#summer stans I wish I could be you

[elvendria]

Clean (formerly Love is a Battlefield)

AU Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Part Three

(i was planning out the story and realised the name no longer suited, so here we are)

Summary:

You return to Hawkins after a few years in the middle of the night during the summer with your 4-year-old sister in tow, thinking the two of you could fly under the radar and settle in at Forest Hills Trailer Park. You thought you could get by without bumping into your old enemy, Eddie Munson, the town freak.

But you weren't always enemies, in fact, there was a time when you two were closer than anything.

Eddie dreams of making it big, you just dream of making it out of here alive.

\\enemies - lovers//

((Warning I'm not from the US, so bare with me when it comes to states and such))

tw: smut 18+ oral (m receiving) 18+ MINORS DNI or I will be busting kneecaps, E.D, physical abuse, child abuse, runaways, the reader Joyce's ex-step-niece, Will and Johnathan's cousin, Joyce is Queen, Wayne is King, slow burn, gambling addictions, the reader is 20 and Eddie is 21, Chrissy is the villain but we stan Grace. Reader has a small scar on her lower torso. underage drinking, allusions to smut, no details of smut for obvious reasons, eventual smut in upcoming chapters,

Word Count: 5226K

part one part two part three part four

Days turned into weeks, and soon it was the middle of July, and still even then, his touch lingered on your lips. It was as soft as you'd remembered. He still tasted like mountain dew and toothpaste, only now with the added taste of cigarettes.

It made your chest lurch at the memory.

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Those words echoed in your mind late at night, the way his eyes widened, red-rimmed from being told the news. The feel of his hands on yours, both of you centimetres from crossing the line of no return.

-flashback to sophomore year-

You'd just been told you were moving across the country, and your heart currently resided in your feet. You were 16 but you were convinced your life was over. Everyone you knew, everyone you loved, was here. Your home was Hawkins, and despite your wishes to leave, you never wanted to leave like this.

You wanted to leave with your best friend, the guy you'd been crushing on since you met him. Eddie Munson, your guy, is the only person who saw you for you. Who knew you better than you knw yourself. And now you were expected to leave him behind with the promise that you'd fucking write every week.

And that's how you ended up sitting on his bed and staring at his posters, your hands wringing together in your lap. He was silent on the other side of the room, processing your words..

"So this is it." You could tell he was doing his best to maintain composure and to be strong for you, which was fruitless because you were already a mess. You just needed your best friend to hold you and hug you and tell you it would be okay.

"I guess that deal we made in freshman year is null and void now." You tried to lighten the mood, but it was near impossible, because your predicament hung like a heavy cloud in the room, threatening to open and rain down on everyone beneath it.

It took him a while to remember the deal, or at least he let on that it took him a while. The truth was that it was all he ever thought about. He plagued him late at night, and whenever he saw you smile. Hell, it was on a loop in his mind whenever he saw you in general, he just didn't think it was something you'd remembered making.

It had been your first high school party, Eddie had snuck you both in the spring of your freshman year, and you'd gotten quite drunk. Jason Carver had tried to kiss you but your fist had given him the message, and so he stopped. Besides that, the party was uneventful. Eddie stayed sober to make sure you'd get home okay, but he told you it was because he didn't like any of the alcohol there.

"Promise me we'll be each other's firsts, okay?" You had murmured out, stumbling into his arms. He knew you were gonna be killed if you went home this way, he wasn't blind to your bruises.

"Firsts? First what?" He didn't register it until moments later, too focused on how pretty you looked in the moonlight. Like something, someone, from a fairy tale. You were gorgeous, effortlessly so. He didn't know why you didn't see it. "Oh... sure, I mean it's not like I'm gonna find anyone else."

You continued to mumble as he led you back to the trailer park. He so badly wanted to kiss you at this moment, the stars the only witnesses, but he wasn't a creep, and he wasn't going to try something if he felt you wouldn't remember or worse, didn't want it.

Now fast forward a year later, and he's sitting, staring at you like you'd just told him you knew about his best-kept secret. "You... You remember? You were so drunk, I thought-"

"No matter how much I drank that night, I don't think I'd ever forget asking you to... well you know." You didn't want to carry on saying it, afraid that if you do he'll laugh, tell you that you're crazy or stupid. You were so caught up in feeling this way, in being in your own head, that you didn't realise he'd moved closer to you until suddenly his hands were on yours, his body between your knees.

"What... What if it wasn't null and void. What if we still did it? Only if you want to of course..." He wanted to tell her how beautiful you were. You'd known each other since they were kids, and in his eyes, you'd only gotten more beautiful with each passing second. Every moment with you was a moment he used to study the colours in your eyes, counting the small freckles on your arms. He knew you better than you knew yourself. He knew what you were capable of, of all your potential.

He'd always known you were more than Hawkins, more than the parents that would drag you down and squash your dreams in a heartbeat. He'd always known that if your heart ever broke, he'd replace it with his own in a second. He'd always known it was yours, ever since he'd seen you that first time.

You didn't know what to say. Your eyes were trained on his, and his eyes burned with something... unrecognisable. Something that made you feel warm. All it took was a nod of your head, and slowly he moved you onto the bed, ridding you both of your clothes.

His lips ghosted over your own, taking your breath in heavy pants, his arms steady by your head

And then he spoke those words. The ones that haunted you still. Those three small words would run through your mind late at night.

"Are you sure?"

"Are you sure?"

"Are you sure?"

You sometimes wondered what your life would be like if you changed your mind. If you told him you weren't sure. But late at night, when your mind won't turn off, all you can picture is his alabaster skin, his hands on you, holding you, cradling you, caring for you. The feel of his lips on yours. He tasted the same, it almost made you mad. Your skin still tingled from where he touched you, just like it had before. It almost made you scream.

Almost.

All these things, the small details that should irritate you, instead warmed you. Knowing he had changed in appearance only, something about that made you feel... some way as you stocked the shelves at work. But you couldn't, he was dating that overly preppy girl who would come around all the time. He was taken, spoken for, and in love with a girl who looked nothing like you. Pushing your thoughts and feelings aside, you gathered up your things as your shift ended.

You were due to collect your car from the garage of Waynes' friend. You hadn't spoken with him, but Wayne promised he was a good guy, best in Hawkins. And you trusted Wayne. He'd told you it was just a ten-minute walk from your job, which you were grateful for. As much as you'd come to like Simon, there were only so many times you could listen to him complain about the kids who delayed him in the mornings.

Stepping off the bus, you let out a long sigh, tired from the long day. All you were looking forward to was getting home so you could curl up on the couch with Willow, watching a film you let her pick out from Family Video. The guy from behind the counter was familiar, but you just couldn't place him.

Trudging along the street, feet barely lifting off the ground, you were sure Wayne had gotten it wrong and in fact, the garage was ten miles, not ten minutes.

As you walked you made a mental note of what you had to do once you got your car back. Laundry was top of the list, the downside of getting a trailer so soon and on such short notice is that you had no washer or dryer, leaving you to rely solely on the laundromat in town.

Trekking into town had been a nuisance, especially lugging the clothes to and from the laundromat. You were thinking of investing in a washboard and going all 1800s, but you knew that you wouldn't be able to keep up with the mountain of washing, or the pain it would cause your arms. Thankfully Wayne said you could start using his after mentioning that idea to him, so you didn't have to worry about it anymore after this load.

The garage was a rusty building, looking like it would collapse with one good gust of wind. But Wayne said that the guy working on your car was the best, although when you stepped inside you began questioning his judgement for the first time in your life.

Your car sat in the middle of the room, with no mechanic in sight. Loud banging could be heard, drilling and hammering, metal clanking off metal echoed and bounced around the room. You looked around and felt slightly exposed, worried the guy servicing the car would be a creep.

Due to the heat, you had opted for an off-the-shoulders top crop top and shorts, and if Greg's comments were anything to go by, you were showing a lot of skin.

"I'm uh... I'm here to pick up my car?" Your voice was meek, tiny and quiet as you attempted to call out, although thankfully someone heard you because you could hear footsteps coming towards you.

"Yeah, no problem, which one is i- Oh, it's you." He stood there, white muscle shirt clinging to his body and suddenly you forgot how to breathe. You weren't sure how you hadn't noticed it before, but despite his slender frame, he was actually pretty buff. Combined with sweat from working in the heat all day, every crease and dip and curve became all that more defined. You felt your mouth go dry as your core goes wet.

What were you supposed to do, he was standing there looking like someone out of a Playgirl magazine. a sweaty oily rag tossed over his shoulder and a grease smudge on his cheek.

His dark hair was a mess of loose curls, only made worse by his hand running through them, fussing with it and pushing it back. The majority of it was tied back in a bun, but there were a few stray pieces that framed his face, now sticking to it.

You stared at him for a few seconds without speaking, your mind blank. You were at a loss for words, which was very rare when it came to him. Most of the time you were cursing him from a height, or calling him every name under the sun before Willow even woke up in the morning. Just as you expected though, it didn't take long for you to find it again.

"Wait, you're looking after my car?" You were slightly annoyed, you had hoped to never run into him again if possible. You were also annoyed with Wayne, knowing without a doubt he had set this up. Had Eddie asked him too? Had Eddie done something to your car so you'd have to go to him? Okay, that may have been a stretch, but it couldn't be ruled out.

He looked at the ground, shuffling his shoes on the concrete and twisting his rings. You could feel his smirk before you could see it. That same damn smirk that used to make you weak in the knees. Turns out that some things never change. He crossed his arms over his chest, turning his head up to look at you like he was some kind of winner in this situation. Like he knew something you didn't. "This is the car I was assigned, why, is that a problem?" He looked down at your shoes and back up at you, eyes raking across your body and taking slightly longer to stare at your chest. Back in Nevada, you would have slapped a boy for doing that, but with Eddie, you felt... alright about it? You mimicked his stance, arms crossed under your chest, unknowingly pushing them up more.

"Shouldn't be, as long as you actually work on it and don't, you know, throw yourself at it with no warning." You glared daggers into him, letting him know exactly what you thought of his actions a few weeks ago. You would never admit you liked it. No, you would go to the grave with that secret.

You watched as his face fell, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck as he looked... almost ashamed. Strangely, it made your heart sink. Did he regret it? Did he hate it? Did he hate that it was you? Maybe he thought it was going to feel different, maybe it wasn't the same for him as it was for you.

You couldn't take this anymore, you could feel tears brimming your eyes for some stupid reason and just needed to leave. You shouldn't care, he clearly didn't. "Look, just tell me how much I owe you and I'll be on my way." You didn't know why you were upset, you had filled your quota of tears over him in the months that followed after your last letter.

The letter where you told him to call you. That you had something you needed to tell him and that it didn't feel right to put it in a letter.

The letter he never responded to. The letter he never heeded. The letter that was the last time you spoke to him. You were terrified, going through a truly horrific time in your life and needing the man you loved, only for him to blank you.

"You, you don't owe me anything. It's um... it's on the house." He looked down at you with soft eyes. It hurt, the way he looked at you like an injured dove, pitying you.

"No, no I'm not taking your handouts, I'm paying for the service." You fumbled for your wallet in your bookbag, searching for it and getting irritated when you couldn't find it.

"Hey no, look I'm ser-" He began to try and get you to stop, trying to get your hands from your bag.

"So am I Eddie, I'm not going to be in debt to you." You pulled out the wallet finally, pushing a few dollar bills into his chest.

"Take the money, Eddie." You slammed it into his chest again and again, positively seething at his refusal. "I'm serious take the-"

He'd had enough. Clearly, words weren't getting through to you so he did the only thing he could think of. Grabbing your hands as they connected to his chest, he held your wrists, pinning you to a wall with the hands above your head, the cash falling from your fingers.

"Jesus Christ, do you ever shut up.'' His voice was dark, his forehead creased and his brows drawn together. He looked mad, annoyed almost, but not in a way you'd seen before. And you'd seen Eddie mad before.

You wrestled against his hold, not as hard as you could have. Secretly you didn't want to leave, you didn't want him to let go.

"Nice to see you're still as feisty as ever. At least that hasn't changed." He leaned in, speaking so close to you that his breath fanned your face. "God, I want to kiss you so bad right now." His eyes were fixed on your now trembling lips.

You don't know what came over you, you felt your eyes widen, breath catching in your throat, and suddenly... you got a hand free.

You should have pushed him, you should have stood your ground. But you didn't. Instead, you grabbed the back of his neck, pulling his lips to yours in a heated moment of passion.

A surprised noise came from him, his hands dropping your own before recognition overcame him, and he was back in the moment, drowning in you. God what a way to die. But before he moved in further, he pulled back away and looked at you, the three words hanging in the air.

Are you sure?

Your delicate fingers latched into his hair before you had a chance to register it all, a hunger burning inside of you that had lay dormant for four years. A hunger that was only satiated by his lips on yours, his tongue exploring your mouth as a soft moan left you.

"You taste better than before, how the fuck do you taste better than before?" He spoke with an almost disbelief. You weren't sure what he meant, but then again you kind of did. Eddie used to taste like toothpaste and the knockoff cola Wayne would buy from the dollar store, but now... now he tasted of weed and cigarettes. The mint and cola were still there, buried in the back, but overall it was all him, it was all. Undeniably, unbelievably him.

He hummed against your lips, swiping his tongue along your lower one. "Mm, is that chapstick? Tastes nice." He swiftly devoured you again, and before you knew it, you're hands were on his waist, tugging his white shirt out of his jeans.

"Someone's hasty, at least buy a guy dinner first." He spoke mockingly, teasingly, as his lips devoured your own.

"Now who's the one who can't shut up?" As you said that, you felt his hand sneak up to your throat, holding you back to the wall in a show of desperation, eyes boring into yours. He didn't say a word, just letting you sink into the sticky pools of his eyes, allowing you to get stuck forever.

"You better watch that fucking mouth of yours." His voice held a mocking seriousness but was dark enough to make you inhale sharply.

In this moment, right now, you weren't in a mechanics shop, hell you weren't even in Hawkins. You were somewhere else entirely, some universe where nothing had ever happened. A world where your needy kisses, your flustered movements along his body held no deeper meaning.

Dipping his head, he kissed along a piece of your neck that makes your knees buckle beneath you. His hands found your elbows, holding you up and caging you in. You could feel his teeth grazing your skin, soft sounds spilling from you, your voice full of eagerness. You were a mess, a puddle in his hands.

You couldn't take it anymore. Once you found your feet, you pulled him off of you, a look of shock and worry appearing on his face. That was quickly wiped off when you pushed him back against your car, his hands splayed behind him on the door as you dropped to your knees.

You didn't know why you hadn't stopped yet, you were like a woman possessed. You knew you shouldn't do this, that this time of your life was meant to stay in the past, and you shouldn't fall back into old routines of pining for him. And yet all you wanted was to feel him. Feel his pulsing skin in your hands, feel each tremor and twitch and curve of his body against yours.

You looked up at him with serious yet comforting eyes. "Do you want this?" All he had to do was say the word, and she'd get up and walk away.

God she really didn't want him to say the word.

"Wha- what are you talking abou-" You cut him off as you put your hand on his denim-clad thigh. You were nervous. You'd never been with anyone apart from him. Things had gotten in the way. You knew he'd been with others, hell you saw girls leave his trailer just two days ago, and you had to admit it hurt like hell to see them.

"Do. You. Want. This." You spoke matter of factly, eyes wide and stern. Your heart felt like it was beating 100 miles a minute, your palms sweaty and your stomach in knots. You wanted this so bad, but you didn't know what it would mean if you went through with it. You pushed that thought to the back of your mind, your eagerness to feel him winning you over.

"Ye-Yes... I want this... I want you..." He spoke quietly, under his breath so you wouldn't hear the last part. "I've wanted you."

You nodded your head, looking back at his jeans where you saw the fabric strain a little. Hooking your fingers into his belt loops, you popped the button before pulling them down, his boxers following suit. Before you had a chance to react, his large leaking cock made a soft thump against his stomach.

Big didn't begin to describe it. Sure you'd felt it last time, but you never really had a chance to see it, nerves overcoming the both of you to the point that you just wanted it done and over with. Now, however, you wanted to savour it, you wanted to take your time.

He was thick too, he had to have grown because there was no way that it would have fit before. You must have been staring for a while because you heard a dark chuckle come from above you, his hand coming down to stroke your cheek, gripping your chin.

 "What are you looking at?" His thumb brushed your bottom lip, fiddling with it. "Go on, you can tell me. Used to be able to tell me anything."

You took a breath, reaching a tentative hand out to touch his skin. "You... I'm looking at you..." You were truly speechless, unable to say much, your mouth watering at the sight of him. Gently, you went to touch his cock. You had his permission, you knew he wanted this just as much as you did, and soon that mind-fogging monster returned to cloud your judgement.

He groaned out as you wrapped your hand around him, his tip a fiery red as it presented to you. You stroked his shaft, soft and tenderly, eyes fixed on it. You got the same feeling as when you'd run the mile in high school, desperately thirsty.

Slowly, you slide just the tip of your tongue up the underside of his shaft, so light he can barely feel it - it's mostly just the sensation of your breath. You can sense his cock twitching, and feel it pulse in your hand.

Once you reach the head, you slide your lips over it ... just the head ... sucking it in, swirling your tongue around it. you can hear his breath catch as you suck a little harder.

"Shit babygirl, fuck..." His breath was heavy, chest heaving as he looked down at you, the way you rotated your hand along his shaft, suckling away at his head. "S'good, S'so good."

You were in a haze, you don't know what came over you, but you liked seeing him this way. Wanting you, needing you, calling you that name. You moaned as you heard it, feeling the vibrations in your hand as you took him in a bit more.

You tapped his cock on your tongue a few times, before placing sloppy wet kisses along the sides of him, moving lower and lower to his base. As you got to the bottom, you looked up at him with innocent, angelic, doe eyes, and sucked his balls into your mouth as you pumped his shaft.

"Holy shit... fuck yo-you're going to kill me, gonna drain my soul right out of my fucking balls baby." He was ashamed to admit how close he was. The feel of your warm wet mouth combined with the lingering taste of you was sending him into overdrive. "Fuck... come on, be a good girl and suck my cock for me."

You said nothing, you just tenderly licked his balls while warming them up with your mouth. You looked up and saw him, the way his body was tensing, the muscles in his hips contracting slightly as he bit his bottom lip, indicating to you that he was desperate not to cum yet.

You grinned, before removing your mouth from his balls and without a second's warning, you shoved his length deep into your mouth. You had returned to his cock, sucking like a slut in heat. You wished you could deepthroat him, but the burn in the back of your mouth where you'd managed to get him to was almost too much.

"Shit shit shit... fuck I love your mouth, never had one like it, baby." He was almost jealous. No scratch that, he was insanely jealous. There was no way you'd gotten this good at sucking someone off without any practice. No way. He pushed that image aside though, choosing to live in the moment.

As you bobbed your head, hollowing your cheeks around him, you almost dared him to cum, begged even. You wanted to know how it tasted, wanted to feel that sweet nectar running down your throat. Your eyes said as much, a pleasing look as tears stung the corners of them.

"S'good for me, oh...fuck...I'm gonna come soon, gonna cum down all in your mouth aren't I?"

Your pace and intensity grew with each movement up and down his shaft, making loud slurping and sucking sounds with your mouth, and tongue running along his underside. His cock was throbbing, you could feel it shaking in your mouth. You could see it now, the white-hot cum filling up your mouth, dribbling from your lips.

No sooner had you thought that than your cheeks were filled with him, the salty taste of him enveloping your senses. As you stared up at him, his eyes full of curiosity as if pondering your next move, you swallowed it all, licking your lips to clean up any that spilt.

You could tell he wasn't expecting that, because his mouth hung open a little as he caught his breath, chest heaving up and down as he tried to recover. "Jesus Christ, I didn't think you were gonna-" He was fastening up his jeans when he heard the click-clacking of a familiar pair of heels.

You however weren't familiar with the sound, yet you threw yourself together as fast as possible. The last thing you wanted was rumours spreading and having attention drawn to you. You grabbed a piece of blue tissue paper, cleaning off your spit just in time for whoever it was to come in.

"Hiya baby!"

Baby? Who the fuck was calling him baby? Turning around to face the person, your heart stopped. Standing before you was none other than Chrissy Cunningham. She'd been a star athlete when you were in middle school and from the looks of things that hadn't changed. You shot Eddie a look of confusion as she sauntered in, jacket draped over her arm.

"Oh... Chris, I didn't think you'd show up at my job." He wished she'd get the message that a casual fuck doesn't mean they're together. She was waltzing in here and ruining his chance of happiness.

"Oh course I'd show up here, can't miss seeing my hunky man in action." She hadn't even bothered to notice the other person in the room, she was always so used to having them try to talk to her first that when no one but Eddie spoke to her, she simply assumed they didn't exist. Although that was hard to do when those idiotic nonexistent people made noises like coughing. Or breathing.

You had cleared your throat, an apparent side effect of having given a taken man a blowjob, when the redheaded devil shot you daggers. Sweet, sickly daggers that pierced your skin with smiles. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't see you there, and you are?"

It hurt almost. Almost. Chrissy had made your life hell when you were in school together, something you didn't like to talk about given that she was not one but two grades below you. You remember when you got your period, having bled through your white jeans, and she tauntingly called you Bloody Mary until you left.

That was the same day Eddie had given you his prised jacket to cover yourself till you got home. The same jacket that he never took back. The same jacket that you gave to Willow that's way too big for her.

And now here she was, calling Eddie her man and acting like she didn't remember you. It stung, it made you feel belittled, and irrelevant. You felt invalidated by her response.

"I'm just here to get my car." As you spoke, you could feel the once passionate bond between you and Eddie splinter like glass before cracking into fragments. He must have felt it too, because he turned to look at her, taking her by the elbow to guide her from the garage.

"Look Chrissy I really don't have time to feed into this right now, I have work to do." He spoke with her quietly, when they reached the entrance, and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, she kissed him.

And he kissed her back.

You felt your gut sink to the floor as you watched them exchange goodbyes as she left. You don't know why you felt this way, you knew he was sleeping around, you just didn't know he was also in a committed relationship. One thing you did know for certain, was you weren't about to be another one of his side pieces for him to call up in the middle of the night looking for a piece of ass.

"Sorry about that, I wasn't expecting her to be here. She normally never stops by." He walked over to the table, grabbing your keys to hand them to you. "So, next time you really need to let me go do-"

"There won't be a next time." You snatched your keys, fiddling with the lock on your car. You could sense him, the way his body stiffened at your words.

"What do you mean? bunny she means nothing!" He held out his hands in defence but it was useless, you saw the way she looked at him, how in love she was. You even saw with your own two eyes. If it meant nothing, he wouldn't have kissed back.

"I mean, there won't be a next time because this was a mistake, and from now on I think we should only see each other when I'm getting Willow from Wayne in the evenings." Finally finding the key, you get the door open. You slide in and turn it on, the sweet sound of the engine filling your ears.

"And stop calling me Bunny, you lost that privilege when you never called me." Before he had a moment to register your words, you were gone, your body drained of all its energy, sucked dry from you as if he was some sort of... energy vampire or something. Overall you had to put this down as one of the worst days of your life.

And you still didn't get to do the laundry.

part one part two part three

@vintagehellfire @1paire2vans @introvertedmouse

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[jacky-rubou]

Planning to write an essay on the limited Ford and Mabel bonding in the show and well, I thought of approaching you if you have any pointers. Especially dispelling any misconceptions by the fandom whether Ford overlooked Mabel or the bond she shared with her brother.

I think the main misconception I see is that Ford didn't care about Mabel at all in comparison to Dipper. Or, in some ridiculously extreme cases, that he hates her.

People forget that Mabel was the first twin he interacted with, and it was largely positive. Ford laughed and said he liked her when she stated that his six fingered handshake was one finger friendlier than normal.

