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from-izzy · 14 days

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show you the stars | tbz kim sunwoo

“Why's my girl misbehaving today, hm? Shouldn’t you be nice to the birthday boy?”

pairing » the boyz kim sunwoo x fem!reader

trope/au » friends to lovers, (or should i say...) 'friends' to lovers, situationship (?), non-idol au!

genre » very suggestive!! (as compared to my other one), it's kinda fluffy uwu (everyone act surprised), a dash of angst, dom!sunwoo at times, sub!sunwoo at other times, kim sunwoo being whipped and sweet for you, but he's also flustered, he's flirting with you, reader is a bit of a tease and is confident, you're also flustered at times, sunwoo loves you and you love him (again, act surprised), finding love and comfort in each other after past relationships, kim sunwoo who just wants to be close to you

word count, estimated reading time » 4987, 18 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » very suggestive!!, dom! and sub!sunwoo, mentions of unhealthy past relationships, a ton of kissing, making out, marking (teeth and kiss marks; reader receiving), pet names (baby boy, baby girl), reader licks cream off sunwoo, sunwoo licking cream off reader's neck and collarbones, sunwoo is physically bigger and taller, reader has medium to long hair, HIGHLY suggestive at the end, rapid proofread once

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

happy birthday to (one of) the loml 🥰

uhm...

yeah...

so!...yeah...

i'm just gonna go...

The delightful aroma of your hard work fills the volume of Sunwoo’s apartment easily. You've been chopping, stirring and sizzling ingredients for the last two hours, excited for the first birthday that you'll spend together with him.

To elaborate on your relationship with Sunwoo, you're ‘friends’. The explanation would give most people deadpanned looks, accompanied by the raised eyebrows that would follow. Otherwise, others would only facepalm at the stupidity that you both seem to obviously share. Anyone could tell that with the way that you both would drop any conversation that you're in or literally drop the paper cup in your hand whenever the other comes into even slightly just their peripheral vision, that you're more than the label that you both have decided to nonverbally settle for now.

Like your best friend from diapers would say, there's no way those kisses on the forehead, trailing down side to side across your eyelids, back medially down the slope of your nose, along the underside of your jawline, were things that ‘friends do’. Not with the way that Sunwoo would subtly slide his palm down from the comfort of your back to cup one of your bottom cheeks, smirking when he feels the heat radiating from your cheeks.

And for you? You can't help but feel the disappointment in your chest whenever he passes the quiet but rapid breathing of your lips whenever he bypasses them to work on that sensitive spot on your neck, sometimes whispering compliments to the shell of your eyes with that husky, low voice of his—but well, it's not like that anymore.

Friends don’t look at each other’s orbs and are so immersed that they say “I miss you” in the most dewy, honey-dripping voice. In public where they're most disciplined, they don't hold each other’s hands while walking, a thumb smoothing over the other when they’re just walking along the empty night street or the aisle of the grocery store.

Friends don't give each other their spare apartment keys or sweep them off their feet as soon as the front door opens, distracting their worries and other thoughts by locking lips with each other. You would never let any of your other friends carry you in their arms and pull the same blanket that they will use in the night over your body. In the same way, you would never snuggle to the warmth of the person next to you, kissing them a sweet “good night” and “thank you”.

But knowing the manipulation and tears from your past relationship, none of you could bear to address the looming label that others already deem you as. Sunwoo is too scared to ask too, going through the same thing from his past relationship. Through the healing of the break-up that you both had in your respective lives, came the comfort that the other’s lips would give, and he would chase that feeling from you over and over again.

You're okay with how things are now. You respect him and you don’t want to push him or the title that you personally want to have with him. For now, you decided that actions will speak louder than words and when the right time comes, you both will address it without the influence of the outside world.

Today is just one of those days that you use your spare key to use Sunwoo’s kitchen to cook up a little feast. The dining table is decorated with a vase of roses in the middle as you hop between the stove and make sure everything looks presentable. The light dimming system of his house is perfect for the shooting star projector that you aim towards a blank wall. You're satisfied with all the preparation for the main meals, making sure that the moment he walks in through the door, you can cook and plate it up swiftly while it’s still freshly pipping hot.

“Oh gosh,” you're proud of your efforts with the vanilla whipped cream for his cake. “I'm a genius.” You sang variations of the phrase to yourself.

Curse your horrible time management skills because the clock in front of you only reminds you that you have little time until the main key is used on the front door. The sponge cake is assembled quickly, with a thin layer of crumb coating and cooling before you make the smooth layer of cream at the end topped with some chocolate and strawberries.

You stepped back to admire your work, making sure the fruit was on the perfect slope and that the chocolate bar next to it complemented the negative space around the centrepiece. Your hand under the cake was about to slip when you heard the keys rattling from outside and you swore the fridge door hated you by how you had a hard time opening it.

On the other hand, Sunwoo could smell your home-cooked meal a few doors down the hallway. His stomach only grumbled in anticipation but his heart was jumping at the thought of you greeting him behind the door. The smile on his face grew, his overgrown bangs tickling his eyelids with his rushed footsteps towards the door.

The sweet scent of your perfume is what he manages to pick up first, and he remembers how his time was well spent when he was shopping for the bottle for you.

“I'm home.” Something that he has always loved to say, hating the lack of light in his house after a long day at work. His fingers were about to switch the light on but your shout stops him halfway.

Your body crashed against his before he could comprehend. Sunwoo groans a little at how his back hit the door behind him but his palms settled on your hips lovingly while your arms were wrapped around his middle, face hidden to his chest, nose inhaling your favourite cologne.

Chuckling at your small apology, his fingers raised to tug at the hair tie around your ponytail. He tugs down on the elastic, now savouring the scent of your perfume and shampoo. It left you goosebumps with the way Sunwoo massaged your scalp, his other hand untucking his tight shirt that he gave you, from your skirt so that the pad of his thumb could feel your skin better.

“Happy birthday, baby boy,” exhaling at the gentle swipes of his thumb on your waist.

“Thank you, baby girl,” trailing kisses from the top of your head to the side of your head. You tried to escape from the ticklish feeling but his arm wrapped around you, keeping your lower bodies flush against each other, “Where do you think you're going?”

You giggle at his lips down the side of your face, his breaths reaching the crook of your neck as he takes comfort there. It's only now that you realise the fabric of his material, is no longer the white collared polyester. Your heated cheeks brushed against the metal around his neck and Sunwoo could feel the start of your complaints from your deep inhale.

So he closes the gap and kisses you to quiet you down.

He ignores the little muted surprised sound from you, pulling away only slightly to smirk at you before diving in deeper. His palm grips on the curve of your waist, keeping you in control. He whispers for you to pull him closer by the neck and he knows the roll of your eyes isn't an indication of annoyance. Your lips danced between his, a hand over his nape to pull him down, your other palm cupping his cheek as you tried to control his hunger for you.

“Sunwoo,” Slightly out of breath, “What are you wearing?”

As if he didn't see the deadpanned look on your face when he decides to give your poor lungs a break, he leisurely answers, “This is the suit and tie of someone who decided to leave the desk early,” fingers hooking around the metal chain around his neck whilst simultaneously peering down at you with a raised eyebrow and a smirk, “so that he could look hot for his birthday and his girl.”

You couldn't deny that. Shamelessly, you let your eyes roam over the somewhat tight shirt that he has. His pectoral muscles are defined with the grey stretchy fabric and the silver accessory around him only made him all the more irresistible. Kim Sunwoo knows how to make you swoon, styling his hair lazily with his strands covering his field of view.

Sunwoo makes it known that your stare is invited, loving the attention that his special day gets him. You're looking at him so delicately that his smug confidence falters into a softer look. His lips form a straight line but the moment your eyes meet his, there's a deep resonating chuckle from his chest, a happiness that spreads to you.

“Let's go eat?” With an affirmative hum and a quick peck, Sunwoo lets your body go and links with your palm, letting you guide him deeper into his house.

As soon as his eyes take a glance at your work, he's momentarily still. From the tablecloth draped over his table to the stars on his wall when he realises, you remember his wish to make a wish to the star. He's always found the idea to be a bit innocent, unlike his relationship with you but the fact that you kept it in mind, and how his grip on your hand only tightens, tells everyone that Kim Sunwoo is ready for more.

He daydreams of a day when he would kiss you awake, and how you're the last voice he would hear before falling asleep. How you'll greet him when he opens the door and kisses all over his face and more. How he’ll be able to spend his money spoiling you instead of only spending it on himself. How you’ll be his number one and how you’ll be his. These thoughts have roamed his head for a very long time and he used to keep it in, hide it for the sake of not ruining whatever you two have.

But with the way that you would kiss his nape as a greeting whenever he would be sitting down in front of you, or the way you would sit down on his lap and crane his neck up to meet his lips with yours. How the heated sessions would only flare up more when he sneaks his fingers around the band of your bra, and the whole intimacy that you show each other—Kim Sunwoo is undoubtedly in love with you.

Besides the intimacy, it’s the things you do for him. Namely, it’s the view of his house right now and the welcoming scent of his favourite food that you prepared for him. It’s even more precious to Sunwoo as he knows that you do this even when it isn’t a special day. You have done this whenever he would hint how much he misses you and you would show up to mend his tired heart the next minute. It’s not just the kisses and skin on skin. If you stopped guiding him to his designated chair and looked back at him right now, you would see that lovesick look on his face.

Sunwoo offers to clean up the space whilst you’re cooking but you quickly refuse, saying that he should take a rest, even if it’s for a while. After a few tries, Sunwoo finally listens to you, sitting down where you want him to. He takes this time to admire your decorations, snapping electronic memories of his surroundings and taking extra shots of the wall that seem so much more inviting with the video of falling lights.

His eyes are stuck there, entranced by the view. You see from across the room how he readjusts his position and closes his eyes. Your heart swells with that, keeping the view of his head down slightly as he mouths inaudible words to the stars you projected. When he opened his eyes, you diverted back to dinner, happiness evident in your face at he appreciated your work.

While you focused on the pan, Sunwoo found a couple of metres gap between you cooking and him sitting too far away, so he took a seat from the other side of the kitchen island, the significant piece that separated you two. Soon enough, you pout at the return of the multiple camera sounds, this time louder and clearer. You tried to lean over the island to snatch his phone away and Sunwoo mirrored the playful smile on your face.

“Behave,” he knew it worked like a charm when he saw you flustered. Your outreached wrist from your attempt only gets caught up with him and Sunwoo draws you in closer while he leans in to meet you in the middle. The dim lights overhead set the mood more as they angle the shadows and highlight all the kissable parts of your face and Sunwoo swears he could kiss you all night. You watch the gulp down his throat and his stern eyes drifting to the knobs of the stovetop to turn off the fire. Kim Sunwoo is no longer playful like a minute ago.

You’ll admit that he sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach but it didn’t stop the tugging of the corner of your lips and Sunwoo’s eyes widening when you decided to turn off the fire but never returned to him. Sunwoo lets out an amused scoff at the way you cross your arms over your chest, leaning your back on the free space next to the stove.

His eyes narrow to you, a tongue poking his inner cheek at your sudden surge of confidence, “Now,” You watch him turning his body sideways, walking along the opposite side of the island towards you. He stays silent for a bit longer, letting you know that a question is coming; and that he wants answers to it. Copying your gesture, Sunwoo leans before you not even a metre and nothing separating you anymore. “Why's my girl misbehaving today, hm? Shouldn’t you be nice to the birthday boy?”

“You really want me to be ‘nice’?” You shake your head, finding the statement amusing, “You love it when I play with you like this. What's life without a bit of misbehaviour?”

The boy couldn’t even get a word out when you suddenly took a big step towards him. Your palms rest on the edge of the table, caging his figure. You purposely lean into his chest, eyelashes subtly fluttering underneath the still orange lamp from above. There was no longer a chance that Sunwoo could think straight anymore. Not with the way that just like before, you cradled the underside of his jawline.

However, your hold on him this time is different. It didn’t feel like you were going to pull him and have your kiss marks all over his skin like the way he would never refuse to when you asked. The confused lines between his eyebrows only deepen more when you just keep staring at him with a dazed look in his confused orbs but it’s then that he sees a glimmer of hope for the relationship that you both could share.

It may have been the light or it may have been the reflection of his own eyes or—and this is what he hopes—it’s the glimmer and stars in your eyes that you hold as you look at him at the moment. Sunwoo tries his best to understand your unspoken feelings but his train of thought is cut short when he registers the dollop of coolness on the left side of his jawline.

His breath hitches in his throat when your right hand hooks around his necklace and you latch your lips around the cream on his face. Your tongue swipes the food off his skin, alternating between kitten licks and long swipes. Your left-hand swipes the wall of the metal bowl behind him, trailing down a path that you would soon wipe clean. Sunwoo shudders, his light moan hitting your ear and his little whiny begs encourage you to keep going.

Your breath hitting his skin would normally rile him to put you in your place but all he could do with his lower back digging against the edge of the table is to clench his hands onto your mid-outer thighs to stabilise himself.

“God…” Sunwoo calls out when he opens his eyes to meet your daring ones. “You're so beautiful.”

“Enjoying this?” And he responds with a harsher grip, hands raising and starting to lift your skirt to your upper thighs.

The coolness of the cream, followed by your light alternations of sucking and kissing on his skin, and the way the air cools the area after is perfect and Sunwoo’s head tilts back in satisfaction.

Too bad you wouldn't let him because you finished trailing his jawline, stealing a kiss straight to his subtle, hungry lips. The taste of vanilla and the pressure of your lips makes his head light and the room seems like it's spinning. But now, it's his turn and you know it with the way he pushes you away with all the strength he has left in him. He bends down to wrap his arm around your mid-thigh that has crescents of his nail on your skin and he sits you on the countertop and slots himself between your knees.

Sunwoo’s eyes are darker than the night outside but it doesn't fear you at all. You're now the one caged between him but unlike Sunwoo, you knew you didn't have any strength to push him away—nor did you want to. You bite your lower lips when he starts tugging your left sleeve down your shoulder to have more area to work with.

“My turn, baby girl,” metal against marble is heard next to you and Sunwoo uses his pointer and middle fingers to scoop the sweet white.

A smirk comes up his face when you grow visibly weaker for him, your posture faltering underneath his dominating presence. Sunwoo held your chin between his thumb and ring finger and applied a thin layer between your open mouth.

“Take a deep breath for me.” And you did so almost immediately.

You soon found out that the deep breath is needed as Sunwoo not only takes your breath away by covering your mouth with his own but that he multitasks to smear the food all over your neck and collarbone area. Unlike you who preferred things to be more uniform and clean, Sunwoo loves how you squirm and whimper under him with multiple senses. His fingers traced the horizontal line of your collarbones first before he came up and around the side and front of your neck less uniformly; he’s getting impatient now. You soon found out that the skin he exposed earlier wasn’t so that he could have a reason to place his tongue there, he’s just hungry for more of you, wanting to feel every part of you, just like how his tongue pushes against yours.

You find his little huffs of annoyance endearing as he mumbles about how the lack of oxygen has him pulling away from him showing his love. In reality, it was just a few seconds, but every second without you felt like a lifetime to him. He cleans the last bit of cream on his pants and he finally detaches his lips from you.

Sunwoo straightens his posture, looming dominance over your wrecked mind and half-lidded eyes. A hanging weak string of saliva still connects you both in the air for a minute and his right hand wraps around your left forearm in place. You didn’t mind his sticky fingers that started to brush the strands of your hair from the top of your nape. It’s a lovely feeling from the adrenaline he gave you but he raises your heartbeat once more when he plays with the wind to your ears, “Tasting lovely, baby girl.”

Nothing else is said as his lips dive into the sweet trail that he made for himself. Your body reacts to the sudden warmth by pulling away, but his hold on your shoulder reminds you of your place to stay where you are. The same hand reaches to drip on his elbow for mind stabilisation but your free one pushes against the broad of his back. Your legs hook around the back of his thighs to feel him indefinitely closer. It seems like the boy has learnt quickly, especially when it’s from you because just like the way you made him see the stars on the ceiling, he made you see it but with more intensity and brightness.

Sunwoo loves unpredictability over anything, even though he appreciates how you value the opposite. One of the reasons he appreciates it is because he knows what to anticipate next whenever you both feel each other, and he loves the building climax. But you who is receiving his unpredictableness, can only curse him out whenever he tries something new on the body that he has come to be familiar of. The thrill of your groans and whines makes him feel in control and just like any other time, Sunwoo didn’t hesitate to plant something new on the curve of your neck. You sharply gasp at the way his teeth very lightly plunged into you but whimper louder at how he hallows his cheek on the area. From the corner of your eyes, you see the vein of his neck start to appear with his actions.

“You’re right.” He pulls away slightly to admire a part of him on you before diving again to properly clean your skin. “I do love you like this.”

Your lips are trembling in pleasure too much to string in proper words so you only whine to his acknowledgement. When one side of your neck is clean, he doesn’t bother keeping his touch to himself, briefly swiping anything that he can get on the way to the other side of your neck. Kim Sunwoo drives you crazy and your legs around his body tighten for another attempt to stabilise yourself.

Your jaw slacks when he bites again, this time just a tiny bit stronger as a response to your lower body. He lets you drop your head back, hand still on your nape so that he has control over the area he’s marking and maximises the pleasure that he can give. The tip of his tongue starts to alternate between the sucking and long stripes that you did to him. A satisfied chuckle hits a sensitive part around your collarbone area when Sunwoo feels his shirt further define his pectoral as you clench his fabric in your fist.

Ragged breaths along with a mixture of wet kisses are all that’s bouncing between the four walls. Flushed bodies and heated skin press against the two who are afraid to love again. You’re aware of his heart pounding against his chest, knocking on yours to let him in. The closer he travels down to your chest, you’re afraid that he will feel the pounding, afraid that your hidden desires may show through and be overwhelming for him. The meaning behind your clench changes in time that your skin is now littered with a different colour because of his actions. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, exhaling and stepping back to admire his work.

You do the same, chest raising rapidly to account for the lost air, taking advantage of the space now that he’s pulled away. Sunwoo couldn’t help the small chuckle at your pout and he wipes them away by granting you another kiss, palms resting on the edge of the table, trapping you once more. Your noses comically bumped into each other, still lightheaded from before but you enjoy the atmosphere that would always come along after the intensity you poured out to each other. Your legs relax between his figure and both your hands delicately cradle his cheeks.

The realisation strikes again: all you want is him.

Him and everything of him.

The thought of him kissing someone else churns your stomach and makes you green, even though he’s not yours. You didn’t want anyone else cupping his cheek the way you do, and you didn’t want to see anyone else next to you when you opened your eyelids to the song of the morning birds. You want to be greeted by his chest or hairline when he needed comfort the night before. You want his “I love you”s and “I’ll miss you”s even if one of you is just going to another room in the building. You want to be the person that he can always lean on for whatever and whenever. You want him to be the person that you can cry ugly to. The wishes filled your body as you wished he would kiss you like this forever with or without the title that you would love to establish.

You feel the clenching of your heart when you open your eyes with the final pull of the remnants of vanilla, greeted with the shimmering orbs that you’ve fallen in love with. Your eyes are stuck onto the smile lines around his face and he’s entranced with every single part of you, staring at you with the honey dripping from his eyes. The smile you offer him is bashful and slightly tense. Of course, he caught up to that, humming at the sight of your pretty head filled with worries. His thumb glazes upon the apple of your cheeks and you wish he didn’t just so that you could save yourself from heartbreak.

Kim Sunwoo makes you believe that love is worth it; that you’re worth it.

You wish you were more confident to tell him that.

Sunwoo leans his forehead onto yours, eyes planted on your downcasted gaze, “Hey, can I tell you what I wished for at the shooting stars?” but you only hum back, refusing to look at him, “Can you let me be the only person to touch, hold and kiss you like that?” There was a moment of silence as Sunwoo let you register his words. When it does click to you, your eyes shot up to his. A nervous chuckle is what he offers you but he doesn’t plan to take his words back, “It’s okay if you’re not ready. I’ll wait for you. But,” he swallows the anxiety down his throat, letting his face roam around your slightly confused face, “I can't stand the thought of someone else littering kisses all over you other than me.”

It’s genuine.

Kim Sunwoo’s eyes are different than any of the eyes that you once put your trust in.

It’s obvious.

“Jealous?” It was supposed to be more striking and playful but it turned out to be more tiring and insecure.

Again, he caught up to it and decided to carry on the narrative of your words with a careful tone, “You’d be fine with other girls running their tongues all over my face?”

The mention of your past actions started the multiple offences to his chest and the poor boy loves the flustered look on your face, complaints flying out of your mouth. In this moment when you both indulge in the comfortable relationship that you share, your posture relaxes and your hands rest on your laps. Shortly, Sunwoo joins his own there, fingers intertwining between yours and just like how he soothes the heaviness that you hold internally, his thumbs swipe across the back of your hand.

“If you do, I won’t let you off easily, Kim Sunwoo.”

You hope that he realises the real implication behind the words. Sunwoo’s brain buffered a little bit but soon enough, the straight line shape of his lips raised into something more. Along with it, his naturally mischievous personality also raised his eyebrows. “That’s my girl.”

You couldn’t help the giggle at how his face flush red after, bashful at the effect you had on him. Your fingers brush along the ends of his hair that seems to get in the way of his eyes.

“You should cut them or something.”

“I look hot like this though.”

“You always look hot.”

And there comes little shy Kim Sunwoo once more.

“I-Instead of flirting with me, why do you grant my other wish instead?”

“Oh yeah?” You lean back on the table, hands behind you for support, “I granted you your wish, shouldn’t you grant mine first before you ask for another one?”

“How about I grant them both at the same time?”

“You don’t even know what I want.”

True.

As much as Kim Sunwoo has been paying attention to you, you’ve always been the girl to never fully express what they want despite the encouragement from your loved ones that they will always stand beside you no matter what. An idea brews in his head when you lean back and he catches the glimpse of the white rays shooting out from the sky behind you. You know with the way that his tongue swipes along his bottom lip, mouth slightly agape that he’s up to no good.

His hand leaves the marble you’re on, drawing closer to the side of your thigh to your waist. Innocently, he displays his big, round eyes to you and his actions contradict them heavily. A few of his fingers slip past not only the waistband of your skirt but also the fabric underneath it. You thought he would stop his ministrations there but his other hand traces the same path on the other side of your body, this time however even though his hand did not go under the underband, the clip behind clicks open.

“You can’t wish for anything until I show you the stars.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here or removed!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @sanaxo-o

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raibebe · 24 days

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Genre: smut Words: 4.882 Prompt: fratboy Sunwoo x fem. reader

Warnings: sub Sunwoo, dom reader, cameo of drunk Eric, oral (m & f receiving), unsafe sex, under-negotiated kink, marking (hickeys), cum eating (m), subdrop (kind of), aftercare, Sunwoo is very needy, Sunwoo is a good boy, Sunwoo goes sort of non-verbal he's so fucked out

A/N: After the most stressful 3 days of my entire life (this is a joke), I present to you: THIS. I don't know how this happened, I just looked at Sunwoo and it awoke something within me.

Special thanks to my cheerleader @starlitmark who always had great words of encouragement and got me through this <3

Not betaed - rip.

You didn’t quite remember how you got here - One moment you were admiring the plush lips of a guy with an almost boyish charm from across the living room of a frat house, the music so loud you could barely hear your own thoughts, only to be roped into playing spin the bottle by your friend Eric to then be locked away in the pantry for seven minutes with said guy with plush lips minutes later.

“I didn’t quite catch your name,” you broke the slightly awkward silence between the two of you in the dark room after Eric’s cackling had died down once he had locked the door. “Sunwoo,” he answered and judging by the sound, he took another swing from his beer. Your eyes hadn’t fully adjusted to the darkness, so you were only really able to see his silhouette leaning against the cabinet.

“You haven’t done this before, right?” You giggled as you inched closer to him, carefully slotting your body against his so you wouldn’t startle him. “We have seven minutes in here,” Sunwoo replied, his breath hitching when you took the can of beer from his hand and carelessly put it on one of the shelves so you could place his hand on your waist instead. “Mhmm,” you hummed and placed your hands on his chest to feel his muscles beneath the damned compression shirt he was wearing, “It’s probably just five-ish minutes left by now.” “Then we should make use of that time,” he concluded, tightening his grip on your waist before leaning in, his breath fanning over your lips but never connecting them, giving you an out if you didn’t want to.

But oh - how did you want to know how his plush lips felt on your body.

“Yeah, we should,” you agreed before closing the gap between you in a gentle kiss to his pillowy soft lips. The first few kisses were almost chaste, both of you just testing the waters but when Sunwoo let out a little sigh, a shiver rolled down your spine and you just had to gently sink your teeth into his lower lip. “Fuck,” he cursed, one of his hands finding your jaw so he could angle it to deepen the kiss as well as pushing you harder against his body so you could feel his heart hammering inside his chest.

When he licked at the seam of your lips, you easily opened up for him, matching his hunger for more, greedy to lick the cheap beer from his tongue. Enticed by the little sounds of pleasure Sunwoo let out, you let your hands roam his body, mapping out the strong build of his muscles before burying your hands in his thick hair and pulling.

With a gasp and a wet smack of your lips, you broke the kiss, both of you panting loudly. Now that your eyes had adjusted to the dark, the small strip of light coming from beneath the door was enough to see how wet and swollen Sunwoo’s lips had become and how you had destroyed his meticulously styled hair. He looked - for a lack of a better word - thoroughly fucked out already which made you dizzy with power. The high-pitched whine he let out when he tried to kiss you again but you held him back with the grip you still had on his hair only aroused you further, a dark chuckle slipping past your lips.

“Say please,” you whispered right against his lips. “Please,” Sunwoo immediately repeated, his voice small and needy and his eyes pleading. “Good boy,” you praised him, swallowing the moan that ripped from his throat with another filthy kiss, not a care in the world about how sloppy the kiss turned with both of your neediness. Neither of your hands could stay still, tugging on your clothes, raking through your hair, trying to get the other to release more sounds of pleasure.

You were so close to unbuckling his belt there and then, already addicted to how his skin felt beneath your fingertips when the door to the pantry suddenly burst open and a slightly more drunk than before Eric loudly yelled “Yooooo, time’s up, lovebirds” while he obnoxiously wiggled his eyebrows.

Slowly you pulled your hands from beneath Sunwoo’s shirt, keeping your nails on his skin in hopes of getting another reaction out of him but he was frozen in place, like a deer caught in the headlights. “Hey,” you gently called out to him, taking a step back.

“Bro, no way,” Eric suddenly burst out laughing which was what finally got Sunwoo to move, a deep blush spreading on his cheeks. Before you could grasp what was happening, he pushed past you and out of the pantry, shoving a still giggling Eric out of the way.

“What was that about?” You asked, still confused. “Bro,” Eric began, wrapping an arm around you and heavily leaning his weight onto you, “Dude, he got hard from just a little making out.” “You’re drunk.” “Dude, I know what a boner looks like.” “So you enjoy looking at other men’s crotches and their boners?” That made Eric sputter and choke on his own spit. “That’s not-“ “But that’s what it sounded like,” you singsonged, plucking his drink from his hands and dunking the contents into the kitchen sink. He had enough for now.

“Bro, I’m just telling you-“ “So what? I could probably get you hard in less than seven minutes as well.” To that, Eric didn’t have a proper rebuttal, his mouth opening and closing like he was a fish out of water.

“Now tell me, which room is his?”

Up where the guys’ rooms were, the music wasn’t as loud as it was downstairs, only the heavy bass permeating the walls and floor. Without knocking, you opened the last door to the left which Eric had let you know led to Sunwoo’s room. To his luck, he hadn’t been lying and Sunwoo was lying on his messy bed, staring at the ceiling, only looking up when he heard the lock of the door clicking shut.

“Guests are not supposed to be up here,” he simply said with a monotone voice, turning his dark eyes back to the ceiling, “There’s a sign at the stairs.” “I saw. I can leave if you want me to.”

But Sunwoo never told you to leave - as a matter of fact - he didn’t say anything. Giving him time to sort out what was going on inside his head, you looked around his room. It was nothing special albeit tidier than you had expected from a fratboy. Before you could snoop and figure out what books were scattered over his desk between a half-eaten bowl of ramen, Sunwoo sat up on his bed, planting his feet on the little rug next to it.

“I-“ he started but didn’t follow through, a frustrated sigh leaving his lips. “Take your time,” you tried to encourage him, closing the distance between you to stand between his legs so you could tilt his chin up to meet his beautiful eyes. For a little while you got lost in each other’s eyes before Sunwoo broke the eye contact to study his jeans instead, picking at some loose threads.

“Hey,” you called him out gently, placing your hand on his cheek to guide his face to look up at you again. With a deep sigh, words finally tumbled from Sunwoo’s lips: “Listen, I’m sorry for running. I just- I got embarrassed. Like who gets hard just from some kissing?” Despite his clear frustration with himself and being embarrassed, Sunwoo leaned into your touch, letting his eyes flutter closed.

“I’d be more offended if you didn’t,” you admitted softly, gently caressing his face. At that, Sunwoo’s eyes shot wide open. “What?” “I liked what happened down there too,” you simply said in lieu of an answer as you straddled his lap, your knees bracketing his hips. “I think I like you,” you added with a sultry lilt in your voice, “And how you react to me.”

To prove your point, you moved your thumb to Sunwoo’s lips, gently putting pressure until he parted them to take your thumb in his mouth and to curl his tongue around the digit, never breaking the heavy eye contact.

“Just like that,” the praise easily fell from your lips when he let his mouth fall open as you pressed down on his tongue. “What are you doing to me?” He whispered once his mouth was free again. “Anything you want me to,” you promised, carding your other hand through his hair to gather the locks at the back to force his head back, giving you a gorgeous view of his stretched-out neck that begged to be decorated by your kisses.

Leaning in, you heard Sunwoo suck in a breath through his teeth that he released shakily when you pressed your lips to his fluttering pulse, slowly connecting it to his jaw and to his ear with a row of kisses.

“What do you want?” You rasped. “Kiss me?” “Say it with please.” “Kiss me please.”

This time, there was no build-up. No testing the waters or chaste kisses leading up to more open-mouthed kisses. No, this time, your lips met with desperation from the get-go and Sunwoo greedily swallowed the surprised sound you let out before you were able to match his pace, using the grip you still had on his hair and a hand on his jaw to steady yourself, very thankful that he had your waist in a vice-grip so you wouldn’t topple over.

“You drive me crazy,” he rasped when you parted for air, nudging your head back so he could lick a filthy stripe up your jaw before he nipped at your skin, not quite hard enough to leave lasting marks but the promise alone was enough to have your head spinning. “You can mark me,” you sighed and pushed Sunwoo’s bangs from his eyes in a way too tender manner so you could see them widen in shock before they fell closed again when he busied his mouth with sucking hickeys into your skin.

Letting your hands roam again, you slipped them beneath his tight shirt to feel his skin again, raking your nails down the divots of his abs. You could feel his groan more than you actually heard it, muffled against the skin of your throat. “Get this thing off,” you demanded, grabbing the edge of his shirt and wrestling it over his head, revealing miles of smooth skin and collar bones that were simply made to sink your teeth into. “You too,” Sunwoo whispered, adding a desperate “please” when you didn’t immediately do so.

“Good boy,” the praise dripped from your lips like the sweetest honey so you could revel in the shudder that went through Sunwoo at the pet name. With a confident grin on your face, you pulled your shirt over your head as well, leaving you in just your bra. “Beautiful,” Sunwoo mumbled absent-mindedly, his hands hovering in the air before he put them on your waist again, squeezing as if to remind himself that you were real. “Yeah, you are,” you agreed, pressing your palm flat to the middle of his chest to push him back down onto the mattress. Before he could protest, you pressed a kiss to his sternum, slowly making your way up his chest, only shortly getting sidetracked by the subtle muscle.

Despite your efforts, none of Sunwoo’s heavenly sounds of pleasure reached your ears, so when you checked on him, you saw that he had buried his teeth in his bottom lip to muffle his sounds.

