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sukirichi · 2 years

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[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 007 ]

“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”

c/w. modern royal au. infidelity. angst. gaslighting. toxic characters. suggestive. toxic relationships. mentions of neglect and abuse. hurt and comfort. it’s cringy when suna calls us ‘my love.’ half heartedly edited.

notes. this chapter is dedicated to all my fellow oikawa fuckers, enjoy <33 i’m really in love with how deep his character can be like lowkey he has more personality (as of now) than rintaro lol

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[ SEVEN ] i know you don’t really see my worth. you think you’re the last guy on earth, well, i’ve got news for you. i know i’m not that strong, but it won’t take long

“Would you stop pacing?” Prince Tooru reprimanded. His wife, the ever-so-sweet Maiko, jumped a little at the sting of his voice. She was no longer an alien to his harshness, nor was it anything new for her the way he sent daggers her direction. “It’s an eyesore.”

“My apologies, Your Highness. I just... I’m extremely worried for the Princess.”

The Prince kept flicking through the television. However, behind his uncaring facade, he shared the same sentiments as her. Everyone would be lying if they said the entire manor hadn’t been deadly quiet the entire night, save for the hushed whispers between your servants appalled by Rintaro’s display. Tooru was actually impressed they hadn’t called your parents by now. Your servants watched you grow up and had been loyal to your family for years, yet not a single one of them stopped the Crown Prince from dragging their precious Princess like she was nothing but prey. Then again, Tooru mused, maids from a noble family would never go against the crown.

“You heard what Kiyoomi said. The Princess wants space, and Suna will not let us step a foot outside either. We have no choice but to await her return.”

“Would she even return?”

Hearing the scuffle of her feet rubbing against the carpet one more time, Tooru dragged a palm down his face. “Look. I cannot answer your questions, so can we please just go to sleep?” Sleep, of course, meaning that Prince Tooru enjoyed the luxury of your guest room’s king-sized bed while his wife remained on the couch. Hell, he was kind enough to share the same room as her.

Unbothered by the Prince’s nonchalance, Maiko gazed at her feet and fiddled with her fingers.

“Your Highness, I-I know this sounds far-fetched of me, but would you grant me a small favour? I promise I would repay you generously—”

“If you offer to leave me the fuck alone for a month, I might consider it.”

Maiko’s head snapped up. Her husband held no trace of remorse on his face as he pulled the blankets under his chin, handsome as usual—as all the Princes were—even with his eyes peacefully closed. Such a sight made him look unbelievably gentle with the way soft, brown strands of hair brushed over his forehead. And Maiko, poor Maiko who never learned, had no choice but to swallow her pride and give in to the Prince’s request. Whether it was because she had been in love him with him for the longest time and this was the first, possibly last, chance he would ever hear out, Maiko prioritized your well-being over anything else.

“I...Of course, Your Highness. If it is what you wish.”

Tooru raised a brow in disbelief, eyes narrowed at his wife’s sagging shoulders. Just like that? Ah, but he wasn’t complaining. “Fine. What do you want?”

“Please find the Princess. O-Or at least check up on her, talk to her or something. Anything would be of great help as long as she knew she does not have to face this alone. The Princess is having a hard time and it breaks my heart to imagine she is all by herself—”

“Why don’t you go yourself if you care so badly?”

“Because...” Maiko frowned, “If the Crown Prince catches me, I am done for. He might be far more merciful to you considering you are his brother.”

“That is hilarious,” Tooru couldn’t hold back a guffaw. “You think Rintaro would be less bothered if his brother sought out his damsel in distress of a wife? Oh, how gold. Has it not crossed your mind that Rintaro is oddly possessive over his wife? He thinks either Kiyoomi and I will snag her up.”

“But you will not, so—”

“What if I did, hm?” he challenged. Instantly, Maiko held her breath, awaiting the threat—or rather the possibility—that Tooru didn’t jester. He had always made it clear how he didn’t want her. Expressing at any opportunity he could take about his desire to have had the privilege to choose who he could have been married to, and Maiko knew exactly what he was doing. The Prince, just like now, was simply reminding her the consequences of her actions. But she must have been a true masochist as she remained mum in her spot the longer he continued, sitting up now and tilting his head with a smirk. “The Princess is gorgeous. I could easily choose her over you any day, so let me ask—would you still want me to find her and lend her a shoulder to cry on?”

Be strong, Maiko—was what she must be thinking. And honestly? Tooru thought it was complete, utter bullshit. She could plant her feet on the ground as solidly as she could, but he refused to have his bones buried next to hers.

Maiko had already taken his life.

He should choose his own death now, and if that meant slowly driving a dagger deep into her heart and carving out his to place into the mercy of your hands—because god forbid, you would be death of everyone someday—then Tooru would have no regrets. To have his fate intertwined with yours, whether the outcome may be bitter or would shatter him to pieces, would be honourable. A heaven in comparison to the hell bowing his head at him right now.

“We are family now, Your Highness. She needs us.”

“I take that as a yes?” Tooru mocked. He didn’t wait for her response as he was swiping his car keys off the counter the next second, his jacket shrugged on and halfway out the door before he sang, “As you wish, my dear.”

There are some things Tooru would never admit out loud. One, how he grew up closest to Kiyoomi and Keiji out of their shared love for literature, and that those two brothers of his held one of his most embarrassing secrets on how Tooru loved romantic novels. Jane Austen? He personally booked a theatre all for himself just to watch the film adaptations of her works. Margaret Mitchell? Tooru had handmade notebooks buried deep within his study filled with his favourite lines from her in perfect cursive; the younger version of him fantasizing about what it felt like to yearn for somebody your being felt incomplete without them. Two, how grateful he was deep down that Maiko had asked him to find you, because truth be told, only Rintaro got in his way. He would have ran after you hours ago the moment his bastard brother returned to the manor without his wife in tow. But appearances must be kept, trouble must be avoided if it provided more conflict than entertainment, and looking at it now, Tooru didn’t quite regret his previous actions.

The pitch-black sky felt more comforting than haunting as he pulled out of the driveway and headed to town. Maiko informed him you were at your family’s bed and breakfast, quite possibly asleep, but fuck it, right? Tooru convinced himself he wasn’t doing this for his wife. Never for Maiko, but not quite for you, either. Other than having a miserably pretty face that wasn’t as adored as it should be, and a heart bigger than Maiko was capable of, Tooru came to a conclusion he was doing it for himself.

Yes, he was simply a bored prince. Dragged into the edge of the country with no phones to use since Maiko would just snoop around, and Rintaro didn’t help with the situation by driving everybody apart. Even Kiyoomi seemed more of a bore than usual. So yes, Tooru was fetching you for his own gain, because surely listening to a broken hearted woman weep about her woes sounded far more entertaining than pretending to be asleep back at the manor.

No. He did not care about you at all.

He does not care one bit as he found you minutes later, sulking like a little child on the swings under an old sycamore tree whose leaves danced amongst the wind. He would admit, however, that you were undeniably beautiful. You always had been.

With a fresh face that granted him the luxury of seeing how crestfallen, forlorn eyes could remain dull under the moonlight’s gleam, Tooru tightened his grip on the scotch bottle. He wondered how sadness could look so beguiling on someone—whatnot with the lines of your frown and the absence of light you usually emanated. You sat there unaware of his presence looming overhead of you before you kicked and up high you flew. Skirt flowing at the same time you finally turned your head to look up at the sky, eyes glistening with tears and kissable lips quivering with slow, shuddered breaths he knew held back a sob. Tooru couldn’t help but find it befitting how you would one day hold power over everyone, because you were capable of breaking hearts. You could ruin kingdoms and tear everything apart. Yet, Tooru also knew how gentle you could be. He had shared enough family dinners with you to grow envious—no matter if he was aware they were all a sham—with the way you and Rintaro would share knowing smiles with each other like you both spoke a secret language exclusive only for those who had experienced falling in love.

Was this why Rintaro was so adamant in keeping you?

Had his brother even looked at you this way?

You made princes like him who grew up skilled in the arts of swordsmanship and combat weak in the knees. All you had to do was keep kicking your feet and fly higher up in the air and Tooru wouldn’t have argued if somebody told him he saw a fairy that night. A fairy who shed tears for a man unworthy of it. A fairy who mourned for a love that was never hers and whose cries were as muted as the dumbfounded Prince tracing the shape of your lips with his eyes and wonders, what would his name sound like if you whispered it to his ears? Would it feel biblical if Tooru could also share a secret language with you and murmur it into the crevices of your palm in a promising kiss, or would your words curse him into a thoughtless follower who walked into his own demise? You would be his Queen, after all. You would be the one he would fight for his life with, and whose wishes would become his command—his only good reason for living.

“Fuck,” Tooru muttered under his breath as he leant against his car. He could already feel his heart pounding. And for what? The spine-chilling realization of—or more like could no longer deny—that he found his brother’s wife mesmerizing? “Fuck you, Rintaro. I don’t wanna be like you. I’m not stealing anybody’s wife.”

Tooru chanted those words in his head like a mantra.

He needed more than a bottle of alcohol to get him through the night without accidentally blurting anything stupid, which he was certain was the last thing you needed. Tonight, you needed a friend. You needed someone with genuine intentions after being cruelly dragged into a make believe story of Prince meets Beauty, only to wake up with an unfortunate twist of Beauty and the Beast where happy endings didn’t exist when Rintaro was the Beast through and through.

Tonight, you would not be Prince and Princess.

Tooru would come as himself, and with a clear of his throat, plastered on his infamous smirk. “The night is too good to spend alone, Your Highness. I am quite certain no lovely woman would envision their honeymoon to turn out this way.”

You halted your body from swinging up.

Eyes widening at the sight of the Fifth Prince in nothing but sleepwear and a coat, your mouth falls open. You must have remembered you were now a Princess and had to act properly in front of a royal blood that you sat up straight. The action had Tooru sucking in a sharp breath before making himself comfortable on the swing beside you, opting to stare out in the vast fields because his chest was fluttering at the look on your face. How relieved you seemed upon seeing him. Like he was your hero even if he was far from having heroic attributes, and Tooru bit the insides of his cheeks.

He loathed how that passing moment made him feel important and brought a tint to his cheeks.

“Your Highness,” you began, “Wh-What brings you here?”

“To comfort a certain lonely Princess,” he winked, and you respond with a surprised squeak. “What? Can’t believe that the most handsome Prince is now your knight in shining armour? Don’t flatter yourself, though. This will not be a daily occurrence and—”

“Thank you.” Ducking your head, you stare at your lap, and Tooru patiently waited for you to continue speaking. He could see your eyes water as you swallow audibly, “I...I did not think anyone would bother to come find me, much less you, my Prince. Out of everybody, I thought you might have cared the least, but forgive me for I was mistaken.”

“Well,” he shrugged, “Not everyone is as heartless as Rintaro. Not your fault too that you thought of me that way.”

The both of you share a knowing smile—his telling you that you would be alright, and you reciprocating a thankful one. A comfortable silence settled after that. None of you found the need to talk about anything when Tooru wasn’t the best at comforting, and you were more than satisfied for the company. It shocked him, though, how he unexpectedly ended up playing in the swings with his brother’s wife at three in the morning, surrounded by nothing but grass and the faint sounds of crickets chirping. The wind would occasionally hum, and so did you.

The intimate beginning of a core memory felt like a scene straight out of a novel, but Tooru knew better. As much as he cherished this moment of sharing a silence with somebody in a world filled with people demanding for answers and explanations, Tooru understood this moment would not last. He had to remind himself he wasn’t your Prince. You weren’t his Princess. You were both just royals stripped of their titles until they were reduced to nothing but humans at their rawest form—a Princess with a disloyal husband, a broken heart and pride, and him as a Prince who didn’t quite knew where he belonged. At least, Tooru knew his place, and maybe that was why it felt a bit wrong to be the one next to you this moment. You were newly married and should be having this emotional intimacy with your husband. Not his brother. It was a constant fight of push and pull in his brain of wanting to be greedy and have more for this, whatever the fuck this was, whatever the fuck it meant now that you were smiling to yourself without saying anything, but Tooru chose to be the bigger person and stop kicking his feet.

“Say,” he scrunched his nose, “The town is dead, and you look like you have a lot to get off your chest. What do you say about a drive up the hill? You can scream as much as you want there.”

“Scream? Why would I scream?”

“Curse out Rintaro. I do that a lot when he gets on my nerves.”

When you laughed at his words, Tooru had to stop himself from getting too ahead of himself. Surely, it didn’t mean anything at all that he just made a pretty Princess laugh, even if your laugh was so airy and sounded so nice he would have taken full credit of doing a job well done for being a temporary friend.

“That does not sound too bad. In fact, I know a spot.”

The spot being a ten minute walk up the hill, far enough to be hidden from the prying gaze despite everybody being asleep but close enough that Tooru could retrace the steps back to the town in fear you would get lost again. Not that he had to worry. You were already steps ahead of him, shoes looped into your fingers as your toes dug into the bare earth—the very spitting image of a woman he couldn’t have most with sparkling hair pins keeping the strands kissed by the wind at bay.

Right. He needed to look away.

You were not his to appreciate.

“How did you find me, Prince Tooru?” you asked when you’d both settled next to each other, knees slightly brushing with every relaxed move.

Prying his eyes away from your fingers spreading to let the blades of grass peek through the spaces, Tooru raised a shoulder. Stop, he chastised himself. Do not muse about how strong the soil must be that night to carry the unspoken sorrows that weighed heavier than earth itself. Do not put yourself into the shoes birthed with a responsibility you were not man enough to step in on.

“Let’s just say that my wife and I never really went to the shop centres. That was nothing but a lame excuse we had to tell her parents. Instead, I roamed around this lovely town of yours and wished earlier that this might as well be my spot—but of course, this has always been yours, isn’t it?” he attempted to lighten the mood, “You have a lovely view from here.”

While his view from his bedroom, up north in the Inarizaki Tower, granted him the vision of a god who saw all from the citizens rising early in the morning to mill about for work to children laughing as they chased each other outside their parents’ humble, little shops, nothing could have compared to the serenity of Greenville. Miles and miles of land rich with flowers and fruitful trees laid home to rows of grapevines; its scent so addicting the Prince might as well have gotten drunk from a single whiff. The land stretched overhead until the peak of the mountains along the edge allowed room for the sun to stretch its arms out in a few hours’ time. Crickets chirped. The wind sang a lullaby that put the people to sleep, and he had you next to him. Close enough he might have plucked out the flower tempting him nearby with its dulcet beauty and humorously recite you poetry like he was your lover if that would make you smile.

Unfortunately, you didn’t share the same sentiments as him. “I doubt anything could be lovely from now on.”

“Don’t let my brother get to you.”

“That is easy for you to say,” you exhaled, “You and your brothers all the same. We, as wives, never meant anything significant to your hearts. You throw us to the side away like we are lesser than dust. I doubt you could even understand my pain when you are clearly incapable of being a good husband with the inability to feel love.”

Biting back his tongue to ask “don’t you want to prove me wrong about that?”, Tooru blew a low whistle. “You don’t pull your punches, do you? That is harsh.”

“Well, I see no need to coddle you, my Prince. You are a grown man who needs to realize his own disgusting flaws.”

At any other day, Tooru would’ve taken the unnecessary projection of your own heartbreak out to him with disdain, but today was different. For his own entertainment, he would be a little kinder. A little more patient. So he let it slide, and masked his confused heart with the one thing he had perfected—the all-too-confident smile that made men and women weak in the knees. The smile that brought him to where he is now, married and unhappy.

“Oh, there is no need, Princess. I am more than well aware of what makes me terrible,” he admitted, “What my brother did was wrong. There is no excuse for his behaviour, but you must understand—this is all very common to us now. Rintaro was able to deceive you like that because he had seen it with his own eyes; how marriages needed to be successful politically but never romantically, and once he has a goal in mind, nothing is stopping him from achieving that,” it was more of a warning than a reminder, and Tooru snuck a glance to confirm if you understood where he was going. “Do not take it personally, Princess. Rintaro would have been a liar either way whether it was you or not that he first laid his eyes on.”

“Is that supposed to comfort me?”

“I am shit at comforting others—” a laugh was pulled from him before the Prince steals the bottle from your hands and takes a swig. “—but I do sincerely hope you stop crying now.”

His words had the opposite effect. Not even past the neck of the bottle, you choked before him in a fit of sniffles and sobs. Eyes puffy and red, lips wobbly and fingers angrily wiping away at the tears you desperately tried to conceal from his stupefied gaze. “What do you care whether I cry or not?”

Out of instinct, Tooru’s arm reached out to stop you from pinching your cheeks.

Slapped by logic, on the other hand, his arm retreated by itself because he was only here to comfort, not to reassure. And bound by the foolishness that was called the never-learning vulnerable heart, Tooru found himself in the middle of heaven and hell as he sighs. “Believe it or not, Princess, but I do care,” was his confession, though before you could ponder too much about it, the Prince was already hogging the scotch. “Implausible, is it not? But I do not blame you for it. I know I seem unable to care about others when I hate my own wife, even if she has been nothing but an angel to me.”

“So you know Princess Maiko adores you. Why do you not treat her with the same kindness, then?”

Princess Maiko again. It always had to circle back to her.

“She annoys me. She clings to me like an obsessed leech and demands affection when she knows I have no interest in reciprocating it,” he scoffed, “It is for her own good, though. There is no point to fool herself we can be happy together when I never wanted to be married. It is better to break her heart from the beginning than be sweet to her and get her hopes up.” The Prince held no room for argument. Palms leaning back on the grass, he extends his leg and crosses them as he glares at the sky like the darkness caused all this trouble. “No idea what anybody told you, but Princess Maiko and I were not married under the Queen’s choice. It was Maiko’s.”

“Princess Maiko...proposed to you?”

“Something like that. Maiko is a year younger than me, and naturally, since our families had close connections to each other, I grew up treating her like my little sister. She was always clumsy and stupid that I feared she’d get into trouble if not properly watched over. Little did I know that my concern for her would grow into being lovesick, and next thing I know, she is begging with the Queen to marry me. One thing led to another, the Queen saw potential in our union, and now here we are.”

“You make it sound like you had no choice in this, yet you still let her walk down that aisle. Are you sure you are not just using the Queen as an excuse?”

“If I did not marry Maiko, the Queen would have kicked me out the palace.”

“That is legal?”

Tooru wore a face that said beats me. “When there are too many Princes in a patriarchal monarchy, there will be hierarchy among our worth. The First Prince is already worthy to remain in the family as the eldest heir, and then Rintaro is the only child of the King and Queen. Prince Shinsuke will never have to worry about not being Prince when his mother plays a large role in the Kingdom as one of their best lawyers. The twins, too, come from a wealthy mother whose chain of businesses greatly benefits the palace. The youngest, Prince Tobio, is naturally adored by everybody else. He is given everything without having to ask for it. But the rest of us? We have to fight for our place in the dinner table. My clan is not exactly on good terms with the royal family, either.”

“But did you not say you did not care about being Prince?”

“I don’t. The duties of a Prince wears me out and I hate having to put on a facade all the time, but I have no place where I belong in,” his voice grew somber, the tips of his ears tinting red at the realization he was actually being vulnerable to someone who wasn’t his brother. Hell, he didn’t even trust his brothers anymore the night titles mattered more than familial bond, yet here he was. “My mother... her family does not accept me because she was a married woman who had me after having an affair with the King, and the King never looked at me once when I was born. He merely had me to establish ties with the Oikawa Clan, but when he realized my maternal grandparents barely recognized me as their own, I was useless to him. So as much as I despise being a Prince, it is the only way I can actually live. If not for my title, I would have already been sent to the streets.”

Tooru was quietly begging whatever gods looked down on him that you wouldn’t look at him with pity. The last thing he wanted was to be pitiful.

Sneaking a glance after a split second decision dissolved his worries, because you were far from seeing him as less. No, you glanced at him more out of curiosity. Like if he allowed you to give it more thought, you could magically have a solution. “Then...if you are not that important to them despite being an heir to one of three founding clans, why could Prince Kiyoomi not be important, as well? He is the Second Prince. Is that why he married Princess Iris—to ensure his title of a Prince?”

“Nobody knows why Iris and Kiyoomi got married, and neither will anyone of them talk about it. None of us were even invited to their wedding. We just woke up the next day and found out our brother had gotten married with minimal preparations, but it was all over the news. The Kingdom ate their marriage and claimed it to be a firmer peace treaty over Inarizaki and Itachiyama.”

You hid a sniffle.

“...How long has Prince Suna and Princess Iris been together?”

Tooru believed it was best you knew less. But the look on your face begged, pleaded to have that certain itch scratched that Tooru had to give in. “They met when they were in high school,” he supplied, albeit hesitantly, “Iris was a scholar of the royal family as her mother was a loyal follower of the Queen despite being born in Itachiyama, and Iris was an intelligent girl. They hit it off ever since, but drifted apart due to obvious reasons. Then they met again right after the wedding, and have been inseparable ever since.”

God. He really shouldn’t have said it. He had barely finished speaking before you pulled your knees up to your chest, head buried between your legs and sobs stifled in the eerie silence. “Oh my god. I look like a fool, don’t I? They’ve known each other forever.”

“None of this was your fault, Princess. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

“It was my fault, though. I-I knew all this time,” you were full on sobbing by now. “I found out the night we announced our engagement. Ever since that day, I knew whatever we had was never real, but I proceeded with the wedding anyway because I hoped he would still look at me the same way. D-Do you have any idea how much it hurts to learn that you were never loved in the first place?”

