#stop letting men use you

[hazel2468]

Something that I need people to understand, especially on this hellsite. Is that oppression does not depend on who you actually are.

It depends on how the world sees you.

If the world sees you as X identity. They will treat you as X identity, whether you are or not. If the world sees that you are not X identity, but they can use the oppression of X identity as a cudgel to make you act the way they want you to? They will use it.

Oppression is NOT dependent on who you actually are. It depends on how the world sees you. It depends on how people see you and what they decide to put on you because of that.

Oh. And when someone experiences a form of oppression that is NOT based in the reality of who they are? It's still that kind of oppression. It's not "misdirected"- it is still that kind of oppression being leveraged to maintain the current social climate.

#this is specifically inspired by all those annoying people #who think that trans men cannot experience sexism or misogyny #but let me tell you as a queer disabled Jew that shit also hits me on SO MANY other levels #oppression depends on how the world sees you #and honestly I think so many people are resistant to that idea because it is a fucking SCARY one #if oppression is based solely in who you actually are #then it's easy to say that certain things don't happen to certain people and there are rules to oppression #and like #I understand that is comforting to some but.... that isn't true #the only rule to oppression is that it will be used to keep everyone in line #and it will be swung at anyone and everyone in order to do that #and who you ACTUALLY are does not stop oppression from happening #sometimes it actually even makes it fucking worse

[hella1975]

it's been pointed out on here before that a lot of terf arguments are actually rooted in sexist idealology that feminists fought and died to unnormalise decades ago and that's its own kettle of fish but one thing i also find very frustrating about this so called 'radical' feminism is that it's so... defeatist? like the moment you categorically label an entire section of society as Bad and Inherently Evil then there's also the implication that nothing can be done about it, and it completely takes all accountability away. saying all men are evil is just another way of saying boys will be boys. he raped her because he's a man. he hit her because he's a man. he didn't listen because he's a man - it's almost offensively oversimplified. there's no point trying to fix this issue in society because men are just Like That, okay! so now what? it's not like they're going anywhere, so you just accept that 50% of the population are evil and will forever treat you terribly and there's nothing to be done about it bc they're biologically predisposed to it? like is that fr the argument here? you're soooo radical for that

#this is coming from someone who used to very genuinely be a misandrist #ironically it was only when i started actually analysing my own feminism that i got MORE confrontational with men #and started respecting my boundaries a lot better BECAUSE i started holding them accountable again #like when men treat me like shit nowadays i dont just write it off as 'what did you expect? he's a man' i get MAD about it #because i EXPECT BETTER FROM THEM even if it's just tiny shit women have to deal with daily #i hold them to just as high a standard as im held to and i make them take accountability when they dont meet that #and whether you realise it or not even on a subconscious level the MOMENT you black-and-white blanket statement all men as bad #you stop holding them accountable. #like it is literally just boys will be boys. do terfs seriously not realise they're sending feminism BACKWARDS #like if a girl came to me with her trauma and people - other girls no less - tried to comfort her with 'yeah all men are evil' #id be fucking furious. like no he did that because he was a piece of shit that had it normalised to him that women arent to be respected #dont you dare let him off the hook with something as simple and uncritical as 'he's a man' #i promise you men like that will MUCH prefer a blanket statement such as 'all men are as bad as each other' #than actually being point blank told they're an abuser or a rapist. because being lumped together is comfortable and even empowering #wheras isolating their behaviour with words that are Bad and Ugly (LIKE 'rapist') is not comfortable at all and has heavy connotations #idk i dont think radical feminism is always bad on its own it can be v liberating. just terfs and misandrists that i have a problem with #dropping this post in a piranha tank and closing tumblr knowing im gonna have some thirty year old karen yelling at me within 5 mins #i probably wont respond to any terf comments bc they literally mentally exhaust me with their stupidity #but that also depends on my mood and ability to keep my mouth shut LMFAO we shall see

[greatalastoraltruist]

I feel like swinging a bat at a hornets nest so I'll say the quiet part out loud. A lot of y'all are bein aphobic as hell when it comes to Alastor. Alastor is seen to act repulsed multiple times in the show when other characters have suggested sexual acts with him and between that and his being confirmed ace, the fact that Alastors tag is still full of smutty fics just shows that you don't respect the character or folks on the ace spectrum at all. Yes, some ace folks aren't sex repulsed but Alastor clearly isn't one of those folks and y'all doing gymnastics to try to justify your constant objectification of our only confirmed ace character says a lot about y'all and how little y'all respect us.

