i’m really dreading going back to work soon. it’s work from home but i don’t know how i could possibly help my clients under the current climate. the organization i work for is falling apart and i don’t know how i’ll expected to do my job. i’m really stressed and i know it’s just the current events stacked on top of normal stress but jsksjdksks
Waiting, worrying, forecasting can be exhausting, taking a mental/emotional toll different from an intense workout or a challenging meeting. Acknowledging and dealing with it is crucial for your well being. Shoving your thoughts and feelings in a closet never works, especially not now. There are constant news updates. Every conversation you have mentions it, either directly or indirectly. The affects are visible in your everyday life, making it more difficult to bury your head in the sand. Don’t think only you feel this way. Mental health professionals are talking- look it up. Deepak Chopra is having a worldwide meditation on Sunday. Stress, anxiety and depression are high. Therapists are offering telehealth sessions. Reach out; someone will be there to help. Just like writing is different from typing, talking is different from texting, tweeting, dming. Like “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”, phone a friend. If you don’t already have a therapist, but think you may need one, find one on your own or through a referral service. It has been said before, but bears repeating: YOU are not alone. You are NOT alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
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Currently 4:57am in England and I still haven’t slept since 6:00am yesterday morning
I am so tired
*Bellyache and harsh face rash/allergies happens*
Me: why is all of this happening to me??
My brain: you have anxiety.
Me: it must be the unfair gods…
My brain: your stress is happening and making you anxious ???
Me: …those unfair old deities…
My brain: anxiety???
Me: …punishing me for their own content, I’m sure
My brain: B R O
Be kind with your mistakes. Especially right now. It is normal to be thrown off by the events happening, and it is normal to be struggling. When you are under stress you cannot expect the same of yourself as you would without the stress. Sometimes that means you make silly mistakes. Remember to be gentle with yourself in these times.
I’ve been having more mental breakdowns in this period than during the last eighteen years.
I don’t even feel like I’m 18. Almost 18.
That emoji is not taken anon so here is an angsty tale about Remus ;))))
TW: Transphobia, “attack helicopter” identity jokes, mentioned violence, intrusive thoughts, murder (as an intrusive thought), cannabalism (as an intrusive thought), school stress, mentions of loneliness
- So Remus is in online schooling, right?
- Yeah he is that’s a thing I’m pretty sure we’ve mentioned at least once
- But he wasn’t always in online schooling
- Remus started online school part of the way through ninth grade
- This was also the year he came out as a trans
- Now Remus Grimm doesn’t have a lot of friends
- This was typically due to his weird sense of creativity and typically gross jokes
- From the time they were little, Remus and Roman were always very close and never had many friends outside of each other
- The thing is- Roman doesn’t go to Remus’s school. So without him Remus has to make his own friends
- And he has very few of those
- Coming out changed that, after he said he was a gay trans guy
- He went from having a few friends to eating lunch alone with everyone avoiding him.
- This did not create a good environment for Remus
- Sure there were other LGBT people that Remus tried to hang out with but they were distrubed by his demeanor
- And even though there were the LGBT kids, there wasn’t many of them, and the school was laregly unsupportive of queer identities
- So Remus didn’t have the safety of the small queer group on campus, as well as losing the bit of safety he had from his other friends
- And he’s completely utterly alone
- In a sea of kids that make “I identify as an attack helicopter” jokes at best and get violent at worst
- This created a Very Bad environment for Remus
- Now we mentioned that Remus is starting ninth grade?
- Well after a pretty relaxed eighth grade, ninth grade hit Hard for Remus
- There was so much work and the teachers weren’t great and everyone expected him to prioritize their class.
- This coupled with the fact Remus was all alone, took a massive toll
- Remus started having intrusive thoughts, violent ones and scary ones that kept him up
- The worst it gets is when he starts having dreams about killing and then eating his family
- So he decides not to sleep
- He starts experiencing executive dysfunction
- His room is twice the mess as normal and he rarely showered
- And all of this just turns Remus into a mess
- And you can imagine how tightly strung Remus is and therefore he was bound to snap
- And snap he did
冥想 (ming2 xiang3) - to meditate
Eg. 冥想 can help if you feel anxious or stressed.
so I’m nearly 9 months into my relationship, which for me is the longest relationship I’ve been in, and I think we’ve hit a rough spot. I don’t know what to do and I feel so upset right now.
Recently my boyfriend (21) has had a lot of struggles and setbacks. He’s broke and struggling with money, but he’s living with relatives who expect him to pay rent even when it literally means taking all his savings out to pay it and don’t help him out. He’s still on his leaners and none of his relatives will help. His work is crap and are currently in court for the dodgy shit they’ve been pulling on their employees and he wants to get out but is really struggling to find any other work. This is also hard as he didn’t finish high school (which he wants to go back to next year). He’s still trying to sort out centerlink support. To top it off his depression and anxiety have hit a bit of low recently.
