I don’t think I can keep listening to mitski anymore. It’s getting too relatable, that I’m not even bending some of the meanings, or perspectives, or anything. It’s just relatable. Class of 2013? Because dreaming costs money, my dear? First Love/Late Spring? I’m hurt. No. That’s an understatement. I fell of the ledge I’m on, and fell into a traffic cone.
mitski, strawberry blond / e.c., love freely / chen chen, when i grow up i want to be a list of further possibilities / hanya yanagihara, a little life / interview with cohen by kris kirk, poetry commotion, June 18, 1988 / gabriela mistral, from a letter to doris dana
Written for @drarrymicrofic 's song prompt "Strawberry Blond" by Mistki. G | 350
A Bottle of Summer
The wind glazes the field, bringing along the smell of grass and wild flowers on its journey. The sky is high and blue, the kind of sky only appears in the summer. Everything seems to ring in tune with the cicadas' song.
In the car, the radio is broadcasting your favourite song. You sing along it, loud and off tune. I complain, despite secretly loving it. You sing even louder. I narrow my eyes and then I sing too, at the top of my lung. You rise your volume. By the end of the song, we are both hoarse and grinning.
I want to bottle this moment. I will keep it on the bookshelf in my office, so that whenever life wears me out, I can open it and relive this summer.
You say I'm too attached to the past. I beg to differ: if I were, I would have still hated you. But maybe you have a point. I can't seem to let go of any seconds we spend together, whether it's bad or good.
But who can blame me? Because tomorrow, next month, next summer, you may not be by my side anymore. And that thought kills me.
It could be just my insecurity. It could be the damn depression which took you months to pull me out of. Or, it could be how sometimes, you look at her for too long. I know you're imagining the life you could have with her if you didn't choose me, how easy and peaceful it would be. I'm dreaded when you will wake up and realise that I'm not worth giving up that life.
"Stop overthinking," you say, eyes on the road. It's long and sinuous.
"I'm not!" Once glance at the mirror shows me that my lie was useless: my cheeks are flaming.
You huff. "I don't know why I love how difficult you are."
I close my eyes, refusing to look at the mirror. I know my whole face is red. "You have weird taste."
I made this! Hazel and Alexander animatic to Strawberry Blond by Mitski! Characters from Murder Most Unladylike series by @redbreastedbird (Robin Stevens!)
youtube
I storyboarded this 2 years ago and never got around to drawing it, but we finally did it!
this is my favorite song at the moment. It's light hearted yet feels like loving someone who doesn't love you back(in the platonic way for me at least)
"I love everybody because I love you
When you stood up, walked away, barefoot
And the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape
I looked over it and I ached"