Y'all are doing the exact thing to Alastor that so many of us on the ace spectrum fear from those around us every single day. You don't care about the character at all, you only care about how you wish he would fuck you and there's literally a whole show of other characters you can do that with that isn't the only confirmed ace character.

#like COME ON yall are no better than those kind of cishet men who see women as nothing but holes to fuck and its so blatant #let us have this one singular character thats supposed to be for us and stop disrespecting that important part of his character #and don't even get me started on the fics that have Alastor get hypnotized or smthn else that takes away his ability to give proper consent #those are essentially date-rape fics and its fucking disgusting #alastor the radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #asexual alastor #Hazbin hotel #broadcasting across hell #alastor x reader #alastor x vox #alastor x lucifer #alastor x you

[s0fter-sin]

sometimes i think about how wild a mw2 movie would be if they just dropped soapghost right in the middle with no warning or marketing. like imagine it being beat for beat the exact same, it’s your typical military action movie, promoted as just another military action movie then after they get to the safe house, ghost has to patch up soap and he’s still out of it, overwhelmed by the betrayal and everything he’s seen and ghost needs to ground him and keep him in the present, to remind him that he’s alive and safe so he kisses him and they have sex. the tantrums and the rants and the “ReAl sOLdiErS aRen’t liKe ThAt”, god i can taste it and it’s delicious

#theres never any talk of a relationship or sexuality crisis its just this moment of humanity and comfort to bring soap back to himself #real any time you need me by thirteenbullets vibes #theyre not the type of men to have something as normal as a relationship #theyre just everything to each other they know that and its enough #ghost can be such a complex character if you let him #this guy whos rejected his humanity has buried himself and become a ghost #willingly digging himself out of the grave to stop soap from digging his own #like how are there not more explicitly homoerotic military movies that actually pull the trigger (heh) on the homo part of the eroticism #you know how if movies have even a hint of queerness they wring it out for every drop of respresentation they can get #theres a hundred articles and its mentioned in every interview and it all journalists ask those actors #imagine it being a complete secret and everyone expects just a typical action movie #then boom battle buddy gay sex #like if it were a male and fenale character you would see that scene coming a mile away so why cant it happen with two guys #just doing it is the only way of normalising it #i still see men saying they act like brothers which is denial so strong even egypt is impressed #but imagine the general public expecting this manly man military movie then getting hit with the alone mission flirting and denying it #then getting smacked in the face with tender wound care and grounding love making initiated by the edgelord they were using as a self inser #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #cod mw2 #we’re a team. ghost team

[puppyeared]

37

37: share a secret

send me a number!! 💌

#my friend made me watch hetalia when we were kids and. yeah you can probably put the rest together #this is probably the most harmless secret i could think of but im still turning reblogs off bc its really embarassing lol #god i remember using the honorifics and everything. with the pointy anime men chins. god damn #canada called britain senpai i believe. i think i wantto go back in time and stop myself from doing that if i could but as it is #it shaped me as a person and theres nothing i can do abt it. they were hot though #i just know maja is going to add this to their pile of 'things im never going to let puppy live down'. i just know it #CROW IF YOURE SEEING THIS IM SO SORRY. I MADE OUR COUNTRIES MAKE OUT SLOPPY STYLE #ask #answered #ask game #doodles #yapping

[daincrediblegg]

same image

#these aren't men they're muppets! #I'm crying these screenshots have opened a whole can of worms in the chat tonight #a list is being made for the muppets terror now. you cannot stop it #we have come up with a concept so decadent #anyway more from prisma eventually probably but we're cooking let us cook #the terror #the muppets

