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#stop the way they just grew up together alongside me
tonowarii · 1 year
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That One's Mine
Pairing: Ao'nung x Fem! Metkayina! Reader x Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan
Requested?: Yes
Summary: Growing up with Ao'nung, his parents and yours had eventually promised you to each other. Now training under Ronal to become tsahik, unexpected events occur when the family of Toruk Makto arrive.
Word count: 3.5k
Warning/s: slight atwow spoilers if you squint, jealous aonung, violence, fluff, this time neteyam being a skxawng (jk)
Note: Likes, reblogs, and feedbacks are most welcome and appreciated! Let me know your thoughts!
GIF is not mine, credits to the owner!
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“Catch me if you can!” A little Aonung laughs, followed by your cousin, Rotxo who adds “We can run faster than your little legs!”
“No, you can’t!” Little you said, catching speed towards them.
Your parents alongside Tonowari and Ronal watched. “Look at them.” Your mother cooed to Ronal, her best friend as you finally caught up to Aonung and Rotxo a little too harsh, sending the three of you stumbling onto the sand.
Both mothers laughed at their children. Your father and Tonowari looked at each other with a content look on their faces.
As the years progressed, all of you grew into fine hunters, particularly you and Aonung had gotten close.
Your parents could tell there was this unspoken bond between the two of you, not long after his parents began noticing it too. Not long enough, they therefore decided that the two of you were fated together.
That Ao’nung in the future would be the olo’ekytan, with you by his side as tsahik. A mated pair before Eywa and their people.
But that was still a long time coming, as the two had accomplished their rite of passage, the two has yet to decide when they would be mates.
It still baffled you that you and Aonung would become a mated pair in the future, and now Ronal had taken you under her wing to be a tsakarem just like Tsireya.
“Now this way.” Ronal was teaching the two of you. You and Tsireya looked at each other before following her.
You were glad that you and Tsireya were able to become close due to always spending the time together learning.
After finishing your lesson for the day, you and Tsireya bid goodbye to Ronal with a smile on your faces.
“We’re just going out, mother.” Tsireya laughs.
Ronal gives the two of you her rare smiles, she could very well remember your mother and her being like that in the past. “Go, keep safe.”
Leaving the Marui, you were greeted with the afternoon sky. You gave a stretch and a yawn. Tsireya breathes in the air. “I still can’t believe you’re going to be my sister-in-law soon!” She gushed, making you snap your mouth shut and blush.
“Tsireyaaaa…” You whine, you hated when she always teased you about her brother, not in a negative way, it was more like a stop-teasing-because-I-will-literally-combust-into-butterflies way.
“You better not be messing with her, sister.”
“And speaking of.” Tsireya said, looking up to meet his brother. “- And no, I am not! I’m just telling how happy we’ll be if—” You covered her mouth, not facing Aonung, who was standing behind you.
He raises an eyebrow at you and smirks. “Happy if?”
“Happy if- uh...” You thought. Tsireya then takes your hand off her mouth and spoke.
“Happy if you’d finally make her a part of the family!”
You scrunch your face, closing your eyes shut as heat seeped through your cheeks, turning a shade darker.
Instantly, you felt Aonung’s hand snake to your arm, going to your shoulder, gently turning you around to meet him.
You open your eyes and the first thing you see is that stupid smirk on his face that you fell in love with.
“Seems like they can’t wait, can they?” He teased.
“Tsireya I told y-“ You turned to face her, Aonung’s hand still on your shoulder but Tsireya was already skipping away from the two of you.
You sigh rather loudly, facing him.
“You not happy to see me anymore?” Ao’nung tilts his head, looking down at you. Your pout turns into a playful smile as you playfully shoved his chest.
Aonung laughs, pulling you close as he wraps an arm around your waist as the two of you started walking side by side.
“It feels like everyone’s expecting us to be mated already.” You started the conversation. Aonung turns his head to you, before he looks out the horizon.
“Mother has been asking about it too.” He replied. You turn to him, studying his features as he looked in front of him.
You blink.
“You should hear my mother instead, asking me if you had already asked me, considering the number of gifts you’ve given me.” You could feel Aonung chuckle as you leaned onto his side.
His arms gave a comforting squeeze. “You know I’ll always wait for you.” Aonung wasn’t one to push, he knew you’ll give him your answer when you were ready.
For now, the two of you were just enjoying being young, being together.
But you felt guilty, sure you had all the time in the world, but you could not keep him waiting even if he constantly reassures you. You were lucky to have someone as patient and loyal as him.
“Besides, it’s not like you could do anything about it, you’re stuck with me.” Aonung jokes with a smirk, his arm now going to wrap around your shoulder as he gives a subtle feather-light kiss on the side of your temple.
You blush with a laugh. “Being stuck with the olo’eyktan’s finest hunter… who would’ve thought?”
“Hmm, I guess little you did.” He responds. “But little me thinks he’s luckier having this beautiful girl beside him, the girl who captured his heart and trapped it with hers.”
“Oh, you can be quite the dramatic.” You say as the two of you walked along the shore.
“Not dramatic if it is true.”
There you go again, blushing for the nth time within minutes of being with him. It instantly made your day better.
But both of your fun had to end as eclipse set. Aonung was now walking you towards your marui.
Reaching the destination and entering, you were greeted by your mother and father. But your mother looked like she was happier to see Aonung.
“Aonung, my son! How are you?” Your mother greeted him and Aonung smiles.
“I am good ma, I just thought I’d walk (Y/N) back here, to make sure she gets home safe.”
Your mother instantly cooes, thanking him. Your father seemed to be also pleased by Aonung’s presence as he gives him a nod to which Aonung bowed to.
“Mom, Aonung has to go home now, look how dark it is outside.” You say, placing a hand on your mother as you looked out.
“Oh, imagine it, soon the two of you will be finally sharing your own marui, you’d no longer have to worry about each other going home separately.”
The thought sent you and Aonung looking at each other as Aonung sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.
“Mom!” You say.
Finally, your mother gives in an bids goodbye to Aonung as she returned to her spot.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked.
“Of course, goodnight.” You smiled.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ઇଓ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
The following weeks ran smoothly.
However, today was something you’d never expect to happen.
You were on your ilu, carrying your bag filled with freshly plucked shellfish on your way to the shore when screeching sounded.
You had commanded your ilu to stop when you looked up.
Knitting your brows, you find a couple of mountain banshees approaching. It had you thinking, there wasn’t any news from the Omatikaya clan that they would be coming today?
And weirdly enough, why would they need five of them if they were only to send a message?
You watched as they circled around, more people noticing as they yelped at them. Soon, everyone was gathering around the shore.
Instantly you saw Tsireya on her ilu as well. Deciding to approach her, she notices you and speaks. “What do you think they’re doing here?”
“I don’t know…” You respond.
Then they landed.
You and Tsireya looked at each other. “Come, let’s see!” Tsireya says curiously, already had her ilu moving. You followed.
As the crowd formed around them, you and Tsireya had reached the shore, dismounting and walking towards them curiously.
To your surprise, you already see Aonung and Rotxo, who was having too much fun in making fun of their tails.
You walked behind Tsireya as she slaps Rotxo on the arm, making you chuckle. “Do not. Rotxo, Aonung.”
Finally looking to see your visitors, it had taken you by surprise. They were blue, their arms where thin and long, and their tails was… small compared to yours. They had striking eyes that had a mix of yellow and green in them.
“Hey.” You hear one of them speak beside the other teenage boy, you could see him looking at Tsireya, making the two of you giggle.
Though you also feel the other boy’s eyes on you as you looked to confirm your suspicions. He was, indeed, looking at you.
He flashes you a friendly smile and you smiled back at him.
Little did you know Aonung watched the interaction, sending him glaring daggers at the back of the poor boy’s head as he tapped Rotxo on the side, muttering things under his breath.
As the olo’eyktan and tsahik arrived, Aonung and Tsireya walked to get beside their parents while you followed behind them with your cousin, Rotxo.
You watched the whole scene play out as Ronal circled them, pointing out their appearance, to when Tonowari granted them to stay.
“My son Aonung and our daughter Tsireya will show your children what to do.” Tonowari spoke.
Instantly, your eyes shift to Aonung who stepped forward to speak out to his father.
“Father, why—”
“It has been decided.”
Tsireya offers them a gentle smile, before looking back at you and pulling onto your hand to drag you with her.
Aonung notices this of course, and he has a sour look on his face as he watches the two of you.
“Come! We will show you our village.”
The crowd dispersed as Toruk Makto’s family had gathered their belongings. You were standing beside Tsireya. Honestly, curiosity was gnawing at you, and you were thankful Tsireya had dragged you with her.
You watched them as they carried their stuff, and you already feel the same pair of eyes looking at you as you talked with Tsireya. You gripped on your bag a little tightly as you looked at them.
“We’ll help you with that.” Tsireya says, grabbing a few bags off of Neytiri as she thanked her, while you had chosen to help the boy from earlier, seeing that he has a lot to hold on to.
“I can take it, here.” You approach him, grabbing a few bags and a roll of mat off him before he had a chance to refuse.
“Thank you.” Was the only thing he said to you.
Now making your way to their newly assigned marui, the boy had introduced himself to you.
“Hi, thank you again for carrying our stuff… you didn’t have to.” He says from behind you, you slow your footsteps to have him walk beside you. “It’s the least we could do, this is going to be your new home after all.”
He pauses, his mouth opening and closing as he walked with you. “I am Neteyam.”
Neteyam? Hmm.
“(Y/N). It is nice to meet you, Neteyam.” You reply.
“(Y/N)… nice.”
“Hm?” You look at him. “I mean it is nice to meet you.” He clears his words.
Aonung and Rotxo watched behind all of you, specifically, Aonung’s eyes were targeted on the boy beside you as he strikes up a conversation.
“Just up here.” Tsireya announces.
Reaching the newly made marui, you had left the boy to walk besides Tsireya, placing their bags down.
“This is for you, your new home.” She spoke.
“This is nice, right?” Jake Sully had said, in turn, you flinch as the noise of the mat being carried by Neytiri had dropped as everyone turned to look at her.
“We will leave you guys to get settled.” You say, placing your hands together with a small smile.
“We will teach you starting tomorrow, but for now I hope you all get some rest.” Tsireya announced.
Walking away, you smirked and nudged Tsireya on the side “That boy couldn’t take his eyes off you.” You teased her. Tsireya giggles, rolling her eyes. “You had that one boy staring at you too.”
Now it was your turn to roll your eyes, you and Tsireya walking side by side laughing to yourselves.
Rotxo and Aonung watched from the side as the two of you laughed and giggled like little kids. It struck his nerves, what were the two of you laughing about? He sighs, patting Rotxo on the side to go and do their own pending tasks.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ઇଓ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
The day started bright and early, it just had been about every other day before, but this time you had begun to teach Jake Sully’s kids.
Already diving in the water, you felt the cool water envelop you as you swam, your tail swishing to propel you further. You swam around coral reefs and among the fishes, Aonung following close by.
You stop and looked behind you to see the siblings on the surface. They glanced down and you could see Tsireya signing them to come swim with you.
Aonung stopped as well, looking at you to find you looking at them, while Rotxo, from beside him, looked at them too.
As they dove back down, you smile and continue swimming around. But they had to come up for air again as the four of you saw them reaching to the surface.
All of you looked at each other.
‘What’s wrong with them?’ Aonung signed.
‘They are bad divers’ Rotxo replied to him.
‘Stop that’ you signed back. ‘They’re learning’ Tsireya added.
Aonung rolled his eyes but watched as Rotxo and Tsireya swam up.
You swim towards him, tilting your head. ‘Give them a chance’ you signed. ‘Come on let’s go up’ You added.
Both of you swam to the surface beside one another.
You were about to talk when Aonung began “You are not good divers, maybe good at swimming through trees—”
Turning towards him, you give him a light smack on the shoulder, making his smirk drop as he looks at you with a ‘What was that for?’ look.
“Come on, bro.” The other sibling, who you learned was Lo’ak, said.
“We don’t speak this… finger talk you guys. We don’t know what you’re saying.” Neteyam said.
“We will teach you.” You say, Aonung looks at you before looking back at them.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ઇଓ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
After a few weeks, Aonung could notice the way Neteyam was always on you. And it was getting on his nerves. You, however, seemed clueless about it.
There were times when all of you were teaching them sign language, and when he failed to get it right, you’d assist him by having your hands on his. And with the way that the forest boy blushed had Aonung feeling annoyed.
He wanted to send a sign that you were already taken, that you were his. But at the same time, he didn’t want to cause trouble if it included you.
So, he settled on subtle ways.
He’d always make sure he was a little too close to you. He would then randomly talk to you, leaning his face closer to yours whenever they were around.
And he would be sure to often grab your arm or hand a few times to grab your attention from them.
But you weren’t noticing these things he was doing. It made you blush and smile, sure, but you didn’t know their true intentions. It made him look jealous, because he was. You were his, why can’t he see that?
Even though when you both had free time you were always being pulled away from him by the Sully’s, even Tsireya for Eywa’s sake! What has gotten into you two?
Even more, his actions didn’t even seem to stop Neteyam from staring at you and taking the chance to talk with you when he wasn’t around.
“These are ilu. If you want to live here, you have to ride.” Aonung says, introducing the ilu’s to the Sully kids.
You were there, standing, watching Aonung with love in your eyes, with the way he was acting the past few weeks had you feeling fuzzy.
Although you missed hanging out with him, considering you were always being pulled aside by Neteyam or even both you and Tsireya were being pulled aside by both Neteyam and Lo’ak.
At first it was asking for advice, then they started asking questions about yourselves and so on. You hadn’t really given it much thought until Tsireya bought it up one afternoon.
After finishing the lesson, you and Tsireya were walking back to the village. “(Y/N), have you noticed the way Neteyam has been giving you heart eyes this whole time?”
You stopped, looking at her. “Wait- What?”
“My Eywa, you haven’t noticed?” Tsireya gasps, looking at you. “No- what? I thought he was just wanting to make friends.”
“More than friends.” Tsireya corrected, laughing. You thought back, and it did seem so.
“And!” Tsireya says, grabbing onto your arm. “You should see the look on Aonung’s face everytime he comes across Neteyam… or Lo’ak too for that matter…” Tsireya concluded. “It looks like he really hates them.”
Then you connected the dots. Maybe that’s why Aonung was being clingy than before. He was jealous. He was almost subtly marking you as his, that you were taken.
Helping them get on their ilu’s you watched Lo’ak speed off with his ilu, before letting go, sending him tumbling onto the water.
Aonung laughed beside you as you chuckled yourself. You then watched Neteyam carefully guiding his ilu around, with a smile on his face.
You feel an arm snake around your waist, looking up, you still see Aonung teasing Lo’ak. You smile to yourself at Aonung’s actions.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ઇଓ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
Then Aonung had enough.
“Back off. Now.” Neteyam pointed at Aonung’s chest as Aonung had decided to pick on his sister, Kiri, for being a freak.
Aonung still hadn’t settled on accepting the Sully family as their own, he was being stubborn, and now this is where it got him.
Aonung only smirked at him, walking forward as Neteyam’s finger pressed even further on his chest.
“Then why won’t you back off my mate, huh?” He taunted. Although you weren’t mates yet, he just had to do something to make Neteyam stop his moves on you.
Neteyam looked confused as he dropped the accusatory finger from his chest. “What do you mean?”
“Skxawng, I’m talking about (Y/N). She doesn’t want anything to do with you.” He shoved his chest back, making Neteyam stumble as Lo’ak intervened.
“We didn’t know, bro—”
“Maybe this will let you know.” Aonung said, shoving Neteyam strongly this time. But Neteyam didn’t back down as a fight began to break out between Neteyam, Lo’ak, and Aonung’s gang.
Tsireya and you were just walking when you began to hear a commotion.
“The forest people and Aonung are fighting!” You heard one say.
Forest people… Aonung?
Quickly looking at each other, you and Tsireya broke off into a sprint to head towards them.
“Aonung!” You said as the scene of Neteyam, Lo’ak, and Aonung and his friends were fighting welcomed your eyes.
The other people pulled Neteyam and Lo’ak out while Rotxo held Aonung back.
“What’s happening?” Tsireya asked.
“Stay away.” Aonung said, pointing at Neteyam.
Your eyes widen, seeing a large bruise already forming on Aonung’s cheek as his bottom lip was busted open. You rushed towards him, cupping his cheek.
“Eywa give me strength…. What did you do?” You say frantically.
You looked towards Neteyam and Lo’ak, then back at Aonung.
Neteyam saw how your face formed in worry as you rushed to Aonung’s aid. What Aonung said was true. You were with him and he was too dumb to see that. It made his chest ache, but he knew he was in the wrong. You were only helping him out.
And that’s when the Sully brothers heard the voice of their father.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ઇଓ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
After that, the tension had died down. Neteyam and Aonung were able to set their differences, they became friends as well as with Lo’ak and their siblings.
Now you and Aonung were sat a rocky shore as you recalled what happened.
“So, you really said I was your mate already?” You laugh.
“I- kinda… yeah.” Aonung sighs in defeat, and in embarrassment. “I figured saying that might finally knock some sense into him.”
“Mhm even though we’re not mates.”
“I know, I’m sorry for—”
“But I guess we can change that, can we?” You smile up at him.
Aonung then snaps his gaze back to you, confusion etched all over him.
“What do you mean?”
Pulling him to peck his lips, you held his cheeks.
“Aonung, I am more than happy to become your mate.”
And the wide smile that crossed his lips was truly a sight to see.
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redheadspark · 2 months
Text
Trust
Summary - Azriel takes his son flying for the first time
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Warnings - Fluff with a hint of smut
Author's Note - I am thinking of turning this into a series with Azriel, the reader, and their son! Let me know if you want to see a series for it!
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“Today’s the day!  Are we ready?”
“You should be asking his mother that very question.”
You grinned as you turned around to see both Feyre and Rhysand standing together, hand in hand as they were watching for your reaction.  But their eyes were down to your hands that were clenched tight together, almost in a death grip.  It rang bells in Feyre’s head, she immediately walked over and took your hands together in her own to make you unclasp your fingers.
“You alright?” She asked, you nodding and taking in a long breath as she spoke once more, “It’s going to be fine, okay?”
“Nothing will happen, you have my word,” Rhysand vowed to you as he too walked over to place a reassuring hand on your arm to give you some sense of comfort, “I’ll be there for every moment of it, I promise.  And you know your husband wouldn’t let anything happen, not on his watch.”
“I know,” You said to him, reaching over to squeeze his hand, “I know it’s going to be fine and you both will be there.  It’s just….this is a lot.”
“It is,” Feyre hummed in agreement, her warm smile giving you a sense of comfort as she leaned against her mate and husband, “’ I was feeling the same thing you’re feeling with Nyx.  But I knew deep down he was easy, and so is your son,”
You were both excited and dreading this day for some time, excited since you knew it would be a life-changing day for not just your child but for your family, and dreading since it was a sure sign that he was growing up on you.  He was only 4 years old, yet you could remember the day he was born and how he came wailing into the world with a pair of lungs and a thirst to live.  Your pregnancy was not ideal, nor was it something you would ever regret.  Nor did his father, who was beyond excited to have his own little family to love on and to nurture.
His father and your mate, Azriel. 
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You two grew up together as Illryians, you were one of the very few female Illryians that was born into the Illyrian training camp.  Although your mother died in childbirth with you and your father abandoned you because of the loss of his mate, your cousin was Rhysand and his own mother took in. She was the mother you needed, both nurturing and stern with you when you needed it, but she also taught you all you needed to know in order to survive the Illyrian life.  As a seamstress, she also taught you the trade and you were making dresses alongside her as you got older.
She sheltered you and protected you, made you feel a motherly love in a cruel world.  It was then you met Cassian and Azriel, two Illyrian boys who became close to you and your cousin Rhysand.  They both were wild, filled with that boyish charm and thrill, and you grew to love them instantly.  Especially Azriel, who caught your heart from the moment you saw his hazel eyes that were etched in pain and torment from all he went through with his own childhood.  Yet he was kind, sheltered with his own feelings, and willing to bond with Cassian and Rhysand as If they were his own blood related brothers.
You both fell in love with each other over time, there was no way of stopping the sensation of being in love with him as you two grew up side by side.  He loved you with all of him, showing you the sides of him that would hide in the dark and would never be seen by others.  Although Azriel thought of you as the rays of the sun along his shadows and a lighthouse in the chaos of a storm, he was afraid that you would run from him and think of him as a monster.
He was far from wrong as you kissed him under the stars when you two were teenagers.  He knew then that his heart belonged to you and you alone. 
Years came and went, tears and torment threatened to take the two of you apart, but you two stayed together and never lost one another along the way.  When Rhysand was taken Under the Mountain, you were left in charge of Night Court because you were blood-related.  It was a heavy burden to carry on, but you weren’t alone.  You had Cassian, your other cousin from the Court of Nightmares named Mor, a wise yet intimidating being named Armen, and of course Azriel.  They all were behind you running Night Court and keeping it safe from the enemy’s hand.  Especially Azriel, who was your backbone and your words of wisdom when things were rough.  Most of all, he poured out his love for you when he knew you needed it, when you missed your cousin, when you felt unworthy yourself.  You did the same to him, constantly loving him and making him feel so important and adored as you knew he was.  
Your mating bond came easily one night when you two were deep in your lovemaking.  His hands along your body, his hips rolling deeply against yours to bring you that pleasure you have been craving and needed from no one but him, you both felt that snap when you were about to orgasm.  It was as if The Cauldron itself snapped inside of you and that bond was seeping along your veins.  Azriel felt it too, gasping for air as you both orgasmed at the same time and your bond was singing in happiness and joy.  As you two clung onto each other in happiness and in euphoria, you knew your life was forever changed because of him and no force would take the two of you away from each other. 
So many years came and went: Rhsyand coming back as the High Lord of Night Court and finding his mate in Feyre, fighting against the human king Hybern to keep your Court and the citizens safe, there was finally a moment of peace for you and Azriel.  You both were settling down in a small little house outside of the city.  Azriel wanted a peaceful life with you, he knew you both needed it after going through stress and agitation.  It was always the two of you for so long, which was what you both craved as the topic of growing your family came about.
Azriel knew you were hesitant since birthing Illyrian children was no easy task, let alone being pregnant with a Illyrian child.  It was brutal, over half of mothers never survive in childbirth.  Your mother was part of that statistic, and Azriel would never dare to loose you in such a way. You were mostly afraid of what could happen to you and the baby, talking to Azriel about it in hopes of wondering how he felt about bringing a child into the world. All you two knew was the way of children in the Illyrian world, a world that was cold and filled with avoidance and distance.
“If we are meant to be parents, then we’ll make it a happy home,” He reassured you as you both were sitting side by side on the front porch of your home, holding you in your arms as you were looking at your matching wedding rings, “Our home will be loving, something we both need from all we went through.  But let’s not dwell on children now, I wanna simply be here with you, okay?”
“Okay.” You replied, feeling him kiss you on the cheek as you both watched the moon hanging high above.  It always was on the back of your mind, but Azriel was right.  You two needed some year alone together to simply build back up what was almost lost thanks to the Battle and the harshness of your childhood. 
But come to find out, a few months later, you were with child.  And your son, Alec Rhysand, was born.
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As if on cue, you heard a cluster of feet coming from the hallway of the House of Wind, the three of you looking to see the cluster of beings coming down the hall.  You beamed from seeing them, massive smiles on their faces and excitement in their laughter and giggles.  Nyx was leading the group, dressed in his small leathers that were a gift to him on his birthday by his father a year ago with his raven hair swept over his bright eyes. After him was Cassian in his leathers and his mate Nesta, their toddler daughter named Rose on Nesta’s hip who was babbling away with her bright wavy hair. She was an exact carbon copy of her mother, down to the nose and the grin that seemed both infectious and genuine.  
“Big day today!” Cassian said with a pep in his step as Rose saw you, screeching for you as she grabbed at you with her little fingers.  You giggled, taking the little one in your arms and snuggling her as Cassian gave him a big hug, “It’s a great day to learn how to fly!”
“Perfect weather conditions,” Rhsyand hummed in agreement, “And I think the balcony is the best place for Alec to start,”
“Can’t I fly with him, Dad?  Please?” Nyx asked in earnest as he ran over to Rhsyand, hugging his father around the legs with his violet eyes pleading with him.
“Remember our deal?  Let him fly with his dad first and then we can join them, okay?” Rhysand reminded his song, who grumbled and nodded his head.  Rhysand chuckled and ruffled his hair with his fingers, “You watch, before you know it he’ll join us for our nightly flights,”
“Hey!” You said to him as Feyre slapped his shoulder.
“When he’s bigger!  That’s what I meant!” Rhysand said in defense.
“I’m surprised Azriel is letting him fly,” Nesta commented to you as she took her daughter back in her arms, “But, I think it’s great.  I bet he’s been looking forward to taking Alec flying hasn’t he?”
“He has,” You said lightly, “He hasn’t stopped talking about it for weeks.”
If you were hesitant about letting your son fly, Azriel was the opposite.  In fact, he was looking forward to having his son in with the sky, sole because he knew nothing would happen to his child when he was there with them.  Azriel was an amazing father to Alec, loving him from the moment Madja helped bring him into the world and placed him in Azriel’s arms.  You saw the shift in your husband's eyes as your baby was whining and wiggling in his hold, his tiny wings and dark hair made him look just like his father and it made you cry in happiness.  
He made every milestone with Alec memorable, from his first steps to his first words. Azriel never wanted to miss a moment, wanting to give his son the childhood he wish he had himself.  It was making up for the lost memories he never had, the lost moments he wanted with his own mother but was taken abruptly to be replaced with pain and torment.  Not with Alec, he would make it filled with love and kindness along with joy and warmth.  All you could do was simply stand back and see Azriel's love on his son, holding him close if he would cry, tucking him into bed with a kiss on the head, even laughing together after wrestling in the grass.
It was the childhood Azriel wanted for himself, but now he was giving it to his own boy.
“There he is, the boy of the hour!”  
You all turned to see Azriel walking down the hall in his Spymaster leathers and a big grin on his face.  But by his side, holding his fingers in his hand, was your four-year-old Alec.  
Alec had his father’s dark locks and tan skin, but your bright blue eyes that Azriel knew were pure gifts from The Cauldron.  He was simply perfect and had a nervous smile on his face as he saw you.  His face brightened as he waved at you shyly.
