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#strange new dumb comics

curator-on-ao3 · 1 year

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Please everyone admire the Andorian Una that @emilie786 made for me and said I could post!!! 🥲🥲🥲

The backstory: I wrote a ficlet (from a prompt by @fiadorable) that included a disguised Una busting Chris out of an Orion slave market. With any alien disguise of the era possible, I chose for Una to be Andorian because @emilie786 loves Andorians (shout-out to her sideblog, @andorianicecave). So I made Una an Andorian for @emilie786, and @emilie786 made Una as an Andorian back for me using the excellent tool @star-trek-dumb-comics created and generously shared for everyone to use. AND THAT’S THE POWER OF FANDOM, PEOPLE! We listen and gift and lift each other up — and I love it! 💙💙💙

#una chin-riley #andorian una #(she has a certain ‘mystique’ about her yes?)#fandom meta #excellent people being excellent #star trek strange new worlds #star trek strange new worlds fanfic #emilie786 #fiadorable #star-trek-dumb-comics #in the name of the promoter & the art tool creator & the art maker #amen

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tacticalprincess · 1 month

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tw yandere elements, stalking 18+

stalker!könig who becomes infatuated with you the moment you show up at his doorstep and greet him with a pearly white smile, all dolled up and pretty, comically out of place in the run down apartments you live in. you’re a sight for sore eyes after being surrounded by death and destruction, far more appetizing to the man in front of you than the colorful cupcake you shove into his large hands. he knows he’s in for it when you excitedly announce that you’re his new neighbor.

stalker!könig who has a crippling fear of corrupting you. all of the evidence he’s gathered thus far points to him being good for nothing but inflicting pain and suffering. he knows someone as sweet as you has no business being affiliated with someone like him and for that reason, he doesn’t trust himself to be as close to you as he craves to be. he avoids direct contact with you at all costs, opting to admire you from afar in fear that he’ll taint you, should you fall into his greedy hands.

stalker!könig who hates that you’re always so bubbly and kind to him despite his brooding, aloof attitude. you’re too friendly for your own good, it’s oughta put you in danger one day, schatz. don’t you know that you shouldn’t be so inviting towards strange men?

he hates it because it makes him feel ten times worse when he’s alone in his room, fat cock heavy and drooling, brain riddled with the thought of you :( he hates himself for the things his depraved mind conjures up involving you, too dirty and dark for such an innocent angel. he feels guilty as he recalls the curve of your ass poking out of your skirt when you bent down to press your floor number on the elevator, the way your pretty little nipples stiffen against your shirt when you “forget” to wear a bra in the corridors, the way your big eyes shine up at him whenever you speak. when he’s fucking his aching dick into his rough fist, he can’t help but imagine it’s your much smaller, much softer hand, picturing how cute your pristine nails would look grazing along his hairy groin.

stalker!könig who doesn’t think of himself as a stalker, he prefers bodyguard that you just don’t know about yet. a guardian angel of sorts. he only has your best interests at heart, just wants to make sure you’re safe. or at least that’s what he tells himself when he finds himself with his hands around the neck of the guy who slid you his number on a napkin at your job. a napkin, really? did this pervert really think he was good enough for you? it doesn’t help that you smiled and blushed at him when you picked it up, always so lovely, even to those who don’t deserve it. dumb little girl, who knows what his intentions were with you…

you’re just so naive, little maus, if he doesn’t protect you from men like him, who will?

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dahfloofysmol · 1 month

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HELLO. This is the official post for YouTube kids’ surprise party on the 27th of March. Any and all gimmick blogs welcomed!

Some roles we need are:

-DJ [real-pollo-campero]

-great DJ (as per requested 🤨) [spotify-kids-real]

-video jockey [buildabearfr]

-Someone to make the cake [forever21-official]

-Puncher server [big-mayo-official]

-Decorator [barns-and-noble-official]

-Party crasher(s) [officialtinder and youtubefr and actually-kroger]

-Corner Person [Pinterest, yahooo-official, reallytimhortons]

-Person who’s dealing with a crazy sugar high [firewaysubs and zotap]

-Emotional support [walmart and def-bjs-guys]

-Mom [Krista the art program and Canadian tire] AND dad friend

-Birthday person IS taken (obviously lol)

-Someone to bring snacks [incognito-mode-official]

-Ring Leader (person in charge of the games) [totally-official-yahoo]

-person who performs a special but confusing (and overly translated) version of happy birthday [google translate ]

-piñata [firehouse-subs-fr]

-setting off fireworks [google-news-official]

-here for the food and bringing tWO DOGS!!! OMG DOGS!!!!! [swearification-and-cursing]

-person currently trying tO EAT THE CAKE!! STOP THAT!!! [shakespeare-official-account]

- stopping the Cake Eater [wow-google-maps]

- putting spiders (?????) under the cake [true-blue-straya]

- the person that is every bisexuals awakening [it’s-target-official]

-pops in for the last 5 minutes with a card + a store bought cake [the-real-google]

- gay wine uncle [the-McDonald’s]

- creepy uncle (???) [rick-e-chedder-official]

-single rich aunt who disappears every night at specifically 8:00 pm [totally-not-kraft-mac-and-cheese]

-shapeshifts between wine aunt and vodka uncle, and the comic relief [the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

- bringing lights so we aren’t all dancing in the dark [real-vivaldi-browser]

- summoning Satan under the table with a bottle of whiskey and pancakes (??????????) [definitely-canada]

-person asking weirdly specific and absurd questions [actual-aspec-military]

-the COOLEST cousin [support-speaks]

-cousin who hangs out in the corner and looks like they know something you dont [the-official-publix]

-person who hits on everyone at the party even though they’re already dating 2 ppl [fr-winn-dixie]

-contributes Ziploc® bags [totally-scjohnson]

-bringing burritos [the-real-chipotle]

-YouTube's kids southern aunt who blesses everyone's hearts bc they think theyre dumb most of the time [i-bless-your-heart]

-middle school cousin who argues with anyone and everyone to look cool [wallyworld-the-unofficial]

-gives oil (?????????????) and branded pens as party favors [truly-jcjenson]

-the strange neighbor kid who talks to no one but sings the loudest and brings a weird yet tasteful gift [the-real-aperture-science]

-bringing Walmart sugar cookies [not-really-discord]

-guy bringing the Knives [wheatley-labs-official]

-joining in on the games [totally-official-yahoo]

-the disco ball [jollibee-real]

-that one uncle with lore of untold numbers of deaths involved, and that includes guns [partycityistotallyofficailguy]

And any other role I haven’t stated!! I’ll accept pretty much anything

In case what you pick is already chosen, tag your second option ;p

—>The biggest part of the surprise party is wishing YouTube kids a happy birthday, but in the most creative way possible. In the “ask me” works, but literally anywhere; on your blog or on a post from anywhere (that you know they’d be okay with a little shenanigans) works wonderfully.

->Also, saying happy birthday is awesome, but spicing it up would be more fun!!! Day Of Birth, One of Awakening, Oh Child of the 27th, and any other batshit way to say “happy birthday” would both be awesome and absolutely hilarious.

Again, invite any and all gimmick blogs, and feel free to let me know what you’d want to do! We attack on the 27th >:DD

ADDITIONAL NOTE: sometimes there will be more than one person in each role! I do actively encourage for people to come up with silly and niche roles if you think of one ;D

ON THE 24th I WILL NO LONGER TAKE ROLLS!!!! Spread the word please!

@barnes-and-noble-official @basically-bumble @totallyofficialtacobell @totally-official-yahoo @totally-bing @officialtinder @officially-google-translate @officially-ikea @official-fedex @incognito-mode-official @forever21-offical @officialkfc @kfc-official @k-f-c-official @life360-i-swear @xgames-blog @cars-official @big-mayo-official @bingle-official @the-real-google @the-real-firefox @nasa @wow-google-maps @wallyworld-the-unofficial @walmart-the-official @realgoogleslides @realgoogledocs @yahooo-official @unfortunate-wattpad @firewaysubs @firefox-official @pinterest-real @spotify-kids-real @duothelingo @definitely-wikipedia @firehouse-subs-fr @google-2point0 @gimmick-thief

#BIRTHDAY PARTY #birth of party #party birth #YouTube kids is in for a treat #I’m not gonna like #IF I have time #IF #I will make a collaborative drawing of everyone and their roles #I think I will #but for now gotta focus on people claiming roles 👍👍#March 27th #we have a good amount of time to do this >:D #LETS GO #//cackles in delight//

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little-tainted-angel · 4 months

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๑ A secret between interlinked fingers.

Tim Drake x male!reader

Category: [Fluff/sfw/comical(?)]

Warnings: 5/5 bat-bros (Dick, Jason, Tim, Duke and Damian), male reader. Mention of Cassandra. 4/5 bat-bros don't believe Tim could go to therapy at all (I doubt any of them would). Reader uses Spanish pet names. May be too OOC.

Request: Yes / No | From: Anon.

«Hey! Could you please write Tim Drake x reader? Basically Tim is secretly dating a guy and they nostly hang out at school, his brother's get a bit too curious and listen in <3»

Note: My first request! Glad to have you here <3 I apologize if this isn't linked to your ask, Tumblr for some reason wouldn't let me edit it. I only had the options "delete" "program publication" and "post". Also, sorry this is short and if I got the characters personality wrong, I don't really know how to write Tim.

Resume: Tim and reader are dating, but they mostly just spend time in their school. His brothers got curious, and since all of them were raised by the world's best detective, is up to them to resolve the mystery that is Tim's relationship.

"I swear there's something strange in the kid's behavior," Jason muttered as he sat down on the couch, next to Damian while Duke was sitting on the other extreme. Dick was standing in front of them.

The four brothers (Cass also noticed, but Cass being Cass had already found out what it was), noticed that the brother —that was currently disappeared from the manor— had slight changes in his behavior.

It was sort of positive, they noticed. But they didn't know what caused it (therapy was discarded as an option by group agreement).

"Maybe he's self-improving for once?" Duke suggested, though he didn't sound convinced himself.

"TT. Doubt that Drake of all people could self-improve his pathetic self," Damian rolled his eyes.

"Damian, be nice," Dick sighed, looking at one of his baby brothers.

"Well, there must be a reason of why this small change." Jason crossed his arms.

"...And if we follow him to find out the reason?" Duke suggested.

"Wouldn't he notice?" Dick raised an eyebrow.

"It won't hurt giving it a try," he shrugged.

"I say we do it. What can end up wrong?" Jason pointed out.

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣🌸￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

"All of this is ridiculous," Damian murmured.

"You agreed to it Habibi," Jason hummed, making Damian click his tongue.

The brothers managed to follow Tim to his school. That was the moment they noticed a male getting closer to Tim with a smile.

You were a new addition, they quickly realized. As they had never seen you before with Tim. And Tim seemed at ease with you.

"A boy?" Dick said amused. "That's the cause for Tim's subtle change?"

Don't get him wrong, his baby brother can date whoever he wants. He was just surprised Tim changed because of someone else.

"Who is dumb enough to be interested in him?" Damian replied, clearly not believing what he was seeing.

"That guy we just saw, apparently," Duke hummed.

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩ

"Everything okay, Amor?" You asked Tim, as he seemed to be slightly on edge.

"Yeah...I just feel like someone's watching me." Tim replied, sighing as he left his head rest on your shoulder. He was tired, you could tell.

You hummed softly as one hand came to brush his hair out of his face.

"When did you last slept?" You asked him, quietly enough for no one else to hear you.

Tim grumbled quietly, avoiding the question.

"Cariño, when did you last slept?" You asked again with a small sigh.

"...48 hours ago?"

"Tim."

"You asked."

"Do I have to drug you for you to sleep properly?" You murmured, gently massaging his scalp.

"Mmm....maybe," Tim replied back, closing his eyes as he left you touch his hair.

