#suicide letter

[a-dreamersjournal]

16th January 2023, 8:10 PM.

If I can rip my skin off of my bones, I would. If I can shatter, burn myself to ashes right here and now, I would. I don't like that my hands are shaking, that my breath is coming out all ragged, I can't feel my legs, my body, I can't do anything about it. Just take me home please. Somewhere where I'll finally know peace. Please. I'm so sick and tired of this game, this life. I can't, do this. I don't want to. This is so unfair, so unfair. Why, just why again. I'm so numb, I can't do anything about it. I need a safe place to fall, to finally... Let go. Of everything. Everyone. This feels so suffocating. So suffocating. I just want to breathe freely. Or stop breathing at all. I wish I was dead. I wish I took that final step few days ago, why am I being like this to Myself I have no idea. But that's exactly how I feel like. Anyone who loves me wouldn't want me to suffer. So just....i want this suffering to end. How much longer? How much. No. Why again. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It has to be. Please let it all be okay. Who am I even pleading at this point, I don't know.

I want to destroy myself. I don't want to feel this misery and pain anymore. Just. Let it all be over please. I don't even have the courage to end it all myself. Please let me be free. Please. Let me go. Let me go. My legs my arms my mind my lungs my heart my soul every fucking part of me is so tired. They want to give up. I want to give up.

I want to shred myself into pieces. I want to leave. I want to go. Anywhere but here. It's hurting. Its hurting so much. I don't want to cry. I can't cry. I just can't. It feels so....painful. Excruciating pain. Endless. That's all I can feel. That's all I ever feel. This.. I just want-

I don't wanna lose myself again. I'm so so scared. I can't do this anymore and I'm so tired and so scared. So fucking scared. I don't wanna go back, I don't want to lose myself. I can't handle the same pain again. Please. Please I don't wanna lose myself. I don't. I can't do this anymore. I'm so scared, so scared. Shaking of my hand and numbness of my legs is scaring me. It is so... Terrifying. I am scared and in so much pain.

I want to draw blood. My blood. Just to feel that I'm alive. My voice is shaking so bad, the effort it takes to even get a word out is exhausting me so much, making my throat hurt. I feel so helpless.

It's hurting. I Cannot make it.

#prose #self h@rm #journal #dear diary #original writing #cw: gore #poetry #literature #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #Suicide letter #the tortured poets department #the tortured poets society #writers on tumblr #writersblr #writerscommunity #dark poetry

[xxsunbeamxx]

Fuck suicide letters. I’ll leave you a suicide playlist.

#tw suicide #trauma #ptsd #sa #abuse #suicide #abandonment #exhausted #tired #death #suicide note #suicide letter #sh #vent #mental illness #depression #i want to die #traumacore #assault #suicidal #broken #unlovable #empty #numb #music #my posts #sad #pain #my thoughts #i’m so fucking exhausted

[projectiondepartment]

does anyone know if we have to give what we do not have and receive what we have no control over tomorrow. anyway. wrote something about dante's inferno, geoff rickly's someone who isn't me, and the labyrinthine structure of self-torture

#letters #this is the most nervous ive been for an essay in a while. lol #me when i actually have to write and cant just use it as a diary for my friends. Girl #Also sorry i should say that line (give what we do not have etc.) is from simon critchley's notes on suicide

[cryptidlark]

Fitz when Beloved confesses his undying love for him: idk man seems kinda gay :/ have you tried sex with a woman

Fitz whenever he suspects Beloved of having sex with a woman: what the FUCK

#fitz suggesting beloved get a gf as if he doesn’t get suicidal urges whenever beloved pays attention to anyone else 🥰🥰 #once again thinking about the letter from fool’s assassin #the unexpected son prophecy was driving him crazyyy #king CANNOT handle sharing #roteposting

[gavroche-le-moineau]

I'm late with this translation note for today's chapter but it feels really important. The line I want to highlight in Hapgood reads:

“Suicide, that mysterious act of violence against the unknown which may contain, in a measure, the death of the soul, was impossible to Jean Valjean.”

In French the first part of that line is “Le suicide, cette mystérieuse voie de fait sur l’inconnu...”

The expression translated as "act of violence" is "voie de fait," which is specifically the legal term "assault / battery," and can also be more generally an unlawful act.

"Voie" means way/route/road/lane, and "fait" is a fact/event/occurrence (coming from the verb faire = to do or to make). To help understand the literal meaning of the expression, let's look at its counterpart, "Voie de droit," which has a more straightforward translation in English as "legal recourse," i.e. "path of the law." Now if we turn back to the expression that means "assault" or "an unlawful act," it's describing the path of the fact, the event that occurred, the thing that was done.

