#still have no idea what im doing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lightmage670 · 17 days

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Ok so I just got a badge for posting 100 things so I'm guessing that means posts like this and any rb with any additions I make, like tags and shit. Honestly I didn't think I rb'ed that many things with tags, so cool I guess

#tumblr #still have no idea what im doing #but i think im learning

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suunanigans · 7 months

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rawr xd feeling silly time to post on tumblr just bcuz i can!!!!!!!!!!!!

#i have no idea what im doing #still have no idea what im doing #digital art #digital drawing #digital illustration #digital artist #rawr x3

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muffiediver · 10 months

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#still extremely hurt #still have no idea what im doing #can i get a yeehaw

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inkskinned · 6 months

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no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.

too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.

2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?

but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.

as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.

which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.

the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.

so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.

and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.

but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.

people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".

but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.

but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.

a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.

i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.

and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.

it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.

#spilled ink #writeblr #warm up #like if im getting fatshamed. babe......... wake up #is there fat on my body? yes :)#btw this behavior wouldn't be okay even if I WAS overweight!!! that is my point!!!#it is both that people have no idea what weight is supposed to look like #and even if they DID... they do not seem to understand that PEOPLE ARE NOT DOLLS #YOU DO NOT GET TO TELL THEM HOW TO EXIST #if you respond anything akin to ''but raquel there IS an obesity epidemic''#you're blocked and reported.#go fucking DONATE TO A FOOD BANK THEN. volunteer in a food desert. start a free fitness program #GO GET A DEGREE AS A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AND PRACTICE IN NUTRITION IN UNDERPRIVILEDGED LOCATIONS #FIGURE OUT HOW TO LOWER FOOD COSTS. FIGURE OUT HOW TO NORMALIZE AND STANDARDIZE #ACCESS TO FARM-FRESH FOOD. PROVIDE ACTUAL FREE ACCESS TO OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES #FIGURE OUT HOW TO TEACH PEOPLE HEALTHY CHOICE MAKING WHILE ALSO LOWERING THE COST OF MEALS.#THE AVERAGE GROCERY BILL OF THE AMERICAN CITIZEN HAS QUADRUPILED IN THE LAST YEAR.#SHUT. THE FUCK. UP!!!!!!!!!#you don't want to help these people!!!!!#you want to bully them but still feel like a good person!#you want to be justified in your hatred of an entire CLASS of people!!!#you don't give a fuck about how it makes them feel!!!!#you care ONLY about whether or not YOU get to VIRTUE SIGNAL that YOURE so thin and pretty!!!!#it is BECAUSE of people like you #and the fact you tolerate fatphobia - BECAUSE of that normalization. that men like the one who called me fat #feel like they can get away with it.#bc there's a line for you where you WOULD be okay with it. where if i WASNT thin you'd be okay with it.#which means the line can always be pushed in a certain direction. and it's always going to appeal to male aesthetics.#''well you didn't deserve it'' maybe fucking NOBODY does babe. maybe we should just all agree not to comment on ppls bodies!!

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mblue-art · 3 months

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BAD SANSUARY // [29] glow for owl-bones's event !

pov u attacked the little error doll he gave u w/ sooo many smoochies and he felt all of it

alt. vers. under the cut !

#badsansuary #error!sans #error sans #mblue art #tsundere idiot. get loved on <3 #i like the idea of him having a dual-color blush but i'm still trying to figure out how to do that;; i think it ended up looking good :0 !#also!! love the idea of error making a (magic-infused?) plush doll of him for whatever reasons; i think its cute and thoughtful #have little guy w/ u by ur side whenever he's away so u can cuddle him whenever u miss him;#it being infused w/ magic (?) making it somehow possible for him to feel the hugs n kisses;#i think it's a nice way to be physically affectionate w/ him even when he still has haphephobia #(haha oh man im rlly kissy for badsansuary HSBJHSBDFJSDH wait 'till you see the next one 😎 bet u cant guess what's in it 😎😎 /silly)

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months

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saw @chez-cinnamon's absolutely BANGER butterfly!Howdy design and couldn't resist! two fluffy flutterbyes <3 solidarity