As Azriel and Alec made it to you, you knelt down to open your arms to your son as he huddled in close to your embrace.  His wings, which have grown in the past year and have been deemed strong enough for flight, were tucked tight against his backside as you kissed your son on the head and felt him giggle. 
“How are we feeling about flying today?”  You asked him as you pulled away and looked at his eyes.  He bit his lower lip, looking down at his feet for a brief moment before he showed you his bright blue eyes that were mirroring some hesitance and worry.  
“I’m nervous, momma,” He said to you, to which you hummed and framed his face gently with your fingers.
“And remember that it’s okay to be nervous?” You reminded him, seeing him nod his head.  You kissed the tip of his nose, “You are ready, Alec.  And I know you are going to be amazing at flying, you need to trust your wings.  They will not steer you wrong, okay?”
Azriel knelt down next to you, peering at his son with his soft smile that he would always use on his son.  Alec would hang on his father’s every word if he could, thinking of Azriel as the center of his world and beyond.  There was no doubt they both had a bond together since Alec was a baby, Alec fixing comfort with his father most of the time and Azriel never hesitating in helping his son through anything.  
“You are strong, Alec.  I’m going to be up there with you and not leave your side, just like we practiced at home.” He said to Alec, who nodded his head.  You knew they were practicing constantly at your little home, Azriel showing Alec how to stretch and strengthen his wings to get him ready to hove off the ground.  You showed your son with your own wings, Alec watching in amazement as his mother hovered off the ground and landed gracefully on the grass with ease. Even before that, when he was still a toddler, you would take Alec in your arms and fly around your home to both show him how flying felt and to bring in ease.  
It was a core memory, Alec as a small toddler snuggled against you as you would soar in the sky and see him watch with his big blue eyes.  Azriel would fly next to you, being ever protective of his wife and son as you hear Alec giggle in excitement and coo in joy.  To watch his son bathed in the night sky and amongst the stars, held by his beloved wife and mate of centuries, it brought more love to Azriel than he ever felt before.  
After Madja checked his wings and gave you both the green light to let him fly, Rhysand wanted it to be a monumental day since it involved his nephew.  He wanted it to be on a warm Spring day, making sure the weather would be perfect.  You and Azriel were grateful for him, and you most of all since he was your Cousin and yet considered you a sister of his since you were children yourselves.  He protected you throughout your teenage years, praised you for keeping Night Court safe in his absence, and adored you when you and Azriel became mates and were married.  
Rhsyand walked over to open the balcony door, the warm spring air coming into the room as you were all filtering out onto the grassy terrace.  The massive view of Velaris below you was enchanting in the bright sunlight, with the glistening ocean not too far away bringing in the sea air with ease while Azriel walked with Alec in his hand to the middle of the grass.  You stood at the side, biting your lower lip as Rhysand squeezed your shoulder with ease.  As much as you wanted to be there to help him fly as well, you knew this was a moment with only Alec and his father.  You never minded it, knowing your mate would do this perfectly with your son.  
Azriel knelt in front of Alec, his shadow licking around his arms and wings to be ready for protection as his massive wings were sprawled out and ready.  Alec watched, his father’s wings were bringing a shadow in front of his tiny face as Azriel nodded at his son.
“Get your wings ready,” Azriel instructed him, Alec nodding and rolling his shoulders.  His own wings with some muscles seen started to stretch out, mirroring his father’s wings and he kept holding his father’s hands tightly in his own as Azriel grinned.
“Good, you’re doing good,” Azriel said to him in a soothing tone, “Now, concentrate on your wings and let them move.  You can do it, buddy.  Just take in a deep breath and take your time,” 
Your heart warmed instantly from hearing how Azriel was talking to him, seeing his hazel eyes look at his son with love and patience as Alec slammed his eyes shut and tried his best to make his wings work.  Everyone else was waiting on bated breath, not wishing to move and break the moment that was in the air.  This was a sacred moment, a right of passage that was going to be remembered for the rest of one’s life.  You and Azriel talked about it over and over, wanting it to both be perfect and filled with positivity for your son.  
A redo to what you both endured as children.  
Cassian was the first one to react, then his mate, and after Feyre and Rhysand.  Gasps were heard, along with sharp intakes of breaths and murmurs.  You were the last, fat tears were streaming down your face at the sight of your son how hovering over the grass with his toes barely touching the ground.  His wings moved easily, naturally even, while his father was watching with the biggest smile on his face.  
“Alec, open your eyes, baby.  Look,” Azriel said to him as he held his son’s hands.  Alec, with some reluctance, opened his blue eyes.  His eyes went huge, looking down to see himself hovering and he giggled.
“I did it!  I did it, Daddy!” He said in glee as he looked at Azriel.  Azriel smiled widely, pride was all over his face as Alec looked over at you still he was still hovering off the ground with his feet kicking in giddiness, “Look, momma!  I’m doing it!”
You were freely crying at this point, covering your mouth with your hands and smiling in pure ecstasy.  It made your heart swell to see such a moment with not just your immediately family, but your Found family too.  It was healing all the pain you had in your heart and in your past that seemed to go away, that healing was coming in small waves and not slowing down.  Rhysand helped you heal, and Azriel helped you heal. 
And now, your son was helping you heal.
“You ready?” Azriel asked Alec, getting his attention again as Alec nodded in excitement.  Azriel’s wings were now active, making Azriel hover up a bit and bring Alec along with him with his little wings trying to keep up.  They were now a few feet up from the ground, still holding each other’s hands as Azriel guided Alec to be nose-to-nose with him.  You were more in love with him all the more, watching him guide your own in the best way he could.  
Azriel’s shadows were now hovering around the pair of them in a protective bubble, they were still visible amongst the shadows with ease as your husband and son were still watching each other. You felt through your mating bond that Azriel was proud of his son, how happy he was to see his child go through a great milestone, and how much love he had in his moment.  You were mirroring it yourself, knowing Azriel would feel it through the bond himself.  
“You are strong, Alec Rhysand.  Let your wings show you how strong you are,” he reminded him calmly.  Within a few moments, Azriel was releasing his hold on Alec’s hands, letting Alec fly with no help and nothing else aiding him.  Azriel was hovering right in front of him, his own hands were shaking from the sight but he was nonetheless grinning from ear to ear with pride etched all over his face.  
“Atta boy, Alec!” Cassian cheered as the others were grinning and clapping, “You’re doing great, kid!”
“Well done!” Feyre said in a clasp of her hands as Nyx was bouncing on his feet in excitement.
“You did it, Alec!  You’re flying!” Nyx shouted with a cup of his hands around his mouth.  Alec was giggling in pure joy, no longer shy or afraid as he was looking around at himself and noticing his wings were already flapping in ease.  But of course, his eyes were looking over to you as he gestured wildly to you.
“I’m doing it momma!  Look, I’m flying, momma!” He said with a massive smile.  Rhysand kissed the side of your head as Azriel look at you two.  You both were sharing a mutual feeling of pride and love for your son as the others were cheering him on and encouraging him to keep going.  You were dreaming of this day for years, dreaming of your future child being free in their own wings and loving the thrill of flying.  Not the fear of it, not the fear needing to be sheltered away from whom they were.  It was a new time for you all, and this was a sure sign of a bright future.  
Come on, babe.  Come fly with us.  You heard Azriel say in the bond as Alec was now reaching out to you with his fingers, still hovering in front of his father but his eyes were pinned on you.
“Come on, momma!  Fly with me!” He pleaded.  It was like a siren call that you could never stray from, that you could never ever turn your back on no matter how hard you tried.  Seeing the two loves of your life wishing for you to join them was all you could ever need in this life that was now filled with brightness.  You moved away from your family, stretching your wings as you took flight with ease.  Your wings were sighing relief in being in the air, you grinning as you met your son and husband in the air.  Instantly, Azriel’s shadows stretched to be around you now as the three of you were in your own world together.
“You’re doing so well, my darling boy,” You cooed as Alec, whose wings were flapping faster now, “I’m so proud of you!”
“Me too, Alec,” Azriel added as Alec was watching him, “Now, follow me.  Nice and easy now, okay?” 
You were behind Alec as he was following his father at a snail’s pace, but was not showing any signs of slowing down or getting tired.  Neither of you noticed Rhsyand, Nyx, and Cassian taking to the sky as well and making high circles above the three of you.  But you were simply focusing on your son, who was having the time of his life in this milestone. Every struggle that you had, every nightmare you experienced thinking that you would never see the light at the end of the tunnel, none of that was there anymore.  
You saw positivity, positivity and hope.
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“He’s fast asleep, the poor thing is tuckered out,” You heard Azriel inform you as you were perched on the terrace of the House of Wind, grinning from ear to ear as the warm spring night was all around you in Velaris.  The glittering city below you was still alive and filled with energy as your husband joined you.  The rest of the home was quiet, Rhysand and Feyre winnowed back to the River House leaving Nyx to sleep with Alec in one of the guest rooms.  Cassian and Nesta were in their own room for the night with Rose, leaving you and Azriel alone together and enjoying the view in peace.
You were standing against the railing, wrapped in a night robe as you felt his shadows lick against your neck and arms as a way to show his presence.  
“He had a big day today, along with you,” you said as Azriel pulled you in his arms and pressed his head into yours lovingly.  Breathing him in always brought you back to your center, feeling his toned muscles along your fingers made you feel safe and secure once again.  Even after all of these years of being married and mates, he always knew the best way to hug you to make you feel loved. 
“We both did,” He reminded you gently, you grinning as he searched your eyes, “And I know how far we both have come to be here, so I wanted to tell you how proud of you I am,”
“Az,” You said his name in a weka tone, though he hummed and shook his head.
“You have been so strong for so many years, saving this Court from downfall, saving me from being lost.  I know I’m not the same person I was when I was young when we met, and I owe my life to you,” He proclaimed, you feeling fresh tears in your eyes while he wiped your tears gently with his soothing fingers “Our son is a reflection of you, my love.  And I know I’m not one for saying how much I love you—“
“Hush,” You soothed him, hearing go silent instantly as you pressed a soothing kiss to his lips.  He leaned into you, kissing you back just as gently as you two were drinking in the quiet moment together. 
Once you pulled away from his lips, you nuzzled his nose against yours as you spoke once more, “You have loved me with no restraint and nothing holding you back.  I don’t ever wish to have anything else replace your love for me, Az. Not in this life or the next, you have been and will always be everything to me and our son.  I’m so proud of you too,”
Azriel smiled, the moon reflecting off his beautiful eyes as you two were still wrapped in each other’s arms from simple yet powerful words of affirmation.  It was always like this with the pair of you, building each other up from the depths of pain and lack of self-worth.  You saw the light in each other, the hope that was nestled deep inside and neither of you gave up on the other.  It took a hard road, and plenty of arguments and fights, just to stay strong for one another.  
Because of that, you have this new life, a beautiful and perfect son, and it felt as if nothing else could damage that.  
You reached down to lace your fingers one another, clutching his palm to yours tightly as you grinned widely at him.  Leaning in to barely touch your lips to his, you whispered, “Come fly with me,”
And he did, the pair of you taking to the sky and soaring amongst the stars with the city below, your love showing no abandon or no diminish. 
The End.
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Tagged - @valeridarkness
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ghost-with-a-teacup · 9 months
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Okay okay, hear me out.
A bantery sort of annoying best friend trope with Miguel O'Hara. Like, hes stubborn, but reader is just as stubborn and hard headed. So like, on a mission Miguel is like "Why werent you paying attention?" and SpiderPerson!Reader is like "You're a very distracting man." And then like, the classic upside down Spiderman kiss. Apologies if this is a mess, the brainrot is real.
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𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Reader
Warnings: None, just some good ol' fluff paired alongside some classic best friends to lovers. You know the dealio :3
It wasn’t easy being best friends with Miguel O’Hara.
He was stubborn, stoic, annoying, always thought he was right, and incredibly grumpy (almost all the time! It must be exhausting) amongst many other things. But all those things made him who he was, alongside the kindness and care he has for everyone, hidden behind that Spider-Society leader guise.
It wasn’t easy, but he was your best friend just as you were his. Your favourite person amongst the millions of people on this planet, and the billions upon trillions of people in the multiverse.
But it was even more difficult when you had the biggest raging crush on him. You felt like a little teenager, lost in the vastness of your own heart that quickly grew more and more fond of the person you loved with each day that passed.
Your feelings made you act silly and lovesick (and you knew damn well he noticed, he just never said anything about it), but they weren’t going anywhere for the time being so here they stayed.
They weren’t too great during missions though.
~
“Hey, Miguel~,” you say, sidling up to him with a stupid grin on your face. He stops you with a palm on your face, not allowing you to get too close.
“Ugh, what-?” he says, pulling his hand back in disgust. “Did you just lick me?!”
“Don’t put your hand in front of my face then, you should know by now the consequences of that,” you say with a tsk, before bursting into laughter at his expression.
“Unfortunately,” he sighs, rubbing it onto your suit. “Are you ready?”
“Ready for what?” you say, pretending to be confused.
“What do you mean what- The mission? Are you ready for the mission we’re supposed to be going on in the next minute,” he huffs incredulously.
“Obviously, Miguel,” you snort. “How long have we been doing this job? Have you so little faith in me?” you ask.
“Yes,” he deadpans, and you gasp.
“How dare you?” you say, pressing a hand to your chest in offence.
“You are the most dramatic person I know,” he says, glancing over toward you as he programs the watch to the universe you were both headed to.
“You love me,” you say in turn.
“Unfortunately,” he says, and you grin widely.
“Awwww, Miguel~,” you say, pulling him into a hug that he hesitantly returns (though you knew he loved hugs, he would just rather die than admit it).
“Alright, alright,” he says pulling away. “Focus up, we need to be on our A-game for this guy.”
“Aye, aye, captain! Lead the way,” you say, and he rolls his eyes but can’t quite conceal the smile on his face at your antics before his mask reforms on his face.
Together you both make your way through the portal, getting transported past thousands of worlds in mere seconds before arriving at the one with the anomaly.
“Oh, cool~,” you say with a childlike wonder. Around you is a world that looked like it came straight out of a painting, everything looking almost acrylic in nature and beauty.
“You saw this in the briefing,” he says to you but looks around himself with a sort of wonder.
“A picture on a screen is entirely different from seeing something like this in real life, Miguel,” you retort, still looking around in awe. Looking down at your own form, your costume was blended in splotches of your iconic colours, like you had walked right out of a portrait.
He doesn’t say anything to that, instead patting your head once before walking away toward the mission site.
“C’mon. The faster we finish up, the sooner we can head back. We can have a movie night back at my place, yeah?” he says, and you perk up immediately before running after him.
“That sounds perfect, ‘cause I baked too many cookies that I don’t know what to do with,” you say embarrassed, knowing full well that you had baked them for him. He always did love your baking.
You notice the side of his mask shifts upward slightly, a telltale sign that he was happy even with the mask concealing most of his expressions but you don’t say anything, only smiling softly to yourself.
“Lyla, do a full sweep of the building before we head in. I don’t want any surprises,” he calls out, and the AI pops up immediately.
“Ugh, so bossy,” she says, and you snort.
“You could say that again,” you say in turn, while Miguel only sighs.
“Are you two done insulting me yet?” he says, and you turn to face him, walking backwards as you do.
“Never!” you say, before you’re snatched off of the ground with a yelp. He calls out your name, immediately swinging in after you.
“NOT COOL DUDE,” you shout to the villain who had his tentacles wrapped around your waist, dangling you upside down as she stuck to the ceiling. “Shouldn’t you be in the sea, doing…whatever octopuses do?”
“This seems a lot more fun,” the villain says, her voice a gurgling sort of low tone that sounds much more ominous than it should.
You shoot your webs out onto the ceiling, trying to pull yourself up and out of her grasp to no avail, her hold too strong.
Bit by bit her hold continued to tighten, inhibiting your ability to breathe.
“H-hey, we can talk about this right?” you gasp out, but before you know it Miguel was flying up toward you.
He looked so serious and intent on getting you out, his muscles flexing as he held on to his webbing.
Quite frankly, it was hot.
So hot that you failed to notice that Miguel had smacked you out of the villain’s grasp, expecting you to swing yourself out. Instead, you fall to the floor with a thud and a loud groan. It wasn’t a far fall, and all your limbs were still intact but the wind that was already limited in your lungs was smacked out of you, and the ground was definitely going to leave a bruise.
“FOCUS!” he shouts to you, sending another punch to the villain’s face to knock her off balance. That luckily snaps you out of your reverie as you stand back onto your feet, swinging up to help him out.
You use your webbing to pull the tentacles off of the wall, meanwhile, Miguel acts as a distraction so she can’t focus on the fact that she’s being brought down to the ground where a trap lay for her to land in.
Bit by bit more tentacles become loose, and with one last hit from Miguel she falls to the floor with a scream, the force field raising around her immediately.
“You won’t get away with this!” she says angrily, but you only smirk, swinging down to her level.
“Doesn’t seem like there’s much you can do in this position, can you? Don’t worry, we won’t keep you for long. You’ll be back in your universe in no time~” you say, opening up a portal straight into the holding room for the other anomalies and pushing her in.
“Bye!” you say simply before the portal closes, taking her with it.
Then, the building is quiet, and you wince as you feel Miguel’s imposing aura behind you. Grasping your shoulder, he whirls you around as he looks at you exasperatedly.
"Why the hell weren’t you paying attention?" he asks you, arms moving animatedly as they usually do.
“In my defence…you didn’t notice her coming either,” you say.
“That’s not an excuse! You have your Spidey-sense, you have an instinct that tells you when you’re in danger,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And that fall, what was that? You saw me coming, why are you so distracted today?” he says with a sigh.
“Well, you’re a very distracting man,” you mumble, and his eyes widen slightly under his mask before it dissipates, leaving only his handsome face behind. You pull off your mask in turn, only staring into his eyes.
He stares back before sighing.
“Are you hurt?” he says, his eyes running over your body scanning for any injuries.
“I’ve taken worse hits than that, you know,” you say in turn, your face heating up slightly.
“An injury is an injury regardless of how bad it is,” he says, walking around you to make sure nothing is out of place.
“Jeez, you should take your own advice Mr. ‘I don’t need to go to the infirmary ever’” you huff.
“That’s different,” he retorts.
“It’s really not.”
“It is.”
“It’s not.”
“I’m not gonna argue with you right now,” he rolls his eyes.
“Oh c’mon, you know that’s your favourite pastime,” you smirk.
“It’s not.”
“Don’t lie to yourself, it is.”
“I only tell the truth, it’s not.”
“You say that, but here you are arguing with me again,” you grin, and he groans.
“Regardless, you did good today,” he says after a moment.
“I always do good, what do you mean,” and he looks at you incredulously.
“Can you just allow me to compliment you?”
You just shrug.
“Ehhhh, I struggle to accept compliments because deep down I’m incredibly insecure and can’t make myself believe that I can do well, let alone have other people think that so…yeah!”
“…we’ll talk about this later,” he says, patting your shoulder (the tiniest bit awkwardly, which made you almost laugh considering how long you two have known each other).
“So, since you think I ‘did good’ today, what’s my reward?” you ask expectantly, the corner of your mouth quirked up. He hums for a moment before slinging his webs onto the ceiling, swinging himself up so that he hung upside-down.
“C’mere,” he says, and you look at him confused.
“What on Earth are you doing?” you say.
“Can you just listen to me for once and come here?” he says exasperatedly, so you relent and walk so you’re about a foot away from him.
“Closer,” he says, and you step closer hesitantly, the proximity making you nervous. He only huffs, reaching out to grasp onto your arm so you’re standing face to face.
The hand on your arm reaches up, softly placing itself on your cheek as you let out a little gasp. His eyes bore into yours, and you get lost in the swirling crimson and gold.
“Is this alright?” he says softly, his breath fanning across your face. You felt your heartbeat pick up as the warmth of his hand pressed into your cheek gently. You can’t do anything but nod.
His lips press into yours, slightly chapped but soft as he kissed you softly.
You had never felt anything so right.
“What was that for?” you whisper as he pulls away after a few seconds that felt like an eternity condensed into a single moment.
He snorts softly before swinging back onto his feet, pulling you into his chest with a hug.
“I know you have feelings for me,” he says, and your body tenses for a moment at the blatant comment.
“I-” you start, but he interjects calmly.
“Hasn’t it been obvious that I have feelings for you too?” he asks as he pulls away, cupping your cheeks in both his hands.
“I, I thought it was just because I was your best friend,” you say as all those little moments you’ve had over the years play through your head. It makes him laugh softly, oh how you loved that laugh.
“You’re painfully oblivious sometimes, you know,” he says, but the fondness is evident in his voice.
“Can you kiss me again?” you ask, a tad bit flustered but you already missed the feeling of his lips on yours.
He smiles down at you before kissing you tenderly, fingers tangling through your hair as your hand rests on his chest, feeling his racing heart.
Finally, you felt complete.
~
~
“I didn’t know you were so soft,” you giggle as you return back to HQ.
“I am not soft,” he says almost offendedly, but the corner of his lip is quirked up the tiniest bit. “Though if I was, it would only be for you.”
Taglist: @beiroviski, @scaraza, @blueoorchid, @remuslupinwifee, @local-mr-frog, @johfaam0, @rawegggohan, @honeycriess, @alexenoirex, @chimpkinnuggies, @rqdior, @banana—belle, @notasadgirlipromise, @6billionyearsold, @gods-perfectidiot, @ieatmunson, @honeii-puff, @wh0re4zaynmalik, @toplinehyunjin, @ohworm-writes
A/N: Two updates in one day? That's wild, haha. Am I writing this because I saw this prompt and I myself am in love with my best friend? Absolutely, but hey! Coping mechanisms, am I right :)
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sorrowfulrosebud · 5 months
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𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: angst
𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙: in which Katsuki sees you get rid of a scrap book you planned to give him after he broke up with you
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The breakup was… rough to say the least. You supposed it could have been described as a perfect mirror image to your relationship to begin with; the crushing pain of Katsuki being Katsuki.
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Katsuki cracked his knuckles loudly from outside of the Heights Alliance building as he waited in the cold for you. Everyone was out doing something with the group, and Katsuki could not have been more quietly grateful. Even though he was going to rip your beating heart straight out of your body, he wanted you to maintain the dignity and pride that he had originally fallen in love with.
It wasn’t like Katsuki had woke up that morning and decided that he was going to break up with you; months of inner self-depreciation crept into his thoughts day by day, alongside the crippling realisation of his ex-victim’s strength and progress. The weight of his existence was slowly crashing around him, and he needed all of his attention for his strength.
Unfortunately, that meant cutting away dead weight.
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Your happy humming could be heard as you wandered your way to your boyfriend. Your face lightened at the sight of him, before your smile drops at his scowl.
“Hi, Suki! Is everything alright?” You asked him worriedly, head tilted to the side. Katsuki’s scowl deepened, causing you to reach out to him.
“Suki please, you’re starting to worry me,” your voice rang through his ears as his hand locked around your wrist before it could reach his fluffy locks. There was a long pause as you retracted your hand, staring wildly at your boyfriend’s face.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” he sneered. If he was going to break your heart, he had to rip it out and shove it in the blender. Your eyebrows furrowed as you took your hand back.
“Katsuki, I-,” you were interrupted by Katsuki.
“Don’t fucking call me that either,” he grunted, shoving his hand in his pocket. Tears threatened to prick at your eyes.
“I’m breaking this thing up. It’s not worth my time at all. I’m training to be the number one hero, so I have no time to waste on other useless shit,” his gaze steeled, no ounce of insincerity to be detected. His words cut deep like a sword, your knees feeling weak as tears cling to your lashes.
“Y-you don’t mean that,” you sniffed. Katsuki let out a gruff laugh.
“Don’t I? Look, I guess it was fun when it started, but my priorities haven’t changed. You were just a distraction, something I could put my mind to. I’m not wasting any more time on you, so just leave me alone. I don’t care what you do, or who you get with. Just don’t fucking talk to me anymore, got it?”
His strength was impressive, you thought. How he could say such horrible things to you without buckling or feeling barbed wire dig into his throat. You could only stare at him with tears in your eyes, before shakily nodding. You turned at your heels and unsteadily walked off, before delving into a run back to the dorms.
Katsuki waited until you left. And he waited. And he waited. Until your sobs could no longer be heard. His body shook, before hushed hiccups and cries left his lips. His exhausted body slumped against the wall, shaky hands knuckling at his wet eyes. Well, his dirty deed was done.
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Life afterwards was rough for you. After being together for 10 months, your daily routine stung in ways you didn’t know was possible. You found yourself stopping during tasks you had grown unconscious to; you had to stop texting him during the day. Even just the silly thoughts in your head couldn’t be translated in a text to him.
You could only make protein shakes for one now. Laundry loads grew lighter, snack trips became quicker and physical touch with others withdrew exponentially. For the next month, you rotted in your dorm. You ate when Mina would bring you food, her hugging you tightly and angrily grumbling about how much of a dick her friend was.
You managed to stumble to class when you didn’t oversleep the day away. Insomnia plagued you like the Black Death, tossing and turning as you tearfully mourned the relationship you lost. You arrived to class way later than your ex would, avoiding all eye contact even though you were deskmates. (You soon requested a seat change).
Aizawa had had enough when you stumbled late to his lesson for the 5th time, demanding you stay back after class. You gulped and felt your cheeks heat up, embarrassed that your teacher called you out.
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The bell for the end of class sounded, bringing you out of your daze.
“(L/N), stay behind please,” came the tired drone of Mr Aizawa. Mina offered you a smile and a rub on the back as she walked off with Kirishima, throwing you a sympathetic look when she left.
Mr Aizawa cleared his throat as he signalled for you to take a seat in front of his desk. He continued marking some papers as his onyx eyes slightly looked at you.
“Your grades are slipping. You’re arriving late to class. You’re avoiding… certain classmates. If you’re struggling, I’d recommend telling me now and continuing the course. If not, pack your bags and take your grievances elsewhere. We’re training heroes, so you need to be exemplary,” he said bluntly, eyes flickering back to his paper.
You sniffled a little, rubbing your eyes.
“I’m sorry, Mr Aizawa. I’ll be better,” you promised dully, wiping your eyes on a tissue. His eyes looked back at you.
“I’m not an idiot. I can tell that you and Bakugou have come to some sort of disagreement. If it can get sorted, I would recommend making up as soon as possible-,” he starts.
“We broke up. He… he dumped me. He said such… horrible things to me. About me,” you whimpered, face screwed up as you clutched your uniform. Aizawa stopped writing before putting down his pen.