“Let me hear you,” you asked softly, pressing a kiss just over his heart. “It’s embarrassing,” he whined, hiding his face in his hands. “It’s not,” you promised, straightening up so you could kiss his hands to coax them away from his face, “I like hearing what makes you feel good.” “I- I like- Mark me? Just not-“ “Not where everyone can see?” You finished the sentence for him. “Mhm,” he nodded, “Words are hard.” “Yeah?” You couldn’t help but giggle fondly, so endeared by Sunwoo’s way of speaking in pout that you had no choice but to kiss him again, softer this time. “Squeeze my hand then. Once for yes and twice for no,” you suggested, intertwining your fingers with his that he immediately squeezed once.

Swallowing down the urge to coo at him, you instead pressed a feather-light kiss to his lips, teasing him when he chased after the feeling with a quick peck.

Ignoring his displeased grumbling, you instead kissed from the corner of his mouth down to his jaw, his throat and his collarbones where you finally gave in to the urge to bite him. And finally, you got to hear Sunwoo moan again. Little sighs and deep groans blurred together in a beautiful symphony as you decorated his skin in red and purple petals in the shape of your lips. “Please,” he pressed out when you finally let up to admire your handiwork, meanly pressing your thumb into a particularly dark spot right beneath his collarbone just to hear his breath hitch and make him squirm beneath you, which in turn shifted your attention to another area when he started rolling his hips against your body.

“Right here?” You asked sickenly sweet as you let your hand trail down his torso, playfully tapping his belt before cupping him over his pants. Instead of answering or squeezing your other hand for a yes, Sunwoo instead rolled his hips up harder, his mouth hanging open and his eyes squeezed shut.

“Should we take these off?” This time, Sunwoo seemed to remember what you had established as a yes and he immediately squeezed your hand hard. “Yeah?” You giggled, earling another squeeze and a pleading look from his big, dark eyes. “Okay,” you mouthed, letting go of his hand so you could make quick work of his belt and pull his jeans as well as his briefs off of his narrow hips.

The moment his clothes hit the floor, Sunwoo was already squirming, his hips chasing friction that was no longer there. “So needy,” you smiled, trailing your fingers from his knees to the inside of his toned thighs, feeling how the muscles worked beneath the skin to not close his legs. “Good boy.” Sunwoo only responded to the praise with another needy whine, his hips lifting off the bed. Smiling, you crawled back up the bed, keeping your eyes on his pleading ones as you pressed your lips to the skin of his pelvis, right next to where his cock lay hard against his skin.

With scrambling hands, Sunwoo interlaced your fingers again, squeezing them tightly. “Try to stay still for me, okay?” You asked with another kiss, this time near the base of his cock which ripped another groan from his lips, sounding almost frustrated. But nevertheless, he squeezed your hand again once and that was all the confirmation you needed to lick a stripe from the base of his cock all the way up to the flushed and glistening tip, welcoming the tangy taste of his precum on your tongue.

“Pleeease, please, please,” Sunwoo whispered almost like a mantra, his head thrown back and his dark hair fanned out around him like some sort of tainted halo.

With a fond smile on your lips, you squeezed his hand once before taking the sensitive tip between your lips, reveling in the low moan Sunwoo let out. Slowly you took in more of his length, building up a torturous rhythm and keeping your cheeks hollowed on the upstroke, never forgetting to pay extra attention to the head of his cock: Running your tongue along the crown or toying with the slit until the taste of precum was strong on your tongue.

“More, please. Faster. I- I need-“ With an obscene pop, you let Sunwoo’s cock fall from your lips and let it slap against his skin with a wet sound. “Please,” he pleaded again when you didn’t say anything, simply enjoying the power you had over him as you traced a vein on the underside of his cock before rubbing your pointer finger around the head. “More?” “Wanna cum,” Sunwoo pouted and gods did he look both adorable and like sin personified. “And what about me, hm?” You asked lowly, climbing up the bed so you could see eye to eye again and watch how his blown-out eyes widened.

Just when you thought he was about to blurt out an apology, you wrapped your fingers around his cock, stroking him in a tight fist and effectively shutting him up, broken moans tumbling past his lips instead of words.

“Hm? Baby? What about me?” “Any- Hah- Anything- Fuck- Anything you want,” Sunwoo managed to press out between sounds of pleasure as you quickened your pace, twisting your palm around the sensitive head before stroking his length again. “You think you can fuck me, baby? Make me cum on your cock?” Forgoing his words again, Sunwoo just squeezed your hand again and vigorously nodded his head. “Are you sure?” You teased, halting in your movements to jerk him off. “Show me, baby. Show me how you’d fuck me.”

With a broken whine and his eyes squeezed shut again, Sunwoo did as you asked, slowly rolling his hips up before he quickened his pace and fucked into your hand with short strokes, chasing the loose friction of your hand. “Inside, please,” he panted, forcing his eyes to meet your heated gaze again, “Want it.”

“Kiss me first,” you demanded and Sunwoo didn’t waste a single second, crashing your lips together and eagerly licking the taste of his own precum from your tongue. While you tried to match his overeager pace, he busied himself with trying to work your pants open and to shimmy them down your legs all while being hellbent on not stopping to kiss you even for a single moment.

“Sunwoo,” you giggled fondly when he let out a frustrated growl because he just couldn’t get your pants past your thighs, “Let me.” With a tender kiss, you leaned back just enough that you could wiggle free from your pants and panties which were probably ruined at this point by your own arousal. Before your pants even hit the ground, Sunwoo was all over you again, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your throat while his hands mapped out your body, making quick work of your bra before exploring the newly discovered skin.

Now it was your turn to needily moan while Sunwoo proved that he knew how to do more with his mouth than just kiss and leave marks all over your throat as he gently took your nipple between his teeth before soothing the sting with his tongue, rolling the hardened nub against the wet muscle. You were so distracted by how good his mouth felt on your boobs that you got startled when he sneaked a hand between your legs. “I’m sorry-“ he tried to apologize but you immediately cut him off. “You just surprised me,” you reassured him and opened your legs for him, “Keep going.” Tentatively, Sunwoo reached down again, his eyes never leaving your face like he was determined to catch every single one of your reactions.

With two fingers, he carefully searched out your wetness, his eyes widening almost comically when he found you basically dripping. “Look what you did to me,” you breathed out, not able to keep your voice from shaking when Sunwoo spread your wetness around further, coating his fingers before he carefully fucked one finger inside you, all the way up until the last knuckle with little to no resistance thanks to how ridiculously turned on you were.

“That’s it,” you urged him on when he slowly moved his finger, keeping it curled in search of your sweet spot. Without you having to say anything, he easily slid in another finger, keeping them buried deep inside for a moment to make you really feel them before he quickened his pace, the squelching of your pussy loud even to your own ears. “Sunwoo,” you needily moaned his name, blindly reaching for his cock to jerk him off again in time with his deep thrusts that had you longing for more and grinding your hips against him. “Need- Want- Inside please,” he stuttered against your lips, desperately trying to not buck into your hand to chase his high that he already felt creeping up on him. “Yeah,” you moaned when he slipped his fingers free to rub your clit in tight circles instead, “On your back, baby.”

Like the absolute dream he was, Sunwoo did as you asked him to, looking like sin personified when he stared deep into your eyes as he brought his fingers up to his lips to suck them clean of your arousal. “Fuck, you’ll be the death of me,” you cursed breathlessly, quickly climbing on top of him. A loud moan fell from your lips when you ground your core against his cock, feeling the heated flesh twitch as you covered him in your arousal. “Please,” Sunwoo slurred around his fingers that he still kept between his lips and who were you to deny him?

Carefully, you held his cock up as you sank down on him, taking him inch by inch until finally your hips met and both of you let out a string of curses. To get a feel for his size, you slowly ground your hips in tight circles, loving how he pressed against your walls perfectly, filling you up just right.

“Don’t cum before I do.” You wished you were able to sound more firm but you were holding onto your sanity by a thread when you lifted your hips again to finally fuck yourself on his cock. You didn’t expect an answer out of Sunwoo and you didn’t get one either besides the punched-out groans he let out whenever your hips met again.

You had planned to build your pace up slowly, to savor the moment, to drag it out as long as you could but the moment Sunwoo met your thrusts and managed to nail your sweet spot, sending a bolt of arousal through your body, it was over for you. Panting into each other’s mouths, you both were desperately chasing your highs, Sunwoo’s hands keeping your waist in a vice grip and your nails leaving indents on his chest and shoulders where you were grasping for purchase to rock back against him harder while your thighs threatened to give out from how good he was fucking you.

“Keep going, keep going, keep going. I’m so close, Sunwoo, please,” you moaned loudly, your orgasm so close you were able to taste it already. A string of curses left Sunwoo’s swollen lips as his thrusts got more erratic and lost their rhythm and you knew he was just as close as you were. You couldn’t help yourself but grab a fistful of his hair to yank his head back so you could bury your teeth low on his throat and that seemed to be all Sunwoo needed to be pushed over the edge: His body going taut as he buried himself inside you as deep as he physically could and a silent moan leaving his parted lips while he painted your inside white.

Despite your first thought was to be annoyed because you had been so close too, you instead clenched around him tightly and slowly rocked your hips to help him ride out his high, stroking his matted bangs from his forehead and leaving tender kisses over his face.

It took a little while before all tension bled from Sunwoo’s body and he loosened the bruising grip he still had on your waist to instead caress your sides as well as your tired thighs. “Good?” You chuckled at the lazy grin that spread over his lips before he opened his eyes. “Mhm,” he only nodded, pulling you down against his body for a deep kiss. The change in position made his softening cock slip from your pussy, causing both of you to cringe. The sudden emptiness and the feeling of his cum dripping out of you only reminded you of the orgasm he stole from you.

Hiding your wicked grin against his skin, you whispered: “So you did leave me hanging after all.” Those few words were enough to startle Sunwoo out of his blissed-out state and you couldn’t help but feel satisfied by the look in his eyes. “You- I-“ “Now, now,” you shushed him with a finger against his lips, “Why don’t you put these to better use, hm?”

Too stunned to speak, Sunwoo simply nodded. Smiling, you pressed a feather-light kiss to his cheek before you lifted yourself up on your knees again, shuffling forward until you hovered just over his face. His hands immediately found your hips that he squeezed once before he pulled you down.

The first swipe of his tongue was almost shy but spurred on by your little sighs, he quickly got bolder with his tongue, eagerly cleaning up his release and opening his jaw wide to fuck his clever tongue as deep inside you as it would go.

And just the mental image of Sunwoo licking up his own cum and creating an even bigger mess between your legs in the process had your mind spinning with pleasure and you just had to grab a fistful of his hair again to keep him in place so you could grind against his face, shamelessly chasing your high.

“So close, fuck,” you cursed when your thighs started to tremble and threatened to close around Sunwoo’s head, the pleasure almost too much but also not enough as you grew more and more sensitive with each swipe of his tongue.

With strength you didn’t know Sunwoo had, he stilled your motions to close his lips around your clit instead, sucking on the sensitive bundle of nerves and that combined with a pleading look from his big, dark eyes was enough for your orgasm to finally crash over you. Holding onto Sunwoo’s bed frame for dear life, your thighs shook uncontrollably as you let out strings of curses laced with Sunwoo’s name as you rode out your high on his tongue. “Shit,” you giggled breathlessly once your spirit had reentered your body and gently carded your hands through Sunwoo’s hair who placed one last kiss on your clit before he carefully helped settle you down next to him on the bed.

“You okay?” You whispered after a while, gently tracing the hickeys you had sucked into Sunwoo’s skin. He simply nodded as an answer, interlacing your fingers again to squeeze them. “Are words still hard?” Another squeeze. “That’s okay,” you reassured him and gently kissed his forehead.

“Do you need anything from me?” This time, it took Sunwoo a little longer to respond, his brows furrowing before he squeezed your hand once. “Water?” Two squeezes. “Snacks?” Again, two quick squeezes. “Stay,” he spoke lowly, wrapping his body around yours, “Please.” “Of course,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to his hair that you gently combed through with your fingers, massaging his scalp when he began humming in content.

“Feel fuzzy,” he spoke up after a while, his words slurred. “Good fuzzy?” He didn’t answer with a squeeze this time, only shrugging his shoulders. “Was- Was this your first time giving yourself over to someone?” You asked carefully to not scare him with big words in case he had never subbed before. After a bit of debating and his face heating up with an adorable blush, Sunwoo squeezed your body once. “That’s okay, the first time can be a bit scary and disorient-“

“Liked it,” he interrupted you, lifting himself up to look into your eyes, “A lot.” Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t stop the tender smile from spreading over your lips so you instead pressed it to Sunwoo’s shy smile in a chaste kiss. “I liked it too. A lot,” you echoed his words. “Even if I…?” “I wasn’t mad at you. I was never mad at you,” you said firmly when you caught where he was going with this, holding Sunwoo’s face between your palms so he could not look away, “You did wonderfully. Listened to me so well.”

“Can we- Can we do it again?” “We can talk about it once you’re back here with me,” you giggled, pulling him back down against your chest to cuddle. “Am here,” you just heard him grumble as he tried his best to pull the blanket from below you to cover both your nakedness. “Once your head is not fuzzy anymore,” you clarified, your smile creeping into your voice.

And as you lay there with a pretty boy snuggled up against your chest and the deep bass from the frat party below caught your ears again, you truly wondered how you had ended up in this position tonight. Not that you were mad about it, you really couldn’t think of many places better to be than in Sunwoo’s arms right now, feeling the warmth of his skin sink into yours.

#sunwoo #the boyz #kim sunwoo #sunwoo smut #the boyz smut #sunwoo fic #sunwoo imagines #sunwoo scenarios #the boyz fic #the boyz x reader #sunwoo fanfic #the boy fanfic

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byuntrash101 · 1 year

Text

final lap

reader x dom!sunwoo

smut | nsfw | mdni

racer!sunwoo is kinda mean and big, thigh riding, dry humping, sir kink, orgasm control, orgasm denial, hair pulling, begging, edging, praising, impact play, humiliation, degradation (slut, whore, bitch in heat), a tad of self degradation, multiple orgasm, creampie, cum play,

requested | part of my 2023 prompts event [closed]

after a race there's only one thing that can ease sunwoo's nerves...

[❛ no ones here. we can be as loud as we want. ❜ + ❛ you can be rough. i can take it. ❜]

TUMBLR IS BASED ON REBLOGS. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK 🖤

a/n: this is inspired by this ✨glorious post✨ sunwoo graced us with. when i saw it knew i had to write racer!sunwoo. look at those thighs!! tell me im not the only one losing it for the thighs and veiny forearms!!

There was something about the speed that put Sunwoo in a sort of trance. Ever since he was a boy he aspired to be a racer. It was his calling.

And tonight after winning the race of a lifetime is not different.

Even now sitting in the changing rooms, after the press conference, after being handed out the platinum cup he was still feeling the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He still felt the strain that was put on his body with every abrupt acceleration. He still felt his body shifting through every single dangerous turn. It was like he was still on the track, swallowing laps after laps, until the last one.

This was Sunwoo’s experience after every race. And after every race he found that one thing was bringing him back down, pulling his mind out of the haze.

A quick jerk off.

You knew that. You knew that he liked to catch a few minutes of peace after a race to blow off some steam. But now that you’ve been dating for a few months you figured that maybe you could help him out this time.

When you knock on the door while your heart is hammering against your ribs. You don’t want to come across as annoying but maybe he really does enjoy doing it himself.

“Come in” you hear the voice of your boyfriend from the other side, annoyance tinting his voice.

“Ah it’s you” he says, surprised features relaxing slightly upon seeing you.

You sigh in relief when he seems to not be bothered by your visit. You lightly strut over to where he is sitting, your skirt lightly flowing around you. Somehow he seems embarrassed.

“Hmm…y/n” he starts off hesitantly. “I’m not… done… here” he says carefully.

Instantly your eyes shift down to his crotch. You try your best not to look too avidly at the veiny forearms resting so close to his bulge and failing miserably as your tongue swipes over your lower lip.

“Yes about that…I came to offer my help” you announce wearing a bright smile.

“That’s cute, baby but no, it’s ok you know I…”

You knew Sunwoo was going to need a little convincing so you thought of a plan. Your hands swiftly went under your skirt and without an ounce of hesitation you slid your baby blue panties down your legs, letting them pool at your ankles.

Sunwoo cut himself off as he watched the blue article of clothing fall to the ground and how your skirt scooted up your waist as you lifted your legs to step out of it. You were never this bold with him and he felt himself twitch at the thought of knowing that the only thing that was guarding your precious center from his eager eyes was this skimpy little skirt.

“Please Sunwoo” you pouted as you walked up to him. “Let me help you” you whined as you straddled one of his thighs repressing a moan when you felt the thick leather of his racing gear press against your unclothed folds.

Sunwoo watched you in awe, completely silenced by this brand new side of you he had never known.

You started to rock your hips on his thigh, hissing at the pleasurable friction. While Sunwoo let his hand slip on your thigh, fingers firmly wrapped around it.

You were not suspecting that if you still had a secret for Sunwoo it was the same for him. The reason why he always isolated himself after a race was because he didn’t have it in him to be the tender and affectionate lover he normally was. The adrenaline changed his brain chemistry and turned him into something a lot more primal. Something you might be scared of.

And right now you were making it very difficult for him to hold it off.

“Fuckkkk” he cursed under his breath when he saw the glistening mess you were making on his leg. And you felt his muscles tighten underneath you, making you whimper.

Sunwoo sunk his nails in your fleshy thighs as he heard you, only being able to guess how swollen and pretty your pussy was, the skirt still hiding you from him. But somehow that made him even more riled up. He wanted to rip it off you right now.

“Sunwoo, please” you asked one more time, your hands landing on his bulge, palming it lightly but before you could unzip his pants he catched your wrist in his hand. His grip was strong, a lot stronger than usual. When you raised your eyes to look at him, his chest was rising and falling rapidly and his gaze was dark, raw lust pooling in his orbs, the burning desire contorting his face in an almost painful expression.

“Y/n don’t make this hard for me” he breathed out, deep voice shaking slightly. Trying his best to keep the monster at bay.

“It’s okay” you start, smiling back at him. “You can be rough, I can take it” you assure. Sunwoo’s eyes go round in surprise. Did you pick up on why he was acting the way he was? Did you pick up on the side of himself he was so badly trying to hide from you?

“Y/n… I-” his grip grew even tighter around your wrist.

“Please. Sunwoo. I can handle it”

This is the last straw for the racer. He won one battle today. Maybe he can give this one to you.

As soon as he gives up the atmosphere around him changes, the tension goes up a notch.

Sunwoo let go of your wrist to grab a fistfull of your hair, harshly pulling on it making your head fall back.

“Can you really handle me?” He hissed through gritted teeth while you felt his member twitch under your fingertips. Your breath is short, a hot wave of arousal rushing to your groin as you felt the delectable sting on your scalp.

“Yes sir” you reply in a mere whisper, your hips working themselves back on his thigh. Instinctively yearning for friction as your lust for him grew again.

Sunwoo smirked at the title. It was the first time you called him like that and he could see himself getting used to it very fast.

As you noticed Sunwoo’s change of attitude you started to rock yourself harder on his thighs. Making an even wetter mess.

“Good little whore” Sunwoo praised while his free hand went down to palm over his restricted bulge. Instantly your eyes snapped back down to avidly look at your boyfriend’s busy hand. But he tightens his grip around your hair, yanking it harshly to catch your attention.

“No.” he clicked his tongue. “Look at me. Look me in the eyes” he commanded and you obliged. “Show me how your slutty little cunt pulse on my thigh” he propped his chin to your skirt still resting over you, shielding you from his brown orbs.

Hesitantly you reached for the hem of your skirt and you slowly lift the thin fabric. Sunwoo’s smirk grows wider while his eyes take a darker tone, an evil glint lighting his gaze.

“What a good little slut” he praised in a low rumble, pressing harder on his cock, growling when he felt himself leaking precum for you.

“Come on harder” he ordered as he tensed his thigh again, hand leaving your hair to push on your hips, strong grip conducting each of your movements until your mind was only a hazy mess, mindlessly wrecking yourself on your boyfriend’s thigh.

“You gonna cum?”

“Yesss” you sing in bliss, feeling your lower stomach becoming tighter and tighter with the familiar build up. Sunwoo pressed harder on your hips while you moaned without restrain completely forgetting about the thin walls of the changing room.

“You gonna be a good girl?” he asked again, hands going softer on your side.

“Yessssss” you hissed, your release being within reach, your mind barely able to form the simple word.

“Then you’re not gonna cum” Sunwoo suddenly says and your half lidded eyes snap back to him. Your eyebrows meet on your forehead in need when you notice him being dead serious. “Only whores cum humping their boyfriend’s leg like a bitch in heat” his voice is cold, cutting, ruthless.

“Sunw- Sir… please” you whine, unable to stop the intoxicating back and forth.

“I said” he wraps both his hands around your narrow neck. “No” he firmly states. His hands barely press on your throat but the glacial eyes and the commanding tone is enough to bend your mind. You whine in defeat as your hips slowly come to a stop. Red, swollen and aching cunt visibly pulsating on the leather.

Before you can even mourn the loss of your climax Sunwoo is back pulling at your hair.

“Up” he says, guiding you by the hair then pulling you down until you are on all fours. “Clean your mess” he shoves your face on the slimy puddle you left behind. You stick your tongue, gliding it over the smooth leather, ready to do anything for him. Completely fucked out your mind, you don’t think anymore only your body reacts.

In a matter of seconds you manage to completely erase any trace of the sinful thing you were doing moments ago, the taste of your own arousal making your head spin and your heart pound.

“That’s my good girl” Sunwoo praised, drawing soothing circles on your heated cheeks. “Good girls get rewarded” he whispered as his gentle hand guided your face to his groin. You whimpered as you pressed your cheek to the concealed object of your desire. Your arousal dripping down your thighs.

“‘s that what you want baby”? his honey voice made your center quiver.

“Yess” you purred in bliss feeling the heat of his cock through the thick leather.

You heard him chuckle as his hand unzipped the racing pants. He shimmied them on his thigh and you saw the glorious print of his shaft under his gray briefs. You swallowed thickly, eager to finally lay eyes on him. He also pulled his underwear down revealing the thick member clapping against his stomach you lightly gasp in awe.

He lazily strokes it a couple times in his veiny fist while you watch in a trance.

Then he gets up and guides you to bend over the chair, both your knees on the cushion and your elbows resting to the back of it. With a flick of the wrist he flipped your skirt up your back to uncover your ass. He smacked his lips in anticipation while he guided his tip on your drenched folds. The hot tip glided smoothly over your already over sensitive clit. You held your breath while he teased you. Biting your lip to keep yourself from begging.

“Such patience” he praised before you felt his large palm slap your ass cheek, the unexpected pain pulling a moan from your lips.

“Want this cock baby?” he asked as he started to push himself in.

“Yes please Sir” you politely ask, doing your best not to wiggle your hips to get him to fill you up faster.

“Good girl” he moaned as he bottomed out. His tip perfectly pressing on your sweet spot with this angle. You hissed, your fingers curling around the back chair. “I’m going to fuck your brains out” he growled. And the promise made your stomach knot.

He didn’t waste time to keep his word. He started to plow into you, pulling all the way out just to smash himself back in.

You started to squeal in pleasure as your cunt desperately held on to Sunwoo’s length rearranging your guts with every thrust.

“Good girl. That's it. Squeal for me” he grunted, strong grip bruising your hips. “No ones here. we can be as loud as we want.”

But everytime you grew closer to your release, every time he heard you go high pitched, every time he felt you pulse around him he would slow down, going down to a painfully slow rhythm. Thrusts merely teasing your eager walls as they pulsed and demanded more.

It made his cock twitch inside you when he heard your desperate whimpers and your disappointed sighs. He loved to torture you. And he intended to toy with you just like this until you couldn’t take it anymore. Until you broke.

After what felt like hours you finally voiced out your frustration.

“Sir please” you started timidly.

“What baby?” he asked, his honeyed tone letting your ear the smirk that was spreading on his lips from behind you. “What’s wrong?” he fainted worry.

“Please…” you were out of breath, exhausted. “I want to cum” you sighed.

“Awww. Want? what an ugly word” he said as he completely stopped. Dick deep into you but completely still. Somehow this was even worse. You started to whine and wiggle your hips yearning for any kind of friction again, even the slow pace. You needed something, anything.

“Please let me cum Sir” you pleaded, your voice trembling in need. When Sunwoo started to move slowly again a strangled moan escaped you.

“But baby only whores beg to cum like that” he says rubbing soothing circles over your ass as he picks up the pace ever so slightly, making your center quiver. “is that what you are?”

You stayed silent, teeth sinking into your bottom lip while you tried to regain a semblance of sanity. But Sunwoo gave you one single violent thrust to keep you in your trance, earning a high pitched moan.

“Are you a whore baby?” he repeated being as taunting as ever.

And you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Yess” you shouted in defeat. “I’m a whore Sir. I’m your little dirty whore” you started to push your ass back and forth on his cock, Sunwoo didn’t stop you he enjoyed seeing you break. “Now please fuck me like the fucking slut I am.” you sobbed, completely giving in.

Without another word he went back to the brutal and exhilarating pace. You completely lost it, abandoning your body and mind to his cock. You moaned and screamed without restrain.

“Cum. Now, slut” he ordered as he landed a couple more spanks on your red ass.

And the pain rocketed you over the edge. Diving head first in the blissful abyss. Walls quivering on Sunwoo’s thick dick. Climaxing so deliciously as he came inside you, delivering thick ropes of white thick cum inside your needy little hole that was milking him to the last drop.

As soon as he pulled out your legs gave out and you collapsed on the chair, gooey cum lazily dripping out your worn out and shapeless cunt.

Sunwoo stroked your hair affectionately.

“You were right baby” he pressed a kiss on your hairline “you handled me perfectly”.

a/n: thank you for reading guys. feedback is soooo greatly appreciated if you enjoyed drop a comment or an ask. i wuv u <3

1K notes · View notes

hongyangi · 8 months

Text

golden summer | ksw.

warnings: minors dni, soft dom husband sunwoo, pure smut, afab reader, overstimulation (they went x rounds 💀), pool sex (💀), corruption kink, size difference

word count: 7.9k words

a/n: this is the first time i wrote a smut (and it's this long warahel) so please pardon any weirdly used terms and the likes (i haven't gotten used to it). this is very long and nasty, proofread once (i'm dying). also im so sorry in advance for the typos and repetitive sentences if there are any! i hope reader can enjoy~ <3

tagging: first tag with @deoboyznet

On a hot summer, your husband, Sunwoo, and you have decided to be out of town to stay at a vacation house. You have been married for a few years, doing this and that together. A simple vacation like this is uncommon, however. So whenever your schedules have been cleared, you go out or travel— even if it was planned on the same day.

This vacation too— only being planned when you talked about summer upon waking up cuddled in bed. On a golden afternoon, Sunwoo prepares the meat on a grill and sets up a romantic table for a cute date as well. When you see the golden hour illuminating the sky and sea, you go to the pool of your luxurious vacation house. The view is like a live painting while swimming in the pool. The sky shines hues of pink, gold, and orange during the sunset and the sea seemed like heaven facing the earth.

While setting the table, Sunwoo looked at you, admiring her favorite time of the day. Your half body dipped in the blue water, back facing him. You’re watching the fascinating view as if in a movie, arms resting on top of each other on the edge of the pool. Sunwoo couldn't help himself but to look at his wife and appreciate all of her features.

Sunwoo decided to get into the pool as well without you noticing, arms suddenly hugging you tightly from behind while watching the sunset. His arms wrapped around your waist.

"The sunset is beautiful, love. I love it." Asked Sunwoo, his breath fanning on your ear as he traces his nose behind your temple.

"As much as me?" You giggled, uplifted that Sunwoo still feels excited by your beauty even for a couple of years. A smile brightly painted your face as you turned around to hug him back. Your dazzling body touched Sunwoo's, whose hands rested on your hips. You have your hands around his neck as you share a kiss. The kiss was so tender and sweet and made him want more.

The water on the pool softly splashed when Sunwoo pressed his body against yours, closing the gap. The warm sunset touched your back, and the orange and pink light illuminated the surroundings, touching your skin in golden light.

The two of you shared an intimate moment, Sunwoo's lips connected to yours as if never letting go. He slowly puts his hand on your back smoothly then pulls you closer.

You giggled in the kiss, feeling butterflies in your stomach with the position you have shifted to. Your face was on his face, and your lips were just still in touch with each other. He didn't know why he could feel like this, so magical with just a kiss.

More water splashes on your bodies when you try to move. You didn't miss looking at Sunwoo with hooded eyes, watching the droplets of water fall on his stunningly tanned skin. The golden sunset made him glisten and he looked ethereal. While your legs wrapped around him, Sunwoo's hands squeezed your bottom and lifted you up. Your bikini almost fell off from Sunwoo's strong grip.

Your body felt so soft and delicate against his, it was like you were made for Sunwoo. Sunwoo thinks you looked cute while your body was dripping wet and hair messy because of the wind. Sunwoo looked at you with a smile, face still so close you could feel his breath.

He is able to see how your bikini is almost falling off your petiteness. However, Sunwoo lets you cling on top of him, with one of his hands holding your leg and one softly tucking your hair behind your ear. Sweeping the hair from your shoulder, he could see the strap of your two-piece. He smirked, watching his finger play on the strap. Sunwoo twirled his finger and snapped it off. The strap falls off your shoulder until one of your bosoms is exposed to the cold pool. Sunwoo's breath hitched. Your skin looked so delicate and heavenly under the golden and pink sunset.

Every touch from Sunwoo felt nice for your liking. When Sunwoo's hand caresses your hair, you could feel emotions soaring, that touch alone could make your heart beat so fast and feel hot. Watching Sunwoo's finger playfully touch the strap could make you full of desire.

"Please... Touch me more..." You whispered seductively, voice so sweet, it made Sunwoo want to give you what you wanted. Sunwoo repeated what he did on the other side of the strap. Your brassiere fell down under your bosoms, displaying your skin and flesh for him beautifully like a perfect sculpture. Pulling the tied ribbon on your back, he threw the tiny cloth on the pool and it floated somewhere away. He bites his lip and looks at his wife with a smug smile. You playfully hit his arm and the two of you tittered.

There was no need to say anything else, Sunwoo's expression was definitely something else. He couldn't resist, he looked at you like a wild beast who found its prey. His lips pressed into a deep kiss and passionately, his hand went down on your thigh and he started to squeeze it.

You could see Sunwoo's expression changing in every second he looked at you, and it made it even more exciting. The sound of water sloshing slowly stopped, and you realized that you are totally exposed to Sunwoo's view now in silence. You smiled enticingly, feeling a sense of confidence as he admired you like that, you felt like you were the only one in Sunwoo's heart.

In no time, Sunwoo's finger worked on your underwear, ghosting his fingers along the waistband under the water. You looked at him as you bit your lips, heart pounding really hard to which you couldn't believe what you were doing right now, exposing yourself to him in the pool. But the excitement and arousal felt too real, you couldn't deny it, you actually felt amazing to have Sunwoo's gaze like that. As seconds passed by, you could feel how much your body was becoming warmer because of excitement.

"Please..." You couldn't contain yourself anymore, your words were so soft and sweet.

"Do you want it?" Sunwoo asks in mischief. His smirk makes you whine and you nod, "Yes... I want it so bad." His smile got bigger after hearing your words. The look on his face and his little mischief were so hard to resist. It was hot because of the summer, also because of the excitement and arousal that’s starting to immerse in you. Sunwoo kissed you again, he was just so desperate to feel everything all at once. He slowly moved down from your lips to your neck. He nibbled and sucked then moved lower and started pecking on your collarbone and shoulder. From his kisses, your body was slowly becoming more sensitive. Shivers run down your senses.

Your arms clasped together to hold tight on him. Sunwoo moved closer to the side of the pool while carrying you. When you're situated, he lets go of your thighs and pulls his white polo shirt above his head, making it float away with his shorts. His hard length makes contact with the water. Your body felt like it was floating on a cloud, with Sunwoo as your angel. You watched him with half-lidded eyes and hands still gripping his body tightly. Nails grazing the skin of his shoulder blades. Eyes met with Sunwoo's for a moment and it made your heart pound like crazy.

