#summer is like yeah im a little crazy but u know what else i am? smart

[rrat-king]

walk with me bird,,, thinking about kristen's lack of self preservation especially in sophmore year- she does crazy shit again and again and it is funny but like. when you actually look at it, its like this elaborate performance. so much going on in kristen's brain, losing her family, (we know she's clearly still thinking about it with the start of sy being her returning to her brothers) losing her religion and then recreating it and still feeling lost.

all her life being full and told that this is the thing- that will protect you as long as you are good so kristen is good and then realizes oh. i was meant for something terrible actually, my church who vowed to protect me is actually trying to make me a hellmouth. like oh. great well i dont feel safe in that anymore, im always arguing with my parents because even they are still polluted with their religion but she lets it go she tries to find something else. and then she ends fy with her new religion and immediately doesnt like it, over the summer it still doesnt click and she changes it again, she puts her faith or even lack of it at the forefront as she does these insane choices, like a leap of faith. like oh someone has got to save me if i do this- surely someone will. (also pushing my agenda of kristen's faith eventually forming into believing in her friends bc they are the ones who always save her not the gods even though i do love cass)

like ally talking about chaos not being cute anymore really makes me think of all this- because it's like kristen being like oh well if it goes wrong than at least it's some sort of relief from this pressure of being something and at least im not plagued with thinking about not being good enough for my own parents. like her being so not aggressive but trying to counter sandralynn too- like not wanting to view her as a parental figure but as a person. kristen like almost tries to parent her in a way which sounds weird but its very like she can't turn it off in her head because she's been raised with expectation so she does feel on the same level as adults when in reality she is not but kristen believes like oh i can solve this here maybe u shouldnt be doing this thing in her relationship. i think part of it is kristen not wanting to see a parent become better and then have to wonder why her's didn't. like was she not enough for them to want to me better. it's so complex i adore kristen's character and it kinda surprises me how often she becomes very 2d in the fandom but alas, many thoughts about her

i am absolutely walking with you. i love what your talking about with her dynamic with sandra lynn (which. i will always be crazy about her and sandra lynn they are just both so intersting in thier relationships) but yeah it makes a lot of sense that she doesn't know how to properly interact with her if you think about the amount of pressure she has been given to be a spiritual leader through church or if you hc her as a parentified older sister to her little brothers (which i do personally) so she's not thinking about her interaction with sandra lynn as like, a regular adult cuz she hasn't really had those interactions before, especially when it comes to an adult not trusting her.

and i think that's why she just feels so insane in sophmore year, jsut like, she's going from something super rigid to something where it feels like she can do anything and that's fucking scary. like she has a place to stay but she doesn't really have any parents to answer to, she has a god but she has so much doubt it doesn't feel reliable, all she really has as stability is her friends and her girlfriend, and i feel like she is just incredibly reckless cuz like, she's doing better but its almost like she has nothing to lose? but she does. and she did, and i think that was what beardsley was saying about the chaos not being cute anymore, like kristen was acting like she was invinvible at times and that not only got her hurt, but also those around her, and im excited to see how she grows from that.

#anon beloved thank you so much for the ask #bird answers #d20 #fantasy high #kristen applebees #dimension 20

[hopelikethemoon]

Cruel Dreams (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Cruel Dreams Rating: PG-13 Length: 2800 Warnings: Angst Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set November 1991. Set directly after Stircrazy. Summary: Reader has a dream.

@grapemama​​​ @seawhisperer​​​ @huliabitch​​​ @beccaplaying​​​ @rogrsnbarnes​​​@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns​​ @gooddaykate​​​ @livasaurasrex​​@ham4arrow​​​@plexflexico @readsalot73​​ @hdlynn​​​ @lokiaddicted​​​ @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale​  @roxypeanut​​​ @snivellusim​​​ @lukesrighthand​​ @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts​​​@synystersilenceinblacknwhite​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @exrebelshocktrooper​​@awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie​​​ @swhiskeys​​​ @lady-tano​​​ @u-wakatoshii​ @space-floozy​​@cable-kenobi​​​ @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes​​​ @findhimfives​​​ @pedrosdoll​​​ @frietiemeloen​​​@arrowswithwifi​​​ @random066​ @uncomicalhumour​​ @heather-lynn​​ @domino-oh-damn​@cyarikaaa​​​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​​​ @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl​​​  @yabby-girl​​ @xqueenofthecraziesx​​​ @punkass-potato​@coredrive​​​ @pascalesque​​​@theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar​​​ @sabinemorans​​​ @buckstaposition​​​ @holkaskrosnou​​​@yespolkadotkitty​​​ @fleetwoodmactshirt​​​ @seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie​​​ @jaime1110​​​@katlikeme​​​

Sometimes your dreams were cruel. Sometimes your dreams took you back to your childhood, to evenings spent hiding from your mother, summer days in the park with your father… Sometimes you even dreamed of Lance, which almost always filled you with a sense of regret, because you used him to fill a hole you knew he couldn’t fill. He fell for you and you were just passing the time. 

But the worst dreams were the ones that were about Javier. Because those weren’t fragmented dreams of past follies — they were almost always dreams about what could have been. A better world than the one you lived in.

There had to be something wrong with you. You kept dreaming about him and it did nothing to help that deep sense of longing you felt for him. 

“You asshole!” You shouted with a laugh as you swung open your apartment door, relieved to see him waiting on the other side for you. “You gave me a fucking heart attack.” You informed him as you hobbled forward, without hesitation, and threw your arms around him. 

Javier hesitated for a split second, before he curled his arms around her, running his hand up and down the length of her back. “Hey, hobble horse.” He murmured, leaving her feeling warm all the way to her core.  

“Oh, fuck you.” You laughed, punching him in the arm lightly, trying to shake these new feelings you felt. 

“How are you feeling?” He questioned, giving your waist a gentle squeeze. 

“Better now,” You pulled back, grinning up at him. “Much better now.” It had been three days since you’d last spoken to him — he hadn’t called like he promised. 

“Yeah?” Javier mirrored your grin, his gaze flickering to your lips for the briefest moment, before he shoved his hands into his leather jacket and stood awkwardly there in the hallway. “I’m glad to hear it.”

“Come in,” You offered, grabbing ahold of his arm at his elbow, guiding him inside your apartment. “Sorry about the mess…” You scrunched up your nose as you gestured to the empty beer bottles and the take out boxes sitting on your kitchen counter. 

“You got shot, baby… No one’s expecting you to clean your apartment for the likes of me.” Javier assured you, keeping a hand at your back as he helped you over to the sofa. 

“Just don’t tell Steve… he’ll tell Connie that I’m drinking with my meds and…” You pushed your fingers through your unbrushed hair, “Well, I’m not taking the Percocet.”

Javier nodded his head understandingly, “You taking anything?”

“Ibuprofen.” You shrugged, adjusting the pillow on the coffee table as you lifted your leg and carefully placed it there. “It works well enough.”

“As long as you’re not in pain,” He said, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he sat down in the chair across from you. “So… how is it really?”

You laughed breathily, rubbing your hand over a spot above the bandage. “I’m miserable.” You admitted. “I miss work. I’m constantly tired, no matter how much sleep I get.”

Javier frowned, “When do you think you’ll be back in the office?”

“Probably after New Years.” You shrugged, rubbing at your forehead as you sank back against the sofa. “I’ve got some PT in a couple weeks. I’ll probably have a week or two of desk duty, but I’ll be back eventually.”

Javier scratched at the back of his neck, “Murphy’s great and all, but… The office fucking sucks without you.”

“I’m flattered,” You grinned. “I’m officially more important than Steve, but still not important enough to call.” 

“Fuck.” He breathed out, leaning forward and resting his arms on his legs, staring at a spot on the ground. “I know.”

“Three days and only Connie has called.” You informed him, shaking your head. After waking in the hospital with Javier there, you had stupidly convinced yourself that this had been the precipice of something else. That all these stupid feelings you harbored for him would come to a head… but that meant, he had to reciprocate them, and maybe he didn’t. 

Javier dragged his fingers through his hair, exhaling heavily. “I haven’t got an excuse, baby. I know I fucked up.”

“Big time.” You retorted, pursing your lips. “You’re also too far away.” You gestured to where he was sitting. “Is my hair that bad?”

He arched a brow.

“I haven’t washed it since I got home,” You admitted with a grimace. “I’m sure there’s an aroma.”

“Why haven’t you?”

“Well, I’m not supposed to get the bandaging wet and I only have a shower.” You shrugged. “I could do the kitchen sink trick, but my balance isn’t the best currently.”

Javier nodded his head, resting his palms against his knees as he stared across the room at you. His expression was unreadable, but it made a heat bloom in your lower belly that you were quick to tamp down. 

It was a Friday night and he was with you. 

“I could help.”

“Help me shower?” You snorted. “You’ve gotta buy me dinner before you get me naked, Javi. Sorry to break it to you.”

Javier’s eyes widened and he laughed nervously, “Your hair.” You caught the way his tongue darted out over his bottom lip, the way he shifted in his seat. “I could help you with your hair.”

Fuck. 

You smiled warmly at him, “I’m gonna take you up on the offer. My hair is driving me crazy.”

He rose to his feet then, shucking off his leather jacket and tossing it into the seat of the chair. “Shampoo in the bathroom?”

You nodded, “The two-in-one.”

“You’re one of those people?” He snorted, giving you a look before he headed down the hallway to your bathroom. “I don’t know if I can be friends with a two-in-one user.” He remarked as he returned with the bottle and a towel draped over his shoulder. 

You flipped him off, “I like the smell.”

Javier popped the lid open, sniffing it. “Smells like cherries.”

“Precisely.” You retorted as you peeled yourself up off the sofa, “And it’s cheap.” 

He offered you his arm, letting you lean on him as you limped your way into the kitchen. 

“Don’t get shot. It’s not pleasant.”

“I’ll try not to,” Javier chuckled humorlessly as he sat the bottle on the counter beside the sink. “It’s not pleasant seeing your partner bleed out either.” He sighed, digging his teeth into his bottom lip as he glanced back at you. 

You ran your hand from his forearm, up to his shoulder, “I can’t even imagine.” You whispered, letting your fingers stray higher so you could casually brush them against his cheek. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for your quick thinking.” 

Javier smiled a little, pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek. “I’m glad you’re still here.”

Your lashes fluttered as you let your hand fall away from his face, turning towards the sink. “Try not to drown me.”

“I won’t.” 

You reached out and turned the faucet on, holding your hand under the flow as you waited for it to get to the right temperature. “Thank you for this.”

“Whatever you need, baby.” He drawled out as you leaned forward beneath the water, gripping the edge of the sink to brace yourself, taking some of the weight off your leg.

Javier stood beside you, cupping his hand beneath the faucet to splash some water onto the hair at the nape of your neck, fingers playing through your hair, before he squirted some shampoo onto your head. 

It felt like heaven. You should’ve prepared yourself for the sensation of Javier’s fingers playing through your hair, the way warmth fanned through every limb, making you ache in a distinct way. 

A soft moan escaped you as he massaged his fingers into your scalp. It felt ridiculously good to be touched like that. You managed to stifle the sound — at least you hoped you had. 

Javier worked his fingers through your hair, lathering it up before rinsing it clean. You mourned the loss of his touch the moment he shut off the faucet. 

You leaned your weight against the edge of the counter as you lifted your head, grabbing the towel and wrapping it around your hair. “Now I won’t be an offence to your senses.” You teased lightly as you turned to look at him.

Javier was painfully close to you — so close you could practically feel his breath on your skin. You exhaled shakily as you kept one hand gripping at the counter. 

“Javi—“

“We—“

Your heart felt like it was going to beat right out of your chest. “Am I crazy Javier? I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just…” You closed your eyes for a moment, “Humor me for a moment. Pretend I’m still drugged up, that I won’t remember any of this and just…” You met his intense gaze once more. “Is this all in my head?”

“You’re not crazy.” 

You leaned in to him, “I thought I was going to die in your arms and… I was glad it was you.” You admitted, “And then you were there when I woke up and I felt like maybe something had changed.”

“Nothing’s changed.” Javier told you and he reached out to curl his hand around your hip as you shrank at that admission. “I’ve always felt this way about you.”

You inhaled shakily as you looked up at you, “This isn’t just because I almost…” You swallowed your words. Didn’t people feel something profound for the person who was there with them when they almost died? 

Javier gave your hip a squeeze as he leaned in closer. His nose brushed against yours, lips so close to yours that you were certain he was going to finally kiss you. 

How many times had you pictured kissing him? How many times had you dreamed of moments just like this?

“We shouldn’t.” Javier whispered, pressing his forehead against yours, breathing heavily. “Work—“

You curled your fingers around the back of his neck, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Screw work.” You tilted your head, letting your lips gingerly brush against his. It felt like sparks were tingling through your veins. 

Javier canted his head to the side, his lips dragging over yours. Your arms slid over his shoulders as you rose up on your toes and sank into the moment. 

He pulled you towards him, supporting your weight for you as he kissed you with a quiet desperation that made you wish your fucking leg wasn’t cramping up on you.

“Fuck—“ You tore your mouth away, grabbing at his shoulders for support. “I’ve been upright for too long.” 

Javier stole another kiss, before he swept you into his arms, “I’ve got you, baby.” 

You pressed your face against his shoulder and laughed as he carried you back into the family room, your wet hair dripping all over his shirt, turning the pink fabric red. 

“You’re not going to run now, are you Javier?” You questioned as he helped you get comfortable on the sofa, propping your leg up on a pillow.

Javier hesitated, “Do you want me to stay?”

You gave him a look, “If you know what’s good for you, you should stay.” You patted the sofa beside you. “Please.”

Javier scratched at his jaw, hovering above you for a moment before he sank down onto the sofa beside you. “I don’t know how to do this.” He admitted, rubbing his hands together. 

“I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be in the office for the next two and a half months.” You remarked, scraping your teeth over your bottom lip as you studied him. “What do you want?

Javier cleared his throat, his eyes flickering towards you, “You.”

Your heart skipped a beat, “Good.”

“I don’t…” Javier sighed heavily as he reached out and curled his fingers around your hand, rubbing his thumb along the side of your hand. “You know I’m not a relationship type, baby.”

“Did I say anything about a relationship?” You arched a brow. “But I’m not going to keep pretending that I don’t have feelings for you.” 

He squeezed your hand. “Yeah?”

You grinned at him, nodding your head. “I don’t need a relationship, but I think we should atleast see what’s here.” You gestured between you. 

Javier’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, “I think I can do that.” He rubbed at the side of his neck, shifting on the sofa. “It’s why I didn't call. I didn’t know…” He looked away, pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek. “I clammed up.”

“Well, no more clamming up.” You laughed softly, trying to mask a grimace of pain as you shifted yourself closer to him, turning your leg wrong. You turned towards him, brushing your fingers over his jaw as you nudged him to face you. “No one has to know.”

His eyes searched yours for a long moment before he leaned in and kissed you again. That first kiss hadn’t been a fluke, you felt like every nerve in your body was reacting to the feel of his lips against yours. 

You curled your fingers around the back of his neck, practically crawling into his hold — it was awkward and uncomfortable, but worth every second of it. 

Javier reluctantly pulled away, breathing heavily as he pressed his forehead against yours. “You’re hurt.”

“I know.” You brushed your thumb over his bottom lip, grinning at him. “But if you only knew how long I’ve waited for this…”

“I bet I could guess.”

“Oh?” You snorted. “Try me.”

He gently dragged his knuckles over your cheek, meeting your gaze, “Records room… after you broke up with Lance.”

Your brows shot upwards, “Then why didn’t you kiss me?”

“We were at work… Steve was right there,” He shrugged a shoulder. “And you were sad and it felt like… I didn’t want to take advantage.”

You rolled your eyes, “You are a good man, Javier.” You told him, stealing one more kiss before you readjusted yourself so you could lay back against him. “I think you’re sitting on the remote.” You told him.

“Sure you don’t want me to leave and give you a call instead?” He teased as he fished the remote out from beneath him, turning the TV on. “What’s been on?”

“The Past Does Not Forgive has been on every night.” You told him, tilting your head to look back at him, “I’ve been dying to hear your thoughts on it.”

“Last time I checked in, I thought Esteban should cut his losses and get the hell out of that situation.” He curled his arm around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. 

You turned your head and kissed his cheek, “He’s a fool blinded by love.”

“Aren’t they all.” Javier murmured, nuzzling your shoulder. “This feels right.”

You rested your hand over his, sliding your fingers in between his. “I don’t know what took us so long…”

A phone started ringing, preventing Javier from responding to you. Jarring you awake.

Awake.

You groaned as you pulled yourself upright, your neck aching from the awkward position you’d been laying on the sofa. 

You twisted around and grabbed the phone off the cradle, pressing it to your ear, “Hello?”

“Hey—“

“Javier.”

“Did I wake you?”

You grumbled, “Yeah. It’s fine.” 

“You should sleep.”

“I’m awake now.” You snapped, squinting your eyes as you looked across the room and glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s almost midnight.”

Javier cleared his throat, “Yeah…”

“Asshole.” You huffed. “Did you have fun?”

“No.” He sighed, “Went for a drink and came back home.”

“At midnight.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

You pinched at the bridge of your nose, “Nothing. I’m just jealous that I can’t go out.” In reality, you felt a spike of jealousy go through you that was centered around the idea of anyone else being the one to kiss Javier. 

That dream had done a number on you. 

“Are you coming over tomorrow?”

“Maybe.” 

You rolled your eyes, tucking the phone between your shoulder and ear. “Maybe.” You parroted back. “Can’t give me a definite?”

“I’m gonna try.”

“Alright.” You wished it didn’t come off so harshly, but the undercurrent of annoyance was there. Your stupid dream had left you wanting something you couldn’t have. 

There was nothing you wanted more than to be curled up on your sofa with Javier. To spend the next few weeks recuperating with his arms around you. Stealing kisses, savoring moments, and having what you wanted.

You stuffed those emotions back into the box they belonged in. 

“Sorry.” You offered gently. 

“It’s all good, baby.” Javier murmured. “I’m here for you.”

You smiled to yourself, “I’m here for you too.” And maybe you wouldn’t always be, but at least you were right now. 

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader

[tsukidotcom]

Haikyuu HC to COVID-19 (Karasuno edition)

This is horrible 💀 im just so bored so I made whatever this mess is KFJSJDMSK enjoy

Hinata Shouyou

huh? isn’t it just the flu?