The Last Mabelcorn being the episode where Ford interacted with Mabel the most gives a big insight into how he feels about her. First, he agreed with Mabel when she stated she was probably the most pure of heart in the room (i forget the exact phrasing but same difference). He trusted her with the unicorn mission, even knowing that the unicorns were difficult. And last of all, he directly tells her that she is a good person without even knowing the struggle she went through with her morality moments prior.

Dipper and Mabel vs The Future is contentious in this regard, fans often using it as proof that Ford doesn't care about Mabel just because he asked Dipper to stay in Gravity Falls. But honestly, Ford cared enough to observe Mabel's social skills with the pizza delivery guy, plus probably witnessing plenty of instances of Mabel handling herself without Dipper's help. He genuinely believed that Mabel could handle being without her brother outside of the summers.

Plus, it isn't like Mabel was forthright about her feelings about leaving Gravity Falls and growing up until she blew up at the end of the episode. Obviously there are things to be said about Ford taking Dipper on as an apprenticeship being a good or a bad idea depending on who you ask, but Ford didn't know how badly Mabel would take it. He thought he was doing Dipper a favor by giving him a head start on his studies and, as I previously mentioned, that Mabel would be fine at home. That the two could reach a compromise if needed.

Ford isn't perfect though, he does tend to project himself onto Dipper after finding out how similar he thinks he is to him. That might've affected how often he spends with either twin or how he saw their bond, but to say that he doesn't care about Mabel at all is simply misguided. He cares about them both so much. His traumatic experience with his own twin just tainted how he saw the twins' bond being something that could be potentially suffocating. He does sorta have a point though, Dipper and Mabel can't force each other to stay glued at the hip forever or it could potentially stifle their individual dreams if handled badly. But that's just my 'controversial' opinion right there i guess, so take it with a grain of salt if you wish.

And besides, if we were gonna get upset at Ford for favoring Dipper over Mabel, you might as well also get upset at Stan for favoring Mabel over Dipper in some honestly worse ways than Ford ever did to Mabel. Stan literally projected his father's abusive ways onto Dipper and justified being hard on him with 'toughening him up'. Not to mention how he made Dipper the butt of his jokes so often it drove Dipper to seek out time with Ford over him because Ford never made fun of him like that. Obviously Stan does care about Dipper too, but the double standards in this fandom when it comes to how the grunkles treat the twins is honestly flabbergasting. Neither grunkle is perfect in how they handle the twins, neither are 'better' in their methods, and I think that's the point.

it doesn't help that Ford doesn't get a lot of screentime compared to Stan, as i'm sure you're already aware.

anyway, if you have any more questions, feel free to let me know. hope this was a good insight into all this Ford and Mabel business.

#AskJacky #analysis #gravity falls #ford pines #stanford pines #grunkle ford #ford and mabel #mabel pines #dipper pines #stan pines #< didn't mention him much but it still counts #i hope this is reasonably accurate #i feel like it is #but sometimes i fail to realize something and it all flops lol

[gaybananabread]

hii! for the tickletober prompts, how about lee dipper with day 12? like the ler (they can be whoever you see fit!) knows/discovers he is really weak to them so they get him. hope you're doing well!

TickleTober Day 12 - Nibbles/Bites

Thank you! I had a helluva time picking a ler for this, but I think Stan fits best. I need to write for him more anyways. This idea ironically happened less than 10 minutes after I finally chose Stan. My brain is weird like that (TvT). I hope you have a fun spooky season, Enjoy!

Lee: Dipper

Ler: Stan

Summary: Dipper is stressing out over the summer spooky season. Stan decides he needs a visit from a special kind of monster.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don't like that, scroll away!!

Once again, the Gravity Falls Summerween store opened its doors. The odd tradition began again for the year, residents joyful as they picked out candies and decided on costumes. Well, every resident but one.

A certain brown-haired, blue-hatted tween was sitting in the Mystery Shack gift shop, biting at his fingers. Ever since the whole "Summerween Trickster" fiasco, Dipper had been wary of the town's strange holiday. He would never forget the scene of Soos eating that thing…ugh.

Stan was taking inventory, making sure nobody had nicked any of his moderately overpriced merchandise. His eyes eventually drifted over to his worrisome great-nephew. That kid would worry himself into the ground if Stan let him…

"Hey picks-a-lot, those cuticles taste good?" He walked over to the teen, flicking the bill of his hat. The older man didn't mean anything malicious by it. He's just unapologetically mean sometimes. Dipper was used to his Grunkle's antics, brushing the comment off.

Dipper tucked his hands in his jacket, looking down at the register. "Sorry Stan. Just thinking about…stuff." He hadn't realized he'd been biting his fingers again. It was an old habit, one he wasn't keen on picking back up. Yet there it was.

The uneasy expression on his face was barely hidden. Stan didn't really know what to do about the kid's nerves. Normally, he'd sick Mabel on him. The tween was out with Candy and Grenda, so that wasn't an option. What to do, what to do…

"Uh…look kid. You want the rest of your shift off? I've got the shop covered, and you look pretty dead." He gave it to the kid straight. Dipper looked like he was one loud noise away from snapping, his fraying nerves and general high-strung mindset on overdrive. Stan could handle the almost empty gift shop, Tuesdays were always slow.

Dipper nodded, hopping off the creaky cashier stool stool. "Yeah, please. Thanks, Grunkle Stan." He lumbered up the steps to the attic, gently closing the door to his shared room behind him.

What was Stan gonna do with that kid?

-

The next few days weren't any better. With the rapidly approaching local holiday, Dipper's nerves only grew. Mabel didn't really notice, too enamored by costume ideas and trying to figure out Waddles's measurements.

He didn't really know the absolute cause of his worry. Was it the chance of Mabel getting hurt? The possibility of another garbage candy monster? The fact that he still can't unsee Soos eating his way out of the monster? All are good guesses. He just wished he could pinpoint which one it was.

His antsy demeanor hadn't gone unnoticed by the other Mystery Shack residents. Soos had tried to get him to play some arcade games at the mall, but he just wasn't up for it. Wendy had little to no luck, her attempts to get him to loosen up going nowhere. It was up to Stan…and he had no idea what to do.

He had tried things that worked before, offering him an extra break and listening to his rants about the Journals. Dipper just wasn't up for infodumping at the moment, and he just got lost in thought on his breaks. On the morning of SummerWeen, Stan finally threw in the towel. He did the only thing he had left; asking Mabel what to do.

-

When he opened the door, Stan was met with Mabel trying to put a superhero suit on Waddles. She was dressed in similar attire, her cape dragging behind her. "Oh, hey Grunkle Stan! You come to see the best heros this side of the Falls kick some butt?"

Stan chuckled, shaking his head. He felt a bit bad for the pig, he doubted those tights were comfortable. Better Waddles than him, though. "Nah, I'll be quick. What should I do to get your brother to loosen up? Kid's been freakin' all week."

Mabel's eyes widened as he said this, her brain quickly piecing together the signs she hadn't noticed. "Crud…he has been anxious." She fidgeted with her hair, giving the pig a moment to nibble on his cape. "I normally talk him down, but if that hasn't worked…maybe make him laugh?"

Stan sighed as she said this. He considered himself a pretty funny guy, but his humor normally made Dipper groan or question his existence. Not the best for making Dipper laugh, though it always gets a chuckle out of himself

His thoughts wandered to the times he had made the kid snicker, landing on a few well-timed zings and one-liners. The last was when he had been messing around with Dipper in the gift shop. He poked his great-nephew's side, and he squealed. He hadn't done anything then, but now? Oh, it's perfect.

"Hey Mabel…your dorky brother is stupid ticklish, right?" She nodded, a smile slowly forming on her face as she figured out her Grunkle's intentions. Waddles nudged her arm, showing off the lovely slobber stain in his cape fabric. "Silly guy, now I gotta redo your cape! Grunkle Stan, do you think you can get Dipper to be less Dipper-ish by 6:30? Our costumes this year are super, heheh"

Stan rolled his eyes, his mischievous mind racing with ideas of how to get Dipper back to normal. Well, as normal as the tween gets. "Yeah, alright. If you hear girlish screaming, cheer me on." He shut the door behind him, leaving his grand-niece to her silliness. That kid never fails to make him smile.

-

Dipper was in the living room, a costume hung on the chair in front of him. Mabel's costume idea that summer was super heros, with him being the villain. It was actually kinda cool, with the utility belt of fake gadgets he and Mabel had put together. The only problem was him.

He was worried about putting the costume on. First off, it would mean going out and trick-or-treating with Mabel. Nothing's wrong with it, his brain was just telling him it's childish. There's also the fact that he's worried the Trickster might come back. Black licorice was bad enough before, but now he can't look at a stick without getting shivers. They very easily could've died.

Stan was creeping in the doorway, watching the tween's inner dilemma. If he wanted to be mean, he could've scared the crap out of him. But, showing a shocking amount of restraint, he knocked on the doorway. Stan walked over to him, ruffling the boy's hair. "Anybody home up there?"

Dipper, successfully snapped out of his daze, swatted at his Grunkle's hand. "Stan! Knock it off!" The older man chuckled, pulling his hand away and smirking down at the tween. That look…he knew that look. The look that meant Grunkle Stan was up to absolutely no good. "Stan…?"

He barely gave Dipper time to think before he snatched his great-nephew in his arms. It killed Stan's back, but it was worth it to hear the shocked yelp and protests from the kid. "Put me down! Stan- get off! Mabel!"

Stan flopped down in his recliner, holding Dipper in his lap. No help was coming for the boy. Mabel was in on it, as he quickly learned, and nobody else was at the Shack. It was just him, Stan, and the evil look on the older man's face as he wiggled his fingers. Crud.

"You worry too much, kid. You're gonna have more grays than me, and I put up with all'a you!" Those wiggling fingers were getting a bit too close to his stomach for comfort. Dipper squirmed, but with the way Stan held him, he was trapped. "Always thinkin' about these monsters and crazy creature things. You're so stuck in yer head, you didn't even notice the monster right in front of ya…"

He tazed Dipper's side, making him squeak at the unexpected touch. "Stahan, wait, plehehease-" He was so unbelievably screwed. "The TICKLE MONSTER!" Stan finally put his wiggling fingers on the boy's stomach, clawing and digging into the ticklish area.

Dipper squealed, shoving at his Grunkle's hands and writhing in his lap. His negative and anxious thoughts quickly faded to fuzzy, ticklish surprise. He hadn't expected this from Stan of all people. Mabel, absolutely, but Stan? He didn't really know how to react. "STAHAHAN! WHAHAHAT ARE YOUHU DOHOIHING?!"

"What's it feel like I'm doing, ya goofus? I'm tickling the snot outta ya. Now hold still." He spidered his fingers across his belly, making sure to get a few scratches in his belly button. "GEHEHET OFF! GRUHUNKLE STAHAHAN!"

Dipper kicked his legs, wishing the recliner was bigger. He barely had any room on Stan's lap, his legs nearly hanging off the armrest. Stan had him positioned so that his midsection was almost unprotectable, his arms practically pinned to his sides.

The tickling, as unexpected as it was, wasn't awful. He'd never tell the old man, but he was having a bit of fun. It was nice to let loose, to let his worrisome thoughts melt into giggles and squeaks.

The boy's laughter was, in Stan's eyes, adorable. It was nice to see the nervous kid laugh like that. Thinking of the night to come, he imagined the kids' costumes and candy-grab ideas. Candy...an evil idea bloomed in his mind. An evil, ticklish, awful idea. "I'm getting pretty hungry, Dipper. Might just have a quick snack…" He pulled up Dipper's shirt, waiting for the teen to catch on.

And catch on he did.

"Stahahan- Stan don't! Nonononoho!" Dipper's eyes went wide when he figured out Stan's plan. There's no way he could handle those. The tween desperately tried to get away, kicking out and trying to grab his Grunkle's hands.

His Grunkle easily pinned Dipper's hands, smirking down at him. It was almost too easy. Stan lowered his head, nibbling on his great-nephew's poor belly.

Dipper shrieked.

"NAHAHAHA! GRUHUNKLE STAHAHA- STAHAHAP!" He tossed his head back, kicking and thrashing under the ticklish nibbles. Stan's old man stubble wasn't helping. The scratchy texture made it so much worse.

Stan was enjoying himself. Hearing the kid's laughter reminded him of the stupid things he and his brother would do as kids, the fun they'd have. Before it all went south, they'd do this all the time. The best part was that he knew Dipper didn't mind it.

Just to be a jerk, he started making little "nom" noises as he nibbled the boy's stomach. Dipper twisted and shoved at his head, but Stan wouldn't budge. The tween resisted the urge to hit at Stan's head, instead gripping his silver hair. He didn't tug, but just grabbed on, needing something to do with his hands.

The nibbles traveled across his midsection, going from his stomach to his ribs, then back down to his belly button. Dipper was in stitches, the simple action reducing him to a cackling mess. He could barely think, his mind reeling at the assault on his nervous system. It wasn't bad, but it was mean.

Dipper managed to last for another two minutes before reaching his limit. The boy's laughter had taken on a breathy edge, his thrashing slowed with exhaustion. He patted the top of his Grunkle's head, tapping out.

Just like that, the torturous sensations stopped. Stan chuckled, raising his head and rubbing his great-nephew's midsection to try and ease the phantom tickles. Dipper curled into himself as he giggled out the leftover buzz. "Youhuhu…you suhuck…"

That got him a poke to the side. "Watch it, giggles." And Dipper, not having much of a choice, giggled. Stan let him go with a knowing smirk. The tween quickly slid off his lap, rubbing his sides. The clock read 5:30, just in time for him to get ready. "Your sister wants you dressed in an hour. Don't be late."

He left the room, leaving Dipper alone with his costume. Stan knew it wasn't a permanent fix. The boy was always stressing about something. He just hoped that the playful moment eased his worries for the night. Those kids deserve a good night.

The tween looked over at the suit, a small smile still on his face. The negative thoughts from before were gone, replaced with a light and happy feeling. He picked up the dark fabric, sliding the mask on over his red face. Maybe the night wouldn't be so bad after all…

#day 12 #gf tickle #lee!dipper #ticklish!dipper #ler!stan #ler!stanley #augtickletober2022 #sfw tickling community #tickle fic #tickle #gravity falls tickle #gravity falls #gf dipper #gf stanley #stanley pines #gravity falls fic

[rahhhrahhrahhh]

Okay, I don't know if it will spark or not your creativity but if not don't worry, I got PLENTY of inspiration, first of all I'm an idia stan so you can expect a lot of idia and platonic ortho with me x)

So could I please ask for idia with a gn or fem s/o, whatever you wish, and his s/o never understood why blot is considered dangerous as they/she was raised by a blot entity that took a liking to them/her (and of course the blot had some brain left) and plot twist being so exposed to blot made them/her a chimeria half human half blot ! (Ortho is shown to be able to sense blot so maybe ortho was curious why they/she had such an high level of constant blot without overblotting) bonus point if /!\ chapter 6 and 7 spoiler /!\ idia bring her to styx and somehow get found out by his parents and have to explain why does he date a chimeria half blot, and how they/she are so polite

Maybe I ranted a bit too much or went too specific so feel free to cut off some parts x)

im going to name you blue blorbo or idia anon from now on

[ Went completely off chart so I'm so sorry if this isn't what you wanted!]

Tw: none that I can think of, just fluff!

Blot-chimera!reader x Idia shroud

✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ┄•͙

You met Idia when you were fairly young, outside of his family's estate. You were playing in the forest nearby and he heard your cheerful laughter. Leaving his stuffed toys on the front lawn and out the gates, he ventured through the trees. Ortho was inside taking a nap so he was on his own, with only the sunlight guiding him.

But then

He saw you.

you looked so sweet, dancing around a small clearing in the woods. He didn't notice the blot monster lurking nearby, focusing only on you and how your laughter rung in his ears.

You heard a twig snap and gasped, finally noticing the blue haired boy. You looked at him curiously, not very spooked as to see he was a child, like you! You smiled and waved, walking over to him.

He took a step back, and you a step forward. Back, forward, back, forward, back until you had his back against a tree. You leaned in closely to admire him, his breath hitched.

"hi! My name's (name)! What's yours?"

You said, taking his hand in yours and shaking it. It took him a moment to process what was going on.

"uhm.. idia.." he replied quietly. You giggled and led him back to the small clearing "nice too meet you Idia! Would you like to play with me?"

"..sure.."

And thats were your friendship started

He'd often come over for play dates and the like, back before Ortho had the incident. His parents often wondering where he was going but didn't stop him. knowing the forest was safe and it was nearby, plus they had the tracking chip and his cellphone Incase he needed them.

But he did eventually Introduce you to his family, and boy were his parents surprised. They were wary of you at first but slowly warmed up, seeing you had no Ill intent but you did seem different from most kids.. you seemed sweet although, where were your parents?

Ortho loved you right away! He'd follow you and Idia everywhere! Playing, laughing, and laying on the grass admiring the stars.

You were there for him through everything, comforting him, giving him advice and listened to his woes.

You were his saviour, his safe space, never questioning why your blood was darker than most, unnaturally so. Your skin seeming sickly in a way. Or that strange feeling of dread he'd get when you came too close.

Eventually, he had to leave for nrc. You were upset ofcourse but you wanted him to be successful, promising him you'd be here when he came back.

And through those 4 years, you'd wait for him. The first to greet him when he'd come back from Winter break or summer vacation. The first to take him into your arms and tell him how much you missed him. The first person he'd rant to about the year.

But now he knew why he always felt strange when you'd get too close. Why you seemed different.. no, are different... He'd seen it in his fellow schoolmates.

You weren't fully human.. were you, sweetheart?

When he confronted you, you didn't know how to respond. Knowing you couldn't hide it forever but at the same time afraid of losing the one you held close. blurting it all out through tears, he finally pieced everything together. Getting the closure he needed after all these years

he held you close, shaky hands hesitantly petting your head. Now you were the one needing to be comforted. Telling him about how your parents dissapeared one night and were left all alone in your cabin in the woods, until a blot monster found you. Taking you in and raising you as its own, having been exposed to it for so many years it wasn't a surprise that it tainted your human genetics.

You cried about how you never went to a school, or a doctor, never having been let far from the forest. He nodded and squeezes you softly, calming down a bit as the only noises leaving your lips now we're hiccups and sniffling.

You were something completely different from him. A new interspecies that should be examined, something incredibly rare. But he didn't have the heart to do that to you. You were far too special, you needed to be protected.

"I promise.. to keep you s-safe and warm.. for the rest of our lives.. I've loved you for so long, (name)-chan.. I want to be with you.. s-so please accept my love..?"

His voice surprised you, looking up at him with wife curious eyes.

He said it so unsurely, you couldn't help but smile and nod your head. Burying your face into his chest, while he finally noticed the blot creature watching you both. It nodded it's head in approval and dissapeared into the dark. The dread was gone, Being replaced with happiness and relief. He picked you up and hurriedly took you into his family's mansion. Laughing loudly.

He was glad he was brave the day he met you, wandering away from his comfort zone. Otherwise, he doubted he'd have someone so perfect in his arms

[NOT PROOFREAD AND IS UNEDITED. I WILL REVIEW LATER!]

Tags: @twistedtavern

#idia x reader #idia shroud #idia twisted wonderland #idia twst #twisted wonderland idia #X reader #Fluff #Fem!reader #Blot! Reader #Twisted wonderland #Twisted wonderland x reader #Ortho shroud #Twst #Fanfic

[resowrites]

Hot Seat - oneshot.

Summary: Henry is interviewed about life post-The Witcher…

Characters: AU!Henry Cavill, Wife!OC, Interviewer

Warnings: fluff, banter/British humour, nondescript OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 2817

A/N: This is something a bit different so I hope you all enjoy. Not that I should have to point it out but as with all my work, it’s pure fiction (as in completely made up) and not in any way meant to reflect reality. As ever, let me know your thoughts - R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Hot Seat - oneshot.

My first thought upon starting my interview with Henry Cavill is that I must have got my lines crossed. Instead of the 39-year-old Jersey-born actor, the featureless wall on the screen in front of reveals a woman. She quickly introduces herself and apologises for his absence. "Our puppy got into a multipack of toilet rolls and is still wreaking havoc, but he'll be right with you." This, as it turns out, is his partner Ollie. The 33-year-old financial advisor (she politely asks me not to give her full name as apparently "the people who care already know it"), has been with the actor for the better part of a decade though it's seldom publicised. They're occasionally pictured together but Henry, known for being one of the more private Hollywood actors, has given away few details about the relationship.

This, however, doesn't stop her from graciously chatting with me while we await his arrival. Having a son with her name, I ask if it's short for something else. "No, just Ollie. My parents were fans of Laurel and Hardy," she says with a shrug. So she's not actually Olivia? "Nope, though I suppose it could have been worse, they could have called me Stan," she replies drily. I tell her my wife and I are expecting a girl in the summer. "Oh how lovely - don't give her a boy's name." Duly noted. I then ask after Kal, Henry's longtime canine companion, and she assures me he's still alive and kicking. So what prompted the puppy? "Anniversary gift," she says between sips of water, though she doesn't give a name or clarify who gifted who. Moving on, I ask if she has any tips for interviewing Henry. "Talk slowly," comes her immediate response. It's not difficult to see how he fell for her, big twinkly eyes and a throaty laugh betray a quick wit that's similar to his own. I venture to ask what it's like being in a relationship with him. "Agonising. I mean his looks alone, I'm at a loss," she deadpans before another laugh. And the fame? "Honestly, it's not something I really think about. Our day-to-day life is very normal."

As if on cue, Henry enters the room with a large and very fluffy puppy trying to wriggle free of his arms. His eyes flash briefly with concern but she gives him a reassuring smile, thanks me for my patience, and wishes me well. She then pats Henry on the chest, tells him to behave himself, and disappears with the puppy in tow. The screen now fills with his impressive frame though his demeanour is infinitely milder - if slightly harried. "My apologies John. Akita's - can't live with them, can't live without them." Much has been made of the peaks and troughs of his Hollywood career. At one point in the early aughts, he'd missed out on multiple high-profile roles (Henry Cavill: Hollywood's unluckiest actor?) Finally bagging Superman in 2013 with Zack Snyder's Man of Steel, he proved capable of big returns and even bigger popularity (Henry Cavill: Superman for a new generation).

In 2013's Man of Steel (image credit: Warner Bros.)

This makes news of his recent departure from both Netflix's The Witcher (ostensibly because of creative differences), and DC's Superman franchise (due to the recent hiring of James Gunn as the studio's creative leader), all the more stupefying. But whether or not he really is Hollywood's 'unluckiest' actor, this isn't a term that reflects his life outside of the job, something which definitely marks him out from his contemporaries. In addition to a much-protected relationship (neither he nor his publicist confirms the status of it despite appearing to wear a wedding ring), he hails from a loving family and has a close-knit group of friends. He withdrew from a recent project (for reasons unrelated to the project itself), but is now in talks to appear in and produce an adaptation of Warhammer 40, 000 after Amazon recently secured the rights to the popular tabletop game.

In 2019's The Witcher (image credit: Netflix)

It's actually not the first time I've met Henry. Our paths once crossed some years ago in a hotel lobby though this brief encounter was part of a jam-packed press tour. Today's meeting isn't scheduled for a considerably longer time, but there's more than enough to discuss. A colleague did however warn me that despite a more ingenuous nature, he can make for a difficult interviewee. For the first part of our interview, I would be inclined to agree. Though pleasant, his answers border on glib and this is perhaps unsurprising given the recent twists and turns of his career. Happily, he warms up as our fourty minutes go by and on this occasion, is more revealing about life away from the cameras…

J: First thing's first, are you watching the Six Nations (an annual international men's rugby union competition)?

H: Yeah, it's been dismal though (England won just two out of five matches)… doesn't bode well for the World Cup does it?

J: No it doesn't. Now I know you can't say much at the moment about more recent as well as upcoming projects, but I wanted to get your take on the development of IPs for modern audiences. More than ever it seems a rather precarious business…

H: I think that's a fair assessment. There's lots of competition and only a finite amount of resources, so balancing what audiences want against the financial gains is tricky.

