#suicide for convenience

[blackrosesandwhump]

Whump Prompts 100: Immortal Whumpee Aesthetic

Feel free to reblog with any additions you might have. :)

CW: death, suicide reference, torture, implied vivisection, implied gore, experimentation, begging for death

Realizing that immortality is actually a terrible, inescapable curse

The despair of knowing that everyone they care about will die, leaving them completely alone

Being passed down from generation to generation, gaining more scars and wounds as the years go by

Or, always healing...on the outside. The inside is a completely different story...

Experiencing firsthand how torture methods have changed through the ages

Experiencing something (drowning, hanging, etc.) that should kill them over and over again, because, you know, they can't die

Tremendous guilt over always surviving no matter what happens to everyone around them

Intentionally working the most dangerous jobs because, you know, they can't die

Being afraid that their secret will scare people away

Cutting themselves off from everyone so they don't have to experience the pain of losing someone

Being captured, then abandoned somewhere where no one will ever find them, and having to endure eons of isolation and darkness

REMEMBERING THEIR OWN PREVIOUS DEATHS

Being able to endure extremes: temperature, air, water, etc. Imagine an immortal whumpee as a scuba diver or an astronaut...

Used as a test subject for all kinds of experiments, because, you know, they can't die

Or, being used for med students to practice on. How better to learn how a heart works than by watching it in action?

Suffering the same level of pain as an ordinary mortal, but without the escape of eventual death

How does it feel to be drained of blood and still be alive?

Feeling less like themselves, less sane, every time they come back from the dead

Suicide for convenience, because they'll just come back to life no matter what

How does it feel to regrew an organ, or a severed limb?

BEGGING FOR DEATH, EVEN THOUGH DEATH IS IMPOSSIBLE

#whump #whump prompts #whump aesthetic #immortal whumpee #immortality #whump inspiration #whump ideas #blackrosesprompts #torture #torture whump #gore #vivisection #death #suicide #suicide for convenience #begging for death #dying #experimentation #experiment whump #despair #immortal #emotional whump #whump tropes #whump things #whump thoughts #nonhuman whump #nonhuman whumpee #inhuman whump #whump community #whump concept

[brutal-nemesis]

YWDaC: Turns Out, Forever Is a Long Time

Ayo we have FINALLY arrived at the end of Castys's lil pirate misadventure I hope you have enjoyed all of the delicious lore

←Previous - Castys Masterlist

Ingredients: storm at sea activity, mentioned stabbing, suicide for "convenience" (it's not quite the usual level of he doesn't care but it's still not like bro wants to die yk), a little self harm (once again, out of practicality)

What Castys really wanted was to have something for breakfast, but responsibilities came first, so here he was, delivering a message that he could have ordered anyone else to relay, just so he could go back belowdecks and hopefully grab something on the way back, which made him wonder if he should have been given responsibilities in the first place, but oh well, he didn’t put himself in charge. Now, to get this done so he could eat. Castys knocked on the door in front of him, and upon hearing a noise that sounded like a word, he entered. Captain Izogie was sitting with her shirt partially off and her back to him, exposing the bold patterns of white fire ink curling around her dark shoulders. Alfyn was standing behind her with his hands on her bare back, clearly concentrating. It was a sight he’d seen before, but he always felt a little awkward stumbling upon it. 

“Uh, sorry, didn’t realize it was woman magic day.”

Izogie laughed a little as she turned her head to look at him. “Is that what you lot call it?”

“Less of a mouthful than whatever Alfyn says.”

Alfyn just sighed. “Estrogen production stimulation?”

Castys nodded. “Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. Anyway, Captain, just thought I’d let you know the sunrise is red this morning, and given the clouds now, we’re all pretty sure it’s gonna storm. And yes,” Castys held up a hand, “preparations are already underway. Just wanted you to be aware.”

Alfyn, finished with Izogie’s treatment, stepped back. “In that case, I have a few things to secure in the med bay. If you’ll excuse me, Captain.”

Izogie nodded as she buttoned her shirt. “Thank you, Alfyn, you’re excused.” He gave Castys a smile as he left. “Thank you as well, Castys.” She gave him a thoughtful look as she pulled her coat on and stood up. “You know, when you first arrived, I wasn’t sure if you were going to last here, but here you are, my first mate, of all things. You’ve grown quite a bit.”

Castys rolled his eyes and smiled, leaning against the doorframe. “Well, yeah, a scared tied up kid rarely looks like he’s gonna amount to anything. And it took you a few years to get that mouth off of me,” he laughed.