“No, hinata. People have died from it-“

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-

goes bananas

whenever someone sneezes or coughs, his soul leaves his body as he runs away to sanitize/wash his hands for a miserably long time.

eats an expired can of peaches thinking it’s his last resort

lowkey happy school is closed because homework sucks

but also highkey hates it because now all volleyball tournaments are closed

then gets all angry when he realizes he’d have to do online school???!!?? like wtf he got jipped.

thinks they could still do volleyball if they did online calls cus if the school can do it,, then vOLLEYBALL CAN

will probably miss half of the class calls from oversleeping/forgetting anyway.

sheepishly ask yamaguchi, yachi or tsukishima for help on assignments/notes. (he will NEVA ask kageyama. he’s always in competition with him here!)

still practices volleyball 24/7 in his backyard or room (maybe even with his baby sister??)

He’s really good at practicing all by himself from practicing all alone in middle school—

but will probably go crazy being alone all the time with his family. he just wants to play volleyball with the team again.

looks up “what to do when you’re bored” or “what to do at home while in quarantine” on youtube

Kageyama Tobio

probably says he’s immune to the corona because he’s just better than everyone else

doesn’t really think it’s real until school shut down because of it

When he sees that corona is airborne he wont know what that means so he’d probably think it’s produced by air itself?? which makes him think air is trying to kill the human race?? and will be so confused as to why it decided to pop up now???

DESPISES online school. He had enough trouble understanding it from the gecko, so now he has to learn it basically all by hiMSELF?!?

And no way is he just gona email the teacher for help. If he does it’s gonna be only once in his lifetime. Anymore than that he thinks he’s doin too much. He doesn’t want his teachers thinking he’s dumb 😭

he says literally nothing during the calls he just tries to pay attention? and fails because he’s on a computer. in his room. alone. he’s bound to daze off or stare at a pen for 5 minutes.

Obvi still practices volleyball. Very much misses it. At least Hinata had his sibling to practice with him. tobio is a lone wolf in his household.

When his mom goes out to get groceries he gives her one of those doctor masks so she doesn’t catch corona.

Few moments later through the internet he realizes that corona is smaller than air molecules so if you can breathe through something you could still get it so he struggles for an hour thinking he just killed his mother

When his mom is back he keeps his distance in case she’s carrying the plague

omg did she just cough or am i imagining things no she definitely coughed she has corona oh oh god

In reality she was just clearing her throat.

is lowkey worrying about everyone and how they are 🥺 (yes, maybe even hinata).

thinks he’s science smart by calling it covid-19 than corona.

Asahi Azumane

He just worries about everyones health

like he just imagines the worst case scenario’s and starts to get really worried if people got it. Always checks on everyone and asks if they’re feeling any symptoms of corona ❤️

He’s either not gonna get it or he gets it and dies there’s no inbetween

but he’s jesus himself so theres no way he nor anyone in his bloodline can get it

is very happy to know that dogs can’t get it.

Takes online school seriously and tries his best

And is honestly so sad school just ended??? even if it’s temporary, he could be learning, playing volleyball, and going about his day instead of staying in a cage. he’s a third year so—how would graduation even go..?

always is up to date on the news !! and notifies everyone if anything important is added/changed.

Always tells everyone to stay safe! Whether through text or before ending a call.

only buys a lot of toilet paper from the fear of there being no toilet paper in stock since evERYONE IS BUYING IT-

Starts to try new hobbies that he put off for the longest time cus quarentine is rlly getting to him.

Is all out a family guy so he doesn’t mind the extra time with his family.

Nishinoya Yu

OAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA

420 blazin’

thinks going outside means you’re instantly gonna die from corona attacking your white blood cells (????)

but also probably doesnt care as he goes outside like everyday to run around and get rid of energy (and to practice volleyball, of course).

also why is it called white blood cells when blood is red ☠️ smh

Buys 101611018320129 bags of chips because that’s his comfort food

yay more gaming time!!!

Noya🐒: Tanaka do u wana play minecraft 2getr latr?

Tanaka🍌: HELL YEAH!!

doesn’t shower for three days straight because screw personal hygiene!! No more school!!! Can do whatever he wanted!! It’s basically summer!!!

until he’s forced to do online school.

Is def the class clown. Probably somehow kicks the teacher out of the call through a little bit of hacking.

“alright guys so i’ll be you’re substitute teacher for the day-“

tbh acts the same as he would in school. maybe a little more rebellious because, i mean, what is the teacher gonna do? send him to DETENTION? call his mOMMY?

Calls/spams literally everyone in his contacts because he’s so bored and lonely. Answer him!! Y’all will be on facetime for hours!!

He’s fun to facetime.

Will call you a loser if you don’t have an apple iPhone because then he can’t facetime you and facetiming is one of his favorite things to do to pass time (besides gaming)

HE A TRUE GAMER

Okay but he lowkey still tries at school for the sake of his grades and his future ;-; maybe calls asahi or sugawara for help??

always looks up his homework on the internet to see if he can get an answer key or something (he did that anyway even before corona but)

will do one subject for 3 hours thinking he’s finally done with everythinf till he realizes he has like 4 other subjects and needs to do those too.

Sending memes all the time

Tsukishima Kei

oh, what about corona again?

honestly could give NO fucks??. like ABSOLUTELY ZERO. nonxistent.

doesn’t even remember it’s still happening half the time.

is surprisingly very knowledgeable about corona.

he’s just smart and sciency¿ so he understands the ins and outs of corona like how it works and how its spread.

so if you tRULY want any update or background info on the corona virius, ask Tsukishima.

bitch don’t touch me you have rabies.

doesn’t care that he’s obligated to stay at home because he would have stayed either way. he very much likes being alone.

might go a little crazy cooped up in his room so he’ll hang with his brother/family or go outside before he says ‘okay that’s enough’ and goes back to his room.

isolation? oh okay *puts on headphones*

he rlly gonna be rocking it out in his room cus he can listen to music all day any day

developes a really bad sleep schedule since he had no way to get rid of the energy he got rid of at school.

still a huge tease so he says everyone has the corona virius.

is never online on social media which means he’s never up to date with his frIENDS. Doesn’t have a clue what those dipshits are doing and could care less (besides yamaguchi,, they probably facetime or call thru skype or something).

I bet the whole volleyball squad has a groupchat and honestly he puts all notifs on mute cus his phone keep goin DING DING DING DI DING ID DID IDKNG DING DIG

Brother: Omg why are you getting so many text messages?

Tsukki: Shut up

if he is online on the gc and he texts it would be simple replies like “Hi” “Okay.” “No.” “Goodbye.” and then he’s gone for another week

every first year is begging on their knees for tsukishima to give the answers or help them out and he obviously says: go do the hw yourselves idiots

besides yamaguchi!!!! again!! cus theyre gay for each other

maybe practices once in awhile with his brother or alone in his backyard but he doesn’t care

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

buys 101817 pounds of toilet paper because everyone else is? but not because of the same reason as asahi. he thinks toilet paper is the cure to corona.

GO STUPID AAAAAAAAA GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA-

probably has a part time job at a grocery store so he still has to go to work 😭 i dont even know how he could have a job in the first place he’s probably always late-

still gamin with noya of course

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFTT

also buys like all the junk food thats in stock. and since he works at the grocery store he gets a ton of coupons and deals.

texts Kiyoko everyday goodmorning ❤️❤️❤️ and goodnight 😘😘 texts just to be left on read.

“i love it when she ignores me !!!”

scrolls through tiktoks for 1000 hours to pass time

School Is For Losers!!

similar to noya, he thought it was basicaly summer until he realized they were gonna be doing online school. literally had a fit and said he didnt wanna do jack squAt

Laughs so hard when nishinoya somehow kicks the teacher out of the call he’s like laughing so loud and hard he starts crying

all of the sudden has a better view on school

gets excited when he sees nishinoya on the call

makes funny and ugly ass faces when the teacher isn’t looking. everyone laughs and the teacher’s like 🤨

probably uses the green screen effect so he can change hus background (somehow) and accidentally misclicks a file so a girl wit a bikini becomes his background for .5 seconds before changing it to a cursed meme:

doesn’t get half the shit the teacher is talking about

but it’s okay because the half he doesn’t get is the other half noya gets

and the half noya doesnt get is the orher half tanaka gets

they’re two peas in a pod 🥰

until they try explaining it to each other and suddenly get confused?? mental malfunction ¿?

yeah im SMART!!!

s -

m -

a -

r - penis

t -

Daichi Sawamura

quite calm about the whole coronavirus

like he knows it is serious and understands how it is spread but he’s still calm about it??

tells everyone to sanitize and wash hands on a regular. and social distancing!!

honestly still wakes up like he does on normal school days and does all his academics just fine.

he even does gym activities (besides volleyball) for 30 minutes to an hour!!!! he be running on that treadmil! getting stronk!

does each subject on his own for 20-40 min each day. he’s really good at self discipline

makes sure sugawara and asahi are up to date on school work and will gladly help.

sadly can’t help the first years (and probably second years) because that info is deep in his brain and basically forgot how to do it after a year or two of not using it.

VERY VERY VERY sad that volleyball nationals are cut off. this is his last year and for it to be??? gone??? just because of some flu?!?! hates it.

he wishes school to go back and still has hope that school will go back to normal in a couple of weeks (even though it’s a slim chance).

asks the teacher questions whenever he has questions. He’s also vv considerate so he’ll ask questions he knows the answer to but asks them for anyone who’s confused ab it/wants to ask but is too shy. (literally i lov daichi sm)

Eats a healthy amount of everything

asks asahi for any updates on corona even though he’s quite up to date himself. he just wanna make sure he didn’t miss anything.

also doesn’t mind being around his family. he’ll do more chores around the house to help his parents out :> he’s literally perfect wtf

def does worry about everyone in the volleyball gc and anyone else he has contact with. Will also email classmates and ask if they’re doing all right. Even away from volleyball he’s a team player ☺️✌️

Is happy for the rest of the day when asahi tells him dogs can’t get corona.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

oaoaiquqhdkoaiaagadjsiwi?

doesn’t know what to believe anymore

keeps in touch with everyone!! always online 24/7 on social media, vball gc, you name it.

Literally everyone is acting so normal why are people so calm am i the only one worrying about this and the worlds future like this year has been really bad so far for not just me but the whole nation actually the entire world honestly like war almost broke out in january and now this corona stuff is really buttering my crissont the wrong way-

Even though tsukishima literally gives No Fucks, yamaguchi is the complete opposite.

like tsukki and yamaguchi call on skype and eVERY TIME yamaguchi starts with ‘how have you been? do you feel sick at all? have you drank enough water today?’ and so on

“What are you even worrying about?”

“Well...what if you get the corona virius?... it can be deadly, you know!! Thousands of people have died from it!!! The fact school is shutting down and people are panicking is making me feel like i should be panicking-“

Tsukki will then snarkily reassure him it’s fine and people their age are the least likely to get it bad.

Yamaguchi will feel a little better afterwords

“Thank you, Tsukki!”

Tsukki will ‘tch’ it off

Even though he gets really good grades he has triuble finding motivation to do any school work?? doing school work in his own home? 😐

His home was kinda a place he can chill whereas school is a place he can be fully focused

but now his home is ALSO school??!!?

Luckily he understands the work, at least.

When he sees tsukishima on the call, too, he instantly says hello.

“Tsukki!! Hey!! 😁”

“Shut up.”

“Gomen, Tsukki.”

Yeah. Even when they aren’t at school, he’s still the same as always.

He takes extra care of his family and always stays in touch with other relatives. Especially grandpa and grandma. THE SECOND he learned elderly people are at more risk you bet your ass he’s calling them making sure they’re okay. He checks up on them everyday now.

He peobably practices volleyball a little, too. He’s more focused on schoolwork though.

Sugawara Koushi

Have you guys ate dinner yet? 🥺

obviously checking up on everyone

he would fail as a mother if he didn’t.

Actually reads in his free time?? He finally has time on his hands to read these books so.... here we are!

Wakes up at a scheduled time everyday (minus weekends. Maybe sleeps for an extra hour or so).

He dresses in pjs rather than actual clothes because he’s not going anywhere with this social distancing thing.

Always tries to lighten the mood when all the students are on the online call. Maybe crack some joke or innocently play around with the effects.

He still pays close attention in class and does quite well on his own. No help from his parents! He can do everything on his own! He a big boi!

Does homework really well, too. Probably does extra work or more work than needed just because it makes him feel good afterwords.

Honestly i can see him cooking in his free time. If he doesnt feel like reading or scrolling mindlessly through his phone, he gonna cook.

Will make the best cookies in the universe.

HAS A HECK OF A SWEET TOOTH. NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT HIM GETTING HIS PRETTY HANDS ON SUM TREAT

Honestly isn’t too good with exercise so he might gain a few pounds or grow the smallest chub 🥺🥺🥺 he would be so cute omfg.

is realy involved with his family!! they play a board/card game every friday night and have the best time.

if he has a dog, cat, or literally any animal you know he’s gona be hanging with them since he has more time.

Still! Playing! Volleyball! I mean by now every boy is practicing at least a little bit. He would probably be in his backyard playing volleyball with his family. Theyy’d set up a net and everythin! They’re all rookies at it but he still cherishes the moments with them.

It’s honestly still practice. Better than nothing

He talks about how his family plays volleyball and everyone is so jealous like 😭😭 makes him more grateful hearing half the volleyball team saying they have to practice alone.

Watching youtube videos of random videos/vines making him giggling.

“Hey, Dachi, look at this video.”

IS A SWEETHEART STFU !!!

#haikyuu headcanons #sports anime #anime #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi #hinata shōyō #kageyama headcanons #tanaka ryuunosuke #yū nishinoya #haikyuu #dachi headcanons #anime headcanons #sugawara koushi #sugawara headcanon #tanaka headcanons #haikyuu asahi #asahi headcanons #hinata shouyou #coronavirus #coronamemes

[heartau]

Oooh you went to Neocity right? I’d love to hear descriptions of the boys in the words of a writer 🥰

omg this sounds fun !!! ok before i start this i just wanna say this is from what i personally saw when i saw them live. i was relatively close to the stage, enough to make eye contact and to be waved at, so i’ll do my best!!

taeyong: seeing him in real life was a little surreal because he looks exactly how he does in pictures and videos which is already jarring because he’s already really beautiful through those. he has really big, expressive eyes and the warmest smile; every time he would look at the audience he’d have this small smile that looked like pride. it was really really heartwarming to see. he has such a calming, relaxed and cute aura durings ments but once he started to perform... whew! his head also really big, honestly a lot of their heads were really big in real life which is adorable idjdjddk, but yeah!! i made eye contact with him a number of times and you would think his gaze would be intimidating but it really really wasnt! the only word i can describe the feeling i got from him is motherly :(

johnny: first and foremost, i do not believe that he’s 6’1... that man is gigantic. his proportions are so good, his leg to chest ratio is so... [chef’s kiss]. what you see of him in videos is truly what he is in real life, he’s so goofy and funny and lively and he always encouraged other members to do their thing as well. he’s honestly so hilarious too which makes me sad because it makes me feel like we’d get along really well if i knew him personally ... man i just wanna be his bff. but yeah he’s really tall, like towering over the other members tall; even taller than jungwoo, who was surprisingly tall as well. maybe it’s just me because i’m really short. he also has a small face in real life, but at the same time his features are so expressive that you dont even realize it haha. but yeah he’s just a happy, talented, gentle giant.

jungwoo: if i could describe jungwoo in one word it would be cherub-like. he literally has the softest features ever and he moves so gracefully, he literally glowed on stage and it was kinda shocking really. he was also really tall omg, like i was expecting it anyways since i knew that he’s around 6ft, but like... he’s REALLY tall. he has the SOFTEST, most honey-like voice but he speaks with so much confidence, it’s so so so cute and made me so happy. he also has really fluffy hair, like even from my seat i could see how soft and light his hair was; every movement he made that night just made his hair whip around really easily, like even if it was bleached you really couldn’t tell because his hair didn’t look fried at all. all in all jungwoo was truly angel-like and very graceful.

taeil: oh man taeil is beautiful on screen and through pictures already but in person he glows 100x more. he has really, really pretty skin that made him shine under the spotlight and his jawline is REALLY sharp omg. he’s also really short (which i was expecting... probably still taller than me though) and has a big head hehe. he’s also one of the members that had a really calming, nurturing energy, during the ments he would literally have heart eyes full of pride when he’d look at the audience, it was really really heartwarming. a GOOD butt. also his vocals are so, so, sooo good and very stable - there was one point (i think it was back 2 u(?) i can’t remember anything from that night other than my videos) where he used his headvoice for the highnote and not falsetto and it floored me - i’m a classically trained vocalist so you bet i freaked out in the audience. but yeah, taeil is just really calming and nurturing and REALLY funny too :(

yuta: yuta honestly shocked me because although i knew that he’s baby from interviews and other clips, i was still somehow intimidated by him, but when i saw them live he really stomped on my intimidation. he literally has the most fresh, most positive, most genuinely kind energy i’ve literally ever felt :( he had the biggest smile throughout the night, every time i’d look at him he’d just be grinning from ear to ear. “healing smile” doesn’t even come close to describing how GOOD his smile is in real life. he’s also short, something i really wasn’t expecting, like a good 2nd or 3rd shortest - really really REALLY funny too and a REALLY good dancer, i got some of his freestyle dance on camera and every time i watch it, i’m floored bc he hits every beat on the spot. i made eye contact with him at one point and i remember feeling just so happy and at peace, like... he’s not intimidating at all... he’s just a happy boy :(

mark: ohh mark... i see mark as a childhood friend so when he came out on stage i literally felt tears spring in my eyes. i live in vancouver and saw them in vancouver so i feel like that kinda intensified it a bit more as well. he is SOOOOOO undeniably funny its crazy, throughout the night i’d just be laughing at things he’d say (that were intended to be humourous ofc). his head also really big omg it was kinda jarring, and taller than i expected. his stage presence is so good, everytime they’d perform my eyes would sometimes land on him, literally SO good. honestly, when i walked into that venue i was expecting him to cry which i feared for because when someone cries, then i cry, but he didn’t!! although after the concert ended, when they were saying their goodbyes, they left mark alone to say his own goodbyes and when he was doing so, his voice kinda cracked before he did this bow and his eyes were a little glossy and i got SO SCARED because i didn’t wanna cry rkdndkdndk but yeah :( im proud of mark and you can tell that he holds pride in what he does as well!

