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marvel-ous-m · 1 year

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Eddie Munson's Guide for How to Adopt a Jock in Four Easy Steps (1/5)

Part Two

Eddie Munson is many things, but he is not the kind of guy who will kick someone while they’re down.

Call it a hero complex, call it too many hours spent licking his wounds after particularly harsh words from a bully- whatever name you give it, Eddie is vehemently against hurting someone who's clearly already hurting, no matter how much he may hate that individual.

Which is why, in early November of ‘84, Eddie hatches a plan.

It starts in the library, as most of his brilliant ideas do. He’s spending his lunch hour pouring over a borrowed fantasy novel to try and get ideas for NPC’s for his latest campaign with Hellfire, but he gets distracted by a loud thump and a whispered ‘shit’, followed by a sniff. Eddie turns, book still in hand, and proceeds to drop the book onto the carpeted floor of the library in shock.

Because there is Steve Harrington- face beat to hell, hands shakily holding on to a lunch tray, and a salad spewed in all directions at his feet. The librarian- Ms. Boliene (a bitch to everyone other than her outcasts)- began cussing Steve out, demanding he pick up the salad, and Steve got a glossy look in his eye that told Eddie that he was about two seconds from breaking down in tears.

Which- honestly, that was probably the strangest part of this whole ordeal. Steve was King of Hawkins High (and maybe, Eddie theorized, was was the operative word there). Steve had been on a downward slope of popularity since last year when he and Tommy had their falling out. Billy Hargrove (barf) had been getting more and more popular, and, after last weekend, there was a rumor going around that Steve’s girlfriend, Nancy, broke up with him then immediately hooked up with Jonathan Byers.

(Hey, Eddie’s always one to root for the outcasts, he is one, after all- but kinda a dick move, Wheeler. Also, not great of Byers to agree to something like that, especially if he knew about the situation.)

Eddie focused his attention back on the scene in front of him- Steve was now crouching down to pile the wasted salad onto his lunch tray and was blinking rapidly, trying to stave off tears. His head was also doing this thing where it was dipping forward than instantly picking up, like he was trying to even stay awake. Which… huh.

Eddie was sure at this point- this was the lowest he’d ever seen someone get. Even his dad after his mom passed wasn’t like this- at least that bastard could still go out and break shit and get arrested. Steve looked like the only thing he wanted to do at this point was fall apart. Why was he even at school?

Eddie sighed and stood, crossing the room to where Steve was crouching. He gently batted Steve’s hands away and finished cleaning up his lunch, tossing it (and the plastic tray- because fuck this school, honestly) into the large garbage can sitting by the front door of the library. When he turned around Steve was standing, looking a bit shell-shocked. “I… that was my lunch.”

“The floor salad was your lunch? I could believe that before you dropped it, but after? Dude, that’s a low that you cannot reach. I have an extra sandwich in my bag, c’mon.”

Eddie grabbed Steve’s arm, letting go immediately when he felt the whole-body flinch that Harrington gave. Eddie held his hands up, backing up towards the table where he was sitting previously. “I won’t touch you, but you should probably eat, Harrington. I’m extending the metaphorical olive branch in the form of food, I promise that I’m not gonna bite your head off.”

Steve assessed the situation, eyes darting around the library, before he finally nodded and joined Eddie at his table, sitting across from the spot where all of his materials were strewn about. Eddie grabbed his book from the floor and ripped into his backpack, pulling his lunch out and passing it to Steve. (It wasn’t really an extra sandwich, it was his lunch, but it was fine. Jeff always brought snacks to Hellfire and Eddie wasn’t even that hungry today).

Steve stared at the cling-wrapped sandwich in shock, then carefully set to unwrapping it. Eddie noticed a slight tremor in his hands, but decided against commenting on it. “So, uh… what happened?” Fuck, Eddie, abort, abort, that was literally the last goddamn thing you were supposed to ask.

“Um…” Steve finished unwrapping the sandwich, pulling the bread slices apart. “Bologna?”

“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it. I know it probably goes against your rich folk sensibilities, but I promise it’s worth a try.”

“Yeah.” Steve took a bite of the sandwich, then washed it down with the bottle of water Eddie slid his way. “S’not my first time having bologna and it won’t be my last. Not bad, though.” Steve set the sandwich down, licking his lips. “Thank you, by the way. Eddie, right? You played at battle of the bands last year?”

Eddie blinked in surprise. The change in conversation topic made him totally forget his previous question. “Um- yeah, that was me. Me and the boys- Corroded Coffin. Not your thing?”

“No! I liked it, actually. Very ‘stick it to the man’. I can get behind that.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow at Steve, to which he received a responding chuckle. “My dad- he’s an asshole.” oh shit, did Steve’s dad do this?

Eddie’s expression must have shifted, because Steve immediately started rambling. “Shit- no, fuck, I know what you’re thinking, he didn’t do this, my parents have been out of town for like, three months. This was Billy- but it’s fine, really! Like, I can see, and I’m not super dizzy, I’m just a little lacking in coordination which- yeah, the lunch tray. You know what? I’m gonna shut up now.” Steve took another bite of the sandwich and another swig of water, and Eddie noted that Steve’s knee began to bounce up and down.

Eddie decided to push everything aside and deal with it later. Apparently this wound was still fresh (both emotionally and physically), and while Eddie could get into a number of things that Steve just spewed out (his parents have been gone for three months? Billy did this? Steve is halfway to falling over but he’s still at school?!) Eddie elected to change the subject.

“So, Steve, do you know anything about D&D?” Steve’s eyes lit up and he launched into a rant about a couple of kids that he hung around. Eddie listened with a small smirk on his face, eyebrow raised.

Steve was… different than expected. Kind, a little awkward, anxious. There’s only one reason that a jock like him has lunch in the library, and it’s because he didn’t have anyone left to sit with in the Cafeteria. He reminded Eddie of an abandoned dog… specifically a golden retriever with Steve’s eyes and his floppy hair.

