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#still trying to do the one poem a week thing :)
laneaconite · 2 months
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So-Cal
Palm trees next to evergreens, Tesla model T's next to beat up '99 Honda Civics.
I ride my grandma's bike to campus, been hit once, almost twice. It was a white car.
“Every car here is white,” I say She says I exaggerate. I do, it's true, but I say “It's intentional.”
“Hyperbole, exaggeration for emphasis.” I write myself like dialogue: I'm the book, but I'm not open. Opaque, a liar.
Her car is white, She's been hit six times “But,” I say, “I'll try.”
-Lane Aconite,
November 15th 2022
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courtingchaos · 5 months
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I’ve been thinking about eddie who’s in the early pre relationship stages with you. but in his mind he’s married to you he’s been pining after you for so long. he doesn’t want to scare you though so he’s pumping the breaks and trying to take things slow.
you’re spending the night at his and he’s managed to keep enough distance from you that he deems respectful in his courtship of you. but when he wakes it’s to your hand high on his thigh, and you’re out for the count. and he’s hard as a rock and needs to move you before you wake up and see what state he’s in.
not wanting to wake you and alert you to his issue he thinks on his feet and decides he has to become soft asap, then he can move you. then if you wake up it’s not going to be to him feeling like a complete pervert.
so he’s reciting his favourite passages from all of the books he’s read.
only it’s not doing much. the pretty girl in his bed is winning this round.
he starts reciting them backwards to increase the difficulty and hopefully distract the ache away. but in his ingenuity to up the anti he’s inadvertently made it so tough that he’s now whisper shouting the words out loud. waking you. eddie still hard as a rock reciting poetry in a wicked order that makes no sense to man nor beast, is stopped abruptly in his tracks, gasping at the feel of your palm squeezing the meat of his inner thigh. Mortified and yet. Still painfully erect with no hope of going down anytime soon
sorry to vomit this at you but it seemed like fate that you’d asked for a request (this is far too long and detailed I’m sorry) and I was thinking about this at the same time
1. Don’t apologize, you’ve struck gold. You have not dug too greedily nor too deep.
2. You’ve written this really well so I could just post this with a bunch of reactions under it but, if you’ll allow me to expand upon this.
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Picture this with me okay? He’s reciting Jabberwocky to himself. It’s a nonsense poem. He had an English teacher once give out a project for them to learn and recite a poem and of course he chose this. It has fun words in it like vorpal and borogoves. It’s become one of his bits actually when he’s trying to command a room.
“Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:”
Everyone will sigh. Jeff and Gareth and Frank will drop their heads onto their desks or over the backs of their chairs in long groans. Dustin still thinks it’s fun, he hasn’t gotten tired of it yet, and Mike likes it he just won’t admit it. Eddie loves it though, likes the way slithy toves slides off his tongue when he puts on that creaking voice he uses for warlocks durning games.
Now though he mumbles it to himself in the dark, his ludicrous attempt at bringing down his mood. Something had woken him at the witching hour, 3:07 shining a bright green from across his room. He wasn’t cold, his window shut against the chill earlier when you’d come over. He wasn’t overheated, quite content with you softly cuddled up next to him. No itch or ill folded sheet causing him discomfort. He had seven solid minutes of waking, a few he spared to revel in the heat of you lying next to him. To feel your shoulder lying on his as you pressed your face into his pillow. Your knee bent up and almost over his own and your hand planted firmly on his thigh.
Oh. That.
Those fingers he liked to twirl around his own and lick salt off of when you were done with your fries? Those fingers were under the hem of his boxers and a very much pressing into the meat of his thigh. You don’t move except to breathe but all he can focus on is that hand literal inches from his dick. The dick he’d kept in check for weeks now in the hopes he wouldn’t chase you away with the absolute need he felt. Kind of like right now where it lays heavy and hot against his thigh just like your hand.
So Jabberwocky it is.
’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
But in the dark with a hard on, slithy toves makes him chuckle. Almost full on giggle and he slaps a hand over his mouth to keep himself quiet. Slithy toves sounds like a euphemism for pussy and he can’t help the huffs of laughter pushed through his nose. He looks down in the hopes that this has distracted his dick but apparently laughter makes him harder and he files that away to look into at a later date. Borogoves floats through his brain and he immediately thinks about giving your boobs a new nickname and he has to put a foot down for himself.
Next verse.
“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”
Bandersnatch has to be a euphemism, there’s no goddamn way, it has the word snatch in it. He rolls his eyes and before he can sigh you shift beside him in your sleep, closer with your nose in his curls on his pillow and that soft hand he’s thought about when his own is too boring in the shower scoots another inch closer to the problem.
Maybe if he whispers it out loud?
“He took his vorpal sword in hand;-”
Absolutely not. Nope. New plan when he feels your sleeping breath across the front of his throat. It ghosts over his adams apple and all he can think about is your lips on his neck last week and how he’d pulled at his hair after you’d left just because it drove him insane.
Maybe if he recited it backwards it would confuse him enough all the blood would need to race back up into his brain.
“Outgrabe…raths…the-no…mome the and…” He’s squinting hard in the dark, reading invisible words on the ceiling in this new attempt to circumvent disaster.
“Borogoves…ha. Damn it. Borogoves…the were…mimsy all.” A headache is all this is giving him but for a moment he’s forgotten your hand and where it was. He’s searching the next line in his head and trying to jumble it so it isn’t so halting in the early morning quiet.
“Wabe the in gimble and gyer did!” He almost claps his hands when he makes it through without pause but he stops himself for fear of waking you up. Instead he spends 20 minutes working his way backwards through his poem, whispering to the night about the Jabberwock.
O frabjous day indeed when he realizes his dick is half soft now, not such a nuisance and a terror after he’s distracted himself. He thinks about waking you gently, a hand brushing your hair away from your face or running lightly over your leg but then you move. You move of your own accord and hook your leg over his. Kneecap bumping your hand higher and if he breathed wrong right this second you’d be brushing fingertips over his balls.
“And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,”
He mutters without whisper. It’s not full volume speaking but he really doesn’t want you to wake up and find him hard and awake with your hand shoved up his shorts. As much as he would really love to feel your hands on him like that he’s been trying his best to be gentlemanly. Only necking on your timetable when you steal him away to a quiet corner. A little over the pants stuff, heavy petting but you’ve never pushed it and it won’t make you uncomfortable, no matter what his dick wants him to do.
“Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!”
Eddie sighs. “Jesus Christ.”
“Hm?” You hum at him. A high note in the back of your throat that has him whipping his head to see you stirring. Adjusting to your side and dra-a-agging that hand. He doesn’t know what to do as you come around and blink up at him in the dark. He can see the edges of your expression from the light filtering in from outside, smooth brow and faint smile until it isn’t.
“Di’ yousay sumthin’?” Slurred against his shoulder where your mouth is pressed.
“Uh, kind of.”
“You okay?” You press up against him, your pelvis into his hip and he’s about to be caught. There’s no way you aren’t going to notice the outline in his boxers or the way he’s gotta be sweating gallons just in nerves.
“I…yeah?”
“What’s the ma-” You shift to prop yourself up so you can sleepily inspect him and he wants to subsequently die and sigh happily when your hand meets trouble. “Oh.”
Oh. Oh? Oh yeah, no big deal, it’s just his dick showing up to ruin the party like the world’s worst frat guy. “Look, I was trying to make it go away and I-“
“Why?” Having just woken up your voice is soft in a deep way. Scratchy from dry air but it fits the mussed hair and the rucked up t-shirt you have on. His gaze falls on the sliver of stomach that you’re showing off between the covers and he’s having a hard time coming up with an answer.
“Why?”
“Is there an echo in here?” You laugh and slide your palm over his stomach that tenses. “Yeah, why.” Your pinky catches the hem of his thin shirt and pulls it up to reveal his own section of underbelly. “We’re alone right?”
“Y-yeah.” It comes out like a hiss though because your nails scratch across that newly revealed skin and right over the trail of hairs below his belly button. “We don’t have to do anything.”
“I know.”
“I just don’t uh, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
Your fingers move back and forth over his stomach before you let them dip back down to the waistband of his boxers, fingertip seeking under the elastic ever so slightly. “You’ve been very patient Eddie.” The rings on your hand are body warm but hold a child to them when they glide over skin. “I think we just had a little misunderstanding at first though.” Fingers comb through wiry hairs on their search for their prize. “I’ve been trying to do this since you asked me out, but I thought you wanted to wait.”
“Oh my god, no. I mean yes, because I thought that’s what you wanted but I read into things too much sometimes bec-ause fuck.” He was running his mouth but then you’d grabbed him. Wrapped that dreamy hand around his cock and sighed into his cheek like you were the one experiencing earth shattering euphoria.
“Eddie I’ve wanted to do this for months.” A slow tug to the tip and you do something with your fingers that makes his mouth hang open in a silent plea. Another twist before you run your thumb over his slit and he grabs your wrist.
“This is gonna be over so quick if you keep that up.”
“Well that’s not so bad, I was still a little tired.” Highlights pick up the line of your lips and that sleepy smile that’s all for him. Heavy lashes flutter when he lets you go and shoves his shorts down to give you room to work. “You can get me back when we wake up.”
He throbs in your grasp at the promised idea of getting you back and all that entails. He can’t help himself but think of wet and warm places while your hand moves in languid strokes. Hot puffs of air across his chest where you lay your head to watch and then he’s watching you watching yourself and falling into a vortex of horniness. He wants to weave his fingers into your hair for some reason. Wants to feel the softness between his fingers while you rub velvet skin through your own.
“Eddie?” You pant into his shirt, lips catching and dragging on the cotton.
“Yeah?”
“What were you reciting?”
It almost pulls him out of his pleasure it’s jars him so. Briefly he thinks about lying and saying Shakespeare but you’re already giving him a 3 am handjob so he thinks he might not have to fib. “Jabberwocky.”
“Alice in Wonderland?” Your hand leaves his cock suddenly but he doesn’t get to whine about it before he’s whining about you licking your palm and getting back to work. He nods above you like you could see him but it earns him a chuckle from you and a stray few fingers that tug at his balls.
“God damnit yes.” He does push his hand into your hair then, the other fisting into the sheets beside him. You make a passing remark about reciting it then but he honestly might not even know his own name. The way his legs move restlessly against the bed and his fingers grip into your scalp. The damp slide of your palm over the head of his cock, the twisting motion you keep doing, it’s all rocketing him towards his finish. The burn of it in his belly clouding his senses and making him buck his hips up into your touch. The air of your breath keeps breezing over his overheated skin and your panting laughs are shoving him closer and closer until he’s squeezing his eyes shut and going stiff.
Warm lines splash up his stomach and he knows in a minute or two he’ll feel shame unmatched by man heretofore known but right now he couldn’t care. Soft hands drag him through the aftershocks while you make praiseworthy noises into his chest. You coo at him for a job well done and he can feel the heat rise on his cheeks. Sitting up again to look back at him your drag a finger through the mess he made and when you take three seconds to inspect it he doesn’t expect you to bring it to your lips.
“I-“ He what? What can he say while he watches you suck on your index finger like he does? When a slick grin hooks the corner of your mouth up into something devilish and he has an awakening at almost 4 am.
“How was that, huh? Glad we got that over with?” You drop your cheek to your shoulder to give him a smolder but Eddie needs to taste your lips after you’ve tasted him. It’s a need not a want so he rushes you, pushes you back into the bed and gets his mess everywhere but it doesn’t matter. He kisses you deep until you both have to come up for air and then he’s peppering your neck in them until your giggling is too much.
He uses his shirt to wipe himself off, promising a shower in the morning, and pulls both of you under the covers to conspire in the afterglow.
“Do you think reading that poem is gonna Pavlov you now?”
“How so?”
“I mean,” your laugh cuts into your explanation, “slithy toves kind of sounds like a name for-“
“Pussy! I know!” He laughs with you. “And Bandersnatch!”
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marvelsmylife · 1 month
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Begin again
Pairing: Azriel x reader
Plot: Azriel grants you your wish of being left alone for a while. The second the times up though, he starts his plan to win you back.
A/n this is the last part to Damned if you do, Damned if you don’t story. I would like to remind you that my requests are open (please try to send in fluffy or smut requests. I need to chill out on angsty stories for a while 😂😂😂)
Warning: fluff
Part One Part Two Bonus Scene
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Clinging onto the hope you gave him the night of the dinner party, Azriel gave you the space you asked for and settled with giving you three weeks. He was still a wreck during those three weeks, but he spent that time planning the perfect way to win you back. When the three weeks were up, he set his plan into motion.
It started out small. He was leaving you roses by your front door with a note that included a happy memory you shared. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the memories he wrote down, from the first day you met to the first book he ever bought you just because he saw it and thought you might enjoy it.
You couldn’t believe he remembered the tiny moments you shared together and started feeling bad that you had been ignoring him for two years. You knew that any other male would have moved on if they were in Azriel’s position. Yet he stayed loyal to you, and while he was over the top while he begged for forgiveness he never once stopped fighting for you or your forgiveness.
He then resorted to the one thing he told Cassian he would never do, writing poems for you. Granted, they weren’t that great when he started writing them, but by the sixth week, he had you swooning by the time you finished reading the poem.
The best part was that he actually got help from some of your students. Every day, he would approach one of them and ask if they could hand you the poem and give you a beautiful set of either earrings or a necklace. The students would be excited that the spymaster of the night court asked them for a favor and were more than happy to deliver the poem, along with a few jewelry pieces.
Azriel would watch from a distance as you read the poem and held the piece of jewelry against your chest.
The next thing Azriel did was stop by the old dance studio you attended and properly apologize to your old instructor. He apologized for his actions and explained what drove him to do what he did.
Azriel was surprised when your old instructor accepted his apology and told him he would let you know that Azriel apologized to him. Of course, Azriel told him he didn’t have to do that, that he did it because it was the right thing to do. “The apology might be two years late, but at least you did it. Most males would never apologize in the first place, let alone an Illyrian male.”
Even though Azriel told him he didn’t have to, your old instructor stopped by your studio and informed you that Azriel apologized to him: “He seemed so remorseful for his actions. Do you ever plan on forgiving him?”
“I already have,” you confessed and started playing with the necklace Azriel had gifted you a few weeks back: “The thing is, I'm scared that he is going to resent me again and take his anger out my studio because I built a career out of something I’m passionate about. I love teaching dance too much just to go back to being the spymaster's mate.”
“Why can’t you be both?” your instructor pointed out: “Be the spymaster's mate AND an amazing dancing teacher.”
You went home that night replaying the conversation and wondered if your old instructor was right.
His big move came six months later. He had gotten wind that you were now providing private lessons for fae’s who were too shy to learn around other people. They would have to pay in order to receive those private lessons, but they were reasonably priced.
You thought others wouldn’t want to pay for private lessons after attending your other classes for free. You were surprised when all of your openings for private lessons were booked for the foreseeable future.
You were getting ready to teach someone late at night when you spotted Azriel walking through the front door: “Azriel! What are you doing here? I have a private lesson in five minutes.”
“I’m the one who requested the private lesson,” Azriel confessed: “Teach me everything you know about the thing you love the most.”
A smile formed on your face at Azriel’s request, and you were more than happy to oblige. You started teaching him the basics and were surprised at how fast he learned to dance. “Look at you,” you beamed at Azriel: “You’ll be a better dancer than me in no time.”
“Not possible,” Azriel stared lovingly at you.
By the end of the lesson, Azriel had his arms around your body, holding you close to him. He was enjoying having you in his arms after being denied it for years. “I’ve missed you so much, my love,” Azriel spoke into your hair before getting ahold of your chin and making you look into his eyes: “I am nothing without you.”
Azriel found himself staring at your lips and was tempted to lean in and kiss you, but he didn’t want to overstep and potentially ruin all of the progress he had accomplished thus far.
To his surprise, you were the one that pulled him into a kiss. He didn’t complain. As a matter of fact, he took control of the kiss immediately and had you pinned against the mirrored wall. 
You let out a soft moan at Azriel’s action and found yourself pressing yourself against his body, desperate for his touch. “I really am sorry for all the pain I have caused you these past couple of years,” Azriel whispered as he cradled your neck: “I never realized how much I needed you in my life until you left me. I was such a fool for saying such hurtful things to you.”
A small smile appeared on your face at Azriel’s apology: “That’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear you say. Thank you for apologizing and for all the flowers and poems you’ve sent me these past few months.”
“Can you come home now? Our house is not a home without you in it” Azriel begged, his scarred hands were now tangled in your hair.
“Yes, I will come home,” you replied before a mischievous smile appeared on your face: “But what do you say we spend the night here, just for tonight?” Azriel was going to question why you would want to sleep in your studio when you tapped on the mirror behind you. “You have always said it would be nice to fuck in front of a mirror. Well, we have one right here.”
“Have I told you how much I love you yet?” Azriel groaned before leaning in and capturing your lips again.
A/n. Let me know if you guys would be interested in a bonus scene with the reader, Azriel, and that mirror.
@byyalady @sheblogs @janebirkln @starsinyourseyes @cumuluscranium @honeybee54321 @pussyistasty-blog @azriels-shadowsinger @anuttellaa @pussyistasty-blog @fightmedraco @aunicornmademedoit @esposadomd @thelov3lybookworm @harrystylesfan2686 @sarawritestories @fxckmiup @sleepylunarwolf @mochibabycakes @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @stargirl1714 @tenshis-cake @tele86 @63angel @sagskylar01 @i-am-infinite @kristin813 @one-big-fangirl
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mondaymelon · 5 months
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₊˚ෆ 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐀 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓, 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔? | lyney, neuvillette, wriothesely x gn!reader
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ˋ°•*⁀➷ cw: established relationship, fluffity fluff !! art by @/puna_822 on twitter, edited by me!
⤷ shh!! secret relationships with the fontaine men ₊˚ෆ
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— Lyney will keep the secret well, of course. He’s a jack of all trades, and a little bit of misconception is nothing taxing for someone who can trick the eye with just a simple swipe of his hands.
…Though, his personality often brings much more to deal with behind the scenes. His every action is designed as a ruse, trying to draw any and every reaction from you - whether it be making you irritated as can be or practically burning from his smooth words. He’ll at the red on your face with a light smirk gracing his lips. “Embarrassed, now, are we? Mhm, best wipe it off your face though, lest anyone find out~”
Dealing with the magician was a headache. A delightful one, but painful nonetheless. He has a habit of saying whatever he wants, and it doesn’t help that he’s so good at it too. His tongue can twist poems out of thin air, or pickup lines at the drop of a hat. The number of times Lynette had glanced over at you with a concerned gaze was far more than you could count, and it would be only a matter of time before another carefully crafted sentence sent the entire mirage into collapse. The two of you had only decided to keep your relationship private in the first place due to work affairs. It’d just make things more frustrating if people were aware of the connection. In earlier weeks, you had tried to confront the man about the entire predicament, but he had only laughed it off with a shrug of his shoulders and a jesting beam. 
“Oh, don’t tell me that the words I tell you every day still make you so flustered? Archons, you really are a hopeless romantic, aren’t you? Although, for you, I suppose I’m no different…” 
When Freminet had eventually voiced his worries, gently holding your hands and saying, “A-Are you okay? Your face is really red, are you sick? Should I walk y-you home?”, there was no other choice but to shake your head, cover your flushed cheeks as best you could with a hand, and tell a blatant lie that there was nothing out of the ordinary.
There most certainly was, and it was the cat-like man who stood off to the side, a sly smirk on his face and one of his eyes closed in a wink. Not helping, Lyney.
When would the day come for you to be the one to make him flustered? Perhaps it was sooner than you thought, on his opening night for the new season. You weren’t sure if he had expected to see you in the crowd, but as he was performing his wonderous tricks, eyes sweeping over the hundreds present, his shimmering lilac eyes locked onto yours. His professional smile stretched a little wider, and as he pulled a dove out of his hat with a flourish of his arms, beamed. The astonished look on your face was something he’d be sure not to forget.
As soon as the lights dim onstage, he hurries off of it, giving Lynette a quick farewell and combing back his unruly hair with his fingers. He spots you standing by the exit, holding… a bouquet of roses in your arms? They were a beautiful sight, yet paled in comparison to how ethereal you looked in the moment, the spotlights afar illuminating your face with a glow and your eyes sparkling with delight. This always happens when the two of you are alone - he’ll switch from verbal affection to physical, and this time is no exception. He sweeps you into his arms, slotting his lips against yours as he pulls you into a deep kiss that leaves you breathless and red. However, this time, the blush dusting your cheeks is not only on your face but his, as he takes the flowers in his arms with a bright smile. 
“For me, love? Come now, I can’t possibly keep how good we are together from everyone else, can I?” ₊˚ෆ
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— Neuvillette is… an interesting case. For starters, he’s baffled at the concept of keeping the relationship a secret. Elaborate that you don’t want to ruin his reputation as a perfect, just, and stone-cold judge, and he’ll oblige… reluctantly. He still doesn’t understand - just why can’t he show you how much he loves you in public?
For now, he’ll have to chalk it up as more human affairs that he’s deemed too complicated to figure out. Ground rules have been laid out - no mentioning the relationship, no telling anyone either… not even the melusines, which was a fair case, since they’d be sure to spread the news faster than wildfire. The mortal realm is far more puzzling than it seems, he concludes somberly. An unfamiliar world that was arduous to coexist in. It’ll be alright, though, as long as he can intertwine his fingers with yours and look into your eyes and-
“N- Sir Neuvillette… not here!” You chide quietly, slowly withdrawing your hand from his. His face falls into an instant, brows furrowing. He’ll bite his tongue, for your sake, and remain silent, yet his fingers twitch. Archons, his hands feel so much better when they’re in yours. The man watches with dejected eyes as you whip your head around anxiously, before gesturing for Neuvillette to bend down. He complies, and matches himself to your height, yet immediately pauses any motion as soon as he feels your lips brush against his forehead. You brush a stray lock of his behind his reddened ears, a grin curving on your lips.
“Don’t be too disappointed, okay? I don’t want it to rain on my way back home~” You beam slyly as you lean away, witnessing Neuvillette’s expression undergo several stages - downcast, shocked, flustered… and then a small smile graces his expression.
