Tumgik
#still need to code this new scenes too though that should take me but a couple of hours
luveline · 11 days
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hi! i just remembered a scene from friends where chandler says to monica it's ok she's high maintenance cause he likes maintaining her and i think this is soooo spencer and bombshell!reader coded. you're ok with writing this as a request? love u jadey
ty (ily)!! fem!reader
Spencer’s feet ache dully with each step he takes, but you have your hand in his, and you’re pulling him along with a smile. Your smile could cure anything, he thinks stupidly. It’s completely outside of his beliefs, goes against every book on medicine he’s ever read. 
“Why are you frowning?” you ask, swinging his hand as you turn the corner together. 
“I’m not.” 
You step closer, arm stuck to his arm, nearly one body walking together against the summer breeze. “You’re frowning, Spence. You have a very obvious pout. It is so so cute.” You lean in to kiss him quickly, his heart turning to a pitter-patter under his ribs. 
“I’m tired,” he explains, not wanting you to think his bad mood has anything to do with you. 
“You’ve had a long day, that’s why. When we get back to your place I’ll give you an incredible foot massage and everything will be okay again.” 
“I don’t want a foot massage. My feet don’t even hurt,” he lies.
“Don’t bother.” You untangle your fingers from his and wave him away. “I know all your tells, baby boy,” —he laughs through a wrinkled nose— “nothing gets past me.” 
“Why’d you choose a dry cleaners so far from your apartment?” he asks. You could’ve picked the one beside work, which has a yellow pages worth of fantastic reviews. The one second closest to his place is new but raved about at length. This dry cleaners is nearly twenty-five blocks away.
“They do things exactly how I like it, I guess. I never have to worry about it when I give them my best clothes, and it’s kind of expensive if they were to accidentally ruin something, right?” You have expensive taste; you like things sturdy, fitted, and fashionable. 
“Do you think I should get someone to do my laundry?” he asks. 
“You can afford it. But maybe not. There’s nothing wrong with your own washing machine and a steamer.” You side eye him carefully. “Maybe I’m over the top.” 
“You’re high maintenance,” he agrees. “Is it expensive, getting your clothes dry cleaned all the time? I could pay for that.” 
“What? Why would you pay for it?” 
“‘Cos we’re together?” He’s more worried than dry about it. “I’d like to pay for your manicures and your hair, too, but I didn’t think you’d let me.”
“And I won’t… s’kind of nice you want to though. Really nice, um.” You’re blinking funny. “I think that’s more of a husband thing. You really want to pay for me to get manicures?” 
Spencer pays for lots of your stuff because he loves you. Good food mostly, but treats, clothes, anything he might think you’re interested in, actually. He likes to spoil you. You tend to spoil him back, if not with money then affection. “I like maintaining you.” 
You curl your arm through his. “That’s a funny way to say it.” 
He laughs at your obvious delight. “I like taking care of you,” he admits. “You like being high maintenance, it makes you happy, and I like making you happy.” 
“Thank you very much,” you say, softer now as your hand works up his neck and you turn his face to you, the sidewalk and the streetlines melting away under your warm touch. “You make me happier than you know.” 
His cheeks turn pink. He doesn’t need to see himself to confirm. It’s a high statistical probability. 
“Kiss?” you ask, voice still soft. 
Spencer walks you back nearer to the side of a building and out of the way, his hands at your neck and waist as he leans down just a touch to close your gap. He acts selfishly, perhaps, taking your hand from his face in order to hold yours in both of his without anything in the way of it. He kisses, he breathes you in, his head tilting more heavily to the side as the kiss lengthens, lingers. You’re like a flower in his hand, blooming slowly under the effects of a little heat. 
“What if you pay for my dry cleaning,” you begin, a smile evident in your voice though Spencer keeps his eyes closed. Tracing the hill of your cheek with his fingers just a moment longer. “And I pay for yours?” 
Spencer thumbs along your jaw. “I don’t want anything from you, just you.” 
“Well, what if I treat us to some Indian takeout tonight?” you ask. “Would you eat that? Or am I enough to sustain you, my love?” 
He could enjoy being taken care of in turn, he thinks. 
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comradekatara · 12 days
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hi, I'm back again with the jujinta parallels after finishing the legacy of yangchen (it's definitely my favourite of the avatar novels and is in my top ten books I think) and so sorry for how long this is (i have too many thoughts about them):
I think it's really interesting how yangchen and kavik are governed by three things 1)“some acts cannot be forgiven”; 2)“the one who could forgive me is not there anymore”; and 3) jujinta's old habit of begging forgiveness from the spirits each time he does wrong since he cannot ask forgiveness from his brother.
1) kavik never truly learns to forgive himself for any of his actions. he has blamed himself for kalyaan's suffering ever since they were kids and never considers that maybe kalyaan did these to himself and thus should be properly held accountable for his own actions. even after finally outsmarting his brother and hurting him in a way that FINALLY leaves a mark; kavik still wants to protect him (granted there is kavik has a nephew now. which).
but also right to the very end of the book, kavik never forgives himself for betraying yangchen, even though she tells him that she has forgiven him and thus he doesn't have to serve her in order to get in her good graces anymore.
as for yangchen, we see her give up more and more parts of herself by going against her own moral code for the sake of protecting the world. such as when she “made jailers out of her people” by holding the firebenders and henshe in the northern air temple. when yangchen does wrong, even if it's for a good cause, she welcomes punishment such as her calm acceptance of being exiled from the northern air temple and also her acceptance of the knowledge that her people would hardly accept her as theirs after her death with all the un-air nomad things she has done in the name of protecting the world.
2) and 3) pretty much go in tandem: in yangchen's case, she wants to be the avatar she believes jetsun wanted her to be: good, just, honest, inspiring, etc. especially because jetsun died to save yangchen and also because yangchen was powerless to stop the spirit attack. but the world doesn't afford her that luxury, so she has to make one morally questionable decision after the other and this kills her each and every time. however, she DOES get her forgiveness after finding jetsun in the spirit fog. the scene with yangchen and jetsun is so powerful because yangchen finally admits out loud how she doesn't want to be the avatar anymore as all this job has given was suffering and more suffering, but also she can't give it up, but she doesn't quite understand WHY she can't just give up. and jetsun replies with how taxing it was taking care of yangchen and how she pretty much gave up whole parts of herself to be yangchen's primary caretaker, but that she wouldn't change it because she loves yangchen. they are both in very emotionally draining and mentally taxing places in life, but also acknowledge that it's where they're meant to be. a very beautiful scene.
for kavik, he doesn't believe that he deserves yangchen's forgiveness at any point in the story and he accepts that she never will. so he gives himself up to yangchen's service, even when she urges him not to. his need to be forgiven by her even trumps his need to protect kalyaan in the end with the whole plot to get stabbed and “tortured” in front of kalyaan thus really taking advantage of kalyaan's weakness (which wasn't something kavik would have even thought to do a few chapters before). this shifts “the one who could forgive me” from kalyaan to yangchen. so like jujinta, who found new purpose/way to find forgiveness in serving yangchen while not entirely forgiving himself for his brother's death; kavik finds a new purpose in seeking unearned (in his opinion) forgiveness in yangchen's service, while also forgiving himself to admit that kalyaan earned his own punishment.
(sorry this was so long, I just have a lot of thoughts about the dawn of yangchen jujinta/kavik/yangchen parallels and how much being forgiven by someone whose forgiveness seems/is unattainable (including yourself) is such a big part of the characters' journey)
this is beautifully put! i really have nothing to add here, since you basically said it all. thank you :)
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steamberrystudio · 9 months
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16/07/2023 Devlog
Hallo! Time for a quick devlog here on tumblr.
Summary:
Music and SFX coded in
Flowcharts have been set up, coded, and a basic test run
The Ramble:
So in the past two weeks, as I said, I basically coded all the music and SFX for Yuu's route. Had to go grab a few new and very specific SFX for this route and was amused that I got to re-use that one slurp from Quill's route. LoL You know the one.
And I did the flowcharts.
The flowcharts are a bit of a process - I have to set up templates, then create the images, then code them (which is a process of coding the flowchart screen, declaring the variables, then going to put the variables all in the right places. 
Coding the flowchart screen involves getting the exact coordinates of every "module" in the flowchart, which is always a bit time consuming.
Anyway. It's all done now.
There are just under 1900 individual modules noted on the flowcharts across all routes. 👀
So yeah. Most of my time was spent setting those up! And now it's done.
Upcoming Weeks:
I know that for at least the next week I'll be working on coding sprite expressions. I'm actually not sure how long sprite expressions will take. There are between 6000 - 6500 expression changes per route and though I've already coded *some* of the expressions it's not really enough to be significant.
I may also do some sprite art (I have a couple of side character sprites to complete for this route)  this week as well. Coding sprite expressions is really tedious and I can't do it for 8 hours straight so usually while I'm doing expressions, I work on other things too to give myself a break.
What else I will work on may vary but expressions will be the next big undertaking.
And that is where we are with Yuu's route.
When Stars Collide:
I did say I would talk more about this game in a future update. We are in the future now so I guess I will discuss it.
So first off, I did decide I wanted to get the BGs re-done for this game. For...a variety of reasons. There's been a small hiccup in that process but I should still be getting replacements, slowly but surely.
I finished all of Daaz's route scenes and have started on Noel's scenes. I think I may revisit trying to write and complete each chapter for all characters going forward. There are some drawbacks to trying to complete entire character routes all the way to the game ending (which I did kind of expect so...)
Anyway, the game is just shy of 300,000 words at the moment.
And I'm not saying there's a new character named Kav who is one of the lab gremlins and who may or may not be the sort of character that makes you want to strangle him.
But honestly. All of that might be true.
It might be true that this character has been haunting me for a while and that even though I REALLY wanted to keep this game to 5 routes, I may need to expand it by one (1).
And that's it for both games. I will see you in a couple of weeks.
~Esh
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thebiggerbear · 5 months
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A Little Preview - TGACFY Chap 2 - Beau Arlen x Female Reader - 12/2/23
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A/N: Hey guys, I am so sorry it's taking me so long to get this chapter out to you. The date scene is what's holding me up; the rest of the chapter is written. There are things I need to set up in that scene that are in relation to the big case story line as well as for the reader's background while setting her and Beau up and other things to come in the story for them. (my poor beta, if you only knew how much I'm putting her through with this one chapter; the amount of back and forth we've had over these past few months alone lol) So I apologize; I just want to get it right. I promise it will be coming to you soon. Thank you for your continued patience.
In the meantime, I think it's only fair to you for me to post a little preview of the chapter. I took out any specific spoilers.
Tag list: @deans-spinster-witch; @superrey; @fromcaintodean; @stoneyggirl2; @lacilou; @zepskies; @perpetualabsurdity; @deansbbyx; @syrma-sensei
This is all unbeta'd right now so all mistakes are mine.
<-->
Once you stepped outside, you did a quick scan of the area and found the man you were looking for. He was in a different car this time, a rust-colored truck that had definitely seen better days.
He had just turned to look at the entrance when he spotted you, eyes widening slightly. He hurried to get out of his car and began to approach you. You decided to meet him halfway, thankful there wasn’t really anyone milling around at that moment.
Before he could get a word out, you noticed the new look right away. 
“You changed,” you accused.
“So did you,” he pointed out, his eyes roving over you. 
You nervously smoothed down the skirt of your dress with your fingers. “I wasn’t sure if there was a dress code where we were going. I should have asked. Is this okay?”
He nodded, a slow smile forming on his face. “More than okay. You look amazing,” he breathed.
You couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks, you look great, too.” You took him in and definitely liked what you saw. No hat, a button-down that hugged him in all the right places, jeans, short brown wavy hair that looked to be the right length for you to run your fingers through, a touched up beard from earlier, and a warm grin. “So you put the cowboy away.”
He chuckled and you could swear you could see a faint pink color dusting his cheeks, though it wasn’t easy to tell in this light. “A little bit.” He gestured towards his cowboy boots, making you let out a quiet laugh.
“I like it.” You gave him a kind smile; you truly did like what you saw. 
His smile grew and he held out an arm in invitation. “Shall we, little lady?”
“Oh no, you didn’t.”
Chuckling once more, he lowered his arm and moved closer. “Too much?”
“Way too much.”
This time, he held out his hand to you in offering, and tried again, giving you his most charming smile. “Ready, Beautiful?”
Choosing to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat, you placed your hand in his and gave him a nod of approval. “Better. Still needs work, but better.” You could feel the warmth of his skin seeping into yours and you almost wanted to intertwine your fingers with his to feel more of it, but that would be too forward of you and might make things awkward. You hadn’t even gone on the date yet. So instead, you smiled when you felt the strength of his grip and let him lead you wherever he intended to go.  
He started towards the truck. “Already, you are one tough woman to please. I hope this isn’t a sign of how the rest of our night will go,” he quipped.
“Depends on how hard you work to please me.” 
His eyes snapped to yours and seeing your teasing grin, he shook his head, looking away, clearly amused. “I really got myself into something here, didn't I?”
“You did,” you laughed.
“You know, they say you East Coast girls can be difficult to satisfy.” You noticed the twang purposely deepen as he teased you back.
Once you reached the car, he opened your door for you. “You know, they say you Texan cowboys never met a challenge you didn’t like.” You moved past him, not missing the smirk on his face and the shake of his head, and slipped into the passenger seat. He closed your door for you and you rearranged your dress by the time he joined you inside.
He turned a smile on you. “Ready?”
You returned it and gave him a nod after having buckled your seat belt. “Ready.”
You watched as his smile broadened and he started up the car, thinking this date was already going better than the other two you’d had since coming here.
<-->
A/N: What'd you guys think of their interaction? How do you think the date will go? What do you hope happens? Please let me know what you think. 😊
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boliv-jenta · 1 year
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Dieter Bravo
x f!reader
A little Wardrobe flashback.
Warnings: smut. P in V sex. Dirty talk. M!receiving oral. Sex toys. F!masturbation. Porn. Drug use. Vaginal fingering. Mentions of M/M. A little angst.
That's Tomorrow's Problem
WC:1.3k
"There you are!" Dieter pulled you into a narrow gap between two sets of monitors.
"Dieter! I'm busy." This thing between you was pretty new. Heat boiled to your cheek about anyone finding out. Partly in shame and partly with giddiness. Imagine people finding out that a gorgeous man like Dieter wanted you. He wanted you whenever he could get his hands on you. It was thrilling but shameful, right? You were still a married woman. His broad form crowding you in this small, public space shouldn't be this exciting.
Speaking of exciting, you happened to look down. "Dieter! My god.."
Dieter was certainly gifted below the belt and those sweatpants did show everything but he seemed big even for him.
"I mixed up my pills. I took a Viagra by mistake." With his hangdog expression making you feel sorry for him you managed to swallow your laughter.
"Well, you can't go walking around like that! We have strict heath and safety codes." Unable to keep it in any longer you added. "You could have someone's eye out."
"It's not funny."
"It is a little. We'll it's not little..."
"I thought being an asshole was my thing?"
"Hey!"
"Normally. I would laugh right along with you. But I have that scene in an hour."
"What? Oh. Oh!"
"Those things are already awkward to film. How am I going to explain having a ragging hard on before we even start?"
"We're all professionals, just explain you need some time."
"And cost the studio money. I'm trying to get a fresh start here."
"Okay so we have an hour."
"We?"
"Yeah. We."
Fifteen minutes later Dieter was still hard and your jaw ached from drawing one orgams from him. Tipping his case out onto his bed frantically searched for something.
"Dieter. Calm down."
"We have forty five minutes left and if that didn't do it...."
Opening his laptop he found the porn he had ready to go. A lesbian three way in an exotic poolside location. Pretty tame for his tastes, you though. He saw the look on your face. "I didn't want to play anything too dirty with you here."
"You've just spent ten minutes fucking my face."
"I was polite about it. I held your hair back. I even asked before I came."
"Then you told me to 'Fucking take it.' while you did."
"Should I have added 'please'?"
"My point is I think we're passed niceties. Tell me what you need."
"Can you sit on my cock and use these on me?"
Your eyes widen at the toys he recovered from his jumble of clothes. One was a vibrating wand. It was huge. You'd seen one in a store once. Just the sound of it terrified you. There was no way you could put that on your most sensitive area. The other was a curved vibrator. It was long and thin with a bulbous tip. That you could see yourself using. It wasn't too threatening.