“I-I know I’m not exactly as composed as Todoroki, or as fast as Iida or as smart as Yaomomo, but I thought there was something about me that he liked. It just hurts how quickly he discarded me. I’m sorry for disturbing your lessons Mr Aizawa, it won’t happen again,” you quietly cried as you sunk your head in shame.
Only to lift your teary head as Mr Aizawa’s large hand encompassed your scalp. He looked at you with slight concern as you wiped your eyes.
“While it’s true that some of your classmates have advantages that you do not, a real hero doesn’t sell themselves short. Where Todoroki is composed, you’re bubbly and outgoing. Although Iida is fast, he often lacks the ability to let loose and enjoy the small things. And yes, Yaoyorozu is a prodigy student due to private schooling, but you put in the hard work and reap the rewards” his words soothed you as he softly rubbed your head.
“A real hero wouldn’t let someone who had to be chained up at the sports festival make them cry. So don’t sell yourself short. That boy has been in far too many detentions to have the nerve to point out your shortcomings,” he finished, removing his hand and gently pressing his fist into your shoulder.
“Understand me? I’ll let this incident pass if you can prove to me that you can put in the rest of the work and be a hero that everyone can put their faith in.”
The tears returned, but for a completely different reason. You quickly hugged Aizawa, his face immediately shifting into one of discomfort before gingerly patting your back. He let out his signature sly grin.
“Besides, if he tries anything, I can always say to Gang Orca that he needs more classes at the provisional licensing centre.”
You smiled at your home room teacher.
“Thank you Mr Aizawa,” you said, releasing him. He let out a small cough.
“Thank me with your actions. Tell anyone I let you hug me and it’s detention for the next month, understand?” He grilled you.
“I understand sir,” you giggled.
“Now go find Ashido, I can smell her anticipation from here,” he instructed.
“Yes sir.”
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After Mr Aizawa’s curt but helpful words, you aimed on self improvement. You focused on bettering a routine, sleeping more and eating healthier. Days you would have spent rotting in bed were forced into activities with your classmates.
The breakup still stung like a knife, but it was easier to manage and slowly dwindled down to a papercut. You hadn’t talked to your ex in 2 months, only sly glances when he wasn’t looking.
Unbeknownst to you, Katsuki was absolutely miserable. Seeing you rot and struggle to cope absolutely murdered him inside knowing that he was the person who ripped your heart out, and that he couldn’t stitch it back together. He managed to keep his own composure, training even harder to avoid seeing you or bumping into you.
He nearly passed out from training, he was overworking so hard. It was his own fault, he knew that. He just couldn’t work past his issues with you there; you didn’t deserve to be at the end of his shitty stick.
The pride he felt when you started cleaning yourself up and interacting more with your classmates made his chest swell. You looked so much more beautiful and radiant; the person he fell in love with.
And dumped.
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“Stupid fucking Sparky, gettin’ sick and makin’ me do his chores,” Katsuki grumbled, arms overflowing with bin bags as he stumbled to the large bins. It had been 2 months since your breakup. Or, even worse; your 1 year anniversary.
His heart was absolutely wrecked, but he could now slide quick glances to you without fear of you looking at him. He was so proud that you were able to overcome his asshole behaviour, and hopefully swallow any more feelings that you had about him. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of sniffling.
He peeked his head around the corner, dropping the bin bags as quietly as he could. His eyes widened. You were stood near the incinerator, a thick book wedged in your hands.
Tears slowly trickled down your face as you looked at the book. A small smile appeared as you thumbed the cover.
“I… I thought we would have made it. I don’t know, I thought it was all going so well. I know I’ll never probably understand what was going through your head that day, but… it’s time to let go of the past,” you say quietly, rubbing your teary eyes as you open the incinerator door.
“I loved you, god fucking damnit! More than I think I could have ever loved anyone! I suppose a small part of me always will now, though. I just thought we had a better chance. Happy one year anniversary, Katsuki,” you finish as you let out a sob, throwing the book into the furnace. You ran off before checking that the book was fully inside the furnace, slamming the door and running back inside.
Katsuki waited until your steps made no noise, before running forward and pulling the book from the furnace. It was a scrapbook; the book was ridiculously chunky, with glitter glue and doodles smothering the outside, as well as stickers from your combined favourite TV shows. The furnace had charred a large chunk of the book, the smell permeating his nose.
Then he saw your names scrawled neatly in cursive. His heart started to thud as he thumbed the pages.
Polaroid photos of you on dates were plastered neatly on the pages; some photos he remembered, others he had no recollection of. Movie ticket stubs, post it notes with cute messages detailing your affections, stickers you gifted each other, silly photos from photo booths that you dragged him into.
Each page was a flash of white-hot pain. There were photos of him during a festival winning you a fish from a difficult carnival game, his eyes smoked beautifully with eyeliner as he grinned (and won the fish). He wonders if you still had it.
Another photo of his birthday party. The two of you had snuck off to your favourite spot in the woods, where he found that you had created your own picnic spot with a spread of his favourite foods. Photos of shy hand-holding, of him resting in your lap and vice versa.
Katsuki was struggling to see the paper for the tears he tried so desperately to blink away before reaching the last page. A whole page was filled with your writing, and Katsuki had to knuckle his eyes to read it.
Dearest Katsuki,
Wow, a year already! I’m so happy that we’ve come so far, my love. I’m so indebted to you for everything that you’ve done for me; helped me with training, putting up with me, hell even just being there for me.
I know I’m not exactly the easiest to get along with, I know I’m easily excitable and not exactly quiet. I love and appreciate that you can listen to me and not get bored, just as I do with you.
Training to be a hero is hard work, so I’m so thankful that you’ve chosen to take your journey with me, even though you’re training so hard to become number one.
I love you more than words can ever describe; you’re the reason I wake up everyday. I adore you, and I hope we can have many more years together kicking ass and beating Deku >o<
Lots and lots and lots of love,
Your (N/N)
Katsuki couldn’t stop the tears that trickled down his face. Reading your words of quiet insecurity, thanking him for things that he threw right back into your face like you were nothing made his heart ache so badly.
He clutched the scrapbook to his chest tightly, sending silent but desperate apologies to you as his head sunk to the floor. Guttural cries escaped him as his choices swirled through his head. The scrapbook’s cover buckled due to the force of his grip as he sobbed his heart out.
Months of self deprecation caught up to him as he craved your touch; he wanted you to hear him, to turn around and hold him tightly to your chest and never ever let go ever again. He needed your sweet affirmations as you played with his hair; “my number one hero,” you would croon as you hugged your tired boyfriend.
His stupid pride got in his way once again, and he finally came to the one conclusion he should have met those 2 fateful months ago.
He couldn’t do this without you.
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The trip back to Heights Alliance was a painful one, but Mina hugged away your issues as soon as she saw your misty orbs.
“I’m so proud of you for doing this bestie. You deserve so much better. It’s time to let go of the past,” she told you softly, pink hair tickling your face. You smiled at your best friend.
“Thank you for everything Mina, I really mean it,” you sniffle, wiping your nose and taking a deep breath. You let go of your friend as you smiled at her.
“I think I’m gonna go for a nap, training was super rough today,” you told her, squeezing her hand as she squeezes back.
“Okay, let me know if you need anything. Sleep well, and I’ll let you know when dinner’s ready,” Mina promised, giving you one last hug.
You gave her a wan smile as you walked to your dorm room, throwing a pained look at your exes room. You shook your head as you unlocked the door and got changed into some comfy clothes. Tired bones sunk onto your bed as you let out a sigh.
“It’s time to let go of the past,” you murmur as you fell asleep. As soon as you were about to beat Shigaraki to a pulp, a loud knocking on your door pulled you from your dream.
The knocking was quiet at first, then grew louder, more desperate. You thought it was Mina, and that you had skipped dinner.
You let out a tired laugh, getting out of bed and redoing your hair.
“Okay, okay Mina, I’m coming-“ your voice was cut short as you opened the door, seeing a disgruntled ex staring at the floor.
Clutched tightly in his hand was the scrapbook, as you looked on in shock. How did he get it?! He wasn’t there when you- oh fuck.
Katsuki raised his head, volcanic eyes plagued with tears as he wildly searched your face. He gingerly reached for your hand before sinking to his knees, placing your hand on his face.
“P-please take me back. I know I was a dick, but I’m willing to show you all of my vulnerabilities. Please baby,” he raised his head again.
“I can’t live without you.”
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rafeysbafey · 4 months
Text
✮ wait for you — rafe cameron
summary. rafe has always hated you, or so you thought
warnings. fem!kook!reader, lil angst idk, not proofread
word count. 1.5k
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you grew up around sarah and the camerons your entire life, your family not nearly as wealthy as them but you were up there.
there were countless sleepovers and pool parties you two would have, mostly at her house.
so being over there 24/7, you were bound to run into the eldest cameron.
at first he was nice, a young charming boy who would let you in the house when sarah wouldn't answer, and sometimes carry your sleepover bag up the stairs for you.
but when you all started high school, something changed.
he had gotten mean.
he would make comments about your appearance or jabs about your presence when you were over, sometimes in passing shoving you out the way.
it hurt when he did this, just because over the years you had developed a small crush on him.
and you thought the feeling was mutual, but obviously you were wrong.
letting yourself into tanny hill, you let the door close behind you as you made your way up the stairs, holding a night bag in your hand as you dragged it along.
"just let yourself in why don't ya" a voice spoke from behind you, cutting through the silence scaring the shit out of you.
you turned around only to be met with rafe, your heart dropping as he made his way up the stairs, stopping directly in front of you.
he had grown, a lot, when he started high school. along with hitting the gym almost everyday, the boy was huge.
or maybe it just felt like that when he towered over your figure.
"i will, thanks" you snapped, ignoring the scowl on his face as you continued to sarah's room.
thankfully he didn't follow, or make some rude remark about how you looked.
your next run in with rafe was at the boneyard, a red solo cup in your hand as you laughed alongside the pogues.
he watched from a distance, a disgusted look on his face as you leaned into jj, the blonde's arm wrapping around your waist to pull you in closer.
'that should be me,' rafe thought, taking another swing of his beer before ripping his eyes away from the sight.
although rafe would deny the living hell out of anyone who asked, he did like you.
he always has.
but after seeing you get close to jj over the past couple of years, he couldn't help but feel two things.
disgust and jealousy.
how dare you date a dirty pogue when he was right there, he could treat you so much better than that blonde low life.
he thought this of course, never daring to say any of this out loud, especially to you.
he saw out of the corner of his eye you get up, bending over slightly to whisper something in jj's ear before stumbling off.
rafe's eyes never once left your figure, watching as you stalked away from the crowd to a more secluded area.
what caught his attention was when a touren caught notice of this, nudging one of his friends before standing up and following.
before rafe could think, he was standing up and tossing his beer into the sand, ignoring the calls from topper and kelce to come back.
he watched as the guy approached you, probably dropping some stupid pick up line as your face contorted into disgust.
you were obviously uncomfortable.
the boy suddenly grabbed your wrist, yanking you towards him as you froze, a look of fear prominent on your face.
"there you are," rafe called out to you, the touren's head whipping around as your brows furrowed together.
yes you were drunk, but you weren't that drunk to realize rafe was actually talking to you.
actually talking to you, not just dropping insults and throwing glares your way.
he sounded, friendly?
"i've been looking for you, babe."
babe?
before you could ask what the fuck he was talking about, he carefully placed his arm over your shoulders, looking down at the guy who stood nervously in front of you two.
you were super confused, but decided to stay quiet because although it was rafe, you were relieved he was here to pull you away from the touren.
this random boy didn't know rafe's reputation, but he could tell by the size of him, he wasn't one to be messed with.
"u-um, i'll just- just go," the boy sputtered out before walking away, hands in his pockets as he kicked sand behind him.
"are you okay?" rafe suddenly turned to you, concern etching his features as he held your wrist, trying to find if there was any bruising or marks.
"i'm okay," you mumbled, pulling away but stumbling as you did so, the alcohol suddenly hitting as you swayed in place.
was the world spinning? or is it just you?
but the look of rafe's face, it's probably just you.
"come on, let's get you home," he said, trying to take your hand but you pulled away, looking up at him with a drunken scowl on your face.
"what the fuck, rafe" you whisper yelled, as if someone was listening.
no one was, obviously, but your head was spinning and your body was shaking you couldn't help but feel on edge.
"why're you acting so nice?"
he seemed taken back by this, your sudden outburst causing him to freeze in place.
"that guy was getting touchy with you-"
"no," you cut him off, trying to maintain eye contact but your neck started to feel sore, 'was he always this tall?' you thought.
"you shouldn't care."
you were right, why was he acting so nice all of a sudden, after years of picking on you and belittling you.
"i just- just" was rafe speechless? for once in his life he was speechless.
"go on," you huffed, a sudden breeze causing you to cross your arms over your chest and shiver slightly.
"i've always cared," rafe mumbled, sighing as your body started to shake as he gestured behind him.
"let me take you home, it's the least i can do."
you thought for a second, biting at your bottom lip as you narrowed your eyes at the boy.
"fine," you mumbled, "but only because i'm freezing my ass off."
the drive back was quiet and long, or maybe it only felt like that because none of you dared to talk.
but the heat was blasting and you were finally warm so you didn't care.
pulling into your driveway, you were about to get out but froze when you felt rafe's hand fall on your shoulder.
"y/n," he spoke, voice so quiet it scared you, "i've always liked you."
"what're you talking about-"
"i just acted a fool because i'm jealous," he groaned, like the words he just spoke had a bitter taste on his tongue.
"jealous?" you questioned, eyebrows furrowing as you gave him a funny look, "jealous of what?"
"jj, you two are obviously dating."
your eyes widened before you let out a laugh, followed by another, and then another.
rafe's brows deepened as you giggled to yourself, the boy thinking you were making fun of him.
gosh he felt so stupid.
"i'm not dating him, you idiot."
rafe doesn't know what he felt first, relief or hope.
relief that you weren't dating that low life pogue, or hope that he finally had a chance.
"he's like a brother to me," you added.
"oh," was all rafe could muster out, silence following after.
you both stared at each other in this silence, daring one another to speak first.
it's when rafe sighed that those two words fell from his lips.
"i'm sorry."
a small smile made its way to your lips, never in your life thinking rafe would ever apologize for the way he's been treating you.
"it's fine, rafe" you said, watching as his eyes widened ever so slightly, "but i can't forgive you that easily. if you want a chance with me, you have to prove your sorry."
okay, maybe you came off a little too cocky.
"so you're saying i have a chance?" rafe smiled, your heart doing a little flip as you pretended to think.
"if you play your cards right."
with that, you slide out the car, shutting the door behind you as you then heard the window roll down.
"can i take you out then?" he asked, nervousness in his voice as you shrugged your shoulders.
"we'll see."
he couldn't help but smile at that, watching you walk towards your front door as he started to reverse out.
before fully pulling out of the driveway, he leaned over the console and yelled out to you.
"i'll wait for you."
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heesdreamer · 1 year
Note
omg the mention of camping in your new heejake fic has me thinking of scenarios in a TENT why am i blushing gn
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LOST TIME
PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader (ex beomgyu x reader mentioned)
SUMMARY ➩ you and your bestfriends, growing up together since you were babies, had a tradition of going camping together every summer. this year you get paired up to share a tent with the boy you’ve been in love with since elementary.
WC ➩ 7.7k
AUTHORS NOTE ➩ honestly this was meant to just be a straight up PWP work due to the request but i got way too into the friendship dynamics and backstory lol.. idk if any other writers relate but sometimes smut just doesn’t feel like it fits in stories but i hope you still like this and maybe ill write something more nsfw later on with this prompt (not proofread and written at like 6am like always lol)
It wasn’t like camping was something you absolutely hated. In fact, for the first 20 years of your life it had been the single thing you looked forward to most throughout the busy year.
At some point it had developed into a promised tradition, an accidental hobby that you and your friend’s coincidentally carried on all throughout your shared childhood and high school.
Your parents had all grown up together too and lived on the same street once they were old enough to start their own families, keeping their tight knit connections and extending it to their partners and children later on in life. You grew up with a community because of this, your neighbors being people you’d spent your entire life around as they were basically family now.
It wasn’t a surprise to any of your parents and their friends families when they all also had kids around the same time, the biggest gap between babies being just over 4 years.
This was how your best friends came to be, as smooth and naturally as gaining a sibling or meeting a soulmate. You grew up surrounded with the same kids, going to the same school and spending holidays together at one of the houses on the shared culdesac.
The camping tradition was started before you even could register what was happening, photos of your parents lined up in bathing suits, holding different sized babies down near the lake shore with bright smiles and sunburns were your only proof that you’d been there as long as you have. As you got older and could enjoy the activities more, it became your favorite thing to do.
Your parents all got older right alongside you and they eventually stopped coming with, knowing you and the other kids would have fun out there while also being safe and smart.
So you continued on like that, all pitching up tents for the weekend and spending your time relaxing on tubes in the river or talking around the campfire, letting off the stress the year had brought you as you finished up high school and entered different colleges.
So it was slightly out of character that you were groaning as you packed your suitcase, complaining to Sunoo on the other side of the phone as he carried out the same action a few houses down.
“It’s just terrible timing.” Your voice was louder than normal as you disappeared into your closet in search of something warm for the colder temperatures at night. “Beomgyu and I are barely even broken up and I’m so behind on class work I could die.”
“Well you know it’s the same time every year Y/N, it’s not like it was sprung on you. Plus Beomgyu broke up with you last fall. I’d say you’re officially over by now.” Sunoo’s voice was barely audible from back in your bedroom but you still sighed and leaned your head onto your dressed with a thud.
He was always brutally honest with you considering he’d known you since you were infants, being the two closest in age out of the rest of you. When you first started school most of the teachers had assumed you were twins, wearing matching clothes and stuck at the hip everywhere you went.
You’d ditched The Shining like fashion now that you were adults but you still were the closest to him out of everybody, having applied to the same college together.
“Plus we haven’t seen the others since the holidays. This is the longest we’ve been apart, aren’t you excited?” His voice was picking up a hopeful tone as he tried to cheer you up and change your mood around.
You sighed softly again and walked back to your bedroom, grabbing your phone from the bed and holding it to your ear so you could hear him better. Leaning forward to look out your window across the small chunk of yard that separated you from your neighbor, you could see him sitting in his chair with a big smile on his face.
“You’ll be sick of them in an hour.” You remarked and knocked on the window, his head picking up to look over at you.
“I’m always sick of them.” He was rolling his eyes and you watched his mouth move in silence as the phone audio lagged behind a few seconds. “That’s the best part.”
You smiled at that and nodded although he wasn’t looking at you anymore, turning back to his bag. You did miss your other friends, almost an impossible amount.
You spent a lot of nights in your dorm room thinking about them and how horrible it was to be apart, replaying the goodbyes you all gave each other at the airport over and over in your mind as you tried to remain hopeful for the next time you could reunite. Nothing could prepare you for how difficult it was to separate for them, your parents all watching you with sad smiles in the background as you cried and hugged each other.
Coming home for Christmas felt like you’d gained a piece of your heart back, spending the entire break inseparable and having more fun than you possibly could with the more casual friends you’d met in school.
Your parents hadn’t nagged you for not being home a lot or felt sad that you all rather be together than with them for Christmas Eve and morning, understanding more than anybody else what it felt like to have such friendships.
“Aren’t you excited to see Heeseung?” Sunoo’s voice cut into your happy daydreams and the smile fell from your face at his teasing tone, stiffening slightly as he glanced at you from his room again, an eyebrow raised in amusement at your reaction.
“I’m excited to see everybody.” You said stiffly and he let out a small laugh at your sudden serious tone, knowing you had caught on to what he was implying. “Sunoo, don’t make it weird.”
“I’m not.” He gasped like it was an offensive thing to suggest, standing and approaching the window so you could see him better as he continued to tease you. “I just think it might be interesting considering this is the first time you’ve seen your childhood lover since being single again.”
“Do not call him that.” You were groaning and flopping back on your bed to which he let out another amused laugh.
You loved all of your friends equally, each one of them bringing a different set of pros to your life and helping to shape your personality as you grew up and molded into the person you were now. They were your family, brothers you never had and they felt the same way about you, resulting in no one ever dating within the group or causing awkward moments that could potentially upset the harmonious balance.
Lee Heeseung was the exception.
Despite Sunoo’s ridiculous phrasing he had never been your lover, not even remotely coming close to it. In fact things were almost more platonic with him than anybody else, never hugging you for too long or jokingly flirting to try and get on your nerves.
You weren’t exactly sure what it was about Heeseung that you liked so much. You’d seen him grow up the same as the other boys and while their changes annoyed you, scrunching your nose at classic boyish humor or lack of hygiene as they all shot up in height and their voices started cracking, Heeseung was the most beautiful person you’d ever met in your entire life.
He’d been born first out of all the babies but he never took advantage of being the eldest, always kind and generous as he drove everybody around and asked for group opinions instead of just doing whatever he wanted out of seniority.
He was funny in a way you didn’t know boys could be funny, not even meaning to make you laugh sometimes and just coincidentally being a beacon of light and humor that left all of you bending over trying to catch your breath at the dinner table. You liked this about him but you liked the small proud smile he’d have after everytime even more.
It certainly didn’t help that he was handsome in an unreal way. He had seemingly barely dipped a toe in the awkward phase you all went through before he was shooting up in height and his features were sharpening, solidifying into somebody who could’ve been intimidating if he wasn’t always smiling and goofing around.
But Heeseung was never your lover and he never would be considering your crush for him, that you had mistakenly spilled to Sunoo at some point during your senior year of high school, was completely dead and gone as far as you were concerned.
You’d even gotten a boyfriend to prove this to yourself, meeting a sophomore on your first day of college and immediately being taken by his style and humor. He reminded you of your friends back home as much as somebody could manage and he helped you adjust to being away from everyone outside of Sunoo. You’d even brought him back home with you last thanksgiving, letting him meet your friends before he abruptly dumped you on your drive back to the airport.
When you’d gotten out of the car with swollen eyes and red cheeks, your friends who had been waiting in the lobby to say the round of goodbyes had immediately crowded around you in worry.
Heeseung was standing back a bit and you tried not to make eye contact with him, humiliated as you murmured to them that Beomgyu had just broken up with you only a few minutes ago.
Jay was furious and attempting to go and confront the boy who was checking your bags in with security but Jungwon was quickly reminding him that you had to spend the next 4 hours sat right beside him on the cramped plane and they didn’t need to make the silence anymore uncomfortable than it already was going to be.
“I can drive you back.” Heeseung’s soft voice was coming from behind the bickering pair and you glanced up at him with wide teary eyes, not liking the pitiful gaze he was peering down at you with.
You felt sick at his suggestion as your heart skipped a few beats, the harsh reminder of how kind and generous he was immediately followed by the realization that no matter how hard your tried or how long of a relationship you had, he’d still make your stomach light up with butterflies. You turned down his offer and said your goodbyes with more tears than usual, promising to see them soon.
Heeseung hadn’t come to Christmas for the first time in your lives and as much fun as you had seeing each other again, the balance was always off whenever one of you weren’t present. He’d claimed he was busy with work and that he’d tried to get time off but he simply couldn’t, a message in the group chat about how he couldn’t wait to go camping being the last time you’d heard from him.
By the time Sunoo spoke again you could see him throwing his backpack over his shoulder and wheeling his suitcase out the door. “This could be the year you know. You should make a move.”
“Don’t be stupid.” You shook your head although he couldn’t see you anymore. “There is no move to be made, we’re bestfriends.”
“That’s because you- Hi Mrs L/N.” You could hear your front door open both through the phone speaker and your own ears. “Are too pussy to do anything about it.”
He whispered the last part so your mom wouldn’t hear and you laughed at the way he stopped mid insult to greet her with an affectionate tone. You hung up the phone and laid flat on your back as you waited for him to climb the stairs to your room.
He was pushing the door open only seconds later and he paused in the doorway when he saw you pathetically sprawled out in your own self pity, sighing softly before climbing on the bed besides your head and petting your hair gently as he kissed his teeth.
“Poor thing. In love with the village idiot.” He was shaking his head and you shoved his hand off of you as he let out a laugh, shielding himself from your attacks. You were sitting up to push him again when three long honks were ringing from outside, catching both of your attention.
You were off the bed and grabbing your bags before you could say another word, a childlike excitement washing over you as you giddily ran down the stairs and gave your mom a rushed kiss goodbye as she complained about the fact Jay had honked and didn’t come in to say hello.
By the time you got outside the other boys were already out of the car, meeting you halfway in laughed filled hugs and you and Sunoo ran to embrace them.
“Oh my god, when did you get so tall?” You were pulling away from Riki in exclamation as you held his arms and shook his frame slightly, scanning him all the way up to his face that was now having to look down at you. “What are they feeding you over there?”
“Straight protein.” Jake was answering before the youngest could, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and he also admired Riki’s growth spurt, although slightly envious considering he hadn’t grown much since high school.
“Protein won’t make you grow idiot.” Sunghoon was leaning against the van with a judging expression as he looked at his friend and roommate, him and Jake going to the same school about an hour away.
You’d stayed in pairs or groups for the most part since moving out. Sunoo and you, Jake and Sunghoon and then Jay, Jungwon and Riki had all moved in together at the best school in the state neighboring yours.
Heeseung was the only one who hadn’t applied alongside any of you despite the belief you all were going to try and stay together as much as possible while still supporting your individual dreams and wants. He had applied to all the same schools as you all did, getting accepted into every single one. Yet when it came down to choosing, he moved the furthest away on his own.
When he had sat you all down in Jungwon’s basement to announce this you remember feeling betrayed. Hurt at him leaving and even more upset that he hadn’t picked the school you were attending considering that was the option he seemed to be leaning towards according to what he told you
You can recall the others cheering in celebration at the fact he’d gotten into an extremely good college despite the sadness that settled in on everyone’s faces when they realized what that meant. You caught his eye at some point during that exchange and he flinched away, not wanting to look at you the same way you did to him at the airport.
Not similarly to the way he was looking at you now, rounding the front of the van as he got out of the passenger seat and made his way to where you were all gathered.
You tensed up for a moment when you first saw him and Riki noticed, following your gaze over his shoulder as he turned around and smiled once he saw what you were looking at, walking over to Heeseung and dragging him towards you with a pat on the back.
“Hey.” He was breathing out as he looked down at you and you took a second to take in his appearance.
