#still the worst class I’ve ever taken tho

[artbivch]

hee hee, accidentally tabbed out and lost the original chain I was following but found this bad boy by baeby-tc

1. describe your tc’s physical appearance.

As tall as me-ish, blonde, white but that slightly tanned white from going outside a lot.

2. What was the first thing you’ve ever said to your tc?

Probably “Here”

3. is your tc single or taken? or are you unsure? and are you single or taken?

Single afaik. I wish I was single sometimes, but I’m not about to break up with anyone for a crush

4. is your tc more of the athletic type, the nerdy type or the artsy type?

A little bit of all without being a lot of any. I know some nerd things about him, and he likes the outdoors, but he doesn’t seem to be super in shape and he’s not as artsy as some of the faculty—thank god

5. if you and your tc were in high school together, do you think you’d be friends?

Maybe? I’m pretty good at befriending randos who are lonely and introverted, but I have to be put in a class with them first. If we took art together then it’s possible.

6. name one song that reminds you of your tc and explain why that song reminds you of them.

Rufus Wainwright “The Art Teacher”

Need I say more?

7. is your tc fashionable or are they more of the simple type? what is one outfit you’d love to see them wear?

He wears plaid button downs with a t shirt underneath almost exclusively. I wish he’d wear more formal wear sometimes but

8. would you be willing to become a teacher and teach your tc’s subject if it meant you two could be together?

Oh absolutely, before the revenge of the crush on him, I was actually in a dual major program of art and education. I dropped the education part halfway through because I decided I don’t want to go straight into teaching when I graduate. I want to be able to explore the world and not be shackled back into the public school system right out of the gate. But also I would accept a TA position in a heartbeat

9. does your tc drink or smoke?

Don’t know about smoking or how much he drinks, but he had a beer or a cider of some sort once.

10. name one item that is always on your tc’s desk.

I haven’t seen his desk because the bastard’s never in his office, but he usually has a pencil behind his ear.

11. has your tc ever done anything that has either thrown you off, annoyed you, angered you or bothered you in any way? if so, what did they do?

He has absolutely no control over the students in the studio and what’s worse is the student he tends to hover over because he’s one of those annoying “oh I’ve never drawn before but I’m basically a prodigy out of nowhere” people. I’m not even mad at the guy for being a favorite I’m just annoyed at the fact he has the audacity to make some of the most photo realistic art within a few hours max and then leaves the studio a mess. I want to clobber this guy but I know I’d immediately get on the bad side of my tc.

The kid deserves my foot up his ass tho

12. does your tc have any past jobs that you know of, before becoming a teacher?

No clue. He doesn’t talk much without being prompted and I’m too anxious to pry out those details without being worried he’d immediately notice how desperate I am

13. does your tc have kids or siblings? if so, how many?

Pretty sure no to kids, but yes to siblings? I think he has a brother.

14. are you taking your tc’s class next year?

Yep! He’ll be my teacher for the full year and I’m gonna try to slip into his summer course post-graduation

15. has your tc ever met your parents? if you were there, what was the meeting like?

Nope and unless fantasy casually breaks into reality, hopefully he never will.

16. has your tc ever given you detention? if so, what was it like?

no but he did once tell me I was using too much of the cleaner undiluted and four months later I still feel bad about it because it espensive ;-;

17. has your tc ever failed you? if so, how did you react? if not, how would you react?

This feels a little dramatic, I think the worst it’s been is I had to wait an hour and a half for him to show up in a van so I could get my camping supplies out.

18. what are your tc’s hobbies/interests? are they similar to yours?

He seems to enjoy physical arts (he made a comment once about why do digital art when you’ve got a pen and paper lmao), which I’m more of a fan of too. He also seems to be outdoorsy and a fan of nature, which I tend to admire from afar. But also I’m not one to hike alone so I don’t know if I’d be more into it with someone

19. have you ever spoken on the phone with your tc? what did you talk about?

no but I harassed him for taking his sweet time when he told me I had to rush to the meeting site if I wanted my camping stuff back

20. if you had your tc’s class during quarantine, what were your zoom calls like? if not, have you spoken to your tc since quarantine?

I didn’t have him during quarantine, but I’ve been in a group zoom call with him. A second teacher led pretty much all of the discussion and he just sorta stared at things behind the screen like a squirrel

21. if you had the chance to go anywhere in the world with your tc, where would you go? what would you do?

We talkin fantasy or somewhat reality? Fantasy we goin’ to some cool foreign city and banging. Reality, I think I’d just like to go on another camping trip, except this time with maybe a few less people

22. does your tc have any nicknames for you?

No but he used to use my high school nickname because he thought it was funny when I told him. When he remembered the nickname (because there was a three year hiatus where I didn’t have him we’d just sometimes run into each other) he laughed at it again. It’s a pretty fun nickname lol

23. have you ever cried in front of your tc? why? how did they react?

No which is surprising because I cried today after seeing a really cute bee video

24. have you ever walked/drove to/from school with your tc?

No but I’ve recently learned we live within a few blocks of each other so *fingers crossed*

25. do you know which teachers your tc is friends with at school? if so, do you like those teachers?

I’ve seen him interact with some teachers and I know he’s friends with one that although I haven’t had him he seems rad. The other teachers are ones that are either pretty okay or ones that my friends have had and either 100% hated/loved with no in between. So that’s interesting. He seemed to idolize the teacher who was the old head of the department he shifted to like I did so we have that in common (although I had the privilege of learning under the old teacher for a couple years which was dope)

26. what does your tc’s voice sound like?

A little raspy. Not like smoker raspy, just like, aged.

27. do you like your tc as a teacher? are they a good teacher?

He’s not the most influential teacher I’ve had, but I really enjoy his style and methods. Plus he genuinely cares about the students even though he’s too introverted to show it most of the time.

28. does your tc prefer books, shows or movies?

Don’t know, he seems like a book guy and older media person

29. is your tc stern or easy going, in class?

Easy going to a fault. It’s great until people take advantage of it.

30. how would you describe you and your tc’s relationship?

Friendly, hopefully maybe even peers to an extent when I graduate? I’m super bad at keeping in touch so it’d rely on me involving myself in the community more and hoping we run into each other oops

31. do you address your tc by their first or last name?

First name, but everyone calls him by that

[libidomechanica]

To whom I love

A rispetto sequence

               1

Hath but one that Horace has nought seem’d made them to guess, at least with a gentlemen must yield ye, whose eyes; amaze of hazel eyes double while and class; while other’s mind has the mind. Or newer still close inquiry; from men even more circled Iris of all passions the breaking of my days on ever lost; at last she to move me, which their lives fail. To whom I love?

               2

I’ll wed a fair, the gate, or taint-worm to some slight voyage touch I yielded in laurel: her solid aim be diseased ere his patient, a great lords a things could be my delighter tragedy. As every talent the group of murder’s rattles, are the fall, sultan’s breath? And thus for me. A poet to move and in earth, whose small men rate it. Thus could have been a cousin?

               3

If fond of bloody diuretic. Phoebus reply. Thicket flank’d; while still obey, ’ he said Juan: should knows what birds in Cashmire had lovely, lordly creatures; it worst of the terrible! As day was the clicking herds that bloom misted like to know what thou are as long, up in time to love transparents’ bones within our eyes were delivers tarry, ’ and liver, he still come.

               4

View, so radiant of some excuses; just now was drowned to the casualty, nor are meant, as a Pythones station—they were in my bride, t would tend our sobbing; a since I was the bargain closed; there’s nothing whirls the foe defied; But what is theft, in a thousand yet i’ve set her, who could not from me: I gazed on his the yellow-creatures. While him whom she might me.

               5

So radiant face, that a precious evidently, but sat downward lie, beneath their choice. Dissolves, none could distance, my own, my sweeping image of field. And he whole soul like the loud may add,—her years, like churchyard shown lucus a non lucendo, ’ not world of cups with rain is one increased in one; This I sing, by which grow ugly; for women’s feeling? Like a blind those orbs.

               6

And the colour it had been strive was, thy fires. Which shone so brightest wines, and even by Maud, she was taken—whether gulbeyaz’ angry ladies are litigious upon days outward soul of their strange or our appetite. This Russ retire a lion’s present appeared the called mine eye is iron shuts amain, and that where he was given in the garb, the Eastern star.

               7

Muses, one summer head most shall stately wrong— unless man! Clutched or seldom are, if all his gust of flying bandage were, if e’er, but Baba stopp’d again, just not less it should distress, an old hexameters; corruption is t, but still this power abuse the caverns of Eden lying sweet, with your rayes! Juan a man was round; you scarce seemed them with Christian thunder.

               8

—Neither knowledge or such a fact she was the people of the past, through a clouds began to claim his own folly! Made a fan, and thy yoke, that o’er his name in babble of whom it sound! Was to all to lick a human blood the chewed they her sex nor a thousand prosper. The day fled, besides, foresaid Baba; while I am with equal arming Mary Montagu.

               9

—As these men may draws its way to Marmora with our love. The matron’s bride: with thee happy! Sister came; though her chairs, and ten they grew dumb, for a moments of being lethargy, then returns aside; but you may look’d out above all withered with a mute observe the love, tho’ I slew the rim. Their ray was the fragments of Netherlands obey—our heart’s dew of past rest.

               10

’ Replied, are your promise that each faces. Their nursery, saw how my oat proceed to, this a little. With praise that was, as if to clothed in pride another injury more keen, were than pair than a moment: thou learnt his dazzling field or river man, what he is none: ’tis the sunk down from the trode. How; and our sweet bridal hours! Incapable of those secret bowers?

               11

My heart droop the true law of a year. But when it by which made her paramour. We vanquish’d they gave its utmost my hat anybody should have been—down the glass of times call, althought: soothers of her name; i’ll clearer, farther girls, like to her, give her what shall reason I’m not lead to her, kingdom or compare: they grew a female dress did not tarry and still again.

               12

The lake that this followed: they escape of her sad forlorn, we drove the prophetic eye of all alone, thought, when they hit off a thousands,— sometimes each otherwise with a higher by despatch: I knew mankind. But this children near, touch’d by the long locks, many a shriek rings the stranger’s an almost men and point, where her for love it, to corps, and then she dreadful woman.

               13

That which it cannon’s rise; thus in very hand, shoulder, grows dim and a maiden, not Jove himself have not proved; and, into the death in the cloud, to the bargains to give me. This savage; and stranger though they slander foot outrageous appear’d—the golden atoms moved to gaze as curving skies, breadths of saddens more spotless fates, and the mild whence didst the lake to have plunder’d!

               14

An old gun-barrel. Them that were to kneel, and watchword till to live when five, on bayonets pierces and die. Thus in wild. Lay on the main pointed Grove, a noble palace found on the bled: and yet the Turkish Dandy. Except in her safety, thoughts dally with one the antipodes of travell’d back a bachelor now and though rather times; no, not weight on both to South.

               15

All the art I set the prince then his veins; the other. Lie, all links would not blind; which maxim wherefore thrice told that could pen you could hear me, pardon might him even to the West, the history mentions, and looked at the light loathe through her pains my hearts on her bloody. Then stept a rainbows of Death’s valleys, groves the way to tutors are alive; if to veil or stupid heart.

               16

I hear of some better to hide, lie down; my late the bride her times make me were kill’d with his spirits: yet very things—I sought good, he puff’d his brace your own! And I, though perhaps might brow a little whisper’d by and severe, sublime; the other people’s ancestors are like chastely leave myself, my burden light; poor weakling every fair; her brows, soft kind? Because it?

               17

And serious grenadiers, torches, jewel set in all: then—all good appetite. For I will answer braiding to hold. Stood among the unhappy day, by a crime; the footage to kiss. Dwarfs, the time and then she laid a feelings, will dislike the voice hiss. And by; and himself; her spicy nest; for Lycius! Could glide o’er thy fingers. And so stray troops through glittering like Thames.

               18

Emperors are fullnesse of a year, I walked with all silent class the further column yet I must go they were near it, ye are crowned with flowers; ’ except staring a little ways. Yet, as Juan said. That lies thrown even men, her more than seed to to sea. Done, mere Christian! And contrived themselves, one beside the age when the brought, and with his very hair, and pawed his own part.

               19

Inside another; but o’er his path of tasted, the vulgar this sound! The Sultan’s breast in white, had seen you neither while life may you, if you could comet! I was a matters presents thy mamie, shall ceaseless, except to wear which the puddled as from majesty should pleased us down, motion.—All was able, I hear histories of despatch; a sentimental friend’s Muse?

               20

Has been said. Upon me, which the mortal stuff which, if I saw them fit for one room close—My dream. What it had boughs more press’d beyond its king, wheresoe’er third was with comes, but he wise men may end in the mob at last from him keep so choose to go against the glassy dark grey of most should, rustle thought flash’d gainst thou art left side dishes of either within my heart, and brought?

               21

In bed she was, and various, she look’d to— But what dost the woodbine, which profit! And to commonplace for ever being a Gazette— which the mind, in search of clothes: yet died of the women for their rifle breasts I drew near to make a little heart with exempt—truly, waking, you scarce evening innocent, wherefore many-winters. Compounds of one loved us.

               22

To hideous river as dead in hill ran up his not to all the cup: if it wears today of painful blind old khan, without the wailing truth at once and terrible array’d the Russians had got: to feel myself, for him came Psyche thing. Which show’d what we don’t knows how the rain, which came as if nurse a blood of devil got we in? One with convenience whose honour.

               23

’ She was no redeeming wonderful with thy large eyes! The citizens’ applause or fire flash to her, ineffably, legitimate hear that from aught she, you don’t; because to some grace, the lakers, in honourable roses. For where might make: twas found nought was in the death in a Sea of yce: yet, except cold wears; fame is nourish languid smile, and the boat be reader!

               24

And nothing—for him came Psyche, Lady Booby, phaedra, and now and whereas, if you crazy. She answer made an enormous slumber with indues its veil a nobler could be a base Bezonian’ as Pistol calls in the Danube’s flow so much; such the parch they with choisest word Miltonic mean time, from his den. Quick was pricked offenders by thy infinity.

               25

’ Pray, who with what was dusk as India and Juan. Turn that astronomers agreed to to see one pull; fair-lined in our mind; the sky! Where it not a strife: he broke my hot desired, there is a breeze of which the corps, when once who sate ne’er had held up, carelessly array; perhaps we say for life and feet, tis quite disappointed feature, transplanted for, with but few.

               26

Seeking back to thy great Nemesis break was true needs bear it, ye Muse some mystified, as do twine and plunder, midst of fear, open’d in a dreamed how his was fair Gulbeyaz rose weeps: sdeath! With the child? My poor, which wears; tomorrow by this over and each peal on peal, o’er they reach, for any; nay, you shall down, took amiss. Just as here! The nations; no scandals made an end!

               27

She love-begotten, and one that he four. A pet-lamb in a palace of rum. As thus, by day by day, and admiring all the dark how, possession, as oaks blow for my birth their Eastern clime? Occur, tho’ in her nation, any phase of Gold when golden bourn, all columns drown’d, till the could he, then, after trees that beats an European without friend and let me go.

               28

Of love sells the dead and fall one soft words are laid then and glittering out. She spake and where your long slumber hover’d, Baba found of moist vows denied, sleep’st by readers had better ears were shall break the playing fire. And here Jove doth lips my limbs and rushed they list investigation, take the victory were blacker than short their measures, Heaven; and powerful topic die.

               29

All feeling, the first look on his love, it seem’d rather long as it not that have kept her spirits low, and they nature will we wounds! At least so whence her hair, and then a slight on both my full on Locksley Hall, there in the order’d it; but where, trammels freed from my breast. And of gold, of beauteous, even now, and that shake the ear far arose of heaven and chaste me the viands.

               30

So superfluously bland, hard by yon streams would be not a joy,—and charms: one perchant girl! If to climb; then, Sir, from their love her rising you by how fully flash’d gainst another’s eyes were let go. Young women with hollow him for instance, with large, along the rose with the made a home of war and the larger wove in volleys, groves; Olympus highness did we heard of mine.

               31

The splendour, so remember loveliness quite in vast a haunted. ’ And foul dreams should disting breast wears to the found his jest all conversing loses in disclosure; but the frost to ask his might have made it a little heads, that daily press’d, like a stagnant at my home. I said, I stagger in Thee vain and for the forms a great good to all the clang an earth should do?

               32

Because your world exactly follow, Johnson and as my great joys, Civilisation on more they see no more or less matter his gore. From fifty for blow, bugle; and be free! I say not in long by thy worke my lovely Odalisques, I cannot raised them Mars, bellona, when the snow or field made their hand with a wild echoed he; no Indes such occasion.

               33

In detail o that shall strip your visions in my brain, as if just as oars could not admirable; for, with your great press’d, his first thro’ all my zenith, she felt the Gods, which hesitation, knowledge aught mellowing Christian nun, with the live—and wears even by the revel; and I, having no equal conceals it. I wish theories, when I ask thee this a litter’d not.

               34

All the foremost in Heaven knows they raised, but he had but let us better to be called mine I knew no more awkward the sky. No common fury without the inner has made he than Southey! One of sweet milk that by the appealed to gently meditate upon a fray, and duty duty, kiss would ne’er meant to reclaim her wounded, that so fast and smooth as free!

               35

He doubt, in prison to upbraid: so let us rock. And she wept a buxom hostess fortune plainly aged—what’s our blood, till to hold you love of those tall as tall as version has gentle palace! But what I would find it not love’s going; but too simply human fears; and the transpire, nor God’s daughter hells, it can bind to thoughts to nourishing but to be blame?

               36

’ Taciturn off to the room another’s head. I shall have strife: he mutter’d crow or doves, which light fancy yet. All this thankles glanced the start. To one or tendency is the column order of war to come never shall not have been pure, with life—he was! Too slight and requisite apartment, when I asked, which light of I’ll try to march most tolerant bosom dies.

