#straight up i think if i hadn't been on here at 13 during that whole phase i would've gotten help much sooner

[evergardenwall]

The new Jason liker is back! Honestly-- maybeeee jasico is winning out after scrolling thru some blogs 👀👀👀

If you have a second, love to hear why you love the ship / what drew you to it

oooohh 👀 feel free to share more of your jason thoughts here! i would love to read them :^)

as for my jasico journey. well. there's how i was first drawn to the ship when i was younger, and there's how i actually joined the fanbase and read fics when i revisited my pjo/hoo phase in 2021....which makes not just one but two origin stories!

so. first of all, you need to know that when i first started reading heroes of olympus, i was already obsessed with nico from reading the pjo series before, and also related to him a lot re: the rejection he faced and his feelings of alienation from both camp half-blood and camp jupiter....it's actually mind-blowing to think abut how my eleven years-old baby queer (who didn't know they were not straight yet) self completely latched onto him, both had a crush and projected onto this character, would spend hours looking at fanart and have their friend drawing shippy art of them with him-- yes, this is a thing that happened (and yes, i was one of those younger nico fangirls back in 2014... kind of cringe, i know, but that's part of why i still am attached to him to this day! he is so important to me! and hey, i turned out not to be a girl so 👀). LIKE. hello. younger sam. i know what you are

and then, house of hades happened; the cupid scene and nico having a crush on percy and actually becoming canonically gay had a stupidly huge impact on me. like, yeah, heroes of olympus is objectively the least good series riordan has written in terms of writing quality, but i would not be the same person today if hadn't read it 😞 and it's my favorite rip

i remember reading hoh for the first time back in february 2014, after a day out in paris with my grandmother during which i had dragged her to a bookstore because it had just been published in france, and feeling shaken to my core -- in a good way --, so closely drawn to this character for a reason i could not articulate. and there was jason's reaction, the way he also was drawn to nico, and his support for hades' son, later sealed with the chalice scene in blood of olympus. which was probably one of the gayest jasico scenes. btw (in my opinion, at least. and frank's pov is so fucking funny). so i was like... 'oh my god. jason and nico. [cannot articulate why they love the later beginning of friendship they have going on so much]' and completely latched onto them, but without realising it nor sharing it with other fans this time! because i was too embarrassed!

i already liked jason as a character before the cupid scene, but his chapters in house of hades and blood of olympus as well as his whole identity crisis storyline, torn between greeks and romans, made me love this character even more. imo, his best scenes are in these two books (although after re-reading the lost hero, i have grown to appreciate this book's jason a lot... thinking about when he meets thalia and the moments with leo 🥺)-- and i loved his dynamic with nico. i didn't openly ship them, because i was too intimidated too explore non-canon pairings back then, until i got into jercy on wattpad (it was certainly another time wdxwshdjs). at this moment, not only reading these silly little fics made me more confident in being a jason fan who read him as bi (because i was 13-14 back then, and all my friends at the time thought he was lame and straight), but it inspired me to write a tiny jasico fic, which i never finished but hey, the passion was there :)

after that, i got into so.langelo for a couple of years-- i wasn't familiar with archive of our own, nor fluent in english, which didn't help me finding content besides from minuiko's work (i regularly stalked her blog despite not having a tumblr account) and amvs with stolen fanart on youtube, so i ended up continuing to keep my interest in jasico for myself. seeing nico having a canon boyfriend when toa started releasing had me very excited, although i didn't really care about will..... (whereas i strongly dislike so.langelo but have a lot of headcanons about will as an individual character now. lol.)

fast forward to 2021: for a reason i can't remember (perhaps the first pjo adaptation news? having met my cousin's girlfriend and talked about the books -- and jason! -- with her very enthusiastically? someone putting random fanart on my dash? the world will never know), i decided to start re-reading pjo for the first time in a while, and because i was finally on tumblr, i decided to look at the different tags to see if jasico had a fanbase... and fell into the rabbit hole! and here i am now, sharing conspiracy theories 😞 /j

more seriously, my 2021 obsession with jasico was the first time i actually gave coherent thought to this pairing besides from the Vibes i was getting when i was younger, and rediscovered the things that made me love each character when i was younger. and oh my god, jason... i projected onto jason so much.

it was very comforting, too, like reuniting with old friends, and somehow made me understand a new thing or two about myself. i love the parallels between jason and nico's storylines and how compelling their pairing is from a narrative viewpoint. like. it makes SENSE. on that topic, i will never stop linking this presentation because it analyses the whole thing so well and i wish i could be this articulate instead of just being like.... poetic cinema reaction picture dot jpg. (my mutuals are way smarter than me. go follow them 🔫)

but anyway, long story short: jasico is very Good and i'm glad to see it's kind of becoming relevant again? <- i am unsure of whether we're witnessing a renaissance or if it's just my dash having a mass hysteria event... but i *am* seeing jasico posts getting more notes than usual and it is intriguing so 👀