“I’ll see you when I get home. Don’t wait up for me. The case might run late.” Neuvillette chuckles to himself, straightening his posture as he softly pinches your cheek, laughing at the way you begin to pout. It’s something the melusines told him to do, and he’s glad he listened - your face is soft, and he has to hold himself back from kissing you. He can hear people around the corner, their voices growing closer. “Get home safe.”
“Love?” Whenever the dragon enters home, he’ll call you by the name he’s unable to call you anywhere else - something he loathes with a burning sensation in his chest. “Are you…” His voice fades as he sees you curled up on the couch, eyes closed and chest slowly rising and falling with every breath. Had you tried to stay up for him? Cute. He takes you in his arms and brings you to the bedroom, carefully arranging the pillows and blankets around your sleeping form. You stir in your state, lids slowly fluttering open as you stare at the man above you with drowsy eyes.
“Neuvi?” The use of his nickname makes his heart flutter. It’s utterly incomparable to what you call him at work, “Sir Neuvillette.” Too rigid. You giggle at the sight of him, still half-asleep, and cup his face in your hands. “Welcome home… did I fall asleep? Ah, I’m sorry, I guess I was too tired…?”
The smile on his face won’t leave.
Yes, moments like these allowed him to continue this strange human practice.
He places his hands on yours, reveling in your warmth.
“Sleep, love.” ₊˚ෆ
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— Wriothesley’s used to being professional. If he wasn’t, his work would be a lifetime more demanding than it was at the moment - although, perhaps even that’d be easier than keeping himself away from you until watchful eyes are no longer present.
He’s touchy whenever he’s with you. He likes leaning into your figure, even if you’re shorter than him, just to take in the way you embrace him back, but he loves the feeling of your fingers with his even more. It makes him feel… giddy, light, like he could drift away with the slightest breeze.
And that’s an issue. In order for you to remain safe, he’ll have to stay hushed about you being his lover. He’s made enemies, that much is natural. Of course, he’ll comply with your wishes to keep the relationship private. You could tell him to eat dirt and he’d do just that. Things like that are second nature now. Before, he had no trouble lasting weeks, or months in the Fortress of Meropide at once. After all, there was no driving incentive to head back to the city of Fontaine other than greeting the melusines, dropping off official papers, or, his guilty pleasure, ordering bags upon bags of tea from the mainland, so that he’d have more than enough to drink at the fortress. Now that you were here, however, how could he possibly stay away longer than a few days? If your hands in his were what made him float away, your smile brought him back, with a racing heart in his chest and a smile spread across his features. He’d give the world to see your smile, since it was his world. A single laugh from you would cause the background to fade to white, and rouse his heart and face into a flustered mess.
The prisoners notice a difference. Of course, they don’t know who this mysterious person the duke is seeing, but all they know is that they’re certainly working wonders. On miraculous, wondrous days, they'll even catch a glimpse of a smile on his face while he’s sitting at his desk, sifting through paperwork. As time passes, the news only grows more widespread, eventually reaching the ears of the ludex himself. It’s true, there is an apparent change - one that he captures on the duke’s more frequent visits to land. For a while, fables and tales of Wriothelsey’s mysterious lover spread throughout the city from ear to ear in hushed, excited whispers.
He’ll tease you about it, of course, but he’s really just rather intrigued. Has he really changed that much after meeting you? He doesn’t think so, but he wouldn’t put it past himself. “Darling, darling…” He repeats your petname when you don’t immediately react. “Darling, c’mon…” He can feel the pout creeping on his lips.
“Impatient, are we, Wrio?” You sigh as you turn away from your work, and his icy eyes light up in an instant. You stroke your hand through his hair gently, carding your fingers through the soft, dark strands, and you can see the way Wriothelsey simply melts under your touch. “You’ve been seeking me quite often these days, haven’t you?”
Maybe he has changed. Staring up at you with half-lidded eyes and a smile playing on his lips, feeling his ears warm, perhaps that conjecture has been solidified as the truth.
“Is it so wrong to wish for you, darling?”
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(a/n) ngl i kinda hate this fanfic. everything about it. everyone seems so ooc and the prompt is barely even mentioned ew ew ew not my best work by far please dont tell me writers block is coming back i hate that big bad scary thing
໒꒱ || ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open! send an ask or a comment ♡) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife
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onewingeddove444 · 10 months
Text
★How the bachelors would react if they accidentally made you cry
word count: 1.1k
Alex:
-would probably not even notice you're crying at first
-his expression would change so quickly
-😀😦
-kind of knew he had it coming though, since a lot of the stuff that flies out of his mouth is....well😇
-would IMMEDIATELY start taking the blame, saying things like "nahhh i didn't actually mean that i lied haha no idea why i said that i'm so stupid" ((starts blaming it on his hormones being affected by working out or something😭😭))
-hesitates at first, but pulls you into the tightest embrace you've ever felt ngl probably hurts a little lol
-his way of apologising to you is saying "you can punch me as hard as you want, i deserve it!!!!"
-starts treating you like royalty for another month, to the point where it becomes annoying
-every time you bring it up, even as a joke, he basically drops to his knees and starts apologising all over again
Elliott:
-if you thought this man was already dramatic as it is....lord🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
-would try to be cool about it, while in his head he's already pressing a dagger to his neck, saying that he has now betrayed his heart and doesn't want to go on any longer
-the moment he sees tears flowing down your face, the only word able to come out of his mouth is a soft "no, no, no..."
-he'd probably start crying with you😭😭😭
-starts whispering the most loving and kind things about yourself into your ear
-literally compares you to the most breathtaking images you could ever envision
-alternative scenario, where he just drops to the floor and starts begging for your forgiveness, even though what he said wasn't really that bad
-after that, he checks up on you every 5 minutes, to make sure you're not upset with him
-would swear on his life and soul to never hurt you again ((mind you it was never that serious😭))
-writes you so many short poems...atp they just become a whole book
Harvey:
-man....😭
-probably hurts him more than it does you lmao
-you crying would be too much for him already...but crying because of him?? ouuu
-is ready to completely retract what he said, even if he's absolutely right, that just doesn't matter to him anymore
-he just stands there for a good amount of time, since he really doesn't know how to deal with these kinds of emotions
-this might just be the first time this man has made someone cry because...let's be fr☠️
-would do that thing where he cups your cheeks and wipes your tears with his thumbs ((after that he's kinda clueless though😭))
-this literally being his worst nightmare...in his eyes hurting you is the equivalent of failing as a partner...and he's not really allowed to fail too often🙁
-would wait 30 years until you're not upset with him ((it takes you exactly 1 minute btw)), and after that it's flowers delivered to your doorstep every day of the week
-even if it were to be a one-time occurrence, he would NEVER EVER forget it, and he would always justify spoiling you with it ((using the 4 cents he makes from the clinic👎))
Sam:
-he is not that smart when it comes to verbalising thoughts please forgive him
-says things like "aw man you're crying😔😔😔😭😭“
-if he's holding a drink or eating something, he offers it to you, even if there's a single bite/sip left of it
-refuses to smile until he's 100% sure you've forgiven him, otherwise he just looks like this: :--(
-low-key fighting for his life not to pull out his phone and google "how to comfort crying person wikihow"
-once you tell him that it's okay between you two bro gets jolly, running around in circles, giggling, twirling his hair and laying down kicking his feet up
-the thing he did that upset you could've been minor, but that still doesn't stop him from saying "man...😔🤦 i'm so glad this chapter is behind us now.." like okay???😭😭😭 ((bonus points if he describes this as a "rough patch" in your relationship))
-tries making something for you after, fails miserably, resorts to showing you cool skateboard tricks he learned off of youtube
-learns his lesson and actually thinks more before he says something ((to the best of his ability))
-promises to write a song about your love and go platinum ((shows it to sebastian and gets banned from writing lyrics for the band forever))
Sebastian:
-freezes immediately
-literally unable to get a single word out, what is he supposed to do in his situation😭
-manages to whisper "i didn't mean..." and proceeds to go quiet after that
-he's been living a sheltered life for a very long time, so he's really scared that whatever he says it will only hurt you even more
-you can definitely see his expression change...not only does it soften but he looks UPSET upset, mostly with himself
-pulls you into a hug, hoping that it'll help a little bit ((it does, bro seems like a good hugger))
-asks you if there's anything he can do to cheer you up, and let me tell you he'd really do anything
-does not let you go for the rest of the day, having his arm wrapped around you, holding your hand, even if it's just the pinky fingers touching
-you have to keep reassuring him that it's okay now, he literally hits you with the "are you sure you're not mad at me?" every 3 seconds just to make sure you guys are good🙏
-lets you touch whatever you want in his room, i'm talking elementary school pictures, old sketchbooks, it's all yours, no matter how humiliating
Shane:
-um...uh😭🙅‍♀️
-yeah he is PISSED he's made you cry, he might've been mean when he first saw you, but now??? that is just not allowed in his mind idc
-jumps to self-deprecation immediately, talking about how he's an asshole, how he always fucks things up (🙁)
-just takes the whole blame on himself, no problem with that
-kind of saw this happening in the nearest future, that man does not have a very good opinion of himself let's be honest😭
-you could tell him you forgive him and he'd be like "nah don't do that wtf i don't deserve it😔"
-doesn't try comforting you at first, since he just assumes that you might never want to see him again
-but after the dust settles he reassures you that he's going to do everything to make sure this doesn't happen again
-sends you musty frozen pizza in the mail in retaliation (sigh🙁)
-would love to pretend this never happened, but making you cry really took a hit on his self-esteem, however it also made him think about how to be the best partner you can have
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ghstzzn · 22 days
Text
entombed | jeong yunho
pairing: jeong yunho x f!reader wc: 3.3k
summary: a demon of your past casually takes what's his, which is you.
warnings/tags: smut, porn with almost zero plot, demon yunho, unprotected sex, oral (f) rec., rough sex, public sex (in an office during after hours), pet names (baby, angel) multiple orgasms, can't think of anything else.
note: this is a re-upload from my deleted account, yunho-mp3, so if it seems very familiar - that is why lol. this is still one of the few things i've written that i loveeeee so much.
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The rain pours, cracks of thunder here and there, never startling you though. In fact, it brought some sort of comfort to you, it gave you a sense of realness, as if everything around you were fake. Like if living and breathing were but a chore. Yes, that was the only way you could describe it. 
You felt like a weed in a beautiful garden. Poisoned, ripped out - but never at the root, and stomped on. But here you were, sitting straight up as you finished your report for work. Your glasses nearly slipping off the tip of your nose as you type away on your computer, like you were on autopilot. You entrust the workload to your hands as they abuse every letter on the keyboard. 
Not a soul remained in the quiet office. They’ve gone home to their families - their children, their loved ones, or maybe out with their friends while they try to digest ungodly amounts of alcohol. You could be doing the same, yes, you had friends and family, but your feet stayed planted to the floor of the office building. 
You were happy with life, beyond happy. It felt as if you had everything. He was in your life then too, but it was different then. He hadn’t had as much of an impact as he does now. Your escapades with the man never haunted you as much as they did now. They were harmless, they were innocent one (or multiple) one night stands, you knew almost nothing about him. All you knew was that he “traveled” and little things, like how he liked his coffee & eggs, or how he loved deep conversations with you that lasted hours before you fucked until the sun rose, or how he would never be there when you woke up again. No note. No text. Nothing. As if he were never there. Only the smell of cigarettes and liquor remained in your cold, empty bed.
Jeong Yunho, the man you once felt safe with despite knowing it was but casual sex after bar meetups. You had your suspicions about him. They were mostly him having an affair with you, but you knew something was wrong and this would end horribly. 
And it did. Or so you thought.
You brought it up after a lustful night, trying your best to keep your eyes open. You questioned where he went, why he was so secretive, why he refused to give you a number and why he spoke in poems. You asked why you had to rely on coincidental bar meetups, in which he showed up with a group of people and why the customers in the bar didn’t spare him a single glance. In the midst of it all, you confessed your love for him. Maybe that's where it snapped.
He laughed at you. Said you were perfect, adorable even. Tears welled up in his eyes as he laughed at you. It took five minutes for him to compose himself before he confessed. Not love. Not anything you’d expect, no, he confessed his sins to you.
Yunho confessed the number of people he’s slaughtered, the people he's tortured. He confessed ripping families apart for the hell of it, just because he can, and because of his purpose. The sacrifices, the blood, the worship. Hell, he called himself the devil and wore the title proudly. The man you confessed your love to ran a fucking cult and the worst part about it is that your feelings didn’t fade, you had just wished you didn’t ask.
Ignorance is bliss.
He disappeared that night. You haven’t seen Yunho since that night. Honestly, you couldn’t sleep for weeks as you were convinced he would come back just to kill you. It would only make sense, as he did confess to horrid crimes you never once assumed he was capable of doing. But still, you were at war with yourself and your morals. How could you still love him? To yearn for him every night before bed? You question your sanity. The man left you to rot in fear, watching your own back constantly. Jolting awake to every noise you heard in your apartment. 
Yet, you still missed the sweet scent he left on your pillows the months before now. Missing the soft scent of alcohol and cigarettes mixed with honey and sandalwood. You missed his voice, his accent and the way his voice lowered through the night whether it was sweet nothings he whispered into your ears or when he told you about the passions no one knew of as you stargazed.
You weren’t the only one at battle with yourself either. Yunho condemned himself. He hated himself for going back to you for a second night at the bar. Absolutely despised himself for letting his rotting heart open up to you during those nights. But most importantly, he despised you. He hated you, he wanted to wrap his hands around your throat and end your life right then and there. But it wasn’t because of who he was, and what you knew he was. It was because he loved you, because he let himself become addicted to you. He let himself feel things for you he was never supposed to feel and he could only hate you for that. Even on nights like this, all he can think about is you. 
The rain never let up - a perfect metaphor for you. You continue to let your fingers work their magic on the computer in front of you. Ruining your eyes in the dark room. Your teeth abused your bottom lip while a certain man abused your mind. You hear a beep at the entrance of your office, you think nothing of it as it could be another overtime victim or the security guard making his rounds (though the old man was sure to scold you if so). When you don’t hear any footsteps to follow the sound of the door slamming shut, you look up from your computer screen. 
You shoot up from your desk chair, it rolls back, hitting the desk behind you with a thud. Your heart pounds as Yunho stands just feet away from you. The moonlight, along with the light from a few stray computers left on open documents lit up his body just enough for you to take in the man standing before you. It would be wrong to call him beautiful in such a moment as this. But he was. You couldn’t deny it, it’s what drew your heart towards him anyway. You couldn’t decipher if your heart was pounding in fear or if it were pounding in yearning for Yunho. 
“Angel.” Your body flinches. Air caught in your throat as he speaks the pet name for you in his deep voice. You wonder where he was before this. Ending lives? Taking souls for himself if he were the devil he claims to be? Even so, you wonder why he left you, and why didn’t stay in your arms all these past nights.
He steps towards you and you take a step back. He only smirks at the reaction your body gave. You fight off every instinct to run into his arms. Your mind and body are at war with each other as you continue to step backwards with every step he takes towards you. 
“Why do you run, angel?” Yunho questions, he still advances towards you. You start to run out of room behind you, but you don’t know that. 
“Wh-what are you doing here?” You try your best to ask the question with a sturdy voice, not letting emotions take over. He cannot win. Yet. “How did you find me, Yunho?”
Your upper thighs are met with the hard desk behind you and Yunho is a mere foot from you, closing the distance between you at a painfully slow pace. You want to run, but stupidly enough you choose to stay.
“My heart follows only you, of course I know where you are.” He replies, a wide smile planted on his face. “I always know where you are.”
Yunho stands in front of you know, his breath hitting your forehead as he speaks. He lifts a hand, twirling your hair through his fingers as he admires every inch of your face. 
“I've missed you dearly.” His voice barely above a whisper. Your words get caught in your throat. Missed you? The same man that left you empty, alone and confused missed you?
“You don’t get to say that, Yunho. Where were you?” You match his tone as you speak. “You left me..”
His hand falls on your cheek, cupping it with enough strength to force your head up at him but not enough to hurt you. You unwillingly fall into his touch, your body yearning for his comfort once again. 
“My sweet girl has missed me too,” Yunho starts, “stupidly enough, you miss me just as much. I’m here now, that means something, right?”
“It.. it doesn’t.” You reply, a loss of words as you try to come up with what to say to the man in front of you. 
The man that left you for months, making you feel inhumane, questioning your own soul. You should be screaming at him, running away from him. You could at least tell him to get the fuck away from you, but you stay planted in the same spot, melting into his touch. 
Yunho's eyes battle on what to focus on, going back and forth from your eyes to your lips. His body subconsciously leaning into yours, breath fanning your face. He watches your eyes share the same struggle as his. You want him just as badly, and he knows it. It makes him smile. The way you so easily submit to him, it's endearing, really. Yunho adores you, and you give him every single reason to keep adoring you. 
He can now. There’s nothing stopping him, and he won't let anything stop him again.
“Please.” You breathe out. And with just that one word from you, his lips are connected to yours.
The kiss burns with passion, your lips dance a fiery dance as they melt into each other. It’s not long before he’s biting your lip, making you gasp so he can slip his tongue in yours. A fight of dominance, one that he wins again. Maybe one day he could let you take the reins on him, but for now, he needed you in any way he could have you. It wasn’t in his plans to take you in your office, but it doesn’t matter. It will be your last night stepping foot in this building. Maybe it was better you ended up here, the security cameras pointed at your breathless bodies tearing at each other's clothing as he claimed you for himself. 
Your mind is foggy as Yunho rips open your blouse, buttons landing in various places as he attacks your neck and chest. Biting and sucking on the most sensitive parts of your skin. Your hands find themselves gripping at his hair for stability. The moans of his name only encourage him to go deeper. He lowers himself, planting kisses on your stomach, looking into your eyes and he bites and tugs at your skin, soaking in your yelps and whines.
Yunho drops to his knees, hands gripping the backs of your thighs as he searches your eyes for anything. When he finds the answer he needs, he's tugging your slacks down with such force that you almost fall on top of him, only saved by him slamming you back against the desk. One hand flys on top of the desk behind you and the other on top of Yunho's head, raking your fingers through his hair before grabbing a handful to keep your body stable. 
His breath fans your clothed core, which is dripping in sweet arousal that Yunho can so clearly smell from a mile away. The scent that started his addiction with you. He yanks your underwear down in one brief movement, not wasting a single second in between before diving himself into your folds. Tongue attacking your clit with force that almost folds your body in half, practically screaming his name. He spreads your legs enough to slip two fingers inside of you, not bothering to start small. Yunho's goal was to pleasure you and prepare you, as he has always done, but this time more desperately.
He needed you badly, skin aching to touch you once more. His fingers pump and curl inside you at a fast pace that has your knees shaking while his tongue darts and swirls at your sensitive nub. If your vision hadn’t gone foggy and you were paying close attention, you could see Yunho's eyes turn black, with no life behind them. 
“Fuck- Yunho, please.” You moan out. His fingers remain inside you, pumping at a pace that only makes you roll your eyes back, he pulls his mouth away.
“God, how I’ve missed your sweet taste.” Yunho kisses your inner thighs, you only yearn for his touch where you need him the most. “You haven’t fucked anyone else, I can tell. You belong to me, huh? This sweet cunt of yours is all mine for the taking?”
Your body heats up and you clench at his words. His fingers stop, urging you to answer. Yunho has always liked when you responded to his filthy words in bed. 
“Y-yes! All for you, Yunho. Please.. M-more.”
He smirks against your skin, returning the brutal pace of his fingers. He throws one of your legs over his shoulder, reaching new spots in your core. He dives back into your wetness, the force of his tongue has you leaning back onto the messy desk behind you. Not caring of the mess you were making in the owner's area. Both hands are now in Yunho's hair as he eats you out like a starved man. 
A familiar warmth pools in your lower half as he continues to abuse your clit and hole. You pull on his hair, making him groan right into you. He leaves a harsh slap to your ass, snapping that rope leading to your orgasm. Your body trembles as you come on to his fingers and tongue, but his pace never relents. He continues until he's satisfied. 
“Yunho- fuck, it’s t-too much. Oh my god- too much!” You almost scream. The warmth pooling back into your stomach already, not even being minutes since your first orgasm. He adds a third finger and you scream out his name.
Your thighs close around his head as he brings forth another orgasm, you pull his hair, trying your hardest to push him away from your overstimulated area. He pulls back, a smile so wide you could only assume he achieved his goal.
Yunho pulls his fingers out of you, you pant as he stands to his full height. Grabbing the back of your neck to pull you closer to him, he sticks his fingers into your mouth, and you suck.
“Taste yourself, pretty angel of mine? That’s all you.” He coos. You stare into his eyes, his black eyes. Lost in the pleasure, you couldn’t possibly bring yourself to be concerned over it. Technically, he did warn you.
He replaces his fingers with his lips once more. He quickly unbuckled his jeans, yanking them down with his underwear to free his aching cock. Yunho hooks his arms under your thighs, rubbing his length against your soaked core. Making your body shutter at the action.
“Fuck. Y/N, you don’t know how badly I’ve needed to be inside you.” He groans into your ear. “How bad I’ve needed you these past few months. Just wanna fuck you and never stop.”
“Please, please just- need you inside, Yunho.” You whine, bucking your hips for any friction his cock can give.
“Mmh, I’m not the only one who’s been needy, huh?”
Yunho tucks your hair out of your face. “So fucked out and I haven’t even properly fucked you.”
You throw your head into his shoulder as he slides into you. Not sparing you a second before he's already pulling out and slamming back into you. Yunho suddenly lifts you into his arms, bringing you to a different table, an emptier table that he can lay you down on. He takes your hands and pins them above your head before ramming into you once more.
He speeds his pace up, fucking into you with enough force that the table below you creaks. Yunho lets go of your hands to grip your waist, bringing your body to meet his as he fucks you. He grunts and groans, throwing his head back in pleasure. You didn’t even notice when he got rid of his shirt. 
“S’fucking perfect. Like you were made to take my cock.” Yunho grunts out. “Wanna fuck you so full.”
You only scream and moan his name. His pace only quickens and you can feel your third orgasm approach you. 
“Cum on my cock, angel.” 
You tighten around him before releasing over him once more. Your body shakes and you can barely catch your breath. He pulls out suddenly, flipping you over, giving you a second to recover as he rubs your ass cheeks before giving them a smack. 
