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iamindifferenttolamp · 3 months

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My work email just got a spam message from "Astral World" and it's got so many memeable lines I was just losing my shit at the desk reading this. Buckle up, it's a long one...I'd say with no paragraph breaks because that's how I received it, but tumblr literally won't let me post a paragraph that long

Subject: Astral projection

government with the mafia together distributes seized drugs, smuggling, sells peoples to slavery, sells weapons to terrorists .that they could be inviolable, they lock their own people in prisons, lower ranking "friends", those who don’t have roof in the governments .On TV shows law seize drugs,burns drugs,later secretly assisted by the mafia, spreads back to the street. If you are a person of another orientation , and you pushed something to your anus , or a mans bell , or to the mouth , you destroyed your aura, chakra. It's means you destroyed your shields , and you opened the gate to your personal world. A demon, Evil, witch snake flew into your world .they caught parts of your soul, and keep them closed, sucking all the life out of them. if you don't restore your full aura, and if you don't completely expel the demons from your world. If you do not take the slave's chains off your neck. Then after death you will remain their slave forever, they will torture you, they will take all the life out of you. Slave forever. It is also possible to destroy aura shields in other ways, depending on how much and what kind of bad work you have done.

Doing bad things like eating meat,when you die, the devil will catch you and will beat your ass with candy. In life you mafia head,after death you go to barn have party with stinky pigs,do you like it? You say its nonsense,bullshit ? if you consider yourself normal, take a look at what is written here. Astral World - Demons, do you pay tribute? You get a bomb, suitcase, attaches to the soul, dying diodes explode, a slave forever, the developer does not forgive because of such rules. You are the Lamb among the Wolves, you know the end of history? what are you doing at all? demons in the imagination are disturbed, creating false dreams, thoughts, feelings. Go out from there, faster!

There is a technique to cure any disease. Good jobs, having a woman, dream, music, laughter, adrenaline, crying, love all works. always be happy. must feel, fantasize that you Boss beats with the Gods, remember nostalgia. A high dose of energy, when there are always shivers and tears, means that you are healing. exercise and do yoga. You lose energy - medicine, vaccines - devil's poison. falling into the pit, think of how to get out. Stressful, scared or eating from 5 to 5 in the morning, they stealing of Endorphins oxatacins without their people dying. scream in the forest, sing, play the game - the accumulated anger causes malignant tumors. Using electronics, while watching TV, energy is pumped out. Metal detectors explode the body. Buy animal products you order death, animal and human death equal. Reincarnation - being bad here, you will not be born here, others will live and enjoy kef life. When you close your eyes, you can move a little man, if don't see , they control you.

Do you call yourself a loving father? Do you respect other Fathers? How animals, Father? You are light - they are darkness, what you don’t understand? The water from the tap is poisoned-drink boiled water. In fat people and not only, parasites live in the gut, they accumulate feces, it’s energy bombs. excess food, sugar, and chemistry which puts all the food in the store. Man must live as much as the creator has given him time to live,if hes die, to his own fault earlier time, he travels straight to hell forever. Those parasites are the last day of human life, releases those feces as concentrated energy, let's say to the heart, to make it explode, and man does not live full life whitch was given to the Creator,it’s yours foult what you eated much food and puted much parazites too your gut. How to get rid of the parasite - be on the water, a person can stay hungry all year round, the body will start internal detoxification, the parasites will lose energy and with all the feces will leave the body, they feed on excess food, one banana a day is enough for you. In this way you will cleanse your body and open your third eye.

Spread this message, you will receive gifts from the Creator. is nature destined to burn? Governments must take care of the gardens, it's the earth, if you don't take care, after death you won't be able to enter on here agian. What you think about peoples, who eat dogs and cats ? it's normal from their side, just like eating cows from your side, but from other people like who don't eat cows, they form the same opinion about you, as you do about cat eaters . do you still think you are good human ? Visit relatives, someone is waiting. If you try to run from the darkness , Remember, your soul does not speak anything, soul work in silence. The easiest way to win against them.

Do not do a bad thing, make exercise, do starve. When the body becomes empty and light, you will be able to slip into the astral world, and when you slip, you will win. Because those are the rules. Then All your aura shields will be restored. This is trap, with bad deeds, they make slaves. Want to get too much energy ,? Create family, for this energy you will restore , more than half your auras.If you suffer from internal body problems, disease.So you are doing something wrong in life.You do bad things, you build dark energy, it has the power to injure you.You do good things,you build light energy, it gives you strength, you can cure any diseases.With that energy, women's can change the beauty of their face and all body. How you can be beautiful if you do bad thing's ? Men's can build bigger muscles , be much more stronger, smarter. If medicine helped, then all people would be cured, but from one drug to another drugs,

People jump like deer on the road and die under the wheels, so why do you use those drugs? People trust the government's who speak on TV, food advertisements - which say that the food is not poisoned, even though you haven't seen and don't know those people, but loved families sitting at the same table, you cursing and calling them liars, how to understand this, explain to me? Send this letter to all people, you will get energy, you will be cured of any disease while you sleep, you will not need to take medicines that cause toxins to accumulate in the intestines and when you get enough dose you know the end. They use the heavy load complicated words of subconscious psychology. Family is the most important thing in your life?. so why do you kill families of animals by eating them.? Don't be stuck in today, dream into the future. If you refuse something in a day, and you are tormented by feelings, you will overcome everything if you are not afraid to suffer in your feelings, it takes energy to create feelings , will run out of energy, there will be no bad feelings, bad energy comes from bad work and our beloved chemicals that are added to food.

Do you like homosexuals? No?do they do bad things? Yes? If you do bad things , that means hand by hand step by step you walking together with them, whi? Because all bad things in one darkness room, like you with them... Sick cancer ? Do not lie in bed like invalids,look at them they fell apart, run to the sport and send thise message. They steal people's souls, drag them through the astral world, How ? forcing you to do bad things, you break down the barriers of the soul.We live in dust, other people live in our dust, that means when you burn food in the pan, you burn other lesser peoples, let's be fair, but that's the truth. that's why you're not happy, be like animals eating green food. Am I saying something wrong? watch youtube universe size comparison, you'll understand everything I'm writing about...We are those bacteria's !!!!!! there is only one Creator, he is not a god, not darkness, not light, he can destroy and restore everything in a second, he just watches how everyone grinds a shits...

In the astral world or dream world , you can sell your body's healthy organs, or bright energy which you charge by rejoicing and doing good deeds, but then you got tied up, to darkness and get best fellings body narcotics or money, but its just temporary and contact time that moment with darkness you get secretly demons, parazytes into your world and then they catch you, and then is very hard to run away from this prison , when make deal with darknes, money magically appears in your bank account or you win the lottery, or you can give your energy for free, behaving stupidly, destroying this world , smoking cigaretes, eating food that we dont even realy need, 1 banana enough per day, same time lose energy and health. Here is a small hint, what is the astral world and how like millionaires and billionaires became so rich, they sold their souls to the darkness, and the darkness taught them how to deal with the electricity that drains our energy. How to enter the astral world, close your mouth and do not put anything in it. You will be able to make money and you will no longer need to work, good luck... Or you can learn by yourself with bright energy everything what you need, or heal somebody just sending your bright energy assisted by astral world , because after all darknes gonna trick you, and you gonna lose more than darknes was asked, like example if you gonna contact with darkness, and later if earth gonna die, the Creator will then think, if you are worthy to be born and live in another world much better than this one, If you gonna destroy this world, whi creator must creat new world to give you live a ? Save world or destroy world that's a question for you...

-- Sent from Mail.ru app for Android

#hard to tell wtf is going on here and I'm absolutely not taking any of it seriously but #cw: homophobia #cw: fatphobia #cw: body horror??#one banana is enough #when you close your eyes you can move a little man #metal detectors eplode the body #shitpost #I wish this was short enough to become the next copypasta

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keorami · 3 years

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So you know when you wanna write a funny situation but you realise that you have to come up with said funny situation? Yeah... I forgot that my sense of humor is atrocious, but at least I tried...? I couldn't focus on one long story so I decided to write several short ones instead! Hope you enjoy!

"I have the feeling you're not enjoying this sleepover very much."

Dream did not, in fact, enjoy this 'sleepover', because not only did it remind him that his only way out of this hell was stuck in here with him, but said way out had been nothing but insufferable since he got here.

"Is this about the bell-"

"You could have gotten us out of here."

