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#still crying about this scene specifically
sysig · 6 months
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Hello! I feel like rereading Vargas these days so, I'd like to request some Edgar, Scriabin interaction (maybe one of them being vulnerable), if that's okay?
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Day 14 - Stop making your lack of imagination my problem ò///q
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swordsmans · 9 months
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finished writing the last section of The New ZoLu Fic on my work break today................ tonight after ~job 2~ i will finish the epilogue, then i'll update with the final wordcount. accounting for a few days of line edits and possible beta-reading..... it will be up in its entirety by this weekend.
i am almost free
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quietwingsinthesky · 27 days
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the unfortunate thing is that in playing the evil connor & hank route i feel bad and i want to reset to make sure they’re friends again. that’s not how video games work and they aren’t real and my choices don’t actually have consequences. but fuck, man.
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boilingheart · 4 months
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i beat bg3 today but the ending i got for gale soured the entire fucking experience now i have to go back over a hundred hours to go redo this shit so i can get the "good" ending because what i just got simply was NOT IT
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genderqueer-karma · 3 months
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what the fuck i didn’t expect to cry just now. it’s so amazing how you can connect to people you’ll never meet.
#yo it's d :)#💙♾️#rant incoming ->#okay so if i’m being honest being a black fan in mana/mdm/mm spaces is actually kinda isolating sometimes if i’m being honest bc a lot of#western fans are white people. that’s just the truth. and like i’ve been sorta subtly ‘bullied’ (lightheartedly) for years over my interests#misaligning with what is typically ascribed to black people. i know it’s silly to let it get to me but after a while that shit wears you out#that being said. i was watching the mdm 2007 paris show bc i wanted to see a specific song real quick. the video pans over the crowd and obv#it’s white people as far as the eye can see. shocker. however. then it gets a bit closer to the stage. not too close. but sorta. right there#is a black fan. they stand out a bit. besides their skin being brown their hair is also in cornrows! a protective style!! at an mdm show!!!#seeing them in the crowd caused me to be overcome w/ emotion. i felt so instantly connected to this person across time and space from a two#second clip of them. and of course i shouldn’t cry about it but knowing that hey. i’m not alone out here and that we’ve probably had similar#experiences is so……? it was so easy to suddenly put myself in their position. a person that looks like me in a room full of people who don’t#god.#i hope they’re doing well nowadays and that they still rock out to mdm. i hope the feel incredibly valid in their blackness.#HOLY SHIT WE BELONG IN THE SCENE !!!!! WE BELONG !!!!!#I BELONG !!!!!!!!!!!#dev rants
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pinkfey · 2 years
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having an uncommon trigger is literally the worst huh 😔😔😔
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what are the characters that appear in all the games and by all I mean most I know Daigo doesn’t appear in Y1 but he’s basically in every game even 0. Also to make it easier only main characters
i guess it depends on your definition of 'most': there are 11 yakuza games (excluding remakes) so when you say 'most' i'm going to consider characters that appear in at least 6/11 games. i'm not including flashback cameos (this would mean excluding saejima in Y0 because he's not in the game otherwise)
in that case, that'd be kiryu, majima, haruka, date, kashiwagi, and daigo
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it would be nice if actually NMH4 was smart and pulled a whole 'actually the real villain was inter-generational trauma all along!' and that it re-contextualised the overarching narrative of NMH to be about the about the Touchdown Family's struggle to end the toxic cycle of violence that their family has been stuck in.
#I DOUBT NMH4 will be that smart. (assuming it will ever happen) but it would be neat if they did lean into that#the reason why the ending of the cycle is so important is that it kinda adds a nice book end / call back to alice twilight#the whole ‘free us from the red crimson sea of madness!’ as a cry for help by assassins asking Travis to help them leave the life#of being an assassin still kinda gets to me#I mean the whole reason why NMH2 happens is that many of the characters are there BECAUSE of Travis. many envy him because he was the one#that became number one. AND WALKED AWAY.#plus in NMH2 travis says ‘we may be fucked up but assassins are human too’ and GAH HES SO RIGHT ABOUT THAT#like really one thing that does bother me about flesh and blood episode is that Travis is VERY NONCHALANT about killing henry. like hey.#that’s your brother who literally just told you not long ago that he saved you and (their) sister jeane from their father!!!#like?? wouldn’t you have a mental breakdown about that revelation?! like I get human emotions are complex#but like at least SOME FORM OF REMORSE WOULDVE MADE THE SCENE BETTER. even him perhaps scolding Sylvia for being nonchalant about the death#of Henry would have made the situation go from ‘oh god the horror’ to ‘don’t you dare say that about my brother#’he did everything to keep me and my sister safe and you have the audacity to think I was okay with killing him?!’#like seriously where did that small bit of familial bonding/friendship development with Henry and Travis go after NMH2?????#like Henry didn’t just save Travis in the Nick of time with the jasper batt jr fight for NOTHING.#Travis failed to save jeane! so make him at least try to help Henry!! he’s his only real blood relative and knowing the person who’s done#their best to keep you out of very specific life threatening danger - I think you owe your sibling to try and save them from whatever#is happening to them that’s making them take irrational decisions of world domination#SUDA HIRE ME TO BE YOUR WRITER TRUST ME I CAN FIX YOUR SILLY LITTLE UNIVERSE I SWEAR#nomoreposting#suda51posting#nmh3 spoilers#shallow rambles#sorry I’m have deep thoughts about this series and it’s implications sorry#yeah I’m kinda in denial of the whole Henry’s domination of the world thing (not that I hate it!! good for him!!)#but also I wish there was much more build up and development before hand you know? the last time we got development was in NMH2#<- NMH2 was released… 13 years ago and even then henry still doesn’t have that much screentime either so is that even character development#if you’re reading tags. dear goodness thank you for putting up with my ramblings. /GEN
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sttoru · 6 months
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Could you do a scenario where megumis daycare teacher is hitting on y/n and toji and meg get really overprotective about it <3 love you parenting series sm
⟣ tags. dad!toji x female reader. fluff. themes containing jealousy / protectiveness.
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you were stunning. that much was known and evident to toji and others around you. your looks were captivating — however, you always seem demanded to deny that fact. even when you have a husband who reminds you of how good you look on a daily basis.
but with good looks comes male attraction; something toji greatly dislikes since you’re his wife. it isn’t like he’ll be mad at you about it — no, not at all. in fact, toji feels a surge of pride every time someone tells him how lucky he is to be your husband.
the thing is: he gets a little. . . too jealous and overprotective every now and then when the harmless compliments turn into blatant flirting.
“oi, megumi,” toji grumbles as he holds his son in his arms, looking out in the distance. specifically at you talking to megumi’s daycare teacher for a bit way too long to his liking, “ya see that? mommy’s being hit on right in front of us.”
the little boy stops chewing on one of toji’s hair strands, seemingly understanding whatever his dad had said. megumi lets out a small ‘oh!’ noise and stretches his arm out in your direction, pointing at you, “mama.”
you were too busy answering the questions megumi’s teacher asked you to even realise that your husband and son were looking at you from far away. toji’s menacing aura, however, only seemed to intensify the more you talked to that man.
“tsk. . . all right, kid—listen up.” toji narrows his eyes at the scene before putting megumi down on his feet, crouching down to be at eye level with the boy. he puts a hand on megumi’s shoulder and whispers a plan in a ‘baby-language’ his son could understand;
the two are being the perfect partners in crime right now (they always have been; since megumi’s birth to be precise).
megumi’s daycare teacher was telling you a fun story about what your son had done to which you politely laughed at. in that same moment you could feel someone tugging at your pants lightly — as if wanting to catch your attention,
“oh — hi, my baby.” your face lights up as you see megumi standing behind you. his big eyes were staring up at you, fingers curled around the fabric of your trousers still — not a clue of what he wanted of you,
you tilt your head to the side in slight confusion and when you wanted to crouch down to be at eye level, the little boy suddenly starts to scream and cry as if he just experienced something traumatic. when in reality, nothing in the current scenery had changed to provoke such a dramatic reaction.
“woah, woah, hey. .” you were startled by the sudden switch in megumi’s mood — his face going from a neutral expression to one of pure despair as he (fake) cried. not only you, but also the daycare teacher seemed to take a step back from the sudden screams echoing in the area.
you immediately pick megumi up and try to calm him down, not pressing him for answers on why he suddenly decided to have an-almost-mental-breakdown-like outburst.
another switch was flipped in the toddler once your attention was diverted from his daycare teacher to him and him only. your eyebrow raised at how easily megumi shut up and went from a state of distraught to one of content in your arms.
that’s when you glance over at your husband who stood near the exit of the daycare, leaning against the wall with his bulky arms crossed, a proud and smug grin on his face — his plan seemed to have succeeded. all credit goes to his son for succeeding in catching you off guard.