“Just one more, baby.” He pleads from behind.
“Yunho- I, so much-”
“One more, I promise. Then we can leave forever. Together.”
You don’t push on that, you only nod and he enters you again. Returning his brutal thrusts from before but this time as a new angle. You wonder how he could have so much restraint from cumming, but he is inhuman afterall. Or so it seems.
Your body flattens against the table top as he fucks into you with so much strength that the table rocks back and forth. You yelp and moan his name loudly as he does so. The office room is silent other than the cries from both you and Yunho and skin slapping. Yunho continues the brutal pace but soon his thrusts turn sloppier by the second.
“Fuck- baby, I’m close.” He chokes out, leaning forwards to catch himself on the table. “Cum with me again, angel, I know you can.”
He reaches a hand around, rubbing circles in your already sensitive clit. It doesn’t take long for your final orgasm to reach you. 
“Yes, just like that. Cum for me, show me one more time how good I’m fucking you.” 
The band inside you snaps once more as you come, with so much force that your body falls limp as you pant against the table. Within a few more thrusts, Yunho comes inside of you. White ropes of cum filling your walls for what it seems like a full minute. He pulls out and rests against your body, both catching your breaths and trying to regain your stamina.
Moments pass before he’s helping you turn over, wiping up your legs with spare tissues left on one of the nearby desks. 
“You think you can walk?” He asks as he pulls your slacks back up over your legs. You nod.
“I think so, maybe with a bit of help.” You reply. “By the way, your eyes.. They are-”
“Black? Baby, I told you what I was months ago, don’t act so ignorant.”
Yunho straightens out, already fully dressed, as he covers your chest with your torn blouse. He stares into your eyes, with what you could only hope is with love.
“Let’s go,” He takes your hand in his, “We have a car waiting.”
“Where are we going?” You ask, leaning into his hold.
“Away. Won't you come with? We’ll be together forever.” He questions, but he knows the answer already. He knows you would follow him to the ends of the Earth if he asked.
“Of course, Yunho. Until the end.” He smiles, almost sadistically. You were his, forever.
Yunho takes your hand up to his mouth, planting a kiss on the back of it.
“Oh, you will. You’re nothing but mine, for eternity.” 
244 notes · View notes
reiding-writing · 5 months
Text
erotomania [ s.r ]
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01 - exhortations
Summary:
You’d found yourself with a stalker, one who seemingly had a romantic obsession with you, and you had no idea what to do, except maybe confide in one of your team members.
WARNINGS: Signs of stalking, mentions of break-ins, fears of violence, mentions of panic attacks
pairing: spencer reid x gn!bau!reader
genre: angst, hurt/comfort, mild fluff
wc: 6.8k
main masterlist!!
a/n: so… i decided to start a series- considering chapter length it’ll probably only be three parts and i hope to have them out once a week but knowing my college schedule i’m not sure about that 😭
<poem used - ‘my fire, my flame’ by ariana alonso>
thank you guys for all the love on my other uploads <33
series masterlist!!
01-exhortations, 02-avoidance, 03-revelations, 04-confession
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It started with a rose.
A single white rose left haphazardly on your doorstep.
You didn’t really think much of it, your neighbours had a white rose bush they regularly pruned, and you figured the wind must have blown one of the loose roses cut from it over to your porch.
You’d often find scattered petals and wilting rose heads on your lawn, blown over by the wind to no fault of the old couple living next door. Although you did have to admit that a full rose was something that had never blown over before.
But hey, sometimes these things happen right?
That was the same rhetorical question you asked yourself two weeks later when a blank envelope was posted through your letter box alongside your regular mail. It looked like a birthday card, the envelope a pale yellow and closed shut with a small white sticker in the shape of a rose. Curious.
You debated on whether to open it at first, not wanting to accidentally intrude on somebody else’s private business, but after a few days of deliberating you came to the conclusion that reading what’s inside might help you find the intended recipient.
You didn’t find anything of note in the envelope, just a folded piece of white paper with a typed out romantic poem imprinted on its inner side. It was odd for sure, but it wasn’t anything to worry about.
You ended up throwing the envelope away. As much as you would’ve liked to have delivered it to its rightful recipient there just wasn’t enough information for you to do so. You just guessed that it was a teenager trying to romance one of their classmates and had posted their efforts through the wrong door.
It was harder to brush off the new succulent lining your kitchen windowsill.
You’d come home to your house after four days spend in Iowa on a case, absolutely exhausted. So much so it took you three separate trips in and out of your kitchen to realise that the three succulents usually lining your window had now been increased to four.
At first you just thought it was your exhaustion getting to you, but you knew for a fact that you’d only bought three. Garcia had made you pick them out specifically. And this new fourth one didn’t fit in.
You examined the new succulent closely, trying to figure out where it came from. It was a vibrant green colour, with small, round leaves that formed a rosette shape. Unlike your other succulents, this one had delicate white flowers blooming from its centre. It was a beautiful addition to your collection, but you couldn't help but wonder who had put it there and why.
You carefully examined the plant for any clues. There were no tags or labels indicating its origin, and it seemed to blend in seamlessly with the rest of your succulents, as if it had always been there. The thought of someone entering your home while you were away sent a shiver down your spine, but there were no signs of forced entry or any other evidence to suggest foul play.
You unfortunately didn’t have much time to mull over this new addition to your plant collection as the team were whisked away on another case, less than 24 hours after your last case finished.
Still, you couldn’t seem to get the small white flowers of the plant sat upon your windowsill out of your mind, and you were starting to question your sanity a little. Were you sure that you hadn’t bought four? Maybe you had. Maybe it’d been there the whole time.
“If it isn’t my favourite profiler, don’t tell Derek that,” Garcia almost immediately backtracked as she picked up the phone. “What can I do you for my sweet?”
“Hey Penny, just a random question, you remember when we went plant shopping a while back?” You held the phone up to your ear with your left hand, using your right to continue jotting down notes on the portable whiteboard the Montanna Police Department had provided your team with for the case you were working on.
“Oh of course I do my love. Why, Looking for a professional suggestion for your next addition?” You could practically hear Garcia’s smile through the phone as she spoke.
“No Pen, I just wanted to check something,” You let out a small chuckle at her exaggerated confidence in her knowledge of plants. ”Did I end up buying three succulents or four?”
“Three my love, two Chinese Jades and one Opalina I believe. Why’s that?”
“Oh no nothing, I was just checking which ones I’d bought with you and which ones I’d bought myself, thanks Pen,” You didn’t know why you felt the impulse to lie. Maybe it was your subconscious telling you that it was in fact you who had put the plant there. That you’d just been so busy that you’d forgotten about it. Either way you didn’t want to stir up the pot if you couldn’t prove anything was actually wrong.
But you also couldn’t rid of that feeling in the pit of your stomach that rose when Garcia confirmed you hadn’t bought the plant when out with her.
“Alrighty, anything else you need from her majesty of all knowledge?”
You give another small laugh at Garcia’s manner of speech. “No Pen, thank you.”
”Well then my dear, this lady’s got other fish you fry, I’ll catch you later,”
You hear the end dial through your phone before you can respond, a usual end to a phone call with Garcia, and whilst her little quips and jokes left you with a small smile on your face, it didn’t quite reach your eyes.
A pale yellow envelope.
You feel a sense of deja vu when you pick it up from the floor on the inside of your front door, seemingly slotted through your letterbox just like the former had been, white rose sticker holding it closed and all.
The difference this time however, was that when you turned the envelope in your hand it had your name inked on the front, scrawled out in a messy cursive that stained parts of coloured paper black, the ink having bled as the name was written from the sheer amount of pressure used.
That’s the moment that you started to panic.
You could put the signs together by now. A perfectly de-thorned rose on your doorstep. Messages posted through your door. A new succulent left in your kitchen after you’d expressed interest in them. It wasn’t just a series of coincidences, they were signs. Signs of something you didn’t particularly want to think about.
The last one was the worst. It meant that whoever had taken it upon themselves to form a fascination with you had somehow managed to get inside of your house whilst you weren’t there.
You triple checked the locks on your doors that night, leaving the new envelope unopened on your kitchen counter.
You ended up taking it to work the next day, tucked away in your messenger bag and left under your desk as you tried to distract yourself through with your files.
You tried to convince yourself that you were just overthinking. Maybe the indented recipient of the letter just happened to have the same name as you. Maybe this was just the last two weeks of continuous stress was just taking it’s toll on you and making you paranoid. You tried to convince yourself. But you knew.
“Excuse me,”
Your internal monologue was cut off by a soft voice, and your mind was momentarily wiped of your dilemma as you looked up towards the source of the noise, the small receptionist from the front of your floor.
“This was dropped off last night, I believe it was for you.”
In her hand was a small rectangular package, wrapped in brown paper, and she held it out to you with a small smile.
“Oh, thank you,” You return her smile with one of your own, taking the package from her hand and watching her retreat back to her desk. You weren’t expecting anything delivered, were you?
Unwrapping the package only left you more confused. It was a leather bound copy of Romeo and Juliet, the cover a deep red and embossed with with gold roses and an intricate border, the book’s name embossed in a similar fashion in the cover’s centre, although flaking in some areas from the wear of the book.
Your eyebrows furrowed as you turned the book over in your hands, but as you opened the front cover that expression fell straight back into concern. A small rose, etched into the inside over in a black ink pen, fit with a single letter, ‘R.’
“Hey Spencer, uh- can I- borrow you for a sec?” You stand from your desk, walking around the cluster in the bullpen to stand behind Spencer’s, head buried in the files he was working on.
“Of course, what’s up?” Spencer took a second to look up, folding the folder closed and leaving his pen inside to mark the page. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah uh- I uh- Were you expecting a book delivery?”
You held the book out towards him, eyes silently pleading for him to say yes. A part of your brain still denied the inevitable, that it wasn’t some outside person who had been leaving things around for you to find. That there wasn’t someone who knew where you lived, and now where you worked, sending you eerily creepy ‘gifts’.
Spencer inspected the book in his hands, examining it closely with narrowed eyes.
“Not that I know of...” He looked up at you, eyebrow slightly raised as he handed the book back to you. “I already have this copy at home,”
Your stomach dropped a little when he confirmed it wasn’t his.
“Right, sorry,” You take the book back from him with a pursed smile, holding it in both of your hands and tapping your nails against the back cover.
You logically knew it wasn’t for him, Spencer was all for buying things second hand, but he would never pick up a book with this much wear and tear unless was a first edition owned by some prolific scholar, the spine damaged and the pages folded and scrawled with annotations that you weren’t sure you wanted to read, but hearing the confirmation just made it sink in a little further.
“Are you alright? You seem a little tense.” Spencer’s voice cut you out of another internal spiral, and you gave him a quick nod.
“Hm? Oh yeah i’m alright, thanks anyway Spence,” You give him a small smile and a half wave as you retreat back to your own desk with the book in hand.
Spencer stared at you for a moment longer, watching as you sat back down at your desk, discarding the book behind your stack of files as if you couldn’t bare to look at it any longer.
Something seemed very off with you.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
My fire, my flame,
My one and the same.
Swiftly swinging from life to end,
Through the times, we meet again.
My lover, my friend,
My mirror, my mend.
My fire, my flame,
No darkness can tame.
Ochre to blue, two as one.
Never unbroken, never undone.
Healing the hurt, flame dims down.
Fire prevails, doubt it drowns.
Forever and true, I am your blue,
The one you felt, the one you knew.
Drunken to sober, you are my ochre,
The one who inspires all my desires.
Over and over, we dance again,
Swiftly swinging from life to end.
It was nearly midnight, and yet you felt wide awake.
A part of you wanted to sleep, lay in bed and pretend that nothing was happening, but you knew that your mind wasn’t going to let you.
You’d sucked up the resolve to open the envelope you’d stored away in your bag, another poem left inside. Except this time instead of being typed out and printed, it was written in the same ink that had adorned its sleeve.
Some of it was barely legible, but you found the words ingrained in your mind almost as soon as you read them. They were sweet from a surface level, a message of true and eternal love, but under your circumstances the only emotions that it evoked from you was a mix of dread and fear.
Your mind soon flickered over to the book you’d left on your nightstand, and you soon found yourself curled up under your duvet with the book in hand, lamp left on both to aid your reading and provide you with a small sense of security in the warm light it cast over the walls of your bedroom.
The narrative of the story was what you’d expect, the traditional tale of Romeo and Juliet, but that wasn’t what you were interested in, it was the annotations, written in the same handwriting as the poem left discarded on your coffee table.
It seemed like a lot of references to love, mainly to the female protagonist in Romeo and Juliet, and you noticed that your initials and “R.” were written a lot.
It seemed that whoever had taken a liking to you really liked you... a little too much.
There were references to your personality, how much you loved things like animals, reading books and eating dark chocolate. They had even written that your favourite colour was burgundy.
You were starting to find this rather unnerving.
The part that really sent you over the edge into a panic was one line in particular, underlined so many times that there was a small rip in the page.
These violent delights have violent ends.
The book in your hand was soon replaced with your phone, held up to your ear as took in slow breaths through your nose.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” You heard Spencer’s voice ring through your phone.
“Hey uh, I’m so sorry to call you so late but uh- Can I ask you for a favour?” The tone of your voice wavered slightly as you spoke, not at all aided by the small tremble of your hand.
“Yeah of course, anything for you, what is it?”
“Can I uh,” You hesitate for a second. “Can I come over?”
“Yeah, of course,” Spencer responded quickly. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah I just, don’t want to be on my own right now,” It wasn’t exactly a revelation. There had been a few instances where tough cases left the team feeling more comfortable spending the time after in the company of someone else.
Most of them had family or lovers as their comfort, but in the case of Spencer, not having any contact with his father and his mother institutionalised, and your parents living across the country, you often found comfort in each other instead.
“Thank you,”
It seemed like you wouldn’t get any sleep tonight.
“It’s no problem at all, I’ll see you soon?” Spencer’s voice was soft and understanding, and you found yourself increasingly grateful for his insomniatic nature.
“Yeah, see you soon…”
You let out a small breath of relief as you hang up the phone, piling some things into a backpack, tattered book included, before locking up the house and driving to Spencer’s apartment
The drive there seemed to be one of the longest drives of your life, constantly deliberating with yourself on whether to confide in Spencer about your theory. Part of you wanted to tell him, you knew with an outside objective view alongside his intelligence that he’d be able to find you a solution, but you also didn’t want to burden him.
When you reach his apartment, you knock on the door twice. “Spence?”
The door unlocked almost before you’re finished knocking, and Spencer stands on the other side, dressed in tardis pyjama pants and a black t-shirt, his brown hair a little flattened, presumably from tossing around in bed trying to get comfortable.
“Hey,” He stepped aside to let you in, adjusting the crooked glasses sat over his nose.
“I’m so sorry for bothering you so late, thank you for letting me come over-“ You blurt out a hasty apology for your intrusion as you take your shoes off at the door and slump down on Spencer’s couch, dropping your bag on the floor next to you.
Spencer followed you with his eyes as he closed and locked the door behind you. “It’s totally fine, it doesn’t matter if it’s 2pm or 2am, you’re always welcome, you know that,”
Spencer smiles at you before asking, “So, what’s going on?”
“I think I’m being stalked-"
The words almost melded together with how fast you spoke them, and it’s only after the whole sentence leaves your mouth you realise that you’d blurted out the thing you’d been mentally fighting over telling him or not.
Well, so much for dealing with it on your own.
Spencer’s smile immediately disappears, being replaced with a look of concern. “Stalked? What do you mean? What’s been happening?”
You sigh softly at Spencer’s expression. There was no backtracking from this now. So you start right from the beginning.
“Well, a few weeks ago I found this perfectly pruned rose on my doorstep,"
Spencer listens to your explanation with a small nod. “Right…”
“But I wasn’t like concerned or anything because my neighbours have a rose bush, and I figured it was just the wind or something. You know, sometimes that kind of stuff happens right? But then over the last few weeks things keep turning up and I know that it’s not normal you know?”
Spencer’s look of concern only grows as you begin explaining, and he took a seat next to you on the couch. “What kind of things have been showing up? Apart from the rose?”
“Like two-ish weeks after the rose thing, there was an envelope posted through my door alongside the rest of my mail, and I ended up opening it because it didn’t have a name on the front and I wanted to to figure out who it was for right?”
Spencer gives you a small nod as a gesture for you to continue.
“I thought it was a birthday card at first, but I’m pretty sure it was a poem, it was just typed out and stuck in the envelope, no names or addresses or anything. So I just threw it out and moved on. I figured it was some teenager who’d posted a love note through the wrong door.”
You use your hands to gesture your explanation, your right leg bouncing absentmindedly as the nervous tension builds up in your body.
“And then after the case we had in Iowa I came home and instead of three plants on my kitchen windowsill there was four. And that was when I was like ‘okay something’s not right here’, and I even rang Penny to check and she confirmed that I’d only bought three,”
Spencer raises a brow, his expression furrowing further if that was possible. “Wait, it turned up in your house?”
You give him a small nod. “I checked all the doors and windows and everything but there was no evidence that anyone had broken in, and by this point I’m like genuinely questioning my sanity over whether I’d actually just bought this stupid plant myself and was freaking myself out over it, but then yesterday evening after I got home from the Airport I found another envelope by my front door, same colour, shape and everything, they even both had the same sticker keeping them closed, but this one had my name written on the front of it,”
By this point, your explanation had turned into more of a ramble, and by the time you had reached a comfortable place to stop, you were feeling short on breath.
“And you opened it?”
You respond to Spencer’s question with a nod, brushing a piece of hair from your eye. “I opened it an hour ago maybe?”
“And it was another poem?”
You give Spencer another small nod in affirmation at his prediction.
“Okay, what else? Did anything else happen?” Spencer’s hand reaches out towards the curve of your knee, effectively halting the nervous tic you’re using to release your tension.
“Well, I showed you this earlier-”
You bend forward to pull your backpack up onto your lap, rifling through it to pull out the worn copy of Romeo and Juliet to present him with it once more.
“it was left at the office’s front desk which half makes me want to believe that it’s not related, but I was reading the annotations earlier and they’re really specific and I freaked myself out which is why I called you in the first place-“
Spencer’s brows crease under the rims of his glasses as his eyes pour over the book’s cover again. “Who left it for you?“
“I don’t know Spencer that’s my issue," You sigh softly as you turn the book over in my hands. “Can you just read through this for me please? I didn’t finish it because I freaked myself out and then immediately came over here so-“
You over-explain your reasoning for wanting him to read through the book for you, figuring that if you could give him a valid reason then you would feel less guilty about asking him to do it in the first place.
Spencer takes the book from you hands whilst you’re still explaining yourself, beginning to flick through the pages one by one, pulling his middle and ring fingers down the page as he scans over the writing.
It’s times like these you’re thankful that Spencer’s reading speed is 85 times faster than the average person’s, and you find your eyes following his fingers as he traces them over the pages, taking note of how he bends his middle finger ever so slightly so that his fingertips are level with each other and how he keeps his index finger raised away from the paper’s surface. It was oddly distracting to watch.
It takes him little more than five minutes to have read through the whole thing, with him stopping a few times along the way to make a couple of comments as he does.
“Well he makes reference to your favourite colour, and your birthday...”
“....your job...”
“...and of course your name.”
“Jesus, the guy’s really obsessed with you isn’t he.”
You furrow your face as Spencer confirms your concerns, rubbing your hands over your legs as a self-soothing technique.
Spencer thinks again for a moment as he shuts the book in his lap. “I think you should spend the night here.”
You can see his gears are turning, the same cogs turning when he’s deep in a profile. He’s gone from being concerned to calculated. “No way in hell am I leaving you alone tonight.”
“I don’t wanna burden you this is a me problem-“ You immediately shut down his suggestion despite you having stayed at his apartment on multiple occasions in the past.
You’d gotten an objective opinion on the situation. That was all you wanted. You didn’t need to drag him any further into your personal issues.
“Hey no,” Spencer shakes his head as he places the book down on the small oak coffee table in front of you. “You’re not burdening me, okay? You don’t have to be alone tonight, you can sleep here.”
“I’m not letting you leave now,” Spencer adds with finality. “You’re clearly anxious, and you look like you need to get some proper sleep.”
You bit the inside of your cheek at Spencer’s insistence, flickering your eyes over to the book on the table, its embossing glinting slightly under the warm overhead light.
He might not exercise it often, but Spencer definitely knew how to put his foot down when he needed to.
“Thank you…”
“Hey, look at me?” Spencer waits until you look at him, then he offers you a soft, reassuring smile. “...Everything’s gonna be okay. Okay?”
You give him a short nod with a pursed smile, not entirely convinced of his assurance but wanting to go along with it anyway for the sake of being able to calm down enough to at least get some sleep. “Okay,“
“Let’s get you set up for the night. We’ll talk this through in the morning.”
Spencer stands up, pushing himself up from the sofa with his hands and leaving into the bedroom. “Get as comfy as you’d like okay? I’ll be back.”
He turns to leave then stops at the door and looks at you one more time. “Oh, and... do you want to borrow one of my T-shirts?”
The invitation was obvious. “Uh yeah if you don’t mind…”
He gives you a small nod as he retreats into his bedroom, re-emerging a few minutes later with a fleece blanket, one of the pillows from his bed, and a black T-Shirt identical to the one he was wearing. “Here, my couch probably isn’t the comfiest place to sleep but-”
He hands the T-shirt over to you with a small smile, stacking the blanket and the pillow on the end of the sofa.
“Don’t be silly Spencer, I’m grateful for you even letting me in let alone letting me stay over on such short notice,” You return his smile with one of your own as you take the shirt from him, retreating into the bathroom to change into it.
You feel the soft cotton against your bare skin as you pull the fabric over your head, noticing that it’s been washed recently, and it still has a slight smell of Spencer’s cologne. It falls quite low, Spencer having to have bought a bigger size than he realistically needed due to the length of his torso.
Your mind continues to run rampant as you exit the bathroom, a mix of the overwhelming stress of your situation and the conflicting feeling of serenity from the solicitude radiating from Spencer.
It was a lot to process for it to be just 1am.
You basically collapse onto Spencer’s couch, burying your head into his pillow with a groan and unfolding the blanket to throw it over yourself.
