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justlucygraybaird · 1 month
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Do you know why Barb is scared of squirrels? She won’t tell :(
And when she finds out her cute lil’ secret fear has slipped beyond her reach; oh that’ll be a ballad in itself. The way out to the lake got a bunch of ‘em squirrels, forest too. For the record, there are different trials, but you ain’t gettin’ away from the animals. After all they were there first, it’s up to us to respect ‘em.
I remember it bein’ a day in late spring, just before summer’s real arrival. We had decided to make some berry jam, usin’ sugar as sweetener since Maude Ivory only ate anything sweet or butter. We’ve been tryin’ to spread her wings a lil more food wise but, she’s a stubborn one just like me. So we went out in the bushes, and I remember seein’ a squirrel on distance. Barb was just a kid, and wanted to pet it before I’ did to make sure it wasn’t aggressive. The determined thing bit her as she approached it, and those traumatic moments sick, doesn’t ‘em @barbazurebairdtrue ?
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jwenvs3000w24 · 2 months
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Blog 3: Privilege in Nature Interpretation
Hey all! Welcome back to my 3rd blog post and thank you all for joining me on this journey! Enjoy my thoughts on privilege in Nature Interpretation and obviously some pictures as well!
What is privilege? The definition of privilege is a special right or advantage available to only specific people or groups. As an example this could mean that someone who is born in a large city (e.g., New York, Toronto, L.A., etc.) may never visit an untouched natural forest. While, someone born in the country or smaller towns (e.g., St. Clements, Huntsville, Lion’s Head, etc.) might be a 30 second walk from one. This privilege of being able to visit the forests and see them in their natural untouched beauty can cause a very long lasting, and deep impression on someone as a child, which, can help their love for nature grow and be significantly different than someone without the privilege of being able to visit these places on a daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly basis. 
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A picture of the untouched forest on Flower Pot Island, Tobermory from a boat just off shore. The smaller of the 2 flowerpots is seen in this picture as well.
Some people with the privilege of being in nature at a young age are going to care for it more. Thus, if you have a nature interpretation guided hike or fun activity it is more likely that the people who have had the privilege of being exposed to nature are going to show up to the hike/activity and interact with the event happening, than someone who did not have the privilege of being exposed to nature as a young child. 
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A picture taken from my grandma's sugar bush. Pails on the trees can be seen and are used for collecting sap for making maple syrup.
I was personally lucky enough to have had this privilege and have a deep interest in nature. Every year, my family goes to my grandma’s house and taps trees to collect sap and make maple syrup, and for many years when I was young I wouldn’t really help that much (oops) and would run around the bush playing in the trees and the ponds that were all around. I also had the privilege of exploring new places such as Snyder's Flats in Bloomingdale, and many trails through the Northern Bruce Peninsula. This privilege allowed me to see many different animals in different events ranging anywhere from a bear trying to break into a dumpster (unfortunately I didn’t get a picture) to water snakes mating on the rocks to feeding flying squirrels from my hand. Many people will never be able to experience these things because they never had the privilege of being in these places multiple times or for extended periods of time.
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2 wild baby foxes I saw on my way home from work in the summer time.
Thank you all once again for reading this blog. I hope you enjoyed, and hopefully you join back next week for the next post!
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March 29, 2023 Monteverde, Costa Rica
Little airports are the best. Our departure was, of course, by boat with six other people checking out. On landing to transfer to a van to the airport, the staff had water and towels at the ready to wipe off our sandy feet. Yay. The same bumpy ride to the tiny airport, check-in with weighing (bags, plus each of us), a short wait and we were off in another 12-seater. The flight was great – more viewing of the terrain, even if the wind made for a white knuckle landing. The plane was early – why wait if everyone is there already and the plane is ready to go. Thankfully, our Greenspot transport-guide was there already and off we went with him and a driver. The road headed out of town was not particularly scenic, but the fruit and veggie stands were fascinating. Further out of town it got more scenic. Olgar, the guide, was a bit difficult to understand, but quite knowledgeable and enthusiastic about the trees and other foliage! The drive – about three hours in total – was most interesting as we started uphill. The air started to change and the wind picked up. After being moist for over 1 ½ weeks (read moist as the range of slight perspiration to rivers of sweat!!), this is ever so refreshing! The higher we got, the cooler. No humidity. Ahhhhhhh. The views too, toward the Colorado Gulf out to the Pacific are lovely. But nothing beats the view from our room (more on that shortly). The hotel greeting was warm and friendly, with a refreshing sugar cane drink. Our room wasn’t ready so we headed downtown, a bit confused by the info we had received from Irene (our Costa Rica tour organizer from GreenSpot) and what Olgar had told us (minimal) about the coming days. We stopped for a delish lunch at a chocolate café (ok, yes, we had to have desert) where we reached out to Irene via WhatsApp (the world outside the US, it seems, is all WhatsApp all the time). And finally we connected with Oscar, who will be our guide for the next two days. OMG – he’s great, and made any angst over what was going on dissipate within minutes. We coordinated on our schedule, added a few things of interest, got a bunch of info, and he drove us back uphill (“everything in Montaverde is uphill”) to the Hotel Senda.
This resort hotel is a wonderful surprise. It’s really a quite extensive compound with duplex cottages tucked into the landscape – a mountainous version of the Copa. Some look out onto lovely foliage; our room and balcony thankfully have a panoramic view to the Colorado Gulf, wonderful space inside and a beautiful bathroom. Spoiled again. We wandered around a bit exploring the grounds and spotted a few strange unidentified rodent/squirrel kind of creatures, running around and then munching on something dropped from a bush. The landscaping is beautiful, with nature paths and a coffee plantation on the property. Love this place!
We stayed at the hotel for dinner. First a glass of wine on our balcony while FaceTime-ing with Janet and blogging. The sun went down over an adjacent hill rather than directly in front of us, and the red/orange glow on the horizon after it went down was stunning. This, to the sound of the wild wind in lieu of the crashing surf. Dinner was really good, the most amazing part being the vegetarian ceviche appetizer. OMG – must try this at home! Ever since Olgar had told us that his son is a bartender at our hotel, Jill has asked several staff at the Senda bar/restaurant area if they’re Olgar’s son. They all looked at her as if she had three heads. Sebbie discouraged her from continuing this quest and then, as fate would have it, Gabriel, our server at dinner, asked if we were the ones who arrived with his father! Victory! The funniest part was Jillebob then finding at least one of the folks who had given her a blank stare to convince him that she wasn’t nuts. Back to the toasty warm room (it got cold out there!) and to bed….
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From March 11th to March 14th, 2024
11-03-2024
NIGEL KENNEDY “The Kennedy Experience”; PEGGY LEE “Black Coffee With Peggy Lee”; LESTER FLATT & EARL SCRUGGS “Changin' Times”; SARAH VAUGHAN “Sarah Vaughan”; T.REX “Zinc Alloy & The Hidden Riders Of Tomorrow”; SQUAREPUSHER “Ultravisitor”; GRUFF RHYS “(Don't) Welcome The Plague As A Blessing – The Babelsberg Basement Files”; KATE & ANNA McGARRIGLE “The McGarrigle Hour”; GUIDED BY VOICES “Under The Bushes, Under The Stars”; FOO FIGHTERS “The Colour & The Shape”; SARAH VAUGHAN “Swingin' Easy”; ANDREW LLOYD-WEBBER & TIM RICE “Joseph & The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat”; SWEET BABOO “The Vending Machine”; GEORGE HARRISON “Thirty Three & A Third”; SUPERGRASS “Supergrass”
12-03-2024
T.REX “Live At The BBC 1970-71”; HAPPY MONDAYS “Squirrel & G-Man Twenty Four Hour Party People Plastic Face Carnt Smile (White Out)”; KIRK FRANKLIN & THE FAMILY “Kirk Franklin & The Family”; ELIZA CARTHY & NANCY KERR “Shape Of Scrape”; BRIAN WILSON “That Lucky Old Sun”; GUIDED BY VOICES “Cool Planet”; THE CARDIGANS “Emmerdale”; SUPER FURRY ANIMALS “Love Kraft”; CHAMPION JACK DUPRE “Junkers Blues”; MICHAEL DOUCET & BEAUSOLEIL “Parle Nous A Boire”; NADA SURF “The Stars Are Indifferent To Astronomy”; TANYA DONELLY “This Hungry Life”
13-03-2024
T.REX “Bolan's Zip Gun”; BRIAN WILSON & VAN DYKE PARKS “Orange Crate Art”; SPARKS “Music That You Can Dance To”; THE JAMES TAYLOR QUARTET “Supernatural Feeling”; ABNER JAY “The True Story Of Dixie”; TALLY HALL “Marvin's Marvellous Mechanical Museum”; HAPPY MONDAYS “Bummed”; NADA SURF “You Know Who You Are”; DOROTHY LOVE COATES & THE ORIGINAL GOSPEL HARMONETTES “The Best Of Dorothy Love Coates & The Original Gospel Harmonettes, Volume 2”; SARAH VAUGHAN “Sarah Vaughan Sings George Gershwin, Volume 1”; ENNIO MORRICONE “Il Buono, Il Brutto, Il Cattivo”; JAY SEMKO & VARIOUS ARTISTS “Due South Original Television Soundtrack”; MOTORHEAD “Motorhead”; WASHINGTON PHILLIPS “What Are They Doing In Heaven Today?”; SARAH VAUGHAN & BILLY ECKSTINE “Sarah Vaughan & Billy Eckstine Sing The Best Of Irving Berlin”; THE MUMMIES “Fuck The Mummies”
14-03-2024
EUROS CHILDS “Cheer Gone”; LEON ROSSELSON “Intruders”; SUGAR “Copper Blue”; RODGERS & HAMMERSTEIN “The Sound Of Music Original Soundtrack”; ROLAND ALPHONSO “King Sax”; CHUCK BERRY “New Juke Box Hits”; PARQUET COURTS “Light Up Gold”; HOMEWORK “Homework”; CHRIS ARDOIN & DOUBLE CLUTCHIN' “Best Kept Secret”; MOTORHEAD “Overkill”; KATE RUSBY “The Girl Who Couldn't Fly”; NADA SURF “High-Low”; CAB CALLOWAY & HIS ORCHESTRA “Cab Calloway 1931-1932”; JOHN HARDEE “John Hardee 1946-1948”; GUIDED BY VOICES “Warp & Woof”; THE CORAL “Distance Inbetween”
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naturecoaster · 3 months
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Why I Love Florida’s Nature Coast
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I look ahead and there is a curving blacktop taking me through stands of pine, oak, and sugar maple trees with occasional citrus trees popping up here and there. I feel safe and nurtured by the natural surroundings. In the winter, the sugar maples turn colors like orange and red. Some of the bushes turn yellow. It is our version of the northern fall colors and it is beautiful. I keep an eye open for traveling deer, tortoises, squirrels, and other fauna that may want to cross the roads I travel, both to keep from hitting them and to appreciate their graceful presence. I am on my way to a Chamber of Commerce luncheon, where I will meet and eat with fellow small business owners, politicians, committed nonprofit directors, resort directors, and other community leaders. We will chat about families, upcoming events, business, responsibilities, and opportunities, then we will unanimously stand and pledge our allegiance to our country and say a prayer for God’s wisdom, guidance, and blessings. I may be given 5 minutes to pitch my business to attendees. I always feel unity and hope when I attend these luncheons. Some have resulted in new business. Some have resulted in new friends, and some have resulted in new responsibilities, but they all remind me of how fortunate I am to live in a place that still promotes solid values and community partnerships. Florida's Nature Coast Florida’s Nature Coast ranges from Pasco County north to Wachulla County along the Big Bend coast. It is an informally designated area originally proposed by Florida’s Governor Lawton Chiles. NatureCoaster only covers Pasco, Hernando, and Citrus Counties because that is the area we know best. Read about the history of the Nature Coast here. This 1,000+ square miles of Florida’s Gulf Coast has a history that is echoed from small town to small town. The east side of the Suncoast Parkway is still heavily forested as part of the Withlacoochee State Forest. This is a true gem of natural preservation that helps to shape the character of the eastern portion of the area. There are several ranches, farms, and large cow/calf operations, including the Bellamy Brothers Ranch, the Barthle Brothers Ranch, Campton Ranch, and Fenco Farms. The cows moved to high ground for the storm and made it through just fine with a roll or two of hay. Image by Diane Bedard The west side of each county has been developed to enjoy water-based recreation such as fishing and boating and swimming with manatees. This coast does not feature traditional beaches but instead boasts ecologically-friendly saltwater marshes and tidal grasses along its shores. In fact, we have the Nature Coast Aquatic Preserve and the north end of the Tampa Bay Aquatic Preserve protecting our natural shorelines. Protected Springs and Rivers are Part of the Magic The hydrology is amazing! First-magnitude freshwater springs abound throughout Florida’s Nature Coast, with Weeki Wachee Springs probably being the most famous thanks to Newt Perry and his original Weeki Wachee Park. Today Weeki Wachee Springs is a State Park, protecting the headwaters of the Weeki Wachee River. Next is Homosassa Springs, with its 1960s attraction and resort having been converted into a State Park, protecting the headwaters of the Homosassa River. The torpedo-shaped manatee glides through the waters at Homosassa Springs State Wildlife Park, one of the places you can find manatees year-round on the NautreCoast. Photo by Sally White Old Homosassa is a fishing village that is still a working waterfront, with fishermen and shrimpers plying its waters to make a living. There are also resorts and charters for vacationers and visitors, as well as the Yulee Sugar Mill Ruins, which is what remains of a huge plantation that was located in Homosassa, but was burned out by the union armies. Read about it here. Tampa Bay Pushes Northward, but Can't Overrun Our Small-Town Culture As Tampa Bay pushes northward into this region, many ranches have been converted to subdivisions and planned communities, but the small-town culture remains in the cities that populate the region, including Zephyrhills, Dade City, Brooksville, Inverness, and Crystal River. Some are feeling the transition more, like New Port Richey with its historic downtown, riverfront, and small business culture inching toward a more urban feel with its public recreation center and city services. Port Richey is a city just north of New Port Richey. Its lack of a downtown area is replaced by an active waterfront district. There are many census-designated places like Aripeka, Hernando Beach, Spring Hill, Bayport, Hudson, Homosassa, Land O’Lakes, Beverly Hills, Ridge Manor, Elfers, Lecanto, Holiday, and Floral City. While Spring Hill and Land O'Lakes have become popular residential areas, they have no downtown or city services. Lecanto is growing like wildfire with residential and commercial growth. It is in central Citrus County and the county’s government services are located there. Wesley Chapel is another census-designated area that is booming! Starting with Saddlebrook Resort, a nationally recognized golf and tennis resort, Wesley Chapel began its growth in the 1980s and has become a powerhouse in the east Pasco region. To drive State Road 54 from I-75 to Zephyrhills is an exercise in growth through residential development. Still, when you get to Zephyrhills, the pace slows down and the small businesses abound. You never know where you will find the roaming manatee at the Florida Manatee Festival in Crystal River. Image courtesy of Citrus County Chamber of Commerce. Did I mention the Festivals? This area has so many fun festivals! The Manatee Festival, the Kumquat Festival, BBQ & Blues, the Stone Crab Festival, the Seafood and Arts Festival, Art in the Park, Camping with the Blues, Blues Bash at the Ranch, Brooksville Blueberry Festival, Holistic Health Festival, Multicultural Festival, Chasco Fiesta, and... I cannot name them all! AND PARADES! Keep up with it all on our Events Page. I am so grateful that natural areas have been preserved throughout the Nature Coast region. And I am grateful for the people that make up this area, including you. Below you will find lists of parks and preserves that help keep our nature coast natural. Whenever you have the opportunity to just pull into one of them and take a short break, I encourage you to do so. Parks and Recreation Areas to Enjoy on the Nature Coast Citrus County Parks Leisure: - Boat Ramps & Fishing Piers - Skate Parks Trails: - Citrus County Cycling - Friends of the Withlacoochee State Trail - Withlacoochee Bay Trail - Withlacoochee State Trail Other Parks: - City of Crystal River Parks - City of Inverness Parks - Florida State Parks - State Parks & Preserves Hernando County Parks - Hernando County Parks - City of Brooksville Parks - Hernando County Preserves - Boat Ramps and Fishing Piers Pasco County Parks - Pasco County Parks - Pasco County Aquatic Parks Read the full article
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kingfuttrup91 · 3 months
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If pests have invaded your house, you might start feeling hopeless. It often seems as if they keep multiplying despite your best efforts to eliminate them. If you are in this situation, peruse this article to get some advice as to how to eliminate them.