Curse Eddie’s big heart and savior complex, but he knew what he had to do. Steve was about to become the newest member of Eddie’s little herd of lost sheep, whether he liked it or not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I haven’t decided if I’m going to write a part 2- let me know if you’d be interested in one! I’m so glad to be back to writing after a very long semester of school. I should be writing a lot this summer, so drop some prompts in my ask if you want to see something specific!

#steddie #stranger things #Steve Harrington #Eddie munson #pre s4 meeting #<- top 5 favorite steddie tropes #my writing #once again my writing style fluctuates but this is my stream of consciousness so you just have to deal with it #stranger things fic #stranger things ticket #st fic #st ficlet

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lucidloving · 25 days

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I learned how to be quiet about pain when I was very young. I learned how to fold in on myself like laundry, to take up less space in the cupboard. I learned how to keep the peace around me by sweeping the dirt under my own rug.

I have been taught that expressing my less favourable emotions is just complaining—something weak people do when they're too incompetent to solve their own problems.

Incompetent. Incompetent. This word is very important to me. Incompetent is the word I am always running from. To run from incompetency means to run from feeling dejected, feeling lost, feeling hurt. To run from incompetency is to run towards goodness. To run towards a me who knows all the answers and shoulders all the burdens and shrugs off all the pain.

Some days I am not very good at this race I am running. Days when the past lurches forward to bite my ankles, or days when the future looks back to scorn my present.

On these days I am weak. The poise slips. It's all too easy to cry a little and vent my fears. I forget that I am supposed to be keeping all of this shut away where no one else can see. I forget that I am not supposed to be dragged down by these feelings in the first place.

Today I feigned nonchalance and I feigned it well. No one noticed that I was hurt by the thing that happened, and sitting alone in all my hurt, I was bitterly gratified. I had fulfilled the proper narrative of an animal who is injured and returns to its cave to lick its wounds only in private.

But there is a desperation for the hidden pain to be noticed. This is the Achilles' Heel of the whole stealth operation; it threatens the little play I have constructed in which I suffer alone and inconvenience no one and am all the stronger for it.

Today I stood upright to talk to my mother and doubled over in pain the moment she left the room. It is satisfying, knowing I did the valiant and honourable thing of keeping the damn pain to myself. It is infuriating, the way my eyes flickered to the door in the dark and private hope that she would come back in and witness me while I was down.

I want to be strong and hide all the hard things away. I want someone to see my efforts to hide all the hard things away and realise I'm strong. I want to bring to life this character I have created who suffers without complaint and is loved when the truth is revealed. Who suffers well.

This is the person who stores up agony to a breaking point, to justify the ultimate snapping of composure. This is the person who wants to be depended on relentlessly and one-sidedly, so that someone someday might notice the unfairness of it all. This is the person who virtuously and righteously take all the hits without a sound, so that when they finally, inevitably break, their pain will come to light all at once and inspire awe and guilt in equal measure.

Who am I, really? Is it terrible to want to play this character? Perhaps some old wound craves acknowledgement and understanding and doesn't know how else to ask for it except by hiding until it festers.

Strength. Competency. Resilience. Dependability. Independence. They have all become synonyms in my black and white dictionary. They have all become straws for the drowning man.

I self-impose silence. I take pleasure in denial and secrecy. I take pride in successfully keeping a problem to myself.

Pride. That's another important word. I think I have too much of it, although it pains me when others point it out. Pride implies I think highly of myself, which is something a good person should never do. Pride is so audaciously self-absorbed, so high-and-mighty, so filthy with ego. There's probably a lot of it in this damn thing I've written.

Pride is the other thing that keeps my mouth shut. The thing that says I should be austere, untouchable, immovable. Pride is the thing that says look here, you don't have a lot going for you so you better keep this mask on right if you want to be good. If you want to be admired.

These terrible things keep me safe. I can't let go of that stupidly noble character or that cowardly pride. I need them to shield me from the reality that I am emotional, not all that put together, and honestly hopeless most of the time.

I need to have something worth liking about myself. I need to have a grit that makes me undeniably good. I need to have a strength that goes unsung, that lies in wait of discovery.

What an exhausting way to live. But it's the only way I know.

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lizzieisright · 10 months

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if you wrote that backstory idk dude maybe i’d kiss you

alpha abby >>

Honestly I wrote it and for some reason it gives me Pride and Prejudice vibes idk idk

alpha!Abby x omega!reader, just two paragraphs of smut (MDNI), alpha!Abby is sweet eventually, mention of heats/ruts, written on a knee without editing, backstory for these idiots.

-/-/-/-/-/-

When Abby meets you she is baffled. It sounds incredibly arrogant but the fact that her alpha presence doesn't do shit to you offends her. Abby is not used to an omega who doesn't try to impress her and she knows she is being the worst fuckboy stereotype but it genuinely throws her for a loop. You just look at her like Abby is not, well, fucking Abby. Like her scent doesn't make you want to arch your back and present yourself for her.

And listen, Abby is self-aware enough that she knows not all omegas will like her. It's just. It never happened before. And Abby also is not an idiot who will try to win you over or something - yeah, her ego was bruised but that was just how life is.

The problem with this starts later, when you're paired for patrol. Abby is so used to being bossy and barking at everyone because omegas will listen and alphas won't dare to challenge her; she doesn't really care if she is being polite to you.

But you care, judging by your raised eyebrows and angry looks when Abby gives you orders like you're her little soldier.

And then Abby accidentally makes you absolutely fucking hate her, because she grabs you. She tugs you like a ragdoll to get you out of what she thought as a dangerous way, and she ends up with a knife at her throat.

You look at her angrily and press your knife harder until she gets the hint, and Abby lets you go.

"Do that again Anderson and I'll kill you. Don't fucking touch me like that." You growl and Abby, instead of being a normal person, frowns and gets aggressive.

"You were going to fall, idiot, I was saving you." Abby huffs and gets closer, daring you to challenge her.

"I don't need you to save me." You growl in her face, not backing down, and Abby's eyes flash red, because omegas don't speak to her like that.

You stare back at Abby even though it's hard, standing up to an angry alpha with such suffocating presence is very fucking hard, but you're also very pissed off, so you stand your ground even though it physically hurts to defy an alpha, but you don't care about pain right now.