“If you need anything, anything at all just wake me up okay?” Spencer continued to express that kind compassion that made your chest tingle a little, definitely not helped by the faint scent of his cologne radiating from his pillow, joined by a trace of lavender, most likely an essential oil he’d been using in the hope it would help him sleep better.
“Yeah, thank you again Spencer, it really means a lot.” Your voice is half muffled by the angle of your head against the pillow as you crane your neck to look at him.
“It’s really no problem. You’re always welcome,” He switched off the small lamp keeping the living room, dimly lit, allowing it to fall into a comfortable darkness. “Get some sleep okay?”
“Yeah, thank you Spence…” Spencer gives you one last smile, joined by a half wave that you found more endearing than awkward, before leaving for his bedroom and clicking the door shut behind him.
For the next half hour or so you lie awake on his couch, trying in vain to sleep despite the rampaging thoughts running through your head. It was only when you heard Spencer open the door and quietly enter the room that you finally turned your head to look at him.
The surprise on his face told you that he hadn’t expected you to be still awake. “Why are you still up?”
“My mind’s running a million miles a minute, why are you up?” Your voice is partially hoarse from tiredness, and you shift around on the couch until you are lying facing in his direction.
“Just wanted to get a glass of water…” Spencer purses his lips slightly as his eyes trail over the position you’re lying in, clearly feeling a sad-sympathy at your mind’s insistence at you staying awake. “Hey, can I try something?”
Spencer slowly makes his way over to where you’re lying, taking a seat on the edge of the coffee table in front of you.
“Sure?” You raise an eyebrow slightly, rubbing one of your knuckles over your eyelid. Spencer smiles at your reaction, extending his hand palm-up.. “Alright... can I have your hand please?”
“Should I sit up?” You extend your right hand towards him, using your left to prop yourself up onto your elbow.
Spencer shakes his head. “No, no, keep being comfortable... I think I know how to fix your problem.”
Spencer then reaches out and takes your hand firmly in his, holding it between both of his hands with your palm facing the ceiling. “Ready?”
You give him a short nod in expectancy, eyes flickering between the way his hands hold yours and his eyes as you lie on your back.
His hands were frigidly cold compared to the warmth of his apartment, but you couldn’t say that it was uncomfortable, it was actually quite soothing, a nice contrast from the small cocoon of warmth under the blanket.
Spencer slowly rubs his fingers on the inside of your palm, adding a gentle pressure first to the bases of your fingers and working his way down slowly, pressing the pads of his fingertips into your skin in small circles. “Close your eyes and breathe deeply.”
You follow his guidance with no hesitation, relaxing back into the pillow beneath your head and closing your eyes as you focus on the feeling of Spencer’s fingers dancing over the palm of your hand.
“Just breathe in and out....” You can hear the confidence in his voice as he continues to move the pressure downwards, pressing his thumb against your wrist and gently massaging it.
“A lack of sleep is usually the cause of delayed melatonin production, and studies have shown that certain pressure points on our bodies can help speed up the process.” Spencer begins to explain the reasoning and process behind the gentle hand massage he’s giving you, his voice soft and quiet.
“It was traditionally used in China as a part of acupressure, with six identified pressure points on our bodies that encouraged the production of serotonin and melatonin to help with relaxation and reduce chronic pain, but in the present day it’s been adapted into a massaging technique to help people fall asleep.”
The softness of his voice paired with the gentle massaging of his fingers on your wrist quickly left you feeling more relaxed.
“There are two pressure points on different points of your ankles, one point on each foot, one between your eyebrows, one behind each of your ears, and one on each of your wrists.” You find yourself nodding along to his explanation absentmindedly as you enjoy the gentle pressure of his fingers.
“Although, the only pressure points that have been reliably linked to melatonin production are those on your wrists and behind your ears, here, lie on your side for me.” Spencer gives your wrist a gentle pull to encourage you to turn over, which you very gladly oblige to, humming a soft agreement as you turn to lie of your side facing him with your eyes still closed.
He gently slides his hand up the side of your neck, the coldness of his fingers sending a small shudder up your back, and he presses his thumb into the small gap between your jaw and the rest of your skull, rubbing it in slow circles.
You let out a small, almost inaudible sigh at the gentle pressure he’s applying, and Spencer can tell that you’re quickly falling into full relaxation. “The best results from acupressure occur after 3 - 5 minutes of continuous pressure and…”
His voice trails off slowly as he feels the tension in your jaw release, and he glances down towards your face, a small smile adorning his features at your relaxed expression. “…is best done in a comfortable environment…”
He continues to rub gentle circles into your skin for the next few minutes before gently removing his hand from you, standing up from where he was sat on the coffee table with a soft smile still gracing his features.
“Sleep well..” He whispers the words under his breath as he slowly retreats back to his bedroom, the glass of water he originally sought after completely forgotten about.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It’d been a few days since you’d confided in Spencer about the stalking situation and stayed the night with him, and fit with a new set of locks on your doors, you’d gone back home to stay on your own.
You walk into the BAU office expecting to see Spencer at his desk like always, ready to talk through your next steps forward with him, except he wasn’t there. You check the watch on your wrist. 7:45. He should’ve arrived by now. Why wasn’t he here?
"Hey uh, do you know where Spencer is?" You approach Morgan over at the kitchenette, leaning against the counter top with your elbow.
“Good morning to you too lover.” Morgan gives a half-laugh at your lack of your usual greetings, making sure to throw in a tease about how the first thing you talk about is Spencer’s whereabouts, not something entirely unfounded considering how close you and Spencer had been getting over the last week or so.
“Ha ha very funny, do you know where he is?” You respond to his quip with a slight roll of your eyes.
Morgan shrugs his shoulder slightly, taking a sip of his freshly made coffee. “Maybe he slept in,”
“Spencer Reid? The man with four wake up alarms?” You furrow your expression slightly. Something about Spencer not already being in the office didn’t sit right with you.
“Okay okay, maybe that was a bad guess, but I don’t know, who knows what he might be doing,” Morgan remains nonchalant if not a little heedless. “Maybe he stumbled on an antique Russian novel collection on the way to work or something,”
“He’s never late for work-“ You mutter to yourself under your breath, half-ignoring Morgan’s attempts at explaining Spencer’s lateness, and you pull your phone out of your pocket, dialling Spencer’s number and holding up the phone to your ear, the consecutive rings echoing out of your phone’s speaker.
Pick up Spencer.
If anyone on the BAU team would know Spencer’s whereabouts, it should be the two of you. And yet neither of you had any clue where he was.
The phone continues to ring until it reaches his voicemail. there’s no answer.
Something was wrong.
You try to call him again. Nothing. This was not like Spencer at all.
Your anxiety spikes as your subconscious links his lack of answering back to your stalking situation, What if Spencer was in danger? What if this stalker had followed you to Spencer’s apartment that night you stayed with him and now knew where he lived?
The minute your brain made the connection you were turning on your heels to exit the office, grabbing your car keys from your desk as you did so.
“Hey-” Morgan follows you over to your desk, putting an arm out as you try to walk past him. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to Spencer’s apartment.” You try to push Morgan’s arm out of the way, only for him to block you with his entire body instead.
“Slow your roll there turbo, everyone is late every now and again, that doesn’t mean we have to turn up to their house out of nowhere.” Morgan’s explanation would be logical under normal circumstances, but he didn’t know that you were being stalked. Nor did he know that this stalker had possibly found Spencer’s address due to your own stupidity leaving him in potential danger.
“Listen Morgan I appreciate your apprehension but I do not have time for this right now.” You manage to swerve your way around Morgan and push your way out of the glass doors of the BAU office, bee-lining it down the stairwell instead of waiting for the elevator.
“Hey! Wait up!” Morgan’s voice echoes down the stairwell as he runs out of the office after you, only managing to catch up to you as you stop to unlock your car, and he blocks the door from opening with his hand. “What is going on?”
“Morgan, if you want to ask me questions, get in the car.” The tone of your voice leaves no room for argument, and Morgan can tell be this point taht you’re not alright, so he gives you a short nod and goes around the front of the car to get in the passenger’s side.
Please be okay, please be okay...
That’s what’s going through your mind as you leave the BAU building, running the speed limit as you drive towards Spencer’s apartment with an awful feeling in your stomach.
“So are you going to tell me what’s going on or what?” Morgan begins his questioning as soon as you hit the main road.
“I think Spencer is in danger.” You keep your eyes trained on the road, both hands braced against the steering wheel as you turn a roundabout.
“Okay, listen.... I’m with you in the fact that this is very out of character for Spencer... but there’s no use in jumping to conclusions, okay?” He puts a hand on your shoulder, clearly concerned at how fast your mind linked Spencer being late with him being in danger. “Let’s just approach this calmly and rationally.”
“I am being rational.”
“No you’re not, you’re panicking,” Morgan gives your shoulder a squeeze before letting his hand fall back into his lap. “Just take a deep breath and a second to think.” Morgan’s voice was full of a calm, soothing reassurance even as you were clearly anxious. “You’re gonna give yourself a panic attack if you don’t.”
“I know I know I’m fine-“
You open your palms against the steering wheel as if to emphasise your point, exhaling heavily through your nose as you pull into the parking lot of Spencer’s Apartment building, leaving your car parked at an angle across two parking spaces.
You’re thankful in this moment that Spencer lives so close to the office building, and you shut off the car quickly, exiting it with the same haste.
Morgan follows closely behind you as you jog across the concrete towards the entrance of the building, locking your car remotely as you pushed the outside door open and started your ascent of the stairs.
“Come on, calm down you don’t need to run-” Morgan called after you as he followed you up the stairs, continuing to try in vein to get you to take a step back and just calm down a little.
You didn’t listen of course, and you only come to a halt once you’ve reached Spencer’s apartment door.
You reach out your right hand to knock as Morgan reaches your side, but as your knuckles come into contact with the wood of the door it creaks open, the hinge pin of the door not fully closed.
Oh no.
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classypauli · 2 months
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She’s the Man
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Pairing: Jenna Ortega x fem Reader A/N: I don’t even have words, I definitely wasn’t expecting this feedback, you guys made my day. Thank you for all the likes, rebloggs and comments!! You are the best!! Warning: alcohol, drunk people, grammar mistakes, bad punctuation in complex sentences, spelling errors Word count: 4.8k
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Y/N was walking down the hallway with Mason, they didn´t share many classes except literature. It was one of her favorite classes. Y/N becomes a little nerd if someone asks her about history, paintings, architecture, or literature. When she was a kid, she wasn´t into this kind of things. She used to do a lot of sports and her grades weren´t great but also not worse.
When she started to go to a high school she stopped. Her grades became better and soon she was topping most of her classes. Her classmates saw her as someone intelligent, she wasn´t just book smart, she had good opinions and when she started talking people listened to her, she didn´t know why, maybe because she didn´t talk much so they became interested in her talking.
But she never talked about herself. She was always trying to avoid any questions about her. Y/N didn´t know why she did that. She felt more secure that way, less on target. She likes to keep things like this together.  When she used to tell someone about her problems she didn´t feel relief, it was the opposite, she was scared that it wouldn´t end with that person or that they actually didn´t care and just listened to her cause they didn´t want to be impolite. So she found peace in her silence.
When she struggled she picked up a pen and notebook. She kept writing and writing until she forgot why she started. She never read it. Felt ashamed of her words and her feelings. She wasn’t alone after all, she had her family and brother, so why did she still feel so lonely? Y/N knew she wasn´t good with words but she wanted to be better.
When she became older she found herself in poems. Sometimes she was writing about her feelings, other times she was writing about things she likes, saw during the day, or just about her day. In some way they made her realize that being focused on bad things won´t bring her good feelings. And she felt stupid, of course, it was like this but talking about it and behaving according to it were two different things.
„How was your weekend?“ Mason asked as they walked side by side to their class, passing by some of their football teammates, shooting them nods.
„It was pretty good, got some sleep, how about you?“ she shot him a glance. Y/N still can´t believe that someone like him exists, he is so kind and helpful. Today after school they are having practice, she was kind of on the edge of her toes because on saturday they have the game but Mason supported her and calmed her nerves.
„Me too, there was a party going on, it was quite good but it would be even better if you were there.“
They walked into a class and took a seat, chatting about some festival going on this week when suddenly Percy came into a class. He saw her shot her a quick nod and started to make his way to them.
„Hey, Charlie! I didn´t see you almost all weekend!“ Yeah, they were always avoiding each other but not on purpose, Y/N was always somewhere and when she came to the dorm Percy wasn´t there yet, he was sleeping or it was the other way around.
He turned to Mason but didn´t say anything. It was weird, like some tension between them. They just kept looking at each other till Percy asked her about her Friday night.
„How was your hang out with your teammates?“
Mason shot her a questionable look but Percy didn´t seem to notice that. Y/N got stuck. Now there was no way she could keep lying because clearly, Mason was sitting beside her, she could say that she felt sick so she canceled the plans or-
„It was great.“ Mason said from beside her. „Why are you interested? You wanted to join us?“ he asked and kept looking at him for an answer. Y/N knew he didn´t mean the question that way but silently thanked him for saving her. Percy looked at him, stunned, as he wasn´t expecting his statement.
„No, of course not.“ After that, he walked away somewhere behind them to find a free chair to sit on. Mason looked at “Charlie” again with a slightly raised eyebrow.
„I´m not going to ask, if you want to tell me you can, just so you know, I don´t want to force you.“ He said softly. Mason can see the way his teammate is. How she only talks when someone asks her something. He sees how she acts and holds herself. He also can see that something is off but can´t really say what. But still, he has this urge to hold a protective wing above his new friend.
„Thank you, Mason.“ Y/N shot a small smile his way and he gave it back to her. Class began and she can only hope that Percy will forget about their small but tense interaction.
Soon the mentioned festival came. Y/N was walking around by herself not really sure where to head to. There were all the students from her school running around. She saw Georgie on the bench, he was holding big candy floss in his hand looking excited at it. The girl wanted to laugh at him, he looked really funny. Slowly she came to him with a small teasing smile on her face.
„Aren´t you a little too old for this?“ Y/N asked him looking at his change of face at her question.
„There is not something like an age barrier in eating cotton candy!“ Georgie shouted and turned his face around, acting angry at her. Of course, he was right, she liked it too, she just saw the opportunity and took it.
„Yeah, believe whatever you want“ Y/N smiled „Where is the rest?“ she was hitting on Hunter, the two boys were always together, they truly were like brothers, always bickering but supportive of each other. Percy was also a lot of time by their side but Hunter and Georgie were glued by the hip.
„I don´t know I´m waiting for him.“ He said as Y/N slowly took a seat by him. „And what brings you here? Shouldn´t you train for your upcoming match?“ he looked her way.
„Today we have a free day, coach was talking about him having some show at the festival.“ Y/N was looking forward to her match and wanted to be ready, hoping he would let her play for at least a couple of minutes. She wanted to find out how her body would react. She was a little nervous but this stress was healthy. It kept her going.
„Me and Hunter will come to watch you.“ The girl looked at him shocked. He was eating his candy floss with his fingers all sticky.
„You like something else besides eating and taking photography?“ she teased him and he looked at her with lowered eyebrows.
„I didn´t say I enjoy watching it, I just want to see how you lose your first game.“ Georgie laughed then Y/N punched his shoulder. „Ouch! I was only joking you know!“
She stopped and looked around her, feeling like someone was watching her and she was right. There was a girl not so far, looking at her with folded arms and a smirk on her face. She had long brown hair and was short. She started to make her way to the two of them. Y/N straightened her back and waited for what this girl had to say.
„Hey, I don´t think we know each other but my roommate talks a lot about you.“
Now that made the girl sitting on the bench stop. Roommate? She had never seen this girl and Y/N wasn´t sure where she should know her roommate from. The only girl she talks to is Jenna but she´s almost sure that she has no reason to talk about her.
„She is working in the photo booth, I´m sure she would be on top of the roof if you came to see her.“ She still has that teasing smile on her face.
„Uhm... yeah, sure“ Y/N lets out looking at Georgie who´s trying to hold his laugh. The girl left and he lets it out.
„Shut your mouth and keep eating.“ She hissed at him but he only continued with his laugh.
Soon she found Mason and some of her other teammates, they talked about the game how excited are they and how they would smash their opponent. Her brother called her again, saying how his tour was going and he wished her luck. Their parents luckily aren´t suspicious so everything is going according to plan. She takes her walk around the festival, looking at all kinds of booths and how people are enjoying themselves. She stopped by one and just stared, she saw Jenna, and she sat in one of the booths on her face her significant smile. Suddenly the brown eyed girl looked up and saw Y/N. She smiles wider and she indicates with her eyes at the side of the booth. Y/N slowly walks there are is greeted with Jenna´s hug. This was the first time they hugged and Y/N couldn´t focus on anything. She was shocked by the girl´s body language but also glad cause this meant their friendship became stronger.
„Hey, I was looking forward to seeing you today.“ Jenna backed her way out of their hug and looked up at her, still with their bodies close to one another. Y/N looked where they were and she saw that Jenna was working in a... photo booth.
„Uhm... yeah? Why? Do you need something?“ the other girl asked looking down at her again.
„No, I just wanted to see you.“ There goes her dimples again. They are so cute. Her whole face is too pretty. Y/N wanted to say something but was cut off by another voice.
„Hey football player glad you finally decided to come.“ She turned to Jenna „I found her when I went to the toilet, couldn´t hold myself from inviting her to our booth.“ She shot her teasing smile. Jenna face palmed herself, she could already imagine how she approached you and what she said. Gideon was like that, she is a big matchmaker but also really attentive and sweet when it's convenient.
„Charlie this is Gideon, Gideon Charlie.“ She pointed her hand from one to another.
„Hey Charlie, I heard a lot of things about you.“ She smirked and Jenna pushed her away, awkwardly looking around as she stood in front of Y/N.
„Ehm...so, I heard you have an upcoming game this Saturday, are you excited yet?“ the shorter girl asked as she looked at her feet, arms folded. Y/N found her cute right now, how she couldn´t look at her like she did before her roommate interrupted them.
„I pretty am, even though I don´t even know if I will play, I´ve been training only two weeks, and I’m not sure if the coach will let me play.“ She shook her shoulders.
„Oh I´m sure you will be playing, you are one of the best on your team.“ Jenna winked at Y/N and smiled at her. „I saw you a couple of times.“
Now, Jenna was acting as if she had seen her just a couple of times but the truth is, she saw her every practice. She doesn´t know why, at first she just went there cause she didn´t feel like going straight to her dorm, but when she saw you she knew that she wanted to see you again. You were so good. You acted like a totally different person on the field, you were confident and energetic, and your every move was calculated. You could easily catch someone´s attention. You caught Jenna´s attention.
Y/N felt a lot more confident because of Jenna´s words. She wasn´t the first person who said this to her.
„Will you come to see us?“
„Are you inviting me to watch you on your game?“ Jenna teased her.
„Well, if you already have some plans you don´t have to, I mean you probably have better things to do than to watch some stinky players running around the field chasing the ba-“ Y/N didn´t even finish her sentence and the other girls cut her off.
„I will come“ Jenna wouldn´t miss your first game, she was excited to see you being competitive. There was something about you that was always bringing her thoughts to you. You were such a good listener, a soft speaker, and intelligent. She doesn´t think she has ever met someone like you in her life. You were like a fresh air to her stereotypical life. She wanted to be with you cause every time you are together, you give her something new.
Jenna watched Y/N. She couldn’t tear her eyes off her. You were like someone else like they switched you. In-person, you were sweet, quiet, caring, and soft. On the field, you were almost aggressive but not in a bad way, you knew what you were doing. This was definitely your alter ego and Jenna was here for every second of it, you put on quite a show. Running back and forth in your jersey, defending than attacking, the ball moved exactly where you wanted it to move. You were fast, probably the fastest one on the field.
Jenna enjoyed it so much. She used to play football when she was a kid with her family when they spent time together and also in school. But that was a long time ago, she may not play it anymore but she still likes to watch it.
The girl moved her eyes as you got the ball on your foot and started to run trying to get near the opponent's net. Players trying to stop you, running after you, trying to slide their way to you, nothing works. When you got near the goal area you tried your luck and shot the ball into the net. The opponent's goalkeeper couldn’t see the ball because of his teammates standing in front of him, making the ball straight to the top corner. Whistle. Goal.
Jenna stood up clapping her hands big smile on her face as she watched you running to your teammates to celebrate your success. The whole tribune of the students from your school is clapping, yelling supportive words, happy that they are winning against a different university. Your coach is standing near the field with his arms folded and a proud smile on his face. It was definitely a good idea to put you in the first lineup.
“Charlie! That was so good!” Mason tapped your back, he had the biggest smile, and he was so happy for you. You were a big talent.
The game went on and it was almost the end, Y/N became calmer because they were leading. She shot her gaze a couple of times at the tribune and every time she could see Jenna looking at her, she hoped she was enjoying this. Y/N also saw Georgie and Hunter, both boys beside each other smiling widely at her with their thumbs up, Georgie with a hot dog in another hand.
Soon the game ended, and they won 3:0. Y/N was glad that her first match was successful and hopefully, she impressed others. In the changing room, her teammates were chanting, happy about their first match. After that, she walked out of the changing room, bag on her shoulder, still in her football jersey, she’s planning to take a shower in her dorm. She knew that they were a bit suspicious about her cause every time after practice she just took her bag and left, unchanged. But they thought maybe “Charlie” was just shy which was okay not everyone liked showing off skin, even if it was in front of the same gender. Y/N was near the entrance looking into her phone, texting her brother about her game.
„Hey football player.” She looked up from her phone and saw Jenna leaning on her side into the doors looking at her.
„Oh hi, wasn‘t expecting you, did you enjoy the game?” the girl asked as she got closer to her. Now they were looking at each other holding gaze, Jenna looked up biting her lip. You look good right now. Still being in jersey, sweaty forehead, hooded eyes from the energy you gave on the field. If this was someone else she was sure she wouldn’t find them as attractive as you right now.
Jenna nodded her head „Congratulations on your first successful game, pretty cool goal if I have to say.” She says softly still looking at the other girl.
„Pretty cool? It was awesome! Didn’t you see how I ran through half of their players and still shot it?” Y/N started defending herself „I was unstoppable.”
Jenna threw her head back letting out a laugh. She grabbed Y/N by the arm and started to pull her outside of the building.