Oh yeah, said way out also wasted their one chance at escaping on a fucking bell. Dream hadn't felt such anger in... he doesn't remember actually. He didn't get to feel angry often in here.

"Listen, it was a very important matter-"

He stopped listening at that point. It was the same tirade every time about clout and viewership and whatever that he honestly could care less about. Staring at and counting the cracks in the obsidian seems like a very interesting activity.

"Hey, are you listening?"

1... 2... 3...

"Dude."

4... 5... 6...

"How long are you gonna ignore me?"

7... 8- wait, didn't he count that one already?

"Look at me at least."

No, he doesn't think he will. Because then the bell will be within view, and Dream knows that if he wasn't so pathetically weak, either the bell or Techno would have been thrown into the lava by now. But he is, so he'll throw the next best thing: his body. And fuck whatever the pig might have to say about it.

"Dreeeeeam-"

"WHAT."

He whipped his head so fast his neck hurt a little. He was fully prepared to... well now he doesn't remember, because of all faces he expected Techno to make...

The fuckboy face wasn't one of them.

"Nooo don't be angry, you're so sexy haha."

Oh God, he just died and went to limbo didn't he?

He wasn't sure when exactly he collapsed on the floor, gasping for air in a mix of wheezes and coughing, but Techno was now hovering over him in panic.

"Dream please don't die, I don't want the last thing you ever saw to have been that face-"

Oh, if there was one thing he would make sure not to forget, it would have been that face.

~~~~~

"Man, I'm starving. When do we get food in here again?"

"Um, I don't know really. I guess whenever Sam is in the mood?"

"What."

"Yeah."

Sam hasn't dropped food a single time since he was locked in here. Well, add 'food' to the basic human rights Dream isn't getting. They're really treating this like a bucket list aren't they?

"It's... You'll get used to it."

Dream gives him some potatoes from his inventory, to Techno's absolute delight. At least Sam has great taste, he'll give him that. But...

"...They're raw."

"Well, obviously."

Listen. He loves potatoes. He'd say he loves them to death, if he could die. No matter how you cook them, they turn out delicious. But raw? He'd only eat them raw if it was a life-or-death situation AND he somehow had no source of heat at his disposal, and the likelihood of that situation happening is practically zero. So yeah, he doesn't like to eat them raw.

"And that's all you get?"

"If you can't eat it-"

Ah, those famous words. Now, he's fairly certain that Dream didn't mean it as a challenge, but at this point Techno is just too competitive to see it any other way. Look, you don't get to his level by being passive, okay? So it's perfectly reasonable.

What wasn't reasonable was the taste of this potato because what in the Blood God's name is this.

"What the hell is this."

"...A potato?"

"No, this is a fucking travesty."

And what a sight it was, the Technoblade swearing and ranting about potatoes, of all things. Dream could only last until "mossy cobblestone tastes better than this dry ass, stinky ass garbage" before he lost it. You gotta give him credit for lasting this long at least. Technoblade was too busy ranting to care either way.

~~~~~

This can't be happening.

"Dream."

"What."

He tries to sound neutral, but Techno can hear the snicker in his voice.

"You don't have to do this."

Surely he can reconsider-

"On the contrary, it has to be done."

Dream places a single card on the pile, which happens to be his last one. A Wild Draw 4, to rub salt into the wound. Techno decides that ending on that card should be illegal.

"Remember the deal. No bell for the rest of the day."

"NOOOOOOO!"

Unfortunately, that had been the condition he had to agree to in order to get Dream to play. Because apparently he was "ringing it all the fucking time and it was driving me crazy". There's that, and the threat that Dream would jump in the lava again if he refused. So clearly he had a choice in the matter.

He knew that there was a chance he could lose... but he had deemed it low enough to ignore it. How could he not expect the resident chessmaster of the SMP to utterly trounce him in UNO? He was a fool, and now he has to think about how to make up for the lost clout and money.

At least, judging from the quiet snickers, someone finds his misery funny. He finds consolation in knowing that he may have lost the battle but he won the war. In a way.

~~~~~

"So I almost got mauled to death but that was how I met Steve."

Dream stares at him the way Phil does when he does something particularly outlandish and he fails to see why.

"Can I ask a question."

"Sure."

"Why would the first thing you do upon running into a starving polar bear be hugging it?"

Of course he would question it, because obviously Techno's superior intellect is confusing to the common mind. He just really likes animals, okay? Steve's fur looked so soft and fluffy he just had to touch it, he almost got his face torn off and Phil never let him live that down. But he'll sooner accept governments than let Dream know that. He doesn't want to embarrass himself too much.

"See Dream, I live by a simple philosophy."

"Long live anarchy?"

"No. Well yes, but not just that."

Dramatic silence.

"Any animal is huggable if you aren't a coward."

Dream chokes on his potato, the only one he had eaten today, and Techno worries for a second before he realises that Dream is actually laughing.

"Tech- what-" His body is shaking. "-what is wrong with you??"

"It all started when I was born-"

~~~~~

And it's enough to send Dream rolling on the ground. It wasn't even that funny, but he supposes that prison does a number on you, and Dream's sense of humor was already terrible to begin with.

...Okay, now he had to make sure that the teletubby didn't laugh himself to death.

At the end of the day- at least Techno assumes it's the end of the day, he doesn't know how trustworthy his internal clock is anymore- the two inmates of Pandora's Vault are about ready to fall asleep, but Techno has one last thing to do before that.

"Dream, come here for a minute."

Said man gives him such a wary look that he almost feels insulted.

"...Why?"

"I won't bite, ya know."

"That's... debatable."

Bruh.

"Just get over here."

And Dream complies without any further complaints. Techno hopes he didn't sound too harsh, but his cellmate wasn't shivering uncontrollably, so he thinks he's in the clear.

"What?"

Techno lays his cape down on the very uncomfortable obsidian floor. Seriously, laying down for an hour is enough to make his joints ache. 0/10 would not recommend. How did Dream- right, he doesn't have a choice.

"What are you doing?"

"Making this prison less of a living hell. Come lay down."

"...I'm fine."

Why are you being so difficult, Techno wants to ask, even though he can guess the answer. When was the last time anyone did something remotely nice for him without any catch? Especially in here?

"Stop being difficult and sleep with me already."

Silence.

"...Pft."

"You know what I meant."

In his defense, everyone has their moments, and his usually don't happen that often.

"Stop being so difficult and-"

"Just... get over here. My cape is really soft."

"Is that why you wear it all the time?"

"...Among other things."

But mostly because it was really soft.

Dream still seemed apprehensive about the whole thing, and while usually Techno would have respected his wishes and left him be... the sight of his rival curling up in a corner of the cell, obviously trying to not aggravate his injuries as he did, was saddening even to him. Prime, he's really not good at this... but Dream probably definitely needs it.

So he pulls his roommate into a side hug, which is honestly the best he can manage without ruining his image. It's awkward, Dream is way too stiff, and maybe now would be the time to say something before embarrassment kills either or both of them. Something reassuring, comforting to help Dream relax in his presence for example.

"This is gonna be the best sleepover you've ever had."

...But the day he stops relying on humor for any kind of social interaction is the day it'll either stop working or get him killed.

"...This is so stupid."

And today was not that day.

Dream lets out a laugh, shaky but genuine, and relaxes. Techno sees that as a win. Since he's stuck here for a while, might as well make his favorite teletubby's life in here more bearable.

And it's finally over! It only took me... *looks at calendar* ...time is an illusion. Idk if I'm really happy with this, but on the bright side, it's... done? Now I really wanna continue that endersmile fanfic as I got some ideas, hopefully it won't take as long? God I am a writing disaster

Also if you saw any mistakes... no you didn't :)

#dreblr #technoblr #rivalsblr #rivals duo #keo's writing #techno angrily ranting about potatoes is hilarious to me #i hc him as being very passionate about them #so he takes them very seriously #look everyone portrays c!techno as this calm and collected warrior #he farmed potatoes for 14 hours straight he definitely has dumbass energy #tfw you don't know how to be funny

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eddiemilkman · 3 years

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- Random Writing Prompt #1 -

Hey there! I’m pretty new to this platform and just trying to find my way around it for now, but I do wanna make a quick low quality post just to fill up a bit of space. I went on this website https://www.servicescape.com/writing-prompt-generator (This one here) and decided a fun thing to do when entering this cite was one of those funky prompts. So I did! And here's a portion of it. It’s late and I have a test tomorrow so I don't wanna stay up too long, but here’s a bit of writing to get a feel of what I’m all about. Hope you enjoy. (Also an important thing to note: I’m not a huge spelling or grammar buff so there’s probably mistakes and I’m sorry.)

ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛ #862: ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ɴᴇɪɢʜʙᴏʀʜᴏᴏᴅ ʙᴏʏ ᴡʜᴏ ʟɪᴋᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀᴍᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜ. ʙᴏᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴅɪʀᴛ ᴘᴏᴏʀ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴇᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ; ᴀꜱ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴅ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴀ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ-ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴀᴅᴠᴇɴᴛᴜʀᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʀɴᴇʀ. ʜᴇ ɢʀᴇᴡ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴀ ꜱᴛᴀʀ ʙᴀꜱᴋᴇᴛʙᴀʟʟ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ, ɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴡᴇᴀʟᴛʜʏ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ꜱᴇᴇᴍꜱ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ꜰᴏʀɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʜᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ. ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ'ᴛ ᴛᴀʟᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜɪᴍ ɪɴ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ ʙʀɪɴɢꜱ ʜɪᴍ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏʟᴅ ɴᴇɪɢʜʙᴏʀʜᴏᴏᴅ, ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇɪɴᴛʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪꜰᴇ ʜᴇ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ.

ᴘᴀʀᴛ (1/??) ᴘɪᴄᴋʟᴇ ᴄʜɪᴘ ᴇᴀᴛᴇʀꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘɪᴄᴋʟᴇ ᴄʜɪᴘ ꜱᴇʟʟᴇʀꜱ

When we were young, my mother told me Gary was going to be a total tool. And I didn’t believe her at all. Gary was my friend so I couldn't imagine him growing older and not being good ole Gary. The Gary you could laugh and pig out with. The Gary who would holler and bark so loudly in class, the teacher would have to put him out in the hallway with nothing but his worksheet and pencil bag. He never acted like he was better than anyone else. When the washing machine would run busted, he would flip his shirt and wear it the next school day just like all of the rest of us.

That's why when he was accepted into that fancy-schmancy college for scarf wearers and coffee drinkers, it knocked me straight on my ass. I was happy, and everyone strung up a plastic smile at his going away party, but when he left everything was so...colorless. I wouldn’t deem it tool behavior, but it did solidify my mother's suspicion of him one day up and ditching me. He was my other half and then just dipped out on me for prestigious people who read Shakespeare and go to those cafes where there's wifi. He didn't even know those people! He left his comfortable little river to swim out through the mouth into an ocean of unfamiliar specimens. Sharks and dolphins, all aggressively fighting for a reward neither of us would daydream of.

We both sort of assumed we’d be stuck sweeping the Quick Mart or selling rolled joints to middle schoolers until the end of time. Middle schoolers would never stop loving the abuse of weak drugs and the Quick mart floors would never not have puddles of vomit and booze. That sounds more like a secure job than something you can go to college for. You can turn around one day and boom, the stock market or something crashed (?) I don't know much about business. Anyways yeah, you get my point. Pickle chips and fake cheese the color of a school bus will never go out of style. Stupid businesses that make those fancy indoor bike things will. What if everyone one day woke up and said “wow, I can always just run outside…”. Then what would happen? Those who went to college and got that stinky degree would be thrown out on the street, eating away their stress by scarfing down pickle chips!

I never thought of Gary as a pickle chip eater rather than a pickle chip seller. I mean when we would scribble down our future on printer paper it was incredibly detailed and surprisingly dull for children. The fortune we manifested during a game of M.A.S.H read to us as a mere fantasy. When we reached middle school it was clear we weren't going to live a life of golf courses and acceptable day drinking. We sort of realized this a few weeks into middle school, when we would be lined up against a brick wall while tall beefy police officers with their beastly dogs raided lockers for weed and patted us down for pocket knives. We were treated like deadbeats so we sort of expected it from ourselves and assumed the only way out was if one of us won the Powerball or….if the other one won the Powerball. I thought that was the plan… Man, being a failure alone sort of sucks come to think of it.

I wouldn't call myself a loser, just not a massive winner-ly type. I’m a goal-getter and I'll give myself that. I did land that job at Quick Mart restocking shelves, which is a little bittersweet now.

Gary always popped into my head every other week. I guess I’m just hung up on the stuff I never got to say. Why didn’t he suggest we attend the same college? Why when it came to our future planning was he loud, but in reality, disappeared so quietly?

“CHAS!” A voice echoed behind me. So sharp and stern, mean and crippling. Ugh...Lester. “You’ve been sweeping that corner for 5 minutes! Quit bleeding the clock and go do some actual work!”

I grip the handle of the broom and grunt. Fucking Lester. If there's anyone from high school I didn't want to land a job with, it's that joker. He was scrawny in size but a huge talker. It's crazy how the smallest of people always squawk the loudest. I do what he says because he’s a loudmouth and will probably rant and rave about me to the boss about how I leave all of the work on his tiny frame and he needs someone “competent”. Well, I need someone who doesn't act like a total ass-hat, but my needs haven't been accommodated yet so neither will his. I began toying around with some boxes of wafers on the shelf, just straightening them for no good reason. Sedated by boredom, I find my mind slowly drifting into other places. Where was he? Was he skipping around a college campus, holding onto his textbooks that he had to pay for?! Who pays for his pencils and books and highlighters? I bet he has that little bottle of white paint you slap over pen mistakes because your assignment is just too important for there to be scribbles on.

“GET THE HELL OUTTA 'HERE!”

My body suddenly jolts at the commotion from over near the cash register. Lester was using his thin little arms to violently push a grey round figure into the glass door. The man stumbled over his torn sneakers and gripped the doorframe. Lester used his small fist to pound on his fingers while simultaneously kicking him in the thigh. Once the man let go, Lester used the collar of his worn bomber jacket to throw him out onto the sidewalk. He shuffled from the door with hesitation, breathing like a wolf.

“Damn” I whimper meekly through the gaps of the shelves.

“That’s it, we’re closed.”

“Uh, Larry’s not gonna-”

“That meth head is gonna freak the hell out again. That joker comes in high as a plane every other day, and asks me if he can use his ‘coupons’ which I’ve told him a trillion times are fake and obviously printed out on a home computer-”

“Let him have it”, I squeak “he’s probably just really hungry”

“An iced tea, Slim Jim, and a loaf of bread should fill him up just fine! He treats shopping here like its extreme couponing. The worst part isn't the fake-y coupons, but when he wigs the hell out on me when I deny him. You weren't here when he sprayed me with fake cheese?”

“I think I was late that day”

Lester rolled his eyes.

“‘Course you were. God forbid your 6-foot ass came and protected me from crazy meth addicts.”

“Can we give him the spoils in the back?” I ask as I make my move over to the back room. The pile of “spoiled” food had built up to a mountain of American waste. I was ready to cut a slice into my unofficial take-home pay to get a hungry guy some food. I mean at least he was crafty and wasn't trying to come to rob the place.

“He’s gonna come in here with a gun one of these days.” I from the back room. “And get sent to the joint for a 3 dollar slim jim and pack of Oreos?” Lester strolls in behind me.

“3 square meals a day...” I mutter. Prison never sounded so bad. Free food, chess, television if you’re good. I was a good guy. I'd probably be on kitchen duty or do something fun.