Do not expect to get rid of pests by keeping your home clean. It is a myth that you can starve out pests. Many pests can eat things that you would not consider food, like paper or glue. The only way to get rid of pests is to address the problem directly. Know what pest you are dealing with. You can't combat what you don't understand. Not every pest control method works for every type of bug. You need to choose the right weapon to face your foe. So do your research. Search the internet for bugs that look like your pest, and see what types of methods work best. If you believe that you have a bat in the house, leave a window open overnight. Try to pick one that is located close to where you think the bat might be. These pests follow the air current, so they should go right back outside if they have a way to exit the premises. Kill ants around your home using an easy-to-make home concoction. Combine borax and sugar in a jar in a 1:1 ratio. Sprinkle the mixture around the outside of your home at its foundation and anywhere else you've noticed ants. The sugar will attract the ants, while the borax will kill them. If you are living in a multi-unit building, any form of individual pest control measures that you take will be ineffective. house cleaning services in NYC is because those pests can travel from one apartment unit to another. To get rid of the bugs completely, your whole building needs to be treated at one time. Critter proof mesh is something that you will want to install in your attic as this can prevent squirrels or mice from entering your home. This is important as these animals can carry different types of bacteria or diseases that you will want to avoid at all costs during the year. If you have a lot of trees or bushes around your home, prune them. This is a good way to prevent insects and animals from moving closer to your home, as they will not be able to transport themselves. Try to prune your trees at least once every few months or when they are getting too large. If you have ants, look for boric acid. Boric acid, sometimes listed as orthoboric acid, is the most effective pesticide for ants. In addition, many of the baits containing this are safe for use around pets and children, although you should always carefully read all safety labels to be sure. Around the exterior of your home, there are tiny cracks next to your pipes, in your foundation, and in your siding. These cracks may seem small, but they are big enough for the bugs to get inside your home. Use a good quality exterior caulk to seal these cracks and keep the bugs outside. If you have many mosquitoes in your yard, and possibly even infiltrating your home, try to eliminate any standing water. If there is a high population of mosquitoes on your property, they are breeding somewhere, and they can only breed in standing water. Dump anything that collects rainwater, dump kid pools and do whatever you can to eliminate breeding grounds. If you have a mouse or rat problem that you believe you can handle yourself, head down to your local supermarket or any other store that sells pest-control supplies and purchase snap traps and peanut butter. Set up the snap traps in an area you believe is heavily traveled by the vermin and put some peanut butter on the bait area. Mice and rats love peanut butter. You need to learn how pests are getting into your home. For instance, your window may have a tiny gap that allows spiders in or your pets may bring outdoor bugs in. Determining the source of the problem allows you to eliminate it. Dealing with pests in your home is no day at the beach. It sometimes can be a battle for even months. Use the above advice to eliminate pests, for good. You can enjoy sleeping in a pest-free environment.
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jeninthegarden · 1 year
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2023 Seed List
Up, up and away!
There was no fall planting.  The summer’s drought really killed the fall harvest and depressed my gardening spirit. So, there will be no rest this spring! Timing is everything, particularly in the spring. The trellises must go up as soon as the soil can be worked.  The peas and pea fences must be removed promptly so that they do not shade over seedlings and so the rutabaga can be planted in their place.  The root crops and spinach and lettuce must be thinned sooner. The corn has to be planted sooner so it is strong enough for the beans. The tomatoes/eggplants/peppers must be separated and repotted sooner so they get bigger before they are transplanted. The greenhouse box greens have to be eaten sooner.  The plants need to be fertilized at the correct time. The fences and gates must be secured, and stay secured so that the groundhog doesn’t get in.  Some plants (corn, squash, sunflowers) must be germinated inside so the squirrels do not dig up the seeds and sprouts.  Some plants (eggplant, peppers) must not be transplanted out until June because the sun’s angle will burn them in the spring.
Note that if I can, I purchase from PineTree Seeds because their prices are the lowest, always. This year, Johnny Seed has been the most expensive, so I have limited my purchases from them.  I’ve also tried to get more seeds from Hudson Valley Seeds and Fruition Seeds because both companies are actually in my planting zone and offering seed varieties that grow here, and that I should therefor be able to grow here without too much difficulty. Note to self: many of my seed orders have come with a “10% off your next order” coupon, so I’m being rewarded for forgetting to order certain seeds, or for impulse shopping after my seed shopping is done.
The following seed list is comprised of just the edibles I am ordering.
Legumes:
Bush beans: “Velour” – no surprise.  A compact, bush-habit plant, very heavy-bearing bright purple, stringless pods over a long season.  This is my top choice for bush beans. Very heat and drought tolerant. This past season it was the only summer bean to produce.  Finding it can be tricky, but this year I ordered it from PineTree Seeds.
Fava beans- I have a pack of Pinetree Seeds “Varoma” left from last year. “Sweet Loran” from Territorial Seeds is a fall sown variety that takes 250 days to germinate, so I’m committing to some fall sowing this year.  But I am also buying “Aquadulce” from RH Shumway, which is the fastest growing variety, ready in just 80 days.
Noodle beans – I bought the delicious, nutty flavored. “Yardlong Red” from the Vermont Bean Seed Company last year and never got them in the ground. So will work on getting the trellises up early, since these are too heavy to grow on the corn stalks.
Pole beans- Not getting the corn planted meant none of these were planted. I still have Vermont Bean Seed Company’s “Tarbais” a small white, pole bean from a little village in the south of France of the same name, which are cassoulet beans, and “Succotash”, a marble shaped, black, pole bean that can be dried, which is thought to have originated in Rhode Island by the Narragansett Indian Tribe. “Winged Bean” aka asparagus bean was weird looking and weird tasting and I have grown it with limited success, so, yeah I bought some more (from PineTree Seeds).
Runner beans: Likewise, the runner beans were never planted. So, I have 2 packets of “Black Coat”, an ancient heirloom from Pinetree (which is a red-blossomed, black bean) left to be planted this year.  
Shelling Peas: Going with “Alaska Early” again, from Territorial Seeds, just 57 days to maturity. And “Wando” from Eden Brothers which is both heat and drought tolerant.
Snap Peas: These produced well and were very tasty. We will plant all these again. “Sugar Magnolia”, which have violet pods, and “Spring Blush” a pink-tinted pod, and “Opal Creek” which are a golden green color, all from Pinetree.
Soybeans- I ordered “Karikachi” soybeans from Pinetree seeds, which are supposed to be tall and prolific. They certainly germinated well last year, but the groundhog was the only one to enjoy them.
 Fruits:
“Cardoon” from Fruition Seeds – they are perennial, so I thought I’d attempt them this year.
Corn – “Sweetness” a fast-growing robust stalk sweet corn, and “Kandy Korn” a taller, standard season sweet corn, both from Territorial Seeds.
Cucumber- “Early Cluster Russian” from R H Shumway is a prolific, climbing cucumber. “Double-Yield” from Territorial Seeds is a vigorous and hardy variety good for pickling and slicing.
Eggplant – I decided to go with a Japanese fingerling “Ping Tung” and a standard globe Italian “Black Beauty”, both from Fruition Seeds because they are cultivated successfully in a nearby location.
Gourds- No gourds this year! This statement will be revised later when I impulsively buy gourd seeds.
Melon – They all germinated last year, but none grew or blossomed.  Bought more “Iroquois Cantaloupe” (standard sized, thickly netted skin, good northern grower) from Hudson Valley Seed. And I bought “Navajo Gold” (a smooth skinned, yellow fleshed melon) from PineTree Seeds.
Okra – “Jambalaya” from Territorial Seeds is a cold hardy, compact plant.
 Pepper – “Pica Chile Mix” (a mix of hot pepper seeds) from Hudson Valley Seed Company.  “Fish Hot Pepper” an African cultivar, and “Monster yellow” an 8 inch bell peppers from Baker Creek. I still have a lot of saved seeds (also hot peppers) from making cowboy candy in the fall, so I will start some more.  I don’t want to talk about Datil peppers of Saint Augustine, Florida right now; like the gourds, impulse buying is not hard to imagine.
Tomatoes – “Black Beauty” a blue/black beefsteak tomato, “Evil olive” a black, red and green cherry tomato, “Big Rainbow” a yellow, red, orange striped beefsteak tomato, “Bread and Salt” red, beefsteak tomato, all from Baker Creek.  I have several varieties left from last year: “Climbing Triple Crop”, a red beefsteak that climbs 10-15 feet, “Pineapple” a beefsteak heirloom that is yellow with red blotches, and “Pork Chop” which is a large beefsteak yellow with dark green stripes. And I stumbled on a new hybrid from Fruition Seeds called “Finger Lakes Long Paste” that is a prolific and cold hardy paste tomato developed by Cornell University.
 Watermelon: “Golden Midget” from Eden Brothers which is small and early fruiting with a yellow rind and pink interior. “Blacktail Mountain” from Baker Creek, smaller and cold hardy, green rind and pink flesh, easy to grow.
Winter Squash and pumpkins: “Cornell's Bush Delicata” (a bush variety delicata – I love delicata because it’s thin skin is edible when roasted), “Violina Rugosa Butternut” (a skinnier, elongated butternut with a very small seed cavity), “Long Island Cheese Pumpkin” (a very meaty round, orange squash) from Hudson Valley Seed Company.  I have leftover also bought “Baked Potato” winter squash from Burpee. “Jarrahdale Blue pumpkin” a blue, dense pumpkin with meaty flesh for savory dishes, and “Marina de Chioggia” a warty, green pumpkin that is best for sweets and pies, both from Baker Creek.
Zucchini- I still have leftover seeds: Vermont Bean Seed Company catalogue “Vermont Hybrid Medley” pack of 4 types of zucchini: green, green-gold, gold and yellow, that are all compact bush varieties that grow well in the Northeast; a round green, French heirloom variety called “Rond de Nice”; a pale green, patty pan summer squash called “Peter Pan” from Burpee which is described as much meatier than other patty pan squash; and “Scalloped Blend” from Eden Brothers, of 6 different colored patty pan squash.
Roots:
Beets: “Brilliant Beet Blend” from Hudson Valley Seed Company. But then, because I want beet greens, I bought “Early Wonder Tall Top” from PineTree Seeds.
Carrot: pelleted seeds was a waste.  So back to regular seeds, I’ve ordered “Oxheart” a round ball carrot and “Chanteney” a long variety, from PineTree Seeds.   And I ordered “Rainbow Mix” from Eden brothers.
Celeriac: “Balena” from Johnny Seed, a larger and bolt resistant hybrid.
Parsley Root: “Arat” from Pinetree is a long, slender root that tastes like a cross between carrots and celeriac.
Parsnips: Ordered “Warrior” from Territorial Seed which is a foot long variety.
Potatoes:  going back to growing them in containers. I will buy some from the store and sew them to avoid the horrible shipping costs. But am wanting to try Row 7’s butter flavored potato.
Radish:  “Karami Green” is a green radish that is supposed to taste like wasabi.  “Cherry Bell” is a 3-week radish good for spring or fall panting. Both are from Territorial Seeds. “Red King” a large, sweet daikon radish from Johnny Seed.
Rutabaga: “American Purple Top” from Eden Brothers, a good winter keeper with orange flesh.
Sweet Potatoes: “Japanese Marasaki” growing my own slips over winter.  Will grow in containers.
Turnips: “Hinona Kabu Japanese” from Pinetree, these look like pink carrots and are specifically for pickling. Very good crop so I bought them again. “Purple Top” from RH Shumway, a traditional white globe, sweet turnip.
Greens:
Arugula: “Arugula” the fast growing spring variety from PineTree Seeds.
Chard: “Silverado Chard” large, white from Hudson Valley Seed Company.
“Claytonia” from Baker Creek. It is a succulent green that looks like a bouquet of little lily pads.
Escarole:  “Bavarian Broadlead” from Eden brothers.
“Fenugreek” from Eden Brothers. Not popular – nobody else is selling them.
“Ice Lettuce” from Pinetree, which is not actually lettuce. It did not germinate last year, so I will try again.
Lettuce: “Flashy Butter Oak”, “Buttercrunch Bibb”, and “Blushed Butter Oak” lettuces from Hudson Valley Seed Company. “Chicken Lettuce” from R H Shumway is a lettuce that re-grows quickly and can withstand nibbling from chickens.
Mache: “Mache Green” from PineTree seeds because it was on sale.
“Mitsuba” from Pinetree. It’s Japanese parsley, or Chinese celery. It tastes like parsley-celery? Did not germinate last year so I bought it to try again.
Nettles: “Stinging Nettle” from Hudson Valley Seed Company, never made it into the ground.
Orach: “Red Orach” from Baker Creek; a violet red, velvet leafed spinach that grows on an 18 inch, upright stalk.
Purslane: “Goldberger” from PineTree Seeds.
Radicchio: “Fiero” a green with burgundy edges, upright radicchio that looks like romaine lettuce from Johnny Seeds.
“Saltwort” from Pinetree, a succulent that actually tastes salty.
Spinach: “Bloomsburg Long Standing” from Eden Brothers is a bolt resistant, upright meaty dark green leaf.
“Watercress” from Baker Creek.
Winter Mache: “New York Hardy Mache” 250 Seeds from Fruition Seeds
Winter Mesclun: “Winter Green Mesclun Mix” 400 Seeds from Fruition Seeds
Winter Spinach: “Giant Winter Spinach” 175 Seeds from Fruition Seeds
Brassica:
Asian Greens: “Tatsoi Greens” from Hudson Valley Seed Company.  The gold standard for large rosettes, spoon-shaped leaves, tenderness, mild flavor.
Broccoli: “Noble Jade” a Chinese broccoli kale, “Bonarda” a purple, sprouting broccoli that can over-winter,  both from Johnny Seed.  For standard broccoli I will buy local seedlings.  
Chinese Cabbage: “Tokyo Bekana” is a Chinese cabbage that looks like a very pale, lemon-lime chard.  “Miss Hong” a red Chinese cabbage that is tall and pointy leafed like romaine lettuce.  Both from Johnny Seed.
Cauliflower: “Baby Hybrid” a small 3 inch heads with edible leaves, from RH Shumway.  Other than that, I will buy seedlings of “Fioretto” an open head, branching cauliflower.
Collards: “Morris Heading Collards” from RH Shumway is a bit like Portuguese Kale. “Hen Pecked” from Fruition Seeds, looks like Russian Kale – a bit lacy, maybe thinner and easier for the chickens to eat.
Kale: “Sea Kale” perennial seeds from PineTree seeds.  “Thousand Head” a monster kale with smooth, 3 foot leaves from Baker Creek.
And, because they seem to go with the brassicas in planting rotations, the alums:
Chives: “Common Chives” 400 more seeds from Fruition Seeds to start right after Christmas.
Garlic:  Will purchase seed garlic locally and plant in the fall.
Leek: “Tadorna” from Fruition Seeds. 75 Seeds to start right after Thanksgiving. But just to hedge my bets, I ordered 50, pencil width seedlings of “Lancelot” from RH Shumway.
Onion: I am doing the regrow project
Scallions: I am doing the scallion regrow project.
Shallots: “Cuisse du Poulet du Poitou Shallot” from Fruition Seeds are shallots the size of a chicken thigh.
Flowers for companion planting:
Cosmos:  I ordered the Park Seed “Cups & Saucers”.  
“Edible Flower Mix” from Hudson Valley Seed Company
Marigold:  benefits so many things in the garden. I not only grew the bigger “Mission Giant Yellow” which looks like an imperial chrysanthemum, blossoms 3 inches across, I saved lots of the seeds and will plant them again this year. It is also taller so it can be planted with taller plants. And I bought the orange version “Spun Gold” from Baker Creek.
Nasturiums: “Tall Mix” from Eden Brothers.
Zinnias: “Benary Mix” from Eden Brothers.
Herbs for companion planting:
Basil: “Queen of Siam” Thai basil, and “Mammoth” lettuce leaf sized basil, from Eden Brothers
Borage: I have seeds left from previous years, and it self-seeds.
Dill: “Elephant” long standing, bolt resistant from Eden Brothers.
“Lovage” a 6 foot, perennial cutting celery from Baker Creek.
Marjoram:  I will purchase locally
Tarragon: I will purchase locally and interplant some with the Rosemary.
Angelica: “Holy Ghost” by Eden Brothers.
Grains and Seeds:
Poppy Seeds:  “Breadseed Poppy” flowers from Hudson Valley Seed Company.  Because.
Amaranth: “Red Garnet” from Pinetree, profuse edible leaves.
Millet- The chickens love millet. “Red Millet” from Fruition Seeds.
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Humming Along
“Like the hummingbird sipping nectar from every flower, I fly joyfully through my days, seeing beauty in everything.”– Amethyst Wyldfyre
 After tucking a hibiscus plucked from my mother’s garden behind my ear, I was immediately the object of desire for a hungry hummer. The iridescent red crown identified the hovering nectar hunter as a male Anna’s hummingbird. The females and young have green crowns. What a photo op, but alas, no camera or iPhone in sight. 