„Come, we need to celebrate your first win”
„Wait, but I’m still in these clothes, I can’t go anywhere like this.”
Jenna shot her a look „There isn’t any problem if you ask me, but we can stop by your dorm?”
They walked out, still holding each other's hands, Y/N didn’t want to be rude and tear up their hands, she liked this feeling, Jenna’s hand was so soft and warm. Y/N felt good with Jenna, like she has finally someone just for herself.
But her thoughts went to her words, what if her roommate was there and saw them together? He would beat her up. But it was afternoon and he used to be at this time somewhere in the amphitheater.
Y/N agreed as they started making their way towards the dorm rooms. They chatted about some party going on tonight. Jenna’s friend Gideon invited her. Jenna was about to decline but her roommate said there would be also a football team probably celebrating their win. That made Jenna say yes to her offer which Gideon only laughed at.
To Jenna “Charlie” was special, she didn’t know what caught her attention, something inside of her wanted to be with you, by your side.
Luckily for Y/N, Percy was nowhere to be found. She invited Jenna to their room she took her new clothes and went to get a shower. Jenna was sitting on Y/N’s bed, looking around trying to find something which would only make her closer to her friend. Your bed smelled like you, she loved your scent it was like citrus with cedar or something like green tea, she couldn’t describe it in one word. On your desk were books and a notebook, you had it perfectly organized, and everything had its own place. Yeah, you are definitely a perfectionist. When she looked at the other side of the room she could exactly say who was the owner.
The paintings and papers spread around the desk and floor, different types of art. She found them a couple of times in her locker, at the table where she sat, or in her mailbox. Paintings of her. At first, she found it cute but it kept graduating as she got them almost every day. And it was always herself.
But maybe she would be glad, if it ended just with this.
She was in a room where lived two people. One that makes her most pleasant in their presence and the other one she feels most uncomfortable with.
„So what´s your plan for today?“
They were eating in some corner restaurant, Jenna got herself some vegan food, and Y/N sat in front of her with a plate of big burger and some fries. It felt good seeing them like this, both out of student uniforms in their civilian clothes, enjoying each other´s company.
Jenna wanted to know, inconspicuously, if her friend in going to the local party that night. If she said yes then Jenna would also have some plans, that´s for sure. Even though she doesn´t like parties, not anymore.
„Well, some of my teammates are going to some party, I don´t know where, they asked me if I´ll join them.“ She said as she kept eating her fries. „I haven´t decided yet, I´m not really into parties, too loud for me.“ That really didn´t answer her question.
„What about you? Any plans?“
„Gideon was saying something about today´s night but I´m not sure yet.“
„Oh, cool.“ And just like that they continued eating their meals, both hoping, at some point they´ll see each other today. Jenna looked up from the table to Y/N, the girl looked flawless right now, with her invincible walls down, silently eating a burger. Jenna pushed her hand up and stole some fries from her plate. Her friend looked at her with her head not moving from her meat, unimpressed. Softly shook her head from side to side.
„You are lucky it´s you, if it was someone else they wouldn´t have a hand by now.“ She said. She didn’t mind sharing food, sometimes, and she definitely didn´t mind sharing food with the brown-eyed girl.
Y/N was thinking. About Percy to be exact, about their deal or more like his, because he isn´t doing anything to repay. But she promised him she would at least try. And she also tried. When she and Jenna had classes together, like when they were lab partners, she could feel Percy´s stare. His eyes were boring into her skull so hard that sometimes she could even feel a headache. When she looked up at him he moved his eyes to the other girl and back to her. Signalizing what he wants from her.
So she asked. She asked Jenna if she was dating anyone or if she ever thought about going out with Percy. Jenna only laughed at her and shook her head, trying to avoid any questions about him. Y/N could feel something was off, the brown-eyed girl knew the boy and still didn´t even look at him or say hi to him. But Y/N doesn´t know why is she like that. Something happened between them and she wasn´t sure if she wanted to know. It wasn´t her business after all.
After Y/N´s questions, Jenna felt conflicted. She was used to guys asking her out, trying something with her but not you, you were different. You are the only guy who hasn´t tried to get with her. And she liked that. But when you asked her about Percy and said that she would be perfect for him, she almost wasn´t sure if she heard you right.
Perfect for him. But would he be perfect for her? Jenna knew the answer to that question. She disliked him. For what he made her feel. Jenna didn´t want to be perfect for him, she wanted to be perfect for you. And it took her quite a long time to realize that she liked you more than a friend. She talked to Gideon and Emma about it, they told her the same thing.
But did you feel the same?
Jenna was now standing in someone´s living room. Loud music and drunk students were escorting her thoughts. She was looking for her friends, they agreed that they would meet there. She saw Gideon sitting on the sofa, cup in her hand. She was talking to someone Jenna recognized from school. She sat beside her and her roommate looked her way.
„Hey, glad you could make it.“
„What are you drinking?“ Jenna grabbed Gideon´s cup and smelled it.
„Vodka, I got it from the kitchen, down the hallway to the right, you want me to go with you?“ Gideon was sweet, she knew Jenna didn´t enjoy such a thing as a party.
„No it´s okay, I´ll get it, maybe I´ll see Emma or Joy somewhere.“
So with that, she picked herself up from a sofa and started to go into the kitchen. There were a bunch of teens, she barely could make it through them. Some were really drunk and the scent of strong alcohol could be smelled from them. Some guys who saw her shot her flirtatious smirk. She brushed them off and was trying not to make any eye contact on her way. When she saw football players she immediately started looking around if you weren´t somewhere over there. No, you weren’t. She was looking forward to meeting you today but still with no luck. She hoped you would decide to go there.
She made it to the kitchen took a cup in her hand and started looking for some juice. She didn´t feel like drinking, maybe if she was at home with some close friends or you, she would drink but she was at a party, by herself in a stranger´s kitchen.
„Hey.“
Jenna heard a voice from the back. The girl turned around and saw someone she was trying to avoid at all costs. She hoped he wouldn´t be there today but of course he would, they are in the same school after all.
Percy was standing by the kitchen entrance, eyes low, looking at her. They were alone there and loud music could be heard from the other room. Suddenly she didn´t feel safe. The last time they met they were in a room full of people and it still didn´t stop him. Now they were alone and she felt even more scared cause there was nothing that could stop him from doing whatever he wanted.
„H-Hey.“ She shot him nodding with her head and continued with whatever she was doing, with her shaking hands, acting like he wasn´t even there in the first place. But she could feel his cold presence closer behind her. She turned around and was met with his face. He smelled like he just drunk a whole bottle of alcohol. She took a step back from him.
„Is there something you want?“ Jenna asked him. He never broke the eye contact, slowly smirking.
„Yeah, actually, you could help me with something.“ He went to grab her hand but she pushed him.
„Stop, you know what happened last time-“ he cut her off.
„I don´t care! Why can´t you just give me a chance? We could be so good together. You like that, right? You like it when guys are chasing you, it makes you like you are in charge, well Jenna, now it´s different, now I´m in charge here.“
„Please get away from me you are scaring me.“ She felt like crying like she got stones in her throat. Still walking away from him, praying that someone will show up and save her. She felt so small in front of him, no one had ever made her felf like this, like she was some prey.
„What are you doing?“
She turned her head to the new voice that was heard in the kitchen. And she was so glad, felt like she could breathe again. There was you looking at him, no emotion in your face, then you walked up to them and looked right into Percy´s eyes.
She had never seen you like this, you were so serious and didn´t show any emotion. You continue your stare down without blinking. Even though you were shorter than him, not much, you still had a bigger and stronger aura than him.
„Is there a problem?“ Y/N could smell the alcohol from his mouth and could see that he didn´t know what he was doing. So that´s why she knew she couldn´t show that she was scared. It would make him even more confident.
His eyes changed when he realized you were here to get him away from Jenna.
„Charlie, what are you doing? We had a deal! You promised!“ he shouted at his roommate. He knew he shouldn´t trust you. He is sure that you like her. You want to take her away from him!
He started to breathe harder and his eyes became more dangerous. You weren´t scared of him, you were calm and waiting for his next move.
„Leave.“ Y/N said with a low voice, face unimpressed. But before he could say anything else Mason and a couple of others of your teammates came into the kitchen.
Mason walked up to the three of you and stood even taller than Percy. Percy was now in a corner and had nothing to do. So he smiled dryly and walked away.
When he left Y/N turned her gaze to Mason and silently thanked him for standing beside her, he smiled at her with his soft eyes and left with their teammates. You turned down to Jenna and saw her already looking at you. She was hugging herself and looked so gentle and small.
„Hi, you good?“ Y/N asked, almost whispering, waiting for the other girl's answer.
„Yeah.“ She softly let out. She then threw her arms around the taller girl. Head buried in her chest. Y/N hugged Jenna strongly, letting her know that she was there with her.
Yeah, Jenna was sure that you were perfect for her.
next chapter
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hyunfilms · 7 months
Text
connected (hhj) | one shot.
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—summary: a night alone at the bar leads you to a beautiful man named hyunjin.
—pairing: hwang hyunjin x f. reader
—genre: (18+) strangers to lovers | fluff, smut
—word count: 5.6k
—content/warnings: love at first sight kinda thing? soulmates if you really squint, was kinda inspired reading yung pueblo's poem (his poem isnt available anymore rip), cussing, model/artist hyunjin, oc and hyunjin are completely enamored by each other & hyunjin got googly eyes hehe, he is very sweet and a gentleman though, alcohol consumption, intoxication, kisses/making out, protected sex, praising, oral (f. receiving), fingering, sprinkle of spit play, ass-smacking, breast play, sprinkle of choking, missionary, doggy style 🤓 woof, multiple orgasms (like 2 lol), after care and cuddles, lightly edited so i apologize if i miss anything!!, very self-indulgent and just something i needed to write out 😭
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—ON ROTATION: fwm - tone stith / for us - v
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Sleepless nights.
It’s another one of those sleepless nights— for him, for her, for many people, for you.
Your business trip to Paris was coming to an end tonight; an early AM flight scheduled in the morning to bring you back to your beautiful, but also mundane life in California. Although grateful for the opportunity to travel here and explore for a week and a half, you were ready to get back to the familiar. The familiar places, the familiar faces, familiar routine. You sigh at the thought, finishing up your cocktail at the bar while scrolling through social media. 
“Another one, miss?” The bartender comes to you with a small smile on his face.
“Please. Thank you.” You nod and reciprocate the smile, eyes now glancing around the room as you feel the alcohol slowly running through your veins. The bar was beautifully decorated in dark, elegant decor, lights dimmed throughout the entire room. Luckily for you, your hotel room was only a few floors up— making it incredibly easy for you to enjoy yourself and let loose; something you haven’t been able to do while being bombarded with coworkers and a tight agenda.
Your eyes fall onto the couple just a table or two away. They’re enjoying their drinks, though their eyes say they’re bored and over each other with the way they can’t keep eye contact for longer than 2 seconds. Then, your eyes fall onto the lady in the far corner who is typing furiously away on her phone. Your eyes shift to the gentleman all the way down on the other end of the bar, repeatedly looking down at his watch before bringing the phone to his ear for the umpteenth time; probably waiting on a date that never showed up when they said they would.
“Whiskey on the rocks, please?” Your eyes now fall onto the tall, attractive man that slides into the empty seat next to you— setting his bag onto the surface before letting out a heavy sigh. He’s in a black sweater, slacks and black chelsea boots, and you can’t help but notice how everything sits on his figure so, so perfectly. Hair pulled back in a neat ponytail, a few bangs framing the sides of his face; freshly shaved undercut. His tongue quickly swipes the surface of his pink, plump lips before he thanks the bartender and sips on his drink— you’re sure you’ve never seen anybody so perfectly sculpted.
Was this a cruel joke?
“Your cocktail, miss.” You thank the bartender again before shyly sipping on your second glass of the night, trying to keep to your own space.
“Sorry, hope someone wasn’t sitting here already.” He suddenly says, making you turn towards him. There’s really no one else around but you two; perhaps, another individual a few seats down, and that gentleman at the end still waiting on his date. 
“Oh, um. No.” You give him a toothless smile. “You’re good.”
“Cool.” Is all he says before chugging the whiskey in his glass, asking for another round. “It’s been a long night. Wanna take a shot with me?” He turns to you again, licking his lips yet again. “No pressure.” You keep your eyes on him as you think about your next move. He is an attractive man, a harmless one at that. 
It’s your last night in Paris, what do you have to lose?
“Sure.” You shrug. “Why not?”
“Nice to know you’re down.” He laughs a bit before calling the bartender and asking for two shots. “What’s your poison?”
“Tequila.” He pokes his bottom lip out before nodding in agreement.
“Two shots of tequila it is, then.”
“Didn’t you just down some whiskey? That’s a little dangerous.” He laughs before turning in his seat to face you.
“Don’t worry about me sweetheart, I’m staying here.” Crazy, you think. Out of all the times to bump into someone who is also staying at this hotel. “What about you?”
“I’m here, too.” You sip on your drink some more.
“Then we’ll enjoy it.” He flashes his pearly whites when he smiles. “Hyunjin.” He holds out his hand.
“Y/N.”
“Pleasure to meet you.” He caresses the surface of your hand with his thumb just as the bartender comes back with two shot glasses filled to the brim with tequila. The bartender points to your cocktail with a smirk.
“Need a refill to wash down the tequila, or do you need something else?”
“I should be good. Thanks.” He winks before tending to the others down the line.
“So, Y/N. Where are you from?”
“California. What about you?”
“Seoul.”
“Nice. One of my friends moved there recently.” You quickly think about Lola, hoping she’s doing okay. Mental note to send her a message on Kakao later. “What brings you here?”
“Mm, probably the same reason as you.” Hyunjin smirks.
“Work?” He nods.
“See. Already have something in common.” You chuckle a bit, biting onto your bottom lip. “How long are you here for?”
“I’ve been here for close to two weeks. I’m heading back tomorrow morning.”
“Shame.” He does a slight head tilt. “We probably could have had fun exploring together.” You cock an eyebrow up before letting out a giggle.
“You think I’d be fun to explore with? A stranger?”  Hyunjin grabs his shot glass while gently pushing yours over to you.
“I mean, you were down to take a shot with me. Why wouldn’t you be?” He raises his shot glass. “Cheers, Y/N.” You take your shot glass and tap it against his, the both of you taking the shot to the neck. Hyunjin makes a face [that probably mirrors yours right now] before sipping on a soda as chase. You squint your eyes as the burn lingers down your throat, immediately reaching for your cocktail to chase the rest down— which is definitely not the best choice of action here.
But, you’re enjoying the night. The last night. 
With a beautiful, beautiful man next to you.
“Atta girl.” He laughs.
“Haven’t done that in awhile.”
“Feels kinda liberating in a sense, hm?” He teases. “Since I’m working with a deadline here, let’s get another round going while you tell me about yourself.”
“Another?”
“Last. Promise.” He winks.
“Hm.” You hum. “What can I tell you?” You ask, even though you mainly mean that question for yourself. What can you tell Hyunjin that is enough, and not too much?
“Why someone like you doesn’t have anyone by your side tonight?” He shrugs. “Or, anything. Everything, really. That works, too.” Hyunjin runs his finger along his bottom lip.
“Someone like me? Are you always this forward?” You tilt your head, already starting to feel the shot and cocktail. You like the way his eyes are glued on you, you like the way he says your name. You like the way he’s being forward, you like the way he looks tonight. You like him, you take interest in him.
He is exciting.
“No, but it’s the deadline.” He reminds you, making you snort.
“Well. It’s because I just don’t have anyone by my side in general.” You answer his question with a chuckle. “Just a 24 year old in tech, visiting their Paris office for another project.” You swirl the stirrer in your cocktail. “What about you? What brings you here?”
“Just a 23 year old dabbling in some art stuff. Some Fashion stuff.” He laughs, red tint coloring the surface of his cheeks just as the bartender brings another round of tequila shots. “Nothing too fancy.”
‘It sounds fancy.”
“Maybe, maybe not.” He answers with another one of his cryptic responses, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Ready for round two?”
“Maybe, maybe not.” You mock him and he laughs, passing your shot glass.
“Cute.” He taps his shot glass against yours, giving you a nod of acknowledgment before you two are repeating the process— knocking the shot back, relieving the burn with some sort of chase, giggling at how quick the alcohol is hitting you both. You are drunk, and you should’ve eaten a bit more before this. Fuck. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“If you couldn’t tell already, I think you’re really, really pretty.”
“Is that so?” He nods cutely, and it makes you laugh.
“Mhm. So I mean it when I say I wanna know all about you.”
“You don’t give up, do you?” He shakes his head.
“Nah.” He smiles, bottom lip in between his teeth as he eyes your features. “So, what is Y/N all about?” He sits back a bit while his gaze lingers on you, your eyes. The tip of your nose. Your lips. Your long, beautiful lashes.
He is paying attention to every word that slips from your lips, watching your hand gestures as you quickly explain your family dynamics and how you’ve grown up in a quiet household— always remaining quiet, shy and kept to yourself even until this day. You tell him about your friends back home, how you love to stay at home and be a homebody, how you occasionally find the energy to haul yourself out for long, but fun nights with your girls. You also [drunkenly] stumble upon the topic of exes, which you don’t normally open up about right away. But you’re a few shots in, and it doesn’t help that Hyunjin is actually showing interest in you.
He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you, and he doesn’t plan to.
“Yeah, we’re not really friends or anything like that anymore.” You blabber on. “He blocked me everywhere. Which, you know—” You hiccup, a bit more drunk than you were 5 minutes ago. “I kinda don’t care because he shouldn’t be asking to look through my phone every time I go out. I fucking left after that. No sir, not me. No thanks.” Hyunjin laughs, endeared by how quick you’ve opened up to him. He appreciates it, and he does enjoy the way you talk about life; even if you may view it as simple, quiet.
“You’re right for having left him.” Hyunjin leans forward a bit. “It’s not fair, especially when you’ve never given him a reason to distrust you. You deserve better than that.”
“You think so?” You chuckle.
“Mhm.” 
“Sorry, I totally went off and probably told you a lot more than you should know at this point.” He shakes his head. “What about you, Hyunjin?”
“No, I like hearing you talk. You’re very cute.” He laughs. “I’m not that interesting.”
“Really? I think you are.” You rest your chin on the palm of your hand.
“Yeah?” He smirks. “I just paint. A lot. I do some photoshoots. That’s all.”
“So are you like .. an artist, or something? A model?” He shrugs.
“I’m just Hyunjin.” He smiles. “But, I guess so? You can say that. I don’t have lots of friends, people oddly find me intimidating but I don’t care much to fix that either. I do stick to a few of them, we hang out often. I haven’t dated in awhile either, wasn’t really a priority for me.”
“Why did your last relationship end?” You internally curse yourself for fixing on that one detail out of everything else he’s mentioned. But, he doesn’t seem to mind. Spoiler: he doesn’t.
“Just didn’t click well like we thought we would.”
“I’m sorry.” He smiles.
“Don’t be. I like where I’m at.” 
“That’s all that matters, right?”
“Yeah. Especially right now.” You cock a brow up, head tilting to the side again.
“Right now?”
“Mhm, with you. A few shots and drinks down, pondering on life. My kinda evening. Makes me not regret a thing about coming here.”
“You’re funny.” 
“And you’re pretty.” He licks his bottom lip and bites onto it. His hand is only a few inches away from yours, pinky dying to reach out and pull your hand into his— wanting to playfully lace his fingers with yours. He’s not sure what it is, but he was drawn to you from the very moment he stepped into the bar. He smiled a bit to himself when he saw you people-watching, keeping to yourself as you sipped your drink and continued to scroll through your phone. You were totally oblivious to him from the beginning, and that was okay. Hyunjin wanted to quietly slip himself into the equation and find more subtle ways to talk to you, get to know you.
And he doesn’t regret a fucking thing.
He might be drunk, but he means it. He hasn’t ever felt this comfortable with a stranger, someone he met not too long ago. And that says a lot for him; it says a lot about you, your character. Meanwhile, you don’t think you’ll ever understand how someone like Hyunjin decided to waltz in and take this seat next to you at the time that he did. You’ll never understand the timing of everything, how the universe works and why it had to be a beautiful man like Hyunjin who found you first. But, you also don’t regret a damn thing, and you’re glad you decided to head to the bar tonight— especially alone.
When you meet Hyunjin’s eyes, it’s obvious that he’s feeling something— but that’s not the problem, no. You’re dying to find out what it means for the both of you tonight, how he plans to show you. Because you know he will, and that’s where the problem lies. What happens after that? When you both go along your merry ways?
“You know.. I think I’m just gonna call it a night soon.” You want to find out, but you don’t know if it’ll be good for you.
“Yeah?” You stand but find yourself stumbling on your own feet, letting out a laugh when you try to grab your things and keep yourself together. “Woah, pretty lady.” Hyunjin laughs with you. “How about I walk you to your room?” You pause. Fuck it.
“Okay, yeah. That’d be nice.”
“Alright, let me just pay for our tab—” He gives the bartender a look and gestures to close out the tab, his card already in his hand.
“What, no! Hyunjin.” You wrestle with your own wallet. “Let me pay for my own drinks.”
“Nah, I got you. On me.” He smiles sweetly. “Please.” You let out a sigh and surrender, letting him pay for the drinks before he stands and slips his card back into his wallet.
“Thank you.”
“No, thank you. For being good company.” He gives you a toothless smile. “So, where to?”
“10th floor?”
“After you.” He bids the bartender one last farewell before following you out of the bar and out into the hotel lobby. His eyes can’t help but linger down your figure; eyeing that tight, itty bitty off-the-shoulder dress and the way it hugs your curves, black over-the-knee boots hugging your legs nicely. 
Ain’t no way you were just planning on sitting at the bar looking that fine.
“Hyunjin?” You call for him as you both stand in front of the elevator doors, and he’s snapped out of his thoughts. “You don’t actually have to walk me. I can make it in one piece.” You giggle.
“Leave you alone while drunk? I don’t think so.” He chuckles.