Sunwoo was getting frustrated too, it was impossible to control himself whenever you’re in front of him. "Honey..." His voice whimpers as he sucked on your neck again. You nod to urge Sunwoo to do his thing, naked bodies dancing against each other in the pool. He holds onto your waist then grabs one of your thighs and places it over his shoulder. Your other feet help you balance on the pool's floor. The new position sent you whining as your core made contact with the hard and erect Sunwoo under the water. Sunwoo was so aroused by this moment, and he looked into your half-lidded eyes while enjoying the pleasure of your body. Your bodies made a great pair, they fit so well together. He could see how excited you were and how much you enjoyed this. Your soft moan sent him over the edge and moaning as well.

When Sunwoo pushed himself in, the water splashed and you almost fell. But your arms rested on the edge of the pool and it supported your weight. With the new balance you got, Sunwoo easily pounded on you. You were moaning loud. One leg over his shoulder helped your sensitive spot to stretch for Sunwoo's huge member. Still, it felt so tight. With each thrust, water splashed around and your breasts bounced. Sunwoo put one of your nipples in his mouth and sucked it like he’s an infant.

You looked at the blue water that splashed around and it made you feel a bit dizzy and didn't realize how intense this moment was. But at least Sunwoo was in control so you felt safe. Sunwoo's thrust was going deeper and deeper but it still felt good. His touch made everything feel better. You felt great pleasure in your sweet spot, and your whole body seemed to be on fire. You felt it all the way to your toes.

Your petite body feels so small against him and it drives him insane. It feels like you are so delicate but he wanted to do all nasty things on it. He felt like he's gonna wreck you. Sunwoo's balls touched the skin under your buttocks and it reminds you that he is deep inside. You kept moaning until your voice was hoarse. It's becoming more intimate the more your bodies collide.

You felt like Sunwoo's heaven. The sound of Sunwoo's deep moans is harmonizing with your high-pitched whines like a love song. He devours your left breast again, making sure you get more pleasure. So his other hand played on your right breast, kneading on it. Then he moved his mouth to the other breast like he's having a feast. When his mouth is satisfied, Sunwoo grabs both of your thighs, making sure that he holds you correctly then he makes his speed faster. It made you feel more sensitive. Your breasts were already feeling good but it was getting better each time Sunwoo played with them. The sensations burn throughout your wholeness and you could see Sunwoo looking at you the way he always did, so special and wanted. He was so hot and the way he made you feel so good made him even hotter and sexier. Every time you made love, the feeling was always intense and special.

His violent pounding while in the pool made him bite his lower lip until it's swollen. His eyebrows curled and his eyes half-closed, he couldn't miss watching how their bodies collided though. As well as how his manhood penetrated you. He doesn't wanna stop.

Sunwoo's face turned red. He felt so good and he wanted to keep going. He couldn't imagine stopping at that moment just because your body was wet or dirty. He had lost himself in that passionate moment where he couldn't control his manly instinct and the intense pleasure that he felt in his manhood. Soon, his legs shake and his thrusts become more inconsistent, signaling that he's near his climax. He wants to make sure that he will release inside of you. Your body was trembling too and you couldn't move the way it should because of the position. You felt weak, but couldn't hold on much longer. You felt that this time, you were about to reach the highest peak of pleasure and couldn't hold it anymore.

In a few seconds, you came undone, giving a long moan and you thought that Sunwoo had also finished inside of you. However, you gasp and look abruptly at Sunwoo with eyes wide open when he thrusted again. You can't believe he's not stopping. You mewled, "Sunwoo....." Then your hands gripped on his shoulders. But Sunwoo only looked at you with a naughty and dark grin as he continued penetrating you.

Sunwoo's instinct could hardly stop, it felt like he was on fire. He felt every second, it was like he didn't even breathe at that moment. The way you were shaking made him even more eager to push you to the edge, he wanted to show you how much he can go. He slowly put his hand on your waist and pulled you close so he could dive in deeper, his lips crashing on yours as if devouring you once again. Then he thrusts over and over again, it seemed like he wasn't getting tired. He's so fired up and turned on.

Your mind seemed to be empty of any thoughts. As if you forgot where you were and felt the place ascending. The way you didn't move at all while Sunwoo was putting all his energy in every thrust was so crazy, you even looked like a doll. Sunwoo's thrust was fast, deep, strong and passionate. He liked to dominate you like this, to see you like that while you made love was extremely satisfying and arousing.

Sunwoo carried you out of the pool while his hard length was still inside of your core. Legs wrapped around him so he carries you easily. He found a sunbed and laid you down there. There was no stopping him. Once you’re laid down, he continues his movement.

It didn't make any difference for Sunwoo, he loved when he dominated you in many positions. He had been looking for a moment like this. Pushing you down onto the sunbed, he climbed on top of you. He continued to penetrate hard and deep. It felt so good, he felt a sense of power. But you couldn't move and couldn't ask him to stop.

Instead, you gave your all to him. Intimate thoughts like this make you want Sunwoo more. He becomes slower then he leans into you to give you a passionate kiss again while he thrusts up. The overstimulation sends you to cloud nine. This moment could be considered art.

Sunwoo was still in the mood to go further. He held your chin up and kissed you again with all the passion in the air. His thrusts picked up speed again, his member penetrated deeper. When he felt his climax coming, he pushed in deeper making you moan loud and begging. Your body felt so overwhelmed with how his pace became messier and inconsistent. You trembled as you felt another knot in your stomach coming undone. Your wetness dripped from the tightness of your hole that’s holding him inside. Once you’re finished again, he quickly pulls. Pain makes it sting for your sensitive spot. But to your shock, when you look at Sunwoo, he's standing above you. His hands gripped on his length and his pinkish tip was scattering his wetness on top of your stomach.

What a pleasant, surprising gift. When you looked at Sunwoo above you, you couldn't speak because it was so sudden. Words get stuck in your throat but your eyes speak clearly to him. You never saw Sunwoo like this, he looked so hot, strong and virile. You couldn't believe you belonged to this tall, handsome and virile man.

"That was hot." You complimented, voice still hoarse and still sensitive.

Your smile didn't disappear. In your eyes, Sunwoo was the best man you ever met. Sunwoo still felt the rush of the moment. "I couldn't stop myself."

He was still breathless, with a slight tremble in his hands. He was looking at you with a hint of regret, like he had done something dangerous, but at the same time proud. Then he gently fixes your position, “Wait a moment. Stay there.” Sunwoo says and runs towards a rack of towels and robes to get one. He came back with a towel on his half body and another on his hand. “Stay still.” He says calmly, his tone so angelic for your ears. Sunwoo wipes the stickiness from your body and covers you up as he sits down beside you..

You noticed his apologetic eyes and knew he was contemplating if he hurt you. So you cupped his face and giggled after pecking on his lips. "I loved it." You complimented.

He seemed even more surprised by that gesture. Your laugh and your little peck made him feel warm, like a boy spreading his arms freely under the warm sun.

"You liked it? Really?" He asked, he looked like he was shocked at your pleased giggles. But your satisfaction is enough for him.

"Yes... It's so hot..." You smiled and kissed his cheek this time. An idea came into your mind with a hint of mischief. You whispered in his ear, "I can't believe you did that. I feel like going again." Then your laugh followed.

He blushed after hearing those words, it made his heart race and a spring bloomed in his stomach. If you wanted to, he wouldn't hesitate to do it again. He was so excited about your words.

"You enjoyed it that much?” He looked at you with a smug smile, he was glad that it was you who wanted to go again.

You nod with a playful smile, eyes scanning all the features of his face so lovingly. "Unless you're tired?" You suddenly said with a caring tone but still teasing him.

He laughed. His warm voice making your heart flutter. "I'm far from being tired." The way he said that made it sound like he could go a few rounds more. He was staring at you, thinking that he had never seen that much beauty and innocence in one woman before. How could a woman like that belong to him? He felt too lucky to have you by his side. It’s like it was always warm like summer with you around him.

Even as you spoke, he was still caressing your arms and your sides. His hands moving on your waist and pulling you closer. He really wants you… He wants you so badly.

"Glad to know." You respond with a breathy voice and it turns him on. A small hue of pink painted his cheeks. Then you stood up, naked body walked in front of him. He closely watches you until you do your next move. "Lie down, honey." You suggested and he laid down on the sunbed. Positions switched.

His naked body displayed beautifully on your view. It was getting darker and you're still outside eating each other out. His member is slightly softened now. You sit in between his legs on the sunbed and pull your hair back on your shoulders. You lick your lips to wet them and your face sunk down to meet his erectness.

Your innocent smile made Sunwoo's heart race so fast that he felt confused. He didn't expect you to do that. Especially, occasions like this rarely happen where you take control. But he doesn’t complain. He could feel his body turning hot and his mouth was so dry and hungry. He wanted you so much.

He tried to grab your hair, making it loose like that on your bare shoulders. He also wanted to touch it, that hair was like a sweet temptation. Sunwoo felt a bit embarrassed that you could see him like this. He has always been dominant. But now he finds another side of you that he didn’t expect. But when he felt that your mouth was already sliding down his manhood, he completely forgot about him being shy. His hand that grabbed your head rested there, caressing you.

You started working your tongue around his tip while you were touching his balls. Sunwoo's cock slowly hardened again. He felt too good… too lost in the sensation in this moment, like he couldn't think anymore. He only felt pleasure, so pleasing, so warm and so exciting. He wanted this moment to be longer, he wanted to experience and explore more of you.

Sunwoo closed his eyes, thinking only of you. He enjoyed this moment being so elated, as well as surprised to see that the first one who took initiative for a time like this was you. You glide your tongue on his length as if measuring it. Your nose touches it at the same time so he can feel your breath on his sensitive part. It sends shivers on his spine. You caressed his thick thighs that are flexing its muscles with your hands while doing this.

When you feel his grip on your hair becoming rougher, you open her mouth, lips closing on his shaft down his girth. Then you slowly slide your mouth down, gobbling Sunwoo's length up. He slowly grew bigger inside your mouth. At first, your bobs were slow. You move your head up and down at a steady pace. When he grips roughly on your hair, you feel some of Sunwoo's veins on your tongue twitching. So even when his length doesn't fit inside of your mouth in full, you bob your head up and down at an increased speed.

Every movement that came from your lips and tongue in this moment was sending him in paradise. Your mouth felt so wet, warm and exciting, he wanted to see how far you would allow him to go. He couldn't imagine this moment to be like this. He really couldn't believe he was about to have a moment like this with you.

He looked down at you in awe. You’ve always seemed so innocent and pure, yet so lustful and naughty at the same time. Your face, smile, even your expression— it was all so attractive and he couldn't resist you.

He was moaning continuously and it was music in your ears. The warmth of your mouth and the wetness of your tongue sends him on edge. You want to fit him inside so you hollow your cheeks and sink his length deeper until it's in your throat.

Sunwoo hisses at this. His body became more flushed and hotter. The way you swallowed him drove him insane and he couldn't resist any longer. The feeling was incredibly overwhelming, Sunwoo could feel his heart beating so fast. His eyes seemed to be glazed with desire, face all red and flushed. He let out a slight and quick moan that came from the back of his throat. He didn't know what to do anymore.

You seemed so innocent and truth be told, you haven't experienced any intimate moments with anyone else aside from your husband. He was wondering where you learned all of these and how you know how to please him so well. But when he remembered this information, he became more turned on because he realized it was because of him. His corruption to your innocent mind makes him more excited and at the same time, content and delighted.

When you swallowed his length, your lips touched the skin of his testicles and your throat bulged. Sunwoo blushed upon knowing he is completely inside your mouth. When the sound of your lips and saliva became louder, he groaned again. He tugs on your hair more roughly, and you gag on his length and start to drool. Your eyes are sent to the back of your head making you look very erotic in front of Sunwoo.

Sunwoo felt a sense of power, he felt he had taken over your mind. He loved the idea that you have been corrupted by him. With one hand, he kept pulling on your hair, with the other, he caressed your hair on your shoulders as he felt himself twitch. Every move of his made your body shake and he felt like he had succeeded in dominating you.

It was so hot, so thrilling. Sunwoo was feeling like his whole mind and body was under your spell too. He is addicted to the moment he was having with you right now. Sunwoo kept tugging on your hair, making you gag more. He seemed like he wanted to put you in a position where he could see you more… and touch more.

Sunwoo couldn't make words come out of his mouth anymore, he was lost in this moment where both of you were so passionate and eager. It was like he had been hypnotized. He was really lost and felt like he was going to explode with so much love, desire and lust. No longer in his own world, there was nothing else except you and those sweet lips. He was too hungry, too eager, too thirsty, it was like madness.

In a few minutes, when you slowly pulled your head up but still kept Sunwoo's shaft in your mouth, you gulped and sucked on his tip. The sight was so provocative. You kept driving Sunwoo crazy, moaning, and gasping. He swallowed breaths that he couldn't get off of his throat. His legs shook and suddenly, his white liquid came splurging inside your mouth until it spilled.

Sunwoo felt a feeling of satisfaction and excitement. He couldn't hold himself, he was shaking and he couldn't stop his loud and long moans coming out of his mouth this time. He felt like his body had released all of the stress and pressure that had built up inside him for a long time. He looked at you who was sitting in front of him while slowly licking his juices.

He watches with a smile and couldn't help but be so proud. He could see that you felt exactly the same way as him. Sunwoo was beyond pleasure, he was way beyond all this. His mind almost went blank because of the intense sensations. He couldn't find the word to describe how good that felt.

Then you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and gasp for air. You couldn't believe you just did all that. With chest heaving up and down, you calmed your heavy breathing. When Sunwoo sees this, he sits up and cups your cheeks. "You did so well, love." He compliments, making you smile so proudly. You were still in the atmosphere of that moment. You looked at Sunwoo with eyes full of longing and love. The smile that came after he praised you was like a sweet reward in your heart.

"I'm glad." You felt so full of love for Sunwoo. Too good and full of life. You also felt bliss engulfing you, because you thought you had succeeded in making the man by your side very happy. At this moment, you claimed yourself the best wife in the world.

Sunwoo caresses your back while you catch your breath, smiling so softly. But behind his smile, he still has a plan to reward you for making him feel so good and looking so sexy in front of him. It makes him giggle, which you only understood as a loving gesture instead of the naughty idea.

When your chest relaxes, he compliments you again and pats your back. It was already night time when you finally took consciousness of the surroundings. You both laughed after seeing that the golden and pink sky has turned dark blue decorated with shining pearls called stars.

"Well, we took our time." He giggles with you. Sunwoo was still caressing your back. His other hand was roaming everywhere, he couldn't help himself because his wife was just so beautiful.

Sunwoo then leaned in close to you again, his eyes filled with desire and his mouth so close to your ear. He whispered softly, "I love you so much, my love." His tongue softly licks your ear and he smiles at the reaction it brought.

You giggle and realize his desire hasn't died down yet, "I love you too." You whisper close to him, and add, "What are we gonna do next?"

Sunwoo slowly pulled you to him, his eyes full of desire. He then whispered seductively and so lovingly at the same time, "I want you, baby... right now. And I want to reward you for that."

You laughed, but the feeling was because of being so wanted and loved. "Make me feel good?" You asked in a teasing tone as you looked at him and spied on his lips. Sunwoo couldn't say anything, his lips were already taking on command and closing on your sweet ones, embracing you once again in another delicious kiss. His hands were so eager to touch and caress everything on your body that gave him so much happiness, love and desire.

He caressed your cheeks while you tilted your head. When Sunwoo breaks away from the kiss, he wraps the towel he took earlier around your body. Then he carries you to the dinner table and places you on top of it, where he set up the dinner earlier that was now untouched and forgotten. You laughed when you realized that you hadn't eaten what you prepared earlier. "I could have you as my meal all day." Sunwoo says with a wide grin on his face as he looks down at you.

You laughed so much, so free and excited. You looked overjoyed to be in this moment with your man. His words were so romantic and so naughty at the same time. You couldn't resist being more provocative with Sunwoo. So without hesitation, you lifted your leg and put it on Sunwoo's knee. You looked at Sunwoo with a seductive look in your eyes, it's like you were teasing him again.

"Then you'd better eat me." With this said, it was as if you were seducing your husband right in front of his eyes. He chuckles shortly and leans into you, placing his hand on the small of your back, "Gladly."

Sunwoo didn't waste time to give his lovely wife open-mouthed kisses. It's as if he could swallow you. He removed the towel from your body and dropped it on the grass. The two of you continued making out for a while.

The romantic table was set up with a vase of fragrant flowers, expensive red wine and wine glasses, and fairy lights— you sit on top of the table sprawled out to Sunwoo as if you're the main dish. Sunwoo loves that idea.

He leans into your half body, laying down on the table while your feet rests up on the edge, spreading your legs open. Sunwoo smirked as he saw your cunt glisten with the fairy lights. It's so seductive.... Making him harder.

Sunwoo was too attracted to this position that you offered to him. He was too excited to touch his wife's wetness on the dinner table. He wanted that moment very much, so he couldn't resist his needs and immediately placed his hand on it.

When he touched it with his fingers, he felt a mixture of desire, pleasure, and madness. He couldn't resist and wanted to taste you too. You were, on the other hand, biting so hard on your lower lip until it's swollen. As you wait for his next move, one hand rests on the edge of the table, gripping the white cloth that was covered on it.

Sunwoo rests his palm below your stomach, his wedding ring cold on your skin. His other hand's thumb drawing circles on your folds. He hears your moans signaling him that pleasure is taking over your body. He smiles, pleased with your sounds. It was like music to him that he could play all day long.

His thumb continued making circular motions on your clit. Then he used his other hand to open the folds with his middle and pointer finger. His thoughts are so dirty right now. He was wondering how you're still so tight after penetrating you so many times now. It's a sight to behold.

Sunwoo's thoughts were so dark and so bad, his hands trembled as he caressed his wife's folds and teased your clit with small ministrations. All those fantasies that Sunwoo had in his mind, he was doing right now, on the dinner table. So exciting and so naughty, like his desire for you was overflowing.

Your breathy moans made Sunwoo even more excited, he really couldn't wait to taste you again, to smell you, and make you whimper under his touch. He wants to make all those fantasies into reality and make the love of his life feel good at the same time.

On the other end, you look up at the beautiful sky decorated with the moon and the stars. It feels so unreal and heavenly. Your arms reached out to the stars as if you could hold them. Suddenly, your back arched and your moans came out from the back of your throat. Your arm that was reached up to the sky is now grabbing your hair, and resting on your mouth as you bite that hand out of pleasure.

All your reactions were caused by Sunwoo who dives his nose on your folds to smell you, and gives one long strip of lick on it. He tasted you like you're an ice cream melting in his hands. Sunwoo swallowed your taste and brought two of his fingers inside his mouth to wet them. After wetting his middle and ring finger, he inserts it inside. Your toes curled out of pleasure the same time Sunwoo curled his fingers inside.

Sunwoo really couldn't contain his eagerness. His lips and nose were busy tasting his wife, while his hands were so eager to please, to touch, to caress. It's only a matter of time before he will give you the ultimate satisfaction.

"Your taste is so addictive… Hm… I can never forget this, my love." Sunwoo hums with a proud smile. He licked his fingers clean, there was a little bit of his saliva mixed with the taste of your arousal. That was really the tastiest thing Sunwoo ever had, he couldn't stop thinking of it.

Sunwoo then caressed the lips of your folds and inserted his fingers again to make you moan. He pushes them in and out like how his length works inside of you. You moan out of pleasure... At the same time, his slender fingers are not enough for your throbbing core. It was pleasurable, but you wanted more. However, you couldn't get words out of your mouth, only pretty sounds for Sunwoo.

Your reaction made Sunwoo even more aroused. He started licking and tasting your cunt again and again with his lips and tongue. He sucks and nibbles on it like you're a main dish from a hefty meal, it was like a forbidden fruit that he couldn't afford to miss or refuse.

Sunwoo was so obsessed with you, your taste, as well as your scent. He always thought you were like a delicious fruit, he could never get tired of tasting your nectar all day if he could. He wanted more, and more.

You couldn't contain yourself as well, with a voice stuck in your throat, body twitching so much, and legs trembling uncontrollably. Your voice was in between a moan, and your breathing was also unstable. Sunwoo's hand made you moan out loud, all you could do was surrender to Sunwoo that was too good for your liking. All the senses were already confused in a state called ecstasy, you felt like flying in that moment.

Not long after, when you were tortured and wet enough, he pulled his fingers out and licked them again. He swallowed all the taste, wetness, and scent... like his favorite meal.

Sunwoo wanted to taste more of you so he leaned down to eat you out again one last time, before doing the ultimate. But his peripheral vision caught the bottle of wine that rests on the dinner table. He scoffs shortly and a smirk crossed on his face. Dirty thoughts filled his mind.

"Honey, I want you to have a little drink. I made sure this wine is really good, you'll see." He grabbed the bottle of the top-class wine from the dinner table and poured it on the glass to offer it to you.

Sunwoo saw the look of excitement that he wanted. He was hoping that you would say "yes" to his invitation to try the wine he prepared especially for your supposedly romantic dinner. Then Sunwoo's plan will be complete.

Your eyes fluttered open upon hearing his voice speaking to you. You propped your elbows on the table to lift your torso up and look at him. You saw how Sunwoo was pouring the expensive wine on two of the wine glasses on the table. He's smirking.

"Come on, drink a little. I know you're curious about how this wine tastes." Sunwoo's eyes stared at you as you felt his hand caressing the back of her neck. You blushed a little, face full of sweetness and clearly excited. Without hesitation, you held out your hand and took the wine glass. You sniffed it first, your sense of smell is good.

The smell of the wine is promising. Its bitter smell mixed with the smell of a fruit, and it feels so romantic and luxurious. Sunwoo caressed your cheek with the back of his finger and offered you cheers. The wine glasses made a clang sound against each other then the two of you drank the red wine. At first you both took a small sip, and so many feelings rushed through your bodies. The sweet aftertaste lingered on your buds. This red wine really suits your preference and makes this moment even more romantic. You slowly finish your glass, and it was getting more and more delicious by the second you drank the wine. When you're done, you savor the aftertaste and let the alcohol be absorbed by your body and consciousness. Your eyes looked up at the sky.

Aside from the sensual moments you're having right now, you thought this is really romantic. Being touched by the warm sunset earlier, splashing with water, and now making love under the starry night sky. You suddenly thought if it would rain right now, would it be more romantic and sexy? You chuckled to yourself, getting lost from the thought and drunkenness.

Suddenly, you felt some liquid pouring on your skin. You surprisedly looked at the sight in front of you, Sunwoo was pouring the delicious red wine on your stomach down to your sensitive cunt. He has been watching you get lost in the sensation of alcohol sipping through your body.

You gasp at the sight, moaning out at the provocative gesture from Sunwoo. Your head feels dizzy because of this idea, the imagination of rain pouring down on the two of you, and the alcohol that had been absorbed by your body. Meanwhile, Sunwoo is elated by how you reacted. Satisfied at your reactions and turned on with what he's doing. He places down his wine glass and takes a seat on the chair. It seemed as if he's ready for another meal.

Your breathing became heavier because of the cold wine. Then you felt Sunwoo's thick tongue licking a long stripe on your folds. He closes his lips on your clit and sucks you... Tasting the bitter red wine from your sensitive area mixed with his saliva your salty wetness.

"Mmm, you taste so good..."

Your eyes were closed, too excited again to feel Sunwoo's lips and tongue, that sweet sensation made your moans get louder and higher like an orchestra. You couldn't control the feeling and had to let go, you had to surrender to this moment right now.

He was so turned on, his heartbeat sped up, all he wanted was to make you even more turned on, he didn't care what position he ended up in, even though it probably looked obscene.

Soon, his tongue prodded your entrance, licking your walls. You kept mewling, arm thrown over your eyes. The heavenly feeling controlling all of you. The knot in your stomach came undone, and your orgasm mixed with Sunwoo's saliva and some of the red wine dripped down your body. You heaved breathily.

Then the sound of the chair grazing the ground was heard. Sunwoo stood up, your legs suddenly wrapped around his neck. The position is so obscene that it turns him on and your still sensitive cunt clenched.

His long and hard member entered you painfully slowly, your body writhing with so much pleasure. You even felt it deep in your soul. Those sweet and warm moans made Sunwoo more aroused, even with that position he seemed to enjoy it so much. Then you took a slow and hard movement together, those soft sounds and the scent of your bodies mixed together made you feel so alive.

Your movements became quicker and more intense, moans synchronized like a harmony. The sound of skin making contact with skin rang in your ears while you felt like floating in heaven.

Meanwhile, your eyes became a little teary. You felt dizzy but good. Sunwoo made you see the stars as he pounded into you. Literally though, the stars in the night sky were displayed above you. With half-lidded eyes, you saw the stars in the sky... And as much as Sunwoo pounded your insides, you felt like floating and you could feel the sky getting close to you. You entered subspace. Sunwoo felt like he's in heaven too. His subspace makes him unaware of his pace. His speed voluntarily picks up, making your inner-thighs red and walls clenching tightly around his member. The glasses and vase on the table now rolling somewhere on the green ground.

You were so full of this moment, it was as if your soul had been set free that you couldn't feel anything but pleasure and extreme happiness. You were so overwhelmed and were already dreaming.

A knot in your stomach slowly forms. Sunwoo felt that you were close. He's happy upon knowing it. He continued his speed then he picked up the bottle of red wine again, opened it and leaned down. One of his hands propped on the table while the other poured wine on your breasts.

Your eyes flung open. While your legs are over Sunwoo's shoulders, you drop it down out of exhaustion but Sunwoo caught them on his arms so he's still spreading them out. It made the bottle of wine fall from Sunwoo's hands and the wine spilled on your chest. You wrapped your arms on Sunwoo's neck to give him a passionate kiss. You gave each other open-mouthed kisses as if devouring each other.

While you are feeling the pain and knots in your sweet spot, Sunwoo's kisses send ticklish senses to your body. His mouth went down on her chest, hands squeezing your breasts together to gather the wine that's pouring down your body. His lips closed on the bridge between the two mounds and he sipped the wine from there.

Your moans were getting louder as Sunwoo sucked the wine dry from your breasts. He sips the wine dry until only your skin can be touched by his tongue. He licks the skin and nibbles the flesh. It leaves red marks on your skin. Sure enough, it will turn purple and bruise you up.

With a loud thrust of his length touching your sweetest spot, you gasp for air. The knot slowly untied, your body shook and trembled, and your juices came leaking down. Sunwoo's seed meets yours. You moaned together as if in a musical. The feeling of the sticky liquid being mixed inside of you, and dripping where your bodies are connected felt so ticklish on your skin.

After your release, which you couldn't count anymore, your head nuzzled on the crook of Sunwoo's neck. You bit the skin between his neck and ear, giving a red mark too. You were panting, gasping, catching your breaths.

Sunwoo was in a frenzy, the way he moaned and groaned was not like someone who was in control of himself. His voice got to the point of screaming, his nails were in a rush to find and mark your skin while he pushed his body against you. Sunwoo's breath was so loud and so rapid, he was shaking so much, he couldn't even speak at this moment. The pleasure was just too great for both of you and it could only be explained as madness and euphoria.

As soon as you finished, the satisfaction felt like a relief. You couldn't control your feelings, your voice, even your breath. Your body trembled and your legs couldn't stop shaking. Sunwoo's body was the same, like in a dream, his body trembling, sweating, and panting hard. The two of you were exhausted after that. But satisfied.

You knew it was definitely worth it. Sunwoo remained silent with you for a few minutes. He closed his eyes because he felt dizzy, he couldn't explain what he felt at that moment. The feeling of being covered by his body and being held was very nice for you. You felt his arm gently hugging your upper body that kept unmoving from exhaustion.

You're in a more comfortable position, Sunwoo sitting on the chair in front of the dinner table and you being straddled on Sunwoo's lap. He's hugging your body and touching its curves. Your faces were so sweaty but became slightly relaxed. This moment was indeed very worth it for your body and soul. You were filled with such sweet feelings that made you unable to speak. You couldn't even move. As for Sunwoo, he just kept watching you as if he didn't want to leave this feeling of love, intimacy and ecstasy. Sunwoo smiles as he removes the wet hair from your sweaty forehead to the back of your ear. "You're so beautiful, my love." He suddenly compliments.

It was as if you were falling asleep in the arms of your beloved one because of how sweet and relaxing this moment had become. You could feel Sunwoo's hand gently caressing your back and face, especially on your cheeks, it felt warm.

The scent of wine mixed with the smell of sex is intoxicating. It flooded your senses. You felt as if staring at each other's faces stopped the time. You smiled softly at each other. "I love you." You told each other in sync. It made you burst into sweet laughter. Sunwoo laughed with you, realizing once again how much he adores you.

There was nothing to make the two of you uncomfortable. You were both in bliss, like there's nothing left to do but to enjoy these moments together. Sunwoo hugged you tight, he couldn't get enough of this closeness.

When it comes to Sunwoo, you seem like you lose control of your body. He is dominant and stern. But also very caring, sometimes rough. Whatever he does, you just give up control and offer yourself to him.

Little to your knowledge, Sunwoo is almost the same. The difference is that he wanted to dominate you most of the time. He loses control to be gentle, to keep himself from exploring you. He couldn't resist his wife's whole being.

Even in non-sensual moments like this, Sunwoo can't resist your cuteness. He always wants to take care of you. He always wants to be by your side. And you are overjoyed at the knowledge that your husband is so drawn into you.

"You deserve a good rest." Sunwoo tells you. His smile softens and it's pure. You nod and let him cover you up with the towel that he picked up again. Once he covers his lower body with the towel he got earlier, he carried you like a princess inside your warm and spacious vacation house and he takes care of you until you fall asleep in his embrace.

Oh, you're gonna be so sore in the morning.

#deoboyznet #the boyz sunwoo smut #kim sunwoo smut #tbz sunwoo smut #sunwoo smut #the boyz smut #tbz smut #sunwoo x reader #sunwoo scenarios #sunwoo fanfic #the boyz fanfic #sunwoo imagines #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #sunwoo hard hours #the boyz hard hours #kpop smut #kpop hard hours

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cloverdaisies · 6 months

Text

☆*:.｡. PIECE OF STRING

☆*:.｡. a kim sunwoo imagine @:cloverdaisies

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆*:.｡. .｡.:*

description: dear sunwoo, autumn nights are always better when they’re spent with you. please don’t hide yourself, you know you’re safe with me.

member: sunwoo x you

a/n: this is a request for the lovely @from-izzy ! i loved writing this and wanted it to feel like a place of safety for you ! it’s only very short but as always my limited spare time is spent doing what i love - & that’s writing, especially for such sweet people like you <3

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆

There was a cute thing Kim Sunwoo did every time he got a bit shy, he’d pull the strings on his hoodie and make sure the entirety of his face had been engulfed in the fleece - just so the world couldn’t see him for a second.

You’d noticed those little things about him and wondered where he picked up that habit, he was your best friend after all so why not ask? Since every time you saw him he seemed to be drowning in the material of a hoodie no matter the season. It could be the hottest day of summer and yet still he protected himself with the comfort of a black hoodie at least 2-3 sizes above what he was.

The nights had drew in colder and darker, the trees had lost their leaves and the ground was littered in pale orange and brown leaves you kicked around with your boots as you walked up the street.

It was only 6pm and when night had taken over and it was the same time you’d go to meet sunwoo to escape the world for just a second.

“Hey.” You smiled as you heard that honey sweet voice fill your ears for the first time that day, as you saw Sunwoo wrapped in his grey hoodie, disheveled hair decorated with the prettiest grin you’d ever seen.

“Hi.” You replied as you both began to walk through the park, where sun was between setting over the horizon and the city was overlooked below, all the lights shining as ruby red and pearl white orbs in the distance.

“It’s colder than I thought it would be tonight.” You sighed as you found your classic spot between a few sparse trees laying out the blanket you both sat on every night, crossing your legs and talking about whatever you both thought put the world to right.