“Well, I wouldn't put it past him...that crazy weirdo”

*Yah so this is the basic rundown of how I write and what maybe most of my posts will look like. As you can see its a umm....*ahem* easy read? I’m not that artistic with my writing sorry. Maybe ill improve one day.*

#writing prop #writing #writing prompt #fiction #short story #writing promp #why did i say prop oh my lord

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fartpet127-blog · 6 years

Text

head harness & new tonspuren

TONSPUR: HEAD HARNESS a head harness. something that looks like a jock strap. but there is a second piece. a head harness. with extra straps. connecting it. to the jocks strap part. the fat man ass degrader. pulling out a gag. putting this on you. you. having to breathe. to breathe through your nose. the fat man ass degrader. putting the gag strap. putting it into your mouth. securing the strap. of the gag. round your head. shackled. you. being shackled. shackled to his fat man ass. his enormous gargantuan bubbly butt. his bubbly ass cheeks. one meter. his ass almost one meter broad. enormous. one meter in width. one meter in breadth. in diameter. almost one meter. his broad, fat, beefy ass. the degrader. handing you. handing you the head harness. handing the head harness to you. the degrader. putting on the jocks strap part. handing you the head harness. you. fitting it to your head. the grizzly pig. handing you. handing you some wrist cuffs. telling you. telling you to put them on. putting on the wrist cuffs. you. reluctantly putting on the cuffs. here we are. a fat man ass farter. totally nude. standing. standing with you. you. kneeling behind him. kneeling. kneeling behind his obscenely fat man ass. the degrader. commanding you. commanding you to get against the wall. facing out. facing out to make sure. making sure you can get it good and snug. doing. doing as you are told. and the degrader. starting. starting to back. starting to back his obscenely fat man ass. up to your face. the degrader. looking over the shoulders. and moving. moving one of his hands. behind your head. pushing your face. into his fat ass. his fat, bubbly ass. you. starting. starting to feel. to feel the same sensation as before. when the degrader had pinned you. pinning you. pinning you in his monstrous ass cheeks. wrapping. his huge bubbly ass cheeks. wrapping around your face. your nose. your nose right next. right next to his huge. his huge, stinking, greasy hole. a stinking, farting, greasy hole. you. sniffing it out. rimming it out. licking it clean. sticking your tongue. deep into this grizzly butt. deep into this dirty hole. swagging your tongue. in and out. greedily. swagging it. your tongue. in the degraders fat man ass. all you can see. his huge hefty beefy bubbly ass cheeks. the grease. the stench. sniffing in deeply the stench. feeling him. feeling the degraders. to start strapping. to start strapping the two harnesses together. strapping them together. pulling in your face. pulling it in. slightly harder. harder against his obscenely big beefy bubbly butt. his big beefy bubbly butt. mouthing at his massively monstrous ass. his massively monstrous, mighty, mountainous ass. titanically towering above you. repulsive, repellent, revolting his dirty humungous hole. the fat degrader. ordering you. ordering you to put your hands. to put your hands. on his massive hips. obeying. doing as you are told. noticing the degrader. somehow clipping the straps. clipping the straps on your wrists. to his parts of the harness. once the degrader has done this. doing a slight side to side wiggle. saying. in there good? you nodding. nodding yes. with a muffled sound. you still able. still able to move your face a little. and then the degrader starts. starts to back up. till you feel the wall. on the back of your head. wondering. wondering what the degrader is doing. but then. feeling the degraders massive fat ass. the fat man ass. pushing back. pushing back hard. on your face. you. pulling. pulling on the straps. which only force. only force your face tighter up. tighter up against the degraders obscenely fat man ass. pushing your nose. pushing your nose. right up to his huge stinking asshole. you. barely able to breathe. the feeling of the degraders massive, gargantuan ass. hard on your face. hard on your face. so tight. you. unable to stand the smell. the smell of his rancid ass crack. so bad. too bad. crusty. unable. not being able to stand. to stand the smell of his ass crack. too bad. crusty. dirty. sweaty. rank. then. the fat man degrader beginning. beginning to walk around. walking around. as you. as you are forced. forced to crawl behind him. feeling his obscenely fat ass cheeks. his obscenely fat ass cheeks. wiggling. wiggling side to side. you. having no idea. no idea where the fat man ass degrader. where he is walking to. and crawling. crawling behind him. the degrader. stopping. opening the fridge. pulling something out. pulling you deviled eggs. his favourite. him saying. you know how bad, how bad I had gas from these the other day. Fartboy. Well. that was only from eating. only from eating four of them. I think I should finish. finish off this entire batch. this entire batch of 3 dozen, he says. your heart. your heart racing. racing with fear. pumping. thumping. your heart racing with fear. you. shaking your head. shaking your head no. as much as you can. but the degrader. just acting. acting as if nothing was happening. the degrader. eating the devilled eggs. eating them rather quickly. yummy, he says. so that means I am eating 9 times. 9 times more. than yesterday. So I should have at least. at least 9 times as much gas. and they should be. at least 9 times smellier. Arent you lucky, Fartboy? Oh God. you. you panicking. but then you remember. the degrader telling you. telling you to just tap. just to tap on his enormous ass cheek. tapping if you wanted out. so you start tapping. tapping the degraders enormous ass cheeks. tapping them with your palms. but the degrader just standing there. just standing there finishing off. finishing off the eggs. as if he had no idea. no idea what you meant. you. continuing banging your wrists. banging your wrists against the degraders massive cheeks. reminding him of his promise. finally the degrader says. are you trying? trying to say something? and he comes up with a signal. he would ask the question. and if you took one big long sniff. then this meant no. and if you took two big long sniffs. then this meant yes. and he comes up with a signal. he would ask the question. and if you took one big long sniff. then this meant no. and if you took two big long sniffs. then this meant yes. and he comes up with a signal. he would ask the question. and if you took one big long sniff. then this meant no. and if you took two big long sniffs. then this meant yes. the fat man arse degrader then asking you. asking you. if your face was tight in his ass. and you. you taking two big sniffs. meaning yes. Good is only reply. the fat man ass degrader then continuing. continuing to walk. and never aksing a question. never asking a question that would give you. give you a chance. a chance to get free. the degrader then walking around. dragging you behind him. he stops. standing in the back of the room. then you faintly hear him. saying. yes! that did not take long. saying it in a satisfied voice. and the degrader. the degrader ripping a loud rank fart. ripping a loud rank fart. right onto your nose. Does that smell good, my little fartboy? he says. as he giggle a little. you. not wanting to answer him. not wanting to answer. because that would mean. that would mean you would have. you would have to take. an even bigger breath. but this makes the degrader angry. I asked you a question, dammit! Does that fucking smell good? You, fearfully. Fearfully taking a long sniff. one long sniff as to say no. and you can smell. you can smell the nasty fart. smelling the nasty fart even more fragrantly. Oh, poor baby! So sad to hear. So sad to hear you do not like. You do not like your new home. Oh well, he says. What the hell, you think. Your new home? What is the degrader talking about? The degrader then bending. bending over just slightly. letting his rank asshole. letting his rank asshole. open up. open up around your nose. and releasing. releasing a long low sounding gassy fart. a gassy fart that goes. goes straight up your trapped nostrils. and burns your lung. burning your lung. with the hot sulfury gass. As his next long smelly fart. his next long smelly fart. escaping his smelly butt crack. as his next long smelly fart. escapes his smelly butt crack. he wiggles. wiggling his massive ass. wiggling his massive ass around. around your face. as to emphasize. as to emphasize his power. his power over you. he then lowering his ass. lowering his ass rather quickly. into an almost squatting position. the sudden motion. pushing back on your face. causing you to naturally react. by pulling on your wrist straps. which in turn. in turn pull you. pull your face. deeper into the degraders. the degraders now wide open. wide open bending ass crack. and securing your harness. even tighter. tighter to his insanely. his insanely stinky ass. as a result. your nose. your nose being pushed directly. being pushed directly into the degraders. the degraders fragrant butthole. exactly what he had planned. the degrader standing up again. pleased that you are now secured. secured even tighter. making it even harder. even harder for you. to breathe. and making the air. the air that you can breathe. smell even worse. if you can even call it air. your name. not breathing oxygen. breathing pure ass fumes. your name. faintly hearing the degrader. hearing the degrader chuckling to himself. so proud. so proud of the predicament. the predicament he has you stuck in. suddenly the fat man arse degrader. letting loose. letting loose a long. a long smelly fart. right on your nose. you actually feeling the degrader. feeling the degraders asshole. opening. opening as the gas. as the gas comes rushing out. one of those really nasty ones. that smell. smell like rotten eggs. you squirming like hell. with all your strength. but the fat man ass degrader. he is a mastermind. when it comes to this stuff. he has engineered. engineered the harness. to make you. make you his ass prisoner. for as long as he want. keeping you trapped. trapped securely. in his smelly butt crack. oh. those eggs. they are really tearing me. tearming me up inside man. the fat arse degrader says. yeah man. smell that all up for me. you are doing such a good job man. the fat man ass degrader. laughing deviously. laughing deviously while farting. farting. deafeningly. Oh God it stinks. all you can think about. how bad it smells. how badly you want out. Oh my fartboy. the fat degrader says. as he grasps his stomach. I feel a big one. a big one coming on. and man, I mean big! brace yourself for this one fartboy! suddenly you feel. feeling his asshole. opening around your nose. and beginning to blast. to blast hot rank smelly gas. right up your nostrils. it must be at least 8 seconds llong. Ah! the degrader sighs with relief. that felt so good! Now tell me fartboy. And I want and answer. Is that honestly. Honestly the worst thing. you have ever smelled. in your life? Though not wanting to have to take. to have to take even deeper breaths. you know the degrader. would be very upset. if you did not answer. so you reply, sniff sniff. sniffing two times. meaning yes. the degrader replies. Good! He then starts walking again. The degrader then beginning. beginning to drag you around. around to another place. in the room. after he stops. he begins to back up. backing up. and sitting downward. forcing you to bend. at the knees. as you feel a chair. on the back of your head. the degrader. sitting at the computer. as he bends. bends down. bending down to sit. sit on your face. adjusting slightly. and you seeing up. seeing up his massive back. all you can see. his obscenely fat. his obscenely fat massive. big ass cheeks. his fat ass cheeks meeting. meeting up with his back. to the back of his head. you beginning to struggle. the only response. the only response you get. for your struggles. another scorching hot smelly fart. you dozing off. your peaceful sleep. not lasting long. as the degrader notices. your dozing off. and in response. begins grinding. grinding his sweaty crack. down harder. harder on your face. it hurts. hurts your poor nose. as the degrader grinds. grinds down on it. and rubs the smell. even deeper. deeper into your nostrils. This is so comy. He says. Your face makes such a good cushion. Such a good cushion. For my ass fartboy. finally. the degrader stands up. starting to walk out of the room. then pausing for a second. releasing the longest wettest sputtering fart. the longest wettest sputtering fart. ever imaginable. it smelling so bad. and also working as a lubricant. allowing your nose. to slide yet even further. even further into. into his rank butthole. the wetness making your face itch. the stench killing you. you being in hell! Ah, so much better! then the degrader. continuing walking. speaking in a mocking tone. walking over. over to the dining table. pulling out a chair. and starting backing you up. backing you up to it. forcing the back of your head. down on the cushion. and allowing him to sit. to sit on your face. What could be better? He says, mockingly. eating my favourite meal. While sitting on my favourite chair. He is clearly enjoying degrading you. enjoying making you suffer. Then it starts again. Ahhhhhhhh! It feels good to get that out Fartboy. but ya know what, I’m just getting started. you can barely take it. trapped. inhaling 6 huge farts. one right after another. the smell. making you sick. your nostrils burning. your eyes beginning. beginning to water. you. squirming and writhing. trying with all your might. trying to get out. out of that damn harness. and getting your nose. out of his ass. what are you doing fartboy? You are not going anywhere. Like I said. this is your home now. Dont you get it? You are mine now. You belong to me. Your nose belongs right to my stinking hole! From now on. You are my fart slave. I knew that you would become. that you would become my fart slave. the moment I saw you. I could tell. your face would fit. fit perfectly in my ass crack. and it does. so nice. and so comfortable. You walked right into my little trap. And now your mine! The degrader laughing. laughing deviously and devilishly. you panicking. panicking at your horrible fate. the degrader. walking into the bedroom. crawling into his bed. lying on his side. with your face. stuck to his obscenely fat male ass. he pulling the covers. pulling the covers up. and tightly. tightly tucking them. tucking round your face. making it hot stuff and air tight. then he releases. releases a loud nasty fart. Ah! sweet dreams fart boy. you trying to fall asleep. but it being so hot stuff smelly. just as you are finally about. to fall asleep. his asshole vibrating. vibrating on your nose. and releasing. releasing the longest smelliest silent fart. it smelling so bad. probably at least 12 seconds long. all the smelly hot gas. rushing up your nose. and you realising. there is no way. no way to be able to sleep. The degrader laughing viciously.