I completely understand he’s in a hard situation and I want to help anyway I can, and I’m finding it hard to put how I’m feeling into words, but I’m just exhausted and I feel so apart from him sometimes, even when we’re together. I think this is obviously taking a toll on him, which is taking a toll on our relationship.
I think a part of it is also that our relationship has changed over time. There’s less effort, less conversation. I know he wants to get his license and I do try and help him out there, but it feels like an unbalanced relationship when I’m always driving to his, picking him up, driving us around, while he can sit on his phone and not worry. And I know he often doesn’t have much money, but you don’t need money to put in effort.
Sometimes I worry how different we are in ways that just might not go together. I know he probably feels a similar way, we’ve cried a bit this week, he’s apologised for how he’s pushed me away and shuts down when something upsets him. He does take responsibility for his actions and he really goes out of his way to let me know he loves and cares about me, but his anxiety will come up and make him feel like I don’t love him as much as he loves me. But I honestly feel like he loves so much harder because he’s scared and because he doesn’t love himself enough, and it’s hard seeing someone who love like that, but it’s also exhausting.
Sometimes I feel like we’re at different places, I mean I’m 23 this year and he’s 21. I’ve finished uni and he still wants to complete high school. I don’t know what all of this means for us, all I know is I feel tired and I feel like there’s a lot we’re not communicating on. I still love him and I want to get through this and give this a shot, I guess I just don’t know where to start, how to go about this gently and I really just needed to get this off my chest into words to help me understand this better myself. Thanks for reading and listening.
this sounds like a pretty stressful and unhealthy relationship at the moment ):
it sounds very obvious but I want to ask, have you talked to him about any of this? if not, then I think it could be a good idea to give it a go. you don’t necessarily tell him everything that you said to us here? but I agree – you don’t need money to put in effort.
talk to him in person and away from distractions like video games or tv’s etc, you could maybe start off by saying “can I talk to you about something?” and go from there. I would avoid being too focused on listing a lot of individual situations that have happened over the last couple of months, as it might make him get defensive? but talk in general about you feel like things are a little unbalanced at the moment, you don’t feel like he’s putting in a lot of effort, there’s less conversation, see what he has to say.
while it sounds like you both are at different places at the moment (you having finished uni while he wants to complete high school etc), it doesn’t mean that this relationship is doomed! it can still work out, if you love him a lot and you both want this to work then it still can. definitely chat about things and have the conversation in person (much easier to avoid miscommunication that way!), be honest about your feelings and go from there. good luck friend <3
I am not one to post my troubles on social media… during this month and the next month, I am filled with anxiety in how to cope with my financial situation. It was stressing given I have to give up my job in United Kingdom due to my working holiday visa Youth mobility Tier which expires on March 20th, also stressing to know my country, Canada has closed its border and many of the flights were gradually being suspended. But luckily enough I was able to return to Canada safe and sound, however I am put in self isolation for its a law now to do so. Been stuck in isolation for a week, and each day it gets more stressing, everywhere that is non-essentials is closed, what stresses me and makes me worry the most is by the time my self isolation ended, is there any place that will hire me given the whole situation with the corona. Not knowing what is going to happen in the upcoming weeks, and chances of me being hired at this time is slim and stressing. Most of all, the fact that phone companies is deem non-essential, will I be able to get a Canadian phone number at all, considering my UK number costs money whenever I text or call someone, I even have to disable data roaming on my phone. And the fact that if I cannot get a Canadian phone number, I cannot update my resume in how they could contact me via by call which makes me unable to apply for jobs cause of it. I wish and pray someone would help me or perhaps this pandemic would end soon… and lockdown would be lifted….
My brain hurts
Today they asked staff to volunteer to sleep at the long term care facility I work at for 14 days. I feel like shit for saying no, but like I had a breakdown last night, and another panic attack driving home. I know I’m not doing as much for them as I should, but my mental health just can’t do this, so now I’m social distancing for 2 weeks
I have such a fucking headache right now. :/
Me: This situation is fine. There is nothing that can go wrong.
Brain: lol sure.
Me: What do you mean?
Brain: Well, I’m sure there’s plenty of things that can go wrong.
Me: Like what?
Brain: Nothing specific. Just plenty of Things.
Me: Please tell me what could go wrong, don’t leave me thinking about it.
Me: Please, I’m begging you.
Me: Don’t do this to me.
I don’t know anymore. One day I’m okay another I feel like shit. I can’t be left alone and I need to learn how to be by myself without relying on someone else. People say I’m independent but I don’t feel like it at the same time… My feelings are a mess. My mind and heart can never compromise with each other. I feel like a horrible person but I always care for others. Maybe I’m better off being alone. I’m too much for anyone to handle. I feel like nothing is ever enough for me. Why am I like this? Why do I do this to myself? What is wrong with me? I should just disappear…