#sue me the show is beautiful and I was thinking about those scenes while writing this so I just went oh fuck it I’ll put them in

[set-phasers-to-whump]

Day 7: Post a link to your favorite whump fic of all time (or reblog it and/or make a list of them!)

ok i decided to limit myself to just 10 of my all time favorite whump fics. these are ones that i return to all the time, that i reread whenever i'm having a bad day, you know the vibe. all of them are very dear to me and i hope someone else will enjoy them too!!! i'll put them under a readmore since this got a bit long :)

Caged by Cargo - 911. Cargo is one of my absolute favorite writers and i've been in love with this fic for a longass time. the emotions and caretaking are absolutely top tier, and there's a lovely blend of emotional and physical whump. summary: "As Eddie stands in his kitchen after returning home from tonight's fight, he finally cracks. He starts falling apart and he knows there's only one person in the entire world he trusts to pick up the pieces. It's why he's dialling Buck's number before he even knows he has his phone in his hands."

Bloodshot Soul by OrionLady - bourne series. this one straight up has made me cry i can't even lie. it's a beautiful and very genuine exploration of the characters and the emotional whump is wonderfully painful. summary: "He cannot fathom why a crusty old skipper would care so much about a strange John Doe he fished out of the water, why he would smile and touch his shoulder and feed him pie. Then again, there are many things he doesn’t understand yet. The closer he and Giancarlo get, the less he wants to remember. An exploration into Jason and Giancarlo’s friendship during his two weeks aboard the fishing trawler."

In The Shadows of The Night by MissCrazyWriter321 - grimm. this fic is thee one that i turn to whenever i'm feeling sad. i love nick and rosalee's dynamic and this fic lets nick break down while keeping both of them perfectly in character. i'm absolutely obsessed with it. summary: "A board creeks beneath her foot, and he startles, but calms quickly when he sees her. “Sorry,” she murmurs. “I hope I didn’t wake you.” Obviously she didn’t, but she needs to be careful how she handles this. If she pushes too hard, he’ll just end up shutting down."

Eggs Two Ways by leslielol - law and order svu. something about the writing style in this one absolutely captivates me. like, there was a period of time where i straight up read this fic once a week and i'm not kidding. they're both super in character and it's a delightful read! summary: "It’s not often Barba has a reason to exercise a set of skills separate from those as a prosecutor. While sat in a holding cell nursing a broken nose, Carisi learns he’s as sharp as ever. (A missing-scene fic from 16x15 “Undercover Mother.”)"

Breaking all the things I'd wish to keep and Can't erase, can't rewind by Elisexyz - the man from uncle. ok yeah this is technically two. sue me. ely is like, my favorite fic author ever and i love all of her tmfu stuff, but these two hold a special place in my heart and make me go absolutely crazy every time (they go together btw). if you're into tmfu and for some reason haven't read her fics then uhh. get on that right now bc she's amazing. summary: "Napoleon maintains that attempted murder cannot be classified as an "accident"."// "“I didn’t think it was him.”"

the moon points to the sun by haloud - roswell new mexico. this fic has been making me insane for literal years. it's emotional whump and has a somewhat different vibe to the other fics on this list, but i absolutely adore it. this writer understands the characters so well and their style is absolutely incredible. top tier fic right here. summary: "They don't do apologies, Max and Michael. If they started, they'd never stop."

No Rules, No Winners by April_Valentine - person of interest. this is one of those times where you watch something and you're like 'man i wish they'd addressed this pain in the show' and then you find the absolute perfect fic that does address it. it's so tender and lovely and exactly what the episode was missing. summary: "Set just before the tag of "Baby Blue." After leaving Moretti's safe house, Reese goes back to the library."

The Car Accident by Tipper - sneaky pete. another one i've been obsessed with for literal years. it's on the longer side but it's so good, wonderful family dynamics and a really excellent storyline. summary: "After Julia found out who he was, all Marius wanted was one more Sunday night dinner with the family. It was a mistake. The trusting way they looked at him, the uncertain way she looked at him.... He left early, afraid to sink any deeper. The black truck came out of nowhere as he drove away..."

Too Hot (Hot Damn) by WasteTimeandType - the man from uncle. i loveee some heat exhaustion fics and this one is so good! i reread it recently when i was sick and miserable and seeing illya much more sick and miserable than i was really made me feel better lol. summary: "'Out of all the UNCLE missions, this was by far the worst. He’d been shot, stabbed, tortured with water and forced to run miles in a forest in the middle of Canada. All of that was preferable to this. The damn heat.' Illya suffers from heat exhaustion and Gaby and Napoleon take care of him. Kink Meme fill."

A Little Tender Care by ArgylePirateWD - person of interest. this one's a sickfic, i read it before i actually started watching the show and absolutely adored it, and i still adore it now. true to the title, it's super tender and soft and it's a really sweet read. summary: "The Man in the Suit doesn't usually take sick days. Usually."

and that's 10!! this is far from a complete list of all the fics i adore, but these are the first 10 (or 11) that i knew i needed to rec. if anyone wants more recs, lmk, i've got tons :)

#whumpmasinjuly2023 #wij23day7 #i say things #fic rec #doing this was so much fun. makes me think about posting my bigass fic spreadsheet thing but i'm always convinced i should do more with it #before i send it out into the world lmao.

[still-snowing]

a sequel of sorts.

turns out, lan wangji does think about it.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #lan wangji #wei wuxian #cql #still not really cql lol but #did I borrow A LOT of show imagery even if this is clearly novel canon?? yes #sue me the show is beautiful and I was thinking about those scenes while writing this so I just went oh fuck it I’ll put them in #I’m the artist I do what I want for the sake of thematic resonance part 2 #anyway!!! I’ve been sitting on this for two weeks and I don’t like it as much as the first one but I was rlly interested #in exploring what it feels like to love someone for years and then you lose him and then he comes back in another body #and like that’s still a miracle you know?? what right do you have to complain #but the body you imagined to love doesn’t exist anymore #and you mourn it #and sometimes you dream about it #and yet this new body you can love so you do #tbh I don’t think mxtx has thought about this for one minute but I’m obsessed with this concept lmao #and there’s this whole silent subplot in the novel connecting wwx’s physicality and ownership over his body that I could talk abt for ages #and I wanted to look at it from another’s perspective #so here! #I’ll shut the fuck up now ❤️ #my art #(also forgive my liberal use of commas I debated over commas placement for longer than would be considered healthy #and then I went for all the commas)

[wishuhadstayed]

It Takes a Village

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Word Count: about 3000

Summary: when the Hotchner fam is in need, it’s a good thing to have many helping hands. Part 9 to Begin Again.

Warnings: mentions of blood and pregnancy complications

Author’s Note: I really am sorry for that cliffhanger y’all. 😬 I’m just glad you still love me after being gone for like, a literal year. Shoutout to @agent-laufeyson you’re the best 💜 (PS, please ignore Haley in the below gif, also please picture Hotch in the hospital in casual clothes.) 😌

Previous Chapter

Masterlist

For a moment, Aaron’s whole world stopped turning. A cold, familiar sense of dread settled into his chest at the words, “You all may want to sit down for this.”

“Not again,” he thought. “I can’t do this again, we can’t do this again.”

“God please,” he begged internally, slumping into a chair, “if you’re listening, please don’t take her. We need her.”

Suddenly, the voice of a surgeon cut through the silent room like a knife.

“Sir, your wife lost a significant amount of blood. We had no choice but to perform an emergency c-section. Although your daughter is slightly pre-term, she seems to be in good health. However, we would like to keep her a while for monitoring.”

“And my wife?” He inquires, voice trembling with fear.

“It was touch and go there for a while, but we were able to locate the source of bleeding and get it under control. Your wife is out of surgery. She’s stable, but she is very weak and currently asleep. She will also be hospitalized for recovery. At least a week most likely, maybe longer.”

“Mama’s gonna be okay?” Jack pipes up.

“Yes, she is buddy,” Aaron replies, ruffling his hair. “Thanks to that doctor.”

“Thanks for making my mama feel better.”

“You’re most welcome,” the surgeon replied. “You and your dad can go visit her now. The rest of you will have to wait. She needs her rest. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you doctor,” Aaron says, shaking his hand with a sigh of relief.

“You go Aaron,” Rossi encourages, clapping him on the shoulders before he even had a chance to turn around. “Go see your wife and baby. We’ll wait.”

——————————————————————————

Entering your hospital room, Aaron thought your sleeping face was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Sitting on the side of your hospital bed, he grabbed hand as you stirred awake.

“Hello Angel,” he murmurs as you take everything in. “You gave us quite a scare,” he mentions, softly caressing your face.

“The baby,” you whisper, touching his hand.

“Ssssshhhh,” he soothes. “The baby is fine. She’s in the nursery. You just rest okay?”

Instant relief washes over your face. “Jack?”

“I’m right here mama!” he exclaims, scrambling into Aaron’s lap.

“I want to see the baby,” you tell Aaron.

“I know darling, but you really need your rest.”

“I NEED to see her, Aaron.” You plead.

Taking the hint, he begins to rise. “Jack why don’t you stay with mama, while I go talk to the nurse, okay?”

“Okay Daddy,” he agrees, climbing in the bed next to you.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better mama,” Jack says, looking up at you with the sweetest face.

“Me too, baby,” you reply. “Are you ready to meet your sister?”

“Yeah!” he exclaims with a look of excitement. “Can I hold her?”

“Of course you can buddy, as long as you’re careful,” Aaron replies as he re-enters the room. “The nurses are bringing her down.”

A few minutes later a nurse arrives holding a tiny pink blanket. “Who wants to hold her first?” She inquires.

“You should hold her first, Aaron,” you suggest.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he insists. “You’ve been the strongest, bravest mom I know already. You should hold her first.”

As the nurse places the tiny, squirming bundle with her father’s dark hair in your arms, all the stress and chaos of the day seems to just melt away.

As you free a tiny hand from the swaddle so she can grasp your finger, her eyes flutter open.

“She’s perfect, isn’t she?” you wonder aloud.

“Absolutely lovely,” Aaron muses, draping his arm around your shoulders. “Just like her mother.”

——————————————————————————

Meanwhile, cooped up in the waiting area, the BAU team began to grow restless.

“Maybe we should get out of the hospital and go shopping while we wait,” Garcia suggests. “I think Y/N deserves all the gifts and pretty things today.”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” JJ questions.

“TARGET RUN!” all three women exclaim in unison.

They all wandered the aisles like kids in a candy store.

“I’m getting her balloons,” Penelope says. “Like so many pink balloons. Nobody can feel bad with that many balloons.”

“Flowers,” Rossi chimes in. “We should get her plenty of flowers to make the room cheerful.”

“We’ll have to get those from hospital gift shop,” JJ comments.

“I’d want chocolate,” Emily suggests. “Chocolate helps everything.”

“Look,” Morgan says, showing a pink stuffed bunny to Garcia. “It’s cute right? For the baby?”

“It’s perfect, Derek,” she assures, grabbing his hand. “Very cute.”

“Oh, a memory book,” Reid mentions. “So they can write down details every day.”

“Leave it to the genius to pick out a book,” Morgan jokes with a playful shove.

“Settle down, boys.” JJ cuts in. “As much as I’m sure she’ll appreciate the pretty gifts, she did just have a baby,” she reminds the group. “She needs some practical things too, trust me.” As she picks out a blanket and a pacifier, Henry begins to grow restless. As she picked up a snack for him, another idea crossed her mind.

“We should get something for Jack, too,” she thought aloud. “LEGOs. He loves LEGOs. And some gummy bears.”

A sudden ringing startles everyone.

“Ssssshhhhhhh,” Garcia commands as she puts the phone on speaker. “It’s Y/N! Quiet!”

“Hello my angel dear,” she lilts, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m very tired, but otherwise happy and healthy,” you report. “Is everyone with you?”

“We’re all here,” JJ chimes in.

“Hi everyone!” You reply. “In that case, I have news. The nurses have said that we’re allowed to have visitors first thing in the morning, if you’d like to see our newest addition.”

“Oh, wild horses could not keep us away, ma’am.” Penelope assures. “We’ll see you all bright and early.”

“Not too early, Penny,” you remind her. “You gotta give me a chance to wake up first.”

“Right, sooooo 10am then?”

“It’s a date.”

——————————————————————————

That evening, you soaked up as much family time as possible before the wave of visitors began. Aaron was a natural, as you’d known he would be from seeing him with Jack.

Watching him with the baby was quickly becoming your favorite pastime. The look of sheer enchantment on his face as he held her close and rocked her made you fall a little more in love with him every moment.

“Daddy loves you so much,” he coos to the tiny bundle in his arms.

“What?” he questions as he catches you watching.

“Oh nothing,” you reply, ruffling Jack’s hair as he slept by your side. “Just wondering how I got so lucky.”

“I think it’s me who got lucky. I thought I’d never love again. I was so closed off. I was prepared to spend the rest of my life as a single dad, doing everything on my own. Now,” he chokes out, “now I’d fall apart without you.”

“Good thing you’ve got two of us now to keep you boys in line then,” you return with a wicked grin. “She’s got you wrapped around her finger already.”

——————————————————————————

When you awoke the next morning, you were greeted by the most beautiful sight. Aaron still asleep in the recliner next your bed, his arm cradling the sleeping baby on his chest. While you hated to disturb the peaceful scene, you knew the team would be arriving as soon as the clock struck 10.

“Aaron,” you whisper. “Aaron, wake up,” slightly louder this time. He stirs awake, moving slowly so as not to wake the sleeping child.

“What is it babe?”

“The team will be here soon,” you inform him.

“Ah. I should go get ready,” he replies.

“Mama, can I hold her while dad gets ready?” Jack asks, startling the both of you.

“Oh buddy, I didn’t realize you were awake,” you say to him. “Of course you can hold her if you want.”

Jack scrambled into your lap as Aaron rounded the bed.

“Just be really careful with her bud,” Aaron reminds him as he settles the baby on his lap.

“I will dad,” he replies.

As Aaron walked away, the baby’s eyes fluttered open and she let out a small cry.

“Here, why don’t you give her a pacifier?” you suggest.

“Sssshhhh, don’t cry,” he says, giving her the pacifier, and then softly stroking her head.

“What do you think about your baby sister, Jack?”

“She’s pretty, Mama, just like you.”

“Thank you baby,” you reply. “That’s very sweet. I love you.”

“I love you too, mama.”

“And I love you all,” Aaron adds.

——————————————————————————

A short while later, a knock at the door alerts you that your visitors have arrived.

“You ready for this?” Aaron asks as he walks to the door.

“I’ve never been more ready. I just know they’re gonna be so in love with her.”

Aaron opens the door and the team flows in with their myriad of gifts.

Penelope hands off her bouquet of balloons to Derek and rushes over to hug you.

“Oh Y/N,” she gushes, cupping your face. “You look beautiful. It’s so good to see you, we were all worried sick.”

“Thank you Penny,” you reply, eyeing the room. “I’m assuming the shopping spree was your idea.”

“Oh shush woman,” she scolds. “You deserve it. We wanted your room to cozy and pretty because we heard you’re going to be here for a while. Sue us.”

“Thank you all for the gifts, you really didn’t have to do any of that,” you reply, tearing up as you address the whole room. “Just being there for us when we needed you the most was all we could ask for and you’ve gone above and beyond.”

“This is the least we could do, really,” JJ assures, softly rubbing your hand.

“Oh fine, be modest if you insist,” you reply with an eye roll. “I’d open all the gifts now, but I imagine you’re all much more interested in our slightly earlier than anticipated arrival.”

Seemingly for the first time since they came in, everyone notices Aaron’s presence and the little pink bundle in his arms.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” you continue, “the announcement you’ve all been waiting for. Introducing Miss Savannah Rose.”

“What a lovely name,” Emily chimes in.

“Thank you,” Aaron cuts in. “We would have told you all sooner but we actually just decided on it while we were here,” he says beaming down at his perfectly content infant daughter. “You can all hold her if you like.”

“I’m sure we’d all love to,” JJ replies, “but i think we should leave that you for now. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to spoil her rotten just as soon as she gets home.”

“Right! We just wanted to check on everyone and make sure you have everything you need,” Garcia adds.

“Well thanks to you guys, I think our hospital room is pretty well stocked. I just wish I could say the same for the nursery,” you say with a shrug.

“What’s wrong with the nursery?” Rossi inquires.

“I’m afraid that’s my fault,” Aaron admits. “Between me traveling so much for work and Y/N being pregnant and taking care of Jack, it got pushed to the wayside. I thought we had a bit more time.”

“Aaron, how many times do I have to tell you it’s not your fault?” you soothe, reaching for his hand. “We’ll figure it out together.”

“I know, I just wanted everything to be perfect for you.”

“It already is dear,” you assure him with a smile. “Why don’t you go get some coffee, you look exhausted.”

“Good idea babe,” he says, settling the baby into your arms.

“I could use a cup myself,” Morgan adds.

——————————————————————————

“Derek, I need your help,” Aaron pleads, once out of earshot of the room.

“Of course man, anything you need.”

“We’re going to be in the hospital for about a week while Y/N recovers and I’m desperate to have a nice nursery for her when we get home, but I obviously can’t leave her alone. I know it’s a lot to ask, but is there anything you could do to help?”

“Sure thing man, don’t worry about it. That’s the best gift I could hope to give you.”

“You’re the best,” Aaron replies, slapping him on the shoulder. “Just don’t let Y/N find out, okay? I want it to be a surprise.”

“My lips are sealed,” Derek promises.

——————————————————————————

That afternoon Derek had the whole team assembled in the nursery to get started.

“Alright everyone,” he begins, “We’ve got one week to make this the best surprise gift possible. Let’s make it happen.”

“What color should we paint it?” Penelope inquires.

“Got that covered already,” Derek replies while opening a paint can. “Purple. Hotch said it’s Y/N’s favorite color.”

“Oh Derek, it’s perfect!” she squealed, squeezing him tight. “She’s gonna adore it.”

“While the two of us are painting,” Penny addresses the group, “why don’t the rest of you do some some shopping?”

“Great idea, baby girl.” Morgan chimes in. “I think they’ve got the basics from the baby shower and I saw a crib and changing table in the garage, but I’m sure you guys can find things they’re missing.”

“Oh I think we’ve got this,” JJ states confidently. “Let’s get this show on the road,” she commands, herding Emily, Rossi, and Reid out the door.

When the group arrived back at the Hotchner house several hours later, the nursery walls were covered in a soft shade of lavender; as were Morgan and Garcia.

“I don’t know how you two managed to get any paint on the walls,” JJ said with a grin.

“Smile for the camera, you two,” Emily cuts in, snapping a picture on her phone as the couple hug and smile in their paint splattered clothes.

——————————————————————————

The next day conversation flowed as team was busily assembling furniture. Rossi, Reid, and Morgan worked on the crib while Penny, Emily, and JJ tackled the changing table.

“Let me know if you ladies need any help,” Morgan mentions casually.

“Oh right,” Emily grumbles, “because OBVIOUSLY the women need a big, strong man’s help, right?”

“I didn’t say that,” Derek counters. “I was just offering.”

“Oh not only will we get ours done without your help, we’ll get it done faster,” Emily challenges.

“Oh yeah?”

“YEAH!” all three women reply in unison.

“You’re on,” Morgan accepts.

“Oh you’re so going down,” Penny taunts, throwing pieces of plastic wrapping at Derek.

“Losers buy sushi for lunch?” Rossi suggests.

“Oh that could be pretty expensive for you Dave,” JJ comments. “You sure you’re up for that?”

“Ha ha, very funny,” Rossi says, rolling his eyes. “We’ll see about that.”

Two hours later, as JJ and Emily were finishing up the crib, the men came dragging in, arms full of takeout bags.

“Say cheese!” Penelope squeals as she takes their picture. “For the bragging rights.”

——————————————————————————

The next days were spent putting the finishing touches on the room.

A purple gradient butterfly mobile above the crib from JJ.

A bookshelf with a fully stocked library, specially selected by Reid. Emily places her floral covered photo album on top.

Lavender curtains with a shimmery overlay, Penelope’s contribution.

Derek’s stuffed bunny, carefully laid in a white gliding chair with purple cushions, which was generously paid for by Dave.

Derek lays a soft shag rug over the hardwood floor and drapes a plush floral blanket over the edge of the crib.

“I think that about does it, guys,” he says with a look of pride.

“You know, I bought them that photo album,” Emily comments, “it would be a shame if we didn’t put a few in there as a gift.”

“Yeah, but how do we get a picture of the whole group?” JJ wonders out loud.

“We could set a timer,” Penelope suggests.

“Yeah, but who sets the timer?” Reid asks, as he turns to see the whole group looking at him.

“Seriously guys?”

Between the camera falling over, closed eyes, and Spence not making it back before the timer, it took a few tries before there was a good group shot.

“And now a funny one,” Penny insists.

Once the photos, including the bloopers, have been printed and arranged in the album, JJ makes sure to write descriptions for each in the margins before setting it back on the shelf.

“Good job team,” Derek announces. “Our work here is done.”

——————————————————————————

After all the chaos surrounding the birth and a full week in the hospital, nothing felt better than standing at the door of your house with the love of your life and your two beautiful children.

“You ready to finally get some rest, baby?” Aaron asks as he ushers you inside the house, one solid arm arm around the small of your back and Savannah in her carrier on the other.