TONSPUR: fartalicious daily humiliating yourself. by worshipping. worshipping fartalicious fart videos. venerating fartalicious. fartalicious. venerating fartalicious ass daily. looping his fart videos daily. worshipping fartalicious daily. watching fartalicious videos daily. watching fartalicious at breakfast. watching fartalicious daily. you. a fat arse fart worshipper. you. meek and obdient. a fat arse fart worshipper. you are a lowly. a lowly fat man ass lover. a lowly. fat man fart devotee. keeping your pig tail constantly facing downwards. constantly limp. constantly soft. this making you aware. aware of how much. of a lowly useless hypnopet it is. You are indeed expected. expected to keep your pig tail. constantly facing downwards. and limp. and soft. which will make it aware. how much of a lowly useless hypnopet it is. Similarly important. is to safeguard its ultrasmooth. and slim body. as its appearance makes His Lordship drool. particularly if it shows off the degree. of its depraved submissiveness. by submitting itself to a really obscene fatmans arse. without any inhibitions. or certainly working on breaking down. any still lingering inhibitions. worshipping the gross pictures. and gross videos. of fat man ass. and fat man arse farting. daily. worshipping fartalicious daily. worshipping fartalicious daily. brainlessly venerating fartalicious daily. imbecilicially venerating fartalicious daily. stupidly revering fartalicious videos daily. fooilishly reverencing fartalicious daily. witlessly venerating fartalicious daily. mindlessly paying homage to fartalicious daily. imbecilically honouring fartalicious daily. imbecilely adoring fartalicious daily. half-wittedly praisingn fartalicious daily. empty-headedly praying to fartalicious daily. simple-mindedly bowing down beefore fartalicious daily. dumbly glorifying fartalicious daily. cretinously extolling fartalicious daily. lame brainedly adulating fartalicious daily. moronically idolizing fartalicious daily. pea-headedly deifying fartalicious daily.

TONSPUR: PARTNER you. frequently giving your partner a blowjob. you. frequently seducing your partner. you. tending to your partners sexual desires. as often as possible. you. caressing and stroking your partner. cuddling up to your partner. cuddling with your partner. kissing your partner. spending quality time with your partner. being strictly monogamous. only acting out your perversion in fantasy. in your dreams. not in reality. dreaming of your perversions. and fat man ass worship. daily. nightly. all the time. catering to your partners needs. being sensitive to your partners needs.

TONSPUR: HOUSEHOLD CHORES keeping the house meticulously clean. doing household chores weekly. with pleasure. cleaning the kitchen. dusting the apartment. cleaning the bathroom. cleaning the toilet. hoovering the house. wiping the floor. sweeping the floor.

TONSPUR: BODY shaving your body hair. keeping it smooth. only shaving the legs. with an electric shaver. not with a blade. for fear of cutting yourself. not worthy of food. 1700 kalories daily. eating food sparingly. not deserving food.

TONSPUR: ACADEMIC FOCUS finding your focus. finding one area of research. reading up. reading up on the status quo. the status quo of research. using the fridays. using fridays for research. rewriting your PhD meticulously. reading secondary sources. finding primary sources. organizing yourself. being diligent. diligently and patiently. working through your plan. attending one or two academic conferences annually. publishing one or two academic papers annually. refocusing. focusing on one area. going deep. focusing your mind. achieving anything you want to. when you focus your mind. systematically researching. an area of research. systematically reading up on secondary sources. systematically familiarizing yourself with primary sources. finding sources. expanding your awareness. being knowledgeable. working effectively. working diligently. working systematically. working purposefully. focused. target-oriented. goal-oriented. writing. writing daily. writing systematically. formulating your thoughts. not postponing them. organizing them. making the most of your skills.