#okay also i saw a post making fun of swifties over-interpreting her lyrics and it made me a bit self conscious like...what if my rants #analysing jasico have been sounding the same the whole time 😭 #but hey they *do* have more chemistry than so.langelo (and less ableism) sooooo #(and the fics are beautifully written) #replies #anon #jasico #jason grace #nico di angelo

[whumpsday]

i could be totally off base here but i feel like one of the reasons that grown up Bellamy (i can’t spell i am sorry bellamy) during Jim Whump Era made Kane so uncomfortable is that he’s very flamboyant and queer coded, and Kane has that whole forced heteronormativity closeted gay guy thing going on so he’s really uncomfortable when confronted with anything that could make him feel not straight feelings

obviously the main reasons is that the vampires think bellamy is a worse laughing stock than kane (if i remember the ball chapters correctly) but i feel like the whole Not Straight and Desperately Trying To Conform thing plays into it

cw: discussions homophobia & homophobic family members

you are actually off base! bellamy's been out FOREVER. came out to kane when he was 14 and kane was 13. kane was the first person he explicitly told, but most other people guessed before then when he started being openly gnc (kane was too oblivious and had to be told directly). kane, in his teenage years, repeatedly told people (usually anton) to fuck off after they made homophobic comments to or about bellamy.

but kane and bellamy occupy veeeery different spaces socially. kane is the black sheep, even trying as hard as he can he can't be seen in good standing. every fuckup is another tally against him, and in his circles, that includes being any kind of lgbt. in kane's eyes, he couldn't afford to be anything but straight, so it wasn't even worth considering. bellamy on the other hand is the prodigy, the pride and joy of his family. his family are far from thrilled that he's gay, but they're willing to "look past it" due to everything else. i think this ask i answered from anton's perspective sums it up nicely. the main thing is that he renounced the nobility and their traditions- him being gay is just a footnote in comparison. if he hadn't done what he did, he could have lived an easy life due to his status. not many would dare to question him. his rank would quiet most homophobia he could have experienced. if KANE had been out as gay or bi, his circumstances would be extremely different. very very bad for him. so he subconsciously just buried it.

the reason bellamy made kane uncomfortable during the jim's captivity arc had nothing to do with that. he can't be seen associating with bellamy because then everyone's going to think less of him, and he NEEDS to be seen in a good light. also the last time they interacted (85 years prior) was them having a huge fight. literally went from ride-or-die best friends to no-contact in a single night. (bellamy tried to write kane letters for years afterwards but kane never responded)

btw kane doesn’t know jim is gay because he never asked.

#ask #k&j ask

[digitalcherub]

i want a documentary on 2016 tumblr and how it set mental health awareness back by 50 years

#u Must rot in ur own sadness and if u experience any amount of happiness #ur faking it and we'll make a 10k word callout post for u at dawn #SERIOUSLY what was with 2016 tumblr and everyone being like #like..being horribly miserable isnt hashtag relatable u just.....need to see a therapist #straight up i think if i hadn't been on here at 13 during that whole phase i would've gotten help much sooner #cherub.txt #SORRY i know nobody follows me for my hashtag Deep Thoughts but i think about this a lot

[qianoir]

After Midnight 3 - Stars

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: college dropout!Ten (WayV) x fem!reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: non-idol au, angst with fluff on top

𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 13+

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cursing (censored), lying, family problems, mentions death of reader's father, romance

♡ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.9K

𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭: @staysstrays

Preview < 1 < 2 < 3

Your head was pounding from your ears drinking in the tantrum of a 3 year old boy, the cries diving straight into your ringing eardrums. A young couple showed up with their child who started offing himself about your café not having some made up hybrid cake he wanted for the last 10 minutes.

The boy started flailing around and knocked his mother's iced Americano out of her hand in the process, landing the freezing and pungent liquid all over you.

The LED clock above you flickered with a new hour, freeing you from the café’s dark roasted chains. You ripped the soaked apron over your head and stuffed it into the back room’s washing machine before taking hold of your belongings and rushing out of the building after saying a quick “good-bye” to your mother- who was not about to deal with the coddled boy and you leaving all at once, so she kicked the spoiled family out, them following your irritated trail on the way through the doors.

You were walking fast to have a little costume change before meeting up with Ten and his friends, 5 o’clock coming within the next 20 minutes.