#still unsure of Why this was the only pose that came to mind but! who am i to deny the brain what it wants #i also have no idea what it is about butterflies and mullets + extra fluff #it just feels Right.#oh also if you haven't checked out chez-cinnamon's Real World au uhhhh Go Do That!!!#its fun! its funky! its fresh! its got a lot of great art! its got a Comic!#emphasis on a Lot Of Great Art!#i will admit im emotionally invested in the plot. its reeled me in. im Fascinated by it #also(x2) i Cannot get over how swagtastic that butterfly howdy design is #like!!! look at it!!! the colors the patterns the WINGS agh the wings <3<3<3 #truly a unique and creative design that im totally not jealous of ahaha what-#kidding im Kidding. or am i... i am i am #scribble garnish #yassified howdy <3 #welcome home #alrighty its officially 2 am i needed to be asleep uhhhhh three hours ago #gonna queue this up and conk out. while lovingly thinking of chez-cinnamon's butterfly howdy my fucking GOD #cant get over how Gorgeous he is #the facial patterns.... the colors.... immaculate #top tier design i am Taking Notes #ok ok sleeping now. Sleeping. snz snork mimi and all that. etc

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biblically-accurate-dca · 10 months

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keep it up!

#my art #moondrop #daycare attendant #i've been getting a lot of attention here lately.. thank you everyone!!#im almost at 200 followers which is. wow #unfortunately i draw very slowly so i can't post very consistently #maybe for 200 i'll make that accurate dca tutorial? i'll see what i can do #anyway.. about this drawing!! it has a funny story #so.. my 'kill everyone' tshirt sun drawing actually does have a matching moon!! because i drew the idea months ago #back when i was still figuring out how i wanted to draw them #so this moon was supposed to be the matching moon shirt.. but i couldnt get the face to look right so i gave up lol #but i'll probably try again later.. in the meantime i'll keep chipping away at my other drawings

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samarecharm · 11 days

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I wish the thieves had SOME kind of reaction to the Satanael awakening. Kinda wish we at least had RYUJI react to it….

I think its sooooo compelling to have Ryuji be the only person to witness BOTH awakenings; to see how much Akira and his will has grown since they first met. There was a raw, burning fury in Akiras core that recoiled at the injustice before him, and when given the tools to punish said injustice, eagerly accepted it with a wild, almost manic kind of intensity. I think it would be difficult for the others to truly grasp just how scary that was; that for a short moment, Ryuji couldnt pinpoint the cause of that rage, and the target of it. Akiras mellowed out alot since then, but its always in the back of Ryujis head; theres a side of their leader literally none of the thieves have or will ever see, and he doesnt really know how hes supposed to feel about that.

And now the airs charged in the same way he felt back in Kamoshidas palace; right as Akiras eyes widened at seeing him slammed against the wall. The blazing, untamed ferocity in his eyes from back then is replaced with a cool, calm, steely conviction. He knows his purpose; understands completely what his will screamed at him to understand back when it first started. This is the Akira the team knows, and its definitely the one Ryuji is used to now, but its insane to see the shift; insane to see the kind of power that simmered in Akiras core, literally too big and too overwhelming for past Akira to grapple with and set free.

Satanael comes down, and theres a moment, through all the excited screaming and hollering, where Ryuji can see it look right at him, and Ryuji is taken back to the floor of Kamoshidas Palace; not to the fear he felt when Arsene came forth incinerating everything, but immediately after, when Akira comes to with wide eyes and an outstretched hand- that bizarre feeling of safety, of knowing that this kid would have his back, and that hed never have to worry about where his place would be (its right beside him, obviously.)

#chattin #long post #pegoryu #OUGH #just thinking about Satanael leaning down to get at face level w everyone after the fight #and hes like #‘its been a pleasure to finally see you in person; chariot’#and ryujis like. finally?? HUH. *chuckles nervously* What Does That Mean.#like obv it is based off of hcs n shit but i like the idea that Satanael TRIED to awaken; like he was so EAGER to get out #and Akira was too new and still too scared to accept that (without realizing it)#so arsene is what manifested instead #like #akiras will reacted SO strongly to ryuji getting cornered that he almost skipped a stage #and satanael SAW the object of his (almost) awakening #hed be happy to see the guy who gave the trickster the strength to go through w awakening #and ryuji would be like im. sorry… but i think. i would remember. um. someone that uh. big.#hed be so flustered. like man. not again. i went through ONE awakening and took weeks to be normal again.#do i really have to go through it again? really? really ????????#anyway. rambling #ryuji was a disaster through BOTH of akiras awakenings. hes relentlessly teased about it forever

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sonknuxadow · 2 months

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LOVE LOSES !!!!!!!!!!!!