[eldritch-thrumming]

i saw that review on letterboxd of all the rhetorical questions for barbie and like… the more i think abt it, the more i’m certain that the review’s author fundamentally misunderstood the film. barbie land is not a utopia in the way that adults would think abt a utopia, like the author seems to imply… barbie land is canonically shaped by little girls playing with their dolls. that’s why we see a supreme court. thats why there are nobel prizes and authors and lawyers (also because that’s how the toys are marketed… would there be a mermaid in ur utopia??? there would be in mine!). that’s why barbie and ken don’t necessarily know what a boyfriend and girlfriend are “meant” to do (not to mention that the author’s assumption that sex is fundamental to a romantic relationship is problematic at best). that’s why barbie is indifferent to ken (i personally had the life size barbie and my sister had the barbie dream house—we had the working woman barbie game, i had the genie barbie gameboy game, we had countless barbie dolls; we didn’t own a single ken doll lol). barbie land is a world created by and for little girls as they play with their dolls (she says in a comment on the original post “don’t little girls play with their dolls in a sexual way?” and yeah, sure, some do. but i didn’t and i’m sure there are others who didn’t… just like there are some girls who completely mutilated their own dolls and made them into horrifying creatures)… that’s why stereotypical barbie starts having an existential crisis—because a grown woman begins to play with her doll again and starts reshaping barbie land… we, as the audience, are meant to understand this as an outlier to how barbie land is canonically created. the author also calls ken “crass” and “slovenly”… maybe after he builds the patriarchy in barbie land he becomes “crass” but i wouldn’t call him slovenly at any point in the film (i suppose this is just semantics tho).

also, please stop saying that barbie land is a reversal of the real world. it isn’t, even if that may have been the filmmakers intentions. again, barbie is indifferent to ken. she does not abuse him, she does not treat him like he exists to service her by cooking or cleaning or providing other favors for her… barbie does not oppress ken in the way that men oppress women in the real world (we have no idea if he owns property or where he lives and she doesn’t seem to particularly care—extremely different from the fact that women couldn’t have their own bank accounts or credit cards, get a mortgage on their own or divorce their husbands through no fault divorce until the second half of the 20th century in the us… within a lot of our mothers and grandmothers lifetimes!!!!) and it is a complete disservice to conflate or equate the two. we actually see barbie drawing clear boundaries around her time and space in regards to ken—this is not a reversal of misogyny as women and girls experience it in the real world, by any stretch of the imagination.

is the film perfect or revolutionary or radical? of course not. it was produced by major studios and corporations in hollywood. of course the barbie movie is a fucking commercial for barbie, like… to expect anything different is just extremely dumb on your part if u saw the trailer, saw the marketing, saw the interviews, bought a ticket, and sat ur ass in the theater, like be fuckin serious. but don’t do women and girls a disservice by discrediting the world and thoughts and ideas it could open up for them by seeing themselves be taken seriously on screen in a major summer blockbuster with stupid fucking questions because u want to feel superior to everyone else because YOU and ONLY YOU see through the capitalist marketing of lipstick pop girlboss feminism (especially when juxtaposed with the way the female characters are treated in oppenheimer, which we cannot help but compare to the barbie film with the viral marketing of barbenheimer).

#i had to block a bunch of people so their barbie takes would stop showing up in my for you tab lol #i just wanna read steddie fanfic and reblog cute barbie gifs not see ur lame ass takes abt how barbie is evidence that both patriarchies #AND matriarchies are bad #there is not a society on earth where women treat men the way women have treated women for millennia… even the matriarchies smh #the way men have treated women*** literal smh!!!! #barbie spoilers #tagging this as barbie spoilers but not using the barbie tag bevause i don’t want to get into all that tbh #i’m just frustrated… esp as someone who teaches film #every time a female led film comes out we have to have these same convos over and over #let’s talk abt how oppenheimer glorifies the atomic bomb and doesn’t acknowledge the indigenous populations that the bomb was tested on!!!! #let’s talk abt how oppenheimer doesn’t even acknowledge the japanese experience of the bomb!!!! bevause oppenheimer is the real victim #let’s talk abt how christopher nolan repeatedly uses the trope of mentally ill suffering crazy woman to propel his male protagonists story!! #he’s just so sad :( that he killed thousands of ppl :( #anyways i’m over it lol #ok wait making this non rebloggable bevaude i don’t wanna argue w anyone i literally jus wanna say my piece into a void 🙏

