with a small wave of her hand before she placed it behind her head.

You turned to look at Garnet with a relaxed glint in your eyes and you let out a soft sigh, "Man, this is exactly what I needed. We should definitely do this more often." Garnet snorted, lifting a hand to her lips as she shook her head jokingly, "You see us almost everyday y/n." You rolled your eyes playfully at her comment as you let yourself fall onto the bed, the soft cushion of Lars' bed against your back was truly bliss.

"It's still fun. All of us being in one place and just chatting amongst each other is one of the best things in life. Plus, Spinel doesn't come on earth often. So it's nice to see her." You glanced over at Spinel with a, rather confident, wink. You watched as her cheeks turned light pink at your gesture, and she looked away from your face with a soft chuckle, "Thanks sugar, it's nice to see ya too." She winked back, and you could have sworn you felt your heart skip a beat. Man, this gem really has you feeling all sorts of ways.

The sudden voices of Steven and Lars caught everyone's attention, making their eyes turn to the duo that stood in the middle of the room. After they had everyone's eyes set on their figures, Lars began to speak, "So Steven and I had planned a game for us all to play. It's called 7 Minutes in Heaven. Basically-" He stopped mid-sentence as his face scrunched up as if he was trying to remember what he was going to say next.

"hold up." He whipped out his phone from his pocket and began to type furiously on his phone. Steven sighed with a roll of his eyes, "Basically what the game is about-"

"OKAY," Lars interrupted, a big smile formed on his lips as he stared at the screen of his phone, "So basically the game is about having two people enter a small space, like a closet," Lars turned behind him and pointed at a closet door, "and have them spend 7 minutes inside. You can do anything inside, like chat or play games. I've left a small flameless candle inside so you can see, and a few board games if you want to play."

Steven than pulled a small top hat from behind his back and shook it, "Inside this hat is all of your names. We will pull out two random names, and whoever gets called goes inside the closet for 7 minutes. This game is all about privacy, so when you go inside the rest of us will turn up the music and we'll wait until it is time for you to come out. And remember," Steven smiled at everyone in the room happily, "have fun and respect the other person's space. Don't proceed with any activities if the other party doesn't consent to it. Do we understand?" Everyone in the room nodded their heads in agreement.

"Great! Now we will draw the names." Steven lifted the hat and shook it before he reached in to grab a piece of paper. Lars then reached in and grabbed another piece of paper and they both unwrapped the small pieces of paper as their eyes scanned the written names. Your heart began to beat slightly faster than usual. You wouldn't ever admit it to yourself, but you wanted to go inside with Spinel. It had been so long since you've had a genuine conversation with her. You wanted to connect with her so badly. She was growing to become your stranger, and you wanted anything but that. You hoped this would be a perfect opportunity to speak to her.

“Y/n." Lars read out loudly.

Oh goodness.

"Spinel." Steven said, looking up from the paper in between his fingers and smiled, "Alright you two, go on ahead inside."

Wait, did that really just happen?

You didn't realize the smile on your face. You couldn't even feel that you had subconsciously smiled at the fact that you'd be staying in a closet alone with Spinel. You could finally speak to her. What was the likelihood of Steven and Lars actually drawing both of your names like that? What an odd coincidence.

You just hoped this would go smoothly.

Getting up from your comfortable spot on the bed, you made your way over to the closet with Spinel walking straight behind you. You stepped inside the middle-sized closet with Spinel as you heard the volume on the boombox increase. Steven peered inside the closet and smiled at the both of you, "Have fun, you guys. See you in 7 minutes!" And with that, he closed the closet door shut.

Regardless of the blasting music behind the closed doors of the closet, it was pretty quiet. Too quiet. You could hear your blood pump in your ears.

"Since we're gon' be here for 7 minutes, might as well get comfy." Spinel said casually, sitting down on the floor with her legs crossed. You stood there dumbfounded for a second as you gather your thoughts before sitting down across from her. You smiled sheepishly at her, and she smirked, "What'dya wanna do doll?" She turned to a small pile of board games and reached for the one on the top, "Wanna play Monopoly?" She asked, her gaze turning to look at your face and waited for your answer.

You nodded with a small smile, "Yeah, I love Monopoly. Have you played before?" Spinel shook her head softly, her pink hair following her movements as she opened the box and opened the board to set on the floor, "Nah, but you can teach me as we play. How does that sound?" You hummed in agreement with her proposal. You watched as she set down all of the game cash and the figurines on the board, "You can pick a character you want to play as." You told her.

