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chaosbled · 3 months

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MUSE CHARACTERISTICS & AESTHETICS

BOLD what applies to your muse , then tag others to do the same ! Italicize things that apply occasionally or applied in the past !

Repost , don’t reblog .

ARAHABAKI / ARA

BODY

HEIGHT

3'4" or less | 3'5" - 3'8" | 3'9" - 4'0" | 4'1″ - 4'4" | 4'5" - 4'8" | 4'9" to 5'0" | 5'1" - 5'4" | 5'5" - 5′8″ | 5′9" - 6′0" | 6'1" - 6′4″ | 6′5″ or taller

WEIGHT

Less than 100lbs | 100–125lbs | 125–150lbs | 150–175lbs | 175-200lbs | 200–225lbs | 225–250lbs | 250–275lbs | 275–300lbs | 300–325lbs | 325–350lbs | More than 350lbs | Underweight | Healthy weight | Overweight

SKIN

Very pale . Pale . Light . Rosy . Peaches & Cream . Medium . Olive . Golden . Dark . Very dark . Warm undertones . Cool undertones . Olive ( Warm & Cool ) undertones . Neutral undertones . Tanned . Freckled . Blotchy . Smooth . Acne . Dry . Greasy . Soft .

EYES

Small . Large . Average . Gray . Gray - Blue . Brown . Black . Blue . Green . Blue - Green . Gold . Hazel . Violet . Heterochromatic . Red . Doe - eyed . Bloodshot . Almond - shaped . Wide - set . Close - set . Deep set . Protruding . Squinty . Monolid . Epicanthic fold . Heavy eyelids . Downturned . Upturned . Full lashes . Thin lashes . Straight lashes . Curled lashes .

LIPS

Pink . Peach . Red . Brown . Dark . Full . Thin . Full upper / thin lower . Thin upper / full lower . Pouty . Plump . Cupid’s bow . Soft . Rough . Smooth . Chapped . Dry . Moist . Warm . Cold.

NOSE

Duchess . Fleshy . Upturned . Downturned . Roman . Aquiline . Bumpy . Snub . Hawk . Greek . Nubian . East Asian . Nixon . Bulbous . Celestial . Smooth . Sloped . Large nostrils . Average nostrils . Small nostrils . Straight . Raised . Lowered .

HANDS & FINGERS

Small . Petite . Delicate . Slender . Long fingers . Short fingers . Stubby fingers . Chubby fingers . Short nails . Long nails . Manicured nails . Dirty nails . Meaty . Bony . Pale . Frail . Skillful . Rough . Calloused . Strong . Thin . Thick . Smooth . Soft . Warm . Cold . Frigid . Sweaty . Gentle . Scarred .

HAIR

Thin . Thick . Fine . Normal . Greasy . Dry . Soft . Shiny . Curly . Frizzy . Wild . Unruly . Straight . Smooth . Wavy . Floppy . Cropped . Pixie - cut . Shoulder length . Back length . Waist length . Buzz cut . Undercut . Bald . A bit below the jaw . A bit above the jaw . Mullet . Mohawk . White . Platinum blonde . Strawberry blonde . Orange blonde . Golden blonde . Redhead . Dirty blonde . Blondette . Ombre . Light brown . Mouse brown . Chocolate brown . Chestnut brown . Dark brown . Jet black . Ginger ( red - orange ) . Auburn ( red - brown ) . Copper . Other Color ( Dyed ) . Thin eyebrows . Average eyebrows . Thick eyebrows . Groomed eyebrows .

TATTOOS / PIERCINGS

Full sleeve . Thigh tattoo . Neck tattoo . Chest tattoo . One tattoo . A few here & there . Wrist tattoo . Back tattoo . Multiple . No tattoo . Monroe piercing . Nose piercing . Septum . Nipple piercing ( s ) . Genital piercing ( s ) . Industrial piercings . Earlobe piercing ( s ) . Prince Albert piercing . Eyebrow piercing ( s ) . Tongue piercing ( s ) . Lip piercing ( s ) . Helix piercing . Tragus piercing . Angel bites . Labret . Stretches out ears . Navel piercing . Inverse navel piercing . Cheek piercing ( s ) . Smiley . Nape piercing ( s ) . No piercing .

COSMETICS

Eyeliner ( occasionally ) . Light eyeliner . Heavy eyeliner . Cat eyes . Mascara . Fake eyelashes . Matte lipstick . Regular lipstick . Lipgloss . Red lips . Pink lips . Dark lips . Bronzer . Highlighter . Body wash . Moisturizer . Aftershave . Eyeshadow . Neutral eyeshadow . Smoky eyes . Colorful eyeshadow . Blush . Lipliner . Light contouring . Heavy contouring . Greasepaint . Powder . Matte foundation . Shiny foundation . Concealer . Perfume . Cologne . Deodorant . Wears make up regularly . Wears it from time to time . Uses only light makeup . Never wears make - up .

SCENT

Floral . Fruit . Sweet . Earthy . Spicy . Aftershave . Shampoo / Conditioner . Cocoa . Candy . Lotion . Moisturizer . Cigarettes . Leather . Sweat . Food . Incense . Marijuana . Alcohol . Expensive cologne / perfume . Cheap cologne / perfume . Whiskey . Wine . Fried food . Blood . Fresh Linen . Musk . Chemicals .

CLOTHING

Jeans . Tight pants . Leather pants . Dress pants . Over - the - knee socks . Tights . Leggings . Yoga pants . Pencil skirt . Tight skirt . Loose skirt . Tight / formfitting dress . Cardigans . Blouse . Button up shirt . Band - T - shirt . Sports t - shirt . Dress shirts . Sweatpants . Tank top . Fur . Faux fur . Leather . Designer . High street . Online stores . Thrift . Lingerie . Long skirt . Miniskirt . Maxi dress . Sun dress . Tie . Tuxedo . Cocktail dress . High slit dress / skirt . T - shirt . Loose clothing . Tight clothing . Jean shorts . Sweater . Sweater vest . Khaki pants . Suit . Hoodie . Harlem pants . Basketball shorts . Boxers . Briefs . Thong . Hotpants . Hipster panties . Commando . Bra . Sports bra . No bra . Crop top . Corset . Ballerina skirt . Leotard . Polka dot . Stripes . Glitter . Silk . Lace . Satin . Velvet . Chemise . Patterns . Florals . Neon colours . Pastels . Black . Dark colours . Neutral colours .

SHOES

Sneakers . Slip - ons . Flats . Slippers . Sandals . High heels . Kitten heels . Ankle boots . Combat boots . Work boots . Knee - high . Platforms . Stripper heels . Dress shoes . Bare feet . Loafers . Oxfords . Gladiator shoes .

JEWELLERY & ACCESSORIES

Earrings . Necklaces . Chokers . Collars . Lockets . Watches . Rings . Purity rings . Promise ring . Engagement ring . Wedding ring . Bracelets . Hair ties . Cufflinks . Ties . Scarves . Bow ties . Bolo ties . Brooches . Pins . Bandannas . Hairpins . Crowns . Tiaras . Garters . Anklets . Ribbons . Belts . Umbrellas . Parasols . Book bags . Briefcases . Satchels . Glasses . Contacts . Spectacles . Monocles .

