#stop fetishizing mental illness

[lazykurocat]

Aaron Bushnell Suicide Fetishist on my blog... ewwwww brother ewww what's that?? what's that brother?

#yucky #stop fetishizing Suicide #aaron bushnell was mentally ill #aaron bushnell #yeah... ew #stop it

[hyewka]

idk if this is allowed but,

threesome with yeonjun and beomgyu

⭑ fetish! | c.yj & c.bg ࿐

⭑ synopsis; when a late night conversation with soju and beer transforms into the calling out of choi beomgyus historical pattern of hook up bluffs the attention eventually shifts to you and your sex endeavors.

⭑ warnings; inexperienced!reader, sort of soft dom!yj & switch!gyu, cunninglingus, gagging, throat fuck, cum eating, unsafe sex, creampie, basically all of them are drunk to some degree, iffy word choice with consent but its all definitely consensual, doll/baby petname, childhood best friends/college au

⭑ note; i don’t know how to feel about this at all and i feel like i might wake up one day and just randomly despise it with my entire being but here is a threesome fic long overdue on this blog, take it with what you will because this might just be the last time i ever attempt to challenge my skills 😭

⭑ send in a small prompt with the format of (member) + (nsfw prompt) and ill write you a small drabble!

“So what if we didn’t go all the way, I still got to eat her out. Which she loved F.Y.I.”

Yeonjun snorts, downing his drink. “Dude you’re such a loser.”

“Just say you don’t get bitches like I do.”

You don’t mean to, but that’s what breaks your nonchalance, cracking up like that was the funniest thing you’ve heard.

Like clockwork, both of their heads turn to you expectantly, as if remembering that you’re here with them and you know you just messed up. Maybe if you keep looking at your phone they’d know to leave you alone.

This has been a thing since highschool; their dumb Who Gets More Action wars that served almost no purpose but to stroke their young male egos. More times than you could count, you’re for some reason sucked in as the end all be all judge even if there were others present they could go and bother with details of their sex life.

You’re not letting that happen tonight. You will not become Simon Cowell of who fucks more.

“Hey,” Beomgyu starts nudging you with his feet, annoyingly persistent. “Hey hey, get off your phone, what are you laughing at?”

Yeonjun easily swipes your phone from your hands making you throw your head back groaning. God, to hell with him. “Give it back!” you whine. He shrugs, stuffing your phone in his pockets. Asshole.

You glare at him with murder on your mind, but all that gets you is a condescending pout thrown your way.

“Ughhh I’m going to throw up, stop with the flirting.”

You throw your plastic cup at Beomgyu’s face, and he flinches back in the most dramatic sense ever. “Bitch.” you mutter.

Yeonjun ignores Beomgyu’s comment altogether. “Everyone knows I get more bitches than you Beomgyu. That’s why she laughed. Plus, you make up shit all the time.”

“I do not.”

“You do. You lied about Yoo Jimin.” You recall, giving up on getting your phone back.

Yeonjun makes a sound of remembrance, clasping his hands together. “That was actually so funny. Yoo Jimin. You’ve lost your mind.”

Beomgyu shoots you a betrayed look, “No way you believe his propaganda! We literally had sex! Halloween 2021!”

You give him a skeptical look, brows raised. Beomgyu could fool anyone, but he can’t fool Yeonjun, let alone you. Beomgyu and Jimin? Didn’t make sense. Not on Earth at least.

“That’s one person anyway who cares.” he mutters.

“Ryujin.” You name. “She’s lesbian Gyu. Even when she was questioning she would’ve rather killed herself than let a man touch her.”

Yeonjun barks into laughter, leaning into you. “Ryujin of all people is fucking mental man.”

“Two people, still very little.” he counters.

Was that a challenge? If he wanted to play this game, you would be an expert.

“Jihyo, Miyeon—”

“I fucked Miyeon.”

“Yeah but you said she let you fuck her in the ass, which! She revealed never happened.”

He gasps in horror, face dropped, like that had to be the most offensive thing hes heard.

“I literally have proof it happened, holy shit Miyeon’s a pathological liar.” Beomgyu fumbles his phone, eyes laser focused as his thumb swipes in rapid speed. You snicker, he’s such an idiot. You know he’ll turn up empty but hes on a mission so you let him be.

“Can you pass me the beer?” you mutter lazily, feeling the alcohol hit you now, making a grabbing motion to the can far from your reach.

“Sure you want more?” Yeonjun whispers, with a similarly lazy slur to his words.

You were all clearly buzzed out, sprawled on the floor of your living room, your table pushed to the side with multiple beer cans crushed in a mess. It’s your version of heaven— a little sad maybe, but it was the perfect mix of mundane and fun to you.

“Just beer.” You reply.

He nods, grabbing it for you and instinctively twisting the cap open. Hes’ always been like that, an acts of service sort of guy. The small flex of his veins when he does it is something you silently take note of. You’re so far gone with your small crush on him.

You clear your throat, snapping yourself out of it. “Thanks. Are you gonna give me back my phone or?”

He pretends to think it over, before clicking his tongue. “Nah, later.”

You roll your eyes, taking a sip from your can.

“We don’t get to hangout like this often, missed it y’know? So you can hold off your phone addiction for a bit and stop acting bratty.” he teases.

“Aye aye captain.”

He tuts at you, nudging your shoulder. “I literally cringe internally every time you say that.”

You hum, looking over at Beomgyu. Who is incredibly tense, almost frozen. “Why’d you stop scrolling?”

Maybe Yeonjun saw what you saw, Beomgyu’s face incredibly red, and eyes so weirdly fixed on his phone because he immediately scoots to him, nosy to take a look at his phone screen.

You study Yeonjun’s face. His brows slowly rise. And the only thing he says is “Damn.”

“What?” you ask, curiosity peaked. Nobody answers though, seemingly hypnotised by whatevers on Beomgyus screen.

Yeah, thats enough for your lazy ass to get up and see what they’re looking at.

…To say it’s not what you expect at all is an understatement.

The video playing has no audio, but the visual splayed out in Beomgyu’s hand is all it takes for your thighs to rub instinctively. The phone was obviously placed by the bedside, the view a little tilted, the girl with her face pressed onto the sheets as Beomgyu fucks into her mercilessly unrecognisable, the bed quite literally shaking to match his rhythm. Your face grows hot, and your throat dries, the video looks old because his hair is longer, messier, something that looked like it was from freshman year.

You’re surprised, it’s more than real. He really was going at it.

“I’m fucking her ass here.”

Holy shit. That must’ve hurt like a bitch.

“How would we know it’s Miyeon though?” Yeonjun says, eyes set on the screen.

Beomgyu forwards the video towards the end and lets it play—its the part where he picks up the phone and holds the girls head up by her hair, turning her over, capturing her face fucked out, a mix of spit and cum evidently all over, but more than that, its Miyeon’s face covered in filth.

You bite down on your lips, nervously looking at Beomgyu—who catches your stare. “What?”

You shake your head, dismissing him.

Truth is, this might’ve been the most you’ve seen from Beomgyu in this light. The light that you’ve heard plenty of, but obviously never thought you’d actually…see. Hes always been slutty, especially with him being infamous for his gross PDA on campus, but seeing it—seeing him actually fucking the light out of someone…you gulp down the lump stuck in your throat.

“You’re a freak dude.” Yeonjun says, laughing.

“But not a liar.”

“Nah you’ve yet to prove Jimins, wheres the tape?”

“You just wanna see her getting railed, touch luck bitch.” Beomgyu closes his phone making you realise you were still staring. “Hey, you good? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Beomgyu shifts his attention to you, making you nervous, shrugging his concern off.

Yeonjun speaks for you instead, a smirk plastered on his face. “She’s a virgin, basically saw something worse than a ghost.”

God, this again!

“I’m not a virgin holy shit Yeonjun!”

“I’m not a virgin holy shit Yeonjun.” He mimics annoyingly high pitched and you groan.

“I’m not. I’ve had multiple boyfriends before.”

“Three.” Beomgyu says, “You’ve had three boyfriends.”

“All very long and fruitful relationships, mind you.”

Yeonjun leans back on the couch, stretching his arms behind his back and you know this is a sign that he’s going to be a little bitch about this. “How far have you went?”

“All the way.” you glare back challengily, sipping on your beer.

“Had someone nut in your ass?”

You snap your head to Beomgyu in horror, upper lip quirked. Of course he’d be curious about that. “Damn I’m taking that as a no.”

You force a smile and flip him off rightfully. The little bitch sticks his tongue out at you in retaliation and you have half the mind to not smack him.

“Have you done it without a condom?”