[spacedlexi]

me trying to stay sane when i see some Fandom Shit that makes me mad

#sometimes i dont think you guys actually like the characters you say you do bc some people project so much its not even the same character #like some understanding is so Painfully surface level or just completely disregarded or straight up purposefully misinterpreted #i hate fandom i hate fandom i hate fandom #just because i try to avoid it doesnt mean i dont still see it #like id LIKE to engage with fans on a larger scale...it always bites my ass in some way tho #like i believe in having whatever fun you want to have with the media of your choice whatever. that wont stop me from bitching about it tho #i need more girl likers to engage with me...fandom likes men too much and will bend over backwards to babygirlify them #a girl will be the main character but people will still find a way to only talk about the men around her. not even the other women there #its just so BOOORRRINNNGG!!!! #some of us like to treat pre established characters like puzzles to be solved #and others just like to use their skin to put on whatever traits they want #like you do you but couldnt be me #ok bitching over #it speaks #if i dont let it out i'll explode #ranting in tags my beloved

[terrorbirb]

Also I am VINDICATED that literally all bosses and p.e.s at my new job has said to me "wow you're good at this. This is the fastest anyone has picked this up. You'll advance fast if you actually stay here" Because I can spot design flaws that take like idk engineering sense? I just know what kinds of things are important in design.

So vindicated that I'm a good engineer. Vindicated that I held that company together. They can keep it going (because I set them up to be able to do that) but there is nothing to hold them together. I told the principals that what they'll lose with me is someone to make sure all the parts of the business work together and someone who can make holistic solutions, and that's what they're seeing.

The implication was always that I wasnt a talented engineer. That's what they thought from literally week two (which I know from sources). I wonder what about me made them think in two weeks I was bad at engineering 🤔 I wonder what about me made them think that when I was still learning things like who our customers were and being introduced to people 🤔 literally before I ever took on an engineering project 🤔 not sure! A mystery!

As I was saying in the 'think of things no one has thought of' business class: I have come up with industry standard systems. Is it small? Yes. But it was 100% my design with no co-designers.

#totes bro #is this me not being humble? maybe #but I legitimately think im good at engineering. like i really think im not bad at it #now that everyone around me keeps telling me im good at engineering at the new job (lol) #working in an over 50% female (over 50% nonwhite too) office is great because people dont automatically assume im an idiot #the misogyny in engineering is unbearable #apparently all of the contractors my coworkers work with commit misogyny crimes regularly so its not my imagination #also our whole kind of thing is men make us do their work for them for free because we check for the publics interest #and they dont even try to work inline with what is best. they just try to get away with shit. #EXCEPT for the female PEs! they try to do a good job! so we dont have to pick up their slack #anyway women are simply better engineers. having everyone assume youre bad at engineering makes you better imo #will anyone ever tell you youre better? no. #OH. ALSO. at my last job if the fraud engineer sales guy presented my solutions and products as his own he would get praise from customers #so i eventually stopped saying things were my designs because at least i could get credit that they were good when he presented them #this isnt engineering ethics this is me bitching about misogyny #also with the last post all fields are subject to the military industrial complex. let mech e (and aerospace but you should have known) is #a specific hell because its such a conservative engineering still

[rifleseye]

what's with autobot command and the victorian levels of drama.

#【 ❝ i will never stop complaining and that is a promise ❞ 】 ✕ ooc. #I SAID THIS A COUPLE DAYS AGO TO A FRIEND BUT IT'S REALLY FUCKING FUNNY TO ME #you have WHATEVER's going on in the decepticons which like yeah this makes sense if you're building a faction for power and shit #and then you look at the autobots and it's like #jawdrop #'mr optimus i cannot in good faith let you continue on such a ath. let us settle this now as men ought do.' type shit

[a-s-levynn]

.

#i'm resisting the impulsive urge to vent proper because i don't want to go there especially this tired but #not everything is literal #not everything is serious #not everything is a joke #if you are unsure about something just ask #also #they are not our friends #they are grown men who can and do take care of themselfs and most people in the fandom understand that #so we can clown around over stupid shit while also not forgetting that #the two things can and do coexsist #but also let's not forget that they are simply human and can be tired or make a conscious decision to do or not do something #without any big conspiracy in the background #there is a line too far just as with everything #sometimes it isn't a bad idea to stop and look which side of it we are on #and i am myself are prone to at least dance on it so i'm not here to be smart i'm mostly just ckecking on myself #but some peeps also could use a moment to objectively see stuff #sorry this is fairly vague and half of it doesn't make sense #that's why it's in the tags #and almost certainly gonna get deleted in a few hours #i just needed to think #g'night y'all #see ya tomorrow #hopefully

[valencock]

Ya know fellas, if ur man thinks family guy clips are funny u might wanna check his phone

