Newsies as things I've heard this week
The saga continues
(This one is late don't mind that)
Physics class: *doing an egg drop*
Romeo: Man this egg better be appreciative I'm putting a lot of work into this
Finch: Preach it
Specs: this hallway smells like bacon bits and man musk
Race: I love this year's seniors but like- Shut the fuck up
Albert: What?
Race: Look at their Instagram posts! "Meet the seniors" "I can't believe I'm graduating" "last year in high school" like shut the fuck up "can't believe I'm old enough for senior class play" shut the fuck up "so many memories coming to a close" shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up!
Albert: I think he wants them to shut the fuck up
Jack: Ahh...maybe? It's hard to tell
Race: *chewing*
Albert: Damn you're smacking on those nuts
Race: I'll smack on your nuts if you want me t-
Race: Do you wanna send my streaks?
Davey: Oh my god don't send them to the guy!
Race: Help! I wont
Crutchie: What guy?
Davey: He sent streaks to some guy yesterday and he sent back that he wanted to choke him with his cock!!
Crutchie: With no warning??
Race: No!!!
Davey, a physics teacher: *First period physics* so if the projector remote isn't working that's your observation. Your hypothesis might be that it needs new batteries but there could be another, more simple answer. Your trial might be to... What? *smacks the remote* just hit it, right? Maybe that'll work
Jack, a music teacher: *Ninth period music theory* *trying to turn on the projector* why is this not working? *smacks the remote*
Elmer, a student: Oh my god didn't your husband talk about that literally today-
Race, another student: HE FUCKING DID OH MY GOD
Race: WHY DO MY PANTS HAVE FIVE BUTTONS WHAT IS THIS??
Finch: Protection
Race: What if I was about to get some and I had to be like "hold on gimme a few minutes"
Spot: A few minutes?? Give a few hours! Those buttons are really in there
Finch: how do you know how hard it is to undo Race's buttons?
Spot: ... It was an assumption-
Albert: AN ASSUMPTION YEAH SURE
Sarah, an english teacher: We're going to play a game, I'm going to read the blurb on a couple books and you're going to write an opening line. Then I'm going to put the opening lines up on the board with the actual opening line and you're going to guess which one is real. If you guess the real one, you get a point and if people guess yours you get a point per each guess
Elmer, a student: This is just like Is It Cake
Spot, about Race: He looks like a bug (/affectionate)
Sarah: Jesus Christ I'm going to get dresscoded-
Crutchie: My chocolate chip muffin doesn't have any chocolate chips in it I am going to kill myself-
Denton: and I started to feel sick- mind you this was 2021 so I thought it was COVID. I hadn't been infected with COVID before so I like- I thought my time has come, I have been chosen! It was like the little green guys from toy story
Race: the clawwww
Albert: the coviddd
Davey: that's actually a pretty common symptom or side effect for other stuff it's just inflammation of the lungs even though it sounds bad like- What is this, 1855?? I have never heard of pleurisy before
Denton: I was patient zero in my house for Hand Foot and Mouth disease? The toddler disease! I started it! I gave it to my children under five! The only person who didn't get it in my house was my husband and he was like "pfshh yeah of course I didn't get hand foot and- what am I? Three?" That hurt
Katherine: Bee Tee Doubleyoos (btw) as the kids are saying
Davey: Calculus, that's a disease in of it self
Jack: it's not that bad, I'm fine
Davey: Jack, you-
Jack: A little touch of salmonella, that's all
Davey: Jack-
Davey, teaching epidemiology (study of disease): and your immune system sees the E. coli bacteria and is like "you are supposed to be in the colen, why are you in my mouth? :("
Denton: I don't want you to leave this class with a new psychological disorder or anything but-
Albert, after talking about diharreal diseases: I'm all about food (/gen)
Davey: Stick my arm out the window and *slaps his arm* hit me up (about vaccines, not drugs)
Davey: I don't know anyone who Gatorades there way through severe dehydration
Race: I bet you I could
Race: all the football players have asses!
Hotshot: you think I have an ass?
Race: I dunno, spin
Hotshot: *turns around*
Race: damnnn okay! Alright you got a little bakery back there!
Hotshot: yeahhh thanks my man *daps him up*
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