#stop stressing out alfred

[autisticredhood]

In The Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado page 5 / Batman #614 / Detective Comics #790 / In The Dream House / Detective Comics #790 / Batman #614 / In The Dream House / Batman #410 / Batman #428 / In The Dream house / Batman #617 / Detective Comics #790 / In The Dream House / Detective Comics #790 / Batman #618 / In The Dream House / Detective Comics #790 / Batman #614

ID under

[ID: Several photos weaving together text and comic panels. 

First image is of text that reads “The memoir is, at its core, an act of resurrection.”

Second image is a panel of Jason’s face on the ground in watercolor art style from Batman: Hush. He is wearing the Robin domino mask and his mouth is parted open. He is splattered with blood. A blue caption reads “Jason.”. The panel is overlaid in red. 

Third image is a cropped panel of Bruce and Cass in front of Jason’s grave. Bruce is saying “He would have been eighteen today.” 

Fourth image is of text that reads “Memoirists re-create the past, reconstruct dialogue.”

Fifth image is of Bruce and Cass surrounded by graves as Bruce is saying “But he was brash. Impulsive. Headstrong. Never looking before he leapt…I knew that, but I didn’t stop him because he wanted it so badly. He wanted too much to prove something.”

Sixth and seventh images are cropped panels from Batman: Hush with Batman in watercolor art style. The sixth image has blue captions that reads “No matter what differences we’ve had through the years, I’ve always known that Dick had a gift. Jason only had…rage.” In the seventh image the captions are “Jason never had the skills that Dick had. I should never have let him put on that costume.” 

The eighth image is text that reads “They summon meaning from events that have long been dormant.”

The ninth image is of two panels from Jason’s post-crisis Robin run in the 80s. The first panel is of Bruce’s face with the Batman cowl pulled down. He’s saying, “Hardly, the other Robin would’ve done the same thing…You two really are two of a kind.” The accompanying panel is an up close shot of Jason’s grinning face in the Robin suit. He’s saying, “Thank You, Mister Wayne. Mind if I stay up awhile and do some homework?”

The tenth image is of two panels from Death In The Family of Bruce cradling Jason’s dying mother, Sheila. In the first panel Shiela is saying with many ellipses between her words, “He turned out to be such a good kid all his problems and he still turned out good.” In the second panel she is saying, “He threw himself in front of me. He took the main brunt of the blast.”

The eleventh image is text that reads “They braid the clays of memory and essay and fact and perception together, smash them into a ball, roll them flat.”

The twelfth image is a panel from Batman: Hush that is cropped to only show a caption that reads “Jason saw being Robin as a game. It’s probably what got him killed.”

The thirteenth image are of two panels from Bruce and Cass at Jason’s grave. The first panel is a cropped shot of Bruce saying “Yes. Maybe if I’d put an end to his attempts, he’d be getting ready to go off to college…” The following panel is of Bruce and Cass standing as dark silhouettes against a red sky with the angel statue of Jason’s grave looming over them. Bruce is finishing his thought from the last panel and saying, “Or just having a normal life…”

The fourteenth image is text that reads “They manipulate time; resuscitate the dead.”

The fifteenth image is of two panels from two different comics. The first is from Batman: Hush in modern comics art style and not watercolor. It’s a cropped panel of Tim Drake in the Robin suit yelling, “No matter what he says, Jason’s death still haunts him. Why else would he keep Jason’s costume so prominently in the cave?” The second panel is a cropped image of Barbara Gordon on the BatComputer screen from the same issue of Bruce and Cass visiting Jason’s grave. She’s contacting Bruce before he goes to the graveyard, saying, “Maybe you’re busy...Look Batgirl just came by. She seemed…upset. I don’t know what happened, but…if this is about what today is, then…Just Know I’m here if you need…”  

The sixteenth image is of text that reads “They put themselves, and others, into necessary context.”

The seventeenth image is a panel of Bruce and Cass in the graveyard. Bruce is saying, “But he’ll never have that. Maybe it’s not too late for Stephanie.”

The eighteenth and final image is an edited panel from Batman: Hush in watercolor style again. It is a close up of the R symbol of the Robin suit with blood stains on it. The panel is overlaid in red again. The edit is a blue caption from the same issue that is added to above the R symbol. It reads Batman’s inner monologue of “For these reasons, I’ve carried the burden of responsibility for Jason’s death.”

End ID.]

#um. SCREAM. coping w stress by sexualizing alfred & weaving bruce grief #jason todd #bruce & jason #bruce grief #you know!! you know?? do you get it. bruce's speaking of jason is a memoir & he changes the story of jasons life in context of making him a #cautionary tale in #relation to stephanie & in context of alleviating the heavy burden of his guilt he blames himself which is unbearable so he tries to rewrite #it as jason being a bad robin so that he can pretend for a few moments that it isnt his fault as he believes #took great satisfaction doing the hush panels where hes slandering jason as not being like deck then putting in the panel where he tells #dick* #robin jason he did what dick would have and they are two of a kind :] heehee #and him being like jason had problems!!!!!!! @ cass followed by sheila saying all his problems and he turned out to be such a good kid #he rewrites it that jason got himself killed or that bruce could have stopped him (ignoring the fact that stopping him from being robin LED #JASON TO HIS DEATH) and he'd be alive and in college #anyway you know!!! #my very correct opinions

[martyrbat]

batman #400

[ID: the murderous vigilante Black Spider is standing on a large wooden table as he shoots at Batman. He shouts for him to hold still as Batman nimbly avoids the sniper's shots. The narration reads, “— while the Black Spider panics on high ground. It is his downfall.” Batman deftly moves and pushes the table back, causing the villain to fall down! END ID]

#i love when the narration is funny and engaging #i like to imagine alfred and the narration have tea together and stress over bruce secretly #also i try to space out what comic i post from to mix things up and all but let the record show i stopped at this point in batman 400 to #read tec 463 and 464 because i like the magenta suit (its cute!!) and i had NO idea what he was doing in this #i thought they fucked up drawing his gun?? turns out it was in his glove. thats fun #c: batman | i: 400 #crypt's panels #batman #black spider

[deadsetobsessions]

DC X DP WRITING PROMPT:

Danny can hear the screams of the dead, the echoes of ghosts- shades of the dead- unpowered by ectoplasm. It’s his right as the High King of the Infinite Realms.

And during his weekly floats through his home planet to de-stress (no one ever attacks during these floats because a cranky and stressed Danny is a bad time for everyone involved), he comes across the Joker, torturing Tim Drake into becoming Joker Junior. More like he was lead there by the vortex of shades screaming at Joker to let the kid go and versions other threats or incoherent screams of pain and hatred.

He punts the clown into the sun (or in a ditch because Gotham is not known for her love of the thing called “sunlight”) and gathers up a sobbing Tim (JJ) who’s cackling through his tears like the laugh is being torn out of him, and flies away. Danny figures out his own personal ectoplasm shots help the insanity because Tim’s died before (and got brought back) via electro therapy shocks. Danny sees so much of himself in Tim and the potential for both immense good and immense evil and realizing they’re both choosing to seclude themselves to not harm others (Tim locks himself in his room to stop throwing things at Danny when he slips into insanity- which, it doesn’t actually affect Danny because he can turn intangible). Danny realizes that it’s not healthy and it doesn’t make anyone happy, so he works with himself and Tim to heal. Basically, Tim and Danny finds family in each other and heals while Batman, Nightwing, and Alfred loses their shit searching for Tim (“YOU LET JOKER KILL ANOTHER ONE OF MY BROTHERS, B!) (I WON’T LET YOU SHOULDER THE WEIGHT OF KILLING SOMEONE.) (I WOULD SHOULDER ANYTHING IF IT MEANT KEEPING TIM SAFE FROM THE JOKER!!!) (I can’t lose another son, Alfred) (I know, master Bruce. I know.)

Anyways, they find themselves back and Jason’s like hey I’m gonna kill the next Robin- oh wait Joker’s dead huh how’d that happen and then he’s like wtf do you mean “joker junior” wtf wtf wtf

Aunt Harley gets some of her own therapy and tracks Danny down to apologize to Tim, but stays away just in case she triggers an attack. She’s a villain, she’s done some horrible things and felt no guilt for it, but Tim was a line she thought she’d never cross and it kills her

#danny phantom #dc x dp #tim drake #dick grayson #bamf danny phantom #batman #bruce wayne #joker junior #dc x dp writing prompt #angst with a happy ending #red hood #jason todd #alfred pennyworth #Alfred is grieving too #Bruce thinks he lost two sons #dick thinks he lost two brothers #but Alfred lost two grandkids and his son (Bruce) to grief twice #Alfred is the best #dc joker #joker getting punted #I hate the joker #it’s on sight for that mf

[ew-selfish-art]

Dpxdc Au: As Danny gets more comfortable as a “long term roomie” in Wayne Manor, he starts to have freinds over. Aka psychopomp AU

Danny decided to take Batman’s deal upon the JL shut down of the GIW and Fenton Labs. He’d been working with the various heroes for a minute while they pursued the illegal government branch and his mad scientist parents- when it was clear he wasn’t going to have a home to return to, the Bat said he had a civilian contact that could help him and Jazz.