“Yeah,” you sigh, dropping your purse on the coffee table and slipping off your shoes. “I just wish we didn’t still have to worry about the nursery,” you groan, plopping down onto the sofa.

“About that,” Aaron says with a mischievous grin, offering you his free hand.

“What are you up to, Aaron Hotchner?” You muse as he leads you down the hallway.

“Just trust me,” he assures, coming to a halt in front of the nursery door. “Close your eyes,” he requests.

“What is going on here?” you inquire again.

“Just close your eyes please, darling,” he asks. “For me.”

“Alright, alright,” you comply, “this better be good.”

“Don’t open them until I say so, okay?”

“Yes sir.”

With eyes closed and Jack close by your side, you hear the door open and the rustling of paper inside the room.

“Alright,” he whispers, sliding his arm around your shoulders. “Open your eyes.”

—————————————————————————

Taglist: @ange-must-die @agent-laufeyson @poetsacademia @hotchners-slut @arganfics @ladyreapermc @rousethemouse @less-intelligent-spencerreid @tgibstan @themanip @word-scribbless @quillvine @glizzieborden @miss-united-ace @samayoshito @hotchnerundercover @pedropascalian @thenewnormalforensicator @crowdedimagines @sagittarianwolf @kleff03

#aaron hotchner imagine #1 800 aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #hotch x you #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds fanfiction #thomas gibson imagine #thomas gibson x reader #thomas gibson #aaron hotchner #hotch

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Sole Crusher

Well... It's finally here... the episode introducing the new bee hero. And what do you know? It looks like I was right about how the new character would be portrayed.

It's kind of funny how I made predictions exaggerating what could happen, and they were surprisingly accurate. Isn't that funny?

Let's just get into the seventh (chronologically the seventh and the seventh episode in the season to air after “Mr. Pigeon 72”) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Sole Crusher. Damn, I hate that a pun this clever was used for the title.

We get to the point pretty quickly with the first scene being Zoe arriving in Paris and getting a tour of the city. She asks to stop at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, where she meets Marinette through some brief Unfunny Marinette Slapstick. The two quickly strike up a conversation.

I mean, it's not like Zoe is the sister of the absolute worst human being in existence, right?

Marinette compliments Zoe's shoes, and she points out that she designed them herself, and wrote every good thing anyone has ever said to her on them. But because she only has one friend, there's only a standard “I <3 U” on the left shoe.

So Zoe leaves the bakery and heads to Le Grand Paris where she meets her mother, Audrey. Unlike how she talked with Marinette, Zoe pretends to be just as snobby as Audrey in order to fit in. She then meets up with Chloe, who criticizes her for having poor person things like a phone without any diamonds embedded in it. And then she sees Zoe's shoes.

Look, that meme was already dated when it was referenced in Black Panther three years ago. Please don't try to reference memes in 2021, Miraculous Ladybug.

Chloe offers some golden heels while saying that those kind of shoes are for winners to wear and crush the losers underneath. This is the only episode to mention this kind of ideology, and believe me, it gets worse when Chloe decides to teach Zoe how to be like her.

Get used to this. This episode is all about demolishing any semblance of likability in Chloe's character. Now that Astruc doesn't have to bother with writing Chloe with decency since she's not Queen Bee, watch as he turns her into an absolute caricature of her former self.

Yes, Chloe has ordered her father to give her a lot of frivolous things in the past, but she has been shown to care about him, like immediately rushing to hug him after she was safe in “Origins” and showing concern for when he was akumatized into Malediktator while apologizing for causing it. For the love of God, one of the first things she did when she allied with Hawkmoth at the end of Season 3 was to have him unto her parents' akumatization. I guess she only cared about her rich parents for their status and not because she actually loved them right?

Next up on the list of Chloe's positive qualities to ruin is her friendship with Sabrina.

🎶It's seven o'clock in the morning🎶 🎶I can't believe they made this scene🎶 🎶With the writing Astruc's enforcing🎶 🎶It's like he's trying to piss off me🎶

Yep, Chloe doesn't view Sabrina in a twisted view of friendship anymore. Now she's a slave. I'm not exaggerating by the way, he actually said that in a tweet.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES

Okay, so I guess all those times we saw Chloe playing superheroes with Sabrina in “Antibug” and “Miraculer” were just a slave driver playing with their property. Actually apologizing to Sabrina for getting her akumatized in those episodes? Protecting her from the Scarlet Akumas in “Ladybug”? She was just interested in keeping her slave around. I think Astruc may have slept through the slavery unit in his history class. Yes, Sabrina was mostly used as a joke to show how controlling Chloe could be, but there were still semblances of an actual friendship between the two.

Chloe arrives at school and introduces Zoe as her half-sister, despite being the same age and having the same mother. Because I guess we can add basic biology to the list of things the writers don't understand. Now that we're at school, Chloe's friendship with Adrien is next up on the chopping block.

Yep, despite being Adrien's only friend and making a big deal about valuing his friendship to the point where she threw a big party just to make sure he wouldn't leave her and risked cooperating with an Akuma to save him, now Chloe just sees Adrien as a rich meal ticket. Two of the earliest episodes to show Chloe had a more compassionate side to her, and they just undid them. Even as much as I hated the episode, “Felix” showed Chloe was willing to cooperate with Marinette and her friends just to find a way to cheer Adrien up on the anniversary of his mother's not-death.

For the love of God, Astruc, 1984 was supposed to warn people about what could happen if they rewrote the past, not encourage people to rewrite the past. He probably finished Animal Farm thinking Snowball really did work alongside the humans, didn't he?

Marinette comes up and Zoe pretends to hate her, leading Marinette to wonder why she did that. She texts Zoe (she gave her number to her earlier) and invites her to a concert on the Liberty, but Chloe finds out. Zoe thinks fast and pretends it's just so she can torment her more. Chloe then takes out a book listing all the ways she can torture Marinette. I wonder if this is a metaphor for the writing process behind most of the episodes last season.

Zoe decides to go outside for some fresh air, and Andre comforts her. Funny how Andre bends over backwards to give Chloe whatever she wants, yet he's willing to actually talk to Zoe like an actual parent. Andre tries to cheer Zoe up, but she talks about her past where she had to put on an act so she would be liked, but (bet you've never heard this before) she just wants to be accepted for who she truly is. The surge of emotions is enough for Shadowmoth to akumatize her into Sole Crusher.

In addition to having one of the most clever puns for an Akuma name, I actually like Sole Crusher's design. Not only is it a good excuse to reuse Chloe's character design, it makes sense thematically, as Chloe was trying to mold Zoe into a copy of herself. The gold and diamonds also make sense given Chloe's love for shiny things. Her powers tie into the bizarre belief Chloe has about stepping on the winners. Whenever Sole Crusher kicks or steps on someone, she absorbs them and gets progressively bigger, making it easier to do so. While it's not cracking my top ten anytime soon, it's still an interesting character design.

Sole Crusher heads to the hotel to get Chloe, and she manages to get away pretty quickly. Maybe in an alternate universe, she's a track star? For some reason, she runs to the Dupain-Cheng bakery and then... Oh my God... pushes Marinette's parents so they get absorbed by Sole Crusher, before trying to do the same with Marinette.

When has Chloe ever done something like that? Whenever she endangered someone during an Akuma attack, it was unintentional or a result of her naivety. She was only trapped in Pixelator's dimension because Adrien tried diving to save her, she only alerted Rogercop to Ladybug's presence because she eagerly called out for her, and during “Zombizou” she only tried to throw Sabrina towards the horde of kissing zombies once, and that was meant to highlight her growth. The only person to actually do stuff like this consistently is Lila, but I guess she got vaporized by Big Brother offscreen.

This episode is determined to make the audience hate Chloe by retconning everything about her character while portraying her as a complete monster. As bad as Chloe could get, she was never selfish enough to use anyone as a human shield. This kind of behavior honestly could be explained by saying Chloe was lashing out as a result of losing the Bee Miraculous permanently, but the events of the Season 3 finale aren't mentioned ONCE, not even in the next episode that introduces Queen Bee's replacement! How the hell can you set up the next Bee hero without explaining why the original needs to be replaced in the first place?! And trust me, I'm going to talk about Zoe replacing Chloe later.

Sole Crusher grabs Marinette in her hand, so the Horse Kwami, Kaalki, uses her power to teleport over to Adrien's house and inform him Ladybug needs help, meaning once again Adrien did nothing in this episode before becoming Cat Noir.

At the Liberty, Chloe offers more victims to Sole Crusher in the form of the band Kitty Section (consisting of Luka, Juleka, Rose, Ivan, and Mylene) and theatens the giant golden supervillain she can send her back to Paris, even though she's really not in a position to bargain right now. And she STILL continues to insult her. Do you hate Chloe yet? Come on, do you? The writers won't stop until you do.

After we see Sole Crusher's conflicted emotions, Marinette is set free by Cat Noir and transforms into Ladybug, immediately summoning her Lucky Charm, a shoehorn. They only learn Zoe's sneakers were where she were akumatized thanks to Chloe's ranting, so the episode unintentionally made Chloe save the day. Ladybug breaks into Le Grand Paris and breaks the sneakers where Zoe hid them, using the shoehorn to open a door. So Sole Crusher is de-evilized, Ladybug fixes the damage, and gives yet another charm to Zoe.

Afterwards, Zoe goes to the Liberty, apologizes for the act she put on, all while divulging to the audience her “tragic backstory”.

Of course, everyone welcomes her with open arms.

And right here is where the biggest problem I have with Zoe as a character. I normally hesitate to use this term given how often it gets thrown around when criticizing characters these days, but I really can't say anything else.

Zoe... is a Mary Sue.

For those who don't know, the term Mary Sue originated in a Star Trek fanfiction from 1973 satirizing several self-insert stories at the time. Most of these stories showed a beautiful young woman joining the crew of the Enterprise and immediately gaining the attention of the crew. Mary Sue parodied this character archetype by showing how much she was appreciated by Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, the latter being driven to tears at her funeral despite his species being emotionless normally.

What does this have to do with Zoe? She has the exact same storyline as Mary Sue in the parody fanfiction. Her mere presence is enough to make Chloe act extremely out of character in an attempt to make her look better, and as soon as she apologizes while giving a frankly vague backstory, everyone just accepts her as their friend, and I mean everyone in the entire class. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't feel earned. Why was she bullied at her old school? What did her bullies have against her? What caused her to stop going along with her peers, and why did everyone turn against her? How the hell did the bullies who put cockroaches in another student's locker get no punishment while the victim was forced to transfer schools? It's an intentionally unclear backstory designed to make the audience feel sympathetic towards Zoe without actually doing anything else.

I want to ask anyone reading this who watched the episode a question: Outside of her backstory, what do we actually know about Zoe?

What is her personality like? She's nice? Socially awkward? We've never had a character like that in Miraculous Ladybug before! Sorry Marinette, Adrien, Juleka, Nathaniel, Mylene, and Marc, there's a new character with more personality than all of you combined!

What are her goals? She wants to be an actress? Great, but why? Even though there's no clear answer for why Marinette loves fashion, or why Alya loves journalism, or why Nino loves DJing, you can still see the passion in their lives when they do something related to their goals. Zoe only says she wants to be an actress, connecting it to her people pleaser backstory (and given how it ended, she must be a terrible actress), and in the next episode, she immediately gets the lead role in a student film.

When Mylene got the starring role in the movie in “Horrificator”, we at least got snippets of her acting skills in the same episode that established her desire to be an actress, which is also implied to be because she was inspired by her father in “The Mime”. She didn't just say she wanted to be an actress and got the leading role. She still had problems to overcome like her cowardice, which threw her own self-confidence into doubt. Here, Zoe just says she wants to be an actress, and is rewarded for no reason the very next episode.

Zoe basically exists only to be a foil to Chloe, and the writers had no idea what to do in terms of a personality, so they just dumped a bunch of extremely likable character traits onto her without thinking of how her character could come off. And like I said, she's a Mary Sue.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. I've seen a handful of posts on this very site calling Zoe a Mary Sue. In fact, I even asked another Tumblr user @anxresi​ to quote their take on Zoe being a Mary Sue, which I couldn't even top in terms of accuracy. They basically listed off five things that made Zoe a Mary Sue.

She has to have a ‘tragic backstory’ so all the other characters will fall in love with her. Usually within minutes, in the very first episode they’re introduced.

She has to have a supercute design so that the audience at home will fall in love with her. And if they don’t, they’re automatically dismissed as ‘haterz’ even if their objections are purely from a writing POV.

Her only flaw will be thinking too little of herself. “What, lil ol’ me as the Bee Miraculous holder? With my shyness, colorful shoes, chic beret and personalized pink strip in my hair? Gosh, who’d have thought it?”

The contrast to her half-sister will be a constant plot point, with Chloe always getting dumped on. “You see, kids? Bad things happen to bad people. But you see this super-sweet girl over here? She gets a free DAD. Instant FRIENDS. To star in her own MOVIE. The chance to be a SUPERHERO, even though she only arrived last week. Who cares if she has no depth, no personality and barely any reason for being in the show, apart from being a massive ‘Up Yours’ to all the Chloe fans out there?”

What about character development, Mr Generic Zag Guy? “Development? What’s that?! Zoe is already perfect as she is. The only ‘development’ she’ll receive is having her hair done in the first episode she’s introduced. Besides, That‘d’ word is banned here at Zag studios. Why do you think we abandoned Chloe’s stillborn arc so quickly? This is a KIDS show, why bother trying to create a complex character with more than one dimension?”

This is essentially who Zoe is. She's perfect, has no character flaws, has a cute design so the audience will love her already, and was designed only to replace Chloe as Queen Bee. That's all she is.

So the episode ends with Zoe feeling happy at all the new friends she made while we get one of the most blatant attempts of symbolism in the ending card I've ever seen.

See, look. While Marinette is happily talking with Zoe with the image of Ladybug next to them, Chloe is to the far left with an EVIL purple aura, showing how bad she is compared to how great Zoe is. Only a braindead moron would actually like Chloe over the super awesome and pretty Zoe!

I'll give my final thoughts on the episode in the next part where I analyze this plotline as a whole.

LINK TO “QUEEN BANANA” REVIEW

#immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #thomas astruc #thomas astruc salt #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #adrien agreste #cat noir #chat noir #chloe bourgeois #queen bee #queen b #zoe lee #vesperia #sabrina raincomprix #andre bourgeois

[fictionissocialinquiry]

FISI’s Favourite Zutara Fics

A lil late for ZFAW’s Saturday prompt, sorry about that! Haven’t had any internet over the weekend. But better late than never!

I’m not gonna lie… a lot of these are angsty af. But I promise you they’re not gratuitous angst! They’re well written, beautiful stories that will make you feel like a better person for having read them. These are my favourite all time fics, ones I’ve read more than once and will continue to read (even though I’m taking a week break from fandom and fic).

 Multi-Chaptered Fics

The Sparrowkeet Series by audreyii_fic

To be honest, this story’s summary doesn’t do it justice so I ain’t including it. Originally a one shot, Sparrowkeet is headcanon for me now. Move over canon, this is where it’s at. Audreyii_fic’s characterisation, world building, and writing is exquisite. It’s incredible. She manages to channel the same fun and whimsical energy from the show while allowing the characters to grow and develop to places I wish they had actually been taken.

This one is a fandom Must Read and one I return to regularly.

 Clothe Me in Seasons, Dress Me in Snow by sadladybug

It is not the memorial she deserves, nor the one she would want. But it can't be helped. He owns no property in the other nations, and he needed to keep her close. Closer than she was in life, anyway.

Zuko's reflections on a life lived and a life that could have been.

This is one of the best written fics I’ve ever read. It’s tragic and deep and will hurt you in all the tender places but you would be doing yourself a favour if you read this. There’s a real bittersweet feeling to it and the love between them is just… urg, visceral.

 Lovable by LadyCharity

Zuko knew that he could not save Azula. He could only try to forgive her. Fittingly enough, those two were one in the same.

I love stories that make Zutara their centerpiece but every now but then a story like this comes along. A story where their relationship builds almost incidentally because the plot and character development straight up hijack your emotions. I got so invested in this story. Zuko is amazingly well characterised and his complicated thoughts and feelings around his father and Azula are incredibly well written!

 One Shots

Lunar Ephemerality by @formerlygoldilocks (goldilocks23)

After multiple failed attempts on his life and years of self-set expectations, Fire Lord Zuko is a shell of the man he used to be. But Katara won't turn her back on those who need her.

I really didn’t expect this to hit as hard as it did. This straight up snuck up on me, fly-kicked my feelings, and by the end I had written an 800 word comment that was too big for AO3 and I had to contact the author directly to send it to her. Awkward. I couldn’t help myself. The side to Katara we see here is so good, her empathy and love for her friends are one of the things I love seeing most in AtLA fanfic. I’m a sucker for Zuko having complete breakdowns and having to piece himself back together too. So sue me. I like it when they suffer a lil bit. The writing is absurdly good and I will be keeping an eye out for any new stories by goldilocks23!

 31 Minutes by @ifyouwereamelodymeg

It's quite astounding, really, how quickly she's learned to translate him. They've spent a grand total of zero time together outside of training, and he's hardly big on chat so she knows next to nothing about his life.

But she knows him, probably better than she knows anyone at the moment – with every tap of his fingers, every crook of his lips, every turn in his voice, he just...

He makes sense to her. It's weird.

I’m a sucker for fic writers playing with style to make the story pop and boyo does this fic deliver. This is one of the rare times that I’ve been dumbstruck at the end of a story— I just couldn’t accept the ending. Because I’m a sucker for pain, (and this story will bring The Pain) I loved it. The ease of Zuko and Katara’s growing relationship in this bowls you over, it’s absolutely beautiful and you find yourself nodding along emphatically when Zuko calls himself an idiot for waiting… “Life’s short, kids, live each moment as though it could be your last,” says this fic as it pulls my heart out and dropkicks it off a cliff.

 i count to five (and life passes by) by @markedmage

Five heartbeats.

I still haven’t forgiven Mage for this one. I think it’s the best thing she’s written to date! I mean, tragic and painful and heart-rending but holy shit is it powerful <3

 The Lake of the Dismal Swamp by @thewhiitelotus

Spook af. Spook (horror) is real hard to do well but thewhiitelotus is coming for your goosebumps and those shivers down your spine. She has a way of balancing beautiful, evocative imagery with action (in this and other stories of her) that just keeps you reading!

 Calloused by @rideboldlyride

Iroh hadn’t been able to watch. The pure horror of a man - a father- burning their child for a slight infraction... He couldn’t do anything to stop it, but he will stop his brother from destroying entirely the kind boy he knew Zuko could be.

This is a painfully underappreciated fic for how great the characterisation is. I know we in the zutara fandom tend to not read stories that aren’t Zuko/Katara centric as often but do yourself the favour of reading this (or listening to it: RideBoldlyRide has done us the gift of recording a podfic for this and it’s stupidly *good*). This story is Iroh confronting Ozai just after he burns Zuko’s face and it kicks.

 four days and three nights by @hinaoyamas (lettersfromnowhere)

Zuko discovers firsthand that nothing is more fleeting than happiness, or more enduring than memory.

Do you like reading stories with a distant, omniscient narrator? The kind that read like a myth from the ancient world? Welp, hit the hyperlink, friend, cause this one’s for you. Not only is the writing exquisite but the characterisation and painful inevitability of the plot is grade A.

 For the Fire Nation by tullyblue12

He falls in love with her for his country before he falls in love with her for himself. A Zuko/Katara AU that explores how love and duty aren’t always mutually exclusive.

There are about 40,000 exquisite lines in this story but here is just one of my favourites: “He falls in love with her for his country first. That’s what his people never understand.” This fic says a lot with so few words, which is something I really look up to! In 2,800 words, tullyblue12 does what some 100,000k fics cant: They make you feel.

 Guide Me Home by Rashaka

To sleep, perchance to dream. Katara and Zuko find a friendship they never expected in a place that seemed impossible.

This is a one shot I will forever wish for a continuation of. The setup is just… so juicy. There’s a real sorrowful innocence to this story that the unique short, dialogue only scenes really punch home. I know some people don’t like dialogue only fics but when done well like in this one, it leaves you with the impression of something deeper than a 1,185 word fic has any right to! 

 Other Favourites!

Hopeless by tullyblue12 — Kids grow up fast when a cruel world awaits them. In times of hopelessness, Katara and Zuko grow together. In times of separation, they hope to see each other again.

Speechless by goldilocks23 — Zuko has a medical condition. Or: Zuko speaks in haiku at inappropriate times.

Don’t Follow Me Down by eleventy7 — Katara is the dread queen of the underworld, ruler of the dead, destined to reign her cold kingdom alone. Until a sun god catches her eye. A Hades/Persephone retelling with incredible writing.

I Don't Speak Meow Language by @botherkupo (Boogum) — In which Zuko adopts a cat and Katara just wonders what spirits she pissed off to deserve this fate.

I have the privilege of being friends with some of these authors (they know who they are) and am in near daily awe and gratitude for the works of free fiction they provide us, the fandom. And not just any old stories: Guys... Really good ones!! Can I ask that if you go check out these fics, can you just drop a kudos or a comment their way? If you’re feeling shy just copy and paste this into the comments box anonymously: “WOW! Loved this! Thank you so much for writing it!”