As soon as you climbed on top of him Dieter started to thrust. "Do you want me to use these or not?" The toys fell from your shaking hands while Dieter drilled into you.
"Can't I have both? I really feel like I need both. I'm still hard as a rock."
"Fine. I always wanted to go on one of those mechanical bull things."
"Yeehaw."
Dieter fucked up into you harder as you managed to get the wand going. One touch of it to his balls had him coming. His fingertips dug into your thighs as he howled. You were very thankful that his trailer was so far away from everyone else. This was not something you wanted to be overheard. The slap of skin on skin, the rumble of the vibrator, the sound of your flooded pussy sucking him in with every thrust. Dieter was loud, even more so than usual. Even you were having a hard time keeping quiet as he thrust up into you like a man possessed.
"Oh, Dieter. Right there!" When you came you took him with you. One last blow of his load took the edge right off. He was soft enough to pull out of you and drop against his thigh.
"Thank fuck. That's a lot more manageable." He cupped his semi hard cock. "Right. I gotta shower. Twenty minutes to get ready." He ran off to the small bathroom next to his bedroom. For a moment you feel a little ashamed. Laying there being used by him. No, this is what this was. Just sex. No attachment.
Dieter was out the door ten minutes later. His porn was still on auto play. The deep grunts of two men fisting their cocks together filled the tiny space. Your day finished ten minutes ago. No one was expecting you anywhere. The long, thin, curved vibrator lay on the bed next to you. It didn't seem too aggressive not like the wand that looked like it could shake your soul out of your vagina. Finding Dieter's lube and cleansing wipes, Dieter always kept his toys clean but just in case, you prepared it. Changing Dieter's playlist, you found a woman using a similar toy. Laying down you relaxed, letting your knees fall apart and away from each other. Taking a deep breath you prepared yourself for the intrusion. The toy's head notched at you entrance, breathing and relaxing, you pressed it in further. A little maneuvering got it sat comfortably inside you. The speeds were on a dial at the bottom. It took a little wiggling but you managed to switch it on. The low setting wasn't too much. It didn't really do much for you either. The woman on the tiny screen seemed be enjoying it much more than you. Her toy was buzzing considerably louder than yours. Maybe the next setting? Sex toys came in all shapes, sizes and designs. A lot of thought obviously went into their design...so why in the ever loving hell did they have those stupid fiddly dials. A slip of your lube slicked fingers shifted the toy into it's highest setting. The vibration were strong, the sensations emanating from your core kept you pinned in place. It was so overwhelming all you could do was lay there with your head throw back and your jaw slack. Your body tensed and trembled. Your inner muscles started to bare down on the toy. Your body was balanced right on the edge ready to tumble down in to a blissful abyss, as it was you just hovered over it. The woman on the screen screamed like her life depended on it, enjoying her own orgasm. Lucky girl. This was the moment Dieter walked back in. A grin split his in two. It was like all his Christmases came at once. Reaching between your legs, he gripped the base of the toy. With a twist of his wrist he moved it in and out alternating the sensations inside of you. It was enough to push you over the edge.
"Oh. That's it." Dieter sounded proud as he rubbed your knee soothingly.
You let him lay next to you as you gathered yourself.
"Wait. Why are you back? What about your big sex scene?"
"That? I screwed the days up. That's tomorrow."
"Dieter!"
"What? I made a mistake! I'd much rather talk about your big sex scene."
"Dieter!"
"That was so hot. You should hang out in my trailer more."
"Dieter!"
"I notice you didn't say no." Slipping the toy out he replaced it with his fingers as kissed your neck.
In your post orgasm bliss it hard to resist his charms, hard to remember that you should be putting walls up between you and another man who could break your heart. Just for a moment you let yourself sink into his arms. Your fingers played with his soft curls as you even more bliss ebbed out from his fingers. Yeah, this man could be a problem but one you didn't have to solve right now.
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spooky-switch · 6 months
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Spooky's FNAF Movie Review (Spoilers Below The Cut)
Final Rating:
★★★★☆
General Information:
↬ I have only played the first two games, and that was years ago, but I am fairly familiar with the lore thanks to theory videos and infodumps from my little brother. I think it is safe to say that even if you have not played the games, you can still follow alone with this film and enjoy it. ↬ Takes elements from multiple games and incorporates them all into a new (but familiar) storyline Long term fans will be pleased by the references but might have a hard time with changes made to the lore. ↬ Matthew Lillard and Josh Hutcherson stole the show, of course. They both have some serious acting chops and performed their parts well, though this is not to say that the rest of the cast did a poor job. Most of the cast members did a pretty decent job, though a few minor characters broke the tension at times with comedic overacting (this was probably intentional, though, as this is a PG-13 film). ↬ The puppeteering and suits by the Jim Henson company were absolutely amazing! While I had my doubts after watching the trailer, in the final film they looked far less like CGI and more like actual physical objects, in part due to how they interacted with the actors and the environments. ↬ There were a couple of plot holes at the end of the film that had me scratching my head, but this is 'Five Nights At Freddy's,' so I tried not to nitpick it too much. Looking at the series as a whole, I would say this is the most cohesive story we have been given, so plot holes can be forgiven in my opinion.
Sensory Information:
↬ This movie contains plenty of jump scares (which is normal and expected for the franchise), so expect lots of loud, sudden noises. I watched it in theaters with my little brother, and even though we took care to pick seats away from any speakers, it was still so loud at points that we needed to cover our ears. If you are especially sensitive to sound like I am, I would recommend either bringing hearing protection or watching the film at home (it should be available for streaming on Peacock). ↬ This film also contains tones of bright, flashing lights. These are littered throughout the film and go on for long durations of time. I was not bothered by them but those with high sensitivity to bright lights (and those prone to seizures) might want to be wary of this film.
Spoilers:
↬ Can we all agree that Abby is autistic coded? To me, the whole relationship between her and Michael is a big brother learning to connect with his neurodivergent little sister while cope with some pretty severe trauma (the loss of their parents and brother). ↬ I am sad to say that, no, Markiplier is not in the film. However, I can happily say that MATPAT IS, even if just briefly! ↬ Of all the jump scares, the stupid Balloon Boy one was the only one that really got me (even after the third time they did it). ↬ The tickle scene was not as bad as I thought it would be, in part because I had fair warning of what it entailed and where it would be in the film (thanks for the heads up, @unbeleevable, I owe you one). It was arguably less cringy than the 'Barbie' tickle scene, which is all I could really ask for (besides Michael getting pulled into the tickle fight, which I knew was not going to happen). ↬ Honestly? Vanessa was really getting on my nerves. If she had just TOLD Michael what was going on, it would have saved them both a lot of trouble. I mean, if she really cared about Abby being safe, why not explain everything to Michael so he would be more motivated to keep his sister away from the pizzeria? ↬ OH, and when Vanessa just TOSSED Michael's medication into the water?! Like, girl, do you know how much that stuff costs, especially in this economy (we all know Michael was probably having to pay out of pocket for it, too, since there is no way that man had health insurance)? ↬ Oh my god, when the Springtrap suit was finally revealed, I was so excited! It looked amazing, standing out as one of the best practical effects of the film, especially when combined with how it moved and Lillard's vocal performance. ↬ So, did anyone ever find the body of the aunt? Last time we see her, she is laying dead on Michael's living room floor. Did he call the police? If so, how did he explain her death? If not, WHERE DID HE PUT THE BODY?! ↬ When they played the Living Tombstone song at the end, it took everything in me not to start jamming out to it, especially seeing how happy my little brother was. We sat through the credits just to hear the whole thing.
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valleyrunearchives · 1 year
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Binary
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Fandom: Boku No Hero Academia/My Hero Academia Pairings: Aizawa Shouta/Yamada Hizashi Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence
Chapter 17/?
“Binary code is a series of zeroes and ones strung together in a specific sequence. On paper, it’s useless. Annoying. Worthless. But put that same string of zeroes and ones into a computer, and suddenly it’s a language far more complex than the human mind can comprehend. I was the same way. The world decided I wasn’t good enough in the physical plane, so I went digital. That’s why I chose the name Binary. And you should be very,” He smirks at the underground hero on the screen, “Very afraid of the reach I have here. Aizawa Shouta.”
Or
Midoriya Izuku is tired of the world treating him like nothing. So he decides to becoming a hacker to show the world that nothing can be anything.
Featuring Midoriya Izuku as the Genius Hacker Aizawa Shouta as the problem child wrangler Yamada Hizashi as the moral support to his husband Tsukauchi Naomasa as the man who needs a long vacation PLEASE Shinsou Hitoshi as the intentionally adopted one Toga Himiko as the unintentionally adopted one Dabi as the really didn’t want to be adopted one but he guesses this is his life now and Nedzu as the Rat God of UA
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Click here to Read on AO3!
Shouta hears the murmurs around him of his fellow teachers. Now that he’s thinking about it, they’ve been mumbling amongst themselves for the last while. Shouta just hadn’t fully noticed beyond an initial thought of it since he’s busy working on both his cases as well as starting to get things ready for the next school year. Sure it’s still several months away but it never hurts to prepare early. He’d mostly been wondering how many of his new students that he’ll have to expel this year. He’s guesstimating at least four, if not six. Regardless, now he can’t focus on anything else because of all the low chattering around him. He gives a brief glance around the room before his eyes settle on Hizashi. His husband catches his eye and shrugs, not knowing what was going on.
“Alright,” he says tiredly, “Spit it out. What is so important that you guys won’t shut up for five minutes? Some of us have things to do, you know.”
“Well, it’s just…” Nemuri starts, uncharacteristically hesitant, “Nedzu normally gives the updates and any new expectations for next year’s classes by now but he hasn’t said anything. Not to mention, he said months ago that we’d be getting a new staff member for the coming year but he hasn’t said anything else about who it is.” 
“It’s like he’s… behind. And we know he only gets that way when he’s distracted,” Kan picks up, “You’re kind of the closest teacher to him, for whatever odd reason. Do you know what he’s working on so intensely?”
Shouta’s brows furrow. That is odd. “Has anyone heard him mention anything? Even just an off-handed comment about anything?” he asks them.
“I heard him say something about more cameras in the testing zones while I was dropping off some paperwork,” Thirteen says.
More cameras? Why would he need more-? It clicks for him just as it clicks for Hizashi too. “Binary,” They both say at the same time. 
“Binary?” The rest of the teachers ask, confused.
“There’s a new hacker on scene. Their hacking name is Binary,” Shouta reaches out and takes a sip of his coffee. He grimaces a bit. It’s cold. He’ll need to get a refresh in a minute.
“Oh! The hacker! I’ve talked to them! Or… they’ve talked to me, rather,” Nemuri says.
… What? He turns sharp eyes over to her. Hizashi beats him to it when he blurts out, “When?!”   
“Uh… about a week ago I guess? They helped me out with a case! They’re amazing at what they do!” Everyone turns wide-eyed to her as she shrugs, “What?”
“Why didn’t you think to tell anyone about this?!” Hizashi yells with flailing arms.
“Volume, Yamada,” He warns him before addressing Nemuri, “Why didn’t you though?”
“I don’t know. I kind of felt like if I told someone they would try and stop them. And they’re really good. They’re really trying their best to help people!” 
Shouta resists the urge to facepalm at that. Snipe slowly raises his hand behind Nemuri, “I have also had contact with Binary.” 
“What…” Hizashi blinks at him in astonishment now. 
The gunslinger hero shrugs, “My reasoning is kind of the same. They helped, they didn’t do anything to impede me, I didn’t see a point in sayin’ anything if ya’ll were just gonna try and stop them.”
“Well that ship has long sailed…” Hizashi says.
“What?” They both ask him.
Shouta sighs. Couldn’t Hizashi have had just a bit more tact about this? He does still explain to them, “I’ve been investigating Binary at the request of Tsukauchi for months now. I’m still no closer to figuring out their identity. Yamada and I both have had interactions with Binary where they worked with us as something of a dispatcher. I can admit, they’re good at it too.” 
“Okay, so what does this have to do with Nedzu, anyway?” Nemuri asks with eyes squinted in suspicion. 
“Binary somehow managed to hack into our networks and get the specifics of UA’s entrance exam.”
All the voices of the teachers ring out in complete shock. He knows what they’re thinking. It was unheard of. Some of the top hackers in and out of the country haven’t even come close to figuring out the UA entrance exam specifics. They never get past the initial security Nedzu has in place. How could this newbie get past it all in one try? Shouta stands up and moves to the coffee pot to finally refresh his coffee as he continues, “Nedzu, in typical Nedzu fashion, is hyperfixated on it. He’s absolutely certain that either someone who knows Binary or Binary themself will be a part of the entrance exam this year. Why else would they need to hack the specifics?” 
“That’s why he needs more cameras in the testing areas,” Thirteen points out, “He’s hoping to catch whoever it is.” 
“Precisely,” Shouta agrees, then takes a sip of the now hot and fresh coffee. Oh, that’s nice.
“Why didn’t you tell us about Binary, Shouta?” Nemuri asks him.
He sets his coffee down at his desk as he retakes his seat, “Tsukauchi and I were hoping to keep Binary on the DL. Based on what we’ve figured out about them, we have suspicions that they’re possibly traumatized due to past bullying and mistreatment by those around them. This was taken by the fact that they indirectly told me the worthlessness of their quirk.”
Hizashi clears his throat with a pointed look. He rolls his eyes but dutifully adds, “Or lack of one. Since he seemed to keep contact with only me, Tsukauchi, and Yamada - and even then only because Binary hacked deep enough to find the connection between the two of us - we hoped we could find them and convince them to peacefully give up hacking. That we could possibly reduce any kind of charges against them if so.”
“Are there charges against them?” Nemuri asks suspiciously.
“So far, no. None that we can really pin and keep since all they seem to be doing is acting as a concerned citizen by reporting high risk crimes to the proper authorities. But some people will be rallying for them if we do catch them. Especially now that we know that he’s contacting heroes outside of the three of us.” 
“We won’t tell, Shouta, you know we won’t,” Nemuri reassures him with pleading eyes. He knows what she wants but he can’t guarantee that he’ll be able to give it to her. He shakes his head negatively, “That’s not the issue. I know you and snipe won’t say anything. But not every hero is going to have nice things to say about Binary or be willing to keep their hacking a secret.” 
“So what do we do?” Snipe asks him.
“For now, nothing. Let me or Yamada know immediately if any others of you have contact with them. Also, try and keep a closer eye on the testing areas as well. Maybe we can beat Nedzu to Binary or their associate if we all work together to try and spot them. I’m going to contact Tsukauchi at the end of the school day today to let him know what’s going on and that you’re now all a part of the Binary case, if for no other reason than to try and keep them out of Nedzu’s claws.”
All the other teachers agreed with him immediately. Shouta sighs and picks up his coffee mug again. This is going to be a long day. And an even longer conversation with Tsukauchi.
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unfriendlyamazon · 1 year
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1, 3, 13, and 21 for the fanfic asks !! 💕
this will be fun because i don't think i posted much this year but i do a lot of writing you don't see
1.favorite fic
reread a bunch of my joukai week from last year and final countdown is something i had in my head for a long, long time originally it was supposed to be the end of a longer form fic that i trashed and i'm very happy i managed to get the momentum i needed for that finale
3.favorite line/scene
this one was way too hard i had to scroll through all the things i've written, wips, and things i've never posted but i forgot my favorite thing in the world is to write pegasus so here's a bit from the secret archives
Duke had met Samantha R. Pegasus only in the safety of the huge estate just outside the city, where it seemed she had a whole wing to herself. Sometimes, at parties, she’d jump around and bark happily at the guests until a butler picked her up and quietly put her in another room. Duke tended to avoid dogs. They weren’t afraid of them, per se, but they weren’t going out of their way to make friends.
“I blocked off the afternoon to finish the coding on the Millennium project,” they said. “The deadline’s coming up–”
Pegasus held up a hand. “Don’t worry your pretty head, dear Duke. Samantha here is a remarkable companion during crunch time. You’ll barely even notice her.”
Duke sucked in a breath. There was never any arguing with Pegasus. Once he told you to do something, that was it.
“I guess,” they said, “if it’s just for the afternoon.”
“Marvelous!” He kissed his dog again and set her on the pillow. He slung a pink tote from around his shoulder and held it out to Duke, who took it reluctantly. “There’s her midday snack in there, along with her spring water–she just won’t drink from the tap–and her harness and leash for when she needs to take her afternoon walk. She usually goes around 3. Just around the block should be fine.”