“That’s your fault for wearing a cardigan.” Sunwoo laughed, poking fun at your attire with that stupid smirk on his face that you just wish you could legally slap off his silly face.

“It literally was warm earlier.” You laughed and let out a relieved sigh, as your best friend’s presence just seemed to make everything bad just go away. “How are you anyway?”

“Me?” Sunwoo pointed to himself as if there was anyone else around that you could be talking to. “I’m better these days, still stressed but I guess you’re here now, so I can’t be happier.”

“That’s good, it makes me happy that you’re happy.” You smiled as he passed you an earphone, a sweet melody playing through the minuscule speakers.

The glowing moon overlooked you both through the trees, and the feelings of safety seemed to immediately wash over you - as without your acknowledgment his gaze scanned every detail of your face.

Moments like this were always the sweetest, half of the time there was no conversation, there was only a comfortable silence, where you both enjoyed the company of each other and the night. It was strange really, how the both of you just collided that way. The birds chirping in the distance, the feeling of warmth that radiated from the both of you, the safety from the nightmare of the world.

“Sunwoo?” You asked, listening to him hum in reply before you could let the curiosity get the better of you to ask. “Only reply if you feel comfortable to do so and sorry if this is a bit of an invasive question but why do you always wear hoodies? Even in the summer?”

He looked down at you for a moment, a bittersweet smile painting the features of his face, his eyes glossed like stars in a night sky, as he saw that you’d began to shiver in the cold night.

“Before I answer that, can I?” He asked opening his arms invitingly with a pinch of hesitation in his words. You smiled and nodded, leaning closer into his touch, his palm resting on your waist comfortably. Affection wasn’t peculiar between the both of you either, considering you were both single and no romance had been considered. “I wear the hoodies because I guess I don’t like the way I look without them, they make me feel like I have some sort of comfort barrier between me and the world you know?”

“What do you mean you don’t like the way you look without them? Sunwoo you’re gorgeous.” You pulled your head away from the warmth of his chest for a moment and looked at him with a puzzled look of horror.

“Uh I mean- Sorry, I’m not. I mean I would have the world in my hands if I was.” He sighed slightly, the air escaping his lips expressing some sort of disappointment with himself. His ears tinting red, as he struggled to conceal the smile that broke through his emotional defense barrier.

“What do you mean by that?” You asked residing back into the warm feeling of his chest as you felt his spine stiffen in panic.

“I guess everyone has their different version of the world, for some people their world is work, for others their world is their family and for people like me their world is the person they love.” He looked up at the sky thoughtfully, choosing his words with a careful tongue.

“I’m sure whoever it is, they’re lucky you think that.” You smiled, feeling a spear of pain impale through your lovely heart. Thoughts secretly ravaging your brain, did you love him? Are you jealous his attention lies elsewhere? Were you afraid of abandonment?

“Theoretically, imagine that person is you, what would you think? Is that too cringe, like I know I’m not the most loveab-” He began to spurt nonsense that made your brain spin in confusion or more disbelief.

“Sunwoo, if I was that person. I would think it was the most romantic, sweetest thing anyone had ever thought of me.” You pulled away from his touch, feeling slightly embarrassed you were so close to someone, who was about to break your heart.

“Okay, well it’s you.” He spoke nonchalantly, not really batting an eye to what he’d just said despite you feeling probably the most embarrassed and shy you’d ever felt.

Without anymore thoughts, you looked up to the brunette boy beside you and stared into his deep brown eyes with sincerity.

“You mean that?” You asked, furrowing your eyebrows in a smitten way, praying to anything above that he’d say yes.

“Of course I do.” He whispered lowly, brushing your hair behind your ear and tracing his finger across your jaw delicately.

He brought his lips closer to yours and sealed a kiss that made the night sky sway and the stars pirouette like ballerinas on a dark stage. Destiny had rewritten itself in the most blissful way, as like the world, everyone thought of destiny differently - for you both, it lied with each other.

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tbzxnight · 1 year

Text

relax, let's do it

warning: nsfw, contains smut, sex in the studio.

You make your way through the security gates, tapping your ID on the card reader, and stop in front of the elevators. It was past midnight, so the lobby is deserted save for a security guard at the front desk, who was currently off in dreamland and not really guarding anything, other than his beauty, at the moment. You're visiting your boyfriend at his studio in the company headquarters; Sunwoo's been working late most nights recently so tonight, you decided to bring him over some dinner. Truth be told, you actually have an ulterior motive. With him being away so much, you've been feeling even more horny than usual, so during this visit, you were hoping to get lucky.

As you step off the elevator onto the floor his studio is on, you can already hear the faint sound of R&B music flowing from the end of the hall. Sunwoo is rapping some of his signature sexy lyrics as you go to knock on his door. You hear some shuffling before the door opens to reveal Sunwoo's tall, slender frame in an old black t-shirt and gray sweatpants. His messy dark locks fall over his smiling eyes as he bends down to kiss you on the cheek, "What are you doing here, baby? " You hug him tightly around the waist, "Oh you know, I thought I'd surprise you with some food."

"Well, aren't you a sweetheart? " Sunwoo laughs, looking a bit stressed, but happy to see you. You look at him with a glint in your eye and raise your eyebrows. You move closer to him, hands on his shoulders, and whisper in his ear, "So, you're saying I deserve a present? " This makes him grin widely; he grabs the back of your neck and brings you up for a long, passionate kiss that leaves you feeling dizzy. Breaking the kiss, he sits back down on his chair and pulls you so you're straddling his lap. He kisses the exposed skin on your neck and chest, leaving small love bites all over.

Needing more, he guides your hips to grind down on his already semi-hard erection, you feel a rush of wetness straight to your core when Sunwoo moans against your neck. It feels so good, you subconsciously start rolling your hips on your own, letting out a startled moan when he starts to grind up into you. You’re so lost in the lust, the pleasure intensified because you’ve been sex-deprived for so long. You're already close to your peak, but you didn’t want to cum like this. Gathering all your willpower, you still your hips and lift yourself off Sunwoo’s lap.

He lets out a whine at the loss, riled up from being starved of sex for so long too. “Babe, I thought we’d try something special today,” you say, taking his hand and leading him to the recording room. Sunwoo looks confused, tilting his head to the side slightly to show he was also intrigued, letting you drag him into the booth. Once inside with the door closed, you lean against the glass door and pull him in again, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. His arms wrap around you and rest on the small of your back like it was second nature, giving you a peck on the lips. “I get it, you like the acoustics in here, huh, my baby girl? ” He smirks smugly. Damn, he knew you well.

He runs his hands up and down your back, stopping on your ass to squeeze hard over your dress. You let out a gasp, looking at him through your lashes. Clearly in a hurry, he quickly takes off your dress, groaning when he notices you weren’t wearing any panties. Too transfixed on your lack of underwear to do so himself, you help him remove his clothes as he wets his fingers with his mouth and reaches down to rub up your slit and circles on your clit roughly. You jerk and whine, ready to complain about him teasing you at a time like this, when he turns you around unexpectedly so your front is pressed up against the glass door of the booth.

He spanks you hard, once, twice, dragging a loud moan out of you that echoed throughout the booth. You wriggle your ass impatiently, indicating how urgently you needed him to be inside of you. Sunwoo leans you forward so your ass juts out and slides his erection through your folds before thrusting into you entirely; you both groan at the feeling. He starts off thrusting into you slowly, taking his sweet time, bending you down by the neck even more for easier (and deeper) access. His fingers indent on your hips, coaxing your ass back into him, arching your spine so beautifully. Your panting breaths steaming up the window.

As his thrusts start to pick up speed, you turn your head to look back at him and clench around him when you see the sweat drip down his gorgeous tan neck as he focuses on giving you the utmost pleasure. Both of your moans reverb through the room as he holds you by the hips, steady so he could fuck as hard and deep as he wanted to, which just so happened to be very. When he meets eyes with you, he reaches for your hair and pulls your back flush against his chest, shuffling you both forward up against the glass door. "How about being fucked like this, baby? " He growls into your ear, now fucking up into you as you let out a strangled moan.

His hand wraps around your waist as the other slides over your clit, rubbing the sensitive bud as he peppers your neck with hot kisses. "Ugh, fuck yes! " You yelled out, your hand reaching behind you to grip his hair, whimpering when you feel the knot tightening in your stomach. You moan out curses when he pinches your clit, still pumping up into you at a ferocious pace, you knew you wouldn't last much longer. "That's it, baby, cum for me, don't you dare hold back," he growls lowly in your ear. You cry out loud when he slaps your clit, biting your bottom lip.

His free hand grabs your chin and forces your face around to hungrily press his lips over yours, increasing the pistoning speed of his hips. He starts to rub your clit in a delicious sync with his thrusts, the pleasure building up inside you until it washes over you in waves. Moaning out Sunwoo's name, which echoes through the room like a symphony, you tremble in his arms as he fucks you through your release. As you come down from your high, his breathing gets heavier as he gets closer to his climax. “Fuck, I’m going to come, babe,” he breathes, “Get on your knees now.”

🖤

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woophilia · 1 year

Text

kim sunwoo — to the one who hung the sun in the sky

synopsis. you're not one to say sappy words, but for the one that hung the sun in the sky, the one that holds you like you're made of glass, the one that whispers loving words into your ears and pinches your cheeks afterwards, you can try just for him

pairing. non idol! sunwoo x fem! non idol! reader

genres. romance, fluff

warnings. reader just trying to voice out her love to sunwoo, pet names (babe, baby, sweet cheeks), sunwoo (he is a menace himself)

word count. 997

a/n. birthday special for woo ! happy late bday to my baef 😞🫶🏼 would have posted this earlier but i had exams this week LOL

YOU wake up to the sun peeking through the curtains, landing on you and enveloping you in a warmth that is unwelcome as you groan, squinting your eyes and kicking the duvet off your body, rolling around to stuff your face into your pillow but to no avail. sunwoo also groans, his arm flying out to stop you from moving, wrapping around your waist and tugging you closer to him. this makes you whine, sunwoo's body warmth being too much along with the sunshine hitting you.

"stop moving," he grunts, pressing his nose into the crook of your neck, pressing a kiss to it.

you shake your head. "you're too hot, sunwoo. let me at least get up to turn the ac on." you can feel his smirk against your skin.

"i know i'm hot, babe."

"sunwoo." with a slap to his arm, he loosens his grip just enough for you to slip away from his hold, sluggishly walking towards the window to close the curtains correctly and then towards the ac, turning it on before making your way back to your boyfriend. you don't even get the chance to lower yourself onto the mattress before sunwoo tugs you down with closed eyes, emitting a squeal from you as you fall down. sunwoo chuckles, wrapping his arm around your waist and nuzzling his nose into your neck, causing shivers to go down your back with each puff of warm air that hits your skin.

and it doesn't take long for sunwoo to fall back asleep while you shuffle in his iron-grip hold around you to get the duvet back on you when the room gets cold. now, you're staring blankly up at the ceiling, blinking. you blindly reach out to grab your phone, moving to see it behind sunwoo as you get comfortable. it's barely eight in the morning, and you scrunch your nose in annoyance at being up this early. but then you remember it's your boyfriend's birthday, and the note you left him on his side of the bed is neatly placed atop the bedside table along with his car keys. you flush in embarrassment when you see your handwriting.

sunwoo had a late shift yesterday, and he had told you that he wouldn't be getting back home until past midnight. you were already tired after having had a long day of exams and barely any sleep this whole week, but you still wanted to be the first to wish him a happy birthday, so you had taken out a piece of paper and wrote a sappy letter to him listing all the things you loved about him and wishing him a happy birthday before folding it and leaving it on his side of the bed, knocking out afterwards.

you pull back just enough to see sunwoo's face, his long lashes resting against his cheekbones. you let out a puff of air, muttering about how unfair it is that he looks so good at this moment despite just sleeping, your fingers moving to graze his brows before falling down to his nose. you stare at him, cupping his face to press a small kiss on the tip of his nose, resting your forehead on his afterwards.

there's a lump in your throat, but you remind yourself that sunwoo's sleeping. he won't hear what you're about to say. with a shaky breath, you begin to speak. "happy birthday, sunwoo. everyday, i'm a little more thankful to have met you. you're the one who hung the sun in my sky, you've made everything seem brighter and feel warmer, so thank you. i hope i can continue to see you grow into the wonderful being you are, even if you're a tad bit annoying at times," you laugh. "i know i don't say it a lot, but i really do love you. i love you a lot. so i hope you can let me continue to be at your side for many more years. happy birthday."

at the end, you sigh out in relief, feeling happy to let that all out only to gasp loudly when sunwoo's eyes suddenly open, his lips tugging upwards to form a grin.

"you—! were you awake this whole time?" you ask, baffled.

sunwoo merely hums, pinching your cheeks. "aw, my baby really does love me."

you huff, slapping his arm away and turning around, feeling hot all over your face. "shut up."

the boy laughs, kissing your shoulder. "sorry, sorry. but thank you for that letter of yours and now this," he says, reaching over to intertwine your fingers together. "...i know what you can give me as a present this year."

in your letter, you apologized to sunwoo for not having been able to get him something this year, mentioning that if he wants anything today that you would try your hardest to give it to him. you look over your shoulder with expectant eyes, waiting for him to continue.

he smiles. "your heart."

you snort, turning away from him again. "you're stupid," you laugh. "you already have that."

"you should be nicer to me," sunwoo says, grabbing you by the shoulders and turning you back around to face him. "it's my birthday, sweet cheeks."

with a hum, you nod with your eyes closed. "i know. again, happy birthday."

it's silent. you open an eye to see sunwoo staring at you, his face blank. his stare is intense, making your cheeks flare up, the blush reaching your neck and your ears. all he does is pull you close, lips lightly brushing against yours. "love you," he mumbles, his next kiss more feverish that it leaves you dazed. "so much."

sunwoo pecks you once more before resting his chin on top of your head. "let's go back to sleep. whatever i say, goes, you know? birthday privilege and all."

you huff through your nose, rolling your eyes, but nonetheless wrap your arms around his torso, tangling your legs together in a mess.

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wontune · 3 months

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✿𝆬 sunwoo ( the boyz ) lockscreen

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starlitmark · 3 months

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Summary: You’ve stuck by Honey since day one… it’s only fair you finally give Sunwoo some extra support while they’re on tour. Pairing: Rockstar!Sunwoo x fem roadie!reader Tropes: rockstar au, fan-celebrity relationship Genre: smut Rating: R 18+ Warnings: language, mentions of drinking and parties, piercings, smoking Smut Warnings: oral (m receive), deepthroating, dirty talk, hair pulling, facefucking, dacryphilia, pet name (pretty thing) Word Count: 1,110 Note: thank you to @anyamaris and @wooahaeproductions for beta/proofing this

Host Tag: @sanjoongie @thelargefrye

February Filth Masterlist Before You Interact

Listen to ♡ Lollipop by Lil Wayne (ft. Static Major)

“That’s the last of the supplies and such.” One of the tour managers sighs, “Are both boys already on the bus?”

“Sunwoo is out back smoking, but he should be done shortly.” You hear his manager respond.

You flick your cigarette before pulling it back up to your lips to take another drag. You glance over at Sunwoo, who’s doing just the same. Honey had just finished performing their concert for tonight; to say the least, he was exhausted. Eric was probably already passed out in his bunk on their tour bus rather than indulging in bad habits like Sunwoo is.

“You’ve been at every stop so far.” The guitarist notes.

“Yeah,” You confirm, puffing out some smoke, “I’ve followed Honey since you guys released your first album.”

“Damn,” he chuckles, “You’re a ride-or-die fan, huh?”

You chuckle airily, “Yeah, you could say that. I’ve helped with setup and breakdown in the past, too. I’ll do anything I can do to help you guys out.”

Sunwoo pushes off the cool brick wall and leans over the wooden fence with you. You’ve been in close quarters with him before. Most notably, when they played at small bars in the early days, you were pressed against the stage. This time, though, you feel a heaviness in the air. The tension is palpable. You fear that if you take another drag from your cigarette, you will crumble under the weight.

“Anything?” He asks with a challenging tone.

“That’s what I said.” You respond, pushing your hair to the side.

“I could use a little extra support if you’re interested.” His eyes trail down your form and then back up to your eyes.

You turn your body toward him. He stays in his position, but his eyes track you like an animal tracking its prey. Finally, you take one last drag from your cigarette before dropping it to the ground and crushing it beneath your boot. Sunwoo watches you, smoke escaping his lips, curling around his lip ring for a moment before dissipating into the air.

“Well?” He questions.

“Well?” You echo, “Where are we hiding?”

He smirks, shiny silver lip ring twinkling in the night. He mirrors your action of putting out his cigarette before leaning in toward you. He puts a hand under your chin, holding eye contact with you.

“Backstage work for you, pretty thing?”

“Lead the way.” You match his energy.

“Fuck,” Sunwoo groans, “you look so pretty on your knees for me.”

You look up at him through your lashes. His eyes are dark and trained on you. He has one hand lazily in your hair as you lick his tip lightly. As much as you love taking your time giving him a slow blowjob, you also know that, in reality, they’re waiting on him to leave. Sunwoo tosses his head back, his dark hair falling out of his face as he looks up at the ceiling. Just as his eyes break from you, you take him completely down your throat. Your action catches the guitarist off guard, and he lets out a loud, slightly broken moan. You hold yourself against his pubic bone for a few moments before pulling back again. A string of drool connects your lips to the head of his cock. He looks at you again, his hair falling in his eyes.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, pretty thing.” He smirks.

“They call it ‘the little death’ in French for a reason.” You tease, voice slightly horse from taking him so deep.

You don’t wait for him to respond. You take him back down your throat. His hips jolt forward, causing you to make a choking sound in response. Tears brim in your eyes due to the lack of airflow, but you couldn’t care less. All you want is to make the rockstar see God. Each time, you pull back slowly and jerk your head forward quickly. Hollowing your cheeks, you hear Sunwoo curse and tighten his grip on your hair. It seems as though he’s had enough, though. His other hand drops to your hair and matches the grip the other has. You look up at him through your lashes again, this time with slight confusion. He’s holding you back so only the tip of his cock is in your mouth. If anything, you’d expect him to hold you so that you have him completely in your mouth.

“You had your fun, pretty. Now let me take care of things.”

You feel a shudder run through your body that settles in your core. Your panties are soaked. There’s no way they aren’t. He holds you there for a few more moments before thrusting into your mouth. You hardly have a moment to react to his harsh pace. You get a breath far too little for your lungs to be content, but you’re not complaining one bit. Sunwoo spews filthy words at you. There’s drool dripping down your chin as you continually choke on his cock. Tears again threaten to fall from your eyes. This time, you let them fall.

“Crying for me?” He lets his tongue peek out to play with his lip ring, “Quite the sight, pretty thing.”

You make a garbled noise in an attempt to respond. He only laughs condescendingly at you. Bringing your hands up to his thighs, you grip them, hoping it’ll help you hold onto your sanity by proxy. Your vision is completely blurred with tears. Your painted nails are digging into his skin. Everything just feels so intense in the best way possible. As if things couldn’t get better, without warning, Sunwoo groans as he releases down your throat. The noise he makes rivals a growl, and you can’t swallow his cum due to how deep down your throat he is. He pulls out completely. You gasp for air, not caring about the drool, tears, or cum dripping down your face.

“Thanks for that, pretty thing.” He sighs, coming down from his high.

You wipe your chin and suck the mixture off your fingers, “Any time.”

Your voice sounds foreign to your ears. That’s to be expected after being throat fucked, though. After redressing, Sunwoo squats down in front of you and hands you a random towel he found nearby. You giggle quietly before wiping the remainder of bodily fluids from your face.

“You wanna come for a ride?” He asks softly.

You look at him with a playful glint in your eyes, “Ride on what?”

Sunwoo shakes his head, looking at the ground for a moment, “You really wanna fuck around and find out, huh?”

You just smirk and raise your eyebrow at him.

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @kwritersworld @k-vanity

Tag List: @bratty-tingz @yeosangiess @minjaeluver @abbietwilight

#sunwoo smut #cultofdionysusnet #kwritersworldnet #kvanity #joongfryefff24 #the boyz fanfic #the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #sunwoo fanfic #sunwoo x reader

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wavesmp3 · 4 months

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[ksw] ode to you

inspired by 'daisy jones and the six'

kim sunwoo x reader (gn) wc: 10k warnings: cursing, heavy alcohol usage and often in an unhealthy way, one mention of blood (a terrible case of largely irrelevant side characters, an attempt at writing song lyrics, switching pov’s without any real indication, story existing in a vacuum of time and space loosely based off of 70s usa)

synopsis → The Numbers are a band well on their way to commercial success with Sunwoo as the dreamy front man, Changmin on drums, Jacob on guitar, Juyeon on bass, and Kevin on keys. But all that changes the second you step into the studio to record “Begin Again” with them. The song is an instant hit, launching you from a singer-songwriter nobody to the biggest new name in music and catapulting the Numbers into a larger limelight than they’ve ever been in before. So with the entire country singing your song, the pressure is on for you and the Numbers to create an entire album that lives up to their expectations. But while pressure builds, something akin to feelings for the front man builds with it.

You go to knock again on the door, heavy footsteps and heavier breaths, but just as soon as your knuckles make contact with the heavy wood, the door swings open.

Chanhee looks disappointed. “You were going to knock again, weren’t you?”

You roll your eyes, pushing him aside and going straight for the marble bar cart you know sits in the sitting room off the formal dining area.

“You know you really have to work on your patience.” He says to you from the foyer, voice already sounding a bit far away. You always forget how big acclaimed-music-producer Chanhee's house is. Although, you think, staring at the array of top shelf liquor arranged neatly on the bar cart, mansion is probably a more apt word for it.

You pour yourself a glass of whiskey.

Chanhee joins you in the room once you’ve already taken a seat in one of the brown leather arm chairs.

“How many glasses is that?”

You scoff. “I have a show at the Roxy after this.”

He hums, flicking the square paper in his hand.

You sit up slightly. “What is that?” Chanhee takes the paper over to the record player in the opposite corner of the room. He slips a clean black record out of the manilla slip and carefully places it into position. It doesn’t take long for the gentle hum of the record spinning around the platter to fill the room.

God, I love music. You think to yourself sitting back slightly in the armchair and allowing your eyes to shut.

“I want you to listen to this.” You hear Chanhee say, followed by the small pop of the decanter being opened and the quiet trickle and crack of liquor falling over ice. The sound of a bass overtakes the room. It’s somehow… gentle.

“Who’s it by?”

Chanhee doesn’t answer at first. You hear him sit down in the armchair next to yours while drums fill in the spaces of the songs and a guitar starts to hum along. And the sound that comes from the record player next–in all honesty, you don’t think Chanhee could have prepared you for. It’s a man’s voice, polished, in a way that you just know he’s been doing this for a while. His whole life maybe. There’s this rough, almost growly quality that amps the song up even more, and yet, simultaneously, his voice glides over the lyrics like honey spilling over the side of its jar. There’s so much depth in every note he hits. You don’t know if you’ve ever heard a voice–a sound–quite like this.

“Who is this?” You ask again once the first chorus comes to a close, opening your eyes and taking a proper look at Chanhee. He looks mildly amused.

“Have you heard of the Numbers?”

Sunwoo hurries into the studio from the car, guitar in one hand and lyrics in the other, fully expecting to get chewed out by his producer. “Chanhee, I’m so sorry. There was tra-”

Sunwoo stops in his tracks. The control room is empty. He steps back into the doorway and rereads the signage. He has the right room, so then… where is everybody?

“Sunwoo,” he hears a voice call for him from the recording stage. It’s Changmin, waving him inside and pointing at you. You smile at him, give him a nod of sorts. His eyes dart to Chanhee, giving him a look that says, who the fuck is that?

He walks into the recording booth hesitantly.

“Hey.” Chanhee says casually. “I don’t think you guys have met yet.”

You stand and approach him, sticking out your hand. Sunwoo just looks at it.

“The label thinks you guys would sound good on one track and want you to try recording ‘Begin Again’ together.”

He ignores your outstretched hand and looks straight at Chanhee. “Can we speak privately?”

—

Sunwoo had assumed he’d be the one getting chewed out in the studio today. Oh, how things have changed. He’s worked so hard on this song. More time and effort than he’s ever put in any of the band’s songs that came out before it. He can’t believe Chanhee would allow anyone else to try and taint it. “Begin Again” is his song. And he’ll be damned if he’s not the only one singing it.

Sunwoo’s ready to say all of this, but, “Before you say anything,” Chanhee doesn’t even let him speak, “I know how you feel about this. But the decision came from above me, okay. The Number’s last album didn’t do as well as the label hoped. They think another voice in the band could shake things up. And who knows, “Chanhee continues with a shrug that only makes Sunwoo fume more, “maybe this could be what you guys have been missing.”

Sunwoo cannot believe what he’s hearing. “We aren’t missing anything.”

“Don’t be dense.” Chanhee pans with a sideways stare. “I know you guys are good. I know you guys are gonna be big, but the rest of the world needs some convincing. Just try this, okay? This could be it.”

Sunwoo just shakes his head.

“I scouted them out myself. They’re a good singer and even better writer-”

“Writer?” Sunwoo nearly screams, arms flying to point at you through the control room window where the two boys are talking. “You want them to write on the song too?”

“They have a couple of…” Chanhee sighs, choosing his next word with extra precaution, “revisions.”

“Fuck that, Chanhee. I wrote a great song. It–”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“You wrote a good song.” Chanhee refutes, matter-of-factly. “You wrote a good song, and they,” he points at you, “they made it a great one.”

Sunwoo is speechless.

“Here.” Chanhee pushes a piece of torn notebook paper into his hands.

If Sunwoo wasn’t so aware of the line Chanhee was drawing, he would’ve pushed harder, but at the end of the day, Chanhee is his boss and his lifeline in this business. If Chanhee says so, really says so, then there’s not much Sunwoo can do to fight it. Sunwoo is stubborn, but he’s not a fool looking to waste his own breath. He looks back into the recording stage. The band looks happy chatting to each other. And you, well, you’re staring at him.

A red light flashes on the sound board beneath him. “Talk over the changes.” Chanhee says to the band and you through the intercom. “We record in ten minutes.”

—

“It’s nice to meet you,” you say to Sunwoo sitting on the stool in front of the second mic. Sunwoo’s never even seen a studio setup with two mics before. He swallows a scoff. “Chanhee showed me the song the other day, and your voice it—“

“What does this line mean?” Sunwoo cuts in, taking his seat on the stool next to yours. “I changed my heart. I morphed my mind. You don’t have the right to tell me I didn’t try.”

Your face drops immediately. “Are you serious?”

Sunwoo raises a brow–a challenge.

You let out a breath of pure disbelief, focusing your gaze just above his head, and hands starting to make motions in the air. “It’s about changing yourself to be with someone. It’s about them never acknowledging that.”

“That’s not what this song is about.”

You give him a pointed look. “What do you think the song is about?”

It’s his turn for the disbelief. “What do I think the song I wrote is about?” You don’t falter, not even for a second. Sunwoo grasps at the words, mouth agape. “It’s about redemption.”

“That’s too easy.”

“How is that too easy?”

“Look,” you huff, mouth opening and closing like you can’t decide what it is you want to say. You end up reaching your arm out, palm open like you want a fucking hi-five or something. In the back of his mind, Sunwoo wonders if you’re still waiting for the handshake he never gave. “Give me your original lyrics.”

He does, you snatch the paper keeping your eyes on him for a second too long before finding whatever it was that you were looking for. “Right here,” you say, finger pointing at the tattered paper and eyes darting back and forth between him and his lyrics. Your face lights up. You look like you're holding back a smile. You look… excited. “Here, in the bridge you wrote: take me home, welcome me on those familiar roads, embrace me in your arms, oh please, tell me I still belong.”

“What about it?” Sunwoo asks, almost forgetting that he’s upset at Chanhee for this whole arrangement, nearly forgetting that he’s supposed to not be accepting any of your revisions because for the first time in so long, he’s able to really talk to someone about his lyrics.

You look up at him fully, and almost sadly, you say, “You really don’t get it, do you?” Sunwoo looks down at the lyrics you gave him, scanning them again. Funnily enough, that line is the only one of his you’ve kept.

“The song’s not about redemption,” you tell him. “It’s about guilt.”

—

Sunwoo, you, and the band end up recording your version of the song. It’s a good song. It’s still his melody, his hook, and his bridge, but almost none of the lyrics are his. Just like that, “Begin Again” becomes as much your song as it is his. If he wasn’t so angry at Chanhee, maybe he would’ve had the mind to notice how good you sound singing it.

Kim Sunwoo is an asshole.

That you learned in the recording studio with him and haven’t been able to get out of your head since. Unfortunately, he’s got one hell of a voice and gift for creating a good melody. And him and Chanhee together in the studio, god, they’re magic. You went out and purchased The Number’s previous record after you recorded “Begin Again”. You haven’t stopped listening to it since.

It’s one day when you’re working a shift at the diner that you start humming the song playing over the speaker while grabbing an order from the kitchen. You don’t even think twice about it. That is until you make it right in front of the table whose orders you’re holding and start to hear your own voice.

You nearly drop the four plates of burgers.

You rush over to the jukebox, not believing your ears, not believing that your voice, your words, your song is playing for the entire diner to hear.

And there, right at the bottom it reads: “Begin Again” by the Numbers ft. you

“Holy shit.”

The desert wasn’t too far from home, but it could not have been more different. There was so much nothing for as far as your eyes could see. There was dust everywhere, all over the place, sifting up through the air and in your lungs. How are you supposed to sing like this?

You hear the bands’ voices come up from behind you.

“Hey,” Sunwoo says, coming up next to you and resting an arm on the same wood railing as you. “How are you feeling?”

“Great.” You answer truthfully. You could barely believe it when you got the call from Chanhee saying that they wanted you to play the festival along with the Numbers. Although, considering that your song is playing on every radio station, it probably shouldn’t have been as surprising as it was.

The crowd roars as the previous artist says his goodbye.

“Have you ever played for a crowd like this?”

“Nope.”

He nods slowly. “It’s a lot. The first time especially, for sure. But just go with it, and uh,” he smiles, towards the ground, “it’s a lot of fun once you get past the nerves of it all.”

You look at him, battling against the grimace forming on your face. “Is this pep talk for me or for you? Cause I’m fine.”

His smile disappears when he sees your face. You must’ve lost the battle.

He inhales sharply. “‘Begin Again’ is last. Come out after I introduce you.”

You nod, and he joins the rest of his band.

The crowd cheers when they get on stage. The first song starts with a familiar guitar riff and the pound of the drums, followed by the crowd going ballistic. You’ve been playing on stage for a while now, but only ever in small clubs with small crowds. You’ve never seen a crowd like this, and it makes you ecstatic.

You hear Sunwoo sing the final words of the song and Kevin play the final chords. And you don’t know if its the crowd or the shot of vodka you took during the bridge or the fucking look Sunwoo gives you, but something, something, makes you forget what Sunwoo said about waiting and walk right onto that stage.

Jacob and Juyeon look confused. Sunwoo looks vaguely pissed. Kevin and Changmin barely notice. But you don’t register any of that. All you can think as you walk onto that stage, grin flashing and arms up in the air is: this crowd was fucking waiting for me.

You step up to your mic and wait until the crowd quiets down. You introduce “Begin Again” as a song you wrote. The crowd erupts. You look over at Sunwoo, smiling, no–grinning, loving how annoyed he looks. Juyeon doesn’t miss a beat, starting the song immediately. Your body moves on its own, dancing to the song, belting out each note, and loving every second of it. It’s sometime during the second verse, the one Sunwoo sings alone, that you notice how entranced he is. His eyes are half closed, and his fingers fly across his guitar like he’s not even thinking about it. He smiles at the crowd. You think you hear someone faint. He looks your way then, right before the pre-chorus, smiling still as if he wasn’t just glaring at you. It hits you almost instantly: nothing else matters to him right now. He’s in it, like really in it, and the only thing he seems to care about is putting on a good show. He’s loving this as much as you are, and maybe that’s enough to prove that you and Kim Sunwoo are more alike than either of you think.