Of the known 331 species of hummingbirds, 27 types are found in the United States, and 14 reside in California. Hummers only live in North and South America. When most people think of pollinators, bees, butterflies, bats, beetles, birds, and moths may come to mind. Yet, hummingbirds are some of the greatest pollinators as they can visit one to three thousand flowers in a single day. As they whiz from flower to flower, pollen from the stamen sticks to their long bills and forehead as they feed. They prefer plants with tubular-shaped flowers and many plants have evolved (some with the help of human intervention) to be more attractive to hummingbirds with brighter colors, higher nectar counts, and daylight blooms. Because they have long, slim bills, hummingbirds can feed deep into chambers and cannulas that bees or other pollinators cannot reach. They also eat tiny insects and spiders that are detrimental to flower beds and vegetable gardens. 
Native and navitar plants that are red, blue, orange, yellow, and purple are favorites. What is the difference between native and navitar plants? 
Native: • highly adapted to the climate and soil they are naturally growing in  • requires less babying (within their particular climate) than non-natives  • promotes biodiversity throughout your garden  • naturally resistant to local pests  • attract beneficial pollinators 
 Navitar: • combination of the words ‘native’ and ‘cultivar’ (result of careful selection and crossbreeding by humans)  • wider variety of flower colors, shapes & forms  • incorporate different sizes of plant  • heightened insect or disease resistance  • select preferred hardiness   • main concern for - and argument against - is their lack of genetic diversity 
 Plants Attractive to Hummingbirds
Petunia
Calibrachoa
Catmint
Sage
Salvia
Penstemon (beardtongue)
Bee balm
Daylily
Fuchsia
Cardinal flower
Blazing star
Garden phlox
Lobelia
Weigela
Oregon grape
Azalea
Currant
Flowering quince
Trumpet vine
Trumpet honeysuckle
Bleeding Heart
Butterfly bush
Cardinal Flower
Columbine
Rose of Sharon
Hibiscus
Lupin
Purple Rhododendron
Zinnia
Lantana
Red hot poker (torch lily)
Echinacea
Delphinium
Crocosmia
Hollyhocks
Pink Bower Vine
 Hummingbirds remain in landscapes that provide all the supplies they need to survive and thrive. Besides planting species that will feed them, there are other things you can do to encourage hummingbirds to hang around.
Bathing Fountain: Due to the sticky nature of the nectar, hummingbirds need to bathe frequently. They prefer running water in a shallow area. Bubbling fountains or misters are an important investment in their healthcare. They even will frequent sprinklers!
Nests: Hummingbirds do not nest in birdhouses. They build tiny, usually around 1 inch in diameter, nests camouflaged with lichen, moss, and spider webs. This makes them hard to discover. They can be 3-60 feet from the ground and sometimes as much as ½ mile from their favorite food sources. 
Feeders: Place feeders in areas where you’ll be able to watch the frenzy. It’s best to have multiple feeders to reduce territoriality. Hang them high enough to be safe from cats or predators which include snakes, squirrels, and larger birds. Recommended height is at least 4 feet from the ground. 
Recipe for homemade nectar:
*Boil 4 quarts of water and let it cool. Tap water is fine. Do not use distilled water.
*Dissolve 1 cup cane or beet sugar in the cooled water. Do not use any other type of sugar, artificial sweetener, or honey. 
*Fill feeder ¾ full or however much is used within a few days.
*Store unused remainder in a closed container in the refrigerator for a week.
Maintenance of feeders: It is important to change the mixture every 4-5 days. If the weather exceeds 90 degrees, the nectar will ferment. Change it more often if it gets cloudy. Clean feeders between refilling without topping off. Many feeders can be safely sanitized in the dishwasher. Otherwise, use mild detergent, wash, and rinse thoroughly. Monthly sterilize the feeders in a solution of bleach and water. 
Other Tips: To entertain all pollinators, maintain an organic landscape free of pesticides, insecticides, and chemical fertilizers. Your garden is their dinner table, and their daily dining provide the ingredients for your dinner table. 
 My garden is buzzing with every type of pollinator. As I sit in my office writing this article, a beautiful, black-chinned hummingbird with its shimmering purple and white collar was busy outside my window investigating my roses. Again, I couldn’t get an appropriate photo through the window screen and shutter, but the visit was enchanting. 
 See the beauty in everything and thrill to the metallic humming of the wings of these living hovercrafts. Fly joyfully through your day!
 Happy Gardening. Happy Growing.
Photos and more: https://www.lamorindaweekly.com/archive/issue1610/Digging-Deep-with-Goddess-Gardener-Cynthia-Brian-Humming-along.html
Press Pass:https://blog.voiceamerica.com/2022/07/08/hummingbirds-are-pollinators/
 Cynthia Brian, The Goddess Gardener, is available for hire to help you prepare for your spring garden. Raised in the vineyards of Napa County, Cynthia is a New York Times best-selling author, actor, radio personality, speaker, media and writing coach as well as the Founder and Executive Director of Be the Star You Are!® 501 c3. Tune into Cynthia’s StarStyle® Radio Broadcast at www.StarStyleRadio.com.
Buy copies of her books, including, Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul, Growing with the Goddess Gardener, and Be the Star You Are! www.cynthiabrian.com/online-store. Receive a FREE inspirational music DVD and special savings.
Hire Cynthia for writing projects, garden consults, and inspirational lectures.
www.GoddessGardener.com
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alexanderhorowitz7 · 2 years
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If pests have invaded your house, you might start feeling hopeless. It often seems as if they keep multiplying despite your best efforts to eliminate them. If you are in this situation, peruse this article to get some advice as to how to eliminate them.
Do not expect to get rid of pests by keeping your home clean. It is a myth that you can starve out pests. Many pests can eat things that you would not consider food, like paper or glue. The only way to get rid of pests is to address the problem directly. Know what pest you are dealing with. best country to invest in can't combat what you don't understand. Not every pest control method works for every type of bug. You need to choose the right weapon to face your foe. So do your research. Search the internet for bugs that look like your pest, and see what types of methods work best. If you believe that you have a bat in the house, leave a window open overnight. Try to pick one that is located close to where you think the bat might be. These pests follow the air current, so they should go right back outside if they have a way to exit the premises. Kill ants around your home using an easy-to-make home concoction. Combine borax and sugar in a jar in a 1:1 ratio. Sprinkle the mixture around the outside of your home at its foundation and anywhere else you've noticed ants. The sugar will attract the ants, while the borax will kill them. If you are living in a multi-unit building, any form of individual pest control measures that you take will be ineffective. This is because those pests can travel from one apartment unit to another. To get rid of the bugs completely, your whole building needs to be treated at one time. Critter proof mesh is something that you will want to install in your attic as this can prevent squirrels or mice from entering your home. This is important as these animals can carry different types of bacteria or diseases that you will want to avoid at all costs during the year. If you have a lot of trees or bushes around your home, prune them. This is a good way to prevent insects and animals from moving closer to your home, as they will not be able to transport themselves. Try to prune your trees at least once every few months or when they are getting too large. If you have ants, look for boric acid. Boric acid, sometimes listed as orthoboric acid, is the most effective pesticide for ants. In addition, many of the baits containing this are safe for use around pets and children, although you should always carefully read all safety labels to be sure. Around the exterior of your home, there are tiny cracks next to your pipes, in your foundation, and in your siding. These cracks may seem small, but they are big enough for the bugs to get inside your home. Use a good quality exterior caulk to seal these cracks and keep the bugs outside. If you have many mosquitoes in your yard, and possibly even infiltrating your home, try to eliminate any standing water. If there is a high population of mosquitoes on your property, they are breeding somewhere, and they can only breed in standing water. Dump anything that collects rainwater, dump kid pools and do whatever you can to eliminate breeding grounds. If you have a mouse or rat problem that you believe you can handle yourself, head down to your local supermarket or any other store that sells pest-control supplies and purchase snap traps and peanut butter. Set up the snap traps in an area you believe is heavily traveled by the vermin and put some peanut butter on the bait area. Mice and rats love peanut butter. You need to learn how pests are getting into your home. For instance, your window may have a tiny gap that allows spiders in or your pets may bring outdoor bugs in. Determining the source of the problem allows you to eliminate it. Dealing with pests in your home is no day at the beach. It sometimes can be a battle for even months. Use the above advice to eliminate pests, for good. You can enjoy sleeping in a pest-free environment.
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seokoloqy · 5 years
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psst... *opens jacket* I have sugar bush the squirrel photos- 2 for $10 - PDA
idk how I feel about spending $10 on photos of a squirrel ma’am
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sugar and pine
(A/N: Sorry this took so long. I started school up again, and there is a lotta textbook reading. And! Bonus points if you can guess what TV show they're watching, lol)
SMUT AHEAD
Summary: She smells like home- all warm coffee and cotton sheets fresh from the clothesline as Bucky runs through the wood trying to find her.
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“Baby!”  Bucky cries through their bond. "Where?"
He tilts his head up to the sky and howls, coaxing his omega to come to him. Bucky stops running, panting tiredly as his ears flick back and forth, listening hard. He can't see or hear her anywhere, but her scent floats past his wolf nose in the breeze.
“Sunny!”
Where the hell is she? She isn't near the riverbank, not near the raspberry bushes, nor dancing on the outskirts of the fairy circle. She's good at hiding, but Bucky likes the chase so as long as he can still smell her. She smells terrific, too, like curling up in warm cotton sheets with a fresh cup of coffee. She's cinnamon sugar sweet with the different traces of pine, wood smoke, and the ground before a rainstorm. Those are the twins, Bucky knows. The sweetness is what she smells like when she's bred.
“Where?!" Bucky hollers.
His giant head moves around as he scans the surroundings of their forest as if he’ll just suddenly be able to spot her amidst the dark trees. They’ve been hunting for a while tonight to get their blood pumping and to satiate the hunger that never seems to cease now that she is pregnant. Bucky drops to his stomach and lets out a whine, hoping she’ll hear and come to him.
Three months ago, he’d felt her scent change, just a few days after her ‘heat.’ Bucky hasn’t been able to stand her being more than a few feet from him. His protective instincts are stronger than they’ve ever been, and if he can’t see her, he has to be at least able to smell her, which means that she is no longer able to hunt by herself. Nor is she allowed to be alone with any male that isn’t Bucky (not that that’s been stopping her, the stubborn little thing that she is). Bucky is a simple kind of alpha. He wishes only to keep her safe and keep her warm. Wrap her all up in his scent, keep her tucked in blankets and never let her leave his sight.
Stirrings of want are pulsing through their bond, and Bucky whines again as he heats up. Alphas get needy when their omegas get pregnant, and Bucky is no exception. All he wants to do lately is rub up against her and get his tongue between her legs. All he wants is for her to sit on his dick for hours while he sucks on her sensitive nipples until she comes all over him.
“Mine."
"Yours!"
Bucky leaps to his feet, his tail wagging as he races around in excitement.
“’Mega!” he cries.
There is a faint rustling of leaves, and then, without so much as moving a blade of grass, his omega drops down from way up in the most giant tree and lands right in front of Bucky. He leaps to his paws and nuzzles his big snout against every bit of her that he can reach. The old t-shirt and boxer shorts she’d stolen from Bucky are entirely covered in wet, sticky blood. Bucky doesn’t mind and noses up her t-shirt to sniff her stomach affectionately.
“They okay?” she asks, petting Bucky’s head.
He huffs, his hot breath tickling her skin. She squirms, and he grins a wolf grin.
“Good,” he confirms.
She gives him a devastatingly beautiful smile and offers Bucky a dead squirrel. He lets his vamp fangs loose and starts drinking from the animal hungrily.
“Where?” he asks her.
“I went hunting, obviously," she says.
Bucky scowls. "Without?"
"You slow me down."
"Vamp!" says Bucky indignantly.
"I know you're a vampire, but I'm still faster than you. I was careful. I have hunted before, you know."
"Bred."
"For Gods' sakes, I'm barely showing. There isn't a big belly to slow me down or anything. I'm okay, Buck, really."
"No."
"No, what?"
"Alone."
She frowns, sipping delicately on a squirrel before she hands the carcass to Bucky, who gobbles it up despite the fact he is still glowering in her direction. Neither of them back down. She crosses her arms. Bucky gets to two feet and looms over her. She glares harder, Bucky bares his teeth. She widens her stance and puffs out her chest; he pushes down a tree just because he can.
"Leave the trees alone."
"Stay."
She deflates. She must be able to sense how much Bucky loathes the idea of her going off by herself.
"I will. I'm sorry, okay? I've been feeling overwhelmed. I went for a swim to calm down and didn't ask you because-"
"Can't," Bucky says for her, hanging his head even though he still stands on two legs.
"Yeah. But I am sorry. I won't go so far away again."
Bucky lets out a weary sigh and drops down to four legs, licking her arm. She drops to her knees and sinks her fingers into Bucky's warm fur. He leans on her, soaking up her scent. She scratches the spot he loves best, and Bucky begins to purr. When she buries her face in Bucky's shoulder, he cannot help the whine that leaves his mouth. He feels hot. She smells so nice.
"Want," he says, pressing his snot into her belly.
"Again? If I'd have known me being pregnant would get you all hot, I wouldn't have bothered with this whole thing."
"What!?"
"Yeah, you're exhausting me."
"Horny," says Bucky, scowling again.
"I'm not nearly as much as you are."
"Are."
"Tell you what, should we keep count how many times each of us asks?"
Bucky huffs, rolling onto his belly and batting his eyelashes, trying to look enticing. He wiggles his paws cutely.
“C'mon.”
“Oh, no. This is not Crete, and I am not Europa.”
Bucky sighs. “Bull.”
“Yes, thank you, I know it was a bull, but you understand what I mean."
They stare at each other for a few seconds.
“Pets,” Bucky suggests.
Her eyes narrow at him.
“Only pets,” she says, pointing a finger warningly.
“Pets,” Bucky reassures.
She agrees, still looking unconvinced that she isn’t about to be thrust into some ancient mythology tale where the woman gets tricked by a man disguised as an animal and scoots up to sit by Bucky’s enormous head. Before she starts petting his ears again, her hands pause long enough for her to say:
“I’m not petting below your neck."
Bucky whines, pouting and nudging her hands with his snout.
“No,” she says firmly. “It’s too weird. I’ve had pet dogs before, Buck. It would be like I'm. Ugh, I can't even finish that sentence.”
“Married,” he says.
“I don’t care that we are married. Right now, you are a wolf."
"Half."
"You have fur and a snout. That means wolf to me."
Bucky rolls his eyes the best that he can with his wolf face as he gets to his feet. He licks her, and she makes a face, gagging when she smells his breath.
"You smell like dead animals," she complains.
"Kiss," Bucky cajoles, "Please?"
"Not while you're like this."
Bucky fixes his best alpha look in her direction, but she is undeterred as she turns away from him. She crosses her arms and stares at something Bucky can't see. She stares for so long that Bucky gets wiggly and bumps his head against her. She sets her jaw and ignores him. Bucky whimpers, nosing her neck. He wants her to pay attention to him. He'll be as charming as possible, he decides. Bucky flops onto his back, rolling in the grass with his tongue lolling. When he rolls over her feet, she doesn't even flinch. He wiggles his paws and gives her his best puppy dog look. He wags his tail and races around a tree, but still, she stays, steadfastly looking at anything but him. He finally gives in, though it's more because he wants to touch her with five fingers instead of paws.
“Turn,” he says.
“Ha. I win."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
Bucky slips behind a tree to shift back, not wanting her to see how painful it feels even when she knows it is anyway. (Her being the 'alpha' in bed is vastly different than her seeing him vulnerable in other areas of their life. Bucky's hindbrain is scared that she will catch him in a moment of weakness one day and leave him to find someone stronger. This is something he will never tell her for fear it will come true).
A particularly painful crack of bone has him whimpering, and he yelps. She hears him and calls out.
"'M'kay," he slurs with his mouth half shifted.
The grass rustles, and she lays her hand on Bucky's back when the shift is over. He pants, feeling his stomach roll.
"Are you okay?"
Bucky nods but then throws up in the grass.
"Oh, Buck," she says, wiping his face.
"Can't change back so quick after drinkin' blood, I guess," he says.
"Let's head for home." She helps Bucky up. "Come on, let's get some water, okay?"
"'Sposed to be takin' care a' you," he grumbles.
"You do," she says gently. "All the time. Remember how I spent the early evening with my head in the toilet last night? Who was the one that held my hair and wiped my face?"
"Me," says Bucky.
His alpha is unhappy in the back of his head, but the reminder that he had cared for her all last night as she threw up from the twins makes him feel a bit better.
Reaching the house, she helps Bucky through the back door and deposits him in the bathroom as she busies herself with getting him a glass of water. Bucky hears her drop a piece of toast in the toaster as he brushes his teeth. He sighs. She's the one who is bred. She is the one that's going to get so huge that she can't do anything. Bucky should be out gathering food for her, damn it. Not lounging here lazily as his belly sloshes with nausea.
"Toast?" she says, offering a plate.
"Thanks."
She has gotten only minutely better at cooking. The toast is charcoal on one side and barely done on the other, but Bucky takes it anyway, flopping down onto the sofa. His hindbrain doesn't want to hurt its omega's feelings, after all. She sits next to him, and Bucky leans in. She flips on the television to their newest obsession, and they sit together as Bucky finishes his toast and drinks his water until his stomach settles.