I know it would mean the world to this talented bunch <3

#ZFAW #Fic Rec #favourite zutara fanfics of all time #zutara #atla

[justforbooks]

The many lives of John le Carré, in his own words.

An exclusive extract from his new memoir, The Pigeon Tunnel.

How I write

If you’re ever lucky enough to score an early success as a writer, as happened to me with The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, for the rest of your life there’s a before-the-fall and an after-the-fall. You look back at the books you wrote before the searchlight picked you out and they read like the books of your innocence; and the books after it, in your low moments, like the strivings of a man on trial. ‘Trying too hard’ the critics cry. I never thought I was trying too hard. I reckoned I owed it to my success to get the best out of myself, and by and large, however good or bad the best was, that was what I did.

And I love writing. I love doing what I’m doing at this moment, scribbling away like a man in hiding at a poky desk on a black clouded early morning in May, with the mountain rain scuttling down the window and no excuse for tramping down to the railway station under an umbrella because the International New York Times doesn’t arrive until lunchtime.

I love writing on the hoof, in notebooks on walks, in trains and cafés, then scurrying home to pick over my booty. When I am in Hampstead there is a bench I favour on the Heath, tucked under a spreading tree and set apart from its companions, and that’s where I like to scribble. I have only ever written by hand. Arrogantly perhaps, I prefer to remain with the centuries-old tradition of unmechanized writing. The lapsed graphic artist in me actually enjoys drawing the words.

I love best the privacy of writing. On research trips, I am partially protected by having a different name in real life. I can sign into hotels without anxiously wondering whether my name will be recognised, then, when it isn’t, anxiously wondering why not. When I’m obliged to come clean with the people whose experience I want to tap, results vary. One person refuses to trust me another inch, the next promotes me to chief of the secret service and, over my protestations that I was only ever the lowest form of secret life, replies that I would say that, wouldn’t I? There are many things I am disinclined to write about ever, just as there are in anyone’s life. I have been neither a model husband nor a model father, and am not interested in appearing that way. Love came to me late, after many missteps. I owe my ethical education to my four sons. Of my work for British intelligence, performed mostly in Germany, I wish to add nothing to what is already reported by others, inaccurately, elsewhere. In this I am bound by vestiges of old-fashioned loyalty to my former services, but also by undertakings I gave to the men and women who agreed to collaborate with me. It was understood between us that the promise of confidentiality would be subject to no time limit, but extend to their children and beyond. The work we engaged in was neither perilous nor dramatic, but it involved painful soul-searching on the part of those who signed up to it. Whether today these people are alive or dead, the promise of confidentiality holds.

Spying was forced on me from birth much in the way, I suppose, that the sea was forced on CS Forester or India on Paul Scott. Out of the secret world I once knew, I have tried to make a theatre for the larger worlds we inhabit. First comes the imagining, then the search for the reality. Then back to the imagining, and to the desk where I’m sitting now.

My Father: conman and inspiration

It took me a long while to get on writing terms with Ronnie, conman, fantasist, occasional jailbird, and my father. From the day I made my first faltering attempts at a novel, he was the one I wanted to get to grips with, but I was light years away from being up to the job. My earliest drafts of what eventually became A Perfect Spy dripped with self-pity: cast your eye, gentle reader, upon this emotionally crippled boy, crushed underfoot by his tyrannical father. It was only when he was safely dead and I took up the novel again that I did what I should have done at the beginning, and made the sins of the son a whole lot more reprehensible than the sins of the father.

With that settled, I was able to honour the legacy of his tempestuous life: a cast of characters to make the most blasé writer’s mouth water, from eminent legal brains of the day and stars of sport and screen to the finest of London’s criminal underworld and the beautiful creatures who trailed in their wake. Wherever Ronnie went, the unpredictable went with him. Are we up or down? Can we fill up the car on tick at the local garage? Has he fled the country or will he be proudly parking the Bentley in the drive tonight? Or is he enjoying the safety and comfort of one of his alternative wives?

Of Ronnie’s dealings with organised crime, if any, I know lamentably little. Yes, he rubbed shoulders with the notorious Kray twins, but that may just have been celebrity-hunting. And yes, he did business of a sort with London’s worst-ever landlord, Peter Rachman, and my best guess would be that when Rachman’s thugs had got rid of Ronnie’s tenants for him, he sold off the houses and gave Rachman a piece. But a full‑on criminal partnership? Not the Ronnie I knew. Conmen are aesthetes. They wear nice suits, have clean fingernails and are well spoken at all times. Policemen in Ronnie’s book were first-rate fellows who were open to negotiation. The same could not be said of “the boys”, as he called them, and you messed with the boys at your peril.

Ronnie’s entire life was spent walking on the thinnest, slipperiest layer of ice you can imagine. He saw no paradox between being on the wanted list for fraud and sporting a grey topper in the owners’ enclosure at Ascot. A reception at Claridge’s to celebrate his second marriage was interrupted while he persuaded two Scotland Yard detectives to put off arresting him until the party was over – and, meanwhile, come in and join the fun, which they duly did.  But I don’t think Ronnie could have lived any other way. I don’t think he wanted to. He was a crisis addict, a performance addict, a shameless pulpit orator and a scene-grabber. He was a delusional enchanter and a persuader who saw himself as God’s golden boy, and he wrecked a lot of people’s lives.

Graham Greene tells us that childhood is the credit balance of the writer. By that measure at least, I was born a millionaire.

Sixty-something years back, I asked my mother, Olive, how prison changed Ronnie. Olive was a tap you couldn’t turn off. From the moment of our reunion at Ipswich railway station, she talked about Ronnie nonstop. She talked about his sexuality long before I had sorted out mine, and for ease of reference gave me a tattered hardback copy of Krafft-Ebing’s Psychopathia Sexualis as a map to guide me through her husband’s appetites before and after jail.

“Changed, dear? In prison? Not a bit of it! You were totally unchanged. You’d lost weight, of course – well, you would. Prison food isn’t meant to be nice.” And then the image that will never leave me, not least because she seemed unaware of what she was saying: “And you did have this silly habit of stopping in front of doors and waiting at attention with your head down till I opened them for you. They were perfectly ordinary doors, not locked or anything, but you obviously weren’t expecting to be able to open them for yourself.” Why did Olive refer to Ronnie as you? You meaning he, but subconsciously recruiting me to be his surrogate, which by the time of her death was what I had become.

There is an audiotape that Olive made for my brother Tony, all about her life with Ronnie. I still can’t bear to play it, so all I’ve ever heard is scraps. On the tape she describes how Ronnie used to beat her up, which, according to Olive, was what prompted her to bolt. Ronnie’s violence was not news to me, because he had made a habit of beating up his second wife as well: so often and so purposefully and coming home at such odd hours of the night to do it that, seized by a chivalrous impulse, I appointed myself her ridiculous protector, sleeping on a mattress in front of her bedroom door and clutching a golf iron so that Ronnie would have to reckon with me before he got at her.

Ronnie beat me up, too, but only a few times and not with much conviction. It was the shaping up that was the scary part: the lowering and readying of the shoulders, the resetting of the jaw. And when I was grown up, Ronnie tried to sue me, which I suppose is violence in disguise. He had watched a television documentary of my life and decided there was an implicit slander in my failure to mention that I owed everything to him.

For the last third of Ronnie’s life – he died suddenly at the age of 69 – we were estranged or at loggerheads. Almost by mutual consent, there were terrible obligatory scenes, and when we buried the hatchet, we always remembered where we’d put it. Do I feel more kindly towards him today than I did then? Sometimes I walk round him, sometimes he’s the mountain I still have to climb. Either way, he’s always there, which I can’t say for my mother, because to this day I have no idea what sort of person she was. I ran her to earth when I was 21, and thereafter broadly attended to her needs, not always with good grace. But from the day of our reunion until she died, the frozen child in me showed not the smallest sign of thawing out. Did she love animals? Landscape? The sea that she lived beside? Music? Painting? Me? Did she read books? Certainly she had no high opinion of mine, but what about other people’s?

In the nursing home where she stayed during her last years, we spent much of our time deploring or laughing at my father’s misdeeds. As my visits continued, I came to realise that she had created for herself – and for me – an idyllic mother–son relationship that had flowed uninterrupted from my birth till now.

Today, I don’t remember feeling any affection in childhood except for my elder brother, who for a time was my only parent. I remember a constant tension in myself that even in great age has not relaxed. I remember little of being very young. I remember the dissembling as we grew up, and the need to cobble together an identity for myself and how, in order to do this, I filched from the manners and lifestyle of my peers and betters, even to the extent of pretending I had a settled home life with real parents and ponies. Listening to myself today, watching myself when I have to, I can still detect traces of the lost originals, chief among them obviously my father.

All this no doubt made me an ideal recruit to the secret flag. But nothing lasted: not the Eton schoolmaster, not the MI5 man, not the MI6 man. Only the writer in me stuck the course. If I look over my life from here, I see it as a succession of engagements and escapes, and I thank goodness that the writing kept me relatively straight and largely sane. My father’s refusal to accept the simplest truth about himself set me on a path of enquiry from which I never returned. In the absence of a mother or sisters, I learned women late, if ever, and we all paid a price for that.

A trip to Panama

In 1885, France’s gargantuan efforts to build a sea-level canal across the Darien ended in disaster. Small and large investors of every stamp were ruined. In consequence there arose across the country the pained cry of “Quel Panama!” Whether the expression has endured in the French language is doubtful, but it speaks well for my own association with that beautiful country, which began in 1947 when my father, Ronnie, dispatched me to Paris to collect £500 from the Panamanian ambassador to France, one Count Mario da Bernaschina, who occupied a sweet house in one of those elegant side roads off the Elysées that smell permanently of women’s scent.

It was evening when I arrived by appointment on the ambassadorial doorstep wearing my grey school suit, my hair brushed and parted. I was 16 years old. The ambassador, my father had advised me, was a first-class fellow and would be happy to settle a longstanding debt of honour. I wanted very much to believe him.

The front door to the elegant house was opened by the most desirable woman I had ever seen. I must have been standing one step beneath her, because in my memory she is smiling down on me like my angel redeemer. She was bare-shouldered, black-haired and wore a flimsy dress in layer after layer of chiffon that failed to disguise her shape. When you are 16, desirable women come in all ages. From today’s vantage point, I would put her at a blossoming thirtysomething.

“You are Ronnie’s son?” she asked incredulously. She stood back to let me brush past her. Laying a hand on each of my shoulders, she scrutinised me playfully from head to toe under the hall light and seemed to find everything to her satisfaction.

“And you have come to see Mario?” she said.

If that’s all right, I said.

Her hands remained on my shoulders while her eyes of many colours continued to study me. “And you are still a boy,” she remarked, as a kind of memo to herself.

The count stood in his drawing room with his back to the fireplace, like every ambassador in every movie of the time: corpulent, in a velvet jacket, hands behind him and that perfect head of greying hair they all had – marcelled, we used to call it – and the curved handshake, man to man, although I’m still a boy. The countess – for so I have cast her – doesn’t ask me whether I drink alcohol, let alone whether I like daiquiri. My answer to both questions would anyway have been a truthless “yes”. She hands me a frosted glass with a speared cherry in it, and we all sit down in soft chairs and do a bit of ambassadorial small talk. Am I enjoying the city? Do I have many friends in Paris? A girlfriend, perhaps? Mischievous wink. To which I no doubt give compelling and mendacious answers that make no mention of golf clubs or concierges, until a pause in the conversation tells me it’s time for me to broach the purpose of my visit which, as experience has already taught me, is best done from the side rather than head on.

“And my father mentioned that you and he had a small matter of business to complete, sir,” I suggest, hearing myself from a distance on account of the daiquiri.

I should here explain the nature of that small matter of business which, unlike so many of Ronnie’s deals, was simplicity itself. As a diplomat and a top ambassador, son – I am echoing the enthusiasm with which Ronnie had briefed me for my mission – the count was immune from such tedious irritations as taxation and import duty. The count could import what he wished, he could export what he wished. If someone, for instance, chose to send the count a cask of unmatured, unbranded Scotch whisky at a couple of pence a pint under diplomatic immunity, and the count were to bottle that whisky and ship it to Panama, or wherever else he chose to ship it under diplomatic immunity, that was nobody’s business but his.

Equally, if the count chose to export the said unmatured, unbranded whisky in bottles of a certain design – akin, let us imagine, to Dimple Haig, a popular brand of the day – that, too, was his good right, as was the choice of label and the description of the bottle’s contents. All that need concern me was that the count should pay up – cash, son, no monkey business. Thus provided, I should treat myself to a nice mixed grill at Ronnie’s expense, keep the receipt, catch the first ferry next morning and come straight to his grand offices in the West End of London with the balance.

“A matter of business, David?” the count repeated in the tone of my school housemaster. “What business can that be?”

“The £500 you owe him, sir.”

I remember his puzzled smile, so forbearing. I remember the richly draped sofas and silky cushions, old mirrors and gold glint, and my countess with her long legs crossed inside the layers of chiffon. The count continued to survey me with a mixture of puzzlement and concern. So did my countess. Then they surveyed each other as if to compare notes about what they’d surveyed.

“Well, that’s a pity, David. Because when I heard you were coming to see me, I rather hoped you might be bringing me a portion of the large sum of money I have invested in your dear father’s enterprises.”

I still don’t know how I responded to this startling reply, or whether I was as startled as I should have been. I remember briefly losing my sense of time and place, and I suppose this was partly induced by the daiquiri, and partly by the recognition that I had nothing to say and no right to be sitting in their drawing room, and that the best thing I could do was make my excuses and get out. Then I realised that I was alone in the room. After a while, my host and hostess returned.

The count’s smile was genial and relaxed. The countess looked particularly pleased. “So, David,” said the count, as if all were forgiven. “Why don’t we go and have dinner and talk about something more pleasant?”

They had a favourite Russian restaurant 50 yards from the house. In my memory, it is a tiny place and we are the only three people in it, save for a man in a baggy white shirt who plucked at a balalaika. Over dinner, while the count talked about something more pleasant, the countess kicked off a shoe and caressed my leg with her stockinged toe. On the tiny dance floor she sang Dark Eyes to me, holding the length of me against her and nibbling my earlobe while she flirted with the balalaika man and the count looked indulgently on. On our return to the table, the count decided that we were ready for bed. The countess, by a squeeze of my hand, seconded the motion.

My memory has spared me the excuses I made, but somehow I made them. Somehow I found myself a bench in a park, and somehow I contrived to remain the boy she had declared me to be. Decades later, finding myself alone in Paris, I tried to seek out the very street, the house, the restaurant. But by then no reality would have done them justice.

Now I am not pretending that it was the magnetic force of the count and countess that half a century later drew me to Panama for the space of two novels and one movie; merely that the recollection of that sensuous, unfulfilled night remained lodged in my memory, if only as one of the near-misses of interminable adolescence. Within days of my arrival in Panama City, I was enquiring after the name. Bernaschina? Nobody had heard of the fellow. A count? From Panama? It seemed most improbable. Maybe I had dreamed the whole thing? I hadn’t.

I had come to Panama to research a novel. Unusually, it already had a title: The Night Manager. I was looking for the sort of crooks, smooth talkers and dirty deals that would brighten the life of an amoral English arms seller named Richard Onslow Roper. Roper would be a high-flyer where my father, Ronnie, had been a low one who frequently crashed. Ronnie had tried selling arms in Indonesia and gone to jail for it. Roper was too big to fail, until he met his destiny in the shape of a former special forces soldier turned hotel night manager named Jonathan Pine.

Working with Sir Alec Guinness

“We are definitely not as our host here describes us,” says Sir Maurice Oldfield severely to Sir Alec Guinness over lunch. Oldfield is a former chief of the secret service who was later hung out to dry by Margaret Thatcher, but at the time of our meeting, he is just another old spy in retirement. “I’ve always wanted to meet Sir Alec,” he told me in his homey, north country voice when I invited him. “Ever since I sat opposite him on the train going up from Winchester. I’d have got into conversation with him if I’d had the nerve.”

Guinness is about to play my secret agent George Smiley in the BBC’s television adaptation of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, and wishes to savour the company of a real old spy. But the lunch does not proceed as smoothly as I had hoped. Over the hors d’oeuvres, Oldfield extols the ethical standards of his old service and implies, in the nicest way, that “young David here” has besmirched its good name.

Guinness, a former naval officer, who from the moment of meeting Oldfield has appointed himself to the upper echelons of the secret service, can only shake his head sagely and agree. Over the Dover sole, Oldfield takes his thesis a step further: “It’s young David and his like,” he declares across the table to Guinness while ignoring me sitting beside him, “that make it that much harder for the service to recruit decent officers and sources. They read his books and they’re put off. It’s only natural.” To which Guinness lowers his eyelids and shakes his head in a deploring sort of way, while I pay the bill.

“You should join the Athenaeum, David,” Oldfield says kindly, implying that the Athenaeum will somehow make a better person of me. “I’ll sponsor you myself. There. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” And to Guinness, as the three of us stand on the threshold of the restaurant: “A pleasure indeed, Alec. An honour, I must say. We shall be in touch very shortly, I’m sure.”

“We shall indeed,” Guinness replies devoutly, as the two old spies shake hands.

Unable apparently to get enough of our departing guest, Guinness gazes fondly after him as he pounds off down the pavement: a small, vigorous gentleman of purpose, striding along with his umbrella thrust ahead of him as he disappears into the crowd. “How about another cognac for the road?” Guinness suggests, and we have hardly resumed our places before the interrogation begins: “Those very vulgar cufflinks. Do all our spies wear them?” No, Alec, I think Maurice just likes vulgar cufflinks.

“And those loud orange suede boots with crepe soles. Are they for stealth?” I think they’re just for comfort actually, Alec. Crepe squeaks. “Then tell me this.” He has grabbed an empty tumbler. Tipping it to an angle, he flicks at it with his thick fingertip. “I’ve seen people do this before” – making a show of peering meditatively into the tumbler while he continues to flick it – “and I’ve seen people do this” – now rotating the finger round the rim in the same contemplative vein.

“But I’ve never seen people do this before” – inserting his finger into the tumbler and passing it round the inside. “Do you think he’s looking for dregs of poison?”

Is he being serious? The child in Guinness has never been more serious in its life. Well, I suppose if it was dregs he was looking for, he’d have drunk the poison by then, I suggest. But he prefers to ignore me.

It is a matter of entertainment history that Oldfield’s suede boots, crepe-soled or other, and his rolled umbrella thrust forward to feel out the path ahead, became essential properties for Guinness’s portrayal of George Smiley, old spy in a hurry. I haven’t checked on the cufflinks recently, but I have a memory that our director thought them a little overdone and persuaded Guinness to trade them in for something less flashy.

The other legacy of our lunch was less enjoyable, if artistically more creative. Oldfield’s distaste for my work – and, I suspect, for myself – struck deep root in Guinness’s thespian soul, and he was not above reminding me of it when he felt the need to rack up George Smiley’s sense of personal guilt; or, as he liked to imply, mine.

Lunch with Rupert Murdoch

One morning in the autumn of 1991, I opened my Times newspaper to be greeted by my own face glowering up at me. From my sour expression, I could tell at once that the text around it wasn’t going to be friendly. A struggling Warsaw theatre, I read, was celebrating its post-communist freedom by putting on a stage version of The Spy Who Came In From The Cold. But the rapacious le Carré [see photograph] wanted a whacking £150 per performance: “The price of freedom, we suppose.”

I took another look at the photograph and saw exactly the sort of fellow who does indeed go round preying on struggling Polish theatres. Grasping. Unsavoury appetites. Just look at those eyebrows. I had by now ceased to enjoy my breakfast. Keep calm and call your agent. I fail on the first count, succeed on the second. My literary agent’s name is Rainer. In what the novelists call a quavering voice, I read the article aloud to him. Has he, I suggest delicately – might he possibly, just this once, is it at all conceivable? – on this occasion been a tad too zealous on my behalf? Rainer is emphatic. Quite the reverse. Since the Poles are still in the recovery ward after the collapse of communism, he has been a total pussycat. We are not charging the theatre £150 per performance, he assures me, but a measly £26, the minimum standard rate. In addition to which, we’ve thrown in the rights for free. In short, a sweetheart deal, David, a deliberate helping hand to a Polish theatre in time of need. Great, I say, bewildered and inwardly seething.

Keep calm and fax the editor of the Times. His response is lofty. Not to put too fine an edge on it, it is infuriating. He sees no great harm in the piece, he says. He suggests that a man in my fortunate position should take the rough with the smooth. This is not advice I am prepared to accept. But who to turn to?

Why, of course: the man who owns the newspaper, Rupert Murdoch, my old buddy!

Well, not exactly buddy. I had met Murdoch socially on a couple of occasions, though I doubted whether he remembered them. I have three conditions, I say: number one, a generous apology prominently printed in the Times; number two, a handsome donation to the struggling Polish theatre. And number three, lunch. Next morning his reply was lying on the floor beneath my fax machine: “Your terms accepted. Rupert.”