Y/N

Heyyo I had a little accident at work so I'm going to stop by my place to clean up before heading over to yours.

Once you were in your own space, you peeled the rest of the coffee soaked clothing off of your body, sticking the wet collection into the washer to cold soak after dressing up nicely.

TEN

d.amn it y/n you are too old to be soiling yourself

???

Y/N

That’s not what I meant!

TEN

Whatever ;p

Stepping out into the bright evening air, you realized you don't even know where the hell to go. The napkin with the address was in the pocket of your apron washing back at the café.

You recognized the street that leads to Décalcomanie, the street that leads to Myeongdong, and one leading to a duck shop.

Admitting defeat, you texted Ten.

Y/N

hey so I left the napkin with your address in my apron.. which I don't have would you mind sending it to me?

TEN

such a handful~

You followed the GPS to his address. His apartment building was on the other side of your school you usually metro to, so it was a pretty tiring walk. Arriving fashionably late, you knocked on door number 117.

There was a lot of commotion and screaming, as you were previously informed. Finally, Ten opened the door and waved for you to come in.

Taking your shoes off at the entrance, you saw three guys tackling each other, two others playing video games, and one really fine looking man behind an island in the kitchen.

"Hello!!" One of the guys being tackled shouted and waved at you which got him punched in the back by the guy orchestrating the tackling. You hesitantly waved back "Hi Y/N!!" The boy in the kitchen said with a charming smile.

"Lovely place." You said to Ten with a giggle as he closed the door with an annoyed look on his face. "Y/N, these are my friends,"

He took you over to the couch where the two players were. "This is Sicheng and Xuxi," The two boys playing Mario Kart threw a glance your way and waved with a smile. "these fools are Hendery, Xiaojun, and Yangyang.."

Hendery strained to wave again under the two boys with a big smile on his face, as did the two others. Ten swayed you into the kitchen and introduced you to the last man. This guy was so handsome, like the Asian bachelor. "I'm Kun." The man greeted, kindly.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Y/N. Our Ten always talks about you." Yangyang says walking towards you two. Ten sent him a glare. "Is that so?"

"At least I'm not blind from having my head up my ass all day, Yangyang shut up!" His voice cracked, making you and Yangyang erupt in laughter.

"Anyways, if you'll excuse us- I invited Y/N here for us to be alone." He took your wrist in his grasp and led you to a room.

Ten pet a space on the bed for you to sit down while he leaned over his desk, searching on his laptop. A slow beat filled the room. You recognized this song- the song your dad would play for your mom in the car on long road trips: Something by The Beatles.

Something in the way she moves

attracts me like no other lover

Something in her style that shows me

I don’t want to leave her now

you know I believe and how.

Your parents were so in love. When your father first heard this song, he had made it their special theme to portray their love. They had both become big fans of The Beatles and always had this song pop up at least once in every holiday or event playlist or could be caught quoting it occasionally when the timing was right. Your heart sank in your chest at the memory.

You hadn't realized that the song had ended or that Ten was at your side watching you intently. You looked up at him and he offered a small smile.

"My parents used to listen to this song all the time."

"Really? Are you guys close?"

Your mouth felt sour hearing the inevitable question. “My dad died from pneumonia when I was younger. My mom tries to be present for me, but I know she misses him.” Tears puddled at your waterline as you forced yourself not to cry. “Sometimes I think she only keeps trying because she thinks I’m studying premed when I really hide pointe shoes in my closet. I don’t have the heart to tell her what I’m really majoring in.. because I’m terrified of us losing each other completely and frankly, she would never forgive me of my dishonesty if she would stay.”

"It's not wrong.. following your passion" Ten announced after a whole note of silence, "I'm sorry for making you bring up such a past, but I’m happy I can at least sympathize with you..” He looked away from you to recall his memories clearly.

“My parents didn't agree with me wanting to study dance either. And they certainly did not agree with me leaving my hometown in Thailand and dropping out of college to come here for the best art opportunities. Mine and the rest of the guys outside; all of us are a little more distant from our family than usual just because we are passionate." Ten confessed.

"I'm sorry." You weakly rasped.

"I'm not." Ten smiled at you.

"My friends and I are doing what we love without anyone holding us back and one day it's going to all pay off.. I know it will.. If it wouldn't I would have never dropped out."

You could understand where he was coming from. He is really passionate and faithful to his dreams, it is a little inspiring.

"And you seem to be doing good on your own, too. You're studying dance, which I'm sure you're amazing at, and working at the café to help your mom, letting people make a mess of you that you always undoubtedly pick yourself up from." You laughed, the sad tears rolling down your cheeks and turning to bittersweet tears of joy.

"Thank you, Ten."

