#stray kids smut
pairing – minho x reader
word count – 7.3 k (this was supposed to be a drabble but i got too carried away).
warnings – smut 18+, religious and conservative reader, softdom!minho, virgin!reader, manipulation if you squint, corruption kink, dirty talk, guided masturbation? , petnames, praising, unprotected sex, body cumshot
note – please remember that, if you enjoy my work, you can tip me at ko-fi! tips are not obligated but, if you want to and are able to, i highly encourage you to leave one. even a dollar helps, really!!
also, english is not my first language so i aplogize for any mistakes in advance. i haven't read this, so i also apologize for any grammar mistakes made.
"according to your file," the dark-haired man in front of you mumbled. not just any dark-haired man, it was the substitute for miss eunji, therefore your new tutor and also the substitue professor for one of your university subjects, "you have attended schools only for women during your whole life, is that right?"
"why is that relevant?" you questioned shyly, your gaze fixed on the hems of your skirt while you were fighting the urges to make eye-contact with him.
"it isn't," he replied, his eyes leaving the sheet of paper in front of him picking up in the fact that you couldn't even face him, "i just thought it was interesting".
"it is better that way," you added, "attending to only-women schools".
"how is that better?" he queried, tilting his head slightly and smiling at your shyness.
"less temptations" you answered, still without being able to lift your gaze up, "that's what my mom says".
"is that what you think?" he questioned again, emphasizing the you.
"yeah, i think so" you replied, fidgeting with your fingers, "temptations take you away from the right path, so i try to stay away from them as much as possible".
minho rested his whole body on his leather office chair, feeling both amused and conflicted by your mindset.
the story of how he ended being a professor at a university conformed by only women students was long but, to make it shorter, he needed a good curriculum before earning his master's degree in international studies. since he already had his bachelor's degree, he decided to apply for a part time job as a substitute professor at ewha university for women. however, he didn't count on having to do these types of work. he wanted to teach, not being some sort of tutor/counselor.
"we are young" minho mumbled, not knowing how to carry the conversation. originally, the first meeting with you as your tutor was meant to talk about any difficulties you had related to college, professor or an specific subject. however, as soon as he read your file and curriculum, he couldn't help but ask questions related to your life, something that was not completely right, "we should be experiencing life, going out with friends, stuff like that".
"i have fun" you muttered, licking your lips while your eyes threatened to look up to him, "it's just... not the convencional way of having fun, i guess".
"do you have any hobbies?" he queried.
"i am part of a group in my local church" you replied, smiling softly while recalling the fun activities you did with them during the weekend, "i am also part of a book club and a debate club, i would consider those my hobbies".
"i see..." minho mumbled, his eyes analyzing every single fragment of the file the last teacher crafted specifically for you, "you have very remarkable grades. almost perfect, i must say".
"thank you sir", you replied, your cheeks turning red as you lifted your gaze to meet his.
much to your surprise, he was already looking at you, "you can just call me minho".
"i don't think that's appropriate, sir".
"i am only 3 years older than you" he shooted with a soft smile, almost too welcoming.
"but you are my professor," you rushed to say, blinking in several occasions due to the nervousness, "i must treat you with respect".
"i would prefer if you call me by my name" he said softly, giving you a reassuring smile, "just think of me as a friend".
you nodded slightly and gave him a confused look.
attending schools were only women students were allowed really affected your social and conversational skills with men. you hardly ever spoke to one, other than those who conformed your family, so being in front of a tempting, yet soft-spoken man was something that mad you feel uneasy.
the way he looked at you, to be more precise, made you feel uneasy. whether it was during class or right there during your private meeting, you couldn't help but feel a strange sensation on your lower abdomen every time he laid his eyes on you. you couldn't describe it or explain it, but it felt unfamiliar.
"as far as i am concerned, these meetings are meant to help you out with any troubles you could be having related to school, assignments, subject or professors" he listed, gathering the sheets of paper that were scattered all over his desk, "is there something i can help you with?"
you looked at him for a few seconds in silence, your heart pounding fast while your breathing acquired a sketchy pace, "i don't have any issues with school at the moment" you mumbled, your cheeks glowing red as you considered the idea of trusting him, "however i do want to talk about something".
a look of surprise was imprinted on his face as soon as he heard you saying those words, genuine concern and interest grew inside him by the minute.
"go on," he mumbled, his body tensing up slightly while he separated from his leather chair, "like i said, you can think of me as a friend".
you gave him a quick smile before going back to your anxious countenance, your sweaty hands fidgeting against each other while your right leg did repetitive movements against the floor. up and down.
"do you... have any hobbies?" you queried, your question taking him a bit by surprise.
"yeah, i do" he replied, almost confused by how embarrassed you looked while asking that question, "i like going out with my friends during the weekends, reading, drinking, watching videos on my cellphone, researching..."
"do you go to parties often?" you interrupted, your eyes shining while the conversation started to flow a bit more casual than before.
"i do, yeah" he scoffed, knowing that –based on the previous conversation you both had– you were probably not allowed to attend to them, "they are very fun, specially when close friends are there".
"do you drink?"
"do you smoke?"
"not my thing" he mumbled, laying back on his seat again, "how are these questions related to the tutoring session?"
"they aren't" you rushed to explain, "you just make me kind of curious".
"you don't have much male friends, do you?" he inquired, losing all the professionalism he was supposed to have, being now a young professor. still, you didn't seem to mind it.
"not really," you shook your head, parting your gaze from him, "like i said before, they are a temptation and they must be avoided".
he nodded slightly and agreed, even though he didn't really shared the same mindset as you.
still, he thought it was kind of sad.
you were strikingly attractive and you could have any person you wanted with the snap of a finger. however, you were not quite interested in that.
and that was a tragedy because, ever since the first time he saw you inside that classroom, sitting on your desk with both of your legs crossed, he knew that you could've had him at your mercy if you would've wanted to.
"i see" minho mumbled, his eyes lost in the endearing way you looked at him, "women are a temptation as well, you know?"
"it's different" you rushed to say, the sensation on your lower abdomen intensifying each time you locked your eyes with his, "men only want one thing, that's why they are a temptation for us".
"and women don't want that too?" minho replied, trying his hardest to divert the conversation to any other friendly topic that didn't involve talking about sex with one of his students.
"i don't" you shyly admitted, lowering your gaze again and fixing it on the pattern of your skirt again, "or at least i think so".
the last part came out more as a whisper than actual words, but the dark-haired substitute still managed to pick on them.
"it is completely natural" he explained, again, fighting the urges to make such an awkward conversation any longer than it needed to be, "it's not a matter of religion it's just... human needs".
"it's a sin."
"if you are looking through the lense of religion, then it is." minho replied.
as twisted as it sounded, he couldn't deny te tension he felt towards you at that exact moment. of course, he never thought of you that way before.
he had promised to himself that he was going to be as professional as he could in order to perform well at his new job but, right now, having you in his office in front of him with such innocence and curiosity imprinted on your face, he couldn't help but think about all sorts of filthy things he would like to teach you.
"how else can i look at it?" you genuinely questioned, licking your lips nervously, "my whole life i have been told that it is wrong, that's what they have taught me".
"why is that?" minho counter-attacked, "you must have a good answer other than because it goes against god's word".
however, he was wrong.
your whole life you were taught to think of sex like something repulsive, something dirty. something that shouldn't be discussed nor performed. something that was reserved for only old adults that loved each other and were united in marriage by the power of god.
but you didn't know why it was that wrong.
"i don't know" you whispered again, your cheeks turning bright red by the second.
minho licked his lips and spreaded his legs, feeling the familiar –yet inconvenient– pressure on his bulge.
"having sex or feeling attracted to the idea of having sex it is not a sin" he mumbled, "it is something natural, something that your body needs".
"how do you know when your body needs it?" you questioned and, for the first time in the whole meeting, you could listen him swallowing hard.
"i don't think we should-"
"please" you pleaded, lifting your gaze up and focusing on him, "i want to know more about it".
minho gave you a hesitant look before diverting his gaze to the clock hanging from the wall in his office.
"y/ln i don't think it's an appropriate topic to be discussed during these tutoring sessions" he spitted, mentally slapping himself for even thinking about joining that little game you were innocently trying to play.
"you said i could think of you as a friend" you muttered with some despair in your voice, "and friends help each other out when they have doubts, isn't that right?"
minho closed his eyes slowly for a second, reconsidering all the unprofessional stuff he said during the meeting that leaded him to end up in this situation.
"when you look at me," you continued, your eyes fixing on his while you tilted your head, "i feel weird, like a chill traveling along my body. my whole skin feels a lot hotter, and i feel some sort of pressure in my lower abdomen".
when he heard you mouthing out those words, he knew that he could no longer hold back or resist you. even if it was wrong, due to the academic relationship you two had, he was determined to move forward.
"what else do you feel?" he queried, his body tensing up again while he leaned on into his desk.
"i feel something" you shyly admitted, your gaze falling all the way to your shoes again.
minho swallowed hard, his bulge inside of his pants growing harder everytime you spoke. "and that something, does it feel good?"
"it does" you replied, "never in my life i've felt that before, or maybe i have but not as much as i feel it when you look at me".
minho stood up from his chair and walked all the way to the chair next to yours, sitting down with his legs spreaded open while he leaned forward to try and cover his bulge.
"so, minho" you whispered, the lingering eerie feeling of calling a figure of authority by his name, "have you ever had it before?"
"sex?" minho replied, his deep and intense gaze admiring every single inch of your body now that he was closer to your figure, "yes, i have".
"i am curious," you continued, "to know how it all feels like".
"look" minho mumbled, his guilty gaze looking at the door of his office –that felt maybe too formal for a 23 year old– and then at you, "i don't mind moving forward, but we should be doing this here".
you were too nervous to even second guess your decision, and only noticed that you were still inside of the university campus until he pointed it out. your body turned around to face the clock on the wall, 19:40.
"i have to be home by eight" you mumbled, trying to tell him that you didn't have much time. the trajectory from college to your house was at least 25 minutes long and, after being in a complete oblivion the whole meeting, an inevitable sentiment of fear started growing inside you. "god, my mom is going to kill me".
"you are staying at my place tonight." he mumbled, seeing your accelerated movements while you frantically stood up from your seat, "tomorrow it's another day and we can think about a solution".
"no, you don't understand" you rushed to say, picking up your backpack from the floor and rushing to the door of the office, "you don't know her, she is probably mad right now, she is going to p-"
"y/n" minho's deep voice interrupted you, almost serenenting you. the man stood up from his seat and approached your figure by the door, one of his hands softly touching your waist and automatically making you squirm under his touch.
he smiled, cute.
"can you please answer something for me?" he questioned, your whole body tensing while you felt the warmth of his palm against your body. even if you were fully clothed, you could swore you felt your skin burning, ablazing.
"y-yes?" you muttered, your glossy eyes raising up to meet his.
"do you trust me?"
you blinked once, twice and even three times, trying to containing the tears. only then, the realization hitting you like a velocity train.
this was wrong, in so many levels. not only it was against your beliefs, but it could get you in trouble at college too. a professor working at an only-women univeristy, hanging out with one of his students? it could get him fired and you in a lot of trouble, even expelled.
sure, he was almost the same age as you and, if you had met him in a completely different context, then things would've been slightly different. but this whole situation represented a lot of danger, not only for you but for him as well.
"we can get in trouble" you whispered, your hand resting on the door handle, "it is not a matter if i believe if this is right or wrong, but you shouldn't be doing this either".
"i shouldn't be doing a lot of things and i still do them because i want to" he replied, his body leaning in closer to you.
his warmth, his smell, the way his breath caressed your cheek. it was all new and extremely exciting for you, making ravages inside of your mind. the sudden urge of submitting to his presence was too strong for you to handle it and, even when you had absolutely no knowledge of these situations, you wanted to learn from him.
you wanted him to teach you everything there was to know about it.
his head slightly tilted to face the clock to his right, the corners or his lips twisting in a smile. 19:45. "seems like you are not going to be home in time" he softly teased, his heart skipping a beat or too as he admired the fear and arousal in your eyes, "why don't you let me take care of you tonight?"
"we will figure out tomorrow an excuse" he whispered in your ear, his hand traveling from your waist to your lower back, pulling you closer, "but tonight, i will take care of you, alright?"
you nodded slightly, giving in at the number one temptation you were warned about your whole life: men.
but how can you resist minho? everything about him was inviting to you, from the way he talked to the way his eyes scanned every single part of your body. the irrational part of you always dreamed about giving in to sin, and it was all his fault.
countless nights you found yourself thinking about him, feeling that same pressure on your lower back that was only relieved each time your hips moved in circular motions against the mattress. and, even then, the feeling didn't go away until you finally fell asleep.
some days, you would woke up in the middle of your sleep feeling a warm sensation in between your legs after a disastrous dream with him. you would pray over and over again for forgiveness for even thinking about those things even in your dreams.
but to answer his initial question, and for a completely unknown reason to you: yes, you trusted him.
"take me with you, please".
you awaited for him a few blocks away from college, agreeing in taking different paths to avoid be seen or recorded by the security cameras at the entrance of the campus. as you walked away, both of your hands holding on for dear life to your backpack, you felt the sudden urge to run.
run away from your temptations and from your sins.
but at the same time, your body didn't cooperated with your mind. your body was eager to be educated, to explore, to learn. your body needed his touch, your body needed to experience those feelings people talked about in movies or t.v. shows that you usted to watch behind your mother's back.
and you knew that, judged by the warm feeling between your legs.
you waited for him at the nearest bus stop, sitting down at the bench while you covered part of your thighs with your backpack, holding it against your body with trembling hands.
minho's black sports car didn't took long to appear into your vision, slowing down as he approached the bench you were sitting on. as the true gentleman he was, he got out of the car to open the door for you.
the rest of the trip was spent in silence, the only audible things were the soft song playing on on the radio, your heart beats and you accelerated breathing. minho turned to face you every once in a while, offering you a soft and reassuring smile each time.
your gaze fixed on the way his hands maneuvered the steering wheel, the veins popping on his arms making your body squirm in your seat. you were too into him to even think things through, you simply couldn't.
he was intoxicating and you were not strong enough to fight someone like him.
"what are you thinking about?" he queried without parting his gaze from the road.
"you are very attractive" you whispered, not bothering to look away once he caught you lost in his image.
he gave you a side smile that slowly turned into a smirk. he knew that, but he liked hearing it from you.
he always found pleasure in corruption. watching people become their worst yet best versions of themselves. it was just too thrilling, to ruin a pretty body and a pretty mind. and it was even more thrilling when that pretty body and mind also came with a pretty face and endearing personality, like you had.
"and you are beautiful" he replied.
simple, blunt and, most importantly, completely honest.
he knew it since the very first time he saw you sitting inside that classroom, how you were going to wreak havoc inside him. even so, he managed to stay and act professionally throughout the whole semester, only falling into the sweet temptation once you admitted that you felt exactly the same about him.
that's why you were so special. because he had been craving you since he met you, but you were merely just a fantasy to him. something he wanted to have, but that he mentally convinced himself that he wouldn't.
until that night, of course.
the sudden stop of the vehicle interrupted your trail of thoughts, your eyes analyzing every single part of the environment you were in. it was a parking lot, from an apartment complex.
he opened the door for you, allowing you to get out of the car while you fixed your skirt. "you live alone?" you asked him.
"i have been living alone for a while now, yeah" he replied, pushing the buttons outside of the elevator as you two waited patiently, "besides working as a substitute teacher on ewha, i also work in research projects. they pay off really well".
"i can tell" you whispered to yourself. judged by only the parking lot and the cars there, you automatically picked up the fact that you were probably in a very luxurious neighborhood.
money, another temptation.
as the elevator doors opened and you got inside, the whole mood surrounding the both of you shifted. like magic. going from being painfully awkward to an interesting tension, you caught minho staring at you every once in a while.
"how was your first kiss?" he bluntly asked, out of the blue. you choked on your own saliva, coughing slightly while your eyes opened like plates.
"oh, i-" you mumbled, licking your lips "it was- mess".
minho cocked one of his eyebroys in surpise, his gaze fixed on the silver doors that were now starting to open slowly in front of the both of you, "why was that?"
he stepped outside of the elevator and you followed him, walking along a hallway that seemed straight out of a very expensive hotel. "it was a dare" you replied, your eyes sticked to carpet beneath your shoes, "in highschool. one of my girl friends introduced me her neighbors and we were just fooling around. i felt awful afterwards".
minho opened the door to his apartment and, much to your surprise, it was more minimalistic than you thought it would be. everything was white, except for the furniture that was either beige, black or the same color as the rest of the place.
"it felt awful because you felt guilty or it felt awful because it was a bad kiss?" he queried, placing the keys on a small coffee table next to the door and closing it right behing him.
"we were like 16" you shyly replied, "i don't think he even knew how to kiss someone properly".
minho turned around with a soft smirk, gently cornering your body between his and his door. your whole body started shaking in anticipation, the warmth between your legs returning as soon as minho's face was mere centimeters away from your face, "do you want to know how it really feels to be kissed?" he questioned with a deeper voice. his gaze was now completely dark, his breathing was a bit faster than usual and his glistening lips were almost driving you to the edge.
but you were already committed to it.
"please," you whispered, tilting your head slightly, "please teach me".
and without losing any more time, his lips crashed into yours. slowly, very slowly. your heart pounding faster than before, just in the middle of it you wondered what the hell you were going to do. you didn't know how to kiss and, based on the previous chat you two had, he seemed to have a lot of experience.
still, you were a fast learner. picking up on what he did, you decided to do the same. gently brushing your lips against his, his tongue swiftly touching yours with slow motions, his teeth gripping your lower lip and earning a sweet, unknown sound out of you.
"it feels good, doesn't it?" he asked you still with your lips brushing against each other and both of your eyes closed.
his hands traveled from your hips to your arse, caressing it softly while he lifted the fabric of your skirt up. god. you sighed at the action, feeling timid at the thought of someone else seeing your naked body.
"you have such a pretty body, you know that?" he mumbled, his touch sending shivers down your spine, "very, very, very pretty body".
his hands found the hems of your underwear, slightly pulling it down and off of your legs. you flinched at the action and he noticed it, locking his gaze in an intense eye contact with you while your panties made their way down to the floor. "it's okay, angel" he whispered, his eyes imprinting the image of your lustful gaze into his mind, "i will take care of you, i promised it".
you nodded slightly, wanting to hide your face in the crook of his neck due to embarrassment. you knew that your underwear was a mess, you could feel the wetness in your core as soon he stripped your panties off of you.
"we have to make an agreement" he mumbled with both a lustful but more serious tone than before, pulling your skirt down again after he finished removing your underwear, "if i do something that you don't like, you have to say a word and i will stop".
"which word?" you muttered, slightly squeezing your thighs together almost instinctively.
his eyes scanned the whole living room of his own apartment, thinking long and hard about a distinctive safe word only to end up with a very common one, "red".
"red" you repeated to yourself, making sure to not forget it.
"if you want me to stop, just say the word," he explained his hand traveling from your arse onto your lower back, pulling your vulnerable body against him one more time, "if i do something you don't like, or you don't feel comfortable with, say the word and i will stop".
you nodded in agreement, feeling how his hand pushed you slightly away from the door. he started walking towards a black door located next to the living room and you followed him right after, wondering what was next for you.
but just as you were about to enter his room, your phone rang inside of your backpack.
"don't pick up" he ordered you, shooting a glance at you once he saw you stopping in silence, "you are with me now".
the way he said those words was both frightening and comforting. you found him intimidating but, at the same time, he made you feel protected. even if things were chaotic outside of his small apartment, he managed to brainwash your pretty brain just fine. as long as you were with him, the real world was alright.
"get inside" he commanded, opening the door for you and revealing a not-so-different but pretty neat bedroom. the thing that captured your attention the most was the wall in front of him that was fully covered in mirrors.
he closed the door right behind him, a devilish grin appearing on his face as soon as he saw your curious eyes glancing at the mirror, "don't you look pretty?"
his body approached you from behind, your eyes lost in the reflection of both figures, "it's such a timely event to have these around" he whispered into your ear, talking about the wall of mirrors right in front of his bed, "that way, you will be able to see everything".
suddenly, you felt pressure against your arse. his hands were resting on your hips, tracing the sides of your body every now and then while your gaze got lost in the mirror, not being able to look away for any reason.
"have you ever touched yourself?" minho asked, knowing exactly the answer he wanted to hear.
and if god existed, he probably heard his thoughts.
"no" you shook your head, your body instinctively brushing against his bulge, "i don't know how to".
"why don't i teach you?" he questioned so casually, his ablazing touch burning every single area on your body he touched. you nodded slightly, feeling how he pulled you against him as he walked slightly backwards to meet the edge of the bed, sitting on it while having your back against his chest and your naked core on his lap. "i want you to watch yourself through the mirror" he commanded, lifting your skirt up and exposing completely your core. you couldn't help but look away, not being brave enough to face such image, "can you do that for me, angel? can you be a good girl and follow my rules?"
you looked at him for a few silent seconds before being determined to fulfill your task. your face turning slowly to look at the mirror one more time while his hands took charge into teasing your body, dragging themselves along your thighs and leaving a burning sensation on them.
"look at you," he whispered softly, one of his digits slowly tracing your wetted slit while your whole body squirmed in its place, "does this always happens?"
"it happens when i dream of you" you admitted, feeling your juices coating his digits.
"you dream of me, hm?" he hummed, slightly touching your core as a way of getting you used to his touch. he couldn't help but smile at every sigh that escaped your lips and every sudden movement your body made against his, "how often do you dream of me?"
"constantly" you whimpered, your eyes fixed on the way his slimmed fingers trace your entrance. before continuing with his task, he grabbed one of your hands and guided you all the way to your core, your inexperienced self not knowing exactly what to do.
"with your middle and index finger," he softly instructed, his prominent bulge grazing against your lower back and arse, "you are going to caress yourself here". he placed your digits over your budle of nerves, moving it ever so slightly in circular motions while you let out a deep sigh, "keep doing that for me, will you?"
you nodded in agreement, feeling your cheeks glow red. if this was a sin, why did it felt this good?
you slowly continued with your movements, only stopping once you felt one of minho's fingers stretching your cunt. the sudden pain and awkward feeling made you let out a faint cry, your gaze lost in the way his finger dissappeared inside your hole.
"it may hurt a bit, angel" he numbled with his lips against your shoulders and his gaze lost in the way you unconsciously spreaded your legs even more for him, "but i promise you that it will feel good later".
you bit your lower lip as he started to acquire a soft pace, his digit going in and outside of you at a ver slow rythm, "keep touching yourself for me, please" he pleaded once he saw you stopped, following his orders right away.
and only then, you understood what he meant. the mixture between his fingers and yours was heavenly, too good to be true. and, as he increased his pace, you did the same. your hips bucking up slightly at the feeling, wanting more and more each time an unfamiliar pressure built up in your lower abdomen. soon, one finger was not enough and he took it into account, inserting a second one after he realized how well you were taking him.
"that's it" he praised, looking at how you closed your eyes shut while a series of cries and whimpers left your lips, "you are such a good girl, you are doing so good for me".
you moaned at his words, the sound of his voice only contributing more to your own arousal. the movement of his fingers increased dramatically, forcing you to increase your pace as well while the sweet taste of an unknown sensation started to wash up on your body.
"minho" you moaned with a desperate tone, your legs slightly closing at the overwhelming feeling, "god, i-"
"just let go," he ordered, his available hand forcing your legs opened while the other continued with his work, "be a good girl and cum for me".
never in your life you had touched yourself, let alone having an orgasm. you couldn't quite understand what was happening inside you, but the feeling was too good to be pushed away. still, your hand that was previously rubbing your bundle of nerves, soon found itself trying to push minho's hand away from your core, both of your legs threatening to close shut, "this feels so-".
"come on, angel" minho groaned between his teeth, managing to keep on rubbing your clit with his thumb all while you tried to push his hand away as an instinctive movement, "cum all over my fingers, show me how good i made you feel".
and without being able to hold the sweet explosion inside you, you finally let go. toes curling up, eyes rolling to the back of your head and your body slightly covered in sweat trembling under his arms... it was such a heavenly sight for minho. the way his name slipped off of your lips while you cummed, the sound of your whimpers and moans and the way you held yourself tight against his body as if you were going to crumble down at that exact moment was all he needed to cum right there with you.
but he needed to wait a little longer. he needed to mark you forever, ruin both your pretty body and pretty mind.
"good girl" he praised, admiring how your weak body came from your first high, "you did so well, taking everything i gave you".
"it felt so good" you whispered, your teary eyes and rosy cheeks making minho's bulge twitch inside of his pants, "i never thought- i didn't know it would feel like this".
"it felt good, yeah?" he questioned, his eyes looking at the sight of your hardened nipples beneath your shirt.
"it felt more than good" you replied with hitching breath, your throbbing cunt exposed completely to the reflection in the mirror, "i just-".
"i can keep on making you feel good, angel" he mumbled against your ear, your whole body covering on goosebumps, "may i?"
with no inhibitions or shyness, you nodded almost too eagerly. you stood up from his lap, fixing your skirt and your blouse. he stood up immediately after you, revealing something that you were not prepared to see.
he was big. maybe too big.
he smiled while he saw your gaze fixed on his growing bulge, "you caused this, angel".
you raised your eyes to meet his, his penetrative glance telling you more than his words could ever say. his body approached yours, his desperate hands removing the rest of your articles of clothing until the very last one, leaving you completely naked in front of him and the mirror.
and, even when he was the first person to ever see you like this, you felt far from shy.
the way he looked at you with such lustful eyes made you feel proud, for an unknown reason. his hungry eyes traveling along your body only confirmed the statement he spitted earlier that day: women were also a temptation.
but that didn't matter now, when you were completely naked and at his mercy, ready to take anything and everything he was about to give you.
"do you have any idea how many times i thought of you like this?" he asked you, pulling your naked body against his while his bulge made pressure on your lower abdomen and your hardened nipples grazed against the rough fabric of his shirt, "do you have any idea how many times i came with the thought of your pretty body underneath me begging for me to fuck it and use it?"
the words he used made your thigh squeeze together, such filthy sentences coming from such pretty lips only reminded you of how tempting lee minho was.
"you have no idea, angel".
"why don't you-" you mumbled, "why don't you show me?"
he gave you a soft smile, withdrawing your body from him while he undressed for you. his soft skin looked extremely appealing, a caramel shade. on his abs there was a small scar, maybe too small to be perceived with a quick glance but, if anything, it only made his body ten times more attractive.
removing his pants and underwear, there was the thing you had been anticipating the most. and as soon as you saw him in its entirety, the walls inside your cunt clenched around absolutely nothing.
"get on the bed angel" he ordered, "can you do that?"
you followed his command with no hesitation, laying down on the bed while you opened your legs for him, holding both of your thighs with your hands. he smiled at the realization that he didn't even had to ask you for you to spread your legs. your body instinctively did it.
"are you sure you want this?" minho asked with a raspy voice, his eyes fixed on your dripping cunt. you didn't took long to reply with a subtle nod, your heart racing at ten miles per hour once you saw his firm body leaning against yours. "it might hurt a little bit, but i know you can take it, angel".
and, with that being said, a painful pressure against your tight entrance was quick to appear, followed by a loud groaned from minho himself.
"oh-" you whimpered, closing your legs around him while he slowly thrusted himself deep inside you, "it hurts-".
"shhhhhhh" he whispered, his whole body resting on his forearms while he enjoyed the delicious feeling of your tight, weak walls clenching around his cock, "you can take it all the way in".
you closed your eyes and arched your back against the mattress, the strange feeling of his length inside you making you cry a tear or two because of the pain.
"you are doing so. so. well" he panted, both of your bodies meeting again once his cock was buried deep inside your tight hole, "my angel".
you opened your eyes slightly, finding minho's eyes already fixed on yours. he was too attractive, too seductive. the way he breathed, the grimaces of pleasure he made and the way small groans escaped from his lips each time you clenched around him were enough stimuli for you to start feeling more pleasure than pain, your hips moved in circles against minho as a way to tell him that you were completely ready to take him.
"my pretty angel," he grunted, looking at how your body reacted to him, "so desperate to have me already?"
"i am sorry" you apologized shyly, feeling both aroused and pathetic.
"don't be" he mumbled, pulling himself out of you only to thrust his length in you again, earning another whimper from you, "it turns me on, seeing how desperate you are for me".
his hips started to acquire a pace and, honestly, you would be lying if it said it didn't hurt. but as soon as you felt his thumb rubbing your clit in circles, the now very familiar sensation started to build inside you again.
"look at how well you take my cock inside that pretty cunt of yours" minho praised, his eyes lost in the way your breast bounced every time he pounded his cock inside you, "you clench around me like you had been dreaming of this exact moment for months now, haven't you?"
your cheeks started to feel warmer after such an statement, knowing that it was true. no matter how hard you tried to push those thoughts away on your daily basis, they always came back at night, when you were asleep.
"m-more" you moaned, your hips rolling against his with soft movements in an attempt to intensify the sensations even more.
"you want me to go slower?" he teased, the movement of his hips decreasing dramatically while you whined.
"n-no, please" you begged, your glossy eyes looking directly at him, "faster"
"you want me to go faster?" he queried, "is my angel needy for my cock?"
you nodded without giving him a proper answer. still, your fucked out eyes and your trembling body said anything he needed to know at that point.
and, after teasing you for a while, he finally gave you what you wanted. matching the pace of his hips with the one on his digits, the familiar warmth inside you started to spread rapidly throught your whole body, the electricity traveling from your head to the tip of your toes.
"i feel it again" you cried, closing your legs around his hips, "god, it feels more intense".
"take me" he groaned, leaning into tour body slightly while still caressing your bundle of nerves, "take everything i am giving you and show me how much you are enjoying it".
and as a reflex, you arched your back. minho's soft lips went immediately after one of your hardened buds, sucking and licking on them while your hands traveled all the way to his dark hair.
"minho" you cried, all the overwhelming sensation becoming one, "don't stop, please, don't stop, don't -"
the dark-haired smirked against your breasts, realizing who he turned you into.
someone with no inhibitions, someone who would rather think with her impulses rather than her head. from being a religious, pure college student to a needy, hungry cockslut... he felt proud both of you and what he did.
it was beautiful to see you let go like this, specially when it was for him.