J: So what's the solution?

H: Are you trying to get me into trouble (laughs)? It depends. I mean, you can experiment a bit more with big projects. But for niche ventures, I think it's probably better to lean on the source material and fanbases already there.

J: But do you think there's a general fatigue with certain genres at the moment?

H: Perhaps, but that's why it's all the more important to look at the project as a whole. More often than not, if a project sinks it's on the project, not the audience.

J: Surely events such as the pandemic have had a huge impact though?

H: Yeah, definitely. But I don't think it's that difficult to produce big and/or successful entertainment because if anything, the need has never been stronger. It may just require studios to slow down a bit and think harder about each stage of development.

J: Do you feel more at peace with your career these days?

H: I would say so. I mean it's not an industry you ever feel secure in because that's not really the nature of it. But I still feel the same rush and excitement. I think there's a tendency to forget that actors act for the same reason people enjoy consuming our work. We like to escape and have fun as well.

J: What has it taught you about yourself?

H: Well for one it's bettered my patience (laughs). There's also nothing like acting to improve your physique (laughs).

J: Do you still feel the same pressures to look and perform a certain way?

H: I mean to an extent it's just the expectation and I completely respect that - if you're spending millions bringing, say, Superman to life, whoever plays him must at the very least, look like him.

J: And what are your thoughts now that that franchise will be moving ahead without you?

H: Well, for one, I'm not as devastated as everyone seems to think (laughs). I had a blast making those films and I was looking forward to expanding on what was created but the workouts were something else. As were the press tours (laugh).

J: Would you say that's one of the biggest drawbacks now for actors?

H: I suppose. I mean who honestly wants to be hooked up to a lie detector and asked leading questions (laughs)? I find it a bit unfair at times. I'm not suggesting for one minute that actors aren't immensely lucky or privileged. Of course, what we do is comparatively easy. But the amount of exposure will always be a double-edged sword, no question.

J: You've said in the past you're not a huge fan of social media, do you think it's essential to what you do?

H: Perhaps not essential but it's undeniably very useful. And I have no issue in sharing parts of my life with those who find it interesting. But I also don’t see the harm in a bit of mystery, there's no need to upload and share absolutely everything.

J: More male stars are speaking up about the double standards in how they're treated by fans and the wider public. Are those sentiments you share?

H: Yes and no. I mean most of the time it's harmless and of course very flattering, but I think it's always best to put others at ease rather than risk making them uncomfortable. Of course, everyone has different ideas on how to do that (laughs) but as the old saying goes, do unto others…

J: I imagine it's different when that attention is also directed at those closest to you?

H: Oh absolutely. My friends and family didn't sign up for that but luckily they're good-natured about it.

J: It seems the lines are becoming more and more blurred though…

H: Yeah, and that's a shame. But it's also why you need to be prudent about how much of it you elicit and engage in.

J: But do you take issue with the amount of gossip? I imagine it's hard knowing it's out there when there's not much you can do about it.

H: I try and look for the silver linings, I mean if people are that invested it means you at least have some relevance still. Besides, I have a very happy, successful life outside of what I do and that makes all the difference.

J: I am curious to know how you've managed to make that work…

H: Well I don't want to give the impression that it's easy because it's not. Spending so much time away from the people you love is easily the worst thing about this job and it's something I'm always trying to improve.

J: You're also approaching 40, has that caused you to stop and take stock?

H: Thanks for the reminder (laughs). Nah I'm in a good place about it actually. Well, for now… (laughs).

J: Are there any roles, in particular, you still wish to play?

H: Not really. I think most people see me as an action star and I'm happy to remain so. It seems to be what I excel at though I've also enjoyed branching out into more comedic roles. More of those would be nice.

J: So you've no burning desires for the future? What about regrets?

H: I wouldn't say that (laughs). There's some stuff I've yet to get around to, as for regrets I've very few.

J: Such as?

H: Well, some of the films I've made for starters (laughs). Although that's not really fair as there's always something to take away from those experiences.

J: What about personally?

H: Um (pauses), nothing springs to mind. I wish I'd met my better half a lot sooner. But we've been together for over seven years so I can't complain.

J: If I remember rightly you'd just started seeing each other the last time we spoke.

H: That's right! God, where's the time gone?

J: How were the lockdowns for you both?

H: You know, as scary and traumatic as that time was, I can honestly say it reaffirmed to me that I'd made the right choices.

J: Did she feel similarly?

H: Perhaps not at first (laughs).

J: You certainly seem to share the same sense of humour. You know she introduced herself as the maid?

H: (Looks around) I hope you didn't fall for it… (laughs). And she's far more warped, trust me. She's just better at hiding it (laughs).

J: Care to give some examples?

H: Oh God, where do I start (laughs)? To be honest I'm not sure I can without making her look completely mad… though that wouldn't be an unfair assessment (laughs) (slight pause). She's a nightmare to text. Her idea of messaging me usually involves repeating a word until I manage to guess what on earth she's on about (laughs). I was in London a few days back and I messaged her asking how her morning had gone and she just kept responding with the word 'log' (laughs). So there I was, in a meeting with my business manager, trying to figure out at the back of my mind what she meant. Did she want to log a complaint (laughs)? Was I supposed to bring home a chocolate log? Did we need more firewood (laughs)? Turns out she'd just tripped over one while walking the dogs. See? Mad (grins).

J: My wife's like that but with GIFs.

H: Yeah, I get those less often but to maximum effect (laughs). Like I remember when I was getting fitted for the suits I wore in The Man from Uncle. I sent her a picture of my favourite and she immediately winged back a gif of Sterling Archer (from FX's 2009 animated sitcom Archer) (laughs).

J: Is she indifferent to what you do?

H: It's not that she's indifferent, she's just not taken in by it and thank God because it helps keep me sane.

J: So she likes to keep you on your toes?

H: Oh yeah, our life's never dull (laugh). The last time I was away filming, I'd stupidly warned her beforehand not to go anywhere near this rare Warhammer figurine that a friend sent me. So cue the photos of it in the dust container of the Dyson, at the edge of Kal's food bowl as his face was in it… she even sent me one of it in the washing machine just as it was filling up with water. That one warranted a phone call (laughs).

J: Oh dear. Did it survive?

H: Annoyingly it was absolutely fine… she's done worse (laughs).

J: Such as?

H: Er, well there was the time I was in New Zealand shooting the helicopter sequence for Mission Impossible: Fallout. I've talked about it before so I'm not going to rehash it but the conditions were extreme so everyone was pretty miserable. What made it worse was that a few weeks before, she'd broken her hand - the story of how she did that is actually funnier than the one I'm about to tell—

J: What happened?

H: … No, I can't say. She'd kill me (laughs). Anyway, being halfway across the world I couldn't get back to her and was in a bit of a state about it. So to cheer me up, one afternoon she sends me a video of her at the physio's office and in it (laughs)… she's wearing one of those old-fashioned prosthetic split hooks (laughs). What's amazing is how she somehow managed to rope the physio in, like as soon as he comes into the room she puts her phone down so as not to film him (laughs).

J: Where on earth did she get a split hook?

H: I know right? She told me Etsy but God knows… apparently the physio provided the arm it was attached to (laughs). So there I was, suspended above the Southern Alps, laughing the hardest I've ever laughed in my life.

J: Did you show it to Tom Cruise?

H: Oh yeah.

J: And what did he say?

H: She's a keeper (laughs). I'd play it for you but it got deleted when I changed phones a little while back.

J: Well, that's disappointing. What happened to the hook?

H: When I finally came home we had some champagne to celebrate and when I went to the drawer, I found she'd chucked it in there with the bottle openers (laughs).

J: Are there any more stories you can share?

H: Yeah, but I think I've said enough (laughs).

J: What makes the two of you such a good match do you think?

H: She's got a long fuse which certainly helps (laughs). We were just meant for each other (shrugs).

J: Did it feel that way quite early on? I know it did with my wife.

H: Oh yeah, almost instantly. When you know, you know.

A week after we meet I receive a gift at the office - a box of homemade cookies (which are heavenly) and a beautiful baby blanket. Accompanied is a note which first apologises for the gift's tardiness 'Henry ate the first batch,' thanks me for a good interview and then encourages some skepticism of the tales told as 'they're only mostly true.' Either way, I concede that he is indeed a lucky man.

Enola Holmes 2 is on Netflix.

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

@elizabetharegina @fanfictionaddiction99 @luclittlepond @caffeinatedfestivalsheep @summersong69 @ushijimbo

#henry cavill #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill imagine

[bwabys-scenarios]

Hi hi it’s your favorite sleepy fic advisor/Kurapika stan!!! I’m playing hooky to go to the lake today fuck a minimum wage job in a capitalistic hell world heehoo

What do you think Kurapika’s love language(s) is/are? He’s a thoughtful dude, so I feel like gift giving is his time to shine, but at the same time acts of service when you’re overworking yourself- ugh he’s such a sweetheart lich rally the perfect man 😫💗

My own bf just snagged me a record player at a garage sale yesterday after years of having his own record collection and begging me to start one as well. The first thing I did was order Hozier’s new album. I could see Kurapika doing something similar, especially with how they both share an mbti type :’) cozy nights spent listening to vinyl music. He gets a gift that you’d love, not expect, and could enjoy for a long time together. He checks off the Perfect Gift Trifecta every time.

I’m all over the place here, it’s earlier than I normally wake up and my ADHD meds haven’t quite kicked in yet I apologize. Brainstorming with you and helping on Fixer Upper has been the highlight of my summer, seeing ideas we collaborate on come to life in real time is just *chefs kiss*

I gotta pack my bags now before I go but just thought I’d drop in here, pet the cats for me and hang in there, the weather will cool down soon enough!

-K.A.

How Kurapika shows his love:

Acts of service

Kurapika hasn’t always been there for you when you really needed him, meaning now that he is, he would do next to anything for you. He’ll run to the store to grab your favorite snacks when you aren’t feeling well, gently massages all your sore spots, accompanies you on shopping trips.

He wants to do things for you, even if it’s as simple as opening a jar of pickles, he feels so in love when he’s able to do little things that are of service to you.

Gift Giving

Kurapika is a gift giver, through and through. He has trouble holding himself back from buying every little thing that reminds him of you. That keychain with your favorite character on it, those shoes that would go nice with your favorite dress, and flowers of all kinds.

He also enjoys making you gifts, mostly consisting of clothing. He’s really good at sewing, and you taught him to knit, so he’s always making you new dresses that fit you perfectly. He’s weak for a good sundress, and when you’re wearing something he made you it’s hard for him to keep his hands to himself.

Words of Affirmation

Kurapika wants you to know how much he adores you, so compliments and little words of adoration are commonplace in your shared home.

It’s like he can’t go one second without telling you how amazing you are, and how in love with you he is. You’re his angel, his princess, the love of his life. He’ll plant kisses on your neck as he coos about how beautiful you are.

What he wants from his partner:

Physical Touch

As I’ve said before, Kurapika is TOUCH STARVED!! Before you, he hadn’t been held by another person since he was a child, so once he gets a taste of your touch he craves it.

His favorite thing is to lay his head in your lap, face buried in your tummy as you run your fingers through his hair. Kurapika could stay like this forever if you let him.

When he gets you pregnant, all he wants is to nuzzle against your baby bump, leaving kisses against your skin. He loves you so much!

He also enjoys just being held in your arms, with you rubbing soothing circles into his back. Kurapika can be a bit of a clinger once he gets comfortable around you, so he prepared!

Quality Time

Once Kurapika comes around to his feelings for you, all he wants is to spend more and more time with you. He needs you to hold him, to want to do fun things with HIM!

His favorite thing is when you have him sit at the kitchen table while you bake, feeding him bits of frosting or jam. He also likes cuddling up with you on the couch, watching some random movie. He enjoys accompanying anywhere you wish to go, as long as he gets to spend time with you he’s happy!

Words of Affirmation

It may not seem like it, but Kurapika is actually pretty insecure about his body. He struggles with believing you’re attracted to him, even if you’re always heating up when he’s around you.

Praise him, tell him how pretty and handsome he is. He needs to know you find him attractive. There are many other men in your life that he thinks look way better than him, so reassure him that he’s the only one for you. It makes him swoon!

#kurapika asks #x reader #anime x reader #headcanon #requests open #reader insert #hxh x reader #hxh imagines #kurapika hxh #kurapika headcanons #kurapika anon #kurapika hunter x hunter #kurapika x y/n #hxh kurapika #kurapika x reader #kurapika #hunter x hunter headcanons #hunter x hunter x reader #chubby reader #chubby!reader #anime x chubby reader #fem reader #female reader #fem!reader

[p1-f1]

Crush

Pairings: Jimmy Valmer x reader

Pronouns: They/them. GN

Warnings: None!

Notes: JIMMY HAS GAME???

Summary: You've crushed on Jimmy for a while, but have never admitted it.

Word Count: 1,170

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There he was. Standing in front of you, the short brown hair that shines in the sun perfectly, being ruffled by another hand. Those hazel eyes that you could get lost in forever, like an entire forest. That chiseled jawline, those perfect teeth, those slightly pink cheeks. The body that you just wished you'd see more often. But here we are, a week before school ends for summer, and you still haven't even talked to him.

Jimmy Valmer, your crush since 4th grade. Well, you both were now in 10th grade. About to be in 11th, and still have yet to confess. To be fair, you had many opportunities, you just never took them.

~Flashback~

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ.:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆*⋆.*:･ﾟ

"Hey, sweeth-h-h-heart.. "

"Oh! Hey Jimmy."

Feeling your cheeks heat up, you adjusted the scarf on your neck, covering your red nose.

"Have you s-s-seen C-Clyde?"

"Not recently, no."

"Well if you d-do, just tell me, beautiful."

The way your crush pretty much effortlessly said that sentence, made you swoon. Nobody ever thought less of Jimmy when he stuttered, or for the fact he used crutches, but when he did speak to someone with no issue, you did think it was hot as hell.

~End of flashback~

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ.:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆*⋆.*:･ﾟ

"-N. Y/N!"

Jumping out of your trance, you looked up at the pair of boys sitting in front of you.

"Kyle! Stan! Hey!"

"Hello, Y/N."

The warm smile the curly haired ginger gave made you smile too, his dimples and freckles could light up anyone's day, so of course it lit up yours.

Along with Kyle, there was his best friend, or, as everyone else saw it, crush. Stan had bleached his hair, but along with bleaching it, he never washed it. Thank the gods of South Park for that ugly blue beanie he wears.

"Hey, Babe!"

Stan did his stupid giggle, closing his eyes as he puckers his lips towards you. Everyone had their friend group wife or husband, and yours, was Stan. (Even though we all know Stan is Kyle's)

"There's my favorite husband."

You did your stupid giggle as well, leaning in so your lips almost touched,but didn't, seeing the twitch in Kyle's eye.

"Ahem."

The two of you snapped your heads to Kyle, backing away from each other, as the ginger pushed his glasses up.

"We heard that Jimmy wants to talk to you after school, Y/N. Isn't that nice?"

"Really!?"

Like a puppy, your eyes lit up at the sound of Jimmy's name.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ.:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆*⋆.*:･ﾟ

Clyde's hand ran through his hair, smoothing out his brown locks, seeing as Jimmy struggled to do it himself.

"Th-th-thanks, Man."

He responded, acting like he hadn't been staring at the best looking person in South Park High. From their lips, to their hair, to their body, and even their laugh. They were perfect.

"Course, Bro."

"Dude, stop staring!"

Tolkien's voice filled his ears, as the teen slapped his shoulder lightly, laughing at the brown hairs problem.

"Tolkien, I c-c-can't! They're literally puh-perfect."

"And you haven't asked them out why?"

Jimmy deadpanned Clyde.

"Y know what? F-f-fuck it. I've been crushing for way too lo-lo-ng!"

He waved his hand to Craig, who then waved to Tweek, who couldn't keep his mouth shut, spewing to Kenny, and of course, Kenny told Stan which turned into Kyle knowing. Whatever you tell someone, it always makes its way around.

Jimmy watches as you excitedly light up, hearing that he wants to talk to you, already knowing he'd have you by the end of the day. Sure it was cocky, but was he wrong? It wasn't like he was being an ass, if only you would glance at him. A smile so soft it could cushion a fall.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ.:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆*⋆.*:･ﾟ

The day was slow, as would a usual day in this hell of a school. The teachers didn't care about the students, so many fights it wasn't even entertaining, but annoying at most, and gossip spread so fast it could be named a disease.

Worst thing currently, usually the best thing, was Jimmy Valmer. You shared almost every class. Except for one, which you and Kyle in, so that was a nice break. Staring at him made your stomach turn. In a good way, but also a bad one.

You couldn't help but wonder if being with him was the best idea, I mean, you had only been with a few guys before. Along with one or two girls, but that doesn't matter right now.

Jimmy was a great guy, sure, but would it work out? You're a nice person, you're kind, help others, get good grades, and have good friends. Jimmy is almost the same. Nice, funny, kind, smart when he actually puts effort, and has pretty good friends.

They always say opposites attract. That was always your mindset. But what if you weren't opposites?

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ.:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆*⋆.*:･ﾟ

Your earbuds played your favorite song, as you sat outside, a notebook in hand, drawing some girl you saw that was drop dead gorgeous.

"Y/N?"

That voice. That voice that made you smile as soon as you heard it. The earbuds in your ears fell to your side, as you looked up at Jimmy.

"Hola,"

You started, giggling quietly as you moved your feet for the teen to sit in front of you. The current position leaning against the outside of the school, sitting on the low garden wall that was always filled with snow.

"What can I do for ya?"

"L-l-l-let m-m… "

Jimmy trailed off. It seemed being nervous really messed with his stuttering even more. He cleared his throat, chuckling as he set his crutches to the ground.

"L-Let.e t-t-take you out."

And before you knew it, your cheeks heated up, and your eyes widened.

"Pardon?"

"I know I st-st-stuttered, but I'll still say this, Did I stutter, d-d-dove?"

"Uh-"

He chuckled once more, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek, with a loving gaze to match the soft smile.

"Well?"

"I- uhm- uh, su- fuck, uh.. "

"I-i-ill take that as a y-y-yes."

You just nodded, watching as Jimmy pulled his hand away, resting at his lap.

"I've crushed on you for literal years, Jim."

And for once, you saw his adorable cheeks grow pink.

"Is that s-so?"

"Yep."

"Then I guess it's not a crush anymore. We're dating."

You chuckled as your ex crush said those words. No longer will you have to dream of giving the boy a kiss, because you're pretty sure in a few dates, it'll happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#pifi's asks #south park x reader #jimmy valmer x reader

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month - July 2023: AlwaysMyChoices

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @alwaysmychoices. We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: AlwaysMyChoices Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? May

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I started playing The Royal Romance in December 2017. I have no idea how I found the app, but I was obsessed with that story. My memories from this time are super vague -- I know there was a connection between Cordonia being based on Montenegro and Croatia (two countries I studied abroad in the next summer), a well-placed advertisement, and a Christmas vacation where I was snowed in with too much time on my hands.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the fandom in January 2018 because I desperately needed to talk about the Royal Romance. I didn’t have any friends who played (and was embarrassed to share), so I started off liking posts from my “real” account (which was a Sims account) and then made this as a “side blog.” Later, that Sims account got abandoned, which is why all of my likes come from a different Tumblr.

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

I had three criteria -- it needed to be (1) somewhat punny, (2) dramatic and angsty, and (3) tangentially related to the game. Though I was a Royal Romance stan, I wanted to give myself room for growth, so I didn’t name my account anything to do with the book. The name I really wanted was taken, so I settled for AlwaysMyChoices. But honestly, I love it now.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

My first post is expressing my disappointment that the Royal Romance’s Book 2 wasn’t angsty enough -- and that perfectly sums up my account. Four days later, I posted my first Choices fanfic.

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

13 years. I started writing in 2010 on Fanfiction.net for Percy Jackson. I was very, very young, and it shows in those initial works -- which is pretty ironic because this was the phase in my fanfiction career where I had the most success. I got millions of views on some of those stories, and they’re objectively terrible. After about six or seven years on that website, I went to college and ended up taking a hiatus. I wasn’t inspired to write anymore, which was pretty devastating at the time. Finding Choices brought back my passion for writing fanfiction.

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

Here’s the thing -- I love Open Heart, but The Royal Romance has to be the best. Are there flaws? Definitely. Did the series go off the rails? Eventually, yes. But TRR understood pining. It knew that the readers wanted tender moments with LIs, but they also wanted pain. We wanted tropes, but we didn’t want it to feel tired. We wanted incredible supporting cast members where even the tiniest background player was well-crafted and interesting (and the villain was iconic). We wanted growth and well-structured arcs, and surprising twists. Plus, the LIs checked all the boxes -- the prince bound by duty, the lover’s best friend, the supportive friend turned lover and the woman who had been through pain but always saw the best in people. I wish I could go back and relive that magic.

At the time, I loved writing about TRR, too, but I’ll admit that Ethan Ramsey was made for angsty fanfiction.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

My first fanfic for Choices was “Come to Bed.” This was when I still wrote in the first person, which feels like a lifetime ago. As for my thoughts, it’s fine. I wouldn’t do anything differently, but I also probably wouldn’t publish it. When it comes to my Choices fics, my biggest complaint is that they’re often too tied to a moment. I wrote them because I read a chapter in whatever book, felt overcome with emotion and inspiration, and put that into my word processor. They’re my reactions more than a story, and aside from a few angsty quotes or steamy scenes, I generally forget about them when the moment passes.

To be honest, I totally forgot about “Come to Bed.” I thought my first story was “Prove it,” a much steamier TRR story. 

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

A Weekend with Dr. Ramsey is my legacy in this fandom, and I’m happy with that. I’m proud of that series. But if it had to be a single fic, it’s either “Him” or “Never Had a Chance.” Both are pairings I don’t often write (Ethan x Tobias and MC x Drake, respectively), and both stories focus on these grand, explosive loves that burn up too quickly but eventually settle into comfortable, platonic admiration. It’s the kind of love that lingers long after the romance has died. 

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

I never expected my Ethan & F!MC "Calling to Say I’m Marrying Someone Else” headcanon to blow up. That was such a pleasant surprise, and I love it to this day. As this fandom has dwindled, engagement naturally decreased, but I have to admit I hoped for a bit more love on “You’re a Devil.” Sexy pining at a Halloween party? The color red symbolizes danger and decadence they can’t accept? I still think it’s great.

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Angst. I love reading fluff and smut, but I’m really in the zone when I’m writing angst. For me, that’s when characters become something bigger than an idea -- they’re growth and change and cathartic and tragic and triumphant. If I never wrote angst again, I don’t know how I’d ever find that feeling anywhere else.

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Oh yeah. My MCs are generally versions of me with some exaggerated character flaws -- pride for Collins, indecision, and stubbornness for Charlie. I’m not as messy as my MCs, but at my core, I think I want to be.

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Consistency. My issue has always been finding that inspiration and holding on to it. I’m very dependent on the “flow” of writing. When I’m in it, everything is easy -- the dialogue is effortless, the descriptions are perfect, and the pacing is impeccable. When I’m not in it, I’ll write the same thing over and over until I give up. I have a bad habit of letting inspiration come in all-consuming waves without any safety net of pacing or discipline. If I burn out or get distracted, it’s all over.

Oh, and length. Those stories are always way too long.

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Omg, yes, all of it. I need to finish With and Without, but I know I’ll be devastated when I do. Then, there are the dozens of notes on my phone, reminding me of all these new stories I’ve abandoned.

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

I am super weird about keeping my fanfic life separate from my real life. It is a barrier I very rarely break, but when I have broken it, I’ve run into the same problems -- because it’s fanfiction, I give no exposition. So, if you’re reading it without any fandom knowledge, you’re lost. With that in mind, I think I would give them a quick recap and then give them “A Weekend with Dr. Ramsey.” It would kill me to be that vulnerable, but I think it’s the best reflection of this account. 

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing? 

