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flunkisflunk · 2 years

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i ended all my long term friendships; two 7 year ones, three 5-6 year ones. a 3 year one too, i guess, because she hasnt been responding. all of my close friends. i got so caught up in my gradual descent back to my worst habits that i didnt even realize how i had been hurting them; it took an audio message from the young woman i had considered to be my soulmate(platonically) for me to fucking wake up from my stupor, after i didnt even text her despite her being fucking bedridden with covid, her telling me shes gonna start prioritizing herself and her own worth,saying that in our little 3 person group, that existed inside another larger friend group, i had always liked the other girl more. at first, i didnt even believe it was that serious. then the next morning, it clicked, with her second message, a reply to my apology, and my insistece that i loved her: “i lovED you, but right now, its hard.” , and i broke, fully and utterly -- for a few hours, before all feeling left me again and there was nothing left at all. i didnt quite know what to do, especially considering the wider implications it had for our very tight-knit friend group, but i wasnt the only one in deep shit; my other closest friend, my oldest friend, the 3rd person, was also being accused of similar negligence and attention hoarding(and some other shit i didnt quite get but idk). she was the reason i texted my other friend in the first place to receive the message i did, after she had called me crying. i just remembered, as im typing this, that i had soothed her on the call, saying that it wasnt that serious, and i would never stop loving her, and i would never leave her. at least one of those things is true.

and then we went on that trip, where most of the friend group couldnt even go, because they had, as mentioned, covid, but my oldest friend was one of the people who came along, along with another girl from the group, who was the kind of mom friend/leader. it was awkward, sure, but we got over it. my oldest friend response to the situation must have been much better than mine bc it seemed to me like she had a chance at actually repairing the rift.

so one of the nights when im alone and the others are out, i call one of the friends that couldnt come bc of covid, who was also the boyfriend of the girl who sent the voice message that started it all, who i was so close with that i had been using his spotify for years, and who, despite being male, i felt very comfortable around -- he really is a sweetheart. one of the first things i asked him is if we were still friends -- “its complicated” -- if we were gonna stay friends “it depends on your behavior towards {my girlfriend} and {other people}”. i ended the call by telling him i loved him. he did not reply.

it was in that moment i realized that i couldnt fix this, that the level of hurt i caused was beyond acceptable. i had been such a terrible friend and person that the person who had swore to always love me, no matter what, no longer did. one of the kindest, most forgiving people i knew no longer knew how to deal with me. everybody was hurt and no one had said anything, just bottling it up inside bc they didnt want to cause a sense, despite how i treated them. and the worst part is: i dont even remember. i dont know what i did. i cant even remember the months leading up to this, manic and consumed as i was. i cant even remember my fuck ups, because i was so self obsessed. gd im so fucking disgusting.

i went on to have the worst mental breakdown of my life. like im talking absolutely fucking mental; i was screaming, crying, yelling -- i yelled at myself in the mirror for 40 minutes straight-- slammed my head against the edge of a door til my skin broke. i couldnt calm down. i was so outta control. and when youre outta control like that, theres only one thing you can do to calm down, and luckily i had something there to use.

so i calmed myself down, went to bed, prayed that i did miss any blood spots, and woke up the next morning to the familiar feeling of nothing. i knew for my oldest friend, her integration into the group would be easiest if i wasnt a wart on her side-- not to mention the hurt i had caused her too over the years. as the trip came to an end, on our last day, as it was just the two of us walking at the beach, i turned to my her and told her that after we returned home, we would probably no longer be friends. she asked me “what? so we’re no longer friends now?” and i replied “no. we still have today.” and we did. and then we returned home.

the next interaction i had was when i cancelled going to a friends birthday(a member of the friend group). the person id always thought of as my soulmate messaged me to tell me to pull myself together, call our friend and tell him i actually can go, and go, to not leave him hanging. i didnt reply. i wasnt going to ruin his party with my drama, and its not like my presence was a make-or-break for the party -- they were going to have fun anyways. later she wrote me that i always do this, leave people hanging like this, and it devolved into a larger argument of me apologizing and explaining my reasons, and her calling me out that my words were empty without action and that they sounded like a preachers sermon. it was the moment i told her i wasnt just ending my friendships with all of them, but also my oldest friend, the one shed accused me of loving more than her, that i think it really clicked in her head that i was serious. that this wasnt a gag, or something i was doing for attention, but i was really going to cut all ties, bloody and messy. it was then she told me something very sweet, she said: “ if this is what you think is best for you, fine. but i hope you hear a little {me}-voice in your head telling you not to do this. take care of yourself, and if you ever need anything, we’ll be here for you.” and that cracked something inside of me to know that even after all of this, her heart was still big enough to extend this kindness to me. shes such a wonderful person, really.

our next interaction, the last actual one really, was at the birthday of the aforementioned mom friend/leader of the group. i spent the first half of the night saying nothing, sitting there like my mouth was wired shut, which was probably very unnerving to everyone else there considering usually i didnt know how to shut the fuck up, drinking a fuckton on my two day empty stomach, and i got wasted. the person who came to me in that moment, as i sat there alone on a bench, was a person who i hadnt accounted for in all my imagined versions of how that night would go; the mom friends boyfriend, who ive known forever and is such a sweet person (i would always joke that they were my second parents) came and talked to me, and i, i completely broke down, sobbing loudly. i was wasted.

i asked to move to the bench that was secluded from the rest of the garden because i felt guilty for disturbing the party, and we did. moments later though my two oldest friends showed up, and so i sent him away so we could talk. i honestly do not remember much. they were sober, i was wasted, trying to have this serious conversation, and when i pointed out how unfair that was, my soulmate correctly stated that i never would have had this conversation sober. i laughed, because she was right. i would have run away. i couldnt stop crying while laughing, almost just screaming with the intensity of it. i realized that the worst part wasnt that we wouldnt be friends anymore, or we wouldnt be seeing each other anymore. the worst part, aside from the obvious fact of how much hurt id caused them, was that they still loved me. all of them. from the depths of their hearts they still cared, and they didnt want these friendships to end, and they were scared for me. thats what got me, thats what completely shattered my heart. i even recall that the conversation had a positive end, like we might be friends again. after getting home i sent the girl who started it all the google doc containing the short story id written about my feelings on all this hoping it might explain my feelings better. aside from that and a few basic messages asking to return possessions, etc.; i have not talked with any of them.

its been a month. i have a new friend group that one of the 3 people i didnt cut out of my life introduced me too, and theyre nice, and easygoing (stoners, yk).

and i think i have to retract my earlier statement because i think what the worst part really is, is that now, despite all these memories and over half a decades worth of love, despite everything; i feel absolutely fine.

#i know people dont read these but just in case:#tw self harm mention #tw disordered eating mention

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dnfshmeeneff · 3 years

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#gee you age every year. did you know that? have a big party another year you selfish brat #on the bright side her ''apology'' contains a whole blocklist of crappy ccs who don't care about covid 😊👍#i lost so much respect today for a lot of people wow #except dream our little covid warrior woof woof #tho i do still disagree a bit about the part where he said it was safe bc of their precautions #tho i feel like most of that and the last bit of his reply was bc his baby was there & has also been on the receiving end of a lot of anger #still. he's the only one who said anything with some gd sense #the ccs who are staying silent have made the best choice tbh #any apology would kinda just be a load of bs. especially if there's ''justification'' for what they did in it #but the cc's tweeting in defense of the party & being sarcastic or making fun of the fans who all have genuine crit & concerns are the Worst #what a mess #what a bunch of privileged selfish pricks tbh #didn't want to post about this again but i can't help it i needed to vent #wtf is wrong with them i just dgi #we are still in the middle of a pandemic #it's literally getting WORSE again bc of the MORE contagious variants than the original strain #you can literally still get sick and spread it even fully vaxxed #why can't they get that? even with every precaution in the world that party was still Stupid #i have multiple friends who are nurses and they risk their lives every day for what?#for people who refuse to give up their ''right'' to party???#i hope gee feels guilty as all hell #she should #(obv she-no one-deserves dts or unwarranted hate. but the criticism is very much deserved and she needs to accept it)#it was her party. i hold her the most accountable. but ofc all the idiots who attended are just as irresponsible #and i'm sick of the cc's who act like it's mindless twitter hate. disgusting that they care so little for human life #i don't think i'll be watching any of the uk streamers for a while. this party and their responses are just so Not It #cw negativity

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jackrrabbit · 4 years

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Sleepless /// Tanjiro x f!reader (18+)

Request: Hi!! I'm not entirely sure on how to request since this is my first time EVER requesting something here on tumblr 😳😳 so im not sure if im doing this right,,,but um,,,,could you do a soft dom! tanjiro kamado x reader nsfw??? (he's aged up of course)

A/N: Y’all I’ve been working on this practically since I made this gd blog…idk why it took so long since I LOVE the concept. Reader is a traumatized bby who just needs her kitty licked ✊😔 and honestly same

Tags/warnings: soft dom, daddy vibes but without the ‘daddy’ (onii-chan vibes?), brief mentions of past demon violence & PTSD, fluff?, historical inaccuracies probably, reader is implied to be inexperienced, mild overstimulation, lowkey yandere lowkey romantic who knows, all characters are adults

It starts out with little things. Harmless things. Tanjiro sees you barely ate anything at dinner, and later that night he comes to your bedroom with a plate of food for you. “You should eat,” he tells you.

“I’m not hungry,” you say, almost a little petulantly. The food looks good and you know he’s trying to be nice, but you’re not a child. You can take care of yourself, and even when you can’t it’s not his job to do it for you.

“Eat,” he says again softly. It’s not a command. It’s like he already knows you’re going to eat, and he’s just patiently waiting for you to give in.

You pick up the chopsticks and eat the food he prepared for you. All of it. Tanjiro sits there and watches and then when you’re done, he smiles at you and pats your head and takes the plate away. You think it’s weird, but the next morning you don’t question it. He’s a big brother to everyone—doesn’t it make sense that he would want to make sure you’re eating enough?

He probably can’t help it.

You decide you’re going to let it slide, until a few days later after breakfast with him and the others when Tanjiro pulls you aside and holds your face in his hands and tells you you’re looking a little tired lately—are you getting enough sleep?

The truth is that you aren’t. You want to deny it, but somehow you have a hard time lying to him. “I used to sleep with my siblings in our bed, so it’s hard to fall asleep since…” since the demon who made you an orphan murdered them. “And, you know. Nightmares.”

Tanjiro understands. Of course he understands! He used to have five younger siblings, did you know that? Now Nezuko has her own room and the rest…well, you’ve heard the story. It’s hard to fall asleep when you’re by yourself, isn’t it? He’s been there.

“How many hours are you sleeping every night? On average?”

You’re trying too hard to ignore the brush of his callused fingertips over your cheekbones, so you tell him the truth without meaning to. “Um, like four hours? On a good day?”

His eyes go wide and suddenly both of his hands are wrapped around one of yours and squeezing, maybe a little too tight. “Is that the truth, (Y/N)? Four hours is too little. Sleep deprivation isn’t good for you.”

“I know, but—”

“No. The next time you have trouble getting to sleep, I want you to come to my room.” You open your mouth to mount a denial, but he frowns and cuts you off. “Promise me. Okay? It’s really bad for your health, so promise.”

And once again, you say yes even though you don’t want to.

It’s fine. It’ll be fine, you think. You’ll just pretend you’re sleeping better. Tonight you’ll lay in bed with your eyes open and stare at the ceiling and try to listen to your own breathing, in and out and in and out, and hope it drowns out the memories that stick fast in your head whenever you’re by yourself. Then when you’ve been laying in the dark for a few hours, you’ll finally fall asleep and all your nightmares will play out in technicolor and you’ll do your best to be quiet so you don’t wake anyone else up and in the morning you’ll splash cold water on your face to make your eyes less puffy and pinch your cheeks to get some color in them and it’ll be fine.

You can take care of yourself. You have to, since everyone else is gone. So you’re not sure why, when the sun goes down and you’re looking into the face of another sleepless night, you find yourself knocking on the door of Tanjiro’s bedroom.

Maybe it’s just that he made you promise. You hate breaking your promises.

He lets you in, the half-asleep affect mixing with the same caring, serene look as always (and it’s a little insulting that he’s not surprised at all). Tanjiro sits on the bed first and you can’t help staring at him in the flickering orange lamplight. He’s more muscular than you remembered, and taller than when you first met. He can play the role of a big brother all he likes, but he’s still an adult. A man. And he’s not family.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” you say, fidgeting with the sleeve of your shirt.

“It’s okay, (Y/N),” Tanjiro murmurs as he lies down, his voice still scratchy with sleep. Somehow it relaxes you. He just has that way about him—when he says it’s okay, it feels okay.

Tanjiro pats the spot on the bed next to him. It looks really warm, and there’s a winter chill in the air even though it’s only September. It’s a bed made for one person, but Tanjiro—ever considerate—has moved over to one side to make space for you.

“Come on. Come sleep,” he instructs in that soft, non-demanding way of his. So you sit down on the edge of the bed and (carefully, carefully, like you’re making your way into a hot bath) fold your legs and pull the covers over you so you’re lying next to him. The bed is even warmer than you thought it’d be. Tanjiro radiates heat—he’s so warm, you think, how fitting—and then before you know it you’re drifting into the first dreamless sleep you’ve been afforded in a very long time.

That first night, you sleep with a good six inches of space between the two of you. You don’t want to touch him, don’t want to cross that invisible boundary—at first. But it doesn��t matter, because every time you wake up next to him, you’re curled up to his side like a puppy seeking warmth. It’s not like he minds. Judging from the gentle smile on his face when he wakes you up in the morning (and tells you that you should go back to your room before anyone notices you’re not there) he likes it.

Never again, you think. No way. But you haven’t had a good night’s sleep in so long, and it’s nice to be well-rested for once, and the next evening you only lie in your bed for fifteen minutes before you’re knocking on Tanjiro’s door again, silently asking if you can take advantage of his kind nature for just one more night.

He says yes. Of course he does. So you sleep next to Tanjiro again, you keep half a foot of space between you again, and you wake up hugging him. Again. And then you do it the next night, and the next night, sleeping beside Tanjiro over and over until you no longer bother trying to leave room between your body and his.

Is this okay? you wonder sometime around the two-week mark. It’s the longest you’ve gone without having nightmares since the demon came. Sometimes you think you’re betraying your loved ones by trying not to think about their deaths; letting yourself off easy while they suffered. You tell this to Tanjiro while the two of you are lying back to back under his blanket, quietly enough that (you hope) if he’s already sleeping you won’t wake him.

He hears you, and he turns around and lays his arm around your waist. “Don’t be silly…of course they wouldn’t want you to be unhappy.”

“But how do you know?”

“I know.” Tanjiro’s voice is half muffled by your hair, but it’s steady. “You believe me, don’t you.”

You do.

“Don’t think about that anymore.” His hold on your waist gets a little bit tighter, arms a little bit less forgiving.

“I won’t,” you say, hoping that the promise will be enough. The two of you fall asleep like that, and when you wake up in the morning it’s the first time ever that you haven’t moved in the night.

As if it wasn’t enough to be spending every night together, at some point you start to dream about him too. Usually it’ll just be a flash or a snippet that you barely remember once you wake—the reassuring tone of his voice, a smell like a campfire, or a few notes of laughter—but tonight you’re watching him train in the courtyard. In the dream, he moves through his forms with inhuman grace, position to position to position, balanced with perfect agility like he’s a dancer and not a swordsman. With how beautiful it is, you can almost forget the raw power behind his movement, the strength that has subjugated more demons than you care to know.

He pauses to stretch, rolling his shoulders back, and you notice that he’s shirtless (which is how you know it’s a dream). Tanjiro’s arms flex as he raises the blade into position, and the sun shimmers over the thin sheen of sweat on his chest. He looks ethereal like this, and as you sit on the porch and watch him, you feel heat stir inside of you that has nothing to do with the sunlight.

Tanjiro, you call out softly. He looks around to you, deep red eyes resting on yours, and whips the blade down to replace it in its sheath.

Can I come closer? The grass is cool and wet under your bare feet as you pad lightly into the courtyard toward him. You can taste the humid summer air in your mouth. Fingers tangle themselves in your hair, tilting your head up to meet his.

Tanjiro…

“(Y/N)?”

Tanjiro’s voice cuts through the dream and you scrunch your eyes shut, reluctant to leave the dream world where he wants to touch you, not out of pity or because he thinks it’s his duty to take care of you but because he wants to. But it’s too late—his hand is on your shoulder, gently shaking you out of your slumber. “(Y/N)? You said my name.”

“Sorry, I…sorry.”

“What were you dreaming about?”

He kissed you, in your dream. Now that you’re looking at the real version, your cheeks feel warm…and so does that same spot below your belly. Suddenly the room feels uncomfortably hot, and you wish you weren’t trapped under the covers with Tanjiro. You shift your legs to try and get a little more air between the two of you, but the heat persists.

“I think I should go back to my room.” You must be sweating—you feel damp for some reason. He’s too close.

Tanjiro ignores you. “Can you tell me what you were dreaming about?”

“I—you,” you admit. “You were training.”

“And?”

“And…I don’t know. It’s kind of warm in here, isn’t it? I think I’ll just…” You push the cover aside and sit up, but before you can get yourself off the bed, Tanjiro is tugging you back down, holding to the mattress so he can hover over you in that way he likes.

“Tell me,” he says to you, voice as firm as it is gentle. Sleep-mussed locks of red hair flop over his forehead but his face is serious, and you can’t look away.

“You kissed me,” you whisper.

That takes him by surprise. You can tell by the way his eyes widen, but his hold on you doesn’t ease up. You want to die. Why did you say that? He’ll think you’re disgusting, sleeping next to him in his bed and having perverted dreams about him. Why couldn’t you have just lied? Why can’t you ever lie to him?

“I’m going back to my bedroom.” You try to project more confidence than you actually feel, but there’s no use. Tanjiro doesn’t seem like he’s going to let you get away from him any time soon.

He’s straddling your body carefully, one elbow folded next to your head while his other hand comes up to stroke your cheek. “Your face is all red.”

“You’re…you’re too close.”

“I don’t think I’m close enough. You have goosebumps, look...” Tanjiro folds up the sleeve of your sleep shirt, exposing your arms to view. “…here…and here, too…”

His hands are wandering further down to the hem of the shirt, pushing it up so slowly and gently that you’re not even sure it’s happening until you feel him stroking over your belly. It’s true, you do have goosebumps. It feels like every hair on your body is standing on end. “Tanjiro…?”

“I guess you haven’t been able to touch yourself, since we’ve been sleeping together. That kind of repression is bad for your health. Even I’ve been a little…frustrated.”

Your mind has to work overtime to understand what he’s telling you as he strokes over your stomach and onto the sensitive skin of your sides, and then up to the flesh covering your ribs. His thumb teases over the underside of one of your breasts for a second, but the shock must have shown on your face because he retreats immediately.

“I’m not. I’m not frustrated,” you say, knowing he won’t believe you.

Tanjiro shakes his head in dismissal. “I don’t think that’s true, (Y/N).”

What are you supposed to say? Of course it’s not true. But admitting that you’ve been feeling heated around him lately would ruin everything, so refuse to say it. “I…I don’t know what to say…”

“You don’t have to say it. Can I prove it to you?”

What does he mean? Your head jerks up and down in acquiescence. You barely have to wait a moment before Tanjiro’s hands are slipping down your sides to the waistband of your pants and tugging them down over your hips. A tap on your hipbones prompts you to lift your hips and let him remove the clothing, not that you know why you’re complying so blindly.

Just like you always do.

Is he still trying to take care of you? Putting himself in a caretaker’s role because he thinks you need him? This is going a little far, too far maybe, but you can’t deny you want this. The heat of his body is no longer stifling—instead, it feels like it’s pulling you into him.

When your pants are out of the way, Tanjiro reaches into your underwear and dabs against your slit. It’s not until you feel his finger sliding between the puffy lips of your cunt that you realize how wet you are…and of course he can feel it too. Your knees jerk together to try and push him away from you but he’s unfazed, his touch steadily becoming more intrusive as he seeks out the syrupy dampness from your pussy.

“What am I feeling right now? I want you to tell me.”

“You’re—you’re touching me?” you gasp out.

“And you’re all wet. You can’t tell me you haven’t been frustrated when you’re getting this wet with just my fingers.” At this, you feel him prodding deeper into your pussy and stretching you open.

“Nn—okay, fine! Fine!” The words come out of you in a rapid burst, and you finally muster up the resolve to push Tanjiro away from you by his shoulders. “I’ll go back to my room and deal with it, okay? You don’t have to do it for me.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I can trust you to take care of this problem by yourself. You’ve been lying to me about your needs.”