“You say that like it’s gone completely,” Izogie said with a glint in her eye, coming up to stand in front of Castys. Despite more than a decade passing, she still towered over Castys, the passage of time only showing in the lines on her face and the gray streaking her hair. He hadn’t grown any taller, but he’d at least gained some muscle and quite a few scars, which was well within the realm of expectation for being a pirate. “Well then, let’s go help out, Castys. This isn’t our first storm, and we need to make sure it won’t be our last.”

“I’d prefer to go down to a sea monster, at least. And I can’t imagine anything short of a hurricane taking you, Captain.”

“I’d like to see one try.” 

The storm that night certainly did.

The rain came down in sheets, driven to needlepoints by the harsh winds. It was more difficult than ever to hear the shouts of the crew as reports and orders were passed around, and Castys’s throat was raw from relaying directions to the men at the helm. He was glad for the storm sails, because even though they hadn’t had time to put all of them up, they were still making good progress through the crashing waves. At least, he hoped so. 

The ship’s bow pierced through another wall of water, and it was all Castys could do to stay on his feet, holding tight to the rope tied around his waist. Shit, one of the men at the helm had collapsed, and there was no one else to take his place. Castys ran up, grabbing the wheel alongside the others as he continued to keep an eye on the angle of the bow and the oncoming waves. It was fine, he could keep this up even as his arms burned from the strain, the hairs that had escaped from his ponytail blowing in his eyes and sticking to his face, making it even harder to see, the ever-louder thunder overhead drowning out the sound of his own voice. Didn’t matter if things were only getting worse, they had to keep-

CRACK

Everything was too loud, or maybe too quiet, roaring and buzzing, he was pressed up against the soaking wood of the deck and there was a ball of dense, sharp agony buried in his chest, making it hard to breathe, he kept coughing, couldn’t stand, couldn’t see, the blackness was coming, fading in and out, and all of a sudden he was belowdecks, blood and rain puddling around him, hands on his chest, pulling up his shirt, the words muffled, his chin moved up, Alfyn’s eyes were gray and full of fear, he hadn’t seen that expression before, or maybe he had, and maybe he was going to die, here, because of the storm, because he couldn’t breathe, time was up, that was it, those thirty-four years were over and done he wasn’t getting that time back no more tries he was satisfied with that right he had to be he couldn’t have any regrets because he wasn’t supposed to but it would have been nice if…if…

Castys woke up to a vast expanse of yellowish-white, which was not the color he expected the afterlife to be. Upon further inspection, though, it turned out that it was just a sheet over his head. After tossing it off and sitting up, he was greeted by a shrill scream that should have come from a young girl but actually came from Alfyn. 

“Chill, dude, you shouldn’t have put that over me if you’d healed me.” Castys narrowed his eyes a bit as he talked. Did his voice always sound like that? Maybe whatever injuries he’d had had damaged his hearing or something. He wasn’t in any pain now, though, so that was good.

“C-Castys you-you’re-how are you-” Alfyn ran over, nearly tackling Castys as he pulled up his tattered shirt to reveal a rather bloodstained but otherwise perfectly fine torso. Castys gave him a weird look, leaning away.

“Uh, you’re the one who fixed whatever it was, weren’t you?” He brushed his wet hair off of his face as he stared down at himself. Why the fuck did he grow his hair out, again? It was annoying as hell like this. 

Alfyn shook his head in disbelief. “I didn’t heal you, Castys. You-you were…both of your lungs had collapsed and I-I couldn’t fix it but-” He looked Castys in the eye, frowning. “You…you look different. Younger.” He ran a hand over Castys’s ribs, and Castys was very glad that he was more than used to the medic touching his bare skin. “There’s no scar from what just-” 

“Hey, what are you-” Castys yelped as Alfyn forced him to lean forward, pulling up his shirt even more to expose his back.

“You still had scars from your first day, didn’t you? When you were flogged?”

“Uh, I think so? I don’t really make it a hobby to look at my back, so you’d probably know better than me.” 

Alfyn sighed, letting go of Castys and standing up. “Well, if they were there before, they’re gone now. You…” He looked around at the patients lying on the cots on the other side of the room. “Do you feel alright, Castys?”

“I think so? I’m not in any pain or anything, but…I dunno, does my voice sound weird to you?” There were a few other things that were bothering him, but he couldn’t really get a solid hold on what they were. He just felt different, his thoughts more scattered, his arms less muscular than he remembered, the persistent ache in his left knee from a battle wound a few years ago completely gone now.

Alfyn nodded slowly. “Now that you mention it, it does seem a little…off.” He frowned again. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you, Castys, but I have more urgent patients to attend to, and I’m going to ask you to stay put until we can get this sorted out.”