The Savoy Grill in those days had a kind of upper level for moguls: red-plush, horseshoe-shaped affairs where in more colourful days gentlemen of money might have entertained their ladies. I breathe the name Murdoch to the maître d’hôtel and am shown to one of the privés. I am early. Murdoch is bang on time. He is smaller than I remember him, but more pugnacious, and has acquired that hasty waddle and little buck of the pelvis with which great men of affairs advance on one another, hand outstretched, for the cameras. The slant of the head in relation to the body is more pronounced than I remember, and when he wrinkles up his eyes to give me his sunny smile, I have the odd feeling he’s taking aim at me. We sit down, we face each other. I notice – how can I not? – the unsettling collection of rings on his left hand. We order our food and exchange a couple of banalities. Rupert says he’s sorry about that stuff they wrote about me. Brits, he says, are great penmen, but they don’t always get things right. I say, not at all, and thanks for your sporting response. But enough of small talk. He is staring straight at me and the sunny smile has vanished.

“Who killed Bob Maxwell?” he demands.

Robert Maxwell, for those lucky enough not to remember him, was a Czech-born media baron, British parliamentarian and the alleged spy of several nations, including Israel, the Soviet Union and Britain. As a young Czech freedom fighter, he had taken part in the Normandy landings and later earned himself a British army commission and a gallantry medal. After the war, he worked for the Foreign Office in Berlin. He was also a flamboyant liar and rogue of gargantuan proportions and appetites who plundered the pension fund of his own companies to the tune of £440m, owed around £4bn that he had no way of repaying and in November 1991 was found dead in the seas off Tenerife, having apparently fallen from the deck of a lavish private yacht named after his daughter. Conspiracy theories abounded. To some, it was a clear case of suicide by a man ensnared by his own crimes; to others, murder by one of the several intelligence agencies he had supposedly worked for. But which one? Why Murdoch should imagine I know the  answer to this question is beyond me, but I do my best to give satisfaction. Well, Rupert, if we’re really saying it’s not suicide, then probably, for my money, it was the Israelis, I suggest.

“Why?”

I’ve read the rumours that are flying around, as we all have. I regurgitate them: Maxwell, the long-term agent of Israeli intelligence, blackmailing his former paymasters; Maxwell, who had traded with the Shining Path in Peru, offering Israeli weapons in exchange for strategic cobalt; Maxwell, threatening to go public unless the Israelis paid up. But Rupert Murdoch is already on his feet, shaking my hand and saying it was great to meet me again. And maybe he’s as embarrassed as I am, or just bored, because already he’s powering his way out of the room, and great men don’t sign bills, they leave them to their people. Estimated duration of lunch: 25 minutes.

A meeting with Margaret Thatcher

The prime minister’s office wished to recommend me for a medal, and I had declined. I had not voted for her, but that fact had nothing to do with my decision. I felt, as I feel today, that I was not cut out for our honours system, that it represents much of what I most dislike about our country. In my letter of reply, I took care to assure the prime minister’s office that my churlishness did not spring from any personal or political animosity, offered my thanks and compliments to the prime minister, and assumed I would hear no more.

I was wrong. In a second letter, her office struck a more intimate note. Lest I was regretting a decision taken in heat, the writer wished me to know that the door to an honour was still open. I replied, equally courteously I hope, that as far as I was concerned the door was firmly shut, and would remain so in any similar contingency. Again, my thanks. Again, my compliments to the prime minister. And again I assumed the matter was closed, until a third letter arrived, inviting me to lunch. There were six tables set in the dining room of 10 Downing Street that day, but I only remember ours, which had Mrs Thatcher at its head and the Dutch prime minister Ruud Lubbers on her  right, and myself in a tight new grey suit on her left. The year must have been 1982. I was just back from the Middle East, Lubbers had just been appointed. Our other three guests remain a pink blob to me. I assumed, for reasons that today escape me, that they were industrialists from the north. Neither do I remember any opening exchanges between the six of us, but perhaps they had happened over cocktails before we sat down. But I do remember Mrs Thatcher turning to the Dutch prime minister and acquainting him with my distinction. “Now, Mr Lubbers,” she announced in a tone to prepare him for a nice surprise, “this is Mr Cornwell, but you will know him better as the writer John le Carré.”

Leaning forward, Mr Lubbers took a close look at me. He had a youthful face, almost a playful one. He smiled, I smiled: really friendly smiles. “No,” he said. And sat back in his chair, still smiling. But Mrs Thatcher, it is well known, did not lightly take no for an answer.

“Oh, come, Mr Lubbers. You’ve heard of John le Carré. He wrote The Spy Who Came In From The Cold and…” – fumbling slightly – “… other wonderful books.”

Lubbers, nothing if not a politician, reconsidered his position. Again he leaned forward and took another, longer look at me, as amiable as the first, but more considered, more statesmanlike.

“No,” he repeated.

Now it was Mrs Thatcher’s turn to take a long look at me, and I underwent something of what her all-male cabinet must have experienced when they, too, incurred her displeasure. “Well, Mr Cornwell,” she said, as to an errant schoolboy who had been brought to account, “since you’re here” – implying that I had somehow talked my way in – “have  you anything you wish to say to me?”

Belatedly, it occurred to me that I had indeed something to say to her, if badly. Having recently returned from South Lebanon, I felt obliged to plead the cause of stateless Palestinians. Lubbers listened. The gentlemen from the industrial north listened. But Mrs Thatcher listened more attentively than all of them, and with no sign of the impatience of which she was frequently accused. Even when I had stumbled to the end of my aria, she went on listening before delivering herself of her response. “Don’t give me sob stories,” she ordered me with sudden vehemence, striking the key words for emphasis. “Every day people appeal to my emotions. You can’t govern that way. It simply isn’t fair.”

Whereupon, appealing to my emotions, she reminded me that it was the Palestinians who had trained the IRA bombers who had murdered her friend Airey Neave, the British war hero and politician, and her close adviser. After that, I don’t believe we spoke to each other much. Occasionally I do ask myself whether Mrs Thatcher nevertheless had an ulterior motive in inviting me. Was she, for instance, sizing me up for one of her quangos – those strange quasi-official public bodies that have authority but no power, or is it the other way round? But I found it hard to imagine what possible use she could have for me – unless, of course, she wanted guidance from the horse’s mouth on how to sort out her squabbling spies.

• This is an edited extract from The Pigeon Tunnel: Stories From My Life, by John le Carré, published next week by Viking at £20. Order a copy for £15 from the Guardian bookshop.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

#JUST FOR BOOKS #John le Carré #The Pigeon Tunnel: Stories From My Life

[aeroargonic]

My thoughts on Lore Olympus

Trigger warning: mentions of sexual assault and pedophilia.

I've kinda been getting into the Webtoon scene recently. Out of all the comics that I'm keeping up with, I find Lore Olympus probably gets the most attention here on Tumblr. Obviously, I can see why it appeals to a lot of people; combining Greek mythology, a very popular Greek myth at that, with a modern twist and some really beautiful art. I am not gonna claim to be an expert on Greek mythology because my own knowledge on it is spotty at best lol.

As much as I want to enjoy Lore Olympus, there's a couple of things in the story that jump out at me and are really hard to ignore. This is where we get into the trigger warnings so I'll put this under a cut just in case.

BTW, please keep in mind this might be a one-off thing. I am not turning my blog into a Lore Olympus blog.

The biggest issue is obviously the age gap between Hades and Persephone. I have no problem with them having a big age gap, but she's barely an adult. Even Hades calls her a teenager at points. There's also the fact that she's an intern at his company...where he's the boss. So far, we've seen very little of her actually doing the work she'd be assigned as an intern and Persephone herself even notes that she may not be entirely qualified to do all the work. There's the age gap, then there's the power gap. There's just too much opportunity for Hades to take advantage of a vulnerable Persephone for their relationship to be as healthy as the writers want it to look. For a comic that seems to pride itself on its progressiveness with body types and healthy relationships...

Yeah. Persephone is severely sexualized. Now let me say that there is nothing wrong with her body type at all; everyone matures and grows differently. What I do have a problem with is that a lot of her clothing either just barely covers her butt, or leaves a decent amount of her cleavage exposed. While she is a grown adult and can dress herself however she pleases, please refer to my earlier point where Hades calls her a teenager. A lot about Persephone's appearance and personality seems to suggest a childish sense of immaturity. Legally and physically, she may be an adult. But she looks and acts so much like a teenage girl that she might as well be one.

Then there's what happened to her and Apollo. Personally, I think the writing sexual assault the way it was written in the comic is a sign of lazy writing. By the time it happens, Apollo has been established as having no redeemable qualities whatsoever, and the seriousness of the scene is constantly danced around, as if the sexual assault was only intended to exist for shock value and nobody is too interested in exploring the repercussions and trauma that come from this. There seems to be a reoccurring theme where any male god or character in the story shows a certain amount of interest in Persephone. Obviously, Hades and Persephone are the endgame and Apollo believes that he's somehow entitled to have her. Ares makes out with her, Hermes seems to have a crush on her, and even Thanatos can't bring himself to hate her.

Speaking of Thanatos and those who are against Persephone, I wish we could go a bit deeper as to why Minthe and Thetis feel the need to ruin Persephone's relationship with Hades. Having it just be jealousy is pretty shallow and kinda reduces Minthe and Thetis as characters. So much of both their personalities revolve around being in relationships with their bosses. Again, somewhat lazy writing to me. Minthe had potential to drop Thetis and change for the better, but she just went straight back to Thetis the second the opportunity to get dirt on Persephone came up, which ruined the point of a couple of chapters beforehand for me.

Many of the female characters in this story, I find, seem to get shafted in terms of development. If they're not entirely on Persephone's side, like Hera, they get a negative portrayal of sorts. Minthe and Thetis are jealous bitches, Hestia is a hypocrite, Demeter is controlling, and Artemis is a meathead who is completely oblivious to Persephone's plights. Even those who are on Persephone's side, such as Daphne, are noticeably lacking in the characterization department. But for a lot of these characters, both male and female, a good chunk of their development revolves around Persephone. Granted, she is the main character is a wanted fugitive, but I do think this amount of obsessions is silly and takes up too much personality from a lot of characters.

Am I calling Persephone a Mary Sue? Well, not quite. But she's this sweet and innocent and pure little bean with a bite when she needs it. Obviously, whenever she's mean or snarky or turns someone into a plant, there's always a justification for it. Basically, rarely is anything actually Persephone's fault. She doesn't seem to take a lot of responsibility for her actions and while it might not be in Hades's character to get seriously mad with her for the plant thing, he had no problem yelling at her earlier for a less serious deed. Persephone's anger is a mess storywise. We're supposed to believe that she has limited control over her powers and her act of wrath was an accident (because, as I've established, she's supposed to be this pure and innocent woobie), but she was well aware of her actions and intentions when she turned Minthe into a plant.

I realize that I've been saying quite a lot of criticisms against Lore Olympus, so I'll throw some positive things that I do like about the story. I like the concept of Olympus being much more modern than the mortal realm. It's been hinted at that some nymphs are treated worse than others, and I hope we get an opportunity to explore that further. I genuinely was excited when Minthe snapped back at Thetis to see Minthe get redemption of sorts and learn to change her ways for good. Alas, that potential plot appears to be thrown out the window. Also, I love Eros and Athena. They've got to be some of my favourite characters.

So, here's all my ramblings and rantings about Lore Olmypus. Not to call myself a stan or anti or anything, because I believe you can still enjoy or participate in content while keeping a critical eye on it; the way I see it, you should never blindly follow or hate upon a work. Nothing is perfect and Lore Olypmus is not perfect. There's a lot that could be improved and added or retconned. It clearly isn't going to follow the original myth entirely and I don't feel well-educated or familiar enough with the original myth to talk about how faithful Lore Olympus is. Same with the art. I think the art looks lovely, although there are some obvious oversights with colouring and body proportions. I'm certain someone else can sum that up better than I can.

But hey, if all else fails, Punderworld exists. And that's a really good comic too.

So for now, I'll just follow this work and see what happens next.

#lore olympus #lore olympus persephone #lore olympus hades #lo critical

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

bittersweet netflix shadow and bone finale (s1 e8) rewatch; accoutrement: white wine with ice cubes in it (no YOU'RE a mom drink shh)

my wine's like fruity I love her

light and darkness title card we love to see it

Inej looking at Alina before she goes below deck to hide <3

okay that 'what can you really do on your own' was like not fun that shit hurted

okay but Jesper's 'not enough'? <3

oh no my baby Zoya's first inkling that Darkles does not really care

omg Helnik just appeared and I remembered how much heartbreak I have to face in this episode

gods I love Danielle as Nina so so much

'this can't be it' said she with her pleading smile with downturned eyebrows MA'AM I-

don't break my dumb little heart

I might hate Calahan's little accent but they're making me tear up

oh gods I literally cannot keep a hold on myself when Dani's accent bleeds through with full force, it's like she comes more alive or smth

'I will keep you warm' SIR WHAT-

I am surprised they showed a leaning in for a kiss so soon but I'm not mad about it

her little eyebrow twitch at 'what are waffles'

when that rando said 'i hunt slavers now' a dread settled into me because I knew what was about to go down

Matthias looking somberly at the stuffed wolf's head </3

I am so incredibly entranced by this exchange between Fedyor and Nina and what it represents, it's very interesting that they pushed up their storyline to match with the timeline

damn it's kind of jarring to be back in the Fold

'REMEMBER WHO'S DRIVING'??!!!! *you better stop* meme, *i am, disgusted* meme, *oh wow, oh wow* meme

Mal you fucking idiot you could never take the crows by surprise

the music rising as Kaz starts explaining his thought process, fucking perfection

haha Mal bitchass Inej caught you

'Because if he isn't with Kirigan's crew, he's with ours' WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED

'And why would we destroy the Fold? It's the greatest weapon we've got' valid point at the moment but you know I don't necessarily agree with your methods

the use of the light tunnel in the show instead of Alina just being a super flashlight in the books is quite an interesting addition as well

is this an inappropriate time to point out how pretty Ben Barnes is

okay I kind of love the depiction of the shadow powers okay sue me

'they are traitors who tried to kill you' why are you suddenly making valid points despite having kind of committed low scale genocide

'i never said I was smart' YES MAL BE THE VOICE OF HIMBOS EVERYWHERE

Kaz's face going from 'can you believe this idiot' at Mal to 'fuck me I'm gonna do the same thing aren't I' at Inej

'For who would oppose us now?' *himbo romantic rival appears out of nowhere and shoots at him* god I love this show

him standing calmly in his ridiculous all black attire after nodding at his soldier to stop the himbo in his tracks, i fucking can't

could she summon light without the Darkling making her after he put the collar on her until the uhm moment in the books? idts but in the show she can hmm

'only because I'm not in the game' you tell him Jesper

not me snickering at 'you'll be seen not as a saviour, but as a heretic' LMFAO

'Shame. I'll have to give that speech again now.' THIS SHOW IS A FUCKING COMEDY AND YOU CAN'T PROVE ME WRONG

YES LET'S FUCKING GO SULI SOLIDARITY

Darkles casually whipping the Cut out like a shuriken or a throwing knife at Jesper because he shot at him lmao I can't

INEJ FUCKING GHAFA STABBED ONE THE OLDEST AND MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN THAT WORLD AND THAT IS VERY TELLING OF HER POWER

that moment where you actually think that affected him despite having read the books and watched the show

and then he has to go and fucking say 'it will take more than this' and I can't be help but be a little bit impressed at this old fool's resilience

throwback to when he said 'the king is a child' sir you make some valid points sometimes and it does make it difficult to hate you

I would just like to inform everyone that it is currently 6:09 am IST and I am sipping my second mug of wine while watching netflix sab for the second time instead of doing my three papers that are due tomorrow

I'm sorry but Inej jumping to check on Zoya after she gets knocked over by the volcra? first class display of solidarity and sisterhood as well as Inej's inherent kindness

Kaz jumping in front of a FUCKING VOLCRA AND STABBING IT WITH HIS CANE to save Inej, you best believe love is true, kids

god the volcra are so ugly and gross, they did such a good job with them

they kind of remind me of these creatures (I think they might have been called Hollows or smth) from the Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children movie

STAG VISION TIME

despite my dislike for the callous nature with which the stag plotline was handled, I kind of dig the stag vision scene

'It's just me and you now, Alina. And we're all we need, anyway.' I actually feel bad for this old fool simping for this wonderful gorgeous powerful woman despite lying to her and manipulating her and exploiting her power

okay 'I never needed you' *stabs the bone fragment out of his hand* beautiful power move I fucking love you so so much

alright ben looking like ✨ that✨ not only in physical pain but also emotional pain at what the Darkling clearly considers another betrayal from this girl he wants to give the world and maybe? loves? maybe? or at least has feelings for makes my fucking heart hurt while simultaneously soar at Alina taking back control and reclaiming her power as her own and stepping into her own

'how do you claim such power' okay could have had better dialogue there writers

the fucking score lifting as she says 'you cannot claim what was not given to you' good people my heart is full

one day I'll talk about my defense of the chosen one trope because god damn I kind of love it

hmm I wonder was that brief hesitation that we saw on Alina's face due to her thinking about the 'you chose to betray our people' comment or the 'i was trying to save us' comment because that will define some of her actions in the later seasons (hopefully god if we get some, I honestly don't know what with this stupid brownface debacle)

I'm not saying talking about brownface and pointing out that it is wrong (for further context, I am actually brown) and harmful is stupid btw I'm talking about the incidents involving brownface in question

I don't wanna talk about this anymore but I might feel like I need to and end up posting about it idk

goodness Ivan actually believing in this cause makes me so sad because he too has been victimized by the system that ostracizes Grisha and he has every right to feel the way that he does

Ben actually fighting in that ridiculously heavy cloak and kefta when he's about to turn 40 this year makes me super impressed because I as a 19 year old sometimes wake up with muscle pulls after weeks of inactivity it's weird idk

also I understand that this Mal Darkling fight is completely fanservice and serves nearly no purpose to the plot in general but like I? love it?

'I don't have to kill you Darkling. Your past will do it for me' YES HIMBO GO OFF YOU TELL THAT OLD MAN GODS THAT WAS SEXY AS FUCK

maybe it's because I know Darkles will survive and will come out of it more powerful but I can't get myself to feel bad for him at the moment

Inej and Mal tearing up at Alina's condition made me almost feel something despite it being super obvious she was gonna be fine and save their asses at the last moment

HER POWER

a solitary Kaz in spotted on the western side of the newly expanded fold in his signature all black emo boy look

okay but the crows with zoya and malina is such an adorable team? I literally love them so much?

INEJ'S FUCKING SMILE AT ALINA GIVING HER THE DAGGER AND KAZ LOOKING AT HER AGSGSGSHSJSJSK MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE

SHE KNOWS JUST WHAT TO NAME IT WELL GIRLIE I KNOW IT TOO AND MY FUCKING HEART IS LITERALLY GONNA BURST

okay I know they had one interaction but Mal and Jesper would be besties in another universe

Kaz glaring at Jesper when he answers ''course not' to Alina's 'will you still be trying to kidnap me?' tell me one fucking adaptation that got the dynamics between characters this perfectly

okay why do I love that Alina kept the jewellery as maybe a small nod to she has the wits to, um, you know, I don't wanna say steal, but, um, yeah, steal it because she knew she would need money to survive on the run

oh Jessie I love you so much I wish you hadn't said those things on you ig story about the brownface

it's like every single celeb I grow attached to god's like nope that one is going to do or say something problematic (hey btw im not reassigning blame to god for stuff people have done out of their own free will, 'twas a joke)

AAAAAAAH them saying 'the deal is the deal' in the show even though they didn't have to but like they did and I love them for it

Inej literally not being able to not stare at Kaz's face and smile after this <3

'I didn't expect it to burn at all. But it can be destroyed in the end. Just like him' babe you're not wrong but like um just you wait

god Mal being on supportive boyfie mode is well, absolutely adorable, obviously, but I wish we got to see more of him as a person outside of his attachment to Alina

kaz my little demjin I wish you hadn't have had to suffer so much to meet the crows and find your calling

fastforwarding Zoya's arc is also an interesting choice to me

I wish the hug hadn't been done though, it didn't feel earned

maybe Alina awkwardly and half-heartedly (remember, at this point the alliance is fresh and they still don't entirely trust each other) reached for a hug and Zoya avoided her? and then the rest of Zoya's lines followed? that would have made more sense to me at least

I love Sujaya as well, she brought life into Zoya with whatever little screentime and scraps of writing she got

inej asking kaz 'what's your angle?' beep bop bleep morp I sense another incoming embarrassing love confession

'but we do need you' *stares at her face intensely* 'I need you' ah look at the clock, look's like it's time to screech and flap your arms like you're a volcra because you're incapable of containing your emotions

NO YOU CAN'T GO DIRECTLY FROM KANEJ PROGRESS TO HELNIK BREAKUP (TEMPORARY, MIND YOU)

helnik my loves you don't deserve this I'm so sorry for both of you

Matthias fucking smiling ruefully while he says 'this was... just a cruel joke all along' THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY

omg hellgate

AAAAAAAAH NINA IS ON THE SAME FRAME AS THE OG CROWS I CAN'T HANDLE THIS

CAMERA PAN FROM KAZ SAYING 'JUST HOW THIS ALL STARTED... WE'RE GONNA NEED A HEARTRENDED' TO NINA OVERHEARING HIM AND LOOKING OVER?????!!!!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME?!