“Walk?” Duke opened the bag and stared in horror. “But–”
“Her little baggies and booties are in there as well. She’ll be a dream, Duke. You’ll see.”
Their mouth dropped open, but they couldn’t come up with an appropriate protest. Pegasus laid a hand on their shoulder, and they stared up at him.
“She’s more precious to me than anything,” he said. “Except perhaps this company, or my home, or my oodles of money. But still very high on the list. There’s no one else I’d entrust her too.”
Duke swallowed. “Of course, sir.”
“Good.” He flipped his hair back and blew one more kiss to Samantha. “Be good, darling. I’ll be back in no time. Toodles!”
Duke waved a hand at his back and offered a weak, “Toodles.”
13.favorite writing song/album
i don't really have a go to album for writing i tend to make playlists that fit the mood/tone/vibe though i do think this year i relied on the crypt of the necrodancer soundtrack to drown out distractions
21.most memorable comment/review
this one is not actually yugioh related i also have a sims tumblr and mostly for myself i started a series where several premade sims go to magic high school together. i wrote a sort of episode one for it and was surprised by an incredibly sweet comment that highlighted one of my favorite things to write, which is a dynamic. i expected minimal response and to get such an excited comment for something so silly made me really happy.
and all of this has reminded me how ugly my blog is lol so new year new me i suppose. thank you for the ask!!!
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come-see-our-show · 2 years
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How Tony being a girl affects WSS: My Queer Manifesto
When someone first mentioned this concept to me, I wasn't sure if a female Tony would work for two reasons:
We already have Anybodys as a girl who breaks gender stereotypes, which the Jets don't approve of. (I know he's a trans man in the new film but in the original film and stage he’s a woman. Still very trans-coded though!)
Would it take away from the message of the story? Does making Tony and Maria a gay couple take away their importance as an interracial couple?
In the Broadway version... not really. The 2021 film goes really in-depth about white supremacy, gentrification, and immigration. Race and identity is a key part of the new story, and it wouldn’t stand without it. Making Tony a girl in that version wouldn't work because that’s not what it’s about.
The original show doesn't go in depth, which is one of its deepest flaws. Yes, the show talks about racism, but it only used it as a placeholder for a conflict, and many Latine and Hispanic people were immigrating to the US and living in New York. West Side Story was initially called East Side Story, about a Catholic boy and a Jewish girl, but the idea was scrapped because at that time a play came out with that same plotl. West Side Story wasn't using racism to talk about racism; it was using it because they needed a modern issue involving opposing sides and violence.
WSS is very flawed. It wasn't really made for Latine people, it was made for a general audience. People who wanted to see a show about star-crossed lovers.
Well... that applies to queer people too.
Here is how I picture the story with Antonia “Tony” Wyzek:
She's still one of the boys. Riff calls her "buddy boy" and they can goof around. Tony fits in with the Jets, whereas Anybodys is an outcast. This is because girls who are "one of the guys" usually fit in because they're what men want in a woman. She likes the things you do, but she's still hot in an effortless way!  Many girls who are considered “one of the guys” have a lot of internalized misogyny because they’re appearing a certain way not for themselves, but for other people. (By the way, girls should be able to present masc, femme, or any in-between without outside judgement!)
Tony will start off being feminine, but not too feminine, because even though she left the Jets, she still cares about them and wants to present in a way that pleases other people.
At the beginning of the show, when she’s working at Doc’s, she could wear something like this:
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It’s definitely feminine (the 50s were all about hourglass waists and pointy boobs?) but it’s functional. It would show that Tony feels more comfortable when not wearing skirts. A tiny peak at her self-expression without it being obvious.
The dance at the gym / Maria’s fire escape / Doc’s:
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Tony doesn’t have much money, so she isn’t gonna be wearing something too glamorous. It’s girly but nondescript. The silhouette isn’t exaggerated, no frills and poofs. It’s sort of the bare minimum, how little effort she can put in while still being accepted.
This gym scene is also the first time we see Tony and Anybodys, which will show their dynamic as two queer people (because let’s face it, musical!Anybodys was super queer-coded). Tony and Anybodys have a bond because in some ways they want to be each other. Anybodys, who is authentically themself, wants to be part of a group. Tony, who has just left her group, still hasn’t found herself and is trying to find who that is. They both want what the other person has. Also, I feel like Anybodys is mostly useless in the original show, so this can give them some purpose.
At Doc’s Tony says the rumble should be a “fair fight” with only fists, which the Jets and Sharks agree on, but both go against that in the end when they bring knives to the rumble. Tony posesses stereotypically feminine qualities, such as kindness, gentleness, sincerity, and romanticism. She doesn’t belong in a gang. Having Tony be the only person wearing a dress in the scene physically shows the difference between her and her old friends.
ok but like what about maria?
While I’m specifically making Tony a lesbian, Maria’s sexuality can be less specific; she can be any time of wlw, however the hypothetical actress chooses to. In my vision, I see her as a lesbian because it would explain more why she doesn’t love Chino. Maria’s literally engaged to the guy and we barely see how she feels about it besides ambivalence and mild annoyance (which of course turns to hatred by the end). Since we’re changing the script as little as possible, it needs to be more obvious why she doesn’t love him. If Maria is played as a lesbian, you can play up the reluctance to be with him without changing the words.
The bridal shop / the rumble / Maria’s room / outside:
I think the song that would change the most is A Boy Like That/I Have a Love. Honestly, I would just swap every "boy" to "girl" and the pronouns too. Anita's problem with Tony is that she killed Bernardo; that she was apart of the white supremacist gang who hate her community. That problem in itself is related to racism and xenophobia, so Tony's gender wouldn't play a factor. I don't think Anita would care which gender Maria was attracted to, as long as they're Hispanic/Latine.
I Feel Pretty would change slightly too. Maria can’t mention Tony’s gender at all because the other girls think she’s talking about Chino. “Feel like running and dancing for joy/For I'm loved/By a pretty wonderful boy!” Can be changed to “Feel like finally taking control/For I'm loved/By a pretty wonderful soul!” Still rhymes and also changes her character a bit! You go Maria, take control! Go after what you want!
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Back in the pants! Tony, now that she’s met Maria, she is awakened. She’s happier, more confident, etc etc. So she’s wearing something she feels confident in. There’s the feminine cut, but less pronounced compared to the first outfit. Not as masculine as Anybodys, but still more androgynous. This is the scene where she and Maria get to be silly and have a fake wedding, which gets serious when they kneel and vow their love for each other. This is the scene that captures their dynamic; fun, naiive, young love, but still real. It’s showcasing both of them as characters, so this outfit has to showcase who Tony truly is.
As for the rumble, that scene is also indicative if who Tony is. Someone who believes in love and wants to make peace, but will also fight for the people she loves (even if it means killing your girlfriend’s brother in a fit of rage).
The “Somewhere” sequence, in this version, would be interesting with Tony and Maria as lesbians because Somewhere is such a universal song. The lyrics are simple, but many people can relate to it; queer couples, interracial couples, interfaith couples. It doesn’t even have to be a couple. “A place for us” can be for a community. My life is nothing like Tony and Maria’s, but that song rings so true to me. During the ballet sequence, if there were different couples all dancing, it would physically show the universality of it.
When Tony is running through the streets, looking for Chino to kill her, Anybodys tries to help her, but she tells him to go away because she’s a girl (I can’t remember the exact line). This line can still stay. After falling in love with Maria, Tony naively believed that things will work out for them because she's an idealist. But it doesn't work out. When she's telling Anybodys, "You're a girl!" She's saying, "Girls like us can't get what we want. We don’t belong. It didn't work out for me and it won't work out for you."
ok that's all xo :)
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manonamora-if · 1 year
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Current Progress: - English final word count: 31.115 (story) 1.055 (codex/intro) - French: 22.318 - Recode: 20%?
The translation is still taking a while but we are getting there (thank you NaNoWriMo for shaming me into writing). I am at the end of the second third of the story (before you arrive at the Sparks). I have a few short passages to deal with before this part is over.
Looking at the old word count (for both languages), it doesn't feel like a lot of words were added, but there was a lot more repetition in text (between variation) than I remember.
I'm kinda glad that I had a translated version already that I could go back and check for tone/phrasing. But at the same time, I realised how badly that one was done too, lol... This new translation should not only be better written, but less anglicised (save for Kelsie's family's names).
Also still coding as I go. There are a lot more words/passages to go through, but it's going :P
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I have not worked on anything else but MtP this week, though I tried. I think I've hit some writer's block with my other projects a bit. I've been feeling a bit guilty since I had planned a few more updates for the past, this and next month that won't really happen yet (hello EC and CRWL... sorry). But at the same time, I've been pretty much writing with little to no break since April-May? And if I wasn't writing, I coded/designed stuff... So I made a Canva graphic about all releases/work done throughout this year... and damn, I released a lot more than I give myself credit for.
So yeah, break weekend :) (my mom's in town for a lil visit)
Anyways... Some other noteworthy posts:
I've answered the how to make your own IF question, hopefully having included good stuff for peeps.
There is a Sci-fi Twine Jam happening this month on itch. Consider joining, even if you make something very basic :)
The @twinegardening posted my passage map of The Thick Table Tavern, if you were interested in a Behind-the-scene crumb.
I made a bigass MasterList for Twine Resource with a bunch of links for documentation, tutorials, assets and more (all formats). If I've missed something, let me know so I can add it.
I'm going to plug this in again (I don't care about spamming at this point):
The IF Comp deadline to cast your votes is 15th of November, and you need to cast at least 5 votes.
The EctoComp is the 13th of November for the French and the Spanish versions, 20th of November for the English one.
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the-firebird69 · 4 months
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These people are giving us the right signals as to what they're up to and they're sending it out out loud and we are receiving them loud and clear and we're going to use them against them we do appreciate it his idea to use his passcode as code to indicate what you're up to is working he has several ways that he wants it to work and it's working in a few ways and his way and you guys are messing with it right now and it is exposing you and you don't care and be careless and we're going to make you pay if you're interfering with his computer we get to interfere with yours we're trying to take his body we're going to take yours we do it all day long and all night and Trump says as Billy Hicks to no avail and I guess he's right he's scraping around for stuff already and he's become a huge nuisance to everyone for a good year solid and isn't stealing all your stuff and losing it quite rapidly so he's the authority now this living complete TBI victim worm is the authority on what you should do to stay out of trouble with people who can kick your ass and his ass is grass apparently the Terminator movie began and he didn't tell anybody tonight is a night scene we are the two drop into town and there's a movie that happens before it with similar characters and it goes on for a while until night time and you might note Tommy F looks like Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger dies over and over and he's a tough guy and this guy davido is asking for it and he is going to pay that's what they say we know that he pays it starts getting very aggressive with a lot of people and we mean Tommy f Schwarzenegger's not huge but he's big enough because that boy a lot of problems and he is starting to move now and going after him and the other s*** head and he's getting beat up yeah he's going after Trump too and his idiots and they don't really stand a chance but they need to stop what they're doing they say and what they're doing is kind of defeating themselves please do not want them doing what they're doing here they don't seem to be able to stop and we are going to crush them and it's tiring it's over it's been years of this ballache stuff and you're going to die because of a car that you took away from him and because you're cheap and you had tons of money and I don't care about money cuz you're stupid because your brains got blown out John remillard is such a genius everybody on Earth hates you and you're sticking your stupid face in front of everyone running around me being a dick with bread what a f****** useless pile of s*** you people are. And really you are so dumb should never gotten involved I'm sure my plan is thanking you though oh you clean you don't know anything poor little girl you have more miserable than she'll ever be and that was Brad and he said this you better stop and said why you're a f****** moron listen you're right about something we don't know what he's talking about that's right it's right over there Grandma's right there she's going to leave these people are going to leave and why the hell would JC and Mary's still be there and their ships out oh yeah the ship might be there
How's our son telling Brad to f*** off and they listen to it and he said you're probably right then he said I'm freaking out I can't stand this s*** anymore
It's grabbing us and putting New brains in and it's gross they said you guys weren't going to do anything against the empire I woke up and found out they want to use me up and kill me and I found out they're playing and I'm using it against them so he started smiling and saying this is f****** horrible and I'm kicking their ass now and only took 50 years which round says he's a genius and it says these people are more sick than they're controlling now and they're not in the businesses we could all be screwed he's doing what he can and it's like a lot of his thought it would be horrible but he's going to do something and man is it horrible the devil's real Satan is above the house I mean this is some really effed up stuff and so you start seeing it the clan is taking advantage of us and he had him do it because he needed to stop his max and we do understand something we got him to school getting them pay we're going to start to suck wind that's what it is
Thor Freya
Olympus
Zues Hera
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oliverpdaniel · 1 year
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Advent of Code 2022: Days 1-5
Welcome back, party people, to Days 19-25 of the 2021 Advent of Code! Hmm, wait, no... Those are just items that have been sitting and going stale in my to-do list since last year, since I still can't figure out how to visualize rotating beacons or prioritize movements in a hallway. Grr. I've been doing lots of AoC problems in anticipation to keep my skills sharp, so hopefully I'll be approaching the 400-star club sooner rather than later™.
In seriousness, I could not be more amped to get this year's batch of puzzles underway. I am joined on my leaderboard this year not only by my roommate of yore, but a new friend, whom I've taken under my wing to help introduce them to the god-awful world of software development. I'm wishing her all the best in this year's challenge, and I can't wait for your Icarian hubris to melt like waxen wings after Day 10 or so.
These first few days proved more than trivial to solve. I have a new-and-improved workflow with VSCode, which means that I should be able to write about each solution immediately after getting that all-important gold star. Let's get right into it!
Day 1
Don't talk to me unless you're top 1000 on at least one day of AoC. I'd probably be even higher-ranked than #511 if I hadn't made a dumb slicing mistake. Looking forward to another exciting year of challenges, this time with friends!
Day 2
Well, that was absolutely embarrassing. I think this officially marks the end of my staying up to work on puzzles: as satisfying as it was getting another top-1000 finish for the first part (which should have been even faster, tbh), it took me entirely too long to finish the second part, because I kept rushing to submit rather than taking the two seconds to think things through. As I tried to solve while also preparing a pot of pasta and maintaining a phone conversation, I am somewhat reminded of this classic scene, although I really shouldn't be. Anyhow, morning solves it is from now on, even if I'm up at midnight.
UPDATE: While groggily making coffee in the morning, my roommate pointed out that, ALL THESE YEARS, I never realized that modulo worked with negative arguments as well, completing the symmetry of the circular list. ARRRRRRGH. Well, glad to know AoC has already proven educational.
Day 3
Despite telling myself that I was going to start going to bed before midnight and thus doing challenges in the morning, I did find myself awake at 12:10, though I hadn't even noticed the date change. Oh well, works for me. This challenge went much more according to plan: I quickly recognized what needed to be done, and my solution for both days worked first-try. Looks like sets and modular indices will be flavours of the month. (Hopefully not too many cellular automata or convolutions...)
Day 4
I was just barely awake at midnight, but I opened the puzzle and decided to go to bed anyway, which I think was very brave of me. The solution to part 1, which I more or less dreamed up, worked as expected: Python's chained comparator operations (a <= c <= d <= a) really are quite delightful. However, I had a little more trouble than expected figuring for any sort of overlap, so rather than have another day 2 situation, I took advantage of the megabytes of memory God gave me by porting both ranges to sets and checking for nonempty intersections. Once I had the right answer, I decided to amend my solution to include the "correct" way of doing it: there are planar intersection problems every year.
Day 5
Stacks! Honestly, the toughest conceptual part of this puzzle was parsing all the input. I wrote a bash command to create all the template files I need for the day -- test input, puzzle input, and solution script -- the latter of which includes a line to read in one of those files, break it into lines, and strip off trailing whitespace. That last step proved to be problematic today, as if a particular line of input, say, didn't contain any boxes in the first few columns, then I wouldn't have any way of knowing. Luckily, all the ~~procrastination~~ practice I did with previous years' puzzles mean that my cursed cursor-fu is top-tier, and I was able to bash out a line (first-try!) that automatically broke down each line into the correct tokens. Also different from most puzzle inputs, the file was broken down into three sections -- the stacks themselves, column names, and instructions. You could argue the second section isn't inherently useful (especially since I don't program in a language with static array lengths), but I did end up employing it just to make my life a little easier.