The unlawful nature of this act is highlighted by the use of this expression, especially in its direct opposition with "the way of the law" (musical, anyone?). It seems particularly important to me that this expression is used to describe a course of action which Javert, who clings to the law above all else, will soon take.

#les mis letters #lm 5.3.11 #javert #les mis spoilers #tw suicide #les mis language

[dailykafka]

— Franz Kafka's letter to Max Brod, 1917

#wasnt sure if i should post it or nor but anyways here you go #tw suicide #tw mention of suicide #franz kafka #daily kafka #letters #alt text

[earthbaby-angelboy]

to any of my friends who say: “i want to go be with elvis,” i hear you. i see you. and i want you to know that you aren’t alone.

but, i can gaurentee you he doesn’t want to see you up there; he doesn’t want to meet you until you’ve turned old and gray, and have lived a fulfilling life.

he wants you to know that he’s watching over you. he hears you when you sing one of his songs, he reads with you when you read a book about him, and he’s there when you watch one of his movies. he delights in the things you enjoy. he loves watching you succeed, and he loves watching you live. he’ll always be there for the good, but he’s also here to support you through the bad.

he’s there when you walk through the halls of graceland. he’s there when you light a candle for him and (if applicable) say a prayer. he’s there when you’re up at night crying about whatever is bothering you. he’s there when you hold a plushie and envision yourself hugging him. when you look at the moon and talk to him, he listens. if you write him letters, he reads them. he’s always there, whenever you need him.

he is so proud of you. whether you’re struggling with picking out an outfit or struggling to keep yourself alive, he’s proud of you. if you feel like no one understands, know he does. if you feel like you’re completely alone, know he’s there. if you feel unlovable, please know, he loves you.

remember that there is no rush to meet him. he will always be there. in fact, he wants you to wait. and besides, you know what they say…

absence makes the heart grow fonder♥️.

-xx, calla

#elvis #elvis presley #ecu #poetry #idk if this counts as poetry?? #an open letter #to anyone struggling with depression #to anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts #to anyone who is lonely tonight #know that he loves you #he’s watching over you and over all of us #he’s so proud of you… #i promise.

[ofpd]

the thing is. and im always saying this. if youre in this situation. where you have never reflected on your worldview your several decades on this earth. and youre prepared to die as a result of this worldview. and a man spares your life in a way that directly and very clearly contradicts this worldview. well the logical thing to do in this situation is to kill yourself

#txt #les mis #les mis letters #suicide mention

[clevercatchphrase]

Page 270

Days in the future... (but not many. Only, like, 1 or 2)

PSYCHE! JUMPING RIGHT INTO THE NEXT MEMORY EVEN THOUGH I JUST FINISHED ONE BECAUSE I WAS TOO CHICKEN TO SPLIT SNOWDIN PART 1 IN HALF AND NOW THESE TWO NEED TO BE BACK TO BACK FOR PACING REASONS!! (This'll be the only time in the comic this happens, though. All other memories will be between arc parts as pre-established).

Reminder! In two weeks I will be taking a month long break from making/posting comic pages in order to participate in Nanowrimo! If you are a member of my patreon, you will NOT be charged for the month of November!

(Links coming in afternoon reblog!)

#undertale #undertale comic #undertale au #ghost switch #gs comic #chara #my art #tw suicidal ideation #tw suicide letter

[random-poetry-account]

#poetry #all the things im not #doc luben #14 lines from love letters or suicide notes #charles bukowski #mahmoud darwish #f. scott fitzgerald #sally rooney #conversations with friends #ryan o'connell #david wojnarowicz #a memoir of disintegration #sylvia plath #three women #mieko kawakami #heaven #hanif abdurraqib #a fortune for your disaster

[jankwritten]

Jasico Bingo Challenge: love letter

A sheet of paper, folded into thirds, dotted in places with what must be water and grass stains. The handwriting is legible in some places, and shaky in others. In the margins are small doodles of birds, clouds, trees, and other miscellaneous, abstract shapes, as if the writer’s mind kept wandering. 

TO: Nico di Angelo 

FROM: Jason Grace 

Hey, Nico. If you’re reading this, something probably happened to me. Maybe I hit my head again and lost my memories, or something, and you went through my stuff to try and find things to remind me of who I was. Maybe this fell out while we were hanging out, one day, and you saw it was addressed to you and you picked it up. Maybe I died—

However you found this, I guess, surprise! :) 

First thing’s first: I’m sorry for leaving. I know I begged you to stay, and then turned around and left, and I really hope you understand - I didn’t leave because of you. I needed to find Leo, and leaving with Piper was the easiest way to do that. I had to try and get him back. 

