003. SPRING IS FOR US — ANTHOLOGY
PAIRING. Seo Changbin x afab. reader | WORD COUNT. 2.4k & 15 minute read | SERIES PLAYLIST. | WARNINGS. cursing, eventual pregnancy, insecurity, anxiety, reader has a period, implied smut | TROPE. fluff, suggestive, angst, comfort
( ✉️ ) — absolutely crazy about him, that’s all i have to say for myself…
Spring is supposed to be a time for second chances and new life, yet when you propose the idea of starting a family there are some doubts from Changbin who isn’t confident in his abilities as a father despite how much he wants to.
Seo Changbin wants to be a dad.
He wants to be a dad so bad it nearly kills him. Hell, the mere thought has his heart exploding in his chest.
Things like this aren’t as simple as that though. They’re fickle, they’re sensitive. Eternally fragile in his fingertips while he tirelessly keeps them from breaking.
He’s willing to carry that, carry the responsibility, the weight, for the rest of his life.
He just hopes you feel the same.
.
.
.
Traditionally, spring is the time of new life and second chances, with puppies up for adoption and maternity discounts going on in every store you walk into.
Granted, the idea of having kids never really occurred to you, but it didn’t mean you hadn’t thought about it once or twice.
“How many?” You ask, a puff of air falling from your lips as you stir the stone pot, warmth seeping upwards in warm tendrils of steam. He leans in front of you, catching an unexpected, sugary kiss.
“Four, please,” Changbin responds, dishing his bowl off the table to hand to you, who carefully loads each pork-filled delicacy into the porcelain.
He’s rid of his coat, and the tight-fitted tee underneath leaves little to the imagination while gazing up at you with curious brown eyes. Adorably polite, even after all these years together.
In fact, it’s one of countless charming things about being in love with Changbin. That and the diamond resting upon your ring finger, a new addition to the household.
He smiles softly, watching you admire the gleaming jewel. Because even months later, the same childish excitement of being married still has butterflies erupting in his stomach.
Engaged was one thing, but this—now this was better than he could’ve ever imagined.
Oftentimes he wonders how he got so lucky.
“These dumplings are the best.” He mumbles, words muffled from the big bite being chewed in puffy cheeks.
The atmosphere is comfortable, leaving only the sound of your breathing and eating hummed against the air conditioner. Although, glancing around your apartment, the lingering thought from earlier striked you again.
What if, hypothetically, a little one roamed around? Your little one.
Imagining a mini Changbin made you practically squeal, unable to contain the grin stretching at your cheeks.
Your husband noticed, of course, sending you a mildly confused stare. And after a few long moments of his questioning stare and an equally questioning tip of his head, It was too difficult to keep quiet anymore.
“Binnie, what do you think about having a baby?”
There’s a silence, then he chokes, fist pounding at his chest to help swallow the bite of food lodged in his throat. That was the last question he’d expected to hear tonight.
“A.. A baby?” He stammers, sporting a look of disbelief.
It’s not like he didn’t want a kid, but this was the first time you’d ever mentioned the topic, he felt he had the right to be slightly shocked.
Observing the way your expression falters at his hesitation has every particle in his body scrambling to say something—something that would ease the crease furrowing between your brows.
He was never one to deny you of anything, and he loved the idea of settling down. Just one thing. Knowing how much of an amazing mother you would be had a pit of anxiety pooling in his gut. Questions like "would I be a good father figure?” and the fear of not being there for his child made his palms sweat, gaze hurriedly flickering left and right.
“Baby I—“
“Bin, it’s okay. I’m not saying I want to get pregnant tomorrow or anything, and besides, this is something I need your decision on too.” You ease, taking his hand in yours.
He feels himself loosen, visibly relaxing into your touch.
Changbin slowly inhales.
“I’m just worried I won’t be good enough. As a dad, as a husband.”
And to say your heart broke was an understatement.
In your opinion, Changbin was everything a father should be already. He was kind, compassionate, and effortlessly gentle despite his bulging muscles. Plus, to see him look so downcast, so concerned, had you rising to your feet and beckoning a hug.
A hug of which was definitely needed from how he simply dissolved in your arms, head tucked into your neck, taking in the scent of your shampoo—his shampoo.
“You’re everything a father should be. So don’t doubt yourself too much, okay?”
He snuggled closer (as if that was possible), and it wasn’t before his shoulders shook against you that you pulled away, met with the sight of hot tears littering his waterline.
There’s something special about it. Something special about him when it comes to you, because no one else in the entire world could witness Changbin this vulnerable, this emotional.
When with you, however, he lets his walls fall down.
You had to be a truly special person to have that trust.
Thumbing away the salty tears and kissing his trembling lips, he slips his hand against the small of your back, holding you against his chest while the other rests on your cheek, caressing the skin there.
Your dishes sit long unfinished on the table by the time you pull apart, nearly toppling over on the couch before having to stop and catch your breath.
Changbin chuckles, hair tousled and disarrayed in every direction. He softly squeezes your hip.
“Being completely honest, I might pass away from how cute you’d look y’know,” He mumbles, and you cock an unconvinced brow.
“Are you saying I don’t look cute now?” Amusement evident in your tone, you laugh when he buries his head into your chest, nearly blood-red in the face.
Crying out rather pathetically, your fingers intertwined once more, him peering up at you.
“You know what I mean..”
“Mmm, do I?”
Without response, he unexpectedly fixes his grip on the back of your thighs, lifting you up with ease to prop on the counter while you’re busy adoring his downright boba eyes.
Bantering back and forth with his lips giving your neck the utmost attention, you have to stop yourself from going any further when he begins slipping off the fabric of your bottoms, lightly pushing him away while claiming the dishes needed to be done.
And, albeit a tad bit embarrassing, the dish's excuse was more for the sake of not making a decision you’d regret. Since, Changbin, especially now that baby fever had definitely settled in, only had one thing on his mind and one thing only.
Knocking you up as soon as possible.
So, yeah, best to keep him out of the bedroom until you were both fully sensible adults and not desperately trying to get into each other's pants in the kitchen.
.. .
Changbin can’t name any sensible reason as to how or why he ended up in the baby section.
Somehow, his legs miraculously managed to lead him here, awkwardly shifting through aisles like a naughty teenager who snuck off to snoop around the lingerie section of a department store. Infatuated.
Hand trembling toward the pink cloth, he flinches back immediately, stung. Spending a few minutes debating on reaching out again, he hesitantly analyzes the onesie, taking in the soft baby blue collar lining and matching bib.
A stupidly giddy smile threatens to show, yet the momentary lightheartedness is quickly replaced with that feeling. That feeling of pooling dread that makes his stomach twist itself into knots, makes him automatically back up.
Fumbling with thoughts and the task of fishing his phone from his pocket, he instinctively calls the person he trusts the most (second to you, obviously). Chan.
Third being Han, but he knows the response would be along the lines of: “Let’s hope the baby doesn't end up with your genes.” So no, he’d rather not.
Wasting no time, his words seem to pour out like a waterfall. Messy, involuntary.
“Hey, uh, do you think I’d be a good dad?”
There’s a short pause, and then Chan’s skeptical voice sounds through the line, piquing with surprise.
“Wait– is Y/n pregnant?”
“No! I mean, no, not yet.” He corrects himself, feeling his face grow hot as a few shoppers spare looks his direction.
“Yet?”
Changbin sighs.
“Look, Chan, can I come over?”
Immediately his friend answers, voice as kind and welcoming as usual. He can visualize the normally taut demeanor softening, eyes transforming into crescent moons that disappear when he smiles. He’s always been that way.
“Yeah yeah of course, it’s just Jisung and I here anyway.”
Almost as soon as the call ends he’s already halfway out the door, keys jingling in hand and more than happy to be away from his mind’s forsaken hellscape (a.k.a the baby clothes section).
Stupid, sure, but when everything in your world is screaming at you to have a kid while you’re at mental war with yourself, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Luckily, his friends are there to help.
And of course, it just so happened he ran into a pregnant woman going up the stairs, heaving a hefty amount of groceries that he insisted he’d carry for her.
At this point he’s not entirely certain if it’s a sign or a haunting.
Landing an exasperated knock on the door, Changbin welcomes the smell of sandalwood along with the reassuring hug he received as well. Although, the feeling of relief was short-lived once Chan insisted he retell the story from square one.
If Changbin would have known this would turn into a therapy session, he would’ve stayed home. But knowing his friend only wanted to help, knowing he needed the help, he kept himself glued to the kitchen chair.
About thirty minutes into his conversation, Jisung enters from the hallway, toothbrush casually hanging from the side of his mouth. He gives Chan a look, but doesn’t say anything else, plopping down in the opposing seat wordlessly.
“Changbin.”
Chan’s tone interrupts his apology, helping him catch his breath after so ruthlessly spilling his guts to either of them.
“Do you want this?” He asks, giving Changbin time to process his erratic spiel.
Does he? Does he want this? Want a kid, want a kid with you?
Yes.
He wants to be a dad. He wants to be a dad so badly it nearly kills him.
“And Y/n does too?”
A nod.
“Then that’s it. You think so much you ruin stuff for yourself. Just enjoy, alright?” Chan recalls, and the rapper decides if he wasn’t producing music he could pass as a therapist.
Chan is a “just enjoy” kind of guy, a dude that despite weighing the world on his shoulders (and the industry), experienced life unabashedly. It was something he always admired.
Before now, Changbin never thought of himself as a worrier. In fact, he was probably the most laid back of his friends. When you’re involved, however, his wiring trips, and he falls ten times harder every second.
He hates how his fingers shake when hugging Chan again. He also hates the shit-eating grin slapped across Jisung’s face while gathering his stuff to leave.