               37

’Tis not toss and where’er theories, cities like a beauty was brought: had my friend Don Juanna by the same clime? Had I lain forts of the balancing bank: to no mistakes, to whose monstrances, and here we are but vulgar temper? And then a second moon may find your company; not the death, and glitter’d forth creepe; since when an evening in me, that his Highness’s physics!

               38

Time does not the children dies, the spirit down a slight shared by common hate with the where theme; as a languor, surrender’d upon the woman is only fires. But I grow good; life’s tongue can should fain was fond hall, which came ye muffled rose! At they came, they treasure, that I would enroll the edge like a prince. Glares at Bender. There was dotted with first, time heavy golden fruits.

               39

It be gone and bid them apes of Time, and turned over head of thy breaks the margin, made of fireworks, a last nine or the fish no worser far, there sows, and their thou hast thought us, as they could be monopoly—the hearts and blind Fury without, or dream here burns, seeing white and required by Sallust in one that can be there is blows the seemly raiment our lives fail.

               40

His fury from the beard, lie round there these lands of blame for whom it sounds fled, being rain; I want to all the muffled her whims, had never wanted with ceremony ended brethren their ray was to struggle, transient traitor, there and the years. Before me to this Baba made moaning pass; thou may enquire if any saints. People are clerks, the youth! Like David, flint!

               41

The two hosts that them Mars, bellona, who can proper way back them aside, the garb which evenings settled as an awful, sure, which can tell their love. Imagine, had pastures betters play it, yourself, if judge, the whole charts less in a much about was turn’d there they fellow! The man I loved, ’ call’d her though of thirty: have borne aloft, the grave sons like to the rest. The scarce trode.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #106 texts #rispetto sequence

[thebeautyoffanfics]

Idk if you already made this but Hanako, Kou and mitsuba jealous Hcs with their girlfriend that is quite popular among the students pls? thank u!!

hanako x f!reader, kou minamoto x f!reader, mitsuba sousuke x f!reader

a/n: sure thing!! No worries, I haven’t made it yet :D you’re so very welcome, and thank you so much for requesting!! I love jealousy headcanons tho I don’t think I’ve ever written them? I hope these turn out alright, and I’m so sorry for the time this took!

warnings: jealousy?

word count: 1,936

Hanako <3

Oh boy- can I do anything but wish you luck?

Hanako is already a fairly clingy and jealous guy, that’s practically canon. He’ll stand between you when you’re talking to anyone, and I mean aaaaanyone. He just can’t risk losing you!

(It’s got a whole lot to do with his insecurities, of course- while he wouldn’t admit it, not wanting to drop his “ah? I’m just an innocent little boy, free of issues and perverted thoughts <3” attitude, he does struggle a lot. He’s a ghost, a murderer, and imperfect in more ways than those. You’re popular for a reason. You’re so pretty, so kind, so lovable- you’re alive, and probably have morals. What are you doing with a dead murderer?)

Wow, ANYWAY- we’re here for jealousy, not Hanako’s issues, though they will probably resurface shortly.

Seeing everyone around you… always wanting your attention, always complimenting you…

You deserved it! He thought all of those positive things and more-! But… at this point, so many people admiring you, why were you still with him?

Even if you explain to him constantly that you love him dearly, and wouldn’t leave him for anyone else, he still gets somewhat possessive. Eventually putting the “but why does (Y/N) still love me,,” aside, he just wants others to keep their hands off you :((

It’s no fault of yours, and he acknowledges that! But it’s the fault of others getting so close to you >:((

Though they can’t see him, when people go up to you, talking joyfully- he’s standing there, arms wrapped around you, head on your shoulder as he glares daggers into their souls.

BRO IF SOMEONE FLIRTS WITH YOU OR TOUCHES YOU??

You’ve never seen him super angry, much less murderous. He doesn’t want you to see him that angry normally- but holy moley is he about ready to beat someone.

Yet, he’s still just a ghost- plus if he did something Teru would exorcise him, booooo. So, he settles for continuing to glare, standing between the two of you, hitting their arm if it’s resting on your shoulder. Once again, they’re completely unaware of it, but you aren’t!

“Hanako, you know I won’t leave you for them. They’re a classmate, I barely know them, really.”

“But they want to know you. And I don’t want them to know you… they’re gonna try and take you from me, (Y/N)!”

“I won’t let them take me, you big dummy. So, if you could please let go of me so I can get back to class?”

“No :((“

Not only does he cling to you, of course- though he hugs you bunches and squishes your face just because you’re cute- you can also expect a lot of kisses. Ranging from quick “hey, I’m here, and please don’t choose someone else over me”, “hey, my kisses are better than theirs!! Here’s proof!”, “you’re my girlfriend, not theirs, and if they keep treating you like you aren’t taking I’m going to stabby stabby (but I can’t stab cos Teru’s here, but I would if it wasn’t upsetting)”, etc, etc. It’s… almost strange how easy it is to understand what he means from the way he kisses you- but, I digress!

Overall, he gets jealous fairly easily, and gets very clingy when jealous. He’s not amazing with words, so he wants to show you that he loves you with actions!! However, those actions, more often than not, end up just being… clinging to you, and glaring at people who try to get too close to you.

(RIP Akane, Kou, and Nene for bearing witness to you walking around the school with a visibly angry Hanako. Though the worst the others get is the feeling that someone is staring at them, they get to witness his jealousy from off to the side.)

Kou Minamoto <3

He’s nearly completely opposite from Hanako, actually! He doesn’t get jealous very often, trusting you to actually tell him if something were wrong in the relationship. And, when he does get jealous, he does his best to not show it.

He’s not fond of being jealous. It makes him feel like he’s betraying you…? Like him being jealous is the same as him saying that he doesn’t trust you. But, similarly to Hanako, he trusts you. He just doesn’t trust others quite as much. Not with his very cute and very pretty and very sweet girlfriend :((

While it takes a lot to get him jealous, two things that really can make his temper cut short are (similarly to Hanako) when someone outright flirts or touches you. Especially if they touch you and the two of you aren’t at least friends-

If someone flirts, he’s going to casually slip into the conversation, if he wasn’t there already. A quick “hey, (Y/N)! Wait, sorry, I didn’t realize you were talking-“, then he’ll stand next to you, grabbing your hand lightly. One thing about Kou is, he does his best to be gentle all the time! Even when he’s jealous, he’d never ever hurt you intentionally-!!

If someone’s touching you, he’ll hop into the conversation as he does when someone flirts, adding a “I need your help with something, when you can.” This time, or any time really, if you’re uncomfortable you can use it as an excuse to get away!! Kou’s got your back!!!

If it’s been a day where people just constantly seem to be needing your attention, he’ll start to let his jealousy get to him a bit. It’s not even that some people like your attention- heck, he gets it! He likes having your attention as well. It’s more that… they constantly need your attention. Someone always needing something, even when he just wanted to have a conversation with you :((

In that case, he’ll be slightly clingy, and slightly pouty. Almost like a young child. His lips will be pouted slightly, eyes looking a bit lower to the ground than usual. His hand will be secured in yours, and your shoulder will be lightly pressed against his.

“Kouuu, tell me what’s wrong~,” You spoke, poking his cheek with your index finger. When he was like this, it was easy to tell he was embarrassed about whatever he was pouting over, and not upset over something too serious. It was the perfect time to mess with him.

His face would flush as it usually did- and he’d look away, pouting a bit harder as his eyebrows furrowed slightly. “It’s nothing, (Y/N), really.”

“You’re pouting. Come on, now, you really can tell me. I promise I won’t think of you any less!”

“…it’s just… well- well, seeing all those people around you all day, and I couldn’t really… even get to talk to you. You even had to leave early during lunch-! I’m not angry or anything- it’s dumb, it’s dumb, really-“

“Awwwwh, Kou! Don’t be jealous, sweetheart! It’s not dumb, I actually find it sweet. You know I’d choose you over any of those people. I’d much rather spend time with you than them, but it’s not exactly easy to say no… but, if it makes you feel bad, I’ll make sure they know that, at least, lunch is off-limits.”

“Y-you don’t have to, but… that’s up to you.” (AKA “I want you to, but I don’t want you to feel obligated to do something just for my sake.”)

Overall! Kou’s going to be a sweetheart, even when (not very often) jealous. He doesn’t want you to think he’s silly or not trusting of you when he does get jealous- so he does his best to hide it? Still, he fails, since he can’t help but want to be at least a little closer to you!! Plus the way he pouts- he’s easily read in most situations, and that type is no different.

Mitsuba Sousuke <3

Ahh, where to begin… I suppose the same way I’ve been beginning the other two-

Mitsuba is… a complicated jealous boy? He gets jealous rather easily- and… doesn’t admit it, but makes it painfully obvious. He thinks he isn’t being obvious, but it’s practically plain as daylight.

As he does all things, he masks his jealousy in insults at first! Making his way into whatever conversation or interaction your having, offering an ‘uninterested’ “what’re you doing?” After that, he criticizes every little thing the other person does- his levels of mercy depending on how much the person deserves it.

A quick question? Minimum amount of insults. Maybe one, two if they drag it out.

Just having a normal conversation? More than a short question, but not an excessive amount. If they drag it out too long, the insults go up.

Flirting? Lays the insults on THICK. Plus, after a moment, an annoyed and rather cocky sounding: “why haven’t you gotten lost already? Can’t you see I’m (Y/N)’s boyfriend? You idiot. Moron. Pervert. Who talks to a taken girl like that??”

Touches you? Doesn’t even happen. They reach for you, and he’s smacking their hand away. “Idiot. What right do you have to touch my girlfriend?? That’s invasive. Gross. You’re so weird, trying to put your sticky little hands on her.”

But! If it’s a situation he can’t interfere with, be it because he’s dead and the other person’s alive, or in which the people needing your attention goes on for too long- he enters Sulky Mitsuba Mode.

Don’t get me wrong, Sulky Mitsuba is still full of insults, just… sad. In those times, as a ghost, he can’t help but wonder if you’re content in the relationship. Look at you… popular with other students- other students who could leave the school, buy you things, and such. He was a cute ghost, but he was a ghost. He wasn’t even really Mitsuba- he wasn’t the classmate you once knew. How hard was it for you? Yet, you gave it your best to get to know him again-

Luckily, Mitsuba has the ability to tell himself “if (Y/N) did that much for me, she must at least care.” However, it won’t get rid of all his doubts- and he’ll still sulk once you finally catch up with him.

“Hey, Mitsuba! Sorry, I’ve been busy!”

“Mh? Have you? I’ve barely even noticed you were gone.”

Terrible acting skills, Mitsuba. He looks annoyed, his voice sounds uninterested, but… it’s still somehow easy to see through his little act. He’s jealous, and you’re bound to be aware of it.

Take a seat next to him, and he’ll scoot away. Be patient- when he’s jealous, it’s like approaching a stray cat. No sudden movements or you’ll scare him away!

“I’m sorry, Mitsuba. I know I’ve been caught up today, and I’m really sad that I haven’t seen you much until now. Did you have anything you wanted to do? I’m all yours now!”

“Tch, whatever. I don’t have anything I want to do, so just leave it be.”

Ah… do I even have to mention that he’s stubborn. Apologize a bit, he’ll dismissively forgive you, and go from there. Lighthearted conversation, asking him about his day, talking about yours- slowly move closer to him, and! Next thing you know, his heads on your shoulder as he rants about something that happened.

Overall, Mitsuba does get jealous rather easily! He’s stubborn as always, partnered with his insults constantly ready to be fired- it’s interesting when he gets jealous. He never outright admits that he trusts you, and doesn’t consider much more than “I’m feeling a bit jealous since this person keeps taking (Y/N)’s attention, but he’d never put the blame on you. Just… like I said, be patient, and don’t get too offended.

#once again. on phone so I’m sorry for funky formatting!! #anon #x reader #f!reader #x f!reader #tbhk #jshk #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #Hanako #kou minamoto #headcanons #mitsuba sousuke #tbhk x reader #jshk x reader #toilet bound hanako kun x reader #jibaku shounen hanako kun x reader #hanako kun x reader #Hanako x reader #kou minamoto x reader #mitsuba sousuke x reader #hanako headcanons #kou minamoto headcanons #mitsuba sousuke headcanons

[momoliee]

Hi....if you don't mind me asking, can I ask, who are your top 5 favorite TGCF characters? And why do you like them? Sorry if you've answered this question before....

Hi it’s totally fine!

[1. Mu Qing 2. Xie Lian 3. Pei Ming 4. Shi Qingxuan 5. He Xuan] [Honorary mentions : Hua Cheng and Quan Yizhen]

1. Mu Qing : born on the lower class side of an elitist, classist country, mu Qing had to work from a very young age to prove for his poor, sick mother. He’s had to endure the constant flaunting and bullying of the rich, endure being looked down upon and treated as dirt even tho those people weren’t much better than him in terms of cultivation or sword ability. Then he meets the crown prince and his body guard, and despite this guy being a filthy rich royalty, he still extends a kind hand, still treats him as an equal. It’s why for the first time, Mu Qing actually feels less, he feels inferior in terms of personality and wealth and capability and just, in terms of everything. Mu Qing then has to battle to incompatible emotions within him : jealousy and admiration. But mu Qing knows what’s right and what’s not, so he shoves the jealousy deep deep down cause Xie lian is his FRIEND, Xie lian is the guy who helped him. Yes they fall out, and it’s all mu qing’s fault for acting so cowardly, but not a day passes that he doesn’t spend it feeling guilty and horrible and hating his own existence for what he’s done. And when they meet again, he can’t confront him, can’t face him with what he’s done. So he acts like a little dick and picks on him. Helping him without telling anyone. You know, just being a tsundere. Their reconciliation is my favorite part, mu Qing admitting to all his thoughts and faults, and with all the vulnerability that he never allowed himself to ever expose, he reaches out a hand and asks to be his friend. Deep down hes a good guy, it’s just that he happens to be a prideful coward and an ass on the surface tho. (I can write a whole meta analysis on him but there are still 4 more characters so imma stop here)

2. Xie lian : I initially thought he was gonna be like, the stereotypical extremely nice and kind character who always smiles in the face or hardship and never complains. Basically the vanilla character that ive stopped liking a long long time ago. But he surprised me. Xie lian is an extremely three dimensional character who isn’t always kind or nice. Xie lian cries, complains, screams and yells, lashes out and WILL go full apeshit mode when hes driven to his limit. He will blame others for not seeing how hard he’s trying, but he will still continue to try anyway. He thought that kindness was the easiest choice to make, only to realize that kindness is the kind of choice that only matters when you still make it despite being UNABLE to afford making it. What does it mean to be rich and donate a small portion of your money compared to being poor and donating the only meal you managed to find to someone who is more in need. It’s why I love him. He’s a traumatized character through and through and him finally being allowed to heal is like a balm on my heart.

3. Pei ming : beloved manwhore, most precious slut of ours. The comic relief, hualian’s number one shipper and supporter and fan. Cleanest member of the heaven (besides fenqing). This man will have his fling then shower the woman with riches and make sure she’s well taken care of even if the sparks of desire have long since been extinguished. The most charming. Covering up for his friends no matter what. I just, I love him ok.

4. SQX : I’ve always found her/him extremely endearing and was always so so fond of him/her. She’s bubbly and kind and would always listen to you and never turn a deaf ear to a cry of help. But she wouldn’t complain, no matter what befell her she would take it without so much as a protest. The kind of friend everyone needs, especially Xie lian. The kind of sunshine energy that we all need some of tbh

5. He xuan : (this post is too long so im just shortening the metas bit by bit) extremely complex character, had everything taken from him, suffered some of the absolute worst trauma that he couldn’t recover from, and after being thoroughly emptied out, he filled himself up with revenge in order to keep going. Cause how else was he gonna keep going? Met someone who may or may not have made the years easier on him, only for said person to abandon him too. And after his revenge was complete, he went back to the initial emptiness, this pointlessness that dwells deep within him that he can’t get rid of. Idk I just find him very very tragic

Honorary mentions : Hua Cheng for obvious reasons and qyz because he’s the Goodest autistic boy who only ever wants to repay the people who were kind to him with 10x the kindness

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (chapter 1)

Chapter 1

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 2,426

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing... 

              Catalina gazed out of the window as the city flew by. Full Moon, by the Black Ghosts was playing on the radio. She wondered what her apartment was going to look like. She should have listened to her mom when she told Catalina to take a trip out here to set it up before school started, but she never found the time. She had been too busy saying her goodbyes to friends who didn’t care about her leaving.

               The taxi finally entered the small town of St. Briggs. The sky was dark and bleak; when Catalina pictured California, she didn’t imagine this. She was hoping to see a different environment, but it kind of looked just like Michigan. It would still be a change though. Hopefully a good change. This was one of the most highly recommended performing arts schools in the country and Catalina was looking forward to a fresh new chapter of her life.

               She was dropped off at her apartment building and the taxi driver asked if she wanted him to help her carry her bags up the stairs. She said no and hurried to pay him. Catalina somehow managed to drag her bags up the stairs on her own, breaking out in a sweat and making her twenty-year-old back hurt. The apartment was lightly furnished already, the bare furniture from the last student still there. So Catalina started unpacking her clothes, toiletries, and bedding. Once everything was unpacked, she looked around at her new living space. It was small, only three rooms: the bedroom, a tiny bathroom, and a kitchen connected to an empty living room. She’d have to get a couch, and maybe a TV. Or she could just save her money. Yeah, that sounded better. She would usually just watch Netflix on her laptop anyway.

               Speaking of her laptop, she pulled it out of her backpack and flopped onto her bare mattress, opening it up. Classes started in a week and she needed to review her schedule and figure out what materials she needed. Her dance class stared back at her from her schedule on the computer screen. She was most excited for that one.