The stare down ends because there's a crack in the woods and you both get alert, looking around. You grab your knife tighter and Abby instinctively moves to shield you, but nothing comes out to attack you.

So you finish your patrol in total silence.

That's how you become easily the only omega in the stadium who doesn't like Abby Anderson. The fact that Abby is also extremely attractive and her scent is intoxicating only fuels your spite. The fact that her dick is so good there's fucking competitions to spend her rut with her only makes it worse.

To be fair Abby looks miserable in pre-rut so you find some sympathy for her. But not after you hear another omega bragging about how good Abby is in bed. Then you're back to despising her.

Abby's presence is something you have to train yourself to get used to, refusing to get under her influence, but it gets so much easier once you can let her stare you down across the room and be absolutely calm about it. Abby stares at you a lot, especially if she thinks you fucked up, but you stare back and don’t let her win this. It’s not even aggressive or challenging by this point and it feels like some kind of ritual between you two.

Abby, on the other hand, learns to be more nice to you. She is polite to you and she doesn't touch you again. Sometimes you can even have a normal conversation. You hate it, because Abby is not a total asshole of an alpha and you don’t have an excuse to be mean to her, even though you really want to - it’s the only barrier you have to keep yourself from falling for her. But Abby is genuinely trying and not because she wants to knot you, but because she can't stand having you in distress around her.

For some reason Abby cares for you and your well-being, she wants you to be comfortable in her company, and yeah, this is weird and Abby’s never felt like that, but when she sees how your shoulders relax when she gets closer to cover you during patrol Abby feels like she won this life.

Then your heat comes. It comes so fucking unexpected you have trouble breathing, panting and chocking on air as you desperately try to make your way to a safe space, because you know all too well what can happen when there's an omega in heat walking around.

But it's so fucking hard to walk and you feel your slick coming down your thighs and everything fucking hurts because you need an alpha, so you clutch your knife and barely make it to some fucking corner to catch your breath.

That is how Abby finds you. She caught your scent and all her senses went into overdrive because you're in heat and you're in distress and all Abby hears in her head is HelpHelpHelpMakeitgoawayHelp and she is making her way to you, her eyes are red because she can't fucking control it now, you're hurting and she needs it to go away and make it better-

You're sitting on the floor, panting, and you hold your knife right in front of your face with trembling hands because this is not happening. Abby smells like heaven and this is not happening.

"Fuck." Abby sighs and she reacts way too hard to your scent, because your distress just got worse. "I won't hurt you, let me help." Abby pleads and you use your legs to get away from her, pushing yourself back into a corner but there's only a wall.

"Stay the fuck away from me." You growl and clutch your knife harder. "Get the fuck away, Abby."

You're terrified and Abby can't handle it. She's never seen an omega in such a state, and her brain immediately shifts into protective mode.

"I'm not going to touch you." But fuck she wants to. "You need to get to your room. I'll help you."

"No-no-no-no. Leave me alone." But you feel your arms grow weaker and the pain getting worse.

"I'll make it better, okay?" Abby's eyes are red and you can hear it. You can hear it in her voice, what she is going to do and you start crying.

"Abby, no please, no. Don't do this." You plead her, but Abby gets closer to you anyway.

"Relax." Abby says in her alpha voice and you immediately go pliant against your will. Your brain is fuzzy and you feel so much better, the thoughts are only filled with alphaalphaalpha and how good Abby smells and how good her hands feel on your waist and knees and you cling to her like she's a life line. "I'm not going to do anything. I'll carry you to your room and that's it, okay?"

"Alpha." You plead and bury your nose in her scent glands and Abby has to stop and take a breath and it only makes it worse because the air is filled with your smell.

But then Abby is hit with your terrified teary eyes from a minute ago and she doesn't want to be someone you're so afraid of. So she carries you to your room and hopes your own place will ground you.

Your place makes it worse for her though, because your scent is everywhere and you're still clinging to her and calling her alpha and she doesn't know what to fucking do.

So Abby does what humans do to cats: she carries to the bathroom and puts your head under the stream of cold water, which actually works and you spit curses at her.

"What the fuck!" You scream and Abby lets you go. You're sitting on your bathroom floor, wet and cold and angry, but your head feels clearer. You look up at Abby, whose eyes are red and she is so tense you see veins on her arms. You tense too: you have no idea what to expect. "Abby-"

"I won't hurt you." Abby growls and you search for your knife again. "I just. I can't leave you."

And Abby looks almost guilty. It clicks and you feel affection overflowing your heart despite your better judgment - now that your mind is on heat leave you can't fight your feelings. Abby is so deep in protective mode she literally can't move because in her head she is a threat too - you knew it could happen, you just didn't expect it to happen to Abby.

"Relax, alpha." You tell her to free her from it, and Abby relaxes immediately. "Now can you leave?"

Abby knows it's the right thing to do - you aren't even friends and you're vulnerable and she is a threat whether she wants it or not, but it still hurts.

"Were you- did you really think I'd do something to you?"

"With alphas you never know." You answer vaguely and honestly? It hurts even more. Abby doesn't want to be that kind of alpha to you.

What Abby can't stop herself from doing is sitting outside your door like a dog and guarding you during your heat. Your words really hit her and her instinct to protect you skyrocketed.

And you know she is there, the heavy suffocating scent filling your nostrils as you desperately cling to your pillow, but Abby smells so strongly of protection it actually eases up the anxiety you have when you're alone in heat and you can't bring yourself to go up and tell her to fuck off.

(You're also afraid you'll jump Abby the moment you see her again because Abby is the best alpha you know and right now she is sitting outside your door protecting you)

(Abby sits there for three days and the way your scent is full of safe keeps her sane, makes it all worth it)

After that you awkwardly thank Abby and she awkwardly apologises for scaring you. The ice between you melts and now when you're paired for patrol it is actually fun. It's still strange to have Abby in constant protection mode, but now you find it sweet.

Now you find her heavy scent comforting and safe and you seek it out every time you're close. Abby is no better, her head fucking snapping in your direction every time she smells you.