This puzzle is also the first time in a while I've meaningfully used a del statement in Python, since I was a newbie way back when. In this case, I used it in Part 2 to quickly lop off the last n values when I remove them from one stack and extend them onto another. I considered doing something similar for Part 1 in hopes of a minor speed-boost, but everything ran in, like, a millisecond anyway, so I didn't see much point.
One more thing...
As crypto culture (finally) crashes and burns around us, a new and ugly era rears its head: idiots thinking that "prompting" (i.e., writing inputs specific enough for GPT3 or similar to produce desired outcomes) is the future of programming/art/whatever, and is just as meaningful of a skill. Yes, sweetie, it's very impressive that a gigantic AI system was able to solve your AoC puzzle in 10 seconds after having consumed terabytes worth of other people's code, and yes, you pushed the button to make it go! And now your name is permanently on top of the leaderboard, because you think that you deserve all the credit for those solutions! Your family must be so proud of their little genius.
Yes, things like the AoC leaderboard aren't important in the grand scheme of things, and yes, it ultimately doesn't matter if it gets polluted with GPT solvers, because the rest of us still had fun and learned things working on the puzzles ourselves. But, if you truly believe that the ends justify the means (i.e., second-hand plagiarism on a supermassive scale), and the rest of us should just have to deal with the fact that you don't understand the concept of fair competition and should -- I don't know -- have to start a separate leaderboard with a human-verification system... you're not the future, you're the obstacle the rest of us have to get around to continue being a humanocentric society. I have no doubt that conversational AI systems like GPT are going to be here to stay, and the rest of the tech world is going to have to enter crunchtime to more effectively protect things like people's art from getting hoovered up by completely unattended systems. But hey, as long as you make a buck, I'm the idiot for not doing it first, right?
Anyway, all this to say, if you think it's cool that GPT-3 can solve programming puzzles just by reading a prompt, fantastic. I think it's awesome, and the possibilities are very exciting! Just wait fifteen goddamn minutes before submitting your solution. It's not cute, and as much as there aren't any rules to AoC, it's very clearly being done for the purpose of getting your username at the top of the leaderboard, not for 'raising awareness' or showcasing the power of AI everyone already knows is ridiculously powerful. It's for you and your ego.
Rant over; let's save Christmas.
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anathemafiction · 3 years
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Alright, just finished writing 2.5k more extra words to add to the game. It should be the final additions, the final scenes I tweak and expand. Playtesting has been surprisingly fun. It's curious, people have often asked me who my favorite character is, and I've never been able to seriously answer it - I've said Billy as a way to deflect the question. It's a transparent joke, for as much as I actually love the old, stubborn horse, he's not, of course, the character I'm most fond of.
But as I'm forced to play my game, again and again, I think my favorite character is clear. And it can be none other than the MC. When I say I can't wait to share this beginning of their journey with you, I really mean it. And I mean it, even more, when I say I can't wait to keep writing the rest, to keep setting the stones that make the road which the MC's feet will inevitably have to roam. Until the very end, I'll stay with them until the very end - no matter what type of ending you end up shaping for them.
So, yeah. The protagonist is the one I'm most fond of, right now. You, the player. I suppose it makes sense that I've built a universe around them.
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erodasfishtacos · 3 years
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Crackin’ the Code
prompt: Harry and YN tie the knot in a beautiful castle off the coat of Italy. Harry reflects back on his life before his love. YN has past insecurities creep on on her before the wedding. 
note: this is the necklace that YN receives as (one) her wedding gifts from H and she wears it during the ceremony.
word count: 9k
warnings: smut
***<-- click for visuals throughout (super important for this one shot!)
if you enjoy this fic (which i worked REALLY hard on) please reblog, like, comment, and come talk to me!
please please considering donating to my kofi since all my work is FREE to you guys!
---
The world expected an extravagant wedding with week-long festivities, celebrations in destinations only the richest could afford, and all the big names of the business world who ran in his circle.
The media outlets were just waiting, quite impatiently, for the day that the richest man in Europe settled down with a significant other. They would have news stories for decades when it came to the couple.
Of course, Harry Styles was going to marry a household name - the public thought. 
Whether it be an heiress, a model, maybe even an actress? The choices for the most eligible bachelor were limitless.
Any time he was at an event, usually a charity gala or black-tie dinner, paparazzi would take candid pictures of him with any female and then the following day publish an article about how they were a couple.
However, what the world didn’t know was that he’s been in a relationship for a year and a half, has already been engaged after the eight month mark, and moved into pretty soon after but that was hushed.
Nearly no one except a few key employees and family members knew about the couple. Everyone in his office building in the heart of London had to sign NDA’s at the beginning of their job - though almost all of them didn’t know she existed.
Harry did not put any limits on YN for the wedding planning. 
No price, no expectations, nothing. If she wanted ten-thousand people or zero people in attendance that was her call. If she wanted to drop ten million dollars on a wedding or a hundred that was fine too.
The CEO never fantasized about a wedding. 
Well he had but no in the terms most do. He didn’t sit and imagine the venue, the food menu, or the decorations. 
No, he didn’t care about any of that, he daydreamed about the fact that he and someone would commit themselves to each other for the rest of their lives.
Harry wanted to marry his fiance after their first date.
He was usually a very patient man, couldn’t have gotten where he was if he wasn’t. When it came to this, each day he wasn’t married to the love of his life felt like torture.
Since he proposed to her in his briefs in their bedroom, he had imagined her looking immaculate in whatever she chose to wear, exchanging vows of devotion, and then being tied together for life.
He never thought he would get here. He’d never felt a connection with someone like he had with the feisty waitress who bumped into him. Begin to believe that he was broken or lacking emotion because no matter how sweet the girl was he couldn’t see himself with the person.
Don’t get him wrong. 
He took many women out on dates that were downright awful. Asking him about money, suggesting he take them on expensive vacations or buy them a designer item, being too forward and palming his crotch in the middle of dinner.
One of the last dates he went on before he gave up was the one that made him stop looking all together, about six months before he ran in YN.
---
It was an expensive restaurant in the heart of London. It had a waitlist for months but one call and they could magically make an available booth for the billionaire within the hour. 
The girl he was sitting across from was a so-to-speak blind date. 
A set up by one of his business partners who stated that they would be a good match. Harry had rolled his eyes at that but couldn’t come up with an excuse fast enough to say ‘no.’
Her name was Aria, she had a respectable job at a local law firm as an assistant to a very well-known lawyer in the area. 
She was beautiful in the way of looking just like an instagram model with long dark extensions, false eyelashes that made it hard to determine what color her eyes were, and an outfit that made Harry a bit embarrassed to be seen with her - short and low cut at a five-star restaurant.
“Yeah, I just got back from Mallorca with a group of friends,” She tells him, flipping through the photo album on her phone to show him pictures. 
When she ‘accidentally’ swipes (and slowly swipes) again so that Harry definitely gets a glimpse of a nude selfie.
Harry internally groans, couldn’t be less turned on by that, and doesn’t acknowledge it - much to Aria's disappointment. 
She was fishing for a compliment, maybe a request for him to take the phone and look closer at the picture like most men would.
Instead he sits back, takes a sip of his wine, and nods curtly, “It looks like you had a good time.”
She stumbles for a second, confused by his sudden standoffishness, and clicks her phone locked before putting it next to her on the table, “Did I offend you?”
He was already done with the date, with the dating scene, with fucking everything honestly. 
What a goddamn waste of a night.
Harry barks out a cruel laugh, “It takes a lot more to offend me than a picture of y’tits but it’s a bit offensive that y’think so little of yourself that you think that’s how y’going to impress me. Those tits didn’t impress me much, darling.”
Aria’s eyes narrow in blatant disbelief at how much of an asshole he was being. 
Granted, she did feel a bit of embarrassment creeping up in her stomach about thinking showing him that picture was a good idea but still, he didn’t need to react like that.
“It really makes sense why you don’t have a girlfriend, it’s because of what an asshole you are,” The girl sneers with venom as she tucks her phone into her clutch, swigging down the last drops of the expensive wine.
He shrugs like he’s unbothered, a nasty feeling quilling in the pit of his stomach as he keeps an outward expression of nonchalance and ease, it make the raven-haired woman even more furious as he replies cooly, “I’m not being an asshole, honesty hurts sometimes. Maybe if you think the way you attract someone is by nude pictures, you should try Tinder or Bumble.”
“I hope you have fun living the rest of your life alone. You may have your money but you’re going to end up alone and it will be all you fucking have,” Aria tells him before pushing out her chair and leaving before the main course even arrives. 
Harry sits there for a moment, swallowing and pleading with himself to not let the nasty words set in because they felt too real and too personal - she had actually struck some type of chord within and it had his stomach churning.
When he pays the bill, apologizing profusely for leaving dinner before the entree arrives but with an excuse of a company emergency - it’s eerily quiet in his car as he drives home to his massive home with no one in it.
It doesn’t happen often. 
He should call his mum, Gemma, Dorothy even to talk it out but he feels so fucking alone because he can’t get it right. He can’t connect with anyone and it is starting to feel hopeless.
He is angry, so angry at himself, that he can’t shake the feeling of it and he feels like he’s losing control because he never fucking talks about his emotions.
A beautiful set of dishware was sitting out his dining room table, the housekeeper had carefully unwrapped them earlier in the day. 
They were imported from Beijing, decorated with real gold, and handcrafted. It had cost him nearly forty-thousand dollars for a set of fucking plates and bowls.
I hope you have fun living the rest of your life alone. You may have your money but you’re going to end up alone and it will be all you fucking have.
It is repeatedly on a loop in his head, glares at the items on the dinner table like they’re mocking him, and he has no wits about himself before he’s taking one of the beautiful bowls and throwing it against the wall as hard as possible.
I hope you have fun living the rest of your life alone. You may have your money but you’re going to end up alone and it will be all you fucking have.
By the time he’s done, his chest is heaving, and his face is red. 
When reality starts to set back in, every single item from the set is destroyed on the floor, the wall’s paint chipped from where he’d hurled them.
He was so fucked up.
-
Harry couldn’t help but relieve the feelings of that nasty flashback. He couldn’t believe that he had been at that point in his life - not when he had the most all-consuming, amazing in every single way woman laying next to him in his bed.
YN had shown Harry that he had never been broken, he had just been waiting. 
She was his soulmate and he had been waiting for her since forever. He truly believed that as he looked at the girl next to him with enough emotion his heart might burst.
She was just...everything.
YN was so fucking funny - the funniest person Harry had ever met. She was loving in a way that made you feel like you belonged. Compassionate in a way that makes you want to be more selfless yourself. Intelligent enough that it was breathtaking and unreal - and that was just the tip of the iceberg.
She was uncaring of who Harry was - in the most perfect way. 
Money wasn’t a personality trait that she defined him with. She loved him for who he was at the bare basics, stripped away from his public life.
She was confident in a way that girls rarely were. 
Bared face and more beautiful than the highest-paid models. 
Her body was her own, embracing every curve and inch of it without any shame. Let herself be authentic in front of Harry which made him feel like he had won a secret lottery.
Right now, she was fast asleep next to him in bed after stuffing herself full of oreos that she was dunking in milk. She ignored Harry’s looks of disgust at the soggy cookies and munched away happily which made him happy in turn.
She still had a dark crumb on the corner of her puffy lips, her mouth parted just the slightest amount, and her face smushed halfway into the pillow. 
The shirt she had on was so oversized she was swimming in it and a pair of soft pink cheeky underwear.
Currently, she was the farthest thing from graceful and Harry loved that so fucking much. 
As they lay mere days away from their wedding, remembering that nasty flashback, he can’t help but remember their first date and how he had known from them that he had finally found a spark, a connection to another human being.
--
Harry cannot remember the last time he had been nervous. 
Maybe back in his teenage years? If that. 
It was an unsettling feeling that was currently pooling in the pit of his stomach as he changed his outfit for the third time before finally being somewhat satisfied with the suit he had picked out - tighter black jeans, black button-up, black blazer - couldn’t go wrong there. ***
YN had texted him asking what she should wear for their first date when Harry told her he was going to keep it simple and take her to a restaurant.
He had to dress nice, it was an expensive restaurant that he had not taken any other dates to before, it was right outside of London - going towards the countryside with a beautiful view of a meadow and stream.
When he had arrived in front of her apartment, well he had never been on this side of town, and it quite frankly looked like the roof of her building was about to collapse at any minute. It was rough to say the least.
Harry had picked out a car he thought would impress her. He remembered her saying the doors of his Lamborghini were stupid so he picked a car with normal doors this time. It was his new Audi Quattro that had cost him upwards of 170,000 pounds. ***
YN had popped out of the front door, her face didn’t read impressed when she saw the car like he had hoped. It was interesting before YN, he did not care whether or not his dates were impressed by him - now he craved it.
She looked extraordinary in a form fitting silky black dress that hugged every single curve of her body perfectly while accentuating them at the same time. Minimal makeup, loose waves, and simple high heels - it was like a dream that he was taking this girl out on a date. ***
When she slips into the passenger seat, the smell of her floral yet cinnamon perfume makes the car smell heavenly, she looks over at him and says, “You didn’t even come open the door for me. We’re off to a bad start, Harry.”
His heart sinks, fuck - he had been blindsided by her beauty that he wasn’t even being a proper gentleman, “M’so sorry, I wa-”
She chirps out a tender laugh, patting his arm, “You’re face, oh my god. I was just fucking with you.”
Harry’s frown turns into a pout, “S’not nice, pet.”
YN shrugs before a bit self-consciously adjusting the fabric around her midsection, “Erm, I hope this outfit is nice enough? It’s really the only semi-decent thing I own.”
He shakes his head in disbelief, “Y’look absolutely stunning. I can’t even believe y’real to be honest, so fuckin’ pretty.”
YN gives him a shy, unsure smile but he can tell she’s preening at the compliment internally (which she totally is).
The restaurant is one of the nicest in England, let alone London. 
There wasn’t even a menu, they just served eight courses over a few hours time by servers in suits with bowties on. 
YN had never felt more out of place.
As they sat down, Harry was proud that he was able to show off his abilities for a good date, YN was looking around nervously before looking up at the server and saying, “We didn’t get menus yet.”
The man gives her a humorous expression before telling her, “We don’t do menus here, miss. Your date is a regular, I am sure he can fill you in. However, we are starting off with a Cabernet from 2001 imported from Napa, California.”
As he pours the wine into their sparkling glasses, she asks unknowingly, “I don’t really like wine. Is there any way I could get a Coke?”
Harry frowns when the server laughs meanly at her, “Ma’am this isn’t McDonald’s. We do not carry soda. I can provide you with water, if you so wish.”
Harry can’t help but snap at the waiter, “Oi, she’s never been here before. Lay off with the attitude alright?”
“My apologies, Mr. Styles,” He murmurs obediently before finishing the pouring off the whine and retreating from the table.
YN is trying to hide how uncomfortable she is but it is still obvious with how she fidgets in her seat, doesn’t quite know what to do with her hands as she doesn’t even bother to reach towards the wine glass.
“This isn’t really your scene, is it?” Harry murmurs, embarrassment with his failure to impress her with an expensive car and dinner. 
It was falling flat and it was the only thing he knew how to do - flaunt his wealth, everyone else had always been impressed.
“No, it isn’t,” She agrees quietly, fingers folding the edges of the cloth napkin to keep her anxiousness directed somewhere, “I appreciate this, er, dinner. I thought we were going to go somewhere like Mary’s.”
Mary’s was a restaurant that was considered ‘nice’ to the commoners in the city. It was a bit more expensive than a pub and the attire was a bit fancier than if you were going out to a bar. 
For someone like Harry, that was not considered a fancy restaurant. 
However, YN was not him and this was not something that she had ever been accustomed to. He now definitely felt like an idiot.
It’s made even worse when a massive plate is put in front of each of them. 
The plate is huge but the dish is merely one scallop with a lemon sauce and sprinkle of parsley on top. YN can’t even try to hide her confusion at the food.
 “I’ve mucked this date up,” Harry sighs, nearly thirty minutes into the actual date. 
YN had taken a small bite of the scallop before setting down her fork and not touching it again - it tasted like dirty feet. Did rich people like that taste?
She decides not to answer directly, “I already know you have money. It doesn’t ‘wow’ me. I was hoping for a fun date, this is….nice but quite truthfully, not for me. I prefer a pub or bowling - this feels more like a business meeting.”