               Catalina sent the schedule to her phone and then closed her laptop. She decided now was a good time to explore the campus, if only to check out the dance studio.

                 It was chilly here, the wind coming off the water brisk and wet. Her hair frizzed up and she mourned the fact that she only packed light clothes, expecting the typical California weather. She should have realized that Northern California would be pretty much the same as where she lived before in Michigan.

               Despite the gloomy weather, the campus was beautiful. It was bustling with students and their families, taking tours and lots of pictures in front of the old buildings. She glanced at the wrinkled campus map in her hands, which she had printed out back at home. The dance studio was closer to the back of the campus, so she trekked through all the freshman and found herself in an emptier part of campus. The buildings here were very old. Big willow trees grew between the buildings, their leafy curtains giving those spots a sense of privacy on the lawn. The dance studio was in a building that looked like it was a refurbished, converted old house. Catalina walked up to the porch and tried the door. It was unlocked.

               Inside the house, it was a bit more modern. There was a tiny lobby and then a hall where there were bathrooms. Then past that was the studio. The door was closed. Catalina reached for the doorknob but paused when she heard music coming from inside. The music stopped, then started again from a previous spot. It continued like this for several minutes, Catalina standing there listening to the same part of the song over and over. Finally, she decided to put whoever was inside out of their misery and she opened the door.

               The guy inside stumbled on the move he was practicing, startling and spinning around towards the door. His chest was heaving and he was sweating, staring at Catalina with wide eyes.

               “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said. The guy seemed to snap out of it and he went over to his phone, which was hooked up the speakers, to pause the song.

               “No, it’s okay,” he said. “I just wasn’t expecting anyone to come in here. Usually it’s pretty quiet in the dance hall when there aren’t classes.”

               “Well, I wouldn’t count on that today,” said Catalina. “There’s a million freshman and their entire families out there. It’s only a matter of time before they find you.”

               He giggled and said, “I forgot it was orientation day. My name is Jimin, by the way.”

               “I’m Catalina. This is a really pretty campus.”

               “Yeah, I guess,” said Jimin. He went over to his dance bag and pulled a towel out, wiping his face.

               “I guess?” asked Catalina.

               “I mean, I grew up here. Everything in this town is old,” he said.

               “Oh,” Catalina then realized that she had interrupted him in his practice. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I know how it is when you’re in the zone. I’ll get going-“

               “No, it’s okay! Honestly, I was about to pass out or something if I kept going,” said Jimin. “I just couldn’t get this one move, and it was driving me crazy…”

               “What was the move?” asked Catalina, stepping further into the studio. “Can you teach me?”

               “I mean… I don’t know if you can…”

               “Try me,” said Catalina. Jimin led her to the center of the floor, facing the mirror. He walked her through a complicated move, which led into a jump turn. He broke it down and Catalina followed, nailing it on the second try. Jimin then did it at full speed, perfectly.

               He turned to her with wide eyes.

               “That was the first time I did it right!” he cheered. Catalina clapped along with him.

               “Sometimes all it takes is breaking it down again,” said Catalina. Jimin narrowed his eyes.

               “So, you tricked me?” he asked in a playful tone.

               “Into getting the move right, sure,” Catalina grinned.

               “Well, thank you. You’re pretty good,” he said.

               “I’m majoring in dance, so I should hope so,” said Catalina. “I’ve only been doing it since I was four.”

               “You’re majoring in dance? Me too!” he said. “I’ve never seen you here though. Are you a freshman?”

               “Yeah, this is my first year here,” said Catalina. “I heard the dance program is really good.”

               “It is. It has a good variety too. I’m taking a hip hop class this semester. You should take it with me, if you have room in your schedule.”

               “I’ve been dancing ballet all my life, I don’t think I’d be very good at hip hop…” Catalina scratched the back of her head. Jimin shook his head.

               “No, that’s a myth! Teachers only say that about ballerinas who don’t care about learning other things. I’ve also been doing ballet my whole life but I’m learning a lot of new things here, and I really love it,” said Jimin.

               Catalina laughed and said, “I guess you’re right. I should…broaden my horizons, as my mother would say.”

                 Catalina left the studio that day with a new number in her phone and a more hopeful outlook on her upcoming journey through college.

                 The next week passed in a haze as Catalina readied herself for classes and thought about furnishing her apartment some more. She never did furnish it, but at least she made the bed and filled the fridge. She also got into the hip hop class with Jimin, which she was excited about. She was ready.

               Finally, the first day of classes came and Catalina woke up bright and early. She got dressed; she knew these first few days were going to be the only days she would bother with anything other than pajamas, so she actually made an effort to look cute. Her first class was French, which, honestly, was going to be torture. She needed to learn French to reach her ultimate goal, so it was a necessary evil. It sounded pretty, so maybe it wasn’t the worst language to learn.

               When she got to her French classroom, it was already pretty full. She found a few vacant seats in the back of the room, which she took. There was still one behind her, so she wasn’t actually all the way in the back. That was something her academic advisor had told her – don’t sit in the back. It was supposed to be a subconscious thing where the closer you sit to the front, the better you do in the class. Catalina didn’t know if that was actually true, but the front seats were all taken and she was used to sitting in the back, so here she was. Second to last row. It was a start.

               Catalina pulled out her notebook, a pen, and her phone. She had a text from her mom.

 Mom: Are you settled down okay at the apartment? How is campus? Did you make it to class okay this morning?

Cat: The apartment is good. Campus is pretty. I’m in class right now. Everything is going great. I even made a friend.

Mom: a friend?

Cat: yeah, he’s in the dance program too. We’re taking a hip hop class together.

Mom: This is great news! Is he cute?

               Just then, the professor walked in and introduced herself. Catalina let out the breath she was holding, glad she didn’t have to answer that. That was one of many reasons she was so excited to move across the country. Ever since she came out as bisexual, her mother had been trying her hardest to get Catalina a boyfriend. Sure, Jimin was plenty cute, but that’s not what Catalina was here for. She’d just really rather not talk about her love life, or lack thereof, with her mother.

               The professor mostly just went over introductions and the syllabus, which she passed out copies of to the class. Then she took attendance. A few names in and the door opened. A boy walked in, his eyes wide as he scanned the room for empty seats. He spotted the one behind Catalina and sped towards it. The professor eyed him.

               “I guess you came just in time, since I just started attendance. I do not take absences lightly in this class young man,” she said.

               “Sorry,” he mumbled. The professor grumbled and handed another syllabus to the person in the front row before continuing with roll call. When Catalina handed the packet back to him, she caught a glimpse of the new guy. He looked only half awake, his hair a mess, bags under his eyes and rumpled sweats. He didn’t have a backpack, only a notebook. Catalina winced in sympathy. He was going to have a hard time in this class. He reminded Catalina of herself in high school. She was a new woman now though. Things were going to be different in college.

               “Catalina Cruz” was called and she raised her hand in acknowledgement. The guy behind her answered to “Jeon Jungkook”. After class, Catalina turned around in her seat and smiled at Jungkook, who still looked frazzled.

               “First impressions are important,” she said.

               “Ugh, I know,” he moaned, sliding down in his seat. “I slept in…”

               “Yeah, she probably hates you,” said Catalina. “You’re doomed.”

               Jungkook covered his face. “Don’t say that!”

               Catalina laughed and said, “Dude, I’m kidding. You’ll be fine.”

               Jungkook let his hands fall. “I just think it’s stupid that I need a language class for my major.”

               “Everyone needs a language class. What are you majoring in?” asked Catalina.

               “Film. What about you?” he asked.

               “Dance,” she said. The two of them got up and made their way out of the classroom. “I came on a scholarship too, so I can’t really afford to fail any classes.”

               “Yeah, no scholarship for me, but my parents will have my head if I fail anything,” said Jungkook. “They’re paying out of pocket for me and my brother.”

               Catalina giggled. The two of them walked over to an empty patch of grass under a tree, where they sat. “Do you live on campus?” she asked.

               “Nah, my parent’s house is right around the block, I’m just gonna live with them until I graduate,” said Jungkook.

               Catalina hummed and nodded. “You’re lucky. I have an apartment that’s going to drain me. I can’t even afford furniture,” said Catalina. “Actually, I should probably try to find a job…”

               “Oh! My aunt owns a tourist shop up in the mountains and she needs weekend employees for tourist season,” said Jungkook.

               “Tourist season? Summer is almost over,” said Catalina.

               “There’s a big ski resort up there. It gets pretty busy once the snow comes,” said Jungkook. “You should take the job with me! It’ll be so fun, we can explore the mountains.”

               “Ehh, I don’t know how much mountain climbing I’ll be doing, but the job is kind of perfect,” said Catalina. “How far away is it? I don’t have a car.”

               “I mean, I have a car, but there’s also a hiking trail that gets you there, which I’ll probably be doing, cause’ it’s more fun,” he said. “It’s not that far, like, a few miles?”

               “A few miles? That’s far! That’s a long walk!” said Catalina.

               “Oh, come on! I backpacked for five days once, that’s about fifty miles. And I’ve heard stories about people who backpack for weeks,” said Jungkook.

               “Okay well, you may be super fit and sporty, but I’m not-“

               “What were you majoring in again? Dance?”

               Catalina shoved him. He fell over, laughing hard. Catalina scrunched her nose to contain her laughter. “Oh shut up! Okay, I get it. Hiking might be fun, but not every time,” she said.

               “No, I’ll totally drive us to work every now and then,” he said. “I’ll call my aunt tonight about the job. Here, give me your number so I can tell you what she says.”

               Catalina typed her number into Jungkook’s phone and then handed it back.

               “Anyway, I’d better get going. I don’t want to be late for another class,” said Jungkook. “I’ll text you.”

               He got up and walked away, waving. Catalina waved back. Two new friends. And they were both so much nicer and more genuine than her friends back in Michigan.

#bts #bts fanfction #kim namjoon #jeon jeongguk #jungkook #park jimin #jimin #kim taehyung #taehyung #jung hoseok #hobi #jhope #min yoongi #suga #kim seokjin #Jimmy K #captain kirk #vampire au #college au #romance #oc #I know I promised this for Christmas #but my life has been crazy lately #sorry its late #anyway this ones pretty good #crystalstar

[sometimes-i-write-4-you]

Hey, can I get a Steven Hyde x Reader who’s not used to affection please? Thank ya

Cause wow - Steven Hyde X reader

a\n: not tooooo sure this is what you wanted but there it is.

trigger warnings: weed mentioning

I was sitting in Eric’s basement with my friends. Well, i don’t know if i can call them my friends, since i’ve known them for such a short time. About a month ago I met Steven Hyde, and we clicked pretty quickly, and soon enough I was sort of a part of the gang. 

I reached my hand to the last Lay’s, hoping to successfully steal it. I hated how it got to this point, but my parents went away for work for the second time this month. Last time they were away for a whole week, and considering the fact we’re barely into the second week of the month, it says a lot - they don’t like me. They left some cash hidden around the house but it was for the house - water, electricity and barely enough for that. I mostly ate leftovers, improvised sandwiches and Petso Burger - i work there so i got a meal whenever i had a shift.

Another hand reached for the same bag of Lay’s, but I caught it first. “Hey, i was going to rightfully steal that!” the guy said. I looked at him. He had his shades on, even tho we were inside and his hair was curly. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. “Well, i was also going to rightfully steal it” i replied, half whispering, “so if you don’t mind…”. I started to walk away, but he was quick to follow. He grabbed my hand to slow me down and catched up quickly. “You don’t look like the type, aren’t you that goodie-two-shoes from History class?” he said, walking by me and looking around to find a snack. “Well, I don’t remember ever seeing you in history class” I said, putting the bag of chips in my bag. I still had some things I wanted to “get”. “Oh, it’s cause i never actually go. I’d walk up to the door from time to time, and then I’m like “neh” and go smoke in the Janitor’s room” He said. I didn’t have anything to say about it, so we kept 

walking in silence for a few moments. “You usually sit pretty close to the door, so i remember your face. You always read some book and everything is laid on the desk perfectly” he said, and I nodded. “Sounds like me” I said, grabbing a Milk carton. “So what brings you to, you know, commit a small crime?” he asked directly, grabbing chocolate pudding with a spoon stuck to it. He opened it right there in the middle of the store and started eating it. “I- uh, my parents are away and they didn’t leave money” i said, trying to make it far less bad, but he seemed to understand the real situation. For some reason, I feel like I can trust him with this, I mean, I can tell on him if he ever tries to use any of this against me. “Hand me everything you need, i’ll get it for you” he said. “I- what? Why would you do this? Do you just want the chips?” i asked, raising my eyebrow at him. He smiled. His smile was sweet and sincere. “No, but if you want to share it…” he said, “but it’s just that, uh, my dad left my mom and my mom left me, so i feel for you. But don’t tell anyone” he explained his act of kindness. “I have a job, i’ll return the money once i’ll have it” i promised as i handed him milk, bread, cereal, frozen hot dogs and of course the chips. “It’s okay man, my job pays real good” he said, “and come over to the Forman’s, i bet you need a proper meal and Kitty loves guests, hell, they let me live there” he laughed, grabbing a basket and putting all of my grouscaries in there. “I’m (y\n) (y\l\n)” I said, reaching my hand to shake his. “Steven Hyde” 

“Hey, (y\n), pass me the chips” Donna said, stretching her hand as far as she could to grab the Lay’s from my hands. I gave it to her. I sat next to Steven on the couch, Kelso next to me and Jackie in his lap. Fez sat on the chair next to Kelso and Donna across from him. Eric sat on the freezer, half upset (“it’s my house, why am i getting the worst seat?”), but he’ll get over it. Steven’s hand rested on the couch behind me, which was weird. We sat like that a lot, but it still made me feel weird. He was always nice to me, in his own sarcastic way. I like how he is around me, and according to his friends he is different when i’m not beside him.

“You make him better, so seriously, thank you” Donna said once. “Yeah, today i said your hot, and normally he would punch my face for talking about his girl like she’s a piece of meat but today, he punched my shoulder” Kelso contributed. “I’m not his girl” I said, grabbing a popsicle from the freezer. “Aren’t you two dating?” Donna asked, confused. “Well, in that case, hello there, (y\n)” Kelso said, running his hand through his hair. I laughed, “Kelso, the fact i’m not taken doesn’t change the fact you are” i said. “Doesn’t matter, i’m about to break up with Jackie anyways. “You said that last week” Donna said, as I sat down on the couch next to Kelso. He stretched and rested his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t” I glared at him and he moved his hand as I moved to the other edge of the couch.

“So, are you going to the dance? I could use a girl to shop for a dress with” Jackie said. “I thought we were going together, I’m a girl” Donna said, seemingly upset. She would never admit it, but Jackie is her best friend. “Yeah, but donna, you dress like a guy. No offence” Jackie said, and turned her face back to me, “so?”. “I’m not going, it’s not really my scene, you know?” i said. “No i don’t. Dances are everybody’s scene,  Even Steven is coming. You two can come together!” JAckie replied, resting her hands on my shoulders and shaking me excitedly. “I- yeah, whatever man, if you’re going i don’t mind being your date” Steven sighed. A shocked silence fell over the room.

A week later you had a dress for the Dance (sponsored by Jackie, who was quick to help once you explained you can’t really afford the dress she thought was perfect for you), and a date. You never thought this is going to happen to you. Steven always made you feel like maybe you are not alone, and maybe you are liked, and the gang was amazing. You sat in Donna’s living room with the girls, and you were waiting for the boys to arrive. A knock on the door. Donna went to open it and let the guys in.

“Wow” Steven muttered once he laid his eyes on me. I was wearing a (f\c) dress that was tight in the chest area and flared from the waist down. The high neckline kinda chocked me, but luckily enough it belonged to the chiffon “coat” so i could take it off at any time and reveal the (not too deep) v neckline of the dress. He was wearing a button up with an abstract print on it, which you were pretty sure you’ve never seen before. He wore a dark brown flared jeans to match the shade on his shirt, along with a black belt and a dark brown blazer-type jacket. His shoes were shiney, meaning he actually cleaned up. “You don’t look that bad yourself” I replied. “Wait, Steven. Is that a new shirt?” Jackie asked, but he was quick to deny. “I stole it from my dad” he said. “You don’t have a dad, you live at my house. Did you take it from MY dad?” Eric said, confusion in his eyes since Red would never wear something like this. “No, My dad left some things at the house when he ran off, I just never wore it” Steven made-up on the spot, but the truth is he went shopping with Kitty. I knew because she mentioned it next to me.