“damn, seems like the brat needed his mama’s attention, eh?” toji calls out with an ‘innocent’ shrug, snickering after that, “like father, like son — they say.”
it took you only a few seconds to realise that toji had probably asked megumi to catch your attention by faking to cry near you — knowing you’d drop anything to comfort your child at any time, no matter what you were doing.
“oh, you little . . .” you bite your tongue to refrain from scolding your childish husband out in public. you look down at megumi, seeing him stare back at you with happiness in his blue eyes. you certainly couldn’t be mad at him, “you. you’re lucky you’re cute, ‘gumi.”
you chuckle and kiss your son’s forehead, bidding the teacher farewell quickly (leaving him disappointed by the rushed ending of your conversation), before walking to toji.
megumi squirms in your arms and when you put him down, he instantly runs to his dad, expecting something in return for his performance. toji did seem to have promised him something in exchange for accomplishing his mission—
“papa! papa! candy!”
you raise an eyebrow as toji takes out a piece of candy from his pocket, reserved just for his son. toji was beaming with pride, ruffling megumi’s hair before handing him the delicacy, “here ya go. good job out there, kid.”
you roll your eyes, as that was the only thing you could do after walking right into their trap like that. as per usual.
the cherry on top was that your husband was mocking you like an annoying manchild on the way back home — recalling how worried you reacted when megumi successfully acted like he was crying.
megumi giggled along with his dad, leaving you entirely defenceless. at least you could laugh with them as well.
they got you good.
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sysig · 11 days
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It started with a whisper ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Crackship#Xigbar#Of all the crackships that I didn't expect I probably wouldn't have expected these two the most lol#I super wasn't expecting to feel So strongly about them this is like multi-tier Big Feelings in varying directions#One - ZEX - obvious (lol) | Two - Xigbar (hehe II hehehe) - I think I mentioned it like maaaybe once over here but I was Huge into KH#Specifically Org XIII specifically-specifically 358/2 it is the only game in the Kingdom Hearts line that I've beaten and probably ever will#Oh no wait that's not true I did play through all of the DS release of Re:Coded but like......does that count lol I think no#I played the intro of Kingdom Hearts II and shut it off after the bit with Roxas and Sora like - the egg scene how do I non-spoilers this#I own it and I will never beat it I am too sad I want only my Nobodies lol <3#Kingdom Hearts had a big influence on me - that and Magic Knight Rayearth are a big explanation as to Why I'm Like This lol#Cough cough casting away the dark parts of your heart only for it to come back and bite you later and also The Gay™ lol#But AnyWay lol - Xigbar!#He wasn't my favourite-favourite - aside from Main Characters that'd probably go to Marluxia - but I still hold him very fondly!!#Definitely doodled him a good bit he's very handsome ♪#And just - ah ♥ An old fave and a new(er) fave interacting and making each other happy and feel nice and play well I just fsalkfdf#As well as that being Max's body! There's something heightening about all these different aspects that was just overwhelming to me haha <3#If it's not already obvious - yes this was the happy cries lol this is the only explanation I have haha#I feel very strongly about Them and Interactions and Feeling Nice and fjdslafsdf#Anyway! This isn't Just them! Just a lot haha ♪#I have started a playlist lol - so far it's just this song - Everybody Talks - but some of the others from SCII playlist fit well too :)#The rest is just ZEX being cute hehe <3 ZEX not understanding what crying is is very interesting to me :3c No VUX equivalent?#Seems like they don't have the same kinds of chemicals like adrenaline et al so I guess a flushing system isn't as necessary! Interesting :D#ZEX fumbliness leading to him being a bit on the back foot is so cute hehe <3 He wants so loudly and openly but actually accomplishing it-#I also really like how he holds himself - all the tension through him to fight against new muscles and bone everything too alien!#I imagine his hands as being very rigid and all the fingers pulled together straight but that could just be how he describes bones hehe#Alien in there <3 Plenty to read into :3c
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zouffle · 10 months
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did anyone else watch adventures from the book of virtues as a kid because that show was a fever dream
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churipu · 2 months
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𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫! 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨
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featuring. gojo satoru x reader
warnings. cursing
note. i thought of this when i saw a"rating celebrities i have met" video on tiktok, i imagined what gojo would be like as a celebrity — hence this fic. enjoy <;33 god i want to make actor! jujutsu kaisen a series so bad.
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actor! gojo who first saw you during a fan meeting, and when you asked for a weird pose to do with him, he's immediately attached — like love at first sight?
actor gojo! who slips in his phone number when he was signing his picture that you asked him to sign, hoping that you, his very own fan would actually text him. because, he genuinely wants to get to know you better.
actor! gojo who receives a text from you during the night, and the first text he receives from you was a "is this a prank? if it's not, i'm going to roll on the ground and cry. if it is, i'm sorry you had to see this text." and he decided to play with you by saying it's a joke — but stopped when you actually believed in him.
actor! gojo who finds it funny that you still don't believe that the gojo satoru is texting you, so he decided to video call you to make you believe in him (you ended the call immediately and blocked his number for a bit after, only unblocking him when you got your head straight).
actor! gojo who eventually got to know you better, slipping in the time to video call you or voice call you during breaks in his busy schedule. sending you your cravings out of the blue, or even bouquets of your favorite flowers.
actor! gojo who will use his empty schedule to come and meet you — taking you out to eat or just spend the day in your home, or his apartment. even exhausted, he still wanted everything to work out with you, so he would do anything; even if most of the time, the both of you ended up napping together.
actor! gojo who sends selfies of himself or a short video of himself during his schedule so you could know what he was doing — pointing out the most unnecessary things in the video, like how he saw a cat (then taking a picture or video of the cat to send to you), or even telling you how he finished the shoot in a short amount of time, wanting you to be proud of him.
"hi! i just did a scene, and there was this really cute kitty — look, i named him tuxedo, 'cause his fur looks like a suit. isn't he cute? what do you think if i brought him home with me, i think you'd like him!" he said, panning the camera to the said cat, caressing its fur gently.
actor! gojo who checks his phone every time after a take in his shoot to see if you had replied to him, and when he sees your notification, he gets so motivated to do his shoot. and when you don't, he's pretty upset. he turns into a big baby and asks everyone in the set what it meant if someone replies late, he is so dramatic.
actor! gojo who if asked about his ideal type during interviews, mentions and describes your personality and looks. and everyone won't know that he was talking about you, he sees people talking about how specific his words are and speculates that he was seeing someone.
actor! gojo who trended on social media after that particular interview and the account who first speculated how specific his description is, and now the whole world is saying he has a secret lover or is dating backstreet.
actor! gojo who then receives a text from you asking about if he was seeing someone because of his trending name. and he decided to ask you out for good — telling you that it was you he was describing, and he would be glad if you'd go out with him.
[ you ] : you're trending omg
[ gojo satoru ] : i know :D
[ you ] : but now that i rewatched the video, it does seem like you're describing someone, who is it? 😏
[ gojo satoru ] : idk if you're nonchalant or you're just pretending not to know :/
[ you ] : ???
[ gojo satoru ] : it's you, silly. i'm describing you to the world, so now that i've said that — can i please be your boyfriend?
actor! gojo who immediately drives his way to your house when you said yes to him being your boyfriend; he had been holding back the urge to kiss you, holding you close, so when he's yours — he just has to have you close to him.
actor! gojo who was a little upset when you said you wanted to keep the relationship a secret from the world so his fans wouldn't be mad at him. but he accepted it, as long as you're comfortable.
actor! gojo who makes it clear to people on set, including his make up artist, and even director that he now has a partner; and that he's madly in love. everyone on set listens to him talk about you every single day, gojo is so lovestruck that he can't stop talking about you, telling people on set how great you are and how deeply in love he is with you.
actor! gojo who still slips in random selfies and videos of him during work so you won't overthink, he will tell you what he's about to do and with who even if you didn't ask — he didn't want to keep his partner waiting for him, he's communicative to what he's about to do so you won't worry.
actor! gojo who brings you out on a date to a fine dining restaurant one night and it turned out to be the gravest mistake ever when he finds his name trending the very next day, all for the wrong reasons.
actor! gojo who's first worry is you when he was trending. half of his "fans" were bashing the mysterious person (you) off, saying the most mean things ever, and half of his fans were happy that gojo was on a date with you, telling him how they're really happy that he's out on a date despite his busy schedule.
actor! gojo who makes sure you're alright first, telling you how you should never listen to whatever his "fans" are saying — because they're definitely not right, and they're just jealous. he tells you that he will resolve everything, so you don't have to worry about anything.
actor! gojo who clarifies, by quote retweeting a tweet that was meant to hate on you — clarifying that he's married to you (even if he's not), and that you're his partner. he EMPHASIZES on how he's not hesitating to sue anyone who delivered hate, and he's personally keeping track on the usernames of people who had made a hate towards you (he jots them down and screenshots them).
and most of these account decided to deactivate right after his open clarification. losers.
actor! gojo who then made a proper clarification by saying that he is indeed in a relationship with you and that you're his spouse (not yet), and he told the whole world how he won't hesitate to take legal actions to whoever decided to mess with him, his personal life, or you.
actor! gojo who was happy when most of his real fans supported both him and you, and tell you both how happy they are. he giggles and kicks his feet reading the comments about how you both are definitely going to last, and how you both will be the best couple ever. he screenshots them and make an album just for these comments, showing them to you to reassure you that everything was going to be fine. you were going to be fine. you both were going to be fine.
actor! gojo who was asked about you during interviews and he gets so happy and smiley that he gets to show you off in front of the camera, telling everyone how deep in love he is, and how you treat him like the best person in the world. the video went viral and people were so envious of you.