donghyuck: MAN... donghyuck literally has the most beautiful skin i’ve ever seen. i know i’ve said this before but he glows, like he literally glows, fullsun is an appropriate nickname for him. he emitted nothing else but cute, happy, mischeviohs energy during ments but once he started performing his vibe changed so drastically it was crazy - especially during wake up and baby don’t like it. there was one part during baby don’t like it when he pressed his forehead against taeil’s and when i tell you how much i lost it because i wasn’t expecting it... oh man. i also see donghyuck as a best friend; i was born a week before he was and our natal charts are exactly the same save for our moons, so seeing him rip it up on stage was so so soo good it made me so proud :( i made eye contact with him somewhere during summer 127?? I WAS SO HAPPY AFTER like it was refreshing omg i sound so silly but im telling the truth iddndkjd he’s also shockingly tall as well, around mark’s height, maybe even taller, and REALLY long legs. like a good 90% of his body was made of leg didjdjdjd but yeah donghyuck is just... he’s really the sun and he was meant to perform.

doyoung: i will start this off by saying; i left that venue as a doyoungzen. doyoung... whew... he also shocked me because through videos and pictures i was NEVER intimidated by him at all, i honestly genuinely always just saw him as cute baby but man oh man. you know when you just KNOW that someone’s rich by the way they hold themselves? that’s doyoung... he’s really regal-like and holds himself really gracefully, like a strict prince type. he intimidated me SO much that night (in the best way possible... sexy intimidation... dont worry) like his energy was just so... intense. i made eye contact with him a number of times and when i tell you how SMALL i felt just from meeting his eyes... my goodness. he has really broad shoulders and a tiny waist, also really tall, small-ish head. his features are REALLY sharp like it’s crazy, i really have no other way to explain it. he also has really pretty hands, nimble-looking fingers. he was really adorable during ments and at one point kept hopping which was so CUTE but even then... man. his energy is just really intense. i ended up making him one of my ults after i left the venue.

jaehyun: deep inhale... so. jaehyun. honestly its kinda silly because i can remember so many details from the other members but i feel like once it comes to jaehyun i’m at a loss of words because of how in SHOCK i was to see him up close bc as you all know he’s my ultimate bias, it was my three years with him a few weeks ago. but gosh... jaehyun... i really can’t see the whole “cold prince” image they give him bc he’s so chill and relaxed? ok wow a few memories are coming to mind now; he has a really big head, which i was expecting because i’ve seen people talk about how big his head is but yeah it’s big but it’s CUTE he’s just a little bobblehead :( i made so much eye contact with him that night too and god like. i got some of those moments on camera and you can see through the videos how i’d just FREEZE every time we jefkenfkd he’s just... really chill, really relaxed, let the other members do their thing, but at the same time really silly and had this aura of confidence which was really nice. a lil shorter than i expected omg but his skin was reeallllyyyy nice and he’s very pale irl omg. he waved at me and my friend at the end of the show and i also got it on video and like... every time i watch it its just so surreal cuz like ... 😭 LIKE WHAT NOW how am i supposed to live the rest of my life now knowing i reached my peak at neocity like .... bruh

all in all these boys are just so talented and have the best stage presence ever, and they’re super SUPER interactive with the fans. beingin the crowd during touch and replay was just so... nice :( it was truly one of the happiest moments in my life and i hope that they come back soon !!! i also hope that the next time i see them, winwin is part of 127 again as well :( and lastly, i also hope that whoever is reading this sees them in the future as well bc u deserve it!!!

#nct #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct reactions #nct 127 #neocity #taeyong #yuta #johnny #jaehyun #doyoung #taeil #mark #jungwoo #donghyuck #taeyong imagines #johnny imagines #jaehyun imagines #doyoung imagines #yuta imagines #taeil imagines #mark imagines #donghyuck imagines #jungwoo imagines #omg this started off so calm but ended so chaotic i just got rly excited im so sorry 😭 #heartau

[oikawa13]

love in the time of köttbullar

Shouyou sets the bowl on the tiny table with a flourish and an itadakimasu! and this is when it hits Atsumu harder than a Skurup to the temple:He wants this. Shouyou, hip cocked against the miniature kitchen countertop, smiling shyly up at Atsumu through the amber fan of his lashes, beautiful god-boy-man somehow glowing gold even under the buzzy LED lighting. Though they’re standing in a 430,000 square foot warehouse in Tsurumachi, Atsumu’s looking at Shouyou, and he’s home.

Amid the Flärdfull and the Smörboll, Miya Atsumu falls a little more in love.

words: 3,378 | rating: T

i’ve never been inside an ikea so this fic quite literally changed me as a person. sometimes loving a person is as scary as saying that first i love you!!!! and sometimes... love is easy as saying i love you at an ikea ; ;

LAUNCHING MERRILY DOWN THE PATH OF SIN (THE FIRST TIME)

"Bokuto said I should bring you home. But I don’t know where you live. So I took you here.”

“To hell?”

"No, Atsumu-san. To my apartment."

words: 1,990 | rating T

i wake up in the middle of the night thinking about this fic and then go on ao3 to reread it again its just so fdjgfhdjf good. i think about this shoyo a lot. theres something!!!! very dreamy going on here. this is the first part to a series btw, you can read them all if you want since theyre probably all around 1k :-)

lord i no longer believe in anything but the way he holds my name between his teeth

The miracle of the rabbit on the moon.

“We took this photo at their seventh birthday party. His father baked a cake. But someone ate all the jellybeans off the top before they could even sing the birthday song. That’s why Atsumu cried. He used to cry a lot. It stopped when the twins found out about volleyball, but before that Atsumu would cry over everything. Spilled milk. A skinned knee. The neighbor’s dog. He was the twin that was scared of paper straws. It's funny how things have changed.

“He looks happier now. Did you do that?”

words: 10,456 | rating: T

so, this goes just a liiiiitle past 10k so its up to you if you want to read it or not, i just thought i’d include it since its so! close! lol theres this part!!!!! they are holding hands underneath the table!!!!!!!!! atsumu are you drunk?!!! no!!!!! hes just so stupidly in love with shoyo. i cant stand them!!!!!!!!!!!

wait for it, wait for it

The notifications are up at 100+ again and Hana wants to check it quickly to make sure nothing's wrong, especially because she'd just cleared them before the media scrum. The fans, she figured, must be overjoyed with the win.Congratulations MSBY Nation!!! the first reply reads. #myspiker #atsuhinaBoth tags, she finds, are currently trending in Japan.

Five times #atsuhina trended on volleyball Twitter and one time it should have (but luckily didn't), as told by the MSBY Black Jackals' junior publicist

words: 6,043 | rating: T

this fic is SOOOOO much fun!!!!!! also i love hana, idk if i ever mentioned that before but yeah. this is like... hdjkdhgjfd so much ; ; <3

south of an early summer

Warmth, then, was being wanted back. Two weeks later, Atsumu holds that warmth in by Shouyou’s waist; he watches it, how it sleeps, and wonders what the heat will become next.

words: 2,602 | rating T | tw: atsumu being atsumu about (past) kg/hn for a split second

IF i wasnt an absolute fool and gave you all these recommendations to pick and choose from id just send you this and the walking emoji bc honestly!!!!!!!!! i may not know what the heck romantic means but i see this and maybe it is romantic! maybe its not the average romantic idk?!!!! but i do know theres something beautiful here. love ?? ; ;

truths in two’s

Shouyou leaves for Brazil in two hours.

words: 8,300 | rating: T

LDR.... but like, in probably one of the easiest 2 breathe/good feeling fic for ldr!!!! idk im a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ten reasons to break up with me: a love letter

1. It has to be you, ‘cause I won’t.

words: 4,197 | rating: T

pls....... i cant even THINK about this fic without crying okay!!!!!!!! insane. fuckign!!!! i love it so much, so much. it lives in my heart. this is the fic where i was like... i dont believe in love. yes i do. no<3 YES!!!!!!!! and cried and paced my room and finally FINALLY!!!!!! stopped feeling so hurt about hinata leaving for brazil again lmao!! like, i cant explain. this sounds crazy right???? anyway, i think... atsuhina can love each other so much it hurts when theyre apart but their love is so.... i mean......... they literally waited years to play together... so......... their love keeps them going..... GOODBYE!!!! i love listening to fka twigs cellophane & home with you and just..... being insane. 

just can’t help myself

Five times Hinata takes care of Atsumu, and one time Atsumu returns the favor.

words: 5,025 | rating: T

*think about atshn taking care of each other* *cries*

blue crush

And there’s a promise there, sewn into the easy curve of his lips: I’m not going anywhere, Atsumu-san. Glittering eyes that cut through the rain-blurry dark like a beacon when Shouyou turns back to look up at him. Even if you fuck up all of our dates.

Murphy’s Law as demonstrated by Miya Atsumu.

words: 2,297 | rating: T

atsumu trying very hard to have things perfect and romantic and even in the failures its still very lovely<3

If I’m Icarus, You Must be the Sun (Allow me Three Mistakes)

He wonders if Icarus felt like nothing was wrong with self-destructing, because he had reveled in the sun, if only for a little while.

Atsumu finds, loving Hinata is the same.

Atsumu's love over the years, and the mistakes that accompany it.

words: 4,620 | rating: T

i am...very weak to the whole icarus/sun thing with hinata and his ships. this one though......... i think about it A lot.

in your eyes, i see our future

“Yer’ a real sweetheart, Hinata Shouyou.”

Shouyou smiles brilliantly. “Only for you~”

He scoots over so Shouyou can sit next to him. He can smell the pineapple body wash Shouyou is so fond of the moment he sits down. Shouyou passes the tray over carefully before settling against the headboard comfortably.

“What’s the occasion?"

(Or, Atsumu just really wants to marry Shouyou.)

words: 9,769 | rating: T

fhdsjjkjfdsj goes crazy stupid over marriage!!!!! listen... i do not believe in marriage!!!!! but for atsuhina, oh you bet i do!!!! :-)

breathing a hello

There’s no significance to them ending up here except that both of their lives are held in the sway of volleyball. Everything else comes second.That’s the crux of it, really.

words: 2,826 | rating: T

gjhfsjkfd shhhhhhhhh. my heart is very soft when i think of them here, please..... just!!!! pls.

if you’re out there in the cold, i’ll cover you in moonlight

My [23M] best friend and ex-boyfriend [23M] is visiting me for a week, and my current boyfriend [24M] who agreed to all of this is suddenly withdrawing from me. Can I get some advice? Please? Anyone?

words: 8335 | rating: T | chapters: 3 | tw: past kg/hn 😳

this one is optional since you wanted one shots and theres 3 chapters here. my idea of romantic is...well, i especially love when one of them is acting hurtful/mean/difficult to the other bc their own personal issues but the other loves them anyway??? and then they work on that issue!!! just!!!!! ; ;

Love in the Time of Insomnia

And anyway Hinata was sprinting out faithfully after Atsumu, who had keys to the gym like a badass, and who was going to give his spikers a few more tosses after-hours without Meian knowing like the greatest, most generous badass the Jackals had ever seen. 

words: 2,457 | rating: G

running four kilometers just so atsumu can rest. this is what romantic means!!!! hdkshjfhdj

ode to what you’d have been

5 times it’s Kageyama’s fault and the 1 time Hinata realizes it has never been.

words: 3,628 | rating: G

loving someone including their flaws PART 2!!!!!! ok.... u might be like... um... this is romantic? hfdkhjfd LISTEN!!!! to me!!! there is nothing more romantic than being in love with someone and the ugly parts of them. going, i love you, all of you. and communication!!! and understanding!!! and feeling terrible and shitty and horrible but having the one you love accept you. and trying to help ease your mind, worries. *sobs real hard* also shout out 2 ‘okaaayy.... i hate sakusa now’

a shrine for a  boy

Despite his uncertainty about how to tell Atsumu of his move to São Paulo, Hinata takes action. Things do not go according to plan.

words: 2,447 | rating: G

hinatas time 2 be romantic and fail but its ok bc!!!!!!!!!! :-) they are just dummies in love<3

the greatest distance between you and longing is defeat

(In other words: Atsumu, let go. I’m here now.)

words: 3,310 | rating: G

um... *cries* post break up.... o_o!!!! god they really thought they could????? lmao!!!!!!

the tear in this (our gentle language)

“I’m going back to Brazil.”

He isn’t asking for permission. This isn’t a consultation. Hinata Shouyou informs his boyfriend at their after-practice practice. Miya Atsumu has a volleyball in each arm, trying to pick up a third. It drops and rolls away from him. The thud resounding in an empty gymnasium.

Shouyou had tried to envision Atsumu’s reaction many times. He never expected to be met with silence.

Alternatively: an exploration of Hinata Shouyou’s return to Brazil

words: 7,204 | rating: M

ldr CAN be romantic ok!!!!!!!! it takes a lot of communication, time, and love ; ;

evening sun

Atsumu looks at Shouyou and thinks, I want to know every inch of you.

words: 1,502 rating: M

[feykijung]

* greetings loved ones

HELLO first of all i am excited!

second of all, for proper introductions, i’m carly! chances are we’ve met somewhere before but if we haven’t i am so happy to meet you now, and to be here with everyone. i’ve been waiting for the queue to end out of Respect but now we out here!! back when i first heard about this rp i thought i wouldn’t join until summer but then i got bulldozed...absolutely pulverized... by kijung as a muse, and ended up being the first application in an rp for the first time in my life. crazy stuff!!!!! needless to say kijung is Alive and i am pumped to unleash him upon the world. believe it or not, after a week of having him submitted i still do not have a bio for him (400 years of history is a little daunting...why do that when i can make 200 gif icons instead amiright) but i do have a profile for him here! i’ll write more about stuff that isn’t on his profile under the cut!! love u everyone let’s have a lot of fun. also, i think i’m gonna send everyone “welcome messages” if i haven’t already (#queuedpost) so you don’t necessarily have to like this if you want to plot because i’ll TALK TO EVERYONE but u can like this to give me attention if u want ASDFSDGDG

OH YEAH, you can reach me on twitter @hyeongjunsang if you’d like to talk, but i think plotting over ims here will help me stay more organized so i’ll probably do that!! anyways

kijung is a 401 year old master vampire, but he was turned at 17. his ability is heat generation which means he’s like a baby furnace, and can melt stuff, and if he really wants to he might be able to give you a burn or two so don’t test him

speaking of testing him, don’t call him cute or he WILL fight, likely physically. it’s not just because he’s a brat but it’s because his sire turned him so he would stay cute forever, so every time he gets called cute serves as a reminder and stokes that 385 yr old rage he still carries around with him 

he was born in joseon era korea, he was the son of a kisaeng (think korean geisha), has (👀) a twin sister, and was generally looked down upon by his community because he was automatically lower status being the child of a kisaeng. his older sisters hated him but his dad was a good guy and raised him as he raised any of his other children (his mom died in childbirth)

he was turned during the manchu invasion; he was captured by a chinese soldier and [insert vague hand gestures and his application here] he was taken to the capital of the soon to be qing dynasty at the time, 

he was actually the head of his household and about to get married following his father’s death before he was turned

he was an absolute menace of a fledgling, who knows how many people he killed, it wasn’t even all him just having instincts to feed constantly but also part rebellion against his sire because he was so furious to be turned at all let alone under the circumstances he was

after about 25 years or so kijung yeeted away from his sire and fled to beijing where he wandered around for 100 years or so

his sire found him again in that time but [vague hand gestures again] and his sire died, details on that still pending, something something murder

@meixfey​ also found him after that!! and became his surrogate sire and mom, essentially. they are still together today after 300 years, and he eventually changed his last name to hers. she signs all of his permission slips and is his legal guardian as far as the human world knows 

they traveled a lot after they found each other. mei took him on a tour of where the silk road used to be, and we’re still finalizing everywhere they went, but they were definitely in venice italy for a time too

they went back to korea in 1900 shortly after the country opened back up to the outside world, just in time for japan’s occupation of korea and the korean war, of course!

he lost friends in the war; he lost a lot of people in general over his years and after the war he really distanced himself and didn’t make a single friend for 70 years until @feykyuhwan and then he was like u know what i’m tired of watching friends die so i’m turning you haha! and now he has a fledgling, very cool

i won’t get into his personality too much because that’s on his profile and i wrote like 5 paragraphs about it nobody needs that again

currently he’s a high school student and trying to get expelled because he’s been through high school Several times and is bored, plus “i’ve done everything else there is to do, i should get the full high school experience” including getting kicked out, apparently. he’s intentionally failing out of his classes and getting into fights on school grounds

he likes libraries and bookstores. he thinks that even though he’s been around for 400 years there’s still a lot for him to learn about things, and that’s one of the things that keeps him going as an immortal

that being said he thinks he’s always right. unfortunately he’s quite wise and perceptive so sometimes he is right smh

i could probably ramble about him forever but i’m sure between this and his profile there’s enough to work with!! and if not we’ll talk it out

thanks for reading this wrowowow

#` * ooc

[heanv]

Sunflower | Haechan

 genre: college!au,relationship

warning: the d word mentioned(?)

word count:2.1k

requested by: @ hyuckysunflower

song: sunflower by rex orange  country

Everybody meets their soulmates no matter when but eventually this happens. You had your luck to find yours in the second year of high school. You knew he was the one, you truly felt it.

/I want to know,Where I can go/

You knew Haechan since you were six or seven years old. He always somehow ended up playing with you on the playground and your houses are really close to each other you both were literally like siblings. You made your own courts pretending to be a kingdom where he was the king and you were his queen. He was the one who taught you how to ride your bike and the one who would buy you an ice popsicle in the hot summer days. You loved each other back then and you still loved each other but this love grew stronger with the years and eventually became a real love with a strong bond. You remember how nervous he was when he first asked you on a date and then your first shared kiss only a month later when he took you to the rooftop of his house and told you he loved you.

/So won't you stay for a moment,So I can say/

Now two years later ,happier than ever you guys are planning your future and everything seems perfect. You and him will attend the local university then after you both graduate you will spend a year of travelling around the world and when you came back he would propose to you and the little cozy wedding you both dreamt for will be held in the back of Haechan’s house since it was bigger than yours and after that you both will find jobs and a small family house  and eventually have kids and live happily,

/Cause right now you know that nothing here's new,And I'm obsessed with you/

But not everything may not happen the way you guys want it.

You were accepted in the local college and so was Haechan. Some days before the official day for applying the documents for the college ,Haechan received an interesting email. Since the local college wasn’t the only school you applied for ,knowing that you don’t really need something else you picked some schools near the town Haechan also but there was one school he secretly applied for thinking it was impossible to choose him because it was a college for music and art and beside the grades they wanted a photo of painting or a video of singing or playing an instrument. You knew how much your boyfriend loved singing and music but you didn’t  know much he wanted to study there but he didn’t mind giving up his dreams for you.