Your voice cracked with every sharp breath. Fingers lifting to dig into your scalp deep enough the skin turned raw, and Tooru was immediately peeling your hands away from yourself. “Princess, breathe. Do not hurt yourself—”

“It kills me, Your Highness. I have never felt this pathetic before.”

“Princess...”

“I can’t stop looking in the mirror and find a warped reflection of myself staring back,” you wail and flick his arm away, like the thought of being touched by someone else repulsive. “Every day, I see nothing but my flaws and insecurities and think, is this why he doesn’t love me? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not good enough? Will I never compare to Iris? I feel so horribly ugly and disgusted of my own skin.”

“Don’t think that. You’re beautiful.”

“His Highness said otherwise—”

“My brother is fucking stupid for taking you for granted. If you were mine, I would have never made you feel like you were not good enough.”

Your head slowly turns to face him, the previous sobs now dwindling into little sniffles, but Tooru was already looking away. Downing his wine before you could say anything else. Drinking fast enough his brain felt muddled and there was an ache forming at the back of his head, but anything. Anything to escape the prying eyes wet with tears as the confession settled into the air.

He either fucked it up, or started a new chapter along the way.

The sound of you crying harder again brought him no answer.

“I w-wish...he thought the same way.”

What did it all mean? This moment... when you looked at him now, clinging to whatever hope was left in your love struck heart. When you looked at him now, smile flattened upon the mutual understanding that maybe this was what it meant. Not quite friendship, not quite partnership, not quite acquaintances—but the gentle promise that when the castle and its burdens grew too suffocating, you would have the Fifth Prince to run to out of the thousand others living under the grand halls of royalty. And if you had even the slightest inkling that perhaps Tooru might be growing too warm in a cold night, he was comforted enough by the fact you and him were as impossible as him and his wife.

Whatever attraction he held for you simply had to die. Whatever happened tonight stays within this spot closest to the stars in a quiet town called Greenville.

“Let him go,” was all Tooru could offer before his hand covered yours—that silly smile returning on his face again as if to say the pain would pass. “He’s stupid, anyway.”

“Right.” Finally, fucking finally, you smile brighter than he ever could. “He is stupid.”

“What the fuck were you doing with my wife?”

No good thing ever lasted. It was a fact Tooru learned the hard way, and had to relearn once more when he brought you back ‘home.’ After an hour and a half more of sharing jokes that slowly, the both of you were forming your own secret language Rintaro would not be a part of, you decided to loosen up a bit and steal the rest of his drink. Well, he brought it for you, but he didn’t quite expect you to rummage around his own hidden stash in the car of flasks, only to be giggling and practically dead weight in his arms later on.

It was good until it lasted.

It was good until he showed up. Tooru hadn’t stopped scowling since your husband bundled you in his jacket and held you like you were a fragile woman in need of care. Sure, you could be, but if Rintaro knew it all along, why hadn’t he been more careful since the beginning? Tooru hated inconsistency. Hated lying out of everything—all of the traits his younger brother was an expert of.

It was absolutely revolting how he immediately took on the role of a concerned husband and carried you to bed when you passed out in his arms—like he hadn’t been the reason you felt the need to drink yourself to such a state.

“Only what you should have done.”

Rintaro grabbed him by the collar, their eyes levelled but neither giving in. “Don’t mess with me, Tooru. You think I don’t know what you’re doing, huh? Making my wife warm up to you so you can mess up everything I worked hard for?”

“I didn’t do shit. You ruined everything by yourself and you know it.”

“You still had no business going after her like that.”

“Are you fuckin’ serious?” gritting his teeth, Tooru shoved Rin back hard enough his back hit the doorframe. Although the impact didn’t cause too much of a sound, he still glanced your way to see if you had awoken before lowering his voice. “Your wife cried for hours. She could barely breathe well from how overwhelmed she is, and what were you doing? Oh, that’s right. Fucking your mistress while your wife wondered over and over again just what made her so unworthy of love in your eyes. It’s actually pathetic that such an amazing woman would shed these much tears over a man who can’t even tell her the truth about his malicious nature!”

Rintaro snickered, and it took all of Tooru’s patience to not punch his brother.

“Since when have you cared about the Princess?”

“Maybe we all do, Rintaro! Maybe every single one of us is tired that you and your mother are the exact same—you do nothing but manipulate people for your own gain and then wonder why your lives are so miserable! Your wife loves you, Rin. She would forgive you at the blink of an eye but it does not give you the right to abuse her kindness.”

“That is hypocritical coming from you. You talk as if you do not neglect your wife and leave her crying, too.”

“Maiko, Maiko, it’s always about stupid, fucking Maiko!” he fumed, “Don’t fucking pit me with you, asshole. You courted Princess Y/N for two years and had no intention of coming clean about your sins. Everybody knows I never wanted this marriage. It was Maiko who bound me with these shackles because she was obsessed with me!”

Rintaro was at a loss of words.

He, too, knew that in some way, Tooru had been better. Tooru had always been consistent over his disapproval of the marriage, and had no choice but to accept it in order to survive the harsh environment of the palace. But did Rintaro care?

Obviously not.

“Go back home. I don’t need you here.”

Tooru scoffed. “If it brings you any comfort—” with his back turned to his brother, he glared at him one last time on the way out. “I didn’t come here of my own volition. It was Maiko who requested me to go. Nobody’s out here stealing who isn’t theirs.” An excuse, a valid reason, a half truth—call it what you wanted. Tooru wasn’t sure himself either which one of it he truly meant when he could still smell your perfume all over him on the drive back to the manor.

At one point in your life, you became a Princess before you married a Prince.

It happened that one fateful night. Where elites, nobles, royals, and all the important figures in the world gathered in a grandiose castle in celebration of a Prince’s eighteenth birthday. Naturally, as the daughter of two of the trusted followers of the throne, you had been invited. You could still picture it all clearly—the weeks ahead of preparation despite being a guest who would most likely befriend the shadows and be accompanied by the walls until the party ended. Still, your mother insisted you be dressed to the nines. Calling out for the best dressmakers to travel to Inarizaki with the sole purpose of transforming you into—as what your mother called —“a butterfly who attracted attention, but would be out of reach.”

You were close to telling your mother she would return home from the party disappointed. Unless she could accept you were more of a moth who clung to the unknown corners.

Not that you thought lowly of yourself, but you preferred the term... realistic. Yes, realistic was what you were. You simply accepted the fact you weren’t the prettiest, the most sociable, nor the most interesting woman to ever be attending these balls. Perhaps only slightly above average all thanks to the respectable status and money you were born with, but otherwise not as dreamy as your mother painted you out to be.

See, you weren’t the best dancer. Your mother had given up halfway into dancing classes once she realized you were a lost cause. Little did the both of you know, that from that night onwards, the young woman who had two left feet would someday master the art of dancing all to impress a certain Prince who wouldn’t stop looking at her that night.

His name was Suna Rintaro—the Crown Prince by birth.

And you had caught his eye.

In fact, you must have captured his entire attention and bewitched his whole being that he was unable to take his eyes off of you and pushed through the crowd, all to ask for a dance.

You said yes. He said you made him the happiest man that night.

“Truly?” he echoed, as if a gorgeous Prince like him ever experienced his dance invitations rejected before. “You would dance with me?”

“It would be my pleasure, Your Highness. I...I am not great at dancing though,” you began to stutter, palms growing damp behind the lace gloves. “Perhaps you ought to find somebody better? I am uncertain I am the best choice to dance with tonight—”

“You are the best choice,” the Prince grinned, and your heart skipped a beat in awe at how someone could be effortlessly charming. You barely even noticed he was already leading you to the dance floor until you felt a hundred pair of eyes on you. All these people who bore more importance and held heavier money in their pockets witnessed how the Prince slid his warm hand above your waist then, his smile just as soothing as the little finger rubs to ease your nerves. “You are—” he leant closer, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “The only one who I want to share this dance with.”

You awoke with a jolt, heart pounding a mile a minute as the memory replayed in your head. Like a film caught on tape, you could still hear the violins singing at the top of their lungs, the cello hitting deep notes that vibrated within your bones. You could still feel the warmth of the Prince’s touch as he danced the night away with you. How gentle he had been to walk you out the gardens just to shyly murmur how he found you beautiful.

Beautiful.

Until suddenly you were not—or more like, you had never been beautiful to him.

“My love,” a voice—one that used to be comforting but now only brought pain—broke you out of your reverie. “I prepared breakfast for you. We should go downstairs and eat.”

Your husband, Rintaro, sat at the edge of your bed with a pinched frown. As if he was worried. He had no right to be, yet somehow, there was still that voice at the back of your head rejoicing in delight. Because he came. He came to find you. You woke up with him, and sure, it didn’t erase yesterday’s events, but could it mean something? You so badly wanted to reach out to him when his hand snaked across the mattress to find yours. Offering you a small squeeze. Looking so concerned you would have believed it all over again.

How was it possible someone could be both your happiness and torment?

No! your inner voice screamed at you. Don’t let him get close.

Blinking back the tears you hadn’t noticed arrived, you kicked the blankets off of you and trudged to the bathroom when you felt bile rise from your throat. Right. Such great timing. You were pushing the toilet lid up the next second, knees scraping against the floor as you emptied your stomach. Your head pounded as you did so, and you winced, remembering just now how Prince Tooru had visited and you drank yourself to your limit.

Which, obviously, was a decision you regretted making.

“My love!” Rintaro was behind you in an instant. He rubbed your back, held your hair up as you retched a few more times, and whispered sweet nothings that did nothing but to intensify that sick feeling in your stomach. “How much did you drink? I was so worried for you, honey—”

You slapped his hand away.

“Don’t call me that.”

If Rintaro looked defeated, he hid it extremely well. “Please. I only worry for you,” he helped you up on your feet. Fortunately for him, you were too wobbly on your own legs to complain. You quietly let him sit you on the closed toilet and sat down before you, his knees brushing against your bare feet and his handsome face deceitfully worn. “Listen...we can talk about it later, alright? You need to eat first before you get even more sick.”

“You are concerned over my well-being?”

“I am—”

“It did not feel like that yesterday.”

“Please. Let’s stop fighting.” How rare for the Crown Prince to beg, much say please more than once in a row. Wasn’t he too prideful for that?

As much as you basked in how this man was now on his knees for you, you didn’t trust yourself to not give in to whatever he asked of you. True as it was that it hurt, love didn’t disappear in a night. It wasn’t that easy to un-love someone you planned your whole life with. Of course, going back to that same hellish place he put you in would truly paint you the ignoramus, but you currently didn’t have the power to say no to him just yet. It was two years of being wired to please him at all costs. And it would take more than that to unlearn all the habits you’d formed just to align with who he wanted you to be.

But things would change now. It would no longer be the same, and you could only hope the next chapters of your life would bring about a better change.

Today marked the beginning of you detaching from your husband.

Pushing past him, you walked out with clenched fists. You would not cry in front of him now. You would not let him feel the satisfaction of how perfectly he’d executed his plan of wrapping himself around your finger until the end crashed you both. You would not let him see that you still loved him, still craved him, still fucking wished he would be genuine in comforting you and not because he had to keep you as his pliant wife.

No matter how hard it was, you needed to turn your back on him from now.

“Wait,” he grabbed you by the wrist, and you nearly collapsed on the spot from how much you yearned for his touch. “Where did you get this?”

He was pertaining to the scratches on your palm. The ones you got when he rudely pushed you off. “It’s nothing,” was all you supplied, however, because he didn’t need to know. Rintaro would feel guilty and just feed you honey-like words to thaw the ice in your heart. Soon, you would be putty in his arms again if you weren’t careful enough. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Of course I worry.” He said it like this should be obvious to you by now, and you scoffed.

“Why? Because I’m not the perfect Princess you want me to be anymore now that I have wounds?”

Rintaro’s lips puckered out. “Because I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You hurt me yesterday. Funny how fast your feelings change in the span of a night, no?” you grabbed your wrist before crossing your arms against your chest. “Is this how you always were? Kind one moment, ruthless the next? You put on so many faces and tell too many lies that I have no idea who I am talking to right now. So tell me—are you my husband who promised to take care of me and cherish me until death do us part, or are you the greedy Prince who manipulated me into marrying him?”

Rintaro does not respond. Instead, he manoeuvred around the cramped space of your bathroom and reaches for the first-aid kit on the top shelf. Your husband slowly unrolls the bandages before he takes your hand in his, touch butterfly like that you wondered if he was the same man who had been aggressive yesterday. Still, you waited with baited breath, unable to stop yourself from staring at him. And blessed he was with those hazel eyes who’d seen every ugly part of you yet stayed with you anyway—whether it was out of need or he actually cared sometimes to not mind—and that soft tuft of hair you loved running your hands to. Those lips who recited empty vows and kissed you like he meant it. That voice that made your legs quiver countless nights and now, these hands wrapping the bandages around your blistered palm with patience and grace you knew you had fallen in love with.

Tears sprung once again. Chest squeezing uncomfortably as you realized you still were, and still would, be hopelessly in love with Suna Rintaro. Heart shattering all over again when you began to accept your heart would be a chamber that hung him like an oil painting that never aged through the years. How your love would remain frozen in time along with his smiles, and you loved him so much you sometimes forget he did not love you at all.

He had someone else in his heart when yours cried out no one else’s name but his.

“Why her?” you croak out weakly, nursing your bandaged palm to your chest as you leant against the wall. Feeling your knees weaken little by little. “What does she have that I do not? Why did you love her...but not me?”

“I do not want to talk about it.”

“Why her, Rintaro?”

It was the first time you called him by his first name. The shock is apparent on his face, but Rintaro opted to shake his head before wrapping an arm around your waist. “We should eat first. Then, I will you tell everything.”

Breakfast, while not entirely comfortable, wasn’t as terrible as you expected it to be. It was difficult to stay mad at him when you were greeted by the staff who wouldn’t stop gushing about how your husband stayed up the entire night to cook for you. The said man only blushed in response, seemingly embarrassed and continuously apologizing for the mess he made in the kitchen.

Now, if Rintaro was on a mission to mess with your heart even more, it definitely worked.

All your anger dissipated as you ate the rice soup. The breakfast wasn’t anything flashy, but it contained everything you needed after a hungover. Bananas, some sliced apples, a light soup and some ginger tea to help ease your nausea. Such simple food, yet seeing as how Rintaro grew up with a silver spoon and never had to cook anything in his life before, your husband took multiple attempts to perfect the soup into a plausible taste. Not that you would ever tell him since compliments seemed far and beyond in this already failing marriage. But... you supposed, you could give him some credit. You appreciated the effort, and thanked the staff generously before you both decided to just walk back home and talk.

Greeting people as you go, your husband kept trying to hold your hand. For appearance’s sake, or because he simply wanted to have you close, you didn’t ask anymore. You shoved your hands deep into your pockets and led him into a field of dandelions—one of your favourite places as a child. The bright yellows mixing in with the lush green, along with the fresh breeze, and it would have been picture perfect.

You always wanted to visit here with Rintaro. Tell him some childhood stories. It was something you had been dreaming of around the third month of your relationship, but now that you were here standing next to your husband, you didn’t quite feel the same elation.

“This place is beautiful,” he cut the silence and faces you with a soft smile. “Imagine one day, our kids would run here with us—”

“Why are you doing this to me, Your Highness? Do you take pleasure in my suffering?”

“Princess, I—” he sighed, “Let me explain.”

“Go ahead. Tell me everything from the start and I might be kind enough to understand where you come from.”

And tell you, he did. He told you everything. From how they met, to how he had always felt this ‘pull’ with her and smiled to himself dreamily because gravity pulled him to her; they had this magnetic force that they couldn’t stay away from each other. He told you about the dreams he shared with her. The plans they made. He listed down every little thing he loved about her and remained unaware that you stood there furiously blinking back tears, because you were the wife, and you had never felt so unloved at the face of someone who proclaimed his undying affection for a woman who was not his. He reminisced about how it all went downhill when Iris married Kiyoomi, how they were so lonely that they just found home in each other. He couldn’t help it, he said, I just knew I needed to do everything to make her mine.

We were meant for each other.

And you? Who were you meant for? Perhaps, you were destined for this sick, twisted fate where you felt like the outsider, the third party, the side character, in a story that was supposed to be yours? He looked so in love. And you knew, because you mirrored everything he felt about her. You knew because you looked the same way as he does now when you were in love, and it’s not you—it’s never going to be you. It was never supposed to be you. All you could do was smile bitterly when your husband uttered her name like she had cast a spell on him. Pretending with whatever strength you had left in you to be fine.

“You love her that much you were willing to sacrifice me for it?”

“...I—”

“Did you ever think about how this would make me feel? How-How I welcomed you into my home and told you about my deepest fears and-and none of that had been real? Was there a single moment where you stopped to think maybe you were hurting someone else all because you wanted to be with the woman you want?”

“I never wanted to hurt you.”

“But that is the thing, Your Highness, you already did. You cannot undo what has been done.”

“I know that,” Rintaro stepped forward, only to be greeted by you keeping the distance bigger. The crestfallen look on his face nearly made you feel bad. “I do not expect forgiveness from you, Your Highness. Absolutely not. But if we could compromise on something—”

“What would we compromise on?” you laughed without a trace of humour, “I love you. I married you because I love you, I care about you, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. You married me out of greed. You still wish to proceed with your plans which shows you truly do not care about me, so tell me, what is there to compromise about? I want my husband more than anything else, but that is the one thing you cannot give me.”

Rintaro shook his head. “No, no. I am still yours, Princess. Iris is not my wife, you are. You are the one who I will wake up to every morning, the one I will spend the rest of my life with. We can still do the things you wish for. Iris, she... she is not a selfish woman. She has always been kind enough to let me be with you for the greater good—”

You raised a palm in front of his face.

“Please stop talking.”

Was he defeated? No. Rintaro needed more than this blatant rejection of yours. If he had been that weak or gave up any easily, then he wouldn’t get where he was right now. But at this moment, you could have sworn he meant it when his shoulders fell and called out your name.

“Had we met earlier, I would have loved you first.”

“That just hurts me more.”

“I was, and am genuinely happy with you, my wife,” he reassured, but it didn’t stop making you cry. It didn’t ease the pain as Rintaro slowly encaged you in his embrace. Your tears staining his shirt and fists crumpling the material as you felt yourself die little by little. “Shh, Princess. Not a part of me regrets reciting my vows to you on that day in front of the entire kingdom. Believe it or not, but I adore you. I love listening to your stories and hearing you laugh, and-and you are kind. You are strong. You are an extremely beautiful and loving woman that I am the luckiest man in the world to have been your husband.”

“But you do not love me,” you cried harder, “You will never look at me the way you look at her.” When the Prince remained silent, so did you. He didn’t deny it this time—how you would never receive the same treatment as Iris. That fact alone had you pulling back to stare at your husband’s eyes.

“Does she make you happier than I do, Your Highness?”

Ignorance was bliss, indeed. If only you could turn back time and undo this moment where you stopped curiosity from getting the best of you, perhaps you would not be twice as heartbroken when Rintaro nodded. No hesitation in his features. Just pure love, and an ounce of regret and guilt from the way you slowly crumbled before him.

“Yes, she does. The Princess is my entire universe. I would be utterly devastated and lost without her.”

It felt as if the wind had been knocked out of your body. It became a challenge to speak, to feel the tips of your fingers as you stepped back one time, two time, three times until the distance was just as big as the hole he punctured through your heart. Now, you had enough. You had reached your limit, learned your lesson, been humbled to your place—and Rintaro had no intention of taking his words back.

He meant it.

He would lose himself if Iris disappeared from his life.

With that, you had no choice but to force a smile. “I understand,” you declared, wiping your pathetic tears because it hadn’t been an hour since you promised you would be stronger now. But luck was never on your side, and you still kept tripping and wounding yourself. “I...I would like to return to the castle, Your Highness. There is no need to extend this trip any longer than it should be.”

“We don’t need to return right away, Princess. There are still plenty of things we can do—”

“Please refrain from sharing any activities with me from now on unless it is bound by duty. No eyes are looking, so you have no responsibilities with me right now,” you sent him a pointed gaze. “I wish to return to the city, and that is final. Do not question my decisions as I will not interfere with yours.”

Rintaro’s lips flattened into a thin line. You couldn’t bear yourself to look at him anymore, so you walked away from him, salty tears cascading down your cheeks, and the wedding ring heavier than the weight in your heart.

From today onwards, you might not recognize yourself anymore.

None of the Princes and their wives questioned the sudden return to Inarizaki Palace.

When they saw you and Rintaro walk in with gloom faces, everyone shuffled to their feet and quickly packed their things. No words or explanations needed. This honeymoon had already ended on a sour note, and now it was time to return to the reality of royal obligations and duties. Duties such as keeping a fake smile plastered at all times when the supportive citizens of Inarizaki waved and cheered at the couples’ arrival. Atrocious obligations such as letting your husband place a possessive hand at the small of your back when the rest of his brothers welcomed you into the lobby, the youngest Prince bouncing at his feet at the sight of you.

“Back so soon, sister? Did you guys enjoy?”

You shared a quick, affectionate glance with Rintaro. “We did. I had the time of my life, but I thought it unnecessary to dilly-dally around in my hometown when royal duties await us all.”