"This is scripted," Bucky says once he feels better.
"It has to be. Why would anyone willingly go live in the Alaskan wilderness?"
"For money. These guys are prob'ly rich as hell."
"I cannot believe you convinced me to get a television; it's so dumb," she says even though she is staring intently at the screen. "I don't get it."
"Reality TV is dumb."
"Why did she smear herself with mud? How does that help with hunting? And why is she stomping so loudly?"
"Hey, we all aren't apex predators."
"Still. If you live so far removed from civilization, you should definitely know better."
Bucky grins, kissing her cheek.
"What?" she asks.
"Nothin.' You're cute."
She turns to face Bucky, bending forward to press their lips together. Her voice is muffled when she next speaks.
"Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah," says Bucky, pushing her down until she is flat on the couch.
He hovers, holding himself up so as not to hurt her.
"You even know how pretty you are?" Bucky mumbles, nuzzling into her neck. "All blushin’ an’ pretty with your belly startin’ to poke out lookin' like everythin’ I’ve ever dreamed of?"
She smiles as Bucky pulls his head back and kisses her forehead. She ghosts her fingers down Bucky's neck, and he purrs, forgetting that his mouth still might taste awful as he kisses her. She wraps her hand around Bucky's head, making him shiver. She has gotten colder these past few months.
"Gonna be so pretty when you're a mom. Can I call you Ma?"
“Yes, but I’m not a mother yet."
“I know, but you will be. An', you know, you can call me Daddy if you want.”
“Hard pass."
“Worth a shot." Bucky puts a hand on her cheek. "Gods, my beautiful wife, look at you. I'm the luckiest asshole on this gods-damn planet to have found you.”
She looks awkward at all the praise, but that has never really deterred Bucky before. He'll tell her how perfect she is as many times as he wants to. Besides, she hasn't told him to stop.
“So fuckin' pretty. You're gonna get so big that you won’t be able to move, you know.” Bucky's gaze drops to her mouth. “But you don’t gotta worry. I’ll take care of everythin', just like I promised. You don’t gotta lift a finger."
She leans up to wrap her arms around Bucky’s neck. He shoots her a grin, and she flicks her tongue on his lower lip. Of course, he kisses her. It is the kind of kiss that leaves Bucky dazed, and when she opens her mouth to slip her tongue out to join his, he groans, holding her tighter. She traces her sharp little tongue over both pairs of his fangs, and Bucky shakes with the feeling of it, desire already skittering up his spine. His arms shake. His dick rubs against her hip, making him gasp into her mouth.
“Baby,” Bucky whines, pressing kisses to her jaw. “Can I take ya to bed? Please, Ma?"
She is nodding before Bucky even gets all of the words out. He kisses her again, just because he can, and clambers to his feet. He lifts her with ease, his hands around her waist, and she throws her legs around Bucky’s hips. She tucks her head into the crease between his shoulder and neck. Bucky begins to speed walk up the stairs. She seems in the mood to tease him as she starts rubbing her face all over Bucky’s scent glands. He drops a hand to her ass and spanks her.
“Careful, unless you want me to fuck ya against a wall,” Bucky says.
"Promise?"
“Only if you behave yourself.”
She pulls her face away from Bucky’s neck, and he nips at her chin.
“D'you promise you’ll be good for me an' lemme play with ya for as long as I want?” Bucky says.
“I promise."
“Thatta girl. I hope you like the bedroom."
"What did you do?"
"See for yourself."
Bucky pushes open the door, dropping her to the carpet so that she can explore. He hears her hitch a breath as she looks around, and Bucky feels shy. New blankets are piled artfully on the bed. Pillows of every size spill from the bed to the floor, and Bucky had propped the comfiest one he could find against the bed to turn it into a sort of chair that she could sit in as she read the books piled around the bed. A huge teddy bear leans against the bedside table. Blankets and curtains hide the bed and the small reading area from prying eyes, and soft white lights line the outside, lighting it up perfectly. Everything smells like Bucky, and he bites his lip, nervous for her reaction. He has never had to build a nest like this before. And maybe she doesn't need such an elaborate setup, not really, but Bucky wanted to do this small thing for her.
“Well? D'you like it?”
“It's beautiful."
“Yeah?”
“It is,” she says, her eyes shining. “It looks so lush."
"I tried," Bucky says, digging his toe into the carpet.
"You succeeded. But what's the occasion?"
"It's a nest."
"Oh. But what was wrong with the other one you made?"
"That was a normal nest for ruts an' stuff. This is a nest-nest. Because you're pregnant."
"Right. Do- Do I have to give birth here?"
Bucky smiles.
"Not unless you wanna. It's just in case you gotta go on bed rest or somethin.'"
"That makes sense." She starts fiddling with the button on her pants before she stops, noticing something. "Wait, did you get me a Djungelskog? Are you kidding me?"
"You speak Swedish?" Bucky asks, pulling her shirt over her head as she gets distracted.
"Sort of. Thor's been teaching me."
"You talk to Thor?"
"Occasionally. He's nice." She leans on the bear as Bucky kisses her shoulder. "This bear is huge."
"You like him?"
"Mhm, he's quite majestic."
"I thought so too. What are you gonna name him?"
"I don't know. What do you think?"
"Beorn," says Bucky decisively, grabbing her hips and turning her around.
"The hobbit guy from Lord of the Rings?" she asks, wrinkling her nose.
Bucky pecks her wrinkled nose and debates calling her cute again but decides against it.
"No. He's a skin-changer who turns into a bear. Bear, Beorn, see?" he explains.
"We might as well call him Björn."
"That's just 'bear' in Swedish. Dumb."
"Hey, get your own Djungelskog and leave mine alone."
Bucky presses a kiss to the top of her head. When she leans into it, he smiles, lighting up. She is everything Bucky has ever wanted. He would do anything to make sure she was happy for the rest of their lives. He hopes she lets him kiss her forever.
"You should just call him that."
"Good idea," she agrees, pulling him into a heated kiss.
When they break apart, Bucky asks:
"You like everything, though, right?"
"Very much. It's such a nice nest, Buck. Thank you for making it for me."
"Lay on the bed, omega. Lemme look at you."
She crawls onto the bed and falls down onto the collection of pillows at the top. Tugging a bit of blanket up to her nose, she sniffs it. Bucky feels a bolt of heat shoot through him seeing her act like an omega, comforted by her alpha's protective scent while she's pregnant and unable to fight at full capacity.
"Smells like you," she says shyly, still sniffing.
Bucky undresses before following her.
“I rolled around for a while to make sure. Tells everyone to back off."
He stops climbing once he reaches her chest and notices that her nipples are puffy and pink. They’re colder than the rest of her skin, and Bucky fusses as she whimpers in pain when he pinches one.
"Your nipples are puffy,” he murmurs. “They hurtin’ you bad, Ma?”
She nods.
"I tried everything."
"Won’t do nothin’. You need me to kiss on ‘em. That’ll make ‘em feel better.”
“Are you... offering to suck on my nipples?”
“Yeah. That okay?"
They blink at each other.
"Yes."
Bucky kisses the nipple he tweaked in apology when he hears that. She pets his hair, combing through the tangles. She smiles, syrupy sweet and just so damn pretty that Bucky’s next breath leaves him fast and heavy like he’d been punched in the chest. He noses at her breast, kissing underneath it and nuzzling the softness.
“I’ll take care a’ you,” Bucky promises yet again. “I’ll do anythin' for you. Just ask me an' it's yours."
“For me too, you know? This isn't a one-sided relationship."
“I know, sunshine."
Bucky kisses in between her breasts, right where her heartbeat would be. He rubs his finger over her nipple, just to see if it leaks milk, but she hisses, trying to wiggle away.
“I know what you need. Lay back, okay?"
When she looks relaxed, Bucky places his warmer hands over her breasts. Her body is so cold now that she's pregnant, too cold even for her to deal with, and the heat from Bucky's hands relieves the burn.
"Thanks," she says.
She melts into the mattress, looking so soft and pretty that it takes all of Bucky's willpower to not slip inside her. Instead, he leans forward and darts his tongue out, licking quick. He flicks his eyes up, waiting, and she agrees with a hum. Bucky sucks a nipple into his mouth. She mouths his name, her hands flying into his hair.
“There she is,” Bucky muffles. “You're so beautiful like this. Gonna lemme help you when your milk comes in? Gonna lemme kiss ‘em all nice? Bet I could make you come from just that, huh?”
"Gods, Buck."
"You'd lemme, right?"
She hides her face in her hands. "Yeah."
"Don't be so shy, sunshine." Bucky grins widely. "It's just me. We've done worse."
"What would it even taste like, though?"
"I dunno. Blood, maybe?"
"Gross."
"Good thing I'm a vamp an' I like blood."
Bucky's hand trails down her body and stops between her legs. His grin turns into a look of surprise and then a knowing smirk.
“This all 'cause of me?” he asks.
“You know it is,” she frowns, arching her back when he thumbs at her clit.
Bucky leans down and sucks her nipple in his mouth again as he pushes three fingers inside. She sighs his name, dissolving deeper into the mattress. Encouraged, Bucky sucks on her nipples, alternating between them. He curls his fingers up at the same time that he gives a suck, and her fingers curl into the blankets.
“This good for ya?” Bucky purrs. “I'm gonna get my tongue up between your legs an’ lick you all clean after this. Then fuck you so good that you’ll pass right out. Wake up, fuck ya again. How does that sound?”
“So good."
Her hips start rolling in time with the movement of Bucky’s fingers.
“That’s it, honey. Keep ridin’ my fingers. You’re almost there."
Her hands grip his hair, and she yanks his neck back with a hiss. Bucky growls, satisfied, and rubs his hard dick on her hip. He’s leaking already, smearing all over her skin. Bucky thumbs at her clit, tweaking it in the way that he knows she likes the best when she’s like this. She’s letting out quiet noises as he makes her breathless.
“So close for me,” Bucky says. “Thatta girl. C’mon, come for me, sunshine."
"Mm," she hums, pinching her eyes closed.
Bucky presses down on the soft inside of her at the same time that he bites her nipple. She comes as he sinks his teeth in, and Bucky watches her with dark, hungry eyes as she spills on their sheets and halfway down his arm.
“Shit, yeah,” Bucky snarls. “That’s my girl. Come all over me.”
It takes her a few minutes to stop shaking. While he waits for her to come down, Bucky climbs out of their nest and grabs a towel from the adjoining bathroom. He cleans her up the best he can with the cloth and then gives it up to his baser instincts and licks her clean. While he’s licking her inner thigh, he feels eyes on him and looks up to see that she’s looking back, pink staining her cheeks. He slips up her body, kissing her sweetly as he goes.
“What’sa matter?” he asks, stroking her nose.
“I can't feel my limbs."
Bucky can’t help it; he bursts out laughing. He grabs her by the waist and flips them over, licking at her breasts and giggling.
“Stop laughing; I���m serious! What did you do to me?"
“It’s.” Bucky snorts. He clears his throat and schools his face into a more appropriate expression. “C’mon, you’ve come like that before. You did it a few days ago.”
“But why can't I feel my arms?"
“You’re so sensitive now, baby." Bucky preens a little. “An’ I don’t wanna take all the credit, but I’m damn good at gettin’ you off, so. Ain’t the last time that’s gonna happen. I'm expectin’ waterfalls next time."
“All right, all right, all right. Settle down, Casanova.”
She blinks down at him with a soft sigh. Bucky scents the air and smells how tired she is.
“Give me two seconds," she says.
“Sh, no. You’re exhausted right now. Besides, I, uh, kinda came while all that was goin' on."
"Oh. Well, that makes me feel special."
"As it should. But don't tell anybody."
"Of course," she agrees, nodding. "Can't let anyone know how nice you are."
Bucky narrows his eyes.
"Ha," he says.
"'M funny," she tells him as he gathers her up in his arms.
She winces when her tender nipples brush against Bucky's pecs, and he puts his hands on her chest. He kisses the side of her head.
"You're lucky you're cute," he tells her.
"I know being 'nice' doesn't a good alpha make."
"Hey, I can be nice. I just don't go around announcin' it."
"Mhm. Because most pack leaders aren't."
"All right, all right, stop talkin' an' go to sleep."
"Yes, sir," she says primly.
Bucky shakes her until he has her laughing. With a lively growl, he rolls them over and over in their bed until he rolls them right off the side and onto a pile of pillows below.
"Ah, you almost squished Djungelskog!" she cries. "Be careful."
"What about me an' my delicate fuckin' feelings? Don't I matter?"
"Djungelskog didn't do anything. You, on the other hand, are a different story."
Bucky pouts, burying his face in her breasts. "You're really hurtin' my feelings callin' me mean an' then pretendin' not to care that my feelings are hurt. Makes you mean."
"I'm sorry," she says, not sounding very sorry, but she kisses Bucky's hand. "Would it make you feel better if I held you down as I gave you a blowjob?"
Bucky peeks up at her.
"Maybe."
"Good, get on the bed. Let me take the reins for a while. And then you can baby me if you want."
"Yes, please," says Bucky, scrambling to meet her on the bed.
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-漫~*'¨¯¨'*·舞~ 𝕾𝖔𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖓 𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖊𝖕𝖘 𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘 ~舞*'¨¯¨'*·~漫-
Well well well, today we have four creeps on the roster: Brian Thomas, Tim Wright, Jane Arkansaw, and Kate "the Chaser" Hayes.
𝐵𝓇𝒾𝒶𝓃 𝒯𝒽𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓈 / 𝐻𝑜𝑜𝒹𝓎
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Brian hails from the Tuscaloosa, Alabama area.
He's a Southern gentleman and his Mama raised him to be polite and respectful.
Calls his sweetie: darlin', sugar, sunshine (for you, Elsie), puddin', pumpkin or punkin, sugar drop, sweetcheeks, chickie (if you're a girl), teddy boy (if you're a guy) and babycakes.
He likes outside dates the most, hiking in the woods, picnics in a random field he found.
He tries to take you hunting (every country boy's dream date) but it broke his heart when he bagged a huge buck and he looked up and saw tears in your eyes as you stood in front of his kill and watched it bleed.
So the next time he went out for work, he brought you back your favorite food, and a rabbit that he'd managed to catch (it was still alive, unhurt, and SO cute with it's almost blonde fur. You named her Blondie and kept her as a pet. Brian paid for its vet visit)
But boys will be boys... The next time Brian went out hunting, he brought you back an honest to God, severed squirrel's tail and assured you he'd only cut the tail off after he started skinning it and that he'd shot it in the eye so it didn't feel a thing 😖.
Still, that tail is one of your prized possessions. You didn't want the squirrel's death to be for nothing.
Surprisesd you Christmas morning with a pair of boots he'd had made from multiple squirrel kills. They are the warmest boots you've ever had.
One hell of a cook.
Between him and his mother, you would get fat if Brian didn't take you exercising with him.
That's right, he took you to meet his Mama and he's a proud mamas boy.
You saw a picture of Brian in an Eagle Scout uniform. He was at least 15 in it. Of course he'd be an Eagle Scout, Boy Scouts are too mundane 🙄
Hoody doesn't talk much, he's more of an actions guy.
But it always throws you to hear Brian's Southern twang when you hear it filtered through that damn voice changer he uses.
Hoody is a campfire guy. Nothing makes him happier and more at peace than to hold you in his lap in front of a crackling fire.
Sometimes he throws in a Mystical Fire packet, either in blue, green or purple
Smells like the woods, fabric softener, wood smoke, and vanilla
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Ahh 😌
𝓣𝓲𝓶 𝓦𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 / 𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓴𝔂
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Like Brian, Tim is also from the Tuscaloosa area.
He's not quite as outdoorsy as Brian, at least not in the woods.
Tim is more of a city boy
Parks, mini golf, I feel like Tim would also like kayaking, canoeing, swimming (the man stays hot) in the summer and hot tubs in winter.
Calls you: sunshine,honeypot, baby girl/boy, sweetie, buttercup, and pussyfoot. And your name cos... It's your name 😐
Dilf Time hours are open 🟢
This man is Master of the Grill™
He can take anything and make it taste professionally grilled with only salt and pepper.
Steals steaks from big corporation grocery stores by putting them under a case of water (don't do this! (And if you do, you didn't learn it from me, and no, I've never done this)).
Even grills fruits and vegetables. His favorite is grilled pineapple.
Sometimes he makes burgers and when you take a bite, you learn he's stuffed it with baked beans, or mild salsa and cheese, etc.
Claims he's a visionary.
Smells like: cinnamon, cloves, buttered rum, automotive grease, and cigarette smoke.
Very Hank Hill when it comes to his lawn. He starts mowing in the morning hours before it gets too hot, and is so particular that he measures the grass with his tape measure.
If he's not happy with the length, he pulls out his toolbox and makes minute adjustments to the mower and starts again
He doesn't have a riding mower either, just a push one.