Jazz was honestly so relieved that they wouldn’t have to start from zero in her college town- how could Danny possibly say no when it took so much stress off of his sisters plate? Begrudgingly, he gets back to the Big Bad Bat and gets the contact info for one Bruce Wayne. Adoption is refused but, Jazz and Danny are invited to stay for how ever long they need to get their feet under them.

Danny keeps a lot of distance between himself and the other kids in the house, only coming to the meals that Jazz also attends. She’s pretty busy with classes during the day but it’s becoming clear that she’s also spending “quality time” with one of the older guys that stops by for dinner. Jazz advocates that he start to integrate himself or find a local community and after months of being a shit about it- Danny agrees to make new friends. He never said they would be alive tho.

Thus, Danny becomes Gothams local psychopomp. He just starts inviting the Shades of the unavenged for tea time in the west wing gardens. Alfred is always happy to supply tea and snacks, Danny doesn’t understand how the man doesn’t have more questions but is going to push his luck by asking. Wayne Manor is high key becoming the most haunted spot in the city and it’s starting to show.

Tim is the first to notice the changes in the Manor- he’s always been the smartest detective- and joins Danny at one of his tea times. What he hears Danny and the vague shape of a man talk about… is an old cold case. Holy shit, he’s got a break through.

Jason is the next to show up, but not because of the flickering lights or cold air, because he’s just maybe the teensiest bit interested in Jazz. Danny initially ignores him but seeing as the shades are all quivering in fear, Danny sighs and ultimately tries to figure out this dudes “whole undead deal”. Jason just wants to know what her favorite meal is but Danny will only exchange information for information. Jason gives him an abridged version of his death and rebirth- He walks away knowing Jazz’s preferred take out orders, favorite brand of tea and the cafe she likes to study at.

It’s going well honestly- Danny is having quality time with the ghosts in the city, the city is repaying him in good karma and Jazz is too occupied with the zombie to get on his case about not making human friends.

Then one of the batkids gets overshadowed and it results in… reveals? Drama? Friendship? Actual brotherly bonding?

#dcxdp #dpxdc #danny phantom #dc x dp #dp x dc #dc crossover #dp crossover #anger management ship #Danny is adopted AU #Danny is a psychopomp #write in the other sibling interactions lmao #duke is hella not sure what this guys deal is but he straight up refuses to go to the west wing during ‘tea time’

[dcxdpdabbles]

Hey, I dont know if you are currently acepting asks but... Please can you write something with Clockwork/Alfred? I'll give you a cookie?

I really love how you write and i cant find fics with this ship

Danny gets a cryptic message from Clockwork the night that he, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz are supposed to go on a three-week College tour road trip.

A trip that they were going to use to decide where the three graduating students planned on going to college. Jazz was coming along to ease their parents' worry, mainly as a voice of reason. She had taken time off of work and classes just to make this happen.

It had taken months to plan.

So cryptic messages put a damper on the mood. Granted, all notifications from Clockwork were cryptic, but that didn't make this any less stressful.

He had just sat by his bed, leaning his back onto his lower bed frame and mattress, when he noticed the glowing sticker note on the carpeted floor.

"What does it say?" Sam sighs, closing her suitcase. She was kneeling a few feet away from him, double-checking their luggage. "A warning about the trip? Insight of an upcoming trial? Oh, let me guess, one of us is pregnant?."

"It's me, isn't it?" Tuck asks from where he's lying on Danny's bed. He places a hand under his chin with a sigh. "I've noticed a glow in my reflection lately. Danny, you're the Father."

"Shut it, Tuck." Danny laughs, turning the glowing sticky note over. "It just has an address, a date, and a time. Nothing else. I think he wants us to go there when the day comes."

Jazz walks in carrying a tray. She insisted they all take some bedtime tea to help them get enough rest for the drive. She recently started making her own blends after much research and experimenting. Danny loves it and always begs for a jar of her tea whenever he visits her. "What's going on?"

"We have to add a stop to the road plan," Sam sighs. She takes the black mug covered in white laughing sculls, nodding in gratitude to the redhead. "In one week, we have to go to Gotham."

"That's doable. We'll be going through Bludhaven by then. We would use the following two days to go sightseeing a few cities over, but we can sacrifice one of them to head to Gotham instead." Jazz hums, mentally going over their planned-out map that she likely memorized.

Danny groans, carefully resting the black mug with white constellations on the floor beside him. "I really wanted to see the hot springs resort, though."

"Member next time, Danny." Tuck pats his head while his own black mug- this one with little game controllers- is held carefully in his other hand. "After the baby is born, we'll go again."

"Why are you stuck on the whole baby thing?"

"Danny, that's no way to speak to the father of your children, especially while he's carrying," Sam chided from her corner. "The stress is bad for the baby."

"Please stop."

"But Danny," Jazz cuts in, sitting across from him. She crosses her legs underneath her, and her black mug with white books completes the set. "You should be supportive of Tucker in this very delicate time."

"I'm going to Go Ghost and never come back."

"I knew you be a deadbeat dad," Tucker tsks.

The four burst into impish laughter; the ease of the teasing joke and the calming tea rekindled the mood of excitement, even with Clockwork's glowing sticky note being shoved into their luggage to be revisited in a week.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you sure this is the place?" Danny asks again, leaning forward to where Tucker is driving.

Jaz looks around in fascination at the large houses and spacious yards they pass while Sam sleeps beside Danny in the backseat. She just finished her turn driving for seven hours and wanted to catch up on sleep.

Personally, Danny thinks she shouldn't volunteer for the first shift- they set out at four in the morning to keep to their road plan- but he knows no one else would do it if Sam didn't.

Neither Fenton works well before nine a.m., while Tucker needs help seeing in the dark, so he always gets the day shift.

Tucker's grip on the steering wheel tightens as he grits through his teeth. "For the sixth time, Danny, this is where the GPS said to go. I am literally staring at the icon move on the map as I drive."

"It's just....look at this place! It's rich people. I think they call the cops on us for driving through here." Danny defends, knowing his consent doubts driving his bed friend up a wall but unable to stop fretting.

"I don't think they call the cops....but I think we should move as quickly as possible." Jazz advised as the houses started to grow in both size and property amount. "We're almost there."

"Why would Clockwork want us to come here?" Tucker hissed as their old beat-up fan made a turn into a road that had the trees cut into arches above their heads. It was so obviously fancy that the three got highly uncomfortable. Even Sam's house wasn't so drenched in wealth, and this was just the front entrance.

"Maybe he wants us to investigate a haunted mansion." Danny offers, "Since we're in the area and all."

Danny leans back in his seat. He glances over at Sam; upon noticing the blanket she was using had slid down, he reaches over to tuck her in.

It's just as he sits back that his enhanced sight catches the faintest outline of a man in the trees, crouched down on a branch and watching them. Danny's heart spams, but he has no time to react further as the van moves on and the man's figure disappears in the floral.

"Holy shit!" Danny swears loudly, causing Tucker to jump and tilt the van.

"Dude!" Tucker hisses, "Don't do that! You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry, sorry." Danny places a hand over his heart, trying to calm the rapid beating. "I think I just saw a demon. Pretty sure that's what Clockwork wanted us to investigate."

"A demon?" Jazz whimpers, eyes flickering all over the trees with unease. "Are you sure it was a demon?"

"It looked liked like a one," Danny responds. "I highly doubt some guy will just go around dressed like a bat for fun."

" Great. Just great. A demon, that's going to be so much fun to deal with," Tucker complains, pressing on the gas more. They don't call him out as the feeling of being watched becomes suffocating.

The sooner they're out of the open, the better.

The end of the driveway opens up to a grand manor that would have made any noble Lord green with envy. Tucker drives around the giant fountain, pulling up to the park in front of the stairway of the main entry.

He squints out the front window as he loops before gasping. "Is that Clockwork?"

The Fenton Siblings each press their noses to the glass of their windows when they come to a complete stop. Both gasped at the exact same time and in the same volume at the man who was casually waiting for them at the door.

It's obviously Clockwork, but he's not in the form they are used to. Not the flouting child, not the sticking middle-aged man, or the aged old entity. No, the form Clockwork uses is a man in his early fifties, with the grace of a sliver fox and, oh, not a ghost.

"Hello, children," Clockwork says, walking down the stairs to meet them. The three are staring at him with slack jaws, half out of their vehicle but lingering in their doors just in case.

Sam snores.

"I'm ever so glad you have come." Clockwork continues, his green eyes flickering with mirth. A smile pulls at his lips, causing laughing lines to appear around his eyes, and it complements his warm bridge skin. He is not blue. "Not a moment too late. Punctual as ever, Jasmine."

"I- ugh, thank you, sir." Jazz shutters before getting her wits about her. "Why did you call us?"

"I will be delaying your trip for the next week." Clockwork lifts up a hand as if to stop any complaints this announcement may cause, which isn't really necessary, seeing as none of them can find the strength to speak. "I will, of course, make it possible to make up the time lost. I just need you four to act as my children for the next week."

"Why?" Tucker's voice is barely above a whisper.

"I can only keep this form for seven days, as I am not a halfa, but in that time, I hope to woo a man. He is a family man through and through, so if I can show him that I am more than capable of caring for a large family, it will help me in the long run." Clockwork then shrugs. "Plus, I need an anchor, and what better than four virgins?"