She nodded and picked up a game piece, "Heh, this one's cute." You let a small giggle leave past your lips as you pick up another, "Alright, I'll play as this one." You and Spinel began to play for a few minutes, as you explained to her about the basics of Monopoly and how you have to pass go to collect 200 dollars. You have the rules of the game burned in the back of your brain since you'd always play it with your childhood friends when you were small.

Just as it became your turn, you suddenly stopped and looked up from the board and up to Spinel. She returned your gaze and rose a brow curiously at you. Were you going to speak to her? Were you going to follow through with your feelings? "Spinel," You spoke out her name, and she cocked her head a little to the right, "Something the matter dollface?" Her voice held curiosity and slight concern, but you suddenly felt a wave of irritation and frustration ram into you. And it rams into you hard.

You let out an airless sigh, your fingers letting go of the figurine that you held in your hands, shaking your head in disbelief. Was she being serious right now? Did she seriously just ask what was the matter, when you've been spending the last couple months trying to ask her that question?

"You're really going to ask that right now, Spinel?" You say with a roll of your eyes, feeling every bit of annoyance and hurt that had built inside slowly start to spill out of you.

"You have been emotionally distant from me and from everyone you know. For months I've been trying to help you. But every time I try you push me further and further away! And now you're going to ask me what's the fucking matter!?" You gasped at your sudden outburst and quickly placed your fingers on your lips. You hadn't meant to blow up, it just…happened.

Spinel sat wide-eyed at your words, but you watched as her face grew dark and sinister. You could feel your heart plummet down into your stomach when you watched her expression change drastically within split seconds, and the low growl that erupted in her throat made you want to hide and never come out. You knew damn well you had angered her, and there's no way to go back.

The easygoing smirk she had plastered onto her face was a mere mask, and now her true emotions are slipping past her grasp and all you can manage to do is meet her angry glare.

"I don't gotta tell you shit, toots." She sneered out through her bared teeth, making you flinch at how aggressive she became. You've never heard her growl so deeply before, and it honestly terrified you. You wondered why she hadn't acted so cold to you before…

Her words really hit it home when you started to feel your heart ache in pain, it was pretty damn clear that she wanted nothing to do with you. And god damn it, it hurt. Because no matter what you did or what you said, you knew she was going to shove you away. Fighting fire with fire wasn't a wise decision, but you needed her to hear everything.

"Do you not understand the fact that I'm worried!? What do you take me for? An idiot?? I know you're lying when you say you're FINE Spinel." Your voice grew louder and louder with every word, and you could feel your throat swell and ache at how much you yelled. Your eyes stung as you felt hot, burning tears well up in your eyes, and you tried to keep them from escaping past your lids.

Your hands balled into fists as you continued, "Hell, even the Diamonds know you're hiding something! They worry for you Spinel! Everyone does! I worry about y-you!" Your voice began to crack as for you could no longer look at Spinel while you were saying these things. It was too much for you. All you wanted was for her to be happy, and you can’t even make that happen.

You could see your knuckles turn white from how tightly you were holding your fists. You didn't care if anyone outside the closet could hear you, it wasn't even on your mind. You just needed to get this off your chest, even if Spinel wasn't willing to listen.

"We used to be so close…but then you started pushing me away!"

There was silence for a short while. But the sudden sound of the Monopoly board game flying towards the wall made you squeal in surprise. Spinel was closer to you now, and in the corner of your eye you could see the scattered pieces of the Monopoly game all over the floor, but that wasn't your main focus. Your eyes met with Spinel's, and you could see anger, but there was another emotion, or multiple, that were added to the mix that you couldn't quite identify. You were so overwhelmed with your own emotions that you couldn't even comprehend the situation entirely.

"Lemme tell ya a little somethin' sweetcheeks," She then grabbed a fist full of your shirt and lifted you up so that you were mere inches from her face, you were so close to her that you could feel her hot breath hit your face. A long, cold shiver ran up your spine at the sensation, and it only made your heart race faster than it already was. "I got my reasons for what I do what I do. My feelings ain't got nothin' to do with you. So why don'tcha just mind your own damn business?"

You didn't want to think that her voice could get any deeper, but you were most definitely wrong. The lump in your throat overwhelmed you, along with the heating of your skin, and all you could do was whimper in response to her words. Spinel's grip only grew tighter on your shirt as she pulled you even closer, "Why the hell do ya want me around anyway!? Just so you can leave me all alone like she did? So you can use me up and toss me away when you get bored of me!?" You felt confusion and pain swirl within your heart and soul. What was she talking about?