You narrow your eyes at that. Yeonjun’s awfully curious, way too curious for someone whos never been curious. Seriuously, he’d be the last person to care for your sex life. Maybe Beomgyu—totally Beomgyu, but not Yeonjun.

“Is this an interrogation?”

Yeonjun shrugs.

“I—okay, I haven’t. I bet you guys haven’t either.” You immediately regret saying that, it’s obvious they’ve done something so trivial. And its even made more obvious when both of them start laughing maniacally.

Your face runs red, resorting to chugging more beer.

Beomgyu rests his head on your lap suddenly and you quirk your brow down at him. “What? Your thighs are comfortable.”

You narrow your eyes at him, skeptical of what exactly he’s trying to pull until Yeonjun’s asking you questions again after calming down from his laughing fit.

“Gotten fingered?”

“Well no shit.”

Beomgyus attention is piqued, “You have?”

“How else am I supposed to…you know..get prepped?” you say, coughing around the word.

Beomgyu snorts, “You just did the most virgin thing ever oh my god.”

“That’s why I don’t believe a single thing coming out of her mouth.”

“I’m not a virgin.” you say for the umpteenth time. When they both exchange silent looks, you clear your throat. “But, I might be a little…inexperienced. That’s it though, I’m not a virgin. I’ve had sex…like twice.”

Beomgyu shoots up, making you jump in shock. “Twice?!” he shouts. He looks at you like you might’ve just led the saddest life of the entirety of human history.“And three boyfriends? The math isn’t…”

“Well one of them believed pre-marital sex would have us damned so—”

“Oh yeahh, your Christian boy Mark.” Yeonjun marvels. “That guy was a total bitch.”

Yeah, Mark. The guy you thought you’d end up marrying someday, until he decided to cheat with an anal whore as you call it. Cheating on you in broad daylight, in the apartment you shared wasn’t enough, he tried to mansplain the difference between anal virginity and vaginal virginity right after he was caught.

You shudder remembering the scene.

“A little unrelated but I always sort of thought you guys fucked.” Beomgyu starts, breaking the silence. “Like at least once.”

You sigh, he’s never letting this sexual tension bullshit thing go. If anything, Yeonjun probably saw you in the least sexual light possible. Unfortunately. “No. No we haven’t Beomgyu, we keep telling you this.”

“You” He points a finger at you, “Keep telling me this. Not him. That’s suspicious.”

Yeonjun doesn’t say anything even as both you and Beomgyu stare at him— he just mixes his soju and beer together for another shot.

You relent, speaking up. “Yeonjun tell him we haven’t fucked so he can stop insinuating that we’re freaks behind closed doors 24/7.”

Beomgyu snickers at that, still toying with the fabric of your shorts. You think it’s just out of habit.

“Yeah, we haven’t.” Yeonjun finally confirms.

You widen your eyes at Beomgyu to taunt him, getting all up on his face, nonverbally celebrating an I told you so. He just rolls his eyes at you, a dumb smile on his face.

“But I want to.”

…What.

That has both you and Beomgyu frozen, his smile slowly dropping before he turns to face Yeonjun.

Your mind works overtime trying to process whether you heard that right, did it have any hints of a joke, why couldn’t you pick up on it then? Or whether all your life you’ve read it all wrong—is it the drinks speaking or? But drunk words are sober thoughts…right? Is he just-

“Huh?” Beomgyu’s the one to ask for a clarification first.

He only shrugs, proving that none of you heard him wrong. “I wanna fuck her. I mean, you’re hot I’m not being unreasonable.”

You don’t know how to respond without sounding like an even more awkward virgin, so you stay silent, trying to make sense of it in your own head. But when you catch Beomgyu slowly nodding from your peripheral vision like what Yeonjun’s saying makes sense, you painfully nudge him.

He whines, defending himself almost immediately. “What? He’s not wrong, you’re mega hot now.”

You squeeze your eyes shut irritated, “Don’t—god, don’t ever say ‘mega hot’ again.”

Beomgyu mumbles something intelligible, something that sounded like one of his sulky protests that you just ignore as the room falls silent again. Yeonjun seems completely unbothered of the atmosphere, drinking his somaek like this was just another normal day, like he didn’t just air out something that could potentially completely flip your entire dynamic.

The tension is thick, and it suddenly feels way too hot to be here anymore but then Beomgyu speaks up again. “Do you know how to suck a dick?”

You snort, not answering as you keep your eyes on the floor.

But it’s impossible to ignore him when he keeps staring at you, almost too intensely for a question you thought was to break the tension. You look to his face, and there’s no sign of lightheartedness anywhere. He was seriously asking. “So? Do you?”

You decide to humor him, anything to get over this suffocating silence. “Sort of.”

Yeonjun chuckles, “What does ‘sort of’ mean?”

You roll your eyes, frankly irritated that he’s even speaking right now. “Sort of means I can, but I don’t know if I’m …good at it.”

He hums in understanding, nodding. “Wanna test your skills out right now?”

Your eyes bulge out, blinking rapidly as you look at Yeonjun in shock. Did he seriously just…say that? Your face grows even hotter as you stutter around a response.

But before you could even form a proper response, Beomgyu says something first, whining into his hands. “I literally cannot be the only one really fucking turned on right now.”

At his words, your eyes instinctively look down to his pants and god, he wasn’t kidding. You don’t know how you haven’t noticed until now, but the imprint of his dick building a tent in his sweatpants has you looking away like you’ve just seen the most sinful thing ever. You don’t miss the small patch of wetness at the top either. You rub your thighs together again, this time you curse your body for reacting because most of their attention was collectively on you now.

Meaning, they would inevitably notice small details.

And that they did. Yeonjun laughs, but it has laces of mean-spiritedness that has your brain frying at a faster speed. “You aren’t the only one. Our little dolls’ horny as shit too, aren’t you? Look at you rubbing your thighs for just the little bits of friction.” Yeonjun says the last part with a pout, so condescendingly, his eyes heavy lidded with what you’re sure is lust.

That gets Beomgyu’s attention, who was lost in his own dilemma, who’s close enough to touch you, to do something, and that has you more nervous than the time you had to present an unfinished slideshow to the harshest professor in your major.

Your throat is dry again, and you can’t seem to get out a word no matter how hard you try. Beomgyu licks his lips momentarily, staring at you, waiting for something, maybe a cue? You don’t know, but they’re both definitely waiting.

Beomgyu’s impatient, and shameless, if that wasn’t already obvious enough. With a rasp to his voice, he whispers, “God, I really wanna touch you right now.”

And you whisper back, like this was secret gossip you’d exchange between yourselves at recess about who was mean to who, who liked who, except this time you’re all grown up, and he’s asking to…touch you. You look behind Beomgyu, Yeonjun very much invested in what’s happening makes you on the fence. “But it’ll—it’ll get…weird. Like, between us.”

Beomgyu’s quick to counter. “No, no it won’t, I promise. Everything’s going to be the exact same. Just baby, please. Let me take care of you.”

The use of a petname again has you biting down on your lips. You search his eyes, and he looks so…desperate, the sudden switch baffling to you, so different from how you usually see him. Is this how he gets with the girls he fucks? It’s so hot, you’ve never been met with this much enthusiasm.

Your feelings heighten even more when he whispers again at your silence, “Please, I’m dying here.”

You let out a breath you were holding in, nodding, “Okay, it’s—it’s okay. You can. Touch me I mean.”

This is the absolute last thing in the world you’d ever expected, like ever. Beomgyu touching you, ministrating your breasts roughly with his big hands through your top, kneeling between your legs, kissing all over from your jaw to your neck like he hasn’t gotten action in decades. It’s like everywhere, your skin scorches, every inch—and he’s so fiery, so harsh with his squeezes and bites that you’re so unprepared for, so unprepared in fact that your eyes already brim with tears, head becoming light with too much stimulation in too little time as you feel him play with your shorts in attempt to take them off.

Suddenly, Beomgyu’s shoved off you completely, having him fall on his ass with a thud. Your eyes fly open in worry, only to be met with Yeonjun way closer to you than earlier. “Dude, calm down you’re going too fast.”

Beomgyu rolls his eyes irritably, “You know you could’ve told me that without fucking throwing me off her, right?”

“Like your ass would listen.” Yeonjun mutters, refocusing his attention to you, “Come on, get up on the couch doll, I’ll show you how its done.”

You’re hesitant. You’re okay with messing around with Beomgyu—you are because he’s the best friend that you have zero romantic feelings for, but Yeonjun? You already have this…tiny crush on him that has been fostering since the dawn of times, a light lit then dimmed for years throughout the time you’ve known him…would this not set it on a full blown out fire? Are you ready to risk getting your rocks off to find out?