So the awkward courting begins. Abby cautiously attempts to care for you, scared to end up with a knife to her throat again, but you're actually way nicer to her now, taking her jacket when she offers, letting her carry things for you, letting her re-check your guns (after asking if she can). Abby feels hopeful.

Abby asks you out, ridiculously nervous because you can reject her without a second thought, but you actually say yes.

You go on a date and Abby barely keeps her hands off you, but she gets close enough for your scents to mix and you're not stupid, you notice it and snuggle into her side, rendering Abby speechless.

She feels like an idiot around you.

On the third date Abby kisses you and your scent gets immediately happy and you refuse to feel embarrassed about it because Abby smells the same.

It'd been a month since you started dating and you notice how aggressively territorial Abby gets, how her scent gets heavier and how often her eyes become red all of a sudden. It means Abby's rut is close.

Abby is exhausted and you do as much as you can to provide comfort for her, desperate to make her feel better.

"Your rut is coming."

"Yeah."

"What's the plan?"

"You don't have to spend it with me." Abby tells you, because she is afraid she'll hurt you. Alphas in rut are rough and unrelenting and Abby is not an exception. "Hell, I don't want you to, if it means you'll get hurt. Especially since-" Since you haven't had sex yet.

You don't know why, but that is just the pace of your relationship and you're fine with it. What you're not fine with is Abby hurting.

"I don't think you'll ever hurt me. I'd like to be there with you, if you're okay with it."

"You won't be able to stop me."

"Don't threaten me with a good time." You smirk, but Abby's eyes turn red and you feel yourself getting wet.

"Fuck, sweetheart." Abby buries her face in your neck and you shiver, because her teeth are close.

That's how you end up face down ass up on Abby's bed, getting fucked so hard you'll have bruises just from Abby's thrusts tomorrow, not counting her grip on your hips. The room is so heavy with her pheromones you're almost choking on it, your head is empty except for alphaalphaalpha breedmbitememarkme and Abby's low growling of "mine" at every thrust, her fangs scraping over your neck.

And you think you can't take it anymore because Abby is relentless, she is rough, but then her grunts start to get louder and her pace gets sloppy - she is close and you spread your thighs because you know what's coming.

Abby knots you and it's so fucking much, she is big enough as it is and her knot is even bigger but it makes you see stars and you scream her name. Abby growls into your ear and you can’t help but arch into her, submitting to her.

Later, when Abby catches the break from being insanely horny, she assesses all the damage she did to you and it makes her sad - she doesn’t like the bruises on you. She gently kisses all of them as if she is apologising and you just bask in her touch and care, smelling so happy and satisfied Abby starts to feel better about it.

Can you sit properly after Abby’s rut? No. Do you enjoy the sting of pain every time you sit? Yes. Does Abby follow you like a puppy to make sure you're okay? Yes.

Abby is still the same intimidating mean alpha but now you like it. Now you watch her stare down alphas who even dare to turn their noses in your direction and you get happy. Abby is possessive as fuck and she makes sure you always have her scent on you and you're no better, wearing her clothes just to make her wear it after you so Abby'd smell like you, but both of you don't rush with the mating bite until a year later when Abby is gently taking you apart during your heat and you sink your teeth into her shoulder.

You cry because you think Abby'll get mad at you (fuck you heat hormones for making you so sensitive, you get so embarrassed later), but Abby kisses you and tells you how happy you made her and how she can't wait to have you sober to give you your mark.

You carry Abby's bite on your inner thigh.

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #alpha!abby #abby anderson #abby tlou #idk this is stream of consciousness #but I enjoyed writing this a lot #did I steal some dialogue from my alpha oc? yes I did

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toasteaa · 2 months

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Slightly exhausted, just a bit tipsy, and on my way to think about Neuvillette's reactions to receiving a genuine compliment. Specifically about his eyes. Because every compliment he's received has always been about some kind of learned behavior - his composure, his eloquence, his authority in court - and never about, well, himself. Especially not his eyes.

No, those were usually met with disdain, fear, or a general uneasiness. Even the most well meaning humans can't hold his gaze for very long - and the list of those that can is even shorter. It's something he's made peace with: catching the Iudex's eye is something most (if not all) Fontainians seek to avoid. Whether it's in the courtroom or on the street, Neuvillette's gaze is cold and impassive; aloof and indifferent to the passing of time around him.

Except..it isn't.

He's observant, curious; he casts a critical eye not in the case of judgement, but for the sake of his own lack of understanding. There's an innocence there -- no, not innocence. Even in your tipsy babbles, you had used the term "inexperience" to describe the heavily veiled emotion there. A barely there hint of softness - one that was most often seen when he spoke with the Melusines and rarely (yet with increased frequency) directed towards you.

Neuvillette finds it...unnerving in a sense. Not in a particularly negative way, but one that brings him a strange sense of calm. Peace bordering on comfort. For someone to notice his mannerisms and behaviors and see them not as the immortal eccentricities of the Chief Justice, but as features that make him who he is...well, he's not exactly sure how to feel about it. Perhaps it's because he doesn't understand how he's supposed to feel about this - about being known in such a rarely intimate way. And perhaps to you it isn't as intimate as it is in his mind (a feeling he hopes isn't as visible as the other emotions you've been able to find in his eyes) but he cannot help but hope that it is.

To have his own questions and curiosities met not with anxiety, but with genuine enthusiasm is already a shift for him. To then be seen by you - known by you - not as the Iudex of Fontaine or even as the Hydro Sovereign but as Neuvillette...he will have to take some time for himself to understand it.

But for now, he'll meet your eyes and give you a slight nod; a small acknowledgment and murmured "thank you" in response to your compliment. For now, he'll just have to hope that his veil of impartiality is enough to continue to hide these thoughts.

For now...for now.

#toast talks #genshin impacted #I'm not actually tipsy but I wrote this when I was SO -#I started reading this draft at work and then he invaded my brain again so have some more Neuvillette stream of consciousness #For a bitch that can't look anyone in the eye without blushing I sure do love writing about hidden emotions in eyes #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette x you #neuvilette x reader #neuvilette x you #every time I have to spell his name wrong for the tags I die a little more inside #I'm so sorry my love everyone forgets that there are two l's in your name 😔

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mothprincess · 1 year

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— serena crane, girls girls girls

#quick stream of consciousness poem #oof i'm loving repeating words as u can see #my writing #serena crane #the orangery literary society #poetry #poets on tumblr

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antiromantic-catgirl · 4 months

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i was bullied a lot by my older siblings when i was younger and rn i'm thinking about hatefucking so i wanna combine the two.