So when Haechan opened the email that said he was accepted in the music college he was on cloud nine.

‘’oh my god’’ he whispered to himself. He knew how hard is entering a school like this and he had to reread the email more than 5 times until he was sure that what he sees was right.

Then it hit him like a sharp slap from the reality. What about you? What about the perfect plan of yours for the future? Will you hate him if he decides to go into the music college? And the worst will you two break up? All of the questions popped into his head and didn’t leave him alone for the whole night.

/ Then I fell to the ground/

In the morning he already knew that he didn’t want to miss the opportunity to study in his dream college but the guiltiness was eating him alive. How was he supposed to tell you? So he decided to make the dumbest decision in his life- to start slowly avoiding you so you could forget him easily. It hurt him so much to ignore all of your calls and all of your messages you sent because you were confused what was going on.

/ I don't wanna see you cry,you don't have to feel this emptiness/

He hated himself so much and he didn’t leave his house for the following day and lived as if he was in a cave until his bestfriend Mark came on the morning of the third day. He knocked on Haechan’s door and after a minute of waiting the door was slightly opened enough for Haechan to see if it was his girlfriend.

‘’Man, whats going on?’Y/n is going crazy, why don’t you pick up her calls or answer her texts?’’

‘’I cant’’ said the other boy not having enough courage to look at his friend’s eyes.

‘’What? What happened,dude?’’  Mark sat next to him on the bed.

‘’I got accepted at the college of music and arts’’ Haechan mumbled,still not looking up.

‘’Oh my God, that’s fantastic! Congrats,man!’’ Mark hugged his friend with a big smile.

‘’Yeah it’s nice but the college is 5 hours away and me and y/n were supposed to study here. How am I supposed to tell her that we have to break up because of me ?”

‘’Whoa,whoa ,man,hold up. Who says that you guys should break up? You love each other so much its getting annoying and beside that y/n is good enough to understand you, you know this ,right?

‘’Do you think she would hate me?”

‘’No,no way, maybe she would be a little upset but its okay but I really think she would support you.’’

“you think so?” haechan finally decided to look up.

“ i know it,just talk to her,ok?”

“yeah,i must talk to her” he whispred to himself.

Haechan thought of a different ways to tell you and it took him one more day of ignorirng you. He felt even mote guilty but he just wanted to show you how much he wanted to study there.So in the end he texted you.

“Hi,love.Sorry for being a dick just got something really important i want to tell you about and i just really needed time to think about it and i can tell you everything if you come tonight at my place and once again im so sorry, i love you”

He knew that you were mad by the way you answered.

“ok”

at least you answered.

/'Cause I don't wanna feel like I'm not me/

Haechan felt really bad for ignoring you so he prepared something special.He made a picnic with candles on the floor on his balcony.When the doorbell rang he was trying to calm himself because the guilt was choking him.When he opened the door he was greeted by the cold look on your face making his pain twice bigger in the spur of the moment.

“Hey” was the only thing he could mummble in this uncorfomtable moment.

“Hi” you whispered feelingless although a little piece of insecurity could be seen in your eyes.

/Sunflower still grows at night/

You followed him to his room, the whole air filled with tense silence and when he closed the door of his room he stopped finally meeting your eyes now realising that are filled with a pure sadness.

“What happened,baby? You dont love me anymore?” you whispered silently but enough for him to hear and enough for his heart to break.You let your tears quietly fall on your face and when your boyfriend saw this he immediately embrased you in his arms.

“No,baby, how could you think about this? I love you too much, i’d rather die instead of leaving you” he whispered his hand gently playing with your hair and the other holding you even tighter.

/You know you need to get yourself to sleep,And dream a dream of you and I/

You sob for a minute more and then you look up to him.

“Then what’s the matter? What happened?” you stared in your boyfriend’s dark endless eyes as if you would find the answer in them.Still holding onto each other he takes your hand and leades you to the balcony. You gasp at the beautiful sight of what he has prepared for you.

“This is the least thing I could do for you after everything” he said as if he just read what you were thinking.

You both sat on the blanket on the floor ,feeling the warm wave of the candles as if it was hugging you.

“So i guess i will finally have to tell you”

/I promise I'm the one for you/

You nodded singlnaling him you are ready to listen carefully. “You know how much I love music,right? And you know how we are supposed to go to the local college but 3 days ago i received an email which said that...” he paused for a second and took a deep breath “ i am accepted in the college for art and music” he looked at you,taking another deep breath “the one i told you about some months ago”.

You just stared at him.No reaction,no word came out of you and he took this as a sign to continue.

“ i know how it sounds but this is college where is really hard to get in and when i applied was something like a back-up plan because i didnt think they would choose someone like me but it looks that they have” he chuckled to himself not daring to look at your eyes that was burning holes through him. “ y/n i know we had a plan and ruining it wasnt something i was looking forward to at all but i hope you can understand what a chance this is for me. i love you so much and the thought of having you 5 hours away from me kills every single part of me and i-“

“i love you haechan” you intereppted him.” i love you so much and i know how much music means for you and i cant tell how much proud i am from you because i do how hard is getting into a colleges like this one and-”

/Just let me hold you in these arms tonight/

its your turn to pause.

“ i wont mind if you go there and study” haechan looked at you with widened eyes ready to pop off their place “ i know its gonna be hard and i know that i will not be able to see you everytime i want to but i guess that this could be a challenge for us, like we live near each other, we went to the middle and highschool together and having you apart could only either make our relationship stronger or either we will end up breaking up” you both looked at each other seriously “i think that we are not kids anymore and we have to act like grown up people” your boyfriend nodded, staring at the empty wall probably dived in the mess in his head “ look i love you way too much and i know that you love me too so the thing is that i dont want us to break up just because we are scared of how the things will turn out” you pause reaching for haechan’s hand and hold it tightly and he responds to your touch in the same way.

/And so she sat me down and told me that I didn't have to cry/

“i cant believe how smart you are,y/n, you may be proud of me but right now im prouder of you and i feel that the connection between us is stronger than some 5 hours” you both smile warmly at each other still holding hands.

although you couldnt explain how much happy and proud of your boyfriend you were you felt a wave of sadness washing over you and it seemed that haechan saw that.

“baby, i know its gonna be hard and it probably wont be the perfect relationship but just think about all the trips we are going to have either you will come to see me or i will and in the dorm i will take as much as photos of you, of us i will take so everyone knows that im taken by the most beautiful and smart girl ever” he gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and you cuddled into him “and when i bring some of my new friends here ot when you come to see me im gonna show you off as if you are the only thing i possess”

/And then told me that she'll love me for as long as she's alive /

the huge blush on your face and the sparkles in your eyes gave haechan a sign that everything is going to be alright, that there will be you and him in the future and because the love you had for each other was stronger than the distance you were about to have between you and he knew that he is the lucky one to find you and he was gonna keep you,no matter what.

/Sunflower still grows at night/

masterlist 

#nct soft hours #nct dream #mark lee #jaehyun #nct soft edits #lee donghyuck #nct #na jaemin #lee jeno #nct 127 #donghyuck #haechan soft hours #nct haechan #haechan smut #haehcan imagine #haechan scenarios #nct scenario #nct smut #nct imagine #nct soft blurbs #kpop scenarios #NCTU #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenario

[ronancegayass]

Flower Asks: all of them >:3€ (forgive me)

(this is so many omg but I’ll allow it only bc i love u)

Alisons: Sexuality? 

     Gay af (ace lesbean)

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

     Waman (she/they)

Amaryllis: Birthday?

     November 2nd

Anemone: Favorite flower?

     Funnily enough anemones are one of my favs but i think my top favs are chrysanthemums and morning glories but I really love many flowers and flowers in general

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

     As of right now, stranger things duh

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

     Like favors or? I mean I really do try to be a kind and helpful person but if I don’t know somebody or haven’t at least seen them a couple times before I usually don’t do much bc of anxiety 

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

     "The extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are.” Lara Croft mostly bc I cant think of anything else right now and that stuck with me

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

     Like a really good cup of black tea with cream and sugar or sweet tea

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

     Never been kissed before but I definitely have someone in mind I would kiss ;3

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

     Hell yeah I am right now and I don’t think I ever have been before now

Baneberries: Favorite song?

     Oh hard question... currently really digging We Fell In Love in October by Girl in Red 

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

     My family is supportive (for the most part) and very loving, even if they express love in weird ways sometimes. We also like to joke around a lot and make fun of each other but in a good way? Like we all have a good time mostly and I get along better with everyone since I started college

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

     My girlfriend is my best friend uwu I also have a lot of good friends but yeah

Begonia: Favorite color?

     Purble but specifically like a pastel purple and purples that lean more towards blue than pink

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

     Lynx! I love so many animals tho and I also like many cats and domestic cats in general

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

     Night!

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

     Probably would love to just be a loved house cat who gets to lay in front of the fire all day or a lynx bc i love them

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

     A veterinarian (or a special agent lmao)! I also still plan on being a vet tho even tho I get discouraged at least once a month 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

     I mean I like kids and I was a camp counselor for a summer, but I dont really want any of my own

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

     Oh god so many things.. Biggest thing would maybe be death/dying? Like if i think about it too much like the possibility of there just being nothing after death freaks me out. That and throwing up/nausea 

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

     I played soccer and then I was a competitive swimmer so i was kind of an athlete? even tho i hated sports

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

     I think I would like to go to waffle house, have the perfect cup of tea, spend lots of time with my loved ones and pet my kitties, play video games with my gf, and sit under a tree in the mountains preferably on a warmer day in the fall and watch the sunset 

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

     Very happily taken

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

     Always wanted to visit Norway

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

      Really big long hugs, good morning or goodnight messages, and I also really love cards 

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

     I have 6 

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

     Yup! I have an industrial, orbital, and 3 earlobe piercings   

California Poppy: Height?  

     5′2 or maybe a little less

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

     Yeah I think so, but I do also get freaked out easily lmao

Carnation: What are you currently wearing? 

     Red flannel, jeans, fuzzy socks, and big dyke boots  

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

     Yeah I did for a long time and I still sometimes sleep with one or like a bathroom light on if Im sleeping by myself in a new place

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

     Either my mom or my dad I dont remember technically who was last bc my parents are visiting me at college

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

     Again, never kissed or been kissed! but maybe soon... :0

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

     Font? I like the font in Night in the Woods?

Columbine: Are you tired?

     Pretty much always either sleepy or tired lol

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

     Christmas, getting to see my gf again, and Magfest!

Coneflower: Dream job?

     Like a veterinarian but having my own practice and also being able to take in injured wildlife if possible

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

     Introvert for sure

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

     Oh repeat question, hell yes

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

     Depends what it is but I would go pretty far for somebody I care about and Im also a crazy person and would drive/travel no matter what distance for someone I love

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

     Yup! I had a ballerina bunny, named Bunny because I was very creative and I still have her

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

     Scorpio

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

     I think so? I did a lot of cool stuff with my GS troop like our bronze award project and going ziplining and to sliding rock. 

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

     My GS gold award for sure, that shit was hard work and stressful af

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

     Umm??? I would tell my dad to eat shit and die and I cant imagine my mom being anything but sweet and supportive so I dont even know

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

     You! This morning uwu

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

     uhh Im pretty good at making sense of stuff in my science labs and reasoning and im sometimes good at art? I feel like I do traditional better but Im getting better at digital

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

     bad at not being impulsive sometimes and bad at dead by daylight 

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

     a little over a month but officially got a girlfriend who i love very much, my gf came down to visit and we got to chill on the mountains together, and I had a pretty nice birthday 

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

     Good! Got breakfast at a diner with my parents and got coffee and a donut at my fav coffee shop so thats all i really need in life tbh 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

     Yeah Im happy even tho Im stressed with school at times 

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

     Get a job after graduation and hopefully get into vet school on the first or second try

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

     My kitty, mom, wonderful gf, sister, dead by daylight, heated blanket, apartment, waffle house, my sisters kitty, and my dog

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

     Donuts, coffee or tea, blankets, video games, and loud music

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

     Hmm... I really like to draw art for those i love, tell them how much i love them even though i can be bad with words, and i just try to spend a lot of time with the people I care about no matter what we are doing

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

     uhhh trying to open up more? and Im really proud of my gf 

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

     Going to waffle house. Go to a mountain and hike a little, sit on the top with girlfriend. Admire beauty of mountain countryside. Admire beauty of girlfriend while they admire the beauty of the mountain. Then warm up together with hot chocolate and play video games

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

     I like to doodle and do the arts, play video games, and I like to bake sometimes

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

     uuuuuuh I have a good friend I’ve known since kindergarten or first grade when I first moved to where I currently live

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

     My gf uwu and my mem

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

     probably like less than 10 

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

     I think its really cute especially when you compliment my laugh

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

     ??? I think I am an okay person? And I try to be a good person and be kind and polite to people

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

     Umm... I mean I like that Im kind? and Im not fake and I try to be a good person     

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

      I hate that I procrastinate and that I can get frustrated easily at myself and at situations like crowds and traffic

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

     I liked to play ‘restaurant’ with my sister with our littlest pet shops

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

     I had a really great best friend named Rachel :c

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

     Losing a lot of friends and for being distant for a long time 

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

     Cutting off a friend that was bad for my mental health and who didnt treat me well even though we were best friends for a long time 

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

     My name is literally my parents ship name... like they even told me they chose my name by putting their names together lmao but I mean I like my name so i guess its okay..

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

     Small town in new jersey when I was really, it was nice and family was closer. Then we moved and that was difficult but I ended up adjusting and it was good, had a decent amount of friends and the schools i went to were good

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

     For a long time I shared a room with my sister and we had a bunkbed and I had the top bunk of course, when we moved out of the apartment and into a house I got my own room and it was baby blue only because I told my dad that no, I didnt want a fuckin pink room and that was a whole thing lmao

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

    It was good? but also sucked a lot. I had a lot of issues with my mental health and struggled for a long while with something. I was bullied and stuff at home wasnt always that great. And i got outed so that was fun. Other than that I enjoyed swimming competitively and I got into art

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

I love my mom!! she is the most Mom mom and is so sweet and always there for me. She helps me out so much with so many things and I just love my mom so much

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

     I mean I love my dad? And hes better than he used to be, but he still doesnt help with shit and irritates me a lot. 

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

     I never got to know my grandfather on my moms side bc he passed away a few months before i was born and I sort of knew my grandmother but she lived far away and passed away 10 years ago. I usually see my gramma on my dads side the most and I try to visit often and help her out with stuff and I love her even though she can be a bit... racist and shit.. and I sometimes see my grandpa and step grandma but they can be strict about weird shit and always ask a lot of uncomfortable questions

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

     I dont really do much on my birthdays? Ive had a lot of nice birthdays and it usually involves going out to dinner or having a nice dinner at home and having birthday cake and playing games like jenga or yahtzee.

Peony: What was your first job?

     I did some petsitting for a while but my first real job was being a camp counselor/tower belayer/lifeguard at a girl scout camp

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)?

     Met online after following them for a long time and drawing some arts for them, but didnt really start chatting until stranger things 3 came out bc I saw they had just watched it. Didnt meet irl until fursonacon and I just remember seeing them walking up to my car when I got there and just being like .... oh no.  I had already had a crush but at that point I was just heart eyes      

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

     Its a little fucked up but depending on the type of physical pain I like it? Like getting tattoos and stuff.. emotional/mental I just curl up in blankets and listen to sad music lol

Pink: Where is home?

    I feel like I have many homes? I feel really at home in the mountains, at home with my family, and when Im with my girlfriend

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

     Every event no matter how shitty shaped me into who i am today and Im pretty content and lucky with what I have today so maybe nothing?

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

     My GS leader Miss Kristin. So incredibly kind and outgoing and just willing to do whatever she can to help others. Shes so adventurous and outgoing and made my gs troop so amazing. She is such a wonderful lady and shes basically like another mom to me.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

     To be with my SO in a nice cabin in the mountains with a nice fireplace. Its cozy and we have pets (especially kitties but also maybe a dog and chickens and such) and life is okay and we’re happy

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

     God and Santa Claus (i was so heartbroken (over santa not God lmao))

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

     My girlfriend and my mom

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

    My gfs voice and their laugh c: and I also really like the sound of thunderstorms and rain

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

     To see my gf again and for winter break to just be here already I am so done with school lol

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

     Difficult? I try really hard to express how I feel but I usually mess up and I get anxious but I try my best lol

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

     Any of my loved ones and my cat 

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

     I wish I got more sleep but it was an okay amount

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

     Good morning texts from my gf and my gf in general

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

      I dont currently have a job but I occasionally do art commissions which is usually fun and gives me something to do 

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

     Any of my flannels and my leather jacket (also not mine but my gfs hoodie they gave to me to borrow)

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic. 

     mountains, cabins, flowers, fall, flannel, small coffee shops, pastels 

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

     Im not one to be picky about gifts? I just love anything that someone put some thought into and thought I would like or reminded them of me but i feel bad if it was something expensive or anything lol

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

     Final exams and graduation

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

     0 lmao I used to read a shit ton but Ive been picky about what books I want to read lately 

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

    Working towards applying to vet school and maybe thinking about moving out depending on a lot of things.

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

     Unfortunately

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

     I like collecting pins, pennies, and postcards which is funny to me

(So in conclusion,,, I love my gf)

(wow that was long as hell and took forever but done!)

#long post #ask #sapphicfinalpam

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x19 Commentary

Zeta and Giuls scream together and then die.

@purpleskiesandcherrypies and @dean-winchesters-bacon won’t be joining us for this one.

I & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.

+MASTERLIST of season 14 commentary *

Zee: We fight

Zee: Not again

Giulia: Aaaah

Giulia: Not again

Giulia: Oh finally the empty again?

Zee: Yeah. Hurt again

Giulia: Who are all these people

Zee: What are they doing ??

D: You know, we lost our mom once before. But we got a second chance with her.

Giulia: Oh come on

Giulia: A service memorial?!

D: She couldn't cook worth a damn

Giulia: We’ve been knew

Zee: Is this a memorial?

Giulia: Really

Giulia: Who are these people

Giulia: So many extras

D: Mom, you weren't here long enough. But we're, uh... we're so glad for the time that we had.

