"You're my god." Said Kans, looking at the pregnant belly of his sister, looking at the future that was predicted to kill him. How bad must the child be, if it had the potential of killing him. A murderer. A god.
"You're my god." Whispered Vasudev as he kissed the forehead of an infant, who was covered in blood from his mother's womb still and yet smiled prettily at his father. He had saved him from rain and flood. A rescuer. A god.
"You're my god." Said Yashoda, cradling him in her arms, laughing and kissing his dusky cheeks. She held him close to her chest and somehow, she felt her heart align with every giggle he let out. An enchanter. A god.
"You're my god." Said Nand, as he ruffled his son's hair that curled in ringlets that shined even in darkness. Yashoda had told him of their son's miracles. Universe in his mouth. Somehow, beyond his love for her, Nand believed her. His played with his fingers. A hope. A god.
"You're my god." Said Radha, laughing as he bowed in front of her with flowers of different colours and scents. Tears dried whenever he appeared. She flourished with him, her becoming simply more. A flash of mischievous smiles, and she was his. A melody. A god.
"You're my god." Said Ugrasen. Bones and frail flesh scarring, hands shaking as he was held. Dusky and smooth skin contrasted every silver scar he had and blood returned to his fingers once more. He stained his grandson's yellow clothes with his blood. A healer. A god.
"You're my god." Smiled Rukmini, an open secret between the two of them, eyes shining with love that none could see but him. His hands held her feet and helped her up. He led her, homeward bound once more. Home wasn't a palace, home was at his side. A love. A god.
"You're my god." Said Sudama, tears glistening in his eyes as he gazed at the shredded skin of his friend's feet. Blood that rewrote everything that Sudama ever had been, blood that bled when words failed. A shelter. A god.
"You're my god." Said Arjun, meeting a cousin he never wished to part from, recently married and aching raw. Morals broken, vow forsaken. A hand held him up, a shoulder to lean on. A saviour. A god.
"You're my god." Said Yudhisthir as he knelt before a throne of his own, blood on his hands of those who lived before him. Blood stained hands washed the feet of the man who was the reason the throne was built. A kingmaker. A god.
"You're my god." Draupadi sobbed in his arms, bruises littering her face and arms, lip burst and forehead cut. At his feet, reverently cursing all and blessing him all the same. Lonely, inviting death with every word. A protector. A god.
"You're my god." Gandhari wailed, an accusation on her lips and tears coming to her throat. Blood dripped down her knuckles from where she had hit him fruitlessly. Her words, punctured and breaths shallow, all but dead. A killer. A god.
"You're my god." Balram tells him, calm and serene. So unlike everything they saw in their mortal lives. His clothes suffocate his skin almost beautifully and the sunset is something to watch. He's not watched the sunset since he was six, he thinks. He's not properly felt the sunset in this lifetime.
He smiles at his younger brother. The brother he was supposed to protect. The accusations still make ugly scars on his skin and Balram wants to accuse them all back for a moment. They never knew his god. None of them, except his Mata, knew his god. So serene, so calm, so wise, so innocent. His god is everything and anything and nothing at once.
They don't know what godhood is.
And as Balram leaves his body to return to his abode once more, he wishes they knew better. He wishes they didn't claim to know godhood or his god.
He waits to be reunited with his god and goddess again.
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How i think Mahabharat ppl text Pt.1 :
➪ KRISHNA
- sends most random texts at most random times
- wants u to reply fast
- doesn't replies fast himself tho
- sends selfies of himself with demons he beat up with a proud smile
- uses so many emojis unironically
Krishna : hey do u think mermaids exists?
y/n : ?? idk u tell me U r the god NOT ME ??
Krishna : why would i tell u if mermaids existed? ur prolly gonna eat them u non-vegetarian bitch !!
y/n : send me another text and see how fast i block ur ass.
➪ BALARAM
- serious texter
- uses punctuation
- one word replies and at most he'll send a sentence that's it
- leaves u on seen
- can't take emojis seriously at all and thinks they're exaggerated and stupid
y/n : hey !! how r u?
balaram : alright.
y/n : oh...
(seen)
➪ SUBHADRA
- sends cat memes
- replies fast
- literally the cutest texter using all those Koamojis
- never leaves anyone on seen
- always texting to check up on her friends
Subhadra : hi y/n ^^
y/n : hi subhadra !!
Subhadra : hru? just checking in~
y/n : I'm ok how about u?
Subhadra : I'm so good !!