“Hm.” You hum, eyes fixed on the elevator doors in front of you. Hyunjin stands right behind you— inches away, just close enough to feel the heat radiate from his body. When the elevator dings, Hyunjin gently presses his hand against the small of your back; pushing you forward into the elevator. The touch itself brings tingles down your spine, enough where it has you struggling to keep your composure. You lean against the back railing, while Hyunjin stands next to you— hand resting on the rail as he faces your direction. Your eyes meet his, and you feel yourself get weak in the knees;
So weak that your phone slips out of your hands, making a loud thud against the floor.
“Oops, shit.” You mutter.
“I got it.” Hyunjin laughs, bending down to grab your phone. You can’t help but watch his every move closely, watching as he bends down, large hand grabbing at your phone. He’s way too close to your legs at one point, and your mind wanders to what it would be like if he were in between— “Think that belongs to you, miss.” He teases, standing tall as he hands you your phone. “You sure you’re good?”
“I am.” Except, not. Because the elevator is ten times hotter than it was earlier, and it seems to be taking its sweet ol’ time getting to your floor. The tension is unreal.
“What’s on your mind?”
“What do you mean?”
“I can hear you thinking.”
“Mmm, I’m not sure.”
“What do you mean?” You pause as you look at him.
“I mean, has anyone ever told you how attractive you are?” You blurt out, alcohol definitely giving you that liquid courage to say anything and everything that’s currently running through your mind. “You just.. look like that.” He laughs.
“I could say the same for you, pretty. Trust me.” He leans forward towards your ear a bit, his scent lingering and trapping you in. “You wanna know something else?”
“Hm?”
“You make it very hard to not wanna kiss you.” He pulls back a bit to read your expression— almost like he’s giving you leverage to take it and run with it, or leave it. Everything in your court.
So, you choose.
And you choose by gently grabbing at his sweater, planting your lips on his for that first, initial kiss. His lips are soft and pillowy, just like you imagined. You only pull away a few inches, eyes darting from Hyunjin’s eyes, to his lips, back up to his eyes. He chases after your lips within the next minute, hand coming up to cup you by the neck; thumb caressing your cheek. At this point, you’re stuck to Hyunjin— lips seemingly not wanting to part from his. And you’re loving every bit of it so, so much. 
You’re loving every bit of it so much that you don’t even care when the elevator takes a stop, doors sliding open for the man who was patiently waiting on the other side. He eyes the both of you before keeping his distance, positioning himself closer to the doors while scrolling through his phone. Hyunjin lets out a soft sigh in between kisses, completely wrapped up in your scent, your touch— you.
You’ve barely met, but right now, it feels like the world is at a stop; like it’s just you and Hyunjin at this moment in time. You’ll never understand it.
“Fuck.” He whispers against your lips before moving near your ear. “You’re driving me crazy.” He plants a soft kiss on your cheek before navigating back down to your lips. His other hand comes to your thigh and gives it a gentle squeeze before his finger teases the edge of your dress— Hyunjin keeping the kiss alive with your hands still gripping at his sweater. His hand travels around to give your ass a quick squeeze before pressing you flush against him; to be close to him, to feel him.
And god, do you feel him.
He takes this moment to tug on your bottom lip, making you let out a sigh. The man who stepped into the elevator is now a long-gone thought, no longer caring about his presence or the fact that he’s a mere couple of steps away from you two. But finally, the elevator dings again and flashes a bright ‘10’ on the screen. Hyunjin quickly pulls away to check the current floor before slipping his hand into yours and leading the way out of the elevator. As soon as the doors close, the both of you erupt in a fit of giggles while leading the way down the hallway to your room. As you fiddle with your bag and try to fish for your hotel keycard, Hyunjin plants feathery kisses along your neck, down to your shoulder— his fingers still teasing the edge of your dress.
“Finally.” You pout, making Hyunjin laugh before placing another kiss near your jaw. As soon as you step inside the room, you toss your bag aside and wrap your arms around Hyunjin’s neck, legs around his waist. He carries you deeper into the room, setting you down on the edge of the bed to continue kissing you. In between kisses, he works his way with your boots; gently sliding the zipper down before tossing one boot off to the side, then the next.
“This dress.” He gently pushes you down on the bed before peppering kisses along your thighs. “So perfect on you.” He nibbles on your inner thighs, then soothes the surface with his lips. “Can’t believe no one was trying to snatch you up.”
“Maybe it’s just meant to be, hm?” You tease with a playful tone. Hyunjin pauses and looks at you, a smile teasing at the corner of his lips before he comes down and presses another sweet kiss to your lips.
“Maybe I’m just lucky after all.” You feel his hand fiddling with the edge of your dress again, slowly dipping further. “You know, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We can totally—” A kiss. “Just hang out and talk more—” Another kiss. 
“Hanging out and talking more—” Kiss. “Sounds good to me.”
“Mhm.” He pulls away and looks at you, really looks at you, before brushing the hair away from your face. “I mean it. I don’t normally do things like this. I just— I don’t know.” He chuckles a bit. “I’ve been drawn to you since I walked into that bar.” It’s your turn to look at him, really look at him, and you do nothing but pull him back to your lips.
“Please keep going.” Is all you manage to say. Because you are also drawn to him, and you’ll never understand it.
But right now, you don’t want to try and understand it. You just want to take this moment for what it is, for everything that it is.
The intensity grows during the heated kiss, and Hyunjin is back to slotting himself in between your thighs, dress now pushed up.
“Can I?” He asks, and you nod— giving him full permission to remove your panties and toss them off to the side; feet propped up on the bed to give Hyunjin the best view. He doesn’t waste any time before he’s running his thumb down your slit, sliding two fingers in just to get a feel for you. He bites onto his bottom lip, reveling in the soft moans you’re letting out. “So wet for me.” He says before licking a stripe upwards, feeling your legs slightly jolt at the sensation. “Gonna take care of you.” He reassures you by running a hand up your thigh and gently squeezing it. He laps at your folds, sucking gently at the sensitive nub before repeating his motions and pumping his digits into you at a set pace. 
“My god.” You whimper, hands resting on Hyunjin’s head. A gasp falls from your slips when Hyunjin removes his fingers and spits on your pussy, tongue spreading your wetness all over. You continue to grind against his mouth, picking up the pace when you feel yourself reaching your peak. The way he was taking care of you was heaven sent; incredibly heaven sent that with just another roll or two, Hyunjin manages to push you over the edge. “Oh— yes!” You blurt out as you come undone, your entire body going limp while catching stars.
Hyunjin soothes you through small pecks on your thighs, through gentle squeezes of the hips. He stands and hovers over you, giving you a taste of yourself when he leans in for a kiss— holding the kiss there momentarily. When you part, he watches as you take his hand, tongue circling around the two fingers that were just inside of you. He swears he almost loses himself at that moment, but he manages to keep himself together. Hyunjin moves you up on the bed, making sure you’re comfortable in between the tiny kisses he plants all over your body.
Chest.
Hands, fingers.
Collarbone, neck.
Lips.
He’s stripping you of your dress, just as you help him out of his sweater, his slacks. His eyes widen when he pops off your strapless bra, letting out a shaky breath before taking a nipple into his mouth— tongue working in circular motions and pulling back with a pop. You arch your back slightly and let out a moan, Hyunjin taking this opportunity to move onto the next bud and repeating the motion on it. You tease at the waistband of his boxers before he wrestles himself out of them; dick painfully hard and springing free. He lets out a moan when he feels your hand wrap around his member, pumping him a few times and watching the pre-cum leak from his tip.
“Need you.” He breathily moans. “Need you now, pretty.”
“Here.” You pause, grabbing the single condom from your bag on the nightstand. Hyunjin leans back on his ankles, laughing at the box you’ve handed over.
“So, why do you have this?” He smirks as he rips the condom open and begins to slide it down his length.
“Quit. My bestfriend shoved it in my bag as a ‘just in case.’”
“Tell them I said thank you.” You giggle.
“Shut up.” Hyunjin bites his lip before diving in for another kiss. Even as he breaks the kiss, his lips continue to graze yours as he lines himself up at your entrance— eyes glued to yours as he slips himself in slowly. He watches your eyes roll back and shut close, back arching; a silent moan leaving your lips. He continues to push, and push, until he bottoms out and lets out a shaky breath; giving himself a moment to adjust and keep his composure.
God, you feel good around him.
“Fuuuuck.” He moans. “Feels too good. So perfect.” He begins to slowly pick up the pace, hearing your slickness make those noises beneath him that drive him insane. You grip onto his chiseled biceps, pretty white polished nails digging into the surface of his skin. At this point, Hyunjin has found the perfect rhythm— sinking into you every thrust, feeling every inch, every delicate point that he can touch. 
Deeply.
“Hyunjin, god. Please.” You whine and beg continuously, calling his name as he continues to pound into you relentlessly. The only sounds in the room are the sounds of skin against skin, wet kisses being exchanged in between and your names bouncing off of the walls.
“I got you.” Hyunjin feels you squeezing him, and it’s taking everything within him not to burst. He takes a hand to your neck and gives it a gentle squeeze, watching your tits bounce with every thrust he gives.
And he gives it all. 
He sits back for a moment when he sees you starting to move your hips and ride against his movements. Another moan slips from his lips when he watches you roll your hips and work him from beneath, hissing when you speed it up. 
“Such a good girl.” He says. Your moans become a little sharper, a little louder, Hyunjin now taking his thumb to your clit to relieve some of the tension. You begin to whimper, your nails digging a little deeper, and Hyunjin can feel your walls starting to cave. He continues his work on your clit before he's back to fucking you senselessly into the mattress. 
“Right there— Hyunjin—” Your words are broken as you try to chase your high. “Close—” 
“That’s it, pretty.” He says, praising you and egging you to tip over the edge. It takes a few more before Hyunjin sees your face contort in pleasure, back arching just as you tremble underneath him. “Shit, that’s it.” He repeats, feeling your walls pulse against him. He feels himself getting close to his own climax, so he quickly pulls out and has you flip over— face down, ass up. He wastes no time slipping himself back in, continuing at the pace he was just at even though you were still trying to recover from your last orgasm. Though a bit sensitive, the pleasure rebuilds quickly, and you’re back to begging Hyunjin to go harder.
Faster.
Which, he gladly does. He gives your ass a good smack, leaving his print while letting out a groan and gripping your hips. He calls your name, praising you for how good you’ve been to him tonight and how lucky he is. 
“Y/N, fuck— gonna cum.” He breathes out, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he feels his coil threatening to snap. Sooner or later, a beautiful, melodic moan slips from his lips, his hands digging crescents into your hips as he falls onto you and fills up the condom. “You okay, pretty?” He presses a soft kiss on your back, your right shoulder.
“Mhm.” He removes himself from you, the both of you letting out soft sighs at the feeling. Hyunjin tosses the condom in the trash before racing off to the bathroom.
“Let me get you cleaned up.” He says as he grabs for one of your wipes sitting in the bathroom, cleaning you up before himself. You shyly head to the bathroom to finish up and change into something more comfortable— slipping into the covers while Hyunjin throws on his boxers. You’re not really sure what’s next, and to be honest, you’re a little unsure of how to navigate this whole one-night-stand thing.
Because of course you’ll have to. You leave tomorrow. This is the first and last time you’ll see Hyunjin.
It makes you a bit sad, for whatever reason.
“I-I hope you know you aren’t obligated to stay, I know you must wanna go back to your room—” He laughs a bit and turns to you.
“How about I stay until you fall asleep, hm? That sound okay with you?” Yes, yes it does. You want him here, and you want to cherish every last bit of this tender, intimate moment that you’ve shared with someone you connected with hours ago.
“Okay.” He slips himself in, comfortable in his boxer briefs and nothing else. You find this to be the cherry on top; the way Hyunjin pulls you in and allows you to lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat beneath you, the way he lazily throws an arm over you but keeps you close, the way that he just lets you be.
Hyunjin is connected to you. He is drawn to you.
The combination of the alcohol and exhaustion is now pushing you to fall asleep quickly in Hyunjin’s arms. He manages to close his eyes, afraid to move you or wake you— wanting you to get the best sleep possible before your flight tomorrow. You’ll never understand this. But tonight, you won’t try to. Because you’ll take this for what it is, for everything that it is.
You are connected to Hyunjin. You are drawn to him.
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Hyunjin wakes up and finds your side of the bed cold, empty. Which tugs a bit on his heart, but he knew this is what it would come to— being it was your last night, and the two of you lived on opposite ends of the world. He honestly didn’t mean to stay last night, but he couldn’t help himself after seeing how peacefully you were sleeping. He’s not sure he understands it well enough, but he still feels drawn to you; even now, as you board your plane and take your seat in business class. He finds a tiny note on the nightstand with your name and number, and he smiles to himself— making sure to keep the note safe.
Hyunjin keeps the note safe for awhile. Safe to the point where he doesn’t do much with it besides look at the number every now and then before tucking it back into his wallet. He can’t find the courage to text you, call you, because he’s not sure what is left of you two after that night. What would he do from Seoul? What would you do from California?
It’s unfortunate, and Hyunjin really hates it. He’s not sure when he’ll use this. And of course, over time, you’ve wondered what you did, or why Hyunjin didn’t make use of your number. Though, part of you understood where he was coming from. So, you eventually learn to let it be.
Maybe there wasn’t a use for it, for all of this. 
Maybe it was supposed to be a one-night thing, a memorable, one-night thing. A one-night thing that you keep for the memories, a one-night thing that you keep close to your heart– Hyunjin.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Hyunjin keeps the note safe for a while. Safe to the point where he doesn’t do much with it besides look at the number every now and then before tucking it back into his wallet.
Until months later, Hyunjin finds himself thinking about your note just as he steps onto the concrete floor and takes in the fresh air—
Eyes shifting to the California sunrise ahead of him.
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—perm taglist: @ppiri-bahng @jihanlovic @meloncremesoda @sweetlikecherry @asjkdk
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chaoticbardlady99 · 1 month
Text
Darling, Never Stop Haunting Me
(Spawn Astarion x F! Ghost Reader) : Prologue
Synopsis: You’ve haunted Szarr Palace for 354 years after Donella Szarr failed to turn you into a spawn. You have favored Astarion over the other spawn for the last two centuries and after a series of events and a Paul Revere-esque mission to save him from being kidnapped- you finally meet each other in the flesh.
CW: Death (obviously), mentions of Astarion’s trauma, mentions of Gore, mentions of Gale x Tav
Disclaimer- put together the picture for the banner, but I do not own any of the pictures. Birdie is a stock image 💜 I will not describe the readers body in detail- she is just merely on the banner for ✨drama✨. I believe the picture of Astarion is from @cheekylittlepupp . And then the symbol of Orcus in the back is a free image off the internet.
Chapter One : AO3
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Your paws hit the pavement as you frantically search for Elfsong Tavern. You haven’t left Szarr Palace since you died there so many years ago- you didn’t even know what the Hells an Elfsong Tavern was until Dalyria had told Cazador that was where Astarion was staying.
It’s still just before sunset so there is still plenty of time to warn the group about the upcoming kidnapping attempt- you just hope one of them is a Druid.
You aren’t naturally a cat- you’re a ghost and you’ve been haunting Szarr Palace since Donella Szarr killed you what feels like eons ago. You had been merely walking home one evening from a Violin gig you had barely managed to get- it had gone so well that they had asked you to come back and play next week. Oh how life had other plans for poor 28-year-old you who made her entire life about music and died never experiencing romance, true companionship, etc. You had grown up isolated amongst nobles, but you knew of Donella Szarr so her asking you to have tea with her didn’t seem that bizarre.
Needless to say- it was weird watching your own funeral.
No matter how hard you tried, you could never cross over and Gods did you want to. You didn’t even care if you became incorporeal or went on to the Heavens- you just wanted to be able to actually talk to people and do things again. You were incredibly apathetic and haunting with no purpose. You’re a house ghost who has no say over the house- you can’t even help fix things in the damn place without asking to be exorcised.
Your misery was reduced significantly a little over 140 years later when Astarion Acunin experienced his first night in Cazador’s kennels. His screams haunted you and you are the one who is supposed to be doing the haunting!
You did everything you could to try to make his time with Cazador somewhat bearable, but your efforts were too small and you feel as if you failed him. You tried to possess Cazador and it went miserably- you had almost been consumed by the darkness in him entirely. You had been a mere fly to his soul.
You were able to possess Godey easily enough, but you had to be careful because he has sent Cazador on a multitude of Ghost hunts before.
Astarion knew you were around- he’d acknowledge you as ‘Ghosty’ whenever his candle would flicker out and then come back full force for him to finish sewing his clothing. He could sense your presence at other times too- one time you had been certain he was able to see you as you sat with him for the duration of Cazador’s ‘poem’.
You favor Astarion over the other spawn, but you have come to justify it as Astarion was the one who needed your help more. He was frequently the subject of Cazador’s rage and need for violence. You know it’s because he resembles Vellioth to some extent and you are certain that’s why he targeted Astarion in the first place.
Cazador introduced himself to Astarion when he was a young magistrate. It had been at one of his many lavish affairs and you had seen the menacing glint in Cazador’s eyes when the young man walked in with some over the top female on his arm.
Cazador asked Astarion to begin convicting people wrongfully and sending them to Szarr Palace. He offered a handsome amount of gold and Astarion took the offer without a thought. You immediately knew this man had signed over his soul- knowingly or unknowingly, you had no idea.
Things became even messier when Cazador began to have the closest thing to love he could feel for the young magistrate. Astarion was very intelligent- he wasn’t charismatic naturally, but he knew how to study behavior and work around it. He knew what Cazador wanted to hear.
So when Cazador found out Astarion had taken another deal on the side as well as potentially a more formal lover, well, he had signed over his fate. Cazador framed a Gur Hunter, Astarion sent him to the other group of slavers instead of Cazador, and Cazador let the Gur know this anonymously ‘in good faith’.
At first you thought it was just karma doing it’s work, but then you learned that Astarion was just another young person like you who was just trying to figure it out. Where you thought you were doing your duty by meeting with a noble, he felt he was doing his- at first at least. He had been sending a reasonable sum of money back home to his parents, but he became greedy and ended up paying for that with a life sentence.
Some higher power must be merciful because it had seemed that Astarion had managed to escape Cazador for good.
Then the moron decided to come back and now Cazador is sending Leon after him with three of the other house spawn.
You don’t care for possessing any living soul- a tacky couch? Maybe, but only because it doesn’t have thoughts. However, desperate times called for desperate measures and you are really regretting not getting the gumption to possess a person.
You are far too cute with your fluffy grey and white fur and big green eyes. People keep trying to scoop you up in their arms and children chase after you. Other cats are just plain rude and unhelpful- you have no idea how you are going to find this Tavern.
“You seem rather lost, little ghost,” a voice says from a nearby tree.
You peer upwards to see a Calico Tressym eyeing you curiously. If you weren’t so focused on finding Astarion, maybe you would be mad at her for openly announcing you are a ghost.
“I’m looking for someone,” you say as you try to catch your breath, “I need to get to Elfsong Tavern as soon as possible.”
This seems to interest the Tressym because she immediately jumps down with a serious expression on her face.
“Who and why?”
Screw it- you don’t have time to be picky.
“I’m looking for a man named Astarion- his life is in danger,” you say quickly.
She seems to digest this information for a moment as she circles you. Her eyes explore your fluffy form and she seems to decide you are trustworthy because she beckons for you to follow her.
You race after her as she flies over the buildings and lands- wait, why is she landing in front of that man in purple on the beach!? That’s not Astarion or a Tavern!
In spite of your confusion, your gut pushes you forward and before you know it- the man you are looking for comes waltzing out of a house with a disgusted look on his face while a tall, red tiefling woman holds a very old heart in a jar.
“Astarion,” the man, Gale, tries not to make his own panic too obvious, “come here.”
“You’re going to have to do better than that to interest me, Gale,” he says with an emphasis on the man’s name, “why should I?”
“For God’s sake- it’s about Cazador,” the man hisses.
This grabs his and his other three companion’s attention. They immediately huddle around Gale- the silver haired woman immediately aweing upon seeing you and the blonde haired woman intertwining her hands with Gale’s. The red tiefling is still holding the heart and you gag upon seeing it which earns a laugh from the group.
“What about Cazador?”
Astarion’s voice betrays the panic he’s feeling- for whatever reason, his panic prompts him to scratch you between your ears. You fight the urge to purr. You are a person- dammit! A dead one, but a person nonetheless!
“This Ghost,” Gale says with uncertainty while pointing to you, “is saying that Cazador is sending Leon, Aurelia, Yousen, and Violet later tonight to detain you.”
“She was practically barreling through streets- poor thing was about to experience her second death,” adds Tara.
“Apparently it was a suicide mission,” Gale adds.
You are suddenly lifted up from underneath your arms and a pair of ruby red eyes are boring into yours. After a few moments, a giggle of all damn things exits this man’s mouth.
“There are at least five or six useless thralls you could have possessed and you chose a cat?”
You flatten your ears and leer at him before attempting to communicate with him- only to be disappointed when an angry yowl leaves your little mouth. Astarion fucking giggles again. THIS IS SERIOUS!
“This is far more adorable though, I will give you that,” Astarion says as he begins to walk towards the tavern with you now cradled in his arms.
You never would have found the damn place on your own. It was clear on the other side of the city!
“It’s a shame I can’t understand you a single bit,” Astarion says, “I would love to know how Cazador has been fairing without me there.”
Terribly, but in a crazed, rage filled way. Unfortunately poor Dalyria and Petras had been receiving the treatment usually reserved for Astarion. You were happy to see him thriving, but it does make you sad that it had to cost two other people’s dignity and comfort.
The moment the party enters the room and announces that they are anticipating an attack once the sun sets, everyone jumps up and prepares themselves for the coming battle.
Astarion places you on his bed before grabbing a green bottle and chugging it. He then proceeds to look at you expectantly and you have no idea what he is doing, but it’s starting to kind of freak you out because neither one of you is blinking and he’s beginning to look more and more like the predator he is.
“I don’t think I like this game,” you say, “you look rather terrifying when you don’t blink for long periods of time.”
“Oh, but terrifying is what I aim to be, Darling,” Astarion says with a toothy grin, “I don’t want any of them reporting to Cazador that I’m still the pathetic vampire spawn I was before I went missing.”
“You were never pathetic,” the words come out of your mouth harshly, “and if you must know- they are reporting to Cazador that you practically have a whole army of ‘do gooders’ by your side.”