“But the s-”

“Fine then, I’m not asking, I’m ordering. Doctor’s orders supersede everything else, you know that. And the storm has almost passed. So stay. Put.”

Castys grumbled and crossed his arms, but he didn’t move to get up. He knew all too well that Alfyn wasn’t above restraining disobedient patients, and he’d rather avoid that today. Bored, he peeked at his chest again. It was very bloody, but there were no injuries anywhere, and poking his ribs didn’t hurt like a bitch, so they weren’t broken or anything. What was weird though was that he still had some scars, just not all of them. The twisted one on his tummy and the clean line over his heart were still there. He slapped a hand on his right cheek and tried very hard to smile, finding that, yup, he still couldn’t really do it on that side, so the remnant of the gash on his face was still there. But the one on his knee, on his arm, and apparently the ones on his back…gone. It didn’t make sense. Unless…

He put a hand over his heart. Every scar he still had now, he’d gotten before…before that day. The day he still didn’t want to believe had happened. Just as he was about to dig up that lovely little box of buried memories, Captain Izogie rushed in, worry etched in her face. 

“Alfyn, is it true Castys is-” she laid eyes on Castys and the tension visibly drained from her body. “Oh thank Mydnar.” She walked over and crouched down in front of where he was seated on the floor, eyeing him suspiciously. “What…what did Alfyn do to you? You look like a kid again.”

“Not my fault!” Alfyn called from where he was working on someone’s fucked-up arm.

“Uh, yeah, I, um,” Castys laughed nervously. “It’s my fault. I think. But I’m okay! All the breathing is happening fine.”

Izogie shook her head. “You’re not making any sense. Laias said a broken piece of the mizzen top yard poked a hole through your chest.”

“It did,” Alfyn said, wiping his hands as he walked over. “Both of his lungs were punctured. I worked as quickly as I could after I pulled it out, but…” he swallowed. “Your pulse was gone, Castys.”

“But I…I’m fine. I’m…” He swallowed. Everything was so cold all of a sudden, that was the only reason he’d be shaking like this, right? Had to be. Unsure if he even wanted to know the answer to this question, Castys lifted his shirt, poking at the scar on his stomach. “Alfyn…what if a person was…was stabbed right here. And the knife was dragged and twisted a bit before being pulled out. And then it went,” his finger was over his heart now, “right here. Would that person…would they die?”

Alfyn looked at Castys in slight horror before slowly nodding. “Without medical attention, in a matter of minutes. Possibly less depending on how much the stomach wound had bled and how much damage had been done.”

Every worry line in Izogie’s face stood out more than ever before. “Castys, you-what are you saying? Are those scars-”

“I think so.” Castys dropped his shirt. “At least, from what I can remember. So maybe I…I already died. Before this. All this time I just thought I might be remembering things wrong, but if what Alfyn said about earlier is true, then…and it might explain why I’m…different.”

“So you think you’re some kind of…” the furrow in Alfyn’s brow deepened, “immortal?”

Immortal. The thought was sort of exciting, as ridiculous as it seemed, but it was also sort of terrifying. Why the fuck was he one, anyway, if it was true? He was just Castys, a random pirate with incurable amnesia about his childhood and hadn’t done anything special besides the whole…maybe this was some kind of fucked-up reward for finishing his mission? But then where had-fuck, okay, no more of that, his brain hurt too much. Why think about things when he could get some results?

“Hey, Captain, could you stab me or something? I wanna see what happens.”

Izogie, who was still clearly trying to process whatever the hell was going on, gave him a very concerned look. “No, Castys, what-even if you think you’ll-you’ll come back what if-”

“Well, I should have died twice now. So I feel like I’ve already gotten a second chance if I was going to be dead anyway.” He glanced over at Alfyn. “Could you-”

“I’m a fucking doctor, Castys. My hands aren’t-I can’t. No.” The other pirates cursed pretty much every other word, but coming from Alfyn, that word might as well have been a cannon blast. Seeing that neither of his friends were willing to stab him for science, Castys dropped the idea and let them examine him for a bit before finally getting cleared to go back to his quarters. The crew gave him odd looks as he passed by, just hammering it in even more that he was different somehow. Either that or they’d heard he fucking died and was now walking around perfectly healthy, which was also probably cause for concern.

Once he was alone, he pulled out his sword and looked at his reflection in the blade. From what he could tell in this shitty makeshift mirror, his face did look a lot more youthful than he remembered. The scruff on his chin and his longer hair did make him look a bit older than the age he supposed his body was now, but the beard was itchy and long hair was a pain in the ass. Part of him wanted to hack his ponytail off right now with his knife, but he’d rather not look like a total mess on top of everything else, so he could wait to ask for a haircut tomorrow. He could shave, however, and he felt a lot better once it was done. 