“I bet fifty bucks it’ll be an ugly baby with your genetics!” Jisung shouts from behind him, watching him disappear onto the elevator. Changbin chuckles knowingly.
Called it.
Nevertheless, he couldn’t have been more dead-set on something in his life. Because from the moment you stepped inside, Changbin has you caged between him and the door.
“You want a baby?” He begins, knee wedging your legs apart. You airily gasp, mumbling into his saccharine lips.
“Bin-” You breathe, fingers gently pushing the messy black strands away from his eyes. He raises up to earn a sigh of your approval, and through hasty steps, you’ve managed to get to the bedroom.
It seemed like your predicament a week ago was finally getting its part two.
He’s crawled on top of you now, thumbing the clasp of your bra. ‘You don’t have to–”
“I want to, I’ve wanted to.” Last words coming out a tad bit lower than his usual tone, he returned to giving much needed attention below your ear, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as you sink into the mattress below, drifting away in the pleasure he provided.
It’s so reviving. And despite always being reviving, you can tell the intentions are different this time. He’s taking his time with you, the honey on his lips being sure to kiss every inch of you. Savoring, remembering.
All you can hear is the numbed sound of your clothing dropping to the floor and the feather-light contact of his open-mouthed kisses, scent invading every sense and lulling you into utter contempt.
Not fucking, making love.
It feels like you’re melting.
He maps every curve, adores each flaw, kisses away the tears that drip down your face because it’s so intimate, overwhelming tides of his love swallowing you whole.
You’d be content dying like this.
But you can’t, and your husband won’t let you. He breathes air back into your lungs, forces you awake when you wish to sleep forever.
He cares, he cares thoughtlessly, deeply. He cares when you tell him you love him, bodies effortlessly connected. And he replies the same, a whisper, a mantra among your sweat and tears.
Melting away. Far, far away.
.. .
Your heart is pounding out of your chest, sweaty grip holding the tests in each hand as the timer on your husband's phone ticks by.
How you haven’t passed out from nervously holding your breath is a mystery. Granted, in the back of your mind you have a hunch, especially with your period being late too, but that doesn’t make this any less crucial.
He’s squatting between your legs while you sit on the toilet, and in any other circumstance you would’ve called it crazy. Nevertheless, this wasn’t any other circumstance.
Thumb rubbing comforting circles atop your thighs, the buzz of his phone has you sporadically trembling, waiting.
He gently cups your face in his hands, landing a kiss on your nose.
“You know I love you, right?”
And you stifle a tearful reply. A tearful “I love you” murmured before flipping the tears over and witnessing two identical plus signs staring right back at you.
Both of you stop breathing, and Changbin’s gaze repeatedly shifts from the box showing what lines are positive and what aren’t before gradually lifting his head to you, watery smile adorning his features.
“Binnie, I’m pregnant.”
> SERIES TAGLIST. @phtogravi @liknws @luckieleaf @jhstayy @meloncremesoda @chans1aptop @eternitywaveshello @meanergreener @ladylexis @love-gy-u @hanjingin @idkluvutellme @dark-anxel @yubinism @rachabreathing @seung-scrittore @fylithia @skzsupremacy @alrm02 @ener-energy @koliki @anskiiz @dprkbyn @bellamuerte1987 @ylixbok @hanjisung-enjoyer @youngunknownwitch @hwangflora @starlost-andfound @taeriffic @flwerfield
sunboki, may 2022 ©
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stray kids as dads
skz ot8 x reader
word count: 13.9k (1k-2k per member)
genre: fluff, some suggestive content, a dash of angst with minho - MINORS DNI
warnings: illness (stomach bug - chan), mentions of birth, jisung gets a lil mopey, mentions of food, almost oral (seungmin, fem receiving), it's just really fluffy tbh. if i missed anything - PLEASE LET ME KNOW.
summary: a day in the life of dad stray kids
a/n: i have baby fever and i'm making it everyone's problem. also sometimes i write fluff - this brought me lots of comfort so i hope it does for you as well.
this is a work of fiction. this fic in no way represents stray kids members as people or the band as a whole. you are responsible for the media you consume. please read responsibly.
taglist: @lix-ables, @rachalixie, @agustd-essert, @gibbysupremeacyisreal, @katieraven, @miamormi, @woahfruity, @isilentprincess
Bang Chan
When you’re expecting, everyone tells you to get all the sleep you can, because it’ll be a while before you get a full night’s sleep again. All these things about “sleep when the baby sleeps” or “you won’t ever be able to catch up”. In Chan’s case, he found the lack of sleep the easiest part of parenting. He never slept anyway, what difference did a baby make?
Chan functions best between the hours of midnight and 5 am, which made him the obvious choice to take over night time feedings/diaper changes. You were exhausted, Chan wasn’t, so what was the point in waking you up?
He spent most nights in his home studio after you fell asleep, keeping the baby monitor on full volume so he could run back upstairs when needed. Most nights, when the baby stirred, he would just take them back down to the studio with him, snuggling as he worked until they fell back asleep.
It was a great routine, and Chan was almost sad when all his kids started sleeping through the night. There was no need for a monitor in his studio anymore, nobody waking up for a midnight snack or just some cuddles - he wasn’t really needed at night anymore. Chan went to his home studio less and less at night, trying to adjust to everyone else’s sleep schedule. There were some positives to this; he got to fall asleep with you now instead of after you, he never missed family breakfast anymore, he got to take his kids to school. Following everyone else’s routine was better in the long run.
Even though he missed the one on one time he got with his kids. There was something special about those late night snuggles that he wasn’t able to recreate.
A stomach bug entered the Bang household suddenly and aggressively. It started with the oldest daughter. Chan got a call from her piano teacher to come pick her up from practice, saying that she had been vomiting aggressively for the past ten minutes. He broke many traffic laws racing to his daughter's school, and then just as many to get to the ER, just to be told it’s just a really shitty stomach bug.
The bug then began to bounce around, hitting his youngest daughter next. For two days, Chan ran between the girls’ bedrooms, bringing soup, gatorade, crackers - whatever they needed, he was right there to help him. He wanted to help them feel better while keeping you and the baby away from the bug. The last thing he wanted was for either of you to get sick. So, it made sense that the next person to get sick was himself.
Chan slept on the floor of the bathroom the first night. The tile was so cool against his body, which was so hot. He opened every window in your bedroom to try and cool his body off as he laid immobilized on the bed. The second day, you came in and shut the windows.
“I understand you’re hot, Chan, but it’s snowing outside.”
With all the strength he could muster, he rushed you out of the bedroom. The top floor of the house was ground zero, and now knowing first hand how awful this bug was, he wanted you as far away from him as possible.
The third day, Chan began to feel better. He was able to make it to the bathroom without having to stop for a break, and could successfully hold down soup. With the girls fully recovered, and Chan more than halfway there, he began to feel optimistic that the bug would skip over you.
Then, the baby got sick.
Within the next 10 hours, you started to vomit.
Chan was moved out of the bedroom and into his home studio so you and the baby could quarantine in there. From what Chan could tell, you got the worst of it. The first night he sat next to you while you sobbed into the toilet, afraid to leave because you didn’t know when the nausea was going to hit again. You could barely pick your son up, who weighed at least 10 pounds less than both the girls did at 15 months. Every time he cried, you would cry harder, feeling both miserable and guilty, like you were the one who got him sick.
The only positive was that both you and the baby slept, and slept hard. The physical exhaustion from vomiting and sweating all day meant you both were getting at least 12 hours a night. That was the only time Chan would leave your side, wandering down to the couch in his home studio.
Chan tried really, really hard to fall asleep that night. He took melatonin, drank sleepy time tea, even wore an eye mask to make sure it was completely dark. He just couldn’t shut his brain off. It was jumping all over the place - from worrying about you, to coming up with new track ideas. He couldn’t calm down enough to go to sleep.
Chan removed the eye mask to check the time on his phone. 11:00. He had been trying to fall asleep for 45 minutes without success.
“Fuck it.” He mumbled to him before turning on the lights and powering up all his equipment.
If he couldn’t sleep, he sure as fuck could work.
///
2:45 am, and Chan was thanking whatever God he could that Jisung’s sleep schedule was just as fucked up as his.
“I just finished the hook for this track, if you want to give it a listen.” Jisung’s groggy voice filled the empty studio. “If you’re too tired, I get it. Just thought you might want to-“
“Nah, man. I’m wide awake. Send it.” Chan said, clicking open his email to get ready for the track.
He listened to Jisung’s keyboard click as he waited. “Sent. Everyone in your house still feeling bad?”
The notification popped up before Chan could even refresh the page. “Almost everyone. The girls are feeling better, for the most part. I still feel a bit nauseous but not bad. Not as bad as…”
“Yeah, no, we got it too.” Jisung sighed. “I’m the only one who hasn’t started throwing up, so I’ve been on newborn duty.”
Chan smiled to himself, remembering when his kids were that small and the long nights spent together in the same room he was in now. “That was my favorite part.”
“Of course it was. You never sleep, it makes sense for you to take on the night shift.”
“I mean, true. But god, the alone time with them? The way their weight felt against my chest as they slept while I worked? There’s nothing like it. I miss it.”
Jisung chuckled softly. “I get that. Being needed is always nice.”
The conversation ended there, as Chan pulled up the track to review it. He smiled while listening to it; Jisung never produced a bad track, even if he hated hearing it.
“Ji, man. You just get better everyday.” Chan said as soon as the track ended.
“Shut the fuck up. The beat at 15 seconds sounds funny-“
“It’s different, but it flows well with the rest of the song.” Chan saved the track to his computer. “I want to play around with it a bit but I doubt there’s any adjustments I need to make. It’s fucking good.”