Yeonjun calls your name again, snapping you out of your reverie. “If you don’t want to I’m not gonna…”

“No no, um—sorry I was just, like, thinking. Sure.” you choke out, cheeks red.

Fuck it.

You situate yourself on the couch like he instructed, looking at Beomgyu for a second in semi-panic, but that horndogs too far gone to properly communicate with you through telepathy so you’re left a puddle, a little jittery as you nervously pick at the thread of the old couch, preparing yourself for whats to come.

Yeonjun smiles, slotting himself between your legs. “I’m gonna take it slow, ‘kay? Tell me if it becomes too much and I’ll stop.”

You nod, taking a deep breath then out to calm your nerves. You don’t have to help him out with pulling your shorts down, it’s like he’s so experienced that he knows how to get around it without you doing much. Which doesn’t help to make you relax…at all. He’s experienced, and you’re not. That’s a cause of a million worries running through your mind at the moment.

The air that had felt so hot earlier, feels cool now, and you shudder a little. “You’re drenched doll, that’s cute.”

Beomgyu finally sits himself next to you, hand on his crotch, slowly rubbing it out as he stares at what Yeonjun sees, craning his neck to get a good look. And you feel…so exposed, it makes your ears red with a mix of shame and arousal as you squeeze your eyes shut.

You jolt a little when you feel his tongue poking at your entrance through your panties—he’s slow as he licks up your slit, soaking your underwear more and more.

“Any of your boyfriends ever eat you out?” Beomgyu asks, hand squeezing his cock through his sweats, before having the genius idea of replacing his with yours—his warm hands resting on yours, guiding you to press down harder on his boner. As if he’s showing you—making you feel how big he is.

You shake your head to his question, and he airs out a chuckle. God, you really want to slap yourself for finding that so attractive. “Of course. Might as well be a real virgin.”

You want to retort back, you really do, because god forbid Beomgyu have the last word, but it's impossible when Yeonjun hooks his finger to push your underwear to the side because you're a goner, a goner the minute you feel his warm breath on your skin, and even worse when you feel his tongue lapping at your core, the direct contact making you gasp out a moan, jolting you awake, clearing your drunk daze.

"Yeonjun, Yeonjun shit-" you don't mean to tighten your grip on Beomgyu, but you do in response to Yeonjuns stimulation which has him hiss, bucking into your touch.

"Do that again. Harder. Touch me baby, yeah, just like that." He babbles, holding onto your wrist, groaning when you oblige, wrapping your hand on his clothed shaft and squeezing the base.

Yeonjun looks at you through lidded eyes, his hands firmly keeping your legs apart, nose brushing against your clit every so often to tease before he finally decides to flatten his tongue against it, finger prodding at your entrance at the same time, making you inexpectantly arch your back, moaning. "F-fuck Jjun!"

You could feel the smirk, the cockiness radiating off him— it oozes even, it's so evident he likes this dynamic, you so reactionary to each little thing he does.

Beomgyu helps you palm his dick before he finally relents, too horny out of his mind, shoving your hand down his pants, making you feel his hot dick, so sticky and wet, it's lewd. "'Move your hand baby, c'monnn. Good girl." He groans, trying to guide you to a speed he finds fitting.

You start getting the hang of it, your hand jerking off his dick without help even as you're practically dumbed out with Yeonjun's tongue working at your sex, trying to purposefully make you lose your mind.

“Pussy so good doll, so good.” his words muffle against your core and it sends a vibration that has your pace falter.

Suddenly, Yeonjun detaches, making you feel terribly empty, and horrible because you were sure you were close. Before you could complain, your eyes widen at him unbuttoning his jeans, dropping them to the floor to have his cock flinging out of his boxers. He gives it a couple strokes, breathing heavy as he stares at your pussy. Wet with his spit, messy. He groans, biting his lips raw and you’ve just never felt so much as a prey until now. “Gonna fill you up soon, don’t worry doll.”

“Pay attention to me too,” Beomgyu whines, kissing your neck again, the space under your earlobe, his teeth grazing against your skin, just begging to have your attention. “Unfair if it’s only him.” he breathes, kissing and kissing and kissing, until he decides to move up to your lips, taking you up a wind as you jerk his dick off faster.

His whines and mewls melt into the sloppiness of the kiss and god is it the hottest thing ever, shit.

Yeonjun basically breaks the kiss by pushing Beomgyu off of you again, and if you had half the mind to think, you would’ve caught the irritation radiating off Beomgyu at Yeonjuns constant cock blocking.

You can’t think now, not when Yeonjun’s lining his dick up with your hole, feeling his hot tip prodding and your pussy fluttering around nothing to suck him in. “Ready? Relax yourself so it’ll feel good, ‘kay?”

You nod, humming.

“Words princess.”

“I’m—I’m ready Jjunie.”

He gives you a crooked grin, fingertips digging into the plush of your hips.

You try, you really do, you try giving them both an experience but the more Yeonjun pushes himself in you, the slower your hand becomes until you finally let go, breathing heavy at the inexplicable feeling of just…fullness. When he’s flush and snug against your core, completely inside you, he relishes, he stays there, eyes fluttering closed with his face so, so close to yours.

And he whispers to you, words Beomgyu can’t possible hear even if he wishes to, and even words you could’ve missed if you weren’t so in tune with every single sense that you’re feeling right now.

“Wish he wasn’t here when I could finally have you.”

You’re driven over the edge, not even given the time to process, before he’s drilling his dick into you—in then back, slowly before he’s building up to snapping his hips, having you gasp in shock at each thrust. You let the stray tear run down, hell, at this point you’re giving all autonomy of your body to the two boys right now, you’re not in control of anything anymore.

“Tight, so tight and warm,” he groans, getting faster, “Shoulda prepped you more, huh? Fuckin’ tighter than a virgin, can barely move.” He laughs breathy.

You just nod, nod at whatever filthy shit he says, tightening your grip on the couch, squeezing your eyes shut at how the pain just bleeds into the pleasure. You’ve never had it like this with your past boyfriends, it never felt like this.

Suddenly, you feel something hot poking at your cheek which spurs you to open your eyes. Your eyes damn near almost bulge out at Beomgyu’s size, cock insistently trying to move past your lips.

“Want your mouth, please, fuck.”

Can you even take that in your mouth?

He doesn’t wait for your contemplation, that’s not Beomgyu’s thing. He does it anyway, managing to slide his dick in your mouth, not even letting you get used to it like Yeonjun had even when he’s a lot bigger, pushing all the way in. He throws his head back, groaning curses as you gag around his length, breathing restricted.

“God you’re so hot like this, princess. Taking my cock so well,” he growls, moving his hips to fuck your mouth. Your eyes water, burning as the taste of him overpowers your senses— all of that paired with Yeonjun’s rhythm getting rougher and more frantic has you lose yourself in ecstasy you don’t think you can handle.

You think you might just faint.

“Have you always been like this? So good at sucking cock, slutty throat just waiting to be stuffed with dick?” Beomgyu rambles filth, losing himself faster than Yeonjun, looking down at you with so much hunger. You return his gaze, blinking up at him innocently, as if to disagree. You’re not slutty, you aren’t.

But that seems to spur him on a completely different direction, like something snapped inside him, cursing loudly as he ruthlessly starts fucking into your mouth. Your mind clouds, dizziness setting in as you feel Yeonjun attach his lips to your nipple through your flimsy top, sucking harshly, making a mess of your shirt with his spit.

You garble around Beomgyu’s dick, trying to say something but it only comes out intelligible and like complete nonsense, it’s humiliating.

“God, you’re sucking me in so greedily, want me to fill you up with my cum so bad, huh?”

Yeonjun slaps your ass and you jolt again, snot and mascara running down your face. He starts kneeding your cheeks, snapping into you rougher, and somehow deeper, you fucking lose it. “You want it so bad, right? Say something baby, or I won’t give it to you.”

You nod, mouth still stuffed with Beomgyu’s cock, who he isn’t intent on stopping any time soon.

It’s enough for Yeonjun you guess because before you know it, you feel hot substance shoot up, filling you to the brim with his cum, still pumping it in even as your orgasm washes over you. You’re beyond overstimulated, especially when Beomgyu cums around the same time, his hot load forcing its way down your throat.

He holds your head against his abdomen, groaning the more he defills you. “Fuck if you do that I might just fall for you,” he growls, voice down octaves, fixating his eyes on how your throat gulps down his cum like it’s water at the Sahara. The taste is so strong, you start coughing up some of it out when his dick flops out of your mouth sticky, finally regaining your breath, gasping for air in large amounts, your cunt spilling Yeonjun’s seed onto the couch slowly, dribbling down to the floor to make a mess.