Nina genuinely being curious as to the status of the sun saint because she obviously still cares

Also, 'But she is a Saint' okay Kaz trying to earn brownie points you have succeeded

DID THAT SAILOR JUST SAY 'GOED MORGEN FENTOMEN' TO MALINA BECAUSE I AM NOT OKAY WITH THEM JUST THROWING THAT IN MY FACE ALL OF A SUDDEN

gods I know I'll probably see them again but my heart is full of sorrow as my eyes drink in the sight of my crows for the last time for a while

I know people were annoyed at the meadow flashbacks but guess what? as a darklina, I loved them

'now that the Darkling is dead' could have phrased that a little differently my dudes that line needed to hold more weight

am I glad that they showed Darkles in this state with his nichevo'ya as a tasty little cliffhanger despite not being entirely true to the source material? maybe but only because Ben Barnes saying 'follow' and the nichevo'ya doing exactly so sent a chill down my spine

well, that's it for now, I'll have to move on I guess, get back to my real life which I'm obviously not ready to do

thank you to whoever actually read these things

I probably should have just made reactions or commentary videos instead but I'm lazy

my tumblr will probably go into inactivity once more as I emerge from my stint in the grishaverse

it was quite short (less than 2 months), considering the length of my other obsessions but it was definitely more intense than the other ones

#netflix shadow and bone #shadow and bone #grishaverse #grishaverse spoilers #six of crows #sab #soc #tgt #the grisha trilogy spoilers #netflix shadow and bone spoilers #shadow and bone spoilers #six of crows spoilers #sab spoilers #soc spoilers #tgt spoilers #alina starkov #jessie mei li #ben barnes #aleksander morozova #the darkling #general kirigan #darklina #malyen oretsev #malina #zoya nazyalensky #sujaya dasgupta #fedyor kaminsky #julian kostov #ivan no last name #ivan

[sheadre]

When Stars Collide (Jackson Wang x Reader) Part 2/2

Part One

Warnings: none

Jackson’s PoV.

He stared at his phone as he sat in his living room. Jackson felt so restless a long time ago, his heart was always thumping hard against his chest whenever he saw a picture of her. She was beautiful and her laugh was music to his ears. It’s been a week since he took her home after wrapping up the song at the studio. Ever since she debuted in N3XUS she drew his attention to herself in every music video or variety show.

Fans pointed out how badly her bandmates treated her and how much she was ignored by both the other girls and the company. She posted a few acoustic versions of their songs on her Instagram which left many people dumbfounded why her company was treating her so poorly. She was more than just talented. Jackson knew that he might fall in love with her right after he walked into the studio. Her voice was mesmerizing and it expressed so many feelings. He couldn’t help but stare at her in awe through the glass window.

He kept thinking back to that kiss she pressed onto his cheek as she said goodbye. He never thought he would feel like this. Even when he was so in love with Alice, it couldn’t compare to that buzzing he felt around (Name). Jackson sighed leaning back into his couch pulling a pillow into his arms, hugging it tightly. Then his phone went off startling him.

“Ey, man, I’m coming over with some take-out” sounded Bam Bam’s voice from the other end. “Jinyoung’s with me too.”

“Will you ever stop acting like you can just walk in here like you own the place?” Jackson sighed but smiled. Even after years of GOT7 ending, they were still as close as ever. Soon his doorbell rang and when he opened it, Bam Bam walked inside like he owned the place. He hung his head as he chuckled but his worry and nervousness never eased. Why couldn’t he just text her? Why was he so nervous?

“Hey man, you look like someone kicked your puppy” Bam Bam turned back to him while Jinyoung took his shoes off. Jackson’s response was silence as he walked over to the counter and started unpacking the food. “Wait, did Alice contact you again? Did she call you again?”

“No… the last time she did, I blocked her” Jackson shook his head while turning to the cabinets so he could grab plates and silverware.

“Then what’s wrong?” Jinyoung asked and his expression showed his worry for his friend.

“Ah, it has to be a girl! Did you get a new girlfriend? One night stand? Anything? Have you gotten laid ever since…?” Bam Bam was immediately interested making Jackson roll his eyes again.

“I have no idea, okay?” Jackson groaned as he planted himself in his couch with a pout on his lips. “We were connecting, wrote a song but… I don’t know…”

“Why are you not calling her? Just find out if she’s into you, man” his friend plopped down next to him. “It’s been so long since you looked at a woman other than as a friend. You need to get laid.”

“That is the only thing you can think about?” Jackson hit Bam Bam with a pillow. “I have no idea what to say…”

“Just text her ‘hi’ and she will respond, the pick up lines are so lame anyway but you can try them if you want her to run to the other end of the planet” Jinyoung chimed in making Jackson look at him as evilly as possible. The conversation quickly turned towards what everyone was doing and other things. It was relaxing to just let go of all the busy work days for a while and think about anything and nothing at the same time.

Then later that night, Jackson grabbed his phone and typed in those two letters with a winky emoji. His heart jumped in his chest but he decided to just put his phone down and take a shower first. He was tired and would have a long day the other day. When he finished with the shower, a message was waiting for him.

Time skip ~

A months went by and to his delight, the company wanted him and (Name) to shoot an MV for the song they collaborated on. It was tiring but he was filled with energy as he danced with her. She was so mesmerizing in her costume, her dance moves so smooth like she was born to do this and he thought so in reality. Jackson ever since seeing her perform on stage during a concert or in a music video, he thought that she was a natural. Her moves and gestures looked so effortless compared to the other girls in her band.

However, he knew that if you were passionate about what you were doing, people could achieve more than they would ever dream of. He was certain that she would achieve all her goals and more leaving everyone mesmerized. Then they were asked to perform on the newest Idol Producer during the live concert. The hype around the two of them was already large, fans wanted them to be together so when they appeared and he kissed her on stage, the whole place seemed to explode. They both agreed to it especially after the company asked them to show more intimate for the fans. It was too easy and he felt like no one was around them, like there was only the two of them. It was so sweet and he wanted to hold her and never let go. Jackson could see the same thing in her eyes but the moment ended with the music and she broke out of her trance.

To his disappointment, she had to leave the scene right after their performance for an interview with Elle. After that, they both had little time to even just chat with him being in a different country. It was frustrating then Jackson was invited to an awards show where everything turned downhill. One of the actresses he never even met before tried to make small talk and get closer to him. The intentions were so obvious and the woman was looking so cheap, acting so cheap. Though, the gentleman in him kept being polite to her which she took as a green light to be more pushy. Yibo, noticed it but was too busy listening to a director talk to him to go over to them. Jackson wasn’t angry with Yibo for not helping him out, he was still young and that director was way more important than to leave him hanging. Then the actress was in his lap before he realized what was happening and of course many fans and paparazzi shot a ton of photos in different angles of them.

First time in his life, Jackson pushed a woman away and ran away in frustration. He knew that by the time he reached the hotel room, (Name) would’ve already seen the photos and the none existent stories with them. But he couldn’t give up, he couldn’t let her slip away. For weeks, he felt miserable because she didn’t answer any of his texts or calls. One night, when he just wanted to fall into bed and not wake up for the next 72 hours, he found a letter on his coffee table with a ticket to Seoul. He furrowed his eyebrows as he lifted the letter to read it properly.

Dear Mr. Wang,

It’s Sue, (Name)’s assistant. I’m writing to you because I am aware of the truth behind those pictures. I’ve seen your live stream two weeks ago in which you explained everything. (Name) refused to see it but I know that it is not late, she is very much in love with you. I’m not writing to you as her assistant but as her friend.

There is an airplane ticket for you for the flight that comes to Seoul from Shanghai at 11 pm. I will arrange everything so she will be home, here’s the code for her apartment complex’s gate. I hope you can come…

Jackson’s heart seemed to skip a beat as he processed the words. He grabbed his phone, some cash with his keys and called a cab. He had to reach the flight which would take off in two hours. Throughout the flight he was restless, thinking about a million ways what to say to her. He couldn’t lose her. No one made him feel this way before, get under his skin, fill him with energy and make him giddy. Getting to her apartment was easy but knocking on her door was harder. Jackson stood there with a dry mouth and blinked a few times before he groaned and just knocked on the wooden surface of it without a thought in his head. He heard soft footsteps padding up to the door but all the air left his lungs when he saw her.

Your PoV.

You knew that everyone noticed your pouty face and bad mood lately but only Sue said anything about it. After all, she was the only person you told about your true feelings for Jackson. To your surprise, she wasn’t even surprised about that fact, just smirked at you knowingly and insisted on showing you Jackson’s live stream.

You definitely missed him. Being around him made everything so easy and effortless, so carefree. Ever since you stopped texting him, your days turned dull and grey. Nothing really interested you anymore and found yourself staring at your TV with a blank expression. Suddenly, someone knocked on your door which surprised you because you didn’t order food nor did you called over anyone. Not that you had many people to call over.

You walked up to the door with your eyebrows furrowed and opened the door. You thought you were having a heart attack when you saw who it was. Jackson was standing on the other side, disheveled, glitter sticking to half of his face and neck, dark circles under his eyes and panting heavily as he stared at you with wide eyes.

“J-Jackson?” you asked unsure of what you were supposed to do. “Um… Come in.”

Walking past you, you could smell his smell. You always thought that it was nice for him to not put on liters of cologne. Other guys tended to do so suffocating anyone in a ten meter radius.

“(Name)… just please, listen to me, I know the photos and what the media made up is contradictory but there was nothing going on between me and that woman” Jackson sputtered quickly after you closed the door. He grabbed your hand and looked at you pleadingly. “Please, believe me…”

“Why… are you explaining anything to me?” you asked quietly trying to pull away. He didn’t owe you anything, he was a free man, there was nothing official going on between the two of you. “You… don’t owe me anything…”

“Then why are you not responding? Why are you ignoring me since then?” he asked and leaned down so he could look into your eyes. He reached up to cup your face and wiped a tear away. You reached up and touched the wet trail of the tear in surprise. “I know we never got to officially go out… I wanted to ask you out properly after that night when we performed in live TV but you had to go to an interview. (Name)… I’ve never felt anything like this with anyone before…”

Jackson was looking deep into your eyes, forehead almost touching yours. He was still so perfect and you knew you would be a fool to not say yes. Every inch of you wanted to say yes… ever since you met him in the studio.

“I wasn’t angry with you…” you sniffed as you held onto his hand that cupped your face. “I was afraid that I was seeing too much into everything… I was afraid to be heartbroken.”

“I know… and I want to make it up to you” he breathed before his lips crashed against yours in an urgent, impatient yet sweet kiss. You could feel his desperation as he held onto you like his life depended on it. You kissed him back with your eyes closed. Your heart was thumping so hard against your ribcage as he pulled you closer.

He was everything you ever wanted and you were grateful for the stars to lead you to him.

Ten years later ~

Hong Kong was beautiful in its own way. You learnt Chinese quickly especially with Jackson helping you when you got stuck. When he first brought you home, to introduce you to his family, he seemed to be so proud showing you off. His family was nice and accepted you completely after Jackson proposed to you.

You knew how hard it was for him to propose after how his first fiancée let him down, but you couldn’t be happier to tie the knot with him. It was natural and nothing changed after years of marriage either except that you got two kids. You were always laughing your head off when Jackson was once left with your daughter for days because you had some work over seas and showed you the drawing your daughter made. He was glowing with pride and happiness, already telling your daughter that she was a true artist.

It was filling you with happiness to see him happy. He was so good at taking care of your kids, even made a special performance with them for Mother’s Day for you. Though, you got a whole different performance later in the bedroom. You loved him more than anything and you knew he felt the same way about you. There was no need for any proof.

End ~

#jackson wang #王嘉尔 #jackson #jackson wang x reader #jackson x reader #romance #fluff #fanfiction #k-pop #got7 jackson

[alliterative-albatross]

So, I sent you (@disgruntledspacedad) a pretty long ask a while ago (back when you had anon on) and I'm decently sure Tumblr ate it (or maybe you ignored it, in which case, feel free to ignore this one as well). But then I saw one of those "writers appreciate feedback no matter how long" posts, so I'm back here. Here is my mediocre attempt to rewrite my original review of your work. Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if at any point my phrasing sounds weird to you, you know why. Mandatory disclaimer/apology: this might get a little too long 😅

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

I remember being SO mad at myself for not finding this sooner. I binge read it one afternoon with no thoughts for any real life responsibilities I might have had (and no regrets). Javiears is one hell of an unconventional relationship in the beginning, and I really love what you did with them. The whole premise of your story is quite refreshing, and you somehow manage to convey the trust and mutual respect there two feel for one another without explicitly showing us the beginning of their "entanglement".

Also, fuck you for what you did to poor Emilio, that man was a saint and he deserved better! I honestly can't believe that I got so attached to a character that appeared so little in the story, but it happened, and his death kind of broke my heart.

But the Javiears reunion + mild confession was lovely, and felt completely deserved. And of course the sex scene. I won't lie, I expected a bit better from Javi there, but I did like how utterly /human/ it was. Capturing that humanity, the imperfections in each character is something you're really good at (more on that later).

AFTERSHOCKS

Ah, my emotionally constipated babies who really need to work out their communication issues. I do love them, though. And this short series did a really good job of delving a bit deeper into Ears's and Javi's psyche. Kudos to you for dealing with the medical "aftershocks" of living through an explosion AND using that experience to move your emotional plot forward. These two need to grow a lot before they can get to a stable point in their relationship, and you really manage to convey their insecurity and fear of commitment/intimacy while making it clear that they're in it for the long run and that theirs is a relationship that WILL work out so help them God.

IF I FALL

Ouch. Punch me in the gut while you're at it, why don't you?

But seriously, "If I Fall" is SO FUCKING GOOD. Don't get me wrong, it's angstier than an image of Jesus on the cross (don't judge me, it's Holy Week and I just got home from accompanying my grandma to church), but it somehow works beautifully. You, my dear, play heartstrings like they're a fucking guitar and I AM HERE FOR IT.

You're doing an amazing job at making me feel everything these characters are feeling, which is both awful (bc pain) and impressive.

Also, if anything happens to Ana I will cry, because she is adorable and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also, if anything happens to Ears I will cry, because she is badass and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Also also also, if anything happens to Javi I will cry, because he is loving and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.

Basically, I am really invested in the well-being of these characters and can't wait until they're happy and safe again (please tell me they will be, my heart can't handle much more pain).

A quick note on the angst complaints: yes, this story is way angstier than most other fics out there and it can be a bit too much at times, especially considering how many chapters of pain it's been. BUT it's obvious that "If I Fall" NEEDS this amount of angst to get where it's going, to send the message it wants to and to properly develop its characters. The pain is as important to this story as flour is to bread. You may not like eating flour on its own (I don't think anyone does), but you love bread (because bread is amazing) and you must recognize that bread NEEDS flour to work. It wouldn't be bread otherwise. And eating the flour as part of the bread even makes you like the flour because the bread is just DELICIOUS.

I fully understand and sympathize with the people who have elected to table "If I Fall" until it's completed so they can binge read it knowing there's a happy ending in sight, but in case you're feeling a bit self conscious about all the angst, please know that your story is beautiful not in spite of the pain, but rather /because of it/.

PS: No, I'm not high/drunk, I just really like bread

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Silly thing to comment on, I know, but I do feel like it's important that you know how useful your ANs have been. There are many details in the story that I simply wouldn't fully get without reading your comments at the end of each chapter, and I appreciate your writing a hell of a lot more knowing how deeply you understand and care for each one of your characters. Plus, it is obvious how much work you've put into researching a country and a time period that are (from what I gather) unfamiliar to you, and I really do believe you've done an amazing job of it.

JAVIER PEÑA

My boy. I love your characterization of this complicated character, and I have eagerly read each and every one of your headcanons about him. I can't really say if your version is fully faithful to the source material because it's been a while since I saw Narcos, but your Javi most definitely reads like a real person. He's fairly consistent as a character, and I feel like everything he does is perfectly natural for him to do as a character. He makes for an unconventional yet deeply interesting romantic lead, and so far I have thoroughly enjoyed all his POV chapters/scenes.

OCs

I know you've gotten some flack for making her into an OC halfway into the story, and while I get why the sudden change may have felt like a disappointment for some, I don't share that sentiment. I firmly believe that this fandom is unfairly harsh towards Original Characters and their creators, and I don't really understand why. Listen, I love Reader fics, and consume many Reader fics. I have read dozens, maybe even hundreds, and I can safely say that I've only ever "inserted" myself in approximately 10% of those stories. Reader characters are not as blank as their writers may want them to be. They can't be. They're characters, and character have personalities and moral values and senses of humor and a bunch of other things. Reader characters may not have a backstory or a physical description attached (and even that's not guaranteed), but they're still characters.

And on a more personal note, pretending they're actual blank slates is naive at best and insensitive at worst. Reader characters are American coded 99% of the time, and white coded 95% of the time. Not every readers is white nor American, even if that's the predominant demographic on Tumblr. When I read a JavixReader fic about a woman who speaks exactly zero Spanish, I know she's not me. The story may be beautifully written and have an amazing plot and character development, but the Reader *isn't me*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and some of my favorite xReader stories feature a "reader" who couldn't be more different from me, but it's something that enemies of OC fics should take into account. Particularly if they are white and/or American. But I digress.

HANNAH AARONS

Your character is amazing. She's strong, smart, confident, independent and an all-around badass. She gets kidnapped while pregnant and still focuses on problem solving and survival. But she's also overly guarded and mistrustful, and really needs to work on her communication skills. There are times when I absolutely love her and even admire her, and other times when I want to whack her with a slipper. She's no Mary Sue, but remains interesting and likeable throughout the story. She feels wholly human and real, and that's no easy task. I like her, I am invested in her, and I can't wait to see what's next for her. She's a compelling and three dimensional protagonist in a complex story who never fails to draw me in. I love her. She's your baby, and you should be proud of her.

Also, quick question about personality types: I know you've typed Javi as ESFP and Ears as ENTP (100% agree on both, btw), but have you given any thought to their enneagram types? I personally have always seen Ears as being somewhere on the thinking triad, maybe a 7 or even a 6w7, but I'm not too sure about Javi. 9w8 maybe? He could also be a 6w5 🤔

PARTING THOUGHTS

Basically, I love your story, your characters and your writing in general. You are a fantastic storyteller and wordsmith. You get into the heads of incredibly different characters personality-wise (Ears, Javi, Berna...) and manage to capture all of their complexities and quirks every single time. And it doesn't feel like it's something innate for you either. To me, it seems that you have put a lot of work and effort into understanding each and every one of your characters, who they are, why they do what they do and what they want. And let me tell you, all that effort has been more than worth it. "Better Love" is a fanfic, but it wouldn't be out of place in a regular bookstore, if I'm honest. I don't know what you do for a living or if you've ever considered writing professionally, but you clearly have the skills and the drive to create some masterpieces.

You are amazing and your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us, and have a nice day! ~ 🍪

~

My friend, I apologize for hoarding your first ask. I’ve been sitting on it because I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy going back and rereading it. It gave me a lot of comfort when I was in a pretty dark place, both personally and in regards to my writing, and I was reluctant to send it out into the the abyss of Tumblr where I might never see it again. 

That’s not fair, though. You put just as much effort into sending me that review as I put into my writing, and I apologize for never responding to you.

Okay, anyway, so twice now, you’ve made me cry. In a good way, I promise! 

I absolutely love your bread/flour metaphor. It made perfect sense. I want the emotional release of Javi and Hannah’s reunion to be earned, and in order to do that, the angst has to come first (there are also a few plot “ingredients” that have yet to make their appearances). Thank you very much for understanding that, and for voicing it so eloquently.

I appreciate your comments on my research and characterization. You’re correct that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting a universe. In a lot of ways, I’m doing my best to stay true to the source material (regarding culture and timelines in particular), and in others, I’m branching into my own territory. 

On that note, I’ve never once regretted fully embracing Hannah Aarons’ identity as an OC. She’s stayed consistent in my mind from the beginning, and it was a relief to finally share my vision of her with the audience. And for the record, I totally agree with you regarding “reader” characters. Every reader insert echoes the perspective of their author, no matter how vague the physical description. I can only imagine how grating that must be from the perspective of a non-white, non-american reader. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I will certainly keep it in mind the next time I write a “reader insert” fic.

Okay, enneagrams! I am much less familiar with enneagram than I am MBTI, but I agree 110% that Javi is a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I waffled back and forth on Ears a little, but eventually landed on 8w7 for her. It came down to the eight’s deepest fear, which is being controlled. That’s Ears all over, and the fact that she and Javi share that eight willfulness means that they might butt heads a little, which also seems very appropriate for them. Big thanks to @remusstark for her insight into the eight frame of mind - our conversations helped solidify my decision on this. :)

Anyway, I’m just rambling now. The big take-away point that I want you to get is that I am so, so grateful to you, both for your insightful feedback and your dedication in making sure that I actually saw it. You are an absolute gem and a deep thinker, Cookie-Anon, and if you ever feel like sliding into my DM’s, I’d welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.

Mad love and soft hugs, 

~ Jay

[lizacstuff]

SCK episode 46 asks!

Hi folks, below the read more you'll find a smattering of asks about this week's episode as well as a few spoilers for 47.