TAGGED BY : N / A

TAGGING : @prodigls , @giftandguile , @longerhuman , @vulpesly , @barxlupin , @catclyssm , @corruptiongifted , @autymns , & you !

#{ DASH GAMES }#CHARACTER STUDY || Corruption { ARAHABAKI }#// some of the italic stuff applies to Ara’s fem form or when he’s copying Chuuya

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feluka · 4 months

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the fact that the One relative of ours who is well off, has a good degree and a well paying job, who always sent the rest of us medicine when we couldn't afford it and is the reason my mother could get treatment for her cancer is now literally selling everything he doesn't need because he's broke. he recently called asking for advice for how much money he should sell his cutlery set for. this is bleak!!!!

#when i say it's become unbearable...#all my twt timeline is people studying second languages in hopes of immigrating.and the countries they're hoping for are staunchly anti ara #out of the frying pan into the fire! yikes!!!! this is bleak!!!!

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iriswave · 6 days

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Studying art history ✨aesthetic ✨

Yes, the aesthetic makes the studying go by easier lol

#augustus the imperator #ancient rome #ara pacis augustae #art history #studying #aesthetic study #notes by quill and ink

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rox-of-iu · 1 year

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how is a man supposed to odmaturovat when my head is soooo empty but also soso so so full o(-(

#not art #crys #přituhuje přituhuje #anyway předmaturitní období is going completely /fine/ for anyone asking #pap has been sending me bronze age memes ive been scrolling through pictures of birds for two hours and who knows what aras be doing #cryptid at this point #dsjhc but anyway history+art 🤝bio+chem🤝math+phys - not having a single clue what we doing hsjkdhsa #solidarity #also i managed to last minute hyperfixate on a most beloved book series from my childhood hdkashdahkj #which i have been doodling amongst my equations lmao so once im done with all this ill be posting some things for that #since AF be holding my hand throughout these tough times ✊but like on one hand #emotional support beloved book...on the other hand gET OUT OF MY HEAD WHAT A BAD TIMING-#hahjahjkhs not to worry i will also come back to what i usually post once all this is done #only -checks watch- 7days UH OG HAHA ANYWAY and uhhhh then a month to speedrun studies for UNI entrance exams #but after that!!!!! ART TIMEE YIPEEE finally ill work on my liu//shen and N/HS animatic that ive been looking forward to for like a year no #lol #also speaking of liu'd shens #im that meme of squidward next to his window and spongebob and patrick is everyone talking about new cultivate chapters jhdkshdks #soon.....i will be able to catch up soon.......HAJHKS #anyway thats about it #im soooooooooooo tired my bones feel like theyll fall off and my brain is meltingg o(TヘTo)#but eh- gtg back to organic chemistry now bye byee everyone have a good day kissb xD

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ergoshwampy · 1 year

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Full collection of all of my bird studies :)

#bird study #digitalmoreth #digital arwork #bird lover #bird art #cockatiel #green cheek conure #magpie #palm cocatoo #ara tropicana #harpy eagle #hoatzin #jackdaw #raven #shoebill #turtle dove

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enchantress-of-words · 1 year

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Ara is born. Her mother is crying, her father weeps tears of joy on his knees, and the woman who helped deliver her is smiling in the corner. There's four of them in the small apartment in one of many streets of Kagark. It's warm, and it smells of blood and sweat and joy. The wind howls outside, spreading the news - it preaches the birth of a Symbol. The spirits hold their breath.

Ara is small in a room full of love, and she cries for air and for her mother's arms.

Ara looks at the skies and sees a storm.

She's fourteen, and she doesn't remember her father, nor her mother. She doesn't remember the warm room or midwife's happy smile.

Mother Madeleine barks at her to stop daydreaming. Ara sighs and continues sweeping.

Up in the skies, the spirits watch her every move. The wind-wolves hide in the trees, and the Great One smiles on his throne.

Ara is sixteen. Those who see her think of a fairytale.

Ara is small and fragile and quiet. She knows the woods as a palm of her hand. She loves storms and dreams of skies.

She finds a cave with two statues inside. The statues open their eyes and come alive.

Ara is sixteen, and she finds magic.

The elf-brothers lead her to one of her kind, and she tells Ara to look in the Mirror (the mirror of truth, the mirror of risk, the mirror of change).

The Mirror is surrounded by golden water which rises and swarms around Ara as she looks in her reflection, as she stares in the eyes of Elderfather, as the spirits chant and sing. It hurts, the pain burns her from inside out. Her bones melt, her muscles dissolve. Ara screams and falls into the water.

She wakes up with wings and new fire burning inside her.

Ara is sixteen, and Ara is a dragon.

She roars in the skies, she rises high and falls back down. Her dragon form looks majestic, her human body becomes taller and stronger. She learns how to fight, she studies libraries, he looks as Ramin enchants metals in silence.

Ara is sixteen, and Ara feels more alive than she ever have.

Ara is seventeen, and the School calls her.

She goes on the road. She meets a girl chosen by Wind himself. That girl is bright and loud and annoying, but in a good way. Ara loves her.

They trust eachother. They fell asleep in eachother's arms once - it was cold, and Ara was warm, and Nomi didn't care for personal space.

Ara loves Nomi's hugs. (She was never hugged before.)

The School calls another one, a boy chosen by Water himself. They find him - he is wounded and scared, and he doesn't remember how he got there. They accept him as their own.

They sleep in a pile now, limbs interwoven in a monstrosity of a hug. Ara feels nice.

Ara feels safe.

Ara is seventeen. The School sends them away.

They meet a spirit tired and battle-worn, a spirit who looks like a man, a spirit so dangerous both heaven and hell chase him.

Thuar looks at Ara and he sees a Symbol. Ara makes a choice and lets him lead her.

Ara is seventeen and she is dragged deep below the surface, deep below the core of earth.

She remembers chains and tears and pain.

Ara is seventeen, and Ara is but a shell of what she was.

Thuar manages to escape. He carries her out from Stranger's realms and brings her to dwarf-folk and to elven-king - by chance.

Ara can't remember her name. All she feels is pain and fear and a trembling of her own body.

10.

Ara is eighteen.

She sits at her bed in the dwarven fortress. Ara is eighteen. She looks at her hands, bandaged and scarred.

Ara is eighteen. She grits her teeth.

Ara is a Symbol. Ara has a job to complete.

~§~

taglist: @ink-fireplace-coffee @original-writing (ask to be added/removed)

#writeblr #original writing #fantasy #writers of tumblr #oc: ara syd #wip: touy #this isn't from the wip but rather something i wrote as a side thing. call it a character study if you will :)#ask me questions if you have some!

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jesterwaves · 9 months

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ara's big sisters. they don't have names yet.

for reference, ara stands at about an inch or two shorter than the taller one

#my art #my ocs #the taller one is definitely a college student. possibly studying law? maybe. i dont know yet.#both give ara a hard time but are still very protective of their baby brother #i want to do more family designs but out of the rough sketches these were the only that looked good enough for me to clean up #just now realizing neither of them have halos... i think at least the taller one should... ill sketch it out but im NOT resaving the png #<- me when i spread misinformation on the internet (i edited the post)

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aeipathys · 11 months

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𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.

𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒. being unable to stop smiling. laughter. bear hugs. happy tears. waving arms around. dancing. contently sighing. eyes twinkling. laughter lines. childlike playfulness. skipping. talking more. affection. cracking more jokes than usual. gesturing more when talking. higher pitched voice. squealing. jumping around. clapping (sarcastically).

𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒. tearing up. self-hugging. one-arm cross. an aching chest. scratchy throat. a runny nose. turning away. deep breaths. quivery smiles. crying. infantile sobbing. hands gripping each other or an object. covering mouth. puffy eyes. eyes appear red. voice breaking. a distant or empty stare. monotone voice. asking for comfort. faking a smile. crumbling. shaking. whimpering. depression. abusing an unhealthy habit. withdrawing from others. big teary eyes. doing something even if it could hurt them.

𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑. furrowed brows. baring teeth. passive-aggressive comments. avoiding eye contact. sarcasm. headache. sore muscles. hiding clenched fists. irritability. jumping to conclusions. raising voice. going silent. demanding immediate action. keeping it all in until exploding. body tensing. making risky decisions. middle finger.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑. wanting to flee or hide. what-ifs. images of what-could-be flashing in mind. uncontrollable trembling. rapid breathing. screaming. a skewed sense of time. irritability. keeping silent. denying fear. turning away from the cause. pretending to be brave. nail-biting. lip-biting. scratching skin. a joking tone but a voice that cracks. fainting. insomnia. panic attacks. exhaustion. substance abuse. tics. rushing adrenaline. face draining of colour. hair lifting on the back of the neck. feeling rooted to the spot. making body as small as possible. staring but not seeing. crying. a shrill voice. whispering. gripping something or someone. stuttering. flinching at noises. pleading.

𝐄𝐗𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. constantly yawning. blurring words together. dark circles or lines under eyes. mood swings. hallucinations. calling people by the wrong name. dizziness. denying they’re tired. slow blinking. trouble concentrating. stumbling. leaning on a doorframe for support. sluggish movements. falling asleep someplace that isn’t a bed. becoming irritated by the smallest things. “i’m awake, i’m fine.” shaking so bad they spill their drink. fall asleep in their clothes. lay their head on the table because they’re so tired. passing out.

#⁺ 𝐀𝐑𝐀 › character study.#this is from 5ever ago #but i found it in my drafts so i thought i'd do it for ara

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sincerelyyycece · 9 days

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i'm letting go.

Y/N finally had enough of being James’s backburner

note: modern au, this is a part 2 of my “hey, are u still there? …good.” fic, inspired by niki’s song again but this time it’s “oceans and engines.”

tags: @dearmy-diary @moonteaxw @xcinnamonmalfoyx @box-of-kinderjoy @hisparentsgallerryy @alittlebirdswhisper @chi-ara (i can't seem to tag the last two accounts.)

A symphony of heartbroken tears and quiet, mournful sniffles echoed throughout the room, rebounding off the cold, stark walls and filling the silence with their melancholy. "Here we go again," she mused to herself, a bitter chuckle escaping her lips as the painful reality of her situation hit her once more. Her gaze, heavy with unshed tears and the burden of heartbreak, fixed on the seemingly innocent photo of James and Lily, both ignorant of the emotional turmoil their image was causing.

As she studied their smiling faces, her heart, already fragile and wounded, sank even deeper into the abyss of disappointment. The realization that she had been cruelly sidelined for Lily once more was a blow she had not anticipated, a betrayal that echoed in the silent room. She could almost hear the sound of her heart shattering, each piece a testament to her unrequited love for James.

A nauseating wave of regret and self-reproach washed over her, threatening to drown her in its relentless current. As she pondered her own naivety, she wondered how she had allowed herself to fall into this trap.

What had she expected?

Did she truly believe that this time, against all odds, he would choose her?

How foolish she felt, how incredibly naïve she was for ever believing him!

Her eyes narrowed at James's enthusiastic grin, a stark reminder of the shared moments and whispered promises. She remembered how he had once smiled at her in the exact same way, his eyes twinkling with mischief and unspoken promises. How easily she had fallen for that smile, and how bitterly she regretted it now.

With a deep, shaky breath, she forced herself to look away from the picture, her hand moving to wipe away the stray tears that had begun to fall. She knew what she needed to do, as much as it hurt her. She had to let go. She had to let go of James, of her love for him, and of the hope she'd been foolishly clinging to.

She gazed at her phone, James's number illuminating the screen. Another shaky breath escaped her lips as she summoned the courage to press the call button. The room filled with the familiar sound of ringing as she anxiously awaited his response, her hands trembling with nerves. Thoughts raced through her mind as she contemplated the words she intended to speak to him.

Suddenly, a voice broke the silence, uttering a soft "Hello?" Her breath caught at the sound, her heart skipping a beat. Faint music played in the background as he called out her name, "Y/N." She swiftly composed herself, resisting the urge to melt at the sound of his voice. "Are you there, Angel?" he inquired, his tone gentle. Her throat felt parched as she struggled to form words, her mind urging her to speak, yet her voice failed her.

Frustration washed over her as she sensed the distant sounds of music and chatter, indicating his movement to another location. "Y/N, did you accidentally call me?" he teased, chuckling lightly. "Hey," she finally managed to utter. "Hey Angel, what's going on?" he responded, his voice tender. She blinks rapidly, searching for a way to conclude the conversation.

But then a familiar female voice interrupted from the other end, urging James to return inside for another round. Though faint, she recognized it immediately. James's affectionate response indicated his reluctance to end their conversation. Internally, she sighed, realizing it was time to let go. No more clinging to hope, no more waiting on the sidelines for him. It was time to move on.

She'd had enough; her heart was tired of playing second fiddle to Lily. She was tired of being the one he turned to when he was bored or lonely—the one who was there to fill his empty moments. "James," she started hesitantly, her voice barely above a whisper, "I think we should stop seeing each other." There was silence on the other end of the line, and for a moment, she thought he had hung up. "What?" he finally asked, sounding utterly shocked. "Why?”

"I'm tired, James," she admitted, her voice wavering as she spoke. "I'm tired of waiting for you, of being your second choice. I deserve better than this. I deserve to be someone's first choice, not their backup plan." There was a pause as she took a deep breath, gathering her courage before adding, "I'm letting go.”

"But, Y/N," James started desperately, but she cut him off. "No, James. It's over. Goodbye." With that, she ended the call, her heart aching as she did so. Up until that moment, she had hoped that things might change and that James might come to see her as more than just a friend, more than just a backup plan. But it was clear now that that was never going to happen. She had to let him go, for her own sake.

It was a painful decision, but she knew it was the right one. She deserved to be more than someone's second choice. She deserved to be loved and cherished as much as she loved and cherished others. And maybe one day she will find that person. But for now, it was time for her to focus on herself. It was time to heal and move forward. It was time to let go.

#james potter #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter angst #james potter fic

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chaosbled · 3 months

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WHAT POISONOUS FLOWER ARE YOU?