"Hey!" Danny shouts offended.

Clockwork raises a brow. "Am I wrong, Daniel?"

"No, but you didn't have to expose me like that," Danny grumbles.

"Who are you trying to woo?" Jazz asks, trying to steer the conversation back on track.

Clockwork's cheeks gain a reddish hue, and the three eyes practically pop out of their socket. They never knew the time god could be so...human. It's jarring. "Alfred Pennyworth. The butler of Wayne Manor, four houses down from our manor."

"A butler?" Tucker repeats slowly, "You, the god of time and overseer of all that is, has been, and will be, want to seduce a butler?"

"Yes. He is the love of my core," Clockwork nods determinedly.

Well, who can argue with that?

"Alright." Danny agrees. "So what's our cover story?"

"Yes, my four children- all adopted- and I have recently decided to go learn about our family roots and visit our ancestral home. Only to remodel and check out the family records, we will be out by the end of the week to our next grand adventure. We are old money but one that faded from importance due to lack of contact with the rest of high society. To remedy this, I will be taking you to high-class events." Clockwork sighs dreamily. "We were invited by the Waynes to a gala tomorrow night as a welcome-back party. There, I will see Alfred."

"Alright. And the demon?"

"Demon?"

"A man in the driveway that looked like a bat." Danny helpfully says, even though his voice wavers slightly.

"Oh, you mean Bruce. Yes, that's Alfred's son. Don't worry; he can not cross our driveway. I put a spell that causes humans to forget why they were coming here if not invited by us. Also, he is not a demon. He is a human who dresses like a bat to fight crime. Bruce's children dress like birds to help him."

There is silence that sounds louder than it should as they all take in this information. Clockwork smiles at him, mischievous and graceful in equal parts as they try to make sense of the weird kid Alfred the Butler has.

"I'm going to need a lot of stress-reducing teas for this week." Jazz sighs.

"We can go buy some for you tonight," Clockwork promises, pulling out a black card and grinning with all his teeth. "We're old money now, darling."

"oh my god."

Master Post Link

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #Woo thy Butler my Lord #Old Timers #Fake family #Clockwork is human and here to simp #Bruce was checking out the new neighbors. He's suspicious of them #Team Phantom just wanted to check out colleges

[blackbirdi]

Batfamily Incorrect Quotes #1

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason: *Blatantly falls*

Dick: Did you just fall?

Jason: No! I … attacked the floor.

Dick: Backwards?

Jason: I’m fuckin’ talented, okay!?

———————————

*Meeting Steph for the first time*

Bruce: Hold on, I don’t believe I caught your name.

Steph: I didn’t throw it.

Bruce:

———————————

Jason: Duke’s crying. What do I do?

Dick: Comfort him.

Jason: How?

Dick: Start with a hug.

Jason: … A - a what?

Dick: You need love.

———————————

Steph: You’re bleeding out a lot and Alfred says you need a blood transfusion. What’s your blood type?

Tim: *Wheezing* B … positive …

Steph: *Panicking* I-I’m trying, but you’re bleeding a lot!

Tim: *Stops wheezing and looks up at her in confusion* What?

———————————

Steph: Four months…

The rest of the Batfam: *Turning to Cass* What’s she talking about?

Cass: *Giggling slightly* Oh, it’s nothing.

Steph: THAT’S HOW FUCKING LONG YOU ALL STOOD THERE. WATCHING ME. WATER A FUCKING PLASTIC PLANT!

Cass: *Cackles*

———————————

Jason: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

Steph: It becomes *finger guns* daytrogen.

Jason: *Groans* I’m going home.

Duke: Good nitrogen.

Dick: Sleep tightrogen.

Tim: Don’t let the bedbugs bitrogen.

Jason: *Angry screaming as he walks away*

———————————

Bruce: Damn; the power went out again.

Young!Dick: Don’t worry, I got this. *Shakes* See? *Glows*

Bruce, concerned DadTM: WHAT!?

Young!Dick: *Proud* I swallowed a glowstick!

Bruce: *Stressed the fuck out* WHY WOULD YOU SWALLOW A GLOWSTICK!?

———————————

Literally anyone in the Batfam: How much sleep did you get last night?

Tim: I got a solid eight minutes. Not consecutively. But you’re not even that blurry.

———————————

Damian: How do I tell Drake I want to hit him with a chair?

Jason: Don’t tell him, just do it.

———————————

Dick: How would it feel to have a knife shoved up your ass?

Jason: Keep asking dumbass questions like that and you’ll have an answer.

Dick: *Backs away slowly*

———————————

Dick: Okay, everyone, let’s hug it out now!

Everyone else: *Grumbling as they group hug*

Bruce: Okay, who took my wallet?

Steph: *Whispering as she pockets it* Sorry.

#batfam #batman #nightwing #red hood #red robin #robin #signal dc #spoiler dc #orphan dc #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #duke thomas #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #incorrect quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #batfamily #batfamily incorrect quotes

[superbat-love]

Dick shivered and pulled the blanket tighter around himself. Someone must have changed the settings on the AC unit to freezer mode. Mumbling curses under his breath, Dick threw his blanket aside and went out of his room to investigate.

Stepping outside his room, he slipped and had to grab onto the doorframe to stop himself from falling. Dick stared in disbelief at the frost-covered walls and flooring of the manor. Had Mister Freeze escaped from Arkham again?

“Dick! Great timing!” Bruce's voice echoed down the hallway, and Dick turned to see Bruce barreling towards him on ice-skates, holding a fishing net as if it were an ice hockey stick. Dick couldn't believe his eyes. Either he was having a nightmare, or Bruce had finally snapped under all the stress. Dick knew he had to find Alfred.

“Grab him!” Bruce yelled, gesturing upwards with the fishing net. Dick followed Bruce's gaze and gasped in shock. There was a baby floating above him. Forget Alfred—they needed to call a priest.

“Quick! Before he gets away!”

Steeling himself, Dick leaped toward the baby, yelling in triumph as his arms closed around the tiny tot. But instead of falling back to the ground, they continued to rise toward the open skylight.

“Bruce, he’s carrying me away!” Dick screamed, panic rising within him.

“Dick!”

"Hey Dick, you forgot your pants!" Jason yelled out to him when he spotted them from the front yard.

Just as Dick thought that they were about to fly through the stratosphere, he felt strong arms embrace him.

“Don’t worry, I got you. You’re both safe now,” Clark said, smiling brightly like the sun.

#superbat baby ef #dc headcanon #dc fanfic #episodic fic #drabble #text post #dc #superbat #batfam #batfamily #superman x batman #batman x superman #superman/batman #batman/superman #superman #batman #clark kent #bruce wayne #robin #nightwing #dick grayson #red hood #jason todd

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hello!

I've been getting very into DC again, from all the comics I had in my attic.

So i would like to request a "meeting the batfam" like think.

Being Bruce's new boyfriend and meeting the kids and how would they react.

Have a nice day! (You're the only think keeping me from commiting a crime/jk)

Bruce Wayne x male reader

Headcanons

Ive been on a kick lately of making half-god characters, so reader is the son of a god, hehe ^^

You were the son of Ares, a half god, and the son of a god most feared, and that the Justice league had fought many times.

So, by relation, many people didn’t trust you when they learned about your parentage. Had you been any crueler of a person, that might have driven you down a path where you followed in your fathers’ footsteps, but you weren’t.

You ended up inheriting many of his powers, even gaining his clairvoyance and precognition in dreams. Said dreams had been your first sign that you were more than just your average person, as you foresaw many of the larger disasters around the world.

There ends up being a sense of duty in your heart as your dreams keep warning you about an invasion of earth, becoming more and more detailed every night. It reaches a point where you think you are going mad.

As a last-ditch effort, you end up in Gotham, where you spend days trying to find any of the bats, just trying to find somebody to believe you. In the end, you stumble across Bruce, who probably thinks you are on something because of the less than put together state you are in.

That is until you spill everything you have been dreaming about, and how its all happened, and how this dream keeps haunting you every night.

Bruce of course listens to everything you have to say, and takes you as seriously as anything else he would. He keeps your warning in mind and gets prepared, and when your precognition comes to pass, he is ready.

From then in, Bruce passes by your place every now and then, as you end up moving to Gotham as Batman is the only hero you feel takes you seriously.

Hes the one to help you figure out your true parentage, and gets you in contact with some people who can help you deal with your new developing powers. You two end up bonding a lot, and over time, fall in love.

You both make each other feel like a full person and like you are understood. The relationship is kept quiet on Bruces end, not because he doesn’t trust his family or anything, but because he just wants to keep it to himself for a bit.

It does get a bit hard to hide the hand shaped bruises on his hips or torso when your godly strength slips out, but Bruce has lived with worse aches and bruises in his life, so its not something people notice.

You never went out of your way to become a hero, even with your godly powers. You are happy living your life and being together with Bruce, much of your stress gone since you know Bruce will believe you when it comes to your dreams.

When the day finally comes where you go to meet his family, you can’t help but feel a little nervous. Sure, you’ve met them in passing as their vigilante alter egos, when they’ve followed Bruce during his meetings with you, but this will be as Bruces lover.