Zee: From the other world

Giulia: Aw stop those fucking eyes

Zee: A memorial with beer. I’m there

Giulia: Oh sam bb

Zee: Sam

Zee: Control your face

Giulia: Ok But I don’t give a fuck

Zee: What now?

Giulia: Oh What

Zee: Bobbyyyyy

Giulia: Ok but that bitch was smiling weirdly

Giulia: See

C: A Hunter's memorial, complete with monster. Mary would have appreciated that.

B: Now that you mention it, yeah.

Giulia: Oh he warmed up to cas

Giulia: The other one

S: Yeah, Dean... seems to be doing okay.

Zee: Seems to be doing ok

Giulia: Oh baby cass baby. 

B: Yeah. Maybe he's like me. Bein' teary in public's not my style.

S: hang out, talk about Mom

D: "Talk about Mom"? [ Chuckles ] Yeah. Isn't that what we've been doing?

Zee: Yeah Dean.

Giulia: Oh he not okay

Zee: Keep pushing it down

B: You know, at one time, you boys were good-lookin'.

Zee: I love Bobby

Giulia: And cas is awkward

C: You need anything?

D: Yeah, I need a drink. [ Chuckles ]

Giulia: Shit Dean, don’t we all tho

Giulia: Not this bobby I don’t like

B: What? That kid -- he killed Mary!

Giulia: I kNoW ThaT

B: An unstoppable monster who doesn't know right from wrong gets put down or the closest we can get to it. And anybody who doesn't know that needs to go back to school.

Giulia: The closer that they can get To it. Meaning the fucking box

Zee: I think I love this Bobby too.

Giulia: I don’t really. But mostly I don t care for it

Giulia: Awe poor jack Oh fuck off nick

L: Only they -- they never loved you. You're nothing to them. just a little pet monster.

Zee: Oh for the love of Satan Over and over. Shut the fuck up

Giulia: They really playing on this satan on your shoulder stuff

Zee: Can I have this car?

Giulia: Ahahah of course Of course he’s there *choking* Oh god

Zee: Oh fuck

Giulia: Don t

Giulia: NO

Giulia: WHAT THE FUCK

Giulia: NO

Giulia: HE IS NOT OK

Dumah: *high pitch* Castiel. What a pleasant surprise.

Giulia: that’s not Dumah

Giulia: Or maybe she is

Zee: I think she is. But one can never be sure here

Giulia: Oh I love her. But she feels weird

Dumah: Oh, I'm not my first choice, either, but here we are.

Zee: Sneering much?

Zee: Can Cas stop with his eyes?

Giulia: No he s beautiful

Giulia: He doesn’t wanna talk about heeeer

Dumah: So he lost his capacity for good through an act of goodness.

Giulia: Awe he feels powerless

Giulia: ...Mmm

S: We know that Mom's not sitting on a cloud playing a harp. She's in a good place Or she's in a great place. She's with Dad.

D: You know what else? There wasn't enough left of her to even try to bring her back.

Zee: Fuck Dean and his face and everything

Zee: This is wrong

Giulia: I don’t like this

Zee: Yep. Wrong

Giulia: Oooh she wants him up there...oooh NOPE Don t

Dumah: Look at the world around you, Jack. You know, there was a time when Earth had moral order. When God would punish those who did wrong and who didn't respect Heaven. But when he left, it all fell apart. You could change that.

Zee: Don’t fall for it

Giulia: Yikes

Giulia: Oh no Dumah is not that great I DON T LIKE THIS

Giulia: Well she’s not wrong

Giulia: JACK

C: I was promised every effort would be made to, uh, locate Jack.

D: Oh. Heaven promised? Great. Well, we should take that to the bank.

Zee: Cas almost can’t look at Dean

Giulia: Oooh Cas speaking the biblical words ....is it wrong that I find it hot? it is right? ....shit

D: So either Chuck came back, which   [Chuckles] That ain't gonna happen, or...

me re-reading this on the 24th of May : YIKES

Giulia: I hate it

Zee: Damn He’s a kid damn him

Giulia: Ooh OH ok but that’s not that bad tho

me still re reading this after the season finale : DOUBLE YIKES

Zee: Yet

Giulia: Oh Jack is. Really

Giulia: Oh poor babe That s not a smart choice

Giulia: She gonna die

Zee: True

Giulia: I don t like this

Zee: He has to count this in the end

Giulia: Oh no Not a dream Oh jack

Zee: I was just taking your friends

Giulia: Ugh

Zee: They gone

Giulia: NO JACK

Giulia: ew

Giulia: Fucking eww

Zee: Sweet lord

Giulia: Well he not ded

Zee: Ding ding ding

Zee: The box

Giulia: Ah ah Told ya. We ve been knew

Giulia: Dean Deeean

Zee: We know that

Giulia: Oh dean Of course

Zee: Me?

Giulia: Ya he will We saw that I hated it

Giulia: Oh u fucking bitches.

Giulia:  Oh and just like that..? They angels?

Giulia: The fuck

Zee: He does believe he’s doing the right thing tho

Dumah: CASTIEL! good news

Giulia: The high pitch

Zee: Higher that appropriate

J: Cass! Look! I'm making angels.

Giulia: OH MY SWEET BABY

C: Dumah. A word?

Giulia: NOW

Giulia: fan herself

Zee: Knew it

Zee: He can hear this

Giulia: Hate this

C: You're establishing a reign of terror, beating humans into submission, stripping Heaven of its mercy.

Dumah: Oh, Heaven never really had any mercy, Castiel.

Giulia: We know that

Giulia: Oh come on I liked her

Zee: Past tense

Giulia: Well she kinda gives off crazy vibes

Zee: Oh Sam’s good

Giulia: U really want this fight

Zee: Are u ok?

Giulia: I am not

Giulia: Oh cas

Zee: Buh Bye

Giulia: Oh bb . Can’t never get over Cas’ expression when he has to kill his own kind ok.

Zee: Dean needs to shut his face

Me listening to Jack saying all the right thing in such a wrong fucking way, and Dean’s anger bubbling up ...lol....I’m in danger.

Giulia: He really does, Dean blink, please

Zee: Sam too

Zee: He’s not gonna

Giulia: Oh jack

Giulia: Shut up

Giulia: Oh the lieees

Zee: Dean’s scary rn

Giulia: He fucking is Lol he looks like micheal

Zee: Yes!

Giulia: “Accident”

Zee: Damn

Giulia: Sam your face is a lie

Zee: Oh jack

Giulia: Jack babe. I’m hurting

Zee: Can’t

Giulia: Sam your face

Giulia: Sam is snappin

Giulia: Oh jack. Poor (almost) innocent

Zee: Holy fucking hell

Giulia: HATE THIS

Giulia: NO

Giulia: NOOO

Zee: Poor kid

Giulia: THIS IS SO BAD

Giulia: FUCK THIS

Zee: Long shots are kinda our thing

Giulia: OJ NOPNDOANSP

Giulia: DNAKSH

C: Dumah was manipulating Jack into doing those things She told him it would please you.

S: Cass, he's here.

Giulia: NO

Zee: Poor innocent summer child

D: He's in the Ma'lak box.

C: No!

Giulia: OH THANK. THIS IS GOING WORSE AND WORSE

D: And that's where he's gonna stay.

C: No. You're doing what Dumah -- You are manipulating him.

Giulia: CAS NOT WRONG

Giulia: AND WORSE

C: What? You just want to forget about him?

Giulia: WTF

D: I wish I could forget about him! After what he did?

Giulia: WTF

Zee: He’s gonna break it

Giulia: SCARED

Giulia: IM

Giulia: ...OH GREAT

Zee: Yep

Giulia: OH THAT S SCARY

Giulia&Zee: OH GREAT

Giulia: supernatural: how a bunch of poor choices get us through life

Zee: Motto

[PROMO]

Giulia: Can I die

Zee: No.

Giulia: But I wanna

Zee: There

Is

Next

Week

Giulia: Was that castiel losing his shit? Because i’m here for that

Giulia:  I wanted him ded

Giulia: Thanks dean

Zee: Well he can’t be blamed. And he’s honest

Giulia: Nope i blame him. I know you hang from his lips ( and other) but he’s wrong

Zee: Shut it.

Giulia: Rational part zee, you know he wrong, they both are .

Giulia: They fucked up

Zee: I mean, they all knew what they were getting into. They just didn’t know how bad it would get

Giulia: The box zee, It was a real bad fucking idea

Zee: Yeah ok. U ain’t wrong there

Giulia: And dean shouldn’t have decided . Especially since we saw how fucking broken he is

Zee: Yeah, but he’s one that has been making the decisions. Since day one. It’s how they made him

Giulia: Well this season he wasn’t,  Sam was in charge And dean was glad of it

Zee: Maybe. Look. I know that locking him in the box was all kinds of wrong. But that was I guess their last resort

Giulia: Lol they could have just fucking talked. Dean was still angry and mourning so that was not an option he was open to.  Because he wanted to jump the kid The moment he saw him back at the bunker.  So yeah...they took the easy way. Jack is like a boat waiting to be steered And now they just gave it to the storm, with a drunk captain ( hallucifer )

Zee: Let’s not forget that Dean was the one who had actually lived and remembered his mother as a kid. Getting her back no matter how crappy she was, was a gift for him. And losing her? Twice?

Giulia: Sure. And? Does that make it right? Nope

Zee: No. It makes it a bit easier to understand

Giulia: It doesn’t Because they are not kids anymore And they know better. I’m blaming the writers here zee, I wouldn’t have make dean act like that

Zee: I know.

Giulia: I mean….earlier seasons? probably, but now? nope I was under the impression they grew.

Zee: What would you have made him do?

Giulia: I don’t know right now, but honestly?  what doesn’t happen in supernatural is people talking to each other

Zee: True.

Giulia: That can’t happen so what’s left?

Zee: Shove the kid in the box

Zee: I can’t wait for next week. NOT!!!

Giulia: Ugh I'm so angry, I’ve been angry since last week ep, And now I’m angrier

Zee: U think there could be another reason they’re making Dean such a “dick”?

Giulia: You can take those “” away. I don t know And I don’t care. We’ll see at the finale

Zee: That we’ll do. U better calm down a bit

Giulia: I’m actually calm. Just Yeah well ...saw that coming

Zee: Almost everyone knew what this ep was about. From the title and shit. Not many believed he’d get out

Giulia: Well I wasn’t ready for it being dean’s stupid fucking idea With some lies and deceptions on top And jack trusting them so candidly

Zee: Jack trusted everybody bb He a kid

Giulia: He knew what that box was, and he still Nope

Giulia: Just Sam face when he listened to them? Nope

Zee: Let’s hope there’s a point to this pain.

Giulia: Ugh that ep left me bitter af

Giulia: That’s how much I disliked these last two ep ☹

Zee: I was waiting for you To express your bitterness

Giulia: Oh you don’t want to open that box trust me, I don’t

Zee: Wait till the end. I think it’s gonna be so much worse If it will make you feel better. Hit me

Giulia: I’m just kinda....that’s not them...idk I feel there’s something wrong, idk I’m disliking how they got written. J2M did an amazing job, as usual, don’t get me wrong, terrific acting, but idk...dean, sam, and cas felt so alien recently idk

Giulia: 3 idk

Zee: I know what you mean. And yes

Giulia: They feel weird And real fucking far away from what I knew of them

Zee: Do you think they’re just fading a bit?

Giulia: Yep Like...washed out But it’s really the writing Because gestures, mannerisms are still there

Zee: Maybe we’re emotionally and psychologically being prepared for the end

Giulia: It’s just what comes out of their mouth and the screenplay Yeah...but still

Zee: It’s disappointing u mean

Giulia: I’m not enjoying this

Zee: I know u aren’t. And when it’s done it won’t be pretty. But maybe it will be for the best after all

Giulia: And this is why I’m glad they decided to stop, I hope season 15 gets back on track and all comes down to an epic end because this season could have been so much more, and I feel they just lost something there

Zee: I think they owe us an epic end The writers I mean

Giulia: Yeah yeah I’m talking about the writers. The actors have little to do, we know it. Jensen said it that they can do little to change what the writers did

Giulia: I’m curious to know if they would have done the same things this season

Zee: Who knows. Maybe they should let the actors write the end

Giulia: Well they said that in season 15 Jensen and Jared were going to get consulted and be part of the screenwriting So ...finger crossed

Zee: They should be. I mean, yeah they’re “vessels” but they are the ones that bring the words to life. Let’s not worry about next season. We still have the “joy” that’s gonna be the last ep of this one

Giulia: I’m so gonna rewrite this season in act 3

.

24th of May note: Ok y’all don’t come at me with pitchforks and shit, this was written right after the promo for the finale ok. We still didn’t know shit. So yeah, just take it as it is.

.

.

.

.

@wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie     @mariekoukie6661     @dragontamerm      @closetspngirl   @rainflowermoon    @mattiecat   @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee2   @jacks-word-of-the-day     @4evamc       @dammitsammy     @legendary-destiel   @winchesterprincessbride    @destielhoneybee    @castiellover20   @jacks-word-of-the-day  @ravenhg @evvvissticante  @legendary-destiel  @dustythewind

#14x19 commentary #spn commentary

[tumblunni]

Okay the BIG TODAY THING

It seems i might possibly be gone for six months

I've been talking with my support worker about taking a course at this place thats uhh apparantly gonna help me get better with the depressions and stuff. And we had a meeting to go look around the place and make introductions and stuff but i had NO IDEA it would be all such short notice! I might have to move in IN TWO DAYS FROM NOW, what the fuck!!! And like if its not that its gonna be at the end of the week or next tuesday at the latest. Im so fuckin unprepared and im really freakin out!!

..uhh...how to describe it..well i guess its literally a mental asylum? But it's absolutely NOTHING like the horror movie stereotype! Its not a hospital with cages or locked rooms, its just like a big comfy cute shared house. Like a bunch of completely normal small apartment rooms but they just happen to be all connected to a shared kitchen and stuff and have on site nurses and a big schedule of therapy sessions and group activities like pottery class or bowling. You have the freedom to come and go as you please if you're on "voluntarily admitted" status (that's me!) and even if you're on what they call "sectioned" its still not scary loss of all your freedom. The highest level of sectioning is just like "requires an escort"? You're still allowed to go outside but you have a higher level of supervision from your key worker because you could potentially be a danger to yourself. But that's very rare and most people are only on maximum sectioning for a few weeks at the start of their treatment, if they've come straight from a situation of self harm or other concern factors. Most of the "sectioned" patients just have a time limit on how long they can spend on unsupervised outside activity. It's a pretty generous 8 hours apparantly!

So yeah i was getting worried about nothing, thinking i was gonna be in big scary solitary confinement and locked inside a tiny broom closet or jabbed with brain lazers. It honestly just seems like a summer camp resort for adults! And everyone there seems very nice, and im excited for being able to learn life skills like cooking and potential steps towards getting educational qualifications someday. And to have the help of a more specialist support worker who can assist me with even the smallest little problems. Like this nice lady Tazmin (who might be the one i get?) was saying how they've had other people with social anxiety before, and how we could plan "gradual exposure" to all the things that scare me. Like she said she'd be able to come with me and we'd take the bus and them get off at the next stop. That'd honestly be really helpful to help me get over being scared of the crowded spaces on buses, but i'd never be able to do it normally cos i'd be too embarassed taking such a short bus ride. Plus well itd be a waste of money,but if i'm a patient here i would get a free bus pass so it wouldnt be a problem.

Oh and the area seems really nice! Its so different from my stupid house right now in a crowded neighbourhood with NOTHING but houses everywhere for a mile! Its seriously almost a mile's walk to the ONE SINGULAR SHOP IN THE AREA and they close on sundays and dont sell vegetarian food. :( This area around the shared house thingie is a really nice bustling shops place but not super shops? Like i mean its a lovely village that has all the small shops you need, not a huge skyscrapers busy tourist place. The perfect balance of conveinient and not scary! They have a library and a park so close to the place, and a bazillion charity shops holy FUCK im so excited to have charity shops again!! I think you call them thrift shops in america? But i just always really love bargain hunting and finding nice surprises in places like that! And there's places to do pottery classes and group trips sometimes to do stuff like cinema or bowling or just having your big ol scary therapy meeting at the nice coffee shop at the end ot the road.

So yeah dont worry about me guys, im not trapped in some horribke hell place! I'm sure it'll be as non threatening as an Intensive Therapy Boot Camp can possibly be, im just still nervous as hell cos well yeah I Have Social Anxiety And That Is Why I Am Here In The First Place. Im scared im not gonna be able to succeed at this. I really wanna leave at the end and be all mentally buffed up and ready to make all these nice nurses proud!

Oh and man Richard has been so nice about this?? He was super freaked out and apologetic about it being Scary Short Notice, we had a bit of a dumb misunderstanding where he clearly told me and i clearly said yes but i somehow completely misunderstood what he was saying and thought i was saying yes to something else??? So im so fuckin glad that at the very end of the appointment right when i was gonna get out the car he was like 'oh so remember your suitcase on wednesday' and i was like WHAT. Like man can you imagine how much more terrifying it would have been if i just turned up on wednesday with no supplies but the shirt off my back and was like 'wtf where is he driving me OH GOD NO'. Bunni why you so bad at the good of talking!! Seriously richard thanks so much for clearing it up but also AAAAA i accidentally agreed to the shortest of short notice and i dont know if he's gonna be able to reschedule it!!!

And man i was there crying in his car about how i dont wanna be in hospital on my birthday, and babbling all the different things i had planned fot the next few months. And GOD DAMN MY DUMB BRAIN i ended up blurting out that i had a preorder of a videogame that i was gonna miss. And i straight up started explaining pokemon to my mental health counseller who is also a dj, how damn fake does my life sound?? Anyway he said that i'll still be able to keep him as my support worker when i get back out of this, and we'll still have weekly or monthly meetings while i'm in there. And he keeps reminding me that i'm free to leave if i feel uncomfortable, but i know that i'd feel like a failure if i did! So he legit fuckin goddamn said (THIS SOUNDS SO FAKE) that i could take a day off when the dumb game comes out, and he'd play co op pokemon with me. HOLY GEEZUS RICHARD YOU'RE LIKE THAT HOLY GRAIL OF THERAPISTS! And man he even said it wasnt embarassing for me to sleep with a teddy bear and he'd help me pack it up safe and ensure nobody saw it while we move my bags into my new room. And then i was like "uhh but also the teddy bear is a giant lifesize embarassing pokemon merchandise" and he was like "okay so we need DOUBLE STEALTH". Apparantly the new sequel to Pokemon Go is Pokemon Sneak! God he helped calm me down from this freakout so much, he's always great with lil jokes and motivational sayings. And i talked about how i first started being interested in Obscure Deep Sea Slug Facts because pokemon has some characters based on weird real life animals, and like its Very Educational Honest, And Has Appeal For Both Kids And Adults. How on earth did this turn into Motovational Pokemon Blabber Time??? Anyway thats how i ended up texting a professional psychologist pictures of gastrodon at 7.30pm.