"oh, my spouse? best. person. ever. i met them during a fan meeting, yes. they were a fan of mine — i could say it was love at first sight, i look at them and i just knew i wanted to marry them."
people then began to believe that they have a chance with their own idols, most of them making this a meme, and they use gojo as one of those tiktok standards videos.
actor! gojo who still sends you selfies and videos after a long time of dating, never breaking the routine. even when he has a schedule out of the country — he still makes time for you, engaging in video calls and voice calls despite the time zones, sends you the sweetest voice mails when he can't do a call and brings you the best souvenirs ever.
actor! gojo who casually assumes that you both are married since the first time you both got caught — he bought you a ring, and just slips it on you, telling you that you're both now married. and you casually accepted, you both had your own moment, made the official marriage certificate without anyone knowing. and the next second, he just announces to the whole set who knew about his "clarification" that he's actually, for real, honestly, married to you. and he tells them his clarification wasn't just a lie to get out of the situation.
actor! gojo who posted your face for the first time in his social media after so long, and he trended again. this time, with you. the fans were so happy, he gets so happy when his fans compliments you — and he happily retweets and reposts every single thing they say about you. he's such a proud husband.
actor! gojo who mentions your name whenever he wins an award, once again telling the whole world how he wouldn't be able to make it until now without you by his side. and how he's so thankful that you're always there even during his toughest times. he has a habit of ending his award speech with a: "y/n l/n, you're the love of my life, i love you. mwah."
a fan of his made a compilation of his ending speech for you, and posted it on twitter, which of course, went viral.
actor! gojo who constantly posts you and writes about you on his social media with the cheesiest captions ever, and people were down for it. telling you how lucky you are to have a husband like him, and gojo always replies back by saying he was the lucky one.
actor! gojo who finds out you read fanfictions about him when you miss him, he pokes fun at you for it — but finds you really cute, then you both make it a routine to read fanfictions of him.
"oh, i would totally do that. how did they even come up with these? they're really good at this," gojo laughs, laying his chin on top of your shoulder as you scrolled your phone.
actor gojo! who gets so happy when you come to visit him on set, and gets so motivated because you were there real time to see him on the act. and spends his break with you, the crew on set gets so disgusted by him and posts about how gojo acts around you on social media — and the fans are finding it hilarious, they ask the crew for more information about gojo and you.
actor! gojo who definitely brings you to red carpet awards, wanting you to be there with him. asking the paparazzi to take many pictures of you so that he could save them, and they do. taking your pictures from different angles, posting them on social media so gojo could save them.
actor! gojo who refuses acts where he has to kiss another actor/ress, he didn't mind holding hands or hugging. but when it comes to locking his lips with another person who is not you — he won't do it. even when you tell him that it was fine since it was his job, gojo still refuses, and directors would go lengths as long as gojo will act for them, cutting out the kiss scenes and settling for something less intimate.
actor! gojo who sometimes get caught by paparazzi when he's on the way to visit you or when he's buying a gift for you. telling the paparazzi they shouldn't upload the pictures until a specific date when he's planning to surprise you, and the paparazzi agrees (sometimes), but when some of them uploaded the pictures right on the same day, he gets so upset that they ruined his surprise for you.
actor! gojo who protects you from shameless paparazzis, not hesitating to tell them off in front of the camera for you. because, let's all be real, most paparazzis could be a pain in the ass, they could be awful, and they could be really persistent.
"hey, back off from them. i'll fucking hurt you if you get closer, understand?" and these paparazzi will taunt him for it, but gojo could care less about them, he only cares about your safety.
"i'll ruin your fucking camera, y'piece of shit. don't you fucking dare touch my spouse, i'm serious." he mutters out, pushing away a man who had undoubtedly came rushing over, trying to get you out of the way so he could picture gojo.
actor! gojo who makes it clear that he won't tolerate people being hurting you at all. and he won't be afraid to take a risk to hurt them back for you.
actor! gojo who will sacrifice his job for you. because on camera and behind camera, all he thinks about is you.
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© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
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doctor-donnaa · 2 months
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People have said many times how Fourteenth Doctor is so much more open with feelings and emotions than Ten. But it is especially huge when it comes to Donna specifically. Ten was so reserved and held back so much when it came to expressing feelings and voicing them, that his companions never fully understood how much they meant to him. Ten was very flawed and very HUMAN and while he had so much love in him, he was equally afraid to express it, show it unabashedly. Did Donna ever truly understand how much he loved her? Did he ever tell her how much she meant to him on screen? When Ten knew he was losing Donna, and she was about to disappear in front of him, he knew this was his last moment with her, and the best he could do while she was conscious is hold her at arm’s length and tell her “We had the best of times”. You could see he was dying inside and this moment is killing him but he NEVER SHOWS it to her. While it’s all in his eyes, Ten still doesn’t tell her anything that would have an emotional weight or reveal the whole depth of his feelings.
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Ten kept all his feelings bottled so deep inside, that when they finally started to bleed out, he made the worst mistakes possible. It ended up killing him. And the breaking point was losing Donna. He carried so much guilt over the way he lost her and the way he let her, his best friend in the whole wide universe, down, that it echoed over to the next regenerations, in Eleven’s guilt and Twelve’s face. That scene in the TARDIS in “Let’s Kill Hitler” where Eleven is poisoned, and the TARDIS is showing him images of former companions when Eleven asks “Give me guilt”. The TARDIS shows him Martha first, and there is so much to be guilty about when it comes to Martha, and then Eleven asks for “also guilt”, and the TARDIS shows him Donna, and when Eleven asks for “more guilt”, the image doesn’t change. It is still Donna, TARDIS is showing Eleven the best friend who got let down so hard by the Doctor. And the Doctor still carries that guilt and regret and heartbreak with him, because he loved his best friend and her attachment to him almost got her killed and hurt her in the worst way possible. “Stand too close, and people get burnt”, just like Martha said.
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Fourteen though. He is a completely different person. He doesn’t just love Donna, he ADORES her, he is here FOR HER, this face is here BECAUSE OF HER. He tells a complete stranger he just met that he loves his best friend Donna, and repeats it twice.
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When Donna honestly asks who would care about her 'cause she thinks she is just no one, Fourteen angrily  cries “I DO!”  because that’s his brilliant and amazing best friend who after all these years still thinks so little of herself and he hadn’t been there to remind her of that, and it is all his fault that she doesn’t remember how fantastic and special and extraordinary she has always been and how many times her brilliance saved worlds and lives, including the Doctor’s.
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Fourteen is crying and screaming and breaking down, when he thinks Donna is about to die in front of him, all because he is so afraid of losing her again. Fourteen cradles Donna’s body and cries when he thinks he had lost her and tells the Meep’s soldiers to kill him, because he doesn’t care anymore, because someone he loves so dearly is dead in his arms, and it is all his fault.
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When Donna gets her memories back, Fourteen almost immediately confesses how losing her KILLED HIM and how he remembers every second with her. He tearfully confesses that he has missed her for all those years they were apart, it’s been millions of years they spent apart for the Doctor. All those years the Doctor needed Donna who would make him laugh again, Donna who would keep him grounded, Donna who would call him spaceman and silently hug him when he needed it the most, Donna who would understand and be there and be his touchstone and anchor and guiding light.