You wish he wasn’t able to be so calm while you feel like your entire face is on fire. He pulls his hand out of your panties and backs up on the bed so his torso is framed between your legs. “Can you let me help you, (Y/N)? Let me take care of you.”

You lick your lips without realizing you’re doing it, and Tanjiro’s eyes follow the motion. You can barely comprehend what he’s asking. You want it. You want his hands on you; you want to be taken care of in the way he’s offering. But whether or not you can actually ask for it is another story. “Tanjiro…”

“You need this. I know you do.” He skims his palm over your bare thigh in a soothing motion that, oddly enough, puts your barbed nerves a fraction at ease. “I want you to be honest with me about what you need.”

It’s too much. The warmth of his body so tantalizingly close to yours, his shadowed eyes searching yours for a response you don’t know how to give him…and the sticky mess in your panties. Tanjiro’s giving you a free pass to get something you’ve wanted for longer than you can comfortably admit to yourself, and you’re not sure you could deny him if you tried. What can you tell him except the truth? “I want you. I need you.”

“Good girl. See how good it feels to be honest?” Tanjiro bows down and mouths over your pussy through the wet spot on your panties.

It’s not the honesty that feels good, you think as his tongue pads at you through the fabric.

Too impatient to wait another second to taste you, Tanjiro nudges your rear up and slides your panties down your legs. As soon as you kick the undergarment off your feet, he’s pulling your thighs back apart and curling his thickly-muscled arms around them to hold you securely as his head dips back down to your bare pussy. He wastes no time in laving his tongue over your slit and up to the button at the top.

The sensation of this hot, wet muscle pressing up against your most private area is…weird, to say the least. You’ve never felt anything like this—to be honest, you don’t even know exactly what Tanjiro’s doing. When you think about what’s actually happening on this bed—your (friend? partner? bedmate? crush?) ally has his mouth angled between your legs and is licking your pussy—you think you might spontaneously combust. You’ve never felt anything like this before, and however strange the feeling is, you’re more than aware of your hips grinding up toward Tanjiro just so you can feel more of it.

“Here, let me help…” Tanjiro effortlessly lifts you to place a pillow under your lower back, and then moves back down to continue his relentless licking, this time at a new angle that allows him full access to every millimeter of your raw cunt. He’s eating you out like your pussy is the last meal he’ll ever have.

And how can he help it? You taste so good, so sweet on his lips and over his tongue. You must have been in so much pain lying next to him every night with your desire leaking out between your thighs. Just thinking about is making heat rise low in his groin, and his grip on you is getting tighter by the second. How awful that you tried to keep this to yourself…it was remiss of him not to realize before tonight that you needed him so badly.

But it’s going to be alright, because judging from the muffled noises you’re making, every swipe of his tongue licking up your slit is more than making it up to you.

You probably don’t realize how much your hips are wiggling under his minstrations. He barely has to exert any effort to keep you still, but the way you keep trying you push yourself closer to him is enticing, not to mention the way you’re trying (and failing) to keep your voice down through your moans.

“Tanjiro…T-Tanjiro,” you whimper. It’s like you can’t think of anything except for his name. All of your attention is focused on the pressure building up deep in your core, each stroke of his tongue over your clit taking you higher and higher. You feel tense…wound up so tightly that you have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from letting the shallow puffs of air turn into full-fledged cries.

Just like that, please, please… You think the words rather than saying them, even though you want to. It’s too humiliating to be begging Tanjiro for more while he’s already giving you more than you deserve, but it’s almost like he heard you anyway, because his tongue writhes down across your clit again and your back arches up off the bedspread.

Your thighs twitch around his head, trying involuntarily to hold him down. He just chuckles and keeps you firmly in place, and his voice hums out over your pussy making feel even more wild. “Please, I’m—I’m cumming…” Your voice trails off and you crush the heels of your palms into your face to cover up your expression while the wave of pleasure hits you so hard you think you might faint.

Tanjiro doesn’t stop. You’re crying out in whimpers so high-pitched he can barely hear them, but he doesn’t stop. The delicate muscles in your pussy are throbbing under his tongue, but he doesn’t stop licking until you’re almost crying, panting out “it’s too much it’s too much, please Tanjiro” and pushing his head away with your hand.

When he finally pulls away, his hair is tangled and disarrayed from where you’ve been running your hands through it, and his mouth and jaw are shining wet. Tanjiro licks his lips and if you didn’t feel shaky before…you do now.

It takes a second for the power of thought to return to you, but when it does you just sigh weakly and flop back down onto the bed. Tanjiro’s next to you before you hit the pillow, and he grips your jaw with one hand to angle your head to meet his, and—

He’s kissing you. He’s actually kissing you. His lips are surprisingly soft over yours, but as usual there’s an unnecessary degree of pressure attached to the contact that has you sinking deeper into your blankets under his force. You can detect the lush, slightly bitter taste of your arousal coating the inside of his mouth as his tongue (skillful as ever) traces over yours. Tanjiro is kissing you, and it’s a hundred times better than any dream you could come up with on your own, so you kiss back.

It takes him a long moment to break the kiss, long enough that your lungs are pleading for air by the end of it. When his lips leave yours, a thin trail of saliva connects the two of you until it breaks and drips down your chin.

“Tanjiro…” You search for the right words, but what are you supposed to say at a time like this? “I…what did we just do?”

“Shh, don’t worry.” Tanjiro leans in again, this time just to press a chaste kiss to your forehead. “I’m going to take good care of you, okay?”

You take a moment and then duck your head into a nod. It doesn’t make any sense—how does he do that?—but once he says it’s okay it always is.

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ev-pierce-writes · 3 years

Text

Quantum Entanglement

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Words: 6.4k (oops)

Rating: 18+ (get outta here ya children)

Summary: Steve Rogers decides to disappear, take some time for himself in the solitude of a small town where he meets you.

Warnings: p in v. oral fem receiving. size kink (reader is much smaller than Steve in more ways than one). soft (very very soft) fem dom.

AN: This is stupid soft. Just simping all over the gd place. I'm so sorry but my baby Steve deserves nothing but the purest, sweetest form of love and that's what he's getting, though I imagine he likes to be ordered around. Took me way too long to feel good about this.

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There had been the snap. And then the resurrection. Steve had lost everyone he loved and then had most of them returned, and it felt good to go back to normal, in some ways. In other ways, it was stifling.

As the world reeled and tried to figure out how to "be normal" in a time that was anything but, normalcy felt forced, rushed, exaggerated. He wanted to be in this world, of course. The 1940s were no longer his home, and Steve had everything he wanted here. But he didn't feel complete. A piece was always missing, something from a past life, that he couldn't quite name but knew he had to find.

So he disappeared. Went undercover as some might call it. Bucky knew, of course, and Sam on some level. But to the rest of the world, he had slipped quietly back into the past to live the rest of his life. In reality, he'd slipped into Herrington, Massachusetts, a small coastal town where he was invisible to the world.

He'd found a little house, a cottage on the beach, and settled in completely. He didn't need a job, the government was more than willing to pay him a severance check of some sort, but he took one anyway, stocking the local grocery store and delivering groceries to the elderly when they ordered. It was just antiquated enough to remind him of a faraway time, of the past, but didn't force him to give up his wifi and color television. That was something he'd come to love.

And that was where he met you. You, the petite spitfire with a bone to pick with the entire world. Fierce, loyal, and slightly terrifying when double-crossed. The first time he met you, you had come out of your great-aunt's house shaking a fist over the groceries.

"I told Mr. Pierce," you were yelling, "not to skimp me on the meat." Mr. Pierce was the grocery store owner. And the meat in question was a roast, for what purpose, Steve wasn't sure, but one that apparently did not satisfy your desires.

You hadn't been the one to answer the door, that was your great-aunt Agnes, a kind, leather-faced woman who liked to tip Steve a healthy amount for "carrying all those heavy groceries for a silly old lady like me."

"It's no problem ma'am," he'd replied and stepped back toward his motorcycle, recently decked out with a basket on the back to transport deliveries. Then you'd chased him down the road until he noticed you and stopped, shouting all the way.

"When you see him," you said, your finger wagging in his face, puffing and out of breath from your yelling and running, "tell the bastard that's the last time he gets away with making me pay for his shitty cuts of meat."

Steve didn't really know what to say, but then your face softened, your voice calmed, and you took a deep breath. Maybe the panicked look on his face had made you have a change of heart. "I apologize for yelling at you, I know you're just the messenger. But that slimy son-of-a-bitch is going to get what's coming for him someday."

"I'll let him know," Steve replied with half a smile on his face.

"You aren't from around here are you?" you had asked, a sudden look of curiosity in your bright eyes.

Steve nodded. "Just moved here."

"Look, I'm really sorry." You stuck out your hand and introduced yourself, and Steve had found that hand to be surprisingly supple and calloused for its tiny size. "Let me make it up to you. Aunt Agnes seems to like you. We're having a potluck tonight, her place. Why don't you come by and meet the neighbors? I'm sure they'd love a new face, especially one as handsome and friendly as yours. Maybe make some friends, even."

You were being surprisingly friendly and sincere, and Steve had no choice but to accept the invitation.

So that's how he ended up in an old lady's backyard, handing off a bowl of his mother's jello salad (it was a potluck after all), and accepting a beer from a man who looked similar enough to be your brother (a cousin, it turned out). You didn't even notice his arrival, flying about, getting everything set up, taking part in the appropriate amount of small talk. Earlier, when you'd chased Steve down the road, your hair had been flung all about your head, wisps of it sticking out from all directions and looking positively a mess. You'd been wearing jeans with mud on the knees and a t-shirt that had more holes than necessary for your arms and head. Now, your hair was pinned back and tamed and you floated about in a soft blue sundress, revealing a delicate plane of skin across your shoulders and tan arms and legs.

The calloused hands and muddy jeans made sense now as well. The backyard of Aunt Agnes' house was primarily a garden, not only beautiful rose bushes and creeping wisteria but rows and rows of fruits and vegetables, cucumbers, tomatoes, watermelon, strawberries. The work was obviously the product of a talented gardener.

Aunt Agnes was the one to welcome him in, having noticed Steve before you did and taking his arm. She began to talk, of you and the neighborhood and her many, many family members. She introduced them one by one, though most of the names he immediately forgot. But it was a blessing to not be recognized and he relished the feeling. Sure, he'd grown out his beard and his hair was a bit longer than the standard military high and tight, and he wore a flannel with the sleeves rolled up instead of red, white, and blue spangles, but it still amazed him that he could pass through the world like this.

Eventually, the conversations became too much, and Steve excused himself to the kitchen to find a drink while he waited for the food to be ready. Really he just wanted some silence, a relief from society. But you'd beat him there, and, ever the busy bee, were scrambling to fill a cooler with more ice.

"Steve!" you exclaimed when you saw him, pleasant surprise plastered across your face. "I'm so glad you came."

You reached out and gave him a hug that took Steve so much by surprise he almost forgot to return it. It was shockingly warm, your arms around his neck, and though he had to stoop down to your level, he wrapped his arms around your waist anyways.

"I hope they didn't overwhelm you out there. My family can be a lot."

"No, not at all. Just needed some quiet. I'll let you get back to work."

"I could actually use your help if you don't mind."

You directed him into the front room toward a stack of boxes, cases of drinks he assumed. When Steve returned to the kitchen, all four boxes piled in his arms, you nearly dropped the glasses in your hands in shock. You recovered quickly, trying to remain polite despite your poorly hidden astonishment, but Steve could already tell you were trying to compute how he had managed to carry over a hundred pounds of drinks in one go.

"You can, um, put them on the counter I guess," you managed to stutter out. Your sudden flustered state was amusing, and Steve noticed he liked the way you seemed almost embarrassed, cheeks flushed pink, though he had no idea why you should feel that way.

But then you picked back up with your normal bubbly chatter, and Steve found himself lingering longer and longer in the kitchen with you until he realized neither of you were doing anything but talking, the work abandoned in lieu of discussions about the town, your stall at the farmers market, and eventually, very naturally, the passing of your parents. The slip into deep conversation was easy, surprisingly easy, easier than it had ever been with anyone else, even though Steve felt himself having to lie a bit about his past. Sure, he could admit to being from Brooklyn and having no family and his stint in the military, but that was about the extent of it. He found himself wanting to tell you more but refraining.

When your cousin called that food was ready from the backyard, the jolt back to reality was abrupt and almost unwelcome, until you smiled and allowed him to put a hand on your back, pulling Steve out to enjoy some food.

As night fell, lights twinkled on in the backyard, and the summer heat reduced to a light thrum as the breeze from the ocean swept through the town. Fireflies glowed in the darkness of the low trees behind the house and you seemed to glow as well, good food and friendly conversation lighting your face up with joy. You caught Steve's eye several times during the night, noticing him watching you from across the garden, but he didn't care. He liked that his attention made you smile.

Finally, the party began to dwindle, as parents with young kids trickled out, followed by the older folks, heading off to bed. Soon, even Aunt Agnes turned in and only the cousins close to you in age remained. They pulled out the stronger bottles of alcohol, sitting in plastic chairs and passing shots around the barbeque that still glowed hot with coals. Steve accepted every pass of vodka that came his way, despite knowing it wouldn't get him even remotely drunk. But the camaraderie of the moment helped ease a bit of that gaping hole in his soul so he clung to it as best he could. And you were sitting next to him, insisting he take a sip, and again he couldn't turn you down.

"And then Jack nearly sunk the boat in the bay," you were saying, telling the story of one of your cousin's finer moments. "Your dad almost killed us."

"Oh you want to bring that up?" he teased. "How about the time you snuck out and Aunt Agnes caught you making out with Michael on the beach."

You blushed bright red at the reminder but protested that was years ago. Then another cousin brought up his own late-night escapades and you devolved into a fit of giggles, leaning so far out of your chair that Steve had to catch you before you slipped right to the ground. Your hand gripped his to recover but, to his surprise, you never removed it, even as you righted yourself in your seat. Your hand just remained in his, your small fingers wrapped in his large ones, as you turned to pester him into telling a story.

"What about you Steve? Tell us an embarrassing story."

He looked around at the group and they leaned in expectantly, curious to know more about the stranger who was quickly becoming a friend. Steve didn't know what to say, most of his stories involving things he wasn't yet ready to reveal about himself. So he picked one from long ago.

"I once picked a fight with a guy at a bar. He was a bit of a Nazi. Got my ass kicked. Fortunately, I had a friend to back me up or he definitely would have killed me."

Everyone looked shocked. "But you're so strong," someone spoke up. "Look at you. How could anyone beat you in a fight?"

Steve shrugged, not wanting to admit to it being a pre-serum story. "Guess I'm a bit of a pacifist."

He turned to you to gauge your reaction. Your eyes were wide, sparkling with mischief and curiosity and a hint of disbelief. For a moment Steve thought you had figured it out, figured out who he was, but then you started giggling again and the only thing keeping you in your seat was his hand in yours.

"That's not embarrassing Steve, that's just the most fucking noble thing I've ever heard. Making us all look bad."

Your teasing words made his heart flutter in his chest and he felt like he could get used to this crowd.

Eventually, the coals of the barbeque started to wink out, and the cousins excused themselves for the night, heading home on foot to the various houses they had come from. It seemed no one lived too far apart in this town. Suddenly, the backyard was quiet.

"Can I give you a hand cleaning up?" Steve asked, not wanting to leave you with the job that looked a bit overwhelming to him.

You looked around and shrugged, a little tipsy but fully aware that it was a big mess. "I'll probably just take care of it in the morning. Can you just help me get the dishes inside?"

Steve obediently gathered up plates and cups, filling the dishwasher in several trips. Finally, the last were inside and you stood in the kitchen filling the sink to wash the pots and pans while Steve tried awkwardly to find a way to say goodbye.

"Um, thank you," he said at last, "for welcoming me into your community. It means a lot. I'll, uh, see you later I guess. Have a good night."

You stopped your scrubbing to look up at him, bubbles up to your elbows, your face flushed from the warm night air and the alcohol.

"Steve?"

"Yeah?"

You paused, hesitant, eyes searching his face for confirmation of a mutual feeling. "Do you ever feel like you were meant to meet someone? For a reason?"

The question hit him like a ton of bricks, and he realized that this night had made him feel exactly that way, that somehow he was meant to end up here and meet you, of all people. Why else had there been an instant connection unless this was just the way you were with everyone?

But your question made him think otherwise. You had to be special. Steve, in that moment, could do nothing but nod in affirmation. And then, like you had both had the same thought at the same moment, you were meeting him halfway, rising on your tiptoes, wrapping your arms around his neck, and kissing him. Really, truly, kissing him.

It was like that missing piece had found itself. You slotted your soul into his and Steve was pressing you to his chest, wrapping his arms around you, and lifting you so he didn't have to bend down to reach you. Your wet hands tangled into his slightly too long hair, pulling him impossibly closer, tasting one another's tongues.

And that was the start of it, of late-night motorcycle rides down the causeway, of Saturdays spent on the beach that tapered into drinks with friends, of dinners filled with your chatter and smiles and laughter, and Steve couldn't believe how lucky he was. He was not used to this feeling, of building friendship and companionship and perhaps even love. And he certainly wasn't used to the intense desire to reach out and pinch your ass every time you showed up at his house wearing those gardening jeans, high-waisted and tight and so goddamn cute.

But he never did, was never sure how you'd react. You kissed him, a lot in fact, every morning that he came over and every night that he dropped you off at home. And you never shied away from telling him how handsome he was, how much you liked his hands and his arms and his short beard, how sweet he was and kind and soft and gentle. So many words, words that made his head spin and his world wobble and sway. But it never came to be more than that, never late at night when he was thinking of you most. And oh lord, did he think about you, how your small frame might fit against his in bed while you spooned and slept, or how tight you'd be if he fucked you until the sun rose. He didn't particularly like sleeping in bed, it was too soft for his taste and he tended to take the couch or even the floor most nights, but he would sleep in bed for you if you would just tell him that was what you wanted.

It was like you were waiting for the right moment. And apparently, that moment was July 4th, during the annual celebration. Steve had whispered to you that it was consequently also his birthday, and had begged you to keep that a secret, but it seemed you had simply forgotten the fact entirely. The day passed without mention that Steve was turning 39 (105 if he'd been really counting) and you kissed him as the fireworks exploded over the ocean, sitting in the sand, hands tangled together. He thought the two of you would sit through the show, but then you were standing and pulling him to his feet as well and slipping away as everyone else's faces were turned to the sky.

At your house, you pulled a small cake from the fridge, just big enough to split between two people, and lit a couple of candles as you sat next to him at the kitchen table. Of course, you hadn't forgotten.

"Make a wish," you said with a happy smile. So he did, hoping this summer would never end. "What did you wish for?"

"Can't tell you, otherwise it won't come true," he replied. But then you pouted and he lost all resolve. "How about I show you instead?"

The look on your face said it all, shock mixed with intrigue and the mischief he had noticed that first night almost a week ago. So he reached down and tugged your chair closer, forcing you to face him with your knees between his. And then he leaned over and kissed you, taking your small cheeks in his large palms, putting all the power of his suppressed feelings behind it. He hoped you understood that he wanted more than to just kiss you, he wanted to occupy space inside you, fill you, complete you. Steve could feel your smile against his lips.

You pulled away. "Did you wish that I was dessert instead of the cake?

"I might have. Should we make my wish come true?"

Again you smiled, bright and guiding like a lighthouse torch, and something in your demeanor changed. Instantly, you were relenting to his touch, letting him pull you further into his lap, straddling his waist and settling into him like that was where you were meant to be. The quiet house, probably as old as him in this New England town, creaked in the silence of the night, only occasionally disturbed by the bang of a firework. But it all faded away with you in his arms.

You fit perfectly, just as Steve had hoped.

"You gonna be gentle with me, big man?" you whispered, that same brilliant smile on your face, wiggling as close to him as possible, the fingers of one hand tangled into the hair at the nape of his neck, the others tracing down the point of his sharp nose and pressing against his soft lips. "You gonna fuck me good? Be a good boy?"

Oh, Christ. Steve nearly lost his mind with your hips so tight against his, lost it at your words that made his heart race and color rise to his cheeks. He could be good. Really damn good. You seemed to know something about him that Steve didn't even know about himself, of how much he liked your praise, your commanding tone. If there was anything he was good at, it was taking orders.

