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#suna x reader romance
sukirichi · 2 years
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[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 007 ]
“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”
c/w. modern royal au. infidelity. angst. gaslighting. toxic characters. suggestive. toxic relationships. mentions of neglect and abuse. hurt and comfort. it’s cringy when suna calls us ‘my love.’ half heartedly edited.
notes. this chapter is dedicated to all my fellow oikawa fuckers, enjoy <33 i’m really in love with how deep his character can be like lowkey he has more personality (as of now) than rintaro lol
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[ SEVEN ] i know you don’t really see my worth. you think you’re the last guy on earth, well, i’ve got news for you. i know i’m not that strong, but it won’t take long
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 “Would you stop pacing?” Prince Tooru reprimanded. His wife, the ever-so-sweet Maiko, jumped a little at the sting of his voice. She was no longer an alien to his harshness, nor was it anything new for her the way he sent daggers her direction. “It’s an eyesore.”
“My apologies, Your Highness. I just... I’m extremely worried for the Princess.”
The Prince kept flicking through the television. However, behind his uncaring facade, he shared the same sentiments as her. Everyone would be lying if they said the entire manor hadn’t been deadly quiet the entire night, save for the hushed whispers between your servants appalled by Rintaro’s display. Tooru was actually impressed they hadn’t called your parents by now. Your servants watched you grow up and had been loyal to your family for years, yet not a single one of them stopped the Crown Prince from dragging their precious Princess like she was nothing but prey. Then again, Tooru mused, maids from a noble family would never go against the crown.
“You heard what Kiyoomi said. The Princess wants space, and Suna will not let us step a foot outside either. We have no choice but to await her return.”
“Would she even return?”
Hearing the scuffle of her feet rubbing against the carpet one more time, Tooru dragged a palm down his face. “Look. I cannot answer your questions, so can we please just go to sleep?” Sleep, of course, meaning that Prince Tooru enjoyed the luxury of your guest room’s king-sized bed while his wife remained on the couch. Hell, he was kind enough to share the same room as her.
Unbothered by the Prince’s nonchalance, Maiko gazed at her feet and fiddled with her fingers.
“Your Highness, I-I know this sounds far-fetched of me, but would you grant me a small favour? I promise I would repay you generously—”
“If you offer to leave me the fuck alone for a month, I might consider it.”
Maiko’s head snapped up. Her husband held no trace of remorse on his face as he pulled the blankets under his chin, handsome as usual—as all the Princes were—even with his eyes peacefully closed. Such a sight made him look unbelievably gentle with the way soft, brown strands of hair brushed over his forehead. And Maiko, poor Maiko who never learned, had no choice but to swallow her pride and give in to the Prince’s request. Whether it was because she had been in love him with him for the longest time and this was the first, possibly last, chance he would ever hear out, Maiko prioritized your well-being over anything else.
“I...Of course, Your Highness. If it is what you wish.”
Tooru raised a brow in disbelief, eyes narrowed at his wife’s sagging shoulders. Just like that? Ah, but he wasn’t complaining. “Fine. What do you want?”
“Please find the Princess. O-Or at least check up on her, talk to her or something. Anything would be of great help as long as she knew she does not have to face this alone. The Princess is having a hard time and it breaks my heart to imagine she is all by herself—”
“Why don’t you go yourself if you care so badly?”
“Because...” Maiko frowned, “If the Crown Prince catches me, I am done for. He might be far more merciful to you considering you are his brother.”
“That is hilarious,” Tooru couldn’t hold back a guffaw. “You think Rintaro would be less bothered if his brother sought out his damsel in distress of a wife? Oh, how gold. Has it not crossed your mind that Rintaro is oddly possessive over his wife? He thinks either Kiyoomi and I will snag her up.”
“But you will not, so—”
“What if I did, hm?” he challenged. Instantly, Maiko held her breath, awaiting the threat—or rather the possibility—that Tooru didn’t jester. He had always made it clear how he didn’t want her. Expressing at any opportunity he could take about his desire to have had the privilege to choose who he could have been married to, and Maiko knew exactly what he was doing. The Prince, just like now, was simply reminding her the consequences of her actions. But she must have been a true masochist as she remained mum in her spot the longer he continued, sitting up now and tilting his head with a smirk. “The Princess is gorgeous. I could easily choose her over you any day, so let me ask—would you still want me to find her and lend her a shoulder to cry on?”
Be strong, Maiko—was what she must be thinking. And honestly? Tooru thought it was complete, utter bullshit. She could plant her feet on the ground as solidly as she could, but he refused to have his bones buried next to hers.
Maiko had already taken his life.
He should choose his own death now, and if that meant slowly driving a dagger deep into her heart and carving out his to place into the mercy of your hands—because god forbid, you would be death of everyone someday—then Tooru would have no regrets. To have his fate intertwined with yours, whether the outcome may be bitter or would shatter him to pieces, would be honourable. A heaven in comparison to the hell bowing his head at him right now.
“We are family now, Your Highness. She needs us.”
“I take that as a yes?” Tooru mocked. He didn’t wait for her response as he was swiping his car keys off the counter the next second, his jacket shrugged on and halfway out the door before he sang, “As you wish, my dear.”
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There are some things Tooru would never admit out loud. One, how he grew up closest to Kiyoomi and Keiji out of their shared love for literature, and that those two brothers of his held one of his most embarrassing secrets on how Tooru loved romantic novels. Jane Austen? He personally booked a theatre all for himself just to watch the film adaptations of her works. Margaret Mitchell? Tooru had handmade notebooks buried deep within his study filled with his favourite lines from her in perfect cursive; the younger version of him fantasizing about what it felt like to yearn for somebody your being felt incomplete without them. Two, how grateful he was deep down that Maiko had asked him to find you, because truth be told, only Rintaro got in his way. He would have ran after you hours ago the moment his bastard brother returned to the manor without his wife in tow. But appearances must be kept, trouble must be avoided if it provided more conflict than entertainment, and looking at it now, Tooru didn’t quite regret his previous actions.
The pitch-black sky felt more comforting than haunting as he pulled out of the driveway and headed to town. Maiko informed him you were at your family’s bed and breakfast, quite possibly asleep, but fuck it, right? Tooru convinced himself he wasn’t doing this for his wife. Never for Maiko, but not quite for you, either. Other than having a miserably pretty face that wasn’t as adored as it should be, and a heart bigger than Maiko was capable of, Tooru came to a conclusion he was doing it for himself.
Yes, he was simply a bored prince. Dragged into the edge of the country with no phones to use since Maiko would just snoop around, and Rintaro didn’t help with the situation by driving everybody apart. Even Kiyoomi seemed more of a bore than usual. So yes, Tooru was fetching you for his own gain, because surely listening to a broken hearted woman weep about her woes sounded far more entertaining than pretending to be asleep back at the manor.
No. He did not care about you at all.
He does not care one bit as he found you minutes later, sulking like a little child on the swings under an old sycamore tree whose leaves danced amongst the wind. He would admit, however, that you were undeniably beautiful. You always had been.
With a fresh face that granted him the luxury of seeing how crestfallen, forlorn eyes could remain dull under the moonlight’s gleam, Tooru tightened his grip on the scotch bottle. He wondered how sadness could look so beguiling on someone—whatnot with the lines of your frown and the absence of light you usually emanated. You sat there unaware of his presence looming overhead of you before you kicked and up high you flew. Skirt flowing at the same time you finally turned your head to look up at the sky, eyes glistening with tears and kissable lips quivering with slow, shuddered breaths he knew held back a sob. Tooru couldn’t help but find it befitting how you would one day hold power over everyone, because you were capable of breaking hearts. You could ruin kingdoms and tear everything apart. Yet, Tooru also knew how gentle you could be. He had shared enough family dinners with you to grow envious—no matter if he was aware they were all a sham—with the way you and Rintaro would share knowing smiles with each other like you both spoke a secret language exclusive only for those who had experienced falling in love.
Was this why Rintaro was so adamant in keeping you?
Had his brother even looked at you this way?
You made princes like him who grew up skilled in the arts of swordsmanship and combat weak in the knees. All you had to do was keep kicking your feet and fly higher up in the air and Tooru wouldn’t have argued if somebody told him he saw a fairy that night. A fairy who shed tears for a man unworthy of it. A fairy who mourned for a love that was never hers and whose cries were as muted as the dumbfounded Prince tracing the shape of your lips with his eyes and wonders, what would his name sound like if you whispered it to his ears? Would it feel biblical if Tooru could also share a secret language with you and murmur it into the crevices of your palm in a promising kiss, or would your words curse him into a thoughtless follower who walked into his own demise? You would be his Queen, after all. You would be the one he would fight for his life with, and whose wishes would become his command—his only good reason for living.
“Fuck,” Tooru muttered under his breath as he leant against his car. He could already feel his heart pounding. And for what? The spine-chilling realization of—or more like could no longer deny—that he found his brother’s wife mesmerizing? “Fuck you, Rintaro. I don’t wanna be like you. I’m not stealing anybody’s wife.”
Tooru chanted those words in his head like a mantra.
He needed more than a bottle of alcohol to get him through the night without accidentally blurting anything stupid, which he was certain was the last thing you needed. Tonight, you needed a friend. You needed someone with genuine intentions after being cruelly dragged into a make believe story of Prince meets Beauty, only to wake up with an unfortunate twist of Beauty and the Beast where happy endings didn’t exist when Rintaro was the Beast through and through.
Tonight, you would not be Prince and Princess.
Tooru would come as himself, and with a clear of his throat, plastered on his infamous smirk. “The night is too good to spend alone, Your Highness. I am quite certain no lovely woman would envision their honeymoon to turn out this way.”
You halted your body from swinging up.
Eyes widening at the sight of the Fifth Prince in nothing but sleepwear and a coat, your mouth falls open. You must have remembered you were now a Princess and had to act properly in front of a royal blood that you sat up straight. The action had Tooru sucking in a sharp breath before making himself comfortable on the swing beside you, opting to stare out in the vast fields because his chest was fluttering at the look on your face. How relieved you seemed upon seeing him. Like he was your hero even if he was far from having heroic attributes, and Tooru bit the insides of his cheeks.
He loathed how that passing moment made him feel important and brought a tint to his cheeks.
“Your Highness,” you began, “Wh-What brings you here?”
“To comfort a certain lonely Princess,” he winked, and you respond with a surprised squeak. “What? Can’t believe that the most handsome Prince is now your knight in shining armour? Don’t flatter yourself, though. This will not be a daily occurrence and—”
“Thank you.” Ducking your head, you stare at your lap, and Tooru patiently waited for you to continue speaking. He could see your eyes water as you swallow audibly, “I...I did not think anyone would bother to come find me, much less you, my Prince. Out of everybody, I thought you might have cared the least, but forgive me for I was mistaken.”
“Well,” he shrugged, “Not everyone is as heartless as Rintaro. Not your fault too that you thought of me that way.”
The both of you share a knowing smile—his telling you that you would be alright, and you reciprocating a thankful one. A comfortable silence settled after that. None of you found the need to talk about anything when Tooru wasn’t the best at comforting, and you were more than satisfied for the company. It shocked him, though, how he unexpectedly ended up playing in the swings with his brother’s wife at three in the morning, surrounded by nothing but grass and the faint sounds of crickets chirping. The wind would occasionally hum, and so did you.
The intimate beginning of a core memory felt like a scene straight out of a novel, but Tooru knew better. As much as he cherished this moment of sharing a silence with somebody in a world filled with people demanding for answers and explanations, Tooru understood this moment would not last. He had to remind himself he wasn’t your Prince. You weren’t his Princess. You were both just royals stripped of their titles until they were reduced to nothing but humans at their rawest form—a Princess with a disloyal husband, a broken heart and pride, and him as a Prince who didn’t quite knew where he belonged. At least, Tooru knew his place, and maybe that was why it felt a bit wrong to be the one next to you this moment. You were newly married and should be having this emotional intimacy with your husband. Not his brother. It was a constant fight of push and pull in his brain of wanting to be greedy and have more for this, whatever the fuck this was, whatever the fuck it meant now that you were smiling to yourself without saying anything, but Tooru chose to be the bigger person and stop kicking his feet.
“Say,” he scrunched his nose, “The town is dead, and you look like you have a lot to get off your chest. What do you say about a drive up the hill? You can scream as much as you want there.”
“Scream? Why would I scream?”
“Curse out Rintaro. I do that a lot when he gets on my nerves.”
When you laughed at his words, Tooru had to stop himself from getting too ahead of himself. Surely, it didn’t mean anything at all that he just made a pretty Princess laugh, even if your laugh was so airy and sounded so nice he would have taken full credit of doing a job well done for being a temporary friend.
“That does not sound too bad. In fact, I know a spot.”
The spot being a ten minute walk up the hill, far enough to be hidden from the prying gaze despite everybody being asleep but close enough that Tooru could retrace the steps back to the town in fear you would get lost again. Not that he had to worry. You were already steps ahead of him, shoes looped into your fingers as your toes dug into the bare earth—the very spitting image of a woman he couldn’t have most with sparkling hair pins keeping the strands kissed by the wind at bay.
Right. He needed to look away.
You were not his to appreciate.
“How did you find me, Prince Tooru?” you asked when you’d both settled next to each other, knees slightly brushing with every relaxed move.
Prying his eyes away from your fingers spreading to let the blades of grass peek through the spaces, Tooru raised a shoulder. Stop, he chastised himself. Do not muse about how strong the soil must be that night to carry the unspoken sorrows that weighed heavier than earth itself. Do not put yourself into the shoes birthed with a responsibility you were not man enough to step in on.
“Let’s just say that my wife and I never really went to the shop centres. That was nothing but a lame excuse we had to tell her parents. Instead, I roamed around this lovely town of yours and wished earlier that this might as well be my spot—but of course, this has always been yours, isn’t it?” he attempted to lighten the mood, “You have a lovely view from here.”
While his view from his bedroom, up north in the Inarizaki Tower, granted him the vision of a god who saw all from the citizens rising early in the morning to mill about for work to children laughing as they chased each other outside their parents’ humble, little shops, nothing could have compared to the serenity of Greenville. Miles and miles of land rich with flowers and fruitful trees laid home to rows of grapevines; its scent so addicting the Prince might as well have gotten drunk from a single whiff. The land stretched overhead until the peak of the mountains along the edge allowed room for the sun to stretch its arms out in a few hours’ time. Crickets chirped. The wind sang a lullaby that put the people to sleep, and he had you next to him. Close enough he might have plucked out the flower tempting him nearby with its dulcet beauty and humorously recite you poetry like he was your lover if that would make you smile.
Unfortunately, you didn’t share the same sentiments as him. “I doubt anything could be lovely from now on.”
“Don’t let my brother get to you.”
“That is easy for you to say,” you exhaled, “You and your brothers all the same. We, as wives, never meant anything significant to your hearts. You throw us to the side away like we are lesser than dust. I doubt you could even understand my pain when you are clearly incapable of being a good husband with the inability to feel love.”
Biting back his tongue to ask “don’t you want to prove me wrong about that?”, Tooru blew a low whistle. “You don’t pull your punches, do you? That is harsh.”
“Well, I see no need to coddle you, my Prince. You are a grown man who needs to realize his own disgusting flaws.”
At any other day, Tooru would’ve taken the unnecessary projection of your own heartbreak out to him with disdain, but today was different. For his own entertainment, he would be a little kinder. A little more patient. So he let it slide, and masked his confused heart with the one thing he had perfected—the all-too-confident smile that made men and women weak in the knees. The smile that brought him to where he is now, married and unhappy.
“Oh, there is no need, Princess. I am more than well aware of what makes me terrible,” he admitted, “What my brother did was wrong. There is no excuse for his behaviour, but you must understand—this is all very common to us now. Rintaro was able to deceive you like that because he had seen it with his own eyes; how marriages needed to be successful politically but never romantically, and once he has a goal in mind, nothing is stopping him from achieving that,” it was more of a warning than a reminder, and Tooru snuck a glance to confirm if you understood where he was going. “Do not take it personally, Princess. Rintaro would have been a liar either way whether it was you or not that he first laid his eyes on.”
“Is that supposed to comfort me?”
“I am shit at comforting others—” a laugh was pulled from him before the Prince steals the bottle from your hands and takes a swig. “—but I do sincerely hope you stop crying now.”
His words had the opposite effect. Not even past the neck of the bottle, you choked before him in a fit of sniffles and sobs. Eyes puffy and red, lips wobbly and fingers angrily wiping away at the tears you desperately tried to conceal from his stupefied gaze. “What do you care whether I cry or not?”
Out of instinct, Tooru’s arm reached out to stop you from pinching your cheeks.
Slapped by logic, on the other hand, his arm retreated by itself because he was only here to comfort, not to reassure. And bound by the foolishness that was called the never-learning vulnerable heart, Tooru found himself in the middle of heaven and hell as he sighs. “Believe it or not, Princess, but I do care,” was his confession, though before you could ponder too much about it, the Prince was already hogging the scotch. “Implausible, is it not? But I do not blame you for it. I know I seem unable to care about others when I hate my own wife, even if she has been nothing but an angel to me.”
“So you know Princess Maiko adores you. Why do you not treat her with the same kindness, then?”
Princess Maiko again. It always had to circle back to her.
“She annoys me. She clings to me like an obsessed leech and demands affection when she knows I have no interest in reciprocating it,” he scoffed, “It is for her own good, though. There is no point to fool herself we can be happy together when I never wanted to be married. It is better to break her heart from the beginning than be sweet to her and get her hopes up.” The Prince held no room for argument. Palms leaning back on the grass, he extends his leg and crosses them as he glares at the sky like the darkness caused all this trouble. “No idea what anybody told you, but Princess Maiko and I were not married under the Queen’s choice. It was Maiko’s.”
“Princess Maiko...proposed to you?”
“Something like that. Maiko is a year younger than me, and naturally, since our families had close connections to each other, I grew up treating her like my little sister. She was always clumsy and stupid that I feared she’d get into trouble if not properly watched over. Little did I know that my concern for her would grow into being lovesick, and next thing I know, she is begging with the Queen to marry me. One thing led to another, the Queen saw potential in our union, and now here we are.”
“You make it sound like you had no choice in this, yet you still let her walk down that aisle. Are you sure you are not just using the Queen as an excuse?”
“If I did not marry Maiko, the Queen would have kicked me out the palace.”
“That is legal?”
Tooru wore a face that said beats me. “When there are too many Princes in a patriarchal monarchy, there will be hierarchy among our worth. The First Prince is already worthy to remain in the family as the eldest heir, and then Rintaro is the only child of the King and Queen. Prince Shinsuke will never have to worry about not being Prince when his mother plays a large role in the Kingdom as one of their best lawyers. The twins, too, come from a wealthy mother whose chain of businesses greatly benefits the palace. The youngest, Prince Tobio, is naturally adored by everybody else. He is given everything without having to ask for it. But the rest of us? We have to fight for our place in the dinner table. My clan is not exactly on good terms with the royal family, either.”
“But did you not say you did not care about being Prince?”
“I don’t. The duties of a Prince wears me out and I hate having to put on a facade all the time, but I have no place where I belong in,” his voice grew somber, the tips of his ears tinting red at the realization he was actually being vulnerable to someone who wasn’t his brother. Hell, he didn’t even trust his brothers anymore the night titles mattered more than familial bond, yet here he was. “My mother... her family does not accept me because she was a married woman who had me after having an affair with the King, and the King never looked at me once when I was born. He merely had me to establish ties with the Oikawa Clan, but when he realized my maternal grandparents barely recognized me as their own, I was useless to him. So as much as I despise being a Prince, it is the only way I can actually live. If not for my title, I would have already been sent to the streets.”
Tooru was quietly begging whatever gods looked down on him that you wouldn’t look at him with pity. The last thing he wanted was to be pitiful.