Doll's Eyes .

This is the poison of unchecked vices . You slip into hallucinations . You are wracked with convulsions . The delirium threatens to overwhelm you . What are you running from ? You look in every direction , wild - eyed at every turn , seeking some reprieve from what torments you . Each vice brings new consequences , & the price of escape seems too great , & yet you cannot seem to face things head on . If you aren't running from yourself , I hope you find a true way to freedom soon , & if you are running from yourself , perhaps you would do well to realize your pain is not something you can simply escape by avoidance . You deserve healing just as much as the ones you love . Someday , soon I hope , you will know this & feel it & reach inward to grant yourself all the kindnesses you offer others . That is the only true way to peace for ones like us . Oh , & if the pain of it seems too great ? I hope that you realize you don't have to do it alone .

Belladonna .

This is the poison of falling in love . You taste it & your heart beats fast . Your eyes dilate , you fall into deep delirium . You may be a bit dramatic & impulsive , & it gets you into trouble sometimes , but you just can't help yourself . It's in your blood . You love because it is the truest beauty you've found in this harsh world . Even when it's hurt you before , when it's poisoned you , you still find a way . They may call you naive for still believing in it , or vain for making yourself & your surroundings so meticulously lovely . But to love like this is brave & noble , & I hope you find the beauty you seek . Chances are , it's within & all around you already , if you know where to look .

Tagged By : N / A

Tagging : @mckiingbiird , @prodigls ( Dazai ! ) , @giftandguile ( Fyodor ! ) , @dcfygraviity , @longerhuman , @effigist ( Ayatsuji ! ) , @vulpesly ( Jono ! ) , @theircurse , @boundcd , @barxlupin ( Maurice ! ) , & whoever else wants to do it !

#;; Bringing this quiz back because it’s goddamn brilliant and so fun !#{ DASH GAMES }#Pretty spot on for both of them ngl!#Chuuya has been looking after himself and others since age 7 to the point he forgets it’s okay to lean on others.#Ara is petrified of being ‘real’ because he’s been around so long & gotten used to solitude & losing those he loves. being chaotic is easier #CHARACTER STUDY || Upon The Tainted Sorrow { CHUUYA }#CHARACTER STUDY || Corruption { ARAHABAKI }

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olive-fics · 7 months

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Studying with Abby. SFW

You missed your best gf, Abby flipping Anderson. Of course you wanted to hang out with her.. but she was studying.. whatever. she can multitask ..Right??

☆Reader is hyperactive/neurodivergent in ways (?), Abby can get annoyed and angry..., slight angst, petnames, FEM reader, comfort at end.☆

For the girls and the gays, Men leave! (please)

☆My awesome friend Ara gave me this idea so Ilysm! <3 ☆

CORRECT ME ON MY MISTAKES PLEASE!!!

"Sit still.." *Abby would groan placing her thick fingers on your hips, nudging you down into her hips. "You can't sit on my lap anymore if you keep moving peach, 'tis too distracting.." Abby would rub her nose and temples annoyed, not at you fully of course but the way you kept moving against her hips alone.

-This was probably your 4th time shifting on Abby's lap in just these past 10 minutes.

"Oh c'mon...you're hard to sit on when you study over the desk ..can't we just go lay down..? Get comfy..?"

"How the hell will I study when I'm laying down y/n." She was upset, something she never was with you.

"wh-"

"Please.. just- go sit down..I'll join you in a bit? Please let me study baby girl." Abby asked with a sigh.

As much as it hurt you, you still obliged to her command and sat down on the couch in her room. Of course you couldn't focus without being next to Abby, it made you nervous. Just sitting away from her made you anxious, that's when everything was louder and 10x intensified. The urge to bite your nails, sweat, click your tongue, crack knuckles, whatever you could fidget with was much more impulsive than usual.

Right as you decided to check your phone's time or mindlessly scroll online, it died. of course... time to do that fucking walk of shame up to Abby (who was now upset with you) and ask her if you can play piano tiles, candy crush or whatever games she let you download on her phone.

Getting up from the couch your bunny slippers shuffled across her mahogany floors with that airy "pfft" sound when the ears flipped up with each step.

"A-Abby..?" Fuck.. of course your voice was falling out. You got so nervous when Abby acted like this, which rarely happens.

Abby's office chair didn't move, instead Abby just replied short.

"Hm? what do you need."

"Can.. can I borrow your phone.. for- for games...?"

As much as Abby wanted to be angry at everything your stammering made her laugh.

"Such an Ipad kid..sure sure.." She sighed again, giving you mixed signals.

Abby handed you her Iphone, Abby had those clear cases with a little polaroid of you and her on the back encased by the plastic.

You smiled softly and ran off back to the couch bundling up under the blankets. Your fingers tapping at the screen and small sounds or music emitted from under the blankets. "Sweet!" "Tasty.." "Delicious."

As much as you were lost in Abby's screen you didn't even notice her calling your name...

"Y/n? Honey turn it down." "Y/n please, I need to finish studying.."

It was too late once you did hear her though, Abby was already on her feet marching to your place on the couch. She had pulled the blanket off of your head and gave you a small annoyed hand gesture.

"You gonna turn it down or do I have to take it from you?"

Embarrassment flushed out your cheeks into a bright red. How could you not hear her..?? You felt so stupid.

"I-I'm sorry Abs.. I- I'll turn it down.. I-.." Why were you stuttering now..? You felt so weak and little as Abby stood over you.

Abby could notice your mind rattling as you overthought the whole situation growing frustrated.

"Hey..Hey it's okay..i didn't mean to hurt your feelings love.. I'm so sorry." Abby frowned and held out her arms to you for a big hug.

With slight hesitation you still accepted Abby's hug and stuffed your face deep into her shoulders, the smell of her pine soap and hair washes filled your nose as you hugged her tightly.

"I'm almost done. Can you wait another 10 minutes?" Abby reassured you she would cuddle and chill with you as much as you wanted after. "Alright. I'm right here okay? Just wait a few." How was Abby so good at making you feel better. ughhhhhhhhh

After hearing Abby's keyboard click and her pencil dragging over her notebook for what seemed like forever, she finally got out of her office chair and looked at you with the warmest smile ever.

Abby walked over to you and draped the blanket over the two of you.

“I’m sorry Y/N. Movie night..?”

Fuck yes.?!?! Movie nights with Abby were the best. But then she hit the..

“I picked last time- what do you want to watch Pumpkin?”

God..you wanted to pick your favorite ofcourse..The muppets. (100% best movies…) but..you felt so bad for pestering her while studying so you put one of her favorite boring War movies on.

“Really..? You want to watch that..?”

Abby was kinda shocked you picked one of her favorites,but how you described it was..

“The Micheal Bay Film with the guns..and war-“

Abby put it on and kissed your forehead pulling you into her to cuddles.

“C’mon..I’m sorry about earlier..I love you..yknow that.?”

You nod and smile softly just emerging into her warmth and into the blankets because you just needed to sleep everything off,so did Abby.

“I love you princess..”

“I love you too…Abby..”