Then he gets out his weed eater and completely loses himself in the lawncare role.
Loses track of time weedeating, trimming the bushes, power washing the driveway and the garage floor.
Speaking of garage, Tim refuses to have his car worked on by anyone but him. You ended up having to buy special soap to get the grease off of his hands after he ruined 4 of your favorite shirts and your most comfortable shorts. You still have them, but so aren't wearing the pink shorts out with Tim's handprints on your ass.
"Hey honey pot" he mumbles into your neck as his hands reach around and palm both of your ass cheeks.
"Tim, did you wash the grease I smell off your hands?"
"Uhhh... No?"
Finally comes in around noon dripping with sweat and you find him with his head in the refrigerator.
He always picks the tiniest bouquet of buttercups and gives them to you. Buttercups for his buttercup 💛
Also likes to kick back in front of a fire with you, but his fires are always in either his fire pit that he built out in the back yard, or in the fireplace inside.
Will serenade you in front of said fire with his ukulele, or his acoustic guitar.
His favorite songs to sing to you are "Angels Flying too Close to the Ground" by Willie Nelson, or "Outlaw Shit (Getting Out of Hand)" by Waylon Jennings. (These are both great old country songs and I think the Jennings one sums up how tired Tim feels).
𝓙𝓪𝓷𝓮 𝓐𝓻𝓴𝓪𝓷𝓼𝓪𝔀 / 𝓙𝓪𝓷𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓚𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓻
Masky is just a huge quiet presence, but if he's out with you and a guy treats you rudely, he's gonna light them up.
Tim speaks in the currency of "Yankee dimes"
A Yankee dime is "a kiss on the cheek from your sweetheart"
"Tim, honey, could you grab the clothes from the dryer?"
"What'll you give me for it?"
"Hmm two Yankee dimes and some sugar."
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Okay so I know Jane already lived in the town where Jeff lived, across the street. And I go from the reboot in Mandeville, LA
But I like to think Jane wasn't actually from Louisiana, she just moved there from Texas.
So Jane is also pretty big into Southwestern style foods and texmex food.
She's also a lesbian , sorry boys.
Jane is One Hot Mama™
She calls you: Shug, honey, pet, precious, gem, princess, angel, sweet pea, toots, peach, honey bunch, and cher (short for cherie)
Smells like apple blossoms
Jane's parents made her attend cotillion classes in middle school, so Jane can definitely play the part of Southern debutant.
Jane tries to keep a good balance of time spent at home with you, and time spent in public.
It's just a little hard, given her... Proclivities and hobbies, along with all her scars. That mask gets HOT!
Jane likes to spend time at home with you
She never really had the chance to learn a lot of baking skills from her mom, but she's trying to learn.
She just learned how to make an set the perfect latticed top apple pie crust!
You were both so excited and didn't want to cut it because it was so pretty.
Jane likes to read to you in a hammock that she set up in the side yard.
She can't wait until the day she can call you her wife. She has a binder that she's been keeping since she was a little girl, containing everything she needs for the perfect wedding.
Likes to have tea parties with the neighborhood kids. It reminds her of a simpler time.
𝓚𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓜𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓼 / 𝓚𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓼𝓮𝓻
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I headcanon that Kate is of Cajun descent
She has family in New Orleans
But she pronounces it "N'Ahlens"
Kate's cure for any ailment is food. Sad? Here's some jambalaya. Sick? Eat this pepper., it'll clear your sinuses.
Of course she always keeps something on hand to combat the spicy food.
She calls orange cream popsicles "The Remedy"
Actually, she has a ton of different popsicle flavors. She buys the big bags of assorted flavors, in regular and tropical flavors.
She doesn't mind the Southern heat, but she hates getting too hot, preferring cool, dark places.
Your home is kitted out with blackout curtains and stays a cool 65° in the nonwinter months.
Kate calls you flower themed names in both English and French, even if you're male (I don't write the news, I just report it.) Examples:
Ma bouton d'or- buttercup
Ma muflier- my snapdragon
Ma campanule- my bellflower
Ma jonquille- my daffodil
Ma marguerite- my daisy
Ma rose trémière- hollyhock
Ma pivoine- my peony
Ma coquelicot- my poppy
Ma primevère- my primrose
Ma tournesol- my sunflower
Smells like: after the rain, jasmine, and leather soap
I feel like Kate has some abandonment issues, so if you're her SO, she's going to cling to you tightly
Be patient with her. Due to traumas as a proxy, she thinks everyone is out to get her.
She'll hear a noise in the middle of the night and is up and armed and finding it.
She sleeps with a knife under her pillow (sheathed of course), and she has other weapons hidden all throughout the house.
Many nights, you're woken by her cradling you to her body, hand over your mouth and a finger to her lips as he stares into the darkness, listening.
After a few tense moments, you'll feel her relax and take her hand from your mouth.
She's gonna hold on to you for a while though.
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😅 this is my first time writing for Kate and Jane really. I hope I did them justice
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queenxxxsupreme · 3 years
Note
I 've recently found your writing and I'm so glad I did!! You're incredible, and I absolutely love the way you write Arthur in an established relationship. There's so much fic about the excitement and will-they-wont-they of a new relationship, but it's so sweet to see a dynamic with Arthur and someone who just knows him so well. New love is fun and world shifting, but there's nothing like the old comfort of a love that it backed by time <3 Idk if you still take requests but consider this one!
A/N: I wasn’t too sure if this was what you meant or not, but I did an established relationship with Arthur. This is just fluffy morning softness with him. If this isn’t what you meant and I completely got it wrong, please let me know! I’ll definitely get to work on a new one! It won’t hurt my feelings at all if I did interpret it the wrong way and you would like another one! (I love writing for Arthur he makes me happy)
***
The sun was just beginning to shine through the thick treetops that surrounded Horseshoe Overlook. Birds chirped in the trees and a few squirrels scurried around just to your left in the bushes.
You sat at a table with a cup of coffee and one of your favorite books in hand. It was early in the morning, far too early for most of the camp to be up but a few of the older members such as Mrs. Grimshaw and Herr Strauss were awake. 
Over the years, you’d grown accustomed to waking up bright and early with Arthur Morgan. You liked to see him off on his busy days when Dutch or Hosea had him running half away across the state for a job. And on the days where he wasn’t needed immediately, you enjoyed sitting with him for breakfast or coffee. 
“Good morning, Y/N.” Hosea greeted you as he passed by your table to get to the pot of coffee.
“Morning, Hosea.” You gave him a smile.
He migrated back to his tent, choosing to sit at the table nearest to the tent while he looked over a map. You silently wondered if whatever it was he was planning would involve Arthur. 
The sudden feeling of something big behind you almost made you jump. But the hands on your shoulders let you know exactly who it was. He rubbed circles into your shoulders with his thumbs, leaning down to kiss the top of your head.
“Mmhm. Your hair smells good.” Arthur hummed. 
You tilted your head back to look at him, a smile coming to your lips.
“Good morning, handsome.”
“Good mornin’, pumpkin.” He dipped his head down to kiss between your brows. “How’s the coffee today?” 
Arthur began to reach for your cup of coffee sitting on the table. 
“You won’t like that.” You tried to warn him, but he was already taking a drink of the hot beverage.
He cringed, placing the cup back on the table and bringing the back of his hand to his mouth. 
“Now you know very well that you wouldn’t like that, Arthur.” You looked up at him. “I put sugar in mine.”
“Yeah, yeah. I don’t like sugar.” He muttered, pulling a chair around the table so he could sit closer to you. “I was hopin’ after all these years you’d come to your senses.”
“And drink that bitter shit you drink? No thank you.” You giggled. “You want me to get you a cup?”
“I’ll get one here in a second.” Arthur shook his head, looking around camp. “Who’s awake?”
“Strauss and Susan are up and chatting over by the cliff.” You nodded towards the north end of camp. “Hosea’s over there at the table and earlier I saw Dutch come out of his tent for a minute but I think he must’ve gone back to sleep. It’s been pretty still all morning.”
Arthur nodded. 
“You didn’t sleep much last night.” He spoke quietly, leaning forward on his elbows. This put him closer to you. 
“Tossed and turned a lot.” You closed your book and picked up your coffee. 
“I know. I could feel the bed move every time you threw yourself around.” He chuckled a little. “What kept you up?”
You shook your head, not wanting to bother him with your worries.
He reached over to take your coffee from you, gently prying it out of your hands.
“Come on, pumpkin. What was it?”
“You know how I get.” You shrugged your shoulders. “When Dutch mentions his ideas and plans at night, I don’t sleep. Don’t think neither of us really do but I…. I just…. Since Blackwater, I haven’t been able to sleep.”
Arthur’s brows were furrowed together softly as he looked at you. 
“I’m worried about us, Arthur.” You admitted. 
He stayed silent, lips pressed together in a line. 
“I got a bad feelin’ in my stomach. Blackwater was bad, Arthur.”
He nodded a little and reached over to take one of your hands away from your coffee. He brushed his thumb over your knuckles, eyes focusing on a scar that ran across the back of your hand. 
“Blackwater went sour, but sometimes that happens, pumpkin. Sometimes jobs don’t go how we planned. You remember that job we did back in Montana in ‘82?”
A small smile crept on to your lips. 
“That was ages ago.”
“Sure feels like it.” Arthur chuckled. “We found a rancher to steal from.”
“If I remember correctly, I found a rancher to steal it from. You messed it up.” You poked his chest, your tone teasing. 
“I know. I know.” Arthur muttered, adjusting his hat. “Just ‘cause you had to flirt with the old bastard didn’t mean I was gonna sit by and let him about you like you were some saloon girl.”
You spent a week flirting your way into the pocket of a rich rancher in Montana while Arthur played an up and coming rancher from out of town. On the night that you were supposed to rob the mark, Arthur went out for drinks with the rancher and you while you accompanied the rancher as his date. Soon, the rancher and his friends were drunk and their gentlemanly charm had vanished. The second they started practically harassing you, Arthur dropped the act and start throwing his fists. 
“You walked out of there with a broken nose” You reached over to cup his face, brushing your thumb along the bridge of his nose. 
“And somehow, you managed to get that scar on the back of your hand and another on your arm.” Arthur sighed. “Didn’t mean for it to happen like that, but sometimes jobs go sideways and we can’t always see it until it happens.”
“But Arthur, that was back when it was just us and Hosea and Dutch. Now we have three times that many people to worry about and look after.” You furrowed your brows together. “Dutch has got to see it ain’t all about the money. Sure some of us may not have much more time left on the clock, but we got some young people too. Jack, Tilly, Mary-Beth, Lenny, Karen, Sean, and now Kieran too…. We need to think about how what we do will affect them in the long run.”
Arthur chuckled softly, looking down for a moment.
“What are you laughin’ at, Arthur Morgan?” 
“You, pumpkin. I think it’s adorable when you play mother hen.” He kissed your forehead. “Pumpkin, they’re young but they are grown ass people. They can make their own decisions.”
“Just like you did when you were their age?” You raised your brows. “Look where it’s gotten you, Mr. Morgan. Sitting in a bum camp living like someone who ain’t got nothin’ to live for.”
“And look who’s sittin’ right beside me in this bum camp.” He tapped the outsides of your thighs. You laughed softly, knowing you walked straight into that one.
“I’m sittin’ here ‘cause I followed some fool with blue eyes and a heart of gold all the way from out west” You muttered. “Ended up findin’ the love of my life too.”
Arthur gazed at you for a few moments, his chest warming up with your words. 
“Anyways, I wouldn’t change any of the choices that I made when I was their age.” He leaned back in his chair, rubbing his nose and crossing his arms. 
“Oh yeah?” You stood up to get him a cup of coffee. “Why not?”
“‘Cause I found the biggest pain in my ass in the whole damn country when I was their age.” His eyes followed you. 
You handed him the cup of coffee, warning him that it was still pretty warm. Before you could move back to your seat, his hand took yours, keeping you by his chair. 
“My pumpkin….” His eyes focused on that scar on the back of your hand again. “She’s been with me through thick and thin, and even when I haven’t been so kind to her.”
“We all make mistakes, Arthur.” You reminded him. You knew he was talking about the few times you two had broken up and he started a relationship with Mary Linton. “Only thing that matters is you came back to me.”
You took his hat off of his head so you could kiss his forehead. 
“Love you, pumpkin.” He spoke quietly, letting your hand go so you could return to your seat.
“Love you more, Arthur.” You gave him a smile, replacing his hat on his head. 
You sat down and picked up your cup of coffee to take a sip. 
Arthur’s eyes flickered over to Dutch’s tent. Molly was pinning the lapels back, meaning that the two were waking up. 
“We’re gonna be just fine, pumpkin.” Arthur told you, nodding his head a little. 
“I know. We always are. Just doesn’t come easy sometimes.”
Taglist:  @doggone-cowgirl @winterwolf @lauramb7 @caraqas @bluscryn @krenee1drful @zodiacaldust @nonodino @gabstaroc @cal-lifornication @thefirelordm @sargeantsea @sokkasdarling @thecollection @mayday1284 
If your name is in italics, it wouldn’t let me tag you :(
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muffindaddystyles · 3 years
Text
Harry Styles x Barista!Reader.
Smut, pain kink and over-stimulation.
Mentions of past trauma and healing!
MASTERLIST, LETS TALK LOVIES!
Author's note: Your reblogs and appreciations means alot to me, token me a smile with your love.
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His breath smells of strawberries and coffee, plushie lips dangerously close to her's making her half voracious gaze flicker between his lips and up at Tofu, kiss him kiss him you bloody fool, reeled in her head, "here lemme . . ." He notices her jitteriness fetching the birdy for her. She hiccups with a suck of breath when his knuckles brushed the inside of her palms while giving Tofu to her.
"Oi, Harry budge over you bugger!!" She hisses with sleepy voice but in return he squishes her more.
OR
Y/N has a phobia for needles and Harry's her damsel in distress.
//
Something about bungalows not having stairs makes Y/N's cheeks puffs out in disappointing amazement. The fact she couldn't even climb at the rooftop when the summer sky's ornamented with cosmic stars twinkling with the each buzz of music from inside. She hiccups a giggle when the cool zephyr blew her frock away giving out a glimpse of her itty-bitties, glad no-one's in the diameter to have a show. The discernment falls to nothingness when she hears distinct rustle of someone behind the fat‐very-rooty-tree, it widens her eyes into saucers as she blinks comically.
It's not a squirrel she could tell. Couldn't be Ronny who went to take a wee cause all the darn washrooms inside were occupied and his bladder being the weakest, he went for a bush.
But, that bush's behind her and for a moment she forgot her friend even existed since she muted out his piss taking whistle a while ago.
All her frenzied assumptions fails when two figures camouflaged in the darkness tumbles from behind the tree. Her cheeks splashes with burning crimson when they separate with a loud, wet kissing noise and the two men doesn't seem any shy about it unlike Y/N who's foozling the frill of her dress as if she got caught in the middle of a fuck in public loo. Not that, it everrr happened with her, still she has an example set for such incidents.
"Oh, hi." The warble of unprevious voice wins in gaining her attention and she tries to squint through the pocosin of his eyes which glimmers under moonlight if she glances away too quick, she startles in her spot when a gruff voice speaks over them, "Ronny couldn't even occupy a shot of vodka in his bladder." She couldn't seem to flit her gaze away from his cherry of lips glistening from whatever activities they were having before (the only features she could see in such illumination) as the other guy and Ronny bantered off passing a cig in between them.
"Oi, shut up will ya." Ronny locks his arm with Y/N and she flinches that he hasn't even washed them yet, "c'mon truffles we don't wanna be here." He announces dragging her away and the humid air around them bubbled with chuckles.
"Huh." She quips all lost between the interaction and accidentally bumping into two beautiful men kissing eachother, she's totally jealous! Poor thing tries to jerk the mud from her toes and to have a last glimpse of the man with marble irirses.
"D'ya think I've a chance with that daddy-long- legs-one? Dunno, but he intimidates me so bad." Ronny whispers to her and she frowns sniffing with her already runny nose from being a bit tipsy, it's making her bouncy little by little and she knows the bevvys she had will have a full swing within the night, "why? He seems nice."
"His hotness truffles, it intimidates me." He scrapes his already chipped nail polish after washing his hands from the basin throwing towel at her face, she just sighs putting it back in the rack.
"How about you talk to him first." Parties has teeny perks of them and gigantic disadvantages 1) Ronny gets a school crush at every boy he looks at. 2) They get more sweaty, stinky, gluey and more wilder till the clock hits 4 am. Honestly, even if it wasn't for the free bevys she would have never stepped in.
"That's the hard part." They push people aside like stuffies getting cursed and groped in return.
"He's not gonna know himself, Ron, you dump-stick." Good she doesn't need to yell like before as the music has dimmed to a hum possibly about to shut down within minutes. Halting, beside some people crowded alongside the couch some sitting on it and their confused heads shots up at first at the sound of familiar vibrations.