Harry usually doesn’t have dates that are this honest with him. 
He feels embarrassed but he really did appreciate her honesty. He should have known to do something different than this but he was comfortable with his normal pattern.
“Can we get out of here?” YN asks, placing the napkin back on the table and gathering up her small purse to swing over her shoulder.
He feels defeated as he nods, paying for the meal in full as he accepts that he’s fucked up the date beyond repair by being an arrogant, ignorant asshole who doesn’t truly know how to talk to a girl he likes.
It’s quiet as he starts the car and pulls back onto the road, he startles a bit when YN points to a glowing sign of a golden arch and demands, “Go there.”
With a bit of confusion, Harry pulls into the McDonald’s parking lot and then to the drive-thru as she motions for him to do so. 
God, he hasn’t been to a fast food joint in years now if he was being honest.
When they pull up to the screen, YN leans across and shoots out their food order with ease before sitting back with a smug smile, “We’re going to have a date my way.”
Harry sighs with relief when he realizes the date isn’t over - but really just beginning. They sit and chat in the parking lot. He is thoroughly impressed when YN manages a box of nuggets, a fry, and a milkshake without shame.
Not like she should be shameful - just usually on dates women were hesitant to actually eat and instead picked carefully at their food instead. Their conversation in the car is bright, at some points deep and meaningful, but refreshing. It made him feel young again.
After they finished eating, she’s ordering him to drive a bit further out into the country where he can’t help but make the joke, “Are y’taking me somewhere to kill me?” YN smiles happily with a wide grin, “You’ll just have to wait to see.”
It ends up being a lake. A beautiful body of water that was surrounded by trees that were being reflected into the ripples with the light of the moon. The only sounds were of crickets chirping and the light lapping of the water against the small shore. ***
“I used to come here a lot in the summer in high school,” YN murmurs as Harry takes in the scenery of everything. It had been so long since he had appreciated nature - not the bright clear waters in the tropics but something like this.
“S’beautiful,” Harry replies, can’t help but observe this girl he’s infatuated beauty in the moonlight. 
Her skin looks like it’s glowing, the moon sparkling off the twinkle of her iries, and she just looked...ethereal. Like she belonged in the beauty of the wilderness.
He couldn’t believe his eyes - had to blink harshly a few times to make sure he’s not imagining it when she pulls the thin straps of her dress down her shoulders and shimmy the garment down her body until she’s left in a delicate lace bra and cheeky pair of underwear.
Harry, always the gentleman, keeps his eyes (with effort) on her face. Unsure of what is going on in her mind before she turns around with a little run and dives headfirst into the deep waters before popping back up and giggling, “Jump in!”
She’s just so...carefree, adventurous. Harry hadn’t felt free in fucking years.
It has him shucking out of all of his clothing, just down to his tight black briefs before he’s diving in, right next to her, and feeling around. He wraps his hand around her ankle to teasingly tug her under with him before they both surface.
As they wad in the water, YN swims over to him, and wraps her legs around his waist, arms around his neck. Her soaking wet hair was dripping and he was breathing heavy, feeling his ribcage expand against her soft tummy.
She murmurs quietly over the light lapping over the water, “You haven’t even looked at me once.”
Harry swallows, feeling like a schoolboy again, “I...I didn’t want to without permission.”
“I want you to look at me,” YN replies, letting her nose nudge his and her eyes searching into his nervous ones. 
He nods, closing his eyes when he feels her lips brush his, letting his large palms grip at her sides and pull her closer to his chest. Their lips not breaking when his hands begin to explore the intricate, plush curves of her body.
They don’t do anything else, don’t go any further but he groaning when she traces her fingertips down his muscular, defined abs and thumb rubbing over the trail of light hair leading into his briefs.
After a swim, filled with splashing and dunking, they retired to lay in the grass. Both of their backs, looking up at the clear night sky, moon full and stars glittering against the stark darkness that surrounds it.
YN wriggle until she’s tucked into his side, hand running up and down his chest, as she says, “I’m sorry your date didn’t go as planned. I ruined it.”
“Y’didn’t ruin anything. I...I haven’t felt like this in a long time,” Harry admits as he gives off an embarrassed laugh, “I..I’m a little bit scared, to be honest.”
“Scared? Of what?” YN asks, lips pressing against a tattoo on his bare shoulder.
“Because I already am falling for you,” Harry utters, heart racing and his eyes glued upwards and pointedly not wanting to see her interaction.
“That’s a relief.”
His eyebrows shoot up, “A relief?”
“Yeah, I would say. I’m falling too,” YN whispers before leaning up to connect their lips once more as the moon rises further in the sky and the crickets sing a little louder. They lay like that for a very long time.
Harry went home that night for the first time not feeling the empty weight of his loneliness, instead he feel asleep imagining the beautiful, spontaneous girl next to him in his bed.
--
It wasn’t going to be the wedding everyone expected for The Harry Styles. **
There was not many invites set out for this event. It wasn’t the wedding of the century or the most expensive wedding of the decade.
Harry would have let his wife-to-be have this day however she wanted without complaint but could say he was very happy that it was going to a be a low-key event. It was going to be some of YN’s family, though she didn’t have much, and Harry’s extended family. No one from work or business. Just family.
They had just gotten finished with the rehearsal dinner, the couple being ordered to separate rooms for the final night before they were married. It was tradition. 
Harry had walked YN to her hotel room, they were staying at the venue, and pressed her up against the door. His hand coming to weave into her meticulously curled hair and cupping the back of her head, bring her mouth to his.
He wastes no time in letting his tongue find hers, hips coming to press her further back against the aged wood, and his teeth nipping roughly at her plump bottom lip, “Baby, y’gonna be m’wife tomorrow.”
YN’s eyes twinkle up at him like they did during their first date, “I can’t wait. I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”
His fiance laughs kindly as he gets a bit watery eyed, her thumb coming to swipe under his eye, she jokes, “Are you regretting proposing now?”
“Just never knew I could be this happy,” He murmurs against her lips, can’t help but reach around to grip a generous amount of her backside and pulling her flush against him where he’s hardening quickly.
“Mm, down boy. You don’t get the goods until tomorrow,” YN scolds, hand wrapping around his wrist and squeaking when he squeezes harder to get the point across - how much he wants her, all the fucking time.
“Want it now, pet,” Harry whines lowly, grinding his hips forward into her, “Give it t’me, y’mouth, y’cun-”
“Alright lovebirds! Separate now!” Gemma barks to interrupt with the laughter of their childhood friend Chloe.
They pull Harry by the back of the shirt and push him forward towards his room, Gemma smiles back at YN, “Make him put a ring on it before you give it to him!”
“Gem!” Harry scolds with a whine, giving his fiance puppy dog eyes and a pouted bottom lip, “Baby, don’t let them take me!”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, I love you!” YN shouts back, waving and smiling to herself as she opens up the door to her room and then locking it after she steps in. It feels weird being in a hotel room without him but she was a bit sweaty and her nerves were wiry so she decided a nice bath would be a good idea.
-
It’s past two in the morning and she was no less ready to find sleep. The worries of whether everything will be set up properly, if she’ll stutter during her vows, there were just so many things that could go wrong.
Life didn’t even seem real at this moment. 
She was marrying her husband at an amazing castle on the coast of italy with family to surround them in love. She had the perfect dress, the perfect flowers, the perfect partner. ***
She had never had it easy. Never thought she would deserve something like this. Harry had made her feel worthy of all this, they deserved to have a happy ever after. 
When it hits three in the morning, she can’t stand the quiet of the italian countryside anymore, and is swinging her legs over the bed. She pockets the keycard Harry gave her earlier in the day in her cotton shorts before sneaking out of her room.
After she taps the card to the sensor, the large oak doorknob clicks, she slips in and closes the door as silently as possible. YN steps in to the room, Harry's asleep in his bed on his stomach, face smushed into the pillow.
Harry’s facial expression and body language while he was awake was so severe, serious, intimidating. In sleep, his face was lax and his limbs loose. He looked more boyish when he was dreaming.
YN’s heart aches at how much she loves him, pulling the covers up, and crawling under them until she’s jostling him unintentionally, waking him from his light sleep with a mumble, “Baby, y’okay? Wha’s wrong? Y’alright?”
She giggles at his dazy panic, “I just missed you.”
“Mmm,” Harry agrees, pulling her all the way down and rolling on top of her, “Missed y’more.”
“You’re like a toaster!” YN squeals as he’s encompasses her, laying on her with his weight. His lips finding her pulse point and gently sucking. He was barely awake and he still couldn’t stop himself from her finding comfort in her body.
“I’m warmin’ y’up,” Harry growls against her neck before giving her a lick which has her giggling even more and pushing him off until he falls on his back and she’s swing her legs over his waist, straddling him.
“Y’breakin’ the tradition, m’heart.”
YN shrugs, humming while he palms at her belly, and she (much to his disappointment) ignores where he’s hard and waiting for her.
“I want t’sleep with you,” She pleas sheepishly, leaning all the way over to connect their lips in a quickie peck before she’s moving off of him and into his side.
“Never say no to you, y’know that, dovie,” Harry replies as if it’s obvious (it is).
“We’re getting married tomorrow,” YN whispers into the dark, like it’s a secret just between the two.
Harry nuzzles his nose against her temple, “Never wanted anythin’ more than I want you.”
YN can’t help but sniffle softly, overwhelmed with emotion and love, “You’re so good to me. I don’t deserve you.”
“You saved me. You saved me from myself, from where I was going. You gave me hope, feeling again. Y’are m’heart, it fuckin’ beats for you.”
It may not be tradition but YN wouldn’t of had it any other way, sleeping in a magnificent castle on the ethereal coast of Italy in a classic hotel room, and the excitement of their wedding rumbling in both of their stomachs.
--
“You sneaky bastards!” Bethany screeches, door flinging open with Gemma in tow as they intrude into Harry’s room - finding the couple curled up under the covers with Harry spooning YN with his face tucked into her hair.
“Fuck off,” Harry groans, pulling his fiance closer into his chest as she wriggles awake and whimpers lowly, “Mornin’ lovie.”
“Out out!” Gemma shoos, pulling the covers off of them and the sisters showing no mercy while they yank YN out of the bed and titter about how she needs to start getting ready, no time for cuddles, breaking traditions.
“Bring her back!” He whines childishly, hurling a pillow at his sister’s retreating back as they guide YN back to her own room.
“You’ll see her in a few hours!” Gemma shouts back before slamming the hotel room door and leaving Harry to doze off for just a few more minutes.
-
Hair and makeup went fast. 
It was getting closer and closer to actually walking down the aisle towards her soon-to-be life partner and she’s never felt more nervous.
Rosemary and Bethany were all rushing around - attempting to get ready in the midst of getting the bride ready.
YN didn’t want to look like a doll or have any intense makeup. It was a soft champagne smokey eye with dewy skin and a glowing highlight. A nice lip with a bit of glittering gloss.
Her hair was in big, loose curls that cascaded down her back with the front pulled off of her face. A real white flower holding it back.
Then it was the dress. She was anxious about whether Harry would like it or not. She wasn’t sure what he was expecting her to wear - a massive ball gown, a form-fitting mermaid, or something less over-the-top?
It was a show-stopper that had her memorized when she had first seen it - could automatically imagined herself getting married in Italy with this on her body.
It was also one of the only times she didn’t even care about the price tag - she knew this was it. Yes, it was absurd to spend fifty thousand pounds on a dress but it was the one time she took advantage of Harry’s wealth.
It was flowy, reminding her of the soft waves that lapped at the coast of the italian beaches. It was sophisticated, classy with a sharp starch white that billowed into a dreamlike beauty.
What had made her fall in love was the sheer, detailed sleeves that gave the dress more of a vintage, glamour appearance than the modern tight-fit, overly sexy gowns that most brides wore nowawadays. ***
The train was long and sleek. It would trail beautifully down the aisle before being bustled for the reception. It made her feel confident in a way that an item of clothing next had made her feel before.
“Your tits look amazing,” Bethany compliments before giggling when their grandmum pinches her arm for her crude language.
YN couldn’t find it in her to laugh. She felt like her voice was stuck in her throat and it wasn’t moving. 
It started to feel real.
The fact that Harry had proposed, had planned a wedding with her, that he was agreeing to marrying her today.
It was starting to scare her - no, not cold feet but anxiety that he would realize that he could do better than the lowly waitress.
Now, on a normal day, she wouldn’t be having these irrational thoughts. Today was different and it felt too good to be true.
Rosemary and Bethany sense the tension in the room, rub her shoulders, and respect her wishes when she asked for a moment alone.
YN debates picking up her phone, knowing he was busy with his bigger side of the family in the groom’s suite.
She finds herself picking up her mobile, dialing his number, and waiting with bated breath for his syrupy, warm voice to pour through the speaker.
“Everythin’ okay?” He answers, she can hear Anne and Gemma tittering about in the background, yelling at him to get a move on.
“I’m scared,” YN whispers, she holds back her tears because the last thing she wanted to do was ruin her meticulous makeup.
“Leavin’ me at the altar?” Harry jokes lowly, stepping away from prying ears.
YN giggles at his teasing tone, “Never. I…I feel like this is all too good to be true. Like it’s a dream and I’m going to wake up.”
Harry huffs, “Sweetheart. Y’my soulmate, if y’wake up - I’m right there with you, okay? God, if anyone is dreamin’ it’s me. I get t’marry the most beautiful, intelligent -“
Gemma’s voice interrupts him, “You already seduced her into marrying you! We don’t have time for this sweet talk!”
The line goes dead but YN feels much better now.
Rosemary was going to be the one walking her down the aisle to her new husband. It didn’t feel right to have anyone else do it as she was the one who raised her into the strong, independent woman she was today.
YN knew she wanted to have an outside wedding. 
What would be more perfect than a cool evening in Italy? It was what she had dreamed about since she was little without the idea that it would ever happen.
The weather was absolutely perfect. There was a slight warm breeze that would keep the guests from being overheated, the sun was peeking in and out of vibrant white clouds that complimented the blue sky.
She knew exactly where Harry would be standing. 
Underneath a beautiful, dated archway with intricate designs about. 
The old material had lovingly grown luscious ivy that kissed the walls in a swirling, natural design. 
YN would never forget how beautiful that ivy had looked on her wedding day, encompassing the magnificent that was her soon-to-be husband.***
The venue was open, airy but still gave off an intimacy. There weren't many rows of chairs because not many were invited to share in such an ethereal experience where soulmates have found each other and were announcing their commitment to the world.
“Are you ready, my daughter?” Her grandmother had asked quietly as they lined up behind the expansive, old brick wall that hides them from the rest of the ceremony and crowd. She could hear the whispering as people took their seats.
YN nods, her vocal cords refusing to cooperate as she imagines Harry just as nervous on the opposite side with his family. 
When the twinkling, traditional music begins from the small orchestra off to the side - the realization hits her - it is actually happening, right now.
Bethany puts her bouquet in front of her, giving one last meaningful smile at her sister before she takes her cue to turn the corner and begins her walk down the aisle. 
It meant Harry was up there, watching as she was about to appear.
Then the orchestra’s melody became louder, more grand in the signaling for the guests to stand and turned toward the back of the room - awaiting the bride’s entrance to the ceremony. 
Rosemary takes the initiative to hook their arms and guide her past the wall.
YN clutches onto her own flowers as if it’s her lifeline. ***
Every fear, insecurity, moment of self-doubt dissipates when her eyes connect to Harry’s. There is no longer a doubt in her mind that she wasn’t enough. It was a deep, unbreakable stare as Harry’s mouth parts in a gasp of awe.
He was in a suit that was undeniably him. It displayed how fucking regal he was, how it looked like he was handcrafted into the italian design, how it fit him just perfectly.
It wasn’t a normal tuxedo. It was a perfectly tailored, custom (of course) Gucci suit that excentuate his broad shoulders and the nip of his narrow hips *** ***. 
YN can’t even hear the noise of the guests - whispering about how beautiful she looks.
All she can see is her future husband, who swallows harshly as an unexpected sob wracks through his chest at the sight of his bride.
The guests can’t help but look with wide eyes as the man they know - who they’ve barely ever seen smile, let alone cry, cannot control his emotions.
Gemma, who was his ‘best man’ which they deemed ‘best woman’, rubs his back soothingly with a watery smile herself at seeing her brother so estastatic as he looks at the woman of his dreams.