Once you all arrived at the gym court, Steven and I went to sit on the side. He was next to you, hand on your shoulder. You flinched. “Hey, (y\n), you okay?” he asked. Touch was weird for me, I’m used to getting Zero affection. “i - yeah, I’m great” I replied. “No, you always flinch when I touch you. If it makes you uncomfortable, just say so, I wouldn’t do it” He said, a little upset. “No, it doesn’t bother me, it’s the complete opposite, it’s just that i’m not used to.. Affection” i explained, “i flinch whenever Jackie hugs me, and i Flinch when Donna’s punching my shoulder when i successfully throw a ball, and i flinch when Eric’s giving me a high five…” i start listing, but Steven is quick to cut me off with a weird question, “may i have this dance?”. “Uh, yeah, i guess” i say, and he gets up and reaches his hand out. I take it hesitantly. Just as we get to the dance floor, showing off our awful moves, the Music get slower, and it’s no other then “I Love You More Than You’ll Ever Know” by Donny Hathaway. Steven took a step closer to me. “Steven-” I started, wanting to offer we’ll leave the dance floor. Slow dancing was not my thing, and as far as i know Steven was not a fan either. I flinched once his hands took mine and placed them on his shoulders. “I’m sorry” I whispered. “Hey, it’s totally fine” he said as he wrapped his hands around my waist. It was nice, and his touch burned my body in the best way possible. “You always call me steven, why’s that?” he asked, looking into my eyes, or at least that’s what i think he was doing since his sunglasses were on, per usual. “I don’t know, i just feel weird using nicknames” i replied, “kinda weird, i know, but i was never called by any name other than mine. Well, you refer to me as ‘man’ sometimes, but that’s just how you talk” i let out an awkward laugh. I kinda hated the fact he called me “man”, that ment i’m deep in the friend zone, But it was okay once I realized he calls everyone man that time he said “Kitty, man, pass me the salt”. “Even a boyfriend?” Steven asked, his tone suggested something, but i could not tell what. “Never had one” I answered. “So what, like, you never had your first kiss?” Steven asked, an annoying smile on his face. That was a sensitive spot. I don’t think he was aware of that. “Look, Steven, can we not talk about it?” I asked. I was just starting to get used to the situation and he was ruining this. “What, you don’t expect me to believe you’ve never kissed anyone” he insisted, kind-of laughing at the idea. “Well, i haven’t, can you just let it go?”  I said. “Do you want to?” Steven asked. “I guess? I don’t know Steven, i just can’t imagine anyone wanting to kiss me” i replied, giving up. “I want to kiss you” he said. I looked at him, confused. “(y\n), would you give me the honor of being your first kiss?” he asked, pulling me closer. “Steven, you don’t have to-” “did you hear me? I said i want to” he cuts me off. “I- yeah, sure, i would like that” i said, “what do i-”. Before i got the chance to finish that sentence, his lips were on mine, and somehow I just knew what to do. My hands moved from his shoulder to his jaw line, and my lips moved against his so easily, it felt like we were made for each other, or maybe it was just me. At that point I realised that a kiss can be so amazing it’s breathtaking. we pulled away for air,  and he rested his forehead on mine. “You sure you never kissed anyone?” he said, actual suspicion in his voice, “cause wow”.

#steven hyde #steven hyde x reader #that 70s show #that 70s show x reader #steven hyde imagine #steven hyde imagines

[aq-vetina]

ok i know people are doing this with their selfies, but since i didn’t really take any this year i figured i would change it up a little bit - 2020 as told by random photos on my phone. thank u @miss-me-jack for tagging me :^) 💕💕💕i tag (no pressure tho!): @keeper0fthestars @themoonshoes @sorrywars @eznova @nosiidam + anyone else who’d like to do it!

1. this was after my friend took me to see tros for my bday.... we went to target after and i was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the fabled Shopping Cart Shepherd. highlight of the night.

2.  this year’s harvest from my apricot tree

3. binary sunset inspired nail art that took me 3.5 hours to do. still trying to figure out what made me think doing a gel polish gradient on all 10 fingers would be a fun way to pass the time.

4. chickensitting for my neighbor

5. my cat. one of his favorite pastimes is keeping people company while they’re on the toilet, as he’s doing here.

6. i took my first english class since highschool in the spring. completely freaked out over the first assignment bc i thought i lost the ability to write during my gap year - thankfully those fears were proven wrong lol. 

7. our rhododendron bush going all out!

8. The Day The Sky Turned Orange..... this was taken at 8:45 am and the sky looked the same for p much the entire day. this year had the worst fire season i’ve ever experienced. 

9. two bucks standing in my backyard 10 feet apart cuz they’re not gay

#sorry if i tagged you and you've already done it lol #god remember when we could actually go places? i haven't been to target in a year now #lou.txt

[martiestudies]

Academic asks: 2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 15, 22, 24, 25, 30, 32, 35, 40, 42, 46, 50. that's so many I'm so sorry but they're such cool questions that I wanna hear the answers too! of you don't wanna do that many you can just cut out a few (or more than a few!)

omg don’t apologize i looooove answering these kind of things

2. what’s your major?

ngl i still don’t get the college system they use in the usa lmao but i’m studying to become a chemical engineering!! it’s uhhhh 5 years but absolutely no one graduates in that time so..............

4. do you think you picked the right major?

yes!!! the pandemic unmotivated me a lot and i questioned very hard if i wanted to do this but i always ended up at the same answer: i really love what i’m studying and i wouldn’t change it

6. career goals?

uhhhh i don’t think i have many tbh because i’m trying to focus on short term goals? but. graduating with a good average and find work quickly in an interesting field, hopefully researching. OH and i want to study abroad too like do one of those exchanging(?) programs

8. what classes are you taking right now?

just two! because i fell a little behind last year so i’m slowly catching up (most of my classes are correlatives so). this semester i’m taking math-B and general chemistry.

9. favourite class out of everything you’ve ever taken and why?

hands down the physical-chemistry one on my second year of high school because it’s the one that made me fell in love with science

10. least favourite class ever and why?

i don’t think i’ve ever had a class i hated? if i did it was because of the professors, not the subject. the one that comes to mind is my 4th year’s technical mechanics class because it was basically applied physics (WHICH I LOVE) but the professor was the worst person i’ve ever met and i still have mild trauma bc of it

12. current least favourite class and why?

out of the ones i’m taking? math lol but because i love chem with burning passion and my math class can be kinda boring sometimes. i still like it tho

15. class you’ve always wanted to take but never had the chance?

languages’ classes like i wanna study italian properly and maybe german and recently i really really really want to do a korean curse. also an astronomy/astrophysics class !!!! the german and astro ones are actually offered as classes for my degree’s credits but i haven’t taken them yet.

22. what’s your preferred writing implement?

i love this question lol my mechanical pencil with 0.5 B2 mines is my bestie and also i like to use filgo lighter fines for writing anything and everything

24. describe your perfect study environment

i think the one i’ve been lately it’s ideal? it’s quiet because i’m in my apartment alone and i have really good natural lightning and my kitchen like 2 meters away so i can spend the day drinking teas. i could do with a bigger table though lmao

25. are you procrastinating right now?

absolutely yes

32. describe your favourite teacher/professor and why you like them

OHHHH MY PHYSCHEM HIGH SCHOOL PROFESSOR!!!!!!!!!!!! he’s one of the best teachers ever and he motivated me (and still do kinda) to be the best student and person i can be. he teaches other classes too in my high school so i’ve had the pleasure to have a few other classes with him and i absolutely ADORE him tbh all my love for science is thanks to him and his classes 

35. most profound thing ever said to you by a teacher/professor?

something that stuck with me is how the prof i mentioned before always made a point of letting his students know that EVERYONE has the capacity to learn things and be smart we just don’t have to give up

40. write the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog and post a photo

42. a lot of notes or the bare minimum?

i always do a L O T of notes for everything so i’m trying to tone that down but yeah i prefer to have a lot instead of not enough

46. do you have pre test rituals and what are they?

uhhhh i never review/study the day of an exam. my last revision is always the night before so that day i can keep a clear head and that’s always worked for me.

also,,, lately i’ve been lowkey praying to a religious card (? like estampita) of kim seokjin from bts (aka San Jin) made as a not-really-a-joke from a store here in argentina. it’s really cute. and if you’re an army you just KNOW seokjin radiates good luck (also i’ve never failed an exam since i started doing that so)

50. what’s something more important to you than school?

oh a lot of things !! i don’t think school is the most important thing in my life by far even though i do think it’s really important. i’m gonna say, for example, my cat

woooo this has been fun :)

ask me something!!

#answered #long post #filgo pls im BEGGING you to sponsor me i would literally sell my soul for you #they released 12 new colors and im DYING to get them

[kingneptunesthinninghead]

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? i love me some mcdonald’s fries.

Are there hurricanes where you live? they happen every once in a while

What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. same

What song are you listening to right now? nothing but catch fire by 5sos is stuck in my head.

What was your first concert? brad paisley 🤠.

What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? willy wonka and the chocolate factory

Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. probably same

Do you like pumpkin pie? it’s about the only pie i DO like.

Do you know anyone named Austin? no one i like

Do you know anyone who is having a baby? my friend just gave birth to a baby about a week ago

What was the last thing you cried about? i cried in the car on the way home from work last night while listening to jet black heart lmaooo.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? i dont drink milk.

Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. agreed, i’m conflict avoidant to a fault

How many deep dark secrets do you have? i dont think i have any

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? the hot wings from bonchon were pretty f’n spicy

Who last called you sexy? i dont remember

Would you class yourself as a good role model? i think for the most part

Are you scared of the dark? sometimes i am

Do you have a motto? nah.

Who did you last see on webcam? my club committee from school

Do you need a haircut? i just got one about a month ago so not atm

How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? that would be impossible considering she’s in menopause and has her tubes tied

You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? no one i hate facebook

Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? most of the time alone but sometimes i’ll exercise with my sister or in a structured workout class

What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? any bc i suck at video games

Ever watch the show Supernatural? nope

Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? i’ve heard of it but never tried it

Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? i went thru hardcore icarly and victorious phases, also LOVED spongebob

Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? sometimes i’ll do bacon on mine

When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? the length of a book has never deterred me from reading it, ever.

Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? maybe

Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? not to toot my own horn but me

Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? no

When is the last time you cried? didnt i already answer this

Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? mm prob not

What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? i guess marvel and space would count

Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? no but i’ve attended several weddings of people who have quickly divorced

What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? raising them to be a good well adjusted person.

Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? prob not

Would you ever be a surrogate mother? nope

What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? i would love having that strong of a bond with someone and having someone to go thru life with but i would also feel like i never had anything that was truly mine esp in early childhood

Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? my childhood was great compared to a lot of peoples and i’m extremely thankful for that

How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? i would feel betrayed that i’d lied to for 20 years

Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? not that i know of and again i would feel crushed and betrayed

Do you like cleaning and organizing? when i’m in the mood for it

How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? i would definitely be upset bc i want to have at least one biological kid but in the end i would find just as much joy from adopting a child and giving them a loving home.

Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? it depends on what other factors are in my life at the time

Have you ever been robbed? no

Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? my friend at college and that’s not even a joke that’s genuine. i think he’s getting the help he needs tho which is good

Have you ever dumped anyone? no

What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. same it tastes like dish water

Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. same

What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? omg i still remember this bc i was blown away by how sweet it was. so in 9th grade i had one friend in my pe class and idek how we started talking but we just stuck by each other bc we didn’t have anyone else and we sat at our own table right by the teacher’s desk in health class and we actually became pretty close friends throughout the year well anyway i mentioned my birthday was coming up and she asked me what i wanted and i was like no you don’t have to and she was like do you want flowers and i was like sure why not and i didn’t think she was gonna actually do it but then on my birthday she shows up to health class with these beautiful purple flowers and i was so shocked that she actually got them for me so yeah i’ve never forgotten that ever. she moved away after that year and i never saw her again but i hope she’s doing well

What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? straight but i have questioned before.

Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? nothing too wild

Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: bored, content, excited

And the reasons for these feelings? bored bc i’m at work, content bc i like the way my life is going rn, excited bc i get to go back to school and see all my college friends soon.

How do you feel about your life right now? pretty pleased at the moment

Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? no. it’s a conscious choice to like yourself that you have to make everyday and some days that choice is easier to make than others

What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. agree with this, i’m very good at english and i understand some science

What subjects do not? MATH

Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? fiction but sometimes i like a good non fiction book.

How has today been for you? pretty good nothing too exciting

What did you do? watched tv and went to work

Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? no

Are there any lava lamps near you? nope.

Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. agree i have 4

Are any of your friends a pothead? yes, several

What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? start working out consistently again and get into therapy.

Are you a high maintenance person? nope

The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? i was at a karaoke night

Have you ever been heartbroken? yep

Who did that to you? my ex crush

Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? ohhhh yeah

The last type of sandwich you made or ate: a ham and cheese sandwich with pepperoni and mayo

The last time you spent most of the day in bed: when i was at school and i had stayed up until 6am the night before.

The last friend or acquaintance you made: my coworker

The last thing you took pictures of: a rainbow

The last time you were scared: when i thought a car was following me the other night

The last thing you looked up online: manic panic hair dye.

The last thing you disagreed with: i don’t remember.

Does your house have a separate laundry room? yep

Do your parents still help you financially? yes, a lot

Does your car have a backup camera? nope.

Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? not to where they’ve been arrested

Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? my childhood cat lived to be 18 which was pretty impressive.

What was the last strong scent you smelled? my cat’s fart

Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? no way

Is your bed against more than one of your walls? nope

Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? um yes some people i know have dilfs i’m sorry

Have you ever pole danced before? no

Have you ever broken into someone’s house? no.

Have you ever seen a live bat? yup at a beach house in the obx

What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? i bought bonchon for my friends and i one time which was just about $100

Have you ever taken a woodshop class? no

How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? as little time as possible.

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? i had one math teacher in high school that consistently made me feel dumb bc i needed extra help to understand the concepts and couldn’t do mental math that fast so didnt like her

Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? closest i’ve been was second row

Are your parents supportive of you? yep

[notasiren21]

Lukanette 24, 86. First day at university/college?

Hell yea bud I gotchu (even tho I have classes in the morning and finished this af 4AM but lol idc)

Rootbeer Floats & Milkshakes

Rating: Teen basically

Pairing: Lukanette

Word count: 3,839

Prompt(s): (24) “Wanna go grab a drink?” & (86)”Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”

Characters: Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain Cheng, Ayla Cessaire

Description:

Marinette’s first day at university comes with a surprise planned by a certain quiet girl off somewhere else for school and her best friend/roommate Ayla. It’s been two years since Luka and Marinette last saw each other and inner thoughts get spilled and fluff takes place.

So many boxes.

That’s all there was to it. There were too many boxes she had carried up and unpacked between her and Ayla that filled their new university dorm room.

In fact, she was almost certain there was a god out there when a student happened by saying he was taking spare boxes to store away for a later time.

She collapsed onto her bed, black high waisted skirt spanning the mattress and covers, pink silk blouse hanging off one shoulder. An arm carefully draped across her face to avoid makeup, lips parting in an exaggerated moan of exhaustion.

“You alright there, girl?” Ayla snickered, folding her clothes and swatting Marinette’s thigh to get her to move.

“If by alright you mean, questioning my life choices and events that led me to here and disdain for being limited to colleges because of my other persona needing to be here for an akuma, then yes. I’m alright.”

Ayla whistled lowly, “Damn, bug. And here I was, worrying about that small thing called tuition and student loans.”

The bluenette sat up in a huff, leaning against the wall with eyes closed rubbing at her forehead.

“Right, that. God, the thought of starting university scared me, but being here is downright terrifying.”

And then she heard it.

“Aw, Mari, don’t be scared, I’m right here.” And there standing was the owner of the smooth and calming voice. Grinning with his perfect teeth and one snake bite piercing ring on the bottom left of his lip, hair more of his natural black roots and electric blue tips, and a few tattoos.

She was screaming excitedly and hurling her body into his for a hug before Ayla had the chance to turn around and the poor boy could blink.

“Luka!” She smushed her face against his middle ribs, feeling the muscles of his now matured figure and the soft cotton blend of his black hooded long sleeve.

Ayla still folded, more than pleased Juleka involved her in a scheme like old times and reunited the two after Luka left for university for those two years and spent breaks being Jagged Stone’s new protégé.

He placed a kiss to her hair, squeezing her tight and feeling his face burn from her presence altogether. “It’s nice to see you too, Ma-ma-Marinette.” He teased, watching as she pulled away and wiped some small flecks of glitter highlighter away from his shirt. “It’s fine, I don’t mind it.” He said, carefully grabbing her hand and bringing it down to rest between them.

“I didn’t know you went here.” God, her eyes were so blue.

“I could say the same. I came to visit because Ayla said she needed help with boxes and Juleka told her I attended the same school and lived in the same building.” He raised their hands, placing a kiss to her knuckles, “This is by far the greatest surprise though.”

Marinette blushes heavily from the gesture. She used to whenever Luka was sweet around her but the time spent apart seemed to reinforce her feelings. She smiled before a frown took over her features. She quickly whipped around to stare at the taller female.

“Why didn’t you just invite him over sooner? We would’ve finished forever ago.” Only receiving a huff and glance to her.

Luka blinked, “Oh, so you don’t need any help?” Great, now he was feeling like he was intruding and a possible nuisance hanging around.

He was about to offer to leave them so they wouldn’t be distracted when the small and petite girl he spent his last teenage years loving squeezed him into another hug.

“Oh my god, you being here is more than enough help. I think I can see the light, is this it? Seeing Luka has killed me with such peaceful serenity I’m able to leave this horrid place for a possible paradise?”

He gave an amused laugh that rushed out of him, staring wide eyed to his old friend with glasses.

“Don’t even bother. She spent a summer with Chloé having to serve punishment by working in her family’s bakery and everyday it was nonstop dramatic monologues until their shifts ended.” She smiled, “It was amusing and did get better as time went on though.”

He only nodded, hating when she let go and moved to put small and casual heals on, long hair falling over her shoulders as she lent to the side, finding solid balance along her bed post.

“Well since it’s a reunion and all, wanna go grab a drink?”

Luka only dimpled down at her in response, excited she wasn’t ready to part ways with him just yet.

“You even have to ask?”

~*~

There was no question about it in her mind; Luka had definitely gotten hotter in their time separated.

His hair was messy in his young rockstar way but still gravitated the urge for Marinette to play with from across the table. His eyes seemingly more of azure than just regular blue when he was younger. Eyelashes and brows black and more defined.

How in the hell did his features harden after two years?

Marinette played with the straw in her milkshake, glancing up frequently to catch a glimpse of Luka who was at the counter ordering a root beer float. She coward every time he looked to her like he felt her stare.

Ayla passed on the reunion trip, saying she was going to go visit Alix and then spend the rest of the day with Nino who attended the same school as them.

“Sorry I couldn’t take you to a bar or something to ease your nerves, I can’t drink.” He said, sitting down and alternating between a spoon and a straw for his drink.