It hadn’t been that long since you’d seen him but somehow he looked different, or maybe he just felt different considering how much broader his shoulders were and how much more sure of himself he seemed. You weren’t exactly sure what it was about him that was striking you as new but you were momentarily stunned as you took him in.
Sunoo was nudging you with him elbow suddenly and you realized you’d been completely zoned out checking Heeseung out as you ignored his greeting. “Hi Hee.”
He smiled down at you softly but didn’t say anything else, just standing there for a second before Jay was smacking the hood of the old van and announcing you had to hit the road or else you’d miss the site check in time. You gave him a quick glance before moving to carry your bags into the trunk, stopping when big hands were overlapping yours on the handle.
“Let me do it.” You looked up from under your eyelashes to see Heeseung bending over slightly as he gathered your stuff for you.
You were too stunned to say anything and he smiled again, fuller this time as he turned with your stuff and started to load it up. Sunoo was chuckling from beside you and you whipped your head to the side to shoot him a glare, a silent warning for him to be quiet and not draw attention to the blush on your face or the fact your stomach was lighting up with the same familiar feeling it always did whenever you were around the oldest boy.
The ride was uneventful for the most part, three hours passing as the boys in front of you caught up and told childish jokes, at one point having a competition to see who could catch the most goldfish in their mouth before they were gagging.
Heeseung hadn’t joined in with them from his seat in front of you but you could see his cheeks rising with a smile every time Sunoo squeaked out a laugh or Riki started to tease Jay who was driving. You and Sunghoon were in the back, playing games on his phone as you passed it back and forth and tried to ignore the eyes you could feel looking back at you every once in a while.
You were all just starting to reach your boredom limit and the car was filling with groans of pain as you stretched your legs out onto others and complained about your back pain, when you finally were pulling up to the familiar area.
As you shuffled out of the van, you took a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut. It was rare to find this type of visual anywhere you were used to, the large trees surrounding the clear lake with small mountains out in the distance.
The air felt clear and light in your lungs and the temperature was perfect, just hot enough that you could go swimming still but also bundle into a sweater to avoid getting an overwhelming amount of bug bites.
You helped unload the trunk with the others, setting up the grills and coolers in a small area a few feet away from the main camp site. It was empty now, a small lot of perfectly mowed grass but you’d seen the process enough times to know with only a little bit of work, it could turn into a comfortable home for you to spend the weekend. Jake helped you moved some of the heavier stuff, giggling when he almost tripped over a branch walking backwards.
“Here comes the worst part.” He was leaning over to whisper to you as you walked back to camp.
Jay was sitting on the picnic table the campsite offered to people who stayed multiple nights, the hat he had been wearing in his hands as Sunoo ripped up little pieces of paper next to him.
Jake was right in the sense that this was the most meticulous part of the weekend but you never completely minded it. Your names would all be written on a piece of paper and put into the hat, then you’d draw two at a time and be given your tent roommate for the trip. Sunghoon and Jake often got paired and he’s complain the entire time, citing him as a blanket hog.
For 90% of the years you’d done this tradition you’d gotten Sunoo, eventually you imagined it had something to do with the fact he was the one who always got to call out the names being pulled.
Nobody ever called him out for it despite the way they’d roll their eyes as he put on a show of surprise, gasping and covering his mouth in shock and you laughed and cheered him on. So you weren’t thinking too much about the mischievous look on his face, figuring he was just planning out how his performance was going to go this time around.
“Okay first up to bat.” Jay was calling out in a serious tone, shuffling the slips around now that they were all accounted for.
“Jake.” Sunoo was announcing as he pulled the first one out, unfolding it and showcasing it slowly to your eager eyes. Jake nudged your side with an excited look on his face, crossing his fingers and squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation. “And…. Sunghoon!”
“Oh no fucking way.” The boy next to you was groaning loudly as he dropped to his knees dramatically, holding his head and trying to block out the sounds of Sunghoon laughing and cheering as he mocked him.
You laughed with him, looking at Sunoo who winked at you and bunched the papers up in his hands. You bent down to wrap your arms under Jake’s arms, tugging him back up to a standing position as he dramatically leaned against you.
Sunghoon was excitedly skipping over to the two of you, face lit up with pleasure at the sound of his friends complaints. He helped you hold up Jake who had gone completely limp as he feigned death. “Hurry up, he’s heavy.”
“Alright next up is…” Sunoo paused dramatically like he was waiting for a drum roll, sighing and muttering how you guys weren’t any fun when nobody humored him. “Jungwon and Sunoo.”
Jungwon let out a cheer and a swift clap, although not moving from where he was lounging in a camping chair beside the picnic table. Sunoo gave you another look, the same mischievous grin on his face that he had before, although now it made your blood run cold as you quickly realized what he was attempting to do.
“Riki and Jay.” You were proven right as the third pair was announced and you stiffened up completely in shock and betrayal, not even paying attention to the two boys and they agreed they were going to get the best and biggest tent since Riki was the tallest.
“Looks like it’s me and you.” To make your situation worse, Heeseung’s low voice was suddenly hitting your ear and you turned to glance at him.
He looked slightly awkward, not nearly as awkward as you were feeling, and you felt a wave a guilt at the fact he had most likely saw your upset reaction. You hoped he just figured it was because you liked to be close with Sunoo, although right now you were considering drowning him in the lake, and didn’t think it had anything to do with him.
“Looks like it.” You gave him a tensed smile knowing it absolutely everything to do with him.
——
The day was so fun you were almost able to forget your unfortunate sleeping situation. Everybody had gone down to the lake the second the tents were properly set up and secured into the ground, greeting familiar campers who lived on site full time during the summers and splashing each other aggressively until somebody was screaming and blowing water out of their nose.
It exhausted you fast and you were back at the camp only a few hours later so you could conserve your energy, watching Jay and thanking him as he grilled enough meat for all of you to eat multiple servings.
Now the sun had set and your first night was coming to an end in the most peaceful way possible, listening to your best friends have low voiced talks around a crackling campfire. You weren’t saying much but you liked to hear them tell stories about their months apart from you and drink in their voices that you had missed so dearly.
“Shit just changes in college.” Riki was mumbling and you watched him with tired eyes, nodding your head as he spoke about how he’s felt slightly out of place now that he was away from home.
“That’s because everybody is either having sex or trying to.” Jake was remarking from beside you and you turned to glare at him.
He was playing with the dangling netted cup holder of your foldable chair and you slapped his hand away at his statement, causing him to chuckle and nudge you with his foot as he shrugged. “Hey, it’s true.”
“Not for everybody.” Sunghoon was shaking his head and giving him the same grossed out look you were. He was sat across from you and he glanced at you from behind the fire with a nod of agreement. “Some of us have better stuff to do than go to parties every weekend and dick off.”
Jake was scoffing in disbelief and you watched Sunghoon shoot him a pointed look like he was telling him to keep quiet, your mouth dropping into a surprised laugh at the fact he had tried to lie and pretend to agree with you.
“Don’t let her fool you, she complains about her virginity every other day.” Sunoo was casually saying as he took a sip of his drink, his head tilting back to finish it and missing the reaction from the group.
It had fallen completely silent and you stiffened up awkwardly in your chair, a wave of embarrassment washing over you at your friends blunt phrasing. He had always been known to tell the truth about anything and everything but he seemed to realize this was too far, even for him, putting his cup down slowly and offering you an apologetic grimace.
“What?” Jake was sitting up in his chair and turning to fully face you, leaning forward and tugging on your sleeve with an urgent look on his face. “You’ve never had sex?”
“Dude you were with Beomgyu for like 3 years.” Jungwon was muttering from a few spots over and you glared in his direction at the mention of your ex boyfriend.
“Eight months.” The voice from the other seat beside you was speaking for the first time in a while and you turned your gaze slowly to see Heeseung stiff in his chair, staring into the fire as he played with his empty cup absentmindedly. You wondered if he even realized he had said something, let alone suddenly announced the exact amount of time you’d been in a relationship.
“Regardless dude, weren’t you guys like super serious?” Riki was adding on and you looked over to him, happy no one else had realized how weird what Heeseung had said was.
Despite how open you all were with each other, it was rare the conversation about sex lives ever extended over to you. As much as you didn’t really mind the idea of talking to them about your experiences, or lack there of, you also weren’t totally oppose to them never asking and you never telling.
You would’ve laughed at the fact they all looked personally offended you hadn’t gotten laid, maybe even joined in on the banter, if it wasn’t for the boy next to you and how embarrassing it was for him to be hearing it all. As much as you wished you thought of Heeseung the same as the other boys, you didn’t and this proved it.
“It’s not a big deal guys… he never tried or anything. I didn’t think much about it.” You were flushed bright red, thankfully hidden underneath the dark night, and shaking your head as you tried to feign casualness.
“Not a big deal?” Jake was laughing in disbelief and leaning forward more so you’d fully understand the sincerity in his words. “He was with YOU for almost a year and never made a move? He’s crazy.”
You were turning to glare at him at his wording and he leaned back a few inches, keeping a hand on your chair.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You groaned as you realized this wasn’t something they were going to just let go and move on from, being presented with the most interesting conversation point of the night.
“You’re hot.” He said it like it was something obvious and clear and you faltered in shock, mouth parting and you leaned forward to smack him on the shoulder. He winced and flinched away from you with an upset whine. “I’m just saying dude! We all think it.”
You turned away from him to scan the rest of the circle with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows, watching the other boys awkwardly avoid your gaze or just outwardly nod their heads in agreement with Jake. (Sunghoon and Jay.)
You weren’t stupid and you knew the boys were attractive, each of them fit and handsome constantly drawing attention all throughout high school, subjecting you to glares from girls in the hallways and boys trying to befriend you in an attempt to get closer to them.
Still, you’d never considered the fact that they thought about you in a similar way. You never thought too deeply into your own appearance at all, both positively and negatively but you figured the idea would never cross their minds considering they strictly treated you as a close friend or even a sibling at times, minus Jake and his meaningless flirting.
For some reason your gaze fell to Heeseung, who was still completely stiff beside you. He hadn’t been looking at you before but now he was and you faltered slightly at the hard expression on his face, eyes low with something you couldn’t make out in the dark.
“Shut up Jake, don’t be so stupid.” You were turning away from him quickly as you muttered the words and they dropped it quickly the second they realized you were actually uncomfortable and not just messing around.
The conversation moved on for now but you imagined they’d bring it back up at some point during the weekend. You felt a bit better now that the attention was mostly off of you, Jake’s hand resting on your arm as he played with your sleeve softly. You figured he must be feeling guilty for making such a big deal out of it so you ignored him, happily accepting the invitation to go to bed when Jungwon was standing with a yawn.
The awkwardness of that conversation had made you complete forgot about your sleeping situation but you were reminded quickly as the other boys stood to also head to bed, Heeseung standing slowly and hovering near you.
He followed behind you closely as you ducked into the tent but neither of you spoke as you zipped it up, sitting down on the sleeping back to shuffle through your bag as you searched for your pajamas.
You felt bad it was so awkward between the two of you. You’d always felt more cautious around him considering your past crush but you never let it show, not wanting him to think you liked him less than the others or worse, realize the truth was the direct opposite. Still there was something clearly different in their air now and it was suffocating you a bit as you waited for him to joke around or say something stupid to break the tension.
“Are you into Jake?” When he finally spoke it threw you off completely, not expecting him to say something like in such a hardened tone.
You froze in your movements inside your bag, looking up at him in confusion. “What?”
He was halfway sat leaning against a few pillows, watching you from the other side of the tent with that same unreadable expression he had by the fire. He didn’t clarify what he said, knowing you had heard him and you watched him for a few seconds in silent bewilderment.
“Why would you ask me that?” You mumbled, shaking your head and looking down at your disorganized clothes pile again. It slightly agitated you that he hadn’t spoken to you for most of the day and yet that was the first question from his mouth.
“Just wondering.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a completely taboo topic to be questioning you about but his face was anything but casual. “Are you into any of them? Would you hook up with one of us?”
“How can you ask me that? Would you ask one of the boys that or is it because I’m the only girl?” You glared at him as you spoke.
“I’d ask them if I cared.” He stated and you scoffed, not fully understanding what he was attempting to imply in his statement.
He wasn’t acting like himself and you felt a bit worried that maybe you had done something to upset him or weirded him out with your awkward demeanor. You didn’t bother to reply again, grabbing your toothbrush with the pajamas you’d chosen and leaving the tent swiftly through the zippered door.
You were speed walking down towards the public bathrooms and showers on the other side of the camp site, flustered from his random interrogation and replaying the day to decide if you’d done anything that could make him think that.
Jake was touchy with everybody, especially you at times since you objected the least but he always had been and it definitely wasn’t a new and shocking thing for him to be touching your arm or hugging onto your side. You contemplated it potentially being due to his comment about you being hot but considering the context in which he said it, you didn’t think that was the reason.
A hand around your arm was snapping you from your thoughts and you let out a small yelp, spinning around to see Heeseung who was panting slightly.
His eyes were wide a bit like he was worried and you saw a flash of guilt pass through then when he saw your flushed face. He squeezed your arm for a second before letting it go and you gave him a questioning stare at the fact he had seemingly rushed out of the tent to follow you into the darkness.
“Let me walk you there.” He blurred out and gestured to the fact he was also holding his pajamas and night hygiene products. “It’s dark, you shouldn’t be out here alone.”
You scoffed slightly at his concern, both of you knowing you weren’t in any danger at the campsite and it was barely a ten minute walk through a lit trail, but nonetheless you nodded at him and continued walking with him now at your side. He didn’t say anything else and neither did you, parting ways silently once you got to the building and he went to the male side.
You took a second to breathe once inside, leaning your elbows on the counter and looking at yourself in the mirror underneath the yellow flickering lights. You brushed your teeth quickly and changed into a comfortable sweater and shorts, wandering back outside to see Heeseung already there and leaning against the wall.
He watched as you walked past him silently, lingering for a second before jogging to catch up with you.
“I’m sorry.” He was muttering and you looked at him for a second before focusing back in front of you so you didn’t trip over the bumpy terrain. “I shouldn’t have asked you that.”
You shrugged softly and you felt his arm bump into yours as you walked side by side, approaching the tent in silence. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore, certainly not wanting to hear the reason he thought you’d be hooking up with Jake of all people.
When you finally were back inside and putting your toothbrush away you tried to ignore the fact he was climbing onto the large sleeping bag waiting for you to join inside it before he could zip it up completely. Your heart was pounding thinking about sleeping next to him and you suddenly felt overly hot despite the cold chill of the night.
You’d slept next to Heeseung before, all accustomed to sharing beds or living room floors during sleepovers, sometimes even all smushing together inside Jungwon’s van when you had a particularly long late night adventure. Yet it felt extremely intimate to be alone together and zipped up inside a sleeping bag.
Still you had no other option and the cold was starting to get to you considering your pajama shorts, so you scooted over onto the staticky fabric and held your breath as he leaned over you to seal it.
He laid back onto his back and you fell into more silence, not quite touching but you could feel his shoulder only a few inches from yours, rising and falling as he took deep breaths. He was shifting a bit to try and get comfortable and directly bumped into you, freezing at the contact but not making any move to scoot further away.
“I really am sorry for asking you that.” He was suddenly speaking but his voice was so quiet you barely heard him at first, a tired rasp lacing his words.
“It’s fine Hee. Not a big deal.” You whispered back, the air feeling strangely delicate. His hand was touching your wrist randomly but you assumed it was an accident, sparing him a glance at his touch and finding him staring at the roof of the tent.
“Pissed me off when he said that.” His voice was still low but it was hardening again like it had earlier and you winced slightly, confused at his mood changes. Heeseung was never the type to get angry and definitely not somebody who would voice it so openly like this. “Is that weird to say?”
“I’m not sure I get what you mean.” You were bending your legs so your feet were flat against the tent floor and your knees were pointed upwards, feeling strangely vulnerable at the conversation topic.
His hand that was barely grazing your wrist was moving now and you stiffened when he completely grasped it, sliding slowly down your arm until he could feel your palm under his finger tips. You sucked in a breath at his strange actions, never really directly touching him before despite how close you all were to each other.
“I don’t think I know what I mean either.” He was letting out a small self deprecating laugh but he squeezed your hand now that they were intertwined. “I just know whenever he touches you it makes me feel crazy.”
Your heart felt heavy at his sudden confession and you were slightly dizzy as you were trying to process what he was saying and what it meant if he was implying what you thought he might be. It seemed like he was trying to tell you that he was jealous of Jake, jealous of him for touching you earlier and for the way he playfully flirted.
“Jake’s harmless.” You whispered back and you’re not sure why that’s what you chose to address instead of asking him why on earth that would upset him.
“I know.” He said it like he was frustrated, like you were missing the point he was trying to make. “It’s not about that, I don’t know forget it.”
He was unraveling his hand from yours but you instinctively caught him in the middle of his arm, panicked at the thought of him pulling away now that you’ve finally made some progress towards… something you still weren’t fully understanding. But you’d never even toed the line with Heeseung before and you weren’t going to take it for granted.
He was finally glancing at you now that you were practically hugging his arm and his face wasn’t hard anymore, instead having a nervous unsure look that you hadn’t really seen on him before.
“Help me understand.” You loosened your grip on his arm but kept it held against you, breathing heavier as you looked at each other.
He watched you for a while but didn’t say anything just yet, you tried not to flinch when he rolled over on his side so he could face you better and it seemed to work considering his free hand was coming up to push some of your hair behind your ear, resting on your cheek for a second before going back to his side like he hadn’t meant to do it.
“Why did you never have sex with Beomgyu?” He was whispering again and his words sounded particularly vulgar although he sounded like he was genuinely curious.
You didn’t answer for a while because you honestly didn’t have one that wouldn’t make you sound like you were desperate and insane. You could halfway lie and tell him it just didn’t feel right but you had a feeling he would be able to see right through you like he always could.
“It didn’t work right?” He started speaking again before you could and you were turning on your side too so you could look at him in confusion, still holding his arm that was resting in the middle of you. When he saw your confused look he explained further. “Using him to get over me, it didn’t work.”
You froze and your mouth fell open, almost worried you were going to cry considering how embarrassed you felt that he had apparently known your biggest secret this entire time. A sick feeling washed over you and he seemed to notice because he shifted closer to you slightly with a worried expression.
You thought back to how Heeseung had acted on the trip you’d brought your ex boyfriend to. He was more distant than usual but you figured he was just busy and stressed since he had been working so hard, this being confirmed when he couldn’t get time off to attend Christmas.
Now a large part of you was wondering if it was something else, if he had lied so he didn’t have to face you after your breakup. If Jake, somebody he knew and trusted, flirting with you had bothered him tonight then there was no way he hadn’t been even slightly upset considering you and Beomgyu were openly affectionate the entire break.
You tried to not blame yourself for the fact he had missed out on movie night that week, citing he wasn’t feeling well and barely sparing a glance to the two of you curled up together under a blanket on the couch. Remembering how he stared at you over dinner when you were introducing the boy with a bright smile on your face, avoiding his heavy gaze all night because it made your heart feel guilty.
It also made you feel incredibly stupid. Not only did he seem to know you were in love with him but he also determined your entire reasoning for rushing into a relationship.
“You knew?” Your hurt was shown clearly in your tone and his eyes saddened a little.
“Of course I knew, I thought we both did.” He shook his head a little like he was finding himself stupid. “Imagine my surprise when you come home with a boyfriend.”
“You left.” You spat out to him, squeezing his arm at the reminder he had willingly moved farther away from you than anybody else. Despite the fact you’d spent multiple nights together talking about the colleges you’d choose and he assured you he wouldn’t go far if he didn’t pick the one you were set on.
“I had to.” He sounded pained and stressed out like it had been weighing on him and your heart clenched considering you knew exactly how he felt.
As frustrated as you were at the situation you imagined it would’ve been hard for him too, having feelings for you the same way you did but never being sure. You definitely did your best to hide it to keep your friendship steady since it was your priority and you tried to think about how hurt you would be if he suddenly brought a girlfriend to your holidays, stomach turning at the thought.
“I am over you.” You said it forcefully as you tried to salvage any bit of friendship that was left but neither of you believed the words you were saying, his eyebrow raising as he watched you with a curious expression.
“Yeah?” He was mumbling and you squeezed his arm instinctively at his deepened tone and the way his voice quirked up in a question. You nodded your head and hummed softly in agreement, standing behind your claim.
He was shifting closer again and your nose bumped against his, causing you to suck in a sharp breath.
You tried not to think about the fact this was the closest you’d ever been to him, tried not to think about how he basically just confessed to you and taken almost two decades worth of weight off your shoulders. You especially tried not to think about the fact his eyes were flicking down to your lips every few seconds.
You didn’t think about anything at all when he was finally kissing you, closing your eyes immediately and leaning into each other like this was something you did often. Despite how constant you’d thought about what it would be like to kiss him one day, you were still surprised by how natural it felt.
It didn’t make you nervous to lean into him, not even when he let out a small huffy groan when he rolled onto his back so you could be laying halfway on top of him.
Something about kissing Heeseung came naturally to you and he seemed to be thinking similarly considering the way he let out a small relieved sigh when you pulled away to breathe, big hands coming up to tangle in your hair and hold your face still above his as he studied your swollen lips and dazed expression.
He gave you a soft smile and your lips quirked up at the sight of it, feeling content and happy despite your stomach lighting up with those familiar butterflies, leaning back down to kiss him again before you wasted any more time.
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sopestvr · 10 months
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♱⠀“SPIDEY SENSE.” :⠀BLLCK BOYS !
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ “NO.. FREAKING.. WAY.”
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ †
⟣⠀IN WHICH .. sae itoshi’s beloved girlfriend is non other than spider woman herself; his unwanted, yet forced friends discovering the truth after ambushing the boy unannounced one friday evening.
⟣⠀GENRE .. boyfriend!sae xx spiderman!reader. established relationship. fluff. comedy. drabble (1.1k).
⟣⠀CONTENTS .. fem reader. fluff (sort of??). comedy reactions. spider-man universe.
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✩⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“WHY ARE you guys even here? I never invited you over..” Sae inquired at the grouping of boys who cluttered by his front door, the red-head merely opening the door a slither so they couldn’t barge in.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“We just wanted to hang out. Is that so hard to believe” Oliver pestered the boy, his broad arms folding across his chest as his patience gradually grew thin.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Standing alongside the man were the only other boys at Blue Lock who could actually withstand to be around Sae. Stood opposite of the boy was Oliver, Isagi, Nagi, Bachira, Chigiri, and Rin; who, by unpopular demand, was dragged along by the others. He tried to refuse, but his mates were far stronger when working together.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Who is we? You damn idiots dragged me her-”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Anyways, C’mon man. We just got the new Spider-Woman documentary on dvd, I know you secretly like her. Everyone does!” Bachira chimed in, shoving his hands in Sae’s face to display the brand new dvd case.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The more the boys rambled on, the more Sae continuously checked his watch; keeping tabs on the time with his eyes wandering every few seconds. It was evident that the boy was antsy, he repeatedly fidgeted with the door knob and was lifting his wrist every so often.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The only one who took note of such actions was Rin Itoshi himself, knowing how his arrogant and stubborn brother got when he was doing something he knew he shouldn’t be. The dark-haired boy cocked an eyebrow at Sae’s gestures, attempting to get the guys to leave, yet he was pushed off with the boys pushing closer to Sae’s apartment door.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The time frame was becoming smaller by the millisecond, Sae’s annoyance tolerance off the charts with a vein protruding through his forehead.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“You guys need to leave. Now.” Sae’s once irritation-filled voice had become stern and filled with a slight authority.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Dude, c’mon we came all the way here just for yo-” Before Isagi could finish his dreadful speech, a vague, yet fairly close whistle was heard from afar.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀A striking chill spiraled up Sae’s spine, the boy instantly moving from the door and causing a few of the guys to stumble into the apartment. He hurriedly rushed across the common area, all of the boys utterly confused on seeing Sae in such a rush spontaneously.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Speeding towards the living room, the boy maneuvered around all the furniture that was in the room before stopping in front of a window on the far left corner of the room. His hands were hastily fiddling with the glass locks and flipping them up, reaching for the bottom and lifting the window open.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀He made sure to step away instantly, once he saw webs being shot at the edges of the window. Zips and Wooshes were heard nearing the window once the cluster of boys entered the living room, Sae groaning at the fact that they were still at his place. He knew it was too late, the inevitable was bound to happen sooner or later.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Pinching the bridge of his nose, he stood alongside his couch; hearing the web slinging sounds get closer by the second. Before he could even acknowledge the guys, a body was shooting through the window with webs following right behind them. Sae didn’t even need to look up to know what his mates reactions were, he could just feel them.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The person who flew themself into Sae’s common room had flipped their body mid air and landed on their feet, their knees being bent so that they were crouched close to the ground; a hand placed on the floor to slow down their momentum.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Gasps were passed all throughout the living room from the guys, Sae sighing just after. He hated the fact he couldn’t keep the guys from leaving, his annoyance only skyrocketing.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀However, the person who flew into the apartment had paid no mind to any of the boys, completely oblivious to the fact that people were in their home aside from their boyfriend. Standing from their previous crouching position, they swiftly removed their mask that covered their entire head and shook their waist-long hair out a bit.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Holy shit, babe, today was literally so fucking crazy. Was trying to save people like every other day and these annoying ass paps were all in my damn face while i was literally in the middle of a fight. Did I web ‘em a bit? Maybe, pero don’t be mad, it was necessary, lo juro!” ( but / i swear ) The woman rambled on as she insensibly waltzed over to the kitchen and made her way around the island, setting her mask atop it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀She was entirely unaware that a group of ultimate fanboys were standing in her primary room, Sae rolling his eyes at his girlfriends heedlessness.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀However, the moment after she grabbed a drink from the fridge and spun on her heels to alas face Sae, the woman’s heart dropped into the pits of her stomach; snapple tea spitting out everywhere whilst rough coughs and heaves of air filled the antagonizing silence.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Really, Y/N?” Sae sighed, continuing to face palm at his helpless girlfriend who could save an entire city just from a simple off-feeling, yet couldn’t tell when their living room was filled with annoying teenage boys.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Yo tengo asthma!” ( I have asthma ) the girl whined in between breaths, Sae walking over to her and handing her the inhaler she left on the side table in the living room.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀After taking a few hits at the medical tool, the girl dragged her hand down her face with an exasperated sigh exerting her lips just after.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“No..”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Freaking..”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Way..” Isagi started, Bachira interrupting the boy; along with Oliver finishing off the trios unanimous surprise.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀There was no use in [Y/N] putting her mask back on, so she simply accepted her fate of having a group of random guys discovering her secret.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Sae.. Why’re they here?” [Y/N] asked with a sigh filling her tone of voice.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “I’m sorry, they just showed up unannounced and walked in.” Sae sighed, glaring daggers at the boys who simply avoided eye contact with the pair.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Well, in our defense, we just wanted to watch your new documentary with him!” Isagi attempted to defend him and the guys, yet earning a glare from both [Y/N] and Sae.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Yeah, okay..” the boy murmured, instantly shutting up right after he spoke.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Whatever. Doesn’t matter now that you all know, of course. And, I know you have questions cus everyone always does, so c’mon” [Y/N] accepted her destined fate, resting her chin along her wrist while awaiting the questions that were bound to suffocate her.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀It took the boys a moment to grasp her words before they rushed up to the kitchen island and started rambling on with questions and love confessions, [Y/N] chuckling at the sight of a pissed off Sae from the revelations.