TW: snuff mention, breathplay, dubcon, incest, cis characters

i'm in a screaming match with my brother, and we're lucky our parents aren't home to hear it. i just KNOW he read my diary, why else would he be saying those things? i've never even said it out loud.. "you fucking freak i can't believe you would just trash my shit like that!! it's my entire fucking life you bitch!!" i hate him so much right now, but for some reason... it's still turning me on. i manage to keep screaming "you're fucking lying i know you read it! you asshole!! you could just shut up about it if you don't-" (-like me back) and i'm about ready to smack him when i notice his bulge is growing. it stops me in my tracks, and he notices me staring. that's when my whole world flips upside down, because my brother, who i've been crushing on since preschool, finally looks at me the way he's looked at all those girls i watched him play with while i hid in the closet. and it's the most perfect moment of my life, when he pins me to the wall by my chest. his hand is so close to my breast, i can tell he's thinking about it... but then i remember all the shit he just said to me, and i want to break his fucking wrist.

he says "you fucking creep" as he plants a very rough, hate-filled kiss on my lips. i feel my brother's bulge digging into my lower belly and i just spit out "finally" and drag him to the bed. for some reason he still needs to crack jokes like an douchebag "this whole time! my bitch sister really did have a-" i backhand him before he can finish, and shove him on the bed. he tries to sit up but i pin him back down, one hand on his throat, the other snaking down his torso toward his belt. and i kiss him, it's still rough and angry, but at least i don't feel our teeth hit each other this time. i even manage to slip my tongue between my brother's lips, for a moment. i can undo his belt without looking because we've been stealing each other's clothes forever, a closeness you only really get with family.

i assumed he would pull off his own pants, but apparently he'd been focused on working up the nerve to put his hands on my ass. "now who's the creep?" i smirk at him. there's a hungry look in his eyes when he grabs me and flips us so he's on top. "you're the one making me do this, freak" he rips my top off, but i have to help him with my bra. i start pulling my pants down too, but he interrupts me. i don't mind though, because his hot mouth on my breast melts everything away. i just can't help tossing my head back and moaning, ready to drop all the anger and just... he bites it. hard. "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE" and i knee him in the stomach. he coughs out "Bitch" before i'm on top again, ripping his pants and underwear off.

i hardly get to enjoy seeing my brother's cock up close for the first time, but i just need it to happen already. i've waited too long. my prick of a brother was never going to let this be anything more than a joke or a fight. so i'm choosing a fight, and i'm going to win. and then he'll be mine. so i keep both hands locked around his throat and stare deep into my brother's eyes as i lower myself onto his cock. i've used toys before, but nothing really prepares you for the real thing. it slips in and fills me like we were made to fit together. my brother has a look of almost horror in his eyes, i wonder if he somehow thought we were 'just joking' until now. i don't care, though. i plant another harsh kiss on his lips, my hands still blocking bloodflow to his brain, and my cunt still tightly wrapped around his other brain. i pull away and say "you're mine now, aren't you?" and move my hands to his shoulders, watching his mind run around in circles as he comes back from being choked half to death. before he's fully back, i pull myself up and drop back on his cock like i'm trying to crush him. he's too out of it to keep his jokey facade, and he makes the sweetest moan i've ever heard. i keep doing it, pounding on him over and over, just to be sure he knows who's in control, hoping to hear that moan again. but after a while it's really hard for me not to be overwhelmed by it too. his cock is ramming straight into my g spot, it's like it was designed for me, his body built to pleasure mine... but if i don't slow down, i might cum before he does, and i can't have that. so i adjust, trying to find some position where i won't immediately orgasm, but he sees what's happening and takes advantage.

my brother grabs my hair and shoves my face into a pillow, and then i feel his hands pulling on my hips and a cold breeze of air on my cunt. ugh, of course my creep brother wants to fuck me in doggystyle. at first i think it'll be good because i can't imagine him hitting my g spot in this position, but on the first thrust i realize he's hitting my cervix now. i always thought this would hurt, but it just feels like an Off button for my brain. every thrust gives me a huge flood of pleasure all through my body, i wouldn't be able to speak even if i could breathe. suddenly it hits me that if my brother isn't careful, i might suffocate here. that thought scares me, my life in my brother's hands? while he's horny and pissed at me? i'm basically dead already... oh no. just thinking about it made me tighten around his cock. did he notice..? "oh you fucking like this don't you, whore? my very own sister, snuffbait. i can't believe it" fuck. he noticed. i didn't even know i would like it until right now... i think it's just that fucking him has been my big dream for so long and now i have it... maybe it would be nice... to end on such a good note...

the now distant thuds of pleasure stop, and i feel my brother pulling me back to reality by my hair "i'm not gonna do it for real, you stupid cunt. too much cleanup." i'm slowly coming back to my body... there's a warm fluid between my thighs... "oh FUCK YOU. you better let me be conscious next time you cum in me, you asshole" and there's a goofy, hopeful look in his eyes when he says "next time?"

#i'm sorry i made the characters cis 😔 i kinda just wrote it stream-of-consciousness and i usually imagine myself as a cis girl #i'm gonna try to write a trans m/f sibcon fic later to make up for it #brocon #sibcest #sibcon #anti meows

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otrtbs · 3 months

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me when i make regulus write a parting letter to james like:

I'm sorry your mom never liked me when I met her that once. I wish I had enough time to change her mind about me. I wish we could've met under better circumstances; maybe then, things would’ve gone differently. I think about it all now and then- that summer I visited your house. All the flowers were in bloom, and the air smelled so sweet. You had a cat named Champ. Do you remember when I reached down to pet her and she purred and offered up her whiskered cheek to my palm? You looked at me like I belonged there, at your house. In your life. I knew then that I’d never see that cat again. I'm sorry you didn't. I'm sorry you believed in me enough for the both of us.