I wanted you to come with, but you were still healing and things were going really well with you and Will. I hope things still are, in fact. Wherever I am, I’m so proud of you for how far you’ve come, and how much I’m sure you continued to grow even after I left. 

I really love you, man. I never got to tell you that, but you’re one of my best, closest friends. You mean so much to me. You showed me a side of the world that I never would’ve seen otherwise, and gave me a space to be myself, and I will never, ever know how I deserved that. How I deserve you. 

Is that out of left field? Haha it definitely is. Sorry. 

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Nico. I didn’t want to leave. I’m so sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry I had to go and I’m sorry it had to be me, but it couldn’t be her, Nico, it can’t be her, it can’t be. It has to be me. 

It has to be. 

Here, some of the words are smeared from the water marks. Lines cross through some words that have then been re-written, as if in after-thought the author realized they were too important to delete. 

If you really are reading this, after the worst case scenario, I understand if you’re angry. I understand if you never want to think about me again, after what I’ve done. I’ll understand if you storm to your father’s palace and demand I be placed in the worst of the worst punishments for being so stupid. 

Gods. Gods, Nico, I’m never going to get to tell you how I really feel. About all of this, about everything I’m going through, I’m never going to be able to tell you and that hurts. It hurts more than knowing I’m going to die, it hurts more than getting stabbed and poisoned. I’m going to die loving you and you won’t even know until it’s too late. 

Maybe this is a stupid bad idea. Maybe I should let it die with me. Is it cruel, to tell you how I feel if I’m gone? Does this make me an awful person? 

Shit. I think I’m an awful person, Nico. I’m awful and I’m selfish and I can never choose things for myself, it always has to be for the greater good, so this is it. This is as selfish as I can be. This is all I can be for you. 

I want to see you on the other side. I want you to punch me for getting myself killed and hate me for being a hero and I want you to know that I didn’t want this but it needed to be me. It has to be me. 

I’m still wrapping my head around it, but it has to be me, okay? So if I’m really gone when you’re reading this, okay, you have to let me stay gone. Please. If you get hurt, if you die, and it’s my fault, I could never— 

Here, the letter abruptly stops. Then, it continues: 

That’s all I wanted to say, anyway. That I love you. I love you in any way I can, and even if I’ve done it silently, and stupidly, from a distance, just know that it was there, the whole time. It’s still there, wherever I am. Dead, or lost, or whatever. I love you, Nico. I’m sorry.

-- Jason Grace :)

#jasicobingochallenge2024 #love letter #tw major character death ment #tw suicidal ideation #i haven't read TOA so I don't really know what Went Down with this shit but I think Jason did journal-type letters to people #he wrote down whatever it was he wished he could say to them before he died #I think there's one to Piper about how much he loves her and wishes things could've been different for them #I think there's one to Leo where Jason pours his guts out about how much he hates him and needs him and wishes he hadn't died #(the irony of that is lost on him) #he writes one to Reyna about how he wishes they had more time to be friends again #He writes one to Hazel begging her to keep an eye on Nico. pleasing for her forgiveness because he knows she'll be so angry #one to Percy and Annabeth in a similar vein. #i thik Jason just had a lot of feelings that he never let himself feel until he decided to die for everyone #and in that moment his dams broke and he realized that he was never going to have the chance to be himself #not really #he was destined for this. he was destined to be the son of jupiter champion of hera sacrifice of olympus. #who knew the boy raised by wolves was really a lamb for the slaughter #ANYWAY. :) #pjo #jason grace #hoo #nico di angelo #jasico

[tysleria]

So I'm still salty we don't have canonical malewife Gonja and did a thing

#please i spent way too long on this #idk what the font is so i had to do this by copying individual letters #then wife was like 2 text bubbles down and i had wasted my time #BUT ANYWAYS #kim gongja #raviel ivansia #canon malewife behaviour/pos #ssscsh #sssrv #sss class revival hunter #sss class suicide hunter #im so tempted to just remake the whole romance arc with malewife/girlboss gonja&raviel #but like idk if it would be rude to upload that after groups have done actual translation n shi

[havendance]

oooo au where babs ends up taking over the suicide squad from waller permanently and how that would effect her relationship with the rest of the birds?

Oooh, this is a fun one. I used this as a reason to finally read the last few issues of Suicide Squad that I'd been saving.

When Amanda Waller decides that she wants to wash her hands of the suicide squad and that it's time to disband it, Oracle approaches her. She thinks that there's still potential in the idea. She still thinks the squad could do some good. Waller says she can have it.