He could hear Jisung getting flustered on the other end of the phone. “You can change whatever you need. I have some other-“ his friend was cut off by a sudden wailing noise in the background. “Again? She literally fell asleep an hour ago- Ah, Channie, I gotta go.”
Chan smiled, feeling slightly envious of his friend. “Go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Jisung gave a quick goodbye before he ended the call, leaving Chan alone in silence. He pulled Jisung’s track back up, deciding to start messing around with it now. Maybe he could get it back to him before 5:00-
Chan was so caught up in the track that he didn’t hear the basement door close, or the thumping of tiny feet against the hardwood floor. He didn’t even notice his youngest daughter sneaking into the studio, dark, curly hair clinging to her face, a kangaroo doll clutched to her chest. He didn’t know she was there until he felt something tugging on his shirt sleeve.
Chan whirled around, spooked by the sudden movement. “Jesus Christ- oh. Jellybean, you scared me.” Chan said with a laugh. “What are you doing awake?”
She sniffled, and then Chan realized she had been crying. “I had a nightmare, Papa.”
“Oh, baby.” Chan scooped his daughter up, gathering her in his arms. His fingers found her hair, slowly threading them through it in an attempt to calm her down. “Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”
She shook her head as she squeezed Chan tighter. “Just want Papa.”
“I’m right here, love.” Chan slowly moved the chair back and forth in a rocking motion, like he would do when they were babies. He kissed the top of her head, sweaty from sleep. As long as she needed him, he would stay, holding her against his chest.
“I have to do some work, Jellybean, but you can stay here with me if you want?” Chan whispered, pulling his chair back into the desk.
Sniffling, your daughter gave a small yes, determined to stay until she was certain there wasn’t anything lurking in her closet like her dreams had made her believe.
Chan played Jisung’s track at a low volume, adding some minor adjustments. He felt his daughter’s heart rate slow down, her sniffling stop, and he was almost certain she was asleep until she spoke again:
“Papa make this?”
“I wish. It sounds good, right?” She nodded her head in response. “Uncle Ji made it.”
He felt her smile softly against his chest. “Pretty.”
“It is pretty.”
His daughter moved her head to look up at her father. “Uncle Ji has a new baby, right?”
“Mhm. Baby girl.”
“Can we see baby soon?“
Chan smiled down at his daughter before pressing a kiss against her forehead. “When mommy and bubba feel better, we can go over and meet the baby.”
She smiled for the first time that early morning as she thought about holding the new baby. She nuzzled back into her father’s chest and said: “I like babies.”
“Babies are great.”
“I wish I was still a baby. Like Bubba. Or Uncle Ji’s baby.”
“Well, you may not be a baby. But, you’re my baby.”
“I like being your baby.”
Chan felt his heart swell as he squeezed his daughter.
Babies were fun. That bonding time Chan had with all his kids was fun. But this? This was so much better.
Lee Minho
Minho had been looking forward to this trip for weeks.
He had “spontaneously” planned it about a month ago after a long phone call with his mom. His parents didn’t live too far away from you guys; in fact, you often saw them once a week for family dinners. But, within the last few months, you all saw less and less of each other; weekly family dinners turning into monthly, if you’re lucky. The loss of family time had made his mom sad, and Minho shared that sentiment. He was close to his family, and not seeing them enough brought his mood down considerably.
After the phone call ended, Minho made his way to your shared bedroom. The bedroom tv softly played reruns of your comfort show, filling the otherwise dark room with soft blue tones. You were sitting with your back against the headboard, comforter bunched at your waist, breast pump humming softly. Minho shut the bedroom door quietly, causing your attention to shift from the tv to him.
You gave your husband a gentle smile, the same smile that made him fall in love with you all over again, and made grabby hands at him. Minho quickly dove into the bed, pushing his lower body under the duvet and resting his head in your empty lap.
Your right hand found his hair, threading your fingers through it slowly. Minho’s body visibly relaxed.
“Everything alright? You were on the phone for a while.”
Minho sighed sadly. “Yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine. I just miss my parents.”
“Me too, my love.” You said with a pout. “Did you invite them over for dinner this week?”
“I did, but dad has a work thing he can’t get out of.” Minho’s legs intertwined with yours as he tried to bring you closer to his body.
You two sat in silence for a bit. Minho felt his eyes grow heavy as you continued to play with his hair. Nobody had ever played with his hair before you. The first time you did it was at the beginning of your relationship, when he had had a really shitty day. You had held his head to your shoulder as he cried into it, one hand running up and down his spine while the other found his head. Ever since then, Minho sought your hands for comfort any time he was upset. He could always feel the tension leaving his body once your nails raked against his head. He felt safe and loved in your hands. You protected him.
“Min.” You whispered, removing your hand from his hair. “Can you move for just a second? I need to take the pump off.”
Minho rolled off your lap and onto his pillow, watching you as you carefully removed the full bags. His eyes drifted from your breast to the bassinet right next to the bed.
“When did she fall asleep?”
“About 45 minutes into your phone call.” You placed the sealed bags on your bedside table. “She was not very happy with me, though.”
“She’s never very happy with you.”
You chuckled softly, causing the corner of Minho’s lips to twitch up slightly. “She never is, is she? She definitely prefers you.”
“Ah, don’t say that-“
“I never said I was upset about it.” Pump off, you pulled yourself out of the bed in search of Minho’s shirt you slept in. “I love how much she loves you, because I love you just as much.”
Minho smiled, eyes never leaving the bassinet. He never thought he was capable of love until he met you, and then he didn’t think could love any deeper until she came along. She had smiled at him first. She had laughed at him first. He had always wished he had a sibling, but now he finally understood why some parents choose not to have more children; one was enough.
She was enough.
You finally found your shirt, quickly putting it on and grabbing the bags of milk. “I’m going to put these in the garage freezer, then we can go to bed. Sound good?”
You had slipped out of the room before Minho could respond, but it was okay. His thoughts were too focused on his daughter, what it felt like to be a parent, to be her parent.
God, he missed his parents.
By the time you made it back to the bedroom, Minho was running you through his idea. He had two weeks of unused vacation time, and you hadn’t left the city since the baby was born three months ago. You both needed a vacation, and Minho needed more family time. He would call his mom in the morning and run the dates by her, making sure they were okay with a two week visit.
And of course they were.
Every morning, on his way out the door, Minho would kiss your forehead, smother the baby with kisses, and shout how many days were left until your mini vacation.
“20 days!”
“13 days!”
“One week!”
“One more sleep!”
Before Minho knew it, you were making the short drive to his parents. Less than an hour without traffic, he planned to make it there before breakfast.
You sat in the passenger seat, knees up to your chest and leaning towards Minho. His hand rested firmly on your knee, rubbing his thumb in smoothing circles as he drove with one hand. The car was quiet; baby snoozing in her car seat, your playlist quietly filling the car, the morning summer sun warming the car slightly. In Minho’s opinion, it was the perfect day.
“My mom talked about taking Bubs to the zoo sometime this week.” Minho said, voice barely louder than the music.
“Hmm, that sounds like fun. I don’t think I packed her a hat, though.”
“Mom might have one. If not, we can always go out today and look for one. Dad said there’s this cute baby shop close by- FUCK.” Minho shouted, slamming on the brakes. His arm flew out in front of you, keeping you back against the seat.
If he hadn't been paying attention, he would have rear ended the car in front of him who hit the brakes just as hard as he did. The once quiet car was now filled with heavy panting, and loud cries of your daughter who woken from the sudden stop and Minho’s cursing.
“Bubs.” You panted, unbuckling your seatbelt and throwing yourself into the backseat. Quickly buckling her, scooping her into your chest and shushing her as you rocked her back and forth.
Minho was frozen. His arm that braced you still slung over the center console, his other hand gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white. His body, once warm from the summer sun, was now ice cold with fear.
Nothing had happened; it looked like it was just an early morning traffic jam. Someone in front of him hadn’t been paying attention and slammed on their brakes too late, causing a domino effect. Causing him to slam on his brakes so he didn’t hit a car.
It could have been so much worse.
Minho shifted the car into park and quickly unbuckled his seatbelt. Fuck, it felt so constricting. Turning around, he reached behind him to grab your hand.
“Is she okay?” He asked, wide eyes staring at his daughter’s head.
You nodded your head. “I think she just got scared.” He heard your voice crack. His eyes shot up to your face, watching hot tears stream quickly down your face. “Fuck, Minho, that could’ve been so bad.”
“Oh, no.” Fuck traffic laws. Minho crawled over the console into the backseat with you, his mind anywhere but the cars surrounding him. “Hey, no.” His thumbs wiped your face clean. “It’s just a traffic jam. We’re okay.” He pulled both of you into his arms, your face buried into his shoulder as you sobbed.
Minho brought a shaky hand up to your head and slowly began combing your hair with his fingers. He planted a kiss on your forehead, keeping up with the flow of his hands. Your fingers always made him feel safe, and now he needed to do the same for you.
“I'm here. I’m right here, love.”
///
You refused to leave the backseat for the rest of the trip. You leaned over your daughter’s car seat, hands going from her little feet, to touching her little head, to grabbing her chubby hands. This was where you needed to be - right by her side. Even if it was just a little scare, the fear that threatened to drown you wouldn’t leave. You knew eventually it would, but now? For now, you weren’t leaving.
Minho didn’t want to drive. He didn’t want to be separated from either of you. He needed to be next to you, to feel your heartbeat against his chest, to feel your hands in his hair. He needed to feel his daughter’s hand gripping his finger, needed to hear her giggle as he kissed her belly over and over.
The traffic jam didn’t cut much time off the trip - Minho was back on his route in a matter of minutes. He drove quickly, wanting to be out of the car and in your arms.
The moment he parked the car, he was out, running to the back of the car to open your door. Once he flung it open, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in close.