"You just keep telling me what to do and I'm all yours," he mumbled against your fingers, the thump of his heart beating in time with yours somewhere deep in your chest, echoes of one another in the silence of the house. Your hand came to grip his chin, pushing another kiss against his mouth, a kiss with lips parted in a sigh, the mingled palate of you and him, like a glass of wine on the beach and chocolate melted on the tongue, sweeping over taste buds and breathed into starved lungs.

"Mm, you taste so good. Like you were created just for me, don't you think?" you asked.

"Built from the best material, just for you." Built to love you, he wanted to say. Steve shut up instead.

You hummed with pleasure and the hand on his chin gripped a little harder, a little more suggestively. He opened his mouth obediently as you slipped your thumb between his lips, and he let you press it against the soft muscle of his tongue. You wanted him to taste you, so he did, his teeth biting gently down on the pad of your finger, another pleasant hum running down your body and straight to his groin.

He waited for your instruction.

"Undress me."

He complied, obediently. Steve's large hands hiked your sundress up around your waist, revealing the softness of your hips. His fingers smoothed up the length of your thighs, kneading at the flesh of your ass that he had so longed to touch. Your reaction was music to his ears, a soft moan leaving your lips and breathed against his, and Steve closed his eyes, arousal spreading through his body at the thought that he was making you react this way. His length hardened, tight in his pants, pressed against the thin layer of fabric that covered the heat of your core. The thought that he might not fit flickered through his mind but it dissipated at the feeling of your fingers pressing into the rough stubble of his jawline.

Steve's hands continued to travel further up your body, taking time to release the zipper of your dress down the length of your spine, and you answered his quiet, "can I?" by pulling slightly away and lifting your arms over your head. The dress landed somewhere in the kitchen and Steve dragged you close again, arms wrapped around your back to encompass you completely, his lips finding purchase against the skin of your neck.

"Look at you, so perfect," Steve mumbled, face pressed into your hair. If he had looked up he would have seen you blush, but he was too preoccupied letting his senses discover every piece of you he could touch, smell, or taste. He wanted to envelop you, inch by inch, roaming and discovering and satiating his curiosity, but you dragged his attention back to your face.

"Hey, eyes up here," you said, pulling his face toward yours and locking gazes. The intensity of your eye contact was stunning, but there was something else behind those eyes, something other than intense attraction and unsatisfied arousal. Was it doubt? Insecurity? The reason why you kissed him for so many nights and never asked for more? You were searching for something, and it came in the form of a question. "You won't leave me after this, right?"

There it was, the bit of insecurity, a fear of loss, of transience, of lacking control. Someone had hurt you before. Maybe that's why you approached everything in life with such ferocity and sincerity. But Steve would never hurt you like that, never let you feel that way again. He hoped you could see it in his eyes the way he felt about you, but words would be more reassurance. "I'm yours tonight. And tomorrow. And the day and week and month and year after that, if you'll have me that long. Whatever it is you need, I'll give it to you."

You blinked and then smiled and pressed another quick kiss to his lips before murmuring, "touch me" against them. So he did, trailing his hands over every sliver of skin before him. He felt the goosebumps rising in their wake, the downy hair on your legs and arms, the heat of your core against him, grinding almost imperceptibly to find some kind of friction, any friction. He wanted to touch you so desperately, but he got the sense that you needed to take the lead, that it would give the control you felt you lacked. So he slid a hand down the plane of your stomach and stopped just shy of dipping into your panties, waiting for your word. But you were no longer interested in playing games. Your hand found his and pulled him lower, using his fingers to press into the seem of your cunt, and he found you slick and warm with desire.

You urged him forward. "Rub my clit, baby. Slowly. Gently."

Slowly and gently. That he could do. His fingers crept absentmindedly closer to the swollen bundle of nerves and when he landed there, touch soft and circling, you jerked against him, your whole body moving with the force of anticipation and a cry leaving your lips. And though it seemed to burn, seemed to be torture for yourself, you demanded he do it again. Your forehead leaned against his, eyes shut tight, and Steve watched as your face contorted in pleasure as he flicked and circled again and again and again.

"Yes, baby. Perfect. So good. So. Fucking. Good."

Every bit of you was soft, from your neck where he placed his kisses to the curled hair hiding the swollen bud of your clit where his fingers played gently and rhythmically. Even the orgasm that gushed from your smooth cunt and stuttered from your lips was soft. You came with a choked cry as your hand pulled him closer by the back of his head, your tits pressed to his chest. Steve looked up to watch you devolve into pleasure, eyes squeezed tightly shut, your hair messy and swirling about your face, the straps of your bra slipping from your shoulder.

"Bed. Now. Right now," you demanded before you even had a chance to come down from your high. He would have been just as happy to have you in the kitchen, just like that, but Steve picked you up, with you latched to his chest like a koala, and carried you upstairs. You felt feather-light in his arms, easily tossed onto the mattress, your hands reaching out to pull his white t-shirt overhead and grab at the plane of his chest. Even as Steve kissed you again you couldn't stop tracing your fingertips over the lines of his torso, the ridges of his abs, the v-line that led tantalizingly toward the waistband of his pants. He felt his cock twitch and strain against the fabric of his boxers, the rough cotton not enough to stimulate him but enough to make him ache for your pussy. Your fluttering hands were not helping and Steve pictured your thin fingers wrapping around his length.

"Look at you," you said. "You're fucking perfect." It was Steve's turn to blush.

Steve wasn't...inexperienced. But it had been a while, to say the least, since he'd had the time or energy or capacity to even feel attracted to anyone. And even longer, perhaps never, since he felt the way he felt about you, like a bee to a flower, drunk on sweet nectar and high on honey. That was you, the delicate flower, so small and tender beneath him, yet as stunning and resonating and thunderous as the fireworks bursting somewhere overhead.

Fighting to survive was all Steve had known for so long, standing up to the bully and helping the fallen to their feet, that it was a relief to not have to be that man for you. You didn't require protection or help or anything from him at all, and yet you welcomed his presence endlessly. Steve realized he was not a need for you, but a want, and for the first time he felt valued for something real, something that wasn't just his brute strength, but something almost bordering on love. This he understood as he stared at your sweet face, caging you beneath him in bed.

"Earth to Steve," you said softly as your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling his pelvis down toward yours and dragging a deep groan from his lungs. He hadn't noticed he'd stopped kissing you and was getting lost in drinking you in amidst his reverie until your small hand pressed to the back of his neck and gently guided him back to your lips. But you stopped just shy, your eyebrows knitted in concern, taking his leisurely manner for uncertainty. "We can stop if you want."

"No, definitely not."

"Good. Then stop staring and kiss me."

"Where?" he teased.

"Everywhere, big man."

Everywhere was doable. So he started at your lips with one so big and breathless it rivaled Mount Everest. For a moment he let himself forget about everything except how long he could go without oxygen against your lips. But there remained more of you to taste.

Steve's lips connected with your chin and slid down your jawline, taking time to kiss the pulse of your neck and the dip of your clavicle. The fan of his breath tickled across your skin and you giggled, the purest sound of joy bubbling from your lips at his touch. More of that he wanted. So he continued down to the valley between your breasts, full and round despite your stature, removing your bra as he did so, nibbling lightly at the peaks of your chest before replacing his teeth with his pinching fingers and moving lower again. Lower toward the edge of your ribs, arched upward to meet the movement of his mouth, toward the slope of your hips, his sharp nose following each kiss as your underwear joined your bra into the abyss.

Your thighs he kissed, top to bottom, left and right, but it was your ass he couldn't get enough of, filling his grip with handfuls of your flesh, using it to pull you toward the edge of the bed where he kneeled, lifting your hips toward his face, your legs slung one over each shoulder. Steve sunk his tongue into your folds without warning and you gasped, your thighs suddenly squeezing tight around his head.

"Yes, right there," you hissed between ragged breaths.

He responded by burying deeper, gripping you harder, and moaning with delight at your overwhelming taste and scent bombarding his senses. You squirmed but didn't pull away as Steve's hands worked their way back up your stomach to cup the tissue of your breasts, the width of his palms capturing the flesh in one big handful. Your hands covered his, holding them there, forcing him to press you into the bed while his mouth left you twitching and bucking beneath his touch.

And in spite of the urgency with which Steve wished to devour you, he continued on leisurely, doing his best to build you up slowly and gently pick you apart bit by bit the way you had asked him to do it before. Your body betrayed its delight, evidenced enough by the way your legs hooked around him and held him down, but you praised him anyways, rapture falling from your lips between sporadic moans of pleasure.

"Fuck, Steve, you're so good, oh God yes, baby, you're doing so good, taste me like that," you cried, and the words spurred him onward, hurried his movements just slightly, his tongue circling your clit, fingers circling your areolas. He would do whatever you asked, jump off a cliff, take a bullet to the chest, drown himself in a river, if only to please you. But you would never ask anything of him that he couldn't give, and Steve knew the moment you asked for his heart it would be his heart you'd receive. And with that intent in his mind, he made you come undone with a silent cry.

Eventually, the trembling ceased, even as he continued to drink your release with the ministrations of his tongue.

"Oh fuck, you like the way I taste baby?" you asked. His affirmation came out muffled and sloppy between your legs. Even you were breathless, barely getting out the words, but you pushed him nonetheless. "I wanna hear you say it, Steve. You like eating me out? Like drinking my juices?"

"Fuck, yes, you taste like goddamn heaven, darling."

"Kiss me, Steve."

"Yes, ma'am."

He complied without a second thought, crawling back up your body to lean over you, giving you a taste of the heaven he had just dipped into. When your fingers found his belt, he helped you remove the rest of his clothes. And then your hands were roving down his chest again, searching blindly until they found what they were looking for. Steve groaned at your touch on his swollen cock.

You gasped. "Oh, God."

Before Steve could respond you pushed him over onto his back and straddled his thighs, eyeing the length on display before you, fingers around it as if testing the girth and finding them unable to wrap all the way around.

"Oh God," you repeated. A short laugh bubbled up from your throat, the controlling front you'd managed to maintain this whole time slipping from your tone.

"Something wrong?" he asked, feeling slightly inadequate under your scrutiny. Steve sat up to meet your eyes, hands finding their place on your hips.

You gazed at him, eyes wide and glassy. "You're gonna split me in half with that thing."

"We don't have to. Not if you aren't comfortable."

"Oh baby, I'm gonna get real comfortable sitting on your cock." Your sultry grin was back and you rose up on your knees to look down at him. Your other hand swiped between your legs, two fingers gathering the warm, wet juices of your orgasm, before joining the first around his cock. You pumped, rolling a drop of precum off the tip with your thumb and rubbing it down his length, mixing the release of your pleasure with his. Steve barely held back from bucking his hips into your hand. He would save that for your pussy.

"I want you to fill me," you whispered. "I wanna be so fucking full. Just go slowly, okay?"

"Slowly. I got you, baby girl. You can take me. Let me fill you."

Steve lifted your hips and guided you forward, aligning your entrance with his length. You moved at a crawling pace, letting gravity sink your pussy around him, pausing every inch to adjust to his intrusion. His biceps stung with the grip of your fingernails in his skin, but it was a welcome distraction from the rush of pleasure threatening to tip him over the edge prematurely. Agonizingly you dipped further, a cry falling from your lips, until you were fully seated, the tip of him pressed into the cavity behind your cervix. You were warm, so, so warm, and soft and tight and you fit perfectly, just like he knew you would.

"Fuck, Steve, you're so big."

"Am I hurting you?" he asked, wiping away a tear from your cheek with his thumb.

"No, fuck, no, you feel so good. I just--I can't move."

"I got you, darling," Steve whispered, his face falling to your chest and burying it in the soft flesh of your tits. And then he wrapped his arms around your waist and did all the moving for you, lifting you up and sinking you down again, just fast enough to make you gasp for air and whine his name. With every thrust, you cried out in pleasure.

"Don't stop, Steve, please, baby, don't stop."

The fingers of one hand tugged at his hair dampened by sweat, nails scratching lightly across his scalp, as the other fell between your legs. You pressed your fingers around your clit and along your entrance, feeling where Steve's thick cock was pushing in and out of your tight pussy, feeling how big he was, how much he filled you. The meandering touch of your fingers almost sent him straight over the edge.

But it was the slick warmth of your cunt that was too much, and Steve found himself resting his forehead more and more heavily against your chest, willing himself to give you everything you wanted before he even thought about himself. The satin scent of your skin, like talcum and rose and his cologne, intoxicated him with every breath, and he sucked and nibbled on one breast and then the other, mindlessly attending to the most sensitive parts of you. A drop of sweat rolled down your sternum and Steve chased it with his tongue, licking a warm stripe up the center of your chest.

"Tell me what you need, darling."

"Fuck, that's perfect," you whined. "You fuck me so good, baby. Don't stop. Gonna make me come--make me come so hard."

Your fingers pressed against your clit once more and then you were clenching around him, your already tight pussy settling into a pulsing vice grip, your body shaking against his while he kissed the sweat from your collar bones. Steve felt you pumping the life out of him, riding out your orgasm and dragging him closer to his. The hand that had been on your clit moved to cup the weight of his balls, pinching and massaging as they pulled in heavy with the need for release.

"Where do you want me, darling, you gotta tell me."

You practically ordered him to come inside you, told him you wanted to feel him sticky between your thighs all night and it was suddenly Steve's turn to come undone, his hot seed pumping deep inside you, his twitching member finally finding release. He moaned your name against your lips, pulling you into a final searing kiss.

When, after a good twenty minutes of not moving from that position, of breathing heavy and kissing softly, you finally pulled away to lean down and lick his cock clean, the sticky mingling of you and him on your tongue, and he had to fight the urge to get hard again. And when you kissed him again, he tasted that mingling, two souls becoming one, as they were meant to be.

He slept next to you for the first time that night, your small frame encased in his, even though there was no need to share body heat in the dead of summer. But he actually slept, no dreams, no nightmares, no waking up in the middle of the night. Just deep, heavy sleep, your head tucked beneath his chin, back to his bare chest, his hands holding your breasts, and your hands holding his. Tangled together. Souls as one.

#steve rodgers x reader #steve rogers #captain america #captain america x reader #avengers smut #captain america smut #steve rogers smut #simping for steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america fanfiction

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tearsofgrace · 3 years

Text

eternity with you

that’s right. 12 days after the gd finale aired i finally wrote a mf coda

wc: 2.1k, tags: john winchester’s a+ parenting, angst, but happy ending, love confessions, first kiss

edit: thanks @fandomstuff67 for the title you queen

also on archive

“Cas helped,” Bobby said with a smile, looking over at Dean to catch his reaction.

Dean felt a jolt of electricity run through him, and he fought to control his face. He was in Heaven now. Cas was in Heaven now. He gulped, trying to stop the shaking.

“He’s-” he started. He couldn’t say it. Otherwise it might slip away. He’d hadn’t even mentioned Cas’ name since it happened… it hurt too much. It hurt too much to think about what Cas had said. To think about how he’d just stood there, the world collapsing all around him.

“Cas is alive,” Bobby finished with a smile.

“Alive,” Dean repeated slowly, tasting the word on his tongue. Cas was alive. “Where?” he blurted before he could stop himself.

Bobby raised an eyebrow and took another sip of beer. “Don’t know. Could be anywhere in Heaven. He and Jack don’t really stay in one place.”

Dean gulped again and nodded. He was sure he was being obvious… but at this point, what did it matter? He had to find Cas. He had to find Cas and tell him- well, and give him an answer. He had to explain why he hadn’t gotten him out while he was on Earth. Had to explain that he’d tried… even if Sam didn’t know.

“It’s a big, new world out there.” Bobby was still smiling, a peace in his eyes that Dean had rarely, if ever, seen when he was alive. “I guess the question is… what are you gonna do now, Dean?”

Find Cas, he thought immediately. But he didn’t say it. He hadn’t even processed the fact that Cas was gone yet, much less that he was in love with-

“I need to go see my folks,” he said through gritted teeth. Then he took a steadying breath and looked up from his beer to Bobby. “Then I’m gonna find Cas.” He held the older hunter’s gaze, almost challenging him to comment. But Bobby just smiled back at him and nodded.

“Well, you’ll need that then,” he said, nodding to the open field in front of them.

Even with his thoughts swirling and his heart still pounding in his chest, Dean couldn’t stop the smile that formed when he saw his Baby sitting ready and waiting. That was some consolation, at least. Some consolation for being separated from his brother, from his life, from the apple-pie job he’d been about to take. But there was no use dwelling on the past now. He was dead. And he wasn’t going back… not this time. So, he might as well put a few things to bed while he was here.

Slipping behind the wheel felt as safe as it always did. Baby hadn’t changed. Even the imperfections had stuck, and he was grateful for it. People always thought paradise meant perfection, but he didn’t think so. No, paradise was something else. It was acceptance. It was truth. It was family.

He waved goodbye to Bobby and pulled out onto the road, driving slowly to look for the house. He wasn’t surprised when he found it. It looked exactly like the old house in Lawrence. Complete with the tree in front.

His nerves started buzzing more as he walked up the long drive to the porch. He should just go find Cas now. This wasn’t important.

But before he could turn to leave, the door swung open and his mom was wrapping him in a giant hug, tears wet on her cheeks. She was younger than when he knew her. More like the Mary he’d seen when he was thrown into the past. She looked happier too. Free of the worries of the world.

“You made it,” she said simply, her arms still tight around him.

“Yeah,” he said with a laugh. He held her tight, the tornado of emotions inside him threatening to break free. Then he looked up and saw the reason he was here. His heart nearly stopped, but by some heavenly miracle, it kept beating.

“Hey, Dad.”

John nodded, a smile breaking out over his youthful face. “Dean,” he managed, before going in for a hug.

Instinctively, Dean backed up, his hands held up defensively. He took another deep breath, glancing back to the car as if he still had a chance to run, and then turned to face John.

The smile had melted from his face and he folded his arms across his chest.

Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at his feet. Maybe he was being stupid. Because it hadn’t really been that bad, right? He’d made it all up. His dad had been through a lot. He had every right to treat them like he did. And Dean had never measured up. Had never been good enough. That was on him.

That’s not who you are, Cas whispered in his ear. He cleared his throat and forced himself to look up.

“Mom, can you give us a minute?” His eyes never left John, but he saw her nod out of the corner of his eye before disappearing back into the house. John stepped outside and closed the door, gesturing to a set of deck chairs.

“We can stand,” Dean said, his voice already tight.

“What the hell is this about, boy?” His voice was low. More like the John Winchester that Dean remembered. More like the John Winchester that had been created when Mary died. Or, really, the John that had been there all along but had been hidden in empty promises and sweet nothings.

Dean clenched his fists, still hidden inside of his pockets, and forced himself to keep eye contact with his father. He was older than him here. His dad looked the same age as Mary, carefree even as his face slipped into a scowl. The youth didn’t make him any less intimidating. Didn’t stop memories of whiskey-fueled beatings from playing over and over in Dean’s head.

“You were wrong,” he said finally. His voice shook slightly, but he didn’t care. What was John going to do now? With Mary there, with them in Heaven… his hands were tied.

John snorted and leaned back against the doorframe. “About what?”

“I’m not worthless.” There was a lump in his throat now, but it was more from anger than anything else.

“Dean, let’s leave the past in the-”

“Shut up.”

John’s eyes widened and he took a step forward. When he spoke, his voice was even lower than before, shaking with anger. “What did you say to me?”

“I don’t owe you anything. You gave me nothing. But I needed to say that. Needed you to hear it. Because I finally know that you were wrong. All those years, all that pain… you were wrong.”

“You still talk like a goddamn fairy.”

Dean felt a shiver run down his spine but he held his ground. “Ever wonder why?” he spat.

“We’ve been over this, boy. Don’t tell me you forgot while I was away.” John took another step toward him, uncrossing his arms and letting them fall loosely at his sides.

Something shifted in Dean and some of the anger dissipated, replaced by confidence. Cas’ voice was still loud in his ear, telling him who he really was. Telling him this was okay. “You raised a faggot, John Winchester. Took me a long time to come around to it, too. But,” he shrugged, watching as his father’s eyes narrowed and his hands started to curl into tight fists, “I’m good with it now. I’m good with who I am. And, truthfully, I don’t give a fuck what you think.”

He saw the fist coming and ducked before taking a step backward.

“Something I gotta do,” he called as he walked away. “Tell Mom I love her. And I’ll be back.”

His heart was pounding in his chest but he didn’t dare look back. He knew if he did, he would crumple to the ground. His legs would just give out and he would take whatever punishment John deemed necessary. So he just walked. Got behind the wheel and tore away, his throat dry and his hands shaking but his heart at peace.

He drove for a while before he came back to his senses. Before what he’d done really sunk in. He could picture John talking to Mary, the disgust in his voice obvious. He honestly didn’t know what his mom would think. But at this point he didn’t care. There was only one thing on his mind. Only one infuriating angel he could think about. And he was here. Alive. In Heaven.