"What am I supposed to do with you, Amor?"

"Love me," Tim replied.

"I already do that, it's easy," you said amused.

Tim grumbled some sort of answer that you couldn't process.

"Yeah, you're definitely sleep deprived, Amor."

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

#dc x male reader #tim drake #tim drake x reader #tim drake x male reader #dc x reader #batfamily #batfam #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #duke thomas #cassandra cain #reader #male reader

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idoodlestuffsometimes · 11 months

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Hi, I just read through your Brother’s Keeper AU and I love it!! I was wondering what Eda thought of Lord Metanoy—if she thinks he’s faking it for propaganda purposes, or figured out that Belos is the one who hurt his brother, or thinks it’s something else entirely? And by extension, what does Luz think of him?

Brother's Keeper AU Story Post 13

Luz is still getting her bearings in this strange new world. Eda, meanwhile, has more pressing things to worry about, but she's suspicious of propaganda from the get-go.

AU MASTER POST

BEGINNING | PREVIOUS | NEXT

[Image ID under the cut]

[IMAGE ID: A black and white pencil-sketched comic. PANEL ONE: Luz, Eda, and King, perched on Eda's shoulder, have stopped on their way down the street. Eda carries a sale banner draped over one arm and Luz is holding a box of random human knick-knacks. Luz reads one of the propaganda posters with a picture of Caleb hunched in his wheelchair, reading: "REMEMBER METANOY'S MADNESS, BEWARE THE DANGERS OF WILD MAGIC." "Eda, what is this supposed to mean, anyway?" asks Luz. "Who is this guy?" "Ah, that's just old Mad Metanoy, the emperor's brother." answers Eda. She gestures wildly, eyes sarcastically wide. "They say, he went CRAZY from wild magic." PANEL TWO: Eda picks her teeth, unimpressed, hand on her hip. "With all this dumb coven stuff, though," she says. "I say it's the WORLD that's gone crazy and maybe he's the only sane one." On top of her head bounces a pair of novelty spring-loaded googly eye glasses. PANEL THREE: Luz looks up at the poster, concerned. "Haha, insanity!" exclaims King off-panel. PANEL FOUR: Eda and King continue on their way. "Hey, Eda," says King, one hand to his cheek, "will YOU cast a wild magic curse to drive MY enemies to madness?" "Sure thing, pal." she replies. "I'll let you know once I figure out how." Luz follows after them. In the foreground, the propaganda poster remains. /End ID]

#The Owl House #TOH #eda the owl lady #eda clawthorne #luz noceda #king clawthorne #Caleb Wittebane #Brother's Keeper AU #doodle art #doodlereply #no inking this time! there was nothing complex or dramatic enough to warrant it and my rule for this au is fun over perfectionism 👍#and yes i'm still busy with commissions and new hire paperwork but i'm sick of it and did this instead. i am the peak of responsibility

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one-idea · 5 months

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Maybe consuming media where parallel dimensions exist has rotten my brain. (The spider verse, years of comic book, au fanfics) but worlds were little changes change the whole world are just fascinating to me.

I’ve seen stories were Luffy is the one that dies at Marineford.where Luffy is the older sibling. Where Shanks or someone else arrives in time to save Ace. I’ve seen Kuina lived and takes Zoro’s place on the straw hats. But what I haven’t seen is a reverse straw hat crew.

Let me explain myself.

Shanks isn’t the only Yonko vacationing in the east blue, white beard takes a break there as well. Meeting a young Ace. This Whitebeard knows his time is limited but sees a future of Ace. He can’t take the boy with him but they promise to meet again one day when Ace is a great pirate, a pirate great enough to take Whitebeard place in the world. The rest of the back story (meeting Luffy, Sabo, everything) stays intact and Ace sets out at age 17. (I was going to have him meet Shanks instead of Luffy but Luffy and Shanks’ relationship is important to me and will play a role later)

Where he meets 17 year old Kuina. (She is 1 year older then Zoro, and he was one year younger then Ace so they would be the same age) in this world Zoro is the one who died. He was the only one who believed that she could be the strongest swordsman, he didn’t care about her gender. They promised that one of them would be the strongest swordsman in the world and then he died. Now at 17 she is on a journey to be the world’s best swordsman woman.

The two start traveling together where they meet Nojiko a thief, she’s an okay navigator but not as good as her sister. She speaks fondly of her sister but doesn’t mention her village (or the pirates there) Ace instantly likes her, no it’s not because he gets to trade stories with her about how great Luffy is vs how great Nami is. Kuina enjoyed their stories but her heart hurts a bit at the fact she doesn’t have the same number of stories of her ‘dumb little sibling.’ But strangely Nojiko only tells stories about young Nami.

The keep going and meet a sickly girl named Kaya. She was visiting the shipyard while they were looking to get a new ship. Kuina recognizes Kaya’s brand new butler as Kuro and none of the crew are going to let him take advantage of Kaya. (Ace and Nojiko are over protective siblings and Kaya is the same age/a year younger than their siblings. And Kuina has to much honor plus she just really likes to fight) they save Kaya but the girl realizes that there is no life for her in Syrup village. There is just to many traumatic memories her so she joins the crew. Bring with her a brand new ship and a boat load of beri. (She leaves behind most of her fortune to Usopp and Merry, knowing they will take care of it until Usopp is ready to sail.

The crew travels on to a floating restaurant where they meet red leg Zeff and his apprentice Reiju. Her backstory is the same and Sanji, her and Zeff trapped in an island. It isn’t until much later that the crew finds out about her connections to Germa 66 and what happened to her beloved little brother Sanji.

The Baratie arc goes about the same with Kuina getting defeated by Mihawk, and Nojiko stealing the boat and the money.

The track Nojiko down and find out what Arlong did to her village. How he killed her sister to send a message to the village and imprisoned her mother. Using Bell-meré’s Marie Knowledge to expand his territory and threatening Nojiko and the villages lives to keep her cooperating. So much about Nojiko makes sense. How she only tells stories about young Nami, why she cared so much about Kaya’s money. As they learn about her trying to buy her village back.

Arlong obviously breaks their deal. How can he keep Bell-meré in line without her daughter and village as leverage.

Needless to say Ace, Kuina, and Reiju burn the place to the ground (Kaya helps as she can but she’s still getting used to fighting)

The sail on with Bell-meré’s blessing.

When they get to the grand line they meet two fools named Mr. Nine and Miss Wednesday. But it’s not what you think. Mr. Nine is Koza Viva told him about the danger their country was in and he went in her stead. (At this time he is 17 and she is 13, but when he left he would have been 15 and she 11)

The crew agrees to help him, (Ace is thrilled to have another dude on the team) when they meet and mysterious women with white hair called Miss All Sunday. The encounter is very similar to Robins introduction.

They sail on to little Garden. Kaya has a great time meeting the giant (thrilled to tell Usopp about them one day) but also starts to really work on mastering a weapon.

They leave with a slowly sickening Nojiko. They stop and Drum Island to get her help where they meet and eccentric Doctor who helps them. His name? Dr. Hiriluk. He tells them about how he was deathly ill when his son cured him by accidentally giving him a Devil fruit. A Zoan type fruit. Specifically the, reindeer model. Unfortunately his son was killed by Drum’s island king for being a ‘monster’

Needless to say Wapol gets his butt handed to him. Dr. Hitiluk, seeing his country free and his dream fulfilled decided to join up with the crew to love out choppers dream of curing all diseases.

They continue on, freeing Arabasta. With Koza staying behind to help rebuild his country, but he might rejoin 👀. As their sailing away Someone makes themselves know. The mysterious white hair woman is one their ship and joining their crew, her name? Nico Olivia.

I’ll cover more of this later. I have so many ideas. But all of this to say. Imagine this crew meeting the straw hat crew. Something crosses their Dimensions into one another and Luffy gets to see Ace, Zoro gets to see and adult Kuina. Nami gets to see Nojiko and hear about their mothers blessing their life of piracy. Usopp and Kaya meeting when both of them are competent warriors of the sea. Reiju reuniting with Her brother Sanji (I haven’t even told you what happened to Sanji in this world!) Chopper and Hiriluk. Robin and Olivia.

(I did this for Ace and Luffy and Zoro and Kuina but I think Sanji, Robin and Chopper will rip my heart out more)

Let me know what you think.

Master post

Part 1/2

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

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genericpuff · 4 months

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This is stupid, but you know those new LO hoodies the Webtoon shop has? I know the font they're using. It's Eckmannpsych which is an Adobe font.

That's not the stupid part though. The dumb part is the capital H and G in the Eckmannpsych font do not match what is on the hoodies, which would obviously be on the hoodies that have Hera or Goddess on them. So, Rachel looks to have taken the time to hand draw her own H and G to match the font style for those hoodies but did not take any time to make new, better art for the merch, but instead reused ugly panels from the comic. Talk about a strange look into her priorities. She doesn't like how the G and H look on a font? She will remake those to fit what she wants. Rachel when the assignment gives her the chance to make specialized, better designs for those same merch? She can't be bothered to even try. WTF!

for the love of god-

I'm assuming and hoping they had the commercial rights to that font LMAOO But it did kind of make me go 🤨 because while I didn't know the font EXACTLY off the top of my head it still felt... weirdly out of place for something like LO? Why are these hoodies being stylized like they're from Austin Powers LOL

On another note tho, the LO merch is just like... disappointing in how bad it is for what's supposed to be WT's #1 series, which is, btw, a series with so much unique stylization that it shouldn't even be this hard to make merch for it! it just feels very "first attempt at redbubble merch", but unlike genuine first attempts at making merch (which is obviously a learning curve that I wouldn't judge anyone for being new to) this is a company that's sunk shitloads of money into LO so I don't know why they can't get better merch made?? so much of it is just the default drawings taken and slapped onto a tote bag or t-shirt, which like, yeah cool fine you're using art that's recognizable and considering the art is already made, it stands to reason that they should use it for more than just the comic. It's just disappointing to see how lazy it often is and how little effort is put into translating it onto a t-shirt/tote bag/etc. like we can't even have ONE exclusive t-shirt with a unique design that isn't just poorly copy pasted from the comic?

Case in point, those t-shirts that Rachel was advertising a while ago that were actually straight up falsely advertised. I can't find the post about it on my Tumblr (I'm pretty sure I talked about it here) so here's the IG story rundown I did on it ages ago:

Again I'd really like to have benefit of the doubt here that Rachel isn't the one making these designs, usually that's not how the merchandising process goes in these types of deals, so I'm not gonna point the finger at her. But it's just so odd to me that it happened in the first place. And this goes for a lot of LO's merch, so much of it feels cheaply made and rushed off a conveyor belt for the point of making money without much expense. Which yeah, that's a business model for sure, the goal is to profit, but like this?

You can't even argue that it's like people criticizing LO the comic because like, as much as I'll justify what I spend my time doing here in my free time, it's true that at the end of the day I don't have to pay for LO, so really the only thing I'm doing is inflicting psychic damage to myself, it's not like my actual money is on the line LMAO That's why I stopped paying for LO ages ago and only do it when I have a specific episode I need to review (such as the midseason hiatus review series I did). At the very least, if I really want to keep reading LO but don't want to pay for it, I can just avoid FastPassing it and read it for free so I can save the coins for other series I'd rather read. The Webtoons' FP system is very fair that way.

But this is merch explicitly made to generate revenue. It is a product, front to back. You can vote with your money by not buying the thing you don't like, absolutely, but the fact that it's this poorly to begin with is just so indicative of Webtoons' business practices and so shitty for the people who genuinely enjoy this comic and are being advertised and sold shoddy merchandise that doesn't even come looking the same way it's advertised. It's really not a good look for Webtoons, Rachel, or LO that this is what they're selling to people.