Turning the razor over in his hands, Castys wondered if he really would come back to life again if he slit his throat or whatever. Well, only one way to find out. His clothes were already super bloody, anyway, so that wouldn’t be a problem. Here goes nothing, then.

Why were his hands shaking so much? It was just dying, he’d apparently done it before, it was fine, he’d come back, he wasn’t leaving anyone behind, just a quick swipe of the blade and then…then…he’d come back, right? Right. A-and if he didn’t, he’d already cheated death before, so it was only fair for things to end now. Deep breath maybe his last-

The blade moved a little more slowly than he would have liked, a flash of pain before-

Castys opened his eyes. He was still in his cabin, lying on the floor, razor still gripped in his hand, fresh blood warm and sticky on his neck. S-so then…he’d died. And come back. And wasn’t in any pain. 

Some sick fascination drove him to slice a deep gash in his arm before turning the blade on his neck again.

He woke up just as healthy as before, no cut in sight.

That settled it, then. Castys…he was immortal. A deep feeling of freedom unlike anything he’d ever known washed over him. He could do anything, go anywhere, not having to worry about wasting his time or being in danger, because fuck that he was immortal nothing would ever stop him again. 

Lying in a puddle of his own blood, Castys couldn’t help but laugh.

He got slapped and lectured the next day for testing things out on himself, sure, but it was nothing in the face of his infinite future. He could go on with everyone forever and e-

Kamon left. 

Alfyn died. 

Izogie retired.

And then, one day, Castys was standing on the deck of the ship, his ship, and he realized he didn’t recognize a single face looking back at him. Well, he recognized them, but he didn’t know them, didn’t remember any of them from his life before the years felt like minutes. There was a divide between them, and he wasn’t sure who put it there.

Immortality was…lonely. Isolating. 

Someone else like him had to be out there, right? So he’d look all over, chase down every lead, even an immortal monster or something would do, he just needed-

Castys felt as alone as he was all those years ago, trapped on that deserted island, the passage of time impossible to follow. 

But no matter what, he’d find that ship on the horizon. 

Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump​ @blackrosesandwhump​ @fanmanga1357-blog​​ @thehopelessopus​ @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi​ @hearse-song​ @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen​​ @galaxywhump​ @starnight-whump​ @his-unspoken-words​ @misspelledwitch @suspicious-whumping-egg​ @pumpkin-spice-whump​ @painsandconfusion @i-can-even-burn-salad​​ @befuddled-calico-whump​ @whumpinggrounds @whump-queen​ @whumpedydump @theelvishcowgirl​

#i wrote something #whump #castys #immortal whumpee #pirate whump #suicide for convenience #why is it so hard to write things that arent pain why do people have to talk to each other so much #but uh there you go there's Boy Finds Out lore #ive said it before in like an ask answer but now it is right there in the canon: #castys acts the way he does partly due to the fact that he is mentally 19 and his brain is not fully mature! #he's also just. like that. but he would mellow out some with age for sure #uh what else...oh rip to kamon i was planning on including them more and then it just felt forced so sorry bruh #yes izogie is trans and during this time period HRT is similar to our world where it's something that has to be upkept constantly #it's just a magical procedure instead of a shot #later as shit advances magic will be able to force the endocrine bitches to produce the preferred hormones forever with only one procedure! #it's still a slow process but much less upkeep #i could talk more (you can send an ask if you want me to 🤧) but back to this actual thing #alfyn i just took his name from the octopath apothecary and no one called me out so im doing it myself #poor castys gets so excited about being immortal and then immediately gets hit with the reality of crippling lonliness lmaoooo #i say immediately but it was like 20 years or smth #i can FINALLY work on next erebus chapter oh we are finally at the Place no one will be excited but me

[designernishiki]

im realizing what’s really bothering me the most about the upcoming kiryu cancer arc (words i never expected to write in total seriousness) isn’t the cancer itself but how kiryu’s response to it (or lack thereof) is straight up suicidal in a way that’s impossible to ignore or deny. like there’s no way around that this time- he can explain in circles about “taking responsibility” and how “retirement’s just not in the cards for me” and whatever else but the fact is he was getting treatment and then he gave up and stopped, resigning to literally fighting til he’s killed or drops dead. because that’s all he thinks he’s useful for at this point and he’s got nothing else to live for. I really don’t wanna be a huge downer or whatever but like god it’s hard for me to enjoy all the fun silly stuff announced for this game when the whole time I know that oh, kiryu’s actively slowly and painfully killing himself and a good number of the people around him having fun doing whatever apparently Know About It and are just. not making a bigger deal of it. sorry kiryu I love you but karaoke isn’t very fun when everybody knows you should seriously be in chemo instead.