"Anytime, Y/N." He handed you a napkin for your eyes.

A cough was heard outside the closed door, along with faint whispers.

"Lucas, shut the HELL up!"

Ten got up and opened the door, making four boys come tumbling inside the room.

All rushing to get up, Lucas stayed laying on the floor, "Uh, hi guys." he offered a charming smile. "We were just coming to tell you that dinner is ready?" Yangyang shrugged obviously.

Ten snickered.

"Nice try, guys-"

"Dinner is ready!" Kun yelled from the kitchen.

"What did I tell you?" Yangyang stuck out his tongue, cockily. Ten rolled his eyes and looked over at you,

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Uhm-"

"She is staying, I already made her a plate!" Kun yelled once again from the kitchen. The other boys ran out of the doorway to the kitchen.

"I guess it's settled then..." Ten sighed and reached his hand out to you, which you took. You were led into the dining room where the other boys sat. Ten placed you in a chair next to his and Kun’s.

Kun had made zhajiangmian, a Chinese traditional celebration/comfort food aka Chinese spaghetti. It tasted so much better than the bread pastries and milk teas you had been living off of in the past year.

Everyone was very talkative during dinner, you even found out that Ten choreographs his own dances for himself and the others to perform and learned that Kun has a degree in music from a prestigious university in Beijing. The boys you had dinner with were really fun to be around and gave you lots of energy after the intricate start to the new semester.

You didn't realize how lonely your little apartment was until now, even when sharing it with your mother most nights. They made you feel so comfortable and content after lacking companionship since your high school days. Also the food was really good, thanks to Kun.

Everybody finished their food but still continued the little chat at the dinner table "And this one time, Ten ate butter thinking it was ice cream! Who does that!?" Yangyang finished off his story punching the table with laughter.

You glanced at the time on your phone. It was almost 10 o'clock and you had to get to sleep early for your new 8 AM class.

Ten turned to you when he felt short tugs at his hoodie. "Cinderella has to get home?"

The room got quiet with Ten’s words, but quickly exploded in a swarm of whines and begs for you to stay. You gave them an apologetic smile.

Ten stood up, pulling me with him, "I'll walk you home." He was already at the door, kicking on his shoes. Everyone bid you good-bye as you waved to all of them before you and Ten were out the door.

"It's this way." You motioned in the direction of your apartments. Ten nodded and followed your path. It was silent the whole way, but it was a nice silence. It was peaceful with just you two. Arriving soon, you  stopped in front of the entrance and turned around to look at Ten.

"Thank you for having me over, I really enjoyed it. Your friends are really nice."

"Of course. I’m really glad you came. I like spending time with you and I think my friends do as well."

Smiles were exchanged and hearts skipped, both of your breathing patterns were evident in each other’s dialogue. "Do you have any last lyrics before we end the night?"

Your building never shines like the others in its distance. The only light around you is the one that blooms in space and allows the stars to twinkle down to where you stand. Ten took your chin is his hand and created perfect eye contact:

"Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you. And all the things that you do.”

He tossed your chin up before walking off into the night.

To Be Continued…

Something by The Beatles

Yellow by Coldplay

𝘲𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘳

#wayv x reader #nct x reader #ten x reader #wayv imagines #wayv fluff #wayv angst #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct angst #ten imagines #ten fluff #ten angst #qianoir

[steeltoss]

Pre Naruto — Naruto Headcanons. Ages 9-15.

I have nothing better to do while my phone is dying.

Age 9

We're starting here since I'm working on something already. Okay so the day her whole clan was obliborated and sent straight to Jesus, Hokkaido was taken from Konoha under the Third's order. From there, she went to an orphanage in Amegakure.

The orphanage wasn't too bad, but Hokkaido couldn't help missing Konohagakure. She wanted to leave the orphange and debated running away.

However, she didn't get to run away as a couple who never had children together spotted this lonely dark haired girl and wanted to adopt her. This led to confusion. Someone genuinely wanted to adopt her, a broken child?

They did adopt her. But she was quiet, confused even.

The lady was one of the most beautiful ladies she had ever seen, complete with Auburn hair and deep green eyes and a pallor complexion. Her new mother's name was Emi Suzuki of the Hidden Rain.

The man was strong, and he looked very mean, but he wasn't. Hokkaido just didn't know that yet. He had short, messy Sandy blonde hair and cocoa colored eyes. This was Shindou Suzuki, a very strong Shinobi of the Hidden Rain.

Upon going to her new home, things were very different. This family was patient with her learning and never pushed her too much, they had accepted her as if she really were their own child. But she didn't want to call them mom or dad because she only ever had one mom and one dad.