"minho, i am cumming" you cried, arching your back while his hips aggressively bucked into yours, the pace of his fingers against your clit making you shake uncontrollably under him.
"keep going" he groaned, still fucking your cunt, "keep cumming around my cock".
and as you predicted, that orgasm was ten times more intense than your first and previous one.
you clenched around him several times before falling into overstimulation, your vulnerable body crying everytime minho's cock reached the special spot that helped you approach your high the previous times.
he wasn't far from his orgasm as well, but he needed to imprint your image on his brain, in case this was the last time he was going to see you like this.
and only after a few seconds, his cock started to twitch inside of you, warning him that he was just as close to his release.
with a swift movement he pulled himself out of you, milking his cock until the very last drop. your naked abdomen and breasts suddenly became stained with his hot arousal, making the pure and innocent image slowly fade away until it was converted into your pretty body all fucked dumb and covered with his own cum.
such a pleasent sight for a filthy act.
"you should know that," minho panted, one of his hands slowly caressing your knee while you kept your legs spreaded for him, "you look beautiful as a sinner".
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Stray Kids | S/O is sore the morning after their first time (gender neutral)
reaction | hyung line
genre ➸ romance
disclaimer ➸ This is a work of fiction. I don't own any famous character(s) - like idols - and my writings are in no way meant to show these people’s real nature and/or offend them in any way.
Request: Skz Hyung line reaction when their s/o is sore the morning after their first time? (Suggestive smut) (gender neutral) 🙏🏻✨
When you wake up, you realize that something is wrong. Every movement hurt and your first urge was to get up, but you realize as you sit down that it didn't get any better. But because of your restless movements, Chan woke up. He slept on his stomach with his head turned to your side. When he opens his eyes, he smiles gently at you.
"Good Morning." His voice was clear, but still calm.
"Hey," you say, but you sounded a little pained with pain. It was immediately apparent to Chan that something was wrong and he immediately sat up.
"Is everything okay? Do you regret it?" You had your first time last night and Chan was afraid he'd forced you to do something you didn't want. He wanted you, but he didn't want to overstep your limits. Did he push you to do something you didn't want? You immediately recognized his concern and you shake your head.
"No, I have no regrets," you say softly and give him a gentle kiss.
"But is there something?" You can’t lie to him.
"Well ..." You start, but you were shy. You didn't want to burden him with your problems and in the worst case scenario he would feel bad too.
"Come on tell me. You don't have to be uncomfortable." Clearly, Chan couldn't be fooled.
"Well it feels sore here ... so down here." You point down at yourself and press your lips together.
"Oh ...", Chan said and his eyes suddenly widened. And for a moment it became quiet between you. It was a little uncomfortable, but then Chan got up and got dressed.
"Okay okay. You stay here and don't move. I'll go quickly and buy us breakfast." He packed panicked his things and looked for his wallet.
"It's really okay, don't stress yourself." You try to calm him down, but he wasn't dissuaded.
"No, I'll do everything for you today. I'm so sorry." Chan then kissed you and ran off.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch ..." You stumble back from the toilet and go back to bed. Minho was watching you with a big but evil grin.
"Don't laugh like that, it's all your fault." You lie down next to him with a sigh and still feel the burning in your lower area.
"But it was worth it, wasn't it?" He keeps grinning at you and you roll your eyes.
"Let's see how long I'll be sore." You sigh and snuggle up in the covers again.
"Sorry, I can't help it that he's so big." He winked and turned over to you. You roll your eyes, but you know that Minho wanted that confirmed.
"Hmm right, I should find someone with a smaller dick." Now it was you who grinned and Minho looked at you with raised eyebrows. But then he smiled too and kisses the tip of your nose.
"You will get used to him and then you will not want anything else," he whispered in your ear and you immediately get goosebumps. You look into his dark eyes and you miss the words.
"But before that I can still be very gentle with you." His head bowed and his lips touched your neck, then your collarbone. His hands wandered over your body and you can feel your breath getting louder and louder. And Minho was just gentle ... very gentle.
"That was nice," whispered Changbin and starts playing with your fingers. He kissed every single one of your fingertips and he smiled gently. You smile too but couldn't answer anything.Your naked bodies were lying against each other and you liked that afterglow, but the sex had left you with after-effects on your body too.
"Are you okay?" He asked and immediately noticed that something was wrong. You nod with pressed lips, but in reality you couldn't fool him.
"What's going on?" He asked further and his look was suddenly so full of worry. Changbin could seem so tough and hard at times, but he was so soft with you here.
"I'm just a little bit sore down there. It's not that bad." You smile and want to convince him that everything is fine. But Changbin immediately feels bad.
"What? Did I hurt you?" He leaned over you and examined your whole body.
"No, everything is really okay." You run his hair and look him in the eye. And the next moment he became calm too. His hustle and bustle disappeared and his pulse calmed down.
"Really?" His dark pupils found themselves in your eyes and he looked like a small dog to you at the moment.
"Yeah really. It's just so new to me. I have to get used to you." You wink and laughingly give him a kiss.
"I'll be more careful next time," he promised you and snuggled up to you again.
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where were you? - b.c (m)
Featuring: Bang Chan x f.reader
exes lover au
↳ They were high school sweethearts and Chan let his ego get the best of him. He her high and dry without a second thought.
“I didn’t deserve what you did to me.”
“I know you didn’t, but then again I actually never deserved you.”
word count: 20k
warnings: self doubt and body imagine issues. the reader was written as plus size trying to learn to love themself. contains cheating, explicit sexual content, cussing, mentions of a minor character battling cancer.
an: this is a reworking of one of my stories from spidey-babe-parker.
His entrance was met with deafening silence on your part. Your eyes bore into his, and if looks could kill Bang Chan was a walking dead man. Last time you saw him he broke your heart and blew you off so casually you would have swore you were just one of his groupies. He licked his lips as he always did and started strolling towards you. He raised his eyebrows in his signature fashion and you felt the bile crawl up your throat. You hated Bang Chan with every single part of your soul. Your eyes rolled so hard you feared they might get stuck in the back of your head.
He strode towards you and stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans and winked at you. Without a second thought you pulled the lid off your ice coffee and tossed it in his face. His cocky smirk dropped and he shook his head knowing he deserved it.
“Fuck off Chan,” you stormed passed him.
Before you could even get to the front door he grabbed your hand attempting to stop you.
“If you don’t let go of my hand I will kick you so hard in the ball you won’t be able to have kids,” you ripped your arm from his grip.
You stormed out of your family’s coffee shop and walked down the street freezing your ass off realizing you didn’t grab your coat before storming off into the cold.
The story of you and Chan was a complicated one. It started out as an innocent first love that led to excruciating heartbreak on your part, and a successful career in hip hop trio. You regret ever meeting the asshole. You often wished you could go back in time and tell your younger self to stay clear of bright eyed teenage boy who had big dreams of starting a music career.
You walked down the street towards your apartment praying that you would never have to see Chan again. It was already hard enough that whenever 3racha had any sort of promotion going on you would have to hear people once again talking about the cocky asshole.
Arriving at your apartment you unlocked the door and let out a heavy sigh. You pulled out your phone to see a text from your sister who worked at the coffee shop with you.
Is there a reason Bang Chan is sitting in the coffee shop covered in coffee?
You let out an audible groan that he didn’t get the hint to get out of your life.
Just kick him out and tell him to leave me alone.
Walking off towards the couch in your living room you threw yourself down on it and rubbed your temples already feeling the headache coming on from your blood pressure going through the roof after your encounter with Chan.
So I take it the coffee on him was your handy work.
For as long as you can remember you’ve had an anxious habit of running your fingers through your hair.
Yes it was and tell him to get the hell out of my life. Please.
You didn’t understand why all the sudden Chan had come back to town, let alone went out of his way to see you. He was well aware that you hated him. He got off easier this time by getting coffee poured on him. He needed to thank his lucky stars that it was ice coffee and not scalding hot coffee like you wished it was.
He’s gone but I don’t think he’s leaving town anytime soon.
You groaned at the fact that he couldn’t get it through his thick skull that your life goal was to never see him again. Your phone vibrated on the couch next to you and you picked it up to see a text from an unknown number.
We need to talk. I’m in town for a few weeks.
“How the fuck does he have my number,” you shouted into your empty apartment. Standing up you walked off to your bedroom to grab a coat you could wear to walk back to your coffee shop. You weren’t even half way through your shift and your parents would be pissed if they found out you stormed out of work in the middle of your shift.
Opening the door you tied up your coat that clang to her soft body as you walked back down the street in the cold air towards the coffee shop.
Stepping inside you were relieved to see they only had one customer, a regular Mary-Lou who had been coming to the café for years, and had known the story of what happened between you and Chan.
Jisoo was leaning against the counter scrolling through her phone. Her brown eyes popped up at the sight of you walking inside.
“I go on break and I come back to hear Jaemin telling me that Bang Chan is sitting at a table covered in coffee.”
You rolled your eyes wishing that somehow all this was some terrible nightmare. “What did he say?” Jisoo wanted to know what caused you to lose your cool on your ex-boyfriend.
“He didn’t say a single word, he just walked in and did that stupid fucking strut and gave me that damn smirk and I just lost it.” Your blood boiled just thinking about him smirking at you. You hated him so much and it pissed you off to no end that he ruined your day.
Your phone vibrated in your pocket and looked down at your phone to see a text from the last person you wanted to hear from.
You can’t ignore me forever.
Before you could even lock your phone, another text came in causing you to groan.
Part of you has to have missed me.
You knew you needed to save his name because he wasn’t going to quit texting you. His statement annoyed you, maybe it was because deep down you might have slightly missed him.
Can’t you leave me alone. You broke my heart enough, I don’t need this.
You shoved your phone in your pocket and walked around the counter and walked over to Jisoo.
“Please tell me you didn’t give him my number,” you prayed your little sister was more loyal than that.
“Fuck no I would never give him your number?” You said with a soft laugh.
Jisoo hated Chan almost as much as you. Your little sister was the one who was there for you when you cried constantly after Chan broke your heart. She also once threatened to break his nose and ruin his pretty face. Looking back on it you were really wishing Jisoo followed through on that threat.
It had been many years since Chan broke your heart, but the heartbreak was still fresh to you. It’s hard to get over someone when they are the pride and glory of the town you have lived in most of your life. Your town absolutely adored the success Chan had achieved with his music.
Your parents moved to the city and bought a coffee shop when you were in fourth grade. You didn’t have a lot of friends because you were an awkward chubby girl. You really only had your sister Jisoo who was a year younger than you. You met Chan in seventh grade and you became pretty close. Even at twelve girls seemed to fall at his feet. The summer between freshman and sophomore year was when things really started to change between you. Chan had been pushing himself even harder on the swim team and working hard to make music with Jisung and Changbin and you were watching your mother battle cancer. Chan would train all day swimming or making music and the second he was done he would go hang out with you, his best friend who had spent the day in the hospital with your mother. It all started out with you just watching movies at night or going on bike ride and it all changed one warm summer night when you confessed to him that you had never kissed anyone.
Chan couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that you were fifteen and had never had your first kiss. Being the gentleman he was, he offered to be your first kiss. He never expects you to take him up on the offer and he never expected to feel sparks with your kiss. The day following your first kiss he avoided you. Fearing that everything between you had changed. He was left completely confused. You were his best friend and weren’t his type by any means. He dated girls who were skinny and popular. Girls who were in peak shape like him. You weren’t tiny you had curves, and yet he couldn’t stop thinking about kissing you again.
After a whole day of thinking your best friend hated you because you were a terrible kisser, you looked out your bedroom window at midnight to find him awkwardly standing there.
After you had discussed your feelings Chan asked if he could take you out on a date. Chan had never been the type of guy who had a serious relationship but for some reason he wanted to give it a shot with his best friend.
Three days after his sixteenth birthday he competed in a huge swim competition and won first place. You were there by his side and couldn’t be prouder of him. You celebrated again when the following month you found out that your mother was officially cancer free.
Six month later Chan went off to compete in a huge swimming competition. The whole time he was gone you checked the internet every day to see how he was doing.
When he arrived home from the competition you knew something was off the second you laid eyes on him. He acted like nothing had happened for the first week he was back. Then one night when you started to make out and get handsy he confessed to you that he had cheated on you while he was away. This was the first time he broke your heart. You kicked him out and told him never to talk to you again. He managed to stay clear of you for two weeks before he was begging you for forgiveness. Like a fool you took him back. That was your first big mistake.
You managed to make things work for another two years before Chan got serious about making music. It was clear early on the trio had a talent for creating music and performing. You could tell something was off right from the beginning. You were going to college in the city and was in one of your classes when you heard a girl talking about her wild night with one of the boys from 3racha. You prayed on everything holy you wouldn’t hear Chan's name pass the girls lips, but unfortunately, you learned that your boyfriend had once again been unfaithful.
You rushed out of the class and ran to the bathroom where you broke down sobbing. When you confronted Chan about it you expected him to tell you the girl was lying, but instead you greeted him coming off cold. He didn’t deny it or even act like he was sorry. In the weeks leading up to that his ego had gotten quite large and had been acting quite strange. You didn’t understand what you ever did to have him cheat on you again. As tears ran down your face as you stormed out of Chan’s house. That was the second time Bang Chan broke your heart and you vowed it would be the last time. He had tossed you aside like you were some groupie and not his long-term girlfriend and best friend. You never wanted to see him again, you hated that you let him break your heart twice.
Your phone once again vibrated in your pocket and without even looking you knew who was texting you.
Just talk to me then.
You didn’t understand why he couldn’t just get the picture and leave you alone. You didn’t know what you did in life to deserve this. All you ever did was fall in love with a boy who was too selfish to love you back.
He responded thirty seconds later. It was clear he didn't plan on giving up. When Chan set his mind to do something he rarely gave up.
I could always just stay at the coffee shop for your whole shift.
Your heart just about stopped at the idea of him sitting in the coffee shop your whole shift with him just staring at her. Attempting to get you to talk to him.
You wouldn’t dare.
Part of you couldn’t help but wonder why all the sudden he was trying to talk to you again. You hadn’t been together in six years. You knew he had been with plenty of other people since you. Why couldn’t he harass them instead of you. Why the hell did he want to talk to you so badly? Especially after you poured your coffee all over him this morning.
You know damn well I would.
He left you speechless; you didn’t even know how to respond to him. Because you knew he would follow through with his threat.
I hate you.
Your sister cleared her throat and you looked up at her to see she had a concerned look on her face. She knew that seeing Chan really fucked with your head. She hated seeing you that upset.
“So, is Bang texting you?” She could tell by your annoyed face and furrow brow that you were annoyed by whoever you were texting.
“Yeah I want to know how the hell he got my number,” you leaned against the counter wondering who you were going to have to murder for giving Chan your number. “What the hell could he possibly want?” You raked her fingers through your hair.
“Lord only knows with him. Why is he even in town?” Your sister asked.
You shrugged your shoulders wishing at the moment you could leave town and just avoid him.
“He really wants to talk to me and honestly I don’t know if I can stomach spending alone time with him,” you sighed.
“What If you fucked him and left him in the dust?” Jisoo knew it was an insane plan but for some reason she thought you hated him enough you might do it just to get back at him.
At first, you wanted to tell Jisoo that was the stupidest thing you had ever heard in her life. Pushing your eyebrows together you actually considered it. Part of her wanted to hurt him like he had hurt you, but a tiny piece of you didn’t think you could bear to walk away from him again.
“I can’t do that,” you sighed, wishing deep down inside you could hurt him like he hurt you.
“I thought you said he was great in bed,” Jisoo cringed thinking about the time you started drunkenly tell her all about your sex life.
“It’s not the point I don’t think I can stomach even the thought of being naked with him again,” you shook your head.
Looking down at your phone you saw you had another text from Chan.
Should we have dinner at your favorite café?
You let out a loud sigh and rolled your eyes. Of course, he still remembered your favorite place to eat. It might have been seven years but it was obvious that the man still knew you very well.
“If I murder him what’s the chances I would get away with it?” You asked, shoving your phone in your pocket not bothering to respond to him.
Jisoo rolled her eyes at how dramatic you were being, “I think you would be considered the number one suspect. Especially after you dumped coffee on him today.”
Your phone started ringing in your pockets. Hesitantly you pulled your phone out of your pocket and saw Chan’s name on the screen. It wasn’t enough that he was harassing you through text now he was calling you. You clicked ignore. You couldn’t handle hearing his actual voice today. Texting was plenty for you. His voice was already ringing in your ears and he hadn’t actually said a single word to you, and yet he was all you could hear.
You sat your phone down on the back counter and walked away from it. You didn’t want to think about him anymore. You wanted to finish your shift without him bugging you.
The rest of your shift you kept your phone as far away from you as possible. You didn’t want to see any more text from him. You walked down the street in the cool fall air holding your coat close to you as you walked the short distance to your apartment. Walking inside you took off your coat and hung it up.
Without thinking you opened your phone to see if your best friend or your sister texted you. You groaned at the sight of another text from Chan. Why couldn’t he just get the picture? Wasn’t it clear that you wanted nothing to do with him?
I’m taking your silence as a yes.
Silently you stared at your mother as she told you about the party she was throwing for Mrs.Bang’s birthday. You knew there was no way you couldn’t talk your way out of attending this dinner. The worst part of it is you knew damn well this was going to be when you had to talk to Chan. Ever since you were a teenager when you were dating Chan, your family and the Bang’s grew extremely close. Your families had dinners together and threw parties together. Even after your nasty break up both your families remained close. Your mom and Mrs. Bang considered themselves best friends.
You picked at the bottom of your sweater half paying attention to what her mother was saying.
“(YN) can you please listen to me?” Your mother snapped her fingers.
“I heard you, we’re all going to the Bang’s house for dinner,” you sighed, not even able to act like you were excited or interested.
“I’m taking it by your reaction that you know Chan is in town,” your mother asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee as she raised her eyebrows at you.
Slowly you nodded knowing all too well Chan Bang was back in town, “yeah he stopped by the coffee shop yesterday.”
Your mother shook her head, “oh so you are the reason he stopped by covered in coffee.”
Of course, he stopped by to see your mother. He had always managed to stay in your mother’s good graces even after the breakup. Your mother fell for that infamous Bang Chan charm. Even after witnessing your heartbreak your mother told you that maybe one day you and Chan could work out your differences and get back together.
“Please tell me you didn’t give him my number,” you groaned already knowing the answer.
Your mother started making a latte and wouldn’t even look over at you, “Honey he came by and told me he really wanted to fix things between you guys.”
“Oh my god mother,” you shouted. “He broke my heart into a million pieces. I never wanted to see him again and yet you just gave him my phone number.”
Your mother shook her head, “you’re being overly dramatic. You were eighteen when that happened and you’re twenty-five now Honey. It’s time you forgave him, or at least hear him out and see what he has to say.”
Your mother was attempting to be the voice of reason. She knew you had spent the last seven years letting your heartbreak get the best of you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t dated other people. You had a few relationships over the years, but they were never anything super serious. Since Chan you seemed to be having a hard time opening your heart up to another person. He was your first love and he shattered your heart into a million pieces without even batting an eyelash.
“Please don’t pour anything on him at his mother’s birthday dinner,” she asked.
“I don’t know if I can promise that,” she sighed.
“(YN) you better behave.”
You were almost to the Bang’s house that was about ten minutes from your family home. You tugged on the bottom of your dress feeling oddly self-conscious of how the tight velvet dress you picked out clanged to your curvy body as you sat in the back seat of your mom and dad’s blue minivan. Glancing over at Jisoo, she's completely lost in her phone. Completely unaware of how anxious you seem.
“I don’t want to do this,” you whispered, hoping only your sister would hear.
“You can always just take off running the second the car stops,” she said lightly.
“Very funny,” you rolled your eyes. If anyone knew how much you hated Chan it was Jisoo, but that did stop her from making little harmless jokes.
You arrived at the Bang’s house and you felt sick to your stomach as you got out of the car slowly. You and your family walk up the stone pathway to the door. Jisoo rang the doorbell and soon Chan answered the door smiling.
“Good evening everyone,” he smiled, stepping aside.
“Chan it’s good to see you,” your father said, pulling him into a hug. Your father from the moment he met Chan thought he was absolutely amazing. After he found out Chan cheated on you, he wasn't the biggest fan of him, but as time passed he has clearly forgiven him.
“It’s good to see you too sir,” Chan patted him on the back.
Your family walked inside and you were left standing on the porch with Chan standing in the doorway smiling at you. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. You didn’t even know what exactly to say to him at the moment. You took her bottom lip between your teeth and just silently stared at him. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t seem to shake off the heartbroken feeling in your chest.
“Are you gonna pour coffee on me again?” he asked, leaning against the door frame breaking the silence that had formed between you. Softly you shook your head as you glared at him. “Do you want to come inside?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.
You shook her head again, because honestly, you didn’t want to go inside and you sure as hell didn’t want to be standing outside talking to him.
“Do you think that maybe tonight we could talk?”
You sighed and looked into his warm eyes, “Chan please leave me alone.”
He rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Just give me a break please.”
You groaned and rolled your eyes at his comment that he couldn’t seem to get it through his thick skull. “I did give you a break, by breaking up with you when you cheated on me for the second time.”
Your words felt like a knife to his chest. He was well aware he let his ego destroy the only thing that had ever mattered to him. He threw away the one girl who truly cared about him. He knew damn well that night he hooked up with that stupid college girl that somehow or another you would know. You could tell as soon as 3racha started getting bigger with their music that someone was up. You could tell by the look in Chan’s eyes that he had cheated on you. Nobody knew Bang Chan better than you. You could tell just by the way he looked at you he had a guilty conscience.
“That’s not fair,” he sighed.
“Yeah well it wasn’t fair when you cheated on me,” you didn’t bother saying anything else she walked past him into the house. You didn’t want your parents or his parents to question what was going on.
Silently he stood there and watched as you stormed past him inside. He hadn’t actually seen you in person in probably three years and yet he thought of you everyday. He thought often about if maybe you would give him a second, well technically a third chance. Every time he wondered if you would give him another chance, he remembered the look of pure heart break on your face when you realized he had cheated on you again. It was bad enough he had cheated on you once and you actually took him back. Hell would actually have to freeze over for you to even consider it now.
There were many nights in the busy city where Chan would go out with friends and drink too much and he would end up staring at a photo he had in his phone back when he was eighteen and you were together. It was a sweet photo of you kissing his cheek while he was laughing. It was right before he started talking about making music with the boys. Everything was perfect between you. Your mother was healthy and you had both just graduated high school. He was a local legend for all the swim records he had broken. He felt like a true king and you were his queen.
Chan, Changbin and Jisung started getting serious about making music and soon everyone knew who Bang Chan was. Labels started reaching out and his ego started to grow. Soon he was signed and was working on putting out music and promoting his group. Everything in life was going his way. He was well aware he was changing as a person but he honestly didn’t care. Looking back on the whole thing he should have never slept with that girl and he shouldn’t have gotten so wrapped up in himself that he pushed away the only girl he had ever loved.
Many of those drunk nights he wished he had your number so that he could call you and tell you that he missed you. He knew deep down inside that you wouldn’t want to talk to him and you sure as hell didn’t miss him.
He followed behind you and walked off towards the kitchen where he found you holding a glass of wine while talking to his mother. It still amazed him even after your rough break up that both your families still remained really close. It probably didn’t hurt that Chan moved away shortly after breaking your heart. He moved deep into the city with the boys to focus fully on music.
Walking over to the fridge he pulled out a beer and cracked it open and raised his eyebrows and smirked as he toasted his bottle against your wine glass. You just glared at him completely unamused by his attempts to interact with you.
“So Chan, how long are you home for?” Your father asked before taking a swig of his own beer.
With a shrug of his shoulder he said, “I don’t know sir I have some unfinished business I need to take care of.” His warm eyes locked onto your and you once again felt like she was going to throw up.
“Well while you're in town go ahead and swing by the coffee shop whenever and we’ll hook you up with a good discount,” your father jokes.
You didn’t understand how your family was so fine with him. They were well aware he broke your heart. You went through enough tissues crying that everything store around that sold tissues knew you were nursing a broken heart. Silently you drank your wine and watched as your parents fawned over Chan. You poured herself another large glass and contemplated just getting hammered. You thought the evening might be tolerable if you were wasted.
Mrs. Bang called dinner and everyone walked over to the table. You arrived last because she was pouring yourself another glass of wine. You were about to walk out of the room when you saw the only seat available was next to Chan. You looked over at your sister giving her a pleading look but Jisoo was too distracted talking to Chan’s younger sister Hannah. You looked over at Chan and found him smirking at you. You knew that he had planned all along for this to happen.
You sat down at the table next to Chan and glanced over at him to find him smirking at you. Closing your eyes you took a deep breath attempting to stay calm.
Everyone started eating dinner and making small talk. About half way through the meal Chan reaches over and rests his hand on your knee. It wasn’t an inappropriate touch or anything. Back when you were dating he used to do this all the time. You didn’t even bother giving him a second look, you silently smacked his hand. He smirked as he was listening intently to what your father was telling him. A couple minutes later he gently rested his hand on your knee again. Instead of his hand being smack away again you looked over and glared at him.
He winked at you and suddenly you couldn’t take it anymore.
“Excuse me,” you said, sitting her wine glass down on the table in front of you and politely moving his hand off your leg. “I’m gonna get some air,” you quickly walked out of the kitchen and headed for the front door.
Opening the door you stood in the cold night air taking deep breaths. You didn’t know if you could keep doing this. His touch didn’t make your skin crawl like you thought it would. For some reason his touch gave you butterflies, and you felt like you were being betrayed by your body. Leaning against the house you took a deep breath. The cool autumn breeze blew against your skin and you regretted not bringing your coat.
The front door opened and you looked over to see Chan walking outside holding one of his hoodies in his hands. He held his jacket out towards you knowing you were freezing.
“I don’t want it,” you sighed.
He closed his eyes as if he was holding back a snarky remark and laid the hoodie over the porch railing.
“I’m aware you hate me,” his tone was sad
You looked away from him and looked off towards the house across the street. You wanted to make a snarky remark. Like what gave that away, but for some reason you couldn’t bring yourself to say it out loud to him. Your arms wrapped around your stomach attempting to hide the fact that this dress you chose to wear was too tight.
Running his fingers through his curls he watched as you tugged on your dress. He knew you felt self conscious in your dress. He wanted to tell you he thought you looked beautiful, but he knew you wouldn’t take his compliment. He settled for saying, “You look really nice.” His words caught your attention. You turned and looked at him pushing your eyebrows together.
“Chan, what do you have to gain from all of this?”
He bit his bottom lip and just stared at you trying to figure out what was going on in your mind.
“We already slept together. I'm not some conquest you have to chase after,” you sighed. Whatever game this was, you’re drained and over it.
“You were never a conquest to me. I actually loved you,” he said it so casually and it made you cringe.
“I think it’s obvious you aren’t going to leave me alone anytime soon,” you paused, wishing you didn’t actually have to have this conversation. “What are you so desperate to talk to me about?”
“I came back to say I’m sorry.”
You were caught completely off guard by the fact that he had actually said he was sorry to you. Bang Chan was someone who rarely apologized. You hadn’t heard him say he was truly sorry since right after the first time he cheated. He never said he was sorry after the final time you broke up. He never acted like he regretted anything when he was around you.
“Bang Chan is sorry?” You couldn’t help but let out a laugh. You never thought you would hear those words come out of his mouth. “That’s fucking funny.”
He shrugged his shoulders attempting to come off casual, “I know things ended badly between us, but I would like to fix it.”
You didn’t understand why suddenly he wanted to fix things with you. It had been seven years you didn’t understand why now he suddenly felt the need to apologize to you for everything that had happened.
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, “Chan you hurt me so badly.”
He nodded his head and stepped off the porch to walk towards you. He wished he could pull you into a hug, but he knew you would kick him in the balls if he did that.
“Honey,” he sighed.
His sudden use of your high school nickname suddenly made you furious. He lost the right to call you that. “Don’t call me that,” you seethed.
He raised his hands up, surrendering knowing that he didn’t have a right to call you that.
“Just give me a chance please.”
“Why should I?” You wanted to know why he felt like he truly deserved for you to even listen to him.
“Because a lot of time has passed and I think about us often,” he was never a man to talk about his feelings and he sure as hell would never admit to a woman that he thought about her often, but you weren’t a normal woman. He was standing in front of you, the only girl he had ever loved and he felt like he needed to fix things between them.
Before you could respond your dad opened the front door and peeked his head outside, “we’re getting ready to sing happy birthday.”
“Alright sir,” Chan smiled.
The front door shut and you went to walk inside. Before you could reach for the door Chan reached for your hand. “Please have dinner with me.”
You looked down at your hand that Chan was holding and then looked up at him to see a soft smile across his face. “I’ll think about it,” you pulled your arm away from him and stared at him for a long moment.
He pushed his fingers through his curls, “Okay please think about it.”
Please have dinner with me.
You stared at your phone long and hard wanting to respond, but you were at a loss for words. No matter what you said to him he was going to somehow turn it into a yes. If Bang Chan set his mind to something, he was going to get it done.
Standing in your kitchen you stared at Chan’s text. Even though you hated him, it had been seven years. Maybe it was time you sat down and told him all the things you needed to get off your chest for the last seven years.
You had a thought that if you were going to meet up with him, you wanted to do it on your terms. You thought that if he came over to your place, you could always kick him out and wouldn’t have to make a scene in your favorite café. You knew at some point he was going to say something that pissed you off and you were going to kick him out.
You can come over for dinner.
After pressing send you already regretted sending the text. You should have just ignored his text instead of inviting him over.
It’s a date then. I’ll show up at your place at six.
You texted him your address and rolled your eyes.
Standing in her kitchen with your best friend and your sister. You stared at your cup of coffee wondering how you could actually get out of having dinner with Chan. You had made a major mistake by inviting him over.
“I can’t believe I actually invited him over for dinner,” you sighed wondering if you should text him and cancel. Nothing could quite prepare you for spending the evening with him.
“So, are you going to have sex with him?” Siyeon asked.
You scrunch your face up and give Siyeon a look of disgust. The thought of having sex with Chan again made you want to throw up. You didn’t care that Chan was the best sex you had ever had. You could go the rest of your life not having sex if that meant you didn’t have to get naked with Chan again.
“No,” you said deadpan.