#I kind of think part of it is that he’s running from the issue of haruka finding out he’s alive #like. it’s almost convenient for him that he gets sick. if he dies like this then he won’t have to worry about admitting to faking his #death and putting his kids through hell and whatnot. cause he’ll Actually be dead. #plus at this point it’s like- what would he even say? hi haruka sorry I had to fake my death like that. im back for now but I have cancer so #we’ll see how long that lasts #fuck. #sorry it just really hit me that this is the most. outwardly. suicidal thing he’s ever done #hearing his explanation………. it’s really. the most depressing thing I think I’ve ever seen in this franchise #rambling #kiryu #y8 #rgg 8 spoilers

[slugandthorn]

The coolest gender thing in the 2009 Japanese video game persona 3 100% how hard they coded shinjiro as the dead mom

#.txt #i got soooo mad in the car driving home thinking about how his drug addiction is essentially the classic anime heart condition. #in that the only side effect of the suppressants is that they will kill him. like? #i realized for the longest time i had assumed the chest pain and sweating came from the drugs but thats. castor. obviously. #it doesnt affect his mood or his awareness its like a mood stabilizer pain relief pill? #its so odd that hes framed as like. being addicted to illegal street drugs. BY THE NARRATIVE. #when its more like hes on the most insane experimental medication that they wont even test on like. rats. #also im not fact checking any of this before posting. so i might be lying about things. #idk if it was all of strega that had trouble controlling their personas but like. chidori was because of the Experimentation. #and shinjis just like. mentally ill coded. in a bad way 😭 #The inability to regulate a mood/stimuli to the point where he can be unsafe to himself or others. #broad ass symptom of disorders that are not treated well. its also interesting that its not brought on by a specific event. #like the childhood fire is there. but you have akihiko right there to directly compare it to. and hes arguably more effected by it all. #and he seems to be coping well 10+ years on like some coping mechanisms are kind of weird (protein) but nothing super out of the ordinary. #so the problem is really the october 4th incident which was just a pure honest to god accident. #the fact that it gets covered up as a car accident does feel like the best like. emotional equivalent. #because it being shinji being unable to control his persona his true representation of himself and it resulting in death is sooooo bleak #and it weighs on him for 2+ years of being suicidal and unhoused until finally he goes through with his suicide by martyrdom. #i lost the plot a little bit on the gender situation with the vague allusions to fraility when story convenient #acting as dorm den mother and cooking and sewing long hair jacket sillhouette reading like a dress #was referring to that before mental illness took over. woman under the influencing this anime boy. #long way of saying i think he should have a over the shoulder ponytail when hes older. and he should have a mood disorder.

[farragoofwires]

don' dweeblog

I was never interested in watching supernatural because of how it treats the female characters but I've been watching an abridged version with her(TM) consistenting solely of the episodes she says I should watch for plot or she likes that one reasons

And dear god do I care about all these normies they're saving and then leaving without another word.

#we just watched the season 1 finale part 1 and dean and sam have just for the first time stopped the demon from killing a lady #and like!!!! #this is an entire normie family! this was you 20 something years ago #standing on their lawn baby clutched in their hands while their home burns #.......and sam and dean just fucking skedaddle??????? no plans made to keep the family safe?????? nothing about yeah that was a demon we th #...think it was after your sixth month old i just had a girlfriend die 20+ years after the first attack so you definitely aren't out of it #also yes supernatural things do in fact exist also also sorry that i just tried to commit suicide in front of you by running back into your #burning house before my brother stopped me. this is a lot to process isn't it. anyway i lied before i did not recently move here. #f: supernatural #in general i think a lot about where scene changes occur. #i often feel that they are convenient to the writers because they don't want to have to write the next part lf the conversation #and it's not the point of the story #but i'm often unsatisfied with them. #suicide cw #m: supernatural

[chaiaurchaandni]

therapy is not for losers, it is for the brave! imagine how strong you have to be to rip your beating bruised heart out and present it to a stranger. do you think you're brave?