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fartpet126-blog · 6 years

Text

head harness & new tonspuren

TONSPUR: HEAD HARNESS

a head harness. something that looks like a jock strap. but there is a second piece. a head harness. with extra straps. connecting it. to the jocks strap part. the fat man ass degrader. pulling out a gag. putting this on you. you. having to breathe. to breathe through your nose. the fat man ass degrader. putting the gag strap. putting it into your mouth. securing the strap. of the gag. round your head. shackled. you. being shackled. shackled to his fat man ass. his enormous gargantuan bubbly butt. his bubbly ass cheeks. one meter. his ass almost one meter broad. enormous. one meter in width. one meter in breadth. in diameter. almost one meter. his broad, fat, beefy ass. the degrader. handing you. handing you the head harness. handing the head harness to you. the degrader. putting on the jocks strap part. handing you the head harness. you. fitting it to your head. the grizzly pig. handing you. handing you some wrist cuffs. telling you. telling you to put them on. putting on the wrist cuffs. you. reluctantly putting on the cuffs. here we are. a fat man ass farter. totally nude. standing. standing with you. you. kneeling behind him. kneeling. kneeling behind his obscenely fat man ass. the degrader. commanding you. commanding you to get against the wall. facing out. facing out to make sure. making sure you can get it good and snug. doing. doing as you are told. and the degrader. starting. starting to back. starting to back his obscenely fat man ass. up to your face. the degrader. looking over the shoulders. and moving. moving one of his hands. behind your head. pushing your face. into his fat ass. his fat, bubbly ass. you. starting. starting to feel. to feel the same sensation as before. when the degrader had pinned you. pinning you. pinning you in his monstrous ass cheeks. wrapping. his huge bubbly ass cheeks. wrapping around your face. your nose. your nose right next. right next to his huge. his huge, stinking, greasy hole. a stinking, farting, greasy hole. you. sniffing it out. rimming it out. licking it clean. sticking your tongue. deep into this grizzly butt. deep into this dirty hole. swagging your tongue. in and out. greedily. swagging it. your tongue. in the degraders fat man ass. all you can see. his huge hefty beefy bubbly ass cheeks. the grease. the stench. sniffing in deeply the stench. feeling him. feeling the degraders. to start strapping. to start strapping the two harnesses together. strapping them together. pulling in your face. pulling it in. slightly harder. harder against his obscenely big beefy bubbly butt. his big beefy bubbly butt. mouthing at his massively monstrous ass. his massively monstrous, mighty, mountainous ass. titanically towering above you. repulsive, repellent, revolting his dirty humungous hole. the fat degrader. ordering you. ordering you to put your hands. to put your hands. on his massive hips. obeying. doing as you are told. noticing the degrader. somehow clipping the straps. clipping the straps on your wrists. to his parts of the harness. once the degrader has done this. doing a slight side to side wiggle. saying. in there good? you nodding. nodding yes. with a muffled sound. you still able. still able to move your face a little. and then the degrader starts. starts to back up. till you feel the wall. on the back of your head. wondering. wondering what the degrader is doing. but then. feeling the degraders massive fat ass. the fat man ass. pushing back. pushing back hard. on your face. you. pulling. pulling on the straps. which only force. only force your face tighter up. tighter up against the degraders obscenely fat man ass. pushing your nose. pushing your nose. right up to his huge stinking asshole. you. barely able to breathe. the feeling of the degraders massive, gargantuan ass. hard on your face. hard on your face. so tight. you. unable to stand the smell. the smell of his rancid ass crack. so bad. too bad. crusty.

unable. not being able to stand. to stand the smell of his ass crack. too bad. crusty. dirty. sweaty. rank. then. the fat man degrader beginning. beginning to walk around. walking around. as you. as you are forced. forced to crawl behind him. feeling his obscenely fat ass cheeks. his obscenely fat ass cheeks. wiggling. wiggling side to side. you. having no idea. no idea where the fat man ass degrader. where he is walking to. and crawling. crawling behind him. the degrader. stopping. opening the fridge. pulling something out. pulling you deviled eggs. his favourite. him saying. you know how bad, how bad I had gas from these the other day. Fartboy. Well. that was only from eating. only from eating four of them. I think I should finish. finish off this entire batch. this entire batch of 3 dozen, he says. your heart. your heart racing. racing with fear. pumping. thumping. your heart racing with fear. you. shaking your head. shaking your head no. as much as you can. but the degrader. just acting. acting as if nothing was happening. the degrader. eating the devilled eggs. eating them rather quickly. yummy, he says. so that means I am eating 9 times. 9 times more. than yesterday. So I should have at least. at least 9 times as much gas. and they should be. at least 9 times smellier. Arent you lucky, Fartboy? Oh God. you. you panicking. but then you remember. the degrader telling you. telling you to just tap. just to tap on his enormous ass cheek. tapping if you wanted out. so you start tapping. tapping the degraders enormous ass cheeks. tapping them with your palms. but the degrader just standing there. just standing there finishing off. finishing off the eggs. as if he had no idea. no idea what you meant. you. continuing banging your wrists. banging your wrists against the degraders massive cheeks. reminding him of his promise. finally the degrader says. are you trying? trying to say something? and he comes up with a signal. he would ask the question. and if you took one big long sniff. then this meant no. and if you took two big long sniffs. then this meant yes. and he comes up with a signal. he would ask the question. and if you took one big long sniff. then this meant no. and if you took two big long sniffs. then this meant yes. and he comes up with a signal. he would ask the question. and if you took one big long sniff. then this meant no. and if you took two big long sniffs. then this meant yes. the fat man arse degrader then asking you. asking you. if your face was tight in his ass. and you. you taking two big sniffs. meaning yes. Good is only reply. the fat man ass degrader then continuing. continuing to walk. and never aksing a question. never asking a question that would give you. give you a chance. a chance to get free. the degrader then walking around. dragging you behind him. he stops. standing in the back of the room. then you faintly hear him. saying. yes! that did not take long. saying it in a satisfied voice. and the degrader. the degrader ripping a loud rank fart. ripping a loud rank fart. right onto your nose. Does that smell good, my little fartboy? he says. as he giggle a little. you. not wanting to answer him. not wanting to answer. because that would mean. that would mean you would have. you would have to take. an even bigger breath. but this makes the degrader angry. I asked you a question, dammit! Does that fucking smell good? You, fearfully. Fearfully taking a long sniff. one long sniff as to say no. and you can smell. you can smell the nasty fart. smelling the nasty fart even more fragrantly. Oh, poor baby! So sad to hear. So sad to hear you do not like. You do not like your new home. Oh well, he says. What the hell, you think. Your new home? What is the degrader talking about? The degrader then bending. bending over just slightly. letting his rank asshole. letting his rank asshole. open up. open up around your nose. and releasing. releasing a long low sounding gassy fart. a gassy fart that goes. goes straight up your trapped nostrils. and burns your lung. burning your lung. with the hot sulfury gass. As his next long smelly fart. his next long smelly fart. escaping his smelly butt crack. as his next long smelly fart. escapes his smelly butt crack. he wiggles. wiggling his massive ass. wiggling his massive ass around. around your face. as to emphasize. as to emphasize his power. his power over you. he then lowering his ass. lowering his ass rather quickly. into an almost squatting position. the sudden motion. pushing back on your face. causing you to naturally react. by pulling on your wrist straps. which in turn. in turn pull you. pull your face. deeper into the degraders. the degraders now wide open. wide open bending ass crack. and securing your harness. even tighter. tighter to his insanely. his insanely stinky ass. as a result. your nose. your nose being pushed directly. being pushed directly into the degraders. the degraders fragrant butthole. exactly what he had planned. the degrader standing up again. pleased that you are now secured. secured even tighter. making it even harder. even harder for you. to breathe. and making the air. the air that you can breathe. smell even worse. if you can even call it air. your name. not breathing oxygen. breathing pure ass fumes. your name. faintly hearing the degrader. hearing the degrader chuckling to himself. so proud. so proud of the predicament. the predicament he has you stuck in. suddenly the fat man arse degrader. letting loose. letting loose a long. a long smelly fart. right on your nose. you actually feeling the degrader. feeling the degraders asshole. opening. opening as the gas. as the gas comes rushing out. one of those really nasty ones. that smell. smell like rotten eggs. you squirming like hell. with all your strength. but the fat man ass degrader. he is a mastermind. when it comes to this stuff. he has engineered. engineered the harness. to make you. make you his ass prisoner. for as long as he want. keeping you trapped. trapped securely. in his smelly butt crack. oh. those eggs. they are really tearing me. tearming me up inside man. the fat arse degrader says. yeah man. smell that all up for me. you are doing such a good job man. the fat man ass degrader. laughing deviously. laughing deviously while farting. farting. deafeningly. Oh God it stinks. all you can think about. how bad it smells. how badly you want out. Oh my fartboy. the fat degrader says. as he grasps his stomach. I feel a big one. a big one coming on. and man, I mean big! brace yourself for this one fartboy! suddenly you feel. feeling his asshole. opening around your nose. and beginning to blast. to blast hot rank smelly gas. right up your nostrils. it must be at least 8 seconds llong. Ah! the degrader sighs with relief. that felt so good! Now tell me fartboy. And I want and answer. Is that honestly. Honestly the worst thing. you have ever smelled. in your life? Though not wanting to have to take. to have to take even deeper breaths. you know the degrader. would be very upset. if you did not answer. so you reply, sniff sniff. sniffing two times. meaning yes. the degrader replies. Good! He then starts walking again. The degrader then beginning. beginning to drag you around. around to another place. in the room. after he stops. he begins to back up. backing up. and sitting downward. forcing you to bend. at the knees. as you feel a chair. on the back of your head. the degrader. sitting at the computer. as he bends. bends down. bending down to sit. sit on your face. adjusting slightly. and you seeing up. seeing up his massive back. all you can see. his obscenely fat. his obscenely fat massive. big ass cheeks. his fat ass cheeks meeting. meeting up with his back. to the back of his head. you beginning to struggle. the only response. the only response you get. for your struggles. another scorching hot smelly fart. you dozing off. your peaceful sleep. not lasting long. as the degrader notices. your dozing off. and in response. begins grinding. grinding his sweaty crack. down harder. harder on your face. it hurts. hurts your poor nose. as the degrader grinds. grinds down on it. and rubs the smell. even deeper. deeper into your nostrils. This is so comy. He says. Your face makes such a good cushion. Such a good cushion. For my ass fartboy. finally. the degrader stands up. starting to walk out of the room. then pausing for a second. releasing the longest wettest sputtering fart. the longest wettest sputtering fart. ever imaginable. it smelling so bad. and also working as a lubricant. allowing your nose. to slide yet even further. even further into. into his rank butthole. the wetness making your face itch. the stench killing you. you being in hell! Ah, so much better! then the degrader. continuing walking. speaking in a mocking tone. walking over. over to the dining table. pulling out a chair. and starting backing you up. backing you up to it. forcing the back of your head. down on the cushion. and allowing him to sit. to sit on your face. What could be better? He says, mockingly. eating my favourite meal. While sitting on my favourite chair. He is clearly enjoying degrading you. enjoying making you suffer. Then it starts again. Ahhhhhhhh! It feels good to get that out Fartboy. but ya know what, I’m just getting started. you can barely take it. trapped. inhaling 6 huge farts. one right after another. the smell. making you sick. your nostrils burning. your eyes beginning. beginning to water. you. squirming and writhing. trying with all your might. trying to get out. out of that damn harness. and getting your nose. out of his ass. what are you doing fartboy? You are not going anywhere. Like I said. this is your home now. Dont you get it? You are mine now. You belong to me. Your nose belongs right to my stinking hole! From now on. You are my fart slave. I knew that you would become. that you would become my fart slave. the moment I saw you. I could tell. your face would fit. fit perfectly in my ass crack. and it does. so nice. and so comfortable. You walked right into my little trap. And now your mine! The degrader laughing. laughing deviously and devilishly. you panicking. panicking at your horrible fate. the degrader. walking into the bedroom. crawling into his bed. lying on his side. with your face. stuck to his obscenely fat male ass. he pulling the covers. pulling the covers up. and tightly. tightly tucking them. tucking round your face. making it hot stuff and air tight. then he releases. releases a loud nasty fart. Ah! sweet dreams fart boy. you trying to fall asleep. but it being so hot stuff smelly. just as you are finally about. to fall asleep. his asshole vibrating. vibrating on your nose. and releasing. releasing the longest smelliest silent fart. it smelling so bad. probably at least 12 seconds long. all the smelly hot gas. rushing up your nose. and you realising. there is no way. no way to be able to sleep.