The worst scenarios of someone having a bullet up in their hole and peeps around having a show passes for a mere sec in their heads, together, that's why they're friends since the first semester of UNI.
But, upon seeing what's the ruckus about Ronny shakes his head in utmost panic, "oh no . ." He tries to escape from her grip but she tugs him from collar, "Please Ronny, swear 'm ready to over come my fear! Nothing's gonna happen to me." They stand beside the guy sheepishly (like two elementary kids deciding who'll step inside the staff room first) a gun perched in his hand and Y/N realizes that he indeed's the same guy she met outside, this time she could see him properly and those hickorey of curls brushing the eternity of his popping clavicles.
His back to them but she could see the flex of his muscles from under the sheer black of his shirt with the each movement he does with his gun, she admits that he got prettier back than her.
"Ey Harry this's my friend Y/N and she wanna overcome her phobia of needles, be a damsel in distress pal." So, they know eachother. The whizz of gun stops midway and he dismisses the drunk dude under him tilting his chin to meet her eyes, and it was worth it as it took tiny gasp from her.
He's way beautiful than he was in the darkness.
Ronny was right. It daunts her a bit. The name Harry itself is some kind of royalty.
"Oh, hi there, again." He greets her with a warm smile and it glitter-glittery her insides, will you please not she scolds herself. It's probably the alchol her subconscious assures her but her nervousness from the idea of really doing this says otherwise.
"Have a seat, love." Oh holy goodness. He's as sober as judge and she at whole is miffed.
//
Harry isn't a popular senior. No. His charm's something that woos everyone and his name's always on the top list of invites, he avoids them though unless it's his closest friend. Him remaining to himself has casted a spell on everyone that his personality's intimidating and he's this sex god who has an only concern with fucking people.
He could be called a nerd from his grades everytime being higher than last semester but his attire and being a shining star of the Christmas tree gives it away.
Everyone likes him, ah-ah no everyone absolutely loves him. The thing's he has never felt the same in his twenty-one years of life and that's a fat bummer.
He just gives that "please stay away from me" aura, brows always sewn together and bottom lip jutted makes him appear rather passive aggressive to strangers (well the people who knows him loves him for being the most chill person walking around them).
Right now, he got a tat gun in his hand and everyone's getting a drunk tattoo for the remembrance of this stupid party or just that they've a kink for pain, possibly for humiliation too because what could a tattoo gotten in an unconscious state could bring you?
"Y'alright there?" He asks her and she bobs her head clamping her hands shut in her lap. The rainbow broch on his loafers intrigues her about his fashion senses, it makes her jealous she can't afford to have her own style, "Yeah!" She avoids to even give a spare glance to the gun in his hand because she knows the moment she'd, it will make her dizzy.
She feels bad for cliff hanging him to herself only but he doesn't seem to mind at all. Waits patiently for her to guard herself as Ronny pats her back like she's about to summo wrestle.
"Want me to start it?" He knows how bad it's for some people. Many times he had an encounter with weak hearted persons who got dragged into his parlour by their friends and ended up running away, "Can you give me a moment?" She lifts her head towards him and it makes his forehead knit into concerned lines.
The poor bug's giving a purple face as if she's about to throw up and her ears pink.
"Take all y'want, darlin'." His gentleness flows over her head, she thinks that the music has died or she has gone deaf, can't be neither, cause no-way that such a sweet call wouldn't make her toes all gooey.
"'M ready!" She puffs out a huge exhale moving her shaking wrist nearer to his grasp and he gives her a comforting look before wrapping his fingers one by one around her delicate wrist, skidding the stool he's been sitting on closer to her, "al'ight truffles 'ere we go — wouldn't hurt promise." He decides to stick with truffles since Ronny calls her with the nickname everytime he's at Harry's. Thought his blabbers of his friend were exaggerated coating of sugar but when she's sitting infront of him with those glinting eyes and soft flesh in which his lanky fingers seems to turn pudgy, he gets it why he calls her that.
He keeps on glancing up at her to see if she's okay — she has her hand placed atop Ronny's thigh while he distracts her with his "let's throw shade at mean bitches together" game and Harry just hovered the nib of it over her skin when she passed out but Ronny quickly placed his palm against her cheek to pull her back towards his shoulder.
"'M good . ." She comes back from it with a weak whsiper-y voice trying to straighten up but the instant her already blurry vision falls at the needle again making a line so small it isn't even visible she passes out again and this time Ronny seems unfazed talking to a girl beside him (trust the lad they've done it multiple times but the pain and fear of needles never let her have a single tattoo inked on her skin), leaving Harry to sweat over her.
Sighing he shuts down the machine putting it aside and presses the back of his hand against her forehead --- to be more appropriate, and when she remains as if in the land of nod completely knackered out and woolly in Ronny's arms he realizes that she has passed out for real.
"Truffles?" He doesn't get a response from her.
//
She puffers out her lips blowing raspberries gazing at the sunny sky from the clear glazed window of the shop, chin resting in the softness of her palm as the cosy hall of it emptied from the rush the time it striked noon. The start of her shift's always effete and warm with honey-bees buzzing over the pots of pastel flowers outside, but the evenings are most tiresome and she has to do the closing in a grumpy mood.
"Can you pass me the icing tube, forgot it under the counter shelf 'cos of that pain in ass customer." He's their regular. Has constant complaints that their tarts are too sugary and they need to thicken the formula for their lattes, Y/N just bobs her head at his tantrums finding a way to shoo him away with a promise of next time, "yeah uhh — " Gripping the edge of marble counter she squats down and giggles at herself as she looks funny with her knees making a tent of her ruffle frock.
The door-bell chimes indicating the presence of someone but she goes for her rampage knowing Cora's there to attend them and she was about to pull her head back when she hit it quite painfully against the upper shelf, "Ow!!" She squeaks rubbing the sore spot stabling herself while Cora chuckled taking the tube from her hand to go inside.
She never expected someone to occur at this hour, moreso, she never expected someone like him to pop out of nowhere at their shop. He just doesn't seem like a person to have a merry making at little cosy cafés all to himself, it's been driving her crazy, she cringes at herself everytime when the humiliation of passing out infront of him invades her thoughts.
Half of her heart wanted to see him again and other half was glad she never bumped in him — but seems like nature was evily against her.
"Oops hi!" When she couldn't fiddle with anything she adjusts her frilly apron and with her wrist brushes her loose tresses away which her bow failed to keep. He blinks for several times sipping in the consequence, though it gives her time to take in his appearance.
He's yet again, wearing a sheer shirt with white flower buds spiraling from his abs towards the broad of his chest displaying his inked skin underneath beautifully — it shimmers every time he shifts on his feet letting the sunlight fall on him. His curls tamed and silkier than before, he groomed himself too good it puts Y/N to shame for being a girl, a careless one.
"You work here?" He asks with a drawl as if he has a all the time to dedicate to her, "nope just broke in to do a fat robbery — wanna join?" He cackles, hard it quelled his tummy and it also made her smile blushy-ly that he didn't find her humour boring.
"Okie . . S' what you'll have?" Brassing the belly of his nose he clears his throat roaming his eyes to catch a perfect spot, "'s okay if'll be waitin' fo' someone there?" He points at the nook aligned with the fuchsia coloured book shelves, wooden pots hanging and embroidered throw pillows piled and some overflowing from the love seats.
"Totally!!" She chirps. The thought of him waiting for a date sinks summat a tiny globe of mud in her stomach and dunno why — She wishes she could've things that other people have without burning themselves in effort unlike her.
She watches him getting comfortable, scrutinising around with curious and adorable big peepers. He'd give her a shy smile everytime he'd catch her staring and she'd just shake her head treating her back to track, that he's on a date, but not with you.
She didn't forgot to ask him if he needs anything putting a glass of water at his coffee table without him requesting, it's perpetually hot and even her throat'd get dry after some minutes. He's been here for two hours and even though the weather cooled down spotting pearly drops of rain, perspiration still beaded at his forehead.
The bustle of on goers kept on dying and she feels bad for him, knowing the end of it, she's been there before many times. Even visualised it at this same shop far more she should thinking the world's kind enough to even let their date know with q single message.
Sensing his timorousness she paddles towards him getting a coconut cookie from the jar, onto the plate and sliding it in his line of vision. He seems flustered — everytime they've interacted she's the one to be not in one place and now he's ripping the threads of his tattered skinny jeans.
"You can munch on this cookie, if you want to!" He looks back and forth between the cookie and her, fuziness spreading in his chest glad at her kindness and enough trust in him to not to kick him out, "Thank you." He grabs it taking a bite and she giggles when in the single one he left no crumbs behind, his mouth's big, shut it already! and so pink so pulpy, oh my goodness I hate youuu!!
"'M sure your friend's on way, it's rainy, might —" He cuts her off with a dissapointed spurt of breath, "dunno." He sulks into sofa folding the corner of book's page.
"You still've an hour till the cáfe closes, don't loose hope!" She pats his shoulder and he gives her a weak smile doing that bunny scrunch of his nose, combing his already wrecked hair and thanks her for the next thousand time.
//
Harry had worst dates. This seems to top them. To be honest because of Y/N being here. What will she think? What if she thinks it's his fault? That he's a broken dummy who nobody wants to date? He wants to grumble and call his date to end things but he waits patiently as the sky turned lilacs of night.
Y/N feels remorseful and angry at the person who stood him up this pathetically. With a sad sigh she turns the closed sign to display outward silently looking at him while he's in his own trance, she disappears into the kitchen and Cora gives her a knowing eye.
"Not believing in love's my greatest descion up till far. It's impossibly hard out there." She retorts. Placing a hot chicken steak atop the alfredo pasta and sprinkles parsiman making it appetizing, "Tell him to better end things with a pig like them." She says in all seriousness handing the tray to Y/N.
He's there. Gazing outside with lips pressed into a thin line and he seems down with his loose errand of curls tucked into a man bun now, a perfect hairdo outta frustration "Harry." She keeps her voice low not to startle him gaining his attention.
"You didn't have to." He shakes his head and she made a noise un-recognized by him putting the tray on the table and moves the ottoman with her feet closer to him sitting on it, "let's be eachother's date for a day." She hands him a fork and he accepts gladly. His sulkiness wooshing away when she digs in taking a bite and smearing the sauce all over her lips.
"If you don't mind me asking, is it the same behind-the-tree guy?" He nods. She frowns spitting grumpily, "what a prat." With the help of knife she tears the steak equally sliding it to his side and he smiles boyishly sucking the corner of his lip inside.
"'M sorry, Harry." She squeezes his knee and it bundles up the air in his lungs, "'s okay truffles — glad you were there fo' a rescue."
"Y/N." She tells him forwarding her hand to shake and he slips his calloused ones to envelop her warmth. His cheeks turns pink when his stomach made noises of starvation, "you need to eat c'mon!" She nudges his elbow and he obliges.
After, filling their tummies satisfied and full she hands him a cuppa of latte with a foamy sleeping kitty floating over it she even made two eyes and the uwu kitty smile with the cocoa powder, "pardon me if it seems like I murdered the poor thing . . . 'm still learning from Cora." His giggles were absolutely amazed and gleeful.
"It looks so good, I don't feel like stirin' it." He pats the bum of steamed floffy kitty with the curve of his tea spoon and it makes her giggle some. Relishing onto strawberry pastries and crumpets oozed into butter, sipping onto their lattes, watching the sky turning dark with the rain while Cora left them hours ago to themselves.
She puts a velvet cloak around herself after closing the shop and Harry waits for her as she takes her bicycle, "Thank ye' Y/N. 'S kind of you." He stirs his gaze from his shoes to her face smiling brightly at her and she waves him off with blushy cheeks, they walk along under the shelters of sideways shops avoiding to get soaked while she holds the steering of her bicycle.
"You can lounge at my place, till the rain stops." When he shakes his head she quips turning into the street, "I insist." They stop infront of the old white sculptured building having two floors in total.
The first thing she does entering into her flat's greet Tofu (it's a Bush-tit a white furball with two curious tich button eyes) leaving Harry to get out of his shoes and slip into her house ones (they barely fits him -- making him chuckle at the size difference).
His eyes giving a beautiful glimmer under the glow of the yellow light as he looks around the space, it's simple, with a bedding on wooden floor, a circle shelf against the window lined up with green plants, a desk opposite to it and a golden standing cage of her pet bird.
"Hi bubba missed me much?" She opens the cage to let it out and the chonky white bird sits on her fingers happily, "Harry meet Tofu." His lips curve upward at the lil thing as he caress it's fluffy head.
"Tofu looks like a snowball." He muses with bambi eyes and she agrees with excitement, "Sometimes I wanna squish him, cause he's just too cute." His eyes widens comically laughing softly at her statement.
"Evil thought said out aloud with cuteness still remains evil, love." Tofu hoped over Harry's finger and he takes him towards his shoulder making it sit there but he has another plans, to rest his furry bum over Harry's head making both of them giggle, "c'mon now birdy time to fill your tummy." She tip-toes to catch him in her palms and knocks her nose with Harry's in the way.
His breath smells of strawberries and coffee, plushie lips dangerously close to her's making her half voracious gaze flicker between his lips and up at Tofu, kiss him kiss him you bloody fool, reeled in her head, "here lemme . . ." He notices her jitteriness fetching the birdy for her. She hiccups with a suck of breath when his knuckles brushed the inside of her palms while giving Tofu to her.
"Make yourself home!" She announces going to feed her pet and Harry flops onto her bed quite comfortably with his sweny legs stretched wide over the floor. They watched episodes of 'Bridgeton' wounded under her blankets and she almost fell asleep when he offered her genuinely.
"I'll help ye' have a tattoo, tiny atleast."
"Means alot to me." She yawns pondering with lug brain whether to snuggle into him or not, she did anyways. In the morning she was woken up by cold sheets and beeps of messages from Harry that made her feel she endured wings of fairy and she's bathing in the glitter of happiness.
//
She stares at the shop infront of her in amazement. It's friday night. She winded up all her assignments and came to this place exactly how it was mentioned in the address, when she enters inside spare teens and a bulky man was waiting outside the office thing-y . . .? Y/N presumes — an assistant chewing loudly on her gum talking onto phone with someone in hushed bratty tone and when Y/N knocks at the counter her piercing stare startles her a bit.
"Yes?" How rude! Y/N thinks with a pouty lip at her striking tone and she clears her throat, "'m here to meet . . . Harry." The snarky assistant rolls her eyes dismissing Y/N quickly to move back to her lazying, "He's busy." Y/N picks her finger to interject murmuring something under her breath and strolls back to wait with everyone.
Sun sets outside shimmering evening pink inside the lobby and the door atlast opens making her head perk up, "pet?" He looks sternly to his assistant but she doesn't seem fazed.
"Harry." Y/N grins, "Fo' how long you've been here?" She feels good someone's caring for her even though it's just for the fact she waited some hours for him, "doesn't matter can 've a tour?" He nods and the bratty assistant eyes him furiously taking Y/N's hand to lead her.
Harry watches her with dimply smile when she babbles at the details of his working station, "do I sit here?" She asks excitedly and he shakes his head, "yes, you may." They scrutinise through his sketches of designs together and she squeezes his wrist.
"Harry you're so talented! Look at 'em." He never felt this flustered with the compliments before button nose scrunching adorably. She chooses a a small plain jamsine flower nothing more, nothing less watching collect things for the process, "it's one of me mama's favourite." He exclaims rather proud snapping the latex gloves round his wrist.
"Where d'ya want it?"
"Where it hurts less." She replies wiping the sweat away with her frock, "it's outer shoulder, yer arm, calves and arse — " His mischievous grin awfully stretchy and she she slaps his bicep playfully.
"Outer shoulder?" She tells him confused to herself. He agrees strolling his stool near to her as she turns her back to him; his fingertips twitches when he pushes her hair to the side.
"Can you uh . . mm." She groans trying to reach for the zipper of her frock and he smoothes down his erratic heartbeat muttering, "yeah sure." She digs her nails into the delicate flesh of her palms when his calloused cold knuckles brushed deliberately against her skin while skimming the zip down slowly. Her eyelids flutter like butterfly wings when he slides her sleeve down her arm revealing her shoulder and it's so supple that Harry had to come back from his reverie; lick his lips to moisture.
He applies the numbing cream and she hisses softly the leather of seat sticking to her calves, her nerves jumbles and body startles when Harry starts the gun without warning her.
He loops his arm around her waist atop her thigh massaging it assuringly — sure it did nothing but to make her core throb insatiably as his rasp melted in her ears, "you're okay puppy." She gulps saying no word feeling her body getting hot at the each stroke of his thumb over her waist line.
"Ah -- Harry." She gasps out of air grasping his hand tightly at the sting of pain. She's baffled at the reactions of her body, her panties getting wet and the displeasing constant pricking of needle quenching out noises she never thought she was able to give out. When she whines and squirms Harry presses her down with force shushing her, "bug just a mo' it's smaller and would be done in seconds." She kisses her teeth bobbing her head vigorously and Harry chuckles at her effort remaining polite.