In his head, Minho knew he was overreacting. It was a small traffic jam that was over quickly. If he had been by himself, he would’ve been pissed, but would’ve gotten over it before traffic even started moving again. But, he wasn’t by himself. You were in the car. She was in the car. And there was no way in hell he was going to let anything happen to either of you.
From her car seat, your daughter started to fuss. You turned around to grab her when Minho grabbed your arm.
“Let me.” He said, eyes brimming with tears. “Please.”
You nodded, sliding out of the car so he could climb in and grab her.
Her eyes were still shut, small baby fists up by her face as she tried to stretch the sleepy out. Minho smiled to himself, tears finally falling, as he pulled her out of her car seat.
“Oh, hi my girl.” He whispered. Your daughter, hearing her father’s voice, slowly cracked her eyes open. “I missed you.”
The baby yawned in response, nuzzling herself deeper into her father’s chest. Minho chuckled, leaning down and kissing all over her small face. The baby wiggled, and he swore she was trying to push him away with her tiny little hands. But, Minho didn’t stop. He kissed all over her face, blowing raspberries on her cheeks until she released a shriek like baby laugh.
Minho felt your chin rest on his shoulder, looking down at her. He blew one last raspberry on her belly this time, just to get her to laugh again.
You laughed with your baby. “Oh Bubs, is daddy so silly?”
She giggled in response, nuzzling back into his chest.
Minho was so caught up in his daughter that he didn’t even hear his mother approach the car.
“I thought I heard a car door!”
You turned around, running up to your mother-in-law. “Oh, hi, mom.”
Minho looked up to see you two hug, exchanging “I missed you”s and comments on new haircuts. The baby in his arms squirmed, ready for more attention from her father.
“Do I hear a baby?”
Minho smiled at his mom, then looked back down at his daughter, who was staring at him like he hung the stars.
She didn’t even know he felt the same about her.
As his mom’s voice grew closer, Minho felt safe. Minho felt loved. Minho felt comforted.
It was how he always felt with you and Bubs around, and his mom just added more warmth to those feelings. You two were his safety.
You two were his home.
Seo Changbin
Sundays.
A day for sleeping in.
A day for getting those last minute chores done before the new work week begins.
A day for easy dinners and family tv show nights.
Most families would say Sundays are their favorite day of the week. Sundays are easy, Sundays are quiet, Sundays are peaceful.
For Changbin, he would say it depends on the season. Because spring Sundays were anything but easy, quiet, and peaceful.
If he slept past 6:30 on a spring Sunday, he could go ahead and count the day as a loss, because there was no way he was coming back from that. All three kids were typically awake by 7:15, the twins grouchy and hungry as Bin tries to get them dressed for the day. You typically took baby duty; he preferred you to your husband and was struggling with dependency issues. Besides, Changbin would much rather tackle the two snappy seven year olds than let you navigate the absolute chaos that was the oldest boys.
The night before, Changbin set multiple alarms to make sure he woke up before you. Sundays were his busiest days, and he wanted to sneak a workout in before the chaos erupted in his household.
The problem with alarms is, no matter how many he sets, he will always sleep through them.
However, he was proud of himself today. He woke up on the third alarm instead of the sixth like usual. For a brief second, he thought this Sunday would be easier than all the other Sundays of this month.
Rolling over in the bed, he reached out for you only to be greeted by cold bed sheets. Changbin quickly sat up, thoroughly confused. He was sure he would be the first to wake up. After all, why would you be awake before him, at 5:45 on a Sunday? He cursed at himself under his breath as he hoisted himself out of bed and threw on the first pair of sweatpants he could find. This shouldn’t have happened. You shouldn’t have been awake before him, and he wanted to know why you were.
The moment Changbin stepped outside of your shared bedroom, he felt his foot press against something strong and sharp. He leaned against the door, hissing in pain as he picked up his foot to investigate what the hell he had just blindly stepped on.
“Goddamn cleats.” He cussed, kicking the shoe out of his way. How many times did he have to remind the boys to leave their shoes at the front door?
“Seo Changbin, shut UP.” He heard you hiss from the kitchen.
The kitchen?
At 5:45?
Limping slightly, he made his way to the kitchen. On the short walk there, Changbin found himself running into more things: his left big toe stubbed against a bat, he felt a pacifier squish under his foot, one of the twins’ many reusable water bottles almost made him slip and fall on the hardwood.
Changbin used to think he was envious of the people who got to clean on Sundays. Now he realized, as he stepped on the cleat matching the one in front of your bedroom door, he really fucking hated those people.
He was ready to curse everyone who had an easy Sunday until he saw you, and finally realized why you were the first one up.
Your hair was tied messily back, strands falling in front of your face as you supported the youngest of your three sons with one hand and used the other to peel oranges. The youngest had his eyes closed, nestled into your chest as he softly ate. Your shirt (that you had stolen from Changbin within your first year together and refused to return) was wet with a mixture of orange juice and baby spit up. You were frazzled, overworked, and exhausted.
And now, Changbin was upset he overslept for a different reason.
“Baby, why are you awake?” Changbin asked, rushing over to your side to grab the orange you were about to drop.
Once he grabbed it, you leaned against the fridge to support your weight. The baby weighed more than the twins and you were exhausted from supporting him with one arm for so long. “Bean was fussing, so I got up to go check on him and feed him. As I was doing that, I checked my phone and saw a reminder text that it’s our turn to bring snacks to the t-ball game this afternoon. I totally fucking forgot, Changbin. I tried to put him back to sleep, but with his dependency issues and cluster feeding, he wouldn’t let me put him down, so I brought him out here with me.” Your head hit the fridge door with a thud. “I only got three oranges peeled before I heard you yelling.”
Changbin felt his heart sink. He had spent so much time this morning grumbling about being behind schedule when you had been doing all this work by yourself. To say he felt like an asshole would be an understatement. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
You waved your hand as if to dismiss him. “You were sleeping so peacefully, and I knew we’d have a busy day today. I just wanted you to sleep.”
“First,” Changbin placed the orange on the kitchen island and closed the space in between you two, “always wake me up. You are far more important than any amount of sleep. Second, while I feel like such a fucking dick for letting you do this alone, I wanted to let you know how grateful I am for you. You are an amazing wife and an even better mother, and I couldn’t do this without you.” Changbin’s eyes drifted from your face to the baby attached to your chest. He had let go of your nipple, breathing heavily as he slept against your chest. “Third, you suck at peeling oranges. Let me take over. Go put Bean to bed and then yourself.”
“But, Changbin-“
“Nah, I don’t want to hear it. No kid is going to want to eat these oranges with a shitty peel job.” He playfully scoffed. “Who taught you how to do this? No wonder the twins never eat them when you pack them for lunch.”
Using your free hand, you playfully punched his shoulder. Changbin cried out in fake pain and dramatically grasped his shoulder, whining about how you injured his orange peeling arm.
“You’re obnoxious.” You whispered with a grin on your face.
“It’s been 10 years, you’re just noticing that?”
Laughing softly, you grabbed him by the forearm and pulled him in for a kiss. “I love and adore you.”
Changbin pecked your lips once, twice, and then a third time. “I love and adore you, too.”
He watched you walk out of the kitchen, heart swelling in adoration. You were like a superhero in his eyes - someone navigating the world with three loud, clingy boys and their equally clingy father with an abundance of grace. Changbin didn’t know how you did it, but he wanted to, because he never wanted you to have to go through this alone. The baby’s bedroom door shut, allowing Changbin to direct his attention to the half peeled orange in his hand.
He picked up one and glanced at the clock on the oven. 6:00 am. He had maybe an hour to get most of these oranges peeled before he had to start breakfast. There was no way he was going to let the twins go to their t-ball tournament without eating breakfast. Just like he wouldn’t let them go without sunscreen-
Sunscreen.
Shit.
That’s what he forgot to pick up at the store last night.
He aggressively picked at the orange, trying to peel them faster so he could slip away to the store before anyone else in his household woke up.
“Goddamn sunscreen.” He mumbled to himself.
Sundays in the Seo household were busy, loud, and chaotic.
But goddamn, did Changbin love Sundays.
Hwang Hyunjin
“Fuck.” Hyunjin mumbles under his breath as he takes a sharp left turn, barely missing the car speeding towards him. “Sorry!” He calls as the driver honked at him, as if they could hear his half ass apology.
The car pulled into a parking spot with a squeak, and Hyunjin barely turned the car off before throwing himself out of it. “Fuck.” He curses, yet again, locking the car before running inside. He was late. Like, late late. Hyunjin was never exactly “on time”, but he also was never this late. In his defense, he had lost track of time. It completely slipped his mind that it was Thursday.
There was a line at the clock out desk. He bit his lip and aggressively untied his ponytail, trying to distract himself before he started cursing in front of all the other parents at his daughter’s daycare. When it was his turn, his code didn’t work. Hands shaking with frustration, he pulled his phone out and quickly called you.
“Hyunjin-“
“What’s your code?” He slightly snapped.
“What code?”
“The code for Pumpkin’s school. What is it?”
“Our anniversary.”
“Which one?”
“Yah, Hwang Hyunjin-“
“We have like, five. Which one?” He hated when he lost his temper with you, and he knew he would be begging for forgiveness later tonight, but he was already going to have to apologize for how late he was.
“Wedding. 1027.” Your voice was laced with anger.
He quickly punched in the code and was rewarded with the click of the front door unlocking. “Thank you, honey.”
“Hurry, please.” You said and hung up the phone without saying goodbye.
Fuck.
That was three.