You didn't understand what she was saying. She was abondoned? By who? Why?

"N-no!" You stammered out, big, hot tears rolled down your cheeks as you turned away from her hateful gaze and to the wall. You hated this. You hated how she made you feel. You hated how she made you hurt for her when she doesn't even care.

"I want you around b-because you're my friend Spinel-" She interrupted you with a dark chuckle, her grip on your shirt forced you to look into her eyes, "Ya don't gotta lie to me babycakes," She pressed her forehead against yours as she continued to snarl out her hurtful words, "I know you're only pretending to care bout' me. When the fuck are ya finally gon' admit that you don't want me, huh!?"

"But I do want you!"

It took you only a few seconds to realize what you had just said, and the true meaning behind your words. Silence. You and Spinel both fell completely quiet, and the words you yelled out echoed within the walls of your head. Your face grew hot, embarrassment had been added to the mix of emotions you were experiencing. Did you just...

Spinel's glare disappeared, and a look of shock had replaced it. Her mouth was held agape, and her eyes were slightly wide. You could see her cheeks flush a deep red. She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it. You left her completely speechless. Your heart threatened to leap out of your chest when you saw her eyes move from your eyes down to your lips.

"Damn you…" Spinel growled before she roughly shoved her lips against yours in a heated kiss. You squeaked in surprise, a new wave of emotions splashed onto you and you closed your eyes shut, focusing on her touch and warmth. Her mouth moved against yours, and your hands instinctively moved to her shoulders. You could feel her hands move to your cheeks as she softly held your face, pulling you closer to her.

Her kisses became more and more heated. You could feel every single emotion that she had kept to herself. Every single kiss held frustration, anger, loneliness, and sadness, and she was giving it all to you. Her lips were so soft against yours. You loved it. You loved her.

Your soul nearly jumped out of your body when you felt her tongue glide against your bottom lip. You accepted her request and let her explore every single spot she desired. You tilted your head to the side to deepen the rough, needy kiss.

“Mmph~” You couldn't help the soft moan that had escaped your throat when you felt her tongue coax your own to play. She tasted so sweet.

You felt her pull away, and to your surprise, you saw tears form in her stunning eyes as her lip quivered.

"God, I need you…" She murmured, pressing kisses on your neck as she placed her hands on your hips. You could feel her tongue glide on your warm skin and you bit your lip, trying so hard to keep your embarrassing noises to yourself.

"I want you…" She softly bit onto your skin, earning herself another moan. You felt her smile against your skin, then she pressed kisses all along your collarbone and up your neck, then gliding her lips along your jaw.

"I love you…" She pressed her lips against yours into another kiss, this time, it's more loving and soft. She let out a soft whimper as she brought you closer to her, her lips moving in sync with your own. You never knew just how much you wanted Spinel until now, and you could honestly say that you were the happiest person in the world.

She let out a groan when you bit onto her lower lip, this time exploring her. Her hands were shaky as they roamed all over your body. Her hand went under your shirt and felt every mile of skin. Your hands traveled up to her hair and you softly gripped onto her pink locks and smiled at how surprisingly soft they were. Her hands went up to your belly and to your chest, feeling you, wanting you.

You pulled away and panted heavily, your forehead flushed against hers. Spinel's face was a deep, beet red color, much like yours, and you just smiled when you saw how the pupils of her eyes shaped into little hearts as she stared at you with adoration and love. You stroked her wet cheeks softly as you pressed a kiss on her nose.

"Wow…" She mumbled, her thumb stroked the skin on your chest gracefully, "You really are somethin' toots." You smiled happily at her, and nuzzled your face in the crook of her neck, "After this party, you're telling me everything that’s on your mind.”

There was a slight pause, so you moved your head to look at Spinel’s face. She looked devastated. Her eyes held so much sadness in them.

"…I'm so sorry I said all those things to ya…" You immediately met her eyes, and saw guilt and regret swirl within her orbs, "All those things I said to ya…I…" She shut her eyes and looked away from you, purely ashamed for what she had said to you. You gently gripped onto her cheeks and quickly comforted her.

"Hey, hey Spinel, look at me," Her glossy eyes met yours, your fingers were quick to wipe away any falling tears from her eyes, "I forgive you. God, you have no idea how much it hurt when you pushed me away like that. But it’s over now, kay? From now on you’re telling me everything that’s on your mind and every emotion you’re feeling. I want to help you, Spinel." You kissed her eyes softly, wrapping your arms around her as you nuzzled into her hair, "Okay? We'll make it through this together.