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Fourteen knows that she can’t stay with him forever like she used to want to, but he still gives her both of his hearts and tells her how much he cherishes their time together. He offers her coffee just the way she likes it, he remembers such small details about her after literally thousands, millions of years! And he shows it to her. Fourteen is so full of love and he is not afraid to show it, he is rushing to love, to express it before Donna is gone from his life again. And he is trying to make up for all those years as Ten when he couldn’t say these things to Donna, and she never knew just how much she meant to him. Donna never knew that she was his soulmate, that her presence made such an impact and her absence led to Ten’s death and that he died saving her grandad.
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Fourteen kisses Donna’s hands and hair and hugs her like she is the most precious thing he knows. His hugs are also different from Ten’s. Fourteen wraps himself around Donna and holds her tight, this is how he shows his affection. He wants Donna to hear, know AND feel how much he cares. Because he already knows what it’s like to lose her and he wants her to know in case he has to let her go forever again.
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When there is a threat of the world ending and his wonderful selfless Donna once again stresses that it is not about her, the Doctor solemnly replies that it really is. Because here right now in mortal danger he is willing to put her first and thinks of her wellbeing before anything else, because Donna Noble means the world to him.
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Fourteen loves Donna so much, that he is willing to stay with her forever, staying still is not so bad when it’s with her. Fourteen is so tired and weary and bruised and exhausted but when he looks into Donna’s eyes, he doesn’t feel so tired anymore.
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Fourteen got Ten’s face because he needed rest, but also maybe, just maybe, because Ten didn’t want to go so badly that he broke through and got the chance to come back so he could have another chance, to have a life and be with his best friend again and come home. Fourteen was born out of love that Ten had for Donna. And that love (and the TARDIS) brought him right to Donna’s doorstep, so he can hear her call him spaceman again and have the best of times for as long as they live and have a laugh with his family in their shared garden and find out what it’s like to be happy. Fourteen gives his love so openly and freely and he gets to receive it too, he gets to bask in it and revel in it. He finally gets the reward Ten was dreaming about.
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burntoutdaydreamer · 4 months
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To Write Better Antagonists, Have Them Embody the Protagonist's Struggles
(Spoilers for The Devil Wears Prada, Avatar the Last Airbender, Kung Fu Panda 2, and The Hunger Games triology).
Writing antagonists and villains can be hard, especially if you don't know how to do so.
I think a lot of writers' first impulse is to start off with a placeholder antagonist, only to find that this character ends up falling flat. They finish their story only for readers to find the antagonist is not scary or threatening at all.
Often the default reaction to this is to focus on making the antagonist meaner, badder, or scarier in whatever way they can- or alternatively they introduce a Tragic Backstory to make them seem broken and sympathetic. Often, this ends up having the exact opposite effect. Instead of a compelling and genuinely terrifying villain, the writer ends up with a Big Bad Edge Lord who the reader just straight up does not care about, or actively rolls their eyes at (I'm looking at you, Marvel).
What makes an antagonist or villain intimidating is not the sheer power they hold, but the personal or existential threat they pose to the protagonist. Meaning, their strength as a character comes from how they tie into the themes of the story.
To show what I mean, here's four examples of the thematic roles an antagonist can serve:
1. A Dark Reflection of the Protagonist
The Devil Wears Prada
Miranda Priestly is initially presented as a terrible boss- which she is- but as the movie goes on, we get to see her in a new light. We see her as an bonafide expert in her field, and a professional woman who’s incredible at what she does. We even begin to see her personal struggles behind the scenes, where it’s clear her success has come at a huge personal cost. Her marriages fall apart, she spends every waking moment working, and because she’s a woman in the corporate world, people are constantly trying to tear her down.
The climax of the movie, and the moment that leaves the viewer most disturbed, does not feature Miranda abusing Andy worse than ever before, but praising her. Specifically, she praises her by saying “I see a great deal of myself in you.” Here, we realize that, like Miranda, Andy has put her job and her career before everything else that she cares about, and has been slowly sacrificing everything about herself just to keep it. While Andy's actions are still a far cry from Miranda's sadistic and abusive managerial style, it's similar enough to recognize that if she continues down her path, she will likely end up turning into Miranda.
In the movie's resolution, Andy does not defeat Miranda by impressing her or proving her wrong (she already did that around the half way mark). Instead, she rejects the values and ideals that her toxic workplace has been forcing on her, and chooses to leave it all behind.
2. An Obstacle to the Protagonist's Ideals
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Fire Lord Ozai is a Big Bad Baddie without much depth or redemptive qualities. Normally this makes for a bad antagonist (and it's probably the reason Ozai has very little screen time compared to his children), but in Avatar: The Last Airbender, it works.
Why?
Because his very existence is a threat to Aang's values of nonviolence and forgiveness.
Fire Lord Ozai cannot be reasoned with. He plans to conquer and burn down the world, and for most of the story, it seems that the only way to stop him is to kill him, which goes against everything Aang stands for. Whether or not Aang could beat the Fire Lord was never really in question, at least for any adults watching the show. The real tension of the final season came from whether Aang could defeat the Fire Lord without sacrificing the ideals he inherited from the nomads; i.e. whether he could fulfill the role of the Avatar while remaining true to himself and his culture.
In the end, he manages to find a way: he defeats the Fire Lord not by killing him, but by stripping him of his powers.
3. A Symbol of the Protagonist's Inner Struggle
Kung Fu Panda 2
Kung Fu Panda 2 is about Po's quest for inner peace, and the villain, Lord Shen, symbolizes everything that's standing in his way.
Po and Lord Shen have very different stories that share one thing in common: they both cannot let go of the past. Lord Shen is obsessed with proving his parents wrong and getting vengeance by conquering all of China. Po is struggling to come to terms with the fact that he is adopted and is desperate to figure out who he is and why he ended up left in a box of radishes as a baby.
Lord Shen symbolizes Po's inner struggle in two main ways: one, he was the source of the tragedy that separated him from his parents, and two, he reinforces Po's negative assumptions about himself. When Po realizes that Lord Shen knows about his past and confronts him, Lord Shen immediately tells Po exactly what he's afraid of hearing: that his parents abandoned him because they didn't love him. Po and the Furious Five struggle to beat Shen not because he's powerful, but because Po can't let go of the past, and this causes him to repeatedly freeze up in battle, which Shen uses to his advantage.
Po overcomes Shen when he does the one thing Shen is incapable of: he lets go of the past and finds inner peace. Po comes to terms with his tragic past and recognizes that it does not define him, while Shen holds on to his obsession of defying his fate, which ultimately leads to his downfall.
4. A Representative of a Harsh Reality or a Bigger System
The Hunger Games
We don't really see President Snow do all that much on his own. Most of the direct conflict that Katniss faces is not against him, but against his underlings and the larger Capitol government. The few interactions we see between her and President Snow are mainly the two of them talking, and this is where we see the kind of threat he poses.
President Snow never lies to Katniss, not even once, and this is the true genius behind his character. He doesn't have to lie to or deceive Katniss, because the truth is enough to keep her complicit.
Katniss knows that fighting Snow and the Capital will lead to total war and destruction- the kind where there are survivors, but no winners. Snow tells her to imagine thousands upon thousands of her people dead, and that's exactly what happens. The entirety of District 12 gets bombed to ashes, Peeta gets brainwashed and turned into a human weapon, and her sister Prim, the very person she set out to protect at the beginning of the story, dies just before the Capitol's surrender. The districts won, but at a devastating cost.
Even after President Snow is captured and put up for execution, he continues to hurt Katniss by telling her the truth. He tells her that the bombs that killed her sister Prim were not sent by him, but by the people on her side. He brings to her attention that the rebellion she's been fighting for might just implement a regime just as oppressive and brutal as the one they overthrew and he's right.
In the end, Katniss is not the one to kill President Snow. She passes up her one chance to kill him to take down President Coin instead.
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spideyyeet · 1 year
Note
can you plssss do a jealous angsty smut with MMA!Toji? i love me some angst 😣😣😣
✵ UNWARRANTED LUST ✵
mma!toji hates how his relationship needs to be a secret, he hates it more when he can’t say anything when someone’s flirting with his girlfriend
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✵ MMA!Toji Fushiguro x reader ✵
✵ tags — angsttt + age gap + jealous toji + crying + overstimulat*on + subspace + squ*rting + blo*d (in mma fight)+ spit k*nk + makeup s3x + sum soft toji + dacryphilia + pet names + pnssy slapping + nsfw + sfw +
✵ notes — I’ve gotten soo many requests for an angst with mma!toji, yall rlly like the pain💀 some were super specific and idk if I’ll have time to do each one, so I chose the most vague request and will try and combine the ones that were sent it — so again thxs to everyone that has been reading mma!toji and expressing their likes!
