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scoundrels-in-love · 6 years

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LMIYD and Bo, analysis of an a-hole

After @strawwolf picked up cdrama Love Me If You Dare, I ended up thinking about the drama again and why I stopped somewhere around 15th episode. I do plan to finish it, I did not hate it. But why did it lose its appeal to me?

Mostly, I asked this question, because, you see, I love smart asshole trope. I won’t deny this. From some of my favorite mangas (Special A and Kaichou wa Maid-sama! - don’t judge me, I was early teens) to my favorite TV shows, most of them have this trope. And I take it every time - line, hook and sinker.

So, why not in Love Me If You Dare? (This may contain spoilers, to be honest, but I will try to minimized them.)

And as I thought, I started to realize some stark differences between Bo and male leads I love. Even in mangas, though I may not recall correctly as I have not been in touch with source material in about 8 to 10 years, while there is rivalry between male and female leads, it is usually instigated by the female. She fervently wants to beat the naturally talented male and through hard work, she also manages to, now and then.

Through hard work and his and their friend support. The thing is, the male lead may be stand-offish, cold, snappy and sometimes even drop a mean comment that hurts the female lead, but when it comes down to important things, he’ll support and believe in her. He will help out her crazy schemes and make them work, risking his position and sometimes health. Deep down, he admires her and loves her long before she realizes her feelings for him. He has his reasons for silence (like wanting to let her come to conclusions herself instead of rushing her feelings) and sometimes he sticks to them for too long, nearly losing her in the process, but ultimately, he will fall and rise for her, even in just a friend position.

My first TV show that I obsessed with was The Mentalist. It also gave me my first TV show OTP - Patrick Jane and Teresa Lisbon, called Jisbon. Granted, that was good 4 years ago now, and looking back, I can’t say I’d fall for Jisbon as fervently as I did, if I had been entirely grown up and exposed to some things as I am now. The show has its problems, the couple has its problems. But, most of the time, they are actually treated like problems. Not something that should be a part of healthy relationship.

Jane matches Bo in many ways - he’s traumatized, brilliant, emotionally closed off and seems to think himself to be better and smarter than anyone else, his partner and eventual love interest included. Lisbon and her team has to put up with his shit time and time again, risking her career. And after he is done with revenging his wife and young daughter, he disappears from their lives, leaving them to pick up shambles. Lisbon in particular, as it is no secret to anyone, him included, that she’s in love with him, and her work life suffers, too, - from CBI special agent and team leader, she becomes a small town cop.

What’s worse, after he is sought out by FBI, he comes back and practically demands she’s picked up to work with him, without any consent from her. One of the differences start here, though. Lisbon calls him out on his shit. She tells him he was and is awful (not for first time, too) and she is not his belonging to discard and take back in when he pleases. Yes, she accepts the job, but it’s because she’s obviously bored out of her mind in the small town, despite her insisting otherwise. (Old feelings aside.)

Where I am going with this, you ask? What I am trying to say is that Jane and Bo could be twins in some ways. But in others, they’re exact opposites. Jane may seem like he finds everyone else inferior, but in truth he knows he is not a really good man, he deeply hates himself for being indirect cause of his family’s death, and not only he believes doesn’t deserve happiness, he also thinks he cannot make Lisbon happy.

So, when the time comes back, he actually takes a step back and lets her pursue another relationship. It comes at worst timing because he’s actually trying to make himself a better person worthy of her, and to confess to her.

He also never actually thinks Lisbon is dumb. He recognizes her wit and intelligence on multiple occasions, admires her. That it’s no match for his nearly psychic abilities to read people is hardly no surprise - barely anyone is.

And when in desperation he falls back to his old manipulative ways, setting up perfect, fake case for her to solve as romantic getaway as last attempt to win her back, it blows up in his face. Big time. She sees right through it soon enough, calls him out on his bullshit and leaves, furious.

Yes, he steals a car, gets on a plane about to take off and confesses he loves her, tells her she was absolutely right in everything bad she told him and she doesn’t have to respond to his feelings, that she just deserves this moment of his vulnerability. Yes, she breaks off her hastily made engagement and gets together with Jane. Yes, it’s not unproblematic. And it’s not treated as such, essentially everyone is eyerolling about this and Lisbon’s ex-fiancee is obviously hurt and both Lisbon and Jane feel bad. Yes, they go through their ups and downs, Jane does his hermit-crab retreat and Lisbon reacts accordingly. But. THEY WORK THROUGH IT. They communicate.

My point is (yes we finally got to that):

Bo could have been genius asshole trope, but he jumped over the line and straight into absolute asshole territory. (This is based on my experience in 12 episodes and knowledge of the trashy novel it’s based on.)

He doesn’t actually respect Jenny as a person, doesn’t actually take her feelings in consideration. He draws on every stereotype of the handsome, traumatized, lonely genius who needs a woman to save him emotionally. And that feels like the only reason she falls for him. He’s a douche who patronizes her, disrespects her boundaries and never apologizes for it. Instead, she grows to love him for that, ‘because that’s just how he is’.

His confession is framed around how he is perfect for her and he proclaims she’s his girlfriend before she’s agreed, though she does meekly protest that. (I mean, overall the confession isn’t the worst I’ve seen, but still doesn’t sit entirely right with me.) Sometimes, Bo feels like worst demisexual rep ever, because no woman has stuck around in his close proximity before and he does grow to care for her, so, in some convoluted sense, he just realizes he’s a man and now he must have her. It is a lot more apparent in the novel, about the growth of their ‘feelings’. (And the author pulls a Virgin but Sex God ‘cause he read books card which, I feel, plays in author’s fantasy of how amazingly talented he is.)

What also bothers me is the lack of time they have? They become a couple with a month, three at tops. Previous couples, be it manga of the Mentalist, have years together. Latter literally has 6 to 8 years of working together, maybe total of 10 of knowing each other. Yes, they fall in love earlier. But not within a month. They grow to respect each other, and support each other. To know each other. We could argue that with how bitchy Bo’s been, Jenny already knows all his flaws and with his superior intelligence, of course, he knows her entirely, but at the same time, is it worth jack if that’s how he uses his knowledge?

TL;DR: Bo took every good card and overplayed it. He may be redeemed in rest of the crama, I will have to watch and see, but that’s my feeling about it right now.

It’s not a bad drama, it’s not the worst out there, it has lot of drawing points and Bo’s actor really does an amazing job. Perhaps all this is just me trying to find reason why I was so hyped for this couple/drama and then I started to not care for it, kinda dislike it. And if you like it, I don’t judge you, it has its appeal. And it stands out from cdramas for sure!

Rainy out.

#love me if you dare #the mentalist #jisbon #kdrama #cdrama #rainy watches kdrama

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