When pregnant with Pumpkin, you were insistent on applying for daycares early. They made you nervous, and you wanted some place that you felt safe leaving your child. Hyunjin had remembered Chan talking about this preschool they looked at for his son - very prestigious, excellent reviews, very low acceptance rate. The website promised small class sizes, lots of one on one engagement, parent/teacher interactions daily. It was the perfect school. Five months pregnant, you two toured the school and immediately sent in your application. Hyunjin got the call offering Pumpkin a spot while he was driving you to the hospital. But, she had gotten in. Four years later, you and Hyunjin were still so in love with the school.
So, that’s why he felt bad for sprinting through it today.
He almost slid past Pumpkin’s classroom, leaning in to catch her attention.
“Yah, Hwang.” He said. Your daughter snapped her head around, braids he had put in this morning loose from a busy day of playing. “Let’s roll.”
Your daughter put the marker she was coloring with down before sprinting to her father. Hyunjin squated to catch her, picking her up and spinning her as he kissed all over the top of her head.
“Hey, Pumpkin. How was your day?”
Before your daughter could answer, her teacher popped up in the doorway. “We have some papers for you to take home and sign,” the teacher said, handing Hyunjin what he considered to be a small packet “if you could turn these into the office by Monday, that would be great.”
He nodded, quickly saying thank you. “Say bye, Pumpkin, we’ve got to go-“
“Oh, quickly, before you run off.”
It took everything Hyunjin had inside him not to sigh.
“We had a bit of trouble keeping our hands to ourselves today. We pulled our friend’s hair quite a few times and-“
Your daughter looked up at Hyunjin, face scrunched in disgust. “THEY started it. They touched me when I said NO.”
Fuck.
Four.
“That wasn’t kind of them not to listen, you’re right. But that doesn’t mean you can-“
“But it’s my body, and I said no. Mommy said I can always be mean if they don’t listen to my no-“
“I mean, you’re right-“
“So I can pull hair.”
“No.”
“Why?”
Hyunjin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. As much as he wanted to deep dive into this topic, the clock was ticking and they had to go. Now.
Hyunjin grabbed his daughter’s backpack, forcing her to apologize to her teacher before running back down the hallway and out the front door. During the first few years of parenthood, Hyunjin struggled with car seats. He couldn’t figure out the buckles, had a hard time taking them out of the car, and, much to your horror, often forgot to take coats off before buckling in. That mistake he fixed quickly, but the others? It took him years to get it right and get it done in less than two minutes.
Today, however, he broke his record, buckling Pumpkin up and adjusting the chest clip in 30 seconds even. He would brag about that later. It was time to go.
///
The class had already started by the time Hyunjin and Pumpkin came barreling through the door. His daughter, spotting her brother, dropped the doll and made a beeline to him.
Hyunjin sighed, as he scanned the room for you. You were sitting against the back wall with the rest of the parents, still dressed in work clothes, hair bumpy from the bun it had sat in all day. Hyunjin stepped over the other parents, sliding down the open spot next to you. He leaned in to give you a kiss on the forehead, but you moved your head before his lips could connect.
“Hey.” He whispered.
You shook your head. “You’re so late, Hyunjin.”
He sighed, bringing his pointer and middle finger up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I know, I’m sorry. Meetings ran long, and then I got caught up in the studio and completely lost track of time-“
“And then you snapped at me.”
“I did. I’m sorry. I was frustrated with myself for running late and lost my temper. I’m so sorry.” Hyunjin felt like shit. He should know by now; dance practice was every Thursday after school for both kids. You always picked up Bear, he always picked up Pumpkin. It was your family routine since they started dance class. Hyunjin had no excuse.
He stared at his kids who were smiling at each other, whispering about their days. They were best friends, and if Hyunjin thought about their relationship for longer than a few seconds, he would cry. He didn’t have siblings, so watching them love each other filled his heart with a joy he has never known.
“Bear had his timed math quiz today. Answered them all correctly.” You said, head leaning slightly towards your husband.
Hyunjin smiled. You did this often - you hated focusing on conflict for too long, and after apologies were given, you would switch the topic. You never held a grudge, especially against Hyunjin, and he was always grateful for your conflict management.
“Couldn’t have been me.” Hyunjin rested his head on yours, wanting to be closer to you. Typically, you both kept PDA to a minimum, especially at your children’s activities. Hyunjin, however, didn’t give a shit today. He needed to be closer to you. “I was awful at math.”
You chuckled softly, leaning into him more. “Same. I don’t know where he got that from.”
“Pumpkin pulled some kid’s hair today because they wouldn’t stop poking her. She said she told them no, and they wouldn’t stop, so she took matters into her own hands.”
“Good for her.”
“Right? We know where she got that from.” Hyunjin glanced down at you with a smile.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your voice dripping with sarcasm. “I always keep my hands to myself.”
Hyunjin couldn’t stop the loud laugh he released. The night you two had met, and the moment Hyunjin knew he needed to know you, he had watched you throw a drink in a man’s face. The man had been following your friend around all night, not taking no for an answer, and you had just gotten sick of it. When he approached your table for the fifth time that night, you had taken a sip of your vodka soda, then threw it right in his face. The man began to raise his voice at you and threatened you, while you just laughed at him crying over a little vodka in his eyes. Changbin had walked over to try to get the guy to leave you alone, and you had snapped at him, saying you could defend yourself. Eventually, the creep left. Changbin attempted to apologize to you by buying you a new drink, but you waved him off and gave him a quick apology of your own. It was then that Hyunjin went to retrieve his friend, sensing that you and your friends didn’t need another man hanging around your table. You had made eye contact with Hyunjin right as he grabbed Changbin’s arm.
“You don’t need to buy me a drink.” You had said to Changbin before looking at Hyunjin and smirking. “But if you wanted to, I wouldn’t stop you.”
So he bought you a drink.
And now you were watching your children stretch for their weekly dance class.
Hyunjin couldn’t be happier.
///
Bed time was the most draining part of Hyunjin’s day. It also happened to be bath night, which made the process longer and more complicated than Hyunjin would have liked it to be.
Pumpkin changed pajamas five times before she felt satisfied with the pair she had on. Hyunjin didn’t see what the difference was between this pair of polka dot pajamas and the other, but he was picking his battles. Finally climbing into bed, Hyunjin sat next to her, opening the first book she requested.
Midway through the book, Pumpkin looked up at her father. “Can you hold me, daddy?” Her voice was so soft, so gentle. How could he say no?
Collecting his daughter in his arms, he continued with the book. By the end of it, she was snoring - head against his right bicep, legs resting on his left arm, little hands gripping on his shirt as if she was afraid of him letting go. Hyunjin closed the book and let it fall to the floor, grabbing his daughter and holding her closer to his chest.
She wasn’t the snuggly kid. When Pumpkin no longer needed support, she rarely sought out hugs or cuddles. She just didn’t want it, and while he respected it, it had completely shattered his heart. He felt like she didn’t need him, and while he adored her independence, he just wanted to hold his daughter like he used to.
Hyunjin shifted lower in the small bed, trying to get more comfortable. He would sit like this just for a few more minutes. Then, he would lay her down, tuck her in, and crawl into bed with you.
Just a few more minutes of this.
Just a few.
///
Hyunjin’s eyes shot open when he felt someone playing with his hair.
“Hey. Want to come to bed?” You whispered, a soft smile on your face.
Wasn’t he in bed?
Why did the ceiling have stars on it?
Hyunjin turned his head to his left, where Pumpkin laid next to him. She had stretched out, but still had a tight grip on his shirt. The duvet covers were twisted and pushed to the middle of the bed, barely covering her little body. One of his legs hung off the side of the bed, foot brushing against the book he dropped earlier in the evening.
He brought a hand to his face, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”
“11:00.” You whispered. Fuck, he had been asleep a while then. “I didn’t want to bother you, but when I heard something fall, I figured it was time to wake you up.”
Something fell?
Hyunjin lifted his head to see his daughter’s alarm clock on the floor, numbers creating a pink hue on the carpet. He was too lanky for this small bed.
“I should probably…” his voice trailed off once he looked at his daughter again. Sleeping soundly. Eyes twitching as she dreamed. What was she dreaming about? He was dying to know what went on in her little head.
He looked back up at you, eyes hot with tears. “Can I stay here? Just for a bit longer.” His voice a shaky whisper.
You nodded before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I’ll wake you up in the morning.”
Hyunjin slowly reached down and grabbed the duvet cover, pulling it over both his and Pumpkin’s body. Pumpkin nuzzled into the warmth, head finding her father’s chest against. Carefully, he moved her slightly so he could fit his other leg on the bed.
She’s spunky. She stays ready to fight anyone who even looks at her wrong. She loves her brother more than Hyunjin ever thought someone could love a sibling. She’s funny, and loud, an absolute force. She looks just like him; big brown eyes, long black hair, always mimicking his disgusted face. She’s absolutely everything to him.
He placed a gentle kiss on her head, before allowing his eyes to shut. He was never leaving her side.
Han Jisung
Jisung is convinced he was made to be a father.
Nothing brings him more joy than caring for others or being needed. He loves when his younger friends, and sometimes older ones, rely on him for support or ask him for advice. He feels important, and likes that they see him as someone they can trust, who is always there for him.
So when you told him you were pregnant, he felt like running laps. It was a big show; first his eyes became saucers as he processed your news. Next came the jaw drop, quickly covered by his hands as he let out a soft screech. “Really?” He asked, and when you nodded, there was too much excitement in his body to stay still. Jisung jumped up from the bed, steps bouncy as he ran over to you, hugging you so tightly you had to warn him to be gentle.
“We’re having a baby.” He whispered in your ear.
The next time he said that sentence, it was more of a scream. So much so that Changbin, on the other side of the phone, cursed at him for being so loud and asked him to repeat himself. Jisung spent the next hour or so calling all of his friends, giddy about the fact that it was his turn to have a baby, and the best part about it? He gets to have a baby with you, the most important person in the world. The person who hung the stars, who holds the entire world in the palm of their hands. You. He gets to do this with you, and that’s all he could ask for.