So many! Particularly in the fandom, I’ve learned from so many creators. Early on, I remember @boneandfur and @heauxplesslydevoted were such big TRR influences for me. So many amazing creators have deactivated -- even someone who taught me my entire bullet point format for HCs. Now, I’d say I’m pretty inspired by @jerzwriter, @terrm9, @utterlyinevitable, @the-pale-goddess, @mvalentine, and @queenbirbs. I’m definitely forgetting so many amazing people!

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

I would love to see A Weekend With Dr. Ramsey adapted into a mini-series with a devastating ending. 

17- Do you write original fiction? 

Yes, but not as often as I wish. Fanfiction has always been easier for me because I have somewhere to share it. Without that, I find I end up losing steam and forgetting about it. I do, however, have a phone full of story ideas, and one day, I’m determined to do them justice.

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

I am a big reader, an occasional bullet journaler, a dog lover, a movie buff, and a fan of British mystery shows. 

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

The eyes emoji 👀It’s one of those amazing emojis that adds nuance to a text, and I use it way too often.

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

____ I am truly so grateful to be part of this fandom. I know I’m not good at being in the fandom -- I disappear, I suck at answering, etc. But I truly love this group and am so happy to be part of it.

#choices fic writers creations #cfwc writer of the month #playchoices #choices the stories you play #writer of the month #alwaysmychoices #july 2023 #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfic

[rxptdevil]

Diamonds and dance floors playlist

Didn’t include Cartman because I didn’t know what to write for him

Plot:ava max New album for South Park characters [CANCELED]

Warnings:cussing,minor sexual content,cheating

Stan marsh [sleepwalker]

“Sleepwalker

Dream of me wherever you go

If I take you home, I'll turn you to a

Sleepwalker

Eyes are burnin' open or closed

Thought you should know, oh”

“I'm an obsession, not just a game

It feels like inception, stuck in your brain, oh

Sleepwalker

Dream of me wherever you go

Remember, I told you so”

Kyle brofloski [one of us]

“One of would die for love

One of us would give it up

One of us would risk it all

One of us won't even call

One of us could say goodbye

Never even bat an eye

One of us is hurting you

And baby, that's the last thing that I wanna do”

Kenny MCconrick[Ghost

“Everywhere I go I'm haunted by your ghost

You stay on my mind, can't help but keep you close

Oh baby, everywhere I go I'm haunted by your ghost

You're the one I love and I fear the most, ahh”

“I'm haunted by your ghost

It's what I fear the most

I'm haunted by your ghost

It's what I fear the most”

Craig tucker [weapons]

“Stop using your words as weapons

They're never gonna shoot me down

Stop, it's time that you learned a lesson

My love is gonna drown you out

You wanna fight? Do you wanna dance?

'Cause tonight might be the only chance (oh), so

Stop using your words as weapons

(Whoa-oh-oh-oh)”

“Shoot me down, shoot me down, baby, baby

'Nother round, 'nother round, baby, baby

Shoot me down, shoot me down, baby, baby

One more time for the hell of it”

Clyde donovan[get outta my heart]

“Oh, some days I miss ya

But most days I won't

Oh, some nights I'll wish ya

Could kiss me one more time for the rush

It was nice to know ya (know ya)

But it hurts to know, oh (know)

What you did last summer (summer)

And I can't let it go”

“Get outta my head, get outta my car

Get outta my bed, get outta my heart

You've run up your tab, you took it too far

So pack up your bags, get outta my heart-heart-heart-heart”

Tolkien black [million dollar baby]

“Diamonds

She turns tears to diamonds, whoa-oh

Tryin'

To find that silver linin', whoa-oh-oh

And once in a while

I'll go walkin' in the twilight, countin' down to midnight

Close my eyes and wait for her to shine

I'm hidin' in the shadows, prayin' that she'll break free

In the dark of the night, she got danger on her mind

She's a million dollar baby, nobody can explain it

She's a miracle

She's a miracle, oh, oh, oh, ooh

She broke out of her chains, turned the fire into rain

She's a million dollar baby, she bound to drive you crazy

She's a miracle

She's a miracle, oh, oh, oh, ooh

Heart broke, oh-oh

You can't keep her down, no, oh-oh (ah, ah, ah)

Ice-cold, oh-oh

Just comin' back to life, no, oh-oh-oh”

Butters scotch [last night on earth]

“Drive, oh yeah

Take me to the edge real slow, oh-oh

I want a front-row seat for this show, oh yeah

Before it all goes down

So hold me close, ooh

So, let's go 'cause we can't live forever

So, show me how to love

Like it's the last night, baby

Like it's the last night, baby

So, let's go, do it now or never

Show me how to love

Like it's the last night, baby

Like it's the last night on Earth, oh yeah

Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh-oh-oh

Like it's the last night, baby

Like it's the last night on Earth, oh yeah

Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh-oh-oh

Like it's the last night, baby

Like it's the last night on Earth, oh yeah

Say you'll, say you'll be there

When it all comes crumbling

Down, down, down, down, down”

#Spotify #ava max #south park #south park smut #south park x reader #south park x y/n #south park x you #craig tucker x reader #butters scotch x reader #kenny mcormick x reader #tolkien black x reader #clyde donovan x reader #kyle brofloski x reader #stan marsh x reader

[kimsohn]

your moots as tbz members? :DD

HELLO!! i was wishing for an ask game and it popped in my inbox i literally love you anon. also i feel like i don't know tbz at all so this could be completely off. like i could not explain their government assigned personalities to you but i could tell you how many piercings kevin has so idk what that says about me

i only did the 11 members btw cause i need to go eat lunch sorry for not including everyone 😭😭

@zzoguri as jacob, you are the kindest person ever i need to smooch you and you give me jacob's ifly cover vibes

@sungbeam as changmin, do i even need to say more. also you remind me of kyuramzi idk so fun and smiley but also as a changmin stan you are just slightly crazy. just slightly.

@winterchimez as sangyeon, you're literally my big sister ally also you would be a great mom just like sangyeon would be a great dad

@wuahae as younghoon, whenever you say "oh brother.." i just think younghoon LMAOO i think you are very crazy but also very cool

@juyeonszn as sunwoo, you pop in the chat and it's like what crazy thing are you going to say next. also you are a little bit delusional but i am more delusional so i won't criticize you

@heemingyu as chanhee, bro istg you are the definition of chanhee idek how to explain it. whenever i see you, you're always arguing like you just constantly choose drama idk

@sohnric as eric, you give me extroverted vibes so much and you are very cool 2 me. also i associate sweet like sugar with you so u have fun summer vibes yup

@invuwrld as haknyeon, idk haknyeon is so lovely and u are so lovely to me 2. like you can be loud and chaotic but you also are so so nice!!

@stealanity as juyeon, matty you are so precious and honestly you're a mix of juyeon younghoon haknyeon jacob but i chose juyeon cause juyeon has a very sweet personality and you are very sweet too

@cloverdaisies as hyunjae, u are kinda crazy to me clo like i never know what to expect with you and also you being type 8 gives me hyunjae vibes too

@baesm as kevin, u are literally best friend and you are funny sweet crazy all in one

#ding! #love letter #am i really a deobi idk

[sebstanaddict]

Too Good To Be True

Sebastian Stan x Reader Story

A/n: The moment has finally come! Get ready to enter a "magical kingdom" 😆 You won't want to miss this chapter 😉

Summary: A romantic comedy story where Sebastian Stan falls in love with reader but she is not who he thinks she is.

Having been pushed through the limit, reader decided to finally resign from being Sebastian's girlfriend's assistant. But she still needed to attend an event before she could resign. Would she end up resigning or would she withstand another day being a literal slave?

Pairings : Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Chapters : 9/20 (Might add more)

Chapter List >

Warning : none - let me know if you find anything

Word count : 7.8k words

This story is inspired loosely by Sebastian's love life so it will have characters from his real life but I will not name their real names. I will only use Sebastian's real name in the story.

---

Chapter 9 - The Gala

13320 Mulholland Drive, Los Angeles, California - Saturday, July 8th 2023 - 6 pm

—

It was a fine summer evening in Los Angeles, California. On top of a hill on the famous Mulholland Drive, stood a house built like a castle. Two people were in the house, getting ready for a gala event that evening. One slipped on a form fitting sleeveless white embroidered dress, with plunging neckline, mermaid skirt, tons of crystal applique and a long train measuring up to ten feet long. While the other one slipped on a simple short sleeve black dress with A line skirt and big white collar.

Y/n looked at her dresser's mirror and buttoned up the collar of her dress. Then she smoothed the skirt of her black dress. After what seemed like hours, Jo, Aurora's stylist, decided to have her wear this plain black midi dress. Out of all the dresses the stylist had, she was surprised he had something as ridiculous as what she was wearing. She just needed to put on a white apron and black loafers and she would look exactly like Rosa and Gabriella in their maid uniforms.

When Aurora saw her in it she cackled and immediately told her how perfect it looked on her. She couldn't disagree more. But of course she had no say in it. Knowing she was going to resign the next day anyway, she withstood everything that Aurora and her minions did to her. Including letting them style her hair into a tight bun on top of her head, making her look exactly like a maid. The only saving grace was the shoes they asked her to wear. Apparently they didn't have any black loafers fit for a maid so they gave her the closest thing, a black closed toe high heel stiletto. She rarely wore high heel shoes let alone stilettos, so she was kind of nervous about it. She did some walking practice with it earlier and almost twisted her ankle again. She really hoped she wouldn't hurt herself that night at the gala. She couldn't wait until tomorrow so she could leave the dreaded place. Having herself injured again could hinder her plan.

After she made sure her dress was okay and her hair was pulled up into a neat tight bun, she put her stilettos on and stood up carefully. Then she made a silent prayer in her heart, asking for God's help that she would survive that night and not injure herself.

She was also quite nervous because she had never been to an event like that. Amore was having a new perfume launch gala party that evening where plenty of celebrities were expected to attend. Aurora was Amore's brand ambassador for that year so she was one of the main guests. Sebastian being her boyfriend was of course invited as her plus one.

Sebastian. Her heart ached a little as she thought of the way he looked at her last time. The disappointment in his eyes was clear. She wished she got the chance to explain more about what happened. She was sure he would understand. But he left without saying a word. Well, she would try to explain what happened to him if she got the chance that evening. She also planned on letting him know that she was going to resign. She hoped he wouldn't mind.

She glanced at her watch and decided it was time to go out. She would wait by the stairs until Aurora was ready.

She picked up her purse and slowly stepped out of her cell. Despite walking carefully she tripped near the kitchen door as she stepped on the short stairs connecting the garage to the kitchen, but her hand managed to grab onto the kitchen door so she thankfully didn't fall. She shook her head and continued to walk into the kitchen, saying again a silent prayer in her heart.

Her stilettos clacked on the marble tile in the house as she made her way across towards the circular stairs. Just as she arrived at the entrance the front door opened, revealing the most handsome man she had ever laid her eyes on.

“Oh hey, Y/n.” Sebastian entered the house looking like a prince with his light blue suit and his hair pulled back neatly into a man bun.

“Oh, hi Sebastian.” She smiled shyly, blushing a little.

“You look.. good tonight.” Sebastian smiled, checking her out from top to bottom.

She couldn't help but blush again at that and felt butterflies in her stomach.

“No need to lie to me, Sebastian. Just add a white apron and black loafers and I look like I'm ready to vacuum the carpets.” She shrugged, trying to make no big deal out of it, making him laugh.

“Well.. you're right. This dress looks awfully like what a maid would wear. But I think you still look good. I like the shoes on you.” He winked and a shiver ran down her spine, butterflies flew in her stomach and she needed to take a deep breath.

“Thanks.” She said, that was the only thing she could respond with as a part of her still tried to deal with the fact that Sebastian Stan just flirted with her.

For a moment there was an uncomfortable silence as they stared at each other. She noticed again the difference in the way he looked at her. Despite him being a little flirty before, he was somewhat colder, reminding her that she needed to explain things.

“Umm.. Sebastian, I'm sorry. But about what happened yesterday, I need to explain.” She said slowly, her heart beating fast in her chest.

“Oh.. yeah. Go on.” Sebastian nodded.

She told Sebastian about what really happened and his face slowly turned more relaxed and then he laughed.

“I'm sorry, Sebastian, for disappointing you.” She ended her explanation.

“Hey, no need to say sorry. It was all a mistake, right? I knew you weren't the type to do that, to embarrass other people like that. So, yeah, no need to worry. Although, I wish I was there to witness it in person. I'm sure it was hilarious.” He chuckled.

“Oh, you should see the look on the interviewer's face, and Aurora's face too.” She laughed.

“I can imagine.” He laughed again and she felt like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Seeing him laugh and looking at the cute nose scrunch he did made her smile and her heart skipped a beat.

Then her face fell as she remembered that she was going to resign the next day. She wondered if she would meet Sebastian again. Most likely not, and the thought made her sad.

“What's wrong?” Sebastian asked, noticing her change of expression.

“Sebastian.. I..” She was just about to tell him about her resignation plan when Aurora's loud yelling could be heard from upstairs.

“Y/n! Y/n! Come up here immediately!”

She sighed. “Sorry. Duty calls.”

“Yeah, of course. I'll just wait here.” Sebastian nodded, looking slightly disappointed too, much to her surprise.

She started to go up the stairs slowly, holding onto the railings tightly, praying she wouldn’t trip. Going up the stairs wearing stilettos was proven to be hard for her so she ended up taking off her shoes and sprinted up the stairs barefoot as Aurora had started to yell again.

She could hear Sebastian chuckling behind her as she continued up the stairs barefoot. She turned around and gave him an annoyed look, making him laugh even more.

“Not funny, Sebastian.” She called out and he laughed again.

“Y/n!” Aurora yelled yet again. She turned around and quickly took the last several steps onto the second floor, leaving Sebastian still chuckling downstairs. The fact she could make him laugh even though it was at her expense made her somewhat happy. She smiled a little as she continued to go towards Aurora’s room while putting on the stilettos again.

Just then the door to Aurora’s room was banged open and she jumped in surprise.

“Y/n! What took you so long?!” Aurora came out of the room, her eyebrows furrowed, a vein bulging on her temple. Jo and Jenny came out of the room too, each holding on to the train of her dress.

Aurora looked stunning with the dress on. Her blonde hair was down and styled in soft waves along her back. Her make up looked amazing with shades of soft pink on her cheeks and lips and light blue shimmering eyeshadow on her eyelids. She should have looked beautiful but the angry expression on her face made her look more like the evil Snow Queen.

“This. Sorry.” She said as she pointed towards her stilettos and Aurora rolled her eyes.

“You are so pathetic! Maybe you should just wear your sneakers or something.” Aurora commented and she nodded vigorously.

“Yes please. I can barely walk with these.”

“Hmm.. no. Just keep the stilettos on. You’re going to be by my side throughout the event, I don’t want you to embarrass me by wearing something inappropriate.” Aurora said and she sighed.

“Anything I can help you with?” She asked.

“Yes. Your job is to carry the train of my dress and make sure it looks perfect. Before the photocall at the red carpet you need to make sure the dress looks perfect. Then once we get inside, I need you to help take off the train and keep it somewhere safe.” Aurora explained.

“Yes, Miss Watson. Anything else I need to do at the event?” She asked.

“Just be on stand by around me and be ready whenever I call you.” Aurora replied and she nodded.

“Is Sebastian here?” She asked.

“Yes, he’s downstairs.” She nodded.

“Okay, let’s go. Hold my train.” Aurora commanded and she immediately picked up the train off Jo’s and Jenny’s hands and started to walk following her, keeping a distance of about ten feet from her.

“Aurora darling, could you stop for a moment? I want to take some pictures.” Jo suddenly said and Aurora stopped right at the top of the stairs.

Jo walked past her and went down the stairs quickly, followed by Jenny.

“Take several steps down, Aurora, I want to capture the train on the steps.” Jo called out and Aurora started to walk down with her still holding onto the train.

“Y/n! Let the train go and hide somewhere!” Jo called out and she sighed as she let Aurora’s train go and she started to walk back up the stairs. She stopped right before the stairs and stood to the side, making sure she was not photobombing Aurora.

She looked down and saw Sebastian, looking at Aurora intensely. He seemed to be mesmerized, much to her annoyance and she felt that heavy feeling in her chest again. She sighed and wondered whether she would ever stop feeling jealous of Aurora. Well, starting tomorrow she could wave that feeling goodbye as she wouldn’t see either of them again anyway.

She couldn’t help but feel sad at not being able to see Sebastian again. She wondered if he would stay friends with her. But then she thought it wasn’t likely. They weren’t exactly friends to begin with and they barely communicated except when he came to see Aurora. If they were friends, they would at least contact each other through text message or phone call, even if they couldn’t see each other in person. So yeah, they really weren’t friends either. Once she resigned she suspected he would just disappear from her life, and the thought made her shed a tear, much to her surprise. She was going to miss him. That’s for sure.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and sighed as she continued to watch Sebastian. He glanced curiously at her, as if silently asking if she was okay. She just gave him a small smile and he smiled back, making her feel a pang in her heart. She needed to tell him that she was resigning. She hoped she would get the chance to do it before the night was over.

—-

Park Plaza Hotel - The MacArthur, Los Angeles, California - Saturday, July 8th 2023 - 8 pm

Her heart pounded hard in her chest as the car they were riding on approached Park Plaza Hotel, or The MacArthur as the building was now called, where the gala event was being held. Her eyes widened as she took in the beautiful purple and blue lights showering the facade of the century old art deco building. Cars could be seen lining the front of the building where one by one the distinguished guests stepped out from their cars and were welcomed by flashes of lights from cameras.

“So, here we are. Good luck Y/n.” Nelson said, winking at her. She was sitting on the front passenger seat right by Nelson.

“Thanks Nelson.” She smiled then took a deep breath.

She opened the door and quickly walked to the other side of the car to open Aurora's door but Sebastian beat her to it. He was already guiding Aurora out of the car.

“I got it, Y/n. Don't worry.” Sebastian said, smiling at her as he pulled Aurora out of the car by her hand.

“Okay. Thanks.” She smiled and Sebastian smiled back.

“My train, Y/n!” Aurora snapped as soon as she had gotten out of the car, her eyebrows furrowed in dislike.

“Okay, sorry.” She said as she started to gather Aurora's train and pulled it out of the car.

She spread the train wide when Aurora had started to walk onto the red carpet and she made sure it looked okay. Then she continued to walk slowly following Aurora, her hand carrying the train in front of her.

People around them were audibly admiring Aurora's dress as she walked onto the red carpet. Aurora held her head up high and smiled in satisfaction as they continued to walk to the middle of the red carpet, with Sebastian escorting her by her side.

“Let the train go!” Aurora looked back at her and hissed. She immediately dropped the train and walked back a little, letting the photographers take pictures of Aurora and Sebastian on the red carpet.

She couldn't help but feel the heaviness on her chest again as she looked at them. With the way they were dressed, they looked exactly like a bride and a groom. Aurora smiled widely and made sure she kept being close to Sebastian, having one of her hands touching him all the time. Sebastian had his hand around her waist most of the time and smiled for the cameras too, although not as wide as Aurora. Sometimes he would give a smoldering look that she knew would make all the fan girls looking at the pictures melt.

After their pictures were taken together they were separated and the photographers took solo pictures of them. Then they were soon whisked away to enter the building.

There were high, wide stairs from the red carpet up into the lobby of the building. She scrambled to pick up Aurora's train and quickly walked behind her. But she tripped and fell on the stairs, sending people around them into fits of laughter.

She could feel warmth crawling from her neck up to her cheeks as she slowly started to get up, shaking her head in embarrassment.

“Are you okay?” A male hand was extended in front of her and she looked up to see Sebastian looking down at her, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, thank you Sebastian. I'm okay.” She blushed as she reached out to touch Sebastian's hand.

“The stilettos are literally killing me.” She commented as she stood up and Sebastian laughed.

“Sebastian!” Aurora's loud yelling could be heard. She looked up and saw Aurora looking down at them, a frown on her face.

“Coming, Aurora.” Sebastian sighed and he released her hand.

“Be careful, okay?” He continued while looking at her in concern.

“Yeah, I will. Thank you again Sebastian.” She blushed and he smiled then he turned around and went back to walk next to Aurora.

“My train, Y/n!” Aurora commanded and she quickly picked up the train and continued to walk slowly following Aurora. Thankfully she made it up onto the top of the stairs without falling down again.

They continued to cross the lobby of the hotel and into the ballroom where the event was being held. Elegant classical music could be heard coming out from inside the ballroom. Hundreds of people in various elegant dresses and suits could be seen entering the ballroom.

Her jaw dropped as they finally stepped into the ballroom. She felt as if she had stepped into a magical kingdom as blue light showered the entirety of the ballroom, giving the elegant walls and dry ice covered floors a beautiful and mystical vibe. Several trees looking like they came out of a wood in winter stood on the side, their shadows hovering over  numerous round tables where guests sat and mingled. At the end of the ballroom there was a big stage where a string quartet were playing. Behind them Aurora's beautiful face was plastered on the wall with a picture of a bottle of perfume next to her.

She continued to walk further into the ballroom following Aurora. She noticed that all along the ballroom up until the stage there were some interesting things being displayed. She realized they were Amore's perfumes. Small and big bottles displayed beautifully on intricately decorated tables. Guests were being given some sample bottles to take home and she took a mental note to grab some herself. Amore was a high end brand so the perfume was not exactly within her budget. That's why she would love to get her hands on some free samples.

“Y/n! Take off my train!” Aurora turned back to her, startling her and she nodded. She gathered the train and walked closer to Aurora and took the train off.

“Where should I keep this?” She asked.

“I don't know! You're the PA. You're supposed to help me! Figure it out yourself!” Aurora snapped, then she flipped her hair and walked towards a nearby round table where some people had stood up and greeted her.

“Sorry, about her.” Sebastian said, looking at her apologetically.

“It's okay. I'm used to it.” She shrugged.

“I think there's a deposit counter near the entrance. You can keep it there.” Sebastian suggested.

“Oh, right. Thanks.” She nodded.

“Sebastian!” Aurora called out and he sighed.

“See you later.” He said and she nodded.

She walked back towards the entrance and indeed, found a small deposit counter right by the entrance. After she deposited Aurora's train, she walked back into the ballroom.

With the ballroom being so huge and the lighting being somewhat minimal, it took her some time to find Aurora and Sebastian among the guests. She finally found them sitting at a round table near the stage. She was about to approach them when someone thrusted a tray full of appetizers onto her hands, startling her.

“Take this and serve them. We're running behind!” A man wearing a waiter uniform spoke to her and she realized what was happening.

“Sorry, but I.. I'm not a waitress. I don't work here.” She said but the man scoffed.

“No more excuses, missy. Your outfit says it all. Just go and serve them!” The man scolded her and immediately left her, leaving her staring at him, dumbfounded.

She looked around and felt her heart sink to her stomach. Girls wearing an outfit similar to hers were walking around the ballroom, serving food to the guests. She looked basically like one of the wait staff at the gala! Except, of course, minus the apron. She shook her head in disbelief.

“Excuse me, are you going to serve those or not? I'm hungry.” A man sitting at a round table near her said. She didn't have a choice but to serve the food.

“Of course. I'm sorry, sir. Here you are.” She said as she started putting the plates of appetizers onto the round table in front of the man.

She decided to just play along and once all the food on her tray was served she would just go to the kitchen, leave the tray and sneak out or something. She glanced at Aurora's table and saw her talking animatedly with the guests there. Sebastian was talking to a man next to him as they enjoyed the appetizer. She figured they wouldn't look for her so she could just sneak out. But of course she was wrong.

“Y/n!? What are you doing?” Aurora's voice could be heard as she walked past them towards the kitchen with trays full of empty bowls and half eaten soups this time. After she was done serving the appetizers some guests around her had started to put them on her tray.

“I.. umm..” She stopped, blushing hard.

“I knew you had it in you. You couldn't help yourself. Couldn't you? Being a waitress just seems to run in your blood.” Aurora chuckled.