Harry rubs his eyes before meeting hers again.
YN is holding back her own tears as she reaches the end of the aisle.
In tradition as old as time, Harry steps forward and Rosemary passes her hand over to him in a signal that she trusts him to take care of the girl she’s spent meticulous time raising and cultivating into the person she is today.
“I trust you to take care of my girl, she is now yours,” Rosemary tells Harry, her tone is calm and full of emotion as she allows Harry to lean over to kiss her cheek softly.
Harry nods, his usually stable voice shaky as he replies, “I promise, I’ll take care of her until the day I die.”
Rosemary nods before patting his cheek and finding her seat in the audience.
When they are finally standing face-to-face, YN reaches over to thumb off a stray tear that was sliding down his cheek before he turns his head to kiss her thumb then kissing her palm. 
Harry didn’t even acknowledge that there was anyone else watching - it was just him and her.
“Y’look breathtaking, can’t believe y’mine,” Harry murmurs trembling, his chest moving faster than usual and it felt like it was nearly impossible for him to catch his breath as he looked at the woman in front of him.
When it comes to the vows, Bethany hands over her small piece of paper that she had scribbled onto and scratched out multiple times - never quite able to get the wording just right and she says just that.
“I couldn’t find the right words to explain my love for you,” She starts, voice raspy as she looks up to see Harry watching her raptly, eyes intense and only focused on her.
“And maybe there aren’t even words to explain it because nothing felt like enough. It is how I feel a lot of the time with you. I’ll never have enough of you because you’re all-consuming to me. I have never felt happiness like I have with you.”
YN is trying to stifle her tears as she continues, Harry reaches out to rub her arm in reassurance then he lightly brushes over the new necklace he had gifted her, “You’re by far the most complex, closed-off person I have ever met. I feel like you’ve allowed me to crack the code and once I did, I wasn’t disappointed. I’ve cracked my own code, you see.”
“The code to explaining my feelings for you will come with my dedication, love, loyalty to be your wife for the rest of our lives.”
Harry can’t help what he does next despite it not falling in line at the ceremony.
His hands come up to cup her jaw and he sears his lips to hers, kissing her with all the passion and emotion he cannot seem to keep in any longer. It’s too much, has to show her in that moment how much he loves her.
A few of his uncles whistle from the crowd as their wives smack their chests in warning.
YN giggles, returning the kiss before pushing him off. 
The look in his eyes is one she knows extremely well - it sends shivers down her spine and makes her hair stand on end -, the stare down of lust and want.
“Mr. Styles,” The officiant redirects, nodding towards the piece of paper he has in his hand.
“Yeah, sorry,” Harry mumbles, unraveling the wrinkled notecard he had tucked in his inner suit pocket.
“I knew I was in love with you the moment you spilled that drink on me and undressed me in that dodgy employee bathroom,” Harry says with full sincerity, smirking at YN’s blush when he brings up the way they met.
“I tried to talk myself out of it. It was impossible to fall in love in mere minutes of meeting someone but it was the truth. I knew after our first date that I wanted y’to be m’wife. I knew after the second that I wanted y’to be the mother of my babies one day. And by the third date, I was planning on buying you a ring.”
“It sounds insane because it is. I’ve never been an impulsive, spur-of-the-moment, hopeful person before you. You made me throw all that out of the window, you make me feel alive, and when I tell you that you saved me. You saved me, m’love.”
“There is a lot of uncertainty in this world but I can tell you one thing that is absolutely fuckin’ certain -”
“Harry,” YN hisses with an eye-roll at his crude language.
“The one thing that is absolutely certain in this world is that I will always love you, always take care of you, and always do everythin’ in m’power to make you happy.”
The guests in the chairs are quite speechless. 
They’d never heard such passionate, meaningful vows from a couple. 
This was not what they were expecting of Harry who had never once put his heart on his sleeve and right now he’d laid it all out on the table.
--
“YN LN, do you agree to take Harry Edward Styles as your husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until the end of your time on earth?” The officiant asks, voice ringing against the walls of the castle.
YN has to take a big breath before she replies in a strong, firm voice as her eyes bore into Harry’s, “I do.”
“Harry Edward Styles, do you agree to take YN MN LN as your wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until the end of your time on earth?” The officiant repeats.
Harry, in ever typical fashion, in his loud, booming voice replies, “Of course I fuckin’ do.”
The guests in the audience laugh lightly as the officiant states, “I now announce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Styles. You may now kiss your bride.”
It doesn’t take more than a second for Harry to step forward, grip her face and pull her in for a kiss, it doesn’t matter that their family is there to him as he licks into her mouth which is bordering on obscene before YN brings it back to a softer, more appropriate one.
He whispers against his lips, barely audible, “Can’t believe y’my fucking wife, m’fucking heart.”
--
As people are moving towards the reception area, Harry manages to find a secluded area of the outside gardens where there is no one in sight.
“Baby, baby, y’married me,” Harry is nearly chanting, like he’s in disbelief, at the same time he’s cornering his new bride up against the brick wall with his mouth trailing sloppy wet kisses down her shoulder.
“Mmm, it was everything I ever imagined, it was so beautiful. Everything I had imagined for our day,” YN replies blissfully, hands running carefully through his meticulously styled hair.
When he bends down and lifts up the bottom of her dress, she giggles when he ducks his head underneath all the tulle and fabric, finding a very skimpy pair of white lace panties that are supposed to be saved for later.
“Harry,” YN scolds half-heartedly, it would only take one person to find them in this undeniable inappropriate situation but she willingly let him push her further against the brick and take one of her legs over his shoulder.
“Baby, these fuckin’ panties,” He groans, muffled by the barrier of the heavy fabric, and she hisses when pulls them down to the thick of her thighs and his mouths finds her center within moments.
“Fu-fuck,” She hisses, trying to keep her moans down as he wastes no time in pushing in two thick fingers to curve towards her front as his tongue laps quickly and sloppily on her clit until it feels like she’s about to explode.
“S’right, fuckin’ m’cunt. I have it f’the rest of my life, found the best one,” Harry mutters against her wet skin, almost to himself like he can’t even believe the words, before he’s back to speeding up his fingers to match the rhythm of his mouth until she’s quivering for a whole other reason now.
It takes a few minutes for Harry to calm himself down enough to be able to go into the reception, he tells YN that he can’t even look at her right now because if he does he’ll be perpetually hard throughout the whole thing.
--
The reception is more of a dinner than a party. 
Fairy lights strung above the two long tables where decadent, mouth-watering food was served with the orchestra playing light, melodic music in the background. ***
It was perfect. 
Their family drank, laughed, ate, and were merry. 
Everyone was basking in each other’s company, congratulating the new couple, and enjoying all the beauty that was surrounding them at the castle. 
There is not much more to say than that. 
--
The honeymoon suite was located on one of the highest floors of the castle, away from all of the other wedding guests and staff.
YN was sure it was beautiful but from the moment she was carried over the threshold, she didn’t see anything but her new husband - he was blinding in his beauty. His skin was glowing, a slight sheen of sweat from the reception, and the still warm bite in the breeze. ***
“Sweetheart, baby. Please let m’undress you, y’my wife,” Harry pleas softly, his hands are everywhere - her face, her shoulders, hips - continuously wandering as if it’s impossible to find one place to settle.
“Please, c’mon. I need you, H,” She agrees, letting him take down the zipper on the side of her gown.
The expensive garment discarded on the floor in a pool of fabric as he fully takes in her lingerie set. ***
“Fuck me, darlin’,” Harry chuckles in amazement, fingertips tracing over the delicate lace that was stitched by Alessandro Michele himself for the bride, "Y’body is a god damn dream, look at you. - fuck.”
“Please,” His wife whimpers, voice desperate as his light and careful touches are no longer enough. 
She needs him close, she needs her husband.
“Okay, okay,” He simpers, moving her back until he can have her right where he wants her, on her back in the middle of the massive, blanket-ridden bed - her white lingerie standing out against the dark duvet.
Harry had always imagined this night. 
To have someone laid out underneath him. 
No rush, no urgency but to truly, physically show that person through touch that you love them.
He starts near her collarbone, feathery heated kisses that warm her skin as she welcomes him with heavy weight on top of her so eager he wasn’t even undressed yet.
When his mouth finds her nipples through the sheer fabric, she pushes her chest up in encouragement as he bites at the nubs with sharp but careful teeth that wet the fabric.
“It feels so good, baby,” YN mewls, letting him nip and suck for a moment before pushing him up until he’s rid of every inch of fabric that had been covering his body.
“M’always gonna make y’feel good. I’ll fuck you wherever, wehenver cause you’re m’wife,” Harry grunts, impatiently reaching behind to unclasp the corset until her breasts spill free and jiggle in a way that makes his mouth water.
“Wait, wait,” YN puts a hand to his cheek when he already has his mouth darting out to lap at her hardened nipple.
“Don’t make me wait, m’heart,” Harry grumbles with a furrowed brow, his hand still unable to stop from reaching up to palm at her full breasts, thumbs rolling the nipples as he stares fiercely up at her.
“You know how you got me a present?” YN murmurs, biting back a whimper when a zip of electricity shoots from her nipple down to where she’s already dripping for him, “I got you something too.”
Harry’s face relaxes, it’s like he finds his grounding again, “Baby, didn’t need t’get me anythin’. Y’the best fuckin’ gift I could have gotten. Does look beautiful sittin’ between y’tits though.”
His new wife giggles, “Well I really hope you like mine….it’s non-refundable.”
He looks at her with confusion even more so when she wriggles down her panties and flips on her belly with her arms resting under chin.
Of course, Harry finds it immediately and she can tell by the deep, pleased growl he emits from the back of his throat, “You fuckin’ didn’t.”
“I did.”
It was his name, small and cursive right on her bum cheek. 
After they got engaged, he went out and got her name tattooed on his pec - much to her dismay. 
She had never talked about returning the favor and had kept it the ultimate surprise.
“I think I almost just came from this,” Harry rasps, his fingers tracing the small ink over and over in awe, “Baby, y’put m’name on your bum. It makes y’look like my property, sweetheart.”
“I am yours,” YN giggles, yelping when she feels his teeth graze the sensitive skin before he’s suckling and licking at his name - can’t take his eyes off the beauty of her.
“Yeah, you fuckin’ are,” He agrees whole-heartedly, his hands calming to cup and palm at her cheeks as he fawns over his wedding present, “This is the best present I’d ever fuckin’ received, fuck - never goin’ to get over this.”
He doesn’t want to look away from the tattoo but knows how he wants to fuck his wife for the first time so he flips her onto her back once again, lips finding hers. 
She whispers, hand wrapping around his cock, “Still have to pay you back for earlier.”
“No blowies tonight, pet. We’re goin’ to do it the right way, m’gonna make love to you,” Harry murmurs, his lips finding hers as he bats her hand away to grasp at his thick base. He teases the sensitive head over her clit and entrance a few times before slowly sinking in.
“Ohh, been ready for you all day. You looked like a fucking wet dream standing at the alter, waiting for me,” YN sighs happily, wriggling her hips to adjust a bit before she spreads her legs and lets Harry rest in between them, “Ever since I saw you in the suit, I’ve been waiting.”
“Yeah, baby? I can tell, y’so wet, warm f’me,” Harry praises, his movements are slow and unrushed, their hips meeting gently as he pushes in each time with care, “Can’t believe y’gonna let me have this for the rest of m’life.”
“I love you so so much,” She utters breathlessly as he continues to make her feel so fucking full - emotionally and physically, “Best husband ever, can’t believe it.”
Harry chuckles tenderly, “Baby, I need y’to come soon. I’m so close, never come this quick. The thought of y’being my wife is making it impossible to last then with the tatto-”
YN soothes his hair in understanding, pushing up to meet their lips and allow their tongues to dance as he lifts her thigh against his hip to thrust in with a bit more force. His thumb comes to her clit to spur her along which doesn’t take much with how aroused she’s been all day.
Harry follows right after, much to his embarrassment of his lack of stamina but can you blame him? He has the hottest fucking wife on the planet.
“Round two?” YN smirks as he leans down to pepper kisses all over her cheeks. She knows the night has just begun.
“Mmm,” He agrees instantly, “Now that we made love, m’gonna fuck y’from behind so I can watch my name jiggle on your arse.”
And that’s what he does. It takes nearly no rebound time, flips her on her belly again to gaze and worship his name as he fills out in no time again. His fingers occasionally dip back between her thighs to tease at her entrance before he swipes her own wetness on the tattoo to lick it off.
She’s tired, exhausted from the events of the day but wants to reach that last orgasm before sleep overtakes them. 
On her hands and knees, Harry doesn’t pound into her like he normally would. 
Instead, he eases back in with eyes darting between his wedding present and where they’re connecting, his thumb diligently rubbing hard and steady circle on her nerves.
“C’mon wifey, need y’to not be stubborn,” Harry goads, feeling his release coming again - he pinches her clit with just enough pressure that has her whining before Harry has to hold her up by the waist as she quivers.
It has him finishing right after with a gentle smack to her bumcheek, the skin already tender and sore from all of his attention on the spot as it was.
“I loved your vows,” YN murmurs against his chest. He had wrapped her up in one of the plush blankets and he had pulled on a tight pair of briefs and they were laying on a lounge chair on the blacony under the italian stars.
“I loved yours just as much, y’did crack the code m’love ‘cause now I’m yours forever,” Harry rumbles, his voice raspy with drowsiness.
Little did they know that in a few short years, they would be back under these italian stars with knowledge that they were growing a little product of their love in her belly.
A litte baby named Ivy, just like the beautiful, lucious nature that had decorated the place in magneificent as they spoke vows - dedicating their lives to each other.
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mca-attack21 · 3 years
Text
Semi-Flayed
Steve Harrington x Reader. Season 3 finale spoilers.
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The floor was cold, the atmosphere chaotic. The screams of your friends were drowned out by the fireworks and snarls of the mindflayer. Despite the noise, you clearly heard Billy, or the Mindflayer rather, whisper, “Stay still, it will all be over soon," his words sent ice through your veins. You struggled against his grasp, but it was no use. Realizing the imminence of your demise, you felt an overwhelming sadness, not even for yourself, but for Steve Harrington, the first and apparently last love of your life. As the “flaying” began, he was the only thing on your mind. You hoped that he would survive this, that he would get out of Hawkins, that he would be happy. You hoped-
“Y/N!” Steve screamed as he blew his cover to run to your side.
This caught the attention of Eleven, who managed to use her powers to throw Billy away from you. She fell back against Mike. The rest of the kids were still blasting the mind flayer with fireworks. Steve used the opportunity to pick you up and carry you away from the action.
“Y/n? Can you hear me? You gotta wake up okay? I did not survive being tortured by Russians only to have you be flayed before I could even-” his voice broke, and before he could continue, he was rounding the corner to where Dustin was.
“Shit. Is she okay?”
“I don’t know. Billy - the mind flayer- how do we know if she? What if she was?” Steve tried, but his heart couldn’t even handle the idea of you being lost to him.
“She wasn’t flayed.”
“How do you know?” Steve asked reluctant to be relieved.
“The hive mind is activated, she would be awake and trying to kill us if she was,” Dustin explained.
“Then why isn’t she waking up?”
“I don’t know Steve, but we have bigger problems right now,” he said gesturing to the fact that they were almost out of Fireworks.
Steve hesitantly left your side to help the others and watched in absolute shock as Billy sacrificed himself. It was only moments later that the mind flayer collapsed. It was over. Jonathan hugged Nancy, Mike went to Eleven, Lucas held Max as she cried, and both Steve and Dustin turned towards you.
“Y/n wake up!” Steve tried shaking your shoulders. He lowered his head to your chest to hear your heart beating and feel your breathing, “Y/n, c’mon, I need you to wake up,” he tried again, sounding more desperate.
Before he could continue, the FBI came running in and they were all escorted out. Steve barely managed to convince the EMT to let him ride with you. He was stuck in the waiting room for what seemed like forever, shrugging off the nurses who offered to check out his injuries. Dustin, Mike, Nancy, and Jonathon came in, gathering in silence waiting for any news. The worst part for Steve was when your mother showed up, he had never felt more guilty than when he lied to her about what happened.
Eventually, the doctor came out with a flustered look on his face. He asked for your mom, and Steve quickly stood to join them. The doctor protested, but your mom assured him that Steve should come with her.