Sneaking a glance after a split second decision dissolved his worries, because you were far from seeing him as less. No, you glanced at him more out of curiosity. Like if he allowed you to give it more thought, you could magically have a solution. “Then...if you are not that important to them despite being an heir to one of three founding clans, why could Prince Kiyoomi not be important, as well? He is the Second Prince. Is that why he married Princess Iris—to ensure his title of a Prince?”
“Nobody knows why Iris and Kiyoomi got married, and neither will anyone of them talk about it. None of us were even invited to their wedding. We just woke up the next day and found out our brother had gotten married with minimal preparations, but it was all over the news. The Kingdom ate their marriage and claimed it to be a firmer peace treaty over Inarizaki and Itachiyama.”
You hid a sniffle.
“...How long has Prince Suna and Princess Iris been together?”
Tooru believed it was best you knew less. But the look on your face begged, pleaded to have that certain itch scratched that Tooru had to give in. “They met when they were in high school,” he supplied, albeit hesitantly, “Iris was a scholar of the royal family as her mother was a loyal follower of the Queen despite being born in Itachiyama, and Iris was an intelligent girl. They hit it off ever since, but drifted apart due to obvious reasons. Then they met again right after the wedding, and have been inseparable ever since.”
God. He really shouldn’t have said it. He had barely finished speaking before you pulled your knees up to your chest, head buried between your legs and sobs stifled in the eerie silence. “Oh my god. I look like a fool, don’t I? They’ve known each other forever.”
“None of this was your fault, Princess. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
“It was my fault, though. I-I knew all this time,” you were full on sobbing by now. “I found out the night we announced our engagement. Ever since that day, I knew whatever we had was never real, but I proceeded with the wedding anyway because I hoped he would still look at me the same way. D-Do you have any idea how much it hurts to learn that you were never loved in the first place?”
Your voice cracked with every sharp breath. Fingers lifting to dig into your scalp deep enough the skin turned raw, and Tooru was immediately peeling your hands away from yourself. “Princess, breathe. Do not hurt yourself—”
“It kills me, Your Highness. I have never felt this pathetic before.”
“Princess...”
“I can’t stop looking in the mirror and find a warped reflection of myself staring back,” you wail and flick his arm away, like the thought of being touched by someone else repulsive. “Every day, I see nothing but my flaws and insecurities and think, is this why he doesn’t love me? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not good enough? Will I never compare to Iris? I feel so horribly ugly and disgusted of my own skin.”
“Don’t think that. You’re beautiful.”
“His Highness said otherwise—”
“My brother is fucking stupid for taking you for granted. If you were mine, I would have never made you feel like you were not good enough.”
Your head slowly turns to face him, the previous sobs now dwindling into little sniffles, but Tooru was already looking away. Downing his wine before you could say anything else. Drinking fast enough his brain felt muddled and there was an ache forming at the back of his head, but anything. Anything to escape the prying eyes wet with tears as the confession settled into the air.
He either fucked it up, or started a new chapter along the way.
The sound of you crying harder again brought him no answer.
“I w-wish...he thought the same way.”
What did it all mean? This moment... when you looked at him now, clinging to whatever hope was left in your love struck heart. When you looked at him now, smile flattened upon the mutual understanding that maybe this was what it meant. Not quite friendship, not quite partnership, not quite acquaintances—but the gentle promise that when the castle and its burdens grew too suffocating, you would have the Fifth Prince to run to out of the thousand others living under the grand halls of royalty. And if you had even the slightest inkling that perhaps Tooru might be growing too warm in a cold night, he was comforted enough by the fact you and him were as impossible as him and his wife.
Whatever attraction he held for you simply had to die. Whatever happened tonight stays within this spot closest to the stars in a quiet town called Greenville.
“Let him go,” was all Tooru could offer before his hand covered yours—that silly smile returning on his face again as if to say the pain would pass. “He’s stupid, anyway.”
“Right.” Finally, fucking finally, you smile brighter than he ever could. “He is stupid.”
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“What the fuck were you doing with my wife?”
No good thing ever lasted. It was a fact Tooru learned the hard way, and had to relearn once more when he brought you back ‘home.’ After an hour and a half more of sharing jokes that slowly, the both of you were forming your own secret language Rintaro would not be a part of, you decided to loosen up a bit and steal the rest of his drink. Well, he brought it for you, but he didn’t quite expect you to rummage around his own hidden stash in the car of flasks, only to be giggling and practically dead weight in his arms later on.
It was good until it lasted.
It was good until he showed up. Tooru hadn’t stopped scowling since your husband bundled you in his jacket and held you like you were a fragile woman in need of care. Sure, you could be, but if Rintaro knew it all along, why hadn’t he been more careful since the beginning? Tooru hated inconsistency. Hated lying out of everything—all of the traits his younger brother was an expert of.
It was absolutely revolting how he immediately took on the role of a concerned husband and carried you to bed when you passed out in his arms—like he hadn’t been the reason you felt the need to drink yourself to such a state.
“Only what you should have done.”
Rintaro grabbed him by the collar, their eyes levelled but neither giving in. “Don’t mess with me, Tooru. You think I don’t know what you’re doing, huh? Making my wife warm up to you so you can mess up everything I worked hard for?”
“I didn’t do shit. You ruined everything by yourself and you know it.”
“You still had no business going after her like that.”
“Are you fuckin’ serious?” gritting his teeth, Tooru shoved Rin back hard enough his back hit the doorframe. Although the impact didn’t cause too much of a sound, he still glanced your way to see if you had awoken before lowering his voice. “Your wife cried for hours. She could barely breathe well from how overwhelmed she is, and what were you doing? Oh, that’s right. Fucking your mistress while your wife wondered over and over again just what made her so unworthy of love in your eyes. It’s actually pathetic that such an amazing woman would shed these much tears over a man who can’t even tell her the truth about his malicious nature!”
Rintaro snickered, and it took all of Tooru’s patience to not punch his brother.
“Since when have you cared about the Princess?”
“Maybe we all do, Rintaro! Maybe every single one of us is tired that you and your mother are the exact same—you do nothing but manipulate people for your own gain and then wonder why your lives are so miserable! Your wife loves you, Rin. She would forgive you at the blink of an eye but it does not give you the right to abuse her kindness.”
“That is hypocritical coming from you. You talk as if you do not neglect your wife and leave her crying, too.”
“Maiko, Maiko, it’s always about stupid, fucking Maiko!” he fumed, “Don’t fucking pit me with you, asshole. You courted Princess Y/N for two years and had no intention of coming clean about your sins. Everybody knows I never wanted this marriage. It was Maiko who bound me with these shackles because she was obsessed with me!”
Rintaro was at a loss of words.
He, too, knew that in some way, Tooru had been better. Tooru had always been consistent over his disapproval of the marriage, and had no choice but to accept it in order to survive the harsh environment of the palace. But did Rintaro care?
Obviously not.
“Go back home. I don’t need you here.”
Tooru scoffed. “If it brings you any comfort—” with his back turned to his brother, he glared at him one last time on the way out. “I didn’t come here of my own volition. It was Maiko who requested me to go. Nobody’s out here stealing who isn’t theirs.” An excuse, a valid reason, a half truth—call it what you wanted. Tooru wasn’t sure himself either which one of it he truly meant when he could still smell your perfume all over him on the drive back to the manor.
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At one point in your life, you became a Princess before you married a Prince.
It happened that one fateful night. Where elites, nobles, royals, and all the important figures in the world gathered in a grandiose castle in celebration of a Prince’s eighteenth birthday. Naturally, as the daughter of two of the trusted followers of the throne, you had been invited. You could still picture it all clearly—the weeks ahead of preparation despite being a guest who would most likely befriend the shadows and be accompanied by the walls until the party ended. Still, your mother insisted you be dressed to the nines. Calling out for the best dressmakers to travel to Inarizaki with the sole purpose of transforming you into—as what your mother called —“a butterfly who attracted attention, but would be out of reach.”
You were close to telling your mother she would return home from the party disappointed. Unless she could accept you were more of a moth who clung to the unknown corners.
Not that you thought lowly of yourself, but you preferred the term... realistic. Yes, realistic was what you were. You simply accepted the fact you weren’t the prettiest, the most sociable, nor the most interesting woman to ever be attending these balls. Perhaps only slightly above average all thanks to the respectable status and money you were born with, but otherwise not as dreamy as your mother painted you out to be.
See, you weren’t the best dancer. Your mother had given up halfway into dancing classes once she realized you were a lost cause. Little did the both of you know, that from that night onwards, the young woman who had two left feet would someday master the art of dancing all to impress a certain Prince who wouldn’t stop looking at her that night.
His name was Suna Rintaro—the Crown Prince by birth.
And you had caught his eye.
In fact, you must have captured his entire attention and bewitched his whole being that he was unable to take his eyes off of you and pushed through the crowd, all to ask for a dance.
You said yes. He said you made him the happiest man that night.
“Truly?” he echoed, as if a gorgeous Prince like him ever experienced his dance invitations rejected before. “You would dance with me?”
“It would be my pleasure, Your Highness. I...I am not great at dancing though,” you began to stutter, palms growing damp behind the lace gloves. “Perhaps you ought to find somebody better? I am uncertain I am the best choice to dance with tonight—”
“You are the best choice,” the Prince grinned, and your heart skipped a beat in awe at how someone could be effortlessly charming. You barely even noticed he was already leading you to the dance floor until you felt a hundred pair of eyes on you. All these people who bore more importance and held heavier money in their pockets witnessed how the Prince slid his warm hand above your waist then, his smile just as soothing as the little finger rubs to ease your nerves. “You are—” he leant closer, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “The only one who I want to share this dance with.”
 You awoke with a jolt, heart pounding a mile a minute as the memory replayed in your head. Like a film caught on tape, you could still hear the violins singing at the top of their lungs, the cello hitting deep notes that vibrated within your bones. You could still feel the warmth of the Prince’s touch as he danced the night away with you. How gentle he had been to walk you out the gardens just to shyly murmur how he found you beautiful.
Beautiful.
Until suddenly you were not—or more like, you had never been beautiful to him.
“My love,” a voice—one that used to be comforting but now only brought pain—broke you out of your reverie. “I prepared breakfast for you. We should go downstairs and eat.”
Your husband, Rintaro, sat at the edge of your bed with a pinched frown. As if he was worried. He had no right to be, yet somehow, there was still that voice at the back of your head rejoicing in delight. Because he came. He came to find you. You woke up with him, and sure, it didn’t erase yesterday’s events, but could it mean something? You so badly wanted to reach out to him when his hand snaked across the mattress to find yours. Offering you a small squeeze. Looking so concerned you would have believed it all over again.
How was it possible someone could be both your happiness and torment?
No! your inner voice screamed at you. Don’t let him get close.
Blinking back the tears you hadn’t noticed arrived, you kicked the blankets off of you and trudged to the bathroom when you felt bile rise from your throat. Right. Such great timing. You were pushing the toilet lid up the next second, knees scraping against the floor as you emptied your stomach. Your head pounded as you did so, and you winced, remembering just now how Prince Tooru had visited and you drank yourself to your limit.
Which, obviously, was a decision you regretted making.
“My love!” Rintaro was behind you in an instant. He rubbed your back, held your hair up as you retched a few more times, and whispered sweet nothings that did nothing but to intensify that sick feeling in your stomach. “How much did you drink? I was so worried for you, honey—”
You slapped his hand away.
“Don’t call me that.”
If Rintaro looked defeated, he hid it extremely well. “Please. I only worry for you,” he helped you up on your feet. Fortunately for him, you were too wobbly on your own legs to complain. You quietly let him sit you on the closed toilet and sat down before you, his knees brushing against your bare feet and his handsome face deceitfully worn. “Listen...we can talk about it later, alright? You need to eat first before you get even more sick.”
“You are concerned over my well-being?”
“I am—”
“It did not feel like that yesterday.”
“Please. Let’s stop fighting.” How rare for the Crown Prince to beg, much say please more than once in a row. Wasn’t he too prideful for that?
As much as you basked in how this man was now on his knees for you, you didn’t trust yourself to not give in to whatever he asked of you. True as it was that it hurt, love didn’t disappear in a night. It wasn’t that easy to un-love someone you planned your whole life with. Of course, going back to that same hellish place he put you in would truly paint you the ignoramus, but you currently didn’t have the power to say no to him just yet. It was two years of being wired to please him at all costs. And it would take more than that to unlearn all the habits you’d formed just to align with who he wanted you to be.
But things would change now. It would no longer be the same, and you could only hope the next chapters of your life would bring about a better change.
Today marked the beginning of you detaching from your husband.
Pushing past him, you walked out with clenched fists. You would not cry in front of him now. You would not let him feel the satisfaction of how perfectly he’d executed his plan of wrapping himself around your finger until the end crashed you both. You would not let him see that you still loved him, still craved him, still fucking wished he would be genuine in comforting you and not because he had to keep you as his pliant wife.
No matter how hard it was, you needed to turn your back on him from now.
“Wait,” he grabbed you by the wrist, and you nearly collapsed on the spot from how much you yearned for his touch. “Where did you get this?”
He was pertaining to the scratches on your palm. The ones you got when he rudely pushed you off. “It’s nothing,” was all you supplied, however, because he didn’t need to know. Rintaro would feel guilty and just feed you honey-like words to thaw the ice in your heart. Soon, you would be putty in his arms again if you weren’t careful enough. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Of course I worry.” He said it like this should be obvious to you by now, and you scoffed.
“Why? Because I’m not the perfect Princess you want me to be anymore now that I have wounds?”
Rintaro’s lips puckered out. “Because I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“You hurt me yesterday. Funny how fast your feelings change in the span of a night, no?” you grabbed your wrist before crossing your arms against your chest. “Is this how you always were? Kind one moment, ruthless the next? You put on so many faces and tell too many lies that I have no idea who I am talking to right now. So tell me—are you my husband who promised to take care of me and cherish me until death do us part, or are you the greedy Prince who manipulated me into marrying him?”
Rintaro does not respond. Instead, he manoeuvred around the cramped space of your bathroom and reaches for the first-aid kit on the top shelf. Your husband slowly unrolls the bandages before he takes your hand in his, touch butterfly like that you wondered if he was the same man who had been aggressive yesterday. Still, you waited with baited breath, unable to stop yourself from staring at him. And blessed he was with those hazel eyes who’d seen every ugly part of you yet stayed with you anyway—whether it was out of need or he actually cared sometimes to not mind—and that soft tuft of hair you loved running your hands to. Those lips who recited empty vows and kissed you like he meant it. That voice that made your legs quiver countless nights and now, these hands wrapping the bandages around your blistered palm with patience and grace you knew you had fallen in love with.
Tears sprung once again. Chest squeezing uncomfortably as you realized you still were, and still would, be hopelessly in love with Suna Rintaro. Heart shattering all over again when you began to accept your heart would be a chamber that hung him like an oil painting that never aged through the years. How your love would remain frozen in time along with his smiles, and you loved him so much you sometimes forget he did not love you at all.
He had someone else in his heart when yours cried out no one else’s name but his.
“Why her?” you croak out weakly, nursing your bandaged palm to your chest as you leant against the wall. Feeling your knees weaken little by little. “What does she have that I do not? Why did you love her...but not me?”
“I do not want to talk about it.”
“Why her, Rintaro?”
It was the first time you called him by his first name. The shock is apparent on his face, but Rintaro opted to shake his head before wrapping an arm around your waist. “We should eat first. Then, I will you tell everything.”
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Breakfast, while not entirely comfortable, wasn’t as terrible as you expected it to be. It was difficult to stay mad at him when you were greeted by the staff who wouldn’t stop gushing about how your husband stayed up the entire night to cook for you. The said man only blushed in response, seemingly embarrassed and continuously apologizing for the mess he made in the kitchen.
Now, if Rintaro was on a mission to mess with your heart even more, it definitely worked.
All your anger dissipated as you ate the rice soup. The breakfast wasn’t anything flashy, but it contained everything you needed after a hungover. Bananas, some sliced apples, a light soup and some ginger tea to help ease your nausea. Such simple food, yet seeing as how Rintaro grew up with a silver spoon and never had to cook anything in his life before, your husband took multiple attempts to perfect the soup into a plausible taste. Not that you would ever tell him since compliments seemed far and beyond in this already failing marriage. But... you supposed, you could give him some credit. You appreciated the effort, and thanked the staff generously before you both decided to just walk back home and talk.
Greeting people as you go, your husband kept trying to hold your hand. For appearance’s sake, or because he simply wanted to have you close, you didn’t ask anymore. You shoved your hands deep into your pockets and led him into a field of dandelions—one of your favourite places as a child. The bright yellows mixing in with the lush green, along with the fresh breeze, and it would have been picture perfect.
You always wanted to visit here with Rintaro. Tell him some childhood stories. It was something you had been dreaming of around the third month of your relationship, but now that you were here standing next to your husband, you didn’t quite feel the same elation.
“This place is beautiful,” he cut the silence and faces you with a soft smile. “Imagine one day, our kids would run here with us—”
“Why are you doing this to me, Your Highness? Do you take pleasure in my suffering?”
“Princess, I—” he sighed, “Let me explain.”
“Go ahead. Tell me everything from the start and I might be kind enough to understand where you come from.”
And tell you, he did. He told you everything. From how they met, to how he had always felt this ‘pull’ with her and smiled to himself dreamily because gravity pulled him to her; they had this magnetic force that they couldn’t stay away from each other. He told you about the dreams he shared with her. The plans they made. He listed down every little thing he loved about her and remained unaware that you stood there furiously blinking back tears, because you were the wife, and you had never felt so unloved at the face of someone who proclaimed his undying affection for a woman who was not his. He reminisced about how it all went downhill when Iris married Kiyoomi, how they were so lonely that they just found home in each other. He couldn’t help it, he said, I just knew I needed to do everything to make her mine.
We were meant for each other.
And you? Who were you meant for? Perhaps, you were destined for this sick, twisted fate where you felt like the outsider, the third party, the side character, in a story that was supposed to be yours? He looked so in love. And you knew, because you mirrored everything he felt about her. You knew because you looked the same way as he does now when you were in love, and it’s not you—it’s never going to be you. It was never supposed to be you. All you could do was smile bitterly when your husband uttered her name like she had cast a spell on him. Pretending with whatever strength you had left in you to be fine.
“You love her that much you were willing to sacrifice me for it?”
“...I—”
“Did you ever think about how this would make me feel? How-How I welcomed you into my home and told you about my deepest fears and-and none of that had been real? Was there a single moment where you stopped to think maybe you were hurting someone else all because you wanted to be with the woman you want?”
“I never wanted to hurt you.”
“But that is the thing, Your Highness, you already did. You cannot undo what has been done.”
“I know that,” Rintaro stepped forward, only to be greeted by you keeping the distance bigger. The crestfallen look on his face nearly made you feel bad. “I do not expect forgiveness from you, Your Highness. Absolutely not. But if we could compromise on something—”
“What would we compromise on?” you laughed without a trace of humour, “I love you. I married you because I love you, I care about you, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. You married me out of greed. You still wish to proceed with your plans which shows you truly do not care about me, so tell me, what is there to compromise about? I want my husband more than anything else, but that is the one thing you cannot give me.”
Rintaro shook his head. “No, no. I am still yours, Princess. Iris is not my wife, you are. You are the one who I will wake up to every morning, the one I will spend the rest of my life with. We can still do the things you wish for. Iris, she... she is not a selfish woman. She has always been kind enough to let me be with you for the greater good—”
You raised a palm in front of his face.
“Please stop talking.”
Was he defeated? No. Rintaro needed more than this blatant rejection of yours. If he had been that weak or gave up any easily, then he wouldn’t get where he was right now. But at this moment, you could have sworn he meant it when his shoulders fell and called out your name.
“Had we met earlier, I would have loved you first.”
“That just hurts me more.”
“I was, and am genuinely happy with you, my wife,” he reassured, but it didn’t stop making you cry. It didn’t ease the pain as Rintaro slowly encaged you in his embrace. Your tears staining his shirt and fists crumpling the material as you felt yourself die little by little. “Shh, Princess. Not a part of me regrets reciting my vows to you on that day in front of the entire kingdom. Believe it or not, but I adore you. I love listening to your stories and hearing you laugh, and-and you are kind. You are strong. You are an extremely beautiful and loving woman that I am the luckiest man in the world to have been your husband.”