“As expected of my sister. You are always so adept,” praised the marvelled Prince Tobio who had taken himself to looping himself to your arm. It left Rintaro awkwardly following behind as you were guided to your shared chambers, but you weren’t complaining. The youngest Prince was lively and brightened up your bitter days. “Say, would you mind taking me to Greenville someday when we are both free? I heard you had the loveliest manor there.”

“It would be my honour, Your Highness.”

“Please,” he beamed, and instantly, you were given a reason to endure this hell even longer. “Call me brother, we are family now. But ah, it is night time! I should let the both of you rest. Take good care of her, brother!”

Rintaro offered a nod. The both of you waited as Prince Tobio left the room in high spirits when the uncomfortable silence stretched, leaving you to scurry changing into your sleepwear in opt of avoiding your husband’s gaze. Once done, you let your hands roam over the cream pillars surrounding the edges of your king sized bed with a robin egg blue and gold palette. A golden chandelier with diamonds hung from the ceiling above the bed, the bed post textured with coral shaped indents. The same shade of blue hung from the windows. A large television right across the bed with a cream coloured cabinet lined with gold outlines—a perfect room for a man who would be sleeping by himself. Who, by the way, was already comfortably settled into the left side of the bed with his arm propped behind his head.

“Where are you headed?”

“Outside?”

“In your nightgown? Absolutely not.”

“In the drawing room, my Prince. I am not stepping out of our quarters dressed like this.”

“But it is time for bed.”

“Indeed, and I do not wish to share one with you when you and your mistress must have rolled around in it already. Good night, Your Highness,” you sent him a preppy smile, bowing deep before shutting the doors shut. A baffled Rintaro about to leave his bed the last thing you saw.

Hearing the doors close behind you, you practically crashed into the couch. You were beyond exhausted and your head still pounded from your endless crying—it was now time for a good night’s sleep. Not that it would be good, no matter how soft the cushion may be, because the palatial room did nothing but echo the loneliness residing in your heart.

Unbeknownst to you, Rintaro wouldn’t stop tossing and turning in his bed. The clock ticking got to his nerves until he was cracking open every book, tossing the television to random channels, and even swiping his fingers across the countertops to check for dust. He couldn’t sleep—not when his wife wasn’t beside him. This wasn’t how he pictured his marriage out to be; sleeping alone, with his wife intent on keeping her distance. Still, Rintaro thought, shouldn’t he be happy? You were not getting in his way. You were not particularly malicious to Iris on the way back home, or anytime after that, despite his confession that he knew wounded you. You simply ignored her existence, and now it was his turn.

Did you intend on pretending he wasn’t there too? Because Rintaro wasn’t having any of it. He would rather you hit him, scream at him, even call him a monster if it meant you looked at his way.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Rintaro walked to the doors and prepared himself to carry you back to bed when he heard it—the sounds of muffled cries and nearly inaudible whimpers.

He didn’t know why his mouth tasted sour and bitter at the same time.

Rintaro had no idea why he stepped away from the doors like what stood behind it scared him, and slowly returned to the bed. The door acted as a barrier between the two hearts who unknowingly kept themselves up and awake until the sun rose the next morning—Rintaro with a heavy chest of guilt, and your heart gradually losing the spark it once held for him.

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komorim · 2 years

Text

to be in another’s shoes

suna rintarou (post timeskip) x gn!reader

suna never would’ve thought that after being called cold countless times, he would finally experience how terrible it feels to have a cold partner

content warnings // post timeskip. manga spoilers. heavy angst. character death. mentions of sa. pain all around :)

word count // 2.7k

author’s note // i literally had this idea for ages and i’ve finally decided to write it. (ps: the whole thing is in past tense but the indented stuff are like “flashbacks” where it’s present tense)

he remembered how the two of you first met. he remembered how his younger sister was obsessed with ice skating at the time, and how he had been dragged along to see a competition one day. he remembered groveling in his seat as the show began. most importantly, he remembered the awe he felt when you entered the rink.

it was just a simple warmup before the competition, yet he couldn’t take his eyes off of you right from the start. there was something that was just so alluring about you. how as you sped up, your hair blew behind you. how your outfit blew with your hair. how the lighting seemed to be shining on you alone. suna swore it was such a beautiful sight that he could never forget it as long as he lived. and he didn’t. he watched as you carried out a series of moves and although none of them was nearly as wonderful as your final performance, each and every twist and turn blew him away.

he remembered how his sister bothered him about how beautiful this other competitor was, and he couldn’t listen to any of what she was saying. when his sister realized that he was staring at you, she almost burst.

“don’t tell me you like y/n,” she whispers, hitting his arm.

“who’s that?”

“the one you’re staring at! they’re known for having the worst personality in the industry, so even if they’re very accomplished, they barely have any fans.”

suna turns towards his sister with furrowed eyebrows, all too familiar where this is heading. “for all you know, that may be just a rumor.”

and indeed it was.

suna and his sister had met you backstage and you were quite nice to say the least. in fact, his sister had loved you so much that once she got home, she posted massive pieces of text on social media about how nice you were; how you didn’t deserve all those nasty things said about you in the industry.

and the moment his sister had started liking you, also marked a major turning point in suna’s life. maybe the most important change too.

from then on, every time you had a competition, his sister would accompany him to see it. due to your low number of fans, the two of them became gradually closer and closer to you, often meeting you backstage to congratulate or reassure you. and when you won first place at the nationals, you almost cried the moment you saw their brilliant smiles.

it was also on that same day that suna’s sister had finally asked for your phone number in her brother’s stead. the mere question made you flustered, not knowing how to handle a situation like this. suna, on the other hand, was blushing as he hurriedly explained himself, all the while glaring at his pleased sister. he didn’t expect her to actually tell you about his growing crush, especially not in this manner.

but what surprised him even more was that you had actually took the phone in her hand and typed in your number. it felt almost like a dream when you handed back his phone, smiling as you told him you were also terribly happy that you had the opportunity to meet him.

and that was how your love story began. it started with simple checkup texts to simplistic dates, and suna was with you every part of the journey.

and even to this day, he remembers the day he finally asked you out. he remembers how his friends, particularly the twins, always bothered him about when he would ask for you to become his. he often dismissed the question with the reason that he’s busy with volleyball, but he knows from the bottom of his heart that he couldn’t wait either.

when he sent out that text asking if you were free tomorrow, his heart almost dropped when you said you didn’t. however, you were just as entranced by the volleyball player, and followed up with the response that you would make sure to make time for him.

the nervousness suna had felt was an emotion he never felt before. he usually wasn’t the initiative one in a relationship, so now when the roles were switched, he was terrified something would go wrong. he continually asked osamu if there was anything he missed, and he didn’t even want to think of the possibility of you saying no. so when you finally walked towards him with a smile on your face, suna swore he wanted to back out of the plan. but he didn’t.

after a series of walking around and doing activities he meticulously planned out (with the help of kita and osamu of course), he finally came to a halt in front of you. he felt your eyes on him as he clumsily searched his pocket for the necklace that would be a mark of his love for you.

“i’ve been thinking…and”

you display a curious look on your face as suna turns around to face you. “and what?”

you can see the red creeping on his neck even as his facial expression stays the same. “and,” there was a long pause, “would you like to go out with me?”

suna remembers the tears in your eyes as you almost knock him over with a hug. obviously, your answer had been yes, confessing to him that you had anticipated the question for quite a while now. and thus, a new segment of your relationship had been unlocked.

to say suna was a good boyfriend would be an understatement. he remembered all the small little anniversaries that you could never seem to recall, and would always prepare things that never fail to bring a smile to your face. it wouldn’t be a lie to say that he put more effort into your relationship than any other he has been in, and suna knows this deep down inside of him. he was absolutely mesmerized by you, and the fading of emotions he experienced with others seemed to be impossible in your relationship. contrarily, he fell deeper in love with you as the days passed.

though he remembers clearly the day the two of you took it a step further. the day he asked you to move in with him. it was the start of yet another adventure in which the two of you would share together.

you have told suna once that you believed that when couples move in together, they realize a part of their partner that did not know about. however, this would usually end up being an unpleasant detail that could ultimately lead to the separation of a once loving pair. because of this, suna wanted even more to prove you wrong; he wanted to show you that he loved you no matter what.

the dates didn’t stop even as the two of you saw each other every single day. the gifts never stopped either. it became a safe haven to come home to a place where you would be able to find your loved one in. suna’s volleyball career and your ice skating one made it terribly difficult to meet previously, but quality time was not a problem now.

he remembered specifically one day where he had waited for you to come home, a promise ring in his hand as he decided to prove his love to you once more. you never had that many insecurities, but suna felt the need to show you that there wasn’t a need to worry in the slightest. he waited for a few hours before he finally heard the door unlocking. the flowers he set on the table were your favorite and he grabbed them quickly, eager to surprise you.

your voice is dragged out and heavy with fatigue, though you still smile at the sight of your lovely boyfriend. “i’m home”

suna approaches you and hands you the flowers with a smile matching your own. he watches you sniff the flowers before showing you the ring. “y/n, i want you to know that that day my sister dragged me to your competition was the best day of my life. the day i felt finally complete; you make me feel complete. i have to thank myself for going to that competition, to let myself meet you. i know i may seem distant at times, but i want you to know that my love for you has never lessened, not one bit. i understand that both of our careers make it so that we’re both so busy, but i want to use this ring,” he chokes on his words a bit, “to tell you that there will definitely come a day in which i will formally ask for your hand in marriage. so please, believe in us and stay by my side”

that was the second time suna witnessed you cry, and although it was on a happy occasion, he told himself that he would never make you cry. he couldn’t bear the thought of being the reason your heart ached.

if suna could say that the four years the two of you spent dating was like a dream, then he would be entirely correct. everything was so unreal; he could’ve never thought that he would be so attached to someone. especially seeing as all his exes broke up with him because he was too cold. but after meeting you, he now knows that anything is possible.

anything is possible.

looking back now, he notices where it all started. where everything started going right. and where everything started going wrong.

the things his teammates shared with him about their love lives made him notice how he was the one putting in most of the effort in your relationship. of course, he knew from the start, but it didn’t bother him as much as it did after hearing their stories.

he started to question.

and questioning is the start of any crack in a relationship.

at first it was just the differences between his experience with you and his friends’ relationships. but he chalked it up to how you and him were different from his friends, it was natural that your relationship didn’t work the same way. but then he started noticing and magnifying all the things wrong with your bond.

the way you called him rin less and less. did you not feel so close to him anymore?

the way you always came home so late. did you not want to be in the same house as him anymore?

the way you never asked about his day anymore. did you not care enough about him?

the way you slept facing away from him. did you not want to even look at him now?

and all hell broke loose when he first pointed out these minuscule things. from small disputes, to arguments leaving the two of you not talking for days. to finally, one argument became the splinter that drove you two apart, splitting your relationship in half.

“can you calm down, suna?” you say, hands going through your hair as you sigh in exasperation.

“this is what i mean, y/n! you never call me rin anymore, it feels like we’re back to being strangers!” suna hears how ridiculous he must sound, why is he being so sensitive now?

“suna, i’ve just been really tired from practice and i don’t have the energy to go through with this daily quota you expect of me”

“it’s not that you’re too tired, y/n, just admit it! our relationship is falling apart.”

you try to reason with him, “suna, maybe you’re just reading too much into this-”

“all you care about is yourself, y/n! you don’t contribute to our relationship, and you certainly don’t act like you love me.” suna’s voice grows colder as the argument drags on, and his voice no longer carries the affection he has for you. “maybe those things said about you are true. you’re just a cold-blooded reptile that doesn’t love your fans or me! you only love yourself.”

and suna remembers the hurt in your eyes as you told him to calm down while you crash at your friend’s place for the next few days. the tears hanging on to the rim of your eyes as you finished your sentence. he remembers how you walked out the door without another word. how tears were rolling down your face when you left. he remembers how he didn’t do anything to stop you.

and even if remembers so many things, he doesn’t remember the days following your departure. but he explicitly remembers how it was only after you left did he start to notice all the contributions that you did put into your relationship. how although suna never cleaned the house, your house still stayed very clean. how even though you often came home late, there would always be breakfast waiting for him in the morning.

he also recalls the many phone calls with kita, and the twins coming over often. the twins visiting him brought something to his attention that someone as observant as him missed. the limp in your leg. the weird way you had walked for the past three months.

atsumu grabs the tv remote, turning it down just so he could yell at suna for his stupidity. “how did you not notice?” atsumu exclaimed.

osamu is much more stable than his older brother, sitting down next to suna to speak to him more gently. “y/n has had an acl tear for a while now, and unfortunately, it happened during a performance. with their personality, you should be able to guess that the performance wasn’t stopped. the injury worsened and the doctors said that even after reconstruction, skating professionally is out of the question.”

atsumu sighs, “my poor friend, y/n has been doing physical therapy and going all over the place trying to find something that can better their condition. you know how much skating means to y/n. it’s not like they have been coming home late because they wanted to.”

suna is lost in thought. he had been so caught up picking at the little things wrong that he didn’t even realize you were injured. he wants to hit himself for being so stupid. since when did he become such a paranoid person? this wasn’t like him at all.

the twins look at each other for a pause while suna sits with his head in his hands. none of them wanted to tell him, but it seemed inevitable at this point. osamu finally speaks, “suna…there’s also something else you should know.”

“the things your fans have been saying about y/n are terrible nowadays. they’ve been calling y/n a leech. some of the fans mistook y/n’s injury for them being lazy, saying how they’re now reliant on you and won’t even respect their career. some of the other names they’re called is even worse, and-”

something coming from the television catches their attention, and osamu stops talking. “just in. two time winning champion of the single skating nationals, and love interest of volleyball player suna rintaro, y/n, was seen protecting a victim subject to sexual assault. witnesses share that the perpetrator was making the victim noticeably uncomfortable, and y/n had stepped in when things were about to go too far. the perpetrator then pushed y/n, causing them to hit their head on a nearby pole. massive amounts of blood was lost, and the situation of y/n, who was taken by the ambulance twenty minutes ago, is unknown as of now.”

the two twins next to suna stare at each other with widened eyes, terrified at the sudden news.

though none of them could compare to suna, who went into a state of almost hysteria. “there’s no way that’s y/n.” he looks at the miya twins with a smile that makes the two uneasy. “it doesn’t even look like y/n! right?” when suna didn’t receive an answer, he continued to speak, but this time, more to himself. “you can’t even see their face, it couldn’t be y/n.”

suna’s phone was ringing and atsumu picks it up, seeing as suna was in no state to answer the phone. yet he didn’t realize that suna’s phone was on full volume as the doctor on the other side shared the news. “is this suna rintaro? we found you in y/n’s emergency contacts. we’re sad to inform you that they arrived at the er already dead, and our efforts to revive them did not succeed. we send our condolences and will answer any questions if needed. for now, i will leave you to accept the news.”

suna remembers crying that day. he remembers all the small things about you. he thinks about how you left this world without knowing that he didn’t really mean all the things he said that night.

and he remembers the promise he made to himself to never be the reason for your tears.

do not copy or repost my works. likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated.

#suna rintaro angst #suna rintaro oneshot #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintaro x reader angst #suna x reader #suna x reader angst #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #suna angst #suna x you #suna rintaro x you #suna rintarō #hq x reader #[🎐]. works

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tetsumie · 1 year

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"𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐎 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘"

read part 2 here!

pairing: tsukishima x reader & suna x reader

genre: hurt/comfort

a/n: sorry i got carried away writing these ahh i sort of twisted the prompt of "when they call you clingy" into my own sort of thing idk how to explain but hopefully this turned out well :,) also not proofread so sorry about the mistakes! and as always feel free to send me requests and tell me ur thoughts on my writing!

tsukishima kei

tsukishima, you, and a few of the former karsuno volleyball players decided to have a small little reunion dinner after not seeing each other for so long.

everyone's embracing each other with hugs and to be frank, it's really nice of him to invite you to meet his friends from high school! you're really looking forward to getting to know them and maybe even getting to know your boyfriend a bit more.

as all of you are sitting at the table debating what to order, there's much chit chat between everyone and you swear you haven't seen kei so carefree in a while. sure, he's still throwing his sarcastic, snarky comments but they don't hit too harshly towards his teammates.

they are most definitely used to this.

the food has arrived and way too much wine has been ordered. with their slurred words and pink cheeks, you can tell all of them are going to blackout the moment they all get home.

"kei, so how'd you pull this gorgeous girl?" tanaka asks out of nowhere "ain't no way she fell for your snarky ass personality."

you and him both let out a chuckle and he replied with, "nah, they're just clingy as fuck and i guess they were fun to keep around."

you go quiet and the laughter has sort of died out. but the drinks keep pouring and nishinoya speaks.

"god, you're a fucking asshole," nishinoya chimes. "she's way too good for you.

although the conversation begins to take a turn in a different direction, you can't seem to get his words out of your mind.

clingy. he thinks i'm clingy.

a ball of insecurity starts to form in your stomach and his comment starts the train of overthinking. you keep telling yourself that he's had too many drinks.

yet a part of you is telling you that drunk thoughts are sober words.

how long has he thought of me as "clingy?"

the small chuckles and laughs that escape your lips have come to a halt and now you're feeling incredibly insecure. you begin to zone out and start chugging down a few glasses of wine to drown out your surroundings.

after a few eventful hours, you and tsukishima decide to grab a taxi and head home for the night. he unlocks the door to your shared apartment and you immediately head into the bedroom to change your clothes, not sparing him a second glance.

tsukishima enters the bed after cleaning up and his arm drapes over your chest. your body goes completely stiff and you're super uncomfortable with his touch, especially after his comment about you being clingy.

the moment you hear his light snores, you slowly remove his arm off your body and turn to face away from him. a feeling of numbness begins to overtake your body and you feel a sense of emptiness within.

the next morning, tsukishima woke up with a horrible headache and he instantly regretted drinking so much last night. he groans and pats your side of the bed and is greeted by just the bedsheets and not you.

grumbling, he got out of bed in search of you and finds you standing by the balcony with a cup of coffee in your hand. in that moment, his heart skips a beat and he's reminded of how much he loves you.

you yelp in surprise when you feel two arms slither around your torso and his chin resting on your shoulder. "good morning baby," he kisses your cheek.

"hi kei," you say curtly.

"what's for breakfast?"

"i just made myself toasted bread with jam. you can just make some cereal or something. i think we still have your lucky charms in the pantry," you tell him.

he pulls away from you and he feels something is off with you. you feel distant.

the feeling is confirmed when the both of you are sitting on the living room sofa while watching the new episode of your favorite reality tv show. kei expects you to come close to him and rest your head on his shoulder like you usually do yet there you are, in his vicinity, but sitting on the other end of the couch, clinging to a throw pillow.

he can't seem to concentrate on the movie when the only thing he can see is you sitting to yourself, gone completely quiet. he doesn't know what's wrong and he can't rack his mind as to what might have happened that made you so distant.

after the movie ends, he kisses your forehead and he feels your body stiffen.

what's going on? i don't know what i did?

he pulls away and looks at you. "y/n, something's wrong," he states.

you refuse to meet his gaze now and your twiddling with your fingers. he seems to have no recollection of what he's said to you last night. although, he might not recall what he said, it's the only thing you can recall in your mind. ever since this morning, whenever, you look at him, the only thing running in your mind is his words, "nah, she's just clingy as fuck and i guess she was fun to keep around."

"we're good," you reply promptly. "don't worry about it."

he grabs your hands and puts them in his which catches you off guard. you love the feeling of his hand in yours but the rational part of your brain wants to pull away, thinking about how he thought you were so clingy.

"listen, i'm not good at this. i'm not good at communicating my feelings but for you, i want to do better. so please, it would mean a lot if you could tell me what's wrong so i can help you and... us."

this is the most genuine you've seen him in a while and although to most, it may have seemed like some half-assed speech but to you, it felt raw and vulnerable.

"ok well," you began. "last night, when we were out with your friends, you were talking with your friends and well, you mentioned something about me. and it made me wonder if you think i'm clingy?"

he was confused. "no, i don't think you're clingy anymore? i don't know what you're talking about?"

the "anymore" in his response to you was something that saddened you a little. he found me clingy yet never told me?

"so you did think i was clingy, right?"

with a deep breath, he began to explain himself, "when we got together, i wasn't really used to... being so close to someone. you would always hold my hand or loop your arm in mine or something. you would always be holding me or touching me and i wasn't sure how i felt it about it at first. i was never one for physical touch so when you began to show that to me, i just... it felt... suffocating."

you're looking into his eyes, swimming with sadness and searching for answers, and he feels a mixture of sadness and guilt as he continues to explain himself.

"but being with you, i've grown to love your touch and honestly, now that i think about it, i don't know what i'd do if you just stopped being yourself and clinging on to me. i would go insane if you stopped."

kei leans in for a hug and you hug him back. you missed holding him like this and well, you just miss him. but now that kei has said all this, you're not sure about anything anymore.

you pull away and tell him, "i'm sorry you couldn't tell me that you were uncomfortable with my touches. i should have asked you how fast or slow you wanted to go and i shouldn't have forced my affection on to you."

"if you want, we can slow down. i understand," you say with a tone of finality in your voice.

"no!" he immediately replied. "it's.. it's not that. you don't force your affection on to me. you never have. i just am awkward with affection and growing up, i've never had it so i'd get super fidgety and that's why i think i felt like you were being clingy. but i love it."