SO

Yeah

In summary

I'm mostly just worried cos this is short notice! And cos its such a big commitment that being short notice is Super Bad. I need to friggin clean the whole house top to bottom in two days, so it doesnt get all gross and attract flies while im gone. And i need to toss out like a hundred bucks worth of frozen food that aint gonna keep for 6 months. And i need to wash all my damn clothes. And i dont even have a suitcase and this is at a terrible time where i dont get paid for a week so i cant buy a new one right now!! And damn i DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO TAKE AAAAAA

And the BIGGEST PROBLEM

Is that i wont be able to talk to you guys for half a year!!!

They dont have wifi and im not allowed to take my computer anyway. They only allow laptops and all i have is a desktop and AAAA its too short notice to save up enough to get a laptop mannnnn! Fuck man i didnt even think about that, i need to go pause my broadband internet for six months, do they even allow you to come back after that long?? And man part of me wants to ask to borrow money from friends to get a laptop but i know this time i cant promise to pay you back within the month cos AAAGH ALL OF THIS SHIT!! Like damn man if anyone is willing to let me pay back a hundred and fifty quid in 6 months??not bloody likely!! And man the only place to get a laptop in TWO GODDAMN DAYS is stupid fuckin Amazon :( but god im gonna go stir crazy being unable to do art or gamemaking or friggin anything to occupy myself!! I can bring my 3ds but i barely have any games for it and ive already finished all of them except harvest moon a new beginning which i quit cos it was bad. And the screen is broken anyway gahhh. SO MANY THINGS I NEED MONEY FOR IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME THAT IS NON CONDUCTIVE TO MONEYING

So anyway GAHH i wont have an internet connection in the house, and i'll be able to walk down the hill and use the library computers hopefully at least weekly, but they forbid all social media sites. So like can i get the emails of everyone who wants to keep in contact? Man i dont know how im gonna manage this AAAAA!!! i will send u loads of pics of scenic asylum beauty and dumb updates on my stupid life of probably very little progress.

And AGGGHHH i dont even have the time to plan a blog queue or anything fuck man geez aaaaaaaa

I NEED TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF TROUSERS WITHOUT HOLES IN THE KNEES man i cant live on singular pantage in a shared house

#bunni is gone #alas #mourn they #soon to be departed from the web

[minyoonsh]

aqua; part 1

your life in the city couldn’t be compared to how the breeze on the beach felt as it ran through your hair. how the sand felt between your toes. and last but not least how your heart fluttered at the sight of jimin, park jimin.

soulmate au! | jimin x reader

“dinner!” your mom shouted from downstairs as you were watching a funny clip of some vine compilations on youtube. today was the first day of your summer vacation, and you had spent it staying inside surfing on the internet. you wondered how you ended up there, but thinking about it, it made sense. your friends were all away on their luxurious vacations to bora bora and wherever. the only one that was actually home was jackson wang, but you were too shy to call him. you had always thought you had some kind of crush on him, you had known him since forever. but he never made a move on you so you just thought he wasn’t interested.

“kay, im coming!” you answered as you stood up and stretched a bit, and you heard you bones crack in a satisfying way before heading downstairs.

“what’s for dinner?” you asked while helping your mom put plates on the table. “didn’t you smell it from upstairs?” she asked back, you just shook your head and she tilted her head before speaking again. “were you watching those weird vine compilations again? i swear you’re so weird” she said, smiling to herself as she put food on your plate before her own. “c’mon mom, i know you watch them aswell. don’t try to fool me. i see everything” you said, chuckling shortly after. “isn’t that my line?” she laughed, narrowing her eyes at you. “sure”

you and your mom had the best time together, always laughing and smiling. your dad was working a lot, even though when he came home he was pretty tired. but always managed to have a smile on his face, forced or not.

“oh, you remember hoseok, right honey?” she suddenly spoke. and you tried to remember the name hoseok. it suddenly plinged in your head, you smiled widely. hoseok was the boy you had met on vacation very many years ago. ever since he had met you. he had been helping your grandma with stuff around the house. and that was because when you were there, you stayed at her house. but for the last couple of years you had other traveling plans, so you didn’t have the time or you wanted to enjoy the vacation at home. “of course i do, he’s my childhood broski, my dude, my guy.” you said as you recalled, you had met during your ‘i hate boys’ period. but you made an exception, for him.

you mom rolled her eyes before speaking. “anyway, i thought since you really don’t have shit to do around here except watching vine compilations. you could go stay with your grandma for the rest of the summer”

you had thought about it, going down there and help her. reconnect with each other, and you could hangout with hoseok and his friends. his number was saved in your phone and he texted you sometimes and you texted him sometimes. just to catch up. but that wasn’t that often. “yeah, but i need money to do that shit. i need a train ticket” you told your mom. it wasn’t that your family was struggling, it wasn’t like that at all. it was just that ever since you turned eighteen, apparently you needed to pay for everything yourself because ‘it’s training, for the future honey’ your mom had said repeatedly if you asked her about it.

“now here is the best part. your grandma, who hoseok is close to. told me that one of hoseok‘s co-workers has just quit. that means that they are hiring. so i’ll pay for your ticket down there. and then, you can pay me back with the money you make there” she said, clapping like a seal. you looked at her, contemplating whether or not you wanted to. of course you wanted to visit hoseok and your grandma. but working the whole summer to pay your mom back. but on the other side again. you did want to meet your grandma again.

“okay, can you send me the link to their website?” you asked, putting your dishes in the sink.

“okay! i’ll go tell your grandma!”

“have you texted him yet?” your mom asked as you stood outside of the train station, saying goodbye to your mom. a suitcase in your hand, and a bag over your shoulder. “yeah, he’s gonna be there when the train stops” you answered, smiling at your mom. this was probably the longest your have ever been away from her. you were gonna miss her, but you had your grandma. “i’ll miss you darling, meet some new people, have fun okay?” she said and pulled you into a tight hug. “i’ll try, now don’t stay up too late watching those vine compilations. is not good for you” you said jokingly, and she kept smiling but rolled her eyes. “and maybe you will meet jisoo again? that would be nice!” she said, but your smile immediately dropped, but you tried to hide hoe uncomfortable you suddenly became at the mention of her name.

“sure mom- oh! i need to go now! or else my train will go without me. mom i love you! bye!” you said, half running half walking. she smiled and waved at you. and you took that as a sign to turn around and focus on where you were going.

your mom had bought the tickets online, so you could just show them ona app on your phone. “technology, am i rite?” you said to yourself quietly. hoping that no one heard you. “geez, i need to stop talking to myself”

you walked down to where the trains arrived and your train hat arrived when you came. good luck huh? you got on the train and sat down in the quiet zone and put in your headphones listening to monsta x, wondering if kihyun would ever notice you. you were for sure going to one of their concerts. that you had your mind set on. lightly nodding your head and bumping your foot against the floor, it didn’t take long time until you fell asleep. you didn’t really do much today except from packing. but you still managed to be exhausted, you guessed most mentally. it was a week since you applied to the job and got it the next day. hoseok our in a good word for you, you were thankful.

soon enough the train had arrived and you had just woken up from a nap dreaming about all kinds of crazy stuff. the beach, a pair of eyes, they were a male’s eyes, a shock kinda thing going through your body. but you assumed it was just another dream.

you stepped off of the train, you legs felt a bit wobbly as you walked to one of the benches. people probably assumed you had great sex last night. which you indeed didn’t.

as you walked out of the train station you looked around for a red, worn down car, with a weird guy called hoseok sitting inside of it. after 10 minutes of waiting you texted him.

yo, where you at bro? 2:35

right behind u bro🐑 2:36

you turned around and saw the goofy hoseok standing there with his phone in his hand. he looked so grown up. it had been a long time since you saw him. last time you facetimed was probably around 3 years ago. from the way his lips smirked at you, you knew he wasn’t the same hoseok who blushed every time you held his hand.

“broski!” you yelled, running towards him and wrapping your arms around him.

“hey y/n” he said as he wrapped his arms around you aswell. “you smell good.” you said as you let go of him a little and he took the hint to let your out of his warm embrace. “thanks, its actually my friend’s” he said, smiling. you tilted your head at him. “hmm, i’d like to meet this ‘friend’, he must smell good” you said, it was your turn to smirk. he took your bags, “sure, co-worker,” he said. “let’s go.”

#bts #bts!soulmateau #soulmate!jimin #hoseok #jhope #bangtan #minyoonsh #yoongi #jungkook #hybrid! bts #got7 #exo #army #fluff #fanfic #post

[huangfilms]

Florist!Renjun

summary: i need cash because it’s summer and my parents don’t give me allowance so i applied for this job and on the first day someone ran into me and now i have coffee all over me and wow you’re pretty cute but i gtg and when i first check in for my shift i see you there,,, with my boss,,, who’s your grandma-- oh im working with you

(A/N) ok kids i am back with another renjun bulleted fic!!!! because i have nothing else to do!!! I honestly don’t know how this is going to go but I hope u like whatever i made, feedback is appreciated! also i suck at summaries so let’s Just Pretend that i have a decent summary up there

i mean I Love Flowers ya know

renjun is a flower himself but u dont know that yet

so it’s summer break and you want to make that ca$h money because ur parents don’t give u allowance during the summer,, that Blows.

okay well you decide to apply for some job in places that interest you

like the cafe around the corner of your family’s apartment complex

or the photography studio, or the arts studio

maybe even the animal shelter because!!! animals!!!

but none of those really caught your attention

sure u liked smelling coffee at like,, 5 am, and u liked taking nice pictures and drawing, and you loved!!! animals!!!

but the thing you loved the most

u guessed it!! flowers!!!

so there was a really cute flower shop that was just across your home

and you applied ofc

step one: done

all u need to do is to w a i t 

but you’ve checked out the place, and its literally the cutest place ever!!! 

you Really Want The Job Now

so you get a cute little envelope in the mail saying that you could start full time in like 2 days!

u get super psyched because it’s your first job

so fast forward two days, and u wake up bright and early because you’re really excited!!! 

when you walk in, you see the cutest old lady just watering the plants 

the door jingles since there’s a bell, and she turns around and just looks at you for like,, 5 seconds

and then she gives you THE MOST PRECIOUS SMILE EVER

so she goes in to tell you what you should do today, and says that her grandson will be working with you for summer as well

and you’re like??? oh 

because you don’t

you’ve never interacted,,

with,,, boys.

you get SHY my dude but it’s all good because he arrives tomorrow from where ever he came from

SO anyway, you water the plants, tend to the customers, and all that jazz

you go home and you start to think about her grandson,, like

what does he look like? is he nice or what??? how old,,, is he???

so you think about ur job and then you have anxiety because wow new people who might be ur age

that doesn’t mix well with you

(unless you’re a social butterfly but a bitch can’t relate)

so you wake up and you’re feeling a little nervous to meet this kid

you leave the house really early because you’re just gonna walk around to the cafe before your shift started

but then on the way, you bump into this Pure Soul

and he spills coffee all over you

and it’s ho t like that boy?? facts

who drinks hot coffee in summer

ANYWAY you jump in shock and let out a yelp from how hot it is, and then you look up about to POP OFF but then u take a look at him

and he’s a mess, he looks so flustered, he’s r e d, and he’s stuttering out apologies

and then he dabs your t-shirt with the s i n g l e napkin that he has, wasn’t going to help but hey, A for Effort

and u gotta admit, it’s kinda cute

but anyway you say that it’s fine, it was an honest mistake, and it was kind of, both of your faults.

so he apologizes once more and then offers up his light jacket, but then u refuse because your apartment isn’t even that far away.

so you leave hastily before u could get the Cute Boy’s Name

and u literally run to change into like a sweater or something, and then Blast to the flower shop

and u see that boy again with the cute old lady 

and then u connect th e dots

it’s the grandson

oh god

and your heart??? speedy fast, like,,, sonic Wishes

so you say a greeting to his gma, and then u speed walk to check in and then start your shift

idk u felt lowkey embarrassed cause!! cute boy!! u ran!! now hes h ere!!

it isnt until the pot is overflowing to know that youre overthinking a lot, and there’s like,,, a huge puddle,, at your feet,,,

so you almost drop the stupid watering can and then fuck your life over because that boy??

across from u

in the next isle

looking at u

and he

He Smiles That Smile

I think he was trying not to laugh because he puts his hand over his mouth

i mean,,,,, u embarrassed urself once more

big OOF

but anyway you turn ur self to look away from him becaus e You Just Cant look at him

But life goes on,,,

Fast forward like idk, maybe 2 hours??? you get your first break of the day so u tell ur boss that you are just going to get a snack back at that cafe that u didn’t get to go into yet cause of That Boy 

she tells u to be careful and that you could take like 30 minutes to an hour since you were working so hard

i mean, you were just watering plants but ok,, thanks gma

ur getting off topic sis

and then d cute boy decides he’s gonna take his break too

wow life must be Crazy to have you blessed with his presence

So you see him just like jogging to catch up to you and you hear his little ‘Wait!!’

then you feel all giddy inside because he??? wants to go??? with  you???? wha t

anyway you slow your step a little so he can catch up and then he

he puts his hand on your shoulder WOW PHYSICAL CONTACT

and your heart skipped a beat more like all of them

and then he like,,, he kept his hand on your back while you guys were walking

a whole?? gentleman???

you guys didn’t really talk on the way to the cafe but u really wish u did

because u get in there, you order a snacc, and then u guys sit

in awkward

silence

and its so cringeworthy 

is this embarrassment installment number 3?? why must life Play You Like This

when you’re about to Finally say something, your guys’ orders were called up and he offered to get them

so he went with a small smile and left u with your Stupid Thoughts

but he left for like 5 seconds LMAO

so anyway

he comes back, and you both go to talk at the same time--

‘Oh no u should go first’ and then he laughs

wtf that sounded beautiful

but u don’t even remember what you were going to say

yeah, staring at his face is THAT powerful

‘oh um its ok i kinda forgot haha’

and then its awkward again

embarrassment installment number 4???

of course though you guys introduce yourselves

“My name’s Renjun”

so he just smiles and tries small talk, like why u decided to get a job, or if you’re still in school, your hobbies

all the great stuff ya feel

and by the end of the break you guys are getting closer

i mean you guys arent in any awkward silences anymore

you guys are walking back to your shifts and for the rest of the time

its just you guys messing around

like you guys Got Close hm who knew also this is getting long oops

but it’s the end of your shift,,, and then u go to check out and leav e

and it isnt until you get home that you didnt even

get his number

ayo ma can i get yo numba

so youre just in bed.

questioning life

but hey!! you made a new friend!!

life goes the same for the next few weeks or so,,, and you and renjun become Really Really Close

So close that youre actually leaving your house!! Voluntarily!!

and one day you go in to your kitchen

to see flowers on the table

and a card right next to it lol its in your moms hand 

and you just go up to it cause you see your name on the card 

you McSnatch the card away bc your moms all like ‘you have a secret admirer’ and she gives you the Mom Look

so you just Blush and read the stupid card

‘Please come to work, i miss seeing your pretty face.’ and you go !!!! what !!! 

and so you throw on some pants and the closest t-shirt near you

and then you yell that you’re going to work

so you step into the flower shop and there are wa y more flowers than you remember there to be

like theres,,, one spot that has Just Flowers

and you walk up to it and then 

Renjun comes to scare you what a little shit

and then you yelp!! once more!! 

and then he!! hugs !! you!!

but not before he gives you all of these flowers!!!!

and then he!!! says!! he made the arrangement!! just!! for!!! you!!!

so on the inside you are yelling!! wtfkdfjlsdjg

and you are just wondering w hat did you ever do to deserve this precious

and the he!! says!!

‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ and then he just!! smiles so big!

because you say of course!!! 

He is a whole Catch, he’s caring, knows how to joke around, AND he’s cute!!!

okay but boyfriend renjun who is also your co-worker would be so cute! 

because you would be watering the plants, and then you would see some flowers around with small notes tied with ribbons

with the CUTEST messages on them

and you keep every single one of them in a jar on your desk

by now you have 3 jars filled

thanks for making me the Softest Stan Renjun

and so you would always find cute arrangements in you home!!

and his gma would b watching in the back with That Look

she would think ‘i made a good decision’

BECAUSE SHE DID

his gma: god tier

but anyway florist!renjun who is also your bf!! would be so!! cute!! wtf!!

my heart: melting

honestly my heart cannot handle

SO you guys would just b so happy with each other, life is good,,,

and everytime someone asks how you guys got together,,, youwould always say

lol his grandma like u would Not Believe

but you would always say that the flower shop you both work in, has brought you guys together.