➪ DRAUPADI
- texts only when she feels like it
- only replies to Arjuna and leaves everyone else on delivered
- always compliments her friends when texting
- always takes screenshots of convos in case she need them in future 💀
- doesn't has anyone's number saved except for krishna (he saved it on her phone bc he knew she wouldn't)
Draupadi : hey Arya, can u take the trash out of my room pls? (trash = duryodhan)
y/n : girl 💀 do u not even have ur husband's number saved?
Draupadi : who r u?
y/n : it's y/n 😭
Draupadi : oh. ok can u take the trash out? (trash = duryodhan)
➪ ARJUNA
- will literally ghost u
- replies fast when he does but then disappears for days, months even years
- would text a "lol i died" when he comes back again
- doesn't ghost krishna (bc krishna prolly shows up in his dreams chasing him down if he ghosts him)
- always has atleast 1000+ unread texts
y/n : can u send me the pictures pls?
Arjuna : ok hold on
thousands years later
Arjuna : hey srry i died !!
y/n : it's ok so did my grandma.
Arjuna : ?? what??
y/n : boy my grandma y/n has been dead for past 20 years !! ur too late.
Arjuna : damn 💀 rip tho ig
//lol i enjoyed making this. comment if u want part 2 too and send in request if u want any specific headcannons or fanfics lol !!
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Mahabharat AU: Draupadi does not accompany the Pandavas to the exile + Bonus Subhadra
This is a complementary piece to this Ramayan AU.
Warnings for mentions of harassment, and violence. Major character deaths. Possibly going to make you cry, but +1 should revive you.
1.
Yudhisthir may have lost everything – his kingdom, crown and coins – but he has not yet lost his thirst for justice. It is his folly that has brought this upon them, and he will not let Draupadi take the fall for it. Already once his royal wife has walked barefoot on rough paths, forsaking the joys of her father’s house for her husbands’ sake, and he will be damned before he allows that again. When Draupadi declares her intention to accompany them – and it shames him in a way no taunts or mockery of the Kaurava courtiers might – he turns to her and says, “No, you must stay.”
Yagyaseni, bless whoever named her so, flares up like the fires she was born from, and bares her teeth at him – a flash of lighting across midnight sky. “You would leave me here then, husband, at the mercy of your noble cousins?”
Krishna speaks before he can answer, “Take her, cousin, who knows what is on the way?” Then he smirks daringly and adds, “She is more than five of you put together, are you sure you want to court her wrath?”
Draupadi whacks him across the head. Yudhisthir wishes he had done that. But he will not be moved, and to his surprise, his mother touches his wife’s hand and murmurs, “Stay, little flame, do not leave me alone. Think of your children, of your sister-wives, and stay.”
Subhadra, only too happy at this turn of events, starts chattering about going to Dwarka, and Draupadi, never able to deny her best friend’s sister, reluctantly gives in. Yudhisthir is only glad he has won at least one match today.
2.
It occurs to them that Draupadi would have been the best keeper of the Akshaya Patra – for she had ever diligently managed the Finances and Kitchens of Indraprastha, but she is not with them, so their eldest brother gives Bheema the vessel to keep. It is only meet, for when it comes to food, he is the most knowledgeable of them all. Every day, he takes care to serve his brothers and their companions and feeds himself last. Every day he wipes the dish clean, for hygiene is as important as the food itself, and Bheema will not have anyone ill under his charge.
Rishi Durvasa arrives with his proteges after he has finished his meal one afternoon, and Yudhisthir – after sending them for a bath – wrings his hands in dismay. “Oh, what shall we do now? How do we feed them?”
“The Akshaya Patra will give no more food, Jyestha,” he tells him, and Yudhisthir moans.
There is a knock on their window, and a peacock feather flashes outside.
“Madhav!” Arjuna exclaims, “Madhav is here. He has come to help us. Have faith yet, Jyestha.”
But the faith is for naught, for Krishna listens to their tale, leans over the empty pot, and shakes his head sorrowfully. “If only Krishnaa were here,” he laments, and Bheema heeds his words no more.
Durvasa returns from his bath and erupts in wrathful tirade, and flings at them a furious curse, “One day, you too shall be given hope, and have it snatched away.”
They bend their heads and listen, for what else is there to be done?
3.
Draupadi feels safest in her city in the hills, in her brothers’ arms, but her father has taught her of duty so she accompanies her twin to check on her mother-in-law. Not for the first time she wonders what keeps her there, in the shadows of the Kaurava’s might, cowering in her brother-in-law's house.
“This is my home,” Kunti says, when she asks her, “and they shall not drive me out of what my husband has left for me.” Draupadi supposes she can respect that.