“But you do not love me,” you cried harder, “You will never look at me the way you look at her.” When the Prince remained silent, so did you. He didn’t deny it this time—how you would never receive the same treatment as Iris. That fact alone had you pulling back to stare at your husband’s eyes.
“Does she make you happier than I do, Your Highness?”
Ignorance was bliss, indeed. If only you could turn back time and undo this moment where you stopped curiosity from getting the best of you, perhaps you would not be twice as heartbroken when Rintaro nodded. No hesitation in his features. Just pure love, and an ounce of regret and guilt from the way you slowly crumbled before him.
“Yes, she does. The Princess is my entire universe. I would be utterly devastated and lost without her.”
It felt as if the wind had been knocked out of your body. It became a challenge to speak, to feel the tips of your fingers as you stepped back one time, two time, three times until the distance was just as big as the hole he punctured through your heart. Now, you had enough. You had reached your limit, learned your lesson, been humbled to your place—and Rintaro had no intention of taking his words back.
He meant it.
He would lose himself if Iris disappeared from his life.
With that, you had no choice but to force a smile. “I understand,” you declared, wiping your pathetic tears because it hadn’t been an hour since you promised you would be stronger now. But luck was never on your side, and you still kept tripping and wounding yourself.  “I...I would like to return to the castle, Your Highness. There is no need to extend this trip any longer than it should be.”
“We don’t need to return right away, Princess. There are still plenty of things we can do—”
“Please refrain from sharing any activities with me from now on unless it is bound by duty. No eyes are looking, so you have no responsibilities with me right now,” you sent him a pointed gaze. “I wish to return to the city, and that is final. Do not question my decisions as I will not interfere with yours.”
Rintaro’s lips flattened into a thin line. You couldn’t bear yourself to look at him anymore, so you walked away from him, salty tears cascading down your cheeks, and the wedding ring heavier than the weight in your heart.
From today onwards, you might not recognize yourself anymore.
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None of the Princes and their wives questioned the sudden return to Inarizaki Palace.
When they saw you and Rintaro walk in with gloom faces, everyone shuffled to their feet and quickly packed their things. No words or explanations needed. This honeymoon had already ended on a sour note, and now it was time to return to the reality of royal obligations and duties. Duties such as keeping a fake smile plastered at all times when the supportive citizens of Inarizaki waved and cheered at the couples’ arrival. Atrocious obligations such as letting your husband place a possessive hand at the small of your back when the rest of his brothers welcomed you into the lobby, the youngest Prince bouncing at his feet at the sight of you.
“Back so soon, sister? Did you guys enjoy?”
You shared a quick, affectionate glance with Rintaro. “We did. I had the time of my life, but I thought it unnecessary to dilly-dally around in my hometown when royal duties await us all.”
“As expected of my sister. You are always so adept,” praised the marvelled Prince Tobio who had taken himself to looping himself to your arm. It left Rintaro awkwardly following behind as you were guided to your shared chambers, but you weren’t complaining. The youngest Prince was lively and brightened up your bitter days. “Say, would you mind taking me to Greenville someday when we are both free? I heard you had the loveliest manor there.”
“It would be my honour, Your Highness.”
“Please,” he beamed, and instantly, you were given a reason to endure this hell even longer. “Call me brother, we are family now. But ah, it is night time! I should let the both of you rest. Take good care of her, brother!”
Rintaro offered a nod. The both of you waited as Prince Tobio left the room in high spirits when the uncomfortable silence stretched, leaving you to scurry changing into your sleepwear in opt of avoiding your husband’s gaze. Once done, you let your hands roam over the cream pillars surrounding the edges of your king sized bed with a robin egg blue and gold palette. A golden chandelier with diamonds hung from the ceiling above the bed, the bed post textured with coral shaped indents. The same shade of blue hung from the windows. A large television right across the bed with a cream coloured cabinet lined with gold outlines—a perfect room for a man who would be sleeping by himself. Who, by the way, was already comfortably settled into the left side of the bed with his arm propped behind his head.
“Where are you headed?”
“Outside?”
“In your nightgown? Absolutely not.”
“In the drawing room, my Prince. I am not stepping out of our quarters dressed like this.”
“But it is time for bed.”
“Indeed, and I do not wish to share one with you when you and your mistress must have rolled around in it already. Good night, Your Highness,” you sent him a preppy smile, bowing deep before shutting the doors shut. A baffled Rintaro about to leave his bed the last thing you saw.
Hearing the doors close behind you, you practically crashed into the couch. You were beyond exhausted and your head still pounded from your endless crying—it was now time for a good night’s sleep. Not that it would be good, no matter how soft the cushion may be, because the palatial room did nothing but echo the loneliness residing in your heart.
Unbeknownst to you, Rintaro wouldn’t stop tossing and turning in his bed. The clock ticking got to his nerves until he was cracking open every book, tossing the television to random channels, and even swiping his fingers across the countertops to check for dust. He couldn’t sleep—not when his wife wasn’t beside him. This wasn’t how he pictured his marriage out to be; sleeping alone, with his wife intent on keeping her distance. Still, Rintaro thought, shouldn’t he be happy? You were not getting in his way. You were not particularly malicious to Iris on the way back home, or anytime after that, despite his confession that he knew wounded you. You simply ignored her existence, and now it was his turn.
Did you intend on pretending he wasn’t there too? Because Rintaro wasn’t having any of it. He would rather you hit him, scream at him, even call him a monster if it meant you looked at his way.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Rintaro walked to the doors and prepared himself to carry you back to bed when he heard it—the sounds of muffled cries and nearly inaudible whimpers.
He didn’t know why his mouth tasted sour and bitter at the same time.
Rintaro had no idea why he stepped away from the doors like what stood behind it scared him, and slowly returned to the bed. The door acted as a barrier between the two hearts who unknowingly kept themselves up and awake until the sun rose the next morning—Rintaro with a heavy chest of guilt, and your heart gradually losing the spark it once held for him.
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yenonnoff · 5 months
Text
r. suna (oneshot) — one last time
pairing: suna rintaro x reader
content: mild angst, established relationship/ex lovers
word count: 2.4k
synopsis: unable to sleep, you impulsively decide to call your ex-boyfriend, suna rintaro
a/n: my first one shot !! thank u to everyone who’ll be reading this (this is my first time writing for suna so forgive the potential ooc)
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“hello?”
the beeping ceased and a familiar voice came from the other side of your phone.
your breath hitched instantly—it’s been so long since you’ve heard his voice. slowly, you managed to respond, “hi, rin. it’s y/n.”
for a moment, a pause shifted between the two of you, neither one saying a word. you close your eyes in anticipation. perhaps you should’ve said more; perhaps you should’ve given a reason as to why you’d called him so unexpectedly, so spontaneously. you should’ve, but you didn’t.
on his end, you heard papers shuffling accompanied by the sound of a pencil dropping. he was doing homework even while it was past midnight—typical of him. you resisted a somber smile, memories of late night calls together flooding your mind.
rin’s voice cuts through the intolerable silence, something you were grateful for.
“oh, i thought i recognized the phone number,” he said.
his nonchalant tone pained you—his words hurt you even more. you knew the implications: he had deleted your phone number and had already moved on. as you squirm over your impulsive decision to call him, rin thinks nothing of it. clearly, you weren’t over him, and he knew that.
“why’d you call me, y/n?”
you almost didn’t respond, too distracted by his lulling voice saying your name.
“the chemistry professor wanted me to pass you a message. the final project isn’t due next week, it’s due at the end of the month. oh, and that you also left your notebook in his class,” you state hastily.
you had prepared precisely for how to reply in this exact situation. obviously you couldn’t call him out of nowhere—you needed an excuse. even while your mutual friends, osamu and atsumu, had warned you not to reach out, you still did. now you were going to find out whether it was worth it or not.
you heard rin release a soft breath, the sound of his squeaky chair accompanying it.
“so you called to tell me that?” he asked plainly. underneath his unperturbed tone, you sensed his confusion and mild curiosity.
when you didn't immediately respond, he continued, “you could’ve sent an email or a text message.”
you bite your lips—so that’s what he thinks of the current situation. of course you had thought about that before calling him. the fear of him seeing right through your excuse plagued your mind as you hovered over the call button. in the back of your mind, you knew you should’ve just emailed or texted him to relay the professor’s message. however, a part of you detested that idea. it reminded you of how you were just classmates now; just acquaintances with mutual friends; just strangers during passing period.
you exhaled heavily, mumbling something underneath your breath as your eyebrows furrowed with exhaustion. maybe you could be honest—was there really anything to lose? keeping your voice steady, you said, “i could’ve, but i just wanted to call you.”
for a while there was nothing but silence. you contemplated ending the call until rin asked, “is that so? or was it because you couldn’t sleep, y/n?”
closing your eyes again, you tugged your blanket closer to your body. he was correct—of course he was correct. you blame the sight of your empty bed; the sight of the neat, gray pillow that he would always hog; the sight of the uncluttered nightstand that he would constantly dump his belongings on, for your impulsive decision to call him. even now, you couldn’t sleep, haunted by the memories of him laying next to you.
your voice became quieter, your eyelids falling loose. “yes and no. you’re right, i couldn’t fall asleep and had wanted to call you, but i didn’t lie about the professor’s message or your notebook.”
“y/n,”—rin’s voice hasn’t changed ever since you’d called him—“do you want me to stay on call with you until you fall asleep? just one last time?”
you paused before replying, a bittersweet smile forming on your face. “yes, if you don’t mind.”
you hear rin pick up some papers and set them aside. you knew what came next: he would reach underneath his desk and pull out a folder containing his lyric sheets and guitar chords. pulling your knees closer to your chest, you couldn’t bear the suffocating nostalgia.
“are you still working on that new song?” you asked hesitantly.
humming in response, rin continued to scribble god knows what down on his paper. maybe they were lyrics or new ideas that had just popped into his head. even while the two of you were still in a relationship, you didn’t get the chance to ask him much about the song. as curiosity swirled around inside your mind, you found yourself in agonizing regret.
however, now you do have the chance to ask him. what genre is the song? what was the inspiration? you smiled to yourself, readjusting your position on the bed. you were filled with boundless inquiries that will never see the light of day—you made sure of it. it pained you, but you were okay with keeping your peace; after all, you didn’t want to remind him (and partly yourself) of the reason why you broke up. surely you’d discover the answers to your numerous questions after the song is released. it’d be easy: you’d just need to ask the internet and boom, you’d have your answers. still, it’s different when you’re asking him directly and hearing the answers from him, and only him.
biting the inside of your cheek, you close your eyes to the sound of rin tapping his fingers rhythmically against his desk, an old habit of his.
truthfully, the answer wasn’t very complicated: the two of you were just too different. it sounds simple, but underneath that was a challenge that even you two couldn’t overcome. your future profession requires you to be active, present in one location, while rin—an aspiring musician—plans on signing gigs and touring around the world. you loved him for that, and because of that love, you ended things with him.
you sucked in a breath.
maybe… rin also felt the same way. maybe he also loved your enthusiasm and passion, but wondered if his absence would hurt you. maybe that was why he had agreed to your breakup proposal without any ounce of doubt or hesitation. in that moment, you didn’t ask why he seemed so unbothered, you simply took your belongings and left. you should’ve asked—you really wanted to know.
when rin spoke, his voice startled your eyelids open. “have you been having trouble sleeping, y/n?”
there it was again, the sound of him saying your name. you blink away the memories, replying, “yeah. it’s just stress building up, that's all.”
before, it wasn’t so bad—you had rin after all, you would call him and he’d stay on the phone with you until you fell asleep. however, now it was different. you no longer have the comforting sound of his soft breathing lull you to sleep; you were stuck with the silence of your dorm room and the bitter aftertaste of loneliness.
still, you were going to be okay. you have to be okay—not only for yourself, but also for rin. you knew how he’d react if he discovered your numerous sleepless nights.
sitting up in your bed, your fingers traced shapes on top of your blanket. you weren’t going to fall asleep any time soon anyway.
randomly, you broke the silence, “the chemistry professor is really strict, isn’t he?”
you heard rin’s quiet voice from the other side of the phone. “yeah,” he said, “i definitely failed the presentation on friday.”
laughter seeped through your lips. you didn’t mean to, but you couldn’t deny that he did actually fail the presentation—it was the truth. catching your breath, you mused lightheartedly, “what did you expect from pairing up with atsumu?”
quietly, rin sighed—you could bet a fortune that he was currently furrowing his eyebrows. “the man was saying complete nonsense. the things he said weren’t even on the slides.”
you nodded, there was no denying that either. however, you had to give atsumu some credit for his public speaking skills. he may have received a zero in the informational section, but you were confident he aced the speaking and clarity portion with flying colors.
“maybe we should cut him some slack,” you said. “he did make the professor laugh a couple times with his jokes.”
“awful jokes you mean.”
you smiled. “extremely awful—but i’m pretty sure they helped both of you score some extra points.”
you heard rin relax in his seat, his chair squeaking with fatigue. “do you think i’d have a better chance at passing if i paired up with osamu instead?”
you groan almost instantly at the mention of your partner’s name. while dealing with osamu was 73% better than his blond haired, high maintenance twin brother, osamu was the one who contributed largely to your many sleepless nights.
“based on your groan, i’ll take that as a no,” rin remarked teasingly.
you heaved a sigh. how cruel he was for finding the situation entertaining… as you remembered all the nights where you stressed over the presentation with osamu mercilessly (and unhelpfully) watching you on facetime, you felt a cold shiver down your spine.
“hey,” rin said, his voice lacking any mirth from before. “i thought you did really well. your presentation was good, don’t worry about it.”
your shoulders relaxed and you whispered a quiet “thanks.” he really was cruel; was he even aware of how genuine and considerate he just sounded? probably not, he was like this during your relationship as well. one of the reasons you fell for him was because of how effortlessly caring he was—and it seems, still is.
after a while, you said, “well, positively speaking, osamu does his part well, i guess. he bought me a lot of food during that time too, so he’s not that bad, i guess.”
you heard another one of rin’s quiet chuckles. “you can’t compliment him and then end with ‘i guess,’ y/n.”
“why don’t you try complimenting atsumu then?” perhaps you sounded more irked than intended, but secretly, you were smiling with amusement.
there was a pause until rin eventually said, “that’s hard. he’s just an attention hogger.”
you grinned pleasingly. “that’s true. maybe that’s why he’s dragging me to that party tomorrow.”
“oh, that party? you’re going to it?”
a wave of unease washed over you and you reached to pull your blanket closer. you hummed in response, weary of where the conversation was headed.
“is that so? have fun then.” he said. “take care of yourself and wait before driving. i’m more worried about you than atsumu,” he added with a chuckle.
his voice had remained the same: nonchalant and rin-like—but this time, there were hints of tenderness in there. he really was cruel for catching you off guard like that.
“you aren’t going?” you asked.
“atsumu asked me to go, but i’m busy that day. i’m visiting the studio to finish up the song.”
your silence felt like an eternity, your words getting caught in your throat.
“are you worried about going? if anything goes wrong just call me,” he said as if it had been the easiest thing in the world.
now you really didn’t know what to say. he was so, so, so irritatingly cruel.
“thank you, rin. i’ll make sure atsumu doesn’t pass out and that we get back to the dorms safely.”
“no problem, i hope you have fun.”
you hummed, allowing silence to seep into the conversation. it was nice of him to say that, but deep down, the two of you both knew this was your last phone call together.
reaching towards your nightstand, you turned off your lamp. when you settled back into bed, you said plainly, “i should probably go to sleep now.”
you waited for him to respond, but all he said was a simple “yeah.”
“thanks for staying on call with me, i appreciate it.”
“don’t mention it.”
you smiled. “good night, rin.”
for the next couple of minutes you laid there silently, recalling the previous moments on call with him. you thought about all the laughter the two of you shared, along with all the remarks and silly comments exchanged throughout.
before, you wouldn’t have dared to call him or even speak of him, too sad to consider what it’d be like if you did. now, you wondered how your past self would react upon witnessing what you’d just done.
rin had spoken to you so kindly—so reassuringly. in reality, there was nothing for you to fuss about. to him, he was just glad to hear you’ve been doing well (minus a couple sleepless nights). it’s hard to say whether you’re friends again or not, but you were certainly more than acquaintances.
slowly, your eyelids felt heavier and you drifted off to sleep. you wondered how you’d feel in the morning: overwhelmed? energized? or would you still feel empty and stuck as if you were at a dead end? would there be a sense of accomplishment or disappointment at all the unanswered questions left after the call ended?
what was your relationship with him now?
that night you slept soundlessly, you didn’t even notice your alarm blaring at you to wake up in the morning. however, strangely you didn’t feel anything when you awoke—not even annoyance at your troublesome alarm. it was just another day, but with the exception of your friend atsumu dragging you to a party.
as you reluctantly got ready and returned to make your bed, you were reminded of your phone call with rin. what was your relationship with him? you hesitated to answer that question, freezing as you held your blanket in your hands. hastily, you tidied your sheets and rearranged your pillows.
did it really matter? all you could think about was how, regardless of being broken up, rin still cared for you enough to stay on the phone until you fell asleep. he wasn’t angry or defensive, he was just worried. what kind of relationship you had with him now didn’t matter—you and him care for one another and that’s all that matters.
a smile formed on your face and you got ready to meet up with atsumu. when you grabbed your shoes, your phone rang and you saw a familiar number.
you couldn’t help but burst into laughter. maybe you were excited to go to the party after all.
“sorry, ‘tsumu. i’m coming right now!”
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additional a/n: TYY for reading this 😘😘 i asked may @kqbukimono for advice on what u’d do if u called ur ex but she said he wouldn’t have done it in the first place such great help right 😬 (jk ily) + the title is inspired by the song one last time by summer salt !!
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taeyamayang · 2 months
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a stranger’s comfort
ꗃ 𓂃   𐂯◜。 🌐 𐑺 ֗ ִ ﹒ ꒰˘꒳˘๑꒱໒  
Character: Streamer!Kenma x fem!reader
Genre: good ol’ fluff with a sprinkle of angst | social media au | romance | strangers to ?? to ??? | i love akaashi MOVE
Status: On Going, might be 10-15 chapters long idk it depends
Synopsis: Kenma, a streamer you are a fan of, sends a message to a wrong number (you). From then on, you both find yourselves growing fond the anonymous person you have never met before.
a/n: some of the interface of fake twt and imessage might be inconsistent. for eg, later chapters might have japanese texts on the side-writing this story, before i had japanese as my phone’s language so sorry! but it doesnt affect the story or anything. also, i recently changed phones. i was a samsung user so some of the emojis might be inconsistent with the later chapters cos im using an iphone now! anyway, as i said any inconsistencies wont affect the story. just a quick heads up
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꒰˘꒳˘๑꒱໒  Character List
꒰˘꒳˘๑꒱໒ Chapter List
ָꗃ A Friend?
ָꗃ Bad Guy, Good Guy
ָꗃ Perfect Timing
ָꗃ Breaking Walls
ָꗃ The Irony of Us
ָꗃ Loosen Up!
ָꗃ Risk
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MASTERLIST | HQ MASTERLIST | buy me ☕️? 🥹
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lssugaluv · 6 months
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The way he asks you to marry him.
Fem reader x various Haikyuu characters.
• Haikyuu Headcanons.
• Small Stories + Headcanons.
• Contains: Fluff, bunch of it. How long you’ve been dating for, romance, sweetness, petnames, high school to adult romance.(most of them.)
• Characters: Ushijima, Kuroo, Sugawara, Atsumu, & Suna.
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Sugawara;
You and Suga have been dating for 4 years now. You began dating on your third year of high school.
You were the girl of his dreams. When he had finally gained the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, after having the biggest crush on you since your first year, he felt like he was about to pass out.