Beomgyu suddenly pushes Yeonjun out of the way to slot himself between your legs, kissing at your pussy.

“Beomgyu, don’t, can’t—stop, too much-” you try reasoning but he doesn’t listen, that brat. He just starts going at it, lapping at the cum spilling, his lips glistening with the wetness, alternating between kissing and licking your cunt. “‘Course you can baby, you can take it.”

You bite down hard on your lips, lightheaded as you look down at the man ravaging your pussy and cleaning you up at the same time.

To hell with that ‘nothing’s going to change’ bullshit promise, something definitely changed tonight and you can’t put your finger around what.

#txt smut #beomgyu smut #yeonjun smut #yeonjun hard hours #beomgyu hard hours #txt hard thoughts #txt hard hours #txt x reader #beomgyu hard thoughts #yeonjun hard thoughts #✶ ━━ rana ; answered

[princescribbler]

5 Common Misconceptions of ABDLs!

To be clear, these are common misconceptions ABDLs have, not common misconceptions ABOUT us ABDLs!

1. "My kink is so rare!"

Really? Because candidly, abdl, ageplay, and diaper fetishism intersect in a fascinating way. There are diaper fetishists who despise any form of ageplay or regression, there are ageplayers who get off on the Ageplay, or the diapers, or the humiliation, teasing, or any other aspect of the kink. And candidly, you can tell ABDL really isn't that uncommon when the communities that show up are this large and varied. Heck, there's entire communities on reddit with tens of thousands of abdls, and that's just one site (and not the most kink friendly space to begin with.) Add in the fact that many people are very embarrassed or worried about this kink and you've got an even better explanation for why it can FEEL very rare or isolating... but it often comes down to just being hard to find, at first!

2. "Nobody vanilla will accept me! They must all think I'm a freak" (or similar negative expectation setting)

Except.. they do, all the time, every day. I've personally avoided most vanilla relationships, but I know MARRIED abdl couples who started with one partner totally vanilla, and some of the biggest and most successful content creators in this space are well known for having partners not into ABDL.

Simply put, if you assume it'll go wrong and you'll be judged, your body language, words, and tone can be much more nervous and defensive and make your partner feel ill at ease. Try to not go in with negative assumptions!

3. "I have to find a caregiver to feel little!"

Uh... no you don't. Your kink might involve a partner, your desires might include one or more people around to care for you or dominate you or join you in diapered submission... but none of that means you can't enjoy still, and have a GREAT time. You can try to foster your own regressive or littlespace mindset, happily. And you don't need ANYONE else to enable that. If you're expecting that just having sometime else around will fix things, you're sadly incorrect! You need, at some level, to be comfortable enough to not just rely on EXTERNAL enforcement of your abdl side!

4. "I should get rid of [x] because I feel embarrassed/bad/upset!" (Or any similar variant of the binge/ purge mentality)

Binge and purge cycles happen, and can be very emotionally destructive. Try to instead put the object in storage instead of throwing it out, because often your emotional negative response will only get worse when you later regret it or judge your own reaction.

Try to give yourself the space to struggle, but don't just throw things away or destroy them if they're kink items... instead, realize you might feel differently later and give yourself the grace to be allowed to change your mind without any further fear or judgment!

5. "Everybody can tell if I'm padded/ little/ going out discretely!"

No they can't. I could stop there but truly let's consider this: you realize that incontinence is common... shockingly common. You've passed people in adult diapers, pull ups, discrete pads, you've likely even been in a room with another heavily diapered adult and NEVER realized. Because unless you're being obvious, have leaks, or make a point to wear very form fitting clothing, nobody will notice or likely even look! You're much less exposed than your brain makes you think!!

My point is this: be nice to yourself, and work hard to challenge those negative self talk moments that come up for so many abdls. Your interests and desires aren't as rare as you think, more people are ok with it than you realize, nobody can usually tell even if you are padded (and would be more likely to assume it medical than kinky even if they noticed), and struggling with this is normal too!

BE NICER TO YOURSELF: THAT'S THIS PAPI'S ORDERS! You don't deserve to feel bad about something that helps you feel good!

And as always; stay happy, stay healthy, and stay kinky!

- Scribbler

#ab/dl babyboy #ab/dl lifestyle #ab/dl kink #mdlb relationship #cg/l relationship #giggle-byte #24/7 diapers #giggle byte #mdlb dynamic #md/lb

[just-antithings]

I know “puriteen” is a controversial term but I think a really good example of what that behavior actually entails is seeing a 15 year old trying to tell an autistic adult who made a meme about being sexy to "stop sexualizing autism" when in reality autistic adults are already treated like (adult) infants who can't possibly know their own feelings or emotions

It's ableist as hell and already a commonly held belief, especially by conservative groups, but here, this 15 year old/9th grader was likely assuming they were fighting against the “fetishization” of a group

Or as another example, there’s a different case where the poster was also 15 and who called out a physically disabled artist for daring to try sexually empowering himself through art in a way that made them uncomfortable, which resulted in the artist being bullied by thousands and shamed off of social media.

Just the act of combining sexuality with a minority group becomes a heinous act of “fetishization”, even if the person is from said group. They think they're being helpful when in reality they're pushing regressive and abusive anti-sex ideas they don't understand on strangers

So here you have middle- and or highschoolers harassing adults about their own sexuality when they shouldn't be talking to them about those things at all, and at the same time they’re spreading harmful attitudes and misinformation amongst themselves while thinking they're the good guys

That's why it's so harmful, and why so many people are making a stink about it. It's not safe for either party, only contributes to abuse, and should not be happening at all

Also this behavior basically works to turn the predator narrative on it's head: “This marginalized person who was minding their business was fetishizing themselves so THEY'RE the predator who's abusive and dangerous to others; not me for directing a hate mob their way.”

That's why this behavior is so dangerous to people who are either queer/LGBTQIA+, disabled, neurodivergent, sexual survivors, or mentally ill etc. because those people are already disproportionately abused and framed as predators for simply existing as themselves.

This behavior does nothing to challenge or topple abusive institutions but actually upholds them by offering nothing new; just reinventing the wheel of oppression and abuse in the name of “they don't know what's best for themselves, I know what's best for them“

👆👆👆👆

#mod erin #ask #just anti things #abuse mention #you’re right and you should say it

[missmastectomy]

Soo this is awkward. I’m a detrans woman and figuring out what on earth went wrong. I’m making this new blog to vent and get my thoughts about gender out there. I hope I can help at least a few detrans people, and also show a side to detransition most people don’t see.

I used to believe in trans identities with so much conviction. I really thought a person could have a soul that didn’t align with their sex. I was a dysphoric non-binary person who took T and had a double mastectomy, both of which I deeply regret. I now realize I was suffering from mental illness and latched onto my gender dysphoria to explain why I hated my body. Little did I know as a 15 year old that I hated myself because I felt victimized by adult men. In my subconscious I thought that removing my breasts would free me and my body would feel like my own. Now, I just feel that what I actually did was allow another man to violate me. It is difficult to feel like my body is my own, but I refuse to dissociate from it anymore.

That’s really what the trans identity is. Extreme, debilitating sex dissociation. Body dysmorphia that at the end of the day is not special. It’s not innate, it’s not incurable. It is a product of society’s failure to accept gnc people. For some, it arises from sexual fetishes. For others, victimization. I ran away from my body because it became my enemy. It was simply not safe to exist as female in the world. I thought it would save me, but it didn’t, and the only thing I have to show for it is two scars and a lifetime of trauma.

If there is such a thing as trans joy, there is also detransition rage. I was lied to by my endocrinologist. I was pressured into a mastectomy by my surgeon, though at the time it didn’t take much to convince me. I was failed by my therapist, who focused so much on my dysphoria that she totally neglected to ask where it came from. I transitioned as a minor and I will never forgive the trans community for pushing this on kids.

This is my attempt to find some level of empowerment. I used to bite my tongue, but I will no longer try to be palatable to people who disrespect women, homosexuals, and blatantly disregard children’s safety and rights. I am done with you.

I love to debate and I am open to talking to anyone, especially detransitioners. If you are ever doubting your identity as trans, stop what you are doing. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.

#detrans #radical feminism #detransition #ftm detransition #radfem #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do touch #radical feminists do interact #gender critical

[sleepykyupid]

original callout post is by @menheratic !! if you want more info, please ask them. i am merely reuploading the original callout post of ezaki. please do check out the link of the jp community calling him out in 2019 ^^ https://togetter.com/li/1327770

! The following post talks about the various bad things that Menhera-chan's creator, Ezaki Bisuko, has done.