.

ykw. i used to be a very sensitive little kid, a total crybaby. when i would get upset or frightened by something (like a honey bee that i couldn't differentiate from a wasp), my dad would hold me gently and call me a 'brave girl.' he taught me that bravery isn't about never feeling fear, rather, it is about understanding your own fear and finding a way to overcome it.

my dad passed away when i was almost 7. his absence and my grief have haunted me all my life.

but. god. isnt it amazing that i made a sad little post on the internet and added some bitter afterthoughts in the tags, like whispering my sorrow to the void, after days of experiencing the most intense suicidal ideation of my life, and a stranger read it and took the time to send an anonymous message

and isnt it amazing that you somehow picked the exact words that reminded me of the person i love the most, words that my dad might have said to me if he was here today

for most of my life, i have felt haunted by reminders of him. but this message felt like being held by him again. i feel like you have returned to me all the hope and strength that had been slipping through my hands

thank you so much anon

#this one of those moments in life that feel like poetry #god. u really never know the impact ur words can have on someone #i love humans #and i love humanity #peoplehood #dad dad club #tw suicidal ideation #tw parental death #tw death #therapy #on hope #on strength #anon #ask #yes i want to be brave #it is so much more easier and convenient to stay in the shadow of sarcasm and bitterness #bec its familiar #and it really does take courage and effort to venture out and seek help and open up and be vulnerable #but it is truly worth it #your happiness is worth it #your recovery is worth it #your healing is worth it #even if the chances are small and youre afraid it is all still worth it #you will never regret helping yourself. #and you will never regret being kind to yourself #and gentle and forgiving and patient with yourself #all these reminders are for me and whoever needs them !!!!!!!!!!!! #grief #dealing with grief #dealing with ocd and ptsd

[yourcalamity]

that post is so true but i didnt want to add to it anyways people want you to be okay with shit they wouldnt be okay with and also will get angry at you for not going out of your way for them in ways they never have and never will for you and the absolutely most hilarious people dont care about what youre going through until theyre in the same situation and suddenly its real

#everyones a hypocrite really but like its so much more common than you think esp if you assume everyone is good #im coming to terms with the fact that most people will choose to be good when given the right circumstances and convenience #but the reality is most people exist for their own comfort. whatever that comfort is yours only matters because it contributes to theirs #its not a reason to not be a better person but it is a reason that when im struggling like i am now i am genuinely in physical danger #this shit just makes me suicidal and it makes me want someone to prove me wrong #and no one ever will because they have their own shit to worry about and i am not a priority #daily emo post but yeah. thats where im at #also people will see you insanely depressed hollow with lifeless eyes and be like you should get a new job #you should get new glasses you should fix your phone you should do xyz #idk maybe you should give me a reason to believe that yall cannot live without me because i havent fucking existed in years #maybe i should leave all my shit where i am rn and walk whatever direction until im lost forever #daily thoughts i have that i communicate and its just not a big deal dont worry dont change anything at all

[widowshill]

this is just an idle thought so i'm not sure i can word this well but there's ... something about supernatural narrative ambiguity (such as in cases like carmilla) that really interests me with V's ultimate fate. i.e. i think in one reading ... she did fall from the cliffs that evening at widows' hill, just like carolyn prophesied she would & roger joked endlessly about, and liz did not save her. and victoria getting her quote "happy ending," miraculously getting sent back to be with her vanished husband into a long gone century, returning to an earlier past, is just the silver telling the story version of it. her Savannah, if you will.

"I had to return him to an earlier state of being." / "I found a way to reach into the past and undo it." / "To the rest of the world, they simply cease to be."

moreover i think it's Compelling who liz is with when she finds victoria in each case: professor stokes as V contemplates suicide on the hill, and barnabas when she vanishes into the past with jeff. stokes, who certainly is more than involved with the supernatural but who comparatively represents rational thought, research, learning, Truth and accepting even difficult truth ( "I'm afraid, my dear Miss Winters, that if he is here, he feels as I do. Your place is here. Your time is now. The only way you can join him is to die." ) and barnabas of rewritten myths, of vampires, false identities, the transmutation of women's very sense of self, who has never accepted anything be it feeling or fact and has made every effort to forcibly change it, even if that is only in the telling.

#david did not tamper with roger's brakes – matthew knew they were loose and the part fell out on the road. #i didn't kill paul – he abandoned us and i am waiting for him. #victoria winters didn't commit suicide – she went into the past to be with her husband. Liz Stoddard Truth. #sometimes it's convenient to me that she fulfills the prophecy. sometimes it's convenient that she gets trapped in The Past. #sometimes! she lives and marries roger and adopts david and has another kid and they all live happily ever after. #same story different versions. #victoria winters is like a photon interference pattern. miss particle and wave. anyway. #i don't think there's a lot of that kind of thing in ds over all – as a cohesive thing it's very much Monsters Real ! #but especially in laura's first appearance there is a tiny bit left open to wonder if it's just paranoia #vicki / guthrie / joe was also there I think? form the supernatural persecution side; with roger batting alone at enlightenment reason. #and david playing laura's role (laura carmilla) caught in the crossfire between them. the little car mechanic tidal chart understander #photography developer that is ALSO big time into ghosts and spooks and crystal balls ! #➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous，she’s hysterical，and she’s exhausted.