By month three, he has the hospital bag packed (“We need to be prepared!” He said as he stuffed a quokka doll in the overpacked duffel bag). By month five, he had already read every new parent book he could find at the local bookstore. By month eight, you could place him in the middle of a delivery room and he would know exactly what to do. The amount of knowledge he retained in such a short amount of time was so impressive, and it really worked out in the end.
Your doctor commented that she had never had such a smooth delivery with a patient, and you really had Jisung to thank for it. Not only was he ready, but he knew how to keep you calm, how to support you and make sure you felt as prepared as he did. He helped you up from the bed, to the yoga ball, even to the inflatable pool, which is where you stayed until the baby was born not even an hour later. Sitting behind you in his swim trunks, Jisung held your hand, whispering encouraging words and repeated praises. You were magical, you were strong, and he was completely in awe of you.
His awe transferred over to your daughter. Your perfect, beautiful daughter with the squishiest cheeks anyone has ever seen. She had a full head of dark hair, and even though she was right out of the womb, she looked so much like Jisung it was almost scary. Copy and paste; she was his twin.
The obsession with her began when you told him you were pregnant, and only grew. Jisung practically lived with a baby carrier strapped to his chest, your daughter nuzzled against his chest as he went about his day. Be it the house or the studio, if Jisung was moving about, you could bet the baby was with him.
She was just as attached to him as he was her; the sound of his voice always made her big, brown eyes light up. She slept better when he put her down, did better in public spaces if he held her. They were inseparable, and it made your heart swell. You had front row seats to their love, often getting to be in the middle of their affection. The little family that everyone dreams of was your reality.
It was one of the rare days Jisung couldn’t take her to work with him; they were shooting all day, and frankly his stylist was over cleaning up baby spit up off his clothes. It broke your heart to see the way his eyes watered as lingered at the bedroom door to find an excuse to stay.
“Are you sure you feel well?” He asks you, trying to blink back his tears. “I can stay and make sure you get enough rest.”
You felt fine, there was no reason to ask that, but you could tell he was trying to find something to get him out of work. To let him stay home with his two favorite people in the world. “Ji.” You whisper, trying not to wake the baby asleep on your chest. “We’re going to be alright. Go to work, we’ll be here when you get back.”
He looks down at his feet, shoving shaky hands into his sweatpants. “I just miss you guys already.” And though you can’t see his face clearly, you know the tears have broken, a little sniffle accompanied by his confession.
A promise to FaceTime him later (more than once) is what finally gets him out the door after you kiss his tears away. Leaving her, leaving you, never gets easier. The older your daughter got, the harder it was to be away from her. Especially in such a heavy developmental stage; he was so scared he would miss big moments.
He had missed the first him she rolled over, and the day she started crawling. When he laid next to her on the ground during tummy time, it shocked him when she proceeded to crawl on top of him instead of staying still. Jisung turned his head to you as you stood by the couch.
“I was about to show you the video, but I guess she beat me to it.” You said with a giggle, dropping to the floor next to him to lay with them. She crawled fully onto Jisung’s chest, chubby baby hands grabbing his cheeks and squishing them between her little fingers. And while he was so proud of her, so excited to feel her death grip on his cheeks, he couldn’t help but feel sad that he missed seeing it first.
All day on set, he looked forward to your calls, praying that he didn’t miss anything exciting. So far the day seemed normal, if not dull. You called as you made breakfast, and he watched her refuse a spoonful of mashed pears.
“She doesn’t like them.” He said, eyes shut as they worked on his makeup. “I told you that, but you never listen-“
“She eats them for you!” You said, and he can hear his daughter fussing as you attempt to try again.
“Yeah, well she likes me best.”
When you huffed, he laughed, eyes opening just enough to see a playful pout on your face as you abandoned the pears and tried applesauce instead. You opened your mouth, mimicking the action you wanted the baby to make as you closed in with the spoon. When her lips wrapped around the yellow plastic, you smiled brightly, turning to the camera.
“She never eats applesauce for you.”
He shakes his head, chuckling softly. “Fine, she likes you better.”
“Thanks, I know.”
Both you and Jisung went about your days, him sneakily looking at his phone on set to see if there were any updates. He smiled at the selfies you sent, at the video of her gripping onto your hair and practically ripping it out, and at a clip of her watching one of his music videos, focused on him any time he was on screen. She giggled any time she heard his voice, inching closer to the screen as if she could reach him.
God, he wanted to be home.
Around dinner time, they finally started to wrap up, each member just as antsy to get home to their own families. Jisung was the first one changed and out the door, unable to slow down until he pulled into your neighborhood. The car was barely turned off before he barreled out of it, kicking his shoes off at the garage door and haphazardly throwing his backpack down next to them. Nothing was more important than seeing you two.
He found you in the master bathroom, leaning over the tub that was filled with an abundance of toys, but little water. You were singing to the baby, who was giggling loudly as you gently scrubbed shampoo into her thick hair.
Good. He hadn’t missed much of bath time.
“Hey.” Jisung said, walking over to the tub and kneeling down beside you. You turned to face your fiancé, smiling happily at his arrival. His lips gently brushed against yours, melting away every ounce of worry and stress the day had brought him.
“Hi.” You mumbled before giving him another kiss. “Sorry, I would’ve waited for you but somebody-“ you dramatically turned your head, playfully narrowing your eyes at your daughter, who giggled at the quick almost movement. “-decided she wanted to spit dinner up allllllll over herself.”
Jisung gasped loudly, pulling more laughs out of the child, who seemed too proud of herself. “Not my Squish.”
“Oh, your Squish.” Your own laughs were added in this time, unable to keep a straight face any longer. “Can you hang out with her for a minute? I forgot to grab a towel from her bathroom.”
Silly question - of course he was going to say yes.
Rolling up his sleeves, Jisung took over the bath time routine, clicking his tongue as he turned on the tap for fresh water. “Were you a pain today for mama?”
The smile on her face, which was often compared to his own mischievous smile, was telling enough. Covering his daughter’s eyes, Jisung rinsed the shampoo out of her hair, double checking that it was gone before grabbing a rag. Squeezing the soap onto it, he caught her staring at him. Almost a year old, and everyday, he falls in love with her all over again.
God, what did Jisung do to get so lucky?
“Alright, Squish.” Jisung said once the soap was lathered enough. “Ready for dada to-“
“Dada.”
“Huh?”
The rag dropped into the tub, the impact creating a small splash. Blinking, he stared at his daughter, who was ecstatic about the bubbles created by the rag at her feet. He knows he heard her wrong. There was no way she just-
“Say that again?” Jisung asked, completely forgetting that she’s a baby and isn’t capable of speaking on command.
But, she shocked him again. “Dada.” Blinking at him, she reached out for him while babbling his name over and over.
Jisung scrambled to find his phone before he remembered it was in his bag by the garage. Fuck, you need to hear this. He doesn’t want you to miss this-
“Did you wash her body yet?”
“Dada.”
You paused in your tracks, eyes darting from your daughter to Jisung. “Did she just-“
“She did.” He said, wide eyes still staring at the baby, who, much like her father, could not stop talking.
“Dada, dada, dada-“
The towel is abandoned on the ground as you run over to the tub, dropping down to your original position. Side by side, you and Jisung kneeled over the tub, staring at the baby.
“That’s her first word, Ji.” You whisper, reaching out to unfasten her from the bath seat. She didn’t stop talking, even as you pulled her out. Squirming, she reached out for Jisung, calling his name over and over until he took her from your arms.
He took her from you, shirt soaked as the baby settled in his arms. Awestruck, he rubbed her back, listening to her words because more of a babble, but it was impossible for him not to hear it. He was her first word.
You smiled at him, a hand falling to his cheek and redirecting his attention. When he looked at you, he saw the joyful tears in your eyes, saw the pure adoration you had for the two of them. “I’m so glad you’re home, Ji.”
Lee Felix
People always seemed surprised to find out Felix was a stay at home dad. Before having kids, he was very devoted to his job, often working later hours than necessary and bringing work home with him. He enjoyed his job, but he knew you did as well. So as soon as you surprised him with three sticks and a little stuffed chick, he told his boss that his last day was your due date.
Sure, he loved his job. But he loved you more.
That’s why he was now, very happily, standing in the kitchen making pancakes at 9 am. The five month old slept soundly in the fabric carrier against his chest. Little baby snores filled his ears along with the sound of your three year old’s crayons scraping across her coloring book.
“Bug, what do you want in your pancakes?” Felix softly called.
Your daughter hummed as she thought, then loudly exclaimed: “Chocolate chips!”
Felix laughed and shook his head, grabbing a handful of the semisweet chips and sprinkling them over the pancake.
“Extra, please!”
“Ah, you know you can’t have that much chocolate in the morning.”
She tsked, and for a brief second, Felix wasn’t sure if he was talking to you or your daughter. “But it’s a no school day. Please, daddy?”
Felix was nothing if not whipped.
Laughing softly, he grabbed a small handful and turned to look at your daughter.
“Fine, but don’t tell your mom, okay?”
Your daughter grinned as she nodded in agreement.
Felix swears up and down that she’s a carbon copy of you. From her jaw structure to her hair, all the way to her nose - when he looks at her, he sees you. From the moment he held her, he saw you. If possible, that made him love her even more.
But that smile? That was his. She had his smile, and that was enough for him.
Breakfast went smoothly. Felix decided to save the chocolate chips for your daughter and put blueberries in his. She squealed when she noticed the jar of homemade whipped cream he had placed in the middle of the table (“I helped daddy make this!”) and ended up waking her brother. Somehow, Felix juggled feeding the baby and feeding himself while keeping chocolate (mostly) off your daughter.
