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haphazardlyannotated · 9 months

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So I was thinking about how Steven, Connie and Stevonnie all have a duet with one of the main Crystal Gems and I realised how masterfully these songs are deployed to tell us things about them.

First of all, On The Run for Steven and Amethyst.

Amethyst is the Crystal Gem who relates the most to Steven's experiences and vice versa. They're both the 'juniors' in their household, they've both been struggling with being respected by the older Crystal Gems for a while now, and though Amethyst is very much Steven's guardian when it comes down to it, she's also Steven's peer in a way that Garnet and Pearl just aren't even when they try to include Steven.

And now this song sets them up as parallels in other contexts, too. They're both from earth! They both don't wholly belong in one category (Steven as a half gem, half human, Amethyst as a Crystal Gem who never fought in the rebellion and whose existence runs against the Crystal Gems' original wishes for Earth), and as we are about to learn, they both came into existence at the cost of other life and might harbour guilt about it, even though they had literally no say in this.

And then later on they continue to be parallels, especially in season 3 (though they share the child of divorce energy during the Sardonyx Arc). They both compare themselves to impossible standards of what they 'should' be (Steven to the idea of Rose, Amethyst to Jasper) and it is their recognition of their own struggles in each other that allows them to at least partially overcome them. No wonder Smoky Quartz is Steven's first fusion with another gem!

Next up: Do It For Her, sung by Pearl and Connie.

Speaking of parallels! It's pretty obvious watching the episode that Pearl is spending some time in projection city regarding absolute devotion to a beloved, if not revered partner, but she might actually be closer to the truth in some respects than she realises.

Remember Lion 2: The Movie? When Connie said that she didn't understand why Steven would hang out with someone as normal as her? Doesn't this remind us of someone else who feels like she's objectively inferior to a special (in several ways) someone? Someone who stepped out of the predetermined role she was supposed to fill to join her loved one on their dangerous path? Who lived a double life to avoid retribution from controlling authority figures? Couldn't say.

Also, they're both the knowledgable planner to their all loving goofball partner.

With all of this, I think Do It For Her both draws parallels between Pearl and Connie as well as Pearlrose and Connverse, and shows us how the example of Pearl and Rose's unresolved dysfunction could stop Steven and Connie from falling into the same trap before it was too late. I think seeing Pearl demonstrate the end of the road they were beginning to walk was what enabled Steven to step in before they got to Pearlrose's point, where Pearl was to deep in her self sacrificing mindset for Rose to reach her.

And finally, Here Comes A Thought for Garnet and Stevonnie.

First of all, obviously, Garnet and Stevonnie as an embodiment of the love and harmony between Ruby and Sapphire and Steven and Connie respectively.

It also draws parallels between Ruby and Connie and Steven and Sapphire though. (I saw a great meta about that in my lurking days, which I will link here if someone could kindly direct me to it). Sapphire and Steven as people who would rather bury negative feelings, like Sapphire tries to in Keystone Motel and Steven in... the entirety of suf to name just the most prominent one. Which of course only leads to more problems in the long run, because they haven't processed the feelings at all.

On the other hand, the comparison with Ruby draws attention to a trait of Connie's we maybe wouldn't have noticed otherwise: She is, for the lack of a better term, much more confrontational about things that make her unhappy. Just look at The New Crystal Gems.

Also, letting Ruby and Sapphire demonstrate their conflict resolution for Steven and Connie gives us an insight into what goes into keeping Garnet together through everything. Love takes work indeed. It's also worth pointing out that Connverse have been paralleled with both Pearlrose, Rupphire and (a little bit in We Need To Talk) Gregrose this way.

This show has so many layers, I swear, I'll be on my deathbed and I'll still find new nuances to write an essay about. Well done, Crewniverse.

#su #steven universe #crystal gems #su garnet #su amethyst #su pearl #su steven #connie maheswaran #stevonnie #su ruby #su sapphire #pearlrose #connverse #rupphire #meta #there's probably more but i'm tired and my brain is turning into cream cheese despite my vegan diet #so you get this #cheers!

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lotusthewriter · 2 years

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Somebody who deserved it

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: G

Relationships: Lars & Steven, Steven & Everyone

Characters: Lars Barriga, Steven Quartz Universe; MINOR/CAMEOS - Connie Maheswaran, the Crystal Gems, the Diamonds, Spinel, Greg Universe

Summary: In which Lars is present when Steven turns into a monster.

Word count: 2.673

AO3 / Fanfiction

A/N: What I wanted from SUF, but they failed me, so I wrote this to cope.

Most of this is basically a novelization of I Am My Monster but in Lars’ POV, so I hope it’s not boring.