Here a japanese summary of all the shit he did so far, including but not limited to:

• registering Yamikawaii as trademark

• sending his fans after gyaru YouTuber Usatani to harass her into a suicide attempt over unknowingly buying a shirt with stolen PPG fanart he drew

• himself buying products with stolen art, even promoting their sales, because it’s totally ok when he does it

• the reason why Usatan’s original design was changed aka it was a ripoff of Cult Party’s iconic rabbit mascot that was designed by their artist Maromika-chan

• wrote a whole guide on how to legally get away with sex work as child

• proof of him tracing art for the more detailed MCH artworks

• how he attended the Menhera Exhibit only to smear misogynist bullshit with blood on maxipads

• complaining about how anime for little girls are evil feminist agenda TM because ain’t nobody need men to be saved anymore

• boasting about being a fashion designer only selecting the finest fabrics for his merch when it’s actually made by the japanese equivalent of Redbubble

• “parody” works featuring child characters like Chibi Maruko-chan prostituting themself, the message being all women are whores regardless of age for the right amount of money

• the small “terms and conditions” shield he has at his con booths where you agree that you need to buy anything you touch

• how he setup an earthquake victim fundraiser only to keep the money

• telling his english fans they are not allowed to use any of his art for private use, like as icon, unless they pay him

• how he wants to move to the US when he turns 30 because of all the evil haters TM in Japan

• copyright claiming everyone left and right

• japanese Menhera speaking out about he keeps hurting the community

In regards of the maxi pads:

TW, CW // nooses, misogynistic text in red on maxipads

Our favorite being the second row second one, “Abortion is murder”.

Some more recent event: When he started harassing and hating on disabled people after Tokyo Fashion translated a Tweet of his because being disabled is discriminating yourself.

It’s like a trainwreck that refuses to end, now with 100% more crypto on NFT while shitting on those who warn about the dangers.

His NFT sales can be found here: https://foundation.app/@bisuko_ezaki

For some reason, after 7 years, he also decided to re-release the infamous wrist-cut bracelet to sell at events. The leader of the Neo-Decora group bought one for example:

TW // Bracelet that imitates sh, includes blood

Also keeps doing collabs with “Tokyo Uragawa” under Yamiko so Seigi (Mental illness is justice), which focuses on self-harming girls as fetish objects.

TW, CW // drawn sh

Recently, he also wrote a long-article on his definition of Yamikawaii:

https://harajuku-pop.com/67775/

Still not sure where overseas people got “this is about mental health awareness” from, might be based on mistranslations because the word for mental health and illness is one in the same, and his definition is about glorifying mental illness. In fact, this is why he was banned from Tumblr because he kept posting other people’s self-harm photos to his aesthetic blog Menherabusu.

Next up: Made suicide baiting posts over his following decreasing in the hopes of getting attention, fans sent him photos of cute animals to cheer him up, and he decided to post about destroying the pictures.

Tbh, this list could go on forever as he does this kind of bs on an almost daily basis now, but apparently people don’t care enough to stop throwing money at him.

Meanwhile the Japanese community made a whole Wiki for tracking all of his drama considering how much it is by now.

https://ezabisumatome.wiki.fc2.com/

TW // mention of shotacon

Decided to nickname himself Shotabi, the name being a combination of Shotacon and Bisuko, while using nsfw anime edits of male child characters in sexual situations as decor for his selfies.

𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝:

Is it ok to still like Menhera-chan?

𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫:

Sure, the problem is really only Ezaki himself and his increasing problematic remarks fueled by his ego, the manga is a lot older than him being like that.

Fun fact: Ezaki actually hates Menhera-chan because it's the only thing he ever gets approached for by the media, he constantly rants about this on Twitter. If you have noticed, he barely makes new MCH content anymore (unless he gets paid for it) and mainly reposts old artworks and fanart (without permission) instead because it's the only way he can still get attention as his other works, like the misogynist Manapisu, which is just him hating on women as "dumb wh*res" as a manga, flopped badly.

Just try to not fund his bs by buying new goods.

#menhera #menhera chan #bisuko ezaki #archived #yamikawaii

[museumofferedophelia]

The issue at the centre of the trans movement is that fetishists, opportunists and misguided children are not distinguished from people who genuinely suffer from dysphoria/dysmorphia. In fact, the majority of the trans community pushes strongly for all of them to be classed together.

The vast majority refuse to acknowledge that there are shades of grey. That there are men with fetishes and groomed children mixed in with actually suicidal dysphoric people who have exhausted every other avenue. People who accept their biological sex, but present socially as the opposite because they are suffering from a mental disorder (WHICH IS WHAT DYSPHORIA IS).

The exponential growth of the detrans community shows that a distinction needs to be made.

The trans community needs to do better. Stop treating a mental problem like a fun cool revolving door open to everyone, even abusers and predators capitalising off of the protections offered to trans people.

Stop treating mental illness like a mystical, spiritual incongruence between body and soul, feeding the delusions of people who need help, not religion.

#trans #transmasc #transfemme #transgender #trans man #transphobia #radblr #radfem friendly #radical feminists do interact #lgb #dropthet #feminism #terfblr #terf #gender critical #radical feminism

[mlmxreader]

https://www.tumblr.com/mlmxreader/743699285536915456/people-really-do-need-to-examine-both-their

hi, genuine question but would you mind elaborating on this post? bc i read a lot of nikto fics and would like to educate myself on which instances they r fetishizing him (i assume its about him since u tagged him x reader)

thank you!

of course!

so, when I talk abt fetishisation of mental illness (in this case dissociative disorders & psychotic disorders specifically), I'm also talking about romanticisation and glorification of them; so, something I've seen a LOT within fanfic, headcanons, fan art, etc in terms of Nikto specifically is this idea that somehow his mental health issues make him "uwu so soft" or they make him scared, innocent, infantilised, etc. they treat a very serious, very GENUINE, mental health disorder as something is NOT serious or genuine, but rather, something that causes somebody to be "cute" and "adorable".

this idea that somehow mental health disorders turn you into LESS of an independent grown adult and somehow mean that you need help with everything. which simply isn't the case.

it's the portrayal (specifically) of Nikto being the "perfect" mentally ill person - he doesn't exhibit the "scary" symptoms, such as episodes where he lashes out and accuses people of not being real, or where he doesn't experience positive symptoms like delusions and voices in his head. or that somehow he experiences symptoms and episodes which DON'T scare him.

which isn't to say that EVERY SINGLE fan creation regarding Nikto SHOULD portray these things (bc G/d knows the cod fandom is NOT a safe space for ND people w stigmatised disorders as it is, esp not people w dissociative, personality, psychotic and schizospec disorders), but it IS saying that these things DO exist and should at the very least be ACKNOWLEDGED as part of the character.

on the flip side, it's also the fact that a large majority of fanfics, fan art, headcanoms, etc ALSO take away his disorder completely; suddenly he's neurotypical, or his symptoms simply DON'T exist and even the canonical mannerisms he has BECAUSE of his disorder (such as speaking as a group by using words like "We" instead of "I") simply are nonexistent. or making his symptoms line up MORE with *anxiety* disorders instead of dissociative disorders.

all in all, it's this ideal that either Nikto is "uwu soft bby boy who's going to cry if you're not close!!" or he's just... not mentally ill?? at all??

which is shitty!! it's shitty!! as someone who HAS been on the receiving end of this treatment due to being mentally ill myself and being schizophrenic, it's the type of fetishisation that people BELIEVE is ending the stigma against these disorders but is literally just turning them into something DESIRABLE instead.

BUT in all honesty? it shouldn't come as a shock whatsoever given the fact that the cod fandom is INCREDIBLY saneist and EXTREMELY disrespectful towards anyone who has a disorder such as Nikto's; it is NOT a safe space for people like me, in the slightest, and people refuse to do better and to learn how to just Not Be Shitty.

it shouldn't come as a shock that Nikto is treated the way he is when people go around w slurs in their urls (esp "schizo"), or when people use terms like "delulu". the cod fandom NEEDS to do better and NEEDS to stop being shitty towards people w "scary" mental health disorders.