His hands were tight on the wheel as he pulled over to the side of the long road. It had gone through the forest for a while, but now it was hugging a beautiful coast line, the horizon seemingly miles away, the sun glittering off the waves.

Without thinking, he got out from the car and walked down the hill to the beach. He chose a rock on the edge of the sand to sit on, not wanting to venture further toward the ocean.

Then he closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. This was the easy part. He could do this.

“Cas,” he breathed into the empty air. Then he stopped. That was it. That was all he could say. Because he hadn’t said that name since- since Cas was taken. He hadn’t said that name since the angel had been standing in front of him, tear-streaked face filled with an expression of joy Dean had never seen before.

He tried to force more words out. But they just got caught in his throat, choking him until tears were filling his eyes and his breaths came in gasps.

Then, through his sobs, a familiar fluttering of wings rustled the air.

“Hello, Dean.”

All of his thoughts stopped. His mind was completely empty as he leapt from the rock facing the sea and whirled around to find Cas standing there, his expression blank.

Dean barely had time to take him in before he was crashing into him, his arms wrapping around the angel and holding him tightly to his chest. After a second, he remembered to breathe, and he took in Cas’ familiar scent that was now surrounding him.

“Dean,” Cas started as his arms came up from where they had been stiffly held at his sides to return the hug.

“Nope,” Dean said, his voice coming back. “You don’t get to talk.”

Reluctantly, he untangled himself from Cas’ arms, and looked into his eyes. He kept his hands on Cas’ shoulders, though, the touch grounding him.

There was fear in those blue eyes, but maybe hope too. Just a sliver of it.

Dean took another deep breath before letting the smile he had been holding back slip onto his face.

He shook his head, suddenly unable to stop the laughter bubbling in his stomach. “You asshole.”

Cas tilted his head and Dean’s laughter redoubled. He had thought he would be angry. Cas was alive, and he hadn’t even dropped in to let them know he was okay. But he didn’t care. Not in this moment. Because Cas was standing right in front of him. Cas was real.

The confusion on Cas’ face grew, his eyes squinting and his head tilting even further and suddenly Dean didn’t want to laugh anymore.

He surged forward, their lips meeting awkwardly as Cas stumbled backward. He held Cas tight to him, letting his hands drift upward into his hair, and finally Cas started kissing back.

When they pulled away for air, Cas’ expression was still guarded, though his defenses had started to slip away.

“I love you too, Cas.”

The rest of Cas’ walls fell down and he smiled. It wasn’t a huge smile, but it was better. It was soft, his eyes crinkled, and he looked at Dean like he was the most precious thing in the world.

There was too much to say. Too much to explain. Too many memories to relive. And they had all the time in the world. So Dean didn’t say anything at all. Instead, he slipped his hand into Cas’ and led him to the flat rock. He hopped up and patted the space next to him, waiting for Cas to get settled before he leaned onto his shoulder.

The sea air was everything he’d always imagined. Salty and fresh and calming.

The sun was hanging lower in the sky now. Like it knew they were here, watching it. Cas pulled Dean in tighter to him as they watched it slip lower down, colors exploding across the horizon.

The waves beat against the shore steadily and a breeze blew along with them, rustling Dean’s hair against Cas’ chin. They didn’t say anything that night. Just watched as the sunset faded into stars hanging over a sea of black.

They finally had what they’d never had on Earth. Time. And they were going to use every last second of it.

tag list below (ask to be added or removed) also when i was gone a lot of you changed your urls and idk what they are now so if you wanna drop me an ask w your new url feel free

@menjiiii @starlightcastiel @chaoticdean @larryforeveralways @dreamnovak @heller-jensen @tlakhtwritesdestiel @wanderingcas @prayedtoyou @good-things-do-happen-dean @jayus-fandom-writer @dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you @starrynightdeancas @radiantdean @piemaker-from-gallifrey @on-a-bender @eshaninjer @trasherasswood @dreadful-delight @feraladoration @trenchcas @contemplativepancakes @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @thefourthheadofcerberus @seffersonjtarship @randomblabbling @craftywitchywoman @adsp-destielcockles @tehmanda @castielscrookedtrenchcoat @queen-rowenas @expectingtofly @that-one-fandom-chick @quicksilver-ships @destielle @charmedbycastiel @cursed-or-not @faithcastiel @internetintroverts @sloth-with-y-yo-a-ti-cas

#spn fanfic #supernatural fanfic #spn fan fiction #destiel fanfic #deancas fic #destiel fic #destiel ficlet #my writing

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chaoticneutralwriter · 3 years

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GD!Jimin Extras: Golden Hour

As they say, taking a picture lasts longer.

guardian demon!jimin x reader

genre: supernatural, fluff, romance, angst, slow-burn

word count: 2.2k

related works: see Masterlist under guardian demon!jimin au

A snapshot of the days before The Storm

A/N: Shout out to @azulamakesmeblank because this was partially inspired by this ask! As promised, a fluff chapter before the literal shit storm that’s about to take place in the story (butisitreallywhenyoureadthelastlineofthispromptwhat:’)) I hope you enjoy it! it’s kinda half edited dkfhgha I love you guys as always for your support and patience for this story! 💖💖💖💖

Tags: @cherryjiminiee @kokobaekkie @breathebangtan @itsadoozie @thatshylatina @chiminieboi @azulamakesmeblank @sectumsemptae @awkwardwookie @aduky @poisonseashell @shortannoyingginger @caramelmac-chiato @sana-b @jiminstinct @beautifulparisiangirl @taelieninvader @ggukjitaejin @xakemi-chiix @vantaenims @atulipandarose @moments-of-melancholy @xclo02 @cherub-kookie @gottadreamitallaway @indiesy @disn3yfreak @oerangdoongi @definitelynotshady @youmaiiwasherebeforeu

You arrive at the front door a little too breathlessly in your haste. It should be embarrassing but blaming your increased pulse on your lack of fitness has your mind and, ironically, your heart resting easier than having to think that you're actually half-nervous and half-excited to see Jimin again.

Even though you literally saw him just yesterday.

You really need to pull yourself together better; you'd rather not have a repeat of pouring tomato sauce all over the counter because your hands got too shaky from Jimin watching you cook dinner (and after you insisted on him not needing to do anything too!)

You take in a fortifying breath, appearing to be squaring up to take the final stand in saving the world instead of simply seeing your boyfriend for what's essentially a stay-in dinner date. You punch in the pass code to the lock pad with practised ease, almost not giving enough time for the beep to chime as you push the door open.

“Jimin?” You call out in greeting once you toe off your shoes and slip on your pair of house slippers. Your eyes scan over the vast living room, spotting the head of raven locks peeking out from the end of the couch. Stepping closer, a smile sneaks its way onto your lips when you realize that he's most likely resting, given his lack of response. Quietly, you step into the kitchen area to set down your bags of grocery on the counter before you make your way to peer over the back of the seat. You're instantly smitten at what you see.

The sun is beginning to make its descent below the horizon, dying the clouds in an ombre of fiery oranges, pinks and reds against the remnants of soft pale blue sky. Thanks to the generous amount of window space the penthouse has, the golden glow easily washes over the interior of the living room and bathes everything with its light; Jimin being no exception.

It cascades over his skin like honey, high-lighting the bridge of his nose, the tops of his cheeks, and the shape of his cupid's bow. It makes his long lashes stand out so delicately and the equally dark strands of hair that falls gently over his forehead. Your fingers itch to sweep them away yet at the same time, you don't dare risk disturbing this sleeping beauty.

So unconsciously, you silently settle yourself on the top of the couch, resting your elbows on the cushion with your head propped up in your hand.

He looks so completely relaxed, one arm tucked behind his head, the other draped over his stomach. The sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbow, forearms toned and the first few buttons undone to expose a teasing view of his collarbones while black slacks hug his thighs perfectly (as per usual). If someone were to take a picture of him right now and slap on some big fashion name on it, you're pretty sure anyone who would see it would believe it to be a legit advertisement or a cover of a magazine.

Now that the thought has crossed your mind, temptation begins to rear its head. From the beginning, it's a no brainer what you imagine one would do given the opportunity of having a guardian demon that looks like the carbon copy of your favourite idol; do whatever you can to prevent said demon from stepping out into the world and risk slandering the actual person they're parading around as, or indulge in your wildest fantasies now that you have the means.

It's....a rather unique position to be in, with a plethora of mixed feelings to say the least.

After the initial shock of it wore off (which was really just taking three business day to process it all), you've come to the conclusion that this whole thing was, more than anything, weird. Some people might be able to turn a blind eye and though you're grateful that he had decided to look like Park Jimin from BTS, no matter how good of a disguise it was, it still doesn't change the fact that it's not Jimin.

You were grateful, but it made you a little resentful towards him.

With such a stark contrast, it's as if all of the good things you associated with that face had been sullied for something colder and unfeeling. You hated that he had chosen to use someone like Park Jimin – the perfect example of a good human being – to mask his much more sinister nature. You were sure it was part of some sick joke, and it felt...wrong.

Like you've lost part of a safe space in your world to the uglier side of the universe.

So in an attempt to preserve Jimin's good name in your heart, you were adamant in keeping your guardian demon at arms' length, hence why doing something as simple as taking a picture with him was out of the question. Not only would it not be in good faith, you can't begin to imagine what would happen if it got out to the world somehow.

And you succeeded....in the most unexpected way possible.

Maybe it was the deep rooted connection you had for Jimin, but there was always, without a doubt, a part of you that was soft to him. At first it had irked you, however over time, you realized it allowed for you to see another part of him that you wouldn't have otherwise. It made you open up to the idea that....he's not as bad as he seems.

You were afraid of losing a piece to your safe space when really, you ended up gaining an entirely new one instead, one that had become just as important.

So maybe that's why, as the longer you stared at Jimin (who's not Jimin but that doesn't mean he's worth anything less), the more you wanted to preserve this memory of him to keep for yourself. It's selfish you know, but things have changed, you've changed, and this is too good of a chance to pass up.

Your phone is out, hands steady as you pull up the camera and you want to laugh at how the image on your screen does no justice in capturing just how ethereal the sight before you is (of course it doesn't, should you really be surprised?) That doesn't stop your finger from tapping the snap button, because as they say, taking a picture lasts longer. The shot is satisfactory enough, getting him at an angle that show him from the waist up. You wonder if you can get another one, this time a little wider....

Well, you'll never know if you'd ever get the shot because your guardian demon chooses to wake up at that moment, locking piercing eyes with you through the phone. You immediately freeze.

There's a pause on his end before you see him pinpoint exactly what is going and a sly smirk tugs imperceptibly at the corner of his lips. “Cherub....” He greets, the low drawl sultry and irises pools of rich melted chocolate.

You gulp, straightening up while trying to inconspicuously put away your phone, a sheepish grin stretching across your face. “Rest well....?”

Jimin pretends to hum in deep thought, shifting so that he's facing more comfortably towards you. “For a good while yes....until my demon senses started tingling, telling me I was being watched. Should I be mildly concerned that you like watching me sleep?”

You scoff, “I don't always watch you sleep.”

“And you totally weren't snapping stalker photos of me.”

Your jaw drops, affronted but you don't go on to deny the claim. “Hey, calling them stalker photos is a stretch. And I'm just saying this because this was the only time I've ever – oof!”

Without warning, his hand had shot out to grab a hold of one of your wrist hanging over the back and with a strong tug, you fall face first onto his chest, an arm encircling you to keep you in place.

“Whatever you wanna call it, doesn't change that I'm still going to charge you for them.” You hear him playfully chastise above you. When you tilt your head up, you see him quirk an eyebrow at you expectantly. You blink, then roll your eyes, pretending to be inconvenienced by his stinginess, as if you're not ready to give him everything if he so much as breathes a word of it.

“Alright, what do you want?”

Jimin doesn't say anything in response, simply staring at you with those bottomless eyes, a smoulder simmering beneath their surface that it has you drowning in their depths. He watches you, unperturbed by your squirming (actually amuses in it) before you practically hear him purr, “What do you think I want?”

Your heart easily skips a beat (or more) and you're sure he can feel it beating frantically from your chest to his. While you're internally combusting, Jimin remains the picture definition of smug, free arm still propped behind his head the same time the other is wrapped around your waist, your face heating at the way you feel his thumb stroke at the strip of warm skin peeking out thanks to your shirt riding up a bit in the tumble.

He's actually infuriating, you think. Why's he gotta be so damn good at what he does?! You don't think he's even trying. Ugh, get it together, this is nothing new so it's not even a big deal! You can be cool about it too!

Giving yourself a chaotic pep talk apparently is what helps you find the courage to scooch up until you're able to land a chaste peck on the centre of his lips. Before you can fully withdraw, you already see the unimpressed look Jimin is shooting your way.

“I know you can do better than that.”

You puff, chewing on your lower lip into a pout; the deadpan in his voice makes you grumble at being called out, your neck and the tips of your ears burning now. Seeing you so flustered though, Jimin couldn't help but be endeared, then finally decide to ease up on the teasing he's been relentlessly subjecting you to. Slowly, he lowers the arm behind his head to gently take a hold on your chin, bringing your attention back to the adoring smile softening his features.

“Pretty cherub,” He coaxes, “Won't you give a little sweet treat for me?”

It takes everything in you to suppress the small whimper that wanted to jump out from the base of your throat at hearing those words. Whether it's teasing, cocky Jimin or loving, doting Jimin, you really aren't built to handle any of them at all, seemingly defaulting to a blushing mess no matter how hard you try be unfazed. Which is why after a moment of resigning to your fate, accepting that there was no point resisting when your heart and body have already betrayed you, do you close your eyes and give in wholeheartedly.

He welcomes you, carefully lets you mould your lips to his for a proper kiss and you helplessly melt against him. You don't think you can ever get used to the feeling but it's like Jimin doesn't mind one bit, pace unhurried to savour every press like it’s your first. Your mind becomes muddled the longer it goes on, and when you feel the swipe of his tongue, you're nearly gone. But as tempting as it is, you can't get too carried away here – you still have dinner to cook!

You allow yourself a few tantalizing licks before you part with great reluctance. Through hazy eyes you meet Jimin's, the little breath you have hitching from the sight of his swollen, moistened lips and dark brown irises now glowing a muted maroon, on the verge of igniting into full blown desire.

“Can't have you spoiling dinner so early.” You say, then embarrassingly avert your gaze at how your voice comes out raspy and thick.

You miss the way the corner of Jimin's mouth twitch, but catch the mischievous glint that's no doubt from mentioning the word 'dinner'. You put on your best scolding face, smacking his chest lightly in reprimand.

“No.”

“I didn't even say anything.” His incredulous retort is drowned out by the laugh he lets out with it, the sound has you struggling to maintain your 'serious' front.

“You were thinking it.”

“Are you sure it's not you projecting your own thoughts onto me?”

You humphed, about to turn away and get off your personal body pillow but Jimin's hold remains steadfast. He sneaks a quick kiss to your forehead once you settle back down again as a means to placate you, chuckling softly, “Okay, okay, I'll behave.”

You giggle lightly, cheeks pressed into his collarbone as you give an approving hum, cuddling even closer to his person and you both lapse into a comfortable silence, breaths in sync. Outside, the final rays of the setting sun disappears below the city's horizon, taking the warmth of the day along with it.

But you find no lack in that when you're lying here in his embrace, because whereas the sun comes and goes, yours remains unwavering.

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onlyhereforangst · 3 years

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WWR

Alright y’all a likely final WWR coming at you, you know 3 months late the day of the dreaded s19 premiere. This definitely gets ranty and emotional, if you’re a Gibbs stan scroll the fuck away & don’t send me hate anon. This is bittersweet and it hurts and I’ve been living in denial for months but I needed this little bit of closure before the writer’s absolutely fuck it up in less than 6 hours. I hope you enjoy my emotional ramblings & I’ve absolutely loved writing these for the past two years, i’ll miss it & your reactions to it dearly ❤️

Badass Ellie is allllllways a treat, and protective nick contrasted to her making albeit slightly reckless decisions is top tier. And then followed up by him being impressed as hell??? He’s like damn my girl just did that and I am not turned on, no way, we are working I am not turned on, nope. Nick sitting at Ellie’s desk in the beginning PLS. Feet kicked up feeling mighty comfortable for someone who hates sitting at a desk 👀 only ok with it when it’s Ellie’s, huh Nick? Also I love that he’s sticking with the nonchalant approach like he did when he found her looking up Eastern Europe locations. He knows if he pushes too hard it won’t go well, but he is still concerned for her well-being. Those pieces slowly clicking into place that something isn’t just off- it’s worrisome off. Because while yes he’s still nonchalant he’s a touch more serious this time, ignoring her attempt at a brush off and claiming “he wants answers.” It’s a subtle step up from 18x14, but it’s there. His spidey senses are tingling and he’s getting less and less able to hide his concern for her 🥺 even if he tries to play it off as flirty banter because yes he’s still gd impressed with her moves and even tells Vance as such essentially.

Flash forward to at the stash house and they find the files plus the mini debrief back in the bullpen…I truly am inclined to believe Ellie doesn’t know here. I mean sure she realizes that the timing fits to a certain extent—she was at NSA when this happened, but I don’t think she knows this is the beginning of her end. She’s like “oh they’re selling secrets too” and “my contacts are all gone” like…I just, she seems too casual and not at all on edge. Idk so far I’m just not getting that vibe. She even brushed off McGee with the whole that was ten years ago almost like she didn’t remember it? But then at the same time she did bring up the whole legal vs ethical- she hedged, but she did mention it. She was not super gung-ho about OMG THIS WAS SO UNETHICAL WTF HOW COULD THEY DO THIS so still……..idk lets continue haha

Ok her knowledge of guns is slightly concerning but also Nick finds it concerning AND hot, boy can’t help himself lets be honest. That “damn” that slips out please, so many sirens going off in that head but also you’re just like well fuck talk dirty to me some more babe. Aaaaand here we go, here’s why I know Ellie didn’t know that odette was going to plant that shit right now. “Whoever took them from the NSA’s code-level servers risked a lot more than their career” with a little like duh face from Ellie SCREAMS that she did not, would not, EVER do that. The leak was fabricated by Odette and the fact that it would be planted during this case was all Odette unbeknownst to Ellie. Or why the fuck would Ellie so casually and somewhat judgmentally be like “who TF would leak something like that, man they stupid, committing treason and whatnot.” And Ellie is SHOOK when Vance tells her it was her. Like shook as in, blinks several times, shifts her weight back, glances at McGee with a flash of surprise in her eyes. That body language screeeeeams being caught off guard. If she had leaked those documents and if she had known this was a plant, she wouldn’t be caught off guard. And no matter how well you can try and play the part, that body language is legit. She’s shocked someone would even think about that and oh man, Nick. Nick’s face hurts me (and I know this is just the beginning). Because a man who has always seen himself as the bad egg, the criminal so to speak, the one who would do something shady before any of the others. He is shook and angry that Vance could even consider accusing Ellie of this. And then there’s the genuine concern etched on his face (and I’d know, the screen is currently paused on his face staring at Ellie with a worried furrowed brow and pain clenched in his jaw) because he knows logical Ellie wouldn’t do this but also he knows he’s been seeing little puzzle pieces fall into place of suspicious behavior and this is just one more thing that doesn’t sit right with him- doesn’t fit the woman he’s come to know and love. And while I know he truly believes she didn’t leak the files, I would bet right here he’s concerned about what the fuck she’s gotten herself wrapped up in.

And she continues to be adamantly against this, like Eleanor Raye Bishop would NOT ever leak intel, not as a baby NSA analyst who believed she was doing the right thing always in her role. Never once bringing up questionable ethics, she thought it was the greater good, that little patriot. She’s so adamantly against it and then Vance asks if she was framed, and I think that’s the point where Ellie realizes this is Odette. The word framed all of a sudden clicks it all into place and she picks up it might be “go time” for her. Her glances over at Vance have changed, they’re more cautious, calculating. She hears they’ve been leaked over ten years ago and she knows that she didn’t do it 10 years ago so this very well may be the notice of eviction from Odette. The “we’re coming for you, Agent Bishop” and her little look, oooooh Ellie is fired up. Her switch flipped and she’s now gotta hunker down and defend herself until she can confirm with Odette. Vance doesn’t even let her get a word in to “fight” for her innocence. But the fact that she’s getting sent home pisses her off, she wants to be close to the investigation, know what’s happening, and I’m sure a part of her still resists being dubbed that traitor of the state. Who knows, Odette may have never told her how she would become a disgraced NCIS agent, and this may have pissed Ellie off because her integrity is something she prides herself on. Her line, “I’m not Gibbs […] I’m innocent line” is like a tiny bright spot to chuckle in during this dismal finale. Gibbs hate train right hereeeee

Love that Kasie is immediately on the Ellie defense side, not looking forward to her reaction to Ellie leaving IF they even decide to show us.