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© SOPESTVR PRODUCTIONS 2023 ♱ please do not plagiarize or steal my works. all rights reserved.
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delqcate · 6 months
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-–— FLANNEL SHIRTS : FLUFFTOBER DAY 3
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i was supposed to post this yesterday but i was incredibly tired, anyways this is shorter and personally not one of my favorites so far, but i hope you guys still like it 🤸‍♀️ | flufftober | navigation
summary: nothing sounds better than being wrapped around in scott barringer's flannel shirts
warnings/cw: no y/n
word count: 0.5k
paring: scott barringer x you
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Flannel shirts were his brand at this point. You see a tall, dirty blonde boy wearing any type of flannel, it was most likely Scott. Whether the season or weather, he would be wearing one.
It was something you noticed when you first met him, his blue flannel shirt just seemed like a style choice until a couple of weeks later when you noticed he had almost every color imaginable. And as you grew closer to him, the thought of wearing one of them sounded like one of the best comforts right next to his warm embrace.
The bell that rang throughout the wooden walls of the classroom snapped you out of your thoughts and started to pack your things alongside everyone. "I was thinking, since we have to do that reading over the weekend, why don't we just read it together? At least the first few pages."
His raspy voice was always something you loved about him. "It's not a bad idea. How about after classes tonight in the common room?" You move closer to him as the both of you walk, not too close to cause stares. He nods and looks into your eyes, a silent look that you understand despite it saying a thousand words.
It was late at night, and you and Scott were curled up on the couch together surrounded by the other Cliffhangers who were reading or just talking with each other. But you couldn't focus as Scott read the book aloud so the both of you could be on the same page, your gaze was focused on his flannel shirt.
It was a darker color than his other flannels, but it complimented him well, especially at this time of the year. You didn't even realize that he had stopped reading until he spoke. "You still there? I feel like you're not as interested in my reading." He chuckles out, adjusting his position.
"Hm? Oh- Scott, you know I could never be tired of your voice.” You smile softly and yawn. It had been a long day of assignments, classes, and cleaning duty in the kitchens after all.
"Yeah, alright that may be true, but are you sure you're not focused on anything else?" He wraps an arm around you, your body is starting to feel even warmer, like a fuzzy type of warm. "I promise." Your gaze moves back to his flannel and a smile forms on your face.
"You know, if you really wanted to borrow it, you could've asked me in the first place." A small grin was forming on his face as he put the book down and slipped his flannel off, draping it over you. You feel your cheeks warm up in embarrassment but also as a way of showing your gratitude.
"It was obvious, wasn't it?" You bite your lip and rest your head on his shoulder, sighing softly. "You've been looking at me more than usual whenever I wear them. How much more obvious could you get?" He smirks and sighs, opening the book again and staring to read.
You couldn't tell what was more comforting in this moment, his voice as he read, his flannel around you, or maybe just him in general. Maybe it was all three. Either way, it was a nice feeling that got you even more all warm and fuzzy.
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samanthaa-leanne · 2 months
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Secret Marriage
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After a tough game all Kōtarō wanted to do was go home and relax. Being on the road for games could be exhausting. Today was no different, even though his team won in straight sets. He had been on the road for the last week and a half and all he wanted to do was lay in bed snuggled up with you and the kiddos. However, before he could do that he had to do his post-game interview. 
“And here comes the player of the night, Kōtarō Bokuto. Bokuto do you mind if we ask you a few questions?” The interviewer asked as Bokuto stopped in front of him. 
With a smile on his face, he answered, “Of course! Ask away!”
The interviewer began to ask their first questions but stopped midway through it when they noticed the ink on his ring finger. “When did you get that tattoo?” 
Bokuto was confused at first. Tattoo? He didn’t have any tattoos. He then followed the interviewer's gaze to his ring finger and laughed as the memory of him getting it came back. 
“Oh, this! I can’t wear my wedding ring when I play so I got this for when I’m on the court.” 
“Wait, you're married?” The interviewer asked confusion written all over their face. 
A moment of panic washed over Bokuto as he realized his mistake. Nobody knew that he was married. You guys had decided to keep it a secret so you could live a relatively normal life. “Oh fuck. My wife is going to murder me in front of our kids. They are both amazing by the way. My daughter is for sure going to be the best libero in women's volleyball one day and my son is going to be an even better ace than me.” Bokuto laughs as the interviewer stares at him like he just grew two heads. 
“How old are your kids?”
“They're both 6! They're twins. My wife and I have been together since high school. I couldn’t do half of the things I do without her by my side. She’s my biggest supporter and the love I have for her is overwhelming. She comes to all of my games. Sometimes she brings the kids, but most of the time it’s just her cheering me on in the crowd. I guess nobody has noticed her since nobody knew about us.” Bokuto says with a chuckle. 
“Well, that sure is something.” The interviewer says with a chuckle of their own. “Is she here today?”
Bokuto looks up at the crowd and notices you right away. He makes sure to make it look like he’s still looking as he silently asks if you want people to know who you are. You give him a slight nod as you shake your head at him with a laugh. 
“She’s right there.” He says as he points to you, the interviewer and the cameraman following his finger. You give a small wave to the camera, your other hand coming up to rub your very pregnant belly. 
“Are you guys expecting?” The interviewer asks, turning his attention back to Bokuto. 
“Oh yeah! I guess I forgot about that too.” He answers with a chuckle, as he runs his fingers through his hair. 
You can’t help but laugh alongside Bokuto. He might be clueless but he’s the best husband you could have asked for. You end up making your way down to where he is and stand beside him as he finishes his interview. Bokuto holding your hand through the whole thing. As you looked up at him you couldn’t help but fall even more in love with him.
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muffinbeliever · 6 months
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Jacob black for prompt 12 would be appreciated. (fem reader)
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Forever Yours
The reader spots Jacob and Bella walking along the shores of La Push, and she is reminded of everything that had happened, before she is faced with a choice of what could be.
Pairing: Jacob Black x Reader
Word Count: 1809
Warnings: just like sad stuff i guess... not much resolution but a little resolution at the end ?
A/N: wow. this is actually so terrible. i have no words as to how long it took me to crank this out and im actually really disappointed in myself and i would like to formally apologize to everyone, especially @sugaraddict301 who has been waiting patiently for MONTHS and now its just a terrible one shot that i could barely eke out but it has been weighing on my mind particularly heavily these past couple of days so i just knocked something out
Masterlist
The cool ocean breeze swept your hair across your face, leaving you sputtering like a fool. You wrapped the ends of your blanket tighter around your body, as the sounds of the waves crashing accompanied your friends giggles beside you. 
It was cloudy, but that didn’t stop your friends from dragging you out of the house and to La Push. None of you surfed, and it was definitely too cold to swim, but you were enjoying the time out with your friends, cracking jokes and complaining about classes. At least you had been, until two figures walking together along the shore caught your eye. 
It was like your heart had been crushed, and all of the air left your lungs. 
He was with her. 
Jacob Black— your first friend, first love, and first heartbreak. 
You got up from where you were sitting— no longer feeling like hanging out with your friends— and began walking alongside the shore, in the opposite direction of them. Eventually, you found a large rock, one that you could sit on and observe the depths of the water.
Of course, you were ecstatic to hear of her return to the rainy town, having fond memories of braiding hair and sleepovers, but along with the happiness came bits of grief. You knew of the feelings that lingered between her and Jacob, your ex-boyfriend never fully getting over the dark-haired girl.
You had read that first loves shine the brightest and hurt the worst, which you unfortunately found out the hard way. The two of you grew up together, tugging on each other’s hair in simple, childish bouts of teasing. It was unclear when romantic feelings for your friend developed, but one day you were suddenly hit by waves of emotion, and you found yourself on a rapidly-moving train with no stop in sight. 
It wasn’t until you were 14 that you began to act on these feelings, after sensing that Jacob had felt the same. Dating Jacob was like breathing— it never took much effort nor thought, it simply existed. Your routines didn’t change much; you still hung out for the majority of the week, enjoying the time spent together. 
Some days you would watch movies for hours, cuddling on the couch in your living room, throwing out corny quips and references that only the two of you understood. Other days, you would simply coexist, working side-by-side but separately. And that was okay too. 
For three years, you followed this routine. It was simple, and it worked. It was filled with love and adoration but also immense respect and joy. Until one night, Jacob revealed something to you, completely catching you off guard and changing the course of your relationship for the worse. 
“Jake,” you started as the laugh track of the sit-com you were watching accompanied in the background. 
“Hmm?” He asked, and you felt the reverberation from his chest through your body.
It was Saturday, and the two of you were intent on spending the day inside, away from the bitter cold of Forks winters. You had finished your homework last night, in anticipation of cuddling up with your boyfriend for hours on the couch. You were both laying on the couch, his arms wrapped around your waist pulling you close against his body.
“Did you ever think we would end up together?” You asked. 
It was not an investigative inquiry, but rather just a random question that popped into your mind. You twisted your head back, looking at him with a smile that fell when you saw his eyes clouded with a haunted look. 
“Babe?” You asked, tentatively. And he blinked quickly, snapping out of his trance. By this point, worry filled your heart, and it beat fervently against your chest. You felt your hands grow clammy with sweat, and you began to pull away from his warm embrace. 
“I, uh… If I’m going to be completely honest,” he started, and your breath hitched, a deep pit in your stomach forming. You mentally cursed yourself, cursing your curiosity and inability to simply leave things be. 
“I had the biggest crush on Isabella Swan when we were younger. I don’t know what it was, but something about her just drew me in,” he continued. 
You and Bella Swan used to be close friends, being the same age and all. But after she stopped visiting Forks for summer and winter break, the two of you began to drift apart, no longer writing each other letters filled with life updates. In your later teens, as life began to pick up, you had almost forgotten about her completely— the thought of her, merely a childhood memory.
Your heart clenched, and you stirred up the courage to ask the first question on your mind— the most important question. 
“If she didn’t move away, would you still be with me?” You weren’t sure if you wanted to know the answer, but you needed to. 
“I don’t know,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck in nervousness. 
Your stomach dropped, and you pulled away further, no longer wanting to be near him. 
“Oh,” you said. And that was all you could say.
“No, baby, it’s not like that though. I love you, you know I love you. Who cares about the ‘what ifs’? Who cares about the hypotheticals? We’re together now, and that is all that matters to me. You matter.” 
You could tell he was trying his hardest to reassure you, to backtrack and make up for his mistake, and you knew that it was partially your fault for backing him into a corner, but the damage was done. 
What was said could not be unsaid, and that is the nature of living. 
That night was a low point in your relationship— in your life. It was the turning point of the pure, uncomplicated love that you had for Jacob. It created friction between you two, even though you desperately tried for it not to. You both did. At one point, it was too much to bear, and you let go. You walked away from him. 
You were unsure as to how long you were sitting there, but you heard soft footfalls in the sand, alerting your senses to a presence behind you. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who it was. 
“I should’ve known better than to come here,” you said, tears filling your eyes, still focused on the shore. 
You didn’t want to look at him. 
It was hard to speak, the huge lump in your throat creating a crack in your voice along with the stinging of tears. At that moment, you embraced the cliche. Childhood loves never fully died, and now, you could attest to that based on first-hand experience. 
“Y/N,” Jacob started, with a sad smile. “You’re always welcome here, you know that. Even though we may not be together anymore, the Rez is your home too.” 
You shook your head in defiance, and finally you found yourself staring into his dark eyes, ones that were once filled with love and happiness for you. 
“No, I can’t keep coming here. I think we should stay away from each other, Jacob.” 
His eyes softened with sadness, and you swore you saw heartbreak in his eyes. But maybe you were just projecting. 
“You don’t want to see me anymore?”
“I…” you sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want to see you. It’s that I can’t. I can’t move on from you if I don’t step away now.” 
His eyes crinkled in confusion and his head tilted, reminding you of a kicked dog that simply did not understand the complexities of life. 
“What changed? We still would see each other after we broke up. It was hard at times, sure, but I think that’s natural.” 
Your heart was heavy, and the tears spilled over as you came to terms with bearing your heart to him one last time. One more time and then never again. 
“I can’t stand looking at the two of you together, knowing that used to be us. I miss us. I miss the way we were together. And I know that you don’t feel the same, and that’s okay. I want you to know that I’m okay with that. I understand. I just don’t think this is healthy for me… for either of us,” you stated with finality, truth ringing in your voice. 
“You don’t think I miss you? Miss us?” He whispered, and you shook your head. 
“I know you don’t, Jacob. I see the way you look at her, and you never looked at me that way,” your breath shook as you attempted to take a calm inhale. “And like I said, that’s okay. I’m okay. I just can’t keep hurting myself by staying.” 
Jacob was quiet, and you waited with baited breath to hear his response. He looked away, his eyes towards the shore where the waves crashed upon the black sand. Sand that you would often roll around in together on the rare sunny days, laughing and splashing your time away. 
“You’re wrong,” he stated, still staring at the murky water. 
“I did… look at you like that. I still look at you like that. You just didn’t see it. You never do. You never look at me anymore, and it kills me to know that it’s my fault. I lost you. I should’ve held onto you when I had the chance— I should’ve fought harder for you. I lay in bed, thinking about you. About all the time we spent together, and how I would trade anything in the world to get those moments back. To get you back. And I am so sorry, Y/N, for not telling you. For not reassuring you that it’s you I want. Not her. Not anymore. Not for a long time.”
It was your turn to remain quiet, unsure of what to say, of what could be said. 
You found yourself in tears, silently sobbing on the rock that numbed your body, or so you had tried to convince yourself. That it was the rock that did it. And not the boy next to you. 
He pulled you in a comforting embrace, not unlike the ones he would pull you into when you were together. He rested his chin on top of your head, cradling you close to his chest. 
“I love you,” he whispered, barely heard over the crashing of the waves.
“I love you, too,” you whispered back, muffled by the fabric of his cotton black t-shirt.
You were unsure as to what this meant for the future, for the next steps of your relationship. But you knew that the pieces of your heart were beginning to be stitched back together, slowly, but surely. 
And that was all the reassurance you needed in that moment. 
Taglist: @final-girl96 @garfieldsladybird @britty443 @cevans-winchester @oh-kurva
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cinnamongorll · 1 month
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a fragile line - chapter 29
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Read on ao3! (135k words) | previous chapter | masterlist
Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC
Series tags: extreme slow burn, age gap, older man/younger woman, protective joel, jealous joel, hurt/comfort, pov third person, mutual pining, angst, sexual tension, friends to lovers, canon-typical violence, feral joel, parental abuse, eventual smut.
Series synopsis: three years ago, Juliet escaped her father's religious survivor camp, ending up in the Boston QZ. Juliet created a life for herself in Boston, desperate to forget the trauma of her upbringing. One day, Juliet arrives home to find a mysterious letter which forces her to return to her home town. Juliet can't travel the harsh post-apocalyptic landscape alone, so she enlists the help of the grumpy and, at times, frightening man she works alongside: Joel Miller.
Word count: 10.7K
Chapter 29
Juliet's POV
One Month Later:
“But she lives right across from you”
“I know” 
“If you don’t do it, I’ll have to walk all the way over there and back… and it’s snowing! What if I hurt myself?” 
“That’s not the argument you want to me makeright now.” 
“Juliet, please.”
“Fine.”
“Excellent.” 
Charlotte smirked as she handed over the woven box filled to the brim with a variety of bottled herbal remedies. They rattled as Juliet took the weight in her arms and her scowl grew deeper. 
“Tell her these ones are to help with the vomiting,” Charlotte reached into the box and ran her fingertips over a couple glass rims, “and these are vitamins to help keep her strength up.”
Despite her mild annoyance, Juliet nodded and promised that she would relay the message to Maria. There really wasn’t much she wouldn’t do for Charlotte, even if delivering her remedies meant directly interacting with the town’s leader.
The ice between Juliet and Maria had never truly thawed from their first conversation almost two months ago now. They rarely saw each other, only subtle nods of acknowledgement across the street or quick conversations about patrol, and Juliet preferred it that way. 
Tommy, though, Juliet had grown quite fond of. He would always greet her with a smile on his face and some joke about her performance on patrol. Juliet would roll her eyes and demand to know how many times he would bring up that one time she fell off her horse. 
Maria announced her pregnancy only a couple weeks ago. Juliet tried to congratulate Tommy but his smile grew strained and his eyes darted away from her towards a hulking figure she chose to ignore. Juliet tried not to question it; she realised a while ago that she would never really understand the inner workings of the Miller brothers’ minds, so she stopped trying… and she didn’t bring up Maria’s pregnancy again. 
Now, thanks to Charlotte’s repulsion of cold weather and her never ending list of errands, Juliet was forced to face Maria and the stiff tension which lingered behind their every interaction.
“Thanks, by the way,” Charlotte said with a wink. 
“Yeah, yeah,” Juliet scoffed as she turned and headed towards the door. Charlotte beat her to it and pulled open the clinic door, shivering slightly as the cold air battled with the stifling heat of the fire. 
With a thin smile, Juliet tightened her hold on her box and stepped outside. It was snowing, just as Charlotte had predicted, and each flake added to the already solid sweeping of pure white which had painted Jackson for several weeks now. 
Juliet hunched her shoulders together to push the collar of Joel’s jacket higher on her neck and started walking down the porch steps, moving the box out of her line of sight to watch her feet on the slippery stairs. 
“See you tonight?” Charlotte called after her. 
Juliet paused and turned slowly. Charlotte stood with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyebrows raised. 
Tonight.
The dance. 
The dance that she couldn’t even pretend to have forgotten about, when every inch of Jackson was papered with handmade flyers advertising the big event. 
“Don’t even think about not goin,” Charlotte warned, standing straighter. “You promised me you’d go.”
Damnit, she had promised. 
“I’ll be there,” Juliet assured her, projecting some cheerfulness into her voice to ease the lines on Charlotte’s forehead. 
“Great!” Charlotte practically sang. “See you at 7?” 
Juliet nodded and forced a smile on her face. 
“You better head back in, you’ll catch a cold,” she cautioned evasively, looking Charlotte up and down. 
Her friend rolled her eyes. “You’re not gettin out of this, I’ll come and find you if you’re not there for 7.” 
Juliet knew she wasn’t kidding. 
“I know,” she laughed, then lifted two fingers off the box in a wave goodbye before Charlotte decided to pull out a pen and asked her to sign a contract declaring her attendance at the dance. 
“Oh! And don’t forget to look for those vhs tapes!” Charlotte called after Juliet as she began to make her way down the porch steps, heading out onto the street. 
Charlotte had been searching for a tape of some old movie she used to watch when she was younger, she was desperate to show it at a movie afternoon. ‘Pretty in Pink’ Juliet recalled.  Tommy was convinced that there was a box of tapes in Juliet’s house and so another task was thrust upon her. 
Juliet turned and nodded very dramatically at Charlotte. “First thing tomorrow, I promise!” she shouted back then sped up to avoid another request. The snow was getting heavier and Juliet secretly hoped that it would get so bad that they might have to cancel the dance. 
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go… 
Okay, she just didn’t want to go. 
For many reasons… one being the confirmed attendance of the man she’d managed to avoid all contact with for the past month. 
She’d overheard Tommy mention the other day that he’d convinced Joel to come along and Juliet almost tripped over her own feet. 
The sharp bite of his rejection still burned, but the hole in her chest was starting to heal over. It was little things at first: like when she stopped waking up in the middle of the night looking for him, then when her first thought in the morning drifted to something other than him, and finally when she walked past his house and didn’t hasten her footsteps, Juliet knew that scar tissue was forming. 
But this all relied on not seeing him, because when she did… when Juliet caught sight of him in the stables or grabbing some food in the mess hall… she swore that she was back outside her house listening to him say those words and brush off everything they had built together. 
He made her feel like a little girl who’d gotten attached to someone she shouldn’t have. 
He made her feel stupid. 
He made her feel like every look and every touch between them meant nothing. 
And all of that rushed to the surface when she looked at his face. His hard, angry and devastatingly handsome face. 
Tonight, at the dance, she couldn’t avoid him. She’d have to look into those hollow eyes and pretend that he hadn’t meant the entire world to her only two months ago. 
Juliet blinked away the threat of tears and started walking quicker. 
Walking past the mess hall, Juliet watched a man on a ladder attempt to fix one of the broken twinkly lights on a large evergreen tree outside. 
It was a strange sight, the lengths Jackson’s residents went to to celebrate Christmas. 
Juliet had never known it to be a joyous occasion.  
With her father, Christmas had only ever been a sad, cold affair with stiff, awkward gatherings and blurred lines. 
There was no singing, no laughter, no trees, no lights. Her father’s community would instead join together for a reading in the community centre. Juliet would sit in the front row with her hands clasped on her lap, terrified to make even a single movement, lest she show that she wasn’t deserving of dinner. 
Christmas was the only time of the year her father drank. After their meal, he would ask for whatever alcohol they could spare to be passed around the men of the community and every woman would straighten their spines. 
Juliet tried her best to bury her memories of those Christmas nights, leaving behind only a murky recollection of one of her father’s men pushing her up against a wall and every muscle in her body stiffening. 
The feeling of hot, sweaty hands pushing her further into the wall, holding her steady as he nudged his face into her neck and his lips spread across her collarbone. Juliet always held her breath, hoping that maybe she’d pass out before his hands drifted further. 
Juliet tried to close her eyes, she always did, but the sight of her father watching them over the man’s shoulder was too vividly sickening to ignore.
Every year he allowed his men to have a taste of her… like she was a delicately wrapped present just waiting for their hungry hands to rip apart. 
But it was only ever a taste. 
When their fingers would drift lower and lower, starting to pull up her skirt, that’s when her father would walk over and place his strong hand on the man’s shoulder. Declaring his ownership. 
Christmas always left a bitter taste in her mouth. 
“Juliet?” 
Matt’s voice was drowned out by the piercing sound of glass bottles rattling against each other. Juliet gasped and blinked up at her patrol partner’s concerned face as he reached out to stabilise the box in her arms. 
“Shit, sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going,” Juliet stuttered. 
“Are you okay?” he asked with hunched eyebrows and a serious gaze.
Juliet looked down at her box and pulled it closer to her chest, then tilted her chin back up to meet Matt’s eyes.
“Yeah, I’m good!” she replied, injecting false cheer into her voice.
“But you’re crying?” Matt pointed out quietly as his hand gently curved around her damp cheek. 
“Oh,” she gasped, embarrassed, “must be the cold air.” 
Matt gave her a look that said he didn’t even remotely believe her but he knew her well enough not to push the issue. Juliet knew what she looked like in that moment: red rimmed eyes and a haunted expression. 
With one last swipe of his thumb under her eyes, Matt removed his hand and brought it slowly back to his side. 
“Where you going with all that?” he asked, pointing to the filled box in her arms.
“It’s for Maria, Charlotte asked me to - ” she paused as a cold shiver rippled across her back.
For a second, Juliet felt the sharp awareness of a gun trained on her and her body instantly stiffened.
But it wasn’t a gun, it was worse.
Joel stood on the porch of the mess hall, his large leather jacket hanging over one shoulder as though he was putting it on but stopped suddenly. He was still, so still that Juliet wondered if time had stopped. 
Her eyes washed over him despite her brain screaming at her to look away, but it was impossible when his dark eyes were focused on her like the sharp gaze of a hunter. 
Slowly, his eyes moved to the man beside her and Juliet watched as his fists curled and his jaw moved before he sharply looked away.
The second his eyes left her Juliet inhaled a deep breath and quickly returned her gaze to Matt, who stood looking down at her with confusion written all over his face.
“Sorry,” she coughed, “these are for Maria, I’m just heading over there now,” Juliet explained, lifting the box and cringing as the bottles rattled again. 
Matt watched her curiously for another second before his signature smile donned his face again.
“I’ll walk with you,” he decided and reached down to take the box out of Juliet’s hand, tucking it beneath one arm and pivoted to hover his other hand on the small of Juliet’s back.
Juliet didn’t look at the mess hall as they walked passed, not even when he felt that dangerous awareness spread over the back of her neck. She just focused on the crunch of snow beneath her feet and watched the clouds of breath hang in the air in front of them. 
Their conversation was easy, as it always was. 
Matt would recognise when Juliet’s mind drifted elsewhere and he would fill the space with chatter about his big plans for the week. And that day, the topic on his mind was the dance.
Juliet tried not to roll her eyes.
“So, are you coming?” he asked with a smirk. 
Juliet shot him a dark look. “I think Charlotte would have many creative ways of murdering me if I didn’t show up,” she explained. 
Matt’s laugh was warm and playful. “I wouldn’t put it past her.” 
Juliet’s mouth cracked a smile. 
They walked in silence for a while until they reached the turn off towards her street. Matt stopped in front of her and carefully passed the box back into Juliet’s arms.
“Save me a dance?” he asked with raised eyebrows. 
Juliet laughed. “Sure.”
Matt ran a hand through his hair and stepped backwards. “Don’t sound too excited, Jules,” he said with a wink, and then he was gone, heading in the other direction with his hands in his pockets. 
Juliet let out a slow breath and closed her eyes. Matt’s presence was a welcome distraction but the memory of her father lay steady on her shoulders, weighing her down. 
He was never far from her mind, even on her good days. Charlotte spoke to her about ‘closure’,  allowing herself to face what her father did to her and move past it. But that sounded like a child’s fantasy, as if she could actually ever rid herself from his memory. As if she could ever untangle herself from him. 
His initials were burned into her skin but his ghost had sunk deeper into her bones, burrowing himself there and haunting her every movement. 
Closure was a privilege not offered to her. 