“So, I don’t know how to tell you this, but as far as we can tell there is nothing physically wrong with your daughter. She is seemingly in a coma with no cause. As such, there is nothing medically we can do other than sustain her condition if you choose to do so,” he then turned to Steve, “Can you run me through what happened again?” Steve managed to recount his story, trying to ignore your mother's sobs. As soon as he finished, he exited the room in shock, he sunk down to the floor, struggling to breathe, replaying the doctor's words over and over again in his head. His chest was filled with immense pain at the thought of losing you.
He sat there a while trying to calm himself down before forcing himself off the wall and back to the waiting room, where Will, Mrs. Byers, and Eleven had joined the others. All eyes went to him expectantly, but with one look at him Dustin said what they were all thinking, “Shit..."
Steve repeated what the doctor had said, Nancy pulled him into a comforting hug. While the others started brainstorming. There was an hour of outrageous theories until finally, Will realized something, “She wasn’t completely flayed, but the process was definitely initiated.”
“Obviously,” Dustin chimed in.
“But what is flaying? It’s like your identity being ripped away from you and replaced with the host mentality,” Will continued.
“So maybe Y/n’s soul or whatever was separated. Nothing medically wrong with her, because that’s not a physical connection” Mike added.
“So in other words, we have to jumpstart the connection again,” Lucas agreed, and then all eyes shifted to El.
“Do you think you could try to find her? Like you did Billy or Heather?” Mike asked.
“I can try,” El nodded.
Dustin walked over to where Steve was laying with his head in Mrs. Byers' lap. She ran her fingers through his hair like she had for her sons so many times, mind wandering to Hopper. Steve looked so broke, like he had given up any hope.
“We need to get into Y/n’s room, we think we know how to fix her,” Dustin announced.
It was like that swiped a switch in Steve, and he popped up at once, “What do you mean?”
Dustin explained everything to Steve and Mrs. Byers, and then again in layman's terms. From there the whole group formed a plan. Mrs. Byers and Nancy would go distract your mom. Dustin, Mike, and Will would distract the nurses. Steve and El would sneak into your room, while Jonathon kept watch. For once, everything went smoothly.
El was searching the cabinets for something to cover her eyes with, and Steve handed her the red ascot from his Scoops uniform. She went to your side and took your hand, instantly being transported into your consciousness.
It was dark, unlike anything she had ever experienced before. Every step she took was echoing, the entire reality was glitching in and out, but there was no sign of you.
“Y/n?” she called out.
The blackness would flash to a scene of you and then back to the nothingness, “Y/n, can you hear me?” El tried again, “I need you to focus on my voice, and I can bring you back. I’ll bring you back home, back to Steve.”
At the mention of Steve, the glitching stopped and El could see you know for the first time, you laid on the ground folded into yourself. You were pale and shaking, looking only a moment away from death. As she got closer she could hear you softly repeating, “Please don't, I'm sorry.” There was no indication that you knew she was there. She touched you lightly on the shoulder, but it didn’t phase you.
“Y/n? We need to get out of here, I need your help,” she tried, again receiving no response. The glitching started again, each time putting more and more distance between the two of you. El knew that you wouldn’t survive it much longer.
In the hospital room, Steve watched as blood trickled down Eleven’s face. He didn’t know why it was taking so long. He tried to get an idea of what was happening through the one-sided conversation that he was hearing, but even that was being drowned out by his fear of losing you, What if this didn’t work? The lights started flickering, the machines in the room going nuts, and then suddenly Eleven called his name, “I need you to talk to her, to bring her back.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Steve, we don't have time, just talk to her!”
“Okay….Uhm...Y/n? It’s Steve. Your boyfriend,” he started, feeling extremely uncomfortable, before his emotions took over. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to protect you. I’m here now though, and I need you to come back to me. I need you to wake up, cause you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t want to lose you. Not now, not ever. Please Y/n. I love you so much, please wake up." As he finished, everything went black, the entire hospital lost power.
In your head, every nightmare you had ever had was playing through your mind. You were cold and afraid, feeling lost beyond anything you have ever felt. Whatever was happening to you it was killing you, you could feel it draining you. A strange numbness started to overtake you. You weren’t giving up, you were running out of fight. Just as you were trying to prepare yourself for whatever would come next, you heard a familiar voice, “Okay….Uhm...Y/n? It’s Steve. Your boyfriend.” Hearing his voice made everything stop. A warmth filled you, and you forced your eyes open, seeing Eleven.
"El?" you asked weakly.
“You’re going to be fine, I’m here,” she reassured, moving towards you and taking your hand.
The next thing you remember was hearing Steve’s voice, “Are you okay?” he asked, you forced your eyes open to see who he was talking to.
“I’ll be fine,” Eleven reassured him, wiping her nose.
“Everything was going crazy in here and then the power went out...Is she okay now?"
Suddenly Eleven’s face lit up, “Why don’t you ask her yourself?”
You had never seen Steve turn around so quickly in his life, a wide smile on his face as he practically dove onto your bed holding you like his life depended on it. “Nice to see you too,” you laughed. God did he love that laugh, and that smile, and you.
“I am so glad that you are okay,” he sighed, allowing himself to relax a little for the first time since he had found out about the Russian code from Dustin.
“Are you okay?” you asked running your finger lightly across his cheek. His eye was swollen and undoubtedly painful. His lip was busted and his nose was also bruised and swollen. In other words, he looked like he got into a fight with his hands tied behind his back.
He put his hand over yours and pulled it down to his chest over his heart as he had done so many times before, “It’s worse than it looks, I promise. I’m just glad you're okay.”
You were going to ask him what happened but were interrupted by the kids coming in excitedly. They were vividly telling you everything that happened after you were “Semi-flayed” as Will had coined it. You listened to every word, happy to know that it was all over. Their commotion gained the attention of the nurse, who proceeded to kick everyone out. Well, everyone but Steve who was practically glued to your side.
She went back to find the doctor and notify your mother, promising to bring back the ice that you requested for Steve’s eye. There were more happy reunions, followed by another round of tests, and finally, you were discharged. Joyce took Will, Jonathan, Dustin, and Lucas home. Nancy took Mike and Eleven back to her house. Your mom went back to your house and you went with Steve to his.
You both were exhausted but found it hard to sleep.
“What happens now?” you asked innocently.
“What do you mean?”
“How do we move forward from this? I mean nothing can ever really be the same can it?”
Steve thought for a moment, “I think we grieve and heal, then we start looking for the little victories again until this is nothing more than a memory.”
You nodded, “I love you, Steve Harrington,” you spoke softly.
You missed the grin that spread across his face before he kissed your forehead, “I love you too.”
You laid like that for a while, it didn’t take Steve long to fall asleep. You thought about what he said. Tomorrow would be hard, and the day after that too, but eventually your life would become some type of normal again. You shifted to look at his face, careful not to wake him. You felt a sense of relief, knowing that as long as the two of you had each other, you could work through the rest.
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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years
Text
One Misunderstanding
Bucky x Reader
Summary: You struggle to fix Bucky's first impression of you. Bucky struggles with his own feelings.
Warnings: angst, Hydra things- like brainwashing and torture, a few curse words, panic attacks, anxiety
Word count: 5609
a/n: this idea came to me very suddenly, but I'm in love with it. Hopefully whatever I just wrote does it justice.
Masterlist
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"Everyone, meet Y/N. She's the newest member of our little group, bringing in a whole new level of hacking and tech skills. Y/N, meet the team." Tony introduced you to everyone, eager to share your skills.
You turned to the group, getting ready to introduce yourself further, but instead tripped. You shrieked as you fell down the small set of stairs you were at the top of.
Sam, being the closest, caught you. "Good thing you've got tech skills." He chuckled as you righted yourself, firmly planting your feet on the ground.
"Haha, yeah. I'm not a big fan of violence." You winced as you said it, wishing you could take it back. You didn't want to get into the reasons as to why you don't like violence.
To your surprise, nobody asked why. You would have guessed they would have questions, but maybe they weren't interested in your past. They all had their own issues to deal with afterall.
"Eh, we don't need anymore people for fighting anyway. Welcome to the team." Steve greeted you warmly, as you would have expected from America's golden boy.
You gratefully shook his hand, glad to not have to talk about anything yet. Unfortunately, you tripped again when you tried to move back, falling into the one and only Bucky Barnes.
His hands steadied you, dryly laughing at your clumsiness. "You really are clumsy."
You did you best to not show how embarrassed you were. You couldn't deny the claim. Unless you were fighting, something you vowed to yourself to never do again, you were clumsy.
Being abducted and tortured by Hydra may have made you a competent fighter, but your aptitude for tripping over nothing never left.
"Right, sorry!" You greeted everyone else quickly, eager to get situated in your room. "I'm just going to unpack everything." You waved as you backed out of the room, bumping into the wall as you left.
-
You had just finished putting away your stuff when you heard a knock on your door.
"Come in!" You figured someone would have questions for you.
Unsurprisingly, Natasha was the one to step into your room. Of everyone there, you expected her to have learned about your past. It comes with the territory of being a spy.
"Hi, I was hoping to talk to you." Her tone was friendly, but clearly she was skeptical of you. Again, you weren't surprised.
"I thought you might. I'm assuming you read my file? Honestly, I thought everyone would." You laughed gently, shaking your head at yourself.
"I did. Your file is pretty bare bones though. I did some extra digging... Not everyone else is as nosy as me." She grinned, already pleased with your openness. "So, why'd you pretend to be clumsy?"
"Oh, it wasn't pretend. I've always been clumsy. When everything happened, and I learned how to fight, I thought my newfound agility would help. Turns out, it didn't. The only times I'm even the slightest bit coordinated are when I'm fighting or training, but I wasn't lying about that either. When I escaped, I promised myself I wouldn't hurt anyone else."
"Why join the Avengers at all then?" She looked curious, still unsure if she could trust you.
"I wanted to help people. I just didn't want to use the skills they gave me to do it. So, I learned how to code, figured I could help behind the scenes."
She smiled, letting down her guard. Clearly it would take some time, but you could easily see the two of you being close friends.
"So, nobody knows about what you went through?" She couldn't help but be curious about your past.
"Nope. I don't talk about it much, but it's not a secret. I'll answer anything you want to know." You smiled, eager to try and make a real friend here.
You spent the next few hours answering every question Natasha could think of. You told her about being abducted and experimented on.
That lead to even more questions, basically boiling down to the fact that you're not a super soldier, but you do have enhanced senses- and seemingly enhanced clumsiness for when you're not using them.
You told her about learning how to fight, and the punishments you would endure if you got it wrong. The two of you bonded over the shared experience.
Finally, you told her about how you escaped. When the Winter Soldier escaped, every Hydra effort possible was made to find him. That included you. Resources were spread thin, trying to cover more areas. It was the perfect opportunity for you to get out.
"Really, I owe my freedom to him. Even if he doesn't know anything about me." You felt the tears in your eyes, too many emotions swirling through you to keep it all in anymore. "Since then, I've learned everything I could about technology and coding, which pretty much brings you up to date."
Before she could ask anymore questions, there was another knock on your door. Quickly wiping the tears from your eyes, you called another "come in!"
Steve poked his head in the door, cautiously looking between you and Nat.
"I've been sent to stop the interrogation." He grinned, stepping farther into the room.
Nat rose from her spot on the bed, kissing him on the cheek while rolling her eyes. "It wasn't an interrogation. We were bonding."
"Yeah, over what?" He chuckled, trying to figure out what the two of you had in common.
Maybe it was the look in your eyes, or maybe Nat just likes knowing more than everyone, but she smiled conspiratorially at you before responding. "Girl stuff, babe. Just girl stuff."
You smiled as the couple left the room, grateful for not having to explain everything again.
-
Over the next few weeks, the team constantly teased you for your clumsiness. Well, not the whole team. Nat knew the truth, so she never said anything. Peter never teased you either, although that is likely due to the teasing he endures as well.
Weirdly enough, you bonded with the kid over it, eventually telling him about your past as well.
Normally you could shake it off. They clearly didn't mean anything by it. Except Bucky.
Whenever he said anything, he stared you down. His eyes felt like they were piercing your soul. You're not sure exactly why, but he didn't seem to like you much.
Which wouldn't be an issue if you didn't have an embarrassing crush on the man.
Really your infatuation started when you first escaped Hydra. His own escape lead to your freedom, so you admired him. When you found out he was working with the Avengers to help people, you admired him even more.
Watching him on missions is really what caused the infatuation to blossom into a full blown crush.
You, however, would adamantly deny that if anyone ever asked. Which is what just happened.
"What?!" You nearly tripped, again, with how quickly you turned to look at Wanda and Nat.
"You heard me." Nat stared at you, a neutral expression on her face. "When are you going to do something about your crush on Barnes."
"I, I don't- I don't have a crush on Bucky." You stuttered, a lackluster job at denying the truth.
"Please, Y/N. It's so obvious!" Wanda joined in.
The three of you hung out a lot around the compound. It was nice to have a support system to lean on when things got hard.
"Well, even if I did, which I'm not saying I do! He doesn't like me. I don't know what I did, but his eyes feel like daggers whenever we're in the same room." You started out strong, but quickly morphed into a sad resignation. It genuinely upset you that Bucky didn't like you.
"I think I might know what that's about..." Wanda bit her lip, immediately feeling guilty at having said anything.
"What!?" You eagerly turned to her, needing answers. You shuffled your way across the room, never fully rising from your seat on the ground.
"I don't know if I should tell you! I'm not even supposed to know, but sometimes his thoughts are really loud!" Her guilt multiplied.
"You have to tell me now! Then I can fix it!" You were practically begging at her feet from your position on the floor.
She looked at Nat, who just shrugged in return. "Not my place, although I would love to hear it."
"Ugh, fine. But you can't tell anyone I told you!" Wanda glared at the two of you, unable to say no to your pouting face. "The first day we all met you, do you remember what you said?"
Your face scrunched as you tried to remember. "I'm not a big fan of violence?"
She nodded, looking at you as if she just told you everything.
"So?" You asked incredulously, unable to follow her train of thought.
She rolled her eyes, having to spell it out for you. "He kind of took that personally..."
Immediately, you sunk completely to the floor. "Oh, god. Fuck! That's not what I meant at all! I just meant I don't personally like using violence! Shit, shit, shit." You continued to mutter to yourself as Nat and Wanda shared a look.
"Why don't you like using violence?" Wanda asked, intrigued by your reaction.
You thought back to your conversation with Nat the first day you got here. You told her it wasn't a secret, it just wasn't something you brought up.
"Can you just look in my head? I don't really wanna explain it, but I want you to know." You asked, glad to share you past with another friend.
Wanda nodded, seemingly doing nothing until realization dawned on her.
"Oh shit." She whispered, not even realizing she said it out loud.
"Yeah." You huffed out a dry laugh.
"Y/N... I'm so sorry." You smiled at her, having worked through most of the trauma already. "You totally have a crush on Barnes though."
That earned a real laugh. "Hey, that's not what you were in there for!"
"It's not my fault! You were thinking it really loudly!"
The three of you laughed together until you sunk back into a pit of despair.
"What do I do? How do I fix this?" You whined, laying back on the ground like a child.
"I think you just need to talk to him. Explain what you meant." Wanda shrugged, unsure of any other advice to offer you.
"She's right. Just talk to him." Nat nodded along as you whined on the floor.
-
After a few days, you finally worked up enough courage to try and talk to Bucky. He had just finished training, so you knew exactly where he'd be: in the kitchen.
Walking in, you were glad to see him pulling ingredients from the fridge.
"Hey Bucky, can I, um, talk to you for a minute?" You stuttered through the words, nervous about what he would say.
He barely looked at you, nodding his head for you to continue.
"I just, I wanted to apologize." You trailed off when his head snapped up.
"For what?" Well shit. How are you supposed to explain this one without ratting out Wanda.
"Oh, well, um... I just thought maybe I said- I did something that upset you. Uh, you just don't seem to like me very much, which is totally cool, you don't have to like me if you don't want to. I just didn't want it to be my fault... Fuck." That went horribly. Taking a deep breath, you started over. "I didn't mean it."
Bucky is looking at you like you have three heads. "Didn't mean what?"
"That I don't like violence."
"So you do... like violence." He'd somehow grown more confused.
"Well, no." You paused, unsure of how to explain yourself.