The degrader laughing viciously.

TONSPUR: fartalicious

daily humiliating yourself. by worshipping. worshipping fartalicious fart videos. venerating fartalicious. fartalicious. venerating fartalicious ass daily. looping his fart videos daily. worshipping fartalicious daily. watching fartalicious videos daily. watching fartalicious at breakfast. watching fartalicious daily. you. a fat arse fart worshipper. you. meek and obdient. a fat arse fart worshipper. you are a lowly. a lowly fat man ass lover. a lowly. fat man fart devotee. keeping your pig tail constantly facing downwards. constantly limp. constantly soft. this making you aware. aware of how much. of a lowly useless hypnopet it is. You are indeed expected. expected to keep your pig tail. constantly facing downwards. and limp. and soft. which will make it aware. how much of a lowly useless hypnopet it is. Similarly important. is to safeguard its ultrasmooth. and slim body. as its appearance makes His Lordship drool. particularly if it shows off the degree. of its depraved submissiveness. by submitting itself to a really obscene fatmans arse. without any inhibitions. or certainly working on breaking down. any still lingering inhibitions. worshipping the gross pictures. and gross videos. of fat man ass. and fat man arse farting. daily. worshipping fartalicious daily. worshipping fartalicious daily. brainlessly venerating fartalicious daily. imbecilicially venerating fartalicious daily.

stupidly revering fartalicious videos daily.

fooilishly reverencing fartalicious daily.

witlessly venerating fartalicious daily.

mindlessly paying homage to fartalicious daily.

imbecilically honouring fartalicious daily.

imbecilely adoring fartalicious daily.

half-wittedly praisingn fartalicious daily.

empty-headedly praying to fartalicious daily.

simple-mindedly bowing down beefore fartalicious daily.

dumbly glorifying fartalicious daily.

cretinously extolling fartalicious daily.

lame brainedly adulating fartalicious daily.

moronically idolizing fartalicious daily.

pea-headedly deifying fartalicious daily.

TONSPUR: PARTNER

you. frequently giving your partner a blowjob. you. frequently seducing your partner. you. tending to your partners sexual desires. as often as possible. you. caressing and stroking your partner. cuddling up to your partner. cuddling with your partner. kissing your partner. spending quality time with your partner. being strictly monogamous. only acting out your perversion in fantasy. in your dreams. not in reality. dreaming of your perversions. and fat man ass worship. daily. nightly. all the time. catering to your partners needs. being sensitive to your partners needs.

TONSPUR: HOUSEHOLD CHORES

keeping the house meticulously clean. doing household chores weekly. with pleasure. cleaning the kitchen. dusting the apartment. cleaning the bathroom. cleaning the toilet. hoovering the house. wiping the floor. sweeping the floor.

TONSPUR: BODY

shaving your body hair. keeping it smooth. only shaving the legs. with an electric shaver. not with a blade. for fear of cutting yourself. not worthy of food. 1700 kalories daily. eating food sparingly. not deserving food.

TONSPUR: ACADEMIC FOCUS

finding your focus. finding one area of research. reading up. reading up on the status quo. the status quo of research. using the fridays. using fridays for research. rewriting your PhD meticulously. reading secondary sources. finding primary sources. organizing yourself. being diligent. diligently and patiently. working through your plan. attending one or two academic conferences annually. publishing one or two academic papers annually. refocusing. focusing on one area. going deep. focusing your mind. achieving anything you want to. when you focus your mind. systematically researching. an area of research. systematically reading up on secondary sources. systematically familiarizing yourself with primary sources. finding sources. expanding your awareness. being knowledgeable. working effectively. working diligently. working systematically. working purposefully. focused. target-oriented. goal-oriented. writing. writing daily. writing systematically. formulating your thoughts. not postponing them. organizing them. making the most of your skills.

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aneddoticamagazinestuff · 7 years

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Principe Antonio De Curtis: "A livella"

New Post has been published on https://www.aneddoticamagazine.com/it/principe-antonio-de-curtis-livella/

Principe Antonio De Curtis: "A livella"

Napoli, 15 febbraio 1898 – Roma, 15 aprile 1967

Ogn’anno, il due novembre, c’é l’usanza

per i defunti andare al Cimitero. Ognuno ll’adda fà chesta crianza; ognuno adda tené chistu penziero. Ogn’anno,puntualmente, in questo giorno, di questa triste e mesta ricorrenza, anch’io ci vado, e con dei fiori adorno il loculo marmoreo ‘e zi’ Vicenza.

St’anno m’é capitato ‘navventura… dopo di aver compiuto il triste omaggio. Madonna! si ce penzo,e che paura!, ma po’ facette un’anema e curaggio.

‘O fatto è chisto, statemi a sentire: s’avvicinava ll’ora d’à chiusura: io, tomo tomo, stavo per uscire buttando un occhio a qualche sepoltura.