“I heard he’s got an eight pack now and a tattoo above his dick that says thank you,” Siyeon smirked before taking a drink of her coffee. You didn’t want to know how your best friend knew this information.
Jisoo dramatically gagged as you rolled your eyes. You wouldn’t doubt that to feed his ego that he had abs for days.
“I didn’t need to know that information,” Jisoo said leaning against the kitchen counter.
“My life goal was to never know that information and yet it’s now burned into my brain,” you groaned as you sat your cup of coffee down on the counter. “He’s supposed to come over in a half hour and I don’t even know what to do about us eating. I guess I could order Chinese food from that place we used to always eat back in high school.”
You thought back to all those nights in high school when your mom was in the hospital fighting cancer, and you would come home from the hospital late at night exhausted and hungry and would find your boyfriend sitting on your front porch with Chinese takeout waiting for you. You spend many late nights cuddled up on your living room couch eating take out and watching reruns of Friends together.
“I’ll bet you still know what he likes,” Jisoo said knowing damn well that you knew a bunch of little details about Chan that you wished you could forget.
“Jisoo please don’t say anymore. I already want to throw myself out of the window,” you knew you were being dramatic but you didn’t care.
“Why don’t you just hear him out and see how the evening goes?” Siyeon asked. “It’s been seven years, maybe he’s changed.”
You slowly nodded your head knowing that your best friend was right. Deep down inside you knew you needed to hear him out. He seemed so desperate to talk to you.
Siyeon and Jisoo head off leaving you alone in your apartment. You ordered Chinese takeout and made sure to get Chan his favorite shrimp and snow peas.
You stood in front of your closet attempting to figure out what to wear. You weren't even sure why you felt like you needed to dress up for him.
You settled on a grey sweater and pair of leggings. You didn’t bother wearing shoes, you just put on fuzzy socks. The sound of a knock on the door grabbed your attention, you weren’t sure if it was the delivery guy or Chan.
Opening the door, you found Chan standing on the other side. He wore a blue sweater with black jeans. He had his hand shoved in his pockets and he wore his signature smirk. His warm eyes locked on yours and suddenly you felt butterflies. Closing your eyes, you tried to shake the feeling. Your heart was betraying you. A simple smirk from him shouldn’t make you feel like you had butterflies in your stomach.
“You look beautiful,” he leaned against the door frame.
“Thanks,” you hesitantly said, stepping aside signaling for him to come inside. “Take a seat on the couch,” you pointed towards the couch. “Did you want a beer?” You asked, thinking back to the times late at night you would sneak beer from your parent’s fridge.
“Yeah,” he asked as he sat down on the couch that was in front of the window. He looked over and watched as you bent over and grabbed a beer for him. It had been seven years and he couldn’t lie, he still thought you were beautiful. Walking over to him you held out a bottle of beer. “Thanks,” he smirked.
The sound of door knocking grabbed your attention and you walked over and opened it up to see the delivery guy. You signed and took the bag and walked over and sat the food down on the coffee table in front of the couch Chan was sitting on.
His warm eyes looked up at you and he smiled knowing exactly what you ordered for him, “is that Nine Dragons?”
Silently you nodded and sat food down on the coffee table in front of Chan, and walked into the kitchen to grab two plates. You walked back to find Chan holding the container of shrimp and snow peas and he was smiling.
“You ordered my favorite?” He smiled, grabbing a pair of chopsticks.
You nodded silently and sat down next to him on the couch.
“Did you want a tequila shot?” You had a genius idea that maybe you could handle spending alone time with Chan if alcohol was involved.
He started dishing himself a plate and looked up at you and shrugged his shoulders, “Yeah sure.”
Walking into the kitchen you poured a shot of tequila and quickly took it and then poured Chan and you another shot. Walking into the living room you sat his shot down on the coffee table. He held his glass up to cheers with you but before he could say anything, you took her shot. The liquor crawling down your throat sent a shiver down your spine.
Chan let out a heavy sigh knowing that you were drinking to get drunk. He knew you well enough to know it wouldn’t take much before you were drunk.
“Did you work today?” he asked, breaking the silence that had formed between you.
“No, today and tomorrow are days off,” started to dish yourself some Chinese food.
You are in silence. The only sound was the radio that was playing in the background. You would both be lying if they said it wasn’t awkward. There seemed to be a tension between you that was definitely part sexual.
You finished eating and looked over at him as he awkwardly stared at his plate. He had so many things he wanted to say to you but he wasn’t even sure where to start.
“I’m gonna make myself a drink,” you sat up quickly. “Do you want one?”
“Sure,” he said, dishing himself some more shrimp with snow peas.
Walking into the kitchen you ran your fingers through her hair and let out a sigh. You didn’t know how you could keep doing this. There was no way you could just have a casual evening. You had a lot they needed to talk about.
You poured yourself another shot then made yourself a strong drink and made one for Chan that wasn't strong.
Walking back into the living room you handed Chan his drink and took your place back on the couch. You took a big gulp of your drink and looked over at Chan who was staring at you.
“Did you want to watch Friends?” You asked, thinking back to all the times you used to eat Chinese food together late at night watching Friends.
He raised his eyebrows and smiled, “are we going to cuddle?”
You gave him an unamused look and rolled your eyes, “you can leave if you’re gonna stupid comment. I want you to know now we’re not having sex. You’re over so we can talk and at the moment I would rather watch Friends together than chat.”
He knew he crossed the line with his little light-hearted joke. He didn’t exactly have a right to joke. He reached over and rested his hand on your knee lightly, “I didn’t come over here expecting sex. I came over to talk.”
You had watched two episodes of Friends and the alcohol had taken effect. You sat on your couch staring at him. In your hazy drunken state you for some reason wanted to kiss him. There was a flood of teenage memories flooding back to you.
“I have some things I need to get off my chest,” you sighed before taking another drink of your tequila and orange juice you were sipping on.
“Say everything you need to say to me,” he leaned back on the couch attempting to get comfortable.
“I don’t think I ever forgave you for sleeping with Lia. You broke my heart, you went and slept with a pretty little swimmer that was super in shape. Sleeping with you made me insecure enough. I never felt like I was good enough for you and you doing that let me know that I wasn’t good enough for you. Why would you sleep with a chubby girl when you could sleep with someone you could bounce a quarter off their stomach.” The word made your chest hurt just saying them out loud. You had been needing to tell him this for years.
He squeezed his eyes closed tight trying to process what you were saying. “You know I have always thought you were beautiful.”
“I don’t want to hear it right now. I have a lot I need to say to you,” you sighed.
“Okay,” he nodded.
“You broke my heart not once but twice. I put all my trust into you and you threw me away like I was nothing. You know what the worst part is even though I hate you so much. For some goddamn reason I’m still in love with you.” The words left your mouth and even in your drunken state you wished you could take them back. You had told yourself for many years you were in over with him. But you knew that was a lie. You didn’t know if you could fully ever get over him.
“I thought you were the one and I was gonna marry you one day,” you felt like you wanted to cry. You were tired of crying over Bang Chan but you couldn’t help it.
“You know you can still marry me one day if you want,” he said casually even though he was still trying to process everything you had just said to him. He knew you hated him, and he knew you had every right to, but he never actually expected to hear you say that you were still in love with him.
“I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to keep my dick in my pants,” he gave you a small smile “(YN) you have been on my mind constantly since the moment we broke up. Even when I try to push you out of my mind. Somehow you’re always there.” He ran his fingers through his curly hair and watched as you slowly stood up off the couch.
You walk through the living room stumbling a little because of your drunken state. You sat down on the coffee table so you were right across from Chan. “You know what sucks?” He shrugged his shoulders. He assumed you were going to tell him. “The fact that sex with other people sucked,” you rolled your eyes and let out a heavy sigh. You weren't sure what possessed you to say that to him. “Do you miss having sex with me?” Your question caught him off guard. When you were together, you hated talking about sex. Any time he tried to rile you up with dirty talk your cheek would burn and you would tell him to knock it off.
He licked his lips and nodded his head, “do you miss having sex with me?” He cocked his head to the side and was curious to know if he stayed on your mind.
You wanted to lie to him so badly but you knew you couldn’t, “yes.” You dropped your head in embarrassment. You didn’t want him to know these little details that you even kept hidden from yourself.
Picking up your glass you chugged the rest of the liquid courage. Reaching over you rested her hand on his thigh and looked into his warm eyes.
“Why did you do it?” You sighed.
His chest hurt as he stared at the girl whose heart he broke. You were asking him the question he constantly had asked himself over the last seven year.
“Because my ego got too big and I thought I had a right to be the way I was,” he reached up and rested his hand on your cheek and stared into your sad eyes.
“I didn’t deserve what you did to me,” you closed your eyes as they started to brim with tears.
“I know you didn’t, but then again I actually never deserved you.”
You pulled away from him and stared at him wide eyed. “I’m tired,” you murmured, changing the subject. “Can you help me get to bed?” You were drained emotionally and the alcohol had fully taken effect. You were going to be hungover after all you had drank tonight.
“Of course, I can.”
You stood up from the coffee table and you started walking towards your bedroom. Chan jumped up and placed his hand on your lower back and led you off to your bedroom. Sitting down on the edge of your bed you watched as Chan went to the bathroom and grabbed your makeup wipes. He knew you were anal about making sure you didn’t go to bed wearing any make up. He walked back into the bedroom to find you pulling her sweater off.
“(YN) what do you sleep in?” he prayed to god you didn’t say you slept naked because he didn’t think could keep calm if you got naked in front of him. He was trying his hardest to behave and show you he had changed.
“My night shirt is under my pillow,” you murmured as you rubbed the makeup wipe across your face. He walked over and handed it to you and you pulled your favorite comfy shirt on. You slowly stood up and wobbled a little bit and worked on getting your leggings off. You didn’t bother finding your shorts you slept in. You pulled your blankets up and crawled into bed.
He pulled the covers up and tucked you in.
You smiled at him and softly asked, “Chan, was she worth it?”
He shook his head, “no she wasn’t.” He leaned forwards and lightly pressed his lips to your forehead for a soft kiss.
He went to walk away, but you reached and grabbed his hand.
“What Honey?” he softly asked.
“Are you being serious with me about wanting to fix things?”
He nodded his head once again, “I want to fix my mistakes.”
“Okay,” you murmured before closing your eyes.
Your breathing quickly evened out and Chan walked into your bathroom and found the bottle of Advil and sat a few pills on your nightstand. He headed off to the kitchen and grabbed you a bottle of water and sat it down on the nightstand next to the pills.
He knew it was going to take work but he was determined to fix things. He needed to prove himself to the girl he couldn’t stop thinking about.
Your eyes slowly opened as your head was pounding. The alcohol betrayed you and you had the hangover to prove it. You groaned, pulling the blanket over your head to block out the sunlight. You felt like at any second, you were going to throw up. In that exact moment you wanted to never drink again. The sound of your door opening caused you to slowly look over the covers to see Chan standing in the doorway holding a plate of fruit.
You had a lot of questions about what happened. You remembered what you had said in the living room but everything in the bedroom was a blur.
“How did I get to bed, and why are you in my house?” You groaned, pulling the covers back over your head.
“I put your drunk ass to bed and I stayed and slept on your uncomfortable couch, because last night you said things that we need to talk about while you’re sober.”
You rubbed your eyes as you curled up under the covers. You weren’t ready to have the talk you needed to have.
“Shit I have lunch with my mom and dad. They said they had something they needed to tell me,” you sighed slowly crawling out of bed. Pulling the covers off you suddenly felt embarrassed that you were only wearing her undies.
“Did you see me naked last night?” You groaned, concerned about how much Chan saw last night. Sure when they were younger he saw you naked all the time, but you weren’t ready for him to see you naked again.
He slowly shook his head even though he wished he got to see you naked again.
“Okay that’s good.”
Looking over at your nightstand you saw the meds Chan left for you .“Thanks for taking care of me. I’m gonna get dressed, why don’t you go to the living room.”
Chan walked off to the living room and suddenly you panicked, you were hoping that you didn’t say anything too embarrassing when Chan put you to bed.
You made quick work of putting light makeup and brushing out your hair. Walking over to your closet you found a dress to wear. You quickly put on some warm tights underneath and a pair of boots. Walking into the living room you found Chan sitting on your couch scrolling through his phone. He looked up at you and smirked.
“Morning sunshine,” he said standing up.
“What’s the plan for today?” He raised his eyebrows knowing you still had a lot of stuff you needed to talk about sober.
“I’m going to lunch with my parents and you’re going home,” you sighed walking off to the kitchen.
You started making yourself a cup of coffee when you heard him clear his throat behind you. Looking over at him you rolled your eyes. You were hungover and had a terrible headache. The last thing you wanted to do was talk about your feelings right now.
“I’ll go to lunch with your family. I’m sure your parents would love to see me. I’ll text your mom and tell her to add one more person,” your eyes were like knives staring at him. You were trying to escape him right now. You didn’t need him to invite himself to your family lunch.
“Can’t we do this whole talking thing later?” You asked, leaning against the counter as you rubbed your temples attempting to get some relief from this pounding headache.
“Nope,” he dramatically popped the p.
“Whatever, fine. You’re driving because my head hurts too badly to drive.”
“I’ll drive you anywhere you like, baby girl,” he winked.
You felt like you wanted to throw up at the sight of him winking at you. “Don’t call me baby girl,” you pointed at him.
“Okay (YN),” he grinned.
“I need a strong cup of coffee to deal with you today,” you sighed as the coffee started pouring into your cup.
“I see you still love coffee as much as you did in high school,” he smiled.
Back in high school you were constantly drinking coffee before school and a lot of time after. You stayed up late, often spending as much time as possible with your mother at the hospital. Chan knew that most of the time you were only ever awake due to caffeine. So being the good boyfriend he was, he knew your coffee order by heart, and would constantly bring you coffee.
Slowly you nodded your head wincing at the pounding in your head.
“Do you still drink it the same way?” he asked, watching as you poured cream into your coffee. You nodded and put a spoon of brown sugar in it. “Did you want to make me a cup?”
Your eyebrows knit together thinking back to all the times he told you coffee was bad for you. When he was training nonstop for swim competitions, he told you nonstop that you didn’t need to drink so much coffee, but being the good boyfriend, he brought you coffee constantly.
“I thought coffee was bad for you?”you took a sip of your coffee.
He shrugged his shoulders, “I drink coffee now and then, I’ll take it the same way you drink yours.”
Silently you reached in the cupboard and grabbed him a coffee cup. You pour the strong black coffee into a ceramic cup, and slowly mix in cream and brown sugar.
Handing the cup to Chan you knit your eyebrows together and questioned, “what is your gameplan Bang?”
Holding the cup close to his lips, “(YN) I don't have a game plan. I just want to spend time with you.”
You weren't sure why all the sudden he wanted to fix things. Grabbing your cup of coffee, you walked over to the kitchen table that sat under a large window. Sitting down you sighed and watched as Chan walked over and sat down across from you. Silently you drank your coffee and stared at each other. You felt like you had never heard silence quite as loud as it was between you and Chan. Sitting his coffee down on the table he stretched his arms back and rested him behind his head. Sitting your own cup of coffee down, you rested your head against your hand and massaged your temple. You didn’t even know what exactly you were supposed to talk about.
“You said quite a bit of stuff last night,” he said, finally breaking the screaming silence.
Your heart sped up and you tried to think back to all the things you said Chan the night before. “Chan why do you keep doing this?” You asked with your head still resting against your hand. “It’s been seven years please just let me be,” you sighed.
“Last night you said you still love me,” he leaned his head forward.
“I didn’t mean.”
“I don’t believe that,” he wasn’t going to let you off the hook that easily.
“Do you still love me?” You asked, lifting your head. “Wait, don't answer that actually,” you stood up.
“(YN),” he jumped up and grabbed your hand. You turned around and gave him an unamused look. “I want to fix what I messed up. I want to take you out on a date and show you things are different,” he held onto your hand and stared directly into your wide eyes.
“It’s not an easy fix,” you pulled your hand away from him.
“Please just give me a real chance,” he pleaded.
You stepped away from him and stared into his warm eyes that seemed genuine. You watched as he took his bottom lips between his teeth.
“If you do a single thing to hurt me again, I will never speak to you again. Next time it won’t be ice coffee,” you stepped towards him so there was less than a foot between you.
He gave you his signature Bang Chan smirk, “I will treat you like a saint.”
“This isn’t going to be like last time?” You couldn’t believe it but you were actually going to give the man who broke her heart a second chance. “Bang you better not break my heart again,” you pointed your finger against his chest.
“I won’t break your heart again Honey,” you wanted to tell him not to call you that, but you didn’t say anything.
“We need to meet up with my family for lunch,” you stepped away from him. You needed to walk away before you made the stupid mistake of kissing him in the middle of your kitchen.
“Okay let’s go,” he smiled.
You walked over and grabbed your coat that was hung up by the door and picked up your purse. You and Chan headed out of your apartment and went to his SUV that was parked outside. The drive over to the restaurant was pretty quick. As you arrived Chan walked over and laced his fingers with yours, and you couldn’t help but m raise your eyebrow and give him a knowing look.
You walked inside to find your parents and Jisoo sitting down at a table in the back. Jisoo shot you a smile and bit back a laugh at the sight of you and Chan holding her hands. Your mom and dad seemed extremely happy to see you arriving with Chan.
“Chan my boy I’m glad you came with (YN),” your father said with a huge smile on his face.
“I’m glad she let me tag along,” he dropped your hand and pulled out your chair.
You didn’t say anything, you just sat down and shot your sister a knowing look. Jisoo still looked like she was about to bust up laughing at any moment.
Everyone ordered and made small talk, and you didn’t say much. You just sat there smiling and nodding your head. You still couldn’t believe you had actually agreed to give Chan another chance. The way your lunch with her family was going you would swear you and Chan had never broken up, by the way your family was acting.
You were brought out of your thoughts when Chan’s strong hand rested on your thigh. You gChand over at him to find him intently listening to something your dad was saying, while he had a crooked smile on his face. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Back when you were together, he constantly had his hand on your thigh. Sometimes it was completely innocent and then there were other times his hand would creep up really high and would try to touch you inappropriately in public.
He could feel your eyes burning into him and he gave your thick thigh a squeeze. His hand didn’t move up to your forbidden area or anything, it just gently rested on your thigh.
As the food was delivered everyone ate and made small talk together.
Your mom cleared her throat and everyone looked up, “so we have something we need to talk about.” You and Jisoo had no clue what your parents could possibly want to talk about. “We think the cancer might be back,” your mother stated it ever so calmly. She acted like it wasn’t earth shattering news.
You prayed you didn’t hear her mother correctly as your ears felt like they started ringing. Your body went numb as your eyes started to prickle with tears. Your mouth went dry as you attempted to swallow. Tunnel vision kicked in and all you could see was your hands that were on the table in front of you.
Chan felt like his world got knocked on its side as he heard what your mother just calming told him and her two daughters her cancer might be back. Jisoo started to cry immediately and you terrified him. You looked numb and completely empty of any emotion.
You slowly stood up and didn’t even bother grabbing your purse or anything and just walking right out of the restaurant. Chan sat at the table frozen for a second not exactly sure what he should do. He wasn’t exactly sure how to process what your mother had just told him.
“I’m so sorry ma’am but I need to go after her,” he reached into his wallet and pulled out his credit card.
“Chan take care of my daughter,” your mother smiled.
“I’m gonna try to calm her down. The whole lunch is on me, keep this I’ll get it from you guys later,” he handed the shiny card to your father. He picked up your purse and took off running outside.
He didn’t see you anywhere outside so he jumped in his car and started driving down the street in the direction of your apartment. About a block away he found you walking down the street crying.
He rolled down the window and unlocked the door, “please get in the car.”
You wanted to argue but instead walked over and got into the car. You sniffled back tears as they continued to slide down your cheek. Without even thinking he reached over and laced his finger with his right hand while his left hand held the steering wheel. You held your eyes closed tightly attempting to stop the tears that kept falling. He lightly squeezed your hand letting her know he was there for you.
You pulled into the parking area of your apartment and Chan parked his car and looked over at you as you blankly stared at the dashboard. The tears continued to pour down your face. He wasn’t even exactly sure what to say to you.
“Honey I’m sorry,” he didn’t know what else to say to the girl whose world seemed to be clasping on itself.
You took a deep breath and looked over at Chan, “we had a cancer scare five years ago. I prayed every night that I wasn’t going to lose my mother then.”
His heart suddenly hurt at the thought that this was the third time you had gone through this. It also hurt for the fact that he had no clue that your mother had a cancer scare five years ago. During her first battle with cancer he had been there every step of the way holding your hand, and during the scare five years ago you wanted nothing to do with him. He didn’t even know if you had someone there supporting you.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
You shrugged your shoulders, “we had been broken up for two years and hadn’t talked in that many years. It’s not like I could exactly just call you up and say hey my mom might have cancer again.”
You unbuckled your seat belt and turned so you were fully facing him. He bit his bottom lip and had a sad look on his face. “Believe me I wish I could have brought myself to call you.”
“(YN) if I knew I would have dropped everything and came to you.” He wasn’t lying and deep down inside you knew if you would have called him, he would have been home in a heartbeat, but five years ago you weren't nearly ready to work things out between you.
“I know that.”
He reached over and gently took your face in his hand. You closed your eyes as the tears continued to slide down your cheek. His thumb gently slid across your wet cheek pushing away the tears that kept falling.
“I can’t lose my mother,” you whispered.
“You’re not going to, she's a strong woman.”
You nodded your head as it was resting against his strong hand. You bit your bottom lip wondering if you should ask him to come upstairs.
“Did you want to come upstairs?”
He nodded his head and smiled, “yeah I would love to come upstairs.”
You got out of Chan’s car and he walked over and laced his fingers with yours. You entered your apartment and the first thing you did was throw yourself on your couch. Chan walked over and sat down on the coffee table across from you. He reached over and pushed your hair away from your face. You had stopped crying but your cheeks were still slightly wet from all the tears.
“You know I think you’re so beautiful,” he smiled softly.
You smiled and closed your eyes for a moment before you opened them and were greeted to Chan’s warm eyes locked on hers, “you’ve gone soft Bang Chan.”
“Only for you Honey,” he winked.
You shook your head, “you seem so much different then you were at the end of our relationship.”
He shrugged his shoulders, “I’m not the same eighteen-year-old attempting to chase my dream. I might be an asshole to some people and come off as if I have an ego, but with you I don’t have to be that way.”
You slowly sat up on the couch and crossed your legs, “you better not be an asshole to me.”
“Why don't you go out on a date with me on Friday?” he asked, taking a shot in the dark. He knew you agreed to give him a chance but he wasn’t sure if that meant you would be willing to go on a date with him.
“I work Friday.”
“Until what time?” he asked, trying to sound casual.
“I’m off at five.”
“I’ll pick you up at work,” he smirked.
“Alright Bang Chan you win. You can pick me up on Friday at five.”
He nodded his head smiling. He couldn’t believe he actually convinced you to go on a date with him. When he first walked back into your life and walked away with your coffee poured all over him he thought he didn’t stand a chance at getting back into your good graces, but somehow, he managed to convince you to go on a date with him.
“I’m going to have to get my credit card back from your parents at some point.”
You tilted your head to the side and looked at him with a confused look, “why do they have your credit card?”
“Well you rushed out and I couldn’t have them pay so I just handed your dad my credit card and said lunch was on me,” he smiled.
“You totally didn’t have to pay for everyone.”
“I showed up unannounced. It was only right that I paid.”
“Always the gentlemen Chan,” you smiled.
Standing behind the counter at your parent’s coffee shop you watched as your sister made a latte for a customer.
“Have you talked to mom at all today?” You asked.
You hadn’t really seen your mom or dad in the two days since they told you and her sister they thought your mom’s cancer was back, but you had talked to them since storming out of the restaurant.
“Yeah just a little, her and dad are going to a cancer specialist on Monday,” Jisoo sat the coffee on the counter and turned to your sister who had a worried look on her face.
“Jisoo what happens if it’s not just a scare this time?” You had to ask your sister the question you had been asking yourself over and over again since your mom told them the other day.
“(YN), I refuse to believe that it’s actually back this time,” Jisoo said strongly.
Jisoo had always been the strong one of the two sisters. She might have been the younger of the two siblings, but the way she looked after you, you would swear she was the older sister.
“Let’s change the subject,” Jisoo leaned against the counter and smiled. “What are you and Chan doing tonight?”
You shrugged your shoulders, “he hasn’t told me anything. He just told me he’s picking me up at five.”
“So, do you still like Chan?” Jisoo asked.
You shrugged your shoulders again and sighed, “honestly part of me still loves him.”
“Then hopefully he doesn’t hurt you. I don’t want to break his nose,” Jisoo smiled.
Before you could say anything Chan walked into the coffee shop doing his signature strut. He walked in the same exact way he did the day he walked back into your life. You once again shook your head at the cocky grin he had on his face.
“Oh look, it's your coffee shop stalker,” Jisoo said with a little laugh.
You let out a little laugh as Chan walked up to the counter. He smirked and gave you a wink, “look, it's my favorite pair of sisters.”
“What’s up Bang?” Jisoo laughed.
“I’m here to pick up my date,” he smiled.
“Did you want a coffee to go?” You asked as you stepped away from the counter. He nodded his head.
“What did you want?” You asked.
“Can I get a soy iced latte?” he asked, reaching into the wallet.
“Yeah I’ll make you an ice soy latte, also you don’t have to pay.”
He put his wallet back in his pocket and looked back over at Jisoo who was glaring at him. He knew very well Jisoo wasn’t someone he should mess with. He vividly remembers after you broke up with him Jisoo coming over to his house threatening to break his nose. He knew damn well she would do it. Back in high school the popular girl Mia called you fat and Jisoo smeared ice cream across her face and threatened to pull her extensions out. Jisoo wasn’t a violent person or anything like that, she was just extremely protective of her older sister.
“Bang don’t mess this up,” Jisoo leaned on the counter and rested her fist under her chin. “Don’t forget she poured coffee on you once before and she’ll do it again.”
He nodded his head knowing all too well he wasn’t going to be getting another chance after tonight if he messed up.
“Jisoo be nice,” you said standing in front of the espresso machine.
“I’m just letting Chan know that he better not mess things up,” your sister smiled, staring at Chan who was just smiling back at her.
“I plan on behaving,” Chan raised his hands, surrendering.
You walked over and sat Chan’s ice latte on the counter and walked over to the back counter and grabbed your own ice coffee. “Alright Jisoo I’m heading out,” you walked over and gave her sister a quick hug.
“Alright let me know if you need me,” Jisoo said, still staring at Chan.
You walked into the back and quickly took off her apron and grabbed your purse before walking out and grabbed Chan’s hand. He led you outside towards his car. He opened your door for you as he was trying to be a perfect gentleman tonight for you.
He quickly got in the driver's seat and started the car. He looked over at you and gave you a smile. He was still in shock that he had convinced you to go on a date with him.
“Where are we going Chan?” You asked, buckling your seatbelt.
“So, I was thinking the first place we went on our first real date,” he was pretty damn proud of himself that he remembered your first date from back when you were teenagers.
“And where did we go on our first date?” You asked, knowing exactly where you went. You weren't sure if Chan knew where your first date was all those years ago.
He started driving into town. “I’m hurt (YN), I could never forget that magical night at the Starlight Café,” he said, sounding wounded.
“Well you have impressed me Chan,” you smiled leaning against the window.
He drove the short way to the café that you spent many afternoons and evenings hanging out in when you were teenagers.
You arrived at the café and Chan jumped out of the car and walked over to grab your hand. He looked at you and gave you a big smile. He led you inside and the hostess took you straight to a table by the window.
You made small talk before ordering. Both of you didn’t have to look at the menu for long. The waiter came and took your order and left you alone.
“How long are you even staying here Chan? You’re going through all this to try making things right with me and you’re not even going to be here that long.” You were very whatever was happening between you and had an expiration date.
He licked his lips and looked down at the table, “I’m staying.”
She pushed her eyebrows together confused, “about your apartment in the city and 3racha?”
“I’m renting the apartment out and I’m still gonna work with boys from here,” he shrugged his shoulders casually like he didn’t just drop a big bombshell on you.
“You’re moving back?” Your eyes were wide. You weren't even exactly sure how you could wrap your mind around what he was telling you.
“Before I came home I bought a new building here for a new studio,” he smiled. “I already have people working on it to make the best studio possible. Changbin and Jisung are looking into moving back into the area.”
“Where are you going to live?” You knew he couldn’t keep living with his parents. You also couldn’t help but wonder who had known that he was moving home for good.
Before he could answer the waiter walked over and sat your food down in front of you and asked if you needed anything else. Chan let him know you were good, and you both awkwardly ate in silence for a moment.
“I bought a home in the neighborhood near your parents about a week ago. I can move into it in about two weeks.”
You were attempting to take in everything he was saying to you. When they started all this, you didn’t know what exactly you expected, but it sure as hell wasn’t for Chan to be restarting his life back home.
“(YN) I’m all in on us. This isn’t casual for me,” he sat his fork down and reached across the table and took your hand in his. “My life is back here now. I don’t have a need to go back to the city other than when I have to do some promotional stuff.”
“You bought a house?” You were still trying to take everything in.
He nodded his head and smiled.
“So, you're serious about being with me?”
He pushed his lips together and nodded his head, “I’m extremely serious about being with you.”
“Okay Chan,” you nodded, your head feeling overwhelmed. You weren’t even sure what you should say to him.
You finished eating dinner and Chan paid the check and you walked out of the café with Chan’s arm on your shoulder holding you closely next to him. As you got to his car, you leaned against the black SUV looking over at Chan with a smirk on her face. Your date so far has left you smitten with a feeling of butterflies in your stomach.
“What’s next Chan?” she asked as he placed his arm next to your head as he leaned in towards you.
“I was thinking we could go for a drive and look at the stars,” he smirked. He had tried his hardest to plan the most romantic date possible for you. He had thrown maximum effort in for this.
He wanted to lean in and kiss you badly, but he wanted to wait. You smiled as you moved off the car and walked past him towards the passenger side door. He took that as his cue walked over to the driver’s side and got into his car.
Chan drove you towards the edge of town where there was a small mountain that gave a great view of the city below and all the stars. He parked the car and looked over at you smiling.
“Bang Chan, you didn’t take me to makeout point, did you?” You rolled your eyes as he turned off the car.
