1:38AM thoughts (on Aziraphale bc he has taken over my body help he's making me write things in his defense, well except this part, obviously, I am doing a joke, haha):
"We can be together!" and "I need you!" followed by "I don't think you understand what I'm offering you." is so fucking tragic to me? It's like he's saying 'I love you, I want to be with you' reeeaaally really clearly (though some people would rather just ignore it and are all 'oh, Aziraphale's only talking about jobs and promotions'). He is offering Corwley a way they can be with each other for realsies, no take-backsies without fear or interference, with earth and humanity protected (which Crowley was previously the main advocate for, remember) and Crowley hits him with "I think I understand a whole lot better than you do."
Wanna know what I'd have thought in Azi's place at that? I'll tell you anyway: whoa, fuck, I completely misinterpreted everything Crowley's been throwing my way for... a long time! He doesn't want to be together together, he just likes to be really good friends and wants to keep that up, he's so lonely on earth, being a good demon that he expresses his platonic love in a way reminiscent of pining love-interests- heck, maybe I'm so lonely down here that I misread common best-buddies-stuff as romantic interest! This is bad. He understands what I want to do here and he doesn't want that. He wants to be 'us' as we have been for millennia. I... don't know if I want that... I don't want to hide this shit, but if he doesn't reciprocate, then I'd make him uncomfortable and things wouldn't work out anyways. Guess I might as well save us both the pain of one-sided love and a friendship that can never be the same again and go. Now I'm angry. This isn't at all how it was supposed to be. I need distance now. From him, our relationship and my emotions bc this hurts. Ouchie. Rude.
And then Crowley mentions the nightingale and hits him with that angry, tragic as fuck kiss? The (potentially perceived) mockery! Crowley is mocking Azi's feelings for him. 'Is that what you want, angel? This? Silly birds proverbially singing about our love? Kissing? That's what you want for us?'Yes, it is, damn you a second time!
really appreciating kenjaku this season. physics defying hair, a thirst for all experimental sorcery and science, constantly looking like a cat that’s about to smugly knock over a glass
Daily excerpt on last night's writing. I have NO ETA on this, so please don't ask me when it's coming out.
But I do have 3,300 words of it and a playlist so
Chapter 1 of A Game We Can Try - Bull/Cullen - Stuck on the Puzzle universe:
Bull worked so hard to be safe, and he was trustworthy and patient. Even now, he was being patient.
'Would it help if I told you that I wanted it? Your fear?' Bull said, leaning closer.
'Maker,' Cullen breathed. 'Maybe it would.'
'Would it help if I told you that I want to see you blush prettily like a virginal maiden over this, your knees on the floor, wearing those ears, making little noises for me, pretending like you haven't been rammed to unconsciousness because I didn't want to let you rest that one night, and you didn't want to say the watchword?'
Maker.
'You- You can't just seduce me into- You can't.'
'Yeah,' Bull rumbled, 'I think it might help if I told you that along with all the humiliation, I'm going to hurt you so good. Never fucked a lion before, not really my thing, though I could tell you some stories... But you pretending to be my little lion? Getting to tame the fierce, stubborn Lion of Ferelden? Always wanted a pet.'