#sorry the idea of most of sonics rivals having a crush on him while sonic himself doesnt know or just doesnt care is really funny to me #anyway idk how i feel about how this looks i jusst kinda rushed it out to get it out of my head #wihtout caring about it looking perfect #this is what i was talking about earlier btw.#when i said i wasgonna try to draw something for valentines but its not actual serious ship art #im a little late . but its still the 14th somewhere im sure #sonic the hedgehog #sth #shadow the hedgehog #knuckles the echidna #jet the hawk #am i allowed to tag the ships if theyre one sided will people get annoyed with me if i do that #whatever im doing it anyway. at the very least so people who dont wanna see ship stuff can filter it out #sonadow #sonknux #sonjet #my art #to be completely honest i dont feel anywhere near as strongly about the idea of shadow liking sonic as i do knuckles and jet liking sonic #but he gets to be included because i cant just make a joke about sonics rivals without including shadow

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drawnfamiliarfaces · 5 months

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since that ask...I.... *puts head in hands*... keep thinking about them.

#rc9gn first ninja #first ninja #rc9gn #xiaolin showdown #chase young #i really want to call this crossover:#ninja showdown #no text because i have no idea what them binches would be sayin lol #and while im still debating if it do be 'shippin' or not im really tempted to call ship 'my immortal' because im hilarious #but no seriously what would one call a ship where one is basically an immortal soul living in a book and a soulless immortal dragon??#my immortal soul #first ninja x chase young

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mc-tummy-blur · 10 months

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Wait wait wait Nimona was trying to build a connection with Gloreth after being rejected by animals and Gloreth was accepting of her despite being a shape-shifter but Nimona was seen as a monster by the village which then made Gloreth switch her opinions because her parents and the village told her that Nimona was a monster and tried to kill her then 1000 years later Ballister ended up building a connection with Ambrosius a descendant of Golreth and after being rejected by the knights throughout his whole life basically since training started young Ambrosius was accepting of him despite being a commoner but then he was seen as a murderer by the town which had made Ambrosius changed his opinion on him because of what he had seen and what the knights/Director were telling him but unlike Gloreth who while was reluctant at first to treat Nimona as a monster but then gave into hating her and wanting her to die like the people around her did Ambrosius had been reluctant throughout the whole ordeal but in the end stayed committed to Ballister because he loved him despite what everyone else was saying about him and its like the movie was already drawing parallels to how Ballister and Nimona were the same and viewed as outcasts/monsters/murderers but there's notable parallels to Gloreth and Ambrosius in how they were people close to Nimona and Ballister and it came to a point where they had to go against them but the key difference in what happened was the side they chose and the aftermath when they were being forced to chose a side and it really showcases how their generations were different thus their mindsets were different in handling the situation and its just exactly like in real life when it comes to queer people like people especially children can be conditioned to hate queer people with enough fear mongering/hate speech and that's exactly what happened with Gloreth in how she ended up treating Nimona and it was going to happen with Ambrosius but a saving grace was that he was much older so it was harder to change his opinions on Ballister that and he is in a different time period than Gloreth showing how things had drastically changed and advanced in many areas and i feel that the whole point with the parallel between Gloreth and Ambrosius is that times have changed and how even though our past generations have treated queer people like they are monsters and that we should hate them when in reality its not too late for our generation to treat them like equals and that we should love them like holy shit this movie is so insanely and unapologetically queer in so many ways that I did not imagine was humanly possible

#nimona #nimona movie #nimona spoilers #netflix #ballister boldheart #ballister blackheart #ambrosius goldenloin #gloreth #nd stevenson #lgbtq #do you see what im seeing here i suddnely just realized this and its so insane to me like theres so much detail/meaning in this movie #like theres layers to this movie i have no idea if the graphic novel showcased this but still #this movie may be a corner stone in queer rep in animated movies #theres also something to be said about how Ambrosius broke the cycle of hatred/bigot ideas in his family bloodline #mctalks

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lightmage670 · 17 days

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So apparently this (yes this specific post you're reading) is post 501 on this thing, which I think is really funny for three reasons:

1: I've only actually posted one thing entirely my own

2: I've reblogged with an actual comment on a thing literally once (go find where I ranted about elon if you're curious)

3: Everything else is me basically just quick reblogging, because I can't really be bothered with adding useful tags most of the time

Anyways I know this is just me shouting into the void but it brings me a modicum of joy.

#tumblr #still have no idea what im doing #but im doing better

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haahka · 1 year