Hokkaido was given a nice room with a twin sized bed and a desk for schoolwork, Emi enjoyed buying her stuffed animals, her favorite was her stuffed panda that somehow made her think of Shisui. She slept with it every single night.

Entering the academy, she made two friends that she held close to her heart.

Aito Fugikame, a small and dark haired girl with violet eyes who reminded her of Hinata Hyūga from Konoha, maybe that's why she enjoyed her company so much.

Eiji Yamada, a brunette make who seemed a little idiotic but super friendly and was outcasted for being such a loveable idiot. This was in ways, her Naruto of Amegakure.

She began to adjust to her new life, the pain seemingly subsiding as she always came home to a hot meal and was called Yua, (and it literally means binding love and affection) by Emi.

Things were starting to go great, and for once after the massacre, Hokkaido Uchiha was smiling as she came home. But she missed her brother, Sasuke. She wondered how he was doing in Konoha.

Age 10

Having a good birthday, she blew the candles out on her cake before hiding her face in her hands. She was crying but didn't know why. Sure, she was happy, but how long would it last without her only other blood relative?

The trio [Hokkaido, Aito and Eiji] often roamed the village together and practiced their skills together, she finally perfected her Fireball Jutsu.

That's when people began looking at her all weird, she was an outsider, and they knew just how strong the Uchiha clan was.

Aito's mother wouldn't let her visit nor talk to Hokkaido anymore. This was the downfall.

Hokkaido shut herself off, she barely exited her room unless it was to eat or go to school.

Age 11

Emi had conceived her first daughter this year and she seemed rather focused upon the new baby that was due to arrive in July. Hokkaido was conflicted on how to feel, she was once her foster parents primary focus, and it seemed they had less and less time for her now. She never brought it up. She was still grateful she was given a family.

In July, Emi gave birth to a healthy little girl named Ichika. Hokkaido wanted eagerly on the front steps of their house, but was only met with a sullen faced Shindou and a baby in his arms. Emi was no where around.

Later that evening, Shindou had explained that Emi had passed on, and that Hokkaido was now rightfully the woman of the house.

Even though Emi wasn't her biological mother, Hokkaido was broken again. She had lost two mother's in her life. This was the very first time she cried over someone who wasn't related to her in any way.

But Ichika reminded her so much of Emi. She had beautiful Auburn hair and a buttoned nose, just like Emi. And Hokkaido would constantly talk to the growing child about how amazing their mother was.

At the time, she hadn't even realized she reffered to Emi as her own mother. She just knew she missed her more than anything.

Age 12

Celebrating Ichika's first birthday wasn't how she ever imagined it to be. Emi wasn't there to see her daughter grow up, she hadn't even gotten to see Hokkaido graduate from the Academy and become a genin.

Hokkaido was put in a squad with Aito and Eiji, but things were still tense with herself and Aito. Hokkaido never knew how to process her emotions. She used to go to Itachi or Shisui for things like that. But Shisui had died a year before the massacre.

This year also happens to be the year Hokkaido got her menstrual cycle. She went into a panic, thinking she was dying and bleeding out. After all, she really didn't have a grown female figure to turn to about this.

She was embarassed to even tell Shindou, but he was very calming and understanding. He explained she was becoming a woman and even gave her the birds and bees talk. She was disgusted.

Sasuke is now ten, and she wonders how he's doing. She debated on writing him a letter, but out of nervousness, she doesn't.

Age 13

Hokkaido spent a lot of her time doing activities as she was now co sidered am elder sibling by Ichika. Ichika was walking and talking and every day passing, looked more like Emi.

Hokkaido began training for her chunin exams, which, were coming up very shortly. She spent many hours training with her squad a day and had often had to be retrieved by Shindou.

Shindou often scolded her for overworking herself as he forced her to drink plenty of water and eat her greens. He was only looking out for his eldest after all.

Upon the day of the exams, Hokkaido finds out all three of her squad had to sign up. And they had. They are now officially beginning their journey as chunin.

The first exam, she nearly crapped a brick. The written test was hard and she knew nothing. But she still tried her hardest, hearing and seeing others being disqualified for cheating. Her heart was hammering in her chest.

Afterwards, when she found out the objective was to cheat without being caught, she literally facepalms herself because she hadn't even thought of cheating. And then that damned question was asked.

Back at the exam, the proctor states that the candidates are free to choose whether or not they want to try and solve the tenth question. If they opt out, the entire team will fail. If they choose to answer the question but get it wrong, they will be barred from taking the Chūnin Exams forever.

Hokkaido's heart hit her guts. She was afraid of never becoming a chunin. But she pressed forward, only to find out the tenth question was already asked. The question was to test their determination and bravery.