Gibbs telling Ellie “sometimes there’s nothing left to be said” when he fucking up and left the team without so much as a goodbye or sorry for committing police brutality like fuck outta here Gibbs. Ellie is CLEARLY vulnerable right now, she’s been accused of leaking classified documents aka committing treason, she’s suspended, she’s on the brink of going on some dumbass undercover op and is begging, pleading, for any sign from you- her boss and father figure- not to do it. That he shows remorse for leaving the team without a word, that he regrets his decision to just disappear on them, that he wishes he hadn’t or he had done it differently. ANY kind of sign to tell her not to go through with what she’s about to go through. Literally any sign, and instead Gibbs gets defensive and bites back that she’s picking the wrong time in her life (LIKE HELLO YOU JUST SAID IT RIGHT THERE IDIOT, SHE’S GOING THROUGH SHIT MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS BUT NO YOU’RE WRAPPED UP IN GIBBS LA-LA-LAND AND HAVE SAID FUCK YOU TO YOUR SUPPOSED KIDS), so now Ellie is even more pissed and gets defensive back telling him he doesn’t even know what’s going on in her life and if that’s not a desperate cry for help I don’t know what is. like she is begging you Gibbs to pick up on it and figure it out, begging you to do your job that’s you’re supposedly so good at and save her from going through with this stupid mission. And then Ellie realizes that he stopped caring about them. He’d gotten so wrapped up in what he was doing, he stopped caring about their lives, the problems they were facing, anything. Him *not* realizing something was happening??? This is Gibbs, this is the man that always knows what’s happening before you even know what’s happening. So the words “I’m starting to realize that” hit like a fucking dump truck. He’s too preoccupied with his own boat-making nonsense that he can’t be bothered to have even an inkling of an idea of what’s going on in their lives. And he doesn’t seem to care that he’s dropped them from his life. And that’s when it hits Ellie, he’s never coming back. He’s cut the team out of his life and he doesn’t care. He has no regrets, he can’t even be bothered to have a single regret. And I think that, right there, is when Ellie decides she’s all in. I think there was always a small part of her that was hesitant to go along with odette. Hesitant to just upend her career and her relationships (aka Nick, but we’ll get to this), all of it. But hearing that the man she looked up to even though he’d made some mistakes, the man she viewed as a father, the one person who’d taken a chance on the nerdy analyst long ago, the one constant through all the turmoil she’d had, just left? Just left without a goodbye, without remorse, without even a parting thought for her? That was it for her. Whatever brainwashing Odette had fed her that she’d pushed back against from fully taking over finally broke free. And with it, Ellie grieves, she’s tearing up from knowing what she’s about to lose. Lose the man she viewed as a father, the coworkers that were like a family, the partner she’d found herself loving like she’d never loved before.

Ugh poor hurt Nick, he’s willing to do all the grunt work that he abhors in order to free up McGee so he can save Ellie. Nick knows he doesn’t have the skills and I think that’s killing him even more so. He can’t just do it himself, he has to rely on someone else to clear her name (to which he bumped back to last name in a last ditch attempt to maintain distance and keep some semblance of emotions in check, which is failing miserably), and that is killing the doer we know and love. LOL “so you’re both wrong” this poor man I love him, I can’t wait for the tears that will come from me later 🥲 nick immediately taking Jessica’s help, I love it. He’s like I don’t give AF who will help us but I am clearing this woman’s name if it’s the last thing I do. And then she walks in and he’s frozen. All these emotions running through him and then she’s there?? And she ignores him??? Ignores all of them?? Rushes past and storms up to the director on a suicide mission??? Yeah this is why I said that conversation with Gibbs was her last nail in the coffin. She hadn’t decided to go through with it (hence why she hedged earlier with Vance) and then he went and was a piece of shit so she said the hell with it and went all in. She can’t even bring herself to speak at Nick, barely looks at him, because she knows, she knows if she speaks to him, if he gets a chance to try and talk her down in the heightened emotional state she’s in after talking to Gibbs, she won’t be able to hold it in. She won’t be able to deal with seeing emotionally charged and hurt Nick. So she ignores him and McGee and does what she thinks she has to do. How hard did it have to be for Ellie to tell Vance not to defend her, and that their intel was correct? 🥺🥺 it goes against everything she’s ever stood for and she just went and did it. She hates liars and yet she lied. She loves her country and yet she claimed she committed treason. Her body language once again screams uncomfortable but trying to play it off. She’d nodding and repeating it over and over because she needs to convince herself of the words. They leave a bitter taste in her mouth and she can’t stop it. All she can do is clench her jaw a little tighter and get it over with and convince herself.

Nick is in disbelief, obviously. McGee looks like he’s five seconds from breaking down because his little sister is supposedly a traitor??? Like he can’t believe it. He’s hurt she would do something like this even though he still knows in his gut that it can’t possibly be true. And oh FUCK the part where Nick’s voice cracks asking if Vance fired Ellie. Fuuuuuuuck me. This man’s heart is breaking for what’s happening to Ellie and being completely in the dark about it. Sure they weren’t really clear on what “they” were after The Talk but still. He thought she was open with him. Ever since the jail cell, things had shifted and he thought she’d been honest with him. He’d picked up on those little things, but maybe it was just training or something, NOT committing alleged treason and quitting the one career she loved. Not leaving him in the dark and vanishing without so much as a word. Not that. Because she KNOWS his past, she knows how much shit he’s been through with people in his life leaving without so much as a goodbye. And his voice continues to crack asking about what’s going on because he’s literally in shock. McGee is desperately trying to keep it together, keep some sort of figurehead for the team. Nick is in shambles ok, just like I’m in shambles. He’s adamant she didn’t do it because he KNOWS her. He knows she would never in a million years leak classified intel and now he’s just confused like a lost and kicked puppy. She didn’t DO IT, and she’s not answering her PHONE. He just wants to talk to her, he just wants to know she’s ok, wants to comfort her, wants to convince her to stop and it’ll be alright and he’ll take care of her and he’ll save her because that’s all he wants to do and always has, right? Save her. Save her from everything in this world that could hurt her. Protect her from life’s dangers. Protect her because he can’t bear the thought of losing her. And that all is crumbling down around him. All of it, crashing down like an avalanche, ready to bury him alive in grief and guilt and despair and anger. How am I supposed to TALK to her, he just wants to fucking be with her. He just wants to be there. With her. For the rest of their lives.

Ellie looking at the hat, please. That’s a lifetime of regret packed into one facial expression right there. She’s looking at that hat, the one she cherishes from the moment Gibbs hands it to her, and knows it’ll be the last time she ever sees it again. It’s not something she can take with her, and it’s full of fond memories—most happy, some sad, a few bittersweet—but memories that have made her life whole the past 8 years. And there’s officially no going back, she’s admitted to treason, there’s no way out of that. She’s having to say goodbye to all of her career without saying goodbye to any of them, all of that is wrapped up in that hat. A hat that’s so simple but signifies so much to her. She definitely was not expecting McGee to come out and so her rebuttals to him are exasperated and grasping at straws initially. She tries sarcasm and then she tries to brush it off “it doesn’t matter, it’s done […] I get that, I don’t want to talk about it” when McGee voices that he’s hurt over this and her reputation matters to him. Because he’s like another brother to you dammit Ellie. Yeah he’s grown since he said Ziva was like a sister to him and just stomped on your heart, he didn’t say it then but you’re like a sister to him too Ellie. I love that he fights her on it, and Ellie is like shit I have to come up with something. I don’t think she expected McGee of all people to fight her on this and I’m so glad he did. A little bit of growth because he is not going to see another person he views as family leave him again. And Ellie’s half assed excuses please, all of it is just such BULLSHIT because when they first debriefed she was just like “ethical? Hmmm” nothing more, nothing about being a vigilante and being up in arms over this like she claims she was. Bullshit Ellie, bullshit. And the PARALLELS TO FUCKING GIBBS. THIS IS WHAT YOU DID GIBBS, THIS IS YOU. LOOK WHERE YOU FUCKING PUSHED ELEANOR BISHOP TO STOOP TO. McGee begging her to regret it and Ellie pulls a Gibbs and is like NOPE. WONDER WHERE THE FUCK SHE LEARNED THAT FROM HUH. Gibbs you are singlehandedly responsible for this shit and how Ellie broke Nick’s heart and whatever happens to her on this stupid mission. I’m glad your dumb boat blew up, you deserve it.

“I don’t want protection” because I can’t have you all following me.

“It kills me that I lied to the people I was closest to” not about what you think I’m lying about but what I’ve been hiding. It kills me that I can’t tell you the real reason for this. It kills me.

“It wasn’t years ago for us” McGee rip my heart out please it will hurt less. And Ellie just playing into all of it. Knowing that she needs him and everyone else to hate her and not trust her. Her entire livelihood and backstory rely on them hating her and not following her, believing she’s the enemy and she’s hid these kinds of secrets for so long. Believing she’s a criminal and it was all a farce. She has to play into it. She has to. It’s the only way she will survive, they’ll survive. Odette likely fed her this shit, cut all ties, make sure no one follows, make sure no one is attached, burn all bridges.

Ah and we’re back to pissed Nick. Nick who doesn’t like to be left in the dark ever, let alone when it deals with Bishop. Getting his edgy self being rude to Kasie but Kasie doesn’t even bat an eyelash. She knows Nick is hurting and she reaches out to him, she doesn’t take his tone to heart because she knows. Nick saying he wouldn’t know how she’s doing is just like a knife to the heart. He wants to know, desperately. He once thought he was the person she would go to in times like these but now all he’s getting is radio silence, a cold shoulder, and screened phone calls. He’s in visceral pain from the thought of her going through this alone, pain from everything he once thought true and good being destroyed in a day’s time. And Kasie is shocked that Nick hasn’t spoken to her. If that doesn’t tell you she knows that they are a thing and the gravity of all this, I don’t know what will. Nick should have spoken to her, clearly he wants to, in every other situation he would have already. But Kasie (and Jessica) just realized Ellie is shutting Nick out and that is Not Good.

Back to Gibbs. Fucking asshole he is. McGee comes to you desperate to help his sister, Gibbs’ “daughter” and he goes “I think she’s at a crossroads” ???? Acting like he didn’t fucking encourage her at this so-called crossroads???? Like ???? The fuck???? Her crossroads was painfully obvious when she came to talk to you and YOU basically treated her like you couldn’t care less about her. That you had no clue what she was dealing with in her life and said as much. So yeah, she WAS at a fucking crossroads until you SHOVED her into oncoming traffic and said have a nice fucking life. AND THEN. McGee wants to help her and Gibbs tells him he can’t??? “Not this time” bitch this is YOUR FAULT. YOU COULD HAVE HELPED HER. COULD HAVE TALKED TO HER AT LEAST SOMEWHAT AND YOU DIDN’T. YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T REALIZE SHE WAS SPIRALING AND THAT YOU DIDN’T REGRET LEAVING YOUR SO-CALLED FOUND FAMILY IN THE DUST AND GUESS WHAT. SHE WENT AND PARROTED YOUR WORDS RIGHT BACK AT MCGEE SO FUCK YOU GIBBS.

Ooooh Nick looks lethal, love that look, hate why he has that look though. Lol Nick getting ready to go murder the dude in interrogation because he set up Ellie and he’s just ignoring the fact that she claims she committed treason because he already knows there is literally no way on earth that she did it. And Vance realizing that Nick needs to stand down like fiiiiiiinally someone realized it. Obviously he isn’t gonna listen and poor Nick, this boy has it bad and he’s truly just SO WORRIED for what Ellie is about to do. Because right there, the confirmation that the file was a plant, that was the final puzzle piece falling into its perfect place. Every single thing he questioned, every little moment he’d replayed in his head, it all made sense. And he was so very pissed she hadn’t come to him- and honestly I think part of him is trying to ignore the WHY that’s behind that because he truly wouldn’t be able to think straight if he went there. I think that would be his end, going into the why she didn’t trust him, why she lied, why it hurts him so much. It would be the end, and yet…we’re just beginning here. And of course he knows exactly who is manipulating Ellie, he hadn’t trusted that scum from the start. So of course he goes straight to Odette’s cabin and lays in wait, probably pouring over all the documents and things Ellie did or didn’t leave behind there.

Ellie pulling up in the truck and that heavy sigh? Yeah, she’s still not convinced this is a good idea. She’s running on emotions but that logical part of her (and deep down, her heart, knowing what she’s about to do- who she’s about to cut out of her life) is whispering of how very bad an idea this is. She still has to gather her willpower to get out of that car but when it’s Gibbs calling her? The same Gibbs that basically just kicked her out the door without so much as a wave goodbye? Yeah, the emotion just came rushing back, pushing the logic aside. She claims she can’t tell Nick because no shit if she has to look him in the face and lie and still say goodbye, it’ll kill her. She’s honestly not sure if she can go through with it.

OH we back to a Gibbs hate novel, hold on. “I’M REALLY PROUD OF YOU BISHOP” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’M REALLY PROUD YOU’RE THROWING EVERYTHING YOU EVER WORKED FOR AWAY, PUSHING THE ONES YOU LOVE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LIFE, SACRIFICING YOUR ONE SHOT OF LOVE THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE DESERVE THE MOST. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU. Oh fuck OFF Gibbs. “Following your gut” oh shut UP. I just don’t understand this part. I don’t understand it, and I’m trying so hard for it to make sense, for it to be in character. Like does Gibbs have any clue?? I’m sure he recognizes the signs, I’m sure he has an inkling at this point. So how would he be proud? How the FUCK would he say he’s learned some stuff from her. Does he mistakenly trust Odette because of what she did for Ziva? Is he just so self-absorbed he doesn’t completely comprehend what Ellie is doing leaving Nick behind??? And Rule 91 is a load of shit. “When you decide to walk away, don’t look back” how FUCKING STUPID. Like Gibbs of all people, you should understand that is a SHIT rule. You’ve lost the people you loved dearly and you think she should just never look back? Like are you saying this so that Ellie has a clear head for the undercover op? Are you hoping she doesn’t get herself killed by being wrapped up in what she left behind??? What the actual fuck. Stupid ass rule honestly. It’s what you live by Gibbs and look how well that turned out for you. Look at the family you ditched. Nice fucking job.

“It’s done” and “what are you talking about I did everything you asked” ok she’s 100% being manipulated and almost blackmailed somehow. There’s no other explanation. Eleanor Raye Bishop wouldn’t do this shit. Not willingly, not if she knew how much Nick loved her and how much she loved him (which if her words in just a minute are any indication, yeah she had a fucking clue). Odette calling Nick a loose end just SCREAMS how she purposefully fucking chose the moment Ellie and Nick started to get close to decide it was time for Ellie to go undercover. I just KNOW it. She’s a manipulative bitch and there is no limit to the rock bottom she will stoop to.

Ellie knows who she’s talking about and the just look of fuck I have to actually tell him to his face. The doubt and grief and guilt and all of it, flashing across her face as she realizes she has to do this. She has to face this, she has to lie. She has to break his trust (not that she hasn’t already) something SHE made so painstakingly clear she needed from Nick. Nick is rightfully *pissed* I mean who can blame him. Ellie with her, “I have nothing to be sorry for.” I know Ellie is just doing her best to burn bridges, the hesitation and avoidance leading up to this lends itself to no other interpretation. She is going to say anything and everything to make sure Nick does not follow her. Make sure he stays as far away as possible from her. She can’t bear the thought of him getting hurt in some way from all this. Even though he may not get physically hurt, I don’t think she realizes the heart break is going to be worse. The painful part is Nick understands, he understands why she wants to do undercover. He had seen that glimmer in her eye when they were Charlie and Luis, he gets it, he’s been there. And he wishes so desperately he could impress every lesson he’s learned on her right then and there but at the same time he knows it won’t change a thing. He just wishes in vain that their love would change her mind, even if logic wouldn’t, their love surely could. I think Ellie starts to realize just how much Nick can see through her and that’s why she owns up to the fact that Odette planted the files, and also why I believe the leak was all an elaborate hack that Ellie didn’t know about.

Then we get to the even more painful part of Nick giving us a glimpse of his raw heart. The why now with a voice crack and Ellie’s hedge at now wasn’t her choice with her own voice cracking, just is so so so telling. She could lie, she could really work at burning this relationship in a blaze of glory but she doesn’t, she owns up to the fact that she didn’t purposefully choose now (aka right when they were starting to figure things out between them), she’s not pulling the strings. Nick coming back with so you had a choice is like the little 5 year old boy whose dad is walking out on him again and it just HURTS. And at the same time Ellie is also the young, insecure agent right now who just wants to prove herself. She wants to be viewed as “ready” and the man whose opinion she bases way too much of her self-worth in didn’t say he was proud of her until she was upending her career to go on some deep cover op where she ditches everyone important in her life.

“How long?” “Too long.” Yeah ok FUCK ME. They both know exactly what they’re talking about without even saying the actual words. Ellie’s voice cracks once again because of the emotion in Nick’s voice and what he’s implying. It pains her to leave him and what they’re becoming behind. It viscerally hurts her, you can see it on her face. She doesn’t want it to be too long, but she knows it will be. She can’t fathom that he’d stay or wait for her, she doesn’t think she even deserves that.

Tbh it’s so hard to put this all into words. To fully convey to you how angry and hurt I am over this shit. Ellie’s being manipulated and hurt that she has to burn this bridge and push Nick as far away from her as possible. She thinks its her only out and what should be expected of her based off her conversation with Gibbs because then she parrots his exact words back at Nick when he begs, literally begs her to say something after she was willing to leave without saying goodbye (which we know is because she didn’t think she was going to be able to look Nick in the eye and still go through with it all), “sometimes there’s nothing left to be said” like fuck you Gibbs for planting that in her head. There’s PLENTY left to be said. Clearly Nick was not pleased you blew him off Ellie, he wants you to say anything that would make this make sense (we all are tbh) and she says you know my *favorite* line, “I didn’t mean for us to happen.” Nick is all of us with his “something else” because WHAT THE FUCK. This is how I know Ellie was going full throttle with her strategy of pushing Nick away. This was the one thing she could say that would hit hardest for Nick. The man who is insecure about anyone truly loving him and him being a person deserving of a love that “stays” and for Ellie to say she didn’t mean to fall in love and even though they did she’s still going to leave because it was never in the plan, just damn, stab him in the back and twist that knife Ellie. And just like her body language this WHOLE TIME 💀💀💀 she’s just shaking her head because she doesn’t even believe her own words, she doesn’t want to confront this, she doesn’t want to end this. There’s tears in her eyes because everything she’s saying is a lie and it hurts it hurts so damn much but she has to. She’s been manipulated into believing she has to do this, has to say these things. And his body language too, I mean he is tight. He is standing so rigid, hands clasped behind his back because he’s trying to convey openness and vulnerability and it’s so much growth for Nick, so much growth and Ellie is still ripping his heart out and stomping on it. And when she chokes out that goodbye you can hear and feel how final she believes it to be. She doesn’t think he’ll stick around or even want to. In this vein I think she underestimates his love for her here. And if the show goes a different way with it, they’re little bitches. It is in character for Nick to do everything in his power and outside of the rules to find & save Ellie. I will riot if I don’t see unhinged Nick some point early in s19 (I say like I’m going to watch religiously), because that is the only logical reaction to her leaving like this.