You leave your mic stand and start dancing towards him. His entire body turns towards you, waiting for you, his eyes following. You meet right in front of his mic just as the chorus begins. And you’re left with no choice but to stand next to him, singing into the same mic with your faces so close you can feel every ragged breath he takes, see the sweat rolling off his hair, and hear the blood pumping through his veins. Take me home. You both sing with your entire chest. Welcome me on those familiar roads. You see him turn his head to face you. You mirror the motion, and sing the next line looking right into his eyes. Embrace me in your arms. Have his eyes always been this big? Oh please, tell me I still belong. And of course it’s this line you’re singing to each other like this. Of course it’s the one line in the entire song that you didn’t actually write and the one line he did.

The chorus ends, and you slowly back away from his mic and move back towards yours. He rips away on his guitar, fingers still flying like it’s the easiest thing, all while never taking his eyes off you. Staring at you like he found something. Staring at you like it’s only you and him on that stage.

You don’t even remember the song ending.

Music flows through Northside Tavern. A jazz band is playing today, and the piano player keeps making eyes at you.

“I heard the show over the weekend went well.” Chanhee says into your ear. You just nod. “And that the label really liked what you did with the song.”

You laugh. “Not just the label. The whole country liked it.” You give one last look to the pianist, before turning to Chanhee fully. “I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but I have a number one single.”

You head over to the bar and ask for an old-fashioned.

“Not just you.” Chanhee yells behind you to be heard over the cheers after the band’s last song.

You pivot. “Excuse me?”

“It wasn’t just you.” Chanhee flags down the bartender, orders a scotch, neat. “It was the Numbers too.”

The bartender slides over three drinks.

You lean in over the counter. “We only ordered two.”

Wordlessly, the bartender points to the other side of the bar. The piano player holds up their drink. Chanhee grabs his drink, and you grab the remaining two. You lift them both up towards the pianist who gives you a rather charming smile, and then take a simultaneous sip from the straws of both drinks. You taste your old-fashioned and what seems to be a margarita.

You and Chanhee make your way over to a booth.

“What I wanted to say,” Chanhee continues, “is that the label likes you with the band, and they want you to make an album with them.”

“An album?” You suck in your bottom lip, feeling a sudden rush from all the alcohol. An album is exactly what you’ve been pushing and working so damn hard for. So then why does this feel bittersweet?

“I think this is going to be a good thing.” Chanhee tells you sincerely, eyes softening. “You and Sunwoo…” he hesitates for a moment. You hate when he chooses his words like this, picking out the bad ones and testing out all the others. But perhaps you only hate it so much because you lack the ability to do it yourself. “You guys work.”

You take another long double sip of your drinks, squinting at Chanhee skeptically. “What did Sunwoo say?”

Chanhee’s mouth parts. There. There it fucking is. Running your tongue over your top set of teeth, you say, “you haven’t asked him yet, have you?”

“No, we haven’t asked him yet–”

“I can’t believe this.”

“–but the rest of the band is already on board, and we all thought it’d be smarter if you agreed before we asked him.”

You tilt your head slightly. You thought Chanhee knew you better than this. “I’m not saying anything until he does.”

“Be honest with yourself here,” Chanhee says seriously, pushing his drink to the side and leaning forward, “it’s no secret that you and Sunwoo don’t get along. And I get it; I really do. But I know you see it.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “See what?”

“Most people in this business spend their entire lives looking for what he and you found during the ‘Begin Again’ sessions and again on the stage at the festival. And most people fail. Don’t throw that away over whatever bullshit he gave you when you first met. Don’t throw away the chance you’ve been waiting for because of that. You guys belong together. Focus on that.”

You don’t say anything after Chanhee finishes his little speech. Instead you reach for your drinks and finish them both in one long, prolonged sip. You ignore his annoyed ‘tsk’.

Putting the empty glasses down and to the side, you nod up at him, pursing your lips. “Are you done?”

He takes a long, final swig of his drink. “Yes.”

“Ask Sunwoo first.” You pull out your wallet and drop a couple bills on the table. “Then, you can call me.”

Today is already off to a bad start.

Sunwoo had come into the studio ready to record and knock out at least 2 or 3 songs off the album today, but then Juyeon wanted to talk about the album’s direction and Changmin wanted to request everyone to add as many drum parts as possible.

And it’s as he’s listening to Kevin and Changmin argue about the addition of piano solos, that you walk into the studio.

Chanhee welcomes you with a hug. Eric, the sound engineer, offers to make you tea. Meanwhile, Sunwoo can’t understand why you deserve any kindness at this moment. Your session started an hour ago.

“You’re late.” Sunwoo says, bringing the rest of the band to notice your arrival.

You look at him with a smile, gesturing to the two boys who were just arguing. “Doesn’t really look like I missed anything.”

“We were talking about the album’s direction.” Juyeon says from behind Sunwoo.

You nod, putting down your stuff and taking a seat. “Okay, shoot.”

Sunwoo puts his hands up. “Well since we’re talking about it. I’ve been working on a couple songs, and,” he hesitates, pulling out a couple sheets of paper that Chanhee helped him print and handing them out, “I think I might have something good that we can build the rest of the album off of.”

Everyone takes a moment to read. Sunwoo watches the room carefully. Jacob clears his throat. Kevin plays a loose note.

Your voice is the first that comes out of the silence. “Are you serious?”

He whips his head around. “What?”

“‘Will you still love me when I’m old? Will you still love me when I’m proud.’” You read aloud, before shoving the paper back towards him, that mocking smile still plastered on your face. “I’m not singing that.”

He scoffs, tongue swiping at his lips. “Why not? They’re good songs.”

You shrug. “They’re cheesy.”

“You haven't even read the whole thing.”

“I’ve read enough.”

“Are–are you… is this–I mean, like, you…” Sunwoo only knows one thing for sure right now: you might be the most insufferable person he’s ever met. “Chanhee!”

“Okay, you know what,” Chanhee’s voice comes through the intercom. You both turn towards it. “How about you two go home and figure out some way to work together instead of wasting my studio time. Write one song, just one, together, and the rest of us can go from there tomorrow.”

He slips a curse between a breath.

“Okay?”

You and Sunwoo look back at each other. It’s you who speaks first this time. “That’s fine with me.”

—

It’s a nice day out today. The sun shines through big clouds. There’s a nice breeze, and the roadways are empty. You’re sitting in the passenger seat humming something he can’t hear over the wind while Sunwoo drives. In all honesty, he doesn’t even know where he’s heading, but it might be the first time he's felt some semblance of peace with you around.

The announcer on the radio station introduces the next song. Sunwoo turns it up and sings alongside Kim Younghoon’s voice. You stop humming.

“You like this song?” You ask.

He quickly glances at you. “Yeah, who doesn’t.” The song was insanely popular a year or two ago. If you didn’t like it at first, you heard it enough on the radio and in every store until you did. Although, it doesn’t actually take anyone very many listens to fall in love with it. Unfortunately, the rest of Kim Younghoon’s songs never quite lived up to this one.

“I wrote this song.” You say to him, as if it’s the most simple thing.

“Oh, really?” Sunwoo replies with a chuckle. “You worked with Kim Younghoon?”

“Well, not all of it, but the melody and most of the lyrics, yes.” You tell him seriously, like you haven’t even registered that he thought you were joking. “I mean, worked is a strong word, but we did date for a bit.”

Sunwoo stops at a red light and spends it staring you in disbelief.

“Come on,” you say after a moment, “you really think Kim Younghoon wrote this song?”

Sunwoo listens to it again: They could never get it out of their heads. Like a scene on repeat. Like a mountain falling. Something unforgettable, but forgotten still. Something like you. Someone like me.

And instantly, it clicks–of course you wrote this song. Of course it’s the case that Kim Younghoon’s best song and one of Sunwoo’s favorites was written by none other than you.

He looks over at you while at another light. Your head leans back against the car seat, and your arm hangs over the edge of the open window. You don’t look like you’re enjoying listening to the song even if you are the one that wrote it. In fact, you look mildly annoyed, nose scrunched while inspecting your nail beds, teeth grinding.

Sunwoo changes the station thinking: why’d you let him take it?

Before he can really think about it any further, you sit up in your seat and point at the next light.

“Turn right up there. I know a place.”

—

When you had said that you knew a place, Sunwoo imagined that it’d be a coffee shop or an empty bar or anything other than the middle of the woods sitting on the rocks along a stream.

Although, he must give you credit: the setting you’ve taken him to is beautiful. There are birds humming and life strumming all around you. The water is a blistering blue that glistens and shines in the sunlight streaming through the trees like a million coins falling from the sky. The water has a small current running through it, and it beats against the rocks lightly, like the lightest, most gentle drum beat. The breeze is nice and cool on Sunwoo’s skin, sifting through his hair and past his limbs. And maybe the best part is how all around him, on every single side, he’s surrounded by green.

It would have been perfect, if not for the fact that you and him have been here for two hours and still have absolutely nothing.

“Okay,” you relent, after he turns down another one of your ideas for a song, “how about this melody?”

You start humming one of the worst melodies Sunwoo’s ever heard in his life.

“Absolutely not.”

You grunt frustrated, arms falling through the air. Your head follows suit, settling in your hands, face buried from his view.

“Why’d you even say yes to this?” You snap, looking up at him after a moment, brows furrowed and hands gesturing vaguely in the air. “If you have no intention of taking any idea I give you seriously, why did you say yes to this?”

“I didn’t.” Sunwoo reminds you. “Neither of us did. Chanhee kicked us out of the studio.”

“I don’t mean that.” You flare. “I mean letting me in to do this album with the Numbers. Why’d you agree to it?”

There’s a change in the wind. A sudden quietness that must be attributed to some insect dying. Sunwoo hadn’t expected you to ask this. He hadn’t even expected you to think it.

“It wasn’t…” he starts, looking for the words in the space between you and him. He looks up at you, hoping to find them there. Instead he finds hope in them.

Sunwoo has been in this exact spot before–sitting in front of someone that wants to believe in him and is asking him to give them a reason. He’s seen this before, and he has no interest in repeating his past mistakes. He sees no need to add you to the list of people he’s disappointed. With a short laugh, he says, “You know what, let’s just get back to writing.”

“Fuck that.” You respond immediately, grabbing at his guitar.

“What are you–”

“No. Fuck that.” You repeat, successfully pushing his guitar off his lap. “If this is going to work, you have to at least pretend like you trust me. Song writing isn’t just strumming on your guitar all day and hoping for the best. It’s vulnerability, and it’s pouring your heart and soul and life into something and praying that someone out there feels the same way. That’s what ‘Begin Again’ was. And every single person who listened and liked that song and every single person who sang with us at the festival is saying that they feel the same way. So, what are you so afraid of? Why do you feel like you can’t trust me?”

Sunwoo gulps. “Which question should I answer first?”

You inhale slowly. “The latter.”

Sunwoo just shakes his head. “I don’t know you.”

“Ask me then.” You say desperately, like it should have been obvious to him, “whatever it is that you want to know just ask it.”

Sunwoo nods. In truth, there’s a million questions he wants to ask you about everything, but at this moment, all those questions sink to the bottom of his mind and only one rises to the top and travels to the tip of his tongue. “Why’d you let Kim Younghoon take credit for that song?”

You lean back slightly at his questions. Looking away from him and towards the murky waters before answering. “Believe it or not, I wasn’t always like this.” You tell him, laughing lightly. “I used to let guys like you walk all over me.”

His heart jumps into his throat. He’s barely able to choke out a, “guys like me?”

You nod, still refusing to meet his eyes. “Guys who don’t believe that I have what it takes.”

“I never said that.”

“But you showed me.”

“When?”

You look at him then, squinting. He hopes what you see is genuineness. He asked the question sincerely. “When you were so quick and ready to dismiss my changes to the lyrics during the ‘Begin Again’ takes. When you let me join your band on this album, and then expected me to sing an entire record full of songs that mean nothing to me. I’m a songwriter, Sunwoo. It’s the one thing about me that no one can take.”

Something between intrigue and malice slips in behind his tongue. “So what can people take?”

You shake your head, smiling ever so slightly. “My turn. What are you so afraid of?”

Sunwoo inhales sharply. “Well, I’m afraid of dying and of heights and–”

“Stop that.” You cut in, like you really mean it. “Why are you so afraid to say what you really think?”

He sucks in his bottom lip, shrugging. “‘Begin Again’ was your song more than it was mine. What if people don’t like what I have to say? What if they can’t relate and just think I’m fucked up and crazy?”

Your eyes soften, and your smile lines deepen. It takes a moment for him to register that you're smiling, really smiling, at him. He’s never known a smile could feel so inviting.

“But what if they do?”

Sunwoo takes a moment to think about what you’ve said. And in that moment, whatever insect had died gets resurrected, returning to nature’s hum, filling his ears. Sunwoo looks all around him. The hum of life, the beat of water, the tune of leaves falling. He’s surrounded not just by nature and greenery, but also by music. And it’s erupting from every corner of these woods.

His eyes finally land on you.

“I think I found our melody.”

When you come into the studio the next day, the song is done. You went to sleep humming it still and running through the lyrics over and over again in your head.

“Let us sing it for you first,” Sunwoo suggests to the rest of the band with Chanhee listening in from the control room. “And whenever you feel like you got it, just hop in with what you think works, and we can refine and shape it from there.”

You watch the rest of the band as Sunwoo explains it. Juyeon looks shocked, but excited. Changmin looks proud. And you can’t really read what the other two are thinking.

“Chanhee, are we good?” Sunwoo asks, turning around to the window into the control room.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Chanhee replies, voice filtering in through the intercom. You nod. Sunwoo nods. The rest of the band nods. Chanhee presses a couple buttons and says, “This is ‘Can You See Me’.”

Sunwoo starts playing the chords he found yesterday. You’re not sure why or how but it reminds you of those woods. His voice starts singing the first line of the song. You close your eyes and take it in. You join him for the chorus, singing alongside his voice feeling the words flow. It’s Kevin that joins you two first, playing a couple loose notes, testing things out. By the end of the chorus, he’s found it, playing a little more confidently and adding a whole new level of depth to the song. A depth that makes you feel like you’ve only ever known two colors your whole life and in a matter of seconds Kevin added in a third. Jacob joins in next, as your voice takes over for the second verse, playing off what Sunwoo was playing but making it his own. Sunwoo goes over to where Changmin’s sitting and says something to him in his ear. Changmin nods. Sunwoo goes over to Juyeon, but Juyeon shakes his head, already starting to play something. Sunwoo heads back to his mic right before the second chorus starts. You turn and sing the last line of the pre-chorus to him

And I know that you never trusted me.

He joins you for the chorus, singing back.

Can you see me standing from there? And can you see the blood on my hands? If I give you all of the parts to my heart, Will you care that I’ve been scarred and stitched up?

Changmin starts playing then, the drums filling in the last thing the song needed. You listen to the rest of the band play and marvel at how insanely talented they all are to pick up and play something that actually works after only a minute of hearing it. The song needs polishing, yes, but it’s got a good sound and it’s heading in the right direction.

You don’t take your eyes off Sunwoo, and he doesn’t take his eyes off you. And for the remainder of the song, you sing to each other.

The song ends. The last one playing is Kevin. And for a couple seconds, no one says anything.

It’s Chanhee’s voice that comes out of the silence first. “I’m a fucking genius.”

You smile at Sunwoo. He smiles back.

After recording and polishing ‘Can You See Me’, you and Sunwoo fall into a song-making rhythm of sorts.

(We don’t always have it perfect.)

“I feel like this lyric in ‘Puzzle Pieces’ doesn’t fit.” You say to Sunwoo, before muttering the lyric outloud. “It’s too shy. I don’t know. I just think it’s missing the mark a little bit, don’t you think?”

Sunwoo groans tiredly. “God, I can’t think about this anymore. Can we take a break? Go get some food or something?”

“Yes, but before we do, do you think ‘I see us standing in the distance’ or ‘I see you standing in the distance’ works better here?”

Sunwoo just stands ignoring your question and muttering ‘no’ repeatedly.

You follow, running after him and begging him to listen.

(Boy, do we fight.)

“I think there should be more drums in the hook.” Sunwoo announces after the third run through.

“Why?”

His eyes widen, sarcastically. “Because there should be.”

“Don’t do that.” You scoff, used to his antics. “Answer the question: why?”

He sighs, resting his hands on his hips. “It’s missing something. The song still feels empty. I mean, the lyrics allude to a love that’s blooming and growing between two individuals, but nothing behind the lyrics build up with it. There’s almost a disconnect between the words and the music.”

“I disagree.”

He scoffs. “All that for–”

“I think it works just fine without the drums, and if you add the drums it’ll become more suspenseful. The song is supposed to feel like falling.”

He shakes his head. “It’s supposed to feel like butterflies.”

“It’s supposed to feel like peace.”

(Sometimes you win.)

“Let’s vote.” Sunwoo suggests. “If you’re for the drums, raise your hand.”

Only Changmin (the drummer), does.

(Sometimes you lose.)

Chanhee presses the red button on the sound board, announcing to the recording stage, “Take 3 of Aurora. Sunwoo, try softening your voice a little for this one.”

“Chanhee, can we just try one take with me in it?” You ask him. “I think even if I were just singing a harmony or in the background of the bridge, it would add so much.”

“No.” Chanhee says, scribbling something down in his notebook. “I’m with Sunwoo on this one.”

“Chanhee, you haven’t even heard my–”

“This song doesn’t need your voice.”

(But sometimes, we get it just right and fit like the last two puzzle pieces.)

“No,” you say, shaking your head as Jacob and Juyeon finish off the last chords of the song, “It needs to sound murkier.”

Jacob, Kevin, Changmin, and Juyeon just stare at you blankly.

“Less cymbals, Changmin.” Sunwoo says over the speaker from the control room. “And Juyeon, ride out the low tones more.”

You turn and see him. He catches your eyes, smiling slightly, reassuring you. Like he gets you.

From behind you, you hear Kevin lightheartedly mutter, “since when do they have their own language?”

Jacob and Changmin laugh, but you barely notice because you see him. You see the way his brows furrow when he’s thinking. You see the way he sticks out his tongue when he’s focused. You see all of it.

And for a moment, he sees you. All of you. And he doesn’t turn away from it.

Today’s songwriting session quickly turned into a field trip from the studio to grab food which then turned into you leading Sunwoo’s car to the beach. You and Sunwoo sit on a stone ledge, right where the sand begins, 20 paces away from the ocean. Between you sits leftover fries and your untouched song notebook. You watch the sun dip into the sea and listen to the waves crash over and over again. The wind pushes furiously, tossing his hair to the side and pushes his head away from it. It just so happens that away from the wind means towards you.

“So,” you begin, popping a fry in your mouth and dusting the salt off your hands, “when are you going to answer my question of why you let me in the band?”

Sunwoo figured this question was coming. He’s been avoiding answering it. “You really want to know?”

You look at him sincerely. “Yes.”

Sunwoo looks out to the water. “After our first album, Chanhee prepared a tour for us. It was this tiny tour, not even big enough for a tour manager. We played in the smallest venues with okay-sized crowds. I mean, it was barely a tour, really more of a way to get our name out there. And after the northern leg of it, I…” Sunwoo closes his eyes and sees moments from that tour flash behind his lids: strobe lights, bodies in bed, empty glasses, and negative pockets. Sometimes memories can feel like nightmares. “I was just in a really, really, bad place. By the time we were halfway down the east coast, I was barely even able to play. Chanhee saved me then. He saved my fucking life. But he had to cancel the rest of the tour in that process. The rest of the band, man, they couldn’t even stand the sight of my face. Juyeon especially. It was Chanhee who ended up being the one to convince them to let me back in. I owe Chanhee my entire livelihood and my life. So when he asked what I thought about you joining the band for this album and when I saw how badly he wanted it to happen, I owed it to him to say yes.”

It’s been so long since he’s recounted that story, even to himself. It doesn’t hurt as much as it once did. That knowledge surprises him.

“Where are you now?” You ask suddenly, pulling him out of his head.

He turns to you. “What?”

“If you were in a bad place then, where are you now?”

The wind quiets for a moment; he feels a warmth overtake him in its absence. “Someplace better.”

He looks down, not even noticing the smile growing on his face, and catches sight of your notebook. He points at it, asking, “may I?”

You look down at it as well, grabbing another fry. “Sure.”

He flips through the pages of your notebook. The first half isn’t even songs. It’s snippets, words, singular sentences taking up an entire page. It’s only halfway through the book that it actually turns into something that could be called songwriting. He asks you about it.

“Ah, that’s when I met Chanhee.” You tell him, smiling fondly. Sunwoo puts the notebook down and waits for you to explain. “Before him, I had songs, but they weren’t real songs, you know? They were just some combination of all the snippets and sentences I had written down. But then Chanhee heard me play at the Eastern, and said that I had a good voice. He asked if he could give me his card so that we could talk more, and I said that I wasn’t interested in people who only saw me for my voice and walked away.”

“You’re insane.” Sunwoo mutters, baffled. He remembers the chance encounter he had with Chanhee right after he and the band moved down here to make a name for themselves. He remembers how hard he begged for the same chance Chanhee offered to you so simply. “So, how’d you end up working with him then?”

“He found me again at the diner I used to work at after that. I told him I still wasn’t interested, and he asked if I had written the song I played that night at the Eastern. I said yes, and he said that he was only interested in my voice because my songs weren’t there yet.”

Sunwoo chuckles. “So he’s always been an asshole then?”

“Oh yeah.” You nod, mirroring the sound. “He was an asshole about it, but he was right. And it was the first time that someone believed in me enough to think that I could be better. That is what made me want to try and write a song that would make him see that I’m as good of a songwriter as I am a singer. I spent a lot of time working and got out one good song. I sang it all across the strip. He finally saw me play again at Ben’s Garage. I let him sign me after that.”

“What was that song about?”

Your lips do this half frown thing that makes Sunwoo want to peer inside your brain and figure out exactly where it came from. “It was about what all songs are about.”

“Which is?”

You look at him like it’s obvious. “Love.”

It feels like a shot of sunlight through his veins.

Sunwoo drives you back home after the beach. You had gotten nothing done in terms of the album, but you felt happy, and you felt free. You watch him from the corner of your eye. You’ve only known each other for some months now, but it feels like so much longer. You’ve told him more about yourself and your past than anyone else you’ve met in your adult life. You’ve told him your deepest worries and darkest secrets, and he never turned away from you, not once. Instead he took your insecurities and turned them into beautiful melodies. He turned all your doubts into celebrations of hope. And he did it for you.

Suddenly, it no longer feels like you only met him when you recorded ‘Begin Again’ together. Suddenly, it feels like you’ve known him since you were a teenager and like you’ve been in love with him ever since. Your palms start to sweat. Your heart sinks past your lungs. Is it all those goddamn fries or him that’s making your stomach turn?

He turns onto your street. This is it, you think to yourself. He’s everything I’ve been waiting for.

He walks you to your door, and you stand facing each other on your porch.

“This was nice.” You tell him, taking another step towards him.

“It was.” He mumbles, a lazy smile on his face.

You take another step towards him. He doesn’t move back. His mouth parts. You watch his lips, trace them with your gaze. You think about what it would feel like to kiss them.

“Do you want to come in for a bit?” The words come flying out of your mouth involuntarily. You barely register that you’ve said them. They didn’t come from your mind but from a tiny spot deep in your gut where the urge to take another step towards him lies. You give into that urge without thinking twice about it. You’re closer to him than you’ve been in months. The last time you were this close being that moment on stage during the ‘Begin Again’ performance. You’re surprised you remember that. His breaths then were ragged, uneven. His breaths now are barely there, like he isn’t even breathing. You can smell the mint he popped in his mouth when you left from the beach. You can smell whatever perfume he must’ve sprayed on his neck this morning.

And you’re so wholly aware of the fact that his eyes are looking at your lips.

He turns away from you and glances at your door, saying, “I should go.”

You feel something in your chest sink and sink and sink.

“I’ll see you in the studio tomorrow.” He continues. “We still gotta help Kevin figure out his part for ‘Puzzle Pieces’.”

And with that he’s off, and you’re left standing on the porch alone wondering how someone can look at you like that and then just leave. You look down by your feet and see your heart sitting there, next to your shoes. You leave it there and head it inside.

The next day, Chanhee cancels your studio time without explanation and reschedules you and the band for the following day.

When that day finally does come, Sunwoo doesn’t show up on time to help you and Kevin figure out the right notes to play for the song you wrote together like he said. Instead, he stumbles into the studio late with a song in his hand wearing the same clothes he wore with you at the beach. And that alone, feels like a betrayal of some sort.

“What’s it about?” Jacob asks.

He looks around the room, excited. “It’s about my new partner.”

You feel the urge to vomit all over the recording stage.

—

Luca, it turns out, is Sunwoo’s partner’s name. Sunwoo had brought them into the studio a week after they started dating, and they’ve been coming routinely ever since. As much as you hate it and as much as it makes your heart bend and break, Sunwoo looks really, genuinely happy with Luca. You wonder if he ever looked like that with you.

You really wish you hated Luca, but you don’t. They’re actually quite nice and get along with the whole band so easily. They even make friends with Chanhee. You thought they might be a distraction to Sunwoo while writing and recording, but Sunwoo is more focused and productive and creative than ever. The song he wrote right after meeting Luca is good, like stupidly good. There isn’t a single word in it that needs changing.

With your help, Sunwoo writes another song about them, called ‘Light of My Life.’ It’s while writing that song that you find out that Luca was never a stranger, and that day after the beach was not their first meeting. It’s Changmin who tells you how Luca is from their hometown and how Sunwoo and Luca used to date.

The day that you record ‘Light of My Life’ Luca is also in the studio, sitting in the control room and laughing at something with Eric.

You light up my life even when it’s dark. You both sing together. It’s an acoustic song; only Jacob stands behind you guys strumming the chords on his guitar. The rest of the band didn’t even come in today. You color my world even when I’m feeling blue. You glance over at Sunwoo. He isn’t looking your way. He’s looking at Luca through the control room window. When I’m with you, I never feel alone. You think about the times when he used to look at you while recording. When you hold me, baby, I feel at home. Luca looks back at Sunwoo. It hits you how beautiful they are, with dyed silver hair and slender face. You don’t blame Sunwoo for writing such a beautiful song about them. You don’t blame yourself for helping him. I can’t believe this has happened to me. Right before the next line, Sunwoo finally finally turns and looks at you. I feel alive because of you.

Sunwoo turns back to the control room. Sunwoo wrote this song for Luca, but he wasn’t the only writer on this song, and so, for the rest of the song, you wonder who the hell you wrote this song for?

—

A tune comes to you while you drive home that night. You scribble down a couple lyrics in your notebook as soon as you walk in your door.

Silver hair. Silver skin. Sliver of my heart you took with him.

Jacob throws a party that weekend. A housewarming for the house he bought with the ‘Begin Again’ checks. Stepping in through the foyer, you question whether you should be buying a house too. You forget that thought by the time you reach the drinks table.

After your hellos to the rest of the band and all the small talk with people Jacob wanted to introduce you to, you end up standing alone in his backyard, sloshing around the dark liquid in your cup. Truthfully, you’ve barely left your apartment all week. You hadn’t been in the mood for a party. But it’s nice out here. The air is fresh and crisp. The lights, which Changmin and Juyeon enthusiastically and drunkenly told you they helped put up, are warm but not too bright. You imagine you’ll stay out here for the rest of the party.

“Hi,” you hear a voice say from behind you. You turn around only to find Luca. You hope your face doesn’t betray you when you greet them back. “What are you doing out here?”

You gulp down a bitter sip of your drink. “Just wanted some quiet.”

“Same. Kevin started doing karaoke again.”

“Oof.” You groan sympathetically. “Already?”

They nod with a laugh. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen all of them.”

You like Luca. You really do. It’s just taken you until now to realize that you don’t really know them apart from small talk in the studio and the two songs Sunwoo wrote about them. “When did you move down here from your guys’ hometown?”

“Oh.” Their chin juts out a bit. “I moved down with the band actually.”

You don’t hide the surprise on your face.

“I take it no one told you that then.” Luca chuckles darkly. You shake your head. “Uh, well, yeah,” they continue, shoving their free hand into their pocket, “Sunwoo and I started dating right when the band formed. I used to do the photography for them. And when they proposed moving out here, I thought I ought to come with. And I did.” They gulp their drink. “It was good for a while. Really fun in the beginning. But then I got my job taking pictures for the paper, and they were doing the album. And well,” Luca looks at you like you already know what their about to say. “It already wasn’t really working anymore by the time the album was finished. And then they went on tour…”

They leave that part blank. But based on what you heard from Sunwoo about that first tour, you can piece together what might’ve happened. You question whether Luca left that empty to spare Sunwoo or to spare themself. Then you question how they knew you knew about it.

“Oh.” Is all you say. You don’t ask about when they encountered each other again. You don’t want to hear it.

“You know,” Luca begins again, “I actually used to watch you play at the Tabernacle.”

You groan immediately. You only ever played at the Tabernacle when you first started. You cringe thinking about what you might’ve sang on stage in front of them. “Oh my god. I’m so embarrassed to even think about those days.”

“No! Don’t be!” They reassure, kindly. “You were really good. I especially liked that one song that went like… The days were wide open, as far as the eye could see.”

Your heart nearly soars straight out of your body. You had forgotten about this song. You used to love it dearly. You join Sunwoo’s partner for the second line.

The world was mine to take, but I’ve never been good at accepting things.

“You and the band together,” Luca says a moment after you both stop singing, “it’s magical, don’t get me wrong, but that song,” they smile at you, “it’s a damn good song.”

You can’t help but smile back. “Thank you.”

“Sunwool showed me a couple of the songs from the album.” Luca mentions, and it instantly and heartbreakingly reminds you who you’re talking to. “They’re amazing. They’re so good and real and raw that it almost makes me wonder…” their voice tapers off, losing the sound to a small exhale that appears as if it was meant to be a laugh, “Nevermind.”

“What?” You poke, instinctively leaning in towards them.

They meet your eyes, creases running along their forehead and frown lines more prominent than ever. “It almost makes me wonder if there was something between you both.”

You swallow, pointing at your chest. Your voice comes out raspy without you meaning for it to. “Me and Sunwoo?”

They nod. “Yeah, I mean the lyrics in ‘Begin Again’—“

“That song’s not about me. Or about him.” You defend. “We didn’t even know each other when we wrote that.”

“What about ‘Can You See Me’?”

Your breath catches. Truthfully, you answer, “I don’t know what that song’s about.”

—

When you get home that night, you finish the song you started writing about Sunwoo and Luca.

When you breathe in his lips, do you think of mine? What kind of songs were we making? Were they all lies?

“What’s it called?” The question comes from Changmin.

You look up from the paper in your hands filled with the lyrics you had completed over the weekend and after Jacob’s party. You notice he looks sad. You turn your gaze to Juyeon. You can’t really tell what he’s thinking at that moment.

“Uhm–I don’t know. I haven’t thought of a title yet.”

Sunwoo walks in then. “What are you guys talking about?” He asks, setting down his stuff. Then, more to himself than to you guys, he murmurs, “And where are Kevin and Jacob?”

Changmin and Juyeon don’t say anything. Instead, when Sunwoo asks what you’re doing, they both look at you. You imagine even if Kevin and Jacob were here, they’d do the same. Have you really been this transparent? At what point did they put together all the pieces?

You hand Sunwoo the song. You have no idea what his reaction will be.

He just nods, like he has no idea what the song is about. Like he doesn’t see his name and Luca’s scribbled in the margins.

“Call it ‘Silver Lies’.” He says.

Juyeon makes a noise. “Call it ‘Silver Linings’.”

“Vote on it?” Sunwoo proposes.

“No.” You look at Juyeon. He stares back at you. Something unspoken lies in the space between. “We’ll call it ‘Silver Linings’.”

A party rages around you. Flashing teeth and flashing lights. Another drink, another riff. You don’t even know where you are right now. You remember coming home after working on ‘Silver Linings’; you remember wanting to forget your own mind. This is the only way you know how.