Spinel pulled away and gazed at you with a small, sad frown and nodded her head, "Sure thing doll." You slowly stood up to your feet and helped Spinel up, hearing the music of the boombox go quiet and footsteps approaching the closet door, and the sudden light of the room blinded you once the doors had flew open.

"Times up! You guys can come out now." You and Spinel slightly stumbled out of the closet, squinting your eyes as they adjusted to the new lighting. As you made your way over to the bed with Spinel, Amethyst looked over at the both of you and smirked, "Did you guys have fuunn?” Your face started to burn as you remembered you had fought and had an extremely heated make-out session with Spinel in just 7 minutes.

“BAHAHAHAHAH!!” Amethyst laughed hysterically as your red face had answered her question. You just looked away from her in complete embarrassment.

You turned to Spinel when you felt her fingers intertwine with yours, only to see a smug smirk implanted onto her lips, "Ya know…" One of Spinel's hands laid on your thigh as she softly kneaded your skin, "You tasted pretty good. I wonder what other parts of you taste sweet~"

"Lars and Sadie! You guys are up next!"

You swear your heart was going to explode if the night continued.

#spinel #steven universe #xreader #spinel x reader

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milfygerard · 4 years

Note

do u have any quick tips 2 improve drawing?

1. experiment with different mediums (paint, colored pencil, gel pens, markers, ect.) . some things will just click with you, and it can be fun to push yourself if you're already confident w a material. Also dont be afraid to mix and match materials, learn what works with what.

2. USE!!! REFERENCES!!! everyone says it but thats because its TRUE just being able to see a version of what ur trying to draw makes life so much easier

3. go easy on yourself. Self criticism is important but also can be really discouraging. When ur critiquing urself, make sure to consider things you did well or improved on. Drawing is supposed to be fun, dont forget to let it be

4. practice! especially from life. Draw a random thing you can see in your room, draw just a page of different noses, when ur stuck, just trace over pictures to practice form. Draw things you have no intention of showing anyone and draw them often

5. warm up before starting a big piece! Just do a page filled with circles and lines, or a bunch of shitty doodles. It sounds pointless but honestly it does wonders for the final product

6. copy other styles. All art styles are just failed copies of something else. Obviously dont actually steal or trace someones art and claim it as your own, but dont be afraid of your art looking like invader zim or scott pilgrim or steven universe. It all helps ou narrow down your personal look

um. thats all i can think of for now, hope this helped!

#ask #anotherknifeinmyhands #wow tumblr just destroyed the structure here buh. all fixed now

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anaclarachavez · 3 years

Text

Things I did when I was a child

I keep thinking about my childhood lately. Some of the work I do in therapy requires me to go back to those days and really pay attention. I feel like Murnau's Faust (a much less darker version, of course): hovering over my old schools, trying to listen to my childhood conversations with friends, amazed at how light and cheery I remember life being. Would it be safe to say that I won't ever be as unafraid as I was when I was a child? I think it would. And I'm ok with that. But every once in a while –when I'm not sure who I am– "I wish I were a girl again, half savage and hardy, and free", as did Catherine Earnshaw when she yearned for the untamable spirit of the Yorkshire moors.

***

I thought it best to put these adventures and amazements in words, in case my memory once fails and I truly don't remember who I am: - I loved Maleficent. One Halloween I dressed up as her for a school show. I didn't have time to change my shoes, so I very proudly sported my black outfit and make up with white girly shoes. I was LIVING. Whenever I see the photo I feel my true nature shining through.

- I used very weird words for a small human. Like the time I called my kindergarten classmates "abúlicos". To this day, I’m not even sure I know what that means.

- My mom had a go-to fruit lady near our house. And whenever I made an appearance, she would give a guayaba (guava is not a good word). This went on for many years. Some time ago, I went back there for... reasons... and the lady recognized me and, true to form, gave me said fruit. It felt like a gift to the Anaclara of the past.

- I used to do cartwheels anywhere and everywhere large enough to fit an over enthusiastic seven year old.

- I had this beautiful Russian friend named Polina, and we lived nearby so I hung out at her place sometimes. We made up a dance to “I Want to Hold Your Hand” by The Beatles. I thought we were so cool, but for some reason, maybe her Russian demeanor, she didn’t seem like a very happy kid to me. Never saw her again.

- I adored drawing. The joy of drawing felt like very few.