"i love it when you hold my hand when we're walking to the grocery store. i love it when you doodle on my hand with your fingers when we're waiting for the food to come when we eat out. i love it when you tell me about the little stories from work while you're cooking dinner. i love it when you mumble in your sleep and snuggle close to me when it gets cold at night. i love everything about you."

kei was very much out of his comfort zone as he told you all these things and it surprised you that he noticed all these little details. you could tell he was getting embarrassed, considering how his cheeks were turning pink. you couldn't help but let a little smile seep through your facial features.

"you're so sappy," you reply.

"oh shut up."

you both laugh and then he cups your cheek in his hand, rubbing his thumb in circles. "don't ever think you force your affection on me because you never do, okay?"

"okay, kei."

the both of you spend the rest of the day with one another, making comforting memories together that the both of you will fondly remember in the future.

suna rintaro

you're not even sure how this argument even started. all you can remember is asking suna if he could accompany you to a work party that you were invited to. it was supposed to be a relatively relaxing event with not too much worries yet suna was once again trying to bail out.

"come on rin! it's one party and we never get to go out anymore," you try again for the nth time.

"y/n, jesus, i told you this, i don't want to fucking go! practice is draining me out and the one day i get off, you want me to go to some stupid fucking work party. can't you see that i want to be home?"

"we won't even have to be there that long! i just want you to come with me so you can meet some of my friends and support me. i'm really not asking for much," you counter. "i'm always trying to go to your games to support you from the stands and i'm asking you to do this one thing for me."

"i never fucking asked you to come to my games!" suna's voice began to rise and you felt yourself shrink. you had never seen him so intensely angry before. he was always so nonchalant so seeing this side of him made you nervous. "god, you're just so suffocating with everything. you always wanna do shit together, like jeez, give me a break. you're so fucking clingy sometimes; i just want space."

your mouth snaps shut and you can't find it in yourself to even reply. suna leaves the bedroom and you can head the jangle of his keys and the front door opens and then slams shut. a tear escapes from one eye and then all of a sudden, it's a full blown mental breakdown. you're sitting on the bed, crying off all your makeup.

after your cries turn into sniffles, you call up one of your colleagues, telling them you won't be attending the party. that night, you end up crying yourself to sleep.

suna had come home quite late that night after storming out.

in his head, he admits that the argument had blown up for no reason. but he just really didn't want to see your coworkers. he was cranky, annoyed, and irritated, making him deeply irrational.

as he walks into the bedroom, he sees you fast asleep in your clothes that you were planning to go out in and your makeup smudged all over your face. he felt incredibly guilty.

he messed up big time and he had to fix this. he hoped in the morning, the both of you would wake up together so he could talk it out and apologize.

you wake up the next morning feeling a lot better than last night. you turn to see suna lying in bed and a part of you just wants to run your fingers through your hair. as your fingers hover above his head, you're reminded of his words from last night.

you're so fucking clingy sometimes. i just want space.

your fingers immediately retracted and you decided to get up to start the rest of your day. you didn't want to let his words get to you. he said his opinion and there's nothing much you could do other than give him space. you'd be doing him a favor by giving him that space that he wanted, right?

suna shifts in bed, arm reaching out to your side of the bed, subconsciously. as he pats down your side of the bed, he feels the emptiness and he jolts up out of bed.

he's walking out of the bedroom and he sees you sitting on the couch, watching something on the television.

a sigh of relief escapes his mouth, thanking whatever deity out there that you hadn't left. even if you did, he couldn't blame you for it. he hurt you and there was no denying that.

"hi babe," he casually says alouds and plops on the couch next to you.

"hey."

your tone is cold and to be frank, you could care less than speak to him right now. seeing him is just a constant reminder of how clingy you are and you really don't want to be confronted with the feeling of sadness again.

in an attempt to smooth things over with you, he tries to start conversation in hopes that things will get back to normal naturally and maybe.. just maybe you'll know that he's sorry without him saying it.

"osamu was talking about some new onigiri thing he made and he wanted to drop some off for us to try. should i say yes?" he asked.

"sure."

your responses to his efforts are completely shut down and he's just praying that things get better with time. he reassures himself that things will go back to normal, it's just a matter of time. within a few days, things will be back to normal!

that's what he thought until his first volleyball match of the season came about. as he was standing in the court, his eyes scanned the rest of the stadium for your figure in hopes of finding you wearing his jersey but to no avail, he couldn't find you.

he assumed you were running late or stuck in traffic. no matter what you would be here, right?

but the first set is already over and you're nowhere to be seen. taking a quick break, he texts you:

suna: r u here?

suna: i don't see u in the stands.

it's delivered and suna's back in the court. he's misreading all of the opponent's attacks and his blocks are all being haphazardly done. the only thing on his mind is you.

the EJP coach calls for a timeout and sits him out for the rest of the match. "i don't know what's going on with you but you need to pull it together. your slacking is messing up with the rest of the team," coach berated him and all suna could do was nod his head.

he sat on the bench and immediately grabs his phone to text you.

suna: can you please answer?

suna: or call me? please?

suna: fuck y/n

suna: r u ok?

with no response, concern is etched onto his face. he tells his coach that he has to go and although he's about to suffer hell when he goes to practice tomorrow for dipping, he needs to see you.

you're seeing all of his messages.

you've seen all of them.

and you don't want to respond to a single one of them.

you know he's coming home and he's about to bombard you with questions and you don't want to respond to him. you don't want to come off as clingy again.

you hear the jangle of the keys and prepare yourself.

he opens the door and finds you in the kitchen, making yourself some snacks.

"so where were you today?" he begins.

"at home."

his hands find their way to your waist and he slowly turns you around to look him in the eye. "why didn't you come?"

you sigh in frustration. "i don't know what you want from me. you say i'm clingy and you want some space and on top of that you mentioned how you've never asked me to go to any of your games so here i am respecting your wishes like you asked yet you have the fucking audacity to ask me where i was and why i wasn't with you?"

his hands let go of your waist and he steps back to fully look at you.

"rin, i don't know what you want from me anymore."

suna's mouth opens and then shuts, not sure as to what to say to you. you were more upset about his comment than you let on and now all your anger and frustration was coming out.

"listen, i-"

"no, you listen to me," you interrupt, immediately shutting him up. "all i wanted that night was for you to come to my work party. it's all i wanted. that party was mainly for me because i helped our company reach this new milestone! and i wanted you to come and celebrate with me and my colleagues. is it so much to ask for my boyfriend to come support me?"

"and then you go on to say i'm clingy and do you have any idea how much it hurt me when you said that? when you would talk to me about anything, the only thing going through my head would be the fact that you called me clingy and god, i just wanted to vanish in thin air because i hated knowing that you thought that of me which is why i gave you your space. i kept thinking you just didn't want my affection."

you rest your elbows on the kitchen countertop and put your face in your hands. you finally burst out with all the feelings that have been suffocating your mind. it felt good to finally relieve it all but you could only imagine what was going through his mind. was he mad or upset or did he just not care about my feelings?

all of a sudden, you feel two arms wrap around your torso and kisses to the top of your head.

"love, you're not clingy. if anything, i'm the clingy one. i always want you by my side like at my games or when i go out with my friends or even if i'm just lying in bed. i want you."

he strokes your hair and now you're turning around to look at him again. his eyes are wide and a bit glassy. this is probably one of the first times you've seen emotion on his face aside from his regular snarky remarks.

"i wish i could take back what i said that night but i can't. but please know that i don't know what i'd do without you. i was really upset that night and all i wanted to was just sleep it off. but your insistence to go got me aggravated and i lashed out. you don't deserve that. you never deserve that."

"i want to be the one you wake up to in the morning. i want to be the one you take to all your work parties and events. i want to be the one you tell you gossip with. i want to be the one you have your late night talks with. i want to be the one you end your nights with. i want to be the one you spend the rest of your life with. i want to be yours."

tears started to escape your eyes and your heart was swollen. suna was never one to be so open with his emotions yet here he was opening so much to you. you hug his torso and sob into his chest.

"i love you, i'm sorry," you say.

"i love you too, and i'm sorry too," he replies, kissing the top of your forehead.

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renardiererin · 1 year

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tattoo artist!suna who uses his surprising strength to keep your legs spread open with his head a little bit too close to your pussy as he presses the ink into the spot on your inner thigh you requested

tattoo artist!suna whose breathing gets heavier everytime you whimper at the pain of the needle

tattoo artist!suna who “accidentally” runs his fingertips lightly over your nipples when you come back in the next week saying you want a tattoo under your boob

tattoo artist!suna who holds you tightly by your throat when you say you want a tattoo on your collarbone

tattoo artist!suna who puts his thumb on your bottom lip and pulls it down with a light pinch of the flesh when you say you want a tattoo on the inside of your bottom lip

“this is gonna hurt a bit, pretty. you sure you’re ready?”

tattoo artist!suna who can barley contain himself when you realize the pain of a lip tattoo was worse than you expected, as you wrap your hands in his hair and tense every muscle in your body.

tattoo artist!suna who- once you’re dating, and have gotten used to him giving you random little tattoos at home all the time- will hold a pretty vibrator in your dripping pussy, overstimulating you and your pretty clit until you’re crying and shaking as he tells you to stay still so he can finish the tattoo on the back of your thigh

“stay still, doll face, i can’t fuck this up. the more you shake, the harder it is to ink you up”

tattoo artist!suna who happily engraves his name in your thigh, opposite of the spot where he gave you your first tattoo that time when he wanted so badly to take off your little shorts and dive into your pretty pussy right then.

tattoo artist!suna who now knows you’re his and his only, and can fulfill the fantasies that once clouded his brain.

tattoo artist!suna who forces patience out of himself so that first thing when he’s done writing his name on your thigh he can slide off your thin underwear and tell you for the thousandth time about how to take care of a new tattoo in between licks up your pussy, until he’s done and can finally tonguefuck his pretty girl into orgasm.

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noosayog · 1 year

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[Said Enough] Suna might have said too much but what's he supposed to do if you won't let him apologize?

wc: 1k

contents/warnings: angst(!!!) to fluff, quick drabble bc my Atsumu exes to lovers longfic isn't writing itself

“Oh,” you say. You stare at Suna and he watches you blink once before the last bit of light in your eyes dies out, irises glazing over.

Shit, he thinks. He’s running after you because he realizes what’s about to happen next.

All that comes out of your mouth is “okay. Um. I’ll just…” you don’t finish that sentence before running to the bathroom and locking the door shut.

He runs after you, but you beat him to it. The door slammed in his face, Suna rests his forehead against the wood and lays a flat palm on the divider between you two. “Baby…”

He doesn’t know what to say. He can hear your sobs and hiccups through the door, frustrated that he’s the cause but can’t get to you.

Scared to death thinking about what giving you your space could mean for the two of you.

“Baby, I’m sorry. Can you please open the door so we can talk?” but he knows it’s a lost cause. It’s been a lost cause since you beat him to the door. Turning around so that his back is against the door, he crumples down to the floor, head buried in his hands.

He should’ve known the second he saw the shutter in your eyes. He should’ve- fuck - he should’ve grabbed onto you to stop you from closing that door and shutting yourself away. He completely deserves to be single after the hurtful things he said to you tonight, and he wants a chance to apologize. Preferably, to your face. But with a literal wall between you two, you now have all night to think about what he said. All night to realize you deserve better. All night to conclude that you should leave him. Nothing scares him more than the look you’ll give him in the morning when you realize how much he doesn’t deserve you.

The rest of the night is spent periodically checking in on you and sending apologies through the walls. Your sobbing eventually quiets down into slow, measured deep breaths and but that brings little comfort. He can only hope you’re peacefully asleep and not awake to gather your thoughts and solidify your breakup speech for him.

–

Suna’s jolted awake next morning when the wall he’s leaning against suddenly shifts. He’s falling backwards as the door slowly opens, revealing your swollen cheeks and red eyes.

As if his nightmares have come true, there’s no uncertainty in your expression. It’s polite and shuttered.

“Rintaro,” you rasp, voice gravelly.

He’s already shaking his head.

“I think we should-”

He can’t let you finish that sentence. If this is the last chance he’s been waiting for, he needs to do something. So he puts both hands on your shoulders, gently, and looks straight into your eyes. It takes a surprising amount of courage to face that foreign look you’re fixing him with, and he realizes how lucky he has been to always be on the receiving end of your warm gaze and easy smiles.

“Please,” he whispers, almost begging. “Give me a chance to say I’m sorry.”

“I think you’ve said enough,” you respond, avoiding his eyes.

“Sometimes,” he starts. “Sometimes, I say too much and I’ll try harder to not do that. But more than that, I don’t say enough. I don’t tell you I love you enough and I don’t tell you how much I appreciate everything you do for me enough. I also don’t say I’m sorry enough but I want to stop doing things that I’d need to apologize for.”

You’re still not looking at him, but your lips are wavering and your eyes are watering.

“But I can’t change last night, so I want to apologize. I’m so, so sorry, baby. I’ll say it as many times as I need to.” As many times as you’ll allow me to.

His heart is palpitating and he can feel his pulse racing so hard, he can feel it through his veins. He wants to clench his fist to channel the nerves elsewhere, but they’re on your shoulders, and after last night, he can’t even think of treating you with anything other than the gentlest of touches. So you can understand how much you mean to him and how much he means to take care of you.

Yes, he didn’t mean any of the things he said last night, but he does mean to treat you well. He only hopes those intentions are enough.

Suna puts a hand on your cheeks and wipes the tears away with his thumbs, fingers lingering. Your tears don’t stop and the hiccups are starting again. You’re shaking your head at him and his heart drops. He hasn’t thought about what he would do if you don’t accept his apology. His voice is shaking a bit as he pleads his case.

“I… don’t want to break up,” the last two words whispered, as if he was scared that saying them aloud would give them power.

You’re sobbing, not saying anything, just shaking your head.

Suna doesn’t know what that means, only desperately hoping that you mean you don’t want to separate either. He throws his arms around you, tightly crushing you against his chest. He squeezes his eyes shut, bracing for impact, and he can hardly believe it when you reciprocate.

“You were so mean to me, Rin,” you blubber.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry.”

“I hate you,” you’re wailing right into his neck now.

“I know, I know. I love you.”

When your sobs finally settle down, you keep your arms around his neck. “Rin, I’m sleepy,” you murmur, nuzzling into him.

He hums, the relief and lack of sleep hitting him all at once. He’s just as unwilling to let you go as you’re unwilling to let him go, so he picks you up by the thighs and takes you to get the sleep you both missed out on last night.

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valleyofheartz · 19 days

Text

Beginning of the End

pairing: Suna Rintarou x F!Reader

angst to fluff

WC: 3.1k

synopsis: when Suna begins to spend more time with his close friends, including his new sickeningly sweet manager, you start to wonder if you’re not as important to him as you thought.

content/warnings: neglect, mentions of beating up (no one gets beat up), jealousy, insecurity, no use of y/n, lmk if i missed anything!

you make your way towards the gymnasium with a giddy smile as you hum the lyrics to Apple Cider. it’s a boring Thursday afternoon, and while you had the option of going home immediately, you figured you’d stop by Rintarou’s volleyball practice. after all, you’d baked some brownies and thought it would be a fun surprise for the boys.

you peek your head through the door to ensure no volleyballs are going to attack you, before slipping in and running towards the benches. you notice Suna spot you with his intense stare, and you give him a smile paired with a wave in response. he waves back before focusing on the rest of his practice.

you manage to get some work done throughout the hour, not disturbing the team as you know how serious the sport is to them. by the time you’ve finished your homework, they’ve begun to pack up and head to the locker room.

Atsumu, however, wipes his sweat with a towel before walking towards you.

“Hey, [Name], how are ya doin'?” he asks you with a crooked grin.

you finish zipping up your backpack before looking up, “I’m doing okay! Just waiting for Rin.”

he nods understandingly as the rest of the boys walk out, dressed in fresh clothes and looking much less… stinky. Rintarou eyes you and Atsumu as he lazily stalks over, draping an arm over you and pulling you close.

he bends down and kisses your temple, “Hey, baby. What’re you doing here?”

you pause, looking up at him unsure as you are aware of the presence of his team members. “I was waiting for you. I was thinking we could go back home together and watch a movie?”

he lifts his arm to rub the back of his neck. “Sorry, today the team is going out for dinner. Maybe tomorrow?”

you ignore the pinch in your heart at the lack of an invitation, but you justify it as it is a team dinner. and make no mistake, no matter how close you were, you were not part of his team.

“Oh, okay.” you murmur with an awkward smile. you look towards Osamu who stands off to the side, “Hey, ‘Samu, I made my brownies again since you all loved them so much. Here.”

you reach out to give them to him as he rips open the lid and stares at it with heart-eyes. he looks back to you, “Thank ya so much [Name], ya sure ya don’t wanna dump Sunarin for me? I could eat these for the rest of ma life.”

Suna immediately wraps an arm around your waist, tugging you into his chest as he glowers at Osamu. you giggle as Osamu merely raises his hands in mock surrender. the rest of the team digs in, including Atsumu who you notice still hasn’t changed. but that was none of your business.

what was your business, was the pouty messy haired boy in front of you who looked like a sad puppy.

“Hey. Where’s mine?”

you smile fondly, before unzipping your backpack and pulling out a neatly wrapped bag of brownies. they were decorated with caramel drizzle and mini sprinkle hearts.

Suna lights up at the sight, gently grabbing it from your hand and kissing the side of your face. “Thanks.” he whispers, causing you to shiver at the low tone.

“Should you all be eating brownies when nationals is just around the corner? I thought you’d be more strict about this, Kita-san.” a gentle voice comes from behind. you look over and find their manager, Akira, as she frowns at the team.

Kita looks thoroughly scolded as he stares at the brownie in his hand, his cheeks puffed out as he stops chewing.

your brows furrow as you notice everyone stop eating. you force a smile, “I thought it would be fine since it’s been months since I gave it to them.”

Atsumu nods as he finishes chewing, licking his fingers once he’s done. “Yeah, don’t worry about it Akira, yer new so ya don’t know this, but [Name] always bakes for us. It doesn’t hurt to have somethin’ sweet once in a while.”

she sighs, a dimpled smile coming onto her face, “I suppose you’re right, Atsumu. Well, when are we leaving?”

your face drops at the we. who is we, you begin to wonder. the team? her? everyone here but you? you clench your fist as you inhale quietly. you turn to Suna with a smile.

“I’m gonna head home before it gets darker, have fun at your dinner.” you kiss his cheek before placing your bag over your shoulder and leaving, uncaring of the fact that your exit was not the nicest.

perhaps this was the beginning of the end of your and Suna’s relationship. looking back, you should’ve noticed something was wrong. but what were you to do, other than ride the catastrophic wave as a rookie surfer.

✾

things began to go downhill from there. slowly, but surely, you were losing Rintarou. it went from team dinners, to team hangouts, to spending lunch breaks with the team. it was the team, team, team, and team. and a quick glance at Atsumu’s Instagram let you know that Akira was included in every team plan.

that didn’t mean you didn’t try. because if there’s anything you ever did, it was try your best.

“Hey, Rin! Let’s get dinner on Saturday?”

he looks at you with a guilty smile, kissing your lips gently. you part, dazed, but he lets you down with his next words. “Sorry, team dinner again. Maybe next week?”

“Rinnie, was thinking of seeing the new Barbie movie with you. Wanna go on Friday?” you ask with hopeful eyes. the Barbie movie was gaining so much popularity lately, it was hard to go about your days without seeing spoilers.

he pauses, before running a hand through his messy dark hair, “Sorry, babe. The team already asked me to go with them. I can rewatch it with you some other time though?”

“No need,” you shake your head with a wry smile.

“Have fun, Rin.”

you end up going to the theatres alone and shoving popcorn in your mouth every time the couples next to you giggle.

the last straw was when he flaked on your usual Thursday lunch break meetup. the two of you would sit on the rooftop together and enjoy picking at each others food. it would often end in you being cuddled into his chest, enjoying the soft kisses down your neck.

the past few weeks, he hadn’t been present at all. he was physically there, but his mind was somewhere else. he’d be on his phone texting the team group chat you were obviously not in, and it was getting ridiculous. so when he fails to show up this week, you begin to wonder how much more of this you’ll put up with.

he doesn’t text you back for the rest of the day, and while you wish you could say you were angry, you were more so disappointed. was expecting him to prioritize you asking for too much? was it unreasonable to want to be chosen first? was love meant to hurt this much?

you make your way to the gymnasium once again after class. your face that once held a happy smile is replaced with a blank look, as you are unable to force yourself to look something you do not feel.

you walk in without a care of the volleyballs being thrown across the room, but you stop when you spot Akira, dimpled brown-haired Akira, who is in your Rintarou’s sweater. the sleeves fall below her hands, and the sweater paws look horrifically adorable. she smiles as she talks with the team, handing their water bottles to them. you wonder if you are imagining the glint in her eyes as she hands Rintarou his, their fingers brushing lightly as she gives it to him.

“[Name]!” a loud voice calls. it snaps you out of your daze, but you wish it hadn’t. tears begin to build in your eyes, so you turn around and walk out. you quickly wipe them away, thankful that your eyes don’t get red easily as you continue walking.

but then you hear footsteps. someone’s running towards you. you know it’s Rintarou, but you can’t face him right now. you speed up your steps, but he catches up with you in no time and softly grabs your wrist, pulling you into his chest.

you rip your arm out harshly, frowning up at him.

he exhales, out of breath from practice and running. “Baby, what’s wrong? Why did you leave?”

he pauses, “Why do you look so upset?”

he moves closer to grab your face in his hands, but you take a step back, needing the space.