“I'm..I’m just trying to help.” She stammered.

“Well, good. Maybe you can help find me some cocktails. Would you like some, Sebastian?” Aurora asked, turning to Sebastian who was looking at her in amusement, much to her embarrassment.

“No, thanks. I'm good. Do you need any help?” Sebastian asked, glancing at the tray in her hand.

“No, it's okay. I got it, Sebastian.” She smiled and he smiled back. Sometimes she still wondered how Sebastian could be so nice to her.

“Y/n! Go and get me some cocktails!” Aurora scolded her and she nodded, forcing her to stop thinking of Sebastian.

She turned around and as she left she could hear Aurora hissing at Sebastian. “Seb, could you stop defending her and helping her?! I don't like it!”

She smiled as she heard it. Apparently Sebastian being so nice to her really bothered Aurora. All the jealousy she felt earlier had somehow been erased from her heart and she felt kind of happy as she walked towards the kitchen. Her happiness was cut short however as the door to the kitchen was opened all of a sudden, crashing into her and causing the tray in her hand to flip towards her, ruining her dress. The bowls crashed down onto the floor and the loud sounds caused people around them to stop and stare at her.

Again?! She couldn't believe her luck, or lack of luck that is. Twice now she had embarrassed herself at the gala. Why couldn't she just have a normal life and stop embarrassing herself?! She grumbled internally.

“You! Clean this up now!” The man who had given her the plate of appetizers earlier came out of the kitchen and scolded her so she didn't have a choice.

She started to kneel down on the floor and gathered all the broken bowls with help from the waitress who had opened the door and crashed into her earlier. She didn't dare to look back towards where Sebastian and Aurora were sitting. She was much too embarrassed. She hoped they didn't see what happened.

After she cleaned everything up, returned the tray to the kitchen and dumped the broken bowls into the trash, she looked down at her dress and realized there were some stains on them courtesy of the uneaten soup.

“Here. You can clean it with this.” The waitress that had crashed into her earlier gave her a clean cloth.

“Thank you.” She said as she started to clean up her dress. But even after cleaning it up some stains on her chest still looked noticeable.

“Here, wear this to cover it up.” The waitress gave her a white apron and she nodded.

“Thanks.” She said as she put the apron over her head and tied it behind her back. Oh well, she was already knee deep into it, why not dress for the part. She shrugged.

“Do you know where I can get some cocktails?” She asked.

“Oh, there's a bar in the ballroom on the right side of the entrance. You can get some there. But it's not for the wait staff.” The waitress replied.

“Okay, thank you. And no, I'm not looking to drink it myself even though I could use some now.” She shrugged. “My boss asked for it.”

“I see. Well, even if you get some yourself, there's no judgment from me. You look like you need it.” The waitress said and she wasn't sure if she should be offended by that or not.

“Uh.. right. Thank you.” She replied, not sure what else to say.

“You're welcome.” The waitress smiled then she left.

She went back into the ballroom and headed towards the bar. She picked up two glasses of cocktail that were already lined up on a table at the bar and brought it towards Aurora.

“What's this?” Aurora asked, looking up at her as she placed the cocktails on the table in front of her.

“I.. umm.. I don't know. They were served at the bar. I didn't ask.” She replied.

“You really are an incompetent PA.” Aurora shook her head.

“Aurora, stop it. Let me taste it. I'm sure it's good.” Sebastian said as he picked up a glass and sipped it.

“So? What is it?” Aurora asked.

“Not sure but it's too sweet, not my taste. I think you'll like it though.” Sebastian replied.

“Hmm.. fine.” Aurora said as she picked up the other glass and sipped it.

“Yeah, it's too sweet but I like it.” Aurora nodded. “Go and get me some more.”

She nodded and she went back to the bar to get some more.

She wasn't sure if Aurora had a drinking problem or if she just liked the cocktail, but within the next hour she downed six glasses of it and it had started to make her rather tipsy.

The main course was a plate of sirloin steak with fries and stir fried vegetables, but Aurora only ate the vegetables, leaving the steak and fries cold on the plate, making her get drunk much faster. She was giggling and laughing at what people said even though they weren't funny and she felt she had second hand embarrassment just looking at her.

After dessert, which was panna cotta served with lime mousse, chocolate soil, cocoa meringues and orange gel, were served, the main event began.

Aurora was whisked away towards the backstage area. As Amore's brand ambassador, she was supposed to be up on the stage, symbolically launching the new perfume as well as giving a speech.

The lighting in the ballroom was turned off leaving the screen on the stage the only source of lighting. Aurora appeared on the screen as an ad for the perfume was shown. Towards the end of the ad a huge bottle of the perfume was wheeled onto the stage and Aurora, along with a lady who she assumed was Amore's CEO, walked onto the stage. Just as the screen showed exploding colors of various shades of blue, Aurora pressed a button and the top of the huge bottle popped open. Thick mist shot out of the bottle and engulfed the whole ballroom with a sweet, pleasant and refreshing smell. She assumed the perfume smelled like that. Somehow Amore was able to bottle up what winter wonderland would smell like.

The guests erupted in cheers and applauded. Aurora smiled widely on the stage as she took a stand behind a microphone.

“Thank you everyone for coming here tonight as we celebrate the launch of Amore's Magical Winter perfume.” Aurora started her speech.

She couldn't help but admire her a little. She was sure Aurora was rather tipsy when she went towards the stage earlier but now she looked perfectly sober. Not until she finished her speech and stepped off the stage did she see her wobbling a little.

Aurora returned back to her table and was welcomed with applause and cheers from guests at the table, including Sebastian who was smiling and applauding too.

“You did a great job.” He said to her and Aurora smiled then went on tiptoe to kiss him, startling him and making everyone on the table cheered and whistled.

She looked away as they kissed and felt a pang in her heart. She tried to ignore it but couldn't as she glanced back at them, who were still kissing. If the rumors were true, that they were a PR couple, they were doing a great job. As much as she hated seeing them, they were doing a great job convincing people that they were dating at that moment as both seemed to enjoy kissing each other.

Just then the lighting in the ballroom changed. This time purple lights shone on the floor and blue lights showered the walls. The vibe of the gala had changed. A DJ took over the stage, playing some club music and guests started to file onto the dance floor.

“Come on, Seb. Let's dance.” Aurora said as they finally stopped kissing and she dragged him towards the dance floor.

Soon everyone on the round table left and hit the dance floor, leaving her standing by the table alone. Her stomach had started to rumble. She realized she hadn't gotten the chance to eat anything that evening, so busy was she being a “waitress” and being Aurora's slave.

She noticed Aurora's plate with the steak was still on the table. As much as she hated it, she felt it was such a waste to leave the steak left uneaten so she picked up a clean knife and fork, glanced around, and after making sure no one saw her, she cut the steak and started eating it.

As she ate she felt her chest tightened and her eyes watered. Never in a million years she thought she would ever stoop this low, eating off the plate of someone else's leftovers. The steak was cold but it was good. She realized she hadn't had steak in ages. Since she got fired from her Silicon Valley office she had been basically living off pasta, ramen and cereal. She rarely ate meat, just some occasional minced chicken and canned tuna when she felt like it. So this was quite a big deal for her. Tears started to stream down her face as she continued to eat. She couldn't take it anymore, so she finally stopped eating after finishing about half of the steak and wiped the tears from her eyes with a clean napkin.

Get it together, girl. You're gonna resign anyway tomorrow. She thought and she finally stood up and went to the bathroom to check on her make-up and compose herself. When she went back inside the ballroom, Aurora and Sebastian were back at the table.

“Y/n! There you are! Where were you my little Cinderella?” Aurora asked, noticing her arrival at the table. Aurora giggled and she shook her head. Aurora was clearly drunk.

“I was just in the bathroom. Anything I can help you with?” She asked.

“Yes! I want those cocktails again. The ones you brought for me before. They're so good. I'm thirsty after all the dancing.” Aurora said.

“Okay.” She nodded.

“Y/n.. are you okay?” Sebastian reached out and held her hand back, preventing her from leaving, sending shivers down her spine. He stared at her and studied her face, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“I'm fine. Thank you, Sebastian.” She said and she gave him a small smile.

“Seb, she's fine. Just let her go so she can get my cocktails.” Aurora protested, her eyes narrowed.

“Okay.” Sebastian nodded and let her hand go.

She sighed as she left the “couple” and headed towards the bar. Sebastian was so perceptive. He had been nothing but very kind towards her throughout the evening. She couldn't help but wonder yet again if he had feelings for her. But  then again, he had been like that ever since they met and he had yet to declare his love to her. So, no, she was sure he didn't have feelings for her. Especially not after she witnessed him and Aurora kissing again that evening. She sighed and continued walking towards the bar.

Unfortunately the cocktails Aurora wanted were already gone. She asked the bartender to make some new cocktails for Aurora but the bartender said they had run out of the ingredients. They only had some white wine and champagne left. She wasn't sure what Aurora would want so she went back to the table empty handed.

As she walked back she passed a small table with some curious looking mason jar glass drink dispensers and small bottles displayed in front of it.

“Magical Herbal Potions”

A sign on the table said. She stopped and a woman with long black curly hair dressed like a gypsy who was sitting behind the table smiled at her.

“Hello, come and try some of our magical potions. They're not just any potions, they can help with any problem you might have.” The woman said.

Huh? Any problem? That sounded really interesting. She thought as she continued to stare at the dispensers.

“Any problem?” She asked as she read the label on one of the dispensers. “Love” was written on it, then “Luck” was written on the dispenser next to it. Another dispenser had “Health” written on it and yet another one had “Wealth” written on it. Basically the dispensers had everything she wanted. Except maybe health as she felt she was thankfully healthy enough.

“Yes, any problem at all my dear.” The woman smiled again.

She wasn't someone who believed in magic or superstition so she was convinced it was all just a marketing gimmick, but she was kind of in a desperate situation, so she needed all the help she could get.

“Umm.. how much is this one?” She asked as she pointed at the “Luck” dispenser.

“They're all free, my dear. Amore paid for them. Feel free to take any that you want.” The woman said.

“Oh! Really?” She asked.

“Yes. Here, I think you need this one more than anything else.” The woman said as she started to pour some “Luck” potion into a shot glass.

“Oh yeah. I guess you saw what happened.” She blushed, remembering the moment she crashed into the kitchen door and destroyed the bowls.

“I did, and I'm sorry. And if you'll excuse me for being so blunt, but I have never seen anyone with so much bad luck around their aura like yourself.” The woman stated and her eyes widened.

“Are you some kind of psychic? Or a witch? Because, how do you know that?” She asked, dumbfounded.

The woman laughed. “It doesn't matter my dear. What matters is, the universe allowed us to meet at this very moment. And I think the universe wants to change something in your life. So here, take this. And also this, and this.” The woman said as she gave her the shot glass filled with the “Luck” potion and then she started to fill two more shot glasses with the “Love” and “Wealth” potion.

“Umm.. how do you know I also need these?” She asked in awe.

“I just know, my dear.” The woman smiled.

“Haha.. okay.” She laughed nervously. She had started to feel rather creeped out by the woman.

“Don't be scared, I just want to help.” The woman said and she felt a chill run down her spine.

“Umm.. okay.” She said. Well, she really did need some help in her life. Maybe this was God's way of helping her.

So she braced herself and picked up the “Luck” potion and slowly sipped it. It tasted sweet, like apple juice, so she quickly downed it. The rest of the potions didn't taste bad either so she drank them all in one go.

As soon as she finished drinking all the potions, a loud thunder rumbled and the lights in the ballroom flickered, making the hairs on her arms stand up.

“Don't worry my dear, everything is going to be okay.” The woman said, patting her shoulder in encouragement.

“Right. Well, thank you so much for all the potions. I better get back before my boss starts looking for me.” She said and the woman nodded.

“Wait, before you go.” The woman said as she gave her another shot glass filled with amber liquid in it.

“Could you give this to Aurora Watson, please? I see that she needs help and this will help her immensely.” The woman said.

“Oh! Okay. Sure. What potion is this?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

“It's a mixture of several things that I know will help her. That's all I can say.” The woman explained.

“Umm.. okay. Thank you so much.” She said and the woman smiled.

“It's my pleasure, dear. Good luck!”

“Yeah, thanks.” She nodded and smiled then turned to walk towards Aurora's table.

That was weird. She shook her head as she continued to walk. Well, the only thing she could do now was wait and see whether the potions had any effect. She couldn't believe how low she had gotten. She had never believed in magic and superstition and now she took potions to fix her life? Granted, she didn't exactly seek out for them but it still felt weird that she would encounter someone like that woman, who she was sure was some kind of a psychic, just at the moment where she needed help the most.

She shrugged and decided to let the weird thought go for now as she arrived at Aurora's table. Sebastian was nowhere in sight when she arrived, only Aurora was there and a woman who was sitting next to her and talking to her.

“Excuse me, Miss Watson. I'm sorry but the bar ran out of the cocktails you wanted. There's only white wine and champagne. I wasn't sure which one you want, so..” She trailed.

“Just get me some white wine.” Aurora responded.

“Okay.” She nodded.

“What is that?” Aurora asked, pointing at the potion in her hand.

“Oh, someone asked me to give it to you. She said this will help you somehow.” She said, doubting Aurora would drink it.

“Help me? Help me in what exactly?” Aurora asked.

“I..umm.. I'm not sure. But she had all these herbal drinks labeled with Luck, Love, Health, Wealth and stuff on it..” She trailed.

“Fine. I'll take it. It sounds like a marketing gimmick anyway. They probably want me to promote it on Instagram. Besides, I'm thirsty.” Aurora said and she gave the glass to her.

Aurora took a sip and after tasting it she drank the whole thing in one go. Just as she was finished another loud thunder could be heard and the lights flickered again, sending shivers down her spine and making her wonder if those were real magical potions.

“Well, that was not bad, it had a little zing in it.” Aurora said, giving the shot glass back to her.

“Now go and get me some white wine.” Aurora commanded and she nodded.

For the rest of the evening she spent the time going back and forth from the round table to the bar getting more and more white wine for Aurora that she started to feel concerned for her. She eventually stopped getting her some more white wine when Sebastian intervened.

“Aurora, you've had enough, let's go home.” Sebastian persuaded her and she agreed.

When they arrived back at Aurora's castle Aurora could barely walk so Sebastian and her guided her up the stairs into her room.

“I don't feel so good.” Aurora complained as Sebastian laid her back on the bed while she took off Aurora's shoes.

“You're drunk, Aurora. You'll be fine. Y/n, could you get her some water please?” Sebastian asked.

“Okay, sure.” She nodded and she quickly left them.

When she got back Sebastian was still by Aurora's side, patting her hand.

“Seb, why are you so nice? You're nicer than my mom even.” Aurora said, looking up at him with love in her eyes.

“Don't say that Aurora. Your mom is nice.” Sebastian responded.

“Excuse me, here's the water.” She said, feeling kind of bad for intruding on them somehow.

“Oh thanks Y/n.” Sebastian said as she gave the glass to him.

“Here, you need to drink.” Sebastian said, helping Aurora sit down and helped her drink.

“Thanks Seb.” Aurora said after she took several gulps.

“Okay, I'm gonna go now.” Sebastian said, putting the glass of water on the nightstand next to him.

“No, don't go. Stay.” Aurora begged, reaching out and touching his hand.

“I can't. I'm sorry, Aurora. Besides, you need to rest. Tomorrow is the meeting with Maya for Pumping Black, remember? You need to get all the rest you can get. I'll come to pick you up tomorrow and we can go to her place together.” He said, releasing his hand from Aurora's.

“Fine. Go.” Aurora sighed, leaning back and closed her eyes.

“Okay. Take care, Aurora.” Sebastian said as he stood up. Aurora didn't say anything and just waved her hand at him.

“I'll walk you out.” She offered as Sebastian started to leave the room. She remembered that she wanted to tell him about her plan on resigning the next day.

“Thanks Y/n.” Sebastian smiled.

“So, tonight has been quite an interesting night. I applaud your patience in dealing with Aurora.” Sebastian said as they stepped down the stairs.

“Well, it was my job to be her assistant, so I did what I could.” She said and she glanced at him. Her heart pounded hard in her chest as she realized Sebastian was giving her a look of admiration, making her think twice about resigning.

“I wish I could hire you as my assistant. I could use someone with so much dedication like you.” Sebastian laughed and she smiled.

“Well, if you ever need an assistant for your future projects, please don't hesitate to ask me.” She replied, thinking that she needed the job like yesterday.

“Of course. There's another project I'm gonna be doing after the Pumping Black shooting is done. I'll make sure to hire you. If Aurora would let you go, that is.” He said.

“Oh Sebastian, after all that happened I'm sure she can't wait to fire me.” She shrugged.

“Yeah. I'm sorry you had to go through all that.” He sighed as they finally reached the front door.

“It's okay. You know bad luck is my middle name.” She stated and he laughed.

“After what happened tonight I'm starting to believe it's true.” He chuckled.

“It is true. You'll be hard pressed to find anyone else that has worse luck than me.” She shrugged and he continued to laugh.

“Anyway, Sebastian, I..” She was just about to tell him her resignation plan when Aurora's loud yelling could be heard.

“Y/n! Y/n!”

“I’m sorry, Sebastian, duty calls.” She sighed.

“Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? And if you need anything don't hesitate to call me.” Sebastian said, giving her a brief hug.

“Okay, thank you Sebastian.” She smiled.

“Y/n! Where are you?!” Aurora yelled again.

“Coming Miss Watson!’ She called out.

“Take care Y/n.” Sebastian said, patting her hand.

“Thanks. You too, Sebastian.” She smiled, her heart dropped at the possibility of never seeing him again after she resigned.

As she watched him go, an alternative plan entered her mind. Maybe she could stay and work for Aurora until the shooting for Pumping Black was over. After that she could ask Sebastian to hire her. That way she didn't need to find another job and she could still see him.

Yup, that could work. She thought. She just needed to brace herself for maybe around three months until the Pumping Black shooting was over. Besides, after everything that had happened to her so far throughout her time working for Aurora, she was sure she could handle anything else coming her way. She had learnt a lot about Aurora's character in the past week and how to deal with them. She just needed to put on a thicker skin whenever she or her minions mocked her and just ignored them. She finally decided.

She entered Aurora's room and found her still lying on the bed. She looked very sick and she started to worry that the potion she gave her caused this and not just the fact she was drunk. But then again, she took three potions and she was fine.

“Y/n.. I don't feel so good. Help me get to the bathroom.” Aurora called out and she nodded.

Aurora sat down as she leaned over her to help her get up and just then Aurora opened her mouth and threw up right on her chest!

At that moment she changed her mind again. Yes, no matter what,  she was going to resign the next morning and nothing could stop her.

—

13320 Mulholland Drive, Los Angeles, California - Sunday, July 9th 2023 - 6 am

A sliver of soft morning light entered through the curtain and fell on a sleeping form in the master bedroom. A blonde woman slept underneath the comforter. Her hair strewn every which way. The light fell over her eyes and she stirred.

Y/n squinted as she slowly opened her eyes. Why was it so bright? She wondered. Sunlight couldn't possibly enter her room as her room didn't have any windows. And why was her head throbbing so hard? It was really painful.

She finally opened her eyes fully and looked around. Her heart started to beat faster in her chest as she registered the environment around her. She was in a huge room with cream walls and large windows on every wall. The floor was covered with dark gray parquet. The furniture was mostly white with gray accents. On her right was a big walk-in closet and next to the closet was a sofa and coffee table facing the windows and a door leading out to the big terrace outside.

She was in Aurora's room?! What was she doing in Aurora's room?!

She looked down and realized she wasn't wearing the shorts and t-shirt she put on last night, she was wearing the night gown she helped Aurora put on last night after she was done throwing up on her.

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she put her hand over her eyes and realized she could see clearly without her glasses! 

She jumped from the bed, feeling queasy as she walked as fast as she could towards the walk-in closet.

Her heart beat so fast as she looked at the full body mirror in the closet and found herself staring back at the face of Aurora Watson!

She screamed and her scream was matched with another person's scream coming from down the stairs and her heart sank to her stomach.

Chapter 10>

Taglist

@dhoruwolfie

#sebastian stan #sebastianstan #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan fluff

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi BPP,

I how you are well.

I like you enough and feel safe enough to send this to you without the fear of getting crucified. Is Seven really a song worth of a Grammy? Like it's a pretty average song with multiple remixes. I personally didn't think Butter or Dynamite were worth a Grammy either. Maybe dynamite slightly because it was a shock to get a song like that from BTS plus a cultural reset of some sort but I feel the same way about them the way I feel about Seven. Generic song that could be passed as white people singing for generic radio if there wasn't noticeable accent. Plus the reason we have been able to stay on number one is because we have do many versions similar to what Dynamite and Butter had. It's not really a cultural reset of any sort. Now people might come at me and say I am an anti but I am not really. I feel like BTSs musical set standards are so bloody high. A song like Black Swan deserves a GRAMMY. Even a song like ON does but I don't know if I think their English songs do. The quality decreases a lot with their english releases. I found seven to be the worst out of those releases but PTD to me was equally as bad. I once apologise if I come across rude and antis but honestly, that's exactly how I feel. I hope I didn't anger you too much BPP.

***

You really shouldn't be so concerned about potentially pissing me off. For one thing I'm just a fan like you, what I'm saying is fair game to be picked apart if there's a better argument. And two, it takes a lot to actually piss me off. I'm not sensitive to seeing the members I like and BTS as a whole get dragged through filth because I know they're the real deal. Also don't take pointers for my opinions from k-pop stans on Twt/Tumblr in any case.

That said, I agree with you Seven is a garbage song compared to everything else we've gotten in Chapter 2. I said as much when I first talked about it.

Everybody can see what BigHit is going for here: a catchy summer pop tune to register enough in the wider American consciousness so the Academy sees a win for JK as the only reasonable option.

The mistake the suits in BigHit are making though, is that they've not first done the work to find out what will make a memorable mark in the American mainstream consciousness today. Is it a catchy, inoffensive, sugary song from another high-tenor male singer with his chest out and his pants saggy?

No.

People have made memes and compilations of that exact type of song. It's a working formula but, BigHit failed to note the sorts of artists that formula works for. For BTS, it's going to have to be something with more oomph. The problem for BTS is their fluency. They make sick music but converting that cadence and lyricism to English, can be difficult. Usually, this is where a good A&R guy would come in. Someone who has kept his fingers to the pulse to know what the public wants before they say it, someone who knows the people making the sort of engaging music BTS self-writes and produces. But so far that person has missed the mark.

Seven is a very well-made song. I actually stream it often for enjoyment now with the versions (Explicit, Band, and Festival mix), but American mainstream has heard a song exactly like it every year for something like 2 decades now. JK deserves better than that.

I'd have loved something grittier, maybe a song referencing cigarettes and blunts since he might be into that anyway. Like, JK can do angsty. We've seen him pour every emotion into those bunny eyes to steal hearts and attention. I wish they attempted something more daring than Seven for JK, though I understand why they ultimately chose it.

It'd be nice if they rethought their strategy IMO, because that's the only problem here. BTS have still got it. I just played, in order, RUN BTS, Dis-ease, FTMR, My Universe (Suga's remix) - all songs released in the middle of the PET, and they're all very good. Finding an English song with that spirit shouldn't be difficult for a skilled A&R agent. BigHit needs to get better bang for their buck.

The Grammys as an institution doesn't have the cache it used to. It very much is a local award, and my interest in continuing to know what goes on is tied only to the melodrama that is Bangtan's chances there. Plus a few other groups'. The Grammys are already so shit that if we're keeping it a buck, they deserve a song like Seven. Masterpieces like SMF Pt 2 and Change Pt 2 are beyond their range. That's music that's best heard in an arena, where you're surrounded by other fans and having the time of your life. That's not music you subject yourself to watching that stuffiness and ads marathons for.

Okay I'm rambling lol.