Good asks this week:

(under the cut)

Anonymous asked: this may be superficial of me, but why are they dressing Serkan in such ugly tops? they finally brought Eda's hair back but now this

BWAH! You're not wrong. You know what I'm wondering, if they've put him in some of those outfits because they are showing his suburban dad side? It's kind of a subtle nod to him embracing father hood and a different way of life? He's now all about running around the yard after his daughter and not about what he looks like when he's being SERKAN BOLAT, FAMOUS BUSINESS MAN and WORLD'S BEST ARCHITECT.

Also, Eda's hair, thank goodness they let that go once the flashbacks were over and we didn't need something to distinguish between then and now! Those curly bangs were not it.

Anonymous asked: They built up the Edser chemistry soooooo well throughout the episode... for that ending? Who decided to cut it there?! The scene was BEAUTIFUL I’m actually upset lol. are not we going to see any more? I’m not asking for a sex scene, I wanted to see THE moment they decided to get back together (the tattoo line doesn’t do it for me) - a few words, tears as they embrace, him walking through the door as she closes it, one passionate kiss, something! But it doesn’t feel like a cliffhanger that continues next week. I’ll be so underwhelmed when they cut to the morning after and we have to infer that they got back together overnight *sigh* if they were allowed 1 kiss only, id rather it have been here instead of ep 2

We do deserve to see how they reconcile, that should be one of the biggest moments of the season after 7 episodes of build up to it.

90% of final scenes in this show have continued uninterrupted the next week. To me there's no reason to think the next episode won't pick up right where this one left off. Crossing fingers!

Anonymous asked: It just hit me that Serkan is the “Kiraz” for Kemal - but Kemal actually missed his child’s whole 35 years 😬 this is an interesting turn of events. Also that line Serkan said about how fathers should love their child’s mother and how he didn’t have that with his own parents....but his real dad does love Aydan, more than she deserves haha.

Oh so true! Kemal really does love his mother more than she deserves! How he puts up with her, I don't know.

The parallel between Serkan/Kemal and Kiraz/Serkan is strong and I hope it gives Serkan some perspective when he starts grappling with this knowledge. I'm sure it's going to be very disconcerting for him, because while he expected to never see his father again, Alptekin is still his father. He's still the man who raised him and formed him into the man he is. Serkan still runs the company he founded and bears his name.

I don't expect any of that to change, but hopefully he can forge a separate relationship with Kemal that might fill some emotional holes that he has and bring him some peace.

None of that even contemplates how Kemal will feel, thankfully Aydan didn't willfully hide the truth from him. How awful to realize you lost 35 years.

We aren't there yet, but I wonder at what age with Kiraz learn the truth, that her dad is not an astronaut, that her parents went through hell with with cancer and plane crashes, and that her father didn't know of her existence until right before they met?

Just something to think about.

Anonymous asked: i'm so happy for hanker, don't get me wrong, and i'm also so happy we get "together" edser for so many episodes until the end, but i'm already tired of the constant "hanker improvising" comments i know i will be seeing. not that they don't improvise in some scenes, but i just know that every romantic edser scene is gonna be analyzed to hell bc ppl want to look for hanker in them. like there's no possible way that ayse, the writer ppl hate the most, could write any romantic scenes.. nope no way!

Yes, this is one of my pet peeves, I can't stand the "Edser left the chat" and all the "that's Hanker, not Edser" type conversation. it's so invasive and most of all disrespectful to not only the writers, but Hande and Kerem and all the work they pour into bringing Eda and Serkan to life.

One of the things in fandom that sets my teeth on edge is when folks take some interpretation of the character by the actor and then decide because it wasn't "scripted" (pro tip the vast majority of physical movements the actors make are "unscripted") that it must just be the actors themselves and have nothing to do with the characters. What an embarrassing and naïve assertion. Actors literal job is to take what's on the page and then translate that. So, no, OF COURSE, every look and touch is not scripted. The actors interpret how their characters would think and feel, and what they would do in given moments and then do those things.

Eda is not touching Serkan's arm just because Hande can't hold herself back from touching Kerem. Puh-lease, they are professionals. Grow up.

However, having said all that, I do think there was one scene that seemed to be very improvised this episode. The bean scene in the grocery store did feel like them just eFFing around. LOL.

andhewonherheart asked: @andhewonherheart: SCK promo department is best and worst all at the same time, cause giving away the last (cliffhanger) scene in fragman is just cruel. But based on the next week’s fragman thing happens that we we think happens *wink*

Hee! So true. The thing I'm grateful for is that in season 2 not one fragman has made me dread the episode, I think there was at least one fragman an episode from 29-37 that was hella upsetting.

As far as I'm concerned these fragmans are doing there job, making me want to watch.

I am really excited for Serkan planning how he's going to ask Eda to marry him, I wonder what Kiraz's reaction is going to be. So far she's been their very own cupid!

Anonymous asked: I didn't find it surprising that Serkan removed his tattoo as soon as Eda left. His logic is always out of sight out of mind though it doesn't work. He did the same when he broke up with her when he found out about the death of her parents. He removed all of her belongings. But their memories are too strong and enough for him to continue to remember her.

Truth! Will he ever learn that it's never going to work? He'll never be able to erase Eda, she has left an indelible mark on his soul. Let's hope he's never faced with that situation again! From here on out, he and Eda are together, a unit, and will live a long life together and in love.

Anyone have any guesses where Eda's tattoo is? Will we find out or will it remain between the characters.

Anonymous asked: I've seen some people say that Edser are getting married now way too fast and to that I just have to laugh lol. First there were complaints we don't have happy Edser and now when we do, of course there's something else. These two have had a rollercoaster of a year when they first met and a five year separation.. they've been through the dating phase, the engaged phase.. of course they'll head straight to the altar! It's not like Eda's plane proposal and that first wedding wasn't rushed either!

I'm on team head straight to the alter! No more waiting. They've had terrible luck, so they just need to tie the knot and make sure there are no easy outs.

As for people who think it's too fast, they don't even know the storyline yet, I swear there are folks who complain just because that's their personality and they're never satisfied.

Anonymous asked: From some of the spoilers of BTS pics, and the fragman we got, I was just reflecting on this season and Turk romcom dizis in general and I just wanted to say how LUCKY we are to see Edser married (again, from spoilers) and with a kid on screen for more than just 10 minute at the end of the finale. Like, it is really rare and as much as people have nitpicked on this season in general, I feel like watching these last episodes have been such a breeze after the last arc of S1.

Oh agreed, I think these episodes have been very enjoyable. The writers are giving me exactly what I want from this show. Comedy, UST, romance with a little light angst thrown in now and again. I would rewatch this season a dozen times before even thinking about watching anything from the 30s.

We are very lucky that we've got to see them as parents, and actually forming their family. We've gotten so much domestic goodness so far and we still have a ways to go. I'm very appreciative of this season and that Ayse came back, got rid of the constant ridiculous melodrama for melodrama's-sake and is telling a very human story about family and love persevering.

Anonymous asked: the last scene gave me chills for some reason. you could actually see eda fighting her head and her heart and deciding to take the step (metaphorically and physically!) towards him for good. i wanna SUE whoever decided to end it the ep there though.. it was actually cruel. also looking at the next frag.. it makes my heart soft that in the flashbacks we see serkan pushing off their wedding bc of his fears and now he can't propose and get married fast enough.. can't believe we're really getting it

I know, it's almost surreal at this point. Since we're near the end we know it's for real and won't be ruined by psychos or awful family members or terminal illness. I just hope that they give us an emotional scene when they get married, whether its just them or the whole cast is there as guests, after everything they've (we've) been through we need to see them both feeling that moment and reveling in it.

FYI - I'm out of town next weekend, so I may be slower than usual in replying to asks and in posting gifs of 47, but I'll get to it all eventually!

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Sen Cal Kapimi #Edser #sckask #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #asklizac jmo personal life #singles anonym

[imsorryimlate]

Specific references in Pomegranate Seeds, sorted by chapter

Title of work: Pomegranate Seeds

A reference to the myth of Persephone and Hades, where Hades is the god of the underworld who kidnaps Persephone �� the daughter of Demeter, goddess of agriculture and harvest – and makes her queen of the underworld. He gives her a pomegranate to eat, and for every seed she swallows she has to spend a month with Hades in the underworld. During the months she is with Hades, she is gone from her mother, and that’s why autumn and winter exist (since Demeter is grieving the loss of her daughter). Spring and summer are the months when she is back with Demeter, and Demeter is once again happy. The myth has lots of interpretations, but my favourite is the one where it is said to be based on the trauma of both daughter and mother as they are separated when the daughter gets married and enters a new household.

Even though Giorno’s mother didn’t treat him well, her death was most likely traumatic to him. He enters the new household of Dio (Hades) and every time they touch each other in a way that isn’t befitting father and son, one could say that Giorno swallows another pomegranate seed, and it binds him to the underworld. In this case, the underworld would both represent the criminal world, but also the trap of their incestuous relationship that he then cannot leave, should he want to.

No specific references in chapters 1 & 2.

Chapter 3:

Demetra – Giorno’s mother doesn’t have a name in canon, so I made one up. Demetra is the Italian version of Demeter, which is the name of the Greek goddess of agriculture and harvest. The goddess is the mother of Persephone, and the title of this fic – Pomegranate Seeds – is a reference to the myth of Hades and Persephone.

The biblical paintings in the church – John the Baptist (martyr) was beheaded, and Judas (traitor) hung himself. The imagery around Eve, the snake and the red apple, well… depending on how you interpret the story in the Bible, this could mean that the scene doesn’t represent a fall from grace, but rather that it was God’s intention to have humanity step into the broader world.

Dio’s books – I mostly just had a look at my own bookshelf, but I purposely included Nabokov, Machiavelli, and Plato. Nabokov, of course, references his infamous novel Lolita. Machiavelli was an Italian politician and philosopher during the Renaissance, and he’s most famous for his book The Prince, where he gave rulers quite… devious advice, not shying away from unethical and corrupt means. Therefore Machiavelli and the derived term Machiavellian often denotes (political) deceit. And Plato, well, in his text The Symposium he speaks of the ancient practice of pederasty in a very positive manner, and claiming that it is the purest form of love.

Aniara – I picked the book because it’s my sister’s favourite. It is a book-length epic science fiction poem that narrates the tragedy of a large passenger spacecraft carrying a cargo of colonists escaping destruction on Earth veering off course, leaving the Solar System and entering into an existential struggle. This is the “space-travel” Giorno later reflects on while in the bath.

No specific references in chapter 4.

Chapter 5:

The next reference to Machiavelli – Giorno thinks about Machiavelli and the question if it is better to be feared or loved, which is something Machiavelli writes about in his book The Prince, where he states that it is better for a ruler to be feared than loved, if they cannot be both.

No specific references in chapter 6.

Chapter 7:

Reckless – Giorno notes that Dio wants him “recklessly, passionately”. This is one of the two times the word “reckless” is used in this story; the only other time being in the first chapter when Giorno’s mother dies after her car collides with a reckless truck. Dio’s desire for Giorno is tied together with that accident, as if it’s equally dangerous.

Jewel – “Yes, Giorno would like something like that; to show Dio that he was a prized jewel, cut to fit perfectly in the curve of his palm.” This line directly references the Song of Songs 7:1 “Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand.”

Eden – “How truly unfortunate, that the most tempting fruit should be found in the middle of Eden.” The garden of Eden, in the Bible, is where life is first created by God. It can therefore also symbolise family, where life also is created. So what Dio essentially says here is “what a shame the most fuckable person is found in my family”.

Draconic tendencies – Giorno having “draconic tendencies” is a reference to his earlier thoughts about Abbacchio hoarding Bucciarati like a jealous dragon.

Chapter 8:

Buttercups – Giorno picks a bouquet of buttercups for Dio, and buttercups have traditionally been associated with childhood. It is meant to express that Giorno, no matter how mature he himself is convinced that he is, still has a childish edge to his affection. As a fun aside, the Latin name for buttercups is Ranunculus, which means “little frog”.

Leda and the Swan – the painting Dio has in his study. It is, of course, an erotic yet controversial motif in itself, but there are some references to the Greek myth it is based on. In it, Zeus disguises himself as a swan and copulates with Leda. It is not entirely clear if it is by rape or seduction. Zeus, of course, is known for his sexual escapades, his violent temper and jealousy, but here he disguises himself as a swan, which is an animal that in European culture often has symbolised love and fidelity. This story of a shady person disguising himself as someone loving, to enter a relationship where consent is dubious at best, well… I think the implications are clear. As a fun aside, the name Zeus and the name Dio are directly connected.

Uneasy lies the head – the whole quote is “uneasy lies the head that wears a crown”, a saying from Shakespeare’s play Henry IV, Part 2, meaning that someone with great responsibilities won’t be able to rest properly.

The prodigal son – it’s a reference to a parable in the Bible, from Luke 15:11-32. The story goes that a son requests his inheritance early, spends it all irresponsibly, and then returns home to beg his father to let him work for him. His father, however, welcomes him home with open arms and throws a feast, which indicates that he has hopefully waiting for the son to return.

Nakedness – the scene in Giorno’s room, where he lowers his duvet to display his “nakedness”, the word choice here is important. Except for Genesis 42, all biblical occurrences of the common idiom ”to see the nakedness of” or “to uncover the nakedness of” are explicitly sexual, usually referring to incest. The Classical Hebrew word 'erwā is not “nudity” but “nakedness”, in the sense of something that is unseemly or improper to look at or expose; often used to denote forbidden sexual relations.

Chapter 9:

Wine-dark – Dio’s eyes are described as wine-dark, which is a reference to the use of “wine-dark sea” in Homer. It’s an epithet used in the Iliad and the Odyssey, of uncertain meaning. What exactly does it mean that the sea is “wine-dark”? Is it a reference to the stormy sea being unpredictable, like someone who’s drunk on wine? Or does it tell us something about how ancient Greeks perceived colours, where maybe depth and opacity levels were more important than hues?

Ambrosia – Giorno compares the taste of Dio’s seed to ambrosia, which is the food and drink of the gods in Greek mythology.

Lollipop – Giorno is sucking on a lollipop while he’s out shopping. This is a shameless reference to the most culturally recognised image of Nabokov’s Lolita, where Sue Lyon, the actress who portrayed the character Lolita in Stanley Kubrick’s film adaption of the novel, is sucking on a red lollipop while wearing heart-shaped sunglasses. It’s worth noting, however, that the character Lolita doesn’t eat a lollipop in the novel or Kubrick’s film, and the images were only used for promotion. Either way, the lollipop has nonetheless become a symbol for playful, youthful temptation.

No specific references in chapter 10.

Chapter 11:

Dio’s alarming beauty – Giorno reflects on how beautiful Dio is, that he is alarmingly beautiful. This is a reference to a quote from The Secret History by Donna Tartt: “Beauty is rarely soft or consolatory. Quite the contrary. Genuine beauty is always quite alarming.”

Chapter 12:

Kisses – there’s a lot of descriptions of kissing in the beginning of this chapter, and it is all a reference to the biblical book Song of Songs. “Honey-sweet kisses that melted his tongue” is a reference to Song of Songs 4:11 “honey and milk are under your tongue”. On a more complicated note… “those kisses, Giorno drank them from his mouth like they were life-giving water” is a reference to Song of Songs 1:2 that should be “I want to drink kisses from his mouth”, however, most translations will read “let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth”. It’s really complicated as to why I and others would translate it differently, but in general it has to do with the manuscript and the Masoretic editors’ vocalisation, which in turn has a lot to do with evaluating Classical Hebrew grammar and poetic conventions… I am going to spare you that lecture, but I still wanted to let you know that you won’t find that wording in most English translations of the Bible.

The garden, Eden, and juvenile sex – this all ties together. The garden of Eden is, in the Bible, where life is created and before “the fall of man”, it is a place of peace and innocence. Now, it might seem strange to refer to innocence in a story like this, but there still is a certain kind of innocence to their relationship, especially on Giorno’s end. They are described as “easy and unafraid, in full view of God”, which again is a reference to the biblical creation story; after “the fall of man”, when Adam and Eve have sinned, they are suddenly afraid of God and tries to hide from him, and for the first time shield their nudity, since they have now lost that innocence. So, Dio and Giorno being unafraid in full view of God is another reference to them being fairly innocent. At least that’s how Giorno conceptualises it.

Satyriasis – a word for excessive sexual desire, and an outdated term for hypersexuality. The word was developed in relation to the satyrs of Greek mythology, who were lustful woodland gods.

Nipple play – Giorno sucking on Dio’s tits, well… quite obvious reference, but if you missed it; it’s a reference to breastfeeding and nourishment.

Sunlight – in Stardust Crusaders, Dio tells Polnareff that he too has pain in his life because he can never see the sunlight, since he is a vampire. In this story, Dio isn’t a vampire, but I still wanted to include this pain. Dio’s love for the sunshine, and the depravation of it in his childhood, is my attempt to reconceptualise it.

Chapter 13:

Ice cream – elder flower sorbet has a tendency to taste like laundry detergent if you’re not careful, so Mista definitely picked the wrong flavour that time.

Know thy enemy – “know thy enemy” is a famous quote from The Art of War by Sun Tzu.

Chapter 14:

Paradise burning – more Eden references, they never truly stop.

Loins – in Classical Hebrew, one specifically emphasises that a child has sprung from someone’s loins to indicate that it is a biological child rather than an adopted one.

Deadly sins – Giorno notes that one of the seven deadly sins, sloth (that is, excessive laziness and indifference), doesn’t come as naturally to him as others would (such as lust or pride).

Know thy self – another reference to the famous quote of Sun Tzu’s The Art of War.

Companion – Giorno thinks about how the universe has blessed Dio with a companion that can keep up with him, which is a subtle reference to the creation myth in the Bible. There, God creates the first human, Adam. Adam attempts to find a companion amongst the other creatures, but cannot find an equal until God creates another human – incidentally, God creates another human from Adam (by his rib), which of course parallels with Giorno being created from Dio, since he is his biological child.

Clay – the dream Giorno has of Dio forming him out of clay and breathing life into him is another direct reference to the creation myth in the Bible, where God forms the first human out of clay/soil/dust from the ground and breathes life into his nostrils. Similar creation myths are found in several ancient Near Eastern religions. If you want a little more “fun” fact, the first human is named Adam, a name he gets from the Classical Hebrew word for “man” (as in human – not male), which is adam, and the word for “ground” is adamah, which ties to all together quite nicely.

Nakedness – Dio uncovers Giorno’s nakedness, and just like in chapter 8 it’s a biblical reference. Except for Genesis 42, all biblical occurrences of the common idiom ”to see the nakedness of” or “to uncover the nakedness of” are explicitly sexual, usually referring to incest. The Classical Hebrew word 'erwā is not “nudity” but “nakedness”, in the sense of something that is unseemly or improper to look at or expose; often used to denote forbidden sexual relations.

Chapter 15.

Cuddling – after having breakfast, they cuddle, and their position is described as Giorno resting his head on Dio’s left arm, and Dio draping his other arm over Giorno’s waist. This position is a reference to the biblical book the Song of Songs 2:6 “His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.”

Angel lust – Dio gets hard after Giorno chokes him, which he says is a perfectly natural reaction to being choked. Which it is! “Angel lust” or “death erection” refers to the phenomenon of men executed by hanging having an erection, because of the increased downward blood flow. After observing this, doctors in the 17th century started prescribing choking sex to men with erectile dysfunction, and that’s partly where erotic asphyxiation comes from.

England – the phrase “lie back and think of England”, alternatively “close your eyes and think of England” is an old-timey reference to unwanted sex that one doesn’t enjoy – specifically used for sex within a marriage, which at least back in the day was more of an economic arrangement than a love affair. Disgustingly, it means “just lie back and endure it”.

Bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh – this is another reference to the creation story in the Bible. The specific verse is Genesis 2:23, when God has created another human to be a worthy companion of the first one. Adam, the first human, has searched for a companion among the animals but been unsuccessful to find an equal. But when he meets the newly created Eve, the second human, he exclaims “At last! This is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (since she was created from his rib). That “at last!” is very sweet – and fits in this story too! Dio has finally found a worthy companion to share his highest highs and deepest lows with.

Chapter 16.

Roses – Giorno buys a bouquet of roses for Dio. This is intended as a contrast to the buttercups he picked for Dio in chapter 8, being that roses are a much more “mature” flower than buttercups, therefore showing that Giorno has matured. Also, the fact that he buys the bouquet of roses while he picked the buttercups indicate a certain loss of simplicity and naturalness in their relationship.

Fin.

#/ #// #/// #//// #///// #just fanfiction stuff pls look away #i tried to make this a private post but tumblr be fucking with me #pomegranate seeds references

[birdsofpry]

Can I get #6 with pre serum steve 😋

I love pre serum steve and writing bratty readers so voila! I hope you enjoy <3

I’m not going to audition for your attention

x

You rolled your tongue through sticky pink, flattening the gum against the roof of your mouth and blowing thin streams of air into the candy. You folded the gum in your mouth, snapping air bubbles loudly, creating pockets of jarring popping that disrupted the silence of the room in rapid succession. Your feet were plated firmly against the wall, giving you a perfect angle to examine your fresh pedicure while you lounged in a sea of quilts and comforters. 

The room was silent other than the comfortable ambience of shuffled blankets, your huffing sighs and the soft etch of graphite on paper (and your gum, of course). 

Steve sat in the corner of his small studio apartment at his shitty Ikea desk he’d bought right out of college. His back was to you as he sketched out a rough concept for his latest commission. Worn cotton pants draped over his thin legs, soft green fabric pooling at his ankles as he worked.