Those nerves came again when he asked you to meet him at your favorite garden in Kokedera, Kyoto. It was just the two of you, he wanted the proposal to be as intimate as can be.
He asked you to come in a cute flowy white dress he bought for you. He wore a loose white dress shirt with kacky pants and white slip on vans.
When he saw you arrive, he swore you were an Angel sent from heaven. Gorgeous as ever. Today you were just extra gorgeous to him.
At first you had no idea why he asked you to come dressed up to the garden but you didn’t question him. Once you arrived and saw him playing with his fingers and slightly flushed from his cheeks, you knew something was up.
He went ahead and grabbed both of your hands and yelled “I LOVE YOU.”
You giggle and tell him you love him as well.
“P..PL..PLEASE BE MY WIFE!”
You open your eyes wide and grow the biggest smile you can possibly have. “Baby, you don’t need to yell.” You say as you giggle. You reach in to kiss his soft lips and place your forehead on his, eyes closed. “I would love to be your wife.” As you both give each other the biggest bear hug.
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Ushijima;
You and Ushijima have been dating for 3 years now.
You two met in middle school due to your family moving to Sendai and being neighbors with Ushijima. You guys will unintentionally walk to school together and back home.
In high school, you guys will hardly talk but he had always though you were very pretty. He loved how naturally beautiful you were and how happy you seem to be. He got to know after you two graduated Shiratorizawa. You both went to the same college and pursued your dream careers.
The way he asked to marry you was by taking you to the pathway to Shiratorizawa. Compared to your middle school walk, the high school was a bit further from your homes.
You guys will have to pass through a river path everyday and gorgeous greenery.
You two were walking in silence hand in hand. He always loved how your small hand fit perfectly with his huge hand. He loved how the soft wind will blow your hair and he was able to see your beautiful side view and features. He loved how every step he’ll take, you’ll try to keep up with him.
You two finally arrived to the River pathway and he had asked you to take a seat on the grass with him. You two enjoy the nature and the sounds of the river currents. Despite your now busy lives, he always enjoyed this peace with you. With no one around but just the two of you.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you Y/N.”
You gently smile and rest your head on his shoulder , rubbing your hand up and down his forearm.
“I do too Toshi.”
He moves in front of you, blocking the view of the river, which you didn’t mind at all. He’s the view you love to see.
“Please marry me.” He says as he opens a small dark blue cube box with a simple silver band in the box.
You couldn’t help but not hold back your tears and nod your head as in yes. You stick your hand out and he places the small engagement band around your small finger. “I love you” you say as you give him the most sweetest kiss.
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Suna;
You and Suna have been best friends since elementary.
You two began to actually date on your first year of high school. You have been his high school sweetheart, his biggest supporter, his best friend, his everything since day one. He knew one day he will marry you. And the day to ask the big question has came at last.
Suna has always been one to keep to himself but when it came to the two of you being alone, man was he attached to you. He always shows his true colors when only being with you. He is crazy in love with you.
The way he asks to marry you is by asking you to come over to his apartment and making dinner together.
You came dressed in a nice light pink corset top with light washed jeans and low white heels. You always loved to get dolled up for him even when he said he preferred you in his sweater and sweatpants.
He was dressed casual, a black polo shirt and some jeans, and shoes, well he had slippers on because he was inside his apartment.
You guys decide to go with chicken Alfredo pasta since today’s date night dinner was Italian. You guys always will meet up during your busy weeks, or FaceTime when he was out of the country or town due to tournaments. You will always play “Spin the Wheel” using your phone and typing which country you guys should do date night with.
Since it was Italian night, you guys made homemade pasta, got store bought Gelato, and decided to watch “Letters To Juliet.” He knew how much you love romance movies, so he always let you choose the movies.
Meanwhile you guys were eating, you noticed he was eating slower than usual. Which you grew to worry because the food was very delicious. “Rin Rin, is everything okay?” He picked up that he was overthinking and quickly stuffed pasta in his mouth. “Yes princess. The food is delicious.” He says with a mouthful.
When you cleaned up after eating and served the gelato, you meet him at the couch with the movie ready to play on Netflix. You notice that he was on his phone, which was a rule that when on date night, no phones allowed. You stopped the movie to ask him what was wrong again.
He assures you nothing is wrong and told you to play the movie. You then notice he once again is focused of his phone when you pull the phone away from his hands. He freezes when you gasped after you read what was on the Google search.
“ How to surprise girlfriend with a proposal?”
After you finished reading, you saw he was right in front of you, both knees on the ground and one small white box on your thigh. “I panicked and didn’t know how to surprise you. But I want you to be with me forever more. Sorry you had to find out through Google Y/N.”
You place the white box on the side of the couch and literally jump on him, both of your bodies dropping to the ground. You begin to give him a billions of kisses all over his face, with the biggest smile on your face. “A millions times yes Rintarou.”
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Kuroo;
As he’s pacing back and forth in Kenma’s room, he finally got an idea. “I know where! I can propose to Y/N at the beach.” He says as he grabs on to his best friends shoulders, blocking his game.
Kenma moves his head to the side to get a view of his game. “I already told you that idea.”
You and Kuroo have been dating for 2 years. You guys met at work in the office. You guys actually met at the beach. It was frustrating day for him, and he loves to cool off at the beach. You had gone that day because you were supposed to go on a date, just for the guy to stood you up. You knew of one another at work but never actually spoken until that day.
He had saw you walking alone by the waves, barefoot while you were holding your heels. It was freezing that day, which he thought you were insane walking barefoot. He walks toward you when he saw you were wiping your tears and standing in front of the ocean.
“Y/N, are you okay?” You turn to face the tall man and completely ball out crying. He invited you to eat ramen after your cried it out and took you home. He waited in the living room until you showered and had made tea for you. He then had left once he saw you fully asleep, and left a note on your nightstand giving you his number.
You meet him at the beach and you see he is standing right in front of the ocean. You silently walk toward him and stand next to him, taking in the ocean breeze. “Remember two years ago when I met you at this exact spot? You were crying for some asshole meanwhile I was having a work meltdown.” He still hadn’t made any eye contact with you but continued. “I remember thinking how pretty you looked crying and wondered to myself, man, if only a girl can cry for me.”
He takes your hand and placed a small diamond ring on your left ring finger. “Let me be the one to wipe your tears on the altar when we’re getting married. I love you, always and forever. Thank you for being my everything.”
You begin to cry after staring at the tiny rock for a good 5 minutes. He gently picks up your face with his two huge hands, wiping your happy tears with his thumbs. “Yes Tetsu. Yes.”
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Atsumu;
You and Atsumu have been dating for 5 years. You began to date during your second year of high school. Everyone who knew you and Atsumu gave you 1 week for you to break up with him. They always knew Atsumu to be the dumb volleyball nerd meanwhile you were a smart straight A student. You both were pretty popular, but people thought you were too much for Atsumu.
Atsumu has always been loud, obnoxious, and sometimes an airhead. But boy did he love you. He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you as soon as you had surprised him at one of his volleyball games. “She’s the one.” He said nice and proud to his teammates that day at the locker rooms.
During the nationals, he went out of the country and had invited you with him. It was pretty tough for you to leave due to your university schedule but you had managed to make it. You were wearing his jersey that day, cheering loud and proud for your MSBY superstar.
You hear the bell and call it game and they had won. From there , some people were leaving and you were so excited to see Atsumu to congratulate him and the team. From there, you see yourself on the jumbo screen confused. You look down at Atsumu and look back up at the jumbo screen to see Atsumu on one knee with the screen saying “Marry me baby.” The screen once again goes back to you with tears running down your face and the rest of the crowd cheering loudly.
Bokuto had ran to go get you and grabs your hand and you both run to the court. Once you guys get to the doors of the entrance of the courts, Bokuto stops and leaves you on your own. You charged towards Atsumu, jumping on him and clinging on him. You gave him a huge kiss and said “I would love to marry you Atsumu.” He then pulls your head towards him and gives you three huge kisses, carrying you meanwhile the crowd roars again and all cameras on you both.
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After thoughts:
• Hey y’all. Coming back to you with some fluff because why not? And Haikyuuuu head canons are my fav. I just got married through the court. So of course love is in the air and I wanted to write about proposing.
• Not Proofread. :/
• Please enjoy, like, comment & Reblog.
• Please do not copy my work. <3
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ninapi · 6 months
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○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●
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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Suna Version ╝
Premise: Being the first born of the most prominent house in the village, it was a pressing matter for Suna to deliver as future head of his clan. High expectations were set for him which sent him your way, only for him to realize you were all he really needed.
Word Count: 3203
Chapter 1: Defensive
Rin was a simple man; complicated things weren’t his favorite and he was usually against them by all means.
When it was agreed you would be spending your time in the ‘Suna Inn’ instead of the Miya household, Rin thought this would give him the upper hand in the game, that spending time with his family would sway you over to his side and possibly win the right to your hand, but in all truth, he wasn’t really thinking of what all of that even entailed.
At first, all he wanted was to impress and make you feel comfortable enough, you’ve had gone through a lot lately, the realization that the cure to your disease wasn’t as easy to obtain was also a hard blow on your face, so all he could do for the time being was to make you feel at home.
Or that’s what he thought a good husband would do, and apparently he wanted you to believe he would one day be just that.
He wasn’t wrong though.
The room he gave you wasn’t big or full of luxuries, it wasn’t a castle of any sort but a family owned inn and that could be felt clearly in the air.
You got your own brand new comfy futon, a small coffee table with a tea set and a little closet full with kimonos and all possible accessories to match them with. But not only that, there was also a uniform that matched the one used by everyone around the Inn, one with your name tag on it and a silent promise of a normal life hanging from your closet.
You weren’t forced to work, but Rin thought you’d eventually get bored if you had nothing to do and wanted to make you understand you were no prisoner of his, you could make yourself useful whenever you felt like it and you would get monetary compensation if you did want to work; but you were also welcomed to stay in your room and rest for as long as you wanted; a roof over your head and warm meals always there for you no matter what your decision was.
And rest you did, but for a couple of days only though. 
Once you were fully recovered, you were seen wearing the lovely uniform Rin laid for you in no time. 
You’ve never worked in the industry before and had no idea what needed to be done, but Rin caught you bright and early hiding behind a wall as you tried to understand what everyone was doing and how could you help them with their tasks.
Surprisingly, the sight of you so immersed in the learning process, earned a rare smile from the sly fox’s handsome face.
It was cute, the way your tiny hands held onto the side of the wall while peeking at the elders cleaning the floors. The way you would take notes in a little notepad you found in your room. The way the uniform fit so prettily snugged in every single one of your curves, how the colors accentuated your features, how beautifully you fitted into the overall picture of his family business and home. 
It wasn’t as bad as he thought it would, having you around.
You hadn’t complained once about anything, did your own bed, fetched your own meals, even if you were still weak and needed rest, you were never a bother to any. On the contrary, since your arrival things had been brighter.
His mother for instance, was thrilled. Having another girl around or as she said with her own words ‘having another daughter to dot on’ was making her glow with excitement.
Her actual daughter is still pretty young and the things they can do together are quite limited, but you, being closer to Rin in age, (physically at least if we ignore the fact that he is over two hundred years old), allowed her to indulge in some other womanly practices. She started by sharing bath time with you wanting you to feel comfortable in the open air baths, then it escalated when she helped you get into your kimono, dried your hair, styled it and even stayed in your room after hours simply chatting over a cup of tea.
It was like having a friend, having a brand new daughter was more than excilerating, it was a dream. Rin being Rin, she always thought he’d never be able to find a suitable match, and the fact that you were a human was already not ideal, but after getting to know you, she was more than certain she wanted you to be part of her family.
Her other daughter was no exception to this. Having a sister figure was beyond her wildest dreams. She always thought if she’d ever have one would be a younger one, so getting the loving older sister figure she always dreamt of was even a bit overwhelming for her. She’s still fairly young and her brother isn’t just way older but he’s also responsible for the reception of the guests and overall functioning of the inn, there was just no time to play.
But even if you were still weak you gave her your time, she brought books so you could read together aiming to keep you entertained as you got better and you were even teaching her how to knit, bonding as family had never been more wholesome for lady Suna.
But you’re wrong if you think that’s all. We can’t leave Suna papa out of the equation, even if he’s the most reserved of the lot, he still enjoys having you around. Your cooking skills are a welcomed asset to the inn and your kindness just made everyone feel at ease. But more than anything, he loved the influence you had on his eldest son.
Rin wasn’t really interested in his succession. 
He always knew the inn was his responsibility, that he would have to take over completely at some point and he took things for granted, it was his already after all, it’s not like he had to fight for his rights or anything.
But he’s never been one to be on top of things, to be proactive, he did things just because he had to, without joy in the slightest. 
That changed the moment you came in with him.
Nowadays, he’s the first one up every morning. He goes straight to your room as he is supposed to ‘wake you up’, but in reality, he sits by your side until you stir, then gets up and brings you breakfast. Once you’re done eating he checks your head wound and then goes off to work. A routine of some sorts. A wonderful one, because before any of this, he wouldn’t leave his room until ten minutes before opening time, hardly cleaned after himself and even breakfast was a nuisance to him.
Life had changed quite a bit for the Suna family, and it was for the best.
“Are you planning to stay there hiding all morning? Cuz I could use your help in the front desk.” the sound of his mellow voice made jump out of your skin, you hadn’t notice he was there, or how he’s been there for a while just plainly looking at you.
“Really? Sure, what do you need me for?” excitement was written on your face, you weren’t sure if in your current conditions you’d be able to take on cleaning duty and while you’re fine with cooking, it’s very different cooking for a family of five than for an entire inn full of guests.
“Yeah, I can take care of checking them in and out and you can guide them to their rooms and make sure nobody forgot anything behind, how does that sound?” it was even better than you expected, not at all harsh on your body and you’d still be of use, fantastic news.
“Great! You don’t need to pay me by the way…I know what you said, but it’s more than enough payment keeping a roof over my head and keeping me well fed, not to mention all the clothing and things you’ve gotten for me. I probably owe you money at this point.” your cute giggles were a blessing for sore ears, they never failed to brighten any room you were at and lighten the mood of anyone in it, softening a heart or two on the way.
“As you wish but do let me know if you need anything or want to buy something. I’m sure we can come to some sort of arrangement.” nodding eagerly you trailed behind him towards your new job.
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
You found your own pace quite fast at the front desk, nobody would put in doubt that you two were the happy marriage that owned the inn, even if that wasn’t the case, it was hoped it would at some point.
The regulars would come and greet you from time to time, even staying a couple extra nights to help with the business, anything to spend a while more in your presence and make sure the new village’s darling was still in good health.
The rumors of your ‘curse’ were flowing around the village, some, more so than others, tried as much as they could to find any information on the blessing or some sort of medication that could help you getting better; nobody wanted you to leave this world so soon, you just arrived to theirs and they wanted you there, even the elders took a liking to you now that even the leader of the village seemed to be interested in something beyond his duties.
“(Y/N), Mr. Tanabe brought you this…” Rin held the translucent bag while pinching his nose with his other hand, a deep scowl covering his features and startling you, he’s such a nice old man, why would he leave something like that for you-?
“W-what is it, R-rin…?” it looked like monster vomit, and it smelled just like it too.
“Not sure, he said it contains spider venom so it had to be taken in small doses every morning for seven days. Something to do with your coughing fits…” he would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried. You two make a great team and life wasn’t so dull anymore since you became a part of his daily life, but he wasn’t sure what he could do to help, if he could even do anything at all.
“Oh ok, I will then. The acupuncture helped a lot, he seems to know what he is doing.” your soft smile hid fear behind its loveliness, he knew it and could feel it, it couldn’t fool him, not him at least.
“(Y/N) is it getting worse again? Are you sure you don’t prefer going with the leader? He might be able to help you find a cure…Not like I want you out of here or anything…just wondering since you don’t seem to be getting any better…” his frown was visible from your angle and without thinking it twice you held his face between both of your hands, looking straight into his eyes, “Yes/no questions time. Do you want me to leave this house?” a silly game you both liked to play when things were getting difficult to process, conversation wise.
“No.”
“Do you want me to stop working with you?”
“No.”
“Do you like peanut butter?”
“What-?”
“Just answer dammit.”
“Fine, yes.”
“Ok good, just making sure you’re paying attention. Next, do you like having me around?” this time he took a little longer to reply, nodding instead of uttering the actual word.
“Do you like me…?” he nodded once more.
“As a future wife or just as a co-worker…?”
“I thought you said yes/no questions…” his cheeks were getting warmer at the touch and a little red as well.
“Rin…”
“Ok, ok, yes I do like you as a future wife…but I like you as a coworker too, just for the record.” lately you’ve been more than accepting the outcome of said fate, and you weren’t really ashamed of it honestly. Originally you were just thinking about ways of getting yourself cured, you did make a promise, one to get better and continue living no matter the cost, one promise you weren’t thinking of breaking, and if marrying a fox would help, you’d try that, gladly. But since you started spending time not just with everyone in the inn but also Rin, you were kind of looking forward to it more than just accepting what was being imposed to you. And it would be a lie to say you weren’t happy to hear those words coming out of his pretty lips just now.
“Then why do you want to send me away to the arms of some other man!?” your cute pout made him sigh, that’s not what he meant, and you knew it, but you were testing more than one thing with this question, and his lack of patience was one of them.
“I don’t want you in some other man’s arms, ok? But you have to be alive to be my wife and I don’t think I have what it takes to get you the blessing, (Y/N)….” letting go of his face you slouched, resting your forehead on his shoulder, “What do you think true love really is, Rin?”
“Is that a rhetorical question, or…?” he looked down at you, slight embarrassment lacing his every word.
“Just answer…”
“Hmm…I’ve never really been interested in that sort of thing, you know this. But if I had to say what it was, I think true love is when your lost heart finds itself in someone else’s. Does that make sense?” that made you look up at him, his eyes were a tad more open than usual, sparkles overflowing his orbs, it could be all your imagination, but he looked beautiful, nonetheless.
“A bit. Why do you think that?”
“Well, I don’t know. Just thought that’s what it probably is about. Feeling more comfortable with someone else than you are with your own self. That’s quite rare if you ask me…and like I don’t know…finding answers to questions you always had about yourself being answered by that person instead, it’s quite a revelation, mind you, so it’s gotta be that.” quiet giggles left your lips, making him smile, “Is this about you having a mild allergy to tomatoes?”
“How could you know that when I didn’t? I’ve been living in my own body for two hundred years and I didn’t know, mind blowing…”
Your giggles turned to laughter, his fingers finding your own and lacing them together, “Does that mean I’m your true love, Suna Rintarou?” he just shrugged pulling you over to the counter so you could start greeting today’s guests. “If that’s what love actually is, then probably. But who knows, we are no experts in the subject, apparently.”
“That, we are not. But if that’s what it is, then we might get the blessing eventually, don’t you think? Sending me over to the Kita castle seems a bit too much for me…” squeezing his hand gently, you attempted the prettiest puppy eyes you could muster, making him sigh once more, deeper and louder this time around, “Fine, you stay where you are, and I get rid of the lurking pests.” said comment was said while glaring at Atsumu who was peeking through a back door, attempting to steal you away as he usually does; a light tap on the side of your bum indicating for you to go hide in the kitchen.
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
Things were going great at the inn, as months went by more customers were coming in from out of town for the fall festival, you two had improved the service and even the way things used to be done around for the best, this forcing his dad to make a sudden declaration, he would be retiring as off next weekend. And not just that, he’d be taking his wife along, it was time for both of them to take a very well-deserved long vacation and that one house they bought by the edge of the river for summer breaks seemed to be ready to become their one and only home for whatever it was left of their life.
Meaning, Rintarou and his ‘bride’ would be taking over not only the inn entirely, but also getting the house that came along with it.
Lady Suna was to move into the castle soon as the elders declared you were a danger to the balance among the clans and the marriage should be sealed even if it was only with a blood pact while she was of age, so nobody would put in doubt the loyalty of their leader.