“Why… Why was she in your sweater, Rintarou?”

he frowns, eyes looking around as his mind scrambles to understand you. “Who? You mean Akira? She wasn’t feeling well during lunch so I gave her my sweater.”

your heart drops. so while you were waiting for him alone at the rooftop he was with her? your face twists; you aren’t sure what kind of expression you’re showing, but it must annoy Suna, as he scoffs quietly, sliding a hand over his face.

“You’re not upset over that, are you? Because I don’t remember you being so possessive like that.”

you bark out a sarcastic laugh, looking at him as you tilt your head, “Possessive? More like I’m fucking normal, Rintarou. With the way you’ve been neglecting me lately, this is just the cherry on top.”

you shake your head, ignoring his concerned eyes. “Go back to practice, Suna. I’m going home.”

you turn around, fully expecting to be pulled back, but nothing happens. you continue to walk, letting out a shaky exhale as you place your headphones on. tears slip out of your eyes as your vision begins to blur. you blink harshly, wondering why every situation seemed to leave you utterly alone.

✾

“She said something about Akira being in my sweater.” Suna dries his hair messily with the towel in his hands before leaving it draped on his neck.

Osamu shrugs, “Well, that’s a valid reason to be uncomfortable in my opinion.”

Aran nods in agreement beside him. “Yeah, you considered that maybe you pushed a boundary of hers?”

Suna frowns, trying to ignore the flashes in his head of your heartbroken face. his chest aches. he hates not being on good terms with you.

Atsumu comes out from the showers, stretching his arms as he yawns.

“How was yer lunch with her today? Did she seem upset earlier?”

Suna pauses at Atsumu’s words.

Lunch?

Today was…Thursday.

he stands, scrambling as he rummages through his bag for his phone. he quickly opens your contact and looks at your texts. he sighs with a heavy heart at what he sees. why didn’t he get your texts?

he checks to the settings, finding that he had your contact muted. he knows he could have never done that, so he traces his memory back to whoever had his phone. the only time he left his phone alone today was when he was with Akira in the nurses room.

putting the pieces together, he shuts off his phone and tosses it back into his bag.

“Fuck.”

Suna looks for you on Friday, but you manage to slip away every time he got close. he sat in your usual seat in class, only for you to sit up at the front close to the door. when class was over, you quickly packed your bags and was out before he could blink.

when he looked for you at lunch, he found you surrounded by your friends. you must’ve told them something, because the moment they saw him they glared before huddling closer to you as if to protect you. he rolls his eyes at the thought but is happy you have such caring friends.

he waits by your locker after school, crossing his arms and leaning on the cool metal. he has practice, but he has priorities. and perhaps he neglected you for the past three weeks, but he knows he can fix this. he can be better.

but when you don’t show up, he wonders what the point of being better is if you’re not there.

his eyes trace the lines in the concrete as he walks towards the gym. the rest of practice he’s off his game, with sloppy spikes and weak serves. sure, he gets told off by Kita but it’s not as bad as the pain of potentially losing you.

Akira walks up to him after practice. she taps his shoulder. “Hey, Suna. I was wondering if you wanted to visit the Illusion Cafe with me this weekend? I know you love sweets and I heard lots of good things!” she smiles sweetly, but all Suna can focus on is the sweater she is wearing. it’s his.

more importantly, it’s yours.

he frowns, “No. I’m gonna spend that time with my girlfriend.”

Akira’s expression drops into a slight scowl. his eyebrow twitches at the mere sight. why would she be angry that he’s spending time with his girlfriend?

“Oh…Okay. Let me know if you change your mind.” she says with a tight lipped smile.

he looks back at the sweater before glancing at her face. “I won’t. Also, I’d like my sweater back sometime soon, thanks.”

her face reddens at his comment. she nods, embarrassed, before scurrying away.

Suna sighs, walking to the locker room and wondering how he was gonna get you to talk to him.

the team walks out of the gym, with Suna tuning their mindless rambling out. he stretches, finding his eyes seem heavier than usual. he hadn’t slept well last night, unused to you being angry with him that it left him so unsettled he couldn’t sleep.

“Oh, looks like the basketball team is also going home.”

it’s something insignificant. something Suna thought he’d look over at and forget the next second. but then he sees you.

you, with your arm wrapped around another guy’s arm. he’s tall, taller than Suna. muscular too, and his dark blue hair is captivating. Suna stops walking, causing the rest of the team to take a second glance at what he is looking at.

“Holy shit, is that [Name]? What’s she doin’ with those scrubs?” he distantly hears Atsumu say, but all is on his mind is he needs to get you away from that guy now. away from him and into his arms.

you’re laughing, happy for the first time in three weeks until you hear the rushed footsteps that are approaching you.

“[Name], let’s talk.” Suna demands. unfortunately for him, you’re not in the mood to talk anymore.

you unwrap your arm, looking at Suna directly. “No thanks. Maybe next time.” you quote his favourite line he’d used on you countless times recently. it seems he realizes, as his face crumples.

“Who’s this dolt?” the tall blue haired man asks, and Suna’s eyebrow twitches in irritation. who does this guy think he is?

you sigh, “Sorry, Aomine. This is my…boyfriend.”

Aomine’s brows raise. “Ah, my bad. Didn’t mean to get in the way.”

you shake your head, ignoring the other basketball members who surround you. “You’re not in the way, let’s go home, please.”

Suna walks in front of you, stopping you from moving. you exhale, exhausted from the long three weeks and wanting nothing more than to be in your bed.

“You want me to deal with him, [Name]?” Kagami asks from the side, sliding his sleeves up as Suna’s eyes widen.

a new voice comes from behind Suna, “Deal with him? Yer gonna havta deal with us too then.” Atsumu stands in front of Suna, eyes blazing with confidence. even Kita stands off to the side, seemingly ready to physically intervene. you want to laugh at the scene.

you shake your head at the almost comedic situation in front of you, before clapping your hands loudly. “Okay! That’s enough. Volleyball kids, go on your way. Basketball kids, also go on your way. Suna and I will talk as he walks me home.”

Suna’s eyes light up at your words, but you ignore his gaze. he wasn’t forgiven quite yet.

the rest of them begin to make their way out of the school grounds, except for Suna and Aomine. Aomine looks down at you, bending to your height, “You sure you don’t need me to do anything?”

you smile at his overprotectiveness, “No thanks, I got this. Thank you though, really.” he smiles and ruffles your hair, letting out a small ‘oof’ as you hug him tightly.

Suna stands off to the side, silently seething yet knowing he has no place to tell you what to do, especially not now.

Aomine leaves soon after, with a soft wave and a promise to beat Suna up if he tries anything funny. you glance at Suna who looks unsure and out of place.

“Let’s go?” you don’t wait for an answer and begin walking. you hear soft shuffling as he walks beside you and takes small glances that he thinks are discreet.

you arrive at a park near your house. you take a seat on the swings, Suna carefully doing the same. you wait for him to speak, as you’re all out of love and words to give at the moment.

“So… I think- No I know, I need to start this off by saying I’m sorry.” he stands, moving to position himself in front of you. he bends down, crouching to meet your gaze.

“I was very neglectful these last few weeks. I have no excuse, and I know I’ve hurt you.”

he slowly moves to grab your hand; you allow him, as he brings your limp hand to kiss the back. “I want you to know I made it clear to Akira that you’re my number one. You’re the one I always want, no matter what. I can’t even believe my dumbass made you doubt that.”

he shakes your head, looking down before glancing up. you notice tears building in his lash-line, causing you to sit up in alarm.

“I am seriously so fucking sorry for missing our lunch dates, dinners, and for giving her my sweater.”

you grab his face gently, wiping your thumbs beneath his eyes.

“I’ll burn the sweater, I swear.”

you roll your eyes, squishing his cheeks gently.

he grabs your arms, kissing your inner wrists softly as he looks up at you. “Will you give me a second chance? I promise I won’t fumble.”

the sweet moment is broken, then, as you scoff out a laugh. “You’re not going to fumble me, Rintarou.”

he smiles, cat-like eyes with a lazy grin. “Damn right. Gotta treat you like the princess you are.”

you pout, “Not a queen?”

he laughs, a deep raspy sound. he stands up and tilts his head down to kiss your nose.

“Princess, queen, anything. So long as you’re mine.”

EXTRA:

"So, who was that asshole earlier?"

you shove his shoulder gently, "He's not an asshole! He's my friend. Didn't you know I'm friends with the basketball team? I used to be their manager."

Rintarou scoffs, "Yeah, I knew that, just didn't know those guys were so close to my girl."

you look at him with a blank face.

"Right, and I was the one who was possessive. Sure."

he whines softly, low in his throat as he moves his face into your neck, "I said I was sorry!"

a/n: suna brainrot😵‍💫

#haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #suna rintaro x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #suna angst #suna fluff #suna x you #haikyuu angst to fluff #suna rintaro imagine #suna x reader #haikyuu x you

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rizsu · 1 year

Text

euphoria ? suna rintarō.

sum. labeled, but sfw. arguments, suna cries, angst -> comfort.

rintarō isn't one to let his anger dominate him; rather, he tries his best to keep his emotions at bay. however, there's only so much someone can take before exploding. high octaves of a once calm voice bounces off the walls, it takes both by shock. rintarō stops, his eyes bulging when he realizes what happened.

fuck, he thinks. he didn't mean to. swallowing the burning sensation of guilt, he steps forward. countless apologies flow from his lips, clammy hands trying to reach you in attempts of a hug. you're still shocked. numb to your feet, your mind replays the scene. it hurts. it really hurts. you didn't mean for it to turn out like this.

from a simple worry to nagging to spitting out meaningless words of anger. it never meant to escalate like that; nothing was supposed to turn the way it did. hurt, anger, jealousy, and sadness. he knew your words came from concern, but he was already irritated—annoyed in a way that he just wanted to be locked in a quiet room. both parties letting their words go before logic; nothing was meant to turn this way.

“i think...i think i'll go upstairs. please don't come.” y/n mumbled, pain evident in her voice. as your figure ascends into the upper floor, rintarō slouches back into the couch. a heavy sigh fills the room; regret and guilt seeps into his pores, eating him alive.

i'm a fucking ass, he thinks again.

rintarō laughs. he drags his palms over his face, stopping at his eyes before he laughs again. it's funny, really. did he really have to lash out like that? rintarō promised he'll never hurt you. he'd never ever hurt you, but can that promise still hold meaning even after this? physically, he didn't. mentally and internally? the tremble of your voice said more than enough.

the more his mind repeats what happened like a broken record, the more tears well up in his eyes. they threaten him. they laugh at him. the salty liquid mocks him—it's almost as if it's saying, “ha! you're an idiot!”

he swallows hard, trying so hard not to let his voice be heard. he doesn't want to cry but fuck, it hurts so much. when the dam swells until it bursts, floods occur. and so he let it go. the tears race down the sides of his face. he covers his mouth with one hand, biting hard in attempts not to make a sound.

it's been a few hours. each in their own space, trying to soften the pain that invited itself. no one tried speaking to another—the fight lingers fresh in both minds. rintarō's on the edge; he's itching to be in your presence. to hold you. to kiss you.

five minutes turn into ten, which turned into twenty, and he's still there. still behind the door that separates him from you, hesitating to turn the knob. his hand shakes—he's nervous..? anxious? afraid you'd ask him to leave you alone? hell, he doesn't know.

rintarō didn't know he was in his head until the door opened on your side. he gapes at you, eyes searching for something.

“rin—” you start but he continued, “i'm sorry.”

he notes the confusion riddled on your face but he continues on.

“i'm sorry, love.” he says, hands holding yours as he looks down biting his lips. he's ashamed to face you.

“rintarō,” you tighten your grip on his hand, “let's sit down.” you instruct and he obeys, chewing on his bottom lip as a distraction.

rintarō's eyes linger on you. he observes your face, your behaviour, your tired eyes that show clear evidence of countless hours of crying. his heart hurts. he never thought he'd be the reason you're crying tears of sadness. never did he ever want to make you cry like that.

“you've been crying.”

“yeah, you too huh? i'm sorry, rin.”

at your apology he freezes. you're sorry? why are you apologizing? he's the one who lost control so why the fuck are you apologizing?

rintarō laughs again. he's been acting like a real fool hasn't he? having a wife who apologises for her husband's inconsiderate actions.

“don't. don't do that. don't apologise.”

“but—”

“please,” he begged. pushing you both down onto the bed, rintarō holds you above him. one arm wrapped tightly around your waist while the other rubs your shoulder, he continues his speech, “i didn't mean to—i didn't mean to yell like that. i don't know what i'd do if you left.”

you play with the hem of his shirt waiting for him to finish.

he let out a ragged breath before continuing, “i don't like it when you're hurt. this is gonna sound corny but i hate it when you cry too.”

you wait again but he doesn't continue like before. confused you look up at him only to furrow your eyebrows while your eyes wash over with concern. is he trying to not cry? you think.

yeah, he's crying again. small droplets trickle down his face once more as he sucks in his cheeks trying to not make a sound.

“rin.” he doesn't answer.

“suna rin.” he hums quietly but it's not the answer you want.

“suna rintarō.” there, he answers.

your heart shreds. hearing his voice like this was as rare as a red moon; you hate it. you hate how he never allows himself to cry. he's human isn't he? so why's he acting as though he's a machine.

you sit up on his lower half, cupping his face forcing him to look at you.

“we both did our wrongs so why are you behaving like you committed a first degree crime?” you ask though you aren't looking for an answer.

he stays quiet. eyes lost deep in yours as he waits for your words again.

“yes it did hurt, but that doesn't mean i'll throw away your love doesn't it? i know better than to divorce you for this argument, rin. we've been together for years.”

your fingers start to caress his cheek—some even tracing his face's outline. rintarō's hands find refuge on your waist, he holds and plays with your skin.

“i love you, rin. i'll tell you over and over until you know it.”

“i know.”

“then act like you know, boy.”

he laughs for the fifth time today, but it's no longer a laugh of disbelief, no. it's a laugh of joy. it's a breathy laugh that makes his eyes crinkle.

he sits up, pulling you into a hug as he lowers his head into the junction of your neck and shoulders. a smile finally dawns both faces.

after long hours anger says goodbye as love enters the house. what a day, you both think.

#+ rizsu: haikyuu.#haikyuu x reader #suna x reader #suna rintarou x reader #haikyuu angst #suna rintaro angst #haikyuu fluff

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svnarin · 3 months

Note

- so like maybe like a fic/drabble/whatever with suna when reader and him get in a fight and reader leaves to like cool down or sum- and reader gets hurt bad :3

idk man it’s cringy and wattpad coded but I like that shit 😞 feel free to decline! ((If rq is 2 weird maybe do a vulnerable moments with him))

Ty for reading ! (I dunno how to reqs I’m sorry💀)

୨୧⋆ ˚ — selfish

warnings!! angst, suna being a selfish asshole, open-ended 'cause it still ended in an unresolved argument, not proofread 😞

note! HI ANON!! this is actually my very first time taking such a request. tbh with you, i've never done that much angst and this is actually the heaviest angst i've done by far, but i hope this can satisfy your wants 😭🙏

FEEDBACKS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!

“where are you? i can’t find you in the stadium.”

you don’t want to reply to his message. heck, you don’t even want to open the notification at all.

it’s been three hours since the match ended and it’s been an hour since you left the stadium, and he just realized that you left just now? ridiculous.

you stared blankly at the notification until he sent you another one just three minutes later.

“y/n where are you?” suna sent you another one. “why aren’t you reading my messages?”

you were literally about to space out from staring blankly at his messages when your phone suddenly vibrated. he’s calling you, snapping you back into reality.

you sighed before declining his call.

“at home,” you replied to his message. “i went home early then i dozed off, sorry,” you added.

he immediately replied with, “ok ig i’ll go home now.”

you’re aware that his reply was dry, but like, that’s all? some ok ig is all he can reply? but at this point, you couldn’t even care less anymore.

around 45 minutes later, you were lounging on the sofa when you suddenly heard the entrance to your and suna’s shared penthouse open. you already know it’s suna. he’s the only other one who knows the passcode to the penthouse after all.

“why did you leave so early? did you even finish watching the whole match at all?” that’s the first thing he told you when he went to the lounging area. so is that really how he’ll greet you? it made you laugh dryly.

“not even a hello?”

“i asked you first.” he’s clearly pissed off.

“why are you mad?” you stood up from the sofa, walking towards him. “i was there and i watched your whole match. i know you lost the match, but you don’t have to put your anger on me.”

“so why did you leave after the match was over?”

“what do you mean? i literally stayed there for two more hours before i left.” it’s true. you stayed for two more hours and waited for him. and for the whole two hours, you wanted to go and still congratulate him for his performance, but you couldn’t. why? because he got swarmed by his fans, begging to take pictures with him and getting his autograph.

you tried squeezing yourself in. you loudly called for his name through the crowd, but all you saw was him taking a glance at you before returning his focus to taking pictures and signing autographs.

“you literally looked at me when i called your name after the match, you just didn’t bother walking towards me.”

“wait, yeah, i did see you earlier. sorry.” suna doesn’t sound sorry at all. “still, you could’ve waited for me.”

“rin, i tried waiting for you. i tried calling for your attention because i still wanted to congratulate you even if you lost, you just didn’t bother because you were too busy taking pictures and signing autographs.”

“me just only taking glances at you and not walking towards you as i was clearly,” he emphasized. “taking pictures and signing autographs is already an act of not bothering?”

“so their attention matters more than mine?”

“i did not say that, y/n. don’t make things complicated.” you can feel the tone of his voice getting sharper and sharper.

“then why are you making it sound like their attention matters more than mine? you don’t have to take pictures with everyone. you don’t have to sign every autograph they request. you always do this but you literally don’t have to do everything they want. they’re just your fans, they come and go.”

“wait, are you fucking jealous over the attention i gave them? when we literally live under the same roof?” suna laughed dryly, his words making your blood boil.

“of course i’m jealous!” you snapped, shouting at him. “we live under the same roof but you’re out almost 24/7!”

“don’t you get it?! i’m a volleyball player, so what do you expect?!” suna snapped back. “are you even aware that you’re being selfish right now?”

“wait, selfish? me?” you scoffed. “can you hear yourself right now, suna?” you pointed at your ear. “so i’m the selfish one when all i did was sacrifice everything just so that i could choose you?” you pointed to his chest. “when i literally left my family, closest friends, and career on a different prefecture just so that i could live with you here in tokyo to support you on your own career? when i literally had to skip work multiple times just so that i could attend all your matches? when all i wanted in return was the unconditional love that you promised me when we were in high school?”

the suna that you’re facing right now isn’t the suna that you knew back in high school. he changed. he changed after being a part of the volleyball national team. but despite the change, you stayed.

choosing him over everything caused you some damage. you waited and are still waiting until those damages healed. you know it hurts, waiting for the damage to heal for so long, but you also think that if you manage to get it healed, you can consider it as good damage. so, if you will leave him midway through healing, then all the damage will be just damage. but now you know better than this. you need to stop choosing him, you need to choose you.

all the things that you’ve been wanting to tell him just spilled as if a dam burst broken. you can feel tears now streaming down your face. “so suna, let me ask you again, am i the one who’s being selfish?”

that was the last thing you told him before picking up your purse and then walking towards the penthouse to leave.

suna just stood on his spot, silent the whole time. realization immediately kicked in when he heard the entrance to the penthouse shut close. he couldn’t move even though he wanted to. he wanted to chase after you, kneel after you, and beg for your forgiveness but he couldn’t move. he knows he fucked up big time. he knows he’s been fucking up for years.

𝐒𝐕𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 | repost, modification, and translation of my works on any platforms are strictly prohibited.

#⋆.˚ 𝐒𝐕𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍 : 𝐇𝐐 #suna x reader #suna rintarou x reader #suna angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyu angst #hq angst #suna rintaro x reader

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emmyrosee · 1 month

Note

Suna is famous for having pictures, digital mementos of everything.

The day you broke up was hard for him but the day his phone died and he lost the recording of your last happy voice message?

Literal hell.

And he knows the employee went over the potential risk of hard restarting his phone to change the battery, but he just shrugged and signed the waver anyways.

But when the employee comes back with a sorry look, he knows everything is gone. every message, every picture, every text and every trace of you is released into the void of nothingness that is in the apple stratosphere.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS GONE?"

The employee winces, "sir, the icloud mustve been filled and unable to recover all your information."

"BUT ALL OF IT?! YOU COULDN'T SAVE ANY OF IT?"

"I'm sorry, sir," they say, swallowing thickly from the force of Rintaro's yelling.

If you were here, you'd tell him it's okay. That it's a new time to create more memories. And you'd cheekily tell him that the twins will provide more embarrassment for his camera roll, and Kita's well wishes will keep coming, and Aran will continue to send him his schedule regardless.

You'd tell him that now, you can fill his camera with more pictures of you. More text messages. More phonecalls.

But you're not here.

And his heartrate spikes and he cards an anxious hand through his hair and braces himself on the counter, trying to hide his tears of anger and hopelessness and defeat from the now swarming crowd.