Beach City has seen its fair share of disasters, mostly thanks to gem stuff. There have been at least three alien invasions, one worse than the other, but thankfully no one ever got hurt. The citizens at this point know what to do in dire times.

So, it shouldn’t be a surprise when a thud shakes the ground violently, scaring Lars out of his almost nap at Spacetries. He and Blue Lace look at each other, only for another one, worse than the previous, to shake everything again. That’s when they rush outside, like everyone else in town, until…

There’s a giant pink monster at the beach, and it roars. Others have already run off, and so Lars and Blue Lace follow them, gathering anyone else who’s paralyzed with fear. In the meantime, Lars has many questions in his head. Why the hell is there a freaking pink kaiju here? Where did it come from? He knows it’s likely gem stuff, because what isn’t, but how did a monster appear out of warning?

They’re already nearing the highway, fearing for the monster to attack the town in giant kaiju movie style, when Lars hears four paws hitting the ground, and a young voice guiding people. He recognizes Connie riding Lion, and so he rushes to her, as she possibly knows what’s happening.

“Connie!”

“Lars! You’ve got to get out of here, it’s too dangerous!”

“What the heck is that thing?!” Lars points at the monster, which still seems to be far away despite her warnings.

“That—” she hesitates, though, and the look on her face becomes tragic. “… That’s Steven.”

Lars’ stomach drops. “What?”

Even from far away, he can see the monster destroying the hill at the beach. Something about its face… the eyes and the nose…

Oh, god, that really is Steven.

The millions of questions in his head only get worse. The last time Lars saw Steven was at the Graduation, after he told him he was still going to think better on his return to space. Steven never came to visit him at Spacetries, only to retrieve some strange cake with “Together Forever” in it when Lars wasn’t even there. Lars was also… kind of unsure whether he should talk to him after he got so upset. He didn’t want to force Steven to do anything he didn’t want to.

And now he sees how this was a mistake.

Steven has become a monster, likely… corrupted. Lars doesn’t know much about corruption, but he sees Blue Lace’s horns, her scars, and he could tell it must’ve been a painful experience. A state where you’re blinded by fear, by confusion, by trauma…

This must be how his friend is feeling right now.

He can’t let this happen again.

“Lars, where are you going?!”

The pink boy ignores Connie as he runs back to the beach with all his might. He realizes that, after becoming pink, his strength has practically become inhuman. Lars concentrates, focuses, then he lets out a yell that transforms in a white portal. He’s practiced it enough with Lion and would use it as a means of delivery, so he arrives at the beach in no time. He already finds the Crystal Gems and Mr. Universe there, while Steven is being kept in the ocean by water chains.

“Lars?” They all said in unison.

“I’m here! Connie told me that’s Steven!” He explains. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“… we don’t know,” Pearl answers. “He won’t listen to us.”

“We need to reach him, somehow, and bring out his humanity,” Garnet speaks up.

Amethyst sighs exasperatedly. “You know who would be great at that?”

Everyone asks, “Who?”

But she only replies, “STEVEN!”

Before they can even come up with anything, something seems to come from above, as well as new voices.

“Yoo-hoo! Steven!”

“Is this a bad time?”

It’s… the giant Diamond ship he saw two years ago, when he arrived back home. What the hell are they doing here now?

“You gotta be kidding me,” Amethyst mutters.

The Elastigirl gem comes out of the ship with one of Steven’s sandals, only to be horrified by the monster far away. Then the rest of the Diamonds come along to question what it is.

“That thing is Steven,” Garnet tells them.

The four gems react badly, of course. They all bring out questions, but no one has any answers.

“Never mind that, we have to change him back.”

“Leave it to me,” Yellow Diamond says, preparing her powers.

Yellow uses… lightning or something at Steven, and it does seem to decrease the size of his head, but he roars, and it doesn’t work.

“He’s resisting. Maybe he needs to feel better first,” Blue speaks up. “I can help with that.”

She throws a cloud at him (Lars really wonders what that’s supposed to do), but it backfires, and it hits Yellow and the pink gem on her shoulder. They both start laughing.

“Wow! Your new power didn’t work, either!” She says while in the middle of strained laughter.

Well, the last one to try is White.

“If I connect with him and he speaks through me, maybe we'll understand what he's going through. Now then.” She’s much closer to him now, and Lars fears for the worst. “Do you hear me, Steven?” Suddenly… disco lights seem to come out of her gem. “Just relax and let me in.”

The monster roars, and White seems to reach out… only for her to fall backwards, though Blue and Yellow catch her before she gets hurt.

“That’s not Steven anymore!” White exclaims, terrified.