Anyway, Seven is what Jungkook got and he's done a phenomenal job with it. Opening a Tiktok account and using it to promote Seven was brilliant. His voice is very good on it and the choreo kinda slaps. So, not being a total grouch, I hope Jungkook gets some recognition. Seven has good chances and I hope it works out for him.

I'm not holding my breath though. If another group gets a nomination, I'm nearly certain they'll be winning it over JK. Just my little unpopular opinion.

I hope that regardless of what happens at the next Grammys, more ARMYs develop a firm apathy for anything related to it, regardless of whether results are positive or negative for BTS. This is getting to be a major drag when we should be focusing more and positively on the guys.

#bts #bts chapter 2 #kpop #jungkook #jk seven #grammys 2024 #jikook #bighit #bangtan #bang pd

[tojisbbg]

𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮

❝stay with me, as we cross the empty skies.❞

♡ eren jaeger ♡

sypnosis: they were soulmates that weren’t meant to be, at least not in this life. 

a/n: hii! i decided to switch it up a little with my usual content and write for the aot fandom (psstt, it’s the first anime fandom that i joined). for this particular post, please make sure to carefully read the warning as this will contain very sensitive and maybe triggering aspects. i don’t want to make anyone upset or uncomfortable. hope you guys enjoy it!

a/n (cont.): not gonna lie, i had to pause while writing this because of how bad it broke my heart. sorry, eren stans 😞 

14.1k words 

warnings: eren jaeger x reader, modern!au, in third person pov, deceiving fluff, heavy angst (sorry), hurt no comfort, mentions of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, brief mention of an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, suicide, not edited for grammatical errors.

---

a new beginning.

the unforgiving cold winter has finally subsided, letting the soft and gentle warmth of spring embrace the earth. a touch of tenderness as the youth played without a stop in the playground as careless parents continued to chat with each other.

spring was finally here.

people were joyous, excited for the warmer weather to come as families began to plan all the sites that they would like to visit for vacation. friends were making summer plans with each other on where their next hit party location would be, ready to get boozed up and wash away their misery by living their teenage years freely.

they were free, like a bird who was finally out of a cage and let into the wild. exactly where it belonged.

but, not everyone was up for new beginnings. chained and caged to their own minds, like ravaging beasts that tore their sanity to pieces.

a lonely girl was seen walking along the park's sidewalk, peacefully listening to her music as she carried her college textbooks and sketchbook in her arms.

she was a simple girl.

or so people thought as they walked past her. but who knew, that her mind was far from simple, a complex process of thoughts that haunted her every single day that she lived.

not paying too much attention to her surroundings, twenty-one-year-old y/n was strolling to her heart's content on a hill under a cherry blossom tree. it was days like this where she truly felt a wave of comfort towards her sanity, watching the cherry blossom trees slowly release the pretty pink petals, one by one.

it brought her peace to know that it wasn't only her that was slowly falling apart. the only difference was that the petals fell gracefully and beautifully.

while she fell apart in the most painful way that she knew.

y/n watched the kids playing tag in the distance, a smile tugging on the corner of her lips as she was overwhelmed with nostalgia.

oh, how free she used to be.

she could almost remember how the sun's warmth embraced her like a mother soothing her child to safety. but now, her whole body was sheathed with clothing, not exposing an inch of skin for the sun's rays to hug.

how y/n wishes that she could relive those days just once. but, life was far from fair.

shit, it's already four in the afternoon? i better get home quick before mom and dad start to worry about me.

she thought as she picked up her pace, not noticing the figure in front of her. she bumped into a hard chest, making the person groan in pain as y/n's eyes widened in panic and embarrassment while her books dropped to the ground.

"oh my god! i'm so sorry!" she quickly apologized, looking up to be met with the most beautiful pair of eyes that she has ever seen. she couldn't tell if it was a shade of teal or emerald green, but whatever it may be, they hypnotized her instantly.

"are you okay?" his voice sounded so smooth, just like honey. his eyes holding concern for the panicking girl as she slowly nodded her head.

"yeah, are you okay?" y/n asked, watching the boy give her an assuring smile.

"don't worry, i'm okay. oh, and so sorry for making you drop these." he said as he bent down, picking up the books and notes that the girl dropped. y/n on the other hand was too busy staring at him, he was just so beautiful.

he was wearing a black cardigan, a green t-shirt and brown slacks. such a simple style yet he looked so soft and warm. his brown hair was long and tied into a small bun in the back, a couple of loose strands falling to his forehead as his slender fingers scrambled around all over the place to pick up y/n's items.

"here you go, again, i'm so sorry about this. i should've moved out of the way when i saw you rush forwards." the beautiful boy said with guilt as he rubbed the back of his nape, handing her the heavy textbooks as both of their fingers brushed against each other. y/n quickly shook her head.

"no, don't worry about it. it was my fault too, and thank you for picking up my things." she said with a shy smile, making the boy nod his head as he put on his earbuds back in his ear, waving her goodbye before walking off.

y/n couldn't move from her spot, almost as if that gorgeous boy had an invisible string tied to her, dragging her soul with him. her mind couldn't get the image of him out.

with a sigh, she began to walk on the opposite direction which would lead her to her destination.

home.

with her mind running in many different places, another regret was added to her big list. she wished that she could've asked for his name, but it would seem creepy, so she didn't.

now you're just a part of my memory. will we ever meet again?

y/n wondered as she crossed the street.

---

"i'm home." she announced, but as expected, a response wasn't heard back. not that it was a surprise, her parents were never home.

always busy with work and more work. they missed every birthday, every thanksgiving, every christmas and every graduation, handing her bundles of cash as a way to pay off their debt of not being available for their only child.

y/n walked past the kitchen, noticing a small post-it note that informed her that money was left on the table so that she could order a pizza for lunch.

when even was the last time that she had a proper home cooked meal? she didn't know and she no longer cared.

it's not like she was hungry anyways.

trudging upstairs, she finally reached her room and opened her door to plop on her bed as she closed her eyes.

---

it's been a week since y/n had that small encounter with the boy. she's been going back to that park frequently in hopes of bumping into him once again, hoping to see him stroll nearby with his headphones plugged in.

but she didn't see him.

where are you? what are you doing right now?

she couldn't help but wonder, smiling as a small blush tinted her cheeks while she thought about how their hands touched for a brief moment. his skin was so warm and soft to the touch.

she could still remember his face as clear as day. strikingly beautiful teal orbs, glistening in the sun's brightness. brown locks that looked so soft to run her hands through.

and of course, she couldn't forget his warm smile that she was sure would make thousands of angels turn away in jealousy.

y/n's always has been a hopeless romantic, but she couldn't help herself from getting even more hopeless.

you are too perfect for me, and I am too imperfect for you.

she thought as she grabbed her sketchbook from her small desk.

although i may not know your identity or who you are, i am sure that i have met you in both a dream and real life.

she knew that she had to draw him.

---

night fell, a spine tingling breeze brushed past y/n as she began to walk through the empty trail of the park. it was deserted, not a single soul to be seen as the only source of light that illuminated the area was the moon itself and the streetlights.

the girl clutched onto her sketchbook and pencil tightly, mesmerized by the music playing in her ears.

pretty boy by the neighborhood.

it was a perfect song, made for the perfect boy that has been swarming around her mind for the longest.

she sat down on the grass under the cherry blossom tree, the petals once again falling on her head, which she didn't mind. before opening her sketchbook, she gazed at the sky that was littered with a couple of stars and the full moon.

suddenly, a shooting star passed by.

i wish you were here with me right now.

y/n silently prayed, her eyes closed as she smiled at the image of the boy her mind created once again.

you don't have to do anything, just be by my side and smile once more.

she opened her sketchbook, twirling the pencil around a bit in between her index and middle finger. the tip hit the paper as she began to make soft strokes, beginning to draw her most favorite feature of his.

his eyes.

the look of concern that he gave her was filled with so much warmth, it was something so precious to her, as nobody ever looked at her like that before.

you are precious to me.

y/n finished sketching the basic shape of his eyes, beginning to make the smaller details before she could start shading. at the same time, she could hear footsteps near her and the rustling of the soft grass.

but she didn't pay too much mind to it as she was busy fixing his eyebrows, but she kept her music low.

in the corner of her eyes, she saw the shadow of another person as they took a seat next to her. but, she was too occupied with her drawing to pay an ounce of attention.

"what are you drawing?" the person asked, the familiar honey like voice making her halt her movement, eyes widened as her body felt electricity run through it.

it was him, it had to be him.

she looked over to her side to spare a glance, her eyes meeting with the same boy that she had bumped into a week ago.

it really is you.

there he was, sitting by her side as he smiled at her once again. a contagious smile that outshone the hundreds of stars in the night sky.

"someone special." y/n cheekily responded, making the boy chuckle as a reaction.

you are special to me.

he once again plugged in his headphones and began to listen to his own music while the girl continued to draw.

it has been almost an hour, the clock inching towards midnight, as the two didn't exchange a single word afterwards. both were just sitting under the cherry blossom tree, next to each other's side, as they coped in their own way.

a girl who drew away all her pain within the fine lines that she stroked, and a boy who drowned all of his troubles in the sounds of the blasting music in his ears.

"i should get going, it's getting pretty late." he announced as he tapped the screen of his phone, making y/n look his way with innocent eyes.

"oh, right." she simply blurted out, losing track of time as she was so busy perfecting her sketch and savoring his presence next to her.

"what's your name?" he asked while standing up before extending a hand towards y/n, which she hesitantly took from how jittery he made her feel.

"y/n. yours?" she replied as she took a hold of his hands, loving the feeling of his skin on hers. such a warm touch that sparked fire throughout her body.

"that's a pretty name. mine is eren." he responded, making knots form in her stomach from the very many butterflies that swarmed inside from his compliment. goosebumps were sent all over her body from how beautiful his name was.

so short and simple yet it rolled off her tongue like a sweet melody.

eren.

a beautiful name for a beautiful person.

---

today was the beginning of a new week.

it was raining from last night, so y/n didn't have the chance to go to the park and meet with eren last night.

the spot under the cherry blossom tree would become their own little comfort circle, as the girl drew him while the boy listened to his music and imagined her face in his mind.

oh god, it was as if he was lovesick.

eren couldn't stop thinking about her since the day they both bumped into each other, feeling his heart combust from how cute she looked when flustered. her gentle soul calmed down his usually paranoid one.

y/n on the other hand, would steal a couple of glances at eren for the purpose of not only drawing him but to relax the fast pace of her beating heart.

every time she looked at him, she would only see him with his eyes closed as the soft breeze blew a couple of strands of hair to his closed eyes while he listened to his music.

she wanted to know what he was listening to with so much passion and emotion.

i'll ask you the next time i see you.

y/n noted before getting up from her bed, noticing that her snacks were finished. her parents were away on another business trip, which meant that they wouldn't be here until tomorrow.

she made sure to lock the main door behind her before she began to walk down the block where the nearest supermarket was located.

as y/n walked down the street, she noticed how empty the sidewalks were. it made her sad but feel comforted at the same time as the rain washed away all the burdensome thoughts that were pestering her mind.

her world has always been lonely, while she carried a heavy heart filled with pain and regret.

she felt hopeless and unwanted.

but how could she? she had everything a person could ever ask for.

a roof above her head, food on the table, parents that were more than financially stable and so much more. she had everything that a kid could ever dream of.

yet, why did she feel so lonely?

the type of loneliness that consumed y/n, suffocating her till she felt like she could no longer breathe. but, the presence of the people in her life felt more insufferable, as she felt like each one of them held imaginary guns to her head.

except for one person.

eren.

his presence made her feel wanted, she liked his presence better than being alone from the other people in her life.

entering the automated doors, she grabbed a red basket before heading towards the snacks aisle. there she threw in a couple of packs of rice balls, chips, candies and ice cream.

while she shuffled through the narrow paths, she didn't realize how her basket collided with someone else's. as she quickly turned around to apologize, her eyes were met with the beautiful boy once again.

"y/n?" eren asked, recognizing her as he turned to face her.

he was always the first one bumping into her.

was this fate?

"yeah, just came by to grab some snacks." she said with a giggle as she held up her basket.

"ohh, those are some great picks. i just came here to do some grocery shopping, you know, fill up the fridge again." he explained, making the girl nod her head in understatement.

she noticed how one of his earbuds were out, so that he could listen to her more carefully. mustering up the courage, y/n was about to open her mouth and ask him what he was listening to, only to be interrupted by a blonde by that was calling eren's name.

"i'm so sorry, i've got to go. my friend's calling me." eren said with an apologetic look, but y/n just gave him a soft smile.

"no worries, catch you later, eren." she said, purposely saying his name at the end, only to hear how beautifully it rolled off her tongue. they both waved each other goodbye as she watched his back walk towards the counter to pay for his items.

eren secretly cursed at his friend armin for ruining the moment, wishing that he could've chatted with her for a bit longer. he loved her presence, he felt an aura so powerful, almost like she was always there just to protect and accompany him from the world's cruel ways.

the both of them were falling for each other deeper than they could've ever imagined.

---

"y/n!" a loud voice boomed from downstairs, making the girl quickly tumble out of bed as she recognized the angry voice of her mother.

"yeah mom?" she responded while she headed downstairs, seeing the woman having both of her hands on her hips with a displeased face.

"honey, what is all of this?" y/n's mom questioned as she pointed at the white bag on the kitchen counter filled with the snacks that were bought by the younger girl yesterday. however, y/n just remained silent as she didn't know what to say to argue back with her mother.

it wasn't like it was a fight worth arguing for because in the end, her mother would always find a way to prove her point, whether it was reasonable or not.

"if you continue to eat like this, then you'll be needing a whole new pant size by next month." she chuckled, poking at the girl's stomach in a teasing manner, only for y/n to swat her mother's hand away. her mother frowned at the action, but shrugged it off.

"you could ignore me all you want, but i just want the best for my daughter. your cousin lost twenty pounds this month! isn't that so amazing?" her mother questioned, although her intentions were to rub it in her face, making y/n's heart pump faster as she could feel anxiety overwhelm her being. her body began to shake and palms began to sweat as it became harder to breathe.

she could feel tears well in her eyes, as she turned her back to walk back upstairs to her room. y/n refused to show her mother any kind of weakness, knowing well enough that it would be used against her.

"y/n? honey!" she could hear her mother yell for her, but continued to ignore her.

the weeping girl entered her room, sniffling and choking on her sobs. she felt pathetic, wondering why such trivial words always get to her.

but that was the problem, these words weren't trivial at all nor were they words of genuine concern from her mother. in fact, it wasn't just her mother but all of her relatives.

she entered her bathroom, looking at the huge mirror as she stared at her body.

she poked all around her body, feeling disgusted as the mirror continued to deceive her in the most crude ways possible. the voices in her head were sounding more like her mother and her annoying relatives that would continuously tell her to shed off some weight at every family gathering.

but what weight?

she was a perfectly healthy girl, even her doctors said that.

so why, just why couldn't they see that? why did they continue to call her such degrading names that rotted her ears or compare her body with girls that weighed less than her? why would they pinch the sides of her stomach and tell her to starve herself?

numbers on the scale that would determine her self-worth towards others, making her crumble to pieces. she went to bed with an empty stomach for days, just like how she did before, not wanting to add more calories to her body nor burden her parents by wasting their money.

why can't i be pretty?

i want to feel pretty.

am i not enough?

why do i feel so alone?

these questions taunted her mind, ripping her into shreds as she stared down at the white marbled tile floors in the bathroom. nothing was ever enough to satisfy her parents, there was always an issue to the point where y/n thought that maybe her birth was a mistake.

their expectations for her were above the roof, and that raised conflict against y/n's grades. she was an average student with a sharp mind, but to her parents it was the signs of a developing failure. they despised her major, not giving a single shit that it was her dream to pursue an art career.

another reason why she hated family reunions. her cousins were either successful doctors and business people, or they were in the process of reaching those goals. those shitty relatives of hers knew what she wanted to do in the future, but always asked regardless to make a joke out of her.

which is why she stopped attending, not caring that her relatives threw dirt on her parents for raising a disrespectful brat. anything in this whole world was better than hearing such heart-stabbing words from people who are your own blood, people who are supposed to be by your side no matter what.

through her blurry vision, she looked at the corner of her sink, noticing the small metal that was glistening under the light. y/n closed her eyes, trying to distract her mind to another path, not wanting to fall on the road of darkness once again. she's tried so hard to maintain a clean record, and she'd be ashamed of herself for breaking it.

but everyone had a breaking point, and y/n was no different.

a heavy sigh left her lips and she knew that she needed some kind of relief from all these thoughts that were buzzing around her mind like a bunch of annoying flies. and so, she allowed herself to be defeated.

all she ever wanted was for someone to notice that she was trying her best to satisfy the world to their pleasure.

---

eren sat on his bed, letting out a heavy sigh as he began to rub his temples. the boy was only twenty-one, yet he would stay up for days thinking about how he was gonna make his life work out.

bill after bill were piling up on the kitchen table, and it wasn't only housing bills. majority of the pile consisted of hospital bills due to eren's father being admitted, as the poor old man was diagnosed with heart disease about a year ago.

eren was devastated, unable to financially support himself or his sick father. he worked a job but it could only pay so much.

he threw the envelope to the side, grabbing his phone as he plugged in his earbuds before grasping the keys on the lamp table.

it was time for eren to put his mind at rest for the night.

---

the crisp air of tonight once again sent chills down y/n's spine while she walked inside the park. it was inching closer to midnight, the whole world was asleep except for two people.

the restless souls of a girl and boy who were slowly dying.

the girl began to walk up the small hill to where the large cherry blossom tree resided. there, she saw the outline of a figure already seated as when she got closer, she was met with eren.

they both greeted each other as y/n sat right next to him like usual before averting her gaze to her sketchbook. she began to open to the page that she was working on for about more than a week now.

that is until she felt a light tap on her shoulder, making her jolt as she was startled.

"yeah?" she asked as she glanced at eren, who now took off both of his earbuds while he turned his whole body towards her.

"sorry if i startled you, i just wanted to ask you if you wouldn't mind talking to me tonight? if you're not busy." he hesitantly asked with a small smile, making y/n's heart swell with warmth as she felt fuzzy inside.

"of course, i'd love that." y/n responded as she closed her sketchbook and placed it on the ground, planning to work on it later at home.

"you know, i didn't expect you to come here often, especially at such a late hour." eren commented, making the girl hum in response.

"same here. but, i usually come here to draw because sometimes the world could be so loud and you just need to take a step back to give yourself some time." she explained, making the boy nod his head in agreement.

"i get where you're coming from. oh my god, wait- i come here almost every night, am i a bother? im so-" eren began to ramble with panic, hating himself for invading her privacy without even asking her once if she was okay with it.

"no! please don't apologize, you're no bother at all. i actually enjoy your company a lot." y/n quickly cut him off, assuring that it was perfectly okay. she placed a gentle hand on his back, calming him down as he nodded with an exhale of relief.

she noticed how tense he was, always jumping to apologize for the smallest things and she couldn't help but wonder if he was okay. but, she decided to not ask as it was not her place to pry into his personal life.

after all, they were just two strangers who happen to find comfort in each other's presence during their darkest hours.

"i'm glad to know that you didn't find me creepy or anything. i usually come back here because it brings me peace to know that someone is by my side around this lonely hour." he admitted with a shy smile, making the girl blush.

and just like that, they began to exchange small talk with each other. talking about random things such as their favorite colors, clothing styles, and so on.

"march twentieth? aww, that means it already passed." y/n pouted in disappointment, making the boy chuckle.

"don't worry, i don't really do anything for my birthday either way." he said, his tone laced with a hint of sadness.

"if it makes you feel any better, i sleep the whole day away. not much of a party person, you know?" she attempted to make the mood lighter.

"i guess us meeting each other was destiny, huh? we both connect so well." eren added, making her giggle from his words.

a playful destiny that they both didn't know what they were getting themselves into. they crossed in each other's paths, weaving themselves into each other's hearts and mind.

"can i ask you something, if you don't mind?" y/n asked, playing with her fingers as her nerves were practically killing her at the moment.

"of course, what's up?" eren softly said, noticing how fidgety she was in front of him.

"what song are you listening to?" she asked her burning question, but it came out to be more like a mumble.

"ah, this? well, i listen to many songs by various different artists. but there's this one particular song that is very dear to my heart and it's called je te laisserai des mots by patrick watson. the song reminds me of my mother." eren mentioned, showing her his screen which had the pop-up of the song's cover picture.

"oh, i see. what happened to her?" y/n nonchalantly blurted, regretting her words immediately as she quickly slapped a hand on her mouth.

"sorry, that was such a personal question." she quickly tried to amend her words, but eren shook his head.

"no worries, you're fine. my mother passed away about three years ago from leukemia." he said with a sad smile, his words came out much softer than before, almost like a whisper as he harshly gulped.

y/n's eyes widened, her heart softening as she saw the boy trying to maintain a strong character.

"i'm so sorry, eren." was the only thing she could say, wishing that she could somehow make him feel better.

eren began to tell her how the song was about leaving letters under the door, during the night when the whole world turned silent. two lovers that would heal each other through their sweet words of nothings and secret communication, waiting for the perfect moment to embrace and kiss each other.

the song sounded beautiful, making y/n want to listen to it right now. eren took the phone out of her hands, the two seconds of skin contact making y/n's heart almost jump out of her chest. he found the song on youtube and added it to her playlist.

eren's mother would always tell him stories of how everyone in the world was created in pairs and that he soon will find his other half.

but who knew, that the universe would play a cruel card on the poor boy by making him meet her at the wrong time.

"your mother sounds like a lovely woman and this song sounds just as lovely as her." y/n commented, making eren's lips curl into a smile, the strings of his heart being tugged by how gentle she was with him.

"she really was." he sighed out, a whimper leaving his mouth as the girl turned to face him. there she saw his face, coated with tears as they spilled from his gorgeous eyes.

y/n's heart clenched in pain, unable to take in the sight of eren crying in front of her. her hands were getting clammy and shaky as she didn't know how to approach him. she sucked in a breath, screwing everything to hell.

y/n leaned forwards, making eren look up at her with glossy red eyes. god, he looked so ethereal, so beautiful as the pale moonlight shone over his face. the girl only managed to nod at him before pulling him to her chest, allowing him to sob all of his pain on her.

"all these years, i've been so alone. always wondering, just when will it all get better? but it never did, false hope is much more painful than anything else in the world." he choked out, salty tears wetting her shirt.

y/n couldn't help but let her own tears roll down her rosy cheeks, sniffling as she heard the boy tell her his story. the story of the boy whom she presumed to be free from the world's hellish ways, when in reality, he was just like her.

chained to his own torturous mind.

and that's when y/n realized, how similar their worlds were. she thought that she lived in a world where only she existed, falling deeper into the void of nothing but darkness.

but now, he was in her world and made it feel less empty.

the girl placed both of her palms on the sides of his wet face, soft and tender fingers brushing against his skin to wipe away his tears as she looked at him with the most adoring and gentle eyes.

"you're not alone anymore, eren. i'm here with you now." y/n assures before placing her forehead on his, feeling his warm breath against her own. eren began to relax into her hold, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her in tighter, inhaling her scent which continued to intoxicate his mind like a drug.

and just like that, they both became each other's one and only.

---

both eren and y/n exchanged their numbers, texting each other almost daily. they both were holding onto a thread where they pulled on each end. of course, they continued to meet up exactly around midnight under the same cherry blossom tree.

it was raining outside, which meant that y/n would stay home tonight. she loved the rain as it would bring her a sense of home of the home that she never had. the sky was crying, a beautifully tragic scene as the sky was also home to the stars, something so beautiful yet painfully sad.

it showed that no matter how much you shine and seem to be so flawless, inside, there will always be a piece of sorrow that no one wants to show.

this would perfectly describe both eren and y/n. they were both a tragically beautiful piece of a suicidal work of art.

perfectly imperfect together.

y/n walked downstairs with her sketchbook in hand, wanting to continue her drawing of eren as she placed the book on the dining table. once again plugging in her headphone, she began to go through her playlist to find the song that eren recommended her.

that was until chaos broke.