♡

HII sorry for lack of posts I cannot write cus my brain is slow.😞🔥‼️ but I have an Ellie Williams one shot or something coming up!! (Srs..) okay Goodnight :3 and thank you Ara for giving me this idea!!

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blackbackedjackal · 1 year

Note

What are some actual problems in the animal product industry?

I'm mostly familiar with fur farming so that's what I'll comment on.

A big concern of mine is that because ARA campaigns against people using or farming fur there's been a decline in the public's trust of fur products in countries that traditionally had good animal welfare standards. This has caused an uptick in fur being farmed in places where the animal welfare laws aren't as regulated, so you're seeing many more unethical farms being able to sell furs cheaply to markets that buy fur for textile. The quality of the fur doesn't matter as much as in the clothing market, so the animals are raised to be as big as possible, exceeding thier healthy sizes and weights to produce as much fur on one animal as possible.

Simultaneously, these unethical farms and businesses are aware of the bad press that ARA groups have spread about the industry, and will sell off other byproducts that aren't as heavily scrutinized or regulated as fur. Many mislabeled blue fox skulls are being sold worldwide (often illegally) by oddities dealers that come from these farms as well as oils and fertilizers and other byproducts of fur farming. It's easy to tell if an animal was unhealthy due to the condition of the pelt, but when the fur is processes as wool or part of the animal people may not recognize came from a fur farm is distributed, it still funds these poorly regulated places.

Meanwhile, the farmers and workers who are being harassed are ones who are generally compliant with WelFur standards, meaning that their farms are up to the current welfare codes in place. It's causing many good farms to go out of business or in some cases close down due to entire states or countries banning fur farming or the use of fur products.

So now good farms are being held accountable for bad practices done at other farms, and it's becoming more and more difficult to find places that do hold up to ethical animal husbandry standards. It's also promoting the use of plastics to make faux fur products which are far worse for the environment then just using fur. And due to the scrutiny many farmers face, it's becoming less worth it for them to sell thier animals as pelts and instead sell them to the exotic pet trade (i.e. people like saveafox who buys foxes directly from an unethical fur farm with bad breeding practices).

It's bad because it feels like there's very little room for changes and improvements to the fur industry because of the chokehold ARA groups have on the public's understanding of fur farming. For example, I'd like to see more ethical breeding practices done based on studying certain color generics and how they effect the health of certain species (we know some color mutations also cause genetic issues with certain species and I would like to have more information as to why that happens and how it can be avoided). However, it's difficult to discuss topics like that and push for change within the industry because most fur farms have to be extremely cautious with who they discuss thier practices to. ARAs will often lie to them to infiltrate thier farms to "expose" them by fabricating lies or stealing and releasing thier animals.

#and that's just the tip of the iceberg #fur farming #don't even get me started on the meat industry #ask

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ssa-atlas-alvez · 1 year

Note

I feel like cowboy has a background in crisis management or hostage negotiations, he’d be Quantico’s finest silver tongue. But maybe when he first arrived on the BAU team hotch seemed to doubt his abilities and wouldn’t give him the chance to prove he’s more than just a sharp shooter - maybe bc Strauss really pushed to have him put into the team in the first place so hotch is keeping cowboy at arms length

- 🦕

I'm aware this is slightly very unrealistic but ya know, it's fiction. I picture Jackson as a scared kid with a bad past

Also I didn't mean to post it so yeah hopefully it's okay lmao

Directly followed from this.

Warnings: guns, hostage negotiations, untrusting team

Taglist: @xweirdo101x @xdark-acadamiax @ara-a-bird @heidss @chubbyboyinflannel @pendragon-writes @migwayne @bigolgay @technikerin23 @supercriminalbean @honestlycasualarcade @caffeine-mess @1s3v3n1 @oddmiles @kevyeen @stealing-kneecaps @criminalskies @woodandwaxwings @anonstories08

"Let me do this." You and the team had managed to track down the kid who was doing this, when the police had surrounded the diner, he had felt trapped and pulled out a weapon. You wanted to be the one who negotiated with him, who talked him down. You could relate to him.

All of this stemmed from a scared kid who had no one left. He was left to deal with everything on his own, left to deal with the death of his father, abandoned by the system with no justice, so he took it into his own hands.

"Why should I let you do this when I have Rossi here?"

"Because I understand the kid." You answer, "And I was damn good at my job which is why Strauss recommended me for the position,"

Hotch stares at you for a moment and you stare back, you weren't going to let him intimidate you. Or even think that he can intimidate you. He nods slightly and you turn to the phone.

"Jackson? You there?"

"I'm here."

"I'm Agent (L/N)," You introduced, "You can call me (Y/N). I'm here to make sure everything gets sorted out,"

"You don't care. They don't fucking care!" Jackson yells, "No one fucking cares! No one cares that he's dead! No one cares that someone killed him! No one cares!"

"Hey, we care. That's why we're here, ain't it?"

"No, you're here so I don't go down in a rain of bullets."

"I hate to break it to you kid, that's not why I'm here." You answered, "It might be why the others are here, I'm here to make sure you don't do somethin' stupid. Somethin' you're gonna regret for years."

"You don't fucking get it!" Jackson shouts over the phone.

"Hey, hey, I get it," You kept your voice understanding, "It's tough, losin' someone you love."

"Yeah, and what would you know?"

"I- I lost my Mama at an early age, my biological Mama," You said, your voice crackling over the phone. "Everyone thought I was too young to understand, too young to remember, like twelve year olds can't think for 'emselves, y'know? N I remember bein' so angry that no one even thought to just sit me down and talk. And that's why I'm here, Jackson, I'm here to talk, to help."

"If you want to help, come inside. If you come inside, I'll let everyone go. I'll talk with you. But no one else. No one else sets foot in this building." Jackson paused for breath, "And no guns."

You nod, "Okay. That's just fine, we'll do that." As soon as your hand is off the button, Hotch is shaking his head.

"No."

"Sir, I get it, I'm the new guy, but I know what I'm doin'." You said strongly. "Just let me prove myself."

Hotch studied you for a moment before nodding. "You have five minutes."

"Thank you, sir," With that, you placed your gun in Hotch’s hand before making your way into the building (after they fit a wire).

When you get in, the hostages run out. At the very least you would be the only casualty if this went south.

"Hey kid," You said softly, sliding in one of the booths, Jackson hesitantly sat opposite you, his gun firmly aimed at you.

"This has to be some kind of trick."

"I want to help you."

"Do you have a wire?"

"Yes." You answer honestly, Jackson looks at you for a moment before nodding.

"You weren't supposed to tell me that, was you?"

You shook your head, "Nope." You answered, "But I did - for two reasons, I need you to feel like you trust me - and that requires my honesty - and I honestly think at this rate I might get fired, so it don't matter all that much anyway."

"That's ballsy," Jackson commented and you gave a small laugh.

"N what? Bein' an FBI agent isn't?"

Jackson laughed before sobering up, "Why are you being nice to me?"

"Because you're a kid." You shrugged, "You've had it tough, but if you work hard, and face the consequences of your actions, you can come out the other end of this better."

"How? Everyone already treats me like I'm some lowlife. How can I possibly change that if no one is willing to give me a chance?"