#this is just a small portion of course #it's actually much longer n such #idk what this is i just felt like putting this somewhere #so im slapping it up on my blog #i love you stream of consciousness-esque thoughts #nat writes

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i-am-a-fan · 5 months

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So in the lego monkie kid show, a lego show that was targeted for an easter audience but has since been expanded into a larger fanbase, there are multiple types of demons. Some look more animalistic and others looks more human with an in-between of ogre like looking individuals. However, only one character looks almost entirely human and is certainly a demon, a character named redson. His build looks more similar to that of his mother’s, who is the celestial maiden known as ‘lady iron fan’, and that of Nezha, a celestial warrior, despite Redson having both a celestial and demonic heritage. However, Redson only seems to pay homage to his Demonic blood and never mentions his celestial side. Maybe it was because their mother was banished and they took it upon themselves to shun out the part of him that was like the part that hurt their mother. And if so, isn’t it cruel that he gained only the appearance of that side? Then again, it could be that because he looks more like a celestial being, they feel the need to overcompensate for their lack of demonic features and will repeatedly announce their actions to be more demonic? The character is forever stuck between two worlds in a society that already has so much diversity.

#this was a stream of consciousness btw. i did not pre write this #lego monkie kid #lmk #speck rambles #lmk red son #get idenity crisised bitch

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sfsolstice · 2 months

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S. F. Solstice, from "if you've ever seen the dungeons & dragons movie"

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lindaghill · 11 months

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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS May 20, 2023

It’s Friday today! And I’m here with your Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. Looks like we’re finally going to get some rain today. It feels like ages since the last time. The prompt this week is a repeat from May 16, 2015. I’m taking a chance that if you were around and participated eight years ago, you won’t remember what you wrote. Here’s your prompt: Your Friday prompt for Stream of…

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#fun #inspiration #SoCS #stream-of-consciousness writing #WordPress #writers #writing #writing prompt

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actual-changeling · 9 months

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no i am not done with the breakup scene yet. it haunts me during the day and it haunts my dreams, soon i will be able to replay it in my head on command. today's obsession: tell me you said no

firstly, i think it's important to point out just how deep the miscommunication runs here. aziraphale is excited, outright giddy about the news he is delivering, and he expects crowley to be just as happy about them.

after all, he thinks he is giving crowley what he has always wanted - they can go off together, he can be an angel again, which to zira equals being on the good side. the side of *light*. he remembers crowley's creation, remembers how in awe and happy he was with it, and thinks that is what he is offering.

aziraphale's expressions during this scene are probably gonna be their own post, but long story short he switches between excited and confused like a broken light switch, unable to decide which one to settle on.

crowley, well, crowley is angry. angry and confused and completely caught off guard because aziraphale is shaking the very foundation of what crowley currently thinks to be their relationship. the horror dawns on him pretty early, but he tries to fight it off, tries to convince himself that no, aziraphale wouldn't. he wouldn't agree to that, he KNOWS me. he knows i don't want to go back, he knows both sides are equally bad.

tell me you said no. tell me i wasn't wrong about you, about us. tell me i didn't misjudge our entire relationship. tell me the last millennia were worth something, anything.

tell me you said no.

if you rewatch the scene, you will notice that crowley never breaks eye contact, he stares aziraphale down the entire time. unless it was literally blink and you will miss it, i am pretty sure he does not even blink. not once. aziraphale on the other hand is looking everywhere but at him, his gaze flicks around just as much as his expression. crowley tries again, one last time. tells him you know they will both destroy this planet, humanity, us. it doesn't matter which side wins, the result will be the same. we KNOW that. we SAW that. we stopped it from happening.

aziraphale does not answer.

he does not have to. crowley can read him well enough to know exactly what he responded, and even if he couldn't - he knew from the beginning. he just cannot believe the answer. he still can't.

it's one of his fatal flaws, isn't it, believing in aziraphale and in them against every rule and threat the universe throws at them.

now to get to the part that breaks my heart.

crowley repeats himself again, not breaking eye contact while aziraphale tries to avoid his gaze.

tell me you said no.

he still hopes. after that entire conversation, he still hopes.

when the silence stays unbroken he steps towards him, asking one. last. time.

angel tell me you said no.

this. this frame. this is when the realization hits him full force, the truth he has been trying to talk and rationalize his way out of. he has been begging aziraphale to tell him that he did not betray him, them.

everything he has been fighting for the last six thousand years, all the thoughts telling him he is worth less than aziraphale because he fell, because he is a demon, evil, on the wrong side. everything he has been unlearning, accepting that he can be kind, he can be good. accepting that aziraphale cares about him, fuck, maybe even loves him.

crowley thought aziraphale is the one being that sees him, truly sees him, which is why he offers himself without his glasses - his last layer of protection.

he betrayed us. he has never been with me, we have never been on our side, not when he chooses heaven over the fragile, peaceful existence they have carved out for themselves. he took care of the bookshop, allowed zira to take his bentley, cleaned up and tidied and prepared it for his return, for the both of them. just to get all of it thrown into his face, to have it degraded as not good enough. to have HIMSELF degraded as not good enough.

and after all that. after that realization, the pain, the break in what he thought was their reality.

after aziraphale telling him that he plans on leaving earth and wants crowley to be someone he is.

crowley swallows his tears and he steps back, keeps his glasses off and continues with his confession anyway. his voice breaks several times throughout it, he is on the verge of crying. i will probably make a separate post about all that but once again, tldr he suppresses tears throughout his entire speech.

i want to spend eternity with you and he cannot say it because he knows he would break on eternity and start crying. somehow, crowley still hopes that maybe this will change his mind, this will make him realize that he needs to stay here, stay with me.

crowley hopes and hopes and hopes and aziraphale finally meets his gaze and all he responds is nothing lasts forever.

no, i don't suppose it does.

still, what is left but to keep hoping that maybe one day, they will be an us, even if it isn't forever. even if it's just one day, one kiss, one second of being held and kissed back.

crowley keeps hoping and that, to me, is the most painful part of it all.