So, the house was to be left completely empty for just the two of you, “Well, I would hope you fill it up again soon though, my dear…if you know what I mean…” a not-so-subtle wink was thrown your way as Rin’s mother packed her bag with excitement.
“Mother would you stop bothering us about the pups thing? We get it ok? You want them soon, we know, but things don’t just work that way…we need…well you know…” he was now facing the wall, hoping none of you could see how his face was as red as it could possibly be.
“What? What is it that you need? You have time…you live together…we are even leaving you alone for good now. What else could you possibly need, son? Is it that you have a problem getting it-“
“MOTHER”
“WHAT?”
“It’s not that ok…? It’s not…that…” you came over to the rescue, getting in between the two of them, one of your arms sneaking around his mid-section while you smiled at his mother.
“We’ll work on it, I promise.”
“We will?” he was now looking down at you, a horrified expression taking over fairly quickly at your statement.
“Do you not want me to have your pups-?”
A hand landed over his face, slowly going down in desperation, “You two are just the same, I can’t fight against you…You know what? Fine, let’s work on that. Don’t tell me later your water broke, whatever that means…you asked for it…” huffing, he left the room, leaving the two of you chuckling in the background at his cute antics.
It was true, he couldn’t fight you no matter what and that makes him think maybe you’re right, maybe true love is just that and maybe you two are already experiencing it, little by little he can’t think of a future without you in it, who would tie his uniform how he likes it? Who would be there to make him feel safe and wanted, who would be there to hold his hand when he is overly irritated and doesn’t even remember how to breathe?
Yeah, maybe that’s just what it is…
But what if he doesn’t want all these responsibilities just yet?
The inn, the business in general, his sister’s betrothal, his house being his entirely now, a bride, pups…
Even if the outcome of all that seemed what he wanted for his future, he wasn’t quite sure if he was ready for the complete package just yet…
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amjustagirl · 2 years
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chapter 8: raze everything to the ground
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chapters: 8 / 15 pairing: miya osamu x f! reader genre: romance, angst, fluff, inarizaki shenanigans wc: 3.3k summary: miya osamu does not dare set fire to his heart. it burns anyway.
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You drop all plans at trying to make Miya Osamu yours. 
And it’s fine. He doesn’t owe you anything, he’s already been generous enough to let you into his life as a friend. There’s no obligation to see you in any romantic light. You’re not entitled to that. He’s just not receptive to your advances and sure, you might mope about it for an hour or two, watch a weepy tv drama with a lead that kinda looks like Osamu (but his eyes are so much warmer, his crooked smile is so much more charming), stuff your face with the onigiris that he gave to you - 
It’s fine. It’s really, absolutely, completely fine.��  
Kaiyo and Suzuki-san plot Suna’s death when you spill what went down at your planned romantic night out with Osamu. Suzuki-san grumbles about never letting that bastard have fresh onigiris any more. Kaiyo goes a step further, plotting to poison the chuupets that he has a sweet tooth for. 
“You can’t keep plannin’ to murder my friends”, Atsumu says despairingly. “We don’t have enough space to hide their bodies.” 
“We’ll dump Rin in the ocean”, Kaiyo says. “He’ll make good fish food.” 
Atsumu just groans. 
Vengeful friends aside (it’s kinda nice to have someone on your side for once, you have to admit), nothing much changes. You’ve already achieved a semblance of happiness, and the only hurdle to holding on to that is to keep from wanting more, so you just need to discipline your mind from wandering off into daydreams starring Osamu (holding hands, watching stars - gods, STOP) and mourning what could’ve been, how much happier you could’ve been (stop stop stop) - 
“You sure you’re okay?” 
“‘Course”, you reply, swallowing bile. Lying comes easier to you now. “How’s your opening party going? Need any help?” 
He looks at you with doubt, but you smile at him until your cheeks hurt, chattering away about how excited you are about his party. Steps of a lonely dance you’re all too familiar with, waltzing away from uncomfortable truths. “I’ll be tryin’ out a couple of new dishes, wanna see what y’all think about it”, he says, still frowning, but he’s distracted with the happy prospect of everyone he loves his new restaurant, the shine of its wooden countertops, the large billboard that displays his reworked menu that he forgets his worries about you easily enough. 
“You’ll be there, right?” he finally says after a long ramble about how the builders have done a great job, how he’s been tryin’ out the new kitchen and it works like a dream, how he can’t wait to show off his fancy rice cooker to Shinsuke ‘cos he’s finally doin’ his rice some justice. 
“I’ll be there to help out”, you answer.
He shakes his head at you. “That’s not what I’m gettin’ at, silly. It’s your place too.”
Only in the sense that your name is on the title deed and you’re finally accepting rent for it from him, but you don’t recognise the place when you walk in. Gone are the creaking floorboards, the blood red noren, the wooden framed doorways with a lantern hanging by the road. It’s a modern, open space, blonde wood with a touch of concrete, plenty of soft furnishings and natural lighting from the skylights and sweeping windows. By letting Osamu do whatever he wants with the ruins of your family’s restaurant is probably the equivalent of dancing on your ancestors’ graves and your parents are probably gnashing their teeth and cursing their ungrateful offspring, but he’s achieved what you’ve asked of him - to create an inviting, lovely space for guests to come and be comforted and fed. 
A place where one can be happy. If you don’t recognise the place at all, he’s achieved that and more.  
It also seems that he, in turn does not recognise you - dolled up by an insistent Miya Kaiyo, who teaches you that no, a mascara wand is not a deadly weapon, despite it’s intimidating appearance, wearing a dress that flutters around your knees unlike the usual shapeless, boxy garments you dress yourself in (at work, that’s what you’re provided with, off work, you just like to be comfortable). His eyebrows draw together until he figures out who you are, then his mouth gapes open, like a fish gasping for its last breath. 
Before you can approach him though, he’s suddenly crowded by a gaggle of obaa-chans, long time customers of the shop who seem to have adopted him, cooing and pinching his cheeks despite the fact that his actual mom (who you are going to give a wide, wide berth tonight) is watching indulgently that her son is being swarmed. You greet Suzuki-san instead after leaving your gift of ume bonsai, a miniature plum blossom tree in a terracotta pot in a corner of the shop. 
“You should say hi to the boss instead”, she tells you crossly but it’s not as if she’s averse to you stepping into the back to relive poor Miyamura-san of his designated job to run back and forth between the front of the house and the back kitchen to replenish the buffet line of onigiris and pickles and steaming pork bone and bitter melon soup. 
It’s during one of those trips that you’re knocked off your orbit by a Suna Rintaro who looks marginally less likely to spit at the world, though he’s still scowling. Keep doing that and your face might freeze in place if the wind changes, you feel like telling him, but you lose the thought immediately as he shoves his hands in his pockets, looking down the length of his nose at you, like you’re a bug on the floor he’s been ordered not to step on. 
“Samu told me to apologise to you”, he blurts out, tone abrupt. “Sorry for being rude.” 
You stop yourself from wringing your hands, letting them twitch uselessly, a pair of injured lovebirds fluttering at your sides. “It’s fine”, you repeat your favourite refrain these days though it’s clear you’re not convincing anyone when he snorts rudely at you. 
“Clearly not”, he retorts, glowering. He’s an angry dark cloud floating about a roomful of joy and you’re tempted to ask him to tone it down lest he spoil ‘Samu’s party, but something, something smooths out the unhappy creases in his face. 
“But I guess it doesn’t matter. Love sucks, doesn’t it. Fuck this shit.” 
He looks down at you with something akin to pity before stalking off, an animal licking his wounds, too quick to exit the scene before you can grab his arm and demand what exactly he means by that. You keep an eye on him after that, watching him pace around the back, knocking back shots of sake and shochu, wrinkling his nose presumably at the bitterness trickling down his throat but he seems relatively harmless. 
Your attention from Suna Rintarou is pulled once Osamu climbs onto a chair, cheeks flushed red and ruddy with the alcohol flowing freely in the room. 
“A toast”, he calls hoarsely. The crowd cheers. 
To Suzuki-san, he exclaims, to Morita-san, to Ishida-san, to Miyamura-kun, his trusty crew. They raise a glass to him, and cheer kanpei! “Don’t burn down the place again”, Morita and Ishida chorus and Osamu just rolls his eyes and laughs. 
It’s not an unpleasant surprise when he turns to you, though the sudden focus of everyone’s attention on you makes you feel like you’ve ingested a flaming piece of coal.  
“To my landlady”, he chuckles, eyes bright. “My sensei. My friend. Thanks again for teachin’ me. For trustin’ me. I couldn’t do this without you.” 
He moves on just as your heart can explodes out of your chest in a shower of confetti and fireworks. You stagger, knocked off your feet as you grab a chair to regain your balance, reminding yourself to act normally, smile and breathe, damnit. Thankfully, everyone’s focus has moved on, everyone aww-ing as he thanks his parents (his mother chokes up, wipes away a tear) for allowing their son in the kitchen (a dig at his grandmother, who’s thankfully not in attendance today), laughs when he mentions “Kaiyo, my long suffering accountant, chief gremlin and my sister in everything but blood - ” (he accepts a bear hug), calls out to Shin-chan and Sho-chan (they only laugh when he calls them both demon spawn, and promptly start arguing who’s more demonlike), and of course he concludes with - 
“To ‘Tsumu, my twin. Though I still think maybe life would’ve been easier if I ate you in the womb”. 
The gathered crowd guffaws as Atsumu yells back that he should’a smothered him in his sleep, and it probably would’ve devolved into yet another (good-natured) Miya twin brawl if not for the quick thinking of Suzuki-san, who puts on some music and Miyamura-kun who pops up like a magician, brandishing onigiris instead of rabbits, and you take advantage of the commotion to grab your bag and slip away, into the alley where you can sit on the steps of the backdoor to the restaurant, simmer yourself in the conflicting emotions battling for dominance in the cavern of your chest. 
Head between knees, you don’t know if you should cry or laugh. But before you can do either - or both, really, the heavy thud thud of footsteps approaching interrupts you and Miya Osamu squeezes in beside you even though his sudden appearance is really quite inconvenient for the romantic feelings you have for him that you’re trying so so hard to raze into the ground. 
“I didn’t manage to say a proper hello just now - so, hi there”, he smiles boyishly, a halo of gold on his head from nearby streetlamps. 
“Hi”, you can’t stop yourself from smiling back, drinking in the sight of him, all to yourself for once. Your heart struggles against the iron restraints you’ve clamped it down with, but you hold firm. “Now that you’ve said hello, you really should get back to your party.”
“It can wait”, he replies, untucking his apron. “Did you eat? Still hungry?”
Typical. 
“I’m at a party you’re throwing - so, yes. I’m gonna be full for days.” He laughs, throwing his head back and something, something inside you clenches, keeps your heart in a burning bind. “You should really go back in with your guests, ‘Samu. But - um. Congratulations on your new place. It’s amazing. I knew it would be.” 
He gazes at you with a soft, indulgent smile. “Thanks”, he murmurs, a whisper that you want to hold in your palms, brand the memory of this exact moment, drive it red-hot into your flesh, carve it into your bones to hopefully keep that horrible, greedy, grasping side of you that wants him, that wants far too much at bay. 
Keep moving forward, eyes on the horizon and don’t look back. 
“I’ve got a present for you”, you say, opening your bag. “I left my other gift - an ume bonsai out in the front, though Suzuki-san said you’ll probably end up killing it, so she suggests you give it to Kita-san for safekeeping instead, but anyway - here you go. 
Your father’s knife. 
The hon-deba that’s been passed down through your family for generations, the knife your father used to scale, clean and fillet fish whole, earn his place in the restaurant not merely by birthright, but by his talent, hard work and skill. It’s single bevelled, the blade shaved down from years of work, until it fit perfectly in your father’s hand but it’s always sat uneasily in yours. 
“I’d like for you to have this”, you say, unsheathing it, smiling as it flashes silver, reflecting the streetlight.
“No - ”
“But you have to give me 100 yen as payment for it. Just to honour the old wives’ tale - lest this gift sever our friendship.” 
He makes no move to take it. 
“You can’t give away your family’s knife just like that - ”
“It’d be better off with you. It’ll just rot with me if I hold on to it”, you insist, pushing it into his lap. 
“Maybe you could something with it, cook again -” 
This knife only holds bad memories for you. Ghosts linger whenever it sits in your palm, and even if you hide it away in some hidden corner of your home, at best it will gather dust and dirt, at worst, it will haunt you, remind you of your shortcomings and failures like a malevolent god.  
“It’ll have a better home with you. You’ll do good with it, feed so many people with it, build them up, make them stronger. You’ll use this knife as it was intended to, for people, to bring them happiness and comfort with food.”
“It’s your family’s heirloom -” 
“I don’t have any family left, and I want to give it to you.” 
“Why”, he finally says, slowly, ponderously as if he’s considering every word that spills out of his mouth. “Why are you always so nice to me?” 
“Because you are the best person I know”, you reply. “Because I like you.”    
Osamu just looks at you with wide, wide eyes. “Me?” he breathes. 
He’s giving you a lifeboat, a way to charter yourself out of the mess you’ve made, but it’s too late. You’ve already surrendered to the depths of your feelings for him, allowing yourself to drown in the honey-gold pools of his eyes. 
“Yes, you.”
It’s too late. Water has already filled your lungs, choking you with salt. Any flicker of hope is snuffed out as he crams himself away from you, eyes shuttered and dark.
“I’m sorry.”
Later, you will blame the blue-dark haze of night and the yellow-gold light that dances along every inch of his skin for making him look almost other-worldly, for tricking you into being honest with him for once. Later, you will blame the sake that Morita foisted upon you for the fog in your mind and the pork bone soup that you know Osamu placed on the menu for you, because you forget to hide behind a veneer of politeness, of detachment. 
But in that moment, that split second when you realise you’ve essentially done the equivalent of pouring gasoline on your heart and setting it on fire, you’re frozen in place, unable to run and save yourself. You can only watch the water rush in, the world ablaze. 
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” 
You’re not sure if you’re trying to placate him or you. Probably to coax his shoulders down from about his ears, ease him out of the wide-eyed stare he’s levelling at you. You’re fine - you expected this, you’re not even disappointed because you knew this would happen, saw it barrelling towards you like a freight train a mile away and that’s fine, it’s wholly, completely, absolutely fine. 
“I’m going to see if Miyamura-kun needs any more help, it still seemed pretty busy in there last I checked.”
You slip away and he lets you, still clutching your father’s knife in what seems to be utter shock. 
The party’s already winding down. Shoma is sitting placidly in a corner playing with Asami, Shino chattering away with her father’s teammates both past and present (you’ll be able to tell if you’re jumping right if there’s a pow! when you take off from the balls of your feet - like a rocket, Shoyo? - honestly, I have no idea how Shin-chan is following anything you idiots are saying) but most are packing up, making it easy for you to blend in with everyone else and escape out of the restaurant and into the cold city streets. 
Kombu-chan greets you with a sniff as she always does, wriggling away when you try to entice her into your lap. 
“Looks like you don’t want me tonight either”, you chuckle humourlessly. “Probably should get used to that. Actually, I don’t even know why I’m not used to that already.” 
She just licks her paws, meticulously cleaning the lily-pink pads of her tiny feet, clearly not bothered enough to listen to you monologue on about the sad, sad state of your life, the disappointment you have no right to feel, the unwelcome prospect of having to face Miya Osamu come tomorrow or the day after and put on a smile to pretend that you haven’t just embarrassed yourself by admitting to having feelings for him that he does not reciprocate, how you wish you’d just sewn your mouth shut and hunkered back in your cave, isolating yourself from the world once again - 
The doorbell rings. 
Kombu-chan stiffens, casting you a look that you clearly read as what now, what dares disturbs my slumber as you unfold yourself from your seat on the floor, ready to fend off some travelling salesman with no concept of time, jumping back a step when you realise Miya Osamu’s standing right outside your door. 
“Can I come in?” he asks, though he’s never had to in all the time you’ve known him. 
“Of course”, you murmur, flitting into the kitchen to boil water for tea, a nervous reflex. He doesn’t follow you, waiting by your dining table, feet tapping an off-tempo rhythm on the linoleum floor. When you serve him his cup of steaming green tea, he pushes your father’s knife back at you, saying without preamble - 
“I wouldn’t be able to make you happy.”
“Oh”, you reply stupidly, taking the knife from him. “Okay.” 
His brow creases. “Okay”, he says. “I’m not makin’ any sense, and you probably want to throw me out cos I know I’m an ungrateful bastard - ”
“You don’t owe me anything, Osamu”, you interrupt. “I meant what I said - you are still the best man I know, and that still hasn’t changed.”
“This is what I mean”, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “You - I - gods. I just didn’t want you to be under the impression that I’d be able to make you happy. You deserve so much better than me -” 
You weigh his words, turning them individually like seashells, swimming through tea leaves trying to divine if he means what he says at face value, or if he’s just trying to let you down politely with that trademark kindness of his. He’s brought you so much happiness through his friendship alone, leading out from your self-imposed exile out into the sun, and every step forward you’ve made in pursuit of happiness is aided and guided by him so he can’t truly, possibly mean what he says. 
“ - there are better places to look to for happiness. I’ve always been happiest with my restaurants, feedin’ people, makin’ them happy - maybe that’s somethin’ you wanna reconsider -” 
(your scars itch again, a low, simmering burn) 
“Ah”, you say, the puzzle pieces before you clicking together. “I see.” 
He stares at you, wide-eyed. There’s a flush burning its way up the column of his neck, slow-roasting the pink apples of his cheeks. “I just - I was just puttin’ it out there for you to reconsider cos I think it’s a waste -”
(a waste, he says.)
“Thank you, Osamu”, you interject, smiling so widely that your teeth ache as if you’ve been gorging yourself on candy all day. “It’s getting late.”
His mouth snaps shut. 
“I - “ he looks baffled, pained. “I put my big foot in my fat mouth, didn’t I?”
“Not at all”, you say breezily. “I understand where you’re coming from completely.”
“Really?” 
You place the knife carefully on the table when you stand, making your way to the entryway to open the door in a clear invitation to leave that Osamu has no choice but to heed out of politeness. “Of course, don’t worry about it. And it’s late, Osamu, you have the grand opening tomorrow. You should go home, you need a good night’s rest.”
Patiently, you wait until he laces up his shoes, until he asks you, once, twice if you’re really okay, to which you reply with a smile that you’re fine, and a too-cheery goodnight, Osamu, until he really doesn’t have any further reason to stall, retreating back down the corridor, waving hesitantly at you as he disappears into the lift. 
(your scars gape open into fresh wounds.)
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a/n: yes i know i'm evil for leaving y'all on a cliffhanger til i'm back in september so! feel free to scream at me and drop by my inbox!
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attemptinghaikyuu · 2 months
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~Choose your own Ending~
It’s foggy out when you check through your window to see how much light there is outside.
You feel your nerves go up at the sight.
The fog is making everything look like the beginning of a horror movie, and that’s not the vibe for a first date. Which you’re going on in a half an hour. You feel your heart rate speed up for none horror movie related reasons, as Osamu pops into your head.
You need to pick an outfit. You still don’t know what you want to wear and Suna is definitely not helping.
He came over to help and yet he’s just lounging on your couch saying everything you’ve put on isn’t right. You want to ignore him at this point but it’s hard when the moment you try, he gets huffy about it. Talking even louder. Melting into the couch further and further.
You sigh.
The first thing you did after getting home from volunteering with Osamu-
Was text Suna.
You had been buzzing from the adrenaline of being asked out by Osamu. Excited to realize what you felt towards him. You were basically screaming into your phone as you told Suna. There was only silence in reply. When you called his first name he finally responded, and to your surprise it was with a full apology for inviting Osamu on your beach trip.
His voice had been strained as he apologized and he had immediately asked if he could come over.
It was the saddest hangout the two of you had ever had. This one was probably second.
A knock at your door brings you out of your brooding and Suna’s eyes dart to the door and narrow.
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lxvr-girl · 6 months
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Welcome!