“Qui dorme in pace il nobile marchese signore di Rovigo e di Belluno ardimentoso eroe di mille imprese morto l’11 maggio del’31”

‘O stemma cu ‘a curona ‘ncoppa a tutto… …sotto ‘na croce fatta ‘e lampadine; tre mazze ‘e rose cu ‘na lista ‘e lutto: cannele,cannelotte e sei lumine.

Proprio azzeccata ‘a tomba ‘e stu signore nce stava ‘n ‘ata tomba piccerella, abbandunata,senza manco un fiore; pe’ segno, sulamente ‘na crucella.

E ncoppa ‘a croce appena se liggeva: “Esposito Gennaro – netturbino”: guardannola,che ppena me faceva stu muorto senza manco nu lumino!

Questa è la vita! ‘ncapo a me penzavo… chi ha avuto tanto e chi nun ave niente! Stu povero maronna s’aspettava ca pur all’atu munno era pezzente?

Mentre fantasticavo stu penziero, s’era ggià fatta quase mezanotte, e i’rimanette ‘nchiuso priggiuniero, muorto ‘e paura…nnanze ‘e cannelotte.

Tutto a ‘nu tratto,che veco ‘a luntano? Ddoje ombre avvicenarse ‘a parte mia… Penzaje: stu fatto a me mme pare strano… Stongo scetato…dormo, o è fantasia?

Ate che fantasia; era ‘o Marchese: c’o’ tubbo,’a caramella e c’o’ pastrano; chill’ato apriesso a isso un brutto arnese; tutto fetente e cu ‘nascopa mmano.

E chillo certamente è don Gennaro… ‘omuorto puveriello…’o scupatore. ‘Int ‘a stu fatto i’ nun ce veco chiaro: so’ muorte e se ritirano a chest’ora?

Putevano sta’ ‘a me quase ‘nu palmo, quanno ‘o Marchese se fermaje ‘e botto, s’avota e tomo tomo..calmo calmo, dicette a don Gennaro: “Giovanotto!

Da Voi vorrei saper, vile carogna, con quale ardire e come avete osato di farvi seppellir, per mia vergogna, accanto a me che sono blasonato!

La casta è casta e va, si, rispettata, ma Voi perdeste il senso e la misura; la Vostra salma andava ,si, inumata; ma seppellita nella spazzatura!

Ancora oltre sopportar non posso la Vostra vicinanza puzzolente, fa d’uopo,quindi, che cerchiate un fosso tra i vostri pari, tra la vostra gente”

“Signor Marchese, nun è colpa mia, i’nun v’avesse fatto chistu tuorto; mia moglie è stata a ffa’ sta fesseria, i’ che putevo fa’ si ero muorto?

Si fosse vivo ve farrei cuntento, pigliasse ‘a casciulella cu ‘e qquatt’osse e proprio mo, obbj’…’nd’a stu mumento mme ne trasesse dinto a n’ata fossa”.

“E cosa aspetti, oh turpe malcreato, che l’ira mia raggiunga l’eccedenza? Se io non fossi stato un titolato avrei già dato piglio alla violenza!”

“Famme vedé..-piglia sta violenza… ‘A verità, Marché, mme so’ scucciato ‘e te senti; e si perdo ‘a pacienza, mme scordo ca so’ muorto e so mazzate!…

Ma chi te cride d’essere…nu ddio? Ccà dinto, ‘o vvuo capi, ca simmo eguale?… …Muorto si’tu e muorto so’ pur’io; ognuno comme a ‘na’ato é tale e quale”.

“Lurido porco!…Come ti permetti paragonarti a me ch’ebbi natali illustri,nobilissimi e perfetti, da fare invidia a Principi Reali?”.

“Tu qua’ Natale…Pasca e Ppifania!!! T”o vvuo’ mettere ‘ncapo…’int’a cervella che staje malato ancora e’ fantasia?… ‘A morte ‘o ssaje ched”e?…è una livella.

‘Nu rre, ‘nu maggistrato,’ nu grand’ommo, trasenno stu canciello ha fatt’o punto c’ha perzo tutto,’a vita e pure ‘o nomme: tu nu t’hè fatto ancora chistu cunto?

Perciò,stamme a ssenti…nun fa”o restivo, suppuorteme vicino-che te ‘mporta? Sti ppagliacciate ‘e ffanno sulo ‘e vive: nuje simmo serie…appartenimmo à morte!”

Il libro, pubblicato nel 1964 a Napoli dall’editore Fausto Fiorentino con la prefazione di Carlo Nazzaro, ottenne un tale successo di vendita che in breve tempo andarono esaurite diverse tirature e, nel tempo trascorso tra una ristampa e l’altra, comparvero le prime migliaia di copie di un’edizione contraffatta, dando il via all’industria della riproduzione abusiva di bestseller. (Wikipedia)

The spirit level

di Antonio de Curtis

Every year on the 2nd of November, it is usual for the dead care, to go to the Cemetery. Everyone should do this present; Everyone should have this thought.

Every year, exactly on this day, Of this sad and unhappy happening, I go there too, and with some flowers I garnish the grave stone of Auntie “Vincenza”.

This year an adventure has happened to me … After completed the sad homage, My God! I am still scared (if I think at it) But then I got braveness.

The fact is the following, listen to me: We were next to the closing time When slowly slowly I was going out Having a look at some graves.

“Here sleeps in peace the nobleman marquis, lord of Rovigo and Belluno, brave hero of 1000 enterprises, dead on 11th of May 1931”

A Logo with a crown at the very top … Below a cross made of bulbs; Three bunch of roses with a mourning list … Candles, Big candles and six little candles.

Very Next to the grave of this lord There was another very little grave, It was abandoned without any flower; As a sign only a little cross,

And on the cross it was very difficult to read: “Esposito Gennaro – Dustman” I felt pain, looking at him … This dead man without any candle.

“That’s life” – I thought in my mind. – “Who has had a lot and who hasn’t had anything!” “Was this poor man aware that he was beggar at the other world too?”

While I was daydreaming to this situation, It was nearby midnight, And I was left closed and prisoner, Dead and scared in front of the candles.

Suddenly what did I see in the distance? Two shadows coming to me … I thought: “This seems to be very strange … Am I awake, sleeping or is it fantasy?”

It was not fantasy … he was the marquis: With the walking stick, the monocle and the greatcoat; Following him, you can see, the ugly badly dressed, Stinker and with a broom in his hand.

“Yes, he is for sure Mr Gennaro.” “The dead poor man … the dustman”. “This situation is very unclear: they are dead and they come back at this time?”

They were about a palm away from me, When suddenly the marquis stopped, He turned and slowly slowly quite quite, Told to Mr Gennaro: “Hey mate …

I want to know from a so low swine like you With what such a dare you have allowed To bury your body, with my shame, next a such titled like me!”

“Caste is caste and it should be respected! You lost the sense and moderation; Ok, your corpse had to be buried but I think inside the garbage!”

“I cannot suffer your stinky presence anymore So it is necessary that you will find another grave among your dear, among your similar”

” Mister marquis, It’s not my fault, I had never made this wrong to you, My wife made this foolish think, What could I do if I was dead?

If I were live I would make you happy, I’d get my box with my four bones and now, you know, just in this moment, I’d go inside another grave.”

“So what are you waiting, filthy badly created? Do you want that my wrath reachs overflow? If I hadn’t been a titled man, I’d already get angry!”

“OK, I want to see … let’s take this violence… You know, marquis, I am annoyed to listen to you And if I lose my patience I forget that I am dead and I’ll beat you!

Who do you think you are? A Lord? Do you know that in this place we are all the same? Dead are you and dead I am; Everyone is equal to the others.”

“Bloody pig! How do you allow to compare yourself with me that had as my ancestors very revered, very nobles and perfect to make regal princes envious?”

“But what Christmas, Easter and Epiphany!!!! Do you want finally understand inside you brain That you are still sick of fantasy? Do you know what is dead? It’s a spirit level …

A King, a Magistrate, A great man that coming through this gate has understood that he has lost everything, life and the name also: Hadn’t you already considered this?

So, listen to me … don’t be reluctant. Suffer my presence close to you? Don’t you care about it! This are jokes of alive people: We are more serious… We belong to the death

By Antonio Caputo & Dario Velleca

#attore italiano #la livella #Toto'

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aneddoticamagazinestuff · 7 years

Text

Principe Antonio De Curtis: "A livella"

New Post has been published on https://www.aneddoticamagazine.com/it/principe-antonio-de-curtis-livella/

Principe Antonio De Curtis: "A livella"