18+ — MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
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a quick fyi — most mma fighters only fight like 2-3 times a year but for the purposes of this mma au, I’m disregarding this…:p
toji was your first serious relationship. though you’ve been dating for about two months now. you felt such adoration for him. he taught you so many new things. he was also the man to take your virginity away. him being older than you also had benefits. specifically his understanding nature and the way he spoils you, maybe a little too much. but then there’s his own problems…
the cold drink dribbled down his chin, slipping to his chest as he continued to chug the water. the constant sound of laughter and the beating music of the gym was making his blood pressure rise. his eyes flickering over to the source of the angelic voice. seeing the squint of her adorable eyes as she laughed, her cheeks a dusty pink. but the scene was soured by the man that was drooling over her.
“toji?” getou’s voice brought toji back to his training match in the ring. getou bouncing on his feet as he waited for toji to return.
“mm,” toji grunts, setting his water down as he fixed his hand wrappings, as he stood up. toji’s new couch, sukuna, was instructing him, however, his words were going in one ear and out the other.
“you didn’t know that now did you?” the gruff voice of a fellow fighter echoed through the gym. did it bother toji that he couldn’t outwardly shout and tell them to leave his girlfriend alone? at the moment she was just here to do her job and get photos of him for the paper. she was covering his next fight in the paper, and it was not public knowledge that they were together.
“what’s the problem with telling people?” toji mumbled, as he kissed her cheek, his lips traveling down her neck as he gently rocked his morning wood between her legs.
“i…uh…wait toji,” toji found it so fucking adorable, how you still got so flustered whenever he’d get all sexually excited for you. her hand on his bare chest as she tried to calm her burning cheeks.
“yes?” toji pressed his clothed boner firmly against her exposed slit. her breath hitched, fingers digging into the flesh of chest. she took a shaky breath, collecting her thoughts—her mind always getting scrambled when he touched her like that.
“i have to cover this fight so I can have this story published, and it’ll be in the sports journal this time, which would be amazing for my resume/portfolio, especially since it’s before I’m graduating,” you explain, “but if it gets out that we’re together now, then they’ll probably pull out my story or make a joke out of it.” you say very clearly for the man so he can understand. his head tilting as he looks down at you. your cheeks flush under his gaze.
“but you’re gonna be in the gym,” toji says, his knuckles gently caressing the tops of your breasts that are exposed in his huge tshirt that’s slid down your shoulder, a worried smile lifting on his lips when he sees the way your nipples already perk up through the material. it was too easy.
“i don’t like most of the guys there.” toji deadpans, his eyes lifting up to your flushed face. “they’re gonna be all over you.” you react so obviously to his touch, gaze, smell, you were his. he knew you only wanted him…but you were just so oblivious sometimes. you’re so unaware of all the looks and ways people speak about you. he doesn’t know if it’s a blessing or curse that you only ever entertain him.
“i’m only coming to do my job, besides, it’s not like I’m gonna interview you, ‘m just gonna grab some pictures of you training beforehand, and I’ll talk to sukuna-san about how he’s training you—“
“sukuna-san?” toji had a slight edge to his voice. your eyes squinting at him.
“seriously?” toji sighs, dropping his head on your shoulder.
“i hate journalists,” he grumbles into your skin. you let out a sigh, only to yelp as you feel his rocking start again. “w-wait—“ toji cuts you off with his lips, tongue already between yours as he grunts into your lips as he pulls his leaking dick out.
“no waiting, gonna fill you up,” his words sent your brain overheating.
“don’t say things like th—ah!” his tip entering had your nails digging into his shoulder, your head falling back as he stretched you. “ ‘s big—ah wait wa-ah,” Toji’s tongue licked your lips, as your hips tried to wiggle away from him.
“cmon puppy, open,” his tongue hanging out waiting for you to copy, eyes obediently meeting his as your lips parted, tongue peaking out. he ran his tongue against yours. humming in approval as he felt your gummy walls clench around his tip, trying to suck him in.
“who’s all needy now,” he smiles against your lips as you moan, feeling him enter you. his salvia running down your tongue as you flushed with arousal, his hand pushing the material of your shirt up, exposing your tits as his fingers tweaked at your nipples. “slutty pup,” he whispered, as he licked your ear, your legs instinctively moving higher up his waist as he went deeper.
“faster—please,” you pant, just wanting him to enter you fully, toji laughed in your ear as he rubbed your thigh, his hand moving further down your leg, before he lifted it higher and drove his cock deep into your pussy, your back arching at the surprise as you screamed out. toji smiled as he pulled out and snapped his hips back in, picking up the pace.
that was yesterday. the conversation echoed in his mind the moment you arrived today. sukuna had already spoken to you, and now you were supposed to be getting photos of him. but instead this prick was all over you.
“oi quit with fucking talking!” toji’s shout sent the entire gym halting. your eyes startled wide as you looked over at toji, glaring in your direction, his eyes bleeding into the man’s mind.
“just asking the journalist here some questions, no harm man!” miyori tried to brush off. getou took a step towards toji, there was only a small number of people that knew about the relationship. getou, gojo, his manager, and sukuna.
“if I hear your voice one more time,” toji’s blood was boiling.
“your scaring the journalist, we’re just talking—“
“i’m fine,” you quickly interject, trying to diffuse the situation. “i think I have all the photos I need. ill make my way out now. thank you toji-san, sukuna-san—“
“no you’re not,” miyori cuts you off. you look up at him as he stands a bit too close. toji raises a brow at miyori. “you can stay longer. toji’s always triggered by journalists.”
“uh,” what the fuck are you supposed to say to that?
“besides, I like having you here,” miyori said, catching you slightly off guard. toji cursed to himself, this is why you’re so shit with cutting people off. you could not take compliments for shit. you always got flustered or awkward, and if it was a stranger, like this guy, they’ll definitely get the wrong idea. and you always assume it’s about your job.
“oh um, thanks,” you awkwardly reply, as miyori smiles at you.
“toji it’s fine, cmon,” getou put a hand on toji’s chest. first, getou was slightly nervous to continue fighting a raging toji. second, toji usually tended to lash out on everyone when he was pissed off. third, gym toji was a different level of rage.
“y/n-san,” toji was practically seething, your eyes looking over at the man. your brows furrowed, he needed to calm down. “leave.”
“toji ‘s not a big deal,” the moment miyori’s hand touched your lower back, toji could not compose himself.
“i’m done, anyways, i’ll go,” you knew how upset toji was getting, and besides you were done for the day.
“it’s okay, toji is just—“
“i said it’s fine, you don’t have to stand up for me,” you snap miyori, trying your best not to let him get the wrong idea. he really was just being nice and asking you questions. but now, it was just awkward how he thought he needed to talk for you.
“i’m just helping you out, sweetie,” ew…
“leave her alone. she’s leaving now, so drop it,” toji took in a breath, trying desperately to compose himself, as getou stood in his way with a hand to his chest. the last thing toji wanted to do was expose your relationship and ruin your job, that you so desperately loved.
“i’m leaving,” you quickly grab your things and make a swift exit. the man doesn’t have a chance to stop you, since he was having a stare down with toji.
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toji drops his bag by the door, eyes landing on your back, seated at the kitchen counter typing. the events of the day had his blood a bit too hot as he moved over to you.
“you’re not coming friday,” toji mumbles in your ear, your heart nearly jumping out of your throat.
“fuck—toji, don’t do that,” you take your headphones off. looking over your shoulder at his annoyed expression. “what’s up?”
“you’re not coming friday,” toji repeats, your brow raised as you turned in your seat, his arms were caged around your body. holding the counter behind you.
“the match?” you look at him, he doesn’t answer. “the one in six days? this friday?” he’s quiet. “funny.”
“i don’t want you there,” he says, you rub your eye as you glare at him with the free one
“okay?” you reply sarcastically. “i have a job, I told you.”
“i don’t care,” his words were cold, clearly not joking.
yours brows furrowed. your hand coming up to his chest to push him back, needing some space, especially with how he’s acting. toji stepped back as he looked at you.
“why’re you acting like this?” your eyes try to read him, it’s always been a little difficult especially when he‘s not the type to really expresses himself.
“like what?” he shoots back, your face clearly showing how uninterested you are in his attitude. toji could read you easily.
“like an asshole?” you huff, closing your laptop and getting up from your seat. you moved around the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “this is the first time i’m seeing you fight since we’ve started dating.”
“we’re not dating,” you looked over your shoulder at toji leaning his hip against the counter, arms crossed in his tight black shirt. “we’re not dating in public. that’s what you said.” your eye twitches. “so you’re not coming.” is he really upset about today?
