Somewhere in the Bureau of Increasingly Less Faithful Dracula Adaptations
Directors 1-60: Look, Mina clearly needs to be the sexy vampire bait-heroine in the next every one. She’s her era’s modern woman! She’ll appeal to all the wistful nerd chicks in the audience when we have her drop that Victorian snore Jonathan and pair her with Dracula!
Directors 61-99: Please, Mina’s old news. The real spotlight belongs to the original man harem juggler, Lucy. Everyone knows from the movies and shows that she 1) Is the hot one, 2) Brings all the dudes to the yard, and 3) Has plenty of potential for unfulfilled bisexy goings-on with Mina and Dracula. (Cannot stress enough that the Mina stuff stay unfulfilled, though.) If anyone’s the Babe-for-Bloodsuckers damsel protagonist, it’s Lucy!
Director 100: ...Shouldn’t it be Jonathan?
Directors 1-99: what
Director 100: I mean, in both Dracula and the cut prologue, “Dracula’s Guest,” Jonathan Harker gets sought out by the most lusty/bloodlusting vampires, period. In “Dracula’s Guest,” he gets approached by a vampire woman in a tomb, then an entire graveyard full of eager vampires in a storm, all of whom he was only shielded from because Dracula was stalking him in his giant wolf form and literally laid on top of him as protection while he howled to get the villagers’ attention. Then he left after tasting Jonathan’s neck.
When Jonathan finally gets to the castle in the novel itself, Dracula destroys his personal space and imprisons him outright, full gothic heroine style, and at one point undresses and redresses Jonathan while he’s unconscious--after rescuing him from the three vampire girlfriends who hypnotize and try to take turns preying on the guy, which they and the Count go out of their way to call ‘kissing’ him. With the latter setup being only the first of multiple attempts from the ladies.
Point being, if anybody should get acknowledged as the resident vampire magnet and damsel in distress with unwanted toothy intimacy issues in a new adaptation, it should be Jonathan Harker.
Directors 1-99: ...
Director 100: ...
Directors 1-99: We always figured him and Dracula were just good friends
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[roommates au]
Dahyun felt a little dumb.
Thanks for taking care of me during my total mental breakdown, sorry for involving you in my trauma, here’s a cake!
She took a deep breath and steadied herself. She’d been avoiding Mina and Jihyo for a couple days. She couldn’t face them after showing up in tears to throw their Tuesday night into turmoil; their two kindhearted, friendly neighbors who didn’t ask for any of the drama that followed Kim Dahyun. Who hadn’t refused her when she’d shown up on their doorstep, shaking with fear and only the haziest of memories of the previous hour.
They were happy to help, Dahyun. Chaeyoung had reassured after her profuse apologies. They’re our friends. They’d do it again in a heartbeat.
But Chaeng had smiled warmly this morning when Dahyun mentioned she might stop by to thank them after work; they’re just concerned, she’d said, not nosy. They just want to make sure you’re okay. The last time you saw them, you weren’t okay. If they ask something you’re not ready to answer, they’d never be upset with you for setting a boundary. Okay?
Another deep breath. She knocked on the door.
A few seconds before it swung open to reveal Jihyo, an apron tied around her waist. Dahyun nervously peered back. Jihyo’s confusion melted into a smile.
“Dahyun.” She whispered warmly. Dahyun winced. She didn’t want Jihyo to have to tiptoe around her. “It’s so good to see you. You look like you feel a bit better.”
“I do… I just.. wanted to say thank you. And I’m sorry.”
“Please, we all need a little company from time to time, right?”
“I guess, but, I - I didn’t mean to just… to dump all of that on you. There’s really no reason I couldn’t have just handled-”
“Dahyun.” Jihyo cut her off softly. “Want to come inside?”
She paused, but nodded. Jihyo led her to the living room and urged her to sit at the barstools facing the kitchen counter. Dahyun obliged and watch her get back to work – she’d been kneading some sort of dough.
“Fresh whole wheat sourdough. Mina’s favorite.” She explained with a chuckle. “She got called in again today, so I figured I’d give her something nice to come home to.”
“That sounds nice.”
“Yeah, the recipe makes two. We never manage to finish them both before one goes stale. I was going to drop one off to you guys.”
“Oh. Thank you very much.”
Jihyo smiled and focused on kneading again, tongue poking out in concentration. Dahyun was a little confused; she expected a lecture when Jihyo invited her in, or … something. She cleared her throat.
“I, um, I was saying… I made you this cake. As a thank you and an apology.”