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selarina · 9 months

Text

Ghosts in Love

-> Suna Rintaro x Reader

Chapter 1: In the Meat and Dairy Isle

Summary: Amidst shared streets and familiar alleys, chance encounters with your ex at grocery stores or parks evolve into shopping together and sharing park benches.

Loosely inspired by the poem "Ghosts in Love" by Carl Sandburg

Chapter Warning: exes, domestic angst lmao

Words: 1k words

Taglist: Open

Read on AO3 | Series Masterlist

You and Suna Rintaro have purchased tickets for a concert that is almost a year away.

Neither of you have canceled the booking for those tickets. Neither of you have tried to sell it off. It just lies there in the pile of your dusty emails. No attempt is made to delete it. You just let it make a home there, catching dust until you decide to reopen and read it again. And again.

It’s been 7 months since the two of you have broken up and you're wondering if you really need to get rid of them. You only mean, things have significantly mellowed down to a point where you go grocery shopping together, in a manner of speaking.

You still live in the same neighbourhood as him, so days of running into him at the grocery store, the park, or the laundromat have turned into days of shopping together, sharing a park bench, or using the same washing machine if there’s room. Cheaper that way, the two of you reason out.

So you've decided to bring it up at your next weekly run-in.

Except, you don’t see him all week. Or the week after that.

It’s odd but you don’t ruminate, you don’t have the time to. It’s the end of the month and you have deadlines that keep swamping up all over your calendar. And you also have a company ball to prepare for.

"Hey," he says, bopping your cold nose. You think that must have been instinct, because he brings his hand back down almost immediately at the touch. Like it stung to you, or that he's simply repulsed.

But you see him again, on a gloomy day. It’s raining on and off and everything is sticky. You’re sweating but you’re also cold as you stand opposite him in the meat and dairy aisle of the grocery store. His hair has grown a little, and it cascades across his face like a flood of dark water.

Your gaze is now drawn to the yogurt section as you look for the brand you usually use. A soft pink package. He lingers behind you through this, and you’re conscious of his movements. You wonder if he can see right through you, but it's a thought that only lasts for a split moment. He never really did understand you that well, you think.

"Haven't seen you in a while," you remark glibly as you toss a can of milk into your basket.

But it's a lot more intense in your head, and you find that your defences are back up. Why? You aren't sure, but you strongly believe that you will find out today.

“Yeah,” he says. You wait for a moment until you realize he isn’t going to explain himself. He doesn't have to after all.

“How have you been?” you try to change the topic.

“Fine, a bit restless. We haven’t had practices for a while,” he says. You proceed to basket the yogurt, along with some cheese.

You’re both sitting in a park now, just about to part ways before he says, “I went on a date.”

You hum in response.

—

The evening passes by as the two of you slip into the inevitable flow of a conversation.

You’re finally grateful you braced yourself for the inevitable.

You can’t say it doesn’t hurt, but it only hurts like a sting, rather than a typhoon. Right now, you’re too muddled with questions. Questions you don’t have the right to ask.

You don’t say anything.

A beat later, you ask, “Why are you telling me this?”

“I–I really don’t know actually,” he chuckles, and for the very first time, you hate it.

You hate the way his cheeks hollow into soft undefined dimples, you hate the crinkle at the edge of his eyes, and most of all you think you hate him in this moment.

“What?” It comes out before you can stop it, and nurture it into something more mellow — but right now, your anger seeps through your mouth and spits onto his face.

“Okay. Um, I really did need to leave so,” you say, and with a swoop you push yourself up.

This time you move quicker, walking away to leave but he stops you. His hand comes up to clutch your wrist. It's not tight enough for you to not walk away but you stop.

“I’m sorry,” he says and he seems genuine, which makes you hate him even more.

“It’s okay, Rin.” You say, because you could nurture your anger into something different. You’re definitely not okay, but you can pretend you think. For a bit, until you no longer have to pretend.

“Please, ca—just sit with me.” He says, and the wind blows, sending a chill down your back but you sit down anyway because you’ve never truly been good at telling him no. Not when it mattered, at least.

“Thank you,” he mutters.

You don’t speak for the rest of the time. The two of you just sit there, and your anger dies and it dies, and you almost forget about all of it, because this is nice right?

This is comfortable and familiar, and it makes you wish you could turn time back, at least in your head. But it’s abruptly met with a stop, when he speaks again, “It was bad.”

“I figured,” you say.

You hum, urging him to continue. Reluctant but ready.

“The date, I mean," he elaborates.

“I don’t think I’m over you yet,” he says. “It’s killing me just a bit, I think.” He tries to soften the sentence with a chuckle.

“I think that would kill me more,” he says soft as a whisper, you could barely hear it. It almost made you assume it was just the wind playing tricks on you.

“Want me to change neighbourhoods so you can move on then?”

Your words come out sounding a bit condescending but you have a soft edge to your voice, a lilt of humour if you will, like it’s amusing that you would ever do something like this for him. Would you?

“Anyway, it should be you if one of us is moving,” you say.

“Well, I was here first. It’s only fair,” you say, firmly.

“Me? No way,” he says, his pitch rising. “It’s closer to practice, and the home office."

He doesn’t say anything for a bit. You were here first, you were more in tune with this area than he was. Most of his favourite things about this neighbourhood are borrowed, he realizes. They're all yours.

At that, he feels a bit empty, “That’s actually fair.” He adds, “I’d rather neither of us have to move. I’d rather us be friends.”

“Me too, Rin.” You smile at him.

Only you can’t help but think about how it sounds like a distant fantasy, reminiscent of dream-addled childhood dreams where you thought of driving yourself across the country. You reassure yourself because you can drive now at least.

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k4g3hika · 8 months

Text

CONSUME ━ imagine!

suna rintarou x fem!reader

summary: suna rintarou was hard to love, you knew this from the beginning. but when you overhear him admitting how he truly felt about you, it hurt to decide whether to let him go, or let your love for him continuously consume you.

genre: hurt/comfort

wc: 6.2k

tags: this is the longest imagine that i’ve ever written 😭 it was a pain in the ass to write but i hope you guys like it :)

Sometimes, you think it’s hard to love Suna.

Suna is calculating and quiet, the reasons exactly why you find it difficult to continuously pine for him. Though, you already knew he was going to act like this. You’ve gone to school with Suna since elementary, and have even lived in the same neighbourhood since childhood, but you don’t think he knows that.

The thing is, you know Suna, but you don’t think he knows you. Every morning since you were six years old, you’ve seen him make his way to school, but you’ve never had the courage to walk up to him and say ‘hi’. For years, the only parts of Suna that you were able to truly admire were his back and his hair, from behind. The both of you have never been in the same friend group, class, or extra-curricular activity, until your second-year of high school.

You precisely remember the moment you stepped into the gymnasium to introduce yourself as the new manager of the team. It was a rainy day and you were excited, albeit, a little nervous, but irregardless, excited because you know and love volleyball. The sport connected with some of your childhood memories, as you recall playing it with your older brother. Too bad your physical skills weren’t up to par with the school’s expectations, or else you would’ve been on the team. Their loss though, because you found your strategy and knowledge of the sport to be your strongest feature as a player.

As a result of the girl’s team already having a manager, the coach recommended you to try signing up for the role of manager for the boy’s team. Now, you didn’t mind being around boys. Your older brother was enough for you to build up the courage against the challenge that is the hygiene and personality, or well, lack thereof, of boys.

However, the courage built over the years was not enough to stop your surprise at seeing none other than Suna Rintarou, from the front.

He looked completely different from what you remember him looking like. For some reason, you still had the young image of Suna in your head. The Suna you remember had puffy cheeks and neat hair, but this new Suna, was mature, older, and way more handsome. His cheeks thinned out and highlighted a sharp jawline that made his face look so clean-cut, unlike his hair that was messy and all over the place. But, if anything, you think that you prefer this Suna.

Because, God, it made him so much more attractive.

Now, it’s been about three months since you’ve become manager, and in those three months, you’ve tried to show Suna just how much you love him. The years of no talking and never meeting each other were all building up for you, and you just wanted to show him all of the care and affection you’ve held for him over the years.

You’ve cooked bento boxes and given them to him, you’ve filled his water bottle with the expensive electrolytes from the convenience store ten minutes away from the school before every practice, and who couldn’t forget, you make sure that his towel was clean and warm beside his gym bag, so that he wouldn’t use the same one for weeks until it reeked. Your affection was clearly shown through your actions and you prayed to the heavens that he would just notice you. Maybe say a ‘thank you’ or even a little head pat, you really don’t care, just some recognition would make you feel rewarded after all the hard work you’ve done for him.

But, the bento boxes were returned to you either by, Atsumu or Osamu, Suna drank the expensive electrolyte water, however, he seemed to not notice that it was you who put all the thought and care behind the action, and his towel was always just thrown to the side alongside the other towels. Even though the towel you prepped was a personal one from home that had your initials hand sewn in the corner. You thought that at one point he would’ve acknowledged you, but the gratefulness never came.

It didn’t matter though. Because you knew in your heart that you loved Suna Rintarou, and there was nothing that could change that. Even if you did all the sincere actions for him until the both of you graduated and he never noticed you, just knowing that he at least saw the bento box, the water bottle, and your towel, was enough to put a smile on your face. You would show Suna that you love him, ten times over.

“Y/N! Earth to Y/N!” Your head snaps over to your right, seeing the coach look at you with concern. Embarrassed that he caught you in your daily Suna trance, your cheeks heats up and you push yourself to your feet.

“Coach!”

“I thought you would never hear me. Listen, I don’t know what’s taking all your attention away, but can you please head down to the locker room and tell the boys that they need to make their way over here. The drill we spoke about yesterday is a bit complicated, so I would like to get started as soon as possible.” Nodding, you bow and begin to make your way over to the club room.

Your heart begins to speed up a bit, as the thought of seeing Suna shirtless makes your chest burn and your face hot. By all means, you are not a pervert! But just seeing him with all his muscles in the bright fluorescent light of the locker room looked like a cover of a sports magazine.

Suna Rintarou makes you feel so nervous. Unfortunately, you find yourself relishing in the minimal acknowledgement that he gives you, thriving off of the fact that you were in a club that just allowed you to be around him. Maybe it was a sign from the heavens that you weren’t physically athletic, but strategically, which resulted in your application as Boys Volleyball team manager. You’d like to think that despite his ignorance, it was in both of your guys’ destinies to end up with another.

Maybe the both of you were the main characters of a drama, where, despite all the bumps in the plot, you will always find each other being drawn to one another. Yet again, that was all just your stupid imagination, but one can dream, right?

Giggling to yourself, you were about to knock on the locker room door, before you heard loud voices through the small space between the door and the wall. It sounded like they were bickering with one another, and you begin to wonder if it’s Atsumu and Osamu fighting again, while everyone just stood around and observed. Normally, you would be the one to beg them to stop while Kita jumped in after you to pull them apart. But, now that you weren’t inside, you begin to push open the door at the possibility.

“...Y/N?” Your actions falter at the sound of your name.

‘Are they talking about me?’ Before you could do anything, you lean your ear in just to get a snippet of what they were talking about. You know what they say though, curiosity was what killed the cat.

“Come on Sunarin! You have to like Y/N! She’s so cute, and she cooks you all those bento boxes! If that isn’t girlfriend material, then I don’t know what is.” Hearing Atsumu praise you for your efforts made you smile, trying to hide it by covering your mouth with your hand.

“And, let’s not forget how she already likes you. C’mon Rintarou, we’ve seen her personally hand you your water bottle,” The voice you assume to be Ojiro teases, while everyone in the room laughs.

“Oh yeah!! I’ve seen those expensive electrolyte packets in her bag, man, how does it feel to receive such special treatment from Y/N?”

‘So my actions don’t go unnoticed.’ Your smile grows bigger, clutching your clipboard closer to your chest when feeling just how full your heart is with everyone’s recognition.

“Stop it guys.” Suna’s smooth voice finally enters the picture and you try to stop yourself from giggling out loud. “She’s our manager.”

“So?!? Man, that’s even better! You won’t have a girlfriend who doesn’t understand the importance of the sport. If anything, Y/N is more committed than you, maybe you will be the one competing for her attention against the club,” you hear smooching sounds and Atsumu speaks in a voice that tries to mock Suna’s, but did a terrible job.

“Y/N~ don’t forget all about me!! I love you Y/N~!” More kissing sounds can be heard, and everyone in the room laughs one more time.

The joy in your heart would’ve been extended, if it weren’t for the sudden aggravated scoff from Suna, and the slapping of a towel on bare skin. Atsumu yelps and the room suddenly dies down from the initial humorous atmosphere.

“Man, shut up. I don’t like Y/N. She’s alright, I guess.” a locker door slams shut, “But sometimes, she's just so... annoying. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. And you know, after a while, it just comes off as desperate.”

‘Desperate? I’m not desperate.’ You weren’t keen on Suna noticing you. You just liked doing all those things for him, it showed you cared, and that he was at least deserving of some special treatment, because he was a very special person in your life.

“I feel bad for her,” he continues, “spending all that time doing shit for someone that doesn’t even like her. I can’t say anything though, cause she’s our manager and I don’t want the team to feel awkward. I guess I just have to suffer with her smothering me all the damn time.”

At that, you feel your once fluttering heart stop. You feel tears beginning to make their way to fall from your eyes, as your face begins to feel hot, but not in a blushing way. More like in a, you were about to sob out loud and the tears probably wouldn’t stop for a while, way.

You loved Suna. He didn’t have to love you back, the least you were asking for was for him to say ‘thank you’. But it appeared that your affection didn’t appear as a display of your love, but something that bothered him. Annoying him to the point of seeing your actions as suffocating. But that didn’t entirely bother you.

It was the fact that he didn’t even want to tell you to stop. He was going to live like that until high school was over, because you were the team’s manager, and it would be ‘awkward’. You begin to overthink.

What if you kept on going about cooking those bento boxes for him, filling his water up with electrolytes, and bringing a special towel from home, all warm and clean, without knowing what he actually thought of your displays of affection? You would’ve lived thinking that Suna somewhat appreciated it. Possibly having the idiotic thought that he was just shy, and maybe didn’t know how to exactly tell you that he liked you.

You are such a dumbass.

You begin to tremble, the pen that was once held up by your clipboard clattering to the ground and startling you. It brought you back to your situation, seeing the door still somewhat closed in front of you. Out of fear that they were going to see you and realise that you were eavesdropping, you ditch the pen and begin to run back to the gym.

You were going to tell the coach that you were feeling sick. You hope the teary eyes and flushed cheeks will do you justice, and he’ll send you home without any repercussions. But as of right now, nothing matters, all that did was the fact that you were annoying the boy you loved, and that your pillows were waiting to welcome your tears until tomorrow morning.

—

It’s been two days. Have you missed school for the past two days? Absolutely not. Suna wasn’t going to make you miss class, as much as you wanted to, you know that if you were going to skip, the school will inform your parents, and that last thing you want is your parents to get involved.

It’s just been two days since you’ve been to volleyball practice. You haven’t been missing your duties at all though. Yes, you’ve been in contact with the coach and Kita, with them informing you on the notes of the team and each player’s performance. The reason for that being, some coaches from Tokyo were planning to head down to Hyogo for a volleyball camp. The team needs to know what they have to improve on, and unfortunately, though you felt as if you weren’t in the right state of mind, you had to fulfil your duties as a manager.

You’re not over Suna, and to be honest, you don’t think you ever will be. He’s been such a constant force in your life, that a lifetime without his presence captivating your mind felt impossible to even conjure. You love Suna Rintarou, but you guess you would just have to hold it inside until the both of you go your separate ways. Maybe then you’ll get over him, but the possibility seemed unlikely.

You just have to give up expecting the response to your love that you’ve been hoping for your entire life.

Checking the cafeteria and seeing if you had enough food supply for three volleyball teams, their respective coaches, and their managers. It seemed like a chore to do all on your own, and it was. But you committed to being the team manager. Suna wasn’t going to change that whether he liked it or not.

“Y/N, the Tokyo teams will be arriving soon. Coach says you need to head to the front and help him with dorm placement.” Sighing and nodding, you get up from your squatting position from the bottom shelf. Kita notices your negative mood, by being the observant asshole that he is. As you were about to exit out the only doorway, he grabs your forearm, holding you back from actually leaving. His sudden touch surprised you, resulting in you jolting back. “I’ve been meaning to ask, are you okay?”

His concern falters your thoughts and movements. In all the time that you’ve been manager of the volleyball team, Kita has never really shown you that much care for how you felt. It surprised you a bit, seeing how concerned he looked for your wellbeing.

Yet again, he’s Suna’s friend.

“I’m okay, why do you ask?” He didn’t believe you, that was clear. It was so obvious when his facial expression did not change, Kita was still staring intently at you. It almost felt like he was trying to read your mind.

“You dropped your pen, by the way.” Taking it out of his pocket, Kita hands you your familiar piece of stationary, not thinking about it, you grab it from his hand. “I know you were by the locker room when Suna said what he said.”

‘Oh shit.’ You felt your heart come to a stop, yet again.

“W-What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So it’s just a coincidence that after Suna said that about you, I found your pen in front of the locker room door, and you didn’t show up to practise till today? Y/N, I’m not sure if you’ve failed to learn something about me, but I can tell you that I am not an idiot.”

His words caught you off-guard. Kita managed to figure out what was wrong with you, without even knowing who you were. To be honest, it scared you a bit, getting a glimpse of what Kita can truly find out when he concentrated hard enough. You admire that about him.

Taking your silence as you not knowing what to say, Kita lets go of your forearm and sighs.

“Suna didn’t mean what he said. He’s a very thoughtful individual who was pressured into saying those things by the team. You know how they are. Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.” He begins to walk away, but leaves with a final word, “I’m not telling you to change how you feel about the situation. You have a right to feel how you feel. But, don’t take Suna’s words too seriously.” Kita walks away, leaving you alone in the cafeteria.

‘Did he just say not to take the insults Suna threw at you seriously?’ The aggression left behind the negativity a few days ago wants to say, absolutely not. What Kita said is unfair, to you and your feelings. Suna called you annoying and said you were smothering him, how can you jump around that? So far you haven’t had a night where you haven’t thought about how…mean Suna was. You thought that he only would’ve been mean to Atsumu or the others, but not you, never you.

It’s safe to say that your mind felt like it was on the verge of exploding. It was so stressful to choose whether or not you should believe Kita and show Suna your love again, or just ignore him like what you’ve been doing for the past couple of days.

You think that it’s best to just…not think about the problem. It’s a situation for later, for now, the camp and most importantly, the team needs your utmost attention.

‘God, I hate high school.’

—

“Hey Suna, you good?” Suna takes a sip of water from his bottle, noting that it tasted different from usual. Nodding, he wipes his sweat off with a spare shirt from his bag, also becoming aware that the towel that he was given wasn’t the usual soft one that he had from the beginning of the year. This one was coarse and rough, making him pick up the shirt he intended to wear if he got too sweaty.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, does the water taste a bit weird? Like, spoiled or somethin’ cause it doesn’t taste like how it usually does.” Osamu’s eyebrow raises, grabbing the bottle from Suna’s hands despite his protests, and tasting his friend’s drink. To him, it tasted normal, like the normal water that came from the water fountain.

“No…it tastes like how it usually does?”

“Nah, can’t be man. The water I usually have is sweeter and it tastes like fruit juice. This shit tastes weird.” Suna’s face scrunches up, tasting his water again to see if he was just hallucinating the lack of flavour in his water. It’s stupid, how much he’s overthinking the flavour of something that he shouldn’t think that much about. But he hates how regular water tastes like, only really drinking it if he has to.

Observing Suna, it clicks in Osamu’s head what was missing from the water.

In the past, he has noticed you getting out a packet of electrolytes and putting it into Suna’s bottle with a sincere smile on your face. You looked so cute and happy, it puzzled him why you didn’t tell Suna that it was you that was making his water suitable to his tastes. The silent display of affection made him so jealous, he could only wish that he had someone that cared that much.

“What if you ask Y/N? She’s the one who fills up the water bottles anyway, she should know.” Osamu jogs back to the court, practising once more with the team captain. Inquisitively, Suna does remember that you fill up the water bottles. He also remembered how you asked him once at the beginning of the school year what his favourite drink was, and he only shrugged, saying that he likes fruit chuupets, and ever since then, his water tasted like the familiar fruity taste. Wanting to know why his water hasn’t been tasting like it as of late, it prompted him to go on a search for you. Damn warmups, he needs to know why his water doesn’t have the same taste than it usually does.

Looking around the gym, he sees your figure turn into the hallway. Following you, he begins to walk faster in order to catch up to you, thinking about what to say to you in his head, without coming across as mean.

‘Y/N, why does my water taste bad?’ No. ‘Y/N, why doesn’t my water taste like fruit?’ No, he’s going to sound stuck up. ‘Y/N, why does my water taste like everyone else’s?’ Oh God no, that sounds even worse.

‘Y/N, is there something different about my water?’ There you go. That should sound right.

He was ready to confront you, preparing himself to call out your name. But before he could do so,

“Dove!” Suna’s head snaps to the loud voice in front of him, and so does yours, as a tall, lanky, goofy-looking boy makes his way towards you. Much to Suna’s dismay, for some reason, a smile etches itself onto your face as the other man approaches you. “I thought I would never find you.”

“Tetsu, aren’t you supposed to be practising with your team? You shouldn’t be behind here.”

“Well, I just wanted to see my girl. Is there any harm in that, Dove?”