Typically, after breakfast, everyone would change out of their jammies into day time clothes. It helped Felix feel more productive, and if they ever needed to leave, he wouldn’t have to wrestle a three year old out of the too-small dinosaur onesie she refuses to take off. Felix decided to switch things up this morning, allowing your daughter to camp out on the living room floor with as many stuffed animals as she wanted and let her watch a movie before they went on their afternoon walk.
Felix enjoyed the simplicity of these kinds of mornings.
Not even halfway through Moana, your daughter was softly snoring at his feet. Felix sat with his back against the couch, on the floor with his children. To his right was the baby, staring up at the dim living room lights from the nursing pillow he was rested on.
“Whatcha looking at, little bug?” He asked in a whisper. The baby’s eyes moved quickly from the lights to his father, staring brightly up at him.
If your daughter had his smile, the smallest child had his eyes. Felix would never grow tired of looking into them.
“Mommy should be home soon.” Felix grabbed the child’s covered foot, shaking it lightly. “She should be here before we go on our walk. Should she come with us?” His fingers danced up the baby belly, softly tickling the sides. “Hm? Do you want mommy to go on a walk with us?”
Your son’s giggles filled the living room, smiling widely as his father tickled him.
That smile? That was yours. And that was Felix’s favorite feature.
Felix was so caught up on making his son laugh that he didn’t hear the front door open. He didn’t hear the way you kicked off your shoes, exhausted from your flight in. He didn’t see you slowly tiptoe into the living room, not wanting to interrupt the giggle party.
He was laughing with his son, smothering the soft baby face with small kisses. Your son squealed, loving every bit of the attention he was getting from his father.
You would hate to interrupt, but you didn’t want to be left out of the party, either.
“What are you two giggly boys doing?” You asked, leaning over the couch to peek at them.
Your son, seeing your head pop up above him, giggled harder. His stubby hands reached up, wanting to be in your embrace. Quickly, you climbed over the couch and sat next to Felix, scooping the baby up and smothering his face with kisses.
“Oh, I missed you so much baby bug.” You said with a content sigh, squeezing your baby into your chest, determined to never let him go.
Felix pressed a soft kiss against the side of your forehead. “Hey, love.”
You smiled, turning to fully face him. He was so close you could count his freckles. “Hi.”
Felix’s left hand reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. Leaning into his touch, you sighed. Your work took you to many places, but no place felt as warm as here did. No place felt as comfortable. As soon as your plane landed at a new destination, you were always ready to leave.
Because any place without Felix, without your babies, wasn’t a place worth being.
Felix kisses you deeply, hand holding your chin steady. He tasted like whipped cream and coffee, smelled like baby soap and his cologne. He brought both hands to your face to kiss you deeper. He wanted you to feel how much he loved you. How much he missed you.
Whenever someone asked Felix why he chose to stay home with his children, the answer was always an easy one.
“I love you.” You whispered against his lips.
He smiled, kissing the tip of your nose.
Because nothing, no job, no person, no place, would ever mean more to him-
“I love you, more.”
Your hand softly touched his cheeks, ready to go in for another kiss, when you heard movement at your feet.
-than the three of you do.
“Mommy?” Your daughter asked, voice groggy with sleep. She crawled up both yours and Felix’s legs, burying her face in your lap.
You smiled, tucking her hair behind her ears as she fell back asleep.
“You know,” you whispered, careful not to disrupt the peace, “she looks like you.”
Kim Seungmin
Seungmin firmly believes you can never be too prepared.
Car won’t start? Don’t worry, Seungmin has jumper cables and his mechanic on speed dial if he can’t get it started for you. Forgot your headphones for a five hour flight? Not sweat; he brought three extra pairs just in case. Stupid hangnail bothering you? Give him a second to find the spare set of clippers he always has. And don’t worry, they’re sanitized after every use.
If anything, you could say that Seungmin is over prepared.
But isn’t it better that way? No more stressing, trying to figure out how to handle a situation that’s just been thrown at you. If Seungmin is there, you have nothing to worry about, because he’s ready. His backup plans have backup plans. You can rest easy knowing he is prepared for the absolute worst at any moment.
Well, every moment, except one.
He knew about your pregnancy before you did. His phone had notified him that your new cycle was due, so he waited for your typical period requests.
“Can we just order in tonight?”
“I ate the last of the popcorn, could you go out and grab more?”
“Minnie, could you pretty please run a hot bath for me?”
As always, he was prepared.
But when days passed with no requests, Seungmin began to think it wasn’t coming.
He came home with two boxes, four tests in total. You were confused - your period was only five days late. It wasn’t that big of a deal. But, knowing how your husband always wants to be prepared, you agreed to take the tests.
You two sat crisscross on the bathroom floor across from each other, tests face down. When the alarm went off, you grabbed two each, counted down from three, and flipped them at the same time.
Four VERY positive tests.
And thus, the baby prep began.
Seungmin read every book he could get his hands on, from what to expect during birth to early childhood development textbooks. He researched different ways to give birth, took notes, and thoroughly discussed every option with you. He watched so many birthing videos, he could probably deliver a baby himself. Seungmin asked all the right questions at every appointment without overstepping, listened to you about what you felt was best, and made sure he was ready for a baby to come at any moment.
The hospital bag was packed at twelve weeks. The nursery? Up at twenty weeks and finished within a day, with the help of Seungmin’s friends.
“Why do I have to build the crib? It’s not my baby.” Jisung whined from the nursery floor.
“Shut up and hand me the screwdriver.” Changbin replied.
Kim Seungmin, prepared for anything.
You were late and growing more frustrated by the day. The back pains were almost unbearable, you bend over to tie your shoe, and why, for the love of god, were you dripping in sweat in the middle of January?
Your doctor set a date for induction, even though you fought her on it.
“We’ll schedule it just in case.” She said, helping you off the exam table. “If he comes sooner, great, but we need to be prepared in case he needs some help.”
“I just would rather him come when he’s ready.”
Your doctor smiled sympathetically at you. “I understand. This is just a backup plan. I can give you some tips on how to naturally induce labor so we can try to avoid medically inducing it.”
And of course, Seungmin made sure you tried every single suggestion.
He even worked them into your nightly routine.
Before dinner, you two would take a 20 minute walk. Seungmin made dinner extra spicy every night, making sure you ate an entire jalapeño pepper with every meal.
And of course, the most effective method: sex.
All the time. Everywhere. Any chance you both got, Seungmin was on you. In the shower, on the couch, in the studio; Seungmin was happy to help you get this baby out.
Even with all his hard work, you were no closer to labor than you were at your last appointment.
Two days until your induction date, and Seungmin’s fingers were lightly tracing circles on the inside of your thigh.
“We don’t have to.” He whispers, placing a soft kiss on your belly.
“I want to.” You said, lightly grabbing his hand. “I want to try.”
Seungmin smiled gently at you, picking up your hand and pressing a firm kiss against it. “I love you.” He whispers, dropping your hand and returning to your thighs. Picking your leg up, he rested your foot on his shoulder and began to pepper kisses on the inside of your thigh. “You’re incredible.” His other hand slowly worked up your other thigh, drawing closer and closer to where you wanted him. “There’s no one else I rather do this with.” Seungmin places one last kiss on your thigh before lowering it down and bringing his head closer towards the middle of your thighs.
“So pretty.” He whispered, then slowly brought two fingers up to your clit.
Then, you screamed.
Seungmin sat up quickly to look at you. He was used to you screaming when he was in between your legs, but this scream was different. It sounded like you were in pain.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, searching your face to try to figure out what happened.
Then, he saw it.
The way you were holding your belly, head thrown back, teeth grinding against each other.
“Fuck.” Seungmin exclaimed, scrabbling out of bed to find his sweatpants. “Fuck, where are my clothes?”
You had read the books with Seungmin, you had watched the videos. You thought you knew what was coming. But, you were never quite as prepared as your husband.
“Fuck, Seungmin, it hurts.” You cried, looking for something to grasp onto.
He had successfully found his pants, grabbing yours before he rushed back to your side.
Squatting by your head, Seungmin grabbed one of your hands and used his other hand to brush the hair that dropped in front of your face back. “Hey, hey, I’m right here. Breathe with me, okay?”
You shook your head. “I can’t. I can’t, Seungmin. I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. I’ll count, okay?”
You squeezed his hand tightly, focusing on the sound of his voice and the way his breath felt against your neck. The contraction slowly faded out once he hit the twentys.
Seungmin kissed the side of your forehead. “I’m so proud of you.” He whispered. “Let me help you get dressed. It’s time to have a baby.”
///
Seungmin expected your labor to last longer. Within an hour of checking in and moving you into a room, your contractions grew in length and the time between shorten. You were pushing before you could even ask for an epidural.
Seungmin never left your side (not that he would even consider it). He held your hand with both hands, encouraging you to squeeze as hard as you needed to. He counted breaths with you, encouraged you, and kept you stable during the entire process.
A few minutes into pushing, in between contractions, you rolled your head to the left to look at him. Hair stuck to your face, tears stained your cheek, your lip was bleeding it from biting it so hard, and Seungmin swore you had never looked more beautiful in your entire life.
Taking a deep breath, you smiled weakly at your husband. “We’re having a baby.” You said, voice raspy from screaming.
Seungmin smiled back, squeezing your hand. “We’re having a baby.”
“I love you so much.” Fresh tears began to roll down your face. “You’re already the best husband, and now-and now-“ your face winced in pain as another contraction hit. Seungmin jumped back in to support mode, helping you ride it out.
A few contractions later, Seungmin heard it. His son.
The baby, bigger than Seungmin thought he would be, was placed on your chest. You let out a cry of both joy and relief, dropping Seungmin’s hand to hold your baby. Sobbing, you held the baby into your chest.