Bruce is endeared by how hard you want to make a good impression, how you fuss with your hair and your clothes to be most presentable. When you ask him if you need to bring a gift or something, he just laughs a little and kisses your forehead, telling you to stop worrying as he’s sure they’ll love you.

The family all know Bruce is bringing his lover that night for family dinner, but they all don’t know who it is, even Alfred is in the dark.

They are all a bit on edge, as Bruce doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to partners. And since he didn’t tell them a name, they assume its not the people he’s normally been with, like Selina or Talia.

Imagine their surprise when Bruce arrives with you on his arm, from your civilian clothes to your sheepish smile, to you looking downright nervous to meet them as you clearly want to make a good first impression.

It might take a bit for any of them to recognize you, as only a few of them might have met you in passing, but you probably end up telling them during dinner when they ask how you and Bruce met.

I can’t see them being against you more than they would any other partner, especially when you go out of your way to use your dreams and abilities to help as many people as possible.

Cass is most likely the one to warm up to you first, as she can easily read that you are a good person who loves Bruce very much, and Cass’s approval makes the others become less tense and more open to the idea of you.

Alfred is also happy that Bruce has found someone who isn’t a criminal or assassin for once, even though they all know you could punch a guy to smithereens if you wanted too, thanks to your godly strength.

But your personality makes it clear that’s not something you want to do, so that gives you extra points in their books. They most likely use their knowledge from Diana and her parentage when it comes to you, incase you end up doing something a little too godly without realizing.

They’ve all been around many different kinds of people and beings, so I don’t think anything you do put them off. They’ll all just need time to warm up to you, and see with their own eyes that you truly do love Bruce, and that Bruce loves you back just as much.

It would take a while, as they were all trained by Bruce and are all suspicious of anybody and take forever to trust. It starts to make you think they’ll never like you, even when Bruce tells you they will, they just need time.

You know you’ve gained their trust when they start showing up in your apartment, be it after patrol, during the day, or any other time, they’re likely to just appear. This also means you end up learning a lot more first aid than you thought you’d ever need.

The last to trust you is Damian, but you can tell you scored a win when he demands you learn self-defense, as your form is horrible, and he drags you down to the cave to walk you through the basics.

Bruce feels like his heart could burst with love when he sees his family accepting you, and he couldn’t be any happier. The batfam is pretty damn happy too, as Bruce starts taking care of himself because of you.

Can’t have a date if he hasn’t slept in days, or if he’s covered in bruises or has broken bones. You probably end up spending a lot of time at the manor too, since Bruce can’t just go into town to spend time in your apartment during the day, or else the paparazzi would find out about the relationship almost immediately.

So, all in all, his kids would like you quite a lot after they got enough time to learn what kinda person you were, and what your morals were. They might even start seeing you as a safe person to go too when they need someone to talk too or just need some company.

#male reader #batman #bruce wayne #dc #batfam #justice league #bruce wayne x male reader #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne headcanon #batman imagine #batman headcanon #batman x male reader #batman x reader #dc imagine #dc headcanon #dc x male reader #dc x reader #justice league x reader #justice league imagine #justice league headcanon #justice league x male resder #batfam headcanon

[xxmrs-waynexx]

Young Again

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x wife!reader (batmom)

Warnings: Fluff, comfort, Bruce is slightly OOC but it's for the plot.

Ever since Bruce came back from his latest mission, you tried your best to help him relax. He was always on edge and very clearly tense. This man was not doing okay this time around and it was stressing you out too. No matter how hard you tried, all the noises, movement, and whatever else happening in the manor was just too much for him. You assumed that whatever had happened with Scarecrow must’ve had something to do with fear toxin. 

So, you confided in Alfred. Who else would know your husband better than yourself? The two of you sat outside drinking tea and chatting.

“I just don’t know what else to do. He can’t stay in the cave all day planning and checking every news source for trouble, but he also isn’t able to help with the chaos of all the kids,” you explained.

Alfred thought for a moment before sighing, “Why don’t you two stay home tomorrow? I will go out with the young ones and be back by dinner time.” The older man gave you a kind and reassuring smile. “He will be back to himself before we know it. I have learned that sometimes the best way to make any progress is to take a break. Especially for master Bruce.”

And so you did. The next morning, you were sure to let Bruce sleep in. You didn’t mind being held for a bit longer than usual. By lunchtime, you two had finally pulled yourselves out of bed. It had been months since you’d last cooked. Usually, you helped Alfred but being on the PTA for your kids’ school was getting very busy as it neared winter break.

Cooking was something you used to do with Bruce in college. It used to be a fun bonding activity for you two in the communal kitchen in your dorm building. You’d avoided asking him if he wanted to since you knew he had a lifetime ban, courtesy of Alfred.

As you looked in the pantry, Bruce came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “I just had the greatest idea on earth,” he mumbled in his deep, sleepy voice.

“Listen, if this is about your plan for Penguin, I already told you that it was good and that-”

“No,” he chuckled softly. “I think we should cook dinner for the family. They’ve probably had a long day and it’s the least we can do.”

His smile is what made you agree. You knew the reasoning was far beyond what he said. He wanted to relive the ‘good old days.’ And if Alfred wasn’t home to tell him no?

____

The kitchen was an absolute disaster. Dishes and ingredients were scattered all over the countertops. You did your best to help keep things in order, but you did have a little enjoyment for the chaos. Your combined laughter filled the kitchen and it was like you two were young and new to each other again.

“Okay, Bruce, now the flour. Not too much. Just use what’s left of the bag in there,” you said, back turned to his figure looking into the pantry.

“There’s just the unopened sack,” he said gruffly, pulling it out of the pantry and slamming it on the counter.

“...Alfred would buy the biggest bag known to man,” you let out a soft chuckle. However, upon turning around, you saw that perhaps slamming a bag of flour onto the counter was not quite the best idea. “Bruce!” Your eyes were wide with both amusement and shock.

Bruce stood in front of you, eyes squeezed shut, covered in flour. “I didn’t think-”

“No, you didn’t,” you laughed. You grabbed a wet cloth and began wiping off his face.

He wrapped his arms around you and you screamed, “NO! Bruce!” 

He chased you around the kitchen with flour in his hands, ready to throw when close enough. “Why do you get to stay clean and I don’t?” He asked, grinning like a madman. This was done with the same amount of energy as your yearly snowball fights- though usually you were on his side.

Once you realized the kitchen was too small to stay away from him, you bolted to the family room. “Bruce! Stop!” your laughs clouded your shouts. “You’re crazy!”

“Yeah?” he stalked you through the living room, the flour in his hands getting everywhere.

“Alfred is going to kill us- No, you,” you laughed.

“Who cares? It was fun. I feel young again,” he told you finally reaching you. He had you cornered between a bust of who-knows-who-that-guy-was and the wall.

Dinner was going to be fun.

#dc imagine #dc #dc comics #dc fanfic #batman #batman fandom #bruce wayne #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x wife!reader #batman x reader

[devilfic]

sleeping headcanons about bruce/reader… need to see that man rest, or like blink for more than a second

you are so real for this

bruce would be the type of boyfriend/husband that HAS to sleep closest to the door. like if the door is facing one side of the bed, that's the side he always sleeps on. same with windows. it helps him sleep knowing that if someone were to break in, they'd have to go through him before they got to you

does not EVER wear a full set of pajamas. hasn't worn them since alfred stopped trying to force him into the little silk pjs he had as a child

he has three looks for bed: oversized band tee + ratty pajama pants, shirtless + ratty pajama pants, or briefs. just the briefs

when his hair is long, he keeps a few hair ties on his wrist to tie it up when he's washing his face before bed

("wash" is generous... he's splashing his face with cold water)

when his hair is short, he does not bother keeping it out of his face. he comes out of the bathroom with his hair dripping down his forehead and you buy him one of those cute fluffy headbands for him to use

bonus points if you get him a sanrio headband

bonus bonus points if you get him one with kuromi on it like THIS and you get a matching my melody one

he's a super light sleeper, like you could slip out of bed to use the bathroom and you'll hear him suck in a breath like "everything ok?"

this also makes him a little restless on really bad stormy nights :((

he refuses to wear earplugs or a sleeping mask because he gets very worried about being at a disadvantage in case something happens

the best you can do for him is let him curl up to your chest and let him get caught up in your heartbeat instead

him being a light sleeper also means he randomly wakes up throughout the night as soon as he has to use the toilet or gets a craving for something to eat, so be prepared for him to move around quite a bit

when he actually IS asleep tho, he does not move at all

he also doesn't naturally cuddle when he's sleepy unless he's cold, he usually is the one being cuddled

sleeptalks

this happens more often when he's got a lot on his mind (so all the time) and you'll usually hear him saying random, incoherent sentences or calling out names

it actually really embarrasses him when you tell him he does this because alfred and his roommates at boarding school used to comment on it when he was younger and he just assumed he'd grown out of it but. let's be honest. he hasn't slept with another person in the same room for years. don't know why he came to that conclusion

it's also a little rare when you catch it because he tends to fall asleep only after you do

you catch it more in the morning when he's sleeping off a long night of batmanning

it's best not to tell him if he's said anything embarrassing,,, it will literally keep him up all night

it gets a little worse when he has nightmares. you can hear him calling out joker or the riddler's name seconds before he wakes up in a cold sweat

you don't tell him exactly what you hear, but you always ask if he's ok and if he'd like to head back to bed with you or not

since he was raised by Real Brit Alfred Pennyworth, alfred did sort of imprint upon him a tea addiction

there's one particular blend that alfred swears used to put bruce out like a light when he was sick so you make that for him when he's particularly stressed and it always works wonders

speaking of him being sick. he is a COMPLETELY different sleeper when he's sick

sleeps like the dead, snores LOUDLY, cuddles like crazy

it's actually the worst because he'll be so happy to pull you in and lay his head on your shoulder but then. he drools. and the. snot. the snot.....