You don’t even know how long it’s been.

This is what you do know: You’re sitting by a pool. Your feet are wet. You haven’t been this drunk since your 18th birthday. Kim Sunwoo is standing across the pool from you.

Your face breaks out in a smile. Sober you will regret that. Sober you will also regret how your first thought is that he looks beautiful. You’ll regret the fact that you finally, drunkenly but honestly, admit to yourself how pretty you think he is, how you’ve thought so since your first time hearing him sing, and how you’ve been so painfully aware of it ever since.

You let yourself fall in the water. Head sinking for a moment, before breaking the surface again. Floating on your back, you start humming the melody to ‘Silver Linings’ in your head.

Silver hair. Silver skin. Sliver of my heart you took with him.

You can’t tell if it’s the chlorine or something more pathetic that burns the corner of your eyes and runs down the side of your cheeks.

You feel something tug on your arm. The sudden jolt makes you lose your balance, falling beneath the water. You’re so fucking wasted you forget if you even know how to swim; you almost forget to not breathe.

You feel a pair of arms pull you up and hold your head above the surface. You know who they belong to. It strikes you in the back of your mind that this is the first time you’ve been touched by him. So maybe that’s why you relish in the feel of his arms around your waist and the way his hand grips at your hip.

He looks at you like you’re filth. Just as all your partners before him did. First they’re sweet and charming, but it always ends like this. In their arms, simultaneously wanting to be far away and fighting the urge to beg: love me, please.

Even if he wasn’t your partner, even if all he was was a hope and a ‘what if’.

You barely even register it when you say, “you're just like the rest of them.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He rages back, not even acknowledging what you said.

“Nothing.” You tell him, smiling, wishing like hell that you believed it.

“You missed our studio time. We were supposed to record ‘Silver Linings’.” He fumes at you. “Do you know what time it is? Do you even know what day it is?”

“Do you know how much of a fucking mood kill you can be?” You bite back.

“What are you on?” He looks repulsed. You hate it. Hate the way that you showed him your whole heart and that he still looks at you like this.

Seething, you say, “What do you think?”

And that—that is what breaks him. What makes him lose his shit and start screaming.

“Chanhee is fuming at us!”

You barely notice it. Instead, you repeat in your head the words to the one song you truly, wholeheartedly wrote for him.

“The record label isn’t going to let this slide, you do realize that, don’t you?”

When you breathe in his lips, do you think of mine?

“You wasted an entire day of recording!”

What kind of songs were we making?

“No.” You say finally, voice coming out quiet. It sounds so misplaced and so wrong next to all the yelling between you two. “We wasted so much more than that.”

Were they all lies?

For the first time since you’ve seen him tonight, he doesn’t say anything back. He just stares at you, like he can see straight through. The party continues all around you. It never stopped. It never quieted down. And yet, it somehow feels like you and him are the only ones in this pool. Like you’re stuck in time. Like you’ve created your own world with him and that’s where you’ve retreated to now.

“Was any of it real?” You ask before you can stop the words. You hate how pathetic you sound. You hate how desperate it all is.

All he says before leaving you in the water alone is: “I’m with Luca now.”

He splashes water in your face on his way out.

a/n: originally posted as a svt fic, but lowk feels like it fits sunwoo even better. not proof read very thoroughly so pls lemme know if you noticed any mistakes lol

#sunwoo x reader #the boyz x reader #the boyz fanfic #sunwoo fanfic #sunwoo scenarios #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #sunwoo imagines #sunwoo fluff #sunwoo angst #the boyz fluff #the boyz angst #mine #*ode to you #kim sunwoo x reader #kim sunwoo imagines

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bangtanfanfiction · 3 months

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love at first squat? → k. sunwoo

Listen I'm a whore for Sunwoo this comeback. I will use every opportunity to praise that beautiful man.

♢ Pairing: Sunwoo x Gym rat!Reader → Idol AU

♢ Word count: 2.2k

♢ Genre: Fluff, suggestive, established relationship

⌲ Description: Inviting you to join him at the gym with his members was supposed to be a cute outing. Instead Sunwoo is left speechless and probably more in love than he thought possible. ↳ Warnings: Cursing, horny thoughts, mentions of sex, Sunwoo is ready to call you mommy (jk. maybe not. idk)

Listen.

Sunwoo wasn’t stupid, okay.

Besides his obvious talent for being annoyingly witty, he considered himself to be fairly intelligent.

Which is why he was quite certain there were very few situations these days that would make him feel like an idiot.

But here he was. Feeling like a complete, flustered idiot.

All because of you.

Okay fair enough, it was his fault this situation happened at all. But still.

Being a twenty-three-year-old man, Sunwoo doubted there was much in the world that could turn him back into a speechless, bubbling idiot after being in the entertainment industry as long as he had.

He’s seen it all. Over-the-top performances, beautiful idols, arenas filled to the brim as well as anything negative to follow those specific areas.

And so Sunwoo had the brilliant idea of wanting to spend some time with you today that didn’t just include laying around and eating a bunch of snacks.

Something cute, y’know. Wholesome. Instagram worthy without the posting etc, etc. You get the idea.

Since it’s only been six months since the two of you started dating officially, after all. He had to keep the fun going somehow.

He was also confident that he knew most of your likes and dislikes at this point.

For instance, Sunwoo knew you loved the gym. You were 110% a gym girl with nearly all stereotypes to follow.

He rarely saw you outside of comfy hoodies and sweats. He knew about your strict five-day workout routine you kept to almost religiously. He knew you struggled with fulfilling your needed protein count every day because you always complained to him about it.

In all honesty, Sunwoo shouldn’t have been as surprised to actually see you in a gym environment. He knew you were fit and healthy - Of course he did. He‘s seen your naked body more times than he could count at this point.

But all those times had also been in a private relaxed space. Often after eating takeout with a bloated stomach each.

So when some of his very avid gym-going members asked if he wanted to join them, he further stretched that invitation to you. Hoping to get a day spent together out of it.

He had never seen you reply to something as quick as that.

You had met him in front of the private gym their personal trainer owned a walking distance away from the company. Dressed in a comfortable loose set of white sweats and matching hoodie, a black gym bag swung over your shoulder as you skipped the last distance towards him, launching into a tight hug.

“Hi.” Sunwoo smiled down at you, brushed away some stray hair falling into your face.

“Hi.” You returned it with a wide grin, leaning up on your toes to press a series of pecks on his irresistible lips, like an overbearing mother without the maternal instinct obviously.

“Missed me?” It had been a little over a week since you last managed to meet up in the midst of their recent comeback.

And God, what a comeback that was.

“I always do.” You were never shy of your affection towards him, even to the point of making him shy in front of his members. “It’s unfair how perfect this comeback fits you.”

Your fingers flicked his parted hair with a wink.

Sunwoo only kept grinning - you had already shared your very enthusiastic opinion of him five minutes after the MV had dropped, texting a whole paragraph on how beautiful he looked and how your possessive nature might just turn deadly. (Jokingly, that is)

You had been in his shared dorm with Chanhee, Changmin and Younghoon spread throughout the living room and kitchen, tucked into the corner of their L-formed couch as you watched their most recent live performance - Sunwoo right beside you, waiting for your reaction.

He had paid careful attention, especially when his part had come on. You had watched the entire video silently with a completely straight face.

Chanhee would forever hold his trauma over your heads having been a witness to see you dragging Sunwoo to his room by the front of his shirt, locking the door audibly with a click before the sounds of thumping music came on to hide the sounds of your very obvious antics.

They didn't need to listen to know what the two of you were up to. Not with how Sunwoo seemed to be on cloud nine the rest of the week.

("Best fucking blowjob ever.")

Your screen saver was later a picture of his iconic part in 'Watch it'.

His hand slid a little lower at the memory, against the visible dip of your lower back and perky ass. One of his favourite physical traits on you, and Sunwoo would never be ashamed of being an ass man.

Shaking his head, he gave your butt a fond tap as you both made your way inside the building. The other members were already inside; Sangyeon, Jaehyun, Kevin, and Eric were in various positions stretching their bodies.

You greeted them all cheerily with a wave and grin, before thanking their PT for allowing you to use the gym.

Sunwoo was half listening to their workouts planned out while also glancing at you through his peripheral vision - curiosity driving him to see you for the first time in a gym together.

You were obviously in the zone, within a corner of the private gym, not wanting to get in their way.

He saw you tipping back a dry scoop of pre-workout and washing it down, before stretching just like them. You were still patiently at it as he began his first workout, falling into the same concentration with his members scattered around him doing their own things; their PT walking around and fixing any details.

Sunwoo had just finished all his sets of a lat pulldown when the praise came from Sangyeon in a disbelieving mutter, stopping in his DB shoulder presses.

“Whoa, that’s insane.”

Turning around, Sunwoo’s cough mid-water sip was not subtle.

You were on whatever set of your hip thrusts, 200kg worth of plates on the bar as you breathed in concentration, not even aware of how much attention you had drawn. Your soundproof headphones made sure of it.

You had shed the hoodie and sweats, only a pair of navy blue shorts and an oversized t-shirt he recognized as his, tucked into the band of your sports bra behind as you pushed through. The bar clattered slightly as you dropped back down. With a relieved sigh, you stood up only to flinch in shock to see him and his members still staring.

Pushing back the headphones, you gave an awkward smile. “Hi?”

Sangyeon walked forward with an admiring grin. “Y/N that’s crazy! How long did it take you to get you that weight?” The two of you easily fell into conversation with Sunwoo still on mute.

You had always clicked quickly with his oldest member, being such big gym goers to the point of obsession. Where Sunwoo also enjoyed going to the gym, he didn’t see it as his priority besides aesthetic pleasure.

Not that he didn’t appreciate those who did.

Speaking of...His eyes started to trail down your body.

How the shorts were clinging to your quads, muscles shifting as your feet moved on the spot while talking, to your damn impressive round ass - frankly looking huge with the pump it had just gone through. He could see a sliver of skin from where your t-shirt was tucked up, showing off the lean lines of your strong back.

God, Sunwoo was certain your quads were bigger than his head (They were).

Despite your makeup-free face, flushed skin, and sweat coating it - you had never looked hotter to him.

“Give us a warning if you’re planning to go crazy.” Kevin’s voice snickering next to him snapped Sunwoo out of his stupor.

“Huh?”

His hyung didn’t stop smirking knowingly. “You’re drooling. So if you’re planning to drag her away, at least warn us of the trauma of witnessing something we don’t want to.”

A blush spread across his face and the tip of his ears as Sunwoo complained. “Ah, hyung! I’m not going to do that.”

He had more decency than that. (Not really.)

Glancing over again, he watched as Sangyeon was helping you rerack the weights and moving the bar to a squat position -your next workout - the two of you moving with surety in every move around the equipment.

You gave him a perfect view of your ass again as you bent to pick up the last plate, the muscles of your hamstrings tightening impressively, his head tilting to follow the movement.

Sunwoo wondered how he had never noticed that detail before.

He would have to appreciate your body again (very) carefully once he got the chance.

If it weren’t for the rough push Kevin put on his shoulder to continue with his workout, Sunwoo would have probably just stood there staring to his own embarrassment.

“Baby, can you spot me?”

You waited in patient amusement for his double take at the weights resting on the squat rack before his brows furrowed.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll have to save me if anything happens.”

You snorted out a laugh, his deadpan sense of humour was always a weakness of yours. Making you laugh with a simple sentence even if said in complete seriousness.

“I’m not hitting over my max today, so you’re good.” You only chuckled, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards you slowly, as if coaxing a frightened animal. Only this one kept his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Nothing is gonna happen, I just need a little bit of support on the last rep.”

“What support am I supposed to give?” Sunwoo eyed the plates carefully, voice flat. “That’s more than my body weight.”

Giving him a quick look up and down; dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants with a fitting tank top, you gave the vision of absolute innocence. “Visual support.”

Kevin, who was quick to get your innuendo from the bench next to you, laughed out loud. Before Sunwoo could comprehend what you meant, you had already moved into position for the squat.

Sunwoo could only shake his head as he carefully shifted into a supporting position behind you, knees bending alongside your form but never touching.

"Fine, but if I break something you're taking my place in promotions."

"I'm sure Deobi's will love me more than you anyways." You stuck out your tongue in retort before starting with a huff.

He could see your strain by the seventh rep, thighs shaking and face scrunching up in concentration.

But he saw the determination. And despite the risk of his demise, Sunwoo moved closer.

“You got it, come on.” He encouraged you, gently tapping your hip as you let out a large breath and pushed up, succeeding without him having to risk his life.

“Okay, you two, enough of the lovey-dovey, back to work Sunwoo.” Their PT called out lightly.

About an hour later, you were resting after finishing stretching, casually leaning against the wall with a hip popped out and scrolling through your phone when Sunwoo snuck up behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling your body flush against his chest.

“Hi.” You only smiled up over your shoulder. “All finished?”

“You’re being unfair,” Was all he said, burying his nose into the crook of your neck and shoulder, tickling you as you squirmed.

“About what?” You laughed.

“Distracting me…” He mumbled with a pout. “I could hardly concentrate this entire session. I think I fell in love all over again."

"If I knew my legs were so powerful I would have squatted in front of you on our first meeting."

Sunwoo bit his lower lip to hide a smile. "Love at first squat, you say?"

“Unless you're just jealous of my thighs, that is.” Despite the flutter of your heart, you continued to tease him lightly, stretching out a leg and tightening your muscles still pumped out from your session. “I’ll teach you how to get them.”

Sunwoo hummed lowly against your ear, and you knew he was plotting something.

“I’d rather be buried between them.”

Your scandalous gasp was loud as you whirled around to slap his chest, catching the attention of the rest of the guys who were cleaning up.

“Kim Sunwoo, we are in public!” You whisper-shouted in mortification. It was his turn to smirk at you in satisfaction, only giving an innocent shrug.

“Ugh, Sunwoo is being indecent, hyung. Scold him.” Eric called out with an exaggerated shudder, turning to Sangyeon. The leader only sighed exasperated. Already far too used to you and Sunwoo's shows of PDA.

“You didn’t even hear what I said,” Sunwoo called out.

“I didn’t have to! Y/N proved it.”

“Well maybe I offered her ice scream and she got overjoyed.” He retorted, their usual bickering starting up again.

“Suuuure, if ice cream meant fu-”

“OKAY!” Sangyeon exclaimed loudly before Eric could finish that sentence, causing a fit of snickers from the others watching, as well as your furious blush spreading as you hid behind the palm of your hand. “Let’s not finish that, Youngjae-ah.”

Eric sucked in his lips with a mischievous glint, shoulders shaking in muted laughter.

Just as everyone finished cleaning up and you put your outer layers back on - Kevin sidled up to you casually, slinging a friendly arm around your shoulders as you walked out of the building and down the street.

You both watched Sunwoo take a running start before jumping on Eric’s unsuspecting back as they both stumbled with the maknae’s dramatic complaint of his sore legs echoing.

“You should probably cross out working out together.” Kevin had a shit-eating grin on his face. “You know, for public decency.”

“Oh shut up.”

Thank you for reading!

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from-izzy · 4 months

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double a decade | tbz kim sunwoo

Double a decade—no, more than that.

PAIRING » tbz kim sunwoo x gn!reader (proofread twice! lmk if i missed anything!) TROPE/AU » childhood friends to lovers, non-idol au!, holiday season au! (starts a little bit from christmas up to new years!) GENRE » it's so fluffy like wow...i'm not going to write something so fluff for sunwoo for a while after this, a tinge of angst, SUNWOO AND READER ARE BOTH IDIOTS, sunwoo thought his love was one-sided, very shy kim sunwoo, sunwoo being very cute and patient to the reader, reader is sick and sunwoo takes care of them uwu, they platonically share the same bed, big spoon sunwoo who is physically bigger than you and holds you to sleep, MUTUAL PINING REEEEEE, a ton of hugs from kim sunwoo because he's so...ugh, reader blushing cause of kim sunwoo, sunwoo giving his jackets that're oversized for you to use (ahhhh) WORD COUNT » 5760 ESTIMATED READING TIME » ~21 mins WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!) » reader is sick with a fever (if you're actually sick, please isolate yourself!), kim sunwoo being a shy idiot, one swear word (but cuts through halfway)

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

my last story for 2023! looking forward to the new year! happy 2024 everyone!

thank you for reading and screaming with me @winterchimez, @heemingyu and @mosviqu !! you three were so chaotic 😭 like ally really whipped out my government name, i couldn't tell whether sana was mad at me or sunwoo, and bar was...yeah...uhm...yeah!

(i suffered so much with the banner, i need to stop looking at it now)

Even you found this situation absurd.

How could something so beautiful cause you to have tissues and wet towels lying around your heating body? It’s bittersweet to know that the things that made you enwrap in the layer of heated and weighted blankets are the same ones every year that fall nicely from the hues of orange and red sky. Maybe it’s the headache or the jealousy as you hear the excited shrills of the children outside the window having fun and throwing the cold ball of death to each other’s faces. It’s probably also the fact that you’re at the time of your month, the cramps around the underside of your stomach in addition to the scratchy itch on your throat that makes swallowing hard.

In the end, this year’s Christmas has been wasted and you could only cry under the sheets alone, convincing your parents not to enter as you knew they had to return to work as soon as the holidays ended. You truly regretted your past naive and idiotic self for making a snow angel without proper winter battle clothes. The effect took a massive toll on your body, especially with the amount of hours you have been working and the stress of it all. The way you spent Christmas was lonely as you looked down to the ground floor where your family gathered, a warm blanket slouched on your messy, unwashed hair. The distance between your pout and their smiles wasn’t too far but because of your dying voice and their charged voice, even your mother could barely hear your Christmas greetings.

But, there was someone in your life who still barged into your highly contaminated room with his raccoon loverboy beanie and matching handmade raccoon scarf that you gifted for him this Christmas. Even with your refutes and arguments, he just shrugs, refusing to let you spend the holiday season time alone.

Every year has always been the same at this time of the year. From when the clock strikes midnight when the jingle bells ring from the city hall up to your room, up until around noon, you would spend it with your family. From noon, when you and your best friend would be amazed at how the snowman still kept its shape up until around dinner time, you would be all over the neighbourhood with him. Then cues the opening of gifts underneath the green tree with ornaments from your grandparents’ age, the smile plasters on everyone’s faces as choruses of ‘thank you’s would be said. Three hours before Christmas day passes, you would retreat to your room, only to have a visitor open your door, the pile of snow between the strands of his hair making the wood of your floor a tripping hazard.

Every year has always been the same for you both and Kim Sunwoo is determined to make sure that it would still be that way. The boy has always made every single Christmas memorable from the day you both were in diapers to now. He made sure that Christmas this year isn’t wasted and he proves that solidly.

Now, another day of fighting begins as you pray for your fever to die down in time for the approaching new year. Contrary to your wishes, your whole body feels like it’s been shut down, feeling too effortful to even raise a finger despite it lying on your bed for the last twenty hours.

“Sunwoo…” The tears well up in your eyes, wishing that you could at least pick up the phone to hear his stories about the day.

“I got you!”

The door clicks open to reveal his toothy, mischievous smile. In one hand, a filled fabric bag is held as the other fist punches the sky eagerly. If you could, you would’ve chucked all the layers of fabric to the ground for all you care, clinging onto the boy like a koala. He understands the thoughts roaming in your head as soon as he sees the way the ceiling light highlights the sweat on your forehead and the moisture around the bottom of your eyes.

The once-upturned corners of his mouth dipped and so did his shoulders. With his free hand, the door closed quietly. He slowly approaches you, kneeling on the floor beside your bed. Sunwoo takes his mittens off, tilting his head and his furrowed eyebrows match his solemn smile.

“The new year is literally in three days and I’m still here all wrapped up like a mummy.” He unfolded one of the new towels on your bedside table, dapping the sweat away from your flushed face. “I hate this…”

Sunwoo couldn’t hide his true feelings either, missing having you healthy by his side for more than a whole week now. The night walks were now leaning more toward miserable than lonely. He misses the way you would wrap your nearest arm with his, the other hand loosely anchoring on as well as you both comment on whatever comes into your mind. It’s during those times that you would be so preoccupied with your words that the world around him becomes silent, looking down at the slope of your nose and the shape of your moving lips dearly.

If you look up towards him, you can see the way that Sunwoo’s eyes relax and the corners of his lips lift just slightly, looking at you with utmost adore and affection. His cheeks would be red, not because of the chilly wind, but because his heart is telling him to just hold you close, confess and kiss you deeply into the night.

It’s no exaggeration to say that the fluttering feeling in his heart, gave his body more warmth than the mittens, beanie, scarf and winter outfit.

“It’ll pass soon, don’t worry,” Sunwoo reassures you, straightening his legs and heading to your bathroom. There, he shrieks and the laugh from the joined room, where you lay in bed with a new cold wet towel on your burning forehead tells him that you did it on purpose. “I thought that was real!” His head peaks out slightly from the bathroom door with the toy cockroach in his hand, throwing it on the duvet where it conveniently plops upside down.

“I need some laughs, okay?” It only earned an eye roll from Sunwoo, who closed the bathroom door.

Your eyes widen at the familiar actions, the sprinkling of water confirming your thoughts.

“Sunwoo!” You scold him. “You can’t stay over! I’m literally sick!”

“I’ll be fine!”

These are the only words that he says, ignoring the rest of your complaints and nagging; he knows though, that it’s just because you care for his health and wellbeing.

Your lips could only form a big mountain when Sunwoo finally does exit your now sauna-like bathroom. He had his favourite raccoon onesie on, his used clothes in one hand and was supported with his chest to avoid it from toppling over his hold. A toothbrush is leisurely in his mouth, the frothing around the inside of his lips tells you that he has no second thoughts about staying over.

“You can’t, Woo.” An exasperated sigh comes out as soon as he slips into the room. “Why don’t you ever listen to what I say?”

The toothbrush stops its rustling sound against his healthy, white teeth and you can tell from the way his hands land on the side of his waist that he has a complaint back about you.

“As if you’ll ever listen to me.” And the rustling continues with a tune of a song.

“Touche.”

There is one thing that changed from your usual sleepovers but again, you’re not complaining as it is the best choice. Sunwoo takes out the spare roll-up mattress after excitedly knocking on your parent’s room for help. You could hear how your parents are beyond surprised by the visit but you could only smile when you hear the way they scold Sunwoo for wanting to stay beside you with your condition.

For some odd reason, he was still able to walk back into your room, showing off the white fabric on his shoulder that he held, shoulder way too high for your liking as his pride replaces the gloomy atmosphere in the room.

“Make some sort of distance between you and my bed please.”

Your tone is no longer playful, almost tired and most definitely worried. Sunwoo nods, his lips pulling into a line. At this moment, when Sunwoo sets up his bed for the night away from you, you don’t realise the clench in your heart, your hand swishing over the space beside you where he would usually cuddle with you to sleep.

“This alright?” Pulling off his sparkly doe eyes, shooting you a smile that you couldn’t possibly refute. “Alright! Goodnight!” He cheers when you nod defeatedly.

With a flick of the switch, the only thing that allows you to see your covered feet is the moonlight from outside. Sunwoo is in a better position because the lower level means that your bed blocks the shine enough for him to slumber back to sleep.

For some reason, you couldn’t. Your body is still, your eyelids shut and your calm breathing would’ve fooled anyone that you were actually in dreamland. In reality, all you could hear was Sunwoo’s more soothing snores, the sudden feeling that nothing was covering you and the uncomfortable feeling of staying awake.

Your eyelids shoot open once more, staring at the lines and scratches that managed to make it there. Maybe it was a chaotic cat? Or a really strong spiky fly? Or maybe, a ghost? Continuing a questionable amount of ideas. You didn’t even realise when your body turned to the side where Sunwoo was. Without thinking much, your arm reaches for the expensive headpiece straight to the once-slumbering boy.

Disturbed between reality and dreams, his body immediately straightens up, turning his head at you. “Hey!”

“Sorry.” You did feel guilty, not knowing that your impulse actions would jolt him so much; but your laugh tells him that once again, you did plan it with some sort of naughty reason.

Like the antagonist of a scary movie, Sunwoo’s head dips down slightly, his bangs covering his eyes and his cheek rising with menacing thoughts in his head. Suddenly, he jumps over to the mattress, wiggling his fingers all over your body.

“S-Stop! Sunwoo!” He didn’t bother doing so, his heart delighted at the sound of your laughter after so long. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, you pathetic raccoon!”

“Oh, you’re really asking for it!”

It’s a miracle that none of your parents didn’t woke up after almost five minutes of different volumes of laughter. After a week or so of copping up in your room, unable to properly see your best friend, he makes his mark on the winter holiday, knowing that every time you fall sick with a fever, you’ll recall this fun memory.

“Can’t sleep?”

He retreats to the edge of the bed, his legs dangling. Yet, he has his full focus on the way your smile gradually falls into a frown. His hands move under the blanket, finding yours. As soon as he feels you, his fingers intertwine with yours. Automatically, your thumb caresses Sunwoo’s, calming enough for him to sleep. Eyelids heavy but not completely down yet, your brown orbs observe the way Sunwoo kneels beside you.

“Sunwoo…”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for staying.”

His eyes widen slightly but he then lets out a small chuckle. “Just doing your lovely parents a favour.”

“No.” He gulps at your seriousness, watching the way that even though your back is facing the natural light source, the growing waters underneath your eyelids make his other hand reach out for you, the movement shaking your tears down. “I meant in life. Thank you for staying with me another year.”

Your eyelashes fluttered, the darkness quietly enveloping you. Sunwoo just lets out a soft sigh, your words making his heart beat too rapidly for him to sleep tonight.

“I love you.”

There…

He rehearsed the confession in the mirror many times, different scenarios each time, a different object in his hand every time as he imagined the perfect gift that he would give if he was ever given a chance to pour his feelings into you. A part of him wishes you heard it, hoping that you didn’t keep this friendship going.

The mattress that he worked hard to retrieve from your parents is left untouched for the rest of the night. Forget about his well-being for a second, prioritising the love in his heart. Forget about being sick if it meant being able to hold you in his arms just like all those times. Forget about your scoldings that he would only stick his tongue out nonchalantly to. Sunwoo climbs on the opposite side, his usual spot in your bed. He carefully slips his body inside, the air a thousand times warmer, almost making him wince at the sudden temperature rise that he didn’t expect.

For one last time in the night, he wipes your forehead clean, pressing a lingering kiss on the area. Your body recognises the dip of the bed, turning to the other side and hiding your eyes from the glare of the night into Sunwoo’s beating chest. Perplexed but still somewhat composed, he lets you get comfortable first, both of your hands reaching up to the fabric of his collar, tugging it slightly as a satisfied smile makes its way onto your relaxed face.

“I love you.”

He says once more.

“I love you so much, bubs.”

A little bit louder.

“I love you so much but,” He rests his head on the pillow, pulling you further into his embrace with his hand curling over the shape of your head. “I don’t think I can stay beside you next year.”

Unrequited love his whole life.

The trade-off between friendship and love is too much for him to fully digest.

But as the years pass, Sunwoo knows that there is nothing much he can do but drown in his uncertainties. At the same time, he’s no longer sure how much longer he could fake another smile towards you whenever you were taken out for dates. He’s no longer sure how to keep his heartbeat at bay whenever you accidentally whip your hair across his face whenever he scared you, and the way your first instinct is to squish his cheeks, frown and check up for any hurt on his beautiful face. He’s no longer sure if he could hide the urge to pull you into his chest whenever your fingers would lace together even during the hot summer days.

So Sunwoo made it clear to himself that tonight would be the last time he would bask in your presence. Another unsure kiss is given to your forehead and against the screamings inside his head, he follows his heart to press one on each of your closed lids, whispering loving words that he desperately wishes you would hear.

“I’m thankful for you too.”

True to his words, Sunwoo is gone by the early morning, the white blob on the floor is gone and so are the used towels that you have used throughout the previous day. Judging from the coolness of the sheets beside you, he must’ve left some time ago and it left a bitter feeling in your whole being when he left no note that would usually snap the drowsiness in you to an immediate deadpan reaction, or contrary a dog video that would make up want to curl up and stay in bed for longer.

Three distinct knocks on the door tell you that your mum has breakfast ready but you can’t respond as enthusiastically as you usually would.

“You’re looking better today, actually.” The plastic tray rests on the corner of your table. The now-occupied space reminds you of last night when Sunwoo used the same space for his worn-out backpack. Satisfied with the way your forehead is no longer burning and almost back to normal temperature, the woman nods and lets out a sigh of relief. “Must be the Sunwoo effect.”

It did make you forget your confusion for a second, the corners of your slumped lips pulling to a straight line. When you were once again left all alone in the room, the loneliness was unlike ever before. The charging cable is ripped away from your device, opening the messaging app to text Sunwoo a very formal, very awkward morning greeting. Your eyes bore into the bottom left of the screen, seeing if the familiar typing icon would pop out but after around four minutes of empty wishes, the way you shoved your phone under the pillow shows how crestfallen you are with his isolating behaviour. It continued for the rest of the day, your phone never buzzing because of him even though his social media activity shows him posting a new memory to share over the internet.

New Year is around a few hours and to you, it looks like Sunwoo has no plans to change his indifference towards you. Even when Eric says he would make sure that Sunwoo sends a message to you, the only thing that changed in your messaging status with him is the ‘delivered’ to ‘seen’ sign.

“The audacity of this little piece of sh—”

Your fingers tapped rapidly first, and the floating tiles of your keyboard pour your conflicted emotions with a dash of empty threats to him. It’s infuriating that the only thing he did was still, left you on ‘seen’ but this time, in real-time.

“Okay, fine!”

Why are you so defeated? Frustrated? Annoyed? Irritated? Worried? Sour? Confused? Are you really going to spend the rest of the year without him? Start the new one without him? Is he really breaking the streak of watching the fireworks together and being each other’s first ‘Happy New Year!’s with a bunch of jumping and squealing?

Is he mad because you’re the reason why you can’t watch the flowers in the sky with him this year? But Sunwoo knows that you’ve been sick! But if he is, is he so mad to the point that he's going to break the streak of being each other’s first ‘Happy New Year!’s next year because of it? But between you both, you’ve always beaten him by a split second!

“Fine! Be that way then!” If the framed picture of you both had noise sensitivity, you’re sure that it would’ve cowered away and fallen straight to the bin next to it. “Ignore me then! Go have fun with the rest of your friends! Why’d you come here and act like you cared when you were just going to avoid me like this?!”

As if the whole universe isn’t seemingly against you already, the bunny doll that Sunwoo won for you smiled sweetly from the corner of your room. The rubber material of your slippers makes high-pitched slaps and your arms snatch the poor plush by its neck, shaking it back and forth as you start to let out all the cursing in all the languages that you know to the boy in your head.

“You got it!”

You couldn’t hide the excitement on your face as soon as the claw hovers in the hole of the machine, a few seconds away from delivering the prize to your hands. Sunwoo rejoices and is proud after winning against the rigged game with only the first try.

You try to wait patiently for Sunwoo to give it to you, but the way that your upper body bounces, and the way your slightly wavy hair goes along with the motions of your body, only makes it harder for Sunwoo to properly hand you over the gift. You weren’t doing anything special but he was so in love with you that he couldn’t help but let out a shaky breath at the way your eyes sparkle to him—it didn’t help his case that you were cutely drowning in his jacket.

“D-Do you love it that much?”

Would it be weird if he snapped a photo of you right now? When your cheeks are smushed against the bunny’s fluffy ones? Would it be weird if he wanted to set it as his wallpaper and just stare at it all day long?

“It’s so cute!”

You indirectly answered, putting your full attention and affection to the animal in your hands. The way you bopped your nose with its own only fuels his adoration for you and because you’re so immersed in your birthday gift, Sunwoo did manage to get the picture that he desires.

Kim Sunwoo also had it as his lock screen, hiding it within a collage of other memories—it’s the reason why he’s been so protective over his phone for the last few months.