Outside, Dhristadyumna stops to admire the flowers in the Prime Minister’s garden, ever flourishing under the ministrations of his gentle wife, and Draupadi leans against a tree to rest. A hand snatches at her waist, and before she can react, Jayadratha’s husky laugh tickles her hair. Draupadi does the only thing she can think of then – she screams.
Dhristadyumna barrels around the corner and throws himself at them. He is no match for most of the warriors who attend this court, but with Jayadratha he is equal.
Vidura comes running out of his house, and Jayadratha curses and flees, but not without leaving one last gift – a diagonal cut across her brother’s chest. Draupadi watches, and weeps.
.
.
Sahadeva has known premonitions all his life. Experience taught him to believe what they say, and this day, he knows, something ill befalls Panchali, miles away in the elephant city. But they are far away, and their hands are tied, and he must keep his silence, as he did all his life.
4.
Arjuna, now Brinnhala, loathes his- no, her new body, the strange vulnerability, the crawling sensation of lustful eyes trailing across her person as she walks. Nakula – now Granthika – teases her mercilessly, but calls himself her husband, reminds her to refer to herself as a woman, and wraps a loving arm around her when Keechak comes close.
It provides little obstacle for the burly man, for he is the King’s kin and hand, and there are few things he cannot possess. He grabs her when he comes to meet sweet Uttaraa and drags her uncomfortably close.
“Be mine,” he murmurs, hot and sultry, uncaring of his niece’s presence, and Brinnhala shudders. She suddenly has a lot more sympathy for her wife.
When she speaks of this to her brothers, Bheema bares his teeth and Sahadeva shuts his eyes in grief. But it is Nakula, sweet, dear brother that he is, who is the most furious. “I will kill him! I swear, I’ll kill him,” he seethes. “How dare he?”
Yudhisthir, however, shakes his head. “We can hardly afford to reveal ourselves now,” he says, sounding older than his years, “I am sorry, Arj- Brinnhala.”
She dips her head, and accepts that, for what else can she say?
5.
King Virat of Matsya is quietly apologetic when he hears of their true identities but politely refuses his aid. "We are a small kingdom, and can hardly afford to engage in family matters, Your Majesty,” he tells Yudhisthir. “Hastinapur has been ever friendly to us, and already we have offended them by hosting you."
Beside him, Keechak sneers. Perhaps it is the memory of Arjuna’s torment, but the Pandavas had hoped to have this kingdom's support, as if Keechak would ever owe them anything. Arjuna almost wishes Duryodhana would have attacked Matysa, for then perhaps they would have convinced this complacent king. Yudhisthir offers kind words and his farewells, and they leave Matsya with little to their name.
.
.
.
Drupada is eager to avenge his daughter's humiliation. For that they need an army, so the Pandavas call their potential allies to war. They arrive at Kurukshetra with their banners and standards, and Sahadeva sees Uncle Shalya in the Kaurava camp.
"I had hoped to have you fight with us," he cannot help but say, bitter and shamed. His uncle has no answer.
.
.
.
Yudhisthir is not quite sure what the Aacharya is planning. It seemed to him they were planning a chakravyuha before, but it never came to pass. Krishna says it is because Jayadratha has gained no boon. Yudhisthir cannot fathom what that means, but then, no one understands anything his cousin says.
“I have thought of a way to kill Drona,” Krishna tells him.
He had never thought of killing Drona, and he hears the plot with dismay. He has never lied in his life, and yet now he must utter words of deceit to the very person who taught him all he knew.
“It is not lying,” Krishna tells him. “It is not your fault if he does not hear.”
Yudhisthir clings to those words but hopes still that his teacher be spared.
They put it to action the following day. They are close, for already Drona has forsaken his weapons. Arjuna’s hands tremble, and Yudhisthir can sympathise. Dhristadyumna rushes forward and slices his throat. Somewhere close Jayadratha’s conch blows, and a single arrow strikes their commander’s head off his shoulders. Ashwatthama bears down upon them like Rudra come to earth. Krishna turns Arjuna’s chariot away. The rest of them follow, wondering what to tell their wife.
.
.
.
Yudhisthir gets away but Nakula’s day is far from over. Karna joins Ashwatthama as they chase him, and the King of Anga challenges him to a duel that he loses. He hopes he will be killed (for how could he live with such humiliation!?) but Karna – bloodied and vicious – laughs and mocks him, his lineage and his brother’s dharma, and leaves him sitting in the dust.
.
.
.