The kiss. It’s a beautiful fucking kiss and it’s ruined by context. It’s an emotional kiss, Ellie throws her body behind it, gripping his face with both hands because she doesn’t want to let him go (even though she’s going to), she clutches to this memory like she clutches to his face. Nick’s clenched expression because he doesn’t want to open his heart up to more heartbreak but when he leans into the kiss and gives the kiss back you know he’s a goner. And maybe a part of him doesn’t care because this may be his last memory of her for a long time and he’s going to burn it into his memory too. It’s why he keeps his eyes shut after she’s left for so long, he doesn’t want to open them and the reality of her retreating back be the last thing he sees of Ellie. He wants the kiss to be the last thing, he doesn’t want to face his reality. His hands had even come out from behind his back, reaching out to her subconsciously willing her not to leave. Meanwhile, Ellie opens her eyes for that last kiss on the cheek to get one last long look at Nick, one last look that will hold her over for who knows how long. A look at his vulnerable face, a face she loves. A look that she hopes will keep her warm at night even though she knows she’ll never get it this close to her again because there’s no way in hell that Nick would entertain the thought of them together again after what she’s done. She doesn’t look back because she can’t. She can’t see Nick’s wounded face just standing there, broken or she won’t go. And Nick tries to stand resolute, the anger and pain flashing across his face before he grits his teeth together and *hopefully* resolves to find Odette and kill her I mean save Ellie I mean kill Odette 🙊

Anyways, there’s only a very specific way this entire finale makes sense. And I know Emily’s pregnancy threw it for a loop, but they can still SOMEWHAT fix this. Do I think they will? Hell fucking no. I have zero expectations, in fact negative expectations. I have a feeling what we were supposed to see is Nick going on an absolute swan rampage to find Ellie and clear her name throughout the first couple episodes of s19 and with Emily leaving the show, I’m not sure how they’ll twist this. I can see why they thought this was a fun cliffhanger because it would eventually be resolved and I do believe they would’ve eventually gotten ellick together after Nick found her. But unless Emily comes back at the end of the show, that won’t happen, at least not on screen. And with that I just 🥲 I’m still mad, I’m still broken inside but yeah. I’m a masochist before anything else apparently and so I made myself rewatch and write this out. A bittersweet pissed off adieu to the WWR. maybe one day i’ll find another ship & show that gets this level of meta out of me, but it’s been real ellick, it’s been really real ❤️

#ncis #ellick #wwr #anti gibbs #seriously do not read if you like gibbs #this is your warning and if you send me hate anon for my take after i warned you you're asking for it #6k of 3 months of emotions right here on the day of the premiere #truly bittersweet to say goodbye to the wwr in such a shitty way #if there's even people still reading/following along #thank you ❤️

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knchins · 3 years

Text

Hunger - Todoroki S.

Summary: Todoroki Shouto doesn’t want to follow the footsteps of his father. On the brink of starvation, he hears the call of a witch who finds a way to fulfill both of their needs.

Pairing: Incubus!Shouto x Witch!Reader

Rating: E+

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Sm*t, v*ginal fingering, v*ginal s*x, oral s*x, c*nnilingus, choking, some mentions of (consensual) breeding, soft!dom Shouto, some begging ig, some mentions of sugar daddy/baby, Shouto is several centuries old and is of age, oh and some fluff

Notes: This was my very first request I think??? I got it months ago lol so idk if this person if even still following me RIP. But I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope they enjoy it wherever they are <3 I did deviate a little bit but not TOO much.Censored words is so I can show up in the gd tags.

Dealing with demons had become sort of a pastime for her, the young witch living in the secluded wood out in the countryside. She greatly enjoyed the remoteness, though sometimes it did come to a great disadvantage. Travelers would come, asking for potions or spell-work, something to help them with their troubles in life. As a grey witch (one who practiced both white and black magic), she tended to be able to help just about anyone with anything. Of course there were a few lines she wouldn’t cross such as raising the dead or directly causing death. She did have some morals after all, albeit somewhat controversial ones.

Whenever she needed an item that she simply had no access to, then she would call upon demons to aid her in her work. The first couple times she had been a little reluctant and she would be lying if she didn’t say she had a few close calls, but ultimately demons could be bartered with just as humans could. The lower leveled ones were rarely smart enough to outwit her or ask for something she just couldn’t give. So far, dealings were good and they only became better when she met him.

On the fourth or fifth time she called out for help, this time she needed a rare desert root for a drying spell, she followed the same procedure as always. She lit her candles, drew a summoning sigil on the floor, and chanted the words that would bring her the closest demonic being that felt the urge to heed her call. She specifically did it in a way that powerful demons would not be attracted. In fact, she would much prefer to keep them away for they were much smarter and more conniving, and ultimately not worth the risk. This time though...this time someone with a little more juice than what she normally found herself bargaining with appeared before her.

Todoroki Shouto was an incubus with the most prestigious lineage of any sex demon that resided in hell. His father was known by all demonic beings. He was number one in his class, The closest to king that anyone of them could truly be. He had also fathered more children than any other demon, enjoying ruining human women to the point that they could no longer be satisfied by mortal men. Shouto found it distasteful. The way Enji wold flux his hormones so that any woman within a few hundred feet would simply beg for him to fuck her, to breed her, to make her his. He had more half-siblings than he could count in addition to the three full-blooded ones. His mother had also been a high class demon with a pedigree, though her whereabouts were currently unknown.

He was minding his own business, taking a nice walk through the woods in the mortal realm when he heard the call. There was a tugging sensation on his chest and a melodic voice ringing in his ears. It was not a call for someone like him. Someone capable of such true power. Yet, something drew him in. Something about that voice had his interest piqued. He couldn’t resist answering her quickly, less some other demon came to her first.

He appeared before her, hair split down the middle perfectly. One half red like his father’s, the other white as his mother’s. One dark grey eye and another a brilliant blue, his white button-down shirt loose fitting with a few top buttons undone to show off his chest. If he wanted to lure in the opposite sex then he could with ease, but Todorki Shouto had a secret. One that made him much less powerful than he could be.

The witch was taken aback by the demon in front of her. He was certainly the most handsome she had ever seen, most lower level ones were not very pleasing to look at. It made them easier to deal with. Her curious eyes blinked as if to make sure he was really there. Immediately she could sense that something was off about him. Something wasn’t quite right, however she could not pinpoint what it was.

Shouto regretted answering the call immediately. The witch he had been summoned by was possibly the most beautiful creature he’d ever set eyes on. She was pure beauty and grace, more stunning than anyone residing in hell or earth. In fact, part of him wondered if maybe she was an angel. However the various bottles of herbs and assorted animal parts quickly led him to believe that she was not divine. She was simply mortal and in need of help.

“Oh an incubus.” She said, still looking very bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “What a surprise. I’m not sure if you can help me or not. You’re a little out of my league.” The last part seemed like a joke but Shouto wasn’t entirely sure.

“Why did you call for me here?” He asked calmly, his face perfectly blank though his eyes were fixated on her.

“I’m in need of something for a spell.” She said honestly, “Sometimes I call upon demons to help me gather items I cannot easily get.”

“Is that not dangerous?” He asked, starting to look more intrigued than anything. “Do you not worry about your safety?”

The witch let out a nervous laugh, “Well, lower levels ones aren’t much of a problem for me. You’re a bit more than I’m used to. I’m surprised you even heard it honestly.”

Shouto knew immediately why he heard it. Because as it stood, his power level was that of some lower tier demon. He had only fed twice since coming of age. His hunger was almost maddening. It had been eating away at him for decades. But he would not be his father. He would not be a glutton for sex and breeding. He refused to follow in his very heavy footsteps.

“I was simply within range.” He said, though she knew that him happening to be close by to her didn’t really mean much. The spell was designed to not be heard by anyone over a certain power level. Could an incubus really be below that? “What do you need?”

“A root.” She replied, flipping through one of the many of her family’s grimoires. She found the page that had a drawn picture, name, and general description. “This one.”

“You’re doing a drying spell.” He said out loud by mistake. He knew because he had had this particular spell cast on him many times throughout the years, though recently it seemed to be working less and less. It was to dry up sexual desire. It was one of the few things that helped him get by so long without feeding. Without it he would have been driven insane by lust many decades ago.

The witch cocked her head at him curiously, “yes, I am. For a client. She’s tired of having children but her husband just won’t stay off of her. She’s hoping it’ll get him to stop.” She paused for a moment, “Can you get it?”

“Yes.” he replied dumbly, as if it were totally obvious.

“What is your price?” She asked then, realizing he didn’t catch the implied question.

Shouto thought for a moment, it was about time to recast the spell judging by the lecherous thoughts that were starting to cross his mind. “Can you perform another one?”

She looked perplexed for a moment before it dawned on her why he heard her incantation. He was starved. And he must have been for some time too. “I can but I think I can do something else for you that will be much more beneficial.”

“And what is that?” Shouto asked, wondering if perhaps there was another spell or potion out there that was more powerful and thus would be more effective.

“Just have sex with me.”

That was how it started. Any time the young witch needed something, she’d do a more specific summoning spell, one that only Shouto could hear. And every time he’d come, no matter what he was doing, to aid her. She would often jokingly call him her demonic sugar daddy because he provided everything for her for the low low price of coitus.

The first couple times had been a little awkward. Shouto’s abilities were almost dormant. He fumbled his way about her body which was quite embarrassing for a sex demon. However after a few practice rounds the two truly began to find what got the other off the most. And in half a dozen sessions Shouto was feeling power, but with power came hunger.

When he appeared before her hearth one night, without an invitation, the woman nearly threw an old vase full of nightshade at him in terror. She only put it down when she realized it wasn’t just any random intruder, but her newfound lover. She hadn’t needed anything in quite some time now. Hadn’t called on him because business had been rather slow and the jobs she did get, she didn’t need anything from him. Perhaps it was a little cruel of her to not call on him regardless, but she honestly did not know how much his appetite had grown. How it began to consume him until all he could think about was her, naked and writhing beneath him as he pounded into her. He craved her and only her. It was not something that ever really happened to Incubi. After all they could have anyone they wanted. But he didn’t want anyone else. He only had eyes for her.

“Shouto.” She breathed out, heart still racing as she set down the clay vase. “I wasn’t expecting you, did you need something?”

His eyes were fiery as he stepped towards her and she could smell the faint scent of hell on him. She wondered if maybe he had another argument with his father. He had told her a little about his family life during post-sex cuddles. It wasn’t much but she knew he hated the demon that sired him. He always seemed to be wound extra tight after coming straight from hell, and that was usually the reason.

“Go bend your ass over the bed.” He said, further unbuttoned the flowy shirt he typical wore. Her eyes grew wide, embarrassment heating her face as she took a small step away from him. It wasn’t really out of fear, just a simple reflex. He never really got demanding of her like this, maybe something was wrong.

But the warmth pooling between her legs told her that despite the interruption, despite having not planned this whatsoever, hearing him order her to get into the bedroom had her flooding with desire, and he could smell it.

Shouto didn’t really have to use his pheromones to seduce her. He was naturally attractive and had a body that looked as if it had been sculpted out of marble. No, he never used them before but he was definitely using them now and they had her weak in the knees as she trembled. She walked on shaky legs into her bedroom, keeping her thighs pressed together as she walked in an attempt to hide the wetness that was accumulating in her panties. It was pointless though. He could always tell.

He left his shirt in the living room and kicked off his boots on his way to the bedroom. He lost his pants at the entryway, watching as she leaned over the side of the bed and resting on her forearms. Her eyes large and doe-like at the rush of adrenaline. Sex with with a sex demon was always an unforgettable experience. It was easy to see how people went mad over it. The way he made her feel, the orgasms he gave her, none of it compared to any other lover she had ever had. Perhaps that was one reason why she had been so willing to listen to him just now. She knew he’d make her feel good, and who didn’t like to feel good?

Shouto padded over, dropping to his knees behind her as he pushed her skirt up over her ass so that the fabric could bunch at her waist. His nimble fingers hooked around the elastic of her panties and he slid them down with an odd amount of carefulness. He practically buried his nose into her sex, inhaling that sweet scent of arousal that had him feeling absolutely feral. His tongue came to prod at her clit, causing a small whimpering sound to come from her.

He dragged his tongue over every inch of her pussy, savoring it fully until she was a quivering mess with shaking knees that threatened to make her fall down. “Let me breed you.” He said between kitten licks. “You can have anything in return.”

They had been using protection until then. Sex demons were incredibly fertile and typically had no trouble creating offspring. But at the time when this started, Shouto didn’t want to sow his wild oats like his father had. This witch had him wanting to throw all of that to the wind. He just didn’t care. That drive to fuck without any sort of barrier was maddening.

Anything from a demon was a very big price tag, and Shouto had never tried to deceive her. He had never been anything other than honest. And despite all her teachers to never trust a demon, she found herself trusting him. Every time their bodies intertwined she fell more and more in love, no matter how much she had tried to resist. She had thought some distance would have helped ease her feelings, but apparently it had been hard on both of them.

“Y-yes,” She gasped out as he latched onto her clit to suck, “Ple-please, Shouto, fill me with your cum.” She was gripping the old quilt on her bed tightly to try and keep herself grounded, but the way he was eating her out, two lithe fingers now dipping into her dripping core made it impossible to even think straight. All she could think about was her simple need to have him inside of her.

He didn’t stop working his fingers or tongue until she hit her first peak, moaning out for him in a way that had him nearly cumming prematurely. The strain in his underwear was painful now as he throbbed with need. After one long lick along her slit he stood up, grabbing onto the globes of her ass for pretend support.

“Tell me what you want me to do, Little Witch.” He said as he pulled down his briefs and kicked them away as if they were the most offensive thing in the world to him. “You’re shaking like you want to say something. So say it.”

“I need you,” She said, somehow sounding out of breath despite not having done anything besides orgasm. “Shouto, I need you so much.” He wrapped one hand around his cock, pumping in slowly as he watched her continue to tremble. “Please fuck me!”

The amount of lust he was feeling for this one mortal woman was dizzying. No one had ever told him that one person could have this kind of effect on a demon. Neither his father nor his two older brothers. Was it that far fetched to think that something was happening to him that had never happened to them before? They all had a primal drive for sex but never towards one specific person. Shouto found that he desired no one else in any of the realms. He only wanted her.

He pushed it without any hesitation, feeling her tense suddenly at his thickness stretching her out. He watched with fascination as he disappeared inside of her cunt, the warm, wet feeling enveloping him like summer rain. “Fuck,” He couldn’t stop himself from cursing and just how amazing it felt to be inside her. It was like taking that first breath of fresh air after being held underwater for an extended period of time. It was so damn freeing.

The witch relaxed against the mattress, her eyes closed to focus on that beautiful feeling of him completing her with his cock. Shouto took hold of her hips to keep her upright and steady as he pulled out slowly before bottoming out all over again, her slick making for the best lubricant as he moved with ease.

It started slow. Shouto wanted to revel in the heat. He wanted to drink in the feeling of her walls clamping down around him. The sound of her tiny whimpers when he pushed all the way in after pulling out. But this was much too slow for her, she couldn’t handle such a torturous rhythm. Shouto had eternity but his little mortal did not. Her time was limited and the thought of that made his heart suddenly ache.

“F-Faster,” She dared to mumble to him, sometimes he’d punish her if she begged too much. If she didn’t let him enjoy himself properly. Today was not one of those days though. Today Shouto wanted to hear her cry for his cock.

So he obliged, increasing his pace as his fingers dug into the flesh of her hips. His witch began to moan even louder as he hit that sweet spot again and again, making her dizzy with ecstasy. She never lasted long when it came to sex with Shouto, something he took great pride in. He loved nothing more than to give her multiple orgasms.

But this view just wasn’t doing it for him. He pulled out abruptly, making her cry at the sudden emptiness. He flipped her over onto her back, ripping at her blouse so that it was torn wide open for him. Then he tugged down her bra to free her breasts before reinserting himself into her. He watched her face contort with pleasure, the glossy look in her eyes as he began to pound into her at a relentless pace. The hypnotizing way her tits bounced with every thrust, they were just so perfectly in sync with one another. It was the definition of beauty.

Shouto brought a thumb to her clit, lightly pressing on it in a way that had her clamping down on him even more. It was as if she was trying to suck him in deeper, never wanting to be without him again. He grunted at this sensation, eyes burning with lust as her mouth made that perfect “o” formation with her eyes rolling back as her second orgasm overcame her.

He never talked much during sex, choosing to be a silent observer. Every now and then he’d give a command or order, but that was about it. He had never been much one for dirty talk like his father or eldest brother. The witch was fine with this. He made it hard enough for her to think without adding the pressure of comprehending something as complex as language.

Just when she thought he might be coming to his end, he increased his pace even more. She whined, still feeling incredibly sensitive from the first two orgasms. At least he had the decency to take his thumb from her aching clit. Instead he reached up and wrapped his hand around her bare throat, squeezing just enough to lessen the flow of oxygen and blood to her brain.

She gasped for air, her moans less audible now as air came out in strangled puffs. He would loosen just enough to give her a small break before tightening back up again. She grabbed at his wrist, and he waited for her sign that it was too much. A double tap anywhere on his body with her pointer and middle finger, or their safe word if she could manage it was all he needed to tell him that he’d gone too far. But neither came and so he continued to abuse her pussy with a pace so fast no human could possibly keep up, and only when she was screaming his name a third time did he finally release himself.

Shouto came inside her for the very first time. Normally he pulled out even with a condom on. He really wanted to take no risk. This time, this time he had to claim her as his somehow. If any other demon were to come to her then then they’d smell him all over her. They’d think twice before crossing a Todoroki, that was just how well known his family was.

He removed his hand from her neck, before leaning down to kiss it softly. His nose nuzzled the underside of her jaw in a way that might have appeared to be loving if either of them knew what that word really meant. Her heavy breathing slowly calmed down, delicate fingers squeezing his biceps with care. A simple sign to tell him that she was alright and that he did good. She had found that sometimes he needed encouragement. Sometimes he wasn’t as confident as he pretended to be. But small reassurances were really all he needed to bounce back to normal.

“Can you stay the night?” She mumbled. Any time she asked, any time she was feeling particularly weak for him, he would turn her down. Saying he had other things to do. Saying it just wouldn’t be proper. Making any excuse he could.

This time Shouto did not move from on top of her. His mound clouded with the afterglow of such an intense orgasm. He knew then that he’d do anything for her. Anything at all. And because of that realization he hummed back a simple affirmative. He’d stay as long as she would have him.

#todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto #todoroki x reader #shouto x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #bnha #mha #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #todoroki shouto imagine #bnha requests

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bookofmirth · 3 years

Note

Feyre or the inner circle (I forgot who it was that did it) giving Lucien rules on how he could or couldn’t be around Elain seemed strange to me.

At first, I thought it made sense. To give Elain some space and not force her to socialize with new people but once Lucien met her in the library on accident and feyre went into his mind and saw that he wasn’t going to do anything bad for her sister I don’t know why they didn’t ease up on him being around her.

Also, when Azriel would take her out to the garden without asking anyone made me question why they had such strict rules on Lucien. I’m not saying that azriel should have had to ask anyone to see if he could take her anywhere but i feel like if they gave Lucien the trust then maybe Elain and Lucien could have already have talked about the bond.

(Sorry I’m really bad at explaining my random rambling thoughts)

The way the IC treats Lucien is so strange and so gd annoying to me. They treat him the same way they treated Nesta, only they feel like they have to play fake nice because of his important. And Lucien has never done anything to make them doubt his trust so they don't even have reason to be like that.

Like when Mor said that they can't trust him. What? Just because he has friends who aren't you? It makes sense coming from Mor because she is Night Court through and through, and there are few, if any, other fae who are able to move so freely from one court to another in the way that Lucien is. The High Fae seem to be much more territorial than that, usually. But he hasn’t done anything to make them think they can’t trust him?

It's just so hypocritical to me for Feyre and Rhys to assume that Lucien is going to act out of pocket because of the mating bond when all of his behaviors mirror Rhys's own. Rhys let Feyre be with Tamlin, didn't interfere until she was desperate and asked for it. Lucien has let Elain live her life and only shows up on holidays when he is asked to visit. And like you mentioned, Feyre went into his mind and saw that, despite the pull of the mating bond, his primary emotion towards Elain was concern. Longing for sure. But she literally saw (probably for the benefit of the reader haha) that Lucien had no plans to kidnap or manipulate or whatever they think could happen.

It makes sense that they would "let" Elain be alone with Az; the main thing with Elain and Lucien is the mating bond. Because there isn't one between Az and Elain, no problem. She can be alone with Cassian and Rhys, too.

But speaking of them "letting" Elain be alone with different people... I wonder if their over-protectiveness has way more to do with Elain than it does Lucien. Maybe they all just assume that Elain is too fragile and delicate to handle being around her mate and his mate boner. Even though Feyre, and now Nesta, know exactly how great the mate boner can be. It would make sense considering how everyone has coddled Elain their whole lives. Maybe they are assuming that Elain is still too fragile, and Elain isn't sure yet what she wants, and so they have all ended up in this sort of limbo?

#lucien #the ic #acotar #ask #anon #elucien #elain

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butwhatifidothis · 3 years

Text

Shortened Lifespan: Edelgard vs Lysithea

Now, technically, I’ve already made a post like this before, but I wanted it to be it’s own thing (brought about by a mutual tagging a post of mine and me wanting to go more into depth with it lol).