He shook his head, “I didn’t take you to makeout point to hook up,” he unbuckled his seat belt. “I brought you here so we could look at the stars. We used to do this all the time when we were teens,” he smiled.
“We also use to have sex in the back of your car up here,” you laughed thinking back to all the times you use to come up here.
You always drive up here when you need to get away from everything. It was normally when Chan had a rough day training, or when you had a rough day at the hospital with your mom. You would sit there and stare at the stars and then would end up hooking up from there.
“I didn’t come up here for car sex. I drove up here so we can look up at the stars like we used to,” he smiled.
You got out of the car and walked to the front of the car and jumped up so you were sitting on the hood. You looked over and watched as Chan sat down on the hood next to you.
“Looking at all the lights always made me feel so small,” you looked at all the lights below.
“Is that a good thing?” he asked as he put his arm over your shoulder and pulled you closer to him.
You nodded your head, “I think so, it kind of reminds you that the world is so much bigger than it feels sometimes.”
He leaned over and lightly pressed his lips to the top of your hair. Things between you at the moment didn’t feel like you had been a part for seven years. It was almost as if you didn’t miss a day apart. Right then he realized he missed his life with you. You made him feel normal and missed that feeling. His ego had taken control of him since you had broken up. He moved to the city and made it big in the music industry like he always dreamed of. He fawned over for so long that led him to believe he was all the things they told him he was.
“It almost humbles you looking at all the tiny lights,” he stared out at all the lights.
“The talented singer and producer Bang Chan is humbled?” You smirked.
He nodded his head, “I’m trying to change.”
Chan seemed to be a very different person then the boy who broke your heart all those years ago. He seemed more like the teenager who held your hand while her mom fought cancer. He seemed like someone who really wanted to be a good person.
You sat on the top of the hill for probably an hour just staring at all the lights. You talked about the old times. All the good times you had as teenagers when you were young and in love. You wished that you could go back in time and change how things had worked out. Hell, Chan wished more than anything he could tell his younger self to keep his dick to himself and keep his ego in check. He couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t cheat on you if you would have eventually moved to the city with him. He wondered what your life would have held for you over the last seven years.
“Forgot how cold it gets up here,” you said as the breeze blew. You cuddled against him as a shiver went down your spine.
“Let's get you home, Honey,” he pressed his lips to the top of her head and pulled away smiling.
He pulled up to the front of your apartment complex. He looked over at you and gave you his signature smirk he always used to give you. You shook your head and unbuckled the seat belt, biting your lip and raising your eyebrow.
“Bang Chan, what did you want?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “Nothing Honey.”
That was a lie Chan had million thoughts going through his mind. One of the major thoughts that seemed to be screaming in his mind was that he was dying to kiss you. Another one was he thought about all the times you had sex in his car back when you were teenagers.
“Tonight was really nice,” you smiled.
“I’m glad you had a goodnight,” he unbuckled his seatbelt. “So, do I get a goodnight kiss after a great first date,” he took his bottom lip between his teeth. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his comment. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him at that moment, but you weren't sure you were ready to admit that out loud. You leaned over and rested your hand on his cheek and stared into his warm eyes. You stared at each other for a long moment.
“I want to kiss you so badly,” he whispered.
“Please don’t break my heart Bang Chan,” you leaned forward and rested your nose against his. Your lips were a mere millimeter a part. You could smell his peppermint chapstick he had put on moments earlier. You held your eyes closed tightly taking deep breaths, you wanted to connect your lips to his but there was almost like an invisible wall stopping you.
“(YN) I won’t break your heart ever again,” he lightly ghosted against your lips for a second.
You didn’t say anything else, you crashed your lips against his. Your lips danced as you leaned across the center console. His fingers tangled into your hair holding you close to him. His tongue slid along your bottom lips asking for permission.
You pulled away from him and stared at him for a long silent moment. Silently you crawled over the center console and crawled into the back seat of his SUV that luckily had dark tinted windows. Chan stared at you for a moment before he followed behind you. He sat down and you wasted no time connecting your lips to his again. His fingers once again tangled in your hair as he pulled you close to him. One of his hands moved down to your round hips and he pulled you towards him so you were straddling his hips. His lips moved from yours down your jaw and worked their way down your neck. You couldn’t help but grind your hips against him. You could feel him growing hard as you grind against his jean covered erection.
You couldn’t help but moan as his lips moved back up the column of your neck. After all these years it was clear he still knew all the places that drove you crazy.
“You’re stunning,” his lips ghosted your skin.
“Please tell me you have a condom,” you moaned. You knew you needed to stop you couldn’t have sex with him in the back of his car, but you felt like you couldn’t stop.
He nodded as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He flipped it open and pulled out a foil packet. You crawled off him quickly and reached down and pulled off your undies quickly. Silently he watched and reached down and pulled his shirt off revealing golden skin.
Without thinking you reach out dragging your fingers crossed the tight muscles that lined his stomach. Your gentle touch sent a shiver down his spine. Looking down at his waist you pulled your fingers away from his golden skin. You reached down and unbuttoned his jeans. He pushed his jeans down his thighs enough to free himself. His erection sprung free and your eyes locked on it and you couldn’t help but lick your lips.
He picked up the foil packet from off the seat and tore it open with his teeth. He pumped himself once before sliding the rubber down his length.
Silently you crawled over and straddled his thighs. Resting your hands on his bare chest right where his heart was. You rested your forehead against his as you extremely slowly sank down onto his length. You moved your hips slowly moving against him.
The push and pull of his length was absolutely intoxicating to you. Lost in a haze of lust you couldn’t get enough of him. Biting your bottom lip, your head rolled back as you moaned. His hands gripped your hips as he helped you keep the pace.
The car was filled with the echoing sounds of skin and skin, heavy breathing a mixture of your soft whimpers.
Your eyes opened wide as you looked down at Chan whose dark eyes were blown with lust and filled hunger. He moaned your name loudly, something snapped suddenly in you. You completely still with Chan still inside you. Chan could tell something was wrong.
You scrambled off of him, “I can’t do this.”
“What can’t you do?” he asked confused on why you just crawled off of him in the middle of sex leaving him hard and confused.
“We can’t do this,” you didn’t even bother looking for your underwear. You grabbed your purse from the front seat, and you quickly crawled out of the car.
He was still basically naked with his dick out staring out the window completely confused on why you ran off on him in the middle of sex. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before.
“What the fuck just happened?” he said to himself as he ran his fingers through his curls. He lifted his hips up and pulled up his jeans. He wasn’t even sure what just happened or what exactly he should do. He wanted to go upstairs and talk to you but he wasn’t even sure if you would answer the door.
We need to talk.
Moments later he received a response.
I can’t do this.
You sat on the floor in your living room trying to figure out what the hell was going on in your life. It had been three days since your “date” with Chan and you hadn’t even left your apartment. You told your mom and Jisoo you were sick so you couldn’t go to work.
You weren't even sure how to explain what had happened in the back of his car. One minute you accepted he had really changed and wanted to be with you and then moments later you suddenly panic and jumped off of him in the middle of sex.
You were so afraid of him breaking your heart again you didn’t know if you could truly give him an honest chance. You had built up so many walls around your heart, they were even stronger ones than you had thought were built.
He had texted you a couple times since the “date”. All of them were him saying you needed to talk and that he was worried about you. You ignored all of them because you didn’t even know if you could ever face him again. You were so embarrassed by what had happened, and by how badly you freaked out.
He was going insane. It had been three days since you left him high and dry. He wasn’t even sure what he should do. He had texted you a few times but it was clear you were ghosting him. Desperate times called for desperate measures.
Walking inside the coffee shop your family owned, he prayed he would see Jisoo working. He let out a heavy sigh of relief when he saw Jisoo standing behind the counter.
She looked extremely confused on why Chan was walking into the coffee shop.
“Bang what do you want?” she asked, leaning against the counter.
“Have you talked to your sister?” he asked, wondering what she knew about the whole situation that had happened between you and him.
She shook her head, “not ever since your date she’s been sick and hasn’t come into work.” Her eyes narrowed on his, “Bang what did you do?”
“I don’t know,” he just about shouted.
“Oh, so you are the reason she’s sick,” she questioned.
“I didn’t do anything Jisoo. We were having the perfect date and I was dropping her off and I told her how much she meant to me, and that I saw a future with her…” he hesitated not sure if he should mention the fact that you were in the middle of having sex when her older sister freaked out and ran away. “We were in the middle of having sex when she jumped off me and just started panicking.” He was never a person that ever felt awkward about talking about sex, but for some reason this wasn’t just him talking about having causal sex.
“Did you say something?” she was attempting to figure out why you freaked out.
He shook his head as the images of the night in the back of his car played in his mind. You had gone from having the perfect night to suddenly you freaked out. Sex with you had always been different. You weren't someone who would just go sleeping around with anyone. Long before you and Chan had ever even kissed the very first time, you had always told him that when you finally had sex if had to be with someone special. You saw sex as something extremely intimate and was something you wanted to share with only someone you was in love with. Chan had always respected your views and he waited until you were ready. Even when you were teens who would sneak away any chance you could get to sleep together he never pressured you to do anything. He always made sure the ball was in your court when it came to making decisions. Sure, you experimented and tried new things together, but if you didn’t like it Chan would stop immediately. That night in the back of his car he assumed you were going to have sex because you trusted him again and had feelings for him. He never expected you to crawl off of him in the middle of sex and rush off.
“I don’t know what to do Jisoo. You know damn well I’m desperate if I’m coming to you for help. I’m well aware you still hate me for hurting your sister, but if we’re being honest here, I don’t think anyone hates me more for breaking her heart than me.”
She pushed her eyes brows together taking in what he had just said to her. “Are you going to break her heart again?” she asked, wondering if she should talk to her sister and tell her to give Chan another chance.
He shook his head, “I’m not young and dumb anymore. I’m fully committed to making this work with her. I literally have bought a house here and a place to build my own studio.”
She couldn’t help but smile, “damn Bang you have gone soft.”
He shook his head if anyone other than you and Jisoo told him he was going soft he would go full asshole mode on them proving he hadn’t gone soft, but when it came to you, he couldn’t lie he had gone a little soft.
“Only for your sister,” he sighed.
“I’ll talk to her, I’m off here in fifteen minutes when Jamie comes in,” she stared right into his warm eyes. “I swear to God Bang Chan if you hurt her again. I’ll break you fucking nose and I won’t even think twice about it,” she pointed her finger into his sweater covered chest. Her eyes were glaring at him letting him know that she wasn’t lying to him.
“Jisoo you have my word I won’t break her heart again,” he held his hands up in a serenading fashion.
“Alright I’ll straight to see her after work.”
Jisoo didn’t even bother knocking; she used her key and opened the door to her sister’s apartment. She walked inside and didn’t see you anywhere. She heard the tv on down the small hallway, she walked down the hallway and found you sitting on her bed still in your pajamas. You were sitting up in bed with a cup of coffee resting on her pajamas covered thigh while she was watching Stranger Things on Netflix. Your messy hair was pulled half up half down with a messy bun. There wasn’t a stitch of makeup on your face and you looked a mess. The image of you sitting on the bed in front of her reminded her of how she found you when you were dealing with the final break up between you and Chan. All you were missing were the puffy eyes from the constant crying and the box of tissues that were always right next to you.
“Is there a reason I have barely heard from you since your date?” Jisoo walked over and sat down on the bed next to you.
She shrugged your shoulders before taking a drink of you coffee, “I don’t know.”
Jisoo shook her head. She wasn’t in the mood to play this game with you. Jisoo rolled her eyes, “well I’m assuming it has something to do with the fact in the middle of having sex with Chan you jumped off him and started freaking out.”
You winced at your sister’s words. What happened in the back of Chan’s car was haunting you. You had had this amazing date and everything was going perfectly. Chan had told you how he was all in with you and bought a house back home. The sudden realization that he was serious with you terrified you to no end. You knew he said he had changed, but you couldn’t forget how badly he had broken your heart already. You didn’t think you could go through that kind of heart break again.
You were silent.
“What happened? Why did you freak out?” Jisoo asked, needing to know.
You shrugged, “he’s going to break my heart again.”
“Honey he’s not going to,” Jisoo couldn’t believe she was actually trying to convince you to give Chan Bang another chance.
You shook your head, “he’ll cheat on me again. He might think he wants me, but we both know damn well I’m not his type. He always cheats on me with those super skinny pretty girls.”
Jisoo wanted to once again punch Chan in the face for making her sister feel self-conscious about herself.
“Honey, that guy is in love with you and believes he’s going to keep it in his pants this time.”
You shook your head as your eyes brimmed with tears, “how am I supposed to trust him again?”
Jisoo wished she could give her a list of reasons, but she couldn’t. Chan had proven himself in the past to be untrustworthy, but the man who came back to win you back was a very different person.
“Honey, he's really different now. Don’t get me wrong, he can still be an asshole, but I have never seen a man try so hard to prove to someone that they have changed.”
“Do you think I should give us another shot?” You asked before taking a final sip of your coffee.
She nodded her head, “you should go get dressed and drive over to the Bang’s house and tell him you’re sorry for freaking out and that you love him.”
“I’m not going to tell him I still love him,” you sat her coffee cup down on your nightstand and slowly stood up.
“Because I’m not sure what exactly I feel for him,” you sighed as you walked over towards your closet.
“You still love him,” Jisoo jumped off the bed with a huge smile on her face.
“Just get dressed and go talk to him.”
You didn’t bother even responding; you grabbed a pair of leggings and found a sweater to pull on. Without even bothering to put makeup on you pulled your hair back into a half up half down style this time, but actually had it brushed this time.
Jisoo led herself out of the apartment and you walked downstairs towards your car. She leaned against her car, staring at you. Jisoo, who wasn’t going to leave until you got in the car and drove to the Bang’s house.
“Text me when you and Chan finally work this out,” Jisoo reached over and opened the driver side door for you to finally get in the car.
You sighed and got into the car, “fine.”
You drove for about ten minutes when you pulled onto the street the Bang’s lived in. You couldn’t believe you were actually doing this. You parked in front of the house and pulled out your phone.
Please come outside.
It only took him about thirty seconds before he responded.
Alright I’m heading outside.
You unbuckled your seatbelt and by the time you were out of the car Chan was stepping outside. He wore a pair of jeans that fit him well and a grey sweater that hung to his fit body. He walked straight out to you car and met you in front of the car.
“Jisoo told me I needed to come talk to you,” you sighed as you leaned against the hood of your car.
He pushed his eyebrows together and tried to figure out what he wanted to say to you. He had thought of a million things he wanted to say to you over the last few days, but now that you were standing in front of him, he was at a loss for words.
“Chan, I don’t even know what to say right now,” you looked down at the street wondering if coming to see him was a mistake.
“What happened that night?” he needed to know what he did to make you leave him.
“I’m scared of you hurting me,” you whispered.
His eyes grew wide at the realization you were most likely never going to fully trust him.
“Honestly, is there even a point in me trying?”
“I don’t know.”
He was suddenly annoyed that you weren't willing to give him a chance to truly prove that he had changed. Your date had been perfect and you let yourself over think it all.
“I’m trying hard to prove to you that I’m different,” his voice raised slightly. You had pushed him past his breaking point. “I want to make things right with you. Hell, I even bought a place to build a goddamn studio here so we could make this work.” His blood pressure was going to go through the roof. He stared at you trying to figure out what was going on in your head.
“Why do you want to be with me so badly?” You asked, fighting back tears.
“Because I fucking love you. I haven’t stopped and I don’t honestly think I’m capable of loving anyone else.” He ran his fingers through his curls.
You shook your head processing what he had just said, “if you loved me why did you cheat on me?”
“Because I was a teenage asshole who only thought with his dick and didn’t know what he had right in front of him,” he let out a heavy sigh and started pacing back and forth in front of you. “That other night in the back of my car has fucked with my head more than anything. I thought we were finally making true progress to starting this again, and then you just left me hanging,” he sighed.
“I got scared when you broke my heart. It hurt so much, I didn’t think that I would ever get over it again. I can’t even explain what exactly happened.”
He stopped pacing and stood right in front of you, he reached his hand out and rested his hand on your cheek gently tilting it up so you were looking into his warm eyes, “give me a real chance here.”
You bit your bottom lip as your eyes were locked on his chocolate ones, “what happens if I do?”
The corner of his mouth slightly turned up, “it means I fight like hell to keep you happy and to make sure you never doubt how much I love you.”
Another tear slid down your cheek as you smiled at what he had just said to you. You knew he needed to let go of the past, the boy who broke your heart ten years ago wasn’t the same man standing in front of you practically begging you for another chance. You knew you needed to give into what your heart was saying and just let him try to fully prove himself to you.
“You’ve gone soft Chan Bang,” you whispered.
“Only for you Honey,” he smiled with a soft laugh.
“So, what happens now?” she asked with his hand still resting on your cheek.
“I would like to get back together,” he moved his face slightly closer to yours.
Your eyebrow raised a little, “so like you’re my boyfriend again?”
He nodded his head as he had his signature crooked grin on his face, “I would like to be your boyfriend.”
“Don’t break my heart again Bang Chan,” you whispered before leaning forward and connecting your lips to his. Your lips gently moved together as Chan held your round face in his strong hands. Your hands reached forward and gripped his sweater pulling him closer to you.
He pulled his lips away from yours and rested his forehead against yours and he couldn’t help but smile, “are you going to run away from me again?”
“I won’t ever do that again,” you smiled.
A year and a half later
Looking through your dresser you started pulling random pieces of clothing out attempting to find your black tights. On the hardwood floor surrounding you there was a mix of your underwear and a few bras. The sound of someone clearing their throat caught your attention. She turned back to find Chan leaning against the doorframe smirking. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and sweater that hugged his toned torso perfectly.
“Is there a reason all your panties are on the floor?” he walked over and leaned down to pick up a black lace thong. He twirled it around his finger and raised his eyebrows, “don’t get me wrong I’m a fan of seeing these on the floor, but I would much rather have been the one to take them off you.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you reached over and snatched your panties back from him.
“Have you seen my black tights?” You asked wondering if you tore her dresser apart for no reason.
“No, I haven’t, but why are you looking for tights? I think you look hot in that dress without them,” he rested his hand on your hip as he stood behind you. He brushed your hair to the side and pressed his lips to the side of your neck for a wet kiss.
“Chan,” you moaned. You needed to stop him you didn’t have time to have sex. You were already running late to Jisoo’s birthday dinner.
“We can make this quick,” he whispered with his lips ghosting your skin sending a shiver down your spine.
“No, we don’t have time,” you pulled away and turned back to face him.
“You’re a tease,” he smiled.
You shook her head and leaned down to start picking your underwear up. Sitting on the bed he watched as you bent over, and over again picking up your underwear. She could feel Chan’s dark eyes locked on your curvy body as you continued to bend over. Looking over your shoulder you found him biting his bottom lip as he stared at you.
“Are you going to behave?” You cocked your eyebrow wondering if your boyfriend would be able to keep his hands to himself.
He shrugged his shoulders, “we both know I can’t make that promise.”
You decided to not wear tights and just wear a knee length flowy dress instead. You walked over to your side of the closet and picked out a pair of black flats and walked back over to Chan who was sitting on the edge of their bed watching you.
“Chan, are you ready to go?” You asked, standing in front of him. He reached up and grabbed your hand.
“Yeah since we’re not having a quickie, I guess we are,” his words caused you to roll your eyes and shake your head.
“Let’s go Bang,” you tugged on his hand so he stood up.
You walked out of your shared house and headed for Chan’s suv that was parked in the driveway. The drive to your parent’s house was little less than five minutes since the house Chan bought was in the same neighborhood as your parents.
Chan jumped out of the car and walked over quickly to the passenger side where you were slowly getting out of the car. He opened your door and helped you out of the car. As your feet were both on the concrete, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to your. You pulled away from him and smiled, “Chan you can’t keep your lips to yourself.”
He shrugged his shoulders as his fingers were still laced with hers, “you just look so kissable all the time.”
You walked inside and held Chan’s hand as you led him off to the kitchen where your parents were. Your parents were smiling and laughing about something. You loved when your mom seemed carefree as she laughed. Your mother was once again cancer free for a month. Her hair had started to grow back into a cute pixie cut.
“Honey and Chan are here,” her dad yelled as he greeted them.
“Hey mom and dad,” you said, letting go of Chan’s hand so they could both hug your parents.
Jisoo walked into the kitchen and quickly hugged you.
“Happy birthday Jisoo,” you said smiling.
“Hey Bang,” Jisoo walked over and gave Chan a hug.
“Happy birthday kid,” He smiled.
“I’m only a year younger than you. I wouldn’t say I’m a kid,” she smiled.
Chan walked off with your father so they could get a beer and watch tv together while you stayed in the kitchen with your mom and Jisoo.
“So Honey, how is life with Chan?” Your mom asked as soon as the men were out of ear shot.
You smiled at her mom, “well he’s a great boyfriend.”
“That’s so boring,” Jisoo whined.
“I moved in with him, how is that boring?” You walked over to the counter and grabbed a glass and poured yourself a glass of wine.
Your mom took a big drink of wine and smiled, “so does that mean you’re getting married soon?”
You rolled her eyes, “we’re in no rush to get married.”
“What about getting married?” Chan asked, walking into the kitchen smiling.
You leaned against the counter and rolled your eyes. Chan would walk in the second you even mentioned getting married. “Nothing,” you said, trying to change the subject.
“Chan, are you going to pop the question anytime soon?” Jisoo blurted out not even caring that you were two seconds away from killing her.
“Do you know how much convincing I had to do to even get her to move in with me?” It had taken a solid month of him asking you constantly for you to move in with him. You had only been living together for two months and you weren't sure if she was ready to get married. Chan on the other hand thought about marrying you constantly but wasn’t sure about when he should bring it up.
“She’s suborned as hell like her father so it probably took a lot of convincing,” your mom jokes.
“Mom you’re not helping,” you said before taking another sip of your wine.
“Mom has always been team Chan,” Jisoo added, causing Chan to smile.
“I like to think Honey is also team Chan,” he said, raising his eyebrows as he walked over and stood next to you.
Your eyes narrowed onto his, “it depends on the day if I’m on Team Chan.”
Both your mom and Jisoo let out a little laugh. Bang Chan had truly met his match when he met you and he knew you were the perfect woman for him.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” you sit your glass of wine down on the counter and walk away from the group.
Walking into the bathroom you reached to close the door but someone was holding on to it. You turned to see Chan holding onto the door with a cocky smirk on his face. You let go of the door and stepped further into the bathroom. You just shook your head as he stalked towards you walking you toward the bathroom counter. You butt hit the counter and he reached for her round hips and lifted you up and sat you on the counter. Pushing your legs apart gently he moved so he stood between your legs biting his bottom lip.
You knew exactly what he was planned on doing and you was trying to figure out if they could actually get away with having sex in the bathroom.
“They’ll hear us,” you whispered as his hand moved up and down your bare thigh.
He shrugged his shoulders as his hand traveled higher up.
“We can’t have sex in here,” you sighed as his fingers grazed across the edge of your panties.He was still completely silent as his fingers played with the edge of your undies.
“Chan I’m not having sex with you in the bathroom at my parents’ house,” you was sure if you were telling him you couldn’t do it or if you were trying to remind yourself.
“What if we just have a little bit of fun?” He looked up at you with those big puppy dog eyes.
You shook your head as your breathing hitched as his finger grazed your sensitive nub, “we can’t.”
“Okay Honey,” he pulled his fingers away and gave you a smile. “Let’s just say you owe me later.”
Your eyes were wide as you stared at him, you questioned how you actually put up with the man that was standing between your legs.
“Sure, I owe you,” your voice was still shaky with how much he had managed to work you up by barely even touching you.
“I have a question for you,” he was still standing between your legs as you sat on the bathroom counter.
You reached up and rested your hand gently on his cheek, “what do you want to know?”
“Do you see yourself ever marrying me?” Your heart raced as you stared at him.
You swallowed slowly, “do you see yourself marrying me?”
“Don’t change the subject Honey,” he reached up and removed your hand from his cheek and laced his fingers with yours.
Slowly you nodded your head, “I do Chan.”
“Well that’s good because I want to marry the hell out of you (YN),” he smiled.
Your eyes went wide, “are you proposing to me?”
“Not yet, just know it’s gonna happen. I won’t let you slip through my fingers again,” he leaned forward and connected his lips to yours for a passionate kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer to you. His strong hands moved and gripped your hips. A soft moan passed your lips and he pulled away from you smiling.
“We need to get back in there for dinner.”
He stepped away from you and helped you off the counter.
“I need to pee so you need to get out,” you smiled.
“Alright I’ll see you in the kitchen.
Dinner at her parent’s house went well, you ate dinner and all sat in the living room talking and telling stories. They later gave Jisoo her gifts, and had a birthday cake. Around ten at night you and Chan finally headed back to your house.
Walking out the bathroom and into yours and Chan’s bedroom, you were patting your face dry. You turned around and found Chan kneeling down on one knee.
Your eyes went wide as you stared at him.
“Chan what’s going on?” You stopped in front of him as your heart raced.
“(YN), I know I’m an asshole who has screwed up way too many times, but I love you with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
You were silent for a long moment as you just stared at him. You were trying to process what was happening.
“Honey?” he asked, growing concerned by your silence, he was wondering if maybe he had misread your conversation earlier.
“Yeah I’ll marry,” you said and lunged at him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your lips to his. You started peppering his face with kisses and he couldn’t help the huge smile that was on his face.
“How long have you had that ring?” You asked, pulling your lips away from his. He shrugged his shoulders, almost embarrassed to admit how long he had actually had the ring. “You can’t just shrug your shoulders and expect that to be the answer.”
He smiled and said, “since the first week when you moved in with me.”
You didn’t say anything, you just leaned forward and pressed your lips to his again. Your kiss was filled with hunger wanting more. As your lips moved together, you reached for the bottom of Chan’s sweater. He pulled his lips away from yours and let you remove his sweater. You stared at him with your pupils’ lust blown as you placed your lips on his collar and placed wet kisses across his warm skin. He moaned softly at the feeling of your lips against his skin. You pulled away from him and reached down and pulled off your dress. The second your dress was off he leaned forward and connected his lips back to yours for another passionate kiss. As his lips moved against yours, he reached behind you and unclasped your bra, and pushed it down your shoulders.
Pulling away from him you stared at him for a long moment as your chest rose and fell with each breath you took. You weren't sure how you got to this point in your life, but you loved him more than you ever had.
“I love you so much,” you said softly.
“I love you too Honey.”
You stood up and hooked your fingers into your underwear and slid them down your thick thighs. You stood in front of him completely bare. He took this as his cue and stood up quickly, and removed his shoes, pants, and boxers.
You crawled back onto your bed and sat back on your elbows staring at Chan waiting for him to join you. He reached into his nightstand and quickly grabbed a condom. He tore the foil packet open with his teeth and gave himself a few pumps before sliding the rubber on.
Crawling onto the bed he laid next to you and connected his lips to yours as his fingers dipped into your core to give you some foreplay for a moment. You seemed to be already wound tight and was panting and moaning as his fingers worked on you.
“Chan, I need you,” you moaned.
He pulled his fingers away from you and moved so he was hovering over you with his weight on his strong arms. He lined himself up and slowly slid into you. Your hands went right to his tone back. You clawed at his back wanting him to be as close as possible in that moment. He leaned forwards and connected his lips to yours for a sloppy kiss, his hips rolled into yours at a deliciously slow pace.
Pulling your lips away from him you moaned his name like a sweet siren song.
It did take too long before he pushed you over the edge, as you rode out your high he thrust a few more times before he hit his own high. He laid on the bed next to you watching as you laid there in pure bliss with a smile on your face. He always thought you were the prettiest thing he had ever seen, and he was still in shock that you had just actually agreed to marry him.
“So, the future Mrs. Bang, when should we get married?” he asked as he reached over and laced his fingers with yours.
“Are you trying to rush me into marrying you?” you asked with a soft laugh.
“I’ll marry you right now if you would let me,” he brought the top of your hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on your soft skin.
“Maybe a spring wedding.”
“You pick the date and I’ll be there,” he said smiling.
“I love you Chan Bang,” you leaned over and pressed your lips to his bare shoulder.
“I love you too Honey.”
@questiontotheanswer @avaskz @eunoia-kth @straykisz @kosmoskookie @changbinscypher @planetdemon @ifhyun @minaamhh @hugs4chan @punkjisung @melodikathings @skz-jeha @seungminyoongi @n-bokhari @purplestalker @undiscov3r3d-soci3ty @xyukheix @aria-grace-scott @my-little-infinity0 @eunoia-kth @kawaiiixchan @markshearts @comic-wanda @cosmixyeri @katastrophesworld
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Bubbles and Essence
Requested by: @jisungsmysugadaddy
Words: 1.6 words
Warning: soft dom!chan, sub!reader, chan’s an idol here, fingering in the bathtub, make outs, i made his company sound good lmfao #fuckjype, reader calls chan baby boy
Extra notes: god, this makes me wish i had chan as my bf… sigh if only </3 but anyhow, idk what else to add here, so i hope you enjoy it nonetheless !!!!
This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised. ——————————————————————————-
What a fucking stressful day.
Chan thought to himself as he drives himself back from the building where he works all his might and spends most of his day there. Don’t get him wrong, he loves what he was doing, he wouldn’t give up his job for anything as it is his dream to reach where he’s at. But with his dream job, there’s about have some hiccups in there, and that is how tumultuous anf tiring it can get.
Chan is in no way lazy, no one has ever thought of him as that, not his bandmates, not his partner, not his friends, family, coworkers, not even himself, and this man carries more criticism about himself than praise. If anything, he has the tendency to overwork himself, and he enjoys doing so. But he can admit that at times, it gets really draining and at times he does get burned out with ideas. Comebacks after comebacks, while it sounds great to him, his bandmates, and his fans, it can still take a toll on him and his group’s mental health.
Seeing how drained and tired he was, he was ordered to leave and have a few days off. At first, Chan was skeptical, as he never went through this, however that skepticism was soon changed after realizing two things. His members have often commented about how exhausted he seems. How his eyebags has started to get deeper, how he kind of started to slack off and started to doze and zone out when someone talks to him, all in all he looked like a mess that needed to be fixed.