#asks #anonymous #nikto x reader

[thelesbianpoirot]

could you plz talk about your thoughts on poor things. I havent found the courage to watch it yet and id love to hear your takes on it

I like Yorgos Lanthimos films, he deals in absurd fucked up little worlds, I've seen Lobster, Dogtooth, and The killing of... and enjoyed them. They usually tackle something fucked up in society. How these characters live is deranged, we are also doing these deranged things, but we've normalized it so much that the absurdity on us is lost. Lobster - Our fixation on romantic partnership to the point people who choose not to participate in this societal arrangement as treat unfairly and left out of many areas of society. So where is an absurd situation is where this society forces you to be partnered or you are not human anymore. Killing of a sacred deer (TO ME) was about how we're at the mercy of powerful men with vices (and perversions) that can ruin our life without consequences, the drunk surgeon ruins a family by killing someone, the male doctor has a very scary fetish, assaulting unconscious women etc, when you realize the fallibility of men in charge of our lives, horrifying, so here is an absurd situation where someone has ultimate power and characters have no control. It is horrifying to be powerless to human men. I have been a woman who had to be sedated for a procedure, with a male doctor, my greatest fear was being taken advantage of, it would make me throw up to know my doctor had a fetish for having is wife pretend to be dead/unconscious while they had sex. That is what I took from that film. That is what made it powerful for me. POOR THINGS I thought when people were criticizing it they may not have gotten the satire, (I thought) it was supposed to be about how people only love women, the concept of women, if we are eternally girls, never mature, and always giving them carte blanche to exploit us and have a smile on the entire time. The prostitute who loves sex with random strangers for money, always sexual, always flirting, she just can't control herself. The stripper who loves being an exhibitionist, she's just a freak and has to share it. The woman who loves pain, it turns her on to be hurt by men. We've seen her on TV and in porn. I expected this to be an exploration of how men love this fake woman, and want to control her, because if she loves sex, they should be in control of who she has sex with or it is no longer fun for them. I thought this was going to be another "LOOK AT THE ABSURDITY" of such a woman. She doesn't exist. And if she did, she'll have to be brain dead, literally a shell of a mature adult woman who has killed herself because she cannot cope with this world. An analogy for how the sex industry takes advantage of drug using and mentally ill women. HOWEVER, director man wants to have his cake and eat it too, satirizing the exploitation of women, while exploiting a woman doesn't not make good satire. You're just doing the thing you're condemning. Satirizing sexualization of mentally unwell women, while actively eroticizing fucking someone with the mental IQ of a child is not good. Men already have a fetish of taking advantage of women with developmental issues, would loved if fuckin children was legal, and here you have talented actress Emma Watson making a fucked-stupid face right out of hentai. And she's being alluded for doing what porn actresses do every day, the voice and facial expression that makes me want to throw up. The film more goes on it stops being about (what I viewed, me personally) as a critique of the sex industry, and became about controlling a woman's sexuality, with no character there to present a feminist path that isn't BEING USED BY ANY MAN VS BEING CONTROLLED BY ONE MAN.

HERE IS A SHORT VIDEO of how I don't like satire of objectification/sexualization that uses objectification/sexualization to say it's message. But also I don't even think poor things are anti-sexualization, it is mainly about autonomy, the autonomy of women to sexually exploited. The exploitation isn't criticized, marriage is, a child like woman with unquenchable sexual lust belongs to the world, not one man it says. It was gross to watch and I felt icky. Not the kind of grossness that Killing of a sacred deer felt like, which was necessary to feel uneasy because feeling powerlessness is not comfortable. However, it is up to you to watch the movie and make up your mind, I am just annoyed that when it came to tackling women's issues acclaimed directors always fumble the ball.

#thelesbianpoirot

[lexyychinchillaa]

so i havent really be keeping up with the TOTA Takeover (i was watching doctor who all day everyday) BUT i will do this last one.

i think the show is wonderful. it discusses mental illnesses without making it the entire plot or entire personality of characters. it displays it realistically and doesnt romanticise (by this i mean they didnt just show positive things or ignore it completely) or... obsess over it, i suppose. it wasnt completely focused on the characters "flaws" or illness. while they were mentioned, they actually still made the characters relatable and realistic, as opposed to (imo) Heartstopper, which felt to me like it fetished queer people, but thats a discussion for another day.

it was nice for a change in media, because its not often that you get media from the perspective of someone outside of the mental hospital willingly going inside because they genuinely enjoy being there and the people there. thats one of the reasons i love Eddie, he isnt afraid of what people will say about his new job, or if he is, its not stopping him even though (im pretty sure?) he doesnt get paid for it. hes a kind and lovable protagonist and it was interesting to have his side and opinions on things.

the side characters (i suppose thats what they are) are easy to fall in love with because they have so much depth and are genuinely interesting as a whole. it had, i think, important representation of Rosalie's OCD. it was important representation because it doesnt seem like we get a lot of OCD in media anymore (not that we ever really did, at least not in the things ive watched). i personally dont know much about the disorder but the representation still felt... correct, i suppose, to someone who has little to no knowledge, which is still a good sign because it means it was easy to understand and, yes, still seemed realistic. it was easy to feel bad for Rosalie because of her story and because she was treated and written as a real person.

have you ever watched something and thought, "this character is a bit cardboard-esque"? doesnt it make it tricky to actually feel bad for the character in question? its difficult to sympathise or empathise with someone who is uninteresting or unrealistically written. like in the Twilight movies, for an example. its difficult to feel bad for Bella because shes a kind of basic protagonist. she has simple wants and has simple struggles. whereas in TOTA, the characters have different wants than is usually displayed. like Campbell for example. he wants to be a radio show host and whats stopping him? his struggle to find a place that wants to take him and, i would say, his fathers disapproval. while Campbell isnt openly warm with his father, its still difficult for Campbell to ignore him because its his dad, the man who was there, but not necessarily there for him, all his life. its still difficult to get over someone whos supposed to love and support you telling you that you wont be able to do something.

Campbell is another example of a well written character. it was easy for me to love him, and not just because he was played by DT. he was a funny character without just being comedic relief. his bipolar disorder was displayed well according to me, someone with again, little to no knowledge in the subject. it was nice to have a character who has specific wants that are different from other characters in other medias. he was interesting because he was, say it with me, written as a real person. Campbell was easy to love because he was written and played like someone i would personally want to be friends with. hes funny, caring, friendly, unique, and protective. he sort of immediately likes Eddie and is friendly and talkative with the older man. he doesnt hold back and doesnt bite his tongue when he wants to say something.

TOTA was silly and light hearted while still bringing up important subjects that i dont think a lot of media is willing to bring up. i think, unfortunately, it might have been before its time. i think if it was made recently or in recent years, a lot more people would watch it and talk about it. i think its a beautiful show that, while not laying too heavily on it, discusses mental illness in a positive way. it doesnt act like the characters disorders are flaws, it treats it as something the characters have that might make them unsatisfactory to other people but not like it is unsatisfactory and i think it was lovely.

overall, i thoroughly enjoyed watching TOTA. it was different from most things i watch but not in a way where i was reluctant to watch more and only liked it at the end. i thought the ending was brilliant, even if it wasnt a massive everyone-got-their-way sort of ending. it was honestly nice to have media that had only two characters that i can think of getting what they want. TOTA had some sad parts that were so well written i cried. and if something bad happened to a character (haha... ha... hm), i cared about the character and was upset because they were well written and i loved them.

i know i used the words "well written" and "realistic" so many times, but the main things that struck me about TOTA were those two things. while i love sci fi and fantasy, its nice to have a show that felt real, like it actually happened. i loved the characters and the plot. the writing was superb. its an amazing show that more people should watch.

(hi. sorry if this is terribly written, im not great at these sorts of things. i tried keep it focused but if i ever strayed away from the main point, i apologise)

#tota takeover #tota #eddie mckenna #rosalie garrity #campbell bain #takin over the asylum #francine boyle

[ftmprxttyboy]

intro post :)

first off, this is an NSFT blog!!!! MDNI!!!!!!! if you don't have an age in ur bio ur also not getting in!!!

hello everyone!! my name is andrew (18, he/him), i'm a trans guy who's been on t for over a year now (on and off, just getting back on track) and i am also pre-op. i'm here to let my testostorone urges run free as i should!

i'm a subby bottom, mainly t4t and unsure with my label with sexuality besides that. i am single but not looking for anything (arospec)!! i'm also disabled (pots, fibromyalgia) /mentally ill (autism, ocd, ed) so if i dissapear for times that's why (i also discuss my physical issues often)!! also i'm a chubby boy so please don't be fatphobic!

my photo tag is pb.photos if you'd like to see any photos i've posted of myself (including my face :))

messages/asks are encouraged! i'm very social and i love meeting new people, regardless if sexting, flirting, or any talking in general! i'm very into taylor swift's music, various commentary youtubers, and weed (strains, dose, etc.) to name a few things :)

if i do not respond/stop responding, it's not you! i need lots of space currently due to personal issues so don't be afraid to double text or interact with my posts to get my attention :)

if you'd like to support me, my cashapp is $ftmprxttyboy (no pressure!!!!)

my safeword is "noodle" or 🚫🚫🚫 !!!!!!!!!