“fine we’re not dating, but I still have a job,” you huff back, drinking the water.
“I don’t care,” toji shrugs. “fuck the job, and fuck the journalism shit.”
“stop it,” your eyes stare back at his cold ones. “if it’s about today—“
“great you catch on, it is about today. exactly why you’re not coming to the match, because all the guys and miyori will be there,” toji breaks, his voice rising, as his bicep flexes a bit in aggression remembering everything that happened today.
“i left after I finished taking the photos, miyori-san was annoying, and I left—“
“no, you left when I told you too, miyori was practically fucking you with his eyes and you took it,” toji laughed, your chest was squeezing and your blood was rising in annoyance.
“i did not. and I left after you told me because you looked like you were going to go ape shit on him. but I wouldn’t have left if I didn’t have everything I needed,” you shot back, as toji looked at you.
“sweetheart, please,” toji squeezed his eyes shut, the sharpness in his voice sent shivers down your spine. “you can’t turn guys down—you just can’t—“
“I did!” you shot back.
“no you didn’t! you were fucking laughing and accepting all the shit that was pouring out of his mouth!” toji was now pissed.
“I was being nice, is that a sin?”
“it is! it is when you’re not clear—you don’t know anything about fucking boundaries. and I can’t even say shit because of your shitty journalist shit—“
“it’s not shit.”
“it is—ah fuck i fucking hate journalists! all the fucking same shit — fuck!” toji was shouting. his words felt like cuts itching into your chest. your eyes filling up with tears.
“asshole,” you mumble. toji rubs his face, hands behind his head as he looks at you. his blood was pumping in his ears as he watched you, move past him.
“I can’t help you if some guy’s hitting on you,” toji looks over his shoulder to see you packing your things in your bag. “hey, y/n—“
“i don’t need you to help me,” you snap, eyes filled with tears as you look up at him. “asshole asshole asshole…” you chant very childishly to yourself as you suck your breath as you quickly pack your bag and grab it moving towards the bedroom.
“are serious? baby,” toji watches you grab your phone from the charger and pushing past him. “y/n!” toji grabs your arm, you look back at him, a deep glare staring back at him, your lashes coated with tears as you bite the inside of your cheek, trying to resist the urge to let that tear slip. “you’re not gonna come friday, alright?”
“ass…” you yank your arm from his grip. “hole.” you storm and grab your jacket.
“y/n! fucking listen, you don’t get it—“
“i don’t get it?” you aggressively put on your jacket. “I don’t get it?? me?” you snort. “who’s the one getting all pissed and being a fucking asshole!! because he’s fucking jealous!” the scream pierced the air like a knife as tears fell down your face.
toji’s jaw clenched. as you grabbed your bag and shoved your boots on.
“y/n it’s late, cmon, i don’t want you to leave,” toji stood in his spot as he watched your disheveled self. tears leaking uncontrollably, still wearing your pajamas.
“sweetheart,” you stood in front of the door, looking up. toji was quiet.
“what?” you waited, the tears pausing for a moment. still fresh on your cheeks as your lip quivered. toji couldn’t bring himself to say it. he’s dealt with fights in past relationships, he’s had things thrown at him. but unlike all the rest of them, he actually cared this time. what made it worse was he knew he was in the wrong, he was being selfish, so fucking selfish, and a fucking asshole. could he fix it? did he want too? or would he rather keep you to himself?
your eyes felt foggy as it filled with tears, your fist clenching as you stood waiting. say something. please. toji-san. the older mans comforting warmth wasn’t there.
“i want to see you…” toji finally spoke, your lip trembled. “but not on friday…don’t come to the match, sweetheart.”
the door slammed behind you, echoing in the large penthouse.
“fuck me,” toji rubbed his face.
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you returned back to your apartment. spending the rest of the night crying. asshole asshole asshole! the chant was on repeat in your head. it wasn’t fair. it wasn’t fair at all! you’re going to the match. you have too, your job and future depends on the story. but…but is it worth risking your relationship?
“asshole,” you choked on a sob as you buried your face in your pillow letting it soak up your quiet tears, curling up into a ball.
toji couldn’t sleep either. his eyes staring up at the ceiling, arm under his head, as the image of your quivering lip and teary face stared back at him. he’s supposed to be a fucking adult, but he still gets jealous over such a frivolous matter. was he doubting your ability to stand up for yourself. did he have a right to judge you for being polite to others? is he just too cold to understand?
the thoughts plagued his mind all night.
“toji, keep it together! there you go!” sukuna clapped, as toji kicked his opponent back, quickly moving in to knock him off balance. gojo called for the end of the match with toji as the victor. sukuna climbing into the ring, patting toji.
“fucking great! this week you’ve been working hard!tomorrow just do a morning run, don’t go too crazy, need you fresh friday!” sukuna undid toji’s gloves as toji hummed.
“toji here’s y/n’s ticket, if she’s going in with the other journalists just rip it up,” gojo was holding the ticket out for toji, who looked up at gojo. “so journalists?” gojo raised a brow, retracting the ticket.
“dunno,” toji huffed back, exiting the ring moving past gojo. getou swiftly moved out of the way, slipping next to gojo.
“this bout yesterday?” gojo asked, the man really had no fear. getou was silent as he quietly watched, resting his chin on gojo’s shoulder, arms around his waist. “you guys fight?”
“told her not to come,” toji wiped his sweaty body with a towel, sukuna leaning on the railing of the ring as he listened as well.
“why?” gojo questioned. yesterday was building up to something, but after you left, getou and the rest assumed toji had calmed down.
“you think the guys will hit on her?” getou answered tojis concerns easily.
“they will, and she can’t even say anything back,” toji pinched his nose, trying to calm the growing headache from yesterdays fight.
“well it’s not like she’s gonna cheat on you,” sukuna chimed in. “she is pretty young, but she has some serious balls. it’s cute that she gets awkward around compliments, but whenever she talks she’s professional which is hilarious,” sukuna says as gojo and getou agree.
“she’s doing her job,” toji scoffs. “so fuckin annoying. fuckin publicity, and press shit,” toji rubbed his temple.
“stop freaking out,” gojo snapped at him, toji shot him a glare. “you should act more your age, old man.”
“fuck off,” toji was annoyed, it’s been almost a week since he’s seen you. you haven’t returned or answered any of his texts or calls. he wanted to know how you were doing, how are you feeling. didn’t you have an exam yesterday, he wanted to know how it went. but instead he was alone every night, with only your scent on his bed and around the penthouse.
“i agree,” sukuna raised an arm as toji tsked. “grow some balls. it’s just cuz you fuck her and think the way she acts around you is the way she acts around everyone else,” sukuna easily explains.
toji is quiet. he just assumed you’re like that with everyone, but it was just the dumbass anger issues. toji left without another word, as the three men watched in amusement.
the knock echoed in the apartment. toji impatiently knocking, until the door finally opened. glaring back at him with an annoyed expression was your roommate, soi.
“she’s not here,” she answers before he could speak.
“where?”
“not here,” she stares back.
“when will she be back—“
“dunno, so you should leave. she doesn’t wanna see you,” she states, he looks over her shoulder at your room door. it was indeed open, and you did not seem to be in there.
“great,” he was annoyed, very much so. he knew you were here, you’re keys and phone clearly on the small kitchen counter, but he knew he couldn’t barge in. you’d get more pissed. should he tell you to come to the match? or would you be annoyed and think he’s telling you what to do?
“tell her I won’t be mad whatever she chooses to do,” he told soi, as she stared at him with dead eyes.
“not telling her that,” she replies, toji sucks in a breath.
“thanks,” toji forces a smile.
“you’re not welcome,” the door slams in his face. soi stares at the closed door, before letting out a shaky breath. nerves filling her body.
“y/n/n he’s fucking huge, that was so scary!” she shakes her body as she turns back to you who is now popping out from behind the small kitchen counter, hand over your mouth.
“shhh he could still be outside,” you shush her as she freezes, eyes wide.
“is he gonna beat me up?” she whispers through her hand. you both stare at each other, dead silent, hands over your mouths. hearts beating in your ears.
toji did in fact hear the entire thing. glad that you at least heard his message, turning he made his way out. you sneaked quietly to the pep hole, looking through.
“he’s gone,” you sigh. as soi releases as shaky breath.
“my legs were shaking the entire time,” soi laughs, you were thankful she was there to answer the door. however, your blood only seemed to boil.
“asshole,” you mumble, soi quiets as she looks at you. “fucking—I was gonna go anyways, it’s my job,” you seethe, clicking your tongue in annoyance.