She’d had enough conversations with Charlotte to recognise that he was her abuser, although Juliet still struggled to voice the term. 
He was her father, part of her DNA. How could she ever truly rid herself of him? 
Juliet had tried taking herself back to that final night in the basement before Joel had found her. She thought if she allowed herself to remember everything that had happened she might be able to work through it and rid herself of some of fear eating away at her, but there were still gaps in her memory; large stretches of blackness behind her eyes where more horrors were hidden.
So, no, she wasn’t excited for the dance, or Christmas, or anything really. 
Juliet was still drowning beneath the memory of her father and her only lifeline had abandoned her. 
……………………………….
Charlotte’s box of remedies sat on Maria’s porch as Juliet knocked on the door for the third time. 
Her knuckles struck the wood but there was still no answer. 
She glanced behind her then her gaze dropped to the handle and the impulsive, impatient part of Juliet reached for the metal knob and turned.
It opened. 
Juliet paused, unsure what to do. Maybe Maria was sleeping or just hadn’t heard the door… maybe she should sit in the box in the house then leave. 
Juliet bent and lifted the box into her arms again and stepped into the house. It was almost an exact replica of the layout of her and Ethan’s and her feet took her into the living room before she could stop herself. A part of her was curious about how the town’s leader lived. 
The room was well decorated with soft throws over the couches and trinkets on almost every surface. Juliet kept walking, slowly taking in all of the details around her. 
After a moment, she spotted what looked like a small chalkboard over the fireplace and her curiosity took her there immediately. There, written on the black surface were two names:
Kevin 4/3/00 - 9/29/03
Sarah 7/20/89 - 9/27/03
A sinking feeling settled in Juliet’s gut. 
They must be Maria’s kids… Joel had never mentioned being an uncle.
God, they were so young when they died. Juliet couldn’t even imagine the trauma that would leave on a person, what might happen to their perception of this already very dark world. 
“Juliet?” 
Her head whipped around to find Maria standing in the entrance to the kitchen, gripping a pair of scissors tightly in her hands. 
“Sorry, the door was open…” Juliet trailed off, realising now how strange it was that she just walked right in. 
Maria raised her eyebrows. “What’s this?” she asked, using the scissors to point towards the box in Juliet’s arms. 
“Remedies,” she answered quickly, “from Charlotte.” 
Maria’s face instantly softened and she tucked her scissors into her back pocket. 
“Thanks,” she murmured as Juliet passed the box to her and relayed Charlotte’s message. 
Once the box had left her hands, Juliet stepped backwards, feeling the awkwardness that lay thick between them. It was obvious Maria felt the same. 
“Well, I better get going,” Juliet said quietly, already turning towards the door. 
“Wait.” 
She stopped, tilting her head back around to the town’s leader. Maria looked her up and down. 
“Who’s been cutting your hair?” she asked while adjusting the box in her arms. 
Juliet’s eyebrows furrowed and her chin dipped to look at her dark brown hair falling several inches below her breasts. 
“No one,” she replied, sounding more like a question, as she self-consciously tugged on the ends of her hair. 
A smile approached the corner of Maria’s mouth before she placed the box on the coffee table and pulled the scissors from her pocket, waving them slightly. 
“No,” Juliet argued, “I couldn’t ask you - “
“It’s no problem,” Maria replied in that hard, matter of fact tone of her’s. 
Before Juliet could reply, Maria had already turned and walked into the kitchen. 
Juliet didn’t really have an option but to follow.
………………………….
Maria’s kitchen was a lot nicer than her and Ethan’s. 
Juliet sat on a wooden chair with a towel draped over her shoulders, flinching as Maria sprayed her hair with water. 
“Just a trim or are you looking for a chop?” Maria asked suddenly, startling Juliet who had gotten used to the silence between them. 
She wasn’t sure what to say. She wasn’t even sure when the last time she had her hair cut was. It must have been when she had first arrived in the QZ when Juliet’s hair was so coated in blood and dirt that she ended up taking her blunt knife to it. 
Maria’s scissors looked a lot sharper. 
Juliet thought about her question and about everything that she’d been through since that last haircut. 
Her hair had grown as she worked those years with Joel, and longer as she travelled the country with him. Now all she had to show for it was the length of her dark brown waves…
Juliet didn’t want to carry that weight anymore. 
“A chop,” she answered finally. 
Maria’s surprisingly skilled fingers began to separate parts of her length and when the first inch of hair fell to the floor next to her feet, Juliet breathed a sigh of relief. 
After another few inches hit the floor, Maria broke the silence:
“You were looking at the memorial Tommy made?” she asked. 
Juliet stilled the nervous tapping of her foot and swallowed awkwardly. 
“I’m really sorry about your kids,” Juliet murmured as she wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans, feeling her heart grow heavy for the woman who stood behind her.
“It’s okay,” Maria replied, in her usual even tone, “and kid… just Kevin.” 
Another apology almost slid from Juliet’s mouth but her confusion held her tongue. She hadn’t realised that Tommy was once a father -
“Sarah was Joel’s daughter.” 
Juliet’s breath caught in her throat. 
Joel had a child? A child who died? 
Every interaction they’d ever had, every cold word from his mouth, and every sad look in his eyes flew through Juliet’s mind. Her heart had dropped to her stomach and a cold chill ran down her spine. 
She wasn’t sure how to process this information.
He never said anything. Never even hinted at the loss he’d suffered. But as the realisation washed over her, Juliet realised that he had. It was written all over his face; in the hard line between his eyebrows; in the deep grooves around his mouth, echoing a memory of a time when laughter came easily to him. 
“Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything…” Maria said hesitantly. 
“No,” Juliet heard herself say, “thanks for telling me.” 
Her heart ached for Joel and there was nowhere to put the feelings inside her chest. She couldn’t go to him, she couldn’t talk to him about it. 
Juliet was left to reevaluate everything she knew about Joel as inches upon inches of her hair continued to fall on the floor around her feet.
…………………..
Juliet’s steps were sudden and heavy as she ran up the stairs to her bedroom. It was strange, she thought, not feeling the weight of the last few years swinging around her face. 
Juliet’s hair now fell just below her shoulders and she wasn’t sure how to feel about it. When she reached her room, she headed straight for the floor length mirror balancing on the wall near her window. Her chin tilted upwards as she admired the way her hair moved.
This was a good thing, she decided. A new start. 
Maybe, when she went for her next haircut, there wouldn’t be as much baggage to remove. 
Her heartbeat quickened as she turned towards her very vacant closet, remembering the dance that rapidly approached and her complete lack of an outfit. 
Juliet had been at Maria’s longer than she realised, and the sky was fading into a worrying dark blue as the minutes ticked by. 
Her fingers flicked between the hangers in her closet but her mind was elsewhere. 
Joel had lost his daughter. 
She couldn’t even imagine the pain.
Her grief for her father was a dark, guilt drenched lump in her throat that choked her whenever her mind drifted his way. 
Her grief wasn’t a byproduct of her love for him; it was an aftermath of her fear. 
Juliet didn’t miss her father. She was still afraid of him. 
But Juliet knew that Joel’s grief was different. It made sense now, why his protective instincts ran so deep, and why his eyes were black wells of sorrow and remorse. 
Joel’s grief for his daughter was a smouldering fire. It burned hot and, though its flames dwindled, it never went out. 
It made sense, that Joel had lost someone.
This whole time, when she witnessed the haunted look in his eyes, Juliet had assumed it was Tess. Maybe Joel regretted letting her go, maybe there was another woman who he still felt the loss of.
But it was deeper than that. 
Maria’s reveal was the final piece in the very complicated puzzle of Joel Miller. 
Joel was dark and messy and haunted. And, finally, Juliet understood why. 
Juliet unhooked a hanger from her wardrobe. On it was the only dress in her possession, one gifted to her from Charlotte. 
It was long, falling below her knees, and it hugged her body in a way that made Juliet’s cheeks flush. The straps were thin, barely holding the dress up. 
But the best part, in Juliet’s opinion, was the colour. It was a combination of various shades of dark red, all merged together.
It was perfect. 
Juliet slipped the dress on and walked back over to her mirror, reaching to tuck her shortened hair behind her ears.
She barely recognised herself, and the thought was a welcome one. 
The sky was black, and Juliet knew it was time to go. Charlotte’s threats were not to be taken lightly. 
Her steps down the stairs were softer, nervous even.
He would be there. At the dance. 
The hairs on her bare arms raised at the thought of Joel’s eyes finding her in this dress. Then she blinked suddenly, erasing the image in her mind.
No. Joel had hurt her. She couldn’t think of him that way anymore. 
Juliet shook her head and reached for her boots, lacing them up as she sat on the bottom step. 
Juliet’s feelings towards Joel were so tangled up, it was becoming impossible to unravel them all. And, now, finding out something so devastating about him just added another thread to the mess. 
She stood and walked towards the front door, where her jacket hung from a hook. Its dark green canvas material still smelled like him. Juliet had to stop herself from lifting it to her nose. 
It was worrying her that the thought of seeing Joel brought with it the feeling of butterflies in her stomach. Or were they moths? Churning around in the memory of the way Joel had once made her feel. 
As Juliet put her arms through the sleeves, and savoured the warmth it brought, she realised that slowly her anger towards Joel had begun to fade. 
He didn’t want her, and that hurt. But the bitterness within her had lessened. 
In its place, were recurring waves of sadness and disappointment. 
Joel didn’t want her, and it hurt; it left that deep, dark hole in her chest surrounded by a graveyard of misguided expectations. 
Joel didn’t want her. But she was still here. She was still surviving. 
Juliet would repeat those words at the dance, reminding herself that Joel didn’t have space in his haunted heart for her. And she would have to let him go. 
………………………………
The door creaked when she entered, but no one heard.
The mess hall had been entirely transformed. The seats were pushed to the side to make room for couples to dance. There were even more twinkly lights than usual, covering every wall. Candles covered every surface, and a band was set up on a makeshift stage, playing an upbeat song. 
Juliet let the door close behind her as she stood in awe, watching as people laughed and twirled and drank. 
“You made it,” Ethan beamed beside her, pulling Juliet in for a hug. 
Juliet circled her arms around Ehtan’s back, breathing a sigh of relief at his warm familiarity. 
“You’re okay,” he whispered in her ear and then pecked a kiss on her cheek before he let go, straightening his back and looking down at her. 
Juliet nodded, and a real smile started to twitch at the corners of her mouth. 
“Charlotte will be glad to see you, she almost had a search party out,” Ethan said teasingly, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows.
Juliet scoffed. “I’m like two minutes late.” 
Ethan laughed and lifted his eyes, nodding as another person approached.
“Your jacket, miss?” Matt requested in what Juliet had been told was a french accent, a very bad version of it she assumed, and raised his arm, waiting. 
Juliet’s eyes hit the ceiling as she shrugged off her coat and placed it in Matt’s arms. She felt her cheeks warm as the cold hit her bare arms but she straightened her back and tilted her chin up, making an effort to not be embarrassed. 
Matt blew out a low whistle as he tugged her jacket under his arm. 
“You cut your hair,” Ethan breathed, lifting a hand to tug at the chopped length.
“Yeah,” she replied, darting her eyes between her two friends, “just felt like a change.” 
“You look beautiful,” Matt said roughly after a long moment. 
Ethan cut Matt a sharp look and tilted his head towards the sea of people gathered around the tables. “Come on,” he urged. 
Juliet looked up at Matt who gave her a wink and a teasing smile, then settled his free hand on the small of her back and led her through the crowd of people. 
“You’re here!” Charlotte screamed into Juliet’s ear as she pulled her in for a hug. “Your hair! And that dress! I was right, it looks amazing on you.”
Juliet felt her cheeks redden even more and she pulled back from the hug, allowing her eyes to drift down Charlotte’s outfit. 
“You look gorgeous,” she told her friend earnestly. 
Soon, the four of them settled down at a table with drinks in their hands. Juliet winced slightly as she tipped the whiskey to her lips and felt it burn as it went down her throat. It wasn’t the taste that bothered her, more the memory of it. 
Juliet couldn’t help it, after a moment she began to drift away from the conversation as her eyes searched for familiar broad shoulders and grey speckled brown hair. 
She convinced herself she wasn’t disappointed when there was no sign of him. It was a relief she felt, of course. 
Juliet’s focus returned to the table just in time for Matt to share another embarrassing patrol story. 
“I told her not to go in, but she did it anyway,” Matt explained, raising his hands as his mouth stretched further to accommodate his beaming smile. 
Juliet covered her mouth as Charlotte and Ethan’s eyes swung her way. 
“Admit it,” she demanded, turning back to face Matt, “you were just scared.” 
He barked out a laugh and took another long sip of his whiskey. “If that’s true, what about that -”
Matt was cut off by Charlotte’s excited scream. 
“I love this song!” she screeched, reaching for Ethan’s hand and dragging him to his feet, “we have to go dance.” 
Charlotte led Ethan to the dancefloor, and Juliet watched as their fingers quietly interlaced in the space between them. 
When her gaze returned to Matt, he was looking at her with a curious expression but chose not to voice his thoughts. 
If Charlotte and Ethan had something between them, Juliet was happy for them. She left her feelings for Ethan behind a long time ago, and their friendship had transformed over the last couple months; becoming more mature and grounded on something other than their mutual fear. 
“Wanna join them?” Matt asked, nudging his head in the direction of the couples dancing. 
Juliet was ready to shake her head but the look in his eyes was so hopeful that she couldn’t bring herself to say no. 
Instead, Juliet reached for her glass and swallowed the remainder of whiskey, then nodded sharply and rose from her seat. 
Matt laughed in response, reaching suddenly for her hand as they made their way to the floor. The music had settled slightly, it was smoother, slower and she watched as the couples around them began to sway. 
Matt looked down at her, sweeping his gaze all the way down her dress and back up to meet her eyes. Then his hand wrapped around her middle and his fingers spread out across her back. In one sudden movement, he pushed and their chests were flush and his other hand was entwined with her own. 
Juliet’s heart started to race. This was unexpected, she hadn’t been this close to someone since…
Thankfully, the alcohol drowned out most of her nerves and Juliet pushed away all traitorous. 
As they moved to the music, Juliet’s chin tipped up to admire the lights hanging above them. They looked like stars falling above their heads, and Juliet noticed the small reflections in Matt’s eyes. 
Matt’s warm expression quickly shifted as his eyes latched onto something behind her, his eyebrows began to furrow and he tightened the hold on her hand. Then slowly, he bent to whisper in her ear.
“What’s got into him?” he murmured. 
Juliet knew who it was before she turned her head. There was that awareness on the back of her neck again, warning her that something dangerous, someone dangerous, was watching her.
Still, her head swung with such speed her hair whipped around her. 
There, leaning against the bar, was Joel. 
The first thing Juliet noticed was his green shirt, and the few buttons open at the top. 
The second thing she noticed was the murderous intention in his eyes.
He watched her like a serial killer stalking his next victim. His eyes didn’t stray from her face, not even as Matt tapped her cheek to pull her attention back to him. 
Juliet was caught. 
And the wound in her chest poured open again.
If he didn’t care, if he didn’t want to be with her… Why look at her that way? Why demand her attention? 
“Juliet? Are you okay?” Matt asked, concern seeping into his voice.
“Yes,” she answered quickly, finally pulling her attention away from the man who was still watching her. 
“Yeah I have no idea what’s up with him,” she laughed nervously, settling her hand back into Matt’s. 
Matt looked back over at Joel then down at Juliet. “He looks like he’s gonna kill someone,” Matt said with a shocked laugh. 
Juliet’s responding giggle was a little too high to be believable. But, again, Matt was too nice to ask her about it. 
As the next song played, and they continued to dance, Juliet struggled to ignore Joel’s presence.
And she felt that anger start to churn in her gut again. 
“Sorry, I’ll just be a minute,” Juliet apologised to Matt in a voice that sounded very far away, unlatching their fingers as she began to march across the dancefloor to the man simmering at the bar. 
 Her footsteps faltered as she approached him, but Juliet kept her chin up, urging herself not to be intimidated by the rage in his eyes or the way he towered over her.
Within seconds Juliet stood in front of Joel Miller for the first time in a month.
She underestimated how much it would hurt.
His black eyes scanned every inch of her face with a feverish intensity. Juliet knew she had to say something before she lost her resolve.
She licked her lips and ignored the way Joel’s eyes followed her movement. 
“Is there a problem?” she demanded. 
Joel took a deep breath and the scowl on his face deepened as he crossed his arms over his chest. Juliet also ignored the way the material of his shirt stretched to accommodate the size of his biceps. 
“You cut your hair,” he said roughly, ignoring her question. 
Juliet’s fingers instantly reached to touch the blunt ends of her hair. 
“Is that why you’ve been staring at me?” she questioned, dropping her hand back to rest against her leg. 
Joel’s jaw shifted. “What are you doin’ with him?” he ground out, looking behind her before his eyes returned to her face. 
“Who? Matt?” she asked, confused. 
The smallest tilt of Joel’s was confirmation enough. 
“He’s my friend,” Juliet answered defensively, straightening her spine. 
Joel scoffed and reached a hand up to rub his jaw. 
“If that’s what you wanna call him,” he murmured under his breath as corners of his mouth curved into a sick smile.  
Rage shot through her, hot and fast. 
“What is it to you?” Juliet fumed. 
Joel’s expression hardened. 
“You need to be careful,” he warned, darkening his tone.
Juliet felt like she’d been slapped. Every interaction she’d had with Joel over the past two months had been strange, cryptic and insulting… and she was so sick of it. 
“Of what?,” she demanded, raising her hands in the hair, “of Matt?”
Joel said nothing; his silence was his answer. 
“Why?” Juliet urged, “because he might hurt me?” 
Her mouth took on a snarl. 
“I think I know who I should be careful of, Joel,” she seethed, breathlessly, “I think I know who might want to hurt me.”
Joel’s stone face flinched. 
Juliet stepped back, breathing heavy. She didn’t have anything left to say to him. 
It didn’t have to be like this between them. If Joel didn’t want her, they could have remained friends. But why did he have to keep pulling her back in, giving her signs that he might still feel something for her, only to stab her in the heart with his cruel comments time and time again? 
The music finally reached her ears again and Juliet wiped the tear from her cheek, moving to turn and return to her friend on the dancefloor and try to salvage the evening. 
But before she could take a step away from him, Joel’s strong fingers wrapped around her wrist, stilling all movements. 
Her face was turned away from him and she didn’t dare attempt to meet his eyes. So, Joel stepped forward until his front was flush with her back and dipped his head until his lips met her ear.
Juliet shivered as though the cold from outside had pushed through the walls. 
“Juliet,” he murmured against the shell of her ear. 
Her eyes closed as another tear leaked out. 
“I was wrong,” Joel whispered and every cell in Juliet’s body set alight. 
She gasped, waiting for him to say more… 
“Juliet, is everything okay here?” Matt’s voice was like a bucket of cold water thrown over her head. She wrenched away from Joel, pulling her arm free from him. 
“Everything’s fine,” she assured him, hoping he hadn’t noticed the crack in her voice.
Matt looked between them, unconvinced. 
Juliet reached for her friend’s hand, pointedly ignoring the feeling of Joel’s eyes on the back of her head. 
“I think Charlotte’s waving us over,” Juliet said quickly, pulling him in the direction of the dancefloor. 
The distance between her and Joel did nothing to slow her heartbeat or erase the sound of his words from her mind. 
“What was that about?” Matt asked when they finally stopped in the middle of the crowded floor. 
“Nothing,” she replied. Then before he could ask anymore questions, Juliet pulled him close and started moving to the music.
After a moment, Matt’s muscles relaxed and a smile returned to his face.
Juliet tried not to, but she turned and caught sight of Joel at the bar. He had one empty whiskey glass in front of him, and another one at his lips. 
She flinched as she heard that second glass hit the wooden surface of the bar with the force of Joel’s hand. 
…………………………
Hours later, the world had grown a little blurry. 
The four of them were back at the table, laughing over some joke that wouldn’t have been funny in the light of day. Juliet’s arm was slung over Charlotte’s shoulders as they watched Matt and Ethan arm wrestle. 
Juliet had drunk enough to dull the memory of Joel’s lips against her ear, and she had managed to continue the evening as normal, as though Joel hadn’t reignited some hope in her chest that was bound to cause her even more misery. 
The lights looked brighter overhead somehow, and Juliet’s chin kept tilting up to watch them flicker. 
In the corner of the hall, she heard a christmas carol being sung by a group of drunk men. For a quick second, the memory of Christmas with her father almost pulled her under… but then she looked in front of her, and watched as her friends began to join in. Their voices were loud and frighteningly out of tune, but they were joyful and they weren’t frightened. They were happy. 
Slowly, Juliet's quiet voice blended with theirs and a similar smile approached her face. She pulled Charlotte closer, and felt a strange rush of comfort flow through her. Maybe this was what it was like to have a family. 
When the song ended, everyone clapped and laughter rang throughout the hall. Juliet sat back against her seat with a true smile on her face.
Out of the corner of her eye, Juliet noticed Matt shift his chair closer to her and she felt his fingers brush across her hair. 
“You havin’ a good time?” he whispered in her ear.
Juliet turned to face him and their cheeks almost touched. Her breath caught in her throat. 
“Yeah, are you?” she choked out. 
He nodded against her hair, then he pulled back and gestured towards her empty glass. 
“Want another drink?” Matt asked. 
Juliet probably should have said no, she’d had more than enough. But looking around, it very much seemed like the night was still young. So, she smiled up at Matt and nodded. 
Matt winked back at her and told her he’d just be a minute as he lifted their empty glasses and left the table. 
Juliet leaned back in her chair and adjusted the straps of her dress, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. 
It wasn’t supposed to be like this between her and Matt. He’d always been flirty, yes, but Juliet had assumed it was just his personality. 
But under the christmas lights and the influence of alcohol, Juliet didn’t mind his casual touch and whispered words. 
Moments later, a woman’s scream cut through her thoughts.
Juliet’s head whipped around, and her view of the world tilted slightly. Her eyesight was diluted and she struggled to see what had caused a crowd to gather around the bar.
Juliet stood on shaky legs, readying herself to grab Charlotte and Ethan and run. 
Just as she turned to shout an order, Juliet spotted Tommy hauling someone away from the bar. 
It was Joel. 
His hair was drenched in sweat, and his curls were plastered to his head. Juliet’s mouth gaped in shock and she started moving, pushing through the crowd of people, desperate to see what had happened. 
But the blood on Joel’s knuckles told her more than enough. 
Matt crouched on the floor beside the bar with blood flooding from his nose. A woman passed him a towel and he held it to his face as his eyes closed in pain. 
Juliet’s ears were ringing in that high pitched sound. 
She should have crouched down with Matt, helped him clear the blood from his face, asked him what happened, and comforted him the best she could. 
But she didn’t. 
She couldn’t. 
Juliet turned before Matt caught sight of her in the crowd and she pushed against more people until she reached the exit of the mess hall, where Tommy had just dragged Joel seconds earlier. 
She didn’t even hear the sound of the door slamming against the wall as she kicked it open. The skin on her arms pebbled as soon as she stepped outside into the cold, but Juliet couldn’t feel it. 
Her head turned to find Joel slammed against the wall with Tommy’s hand on his chest. 
“Joel” Juliet shouted as she marched towards him. She didn’t even recognise her own voice. 
“Juliet?” 
Her name fell from Tommy’s lips and Joel’s eyes locked onto her. 
“Go back inside, I’ll be in in a second,” Tommy urged her, using his most commanding voice. 
Juliet could see the fear and worry in his eyes. Tommy loved his brother but knew that he couldn’t protect him from himself. 
“No,” she said loudly, “I need to speak with him.”
“Juliet this isn’t a good idea -”
“I’m not gonna hurt her,” Joel growled as he pushed against his brother. 
Tommy looked between them both. “You have two minutes.”
As soon as the door shut, Juliet launched herself at Joel. 
Her hands planted firmly on his shoulders and she pushed hard, backing him further into the wall behind him. 
The way his head rolled and the stink of his breath as it hit her nose told her that he was as drunk as her, drunker probably. 
“What the fuck was that?” she sneered. Juliet was breathless, fueled entirely by her own shock, confusion and anger. 
Joel said nothing, just started down at her with half open eyes. 
Juliet pushed him again, hard enough to hear a groan release from his lips. 
“Why would you do that!? He’s my friend, my patrol partner,” she demanded, the words spilling from her mouth in a breathless rush. “Why would you want to hurt him?” 
Joel straightened against the wall and Juliet’s hands fell to rest against his chest. The movement of her arms mirrored each breath he took. 
“He can’t protect you,” Joel murmured, tilting his chin down to meet her eyes. 
“What?” Juliet breathed. 
“On patrol,” he clarified, “he can’t protect you.” 
Juliet pulled back to search Joel’s face. Maybe this was some elaborate joke. She certainly felt like laughing.
But the look in his eyes told her that he was serious. And that just made her blood boil.
“I don’t need to be fucking protected Joel, don’t give me that,” she argued. 
Joel ground his jaw. His eyes were black holes, and Juliet couldn’t see what lurked in them. 
“Are you jealous?” Juliet whispered, terrified to even say the words. 
Joel pushed against her until Juliet was forced to take a step back. 
“Not fuckin’ jealous,” he seethed, then scoffed like it was a joke. “You’ve no idea what you’re talkin’ about.” 
Juliet flinched. 
“Then make me understand,” she begged, “because I can’t make sense of it anymore.”
Juliet paused, inhaling a deep breath and running a hand through her hair. 
“You don’t want to be with me,” she started, “I can understand that, that makes sense to me.” 
Her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears, but she kept going.
“But why won’t you just leave me alone? You keep haunting me Joel, I can’t escape you,” Juliet sobbed, using her trembling hand to wipe her nose. 
Joel was silent, his face was wiped clean of any emotion. 
“Now you’re punching my patrol partner? What makes you think -”
Juliet’s words caught in her throat as Joel’s hands gripped her shoulders and spun her around, pushing her against the same wall he was up against only seconds earlier.
He planted his hands against the wall on either side of her head, crowding her with his body. 
“You wanna know why?” he murmured. Joel’s face was so close his breath warmed her cheeks. 
She couldn’t help herself, Juliet’s chin dipped in a nod almost instantly. 
“Because if it came down to it and a fuckin’ clicker was backin’ you up against a wall like this,” Joel pushed his chest against hers and Juliet gasped, “he would save himself, he wouldn’t save you.” 