It’s been very widely accepted by the fandom that Edelgard and Lysithea both go through the expectation of living a shortened life due to the blood experiments done to them, with this partly being used as part of the defense/reasoning for Edelgard going to war instead of doing something more peaceful. She thinks she’s on a timer, like Lysithea, so she hard-starts change to work around her short-lived clock. Makes sense, on the surface.

But like I’ve mentioned on here before, I personally just can’t buy it. Nothing besides the immediate connection of “Edelgard and Lysithea both went through experimentation” suggests that Edelgard has the same shortened lifespan that Lysithea is suffering through.

More under the cut

One thing that immediately stands out, to me, are the differences between their stat spreads and growths (focusing on stats on this post).

Here are Edelgard’s (note: Statues not applied - add five to the stats if you want the true max values):

They are extremely good, especially for a default armor unit. Str and especially Mag are very high, average Dex and Spd (though notably good for an armor unit), good Def, amazing Charm. Her Luck and Res are the only things that are even kinda bad - it’d more accurate to say they’re below average, tho again, 47 Res on an armor unit is fairly high. In fact, of the units that lean towards armor, Edelgard has the highest Res, and even beats out some units that aren’t armor-leaning such as Claude and Felix. Even her seemingly low HP (for an armor) is mitigated by the fact that it’s still some of the highest for a female unit overall (the fifth highest, beat out by Petra, Rhea, Manuela, and Hilda)

What are Lysithea’s, in contrast? (blacked out everyone above her for easier reading):

...Uh. Yeah. In contrast to Edelgard’s far more even spread, Lysithea’s are skewed to fuck. The best Mag in the game and the second highest Dex (losing only to Claude’s 89), and some nice Spd, sure, but everything else takes an extremely large hit. 48 HP is the lowest in the game, pitiful Str and Def, and mediocre Luck, Res, and Charm. This girl is held together by toothpicks, Elmer’s glue, and God’s mercy.

So right off the bat, there’s a huge difference between the two of them in this regard, but I decided to go even further; just how off are Lysithea’s stats, actually? Some things make sense, like low Str and Def, so how different is she compared to others in her class type (magic users).

The magic users of the following factions have the Str stat underlined. First, BE:

BL:

GD:

CoS:

From what we can see, 30 Str isn’t actually out of the norm for a female magic user. The outliers are Rhea and Manuela with their Str in the low 50′s being not just the highest of the women, but of all the main magic users period, though part of that could be contributed to their age (vs Hanneman who is both older - in terms of physical age at least - and who does not focus on physical strength like someone like Gilbert) (Rhea being an older Nabatean could also attribute to this - notice Seteth’s stat spread which also has notably high Mag for a Wyvern Rider unit and Flayn’s, who is younger and who also had only recently woken from a centuries long sleep that she fell into after nearly dying, more odd spread). Following them for the women is Annette, who as we know lugs around a giant axe (Crusher’s weight is 11, making it heavier than most swords and bows and a good few lances - fun fact, it’s heavier than Areadbhar!) which likely lends to her having above average Str for her gender and unit type combination

Now, here’s the fun part: let’s look at the same unit’s Res stats

BE:

BL:

GD:

CoS:

Here’s where an interesting pattern shows up that’s fairly consistent: if a magic unit has bad Str, they have good/great Res to compensate, and vice versa. Annette’s above average Str (remember, for what she is) coincides with her bad Res, same as Manuela’s, and all the magic units with their ass Str have at least a respectable Res to go along with it. The only ones who break this rule are Rhea, due to her Str and Mag being fairly even with a lean towards magic (and also not being playable lol)... and Lysithea. Who has both a shit Str and shit Res stat. Even amongst her magical peers, Lysithea still stands out as particularly fragile and physically weak.

HOWEVER

Do note, for all of the above in terms of going over stats, that they aren’t necessarily the best indicator of anything in particular when it comes to a character; there is no version of me in the multiverse that will ever believe Manuela is stronger than Rhea or that Lorenz has the same amount of stamina as Dimitri, for example. But it is something to note when looking at Edelgard and Lysithea, due to them going through the same experiments and yet one is very clearly doing better in terms of damn near everything and the other very clearly lagging behind in damn near everything

Moving on, we have their Banes and Boons. Edelgard’s Boons are Axes, Swords, Heavy Armor, and Authority, with Banes in Faith and Bows. Of note, Edelgard will say in a Study Request that she believes it is her specifically having two Crests that allows her to be able to shrug on armor like it’s nothing, and her defaulting to an armor class with an axe as her default weapon makes her the literal heaviest she could theoretically be. On top of that, her Banes point to nothing about her physical health hindering her ability to do physically laborious feats.

Lysithea, on the other hand, has Boons in Faith, Reason, and Authority, with Banes in Swords, Lances, Axes, Heavy Armor, as well as Clearing Rubble as a Group Task activity. She has a budding talent in Swords - the lightest of the weapons she’s bad at and some of the lightest weapons in the game - that gives her access to a Combat Art that lets her use something other than Str to give Mt to her sword-based attack. Lysithea, in terms of Banes and Boons when compared to Edelgard (or anyone, really), is very clearly unable to do physically demanding things very well - it’s something she’s actively bad at doing and is a consistent fact about her that crops up in not just her stats and Banes and Boons, but also her supports. Edelgard’s situation is the same.

Edelgard has her supports with Ferdinand, as well as Ferdinand’s supports with Byleth, that showcase her being exceptionally good at combat in terms of physical fighting (as in, no magic, and having a talent in doing feats that would require a good amount of stamina). She beats Ferdinand in combat with one strike, and she is able to take on a Demonic Beast by herself while still fresh in the academy. There are no mentions of her being winded or tired from fighting, and she is more than once praised for her battle prowess.

Lysithea, meanwhile, has at least three supports (Byleth, Lorenz, Cyril) that indicate less than stellar stamina, health, and strength (she straight up faints in Byleth’s supports). While characters looking out for her health can maybe be somewhat attributed to her being one of the youngest students in the cast, the difference between and, say, Cyril, who’s even younger than her, is that she genuinely shows signs of ill health when she pushes herself too far, vs Cyril who is fine even with how much he works. When talking about her prowess in battle it is only ever in regards to her magical capabilities, not anything else, and she is seen constantly working on those capabilities.

And then lastly, there are their endings.

Edelgard has no endings that mention needing to be rid of her Crests - save one, which will be looked at in a bit. In particular, she has an ending with Hubert that indicates she lives on to her “later years,” which is usually attributed to a fairly old age. It is not, in this case, referring to Edelgard’s specific later years (for example, a person who lives to 30 can say their mid-twenties was the later years of their life), because it specifically says that she and Hubert live to their later years, which more likely points towards a longer life.

Lysithea in contrast has multiple endings that either has her and/or her lover actively looking for means to get rid of Lysithea’s Crests, or explicitly say that she dies young. There’s... not much more to add to that lmao

But! There is one ending with Edelgard that mentions her getting rid of her Crests, and it even says they restore her lost time! That’s proof positive, isn’t it?

Well, funnily enough, this is her ending with Lysithea that mentions this, and it... appears to be straight up incorrectly translated. As has been pointed out by others, the JPN ending doesn’t specifically mention restoring their lifespans, it simply says Edelgard and Lysithea “discovered a way to exchange the crest’s power for the restoration of a lost lifespan.” While, if we look at the surface level “Edelgard and Lysithea both had Crests implanted into them” similarity, it makes sense to attribute this restoration to the both of them, looking at everything else leans towards this statement mostly being for Lysithea. Which, given that this is the only ending - or really, the only place period - Edelgard has that even mentions her wanting to be rid of her Crest, let alone actively working towards it, it makes sense that this isn’t for her.

Now, all of the above isn’t directly pointing towards anything - it’s a lot of speculation, since nothing about Edelgard herself having a short life is ever explicitly said in the game. But when looking at all of the differences between Lysithea and Edelgard, when looking at how badly Lysithea stacks against everyone else vs how amazing Edelgard stacks, at how often dying young is mentioned with Lysithea vs Edelgard, at how much Lysithea focuses on her lifespan vs Edelgard, I personally just can’t believe that they’re similarly afflicted with a shortened life.

There’s almost nothing in the game to suggest that other than the one thing they have in common, which is the experiments themselves - if they do, then Edelgard simply doesn’t care as much about it as Lysithea, and/or it isn’t nearly to the extent of Lysithea, to the point where she feels no need to mention it anywhere. And this is the same character that brings up her ten dead siblings in the first support with the player character, so something as big as “oh yeah and I’m going to die relatively soon and young” feels like something she would similarly mention as something one should know about her, which she doesn’t. This seems, to me, to be just a popular fan theory that isn’t really all that supported in the game itself.

#Lysithea #Lysithea (fire emblem)#Edelgard #Edelgard (Fire Emblem)#exqueuese me princess #can this be considered meta?#to be 100% clear: this is my opinion based on what's in the game #all good if you don't agree!

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sindrafalcone · 3 years

Text

Double Combo

Fandom: BIGBANG/ Choi Seunghyun x reader x Kwon Jiyong

Synopsis: Yeah, you read that right…

Warnings: Smut… lots and lots of unapologetic smut (with just a little fluff, because I’m a romantic sap at heart). Please don’t read if you’re not 18+! Also, this is not a GTOP fic. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, you just won’t find it here.

Author’s Note: I started writing this as just a story for myself years ago. Then my #1 decided to confess to me that she was having trouble with GD creeping into her Ultimate Bias spot. Naturally, I felt like I had to finish this & share it with her. Here you go @andperset, hopefully you like it. <3

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

Masterlist

When you woke up early Saturday morning the first thing you noticed was a pair of strong arms gathered around your waist and soft breathing against the left side of your head. Glancing down, you also saw what looked to be a black mess of hair resting on your chest. In your groggy post-sleep haze, you blearily realized that you had not only one, but two men lying naked next to you, one on either side. You tried your best to recall the previous night’s events. It took you a few moments, but then you came to the sobering realization that these weren't just any two random strangers in bed with you. Oh no... you were completely surrounded by none other than Kwon Jiyong and Choi Seunghyun, Kpop's notorious rapper kings.

Your vague memories of the previous night slowly started to come back. You remembered getting ready at your apartment; carefully styling your hair and applying the perfect seductive makeup, slipping into a strapless red dress accompanied by a pair of killer black heels. You remembered arriving the hottest club in Seoul, and you vividly remembered the burn of the four shots of tequila you slammed back in quick succession at the bar. You remembered making your way out to the middle of the dance floor & the pair of strong hands that landed on your hips from behind... the heated gaze you met from another man across the crowded room. Oh yeah... it was all coming back to you now. There in bed, sandwiched between two gloriously naked men, how could you ever forget what had happened the night before? It was easily one of the best nights of your life.

______________________________________________

It had been a rough week for you, both at work and personally. All you had wanted was a break... a night of fun where you could let loose and forget about the real world for a while.

That was how you found yourself in the middle of the dance floor, carelessly swaying from side to side to the beat of the music. Your hands slid teasingly down the length of your body, the hem of your skin-tight dress riding up ever so slightly with every seductive rock of your hips. Your eyes were closed as you continued to dance, trying to lose yourself in the rhythm and the familiar buzz of alcohol. You were so caught up in the moment that you didn’t even realize a man had moved up behind you until you felt a pair of masculine hands grab you by the waist. Usually when this type of thing happened you would step away, not wanting to be groped by some random stranger.

But this week had been horrible and, propriety be damned, you were looking to have some fun tonight. The tequila in your system helped you to not over-think the situation. So you leaned back into him, raising one hand to wrap around the back of his neck as you began to grind back against him. His hold on your waist tightened as the man pulled you closer and started to move along with you. You could feel him hardening against your backside which only served to heighten your own arousal. One of his hands disappeared from your hip and you found yourself momentarily disappointed before he deftly swept your hair to the side and began placing open mouthed kisses along your neck. Your eyes were still closed and you reveled in the sensation of his soft lips on your overheated skin.

When he unexpectedly sucked on your pulse point, your eyes flew open as a gasp escaped your lips. Eyes roaming the crowd as you attempted to focus, you were surprised to find a man at the bar, watching you. No... watching both of you. You locked eyes with him as he slowly began to make his way towards where you were on the floor, his gaze never once leaving yours. It struck you just how much he looked like a wolf stalking its prey & you were more than willing to be the proverbial lamb in this case.

The closer he got, the better you could make out his face. He was attractive. Sexy. With piercing eyes and a chiseled jaw that you wanted to feel against your inner thighs as you rode his face. You groaned at the sudden erotic thought, feeling yourself dampen even more.

The man behind you hadn’t stopped rocking his hips into your ass, letting you feel his impressive length through his pants. One of his hands moved to your front, pressing you more tightly to him and his lips ghosted up to your ear, nibbling until he sucked the lobe into his mouth.

The man from the bar had finally made his way through the dance floor and was currently standing right in front of you. Now that you were seeing him up close, you thought he looked familiar but it was difficult to tell through the haze of the alcohol. You'd know if you had met him before though, maybe he just had one of those faces. The kind of face that said ‘I’d bend you over the kitchen counter and fuck you senseless while your roommate was watching TV in the next room.’ Yeah, you would've definitely recognized a face like that.

He finally tore his gaze from you and instead focused his attention on the man behind you. He said something, but you couldn’t hear the words being spoken over the sound of the music. Were they going to fight over you? Try to decide which one of them was going to get to take you home? You didn’t like to think of yourself as some sort of prize to be won, but you were so turned on by this point that you honestly didn’t care which one of them you spent the night with, just as long as you didn't leave the club alone. But they couldn’t really be arguing over you, could they? You felt you were reasonably attractive, but you never imagined you'd be the type to illicit such a reaction out of two complete strangers.

You didn’t have any more time to try and make sense of the situation because the man from the bar gave a slight nod to the other guy before placing both hands on either side of your face. He tilted your head up ever so slightly before bringing his lips to yours, kissing you softly at first but with a building intensity that made you cling tightly to him as you kissed him back. You began to feel dizzy, both from the heat in the club & because of the two men. Did this mean he had won the testosterone battle? He must not have, because you could still feel the other man pressed up behind you, his arms wrapped tightly around your middle.

Holy shit...

Neither man had let up, which meant they must have come to some sort of agreement to share. You opened your mouth in shock and the guy from the bar took the opportunity to invade your mouth with his tongue. The one behind you continued to rock his hips and you felt a hand graze your breast —who it belonged to you had no idea—but you decided to stop thinking for once and just feel.

"Let’s take her back to your place, Ji." the guy behind you said, his mouth close enough to your ear that you could actually hear his deep voice over the noise.

'Ji?' The guy from the bar. Wait... they knew each other? What the hell was going on? You looked back and forth between the two men, trying to understand exactly what was happening. The man from the bar, Ji— you really hoped that was just some nickname—nipped playfully at your lower lip before looking at you and asking, “What’s your name?”

"It’s uhh...” your brain temporarily turned to mush by the look of pure lust on his face & he smirked. “I... I mean..." you took a deep breath to gather yourself. "My name’s _________." you answered firmly, slightly embarrassed by your momentary slip of the mind.

You heard a light chuckle from the man behind you."Beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” his voice rumbled, sending a shiver up your spine.

The man in front of you smiled at that, actually showing teeth this time. It only increased his attractiveness, if such a thing was even possible. You would have laughed at the clichéd line if you weren't so confused. And aroused...

“What do you say we get out of here?” Ji said, still grinning. “You, me, and Seunghyun. My place isn’t too far, just a few blocks away.”

"You want to take me home?” your voice squeaked despite itself. “Both of you? Together?”

"Jiyong and I would like to continue this in a place much more private... and comfortable." the man behind you explained patiently.

You stepped out of his embrace just far enough to get a better look at him. This was the first time you'd gotten a good look at the man whose length had been pressed against your backside all night. He was insanely handsome. Platinum silver hair and a boyish grin that probably brought all the ladies to their knees. Seunghyun. And Jiyong. Why did those names sound so familiar? You looked back and forth between the two, studying their faces.

You gasped in sudden recognition. No, they couldn’t possibly be…could they? But why would two of the richest, sexiest men in the music industry want to take you, of all women, home with them?

"Because the way you were moving was sexy as fuck and I’d like to see if you move the same way when I'm buried inside of you." Seunghyun all but growled the last part of that sentence and you couldn’t help the small moan that escaped your lips. You hadn’t meant to voice your thoughts out loud like that. It was a bad habit that had a tendency to happen when you were extremely nervous.

"And I really, really want to know what you taste like.” Jiyong spoke directly to you, not stopping there. "I want to feel the way your thighs shake when I suck your clit into my mouth. I want to taste you on my tongue. And most of all... I want to hear you scream.”

You were finding it hard to breathe. Hell, you were finding it hard to stand. You had to squeeze your thighs together after listening to them describe what they wanted to do. What they were going to do to you if you consented. Were you really considering this? You weren't opposed to the occasional one night stand and after the week you'd just had, hot sex with a complete stranger sounded amazing. But this...? Sleeping with two men at once? You wanted to. At that moment you couldn’t recall wanting anything more in your entire life. Seunghyun and Jiyong were both staring at you intently, waiting for you to answer. To hell with it...

You tried to speak, but it came out just above a whisper. Both men tilted their heads and looked at you, obviously not hearing what you had said.

Jiyong leaned down to speak in your ear, “Yes or no, ________?” The way he said your name caused you to pause for a moment, swallowing hard before replying.

"Yes." you finally managed to say more forcefully.

That’s all the guys needed to hear. A low groan escaped Jiyong's throat and he slid an arm around your waist, keeping you close to his side as Seunghyun took one of your hands and led you out of the crowd and into the parking lot.

____________________________________________

You took Jiyong's two seat Lamborghini, him behind the wheel and Seunghyun in the passenger seat with you sitting sideways in his lap, turned toward the drivers seat. Jiyong hadn’t even pulled out of the parking lot before Seunghyun started pinching your nipples through the fabric of your dress as he kissed and bit along the column of your throat. Not wanting to be left out, Jiyong took his right hand off the wheel and placed it on your inner thigh, wasting no time in finding the juncture between your legs. He was satisfied to find you already dripping wet as he stroked the outline of your folds through your silk panties, pulling a long breathy moan from your throat. Without warning he hooked a finger, pulled the scrap of fabric to the side & plunged a finger into you, causing you to buck against his hand. You started to move your hips faster, silently asking for more until another finger finally joined the first. A shout erupted from your throat and Seunghyun covered your lips with his, muffling the moans.

He released your mouth long enough to pull the top of your dress down, revealing your breasts to him and took a hardened nipple into his mouth, laving at it with his tongue. Jiyong continued to finger you at a maddening pace. It felt amazing. It felt more than amazing and you were quickly nearing your climax. You started moving your hips more desperately, chasing your release and then Seunghyun suddenly bit down on your breast and that’s all it took for you to come apart in his lap. Your moans filled the small space as you came around Jiyong's fingers. He didn’t stop his movements as he continued to stroke you through your first orgasm of the night. Damn... you’d never come that quickly before. You were slightly embarrassed, but the feeling quickly passed as you watched Jiyong remove his fingers and bring them up to his mouth, licking them clean, one at a time.

"Fuck, you taste so sweet."

You were still trying to catch your breath, pulling the top of your dress back up when Seunghyun turned your head towards him for a slow, languid kiss. He took his time as he moved his lips against yours & your hands wound around his neck, pulling him closer so you could deepen the kiss. He sucked your bottom lip into his mouth before licking across the seam of your lips, expertly opening you up to him. He was good at this. You felt like you could kiss him for hours. But not tonight... No, tonight you had other plans.

"I can’t wait to be inside you.” he rasped in your ear, and you could only nod your head in agreement.

"We’re here." Jiyong announced as he pulled into the parking lot of an expensive looking apartment complex downtown. You all climbed out of the car, you still in Seunghyun's arms before Jiyong came around the car and helped you to your feet. The three of you all but ran inside the lobby, Seunghyun desperately pressing the button for the elevator.

As soon as the doors slid shut, Jiyong had you backed up against the wall. He palmed your ass through your dress, raising your leg slightly so he could drag your slick core along the outline of the obvious hard on in his pants.

"Oh my god..." you keened, your back arching off of the wall. He rocked his hips forward and you both groaned at the contact. There were way too many layers between the two of you for your liking. You needed to feel him inside of you and it couldn't be soon enough. Suddenly the elevator doors opened and he took a step back, but not before he grabbed your hand. Jiyong all but dragged you toward his penthouse, Seunghyun's palm on the small of your back as he followed you down the hall and through the front door.