Especially for what they're charging, good lord-

Like, okay, they're hoodies and they're gonna be expensive to print and ship so the higher overhead cost makes sense, but jesus christ, with the kind of merch Webtoons has already given the stamp of approval on, would it even show up in decent condition? How bright are those colors gonna be? Are they gonna strip off as soon as I throw it in the wash? I'm half-tempted to buy a hoodie for myself just to do a review on it but I can't justify dropping $75 CAD on a hoodie that only has art on the back. Maybe it's just me living in the hellish lands of Canada where we play with toy money that's the problem, but it's just not a gamble I wanna take LOL If I bought one it would probably be the Hecate or Hermes ones because they're the only ones that are at least somewhat legible and have decent character art that isn't a character looking like they need to poop LMAO

(these are literally the two worst drawings they could have chosen of these two i stg lol the only thing that would have made this worse/funnier is if it was Handsome Hades and Persephone Kidnapping a Baby LMAO)

It has me worried about what the LO figures are gonna look like when they release. Are they gonna have some creative liberty with making them chibi-fied (like a Nendoroid?) or are they gonna try and replicate the art style exactly and wind up making literal blow-up sex doll Persephone? 😭

NGL, if the figures are done well enough and don't cost an arm and a leg, I might consider buying one just for the shelf collection, but again, it depends. If Webtoons released a tarot deck with really good panels from LO (like the Tower 4 scene or Persephone sitting on the rooftop with her comb or Eros flying down into the Mortal Realm) I would buy the shit out of that. I would even just take the Major Arcana if 78 cards was too much to ask :'0 I'm not against Webtoons/Rachel trying to profit off LO merch at all, I just wish it was BETTER- (╥﹏╥)

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus #ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything

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ordinaryschmuck · 4 months

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What I Quickly Thought about What If...? Season Two

For those who don’t know, I’m one of the few people who actually enjoyed What If…? Season One for what it was. Did it take advantage of telling interesting tales with the MCU, giving us intense glimpses of these universes that showed us what COULD HAVE been? Not all the time. Was it still good dumb fun? To me it was. And that’s pretty much what What If…?, as a concept, was, even in the comics. Yeah, you got interesting stuff like “What if Spider-Man never became a crime fighter?” or “What if Daredevil was raised by The Kingpin?” but it also had stuff like “What if the Original Marvel Bullpen Became the Fantastic Four?” or “What if Sargent Fury Fought World War Two in Outer Space?” The comics were less about high-concepts and more about writers doing whatever the hell they wanted with the Marvel Universe and being able to have fun with it because, well, none of it was canon. The same applied to the MCU’s What If…?, as it was a chance for the writers to do a murder mystery with the Avengers or make T’Challa fix the universe as Star-Lord. They can kill characters, make dumb(er) jokes, and play around with the heroes and villains in the MCU like they were action figures. And I’m into that. Don’t get me wrong, I would love more episodes like “What if…Doctor Strange lost his heart instead of his hands?” or “What if…Ultron won?” as they DO have a lot of great moments and show off what these characters are capable of than what the movies/shows proved. But at the same time, I didn’t mind watching the big buff lady that is Captain Carter kill Nazis or watch Spider-Man and a band of heroes try to survive a zombie apocalypse. It’s a show where everyone is meant to just sit back, turn their brain off, and have some fun while occasionally getting something interesting. Again, just like the comics.

So when Season Two got announced, I was genuinely excited. I like Season One and I wanted more of it. Then when the trailer came out with an episode list, I thought, “Okay, this could be the show embracing comic book wackiness.” Now, not a lot of people were into that…In fact, the majority said that a lot of these concepts weren’t even interesting and were, instead, kind of lame. I don’t get it, maybe because I’m in the exact mindset the MCU wants me to have with this series, but I was still looking forward to Season Two. The question is, was it worth it? Well, let’s quickly go over each episode to find out.

Spoilers Ahead

What If…Nebula Joined the Nova Corps?: Ooooooooh, what a great start. Watching Nebula act as a cop/detective, but with her cold, deadpan badassery still intact was a ton of fun in this dark, gritty setting made for this new version of her. I loved watching this new version of Nebula make her way through a darkened Xandar, with her never straying from this oath and acting as it should be intended, all while teaming up with Howard the Duck of all characters. Like, I kind of enjoy seeing Howard turn out to be this sleazy casino owner who treats Nebula as a true friend despite them working on opposite ends of the law. The concept itself is funny and execution is endearing with Seth Green giving much needed charm to the character. It’s part of the fun of What If…?: Showing characters who couldn’t interact in the movies or didn’t have much screen time and allowing them another chance to shine…Unfortunately, that’s not always a good thing. Because while I love seeing a character like Howard make a surprisingly good comeback, watching Yon-Rog, one of the more boring MCU villains, show up and lack any intrigue or fun is just…no. And then there’s Nova Prime who decided to betray the entire Corp by taking down the force field…Something that was HER idea to do and, given the pull she had, could have done at any point. Why string Nebula along when Nova Prime could have just made the ruling herself that the force field needed to be taken down? A friend of mine tried explaining how it could make sense, but I don’t know. It doesn’t change this weird got while watching. But while flawed, it was pretty cool to see this new setting in the MCU, carried by Nebula as the Super Nova (Love that name, by the way. It’s perfect). The plot has a big ol’ hole, not every character return works, but it gave me a half-hour of fun so I’m not complaining (Get used to that thought process, by the way).

What If…Peter Quill Attacked Earth’s Mightiest Heroes?: And this one’s a little rough around the edges. It’s fun to see this alternate version of the Avengers form to fight a Peter Quill who has Ego’s powers, but it feels like the entire episode is on fast-forward, almost like this is what would happen if the first Avengers movie needed to be made thirty-minutes long. It’s sort of the downside of What If having a half-hour runtime, where it has to both tell a story and introduce us to this new universe in under thirty minutes. It’s the same with the comics that had less than thirty pages to do the exact same thing, only to feel longer because comic writers in the seventies and eighties don’t know how to shut the hell up. The end result is a story that’s fine ENOUGH, but it would have benefited with more time to slow down and let us appreciate this new team of old heroes. I mean, we have the original Captain Mar-Vel, T’Challa’s father, and even Goliath, which would have been AWESOME to see them play a big role. But instead, the episode focuses on Hank Pym, Bucky, and THOR, somehow, making these other heroes valued members but also a bit of an afterthought. Also, despite this being a different version of the Avengers, they somehow make MORE quips than the original team, with few of it feeling like it’s in character. It has the same problem as Age of Ultron where everyone is cracking jokes at every second as much as they can, and it HIGHLY depends on your willingness to stomach that kind of thing if you’re willing to watch this episode. That and if you’re willing to forgive a character doing this STUPID AND RISKY thing that worked out for the better but doesn’t change how stupid and risky it is. Overall, this whole episode is a very interesting idea mixed with some very FLAWED execution that spoils the fun to be had.

What If…Happy Hogan Saved Christmas?: Now this? All kinds of fun to be had with this one. The return of Justin Hammer of all villains isn’t something I thought I needed, but I heavily enjoyed watching what’s basically the anti-Tony Stark show up and be his most despicably charming self. It was a blast to watch this scrawny little twink TRY and act intimidating as he dances all over the place. It makes him feel more and more like a cartoon villain, which is appropriate for yuletide fun. You don’t NEED a menacing presence for Christmas, you need a GOOF. And Hammer’s the goofiest with his lame catchphrases and very STUPID dancing, I couldn’t get enough of it. But the real star is Happy, who gets juiced up for an adaptation I NEVER would have expected from the MCU. The Freak is one of the sides to Happy that not many fans would know about unless they’ve immersed themselves with Iron Man lore (Or read a shit load of comics for the past two years like me), but it really is cool to see that side of him brought to life. The way Happy looks and moves like more of a manic Hulk on crack does great at setting him apart from the Jolly Green Monster we know and love, but also makes The Freak feel more unique from how he was in the comics. It was a blast of a holiday special with the only downside is that Darcy’s OCCASIONALLY annoying. Not much other than that, though, as this is the best Christmas present I could ask from Marvel.

What If…Iron Man Crashed Into the Grandmaster?: Fun fact, this was originally meant to be in Season One but was cut due to time constraints. Yeah, remember how weird it was that the Watcher plucked a version of Gamora we didn’t know? Well, now we finally know…through a story that’s primarily about Tony Stark that makes me wonder why the hell The Watcher didn’t take him.

But facts and jokes aside, I loved the shit out of this episode. There are probably going to be some cynics out there saying that the cars and the race is an excuse to sell toys or LEGO sets or some shit, but I don’t care because everything about it was AWESOME!. Not to mention that it lit up a special place in my heart and brain to watch Tony Stark be a hero again, not hesitating to save lives, putting everything on the line, and helping bring Gamora into the light, all while still being his snarky, Starky self. And huge props to Mick Wingert voicing him, who doesn’t sound like Robert Downy Jr at ALL, but still nails the energy and mannerisms. I can picture RDJ saying all of these lines and it helps make this feel like one last Iron Man story for the fans. Seeing the Grandmaster again was ALSO a plus, as he was his same goofy-self. As for the real hook of this episode, Gamora, she’s…fine. I don’t love that it’s Tony that helped her redemption arc since I always preferred how turning against Thanos was something Gamora decided for herself instead of this thing that someone brought out. It’s not a BAD idea, but it’s something that might have worked better with NEBULA, a character that could actually USE convincing, instead of Gamora, a character who would likely go to Stark to help kill Thanos. Still, I don’t HATE it, nor do I hate the episode. It was an adrenaline thrill-ride that gave us a return of Tony where he DOESN’T die in the end. I couldn’t have asked for more if I heard this episode’s title, and I’m glad it’s what we’ve got.

What If…Captain Carter Fought the Hydra Stomper?: I…KIND OF understand the reception towards Captain Carter. I don’t get why Marvel keeps pushing her more than their actual Captain America replacement, Sam Wilson. I mean, Captain Carter showed up in three projects (two seasons of television and a movie), where Sam made his official appearance as Captain America once…and hasn’t even cameoed in any other movie or show. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like the big buff lady and it’s awesome seeing her fight the giant robot. It’s cool, I love it. I also heavily enjoyed this episode, getting into the drama, action, and seeing Peggy make a surprisingly believable friendship with Black Widow. Heck, I’d go so far as to say that this is a better Black Widow story than her actual movie gave us. So I like it, I like seeing Captain Carter and some of her adventures. I especially like that this story isn’t a direct rehash of Winter Soldier like how the first episode is a rehash of First Avenger. The writers actually set out to make something more unique and it makes me like Captain Carter a little more. I just wish we could get that same love and appreciation towards Sam Wilson, whose movie got pushed back to 2025 and will count as the only time this character has been relevant since his mini-series. If this is our new leader of the Avengers and the man who will fight to save the multiverse, we’re probably going to need more than one appearance from the guy. I don’t think people would complain about more Captain Carter if Sam Wilson’s Captain America wasn’t so blatantly shoved too far to the side.

What If…Kahhori Reshaped the World?: One of the few rare times the MCU made an ORIGINAL superhero. There is no previous comic, movie, or show that Kahhori is based on. She’s a completely original character made up for this franchise, much like Miles Morales in the Ultimate universe or X-23 in X-Men Evolution (Check that show out, by the way. It’s pretty damn good). And just like those two, I REALLY hope Kahhori manages to become such a hit with audiences that she spawns more content, because Kahhori and her world is something I would love to revisit. Her personality is fun, her motivation is inspiring, and her powers are unique enough to make her stand out more to the other heroes in the MCU. As for her story, it’s your bare-bones origin story. The whole episode is about explaining her powers, the world she lives in, and the people she loves and fights for. It does all this while proving her heroics through fighting a supervillain set out to do some damage. Only, instead of some generic supervillain that matches her powers it’s this Spanish Conquistador who…honestly still looks like a supervillain, which is kind of funny. And it works for Kahhori, proving that while she’s currently the most powerful person in the world, she’s willing to fight against oppression and the monarchy, advocating for peace instead of a continuous war for who gains the most control. Like I said, that’s inspiring and it’s why I want to see more of this character and how far she can go when fighting bigger, more evil threats than the Queen of Spain. Whether it’s a spin-off TV show/movie, a comic mini-series, or even introducing Kahhori into the 616 comics (somehow), I wouldn’t mind seeing this new, wonderful hero more in the future.