He knew he needed that break, but he also realized something else. He began thinking of you. While yes, you two live together, but you two only see each other when you both are going to hit the bed and sleep. Oh, how much he misses the late night conversations you two would have in bed, how you two would hold onto each other as you two doze off, or during those sleepless night where you two‘s bare bodies would beautifully touch each other, resulting in heavy breathings and moans spreads through the night.
God damn, does he miss having you in his arms.
He was so deep into his thoughts, that he didn’t even realize that he already reached into the parking lot of his apartment. He shook his head as he sees himself staring at the steering wheel in front of him and got out of his car.
He went into the elevator and pressed the button on the floor where you and him resided on. He tried so hard to not let him get into deep thoughts again, as he couldn’t wait to finally see you, awake and well. The door opened wide and Chan was out of there. He reached to the door of his complex and walked in as he opened up the door with his keys.
He saw the apartment complex being clean but yet quiet. He checked the time and he saw that it was mid afternoon, a time that you would be at home already from work. He walked into the place, took off his shoes, and off to your shared bedroom he goes. He intially wanted to investigate where you could have been, or maybe plan a mini surprise for his sudden appearance, but that all changed when he heard a humming from the shared bathroom.
It was a familiar hum and it was definitely not alarming to Chan as he recognizes your voice from outside the bathroom door. He held the door knob and slowly opened it, hopefully not making a sound. It was no surprised that you left the door unlocked as you were home alone-or at least you thought you did-and you wouldn’t expect anyone would open up the door.
The door was slowly opened wide and there he saw you. You were laid in the bathtub, rose-jasmine candel lit up next to you at a safe distance, bubbles and rose petals covered up to your chest, knees were propped upwards and your hair was tied up. Your relaxed facial expression, head lifted up, closed eyes and slight humming made you look like an angel, maybe even a goddess, to Chan’s eyes. He smiled at the scenery, but he still wanted you to know his presence.
“Chan, I know you’re staring,” You spoke, still not moving from which made Chan look at you in disbelief, “how did you know I was standing?”
“I got psychic powers,” you jokingly remark, which made Chan raise one eyebrow, “also I heard your footsteps and I knew it was you,“ You said, opening your eyes and your head turned to him with a smile, to which he smiled back endearingly and walked up to you. He sat next to you, placing his arm into the edge of the bathtub, “hi, baby.”
”Hi,” You said, leaning towards him to peck him on the lips, then resorted back to your previous position. Chan looked at you with full adoration as the back of your head was placed at the bathtub, exposing your neck to him. “You’re home early,” you said, you may sound calm, but on the inside you’re more than happy to see your physically absent boyfriend. While he does text you, call you, and does sleep next to you, you really did miss his affectionate presence. You couldn’t be too mad at him because you knew it wasn’t his idea to allow him to be the way he is, as you knew he would have made time for you as well. But you couldn’t intervene with his job, so you had to resort to online communication.
“Yeah, my job is letting me have a few days off so I can get back on track,” Chan said, his fingers started to play with the bubbles that were close to your knee, “and also to allow me to get back to your arms again,“ he added, as his fingers tiptoed up your knees.
You smirked at his last remark, “oh, really? Is that what the company told you?”
“Not the last part, but I’d like to have my day offs with you,” Chan’s voice started to become more lower, still playing with your knees. His hands slowly started to submerge under the bubbly water, as he stroked your thigh, and massaging it. He got closer to you, and you twisted your head slightly tilted to look at him with a weak, seductive smile, “I miss you so much, baby,” he whispers into your lips, as his hand went to your inner thighs, getting dangerously close to your heat.
You snickered lightly, “I missed you too, babyboy” after you whispered back, and there Chan crashed his lips into yours. It was slow but it was very passionate and fiery, you could tell that Chan was frustrated and he was held back, however he wanted to be sweet and gentle just based on his hestitant fingers not touching your heat.
“Chan,” you breathed out through the kiss, “please..”
“Please what?“ Chan pulled away, his face was still not a far distance from yours. “Touch me,” you whispered back.
”Gladly,” Chan muttered, as he began kissing you, this time his mouth was more opened and let his tongue go up against yours as his hand finally reached you wanted it to be. He rubbed your clit with his thumb, as he let his forefinger enter you, “holy fuck, i can easily slip in you, were you thinking of me, huh?” he pulled away to speak as you moan into his finger inside you.
”Y-yes, Chris, only you,” the way your lips expelled his real name out made his eyes go darker with lust. He smikred at you bottoming out as he slowly began thrusting his finger in you, “call me that, okay?”
”Okay, Chri—ha!” you gasp as you felt him inserting his middle finger inside you as well, stretching you out. Your noises was getting louder, and it didn’t help that Chan was began kissing up your exposed neck. His thrusts in you gradually got faster and rough, making you groan louder. With the pace of his finger, the water started to follow his movements, making some leak out of the bathtub. The floor and the clothes he was wearing getting covered in water as his thrusts were getting faster, and your shaking body holding onto him.
“Ch-Ch-Chris, I-I’m c—fuck!” You mewled, holding onto Chan’s arm, he pulled away from your neck to look at you with a smirk, his curly hair now covering parts of his eyes, “you‘re cumming?”
You couldn’t find yourself speaking so you ended up nodding, as the speed of his fingers and wrist were getting unbelievably faster. His smile and voice started to get darker, “cum then,” its as though he commanded you, because once he said so, your head was thrown back as you whined and whimpered out a noise that was music to Chan’s ears, indicat that you have reached your orgasm.
He slowly stopped thrusting, as he enjoyed the sounds you make when you’re slightly overstimulated. You began panting, as Chan got up and took off his shirt, “this isn’t over, baby, I have my day off, and I’m gonna make you skip tomorrow, just so you and I can hang out more, got it?“
While you heard what Chan said, you still couldn’t speak up, so all you could was look up at him with a smile and nod.
God, do you really miss this man.
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I just read through all of your works and I love how you write. That changbin one had me 🥵💨. I also like your skz reactions a lot! I never requested anything like this, but I was wondering if you could do a skz reaction to you having a mark kink? Like bruises and scratches, things like that lol. Or like maybe just one members reaction? Whatever works for you! Thanks 💖
Skz reactions: marking kink
!!Beware: mature content ahead!!
hard kinks/trigger warnings: none? (feel free to lmk if I should add something)
warnings (but in short because we're not trying to write the length of a grocery list for a wedding): switch!skz and reader engaging in sexual activities of which the focal point of my elaboration is the marking kink
how long would it take for him to lose his mind, you ask?
because the literal millisecond you say marking kink he's sucking on your neck
"one more so you can remember me when I'm gone."
and when you accidentally scratch his back a bit he goes
"you like em on me too?"
then says you can scratch his back all you want
will know from the way you dimple your fingertips in his skin how close you are
loves sucking on your lip for good measure after he left your thighs and collarbones all bruised with hickeys
"look, you're literal art. with love bites."
greet the master of teasing (after seungmin djdjdjd)
"you want me to suck here?"
will only lightly kiss your tummy first
then move to your thighs
and his face: gone
all you get to sense of him is his mouth sucking hickeys
u bet this sneaky mf will have the hickeys spell out a crooked m
loves the thought of marking you with a "making you his"-connotation
"now everyone knows you belong with me."
cuming in you is his personal favorite though
likes when you're cunning with it too and do little things like nibble on his earlobe
soft strokes on his back that gradually turn to pressing down on his skin
will make him literally lose his mind
watch this man lose every ounce of dominance by the time he's close
spanking becomes his primary love language the second you tell him you like being marked
"look at my bunny, such a pretty red ass. all because of master's spankings."
will definitely call you out on how wet you've gotten from it
will also spank your pussy
and loves seeing you squirm as a reaction
isn't a big fan of biting and sucking, really just loves the marks his hands leave (scratching, bruises,...)
and here is the key to make him soft for you: kiss on his thighs or arms, leave some hickeys and mimick his domineering attitude
either he'll call you a brat or just let you do whatever
because when he doesn't have the energy, he likes being reminded how dedicated you are to him
after all, the man's a leo
also, he's soft under that "I like dark"-shell so show him some love
have you seen this man's lips?
so once you say it he'd be a bit confused like
but then he just smiles for a second, looks you in the eye and ambitiously goes for your neck
will also pull at your hair a bit
and nibble at your ear
loves it when you do the same to him
likes leaving hickeys on your collar bones and stays sucking on a spot with a linger
spanks you also but only until some redness appears
when you moan, he moans back
also, please suck his nipples, this man is a sucker for that
will just smile at you and go at it as a reaction
uses his teeth
bites your bottom lip while you make out
would implement it into foreplay
sucks not only at your nipples but also on your cleavage so it leaves a small mark
not too obvious but if somebody looks there on purpose they'll see
bites at your thighs a bit too before eating you out
wants to try being marked as well
as soon as you get the opportunity to go down on him, you trail hickeys down from his stomach to his pelvis
and he tenses up when you grab his boner and gently suck this pre-cum off his tip
also imagine him moaning and squirming while you go down on him oh my god he's probably the only man that I actively wanna suck off
would be the one wanting to be marked
literally before you can even say anything he's already mentioned he likes it
throws his head back to give you better access
closes his eyes when you leave nail imprints on his shoulders because, for him, it's THE sign that he's making you feel good
also likes it a bit messy, meaning that he likes getting lost in your messy hair and the anklet that slaps his back
bonus point if the anklet leaves imprints also
will also give back to you when you give him consent to and actually admit you kinda have uhm a marking kink
will smile at you like "cute that you're so shy about it when you always scream like you're at one of my concerts"
so get ready for Jisung to leave his own little teeth imprints and sucks here and there
ugh will not stop licking spots like a puppy because "can't give you everything at once, don't wanna overwhelm you"
will use that as an excuse you painfully tease you
picks up on all the small turn ons so foreplay will be 50% marking
because he knows it's one of your biggest kinks
will take his time
but I stay thinking that, as soon as he let's go, he'll REALLY let go
like dandy boy Seungmin can't always have a perfectly gentle personality
and when you actually ASK him to mark you
so when you actually verbalize what he's already picked up
then, congratulations, you have managed to remove to constraints on the bull
have fun babes😉
also for some reason I feel like he'd be into ropes
so tying you up and then the imprints of them on you
or on him
it's kinda a theme of restriction and letting loose with him
he marks you however it's convenient for him atm
loves to show off his muscles to you
so he'll grip at your hip and leave a little red mark
hold you up against a wall and leave red spots on your torso
loves sucking on your neck and shoulders, especially during missionary
also slapping is a big one with him
loves to see the redness and jiggling of your thighs/ass
when he's in baby bread mood and just likes being taken care of after a long day, he likes some hickeys and how they look at him
maybe also like receiving some scratches on the back
but all in all likes marking you a bit more
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Word Count: 3.2k
Warning: smut, established relationship, slight bondage, dirty talk, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), consented somnophilia, slight choking praise kink, thigh riding, riding, switch!reader, switch!Jisung
Synopsis: In which Jisung puts an idea inside of your head and decide to act on it, however, it seems it might have back fired on you
A/N: I didn’t proof read this and I wrote it while in class but I still hope you enjoy this :) Based on this request, please note that requests are still closed unless you pay for one my ko-fi. I am sorry about that but I am going to get quite busy so those requests are going to be my priority.
One arm folded behind your head, you laying on your back, listening to the soft breathing rhythms of your sweet, sweet boyfriend next to you as he was in deep sleep. Unsurprisingly, you had been restless and now were now looking over at him. It wasn’t completely dark in his dorm room, thanks to the low light of the lamp that was on in the corner, and you could barely make out his features beside you. Now, what was keeping you up? Well, it had been your boyfriend’s crude mouth. It seemed the longer that the two of you were together, it seemed that the longer the two of you were together, the more naughty his comments would get. One comment that had definitely caught your attention was when he mentioned the idea of you waking him up while your mouth was wrapped around his cock. You had laughed it off, but it seemed that he had been serious, even going so far to say that he would enjoy watching you above him using his cock while he was fast asleep.
In truth, that had been the cause of most of your sleeplessness. He’d know what he was asking for since the beginning, and now here you were, your gut telling you every night that you should attempt it. You knew that he was vocal though. He would moan, pant, whine and even be a little squirmy and with his roommate, Jeongin, being there all the time you wouldn’t want him to suffer through hearing the both of you. Even the rest of his members. However, it seemed that the weekend had given you such luck that it was only the two of you in the dorm tonight.
Unconsciously, you licked your lips, trying to remember the last time that the two of you were actually intimate. It had been so long, especially with his busy schedule and endless nights at the studio with the other two in the producing team. You shifted slightly, remembering his taste, the feeling of his body pressed against yours… you shifted slightly beneath the blanket, your body suddenly heating up. Really, you should not be thinking such dirty thoughts while your sweet, hard working boyfriend was right next to you, but you also realized that you definitely were not tired and the image of him, cock buried deep inside of you, refused to leave your mind.
Suddenly, you froze, as if Jisung had caught you in your dirt though. Instead, he simply turned over, giving a soft sigh in his sleep. Judging by his peaceful expression, it seemed that the strain of working all day had completely disappeared. You smiled, touching his chubby cheek and caressing it with your thumb. He didn;t so much as twitch, making you smile. Han was always hard to wake up, especially after a long day. Maybe this was a good thing though. He deserved some stress, so why not offer him some? You’d do anything to help your boyfriend after all. Carefully, and as silently as possible, you slipped the comforter off the both of you and you nearly laughed out loud. It was no surprise that Jisung was horny almost always, so the growing bulge in the front of his sweats was definitely expected. Better for you actually.
You pulled down the sweats, along with his boxers, his cock springing free. A small, sleepy, hiss when the cool air touched his hot flesh, wanting nothing more than to have you settle on top of him. You were sure to do that, though, you wanted to have some fun with him first. You bent down, licking the underside of his cock and he responded almost automatically, groaning in his sleep. His tip didn’t even meet the threshold of your lips, your lustful eyes staring up at him. He wanted him to wake up, to see what you were doing and how you were going to him. Without warning you took him as far into your mouth as you could. “Fuck.” He cursed out with a strangled moan, eyes fluttering open finally and head lolling to the side as you dragged your mouth along his shaft. The action completely robbing him of comprehensible speech.
As soon as he started to really enjoy himself, hand going to grab your hair, your mouth disappeared. “No touching baby.” Your hand replaced your mouth, grasping firmly onto his length. You stroked him, this time at a steady pace while your other hand was giving his balls a gentle massage. A shudder wracked through his body, his hands balled into first in the sheets. You beant down once more, replacing your hand with your mouth, taking one of his balls in your mouth, and then going to the other.
Jisung let out a gasp, his unintentionally thrusting upward. “Please…(Y/N).” He whimpered out.
You smirked, seeing that he was already a mess from this. However, you weren’t satisfied yet. Your tongue darted out, licking along his shaft. You stopped short of taking him into your mouth, lips puckering to suck just beneath his tip. “Please? Please, what naughty boy? This was your fault, naughty boy. You wanted me to fuck you like this and you’re getting it.”
Jisung groaned, muttering something under his breath. You wanted to hear him, wanted him to beg for you. To beg to please just by you. You rubbed the head of his cock, running it along the outline of your lips then dripping your saliva against it. “Sorry, baby, I couldn’t hear you.” You said, almost cruelly.
“Please.” His frustrated voice sounded a little louder this time.
A kiss was placed on the head of his cock, lingering there and teasing him with the suctioning motion of your lips, knowing he desired to have you wrapped around him again. “Louder, Ji.” You encouraged.
“Please! Fuck...please suck my cock.”
“Good boy.” You purred. Jisung nearly lost it hearing your melodic voice sound so seductive. You did as he requested, taking the entirety of his cock iny our mouth. A small gag sounded through you, you took it though, responding with a pleasant hum. The vibration made him twitch slightly in your mouth, his toes curling and the sound of him nearly pulling the sheets again. Gripping the base of his cock, you began to bob your head, keeping in rhythm with your hand. Your cheeks hollowed out, sucking hard enough to earn a string of curses that only seemed to spur you further.
Practically pushing off the bed, Jisung’s hips thrusted back deep into your warm, wet mouth, attempting to keep up with your pace. Your teeth grazed him slightly in response, your free hand dragging your nails against him, and pushing his hips down as a warning. Tensing against you, he let out a string of praise. Though you were happy to hear that your boyfriend was enjoying himself, you still released him with a pip of your mouth. The look of Jisung’s cock was clear that it demanded attention, but you had other plans for him. Leaning up to him, you kissed a greedy kiss to his lips, thrusting your tongue into his mouth and allowing him to taste the mixture of your mouth and his cock on your tongue. This was returned by the exact same desire. It sent a pool of wetness to your core. “You’re such a good boy, Ji. Don’t you think so?”
“Yes…” He let out, breathlessly.
You placed your hands on his shoulders, pressing against him so that he could feel your boobs against his chest before withdrawing to straddle him. Slowly you grind your hips against him. He practically cried out for you. Jisung was aching beneath you. The feeling of your mouth and now you moving your hips against him was going to be the end of him. “Do you want a reward baby?”
Jisung shivered. “I...ah-!”
“Tell me, baby. I can’t read your mind.” Jisung gasped at your words, but you didn’t stop, rocking your hips against him again, creating a friction between the two of you. He writhed beneath you, trying to express himself. “Do you want me to use your cock baby, hm? That what you want?” A whimper escaped him. His hands pulled at the sheets again, expecting you to let him touch you. However, he was completely wrong as you positioned yourself against his exposed thigh. The contact made you shiver, already feeling sensitive and needy for your endless nights of thinking about doing this. You began grinding down on his thigh, settling for a harsh pace, wanting to tease him further. “Beg for it Ji, or I’ll cum on your thigh instead.”
He arched up, the sound of the mattress and his groans echoing through the room. He wanted to touch you, he wanted to take control, you could easily read that in his eyes. You ignored it though, rocking your hips back and forth, speeding up and spurring him further. Swallowing the last bits of pride he cried out. “Please fuck me! I’ve been good!”
You didn’t respond, only removing yourself from his thigh to climb up top of him, position yourself above his swollen cock. Inch by inch you took him, gpasing when you fully bottomed him out. His girth had always taken you by surprise. You began to rock your hips back and forth, bouncing slightly on his cock. Trying to take some control, Jisung thrusted up, meeting the movement of your hips. He gripped against the sheets, pulling at them hard wanting nothing more than to touch you. He pushed upward again, his strokes filled with certainty, having committed where your g-spot was. You arched into him, beginning to pick up the pace, testing just how far you could take him. He was holding on as best as he could, as he could feel his own high starting to come over him.
As if you could read his mind, the friction you were creating between them halted. A whine escaped him from the loss of contact. His eyes snapped open, seeing her hips over his cock once more. “Did I say you could cum?” Your voice firm, question him.
“N-no.” He whimpered.
You patted his cheek. “Good boy. You can only cum when I say so, understood?” He nodded in response, voice catching in his throat. You sat down on him again, taking him with one smooth motion. Both of you cried out in unison, ragged moans escaping from the two of you. Your hands went to his chest, bracing yourself, as you began to move once again. The mixture of skin meeting skin and moans being heard, only encouraged your actions further.
The bed creaked and the headboard banged loudly against the wall. You were certain that if anyone was home, that they would have definitely heard both of your pent up frustrations by now. A loud groan echoed as he once again tugged at whatever he could, wanting to touch you. Then he saw it, the way that you had been so engrossed in riding him that the grip on his chest had loosened and you were starting to lose yourself in pleasure. The pent of frustration he had felt during work suddenly reclaimed its place in his mind, and his hands went to your hips. Your eyes snapped open in realization but you had little time to reach for anything to stop him as your back met the bed. A primal glint appeared on Jisung’s face as he hovered over you. “Oh, you looked scared, pretty girl, what's wrong?”
You gulped, seeing the devilish expression lining his face, but you were set on being the one in charge right now. “What? You're gonna punish me now?”
“No-well, yes. One of these days, however I think the best teach you a lesson is a good fucking, don’t you think baby?” He told, voice growing husky with desire. The words seem to affect you almost immediately, a pool of wetness already spreading around your core. His hand gripped around your wrist, while the other pulled his shirt off and wrapped your wrist. “Now, my pretty girl, I want you to scream for me. Think you can do that?” That was not a question you were expected to answer because he knew that you would regardless of what you said. A hand trailed down your body, his finger brushing against your breasts first. Goosebumps littered your skin and you shivered, Jisung shaking his head, clearly not gaining the reaction he desired. For you, though, your body was suddenly hyper aware of each brazen touch, lighting sparks up in you. “I love looking at you. You’re so beautiful like this.”
“I’d be more beautiful if you let me go.” You stated, clearly not enjoying the revenge he was taking out on you.
Jisung was clearly taking pleasure in having you like this. You were about to question what he was doing but the only thing that escaped your lips was a whine. You were desperate for any contact, desperate to have any sensation back. He was kind enough to trail his fingers against your wet slit. “You know there was something I always wanted to try.”
“Wh-what?” You questioned, through gritted teeth as you pulled at the cloth around your wrists.
“Well…” His voice trailed off, slipping his fingers quite easily into you, the rings he wore brushing against the velvety patch of skin that lined your inner walls. Without warning his fingers curled, causing you to gasp. You pushed off the bed from the sudden spike in pleasure that coursed through you, mouth opening but only a mewl tumbling off your parted lips sounding. Jiung only took that as encouragement, repeating the action of his fingers pumping and curling.
In and out, in and out of you. Your eyes rolled back, head lolling backwards. You had already been sensitive and you were slipping, the world almost turning white as the pressure in your core was building. “Ji, I’m-”
He pulled his fingers out of you, a smirk plastered on his face as you whined from the loss of contact. You had lost your composure more quickly than he had. “No.”
You whimpered. “Please...please, please.”
“Say you want me.” He commanded, suddenly hovering over you.
“I want you.” You repeated.
A hand came down to mack one of your breasts, causing you to scream, before the hand that had just come in contact with you went to your throat. He squeezed, appling just enough pressure to see you struggle slightly. The anger was clearly evident in his eyes. “After not letting me touch you and tease me, you should be begging me to fuck you. Try again.” You bit down your lips, to which he shook his face, hips moving forward so that he cock brushed over your entrance. “Speak, (Y/N).”
“I want you to fuck me.” You whimpered out, hand clasping over his wrist.
Jisung pressed his fingers against yours once more. “Again.” Hi fingers applied more pressure, a warning that you should ask him properly. “Beg me.”
“Please, please fuck me Jisung. I need your cock inside of me.”
A grunt sounded from him, again squeezing at your throat one last time before, turned you over so that you were on all fours and your ass was pressing against his. He slammed into you in one smooth motion, pressing his fingers against your mouth to muffle any noise out of you. You mewled, nonetheless, writhing beneath him. Jisung filled you once again, an overwhelming cry could be heard from you. His hips rocked against yours, slamming himself fully into you, then withdrawing entirely over and over again. Slapping sounds of skin meeting skin filled the room, each harsh, brutal thrust of his hips, making jolt forward each time, only to be pulled back by Jisung’s hands. His freed hand went to lift your hips slightly, causing each thrust to press you closer to him, your clit rubbing against him as he did so. The friction was delicious, and overwhelming. Your senses felt like you were drowning in your own pleasure. Jisung was everywhere at once. His calloused fingers toying with your clit and his merciless pace never slowing. Every movement, every touch, every incoherent word that tumbled from both of you reflected the pent of frustrations that the two of you felt. “Is this what you wanted, pretty girl? For me to fuck you like this even though I was sound asleep?” He questioned, finally speaking up.
“Yes.” You pleaded, eyes glazing over and your state completely in daze.
“I’m going to ruin you.” He told, the words coming out as a promise. He was relentless as ever, causing you to cry once more. Jisung’s hips snapped harshly against yours, one hand moving to the front of you, ring cladded fingers pressing each one of the tips of his fingers around your throat once more. The crude sound of his cock sliding so easily into you made the world around you seem to spin. A whimper left your parted lips, tears streaming down your cheeks as another build up for your orgasm came to you. Jisung forced you upward, so that your bodies were flush against each other. “Cum, pretty girl. I want you to fall apart just from me.”
“Fuck...Ji. I love when you ruin me.”
At the words, Jisung let out a snarl. His fingers, that were previously around your neck, found your clit, rubbing furiously at the sensitive bundle of nerves as he continued to piston into you mercy abandoned. Learning down, his lips pressed against your spine, a rather comforting sentiment as his fingers pinched at your clit. A scream ripped through your throat, the wave of pleasure sending you over the edge, the pleasure being too unmeasurable. The stimulation from you clenching onto him triggered his own orgasm, his movements becoming erratic and sloppy. His body went slack, hands gripping onto your skin with a bruising force as he let out his own cry of pleasure. His chest heaving as he pulled out of you slowly, allowing you to lay yourself down.
He slumped next to you, sheets torn off his bed, every scattered and sighing in content. “Are you okay?” He inquired, realizing that he could have been too rough with you.
“Yes.” Came your breathless reply. “Don’t worry.”
His eyes turned towards his lower half. He was still hard, the previous orgasm doing little for him and his endless stamina. “Good. I was thinking we could wash up together.” He said, waggling his eyebrows as he removed his shirt that was tied around your wrist.
You rolled your eyes at him. “I think I’d rather sleep… you tired me out.”
Placing a kiss on your forehead he nodded. “Alright. Just know you’re gonna be punished later for what you did.”
“That wasn’t my punishment?” You said, suddenly feeling wide awake.
With a devilish smirk, he simply shrugged. “I should clean you up though.” And suddenly he was getting up on his feet and heading to the bathroom. Oh, you’d be in for it tomorrow for teasing him.
taglist: @geniejunn @jsung01 @woofwoofbangbang @hanjiswaq @ofsake @flightoftheflightrisk @jonecb-97 @yutaalove @changbinscypher @eunoia-kth @lemon-boy-stan @seungminyoongi
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just imagine hyunjin smelling like warm vanilla perfume and just his scent itself turns you on so you tease him but he’s too tired so it turns into lazy soft sex
warnings: smut, afab reader, scent kink (???), fondling, pet names like puppy, penetrative vaginal sex.
You weren't sure what it was about Hyunjin's cologne, but it always made your skin tingle pleasantly whenever you got a whiff of it and now, laying next to the man as he peacefully slept, you were practically suffocating in the warm vanilla scent of it. Usually cologne had you gagging and your eyes watering, but it seemed everything about your boyfriend was pretty and comforting and made you horny as shit.
"Jinnie," you whined, elongating the last syllable and making your boyfriend groan. "What," he whined in return, mocking how you spoke, and you whined again, hitting his chest softly. He giggled before peeking his eyes open just barely, the pretty dark brown looking as calm as a muddy pond.
And you were about to ruin all of it.
Hyunjin gasped softly when you suddenly cupped him through his briefs, eyes slipping shut as he groaned at the stimulation. "What are you doing puppy?" He asked, his voice low and gruff after sleeping for around thirty minutes, and you grinned to yourself as he began rutting his hips up into your awaiting palm. "Just trying to get some tonight, that's all."
"Puppy," he whined, his face scrunching up as your hand reached underneath his clothes, bare skin against bare skin and making him shiver. "I'm too sleepy for this."
"Then roll over on your back, I'll do all the work." Hyunjin sighed dramatically, eyes staying closed as he did as you asked with a small faux pout on his features, and you rolled your eyes. So extra, you thought to yourself.
You pulled his underwear down so that it was resting underneath his balls, straddling his waist and wasting no time on sinking down on him, prep and foreplay be damned. You had been sitting there with your dirty thoughts for almost half an hour; you were definitely wet enough.
Hyunjin sighed happily when you pressed kisses onto his collarbone, large hands running up and down your back and sides as he bottomed out inside you. "I could fall asleep like this."
"You better fucking not."
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Bang Chan / 484 words / smut
⊱ ──────────────────────── ⊰
You knew that watching this film would lead you to feel incredibly horny. Your friends had warned you what it did to her and that it would be best to watch it with your boyfriend if you wanted an excuse for some action, but your patience got the best of you and you thought you'd be safe to get off on your own. Yet, it wasn’t even halfway through the film that you felt your core begin to tingle and your panties became wetter by the second. You reached into the side table beside your bed, pulling out your vibrator. It was risky, but you were sure that Chan wouldn't be home for at least another hour or so.
Slipping your sleep shorts off, you slid your hands into your panties, your fingers began to work slightly on your clit before replacing them with your vibrator. Not even five minutes passed and you were already so close to your high, just as the door to your bedroom opened to reveal a tired but pissed off Chan. His arms were crossed against his chest as his eyes bored into you.
"Oh?" Chan sneered with a smirk, "Having fun there?" He said, gesturing his head at your actions, considering you hadn’t pulled the vibrator away. You tried to speak up, only to have Chan shut you down as he made his way over to you, already removing his shirt as he sat on the end of the bed.
"One rule," He reminded you, sliding one of his hands up your thigh, "You had one rule and unfortunately for you, you got caught," He snickered, using his free hand to place the toy against your clit even harsher, causing you to gasp loudly and take a hold of his wrist as the added pressure was too much.
“Fuck Chan,” You moaned breathlessly and as you were about to reach your high, he removed the vibrator and tossed it to the side of your bed, leaving you annoyed.
Chan chuckled at your annoyance after denying you of an orgasm. He pushed you flat against the mattress, hovering over you as he placed a kiss to your lips before moving down to your neck, “I hope you didn’t think I was going to let you cum that easy.”
“Chan,” You sighed, gripping onto his shoulders, trying your best to grind your body against his.
Putting a stop to your movements, Chan pulled away from your neck and stayed pressed against your core as his hands moved delicately along your exposed skin before finding the vibrator again, "I could play this little game for hours,” He smirked, his hand going under your shirt.
“I hope you’re ready to beg to cum,” Chan sneered, moving his body to position it in front of your already wet core, his breath warm making your body tingle, “Because you’re in for a long night.”
⊱ ──────────────────────── ⊰
- Admin 🌶️
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new things | y.ji
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : smut
𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 : mature
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : dom!jeongin x f!reader
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 1k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : subspace, orgasm control, sex toy usage, slight nipple play, implied edging(?), restraints, use of lube, use of the color system, squirting, mentions of protected sex.. i think that's it?
𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 : pwp
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : not really edited or proofread...
"P-p-please, Innie," you softly cry, tugging at the soft restraints around your wrists. "I've been a g-good girl! I d-didn't do anything naughty!" You whimper, your thighs quivering.