If that isn’t bad enough, Steven seems to break free from Lapis’ powers. She tries, except… his horns and his eyes are bright, like he’s charging up, and then he lets out a tremendous roar, which pushes everyone, even the Diamonds, back. The Diamond ship falls to the ground as well. They’re all weak, unable to stand up. Lars can only look up, his vision blurry, sensing Steven approaching… they’re doomed.

… but then…

Something comes out of the sea, something bright. It’s like… a giant arm?

As Lars is back to his senses, he realizes the big arm stops Steven from attacking. With a lot of struggle.

According to Amethyst, that sounds like the “Cluster”. Lars doesn’t have time to ask them what that thing is, because at least it’s helping them not get destroyed.

“Deep inside this… monster,” Pearl speaks, “Steven must be in there, so angry.”

“I knew something was going on, I- why didn’t I do something?!”

He realizes Garnet is gone since the two gems that form her are replacing her. And they’re both crying.

“If we don't get through to him, he'll stay like this forever!” One of them says, hopeless.

In the meantime, Mr. Universe is taking steps back, horrified.

“Dude! You should get outta here before you get hurt!” Amethyst orders him.

“NO!” The man puts his foot down. “Every time Gem stuff happens, I run the other way! This is my son! And he's right to be angry because I didn't protect him!”

“You didn’t protect him from us!” Blue Diamond cries. “He’s like this because of us!”

Yellow also tears up, “We’re the source of Steven’s suffering!”

Then, the elastic gem cries and blows her nose, also blaming herself. And White joins in, telling her that it’s her own fault, not the other’s. But the pink one insists, and they…

They’re really doing this.

They’re really pitying themselves.

These pathetic, thousand-year-old overlords are feeling sorry for themselves when there’s an angry and traumatized monster needing their help right in front of them.

“… Are you SERIOUS?!” Lars blurts out. Everyone looks at him. “What, is this a goddamn sob competition?!”

“But it’s true, I hurt him—” White tries to argue as she cries miserably, but he’s had none of it.

“Uh, yeah, of course you did! But you’re not doing ANYTHING to help! Steven has turned into a monster and yet all you’re doing instead is a freaking pity party!”

“He’s right!” A voice calls out from the distance.

It’s Connie, and she arrives at the beach with Lion.

“Yes, you hurt him, but this isn't the time to make this all about you! That is not helping!”

Ironically, as she makes an entire speech to a hopeless crowd, the cloudy sky seems to clear out, and the sun shines again.

“… We all had Steven when we needed him, but the only person who's never had Steven is Steven! He's always been there for us, so…” she sighs, “How can we be there for him now?!”

It's so moving, that Garnet fuses again. “I know how.”

Right after that, the giant Steven overpowers the Cluster, and he’s rushing all the way back to them.

Garnet yells, “Okay! No time to waste!” She then gives orders to the rest of the group. Everyone is now focused, no longer crying and wallowing down in self-pity.

“It’s time to show Steven… some love.”

Lapis flies towards him and stops him with a giant wave. As he’s distracted, everyone runs to the sea. They all yell out his name, and Garnet, now bigger than everyone, is the first to jump towards Steven to hold him back. She’s… hugging him. Steven struggles, roars, tries to reject it…

“Steven, when I fell apart, you were there for me,” Garnet says calmly. “I want to be there for you now. I’m here, Steven. I’m here.”

And then… Steven stops trying to break free. His face softens.

So, everyone else hugs Steven, in their own ways, in their own sizes. Lars is able not to fall, but if anything, he’s slightly above Garnet.

They all say words of encouragement.

“I'm here, Schtuball! Whatever you need, I'll make it happen! You hear me?!”

“STEVEN! You never gave up on me for some reason I don't understand! I'LL DO THE SAME FOR YOU!”

“I know you feel bad! Believe me, I get it! Sometimes it feels like you're never gonna like yourself but… it’s possible, man!”

“Steven, I know how awful it feels to keep a part of yourself secret! You shouldn't have to hide anything from me!”

Lars starts tearing up, too, remembering how much Steven helped him this whole time. If it weren’t for him, Lars wouldn’t have opened his bakery, he wouldn’t have made friends, or even stand up for others. He wouldn’t be here at all.

“Steven…” he sniffs, and raises his voice, “I know how it feels to be scared… but it’s okay! It’s okay to be afraid! And whether or not I’m just a corner away or light years from here, I’ll be here for you no matter what! Us Off Colors stick together!”

If he’s not hearing things, Steven might even… try saying Lars’ name. That makes the latter hold onto him tighter, and cry against his body.

Somewhere, he hears Lion teleport and Connie yell. It’s probably her turn to speak. Whatever she says, Lars can’t hear since it’s likely just for Steven.