What If…Hela Found the Ten Rings?: I…did not expect to like this one as much as I did. I wasn’t the BIGGEST fan of Hela, because aside from seeing her actress having a blast to go full ham, there wasn’t much to her. Yeah, she was this conqueror alongside Odin, which is an interesting backstory for HIM, but for Hela, it’s not enough. Instead of telling me WHO she is, Thor: Ragnarok kept telling me WHAT she was. Then here comes an episode of What If…? that not only gives me that answer, but a lot more. Sure, the first half is a bit wonky, but when we get to the second, we finally get an idea of who Hela is. Simply put, Hela doesn’t know who she is beyond a conqueror, and that’s because Odin never trained nor raised her to be anything more. This episode forces Hela to face that and discover answers she never knew she was seeking, having a surprisingly decent redemption, becoming a goddess of life instead of death. I…love that. I love that WAY MORE than I could have expected to love it. It makes me appreciate Hela a lot more and maybe see that there’s a tragedy to her in Thor: Ragnarok. Hela could have changed for the better if she met someone that could bring her good side out, but because she was banished into isolation by Odin, it caused Hela to be both spiteful and vengeful, making her refuse any alternative beyond being a conqueror or a goddess of death, with her final acts of life being someone who destroyed her home because destruction was all she knew. This episode has a better, more unique story to tell than Hela and Wenwu fighting over the Ten Rings to see who can cause more destruction. Speaking of, if there’s one thing to complain about the episode, it’s how underutilized Wenwu is to the story. He’s actually one of MY favorite MCU villains and it feels weird that he’s just…kind of there? Most of the meat to the story goes to Hela, and I do appreciate it, but Wenwu could have done more than wanting to bone Hela or assisting her in fighting Odin. But aside from that, I’d still say that this is a fantastic episode that surpassed my expectations.

What If…The Avengers Assembled in 1602?: Of all the episodes, this is the one I was looking forward to the most. I’m a sucker for seeing characters in a different setting. They’re very much the same in terms of personality but their differences vary from positions in life or the skills they’re capable of. It’s no different here, as so much of this feels like a period piece fanfic where the writers seemed to have so much fun making the Avengers be in 1602. And I don’t give a shit if people hate her, I LOVE that Captain Carter refuses to leave this world until she saves it from complete collapse. It would have been the same if it was Steve Rogers, I get that, but how do you expect me to hate a hero who’s willing to fight with her last breath to save the world? Those are my favorite kind of superheroes! You want me to give up what I love most about superheroes just because you don’t like that the big buff lady fights King Thor and his vibranium thunder sword? F**k you.

Also, this comes with the added benefit of watching big buff Steve and big buff Peggy constantly being on the VERGE of wanting to rip their clothes off and f**k each other whenever they’re on screen together. And, honestly, I can't blame them. They’re both gorgeous. LET THEM F**K!

Overall, I had fun, even if there are problems. Sure, the reveal that Steve is indirectly the cause of this universe’s collapse is way too predictable, no thanks in large part to the trailers SPOILING IT! And it’s pretty weird that Scott can still shrink and grow. Like…How can he do that in this setting? Also, this universe has a merry band of misfits that’s similar to Robin Hood, and there’s not even a SINGLE Hawkeye in it? Not even Kate Bishop? COME ON NOW! Come on now…

But, yeah, this episode is the perfect epitome of what makes What If…? enjoyable to me. It can offer you a fun concept of having the Avengers be in 1602 and just ask you to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. Not everyone’s going to be into that, but I am and I could take ten more seasons of this if I could.

What If…Strange Supreme Intervened?: You want me to hate the big buff lady and new MCU character Kahhori fighting Strange Supreme and a whole gaggle of universe killers just because *checks notes* Captain Carter is a Mary Sue? F**k you. I don’t care if you feel like Captain Carter is forced upon you, she punched a demonic Doctor Strange in the face with the power of INFINITY. That is awesome no matter WHO the character is and if you can’t appreciate it, then I guess this show really isn’t for you. As for the finale, the whole thing is awesome as this big fireworks show to close out the season, added with Strange Supreme going back to the dark side for the sake of reviving his universe. I’ll admit that Strange Supreme had a bit of a forced redemption last season, so it is great for this finale to prove that he is, in fact, still twisted inside while allowing him to earn a more true redemption in making up for his actions. It makes his tragedy STILL feel like a tragedy, giving everyone but him a happy ending. And, again, he got punched in the face with the power of infinity. F**k all you haters, this show’s great.

Season Two is a definite improvement to Season One. Sure, the pacing is wonky, the jokes are trying too hard, and animation can look gorgeous at times but ugly at others. But the writing’s stronger, the concepts are bigger, the fun’s funner, and I got to see a woman punch a demon in the face with the power of infinity–I keep bringing that up because it is so damn awesome. And it’s the same with this show! It just fuels that part of my brain that wants to see cool, comic book shit happening. It’s not for everyone, I know that. It’s neither good nor bad, it’s just…subjectively fun. It’ll either light up your world or leave you wanting more substance than dumb fun. I enjoyed the hell out of this season, but others won’t for their own reasons (some of them being that they just hate Captain Carter). They can feel that way all they want. Still won’t change how I enjoyed the hell out of this season and look forward to more.

#marvel cinematic universe #mcu #mcu reviews #captain carter #nova nebula #marvel what if #what if season 2 #kahhori #mcu the freak #happy hogan #mcu hela #hela #justin hammer #strange supreme #tony stark #iron man

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queen-goblin · 29 days

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Eddie x Death!reader

Eddie's death in the Upside Down effectively makes him undead, trapped between worlds

reader is a personification of death and something of a reaper. they offer Eddie his life back if he's willing to reap the living for them, but he adamantly turns them down

no one refuses Death, making them perplexed by Eddie as he willingly suffers through his strange new existence rather than take the chance to return to the world of the living

Death's curiosity leads the duo to forge an unconventional dynamic, something almost akin to a friendship

Death can't help but grow fond of Eddie during their visits in the Upside Down, beginning to feel an array of emotions that they didn't think were possible for someone of their kind

Look, I love the Evil Ernie comics, and Eddie has always given me those vibes, so I just had to come up with something inspired by that dumb dead boy and his hot death gf

like come oooon

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #stranger things

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star-trek-dumb-comics · 6 months

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Star Trek - Strange New Dumb Comics #77

Re stumbled on this classic and immediately knew what do to with it

#star trek #ds9 #solok #gul dukat #michael eddington #deep space nine #star trek fanart #strange new dumb comics #star trek incorrect quote #benjamin sisko #yeah and I rewatched Waltz recently so I'm still in my disko shit lmao

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seraphimaa · 1 month

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Tactical Communication

I had such a dumb idea that wouldn’t leave my head but it has been making me cackle every time I think of it.

Low int Tav tries to warn Astarion that Raphael is, in fact, a fiend during their first encounter. It could have gone better. Bad comic attached at the end to better explain this dumb idea.

(Hinted Raphael x Tav Hinted Astarion x Tav)

Warnings: none

——

Imagine Tav recognises Raphael as a fiend quickly during their first encounter, despite his disguise.

She wasn’t sure where the stranger was taking them but she had to warn her new travelling companion of the danger they were no doubt following him to.

The fiend walked in front with his back to them and seeing an opportunity to get Astarion’s attention without alerting him, she began to wave her arms above her head like a mad woman. When she saw his gaze fall on her, questioning she panicked as she thought of a way to visually communicate that the man before them was actually a devil.

She knew what to do. Raising her fingers to either side of her head like horns and began to hop manically between her legs. She screwed up her face and wagged her tongue around in a way she hoped screamed Look, I’m big scary devil.

The elf looked deeply disturbed.

She frowned back, raising her eyebrows at him in frustration and continuing her strange dance, wondering why he wasn’t catching on to her obvious communication.

Spinning to the left she yelped and stumbled back as she came face to chest with the disguised fiend. He was sneering down at her, clearly unimpressed.

“Are you quite done?”

Staring at the ground, she nodded quick and sheepish.

“Yeah. Sorry.”

He considered her, holding her in his authoritative scowl, their noses almost touching, until she considered crawling out her own skin in order to escape it. When she had finished flushing a deep cherry red in embarrassment, he took a step back. And cleared his throat.

“Let’s continue, if you think you are capable to do so without further…tomfoolery.”

She would have snorted at the choice of words if it hadn’t been spat so menacingly at her.

It was only when in camp that night, after the devil had made his proposition and released his form that Astarion chose to address the Hollyphant in the room.

“What in the hells was that?”

“I was trying to communicate tactically?”

“And what exactly were you trying to communicate? That your tadpole has chewed through whatever functioning brains you have?”

He sniffed at her, rolling his eyes. Gods, if this was his only ally in the fight to come he may as well toss himself off of the nearest cliff face.

“No. He smelled of sulphur. I was trying to tell you that he was a devil…obviously.”

She considered not adding that dash salt to the wound but he was so rude sometimes.

He sighed and they both sat like that, arms crossed and pouting in silence. It was only broken as he rose to take his leave like he usually did at night, for whatever strange reason.

“Maybe, try the magic, telepathic bloody tadpoles liking our subconsciouses next time…Darling.”

That bastard.

(Please forgive the comic. I just needed to get this tomfoolery out of me as quickly as possible so I can actually focus.)

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welcometothejianghu · 2 months

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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 心宅猎人/Psych-Hunter.

Psych-Hunter is a 2020 drama about a hot young amnesiac who, accompanied by a rich psychiatrist with major daddy issues and a rich girl who cosplays as a cop, uses his Inception-style psychic powers to solve crimes that are part of a shadowy conspiracy orchestrated by a mysterious figure.

True story: Once I couldn't remember the English name of the drama, so I called it "House Haunters," and now my brain insists that's the real English title. If only!

Do not, under any circumstances, labor under the impression that this show is good. It's not. It's incoherent. The writing is bad. The villain is absurd. The vibe is comically melodramatic. People make inexplicable and out-of-character decisions all the time. Countless complex mysteries get set up with no way to resolve them. There's a thin lampshade hanging over it that blurs the line between bad decisions made on accident and bad decisions made on purpose, but the net result is largely the same. This is the show that first inspired my wife to declare something dumb as a guinea pig in a roller skate.

But it's fun. It's a sea of colorful chaos with brilliant pieces that shine through like strange gems. It knows how to work an atmosphere and does so to create some legitimately creepy moments. It spins a wild yarn filled with bizarre and loveable characters. And it has some twists that truly have to be seen to be believed. In the mood for some beautiful nonsense? Here's five reasons that despite everything I warned you about in the previous paragraph, I think this one's worth watching.

1. Psychonauts for Jazz Age homosexuals

Honestly, that phrase alone should let you know if this is the thing for you. But just in case, let me explain the basic premise of the show:

Jiang Shuo, a man who has lost his memory and been adopted by circus folk, is capable of jingling his keys and diving full-body into someone else's subconscious, represented by lovely and thematic dreamscapes. He does this to solve crimes. Sometimes he takes along a handsome doctor who seems like he might know more than he's letting on, by literally tying their hands together with a red string.

Also, when they do this, they get gorgeous steampunk magical girl costume changes, complete with the cutest little pony nub you've ever seen.