Having had enough of giving the inanimate animal a headache, you threw it onto the floor with a huff, blowing the loose strand of hair away from your vision. All of a sudden, the tears finally well up in your eyes and you let out silent croaked sobs. The hunched-over plushie is the catalyst for your head to replay the memories in your head. With your back against your bed, knees folded to your chest and the bunny sitting on top, the outside world blurs out of existence for a while.

Everything is just Kim Sunwoo.

From the way he smiles.

To the way he drools in his sleep.

From the way he would literally hide you from the outside world, arms enveloping and muffling your cries.

To the way he welcomes the series of punches on his chest because life is too much for you sometimes.

From the way he has your mum on speed dial in case he can’t reach you.

To the way that he would hop into the car to pick you up from your solo late-night, early-morning beach walks still in his pyjamas.

From the way he knew how to comfort you depending on the situation.

To the way he wouldn’t mind submitting his assignment late if it meant that you’ll be able to sleep peacefully.

Your face flares up, recalling the light pressure of his lips on your eyelids the other night and with it, the meaning behind your tight hold on the bunny becomes something entirely different. That’s all it takes for you to rush out the front door, your mum following your rushed actions with her eyes.

“Well,” she shrugs, eyes back to the television of her favourite Christmas movie, “that happened.”

So maybe you should’ve changed to snowing boots or something more appropriate than your slippers but in your body’s adrenaline to keep your body intact for another five minutes when you would reach Sunwoo’s house.

“You’re so—ugh!”

The crystals falling from the sky are too uncomfortable and you know that you will be bedridden for longer after this but that’s not going to be your fault. Someone else will take the blame for this and you’ll make it clear for him.

It’s only when you reach the front door, hands on your bent knees, throat dry, nose red, cheeks most probably iced due to your tears and the weather that the words all evaporate from your head. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore and with the curtain from the living room open just enough for you to see Sunwoo snuggling in the couch with his cup of hot chocolate, the feelings that you have been hiding from him amplified greatly.

You’re so mad at him but you still think he looks cute with the blanket over his head, covering his shoulders and eyes focused so much to the point the colours of the graphics were being reflected on his eyes. Changing the direction from kicking down the front door, you decided to instead gather a lump of ice into your palm, striking it against the window where his face was.

His body jolts back but it didn’t take long for his mind to register the white remnants crumbling on the glass, window frame and sill. It takes Sunwoo less than a second to take in your shivering figure on the other side of the window and he knows he’s going to get an earful from his mum when she sees the sweet and sticky drink on her carpet.

The coat hanger rattles and almost breaks an arm with how violently Sunwoo takes two of his warmest jackets, swiftly getting ready to meet the cold and starting blizzard outside. He automatically winced when nature slammed the door open, almost stubbing his toe—but maybe that’s his karma for leaving you on read for more than a whole day without a proper explanation.

Sunwoo took his focus away from the throbbing pain, skipping down the stairs, using the spiky handrail for support as he pushed his body up whenever he went down a step lower, relaxing when his feet landed on the ground safely. It’s only been a few minutes since he stepped out of his blanket but now everything is throbbing—his heart as well for a different reason.

Seeing you still facing the window, your hair flying all over the place, your chin basically on your chest, Sunwoo realises that he hurt you badly. Maybe he should’ve just been honest. If so, then at the very least, you wouldn’t chase him out like this when it looks like you just started to feel better.

“Hey…” his feet make cautious little shuffles, scrunching the remaining mixes of nature and ice, kind of scared for his life that you would start to (rightfully) punch him. Thankfully, he got close enough to drape his jacket onto your shoulder, zipping up the front without asking you to put your arms. If it wasn’t for the fact that he ignored you, he would be teasing and asking you about what you are mulling over. “Let’s go inside, hm?”

Sunwoo sighs at your stubbornness when you shoved his arm away, feet planted on the ground.

“Go away.”

His heart clenches at the way you probably meant that. It included a hint of hurt, broken the unanswered questions that were swarming your head.

“I’m sorry,” Sunwoo said so softly that you could’ve missed it if it wasn’t the way you were already actively focusing on him. “So please, let’s just get you inside. It’s my fault, I’m sorry.”

His palm goes over where his heart is and the other hand gives you a reassuring press. Sunwoo knew by the way you refused to look at him despite him bending over to meet your eyes, that this was going to be tough for you to listen to him.

But Kim Sunwoo is patient.

He’s always been patient and understanding when it comes to you. When his hands reach over to envelop yours, you don’t push away how he wraps his own between yours. Your heartbeat picks up its pace when he leads your joined hands into the pocket of his jacket, his thumb gliding over your skin. The act also sends your body closer to his, finally closing the gap between your bodies, sharing body warmth corresponding to the red hues on your cheeks.

Your lips now hover over his outwear and your nose takes his scent in, enjoying breathing in the familiarity after almost two days of no contact. Sunwoo bites his lips, nervous about having you in front of him and the way you tighten your hold on his hands tells him that you have a lot to say.

“You don’t want to spend the first week of the new year bedridden, bubs.” Wordlessly and timidly, Sunwoo just scans over your facial features, his eyes roaming about while your eyes are stuck on his zipper which is halfway done.

“Don’t call me that…” Because it clicks open the surge of feelings that you have been trying to hide from him for the longest time. “Don’t…”

You were still half awake when he said his words.

Unknowingly to Sunwoo, you heard every single word that you have always wanted to say to him. That night, when his hand wrapped securely around your waist, you had the best sleep in your life, taking a mental note to talk about the topic later on.

Only to realise that you are both idiots with your feelings.

“I’m sor—”

“Stop apologising!”

And it sends Sunwoo into a puddle of shock and confusion when your eyes send out a waterfall. He separates his hands from yours and they fly quickly to hold your cheeks. Stutters of more apologies string out and his thumbs weren’t fast enough to keep your face dry.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry too!”

“Hey, what are you sorry about? I’m the one who left you on read!”

“I’m sorry that I’ve never told you how much I appreciate you,” you hiccup before continuing, seeing a glimpse of Sunwoo’s gaping mouth, “I’m sorry that you’ve always been the one taking care of me and not the other way around,” and you see the way he shakes his head with furrowed eyebrows, “I’m sorry that I ever make you think that I don’t care about you!”

“Hey, no. Don’t say that, I know you care abo—”

“I love you, Kim Sunwoo!”

To him, even though Christmas has passed, he’s convinced that it’s a miracle for him. The night when he left to stay in your house, he innocently wished upon the shooting star, closing his eyes and hoping for your health and happiness—but he couldn’t help but also wish that you would love him back even though that’s out of his control.

But what can he do when he’s only loved one person and one person throughout his whole life?

“I’m sorry if I ever made you think that I like someone else because I can tell you now that all those dates I went to only made me sure that I’m so in love with you and you make me feel like I can just be myself when I’m around you and I also feel jittery when I’m around you and—”

This is not the type of confession that he has rehearsed for.

He guides your face into his chest, still sobbing and crying. As always, your hands weakly hit him, your lips still voicing out muffled confessions to him. Sunwoo’s arms wrap around your shoulders, the other on top of it. His head dips, his lips breathing out air near your ear, resting his forehead on his arm for stability. He wants to say something, anything to make sure that his avoidance doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you back but all he wants to do is to just hold you closer to make it clear that no one could take you out on another date.

Only he can take you out on dates now.

You sniffle, catching your breath after letting your feelings out. The hold around you makes you melt, smiling before turning to where Sunwoo is. At your longing stare, his head shoots back up in surprise, tripping over his own words at how you look at him with beady, watery eyes in adoration. Shy Sunwoo is going to be a sight that you’ll get used to quickly, noting how adorable he is with how his eyes refuse to meet yours and his lips moving without any sound actually coming through.

“I love you.”

You repeated quieter just for him so that he was the only one who could hear the words.

“I love you so much.”

You stood on your toes, planting a kiss on his chin.

“I love you so much but,” Sunwoo gulps with how you squinted your eyes, “if you leave my side next year, I won’t hesitate to throw a snowball to your face.”

“Oh God, please don’t do that.” Mortified and shaking his head, “I’m sorry, you win. I’ll do anything, just please have mercy on me.”

“Anything?”

Sunwoo gives a series of firm, convincing nods.

“Kiss me.”

The words took a while to register in his mind and he couldn’t help the breath hitching when he realised your request. Sunwoo almost stumbled backwards, your hands tug the fabric of his pockets, pulling him back to you and reality. It caused your foreheads to lightly bump and the impact made you wince at his stupidity.

“I-I’m sorry! I-I’m—”

“Kim Sunwoo! There’s going to be a mark there! That hur—”

A pair of comforting hands hold your jawline, tilting your face to accommodate the height difference between the two once-best friends. When Sunwoo gets a better grip on himself, he quickly dives in when your lips part, swallowing your complaints and making his dreams come true.

Double a decade—no, more than that.

That’s how much he’s waited for this moment with you.

When his lips would slot against yours, hugging your top ones with his before pulling away to give the same amount of affection to your bottom ones. Your noses bump into each other slightly, making the moment seem real and fun, smiling and giggling when you both part for air. Shy and kind of embarrassed with how messy and uncoordinated it is but you both know you wouldn’t want to share each other’s firsts with anyone else.

At this moment, it’s you and him in this world.

That’s how you ended the year. Clenched fist still inside his pockets, though that didn’t stop you from folding the fabric back so that you could have your arms wrapped around his middle to pull him closer. The sky soon blooms shortly after, and the happy firing noises illuminate the night sky, beating the dull light and colour of the moon that everyone sees every day. Because of the dynamic colours, Sunwoo is able to see the shades of the celebration mirrored on your skin, finding you more beautiful than ever before.

Though beautiful, the fireworks did make Sunwoo roll his eyes when he seemingly needed to repeat variations of “Be my girlfriend!” even though you were less than ten centimetres away from his face. He knows after your third “What? I can’t hear you” that you were playing with him, giving you pecks of his lips across your face playfully, enjoying how your laughs neutralised the flowers in the sky.

You ended the year with the start of a kiss with your best friend.

And start the new year with a new title for your ex-best friend.

With Kim Sunwoo, of course.

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿

233 notes · View notes

biaswreckingfics · 1 year

Note

sunwoo and reader as idols, best friends to lovers kinda trope !! or like,,, them as lovers = private but not secret OWJDOWJFO

I hope this is kind of what you were looking for!! 🥺🥺

Sunwoo + Established F2L relationship

When Sunwoo gives you the all-clear to come into their waiting room, you quickly head over. There's about an hour before you have to take the stage, and Sunwoo just got done with his performance, which means the two of you can spend a little quality time together.

You lightly knock on his door and slip into the room when you hear him tell you to come in. He smiles when he looks at you and you can see his whole body sort of relax. You feel it yourself. The relief and happiness you feel when you see the person you love.

Without a word, the two of you slip into each other's embrace. You melt into his hold while he buries his face in your hair. You stay like that for a minute or so before you decide it's time to move to the couch and cuddle for a little bit. It's nice and relaxing, and it helps you find peace before your performance.

About five minutes pass when the door to the room flies open and Eric comes sailing by. He throws out some "hi's" while he rummages through his bag. Then, he's moving back toward the door like a tornado. It's only when he's about to step through that he pauses and looks back.

"You know, we never really get to see this side of you two… It's nice. You look good together."

Before either of you can respond, he's taking off again. A smile finds its way onto your face at his compliment and you look over at Sunwoo. He grins at you in response and lightly boops your nose.

"I told you they wouldn't mind us flaunting our relationship."

You lightly chuckle. "Give them a few days. We won't be so cute to them then."

153 notes · View notes

wuahae · 1 year

Text

gravity (is the distance between you and me)

kim sunwoo x gn!reader

you tell yourself that this is for the best, that you’re only doing what needs to be done. even if it hurts now, even if it never stops hurting, maybe this is truth you’ve been running from this whole time. maybe this is just acceptance. — or: you break up with sunwoo because you love him, because you refuse to let him fall back down to earth with you; everything that follows after is an inescapable gravity.

idolverse!sunwoo x non-celeb!reader, exes!au, mostly reader-centric // 13.6k // angst with a teeny bit of fluff in between // told in alternating past and present timeskips, vaguely canon timeline but don’t look too close // 🪐fic playlist (for full experience)

if you enjoyed the fic, please leave feedback!

prologue. (love is…)

it occurs to you on a sunday night, the second-hand of the clock only a few ticks away from midnight, that this was never meant to be.

you try to not hear echoes of sunwoo’s voice in your head, admonishments scolding you gently to go to sleep, but it plays in your head regardless. truthfully, it had always sat on the edge of nagging, but you supposed that when it was him, it ended up more endearing than anything else: the pout in his lips, the scrunch in his brow, the worry in his eyes as he'd brush a strand of loose hair out of your face.

there was always something else in his gaze, something you could never quite pinpoint—like he saw something you couldn't, like his gaze had stripped you bare of everything you'd put up to protect yourself. you try not to chase the rabbit's trail thinking about it, shoving the ghost of the memory beneath a quick, heated blink of the eyes.

it doesn't matter anymore. you've lost the chance to figure out what it had meant.

you almost laugh at the reminder; it seems you haven’t changed, even now. greed had always been your deadliest sin, despite everything. you want, and want, and want.

you want what you can’t have, you tell yourself, but you stop at the thought. that's not it.

pause, rewind, play.

because the truth of the matter is, you just want what you don't deserve. you don’t deserve this—the sun-soaked kitchens, the teasing glances, the rhythmic sway in each others' arms as you wait for the rice cooker to beep, your timer set for the oven to ring, the world to finish turning from gold to dark blue to midnight. it's softness that makes your lungs collapse in on themselves, tenderness that burns your skin from even the gentlest brush.

you've been selfish for long enough, you think, indulging in pleasures that should have never been yours. and no matter how tightly you want to continue clinging onto sunwoo's sweet words and empty promises, the little voice in your head drowns it all out in the end.

it's not supposed to be painless; it's rational, practical, inevitable, but so is snipping off the dead leaves off your plant after they've died, tying a tourniquet to a limb before cutting it off to prevent the infection from spreading.

(it's for his own good. you should have done this a long time ago.)

so you pick up your phone, send a single text message to sunwoo, and wait; your knuckles turn white with the knife in your hands, like the first press of the blade to your skin. tie the knot tight, grit your teeth, you can never go back to what once was.

it's 12:03AM when your phone lights up again, eyes burning in the brightness. you can only watch as you bleed.

after. (love is sacrifice.)

chanhee calls you monday, the morning after.

it’s not so much that you weren’t expecting it, moreso that you were hoping that you’d be proven wrong, that maybe chanhee could have let it go, let it all play out without any extra fuss, but thinking back on it now, you suppose the mere thought of that was already a hopeless endeavor. phone vibrating on the counter, the caller id blares ‘choi chanhee’ in big white letters, predictably incessant.

you can practically feel the pensiveness in the buzzing. the bated breath, the knit brows, his finger tapping on the table as chanhee waits for your voice to replace the dialing tone over the speaker. you have half a mind to just let it ring.

after all, what more could he really say? it was all over and done with, and he’d just be wasting his breath trying to convince you otherwise. but still, your phone continues to ring, and despite your better judgment, your finger slides to accept.

(if you were going to start it, you might as well go until the very end of the aftermath.)

“hello?”

chanhee lets out a sharp breath, his voice falling to a hush. “are you serious?”

not even a ‘hello’ back, you lament silently. your bottom lip catches between your teeth, nail picking at the loose skin on your thumb as you try to form a reply on your tongue. “about what?”

he calls out your name in response, exasperated. you can practically see the wrinkles knit tight in his forehead, each word stressed more than the last as he continues to scold you. “don’t play dumb with me,” chanhee retorts. “did you seriously break up with sunwoo?”

ah. straight to the point, as expected. you shift your gaze to the clock on the wall, focusing on the rhythmic ticking as it works its way through a new hour. your breathing slows to match, heart steeling, your voice thinning out into something you know you can control. “he told you?”

he scoffs, harsh breath crackling over the speaker. “he didn’t need to. he’s locked himself in his room since last night and won’t talk to anyone else. it isn’t hard to figure out when you were the last person he called.”

the influx of questions almost come pouring out before you bite your tongue—doesn’t he have schedules today? do you know if he slept last night? did he even eat at all since then— “oh,” you manage to breathe out.

“what are you doing?” he asks plainly. it’s a simple question, and it’s one you don’t know how to answer.

“i…” you chew your bottom lip, eyes picking out a small scuff on the side of your coffee table. funny, you don’t remember it being there before you had moved. “i’m not sure what you mean.”

“don’t do that, you know exactly what i mean,” chanhee counters back. “why did you break up with him? and don’t give me some bullshit excuse, because we’d both know you’d be lying.”

the clock continues to tick on the wall, and you drag your eyes over to it once more, its needle in a constant state of motion. three minutes. you could unravel the truth to chanhee in three minutes, at least the parts that really matter. choi chanhee is many things—nosy, opinionated, a gossip, but he isn’t tactless. no matter who he ends up spilling his complaints to about you and sunwoo and this entire situation, you know not a single word from his lips will ever reach sunwoo’s ears. no matter how close you and chanhee are, you would have ended the call then and there if you weren’t certain of it.

“it’s for the best,” you say softly, and it sounds so simple when you put it like that. like the nights toiling over sending that final text were all for nothing because this was just how it was meant to be, like you were just fighting the inevitable.

“you can’t actually believe that.”

something in your chest sparks, a flicker of a flame that lends itself to “we both know—” before you cut yourself off, catching the growing volume and thickness in your voice before chanhee can pick it out and lay it bare. “we both know it was never going to work out like how we wanted.”

you tense, waiting for chanhee’s incoming rebuke, but he goes quiet for a few moments before trying to speak again, slowly and carefully. “what happened?”

“nothing happened,” you stress, shaking your head, and you smear over the memory that flashes by, the hurt and loneliness that fades into nothing more than streaks of color and silence. “i just did what i should have done a long time ago.”

“you—”

“i have to go, chanhee.” choke it back. hold it in. “take care of him, okay?”

chanhee makes a noise of protest, but you hang up before he gets the chance to say anything more. you try not to look at the clock on the wall again—you already know those three minutes had passed a long time ago.

(heat surges to the bridge of your nose, pressure builds at the back of your eyes. those three minutes had passed, so it was okay now, right? it was okay to let go?)

on monday morning, six minutes past ten, you sit tourniquet-tied in a pool of dried blood of your own making, and you cry.

before. (love is youth—)

it all starts out as whispers at first.

rumors of a new transfer student spread quickly through the halls, jokes about new competition within the school said just as easily and nonchalantly as discussing the new main course added onto the lunch menu, or the latest news about which celebrity they think would make it onto dispatch headlines within the next year. it’s routine, at this point, their gossip becoming just another common occurrence during the school year. all of it is just too familiar, too predictable, your classmates’ voices droning on in your head as their gossip goes through one ear and out the other.

the new kid gets introduced during homeroom first period, and the whispers grow to a murmur. the clacking of the drumsticks from a couple kids in the back of the class stop, and the boys playing guitar in the corner of the room go silent, eyes bright and watching.

he introduces himself as kim sunwoo, an applied music major, and you wonder if he’s just another kid wanting to fulfill their idol dream—a trainee? a trainee-wannabe? there certainly weren’t a lack of those in the applied music department, and at a school like hanlim, most transfer students ended up being one of the two. repressing a sigh, you bury your head inside the crook of your arm, slumping against your desk. as if there weren’t enough empty desks scattered around the classroom belonging to students skating by their classes in favor of trainee and idol life.

you’ve heard too many whispering aspirations from other trainees about gaining fame and popularity, thousands of adoring fans loving them through their music, but you know it never really is about the music—it’s always just a means to an end, not that you could really fault them for it. everyone was working hard in different ways for their dreams, but after months of being paired with and surrounded by people who were barely around and hard to reach with a noticeable lack of passion for the same music you came to hanlim for, you’ve grown a little tired of it all.

even the class president, park jihoon, couldn’t be excluded from that nasty habit. with more absences than attendances on his record, you had to wonder if all that struggle as a trainee at such a major entertainment company was worth it. but still, at least he tried his best at his job whenever he was here: leading the class, keeping everyone under control whenever they inevitably got frisky, and—(your eyes catch him walking over to the sunwoo’s desk and introducing himself)—making small talk with the new kids.

“where are you from?” jihoon asks, head tilted curiously. “seoul?”

sunwoo nods, and from the bits of conversation you overhear from a few desks away, it’s just as you guessed. the transfer to hanlim was only to get him one step closer to becoming an idol. you can see it all so clearly, another empty desk, another dream of wanting fame.

“are you in a company, then?”

“no, i…” sunwoo rubs the back of his neck, shaking his head half in a stupor. you can practically hear his thoughts in his poorly-veiled expression, the culture shock of the applied music department in a school like hanlim striking him swiftly. “not yet, i’m looking for one now.”

“ah, i see,” jihoon nods faintly, a spitting image of a cool class representative, and you stifle a snort beneath a hidden smile. as if jihoon didn’t only just get accepted into yg entertainment two months ago. he’s lame as always.

the boy sitting behind sunwoo chirps in after, asking him questions and starting up conversation along with another kid in their column. chin rested on your hand, you turn your head towards the window again, tuning out your classmates in favor of watching the clouds outside drift slowly along with the wind.

(he was planning on being a trainee, after all; there wasn’t really a point in becoming invested in someone you knew you were never going to see much of again.)

except, a couple of weeks later, your teacher announces a month-long songwriting project, and sunwoo’s name gets called out next to yours as random pairs are chosen as partners. he meets your eyes from across the room, giving you a small nod of acknowledgement, and you try not to let the apprehension show on your face when you give him a polite smile in response.

you don’t even know if he knew how to write lyrics.

“so we’re writing lyrics given our assigned theme, right?” sunwoo asks after class, chair pulled up to your desk as you brainstorm for ideas.

you nod, peering over at his sheet cautiously. “do you have any ideas on how to start?”

“well,” sunwoo starts, lips pursed as he taps his pencil on his paper. “the theme is ‘love,’ right? so we could do anything about that, but…”

“it’s too broad of a topic,” you finish, frowning.

“yeah,” his eyes flicker to yours, mouth gaping open slightly, his eyes a little wide. “exactly.”

you hum in thought, a few seconds passing in silence before you pull your wired earphones out of your pocket, offering him an earbud after. you figured if you were partners, you might as well work hard together. “let’s start with this, then,” you try. “what do you think when you listen to it?”

songs were stories, after all, even without the lyrics. like putting together parts of a puzzle and assembling it piece by piece, it was your job to find what part of the story was untold and fill in the missing words.

sunwoo furrows his brows, leaning closer. the earbud wire dangles precariously over the desk, headphone jack connected to your phone in the middle. breath held, you try to ignore the close proximity in favor of focusing on the chords, the bass, the melody. even with just the guide melody, each note sounds like a confession, like a secret waiting to be unveiled, wanting to be stripped and laid in the open.

“it’s a sad song,” you comment, breaking the silence, “but it’s like…it sounds like there’s more to it than that?” you let the question hang in the air, looking at him half-expectant.

“it almost sounds…” sunwoo begins, trailing off as he mulls over his words.

“bittersweet?”

sunwoo nods as he hurries to scribble down a few words onto the sheet of paper. the puzzle piece clicks into place. “that’s what i was thinking too. like there’s still something left to remember even if it’s all over, like…”

“like even in the hurt, it’s still—“

“—love.”

before. (love is lonely.)

party streamers littered on the floor throughout the living room, the metallic gold strips of paper and plastic scattered amongst silver glint in the darkness, catching in the lowlight. balloons of all different types of assortments were sprinkled throughout your apartment as well, regular colorful latex balloons floating above your couch and set atop your coffee table and fallen beneath your stools, while the fancier balloons had been pinned on an empty wall of your kitchen, ‘happy birthday’ with an extra exclamation mark and heart balloon spelled out in big bubble letters.

sat at the kitchen table, you watch in silence as a small candle flickers in front of you, placed in a single cupcake that your friends had insisted on saving for you after the party.

(for when he calls, they had said gently, pushing the cupcake and the unopened candle towards you. you can blow it out with him, make your birthday wish together.)

it paints you orange, the soft glow just warm enough for you to barely feel it as shadows dance on the table. ten minutes away from midnight, you hold your breath, something in your chest deflating as you close your eyes, readying yourself to blow out the candle.

your phone lights up, ringing; you scramble to salvage what lingering traces of hope you have left.

you try not to think too much of it when the incoming call shows up as a voice call rather than video like it usually is, but your greeting slips out a little too quickly, too obvious to tell that you were waiting for him to call. “hi, sunwoo.”

“hey,” sunwoo greets back, words spoken slowly, his voice tracing the edge of a drowsy rasp. any trace of bringing up the voice call goes out the window. if this had been any normal circumstance, you would have teased him for mistapping his screen, playfully badger him to switch over to video call so you could see him in all his bare-faced glory. (but then again, a small voice in the back of your mind interrupts, if this were any normal circumstance, he would have just been here instead of across the world.) you push the thought away; a small drop of wax begins to melt down the candle.

“we just got back to our hotel,” he tells you, and you can see it clearly almost as if you were there. the contents of their luggage messily splayed about the carpeted hotel floor, outfits for tomorrow draped on the chairs, and dirty clothes piled in a hamper in the corner. you can faintly hear a shower being turned on in the background, and sunwoo comments on it before you can ask. “can you believe this? changmin-hyung kicked me out of the bathroom as soon as we came into our room,” he complains, and you know that his lip is jutted out in a pout of indignation at the injustice of it all. “he said that i’d take too long and use up all the hot water if i went first.”

“well…” you chide softly, a smile faint on your lips. “he’s not exactly wrong, sunwoo.”

sunwoo whines, and you can hear him kick the sheet on the mattress. “you’re siding with him?”

“sorry,” and you don’t sound apologetic in the slightest. “you know i can’t lie.”

he grumbles something unintelligible as you breathe out something resembling a laugh. silence lulls for a few seconds, your shadow long on the tabletop, and you try to harden the twist in your gut, gathering the courage.

“i—”

“today—”

you stop, and so does he.

“oh, you go first,” sunwoo offers, but you hesitate, offering back.

“no, it’s okay, you go.”

sunwoo insists again, but you can sense his fight against his heavy eyelids growing closer by the second, the yawn that he stifles every time he pauses, so you force down the confession, keep your wish tucked away within the flickering candlelight. he would know, right?

“no, i mean it—what were you going to say? how was your day? how was the flight?”

there’s a moment of uncertainty where sunwoo tries to decide whether or not to continue the exchange, but he gives in eventually. “the flight was good,” he begins, albeit still reluctant. “the plane food was better than usual, surprisingly.”

you hum in acknowledgement, encouraging him to continue.

“and i fell asleep an hour in and—chanhee-hyung,” he interrupts himself, suddenly remembering. “i fell asleep and chanhee took these photos of me and—”

“were you drooling?” you guess, sympathetic.

“how did you—i mean no! i was not drooling!”

“chanhee’s newshots will never lie, you know.”

“ugh,” sunwoo groans. “remind me why you’re friends with him again?”

you contemplate, humming. “birds of a feather?”

(chanhee had actually sent you the photos earlier this morning, along with the text “happy birthday, here’s a loser as your gift.” he followed it up with an additional message of “your loser…i guess.”)

“oh, speaking of birds,” sunwoo adds, “that reminds me. i saw two ducks swimming in the river today. mandarin ducks, i think.”

“oh?”

“yeah.” his voice grows quieter, almost embarrassed as he mumbles, “they reminded me of you.”

you go still. you try to fight the hardened knot in your stomach from softening and twisting further. he’s just a hopeless romantic, you tell yourself, but the knot wrings tighter, creeping up into your chest the more you try to not think about it. mandarin ducks, the symbol of love.

(“they mate for life, you know?”)

sunwoo tries to change the subject, ears surely burning red as he stammers his way to the next topic while half-muffled into a pillow. “anyway, i didn’t call you too late, did i? it’s three a.m. over here, and i wasn’t sure. i didn’t wake you up, or anything?”

your ears ring as you swallow hard, eyes burning as you look at the clock on the wall. it ticks, once. “no, it just turned midnight here.”

(you suddenly remember that chanhee had sent you another message afterwards, one that you never opened properly to read. “he’s said happy birthday to you already, right?” you had wanted to open it when you could respond with a “yes.”)

“oh, okay,” sunwoo smiles over the phone, love and affection still tangible even through the tiredness in his voice, the drowsiness that permeates through the speaker. “that’s good to hear. you should probably sleep soon, though, i don’t want to keep you up too late.”

“yeah,” you say, barely audible. were you expecting too much? “changmin should probably be done by now, too.”

“hey,” he frowns. “you okay?”

“yeah, i’m okay. just tired,” you tell him, tight-lipped as you smile.

“we never got to talk about your day,” sunwoo mentions, a reminder with gentle insistence. even on the verge of sleep, he was still trying. “i’m free after dry rehearsal, so we can call again tomorrow night? i wanna hear about it first thing.”

you draw in a breath to agree, but something else slips out instead, the one thing you had tried to keep contained since the beginning. maybe you had brought this upon yourself, holding out for it until midnight slipped between your fingers, the hope in your chest slowly unfurling. you wonder if it was obvious, the remnants scattered at your feet.

"sunwoo," you call softly. the line goes quiet. you almost regret it, the words catching in the back of your throat when you try to speak them, but you imagine what it would be like if you forced your tongue to form them anyway, awkward and wooden and hurt. “i…” it was my birthday, today. did you know? did you forget?

by the kitchen, the big trash bag tied to the outside of your trash can is filled to the brim with plastic cups and paper plates. there’s still wrapping paper you need to throw away left on the counters, leftovers that need to be transferred and stored and put in the fridge. you wonder if you would have felt better about the hassle if sunwoo was there with you—to toss an empty cup into the open bag from across the room, to listen to you talk about your favorite memories from the celebration, to turn off the final light with you at the end of it all. like the old times.

even on call, he could have done most of those things, maybe even save you time from giving him a chiding look when he’d inevitably miss throwing the cup into the trash bag by half a foot. he never really had to be here, he had just always been with you, in one way or another.

but it wasn’t not really your sunwoo anymore, was it? not really. not since he became more than that kid in the practice room with a pen between his teeth and a metronome in his hand, not since he became synonymous with the brand his name was attached to. and it was unfair of you to expect those kinds of trivial things from someone so far out of your reach now, right?

so the question remains a lump as you swallow it down—close your eyes, blink back the tears, it's your fault in the end, anyway—and smile. "no, nevermind. you must be tired, you should sleep soon."

“are you sure—“

“bye, sunwoo.”

you watch as the reflection of the flame trembles in the small pool in the center of the cupcake; the wax has long since melted onto the frosting. you blow it out, and the candle leaves only a trace of smoke curling in the air in its wake—silent, alone.

it wasn’t so much that sunwoo had forgotten your birthday, but it was everything that it encapsulated, everything it makes you realize. how he was so much bigger than this, than you, how you shouldn’t have expected him to remember every little thing when he already has so much on his plate and a hundred more important matters to worry about. didn’t you hear the rasp in his voice? the exhaustion that coated each word? how he still took the time to call you at three a.m even after a full day of work and schedules?

you place the melted candle into the trash, carving out the tainted top with an extra knife lying on the counter. don’t be a bother. don’t hinder him with needless things.

the next morning, sunwoo calls in a panic, hurried apologies blurring all his words together in a flurry as he frantically promises to make it up to you when he comes home. you tell him it’s fine, you knew he was tired and busy and you didn’t want him to worry about it, but the soft assurance can’t hide the underlying hurt that splinters between him and you.

and he does keep his promise when he returns. the day after the plane arrives home, sunwoo’s first order of business is to insist on a full day spent together, making it his mission to be at your beck and call the entire time. he showers you with countless presents from his trip overseas and twice as much affection for each day that he was gone, but even underneath all the cheery smiles and excited banter, you can’t shake the feeling from that night. the mess on the floor, the shadows distorted in orange light.

it never really is quite the same, after that.

after. (love is a martyr.)

life goes on; it always does.

not much changes, at least nothing that isn’t glaringly obvious. you throw yourself into your work like you always have, going to countless songwriting camps and workshops, sending in drafts of songs to a&r teams of various companies only to be rejected then revised and then offered again for other songs and artists by other companies, a continuous cycle that seems to blur all the following days together. the only difference is that your phone stays eerily quiet—no scheduled ding at lunchtime reminding you to eat, no pictures shared throughout the day, no good night phone call to lull you to sleep.

though, you still talk to chanhee from time to time, if only because of his persistent insistence on the matter.