“Oh really? Do tell me, how does that make him feel?”
“He was surprised at first.”
“Naturally.”
“But then he heard about Orin’s death and your part in it- he’s worried, to say the least.”
“Good,” Astarion snarls, “he should be.”
The siblings arrive exactly when you said they would and they are surprised to see everyone prepared to see them. You are absolutely floored when Astarion tries to convince them that he’ll ascend all of them- he has to know by now that that is not what this ritual will do. You notice the uneasy glances between Astarion’s companions.
If they really are the heroes Dalyria made them out to be, will they truly let him ascend without contest?
There wasn’t time for any questions as the other spawn rush the group. You did manage to help in the fight- Astarion was being cornered by Violet and Leon so you took it upon yourself to wreak havoc upon Violet’s scalp. She went back home pretty quickly and Astarion was able to take on Leon with ease.
Now you sit in front of a big window and take in the moon. Your heart breaks for the 7,000 souls beneath Szarr Palace and the six other house spawn. Poor little Victoria had finally been taken away from the city and replaced with someone else- Leon promised he’d come find her. Gods you hope she doesn’t think Leon purposefully abandoned her. She’s a great kid.
“You seem to be thinking rather hard for a cat.”
“You lied to them.”
The silence between you is deafening before you finally look up at him. Astarion’s face is conflicted and guarded as he searches your features for any indication of what you are feeling. Cats aren’t terribly expressive apparently.
“Don’t give me that disappointed ‘I’m not getting cuddly, Astarion’ look!”
You feel your hackles raise slightly and your tail get puffy as you get up on your feet. You narrow your eyes at Astarion and he meets yours with equal amounts of stubbornness.
“I’ll give you this look for the rest of your damn life if that’s what it’s going to take!” You exclaim, “you can’t kill them! They have suffered too! Dalyria and Petras both tried to keep as much information as they could about you and your companions so that you stood a chance against him! Leon just wants to be with Victoria as a free man!
“The rest of them… they think it’s going to free them… they are all talking about what they want to do with their lives after this,” you say with anger and sadness in your voice, “You can’t take that from them.Their lives are not yours to take!”
“I hate to disappoint you,” Astarion says with venom lacing his words, “but I could care less about what they went through and their wants or their souls for that matter. No one was there for me, well besides you, but not everyone is an overly friendly Ghost like you.”
Your eyes become blurry and Astarion’s face goes from anger to shock and confusion. It takes a moment to collect yourself, but when you do- you make sure to say exactly what you are thinking.
“It makes me sad.”
“What does?”
“That you ended up being no better than Cazador,” you say flatly, “I thought I saw some redeeming qualities in you. I guess I was wrong.”
You watch it take all of his willpower not to snap your neck right there or pick you up and chuck you against the wall. The woman, Karlach, seems to notice his sudden shift in energy because she’s quickly walking over and scooping you up off the windowsill.
“You look like you need to take a breather, Fangs,” Karlach chuckles awkwardly, “maybe you should go hunting. We’ll be leaving to storm the castle before you know it.”
So he does and Karlach takes you over to her bed.
“That was awfully harsh, Boo,” Karlach says, “a gentler touch may have been better.”
“Karlach, I’ve been a ghost for almost 400 years. I have been forced to watch either Donella, Vellioth, or Cazador terrorize handfuls of people,” you shake your head, “Cazador is the worst of the worst- he’s terrorized over 7,000 people at this point and that ritual will kill all of them. Yet the soul I’m most upset about losing is Astarion’s.
“So yes, it was harsh, but it needed to be said.”
Karlach is quiet for a moment, “I suppose that’s true… but 7,000 people? I thought there were only 7 vampire spawn?”
“What? Who in the hells told you that?”
“Fangs- obviously.”
Oh right, he wouldn’t know that every person he’s ever shared a bed with is rotting away, starving in Cazador’s dungeon.
“No,” you say softly, “unfortunately there is a lot more going on than Astarion knows.”
**********************************************************************
Astarion is the first through the door when the group comes back from Szarr Palace. You have been sitting on Karlach’s bed the entire time- pacing anxiously. Scratch and the Owlbear cub would ask you to play with them, but you couldn’t get rid of the twisting knot in your stomach.
He goes to his bed and grabs a new change of clothes before weakly walking in the direction of the washroom. Karlach makes eye contact with you when she walks through the doors and she gives you a big smile.
Wait, does that mean?
She follows it with a thumbs up.
He didn’t do it. Holy Gods he didn’t do it! BUT WHY!?
You have a million questions, but you’re sure he doesn’t want to talk to you anytime soon. You bid a farewell to Karlach and the other companions. She tries to convince you to stay and talk to Astarion before deciding to leave, but you merely shake your head. You said your piece and you can return to haunting a now empty castle.
Or maybe you’ll be a cat around Baldur’s Gate. Tara seems to enjoy wandering around and you did forget how lovely the sun feels.
The walk back to Szarr Palace goes far smoother than your adventure finding Elfsong Tavern. The courtyard is still in bloom so the scent of red roses acts as your guide. Gods- Cazador was such a cliché. You hope these roses die and someone decides to plant literally anything else. Maybe you could figure out how to? You can dig hypothetically.
So that’s what you do. You begin digging out the crap ass red roses and do your best not to get caught on thorns. After the fourth or fifth rose, you have it down to a science and you’ve gotten quite a lot of work done on one flower bed. This cat thing isn’t all that bad!
Well, minus your excessive need for water and food, but there’s a running fountain nearby so that’s promising. The food part is going to be the harder part. You haven’t had to eat for centuries now and the growling in your belly is entirely foreign to you.
Should you try to steal food? Honestly, you’re adorable enough, you could probably beg for some food. Trying to hunt for a mouse is absolutely off the table and forget a bird all together.
You look up at the sky. The last bits of daylight cling to the horizon and the moon begins to kiss the sky. You are going to keep working until the sun has set, you’ll attempt to clean up, and then you'll sucker some people into giving you food.
Back to digging it is!
You continue your work and think about what you may plant. Maybe you could find seeds for food- there are plenty of homeless who could use it, but would they dare go to Szarr Palace for produce? The idea makes you snort. Donella would be infuriated if you turned the front of her “work of art” into a free farmer’s market for the needy.
“Are you taking up gardening now? I think it suits you,” a familiar voice says, “well, maybe more so if you were actually a person and not a cat.”
You slowly turn around and you’re met with the sight of a sheepish Astarion. He absentmindedly plays with his own hands, but you are happy to see some of the tension melt away when he sees your face and begins laughing.
“You are caked in dirt, Darling.”
“I would hope so- if this is something else then I have a real problem on my hands.”
“Ha!” Astarion says, “I don’t think you have any reason to fret. I can’t remember the last time Cazador had anyone tend to these stupid things.”
“Oh he didn’t have to,” you say in exasperation, “Donella enchanted the damn pots so that the plants can grow without soil. She hated the smell of fertilizer.”
“Donella?”
You blink at Astarion two times and tilt your head to the side.
“Cazador never mentioned his aunt?”
“Does this look like the face of a person who knows about Cazador’s aunt?”
“Put your sass back in your pockets, Mister,” you say with equal amounts of attitude, “Donella Szarr was the first Vampire Lord in Baldur’s Gate. She created Vellioth and well, you know how well that all went.”
“But how do you know Donella?”
“She killed me,” you say bluntly, “she took advantage of my naivety. She thought I was a promising young woman and she was very anti-patriarchy which I did really appreciate. However, she invited me over to tea to discuss a potential job offer at a party of her’s. She didn’t know how to properly create a spawn so when she drained me dry and I never popped back up- she realized she made a terrible mistake.
“Not because she cared about me, but because my parents were relatively prominent in the community.”
“How long ago was that?”
“Hmmm… well I was born in 1,110 then Donella killed me at the beginning of her dynasty in 1,138 sooooooo about,” you think so hard your ears begin to twitch, math was never your strong suit, “354 years ago.”
“Good Gods, you’ve been trapped in this damn place longer than I have. Why in the hells would you come back?”
That is a good question- why did you come back? You suppose it’s because at one point you were attached to this house and it made you uncomfortable to be away from it for longer than eight hours at a time, but that’s dissipated. You didn’t realize your attachment had changed to a person- the vampire spawn asking the question- until he disappeared and you felt like you did the one time you tried to stay away from Szarr Palace. It had weakened you significantly, but now that you’re a cat, that attachment isn’t there and you are free to go about your silly little business.
You also don’t know where else you would go. It’s not like staying in the Rothwell crypt is going to do wonders for your mental health and going back to haunting this palace means you’ll feel uncomfortable again until you are reattached.
“I don’t have anywhere else to go,” you admit, “so I came back to the only place I know. I think I might piss on Donella’s legacy by making this a community garden to feed the homeless. She’ll be infuriated- rolling over in her urn.”
Astarion snorts, “your idea of revenge is helping the needy? Gods, you’re insufferable.”
“What would you suggest then?” You retort, “I can’t imagine it will be easy finding seeds for anything worth planting. Unless you can hook me up with some sunflo-.”
“What if you traveled with me instead?” Astarion interrupts you.
Oh.
You blink a lot and your jaw has dropped. The happiness spreading through your body makes your paws tingle with excitement.
What an exhilarating concept. However, there must be a catch.
“You just said I was insufferable.”
“Just because I asked you to travel with me doesn’t make that any less true,” Astarion says, “but I’ve rather enjoyed your silent company over the past two centuries, I’m sure I’ll get used to the eccentricities of a ghost cat.”
“It’s quite a generous offer,” you say slowly, “why do you want me to travel with you?”
Astarion looks positively exasperated by your onslaught of questions.
“I would like to remind you that the last time I trusted a vampire- I died!”
“I suppose that’s fair,” he says with a sigh, “for a noble and a bard, you certainly aren’t one for mincing words.
“I was conflicted about ascending. No one was really giving me a reason not to because no one wanted to upset me. You, on the other hand, humbled me,” he says with a shrug, “and the lack of haunting I’ve experienced over the past several months has been absolutely terrible, Darling. I can’t keep a candle going as bright as you do to save my life.”
He says the last part with flourish and embellishment followed by an awkward cough.
You look to the roses and the garden bed then back to Astarion. It’s a much more fun idea- going with Astarion. It would be safer to remain here, but your life was cut so short so long ago. What if you could find a solution to become a person again? What if you could have the life you’ve always wanted?
“Okay.”
“Okay meaning?”
“I accept your invitation to travel with you.”
You are being scooped up from underneath your armpits again and Astarion holds you at arm's length. You flatten your ears and look at him unenthusiastically. Maybe you made a mistake.
“Wonderful! Now let’s get you cleaned up- you are positively disgusting right now.”
“You really know how to make a ghost feel special.”
Astarion wipes off the dirt using water from the fountain and a handkerchief before picking you back up and heading towards the cemetery.
“There’s something I need to do before we go back.”
He sets you down on the ground and you are surprised to see that you have arrived at his own grave. He remarks the grave as a symbol of his new life and you pluck a flower to drop on his grave. Astarion scratches you in between your ears and laughs as you chastise yourself for purring.
As you walk through the cemetary, you see another familiar name.
“That’s my family’s crypt!”
You sprint to the door and Astarion looks around for any clerics of Kelemvor before picking the lock. You bound down the stairs and Astarion is close behind you with a flame for light in his hands.
Your mother and father are there. It’s odd that your mother lived a much shorter life than your father considering she’s an elf. It looks like your father remarried and you have half siblings.
“Is this you?”
You look over to where Astarion is standing and sure enough- a plaque on a tomb reads, “Here lies Althaeastra ‘Birdie’ Rothwell. Beloved daughter, talented violinist, and the kindest soul this world had the privilege of knowing. We love and miss you forever and always. Kythorn 22, 1,110 to Alturiak 8th, 1,138’.
Your father’s tomb reads specifically, “Birdie’s Father” and your mother’s has, “Birdie’s Mother.” You had been their only child and you had been everything to them.
“Yeah,” you say sadly, “that’s me.”
Upon further investigation, you find that your mother had set your childhood home on fire after drinking too much. She died in the fire because she didn’t try to leave the house. Your poor father must have been devastated.
Your siblings are still alive, but you don’t have any desire to get to know them. That ship sailed a long time ago.
“I’m ready to go,” you say as evenly as you can, “I’m starving!”
You bound up the steps before he can say anything and you are grateful for the fresh air that fills your lungs. At least now you know what became of your family while you’ve been trapped in Szarr palace.
The walk back to Elfsong is quiet and the two of you sit by the windowsill and watch the world go by as the Tavern goers cheer and laugh. All of Astarion’s companions are fast asleep and your eyelids are feeling droopy following the chicken Astarion had managed to steal for you.
“So you’re a cat named Birdie?”
“No, I’m a ghost possessing a cat and my name is Birdie,” you say pointedly with a big yawn, “and I only go by Birdie because my first name is a monstrosity my grandmother insisted I have. I began singing before I began talking so my parents called me Birdie.”
“There’s no reason to argue semantics, Darling,” Astarion says with a dismissive wave of his hand, “no reason to get defensive. Truly adorable story though.”
You roll your eyes before laying your head down to fall asleep. You don’t protest when Astarion picks you up and sets you down to sleep on his bed. He scratches behind your ears before he also lays down on the bed with his book in one hand and his other petting you until you fall asleep.
Author note: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Please let me know if you would like to be on the tag list! I am using the Ghostwalk campaign for NPCs, locations, etc. It is a 3e Campaign and doesn’t mirror 5e Ghosts. I have tweaked some of the ghost powers and such for the sake of the story, but if you would like more information on Ghostwalk and the City of Manifest, there is a PDF online that is free to download :)
Additional Note: I didn’t think this concept would be received so well! Thank you so much for everyone’s kind words, like, and reblogs 💜 I am out of town, but I will probably end up posting the next chapter because I’m excited and I love Birdie and Astarion.
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Text
Years later, I still think “Poetry Week” was one of the cleverest things the WTNV writing team ever did. Like they took an episode concept that was literally just “Night Vale citizens write poetry and Cecil reads it on the radio! Cute, right? :)” and made it about people living in a dystopian surveillance state using one of their rare opportunities for self-expression to express the fear and paranoia and low grade trauma that shape their daily lives through absolutely horrifying poems. 
Poems about censorship, about anger against the state, about being forcibly silenced (“The town criers have cross-stitched their mouths shut and stapled their eyes open.”), about being watched, being harmed, being turned against the people you love but are unable to fully trust. And all interspersed with Cecil’s cheery, meaningless compliments on writing that he clearly isn’t thinking about (or at least is pretending not to understand the subtext of, which is my personal headcanon). 
Honestly I kind of want to do a full textual analysis of Katherine Ciel’s poem (under the cut) alone, because it’s a beautiful piece of writing where it’s so clear how hard the fictional poet is trying to veiledly describe what it’s like to live with Night Vale-typical level of fear and tension and random, unpredictable moments of surreal violence. The way people become numb to the horror (“Many find it difficult to breathe/without the atmosphere,/but we knew how;/we just stopped breathing”) but also the way that same numbness cuts them off from other people and makes intimacy with others into a terrifying, monstrous thing. And Cecil reads this as a traffic report. I am trying SO hard not to write a whole essay about this. 
But my favorite thing about “Poetry Week” is that it’s no more disturbing than any other Night Vale episode. Same humor, same beautiful prose, like it’s not on a different level than the rest of the show and I can and often do listen to it as just one more soothing, funny WTNV episode. Which is fun because it’s a meta-parallel to how in-universe Poetry Week is a fun community event to bring the town together, but also a rare and precious opportunity for tacit protest against an oppressive regime.
And I just… this podcast is so good, you know? Man. It’s so good. I want to eat it.
On Sunday, a lambent crevice
opened up in the street outside my house.
By Tuesday, birds were flying into it.
“I probably won’t miss you,” my mother said.
“I’m only interested in the end of the world,” I replied.
Many find it difficult to breathe
without the atmosphere,
but we knew how;
we just stopped breathing.
We’re at the Moonlite All-Nite Diner,
and they’re serving up fruit
from the plants growing out of the waitress.
The closed sign whispers, “Please, don’t touch me.”
We watch bodies fall to the ground outside
like deep sea creatures surfacing.
You turn to me and ask,
“Do you ever think about suicide?”
I look away from you and close my eyes,
eat the raspberries to confuse the blood in my mouth.
Now you’re in the only car in the parking lot at midnight
and you’re watching me throw stones at the moon
which hangs low in the sky
so that he can look into your house.
Your sister tried to touch him
from her window once,
and he flinched.
Now he and the oceans watch her with a quiet concern.
The lilac sky is trying to rest her head on his shoulder,
all trees gradually growing through her.
A hummingbird whispers to you,
“Be careful. Under her dress is her skin,”
and then builds his nest in the middle of the highway.
I look back to you,
and you close your eyes.
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starlight-writer · 1 month
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Fighting
A)n: Heyyyy... I'm back :)
Warning: none, angst, yelling, arguing
Gn reader Masterlist
Steven
He doesn’t yell
But it’s that exactly that makes it worse
He refuses to yell, but he’ll be a sarcastic little shit
“Oh really? How lovely.”
“Oh my dearest apologies, my liege, I didn’t realize I had to agree with everything you had to say.”
Steven won’t back down, he’ll keep this energy until he’s done talking about it and then he’ll ignore you
He won’t ask how your day's been, he won't hug you, he won't even look at you
And it’ll drive you crazy
The only reason this started was because Steven missed a date and didn’t acknowledge that he would be late or wanted to cancel
He was working late for Donna again, but this time it just set off something in his head
Normally you wouldn’t be too upset about him missing a date, seeing as he’s got other people to take care of and he’s got a shitty boss, but when you asked him about the date, he blew up
“God, it was one date, why do you have to nag me about it?”
“Excuse me? I wasn’t trying to nag you, Steven, I just wanted to know what happened.”
“You’re not my bloody parent, you don’t need to know!”
“Take that back.”
“No.”
And now you're in your room and Steven's sleeping on the couch
That night will give him time to realize he was in the wrong and he'll feel super guilty
When he wakes up with a stiff back and sore neck, he'll think he deserves it
He'll wait until you come out to get up
And then he's following you around like a lost puppy
He won't say anything, but he'll look so sad and just be following you everywhere you go
It would be cute if you weren't upset with him
You'll have to be the one to start a conversation, but as soon as you say a single word to him, Steven's apologizing faster than you can process
"Love, I'm so so sorry. I was an absolute knob, I was so stressed and upset yesterday and I know that's not a reason to treat you so terribly, but it was such a bad day. I promise I'll make it up with 3, no, 5 dates! We can do whatever you want today and tomorrow and all week! Please forgive me, darling. I know I don't deserve it, but please just give me another chance."
He looks like he's about to burst into tears and kneel for you
(Which would be hot in a different setting)
Depending on how passionate you feel about this, it might take some time to forgive him, but he's there every second of the day
Or if you want him to leave you alone, he'll respect that
You'll find little notes of lovey poems around the flat and your favorite snacks littered around the living room
He honestly feels like a terrible partner so when you do decide to forgive him, just give him a kiss and hug him
He'll cry and apologize a bunch more so just pet his head and tell him it's ok
He'll genuinely sit you down and ask if there's something he can do to get his 'anger issues' under control
Poor baby doesn't have anger issues, he just has a shitty boss <3
Marc
He yells
He yells loud and painful things
He doesn’t care, he can’t bother to care
He’s angry and that’s all he feels
He can’t think past it, it’s like he sees red
He’ll shout until his throat is raw, but he’ll get as many insults and sarcastic comments he can before that happens
He knows what he’s doing is wrong, he knows the only reason you’re arguing is because of him
But he’s not backing down
He wants to hurt you and he does
And it makes everything worse for at least a week
Marc came home absolutely wreaked from a fight and refused your help, preferring to drink and just sit there
If you weren’t so upset at the fact he refused your help and instead wanted the help of alcohol, you’d yell at him about staining the couch with his blood
You’ll either have to deal with Marc breaking out into an argument after the initial one, or leave to stay somewhere else
If you come back the next day, Marc will still be upset
He won’t start yelling at you again, but he’ll ignore you
And it really just stops there
It’s the silent treatment for a week
He'll make dinner for you and all that, but he won't talk to you
He'll stare at you, wondering if you'll be the one to apologize
Or he'll be staring at you to see if you're watching him
You're not
He'll stay silent for an entire week, festering in his anger and guilt until it overflows
And when you come back home from work or being out late, he's waiting for you
And he looks like a kicked puppy
It was no surprise Marc had no idea how to apologize and admit/accept his feelings but at this moment, none of that mattered
His guilt and the feeling of missing you outweighed his discomfort of voicing his feelings
He'll start with an apology, saying how sorry he was and how terrible he felt
He didn't give any excuse or reason for his anger, he just apologized and stood there
He expects you to yell at him, leave him, insult him
Just gently take him in your arms and kiss his cheek
You don't even have to tell him anything, he'll promise to never yell at you like that again
"If I do, you can hit me as hard as you want."
Marc will say, though if you did actually hit him, he'd probably cry
He'll be so genuine with his words and.the nail in the coffin was the fact that he promised
Marc never makes promises, even if he knows he can fulfill them
But he swears up and down that he will never yell at you again
And he does everything in his power to reverse or heal the damage his words did to you
Even going out of his comfort zone
He loves you so much and he doesn't understand why you're still with him, but he thanks every God and Goddess that you are
Jake
He’s dangerously silent
He’ll stand there completely blanked face, eyes set in a slight glare as you argue about something that was definitely his fault
Maybe he missed a date and didn’t bother to let you know he wasn’t coming or wrote off your worry about a few injuries and called you ‘clingy’ and ‘overbearing’
Either way, he doesn’t respond to your anger, just standing there like he didn’t care
And it hurt
Once you were done explaining how you felt or what Jake did wrong, he’ll roll his eyes, pull out a cigarette and sit in the couch
He’ll play the baseball game he may have missed or just watch the news to really set in that something that boring was more interesting than your feelings
“Do you seriously find the news more important than our relationship?”
He won’t look at you
“I can’t believe this. If you care so fucking little, then why are you still here?”
“This is my house.”
“Then maybe I should go if it’s just your house.”
“You should.”