DNI : usual dni stuffs, you don't support palestine, over 40, fetishizer, pro ana/ed, no age, under 18, don't respect my disability/my limits that come with it, treat me like a sex toy (i'm a person!)

my kinks are below the cut :))

my kinks!

intox (specifically weed and sometimes alc)

overstimulation (esp w my tdick)

breeding

being dominated

cockwarming

size difference

degredation (light)

praise

guided/mutual masturbation

pet play (i like being a dog and a cat hehehe)

forced masculinzation and feminization (bimbo/himboification too ugh please)

nipple/boob play (pre-op and very large)

freeuse (light)

dumbification

spanking (light, ass/tdick)

catholic/religion kink stuff

feederism (light feedee, i use it for ed recovery)

what i'm NOT into (you can still follow, just not for me :))

vomit (i'm emetophobic)

omorashi/pee play

scat

feet stuff

pregnancy

weapon play

detrans/misgendering

use of word rape (with me, if you use it on your blog its all good!!)

anal play

fauxcest/incest in general

death feederism, sloppy food eating

obviously i may be forgetting some but just ask me if you're curious :)

you can call me any petname (i love pretty boy, darling, and pup obviously)! if i'm uncomfy i will say, and you can call my genitals anything too, i'm very open, i prefer "tcock" and "pussy" to name a few.

claimed anon emoji's!

🦷 , 🧱 , 🦴 , 🐺 , 🤟🏻 , 🫀 , 🎸 ,💫 ,

the tags i use most frequently are below!! (including my photos tag!!!)

so yeah! shoot me an ask, send me a pm, tell me how to use my toys, just anything really :) i'm horny and love attention hehe

#ftm nsft #ftm t4t #trans ftm #ftm dom #ftm bottom #ftm sub #t4t nsft #ftm ns/fw #pb.photos

[anin13]

Shumori chapter 4

TW: Diabolik Lovers, mental illness, panic/anxiety attack, SOMETHING

It seemed like Shu had barely closed his eyes when he had to open them again because of something out of a deja vu.

Reiji with the pot and ladle. For someone who was proud of his supposed maturity he sure liked to use children's tricks.

He was pretty sure this had happened before, exactly like this.

He proceeded to act the same as last time, until Reiji left to battle the others to get up. Shu looked around; the mansion looked very similar to its usual state, but something was off.

Who cares. If the time had come for it to crumble down today it couldn't be avoided, either way.

He walked around the living room, waiting for something to happen. A chandelier on the roof was suddenly making a lot of noise and apparently it wasn't a school day, but their father had informed Reiji via familiar they were supposed to go on a field trip and have a picnic.

What the fuck. Why the fuck.

The urge to climb onto the couch again was proportional to the one of having brunch with his brothers, but in the opposite direction.

There was something that kept him from going back to sleep though.

He hadn't forgotten the person he'd met at school. Edgar. He could try and sneak out of their lunch date to see him, a bit like during his childhood. He had to see him again.

Laito Sakamaki didn't want to get up either, but 5 more minutes dozing off beneath the green weighted blanket couldn't be achieved with the yelling he heard next door.

He had barely opened his still tired eyes; it was too early to yell, let alone doing something to be yelled at, but here they were.

-Kanato, please refrain from being ridiculous and wash your teeth even if the flavor doesn't suit your childish taste!

-Reiji, you don't understand! I can't just put this disgusting thing in my mouth and smell like it for hours!

Sometimes Laito wondered where humans had gotten the idea of vampires being the coolest creatures from.

Either way, hadn't this happened before..? Didn't they have this exact argument before some guys tried to obliterate them? He remembered they had even installed a new toothpaste, and that it tasted too sweet.

...Oh no! ... Was this a time regression? He hoped he hadn't died in that attack, and that this wasn't like that story about the time looper girl who constantly got murdered horribly by the end of a month in a small town and re-spawned at the beginning of the same month again, it was the last thing he needed!

He had done nothing to earn that torment! Sure, he hadn't been an angel, in fact, he could be pretty cruel. Alright, he might as well have earned it.

Sometimes he didn't know how to stop. And the rage about the fact there were people who hadn't been shattered as he'd been was too strong.

And since the time looper in the story was a really nice, cute person with heroic intentions, what could await him if this was the case?

He began to panic. It doesn't matter if he'd earned it, he still didn't want it! He needed to calm down and think of something, but he couldn't, his tainted world started to spin around counter clockwise and he reached into the closet to grab on to something, but his hand slipped and the door opened, throwing him onto the floor as a shadow with teeth and eyes in odd places came out of it.

He screamed for Ayato to help him.

-Why Ayato? -The last place that worked in his brain asked.

There was no answer.

He lay on his room's floor face up, paralyzed as the shadow creature stared down at him and expanded its tendrils, aimed at his neck...

-Oi, what the hell are you doing lying on the floor, screaming in your leopard underwear? Is this some kind of new fetish?

Ayato had opened the door; he seemed not to have seen the shadow.

Laito felt slightly embarrassed. Had he imagined that shadow? Must have been his mind, right? He quickly put on a recovered face, since the danger seemed to have passed.

-Oh Ayato! Would you know a fetish if it stared you on the face? -he laughed and Ayato got irritated- I'm glad you came to help me, but I think I might have just had a misunderstanding with my closet. -he smiled and grabbed the 1st clothes his hand found to put on.

Ayato lifted an eyebrow.

-Fine. -Ayato slammed Laito's door and protested about some kind of picnic their father had planned for that day to Reiji and Shu as if it was their fault.

Everything was okay, this was not a time loop situation. That shadow thing was concerning, but maybe it was nothing.

And a picnic didn't sound so bad, he'd just forget about the shadow and try to have fun. Hadn't that always worked, one way or another?

Maybe he'd try to spook somebody so he wasn't the only one to deal with that type of shame... maybe he wasn't in a time loop, but he was indeed in some other kind. Best not to think of it.

Shu got slightly motivated to stay at the picnic when he heard the menu included steak and that this would count as their monthly lunch as a family. It was still a very strange day.

Was he seriously hoping the strange vampires from the day before would try to wreck their car again? Didn't matter, he had eternity to see him. But he still wanted it to be as soon as possible, even if he had no plans for when they actually met.

In the meantime, Laito was telling some stupid ghost story to Yui about their picnic location, yet only Reiji seemed to be afraid; he tried to dissimulate, but he couldn't fool Shu. It was almost funny but he'd much rather have silence.

Yui didn't seem to get neither the story nor what was creepy about it. What a simple woman. It was for the best, though, he'd let Subaru argue with the other guy to shut him up and spare them the bad horror writing on Laito's end.

When they finally arrived, a bright forest clearing with a sky full of stars revealed itself. It was a beautiful place. Dream-like, in fact.

The human world had never looked like this, that he remembered. It wasn't spring but it was full of red flowers that were sometimes called the flowers from hell.

It almost felt disrespectful that a bunch of vampires and a poor hostage girl were going to have "brunch" here.

They had barely finished eating when, out of the blue, a huge monster truck driven by some huge guy arrived at the place in a racket. What a drag.

Or so Shu thought until he had a better look at the driver. He understood now. He really was dreaming, this was too absurd to be true, but he would have preferred his brothers to stay out of it. He was sure the field would go ablaze any minute, consume both him and Edgar, and he'd wake up sweating again. It'd be over soon.

But it didn't. They were trying to figure out how to turn off the monster truck and the one with the beret asked the big one, he called him Yuma, if he'd ever driven before.

Apparently it was his first try behind the wheel. The guy from his history class, a blond guy in clothes that normally only idols on TV would wear, "Yuma"? And a smaller guy full of bandages who wielded a knife unloaded the vehicle and approached them somewhat menacingly despite all of them seeming to be dizzy.

It was the first time Shu heard them talk. Yuma seemed to not have changed too much from the way he spoke as Edgar, but he noticed a bit of a bitter tone that wasn't there before. It made sense; nobody who had a good life would willingly be turned into a vampire, would they?

He stared at Yuma/Edgar. Who was he, then? He was confused. If this was a dream, could he maybe approach him, and talk to him without any consequences in real life?

He'd try taking a step...

Yuma thought this day was weird as fuck. It didn't feel real. When had Karl given him and his brothers the monster truck? Either way, best not to question it too much, or he might take it back and he was eager to see what he could do with it.