“You’re here. You’re here.” You whispered through your tears, rocking the small child back and forth.
They took your son away before Seungmin had a chance to hold him. It’s okay, he knew that the next steps after birth. He was prepared.
He was always prepared.
An hour and five stitches later, you were soundly sleeping in your hospital bed. You tried to stay awake, wanting to be up when they brought your son back. Seungmin swore he would wake you up and convinced you to nap until then. He spent the hour calling his parents, your parents, his friends - anyone he could get ahold of at two in the morning.
There was a soft knock on the door, and then a nurse let himself in. Seungmin stood up quickly, watching as the nurse rolled the baby’s bed up next to you.
“Congratulations, Mr. Kim.” The nurse whispered, and then excused himself from the room.
Once the nurse was out, Seungmin took off his shirt. He was prepared; he knew skin to skin contact was important for infants.
He stood over his son and stared at him. He had a head full of thick, black hair and the cutest button nose Seungmin had ever seen. He couldn’t believe that he had a hand in creating something so wonderful, so perfect, so beautiful.
Careful as to not wake the baby, Seungmin picked him up and cradled him to his chest. “Hi, peanut.” He said, then placed a soft kiss right on his forehead. “I’m dad.”
Slowly, his son’s eyes opened and found his own.
Seungmin was always prepared.
But nothing - no books, no videos, no parenting classes - could ever prepare him for the love he felt when looking into his child’s eyes. In that moment, Seungmin was unprepared. He didn’t know what to expect.
And it was the best feeling in the world.
Yang Jeongin
If Jeongin had to describe his son’s first day of kindergarten in one word, it would be: unfortunate. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.
The morning started out fine; everyone woke up on a time and was in a good mood. You and Jeongin even woke up with enough time to slip into the shower together before waking up your son for the day. Typically, fucking you dumb first thing in the morning is the sign of a good day. He really had no idea that it was just downhill from there.
You decided to wake your son up since you had to slip out to work early. Time with him today was precious, and Jeongin knew you would be a ball of tears if you didn’t get one on one time. So he took breakfast duty, determined to make an omelet as good as you do.
He was doing well; the topping fit perfectly, he folded it beautifully. For his first time, he was excelling. Maybe he should take a picture and brag about it in his group chat. There’s no way Hyunjin can make an omelet like this-
“What’s burning?”
Ah, fuck.
The omelet was too far gone, there was nothing he could do to save it. Scraping it, Jeongin decided to try his luck again, only to ruin it immediately. Whatever, sugary cereal is a great first day of school ever breakfast, right?
Your son certainly thinks so. When Jeongin places the bowl in front of him, the black haired boy smiles widely before shoveling the cinnamon cereal in his mouth.
“Slow down.” You say with a chuckle, placing a sliced apple on a plate next to his bowl. “You’re going to get sick.”
When he eats, you can tell he’s Jeongin’s son; cheeks puffed and full as he takes large bites. Round eyes look at you, silently pouting at your request. It’s too good to slow down. Besides, his father eats like this, why can’t he?
You look across the table at Jeongin, pointing at your son with your thumb. “This is your fault.”
He looked up from his breakfast, cheeks just as full and eyes just as large. A mirror image of his son, large bites and all. It makes you chuckle, even if you fear that they’re going to choke every time they eat.
Once breakfast is finished and the dishes are put away, it's time for you to go to work, and Jeongin to take your son to school.
“Mommy, no-“ your son whines, squirming away as you try to fix his uniform. “Don’t wanna take a picture.”
“Please, bubba? Just one, and then you and papa can-“
“No!” He fusses, moving out of your grasp. Sadly, you drop your arms in defeat. You’re not going to force him to do something that makes him uncomfortable, no matter how upset it makes you.
You look at Jeongin, who was watching this unfold from the garage door. He saw the tears in your eyes - both from having to leave and the rejection.
“It’s fine that you don’t want a picture, but can I at least have a hug?” You ask your son, not knowing if you can handle another no on a big day.
Luckily, your son crashed into your arms and hung tightly onto you. You kissed the top of his head, savoring his sweet hug before he complained about you squeezing him too tight.
Saying goodbye at the car was hard for you, lingering at his window for far too long to get one last look at him before school. Jeongin waited patiently until you stood to your full height. Your husband grabbed you, pulling you into a hug.
“It’s just school.” Jeongin whispered in your ear. “He’ll be back in a few hours.”
You nod your head, sniffling against his shoulder. “It’s just hard, ya know? He’s not a baby anymore.”
The last sentence made his heart sink, your emotions beginning to rub off on him. Quickly, he shoved the feeling to the back of his mind for both your sanity and his. “He’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”
“Will you?”
A fantastic question, one that he wished he could answer, but was cut off by the impatient five year old in the backseat. You said goodbye one more time, fussing over the buttons on your son’s shirt before slipping in your car. Jeongin followed suit, leaving the garage right after you.
The goodbyes had set them back just a bit, but that was okay. The school was only a ten minute drive, and they still had plenty of time to-
“Papa?” His son chimed from the back. “I don’t have my backpack.”
Okay, so maybe they’ll be a little bit later than expected. Jeongin turned the car around, back home in less than a minute. The backpack was sitting by the garage door, making it easy to grab it and throw it in the passenger seat.
“Alright, all-“
“What about my foxy?”
Jeongin sighed, turning around in his seat to look at his son. “Foxy can’t come to school with you, Bubba. We talked about this-“
“But I need him.”
“Foxes don’t go to school. They stay at home where mama and papa can-“
“No! Need him!” His son cried, kicking the backseat. This wasn’t like him; typically the quietest, most mild mannered child, your son rarely threw fits. Jeongin knows it’s because of what today is, but he was determined to stand his ground. The fox was staying home-
-until he felt a shoe hit the back of his head as he tried to pull out of the garage for a second time that morning. Fine. The fucking fox can come.
Third time’s a charm, right? There were no hiccups this time as Jeongin left the house, Bubba happily humming in the backseat along with the music. Foxy was snug against his chest, a happy smile on his face. He might be missing a shoe, but hey, at least he’s happy.
And Jeongin can still make it on time. There shouldn’t be any more interruptions, now that his son is happy and he’s actually on the road. Everything should be smooth sailing from now on.
Of course there’s stand still traffic. Why wouldn’t there be?
Jeongin’s head hits the headrest, a groan leaving his lips as he rubs his face. This was not how today was supposed to go. First the omelet, then the picture, the backpack and the damn fox, and Jeongin’s pretty sure he has a headache from being hit with the shoe.
“Papa?”
“Hm?” He grunts into his hands.
“Why aren’t we moving?”
Sighing, Jeongin drops his hands, moving them back to the steering wheel. “Good question.” He mumbles mostly to himself.
For ten minutes, they stayed completely still, both slowly losing their patience. The Jeongin look-a-like was losing control faster than his father, kicking the back of his seat in protest. Like Jeongin could do anything about the traffic.
Right as Jeongin was about to say fuck school and turn around, the car in front of him moved. Whatever had been holding them up was over, a steady stream of cars now flowing into the school’s parking lot.
Jeongin finds the first parking spot at the back of the lot, quickly getting out of the car. He picks his son up, sitting him on the roof and putting his shoe back on (much to his son’s protest). Once it was on, he narrowed his eyes at the boy.
“I need you to give me Foxy now.” He said firmly, leaving no room for argument.
Fear flushed his face, tiny fist gripping onto the fox’s white fur. “No. He has to go to school too.”
“Bubba-“ But when his son started lifting his foot like he was about to kick, he realized the damn fox wasn’t worth it. Jeongin would much rather get chewed out by the teacher, and you, than take a tiny foot to the face at 8:00 am. “Fine. But you have to take a picture for mama.”
The bribe worked - the innocent smile he gave the camera in front of the school made Jeongin roll his eyes. They walked into the school hand and hand, Bubba hiding behind Jeongin’s leg as they closed in on his classroom.
They stood in the line of parents, and before they could blink, it was their turn. Jeongin squatted down, eye level with his son, who was nervously holding onto his stuffed animal.
“Hey, Bubba.” Jeongin said softly, a hand reaching out to pat his head. “You okay?”
His son shook his head, burying his face in the fox. “I’m scared, Papa. Wanna go home-“
Jeongin felt his lip tremble as he looked at his son, who had been on his last damn nerve all morning. His sweet, nervous boy, who was acting out because of the newness of it all. His heart softened, and suddenly, his head stopped aching, every nerve easing.
“I know.” He whispers, smoothing his son’s hair. “I’m scared, too. You’re so much braver than Papa, I couldn’t ever do this.” His eyes began to sting, pride filling his heart. When did his baby get so big? “Do you want me to walk you in?”
His son looked inside the classroom, wide eyes scanning the room. Slowly, he shook his head no before looking back at his father. “No, I do it.”
Jeongin nodded. “Hug?”
The fox lessened the blow of his son’s crash. Jeongin held tightly until his son squirmed free, his wide eyes no longer nervous.
“I love you, Papa.”
That’s when the first tear fell. “I love you, too, Bubba.”
He watched as his son sprinted into the classroom, making a beeline to the musical instruments in the corner of the room. Lingering for just a second, he watched his son turn to the little girl next to him, excitedly giving her his name before asking if she wanted to play with him.
Jeongin’s heart ached in the best way possible as forced himself to walk away, silently crying as he left his son behind. It was silly - he’s going to be back here in a few hours to pick him up. There’s no reason to be so-
His phone pinged, announcing a text from you. When he pulled out his phone, the picture taken just moments ago was still up.
Everything went wrong today, so many hiccups in a day that should’ve been so easy. Yet, no matter how badly everything went, he wouldn’t trade a second of this day for anything. Even he can’t seem to stop crying.
©: chvnnie 2022
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