That’s the turning point for Steven.

Lars hears him cry, as giant teardrops fall on the ocean. Nobody says anything else. They just let him.

Suddenly…

Everything goes white.

It’s all back to normal rather quickly.

There weren’t any casualties or huge damage to the town this time. Everyone was back home, but of course, with many questions. Lars gets a few, including from Sadie, who was back in town after her tour with Shep had been interrupted, and from the Cool Kids. He doesn’t give many details to them, knowing it’s best to keep the privacy, but he does let them know everything will be cleared out soon.

Lars has closed the shop a little early today, and he’s carrying with him a box of pastries. It ranges from cupcakes to cookies, as well as a chocolate bar to make hot chocolate out of it. He makes his way to the now repaired beach house, greeting the gems and Mr. Universe at the living room. They seem well, though quiet and concerned. At least they’re not desperate anymore.

Amethyst eats some of the things he brought, but Pearl slaps her hand at some point to leave the rest for Steven. Speaking of which, he’s not around them, and Lars asks if he’s upstairs. They seem apprehensive.

“He’s… still resting,” Pearl replies.

“But I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you,” Mr. Universe reassures him. “We’ll be right here if you need, okay?”

Lars smiles, “Okay.”

He looks up, realizing the room upstairs is dark. Lars hasn’t seen Steven since the monster incident, and he’s not entirely sure if he’ll be glad to see him… but Lars exhales and goes for it.

He arrives at the room, almost expecting Steven to be asleep, but the boy is turned right to the entrance, his eyes tired but wide open, curious. Lars smiles at him.

“Hey, buddy,” he whispers. “I brought some stuff for you. Including my brand-new hot chocolate.”

Steven stands so he’s sitting on the bed, and he scoots to give Lars space. The latter places the box of pastries on his bedside table, and so he sits next to the other boy. Steven looks like he’s slept for several days straight.

“How are you doing?” Lars asks him.

“Hmm. Tired.”

“I can tell.”

“The only thing I’ve been up to is sleeping.”

“I don’t blame you. You deserve rest after everything.”

Steven doesn’t seem convinced of that. He looks down, sad.

“A-Are you…” he sniffs, immediately rubbing his eyes like he’s afraid to cry. “Are you still going to space?”

Lars isn’t surprised to hear the question.

“… nah,” the pink boy shrugs. “I think I’ll stick around for some time.”

Steven’s lip starts quivering.

“I-I’m sorry,” he breaks. “I didn’t mean to get in the way—”

“No, no, buddy. You have nothing to apologize for.” Lars puts an arm around him. “I know you were having a hard time.”

“I d-didn’t want you to see me like that.”

He doesn’t specify if it’s the Graduation or him being a monster, but Lars takes it both ways.

“It’s okay, Steven.”

“It’s not.”

Lars sighs. “Okay. It’s not. But I’m not mad at you or anything. You just needed help.”

Steven finally lets out tears, maybe feeling comfortable to be vulnerable now. He falls against Lars and sinks in, while the other has wrapped both arms around him.

“It still hurts so much,” the younger boy sobs. “I wish it didn’t.”

Lars doesn’t say anything, only squeeze him a little.

“I hurt so many people, but… everyone hurt me, too. I’m still angry and tired, and sad, and I wish I weren’t.”

Steven is crying, but it’s silent, only for him to hear. Maybe he doesn’t want to alarm anyone downstairs. Lars gets he needs something quiet, so he stays and doesn’t make a scene.

“I’ve got you, Steven,” he reminds him. “I’ve got you.”

“I… I don’t want to sound selfish, but…” Steven hiccups, “I’m glad you didn’t leave.”

Lars smiles sadly. “Yeah, me too.”

“Really?”

“Really.” The older wipes some of his tears for him. “I’m staying with you, for whatever you need.”

Steven laughs. “Us Off Colors stick together, right?”

Lars wonders if he remembers his words back then, but he decides not to question it.

“Right.”

They stay close for a whole eternity, until Steven’s stomach grumbles, and the boy shyly asks what Lars brought for him. He eats the cookies, with some joy growing subtly in his eyes. Lars offers to make the hot chocolate for him, but at Steven’s request, the gems do it for them instead.

In the end, they’re both drinking hot chocolate, and they turn on the TV to watch a bad episode of Camp Pining Hearts. He didn’t know Steven liked that show… and apparently neither did Steven know Lars did, too. He doesn’t mention all the embarrassing fanfictions he wrote when he was younger, though. Maybe another day.

#steven universe #steven universe future #lars barriga #steven quartz universe #corrupted steven #fanfiction

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