His art had become quite lucrative in the past few years, thankfully. 

He had paid his dues; had been a starving artist working graveyards and busing tables, all while being rejected, underpaid and under appreciated. Somehow, in the end he got lucky. All the years of pain had paid off and the art degree that hung on his wall wasn’t just a mediocre talking piece anymore. 

During the beginning of his introduction into the New York City art world, navigating the scene with sweating palms and a shutter in his lungs, he’d met you. 

It was his first big event. A small little art gallery in Astoria that somehow had been packed to the gills with spectators and aficionados. 

Steve had been in twill black pants and a loose white button down that showed his jutting collarbones. He’d fussed with the collar and how it lay all night. Anything to keep his idle hands busy. 

Somewhere in the night while anxiety spiked his blood and doubts filled his head about the reception of his work, he saw you. 

And his heart stopped. 

Or skipped or tremmored or palpated deep in his chest hollow chest. He couldn’t exactly remember, all he knew was his heart felt so strange and his gut clenched, and something told him that this moment was important. This seconds-long glance at a beautiful stranger was somehow going to change everything. 

A flute of champagne had been cradled in your hand while you looked thoughtful upon a large canvas on the wall. Your hair was swept up off your neck, and you wore a lace dress that hit you just above the knee. A lace dress that hit you above the knee and was completely see through, giving Steve and every person in the room a perfect view of your curves and your blush pink lingerie set underneath.

For a passing moment, Steve hated you. Because how dare you come here, dressed like that, and show up every piece of art in the room? How dare you prance around so smoothly and elegantly and look more ethereal and meaningful and striking, than anything Steve could think of creating?  

He stopped hating you the second you met his gaze. You had found him by chance in the crowd and smiled. Smiled, and had flicked your eyes up and down his form appreciatively, something that made the hair on the back of Steve's neck prickle. 

(You told him later, months down the line of being his, that you had known the second you locked eyes with his blue ones, that you knew you were going to fall in love with him)

Steve still didn’t know why you had chosen him, why your heart had decided to link with his own. Or why a woman like you, eccentric, beautiful, unique, and oh so unabashedly herself, wanted to be seen with him in the first place. 

He knew how people saw the two of you as you walked down the street. You, at least a head taller than him depending on your footwear and straight out of a magazine spread; and him, all angles and bones and old sport coats rolled at the sleeve to show his waifish wrists and thin fingers. 

You looked like staggered buildings next to each other, one old crumbling brick and the other sleek beautiful stone. 

But he was learning not to care. Because you love his height and how he gazes up at you lovingly. You love his nimble artist's fingers, and never let a minute go by where you didn’t tell him. You love his eyes and the slope of his hair in his face and his perfectly sculpted teeth and his kissable lips that framed them. You love everything he disliked about his appearance, and the deep affection you showed for all his edges was starting to make him like them too. 

You looked intimidating, but you were sweet and kind and expressed love freely and wholly. You were so angelic and sauve and had large opinions, that made it hard not to cower a bit when in your presence. But once someone got to know you, learned of your heart and compassion, they knew to bask in your light and now shrink from your fire. 

You had a great capacity for love. Especially for him (mostly for him). And Steve thanked the universe every day that you loved him the same way he loved you. 

But that didn’t mean you were perfect. It didn’t mean you don’t have flaws and frustrating nuances. It certainly didn’t mean you didn’t get on his nerves occasionally… and it didn’t mean you weren’t a fucking brat sometimes. 

“Do you need something?” Steve finally asks after another pop of your gum and a petulant sight. 

“Me?” You ask in faux naïveté.

“Yes, you.” 

“Oh, no. I’m just laying here.” You reply, not sounding convincing in the slightest as you stretch your arms over your head with a whiny moan. 

“Laying there sighing and snapping your gum….” He retorts, annoyance tinging his tone. 

“Can’t I just breathe and chew gum? Or should I hold my breath and choke?” You reply, removing your feet from the wall and rolling on your stomach to face your boyfriend. 

“Sweetheart, please. Not now.” Steve set his pencil down for a moment to massage the bridge of his nose, hoping to ward off a (Y/N) related headache. 

“What? I’m not doing anything.” You snap your gum again, obnoxiously. 

Steve sighs, swivelling toward you to give you a stern look. You just look at him with those stupid beautiful eyes, all wide and innocent as you blow a perfect pink bubble from your lips. 

“You’re not doing anything? So you aren’t huffing and puffing and snapping away to get my attention? Even if it’s to just bicker?” 

You smirk knowingly, “You look very sexy without a shirt on, baby.” 

“And you look sexy when you aren’t distracting me from work.” 

You purse your lips into a pout and drop your chin into the clouds of blankets below you, “You can’t see me with your back turned.” 

“Well, you always look sexy.” Steve says, but without the vigor or sweetness he usually does when he compliments you, as he turns back to his work. 

Wrong move, but Steve sort of already knows this. He would love to indulge you and give in to what you want, because he really loves appeasing you in each and every way. He would love to wrap you in his arms like he knew you wanted and kiss you breathless, but this commission was due in a few weeks, and he was getting paid a large sum of money for it. 

Steve begins to work once more, trying not to focus on your silent tantrum behind him.

It wasn’t until he heard the zip of your boots that he turns back around. 

Still dressed in your nightgown, now in a blazer and pair of boots, you were searching around the apartment for your purse. 

“(Y/N), come on, where are you going?” He slumps his shoulders as he watches you. 

“Out.” 

“Sweetheart...” Steve refrains from rolling his eyes the best he can.  

“No, it’s clear you're busy. So, I’ll leave you to your work.” You stick your nose up and away from him as you speak curtly. 

“So you’re just gonna leave because I’m doing something besides you?” 

His eyes sparkle as your movements falter for a moment. 

“I don’t need to answer that.” You said, slipping the tiny shoulder bag you’d found under a pile of clothes up your arm. 

“You’re being ridiculous. Stop pouting, (Y/N).” 

“That’s why I’m leaving, Steven. I want to pout in peace!” You throw over your shoulder as you stomp toward the door. 

“It’s Steven, now?” He counters. 

He had meant what he said, you always looked sexy, no matter what you did. Including being an angry little brat. So, sue him if he wanted to rile you up a bit. 

“Yes!” You whip around and place your hands on your hips.

“Well, Steven would love you to stay, sweetheart. I know I’m busy, but I like having you here.”

“Well, (Y/N) is sick of you ignoring her for days on end. She knows work is important but you’re neglecting her!” You gripe.

“If I could make money by hanging out with you, I would.” Steve says blasé, reclining back in his chair. 

You give a frustrated squeal and start for the door again. 

“I am not going to stand here and audition for your attention, Steven! I’m leaving.” 

You took longer than needed when you finally reached the door, gripping the knob and adjusting the strap of your bag, waiting for Steve to say something before you made your dramatic exit. Which he always did in these situations, because no matter how much of a pain you were in a moment, or how much he loved to vex you, he would walk over miles of broken glass just to see you smile.

“Sweetheart? Hey, I’m sorry. I really am. I know I’ve been busy. I need to learn how to delegate my time better.” 

You straighten your shoulders and turn around, pushing a stray piece of hair from your face, “Thank you. That’s all I’m asking.”

“It’s a reasonable request.” Steve adds, smiling wider as you slowly start to inch toward him again. 

“Well, I’m known for being reasonable.” 

Steve lets the comment slide, because he’s started to lure you back to him like the angry kitten that you were (you know, the ones who hiss and meow but purr so pretty when you win their trust and give them creme?)

“Then let’s be reasonable and compromise?” He asks as you near in his deep timbering voice.

“I’m listening.” You said, now pressed against his desk, flimsy silk pressing into the skin of your thigh as you lean over his art on the tabletop.

“Let me work an hour more, then we can do something you want.” He proposes. 

He already knew you’d say yes, but you ponder his request like you need too. You jut your knee out toward him, the slit in your nightie parting and reminding Steve you were wearing nothing underneath. He reaches out to wrap his fingers around your knee, tracing your buttery skin and smooth creases as you think. 

“Just an hour?” 

“You can time me.” 

A small smile starts to spread over your lips and you nod. 

“Yes?” 

“Yes, that works. Thank you, Stevie.” 

He internally beams at the return at your beloved nickname for him. 

You lean down to his level and press a sweet kiss to lips, short enough to express that you were taking the compromise seriously, but long enough to remind him to hurry up. 

As you pull away, Steve stops you with his thumb and forefinger on your chin.

“But give me the gum. It really was driving me insane.” 

You roll your eyes, but there is no anger or disrespect behind it. With two fingers you take the pink bubblegum from your mouth and place it gingerly in his outstretched palm. 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” You say, kissing his cheek sweetly. Bad mood dead and gone. 

Steve shakes his head good naturedly, and once more turns back to his work. He listens to you start to strip off your acquired outside layers, throwing your mark all over his place (something he adored).

“It’s no biggie anyways now that I know I get to taste something sweeter in just a measly hour.”

His cheeks heat up profusely and he grips his pencil a bit tighter. He can hear you cocooning yourself back in the layers of softness on his bed and all feels right again.

x

prompts are open! pls one at a time with bucky or steve (: 

(also obvi have to direct you to queen of brat readers @venusbarnes ‘ brat series) 

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers drabble #steve rogers prompt #pre serum steve #pre serum steve rogers #pre serum steve rogers x reader #pre serum steve x reader #roswrites

[fizzingwizard]

Alright alright alright digimon adventure: episode 21, go!!! Last week I was interested to see if the pretty vague ep 21 preview was gonna be a mostly dull fight type filler ep or if the reason for the vagueness was there was too much plotty stuff going on for them to reveal. It’s the latter, I’m happy to say!

It was really cool!! There was a lot of good stuff so YAY! Anything I write here will be a spoiler but let’s just say that T is a very important letter in the alphabet! multiple Ts, in fact!!

Cap of the day: my boy being AWESOME

Let’s get to it! under the cut as usual

Now last week’s episode was A LOT. We rescued Takeru who no one even knew needed rescuing, gained and then immediately lost the Holy Digimon, got him back in the form of a digi-egg, and then immediately lost THAT too. Honestly I get why it’s Chosen Children and not Chosen Adults - adults would be like “are you KIDDING me all this work with NO PAYOFF I am gonna SUE”

Patamon’s digi-egg has been abducted by this guy... Skullnightmon? It seems he was a Xros Wars character. I had to look him up because at first I tried “Scarlnightmon” because Idk I was thinking Scarlet Night??? like night of blood and death??? idk. and Google tried to autocorrect it to “Scranton.” Uh... yeah. Skullnightmon makes more sense because of the BIG ASS SKULL on his breasplate. -.-;

It occurs to me how little I know about any Digimon series other than Adventure X’D I mean, I’m not gonna do anything to change that, but.... yeah I’m gonna continue to mix up stuff like this. His loyal steed is Darkmaildramon.

Yamato, of course, is immediately like Protective Mode On.

So at first I was a bit worried that this ep was gonna just Move Things Along as usual and Yamato wasn’t going to react to his little bro randomly being in the digital world. Let alone in the clutches of pure evil up until just recently. When you’re caught up in battle it’s admittedly hard to find time to Talk about stuff but COME ON

Fortunately, thought we don’t get a lot of Talking, we do get a bit. Like this cute moment where Takeru tries to explain what happened and Yamato’s just like “We can talk later” and gives him this adorable head pat. Ok, fine. I can live with that. It’s better than nothing xP

They arrive at the creepy castle which Taichi recognizes as the place Ogremon directed them to. It looks very evil and in front of it is a giant equally evil moat.

They also find this sinkhole sort of thing which Takeru promptly rushes over to stand at the very edge.

Yamato: OMG kid I look away for ONE SECOND

le gasp! Takeru finds a shiny feather at the edge of the hole! It’s a sign of the holy digimon! We should go investigate!

Oops first we have to find this gross Garurumon knock off... Its name is Splashmon but I think it should be “MeltedCrayonGarurumon”

Splashmon is apparently also from Xros wars and can turn into liquid and take on the form of other Digimon... I don’t know if he’s always this shit at it though. Maybe being controlled by evil is the reason for all the meltyness because he looks pretty cool in his wikia:

rofl...

Splashmon showers them all with acid rain and Yamato protec baby bro :< *wibble*

He then carries him to safety like this. xP

Yamato: Takeru, hide!

Takeru: This bottomless pit that reeks of evil seems like an ideal hiding spot. Niichan will be so proud

No but seriously... looks like we don’t get cowardly, crybaby Takeru this season. The kids getting to y’know Be Human about stuff is a thing it looks like I’m going to continue to miss in this reboot. But on the other hand, I genuinely DO enjoy Takeru throwing his all into saving Angemon.

Skullnightmon sticks Angemon’s digi-egg here where it gets chained down by evil vines. Very evil. Also seems like overkill, I mean, it’s an egg, what’s it going to do, roll off the platform?

We then switch gears and rejoin the kids in the real world, where Koushirou has, apparently overnight, if not in the last five minutes, created an update for their digivices which enables them to always be in contact with their partner. I don’t really get the details but that appears to be the size of it. We also catch up with Mimi and Jou.

At first I thought this was a school, but no, IT’S MIMI’S HOUSE. She has a PERSONAL CHAUFFEUR. Like, 99 Adventure Mimi was well-off, that was especially clear in 02... but... WOWZA.

Mimi’s parents look as stupid as ever xD I love them. They’re joined by her grandpa. After having been gone for three days with no explanation, Mimi’s parents are just like “Don’t you want to take it easy at home today?” when she says she needs to go out. Mimi’s just like “I gotta do what I gotta do!” (ok she actually quotes her grandpa from back in her intro ep but) and leaves like nothing happened.

.... I think grandpa might be dead. He doesn’t move the whole scene. Doesn’t even change his expression. I guess his mouth is a bit more open but that could just be because rigor mortis hasn’t quite set in

Meanwhile in Jou’s (normal, average) apartment, we meet SHIN-NIISAN!!! He’s as much of a dick as ever. I love him. Jou’s parents were mad because 1) he was gone for three days, 2) he skipped cram school, 3) he lost his textbook. I think Shin’s basically like HECK yeah finally my little bro shows his cool side! So he decides to be an enabler. GOOD, seems like Jou needs someone to be on his side at home ;_;

Their Digimon partners are traveling in the interwebz like... this... -____-;

They end up tracking Calmaramon, who is indeed Calmaramon.

I remember from Frontier when Renamon evolved to Calmaramon everyone gave her SO MUCH GRIEF for not being sexy. Wasn’t there like this whole episode devoted to how beautiful Izumi’s evolutions were and then Calmara the Squid Woman shows up and everyone’s like “ewww gross yuck!!” And ok I know she’s evil here too. But guys I JUST THINK SQUID WOMAN IS WICKED AWESOME OKAY. Like that is a LOOK. Versace take notes.

Like can we get some body positivity??? There is NOTHING wrong with being half-squid. Zephyrmon is not better just because she wears lingerie! Bet she can beat everyone at the swim meet. Also tastes yummy fried or raw with soy sauce.

ok I’m done. I’m serious about loving Calmaramon though. I have so many Frontier issues I totally forgot about >_>;

*cough* so yeah Calmaramon and those little green Digimon virus things take control of some boat and Koushirou’s like Uh-Oh Danger Will Robinson. Piyomon tries to attack with Magical Fire and is surprised, for some reason, when it does not do much. They are very much outnumbered and Calmaramon is clearly a much higher level than them so WHY do they think child-level is gonna be enough??

So this is cool!! Koushirou appears to be learning to read digi-code! He sounds out Calmaramon’s name by himself. We still pretty much have the question of why Taichi could just read digi-code fluently (well, almost? he randomly couldn’t read everything at the fortress if memory serves) and Koushirou has to sound it out... will we get an answer to this or?? Like if it were Takeru or Hikari I’d just assume it’s their Magic Baby powers at work but it was never made clear if just Taichi can read like this or they all can, and now it seems like maybe they all can’t since Koushirou’s trying so hard here...

Meanwhile Takeru...

99 Yamato would never have taken his eyes off Takeru for so long lmao

though it makes more sense if this season’s Takeru is more independent which he seems to be

Splashmon turns out to be really tough to beat, because he’s lost his mind and therefore holds nothing back xP He crushes MetalGreymon and WereGarurumon to the ground, infecting them with miasma.

At this point I was disappointed that Taichi and Yamato were still so clear-headed... like when are you gonna worry about your partner dude?? He gets the Crest of Courage because he’s never felt fear in his life??????

But then, their next move fails and WereGarurumon de-evolves back to Gabumon, while MetalGreymon is still in Splashmon’s clutches. He proceeds to pretty much make MetalGreymon’s arm wither away...

And Taichi FINALLY looks worried. ABOUT TIME.

Takeru has made it to the bottom of the hole, where he is startled to find this giant eye. I would also fall right on my bottom if I suddenly came across a giant eye.

Giant eye seems interested in Takeru’s digivice, so Takeru politely lets him have a look. BLINGGGGGGG.

Giant Eye: Ow ow ow turn it down!!!

Takeru: Sorry it’s LED!!

Taichi runs to rescue MetalGreymon in the... most ineffectual way possible... I love him...

The miasma can even hurt humans, it appears. Even though he’s in pain, Taichi doesn’t give up, and we get to hear Yamato shriek “Taichi!” all scared and adorable-like.

Taichi passionately reminds MetalGreymon about what they’re fighting for and succeeds in motivating him to be less dead.

Taichi: GIMME A V DOT THE I CURLY C T O R Y VICTORY!! *CLAP CLAP* VICTORY!! *CLAP CLAP*

Yamato: Incredible... so this is the power of a Pep Talk...

Taichi’s Pep causes MetalGreymon’s arm to... fall off... but it’s ok because it sprouts a long wiggly band of light uhhhhhh which then turns into a Giant Gun. So all is well. because MetalGreymon didn’t already have enough guns

MetalGreymon succeeds in defeating Splashmon and we seem some purple crystal sort of thing disappear, my guess is that’s what was controlling him. Agumon falls from midair and Taichi catches him like this.

They cute. They also need a break. Well, Agumon needs a break, I honestly think Taichi doesn’t even have an Off button...

Just when you think things can’t get weirder... Giant Eye appears.

Takeru’s on top of him looking all cool! Till he immediately falls!

Yamato catches him somewhat more adroitly than Taichi caught Agumon xP

The eye belongs to ElDradimon!! I love “animals with worlds on their backs” so this is totally up my ally. My first guess about the eye was that it was gonna be one of the digital sovereigns but this is still pretty cool.

Sooooooo cooooooooool

Yamato doesn’t even lecture Takeru about going off on his own and not hiding like he was told. SO DIFFERENT CANNOT COMPUTE. But looks how happy Takeru is to be praised by his bro for helping ElDradimon. Awww.

I’ve got to now reevaluate how I think things will go down because I really expected Takeru to be something that drives a wedge between Yamato and Taichi. In the old days, Yamato was super protective but Taichi would let Takeru do whatever and Takeru got a little boy crush on him which fed into Yamato’s inferiority complex. But if Yamato’s not overprotective and Takeru is already capable on his own... New directions are good though. I won’t be sorry if they don’t rehash all that BUT I need it to be replaced with something else. Taichi can’t just always be serious, Yamato can’t just always be cool... I like the reboot but I am still on edge about the character stuff.

... Yeah so ElDradimon was mega cool and then... he opened up his VACANT head... bahahaha.... bahahahahahahahahahahaha

So what I really liked about this ep was what I saw as parallels drawn between Taichi and Takeru on the theme of “Do anything to help your partner.” Takeru can’t stop looking for Angemon’s egg, that’s why he goes into the hole after finding the feather. He might not know what’s doing but he’s still gonna do it. Taichi knows a bit more and he’s usually so calculating and strategic, but when MetalGreymon looked on the verge of defeat he threw caution to the wind and tried to save him himself. Okay, not the first time we’ve seen this, true, but it did seem to be the running theme of the episode.

I know I didn’t really talk about how apparently the kids can now update their partners with new powers/gadgets?? by believing in them enough... but y’know that just sounds like the sort of thing a kid’s show would do. I almost miss the card game from Tamers... it would be cool to see the kids have to think and strategically choose what they want to equip their partners with. That was part of the enticement of Tamers, where Adventure was more inexplicable magic, Tamers relied more on intent. Taichi is such a strategist (and of course there’s also freaking Koushirou) that it seems a waste to not involve the kids in the decision making more.

Next week’s ep preivew was a bit hard to follow but 1) the animation looks better than this week thank heaven and 2) it looks like fun. And we get more bamf Takeru! Woot. Can I still say woot in 2020? I can because of senior citizen privilege right?

#digimon adventure: #digimon adventure 2020 #digimon adventure reboot #digi spoilers #digimon #fizz watches digimon 2020

[365days365movies]

February 12, 2021: If Beale Street Could Talk (Review)

This one was tough emotionally...and a very good movie!

Fact of the matter is, this movie was not only topical, but also very well-made and acted. Makes me want to read James Baldwin’s novel one of these days, if I’m honest. 

This film, at its very core, is a film about young love. And it does that VERY well, I gotta say. It captures the emotions and benchmarks of relationships, but is able to effectively balance that with the environment and politics of the times. It’s a downright masterpiece on that front. Oh, and by the way: NO INFIDELITY!!! WHOOOOOOOOOO! Hopefully THAT trend continues. Anyway, lemme get into my full thoughts on this movie, in the Review! Recap is here and here, if you wanna take a look!