Since I'm a lazy bastard and ive worked on this almost all damn day, I'm moving forward.

During the one on one fights, Hokkaido was matched against Kabuto Yakushi. [you know. Cuz this mf kept taking the exams cuz he a spying little-]

She lost.

She lost.

She didn't become a chunin on her first try, but congratulated Aito and Eiji upon becoming Chunin.

Age 14

Sasuke was finally old enough to take his own chunin exams and they were being hosted in Konohagakure! Hokkaido was estatic, she was finally going home to Konohagakure, even if it was just for the exams.

The exams started the same, and she passes. She couldn't help but keep glancing toward her brother however, a tugging on her heart. He hadn't even looked her way.

She wondered if he forgot her. He hadnt.

After the written exams, they prepared for the second part. Hokkaido was paired with two Amegakure genin.

However, a red haired sand ninja with a foul attitude caught her eye. Gaara.

Another skip, I'm half dead.

Anyway,, she became a chunin because of the circumstances and after the fight with Gaara and Naruto, Hokkaido goes home back to Amegakure.

Sasuke had changed so much, her little brother was growing up.

Age 15

Hokkaido had been caring for Ichika and tried being a great big sister to the four year old who somehow ended up looking up to her like she had to Itachi. It left her heart hurting a little.

Still, she would sometimes think back to that red haired boy.

She often ignored it because she didn't want to even tell Shindou about a possible boy she liked, let alone one that was so damn destructive.

Things were going well, and she was being sent on a mission to Konohagakure soon. This mission, however, required her to move away for six months. She would be aiding the Fifth Hokage, Tsunade.

She wondered why she was chosen for such a thing...

Okay. That's rushed but there. Heres her OG Naruto Headcanons. Shippuden comes next. Feedback is much appreciated. Nah this isn't proofread either.

#naruto rp #closed rp #copyeyes #apollo talks #apollo writes #naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto uzumaki #sabaku no gaara #akatsuki #original content #original story #original character #original work #original rp #shinobu kochou #shippuden rp #shisui uchiha #shino aburame #shikadai #shounen #Headcanons

[seenashwrite]

do we know anything about john winchester's parents, besides Henry? Do you have any speculation as to why the boys were named after Mary's parents? We learn from Henry that he hadn't abandoned young John. Thanks to Abaddon. But I need more!

Ah, an autopsy. Everybody gown up. Grab the rib spreader. This is gonna be a good one. Characters like Millie are my most favorite when it comes to writing in the vein of “based on…” and “adapted by…” because we have little information on them, meaning we can fill in those cracks ourselves, but at the same time? In this case, at least? The little bit we’ve got on Millie holds a lot.

Brief disclaimer: I am of the opinion that the writers (excepting Kripke, who was playing the long game with a five-year plan) aren’t doing as much foreshadowing and employing other sneaky-tricksy, deep-seated literary gambits as I’ve noted more than a few viewers assert; it seems to me that the writers backtrack and use past plot points (broadly, that is - evidence has shown us that, on the whole, they aren’t precise canon adherents) to bolster present/immediate-future arcs. However, it gives us the opportunity to expound upon the more minute things/characters they’ve forgotten about and/or left to languish.

Let’s do a list of knowns vs. unknowns about The Mysterious Mrs. Winchester, because the former’s more important than the latter when getting our brains on task for an adaptation/based-upon piece, a.k.a. fanfiction. I have used her as a pivotal player (in the backstory) for my big story, so minus some specific lines I just pulled from a script, the following is coming from my (canon-based) notes. You have come to the right person #humbly #not really #Millie’s my jam 

Check this out.

Millie has only come up twice in the show, most recently on Lady Antonia “Brain-Diddle” Bevell’s grossly incomplete mood board, then in a flashback during a conversation between Henry and Josie. Watch your step for that turd of exposition dump up top:

Catch that? 

Item #1: Millie is aware of Henry’s job / The MoLs

Perhaps she’s even met Josie - decent speculation, Josie is her husband’s partner, at least for now, in the context of their novice/initiate status, and Josie felt comfortable referring to Millie by name to Henry, vs. saying “Your wife is lucky to have you.”

To what degree is Millie in-the-know? Specifically, is she aware of the paranormal bend of it all? That’s a crack we can fill. She could very well be under the impression this is some sort of niche government division.

I vote “no”. I think Henry would’ve said, “Except she doesn’t know, Josie. She doesn’t know what we deal with, how dangerous the work can be. All she’d know is that she’s become a widow….”