#alex talks good omens #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #good omens meta #this got so much longer than i intended for it to be rip #i feel like it is important to mention that these posts are not planned in the slightest #i look at some screencaps experience emotions and then write a stream of consciousness #i hope it has enough of a red thread that people can follow though #any spelling mistakes and the like are because i do not proof read my tumblr posts #you get my unfiltered brain vomit

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lurkdragonstuff · 2 months

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I'm an atheist and a philosophical materialist. I don't think there's anything more to the universe than what can be observed and measured. Disagree if you want, that's fine, but take as read that this is where I'm coming from.

As you can imagine, this makes it very strange to me that my brain thinks I'm a dragon.

I have been trying to square this circle for years. Since around the 2000's, when I first made contact with the Internet, I would look in on the otherkin community, and the draconic community nested inside it, and I would think, man. I wish I could believe that. I wish I could believe that souls were real, and that I had one, and that it was a dragon, and that's why I was so odd. For quite a while, I just explained it as a furry fandom thing. Sure, yes, my fursona is feral, but ferals are furries, too. This is still true! I'm still in furry fandom, and my dragonself still acts as my fursona. But they are also, in a deeper sense, me.

I'm a secular pagan. I don't think gods exist, and I don't think magic is literally real. I can't really cast a curse on shitty charities. The moon's a big shiny rock. It doesn't care if I roar at it when the sun reflects off it just so and I can see the whole of its tidally locked face.

But my dragon brain doesn't know that. It likes the big shiny rock. It likes little shiny rocks, too. It likes to light things on fire, and considers this a sacred act, both bringing destruction to noxious things and bringing honour to things worthy of it. It likes to growl and hiss when things annoy it. It likes to collect things, to have a hoard. It likes to range around its territory, keeping an eye on what's around in what season. It finds it frustrating that its wings don't seem to work at all, and its other limbs barely better. It wants its tail back. It wants its fire breath.

I'm autistic. Sometimes speaking is hard, and I growl and hiss when things annoy me. I like to collect things related to my special interests; I have a sprawling collection of cetacean, Nintendo, and SEGA figurines, as well as lots of little animal figures. Plushies, too, and videogames, and books. I do wildlife photography, as well, marking who's around in what seasons. This is, to my frustration, limited a lot by waning energy because of chronic health problems.

If backed into a corner, to say what I really believe, of course I'm a human. It is in my DNA, expressed in a bipedal body plan, five fingers on the forelimbs only, nails and not claws, no wings, no muzzle, no tail, short neck, skin and fur instead of scales. Not even any horns. I find this frustrating, but it is what it is. I also find it frustrating when people call me 'she' and not 'they', and that really there is no feasible gender presentation that would guarantee that strangers would use the right word. The best I can hope for is that people will read the 'they/them' button on my hat, or otherwise call me 'he'. Still wrong, but at least novel.

I honestly think my draconic identity developed when I was younger as a way to explain why I was so weird. I have never been normal. I will never be normal. As an adult, I have fancy words like "autism" and "anxiety and depression secondary to post-traumatic stress disorder" and "seasonal affective disorder" to explain why I'm abnormal.

But a part of my brain, I think the same one that still believes in magic and deities even though I don't, tilts its head, then grins a sharp grin and says, "Cool story, bro. I'm still a dragon."

I generally have, for any given of my eccentricities, the philosophical materialist explanation (generally that I am either brainweird in some way or another or am playing pretend for placebo purposes to manage executive function etc.) and the dragon explanation (generally what the pretend play revolves around). But - and this is hard to explain - it isn't exactly playing pretend, either. It's me.

When I'm pretending to be Link, either playing a Zelda game or writing Zelda fanfic, Link isn't me. I might be inhabiting him as an actor, but he isn't me. When I play Animal Crossing, and I'm playing a character named after me, that's closer. It's me but greater. Me but more. Me existing in a life I wish I could have.

When I put on my mask, when I sit and daydream about the multiverse-hopping shenanigans I get up to, when I hiss at someone startling me by getting into my space, that's me. I'm not a dragon, I'm a human wearing a mask, daydreaming, hissing because "back the fuck off!" isn't allowed in the workplace.

Yeah. Cool story, bro.

I am still a dragon.

#original posts #stream of consciousness #perhaps you can catch my vibes #so to speak #dragonkin #otherkin #secular paganism #musings #original writing #psychological otherkin

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toasteaa · 3 months

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Neuvillette is in love with the concept of love; he just never thought he'd experience the complexity of it himself. Or rather, he'd never thought you'd make him experience it like this.

Of course, that in itself is a rather broad concept. He's not unfeeling; he knows what certain aspects of love feel like, or at least, what humans around him have described as love. If you were to ask anyone that observes him with a human's eye, they'd tell you "Monsieur Neuvillette loves a lot of things".

"Monsieur Neuvillette loves the melusines, I always see him talking to them!" - not untrue, but not so much love as it is a general appreciation in his eyes. And much less the kind of love he has in mind. "Monsieur Neuvillette loves water the most! He has cabinets full of imported bottles in his office!" - elements of truth and fancy. A necessary (if a bit self indulgent) requirement for his continued health. You wouldn't go as far as to say you love air, would you? The concept is the same.

No, when Neuvillette thinks of love it's the kind he sees in couples on the streets of Fontaine. Hands held fast together, or a guiding hand in the small of one's back. Shy smiles and ruddy cheeks. Parted lips and gleaming eyes; a hopeful and expectant look before a kiss. The very image of romance that Lady Furina's novels would outline - novels that he's sure at this point, were left in his office by the former Archon in order to...guide him in a way.

And what poor guides those proved to be when it came to these...affections he has for you.

In those stories, it was simple. Understandable to an extent. The numerous versions and retellings of the same themes and tropes created a kind of cadence in his mind; an easy to digest pattern where one act of courting follows another in a beat-by-beat fashion. It's formulaic. An art perfected by years of practiced and perfected behaviors only menially guided by instinct.

Then why, Neuvillette often finds himself wondering, is it so difficult when it comes to applying that same formula to you?