you can imagine that whenever he's sick, you may as well be sick too

he does have the decency to wait until you start sneezing before he gives you a nasty little cough syrup-flavored kiss like the disgusting germ gremlin he is

he won't complain about feeling bad but he will sometimes have a little delirious moment where he'll be all cute and beg you to come to bed with him because he can't sleep if you're not there next to him

like you may go sleep in one of the guest rooms until his cold passes and you'll wake up to him curled up on the loveseat on the other side of the room or even just straight up laying across the foot of the bed so he won't accidentally cough in your face

it's hard to get him to fall asleep but sometimes he pushes himself to such an extreme limit that he accidentally falls asleep anywhere

in the cave? he's passed out on his desk

working on his car? takes a quick little power nap under the engine

in the middle of a business meeting? nodding off in the chair

has fallen asleep on the floor on the WAY to bed before and when you wake him up he doesn't even realize that he never actually got there

also slipping this in here for indulgence purposes but if you've adopted dick, dick will fall asleep on bruce anywhere

like he'll see bruce conked out on the couch like a dad who insists on getting up at the ass crack of dawn and just scooch on in and fall asleep on his shoulder

even FURTHER, if you guys adopt ace, he will nap on dick

the three of them can regularly be seen napping all over the place as the years go on. thank god your bed is big enough for all four of you

having dick and the dog actually makes bruce sleep more and also more soundly because when they're sleeping on top of him it's like a weighted blanket. like if a cat fell asleep in ur lap u wouldn't get up would you? you would simply sit there and rot. same thing with bruce

last thought but I also think as bruce gets older, he's going to fall asleep more often and that will result in a lot of conversations that go like this

bruce: that was a good movie

you: you fell asleep halfway through

bruce: I was resting my eyes

you: I paused the movie and you didn't even react

bruce: I was watching the movie

you: so who died at the end?

bruce: the villain

you: no one died at the end!!! we were watching paddington 2!!!!

but also somehow hears you if you make fun of him in his vicinity. you put a phone in this man's face to take a picture of him sleeping and when you go to look at the photo you see his eyes open like this

jumpscare warning: robert

taglist: @yikes-buddy @alexxavicry @theclassicvinyldragon @angxlictexrs @moonlightreader649 @geekyfer @thescarletfang @navs-bhat

#bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne headcanons #bruce wayne scenarios #bruce wayne fluff #bruce wayne fic #bruce wayne #batman x reader #batman headcanons #batman scenarios #batman fluff #batman fic #the batman #battinson x reader #battinson #dc #mjwrites

[clockwayswrites]

Like Betta Fish Do Part 28

wc: 3020, masterpost

“I get why you insisted on picking me up,” she said as she watched the black sedan part the sea of reporters outside of Wayne Manor. Her hand made a half aborted motion, like she wanted to fidget with with her hair despite the red being cropped close to her scalp in a pixie cut.

The haircut would be a new thing, or new enough that in stress old habits were still there. Perhaps something she did when moving into her doctorate. A new hair cut to go with a new stage of life. She went for an extreme though, maybe trying to shed a metaphorical weight or maybe a bob would have been too much like her mother’s hair. Maybe both.

Dick gave his head a little shake and tried to stuff the parts of himself that couldn’t help be analyze someone away.

It was worse with the stress of it all.

“I know, right? They’ve been crazy,” Dick said with a laugh.

“You don’t have to do that, you know.”

Dick blinked. “Do what?”

“Pretend everything is okay. You don’t have to do what with me. After all, we’re both big siblings, aren’t we?” Her own, wry smile didn’t reach her aquamarine eyes.

Dick wanted to protest and for a moment he almost did. Then Dick just sighed and let himself slump into his seat. “That obvious?”

“No, I just know what it’s like,” Jazz said.

“I shouldn’t be putting this on you though, not with what happened to Danny—”

She held up manicured hand. “Don’t. Suffering isn’t a competition. Besides, I got to learn this happened knowing that Danny was already safe and being taken care of. I didn’t have to think he was dead like you all did. I also didn’t have to learn about all the rest of it. It’s hard, isn’t it?”

“Knowing my little brother is still dead?” Dick gave a bitter bark of a laugh. “Yeah, it’s hard.”

“Half dead,” Jazz said with a smile that was all too understanding. “That half part is important to them. They’re half dead. They’re half alive. They aren’t the little brothers we had before and that’s hard. It’s okay for that to be hard.”

Dick rubbed at his face. “It shouldn’t change anything.”

“But it does.”

“It does.”

“That’s alright,” Jazz soothed. “It’s a big fact, of course it’s going to change things. As long as he’s still your little brother and you love him then the rest won’t matter so much, not with some time.”

The car came to a stop in the garage. Dick let himself take a deep breath as the door rolled closed. It was always about needing time, but at least they still had it.

“Well, Miss Nightingale, shall we go inside?”

“Thank you, Mister Grayson,” she said and took his offered hand to get out of the car. “And thank you again for the ride, Alfred. Picking me up from WE was the right move.”

“And you needn’t worry about your car, it will be safe in the parking garage,” Alfred assured her.

She covered an amused snort with her hand. “You saw my car, no one is going to try and steal that old thing.”

Alfred held the door to the house open. “Perhaps slightly more worried about the press hoping to find something.”

“Would they really break into my car?”

“They would,” Tim said from where he was standing inside the door, typing away on a tablet. “Gotham’s lost prince shows up at a gala with his mystery boyfriend and then proceeds to press the kill button for said boyfriend? The press is going insane for it. If it was just Gotham’s press it would be one thing, but it’s broken containment and fast. Have you said anything to any reporters? Even any non statements? Is there anything that the might dig up on you, other than your parents, that we need to know about?”

“Jazz, this is Tim. We’re sorry about him,” Dick said with a strained smile. It only got worse when he took in Tim and the heavy bags under Tim’s eyes. “Tim, when was the last time you slept?”

Tim waved the question away. “I had a power nap after breakfast.”

“What Master Timothy means is that he fell asleep at the table mid-meal,” Alfred chastised as he continue into the manor proper.

“Still counts,” Tim muttered. Finally he looked up from his tablet to blink listlessly at them. “Well?”

“Tim,” Dick chastised.

“No, it’s fine,” Jazz said with a patient smile of someone used to behavior like this. “It really is… everywhere. I haven’t said anything to any press other than ‘no statement’ and I can’t think of anything. Well, I mean, I have a girlfriend but if they have an issue with her they already have Danny and Jason to rage over. How is Danny handling it all?”

“Tim has blocked all social media from the manor. You need a password to get through it and I don’t think they’ve been bored enough to try and crack it yet,” Dick said.

Jazz looked thoughtful. “That’s probably best. I’m alright with you asking more questions, but can I see Danny first, please?”

Tim blinked as if startled by the thought. “Yes, right, of course. They’re probably still in the library, that’s where I saw them last.”

“That was yesterday,” Dick pointed out.

“Oh, well,” Tim tilted his head but didn’t stop talking. “I bet I’m still right.”

Dick just sighed and exchanged a look with Jazz. Little brothers.

-

Jazz crouched down in front of the couch and reached out to run her fingers through Danny’s hair.

“Danny.”

“Nn.”

The corner of her mouth ticked up. “Danny.”

“’ive m’er min, Jazz,” he mumbled sleepily.

“If you don’t get up, I’m calling Cujo.”

“I’m up, I’m up!” Danny explained and jolted awake before he was left just blinking confessedly at the room. When the rest of it snapped together for him he smiled brightly. “Jazz!”

“Danny!”

“Your hair looks even better in person!” Danny said, reaching out to ruffle the short locks.

“I don’t care if you’re on your deathbed Danny, I will bite you.”

Danny sighed dramatically as he sat up properly. “I never get to die on a bed. At least this time I was sitting.”

Jazz leaned forward and wrapped Danny up into a crushing looking hug. “Oh Danny, what am I going to do with you?”

“Still don’t have an answer for you there, Jazz,” Danny said. He was practically curled around Jazz and stayed that way as she shifted to sit with him on the couch.

She looked up at Jason who was still standing awkwardly by the couch where he had greeted her. “You can sit. I don’t bite.”

Jason snorted. “You just threatened to bite Danny. I don’t believe you.”

“Her bites aren’t bad,” Danny said with a yawn. “But her aim is horrible. And don’t let her have a baseball bat. She’s lethal with one of those.”

The almost fanged way that Jazz smile made that easy to believe.

“I approve of you, Nightingale,” Damian said with a decisive nod from the armchair he was occupying.

“What are you going to do now that there are two Nightingales?” Tim asked, far too innocently.

Damian scowled, his whole face scrunched up before he gave a sharp shrug. “I am confident that the Nightingales are intelligent enough to know which one I am referring to.”