“Tetsu, stop,” you mutter, a bit shy, “I don’t want people from my school to hear you call me that.”

“Aw, you’re still cute as ever. Here, let me help you with that.” Suna sees the guy, ‘Tetsu’, grab the basket of water bottles from your hands. You protest, pouting a bit as Kuroo brings the case above your reach so that you wouldn’t be able to get it back. “I haven’t seen you in awhile Dove, let me be nice, okay?”

Honestly, he personally doesn’t know what overcame him, but out of nowhere Suna coughed loud enough for the pair to hear. He sees you jump a bit, seeing that one of your teammates, catching you in the midst of a conversation while you were supposed to be doing your duties. And it was even worse for you, as not only was it a teammate, but it was Suna. You assume that he probably hates your guts, based on what he said before. Even so, his glare started to make you feel a bit nervous.

“Can I help you?” Kuroo asks Suna as walks up to the both of them.

“I should be asking you that question. Do you need something from my team manager?” Embarrassed, you look down at your feet, trying to avert your eyes from Suna or Kuroo’s.

Kuroo’s eyes squint, looking at the middle-blocker who, to his surprise, matches his height. The both of them begin to have a staring competition, as one or the other refuses to tear away the eye contact. It started to worry you, because it’s almost been two minutes of harsh breathing and aggressive stares.

“O-Okay, I’ll be taking these then.” You grab the crate from Kuroo and begin to make your way to your original location. “Get back to practise guys! Lunch is in thirty!”

“Who are you and why were you talking to Y/N?”

“Woah, woah, buddy, why are you getting protective? Y/N, is a very, very, close friend of mine, so I think that I have a right to approach her right?” Kuroo smirks, stepping closer to Suna as a form of intimidation. “How about you? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

Suna glares at Kuroo, wanting nothing more than to hit him in the jaw. He would, but one, that would take too much of his energy, and two, he’s pretty sure you would hate him if he does. Still, something in Suna just wanted to tell Kuroo that he was your boyfriend just for him to back off.

But he wasn’t. Because he doesn’t like you. He’s sure of that.

“No.” Kuroo laughs, stepping back before turning to make his way back to the gym.

“Well then, that means nothing is stopping me right?” Kuroo walks away, but not before aggressively pushing Suna’s shoulder back with his own. Though, Suna was too concentrated on what the other boy said to even progress the aggression from the other side.

‘What did he mean ‘nothing is stopping him? Is Kuroo going to do something to you? What will Kuroo do that’ll result in Suna blocking him?’

“Sunarin! What are you still doing out here?!” Atsumu shriek could be heard from down the hall, making Suna jump out of his train of thought. He completely forgot that he was even standing here just staring at a wall and thinking of you. That was weird.

He usually never did.

—

The practice game against Inarizaki and Nekoma was…tense.

You could feel the passive aggressiveness coming strangely, from Kuroo and Suna across the net. Everyone else was curious as well, wondering exactly why these two, who’ve never met before, suddenly have a feud similar to that of a world war. At first, you were completely clueless, but then began to wonder if something happened in the hallway after you left.

Maybe Suna said something to tease Kuroo? Or maybe, it was the other way around and now they just want to kill each other.

In the third set at twenty-two points to Inarizaki and twenty-four points to Nekoma, the stakes and the nerves were equally as high. Nekoma has one win and Inarizaki has the other. It seems that this practice game was being played for far more than it actually was, since Kuroo and Suna never acknowledged each other apart from glaring and swearing at each other under their breath. Their respective teams kept asking them if they were okay, both replying with, “yeah, let’s just win.”

“Do you think something happened between Suna and that Nekoma player?” The coach asks you, leaning in and whispering it so that others wouldn’t hear.

“I’m not sure…but they do seem pretty aggressive with one another.”

Then, as you look away for just a moment, a spike comes from Nekoma, but was thankfully received by Kita. Following a set by Atsumu, Osamu jumped to spike it down, but was then blocked by none other than Kuroo himself.

At the brink of time, Ojiro retrieves it back, calling Atsumu to set it once more, this time for Suna to powerfully spike it down, aiding them in their two point loss between them and Nekoma. As Suna jumps up, you see Kuroo and Kenma jump as well.

A feeling of failure begins to settle in your heart.

Suna hits the ball, powerfully, the first time you’ve seen him hit a ball with so much energy.

But the ball immediately lands back down onto the same side, Kita not able to have caught up to it in time. Nekoma cheers out loud, congratulating each other on their hard work.

While Inarizaki lost, they began to support each other for their efforts, but you notice that Suna didn’t look as relieved as the others. His stare is hostile, facing towards the otherside where you see Kuroo looking at him with the same confrontational gaze. You swallow nervously, beginning to make your way towards Suna to pull him back. The Inarizaki boys take notice as well, observing how Suna and Kuroo were both stomping their way to each other. The same feeling of failure seeps into your chest again and you could sense something was going to go terribly wrong–

Suna punched Kuroo in the jaw!

Out of nowhere, a fight begins between the two players, both of them tussling with one another in the middle of the court. Kuroo lands a punch on Suna but is equally stunned when Suna fights back almost immediately after. You notice how Kuroo was pulling at his shirt, trying to bring him closer to land another blow, but fails as Suna strikes him one after the other. Both Nekoma and Inarizaki run up to their players, trying to pull them apart from one another.

The coaches start to shout at their players, ordering them to stop what they were doing at once.

Successfully, they both are torn apart from one another, but still continue to fight the air as they try to continue their brawl.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Your coach asks, trying to instill some discipline into his player. Unfortunately, your heart fails to calm down after witnessing the both of them fight so aggressively. You’ve never seen Suna fight someone, or him be so mad.

Suna looks up, pulling his arms away from his teammates and stares at you.

As the both of you make eye-contact, you refuse to move from your position and remain shaking. Almost as if you gave him an answer to something, Suna walks away, leaving behind everyone in awe.

Just then, you look up at Kita, who nods for you to go.

‘Should I go?’

The memory of him calling you annoying and smothering comes back in your mind.

‘Does he deserve my comfort?’

“Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.”

Putting down the clipboard on the bench, you run outside to try and find Suna. Fall has never been kind to Hyogo, as rain pelts down from the sky, fogging your ability to try and see Suna. You call out his name, but your volume is minute in comparison to the strength of the rain.

Running into the open hallway, you look left and right to try and find the familiar boy. But, no luck. Your heart begins to ache at the realisation that you had no idea where Suna is. You didn’t know what he was doing all by himself in weather like this. Inside, you sincerely hope that he didn’t run out in the street.

‘Oh God, what if he did?’

Out of sheer panic, you run towards the direction of the gate, praying to the heavens that he didn’t do the latter. With rain coming down this hard, you knew that driver’s wouldn’t be able to see as clearly as they usually do. And the thought of Suna running into the street in hopes of getting his comfort jelly chuupets at the convenience store down the road doesn’t make you feel better at all.

You run out the gate, looking towards the direction of the store, failing to catch Suna or any person resembling him standing in the vicinity of it. Trying to get nearer and get a closer look, the sound of a blaring horn fills your ears. Turning to the left, you see a car heading your way, swerving side to side in a skidding motion. The road was so slippery in this type of weather, but why couldn’t you move?

The car was getting closer and your feet felt like they were stuck on the ground.

‘Why can’t I move?’

“Y/N!” Your body jerks back to the side. The car swiftly passes the both of you, getting back onto its regular general direction before driving further down the road. You feel your heart beating profusely, your heaving chest moving up and down in hopes of slowing it. “Are you stupid?! What do you think you’re doing?!?”

Looking up to thank your saviour, Suna’s panicked face greets you causing you to go silent. Both at the same time, you feel relief and stress seeing his face. Mostly relief because you’ve finally found him after all the events that occured today.

“Answer me—“

“Idiot!” Pushing him back, Suna stands there stunned while you clench your fists by your sides. “What—What do you think you’re doing, getting into fights, running out in the rain…are you a child?!? What is going on with you??”

Suna stands there silently.

“And don’t just stand there, I ran out in the road because, because I thought you went to buy your stupid chuupets that you love so much down at the convenience store! You are like a child, wanting fucking food when you’re angry or stressed. You know, I shouldn’t have come out here. In the rain, getting all wet. But you know what Suna, you know what’s pathetic? This, running in shitty weather like this, wouldn’t only be the most drastic thing I do for you.

Suna, for months, I-I’ve been buying expensive ass electrolyte packets, because I know you wouldn’t drink regular water. You only drink water that tastes like fruit juice. That’s from my own money by the way! I also cook you food, that I spend time out of my nights, and sometimes mornings, because you are picky! I know you don’t like cafeteria food, so I just threw my food into the circle, hoping to God that you just might like it! And-And let’s not forget about my towel, my hand sewn, hand washed, machine dried towel. I bring it for you fresh everyday Suna! I know you don’t like the rough school towels, so I brought mine with my initials!

And do I get noticed? No! I never got a ‘thank you’, or even a nod of recognition?! I have Atsumu or Osamu return my bento box in silence, even my towel, thrown into the pile with the rest of the team’s towels, and I get called annoying. I slave myself every day, Suna, just to get your attention. But I don’t think you realise that, I don’t have to do these things. I have never, ever, forced myself to do these things.

I am sorry, if I smother you Suna. I just love you so fucking much that I don’t realise the things I do to care for you, are exhausting.

But now, I’m exhausted. Of not receiving the gratitude I expect for the things I do. I was fine for awhile Suna, but now I’m—“

Then, you feel yourself being pushed onto his chest. One of Suna’s arms wrap around your waist, while the other holds your head down gently, as if silencing you from saying the rest of what you wanted to say. You feel shock course through your veins as the last thing you expected was a hug from the Suna Rintarou.

You and Suna stood under the harsh rain, their heartbeats echoing the drumming of waterdrops around them. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in that intimate moment.

“Don’t get tired Y/N, please don’t get tired of me.” Out of nowhere, you feel yourself begin to cry. Wiping your tears onto Suna’s already wet jersey, he manages to sense your exhaustion, urging him to glide his hand on top of your head continuously. “I am grateful Y/N, that you do all these things for me without me having to ask.”

Suna pulls the both of you apart, cradling your face as he attempts to wipe your tears off. Despite his efforts however, you continue to cry, meanwhile struggling to breathe as you attempt to catch your breath. It feels like despite all the tears you’ve cried in private, seeing Suna recognise you brought a whole different wave of emotions.

“Don’t cry, I don’t want to see you crying because of me.” At that moment, Suna ponders for a bit as you see him look at you. You feel yourself freeze as he leans down to plant two kisses on both of your cheeks, an effort to dry your tears. Putting his forehead on yours, his thumbs continuously brush your jawline, as if he was admiring you. “It’s difficult for me to say Y/N, but I love you.”

Your eyes widen.

“I’ve loved you since elementary when you pushed that little boy off the swing after he pushed me off. I’ve loved you since middle school when you would sneakily put chuupets on my desk, even if you thought I didn’t know. You’re beautiful Y/N. And, I’m sorry for not thanking you earlier for everything you’ve done for me. I’m not brave like you, I can’t show the people I love that I care for them.”

“B-But the bento…”

“Of course I ate it. It hurts me to think that I didn’t, I just always asked Atsumu or Osamu to bring it back. You make me nervous Y/N. I can’t confidently walk up to you when you get prettier every time my eyes turn to you.

You make me weak, Y/N.” You huff, sniffling as Suna lands another kiss on the tip of your nose. He smiles and brings you in for another hug, but this time, your arms wrap around him tightly.

It is difficult to love Suna Rintarou.

It was a path fraught with uncertainties and moments of doubt. But as you stood there, holding the rain-soaked figure before you, you knew that the journey was worth it. Because in the depths of his guarded heart, you had found a love that was as powerful as it was fragile, as beautiful as it was challenging. And you were determined to weather the storm, to be the unwavering presence that helped him navigate the complexities of love and vulnerability.

#haikyuu #haikyuu anime #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu angst #haikyuu hurt/comfort #suna rintarou #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro fic #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintarou angst #suna rintarou fluff #suna rintarou hurt/comfort #suna rintarō #suna rintaro imagine #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro scenarios

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sukirichi · 2 years

Text

[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 006 ]

“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”

c/w. modern royal au. infidelity. slight angst. gaslighting. toxic characters. suggestive. toxic relationships. suna is physically aggressive in one scene. mentions of neglect and abuse.

notes. omg i never expected i’d actually update this someday but thank you to everyone who’d been so nice and supportive! ily chloe for always hyping me up and ily sunflower anon for bullying me (affectionately) into updating <33

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[ SIX ] you held my heart in your fingertips, so now i drown in my bitterness

The bullet whizzing past the open gardens stunned you into temporary deafness. Smoke coated the barrel as its heat slowly seeped into your hands, yet it could not compare to the burning rage emanating within the Sixth Prince as you gaped back at him. You, too, were in disbelief over what you had just done.

You did not mean it. You did not mean to do that as you took a step back, the weapon snatched out of your hands when you faced your husband.

Fury glistened in those brown orbs. Sweat formed at the edge of his forehead, and you felt damp under the cool morning air until the Prince was unloading the gun. Opening your mouth to speak, you prepared yourself to repent for what you had done—because no, not even a miniscule of satisfaction could be tasted on your tongue at Princess Iris’ lithe body shell-shocked with fear. Not a tinge of victory to be celebrated when your husband had grabbed you by the wrist and away from the scene.

“Your Highness,” you called out in a trembling voice, focused on the firmness of his back faced to you. Here, you could barely see a thing when his broad body obscured your vision, but you were no fool. You knew you were about to be kicked out from your own home.

“Please, you are hurting me!”

The Prince ignored your cries as he pulled the car door open, sharp eyes narrowed at you before he shoved you inside. Not a moment later, he appeared by your side and revved the engine, feet slamming down on the gas before you could utter a word. You doubted he would listen anyway when he sped out from your manor and into the open fields, driving past through the line of trees and narrow roads with ease, his knuckles turning white to the bone from his iron grip.

“Your Highness, slow down! We might crash!”

Your pleads were met by deaf ears. Prince Suna did not slow down the least bit. If anything, the sound of your voice encouraged him to drive faster, the tick of his jaw one of the last things you saw before your vision blurred.

The scenery of the fields was incomprehensible. Your ears still rang from your previous act of hunting that damned bird behind Princess Iris. Your breathing laboured, knees turning weak the faster he drives until the splash of blue skies felt nauseating. Bile slowly rose bitterly from your throat as you clutched at your seatbelt for dear life. He wouldn’t budge even as your other arm clutched at his in an attempt to get him to slow down, but it was too late. It would have been too late.

You were nearing the edge of the cliff, and at this speed, none of you would survi—

“Your Highness!”

Prince Suna hit the brakes.

Chest heaving up and down, your husband turned to you with an incredulous look painted on his handsome features, minus its usual softness that he reserved when you were behind closed doors. Today, the Prince was all rough and aggressive from when he disappeared and into your side, yanking you out by the wrist despite your whines. You fell on your knees then, palms now littered with scratches as it bled against the rough pavement. But did the Prince notice? Did your husband care that his wife panted below him, trembling the longer she stared at her new wounds?

What would Her Majesty say? It was unspoken of that royals bear any scars. Flaws were rare as they were taboo, and if you were scarred, then that made your value of a Princess less.

Your own husband was giving you more reasons to not be by his side.

“Get up.”

Your head snapped up at the sound of his voice. His command was cold as ice, yet his eyes said otherwise. You did not know this man. The Crown Prince would never stare at you like you were the vilest thing he had ever laid his eyes on, his muscular arm flexing when he brushed his hair with his hand and fumes.

“My Prince, what are you—”

“How fucking dare you,” he spat out with a ridiculed scoff, “How dare you threaten the life of Her Highness like that. Is your head so empty after being fucked dumb that you forgot she is married to the Second Prince, and the only Princess that prevents Itachiyama from meddling with our country? You could have easily ruined five years of their alliance with that stupid act of yours!”

Your head reeled back from his stinging insults.

“I-I did not mean it, Your Highness.”

“You didn’t mean it,” he repeated mockingly, “Oh, so you just happen to be loading your weapon and pointing it at your sister, is that right?”

You scoffed.

“The Princess is not my sister.”

“She’s the wife of your husband’s brother. Whether you like it or not, we are all family now, and family treats each other with respect. More so that we are royals! Yet you...” the Prince grimaced at a loss for words, teeth clenching as his finger angrily poked at his head. “You could not piece that together, could you? It is because you don’t think. You are a fucking halfwit for not being careful with your—”

Tears clouded your vision. You no longer cared about being elegant and presenting yourself as a royal at all times when your voice rose in octaves, the words leaving your mouth as shaky as the tremors in your heart.

“You are treating me too rudely, Your Highness! You act as if I had committed a grave sin!”

“Because you have!”

“But I did not harm anybody, so you have no right to punish me for something I did not do—”

“You almost killed my girlfriend!” your husband seethed, “You, with your dirty little fingers and pride, trampling around like you own the place, pointed a hunting rifle to my girlfriend! Had I not stopped you earlier, I would have lost her. I would have lost the woman I loved, and I do not think I could ever forgive you or myself should that ever happen. Or rather, I would never allow you to set even a foot near me for as long as I live,” and to add salt to the wounds, he shook his head and looked away from you. “You repulse me.”

You clenched your jaw, nails digging into your palm as you willed yourself to calm down.

How you were able to speak calmly would be far and beyond you.

You somehow managed a laugh, no matter how dry it sounded, and wiped the shameful tears you shed. How embarrassing that you foolishly believed any of his promises had been real. You had really thought you were loved, but now that your own husband stood before you and could barely look you in the eye, what did that truly make you? The villain? The mistress? The halfwit, as he called you?

“She...is your girlfriend?”

The Prince threw his hands up in the air at the sight of your tears. “Oh, how mature, Princess. You’re a grown woman crying like a child. Go and let the waterworks flow if that is all you can do.”

“Do you have any idea how heartless you sound right now?”

“You have the audacity to tell me that when someone was nearly in danger because of you?”

“And you have the audacity to be angry at me because I could have hurt your mistress?”

Prince Suna sucked in a sharp breath. He stalked you until you were cornered between him and the car, left trapped and holding your breath even though he was not touching you. Funny, you found it, that even at a time like this you craved for his touch. They had always been soothing. Always tender and comforting you when you were at your lowest, but that time seemed like a lifetime ago already. Because the husband you married was not real—the husband you believed would have loved you as he should and would never glare at you like this as he warned in barely above a whisper, “Don’t call her that. Her Highness is not a mistress.”

“Oh, but she is. She is a woman married to your brother, and yet she is in a relationship with the Crown Prince, who might I remind you, asked for my hand in marriage!” to prove your point, you flashed him the bodacious ring sitting atop your finger.

The Prince merely spared a glance.

“Indeed. It is a decision I am severely regretting as of this moment,” he declared, and the bitter regret coating his tongue was more than enough to let you fall limp against the car. The Prince, ever scheming and malice as he truly was, took the opportunity of your defeated state to straighten his collar down before straightening his back. “Let me clarify it to you, Your Highness. I never loved you. I never wanted you. It is Princess Iris whom I want, and it is with her where my heart will always be. The only reason you and I stand together here now is because I love her so much I was willing to do anything to make her mine. And you were simply there when I needed a wife most. It was you who made my plans within arm’s reach. So should you ever feel any sort of distaste for our marriage, then you must take the blame upon yourself. Princess Iris is innocent and I will be damned before I let you lay a hand on her ever again.”

The corners of your lips tilted upwards. Matching his hard stare, you exhaled. “You are far more despicable than I believed you capable, my Prince.”

He let out a sardonic laugh.

“Had you not laid a hand on her, this would have never happened. This was your fault. You could have simply played your part as a docile wife, left her alone, and I would have still regarded you kindly.”

“Regard me kindly?” you echoed, “You expect me to flatter you in thanks that you would treat your wife civilly under the condition I turn a blind eye to your affair?”

“Yes, for that is all you will ever get from me,” looking at you from head to toe, Prince Suna snickered. “I don’t even know what I saw in you. You should be elated I even married you to begin with—had I not, you would have rotted alone in your silly little mansion. Unloved. Uncared for. Unvaluable. As you always have been.”

Unknown to your numbed state, your husband walked away.

He rounded the car and went inside his seat, locking it before you could get a chance to get in. The sound of the engine revving brought you back to life as you peered at your husband with wide eyes, pounding on the glass windows while he slowly backed away. He would not dare leave you here, right? He wouldn’t. “Your Highness, wait! Please don’t leave—”

The Prince could not even bother to look back at you once before his car zoomed past, the vehicle slowly disappearing into view. You were left with the company of the birds’ chirping and your heartbeat drumming in your chest, falling back onto your bum as you processed what just happened.

He left you.

“No, no, no, this is not happening... it can’t be...”

The Prince, your husband, your best friend, your whole world—he just left you. Not once did he look back—there was no remorse or mercy in his words or actions—he just left you. And you realized perhaps heartbreak was a worse fate than death because surely, nothing could hurt more than this. You were slowly being pushed to the edge as your ring glinted back at you in the sunlight, serving as a cruel reminder that your fairytale of a love story ended before it even began. What were you thinking anyway? That he was a Prince Charming sweeping you off your feet to the land of happily ever after’s? That was not real. He was not real. The Prince was not charming, he never loved you, and you knew all that. You always knew.

And maybe the Prince spoke nothing but the truth.