"y/n!" her father angrily yelled into the room, making the poor girl look up at the man in both panic and fear. she wasn't necessarily close with either parents, but her father always managed to scare her from how strict and neutral his face would always be.

she couldn't even remember the last time that she hugged him or even had a normal conversation with him.

"you good for nothing of a child! i just got your semester's report card in the mail today and you're still in that useless art major? the hell is this y/n! haven't i advised you many times to take a business course?" her dad scolded her, making her tremble on her spot as the man's face turned red.

"i'm not interested in business, dad. i have a passion for art and would like to continue doing so. but if you can't accept that, then i don't have anything else to say to you." she harshly spoke up, glaring at the man as her dad's eyes widened.

"since when have you learned to talk back to me so rudely, huh? fine, do what you want. but when things don't go the way you wanted, don't come running back to us because these doors are gonna be closed for you, for good." he deadpanned, facial expressions remaining calm yet his words were like a bunch of knives, stabbing y/n's already aching heart a thousand times.

she was still their kid, how could they say such a thing? parents were expected to encourage their kids and be their backbone, but every time that y/n spoke to hers, she wished that she never had any to begin with.

"i see." was the only thing she blurted before resuming to put her headphones in, ignoring her father's presence. he scoffed in disbelief before walking towards his daughter, harshly grabbing the wires of the headphones.

"what the fuck is your problem, man?" y/n angrily scowled, watching her father throw the headphones on the ground before stomping on it. she watched them break, knowing well enough that she won't be able to buy new ones any time soon.

"there you go, now let's see how you'll ignore my words. god, why did i ever even decide to have a kid. a pain in my ass." he muttered the last sentence under his breath, yet the words rung clear in y/n's head as tears brimmed in her eyes.

without a second thought, the girl grabbed her sketchbook and pencil before storming out the door. she heard her father yell, but she no longer cared, all she wanted to do was leave.

she wanted to leave her home, her parents and she wanted to leave this world.

i hate this! i hate this so much! i want to leave, leave everyone and this fucking world. go to hell, for fucks sake.

she thought as she ran through the pouring rain, not caring that her clothes were drenched and her hair was sticking to her forehead. it was so hard to deal with her conflicting emotions every day, living through random waves of sadness and loneliness.

y/n's sketchbook had a leather cover, but she still shoved it inside her shirt in fear of it getting wet and destroyed. she found herself walking along the same path of the park as she kept on walking closer to the cherry blossom tree.

she plopped on the grass, crying out as she looked at her knees. she felt hopeless and desperate, wishing that she could somehow change her life.

if only she could turn back time, then would everything change? if she did listen to her parents and followed their every order like a dog, then would they perhaps love her more?

all she wanted was some affection and care. is she not even worthy of that?

she heard the heavy raindrop noise pitter-pattering on a hard surface as she no longer felt the drops hitting her body. she looked forwards to see a pair of legs, an umbrella that was now shielding her from the cold rain.

"y/n?" a voice called out, tone dripping with concern as she knew that voice.

the voice that would always make her days, soothe her sanity and calm down her racing heart.

"eren." she whispered, a small smile making its way to her lips as she crouched her head. eren let go of the umbrella, dropping to his knees in front of her before cradling her in his arms while the girl cried on his chest in the pouring rain. her fists grabbed onto his shirt as she choked on her tears, whimpers leaving her mouth.

he was always here for her, coming to her during the times that she needed someone the most. he was there to give her a shoulder to cry on, wrap around his arms to bring her a sense of warmth and comfort and most of all, he was there to smile for her.

his smile that gave her some hope in continuing life, just so that she could wake up every day and look forward to seeing that gorgeous smile.

"what happened, y/n?" eren softly asked, hesitating in his mind a bit on whether or not he should ask but he did anyways. he wanted to help her, he'd do anything for her if it meant that she'd feel an inch better than she was feeling right now.

"please, just take me home, eren." she whispered against the flesh of his neck, making the boy pinch his eyebrows together in confusion.

"i don't know where you live though." he answered, but the girl shook her head.

"i'll go wherever you go, eren. that's my home, you're my home." she mumbled in his shirt, making his heart skip multiple beats and he didn't know if it was from her words or from how her lips were grazing against his collarbones.

"okay, let's go." eren nodded his head before picking up the exhausted girl in his arms as he began to walk to his house.

---

"if you need anything, just let me know, hm?" eren informed as he handed y/n a pair of his pants and a t-shirt. the girl nodded before walking inside the bathroom to change out of her soaking clothes while eren sat in his room waiting for her.

after a couple of minutes, y/n walked out and noticed that eren also changed out of his wet clothes. sighing out heavily, she took a seat next to him on his bed.

"what were you doing out in the pouring rain, y/n? you're going to get sick." he said with a frown, caressing her cheeks softly.

"i'm already sick eren, what's a little rain gonna do to me?" she responded with a bitter chuckle, making the boy look at her with curious eyes.

"y/n.." eren trailed off, watching the girl in front of him fall to pieces.

"no, i shouldn't be feeling this way. it's pathetic, what do i have to be sad about? i have both of my parents, a house, food on the table, and so much more. but even with all that, why do i feel so miserable, eren? please, i need an answer. i can't stop feeling this wave of hatred for myself." y/n spoke as her voice cracked towards the end, eyes desperately searching eren's for some kind of solution.

"you have every right to feel this way, y/n. if it hurts you, then it hurts. your feelings are valid just like anyone else's." eren softly told her, words as delicate as a feather as he was afraid that she would break under his touch.

he was an angel, listening to her every word with deep care and attention.

he was her angel.

"they were never here for me. i've spent the last twenty-one years all alone, every birthday, every christmas and every graduation. they could never make any time for me, am i not worth their time? am i that burdensome?" y/n questioned, wetting eren's perfectly dried shirt as the boy continued to rub her back in a soothing manner.

"i would swim across the seven seas if it meant to spend just a minute with you." eren said, making her breath hitch as she looked up at him only to have him look down at her with the most pure and soft eyes.

"no, i don't deserve your time, eren. you deserve someone better, someone prettier and someone who's flawless. i'm not the one." she painfully spoke, each word breaking her heart even more.

"but you're an angel, y/n. a breathtakingly beautiful angel. everyone has their own flaws, it's what makes them special. and the both of us, we're beautifully broken together." eren said with glossy eyes before planting a chaste kiss on her forehead.

and after so many lonely years later, y/n finally felt wanted and cared for, just as she desired with all her heart.

---

it's been about two weeks since y/n has been living with eren. her parents still haven't come looking for her, not that she cared. even if they were to come and demand her to go home, she knew that she wouldn't oblige.

the moments that she spent with eren felt like a dream, too good to be true. he was the only one who was able to make her lonely world feel like it was alive. he was the light that shone bright in the deep and dark caverns of her soul.

he gave her a purpose.

and just like that, she gave him a reason to continue. she was his anchor, the one holding the pieces of his sanity together.

y/n has just finished her drawing of eren, staring at it every night after the lights went out and eren left to go sleep on the couch. the drawing was perfect and beautiful, just like the inspired model himself.

secretly, y/n has been saving up for a special surprise for eren. after running away from home, her parents stopped putting money in her bank account, so with whatever she had left, she tried her best to help eren out and use it for her surprise.

she pulled out the small red box before opening it, hearing the beautiful melody. it was a customized music box that had the same tune playing of eren's favorite song.

je te laisserai des mots by patrick watson.

y/n placed it in the gift bag along with the drawing of eren, and now all she had to do was look for eren himself.

she got up from the bed, feet shuffling as she exited the room to look for the brunet. but, he was nowhere to be seen. lost in confusion, she followed her instincts and went outside.

y/n let out a breath of relief as she noticed the figure in the distance, slightly jogging up to him before hugging his back.

"eren! i-" her words were short-lived as her nose burned with the foul smell of cigarettes. shocked, she quickly pulled away and forced eren to face her.

"eren, what are you doing?" she quickly blurted out before grabbing the cancerous stick out of his mouth, throwing it on the floor as she stepped on it.

"i don't know what to do anymore, y/n." eren sighed out, before collapsing into her arms as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. naturally, she wrapped her arms around his neck as she stroked his hair.

"it's okay, i'm here." she quietly assured.

"my father's condition is getting worse and the doctors told me that if i can't pay his hospital bills within the next month, then all of his medical treatment will eventually be stopped." he mumbled into her neck, trying to explain the situation to the girl.

y/n was frozen, immobile in her tracks as she felt eren's tears hit her skin. she didn't know what to do, she didn't have enough money on her to help the boy out with his father.

"i could get a second job, eren. we could make this work, don't lose hope, alright? i'm here with you no matter what." y/n murmured against his hair before kissing his forehead.

"i'm so sorry you had to see me like that. i just need something to get my mind off of that, you know?" he tried to defend himself as guilt washed over his face.

"you don't need to apologize, eren. but please, don't smoke anymore. share it with me, let me take some of the load. i don't want you to suffer alone." she caressed his face, making eren smile at her as he wondered to himself what he ever did to deserve someone like y/n.

"thank you for being so kind to me. i promise, i won't smoke anymore." he vowed, making the girl nod her head.

"oh right, i forgot to ask you. i'm gonna go see my mother later on, would you like to meet her?" eren offered and without hesitation, y/n nodded her head.

"i'd love to meet her, eren!" she exclaimed, hugging the boy once again in content as he chuckled in reaction.

"then let's go meet her together!" eren sang out before taking a hold of her soft hands as they both began to walk.

---

"hey mom." eren said with a cheeky smile, sitting next to the gravestone as he stroked it gently. y/n took a seat next to him, carefully watching the boy talk to his mother.

"sorry for not coming so often, dad's bills are skyrocketing and he himself isn't doing so well. ah, how could he be so selfish? he's getting ready to see you way too soon." he spoke with a shaky voice, trying to keep his composure, although his voice kept cracking from the immense amount of pain he was feeling.

but, that wasn't until he felt two smaller arms wrap around his torso as the girl leaned into his chest.

"nice to meet you, mrs. jaeger. i'm y/n." she simply introduced herself, making eren smile like a fool in love.

i've found my other half, mom.

eren silently thought, hoping that his words were able to reach his mother. he watched the girl talking with his mother, telling her about her childhood and how much he meant to her.

"i promise you, mrs. jaeger, i'll go into space to bring the stars for your son if i have to." she whispered before place a small kiss on the stone.

---

"what's this?" eren innocently asked, pointing to the gift bag that rested on his bed. y/n grinned as she ushered him to open it.

"a surprise." y/n whispered into his ears before pressing a small kiss on his temple, making the boy blush from the sudden action.

he dug inside the bag and pulled out the music box, opening it as the tune began to play. his eyes widened in shock, looking at y/n.

"is this actually for me?" he asked to be sure, and the girl nodded her head.

"yup! just for you." she chirped with a grin. eren continued to look in the bag and pulled out the portrait of himself.

"you were working on me the whole time?" he gasped, amazed at how beautifully she drew him.

"i started this portrait ever since we've first bumped into each other. you were just so gorgeous that i couldn't help myself." y/n embarrassingly admitted, making eren grab her face with the palm of his hands.

"it's beautiful, thank you so much, my little angel." the nickname sent tight knots being tied all over y/n's body, the familiar warm and fuzzy feeling making her chest tighten.

"you really like it?" she asked and eren gave her a soft smile.

"i love it, and to show you my gratitude, would you be up for going to the summer festival with me tomorrow?" he invited her with a small smirk, making heat rush up to her cheeks.

was this a date?

y/n's thoughts were swarming in her head, all running in different directions.

"of course." she responded before pulling him in for another hug.

she could never have enough of him and the way they both loved each other started to scare them, as they were becoming afraid to lose one another.

---

it was a beautiful sight.

colorful lights decorating the streets and the huge park, fairy lights wrapped all around the branches of the cherry blossom trees. along with the that, the delicious smell of the various snacks in each vendor was enough to make both y/n and eren hungry. but, they just got here and they still have the whole night to spend.

"can you believe that this would happen every year and each year i would stay home?" y/n scoffed in disbelief, making eren hum in response as he watched the flock of people shuffling around.

"well, now the both of us are here for the first time! since i've never been to one either." eren said as he took a hold of her hand, swinging it back and forth as they began to look around.

little kids were running around like a couple of wild rabbits, swirling the lit up balloons or the animal shaped balloons in the air. y/n looked around, noticing how they had stalls where you could get your face painted into different animals and such.

the area was radiating with nothing but positive vibes, euphoric energy as screams of fear could be heard in the distance. they placed a few rollercoasters this year too.

"so, what would you like to do first?" he asked, pulling her closer to his chest as his warmth engulfed her being.

"let's go ride that!" y/n's eyes lit up as she pointed to a ride that had a huge slope and although eren looked at it with hesitant eyes, he wanted to fulfill her request.

"well then, your wish is my command." eren said in a cheesy manner, making the girl become flustered as she playfully smacked his chest, the both of them erupting into a fit of laughter.

it was nights like these that made the both of them truly feel alive.

the wait in line wasn't too long as the festival just started and people started to come in, so both eren and y/n got into an empty cart pretty easily. the workers buckled them up securely before giving them a thumbs up, indicating that they were ready for the ride.

it started, y/n could feel the thumping of her heart get louder as the ride slowly began to inch towards the top. eren on the other hand, gulped harshly as he glanced at y/n who also shared the same fearful look.

no, i have to be a man.

eren mentally scolded himself before clearing his throat.

"if you feel scared, you could always hold onto my hand." he offered, making the girl scoff as she rolled her eyes.

"do you think of me as a wimp?" she argued back, making eren hum.

"hmm, we'll see." he teased before sticking out his tongue at her.

they finally reached the top and all the pride and courage in the both of them were soon nowhere to be found. they stopped right at the top as both y/n and eren's eyes were shut closed.

"are you ready y/n?!"

"hell no! are you ready eren?!

"no! but let's be ready together, yeah?!"

"okay!"

and with that being said, the ride went down the slope at an unbelievably fast pace, making the both of them scream their lungs off. facing his fear, eren opened his eyes only to laugh in disbelief at the sight.

they were up so high on the second slope as he quickly looked at his right side, watching the girl scream with her eyes tightly screwed shut.

"y/n! open your eyes!" eren quickly blurted out, but she violently shook her head.

"i can't!" y/n yelled back.

"you can! just trust me!" eren assured, holding her hand and gave it a small squeeze. feeling reassured by his words and frail touch, the girl opened her eyes and gasped.

"holy fuck! we're so up high!" y/n said, although it was obvious. the ride was scary yet beautiful, it would stop at the top from time to time to give the riders time to appreciate the scenery.

from up top, you could the decorated park and the people on the bottom sprawled everywhere like a bunch of little dolls. the night sky was a bit cloudy as she could see a bunch of lanterns being prepared for later on.

"last one, y/n. let's do it together again!" eren shouted with a small smile as he intertwined his fingers with hers once again, before they both let out a shriek while the ride went down the last slope and loop.

"that was awesome!" y/n exclaimed like a little kid as they both got off the ride, the girl stumbling a bit as eren was quick enough to catch her back.

"mhm, we could ride it once more before we leave." eren casually said as the girl nodded her head eagerly.

"let's have some ice cream." y/n suggested and eren nonchalantly nodded his head before he was being pulled away by the girl to the stall.

they both got a cone and began to eat the cold sweet dessert. they both looked at each other with wide eyes from how good the soft dairy treat tasted.

"this is good." eren complimented as he began to devour the cone, basically. y/n chuckled at how messy he was being, the sides of his lips covered with the vanilla ice cream.

"wait, you got a little something here." she said as she took her thumb and swiped it across his lips, making eren freeze at the sudden contact. he was flustered at how soft her thumb pads felt against his lips.

"thanks." he breathed out before they both continued to eat their ice cream.

as they both continued to walk in between many people, y/n couldn't help but wonder if life has always been like this.

the people here seemed like they were on some kind of laughing or happy gas, not an inch of sadness or misery being expressed in their facial expression. for once in her life, she genuinely felt happy.

and it was all because of eren, her one and only.

he was her special person, the only person in her life. his contagious smile was the only thing that could make her stomach do somersaults and make her heart skip so many beats at a single time.

she loved him and it was undeniable.

"these are pretty." eren pointed at the stall that was selling rings. they were beautifully decorated with stones of all colors and the bands were engraved with roses.

"what a lovely couple you both are. would you like to buy a pair of our special rings?" the lady asked and eren contemplated for a while.

"which one do you think looks better, y/n?" eren indecisively asked for an opinion while shifting his gaze towards the girl.

"that one." she pointed at the rings that didn't have a colored stone on top of it and instead were just the bands that were encrusted with the roses.

"i think so too. we'll have that please." eren politely said as the lady began to box up the rings while he handed her the money.

the both of them made their way to their usual spot, which is underneath their cherry blossom tree. there wasn't anyone there as most people were busy taking pictures of themselves near the other trees or by the riverside.

both eren and y/n sat down on the grass, the girl resting her head on his shoulder as a smile of content was plastered on her face.

"what's up with that sudden pretty smile?" eren asked with a cocked eyebrow, making y/n giggle.

"oh, nothing. it's just, i haven't felt like this in ages." she replied, making eren snake his arms around her waist to pull her in closer.

"well, i'm glad that you're enjoying yourself." he commented before pressing a kiss on the top of her head. eren was about to grab her hand to hold it, but he didn't notice that she was leaning forwards and accidentally grabbed her wrist instead.

unexpectedly, y/n let out a loud yelp as eren looked at her with horror. y/n quickly shut herself up, sucking in the tears that threatened to spill before nervously glancing at the petrified boy, who didn't know what he did wrong.

"i'm so sorry y/n, oh my god." eren quickly apologized, making her shake his head to calm his panic down.

"no, no, no, you did nothing wrong." y/n quickly assured, but that wasn't enough to convince eren. the boy saw her sleeves being raised, noticing the thin lines on her flesh. he softly took a hold of her arm as the girl looked at him with wide eyes.

"eren-"

he pulled up her sleeves, gasping as he slapped his hand over his mouth to prevent himself from uttering another word. her wrists were full of slits, they were old scars which were done when she used to live with her parents.

y/n nervously chewed on her bottom lip, palms becoming sweaty as she continued to watch eren examine her arm without a single word.

"i'm sorry, i know they're ugly." she said, slowly now becoming insecure of the marks as she attempted to slip her hand away to once again cover them. but, eren pulled her arm back before holding it up to his face.

"who said that?" eren whispered under his breath before pressing a soft kiss on the cut flesh, making the girl slightly wince in pain but it was bearable.

"y/n, each one of these scars, tells me that you survived every battle. you wanna know how? it's because right now, you're sitting right next to me, happy and breathing." he once again spoke before planting another tender kiss on her scars, peppering each one of them with the gentle kisses lightly.

y/n could feel her eyes become watery as it was becoming overwhelming. never in her life has she been handled this delicately, like a fragile piece of glass. but eren, he treated her like nobody ever did before.

his love for her was nothing but pure and genuine.

"eren?" she called out his name, a word that she would never get tired of saying.

"yes my little angel?" he answered, looking at her with anticipating eyes.

"i love you." y/n blurted out the three words from the bottom of her heart, looking into his eyes with nothing but a lovesick expression.

"i love you too." eren replied before leaning his face closer to hers until there was no space left between the both of them. y/n closed her eyes, feeling both of their noses brush against each other as their breaths mingled.

in mere seconds, their lips connected as they began to move on their own. eren's hands were at the sides of her face while her hands were entangled with the soft brown locks.

it truly felt like heaven on earth.

their souls intertwined together, becoming one, as the feverish kiss left them almost breathless as they both kissed each other as if it was their last.

eren tilted his head, trying to get a better angle as her lips were slightly gape, taking this as an opportunity to slide his tongue in. y/n felt eren stealing all the oxygen in her lungs from the kiss, pulling the boy closer to her even though it wasn't physically possible. she grabbed onto his shirt, body trembling with the overwhelming feeling of the sparks set inside her heart. his hands moved down to rub her back as y/n suddenly smiled, making eren smile against her lips as well.

they were made for each other.

---

eren took out the box that contained the two rings, gently grabbing her ring finger before sliding it on. y/n found it cheesy, the whole promise ring concept, but she couldn't deny the fact that it made her feel special.

he always managed to make her feel special no matter what.

she took the other ring and grabbed eren's hand, sliding the rose encrusted band on his ring finger as he grinned like an idiot.

"this is a token of my undying love for you." he vowed before locking his fingers together with hers, bringing it up to his face to kiss both of the cold metals.

"what did i ever do to deserve such a precious person?" y/n thought out loud, making eren let out a faint chuckle before he tucked the loose strands of hair behind her ear.

"we'll heal together, my love." eren promised before kissing the bridge of her nose, sending her sanity over the edge as y/n felt like she was on cloud nine.

"okay, let's do that." she agreed with a nod, reciprocating the same action as she kissed the bridge of his nose.

it was almost as if all their troubles and worries melted into puddles of nothing. they were living in a fairytale, a world where only they existed.

she was his princess and he was her prince charming, saving her from the world's harsh ways.

y/n got up, picking some flowers from the cherry blossom tree while the boy innocently watched her with doey eyes. she came behind him and planted the small flowers into his bun.

"pretty flowers for a pretty boy." y/n said with a wide grin, making eren become bashful from the sweet gesture. so, in return, he did the same.

eren picked some flowers, just as she did and placed them in his lap as he sat behind her. y/n's hair was out, making it much more accessible for eren to braid her hair. after he was done braiding her hair, he placed each cherry blossom flower in the slits of the braid.

"pretty flowers for my pretty princess." eren commented as he looked at his work proudly, making the girl gasp with amazement.

"jeez, i never knew you were this good with hair! you made me look like an actual princess." y/n compared and complimented the boy.

"i used to braid my mom's hair a lot, so i kinda know the ways." he said with a small wink, making the girl laugh.

"attention ladies and gentlemen! the sky lantern show will be starting soon, it's a sight you wouldn't wanna miss!" a loud voice roared through the whole area as a short man spoke through the megaphone.

"my lady?" eren dramatically asked as he nudged his arm to link with hers.

"why of course, my good sir." she played along, making them both laugh at their childish behavior.

the both of them didn't want the night to end. it was as if they were reborn tonight and were given a second chance to relive everything all over again, with each other. every mistake, every regret and every ounce of loneliness that they every felt were gone, as if it never even happened.

both eren and y/n walked to the riverside, watching it slowly becoming crowded with people.

"get your lanterns here! get your lanterns!" they heard a person repeat over and over again, peering at the stall a couple of steps ahead. they both shrugged at each other and headed in that direction as the old man gave them a small smile.

"my, my, it truly is summer, huh? the youth have found love and it is blossoming just like the rest of the spring flowers." he commented with a hearty chuckle before handing eren a lantern, explaining the instructions to him.

"oh, and here is a marker, my dear. you could write a small message before you release your lantern." the old man told y/n as the girl took his offer and thanked him.

were people always this nice?

y/n thought to herself as she began to walk by eren's side, the both of them getting closer by the river. they sat down on the cemented edge, feet dangling off.

"what should we write?" y/n thought out loud, asking eren for any ideas, but the boy was also thinking.

"i think i have it!" the girl suddenly outbursted, eren handing her the paper lantern to let her write.

no matter how far apart we are, in every new life that we enter, we will find each other once again.

- eren and y/n, forever

"sounds great!" eren exclaimed as he began to start the fire that would blow the lantern all the way up in the sky. thousands of them were already decorating the sky, lighting up the whole area.

"you ready?" he asked the girl while holding on to the lantern securely so that it doesn't go flying up in the air beforehand.

"mhm." she hummed in response as she placed her hands on top of his.

"then let's release it on the count of three." eren suggested.

"1... 2... 3...!"

both of them let the paper lantern go as it began to float up, innocent and curious eyes trailing behind the lantern as they watched it like a bunch of little kids. they continued to watch the very many colored lanterns being released, ranging from all different shapes and sizes.