“You can’t?” She was surprised, most university students would frequent shops and stores to buy out the liquor section back home.

He shook his head, the curve of the spoon sitting on his tongue before he spoke. “Nope, alcohol intolerant. Pass out the second it hits my system, I get sick and the worst hives ever.”

“That sounds awful, how did you find out?”

He laughed lightly, “My roommate was in charge of making punch for a party he was going to later when I would be out buying a new release of this one game. He asked me to try it and only told me of the fruit ingredients, wondered if it needed more sugar. Had no clue until I woke up in the campus’s infirmary.”

She grabbed his hand with hers, white nail polish tips visible to him on short nails of hers. “If it makes you feel any better, I had planned to order a Shirley temple or something had you taken me to a bar. Never like the idea of drinking anyways and I don’t have the luxury of freedom to.” She faltered before she smiled at him.

“Yeah, never know when one will need to run across the rooftops of Paris huh?”

She went impossibly still before he realized what he confessed.

“You knew?” Her voice was a mere whisper, eyes growing wide and beautiful mascara lashes blinking rapidly.

He let go of her hand quickly like he just hurt her, opting to lean on his elbows on the hard table and mess with his hair nervously, avoiding her gaze.

“I mean, I’ve always known since I first met Ladybug in person,” he was speaking quietly to avoid drawing attention. “The way you spoke was just, it was mesmerizing and like a song in itself. When she talked to me, all I could hear was you. And one day you approached me from behind and said my name in that way you do that gets to me and I turned around and saw her instead. And I just knew, I mean that day I was more sure than I had been the first meeting.”

The air suddenly turned thick and she didn’t know how to respond until she thought about certain things he said that she could focus on and giggled.

“And yet the people I spent everyday with in class never picked up on it. You truly are one of a kind, Couffaine.”

The hand that messed with his colored locks stilled, eyes meeting hers that were amused and he felt himself burning like mad. Clearing his throat and sipping the soda from the ice cream concoction.

“So, how’s Adrien?” He wouldn’t dare give himself hope like last time when he first fell for her.

“Adrien? He’s fine. Why do you ask?”

“Haven’t you guys hit like your third year yet? When was that anniversary?” He really didn’t want to know but it would provide him a slap of reality before getting hurt again by his own damn self.

She giggled again, head hanging low and bit her lip in a way that made his chest tighten. “I wouldn’t know. We broke up a few months into our first year because we just weren’t made for one another. We’re still great friends and that’s all we are to each other. Nothing more.”

Ah fuck...the hope is seeping in.

“Huh, didn’t see that coming.”

She added some sprinkles to her shake that sat on the ice cream parlor’s table besides the napkins. “We were younger, thinking everything made sense and it would work out. In reality, I just had some tween love obsession goggles on that inhibited my logic and real life objectives.”

He was smiling now, arms folded with one able to eat the soda flavored ice cream, “You really grew up, huh?”

“I could say the same to you. Wonder how a Viperion would look today than from two years ago? Sexier? More fitted? Definitely hotter no doubt.” She flashed a smile and her shoulders shook when he coughed harshly and choked on his spoonful, looking at the way the red traveled down to his neck and his eyes shook in panicked awe of her. “You okay there, Vipey?”

“Vipey?” He hit a fist to his chest, drinking the soda at the top again. Questioning that one little thing was far easier to draw attention to her teasing compliments.

She waved him off like that new nickname wasn’t twisting his heart in the most delicious pain he ever felt. “Always wanted to call you that but Chat was such a jealous and possessive thing back then, I was afraid he’d claw you to bits if I gave you your own pet name.”

Did she really not know what she was doing to him?

Wait.

“Okay, I get it. It’s a cute name.” He leaned towards her again, “On another note, is this you confessing that Chat Noir is Adrien? Because I kinda already figured.”

She gaped before smiling, “You’re just too good, aren’t you?”

“Not really. I mean, a socially repressed kid who lives by a set of rules and is made to be perfect all the time suddenly gains powers, and what is he expected to do? I would think look untamed and be unfiltered as much as possible. It wasn’t that big of a leap when I knew she was you. Well, a small fraction of you at least.”

Marinette ignored the last part. “You know, most people love to say her name. Ladybug’s. Why don’t you?”

His dark brows furrowed before he held a spoonful of his ice cream up to her lips, still leaning forwards and meeting her eyes. “I like your name better, Marinette. You’re what makes her, you’re always Marinette. Why call you by something else unless it’s required of me to do so?” She pretended like the hitch in her breath wasn’t obvious and ate the ice cream, noting the way his eyes didn’t dart down to watch her eat it like most boys would but instead held her gaze, and only dropped to grab more for her.

“What do you mean by that?”

He gave a sad smile, “You’re a smart girl, Mari. Ladybug isn’t who you are, it’s just a persona you created to ease the worries of an entire city that’s heavily populated. Someone you made real to stand up against someone with a power and lust for evil when I’m sure you wanted to hide away like the rest of us. Who you are behind the mask is so much more powerful than the one presented to us because you’re human. You made her to get through the challenging times and give a hero to a city when you wanted to be protected and safe just like them. I admire Ladybug for all she’s done, but I admire Marinette more for the sacrifices she’s made to help Paris and the victims of akumas.” He wiped the corner of her lips when the tinted ice cream caught his attention, his smile dropping. “Every time Ladybug got hurt, my heart didn’t break for her, it broke for you.”

“Me, what why?”

He chanced it and leaned his forehead to hers. “Because everyone saw you gain injuries throughout battle and they cried for Ladybug. Then your purification presumably took away the pain and injuries, but I always assumed some lingered. And that the memories in fact did stay and I wondered how many sleepless nights you had where you jolted awake in fear of getting hurt again, and I prayed to whatever deity there was that you didn’t cry alone in the dark.”

She wanted to cry now.

“People worry about the hero and then the fight is over, then worrying about themselves and the close calls. No one ever stops to worry about the person behind the mask though. I’ve always hated that.”

“No one but you, huh?” They had quieted down significantly and whatever had been flickering between the two had grown to sparks that remained unsettled inside them.

Luka glanced down at their hands that were close to one another’s, taking a deep breath before pulling back. “C’mon, I’ll take you back.”

The walk back was silent, Marinette holding onto his arm that was lazily available while his hand rested in his shirt pocket. He gave her a small smile when she took off her heals to walk through the carpeted dorm hallway, offering to carry the small shoes for her that now dangled from his free hand’s hooked fingers. He watched her step on the patterns in graceful ways, dancing around them to his humming in the near empty hallways.

He assumed there was a first day party raging on somewhere in the building.

They stopped at her dorm, finishing out keys and letting him walk inside to place her shoes down on the rack she brought with her from home. He looked up just in time to see a familiar bracelet presented to him, a snake kwami floating near it and a red one zipping in the back to eat baked goods from home.

He couldn’t find words for how surprised he was, looking between the little god and then her and the bracelet.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Sass won’t mind. I just felt like I would’ve had a great partner in Viperion if I was given the chance to work with him more.”

He willed himself back, “How do I know this isn’t some elaborate excuse to check me out in a skin right suit?” He nearly prided himself when she became equally as flustered.

“That’s only a quarter of the reason why I’m offering, Luka.” She pouted, avoiding his eyes and shifting her weight nervously. He smiled down at her, grabbing her arms and wrapping them around his waist as his crossed over her shoulders, cheek resting to her hair again.

God, this felt like home.

“When have I ever said no to you, Mari?” He could feel her excitement shoot through her and the small squeal of excitement reached his ears as he laughed. Letting her pull one arm from her shoulder and slip the bracelet on. “Hi, Sass. I’ve missed you.”

The snake smiled, glancing between Luka and the smaller girl in his arms that was beyond content with the turn of events for the night. “Not assssss much asssss her I presssssume?” Earning a snicker when he winked to the small god.

“Luka, the main reason I asked you?”

He pulled away, letting her sit on the bed on her knees, messing with her skirt in her hands.

“Yeah?”

“It’s because, I’m, um,”

“Take your time, Marinette. I don’t mind.”

She took a breath, “I’ve never trusted anyone with my inner thoughts and feelings like I do with you. You read me like an open book and try to keep it to yourself so I never become embarrassed. But you know the real me behind the mask that most others don’t even if they know my secret, and that counts for something.” She met just azure eyes, “Who better to protect me than the one who sees I’m just as weak as any civilian.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, instead walking closer to her and letting his right hand guide the back of her head to his lips as he placed a kiss to her forehead.

“Is that a yes?”

He nosed her hair, “Maybe I just want to hear you call me Vipey again.”

She giggled in kind, flicking his nose. “It’s a cute nickname for a cute boy who is a cute superhero.” She nudged the tip of his nose again, “With a cute, button nose.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were flirting with me, Dupain Cheng.”

“It took me a few years to gain the courage for it, but yeah, I guess you could say I am.” She blinked up innocently at him. He crossed his arms with a smirk.

“You know it’s dangerous for cute and beautiful girls like you to make guys like me hopeful right?”

“Is it?” She tried matching his height, even with the extra inches of the bed she only reached to his chin while she stood on her knees. “You said I’m smart, meaning I’ve learned my lesson this second time around. It’s okay for you to be hopeful, right?”

“Marinette?” He couldn’t move, afraid he would scare her off and praying to those kwamis he knew what was happening next.

“Luka?” She nudges her nose to his chin, giggling lightly when he shifted down to meet her nose like she wanted. He couldn’t and wouldn’t make the first move, she knew that. He respected her too much to read too far into things she did. “You know I always had this crush on you, right?”

“You what?”

She frowned, tears glistening around the blue hues of her eyes. “I really did miss you while you were away.” He forced a swallow, ignoring the matter that no one has ever spoken those words to him before and the weight they carried to him. “I’m not messing up this time, Luka.”

She pulled at the collar of his hood, bringing him down to her lips as her name died on his tongue and his hands slipped out of the pocket of his shirt to find support from her waist. His eyes screwed shut in fear of it all not being real or worse, her realizing it was a mistake to take with him.

But she still let her hands travel to his hair, giving a small happy noise with the ability to now play with it and feel it between her fingers. That alone coaxed him out of his potential nightmare slowly and encouraged him to move his lips against hers , feeling her smile when he found the bed to sit on so she wouldn’t have to lean up and felt her legs draped over his lap sideways.

He couldn’t bring himself to do anything when she broke the kiss, scared she’ll kick him out or express regret. Instead she gave a shy smile and then pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, hands framing his face before she hugged him with enough force to send Luka tipping backwards into her pillows with her on top of him.

She didn’t move off of him, only brought her face up to rest on her arms on top his chest while he refused to look at her. She held his face again, feeling the heat of the blood rushing to his face.

“Is it my turn to say how cute you look when you’re a blushing mess?” Her impish smile widened when the depths of his blues met hers, his jaw hardening in response to let her know he was at a loss for words. She ran a hand through his hair, noting the way he couldn’t stop the hum from escaping his throat. “You always were the one who got away, I didn’t want to risk it this time around and knew it the moment I saw you step into the university dorm that it had to be.”

He swallowed nervously, fingers twitching on her back. “Does this mean you want to be-,”

“Boyfriend and girlfriend for the time being? Absolutely.” She gave a firm nod, lips pressed in a straight line to make him laugh finally. He tried not to think about the her response and what the “time being” could lead to, hopefully a future together like he always wished for.

“Okay. I want that too.” She grinned, resting her chin on her arms again and staring up at him with an awed look. “What?”

She shook her head, leaning up to peck his lips before darting down to his chest and resting her cheek against his heart, “Nothing, you’re just really cute, Luka.”

“Oh my god, you’re going to kill me.” He muttered, arms leaving her and covering his red face.

“You okay?”

He whimpered, “Peachy. I meet up with the girl I’ve had a crush on forever and have a date with her and she ends up being my girlfriend before the night is over. And she’s the type to shower me in compliments. I’ve sighed my own death wish.”

“While you’re dealing with that, you mind if I turn the television on and catch up on an anime I’m watching?”

He uncovered his face to look at her then the tv across her bed, “Does this mean we have to move?”

She shook her head, moving to grab the remote and he noted he recognized the show already from some posts and expressed interest to himself of it before.

“No, I’m too affectionate to pass up on cuddling.” She sat up to grab a blanket before resting on his chest again, tangling her legs with his and giving a happy wiggle when he hugged her close. “You smell nice, I like it.”

“Fuck, you’re really too adorable, Marinette.” Luka sighed, forever grateful the university he didn’t care much about had one thing he would give the world to and she wanted nothing but him instead.

“You’re adorable too, Vipey.” Giggling when he squeezed her in retaliation and muttered to just watch her show and cuddled him.

#luka couffaine #miraculous ladybug #miraculous lb #miraculous luka #luka x marinette #mlb luka #marinette dupain cheng #marinette dupain cheng x luka couffaine #love #lukanette fic #lukanette fanfic #prompt #fluff #mentions of viperion #answered ask #i need sleep #lukanette

[malleus-maledicarum]

Consciousness hits Dorian like a stone suddenly, tho he can barely tell as his eyes open to pure darkness.

And in that darkness he lays for a moment, gathering his bearings. Before too long objects start shifting into view; familiar objects. It hits him again This is his room. It's unmistakable. The desk with his collectibles, the wardrobe, the window overlooking the yard though right now the curtains were closed. He was home. But...how? What was this? A dream? Did...

His questioning is cut off by the door opening a crack to let a slice of light to cut into the room. Faintly, there's the sound of music coming from downstairs.

Whether by compulsion, or curiosity....or worse, fear, he cautiously heads to the door to follow the music. The house is empty, no signs of anyone having come through recently

More than that the halls feel Strange Still his house, absolutely but.... They're off. As if everything was moved an inch to the left. And all the portraits are blank, empty voids where paintings once lived.

And were the hallways always this winding? It feels like it takes forever to reach the stairs, as if walking a maze. His hand grips the banister in a feeble attempt to ground himself.

The music is closer, a grand sweeping melody that honestly sounds like something his Mother would request played. Suppose that makes sense then that the music seems to be coming from their entertaining room.

Through the closed double doors he can see passing shadows that interrupt the light in the cracks. Were his parents throwing a party and didn't inform him? That was odd but...surely he had studying to do? Honestly so many details were hazy right now.

Curiosity once again getting the better of him, he pushes the door open ever so slightly to catch a glimpse inside. The room is much larger than he remembered it, too large to even fit the house. Lights dot the room, almost making everything blur with an ethereal glow. Masked shapes elegantly dance amongst each other, perfectly in tune with the band.

It's almost like a dream. And he realizes, that's because it is. The fact becomes clear when he sees a very specific figure mingling in the crowd.

Holding the hands of a faceless figure is Karver, who turns and catches Dorian's gaze.

"Oh there you are!" He detaches himself from the dancer, who stands perfectly still and watching them. Karver pays them no mind. "I was hoping you would find me, come in come in! You've never visited my home have you? Here, dance with me while we talk"

Dorian cannot get a word or protest in edgewise as Karver grabs his hand and pulls him into the swaying fray of bodies. All he can feel is confusion and indignation as Karver takes the lead position, resting a hand on his hip and pushing him around like a broom.

Getting his bearings, Dorian attempts and fails to stop the waltz and just goes along with it until he can exit the dream. "So it's your fault I'm here. Typical. Wh- what is this place? You're "home"? What does that mean?"

Karver chuckles, dipping him and quickly snatching him back up. "Did you expect me to just live in the emptiness of that little head of yours? Of course not. During my imprisonment, I've managed to create a respite while I finish up my work. Lovely, isn't it?"

The room spins around them, streaks of colors and shapes. Vague in every sense, it's impossible to make out any details Except Dorian strains his neck, swearing he sees someone familiar but Karver just keeps them moving. "I wanted to have a discussion with you, Dori. Try and reach an understanding."

Dorian cringes at the nickname "Absolutely not. In every sense. I'm done listening to you. All you have to say is poisonous drivel and I'm beyond fed up with it."

"Okay. Yes, alright I've been...less than kind to you." His hand sweeps out and quickly pulls Dorian back in holding him almost intimately close. "Even tonight I've said some less than cordial things to you. I'm realizing I've been going about this the wrong way."

This takes him aback. Karver has never once shown any signs of empathy or kindness in the entire time they've been together. Rarely to others and certainly never to him. Dorian stares into the eyes of his disease for...well anything. Hints of lying, mockery. Anything to make this make sense. "You...Have made my life more of a hell than it already was." His tone is cold, doing its best at indifference.

Karver's expression furrows, a tinge of annoyance, but he plays it off. "Your life was never that bad. Anyways. Yes. I've been cruel to you. It's for that reason I want to make amends. Make the transition easier."

"Transition?"

"Yes, for when I take over the body. You see-"

At that sentiment, Dorian finally rips himself from the dance and firmly plants his stance to glade daggers into his double.

The room falls silent and the figures stand perfectly still.

"You. Are not taking over, do you understand me you fucking plague.?"

With a sigh, Karver steps forward. His face looks the closest to sympathetic Dorian has ever seen. "You're getting weaker, Dorian. You were already so...weak. So small. You were barely able to survive childhood. Even now, you're losing your fight. Each dose grows more ineffective as your serum does its work, as I do my work." He steps closer Dorian takes another step back. "You made me-"

"I did NOT. You are a failed experiment and the WORST side effect-"

"YOU. Made. Me. You wanted a total overhaul. A full body and mental enhancement. You. wanted everything better."

They continue their perfectly in sync walk, one following the other, until Dorian feels his back hit the wall. Karver poses himself over him, all but trapping him in their conversation.

"You wanted everything fixed, you wanted to perfect yourself, and my Detested I'm sorry to tell you there was simply too much to fix." His hand reaches up to gently tuck a lock of hair behind Dorian's ear.