He pulls away the vibrator from your clitorsis, listening as you catch your breath. "I know," Jeongin murmurs, turning off the wand and soothing your thighs. "You are my good girl. You have been so horny and needy all day, but you didn't even tease. Not in front of the others, or alone," he murmurs, kissing your thighs to help you calm back down.
"Y-y-you could tell?" You bashfully ask, not thinking your needs were obvious.
Jeongin hums in affirmative.
"How could you tell?" You ask in a small voice.
"Well," Jeongin giggles despite being in his dominant role. "Your thighs would rub together, your gaze would linger on my hands," he emphasizes this by running a finger down your collar bone, over your breast, and down to your hip, "and my crotch, your breasts seemed a bit swollen but not painful," Jeongin gently cups your breasts before rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, "and I know it's the time of the month when you get really horny." He grins, rather proud of himself for noticing all of that.
You gape up at him, your mouth open until he closes it with two long fingers.
"Surprised, darling?" Jeongin asks with a smirk.
You nod, eyes wide.
"Now precious, will you let me take care of you? I'll let you cum this time," he promises, to which you eagerly nod. "Are you still doing okay? What is your color?" Jeongin pointedly asks. He knew edging you could oversensitize you to the point of no return, so he needed to check.
"It has been enough of a break, so green," you manage to say.
Jeongin nods before giving you a sweet kiss, an intimate reminder of his love for you and wanting to take care of you. He settles himself between your legs once more, not picking up the toy.
Jeongin blows cool air onto your core, making you wiggle. He smiles before rubbing his thumb on your clit, the rest of his hand resting on your pubic mound. Soft moans begin to escape you before you make a slight face.
"What is it, darling?" He asks, slowing down his movements.
Your cheeks heat up as you shyly request, "can you use more lube?"
He says nothing, merely getting up and taking the bottle. Jeongin pours some into the palm of his hand before massaging it onto your labia and clitorsis. He settles himself between your legs once more, continuing where he left off. A smile graces his features as you whimper and whine more, his ego boosting that he could make you feel so good.
When Jeongin notices a slight change in your muscles indicating your hole is fluttering, he replaces his thumb with his mouth. He gives your clit a soft kiss before sucking on it, his tongue alternating between massaging and flicking the sensitive bud. Jeongin’s forefinger prods your entrance, and he keeps his eyes trained on you as he inserts it slowly.
"Innie~" you gasp out, your glazed over eyes trained on him.
You feel him smirk against your clit, pulling away to watch your hole take his finger. He begins to curl it, repeatedly pushing on the spongy area of your g spot.b
"Please please please?" You beg with a sweet pout. His finger felt heavenly, but you craved more. Another finger or two, his mouth, or better yet, both.
"As you wish, darling," Jeongin soothes, adding another finger and pumping them more, wet noises filling the room. The sound used to bother you, but now you love it.
After a moment, Jeongin adds his lips to your core, the knot that had previously been slowly building growing at a much quicker rate.
Your gasps and cries of his name let him know you were getting close, so he adds a third finger and sucks against your clit harder, letting his teeth scrape the sensitive area.
With two squeezes to your thighs – your indication of permission to cum – the knot and mixture of needing to pee escapes you. Your eyes widen at the wetter than usual sensation, tugging at your restraints to see what happened as you snap out of subspace.
Jeongin pulls away, and his face is much wetter than before or from your usual juices.
"You squirted for me, precious," Jeongin explains with a grin, a glint of mischief in his eyes.
He goes over to the drawer where you kept your sex toys and condoms, and pulls out a washcloth. Jeongin wipes off his face before coming over and cleaning off your legs.
"You were planning that," you say, shocked.
"It felt good though, right?"
You nod but say, "I was afraid I peed on you…"
He raises a finger, shaking it some. "There's a few good reasons why I have you pee before sex, and this is one of them," Jeongin assures you.
When you scoff, he raises an eyebrow.
"I didn't expect you to be such a little shit," you bashfully explain.
Jeongin laughs wholeheartedly, shaking his head. "Channie hyung had said something about it, and Changbin agreed that it was quite the site. So I looked into how to make my lovely partner squirt. One thing led to another, and here we are," he explains himself.
You shake your head and roll your eyes – which he lets slide – before stating more so than asking, "you're going to tell them later, aren't you?"
Jeongin hums in affirmative, grabbing a condom and setting it on the bed before slowly undressing. "You can't act like you don't talk about our sex life to your friends," he points out.
"Touche," you concede, your eyes eagerly following his movements as he unrolls the condom onto his erection.
"Do you want to keep going, my previous love?" Jeongin asks, settling over you and leaning on a forearm, his cock hard against your thigh.
"Please," you murmur, pouting your lips to get him to kiss you.
He easily gives in, resting more of his weight onto you and rubbing his cock against your folds to lubricate his length.
146 notes · View notes
this... why do i see yeonjun, hyunjin and wooyoung...
They take so much pleasure in making you cum/squirt with just their hands…
131 notes · View notes
hi as someone who was ALSO absolutely murdered by the fuckin. THE red lights mv. send help i want to tie hyunjin up and pull his hair and watch him beg. i also want bang chan to ruin me <3 pick me up and slam me against a wall and just HGHHHHHH
ANYWAYS what i came here to say is that your writing is really good and i love it :]
i love you 🥺
ugh, i want ALL of this 😭 imagine being in a poly situation where Chan doms and you and Hyunjin are both switchy subs, and which role either of you takes on depends partly on ~the vibe of the day~, and partly on which one of you has been acting up
Hyunjin's been being bratty, tugging at your metaphorical pigtails, so Chan decides he needs to be punished—and since you've been so sweet and well-behaved for it all, you get to do it. Chan sits back and watches as you tie Hyunjin up and tease him, only interfering to offer the occasional suggestion or a niblet of praise for you—he barely acknowledges Jinnie at all, and that's part of his punishment.
you're maybe a little clumsy, a little overeager, but you've seen Chan take Hyunjin apart so many times, you know exactly how to unravel him. your nails raking down his chest, catching cruelly on his nipples, leaving trails of red along his skin and dragging desperate little whines out of him. your fingers pushing between those pillowy lips and fucking his mouth until drool runs down his chin and tears run down his cheeks. your hand tangled in his hair and tugging at his scalp while the other wraps around this throat and squeezes.
when Chan thinks he's had enough, sees he's right on the edge of breaking, he stops you to ask if you want your reward for being a good baby for him? and of course you do.
he takes you kneeling on the foot of the bed, positioned so Hyunjin has a clear view of the way you're falling apart in his arms, of the way his cock slides into you—part of your reward is knowing that you get what Hyunjin can't have. the way his cock twitches at the sight of you stretched so obscenely around Chan, the way his eyes flit from your arousal dripping down your thighs and onto Chan's heavy balls to the flutter of your lashes as his grip on your throat tightens and eases up, the naked desperation on his face that gets more pained with every whimper and moan that leaves you—it all just makes it sweeter when you finally cum around Chan's cock.
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no thoughts just cockwarming w/ changbin. i just know that man is thick as fuck and could probably split me in fucking half (and would do so happily 🥴🥴)
i’m in changbin brain rot today and all i wanna talk about is this now
like i’m sitting here thinking about him slowly easing his thick cock in you, kissing your neck and holding you really close to him. and he’s very adamant about cockwarming being just that, even tho he gets a kick out of watching you squirm and whine for him to fuck you.
but man…can you imagine cuddling with him with his cock in you and strong arms wrapped around you 🥴 i think i’d go nuts
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[[I've been having quite a few thoughts of Felix recently.]]
Felix spots you as he walks into the room. it had been a few days since he last fucked you and he craved to have you're cunt wrapped around his hard cock, to hear your mewls of pleasure loudly. to listen to your pants as he drives balls deep into your core. he growled low at the thought slowly walking behind you he wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you tight against him.
''hhhmmmmmmm'' he says into your ear. ''I've missed you and...'' he moves one of his hands past the waistband of your pants cupping your clothed core he then says ''this too, hmmmm'' as you shiver his deep voice sending a shock wave of pleasure right to your clit.
Felix chuckles deeply and guides you away towards your shared room to give you the best fuck you will ever have in your entire existence..
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Cars- Bang Chan imagine
Contains: explicit sexual contact, chan as hot rich hotel owner, car sex, slight degradation, blowjob, fingering, etc
Minors don't interct.
Working in one of the most expensive hotels in the country was something you never expected. You were just a normal student who was struggling to meet deadlines and pay for tuitions and so doing many part time jobs. A law student washing dishes in random restaurant and drooling over food, observing the way those chefs used to work with wok , deep fried food, the process fascinated you so much. Even though you were familiar with cooking since a young age it was rather more like responsibility, a chore. And that's how you learned cooking by slowly observing the chefs and utube videos, as changing the entire career dreams at the last year was little too wild and impossible. But struggles eventually leads to happiness, the owner of one of the restaurant you used to work at got surprisingly close with you ,her name lucy a single divorced hot milf she thaught you many skills and tricks with cooking. Your last straw before quitting the law school was getting failed . And just like that a blessing in disguise. She noticed how dishearted you were and then decided to give you the greatest opportunity in your life.
Working in God's menu was every chef's dream, and Lucy made your dream come true. The owner and main chef of God's menu Bang Chan was close with Lucy and just by that using some connections you got yourself inside that paradise, but Chan was a total boomer with you, he didn't wanted to give you job at the first place as you lacked experience and knowledge but he valued friendships way too much to deny Lucy.
Chan was always hard on you, constantly making you work with him, teaching the mystery behind flavours, making you memorize foreign cuisine recipes, you sweared you didn't even struggled that much in law school as there was no one lecture you and expect from you. He acted all tough just to make you perfect and eventually became close, you fell in the pit of one sided love the moment Chan agreed to hire you. What you adored most about Chan was how he always made sure to not make you panic while being near fire, never told you to hurry while cutting vegetables. His this small gestures meant so much too you. And in span of 7 months that baby was finally your boyfriend. Chan was someone who followed his heart and just like that, he confessed in the most cheesiest way possible. And here you are today a great chef with lot of knowledge and a handsome, caring and loving boyfriend. 3 years of loving relationship.
"baby~~ " you said while hugging your boyfriend from the back who was too invested in making a 4 tower cake for his best friend's wedding even though he wasn't much experienced with baking whatever he tried doing was no less than perfection.
"yes, baby? Need anything?", Chan asked you. Even though you have been listening to his sweet honey voice since years it never failed to make your heart flutter.
"stop working now, it's 2:30 am let's go home now", you whined slightly tipping on toes and kissing Chan's neck. Getting a small hum from your boyfriend.
"just few more minutes babe", Chan said turning back and softly giving pecking your forehead . You huffed in response being too tired of your boyfriend's night owl tendencies, you went back to the table and singing a good night in most extra way possible. Chan just smiled at his girlfriend, he too wanted to go home and just cuddle with you but work was trash .
Finally looking at clock it was 3 :15 something, his work finally done. After cleaning up every thing,washing the dishes and shoving the massive cake into refrigerator carefully, Chan happily made his way to you. He too saying baby~ in most extra way possible, he was an true night owl no matter how much he worked at nights without you being by his side he wasn't able to fall asleep. A habit he picked up 3 years ago.
"get up, it's 5 am", Chan whispered into your ear while aggressively moving you to make you leave your dreamland.
"aggh, good morning the love of my life", you said slowly leaving your subconscious world. Even in slight unconscious mind you were flirty and cheesy.
"good morning, it's 5 A.M ", Chan again told you a wrong time just messing up with you.
"what the fuck", you yelled being angry on your boyfriend's crazy work habits , you were glaring at him till he bought his his wrist infront of your face . His watch reading 3 : 08 , being confused and worried for your wrong vision you looked at the wall clock that to read 3:07 am.finally realising you have been scammed.
" you fucking lier", you yelled at Chan for pranking you, but you were glad that he finished the work soon.
"heheh", Chan laughed, he was too cute for you.
"let's just go home", you said trying to keep a poker face, packing your stuff then gripping Chan's hand and walking out of the space.
Going down through the elevator, Chan unleashing his 50 shades enthusiast.
"What is it about elevators?" Saying this and immediately pulling you into a deep kiss, he tasted like chocolate probably from the previous cake flavours, his tongue feeling so good while exploring your mouth, one hand at the back of your neck and the other interlocked with yours. His lips always felt like heaven.
He broke the kiss as the door opened, he adjusted your hair and outfit and locking his eyes with you giving you a warm smile, fully a contradiction to his previous action. This man's duality always suprised you.
"let's go baby~", Chan said getting out of elevator with you, hands interlocked moving back and forth, if someone saw you both they would probably think that you both are possessed, smiling and jumping like kids finally reached the car.
"let me open the door for you", Chan said with a smirk while opening the car door for you , there was not a single human present in the parking lot, creepy vibes but perfect for your both future activities. Chan entered the car and stared at you in the most innocent way possible.
"what?", You asked him giving him the same innocent eyes.
"babe, the kiss made me hard", Chan admitted almost shamelessly his eyes pointing at his pants , and yes it was a great hot site too notice.
"will you melt, till we reach home?", You asked Chan looking into his eyes hands slowly creeping to his thighs dangerously close to the not so safe zone.
"I would rather burst here than melt till we reach home", Chan said holding your hand bringing it straight over his memeber, you blushed deeply at his actions.
"Come on babe, we had done Car sex multiple times", Chan said making you blush and wet down there even more. You got a little too needy as the memories of Chan fucking you ruthlessly on the back site of the car came to your mind. Your hand still palming his cock through pants.
"hop on the backseat", you said almost breathlessly, Chan smirking at your needy , horny State. You both went on the backseat to make a great mess over there .
"aaah" , you moaned loudly as Chan slapped your left boob while sucking your neck. His teeth never failed at marking you all over, his touch was heaven especially whenever he squeezed the back of your neck or roughly groped those boobs. Detaching himself from your neck he gripped your neck in an erotically painful way and forcing you on your knees.
"Suck, use that mouth atleast one time for a good cause", Chan said , his degrading voice mixed with heavy lust. Nodding at his words , without wasting any time you bought your hands to undid his belt and zipper . Palming him through his boxers and finally releasing it from all restraints, you slowly put hs cock inside your mouth, he was really really hard. A fucking long and thick cock he had, you not being able to take him even half way as the position was slightly painful but nevertheless you started bopping your head up and down and palming the remaining with your hands. His loud groans and moans indicated that he was satisfied enough, you increased your speed, occassionally hollowing your cheeks to take him deeper every time. He gripped your head as he was close , he started to move your mouth as he pleased making you gag non stop, it hurted but you liked it so much. " You feel so fucking good, all mine", Chan said breathlessly after a final thrust and empting himself inside your mouth, his cum feeling your mouth in escasty. You sucked off every single drop not wasting anything.
Chan lifted you up from the car floor and made you sit on his lap. You looking fully fucked out, with clothes misplaced and mouth dripping with saliva and his liquid , black mascara tears running down.
"My precious slut", Chan said while making his way to your panties, your jeans were already removed a long ago.
"you want my fingers? Hmm?" Chan said as his fingers were slowly entering your pussy , his cold hands making you shiver .
"yes please sir" , you begged voice laced up with pure desperation and needily grinding on his fingers and thighs. Chan smirked again at you.
"what you want more, my fingers or my cock?" Chan made gave you 2 choices both of them heaven.
"your cock, sir please" You begged again. He finally smiles at you pure ill intention smile.
"Since you are too good girl, I should give you whatever you want", Chan said and finally bought his cock towards your tight leaking cunt slowly entering himself inside you.
"ride", Chan said and you felt like being on cloud nine. Slowly moving your hips up and down in decent speed . His cock fitted so well inside of you, it was pure bliss for you.
But without a warning Chan bought his hands towards your clit and pinching it making your whole body jolt in overstimulation.
" babe,you are too good, so deserve my fingers too", Chan said with a sadistic smile.
It's gonna be a long morning.
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Are you trying to get me to like you? Is that it?
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 3.9k
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Strong language, vampire mythology, sexual content, casual sex, one night stand, feelings of regret, feelings of loss, blame and resentment, anger and conflict, self loathing and trauma, descriptions of violence and blood, coercion, adult content and underlying themes of horror throughout.
𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: Chapter VIII of Sanguis Limerence: Awakening™. See Chapter I for story description.
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Shifts in perspective from third to first person | Self-insert, female reader x Bang Chan | Self-insert, female reader x Lee Know (All members included)
𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐀𝐕: Contents List | Chapter I | Sanguis Limerence™ | Sanguis Limerence: Origins™
𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: © September 2021 by jl-micasea
Comfort isn’t something I’m used to anymore.
Though that wasn’t always the case.
I used to have comfort in droves. I couldn’t move for lavish luxury and more money than I could have ever reasonably spent.
Funny how people change…
These days, all comfort serves to do is remind me of what I’ve lost. I’ll take sleeping rough over a made-up bed any day if it spares me of those memories. Some things just aren’t worth it.
Like my library, back at the old estate. The private space I had there.
I don’t doubt that the others knew about it, but they let me use it as a place to slink off to when they were climbing the mansion walls in boredom. Dealing with boisterous young vampires looking for kicks was a task requiring patience I simply didn’t have on my bad days.
It wasn’t much, the candlelit hideaway. But it was a retreat for me, a place I could just… be myself.
Eventually it became our place. Mine and hers.
Couldn’t even hold on to that, in the end.
In addition to my disdain for comfort, I’ve also never been okay with taking charity.
Maybe that has something to do with my human upbringing.
I was born to a disgustingly rich family. Where money was the language as well as the currency, and if you didn’t have it, you weren’t heard.
We didn’t need charity, neither did we give it, and I was always conditioned to believe that doing so would render you weak. Pathetic.
The man that takes charity from his neighbour is the man that dare not call himself a man. That’s what Cillian always used to say.
Not that I ever took any lessons on board from him, scum of the earth that he was.
But I suppose some things are just drilled into us, no matter how hard we try to shake them off.
I don’t, and have never, taken charity.
Not even when our situation demanded it.
When desperation should have outweighed my pride. Where a little charity would have taken us a long way.
No, I did what needed to be done, provided for my brothers as best I could and never at the mercy of someone else.
So… you can imagine my current discomfort.
Soft, clean sheets at my back, a fluffed pillow beneath my head. A thin cotton blanket draped over my waist, exposing my bare upper body to the warm air of the cabin. A fireplace roars beside the bed, filling the space with the musk of burning logs and newspapers. Glossed pine furniture fills the open plan room, decorated with delicate white doilies and paisley patterns. It’s the quintessential picture of country life.
I watch the shadows of the flames play against the rich wooden walls and sturdy oak beams that make up the ceiling.
The running of the shower water was a nice distraction from my thoughts, but it stops eventually.
The bathroom door opens, footsteps pad across the panelled flooring and plush rugs.
"Sorry," Lena whispers. "That took longer than I thought."
I smile absently, feeling nothing in particular, but noting that she looks good fresh from the shower.
Clad in nothing but a soft blue towel, her skin is dewy, her cheeks still a tender shade of rose. Her dark hair sticks to her back, and she tosses it over her shoulder, using the towel in her hands to dry it.
The smell of citrus wafts through the room, a combination of her soap and shampoo. It’s definitely not unpleasant.
"Come here," I sit up straight against the headboard, patting the free side of the bed.
She wanders over, staring intently when she gets close.
"Your eyes," she muses. "They’re brighter than before. Alive."
I nod and brush her hair from her shoulder, tilting her head aside by her chin as I inspect the damage on her neck.
"That’s because I’ve fed. You got a first aid kit?"
"Y- Yeah… In the kitchen."
I stand up from the bed, throwing the sheet aside without too much care. I feel her watching me as I stroll across the room, disappearing into the kitchen.
It’s small, but homely. Only one or two counters to speak of, a bare flame stove and small fridge. Freshly picked flowers sit in a small vase, pots and pans are dotted here and there.
There are cardboard boxes stacked against the back wall, some empty and some still sealed. Someone’s scrawled ‘kitchen’ in black marker across the surface, underlined several times.
"Did you just move in?" I call, finding it weirdly out of place. She talked like she’d been here for years.
"N- No…" she replies. "I was just moving some things around. An early spring cleanin’, that’s all."
I shrug it off, remembering that actually, I don’t care.
I open several cupboards and peer inside, finding nothing more interesting than a few boxes of cereal and old tins.
"Where’s the kit?" I frown.
"Top shelf, on the right," she shouts back.
Her voice carries across the space too loudly, and I wince with the impact of it.
She always used to talk normally when we were alone. Sometimes she’d even whisper when she didn’t want to be heard by anyone else. I always found that endearing.
But Lena isn’t her. She never will be.
And I know that, deep down.
So what the fuck am I doing?
I eventually find the kit, taking the green box from the shelf and flipping it open. There are no pills to speak of, just bandages and a few plasters, disinfectant wipes and a pair of old gloves.
I roll my eyes before reminding myself that not everyone keeps a consistent stash of vitamin B and iron pills on the off-chance they’re raked into a one night stand with a vampire.
One night stand… Is that even what this is?
Wandering back into the room, I see that she’s sat in front of the fire, legs crossed underneath her. The white sheet is wrapped around her shoulders, her eyes closed in something akin to content.
I’ll have to be the one to tell her it won’t last.
"Here," I instruct, sitting back on the bed and gesturing for her to join me.
She does so, watching me as I stretch out a ream of white bandage.
"Can you move this for me?"
She nods and slinks the sheet down, tucking it under her arm.
The marks on her neck are as neat as I could make them in the throws of my thirst. Two small pinpricks, pink and tender, still oozing a sliver of blood.
I lean into her, glossing my tongue over the wounds to collect the last drops of her essence. She shivers and sighs quietly, placing her hand on my thigh as I hold the bandage to her skin.
"Do you do this with all of them?" She whispers.
"All of what?"
I’m pretty sure I know what she means; I’m not fucking stupid. But I’m also not about to regale her with tales of a time when my morals were looser than a noblemans’ purse strings.
"You know," she hesitates. "Your… women."
"Women? You make it sound like I’ve got a stash of them ready to go," I scoff.
I glare at her, smoothing a length of tape along the sides of her bandage.
"No. Call me old fashioned but keeping a harem around wore out its’ novelty some centuries ago."
"But… didn’t you say there was a girl?"
My heart seizes up at the mention of her. Maybe it’s worse because I’m hearing it from Lena, someone I’ve just used to try and quell the loneliness for a little while.
But it usually doesn’t hurt this bad.
It’s not lost on me that this is effective cheating.
That what I’m doing here, with this naïve human girl, is tantamount to betraying everything I ever said to the girl I truly love. That I’m going against every promise I ever made, every sweet nothing I whispered into her ear while she trembled beneath me...
"You said you loved her," Lena tries to catch my line of sight.
"I did. I do…"
"What happened to her?"
"What was always bound to happen." I shake my head.
Silence settles in, and I wonder what Lena’s thinking. Maybe she’s convincing herself I’m a good person, despite my wrongdoings. I don’t have the heart to tell her she’s wrong.
"So, where is she…?" She asks.
I narrow my eyes at her, taking a deep breath in.
"I’d really rather not talk about it, Lena."
She purses her lips, looking a little disappointed. But she seems prepared to relent, thank fuck.
"Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry… I just don’t really know how any of this works."
"There’s nothing to know," I state. "We fucked. I fed on you. That’s it."
There’s silence as I finish dressing her wound, and I have a feeling I know what’s coming next. I just pray she doesn’t say it.
"That doesn’t have to be it, you know."
My stomach drops.
I stand from the bed, collecting the bandages and making a swift move back to the kitchen. This is a conversation I don’t want to have, much less with someone I barely know.
"You have nowhere to go, and I’m all alone here," she continues, following me across the room.
"You could stay?"
I hear the hope in her voice. The impossible dream that she thinks she might be the one to save me from my misery.
I like that she’s trying, I’ll give her that much.
But there’s no redemption for me. Or not from her, anyway.
"Look," I sigh. "I meant what I said back there, in the forest. You’re not special."
"I’m also not a fool," she shoots back. "I know gettin’ in good with the likes of you has its dangers. I’m just tryin’ to do a good thing, Chan."
"Why? For me? I don’t deserve good things, Vaillena. What we just did should be proof of that."
She shakes her head, holding her hand up to me vehemently.
"I’m inclined to disagree with you. That was most fun thing I’ve done in a heck of a long time."
"You’re not getting it," I almost laugh, in total bewilderment of this girl. "I don’t want you, romantically or as friends. You don’t want me either, you just don’t know it yet."
"I get that this is all new and exciting for you – you don’t know if I’m going to kiss you one minute or behead you the next – but believe me, that’ll wear off. Always does."
"Good lord," she laughs, throwing her arms to the air. "You are just a whole bundle of fun, you know that?"
"And you’re as deaf as a post," I throw back, turning away from her.
I head back towards the bedroom, collecting my clothes from the floor like bread crumbs as I go. I tug on my trousers, ignoring the small sniff of upset I hear from the kitchen.
"Fine," she calls, following me once more. "You’ve made your point. I get it. You don’t want anything from me, not friendship or anythin’ else. That’s just dandy."
I take a deep breath as she positions herself in front of me, her brown eyes wide with appeal.
"But you should at least stay the rest of the night."
"Lena, I told you-"
"It’s not charity," she interrupts, holding her hands up in defence. "It’d make me feel better… if you stayed. Fuckin’ and chuckin’ ain’t something I’m in the habit of doing, I was raised better than that."
I narrow my eyes, crossing my arms over my bare chest. She swallows, clearing her throat.
"Besides, the sun will be up soon, and I hear that’s not good for y’all."
She’s right about that, at the very least. Exposure to sunlight normally doesn’t irk me all that much, but I feel like I could do without the energy drain for the next few hours.
I exhale slowly, feeling the defeat rise in my chest.
"Fine," I groan. "But only so I can rest. The second I wake up, I’m out of here, and we’re done. Permanently. Understand?"
"Like a first-grade math test," she beams.
She quickly looks sheepish, her eyes darting around.
"B- Because… a first-grade math test is easy to… understand?"
I can’t stop the scoff of a laugh that inspires in me, and she smiles even wider.
It warms me, and I don’t notice it until I realise I’m feeling something other than cold, cruel loneliness.
There’s something about this girl that makes me want to see her smile.
And I know that’s not a good thing.
Waking up in an unfamiliar place never fails to throw me off course. Doesn’t matter how often I do it.
The first thing I feel is dread.
The vast expanse of fear that spills across my body, from head to toe until I realise there’s no blood on my hands. That’s a minor weight off my chest, albeit the most important one.
Next is to confirm the state of myself. How intoxicated I was and still am, how presentable I am and need to be if I’m to avoid drawing unwanted attention.
It’s all too rare I find myself in the state I happen to be now.
Swathed in clean cotton sheets, a mattress at my back. It’s a distinct improvement to the way I’ve been waking up the last few months, and that’s no mistake.
I stretch out my legs and relish in the space of the bed, the rolling of my joints as the sheets ruffle around me. Sitting up as best I can, I rub my eyes to clarity, taking in the scene before me.
The waning embers of dying flames glimmer in the fireplace, dressing the room with the smell of freshly smoked wood. White net curtains are draped across modest shuttered windows, the scenery beyond them too dark to make out, but I can hear the familiar sounds of the forest from here.
I either slept straight through the day to the following night, or for five goddamn minutes. Telling by the level of alertness I have; I assume it isn’t the latter.
The space beside me is empty, but I know it shouldn’t be. I wasn’t here alone.
Standing from the bed, I take the sheet with me and wrap it around my waist in place of trying to find my clothes again.
There’s no response, and I can’t detect anything that sounds like the presence of a human. Not even a heartbeat.
I quickly start to regret giving in to her request, no matter how refreshed I feel. A decent nights’ sleep was something I hadn’t had in all too long, but this was still charity.
It makes me feel… dirty.
Approaching the pine dining table in the centre of the room, a sudden scent hits me. I recognise it all too well, and instantly wish that I didn’t.
It’s tangy, rich in iron and potent enough to creep up on me without warning. My stomach lurches in trepidation and mild disgust.
Three blue and white porcelain bowls are nestled on the table, two of them empty. But the leftmost one isn’t. It’s the source of the smell, filled to the brim with still-warm blood.
I’m about to contemplate what the fuck is going on when I hear footsteps thudding around outside, the crunch of debris under booted feet.
A mumbling voice bleeds through the walls, but I hear it as clear as day.
"… Just ridiculous. I’m his favourite. She’s utterly insane if she thinks she can take my place. I’m doing this for him, he knows that. He’ll be so proud."
I don’t recognise the voice, but it’s eloquent and well spoken. Just the kind of accent you’d expect from an inner-city girl.
"I’ll singlehandedly show him he was right to put his faith in me. Bless the So-"
I head towards the front door of the cabin, throwing it open and stalking outside, only to watch in utter surprise as Vaillena stumbles over the tree line, her breath heavy and ragged.
She’s wrapped up in fur lined bomber jacket, a bow slung over her shoulder and a quiver attached to her back. The belt around her waist isn’t there for security, because it’s positively laden with dead rodents.
She stops at the sight of me, pushing her glasses up her nose and smiling like she’s not mid-caveman cosplay.
"Who… Was someone else just here?" I ask.
She blinks for a moment, looking around her almost comically.
"Ain’t no one here but me, honey. And a good mornin’ to you too."
I could have sworn I heard someone, but I know my mind hasn’t been the most reliable lately. Especially where the beast is concerned. I don’t smell anyone else other than Lena, that much is certain.
Must be losing it.
"Come inside, Miss. Grylls." I quip, gesturing for her to come in.
"Please," she pants, glaring at me. "That man doesn’t hold a candle to me, ain’t no comparison."
She breezes into the cabin, unhooking the belt and launching a myriad of expired squirrels and rats to the table. I watch the whole thing unfold with a confound sense of confusion.
"Hosting a dinner party?"
"Somethin’ like that," she approaches the cabinet on the wall, tugging it open and retrieving a hunting knife. "My dinner guest isn’t the conventional type, though."
She takes off her bow and hooks it back to the wall, followed by her quiver and the several arrows it holds.
"You… caught all these?"
"I did indeed. Daddy taught me to hunt, he wanted to make sure I’d know how to look after myself out here. Turns out I’m a catch with a bow."