"eren! eren! look, our lantern is still flying up!" y/n pointed out as she bounced a bit, pointing at the lantern that flew the highest from the rest.

"must be a sign that our message will come true." eren said before kissing her neck, tickling her flesh as the girl let out a small giggle.

"of course, after all, you and i share the same soul. we're meant to be." she said with glimmering eyes before leaning in to kiss eren once again.

and as if on cue, they could hear fireworks being set off somewhere far in the distance.

tonight truly felt magical.

---

it was the next morning, late noon to be exact. both eren and y/n were still fast asleep as they got home pretty late last night. love struck and unable to let go of each other, they both ended up sharing the bed, tucked away in each other's warmth.

so, here they both were, sleeping in each other's arms. y/n's head rested on eren's chest while his arms were laced around her waist protectively, afraid that she'd run away from him. their legs were entangled together, while y/n's other arm draped over his torso.

soft snores of their peaceful slumber could be heard as the house was silent.

but, who knew that it would only take a matter of seconds to change everything? fate, something so powerful yet so destructive at the same time.

the ringing of eren's phone woke him up, as the still dazed boy let out a groan of annoyance. he carefully turned over to his side, not wanting to wake up the sleeping girl in his arms.

it was an unknown number.

not thinking much of it, eren accepted the call and placed it on his ear before clearing his throat.

"hello?" eren quietly asked in a groggy voice.

"is this the son of grisha jaeger?" the feminine voice questioned from the other line, making eren's mind become more alert.

"yes, this is him." he seriously answered, only to hear a brief pause from the other side. eren could feel his nerves driving him off the edge, his heart pumping faster from how anxious he felt. he wasn't too religious, but that didn't stop him from praying to whatever god that was up there that the lady wasn't about to tell him what he thinks she's about to tell him.

please, please, just not right now. i can't do this, i was having so much fun last night. why? why now?!

"this is the hospital that your father has been admitted to. we would like to send our condolences to you, your father has passed away this morning around eight-thirty. again, we are very sorry, but we tried everything that we could." her words felt like they were getting farther away, his mind becoming blank.

"hello? hello? mr. jaeger? hel-"

eren pressed the red button on the bottom, his breathing becoming irregular as he tried his best to calm down, looking at the sleeping angelic figure next to him.

y/n, if i told you about all the thoughts running in my head right now, would you be able to catch each one of them and make them disappear?

he wondered, caressing her soft skin while she quietly snored on his chest in complete oblivion. the boy could feel a rush of tears threatening to spill as he tried to discreetly let y/n off of him. being successful, he was able to slip out of the covers.

eren left his room, sitting in the sofa as he let out a sob, unable to contain his tears anymore as he cried in the palm of his hands.

what kind of son was he? his parents gave him the blessing of living a life as freely as he wanted, he found his other half and lived his best moments.

the least he could've done was gather some money and help his dying father. but, he couldn't even do that. now, what could guarantee him that he would be able to take care of y/n for the rest of his life?

how would he be able to provide for her when he can't even assure himself that he'll be able to pay for next month's rent? his life savings were practically all dumped to the hospital as he begged them to have mercy on him and help his father.

but who cared? the world revolved around money and whether you were family or a stranger, no one had the time to be charitable.

eren took the hem of his shirt and wiped away his tears, sniffling as he dragged himself up to go back to his room. his eyes once again gazing over to the sleeping figure.

a smile tugged on the corner of his lips as he inched closer to the bed, bending down to her eye level as he took note of her features once again. he could never get tired of looking at her, she was an angel to say the least.

the way her bangs would occasionally fall on her eyes, soft pale cheeks that would turn into a rosy shade whenever he managed to fluster her, plump lips that eren would always ponder about kissing as he would kiss her over and over again as many times as she would want him to and her beautiful eyes. her hazel brown eyes that would become a shade lighter in the sun, looking up at him with the purest look ever.

she was his little angel.

eren could feel a second wave of tears threatening to spill from his eyes, but he sucked them back in, not wanting the wet drops to fall and awaken her. he leaned over, pressing a delicate kiss on her forehead before giving her a sad smile.

i'll see you later my love.

the words in his head already sounded painful enough, as eren never thought about the day where he would have to tell such a tragic goodbye to his one and only. but deep down, he knew that he wasn't for her.

she deserved someone better, someone whom she could strongly lean on without any fear. and to his dismay, he was a coward.

he walked towards his dressing table and took a hold of the music box, smiling at the small gift which he held dear to his heart. with clammy and shaky hands, he opened his drawer as he gulped harshly.

i'm so sorry, y/n.

---

y/n woke up, a smile on her face as she stretched out her limbs. life felt good, she's finally found the purpose to keep moving forwards. she was happy to embark her new journey with eren, the love of her life.

speaking of eren, where was he?

the girl opened her eyes, looking over to the side only to be left disappointed as the brunet was nowhere to be seen.

maybe he was in the living room.

she assured herself, sliding out of the covers as her feet shuffled against the wooden floor, creaking a bit. y/n noticed that the music box that she gave him wasn't on the dressing table as she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

the hell was going on?

she wondered as she began to search all the rooms in hopes of bumping into the beautiful boy.

"eren?" y/n called out, but a response wasn't heard as the silence of the house was almost too loud for her ears. the atmosphere began to thicken, her heart racing in panic as she couldn't find eren anywhere.

she sat on the sofa, trying to think of some solution on where he might be. the first place that she could think of was the park as maybe he went there for a stroll, but the park was closed today since the summer festival took place last night.

it's worth a shot.

she thought to herself as she opened the main door, locking it behind as she began to walk to the park. it wasn't a long distance, pretty nearby, if she'd say so herself. the neighborhood was pretty quiet around here as people were still at home right now.

y/n silently prayed to find the boy under the cherry blossom tree, sitting down while leaning against it as he listened to his music.

she finally reached the park, jumping over the gated entrance as she began to walk in. she really hoped to find eren here as she committed something kind of illegal just now.

as she walked up the hill, she noticed a figure in the distance as she squinted her eyes to get a better look.

"eren?" she called out to him once again and the head turned towards her direction this time, looking over to her face. as y/n got closer, she was able to make out the familiar features of the gorgeous boy.

"y/n? you came." eren whispered to himself, wishing that she never came out to look for him.

"the hell are you doing here? i was so worried that you left without a word!" y/n scolded the boy as she continued to walk forwards, only to stop in her tracks in horror.

there she noticed eren's teary face as his nose was red, beautiful tealish green eyes glossing with salty tears as his right hand held a gun.

"eren? what's wrong with you, why do you have that?" she stammered in panic as she pointed a shaky finger to the hand holding the gun, feeling the rush of bile as the sight was already terrifying enough to make her vomit.

"y/n, i need you to go back home. please." eren begged, but this time it was y/n's turn to spill her tears as her hands came up to her hair to grip it in frustration.

"answer my damn question, eren!" she screamed as she walked closer to him, her feet halting as she could hear the tune of the music box playing. it was laying open on the ground near his feet.

"i don't wanna die, y/n. i'm so scared, so scared to let go. but, i can't do this anymore. i've lost everyone in my life, i let them slip away from my fingers and i'm afraid to watch you slip away from me too. you don't deserve to live with someone like me, you deserve better, my little angel." he cried out, pointing the gun to his temple as he watched the love of his life crumble in front of him.

"please! please don't do this to me, eren. i can't let you go, you promised me that we'd heal together, remember?" y/n sobbed, watching her one and only ready to let go of his life in mere seconds with the pull of a trigger.

"i can't be healed, y/n. i can't heal what's already been broken too many times. which is why i need you to let me go." eren said with a sad smile while his tears rolled down his cheeks, his finger so close to pulling the trigger but he stopped as soon as she heard his words.

one last request.

"let me feel you for one last time. please, eren." she pleaded, looking at him with red tear filled eyes as she choked back on her words. he let out a heavy sigh and nodded, still not moving the gun away from the side of his head.

y/n took heavy steps towards him, feeling like she could pass out any moment. all she wanted to do was run up to him and smack the deadly weapon out of his hands, but she was afraid. she was scared that any sudden movement of hers may lead to eren impulsively pulling the trigger, which is why she was trying to remain as calm and gentle as she possibly could.

now she stood in front of him, the special person in her life, no-

the only person in her life.

"eren, please listen to me." y/n breathed out, carefully letting a hand caress the side of his face before cupping his wet cheek. the boy violently trembled under her touch, shaking his head.

"please, don't do this to me right now, y/n. i have to do this." eren tried to sternly say, but his voice broke towards the end, his heart tugging and breaking into pieces as he watched the girl beg him to stop.

"no you don't! we're soulmates, aren't we? you're my other half and i'm your other half, we're one. we're meant to be, eren. let's just go home and live eren, live like last night until we can't anymore. please eren, let's just go home!" y/n weeped, clutching onto his shirt as she could feel her vision becoming blurry within each second.

her hand moved to the gun, body shivering from touching the cold metal as her fingers met with his index finger, the same finger that was on the trigger.

"my little angel, why are you crying? we'll meet again, over and over again so often that you'll get tired of seeing me. have you forgotten what we wrote on our lantern? no matter which life i enter next, we'll bump into each other and fall in love all over again. this isn't goodbye." eren softly spoke, his free hand delicately grabbing her hand that was on the trigger, bringing it to his wet cheek once again before he turned his face to place a kiss on the ring he gave her last night.

"eren, please! i beg you, please don't do this to me! i love you, i love you so much that it hurts. i'd do anything for you. anything!" the girl desperately begged once more but eren was strong on his feet, his decision was final.

"i'm so sorry, my love. i love you so much, so much that i'd give you the moon and all the stars. we'll meet again my love, in another life and in another dream. i'll be waiting for you, y/n." he whispered to her before planting a loving kiss on her trembling lips, making her eyes go wide as she watched him give her one last smile as he knew how much she loved his smile.

"eren, no!" y/n cried out as she tried to hastily grab the gun out of his hand, but it was too late. the shots were fired, a sound so loud that it was piercing through the quiet atmosphere.

his eyes rolled back as she heard him choke on air while the bullet went through his head, falling forwards as she quickly caught his heavy figure, not wanting him to hit the cold hard ground. eren's head was buried in her neck as y/n felt like her knees would collapse any moment now.

"e-eren...?" y/n stuttered out as her blood ran cold, already knowing that he was long gone but she refused to accept it.

how could he leave her in this world all alone? this was supposed to be their world, a world created only for the two of them to live in.

but now, y/n was all alone again.

she felt her t-shirt becoming drenched with the crimson red liquid as eren's blood profusely poured out of the side of his head. the mourning girl clutched onto her dead lover tightly, sobbing as she tried to take in his scent one last time.

unable to hold her strength any longer, y/n fell to her knees as she dragged the lifeless body along with her, laying eren on the soft grass under the cherry blossom tree. the grass and fallen cherry blossom flowers beneath them now becoming stained with his blood.

the music box continued to play the tune of his favorite song, as y/n cried in the palm of her hands.

"why eren? why did you leave me all alone after so much has happened between us? come back! please, come back and smile at me once more. tell me that all of this is just a bad dream, i need you to wake me up. i need you to be here with me, eren! i need you, do you hear me?!" y/n frantically yelled at the cold lifeless body on the ground, shaking it back and forth as she begged and demanded the dead boy to come back to life.

the world could be so beautiful yet so cruel. this was the harsh reality as the most messed up thing that the universe could do, is make two people who are destined for each other meet at the wrong time.

but y/n has had enough of the world playing such cards on her, she was tired of being abandoned and waiting for better times. and when she finally had everything in her life settled, she lost everything in a matter of seconds.

"i won't make you wait too long for me, eren. i'm ready to meet you again." the girl whispered as she stroked his pale face before a pair of shaky hands scrambling on the grass around eren's head to grasp the gun.

her hands trembled as she placed the cold metal against her chest, taking deep shallow breaths as her breathing was becoming erratic. she looked down to see eren, his face seemed so peaceful, almost as if he was sleeping.

"let's meet again, eren. in another life and in another dream." and with the being said, y/n gulped harshly before pulling the trigger, a sharp pain piercing through her chest. she clutched on the area, tears streaming down her face as she tried to smile at the lifeless body below her.

y/n collapsed on top of eren, his shirt now becoming stained with her blood as she coughed up blood, spitting it out to the side. with the remaining strength in her body, she lifted herself up, bellowing in agonizing pain as she struggled to breathe.

drops of her salty tears began to fall on his porcelain face as she leaned down, pressing one last loving kiss on his cold lips before placing her head on his chest. she tried to listen for a heartbeat but there wasn't any.

instead, her ears were filled with the sweet melody playing in the background. eren's favorite song, the song that the both of them would listen to during many nights together.

je te laisserai des mots.

"sleep well, my love." she whispered, feeling her chest tighten as her air supply continued to run low as she grimaced in pain.

y/n continued to listen to the melody, feeling her breathing slow down as her vision was blurring out, her body feeling like it was coming up with a harsh fever while it trembled.

i'm coming to you, eren.

she thought one last time before her eyes fluttered closed, all movements coming to a stop. the both of them laid lifelessly under the cherry blossom tree while the soft pink petal continued to fall on top of them, as their crimson red blood stained the petals beneath.

this is where everything started and where everything came to an end.

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[gildeddlily]

finally re-reading stormbringer, first post of a long list (30 photos limit go die) we stan the flags

I read stormbringer this summer, and it was something (it destroyed me and made Chuuya became my favourite character of all bsd- more than anyone else (like sigma, he's my fav in the decay of angels arc), chuuya solos everyone and you know it shut up)

so, like I did with fifteen I feel the urge to share everything cause yeah we all need to suffer more

1. We Stan The Flags

This always makes me laugh, cause Chuuya's like "yeah, it's probably the shadiest and most dangerous role I could have as a non-executive, what's so important ab it? It's cool guys I'm not better than you all" (imposter syndrome sir)

I love Pianoman. I just- I love the Flags, and I will always fantasize ab a world where they're still alive. and them bullying chuuya is my favourite trope alr.

and i just know that in a no powers au chuuya would have been the kind of teenager to befriends people older than him like ten years age gap, cause people his age just weren't for him (in an healthy way guys)

try to not think ab chuuya's inability to accept gifts and love, and just some of the most powerful men in the mafia being excited ab a silly guy (silly chuuya who's stronger than half of them(gotta write chuuya and iceman first meeting))

the... the fruitiness of this sentence is menacing so I'm gonna- just yk

the au where Chuuya takes Lippman place ad the mafia's contact with the light is so beautiful and sad. and that fic where he takes chuuya on set I'm crying stop it

canon chuuya is so mean. Like not mean, just harsh. a lot of people only sees him as someone who gets mad at Dazai and is a peace of cake with everyone else- like no? he send to hell every person he talks to and goes on with "wanna know the power of gravity" every two seconds. he's just chuuya, gotta accept him as our little mass murder with anger issues that needs to be controlled cause the Mafia boss is afraid he's gonna die if he doesn't <333

and this is so beautiful in a way. he always talks ab killing dazai and dazai doesn't help with that, only giving him more reasons to do so, and same with the flag. anger issues maybe, but is he really angry with dazai and the others? we see him really mad, and it is not a pretty thing to watch- and they all know what mad chuuya really looks like and just know when he's yes angry but not really. everyone is ready to fight, and are relieved when things dont escalate (they love chuuya so much stop please)

they comfort him in a way that is heartwarming. they don't offer him useless words or things like "don't worry you have a past and you're human", they don't beat around the bush. Pianoman's like "hey, we know you don't know if you're human, and I'm gonna be super harsh ab it cause we're in the mafia and all of that but listen kid, here we are ab to solve your existential crisis"

even Iceman, the cold blooded hitman who almost killed chuuya a couple of times and was ab to try it five minutes before this, is fucking smiling. they're so happy to help him it hurts (just know iceman called him kid at least some times. he's the real big brother and I just know it)

yes, this is the first time chuuya has real friends- not kids he has to look after and protect without receiving gratitude but just a "it's the least you can do" attitude, not whatever-the-fuck-is-going-on with dazai, just friends. they spend time sìtogether, they give eachother gifts. they're kind with eachother in the ways the know how

an chuuya doesn't know what to do, cause he has never had this type of relationship with anyone, the "give-receive" mechanism that every relationship should have. he doesn't know what to do, and I need to hug him

and then the gag we needed and something I need to draw (Pianoman definitely is the tired mom. Iceman is the dad cause yeah who other. Chuuya and Albatross the sons, Doc the gay emo cousin (what do you mean you wish to be carried by Adam sir) and Lippman the sassy aunt. just see it)

he kind of is sir (he's fucking sixteen just kill me)

something I love ab him is the fact that he's emotionally constipated but like one of the less serious one. he knows that he can be easy to read since he's very open ab his emotions (even if they understand he could just kill everyone, so), but can be serious in a way a teenager shouldn't be able to. he chooses to be so open with dazai, the flags and the people he cares about. the trust king fr

they all know he's gonna come back (and that he's crying) cause he probably wanted them to, or he would have reacted worse to getting understood so easily

and this is the trope asagiri give us so many times and the best one in the history of tropes. bad scary guys having fun with some other bad scary guys and enjoying their time together like normal people.

...kafka, my love, stop it. you were doing do good

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #stormbringer #chuuya nakahara #the flags #bsd verlaine #bsd chuuya nakahara #bsd stormbringer #reading things and making too many screenshots #bsd spoilers

[phykios]

Review: I Become Supreme Lord of the Bathroom

Yes, yes, the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the meetcute of the century, it’s very exciting, but I have to ask–why is it framed like a horror movie? 

To be clear, I’m not saying I don’t like it. I can easily believe that it’s a character choice, that Leah decided Annabeth had been practicing that line over and over again to sound as cool and aloof as possible, and then not realize it makes her look super weird. That is the kind of intense, “formative years in magical summer camp” awkwardness that I always associate Annabeth with. But combined with the storm, the blurring of the curtains, and the sinister musical underscoring, it’s just a very odd choice. 

For me, personally, peak delivery of “You drool when you sleep” will always belong to Kristin Stokes, mostly because the comedic value of her cutting off Percy in the middle as he musically waxes poetic about how beautiful she is is very, very high. But, because it’s literally Leah’s first (technically second) line in the whole series, and because I think it does make sense with her character as the episode unfolds, I won’t say it’s the wrong choice. I won’t even say that I don’t get it. Just that, when combined with the rest of the framing, it’s an odd one. (Remind me to return to this point once the season is over, and we’ll see if my feelings have changed at all!)

I’m going to do my best to be normal about Luke, and I promise you, I will fail. Luckily for all of us, Luke is not yet babygirl; he is still only baby. As several others have pointed out, the fact that Luke’s first interaction with Percy is one of immediate sympathy, and that he more explicitly takes Percy under his wing, taking book!Annabeth’s position of being the lore explainer and confidante, is going to be so heinous in retrospect when the betrayal comes. As a side note, I loved the way that the other cabin members were side-eyeing Percy as the camera slowly picked its way through the room. Also, the fact that Luke’s words were repeated by the shadowy figure (presumably Kronos) in Percy’s nightmare? When Percy calls Luke his friend, still in the middle of his emotional separation from Grover? Amazing. It’s going to hurt so bad. 

You can tell Luke has a lot of sway in his cabin, from the little entourage–including Chris!–that follows him around camp, but I wish we had seen more of his status in the greater camp social circle, beyond him getting Clarisse to successfully back off. Even something as simple as people just calling out to him in greeting would help fill the gaps in. (Think “Hi, Barbie!”) This could easily bog down the pacing, though, so I get why it’s not here. You can also tell that Luke and Chris have their little grooming (ideological, not the other kind) routine down pat. “They like the smell of burnt mac and cheese?” “They like the smell of begging.” Might be my favorite exchange of the whole episode. 

Speaking of favorites, favorite performance this episode goes to Dior Goodjohn during capture the flag. However, Clarisse’s characterization here feels almost like the inverted version of Gabe from the previous episode–he’s been dialed down, but she’s been dialed up. In the books, she starts out as a bully, yes, but more of an ineffectual one, since she gets hit with a faceful of toilet water in her first appearance. Dior plays her much, much scarier than she ever was in text… but at the same time, could she be scarier just because the act of seeing someone in a fight can be scarier than reading about it? And again, the reverse for Gabe: was his character dialed down because seeing acts of domestic abuse at that level was a worse experience than reading about them? For Clarisse, this change works, but for Gabe, the jury's still out. 

Now, onto the claiming scene. Was it everything I hoped it would be and more? 

Not really. It was fine. (I thought the fight choreography was great, though–quick but still visceral, much more grounded than the standard Marvel featherlight beam fights.) For one thing, a glowing sea-green trident just doesn’t have the same visual oomph against a daylit background. For another, the drama of a hellhound coming out of nowhere and almost mauling Percy to death immediately raises the stakes, necessitating this equally dramatic resolution. But for a third, the claiming scene in the books is a hard subversion of what should be this triumphant, cathartic moment, where Percy is recognized by his father, but is instead immediately ostracized by his newfound community because of it. It’s a brilliant piece of writing, and it makes me go feral at the drop of a hat, and when the show decides to almost gloss over it, cutting from Percy in the water to Chiron’s exposition dump, it doesn’t feel like it has the time to settle, to impact the audience the way it should–or at least, the way that I want it to, the way it knocked me on my ass at age 12 and age 26 and age [redacted]. 

A lot of these last two episodes feel that way, in my opinion. I fear that, as someone who is clinically deep in the lore, my background knowledge fills in the gaps of the story that would otherwise be a detriment to a blind watcher. I recognize that there is a lot of book to get through in a relatively short amount of time, but we are skating along the plot at breakneck speed, and I worry that we are missing some key, grounding tentpoles in the meantime. 

So, with all that in mind, let’s talk about character arcs. 

Annabeth in the books clocks Percy as powerful from the moment she meets him–I think Annabeth in the show takes that to another level, using that fact to force Chiron’s hand in order to get her out of camp and on a quest. She is determined that Percy is “the one,” and if he isn’t, then she is going to make him so. It’s kind of hilarious to see a twelve year old as a kingmaker, but as Luke says, she’s always six steps ahead of everyone else. Based on this, I see why they’ve swapped some of Luke’s and Annabeth’s book personalities, because I predict that their show counterparts will switch roles as the season comes to an end. Annabeth will take Luke’s place as Percy’s friend, lore reservoir, and confidante, and Luke will become the cold, calculating one. Similarly, I bet that Grover and Percy’s arc will probably be about overcoming Percy’s feelings of betrayal towards Grover for getting him kicked out of Yancy. Percy’s new forged bonds with Grover and Annabeth will come in handy once Luke tries to stab him in the back. 

Stray thoughts:

Jason Mantzoukas, my beloved!! I’m glad he can dial down the insanity when necessary. As Dionysus, he has a really interesting dynamic switch between Percy (merciless trolling) and Grover (semi-stern authority). I wonder if it’s because technically Grover as a satyr kind of falls under his purview? Or am I overthinking it? 

At some point, if I can get good enough screencaps, I want to go through the set design and use my newfound ancient architectural knowledge to see where they pulled inspiration from

I wish Luke’s scar were bigger. And a little grosser. 

When Luke said the word “kleos,” I actually stood up and started pacing around the room. That, plus Chris name dropping an obscure god, makes me extremely happy.

It is so nice seeing Riordan’s continued commitment to expanding his world so that all kinds of kids can see themselves in his work!

It’s pronounced like “They-lia” with a soft th and I will die on this hill. But also, “forbidden kid” is kind of great and I kind of love it? 

One teeny nitpick: it looks most of the campers all have five bead necklaces, and I wish they had ones with different numbers: four beads, three beads, two beads, hell, throw in a 7 bead, just for fun

#pjo tv #pjo spoilers #pjo tv spoilers #sasha review #oops i just realized i said i'd talk about walker's performance and then i didn't w/e i don't want to go back and add it #tl;dr his undropped voice activates insane maternal instincts in me