This show can be stunningly beautiful. It knows how to manifest dream logic eerily well. Most of these cognitions are gorgeous, and many are done with primarily practical effects, like it's a stage play. ...And it's good it relies on that so much, because the CG it has is kinda cheap and terrible! So, yeah.

(Side note for the DMBJ fans: This is directed by the same guy who directed Sand Sea, which I assume is related to how this both is a visual treat and completely falls apart on the back end.)

The reason I'm a bit surprised that this hasn't taken off more among the creative set is what a great piece of worldbuilding this Psych-diving is. These boys (and, once, the girl) get to short-term manifest bodily in someone else's materialized mental state, where the person whose brain they’re in neither controls the experience nor remembers what happened after it’s done. Were you writing weird Arthur/Eames fic a decade ago? I got a new best thing for you. Can you say freaky dream sex? Because I can.

The base premise should be more than enough to get your gears going. Come ready to get weird with it. There's so much potential here, and so much of that potential is incredibly gay and wearing impeccably tailored suits.

2. Your friendly neighborhood circus family

As I mentioned before, Jiang Shuo lucks into the best possible fate that can befall an amnesiac: being picked up by carnies.

The troupe includes Ventriloquist Man, Really Big Dude, One-Eyed Acrobat, Other Acrobat, Cheerful Fat Girl, Boy Who Looks Like A Kid But Is Actually Played By An Adult So I'm Not Exactly Sure How Old The Character Himself Is Supposed To Be, and Silver Fox Circus Dad, who manages the whole crew. They're a ragtag bunch of performers who all live together in this cute little compound in some very nice slums, and sometimes they open the gates to their lavish compound and put on a circus show for all the common people!

Now: You know this is not going to be the wokest, most sensitive portrayal of body differences, because of course it isn't. But damn, it's pretty not-bad. The show treats all the circus members as valuable people worthy of affection, whose (occasionally exasperating) quirks are no more or less exhausting than those of the non-circus weirdos in the rest of the supporting cast.

I was half-expecting them to disappear after the first arc, but no! They’re a constant fixture through the show! They’re mostly there to support the show’s more comedic moments, but some of them get wrapped up in more emotional plotlines as well. And every now and then you get to see them actually do their circus shit, which is great.

I will admit that my fondness for them is related to how much I generally love fictional Freaks — you know, misfits who have banded together because society considers them unacceptably weird, but together their weirdnesses make them strong. When you find them, they’re usually the bad guys (e.g., the Gung-Ho Guns from Trigun, the Scorpion crew from Word of Honor) whose freak statuses make them formidable and occasionally sympathetic antagonists. But not so here! The Psych-Hunter Family Circus is good guy support all the way through to the final episode.

I know "found family" is a term that suffers from overuse, but that's the best way to describe what's happening here -- really, it's a family that's already found itself even before the show starts, and now they all live together as an unconventional collective of astonishingly flexible people. How did they find one another? Doesn't matter! What matters is that they all love and would do anything for their newest member, and they think it's great when he comes home with his attractive rich friends, who often arrive bringing snacks, which is really the best use for rich people, if you think about it.

3. Two hands, one ring

Now, if you've seen the series already, you know the moment I'm talking about. But if you haven't (and, statistically, you haven't), know that what I mean is the relationship between these two losers.

Together, Qin Yiheng and Jiang Shuo form the emotional core of the series. They're both drawn to one another because of mysterious circumstances that have started to align. Jiang Shuo's memory is missing, Qin Yiheng's dad has vanished, and all signs point to those absences as having something to do with one another.

Very early in the show, we see Qin Yiheng pull a "come with me if you want to live" on Jiang Shuo, giving the impression that he knows just what's going on in this crazy city. Except, no, he doesn't. Or does he? No, we're pretty sure he doesn't. Or he does, but he's forgotten what he knows, if he ever even knew it in the first place. Anyway, time to tie their hands together and jump into someone else's brain!

I'd say they're in love, but that's not quite it. Dr. Qin Yiheng, high-class homosexual, is in love with Jiang Shuo to the point where he's about to murder someone (possibly Jiang Shuo himself) out of frustration about it. Jiang Shuo, on the other hand, is much more sticking his fingers in his ears and going LA LA LA YOU CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS while trying get a girlfriend in an effort to pretend that all the shit they get up to together isn't tremendously romantic.

That is, until the scene that leads to the which-hand ring guessing game, at which point the burden of their relationship falls on Jiang Shuo (and the Inception parallels get unignorable) for exactly as long as the show will allow it to, before it freaks out and has to add another girl love interest just to make sure all the homos got no'd.

It's not textually gay, because seriously, have you met Chinese television? But it's pretty gay. Or, rather, I think Liu Dongqin (Qin Yiheng) is playing his character as a dedicated homosexual on purpose, and Hou Minghao (Jiang Shuo) is just ... kinda like that? I mean, everything I’ve seen him in, he gets real dreamy-eyed around strong men who pay close attention to him. Maybe it's just his thing as an actor. I'm not judging.

However, the main cast isn't just the two of them. One of the things that led me to this show was the promise of an OT3. And does it deliver on that promise?

Well ... sorta.

Qin Yiheng, Jiang Shuo, and Yuan Muqing are a pretty standard MFM not-love-triangle trio of Male Bestie, Main Guy, and Girlfriend (respectively). There's about five seconds at the beginning of the series where it looks like Yuan Muqing might be into Qin Yiheng, but no, that evaporates almost instantly and is never spoken of again -- and with it disappears most of their interactions with one another, period. So it's less an OT3, and more a case of bisexual cutiepie Jiang Shuo getting both a boyfriend and a girlfriend in a world where censorship will only let the latter relationship exist textually.

But damn if these boys aren't made for one another. Sure, there's a level of conscious comical queerbaiting to it -- I mean, there's straight-up an "only one bed" moment, so you know the show isn't stumbling into rainbow territory on accident. No matter how sexual or nonsexual or whatever you read it as, though, their dynamic is the spine that holds the story together. Really, it's almost sad how often the relationships are set parallel to one another, because when you do that, it becomes obvious how intense Jiang Shuo's bond with Qin Yiheng is, and how largely lackluster and comphet most of his canon romance with Yuan Muqing is by comparison.

Like so.

sidebar: The Girl

I am not going to go into a full-throated defense of The Girl this time, as I am wont to do, mostly because I think Yuan Muqing is full of potential in concept but so badly executed that there's really no hope for her. Her entire personality is whatever they need her to be in any particular scene. It's just that once in a while, what they need her to be is completely insane -- like, seeing-things-that-aren't-there insane -- and it's so great that it makes me mad! She could have been like this all the time! But noooooo

As it is, she has a perfunctory canonical romance with Jiang Shuo that's about as endgame as anything is capable of being (see point 5), and it actually gets pretty cute when it finally gets to the point where it's not just awkward obligation! But alas, it only does that so late in the series that it's not even worth it getting invested in it.

She is a creation of the show. She has no novel counterpart. Her entire function in the drama is to un-gay the dynamic between the boys. You can tell that she was initially supposed to have a different role -- to be the muscle of this trio -- but the narrative forgets pretty quickly that she's got that skill set, and she regresses to being The Girl. She makes dumb decisions that forward the plot. She gets put into danger whenever it's convenient. She demands Jiang Shuo do manly things for her because that’s what a girl is supposed to do, I guess? And then there are moments where she’s cool and crazy and it’s awesome! But they never last.

So if you are going to watch this, be prepared for the fact that the female lead is badly written to the point of frustration. I feel her actor is doing the absolutely best with what she's got; the problem is that what she's got is pretty crappy. Still, Muqing gets some pretty charming moments here and there, and I think it's worth hanging onto those and imagining the character she could have been, if the writers had cared just a little more, or even at all.

4. Powerfully surreal worldbuilding

I'm not even talking about the way people's psyches are structured according to dream logic -- the "normal" waking world is almost equally bizarre. The story takes place in sort of the real world c. 1930, except that a lot of things are off. For example, Japan and England are real locations, but China kinda isn't -- instead, the show takes place in a Shanghai-like city-state run by this moustachioed generalissimo with a faux Latin American dictator aesthetic. The place has its own flag and government and police force (where all the cops have coordinating surnames) and diplomatic relationships with other countries, so it’s clearly its own thing. But what that thing is? What it’s even called? Look, don’t worry about it. Nobody else is worried, so you shouldn’t be either.

You will, at every point in the series, be wondering if the show is trying to telegraph to you that Something's Not Quite Right Here, or if it's just making weird decisions for the sake of artsy weirdness. But don't worry -- there's absolutely no way to tell the difference between the two! Just roll with it.

There's a weird mix of universe rules happening throughout, where everything is mostly period-appropriate for a while, and then somebody builds a clock with levitating parts, or causes someone else to have very specific memory loss — or, again, swings some coins in front of a person’s face and gains the ability to treat their subconscious like a VR amusement park.

You can sort of reconstruct the evolution of this weirdness: The book has actual factual ghosts in it. Well, that’s fine for books, but TV isn’t allowed to have ghosts. But TV can have people who imagine ghosts, so long as it’s all in their heads. Okay, but you know jumping bodily into those imaginations isn’t actually a thing real people can do, right? Well, then let’s make it scientific. How can that be scientific? I don't know, it’s psychiatry. I don’t think that’s psychiatry. Look, it could be. Well, it’s definitely not psychiatry in 1930s Shanghai, and that’s the set we’re allowed to film on. Okay, what if it weren’t actually Shanghai? What if it weren’t actually 1930? What if all of this were at best a weird approximation of the period that adheres to no rules except the ones we want?

Once you’ve thought that, the sky’s the limit.

The show has a very inconsistent grasp on reality, and I am listing that as a pro instead of a con because I am choosing to embrace it as a deliberate choice rather than assume it’s the result of craven incompetence. There's something to be said, though, for how pervasively inconsistent it is. It'd be one thing if there were just a few plot holes here and there (and there are), but this is more along the lines of: We woke up in a mysterious boat and got taken to an island with a giant sea monster skeleton on the shore! What's that all about? Couldn't say! Was it real? Maybe! Moving on!

Let the number of "it's fine! who knows!" comments I've made throughout this rec indicate how much this is the kind of show you just have to roll with. If you are a nitpicker or someone who is troubled by unexplained nonsense, this is not the thing for you. If you love artistic magical realism and high strangeness, you will eat this up with a spoon.

And the lampshade that hangs over all of this worldbuilding is...

5. THE STUPIDEST POSSIBLE ENDING EVER

Okay, usually I am coy about when I think an ending has problems. I am going to drag this one out front and center: Psych-Hunter has an ending so jaw-droppingly, head-clutchingly stupid that I'm actually listing it as a selling point, because it has to be seen to be believed.

When I first watched it, I suspected the show ran out of time or money or something and just had to slap together the quickest possible ending ever. But no! This is the ending they meant! If you go back to the rest of the series, you can see that this is what they were (kinda) setting up the whole time! They just set it up so poorly and decided to make the twist hit at such a late point that not only is it complete nonsense, it actually renders moot the entire emotional stakes of the show! Absolutely incredible!

Now, as I've said before in other places, I don't begrudge the actual twist itself. I mean, it's stupid on its face, but I think they could have done something with it — if they'd had it happen halfway through the series, when the characters would have had time to adjust to the new knowledge. Instead, they slap it on at the last possible moment, when there's no time to have any reaction to it. It's just jarring and baffling, and then the whole thing's over.

I've seen lots of people say "season 2 when???" Season 2 never, friends. There was never going to be a season 2. The only reason you think this was an even remotely acceptable narrative move was that you were assuming that this would be the midpoint, not the end. You're having the same reaction I did, only I can tell this was always meant to be their spectacular dismount.

(To me, it's clear what happened: They J.J. Abramsed themselves into a cool premise for a mystery with no idea how to solve it, hoping they'd figure it out along the way. When they got to the end and still hadn't figured it out, they simply ... opted out of solving it.)