Masterlist

#huang renjun scenarios #unlisted

[angelixii]

1-140 (anything you haven't answered already) - Felix

Oh, hello! Thanks for the ask!! 💕

3 fears - Spiders (I get frightened when I think about them) heights (slightly) and the public (anything like murder, kidnapped, ya know stupid people)

 3 Things I love - Music, Idols, and animals

 2 Turns on - ig Hats (like snapbacks) and glasses

 2 Turns off - oof I don’t really know.. ig self absorbed or a fudge boy

 My best friend - C: @straykids-sk (wuv you)

 How tall am I - 5′2

 What do I miss right now - My cat that passed away :c (her name was P.J)

 Favourite color - Blue, red, and sometimes green

 Do I have a crush - no not really

 Favourite place - my home

 What am I listening to right now - theres a website called asoftmurmur.com and it has noises like rain or waves and stuff like that

 Shoe size - pretty sure 10 in US womens

 Eye color - brown

 Hair color - light-ish brown

 Meaning behind my URL - I chose Felix cause hes my bias wrecker and hes angelic C:

 Favourite song - Theres like a million but 5SOS’s She Looks So Perfect wil always be a favorite (idk why)

 Favourite band - Ill just chose Stray Kids cause I don’t wanna write them all out

 How I feel right now - kinda tired but ig ok

 Someone I love - Ill say my best fren Georgia (@straykids-sk) cause i wuv her

 My current relationship status - single and i kinda wanna stay that way for a while

  My relationship with my parents - We all live in the same house and its just us (I have one other sister but she moved out. But shes here a lot tho) and we all get along well

 Favorite season - probably Spring c:

 Tattoos and piercing I have - none and I don’t really want any

 Tattoos and piercing I want - ^^^

The reasons I joined Tumblr - Georgia wanted me to and I thought it would be fun (I was right c:)

 Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - no :/

 Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - oh heel no she my best fren I would never

 How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - when I have school like 20 minutes at max

 Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? - I did today

 Where am I right now? - at my house on my laptop c:

 Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - reasonable level cause I’ve always had ear problems and they are sensitive (even tho I always have my earbuds in)

 Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - yup

 Am I excited for anything? - not that I can think of no

 Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - nope :/

 How often do I wear a fake smile? - not THAT often

 If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - oooof I don’t think I could answer that question

 What do I think about most? - probably k-pop

 Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Definitely behind

 What was the last lie I told? - It was kinda a joke but “i’ll do it because im the good child”

 Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Eh depends on who it is but facetiming/video chatting

 Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - ghosts kinda and aliens, I mean sure we’ve barely discovered space, who knows whats out there

 Do I believe in magic? - sometimes yeah

 Do I believe in luck? - I mean yeah

 What’s the weather like right now?- theres nothing really going on

 What was the last book I’ve read? - uhhhhhh fully on my own (not in class)? The Maze Runner Scorch Trials

 Do I have any nicknames? - Kassadoodle, Kassidilla, Kassy

 Do I spend money or save it? - I’m trying to save as much as I can rn in my little money jar c:

 Can I touch my nose with a tounge? - nah

 Favourite animal? - Lions and Fennec Foxes

 What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - uhhh im pretty sure saying goodbye to Georgia on video chat

 What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - oo um I cant really think of one rn :/

 What is my favorite word? - yeet

 My top 5 blogs on tumblr (not in any order)

@honeylixs

@zoxsu

@tinyfigureskater

@stray-kids-dork

@straykidsmate

 If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - I probably wouldn’t say anything cause im shy and afraid people would judge me on what I say c:

 Do I have any relatives in jail? -not that I know of

What is my current desktop picture? - a pic of Bts

Had sex? Bought condoms? Gotten pregnant? Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Had job? Smoked weed? Smoked cigarettes? Drank alcohol?

no to ALL those questions C:

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - nope don’t think I could ever

Been overweight? - …

Been underweight? - no.

Gotten my heart broken? - nah

Been to prom? - nope

Been in airplane? - nope and I never want to really

Learned another language? - I take required (cause im one of the more intelligent kids in school. I know shocker right?) Spanish classes in school but im on summer break so I dont remember any c:

Wore make up?- nope

Dyed my hair? - nope

Had a surgery? - plenty of ear surgery and had my tonsils removed

Met someone famous? - nope

Stalked someone on a social network? - nope

Been fishing? - no but my dad has always wanted to take me and it sounds kinda fun

Been rejected by a crush? - nope never really had one and if I did I would never have the guts

What do I want for birthday? - ooo idk but i have to wait till next year anyway cause its already passed

Do I like my handwriting? - sometimes when my hand cooperates

Where do I want to live when older? - with my girl Georgia

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - nope ima good child (yeah ok suuureee)

What I’m really bad at - running :/

What my greatest achievments are - managing to keep straight A’s and I dont even study cause im online so

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - “u bird cage” - Georgia c;

What I’d do if I won in a lottery - ooooooooof idk

What do I like about myself - uhhhhh heh ig my hair or eyes/eyelashes

My closest Tumblr friend - Georgia (yes I do know her irl but shes honestly the closet tumblr friend I have so)

Any question you’d like? - hmm idk

Are you outgoing or shy? - definitely shy, unless with people im close to then quite crazy

What kind of people are you attracted to? - funny, cute and nice people

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - hA no

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - kinda

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - oof idk

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “ohhhh no XDD” (sent to Georgia)

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - (I already answered this question and don’t wanna answer again)

Do you like it when people play with your hair? - yes I love when freinds at school did (once we were watching a movie in Spanish and my friend next to me was playing with my hair and I almost fell asleep heh)

Do you think there is life on other planets? - totally

Do you like bubble baths? - I haven’t had one in forever

Do you like your neighbors? - only one cause I think im related to them somehow or they are to like my uncle

Where would you like to travel? - out of this hell hole country c:

Favorite part of your daily routine? - checking my tumblr and stanning talent

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - stomach

What do you do when you wake up? - check my notifications on my phone

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - I wish it was more tan than it is (im quite pale)

Do you ever want to get married? - yeah

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? - yes but I hate pony tails so I never do it (I used to all the time as a kid)

Would you rather live without TV or music? - I rarely watch t.v anymore and listen to music almost all day so

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - I mean yeah

What are your favorite stores to shop in? - I dont really have one for clothes but I do like Walmart

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - I mean sometimes

Do you smile at strangers? - If the smile at me first yeah

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - not that I can remember no

Ever wished you were someone else? - no (as much as I hate myself no)

Favorite makeup brand? - son;t wear any so I dont got one

Last thing you ate? - a Reese cup

Ever won a competition? For what? - not a big one I can remeber no

Ever been in love? - c:

Facebook or Twitter? - dont have a fb and i barely use twitter anymore but twitter

Twitter or Tumblr? - DEFINITELy tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? - i mean its always on for bg noise and light so ig so

What color are your towels? - all kinds of colors

Favorite ice cream flavor? - either Strawberry with out the strawberries or cookie dough

First person you talked to today? - my mom

Last person you talked to today? - Georgia

Name a person you hate? - C: theres too many

Name a person you love? - once again, theres too many

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - C: theres too many

Do you tan a lot? - I barely go outside so thats a no

Have any pets? - too many

Do you type fast? - I mean kinda yeah

Do you regret anything from your past? - everything XD

Ever broken someone’s heart? - I highly doubt it

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - C:

Is cheating ever okay? - hell no

Do you believe in true love? - I mean sure

What your zodiac sign? - Pisces

Do you believe in ghosts? - why is this question on here twice?

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou) - “…but not at all overwhelming, the balance of the different fragrances was subtle and flawless.” Twilight - Breaking Dawn (Do NOt ask me why thats the closest book its not mine and ive never read it and i NEVER plan on it)

oof that took like two hours heh.. its now currently 2:18am. and im very tired

but thanks for the ask anyway love! Im sorry for the wait! I was busy today. But im probably going to go to bed now

#oof #anon ask #thanks for the ask love #love you anon #c: #this whole post looks like a mess I’m sorry

[clumsyclifford]

hello!! i am back and on desktop this time. the blog is just as pretty. alex + yellow = v v attractive jfc. this is a long one so buckle in.

to begin: i hope you have the most fun on your day road trip and sing your heart out to atl and taylor swift. i love driving long distances and idk just driving in general is fun. have the absolute best time MWAH

my birthday is in november!! november 23 to be specific. i share it with miley cyrus which is something i always found to be very cool when i was growing up and watching hannah montana. it also means i am a sagittarius and funny little fact i realized is that my best friend is a gemini. alex and jack are also a sagittarius and a gemini. from being 13 i know that tyler and josh from twenty one pilots are also a sagittarius and a gemini. something about sagittarius and gemini besties idk.

also yeah!! ao3 year in review!! it's a bit complicated to figure out at first and if you read a lot the finding pages thing can be pretty tedious, but it's def worth it once you figure it out. it gives you a lot of different stats about everything you read and it's pretty cool. now i am going to go look at your fics to remember my favs. you deserve the praise so i am willing to offer it. jeez you write a lot i respect the motivation sm. you write quite a bit of angst and i won't lie i try to stay away from angst so i haven't read your fics that seem super angst-y based on the tags. BUT there are still so many i recall reading and loving nonetheless. on a quick scroll-through: i usually don't read high school AUs but "paint me in trust (i'll be your best friend)" was super adorable and lovely. "thank god i'm yours" is one of my favs iirc. also i love love love "it's not always easy (but i'm here forever)" like yes please romanticize alex gaskarth i love it sm. "i won't be silent (and i won't let go)" and "i fell asleep in a city that doesn't" are both super fluffy and romantic and are favs of mine. in case you haven't picked up on it i adore very fluffy and romantic fics lmao. alright i am continuing to scroll and there are so many more i could list that i love but this section is getting quite long. just know if it's about a kitchen or hotel rooms being for lovers i probably read it and adored it and that pov is so valid.

waterparks!! will not lie i only really started listening to them about 6 months ago having been distantly aware of their existence for several years by being a fan of bands in the same genre. listen as long as you let yourself be vaguely annoyed by awsten is prevents you from being in love with him. follow him on any social media platform for like a day and you'll be sick of him typing in nothing but all caps within hours. simply do not romanticize him and you can keep yourself from falling!! so this is coming from a slightly fake parx fan, but some of my favs by them have been peach (lobotomy), crave, numb, fuzzy, violet!, you'd be paranoid too, and lowkey as hell. that is a very songs-from-their-most-recent-album-heavy rec, but whatever. i did give the disclaimer about being a fake parx fan.

yeah hayley does have 2 solo albums now!! petals for armor and flowers for vases / descansos. pfa is the one i didn't really like upon first listen but has grown on me. i haven't even listened to the second one in its entirety oops but we won't mention it. dead horse is good but simmer (pretty sure that was the other single??) just ain't it for me. the album has some lovely songs but it's just a hit or miss album all the way through. some favs of mine on it include pure love, taken, crystal clear, watch me while i bloom, and why we ever. it's sorta a storyline album about healing if that adds anything to it?? but anyways. i started listening to paramore around the time after laughter dropped and it grew to be one of my fav albums in existence. idle worship is probably one of my fav songs like ever. i def understand being slightly put off by bands with songs that make religious references (me with twenty one pilots' earlier music that makes a lot more religious references considering i'm not religious whatsoever) but i think i am blinded by being in love with hayley williams and just ignore it. idk that she's like super religious?? she's addressed believing in god and stuff a few times but she's def not the "rub it in your face" type and if she's making refs in music more recently then they're subtle enough i'm not noticing them. ik albums like brand new eyes had a lot more because it was shortly after that the band split and the songwriting process was essentially her and ex-bandmate co-songwriter arguing about their religious beliefs (turns out he ended up being super homophobic and transphobic all based on his religion so do with that what u will and thank the clown for leaving). i feel u on the "i meant to start listening to them" because that's essentially how i started listening to them. i told myself i was going to and then finally forced myself to do it. fuck falling for awsten knight what's more risky is falling in love with hayley </3

also yeah!! you've articulated my feelings towards tde. every song is so vastly different that it's hard to like it all. #1 fan is pretty decent though, and that's not just my bias about finding both ross and his gf hot and a cute couple and getting to see them together and ross half naked in a mirror in the video nope not at all. he's my fav himbo!! he has no personality!! no thoughts head empty!! i still love him and his strawberry-growing saga on twitter tho <3 the hazard of being in love with ross lynch since i was 12. girlfriend better be a fucking banger and there's quite a few already released singles in the tracklist so i have hope. i believe my show is in chicago on november 19 which is a thursday. kinda sucks since i intentionally bought the chicago tix nearly two years ago (the show was originally supposed to be april 25 2020. lol.) because the show was on a saturday and i have to drive 3 hours to get there. obviously i can't speak for them as tde but r5 shows always fucking slapped and i can vouch for them (realized i haven't seem them live since 2016?? 5 YEARS?? wtf) so if u genuinely like them. would recommend going to see them.

anyways. i have not listened to luke's solo album yet. i plan on it. this has gotten so long but i tried to respond in all areas and even organized it in different paragraphs this time (thanks being on desktop!!). hope you are well. hope you have a lovely day. hmm what's a little "going on in my life" fact. i got new glasses a few days ago and my eyes essentially said fuck off because adjusting to the new prescription has left me with eyes that hurt and occasionally slightly nauseous. here is to hoping my eyes get their shit together. mwah LOVE YOU TOO - the other bella/cubs anon/idk

okay hi hello. i have put this off because holy hell it's long but let's do it. i am putting a cut because this whole thing is long even without my answer

first: the road trip was super fun thank you!!! i am intrigued by this information regarding sags and geminis, we should do some scientific inquiry. enquiry. i don't know if there's a difference between those words.

aha! well i tried the ao3 year in review thing and i would say it had about 55% accuracy but still i agree it's fun to look back at that kind of stuff. and i feel you on the angst thing i go through phases of writing angst-heavy stuff and then writing very fluffy stuff and it is entirely based on my mental state buuuut i have lots of fluff and i'm glad you found it all and that you liked it yay <333 KITCHENS ARE FOR LOVERS i will die on that fuckin hill. hotel rooms as well but primarily kitchens.

dfgjhgdlfkhgdfmj honestly i dont use twitter enough that i would see his tweets enough that that would bother me also the fact that he tweets in all caps means that i just picture him yelling everything he tweets which i find absolutely hysterical so i don't think that would help. i have added these parx songs to my listen asap playlist and will get to them when i get a chance thank you i am excited also i already know lowkey as hell and it slaps super hard so im very much lookin forward to the rest of these. merci merci

YEAH simmer was the one i didnt vibe with. and honestly i feel zero compulsion to get into hayley williams as a solo artist. i just don't vibe enough to want to do that so i doubt i'll be listening to her anytime soon but maybe if i hear the songs in passing or get super bored one night, idk who can really say. but yeah christianity typically puts me off of music (speaking as a very jewish bitch) although there are notable exceptions in the cases of thomas rhett and the driver era. i'm just not attached to hayley enough to be like ehhh this doesnt matter. does that make sense

FAVORITE HIMBO PLEASE HGSDFGDFGKLFGJ i dont follow him on twitter but i have seen some interviews of ross and rocky and tbh they're great i love the way ross speaks like i like his speech mannerisms and i like his FACE and HAIR and. yeah. i think hes pretty. and i think he and 5sos SHOULD collab i think that would be sexy as hell. can you imagine that. oh my god can you imagine a ross lynch/luke hemmings collab. i'm not even really talking to you anymore bella because i know you haven't listened to luke yet and don't have a stake in it but if anyone else is reading this long ass answer. ross & luke collab. okay im going to move on and not think about that now. but i probably won't see tde unless i get a job this semester because i'm trying to stop spending so much money on big indulgent things like concerts likeee i was in a really good habit of not spending that much and then suddenly i got paid for one summer and i was just goin Crazy and i need to dial it back. plus i wanna see ajr and noah kahan equally bad so like. i have to make some calls about priorities here. it's Much to think about

good luck to your eyes i'm sure your new glasses are hella cute tho!!! LOVE YOUUUUUUU

#this answer ALSO got long #but like #duhhh #ajr are playing queens in may. that is a LOOOONG way away #so i think im just gonna hold off buying tickets to that #and see what happens #noah kahan tho......... #wait #actually hold on #am i going to see him or did i just think about buying the tickets #wait megs did i ask you about this #one sec other bella i have to go check some things lkdgmj #UHHUHHFGHFDNBDLFJ WAIT #FDGHCDHFGHLSGFHJGDSGFLHAAHHAAHH I DID BUY NOAH KAHAN TIX I JUST FORGOT #THATS REALLY FUNNY OF ME TO DO #CHRIST I AM A FUCKIN IDIOTTTT #megs and i are going to see him lmao i cant believe i just . FORGOT that #OH #RIGHT #AND THATS WHY I LISTENED TO ALL OF BLAKE ROSE #HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH #bad memory bella strikes again #ask #anonymous #cubs anon #well the point stands about ajr #SO

[byunrelatable]

ok on the ask game, 5 + 19 !! this is gonna get long bear with me oof. i’ve confessed to two people, one was a boy that i was once close with but he ignored me after we broke up :”) it’s fine he’s an ass anyway. but the second person is my current gf and holy uh this is actually kinda personal so i won’t go too in depth but we can say i did it bc it was too much not to anymore (pt 1/?)