"I'm willin' to give you a chance. I'm willin' to help." You said, "All you need to do to show me that you're willin' to change is to give me the gun n walk out there with me n show me that you're willin' to put in the time."

Jackson studies you for a moment before he nods, placing the gun on the table and sliding it towards you. You take it, emptying it of bullets - placing the gun in one pocket and the bullets in another. "Okay." He whispers softly. "I want to change. I want to be better."

"Then that's all that matters kid, fuck everyone else." You said, "Come on, let's go set things right, yeah?"

"Yeah... Okay..." He says hesitantly as he stands from the booth.

"Facin' the consequences of your actions are never easy," You said as you also stood, "But it's how you react to realisin' you made a mistake that determines the type of person you are."

Jackson nods, squaring his shoulders before leading the way out of the building with his hands raised. You give him a nod of encouragement as he gets into the police car.

You turn to Hotch, "Sorted." You answer before climbing into the SUV.

"He's good, I'll give him that..." Rossi mumbles before joining you in the car. "Good job, Kid."

"Thanks."

#criminal minds #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #emily prentiss #david rossi #jennifer jareau #x cowboy reader #bau x cowboy reader #cowboy reader #x male reader #male reader #male!reader

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bangtanflirt · 1 year

Text

Not Like Other Girls (Part 2 of 2)

mainly angst, with some smut and fluff sprinkled in

Best friend Jungkook x Fem Reader, Hoseok x Fem Reader

NSFW. 18+

Part 1 > Part 2 (FINAL) > BONUS Part

Premise: Jungkook’s been your best friend since forever, and he loves that you’re “not like other girls,” as he puts it...so what happens when you decide you want to be like other girls?

Warnings: sexism, manipulative friendship, Jungkook and some other idols are just overall misogynistic assholes in this (all a work of fiction obviously, no way meant to represent these idols’ real life personalities), mentions of past internalized misogyny, one noncon kiss, slight physical intimidation, a fight, one more asshole jk warning because he amps it up a notch

____

Two weeks go by, with you ignoring every call and text he sends. Two weeks of you blaring your headphones and walking right by when he waits outside your residence hall or classes. Two weeks since you’ve left the group chat with him and the other two. Eunwoo and Yugyeom message you individually, each saying something along the lines of “Why are you being such a bitch to Jungkook?” You block them eventually. It was easy to block them. Jungkook, on the other hand, has not been easy to block. You’ve tried, fingers hovering over the button many times since the last time you’ve talked. However, something stops you every time. Memories of the past flood your mind: the little spot in the playground that the two of you claimed in fourth grade, the way he’d stayed up all night helping you perfect your science fair project in middle school, how he walked you home after your org meetings in high school. Everything would be so much easier if your mind could just forget about all the good things, but you can’t. The truth—however pathetic it may be—is that Jungkook is in too much of your good memories for you to just cut him off.

Not matter how much of a big game you talk, he still has a hold on you. Which is why, after two weeks of trying to fake indifference, your resolve breaks at the sight of him. He’s waiting in front of your residence hall again, but this time those sad bambi eyes rope you into stopping. He looks a mess with his disheveled hair and puffy eyes. It takes a lot in you to not immediately lead him inside and take care of his tired form. No y/n. Don’t be a doormat again.

“Can we talk in your dorm?”

“We can talk here. I’ll give you five minutes.”

“I’m sorry.” His shoulders are sagging as he looks down at the grass, unable to meet your gaze. You don’t say anything back.

“I shouldn’t have hijacked your birthday plans…and I shouldn’t have yelled about Hoseok…it was wrong of me. It wasn’t from a bad place, I swear! I just want to protect you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, y/n. I can’t not have you in my life.”

“Your way of protecting someone is really shitty.”

“I can see that now, and I promise you I’ll do better. Just don’t push me out of your life, please. I can’t handle it.” His voice cracks at the end, as if he’s too overwhelmed with emotion.

It breaks your heart and your walls all too easily, and you’re embracing him in a split second. He starts sobbing softly into your shoulder. “Come up for a while.” You invite, and the boy follows with his head down. It takes a moment for him to stop crying in your room, spilling apologies while holding you close.

___

The next day is, thankfully, filled with the normalcy you’re used to with Jungkook. You two meet up for breakfast, talking about the most random things as you usually do. It doesn’t feel like two weeks have passed. It doesn’t feel like anything bad happened between you at all. The air is light, and the conversations are filled with laughter, just like your favorite moments with him usually go.

“Are you free to study this evening? I have a calc test coming up and I need moral support.”

“I’m actually studying with a few people from the frat party. We’ve gotten kind of close—especially this girl, Ara. But you should come study with us!”

“With Hoseok too?”

“Yes Kook, he’s not some evil villain, I promise. You’ll like him if you give him a chance.”

You still haven’t told Jungkook you didn’t sleep with the older man. You don’t see the point in bringing it up anymore, since it shouldn’t determine whether or not Jungkook respects you. You just want to move on from the topic and the fight altogether. You also don’t tell him about your make-out sessions these past two weeks, not in the mood for another lecture.

His features visibly tense. “Oh, um…I don’t know. It might be too much of a distraction, and I don’t really know them. I’ll just study alone.” You know Jungkook enough to know what he’s asking without him saying it out loud: Please ditch them and study with me. The plea is clear in his eyes, but this time you act oblivious to it.

“Oh please, I saw you study for that physics final in high school! If you can focus on rotational motion while Yugyeom and Eunwoo argue about which Super Smash Bros character is the kinkiest, you can one thousand percent study with us.”

The two of you giggle at the past memory, and Jungkook eases up a little.

“Alright, I’ll join, and Bowser is definitely the kinkiest!”

“Not when Wario is right there!” You laugh, taking a sip from your best friend’s milkshake as he throws a ‘I told you to order your own’ look your way.

“Speaking of the guys…when do you think you’ll unblock them?”

“No time soon. You’re still on probation too.”

His face falls, but he doesn’t prod further.

---

“Guys, this is Jungkook, my best friend. Jungkook, this is Ara, Namjoon, Hoseok, and Jisoo. I met Ara at the makeup convention and everyone else at the Beta Tau Sigma party after.”

You miss the icy glare he shoots at Hoseok. Hoseok seems to miss it too, being his usual friendly self while greeting the other man. Everyone greets Jungkook warmly except Jisoo, who seems a bit wary. She remembers when you ran to some guy and came back crying a couple weeks ago, and how that man looked a lot like this Jungkook guy. Suffice to say, she’s not as enthusiastic to meet him.

The study session goes by alright. Everyone’s stressed and engrossed in their work, but occasional banter and breaks keep you all going. You try to include Jungkook whenever you can, and your new friends—sans Jisoo—also try to strike up conversation with him. Jungkook, however, keeps his replies short and chooses to stay silent for the most part.

It’s only when he’s walking you home does he begin talking like his usual self.

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

He shrugs, “I didn’t have much in common with them. I think we should just study alone next time.”

You raise a brow, “That’s not fair, Kook. You barely tried. We were doing our best to include you in the conversation.”