Now, if you want a normal viewing experience out of this show, watch to the end of the next-to-last episode, close your browser window, and have imagination adventures about how you think all the mysteries should resolve. But you're not going to. You are going to continue on to that last episode, and you are going to realize that nothing I could have said here could possibly have prepared you for this. And somewhere, I am going to feel the urge to cackle wickedly and not even know why. Except I'll know why. We'll both know why.

Want to watch this hot mess?

That baby's an iQiyi exclusive! But you can watch the first episode on YouTube, if you feel like getting a taste that way.

Look, I know I may have spoiled my pitch somewhat with that last selling point. After all, why would you bother watching a series if you know it has a shit ending?

I refute your objection thus: Knowing it has a shit ending changes the whole game, because it removes the feeling of betrayal that hits upon your discovering that the ending isn’t what you wanted. You know that already now, so there can be no betrayal. The ending goes from being an unpleasant surprise to being exactly the unexpected thing that you expected. With that in mind, you can dive right in (ha ha) knowing that you’ll never get the closure you crave, and therefore whatever you make up along the way is perfectly valid.

This is obviously a turnoff if you prefer shows that are like seeing someone start a magic trick, perform it without breaking a sweat, and walk off calmly, leaving you wondering how on earth they accomplished such an amazing thing. Think of this more as someone starting a magic trick, accidentally letting the rabbit fall out of their hat, saying “I meant to do that!” like thirty times, and suddenly vanishing through a trapdoor, leaving you wondering what the trick was even supposed to be in the first place — but they were really good-looking and well-dressed, so at least whatever they were doing was nice to look at while it was happening.

See? They're having fun.

#psych-hunter #心宅猎人 #house haunters #i made this #rec post #please watch this and then write more fic for it #I have a very selfish agenda here

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morningstarwrites · 12 days

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Idk if anyone has asked, but why Of Saints and Sinners? How'd you come up with the title? What was the inspiration? (Spoilers? Unless im dumb and just missed it. Woops.) And are you currently reading anything? Or something else has your interest?

Apologies in advance for the long answer!! See under the cut:

I've sort of been sprinkling it throughout, but I've been dealing with concepts of a good person vs a bad person: how Lucifer can't put Alastor in a simple box of pure evil, Alastor grappling over why Lucifer even wants to be friends with him when he's clearly wicked. Alastor insecure about how an angel wouldn't want to waste his time on a demon like him; Lucifer getting over his hatred of sinners and learning that there's layers to people.

Are they still worth knowing if they're bad? And what constitutes 'bad', when people can't be objective?

And of course the literal meaning, the sinner (Alastor) and the saintly/angel (Lucifer), but I'm a big fan of alliteration so I did Saints/Sinners as a compare/contrast. But it's very much "analyze the story to parse out the themes and relate it to the title" LOL

This may sound strange, but I haven't read any other radioapple fics 🫣 I kind of got sucked into them by 1) the show 2) seeing a lot of pretty fanart and 3) funny fan-made comics.

But I have been reading "We Learn Nothing" by Tim Kreider, he's an essayist and a writer for the New York Times!

#radioapple #ao3 fanfic #ask #this is long my god

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thesiblingsoftheblackandwhite · 3 months

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A doll tumbles off a shelf as a song begins to play from nowhere. “ Disappointment takes us by surprise…Even though by now I think we should have realized, everyone is dumb.” The small toy, a strange combination of a pink princess animal and a pegasus, begins to walk on its plush legs towards the quintet of brothers. The la’s and dumbs play with each step.“There must be something in the corn flakes” As the song plays its eyes blink, and it reaches up into the air with its tiny fingerless hands.

She grew, her fluffy plush arms lengthening. “Making it hard for us to think straight,” Hands came through the material and they transformed into sleeves. “Aaaahh” The colors go from soft pink to a sparkling silver with neon pink embroidery forming spirals along the sleeves, and soon a vibrant blue and highlighter yellow sets of thread join the pink.

“I just wanna go from here!” Her eyes blink to the beat and transform with her face into human eyes that are a little too big, and a little too cartoonish to be normal. “Close my eyes and disappear”. They have heart pupils set against green eyes.

The legs flexed and narrowed and combined together into 2 stocky human legs, and bright red platform boots with green laces replaced her fabric hooves. They had some sort of magic shimmer to them as she tapped her feet to the song. “I just wanna be the comic relief,” She threw her arms in performed exasperation, mouthing along to the words and beginning to dance. “Making jokes, not taking any responsibilities!”

Her cute tail exploded into confetti which circled her body like a magical girl transformation. “It's waking up inside of the dream.” Once it rose to circle her head her new outfit was fully revealed, a glittery silver and rosy red party dress, completely with a ridiculously oversized bow on the back, more embroidered spirals trailing across her body, and lots of glitter. Don't know what to believe-” She posed for the “woo!” And grinned. “Maybe that's why…”

“Disappointment takes us by surprise,” She met each of their eyes as she danced. “Even though by now I think we should have realized…”

Everyone is dumb- dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb…”

The new being leaped into air, flipped twice, and landed inches from Blinky’s face, sending him sprawling backwards. The song faded into quiet background noise, but it wasn’t gone. Her hair was ginger and tied into cartoony heart shaped buns with purple ribbons. “I’m back! Your Mother says hello, and I say it’s been too long!” Her voice was clearly…Shadow’s??? She twirled around and revealed a childish plastic wand. “Abra Kadabra and Gobbledygook! I give you all a freebie off the book!”

A flash of light shot out of the toy wand and their couch burst into a much larger and more comfortable pullout couch bed, complete with blankets. “You’re welcome! I can’t stay long but I wanted to give you something, since our connection to you has been interrupted so rudely by the asshole up there. Hopefully the rest of us can reunite! You can call me Shiney now.”

The five stare at the figure, huddled together at some point during the transformation out of caution. Wiggog bares his teeth threateningly, wrapping Karaxis up protectively. He frantically tries to help Blinky up after he stumbles back with a confused expression. Pokotho and Nibblenephim have backed away together, clearly as frightened as the rest of their brothers. Nibbly audibly growls in an attempt to sound like an animal.

She poses as the song ends and says things. But they’re much too focused on the insanity that just happened to listen.

When the toy wand transforms the house’s old couch into a pullout, they marginally relax, but it’s not enough. The figure’s voice is oddly familiar, but they can’t think about that through their defensive positions.

Blinky shields his eyes, discomforted at the bright colors that contrast sharply against the dull reds and browns of the house. He squints, trying to piece together where this person came from. Tinky, for his part, is staring through his brother’s arms with a mixture of confusion, a twinge of fear, and awe. The bright colors attract him, but he can’t bring himself to move, either. She’s saying things about his father and…mother? He can’t really get it. She turned their couch into a bigger one, that looked a lot more comfortable, so he guessed she was nice…

Who the fuck are you?!?

#(WOO SHADOW!!! 👏👏👏 sorry they don’t recognize you immediately :( /j //OOC)#The Lords in Black #Wiggog Y’wrath #ask blog #rp blog #hatchetfield rp #Blog Event: Hatchetfield Citizens

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inkyquince · 8 months

Text

The Other Miguel (Part 1/2)

characters. Miguel O'Hara (Spiderverse)

content warning. nothing much in this chapter, the next chapter is the nasty one (hint, baby trapping, noncon). Reader has the ability to get pregnant, but its gender neutral, either way, it's implied that spider radiation gave you a hyperfertile hole (so either fpreg or mpreg is able to take place). There's more... Talking about twilight-new-moon type depression, some angst, verbal altercations. There's some puppy love and a light hearted sex scene in here too. That, and the hint of darker intentions. Also you read this and you get to know how much of a nerd inky is about spiderman, there's characters and lore dropped that is very much comic book based.

words. 6k.

Joining the Spider Society was the greatest privilege you had ever been given in your life. You didn’t think they’d ever really accept you, being as new as you were to the position as the friendly neighbourhood spider. Especially when it came with the scrutiny of being the… “Second” one. The next one. The protege. The one mentored for far too short before he died. When Peter died. Freak accident. You were there. You held him as he died.

And that’s when you met him. Among the collapsed building, the strange villain that glitched and spasmed and seemed to throb through the thin strings of reality, still gearing up to attack you. Something seemed to slice through the air next to you, a gash appearing, swirling and malevolent. At least at the time. Then he walked through. Gait predatory and sure, towering over you, where you were sitting in the dust and rubble, with a body in your arms that struggled to draw breath.

“We’ll handle it from here.”

And he did. Miguel liked to handle things his own way. He handled the villain easier than your Peter had. He handled the situation. He handled you. His broad, clawed hand encompassed your entire wrist as he pulled you up onto your feet. Telling you that he’ll contact you later, and congratulating you on the new position. You had a feeling he was being sarcastic.

He left then. You were left behind with a lingering promise that you weren’t alone. You were also left with the body of your mentor. You begged and begged him to hold on, Just a few more minutes. But he couldn’t. Not for you. Fuck, not for the ambulance, not for his fucking girlfriend, what’s-her-face, Betty, and not for the entire fucking city who needed him more than they needed you.

“It was a shock.” Betty had sniffed at the podium, his casket in front of her. “I knew he was private about things but-”

But. But. But. Peter Parker was Spiderman. He had been Spiderman. He was alive. He had been alive. Betty had confided in you that she had begun to think Peter just didn’t like her. Which was dumb. She was like his first proper girlfriend and she was worried that he didn’t like her. She was mulled over breaking up with him and now she was crying because she didn’t know that all that time away, he was fighting for the city. Fucking Betty. Even Jamieson was gruff as he spoke about Peter.

You didn’t get to say anything about him. You didn’t get to walk there and cry for him, like Betty did. Like MJ did. You didn’t get to take a breather and grip the podium, like his Aunt May. You didn’t get to get choked up and stare ahead, like Jonah. Even Eddie Brock was allowed a few soft words, his eyes looking wet and wide.

You didn’t get to walk up there and talk about how Peter found you. He helped you. He compared the spider bite he got with yours. You didn’t get to smile and share stories about how he made you watch the Matrix first before talking about the leap of faith you had to take. When he teased you for your suit design, before squawking like a bird when you found his notebooks of his own first designs.

No. You got to sit at the back, as the little friend Peter made at some sort of function or whatever. Photography, or some sort of hobby class. No one asked. You were just there one day. His little friend. Not the person he saved and spent weekends, nights, lunchtimes with. So, you stood by everyone else as they buried him. You left the third bouquet of flowers on the grave, you were the twelfth person to offer condolences to Aunt May. You were the last to leave. Long after Betty and May, you were still there, sitting at the back, on the bench. Eventually, he came to join you.

Miguel sat down, towering over you even seated.

“It had to be like this.” He eventually said, something heavy in his voice, as if he had any idea.

“Go fuck yourself.” You dragged your sleeve over your face. Not that it did anything. The tear tracks would need to be scrubbed away by bleach. They would have to be dug out of your skin with nails and knives and claws.

He tensed up, as if struggling to not snap at you. Probably doesn’t get a lot of back talk that wasn’t light hearted teasing.

“... I’m sorry.” He tried again.

You wanted to punch him. If he had come earlier, then Peter might still be alive. Then he’d still be here. Taking pictures of himself as you snorted at his elaborate set ups. Ducking Betty’s questions. Going to Aunt May’s every Sunday. Teaching you. Being with you.

Your silence seemed to agitate him. Good.

“I wanted to… Extend an offer to join our group.”

You repeated the earlier request for him to go fuck himself and stood. Rubbed at the tear stains tattooed onto your face at this point and you walked off. He watched you go.

A week later, you were in his dark ass office, being shown around at the different villains and Spider people. You even got another look at the villain that took your Peter from you. Shocker. Fucker. Hell, you knew your own universe’s Herman. Nice guy.