 ---˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹---
Welcome to my page!
Requests are open! I write for: ❀Haikyuu!
❀DSMP
❀BNHA/MHA
this is all I can think of rn, I will add to this list tho.
Here is what i will not write: ❀Smut/Lemon/18+ (suggestive jokes are an exception)
❀Yandare AU
❀Kidnapping
❀Death (unless it is about Mineta /j)
❀Abuse (absolutely not)
❀Forced marriage
❀ Pedophilia/large age gaps (max. age gap is 4 years)
❀Incest/Stepcest
Other than that, request away :)
 ---˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹---
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hazzyyx · 5 months
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Heslouz.
Venho compartilhar com todos minha fanfic, que está disponível na plataforma wattpad. Acabei perdendo minha conta anterior e pelo desânimo abandonei, voltando somente essa semana, após um surto de criatividade.
wattpad;
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undobutton · 2 years
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hypothetically... if i made a social media au, what would y'all wanna see?
like what fandom? which characters? what plot? romantic? platonic? how long should it be? ect.
send in some asks with suggestions! i will definitely read them all and reply as well! I'd like to hear all your ideas!
let's work together and start it!
-button🌺
p.s. this is all based on my inspiration, so if i don't choose your idea or fandom ect please don't take it personally! i just wait for the lightbulb to go off, doesn't matter who flips the switch.
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bulogsstuff · 1 year
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Loving those romantic tropes where the boy is in love with the girl who he tried to bully but ends up flustered instead, bonus if the girl is aware but doesn't care for him 😮‍💨
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sukirichi · 2 years
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[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 006 ]
“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”
c/w. modern royal au. infidelity. slight angst. gaslighting. toxic characters. suggestive. toxic relationships. suna is physically aggressive in one scene. mentions of neglect and abuse.
notes. omg i never expected i’d actually update this someday but thank you to everyone who’d been so nice and supportive! ily chloe for always hyping me up and ily sunflower anon for bullying me (affectionately) into updating <33
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[ SIX ] you held my heart in your fingertips, so now i drown in my bitterness 
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The bullet whizzing past the open gardens stunned you into temporary deafness. Smoke coated the barrel as its heat slowly seeped into your hands, yet it could not compare to the burning rage emanating within the Sixth Prince as you gaped back at him. You, too, were in disbelief over what you had just done.
You did not mean it. You did not mean to do that as you took a step back, the weapon snatched out of your hands when you faced your husband.
Fury glistened in those brown orbs. Sweat formed at the edge of his forehead, and you felt damp under the cool morning air until the Prince was unloading the gun. Opening your mouth to speak, you prepared yourself to repent for what you had done—because no, not even a miniscule of satisfaction could be tasted on your tongue at Princess Iris’ lithe body shell-shocked with fear. Not a tinge of victory to be celebrated when your husband had grabbed you by the wrist and away from the scene.
“Your Highness,” you called out in a trembling voice, focused on the firmness of his back faced to you. Here, you could barely see a thing when his broad body obscured your vision, but you were no fool. You knew you were about to be kicked out from your own home.
“Please, you are hurting me!”
The Prince ignored your cries as he pulled the car door open, sharp eyes narrowed at you before he shoved you inside. Not a moment later, he appeared by your side and revved the engine, feet slamming down on the gas before you could utter a word. You doubted he would listen anyway when he sped out from your manor and into the open fields, driving past through the line of trees and narrow roads with ease, his knuckles turning white to the bone from his iron grip.
“Your Highness, slow down! We might crash!”
Your pleads were met by deaf ears. Prince Suna did not slow down the least bit. If anything, the sound of your voice encouraged him to drive faster, the tick of his jaw one of the last things you saw before your vision blurred.
The scenery of the fields was incomprehensible. Your ears still rang from your previous act of hunting that damned bird behind Princess Iris. Your breathing laboured, knees turning weak the faster he drives until the splash of blue skies felt nauseating. Bile slowly rose bitterly from your throat as you clutched at your seatbelt for dear life. He wouldn’t budge even as your other arm clutched at his in an attempt to get him to slow down, but it was too late. It would have been too late.
You were nearing the edge of the cliff, and at this speed, none of you would survi—
“Your Highness!”
Prince Suna hit the brakes.
Chest heaving up and down, your husband turned to you with an incredulous look painted on his handsome features, minus its usual softness that he reserved when you were behind closed doors. Today, the Prince was all rough and aggressive from when he disappeared and into your side, yanking you out by the wrist despite your whines. You fell on your knees then, palms now littered with scratches as it bled against the rough pavement. But did the Prince notice? Did your husband care that his wife panted below him, trembling the longer she stared at her new wounds?
What would Her Majesty say? It was unspoken of that royals bear any scars. Flaws were rare as they were taboo, and if you were scarred, then that made your value of a Princess less.
Your own husband was giving you more reasons to not be by his side.
“Get up.”
Your head snapped up at the sound of his voice. His command was cold as ice, yet his eyes said otherwise. You did not know this man. The Crown Prince would never stare at you like you were the vilest thing he had ever laid his eyes on, his muscular arm flexing when he brushed his hair with his hand and fumes.
“My Prince, what are you—”
“How fucking dare you,” he spat out with a ridiculed scoff, “How dare you threaten the life of Her Highness like that. Is your head so empty after being fucked dumb that you forgot she is married to the Second Prince, and the only Princess that prevents Itachiyama from meddling with our country? You could have easily ruined five years of their alliance with that stupid act of yours!”
Your head reeled back from his stinging insults.
“I-I did not mean it, Your Highness.”
“You didn’t mean it,” he repeated mockingly, “Oh, so you just happen to be loading your weapon and pointing it at your sister, is that right?”
You scoffed.
“The Princess is not my sister.”
“She’s the wife of your husband’s brother. Whether you like it or not, we are all family now, and family treats each other with respect. More so that we are royals! Yet you...” the Prince grimaced at a loss for words, teeth clenching as his finger angrily poked at his head. “You could not piece that together, could you? It is because you don’t think. You are a fucking halfwit for not being careful with your—”
Tears clouded your vision. You no longer cared about being elegant and presenting yourself as a royal at all times when your voice rose in octaves, the words leaving your mouth as shaky as the tremors in your heart.
“You are treating me too rudely, Your Highness! You act as if I had committed a grave sin!”
“Because you have!”
“But I did not harm anybody, so you have no right to punish me for something I did not do—”
“You almost killed my girlfriend!” your husband seethed, “You, with your dirty little fingers and pride, trampling around like you own the place, pointed a hunting rifle to my girlfriend! Had I not stopped you earlier, I would have lost her. I would have lost the woman I loved, and I do not think I could ever forgive you or myself should that ever happen. Or rather, I would never allow you to set even a foot near me for as long as I live,” and to add salt to the wounds, he shook his head and looked away from you. “You repulse me.”
You clenched your jaw, nails digging into your palm as you willed yourself to calm down.
How you were able to speak calmly would be far and beyond you.
You somehow managed a laugh, no matter how dry it sounded, and wiped the shameful tears you shed. How embarrassing that you foolishly believed any of his promises had been real. You had really thought you were loved, but now that your own husband stood before you and could barely look you in the eye, what did that truly make you? The villain? The mistress? The halfwit, as he called you?
“She...is your girlfriend?”
The Prince threw his hands up in the air at the sight of your tears. “Oh, how mature, Princess. You’re a grown woman crying like a child. Go and let the waterworks flow if that is all you can do.”
“Do you have any idea how heartless you sound right now?”
“You have the audacity to tell me that when someone was nearly in danger because of you?”
“And you have the audacity to be angry at me because I could have hurt your mistress?”
Prince Suna sucked in a sharp breath. He stalked you until you were cornered between him and the car, left trapped and holding your breath even though he was not touching you. Funny, you found it, that even at a time like this you craved for his touch. They had always been soothing. Always tender and comforting you when you were at your lowest, but that time seemed like a lifetime ago already. Because the husband you married was not real—the husband you believed would have loved you as he should and would never glare at you like this as he warned in barely above a whisper, “Don’t call her that. Her Highness is not a mistress.”
“Oh, but she is. She is a woman married to your brother, and yet she is in a relationship with the Crown Prince, who might I remind you, asked for my hand in marriage!” to prove your point, you flashed him the bodacious ring sitting atop your finger.
The Prince merely spared a glance.
“Indeed. It is a decision I am severely regretting as of this moment,” he declared, and the bitter regret coating his tongue was more than enough to let you fall limp against the car. The Prince, ever scheming and malice as he truly was, took the opportunity of your defeated state to straighten his collar down before straightening his back. “Let me clarify it to you, Your Highness. I never loved you. I never wanted you. It is Princess Iris whom I want, and it is with her where my heart will always be. The only reason you and I stand together here now is because I love her so much I was willing to do anything to make her mine. And you were simply there when I needed a wife most. It was you who made my plans within arm’s reach. So should you ever feel any sort of distaste for our marriage, then you must take the blame upon yourself. Princess Iris is innocent and I will be damned before I let you lay a hand on her ever again.”
The corners of your lips tilted upwards. Matching his hard stare, you exhaled. “You are far more despicable than I believed you capable, my Prince.”
He let out a sardonic laugh.
“Had you not laid a hand on her, this would have never happened. This was your fault. You could have simply played your part as a docile wife, left her alone, and I would have still regarded you kindly.”
“Regard me kindly?” you echoed, “You expect me to flatter you in thanks that you would treat your wife civilly under the condition I turn a blind eye to your affair?”
“Yes, for that is all you will ever get from me,” looking at you from head to toe, Prince Suna snickered. “I don’t even know what I saw in you. You should be elated I even married you to begin with—had I not, you would have rotted alone in your silly little mansion. Unloved. Uncared for. Unvaluable. As you always have been.”
Unknown to your numbed state, your husband walked away.
He rounded the car and went inside his seat, locking it before you could get a chance to get in. The sound of the engine revving brought you back to life as you peered at your husband with wide eyes, pounding on the glass windows while he slowly backed away. He would not dare leave you here, right? He wouldn’t. “Your Highness, wait! Please don’t leave—”
The Prince could not even bother to look back at you once before his car zoomed past, the vehicle slowly disappearing into view. You were left with the company of the birds’ chirping and your heartbeat drumming in your chest, falling back onto your bum as you processed what just happened.
He left you.
“No, no, no, this is not happening... it can’t be...”
The Prince, your husband, your best friend, your whole world—he just left you. Not once did he look back—there was no remorse or mercy in his words or actions—he just left you. And you realized perhaps heartbreak was a worse fate than death because surely, nothing could hurt more than this. You were slowly being pushed to the edge as your ring glinted back at you in the sunlight, serving as a cruel reminder that your fairytale of a love story ended before it even began. What were you thinking anyway? That he was a Prince Charming sweeping you off your feet to the land of happily ever after’s? That was not real. He was not real. The Prince was not charming, he never loved you, and you knew all that. You always knew.
And maybe the Prince spoke nothing but the truth.
Maybe this was all your fault.
You could have avoided this on the night he announced your engagement and you found out about his affair. Or was it really an affair? He loved her first. He met her first. He simply met you at a different time and he already had someone else in his heart, but why did his words bear a heavy weight of truth the more he rubbed it in your face you were useless? Was this all you were good for? Good enough to be a Princess, but not worthy enough to be a loved wife.
Did you really mean so little to him?
By this point, you were just playing with fire. He was right by calling you a fool because you knew everything yet acted as if you were clueless and stepped head-on in a battle you were not prepared for.
This was too much, and you’d been married for barely a week. Everything was falling apart right before your eyes yet you never learned your lesson as you stood up and rubbed at the ache in your chest, the tears salty on your lips and stinging your skin from how flushed you’d been. Like a true fool, you retraced the indents of his wheel into the concrete and planned to walk back home when the scenery before you had you halting in your steps. Surrounded by trees of green and hills looming overhead, you could not spot your manor from here. You did not know where to go, and you did not have a phone to ask for help. You hadn’t travelled enough around the humble town and its massive territories of land to memorize the way back home from this dead end, and you don’t think you had ever felt this hopeless in your life before.
Who would come save you now?
“Rin,” you choked back his name with a sob, hugging your arms to yourself as the nearby forest haunted you with its dark, looming presence. Here, you were left alone, and no Prince Charming or a Knight in Shining Armour would come help you now no matter how hard you tried to summon one.
After all, you were not a Princess in a fairytale. You did not live in a universe where there would be fairies to come saving you or a light would guide you for the darkness that would settle in a number of hours. The reality of your fate was that you were in a loveless marriage where you were more of a pawn than a woman, and the man you so dearly loved and gave your everything to was powerful enough to leave you high and blue in the middle of nowhere.
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The slamming of car doors shut woke everybody up from their agitated stupors in the welcoming room. There, the Sixth Prince met eyes with his brothers and their wives who eyed him up and down in careful glances before they settled to the empty side him, the silent question hanging in the air as to why his wife was not there. Well, he always hated to disappoint, but Prince Suna would not be bringing her back anytime soon. He merely ignored his brothers’ raised brows and searched for the pair of eyes—the only one who seemed eager for his return without a smidge of judgement in her brown, doe eyes.
“Angel,” he immediately softened, crouching before his lover whose legs wouldn’t stop bouncing on the couch. Caressing her knee, he left little kisses on her skin. “How are you feeling? You are not injured anywhere, are you?”
“No, my Prince. There is not even a single scratch on me.”
Rin sighed in relief. “Oh, thank heavens.”
At least Princess Iris was safe. Had you really shot her and not that stupid bird, Prince Suna would fear of what he was capable of doing to you. Divorce would be too merciful, but exile did not seem gratifying enough either. The law clearly stated that anyone who should bring harm or even threat the safety of a royal would immediately be punished through execution, and Prince Suna was not far from deeming it the opposite of plausible.
However, his flickering relief over Iris’ safety vanished the moment your name fell from her lips.
“Your Highness... where is the Princess?”
Scowling, Rin snatched a nearby bottle of whiskey and situated himself beside his lover. He would rather not let you cross his mind from now on. “Refrain from asking about the Princess. I do not wish to talk about her after she pulled that stunt with you.”
Prince Tooru whistled from the doorway. “Well, I’ll be damned, brother. You might as well say goodbye to the throne you so badly want after this,” he sniggered before pushing his weight off the wall, using two fingers to gesture a servant to scurry his way. Whatever Tooru was thinking, Suna did not like it, and he watched as his brother stuffed his hands deep into his pockets with a bored expression. “Oi, fetch me my keys—”
“You will not go after the Princess.”
The Fifth Prince paused momentarily before his laughter echoed in the room.
“Are you serious, brother? I understand you are upset with what she did, but it was valid, don’t you think? The entire time we have been here, you paid more attention to your brother’s wife than your own. In fact, you two are so desperate for each other I would not put it past the Princess if she knew about you already, so if you ask me, was it ethical she pointed a gun at Iris? Absolutely not. But do I support it? Mayhaps. It was a bold move, if you ask me, and heavens know this trip would have been numbingly boring were it not for—”
Beside him, Prince Kiyoomi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Tooru, please shut your mouth. You are not helping the situation.”
Prince Tooru surveyed everybody’s face at his brother’s comment, and was left disappointed when the servants ducked their heads or averted gazes. Even his brothers were highly unimpressed, and his usual teetering wife cowered behind him at the apparent irritation of Suna.
“Oh, stop looking at me like that, guys! I am not better than any of you, but at least have some self-awareness!” he grumbled, “It does not matter if I am not good terms with Princess Maiko—our marriage was just for money anyway. But this is Rintaro we are talking about. If the cheeky Princess decides to open her mouth about what her own husband did—if he does not even try going after her—then he’s fucked. Bye-bye King Suna, long live the king! Oh wait, I forgot we don’t have one.”
“Stay out of marriages that are not yours.”
“I could say the same about you,” retorted Prince Tooru without missing a beat, and judging by the exasperated frown of his beloved brother, Tooru knew he had pressed a button.
“Do not speak to me so casually. You may be older than me, but I am still your Crown Prince.”
“Frankly speaking, brother, I do not give a fuck about your title and rank, but alright,” dropping the car keys the servant had given him back to the tray it was presented on, Prince Tooru walked out of the room with a mock salute. “I warned you, so don’t come crying to me when your short-lived marriage ends in a divorce. ‘Can’t promise things won’t get ugly.”
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The hours into eventide would have been more bearable were Suna’s brothers not ignoring him. Clearly, they disapproved of his decisions, but who was he to care? He was the Crown Prince and held the highest authority out of everybody within that room; he had no obligation to please anybody but himself and his lover. He could not care less that nobody spoke a word during dinner, excluding Prince Tooru’s blatant, exaggerated sighs and careless throwaway comment that you must have been eaten by bears by now, which (much to his demise) plagued his head until his brothers and Princess Maiko retreated into the game room once they finished their meals.
They seemed too eager to leave, and while he had no intention of following, Suna couldn’t help it.
He refused to join their silly games (not that he was invited) when they were being rude to him and acting as if he did not exist, but Suna found himself hiding outside the room anyways as he awaited Prince Tooru to at least half-heartedly invite him. Make brotherly amends or some shit. Childish as it sounded, but he hated having discourse with his brothers. He already lived plenty of years separated from them per Her Majesty’s command. It was not until Prince Suna became the official Crown Prince along with Wakatoshi that he was given a chance to spend more time with the brothers he grew up without, so the silent treatment was akin to torture to him—as if it was not enough that the possibility of you being in danger lingered in his head.
He seriously pondered over it. Or more like, Rintaro would not stop pacing back and forth in your shared room as he mentally debated whether he should get you back or not. Even Princess Iris got impatient with his lack of responses to her that she occupied herself with drinks.
But no, Rintaro had to be strict with himself. You were getting too comfortable now that you were granted with power and the privilege to be his lover, even if it was only on paper, that it was only right he set boundaries and put you back in your place. You ought to be taught a lesson. It would only be harder for you if he broke the news of his ‘affair’ further into the future, or so he was convincing himself. The truth was that Prince Suna was unsure he would be able to sleep if something happened to you.
What if you were hurt?
You must be so scared and looking for him right now—that was just who you were, utterly forgiving and still seeking the comfort only he can provide like he was not also the cause of your misery.
He may not be in love, but he still cared.
He cared enough that he remained hiding in the dark hallway outside the pool room upon hearing Princess Maiko conversing with a servant. “Have you found the Princess?”
“Yes, Your Highness. The Princess headed to the town centre and arrived in a bed and breakfast establishment. We believe she will spend several nights there as she carried with her some spare clothes she must have got along the way,” the servant’s voice grew quieter, “Should we pick the Princess up, Your Highness? She is without guards. This will pose a threat to her safety the further she is from the royal family.”
“Picking her up would draw too much attention... the people might wonder why the newly married Princess is wandering the town alone.”
Prince Suna could hear the cogs turning in Princess Maiko’s head, but their thoughts were cut off when Prince Kiyoomi mumbled something along the lines of, “Leave her be. She will be fine.” Suna could not hear well from this distance, but the laid back confidence from his brother’s voice put him at unrest. You barely interacted with Kiyoomi due to his constant absence, so what gave him the right to act as if he knew you well?
“How are you so sure of that, my Prince?”
Prince Tooru hollered from scoring in the background. “Hah, take that, Omi-Omi! I was always better at you in everything!”
The older brother ignored Tooru. “This is her hometown, and the place is filled with farmers and cattle only. Other roads or points of entry have also been closed off for our privacy. Trading wine was put on temporary hold. Nobody gets in or out while we’re here. I assure you the Princess will be safe, perhaps even more comfortable that she is left alone,” he noted, and Suna hated how right he sounded. “Put yourself in her shoes. She does not want to see any of us right now.”
‘Us’ naturally including him.