- I thought about having a career as a bird-watcher. - When I moved to England we sometimes took a shortcut to my mother's University. And it was muddy. Real muddy. Unaccustomed to the realities of British weather, I thought such mess to be the funnest time of all. Sometimes I would wear some plastic bags over my boots to avoid childish disasters, and I was even more amused by this. - My dear, dear mom let me dress up however I saw (un)fit. So I wore a spice girls crop-top, some glittery hairbands, a cow print vest and, of course, black mini-skirts over trousers. - I danced. I danced every minute of every day. - My lovely teacher Mrs. Thompson thought I was very creative but "too chatty." An accurate assessment if I’ve ever heard one. - I used to play a hand clapping game with my friends. We once made up some lyrics and choreography. It started like so: "I met a girl in Sweden, called eye-shoe-Shalyla. All the boys in the football field said 'I love eye-shoe-Shylyla’" - I earned a badge for winning three chess games in a row in our junior school chess club. Anya Taylor... who? - Music classes were the best. We sang "Morning Has Broken" by Cat Stevens. And a song about socks: "Black socks, they never get dirty, the longer you wear them the stronger they get..." - I got a kick out of beating boys at running fast. But I never had very close friends who were boys. They didn’t seem as appealing and fun as the girls. - I had a purple bike that made some sort of odd sound when it rolled too fast. I thought it was unique and my parents could always tell when I was arriving home because of it. I rode it to see my friends. I made so many friends and so easily. No self-consciousness, no weird insecurities, just pure eagerness. - I loved to sun bathe. I very frequently over did it and suffered the burning consequences of feeling invincible. But those tans though. - Bonfires. Bonfires were magical.

- I vividly remember where I was the first time I saw a mobile phone in action: it was 1999 and I was in a double decker in London. One person suddenly “rang”...and a few seconds later we could hear the other guy chatting with him downstairs. It was equal parts ridiculous and amazing. - Me and my mom would walk down to a market near my house and buy some cheese empanadas that I have since idealized as the perfect empanada.

- I had a bright orange goldfish who I named “mi amigo.” How cute is that? I also had a pair of ducklings who followed me everywhere. - I was constantly braiding the girls' hair in class. I found it relaxing and wasn't really aware I was shamelessly turning the classroom into a hair salon. - One of my first childish grudges was against the man who drove the ice-cream truck: I once gathered my pennies and asked for some very specific sweets. The small paper bag of these gummies cost fifty pence, and I when I got back in the house and opened it, they were not the sweets I had asked for. Such betrayal. It felt infuriating. I didn’t buy anything for weeks, until my mom convinced me to forgive the poor distracted man.

- Whenever my family and I travelled to a foreign place, I was mesmerized by my father’s ability to know where we were going, how to pay, where to stay, how to find the way if we got lost. This, I think, gave me the confidence to be alone anywhere in the world and (try to) find a way.

- Arriving to Antwerp remains one of my favorite memories in life. I couldn’t (can’t) get over how magical it was. I was tired, so tired, because we walked for what seemed like forever, but I still couldn’t sleep that night because I was so excited to be in a city that felt like a fairytale. Who knew what we were going to encounter the next day? (tourists, mainly).

- I spent my 9th birthday in Barcelona but against everyone’s wishes I decided to stay in my cousin’s house and play The Sims all day.

- My aunt lived in a very large house with doors everywhere. One door led to a small room, a corridor almost, which was preserved as such because it had beautiful original wood framing. My aunt collected witches and they all lived in there. One of them had a sensor that made her laugh whenever someone walked by. I was terrified of walking through that dark room, sometimes I even crawled so the witch “didn’t see me.” And now I love witches.

- I once decided lamps were very boring and that I was going to decorate random lamps and make them fun. And I did. A couple of them are still lying around, looking worse than they ever did in the first place.

- The best part of dancing in the Nutcracker as a little girl, was that we got to buy new dolls for the show. And styled our hairs with shiny voluminous Shirley Temple curls.

- During Nutcracker season my friends and I used to tell horror stories backstage. A popular one was that the human sized nativity figures which were stored in the theatre’s warehouse were in fact haunted. Legend had it, a girl once went in there and saw their eyes move from one side to another.

***

It is hard to pinpoint when you cease to be a girl. The best I can come up with is this: my joyful childhood was over when I started looking at these as memories rather than possibilities.

I don’t feel like a child anymore (at least not everyday) but I definitely don’t feel like a grown-up either. Most of the time I feel like a strange kind of grown up, but I find so much charm and peace in honoring my child self. I know that my Maleficent-costumed-persona is very proud of this lack of staidness, and whatever I do, I’m always secretly hoping I don’t betray her.

#childhood #maleficent #growing up #joy #memories #inner child

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