“mhm mhm, shove it in his face that it was your choice,” soi hypes you, but then going quiet. “but like don’t make him mad…that’s scary.”
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the confidence and nerves was building up all day. your stomach turning as you walked into the stadium. getting through with your journalist pass your job provided for you. i won’t be mad. i won’t be mad. his words were printed into your mind. doesn’t fucking matter—selfish bastard—you were mad. he criticized your job and you. asshole.
you sat in your seat as the fighters came up. your eyes brighten when toji came jumping onto the stage, the entire audience cheered loudly, incredible fans screaming. toji was unbothered by all the noise, instead looking around…
your eyes met his, the brief exchange sent a flush rising up your cheeks, stupid, quickly remembering and looking away. toji’s eyes stayed on you, until sukuna came over and spoke to him.
“y/n-san,” your eyes looked up as you saw miyori coming up to you.
“miyori-san,” you replied curtly.
“oh this is shinji,” he introduced the other man beside him, who you briefly met last week. you nodded at the two, looking away as the match began. toji obviously noticed the two men sitting next to you. inhaling sharply, as they leaned close, talking in your ear over all the noise.
toji was growing more and more frustrated. you stood clicking your camera, only for the two men to come follow you. your heart was beating fast watching the fight. toji was taking too many hits. cmon! he’s being working so hard. as much as he acted indifferently, toji really did enjoy the sport. and you loved watching him fight.
“and I was saying—“
“dude, i have a job. could you please lay off?” you snap at miyori. his brows furrowed.
“I’m just talking,” he laughed, wondering what’s going on.
“no you’re flirting,”
“and that’s a problem?” he raised a brow.
“it is when I’m not interested, so if you could let me do my job,” you turn back to the fight, watching toji.
“hey, what’s with the switch, is it toji—“ wow men really are fucking brainless.
“it’s no one. it’s me. i’m not interested. so fuck off. do I have to tell you I have boyfriend or girlfriend, cuz you can’t take a fucking hint or some shit? cant be polite to anyone anymore.” you scoff, turning away. men really don’t know how to back off unless you tell them you’re with someone or if you snap at them.
“bitch,” he comes up, only for gojo and getou to quickly step in. backing them down. you hadn’t noticed, too occupied with staring at toji.
“cmon cmon,” you cheered under your breath. heart racing as toji went after his opponent. your body flinched when toji took a punch to the rib. but he quickly recovered and got his opponent with an aggressive hook. you were shouting with the rest of the audience until toji finally knocked his opponent out.
“FUCK YES!” you screamed as the entire stadium erupted in cheers. you captured so many great photos as toji was bombarded by press. your cheeks were flush, as you were suddenly filled with the urge to see him. but… not here.
toji looked everywhere for you afterwards. getting treated in the lockerroom, as he asked gojo and getou where you’d gone. toji’s heart sank once they said that you left. fuck.
toji was escorted back to his penthouse. holding an ice pack to his nose as he pushed past the crowd in front of the entrance. should he go to your apartment? should he beg you to forgive him? he wasn’t a beggar. but he wanted to see you.
dropping his bag by the door, he moved to take his shoes off—suddenly noticing the familiar shoes.
“I just came here to tell you that I was gonna go to the match regardless if you came by my place or not,” you huff, cheeks puffed pointing at toji as he stared up at you frozen. you were here. his green eyes sent a warm wave filling your body. “i like being a shitty journalist, so fuck you for being an asshole. and i do stand up for myself—but i don’t need to tell anyone I have a boyfriend for them to leave me alone.” your voice was firm as you tried your best not to break face, but the way toji was looking at you—
toji couldn’t stop his feet. his hands grabbing your face as he kissed you. “i love my shitty journalist,” he kissed your lips over and over.
“lo-love—?“ you held his wrists, mind dazed at what he just said. you looked up at him, as he stared at you with such warmth.
“I love you,” toji mumbled, as he licked your lips. “i’m always selfish. i love being selfish. and i love being selfishly yours,” he sighed against your open lips. his adrenaline still pumping from the match.
“i hate it when you’re selfish,” you breathe against his lips as he hums.
“i know,” he kisses you, deepening it, letting his tongue enter your mouth. moaning as he easily picks you up. his lips staying on yours as he lays you down on the bed. your moaning and heaving as he pulls away. you both strip as you stand on the bed quickly pushing your pants, pulling your legs out as toji looks up at you, hands grabbing at your waist once you’ve successfully gotten the clothing off.
“you’re still mad?” toji bites your nipple, making you yelp in surprise, grabbing his hair. you looked down at him. his eyes teasing as he tugs at the bud.
“you haven’t apologized for real,” you reply, as toji hums around the bud, pulling away and lifting your leg over his shoulder, kneeling on the bed.
“i said I love you,” toji kisses your pussy, his words already had your heart fluttering, but still…
“no…you need to apologize then,” your hand holds his shoulder for stability, as he licks through your puffy folds, teasing your clit with his tongue, moaning at the taste. he holds your waist, as you hunch over as he sucks in your clit. “ah toji—apol ah—“
toji holds you steady as your shaking leg gives out, he smiles, against your pussy, carefully holding you in his arms dropping you on the bed. your hips jump as you still feel his tongue lapping at your pussy. he pulls away to spread your legs wider. spitting on your pussy.
“apologize?” toji raises a brow as he spreads you open, enjoying the sight of you trying to hide your moans, his tongue entering your hole. he slings an arm around your thigh, holding you down on the mattress.
“yes!” you yelp as his thumb rubs your clit, drooling on your pussy. he missed eating you out, the way you clawed as his shoulder and rubbed up against his tongue. “asshole, so annoyi—uh—“ you can’t help the moans slipping as toji puts everything into eating you out.
“love your little pussy,” toji laughs as you call him names laced with moans. your legs trembling as you try to push him away.
“can’t—‘s ‘s not—toji!” your hips jump, rubbing against his tongue, only for him to hold you down, wanting to see your legs tremble as you ride your high. toji hums lapping at your clear juices, thumb pressing against your clit as you push your foot down on his shoulder, only for him to grab your ankle.
“what?” he huffs, looking at you with dilated pupils. he’s much more pent up than he usually was after training, since he had just won a match.
“you ate me out, when you didn’t apologize,” you’re still glaring at him. not ready to back down.
“you were drippin n rubbin up on my tongue,,” toji snaps, his chest rising and falling, trying to control himself as he sees the way you lean up on your elbows, face just inches from his.
“i think you’re the one who wanted it,” you press, watching the way his lip curls sarcastically.
“you wanna play it like that?” toji grabs your face, your eyes sharp, testing him.
“i just want an apology, asshole,” tojis mind is heated, you were so hot right now..he doesn’t waste a moment in capturing your lips.
“ya grow some balls in the last week?” toji says between kisses, you yelp as you feel his fingers push into you, pumping you open.
“what’re you—“ you’re caught off guard, screaming in pleasure as toji has you cumming a bit too quickly.
“at least i still know your body better than you,” toji laughs as you tremble in his arms, eyes foggy. toji knew you always get a bit light headed after cumming—
“fuck…you,” you pant, turning your head to look up at him. toji’s eyes are lien with lust. “uncalled for—wait!”
his fingers circling your clit again as he slaps your pussy, your eyes quickly filling with tears, the overstimulation was knocking the wind out of you.
“you’ve got quite the mouth, baby, cmon keep talking,” toji is biting and licking your collarbone and neck as you cry, holding his wrist as you feel yourself reaching another high. his fingers deep inside you.
“fucking—ah—“ you’re holding him close as you cum, only for toji to flip you on your stomach, his lips kissing your shoulder as you try and catch your breath. he’s giving your pussy some gentle slaps, your mind dizzy as you look back.
“you like it when I play with you?” toji holds your chin as you meet his feral gaze.
“you like it…more,” you pant, “y-you’re mine…toji-san,” you knew exactly what to say to get this man playing with you. his hand grabbing your hips up as he’s kneeling up, pumping his thick dick, and pushing into you.
“fuck, you’re such a brat,” toji groans, your words immediately got to him. it’s always the san. toji is snapping his hips into you, his hand holding your own as he drives into your cunt hitting your sweet spot each time. your tears are soaking the sheets as your lips part with moans.
at this point, you lost track of how many times he'd already made you cum. it was all you could do to grip the sheets while he held onto your hips, your arms giving out as he fucked roughly behind you. his thick cock stretched your pussy, hitting every spot to have your toes curling.
“ugh so good, always feels so fuckin good,” toji was moaning against your ear as he grunts, hips rutting into you. you’d lost your voice already, only turning your head, as toji met your gaze. the sounds of his heavy balls slapping you was faded.