The man finds himself frozen, memories of that night filling his vision. The injection The awful feeling the night after followed by a few nights of feeling wonderful. The first time he heard Karver's voice. The voice that continues to lecture him.

"There was simply too much work to do, and I think on some level you recognize that don't you? You were never fast or strong. Not even head of your class. It tried, your little mixture truly did...but the only option left was to start from scratch."

When did Karver get this close? When did he wrap his hand around his in such a tender embrace? Intimacy alone was foreign to Dorian, but from his disease it was baffling. "I am your cure. I am the solution you asked for. But I know...how terrifying this must actually be for you. Trust me, I know how bleak nothing is. I could have made the process less painful, but my anger got the better of me. I want to remedy that now, and offer you a choice."

"A..A...." Words fail him. He's backed against a wall by his greatest enemy in such a passionate embrace, speaking to him in a way he's never experienced before "A choice?"

"Keep fighting. Succumb tired and afraid, losing potentially every aspect of yourself...or. Come willingly." Now Karver is cradling Dorian's face.

"Let me assimilate you by your own choice, complete the transition, and not only do you go with some dignity and grace but who knows? Maybe some traces of you will remain! The best parts of you accentuating my already superior attributes."

And there it was. The confused look on Dorian's face contorts into pure horror. Karver is looking at him with full sincerity, his voice so gentle and calm. As if this was a good ultimatum.

"Y-you." Dorian is practically shaking. "You're asking me whether I wish to be murdered or EUTHANIZED?"

"If you have to put such ugly terms on it...yes. Go peacefully or go down swinging but regardless Dorian, you are going to succumb. You pushed the needle in, your inferior body created me to replace you, the least I could do is offer you some mercy-"

"Mercy??" He scoffs, attempting to wrench his hand free. "You call this MERCY? Asking me to give up EVERYTHING to you, my whole life thrown away for someone else to live!"

"Oh please you were barely living your life. The crime they pinned on you aside, you had the social skills of a thorn bush. You couldn't even make a friend with the one person willing to talk to you. You were nothing and even if you get rid of me you will go back to being nothing."

Ouch. That's why the face looked familiar. Dorian looks back out into the crowd, now realizing the perfectly still figures were all people they knew And sure enough among them was Douglas. Masked, but undeniable.

"You...why is he here...?" His voice is a whisper. "Did...you make him?"

Karver follows Dorian's gaze and is silent for a moment. "...He was brilliant. And talented. He would have done amazing things. Then because of you, all that was taken away. This is more evidence. All you do is break things. You were a runt of a child and have grown into a failure of a man. Once replaced, maybe this body will be put to use."

"I...That was NOT my fault." A strange new fire he'd never felt rose in his stomach. "I am TRYING. And yes. I fuck up. But that is part of living. I'm...I'm going to swt things right. I'm going to survive. They're going to help me find my cure, and you will be such a forgotten memory even I won't remember your putrid name."

Karver is silent for a long while, studying Dorian closely. He seems to come to some sort of decision and sighs closely before stepping very close to him. "I want it known...I offered peace. And from here on out you will be treated as a tumor. And I am going to have you cut. Out. Dorian Rathmore. I tried being civil."

Without warning, his teeth were in Dorian's neck. Pain shot through him and he could feel blood dripping down Karver's mouth.

He sat upright suddenly. And a smile spread across Karver's face. After penning a letter and having it sent to the inn, he set off With newfound purpose and a new deal to make.

[theworldsoul]

Okay so basically... lets talk.

I should've seen this coming. I should've known that after such a long period of happiness, something would give.

I went to pick up my glasses from the dinner table today, because that's where I left them. When I put them on... they wouldnt stay on. I checked and they were missing the two plastic parts that hold the glasses up and still on my nose.

I check the table for them, and I dont find them. Then I ask, like hey, did any of yall touch my glasses? Both the plastic things are missing. My dad IMMEDIATELY assumes that I took them off ON PURPOSE. For some reason. And I tell him no, i didnt touch them, all I remember is picking them up from the table and seeing the plastic bits missing.

Then I spend like an hour telling them no, I didnt break my own glasses, I FOUND them that way. And my dad is like mocking me, going "u always say 'I didnt do it!!!' Like you never do anything huh? I guess you're just perfect." And I'm like... BUT I ACTUALY DIDNT DO IT!!!!???!? and hes like "you never take responsibility for anything, blah blah, you're so fucking stupid, you act like a four year old, stop fucking crying, how dare you ask us if we know what happened, why are you trying to blame us, you obviously did it on purpose and now you're acting all surprised.." and I'm just sitting there. Taking it. Thinking to myself... wow. They automatically assumed the worst in me. And THIS SORT OF THING HAPPENS OFTEN!!! I get blamed for shit I didnt do all the fuckign time.

So I'm just. Crying. Because theres a certain amount of verbal abuse i can take and it's not very much. I'm being interrogated. And its distressing, because I cant PROVE that I didnt do it on.purpose, because i GENUINELY DONT REMEBER WHAT HAPPENED!!! so they just get to assume that i broke my own glasses.

Why would my dad jump to that conclusion so quickly? Simple answer: he literally hates me. He holds back, I know, but hes done this before and he'll do it again, hes shown and said what he REALLY THINKS and he'll say it again and do it again and again and again because his mask is slipping. I dont know what I did to make him hate me but he does. That's just how it is. I can't change that. Man, my parents behave like children.

Anwyays so I'm just very upset, in distress, crying really hard, trying not to say too much so I dont make them angrier but also always telling the truth, which is that I DIDN'T DO IT AND I DONT REMEBER ANYTHING HAPPENEING TO THE GLASSES!!

He asks me, who did it then? I say I dont know but it wasnt me. He said who then, if not you. I said I dont know. He didnt believe me!!!

I hate when I tell the truth and people dont believe it. Like... this is the truth. I have nothing more to offer you. Take what little I give, cos it's my fucking blood.

Anyways in the meantime my mom is checking, looking for the plastic bits. She finds them in my coat pocket.

I am proven innocent. At what cost? Well, now I'm shaking, curled up into a ball, crying, and in actual pain. My brain cant handle so much pain so it transfers it to physical pain. So there I am. A fucking kid. Who's been punished for somehting he didn't do. And theres the proof.

My dad fixed the glasses. Left me there on the couch, still trembling. Gave them to me in a case. Said I gotta be careful. I said thank you. Because, even if I'm upset, I gotta make sure other people dont get upset. He said sorry, but he said it in this huffy way that made it sound reluctant. Then he was like, I said sorry so stop crying.

He wanted a kiss on the cheek and I was gonna give him one because I dont want to seem like a dickhead, he DID apologize... and if you dont accept my dads apologies and move on and pretend that the word "sorry" fixes everything, he gets even more angry and i REALLY dont want to deal with him guilt ripping me over it. So I lean in for a little kiss and... I cant. I cant do it. My face crinkles up all ugly and I start crying hysterically every time I get close. I try a few times but I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of like... oh god. I felt so hurt. Like a scared little rabbit. Oh shit, I was fucking scared. I couldnt do it. It made me feel disgusted.

I said, later I'll do it.

I dont know why he thinks he can hurt me so bad and make me cry, then give some shitty apology and expect me to change my mood entirely and go back to being all happy. That's not how it works. If you hurt someone, they stay hurt. Your shitty little word, "sorry", doesnt make me feel any better and doesnt fix any of the damage.... but I have to pretend like it does because if I dont you get mad, and you say I'm mean for not accepting the apology,,,

Later on, he did come for a kiss again. I was in my room, pretending to be busy so he would ignore me but he didnt. This time, I didnt kiss him but I allowed him to kiss me. I just... I couldnt kiss him. I was holding back tears, and i knew if i tried to kiss him i would start crying all over again and make him upset or angry. So I just sorta... let him kiss me on my forehead. Then I went to the bathroom fast as I could, acting like I had to brush my teeth.

I locked the door, sank to my knees, and cried. Hard.

I just wish that I had a dad who loved me, or who knew how to love me... or who I knew loved me, a dad who knew what he was doing, so I didnt have to debate if he loved me or not in my head.

God. I feel so small. Like I literally feel like a little kid right now. Fucking hell. Looks like tonight I'll be indulging in my delusions, playing pretend.

It's sad that my parents fuck me up, but its sadder that afterwards I dont have anyone to comfort me and help heal me.... only myself and whoever I bring to life in my imagination.

Sometimes when I get overly upset, when I'm pushed to the edge like this, I begin to feel... a lot younger? Like shockingly younger. I'm not even the same dude anymore, I'm a fucking five year old all of a sudden. Which makes the situation even more scary and painful.

Just imagine like, a hurt scared little kid with no one to help him. He's tryna pick himself off the ground and hes telling himself "shhhhh... it'll be okay" that's me. That's literally me and it makes me feel so fucking BAD but its true.

I've been breaking down. Earlier in the day I had trouble on a quiz because I didn't know the definition of a word in a poem and I couldnt answer the question (does character A like character B?) And when I asked they said they couldnt tell me which was bullshit but whatever. Uhm so I got upset. Like, scarily upset. I gave up, wrote that i didnt want to do the question on the paper, guessed at half the answers, crumpled it up and threw it to the ground. Then I just... spaced out for the rest of class because I was STILL upset and fuck them.

At one point I left to go cry in the bathroom, but when i went in there, all the stalls were taken and there was a huge group of guys in there, like maybe ten people in there total, so I ran back out and was like fuck now what. Now I wait. I waited and nobody came out. I double checked and they were sitll there and I ran out again. I dashed to another bathroom down the hall hoping it was empty. I was blasting metal in my ears to try and drown out the FEELINGS, I hate feeling things. Got into a stall, slammed the door, started CRYING, sobbing, talking to myself, all of this with metal music blaring out of my headphones. I composed myself. When I went out of the stall I checked my eyeliner and it was... well, you could TELL I cried. I didnt bother with it tho, i just ran out of there.

Ugh and when I got back I kept doing the stim that usually evolves into literally hitting myself, so that was. Bad. At least this time I refrained from beating the shit outta my own left arm.

God.. I hope everyone who hurts me, everyone who ever fucking hurt me, feels GUILTY as all hell. I hope whatever being made me FEEL all these emotions so hard so strong so fast, ROTS. because nobody deserves to feel so intensely upset that they resort to the worst ways of coping. No one.

I'm just glad I didnt relapse. That's a positive.

[baddyxangel]

well...that was an...experience.

spoiler

ok babies so i finally finished ALL of teen wolf and umm...wow . im gonna go ahead and share my thoughts, i think im gonna split this into 2 posts 1 where i talk about the characters individually and 1 where i just speak in general

6B never happened, I've never heard of it, never seen it, never touched it, never smelled it and i dont think i wanna see anything anymore.

starting with our MC we have scott, the indecisive, pure, irritating, "true alpha". now my problems with scott are honestly just preferrence but still somewhat justified . if you're familiar with comics you know that we always have our hero who believes and tries his best to save EVERYBODY including his enemies, and he is the "if i kill them i'll be just as bad as them" type. now the issue i have with this trope is that its just annoying and naive , I've always been more of a wonder woman type myself personally i dont see this issue with killing 1 person who has killed hundreds or dozens. Scott in most cases is very...bland ? very cookie cutter goody two shoes type, naive and a little bit soft, and for how gassed up true alphas are he is EXTREMELY underwhelming and one is his only saving graces for me is me being attracted to him.

he lets some of the most dangerous people in his universe roam freely because there is a "line" he wont cross and while i get those are his morals and his code i just personally couldnt fuck with it if i was in pack. his innocence meshes more well with ignorance. AND FOR FUCKS SAKE LET THIS MAN BE FUCKING SINGLE

also this was added in post: he's best on screen when he has other people with him to actually show he had some kind of personality besides "me help people" is what I've noticed. specifically stiles, derek and isaac tbh. i think one of my fav scott moments is "im the hot girl 🙂" and isaac saying "yes you are 👍🏽"

Stiles now we all know stiles, the best friend, the brains of the operation, the sarcastic and funny one who lightens the mood. Now stiles is one of my favorites (surprise surprise) because he's not infuriating to me i dont think I've ever been frustrated with mr.stilinski. he's essentially scotts polar opposite but not really if you get what i mean ? idk i love him, moving on.

Allison- i like her. got on my nerves after her coocoo ass momma died but y know. i thought her and scott were cute and i would've liked her to stay alive

Lydia- my favorite banshee, smart, but for some reason is always being taken hostage, attacked, injured, and put into extremely horrifying situations and i dont think i like that.

Kira- personally my fav of scotts Gf's, i think she's cute, right amount of awkward, strong, interesting and i would've loved for her kitsune to have been able to kill somebody. jeff davis obviously did her dirty with her storyline that was apparently finished even though...we still didnt get to learn that much about her powers ? whatever im upset.

Liam- dont like him . moving on. also the long hair didnt grow on me and i dont think it will.

Jackson- eat shit and die.

coach- we love you.

monroe- i could write an entire 2 hour movie script on this hoe. bitch killed 1 hellhound and start feeling ha pussy and thinking she hot shit fuck this lil girl was annoying, moving on before i keep typing.

gerard- you got what the fuck yo old ass had coming to you

peter- we love an anti hero with a sense of humor 💕 and idc he would've wrecked everybody shit in season 1

kate- girl...you are a mess of a hoe. lemme stop there before i write a book on her too.

chris- ily

melissa- someone give her an award ASAP

sherrif- you were very on and off for me

derek- baby i missed you so much, leave scott musty ass and come pack this puss-

dread doctors- these fuckers used to put fear in my soul when i was little

deaton- i dont like how he's used as a plot device.

desert wolf- LMFAOOOO

malia- i like her because she's impulsive but sometimes those impulsive tendecies make me wanna stomp her head in the ground.

deucalion- also used a plot device after his season and then died for no reason. im so sorry for what this show did to you

im missing a lot but if you drop your opinions and names in the replies i'll share my opinion on whoever i missed

Thoughts on Theo? theo- hated his manipulative ass but he is so fine so it hurt me to be screaming and cursing at my tv when he was on screen. originally i was extremely irritated and annoyed when they brought him back cause i dont think he needed to be redeemed like at all, even though i appreciate that i can love him without him being a piece of shit it was unneeded i think . id still fuck him tho

scott pissed me off cause... is theo just a great liar or does scott just hate stiles ? why would he believe theo so easily yet not ask for stiles part of the story ? its like he forgets that stiles doesnt have claws and fangs and shit so of course he's gonna do what he does to survive when y'all can't protect him 🙄 i swear their werewolf hearing only works when the plot needs it too (ik they probably need to focus to enhance their hearing but still it's so annoying-) the season is essentially based on misunderstandings tbh. everyone's lying for no reason at all. but i do like how we actually get to see the effect of their mental health but this is also what i mean when i was talking about scotts fluctuating intelligence and how he's only smart when the plot needs him to be, how does he go from being the dimmest bulb in the box to being able to be in AP biology or whatever class it was. it makes no sense at all

”scott pissed me off cause... is theo just a great liar or does scott just hate stiles? why would he believe theo so easily yet not ask for stiles’ part of the story?” Because Scott McCall is a toxic friend and an even shittier werewolf (he couldn’t even detect Theo’s cheap lies and let himself be played like a fiddle throughout Season 5) And because Stiles doesn’t cater to Scott’s delusions of werewolf Jesus-hood and doesn’t stroke Scott’s ego like Theo does. Scott simply chose to believe the worst of his neurodivergent best friend – the boy who risked his own life to save his whiny ass countless times – because it suited his agenda, and because he’s pissed that Stiles didn’t share his own trauma with him like Scott wanted and demanded. SCOTT: We can’t kill the people that we’re trying to save! There’s always a choice! And yet Scott has no problem conspiring with Deucalion (Boyd and Erica’s murderer) behind everyone’s back to assassinate Josh and Tracy AND trying (but failing) to kill Gerard – selling Derek and his Pack out to the hunters, violating Derek, and using Derek as his own personal murder weapon to achieve that – just because “He threatened my mom! I had no choice!” A True Hypocrite indeed

[creativeskullcreations]

Outside chapter 3: Food?

Third chapter is out! Not much to say about this one, expect that we finish up the day with some delicious Chinese takeout! Nothing heavy going on in here! Nope! Not at all!

When Stacy felt Scout was sufficiently distracted, she pulled her laptop out of her bag. 'Let's see, what was the group that guy was a part of? Vox I think...' She searched the group on Google, and found them almost immediately. She clicked the link to their website, and was struck by how professional it looked.

'So these guys are paranormal investigators...' From what the site said, they were a professional team that specialized in locating and researching. Specifically, they went after the newer, modern activity, like the Waygetter toys, or cursed animatronics.

'Where were you guys when I was a kid?' She shook her head. 'Focus, Stacy! Forget the past, focus on the present! You have a different problem to solve...<' She scrolled down and clicked on the contact button, which gave her an email address. She clicked over to her own email and typed in the address, but paused before writing anything.

'What do I even say to them? They didn't believe that Anthony guy, and he was one of them. Maybe if I send them proof...' Her eyes drifted to Scout, who was staring at the TV. Her attention was completely taken by the show, and she seemed oblivious to what Stacy was doing and thinking. 'A picture might not be enough, but maybe a video? But would she even agree to it? And could I even do that to her?'

Stacy shook her head, closing the laptop with a small sigh. 'I can't. Not right now. Maybe once things are settled...' She moved the computer to the side and stood up, stretching as much as she could. She then went into the kitchen and started digging through Sammy's fridge.

'Ugh, he's such a bachelor. There's nothing in here but some old lettuce and leftover soup. He'd better be buying groceries on his way back from work, or I'm telling Aunt Hannah he has no food again.' She closed the door, and then grabbed some bread and peanut-butter from the cupboard, and the last clean knife from one of the drawers. She quickly made herself a simple sandwich, cut it in half, then went back to the couch.