“I will accept it as a thank you, but not an apology.” She said. “And to the thank you I say: of course, Dahyun. Any time. Truly, you two moving in here has brought more light to our life. Tzuyu’s excited to have friends more like her, Nayeon and Jeongyeon think you’re both adorable, and you make Mina and I smile whenever we see you. I consider you a friend, and that means if you need a little help I’m going to be here for you.”
Dahyun was quiet. Her brain seemed caught between ‘Jeongyeon thinks I’m cute?’ and ‘How have I managed to be surrounded by so many angels on earth?’
“But I will not accept an apology for something you shouldn’t be apologizing for. For something someone else did to you, that you had no control of and no fault in the situation.”
Jihyo had stopped working again, maintaining some intense eye contact. For something someone else did to you. Did they know? Had Chaeyoung told them? Did they guess? Dahyun’s mind raced.
Jihyo seemed to sense her panic. “Chaeyoung did show Mina the letter, but didn’t tell us anything further than she knows your parents messed with your inheritance. And found out your rent. Super illegal, by the way, I already messaged the landlord to scold him for disclosing it without permission.” Jihyo said. Dahyun’s heart raced. She didn’t want any trouble caused in her name… she wanted to forget this happened. “One of Mina’s cousins is a lawyer, we can-”
“No. No, no, it’s okay. N-no lawyers.”
Jihyo gave a slow nod. “Okay. No lawyers. But the offer is there. You deserve what was left for you.”
“I don’t want to think about it. What’s done is… it’s done.” Dahyun said. “I… I don’t think I’ll cash the check unless we really need it. I gave it to Chaeyoung to hold onto.”
Jihyo nodded again. She looked like she wanted to say more about the inheritance. Dahyun desperately wanted her not to.
“Do you have panic attacks like that often?” She asked, instead. Dahyun was taken aback by the question. “Mina has panic attacks, too, you know. So we’re no stranger to them. Have you ever talked to a doctor about it?”
“Uh.” Dahyun cleared her throat. The room was suddenly too hot, she noticed. “I… when I was a bit younger, I used to have them often. Often. N-not so much anymore, so I haven’t gone to a doctor… I just… Don’t like hearing from my family. We don’t have the best relationship.”
She met eyes with Jihyo again. Please drop it, she begged. Her heart was beginning to race. Please.
Jihyo took a deep breath. She nodded, and went back to kneading. “Well we’re always here if you feel unsafe. Or just want someone to talk to. Never be afraid to knock on the door. Or call us. Got it? We’ll always answer, Dahyun.”
Dahyun nodded quickly, warmth blooming in her chest at Jihyo’s words. Tears prickled in the corners of her eyes, embarrassingly.
“Is that okay?”
She could only nod again, sniffling. Jihyo was quick to wash and dry her hands and walk out of the kitchen, around the counter, taking Dahyun’s hands in her own.
“Can I hug you?”
Dahyun nodded.
Jihyo’s hug was enveloping; she was warm and comforting and smelled like clean laundry and fresh-baked bread. Dahyun felt herself un-tense, relax in the woman’s grip as she ran a hand up and down her back.
“You guys are so kind.” Dahyun whispered, eyes shut. “We’ve only known each other a few months and I don’t know what I did to deserve the kindness you all show me.”
“You deserve kindness. You don’t have to do anything to earn it. Okay?”
Dahyun squeezed her eyes shut harder. “Why are you so good at this?”
Jihyo chuckled. “I’m only telling you the truth.” She smoothed her hair back. “And I give fantastic hugs. That’s a known fact.”
Dahyun laughed, but nodded in agreement.
“You’re feeling better now, though?”
“I am.” She whispered.
“Good. Have you ever made bread before?”
Dahyun shook her head.
“Wanna learn? If you have time.”
She nodded.
“Perfect. Go grab Mina’s apron on the back of the pantry door and wash your hands.”
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Dracula Daily May 4th thoughts:
-I like that Jonathan goes back to correct himself and specifies that maybe this guy really doesn’t understand his German? He’s just pretty sure he does (or has) but isn’t confident enough in his German-speaking to rule out the possibility that this one’s on him.
-Jonathan. My man. These are some HUGE red flags, mate. Having a job is great, being alive is better.
-“Not by any means comforting” Yeah, I’ll say!
-The alignment of Jonathan’s trip with a night of evil… If this was intentional on Dracula’s part, the whole situation feels extra insidious.
-Jonathan trying to comfort the lady trying to save his life is so telling of his character.
-The crucifix!! Don’t take it off aghhh…
-“For your mother’s sake” for an orphan. Makes me feel some feelings.
-“If this book shall ever reach Mina before I do, let it bring my goodbye.” well… ouch.
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