Jason shook his head at the easy way the brat seemed to accept Jazz and settled on the far side of the couch from her, leaving Dick and Tim to take the two seater.

“You didn’t have to come all this way, Jazz,” Danny said, though his words were at odds with how thoroughly he had relaxed into her side.

Jazz rolled her eyes. “You were electrocute Danny, again. Of course I was going to come see you. Even if classes were in session, you’re more important than them.”

“Hum, fine,” Danny said with a huff of air. Somehow he settled in even further to his sister’s side. “Sam, Val, and Tucker send their love. With all the crazy press I told them to stay away so not to get caught up in this.”

“It is something for sure,” Jazz agreed. “How are you doing?”

“I’m tired and tired of being tired, it sucks. Oh, I’ve got more Lichtenberg scars!” Danny stuck his legs up in the air. His fuzzy, Nightwing patterned pants slid down his legs enough to show the scarring that wrapped around his ankles. The marks were still raised and red. Jason caught the legs as they dropped and settled them into his lap. He couldn’t help but run his thumb over the mark as soft reassurance that Danny was there and alive despite it all. “Not sure if these will stick around since they’re not ghostly.”

“You need to stop collecting them. No more getting electrocuted, big sister’s order.”

“Second that on boyfriend’s orders,” Jason said.

“Thirding that from the in-laws,” Dick said. In-laws? “Aw look at that, Jaybird is blushing.”

Jason pulled a throw pillow out from behind him and lobbed it at Dick. “Shut it.”

Dick easily caught the pillow with a laugh. “Jason and Danny, kissing in a tree—”

“Grayson, try to not be an embarrassment,” Damian said with a sigh.

“What? Jason and Danny could totally kiss in a tree. Danny can fly! I mean, not that we’ve seen it yet but he says he can,” Dick said.

“Oh he can. Nothing like walking into your little brother’s room to find him sitting on the ceiling,” Jazz said. “It was an interesting childhood.”

“It makes hanging things easy too,” Jason teased.

Danny sighed dramatically. “I knew you were just into me to be your glorified ladder.”

“That’s just because he wants to climb you,” Tim muttered absently.

Jason held up his hands for Dick to throw the pillow back to him and then lobbed it at Tim. It smacked Tim square in the face, making his little brother’s shoulders slump as it landed on his tablet.

“Really?”

“Don’t be crude,” Jason said.

Tim glared at Jason from under his bangs. The kid’s hair was getting long again. “Oh that’s rich coming from the Red Hood.”

“Red Hood?” Jazz’s voice cracked slightly.

Jason buried his face in his hands with a groan.

“Oh, shit, did she now know? I thought she knew!”

The whole couch shifted as Danny pulled himself up by Jason’s shirt so that he could cuddle him. “It’s okay, I love my hero.”

“Vigilante,” Jason mumbled.

“Daniel John Nightingale!” Jazz screeched. “Tell me you’re not doing vigilante stuff again!”

“Ooooooh full named!” Dick heckled.

“I am not doing vigilante stuff again,” Danny said.

“He’s really not,” Jason promised as he shifted Danny around to be more comfortable. “That’s just family business. I wouldn’t ask him to get involved.”

“Family…,” Jazz said. Jason watched her eyes dart from Danny to Jason to the rest of them. “Ancients you’re all, what would you call it? Various Batmen?”

“Usually we just go with Bats,” Tim said with a little shrug. “Especially since we’re not all, or only, men.”

“Okay, Bats,” Jazz said with a sigh. “Really, Danny?”

Danny shrugged, completely unrepentant by the way he smiled. “I didn’t know! I didn’t even know Jason was a Wayne until just before we started dating. That one is maybe on me though, I’m bad with faces.”

“You always have been,” Jazz said. “Really though, no hero stuff?”

“None. I’m focused on school. Well, and Jason. Dates are very nice, but mostly I’m focused on school. You can’t blame me for enjoying dates too!” Danny said.

Jazz laughed and shook her head. “No, I can’t. I’m glad you’re enjoying dates. Just try to stay out of the business, okay? I want you to be able to just enjoy your life. You have enough obligations waiting for you when you’re dead.”

“Do we have to work when we’re dead?” Tim asked desperately. “Please tell me we don’t have to work when we’re dead. That’s when I was planning to sleep.”

“No, Tim,” Jazz said gently. “Most people don’t work when they’re dead. Danny’s just an idiot—”

“Hey!”

“—who became the Ghost King without realizing what he was doing. His forever job starts when he dies.”

“Wait wait wait,” Dick spread his hands. “Danny is royalty?”

“Mhum.”

“Oh my god,” Dick said with a gleeful smile that Jason didn’t trust one bit. “Does that make Jason a prince? Queen? Does it feel like you’re in one of your regency books, Jay? What’s it like.”

Jason groaned and buried his face into Danny’s hair. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” Dick cooed.

“Oh good, Jason can work then,” Tim said. “I just want to sleep.”

“You can sleep now,” Jason pointed out. “No one is stopping you. Hell, Alfred would encourage it.”

“Can’t,” Tim said. “I’ve got to get this PR stuff done. Is this a diplomatic issue now too?”

“What can I answer to help?” Jazz asked in such a patently big sibling way that Jason glanced up to exchange a look with Dick. Having one more person after Tim to rest couldn’t hurt.

Tim pursed his lips. “We’ve already done the usual asking for respect during this difficult time. Babs and I have been working on making sure the part of the video where Danny asked Jason to press the button is in circulation and in the right hands. There have been some pointed emails sent. Bruce is going to go on tomorrow and give a brief statement— which we need some answers for. We’ve got Clark coming to interview in a few days to do a proper story. Luckily Vickie Val has made it easy for us to go out of Gotham for that story with how she’s been behaving.

“They’ve found out about your parents, of course, but we were able to respond instantly with your name change and, in all essence what was nearly emancipation with how quickly you did it and moved out. There are some character stories from old classmates though calling you odd but also defense from current ones that we’ve been pushing further up in the SEO. Between those details and his survival, it’s no wonder that the question of Danny being a meta is circling That’s the main thing we need to know how to address and if we want to play into it.”

Jason had to take a moment to respond to all that. He’d been so focused on helping Danny heal and stay happy that he hadn’t even thought half of that through. He knew the press were out there, of course they were, but… “You’ve really worked this out, haven’t you?”

Tim just blinked owlishly at him. “Of course I have. It’s what I do. I know you didn't like me looking into Danny when we first found out about you dating him, but… this is why I do those things. Not just to protect the family from other people, but to protect the people who get close to us. I can help direct the conversation because I know ahead of time that things like the Fentons will come up."

“Thank you Tim, really.”

“Um… you’re welcome,” Tim said before he looked back down at his tablet. “We do need to decide if we go the meta route at all. Would that cause issues with the Fentons? Do they also hate metas?”

“No,” Jazz said. “Well, they would basically look at superheroes to make sure they weren’t ghosts in disguise or possessed, but other than that they didn’t really mention metas. It was actually pretty much a non topic in our town with everything else.”

“But we’d have to be careful with what we say I can do or… well, they’ll clock me as a ghost. I’ve never wanted to find out what would happen then.”

“Is that why you didn’t want to go to a hospital?” Dick asked in that carefully gentle tone of his.

Danny shrugged. “That but more old fears. There used to be a group called the GIW that were government funded ghost hunters that had legal clearance, basically, to experiment and exterminate any ecto-entities. I really don’t want to be dissected like some classroom frog.”

“Vivisected,” Jazz corrected in such an absent way that it spoke of old arguments.

Jason clutched Danny closer to him.

“It’s okay. They never really were very above the board, it turned out, and when the power changed hands they lost their funding and just sort of disappeared.”

“But it doesn’t mean there fear did,” Dick summed up.

“We will look into them,” Damian said, standing. “To be certain that they are gone and no longer a threat to you or Todd. Drake, you will not be needed on this while you are in this sleep deprived state. I will seek Gordon’s help instead.”

“Hey! I can still—”

“Finish up asking us questions,” Jazz interrupted smoothly. “It wouldn’t be hard to spin Danny as a mild meta from the results of a lab accident.”

“Maybe even give a half truth,” Jason said. “He was electrocuted around some chemicals and he ended up with a mild resistance to it.”

“That could work,” Tim said, tapping away on his tablet. “Generally useless in day to day life other than cutting down on annoyances when wiring something but just enough to survive this sort of trap. Have Bruce throw in a joke about how Danny produces a lot of static electricity or something to lighten the mood.”

“And it would make it seem like Danny has a resistance, not a weakness, in case anyone tries something again,” Jason added.

“That would be nice. Being tased really, really sucks,” Danny whined.

Jason pressed a kiss to Danny’s temple. “I know, fish.”

“Yes, alright, Bruce will need to put it in his own Brucie wording but I think this will work,” Tim said with a little nod. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

---

AN: Rereading through this, this might just be the whole chapter. Maybe I'll make the interview it's own chapter to cut down on the shock of going to that style of pov and piece. And then the final* chapter? Thoughts thoughts...

Anyways, words are hard, brain is tired, here is Jazz!

You can subscribe to the masterpost here.