.hi kam!! i love u thanks for the asks and thanks for sharing your story!! im really glad things worked out with you and your gf, sounds like you two have truly been through thick and thin together, you must have a very strong bond. that makes my heart feel very warm, im so happy for you!!

im going to put the rest of your asks, as well as my responses to the questions, under the cut so this doesnt become a super long post. to answer 5 and 19 in short, i will say that my answer to 5. have you ever confessed your feelings to someone? is yes, and its an embarrassing story, it also involves underage drinking so anyone uncomfy with that should not look under the cut!! and my answer to 19. share a positive memory about the last person you texted, i’ll probably keep that answer pretty short but true to my word, everything is going under the cut from here on out. thank you for sharing your story kam

send me two way asks!!

here’s the rest of kam’s asks:

we didn’t date then bc things were complicated (like i said, pERSONAL) and i,,,, did it a second time with her months later,,,,, i wouldn’t have if my friends didn’t push me to do it but they did annnddd we started dating then!! and haaaaa i uh,,,, did it once more at the end of feb this year,,,,,, bc we weren’t together at the time (this is also very personal so i could tell you abt the whole thing privately if you wanted) (pt 2/?)

in short i woke up and she asked me to be her gf again sOo, lol it’s all fun. aaannnddd here we go okay i literally just texted my gf as i write this oof but i think one of the fondest memories i have is both kinda negative but i view it positively? it was around the end of january in 2016 and we had been talking for a month or so. at the time i wasn’t in the best state of mind. (pt ¾)

i don’t remember the conversation word for word, but i have recollection of crying a lot at school waiting for my exam and just realizing how much i cared abt her and her about me and i think that marks the moment we became best friends rlly and damn who would even think to get to where we are now oof not me?? (pt 4/4 i went all out i’m sorryajsndnf)

what a story!!! like i said before, im really glad it all came together in the end, and that you have such a wonderful supportive gf

5. have you ever confessed your feelings to someone? yeah okay. from seventh grade until 11th i had a huge crush on this boy in my class. he was always doing crazy cool exchange programs. in 8th grade he went to school in coasta rica for a year, we e-mailed (lmao) all the time while he was gone. he came back in 9th grade and i was so so excited to see him again. he left again in 10th grade, and that was a hard year for me. my dad and step mom (who practically raised me) were getting divorced and i was going through some weird shit with an older guy (gross. he’s gross and predatory and i didnt know better cause i was like 15/16). so i started drinking and sneaking out and partying. 

the kid i had a crush on came back in 11th grade and i was ecstatic. we picked up our friendship where we left it off. but here’s the kicker: he was (and probably still is? but probably isnt as much of a hardass about it) a devout christian, and drinking was NOT in line with his values. he had heard from his mom that i had been doing stuff like that, and he brought it up and said he was concerned. i told him i’d stop, because i was young and i had had a crush on this kid for over four years at this point, and our mutual friend kept dropping hints that he was interested, and.. sigh. so i told him i’d cut the partying and he said he had to see it. fast forward to spring, i applied and got into a program which sends students to japan for two weeks, and this kid also got in, and i was STOKED to be in japan with him for two weeks. the first week it was fun. our last night in tokyo, i wanted to spend some time alone with him, and the rest of our friends were planning to buy some sake (we were literally 16 but they did it, they didnt get carded) and drink it at the hotel, and they wanted me to distract him cause they were worried he’d rat them out, and i was so down to try that because i wanted to spend time with him anyways. so i asked if he wanted to go on an adventure–just go get on a random subway line and see where it leads. he kinda blew me off, which stung. then in an effort to get him to hang out with me, i told him what the other kids were planning (they had specifically told me not to tell him). i told him, and said “so i really think we should just go somewhere else so we dont have to be around that.” he didnt listen to me, instead he followed the rest of the group into the convenience store and they were like uhhh, then he went up to my friend hannah and was like “so you’re buying sake huh?” and she looked at me like what the fuck arianna and i looked at her like im sorry i couldnt get him to come with me and he was like whatever and then he left the convenience store and our other friend jay went with him. i assumed they went back to the hotel. so i went back as well but they werent there. when i asked someone else where they were, they said “oh, they went out into the city on a random subway line just to go on an adventure!” the literal exact thing i had suggested. i was livid. moreso, i was really hurt. so i decided to say fuck it and get drunk, cause i had been abstaining from alcohol ALL YEAR for the sake of this ONE GUY who had really played me and led me on ALL FUCKING YEAR and lowkey for the past FOUR YEARS. so i was like, whatever. so i got drunk. then jay and the guy came back from their adventure. i asked my other drunk companions if i seemed sober (bad, bad idea. they were not good judges) they all said i seemed fine, so i went to give the kid a piece of my mind. get to his room and its just him cause his roommate had been with us in the drinking room. so i say, hey i need to talk to you. the first thing he asks is if i had drank, and i said no, like a liar with a big fat crush. then we sit down on opposite beds, and i told him i was really hurt that he rejected my offer to go on an adventure and immediately did the same thing with jay. he gave me a bs excuse like “it was kinda spontaneous” and i was like, thats bullshit. then i poured out my heart, about crushing on him for the last four years, about being a good friend when he dated hannahkate in seventh grade, about always waiting for him to come back, about working so hard to stop drinking just to be the person he wanted me to be. and i told him i loved him.

his response? “thank you for telling me.” and it shattered my heart.

when he walked me to the door of his room, he said “by the way. you were slurring the whole time, and your breath smells like alcohol. i knew you had drank from the start.” needless to say, THAT was embarrassing.

i go back to the room, drink more, eventually everyone leaves and its me and hannah. i tell her what happened, freak out a bit, cry.

the next day we woke up kinda early and went to this man-made island place i dont remember the name of, and we spent the day there. i was really quiet and reserved all day (not like me, then or now). i did not eat. when we got back to the hotel that night, hannah gave me a melon bread, and i said i wasnt hungry. she said “you havent eaten all day. if you dont eat this right now, im going to take your phone, delete [kid’s name] from all your contacts, delete every picture or video you have on your phone, erase him from your life. do you want that?” to which i said, no. and i ate the bread. it was tough love and i needed it. i was a little better the next day.

a few days later in kyoto the kid and i talked on a rooftop at sunset. i felt a little better after that. it was hard going through all of that, after four years of pining for him, but.. it was good. it was closure. i laid my cards on the table, i finally told him how i felt, and he rejected me. and it hurt, but there was nothing left to say, and it finally closed that door that had been slightly ajar for four years. and i was able to move on after that, fairly quickly actually. jumping back into partying cause i didnt have someone to impress kind of helped. well, it also kind of spun my life off in a horrible direction that led to a horrible depressing senior year of high school, but thats another story.

yeesh, that was long. on to the next one!!

19. share a positive memory about the last person you texted the most recent person i texted is my friend named nico. the first memory that comes to mind is last summer, we used to hang out a lot, one night we went to this 24 hour diner called beth’s cafe that we both love. we went at like 4 am and it was so so so fun. afterwards we watched emperors new groove in his bed and then passed out. i love nico so much. we used to be a lot closer in the summer, but at the end of summer i fucked up and we had a falling out. we still are friends and we still talk (i.e. we texted today planning to hang out this week) but.. its not the same. and i really miss the way things were before. golly isnt that bittersweet. now im a lil sad. but thats okay

thank you to anyone who read all that garbage uidsgfihjs

#asks #lovely mutuals #GOSH my confession story is LOOONG

[brothalynchhung]

2019 overview.

this year.. was fucking two years in one. also a little late again but whatever. this is going to be long as FUCK. 

started 2019 in dubai

spent the first couple of days in Dubai on the beach

YOOO AS AM WRITING THAT IT FEELS SO FUCKING LONG AGO HOLLYY SHITT

went to London and just fucked around dt and chinatown lost that damn snake ring fml

I got drunk eating dumplings watching Jeffrey star in that bed LMFAOOOYOO LMFAOOOOOEGJEORIGHSREUG

got back to Ottawa and it was straight GRIND from the get go

back to my last semester of uni 

back to club m (omg.. I miss:( kinda lol)

started that govt job

back to social media marketing for Dubai

3 jobs + school basically

did that dumbass STUPID FUCKING govt job all the way in quebec that I woke up for and travelled for everyday 

would go straight to gym, work again, or school fml

wasn't entirely bad I kinda needed it cuz I applied to a million jobs during that time and did school work LMAO also printed a lot of important shit and got paid so whatever

CAME TO TORONTO IN MARCH W TRAND OMG I FORGOT THAT WAS 2019

SAW VINCE STAPLES!!

AND The fortune teller who like prophisized all this shit goddddd 

iconic if I must say

little did I know...

I miss movati fml lol

working at club Monaco omg ugh they gave me life honestly

fun times w trang cc precious Courtney mich JACK Amanda Raman donia even tho she annoying lol and whoever else I worked w jana jil Daria honestly I just miss Courtney LMFAO uhh jenn was cool too 

I'm never going to forget that place I swear to god I have so much loyalty and pride for my memories for that place im never going to take my experience there for

chilling with avid Vinny and like Alex a bit LMAO he would randomly ask to chill it was weird

that Chinese dinner and chat time thing in his car WHAT WAS THATTT

chilling like a scrub a cu with hector and that crew goddLMAO

avin vin rideau gang

visiting avid at nordstorm the Rui girl and Herman lol he was sofunny

MY BODY IS FOR ME NOT THESE BITCHES LMFAOO 

last class with strangle omg he was iconic honestly 

trang pargol fidede zainab mannnn honestly shoutout old Ottawa friends 

xinyii!! and jelly!! my last times with them

I miss Xinyi so much :( im so happy I got to see her before leaving she was so nice I wish her so much success 

remember working those last shifts at cm like.. yo I feel like things are going to change and my days are numbered.. I feel it. 

did interview after interview, applying EVERYDAY to escape 

the amount of focusing I did on applying around feb and April like I was just focused on working and getting out of there

did two interviews in like 2 hours always on the go always moving always working 

and then like clockwork.. at the govt job.. went to the bathroom knew? to bring my phone with me.. and then right when I left I got a call from mk went into that empty conference room and got the offer. cried. accepted. life changing

I honestly just left that place... went to cm and just.. resigned... put my two weeks in...

and it happened literally in my last week of the govt job..

like fate 

immediately went home told cc precious fam 

fam weren't happy 

BUT I FINALLY ESCAPED!!!! LOOKING BACK ON THIS BLOG AND EVERYTHING I FINALLY F I N A L L Y GOT OUT OF THERE THE BITCH ASS CURSED SHIT CITY NEVER GOING BACKEGIUEHGEIRUGH 

shout out precious for helping me honestly he helped so much 

found my place through hmida who held it down

that whole condo scenario LOL godddd my landlord a HOE

met zgy gvy at precious while I crashed a night

THE MILLIONS OF RIDESHARESSS GOODDDDDD

remember the one I took last minute from Yorkdale LMAO that one wasn't bad honestly I slept good

moving my things packaging them up. like yo.. lol

bringing the boxes from shoppers godddd LOL 

finally landed in Toronto with my place

waiting outside for 5 hours for my damn keys crazy with my suitcase lol... 

THEN FINALLY GOT TO MY FIRST PLACE!! MY FIRST RENTAL CONDO ALL ON MY OWN NO ROOMATES JUST ME

unpacking my things

like just finally having my own place mannn that was my dream for such a long ass time

getting around dt a bit getting used to tdot... 

crazy exciting 

then... 3 days in..

...

met that bitch that fucked me up 

met everything I ever wanted in a person? physically and interest wise and yet?

nothing? 

SO CONFUSED I MET SOMEONE WITH EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I WANTED

first hookup? lost v? 

new city new job new life new home lost v new everything

in 3 days. 

my life crazy..

spent the whole time like until October till low-key NOW just thinking about it bitterly 

my feelings up and down I was drowning in obsession and confusion

I know I fucked it up but it was fucked up since the beginning

shook everything about what I thought I wanted in gl or a person

standards are definitely raised and all men trash and hoes Idgaf

I feel nothing towards nobody

my whole mind switched to money and power. 

gl I love you but you're not here and we got a lot growing to do so imma see ya ass in a couple of years 

anyways started working at mk!!! craziest 3 month probation thing I had 

HOWWW DID I DOOOO ITTTTTTT 

met so much people... holy shit.. zgy,gvy,hailey,gab,aisha,priya,rach,lisa,alex,DANIA, goddddd

clubbing.. mon., thurs... weekenddd... wake up... 8:30 work

how did I do it.... fuck lol

met a lot of hoes.. fucked with Sunday once more before he died bye bitch ass hoe.. Leo, sleeve, uhhh that's it I think actually

CABANNNAAAA

OMG I SAW SEAN PAUL LIVE ICONICC YOO THIS FUCKING YEAR LMFAOOOOO

omg YEAH I SAW NCT IN MY FIRST WEEK OF TO WITH PARGOL LMFAOOO YOOOOO

damn this year was crazy I keep forgetting shit

all the weird ass ppl I met at cabana omg the humber guy YOO THE ASIAN GUY WITH MY KEYS LMFAOOO ZGY FUCKLMFGIESH

omg tsf lmao and like yeah all the clubbing ppl in to fuck 

half and half like didnnt know if I liked it or not but it was crazy

still think about that Frans night the damn milkshake and food omggg

just spent summer exploring to trinity Bellwoods ossington like summer stories clubbing stories

managing my double life lol

SPIDERMAN OBSESSION LMAOOOO TO DISTRACT MY MIND FROM THAT BITCH ASS HOE LMFAOOFREJGIEURHSTESUIH THEN I FOUND OUT HE HAS A WHOLE WIFE AND BABY YOOO LMFAOOO

good distraction made work fun when I needed it during my last months of probation LMAO

omg going home during lunch and then back to work ICONIC

leaving the girls at my place and coming back for lunch LMAOOO god really iconic honestly showering and going back to work sleeping hoeing all that LMFAO 

omg the time I left Leo at my place YOO LMAO

still have that expensive ass sweater LMFAO WAT A SIMP

those drunk texts he sent Me in august and I punked him off LMFAOO 😩😂

men trash 

darren Chris rob goddd all those damn ppl I met the one guy who saved me during that blacTHE BLACKOUT CABANNA NIGHT GOD THAT WAS A MESS LMAO TITTIES OUT EVERYTHING but yeah he was low key useless I forget his name highboy but whatever

YOOO THAT GIRLS TITTIES I SLEPT ON NGEIRGHEUHUE ICONIC

I got catfishes twice 😩 the change bitch and the John bitch airehguerihserh FUCKKK LMFAO

AND THEN THE CHANG BITCH WAS TRYNA SAY OH U JSUT LOOK TO ARAB THATS WHY WE HAVNET TALKED AGAINL IKE BITCHHHHH FIRST OF ALL UR A WHOLE CATFISHFHERGUERBKSHETERU AHERUIGESRUYR LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

and then I catfish Sunday to punk him off for revenge and call him a thot and thought he was talking about me for catfish when it was just about another bitch he was hoeing with cuz he a hoe.. Jesus my life wild

SO MUCH SHIT THIS SUMMER UHERGHSREG

gained weight fml I don't even wanna mention it iDONT WANNA TALK

even if it is muscle I dDONT WANNT TALK ABOUT IT

the cabana pool jump... godd... walking home drunkregiuhersguhe fucK 

summer was crazy

nada and mama coming wow that was annoying I rlly can't do family even though I love them

getting high swimming the catfish racing munchies arguing with Alex LMAO 

eating out with Dania gab Lisa the normal ppl I met lool

a lot of stress of money and where I want to go I was in a hella rush idk why I think everything happening so fast made me not want to slow down at all but im finally slowing down 

priya end of the year rebel tiff stuff 

basically drowning in depress and regret around the end of summer cuz everything calmed down and I had the time to think and reflect about everything and yeah.. got super depressed

that bitch cc and her bullshit yo just fucking go bye

notice how there's like no memories with her like yeah there was but they were just annoying cuz she was annoying highkey

thanks for bringing my shit from Ottawa tho dumbass LOL eat a dick

THE HOT TUBBBB SUMMERSSS AND SUMMER NIGHTS 

omg all my emo ass walks at night to the port and water and trillium park in the morning aiohreughresehre writing with my journal god that was actually nice tho 

super peaceful so happy to live near the water highkey

always in between losing myself who am I what do I do now who am I like did I lost myself did I ever have myself

major existential crisis

how did I survive work god 

musicmusiscmusicccc

moviesmovesmoves

readreadread

actually I had a lot of night walking home from the club sad

omg remember the ovo guy fucking loser liar 

as usualllll 

RECORDRESCORSDCRECORDDSSS SO MANY TDOT IS PERFECTT

ugh what else fuck too much shit happened OH YEAH

my birthday with the girls and the bbq!! the cake!! omg so nice :((( so funny lol

that weirdo ass man that I still see in the gym sometimes god help me lol 

passing my probation!!!! and then like finally fitting in and feeling apart of mk and the “family” lol

CLARK KENT AND SCOTTISH MANS MAKING MY LIFE EVRYDAYYYYYugh love them

got a moomin from Scottish mans 🥺 love him

anyways got depressed drowning in obsession.. nothing surprising there 🙄 

got high and drunk like bottom of the barrel... 

right before pargol came LMAO 

oh yeah I went to Ottawa because yo I was going out of my mind about losing myself.. needed to go BACK to the place I hated to find myself

went back and it was like??? everything was the same.. still saw vin and avid and Herman at Rideau still had bbt with them 

still fucking around hector and that whole crew had Ivan his girl moe.. ribal..Kyle YO lol that weird ass club experience AS USUAL Ottawa clubs trash god

apple picking same year in a row wit z <3 and hamza and fams lol

saw the kids and got to be stupid again loool 

anyways came back to my actual life

like it just felt weird knowing that the place I had all my memories and experiences in like.. felt nothing

even the forest felt weird like I didn't need to be there anymore?

as much as tried to drown myself in obsession and my past and bad habits.. I couldn't?

im being forced to move forward and learned Sunday was the last experience it was just eye opening

after the emotional shit I sat down again and had a whole purging 

I never felt that bad and horrible and drowned in obsession since raglan..

like.. deleted the hidden pictures... the feeling.. like I've done this before...

that was the final straw..

you think its over just because I am dead but its not over..the games just begun.

never again. 

anyways I met Aisha!!! love her vibe with her heavy

introduceed me to the sugar shit YOOOO LMFAOOO

THEN WE STARTING PIMPIN AND MAKING EXTRA MONEY

NO MORE MONEY STRUGGLE 

GOT FUCKED OVER HEART TURNED COLD NOW WE FOCUSING ON MONEY CAREER POWER PLAYING THESE HOES FOR THEY MONEY AND RECLAIMING MYSELF 

weird ass fucking people but get the money and go 

stack up crazy and saving up this past few months 

and just chilling w friends and therapy sessions

scheming and planning for the future

therapy sessions

got close with Lisa

oh yeah BOLO!! UGH BEST GYM

ALSO OMG I FORGOT I SAW BROCKHAMPTON AGAIN!!! AND SOMEHOW GOT TO THE BARRIER AND LITERALLY HAD SO MUCH INTERACTION WITH KEVIN LIKE SINGING TOGETHER AND THEN HE CAME DOWN SAID I GOTCHU AND TOOK TWO PICS WITH ME FUCKGIERGEIUTHSEUH THAT WAS INSANEEE MY LIFE WILDDDD 

iconic holiday party and New Years with again like random weird ppl and my girls exemplifying how wild and fresh the whole experience of this year was 

at least I be waking up warm and clean in MY PLACEby myself with no bullshit 

just like.. got a new place new job new city basically live the life I always wanted? reading movies? new friends no problems? wtf how my life change so quick

new interesting experiences

getting drunk high dancing at my place out in these streets just meeting bare people all these new people and experiences holy shit... 

and like yeah im not where I want to be but this progress and process is FUN now 

everything a strategy and a move and love staying busy 

wish I had more free time tho I never feel rested my life fucking crazy LOOL

that weirdo bitch who thought he was dating me UGHHH BOTTOM OF THE BARRELL JUST FOR A CAR AND FOOD BITCHARE U CRAZY 

power trip crazy im so sorry jfc 

anyways block and move on

met Chris and we still talking for like 3 months in a row god... lol gunna see him Saturday idk was the HALE going on 

im like surrounded by hoes???? and I don't want it GOD I JUST BEEN FOCUSING ON ME AND MONEYFUCK EVERYONE ELSE 

idek what else maybe im missing shit but this whole year wild best year of MY LIFE though

idk what the fuck gunna happen in 2020 cuz my split lives and the chaos and playing hoes and always thinking about opportunity and abundance and money got my mind and moves all wrapped in strategy but we only ONNLY ONLYYY GOING UP from here no excuses lets fucking go I always say this but 2019 was fucking wild and you know what.. lets fucking go 2020 LETS FUCKING GO as long as I don't gain weight LMFAO lets fucking GO. money and power on my mind exclusively. gl imma see you in 2 years. focusing on bigger things but at least im OUT HERE and ESCAPED and we onLY ATTRACTING AND MANIFESTING ABUNDANCE