I glance at her hands, at the scuffs on her skin. She must have fallen or scraped herself, there are smears of blood and dirt on her palms. But she doesn’t act like she’s hurt. Doesn’t even address it.
She simply sits at the table, dragging one of the empty bowls to her. She takes a squirrel by the neck, holding it above the bowl, and in one, swift motion, slices the thing open from neck to stomach.
"Lena…" I mutter, placing both my hands on the table. "Are you going to tell me what the fuck has possessed you, or do I have to keep guessing?"
She raises an eyebrow at me, placing the bloodied knife on the table and resting her chin in the palm of her hand. The squirrel remains held in the air, bleeding out into the bowl.
"I thought vampires were supposed to be smart. Years of wisdom and all that," she sighs.
I glare at her, resisting the urge to take that squirrel from her and throw it back to the wilderness it came from.
"It’s for you. Obviously."
"You thought I was going to be drinkin’ all this blood? I mean, I’ve never tried it so I’m a little curious, but I-"
I slam my fists to the table, unable to control the confusing combination of rage, admiration and frustration building inside me.
"What are you doing?" I snarl.
"Providin’ for my guest," she states, her tone steady. "I figured you’d want to eat before you-"
"Did I ask you to provide for me? I assure you, I’m quite capable of hunting a few fucking rats."
I run my hands through my hair, gripping at the roots as she simply stares at me.
"I never doubted it," she shakes the squirrel to expel the last few drops. "Just thought I’d save you a trip or two. Seriously, what are you fussin’ for?"
"Are you trying to get me to like you? Is that it?"
She scoffs under her breath, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Really? You forget what we did last night? I assumed that you already kind of liked me, Chan."
I feel my blood running hotter, my head throbbing in annoyance.
I can’t do this again. Not with her, not with anyone.
"Why do you have such a hard time acceptin’ help?" She asks, taking another squirrel from the belt. "Not everyone has an ulterior motive. Good karma is a thing, you know."
I see the clouding fog seeping into my vision, the red hue that indicates the stirring of the beast.
Without thinking, I snatch the squirrel from her hand, ripping the thing clean in two with not an ounce effort. The innards fall to her floor, the blood decorates my chest, warm and thick.
She gawps at me, blinking several times before she purses her lips and reaches for another rodent.
I want her to throw me out. To call me a monster and tell me she never wants to see me again. That would make this easier.
"That was a mighty waste, Chan. Cost me a good arrow."
"Stop!" I yell, tossing the two halves of the squirrel to the wall. "Stop giving me a reason to stick around! Stop acting like this is normal! Stop… Stop being so fucking nice!"
My shoulders are quaking, and I close my eyes tightly.
Visions of her face return to me, of the tears she expelled for me. Of the pity in her eyes, the first I’d ever seen from anyone. Of her words of love and affection, for me and the beast inside me.
I fucking miss her…
With every fibre of my being. Every possible cell in my dead, cold body cries for her in unison.
I know that I’ll never find what I had in her again, and the prospect of life eternal without her is more damning than the worst of fates.
My chest aches, my throat is so dry I feel like I’ll never be quenched if not by her.
For the first time since I really care to admit... I feel the endless pit her absence left behind. The pit that I created, when I tore her apart.
And all I want to do is fall into it.
I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking, going long with all this. Entertaining the idea that Lena could even hold a candle to what I once had.
I’m supposed to be suffering.
I deserve every inch of pain that comes my way, and all the rest.
I hear footsteps pad across the wooden floor of the cabin, a small sniff of empathetic upset.
I open my eyes, feel the unfamiliar sting of... something I’ve not felt in fucking centuries.
Lena stands before me, and as though she’s taking to cradling a child, she outstretches her arms, wrapping them around my middle.
Her warmth is inherently comforting, but it tears at the parts of me that don’t want comfort. The scent of fresh soil envelops me, of nature and the parts of the forest she brought in with her.
A cheek presses to my blood smeared torso, the pattering of a tentative heart rings clear in my ears.
"I might not know you," Lena mutters quietly. "But I know a soul in pain when I see one."
She meets my gaze, her gentle brown eyes taking in every inch of my face. Words catch in my throat, the lump that’s formed there forces them back down.
"Stay. Heal," she implores.
"Just for a little while."
A/N: Would love to know your thoughts on this, as always. Hope you’re enjoying so far. Mica
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you know i can’t leave you alone (hyunjin/chan)
Hyunjin and Chan have lived for centuries together, letting the world pass them by. They’ve had to come up with creative ways to stave off their boredom.
“Are you terrified? Be terrified. It’s you I love.”
—Carol Ann Duffy, Medusa
Characters: Hyunjin, Bang Chan
Genre: smut, vampires, established relationship, horror
Warnings: brief nongraphic mention of suicide, blood, d/s dynamic, breathplay/choking, bondage, edging, bdsm and general rough treatment, orgasm delay/denial, overstimulation, unhealthy attachment styles lmao like uh they’re both quite literally a little insane, dark and sexy but mostly dark
you can listen to the official playlist here! you can find my meta of red lights here!
ah, me and my disclaimers. this is, for lack of a better term, rather dark and twisted SJKD. i swear i’m fine. just know it has elements of psychological horror. also, please suspend your disbelief re: the minute details of vampire biology. I don’t know how they can come if they’re dead. don’t ask me LMAO.
((((if people like this, I did do copious research for this one, which means i have enough lore for a couple more parts! lmk......))))
Hyunjin doesn’t remember most things anymore. At a certain point, your brain gets overwhelmed. For the average human lifespan, the brain does alright. It forgets, and forgets plenty, but it remembers enough that, for the most part, the forgetting goes unnoticed. Or, even if it is noticed, it just isn’t significant enough to matter.
But when you live as long as Hyunjin has, the things you do not remember quickly begin to outweigh those which you do. It becomes noticeable, and when it first becomes significant, it matters a lot. Hyunjin has a vague recollection of that fear, the way it gripped him, the panic when he realized he had begun to lose pieces of his human life. But it’s only a shadow now—because now, the forgetting has gotten to the point where it has returned to not mattering anymore. A full circle. A snake that has eaten its own tail.
It’s a constant now. There’s no point in worrying over it. Hyunjin forgets, is forgetting, will continue to forget as sure as the earth will continue to spin steadily to its own destruction; as sure as time will continue its march forward, plodding on and on, dutiful and patient; as sure as the universe will continue its inevitable expansion outward and outward until there is no recognizable shard of the earth nor inkling of time, until there is no memory left to mourn, until there is nothing at all.
But the moment of his turning—the moment Hyunjin died, and came back changed—is one he is sure he will carry with him until the oceans are gas and the planets are dust and the stars have all burned out. It is the only thing now that can still truly scare him. He remembers pain, unparalleled and consuming, like he was being eaten alive, as the venom burrowed its way into every last one of his cells. He remembers the sensation of a hand, which once felt cold on his skin, now the same temperature as Hyunjin’s body. He remembers the fear, sharp and paralyzing, which turned to despair, and finally dread.
Hyunjin is a vampire, has been one for so many long centuries he gave up counting lifetimes ago. There’s no point. There’s only knowing there was a before and an after, and that he is in the after, and will be in the after forever.
At least he isn’t alone. Hyunjin has Chan, and if he didn’t have the proof of his existence to stand as evidence, sometimes he might think he has always had him. But that isn’t true. Chan found him after Hyunjin had been turned against his will, and saved him. Hyunjin, if he had a mortal life to give, would willingly lay it down at Chan’s feet. Would then; would still now. Another constant, true now and forever. He could walk every last centimeter of their grounds a thousand times over, on his knees, and still not deserve Chan’s love.
Chan had been turned by his own mother, who asked him to let her do it so that she would not live out an infinite half-life alone. She had not wanted to lose Chan to the unrelenting progression of time. Chan, unable to bear the thought of his mother alone at the end of the world, had agreed. His mother had died not a handful of decades after, ripped apart and burned by their own kind, and Chan had begun his crusade against injustice, continued it for centuries, alone, until he found Hyunjin.
Things were perfect for a while. They worked together to capture and punish the wrongdoers, to keep evil vampires in check. They fell in love, and it was sweet and wild and pure. The vampire community cherished them for their hard work, their dedication, their goodness. Their lives were bright and full and happy.
But over time, their reputation was soured as some began to claim that they were doing all of this out of a hunger for power, for control. And maybe, on some level, these people were correct. Hyunjin and Chan kept at their war against the darkness, saying they did so because it was right. But Hyunjin at least recognized that the same darkness they fought had found its way inside of him. He did it not just because it was right, but also because he did not want to lose favor.
But once it was clear that they had lost favor, they retreated. Fearing the wrath of other vampires, and also feeling disheartened at the lack of appreciation, Chan and Hyunjin withdrew to a beautiful estate in the middle of a dark forest. Hyunjin can’t remember when. All he knows is it was a long time ago. They have lived here together in isolation ever since.
There isn’t much to do here that Hyunjin and Chan don’t create themselves. They removed themselves from the world, and so too did the world remove itself from their lives. Hyunjin has a feeling the world has all but forgotten them. That’s fine with him. He’s not sure he or Chan are fit to exist there anymore, anyway.
He knows they have both been slipping. It’s only natural, when one has lived so long and forgotten so much. He sees his own sort of hazy madness reflected in Chan sometimes, when his eyes go vacant and dark. There’s a loss there that Hyunjin knows because it is in him, too. There are moments where Hyunjin forgets where he is. He forgets why he’s here, how he got here, where it all began. Was there ever a beginning? Or was he always here, only here? Is here all there is? What was he ever trying to do?
But it’s so faint now. It’s deep in the back of his mind, the knowing that something is wrong, that it’s been wrong for years. Has it been years? Or just days? Or maybe a millennia? Hyunjin isn’t sure. He can’t focus on these thoughts hard enough to be sure, can’t hold them long enough to really care. All that matters anyway is Chan, and Chan’s love, and the moments where they come back into balance for a flash of dizzying clarity. That’s how Hyunjin knows it’s still mostly right. That this is good and safe, because he has Chan, and Chan loves him.
Vampires don’t sleep, exactly. Every now and again, though, Hyunjin will slip into a vegetative state. It’s akin to hibernation in some animals, he’s decided. Here he has what he thinks must be dreams. They’re always the same. Or maybe he’s forgotten the rest. It doesn’t matter. What he remembers is running down a hallway. It’s familiar to him somehow, though he isn’t sure why. He’s running towards a light, a door. There’s the push of desperation against his throat, to be sure, but something else covers it, more potent. Resignation, and the smothering comfort that it brings.
He gets right up to the door, breathless, but when he reaches out to touch, the illusion shatters, and he finds himself staring into his own eyes. He’s surrounded by mirrors. In an instant, ropes appear, deep red and fraying, and twist around his body, his arms, his neck. They pull him back, drag him to the floor. He feels his head slam against the wall as he’s pulled away; he feels his spine running ragged against the uneven surface of the baseboards. He shakes. He thinks he might be laughing.
Once, when he woke, he told Chan about his dreams. Chan’s expression had slipped into something soft, and he had gathered Hyunjin into his arms. Hyunjin breathed him in, kept inhaling until his head spun. Chan ran his hands up and down Hyunjin’s back.
“I dream it, too,” he said quietly.
Hyunjin remembered no shock at the confession. It felt more like a missing piece settling into a puzzle, like he had always thought it was the case but had never been sure. Still, he asked, “You do?”
“I dream it, too, but mine aren’t ropes,” Chan replied. “Mine are chains.”
“Chains,” Hyunjin repeated, almost dreamily. He could feel Chan’s breath on his neck. “Show me.”
And Chan had produced beautiful silver chains, a trick of his magic, and wrapped them around Hyunjin’s waist, his arms, all the way down his legs, and dragged him from the study to the third bedroom. Hyunjin had never cried like that, ever. Not even when he was begging the vampire that turned him for his life.
He loved every minute of it.
Their mansion is vast and empty. Some things have fallen into disarray, but Hyunjin hardly notices. It’s so large; if one room fails them, the wallpaper peeling, the floors sinking into the earth below, they simply move on to the next. If they want, they do the repairs themselves. If not, it doesn’t matter anyway.
It wasn’t always this way; once they had visitors—of this Hyunjin is almost certain, though not quite. He doesn’t ask Chan about it; he doubts he will have any answers. If Hyunjin can’t remember, then Chan certainly can’t, either. Age has no meaning to them, but all the same, Hyunjin knows Chan is much older than he is. So he doesn’t ask.
The thought of it doesn’t come often. Hyunjin cannot remember names, or even faces. It’s just the hint of things—a dusting of freckles, dancing across the bridge of a nose; soft cheeks, rounded in a smile; a voice, low and lilting, sweet like honey. Sweet like blood, Hyunjin thinks. He thinks he can taste it. Then, for a fleeting instant, the grief comes, deep and empty, but by the time he can put a name to the emotion, it’s already gone.
Whether the visitors are real or a fantasy, the only certain thing is that they are now wholly alone. No humans venture out here anymore. Hyunjin and Chan feed on the wild animals, though they have an old store of human blood, frozen and hidden away, in case the winters get bad, or for the time of year when the nights are short and fleeting, and there are only a few hours of darkness between sunset and sunrise. No amount of blood sates their thirst, but at their age, Hyunjin and Chan have long since learned to endure it. To ignore it, even.
They have plenty to occupy themselves with, to keep the wanting at bay.
Hyunjin thinks of it like a dance. He steps back so that Chan knows to step forward. He is a puppet wrapped up in strings, and Chan is the puppeteer, only Hyunjin was the one to give him the strings in the first place. He showed him where to tie all the knots; here, hyung, and here and here and here. Chan has power over Hyunjin, but only because Hyunjin lets him. And so really, the power is all Hyunjin’s. It’s intoxicating. So much of his brain is taken up chasing it that there isn’t much room for anything else.
It’s a chase that starts without one of them knowing. Often a day will pass where they do not see each other. This much is not odd. But at a certain point, Hyunjin will make the conscious choice to slip away whenever he knows Chan is near. He wants him to notice his absence and begin searching for him. Eventually, Chan will catch on, and it becomes a long game of hide-and-seek. Chan will not directly and immediately begin looking. He will go about his day, keeping an eye out. If he catches a glimpse of Hyunjin, he won’t follow right away, but will usually cut his activities short and begin his pursuit.
Or Chan will start it—Hyunjin will realize that wherever he goes, Chan is not far behind. He rarely actively makes his presence known, but instead gets closer and closer, until Hyunjin recognizes the pattern and tries to pull away. They will continue this way, faster and faster, until it becomes a true chase, until Hyunjin is running, until he can’t run anymore, until he decides on a hiding spot and waits for Chan to find him.
Today it’s the former. Hyunjin was bored, and decided to make himself scarce. It seems Chan was bored too, because it wasn’t long before he heard agitated footsteps a few floors above him, and felt the first shocks of anticipation.
The sun has set now; the moon is on the rise. Hyunjin creeps through their darkened house, listening carefully for Chan’s approaching footsteps. He’s worked his way from the bottom floor to the attic and is waiting for Chan to come upstairs so he can begin to make his way back down to one of the bedrooms. A sort of thrill races through him, as it always does. It’s not real fear—Chan would never hurt him—but it’s something close.
He hears the creak of the floorboard at the top of the stairs and pauses, waiting to hear which direction Chan will go. Chan walks leisurely, moving to Hyunjin’s right. He takes the same pace to ensure he doesn’t lap him. Hyunjin is lighter than Chan, and so makes less noise when he moves. His hearing is also better, so he does have the advantage. But Chan has more stamina, and always manages to run Hyunjin into the ground.
Hyunjin shivers, thinking of what comes after. He wants it, can feel the desire making its slow way across his body. That’s his other weakness—he lets the desire blind him, and it makes him vulnerable.
But not yet. Chan is somewhere near the back of the attic now, so Hyunjin takes the chance to slip down the stairs.
He goes down to the fifth floor, then the fourth, then the third. Here he cuts through the kitchen, dusty and unused. He hears footfalls behind him—Chan has caught up faster than he anticipated. That’s fine. He enters the dining room, trying to speed up, but when he chances a glance over his shoulder, Chan is there in the doorway. Hyunjin puts the table between them, then pauses at his chair.
Chan draws up short behind his at the opposite end. Their eyes meet, and a familiar chill cuts through Hyunjin’s mind. It’s the same feeling he gets when he meets his own gaze in the mirror.
Legends say that vampires have no reflections. The school of thought is simple—a being’s soul is housed in its reflection, and as vampires are thought not to have souls, logically they cannot have reflections, either.
This isn’t true, of course. Hyunjin is dead, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a soul. At his moment of death, his soul left the mirrors to join his body in the earth. But he was not buried; instead, his sire’s venom reanimated him, and his soul was left to flit between an empty, lifeless body, and the reflection in the mirror. Hyunjin has a soul, but he cannot feel it inside. Instead, all he can do is watch for it in the mirror—an echo; a faint reminder that once, long, long ago, he was alive.
Looking at Chan is the same thing, in a way. Chan looks back with the same longing. He is now—watching and performing at the same time, searching for something lost. Hyunjin pulls his chair out and Chan does too, and they sit in unison. Together, they lean towards each other across the table. They’re too far away to touch, of course. They lean forward anyway.
They’re slowly becoming one, Hyunjin thinks as he tilts his head to the side, studying Chan. Chan does the same. There’s almost an animosity here, in their watching, but it’s the kind Hyunjin has for himself. He knows any flaw he may see in Chan will only be reflected in himself, too, so there’s no point in doing much more than noting it silently and moving on. Because no matter what, it’s always going to be them, Hyunjin thinks, bringing a hand up to his mouth at the same time that Chan does, pressing the pads of his fingers to his lips. Him and Chan, Chan and him. Just them for each other, only them. And he knows that Chan knows this, too. They both know it, with more certainty than they know anything else in the world.
Chan settles back in his seat, and Hyunjin finds himself doing so as well. He drops the hand at his mouth to the arm of his chair.
“Are you eager today,” Chan asks him softly, “or just slipping?”
“I’m not sure,” Hyunjin answers honestly. “Maybe both.”
Chan hums, nodding. “Well, will you be joining me in the bedroom, then?” The bedroom. Like they only have one. “Or will I have to be more persuasive? It’s hardly fair; I have caught you, after all.”
Hyunjin gestures to the distance between them, though neither of them move to get up. “No, you haven’t,” he says. “I can still run.”
A smile flickers over Chan’s face and then is gone again. “Please, try.”
They’re frozen for a moment, and then Hyunjin rises swiftly from his chair with the full intent to bolt. He doesn’t get farther than a step or two before something stops him, and he looks down to see familiar chains snaking up his thighs, already tangled around his calves and feet. He looks back at Chan, who is holding them, wrapped once around his knuckles, almost lazily.
“That’s cheating,” he accuses, but he’s not really stung. He goaded Chan into it, after all. His behavior was an open invitation.
Chan’s eyes glint in the dim moonlight. He strolls toward him as Hyunjin puts on a show of struggling, collecting the slack as he goes, wrapping the chains once, twice, thrice again around his hand. “Yes,” he admits. “It is.”
More chains appear; they wind themselves tight around Hyunjin’s chest and waist and biceps, pinning his arms to his sides. Hyunjin sucks in a breath, trembling. Chan is within reach now, but Hyunjin can’t touch him.
Chan watches with amusement for a moment, and then pulls on the chains, toppling him. Hyunjin’s world tilts, and he raises his head just in time to save it from hitting the uneven floors as Chan pulls him out of the dining room and down the hall. He bites back a cry; it’s not a secret that he likes being treated roughly, but he doesn’t want to give Chan the satisfaction of a reaction like that so soon.
Chan stops at the foot of the bed and then loosens his grip on the chains so he can turn and lift Hyunjin onto the mattress. Hyunjin thrashes, but it doesn’t matter. Chan is stronger than him, pins him easily and hefts him onto the bed, depositing him on top of the crumpled duvet. Hyunjin lets his head spin, not trying too hard to make his eyes focus. Chan is so mean, and he’s so hard.
The chains tighten again; Chan is securing them at the edges of the bed so he can work with his hands. They’re both still fully dressed—white suits, cut and restyled. It’s a little strange—Chan usually ensures they’re both naked before tethering Hyunjin anywhere—but Hyunjin has to admit that today has been strange all over.
The moon shines clearly through the window. It is still close to the horizon, so it appears orange, almost red. It bathes the room in an eerie sort of glow, warm and cold at the same time. Like firelight encased in ice.
Like love persisting between two dead things.
Chan stands above him on the bed, letting him writhe in vain. Hyunjin is strong, but Chan is stronger, and Chan made these chains. They will not break.
“Please.” The word is out before Hyunjin can even think to stop it. “Let me go.”
A wicked sort of smile spreads across Chan’s lips. He is beautiful and frightening, and Hyunjin drinks it in. “Is that what you really want from me?” Chan asks. Hyunjin hesitates. “I thought not. Try again.”
Hyunjin bites back a whine. He’s so frustrated, but he also feels like he’s swimming in lust. He grits his teeth. “Come here, then,” he finally pleads. “You’ve been so far away from me all day.”
“And whose fault is that?” But Chan crouches down, stretching one hand towards the bed, between Hyunjin’s thighs, to steady himself.
“Mine and yours,” Hyunjin says pointedly. Chan just smiles wider still. Hyunjin can see his canines, sharp and white. “Come closer.” He tries to gesture with his head to the space on the bed beside him, but the chain around his neck is tight. He only manages a slight jerk before he’s pulled to an abrupt halt. It doesn’t help the ache between his legs.
“Where?” Chan’s tone is neutral, almost bored.
Hyunjin only uses honorifics now when he wants something from Chan. “Here, hyung,” he says, trying to gesture again. And here and here and here.
“Hm.” Chan drops to his knees fluidly. The hand on the bed creeps higher until it brushes against Hyunjin’s cock. “What about here?”
Hyunjin rolls his hips up into Chan’s touch, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over him when Chan doesn’t take his hand away, when he closes tighter around him instead. “Yes, please.”
Chan strokes him through his pants, letting Hyunjin hump against the heel of his palm. The lust clouds Hyunjin’s mind. All the other things melt away. So what if Hyunjin is going mad, and Chan along with him? So what if Hyunjin remembers little, as long as he remembers this? He doesn’t stop to wonder why Chan is being so giving, why he isn’t trying to drag it out like he always likes to. It feels good and Hyunjin lets his eyes flutter shut, moaning softly when Chan’s thumb finds his slit.
He feels his orgasm building quickly. He’s tense, arching off the bed, chasing after Chan’s touch even though he hasn’t moved his hand. He supposes it’s been building all day, since the first heady rush of adrenaline hit him, when he realized Chan had picked up the chase.
“Close?” Chan asks. He almost sounds sympathetic. The static in Hyunjin’s head only grows louder; he nods wordlessly, straining. He’s so close, so close—
And then Chan pulls away, and Hyunjin is left to shake and gasp in his hubris. Of course Chan wouldn’t be so nice, of course there’s a catch, because there always is, and Hyunjin should know better by now. Faintly, as the ringing in his ears subsides, he realizes Chan is laughing.
“Please,” Hyunjin stutters. “You’re terrible to me.”
“And you’re terribly impatient,” Chan replies smoothly, running a light touch down his left leg. “You’ve made me wait all day. Now it’s your turn.”
Hyunjin wants to argue, but Chan’s hands find the clasp on his pants, and he decides against it.
He’s come down somewhat, but he’s still quite sensitive when Chan wraps a hand around his cock, pulling it out of his underwear, coaxing the waistband aside with his other hand. He tugs against the chains, forgetting for a second that they’re there. He wants Chan to touch him, but not like this, not when he’s not going to get anything out of it.
It’s a shame that Hyunjin is such a pretty crier, really. That’s how most of this started. Chan likes to see him cry, and he likes to tell Hyunjin no. And the worst part is that’s all Hyunjin wants, too.
Chan strokes Hyunjin slowly, watching for the hitch in his breath, the way the line of his neck will go taut. Hyunjin knows all his own tells because of all the time Chan spent teaching them to him. But knowing isn’t the same thing as controlling, so he can’t do anything except watch as he gives himself away, and Chan lets him go at the last second, once again.
Hyunjin clenches his jaw, fighting blindly against his restraints. Somewhere, he registers that the less he fights, the sooner they come off—when Chan senses he no longer needs them. But it’s a very small and dim part of him; the rest rails fruitlessly against the chains, twisting up the duvet in the process.
Eventually, the terrible, strung-out feeling ebbs enough that he feels he can breathe again, and he settles down. It’s not that he needs to breathe, but the rhythm of it is nice, and it’s always a comfort when something else is wrong.
Tears sting at his eyes, but not insistently enough yet that Hyunjin can’t will them away. He feels punched out and weak. Chan is still watching him, placid, sitting back on his heels, hands folded in his lap. His discipline is infuriating.
“We’re only just beginning,” Chan says mildly. “Don’t wear yourself out.”
“Please,” Hyunjin says again. He doesn’t know what else to say—really, he knows there isn’t anything else to say. Nothing he says or does will change Chan’s mind about whatever he has planned. “Let me come, please, and I promise I can do it again.”
“I know you can,” Chan says, still maddeningly calm, responses automatic and perfect. “And you will. But only after I’ve finished having fun.”
Hyunjin groans, dropping his head back, staring up at the ceiling. Chan shifts below him, and then Hyunjin feels his tongue against the head of his cock, and he can’t suppress the reedy whine that expels itself from his lungs. Chan takes him into his mouth, all the way down, and Hyunjin balls his hands into fists, trying to remain still, trying not to react so that Chan won’t be able to pull off in time and he’ll finally get to come.
Unsurprisingly, he is entirely unsuccessful. Just as that delicious pressure is beginning to build, Chan sits back, releasing Hyunjin’s cock with a soft pop. Hyunjin screams this time, raw and angry.
“Does it hurt?” Chan asks sweetly.
Hyunjin wrenches his head up so he can look his tormentor in the eye. “Fuck you,” he snarls, his voice partially choked away by the chain. “Fuck you.”
“Do you want me to stop?” It’s mostly lip service, but there is a certain degree of earnestness in Chan’s eyes.
“No,” Hyunjin grumbles, nearly growls, low in his chest and forced out through bared teeth.
“You know I’ll give you what you want eventually,” Chan says, though right now Hyunjin has a very hard time believing him. “You just have to work for it, that’s all.”
Hyunjin lets another fuck you bubble up in his chest. He doesn’t get to say it, though, because Chan’s mouth is on his cock again, and everything else immediately escapes him.
This time Chan brings him much closer to coming, so close that Hyunjin really thinks, for just a moment, that he’s going to just let him do it, but Chan releases him before it can happen, and Hyunjin convulses, orgasm ripped away yet again.
The anger has been shocked out of him, and it’s been replaced by a heavy despair. Tears well in Hyunjin’s eyes again, and this time he just lets them collect. They’ll spill over when they’re ready.
Chan doesn’t give him much time to recover. He wraps a hand around the base of Hyunjin’s cock and suckles on the tip. Hyunjin watches through half-lidded eyes. Chan has such pretty lips. He has such a handsome face overall, really, enchanting and haunting.
Chan flicks his eyes up and catches Hyunjin looking. The cold, dead-set focus that Hyunjin sees there shocks a gasp out of him. He arches up into Chan’s mouth, head lolling back. He twists his neck; the chain that’s been holding his head in place retreats, and he presses his face into the pillow. He’s close, so close; he could come, if Chan would just—
All his touches vanish, and Hyunjin looks disappointment straight in the face for the fifth time that night. His eyes roll back in his head; though it feels awful, it also feels good. Hyunjin thinks maybe he wouldn’t mind feeling like this forever, and he moans, letting his body float back down towards the bed, lifting his head as he turns to look at Chan.
He registers something wet against his cheek, and realizes he’s begun to cry. He’s not sobbing; his breathing has hardly picked up to accommodate it. It’s just that the tears will not stop.
“That’s better,” Chan says softly. “There’s the Hyunjin I know.”
Hyunjin is reminded of the feeling of the venom taking over his body. Each one of his cells feels like it is on high alert. The reminder of the fear is there, lurking just on the outskirts of his mind. Pacing.
“Chan,” he whimpers.
Chan only hums in response, reaching out for Hyunjin’s cock again. He runs a singular finger up its length, and Hyunjin dissolves into a fresh wave of tears. He moans softly with each breath, though, almost involuntarily. The fear has subsided somewhat. He’s safe. Of course he’s safe.
Chan lets him settle, then strokes him with three fingers—thumb on one side, index and middle on the other—slow and gentle. Hyunjin sighs out soft noises of pleasure. He rolls his hip up to meet Chan’s hand. For a few moments, everything is quiet and calm.
But then the pressure is building again, and he knows Chan can feel it too. He speeds up, and Hyunjin relishes it even though he knows it just means he’ll come crashing down even faster.
As all of Hyunjin’s muscles tense, Chan slows again. “No,” Hyunjin protests softly. “No, no, no, please—“
Chan takes his hand away and Hyunjin wails at the loss. There’s a hungry pit at the bottom of his belly, gaping wide, and it hurts, but still, Hyunjin wants more.
Chan seems to have other plans, though. He seems to know that Hyunjin’s limbs have stopped obeying him because the chains are gone. Hyunjin doesn’t think to move. He lets Chan manhandle him, lifting him up and turning him side to side to undress him. He waits for Chan to discard his own clothes as well, sprawled limp on the bed.
Chan returns to him, and Hyunjin lets his eyes rove over the body he knows so well. His broad shoulders ripple as he moves; Hyunjin quickly snaps his gaze to Chan’s strong pecs and sturdy core, then down to his cock where it hangs hard and heavy between his legs.
Chan has found lube somewhere when Hyunjin wasn’t paying attention. It’s not strictly necessary—Hyunjin won’t be hurt if they don’t use it—but it will certainly make things easier, and speed up the entire process.
Chan presses a slick finger into Hyunjin, only giving him a few shallow thrusts before adding another. Hyunjin opens up for him easily, and soon Chan is pumping four fingers in and out.
Hyunjin could come like this, soon, and Chan knows. He gives it another minute, until Hyunjin is panting and clenching down around him, and then pulls out, watching in satisfaction as Hyunjin writhes and drools and cries.
“Fuck,” Hyunjin finds himself mumbling. “Oh fuck, please, please just fuck me.”