#dp x dc #dead on main #like betta fish do

[lazycats-stuff]

Hi! Could you do a Batfam x teen reader, where the reader does illegal street race, he sneaks out at night to go those race, and the Batfam found out about it !

Thank you ;)

I sure can do!

Summary: (Y/N) races illegally. The family doesn't know.

Warnings: illegal racing, (Y/N) is skilled, Bruce is mad, Jason is impressed, Damian is proud, Bruce is just done,

(Y/N) loved his dad and he often shared his interests with him. He also shared everything with his brothers. But he was harboring a secret that he couldn't tell anyone. He loved cars, which was not a secret to his family.

What was the secret?

(Y/N) raced illegally. Bruce knew that (Y/N) loved cars, but what he didn't know is that (Y/N) knew how to drive. Bruce had plans to get (Y/N) his license when he turned 18 years old, but when he was so young?

Not happening, at least in Bruce's eyes.

However, (Y/N) had an important night tonight. Last time he was on the track, a cocky bastard thought that he was better than him. (Y/N) gladly excepted.

If there was one thing that Bruce has taught him that he uses everyday, it's the fact that you should fear a person who doesn't brag about his skills. You can easily beat someone who brags. But the one who is silent?

Yeah, that will be a much more difficult task. H

Now he had to make a plan on how to sneak out. He had to wait until they went on patrol and until Alfred went down to the cave to make sure that nobody sees him.

He took his phone and looked into the hall. Alfred went into Bruce's office a few minutes prior, so he must be halfway down. (Y/N) took the opportunity to quietly walk to the garage. He tapped his pocket for the car key, checking to see if his favorite car key was in there.

That car is his baby and he would be damned if he didn't use his favorite. Bruce bought him this car last year and (Y/N) took great care of it. He cleaned it, washed it and took it outside to drive, but only in the property boundaries.

Now it was time to beat that shit head.

(Y/N) sighed in relief as he parked the car. He walked through the crowds, just enjoying the energy. It was just free, no stress, but it was also buzzing with excitement. Usually there were friendly races and talks about upgrades on your cars.

Tonight, it was a race with (Y/N) and the shit head who challenged him. (Y/N) still remembers how he first started. Everyone was nervous to have a Wayne kid, thinking that he wanted to get on the top with a snap of his fingers.

But (Y/N) kept his head down, was humble and respectful towards everyone and he showed his skills to everyone and he proved himself. He became very well liked and he made a good friend here, named Aaron.

" Hey (Y/N)! " Aaron said loudly to drown out the chatter of the other people. " Are you ready for the race? " He asked, smirking as (Y/N) pushed him away.

" Of course I am. " (Y/N) answered, accepting a water bottle from Aaron.

" I still can't believe somebody is so stupid. " Aaron mused to himself, shaking his head. (Y/N) is the best racer here and the fact that somebody new is so dense to think that he could beat him so stupid. Of course, (Y/N) is not invincible and unbeatable, but new people are often warned that (Y/N) is the best racer here.

But that doesn't stop people from challenging him. (Y/N) never hated being challenged, in fact, he loved it. No matter who it was, (Y/N) liked the challenge. Only if they aren't cocky and obnoxious about their skills.

The shit head is obnoxious beyond belief and there was nothing that could change (Y/N)'s mind. Absolutely nothing.

" Did you check the car? " Aaron said as they turned back to walk back to the car.

" I did. Yesterday, I didn't have a chance to do it today. I can't let my dad know what I'm doing. " (Y/N) confessed to Aaron who nodded in sympathy.

Aaron and (Y/N) are good friends and (Y/N) confided that this secret was a big burden on him. He didn't tell him about their night jobs of course, but he did tell Aaron that his dad has a very set moral standing. Of course, nothing is black and gray, but he would be mad if he found out.

" I know, but lets check it now. John should be somewhere near by to check it. "

John is (Y/N)'s mechanic and his mentor in a way. He took (Y/N) under his wing when he has first arrived here. John loves his job more than anything and has admitted that he sees (Y/N) as a son. The two had a very strong bond and they both cared about each other.

" Hey son. " John said, looking at the car. (Y/N) said hey back and gave him a quick side hug.

" How is the car looking? " Aaron asked, walking up to the duo.

" She looks good. Very well taken care of. Good job. " John praised, popping the hood open. (Y/N) smiled to himself, happy that his mentor was pleased.

" The engine looks good. I want you to wipe the floor with that shit head. " John said, closing the hood down.

" Yup. I heard him bragging. " Aaron said, groaning after seeing the shit head move through the crowd towards them. " And he is coming here. " Aaron said and John frowned at the shit head.

" Here is the famous Wayne. " He said, getting into (Y/N)'s face.

" Yup. I would suggest that you step away from me. " (Y/N) said, raising his chin. He level him with a bat glare that Bruce taught him. The shit head stepped back. " Now, if you are here to brag about your non existent skills, go back to wherever you crawled out of. " (Y/N) said and the shit head huffed.

" Go back to your car and get ready. " Aaron said, leading (Y/N) to sit in the car. The shit head moved, his groupie following him.

" If you don't wipe the floor with him, you are going to be in trouble. " John threatened (Y/N), glaring at the stupid kid who was walking away to his car.

" I will wipe the floor with him. " (Y/N) confirmed.

" Good. " Aaron muttered, shaking his head.

(Y/N) laughed as he stopped the car. He won by a landslide and he proves why he is so good. He got out of the car and hugged Aaron tightly.

" You did it! Ha! Take that you ass! " Aaron yelled at the shit head who walked off.

John congratulated (Y/N), giving him a hug. There was cheering and clapping and (Y/N) smiled. This felt nice. This is what he loved about this place.

" I knew you would do it. " John said, patting his back.

Everything felt nice.

" The police is here! "

Now that is not nice. Everyone scrambled to run away, but (Y/N) froze as he heard a familiar rumble of the Batmobile. Oh dear God no. Shit. Hell no. Not happening. Nope. This is not good.

" (Y/N) we have to go. " Aaron said, pulling him with him.

" Leave me. I will hold them off. " (Y/N) said, shaking his head. Aaron and John looked conflicted, but nodded when they saw the look in his eyes.

Turns out it wasn't the police, just Batman and the rest of the family. (Y/N) took a deep breath as he watched the Batmobile come to a stop. At the moment, (Y/N) was scared.

What were they going to say?

His dad stepped out of the car, in his suit, Batman persona on.

" Hey dad. " (Y/N) said sheepishly.

" Please don't tell me you are racing illegally. " He said and (Y/N) looked away.

" Oh no. " Bruce said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

" Do you at least win? " Jason asked as he walked up to (Y/N)'s car.

" I do. " (Y/N) said, eyes still locked on the ground.

" That's my brother. " Jason smiled underneath his mask.

" Good. You would be a disgrace to the family otherwise. " Damian piped in out of nowhere.

Dick sighed, shaking his head. " (Y/N), that is very dangerous. "

" And what you lot do isn't? " (Y/N) retorted, finally finding some strength to talk back.

" And what do you think Tim? " (Y/N) asked. He just looked at the car, then back at (Y/N).

" I mean, you really aren't hurting anybody. You are smart and you know how to avoid trouble. You know how to not get hurt. " Tim explained and Bruce sighed.

" Okay. We are going to have a talk after we all sleep. I'm going to say something that I will regret later. (Y/N) in the Batmobile, Dick you are driving his car. "

(Y/N) wanted to protest, but was silenced with a glare from his father. He sighed quietly as he went to the Batmobile. This is going to be an interesting conversation.

#dc x male reader #dc comics #x male reader #batfamily #bruce wayne x male reader #jason todd x male reader #batman x male reader #batkids #damian wayne x male reader #robin x male reader #tim drake x male reader #red robin x male reader #nightwing x male reader #dick grayson x male reader

[leafsheep]

We need to talk more about Joker Jr. bc that shit was DEVASTATING.

The recovery fic potential that whole incident has that so few people recognize.

More so, Joker Jr. and Red Hood being in the same continuity:

Tim is jumpy in the days following the Joker Jr. incident. He’s easily scared and Bruce can’t leave his side without having someone else there to be with him. He’s still trying to get over the toxins that Joker gave him.

Whenever he’s scared or significantly upset he can’t help it but start laughing. He has laughing fits constantly the first few weeks afterwards and he often cant stop until he ends up passing out. It’s heartbreaking for Bruce and Alfred to listen to the young boy cry while he holds his stomach in pain from laughing so long or cover his mouth in an attempt to stop it.

As the months pass Tim gets control of the laughing fits but they still can happen occasionally if he’s too stressed and upset.

Then he meets Red Hood.

Red Hood is in front of him and Tim knows this is Jason. This is Jason. This is the first Robin that the Joker hurt. This is the Robin that Tim grew up watching the most. This is the Robin that might be able to understand the pain Tim went through. And This Robin seems to want to fight him. This Robin hates him.

So Tim starts laughing.

And Jason, he knows that laugh.

The Replacement is laughing uncontrollably, holding his stomach and crying through it all.

And Jason can’t stomach it, but he can’t look away from the source of a laugh so similar to the laugh of the man that took his life, so he just stares in horror as this sixteen year old just laughs and cries in front of him.