So life went on.

You help out when you can. You saw Miguel. You went home. You cried. You mourned on and on. The hurt never felt like it lifted. You miss your Peter every day. There were others around, other Peter’s, but they weren’t yours. Even when some recognized you as that “sweet kid”, or something like it, in his voice, in Peter’s voice, it did nothing but make tears prick at your eyes. It was fucking unfair. So many Peter’s and none of them yours.

Life went on, and you watched it go. The flowers bloomed without him, the days changed without him, and someone sat next to you in photography class… Without him.

Worst of all, it was him. Your Miguel. No, not yours, but your world’s. Younger. Not as beefy. Leaner. There were no lines curving along his eye, and he was looking at you. Spider Miguel looked at you darkly, as if you were two steps away from pissing him off and he was warning you not to. There was always something glimmering.

Your Miguel’s eyes crinkled as he shot you a smile. Asked if you had a pen he could use. Uttered a soft thank you as you handed one over.

It was nice. Seeing him like this. As if it let you in on a secret, on someone he might have been once upon a time. A light hearted guy that was kinda… Whiny. Instead of becoming tense, with his teeth gritting when you teased him, he’d scrunch his nose and he’d fucking whine at you. He’d say he wasn’t, but the way his tone would shift higher when he wheedled you to knock it off. It was kinda cute. Made you want to ask Lyla if the other Miguel had ever been like that. If he ever had to whine at another Spiderperson for pointing at him or something.

“What’s that smile for?” Your Miguel caught your attention as he idly filled up your kettle.

“Hm?”

“That smile. I feel like you’re making fun of me in your head.” He eyed the jar of coffee you bought especially for him.

“Maybe I am. Maybe I’m making fun of your pretentious ass coffee.”

“Not pretentious.” Miguel eyes you darkly, but there’s something light in them. Of course, there was also that whine tilting at the end of the sentence. Cute.

“So pretentious.”

“Is not.”

You smiled at him.

“There you go. Making fun of me in your head again.” He muttered.

You kinda wanted to fuck him. You’d wonder if he’d whine as much in bed as he did staring at your cabinet, with your ensemble of hot drink sachets and bags.

You shook your head, the back of your neck feeling hot. Don’t be gross, you chided yourself, this was Miguel. A Miguel. You knew two. Sleeping with one will make you look at the other all weird. What if your Miguel fucked really badly and then you’d quietly think about how the other Miguel is a two pump chump through every damn meeting. Worse, if he fucked really good. How were you supposed to concentrate if you knew your gut that he could make you cum three times in a night.

Glancing up, you caught your Miguel looking at you over the rim of his coffee cup, dark eyes glinting. His lips quirked when you noticed him. As if he knew what you were thinking. Which, of course, he didn’t, at least not all of what you were thinking. No, that would blow his entire fucking brain up.

His bottom lip cushioned the rim of his cup as he took another sip. His eyes glimmered. Yeah. He at least knew you were thinking about fucking him. At least half as much as he was thinking about fucking you.

Well, according to the buzzing coming from your back pocket, that would have to wait.

“Alright. I’ve got to get this. Pour your pretentious coffee into a to-go cup and get out.” You shot him a grin and his dark eyes turned brighter.

“Oh fuck you.”

He wished. Then you wished. God, you wished you stayed behind for a fuck as the other Miguel ground you into the dirt beneath his heel. Not literally, but Christ, that man could wear down a boulder into a pebble.

Other Miguel always seemed to take particular issue with you. Fuck, maybe his idea of getting you to join this damn team finally bit him in the ass. His ambivalence at first might have been ground into flat out dislike, except he did more or less talk to everyone the same way. He just seemed especially short with you at times.

You did have sympathy for the guy. Overworked, probably underpaid, but then again, that would be him shooting himself in the foot. He ran the entire thing, didn’t he? Underpaid himself… Did you even get paid with this job? How much did you make an hour-

“Are you even listening to me?” Hot breath washed over your ear as Miguel leaned down to growl to you.

You froze up a bit, real… Well, not deer, but a shitting rat in the driveway as the car reverses… In the tail lights. Yeah, shitting rat in the tail lights. Less dignified than a deer.

“Yeah. Sure. Sorry. Yeah.” You tilted your head at him, given he wouldn’t be able see the placating grin you shot him.

“Then what did I just say?” He folded his arms and cocked his hip to the side.

“Something something, don’t fuck up again or I’ll kick your ass?”

Miguel took a moment to stare at you with that inscrutable mask but apparently you were more or less on the mark. You already knew what he was going to say the moment you fumbled your attack and instead went tumbling ass over heels to the side. Miguel was forced to divert from his path to grab you at the last moment. Hell, his entire hand could just grab your waist and actually keep a hold of you. Fling you like a ragdoll into the air after a beat of a second, with him towering over you, chest heaving as he stares down at you. Just a second, he was close, and protecting you, and holding you firm, like the first time he did when you met him. Then he threw you. He knew you would easily swing to safety, but still.

Your hip tingled where his broad, clawed hand had held you tight. Like a brand seared into your skin. You cocked your hip a bit, as if trying to throw off the feeling of his hand, and his angular spider mask eyes seemed to follow the movement. Or he could be looking at the mess around you. Rubble and collapsed building, with the dimension breaking villain, a Goblin maybe, tied up to the side.

“Could have been hurt.” Miguel muttered, sounding gruff.

“You mean someone else could have been hurt. A civilian could have been squashed into an innocent-life-pancake.”

“No.” He snapped, his broad shoulders tensing up further. You could see the fine line of his muscles through the suit. “You.”

The word hung in the air, just like the day you two first met, and the dust hung in the air, suspended in time. You bloodied, Peter wheezing at your feet, and Miguel watching. The moment broke a second later, but the memory was imprinted in your mind. You could taste that moment in the air, now.

“You.” Miguel repeated.

You understood. One Spiderman died on his watch, and he was going to make sure he didn’t have his protege’s death on his conscience too. It was already littered with graves. Tightly packed graveyards had the tendency to flood when it rained. You doubted he would enjoy the bones drifting down his stream of thought while he was busy.

“... He…” You tried, feeling the words get caught up in your throat, as if cobwebs tied your vocal chords together. “It wasn’t your fault he-”

“I know.” Miguel snapped at you, suddenly back in your face, fanged teeth bared like an animal. “I didn’t fail Peter.”

His emphasis on the “I” gave you pause. As if he was not the person in the equation to blame.

“... You think I-”

“I don’t think. I don’t think anything of you.” He folded his arms. The words tumbled from his lips, as if he couldn’t wait to get them out, but his eyes blinked as if he was bewildered.

A part of you hoped he misspoke, that he just meant he didn’t think you were to blame for the situation, but his immediate response, that he didn’t…. Well. It wasn’t like you two were friends. Mentor and student, even if you had started to crave that with him. That leadership that your Peter gave you. No, it was stupid of you to look for the friendship you had with your Miguel, with the other one. The other one that let your Peter die.

“... Great. Thanks.” You turned away and dusted the dirt off your suit, shoulders hunched.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.” He huffed, shifting his weight as he cocked his hip so the side again. “I’m not to blame for him dying. He was injured when I got there. You, however-”

“Yeah. Me. I let him die. I hear you.” You hated that your voice sounded brittle. Tight, like you were about to cry.

“You-”

“I know!” You finally snapped, your throat getting tighter. “Fucking hell, I get it.”

Miguel’s shoulders tensed. You kicked a piece of rubble and fiddled with your watch.

“Let’s just ditch this conversation while we can.” You eventually mumbled.

“Don’t you dare walk off while I’m talking to you.” Miguel snarled, the rest of his body tensing up.

You ignored him, as the blinding orange and red lights of the portal slashed through the air next to you, opening up the way back to your own dimension. He took another step towards you, his hand reaching up to slip a thumb underneath his mask. You couldn’t argue with him, not with your Miguel’s face looking at you, tired and aged.

“Pretty disrespectful.” Goblin agreed, somewhat muffled.

You started, having completely forgotten your surroundings, and the Green Goblin tied up, snug and tight off to the side. Miguel was just as startled and ripped his hand away from his own mask. With his attention back on the villain, he turned away from you and you slipped away. Back home.

Empty apartment. No Peter. Just you. You and your phone buzzing with a message, a simple request to come over. Not so alone maybe.

“-you.”

“Huh?”

“... C’mon, don’t make me repeat it.” Your Miguel scowled at you. You’d think he was pissed, if not for the darkening blush dusting his cheekbones. You felt kinda bad, having zoned out while he was talking, the other Miguel’s vast back tense in your mind’s eye. Your Miguel cleared his throat a bit, and shifted on the sofa seat next to you, this time turning to look at you head on.

There was a beat of silence. He sighed.

“Mierda.” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “I like you. There. Get to bare my soul twice now.”

You blinked.

“Like friends?”

“I’m going to leave.” Miguel grumbled, the tips of his ears a deep red at this point. He started to get up but you grabbed the sleeve of his grey jacket.

“Miguel, wait…” You tried to calm your suddenly racing thoughts, flitting between how much you wanted to tell Miguel that you felt the same, and about the ethics of the situation, that this was an alternate universe version of a man that was your boss and didn’t seem to like you.

What the fuck would you do? If you found out that other Miguel had found a different universe’s you and started going out with them? How would you feel? Not that your feelings could ever match Miguel’s, you could barely even understand HIM most of the time.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek for a moment, fingers curling into his soft sleeve. Miguel watched you, getting a bit antsy. You were too lost in your own thoughts to notice the simmering look that entered his eyes, and he started to lean into you. It was like you blinked and suddenly he was face to face with you, his nose gently bumping against yours as his dark eyes looked into yours. You don’t even know what he saw in your expression that gave him the courage. A matching look of barely controlled heat? A somewhat doe eyed blink up at him? Or your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as his hand dragged along the back of the sofa, just so his finger tips could skim yours?

It didn’t matter. Whatever he saw gave him courage, and barely a second could pass before he leaned in fully, his hand coming up to cup your chin. His fingers were smooth, warm against your skin, gently dragging his thumb over the edge of your jaw.

It was nice. It was good. It was an innocent kiss, his lips warm and soft against yours. You could feel his breath tickle your cheek as he angled for a deeper kiss. So sweet. It made you remember back to kisses with high school boyfriends, chaste and eager. You sighed into it softly and Miguel leaned in further, a hand slipping to graze his fingers over your knee.

After a few more blissful seconds you both parted, Miguel’s ears a dark red, but now there was a triumphant glint in his eye as he looked over you, like a hunter casting his eye over his freshly snagged prey. And you? You made your choice.

“Hey, Miguel?”

“Yeah?”

“I might just like you too.”

Miguel’s shaky exhale of breath came so fast it almost sounded like a moan. His fingers against your face lost their soft grip, instead cupping your jaw with intent as he leaned back in.

This kiss was not as sweet and innocent as the first one. His tongue immediately slipped between your lips, just to drag greedily over your front teeth. The fingers skimming your knee stopped their idly skating, and instead began to firmly squeeze your upper thigh. You were foolish to believe that your Miguel wasn’t as suffocating in his presence as the other Miguel. The way he greedily pushed against you, his hand abandoning your face to press against the sofa back behind you, chest to chest… He encompassed you. As his teeth teased your bottom lip, biting into it gently and tugging, you could finally see how he could become the man you knew, the Spiderman with the fangs of a beast, and the clawed hands of a predator. It was always lurking, in the way he appraised you, and in the way he was currently tugging at your shirt, a poacher skinning the elusive creature he had spent months stalking from the brush.

The lines between your Miguel, the soft eyed, gentle man you had met in a class, and the other one, the one with a beast crawling underneath the suit of a hero and the skin of a man, were blurring. Your Miguel was just a few steps away from becoming just like the version that saved your life.