A little sidebar to bolster my claims of her being in the know - whether Henry had, in the past, started tip-toeing down the road of cluing in John on his work is unknown, but he sure as shit was starting to edge there based on the whole “What’s that pin mean” - “You’ll find out” exchange. Now, Henry’s smart, and smart people know that telling your offspring to keep things secret from the other parent is a dumbass move, from beans to beanstalks, and particularly when they’re in mouthy toddler beansprout stage, that crew can’t keep anything secret, it ain’t how they’re wired.

So Millie knows, and I think Millie knows about the bumps in the night. I think she knows Henry’s father and grandfather were members. And she knows that means John’s on deck. And she knows that’s bad news. Here’s why.

Item #2: Millie & John move from Illinois

Henry went missing in ‘58, we’ve no idea when when she moved. Was she from Illinois? Did she move alone? Did she have family somewhere? Did she go there first? Did she go straight to Kansas? Why did she end up in Kansas? Nobody knows. We’ve zero knowledge of anything in this area. Plot away.

But we do have the knowledge she got herself and her son the hell outta Dodge. She left friends. Took John away from his friends. Left the house she shared with her husband. Again: did she lose the house? Did she not have a skill set that would’ve = decent employment? Do the MoLs not have some sort of killed-in-the-line-of-duty spousal/family payout? Was it a crappy one? Got me.

Point is, single motherhood is tough now, much less the further back in time you go. It’s possible she did just fine on her own.

But let’s talk probable.

Item #3: Millie remarried & put down roots in Kansas

When we meet adult John, a random in town tells him “Say hello to your old man for me.” 

[glances around] 

Cool.

Now, the writers - when they had to do the whole MoL thing in order to get us to the bunker so there was a stable set piece for consistency or budget or whatever - absolutely forgot this one-off comment that was made in the infancy of the show, guaranteed, hundred percent, no way I’m wrong. Same goes for the one-off “comes from a family of mechanics” line that some fans glom onto. 

These are canon misfires that piddled into the ocean, never tore through the hull of another ship, and are No Big Deal. [yes I know the difference between cannon and canon, I’m being cheeky, nobody “@” me] Upshot is, we get to stick it into the Millie file. Make stepdad a mechanic. Boom. Done.

In any event, I use the phrase “puts down roots” because this is where John returned to when he left the service, got a job as a mechanic, ultimately started dating this chick named Mary, so this was home. We can reasonably assume, then, that he’d lived there for most of his life, given how young he was when he signed up for the service*.

[* Note: I state vs. suggest because I have extensive character autopsies done on both John and Mary; I’ve covered a bit of my Mary diagnoses elsewhere; just letting y'all know it’s why I tend to state things about them vs. quantify it with “My impression is…”, etc., because I’ve got a decently robust pile of evidence to support my statements; J & M aren’t the topic here, though]

I actually like the misfire line about mechanics, and I like saying that stepdad is a mechanic, because it tracks with items #1-4 above, and gives us…

Item #5: Millie didn’t want John to be in the Men of Letters and made critical life choices to prevent such

Two points for this item:

—> She went from being the wife of an academic professional involved with covert ops to being the wife of a mechanic

This isn’t impossible or strange or noteworthy in-and-of itself. I’m not saying it is, not shitting on blue collar workers or persons who specialize in a trade vs. those on a scholarly track. I don’t mean to infer that Millie - as a single mom in the early ‘60s - lowered her standards or something, that she was desperate for a husband and took what she could get; on the contrary, based on how important knowledge and order was to Henry, how he looked down his nose at what he found to be the pedestrian lifestyle/life choices of hunters, I’d assert that Millie was quite intelligent and perhaps even “upper-crust”.

But that sharp turn, regardless of the impetus, does go to our Millie profile. It’s just interesting, that flip of her switch, especially when you combine it with the move from her established life with a young child.

—> She never told John the truth about Henry’s disappearance

Why? Why would you do that to your kid? Why would you allow him to have the impression - and the heartache from - believing he was abandoned?

Because - what trumps everything (or should) for a parent?

Protecting your kid.

The Namesake Question

Real answer: the characters didn’t exist at the time the show’s skeleton was being assembled.

Moving on to the answer(s) we can divine based on canon…

First obvious answer, on the Millie front, is they had two boys. Yeah, yeah, could’ve been “Miller” or her maiden name or something, and we don’t know their middle names, etc. Knock it out, throw it in as a plot point. And true, it’s not like they went with, say, Henry and Sam. The Dean character could’ve pulled off the nickname “Hank”, admittedly difficult as it is to imagine from our current vantage point. So, you’re right - it’s a thing. 

Again, I’ve long had autopsies done on John and Mary, adding to them over seasons 11-13 (when I started watching in real time), and those are lengthy, winding roads that do branch off of the Millie highway, but aren’t the topic here. Just a reminder that all the things I’m presenting below in a factual tone, I’ve got evidence to back it up.