The makeup doesn't stay the same. Some people stay. Others go. Oracle recruits some new faces. Poison Ivy, Count Vertigo, and Captain Boomerang are probably among the ones who leave. Bronze Tiger and Deadshot probably stay. I think Zinda would get recruited fairly quickly. The suicide squad are the sort that could use a good pilot.

Barbara is not like Waller; she keeps her identities separate. Oracle runs the squad as a mysterious figure who knows everything. She relies on her lieutenants and staff to take care of face to face negotiations. Amy Beddoes is a woman in a wheelchair who is a member of the support staff. The old guard know the truth, but eventually as they move on to other things, that is forgotten.

Eventually, she does recruit Black Canary. She needs someone who she can trust and rely on. Someone to keep the more amoral figures she has gathered together in line. What was initially intended for as a single mission turns into a longer partnership as the two strike it off. Barbara appreciated Dinah. Dinah helps her keep from falling to deeply down.

This Barbara does not have the same issues with Helena that she has in canon. She's less tapped in to the Gotham network of heroes and she doesn't have the same moral qualms. That being said, she views Helena the same way that she does many members of the squad: as, well tools is a strong word, but as a piece on the board to move in order to bring about the greater good. Helena still does not appreciate being controlled, though their relationship does smooth out with time.

#letters to the editor #averyho #barbara gordon #dinah lance #helena bertinelli #the cooler gotham antihero #suicide squad #dc #havendance writes #ask game #carthago delenda est

[yearningaces]

Angst

How do bun people deal with DEATH? How would they mourn, what are their rituals like? What would happen if a family member from nyxs family died?

Follow up

How would he feel about his mate dying?

(I love angst, give me all the angst)

Pain and anguish and death and decay and rot and-

Read the tags folks, I don't want anyone caught off guard even if things are tame and non graphic 👍

Bunny-folks are deeply in tune with nature and earth. I think for them it isn't as mournful as it is for humans. You lay your dead in the earth, bury them deep, cover them with a blanket, and feel comforted knowing they will feed the land that fed them for their lifetime

Nyx is of similar mindset... This is where the issues begin

Humans are loud about how death feels to them. Some are quiet and grieve silently, some are vocal especially if it's not then grieving.

So for Nyx's partner to pass of course he's in agony, his safe space, his love, his incredible mate who made him feel strong and protected and capable of anything and so cherished... Is just gone.

He could take solace in them resting peacefully in the earth, as if in the deepest sleep they so very much deserve for such a life they lived

But humans hardly let one of their own rest even after death.

Because many places have laws for the dead. You can't be buried here, you can't be buried this way, you have to be buried in an approved zone you have to be bound in a box you have to be taken away by a mortician and carved open and analyzed and prepared all alone with no one to protect your body and it's law and Nyx is breaking apart because the last thing he can do is protect what was yours and let you be laid to a gentle peace but instead your body is hoarded and hounded by greed and others deciding what to do with you even though they don't know you-

For the first time Nyx feels almost feral, he wants to bite to kick to scream to fight and sob and wail and mourn he just wants you to be given peace and rest so why won't these damned strangers leave???

He has to be held back actually. Whenever someone eventually comes to take your body for 'approved' handling of a corpse, he has to be held back by his family or even another human at worst because he will fight everyone with everything in him because they can't take you life already left you, death has claimed you and what little of you he can lay to peace is being taken and he's screaming his throat raw until his voice gives out and he's a trembling exhausted slumping form.

You're buried in a cemetery. In a box. No blanket to tuck you in for your final rest, no gentle earth to hold you and express its gratitude for your return to its grasp. You've been buried close to strangers. His family that has become your own is nowhere here.

The cemetery is far colder than the warmth of the forest where the only headstones are the favorite type of trees planted where someone has been laid to rest.

Nyx is in agony. He's lost you, and he's ready to break.

But he can't even find peace in ensuring you've been given the rest you deserve, and for that he wishes he could dig into the cold soil and rest with you, just so you're not alone down there, just so he's not alone up here.

If no one stops him, he very well might.

It's dark so late at night.

The cemetery is cold.

No one is here.

He weeps.

He digs.

#letters of yearning #x reader #gender neutral reader #monster boyfriend #nyx the bunnyboy #tw non graphic death #tw mention of death #tw implied suicide #monster x reader #monster romance #was that angsty?

[pumpkinspice-prouvaire]

Javert when Valjean doesn't kill him at the barricades, giving him undeniable proof that a man is not necessarily evil just because the law says he is, and he's forced to reevaluate his entire belief system:

#javert derailed #les mis letters #les mis 5.4.1 #suicide tw

[rapidstar64]

My personal collection of unhinged poetry memes

#poetry #unhinged memes #richard siken #crush quotes #14 lines from love letters or suicide notes #doc luben #I’m sorry I am gatreful