This was your honeymoon, and against his better self, he had actually looked forward to it, too. Suna wanted to spend time with you in the same town you spent every childhood summer in as your stories never failed to bring him a sense of belonging and the promise of a home he was not familiar with. He would be lying too if he said he did not imagine your future children running around this same manor someday, thinking he’d love to play hide and seek with the kids and teach them how to ride bikes—simple yet normal experiences for a child that his parents deprived him of. But he also had Iris, and Suna would rather be lacking in a royal title than to be a father as bad as his, which is why the actual possibility of having you bear his children was not as easy as it seemed.
Nevertheless, it weighed heavily on his shoulders with each passing second where he is reminded he ruined the honeymoon. His marriage, which was sweet while it lasted, was crumbling to pieces. Everything he hoped for seemed like a far away dream again.
He wondered, though, if maybe Tooru was right. If Suna ran after you and apologized, maybe got on his knees to beg for your forgiveness, would that have changed anything? Would you still come back to him after everything he said to you? After he abandoned you?
Sighing, Suna retreats into the living room. Where he expected solace, he was instead greeted by your family portrait. You couldn’t have been older than ten in the photo, with your parents’ hands on your shoulder and you shyly beaming up at the camera while your parents gazed down fondly at you. It was clear to anybody how adored you were, but now Suna tore his eyes away from the portrait as he imagined the look on your mother’s face if she finds out about his lies. How your father, who he also considered his own after being disregarded by His Late Majesty, would refuse to share drinks or hunt with him again. Not after he hurt their precious daughter.
He had to be more than thick faced if he wanted to face your parents again.
With that thought, Suna sat forward with his arms on his knees, head buried in his hands as the turmoil in his head messed with him. It wasn’t until soft fingers wrapped around his bicep that Suna opened his eyes to see his beloved smiling softly at him. She reeked of alcohol, but he was always left in awe by her beauty.
The sight of her, safe and sound, and staying with him no matter what, had him leaning against the couch. “Iris...” She climbs onto his lap without a second word and wraps her arms around his neck. She didn’t say anything, but the soothing circles she left on his skin did not much to soothe him, nor did it provide a solution to his troubles.
As if noticing the distress on his face, Iris nudged her nose with his. “You should go after her, Rinrin. She needs you right now.”
Suna’s face fell.
Was Iris really suggesting that right now? Did she not know she was the reason Suna had to leave you like that?
“Why are... are you pushing me away?”
“I am not, but your brother is right. People will find it suspicious that she is alone when she was supposed to be with you, especially at a time when newly married couples cannot keep their hands off of each other,” she reminded, her newly done French tips brushing against his chest as she patted him like he was a child unable to comprehend common sense. “You must bring her back home, Rin. All your plans will fall to ruin if you do not try to win her back.”
“I do not want to her win back. She nearly killed you.”
“She never hurt me. See?” brushing her hair back to reveal her shoulders—where the bullet was just centimetres away from grazing her—Iris squeezed Suna in reassurance. “The Princess would never do that. She must have just woken up in a bad mood and I happen to be in the way when she was overwhelmed. Marriages are daunting. Take it from me, I have more experience than you.”
Suna bit back the gloom welcoming him.  
The last thing he wanted was to ask his own girlfriend for marriage advice, so he pressed kisses onto her knuckles in the hopes she’d stop mentioning how she was a married woman. “You are too kind, you know that?”
Iris giggled as Suna’s lips tickle her skin.
“I am just fair. The Princess does not seem like a rash person, so go ahead and apologize for leaving her. Remember, Rin, we need her to help us stay together. You need to get on her good side.”
“You think she will accept my apology after everything I said?”
Iris brushed Rin’s hair comfortingly. “Like I always say,” she hummed, “If she truly loved you, she would forgive you no matter what. All married couples fight. This should not get in the way if she wanted a strong marriage with you.” Now that, Suna wondered how credible it would be coming from her when she and Kiyoomi never had a marital altercation. They went their separate ways from the day of the wedding and have been contented with the way things had been as they weren’t aware of each other’s existence prior to the marriage, but Suna’s situation was drastically different.
He had been lying to you since the beginning, and he didn’t know which was worse—the fact that he felt guilty but will keep hurting you anyway, or his selfish desire to keep you wrapped around his finger.
“You are right, but... I do not want to see her right now. Even the thought of having to apologize to the woman who harmed you sickens me.”
“Oh, you are over thinking now, my Prince,” she cooed, gripping his chin to force him to look at her when his gaze levelled with her chest instead, inviting him to touch them. Soon, his hands were running up her sides until their lips met halfway from their neediness for each other. The current stressful events along with the fear of nearly losing his beloved drove Suna to hoisting her legs to wrap around his waist as they stumbled into the bedroom, and the next parts to come felt almost like a routine. Therapeutic, almost, because with her—with Iris—he did not have to pretend. He did not have to worry about anything else when he was buried inside her and she was moaning his name into his ear like a prayer, nor did he have the energy to care about the missing wife he had treated awfully.
But Iris could only distract him for so long.
Because as soon as she drifted off to sleep, Rin was left alone staring at his wedding ring. Reminiscing how bright your smile had been when he first slipped the engagement ring to your hands which he kissed afterwards. Remembering how hurt you looked when he told you the truth, yet he knew he had no damn right to hope for your forgiveness.
Tooru was right—Suna might as well say goodbye to the throne he sought out from the moment he fell in love with Iris. Iris...
Glancing at his lover’s blissfully asleep form beside him, snuggled into his arm like he was the only thing keeping her afloat, Suna’s throat grew tight at the realization he was unknowingly turning you into her. How he did not mean to do so, but he ended up mistreating you the same way Kiyoomi did to Iris. How hypocritical of him that he hated his older brother for not loving his wife when he was not any better, and Suna shut his eyes to block the thoughts away. He did not want to be like Kiyoomi. He did not want to be like Tooru who reminded his wife every day that he wishes he was never born if it meant ending up with her. He did not want to be like his father who only married his mother because he was an irresponsible, drunkard bastard who needed a capable woman to fulfil his duties to the country while he bedded multiple women.
Suna wanted to be better than them, but how?
If there was even the smallest chance of redemption for himself, he would take it. All he needed was to—
Go after you.
That was right. He just needed to find you and take you back home, apologize for what he’d done and come clean about everything he lied to you about. You deserved that, and Suna was shuffling out of bed as carefully as he could to not wake Iris up before he even realized what he was doing.
Clothes on, wedding ring secured on his finger, and his car keys twirled on his finger, Suna shut the door and left the manor.
He would find you.
He would get you back, and he would stop at nothing until you were running back into his arms again.
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The town centre could not be anymore farther from the manor than a ten minute drive. He arrived there in less from how eagerly he rushed into looking for that bed and breakfast establishment the servant was talking about, but it proved to be a challenge when he was greeted by a silent, dead town. All the lights were shut off, not a single soul was in sight, and the chilly cold air made his fingers feel numb even through his jacket.
Suna winced. He couldn’t remember if you wore a jacket that morning before he drove off. Shrugging his own, he rested it on his arms before finally walking towards the largest building with the lights still on—its brightness like a firefly dancing in the middle of a pitch black river. He gravitated to it like his heart just knew you were there, and the Prince could not contain his smile when he saw an elderly couple talking inside.
They spoke in hushed whispers over a cup of coffee, brows knotted together that Suna had to knock at least three times to get their attention.
“Your Highness!” the old lady noticed him first and quickly placed down her coffee before opening the door, her eyes widening by a fraction at the Prince’s unannounced arrival. Behind her, her husband waddled with a deep frown. “I—how may we serve you today, Your Highness? We don’t have any guests over to ensure the safety of your honeymoon—”
“My wife. Is she here?”
“Oh...” the old lady glanced back at her husband, seemingly sharing a silent conversation before she nodded. “Yes, the Princess arrived here this morning.”
Suna had to physically restrain himself from showing relief by balling his hands into his fists. Smiling as politely as he could, he welcomed himself inside the building, knowing full well nobody could deny him entrance or escort him out lest they wanted their business to fail. The old couple must have been aware of this too as they silently trailed behind the curious Prince assessing the lobby and looking for any signs you were there.
“How is she doing?”
“The Princess is well, Your Highness. She is merely paying her monthly visits to check on the family business and spends the night here as usual. I suppose this routine of hers must have surprised you?”
“Family business?”
The old lady, who introduced herself as Maggie, pushed her glasses up her nose and cleared her throat. “Yes, Your Highness. Her Highness’ maternal side of the family owns all establishments here in Greenville. It is not uncommon that she sees for herself how the business fares—the Princess has always been diligent and hardworking at such a young age. That was why we are not surprised that she still paid time to visit us even on her honeymoon.”
“I see,” he raised a brow at the new information. He’d always known your mother handled several chains of business that benefitted the royal family, but to own everything in a small town of his kingdom unnerved him. If he was not mistaken, Greenville was the biggest supplier of multiple infamous Inarizaki wines. To have you be in control of such a percentage of what kept Inarizaki’s economy and popularity flourishing... Suna couldn’t help but wonder what the consequences would be if you left him. Having you as his partner drastically increased the approval he received as a more respectable Crown Prince compared to his brother’s wife, Princess Camilla, who came from a line of nobles who were no longer as influential as they used to be.
“My wife is truly impressive. I had not known about this beforehand, and was worried sick when I woke up alone in bed.”
“If His Highness was worried, why only seek the Princess out now? It is nearing sunrise,” the old man grumbled, only to be smacked by his wife whose face paled.
“Albert!”
However, Suna was a Crown Prince. He couldn’t let an old man’s accusatory tone get the best of him—a perfectly done faux nervous smile partnered by scratching the back of his head was all he needed to pull off the act of an innocently worried husband. “All she left me was a note of her doing some errands and that she would be home before midnight, but she must have been too tired to return home. I thought I had to pick her up now,” he informed, eyes scanning the area before it landed on a certain room that lit a light bulb in his head. “Do you mind if I borrow your kitchen?”
“Of course not, Your Highness! Feel free to roam around the place as you please, but... you do not have to cook for yourself, my Prince. We would be more than honoured to prepare breakfast for you and your wife. Please tell us your preferences and any dietary restrictions.”
Suna waved a dismissive hand.
“I will cook Her Highness breakfast myself.”
He just hoped he would not accidentally poison you. Suna did not know how to cook, much less do anything mundane such as chores, but he would even go as far as borrowing a cookbook now that he was here anyway. He had eyes on him, and an old man was already suspicious that Suna had to stifle a snicker at the newfound irritation.
Why couldn’t you have just come home? You did not have to stir up this much trouble.
But alas, he was the cause of it, so he needed to fix it himself.
Guided by Maggie to the kitchen and giving him instructions on how to use the stove, the three of them were surprised by the sound of the front door slamming open with heavy footsteps. Suna was quick to reach out an arm to protect the defenceless elderly couple behind him, prepared to face any sort of danger when he saw a tuft of brown hair and a giggling woman in his arms. The tall man struggled to help the woman inside before she sank into the couch, falling into a fit of laughter mixed with sobs in the span of seconds.
“Tooru?”
Caught red-handed, Tooru’s eyes widened upon seeing Suna trudge to where they are. His mouth fell agape at you sprawled out on the couch, head resting on Tooru’s thighs as you mumbled something he couldn’t catch over and over again. Enraged, Suna attempted to move your head away from Tooru when you protested and flailed your arms in defiance.
“Ugh, let me goooo!”
“Tooru, did you get my wife drunk?” Suna snapped, his heart pounding incessantly as an overwhelming bitter emotion swelled in his chest. “What the fuck were you doing with her?!”
The Fifth Prince rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak, but was rudely cut off when your voice turned serious even as the words came out slurred. “Oh look, it’s my husband dearest,” you sniffled, and Suna finally noticed how your face was flushed and tear stains were evident in your skin. His instincts getting the best of him, he wrapped you in his jacket the next second, shuffling you into his arms while he ignored your fists lightly bumping his chest with every sob forced out of you.
His heart ached.
“Let me go, I don’t w-want to see you!”
Rubbing his palms up and down your back, Suna left three kisses on your forehead until you calmed down from the gesture, burying deep into his embrace until your tears pooled into the crook of his neck. And he hated it, hated how he could feel your body quiver while you fisted his shirt the harder you cried and found it harder to breathe. He hated how he couldn’t do much to help other than to keep kissing your cheeks, your eyelids, your tears—anything to reassure you that he was not going to leave again. “Shh, my Princess, I’m here now, you’re alright—”
The Crown Prince was rendered speechless at the next words that left your mouth.
“I will—” you hiccupped through another sob, “—never let you become King.”
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TAGLIST CLOSED
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sakusakiyoomi10 · 2 years
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THE MIDDLE BLOCKER
Before starting the story I just wanted to say that I do not own Haikyyu or the characters in this story all the credits go to the rightful owners. I own just the plot. 
Thanks for reading
 enjoy the story
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taeyamayang · 2 months
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HOME / PREVIOUS CHAPTER
a stranger's comfort
 ֺ chapter 2 ָꗃ 𓂃   𐂯◜。 🌐 𐑺 ֗ ִ ﹒ ꒰˘꒳˘๑꒱໒
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a/n: kenma's "furry guest" is his cat, graham btw lol see ref: his official twt acc header
NEXT CHAPTER >>>
masterlist | hq.list | coffee date with me?
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ninapi · 5 months
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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Suna Version ╝
Premise: Being the first born of the most prominent house in the village, it was a pressing matter for Suna to deliver as future head of his clan. High expectations were set for him which sent him your way, only for him to realize you were all he really needed.
Word Count: 2908
Chapter 2: Doubtless
Adulthood came in many ways, age was the most common, but responsibilities could come at any moment, accelerating said process.
In Rin’s case came right after he met you, in every single bit of its definition.
To most, adulthood means working, bills, worrying about having enough food to survive, boring commute time and awkward social interactions, but Rin had always had all those present in his life. He’s been working in the inn since he has memory, even as a child he would help bring out the futons every day, and would be sent out daily to the kitchens to peel potatoes and help choosing grains.
When your family owns a business, not having responsibilities is a foreign concept.
So, he always thought he already knew how to be an adult, that he was one already.
He had to take their guests money, keep it safe, break guest fights, make inventory decisions, order supplies, things most teenagers have no idea what they even mean, but Rin was far from mature, and he was not aware of this.
When you came to his life, not only did these responsibilities multiply, but the concept of an uncertain future came knocking at his door.
Since he was a young pup, he’s been hearing his mother and other older ladies of the community discuss the low birthrate problem, his mother in fact, was one of the most recognized among the village for being able to bare a girl.
It was a rare thing for the foxes of the south after all.
For some reason, lost in history books by now, the south has always brought high born male foxes to their race. In ancient times, the foxes of the north would send out their daughters in exchange for produce and other goods, but after the last big forest war things changed.
Now only having one girl of age to bare pups in a near future, their numbers were perishing and the need for pups to arrive was intense, ever since Rin was barely of age to understand the role he was being given, he’s been hearing of the moment he brings new ones to the clan, how his existence is so important as first male born for the clan and how he had to ensure his little sister find a perfect match, a very fertile one at that, even if he didn’t know what they were talking about, until fairly recent.
The lack of girls in town meant none of the boys his age had actually dated someone.
Aran, one of his oldest friends, was the only one that experienced the concept of love, and it hit him so hard that he ended up turning his back on his entire clan by running away with said girl.
Mixing races was a taboo, especially for someone as high in society as the first born of the Ojiro clan, having a bakeneko join their family was not accepted by any and running away seemed like the easiest way out, this of course impacted even more the birthing problem as he was the heir to their clan, leaving his very young little brother as a the only option left for the future of their growth and preservation.
As for the Suna family, everyone had high expectations from them, not only did they have an established business in the community, but the strong responsibility of preserving not only the clan in numbers but their traditions as well as time went on.
The Miyas had two boys, same as the Ojiros, the leader had only one grandson and while the Omimi clan had two boys and one girl, the girl was still pretty much a pup, making the Sunas be the closest promise of a brighter future for the village.
But while the girl was promised to the leader’s grandson the day she was born, their son was yet to find a match, regardless of his precious value among the elders.
Rin had given up on finding a mate and had been living his life as the son of the owners of an inn, nothing more, nothing less.
He did as he was told, never went to an extra mile, didn’t enjoy his job and his only entertainment was mocking his friends and their stupid antics.
But when you came to the village doors opened for all of them and while he knew he wasn’t supposed to go in said fight, his mother would have had him skinned if he didn’t even try.
A human, yet a beautiful one.
Not what it was intended for any of them, high born foxes. But all that was to take.
He went into this battle blind, thinking of it as one more of his responsibilities, something else he had to do to please his parents, something more that was expected of him.
But when he got to meet you and spend time with you his entire world went upside down.
Adulthood not only meant responsibilities or working, also meant dealing with changes, in your heart, your way of thinking, and your own body.
Never did he think he would be considering having children of his own, yes, his mother kept pressing for him to just do it, but this was your decision, not hers, one that had to be throughly considered given your current health issues.
After the rest of the family left the inn in your charge and the house empty for you to use as you pleased things escalated quite quickly though.
The first change happened on the very first night you spent together on your own.
It was a stormy night, after closing early due to a lack of customers, you both went to bed early, trying to enjoy the rare change of pace. What he didn’t expect was having you knocking at his door not even an hour into the night.
When he slid his door opened, he saw you on nothing but your sleeping yukata holding your pillow to your chest. He’s seen you dressed that way many times, but for some reason it felt much more intimate than all the other times, maybe it was because you two where completely alone for the first time, or maybe it was the way the lightening outside lit your face so beautifully in the dark, how tight you held your pillow in fear, how much your face told him you needed him by your side desperately.
It set a fire within him, one that he didn’t know was possible to feel. One so intense that his brain stopped working for a couple of minutes and he even forgot to ask what you were doing outside of his bedroom.
The house being this big and now empty, plus the thundering outside made you want some company. By this point you hadn’t done more than hold hands and a couple of soft friendly hugs, nothing to be considered intimate, not even a kiss to the cheek, so this felt quite bold of you.
When he regained his bearings, all he could do was move aside so you could go in; his eyes going as wide as they physically could as he saw you going into his futon with pillow and all. “(Y/N)…?”
“Hm? What is it Rin?” you were patiently waiting for him to lay by your side as if this was the most common and natural thing in the world, an every day happening.
“Why are you in my bed? Is this about what you said to my mother-?”
“What- NO! I’m just a little scared of the storm and can’t sleep…do you mind…if I…stay with you tonight?” his ears were bright red, and he couldn’t be more thankful to the darkness imposed by the searing storm.
“I- well…whatever, if that helps you sleep it’s fine with me..” he walked over to the other side, laying there impossibly still, eyes glued to the ceiling, barely breathing.
The stiff way he was acting made you giggle, scooting closer to lay your head on his shoulder and hold one of his hands in your own, “Relax, I don’t bite~” your playful tone made his muscles tense even more, he wasn’t ready for this, he knew how to…do it…but he never had before, he needed a second to process life.
“(Y/N) I don’t think I can do this tonight- I need to…ugh…are you sure you want this? I mean like tonight? Can’t it wait for tomorrow maybe?” you blinked up at him slightly confused, not really getting what he was trying to say.
“You want me to sleep until tomorrow?”
“No, not that…you know…the…the….ugh…for fuck sakes (Y/N) you know what I mean, dammit!” he was now covering his face with the blanket, making you smile in realization.
“I didn’t come here to seduce you, Suna Rintarou. I’m just afraid of loud thundering…” peeking an eye out of the blanket he stared at you in awe, this is why he liked you, he never felt pressured or rushed in your presence, it was an odd feeling for him, like if you had no expectations of him whatsoever, but not in a bad way.
“Does that mean it can wait until tomorrow, or-?” your cute chuckles made him come out of his hiding place at once, bringing you closer to his chest as a loud thunder in the background had you all jumpy. “Yes, Rin. It can wait until tomorrow, or the day after, or until you actually want to well…you know…” running his fingers through your hair, he hummed in thought. Truth is, he never thought of building a family of his own, he thought he’d be forever the cool uncle, the one who treated his sister’s pups to fun snacks and took them out to play; but since you came to his life, the thought of having his own little replicas wasn’t as intimidating any longer.