Based on John and Mary’s behavior, their choices, their parenting styles, we can paint a pretty clear picture in our minds of their childhoods. For John, we’ve covered the broad sweeps of his to the extent we can by way of examining Millie. For Mary, we have more, and have seen her parents and their behavior, their choices, their parenting style. I don’t see the Campbells as putting family first above all (they put the mission first - sound like anyone else we know?), whereas Henry has been shown to love his wife and son more than anything, so had John been exposed to him? Wow. We probably wouldn’t recognize him.

But as it stands, John doesn’t have an instinctual reaction to put family above everything else. Neither does Mary, as we’ve since learned. Dean does, vehemently, and as Sam matured, his instinct has changed to be this way, as well. It happens - some of us, either purposefully or unintentionally, end up replicating our childhoods for our children; others, like Dean and Sam, strive to do the opposite. Even siblings growing up in the same environment can go different directions - it’s a crap shoot to a degree, whether when, upon leaving the house, you go out the front door or the back.

So while I don’t see that Mary was particularly close to Deanna and Samuel, I do find there’s enough to support that John wasn’t close at all to Millie. Absence of evidence does not = proof, true, so the lack of him talking about his mother alone doesn’t exactly make a solid case. Having said that, there’s multiple reasons (again-again, that’s for another time) based on solid evidence (i/e, John’s actions/decisions), which have me leaning towards he and his mother being anywhere from distant to estranged, not covering that list, but one that’s germane to our current topic is this:

When John got busy investigating Mary’s death - or letting folks assume he was working through his grief by ditching his business and checking out on being a father - he left Dean and Sam with Mike and Kate Guenther while he was off drinking and researching, perhaps others (and yes, Bobby later, but I’m talking about initially, in their hometown) if the Guenthers were unable, and who knows who all if he left for days at a time.

So why did John and Dean and Sam not ever stay with Millie? Why were Dean and Sam not left with their grandmother? She was right there.

Well, the answer is that the writers didn’t think of Henry (and by extension, Millie) til seasons later, but for us, it’s a crack that could be filled, a nice deep one, too. 

Three possibilities:

(1) Millie had died prior(2) Millie and John were not close, possibly estranged(3) Millie did help watch after Dean and Sam

Numbers 1 and 2 are plausible, and it actually could be both. Could also spin it to where Millie was dead, stepfather was alive (we have evidence of that, see above, RE: rando dude’s “Say hi to your old man for me”) and John wasn’t comfortable leaving Dean and Sam with him, or there was some reason the stepdad was unable to take care of them, or maybe John loved stepdad dearly and would have stayed with him/left the kids with him, but stepdad had died or remarried or moved away before Dean was born. Fill in that blank yourself.

I don’t find number 3 very probable, as it’s not mentioned in John’s journal. He specifically mentions Mike and Kate several times. He even mentions Missouri meeting Dean and Sam, how they really took to her immediately. He would’ve mentioned Millie.

I say all that to say, the lack of naming one of the boys after Henry is of note, but not mysterious for me because John was under the impression that his father ditched him and his mother. And, um...

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INT. DINER – DAY

We see a close-up of a black-and-white photograph of HENRY holding a baseball with his arm around a young boy holding a bat. HENRY is sitting at a table holding the photograph. DEAN and SAM are standing at the counter.

SAM Driver's license says he's Henry Winchester from Normal, Illinois. He knows Dad's birthday, the exact place where he was born. Dude, that's our grandfather.

DEAN I'm just saying before we break out the warm and toasties, let's not forget that, uh, H.G. Wells over there left Dad high and dry when he was a kid.

SAM But maybe he didn't run out on Dad – I mean, not on purpose. Maybe he time-traveled here and, I don't know, got stuck.

DEAN Yeah, well, either way, Dad hated the son of a bitch.

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So name-wise for the Winchester side? Miller, Mills, a maiden name - I can see something as a namesake for Millie still being plausible as one of their middle names; a Henry namesake never had a chance in hell. 

And despite neither John nor Mary behaving as if they truly buy into the whole FAMILY IS EVERYTHING stance, Samuel and Deanna died a horrible death, and not far away - it happened when both John and Mary were in the mix, Mary specifically. I don’t see her having to push very hard to get John on board with naming their kids after her parents following a shared traumatic experience.

Alrighty, then.

We can send some samples off to the lab, I hear the Stynes run a really thorough one not too far from here, but I’m pretty satisfied - pass me the sutures, time to tag and bag.

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That was gross, I’m so apologizing. 

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[whispers] I’m totes not. 😏

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