__________________________________________________

They both maneuvered around you with ease in a way that could only be described as choreographed. It was as if they had done this before. You belatedly realized that they probably had, several times in fact. You could picture them doing this with other women, attacking them like a tag team with equal precision. You had a fleeting thought that you should have been bothered by it, the fact that you were just another woman being used in their little game. But with Jiyong peeling off your dress, only stopping to suck a nipple between his lips and Seunghyun grabbing your panties, all but ripping them from between your legs, you really couldn’t find it in yourself to give a damn.

You managed to make your way into the master bedroom, a California king bed taking up most of the space. The two men eased you back onto the mattress. Jiyong followed suit, his hands ghosting up your thighs & slowly spreading your legs so that he could settle in between them. He placed soft kisses on your inner thighs, and you finally got to feel the delicious slide of his jaw as he made his way up to your center.

Seunghyun was watching on from the side of the bed, clothes already discarded on the floor, his hand stroking up and down his aching length. You beckoned him over to where you were spread out on the bed. He crawled over to where your head lay against the pillow, that boyish grin once again gracing his exquisite face. As you looked up at him, he rose to his knees, erection in his hand stoking lazily until you replaced his hand with your own. You smiled to yourself when you felt him twitch against your palm. You gripped his shaft, pumping up and down a few times before running your thumb across the head, spreading the moisture that had already gathered there. You licked up the side of him, from base to tip and then proceeded to take him into your mouth.

As soon as you closed your lips around the head you felt Jiyong sweep his tongue through your folds, flattening his tongue up until he reached your clit. He lightly sucked it into his mouth and you bucked your hips up, seeking more, but he placed a firm hand on your stomach, halting your movements as he continued to tease.

You then began to focus on Seunghyun. You sucked hard, swirling you tongue around the head. One hand continued to stoke his length & occasionally you would twist your wrist as your hand slid up and down. His hand made its way into your hair, gripping tightly. You took that as a cue and slid more of him into your mouth, Seunghyun began to slowly and carefully thrust into you. Your head was bobbing faster now, your tongue swirling around him and you had almost forgotten about Jiyong, but then his fingers joined his mouth and yeah, you were very aware of what he was doing now.

He continued to flick your clit with his tongue all while pumping two fingers into you, matching the rhythm that you were moving up and down Seunghyun's shaft. Jiyong pushed harder, and you wiggled your hips, trying to force his fingers deeper. He curled them, pressing up on your g-spot and you completely unraveled, Seunghyun falling from your mouth as cries of satisfaction left your throat, body overcome with pleasure.

You were trembling, chest heaving as you tried in vain to relax. Your face felt flushed and you were pretty sure a slight sheen of sweat already covered your entire body. You watched as Jiyong slowly began to make his way up to you, leaving soft kisses above your navel and between the valley of your breasts until he reached your mouth where he placed a chaste kiss on your lips. You could taste yourself on him & it was incredibly arousing.

"That was better than I imagined." he murmured against your mouth and pecked at your lips again.

Then he got off of the bed completely, moving to stand. He made his way to the bedside drawer, pulling out a pack of condoms.

You shook your head at him. “No.”

Both men stopped moving, eyes wide at your declaration. “No condoms.” you repeated firmly.

Concern washed over Jiyong's face before he spoke. “Are you sure?”

You nodded confidently. “I’m on the pill and I’m clean.” then you continued more softly, “...and I trust you.”

You heard Seunghyun's sharp inhale and saw the way Jiyong squared his shoulders & blew out a heavy breath from your confession. With one final look at you he dropped the pack of condoms back into the drawer.

You felt Seunghyun lean down next to you, whispering in your ear. “Get on your hands and knees.” You couldn't help but shiver at his sultry tone and quickly did as you were told.

You felt the bed dip as he moved behind you, his palms grabbing your ass before suddenly pulling away. The next thing you knew Seunghyun's hand came down, slapping your right cheek, hard.

"AHHHH!" you yelled in surprise, not prepared for the sting from his palm.

"God, that’s beautiful. Don’t you love that sound, Ji?" he said as he slapped your ass again, the loud sound of his palm hitting your flesh echoing in the room.

"Fuck yes..." Jiyong replied, his voice laced with arousal.

You looked over at him, watching as he stripped himself of his clothes, revealing his naked, tattooed form to you for the first time. Damn, he was built like a fucking work of art. Just the barest hint of muscles and abs. You wanted nothing more than to run your tongue along the lines of his tattoos & feel the taut muscles beneath your fingertips. Jiyong had been following your gaze, head tilting slightly as he smirked at you.

Seunghyun's palm provided another powerful blow and you cried out. Then you felt the blunt tip of him pushing against your opening as he slowly eased his way into your wet heat.

“Fuck, _________...” Seunghyun said when he was fully sheathed inside, his voice breathy. “You feel incredible.”

He held the position for a few seconds, letting you adjust to the feel of him. He wasn't small, stretching you in all the right ways. You circled your hips once to let him know it was okay to move. He started with slow, shallow thrusts, barely leaving you at all. But you didn’t want it slow. No... you wanted, needed, so much more.

"Faster. Seunghyun, please.” you didn’t care that you were already begging. Both men had been toying with you all night and you were done with games.

His broad hands gripped either side of your waist and he started fucking you harder, moving faster against you. You braced your hands flat on the mattress, pushing back into him, meeting him thrust for thrust. Yes... this was exactly what you had needed. Seunghyun slapped your ass again and you moaned loudly, the sting much more pleasurable this time.

Jiyong was completely naked now as he made his way to the foot of the bed, right up to where your head was. You looked down at the obvious sign of his arousal, licking your lips at the sight of his precum. Jiyong rubbed the bead of it against your half-parted lips.

"Open." he commanded. And you did. You opened your mouth wide as he pushed inside, your eyes meeting his.

This was amazing. Sex for you had never been this good before. But this wasn’t just sex... oh no, this was absolute raw fucking and you were loving every second of it. You reveled in how incredible it felt... to have two different men, with two very different hard lengths pushing inside of you.

Seunghyun was still pounding into you from behind, the force of his thrusts causing you to take more of Jiyong into your mouth and you swallowed impulsively.

“Fuck, that’s good.” he growled. You looked up through your lashes to see Jiyong's flushed face, eyes screwed shut as his grip on the back of your head tightened.

You took him into your mouth as deep as you could, hollowing out your cheeks as you did so. When he hit the back of your throat you slowly rocked your head from side to side, listening as Jiyong swore under his breath. Then you pulled back and began sucking him faster, a ribbon of hair slipping out of his hands to tickle your nose slightly from the constant motion. Jiyong brought the hand not currently wrapped in your hair up to your face, taking hold of the stray lock and tucking it behind your ear. 'Well that was nice of him.' you thought to yourself. Good to know the man currently fucking your mouth had manners. The intimacy of the act was not lost on you, but you didn’t have time nor the mental capacity to analyze exactly what that meant right now.

“You look so sexy getting fucked like this, __________. Do you know that?” Jiyong asked.

You shook Your head no. Jiyong's hand cupped your jaw, raising your head up slightly. “You do...” he said, his voice throaty and hoarse. “You look sexy as fuck like this. With me filling your mouth and Seunghyun fucking you from behind. Damn...” he released your face, moving to wrap your hair more firmly around his hand instead while he pushed further into your mouth.

Speaking of Seunghyun, he was still slamming into you at a grueling pace, hands digging into your flesh hard enough to bruise. Then he leaned forward to speak into your ear. “Touch yourself.” he said, almost breathlessly. You quickly maneuvered yourself & reached down between your legs to rub at your hardened nub desperately.

You came quickly after that, humming around Jiyong's length, triggering his own release as he emptied himself down your throat. You swallowed as much as you could while Seunghyun continued to fuck you at an erratic pace. He lost his rhythm every so often and you knew he was getting close. With a pop you released Jiyong from your mouth, then you ground your ass back into Seunghyun. You swiveled your hips once... twice... until you felt him surge forward, stilling as he reached his climax. A low growl escaped his throat as he spilled into you.

Feeling Seunghyun pulsate within you brought on an unexpected wave of pleasure which resulted in another orgasm. It wasn’t as strong as your previous ones, but it was still just as satisfying and you moaned in appreciation as both of you came down from the high.

Before you even knew what was happening Seunghyun had pulled out and flipped you onto your back. His mouth descended onto yours and you granted him easy access as his tongue swept into your mouth, his tongue stroking yours. He kissed you thoroughly and you knew he would be able to taste Jiyong. Most guys would be put off by that, hell most guys wouldn’t even let you kiss him after you’d finished sucking them off, but Seunghyun didn’t seem to care and fuck if that wasn’t one of the most erotic things you had ever experienced.

Suddenly you felt yourself being pulled up from the mattress. Seunghyun kissed you again, hard and fast, all tongue and teeth before he pushed you into Jiyong's arms. He was now sitting on the edge of the bed, legs dangling over the side. Jiyong picked you up by the waist, swinging you over his lap so you were straddling him. Somehow, he was already hard again. He took himself in one hand and lined it up with your entrance, running the head through your folds a couple times before slowly lowering you down onto him.

“I want you to ride me, _________. Take every single inch of me into your drenched core.”

You made a small whimper but easily complied, your knees digging into the mattress as you rose off of him, leaving just the head inside and then slamming back down again. He felt so fucking good like this, hitting spots deep inside that you never even knew you had. Where Seunghyun had been solid and filling, Jiyong was long and rigid. His hands fell to your ass, kneading the soft flesh as he helped to lift you up, encouraging your movements.

You bit down on your bottom lip to silence your screams and Jiyong quickly reached for your chin, freeing your lip from the confines of your teeth. “Don’t do that.” he snarled. “I want to hear you. I want to hear how good riding me makes you feel.”

“Oh…fuck. Jiyong!.”

“That’s it, ________.” he said through gritted teeth. “Harder!”

Damn, the sound of his voice was so commanding. The low growl that emanated from his chest as he spoke made you even more wet if that was humanly possible. You thought that you would do anything for him if only he kept speaking to you like that. You’d probably jump off a cliff right now if he told you to, your brain was so addled with lust.

"Harder, ________." he repeated. "I said to ride me harder!” he lifted his hips roughly to get the message across.

So you did. You rode him for all you were worth and then some. Your head was thrown back as your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, using him as an anchor. Your breasts were bouncing directly in front of Jiyong's face and he took one nipple into his mouth before alternating between the two.

You heard Seunghun's low muttered 'Fuck...” from somewhere. Looking up past Jiyong's shoulder, you found Seunghyun kneeling in the middle of the mattress, hard in hand, gripping himself tightly as he watched you ride his friend. His pupils were completely dilated, his eyes searing into yours.

"You like that?" Seunghyun asked with a smirk, his voice husky with need. "Do you like watching me stroke myself while you ride Ji?"

You could only nod in answer.

"I want to hear you say it.”

Fuck. These two were going to be the death of you.

"Yes..." you practically purred. "I like watching you stroke yourself while Ji…oh god, yes!” you cried out suddenly as Jiyong bit down, his teeth grazing one of your nipples. “…while Jiyong fucks me.” you barely managed to get the words out as Jiyong continued to thrust up into you.

Seunghyun stroked a little faster now, satisfied with your answer. He actually looked at you and winked... the smug bastard.

You began to shake, your breath coming out in short pants and you were having trouble keeping your eyes open.

Jiyong noticed and he roughly demanded, “Look at me, __________. I want you to watch me as I make you come.”

You slowly opened your eyes and were met with Jiyong's heated gaze. You continued to stare at each other, his hips rising up to meet yours as you lowered down onto him. You both kept up the pace for a few minutes, nearing the edge. With one last thrust and swivel of his hips you came hard, your inner walls clamping down on Jiyong as your forehead tilted forward to rest against his own. Your grip on him was so tight as you rode him through your orgasm that Jiyong was quick to follow, his hands stilling your movements as he emptied into you. Your foreheads were still pressed against each other’s, breaths mingling as the waves of pleasure subsided.

You felt absolutely spent, eyes drooping as you melted into Jiyong's embrace. He reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear before cupping your face with his palm entirely. You leaned into his hand, opening your eyes.

“Hey...” he spoke quietly, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

You smiled softly. “Hi...” you leaned down to capture his lips, kissing him slowly. Then Jiyong rose to his feet with you still in his arms as he softened inside you. He turned around and carefully set you back down onto the mattress. He pulled out, rolling onto his back, laying down to your right.

Seunghyun, who was still rock hard, went to kneel in front of you on the bed. He placed his broad hands on your knees, rubbing small circles into your skin with his thumbs. Your legs parted instinctively for him and he moved forward, stopping once he reached the apex of your thighs. Seunghyun took hold of his erection and smacked the head of it directly onto your already overly stimulated clit and your hips jumped off the mattress at the contact.

“Seunghyun! Oh my god!” you half-yelled, half-laughed at him.

Then, without warning, he slammed into you, wasting no time in developing a harsh rhythm. You gripped the bed sheet hard, knuckles soon turning white.

“You feel so fucking good, ____________. So. Fucking. Good.” he punctuated the last three words with deep, hard thrusts.

You turned your head to look over at Jiyong, noticing that he was hardening once more. 'The stamina on this guy is unbelievable.' you thought. You reached over to grab hold of him, starting to pump the length of him with your hand. You adjusted the angle of your head so you could cover his lips with your own. The kiss was sloppy, desperate.

Seunghyun hitched one of your legs over his shoulder, changing the angle in which he entered, hitting that sweet spot deep inside. His hand reached up to squeeze one of your breasts and he rolled a hard nipple in between his thumb and forefinger before pulling on it gently.

The sensations were incredible. Your body was glistening with sweat as Seunghyun continued to fuck you senseless. You didn’t want the pleasure to end but felt exhausted and knew that you wouldn’t be able to handle much more. And you could also feel the tension building with each thrust of Seunghyun's hips. You'd already lost track of the number of times you had an orgasm that night, but felt like you needed just one more.

You mumbled breathlessly against Jiyong's mouth. “Touch me, Jiyong. I need you to touch me.” your voice coming out desperate, needy. His hand traveled down to where you and Seunghyun were joined and he quickly began to rub your throbbing clit. Seunghyun's hand was still on your breast, squeezing roughly and you arched into his touch.

You were close now, you could feel the wave of bliss building from somewhere deep inside. You dug the heel of your foot between Seunghyun's shoulder blades, rocking your hips faster against him as your hand furiously pumped Jiyong's hardness.

This was it. Stars danced behind your eyes as your loud cries of pleasure filled the room.

"Come with me." you begged, your voice ragged from screaming. "I want you both to come with me!"

“Shit, ___________.” Seunghyun said as he pushed deeper into you.

You felt Jiyong rock faster into your hand, his breathing labored as he buried his head in the hollow of your neck. “Oh, fuck.”

"Yes!" you screamed, "That’s it! Don’t stop... oh god... now! I need you both to come with me now!” and as soon as the words left your lips you came, the orgasm hitting you hard as your body shook from the onslaught of the intense feeling.

Seunghyun came with a shout, your name tumbling from his lips as he unloaded himself into you for the second time that night.

Your body was still shaking uncontrollably and you felt Jiyong bite down hard on your neck, his cum shooting out in strands across your hand and abdomen.

Holy... fucking... shit.

None of you moved right away, all slowly trying to catch your breath instead, bodies still trembling from the aftershocks.

After what felt like an eternity, Seunghyun was the first to move. He pulled out so that he could lay flat on his back beside you and you whimpered at the loss of contact. You felt the bed shift to your right and you watched as Jiyong made his way into the bathroom, probably to get himself cleaned up.

Your eyes began to shut for real this time, exhaustion taking over. You moved to the left slightly, cuddling into Seunghyun's side. He reached over, tenderly smoothing the hair away from your sweat-dampened forehead. You felt the right side of mattress dip again when Jiyong returned. He crawled in beside you and began cleaning off your body with a warm washcloth. You hummed in thanks at the sweet gesture. When he was finished he threw the cloth aside and slid in next to you, drawing the covers over all three of you.

The last thing you remembered before falling asleep was Jiyong lacing his fingers with yours, and Seunghyun placing soft kisses onto your shoulder.

________________________________________________

You could feel the moisture that had collected between your legs as you relived the previous night’s events. You looked down past Jiyong's messy hair to see that his fingers were ghosting across your abdomen, right down until he reached your core.

"What are you thinking about that’s got you so wet, hmm?" Jiyong asked, just as you felt his fingertips lightly travel across your slit.

You shivered under his touch. “Last night.” you smiled fondly at the memory. “Thank you.”

Jiyong kissed your sternum softly, “Anything for you, baby.”

"So... did we successfully fulfill your fantasy, Ms.________?" You turned your head slightly to look at a now awake Seunghyun .

"Yes. It was perfect." you said as you ran a finger down the side of his face. "But I’m pretty sure my ass is going to be sore for a day or two." you angled your head a bit more to glare at him properly.

He ducked his head cutely, “Sorry about that. I guess I got a little carried away... in the moment.” he replied, cheeks turning red from embarrassment.

"It’s okay, Seunghyun. As long as you promise to kiss it better." you teased.

"Oh, I’m sure I can manage that," he stared down at you with that private smile you adored so much.

"Last night..." Jiyong began, his voice growing serious now, "we didn’t use any condoms." You chuckled softly. Jiyong wouldn’t be Jiyong if he didn’t find something to agonize over.

You sat up so that you could look at both of their faces before speaking. “I wanted to feel both of you, only you.” your head moved from side to side so that you could look directly into each of their eyes.

Both men stared at you in amazement. Jiyong opened his mouth to speak, “But...”

You silenced him by pressing a finger to his lips. "I love you." you said, the tone of your voice leaving no room for uncertainty. "I love both of you, and I didn’t want any barriers between us."

You looked between the two of them, waiting for a response. But Seunghyun and Jiyong were quiet. Too quiet... and you feared that your confession had been too much for them. It was the first time any of you had said those words to each other in the few short months since you had started this little relationship. Were you moving too fast? Were they not ready for that? Was this whole arrangement just sex for them?

Tears started to form in your eyes and you began retreating into yourself. I shouldn’t have said that. I ruined a perfectly good thing by opening my mouth and now I’ve probably scared off the both of them. I was stupid to think that these last couple of months meant anything to them other than sex. I’m so stupid for thinking that they loved me too.

Your mind was racing with a million different thoughts that you didn’t even notice Jiyong grab your face until his lips descended onto yours. He kissed you roughly, swallowing your gasp of surprise. He pulled back suddenly, just far enough so that he could look into your eyes. And he looked…angry?

Then he spoke, his voice came out as more of a growl than anything else, “This was not about the sex. You’re not stupid for...”

You yelped in embarrassment, pulling your head away and shutting your eyes. Shit! Of course you had said those things out loud.

Jiyong took hold of your face more firmly in his hands. “Look at me, ________.” he pleaded, and the evident desperation in his tone caused you to open your eyes.

"I love you." Jiyong stated, his voice was thick with emotion and you noticed he had tears in his eyes too. "I love you so much."

You were crying openly now and you pulled Jiyong's face to yours, kissing him passionately. You heard a throat clearing politely behind you & tore your mouth away from Jiyong's so that you could face Seunghyun.

He was smirking at you. “He's wrong, you know...” he began and you felt your heart drop in your chest.

“You are stupid.” he paused, chuckling at your confusion before continuing. “You are so stupid for ever thinking that Ji and I could be anything but head over heels in love with you.”

Fresh tears now formed in your eyes and a strangled sob escaped your throat. Seunghyun moved forward to kiss you gently, his hands reaching for yours where they lay in your lap. You grasped his hands tightly before turning his palms over so that you could intertwine your fingers with his. Jiyong slid behind you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and you leaned back into his chest, never letting go of Seunghyun's hands.

Your heart was fluttering rapidly in your chest and you couldn’t help the wide smile that had spread across your face.

Seunghyun opened his mouth to speak again, breaking the silence. “I just want to add that even though this relationship isn’t entirely about sex, the sex part of the deal still means a lot to me. Because last night was fucking incredible.” he said with a wistful, far away smile.

Jiyong huffed out a laugh, his chest rumbling against your back as he held you in his arms. Gods, you loved that sound.

"I’ve got to admit, it was extremely hot to be on the receiving end of the infamous GD&TOP double combo seduction game. I’m a little jealous of all the other women you pulled that stunt on before meeting me."

Jiyong just held you tighter and Seunghyun leaned in to kiss your forehead.

"You have nothing to be jealous of, angel. All those other women were just that... other women. We were never in love with any of them." Seunghyun said sincerely.

Jiyong pressed a soft kiss into your hair. “Only you.”

"Mmmm. Only me."

Yeah... you definitely liked the sound of that.

#GD #TOP #Kwon Jiyong #Choi Seunghyn #BigBang fic #BigBang smut #double combo #gd&top

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