“(Y/N) do you really want to have them? You know…the babies? Wouldn’t it be too harsh on your body? You’re still sick and we don’t know how to cure you and what if the pregnancy is rough? What if I end up losing you in the process? What if-“ you placed a finger over his lips, smiling up at him.
“Yes. I really do want to have your babies, Rin.” for some reason his body moved on its own, bringing your face up to his to press a short loving kiss to your lips. Those words meant so much to him and he didn’t know why. You wanted to have his babies, not the future prince of the village, not one with the hot idol twins, you wanted his babies. Out of all your options you chose him and only him, it was your own will, out of his own efforts he was able to get your heart, and you ended up stealing his in the process.
He never thought his first kiss would be in his bed, with his future wife pressed cozily against his body in a stormy night, but what a lovely kiss that was.
One that would go on to live in his heart for the rest of his days, one that triggered his entire future as an adult, one that would help him understand the concept of happiness.
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
After that first night, sharing bedding became part of your routine.
The next day it wasn’t a storm, it was Rin having indigestion and needing belly rubs, he really loved the way you devoted yourself to his care, how your tiny hands rub his fake pain away while whispering reassuring things next to his ear; he never felt that way before and wasn’t going to let the feeling go.
Then the next day was your turn, suddenly being afraid of the dark, even if that had never happened before.
After a while looking for excuses to sleep together became unnecessary and you both moved into his parent’s old room, the biggest in the house, a decision that spoke louder than words.
It was an unspoken rule to keep the touching to the minimum, after that short kiss the first night nothing else had happened between the two besides perhaps some soft cuddling.
He wanted to respect you as his woman, as his future wife, but in reality, it was getting very hard to breath in your scent every morning so closely pressed to his body and keep his paws to himself became an impossible task.
Not long after, soft touches turned to heavy ones and the heat of the night brought a magical gift to the village, one that has never been more desired, a baby girl.
There was no need for a wedding of sorts, the entire village recognized you both as a married couple months before you even shared your first kiss, and you had even been living together for well over a couple of years at this point, formalities were welcomed in this village, but was deemed unnecessary when your belly couldn’t be hidden anymore by tight obi around your waist.
With just one try, the Suna clan brought another girl to the village, celebrations were in place the very next day of her being welcomed to this world, visitors coming from all over the place to see the beautiful bundle of joy.
She looked a lot like her father, her eyes could barely open, while her hair matched the color of yours. As for her fox ears, seemed to come and go each time she yawned or sneezed. A mystery, indeed.
Suna Ririna, was born on a hot summer day.
The pregnancy itself wasn’t great, the fact that your sickness continued getting worse along the way just worsened everything.
The inn had to close its doors to the public for a couple of months as a very diligent Rintarou tended to your every need. The doctor had recommended for you to go on strict bed rest since you started your third trimester, and he just wasn’t able to focus on work while you were on your own being miserable.
Thankfully the delivery wasn’t as complicated and she seemed unaffected by your condition, an extremely healthy baby girl came out of you without hassle; her first wails could be heard down the block gathering neighbors and friends outside waiting to meet the new member of their clan.
But something was off…
The legend said true love should bring Inari’s blessing and you were still quite sick. Did that mean he didn’t really love you? Or was it you? He was certain that what he felt for you was love in the purest of ways, he could voluntarily die for you if it was needed. So why were you not getting any better?
There was little to no information about the blessing, or your sickness for that matter, your time was getting shorter as days went by and he felt as useless as a lizard against a dragon.
But the moment his daughter opened her little eyes to look at him for the first time… that moment, time stopped.
Love doesn’t always look the same for everyone.
You had kissed multiple times, chant your love for each other constantly, even made a baby together, yet the moment she was out there, with you holding her to your chest, with Rin holding her tiny hand…that moment a glow started to come out of you, a warm welcoming glow, one that made you feel better almost instantly. Not even the birthing pain was there anymore, it felt like seeing the world for the first time once more.
Everything felt more vivid, crisper.
Rin’s gentle touch on your shoulder felt like heaven, you felt so alive, so full of energy, so full of love.
Your daughter’s cries brought you back to reality as a very hungry baby was there waiting for her mother to feed her for the first time.
Rin just couldn’t take his eyes off of her, she was the cutest thing he’s ever seen in his life. A mix of his distinct features, mixed with your softer ones, a true Suna clearly, but he could see you on her little face, and that made his heart feel complete.
He thinks of the days he felt nothing but emptiness, when life was as boring as it could be and all he did was live because he had to, work because he had to and eat because he had to. Those days would never come again.
He had a family of his own now, and his lovely wife had developed the cutest fox ears he’s got to pleasure to see around just now, meaning he would have you for a very long time. He didn’t have to worry about the short lifespan of humans anymore, and his daughter was the last piece of the puzzle needed to get you back to health.
Life has a funny way to teach you things. Sometimes you think you have it all, sometimes you think you have nothing at all, but everything comes when it has to come not a minute early, not a minute late, and happiness is one of those things.
Turns out the blessing is just the result or the outcome of true love, whatever form that might take for the ones involved. There was no recipe, no book to follow. Of course, not everyone can get it regardless of the love they have for each other, the fact that you were the one destined to save the village had much to do with this. But at the end of the day, true love is what saved you and true love has different ways of showing itself.
As for Suna Rintarou that moment was when he got to hold in his arms the love of his life and the result of their undying love, his beautiful daughter, that moment when time stopped itself just for him to be able to memorize the scene for eternity. That moment he understood what being truly in love and connected with someone really meant.
She was just the first one of many to come though, but that’s a story for another day~
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amjustagirl · 2 years
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chapter 7: one step forward (a million steps back)
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chapters: 7 / 15 pairing: miya osamu x f! reader genre: romance, angst, fluff, inarizaki shenanigans wc: 2.8k summary: miya osamu does not dare set fire to his heart. it burns anyway.
(prev / next)
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Swapping the backdrop from the rural countryside to the bustling metropolis does not dampen your feelings for Miya Osamu in any way. 
You’d always thought he was attractive with his strong chin, the sturdy sweep of his shoulders but now your gaze lingers on him more and more, appreciating the openness of his smile, the warmth of his eyes. His heart is too big to cram into his chest, and you like him all the more for it - the consideration he pays to his staff (and you), the gruff love he shows his family, the genuine care he gives to his guests. It scares you, how much you love - like him, craving for his attention, his friendship suddenly insufficient when you want more. Your name sounds beautiful when he says it, even though you’ve always hated it (a relic of your past), and you stand a little taller, smile a little wider when he’s anywhere near you.
“So, the boss huh.” Suzuki states with a motherly pat to your shoulders. “Finally.”
The rest of the staff seem to share her sentiment, nudging you forward whenever they see the opportunity to leave you and Osamu alone, elbowing you with grins whenever Osamu smiles at you, nodding approvingly whenever he offers to walk you home (or to the night shift) after late nights at the restaurant. 
You’re a terrible liar so you just shrug helplessly, biting your bottom lip. “Not that I know what to do”, you admit. 
Which is true. You’ve had crushes before - handsome boys who accompany their parents to your father’s sushi restaurant, classmates who were unattainable, out of reach but you’d put them on a pedestal, imagining how you’d enjoy being one half of a couple, holding hands, sharing smiles. But this is different. You’ve never had anyone you actually, truly, really like for who they are, and there’s so so much to like about Miya Osamu. 
Suzuki’s expression turns sympathetic when you confess all of this to her, your voice small, unsure. “I’ll help you”, she promises. “The boss needs something more than just work in his life, and I bet he probably feels the same way about you. From the way he looks at you, at least.” 
“You think so?” you ask, but she doesn’t bother giving you a response, sending out texts on her phone at machine gun speed, and the next thing you know, she’s roped in Kaiyo and the entire staff (who’s itching to get involved anyway) to aid in the mission of capturing the elusive heart of one Miya Osamu. 
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Step one - feed the chef. 
Suzuki-san and Kaiyo unanimously pronounce that the way to Miya Osamu’s heart is through his stomach. A tired saying, but one that rings true for the chef-owner of Onigiri Miya.  
“But what am I supposed to cook for him that he can’t already cook for himself?” you protest, though whatever you say falls on deaf ears. 
You consider baking something, but your parents’ old house lacks a working oven, understandable since your parents (and yourself, nowadays) would only retreat home for rest. You consider buying him some upscale delicacy, some sort of expensive cake or mochi or sweet treat of sorts, but it seems needlessly expensive and it’s not like Osamu’s a food snob to begin with. Then you overhear Osamu complaining that he can’t find the time to travel to the Kobe fishmarket to check out what’s on offer this winter deep sea fishing season, and an idea forms in your head. 
He doesn’t have the time, but you do.
So you call in favours from your father’s old business acquaintances, pop down into Kobe before dawn in long unworn wet market boots, returning back to Osaka with your bounty. You stare at the array of fresh seafood. Kani, a whole hairy crab, splayed old, pincers wriggling out at you in an indication it’s still alive. Pearly grey oysters, all unshucked. Yellowtail, the fish still gasping, Madai, the red seabream’s gills glistening in the light. A bagful of shrimp, each impossibly long, perfectly pink. 
You’re not quite sure what to do with them, so you present them all in their box, packed with ice. Like a floral arrangement, a bouquet of seafood to your intended conquest. 
He gapes silently, eyes wide as dinner plates, darting between the box and yourself. “Surprise”, you say needlessly, weakly. 
“It’s too much”, he says at first, but thanks you with boyish enthusiasm, when you explain he’ll only let the food go to waste if he doesn’t take it from you. He throws an impromptu party with staff and family that night with the spoils from your gift, unabashedly asking if you’d show him the best way to prepare the fish. It’s gratifying to watch everyone ooh and aah as the course after course of decadent seafood emerges from the kitchen, more so when he slumps beside you, head down on the countertop in an obvious food coma at the end of the night. 
“What’s the occasion for all of this?” he asks, almost lost to sleep. 
It’s just three simple words, but you chicken out. Courage has never been your strongest suit. “To thank you for being my friend”, you say instead, which is kinda, sorta true. 
“You never need to thank me for that”, he says, before laughing at himself, at the cheesiness of what he’s just said.  
You think otherwise, but you just echo the cadence of his laugh.
(one step forwards, two steps back) 
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Step two - show him affection. 
You’re instructed by Kaiyo and Suzuki-san to express your affection for him. 
“Physically”, Kaiyo says, “since you seem incapable of doing so with words.” 
You feel like telling her that you’ve grown up without the blueprint to showing human affection, especially romantic affection.
“Okay look”, she adds after a few beats of you staring goggle eyed at her. “Just follow what ‘Tsumu and I do, k? You can try hugging him when he walks you home - don’t look at me like that, as if I don’t know that he does, honestly - the two of you act like you’re in high school, but act on your feelings and maybe hold his hand too - “
“You don’t hug Atsumu”, you point out. “You smack him and poke him and tickle him, and occasionally exchange kisses.” 
“That’s what passes for foreplay in his mind -” 
You wince. “I did not need to know that.” 
“But if you wanna kiss Osamu, hey, you do you, I’m a great believer in goin’ out there and taking life by its balls.”
“Baby, I’m sittin’ right here when you’re talkin’ about me and -  please don’t take me by the balls”, Atsumu pleads, covering Shoma’s ears with large hands. “Sounds painful.” 
Kaiyo’s grin is shark-like. Yet Atsumu just gazes at her like a lovelorn puppy. You…admire their marital bliss, but you probably should not take them as role models in lessons of physical affection. Perhaps you can try your best to channel the Kitas instead with their open affection and gentle care for each other. 
So you brush past him in the restaurant when you pass him dishes, greet him with a side hug which he returns with a chuckle when he comes to your place to bring Kombu-chan yet another treat, ruffling his hair when he does his best at baby-talking your haughty cat. You lean into him, chasing the heat his body emits when you leave his shop to fetch some item that’s run out, returning with your shirt translucent, clinging and wet with rain.
“Shoulda made sure you went out with an umbrella”, he mutters, frowning as you shiver. 
His frown deepens as you lose your balance and nearly topple backwards, mind fogging up as he rubs his hands together to generate even more heat before clasping yours between his, so careful and gentle almost as if he’s afraid you might shatter. “I’m okay”, you breathe, but that doesn’t seem to reassure him, because your goosebumps line your flesh, your teeth chattering. 
“Time for you to go home”, he says flatly. 
Suzuki-san gives you a conspiratorial grin when he takes your elbow to escort you home, his arm heavy on your shoulders. “Take care of her”, she calls after him. He doesn’t respond, but the determination in his stride indicates he fully intends to. 
His closeness grounds you and knocks you off your feet at the same time. You don’t even realise that you’re at your front door until he extracts your spare key from beneath your floor mat, Kombu-chan peeping between the gate to investigate. 
“Shower, now”, he orders and you obey without a fight. 
When you emerge, hair towelled dry, skin damp and warm from steam, there’s a warm cup of ginger and honey on the table. Your rice cooker hums, a glistening, perfectly fried egg waiting for you to plop it in your mouth. Ceramic clinks in the metal sink, a pair of wooden chopsticks line your bowl. “Eat, and then sleep”, he says again, mouth pinched. “Don’t want you t’come down with a cold or somethin’ worse.” 
Usually when he shows you any sort of kindness (which is almost too often, because Miya Osamu is the best man you know), you just thank him with varying degrees of politeness and awkwardness, unable to express how actually grateful you are that he’s found you worthy of being nice to, but today, after freezing in the winter’s first rainstorm and dragging yourself through puddles and mud, your reserve peels away. 
“Won’t come down with a cold”, you murmur before winding your arms around Osamu, the man frozen as you pull him into a semblance of a hug. 
You wonder a half-second too late if you’ve overstepped before he relaxes, shoulders carefully settling. You could too easily get used to this, learn to be addicted to this - the feeling of him in your arms, large and strong and sturdy, basking in the heat of his body like sitting cross legged before a fireplace. He smells a little like rain himself, earthy and damp and there’s a hint of sesame oil, fragrant and nutty.  
Then he disentangles himself from you, hands under your arms so he can hold you carefully away from him. You shudder from the sudden loss of warmth, whining under your breath. 
“You’re definitely gonna get sick tomorrow”, he says, brushing a large palm against your overheated forehead, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Bed, now.”
He keeps you at a polite distance, hovers by the threshold to your room as you settle into bed, only crossing it once to bring Kombu-chan in, dropping her onto your lap. “Goodnight”, he murmurs before leaving you behind in darkness, thunder rolling in the horizon. 
You crawl on your knees, tugging the curtains open, letting the tiniest sliver of light into your room as you lie face-up on your bed. Count the cracks in your ceilings, even though you already know the answer. Kombu-chan ends up deserting you and you stay awake for hours, only dropping off to sleep when the rain clears and the moon peeks out behind clouds. 
After that, you’re unable to find any reason to show Osamu any physical affection whatsoever. It’s as if he’s constructed a force field to keep you out, the hair on your arms rising, almost crackling when he skirts around you, as if - as if he’s wary of you. 
Oh, you conclude. You overstepped. 
You apologise the next opportunity you get, but Osamu scrunches his eyebrows together, as if he’s trying to decipher whether he should be confused or offended that you even brought it up. “Don’t be silly”, he waves you off. It’s not clear whether he means it’s truly fine, because he goes back to normal after a while, reaching out to ruffle your hair when you bump his elbow with yours, but you’re not sure what to believe so you just - you just respect the distance he’s put between you. 
(one step forward, three steps back) 
“You two are hopeless”, Kaiyo says crossly after zero progress is made on the chasing Miya Osamu front. “Maybe we should just lock you both in the store room until proximity and time makes you desperate enough to just spit out that you like him, it’s not rocket science, y’know -” 
Atsumu just shakes his head, balancing Shoma on his lap. 
“What!” she exclaims peevishly. “Maybe you could contribute some suggestions, since you and Osamu shared the same womb.” 
“Just grab him and kiss him”, he chortles, dodging a swat from his wife. “Worked like a charm for me.” 
You just look at him with distrust. “I think I’ll pass, thanks”, you demur politely. 
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Step three - date night, just him and you. 
“Maybe you should just be direct and ask him out on a date”, Kaiyo suggests. Suzuki-san nods with approval, and you agree readily, because you’d been facing their ire for failing to tell Osamu your feelings which is far easier said than done, but neither are going to listen to you anyway. So you do, asking him out for dinner on Monday, the only day of the week he’s willing to take a break (enforced by me, Suzuki-san tells you smugly), and he accepts without question. 
It’s a last ditch attempt, a final shot before you’ll throw in the towel, give him up completely. 
“Did you specify it was a date?” Kaiyo asks, face-palming when you admit with a sheepish smile no. 
“It should be obvious!” you protest, because why else would you ask him specifically out for dinner at a fancy restaurant booked out weeks in advance by couples, serving fine French food and good Italian wines, but Osamu proves you wrong.
First, it’s bad enough that he turns up fifteen minutes late, but he sticks out like a sore thumb in jeans and a t-shirt. Second, he looks around and wonders aloud about the coincidence of everyone around you sitting in pairs. Third, and most egregiously, the sin that Kaiyo will slap the back of his head for as punishment, to which he’ll just frown at her, arguing his innocence - 
“D’you mind if a friend joins us tonight? He’s havin’ a tough time.” 
He doesn’t need to look at you with puppy dog eyes, doesn’t need to pout because you’re weak, unable to refuse anything he asks of you. 
“Sure”, you reply. 
That’s how Suna Rintaro, middle blocker of the EJP Raijin and soon-to-be divorcee and single father of one, ends up at your table, an awkward trio in a room full of cooing couples. He sulks through appetisers, pronounces that romance is overrated when the couple next to you shows off their engagement ring to their thoroughly unimpressed waiter, and eyes you with contempt when Osamu slips off to the washroom. 
“He’s not interested. You should take a hint, like the rest of the women clamouring to date him.” 
You splutter into your glass of water, choking out coughs. “I’m not - we’re just - I mean -” He levels a stare at you through feline eyes, decidedly unconvinced. 
“Yeah, right.” Sharp, concise. 
Shame burns through your veins, spreading like quickfire. You regret all of this immediately, whispering your excuses to Osamu when he returns to the table, confused by your sudden haste to leave. The nip of the early winter chill only serves to inflame your regret, making you want to drown yourself into a rain filled puddle.
Kombu-chan noses about your ankles when you stumble home, a bedraggled, sad creature wearing the tatters of her ego, the dregs of her dignity. “At least one of us is happy”, you tell her when you feed her a treat. 
She meows and steps all over you as you lie facedown on the floor. 
Osamu turns up at the end of your shift when you fail to turn up at his shop again, armed with his usual bribe of onigiris and mochi. “Was Suna rude to you, that lil’ shit?” he asks without preamble, face contorting into something ugly, harsh beneath artificial fluorescent lights. 
You lie through your teeth, murmuring a no as you stare at your feet. You don’t even dare to look up at him, not when you’re still smarting from being seen right through by a close friend of his. 
“He said somethin’, didn’t he?” Osamu persists, sighing when you match his stubbornness, shaking your head to pretend otherwise.
Osamu’s too busy, too distracted to spend much time trying to draw out exactly what’s wrong, what’s ailing you (the restaurant’s renovations are almost complete, he tells you, and he’s preparing a soft launch for family and friends, you have to be there of course), so he just walks you home, patting your back and saying “don’t mind Rin, he’s a piece of shit right now cos’ life is kinda rough for him”. 
“There’s nothing to mind, Osamu. Really, I’m fine”, you reply with a cheerfulness that’s decidedly forced.  
“Really?” 
Your stomach always burns when you lie. You pick up Kombu-chan, burying your face in her fur, willing your innards to stop tearing itself into shreds. “You don’t have to worry about me, ‘Samu.” 
You’re lying again, but he doesn’t need to know the truth. 
(one step forward, a million steps back)
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 a/n: oh 'samu. oh suna. oh, poor, poor reader. i put her through the wringer ><
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