“Still so impatient,” Chan says, but he lines himself up all the same. “We have forever,” he reminds Hyunjin.
“Don’t care,” Hyunjin breathes out. This is a lie, technically—the fact that they have forever is the only thing stopping him from climbing on top of Chan right now and riding him until they’re both completely spent and thoroughly exhausted. Chan has no idea what impatience looks like. “Fuck me.”
Chan pushes into him and Hyunjin opens his mouth in a silent scream. Chan leans over him as he bottoms out until he’s close enough, and then kisses into his mouth, tongue running along the backs of Hyunjin’s upper teeth. Hyunjin realizes now that this is the first time they’ve kissed all day.
He kisses back as best he can, but there are stars in his eyes. He jerks violently when he feels Chan’s hand on his cock, trying to bite down even though he’s still being kissed, wet and messy.
“Want to come?” Chan asks between kisses.
“Yes,” Hyunjin pleads breathily. “Yes, please, please—”
He takes Chan’s silence as permission. In any case, as Hyunjin moans and squirms beneath him, Chan doesn’t stop. Hyunjin spills over his hand, across both of their stomachs, and Chan doesn’t stop.
It feels euphoric. Hyunjin lets the orgasm consume him, twitching as the pleasure scatters out across his body in sweet bursts, eyes rolled back in his skull. He can feel it everywhere; in his toes, in his teeth. Faintly, he registers his own voice, hoarse from overuse, chanting thank-yous as he comes back down.
But still Chan doesn’t stop, and now Hyunjin remembers the other edge to this sword—now that Hyunjin has come, Chan won’t let him stop until he’s satisfied and Hyunjin is nothing but a shell. Chan thrusts into him, hard and deep, and Hyunjin wishes he could enjoy it. But now he can only shake, Chan’s cruel fingers still wrapped tight around Hyunjin’s cock, slick with his release.
Hyunjin chokes on nothing. Everything hurts, and the fear is back, crowding out everything else. His throat feels raw, and he realizes it’s because he’s screaming.
Chan brings a hand to Hyunjin’s neck, squeezing around where the column of his throat meets his jaw. Hyunjin’s eyes dart around the room until he finds Chan’s waiting for him.
“Just me,” Chan says lowly. “The worst is behind you, darling. The next-worst is so far yet to come. Now, it’s just me. It is just me, and I will never hurt you.”
“Hurts,” Hyunjin whimpers, but the haze of fear is receding.
“You can do it.” Not an encouragement. An expectation. A demand. It gives Hyunjin something else to focus on. “It hurts, but not like that. Nothing will ever hurt like that, as long as you’re with me.”
Hyunjin knows it’s true. “Safe with you,” he slurs, and satisfaction and triumph war on Chan’s face.
Chan keeps his hand there on Hyunjin’s throat. Hyunjin holds it tight when Chan continues his thrusting, faster now that Hyunjin has relaxed. The solid weight of Chan’s cock inside him distracts him from the shocks of oversensitivity, and though Hyunjin is already exhausted and his body already aching, he feels himself begin to harden again in Chan’s palm.
Hyunjin’s body is no longer his own; he has no command over it now. It’s Chan’s. Chan twists his wrist and Hyunjin’s legs spasm; he pushes in deep and grinds into him, and a string of nonsense, praise and pleas and prayers all muddled together, spill across Hyunjin’s lips. Maybe Hyunjin’s body has always been Chan’s from the start, not just in these moments; maybe everything Hyunjin has belongs to him. Maybe he wants it to be true. He is Chan’s, and Chan is his. His Chan, his savior, his love. He doesn’t need to know anything else.
He watches Chan reverently, though his eyelids are heavy and his vision swims. Chan’s pretty lips are curled in concentration, his eyes dark, body taut, all firm muscle and shadow. Hyunjin reaches out to him with the hand that isn’t clinging to Chan’s wrist, and Chan dips close. Hyunjin’s fingers shake as he splays them across his cheek. He runs his thumb over Chan’s mouth, and Chan lets his eyes close.
“Chan,” Hyunjin whispers, barely audible. He can’t feel anything except the heavy fog in his head and the insistent pulse of desire in his cock. And Chan’s skin under his fingertips, beautiful and smooth like marble.
Chan leans into his touch and Hyunjin feels tears threaten again, so grateful for him, for his love; grateful that he hasn’t given up on him yet after so many years. His lips graze Hyunjin’s palm and his fingers drag over Hyunjin’s cock and Hyunjin is coming, dizzy and nearly out of his mind with pleasure, even though it hurts—maybe because it hurts. Chan doesn’t take his hand off Hyunjin’s cock, doesn’t move away, doesn’t stop choking him, doesn’t stop the steady rock of his hips.
More tears, and this time Hyunjin does sob. It comes out small and garbled because of the hand around his throat, and when Hyunjin looks at Chan, he finds him looking back, hungry. The image of him is blurry, but he feels Chan’s lips still on his hand. He can feel them moving, but he can’t hear anything at first.
“Good,” he finally makes out. “Perfect.”
Hyunjin sobs again, pressing up against the tight hold Chan has on his throat. “Love you,” he croaks out. “I love you.”
“Love you, too,” Chan replies immediately. Hyunjin can feel the shape of the words on his palm.
Hyunjin is beyond overstimulated. He feels like he’s been plunged into an ice bath and then moved to burn in a roaring fire and then back to the ice once again. The arm he has raised is shaking. Chan must notice, because he gets close so Hyunjin can rest his elbow on the mattress beside him. Or maybe he just comes close so he can kiss him. Hyunjin has no complaints either way. He lets his hand slip into Chan’s hair and his tongue slip into Chan’s mouth.
Chan moans quietly at first, then longer and louder as the minutes stretch on. Hyunjin notes faintly that he’s still crying, but he can’t bring himself to care. He pets Chan’s hair, soothing him between kisses, begging him to come.
His coaxing seems to be working; Chan is thrusting into him faster and faster, and his hand is flying over Hyunjin’s cock at the same pace. His moans have turned to something darker, more guttural, and they echo in Hyunjin’s ears and rattle around his skull.
Chan releases his throat and Hyunjin wheezes. He separates their lips, nosing down under Hyunjin’s jaw, pressing his tongue flat to the skin there. Hyunjin uses his hand to move Chan down his neck—here, hyung, and here and here and here—until he’s right over the scar on Hyunjin’s neck, where he was bitten. All of it is too much, and Hyunjin is coming for a third time, shivering as he feels it hit his stomach, his chest.
Chan stills not seconds later, teeth digging into the scar tissue. Hyunjin feels him pulsing inside of him and he sighs in contentment, tightening his grip on Chan’s hair.
They rest like that for a moment. Hyunjin can barely feel his limbs. His eyelashes cling to each other, sticky with tears. The moon is high in the sky now, bright white light shining down onto their bed. Chan’s back ripples as he finally pushes himself up. He pulls out of Hyunjin in the process, and Hyunjin feels his come dribble out of his hole a few seconds later.
Chan is tugging Hyunjin up with him. Hyunjin goes reluctantly, head lolling to one side when there is nothing to support it. “Chan,” he mumbles. Chan brings him closer, until they’re chest to chest. He uses his hands to guide Hyunjin up, folding his knees. He hooks Hyunjin’s chin over his shoulder, and when Hyunjin opens his eyes again, he finds himself facing his reflection in the mirror that’s mounted on the opposite wall.
His face is streaked with tears, his hair messy, his lips kiss-bitten and bruised. He looks like a wreck. He moans without thinking about it.
Chan’s big hands are on his back, Hyunjin’s arms draped weakly over his biceps. Chan turns his head to press a kiss to Hyunjin’s hair. “Almost done,” he says, so sweet and soft that Hyunjin finds himself nodding along until he realizes what that means.
“No, no—” But it’s too late. Chan’s got a hand around his cock, and it hurts, hurts all over. Hyunjin squeezes his eyes shut, curling forward, trying to get away from the feeling, but Chan’s hand just follows him. He digs his forehead into Chan’s shoulder, jaw dropped open so far he thinks if he was human, he would have already dislocated it. That hurts too, and he cries out with every one of Chan’s movements.
“Stop that,” Chan says quietly. “Watch in the mirror.”
It’s a gentle command, but a command all the same. Hyunjin keens in distress, but he raises his head, blinking his eyes open. “Chan,” he complains, his voice small and broken.
“Just one more,” Chan promises. “You can do one more.”
“No,” Hyunjin slurs, shaking his head insistently while his body betrays him, his cock stiffening once again in Chan’s hand. “I can’t, I can’t.”
Chan rocks him slightly, pressing his lips to Hyunjin’s shoulder. “Yes, you can.”
Chan works him slow and gentle. Hyunjin rests his cheek on his shoulder and watches in the mirror, watches his own eyes fill with tears again and spill over, watches how his face, which began contorted in pain, shifts into an expression of heady bliss. It still hurts—hurts worse than anything Chan has done to him in years, he thinks—but the pain bleeds into pleasure until he can’t tell the difference.
It builds and builds and builds, Hyunjin complaining and struggling the whole way, but he does as he’s told, and keeps his eyes glued to his reflection, even as his vision slips and slides until he’s not sure which part of what he sees is real. There’s a period where it feels fucking horrible, really, and at times Hyunjin’s pretty sure that even though he is immortal, he’s about to die.
But then the familiar pressure grows heavy in his stomach. He doesn’t have the presence of mind to warn Chan beforehand, just lets a tiny whimper escape his lungs, and then he spills a few drops of come over Chan’s knuckles. He closes his eyes in relief, collapsing against Chan, and Chan catches him, murmuring praise in his ear.
Chan lays him back down, and then stretches out beside him. They’ll clean up later; now, Hyunjin rolls toward Chan’s open arms, resting his temple on his shoulder. His body aches like he’s been in a fight and barely escaped with his life. He offers him a kiss—here, hyung, and here and here and here—and Chan accepts it. Hyunjin thinks he could sink right through the mattress, his love is so heavy in his chest.
Chan scoots back just a centimeter, then ducks his head down, closing his lip over the scar on Hyunjin’s neck, over the place where Hyunjin was damned to this life years and years ago. Hyunjin finds Chan’s wrist and pets over the scar there, humming. They stay like that until the moon dips below the tree line. The sky has turned from a deep black to an expectant sort of navy blue.
Like he often does these days, Hyunjin toys with the idea of suicide as he waits for the night to end. They’re safe inside, of course—each of their windows is reinforced with UV protection on the glass. But he would need only to walk outside after the sun rose and wait for death to take him. A half hour at most, if he went at noon on a cloudless day. The thought is comforting, but he would never do it without Chan. He could never leave Chan alone. And he doesn’t wish to bring it up quite yet, so he banishes the thought from his mind. It might be for the best to do it—Hyunjin only has fragments of who he was left over, and he loses more and more every day. But, like with everything else, he is too weak to do what is right.
The sun is on the rise now; Hyunjin can see the red tinge of it on the horizon. Outside, the birds have awoken and begun to sing. Hyunjin thinks of the long day ahead of them; he thinks about how the years slip by so quickly, blurring into one another, yet each day feels like a lifetime. Chan shifts beside him, detaching from his neck, pulling him closer and knocking their foreheads together. It’s alright, Hyunjin thinks. At least I have Chan. It would be unbearable without him.
Outside, the world rages on, Hyunjin is sure. He’ll never venture out to check. Why should he? In this house, things are good and quiet. Hyunjin’s fingers are still on Chan’s wrist, right where his pulse should be. But there’s nothing, just silence.
“Chan,” Hyunjin says softly. “You will stay here with me, right?” The grief comes again, strange and unwanted, with the echo of once-known laughter and a voice Hyunjin wishes he could recognize. And then it all disappears, swift and fleeting. Hyunjin can’t get a grasp of it, and so lets it go. “You will stay?” he asks.
Chan, like always, replies, “Yes, I will stay.” He presses closer still. “I will stay here with you. I love you. You love me, don’t you?”
It’s a silly question, but Hyunjin doesn’t say so. He can’t; he feels drawn into some kind of trance, too content to think properly. “Yes,” he says. His voice sounds far away. “I love you. I have always loved you. I will love you forever.” Chan makes a noise of want in the back of his throat. I will, Hyunjin thinks, even when war comes, and famine and disease; even when all the living things begin to die, even when time devastates the earth. “You will stay here in this house with me, even as it comes down around us,” he says, “and we will be in love. Forever.”
Chan nods along. “And we will never leave,” he whispers. Hyunjin can feel Chan’s breath on his neck.
Hyunjin sighs, maybe not happily, but at least in satisfaction, to know his fate. “And we will never leave,” he repeats, quiet so he’s sure Chan is the only one who hears him.
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What are your thoughts on SeungJin threesome? - ⭐
why thank you for asking! i’m currently writing a seungjin fic already but there’s a specific scenario that didn’t make it in and that’s ... y/n & hyunjin giving seungmin head at the same time :D nsfw under the cut!
also this ask was from like ... literally months ago but it’s been sitting in my drafts for forever and now that i’m back i figured i might as well share? yuh
ok so i like to think it goes smth like this: you’re bffies with hyunjin and seungmin and one day, you walk in on hyunjin ... sucking seungmin off lmao
and you’re like super flustered bc (1) they’re your besties!, (2) you didn’t know they hooked up! and (3) maybe you have a fat crush on both of them
when you open the door, you expected to see hyunjin and seungmin bickering over snacks, maybe already watching the movie, maybe distracted with some games on their phone, maybe even cuddling— anything but this. when you open the door, the last thing you expected to see was hyunjin on his knees, mouth full of seungmin’s cock, the former with his head thrown back in pleasure.
hyunjin doesn’t notice at first but seungmin definitely does and he’s a little embarrassed but more than anything the idea of you watching is for some reason extremely hot. like the second he sees you standing there, wearing hyunjin’s hoodie with that surprised look on your face, he nearly cums.
seungmin’s hand is already in hyunjin’s hair and he yanks him off, inciting a low growl from the older boy. he tilts hyunjjin’s face so he can see you standing at the door. hyunjin’s mouth is so so red and there’s some drool on his pink cheeks.
“y-y/n?” hyunjin’s voice comes out raspy and the way he says your name makes your insides ache
“sorry!” you exclaim, “i-i can come back later! i didn’t know— i mean—”
“y/n,” but it’s seungmin this time. he tilts his head in the cutest way but his words are filthy. “you’re turned on aren’t you?”
you feel your face heat up, shaking your head quickly.
“really?” he says, smiling lazily. hyunjin is resting his cheek on seungmin’s thigh eyes piercing into yours. you can’t decide which one of them is easier to look at.
“so you don’t want to be here right now?” seungmin asks, “you don’t wanna see hyunjinnie suck me off?”
you’re unable to respond this time, hands balled into fists. your eyes squeeze shut as you rack your brain for a plausible answer to seungmin's question
"ah, they do!" hyunjin exclaims, "aw how cute. come on y/n, it'll be fun."
seungmin raises an eye brow at you. "they're a baby. maybe they're scared."
you pout, "i'm not scared!"
hyunjin smiles, patting the spot next to seungmin on the bed. "come here and prove it then."
you pause, trying to mentally talk yourself out of it before finally giving in. you close the door, carefully sitting down next to seungmin. you fiddle with your fingers, glancing down to see hyunjin grinning up at you. no, you decide. it's a lot easier to look at minnie right now. but the second you turn to look at him, you realize that’s not quite right either. seungmin’s face is oddly calm, staring at your mouth instead of looking into your eyes.
“can i kiss you?” he asks.
you realize you’re holding your breath and are unable to speak. you nod.
seungmin’s press against your mouth is soft, his fingers tangling with yours over the comforter. your head spins; how many times had you imagined this? how was his lips so perfect over yours?
but the kiss doesn’t remain pleasant for long. within minutes, seungmin is groaning against your mouth, drawing away suddenly to tug at hyunjin’s hair. the younger boy pulls off of seungmin’s cock, an obscene line of spit connecting his tip to hyunjin’s bruised lips.
“be patient,” seungmin demands, his voice hardening as he addresses hyunjin.
to your surprise, hyunjin only grins up at the two of you through his wet eyelashes. “i was starting to feel left out. didn’t want you to forget i was here.”
hyunjin’s bedroom voice is deadly sultry, inciting a dangerous flame in your core. without realizing it, your press your legs together. even if you don’t notice it, seungmin sure does and he pulls you closer to him, to the both of them.
“what do you think baby? should we give hyunjinnie some attention too?”
the pet name rolls off seungmin’s tongue like he’s been calling you ‘baby’ for years and his eyes are dark as he pulls your hand to his cock.
“i-i dunno,” you mumble shyly, sighing in relief when seungmin moves his hand to pull your face closer to him. you rest your cheek on his shoulder, unable to meet his eyes, staring down at hyunjin instead. hyunjin, in turn, pouts at you, batting his eyelashes innocently. there’s no escape between the two of them.
“c’mon y/n,” hyunjin urges, wrapping his large hands around your smaller ones. he guides your fingers up and down seungmin’s cock and you feel the older boy’s entire body tense. his cock is an angry shade of red. you wonder quietly how long hyunjin had been torturing him beforehand. “don’t you wanna make minnie feel good, hm?”
“y-yes!” you squeak, voice cracking when you feel seungmin’s fingers tangle in your hair.
“then baby, keep moving your hand like this, okay?” hyunjin’s next words are directed at the both of you, “i’ll take care of the rest.”
hyunjin’s hot mouth sinks down around seungmin’s cock again. he hallows his cheeks, not once breaking eye contact with you, moving up and down obscenely slow. he sucks your thumb into his mouth too as he goes down, making sure to leave your fingers wet and scrape his teeth along your skin.
your turn to look at seungmin, who’s staring down at hyunjin sweetly, running his fingers over the other boy’s delicate cheeks.
“d-do you feel good, seungmin?” you manage to ask, somehow breathless despite doing the absolute bare minimum.
seungmin hisses as hyunjin’s nose presses against your fingers and he makes a lewd gagging noise.
“f-fuck it feels so good,” seungmin’s fingers are tight around your hair and you quietly wonder how good it must feel for hyunjin, who has seungmin’s pretty fingers tugging him up and down on his cock at this point. oddly enough, you feel your chest tighten in envy.
you swallow your anxiety and quickly sink down onto your knees, one hand pushing seungmin’s thighs open even further, the other nervously tugging at hyunjin’s shirtsleeve.
the two boys stare at you in a mix of shock and fascination and you find your head spinning under their heavy gazes.
“i-is this okay?” you ask, pulse steadying when you feel hyunjin’s hand run down your back. “c-can i suck seungminnie off too?”
seungmin’s fingers run across your head, making your scalp tingle in excitement. before you can help it, you lean into his touch, pushing your mouth up against his cock and pressing your cheek next to hyunjin’s.
seungmin grins at how easily you submit to him, his smile oh so sweet but his eyes gleaming with something darker.
“so pretty,” he mumbles, gripping your hair even tighter.
you can feel hyunjin pull away and suddenly, there’s another large hand, his one cupping your jaw, nudging your mouth down onto the drooling cock in front of you.
“come on angel, minnie is so close, don’t you want to taste him?”
hyunjin’s words push you over the edge and you decide then and there that this is okay– you’re falling and falling and falling, but you know you can trust seungmin and hyunjin to catch you anyways.
you mindlessly let seungmin shove your head down his length, swearing impossibly loud as the walls of your throat contract around him. you hold yourself there, finally mustering up the courage to look up at seungmin. his eyes are hard and his cheeks are red and he looks so beautifully blissed out it makes every nerve on your body tingle.
you swallow experimentally and seungmin twitches in your mouth, other hand leaving hyunjin to tangle in your hair.
“fuck, y/n you look so good right now,” seungmin says.
you hum around his cock, hoping he’ll understand just by reading your eyes, but the younger boy is seemingly clueless, simply staring down at you. his eyes are so intense that it makes you almost embarrassed.
“minnie,” hyunjin says, “i think they want you to be rough with them.”
to prove his point, hyunjin’s lithe fingers squeeze around your throat gently, and you groan around seungmin’s cock, inhaling deeply through your nose. the lack of air makes you dizzy, but you can’t look away from seungmin.
“fuck, jin,” seungmin groans, “can feel it when you do that.”
“oh y/n liked it too, didn’t you?”
you try your best to nod.
“yeah?” seungmin’s voice is terribly condescending, making your instinctively open your mouth even wider. “you want me to use your mouth?”
you hum eagerly and that’s the only indication he needs before gripping your hair tightly and doing as he’s asked.
seungmin starts off slowly, guiding your head up and down his cock. it’s sloppy, and you can taste hyunjin’s tongue on his skin. the idea of it makes your insides burn and you press your thighs together, which doesn’t go unnoticed by hyunjin. he casually slips a hand to caress your bare thighs.
“hm they like it a lot minnie,” hyunjin remarks. his voice is raspy in the most delicious way possible. “are you gonna cum?”
seungmin’s grip on your hair burns but you let him drag your mouth up and down his twitching cock anyways, losing yourself in the way he mumbles short praises as you feel him against the back of your throat. seungmin suddenly pulls you off and almost immediately, you try to take him into your mouth again.
he grips your face between his long fingers and tilts your head up to face him.
“tsk you shouldn’t have done that baby,” seungmin’s voice is so assertive that the spark of rebellion in you is washed away instantly.
“so impatient baby,” hyunjin glances at you, his smile lazy as he grips the base of seungmin’s cock. “you want seungminnie to cum now?”
your head is dizzy with the idea of it. your tangle your fingers with seungmin’s as you whine shyly.
“let’s make him cum then.”
hyunjin guides your mouth to seungmin’s head, but his tight grip on your neck doesn’t allow you to take him fully into your mouth. hyunjin leans close to lick over your lips before sending you a sweet wink and licking down seungmin’s long cock. the sight spurs you on, and you lap at the head, focusing your tongue on the slit as much as possible. seungmin’s voice is shaky, and by the way his hips keep rising off the bed, you can tell he’s close.
“ah fuck,” seungmin’s voice is lower than you’ve ever heard it as his other hand grips hyunjin’s shoulder. “i’m close, shit.”
you join hyunjin in running your mouth up and down all over the sides of seungmin’s cock, fondling his heavy balls in your hands, blinking up at him with a silent beg for his cum. but what sends seungmin over the edge is when you and hyunjin both meet at the head and begin kissing right over his cock. it’s messy and sticky and more tongue than lips but you can hardly care when suddenly the taste of warm, salty cum enters the kiss.
“you guys look so hot right now,” seungmin groans as he watches the two of you continue to make out around his cock. “fuck ‘m sensitive stop.”
hyunjin pulls away first, grinning at you before running a thumb over your mouth, making you whine.
“what’s wrong baby?”
“wanted minnie to c-cum ...” you pause, too embarrassed to say it out loud.
“what, down your throat?” hyunjin asks, his voice teasing.
you bury your face into seungmin’s thigh, nodding.
“hm, well,” seungmin pulls you up off the floor and lays you down onto the bed. “there’s still hyunjin.”
142 notes · View notes
Can I get soft Dom! Drabble but like a group thing for stray kids? If not can you do one of changbin or hyunjin please!
warnings: lingerie kink, oral (giving and receiving), corruption kink, marking, possessiveness, size kink, hair pulling, body worship, face sitting, pet names like baby, babe, and puppy, cockwarming.
this man reeks soft!dom energy oh lord-
so sweet so soft
is the type to stop fucking you just to press lingering kisses to your lips, telling you how much he loves you afterwards
which is totally not because this man was about to bust his load. nope. totally not.
holds your hand most of the time if he can, thus why he prefers missionary most of the time
wants to make you cum as many times as you want, just as long as you ask first
and stops whenever you say it's too much!!
will even handle it himself if you've tapped out and he still hasn't came yet
(which never happens because c'mon his dick looks to good to not suck dry)
BIG sucker for lingerie
especially if it's white. makes you look like a pretty innocent angel because, even though he's a softie, chan still has a PHAT corruption kink
"you're so beautiful baby, why don't i make you feel good."
listen i'm all for brat tamer!minho but-
soft dom!minho for the fucking win.
yes he's a little bitch but he loves you and he shows it the most through actions AKA sex
isn't the biggest talker during sex, only letting out pretty high pitched moans and breathy groans against your throat, but he'll let out little praises peppered into your throat every now and then
"feels so good baby."
"such a good girl/boy for me."
"so pretty, such a pretty little thing."
hates when he leaves marks that aren't love bites
treats you very gently, soft caresses' and loving squeezes
also really likes missionary, with the occasional spooning whenever you're both tired
speaking of tired: sleepy sex is very common with the two of you
he gets home late from dance practice a lot of the times so you've gotten into the habit of not wearing underwear to bed to make things easier
and when everything is said in done, he presses a sweet kiss to your lips and tells you he loves you before diving into your neck, giggling
oh god don't get me started
he's SO clingy it's insane
the type to have you on top and hug you close to his body, thrusting up into you at a steady pace
snakes a hand down there and rubs your clit/jacks you off because stimulation important
very into marking your pretty neck up
can be. possessive. as SHIT
also is a big advocator of thigh riding have you seen this mans thighs sHEEH
big on praising you, very vocal on how much he loves you and how well you're doing
"that's it, ride my thigh just like that."
"you're doing so good, gonna fuck you so good later."
also if you praise him. he might cream your insides right then and there.
IT'S HIS WEAK SPOT OK-
size kink size kink size kink
but like. in the softest way possible.
loves watching you ride him for this very reason, because then he gets to see the little bulge in your tummy whenever you go back down
also finds it adorable how small you are compared to him (even though he isn't that tall that boy just long)
loves it when you grab onto his hair when he's buried his face in your throat. feels anchoring whenever he's lost in pleasure
bonus points if you pull on it a little bit. gets the tingles when you do that.
is also the type to treat you Very Gently
this man knows he's strong as shit, he doesn't wanna break you too
only your back is to be broken in this mans book
lovingly of course. lovingly.
also has the prettiest moans??? you'll ever hear????
and is LOUD about it too, he ain't shy or embarrassed
"love you, love you so much."
"look at you baby, taking me so well in that little body of yours."
"i'm so close, cum with me?"
very much into light hearted sex with the occasional serious moments
gets very nervous the poor boy so he cracks a few jokes to lighten the mood
"why did the chicken cross the road?"
"jisung i swear to god if the answer doesn't involve fucking me i don't care."
he means well i promise!!
once he gets more comfortable, with you and sex in general, becomes a lot less high strung and easy going
still makes lame jokes though
high key ruins the mood but also high key has you dying of laughter
but when things aren't light hearted, jisung takes sex very seriously
is the type to call it lovemaking the fucking NERD (lovingly)
is also the type to make a whole ass playlist
most of the songs are actually very. soft??????
like instead of the weeknd (chan.), there'd be hozier which is just. ow. OW
jisung listening to hozier in general hurts me why did i do this to myself
very big on protected sex but if you asked to do it raw. he wouldn't be opposed career be damned.
"i've always wanted to see you stuffed full of my seed babe."
big fan of giving oral
could live in between your thighs for hours
pouts and whines when you push him away but brightens up when you pull him up for a kiss
also a big fan of you sitting on his face because DUH
wants to be smothered. begs to be smothered.
literally praises you while he's underneath you whenever he can
just finds you so beautiful in that position and wants to let you know
loves the spooning position
likes to hold the inside of your thigh and hike it up so he can enter you deeper, pressing open mouthed kisses to your throat until most of your neck isn't dark purples and blues
deep groans and pants are very common from felix
has a hard time keeping a level head when he's fucking you so dirty talk doesn't happen often but oh when it happens it Happens
"you gonna cum around my cock baby? gonna cream around me?"
post-sex felix is the clingiest fucker ever he does Not let you go
and if you try to pull away he just whines and cuddles up closer, kissing more and more kisses to your sweaty shoulder
oh my GOD such a soft baby
treats you so gently its unreal
BIG into body worship
literally kisses every inch of your body, whispering all the things he loves about you until your damn near in tears
also calls sex lovemaking
"c'mere baby, i want to make love to you tonight."
such a gentleman oh LORDT
always asks if you like what's happening at the moment, if you're comfortable, if you want to do something else, etc.
would never admit it but loves when you suck him off
he never brings it up because he likes keeping the focus on you
but you figure it out quickly when his soul practically leaves his body when you go down on him, no warning whatsoever
also loves calling you his puppy, especially if you're in doggy style
"you feel so good puppy, i think i'm gonna cum."
this boy is full of so much love for you
but he's also another boy who's bad with words so he shows a lot of his love through actions AKA sex
cradles your face in his hands and kisses you breathless, all while your just sitting on his cock
speaking of sitting on his cock: loves cock warming
it lets him be able to touch you all over without accidentally grabbing you too hard and accidentally hurting you because he's feeling too good
likes skin to skin contact a lot, so loves feeling your naked chest against his as he runs his fingers all over your body, dick nestled deeply inside you
big soft spot for your moans and whimpers
practically begs for you to be louder he loves them so much
"c'mon baby, let me know how good i'm making you feel."
wraps his arms around you and holds you super super close like changbin, only this time he's sitting up too
a weirdly soft make out session??? tends to happen during this time???????
i don't know man, it's like he finally allows himself to be clingy when you two are having sex
get's super embarrassed afterwards of how touchy he was but immediately forgets when you kiss him
all thoughts tend to leave him when you do that
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I’m editing a story that a poly relationship with Bang Chan x f.reader and I need another boy for this story. It’s got fluff, smut and a pinch of angst. Which boy would ya’ll he interested in reading in this. I’m torn between Lee Know, Hyunjin, Changbin or Jisung.
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HARD HOURS MASTERLIST
A page for all of my hard hours asks, all links on this page contain smut and are for 18+ only
❗️ = dom idol
❕ = sub idol
Minho - Slow, teasing sex ❗️
Felix - Rough, rushed, kitchen sex ❗️
Jeongin - Shower sex ❗️
Changbin - Thigh riding ❗️
Minho - Sweet, loving denial ❗️
Minho - Gods du du du smirk/smile ❗️
Chan - Bondage ❗️
Hyunjin - Choking ❗️
Jisung - Goofy sex ❗️
Felix - Pegging ❕
Seungmin - Sounding ❕
Changbin - Good girl ❗️
Minho - Lazy four-play ❗️
Chan - Hard blow job ❗️
Jeongin - Fingering ❗️
Changbin - Fucked in place ❗️
Coming in the future...
Coming in the future...
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