#another exciting installment of 'AJ letting men into his life and getting cheated on' #my boyfriend of over two years had been cheating on me for OVER HALF our relationship wowie!!! we love it!!! #mans was using DISCORD to chat and send pics FROM OUR BED to randoms on the internet #last guy that cheated on me fuxking loved family guy #i have always hated the show and now itll be my biggest 🚩🚩🚩 #i cant stop being cheated on and i cant even begin to describe how deep in the shitter my mental state is #im still with him were trying to “”“”work“”“” on things #its hard when u love someone for so long and they hurt you in ways that you dont even have words for #im sorry i use notes as my diary i have literally no friends since i moved and i cant even talk to my boyfriend about anything anymore

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

me doing data entry when a man lists his beneficiary as “live-in girlfriend”: mm-hmm. ‘girlfriend.’ enter.

when a man lists his beneficiary as “domestic partner”: mm-hmm. ‘partner.’ enter.

when a man lists his beneficiary as “long-term significant other”: mm-hm. ‘S.O.’ enter.

#- HK #i see u tryna validate your lack of commitment with extra words well I have to enter 70 of these beneficiary cards per hour boy #I do not have time for your weak sauce #and we have at least one person per month who wants to list their cat or chihuahua so it does not matter if you’ve been stringing her along #for one year or fourteen (yes I seen men list a woman as his ‘fiancée’ who’s been in his record for fourteen years) #we will let you designate the hobo under your bridge so long as you’ve got a first and last name for us #the only way for you to stop emasculating yourself in official documents is to marry her ok? ok. have a blessed day. #mobile #x #and don’t think I’m letting those girlies get off easy either. GIRL? dump his ask #where is your self-respect. the only reason he gets away with this is you let him! tch. #setting expectations for the rest of us WAY TOO LOW.

[cryptids]

making a new post for this bc it felt a bit tmi to add to the tags of the last one lmao, but back when I used to shave my armpits they would constantly be irritated and itchy and far more sweaty (like I'd have visible pit stains every day on top of just always feeling damp and gross under my arms) and deodorant would fade much faster bc it would literally just slide off?? but when I stopped doing that, which was like 10 years ago now or more, ALL of those problems just completely went away. they never itch or get rashes or anything ever since, and deodorant started lasting all day easily. so I know first hand that its complete bs whenever people try to say shaving is necessary for hygeine or skincare or to reduce sweat or smell. like if it wasn't already clear from the fact that men aren't pressured to do the same (when they tend to sweat more overall as well?)

#honestly the way stopping shaving my armpits was life changing for me jsjfshgsdfs #if anybody else is thinking about it and looking for a sign please let it be this post #like try it for a few months and see how you feel #(i recommend over winter if you live in a climate that gets cold bc then you don't have to worry about anyone seeing and being judgmental) #ALSO another armpit tip from yours truly 💁‍♀️ is to use men's deodorant #regardless of your gender tbh it is just far more effective #and often cheaper too

[sakuramom]

Sincerely hate how common crop tops are becoming for young girls. Was at Old Navy today and while yes this isn’t the *worst* offender I’ve seen, this was still in the kids section. Not juniors, not adults, but kids. Elementary school age girls are wearing crop tops commonly now. The overt sexualization of these girls is disgusting to me, and companies are just aiming younger and younger with it now. I can’t imagine myself as a young girl ever wearing something that was showing my stomach or that was cropped, and now half of the clothes in girl’s sections are cropped or way too short for it to be comfortable. Hell, even when I was in high school I remember struggling to find shorts that hit mid-thigh.

Just tired of seeing girls clothes getting shorter and shorter.

#radfem safe #radblr #terf safe #let girls be girls and children be children #stop stealing their childhood from them #bc you know grown men will use crop tops and leggings as excuses to claim that these girls look older #and as justification for being fucking pervs

[worstloki]

Thor bottoms and Asgard considers doing that a bad thing is SUCH an under-utilised genre fr

#so few fics like that #while Loki being into men is constantly used for angst reasons #when Thor is into guys suddenly Asgard is progressive #grrr bite chomp #where is my Thor goes against Asgardian ideals angst #was that not what his whole OG arc was about ?????? #what’s going on #let Thor hate parts of himself too #stop hoarding it all for Loki #Thor being Asgard’s most eligible bachelor and getting NO maidens bc he’s not into topping is so *chef’s kiss* idk what to tell you