"Then you did mean it." His soul piercing stare is back.
"I-"
"It's fine, save it. Some people get to choose not to be violent." And with that, he left the kitchen, abandoning his post workout smoothie.
You stared at the doorway, in shock over how poorly that went. You stood there , unaware of the 25 minutes that had passed, trying to figure out how it could've gone better when Steve found you.
"Y/N? What are you doing?"
You didn't hear him, too lost in the memories. Memories of Hydra, forcing you to do things you never wanted to. This happened from time to time if something triggered you into remembering, otherwise you had a handle on your emotions.
"Y/N?" Steve said your name again, concern evident in his voice. He gently laid a hand on your shoulder, trying to get your attention.
Everything happened so fast after that. The feeling of someone's hand on your shoulder caused you to panic. With all the memories of Hydra in your head, your training kicked in instinctually.
You grabbed Steve's arm, pulling him closer to you for better leverage. Before he could question your moves, you flipped him, pinning him to the ground.
The second you made eye contact, you realized what just happened. Horror and regret flashed in your eyes.
In an effort to get off him, you threw yourself backward, knocking into a cart full of pots and pans. The clanging of metal hitting the ground echoed through the small room.
Steve sat up slowly, trying to register the turn of events. You sat in a ball on the floor, tears pooling in your eyes, mumbling apologies over and over again.
Sam, having heard the commotion from the pots and pans, ran into the kitchen ready to fight.
"What- What happened?" He asked in confusion, lowering his arms from their defensive position.
"I don't know." Steve looked at you, still trying to figure it out.
"Y/N?" Sam's voice was gentle, but it still startled you.
You jumped from the ground, rushing to help Steve get up. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. I never wanted to hurt anyone again." Your breathing was picking up, short bursts of air leaving your lungs. Your hands were shaking as you pulled him from the ground.
Your panic increased as you took in their concerned expressions.
"Hey, look at me." Steve's Captain voice, came out, urging you to make eye contact. You followed orders, breathing rapidly, your whole body shaking.
"I'm going to touch you now, is that okay?" His words were gentle, but commanding, causing you to nod in response.
He pulled you into a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back.
You wanted to explain, to tell them what happened, but all that came out was a pitiful "Bucky".
"Do you want me to get Bucky?" Sam asked, trying to understand you.
The idea of Bucky coming back caused your panic to increase. You shook your head rapidly, "No! No no no no no." You kept repeating the word, shaking in Steve's arms.
"Okay! Okay, no Bucky." Sam reassured you, voice calm and soothing.
You’re not sure how long you stood like that. Sam moved around the kitchen, cleaning up the pots and pans you had knocked over.
When your breathing steadied, Steve asked, "Do you want to talk about what happened?"
You nodded, leading the two men to the couch in the adjacent common area. You sat for a minute, unsure of where to start.
"Why don't you just lead us through it all?" Steve suggested, still rubbing your back.
You nodded, grateful for the starting point. "I went to the kitchen to apologize to Bucky."
"What for?" Sam interrupted, already confused.
"Sam! Just let her talk." Steve muttered, slightly annoyed.
"Sorry!" He glared back at Steve before turning to you, "Sorry, please continue."
You couldn't help but laugh at their banter.
"Right, I wanted to apologize for what I said the first day I met you all. I realized how it sounded, so I wanted to try and fix it." You paused, waiting for the recognition to hit them.
It didn't take long. The two men nodded, silently urging you to continue.
"Honestly, Wanda told me that was why he always seems mad at me. You have to know, I never meant for it to come across that way! It's more of a personal, 'I don't want to be violent' than shunning others for doing what's necessary." You took a deep breath, not eager to relive the conversation.
"Anyway, I told him I didn't mean it. I just couldn't explain it right, and he got upset, which makes sense!" You turned to look between them, not wanting them to think you were insulting Bucky in any way. "I don't hold what he did against him. It wasn't his choice, and I completely understand that. I just couldn't put that into words when I was talking to him, and I made everything worse."
Tears popped into your eyes again, upset at what he must be going through. You weren't with Hydra for but a tenth of the time he was, and you didn't endure the same level of brainwashing.
"He said something about some people not being able to choose not to be violent, and then he left. I don't know how long I was standing in the kitchen replaying the conversation, but it brought up bad memories for me." You sighed again, working up the nerve to tell them everything.
"Wanda and Nat already know, but I guess it's your guys's turn. This was so much easier to just have Wanda read my mind." You laughed at your own joke, the two men sharing a concerned look.
"I was taken... by Hydra. They experimented on me, gave me enhanced senses, trained me to fight, and punished me when I did something wrong." Again, tears sprung into your eyes, occasionally falling down your cheeks.
"Why wasn't this in your file?" Steve questioned, more to himself than you.
"I haven't got a clue. I guess nobody knew about me? But, I escaped. They didn't brainwash me like they did Bucky, because I don't have the serum. Or, at least, I think that's why." You shook your head, refocusing on the important parts.
"When every available Hydra agent was tasked with searching for the Winter Soldier, I took it as on opportunity. Their resources were spread thin. I was able to getaway."
You went onto explain your reasoning for joining the Avengers as a tech specialist, trying to convey the same earnestness you did with Nat.
"You can ask Nat or Wanda too. Nat found out day one, Wanda a few days ago." You wiped your tears, hoping they believed you. "Actually, Peter knows too."
"I was stuck in all those memories when you came into the kitchen. I didn't even register that you were in the room, so when you touched me I freaked out. I never meant to hurt you!"
You looked at Steve fearful that he would be upset.
"Y/N, I believe you." You cried tears of relief at his statement, genuinely exhausted from the day. "It's not your fault, and you didn't hurt me. Just caught me off guard. You're surprisingly agile when you want to be." He tried to lighten the mood, glad to hear you laugh.
"Well, I train in the middle of the night sometimes. I- I want to be able to get out if I'm ever forced back there." Your voice was quiet, admitting a secret you hadn't even told Nat.
"We won't let that happen." The sternness of Sam's voice surprised you.
"Thank you." You wiped your tears a final time, looking between the two men. "Now, what do I do about Bucky?" You refocused your energy on fixing your relationship with the super soldier.
"He never would have said what he said if he had known." Steve started the conversation, defending his friend.
"I know. I don't hold it against him, I just wish I could explain. I get so nervous when he looks at me like that." You rambled, too tired to filter your thoughts.
"Like what?" Sam asked, eager for more information to tease Bucky with.
"Huh? Oh, I don't know. Like he can see into my soul." You deadpanned, earning a laugh from both men. "I just want him to like me." You nearly whined, upset by your poor relationship.
"Like you, huh?" Steve grinned. Nat and Wanda chose that exact moment to walk into the room, eagerly joining the conversation.
"Barnes? Did you tell him how you feel?" Wanda squealed with excitement.
You buried your head in your hands, avoiding the knowing looks the four of them were surely sharing. "Not exactly." You gestured to your head, hoping Wanda would figure it out and share with Nat.
"Ooh... It didn't go well, basically Barnes got upset, Y/N flipped Steve and had a panic attack, then told these two everything." Wanda explained to Nat quickly, trying not to make you relive it.
"We need a plan." Nat declared.
"No, I just need to learn how to have a conversation with the man." You rolled your eyes at yourself. "I'll try talking to him again." You went to leave the room, turning around to glare at them. "And none of you can say a word of this to Bucky."
-
Despite you request, Steve still tried to talk to Bucky.
"What's up with you?" Steve questioned, trying to subtly pry into Bucky's thoughts.
"Nothing. Why?" Bucky answered in a questioning tone, trying to figure out Steve's motives.
"I heard you talked to Y/N is all. How'd it go?" He gave up on the subtle approach pretty quickly, knowing Bucky wouldn't answer a question that wasn't asked.
"How did you even hear that, punk?" Bucky deflected.
"Not the point. Answer the question."
"Not great. I messed it up." Bucky sighed, annoyed at himself for barging out of the room. "She said wanted to apologize, that she didn't mean what she said." He ran his hands through his hair, struggling to explain where it all went wrong.
"Would've been fine if I could follow what she was saying. She was rambling about me not liking her, which you and I both know isn't true. Ugh, i've never been mad at her. I'm mad at myself! At Hydra for making me a monster! How could she ever like me if she doesn't like violence? My entire past is violent." He huffed, having worked himself up again.
"You're not a monster, Buck." Steve started gently.
"I know you think that." Steve gave him a pointed glare. "I know, okay? But what does she think?"
"Maybe you should try talking to her. You might be surprised by what you learn." Steve clapped him on the shoulder, trying to reassure him, before leaving the room.
-
Everytime you tried to talk to Bucky, something got in the way. The first time, he was called in for an emergency mission before you even got the word hello out.
The second time, Tony walked into the common area, completely oblivious to the tension, and put on a movie.
The third time, Steve and Nat interrupted you. You were just about to apologize again after an awkward greeting when the elevator doors opened. The sounds of the cheerful laughter and stolen kisses didn't really set the mood for confessing your past with Hydra.
The fourth, and final time, was the most embarrassing.
You walked into the room on a mission. You were going to talk to him, no matter who decided to walk in.
"Bucky, I really need to-" and you tripped on a toy Morgan left out, causing you to tumble to the ground. That would have been embarrassing enough, but there's more.
In your effort to get up, you tripped again, hitting your head on the coffee table, causing you to bleed profusely.
"Shit." You cursed yourself, holding your hand up to your bleeding forehead.
"Are you okay?" Bucky rushed to you from the other side of the table, concerned with the amount of blood spewing from your head.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Unfortunately, you chose that moment to jokingly reference your past.
Some of the people who tortured you had a sick sense of humor. Whenever they would hit you hard enough to make you bleed, they said something about only having one head. A play on words because of the greek serpent with multiple heads.
"Head wounds bleed a lot, I'm lucky I only have one." You froze instantly, unsure if he would have had a similar experience. Slowly, you looked up in an effort to make eye contact.
Bucky was also frozen in place. Clearly he understood the reference.
"Wh- where did you hear that?" Bucky struggled with his sentence, trying not to flashback to his time at Hydra.
"Oh my god. I'm so so sorry." You instantly started apologizing, trying to backtrack. "I really need to learn when to stop fucking talking." You said more to yourself than him.
"Where did you hear it?" He asked again, putting more power behind his words.
"Um, well, i've been trying to tell you for weeks now, but um, I also kind of, have, um, well, you see-"
"Just spit it out." There was the slightly miffed Bucky you were used to.
"I was taken. By Hydra. 9 years ago. Um, they forced me to learn how to fight. Tortured me if I did anything wrong. Forced me to do things..." You trailed off, realizing you didn't need to give him many details. He has first hand experience.
"Y/N, I-" You cut him off before he could say anything else.
"That's why I don't like using violence. I only know how to do that stuff because they made me learn it. I didn't want to use the skills they gave me." You took a deep, grounding breath.
"I don't blame you for anything you were forced to do. It wasn't your choice. You're not a violent person, and your past actions don't define who you are. You're here to help people. That's what you chose. That's who you are."
You made eye contact before you continued. "I've actually wanted to thank you for the longest time."
"For what?" He was incredulous, wildly caught off guard by everything you've said.
"The only reason I had an opportunity to escape was because 2 years ago, you escaped. If Hydra's resources hadn't been spread so thin trying to find you, I probably would've never got out. So thank you. For being strong enough to fight back."
You smiled at him, still unsure of how he was feeling.
"I... I'm so sorry." To say you were stunned was an understatement. What the hell could he have to be sorry about? Sure he was a little rude, but from your point of view he was completely justified in hating you.
"Bucky, you have no reason to be sorry. You didn't know, and I couldn't get out of my head enough to tell you. You just make me nervous." You clapped a hand over your mouth, shocked at having said what you just said.
You could see his face fall ever so slightly, causing you to jump back into your explanation.
"Not because I'm scared of you or anything! Hell, I could probably take you in a fight." You winked, trying to lighten the mood. It seemed to work, judging by the slight smirk on his face.
"I just, I've looked up to you for so long. Your determination to do good after everything you've been through is really inspiring. It's actually why I wanted to join the Avengers in the first place. I never would have-" You would have kept rambling if he hadn't stopped you.
"Y/N, I am sorry, and I do have reason to be. There's no excuse for what I said to you in the kitchen that day. Even if I didn't know, I threw everything you've been through back in your face. If someone had done that to me, I probably would have had a panic attack." He tried joking, but by the way you froze he could tell he struck a nerve.
"You had a panic attack? I'm so sorry! God, I just left you all alone and-"
It was your turn to cut him off. "Actually, I was kind of frozen in place until Steve touched me and I maybe threw him to the ground... Then I had a panic attack..." You smiled, trying to convey the joke. "So, I wasn't alone. Sam was actually also there. If anything, it made me better friends with both of them because I told them everything. So I have you to thank for that to." You playfully nudged his side.
He ran his hands through his hair, then down his face, clearly trying to deal with his own guilt.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it. You didn't know. It happened. We're good now, so we can move on." You smiled, trying to cheer him up.
"How are you so relaxed about all of this? You were tortured for years... I..." He was genuinely curious, trying to find a way to cope with his own pain.
"Well, even before that I always thought therapy could be helpful for me, so I really jumped in full force when I was free. Plus, if you can't joke about something, you haven't really moved on. Some days are harder than others, but I just try to appreciate the people I have now and the good experiences I've been lead to." You kept the tone light, trying not to get too emotional.
He just stared at you for a few minutes, making you questions everything.
"I mean, it's totally different for you though! I was only there for 7 years, you were forced into all that for like 10 times as long. I didn't mean to belittle-"
"I think you inspire me just as much as you say I've inspired you." He cut you off again, a small smile growing on your lips.
"Well, in the spirit of our newfound friendship, can I be totally honest?" You bit your lip, nervous about telling him the truth.
He looked nervous as well, but nodded anyway.
"I kind of, maybe, sort of have a crush on you." You watched his expression carefully, although there was really no need. His face easily gave away his surprise.
"You..." He stuttered, moving his fingers between the two of you. "Me? But, I was so mean!"
"What can I say, I saw through the facade... Well, really Wanda accidentally read your mind and told me why you were so upset around me when her and Nat teamed up to get me to tell you how I feel." You rambled again, realization dawning that you accidentally outed Wanda.
"But you can't tell her I told you that! She didn't mean to! She just said you think really loud sometimes and it's hard not to hear it! She did it to me too actually, I mean I told her she could look in my head so I wouldn't have to explain everything again, I know so lazy, and that's how she confirmed my crush on you." You said it all with wide eyes at a rapid speed, unable to control yourself around Bucky.
You slapped your hands over your mouth, forcing yourself to stop talking. Bucky looked on in amusement, slowly reaching to pull your hands away from your face.
"I won't tell her, if you get dinner with me tonight." He smiled cheekily, relishing in your blush.
"That's a deal I'm willing to make." You reached your arms around his neck, kissing his cheek before running to get ready.
***
Bonus:
Sam whined playfully as he looked at the high scores. "Whose username is 'God is a spoon' and how did they get so good at this game?"
He looked around the room, eying any suspicious candidates. Everyone denied it, throwing out accusations left and right.
It was another of Tony's team bonding nights and he chose VR games on the oculus. Obviously, Beat Saber was a top contender amongst the group.
You walked in with Bucky, unaware of the conversation going on, but immediately joining it.
"Peter! I bet it was him!" You playfully nudged the younger Avenger, having formed a close friendship in the early days. "What am I betting on?" Everyone laughed, happy to see you in a good mood after being so stressed for so long.
"Whose username is 'God is a spoon'." Sam chuckled after filling you in. You and Bucky settled on the couch, cuddling next to each other.
"Oh, that's me. Why?" You looked around curiously, trying to figure out what they wanted. "Is it a weird username? It was actually one of the catchphrase things in Just Dance on the switch, I didn't just think of it." You tried to justify yourself, causing more laughter.
"You?! How did you get all the highscores on this game? I thought you were the clumsy one."
You made an exaggerated face to show how offended you were, playfully swatting at Sam.
"I'll have you know, 7 years of Hydra 'training' and experimentation has its perks." You joked with the room. "One of them being I can beat your ass at pretty much any video game."
"Oh, you're so on." Sam smiled, glad he could joke around with you about it.
Meanwhile, Tony looked incredulously around the room, being the only one in the room who hadn't heard about your history, he was rightfully confused.
"I'm sorry, 7 years of WHAT?"
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