"Done!" He announces pulling away to admire it and when he hears the lil sniffles he quickly leaves everything sitting infront of her on the seat, "darlin' don't like it when ye' cry." He wipes her tears away not even glancing at her exposed collarbones and the plump flesh of her tits barely covered with her arm.
Soft and squishy, soft and squishy, soft and squishyyyyy.
His mind screams but her whimpery voice distracts him, "'m just gleeful that I've a tattoo because of you." He wraps it up expertly and zips her dress back with ever gentleness, "happy tears then?" She giggles with a grateful nod.
"Want a hug?" He thinks she deserves one for being brave and nice against her fear, "cuddle me up." She murmurs with swollen eyes and peachy cheeks. Uff — it stirs his cock in his jeans arousing the need to be with her everytime.
He rests his chin mushily into the crook of her neck swarming his arms around her waist to squeeze her warmly and she snuggles against his throat, damp lips puckering against his adam apple making it bob.
He feels jammy to be able to have a moment like this with her.
"Chinese takeout?" He collects his sketch journals, his phone, fedora apparently, keys of his motorbike and a spare helmet for her, "Yes please!"
//
They ate the take out perched against his bike with the meadow vast laying feet aways from them, under the breezy sky they conversed and Harry already got a tender spot for her in his heart. He never reaches to a stage where he could get to know someone with this passion and Y/N isn't from someone who'd guard herself from him just because his father was in the bad business.
As the evening brisked with cool dew of summer grass Harry leaned into her more and more.
He finds her little things infatuating, her bonding with Tofu and her dire wish to make good bum steamed kitties on the lattes, she has an irrefutable love for floral dresses and her homely habbit is doing ribbon work.
She got to know that Harry owns the tattoo shop, teaches few blokes the skill of it in free hours. He'ad attended lots of parties raving ones and the boring ones of higher socials, never lets any stranger step inside his loft which's situated upstairs of his shop. His father does all the criminaly things, he's this master mind in doing the evil things for people from getting money out of their enemies yada yada and Harry despises him for it, moreso, that he left them. He doesn't want to be associated with him in any case — he's none like him, he's kind and soft-hearted like his mother.
Y/N loves his goofy side. The one that cracks jokes and puns -- makes her fall in love with him without her even trying.
Last and foremost he has the render love for sheer shirts — told her he has shimmery ones for the fancying off.
"S'm no stranger then." She quips beside his shoulder as Harry unlocked his home's door. He glances her timidly amicably hovering over her lips, "absolutely not, yeh me bezzy." He raises his fist and she bumps it giggling.
//
Y/N that night sleeping on his bed dreamt of them laying together into the pillows of growing daffodils of meadow, lining up the stars in the sky and tell each other what they made ----- galloping rabbit, a slipping cake and she'd laugh with ugly snorts when Harry tells her that he sees a massive dick.
His grin proud and mellow to make his bezzy laugh. She squeaks when he pulls her onto him but soon her dreamboat sinks as she stirs at the warmth swallowing her whole.
She startes from her blurrines at something trapping her down till she recognizes the familiarity of two mascular arms sewn around her waist and what the fuck?
Harry made a makeshift pallet on the floor and right now she's all over him, pressed tightly against his chest — her cheeks turns red with embarrassment from being this clumsy and falling over him in her sleep.
"Oi, Harry budge over you bugger!!" She hisses with sleepy voice but in return he squishes her more.
Taking her face out of his neck she admires the softness of his features when he's asleep and the dotting of beautiful moles, sighing a huge relaxed puff of breath and canoodles into him like an affection starved kitty.
//
It's another cool rainy day and Y/N keeps on swabbing the droplets of water off from her eyes with her elbow trying to paddle her bicycle. She was on her way to Harry's when the skies betrayed her. Standing on his doormat she soaks it completely waiting for him to answer the door, sad, that her gift was ruined too.
"Lovin' ye'll catch a cold – shit come inside." Concerned he ushers her inside his loft, halts in his tracks when she remains behind adoring a gruffy pout, "what is it?" He asks walking to her and cups her cheeks the instant.
"Embroidered ye' a shirt 's destroyed now." She raises it to show him and he stares it for good seconds before swiping her off the floor – hugging her to radiate the sentiment of endearment he carries for her in his heart. It bloats her cheeks pressed against his clavicles and her feet dangles as he sways them with a happy noise of favourite melody she's unfamiliar with, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." He kisses her temple and it lingers at the tip of his tongue.
I could kiss you right fuckin' now, pet.
"Harry you got wet too, dummy!!"
"Oops, guess we both have to change now."
Harry already set mixers for her on the luke points so that she wouldn't have to pull out her hair just to take a shower (his shower's quite complicated) leaves his shirt and boxers for her on his bedside, putting the lilac sheer shirt she embroidered for him in the dryer.
When she comes outside with trippy hair he already has two glasses of wine filled and windows closed to keep her warm.
She isn't a wine person. She was never able to afford it and it never settled with her tummy (she shares too much and feels bubbly with the rose coloured bevvy). Harry's gaze rakes from floor to her ankles snapping directly to her face and it's just snoggles his heart with fondness, seeing her drooled in one of his shirts.
"Need ya not to worry ye'r gift is good as before." He assures her and she flops onto the sofa beside him, "Thank you Y/N." He says genuinely and she waves him with small smile, "hush you."
They drink in silence, then soon it rośed their cheeks and noses making them giggly and floaty. A bottle gone in just a span of a time. She rumbles her lips stretching out, the twinkle of her belly showing and he does the same, eyeing him she slides down on the floor perching her elbow over the coffee table and YET AGAIN HE FOLLLOWS HER ACTIONS.
"Are you mimicking me?" She squints at him and he squints back, "are ye' mimickin' meh?" She smacks his bicep playfully and when he does the same though the force of it lighter than her's adoring mischievous grin making her squeal with chuckles, "Harry!"
He quips back in equal girlish pitch, "Harry!" blinking peepers up at her softly — to test her fates, the recipe of her drunken state and her heart bursting with affection for him she jests at him.
"I like you and might be falling in love with you." She says without holding back a breath and his eyes widen in an animated way chin slipping from his palm, "You what?" He's in utter shock. He has never come across the words she just said with so much delicacy and sincerity — it boggles him to an extent his tongue got tied.
"Say it back now, huh?" She smirks at him shaking from inside counting on to get rejected and ridiculed. Upset at herself more than him at his lack of response, clearing her throat she whispers.
"So — " But, her apology strucks in her throat when he pulls her to himslef with a gentle grip to her elbow. Grabs her jaw tenderly and with the ardent boldness smushes his lips against her's to seal his affinity for her in a kiss that's so soft it melts her inside. His hands brews at her sides and glides up to their destination, to cup her cheeks and deepen the kiss while billowing her in his lap comfortably. He devours the plumness of her lips, tracing the curve of her bottom one with his warm tongue and kisses the corner of her lips again and again making her puff out air from her nostrils.
He has kissed people and it was always to lead something to satisfy the cavity of loneliness, but this, this already feels like home sitting infront of the Autunm fire eating cookies and drinking milk. She feels like the mold he's meant to melt into and explore every ridge of it.
She doesn't not know what's filthier the string of spit that's connecting them or his raspberry lips that she could kiss and kiss for forever, he doesn't stop there pecks her several times with lil smooches, "You're really good at it." She winds her arms tight around the nape of his neck murmuring against him (she wants to make him feel appreciated), his cock chubbing up in his trousers and it lulls her head against his cheek upon feeling it. The thought of having him hard for her boasts the genitilty in herself and she kisses his smiling mouth.
"Wanna make ye' feel good." He presses his lips back against her's with more passion than before and tips her chin with his thumb to stamp lil pecks down her throat feeling his lips tingling to kiss her again, it's way better than he envisioned. Her softness could swallow him and the thought makes his hips stutter imagining his hard prick sucked inside her swelled up walls. His large calloused hands meander down her bottom taking the ripeness of it in a bunch of squeeze.
"On the bed." He pats her bum pinching it playfully and she squeaks obliging him giggles when she bounces over the bed. Him crawling behind her as lion ready to feast over a hare.
Leaning against the head of the bed he lays her between his wide spread legs, her back against his chest and their fronts facing the tall framed mirror infront of them.
"Comfy?" She bobs her head gulping cause no one has ever cared what'll be consuming for her and what not, "I want ye' to look in the mirror sweet girl, at us." He rasps in her ear stroking the hilt of her jaw in continuous circles and when she hums fluttering her eyelids, arching her back at the throb of her pussy and his dirtiness making her slick down to her bum he glides his thumb inside her mouth telling her to, "get 'em proper wet for me." She does coating his thumb with her saliva and flicking her tongue over it many time while he glazes his palms over her ribs, under the crescent of her tits shirt pulled to her collarbones.
She gags around his digit when he took her perky nipple in between his middle and index pulling it then kneads it with a kiss to her earlobe getting her out of his boxers telling her, "enough, pet." When she doesn't listen to him and kept on sucking thinking of his cock in her mouth he gruffs splitting her thighs apart and pressing the soles of her feet tightly against the mattress with his own ankles, "I said enough." Shushing her hungry kitten whimpers he trails his wet thumb down her fallen lip and chin, popping her shirt open and rims it around her areola, "s' soft wanna rub me cock between 'em tits." The shiver that hits her makes her squirm and Harry gives a chaste kiss to her open mouth putting his thumb at her entrance ready to play with her cunt.
"Your eyes open 'em fo' me, puppy." He ducks down to kiss her not letting her turn around himself so that her neck doesn't strain while caressing his fingers up and down in her slickness making soapy noises on purpose, when she finally looks in the mirror locking eyes with him as if he's holding the most precious gem in his arms — the sight turned her spine into a sharp arrow, "c - ca-can I've more?" She gasps squeezing his bicep pussy lips fluttering and her hole palpitates aching for him.
"My polite girl." He smiles awfully fonded at her and she nods licking her lips to speak, "'m good, good always." He pushes his two fingers inside her cunt and she moans with her whole will trying to sink herself to his knuckles nails digging into his shoulders, "I know ye'r." He assures her sliding them out and teasing her little pink asshole turning her into a whining mess.
She twitches around his fingers when he pumps them back along with her sticky wetness and fucks her with them, flickering her clit with his other hand and kneads the inside of her fleshy thigh. She gives out a gaspy moan of unbearable pleasure when his cock's stiffeness rubs between her asscheeks, "ye' feel it? S' fo' you, gonna stuff yeh full of me cock, fuck you nice n' warm and cum all over yer pussy. How you deserved to be fucked, is that okay?" She never expected him this much of a lewd talker — hell she didn't even expected him to step out of his conserved, rather shy demeanour, "yes, yes, yes." She visioned him as a curt dom, who's more into BDSM but he's warm and caring with her. Just in few second of them doing it he proved it how much he's loving to please her.
"Ah! 'm gonna cum . . . gonna —" His sweet vulgar words combined with him toying, rubbing and fingereing her already swollen pussy tips her to the edge she was desiring to get from him, "cum all over me fingers. Want it s' bad from ye darlin', to see you." He says in a tone that's on the verge of pleading but holds a commanding hint under it and with her bones all stiffing, her skin burning and heart buzzing she snaps into her own dreamy world gushing over his fingers with her juices.
"Oh . . Harry." She loudly mewls thrashing in his arms from the intensity of her orgasm and he holds her tight with his arms wrapped around her torso, kisses to the curve of her neck and exposed collarbones. He notices her stiring away from his hand due to sensitivity and takes out his fingers with a squelching popping noise that made her blink from her semblance. Her chest heaves as she watches him in the mirror licking her cum off his wrists with the tip of his pink tongue, "mhm tastes s' sweet." One by one he sucks his finger humming around them seductively spiking her insides yearing to be fucked by him, "just like you sweet puppy."
Gently laying her down he knees infront of her getting out of his flimsy shirt and Y/N admires the flounce of tattoos trailing from his pecks down his adorable love handles. Her gaze stops at the his happy trail leading down to where he's swelled up against his zipper and she hasn't seen someone so beautiful in her entire life, he shimmies his joggers down teasingly with a smirk and she whines hiccuping when his cock slaps against his lower abdomen making her eyes go wide.
"Oh my . . " She gasps at the gorgeous sight of his rock-hard cock between his supple thighs. He's beautifully big, satiny and a dot of shade lighter than his lips making his prick so kissable, would it even fit?? She could already imagine it stretching her out gracefully and stimulating her in ways her fingers could never, "you're so gorgeous button."
The shiny swollen tip, and the dollop of pre-come weeping down his slit alluring her to have him in her mouth but he strokes it not to waste it.
"What's the pout fo' darlin'?" He asks as she stares it making him all shy but he overcomes it persistent to make her feel good (she shared with him that she never knew what being cared feels like) he wanna gives her all lovin' as she did to him the day in cafe. Cups the nape of her neck to bring her for another kiss splitting his thumb into her hair and the moment is so vulnerable and saccharine as he snogs her to floatiness, "will make sure it fits — make you cum many times, baby." He flips her gently.
"On ye tummy fo' me, like an atta pup ye're." It knots her stomach into ropes and she jolts squealing softly into pillows when he smacked her peach watching it jiggle while tugging at his prick to coat it with his thick wetness.
He moans biting his lower lip lulling his head over his shoulders stroking the head of his cock between her asscheeks and round her entrance not pushing at once torching both of them, "you're so delicate wanna be slow with you." He whispers to her pressing his front against her shoulders while wrapping his hand around his shaft to push inside her.
"It's okay!" Her tiny squeaks rolls into a moan when the head of his cock settles inside her and when she twitches around it he cruffs a groan coaxing her sides, "shhh baby 's okay relax fo'me." Taking his hand away from around himself he places it atop her ass withdrawing and looking down to see her cunt glistening with his and her's wetness — then bottoming out deep inside her till his balls are snug against her bum. His stomach twists with pleasure at the warmth that blankets his cock completely making him hunch but he recoups with his arms pressed beside her temple.
The stretch that burns through her core's so pleasing and fulfilling. It hurts in a good way. She knows how patient and composed he's being for her, from the way he fattens tucked inside her walls and he slides his hand between her front and the sheets to caress her soft breasts moving with rough pace.
"Don't stop, please." She recites the mantra almost crushing his fingers with her grip around, it's alot, the constant rub of sheet against her clit and him driving inside her from behind with moans sexier than in erotic audio books. He draws loose circles over her mound making her thighs spread wider with the inability to hold them as he pinched her clit coercion her sensitive button, "oh my god . ." With the whimpers of his name she squirts around his cock and it makes her throw her hips at him.
When he pulls out to turn her on back she whines with a frown, heaving chest and coral cheeks looking totally fucked already, "wanna see ye'r face when you come . . . s' beautiful." He hisses hauling her legs around his waist lowering himself down to enter her with lil smooches to her cheeks, "cum again fo' me baby — yeah just like that squeeze on meh." He pounds her over and over grinding his pelvis against her's to stimulate her in every way.
Feeling the heat crackling in her bones and tummy she takes him by shoulders to cuddle him closer to her chest raising her hips to meet his's, a crying mess, with glossiness twinkling at the corners of her eyes as she comes with euphoria dawning upon her and Harry works her up again.
"Once more, love, i know you've one more fo' me." He gives out a purry groan biting her throat and the valley of her chest, snuggling against it with kisses — when she shakes her head through around him he lines up his nose against her nose petal–ling his lips over her's, "yes you could puppy my sweet — " His eyelids bolting shut at the built of up of his own release and the moment she cums with his cock now he shoots his thick spurt deep inside her.
"This's what it only took fo' you? Callin' ye mere sweet names." He fucks her through it and Y/N admits that he went with his promise --- fucked her like she had never before, they remain like that for some time catching their breaths and then he pulls out of her gently and pumps himself to empty his load shooting it over her pussy and abdomen, "you came so much." She says completely baffled and he steals a chaste kiss from her looking at the white ribbons sticking to her skin.
"Just for you, babyhun."
He tells her not to move and whisks away coming back with a pack of baby wipes. Her hearts swirls with so much fondness for him when he pats the wipes between his palms to get them less cold and shushes her with pecks when she hisses with sensitivity.
They take another shower, this time together and it's not sexual at all though alot of tired poofy kisses and cute yawns were included as they gave eachother shampoo massages and she'd cooe everytime untangling his long hickorey curl.
They changed the sheets (unapologetically very clumsily) and he fetches a glass of water for her making it drink her.
When they were cuddled awfully good he lifts his head up from it was nuzzled between her titties. His accent drawly and slippery from tiredness, "Y/N." He checks if she's asleep and she hums in response starting to play with his hair lazily.
"That day when me date didn't show up?" Witha half heart she hums again, she doesn't like to talk bout that day, because the hopelessness that conquered him that evening still makes her sad.
"I was glad ye' were there 'n 'm so so so thankful that he didn't show up. Else we wouldn't be here in eachother's embrace 'n me heart still'd been mournful to sleep in cold sheets waiting fo' me person." It's the most he has talked in his soberness. It wells up tears in both of their eyes.