If your Miguel noticed how hazy you were getting, he said nothing, but the curve of his smile said it all. His ministrations were going straight to your head, as his lips kissed from yours, down your throat, to focus on making marks against your skin.

His lithe hands dragged over your freshly bared skin, thumb lightly ghosting over your nipple before pressing down on it and rolling the sensitive tissue between two of his fingers. He was skilled, his hands experienced, and his tongue devilish as it tasted the skin that he pinched between his teeth. You didn’t even notice that you were practically malleable in his grasp, your own fingers simply gripping his jacket, head tilted back as your breath came too quickly. You didn’t care, you needed this. You needed to just lay back and let him have his way. Every day you forced yourself to move, to work, to think, and your Miguel seemed more than okay with taking charge over you.

You didn’t object when he pushed you down on the couch, towering over you as he roughly tugged his own jacket and shirt off, to be thrown and forgotten on the floor.

“You’ve got a really pretty pair.” Miguel said, almost conversational, as he dragged a hand over your chest, thumb flicking your nipple before dropping a kiss to your sternum.

“Well, so do you.” You lightly teased back, reaching out to smack his own pair of tits, but he grabbed your wrist, instead pressing your fingers against his mouth, dark eyes trained on yours over them.

With one hand dragging over your stomach slowly, as if he was stroking over a pet’s belly, he parted his lips to taste your fingers against his tongue, dragging the hot muscle over the length of your digits. His teeth gently grazed the tips. He was also greedily undoing the buttons to your trousers, able to yank the garment down, trapping your thighs together, with just one hand.

He pressed another open mouthed kiss to your fingers before dropping your hand in favour of restoring his full attention to your trousers. To be fair, you could return the favour. The fucking monster already tenting in his trousers was a sight to behold. There was a small dark patch at the tip. Your stomach flipped when you realised it was precum. This man was desperate to fuck you. He hid it too well, the way he had hungered, but his body was unable to lie in this moment. The way he shifted, the way his lips were slightly parted, the way his tongue dragged over his bottom teeth as he finally got your trousers off and tossed them to the side. Miguel didn’t even seem aware of the rush of breath that escaped him at the sight of your underwear, using one big hand to palm at your crotch greedily, yet almost clumsily.

He moved to peel down your undergarments, but you slipped your leg up from between his thighs and firmly pressed your foot against his chest.

“Not so fast.” You teased, but the way his dark eyes shot up to yours, flashing with something fiery, made your throat dry.

Just like the other Miguel. Didn’t like being interrupted in his mission. Almost made you smile.

“Your trousers shouldn’t be on right now.” You swallowed and finally continued, shooting him a shaky grin.

Miguel’s eyes softened again and he snorted, rolling his eyes. He dragged his palms over your hip bones again before straightening up and beginning to undo his belt.

“Such a little pervert.” He murmured, a lopsided grin tilting at his lips.

“Hey, just trying to level the playing field.” You quipped back, but you couldn't deny that your eyes were hungering for the sight of your Miguel, completely bare, just for you.

He deigned to ignore you as he finally wrestled his belt off and glanced around for a bare piece of floor, not yet littered with clothes. He stuck his tongue out a bit as he tossed the offending garment, and managed for it to snag onto the front door handle for only a second before dropping down.

“Missed.” You smirked.

“Didn’t. The door handle fumbled the catch.” Miguel eyed the item before continuing to unbutton his trousers.

“Still counts as a miss I think.”

“It fucking does not.”

“Does t-” Your teasing died on your tongue as he yanked his trousers down to his thighs.

Of course the man didn’t wear underwear. Obviously threw the entire idea of boxers out the window when he made up his mind that today was the day he was going to confess to you. His foresight was better than the other Miguel’s damn hindsight.

It was unfair how fucking perfect his cock was. Precum slipping down, riding along the veins down to his swollen balls. The head of his cock dark, almost painful looking. It twitched a bit as your knee brushed past the tip, bobbing a bit as Miguel gave up on trying to get his trousers fully off without moving from his knelt position on the sofa. Resigning himself to his own trapped thighs, he playfully swatted your foot away from his chest and went back to peeling down your underwear.

Despite not being pressed against his skin anymore, you could still feel his breath hitch in his chest.

“Pretty.” He dragged his hand against your inner thigh and gave it a squeeze. “Real pretty.”

His thumb greedily stroked along the hot skin, enjoying how you squirmed and sighed as you drifted over the sensitive flesh before arriving at your hole. Just dragging his finger over it had you squirming. But his intense attention on you, vulnerable and open to him, had a thought squirm into your head and burrow down.

“Hey, Miguel?” You caught his attention again, his soft eyes meeting yours. “... Do you have a condom?”

Some Spiders became infertile from the radiation poisoning. Others got hyperfertile. One guy laid eggs. You really didn’t want to find out in which category you fell into, not right now.

His thick eyebrows rose a bit, before twitching.

“Yeah, sure.” He fussed with his trapped trousers, pulling his wallet out and digging around just to toss a length of wrapped condoms down onto your stomach.

“Wow.” You snorted softly.

“What?”

“You were THAT sure you were going to get lucky after confessing your crush?” You grinned at him, idly picking them up and dangling them.

“Oh, shut up. I always have them in there.” Miguel rolled his eyes and used the moment to finally kick his trousers all the way off before getting back into position and swiping them from you.

“You ALWAYS have them with you?” You teasingly pressed your foot against his broad chest again, idly dragging it down to his stomach before counting each individually wrapped condom. “What, you walk around, hoping to get to fuck nine times?”

Miguel neatly grabbed your ankle, pulling you down more to rest it on his shoulder, dragging his fingers along your shin. Nefarious glint in his eyes.

“Why are you asking? Jealous?”

The accusation had you flushing, your cheeks heating up immediately as he sneered in triumph, pressing a kiss to your ankle.

“Shut up.” You grumbled and Miguel gave a husky laugh in response.

He considered the matter settled, using his teeth to rip open the foil to one of the condoms. With a low breath, he rolled the material down, over his cock, to the base before tossing the foil, letting it flutter down, onto your shirt. Miguel tossed the rest to the side, in easy reach for when there was inevitably a round two, and shot you another teasing smirk.

“Happy?”

“On Cloud 9. Not even God could strike me down now.”

Miguel rolled his eyes and grabbed your other ankle to place it on his shoulder, pressing down a bit as if to make sure you won’t shift it away.

“Perfect. Now, let me prep you before God waltzes in through the front door and punishes you for safe sex.” You managed a snort before he grabbed your waist and dragged you against him properly, so your ankles were shifted down his back and your knees rested on his shoulders.

With you closer, Miguel got to wind his arms around your middle and hoisted your entire body up, so your back was no longer touching the sofa, and you could feel his hot breath rushing over your sensitive hole. You couldn’t even take a moment to swear, when his tongue was on you.

The feeling of his hot, wet muscle dragging over you shocked your system. It had been so long since you slept with someone, meaningful relationship or one night stand, it didn’t matter. You had been wrapped up in your own personal cloud of sadness, you couldn’t even think of sex. So long without a warm body next to you, and now Miguel’s scorching one was hunched over you, his tongue lapping hungrily over your hole before pressing the tip inside, just enough to make you gasp and arch your back.

“A-Ah, fuck!” You hissed out between your teeth, arching your back as he lapped at your hole, dipping the tip in every now and then.

“Relax.” He murmured against you, one of his hands pressing on your stomach, manoeuvring you properly, making sure you couldn’t even dream of wriggling away from him. “Relax for me. Can’t fuck you if you won’t fucking relax.”

Miguel’s tongue was brutal. Tasting you, wriggling deeper inside of you, one hand on your stomach, squeezing the flesh with the other one groping at your chest. Using his nail to press down on a nipple before using the pad of his thumb to ease the sting of his pinch. He kept swapping his hands, always needing one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. Lavishing them with attention and relishing the feeling of soft flesh at his mercy. But there was only so much a hot blooded man like him could take, with his cock straining and precum smearing against your back.

Giving your glistening hole one last kiss, he slowly lowered you so your back was flat against the couch again. Miguel took a moment to drink you in fully, a fine sheen of sweat cascading down your body, your hole spread and ready, and most delectably, the blissed out look on your face.

Cute. As if you had no idea what was coming, what he was dying to do to you. Like this was the highest level of pleasure he was going to bring you to tonight. Miguel leaned down to press a kiss to your stomach before shifting his weight. The cute gasp you made when he nudged his wrapped cockhead against your hole nearly killed him.

Leaning down, his broad hand slipped around the back of your neck, pulling you in for a soft kiss, turned sharp with his teeth hungrily biting down on your bottom lip, tasting your tongue, your flesh. With your tongue trapped between his teeth, he slowly pressed his cockhead in, pressing close to swallow down any whines you made. The push inside was slow and methodical, drinking in the feeling of your tight, warm hole around his throbbing cock. He had spent too much time thinking about this moment, so much time with his hand cupping his balls, and his tongue trapped between his teeth as he scrolled through your pictures. It was biting him in the ass now, the feeling of his balls aching so badly that he felt like he was about to burst. Miguel refused to fucking cum when he just bottomed out inside of you, like some virgin.

He stayed inside of you, nibbling and sucking at your lips gently, both desperately buying enough time not to fucking cum at the first thrust, but also drinking in the feeling of getting to taste you like this. Everything he had dreamed of, and more.

“I think…” You murmured after a moment, Miguel’s kisses trailing down your jaw. “I think we might have to use all nine of those condoms.”

You felt him snicker against your skin and he slowly pulled out, waiting just a moment before slamming back inside of you, deep enough for you to arch your back.

“Feeling that ambitious?” He murmured, before dragging his tongue up, over your pulse point. “Might regret that. Gonna be the fucking sorest in the world after all that.”

“So cocky.”

“I aim to hit the expectations I set for you.”

The second sorest person in the world, well, in a world, was second Miguel. Worse, it was an emotional soreness. His body ached from the fight and chest ached from the one that followed just a few minutes after, between you and him. It shouldn’t. He had worse spats just talking with Lyla. But ever since he… He witnessed your Peter’s death, watching you try to get back from it, just… Everything. He’s had… Not exactly a soft spot, for you. More like… Sore spot. Yeah, that worked. Every time he saw you, it twinged. There was an ache, thrumming underneath his suit, bruising his skin. He couldn’t see it, but he could feel it, right there, between his ribs, as he breathed in. It hurt every time he inhaled around you. It hurt worse when he wasn’t around you.

And now, today’s fuck up? It itched. It burned, and no amount of distracted rubbing against his covered chest with his palm eased the feeling. It plagued him. So much so that a few hours into the night, he had enough. Kicked his sheets off and hunting for his boxers to slip on. He should be sleeping, but Miguel couldn’t stop thinking about the words you two shared that day. It was the middle of the night over in your dimension, he could slip over, take your annoyed berating at his entrance in the middle of the night, apologise… Then leave again. Some part of him wondered if you’d ask him to stay, to share a cup of something warm at your table, to properly talk, get everything out. It’d be nice. He wasn’t that close to anyone, and maybe… Maybe it would be something of a balm for his sore spot. Something to alleviate the pain and maybe one day it wouldn’t twinge with regret anymore.

A rare smile flickered on his lips as he pulled on his jacket. Yeah, no downsides. Except… If you had someone over? His fingers stopped skimming over his watch at the thought. No, you wouldn’t… Would you? Nah. You didn’t seem too interested in connecting to other people in that way, which Miguel could relate to. With a shake of his head, he vanquished those pesky thoughts. No, he was just trying to look for a reason not to go to you.

He wasn’t a coward… Though, perhaps, he should knock on your front door, instead of appearing in your living room. Just in case. What could go wrong?

#nsft #quincewrites #atsv #miguel o hara #miguel o'hara #across the spiderverse #second part should be up later #but first finish this comm hopefilly

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