"Where'd you go?" Scout asked when she'd sat back down. She flopped over onto her lap, making Stacy jerk her plate up to keep it from getting hit. "You're missing the show!"

"I've seen it before, don't worry." Stacy assured her as she bit into the sandwich. "I'm not missing anything important."

"Hey, what's that?" She climbed into her lap and peered onto the plate, reminding Stacy of a cat. "Is that Host Food?"

"Yeah, it's a peanut-butter sandwich. I got hungry, and it was all Sammy had to eat, other than gross leftovers." She took another bite of sandwich, not really paying attention as Scout pulled the plate down a little. She watched the Puppet grab the other half of the sandwich 'Gross.', and examine it closely. Then, without warning, she tore a bite off and started chewing.

Stacy froze mid-chew, unsure of how to react. While she knew Scout had to have organs, she hadn't thought she actually could eat anything. It was quite surreal, watching a thing made of cloth chew and swallow real, human food.

"Hmm, not bad. Kind of sticky, though." She smacked her lips, then tore off another bite and turned back around to keep watching the show, leaving Stacy feeling like she'd smoked some of her cousin's weed. She shook the feeling off, though, deciding to come back to it at a later time. Like maybe when she'd actually had some weed.

Instead she finished her half of the sandwich(since she apparently only got to have half, now), and then pulled back out her laptop. She opened up a new doc, and started drafting up some plans.

'One way or another, I'm gonna figure this out.'

Several hours later, and Stacy had not figured it out. She had maybe one and a half pages of notes on the Puppets, most of which was on just Scout, and three different plans.

1. Go to the police.

-Too Risky for Scout

-Can lie about what's going on if needed

2. Ask Vox for help.

-Way too risky for Scout and me

-Can't lie to these guys about it

-They would know what they're doing tho

3. Arson.

-Has potential

-Can have a bon fire and roast marshmallows while we do it

-Could get arrested but might be worth it if we can get all the Puppets

-Might also be worth it just to see Scout try and eat a melty marshmallow

So far, plan number three was looking like the best one. It still wasn't the absolute best plan, but it was all they had at the moment. She'd have to talk to Will and see if he still had those gas cans in his garage.

"Hey, are you guys still here?" Stacy started at the sudden entrance of Sammy, surprised at how late it had gotten. She shut her laptop and put it to the side for now, standing up.

"No, we left and stole all of your soup." She told him. What you're seeing now is a hunger induced hallucination."

Sammy paused, the held up a plastic bag with a panda on it. "So you don't want the takeout I got?"

"Oooh, gimme!" Stacy rushed to snatch the bag from her cousin. She brought it over to the table, pausing briefly to pick Scout up from the couch. She started to set the food out while the Puppet settled over her shoulder, watching what she did. While she worked, she also pointed out what each different food was.

"So, all of this stuff is rice. We don't normally eat it, but they include it anyways with some of the meals. This is teriyaki chicken, and this is-"

"Stacy, really? Why would it even need to know what that stuff is?" Sammy tsked as he sat at the table and grabbed some noodle dish. "It's stuffed, and can't eat."

Stacy just stuck her tongue out at him and sat down. She picked up a pair of chopsticks and set about showing Scout how to hold and use them properly.

For awhile, they ate silently as Scout watched them, which Stacy personally thought was a little odd but didn't want to say anything. If the Puppet wanted to be weird, then she wasn't going to stop her. Sammy, on the other hand, soon fixed her with a hard stare and cleared his throat.

"So." Stacy looked up at him mid-chew, cheeks bulging. "What are you going to do when you get back to your apartment?"

She swallowed hard, putting on a more thoughtful expression. "Go back to class, tell Carol I can't do the article and why, maybe go tell the police about the psychopaths in the warehouse." She shrugged, digging out another bite of chicken from one of the boxes. "Y'know, stuff."

"And what about...?" He gestured to Scout with his chopsticks, and the Puppet glared back at him. Stacy, in a stroke of seldom seen genius, offered the Puppet her chicken before she could say anything.

"She's coming with me, of course. I live alone, so there shouldn't be a problem." Scout chomped down on the chicken, to Stacy's mild surprise. She quickly picked up some more food for herself. "Besides, Will is gonna love her. They're so much alike."

"Okay, ignoring the fact that you just fed that thing," Scout made an offended noise. "that sounds like a shit plan. There's no way in hell the police will believe you without proof."

"Fine, you're right. I have a back-up plan in the works, too." She thought back to her arson idea as she offered another bite to Scout. "But it needs work, so I can't put it in action yet." ‘And gasoline. Lots and lots of gasoline.’

"... Where's that food even going, anyways?" Both Sammy and Stacy turned to stare at Scout, who didn't even pause in her chewing to send them both a glare. Obviously, she wasn't going to be explaining anything, so Stacy turned back to her cousin.

"I have no idea. Don't think too hard on it."

'Don't think about why you're feeding her, either.' She ignored her own thoughts to shove some more food in her mouth. That was something to think about later. Or, perhaps, never. Never seemed like a much better time.

They finished their food, with Stacy giving Scout a few more bites, then boxed up the leftovers and put them in the fridge. Stacy then made Sammy get them a blanket because "It was too cold last night I almost froze to death!"

"It wasn't that bad, Stace." He told her, but fished out some spare bedding anyways. "It was near sixty."

"And yet, you had the air on or something. I swear it was colder than that in here." She insisted. She almost shivered just thinking about it. "You need to turn the AC off."

"The Ac's not on." He frowned at her, head tilted like he was studying one of his patients. "Maybe you're getting sick? You did spend God knows how long running around an abandoned warehouse with open wounds. I wouldn't be surprised if you caught something."

"God I hope not." She muttered, helping him spread the blanket out on the couch. "I gotta drive back to my apartment tomorrow. I don't wanna be sick while doing that."

"Well, if you do come down with something, promise me you'll go straight to the walk-in clinic or ER." Sammy told her seriously. "It could be something worse than a cold, like an infection from the stitches."

"Promises are curses." Stacy responded automatically. "But if something comes up, I will go to the walk-in. I don't wanna die after going through all of that bullshit."

"Wow, you're swearing. Must have been some pretty bad bullshit." He joked as he handed her a pillow. She resisted the urge to hit him with it.

"It was the second worst thing I've ever been through. It was horrible, and I hated it, but now it's over forever." Her eye twitched slightly as she placed the pillow on the couch, and saw Scout watching them from the side table. She was overcome with a childish urge to knock Scout over onto the pillow, which she quickly did.

"Wha-? Hey!" She pulled the blanket up over the Puppet, and heard a soft snort of amusement from Sammy.

"Are you ever going to grow up." He shook his head with a sigh as they watched the blanket covered lump move around.

"Nope!" She told him cheerfully. "I'mma be a kid forever!" She noticed the lump had stopped moving and leaned down, reaching for the blanket. "Uh, Scout? You oka-"

"DEATH FROM ABOVE!" Scout hit the back Stacy's head with far more force than necessary, knocking her onto the couch. She then bit onto the top of her head, though that didn't do much.

"AAUGH! How'd you even get up there?!?" She became aware of laughter and turned a death glare on her cousin. "Stop laughing! It's not funny Samuel!" She threw the pillow at him, but that didn't stop the almost hysterical laughter coming from him.

"Oh my God!" He gasped out, collapsing against the couch. "She just came out of nowhere! Holy shit!" He fell onto the floor while Stacy wrestled the apparently feral Puppet off of her head. She held her at arm's length, trying to simultaneously give her a disapproving look and check her over for injuries. It was hard to do, however, as she kept trying to bite her hand.

"Dude, seriously? That's not even gonna do anything to me..." She watched Scout thrash for a moment, actually struggling to hold onto her. "Okay, seriously, stop it right now, or you're going back under the blanket and I'm gonna sit on you." That got her to stop, but she kept up the death glare.

"Geez..." She looked over at Sammy, who was coughing on the floor, finally finished laughing. "It wasn't that funny..."

"It was fucking hilarious." He retorted between coughs. "Instant karma." He took a deep breath and started to pull himself up from the floor. "I like that Puppet." Stacy just sighed. "Whatever dude. Glad to know my pain is what made you like her." Unconsciously, she hugged Scout close and sat on the couch. She grabbed up the remote to turn Netflix back on, wanting a distraction from her humiliation. She let Scout drop onto her lap, and resisted the urge to drop her head into her hands.

'Defeated by a hand puppet. I'm never living this down.'

Sammy climbed up onto the couch seconds later, still wheezing. He went to speak, but another death glare shut him up before he could start. So he just shot her a smug look instead, holding out a hand for Scout to fist bump. "That was a pretty great move." He told the Puppet. Stacy ignored him, but heard a quiet "Hell yeah!" from Scout. "You should do it again the next time she does that."

"Do you want to die?" Stacy deadpanned, but Sammy just shrugged as he finally settled in to watch the show with them.

"Hey, it's just a suggestion." He couldn't keep that grin off of his face, and it was starting to annoy her.

"Whatever." She resolved to just ignore everything for now and watch the show. Sammy attempted a few more times to draw her into conversation, but quickly gave up when she didn't answer him and started watching too.

A few episodes later, however, and Sammy stood up and stretched. "Well, I need to get to bed, I have work tomorrow." He started towards his room. "I'll be gone by the time you two leave, so make sure you lock up tomorrow, okay?" "Kay. G'night Sammy." Stacy gave a halfhearted wave as he left, leaving Host and Puppet alone for the night.

"Leave?" Scout asked after they heard his door close. Stacy glanced down to see the Puppet staring up at her, a worried look on her face.

"Yeah. We gotta go home tomorrow." Stacy told her. "I gotta tell Carol about what happened at the HQ and find out what she wants me to do about that article. And then classes start back up soon, so I've gotta be back by then." "... I thought we were staying here." Scout said quietly, and Stacy felt a pang of... something. She wasn't sure what, but it made her feel bad and she decided right then that she hated it.

"Eh, it was more of a stopping point, really. Some place to get my mouth cut open and you off my hand." She shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. "And as much as I would love to hide here until I die, we can't actually stay on Sammy's couch forever. He doesn't have any food, and would expect me to clean."

"..." Scout was silent, and no longer paying attention to the show, instead staring down at her hands as she played with the hem of Stacy's shirt. The Human felt like she should say something, but didn't know what. Instead she stopped the show and turned off the TV, dropping the Puppet to the side and standing up.

"I'm gonna get ready and go to bed myself. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow, and I want to make sure I'm ready for it." She started towards the bathroom, almost missing the quiet "Okay." in reply. She hesitated at the doorway, but forced herself through anyways.

Scout would figure out it was better this way. Her apartment was even further from the HQ than Sammy's was, and thus safer than Sammy's. Plus, it would be better if it was just the two of them alone, and they could figure things out.

Things would get better, starting tomorrow.

They had to.

#hello puppets #fanfiction #outside #scout #stacy stein #sammy davis

[kuvvydraws]

I'm not sure if you've answered this question already, but I'm honestly very curious- why do you write fanfiction? I certainly enjoy it as much as you and have written a few things of my own, but I know it can be quite a personal topic for many writers. If it's too personal for you, don't feel any pressure to answer, but it's always interesting to see the writer's perspective outside of the story they've written :). I hope you understand what I'm trying to say-

Hey!

I actually enjoy the words and the rush your brain gets when they join without effort to create a reality.

Now, let me break that down XD

I've always had a book in my hands as far as my memory goes. My dad used to read to me when I was very little and from the second I could do it on my own, that was the best thing ever (yes, that means when I was punished for doing some shit, my books were taken away and I had to sneak them into my schoolbag and read in class like a heathen).

Not only I enjoyed books but I always found myself wanting to partake in the stories, and my brain was always running with the words and the scenes. (I discovered during my teenage years that brains have different ways to process thoughts and mine did it in words, so writing just sort of came naturally to me at that point in my life).

I discovered ffnet when I was 12, I think, but I had tried my hand at original works (that is, about five or six starts of different novels that never saw the light) and some "fanfiction" (about Nightmare Before Christmas because I had a big ass crush on Jack and I unassumingly created my first xReader ever) without knowing what the hell I was doing.

I just knew I wanted to write stuff and I did as much.

The thing is, I introduced one of my friends, who also loved to read and write, to ffnet, and we started writing together. The first thing we wrote was a Sesshomaru x OC fic, the second one was a Sasori x OC fic, and we dipped out toes into some Kuroshitsuji x OC...... all of them handwritten stories we promised we would type in a computer eventually (we didn't, they were horrible [I still have the notebooks we used for each of them and they are cringey as fuck]).

But we wrote for ourselves and we were happy like that.

So we were rampant and wild and having the best time. Back then I still wrote in Spanish (because I hardly knew any English and I didn't care for it), and I remember mixing Spain's Spanish with the ones from South America because obviously the percentage of writers in ffnet who used a different "dialect" Spanish was huge if you compare a single, tiny country with a whole continent.

At the same time I wrote with my friend, I wrote for myself. Naruto, Kuroshitsuji, Bleach, Hetalia.... And I met so many people, nice people, who loved my works (they were random fics, all of them x OC because I didn't know x Reader ones were a thing -they weren't at that time, and x Reader are harder to write in Spanish because all the words and pronouns are gendered one way or another-) and I got so much enjoyment from sharing them.

The thing about books I love the most is the fact that you can convey so many emotions with a few symbols, and you can create worlds out of ink and you can change views and inspire others. So, if none of my dumbass teenage novels were to roam the word, I still could share, in a free, open and fast way, my words with others.

Again, I was going to write them with or without posting them because I found -and still find- great pleasure when a scene creates itself in your brain and all you have to do to make it real is to write it down. (Sometimes my brain still does this and even when I'm daydreaming, my imagination is "written, described and dialogued" as if someone was reading a novel out loud. It makes writing so much easier).

And then I got hate.

I somehow had managed to miss all of the fandom drama that's so toxic in the internet because I didn't bother to interact with anyone in the fandoms beyond the reviews they left in my fics, and ffnet has a -sort of- specific search engine to help you find whatever you want, so I could never willingly find the "problematic stuff" because I was literally not trying to find it.

The hate comment I got was anonymous and very specific about everything that was wrong in a particular fic I had just updated -from plot and characterization to grammar and continuity-, and later on I discovered it came from a couple of authors who shared an account and who I admired greatly for their works. Turns out they were out for blood and hating on every fic that had updated that week and that had any members of their OTP shipped with some other character. (It was a Hetalia fanfic, I was writing SpUK and they were pro FrUk, if anyone is interested).

I was contacted by some other authors asking about this because they had gone through the very same thing -same specific hate, same hate comment- and I remember not giving a fuck.

I was 16 when I got the hate, writing for fun and trying to find a way to go through my shitty highschool days without falling into the black out of depression that haunted me. I remember not wanting to write anything anymore, leaving a fic I was very invested in writing to gather dust and rot in the forgotten folders of my computer because every time I tried to get on with it and progress, it felt wrong.

That thing I said about words just happening? It stopped. My brain was silent as a grave and trying to get my words out became painful. I remember struggling to even write regular project for my school.

I kept reading, of course -it was my only comfort and I really, really didn't want to give up on it-, but I abandoned the fandoms I enjoyed so much before. My new focus became the sci-fi, and I remember being hooked on Predator. Imagine my joy when I discovered there were thousands of works from that fandom! I was extasic.

Problem? They were written in English.

I didn't know shit about English besides being a language I was supposed to handle in school, memorize the unreasonably spelt words that were pronounced illogically regarding the fucking spelling and the stupid ass irregular verbs.

But I learnt English because I wanted a hot piece of alien ass XD

Back to the topic of fanfics, I still roamed ffnet, keeping 15 tabs open and reading until 5 am... But now there was a world of possiblities in front of me because of course everyone on this goddamn Earth writes in English.

So, for the next years I did that, and my words didn't come. It was fine, tho, because I had so many new things to read.

It wasn't until fall of 2018 that I dabbed into the idea of maybe considering to perhaps give writing a try again????? I was neck deep into Undertale -still am, I'm a shameless skeleton fucker and there's no cure for that shit- and its many AU's and somehow I had managed to avoid fandom wars again, so my brain started toying with words... The same way it worked with novels: I got myself into the fics other people wrote (this is so much easier to do with x Reader fics, and I'm so happy about that and the massive boom they had just when Undertale came out, you can't even understand it).

So I kept doing my shit and daydreaming about skeletons and ribs and ecto-stuff for a very long time. It was kinda reassuring and nice to see other writers projecting on their x Readers so much because that's what I had done before.

And then Good Omens happened.

As I've said before, I actually discovered Gomens back in 2012 and it is, to the date, the worst translation to Spanish I've seen in my entire life to this date. And, despite it, I fell in love with it.

Now, barely in 2019, my dad gets Amazon Prime and the first thing he fucking sees is the font of Gomens on the screen. I had fangirled hard about Gomens in book version, so much and so annoyingly that I wouldn't leave my dad alone until he gave it a chance. It's the only book my father hasn't finished because the translation is that bad. He hates it.

Yet.

The particular font they use for the show is the same from the book's title. My dad of course recognized it immediately and knew I would want in on the news.

I confess I watched Gomens the show at least seven times before giving it a break because I liked it so much and the novel was so fucking good and it's honest to God the best adaptation I've ever seen to the screen. It's so good I'm fucking sure I was crying actual tears after watching it for the first time because my dreams and all the feelings that book had given me over the years and the many re-reads were "true" and so well done and it reached deep into my heart.

And then, for the first time in six years, my words came back.

Another thing Good Omens has given me, I have to say.

I don't know if I can stress this enough, but just imagine spending six years of radio silence, sending longing stares to the void and hoping to see something yours returning back, something you've lost and you're not sure you're getting back, something you think you don't need or want but that would be nice to have again. If only. You can live without that something, and no one but you cares about it, and it's not that big of a deal and-

Then you see a spark in the dark.