[well-dressed-sewer-rat]

“Nikolai with a boat” im still working on that, so here’s Nikolai and sigma on a plane

Nikolai made the flag (shocking)

“ok passengers if you look to the left you’ll see a gay pride flag” “no that’s just chuuya” “same thing” SOBBING

AND THE FUCKING BRITNEY SPEARS 2024 ON THE PLANE THIS IS PERFECTION. ILY RANTARO (PRETEND I’M BRO HUGGING YOU RN)

and then chuuya just straight gay up standing on the outside of the plane 💀💀 we got fyodor as the master of all windy apartment buildings, chuuya of in-flight airplanes, what next 😭

#nikolai of Anywhere Sigma Is Ever? #dazai of Conveniently Suicide-able Trash Cans? #💀💀💀💀 #throwing words at internet creatures [rat edition] #rantaro’s bsd fuckery [rat edition]

[fagoutboy]

no way ive gotten vagued for my poll already i really made it as a tumblr user

#and it was dishonest too lol acting like im a pussy for ppl being like 'this album sucks!' #when what i was referring to was ppl making suicide 'jokes' in the notes. which they conveniently didnt mention #that THEY DID in the post they made. lol #anyways i hope you do is all imma say #txt

[blackrosesandwhump]

The Marvelous Resurrecting Boy, Part 12

Part 11

BTHB: Lacerations

Fandom: Original work

Synopsis: In the aftermath of his friend's attack, Bram repeats his performance of the dying swan...and something happens that he didn't expect.

CW: death, blood, suicide for convenience, drugging reference

“I-I’m so sorry…”

Kian lay in the cot next to Bram’s, staring at nothing, his hands folded across his chest. A white bandage wrapped up his left forearm, lightly tinged with fresh blood.

“I didn’t mean to, really…” Kian said, his voice breaking. “I couldn’t help it…it wasn’t me.”

“I know it wasn’t.” I know that now, anyway, Bram thought. He shifted in his own cot, turning to face the other boy. The motion sent little stabs of pain through the fresh lacerations raked across his torso and arms. “At least it was me and not Ester.”

A couple of tears leaked from Kian’s eyes. “I might’ve killed her. I can’t kill you.” He managed a shaky half-smile.

“True.”

But it hurt. The claw-marks burned. Bram was used to pain, even agony, but usually, he would die and resurrect, and the injuries would be gone. This time, he had to live with the aftermath of Kian’s wild attack.

It wasn’t Kian’s fault, not really. He couldn’t help the effect that the new moon had on him. It was just the type of creature he was: a cambion, a half-human half-demon creature that turned into a monster on the darkest night of every month.

No wonder Griffin wanted to drug him, Bram thought, then immediately hated himself for thinking it.

“All right, you’re both cleared to leave,” the medic announced, breaking through Bram’s thoughts. “Keep those injuries clean and bandaged, and you should both recover just fine.” He made a mark on his pad of paper. “Better get ready for your next performances.”

The next performance. Bram sat up wearily, swung his feet down, and followed Kian out of the medical tent.

The air was slightly warmer today, carrying the faintest hint of spring on a breeze that seemed to rise out of nowhere. Bram took a deep breath. He was alive (for now). And—his pulse sped up at the thought—he might see Violet again in the audience. She might be watching.

That is, if it really was her. His footsteps slowed. What if it wasn’t? What if all this time, she was only a hallucination, a figment of his nightmares?

Even if she is just a hallucination, he answered himself, I still love her.

He looked around and found he’d stopped outside the meal tent. The newest performers were clustered there, the group in which he’d seen the winged boy.

But the winged boy wasn’t there.

***

The Marvelous Resurrecting Boy’s performance of the dying swan garnered an even larger crowd the second time.

Bram shuffled back and forth backstage, sweating slightly under his layer of white feathers. He had a feeling, an unshakable feeling, that she would be there. And if she was, nothing else would matter.

The act before him ended--Kian and Ester together this time—and the audience applauded.

Thump-thump thump-thump thump-thump. His heart took off beating, pounding like it intended to throb itself right out of his chest.

Like last time, the spear pierced him through. He barely noticed the pain as he stepped onto the stage. He played the dying swan as dramatically as ever: the slow, melancholy dance; the blood crimsoning his wings; the tragic collapse as he died.

And as he died, he saw her. She was out there, in the audience, watching him die. Watching him come back to life.