Jungkook doesn’t exactly know why he feels so strongly, but hearing you use the term ‘we’ for you and your new friends puts him on edge. You and him are supposed to be a ‘we.’ These are strangers.

His tone gets snappier at your comment.

“Wow, thank you so much for trying to include me in the conversation y/n. Must be exhausting having to talk to me when your new friends are there.”

“Hypocritical coming from you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you basically treat me like I’m invisible when we’re with Eunwoo and Yugyeom.”

The rest of the walk is silent.

Hours later, when you’re about to go to bed, you get a text from him.

Kook: Sorry :( are you still mad?

You let out a sigh. He’s your best friend, but you wish he wasn’t so frustrating sometimes.

You: Kind of.

Kook: I’ll hang out with them again if you want me to.

You: Will you actually try to get along?

Kook: Yeah, I promise!!!

___

The next time you invite Jungkook out with everyone else is at another frat party. You don’t remember the name of the frat, but it doesn’t matter. There’s good music, godlike seven-layer dip, and an impressive variety of alcohol. You tease Hoseok at how Beta Tau Sigma needs to watch out or their ‘best party frat’ rep is in danger.

“No chance, wait ‘till you see the bouncy castle we’re getting for the next one!”

Jungkook’s jaw ticks at the way you lean close to the other man, laughing and talking as if the two of you are in your own world. It’s extra irritating considering your outfit for the night. You’d mentioned how you were borrowing one of Ara’s dresses, but he had no idea it would be such a tight one. Tight and short, with entirely too much of your chest exposed. It makes your birthday dress seem modest in comparison. He regrets meeting at the party instead of picking you up, wishing he could’ve talked you out of it before you left your dorm.

But he can’t do anything now, except watch Hoseok ogle you as you giggle and bat your lashes at him. It hasn’t even been twenty minutes yet, but Jungkook already wants to leave—and drag you out of there with him.

It’s after a few tequila shots and party games when Ara pulls you aside, asking you how things are going with Hoseok.

“We’re just friends!”

“Friends don’t look at each other like that.”

“Okay, we might be hitting each other up to make out now and then…and maybe I have a teeny tiny crush. But it’s not like it’ll go anywhere.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s a total fuckboy!”

“Oh please,” she rolls her eyes, “those rumors are so out of proportion. I know Hoseok and I know he loves sex, but he’s not the ‘I don’t do commitment’ type. He just needs to meet someone he vibes with and he’ll turn into a mushy romantic in a heartbeat.”

“How can you be so sure?”

She breaks out into a giant grin, “Because he’s just like Joonie.”

You can’t help but grin too, tipsy Ara is especially cute when talking about her boyfriend.

“Fair, fair. Maybe I’ll give it a shot.”

“You think the two of you will break away from the rest of us again?” She wiggles her eyebrows.

“Not tonight. Jungkook doesn’t really know anyone here, so it would be pretty shitty to leave him.”

“Yeah he does look like a lost lamb” she motions in the boy’s direction, where his body language couldn’t get any more awkward.

“That’s my cue” you say after taking one more shot and making your way back to Jungkook’s side.

“Here” you say, holding a shot in front of his face. He downs it instantly.

“How ‘bout a dance?” You hope a little dancing can loosen the boy up.

The speakers blast High Hopes by Panic! at the Disco, and you two yell the lyrics while jumping up and down in proper party-dancing fashion. Jungkook gets more comfortable as the song progresses, and you can tell the alcohol is getting to him. The next hour is genuinely fun for both of you, and he seems less apprehensive when the others join—as long as your attention stays on him. The problem starts when a slower, sexier song starts playing, and Hoseok pulls you close. The man wraps his hands around you from behind, sensually rolling his body and guiding you to do the same. Your eyes are closed and you’re too lost in the moment to feel the daggers your best friend is shooting with his eyes.

You excuse yourself for a moment, stumbling into a random bedroom until you can find a restroom to pee. What you don’t expect when coming out, is Jungkook sitting on the bed. He stands up when you come out, making his way closer.

“Oh hey, were you looking for me?”

He nods, now less than an inch away. You take a step back, feeling claustrophobic, but he’s keen on closing the gap.

“Kook, what are you—"

That’s when his lips come crashing down on yours.

It’s barely three seconds until you register what’s going on and push him off. You look into his eyes with pure shock.

“Holy fuck, Jungkook. You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“Maybe…” he leans back in, but you turn your head away. He’s not a fan of this.

“Why are you dodging?”

“Because you’re not in your right mind! I’m your best friend!”

“And? Isn’t this what you what? Isn’t it better to get it from me than some guy you hardly know?”

“Excuse me? What do you mean by ‘what I want’?” You step back again, bringing a hand to his chest to keep him arm’s distance.

“Don’t act innocent y/n. That dress…the way you’ve been dancing…you’re telling everyone you want to be fucked tonight.”

You push him back, rage coursing through your veins, “I am not fucking you, Jungkook!”

He seems just as angry, almost falling back. “So you’ll fuck Hoseok, but draw the line at me?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“What’s wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you?! I’m trying so hard to be nice and understanding, but you’ve been acting like a whore the entire night. You want me to treat you like a whore, don’t you? That’s why you’ve been trying to make me jealous…get me all worked up so I can fuck you good.”

You fervently shake your head no, still processing the absurd things you’re hearing.

“You’re just drunk…that’s why you’re saying all these things. You don’t mean any of this, right? Why would you be jealous…you don’t think of me like that.”

“I don’t think of you like that when you’re being the usual you. But this new persona you’re trying on…you can’t expect me to not be curious when you’re showing off like this. I’m a guy, y/n.”

“No, get away from me! You don’t get to use the ‘it’s a guy thing’ excuse this time. It’s not because you’re a guy. It’s because you’re a complete asshole!”

You try to walk away but he grips your arm, unwilling to let go despite your visible distress.

“Let go!”

“Don’t leave me, please, you can’t leave”

Your distress grows as you try harder to shake off his hold, and you’ve never been more relieved to hear the sound of a door opening than in that moment.

“Y/n, are you in here—” Hoseok stills at the scene, Jungkook’s digging his fingers into the skin of your arm as mascara-black tears roll down onto your cheeks.

“Oh great” Jungkook lets out a dry chuckle, “he’s been looking for you, how sweet.”

Hoseok wastes no time coming between the two of you, prying Jungkook’s hand away and putting his body in front of yours in a protective stance.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to stay away from her dude.”

The tension in the air is thick, too thick for even a blade to slice through. The way the men stare each other down has you squirming in anxiety.

“This isn’t your business.” Jungkook bites.

“I think it is.”

“Why? You feel obligated because she’s one of your sluts no—” his sentence is interrupted by a sharp right hook to the face. Jungkook falls flat on his ass, holding the hurt cheek in pain.

“Because she’s my friend you fuckface, and I thought she was supposed to be yours too.”

That’s the last thing Jungkook hears before the world becomes pitch black.

___

You don’t give in after two weeks this time. A month goes by, then another month, then another…and now you’re getting used to not having him in your life at all. It’s easier because, this time, he doesn’t try to call or linger around with those dumb doe eyes. He knows he crossed an unforgivable line and facing you now would have him breaking down in shame.