Review

Cast and Acting: 9/10

Right off the bat, KiKi Layne and Stephan James have perfect chemistry. I mean it, this might have set my bar for perfect chemistry in film that’s actually consummated. Their past, while largely unseen, carries a lot of weight, and you can feel that every time the interact on the screen. What I’m saying is, they’re cute together, and I ship them hard. Yeah, I just said that, sue me. Here’s the things, though...individually, they’re only OK. Yeah, sorry, neither of them get a big chance to shine alone, and when they do, the film does most of the acting for them. When I say that, I think back to the perfume counter scene. It’s not KiKi’s acting that sells it for me, it’s the environment, the setting, the situation. Sorry to say it...but I kind of get why they weren’t nominated for Best Actress and Actor. NOT THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD. THEY ARE GREAT. But they aren’t really stellar alone, is what I’m saying.

Most of the supporting cast is also fantastic, even if some of them don’t get nearly as much time. Teyonah Parris, whom I’ve been enjoying THOROUGHLY in WandaVision, does a great turn as Ernestine, while Colman Domingo and Michael Beach are great as the fathers, even if their plot line sort of drops off. Even Aunjanue Ellis is good in her brief appearance as Fonny’s mom, and Brian Tyree Henry’s monologue about prison, and Emily Rios’ about rape are...hauntingly good. Ah, but wait...I’m forgetting someone, aren’t I?

REGINA FUCKING KING EVERYBODY. This woman ABSOLUTELY deserved Best Supporting Actress, and was WITHOUT A SINGLE DOUBT the best actor in the film. My Lord, she was amazing, and I’m really happy that she’s finally been able to carve an illustrious career in the 2010s. Seriously, she’s been acting since the ‘90s, and I feel like she’s only come to prominence in the last 10 years or so. Which sucks, because I’ve known about her since WAY before that, and it’s really nice to see her in the spotlight. WHOO!

Plot and Writing: 10/10

Y’know, the plot was a legitimate surprise to me. I guess that, after this month, I’ve been expecting happy endings and all that. But this ending was...bittersweet, and not even really that. Which is by absolutely no means a bad thing, just to be clear. No, this film was a touching diatribe on young love’s intersection with an unfair society, while also serving as a look at racial politics in the past, and serving as a harsh lens on today’s world as well. Barry Jenkins is the one who adapted James Baldwin’s novel into the screenplay, and...yeah, it’s fantastic. Moving, insightful, affecting, hertbreaking, you name it.

Directing and Cinematography: 9/10

Barry Jenkins, man. I was going to watch his other film Moonlight this month, but I’m putting off for another month to make room for some other films. But this film LOOKS gorgeous. There’s too much to go into in terms of how many good shots there are here, but one of these scenes was good enough to win Regina King the Oscar. Which does bring something up, though. HOW DID THIS FILM GET SNUBBED SO HARD

Look, I liked Black Panther as much as the next guy, BUT IT WASN’T BETTER THAN THIS MOVIE. And yet, it got nominated for a Best Picture Oscar, and THIS MOVIE DIDN’T? Not just that, but it didn’t get nominated for Best Director OR Best Cinematography (by James Laxton)? The Oscars are BULLSHIT, full stop.

Production and Art Design: 8/10

But I will say, this film wasn’t as good as Black Panther in Production and Art Design, but that’s because those categories were basically perfect in Black Panther. I tell you, if that movie had NOTHING ELSE going for it (and it did, hello Eric Killmonger), it had the look. But, that said, Beale Street still deserved a nomination at least! I mean, this film looks fantastic, no complaints. Well...one complaint. It really wasn’t very ‘70s to me. It was, sure, but it could’ve passed for other time periods easily. Definitely very good...but not perfect.

Music and Editing: 9/10

Fun fact! Nicholas Britell was brought on to this project after previously working on Moonlight with Barry Jenkins. This score took a lot of tinkering, but was meant to revolve around the ideals of love. In fact, some of the pieces are named after the Greek forms of love. You know, philia, agape, etc.? Neat, right? Anyway, the work shows, as not only did it get nominated for Best Original Score (which it lost to...Black PantherCOMEON), but it’s also quite an impactful score on its own. While it’s nt soundtrack-worth for me, it’s still extremely memorable, and I’d recognize it upon hearing it. So, yeah, nice one, Britell!

90%! And it’s well-deserved.

This was a beautiful movie, and it really did move me. I mean, it’s not like it’s changed my opinions about anything; in fact, it’s really just strengthened them, but it’s still a gorgeous movie. And outside of the sociopolitical folderol, this film has a gorgeous portrait of love that I can’t ignore, and won’t forget for a while. Fantastic.

And as for period romances...let’s take a break, huh? Let’s go for something set while the film was made, but also along the lines of a traditional love story. We are getting close to Valentine’s after all.

February 13, 2021: Before Sunrise (1995)

#if beale street could talk #barry jenkins #kiki layne #stephan james #regina king #teyonah parris #colman domingo #brian tyree henry #ed skrein #ichael beach #emily rios #aunjanue ellis #romance february #user365 #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year #supernovass #userrobin #doyouevenfilm #batwan #useraina

[judediangelo75]

Under the Celestial Lights

Hi everyone! First I would like to thank you guys for my first post for the TalbottxMC fandom. I appreciate it a lot. So this is my second contribution, this time covering the Celestial Ball. 

As you all already know, Talbott is not option (tragic I know) so this is gonna be a hint of a love triangle situation. Playing the game, I did go with Andre because I found him to be rather sweet (and cute). It was either him or Barnaby, sue me. But I pick our favorite style wizard.

I would entertain my MC liking Andre as a bit, but her endgame is Talbott. And she feels terrible for having to choose and breaking someone’s heart in that process. She doesn’t like to hurt anyone she considers a good friend.

Also this is featuring my best friend in this story, we’re co-writing our Hogwarts experience from the game.

So here it is, my version of the Celestial Ball featuring our favorite bird boy, Talbott Winger. Hope you all like it!

-------------------------------

(Talbott Winger)

The Celestial Ball.

Something that caused a stir in the student population at Hogwarts. Where everyone seems to be anxious on what they will wear and who their guest will be as they'll dance the night away.

Not my scene.

Or so I thought before I saw her.

On Andre's arm was my secret crush. Judith Harris.

If I thought she looked beautiful before, she was absolutely stunning now...

If I were in my human form, I would most definitely be blushing. The dress seem to be made just to fit her and her alone. Red and gold complimenting her skin and eyes. Even the slit of the dress that showed off her leg did funny things to me. Her dark brown hair styled in curls flowing around her shoulders and upper back. Her gold eyes were outlined in black, making her eyes sharp and enticing. The dark brown, nearly black, shadow added depth to her eyes. Her lips looked soft and a bit shiny.

Andre looked like he was walking on air, a hint of a blush can found on his cheeks paired with the biggest smile on his face. He gazed at Judith with a soft lovesick expression.

'Lucky bloke...' I mentally huffed as I shifted in my little corner by the windows. I didn't even plan on going to the Ball but after a certain conversation with Judith early this morning.

---------

"Hey Talbott..." I glanced at the Hufflepuff sitting next to me. After breakfast in the Great Hall, Judith decided to join me in my hiding spot in the Courtyard.

"Yes, Judith," I asked. On the way here, she seemed to thinking about something.

"I was wondering... you plan on going to the Ball?" I rolled my eyes.

"I see no real point to go. Sure, there are people I know that'll be there, but it's not like they're looking to spend time with the weird looking loner. Plus, it's not my scene to begin with," I shrugged. I didn't notice a crestfallen expression on Judith's face.

"O-Oh... Just wondering..." I turned to the Hufflepuff who was facing the opposite direction.

"I'm going. I'm sure it'll be fun..." I arched at brow.

"You going with a guest?"

"No one asked me. I guess I'm going to be third wheeling Brooke and Penny. No wizard would want me as their guest..." I frowned. I would want her to be my guest. I opened my mouth to say something but the girl abruptly stood up.

"I got to go, I'm pretty sure getting ready for the Ball will take forever. Might as well and get a head start. I'll... I'll see you around, Talbott..." were her final words before walking back into the castle. I was left alone in the quiet Courtyard, feeling like I ruined something...

-----------

Turns out Judith did find a guest, but her eyes didn't hold it's usual spark. Whenever she was alone, I notice the look on her face. Her eyes were half lidded, it almost made her eyes enticing. But by closer inspection, her eyes looked slightly clouded and dazed. Like she wasn't truly present. She would look outside, her expression wistful before morphing to a smile when one of her friends or Andre approach her. But I know what I saw.

A look I've seen in our long classes. A look that reads she rather be somewhere else.

Or maybe in this case, with someone else...

"Heyyyyyy Talbott~" I blinked as I turned to Brooke, who was now casually leaning against the windowsill. She looked amazing, I wouldn't be surprised if she was the master mind behind her and her best friend's outfits. But that's not what I wondering about.

Just how did she see me and why is she talking to me...

"So I noticed you here all by your lonesome so I decided to come keep you company with awhile." I detect a bit of lying in that statement. I blinked at her unimpressed.

"Hey! What's with that look? I can't check up on one of my friends?" I don't know, can you? I gave her a head tilt as answer. She rolled my eyes.

"Why can I tell that you're being sarcastic with me right now?" Maybe because I am. She sighed, exasperated.

"Alright, alright. So I have a bit of an ulterior motive here, but it's nothing bad. I promise!" If I could raise a brow at her, I would. I simply sat there, waiting for her to continue.

"So I know that you fucked up, but I'm here to help you..." I flapped my wings, slightly bewildered. What was that suppose to mean? The girl rolled her eyes.

"I promised I wouldn't interfere too much but I can push you in the right direction..." I still not following completely...

"The Ball will be over soon and I wouldn't stand to see my best friend sulk any longer! So here's the plan: I gonna convince Judith to help me with something and I separate her from Andre for little while. You're gonna be hiding out in the Courtyard. While Judith is "helping" me, I gonna go back to the Great Hall and you'll make your grand entrance. I think a dance with you will make her night ten times better. You got all that, bird boy?" I simply turned around and flew out of the open window behind me.

I guess a quick stop to my room wouldn't hurt...

------------------------

(Judith Harris)

I'm ready to just crash in my bed right now. I'm over it.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be at the Celestial Ball. After all this timing planning, it great to see that it was all worth it. Though one detail that just made me see dim colors.

I wasn't with the person I wanted to go with.

I have no clue where I possibly got the idea that Talbott would be interested in me and would go to the Ball with me. Once I heard that he wasn't going, I just mentally gave up and walked away before I could make a bigger fool of myself. I was internally wallowing in my self pity when I unknowingly bumped into Andre.

The boy seem anxious for whatever reason. I softly asked the style wizard if everything was okay. And that's when he shyly asked me if I was going to the Ball with anyone. Still kinda down about how the situation played out with Talbott, I told the stylish Ravenclaw no. Perking up a bit, he asked if I would like to go with him.

The silence that ensued was deafening. I meant what I said that I doubt any wizard would consider asking me to be their guest to the Ball. Look at the universe proving me wrong and shit. I shyly accepted Andre's offer. We're going as friends.

The universe was partially laughing at me.

I was enjoying my time with Andre, don't get me wrong. He's the definition of a gentleman. Making sure that I was okay, getting me drinks or little snacks if I needed it, showering me in compliments. Everything.

And I admit, he looked rather handsome tonight. The lights bringing out a shine in those brown eyes that never seem to leave me. Even when I was in his arms for a particular slow dance, he looked down at me with a fond expression. The way his hand was holding my own and the way its twin held by the curve of my waist was rather... intimate. The way he spoke is low hush tones as we quietly spoke during our dance felt private. For the life of me, I couldn't stop blushing because of how being that close to him made me feel. The dance was rather sweet but I knew my heart wasn't in it, which made me feel a bit guilty.

His arms weren't the ones I wanted to be in.

His brown eyes weren't the eyes I wanted looking at me with adoration and shy affection.

Andre wasn't the one I wanted to be with.

I consider him to be a good friend, an amazing mate at that. But that's as far as I'll ever see him.

I let out a soft sigh, gazing out one of the windows of the Great Hall. I wonder how Talbott is spending his night. I felt someone grab my hand, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"I brought you some more punch, Judith," Andre said, holding a goblet in his other hand. I gave him a small smile.

"Thank you, Andre..." Taking the goblet, I drank the cool beverage. Shit, I need it. With trying to help Brooke with her chaotic love life and making sure a jealous Penny doesn't rip Diego a new one, I deserve a small breather. Especially when I had to steal Diego away temporarily for a dance. Diego was a hint to overzealous about this and didn't hesitate to sweep me across the dance floor. Just as I was regretting my decisions in life when Diego talked about a possible "date", Brooke stepped in and saved my ass. I was surprised I was able to dart away so quickly in heels.

Needless to say, I need a little something to relax me.

"Heyyyyy Judith~" Oh for crying out loud, what now? I side eyed my best friend as she gave me a guileless smile.

"What did you do this time," I asked. Brooke looked at me slightly offended.

"Psh, me?! I didn't do any-" I gave her a pointed look. She had the decency to look embarrassed.

"It's nothing bad, I was wondering if you can help me find my earring..." Looking closer, I noticed that one of her clip on dragon earrings was indeed missing.

"How the heck did you manage to lose it," I asked, confused.

"I went to the Courtyard to get some air because it was getting hot in here and it must've fallen off my ear." I raised a brow.

"Wouldn't you have felt it come off? Plus, isn't it metal? So you would've heard it hit the ground," I pointed out.

"I was wondering around and was lost in my thoughts, Judith. You know I wouldn't be paying attention like that," she said with an eye roll.

"But you should've been able to find it, you do have sharp eyesight thanks to your glasses," I hinted. The girl was an avian Animagus. She should have ridiculously good eyesight.

"I must've been so much in a panic looking for it, I gonna need a second pair of eyes."

"But-"

"Oh my gosh, Judith. Are you gonna help me or not?!" I sighed and nodded to my best friend. I turned to Andre, who was smirking down at me.

"The Sorting Hat certainly was right about you having the qualities to be a Ravenclaw, Judith," he said. I rolled my eyes and let out a soft chuckle.

"But I'm not. I just tend to think about certain things more. I'll be back later..." Andre nodded, taking my hand and kissing the back of it. I was a little stunned, even as Brooke quickly dragged me to the Courtyard.

Oh Andre, why must you make this difficult?

"I'm gonna look at this side of the Courtyard and you'll look over there? Alright," Brooke said as she walked over to one end of the Courtyard. I rolled my eyes. Okay, I guess. I casted Lumos and began to search for the earring. After awhile, I came up with nothing.

"Brooke, I can't find the damn thing, you sure you dropped it out here?"

"Hello Judith..." ...that's not Brooke...

I slowly turned to find myself looking into red eyes. I felt my heart stall in my chest for a few moments.

"T-Talbott?! What are you doing here," I asked, my face felt like it was burning. The quiet Ravenclaw boy sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, looking slightly unsure of himself.

"I-I... um... I'm actually here to see you..."

"R-really," I asked shyly. Sugar Honey Ice Tea, is this really happening right now? Talbott stepped closer and held my right hand, tying something around my wrist. I looked closer and blushed.

A red camellia with a gold ribbon...

You're a flame in my heart...

Do. Not. Faint.

"I know I said I didn't want to go to the Ball, b-but... I was wondering if you're willing to spare me a dance," he whispered. I looked into his eyes. His red eyes screamed his fear... but whispered his hope. My heart was jack hammering against my ribcage as I made my decision.

"I-I... I would love to dance with you..." Talbott gave me a small smile, relief washing over his features. That's when I took a moment to study him. Surprisingly, he wasn't in his class robes. His usual black slacks and dress shoes were present, but a red short sleeve dress shirt with gold tribal designs on his right side took the place of his usual vest and robe.

Has he always been this handsome?

Stupid question, yes he has been. Dear Gods, help me...

His hand slipped into my own as he led me to the middle of Courtyard. I felt my heart race as he paused to look at me. I suddenly became self conscious.

"W-what? Is there something on my face," I asked shyly. Talbott shook his head and let out a shaky sigh.

"N-no... I just... you look stunning tonight, Judith... I almost can't believe that you agreed to do this with me..." Mind if I swoon right now?

"T-thank you, Talbott... and if I can be honest right now..." I took a deep breath, my heart just threatening to make me pass out right now. Talbott's red eyes staring into my own.

"I-I-I... I actually wanted to go to the Ball with you," I confessed. Talbott froze, for a second I thought he forget to breathe. He let out a low chuckle and dropped his head.

"No wonder she said I fucked up... because I did," he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair. I blushed a bit at the sight of him looking slightly disheveled. But I picked up on what he said and mentally slapped my forehead.

Brooke...

As much as I wanna find her and shake her stupid...

She did give me an opportunity...

I reached up, taking the Ravenclaw's face in between my hands so he could look at me.

"Hey, that doesn't matter right now. We're here, aren't we? So let's make the most of it," I whispered. Talbott bit his lip before nodding. One hand found the small of my back while it's twin held my right hand. I rested my remaining hand on his shoulder, stepping closer.

Why does this feel so familiar...

"There isn't any real music for us to dance to," I pointed out. The boy smiled at me.

"I know a song... from my childhood... something my parents use to dance to. I'll share with you one day, but for right now, do you trust me," he asked, looking slightly unsure of himself. I squeezed his hand.

"I trust you, Talbott..." That was all he needed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7JXLczaxJs

Talbott led the dance. It was surprisingly slow in the beginning but picking up speed and fluidity as the song played in Talbott's head. Even more surprisingly, how I was able to keep up with him and never heard the melody. I could only imagine seeing Talbott as a little boy, sitting and watching his parents dance the same way he is now...

With me, of all people...

I snapped out of my thoughts as I felt him release my hand in favor of the holding the curve of my waist. I instinctively gripped both his shoulders and he picked me and spun me around. I couldn't help the carefree laughter that escaped me. The warmth the bubbled within my heart spread throughout my body as I looked down at him. This moment...

His eyes were shining bright under the moon light, shadowed by his dark lashes. His full lips spread into a small smile, but something about this smile was different.

It held a level of warmth and sincerity.

Fondness and affection.

Shyness and caution.

His expression spoke of emotion I wouldn't dare to name aloud. Talbott has been alone for a good portion of his life, for him to lo...

Me?

I didn't dare put any hope on it, in case I was wrong. I don't wish to be on the receiving end of a broken heart. I've seen it happened to Brooke, and I don't think I ready to face such a thing myself.

Talbott set me down, resuming our initial position and continuing our dance.

"I've never known you to be playful, Talbott," I chuckled as gazed into those captivating red eyes. He smirked at me.

"There are many things you don't know about me, Judith," he said, spinning me under his arm. I let out a laugh.

"'Tis true, Mr. Winger. You are a Keeper of Secrets, everything hidden away under an cold lock," I teased as I found myself back in his arms. The hand on my back pressed me closer to him and for a split second I almost forgot how to breathe.

"You may be on to something, Miss Harris... maybe you hold the key to that lock..." I-

I didn't get the chance to reply as Talbott braced his arm around me, dipping me with surprising grace. Time seem to slow down as he pulled me back up, both of us spinning around with grace and poise. We slowed to a stop. I felt him release my hand to find my waist yet again, pulling me closer. Both my hands pressed against his chest, leaning into him. Neither of us spoke, simply taking in the moment. Our faces were surprisingly close, our eyes half lid as we silently stared at each other.

Red and gold...

I took a deep breath, the scent of his cologne, which reminds the crisp morning air in the forest. My eyes fluttered dainty as I felt my knees weaken. Talbott's grip tighten on me, keeping me upright.

"Talbott..." came my breathless whisper.

"Yes, Judith," he whispered back. I don't know what came over me. Maybe because of the adrenaline from our dance. Maybe it was because of the comforting scent of his cologne that was just so him. Maybe it's because of how I'm noticing how dashingly handsome the loner Ravenclaw boy was, especially until the mystical moonlight.

Maybe it's because I like him more than I'm willing to admit at this current point in time...

I leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss on his cheek. I heard his breath hitch but he didn't push me away. I let myself to linger for a few moments, longer than necessary. I didn't want to part with him so soon, but I knew I had to go back to the Ball and Andre...

I pulled away, giving the blushing boy a smile.

"Thank you for the dance, Talbott... you made my night..." Talbott returned the smile.

"Anything for you, Judith. I know you have to go back but..." he took one of my right hand, kissing my knuckles while he looked into my eyes.

"Goodnight, little bird. Sweet dreams," he said softly. If he keeps this up, I'm gonna swoon for real...

"Goodnight, Talbott. Sweet dreams," I softly replied. I slowly began to walk away, our hands lingering until I was too far away to hold on anymore. As I approached the entrance of the castle, I glanced over my shoulder. The aloof Ravenclaw graced me with one last smile before transforming into his massive Golden Eagle and taking off. I sighed, gazing at the flower around my wrist before holding it close over my heart.

What a night under the Celestial Lights...

#andre egwu #talbott winger #andre x mc #talbott x jacob's sibling #talbott x mc #hphm talbott #hphm andre #hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mc #judith harris