And it looked like…it looked like she was crying—

The shipwreck again—the memory winked out and back—they were standing on a beach together, watching another ship approach the shore—

He came back to life and got shakily to his feet. The noise of the audience overwhelmed him: shouts and cries of acclamation and awe, thunderous applause, the soft pop of a camera close by. He looked around, startled. Someone had taken his photograph. A photograph of the dying swan, covered in his own blood.

Someone took his arm and guided him offstage.

“They shouldn’t make you do that act,” Kian said, still holding onto Bram as he helped him down the wooden steps. “That’s a lot of blood loss, even for you.”

“I guess it is,” Bram murmured, feeling a little dizzy. But it’s worth it. It’s always worth it, to see Violet again—

“Bram.” His handler stood in the way, a peculiar expression etched across his face. “Go clean yourself up, quick as you can, and get back here immediately.”

“Why?” Kian blurted, his eyes flashing yellow for just a moment. “Can’t you see he needs to recover—”

“He doesn’t have time for that,” Bram’s handler said. “Someone wants to buy him.”

@whumping-to-conclusions @whumping-out-of-time @forthetaintedsorrow-whump @whumpy-writings @afabulousmrtake @whither-wander-whump @whumpinthepot @silver-ink-iron-words @badthingshappenbingo

#whump #whump writing #bthb #bthb card #lacerations #immortal whumpee #impaled #immortality whump #bad things happen bingo #blood #bleeding #original work #suicide for convenience #circus whump #original character #blackroseswrites #whump story #forced drugging #nightmares #memories #inhuman whumpee #flashbacks #oc whump #death wish #drugging reference #recovery whump #death #bleeding out

[joziokowalski]

"i hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child" fuck you. fuck that post and the person who came up with it why would you come up with something like this

#death is so convenient to project stuff on. life is full of all kinds of nonsense and it's always there and it is what it is #so you can't really transform it entirely by sheer power of imagination and make it fulfilling and peaceful when it's not. but Death #it's got infinite room for all your sad desperate wishes and no shape of its own to frustrate them #and that's how you get sooo perpetually dreamily suicidal and by you i mean i and i hate it #i hope i don't have to die to not be in pain i hope i don't have to die to feel loved. can i please get to a place where i'm loved #and not in pain Before i die. does this sound less improbable than afterlife. for now i think it doesn't no

[synf3ll]

nothing like getting misgendered by someone you thought you could trust to get you spiralling on the whole "transitioning is pointless, i'll never have the body i want" "no one sees me as nonbinary, they just see me for who i used to be, what i look like, or whatever's on the medical files" "hoping is worthless if i'm going to kill myself anyway" path

#i don't understand what all those other people mean when they say they love being transgender #like if i had a choice i'd be cisgender #but of course they probably have money and easy access to surgery andd hrt and a support system w friends and family and whatever #i hate being trans! i hate being queer! i'm not going to lie to you and say it's enjoyable! #not to be an edgelord but i wish i was normal. not because that's my idea of “perfect” but because it's more convenient #og #cw negativity #cw suicide #tw suicide

[occasionalsnippets]

Though a move MC could do if they want to breach containment is to have a gun on them: not for anyone else but for themselves so that they can reset time before they get captured or something...? 🤔

Time goes back until the point they won't die anymore. If they were to intentionally kill themselves without good reason, it would go back to the point where they're holding the gun but haven't pulled the trigger yet. The point where MC goes back in time is more like a save point if you want to think of it as such. Since they only have one save slot, they can't return to a previous save earlier in the timeline.

#mumblings #answered #ask #anon #Anomalous AU #tw suicide #i.e. time travelling powers only work for plot convenience; save points only occur when plot demands it and mc doesn't know when that is #time travelling is more forgiving when its someone else killing mc rather than themselves #it's kind of complicated? i have my reasons for making the time travelling thing work out this way

[im-not-a-monster]

I try so hard to be accommodating

#but that means when i try to express to someone hey i am hurt by your actions i am lonely and i miss you #i feel like you have time for anyone and anything but me #they're like well im not going to do anything rhat will inconvenience myself to help with this bc obv you understand and woukdnt want me to #are aby of these other options that dont involve me having to be your friend except when its super convenient for me going to help? no? #okay then nothing will change hope this helps #and rhen it will judt build up again until i am suicidal enough to aay hey youre hurting me again and then it will judt rwpeat

[oliveroctavius]

[rereading virtually any classic Plastic Man issue] yeah I dunno Mr. Spiegelman I still think this is a rather concerning amount of casual suicidality for an action comedy

#(referencing the Forms Stretched To Their Limits essay) #suicide mention #I get that the villain killing themselves off was a common convenient way to end golden age stories but #the rate at which side characters go ''well that's it for me'' feels genuinely sky high