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#such pun
aromanticduck · 6 months
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"If you have two mums, what are you supposed to call them?" Easy. The taller one is Maximum and the smaller one is Minimum.
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thedankmemes · 6 months
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fish-enthusiast622 · 3 months
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urhokarila · 6 months
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Jesus christ, I wish to just one day be this pinnacle of wit, horniness, and sacrilege.
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selkypostergirl · 6 months
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Hot queer spaces tip: never trust any spot that has fewer than 2 fat and hairy people present!! You have no idea what other problems the space has if they can’t even meet the bear minimum
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the-punforgiven · 6 months
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Show up at work like hi boss sorry I'm late my I was helping my mother track down one specific 90s dungeon crawler for the purposes of obtaining a muffin recipe the developer hid in the files
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spyglassrealms · 1 year
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had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing
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not-your-lawyer · 9 months
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“French is such a beautiful, romantic language.”
“Cat, I farted.”
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wekny · 2 months
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spectacular how he overcomes the situation
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badolmen · 4 months
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WARNING 18+
19
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iknowmorethanyou · 24 days
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Follow for more ❤️
Click This For Powerfull Necklace ❤️
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aromanticduck · 9 months
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Just you wait until I qualify as a laser eye surgeon. Then you'll see. You'll all see.
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thedankmemes · 3 months
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sourcreammachine · 5 months
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oh shit - i was time travelling and accidentally killed an ancient italian. doesn’t matter tho everyone was killing each other, when in Reme do as the Remans
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gizmotemusic · 2 months
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You know how the word "feline" refers to cats, and "canine" refers to dogs? There are a whole bunch more animal adjectives, and here are some of them:
equine -> horses
bovine -> cows
murine -> mice/rats
porcupine -> porcupines
wolverine -> wolves
marine -> marmosets
saline -> salmonella
cosine -> cosmonauts
citrine -> citrus
combine -> combs
famine -> your fam
bromine -> your bros
palpatine -> your pals
alpine -> alps
christine -> christ
asinine -> asses
machine -> the speed of sound
landmine -> explosions
migraine -> migrants
trampoline -> tramps
dopamine -> dopes
medicine -> the Medici family
praline -> prey
masculine -> mascara
feminine -> femurs
latrine -> latissimus dorsi
fettuccine -> fetuses
poutine -> sadness
turbine -> turbans
engine -> england
supine -> soup
valentine -> valence electrons
Follow for more nature facts!
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devpalmer · 1 year
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military recruiter: so what got you guys interested in the marine corps
enormous horde of hagfish, ispods and bottom-feeding crustaceans: oh. uh. is that how you pronounce it
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