"You're my person." She cradles his face hating it that he was kept so love starved his entire life and she gazes him dearly, sweetly, affectionately all the words that could describe love for someone spilling out of the chambers of heart.
"I want to love you so much, pet, make you me most treasured human hershey."
"I'm in, cuddle me up." He grins smauching a loud kiss to her lips and cosying back to his previous spot purring like a kitten thrown into heaps of fluffy blankets.
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how about a thing where beej goes camping with Lydia or also with adam and Barbara and they all try to tell the scariest stories they can? guess who.
this one got away from me but it was super fun. thanks........ blake? guessing is harder than i thought
"And they were never, ever, seen again," Adam finishes, the flashlight under his chin casting his features in a harsh, strange light.
"Thank god," BJ says, with a snort. "I know, right? Couldn't have chosen a better group of assholes to go missing," Lydia grins.
The late night summer air is keeping them relatively cool, and the fire Adam, the literal boy scout, built for them isn't too high. It's got just enough life in it to heat up a few s'mores. BJ sticks his impaled marshmallow into the flame, and watches as it sets on fire, going from gently roasted to disgustingly burnt in a moment. He lifts it, blows it off, and then, ignoring the pain of touching the molten black sugar, peels the burnt skin off, and eats it, before putting the skinned and oozing marshmallow back in the fire, to repeat the process.
Barbara, who has been watching the process, giggles at him.
"Come on, you guys," Adam frowns. "That's my best one. It got me my storytelling badge!"
"You can't get them, Adam," Barbara says, simply, and when BJ lifts his charred marshmallow and peels the skin off, this time, she plucks it from his fingers, and eats it instead. She grimaces at the taste of burnt sugar. "Nothing scares the horror twins," she finishes, giving BJ an apologetic peck on the cheek for stealing his snack, and he puts an arm around her, and then presses his mouth to her ear.
"That's right," he growls, right into her ear, and she squeals, and pushes him away, laughing. "Me an' Lyds are old pros at scary stories. You guys don't stand a chance."
"So why don't you tell one?" Adam huffs, a little irritated, and normally, he'd feel bad for being the cause of it... But all's fair in love, war, and campfire tales.
He looks down to Lydia, and she stares up at him, chocolate and graham cracker smeared at the corners of her mouth. "What do you think? The Cannibal one?"
"M'tryna scare them, not make em vomit up their marshmallows," BJ laughs. "Maybe th' shoppin' mall one? Ya know, with th'-"
"The corpse fountain, yeah. I dunno.. that one's a little long."
The siblings are stuck considering, for a moment, as Barbara and Adam seem to grow more weary and agitated.
"Oh," BJ snaps his fingers, suddenly, startling his paramores, who both jump, just a little. "I got it. The Shambler."
"Ooooh," Lydia breaths. "The Shambler. Is that one.. safe, to tell?" she drops her voice, into a whisper.
"Why wouldn't it be?" Adam asks, and BJ hides his smile. The story's already begun.
"Well, because of what happened," Lydia says, like it's obvious.
"What happened?" Barbara's hooked, now, leaning forward, to look at the little girl from across the fire.
"Are you serious?" he plays into it, looking from Adam and Barbara like he can't believe they haven't heard. "Jesus, you guys, it was a real life horror show. Okay.. Around 1970 somethin', all these campers start to go missin'. Th' cops go to investigate, an' from th' woods, they keep hearin' this awful moanin' noise. They get to th' campground, an' all th' tents are just... empty. Like all these people just stood up in th' middle of th' night an' walked away, an' just never came back."
"They only found noses," Lydia says, which is a new detail, and he rolls with it. "Th' cops figured th' person-"
"Or thing," Lydia says, voice low.
"Musta been eatin' th' bodies, an' couldn't figure out how to cook up noses."
"I had hoped this wasn't a cannibal story," Barbara says, glumly, and Adam's brow furrows. "There's no way this happened."
"An' why's that?"
"Because I would have heard of it. This is classic campfire story hyperbole."
"I'll hyper your bole, Sexy."
"Anyways," Lydia drags them back on track. "It's probably a good thing you're not buying it. We can just stop telling you about the whole thing. That's safer, for everyone."
"Oh, and why's that?" Adam smiles, amused. "Because talking about it makes the Shambler come?"
He's skipped a few narrative beats, but that's the basic gist, yes.
"Don't say that name so loudly," BJ admonishes him.
"Oh, come on! I thought you guys were horror masters, this is just a retelling of a retelling of a copy!"
"Adam, seriously-" Lydia sells it, looking agitated.
"Shambler, Shambler, Shambler!" Adam challenges.
The bushes behind them rustle. Barbara jumps, and Adam turns, and squints into the darkness. "Probably just a squirrel."
"Sounded bigger than that," Barbara says, softly, almost like she's in on it. God, what a perfect audience member she makes.
Adam stands, and Barbara and BJ follow, only pausing when the bushes rustle again, and a guttural, low groan echoes around them. Whether he knows he's done it or not, Adam takes a step closer to the two of them, and a slight step away from the bushes. "... Okay, that.. That, uh.."
The rustling is on the other side of them, now, and they all three whip their heads around, as the moaning noises grow louder, and louder, closer and closer.
"Adam," Lydia whispers in horror, from the campfire, blood oozing from her mouth. "What.. what did you do?"
She drops, and Barbara lets out a scream, horrified, and both teens go rushing to Lydia's side-
And that's when BJ grabs them both around the shoulders, and gives them a shake. "BOO~!"
The two of them jump a mile high, and turn to look at him, glares on both their faces, as he doubles over, laughing. Lydia, from the dirt, rolls over, laughing too, fake blood still oozing down her mouth and down her chin.
"You guys, come on, that was too easy!" BJ barely manages. "Fake blood capsules," Lydia grins up at their confused faces.
The horror twins are pelted with marshmallows.
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kilgarraghforever · 3 years
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So The Son Of Bigfoot is this film from 2017 and it's completely nutty.
The opening scene is this science man getting chased through a forest by a load of helicopters, men with dogs and a pointy-faced dude with very blonde hair. The lot of them have stupid hairstyles. Science Man climbs a cliff, is cornered by the helicopters and then jumps off a waterfall. End scene, cut to title, then the main stuff starts. (I think I'm going to explain the entire film, so anyone who wants to watch it (and I heartily recommend you do so) leave now.)
The main plot is about this kid who gets bullied by three morons with stupid haircuts. Here they are:
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(Sunglasses has this silly little goatee thing at the back of his head)
The three morons stick a load of gum in his hair, so his mum has to chop it all off. Next day, it's all grown back, and kid freaks and tries to chop it off himself - which goes badly. He finds his dead dad's old hat in a draw to hide it, goes to school and basically has a weird thing where his hearing suddenly increases and so does his shoe size. The kid's feat literally bust out of his shoes. Kid ends up in the PE hall to escape the noise and surprise! the three bullies turn up, he accidently punches one in the face and so they beat him up, steal his backpack and throw it in a basketball hoop. The lot of them get called to the headmaster's office to be punished (suspension), in which the kid - Adam - meets some blonde girl who flirts with him, gets his bag back and is told to remove the hat, revealing that his hair has grown back completely. Before he has time to contemplate this, the bullies turn up again, chase him home and throw a rock through his window. Rock hits a vent, breaks it and hits something metal, so Adam sticks his arm down and finds a tin full of letters from his dead dad and an address carved on bark. He reads the letters and his mum gets home, he accuses her of keeping his dad's living-ness a secret. Yelling ensues, Adam runs away, y'know - the usual.
Meanwhile, this massive hair company (Hair Co) are trying to make some serum to make hair grow. It's run by the pale dude from before, who never gets named, so I'll refer to him as Asshole. Asshole is showing these three dudes around and nattering, and then they get to this science lab. A short old science man shoots an intern in the ass with a dart thing that causes him to grow an afro. The afro then promptly bursts into flames.
We return to Adam, next to a highway trying to hitchhike in the pouring rain. Truck driver stops and Adam guilts him into taking him to the address on that bit of bark. Turns out it's literally just a post box in a woods next to the road. Adam gets out, truck drives off leaving Adam alone and so he ventures into the unknown. He wanders around for a bit looking for a house or something, yelling "Hello?" into the void. He climbs a small cliff, yells again and hears something behind him. Sees some bushes moving, so he throws a rock at them. The bushes go "ow" so he runs off and right into a bear trap. He falls, skidding the rest of the way down to the road. During said skid, his backpack falls off. This is important. Adam gets knocked out by the impact and is left sprawled in the middle of the road. Some trucker - I'm going to call him Carl - is driving down it, reading a magazine and singing something. He sees Adam at the last minute, slamming on the breaks. He's clearly going to hit Adam, but before he can, this blurry humanoid figure runs out into the road, scoops up Adam and runs off again. Carl is very confused, so plays it back on his dashboard camera. He goes "Well, I'll be" and reaches for his phone. It has no service. Carl ends up at a diner with a phone box, calls 911 and reports that he saw Bigfoot. 911 hangs up on him. Carl then proceeds to call the magazine he was reading and gets told that his sighting will get published.
Back at Hair Co, Asshole sees the report and smirks at the short science man, whom I'll be calling Billingsley, as that is his name. Billingsley wants to go after Bigfoot but Asshole says that they gave up the search ten years ago, leading to the question: 'What the fuck, Hair Co?' They eventually decide to go after Bigfoot again after seeing Adam in the photo.
Carl, back at the diner, is talking to the serving lady who I've named Sugar. They talk about the Bigfoot sighting, and then a load of black cars and a freaking helicopter turn up. Sugar shouts for someone to raise the prices.
Turns out all the men in black people are Hair Co looking for Bigfoot - and Asshole is with them. Carl explains about where he saw Bigfoot and an agent finds Adam's backpack (I said it was important) and his address in it. Asshole smirks again.
Two of the Agents of Hair turn up at Adam's address, break in and find the letters. Meanwhile, Shelly - the mum - is driving to the address on the bark in search of Adam.
This is where it gets a little nuts. Adam wakes up in some tree next with Bigfoot - inexplicably in a pair of jeans that look far too small for him because of all the fur - is standing over him. Adam understandably freaks out and tries to leave, only to nearly die from falling. Bigfoot grabs him before he does and explains that he is Adam's dad. His not dead, very much alive, rather furry and never named dad. (For that reason I'm going to keep calling him Bigfoot.) Adam calls bullshit and threatens him with a twig, then sees that the middle of the treehouse is decorated in photos of him and his mum. This somehow proves to Adam that Bigfoot is his dad, and I'm sure you guessed from the title. He then freaks out again, calling his dad a monster and Bigfoot makes the most funny offended face in animated history.
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He then accuses Bigfoot of running away, to which Bigfoot responds with "Woah." He then explains that someone *cough* Hair Co *cough* *cough* were hunting him and he had to leave to keep Adam and Shelly safe. Adam then asks him what he meant by 'lab rat', making Bigfoot change the subject to Shelly and whether she knows Adam is here. Adam lies, his dad catches it, and they argue for a bit before Bigfoot says "Your mum must be worried sick."
Cut to Shelly driving up to a blockade set up by the Agents of Hair. They say they're looking for her, and she tries to escape but the Agents of Hair stop her.
Back at the treehouse, apparently Bigfoot and Adam have stopped arguing and Bigfoot is going on about being sorry he missed Adam's childhood and how Shelly sent everything to him. Adam then asks if he's going to have Bigfoot stuff happen to him - mostly refuring to the fur (I'm not sorry for the pun) - and Bigfoot says no. He then explains that he's already thirteen and hasn't shown any signs of being a bigfoot. Adam says "Yes I have. My feet went weird and so did my hearing." They eventually work out that Adam got all of the cool stuff about being a bigfoot and none of the fur. Cool stuff? I hear you and Adam ask. Turns out bigfoots (bigfeet?) have healing powers (which is how Adam is walking on a leg that got caught in a beartrap), run really fast, hear super well (like things around a mile away) and can talk to animals. They then zipline down to the ground, do some weird surfing thing and fall over. During the next 20 minutes, we meet two racoons, a squirrel and a woodpecker. Oh, yeah, and a giant bear. There's some nonsense with two idiotic hunters, baseball, some geysers and then they end up back at the treehouse. This sickeningly sweet bonding shit is interrupted by the raccoons who report that the Agents of Hair are scouring the forest looking for Bigfoot. Bigfoot blames Adam, which is fair but also really not, who then decides to give himself up to Asshole and the Agents of Hair. They take him to his mum and he tricks them into climbing into a geyser. This pisses of Asshole who, in a plot to lure out Bigfoot, traps Adam in a car and sends him into a forest fire the Agents of Hair started. When Bigfoot shows up to try and save Adam, he gets Adam out of the car but is shot by Asshole with a stun dart. The massive bear whose name is Wilbur saves Adam but a burning branch gets in the way of him going back for Bigfoot, who is captured by Asshole. Adam then blacks out from smoke inhalation. When he comes to, Wilbur and the other animals decide to leave, but Adam convinces them to help him save Bigfoot in a Mission Impossible style heist.
Back at Hair Co, Billingsley has almost perfected a hair formula and shoots the intern again, causing all his hair to grow prolifically. Asshole is pleased by this.
While that's happening, Adam and the rest break into Hair Co's nearest facility, and during the commotion, all of them but Adam get captured. Adam makes it to his dad, who then refuses to leave in a plot twist everyone saw coming, aside from Adam who is confused. Asshole has apparently promised to care for Shelly and Adam and not kill them in exchange for Bigfoot allowing them to run experiments on him. Adam, who is not crazy and doesn't trust Asshole, tries to convince Bigfoot to leave but then Asshole himself turns up and takes Adam out of the lab. Asshole talks about how Adam is going to like being rich while Adam spots a fire alarm, breaks it and causes the only door in to seal itself with him on the inside. This greatly pisses off Asshole, who yells for security to open the door and that the fire is a false alarm. Security guy, who Adam and co knocked out earlier, comes to, hears fire and sounds the evacuation alarm. Asshole gets taken to the bridge, leaving only Adam inside.
Adam then steals an access card from a guard he knocked out, releases all the animals, including the ones used by Hair Co to test stuff on (who all leave the compound and follow the evacuating Agents of Hair), and cause chaos. During said chaos Adam gets a flare gun. He goes back to Bigfoot and this time succeeds in convincing him to leave, threatening to tell Asshole that he's a Bigfoot too. This sentiment is quite sweet as he says that "If you don't leave, then I'm staying. It's the two of us here or the two of us out there, but I'm not loosing you again." They leave and Bigfoot decides to go into a large production area and break all of the gas pipes, deciding that Hair Co is going to be put out of business, permanently. They break many gas lines, leading to the door to be sealed so no gas escapes. They escape through a vent and come out at the top of Hair Co, and zipline down to the bridge using the cables holding it up.
Asshole is there waiting for them. He has found out that Adam is also a bigfoot and shoots Bigfoot several times with stun darts then kicks him off the bridge. Adam, with the most 'fuck you' look, shoots the flare gun's flare into Hair Co, igniting the gas and exploding the building and making the bridge collapse.
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Adam then runs to the end of the bridge and climbs down to try and find his dad. Asshole also falls off the bridge because of his own stupidity and the Agents of Hair being incompetent.
In the gorge below, Adam finds his dad badly injured and dying. He cries at first, hugging his dad and his hands glow with blue swirls of light that disappear as soon as he takes his hand away from Bigfoot's arm. He then remembers the healing powers his dad told him about, and uses them on his dad. The blue magic makes Bigfoot's body rise into the air as the healing powers try to heal him, then gently place him back on the ground after Adam is done.
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Bigfoot doesn't move.
"No!" Adam cries out, sobbing again. Then Bigfoot moves and wakes up, they hug, the animals show up and it's all very sweet, blah blah blah.
And then along comes Asshole, looking rather deranged and pointing a stun gun at them. He starts monologuing about how "it did not have to end this way" and then is shot in the ass by Shelly. Bigfoot, Shelly and Adam decide on "no more hiding". Meanwhile, the male raccoon discovers that Asshole has been wearing a toupee the entire time.
It turns out that Billingsley and the intern survived.
A few weeks/months later (it's actually only about a week later) Bigfoot and the animals are living happily with Shelly and Adam, who is returning to school after his suspension.
On the way, the bullies return and try to beat up Adam, only to be scared by Wilbur the massive bear. They end up with broken bikes (curtesy of the raccoons) and bruises. The blonde girl from the office shows up at the end of the confrontation and asks to walk to school with Adam. She also asks what happened to his shoes, as his feet bust out when the bullies show up. He jokes that he should switch to sandals, and the film ends on them walking away with his shoes hanging from a telephone pole.
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It's a wild ride and I'd honestly recommend it to anyone with an hour and a half to spare. Despite what it looks like, I didn't get in everything and the whole film is a lot funnier that I said here.
This film got an 8/10.
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