But when they arrived where they were led, the Sakamakis were having a picnic. He must be dreaming. Did his brain rot so hardcore because of meeting those guys, that he was now featuring them in his own damn dream, if that's what it was? Jeez.

And there was the blond guy again, looking straight at him. Even if Karl had told them to have some kind of showdown here, it was 6 pure blood vampires against 4 of them, there's no way they could just kidnap the girl, right?

-Edgar... -Shu said, stepping forward, when suddenly, the guy from history class took out some sort of spell book and said something that sent all of them except Yui flying in a circle at least 400m.

Yuma was out of it while Ruki kept muttering gibberish.

Kou and Azusa ran and grabbed Eve by her arms and legs and hauled her into the car while Ruki sweated his forehead off yelling more gibberish.

Yuma snapped out of it, locked the car and tied Yui onto the seat.

Shu tried giving chase but a wall of fire was suddenly inching his way fast; he tried running from it but the grass was too tall and thick, it was going to swallow him when-

He was back at the couch in the living room. No Reiji with a ladle, no toothpaste argument, no nothing.

Yui seemed to be her room, awake, but in the mansion. It was still the middle of the day, and it was quiet. Maybe he'd best go for a stroll instead of going back to sleep. He'd gotten used to the sun at some point, after all.

He opened the main door and went to the rose garden.

Yuma seemed to have been waiting for him.

Btw, spellcaster Ruki refused to get out of my head, hopefully it makes some type of sense lol

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers fanart #diaboys #shumori #diabolik lovers fanfiction #omoriau #shu sakamaki #yuma mukami #laito sakamaki

[gentle-voluptuary]

Just read that amazing post of yours. Thank you for that. As someone who has only dipped their toes into the dangerous waters of "coming out" about feedism irl, and who is very aware of the pathologization of kink in general, I have a question...

pathologization in the sense of saying "those kinksters are mentally ill and what they're doing it sick and wrong!" is obviously problematic. But how do we stop internally pathologizing ourselves? Like, to me it's pretty obvious that my fat fetish comes from being obese as a kid and getting bullied about it. Insert long explanation of how I'm SURE that's where it comes from. How did I stop thinking "this is just a shameful result of my trauma that I can't shake", start accepting it as something that's part of myself (even when I'm not horny)? How do I share it with a partner without fear of them judging me and just deep diving into what's wrong with me mentally, when I just wanna be able to have fun with a kink that's turned out to be my main thing after a few decades of checking in?

Thank you for the kind words and, more importantly, thank you for bringing such a sensitive and intimate question to a stranger - I hope I can do it justice.

Firstly, I just want to say how much I resonate with your question even if our lived experiences behind it are different. In a previous relationship, I was with someone who really didn't have a lot of space for complex conversations that involved shame, particularly as it related to sex. I saw very quickly I could never "come out" to them (as a feedist, or really as queer) and so I bottled put hose parts of myself until they hurt, a lot.

I ended up going to a therapist who I thought would help "fix" the parts of me - like my kinks - that were holding me back from relating to that partner in a deeper way. What we realized was that, while I had tremendous shame around my sexuality (and occasionally still do), I also was with someone who didn't have the capacity to hold both the beauty and the complexities of my sexuality (and especially my kinks) at the same time. I actually feel so grateful that I never came out in that relationship, because I think the blowback would have made me even more traumatized than I already was.

This is the first part of my answer to my question: part of "coming out" in a safe way is being around people who you can genuinely trust and have care and space for complex emotions. I used to operate on the assumption that it was entirely up to me to navigate the coming out process, but since then I see it much more contextually. Obviously the danger thresholds are different, but if you think analogously about coming out as queer: there are places where that is more or less safe for them, no matter how internally healed a person may be. Keeping a clear eye on who and where we are is a big part of the process, and, if you can find the right person or people, you can build comfort in smaller ways (e.g., maybe you just tell someone you're kinky without giving any details) with safe people, and that helps you build the muscle you want to use later.

The second part of my answer is the both the more optimistic part, but also the harder one:

How do we stop pathologizing ourselves? We act gently towards ourselves. It's really (sadly), that simple.

To be more specific, though, I think gentleness is key here because we're dealing with such multi-layered complexity:

Speaking for myself, I have worked hard to acknowledge that all of my kinks are inextricably (though not entirely) linked to traumatic experiences. I am very neurodivergent and have spent my entire life trying to mask and hide who I am to others; is it any wonder that I sexualize the experience of others who unapologetically take up physical, intellectual, and social space? I don't think so. I read my feedist tendencies through a multi-faceted lens: eroticizing the act of unbridled hedonism and personal space-taking since I lacked so much of that in my own early life; eroticizing the physical sensations of fat in a higher-than-typical way since I lack that on my own body; eroticizing the transformation of weight gain as I look on with admiration, and occasional envy, for the transformations of others' genders or personas in public and in private.

My kinks are significantly wedded to those traumas, but I don't think that makes them any less beautiful.

It sounds bizarre, but I think we need to fall in love with our trauma responses in order to access the gentleness to then navigate them in the real world in safe, consensual, and compassionate ways. This doesn't mean we abandon our self preservation and expect others to immediate accept them or us, or that we allow ourselves to let the response dominate how we show up in the world. It simply means we express gratitude to ourselves (and, if you practice parts-related therapeutic modalities, to our younger self) for creating a system that helps protect us. That's all a trauma response is. We never have to be angry at that intention, we just need to decide how much (if at all) we want the behaviours associated with that response to show up and where.

To summarize that, I think you could explore the following, with the caveat that this can be very hard stuff, so, go slowly and gently and notice anytime you feel an internal 'ouch' at a hard question. This is like walking after taking off a caste: slow is fast.

Take time to feel through where and how your traumas inform this (and any other) kink for you (I'm a big fan of journaling for this)

If you have the resources and capacity, find a sex-positive therapist (specifically look for that language) who you can broach the topic with and get professional guidance - I'd specifically ask, via email since it's low-risk, if they are sex-positive, trauma-informed, and believe in fat liberation / social justice around bodies.

Identify ways in which this trauma response (i.e., feedist attraction) has saved you or served you. Has it helped you navigate difficult decisions? Has it helped you stay away from another coping mechanism (drugs, alcohol, self-harm) that might have more adverse consequences for you?

Identify the components of the way in which you feel this desire that cause distress for you. Really try to feel where your distress comes from internally (e.g., do you feel physical discomfort after a stuffing, do you worry that your desires could hurt someone else if fully acted out?) and where distress relates to others' perceptions of you. Try to separate them out (again, I recommend journaling) and see if there are adjustments you could make to mitigate that distress.

Look for ways that your kink can contribute something to the world. I have personally found that feedism, properly expressed, has helped partners shake off some of their own deep traumas related to fatphobic experiences. One time a partner went on a scale in front of me and wept as I came up behind them to nuzzle them as we looked at the numbers; it was the first time in their lives that they'd ever been on a scale that hadn't immediately evoked negative emotions. As I wrote in my essay and I hope to explore more, I think any kink offers opportunities for healing, when it's done right - ask yourself what your kink can do for you and others, and what you'd need in place, personally and in a partner, to do that?

Lastly, and I think you're already doing this since you're here, but try to build community. One partner of mine remarked once that feedism was "the most solitary kink" that she'd ever encountered. Because of the intensity of fat phobia, I think a lot of feedists (myself included) adopt a kind of bunker mentality. We fear not only society at large will hate us, but the very people we are attracted to. That does things to you. I am still learning to recover from hyper vigilance with non-feedist fat partners who I am still not entirely convinced won't turn on me when the fully understand what turns me on, even if those things live purely in the world of fantasy. We need to create space for love and care for one another, and for ourselves, and I think that starts with raising conversations like you have here. :)

Thank you so much for the question, I hope this helps.

#feedist thoughts #meta kink #minorsdni #fat liber #feedistblog #feedist blog #trauma #long post

[the-mechanisms-system]

It's so so funny to me to see posts being like "STOP romanticizing/fetishizing mental illness we're suffering we're not there to be lusted over" bc like objectively ur right, but also nooo pls romanticize my insanity and fetishize my disorders pls pls lust over me I am so hot and sexy (<- guy with "pls lust over me I am hot and sexy and need validation" disorder)

like I can be ur hot crazy no empathy bf oh my god look at me go I can be all dark and edgy and Tortured TM tell me how scary and sexy I am babe tell me how much u wanna fix me

#actually npd #npd #actually narcissistic #npd safe #npd thoughts #narcissist #narc #narcisstic personality disorder #cluster b #actually cluster b #narc posting