Juliet’s mouth opened and closed but no words came out. Joel’s breathing had grown heavier and his hands curled into fists against the wall. 
“And you would?” Juliet asked, her voice barely above a whisper. 
Joel let out a humourless laugh and moved one of his hands to cup her cheek. Juliet was always surprised by how gentle his touch could be. 
“I’d let myself die to save you,” he vowed roughly, then shook his head slightly and moved his thumb against her cheek, “and I’d let other people die too if it ensured your safety.”
“He couldn’t say the same,” Joel finished in a low voice, his voice a growl against her skin. 
Juliet’s heartbeat roared in her ears. 
“What -” Juliet started, pausing to catch her breath, “what did you mean earlier? What were you wrong about?” 
Joel’s pupils flared and he swallowed rough. 
Juliet watched what looked like a thousand emotions pass through his eyes, and she held her breath, waiting desperately for his answer. 
“I was wrong to think I could stay away from you,” Joel explained in a voice like gravel. 
Juliet swore her heart stopped. 
Joel’s head dipped until his forehead pressed against her own. “I thought I could let you go,” he continued, “I thought it’d be better for you.” 
So many questions lingered on her tongue, but Juliet stayed quiet. 
“I was wrong,” Joel stated. “I can’t stay away from you.” 
“And seein you go behind the fence and havin’ to stay behind, not knowin’ if you’re okay,” he paused, pulling back to search her eyes, “it’s killin’ me, not being near you.”
“Then don’t stay away,” Juliet urged, her voice desperate, “be with me.”
Joel’s thumb moved to her lips, tracing the edge of her mouth. 
Juliet had laid her heart out on the table. It was broken and scarred, but it could be his, if he wanted it to be. 
His head shook ever so slightly and Juliet began to tremble. 
“I want to, god I want to,” he murmured, staring intensely at her lips, “but I’m not good for you, baby.” 
“Stop,” Juliet said suddenly, pushing against him. 
“I’m not a child,” she nearly screamed, “I decide what’s good for me, not you.” 
“We live in a fucked up world, and I know how to survive it. So do you. I don’t need to be protected from it, and I definitely don’t need to be protected from you,” the words rushed from her and Juliet was sick of censoring herself. “These past couple months I’ve been so angry at you, so angry, because you’ve taken my choice away. You decided that we shouldn't be together. If I want to be with you then that is my decision.”
Juliet’s heart beat so fast she was sure Joel could hear it. 
He stood a couple steps away, looking down at her with his mouth agape. 
Then suddenly, he took a step forward, and another one, until their bodies were flush again and his hands were on either side of her face. 
“I’m too old for you,” he cautioned. 
“I don’t care,” Juliet responded quickly, holding her ground. 
“I’m not who I was. I’m too slow and I -” 
“I don’t care,” she repeated, firmer this time. 
His eyes had grown glossy and Juliet pushed her heart towards him again, wondering if he’d take it this time. 
“You have no idea what you do to me,” he nearly growled. 
“Show me,” she whispered, then held her breath. 
Joel’s mouth was on hers not even a second later. His hand curled around the back of her neck as he tilted her face up to meet his. 
Juliet responded instantly, gripping his shirt with her fingers, moaning into his open mouth, trembling under his touch.
“You’re mine,” he murmured against her skin when his lips moved to her neck. “Not lettin’ you go again,” Joel vowed. 
She pulled harder against his shirt, needing him closer. Joel must have felt the same because his hands slid down to her waist and his fingers curled against her, tugging at the fabric of her dress. 
“So goddamn beautiful,” he growled in her ear when his hands found the end of the dress and feverishly began to climb up her thigh. 
Joel’s lips suddenly wrenched from her skin when the door to the mess hall opened and a group of people spilled out, laughing and singing. 
Joel gripped Juliet’s arm and pulled her into a dark corner, away from the lights in the street. 
A bucket of cold water had been thrown over them, but Joel didn’t look regretful. He looked down at Juliet like he was seeing her for the first time. His eyes were warm and hopeful. 
A cold wind blew around them and Juliet shivered, rubbing her arms. 
“Where’s your jacket?” Joel demanded, instantly reaching to shelter her from the cold. 
“Inside,” she murmured against his chest. 
Joel groaned. “If I go back in there just now, think Tommy might just throw me out.” 
“Well, you did punch someone,” Juliet reminded him, and cringed as she remembered the look on Matt’s face. A fierce ball of guilt grew in her chest. 
Joel pulled back to give her a dark look, then he bent and tucked his arms under her legs, hauling her to his chest. 
“Hey!” she screeched.
“We better get you home then, before you freeze to death,” Joel deadpanned as he carried Juliet round the corner and onto the mainstreet, heading for their street. 
“This is completely unnecessary,” she argued, “I can walk.” 
Joel ignored her. Instead, choosing to tuck her closer to his chest. 
The lights that covered the mainstreet were gorgeous against the night sky, but Juliet couldn’t keep her eyes off Joel as he carried her all the way home, not even breaking a sweat. 
When her feet hit the ground, they were standing on her porch. Juliet looked up at him, disappointed that they weren’t at his. She didn’t even want to spend a night apart. 
“Don’t,” Joel whispered against the side of her head. “We’re gonna do this the right way.” 
Juliet rolled her eyes. “That’s not fair,” she groaned. 
“Get inside,” he ordered, “put a fire on, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 
Juliet watched him for a second, hoping he’d change his mind and throw her over his shoulder and they could resume what started on his couch almost two months ago. 
But no, Joel was being serious. 
Before she could stop herself, Juliet stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips. She felt his hands curl into fists by his side as he attempted to restrain himself from grabbing her. 
“Goodnight, Joel,” she whispered as she turned the handle to her house.
For the first time in a long time, Juliet left him without fear that it would be forever. 
……………………….
Her mind repeated her conversation with Joel as she unlaced her boots. With each movement of her fingers, Juliet’s smile grew. 
Joel wanted her. 
It wasn’t all in her head. 
Juliet climbed the stairs quickly, desperate to take off her dress and get into bed. As she lay in the dark she would replay every second of her kiss with Joel. 
But as soon as her foot hit the top step she remembered something. 
“Urghhhhh,” Juliet groaned as she dropped her head in her hands. 
She’d forgotten to look for Charlotte’s vhs tapes, and Juliet told her she’d have them to her in the morning. 
It was fine, Juliet knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway. 
For the next hour, as the alcohol faded from her bloodstream, Juliet searched high and low for the box of tapes Tommy had sworn were in his house. Sweat dampened her forehead and Juliet was growing tired. But she couldn’t disappoint Charlotte. 
As she walked along the downstairs hallway, Juliet realised there was one place she hadn’t checked: the basement. 
Her feet paused outside the door. 
Juliet had yet to step foot in the basement of her new home, terrified that it might in some way resemble her father’s. 
Time seemed to slow as her eyes traced the pattern on the door handle, and her mind debated what to do. 
She could wait for Ethan to get home and ask him to check. He would do it, of course. 
But Juliet was sick of living with this fear all the time. She wanted what Charlotte had spoken about. She wanted closure. Maybe walking into this perfectly safe basement would grant her that. Maybe she’d realise that her father was truly gone and that she didn’t have to be afraid of these things anymore. 
Despite her best intentions, Juliet’s fingers still trembled as she reached for the handle. She paused before the door opened, breathing deep as she attempted to calm her racing heartbeat. 
If she wanted to move on with her life, she had to do this. 
She needed closure. She wanted closure. 
Juliet’s wrist turned and the door popped open, releasing a draft of cold air that settled on her skin. 
She shivered but fought against the chill. 
Juliet squared her shoulders and walked through the doorway. Her fingers felt against the wall for a lightswitch but she realised soon that there wasn’t one. 
She nearly turned back. 
But Juliet knew that she had to do this. 
She tried not to count the steps as she walked down them. This wasn’t her father’s basement, she didn’t need to do that anymore. 
When she reached the bottom step, Juliet took a deep breath, ignoring the dust that settled on her tongue. 
The light from the hallway upstairs allowed her to see somewhat okay, and Juliet felt confident moving forward towards the row of boxes against the back wall. 
Her fear settled with every step she took, and Juliet was beginning to realise that she had no reason to be afraid. Maybe she was doing better than she thought. 
Juliet hit the floor before she even realised what had happened. 
Her hands flew out to protect her face, but her knee burned as she hit the hard ground.  
She must have tripped on something. 
But Juliet wasn’t worried about that. 
Her fall had sent adrenaline flowing through her body and, as she lay on the cold concrete ground, Juliet swore she saw her father standing over her. 
“No,” she whispered as she covered her eyes with her hands. 
When she opened them again, she wasn’t lying on the ground anymore. Instead, she sat in a metal chair in the middle of the room as a roaring fire illuminated the snarl on her father’s face. 
Her arms and legs were strapped down, she couldn’t move. 
This was the night her father died, before he had branded her, before Joel and Ethan had found her. 
This was the part of that night her brain wouldn’t let her remember…
Until now. 
Juliet struggled against her restraints as the memory choked her. 
“The world is not safe, Juliet ,” her father whispered, just inches from her face. Her name dropped from his lips like a curse. “There are demons, yes. Those infected monsters, with their peeling faces and sharp teeth. But there is worse out there. Hunters, raiders who crawl the country, killing and gutting people with no remorse -” 
Elijah cut himself off with a heavy sigh, then his words became frenzied. “I kept you here, I kept you safe from that. I kept you safe because you are my property, you are mine to protect. And I will not lose another daughter to -” 
He stopped, letting go of her wrists immediately. The blood rushed back into them and Juliet began to feel her fingers again, but that relief was the furthest thing from her mind. 
Another daughter? 
Her father staggered back another few steps, he looked horrified. His mask slipped right off his face as he said those words, now he struggled to put it back on. He wiped a hand over his forehead and when he brought it back down, the horror was gone. He was seething, his whole body moved with the force of his brutal breaths. 
“What do you mean, another daughter?” Juliet whispered, but her voice sounded far away. 
Her father flinched. Juliet was unsure if what she was experiencing was real, or a dream. Maybe she passed out when he hit her, maybe this was all in her imagination. Because her father’s bravado had never faltered, and yet here he stood before her, visibly flinching at her words. 
Elijah started to pace in front of Juliet’s chair, his steps brisk and savage. Juliet’s mind was still clouded, so it took her a few seconds to realise he was mumbling to himself. 
Then he stopped, turning to face Juliet. He looked like he was arguing with himself, he was losing control, unravelling right in front of her. For the first time since she could remember, Juliet looked at her father and saw weakness staring back at her. 
“Your parents couldn’t protect you, sweet Juliet,” he began. His eyes had a detached look in them, like he wasn’t really standing in front of her. 
Juliet swore her heart stopped at his words.
“They didn’t have what it took to survive. They didn’t have the determination to keep you safe,” Elijah continued, raising his bible in the air as he spoke.
Nausea washed over her. 
“I saved you. I saved you from them . And then I spared them any more suffering.”
He paused to inhale a deep breath, as though his words were suffocating him. But he wasn’t finished. 
“You looked so much like her, with your brown eyes and curls. And your cry, when your parents hit the floor, God, it sounded so much like her’s.”
Juliet didn’t know how much more of this she could take, the nausea was overpowering her. 
“I knew at that moment that you were mine, that you were my second chance. I could take you in, protect you, make sure you were never taken from me. Never stolen away.”
The ringing in Juliet’s ears returned, and she leaned forward and vomited all over the floor. 
Juliet was shaking when she returned to her body, when the firm grip of her memory released her. Every inch of her body trembled. 
She lay on the ground staring at the ceiling, like she had done so many times in her father’s basement. 
But he wasn’t her father. Was he? 
Juliet couldn’t figure out if her mind was playing tricks on her, or had it been trying to protect her this whole time by shielding her from this memory.
He wasn’t her father, not truly. 
The man who had hit her, suffocated her, branded her, kept her locked up for days, weeks at a time… wasn’t actually her father. 
He had kidnapped her.
Juliet felt a similar nausea rise in her at that moment. 
Her real parents were dead. 
She began to crawl on her hands and knees towards the stairs, ignoring the blood trailing in her wake. Her knee wasn’t broken but the skin was burst. 
But Juliet felt no pain. Her mind was too consumed by its own horror. 
She had to get out of here. Juliet reached the stairs and, by some miracle, stumbled up them and closed the basement door. She leaned against it, ensuring it was closed and that nothing else down there could hurt her. 
Her body felt like it was shutting down.
Her whole life, Juliet had wondered if she was like her father. They shared blood, after all, how could they be different? She lay awake at night, terrified for the day she would become like him. 
She gasped out a choked sob when she realised that everything she knew was a lie. 
He was a madman, a psychopath. And she was his victim. 
Juliet slid down the door when her legs gave out on her. 
She’d had parents, real parents who might have loved her. Did other people know? In her father’s community surely people would have questioned him when he returned with an infant who he had no relation to. Wouldn’t they? 
Someone there had to know where she came from. Someone in her father’s community had to know the truth about her. 
Juliet’s mind was racing and her blood roared in her ears as she stood on trembling legs. 
She couldn’t stay here, in Jackson. Juliet needed closure, she craved it now. 
It was the only thought in her mind as she sped up the stairs and changed into the clothes she usually wore for patrol. Ten minutes later, her bag was packed and her boots were laced. 
Juliet thought of nothing but a hazy imaging of her parents. She flinched every time her father’s face entered her mind, gloating about the way he had killed them. 
She would go back there and find out who her parents had been and where she came from, then she would return with the closure she so desperately needed. Juliet would move on, she would be with Joel, everything would be okay. 
Some distant part of her brain screamed at her to slow down, to think things through, to sleep on it. Her muscles urged her to change her mind, to tell someone, to stop being so reckless. 
But how could she tell someone what raged in her mind? No one would understand. 
Juliet had just learned that she wasn’t actually destined to become her father’s daughter, she was never supposed to have been raised by him, never supposed to have been hurt by him. 
She had been stolen, her fate had been altered. 
And so she had to steal it back. 
………………………….
The streets were dead as she raced through them. Most of the town’s residents were still at the dance, leaving the path to the stables clear of any onlookers. 
Juliet kept her mind focused on her task. She couldn’t allow herself to think of anything else, anyone else. She would come back, she knew the way. 
The stables appeared before her quicker than she had expected but Juliet didn’t allow any fear to enter her body. She sprinted to her horse, apologising to her as she readied her for travel. 
Juliet could feel wet tears on her cheeks but she ignored them. 
Her horse was almost ready when she heard the stable doors open. 
Juliet kicked her bag out of sight and planted herself against the wall as she held her breath. 
Irritation pulsed through her. Every delay was another second where she didn’t know the truth about herself. 
Juliet gasped when a face appeared before her. 
A very angry face. 
“What the hell do you think you’re doin’?” he demanded, breathing heavy. 
“Joel,” Juliet whispered.
_______________________________
@amyispxnk @casa-boiardi @http-paprika @shotgun-shelby @weeping-werewolf @mysaviorjoelmiller @chlojoceycom
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mncxbe · 3 months
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W.oi
𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓
𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: dazai feels nostalgic/ fluff?
since it's been requested, I wrote a little something for this♡
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It's been a few months since you joined the Ada and until today Dazai has managed to keep you arm's length. Strangely enough, it was harder than he expected.
Despite the agonizing guilt you stirred up in him, the brunette found himself oddly drawn to you. Maybe it was your kind smile or the way you carried yourself, or maybe you just reminded him of Oda. Yes, everything about you was a painful reminder of his past, of what he'd done and yet, he allowed himself to get a little bit closer to you.
Oh, and how bitterly he regretted it. A friendly chat here, a mission together there, sharing a drink after work one night- they all led to that moment, to the day you finally discovered his secrets.
It was around 6 p.m and he was about to leave the office when you suddenly popped up behind him.
"Hi Dazai, got any plans tonight?" you asked with that sweet smile of yours that got his head spinning.
"Nothing in particular" he replied nonchalantly.
You beamed, sliding an arm under his "Great then, we're going out for a drink"
Before he got a chance to protest you marched out of the building, dragging him alongside you. Soon enough you made it to your destination, a cozy little underground pub with burnt red brick walls and yellowing rockstar posters, remnants of a decades-old era in Yokohama.
Taking a seat on one of the empty seats at the bar you ordered two glasses of whiskey on ice. The tension between you grew almost palpable with each minute that passed. As you focused your gaze on the amber liquid in the glass your colleague did his best to push the racing thoughts in the back of his mind.
"So..." you eventually spoke up, sliding your thumb over the brim of your glass "I wanted to talk to you about something"
Dipping your hand in the pocket of your coat you procured a folded picture. Dazai's heart dropped as he watched you unfold it, his stomach churning; it was the photo he'd taken at Lupin with Odasaku and Ango all those years ago.
For a few moments you both remained silent as he fumbled for words. "Look, I can explain" he began but you immediately cut him off.
"No, Dazai, you don't need to explain anything. You never mentioned knowing him so I assume you didn't wanna talk about it. I just wanna know one thing."
The man nodded weakly, averting his gaze; he couldn't bear facing you.
"You see, my brother never opened up to me about what he was doing at work. I knew he was involved with some... questionable people, but I've always thought he was a good person." You took a deep breath in and leaned closer, trying to get him to look at you. "I just wanna know what kind of person he really was."
Finally meeting your gaze, Dazai spoke in a weak voice "He was my closest friend, the kindest person I've ever known..." Once those words left his lips he couldn't stop talking; memories resurfaced, spilling from him like news on the radio. You listened carefully to his speech, punctuated only by occasional sighs and sips from his glass, and nodded.
He told you everything, from the day they met and how their friendship progressed, to the conflict with Mimic that led to his untimely death.
"He had this ideal, you know, never to kill anyone. He wanted to write a book at some point and thought that murderers had no right to talk or write about life, to create something beautiful with hands that bear the blood of other people." Raising the glass to his lips, Dazai downed the rest of his drink, the alcohol burning the back of his throat as he swallowed.
"I see... He does sound like a wonderful person" A faint smile tugged at your lips "Thanks for telling me everything"
"No problem. It was good to finally talk to someone about it. I would appreciate if you didn't mention this to the others tho"
You gave him a reassuring nod, holding your little finger out in front of him. "I won't, Dazai. Pinky promise. "
The brunette chuckled, locking his finger with yours as he held your gaze. "I'll trust you on that and please, call me Osamu from now on"
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abbyromanoff · 2 months
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I was wondering if you could do a follow-up to Ms.Thornhill x Reader. Where reader is pregnant and things are going great until they are in their 2nd trimester. Reader finds out who Ms. Thornhill is, reader goes mama bear on her and gives her an ultimatum it's either me and the baby or your stupid revenge.
PLEASE DONT GO
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PAIRINGS: Marilyn Thornhill x reader
WORD COUNT: 858
WARNINGS: angst, no happy ending, betrayal, pregnant!R, that’s really like it lol
NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!
Throughout the entire pregnancy, Marilyn had been there by your side, keeping you safe and happy. And at first, you believed there could be nothing more to wish for. It was magical, your family was finally coming together in a loving formation.
You almost could’ve praised the woman for her skills in hiding this persona from you, but you were surrounded entirely by hatred and disbelief. How could she do this? How could she betray the one true person she’s ever loved? You didn’t know, but you did know that there was no possibility that you would raise your child in the same proximity as that woman.
“Y/N? Love, you in here?” The woman began ranting about her day mindlessly, only stopping when she reached the bedroom where you sat with a packed suitcase, your limp body too weak to stand. You were crying as you admired the framed photo you two had, and her eyes instantly widened as her movements to rid the jacket from her body fell still.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” She kneeled in front of you, taking your chin in her fingers in hopes that it would soothe you, but you only leaned away.
“What’s going on?” She asked in disbelief, gulping nervously when you set the frame in her hands. She took it, and she was unable to stop the grin that appeared when seeing your large smile from her lips planting onto your cheek.
“I know everything, Marilyn.” You spoke, causing her eyebrows to raise in curiosity.
“What- what do you mean?”
“I know about your plans, I know about your family, I know why you came to this school in the first place.” She stood suddenly, and you refused to meet her eyes that looked down upon you.
“You plan to destroy all of this, don’t you? And Wednesday, you plan to kill her, as well?” Her scowl grew at the mention, and she quickly shut you down with a huff.
“That is none of your business-“
“Oh, really? I am carrying your fucking child, Marilyn, and soon I’ll be holding them in my arms. You are the mother to my child, and you believe it is not my business to care? I’m not going to raise a child with a monster.”
“I am not a monster, Y/N, I am doing what I am meant to do.”
“You’re meant to destroy our family? You’re meant to kill a teenager because your family said so?” She bit her lip as you stood alongside her, glaring as you held your ground. You weren’t afraid, you felt the rage and sadness helping you as your face came close to hers.
“Listen, I don’t want to hurt you, and I won’t. You just need to trust me.” You shook your head, and your throat tightened as tears threatened to revisit. You didn’t want her to see you cry, she didn’t deserve that glory.
“No, I can’t, Marilyn. Time and time again I have questioned you and you have lied to me, you told me there was nothing to worry about. But, guess what, there was. Why couldn’t you just tell me, Mar, why couldn’t you just tell me the truth?” You held your head in your hands, and the silence seemed to be deafening. When she refused to speak, you gained the courage to grab the handle of your suitcase, bringing it close to your body as you tried pushing past her. She stood in your way, her glasses on her nose as her vision became blurred. She placed a hand against your waist, and while it was not restricting, it felt like you could no longer move.
“Let me go.”
“I can’t, Y/N.”
“I can’t be here, I need to leave.”
“You need to be with me, baby, you love me.”
“And do you love me?” Her lips parted, her eyebrows furrowing as she positioned herself to stand in front of your form. “Or am I just some part of your sick plan?”
“I love you, I always have; I don’t think I can ever stop.”
“You’re lying, Marilyn.”
“I would never lie to you, Y/N.” Although she had, she refused to admit it. She didn’t want to lose the trust she knew she had most likely already lost, so she was desperate to keep you by her side.
“I can’t even believe that! Please, just let me go.” You paused, gulping down your sorrows and sniffling quietly. “I won’t tell anyone anything, if someone asks why we separated I’ll tell them we decided it was best for the child, okay? But I am not letting you anywhere near my baby, not until you get your shit fixed. But for now, I need you to let me go.” Silence filled the room as you approached the door, your hand colliding with the knob as you struggled to turn it. And once you did, it felt as though waves crashed through both you and Marilyn’s hearts.
“I love you both, Y/N, and I’m going to make this right. We’re going to be a family again.”
“I know, but it’s best that we aren’t right now.”
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whatsk-poppinhomies · 8 months
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Pairing : Yandere!Kim Seungmin x F!Reader TW : yandere behavior ; this one is actually a mind fuck, at least for me it was ; plot twist ; not as angsty as my other stuff though ; Word Count : 2.9k Request : Anonny : Yandere Seungmin?? A/N : I never thought I'd ever be a yandere writer, but the genre is so fun (in the most normal way possible) It's just the right amount of angst and I get to make it kinda scary!
You’ve been being followed for months… 
He’s been following you for months…
No one was able to catch who it was, not even the police…
He still hadn’t been caught, not even by the police…
This person had even managed to break into your apartment and steal your most intimate clothes…
How thrilling it had been when he had finally made it inside, collecting trophies that would serve as a constant reminder of you… 
So you had moved…
How foolish of you…
Hoping that they wouldn’t find you now…
He’d always find you, but the hunt did make it all the more thrilling… 
You were safe now…
At least you thought you were…
The bags of groceries were placed on the ground as you pulled out your phone to open the directions to your new apartment once again. The streets were far more confusing and even more busy than the ones back in your old city. You didn’t feel any safer here than you did back at home, you actually felt like more of a target considering you didn’t know where the hell you were most of the time. 
“Are you lost?” A soft voice questioned from beside you, and when you quickly glanced up you were met with the sweetest smile and the kindest eyes, it was a face you could trust… A face you should trust… But you were terrified of everyone and everything, so you quickly shook your head, returning the smile as you bowed to him. 
“No… The bags are just heavy… Had to set them down for a moment.” You lied, and you were never the best at lying, you were actually quite bad at it, and you could see in the way his lips pressed together in a thin line that he didn’t believe you for a second. “I should get going now, thank you for your concern.” 
You bowed once more and began the process of grabbing your bags, but another set of hands began picking them up and you felt your heart begin to race. “I’ll help you carry them. You’ll end up hurting yourself…” He said, and you shook your head, holding your hands out for the groceries, and if he wasn’t going to give them back, you were willing to just chalk it up as a loss and head home without your bags. “Well, at least let me walk them to the nearest bus stop for you, just to make sure you get home okay.” 
To make sure you made it home okay or to find out where exactly you lived again? The nearest bus stop was a block away from your house though… and the apartment next to the bus stop… During the day you could walk right in… You could pretend that you lived there… Just in case this was the guy. “Alright…” You whispered, putting on a fake smile as his grew wider, his arms retracting and holding the bags at his sides as he walked alongside you. 
“So… You weren’t lost?” The man pressed, and if your heart went any faster you’d most definitely pass out. “I know… It probably seems nosy, I just saw that you were on the maps and… It seemed like you were looking for directions. I’ve lived here my whole life, so I just thought I’d be able to help. I hope you’re not weirded out or anything…” He chuckled awkwardly and you forced yourself to laugh along with him, your eyes glued to the ground. 
“Nope… I’m not weirded out at all…” Scared, yes… Confused… Absolutely… Terrified… Without a doubt. After everything you had gone through back at your old place though… Nothing weirded you out. “Thanks for helping me out…” 
“Oh yeah, no problem… Really. It feels good to help people, not a lot of people are willing to help others these days and… It’s kind of upsetting.” You hummed along to his words, pretending to be interested in what he said. He seemed to pick up on your lack of interest though, and he was quiet for the rest of the walk, although the cheerfulness that radiated off of him never changed. “This is the bus stop, right?” He asked and not even you were exactly sure if it was the right one, you had to pull out your phone to check again just to be 100%. 
“Yeah… Yeah, this is it. Thanks for walking me here.” You said shakily, grabbing the bags from his hands and bowing stiffly once more before rushing up the stairs to the apartment complex. 
He chuckled from the bottom of the stairs, the sound seemed so loud in your ears, almost overpowering the sound of your heartbeat. “Are you sure you’re at the right apartment?” He called out, and you froze on the top step, gulping loudly before slowly turning around to face him. “Yours is like, a block down… Right? I can just finish walking you there if you want.” How did he know that? How did he already know where exactly you lived when you didn’t even know? “God, I sound so creepy… Don’t I? I’m sorry… I just saw it on your phone and… I know this neighborhood really well. One of my friends actually lives on your street. Isn’t that funny?” 
