Bucky: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?
Bucky: I was hula hooping. Steve and I attend a class for fitness and fun
Sam: Oh, my God
Bucky: I’ve mastered all the moves [shows photos on his phone] The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle.
Sam: Why are you telling me this?
Bucky: Because no one will ever believe you [deletes all photos]
Sam: You sick son of a bitch
Steve: It’s nice to be wanted, you know
Bucky: Not by the law!!
Sam: Steve can’t be good at everything right? He’s gotta be bad at something, like being a bad kisser.
Bucky: No he’s good at that too
Bucky: What did you do?
Steve: Okay, ill tell you but you have to promise not to be mad
Bucky: What. Did. You. Do
Steve: Well, I was minding my own business-
Bucky, slamming his hands on the table: BULLSHIT
Steve, crying: I WAS
Peter: Butter is just food lotion
Bucky, to Steve: Is there something wrong with him?
Bucky: would you kiss me for 20 dollars
Bucky: just curious
Steve: yah I guess?
Bucky: *slams 20 dollars on the table* well would you look at that-
Bucky: Steve will you-
Steve: yes I will marry you
Bucky shrugging: good thing I always keep the ring ready
Someone: *insults bucky in front of bucky*
Bucky: *whispers to sam* is this the part where I’m supposed to care?
Someone: *insults bucky in front of steve*
Steve: bitch you better run
Bucky: wanna date???
Bucky: pahAhA I’m kiddinggg
Bucky: unless you want to??
Bucky: I’m very proud to say that I am officially a lost cause
Bucky: thank you all, especially you Steve *blows kiss*, but unfortunately it was all for nothing
Steve: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in the world
Bucky: Thank you for your sacrifice, Sam
Sam: So what time does the judgment express get here?
Steve: Bucky gets here at 3
Steve catching up on modern terms: you can’t spell sus without us
Bucky: you’re not allowed to hang out with peter anymore
Bucky: I get this strange feeling in my chest when I talk to you and I don’t get it when I talk to girls
Pre serum Steve: sounds like heartburn. I’m an expert
Pre-serum Steve: Fight me you limp noodle!
Bucky: I wouldn’t if I were you, he bites
Bucky: Can someone please hold me? Even if it’s at gunpoint I don’t care
Steve: BUCKY NO-
Bucky: you know you’ve made it when you see your picture up everywhere you go
Steve: those are wanted posters
Bucky: you can’t just run away from your problems you know
Pre serum Steve: maybe so, but I can moonwalk away from them
Pre serum Steve: *trips while moonwalking away*
Natasha: so what do you think?
Bucky: sorry I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree with Sam
Steve: he’s not even here