#batman #dc comics #dc robin #jason todd #red hood #red robin #tim drake #joker jr

[incorrectbatfam]

Each batfam member’s recurring stress dream

Dick: he was an only child again

Jason: he became the shortest sibling

Tim: Bart and Kon were in charge of Titans Tower

Damian: he got a squirrel that turned out to be the last of its kind and he had to protect it in against an animal zombie apocalypse

Duke: tarantulas in the toilet that laughed like the Joker

Cullen: his pants fell down in front of the Justice League

Stephanie: the waffle iron broke so she had to carve her own squares onto a pancake

Cassandra: David Cain dragged her back to where she came from

Barbara: she had to substitute for Ms. Frizzle on a field trip through a wormhole

Harper: her hands were welded to watermelons

Carrie: she was made of peanut butter and couldn't stop eating herself

Kate: her car got stuck in the snow on Mount Everest

Alfred: a new law passed stating all eggs must be cubes and he was on the run from the FBI with the last carton of round eggs

Selina: Bat-Cow sucking her toes

Bruce: Jason

#dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #duke thomas #cullen row #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #barbara gordon #harper row #carrie kelley #kate kane #alfred pennyworth #selina kyle #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #dc comics #headcanon #tw angst #tw nightmares #tw arachnophobia #tw food mention

[auroreliis]

i just have one of the most life changing ideas ever and its- blind, deaf, and mute baking with the batfam. you can choose who’s who and who’s filming and who has the fire extinguisher ready.

Thank you for this request! It was entertaining to write :)

Yeah Alfred said no, so you had to wait until he and Bruce left the manor

Platonic Yandere!Batfam

Summary: Chaos in the kitchen (blind, mute and deaf baking)

CW: no warnings

(not edited or proofread)

This was going to be fun, that was for sure. However, the arguing that came along with it was maddening.

Currently all four of your brothers were talking over, shouting at and fighting with each other.

Together you had all decided to bake a cake while one of you was deaf, one mute and one blind. The only problem was that there were five of you, so either one role repeated or you had to find a different solution.

The primary source of the conflict was the question of who would have which role.

Dick requested to do it randomly, but Jason insisted that he and Damian should be mute, because they talk too much.

Damian, on the other hand, was not pleased with that solution and instead told Jason to just be deaf. However, Tim stated that he also didn't want to hear Damian and Dick talk.

Exhaling, you leaned your cheek against your palm with your elbow positioned on the kitchen counter. Maybe you should just call Alfred. The idea of all four of them getting in trouble was entertaining enough for you to subconsciously snicker. Just as quickly as it appeared, your smile dropped again when you heard what role they had decided for you.

"You'll be filming, alright, Songbird?", Dick pointed at you, expecting you to comply.

"What? No! I want to bake the cake too!", you protested, but to no avail. "No way! You'd burn the kitchen down", Dick dismissed you with the wave of his hand.

"Wow. So you trust Dick in the kitchen, but not me?", you turned to the others, not really believing they had any say in this at all. You were met with silence from their end.

Unbelievable. This was another thing about your new family. Everything fun was verboten. More specifically, anything that was even insignificantly risky, was off the table. Which sucked, since you were basically living off adrenaline.

You turned away from them to sulk in silence, knowing that they wouldn't change their minds.

By the time you had come to terms with the current arrangement, they had all settled and decided the following:

-Dick was mute

-Jason was deaf

-Tim and Damian were blind

While not completely satisfied, you realised that they would at least be somewhat entertaining to watch. Boredom was staring to get to you and you could only watch so many movies and TV shows before getting sick of them.

The start was...rocky, to say the least.

Tim and Damian were bumping into each other quite often. Neither were really happy when they realised who had just walked into them and after a while, they started searching for each other to purposefully bump into each other.

Dick was stressed, but you were having the time of your life. Sometimes you even called out to them, "Tim, watch out, Damian is to your left!", only to see them trying to ram into each other.

Dick was getting more peeved every time and his face always scrunched up. Every now and then, he would glance at you, wanting you to stop telling them each other's locations, but he could never ask you to stop. You were only helping your dear brothers stay safe, at the end of the day (and also he was mute).

Dick was having troubles. He relied on words so much, that being mute was really difficult for him. It was impossible to stand around and do nothing while the others argued and hit each other, but he couldn't diffuse any fights. He did try using sign language with Jason, but he mostly turned away from him and pretended to not to have seen him.

Jason often grabbed both Tim and Damian by the shoulders to guide them past any obstacles. What they didn't know, was that he would always make sure to leave some cake batter on their clothes. He would look to you afterwards and wink, implying that this stays between you and him.

Overall, Jason was doing great. He was in his own world, doing his own thing, listening to music and sometimes even humming or dancing along to it.

Damian was very irritated, especially when he, halfway through, noticed that his clothes were covered in cake batter. During the challenge, he often tried to identify Jason and trip him. He usually failed, since Jason avoided him, however he did succeed once. Jason fell and knocked Dick over along with him, luckily Dick couldn't say anything about it. Jason later tried to trip Damian as well, but he somehow managed to avoid falling every time.

Dick and Jason were the ones who did the most, because they could actually see, but Tim and Damian often tried to be involved more, even though it was a bad idea. Like when Tim accidentally knocked over the oil which Dick carelessly placed on the edge of the counter and Damian almost slipped on the puddle.

Tim stayed on the sidelines for most of the challenge. He did try to help, but it typically ended poorly. He just couldn't get used to the lack of vision. Even so, he did fling cake batter towards the source of Damian's voice when the latter mocked him for his lack of orientation.

When they had finally placed the cake into the oven, all of you exhaled in relief. You were starting to fear that you would suffocate from laughter. You had been laughing so much, that Dick considered setting up another camera, one which only filmed you and your radiant smile.

He did follow through with this. However, you only found out when you caught him rewatching the video a month later before going to bed. His proudest accomplishment, according to him, was finally making you enjoy spending time with them. You slammed the door when you left his room.

After a quick break you continued filming them when it was time to decorate.

Dick pushed everyone away and frosted completely by himself. However, nobody stayed still.

Damian, with sprinkles in hand, was tripped by Jason and stopped himself from falling by grabbing whatever was nearest to him. It just so happens that his hand landed on the cake.

Then another argument erupted, primarily because Jason was angry about the ruined cake.

Dick decided to rip off the tape from his mouth to diffuse the situation and end the challenge.

They all agreed that it was time to stop. You stopped filming and took a look around.

You lacked the vocabulary to describe the state of the kitchen after this challenge. "Chaotic" would be an understatement. Alfred would fall to his knees upon entering, only to quickly get up because his trousers would be covered in cake batter.

"So...when will dad and Alfred be returning?", you broke the awkward silence.

"I think they said on the 14th", Dick wiped his hands clean.

"Wait, what day is today?", Jason chimed in.

You were about to check on your phone when the sound of a door unlocking echoed through the manor

All of you exchanged looks.

Uh Oh...

#dick grayson #yandere dick grayson #jason todd #yandere jason todd #tim drake #yandere tim drake #damian wayne #yandere damian wayne #dc comics #platonic yandere #batfam #platonic batfam #yandere batfam #x reader

[mckinlily]

Every time I see one of the “Bruce Wayne collects orphans” or “where does Batman get all these children???” jokes, I get this little ping in my head because, yes, it is a good joke, very funny, bonus points if it’s other characters trying and failing to combine Broody McBroodface with Tired DadTM. But also… 

I just can’t shake the conviction that no one is as baffled and bewildered by his ever increasing number of children than Bruce Wayne himself.

Like, this man clearly never intended to be a dad. He is Vengeance and Justice Committed to The Mission. Kids don’t factor into that. And to that point, it’s worth noting that none of his kids were premeditated. At no point has Bruce ever thought “maybe I want a(nother) kid.” They just sorta…happen. And not even in the usual way! (Mostly)

Like, Dick? Bruce wasn’t going “orphan shopping.” He went to the circus to to relax for once in his godforsaken life and wow, would you look at that, a vivid recreation of his own trauma and, oh, who’s this kid Batman keeps running into on patrol, wait, this is the same kid?! Whoops, I guess I’m raising this kid now, Alfred how do you raise a kid!?!

Jason? Yeah, Bruce was just doing his usual Batman thing when he ran into a homeless kid and somehow got too attached. Tim just showed up one day and said, “hi, I’m your kid now, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.” (Really. you can’t stop me). Damien basically did the same thing, only with more stabbing. Cass…?? Stephanie????!!

(Bruce googling in the middle of the night: Is it normal to adopt your son’s ex-girlfriend?? Or did she adopt me??? Giving a kid an unlimited credit card and vigilante training counts as adoption, right??)

Point is, these kids just…show up, needing help, and somehow, for reasons that defy all logic, Bruce is the adult best equipped to help them. And yeah, Bruce never intended to adopt a kid (…or seven) and, no, he doesn’t exactly know what he’s doing, but these kids need him so he takes them in and does His Best because he’s the one who can. 

Which is all to say, I think we should see far more conversations re: Finding out Batman has approx. 5 million kids that go like this

Someone: What? Do crime-fighting orphans, just like...crawl out of the woodwork around you? Bruce, exasperated and visibly stressed: yeah, BASICALLY. 

#batfam #bruce loves his kids dearly #he would never give them up #he just has no idea how he ended up with all of them in the first place #mckinlily writes: batfam fic