“to..ji..” your voice calling for him always sent him, his adrenaline was so unbelievably high. his lips meeting yours, as you whined for him, legs shaking.
“fuck me, sucking me in so tight, love,” toji’s arm wrapped around your middle, lifting you up to sit on his lap, back arching against his sweaty chest, as he moved you above him as he snapped his hips up. the base of his cock had a ring of cum as you shuddered at the overstimulation.
“more more…” your eyes were practically crossed, drool slipping from your lips as your head went back, holding his arm around your waist. you were beyond fucked out, but it felt so good. he always filled you up so perfectly.
“fhuck puppy,” toji’s groans were much louder than usual, his stomach clenching as you egged him on with moans and pleads. his body was in pain from the bruises and cuts from the fight, but hearing you cry his name had his body pushing its limits. your eyes filling with tears as he pressed his palm on your stomach, pushing against the flesh to feel himself inside you. your eyes stung as you screamed out, shaking above him.
“that’s it, so deep inside ugh my puppy,” toji moans as your back arches away from him, nails digging into his upper thigh and arm, as your gummy walls suck him in, tightening so he can’t even move. your words are incoherent as your legs trembling until finally gushing around him. “shit, spraying everywhere pup,” toji swears as he feels you squirting some more, wetting his thighs and dick .
his arm squeezes your waist, clenching his jaw. “gonna—shit…gonna cum if ya don’t loosen up, pup,” toji is struggling feeling his balls tighten as your cries die out, toji feels your nails loosen on his thigh.
“ ‘ji,” your lips ghost his neck, drool slipping onto his skin as your mind wanders space. “fill meh uhp,” your hot breath sends a wave through his body as toji swears under his breath.
toji’s thrusts get unsteady as he holds you tight, burying his face in your neck as he moans, emptying his balls. toji’s palm is flat on your stomach as he feels his hot cum paint your walls. your eyes are glazed as toji rocks into you, milking out everything he’s got, as your body shudders.
toji pants, somehow losing all sense whenever you speak to him during sex. toji holds your face as he turns you to look at him. “shit, pup,” he sighs, seeing how out of it you were. your eyes seeing stars as it flutters shut. he pulls out, laying you down. your cheeks stained with tears and drool, as toji kisses your lips. “you fucked me up,” toji mumbles, knowing you already knocked out.
he did a number on you. he sat up, still catching his breath as he rubbed his face—
“ toji,” your voice was barely above a whisper. toji dropped his hands as he felt your body slump on his thigh. your hand reaching for his face. he leaned down letting you grab his face pulling him to meet you at eye level. “i made you fuck me like this,” your body is still trembling.
“you got worked up, cuz of me,” you make it clear. eyes staring directly into his. toji was silent…shocked. everything you were saying was true. you knew exactly what to say to get him going at you like crazy. even though he knew your body perfectly, you knew how to make him act on it.
“so….” your eyelids were so heavy. “so…” fuck, toji watched you slump against his chest. your body and mind finally giving out. toji sighed, looking down at you.
“surprised you could move,” toji rested his hand on your head, gently stroking you. the man ripped the dirty sheets off the bed wiping away the cum on your bodies and tucked you into the clean ones. finally knocking out.
the light shining in from his huge windows, had you burying your face into the mattress. your mind a bit slow, still laced with sleep as you groaned into the mattress. slowly waking up, you turned your head, your eye looking at the window, thinking…
toji told you he loved you. you knew that whole confession was his form of an apology…but still…
“ugh,” toji groaned feeling a weight on his stomach.
“wake up,” your voice had him reaching out, to feel you, only for you to push his hand away.
“what?” his low groggy voice, sent your cheeks flushing, but you ignored it. he rubbed his eyes, arm falling behind his head as he looked up at you. “you’re up before me?” he was surprised.
“you have to apologize and say it,” you huff, you were straddling his waist, finger pointed at his chest as the other was folded across your chest. toji raised a brow, he could see you were in desperate need of a hot shower, especially with the bruises that littered your body, and the way your legs shook a bit.
“you look cute, face all pouty like that,” toji teased, making your brows knit together.
“I’m being serious, you didn’t say it last night,”
“maybe I did and you didn’t hear me. your little cunt was spraying every second, you could barely talk,” your face went red, lips parting then closing at what he’d just said. toji smirked, seeing your face.
“well…well then it wouldn’t hurt to say it again then,” you quickly recover.
toji was surprised how dominant you can act. with the way you were talking to him last night and now. and he didn’t hate it. no….not at all. it was cute and hot. and in the end…you were right. even though this is a bit childish, he doesn’t mind it. doesn’t mind catering and coddling you. he knew what you wanted.
“i’m sorry,” he finally said it. your lips parted.
“sorry for what?” your chest is rising and falling, he can tell you’re waiting to give yourself away. so he sighed, eyes looking up at you as he spoke softly.
“sorry for being an asshole, and not believing in you,” his hand came up rubbing your thigh as you smiled down at him, still waiting.
“and?” wow you’re milking it. his hand splayed flat on your thigh, green eyes warming to your bright ones, hair pushed out of his face.
“i’m yours.”
your face beamed, finally leaning down to kiss him.
“who told ya, ya can be all possessive and bossy?” toji asked between kisses.
“you did,” you giggle, toji humming.
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needle-noggins · 10 months
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(CW for SA, suicidal ideation) Here we go. My favorite and simultaneously least favorite panel of Vash and Knives.
I've seen a few interpretations of this scene and before we dive into the one that really struck me, let's start with the more... chill one. We're finally introduced to the third gun of Trigun, Vash's angel arm. And the way we're introduced to it involves Knives forcing him to pull the trigger. Of course, since no one knows anything about Knives, the people of Noman's Land blame Vash for Fifth Moon, and Vash likewise blames himself (this is kinda a spoiler but if you've been paying attention, it's just par for the course). However, he's not the one who pulled the trigger, Knives is. It brings up an interesting moral question of blame - do we blame the gun (and Vash, who is being used/objectified as a weapon here), or the person who wanted it to happen? Guns don't kill people, genocidal twins do!
Now for the awful interpretation, the one that makes me cry and wish Vash was real so I could hug him and pay for his therapy. And really highlights how awful Knives is and how far he'd go for his brother in his own, fucked-up way. I touched on this in a previous post about Legato and the Murder Cafe, and the whole time I was thinking about Fifth Moon but didn't want to say anything for the sake of spoilers.
So. Pay attention to the way Vash and Knives are standing. Knives, when he first grabbed Vash's head, was standing in front of him. He moves behind him to better control him and yeah, he's still controlling him via hand on head, and now he's got his other hand gripping Vash's chest, where feathers/wings are manifesting. Knives is assaulting him. If you wanna get crazy with it and say that the angel arm is kinda phallic, you could say... yeah. This is rape. I heard that specific interpretation once and while I accepted it I also don't know if that would be generally accepted or if I'd be called out for it, so I'm trying to tread lightly here.
It also doesn't escape me that of course the angel arm has feminine features like the plants - the plants that, again, humans are exploiting for their ability to create. There's a lot of feminist commentary to be made here but many people have said it better than me. Specifically I'm thinking of this one post I saw about gender fuckery and Tristamp Vash. Anyway.
Also, the atomic bomb/black hole/sun/whatever that is in the middle... It's just so powerful. It's terrifying. The eldritch body horror here is a punch to the gut. What the fuck, Trigun? I thought this was a funky space western!!!
Oh, and here's more commentary on the following few panels:
Vashussy shot, Knives is still right behind him. Yeah, I wasn't kidding about how bad this pose is for them. Knives, you sick fuck.
Vash shoots himself in the leg (a key difference from '98 trigun, lol), because of course he does, but it doesn't free him from the arm.
The arm's getting darker/the light inside is getting lighter! Stampede did an awesome job with their interpretation of the angel arm and I don't think I would have understood it without that. Also, on my first read I didn't notice that Vash is literally levitating, which is cool, but also terrifying because ?? he's not in control of that either??
Finally. A super painful, minimalist, double-page spread. Nightow loves 'em. Vash thinks he's dying (maybe?) and he wishes he had never existed. It's not suicidal ideation per se, but he wishes he didn't exist at all because he's already caused enough suffering. This is a low for him, because he believes so strongly in the concept of the Blank Ticket. (Come on, soupy brain bitch boy, get it together!) He's a monster, it's just how he was born, and he's not in control. Very specifically too, he says "we", and then changes it to "I"... he doesn't blame Knives at all, and that's very him. I want to shake him! Stop playing the martyr, Vash!
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