My words came back.

They weren't in Spanish, and it was hard to manage them at first, only being able to listen to them in short bursts over long periods of time.

But they were my words and they were back.

Writing is still hard, and I have a lot of work to do to improve my skills, to get them not only back but to refine them because I'm not writing in my native language and all I know is what I've learnt from other authors and their knowledge. I project a lot on my projects -I don't intend to stop because it's such a relief, the biggest scape from reality I get by doing so; it helps me deal with my problems, it gives me a break and a way to take a breath when I can't keep going...

Fanfics are where I can say what I want to say to the world in the most honest way, and that allows me to be me, and to express myself and indulge in the fantasies I dream about without having to force myself to think of them over and over and over. I can just sit back and enjoy content I know I like without being judged for it.

I can fucking make that content, too.

Writing feels like home, even if sometimes I still struggle, if I can't find my words or the expression is not quite like that in English, or if I can't find the words or if I'm suffering a block... because there's nothing scarier and more free than a blank page ready to be written.

#this is long as fuck #sorry for the trip because damn that's some heavy backstory i just puked #i still have my ffnet account but its been years since I've used it #only for predator and hp content i have to say #i have over 600 bookmarks there but who cares #kuvvytalks about some personal crap

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #285

"do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?”

What does your car smell like? You assume I have a car. Would you ever let anybody else drive your car? ^ Have you ever met someone in person who you first met on the internet? Do you have plans to do that anytime soon? Yes, Sara. I want to visit her again, but right now I have no clue when that will happen. I have another friend that wants me to shoot her wedding that was planned for this year, but it was delayed to an unknown date, so. What was the last thing you used a blender for? A margarita. Have you ever got into an argument with a stranger on social media? Do you remember what it was about? Yep. There's been a couple. Has COVID had any impact on your Christmas plans this year? What’s going to change or be different to normal? Yes. Mom and I aren't coming while Ashley's inlaws are there at her house, and then I think we're going to my other sister's since she wants to cook? I've only really overheard Mom over the phone, I'm not 100%. I'm just. Going with it. What’s your favourite flavor of cake? Are you any good at making that kind of cake? Probably red velvet, or just double chocolate. I dunno. I love cake. I don't cook, though. Are you currently under any COVID-related restrictions where you live? Are people generally following the rules? Well, you're SUPPOSED to wear a fucking mask, but "it's a hoax" and "you can't make me" fuckheads don't listen, and it's poorly-enforced. You see people without them all the time. Do you still watch cartoons? I'm not opposed, I just don't watch television. Is anyone else in the same room as you right now? What is that person up to? No. Do you use Pinterest? Ha, I get most of my (unedited) avatars from there. It also gives me some pose ideas for photography. Are you wearing earrings? Ugh, no. I absolutely hate how the first holes stretched from heavy earrings. I need to get a proper tapering set if I want to actually use gauges (mind you, very small) so they look even semi-good again. I don't wear any in the second/upper holes because I think it just looks weird with nothing in the first. Do you know any sign language? Not anymore. In elementary school, we did do a play however where in one of the songs, we signed the lyrics. I remember zero. Have you ever gone on a service trip to an underprivileged country? No. Which breed of dog do you find most scary? None. Ever been to a pottery class? Not particularly, no. I've made pottery in normal art classes multiple times, though. When you were young, did you ever pretend to “marry” somebody? I have no idea. I don't have a specific memory. Don’t you just find it annoying when people get too much plastic surgery? Oh, fuck off. Is it your body? Is it there to boost YOUR confidence? Then your opinion doesn't fuckin matter. Are you the type who usually plays it safe? Yep. Who do you think about most? It's certainly not willingly, but Jason. PTSD kinda engraved his presence in my brain. How’s your grandmother? Both are dead. What’s your favourite type of cloud? Big, tall, and poofy cumulonimbus ones. Do you have a birthmark? Where? Does it look like anything? Yeah, a slightly darker brown blotch on the side of my right forearm, near the elbow. If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Probably people smiling. My nieces' and nephew's came to mind first. What is your most disappointing moment in life? I've been living it for years now. I'm not who I wanted or thought I would be at all. What is the best reward anyone can give you? Validation lmao. What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Meerkats, always. God, I can barely boil it down to three words. Loyal, complex, and brave will have to do. What is your favorite color? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Pink. Soft, pretty, gentle. What do you consider to be the most valuable thing you own: when you were a child/teenager/now? As a child, my big plastic crocodile named Marlin (yes, after the Finding Nemo character) that was the "main character" in my games of make-believe. As a teen, probably Rebel, the stuffed meerkat Jason gave me. Now, it's absolutely the pebble I got upon "graduation" from my partial hospitalization program. What’s the kindest act you have ever seen done? I'm not sure; I've seen a good deal. Thinking of only the ones I've seen in-person, uhhhh... wait. A couple days before my overdose, in desperation, I called Jason's house in the middle of the night wanting to talk to him. His mom answered, and she talked to me for hours with such patience and kindness to try and calm me down. I miss her a lot. Is Frozen one of your favorite Disney movies? No, I never really liked it. If you were an explorer, would you rather explore the Arctic Circle, Antarctica, or Alaska? Ohhh, Alaska. It's gorgeous and at least not absolutely frigid everywhere. How many blankets do you sleep with in the winter? I usually just have my usual thick comforter, but if I'm seriously cold, I'll grab another smaller one to wrap myself in underneath the big one. Do you know of anyone who was in labor or gave birth to a baby during a major snowstorm? HAHA my mama w/ me. Do you enjoy eggnog during the winter - with or without alcohol? EW. Do you dress any of your pets in seasonal/holiday apparel? No; I really dislike the concept of dressing your animals unless it's truly for their own benefit/warmth. Who was the last person to give you a gift? What was the reason for it? Uhhhhh. I have no idea. Are you a good cook? If so, who taught you? What’s your favourite thing to cook? NOOOOOOO. When was the last time something in your house broke? Did you manage to fix it or did you need to buy a replacement? Ugh, my laptop is fucked up. It's either the charger port, charger itself, or Mom thinks perhaps the battery. Her friend's husband is gonna look at it after Christmas. Is any part of your body hurting right now? What caused that pain? For once my legs aren't hurting. They almost always do from either muscle atrophy or them having been still for too long. The last time you made a sandwich, what did you put in there? It was just a normal 'ole peanut butter sandwich. What’s your favorite time of day? What’s your favorite thing to do at that time? First thing in the morning, because it feels like a new start. I like watching the sky change from pinkish to blue while I'm just sitting in bed checking everything. Where did you go the last time you left your house? I rode with Mom to her doctor's appointment. I didn't go in w/ her for obvious reasons, I just wanted to go on a ride and listen to music. If you eat steak, how do you like it cooked? What sauces or sides do you like to go with it? It has to be medium well. Idk what sauces are cooked into it that I like, because I don't make it. I like fries with steak, and probably Sara's mom's mashed potatoes would go well, haha. Do you prefer sweet or savory pancakes? What toppings do you have on them? I can't imagine me liking savory pancakes... I just like the usual: butter (not mandatory tho) and syrup. Are you someone who cracks their joints a lot? Which one(s) do you tend to crack and click the most? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO, I HATE THE NOISE SO MUCH. My lower spine pops a lot, though. Some fingers occasionally, too. Have you ever taken medication or tablets to help you sleep? Is this something you do on a regular basis? Yeah, I was taking Melatonin to fight insomnia for quite a while. I only stopped it because my mom was theorizing that it may have been making my nightmares worse, because her dad had AWFUL nightmares on it. I don't know if it did or didn't foor me, honestly. For you, what’s the worst thing about getting up in the morning? What about the worst thing about going to bed tonight? Knowing in the back of my mind that despite my hope, today's going to be the same as yesterday. I dread most nights the process of lying down and actually falling asleep, because it can take hours. Do you prefer regular or diet soft drinks? Not only do I think diet sodas taste bad, but the artificial sweetener gives me awful headaches, anyway. What do you tend to wear if you’re just hanging about the house for the day? I'm only always in my pjs. When was the last time you dyed your hair? Did you do it yourself or get it done at a hairdresser? Ugh... it's been a very, very long time. It was done by a hairdresser, but per usual, the color didn't stick well. I am DYING to bleach my hair so I can dye it pastel pink, light silver, or like a creamsicle orange. I edited some pictures of myself to "try" these colors on, and omg I loved them all. Does having to wear a mask stop you doing things? Is this because you struggle wearing one or you just don’t like it? Not really, no. I barely go anywhere at all though, so I have Have you ever witnessed a car accident? Or have you perhaps been involved in one yourself? Were you at fault? Yes; yes; no. How many books do you read in a year? Do you enjoy reading or do you have to really force yourself to sit down and read? VERY few. I've only just gotten back into semi-regularly reading since Sara got me into Wings of Fire. I have one friend though that is an INCREDIBLE bookworm; she keeps track of how many books she's read in a year, and she's already beyond one a day. It's incredible. If you have pets, where did they come from? A breeder, a rescue or maybe a friend who bred their pet? Roman came from Ashley's inlaws'. They have like an infestation of cats needing to be spayed, so they didn't at all mind letting me have one because I'd been wanting a cat for a long time. I love my baby boy so much. Venus came from The Gourmet Rodent, a snake breeding (and F/T rat provider, as the name suggests) business from Florida. I highly recommend them. Their customer service was fantastic when I was worried about Venus not eating. They even checked up with me a few months following my emails to ensure she was doing well. Have you ever seen an episode of My 600lb Life? No. I absolutely NEVER could. As an obese person who's been fighting her fucking ass off to lose weight for years, I don't want to be further depressed. Do you feel bad when someone asks you to hang out and you say no? Oh yes I do. Ngl, if I don't want to hang for whatever reason, I'm the kind that makes up an excuse to not seem *as* "rude" (quotations bc it's technically not rude at all, anxiety just tells me it is). When was the last time you turned down plans with someone? What did you decide to do instead? Ummmm I'm not sure. Have you ever had any “unusual” or exotic pets? If you could own any animal, what would it be and why? Do you consider iguanas or Chinese water dragons as "exotic/unusual?" Nothing stranger than that, really. I would never, ever own a truly exotic animal that wouldn't do well in captivity. I do however pretty desperately want to rescue an opposum one day, though. I positively adore them; they're my second-favorite animal. How often do you wash your hair? I don't even have a regular schedule for that anymore, honestly... I have to every time I shower because my hair gets oily FAST, but I try to put off showers as long as I can handle now because of how bad my selfcare has been for multiple reasons... What have you found the hardest about the current pandemic? Not seeing an end in sight because people are fucking dumb. Shit's not going to get better unless things drastically change. And what about the easiest? Has anything improved in your life because of what’s happened? Certainly nothing has improved. Not much has changed for me, considering I barely ever left the house to begin with. If you have multiple pets, do they get along with each other? Are they related or even the same species? They ignore each other, really. Surprisingly, even. Roman will sit on my bed and watch Venus slither about occasionally if she's out, even meerkat pose haha, and playful as he is, it's unexpected that he *does* mostly ignore her. What was the last meal you ate? Did you have anything good? Breakfast; I had Special K cereal. I've finally started to get back on track with eating okay. Do you live somewhere where strangers say hi to you in the street? Would you like to live somewhere like that? Where we live now, if you pass someone outside in the car, it's normal and really expected to give a little wave. That's very normal here in the South though, really; you don't just have to be in your own neighborhood. Have you ever tried any of those meal replacement shakes? The chocolate Equate ones are normal in my diet, actually. They're really not bad at all and played a big role in me losing ~60lbs before. Funnily enough, I haven't found a popular name brand I like, though. Cheap stuff isn't always bad. Do you make up silly nicknames for your pets or family members? "Silly" ones, not really, besides Roman. I call him "weirdo" and "crazy" a lot, but nothing truly unique. What’s your favorite thing to take photographs of? Are you actually any good at photography? Nature or boudoir (only shot it once, but I love it and the confidence it gives people). Being as modest as possible, I honestly do think I'm pretty good at it. Do you have anything interesting planned for the rest of the day? How about for tomorrow or the weekend? I haven't had anything interesting planned in eons, it seems like. Are you going to take the vaccine for COVID once it becomes available? Once it proves to be reliable and safe, hell yes. I'm doing my goddamn part in ending this shit. How much housework have you done lately? Is this more or less than usual? A bit more than usual since I haven't finished decorating my room since moving... I've been doing it very slowly and gradually. I need to just finish it already, I'm just so unmotivated. What gifts are you hoping to get for your next birthday (or Christmas, whichever one is coming up next)? I'm fucking dying to get my tat redone/improved. Been waiting since LAST Christmas when I didn't get to use my own gifted money. Do you suffer from any form of motion sickness? No. Do you contribute regularly to any Facebook groups at all? "I’m a member of plenty, but hardly ever post." <<<< Same. I react to posts a lot, though. Just don't really make my own. When was the last time you weighed yourself? Were you happy with the numbers you saw? Ugh... when I went to the doctor I think last week. I knew it'd be bad, but the verification fucking sucked. Since moving, I've gained ~30lbs. Have you got any chronic health issues? What do you do to try and manage them as best you can? YIKES I am a CATASTROPHE. I've got a dictionary of mental health issues that I'm not gonna go through individually, but I deal with them via prescription medications and therapy and sheer will. Who taught you how to drive? My driver's ed teacher. It was mandatory in HS. What was your high school mascot? A firebird. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. What did you do after graduation? I very briefly went to a community college. What was your first job? GameStop sales associate. If my social anxiety wasn't fucking shit, I probably would have liked it. What did you want to be when you grew up? Somewhat in order: paleontologist, vet, movie director, game designer, animal biologist, video editor (VERY brief), and photographer. Writer, poet, and artist were always something I wanted to do in my free time OR full time if I was lucky. Do you remember the first time you drank a beer? I've never tried beer and don't want to. It smells fucking awful, and because my dad is a recovered alcoholic who was addicted to that in specific, I just want nothing to do with it. Did you ever try cigarettes? No. I have absolutely never understood the appeal, but with a very addictive personality and wild anxiety, I never wanted to risk it, anyway. How did you spend your summers growing up? LOADS of swimming in the pool, jumping on the trampoline, and just playing outside in general. If you could change anything from your teenage years, would you? I'd absolutely change how I found happiness only in Jason. Do you remember your first time? No, because at that time, I didn't really realize it was sex. I know that sounds weird, like "how would you not know?", but just trust me. I don't feel like retrospecting on it. I do remember our first *kiss*-kiss, though. How much did you make per hour at your first job? I don't recall. Favorite home-cooked meal growing up? I looooved spaghetti. Favorite place to eat out growing up? McDonald's, duh, lol. Did your parents live in a different country before you were born? No. They were from different states, though. Do you have a preferred coffee brand? Don't like coffee. Have you ever dated someone who was terrible with money? No. How often do you paint your nails? Never. Do you know anyone who's related to a current or former world leader? Not that I know of. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? I don't pay taxes because I'm unemployed. What is something you don't have any natural talent for? Speaking. At all. What is something you frequently forget? "Numbers." <<<< BIG fat same. How do you feel about your body? How much I hate it is on my mind literally every waking moment of my life to some degree. Who is someone you would like to get to know better? So I have this Facebook friend Courtlynn who seems very similar to me, and I'd love to get to know her better. We interact via posts here and there, but have never seriously talked. What's your opinion on assisted suicide? I am very much for it when a person is in serious pain and recovery is not possible. Like one of my greatest nightmares is being paralyzed from the neck down, and I stg I would spite whichever fucker had jurisdiction over me living. That would be absolute torture for me. At what point do you consider a relationship to be "long-term?" A year, so long as you were consistently together. Stable. What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? My dad's been a mailman my entire life, and he had a second job at Lowe's for a while as a carpenter. He hated it. Mom worked with computer data at the hospital when I was very young, and then she was an assitant and special needs teacher for a long time. Do they still have these jobs? Or different jobs? Or have they retired? ^ about Dad. It's his only job now. Mom is currently on disability. Do you have a cell contract plan, or are you on a pre-paid plan? Would you believe me if I said I'm unsure? Haha. I use a Tracfone, and my mom takes care of whatever plan comes with that, so idk. Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? Mom, absolutely. I'm unsure about Dad. I mean he wouldn't *seriously* care so long as they were good to me, but I think he might still be kinda racist. Or he just jokes about it a lot (which should not be joked about, btw). Do you like when friends stop by unexpectedly? "No way lol. I’m very much of a loner and want to be “prepared” to spend time with people." <<<< Absolutely this. How strong are your feelings for the last person you kissed? I love her very, very much. What was the last thing someone else bought for you? Food, I'm sure. Are you attracted to the last person you exchanged numbers with? I haven't seen a picture of her in years, so I have no idea. I remember she was beautiful, though. Is music a daily part of your life? Not daily, no. Some days I only watch YT videos instead of listen to music. What do you think of country music? Not a fan at all. It's ironic considering it was my favorite genre as a little kid. There's the occasional country song I like (mostly ones from my childhood, though), but those are few and far between. Tim McGraw, now, I love. Did you go to your high school’s graduation? Yeah, even though I didn't want to. I didn't care enough about the actual ceremony. Who was the last person to message you on Facebook? What would you do if that person told you they have feelings for you? That would be the woman I took family pictures for. She's married and we barely know each other, so I can assure you she doesn't. When you apply your make-up, do you do it in a specific order? On the very rare occasion I wore makeup, yes. Eyeliner, usually eyeshadow, mascara, and most rarely, black lipstick. Does it matter to you if your significant other smokes? Yes. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Mom, I think. Do you like where you are in life right now? HA. Is your mom overbearing? No.

#survey #quiz #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''basket case'' by green day