Arjuna grows weary of listening to Karna’s taunts sometime on the fifteenth day, and they finally face each other. The battle around them pauses, and the soldiers from either side give them a wide berth. Their enmity is inflammable, waiting for a spark to burst into conflagration. Both are eager to provide that spark, and no one wants to be in the way when the inevitable comes to pass.
He has to give it to Shalya, the man spews every imaginable insult at the King of Anga, and then some. He sees his ever-loathed adversary lift a simple arrow, and for a moment does not know what it is. Then, Ashwasena’s head appears at its tip, and for a moment, Arjuna panics. Madhav leans forward, forcing his chariot to sink to the ground, and the shot aimed at his neck takes off his diadem instead. Madhav gets down to lift the wheel, when Karna nocks another arrow. Arjuna stares. Surely, for all his rage, Karna would not attack him now? He had mocked Draupadi, true, but all others spoke of his kindness and generosity, and he had already spared his brothers.
But then he thinks of Vrishasena, and all his other sons they have killed, sees Karna lift his bow, and feels foolish for hoping otherwise.
(When he falls, he looks at his adversary standing tall and still, wrath upon his fair face like the sun on earth and is somehow reminded of Kunti after the dice game. ‘They could have been mother and son,’ he thinks, and then his eyes close, and he thinks no more.)
.
.
.
For all that has happened, and for all they have lost, Bheema cares only for this moment, when Dussashana lies dying at his feet, and he finally has a chance to fulfil his oath. “Call Panchali,” he tells his brothers – the ones that remain – his body thrumming with bloodlust.
Panchali comes upon the battlefield dark and fierce and beautiful. ‘If this is how the goddess Kaali had looked like,’ he thinks to himself, ‘then it is no wonder that Shiva lies at her feet.’
He rips open Dussashana’s chest (it is beautiful, but it hurts, oh how it hurts!) and lifts a handful of blood to pour down her open hair. Duryodhana is screaming, and Karna and Ashwatthama can barely hold him back. Panchali walks to him, her eyes alight, and Bheema finally sees some hope in this dire end.
And then, she stumbles and falls, mouth open in soundless cry. “Panchali,” he screams, and he hears his brothers echo his call. There is an arrow – a lonely, treacherous thing out of her back, and Bheema can think of only one who would do this.
“YOU COWARDLY SUTA!!” he roars, but Karna is as stunned as he is, and his bow is slung across his shoulders, his hands still restraining a struggling Duryodhana. He turns around wildly, and a raggedy soldier, a commoner, steps out from the Kaurava ranks, bow in hand.
“You killed a woman. Have you no honour?” Krishna speaks before anyone else can.
The man spits at his feet and then turns to spit at Duryodhana’s. When he speaks, his voice drips with scorn. "This is the witch for whom we must forsake home and hearth and come to war? Shame!"
Bheema sees red. 'She is no witch,' he wants to say. 'She is the kindest of us all.’
But Draupadi lies cold and lifeless, and her hair spread like starless sky mere feet away from her tormentor's blood, so he lunges forward and wraps his hands around the man’s neck, snaps it with a crack. The man falls, dead, and Bheema stands there, quiet and lost. Panchali is gone. Arjuna is no more. The throne is now a distant dream - more of a nightmare. Bheema sinks to his knees and weeps.
+1
Subhadra joins the exile
When Draupadi announces her intention to accompany them on their exile, Subhadra jumps up and begs to be taken along. No one wants her to come, but she will not be swayed, and never has any of the Pandavas or their Queen managed to deny her. So, with them she goes, much to Krishna’s dismay.
The two women share custody of the Akshaya Patra. When Durvasa comes to their place, it is Draupadi's day with the vessel. Already, she has eaten, and Yudhisthir frets. Subhadra pats his hand and goes out to meet the sages. There is but a small particle of food stuck to a corner, and when she places it upon Durvasa’s plate, Arjuna prepares himself to be cursed. But then Yogmaya's magic fills every plate with food, and there are singers and dancers in their forest glade, and the sages leave sated.
Things are bearable until Jayadratha comes to kidnap Draupadi one miserable morning. Subhadra stands before her sister-wife. When Dushala’s husband looks upon them, all he sees are grotesque rakshashis, and he runs all the way back to Hastinapur to tell tales of the company the Pandavas keep.
The Pandavas settle in Matsya for their year of exile in incognito, but all they need are new names, for somehow Draupadi and Subhadra are the commonest of women instead of their blue-blooded beauteous selves. It hardly stops Keechak, and when Bheema beats him to death, Subhadra runs her hands upon his bruised face and leaves it marred beyond recognition.
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