That night, once he came back to his senses and the world stopped spinning, he couldn’t believe what he’d done. His bubbling jealousy towards Hoseok, the fear of you drifting away, and the unhealthy amount of tequila shots all mixed together to make him do the most asshole thing he could. And now he’s lost you, for good. The days since then have been nothing short of hell, guilt eating away at his soul every moment he’s awake. That’s why he sleeps longer now, sometimes well into the evening—missing a lot of classes along the way. His grades keep plummeting but he can’t seem to care anymore. If you were there, you’d get so mad at him for slacking off; but you’re not there. It’s a month after the incident when Yugyeom drops by, worried because neither him nor Eunwoo get any messages back from him anymore.

“Dude, you look like shit. Will you finally spill on what exactly happened with y/n?”

“I fucked up, big time.”

Yugyeom stays silent as Jungkook spills out everything that happened that night, listening with worry etched on his face.

“Oh shit.”

“I know.”

“You went too far man.”

“I know.”

“I get you’re going through it, but don’t shut us out dude. Eunwoo and I are there for you, okay?”

It’s not long until Eunwoo hears about what happened, calling the day after Yugyeom leaves. His version of consoling is different.

“It’s not entirely your fault. You know that, don’t you? You went overboard because of the alcohol, sure, but your reasons were valid. She should’ve known what she got herself into when she decided that being a bimbo is more important than being our friend.”

Jungkook doesn’t know how much he agrees with that, but he does know that thinking of it that way makes him feel a little less shitty.

___

You don’t tell any of the others what happened, hell, you don’t even tell Hoseok the whole story. You can’t bring yourself to recount the incident without nausea overtaking your body. Thankfully, Hoseok doesn’t pry. He’s the one to walk you home that night, telling the rest you had a headache and need to leave early. He keeps quiet the entire walk.

He drops by your place a lot now, checking in on you. The first month is the hardest, you don’t want to even get out of bed. Thankfully, Hoseok is there to make sure you don’t waste away under your blanket (and that you’re turning in assignments on time). The rest of them can tell you’re different after the party, but you dodge their concerns every time. They still invite you places, even though you seem zoned out when you’re there. Ara, in particular, makes sure to come by with meals every now and again to ensure you’re eating okay.

It's the second month when you start feeling like yourself again. The zoning out and wallowing in pity is replaced with laughter and joy once more; no doubt thanks to your friends’ persistence. A realization hits you during this time: you’re truly free now. Free to explore what type of clothes you like best, wear the most dramatic makeup you want, and invest time in hobbies that make you happy. You’re free to do all of that without a cloud of judgement and insecurity looming over. And so you use this newfound freedom to your fullest advantage, raiding the dress and makeup aisles at the mall—with Ara, Jennie, and Jisoo by your side.

It's the third month when Eun-bi and Sol fly down to visit you, squealing at your new look.

“I cannot believe that you, Y/N Y/L/N, own this many skirts” Sol comments, going through your closet.

You giggle, “You like them better than the sweatpants I wore when I visited, don’t you?”

“It’s not the sweatpants we minded, more the ‘look at these whores’ look you would give us when we wore skirts.” Sol laughs back.

You cringe at the memory, glad it’s in the past now.

___

It’s another usual weekend with Hoseok’s hands in your hair and his mouth on yours, while some Netflix comedy special plays in the background. He pulls away earlier than you’d like him to, though.

“What do you think about going on a date?”

“A date?”

“Yeah…if you want to be more than friends who make out.”

You’re confused and it shows.

“Didn’t you sleep with that art major like two days ago?”

He lets out an embarrassed chuckle, “I’m just getting tired of the hookups. Been getting jealous of Namjoon a lot recently—of what he has with Ara.”

“I thought you said Namjoon became ten times more annoying after getting into a relationship?”

“Oh definitely—but he also looks a hundred times happier. If I have a shot at that with anyone, I think it’s you.”

You can’t help but fawn over the endearing look on his face, eyes brimming with sincerity. It’s by no means a grand romantic confession of love, but it doesn’t need to be. You can tell he’s serious, and that’s all you really need.

“I’d love to Hoseok.”

His heart-shaped smile widens to a toothy grin. He pulls you in for another kiss.

___

The next time Jungkook spots you, you don’t notice him. He’s on his way to the library and you’re on the lawn with all your friends. You’re wearing a flowy sundress and your hair is longer; you’re having the time of your life, with no regard for his presence. Hoseok’s by your side, and it seems he’s the cause of your never-ending laughter. Jungkook knows you’re with him—he’s the heard the gossip all over campus. Gossip is the only way he can keep up with you after being blocked on everything.

Bitterness boils inside of him at the sight: how easily you can be happy without him.

He thought he meant more, thought he was irreplaceable, just like you were to him. He knows he messed up that night, but part of him was still betting you’d come back. He was waiting for you to come back after Hoseok left you broken, and had planned all the words he’d say to assure you he could put you back together again. But it’s been four months since you and Hoseok became official, and you two look happier than fucking ever. He hates it.

But even so, he has hope. Hoseok is still Hoseok, and this happy ever after shit can’t last. He’ll wait for you.

___

Four months turns into a year, and a year turns into two, then three, until you’re walking down the graduation stage while your boyfriend cheers from the audience.

When the ceremony is over, you make your way to your friends, who are all rejoicing at the ending of a chapter.

“We did it bitches!” Ara exclaims, pulling everyone in for a hug.

“Couldn’t have done it without you” you refuse to let her leave your embrace. Your best friend only hugs you tighter, two of you now looking like boa constrictors in competition.

“Alright, alright, enough of Ara hogging. I want my hug” Namjoon pouts, pulling her away from you.

“We get it loverboy, you’re whipped” you punctuate with an eye roll.

He’s not one to let you have the last word, though. “If anyone’s a loverboy here it’s Hobi, mind you. He’s brought up the fact that you’re graduating with honors at least five times in the span of three hours.”

“That’s because everyone needs to know how impressive my girlfriend is!” Hoseok jumps in, chest puffed out with pride.

You laugh, playfully swatting your boyfriend’s arm.

“Ouch! What was that for?”

“You know compliments make me embarrassed!”

“So am I just not supposed to compliment my insanely smart, incredibly driven, badass girlfriend who graduated with honors?”

“Make that six times in three hours” Namjoon lightheartedly chides.

It’s in that moment you bump into someone, not unusual in the buzzing crowd of graduates. But this time it’s not a stranger—or at least not in the technical sense of the word.

“Oh I’m so sorr—”

He stills. He doesn’t think he can keep speaking even if he wants to, feeling the heat of Hoseok’s gaze.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” That’s all you say, in the most nonchalant way possible, before turning around and resuming your conversation.

It’s like you never even knew him.

____

A/N: Another fic completed woohoo! Your comments and reblogs mean the world to me. All the interactions are such nice energy boosts to keep writing. Have a wonderful day lovely readers <3

Tag list: @namjooncrabs @starbtslove @gaby-93 @laurynne5

#jungkook x reader #hoseok x reader #bts angst #bts fluff #bts x reader #hopekook

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