Oh yeah, it was really funny, and super coincidental. You still weren’t certain that this guy was the one who was stalking you, but, as you stood frozen in your spot staring at him, it felt like you were looking into the eyes of a murderer. “I think I can manage from here…” You said robotically, finally taking the first step, and the next set followed quickly after. You moved as fast as possible, scurrying past him in the direction of your actual apartment, hoping and praying that he wasn’t following you. 
Your door had so many locks and bolts on it that it was considered a safety hazard in itself, while protecting you from whoever it may be on the outside, if there were ever a fire, you were royally fucked. But, with each latch and click of every lock, your heart rate dropped and slowly but surely returned to normal. 
You had never been so scared in your life, other than the day you found all of your stuff missing, but this moment had topped even that. You were 98.6% certain that the man you had coincidentally come into contact with today was in fact the person who had been stalking you and the person who had broken into your apartment. It was too weird, there was no way in hell that that many coincidences could happen in such a short amount of time. Of course, you didn’t get the man’s name, and, while he was attractive, there were no real key descriptions you could give out that would help the police find him, at least there were none that you could, with certainty, give to the cops that would help in any way. 
For now you would have to wait, maybe he’d be outside of your apartment more often now claiming to see his friend that apparently lived on the same street. Or maybe he’d cool it for a bit, he said it himself that he had sounded creepy, maybe he would feel like he let too much slip. You weren’t sure, you weren’t sure of anything really, and that had you panicking even more. 
It was unfair, you couldn’t… You shouldn’t have to live in a constant state of fear just because of someone else’s sick thoughts. It wasn’t right… You couldn’t work, you could barely sleep, you had to shower with the bathroom door open because you were just constantly worried about what could happen. Your life was like a nightmare, and it felt like the only person you had right now was your best friend from elementary school. 
He had been with you for a majority of your life, and he was with you through this whole mess as well. You couldn’t call the cops, so you decided to call him to give him an update. “How’s life in the new place? They better have hooked you up with something good considering they took you so far away from me.” He teased, and while his voice was usually enough to have you instantly calm, today it just wasn’t working, and for good reasons too. 
“Listen… I think I know who it is…” You said quietly, scared that the guy might be standing right outside your door listening. 
“Really?” He asked, his own voice lowering as if he were worried that the guy might hear him through your phone. “Did you call the police? Who do you think it is?” 
“I… I didn’t get his name… But he… He came up to me to help me with my groceries and… He walked me to the bus stop and I tried to fool him by going into a different apartment building but he knew… He knew exactly where I lived…” Your anxiety was sky rocketing just from re-living the moment and you could hear him sigh heavily through the speaker on your phone. 
“See, this is why I told them to just let you stay with me until they found the guy. I don’t know why they would still make you live on your own, without security or anything. They’re fucking stupid.” He was ranting on and on, and in the midst of his rant, a heavy knock came against your front door, causing you to freeze up. “Who is that?” He asked, clearly hearing the banging through the phone. “Don’t answer it, just stay where you are, call the police.” 
“I don’t want to hang up… I’m scared…” You whispered, and like the foolish first to be killed in any horror movie, you slowly got up off the couch and tip-toed over to the door, looking through the peephole. Your hand shot up to your mouth to muffle your gasp when you saw the guy standing out in the hallway. 
“Hey! I had to ask the lady at the front desk which apartment is yours! You left one of your bags at the bus stop and… That just seems like such a waste of money!” He called from outside the door and you were paralyzed, absolutely petrified, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t speak. “I…I heard you talking a couple seconds ago… Do you want me to just leave the bag out here?” 
“Fuck this, I’m calling the fucking cops.” Your friend finally said, and you whispered out a quick no, sliding down the wall and curling your knees up against your chest as you sat on the floor. “I’ll call you back… I promise… Just wait…” 
“Please don’t hang up…” Your voice was as quiet as humanly possible, and the next series of knocks had you sobbing softly into the phone. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had and… And I’m so lucky to know you…” You choked out, truly believing that the man on the other side of the door wouldn’t let up until you opened it for him. 
“Don’t say that shit, just let me call the cops! Let me be the bestest friend, and fucking protect you.” He demanded, ending the call himself and now you felt truly alone, you were trapped, there was nothing for you to do but wait. 
“I just wanted to apologize for… for being so weird earlier. My mom says that I’m too nice sometimes… It probably came off as creepy. My name is Felix by the way and… I’ll… I’ll just  leave your stuff here and… Hopefully… Maybe we can hang out and you can see that I’m just a normal dude… Sorry again…” He said, and just as you thought, the cops would be too late. He was already leaving, and once again, you knew he wouldn’t be caught.  There was never enough time to catch this guy… It was like a game to him… And he clearly enjoyed playing it. 
Next thing you knew, your door sounded like it was being kicked in, and that truly felt like it would be it for you, and maybe it was just because you had reached your breaking point or you had come to terms with the fact that you might possibly die that gave you a small rush of adrenaline, making you push yourself up off the floor and slam your fists against the door. “Go away! Just go away!” You shouted, and then there was silence that was only broken by the static of a walkie talkie on the other side. 
One look through the peephole had you undoing the locks and throwing open the door, relief washing over you and a new sense of hope when you saw not only the officers standing at your door, but your best friend too. “We’re sorry we didn’t get here in time…” They said sympathetically and you lowered your head. It would have been too easy… Nothing about this was easy… “Your friend told us to hurry and we did… We’re going to find him though. We will.”
“He was here… He knows I’m here!” You shouted, your head falling back as your fists balled up at your sides. “Do you understand how fucking hard this is?! I haven’t slept more than three hours a night since this started! I’m alone! He found me and he’s… He doesn’t even care because he knows he won’t get caught! He was right outside my fucking door!” 
“She can stay with me.” Your friend interjected, placing an arm around your shoulder as a form of comfort, and you hadn’t felt so safe since this entire thing had begun. “At least until you find the guy. It would make everyone feel better to know she’s safe there.” You nodded your head quickly to his suggestion, leaning against him for support as you stared at the cops. 
“That would probably be best…” The main officer said, nodding along to his words. “We’ll do weekly updates to let you all know what’s going on. Don’t let her leave the house by herself, I’m sure that this guy… If he’s cocky enough to show up at her door, lord knows what else he’ll do.” The words weren’t in any way reassuring, they were quite the opposite, but your friend just made a sound of agreement that sounded more like a grunt of annoyance as he led you out of your apartment. 
“Let me know if you see this guy on the streets or anything when I’m driving, I’ll pull over and stop him for the cops.” He said, his hand holding yours tightly as you walked down the stairs and through the main doors. “Can’t believe the nerve… To just show up at your door!? To bang on it and try to force his way in… That’s psychotic! I’m glad you’ll be staying with me… I won’t let anything happen to you.” 
He pulled the passenger door open for you and waited for you to get in and buckle up before closing it, quickly running to the drivers side and climbing in. “I know you won’t… I’m just glad I’ll be able to get some good sleep… You mind if I nap a bit in the car? Just until we get to your place…” 
“You don’t have to ask, silly. Just get some rest, you need it. You look exhausted.” He reached over and brushed your hair out of your face. “I’ll keep you safe… I always will… I’ll protect you…” He murmured as his fingers continued to stroke along your cheeks, his touch so soothing you could barely keep your eyes open long enough to look at him. 
“I know…” You murmured, your voice laced with sleep as your lips smacked together. “That’s why I love you, Minnie… You’re the best…” 
“I love you too…” He cooed, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before starting up the car and pulling out. “I finally got you… I can finally keep you with me…” He whispered, his eyes glancing over to you every couple of seconds, his heart swelling at the way your lips were pulled up into the cutest little smile even when you were sleeping. 
It was easy… This guy who… Who probably had the best intentions… He made it so damn easy for him to win. Now that he had you, he wasn’t going to let you go. You said it yourself, you loved him, and he loved you too, so much that his heart ached at the thought of you even being close to whoever this other guy was. He was the only one who should be close to you, and now he was the only one who would ever be close to you. 
It was like a game of tic-tac-toe… No matter where you were placed, he was always a step ahead, he would always win, and you would always think it was a little game between two friends… But it was so much more than that. You were his… You were always only ever his. Maybe now you’d understand, you’d accept that… Because he was tired of the hunt, he was tired of chasing after you… You belonged with him. Your things were already at his house… Now all that was left was getting you in the house and never letting you leave. But that would be simple… As long as your stalker was still on the loose, he’d have you as long as he wanted. 
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netesecretlover · 2 months
Note
HEYHEYHEYYY SAW UR REQ POST AND THIUGHT ABOUT ASKING !!!
SOOO I WAS THINKING ABOUT SOME LOAK X HUMAN!FEM READER DRABBLE !! Just a random idea but I'd love to see some cute fluffy fuc about loak taking a liking to reader and has spent some time with her, and eventually his feelings grew but he doenst know how to confess without being a fumbling mess so he does that one scene from Love, Actually with the cards and all that with a hint of reader accepting it and saying right after "I kinda always knew" and Lo'ak js passes out HAHAHAHHA
You can do whatever you want and add some of your ideas too! XOXO
★ Starry Sky
Lo'ak Sully x humain!fem!reader
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丨Words: 3k
丨Summary: Growing up on Pandora with the Sully family, you share a routine of daily adventures. Lo'ak, secretly in love with you, struggles to express his feelings. Encouraged by his family, Lo'ak decides to finally confess his love under Pandora's stars. The outcome remains uncertain, but the enchanting atmosphere sets the stage for a heartfelt revelation.
丨Warning : pure fluff, some Arabic love quotes (only two), Lo'ak is so whipped for reader, first fic <3 Not proof read too
丨Notes : Anonym request ! I hope you'll like it, I started writing and I couldn't stop haha. I'm sorry if it wasn't what you asked for.
!!ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE!!
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After the Sky People were sent back to Earth, some humans were allowed to stay on Pandora alongside the Na'vi. Among them were your parents, two scientists who had always advocated for the Na'vi alongside Grace, Norm, and Jake. A few years later, you were born. Thanks to the connections your parents had with Neytiri and Jake, you spent your youth alongside the Sully family. You had established a small routine at a very young age. In the morning, you would wake up and have a quick breakfast with your parents. Then, grabbing your little pouch and bidding your parents farewell, you would hurry to join your friends. Every day on Pandora was an adventure for you.
Walking on the cool forest floor toward the village, upon arrival, everyone was already up. Some Na'vi went foraging, while others went hunting. Children sat around an elder of the village, listening to a story. You smiled gently and made your way up to the Sully family house.
As you approached the entrance, suddenly, Tuk appeared, running. She screamed with joy before Neteyam caught her and tossed her into the air. You chuckled slightly, catching Neteyam's attention.
"Oh, hey Y/N," Neteyam said with a smile. He held Tuk in his arms, and she also greeted you with a big smile. "Lo'ak! Your sweetheart Y/N is here!" Neteyam called to his brother.
Your face turned a shade of violet, and Neteyam burst into laughter. Sounds could be heard from inside the house—footsteps—and finally, Lo'ak emerged.
"Hi Y/N…" Lo'ak said with a shy smile. "I didn't know you were coming to the house today, not that I don't want to see you! I like seeing you; you're pretty, I mean, not that you weren't before! Yes—" Lo'ak stammered and spoke very quickly; you didn't quite catch the end.
"Kiri invited me to gather pearls together." You replied, smiling.
At that moment, time seemed to slow down for Lo'ak, his eyes lingering on every detail of your face. He seemed captivated, as if simply hearing your voice or seeing you smile brought him indescribable joy.
"Pearls, huh?" he repeated, searching for his words. "That's great. I mean, you'll surely look beautiful with pearl bracelets. Well, you already are, you know… beautiful, I mean."
A slight blush tinted Lo'ak's cheeks as he tried to compose himself, continuing to smile mischievously. His words seemed to jumble in his head, perhaps reflecting the confusion of his feelings.
You chuckled at the scene. He was cute, you thought. Neteyam and Tuk had stepped back a bit to give you some space. Neteyam sighed, looking at his younger brother; he had a long way to go, he thought.
At the same time, Kiri came out of the house with a handcrafted pouch around her waist. You gave one last smile to Lo'ak and greeted everyone before heading, with Kiri, towards the village's exit.
"Pearls, huh? That's great. I mean, you'll surely look beautiful with pearl bracelets. Well, you already are, you know… beautiful," Neteyam said, mockingly mimicking his brother. "You could have at least told her to be careful in the forest; you really have things to learn."
Lo'ak remained there, watching you walk away with Kiri, his persistent smile and dreamy gaze. Neteyam shook his head, looking at his brother with a mischievous smile.
"You are truly hopeless, Lo'ak. You look like a hopelessly in love teenager every time she's around," teased Neteyam.
Lo'ak rolled his eyes but couldn't help but laugh slightly. "Oh, leave me alone, Neteyam. You don't understand."
Neteyam raised an eyebrow, teasing. "Really? And what don't I understand?"
Lo'ak hesitated for a moment, then opened up. "It's just… it's been a long time, you know. Since we were kids. I can't quite remember exactly when it happened, but there's something about her that has always… captured my heart. Since our childhood, Neteyam."
His older brother looked at him with a knowing smile.
Lo'ak's smile softened. "Everything about her appeals to me. The fact that she's smaller than me makes me want to protect her, even though she can defend herself without me. She's so good with the clan's little ones, teaching them English and games from her world. There isn't a memory where she isn't present. It's like she's always been there, an integral part of my life. And today, seeing her, I realize that it hasn't changed. My heart still beats faster when she's around. It's… it's more than just an attraction, Neteyam. I think I'm really in love with her."
Neteyam looked at his brother with sudden understanding, his teasing demeanor giving way to genuine respect. "Well, little brother, maybe it's time to tell her. You'll never know if she feels the same unless you try."
Lo'ak sighed, knowing that Neteyam was right. "Maybe, but it's scary,
you know? What if she doesn't feel the same? She's human, and I'm… I'm just me." Lo'ak looked at his hands. "I'm nothing special; she'd probably prefer to be with another human, even if there aren't really any her age, or someone skilled in something."
His brother placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Lo'ak, don't talk about yourself like that. You know, she has admired you since she was little. The biggest regret you could have is never trying. Life is too short not to pursue what you really want. And who knows, maybe the love you've felt for so long is reciprocated. Have you ever noticed how she looks at you when you're not paying attention? It's like she's waiting for you to make the first move."
Lo'ak watched you disappear into the forest, a mix of apprehension and determination in his gaze. Perhaps it was time to let his heart speak, to share his feelings with the one who had held a special place in his life for so long.
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The golden rays of the sun filtered through the dense canopy of Pandora's forest, creating a mosaic of light and shadow dancing on the emerald-covered ground. Towering trees with twisted trunks and bioluminescent leaves stood majestically above the two friends, creating a mystical and enchanting atmosphere.
The gentle murmur of the breeze blended with the songs of exotic birds, forming a natural symphony that seemed to envelop each of your steps and those of Kiri. Vibrantly colored flowers blossomed along the path, attracting butterflies with shimmering wings. The endless shades of green in the vegetation ranged from the soft foliage of plants to the darker tones of lush shrubs.
As you walked, Kiri broke the silence with a teasing question. "So, Y/N, how's it going with Lo'ak?"
You smiled, reminiscing about Lo'ak's earlier awkward moments. "Oh, you know, the usual stammering and slightly awkward compliments. Nothing new."
Kiri joyfully chuckled. "He's so cute when he tries, isn't he? But seriously, between you and him, how is it really going?"
You pretended to ponder, picking up a few pearls along the way. "Well, we've been friends forever. But recently, it's different. Well, maybe it's me starting to notice something different in him…"
Kiri arched an eyebrow, smiling mischievously. "Different? Like what, for example?"
You blushed slightly. "I notice his awkward side, which I don't mind. He may seem immature, but when things get serious, he can be serious. He cares about the people around him, even if sometimes he acts on his own… but I don't mind that."
Kiri, instead of directly confirming Lo'ak's feelings, teased you with a mischievous smile. "Ah, love is in the air. It feels like the beginning of a grand adventure. What do you plan to do now?"
You shrugged, not quite sure what to say.
"Wait for him to make the first move, if he likes me, of course. But there are so many talented girls in the clan. Ti'avin, one of the best singers, and her sister who seems to float when she dances. I'm just human; I could never be skilled enough… I have this feeling that he likes me. Sometimes his lingering glances, how he hugs me when he's happy, and when he blushes. I really feel like he likes me, but I'm not sure."
Kiri, sensing the note of doubt in your words, shook her head firmly. "Well, listen to me, Y/N. You're amazing in your own way. Beauty isn't just in singing or dancing. It's in the way you walk through this forest, the way you smile when Lo'ak awkwardly compliments you. You are unique, and no one else can do it like you."
She gave you a friendly shoulder bump. "And don't underestimate Lo'ak. You don't need to compete with anyone. Just be yourself."
You looked at your best friend, your gaze reflecting gratitude. "You always have a way of lifting my spirits, Kiri. Thank you."
Kiri smiled. "That's what friends are supposed to do, right? Now, forget the doubts and let's quickly gather the pearls."
She pointed to a spot where a sparkling waterfall merged into a natural pool, creating an enchanting tableau. "And how about picking some of those flowers? They'll add a special touch to our pearl bracelets."
You smiled, grateful for Kiri's reassuring presence. You continued your walk through the forest, pushing away dark thoughts and letting yourself be carried away by the magical beauty surrounding you.
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During the week, Lo'ak seemed to be elusive. Whenever you approached him, he found an excuse and fled. Initially, you thought he was probably busy, but after five consistent days of lies, you began to be hurt by his actions. Several times, Kiri caught your gaze, which was devoid of any joy.
Had you done something wrong?
That was the question you had posed to your best friend. You could see the disappointment in her eyes. She reassured you throughout the evening until mealtime.
During dinner, the Sully family noticed Lo'ak's absence. He was there, but his gaze was lost. He hadn't even touched his food, which worried Neytiri. Kiri stared fixedly at her brother. At the end of dinner, before he could come up with an excuse to escape once again, she took her brother by the arm and led him in front of the house. She made him sit on the edge, feet dangling.
"Lo'ak, what's wrong? You look troubled," she asked with concern.
Lo'ak sighed, feeling a bit overwhelmed. "It's Y/N. I wanted to confess my feelings to her, but every time I try, I lose my words, or worse, I feel paralyzed. So, I run away like a fool. And I can see that it hurts her, but I don't know how to go about it."
Kiri looked at him with understanding. "You know, Lo'ak, Y/N might have already noticed your feelings. She is very attentive, you know."
Lo'ak lowered his eyes, a mix of sadness and frustration on his face. "I've tried, you know. I wanted to court her seriously and give her gifts every day, in the Na'vi way, but I don't know if that's what she prefers. I feel like I'm acting like a child, and I don't know how to tell her what I really feel."
Kiri gently placed her hand on her brother's shoulder. "Lo'ak, you are sincere, that's what matters. And maybe you can ask our old father for advice."
Lo'ak nodded, appreciating his sister's advice.
Kiri left, smiling at Lo'ak, giving him some space to think. As calm returned, Jake approached and sat next to his son.
"Is everything okay?" asked Jake, noticing Lo'ak's troubled expression.
Lo'ak sighed. "It's Y/N, father. I wanted to confess my feelings to her, but every time I try, I lose my words, or I feel paralyzed. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't know how to go about it."
Jake placed a reassuring hand on Lo'ak's shoulder. "Feelings are complicated, Lo'ak. But there's something I remember from a movie I saw back on Earth, before coming here. It was a movie called 'Love Actually.' There was a scene where a boy confesses his feelings to a girl with cards. Since you can't seem to speak, maybe that could work."
Lo'ak looked up, intrigued. "Cards?"
"Yes, cards. He wrote his feelings on cards, one by one. It was a sincere declaration of love, and it was beautiful because it was honest and authentic. Maybe you could try something similar, express what you feel through carefully chosen words."
Lo'ak pondered the idea, wondering if this approach could be the key to overcoming his difficulties in expressing himself. "It might work. Thank you, father. I'll think about it."
Jake gave him an encouraging smile. "Don't forget, Lo'ak, love doesn't follow a script. Be yourself, and it will all happen as it should."
Lo'ak nodded, grateful for his father's advice.
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Night fell gently on Pandora, painting the sky with shades of orange and purple. You stood at the edge of a cliff, contemplating the celestial spectacle unfolding before you. The stars shone with brilliant intensity, creating a magical tableau in the darkness.
As you lost yourself in the stars, a slight noise behind you made you turn around. It was Lo'ak, holding large cards in his hands. He seemed awkward, but his eyes sparkled with a determined light.
"Lo'ak?" you said, surprised to see him here.
Lo'ak stammered for a moment before taking a deep breath. "Y/N, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time. I… I don't always manage to find the words, so I thought maybe, cards could help me."
He carefully unfolded the first card, hand-written words displayed. "You are like the stars, Y/N, lighting up my life with your presence. Every time I see the starry sky, I think of you."
You read the words, Lo'ak's emotions expressed through each line. You looked up at him, and he continued, a bit more confident.
"When you're around, the world seems to slow down." You read before he changed the card. "Your smiles brighten my days, and your presence fills me with joy." Your cheeks began to warm.
"You are the most beautiful fate."
"You are the love of my soul."
These were such romantic phrases. Your heart was racing.
"I know I'm clumsy with words, but I want to tell you that…" Lo'ak lowered the card, looking at you with an intensity that reflected his deep love. "I see you with my heart, not my eyes. Oel Ngati Kameie."
You were moved by the sincerity of his words, remaining speechless for a moment.
"Lo'ak…" you finally whispered, a radiant smile lighting up your face. "It's beautiful."
Lo'ak offered you a shy but joyful smile. "I was afraid you wouldn't understand, that my words wouldn't live up to what I truly feel."
You approached him and gently took his hands. "Lo'ak, your words are perfect. And you… you are perfect."
Lo'ak stepped towards you, letting the cards fall from his hands, and embraced you. Your face was buried in his chest, and he held you a little tighter, the warmth of his embrace enveloping you.
The stars shone above you, silent witnesses to this magical moment. Then, without a word, Lo'ak wrapped his arms around your waist to lift you slightly. Your head was now at his level. His freckles glistened, and without saying a word, he captured your lips in a sweet and passionate kiss.
As you separated, you rested your head against Lo'ak's shoulder.
After a few moments in silence, you sat together on the edge of the cliff, your hands still entwined, and looked up at the starry sky.
"You know, Lo'ak, I had a feeling," you admitted softly, a teasing smile on your lips.
Lo'ak looked at you, surprised. "Really?"
You nodded. "Yes, but I wanted you to make the first move. And I'm so happy that you did."
You stayed there, marveling at the beauty of the night sky, sharing laughter, knowing glances, and silent promises for the future.
Your differences were just an insignificant detail in the infinite brilliance of the stars, a symbol of love that had finally found its way.
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hacash · 10 months
Text
"Alright, bruv?"
Sam doesn't even notice Isaac's presence until he thumps the locker next to Sam's head with his fist: the team captain's preferred form of greeting. He jumps, and then with a sigh goes back to staring at his phone. The beaming faces of the newly called-up Nigerian football team, resplendent in green and white. "Huh? Oh, yes. Yes, I'm fine, thank you."
"Bullshit," Isaac scoffs. "C'mon, what's wrong?"
Sam doesn't want to admit that anything's wrong. Treat your wins with humility and your losses with grace, that's what his father always says. But he supposes to do that you have to admit that there was a loss in the first place. Besides, if anyone would understand it's Isaac, Isaac who's never once been called up to the England team, who hadn't even looked up when Beard was reading out the roster. England team's bursting with great players anyway, he'd grunted when Colin had asked if he was alright. Even if I was good enough, don't think they're too keen to call up a guy who tried to throttle someone in the stands a month ago. Their loss then, Colin had said. That's, like, top of my list for qualities of a best mate. Not to mention team captain. Harry Kane's quaking in his boots whenever he sees you on the telly, boyo. And Isaac's face had split into this massive grin, and that had been that. "I just found out Edwin Afuko is the reason I didn't make the Nigerian team," he says. "What - that guy who tried to sign you up to his African super-team?" "Yeah," Sam sighs. "When I turned him down he told me I'd never play for the Nigerian national team. Now I found out he bribed the government - my home, Isaac, the place where I grew up - not to invite me onto the team." "Jesus Christ." "Yeah." "You think it was to do with the Dubai Air protest as well?" Isaac asks. "Like, this guy made us all look like a bunch of corrupt dickheads, we ain't gonna have him represent our country sort of thing?" Sam's eyes widen, and then slam shut as his head falls back against his locker. "Well I do now." "That's bullshit," Isaac announces. For once, Sam is tempted to agree. Isaac is staring intently at the ground. Finally he looks up and clears his throat with uncharacteristic caution. "Would you have done the same thing? The protest, staying at Richmond - if you knew it was gonna go down like this, I mean?" It's something he's not wanted to ask himself: but there it's been, niggling away like some horrible little imp in the back of his mind. Sam thinks about that photograph hanging on his childhood wall, the feeling he had strolling through the British Museum alongside Edwin. He thinks about running over the beaches of Lagos as a child, how it felt to see those pictures of the destruction and the dying animals on those same beaches. The thrill of returning to the Premier League. The teenagers who'd come up to him in the street, newly arrived and still stumbling over their English, thanking him for speaking out even as the glass was still being swept up at Ola's. Men like Gary Lineker and Ian Wright quoting his tweets on Match of the Day, and the UK government not being able to do anything to stop them. The way his heart had skipped, seeing young men just like him playing on Richmond Green wearing his jersey. "Of course I would," he says finally. "I couldn’t have taken a place on the team if it meant not speaking out." "Right. You wouldn't have been happy just sitting down and shutting up. Or playing for some rich prick who bribes people all the time. And it's totally shit, but - I guess it's, like, the price you've gotta pay right now for doing so much awesome stuff." "I suppose it's worth that." They sit together in companionable silence for a little while. Finally Sam sighs. "I still really want to play for the Nigerian national team though, Isaac." Isaac nods and sets an arm around his shoulders. "You will, bruv. I know you will."
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For @boasamishipper​. There’s something really interesting about seeing reality ensue when Sam faces the backlash of following his heart - but I’d have loved to get a little scene like this.
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