Is it his tone? His behavior? Or has he made a general mistake with his leaps in assuming you might feel the same way as him? Your relationship with him is far less professional than when it started, yes, but that is the nature of working with someone long term. The expectation of professionality can only last so long, even with someone of his standing. This is something he's accustomed to. These developing feelings are not.

Even his attempts at more directly physical advances have proved unfruitful. If anything, the way you startled and stammered before returning to your work after he'd merely brushed a stray hair from your temple dissuaded him from ever attempting such a thing again.

And yet...the hint of heat in your cheeks at the action made him curious. Makes him...hopeful. If he was reading this correctly (and on his name as the Sovereign did he hope he was reading this correctly) then that could mean...well, it could imply mutual attraction.

Which has lead him to his current dilemma. He's spent days debating with himself, weighing his options, and attempting to reason that this warmth he feels around you is enough to allow him a brief break in his impartiality.

But then if he breaks here, where else would he break?

And would it be so wrong if he did? To pursue you, to court you, love you -

It stirs other emotions in him. Ones of excitement, of rage, of something deep and primal in his chest that has been buried deep after centuries of solitude - even amongst the people of Fontaine.

He wants this. He wants to experience this budding love in all its confusing facets. Wants to test the waters he's grown so accustomed to guarding and let himself feel something so innately alien to him. So...human.

Perhaps this is a trial left in place specifically for himself. To love and to be loved in return...it's almost enough to make him cry.

#toast talks #genshin impacted #genshin x reader #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette x you #neuvillette x y/n #genshin neuvillette #hello friends in my phone I've decided to once again be unwell about my beloved dragon gilf #Oh to be the lovesick Iudex's object of affection and not know it because he can't figure out how to process it #Also this is stream of consciousness writing so if something looks wonky I'm SORRY I get a little stupid thinking about him okay???

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thychesters · 7 months

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"i don’t care if you want to act happy-go-lucky, but if you, the man who is above me, ever shows weakness, next time, the one leaving the crew will be me!" — "if the first words coming from usopp are a sincere apology, then we’re all good. otherwise, there’s no place here for him to come back to.”

i am ill, i am diseased; zoro shouldering the role of being the voice of reason, pulling rank as the first mate and reminding the rest of the crew that luffy, as easy going as he may be, is still their captain, is one to be respected, because a crew without respect and a leader who doesn't demand it is destined to fail. and you know it's serious when sanji agrees with zoro. they can't just welcome usopp back with open arms because he challenged the captain, lost, and left and “we’re not little kids playing pirates.”

#OR NEXT TIME IT'S GOING TO BE ME WHO LEAVES #HOLLERING #hollering holler hollering #i have soooooo many thoughts #imagining how much this stings for luffy and how much it does for zoro #especially because you know how important loyalty is to zoro #and like!! he misses his friend too!! but usopp LEFT. he MADE that choice (challenging luffy) and must deal with the consequences #and for any of them to welcome him back like nothing is a spit in the face and complete lack of respect #because they AREN'T playing pirates -- this is real with real consequences #there are those who have killed for less #godddd i have a lot of thoughts hang on i had to write them down #you're getting them in all of their stream of consciousness glory #kate watches op #enies lobby

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comradekatara · 1 month

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How do you think the ATLA storyline would change if Yue was the Avatar? (based on the theory that she was meant to be the Avatar if the cycle wasn't thrown off balance by the genocide/aang running away, explaining her birth circumstances)

I've always loved this au idea and was wondering how you think it would play out (yknow, yue being a waterbender, learning the elements and defeating ozai).

okay i mean obviously my immediate thought is “what role do katara and sokka play in this” because i refuse to entertain any AU wherein katara and sokka are not front and center. so i guess i could see kanna encouraging katara to escape to the north after a brush with the fire nation (zuko perhaps? he was in southern waters regardless of whether or not they found aang) leads kanna to realize that they aren’t safe in their village. so katara and sokka go up north (although it’s a lot less comfortable without a bison) and they get there in time for yue’s sixteenth birthday, which is when it’s announced that she is, in fact, the avatar.

katara gets really pissed off that pakku will make an exception to teach yue waterbending but not her, but pakku is just like “well she’s the princess and the avatar. you’re just a southern peasant” and katara goes OFF. at which point pakku realizes that she’s kanna’s granddaughter and is like “oh shit” etc etc. so katara and yue start learning side by side, and katara is like “so when are you going to leave the north pole and fight in the war?” and yue is just like. “the what.”

katara storms into the room she shares with sokka after practice one day and just goes “YUE DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT THE WAR” and sokka, who has been hopelessly pining over her with the knowledge that nothing could ever happen between them is just like “NOW’S MY CHANCE.” so he goes to yue and is like “i know this might sound crazy, but please hear me out,” and then explains, with no detail spared, the geopolitical conflict that has been ravaging the rest of the world for the past century. he somehow conveniently leaves out every personal tragedy he’s experienced, but it’s still incredibly comprehensive all told. and then he’s like “wouldn’t you know all this anyway? by being the avatar and being able to talk to your past lives?”

and yue suddenly realizes that the absurd nightmares she’s been plagued with all her life were actually memories, and she feels so guilty that she somehow never realized it sooner. so she goes to her father and tells him that as the avatar, is her duty to master all the elements and fight the firelord, and arnook is like, well as the princess it is your duty to remain safely in agna qel’a. so after yue feels that she has sufficiently mastered waterbending (and that katara can teach her the rest), she escapes with katara and sokka and they go to the earth kingdom to find an earthbending master (and they somehow manage to find toph). and so on and so forth.

ultimately, while i do think there’s something beautiful about yue reclaiming her power and autonomy, i still don’t think it’s more compelling than the original show, or the significance of aang’s central role. i do in fact firmly maintain that the only remotely compelling alternate avatar AUs are sokka, azula, mai, or ty lee. yue’s complicated tragedy is more compelling to me than yue being an empowered girlboss (sideyes natla). but it is kind of fun to think about. if nothing else, katara and yue being classmates is cute.

#yes i had to write out that entire stream of consciousness thought exercise just to realize that it doesn’t really work #idk man. it is what it is #twitterpat #asks #AUs #yue #katara #sokka #katara&yue

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