Maybe this was all your fault.

You could have avoided this on the night he announced your engagement and you found out about his affair. Or was it really an affair? He loved her first. He met her first. He simply met you at a different time and he already had someone else in his heart, but why did his words bear a heavy weight of truth the more he rubbed it in your face you were useless? Was this all you were good for? Good enough to be a Princess, but not worthy enough to be a loved wife.

Did you really mean so little to him?

By this point, you were just playing with fire. He was right by calling you a fool because you knew everything yet acted as if you were clueless and stepped head-on in a battle you were not prepared for.

This was too much, and you’d been married for barely a week. Everything was falling apart right before your eyes yet you never learned your lesson as you stood up and rubbed at the ache in your chest, the tears salty on your lips and stinging your skin from how flushed you’d been. Like a true fool, you retraced the indents of his wheel into the concrete and planned to walk back home when the scenery before you had you halting in your steps. Surrounded by trees of green and hills looming overhead, you could not spot your manor from here. You did not know where to go, and you did not have a phone to ask for help. You hadn’t travelled enough around the humble town and its massive territories of land to memorize the way back home from this dead end, and you don’t think you had ever felt this hopeless in your life before.

Who would come save you now?

“Rin,” you choked back his name with a sob, hugging your arms to yourself as the nearby forest haunted you with its dark, looming presence. Here, you were left alone, and no Prince Charming or a Knight in Shining Armour would come help you now no matter how hard you tried to summon one.

After all, you were not a Princess in a fairytale. You did not live in a universe where there would be fairies to come saving you or a light would guide you for the darkness that would settle in a number of hours. The reality of your fate was that you were in a loveless marriage where you were more of a pawn than a woman, and the man you so dearly loved and gave your everything to was powerful enough to leave you high and blue in the middle of nowhere.

The slamming of car doors shut woke everybody up from their agitated stupors in the welcoming room. There, the Sixth Prince met eyes with his brothers and their wives who eyed him up and down in careful glances before they settled to the empty side him, the silent question hanging in the air as to why his wife was not there. Well, he always hated to disappoint, but Prince Suna would not be bringing her back anytime soon. He merely ignored his brothers’ raised brows and searched for the pair of eyes—the only one who seemed eager for his return without a smidge of judgement in her brown, doe eyes.

“Angel,” he immediately softened, crouching before his lover whose legs wouldn’t stop bouncing on the couch. Caressing her knee, he left little kisses on her skin. “How are you feeling? You are not injured anywhere, are you?”

“No, my Prince. There is not even a single scratch on me.”

Rin sighed in relief. “Oh, thank heavens.”

At least Princess Iris was safe. Had you really shot her and not that stupid bird, Prince Suna would fear of what he was capable of doing to you. Divorce would be too merciful, but exile did not seem gratifying enough either. The law clearly stated that anyone who should bring harm or even threat the safety of a royal would immediately be punished through execution, and Prince Suna was not far from deeming it the opposite of plausible.

However, his flickering relief over Iris’ safety vanished the moment your name fell from her lips.

“Your Highness... where is the Princess?”

Scowling, Rin snatched a nearby bottle of whiskey and situated himself beside his lover. He would rather not let you cross his mind from now on. “Refrain from asking about the Princess. I do not wish to talk about her after she pulled that stunt with you.”

Prince Tooru whistled from the doorway. “Well, I’ll be damned, brother. You might as well say goodbye to the throne you so badly want after this,” he sniggered before pushing his weight off the wall, using two fingers to gesture a servant to scurry his way. Whatever Tooru was thinking, Suna did not like it, and he watched as his brother stuffed his hands deep into his pockets with a bored expression. “Oi, fetch me my keys—”

“You will not go after the Princess.”

The Fifth Prince paused momentarily before his laughter echoed in the room.

“Are you serious, brother? I understand you are upset with what she did, but it was valid, don’t you think? The entire time we have been here, you paid more attention to your brother’s wife than your own. In fact, you two are so desperate for each other I would not put it past the Princess if she knew about you already, so if you ask me, was it ethical she pointed a gun at Iris? Absolutely not. But do I support it? Mayhaps. It was a bold move, if you ask me, and heavens know this trip would have been numbingly boring were it not for—”

Beside him, Prince Kiyoomi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Tooru, please shut your mouth. You are not helping the situation.”

Prince Tooru surveyed everybody’s face at his brother’s comment, and was left disappointed when the servants ducked their heads or averted gazes. Even his brothers were highly unimpressed, and his usual teetering wife cowered behind him at the apparent irritation of Suna.

“Oh, stop looking at me like that, guys! I am not better than any of you, but at least have some self-awareness!” he grumbled, “It does not matter if I am not good terms with Princess Maiko—our marriage was just for money anyway. But this is Rintaro we are talking about. If the cheeky Princess decides to open her mouth about what her own husband did—if he does not even try going after her—then he’s fucked. Bye-bye King Suna, long live the king! Oh wait, I forgot we don’t have one.”

“Stay out of marriages that are not yours.”

“I could say the same about you,” retorted Prince Tooru without missing a beat, and judging by the exasperated frown of his beloved brother, Tooru knew he had pressed a button.

“Do not speak to me so casually. You may be older than me, but I am still your Crown Prince.”

“Frankly speaking, brother, I do not give a fuck about your title and rank, but alright,” dropping the car keys the servant had given him back to the tray it was presented on, Prince Tooru walked out of the room with a mock salute. “I warned you, so don’t come crying to me when your short-lived marriage ends in a divorce. ‘Can’t promise things won’t get ugly.”

The hours into eventide would have been more bearable were Suna’s brothers not ignoring him. Clearly, they disapproved of his decisions, but who was he to care? He was the Crown Prince and held the highest authority out of everybody within that room; he had no obligation to please anybody but himself and his lover. He could not care less that nobody spoke a word during dinner, excluding Prince Tooru’s blatant, exaggerated sighs and careless throwaway comment that you must have been eaten by bears by now, which (much to his demise) plagued his head until his brothers and Princess Maiko retreated into the game room once they finished their meals.

They seemed too eager to leave, and while he had no intention of following, Suna couldn’t help it.

He refused to join their silly games (not that he was invited) when they were being rude to him and acting as if he did not exist, but Suna found himself hiding outside the room anyways as he awaited Prince Tooru to at least half-heartedly invite him. Make brotherly amends or some shit. Childish as it sounded, but he hated having discourse with his brothers. He already lived plenty of years separated from them per Her Majesty’s command. It was not until Prince Suna became the official Crown Prince along with Wakatoshi that he was given a chance to spend more time with the brothers he grew up without, so the silent treatment was akin to torture to him—as if it was not enough that the possibility of you being in danger lingered in his head.

He seriously pondered over it. Or more like, Rintaro would not stop pacing back and forth in your shared room as he mentally debated whether he should get you back or not. Even Princess Iris got impatient with his lack of responses to her that she occupied herself with drinks.

But no, Rintaro had to be strict with himself. You were getting too comfortable now that you were granted with power and the privilege to be his lover, even if it was only on paper, that it was only right he set boundaries and put you back in your place. You ought to be taught a lesson. It would only be harder for you if he broke the news of his ‘affair’ further into the future, or so he was convincing himself. The truth was that Prince Suna was unsure he would be able to sleep if something happened to you.

What if you were hurt?

You must be so scared and looking for him right now—that was just who you were, utterly forgiving and still seeking the comfort only he can provide like he was not also the cause of your misery.

He may not be in love, but he still cared.

He cared enough that he remained hiding in the dark hallway outside the pool room upon hearing Princess Maiko conversing with a servant. “Have you found the Princess?”

“Yes, Your Highness. The Princess headed to the town centre and arrived in a bed and breakfast establishment. We believe she will spend several nights there as she carried with her some spare clothes she must have got along the way,” the servant’s voice grew quieter, “Should we pick the Princess up, Your Highness? She is without guards. This will pose a threat to her safety the further she is from the royal family.”

“Picking her up would draw too much attention... the people might wonder why the newly married Princess is wandering the town alone.”

Prince Suna could hear the cogs turning in Princess Maiko’s head, but their thoughts were cut off when Prince Kiyoomi mumbled something along the lines of, “Leave her be. She will be fine.” Suna could not hear well from this distance, but the laid back confidence from his brother’s voice put him at unrest. You barely interacted with Kiyoomi due to his constant absence, so what gave him the right to act as if he knew you well?

“How are you so sure of that, my Prince?”

Prince Tooru hollered from scoring in the background. “Hah, take that, Omi-Omi! I was always better at you in everything!”

The older brother ignored Tooru. “This is her hometown, and the place is filled with farmers and cattle only. Other roads or points of entry have also been closed off for our privacy. Trading wine was put on temporary hold. Nobody gets in or out while we’re here. I assure you the Princess will be safe, perhaps even more comfortable that she is left alone,” he noted, and Suna hated how right he sounded. “Put yourself in her shoes. She does not want to see any of us right now.”

‘Us’ naturally including him.

This was your honeymoon, and against his better self, he had actually looked forward to it, too. Suna wanted to spend time with you in the same town you spent every childhood summer in as your stories never failed to bring him a sense of belonging and the promise of a home he was not familiar with. He would be lying too if he said he did not imagine your future children running around this same manor someday, thinking he’d love to play hide and seek with the kids and teach them how to ride bikes—simple yet normal experiences for a child that his parents deprived him of. But he also had Iris, and Suna would rather be lacking in a royal title than to be a father as bad as his, which is why the actual possibility of having you bear his children was not as easy as it seemed.

Nevertheless, it weighed heavily on his shoulders with each passing second where he is reminded he ruined the honeymoon. His marriage, which was sweet while it lasted, was crumbling to pieces. Everything he hoped for seemed like a far away dream again.

He wondered, though, if maybe Tooru was right. If Suna ran after you and apologized, maybe got on his knees to beg for your forgiveness, would that have changed anything? Would you still come back to him after everything he said to you? After he abandoned you?

Sighing, Suna retreats into the living room. Where he expected solace, he was instead greeted by your family portrait. You couldn’t have been older than ten in the photo, with your parents’ hands on your shoulder and you shyly beaming up at the camera while your parents gazed down fondly at you. It was clear to anybody how adored you were, but now Suna tore his eyes away from the portrait as he imagined the look on your mother’s face if she finds out about his lies. How your father, who he also considered his own after being disregarded by His Late Majesty, would refuse to share drinks or hunt with him again. Not after he hurt their precious daughter.

He had to be more than thick faced if he wanted to face your parents again.

With that thought, Suna sat forward with his arms on his knees, head buried in his hands as the turmoil in his head messed with him. It wasn’t until soft fingers wrapped around his bicep that Suna opened his eyes to see his beloved smiling softly at him. She reeked of alcohol, but he was always left in awe by her beauty.

The sight of her, safe and sound, and staying with him no matter what, had him leaning against the couch. “Iris...” She climbs onto his lap without a second word and wraps her arms around his neck. She didn’t say anything, but the soothing circles she left on his skin did not much to soothe him, nor did it provide a solution to his troubles.

As if noticing the distress on his face, Iris nudged her nose with his. “You should go after her, Rinrin. She needs you right now.”

Suna’s face fell.

Was Iris really suggesting that right now? Did she not know she was the reason Suna had to leave you like that?

“Why are... are you pushing me away?”

“I am not, but your brother is right. People will find it suspicious that she is alone when she was supposed to be with you, especially at a time when newly married couples cannot keep their hands off of each other,” she reminded, her newly done French tips brushing against his chest as she patted him like he was a child unable to comprehend common sense. “You must bring her back home, Rin. All your plans will fall to ruin if you do not try to win her back.”

“I do not want to her win back. She nearly killed you.”

“She never hurt me. See?” brushing her hair back to reveal her shoulders—where the bullet was just centimetres away from grazing her—Iris squeezed Suna in reassurance. “The Princess would never do that. She must have just woken up in a bad mood and I happen to be in the way when she was overwhelmed. Marriages are daunting. Take it from me, I have more experience than you.”

Suna bit back the gloom welcoming him.

The last thing he wanted was to ask his own girlfriend for marriage advice, so he pressed kisses onto her knuckles in the hopes she’d stop mentioning how she was a married woman. “You are too kind, you know that?”

Iris giggled as Suna’s lips tickle her skin.

“I am just fair. The Princess does not seem like a rash person, so go ahead and apologize for leaving her. Remember, Rin, we need her to help us stay together. You need to get on her good side.”

“You think she will accept my apology after everything I said?”

Iris brushed Rin’s hair comfortingly. “Like I always say,” she hummed, “If she truly loved you, she would forgive you no matter what. All married couples fight. This should not get in the way if she wanted a strong marriage with you.” Now that, Suna wondered how credible it would be coming from her when she and Kiyoomi never had a marital altercation. They went their separate ways from the day of the wedding and have been contented with the way things had been as they weren’t aware of each other’s existence prior to the marriage, but Suna’s situation was drastically different.

He had been lying to you since the beginning, and he didn’t know which was worse—the fact that he felt guilty but will keep hurting you anyway, or his selfish desire to keep you wrapped around his finger.

“You are right, but... I do not want to see her right now. Even the thought of having to apologize to the woman who harmed you sickens me.”

“Oh, you are over thinking now, my Prince,” she cooed, gripping his chin to force him to look at her when his gaze levelled with her chest instead, inviting him to touch them. Soon, his hands were running up her sides until their lips met halfway from their neediness for each other. The current stressful events along with the fear of nearly losing his beloved drove Suna to hoisting her legs to wrap around his waist as they stumbled into the bedroom, and the next parts to come felt almost like a routine. Therapeutic, almost, because with her—with Iris—he did not have to pretend. He did not have to worry about anything else when he was buried inside her and she was moaning his name into his ear like a prayer, nor did he have the energy to care about the missing wife he had treated awfully.

But Iris could only distract him for so long.

Because as soon as she drifted off to sleep, Rin was left alone staring at his wedding ring. Reminiscing how bright your smile had been when he first slipped the engagement ring to your hands which he kissed afterwards. Remembering how hurt you looked when he told you the truth, yet he knew he had no damn right to hope for your forgiveness.

Tooru was right—Suna might as well say goodbye to the throne he sought out from the moment he fell in love with Iris. Iris...

Glancing at his lover’s blissfully asleep form beside him, snuggled into his arm like he was the only thing keeping her afloat, Suna’s throat grew tight at the realization he was unknowingly turning you into her. How he did not mean to do so, but he ended up mistreating you the same way Kiyoomi did to Iris. How hypocritical of him that he hated his older brother for not loving his wife when he was not any better, and Suna shut his eyes to block the thoughts away. He did not want to be like Kiyoomi. He did not want to be like Tooru who reminded his wife every day that he wishes he was never born if it meant ending up with her. He did not want to be like his father who only married his mother because he was an irresponsible, drunkard bastard who needed a capable woman to fulfil his duties to the country while he bedded multiple women.

Suna wanted to be better than them, but how?

If there was even the smallest chance of redemption for himself, he would take it. All he needed was to—

Go after you.

That was right. He just needed to find you and take you back home, apologize for what he’d done and come clean about everything he lied to you about. You deserved that, and Suna was shuffling out of bed as carefully as he could to not wake Iris up before he even realized what he was doing.

Clothes on, wedding ring secured on his finger, and his car keys twirled on his finger, Suna shut the door and left the manor.

He would find you.

He would get you back, and he would stop at nothing until you were running back into his arms again.

The town centre could not be anymore farther from the manor than a ten minute drive. He arrived there in less from how eagerly he rushed into looking for that bed and breakfast establishment the servant was talking about, but it proved to be a challenge when he was greeted by a silent, dead town. All the lights were shut off, not a single soul was in sight, and the chilly cold air made his fingers feel numb even through his jacket.

Suna winced. He couldn’t remember if you wore a jacket that morning before he drove off. Shrugging his own, he rested it on his arms before finally walking towards the largest building with the lights still on—its brightness like a firefly dancing in the middle of a pitch black river. He gravitated to it like his heart just knew you were there, and the Prince could not contain his smile when he saw an elderly couple talking inside.

They spoke in hushed whispers over a cup of coffee, brows knotted together that Suna had to knock at least three times to get their attention.

“Your Highness!” the old lady noticed him first and quickly placed down her coffee before opening the door, her eyes widening by a fraction at the Prince’s unannounced arrival. Behind her, her husband waddled with a deep frown. “I—how may we serve you today, Your Highness? We don’t have any guests over to ensure the safety of your honeymoon—”

“My wife. Is she here?”

“Oh...” the old lady glanced back at her husband, seemingly sharing a silent conversation before she nodded. “Yes, the Princess arrived here this morning.”

Suna had to physically restrain himself from showing relief by balling his hands into his fists. Smiling as politely as he could, he welcomed himself inside the building, knowing full well nobody could deny him entrance or escort him out lest they wanted their business to fail. The old couple must have been aware of this too as they silently trailed behind the curious Prince assessing the lobby and looking for any signs you were there.

“How is she doing?”

“The Princess is well, Your Highness. She is merely paying her monthly visits to check on the family business and spends the night here as usual. I suppose this routine of hers must have surprised you?”

“Family business?”

The old lady, who introduced herself as Maggie, pushed her glasses up her nose and cleared her throat. “Yes, Your Highness. Her Highness’ maternal side of the family owns all establishments here in Greenville. It is not uncommon that she sees for herself how the business fares—the Princess has always been diligent and hardworking at such a young age. That was why we are not surprised that she still paid time to visit us even on her honeymoon.”

“I see,” he raised a brow at the new information. He’d always known your mother handled several chains of business that benefitted the royal family, but to own everything in a small town of his kingdom unnerved him. If he was not mistaken, Greenville was the biggest supplier of multiple infamous Inarizaki wines. To have you be in control of such a percentage of what kept Inarizaki’s economy and popularity flourishing... Suna couldn’t help but wonder what the consequences would be if you left him. Having you as his partner drastically increased the approval he received as a more respectable Crown Prince compared to his brother’s wife, Princess Camilla, who came from a line of nobles who were no longer as influential as they used to be.

“My wife is truly impressive. I had not known about this beforehand, and was worried sick when I woke up alone in bed.”

“If His Highness was worried, why only seek the Princess out now? It is nearing sunrise,” the old man grumbled, only to be smacked by his wife whose face paled.

“Albert!”

However, Suna was a Crown Prince. He couldn’t let an old man’s accusatory tone get the best of him—a perfectly done faux nervous smile partnered by scratching the back of his head was all he needed to pull off the act of an innocently worried husband. “All she left me was a note of her doing some errands and that she would be home before midnight, but she must have been too tired to return home. I thought I had to pick her up now,” he informed, eyes scanning the area before it landed on a certain room that lit a light bulb in his head. “Do you mind if I borrow your kitchen?”

“Of course not, Your Highness! Feel free to roam around the place as you please, but... you do not have to cook for yourself, my Prince. We would be more than honoured to prepare breakfast for you and your wife. Please tell us your preferences and any dietary restrictions.”

Suna waved a dismissive hand.

“I will cook Her Highness breakfast myself.”

He just hoped he would not accidentally poison you. Suna did not know how to cook, much less do anything mundane such as chores, but he would even go as far as borrowing a cookbook now that he was here anyway. He had eyes on him, and an old man was already suspicious that Suna had to stifle a snicker at the newfound irritation.

Why couldn’t you have just come home? You did not have to stir up this much trouble.

But alas, he was the cause of it, so he needed to fix it himself.

Guided by Maggie to the kitchen and giving him instructions on how to use the stove, the three of them were surprised by the sound of the front door slamming open with heavy footsteps. Suna was quick to reach out an arm to protect the defenceless elderly couple behind him, prepared to face any sort of danger when he saw a tuft of brown hair and a giggling woman in his arms. The tall man struggled to help the woman inside before she sank into the couch, falling into a fit of laughter mixed with sobs in the span of seconds.

“Tooru?”

Caught red-handed, Tooru’s eyes widened upon seeing Suna trudge to where they are. His mouth fell agape at you sprawled out on the couch, head resting on Tooru’s thighs as you mumbled something he couldn’t catch over and over again. Enraged, Suna attempted to move your head away from Tooru when you protested and flailed your arms in defiance.

“Ugh, let me goooo!”

“Tooru, did you get my wife drunk?” Suna snapped, his heart pounding incessantly as an overwhelming bitter emotion swelled in his chest. “What the fuck were you doing with her?!”

The Fifth Prince rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak, but was rudely cut off when your voice turned serious even as the words came out slurred. “Oh look, it’s my husband dearest,” you sniffled, and Suna finally noticed how your face was flushed and tear stains were evident in your skin. His instincts getting the best of him, he wrapped you in his jacket the next second, shuffling you into his arms while he ignored your fists lightly bumping his chest with every sob forced out of you.

His heart ached.

“Let me go, I don’t w-want to see you!”

Rubbing his palms up and down your back, Suna left three kisses on your forehead until you calmed down from the gesture, burying deep into his embrace until your tears pooled into the crook of his neck. And he hated it, hated how he could feel your body quiver while you fisted his shirt the harder you cried and found it harder to breathe. He hated how he couldn’t do much to help other than to keep kissing your cheeks, your eyelids, your tears—anything to reassure you that he was not going to leave again. “Shh, my Princess, I’m here now, you’re alright—”

The Crown Prince was rendered speechless at the next words that left your mouth.

“I will—” you hiccupped through another sob, “—never let you become King.”

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