And you do
You go to a friends house, or a hotel, somewhere that you can rest for the night because you’re obviously not going to get anywhere with Jake and you can’t stand his attitude
The second you’re out of the room, Jake curses and throws the tv remote at the wall
He throws everything that he can without any worry of breaking something or getting a noise complaint
He'll throw bottles, plates, pillows, books
Once he's run out of steam, he'll shamefully clean up everything, throwing glass away and putting pillows back
That's give him the time he needs to realize 'oh shit, I fucked up'
He won't come out and admit it instantly, no
He'll fester in his guilt and figure out what exactly he should say
He'll even plan out when he should breathe during his apology
And when you get home, no matter when that is, Jake it waiting patiently with breakfast, lunch, or dinner
He'll give a nervous smile and walk up to you, giving you a hesitant kiss on your cheek before pulling you to the living room couch
Your plate of food is already made and somehow still warm despite Jake no knowing when you'd be back
He'll give an awkward apology, explaining how he's still not used to being something more than a protector for Marc and Steven, how he's still learning to let people in, how he loves you with all his heart despite being such a monster
He might start crying, but he'll try not to show you
He doesn't want to show vulnerability, but he knows it's important in a relationship
So he'll just ask very quietly if he can hug you
Is you say no, he'll nod in understanding as tears fall into his lap
He'll quietly mutter another apology and just sit there, unsure as to what to do
If you say yes, however, he'll gently wrap his arms around your waist and bury his head in your neck
He'll silently cry, muttering 'i love you' over and over again until you say it back
Just rub his back and kiss his head, tell him you forgive him or need time to forgive him and he'll understand either way
He loves you with his entire being, almost like he lives off of loving you
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love-3-crimes · 3 months
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Hey cj fandom! It's currently the 29th of January, which means that yesterday was the last day of the week long strike for Palestine. I apologize for not making a more official post for this earlier. I just wanted to come on here to try to sort of give ideas for what you can do to support Palestinians that should either not require money or just a small amount, and that I have personally done before.
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For boycotting, there is an app called "No Thanks" (Here's a link to my original post) that tells you whether something is on the boycott list just by scanning the barcode. Very easy to use and it should be available on most phones.
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For more information on propaganda and anti-Palestine talking points, I recommend reading Advocating for Palestine. It's a very short booklet, about 16 pages, and it comes in English, Arabic, German, French, Spanish, and Mandarin.
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One way to get your voice heard is by contacting your representatives. Emailing, calling, anything to get their attention! The way to contact them will depend on which country you live in. For Americans, if you don't know who your representative is, use the congress find-your-member website, put your city/state, and a list of members will pop up with their info!
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For the Australian representatives, use this website for the list of members, and for Europe there is a website called Voices in Europe for Peace that helps you get in touch with officials from your country. (It also has template you can copy and paste which is pretty cool!)
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Now for E-SIMS! I'll be honest about this one, I don't know much about how these work exactly, but!!! I was given a link to this tweet that has a pretty good step-by-step of how to get E-SIMS to people in Gaza who need them! Though from what I've seen, they take about a month to activate and be used, so just a warning.
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And, of course, the once-a-day click to help the UNRWA, who have been helping Palestinian refugees for many, many years. This one is especially important right now, as many countries have cut funding to them (more on this post)
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One of the most important things you can do right now is listen and learn. Listen to Palestinian voices, uplift them, read their poems and stories and look at their art. Remember that they are human too. They are still alive! Don't forget about them, please.
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wlntrsldler · 4 months
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crush | sam obisanya
based on crush by tessa violet
description: you started getting origami hearts from a secret admirer. you secretly hoped it was a certain richmond player.
warnings: language-- it's ted lasso, what did ya expect?; kissing! a looootttt of smiling from sam, richmond himbos, sam and jamie bffs
pairing: sam obisanya x f! reader (she/her)
word count: 2.8K
ted lasso requests are open! | main masterlist
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It started on a random Tuesday. 
You walked into the coaches’ office where your temporary desk was located– Beard nearly begged you to take Trent’s old desk because the office without Ted or Trent just felt too empty– and you saw it sitting on top of your work laptop. 
It was a red, origami heart. 
You looked around, puzzled, trying to figure out who left it, or at the very least, if everyone else had one on their desks too. You tried to catch someone’s eye, perhaps they’d reveal who left it on your desk, but all the coaches were in the locker room talking strategy with the entire team. 
Maybe the coaches did get one and they just put it away before you got here. After all, you got to work an hour after everyone else did. You picked up the heart and turned it over to find something scribbled on the back. 
“If I were loved, as I desire to be” - Lord Alfred Tennyson
You furrowed your eyebrows, holding the origami heart gently as you ransacked your small bookshelf beside your desk. Your fingers traced the spines of the books you had laying around, stopping on your copy of Tennyson’s Poetical Works. A bookmark was peeking from the top of the book and you knew exactly what poem it was. 
The small smile on your lips threatened to get bigger as you read the poem over and over again. You were sure you read the poem about fifty times before you shut the book. By the time you got yourself situated, and placed the origami heart with the rest of the trinkets on your desk, it was time to join the coaches in the locker room. 
As you walked in, your eyes met Sam’s. He offered a small wave which you returned happily. Sam was the first friend you made at Nelson Road. When you were hired by KJPR to manage Richmond’s social media and newsletters, your time was split between the KJPR HQ and the facility. It wasn’t because Keeley needed you at KJPR, but more so because you were too nervous to work at a football club every day. 
Turns out, there was no reason to be nervous. About two weeks into your job, you found yourself itching to work onsite at Nelson Road. You loved the community they built there, their camaraderie, and their mutual trust, respect, and love for each other were more than admirable.
And sure, it also helped that Sam Obisanya was here, but that was neither here nor there. 
When Keeley and Rebecca first found out about your crush on Sam, which they had to force out of you– in your defense, you knew about Rebecca and Sam’s history and you didn’t want to step on any toes– they lost it. Rebecca, of course, reassured you that it was alright with her, especially since she was with her Dutchman now. The two women would make googly eyes at you whenever they saw you talking to Sam. 
“Y/N! Why else would he come into your office so often? He fancies you!” 
“He’s just borrowing a book, Keels,” you frowned, “Jan Maas and Bumbercatch do the same thing.” 
Rebecca rolled her eyes, “But they don’t do it as often.” 
You shrugged, “Maybe Sam just reads fast.” 
“Hopeless.” The two women said in sync, laughing as you threw a pen in their direction. 
Stuck in your little daydream, it was Roy’s booming voice that snapped you out of your thoughts. You blinked a few times, surprised to find Sam’s eyes still on yours. You blushed under his intense stare and decided to be the one to break the connection. You walked out behind Nate, pretending to scribble on your notepad. 
“Y/N!” Colin called, running to catch up with you. He threw an arm around you, “How’s my favorite social media and branding manager?” 
You eyed him wearily but played along. You’d need a few more seconds to figure out what he wants, “I’m alright. How about you, Hughes?” 
“I’m doing fine, as well. Say, did you do something new to your hair? It looks absolutely lovel-”
“Give it up, mate,” Sam chimed in, removing Colin’s arm from around you, “She is not taking down your promo pictures from the grid.” 
You feigned a look of hurt, “And here I thought you were just being kind to me!”
Colin let out a long groan, sounding like a toddler throwing a tantrum, “The pictures aren’t flattering, Y/N! I look hideous.” 
You shook your head, leaning up to squish Colin’s cheeks together, “Impossible. You’re proper fit. All of you are.” 
While your (failed attempt) pep talk didn’t lift Colin’s spirits– he then went to Isaac and complained even more as he was stretching– Sam’s ears perked up at your words. Did you think he was fit? No, no, you couldn’t have. You were just saying it to make a point to Colin, right? You said the whole team was fit, not just him. 
You waved goodbye to Sam, smiling at him once again, and he swears he felt his knees buckle from under him. How he managed to make it the rest of the way to the pitch and how he managed to remember how to play football after that was truly beyond him.
“Lord help me,” Sam muttered, leaning down to touch his toes. 
“Yeah, lad,” Jamie grimaced next to him, though his tone was teasing. He watched the entire situation unfold. He knew about Sam’s pining and has been on the receiving end of many of Sam’s “Y/N is so lovely. Y/N is so smart. Isn’t she great?” ramblings. “You need some divine intervention because you’re pathetic.” 
Sam just shoved Jamie, but he knew he was right. He was a goner. 
You figured that the origami heart was a one-time thing, but to your surprise, you found another one on your desk the following day. This time it was blue. Excited to find out what lies behind the paper, you picked it up hurriedly, already smiling ear to ear before you even read it. 
“In case you ever foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you.” - Virginia Woolf
“What do you have there?” 
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” You jumped at the sound of Keeley’s voice. She was leaning against the doorframe, smirking at your caught reaction. You held the heart between your pointer finger and thumb. You walked over to her, “This is the second one I’ve gotten.” 
Keeley’s eyes widened as she read the words on the back. She squealed, rushing to you to shake you by your shoulders, “Babe, you’ve got a secret admirer! Oh my gosh, this is so cute!” 
Keeley, bless her, was never one to be discreet when it came to all things romantic. Everyone in the locker room turned to look at you and Keeley in the coaches’ office, most with a confused expression on their face. You awkwardly waved before reaching over to pull Keeley into the covered part of the office. Sure, it wasn’t soundproof, but at least they didn’t get to see your embarrassment. 
“Hush,” you tutted, taking the heart back from her. You placed it beside the red one, smiling at how it made your desk look more colorful. “I do not have a secret admirer. Whoever is doing this obviously just has an affinity for good literature and wants to share it with me since I’m a reader.” 
“Right well I have an affinity for good champagne, but you don’t see me popping bottles with you every chance I get,” Keeley rolled her eyes, sitting on your desk. She picked up the origami heart from yesterday, groaning in disbelief, “Seriously, Y/N! How much more obvious can they get? They literally confessed their love for you in this one!” 
“I do not have a secret admirer.” 
“Who has a secret admirer?” 
You, once again, jumped at the sound of Rebecca’s voice. Her eyebrows were raised as she walked into your office, munching on some cookies. They weren’t better than Ted’s but she’d gotten used to having cookies for breakfast that she had to make do. 
“Y/N has a secret admirer, look!” Keeley ran to Rebecca, holding the two origami hearts in her hand. “Look at how cute these are.” 
Rebecca studied them closely, a large smirk on her face when she locked eyes with you, “This is Sam.” 
You blushed at the mention of his name, “It is not Sam because I don’t have a secret admirer. Now if you excuse me, I have work to do.” 
You tried your best to steady yourself as you walked out to the locker room. The coaches had finished their talk and the team was just doing some final things before they headed out to the pitch for training. 
Sam walked over to you, head tilted in question. “What was that about?” 
“Nothing,” you shook your head. “Keeley and Rebecca are just being silly.” 
He nodded, “Hey, I’m almost finished with the most recent book you loaned me.” 
“Are you?” You grinned at him. He mirrored you. “I love that book.” 
“I know,” Sam’s eyes drifted briefly to your lips. Oh, what he would give to feel your lips on his, even just for a second. He couldn’t help but keep staring at you as you went on about your favorite parts. Sam could picture the hundreds of outlined quotes you had in the copy he borrowed, different colored sticky notes and highlighters for different things. He noticed that as you spoke you stayed within the confines of the first part of the book. Sam realized later that it was because you didn’t want to risk spoiling anything for him. His heart warmed at the thought. 
By the time you finished recounting the book, you were red and out of breath. You placed a hand on Sam’s bicep, not missing the way he tensed under your palm. You could feel the outline of his hard muscles under his kit, which made you suck in a breath. “I’ll see you around, Sam. Come find me when you finish the book and I’ll let you talk my ear off about it. Only fair since I just did it to you.” 
He chuckled, watching you disappear into the hallway where Higgins' office was, the opposite way of the pitch where he was headed. His eyes followed your figure until you fully disappeared, which meant that he was not paying attention to where he was going. Right before his body crashed into a pole, Jamie grabbed Sam’s arm and pulled him toward the walkway. Sam, who seemed to awaken from his trance, shyly looked at Jamie. 
Jamie chuckled quietly at Sam. He whipped Sam playfully with a rolled-up towel. He jogged lightly and called out to him with his Mancunian accent, “Come on, lover boy. We got trainin’ to do.” 
After the fifth day of receiving origami hearts, you decided to take it upon yourself to investigate. Without telling anyone of your plans, not even Keeley or Rebecca who were still convinced it was Sam, you arrived at Nelson Road ten minutes after the call time for the team and coaches. 
You entered from the back of the facility, knowing that you had closed your blinds before you left work yesterday. If there was someone in your office, they wouldn’t see you coming in. As you approached the coaches’ office, the outline of someone leaning across your desk caught your eye. 
Bingo. 
Your heart swelled when you realized who it was. You cleared your throat, “Sam?” 
Sam turned around quickly, staring at you like a deer in headlights. He rubbed the back of his neck, “Oh hey, Y/N! You’re here early.” 
“Yeah, I have a few things to get done today,” you lied, walking over to your desk. “What are you doing here?” 
“Oh, right, um,” he held out the book you let him borrow from behind him, “Just wanted to return this. I was just gonna leave it on your desk, but since you’re already here, here you go.” 
“Oh,” you tried to mask your disappointment as you reached over to grab the book from him. Your fingers grazed his, sending shocks throughout your entire body. You looked down on your desk and found an origami heart on your laptop once more. This time it looked like a different type of paper. It was lightly colored and patterned instead of the usual solid color.  You looked at Sam, “Did you see who left this here?” 
Sam, who was already halfway out the door, shrugged, reaching up to rub the back of his neck again, “Nope. It was there when I got here.” 
Sure, you always denied that the secret admirer was Sam whenever Keeley and Rebecca teased you for it, but you would be a liar if you said you didn’t also secretly hope that it was him. You really liked Sam. Ever since you started working for AFC Richmond, Sam has shown you nothing but kindness. He asks you how you’re doing, and genuinely cares about your response. He pops in every week or so to borrow a book from your personal library. Then, he sits in your office after training when he finishes a book to talk about it with you. That was your favorite part of your job. 
The entire day, you felt dejected and defeated. You’re never going to figure out who was leaving you these little hearts. You didn’t join the team on the pitch or leave your office. At the end of the day, you found yourself staring at a blank Word document. A knock on your wall pulled you from your thoughts. You looked up and found Sam, standing in your doorway with two bags of takeaway in his hands. 
“Ready to talk Normal People?” Sam asked, walking in to take his usual spot across your desk. “I brought yummy food.” 
“Ola’s?”
He nodded, unwrapping the boxes of food to lay out on your desk. “Of course.” 
“Yes!” You cheered, reaching for your hand sanitizer. You offered some to Sam, which he gladly accepted. You pumped some into the palm of his hand and watched in concern as he hissed in pain when he rubbed it into his skin. “You okay?” 
He shook his hands to air dry them, a grimace still on his features. “Yeah, just forgot that I had paper cuts.” 
The admission almost flew over your head. Almost. It wasn’t until Sam muttered the word “Shit,” under his breath did you realize what he said. Sam rarely ever cussed, and when he did, it was because of something big. When you looked at him, he was staring at you with a nervous look on his face. 
“Sam…” you trailed off. 
Sam, taking your tone as a rejection, balled up his fist and bit his knuckles in anticipation. When you couldn’t find the right words, Sam interjected, “Okay, Y/N, before you get mad, hear me out please.”
You continued to stare at him in disbelief, unable to accept that it was him. He pushed his chair back, giving himself more space as he began his explanation. “Alright, so… Yes, it’s me. I have been leaving these little hearts on your desk. I’m sorry I lied to you this morning, but I panicked! I didn’t know you were coming in early. Also, I promise that I was going to tell you eventually. I was just nervous because I don’t want to ruin what we have now.” 
“I like being friends with you,” he started to say, then cringed at his own words, “Okay, let me rephrase that–  I enjoy being your friend, but I do want something more. I really like you, Y/N. I have never really been good at expressing my romantic feelings to people so I figured the greats could do it for me so I started making these little origami hearts with my favorite works and quotes on the back. I was getting quite good at it until I switched the paper I was using. Thus, the paper cuts.” 
“Sam, I-”
“Also, I just want to add, you are absolutely under no obligation to go out with me or anything like that. Unless, of course, you want to. Then, that would be great! I would love to go out with you.” He looked at you, like truly looked at you, for the first time since he began his little ramble. He groaned,  “Christ, you didn’t even ask. Wait– I didn’t even ask you to go out yet.” 
“Sam, please,” You laughed, getting up from your chair to stand in front of him. “I was hoping it was you who was leaving these origami hearts.” 
“Really?” he asked, breathless. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. “You are not disappointed that it was me?” 
You backed off a bit as he stood from his seat, walking over to you. You shook your head no, “I was absolutely devastated when you said it wasn’t you who put it on my desk this morning.” 
Before you could say anything else, Sam placed his lips on yours. His hands found the side of your face, holding you at an angle that made it easier for your lips to glide against each other. Your hands lay flat against his chest, feeling the rumbling of his heart easily. As you slipped your tongue into his mouth, a deep groan escaped him, which fueled your actions. After a few moments, you pulled away from him but kept him close. 
Your arms were wrapped around his neck as you looked up at him. “So what do you think? The paper cuts worth it?” 
“Oh, 100%,” Sam easily replied, laughing as he squeezed your hips. He leaned down once again, unable to keep his lips away from yours any longer. 
Needless to say, you didn’t get to talk about Normal People, but neither of you cared.
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lineffability · 6 months
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He grows tomatoes.
Well, he tries to. Crowley does not usually try to grow plants. He decides to grow them, and they obey. It's vendetta ad vengeance at once. But lately, nothing seems to obey his will. It's weak, that will, broken into smithereens just like his heart.
And he can't even take it out on his plants. That's because Crowley has mercy.
So he tries to grow tomatoes.
It's summer (the first summer without him) and he has lodged in an airbnb in the country, and behind an old ramshackle ram-shack he has made himself a little plot of land. Well - it's all God's stupidly green earth, isn't it. But this two by two piece of earth he claims for himself. He could have at least that, right? He looks up at the sky. Frowns.
Let me have at least that.
Aziraphale liked to do things the hard way. (He's still doing that, Crowley supposes, up there. Up there. He's not dead, but it feels like it. He's gone. Gone to Heaven. Not to a better place.) Aziraphale liked to do it properly, the human way, when it pleased him. Which was often, but not always. French. Nom de dieu de merde. Pardon his French.
Pardon his stupid everything.
Crowley inspects his tomato plants. He's trying to grow them the human way. Funny, that. He nurses them like he nurses his heart, and miracles won't do. He's tried.
I think I should not be encouraged to grow tomatoes, he thinks.
Raindrops fall on red and green: the plants and the vines and the tomatoes and his hair. It's August, it shouldn't be raining this much. It's been a shitty August. It's been a shitty year. Thirteen months and two weeks and one day, to be exact. Not like he's keeping count. Why bother?
There's a spot on one of the leaves, and Crowley's heart sinks before it even had the chance to ever rise. It's only one tiny, dark, black spot, but he knows what it means. It means it's too late.
A horrible month. A horrible life. Not the right conditions to thrive. Disease, showing its ugly head, grinning. It's already too late. It's always too late. It would multiply and spread. It has already spread, underneath. Invisible to visible. It won't take long, now.
His soul is a tomato leaf.
Black as grief.
He's tended these seedlings, he's raised them, and planted them, too, and here they are before him tall and proud and still alive, and Crowley knows they are already dying. He can relate.
The sensible thing to do would be to discard it all, be done with them. It's not worth the effort, technically, to keep them alive. But to Crowley it's worth it. It has to be. They are worth it. He is worth it. Stupid stubborn perseverance, stupid stubborn hopeful heart.
He isn't immune to foreshadowing. He looks up again. Angry, this time, bitter. A bit of surrender, too.
The rain drips and drops on his face.
He looks back down, snaps the sickly leaf off with expert fingers. Continues to tend to the plants, as he will until they inevitably die. He plucks a tiny tomato. It's so small, fragile, one of the first of a doomed harvest: but it tastes sweet.
Determined, Crowley continues his labor of love, patient as with all living things.
He is responsible for these vines.
Maybe, despite everything, just maybe, he can nurture his heart back to health. (And maybe, just maybe, he is not human and does not do things the human way. When it pleases him. He's always been a rebel. Just a little miracle, a little bit of life-giving defiance. So small no one notices, not even us.) Crowley smiles.
He grows tomatoes.
.
This ficlet was inspired by Louise Glück's Vespers. May she rest in peace. "In your extended absence, you permit me use of earth, anticipating some return on investment. I must report failure in my assignment, principally regarding the tomato plants." read the full poem here
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sagaubeloved · 5 months
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I don’t know if this is something I READ or something I thought of in passing and just kept forgetting about, but the basic idea is that the things the Creator comes into contact with (mainly literature) is recreated within Teyvat.
But it was more in the sense that even if the Creator hadn’t read the book it would still appear. However, those books that weren’t read would be faded, barely there scribbles that are not discernible and thus not as important to the Creator in comparison to the things they have read.
In that way, I thought how funny it would be that if-and-due to the Creator being a college student there are all these various poems, post-colonial literature, plays, biology, communications, etc just popping into existence and the people of Teyvat believing that the Creator really enjoyed knowledge and the arts.
(Maybe that can cause a long standing argument between Sumeru scholars and those who prefer the arts?)
Would this include the things the Creator writes? Essays and such? Yes, because it is something the Creator interacted with, and no less created themselves!
For me I really like essays, but it also depends on what it is the essay is going to be about, that’s where it can turn from an essay of 10 pages easily or a trudging essay with blurbs. (Just imagine seeing your school essay glorified somewhere as fact and your just there trying not react because you wrote that one thing while sick, and high as a kite at 3 am on a school night; wtf is it doing in that glass casing for all of Teyvat to witness??)
Similarly, if the Creator enjoys reading in general, all those things come into existence even if those things existed by way of technology only, ie. Fanfiction.
So imagine when the Creator descends they are at first confused and then upset because I still have so many things to read! I still have so many things to write! I had a project due in a week! And then stops in bewilderment because —
Wait, isn’t that… isn’t that the novel they had in their To Read list?? Wait isn’t that a story they already read?! Oh no, everyone is witness to your reading habits!!
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