“we’re recording tomorrow,” he mentions, voice crackling over the speaker. you pause for a split second over a half-open cardboard box, hand faltering over the frayed edge of the flap. you’d only recently gotten around to unpacking the rest of your boxes from your move months ago; it wasn’t as if you were too busy to get around to it, but you suppose a part of you wanted to prolong the finality of it all, whether consciously or not. and on this wednesday afternoon on a day off, you figured it was better to do it now than never at all.

you let out an “oh” in response, grabbing a few things from the box and placing it on the floor to reorganize later. “another comeback?”

chanhee’s chair squeaks as he hums, leaning back. he was in his practice room at the company—you can tell by the way he doesn’t whisper his words to you like they were a secret kept and hidden away. not like whenever he calls you at the dorm, careful of what wounds may open up again if someone were to overhear. “the teasers should be released soon.”

“you seem busy, lately,” you comment distantly, placing the phone on the table and setting it to speaker as you collect as many mini decorative plates and bowls in your hands before you stand up, ready to place them in various places around the living room and kitchen. remnants of the afternoon’s rain slips down the window glass, clouds casting the sky and your apartment a wash of dull gray. “first the tour, then a japanese album, now a comeback—are you sure you’re okay? you’re still taking care of yourself, right?”

“i mean, i’m fine,” chanhee says, a hint of ‘of course i take care of myself, who do you think i am?’ in the retort, “but.” he pauses, taking a breath, and you can tell he tests the words on his tongue before he speaks them. “are you sure it’s me you’re worried about?”

you place a bowl down on the windowsill a little harsher than you mean to. “chanhee.”

“sorry.”

chanhee at least sounds apologetic when he says it, but he interrupts the silence that falls soon after slowly, tentatively asking. “you’re going to listen to it though, right?”

you swallow hard, breathing out a long sigh as you pick up the phone again, holding it to your ear as you speak. “of course i am. did you even need to ask?”

“no,” he replies, a second’s pause where you think he shakes his head. “i just wanted to hear it from you for certain. to hear that you were still listening to us.”

‘to sunwoo.’ the words go unspoken, lying heavy in the air. it’s almost cruel, the way chanhee picks and pulls at the confession you have hidden like a wound just finished scabbing over, especially when he knows your answer just as well as you do. of course you would still be listening to sunwoo—that’s what you had promised him, way back when.

(the memory flashes by in an instant. the chill of a cool spring night, the squeak of the swing, the dim golden light of the street lamp above. you can still feel it, sometimes, the condensation slick on your fingertips, the bite of cold metal through your palm—the warmth, in spite of that.)

a small part of you whispers, what were promises really worth, in the end? you aren’t the same person you used to be, and neither is he. sixteen is a far cry from where you are in your twenties, the weight of the years lived through making you let go of the things a teenage-you wouldn’t have ever dreamed of—and that was normal, letting bits and pieces of your past selves be carried away by the passage of time. you know the same holds true for him, too.

but still. even if everything else had changed, you feel like it’s your duty, almost. to always be listening to him till the end.

“i have to go, chanhee,” you tell him, quiet. he makes a small noise over the phone, and before he can apologize, you interrupt with a small, “you’re fine. i just need to finish unpacking my stuff, and i promised myself i’d finish it all today.”

“you still haven’t unpacked?” he asks, baffled. “it’s been months?”

“i know,” you sigh, giving a little shrug. “i’ve just never gotten around to it. that’s why i have to finish it today or else i know i’ll never get back to it again.”

chanhee tells you to take care of yourself, to which you dryly remark to focus on following your own advice first and you say your farewells goodnaturedly, pressing to end the call.

it’s like a switch flips, silence falling almost immediately throughout the apartment, the heaviness in your chest weighted down even further in your solitude. you run a finger along the textured edge of the cardboard flap again, staring blankly at the items still wrapped tight in the box. a breath—in, then out, and then you blink it away, getting to work.

the box of posters and prints gets emptied out first, a roll of tape by your side as you hang up any remaining decorations that you’d left to a later affair when you’d first moved into the apartment. afterwards comes the books that you shelve carefully in alphabetical order in the small slot beneath the tv, then the living room curtains, the pack of postcards and holiday wishes kept in a tin case for safekeeping, the old journals you wrote in years ago and never looked back on since. you sometimes wonder if you should just throw them away, but you could never bring yourself to do it; you try to chalk it up to being too attached to the idea of the memories, even if you could never truly look at them again.

you heave the final box into your bedroom, hours later, huffing as you set it down in front of the drawers. sliding the bottom drawer open, the crumpled pile of clothes stuffed inside stares back at you. outside the window, golden hour peaks through your blinds, the sunset shedding just enough light for you to see in the dimness of your room. you crouch down onto the floor, knees knocking against the wood as you slowly take each article of clothing out, one by one to refold.

it was all clothes that you could afford to spare a second glance at, old shirts and pants that you never truly wore on a daily basis, clothes that were kept as another ‘just in case.’ and like the postcards and the journals and everything else in those boxes, the clothes crammed in that small space just seemed like something you kept choosing to not look at, to refuse to address in any way but in brief memory. you had told yourself that you’d always come back to it whenever you’d unpack the rest of the box of clothes, but looking back on it, maybe that was just a way of comforting yourself amidst the avoidance.

still, in the faint darkness of the room, you take each shirt out carefully, smoothing out the wrinkles and folding each crease to be in its proper shape. you had forgotten some of them existed, drawing out a small smile when you see the old mickey mouse shirt your mom had gotten you on her trip to disneyland, the student-made shirts from your high school graduating class, the club shirts you had joined in college. each refolded shirt gets stacked onto a pile beside the box, a reminder to go back and put the clothes from the box back in the drawer as well, but when you pull out the last shirt jammed in the far end of the drawer, you stop.

it’s nothing special, really, just a faded pink t-shirt with what seems like some semblance of a barely legible logo printed onto the front, but you clutch the fabric between your fingers, a memory from long ago surging back.

(“sunwoo…”

“yeah?” sunwoo pokes his head around the corner, morning sun dyeing his black hair a shade of light brown. he has a towel half-folded in his hands, corners lined up unevenly with one another. “what’s up?”

you frown, partially because you see a very near future of refolding all of the laundry he didn’t pay enough attention to, and partially because of the thing in your hands. “...you didn’t happen to put that one vintage white shirt you had in the latest pile, right?”

he frowns, eyebrows scrunching as he thinks. “i don’t know, maybe? why?”

slowly, as if to make him bear witness, you present to him his formerly treasured white shirt, freshly washed and dried, now dyed a clean shade of pale pink. “you put them in with my reds.”

sunwoo’s mouth gapes open just slightly, a small ‘ah’ escaping his lips. “i’m guessing we can’t do takebacksies on that?”

you groan, smothering your face into the shirt as you let out a long, exasperated “kim sunwoo…”

he tosses the towel in his hands onto the edge of the hamper as he steps into the laundry room, taking a closer look at it. “hey, it’s not even a big deal!” sunwoo reasons, trying to gently pry the shirt from your hands, but you wave it around accusingly before he gets a chance to get a firm grip on it.

“what do you mean,” you stress, waving the shirt that much more vigorously. “it was vintage! who knows how much you spent on this damn thing! and now it’s…” your eyes fall to it, defeated. “pink…”

“you know what, though?” he begins, taking your hands in his, and you meet his gaze, doubtful. “this is good. i’ve been wanting to give you one of my shirts anyway.”

“wha—”

sunwoo’s eyes light up, holding your hands excitedly. “it’s like, symbolic, you know? your shirt with my shirt dyed all together, it’s like…” he pauses, giving you a cheeky smile. “it’s like it’s you and me together forever.”

you can’t control the giggle that escapes after he says it, letting go of the shirt as you smack him lightly with bubbling laughter between your lips. as infectious as his smile is, dust floating in the streams of sunlight between, you call him lame for the cheesy comment because he is—he is lame for coming over to your place on his rare weekend off and of all the things he could do, he offers to fold your laundry together while simultaneously ruining one of his pieces of clothing in the process of trying to help, and then spins it in a way where none of it really matters because at the end of the day he knows it’s always just going to be him and you.

“and also, i just really want to see you in another one of my shirts.”

you throw the abandoned towel from the hamper into his face and tell him to go fold it instead, affection ever-present in your eyes. lame.)

that morning seems so far away when you think of it now. you bring the shirt to your face again—maybe for nostalgia’s sake, maybe to get some trace of what once was. wrinkles littered throughout the fabric, the smell of old wood from being stuffed in a drawer for months permeates through the shirt; darkness falls in the room as the sun fully sets, leaving only a sliver of dark orange lining the horizon.

you remember it, still. the scent of freshly washed fabric softener and the soft morning light and the heap of other clothes you and sunwoo had painstakingly gone over twice to make sure nothing else had leaked through and been dyed other colors, playful and teasing. you wonder what he would say to you if he saw you now, sitting on the floor with piles of clothes folded even with the wrinkles still tight. what he would say to you, if you listened.

and when you hold the shirt still for a second longer, breathing it in again, you realize that even the small traces of his old cologne were gone, too, all washed out with time.

you remember it all, and none of it is there anymore.

before. (love is like clouds, like fog.)

it’s a bit floaty, how the night comes to an end.

(sunwoo had arrived at your place around one a.m., hands shoved in his jacket pockets as he rocked back slightly on his feet, giving you a half-cheeky half-abashed grin. “i don’t suppose you’d be in the mood for a midnight snack, would you?”

already clad in warm pajamas and almost all finished washing up, you had stared at sunwoo for a long moment, slowly blinking, before creaking your door open wider and stepping to the side. “it’s cold. do you want ramyun?”)

he’d come immediately after practice, the sessions where they’d spent the entire day at the studio and only managed to come home at the insistence of their managers. it was for something they were preparing for, you know that for sure, so you hold your tongue from chiding him for not calling you ahead of time and instead shuffle to your kitchen, pot clanging onto the stove.

he was under enough stress as of late; you tried to support him in the ways you could, no matter how little they were.

when you both finish the two packs of ramyun and he offers to wash the pot, you shoo him away with a threatening slap of the pink rubber gloves by the sink, telling him to go wash up instead under the pretense of his post-practice sweat stinking up your entire apartment. sunwoo gasps, retorting that he smelled perfectly fine, but you give him a single look and he trudges away into the hallway, a weak indignant kick to the floor as he mumbles under his breath.

it never really comes up directly, the topic of disbandment, from you or from him. you talk of the preparation of road to kingdom, the exhaustion and stress that comes along with it, the weight its potential success carries unspoken between it all. you’re not entirely sure if the avoidance of the topic is deliberate on his part or not, but you try not to push for it too much. you know just as well as he does, and neither of you try to make it anything more than that.

“you know what,” he starts, later in the night when both of you are washed up and curled up in bed. “i’ve been thinking about it recently; it wouldn’t be so bad.”

you raise a curious brow, propping your head up as you turn to get a better look at him. “what wouldn’t?”

“you know, becoming a house husband.”

“sunwoo,” you blink. “what.” it was way too late for him to just be saying shit like this.

“i am just saying!” sunwoo gestulates dramatically with a hand, trying to prove his point. “if it doesn’t work out, i can definitely do the cooking and cleaning around this place while you go to work.”

“you can’t even clean up after yourself.”

“i can, i just don’t want to!”

you cast him a doubtful look, one filled with the knowledge that eric still complains daily about the pile of clothes tossed in the living room that are definitely sunwoo’s no matter how hard he tries to deny it, and that changmin loses half a year of his life every time he discovers another face mask sunwoo had slapped onto the wall or ceiling of their dorm room, and that the electricity bill at their dorm would run them to mere pennies if younghoon was never there to turn off the lights that sunwoo was supposed to. “is there a difference…”

“yes!” sunwoo insists, a strangely adamant look on his face. “i could totally do it. you would come home from a long and busy day of work and i’d have your entire dinner hot on the stove with a warm bath ready for you—you wouldn’t even have to lift a finger if i was there.”

you place a hand slowly on his, a placating gesture. “baby…” you coo, appeasing, and sunwoo tries to control his expression to keep up the indignancy. poorly, with the way he almost fumbles his entire stance at the mere mention of the petname, but at least you can tell he’s trying his hardest. “i think you’d burn my entire apartment down. or flood it, depending on which one goes horribly wrong first.”

“how could you!” he exclaims, pulling his hand away. “ye of little faith…” sunwoo’s voice goes grave and solemn. “don’t you want to see me in a sexy apron.”

“if i wanted to see you in a sexy apron, i would just give one to you.”

and even though sunwoo sulks and pulls a face at you, his insistence turns a bit softer when he repeats, “really, though.”

he goes quiet, picking at a loose thread on your comforter. “it wouldn’t be so bad, if…if it doesn’t work out.” ‘it’ being road to kingdom, ‘it’ being their next album, ‘it’ being the boyz as a whole; your heart sinks. “i think the rest of us would just go back home, you know? maybe we’d pretend that these past years never happened, maybe all these memories would just turn bitter, but…” sunwoo gives you a lopsided smile, soft. “i would still come back home to you.”

the sentiment aches a little, your breath hitching as you try to rifle through the layers of emotions that sink to the bottom of your stomach, like picking at skin still raw underneath and not yet ready to peel. you wonder if he means it, if he truly sees you as a home to come back to or if you’re just something familiar, something safe; it’s not much of a distinction, but the details make all the difference—whether you’re somewhere he belongs, or if you’re simply kept sepia-tinted as a place to keep his preserved youth. the words escape from you before you can stop them.

“you don’t have to, you know.”

sunwoo pauses, and there’s a silence that falls soon after that makes you shrink into yourself, regretting words that can’t be taken back. “what do you mean?”

“if it doesn’t…” you don’t want to speak it into existence—they’ll do well, they have to. you try to form your words carefully, deliberately, so that they’ll be spoken correctly and convey exactly what it is you mean, but it all comes poorly anyway, clumsy and messy as you trip over your own tongue. “you don’t have to…you know.” your mouth goes dry. “stay.”

sunwoo tries to not look offended at the suggestion, even if his furrowed brows say it all. but despite his own feelings on the matter, he tries his best to reign in his instinctive reaction, instead going to slowly coax you away from the ledge you’ve driven yourself to.

“i mean, i know i don’t have to,” he purses his lips, frowning. “it’s not like i feel obligated or anything, but i want to.” i love you, he means. i want to love you, i choose to love you.

there are a lot of things about sunwoo that you don’t quite understand—how he can internalize his envy to fuel his ambition, or how he still remains soft-hearted even after all these years, but you can’t begin to understand why sunwoo still holds onto you when you’ve long since stopped being something that he needs, nothing but a safe reminder of what once was. does he know? can he sense the way the two of you have started constantly tiptoeing around each other while trying to keep up an easy sense of normalcy, the memory of youth neither of you can return to?

you’ve been holding back from each other—not just him, but you too. it’s easy, to slip into old banter and avoid the things bothering you, to play the part of your teenage selves full of passion and hopeful, unattained dreams, and maybe sunwoo knows this too. maybe he knows and he doesn’t want to admit it, allowing his world to be rose-colored to cling onto a past that leaves him loveblind to what he really needs, to keep him from acknowledging the fact that you’re nothing but a fragment of the past, something kept to fester.

sunwoo is a star, you think—no, you know. you’ve known for quite some time now, how he was bright and shining and meant for things lightyears away from anything you could ever see, and yet here he was instead: inside your apartment late at night in your bed, talking about how he was ready to fall back down to earth to be with you. like you were tying him down to somewhere he was never meant to stay, he was never meant to be.

and an hour later, when time sits between the precipice of twilight and dawn, you whisper an apology to him so faint it lingers in the air, floating between you and sunwoo’s still form. you’re sure he doesn’t hear it, that he’s been sound asleep for the past couple of minutes and it remains a secret between you and the not-yet-risen sun, but sunwoo shifts slightly, blinking at you in the dark, and ah. he wasn’t asleep after all.

turning to fully face you, he sits up to match your posture and takes a breath, a hand coming to rest on the back of your head as he bumps his forehead gently into yours. his eyes flicker over your features, concern etched clear even in the blinking drowsiness. “what?” what are you talking about, are you okay? “what for?”

you shake your head, leaning into his touch as if to have the memory of him last just a little longer on your skin. it’s too much to say, too much of a weight to have sunwoo shoulder alongside you. so you tamp it down, swallowing back the lump in your throat as you blink away the heat behind your eyes. i’m just sorry. for everything.

sunwoo’s brows furrow, sheets rustling as he shifts again to sit up straighter, but you find his hand gently, threading your fingers through his as you smile—something soft and tender and so full of burdens it slips through and becomes fragile instead.

“it’s okay. nevermind.”

after. (love is a dream, lingering.)

you’re not sure if you can feel your face by the time you come stumbling back into your apartment.

fresh from a work dinner, the alcohol still buzzes in your system even through the barbeque you’d eaten along with the soju, even after the taxi ride home. too many seniors had offered to pour your drinks, all attributing them to the success of the most recently released song you’d worked on, and of course, you had to take it all with two hands, a polite smile, and the burn of the liquid on its way down. even if the taxi ride home had sobered you up slightly, your head still remains fuzzy and unfocused by the time you find the right key to your apartment and fumble with it before opening up the door.

you kick off your shoes by the front and drop your bag somewhere by the kitchen before making your way to the living room, coat thrown on the ground as you crumple yourself in the space between your coffee table and the foot of the couch. slipping your phone out of your pocket, you wince at the sudden brightness of the screen as it lights up. the apartment always seemed loneliest, like this.

it’s late, almost two in the morning from what you can make out from the glare of the screen, but you only look at it for a second before you swipe up, squinting as you enter your passcode. everything after this, you know, has morphed its way into being muscle memory more than anything else.

you ignore the warning that pops in the corner of your phone in a red-laced ‘20% remaining’ and you let the practiced motions take over, tapping phone, then voicemail, and before you know it you’re back where you always are, staring at the only recording in your inbox before you press play.

a few seconds of silence fill the air, static crackling over the speaker, and then a voice speaks.

“hey.” it comes out shaky, just barely enough for you to tell. you want to say you probably wouldn’t have been able to hear it if you hadn’t listened to it so many times by now, but truthfully, you’d heard the slight tremble in the voice since the very first time.

(it was sunwoo, after all. how could you not know?)

sunwoo takes in a sharp breath, the beginning of an apology readying to end the call caught in his throat; you sometimes try to imagine a world where the apology goes through, where he instead tells you sorry, i shouldn’t have called and hangs up before the point of no return, but you’re glad this is the world you live in instead. the one where sunwoo swallows past the regret and starts to speak again, too light and full of faux casualness for his easy demeanor to be sincere, the one where you have the chance to hear his voice again. “strange hearing from me, right? shit, i don’t even know if this is still your number—i guess i could have asked chanhee-hyung to make sure but i’m not sure he would have been too happy to hear me ask about you.”

he pauses, and from the amount of times you’ve listened to it you’ve made into something resembling a little game, filling in the gaps of what he could have done in the pockets of silence—like he’d squeezed his eyes shut at the thought, or he’d pressed into the spot between his eyes to fight away the image of chanhee’s disapproving stare. “he always did that, you know. for a long time after…” sunwoo bites his tongue. “i think it was pity, like he felt bad. not that he needed to, or anything, but you know how he is.”

he pauses again, as if scrambling for what to say next, what direction to take the one-sided conversation. “i, um, i don’t know if you heard, but we recently moved to a new dorm. we split into three separate ones, so we all got our own room, and you think that’d be great and everything after sharing a room with kevin-hyung for the past few years but we played rock, paper, scissors for our room picks and—” indignancy sneaks its way into his cadence, and you smile at this part always “—i really think i got the smallest room. i’m pretty sure it’s smaller than the bathroom. and jacob-hyung got the biggest room!” sunwoo continues, grumbling. “i’m not mad about it or anything, it’s fine… it just seems a little unfair, don’t you think? and, and…”

your eyes flicker, watching the seconds on the timestamp tick by as sunwoo continues to ramble about the most miniscule of things: more dorm shenanigans that sunwoo insists he was completely innocent in, how he’d run into jihoon backstage during a music show after not seeing him for a while, the pictures his members had posted for his birthday that he claims could have potentially ruined his ‘sexy and charismatic’ image with the fans forever. it all feels like he’s scraping the surface, the real reason he called still buried deep beneath all the frivolous hedging; it’s become almost obvious, given the amount of times you’ve listened to it, how each word is just another second stalled trying to build up enough courage.

and finally, when all of sunwoo’s pretense dies, when the lull at the other end of the line comes again, whatever he was planning on saying next deflates as he goes quiet, finally gathering enough courage for the whole truth. you mouth the words, ears buzzing, the timing and cadence seared into your memory.

“you were in my dream last night.”

you remember the morning you’d woken up to this voicemail, remember your thumb hovering over play but not finding it in yourself to press it. you know—you’ve known since the beginning that the recording would only add to your troubles, but on a night like tonight where the noise of the work party still echoes in your head and the apartment feels lonelier than ever after a tipsy ride home, the bruise feels too tender for you to do anything but press into it, over and over and over again.

“i’m not even sure why i called you just to tell you that—i didn’t even get to say it to you.” sunwoo lets out a wry laugh. “i mean, of course you wouldn’t pick up, it’s five in the morning, i don’t really know what i was expecting, but i…no.” the confession tumbles from his lips, shaky and vulnerable and no matter how many countless times you’ve heard it, it still feels like slicing open an old wound. “i think i just wanted to hear your voice.”

sometimes, you let this section play out fully, his words like tiny shards of glass forming cuts on your skin without stopping; other times, you press pause just to replay it, just to hear him say it again, just to feel the sting and ache as you try to recreate the rawness you’d felt the very first time you heard it. salt in a wound is still salt no matter what name it tries to go by, but you suppose that’s why you’ve trapped yourself in this routine in the first place—to make sure the bruise still hurts, to pick at the scab just to see it bleed.

“i guess it just didn’t work out though, did it? your voicemail’s still the same automated message it’s been since high school, so all i’m really doing here is embarrassing myself.” everything laid down and exposed with no walls left to hide behind, sunwoo’s words come quiet and fragile. “i think a part of me expected it to still be the same, but—maybe the other part of me hoped things had changed. isn’t that ironic?” he breathes out a small resigned laugh. “change is what got us here in the first place, and now here i am, talking to myself and leaving a voicemail to a number that i’m not even sure is yours. pretty stupid of me, right?”

sunwoo swallows hard and so do you, the memory of the words ringing in your ears before he speaks them. “i miss you,” he says eventually. “i’m sorry.”

the faint static on the other end of the line tapers on for one, two, three seconds more before the recording finally ends, stretching into true silence. the first few times you had listened to it, you’d kept your ear pressed to the speaker, replaying those last few seconds desperate for anything else you could have missed, anything you could make out after his final words. now, you simply stare at the screen, still burning bright in the dark.

it’s almost funny, the way this has formed itself into something resembling a bad habit. every time, you go through the motions like they’re old and used and worn because they are, no matter how much you refuse to admit it; and each time, you take the shame and the guilt that curls in your stomach and ball it up inside of you, letting it seep into your bones, so that the next morning when you wake up, you can look at yourself with your newly polished and clean exterior and pretend that it’s merely something left in the past.

but for now, you hit play on the recording again, watching the seconds tick by once more.

(the next morning, you wake up to your phone still in your hands, battery completely dead, the previous night nothing but a pounding headache and a blur of what might have been. a new day, and yet it all feels like the same motions all over again.

you ignore the calcified shame within you, play ignorant to the cycle that will inevitably repeat itself the next time a night like that comes again, and you pretend that this is the one thing you won’t let go of, even if it turns into all you have left.)

before. (—you were my youth.)

it’s a tuesday night when you see sunwoo again.

dressed only in sweats and a jacket for extra warmth, you had just finished your regularly scheduled convenience store snack run, plastic bag in hand, when you turn the corner and see a glimpse of him: backpack slung over his shoulder, trudging steps, wearing single gray hoodie that was no doubt too thin for him to not catch a cold on an early spring night. blinking, you register the familiar face for a split second before you call out after him, half-jogging to catch up.

“hey! hey, sunwoo!”

for a moment, it’s almost as if he doesn’t hear you; and then, his foot stops in front of the other, hand moving to take out an earbud. sunwoo turns around, gaze wandering until he meets your gaze. his eyes light up in recognition as he makes out your face in the residual light from the convenience store windows, the glow of the street lamp a few feet away.

he holds up a hand for a polite wave. “oh, hey.”

“heading home?” you ask, peering at him. you hadn’t really seen much of him these past few months, other than the increasingly sparse times you’d spot him in class.

“yeah,” sunwoo nods, a slight smile to go along with it. “just got back from training.”

“ah, i see.” it’s a little strange, looking at him now. even if you hadn’t taken a good look at him recently, you could still tell something was a little off about him; maybe in the way he was carrying himself, the heaviness of his step, the half-hearted way his smile didn’t look quite like the one you were used to.

then again, what did you know? it wasn’t as if you were best friends or anything—after you’d partnered with him for that one project months ago, you’d only talked to him a handful of times, either in passing or when you saw each other around. calling him a close friend would be far from the truth, but calling him just a classmate wouldn’t exactly be accurate either. you suppose he stood in a strange middle ground, one you didn’t seem to mind.

but even so, maybe even just the implication of friendship was enough for the concern to fully settle itself into your mind, the reason why you can’t bring yourself to just brush off his exhaustion as a result of the late hour, and why you impulsively jab your thumb towards the neighborhood playground a block away, the plastic bag in your hands rustling from the motion. “you wanna make a small pitstop before you go?”

and surprisingly, despite a moment’s hesitation, sunwoo takes you up on the offer.

it’s how you find yourself sitting together on the swingset, the subtle squeak of metal on metal almost serving as a familiar comfort as you rock back and forth, heels digging into the bark beneath. “i heard you got into loen, right?” you try, peeling your awkward stare from the chipped paint on the side of the swing over to the boy next to you. “how is that going? i never really got the chance to congratulate you on it.”

“it’s good,” sunwoo replies, almost on instinct, but before he can continue, he closes his mouth instead. the rest of the sentence tapers off into an awkward silence, leaving you to fill in the gaps.

“tough?” you ask, more of a rhetorical than anything else. maybe you were overstepping your bounds by prying, but the least you could do is offer a lending ear, especially now that you were both here anyway. “i might not be a trainee,” you offer, “but i know it can’t be easy.”

sunwoo presses his lips into a line, swallowing in contemplation, before nodding.

“i don’t know,” he confesses, the toe of his shoe digging a hole into the woodchips. “it’s definitely hard, but it’s not just that… i like that it’s hard, you know? it means i’m challenging myself and it means i’m learning, it’s just—they said they’re selecting the debut lineup soon.” the swing chain squeaks between the rustling of the bark. “what if i don’t make it?”

(what if i never make it?)

you get it—the uncertainty that haunts every step of this path. you’ve seen enough of your friends and classmates drop everything to pursue their dreams, only to have it thrown back in their face, failures either resulting in a renewed perseverance or the battering of their soul. and even if you weren’t taking part in the same rigorous and merciless training process that plagues them, the crumbling foothold follows you too, at times, all for a dream you can’t ensure will spare you even pennies in return.

but you do it because you want to, because you have to, because you love it too much for there to be any other option you’d be willing to fathom. and in spite of the short time you’ve gotten to know him, you’re sure the same holds true for sunwoo, too.

“then you try again.” his head shoots up, and you meet his eyes with a smile. “and you keep trying and trying until you can’t anymore—because you love it, right? dancing, singing, performing? you wouldn’t be doing this if you didn’t.”

you watch his expression carefully as your words land, waiting for the smallest sign to back off, but instead, sunwoo gives you a resolute nod, taking each word to heart.

“you can do it,” you tell him, every word sincere. “i know you can.”

there’s a certain weight in his gaze afterwards that almost makes you regret having said it, almost like you’ve overstepped in your own direction instead. what were you even doing?

the sudden intimacy of the moment settles into your stomach all at once, and you try to grasp at anything to bring back the lighthearted mood of a few minutes ago—for your own sake. clearing your throat, you try to dispel the sudden heaviness in the air.

“in any case,” you start, rifling through your bag. fishing out a container of strawberry milk, you stand up and walk over to sunwoo, pressing it against his cheek; he jumps from the sudden cold against his skin. “you know we have exams coming up, right?”

sunwoo groans, raising a hand to take the milk. “what if i just dropped out like jihoon?”

before he can grab it, you press the container harder into his face, frowning. “don’t even think about it!”

“but…” sunwoo looks up at you with sad, shining eyes, panhandling for a single ounce of pity. “that means no more exams…”

“and then what,” you reply dryly.

he finally takes the milk from your hands, pressing it to his forehead with his eyebrows furrowed, the beads of condensation threatening to slip down his palm. “okay, you have a good point.”

you roll your eyes, but sunwoo snaps his head up after a second of thinking longer, milk sloshing in the container at the sudden motion. “you wouldn’t leave me out to die all on my own, would you?”

“huh—”

sunwoo pleads your name in a dramatic fashion, hesitating a little before grabbing your hands to continue his spiel. you have a brief yet vivid image of his resemblance to a raccoon digging through your trashcan in your front yard. begging for scraps… “you have to remember me when you’re famous, okay…”

“sunwoo,” you exasperate, trying to pry your hands away from his, freezing and wet from the cold milk. “you aren’t dropping out and you are not becoming homeless.”

he nods enthusiastically. “right, because i’d have you!”

“don’t you have any other friends?”

sunwoo looks you dead in the eye, his grip tightening. “i have friends, but you would have the songwriting royalties.”

“for the last time,” you groan, finally slipping your hand away from his grasp. “you’re not gonna drop out, and you’re not going to become homeless! and you’re going to make it!” you rub your hand gingerly on the side of your jacket to wipe off the excess condensation. “enjoy the strawberry milk, i’m gonna head home.”

you turn and take a few steps, only for sunwoo to call out to you again. “hey, wait.”

pausing, you look back curiously. “yeah?”

“if…” he starts slowly, staring at the milk in his hands. “when i debut,” he rescinds, meeting your eyes. “will you listen? to me, i mean—even if you’re the only one?”

“i definitely won’t be the only one,” you chide, stuffing your hands in your pockets. the night air was growing colder by the second, remnants of winter lingering in the beginnings of spring. funnily enough, you don’t really seem to mind the chill. “we’ll make it, okay? we’ll make it together.”

you attempt to leave it at that, but the way he looks back at you, sunwoo holds the question between the two of you, still waiting for your answer—like he would have waited forever for it, if he needed to. and despite your previous unfamiliarity with sunwoo in this sort of setting, you figured it would be cruel to deny him of at least an earnest answer.

“to answer your question, though.” you try to look away to break the weight of his gaze, but you find yourself pulled back to it anyway. finding the resolve to match his, you step forward again. he needed to hear this; and maybe, you needed to say it, too.

“of course i will.” tonight’s moon waxes, its light peeking through the clouds. “i’ll always be rooting for you, kim sunwoo.”

after. (yet. love is always, always, a choice.)

the first few times you see the video on your recommended page, you try to ignore it.

you shove it to the back of your mind and you tell yourself it can wait just a little longer, that there’s no difference from watching it a few days from now. except the days stretch on into weeks, and it still remains untouched, lingering forever in an endless present. the video itself isn’t anything big, objectively speaking, but the heaviness of it weighs on you every time you see the title, knowing what it consists of: special release from kim sunwoo of the boyz, self-composed track.

it’s not exactly breaking the promise you had made to him all those years ago, more like putting it on hold. and maybe it’s for the best, the waiting period, but the longer you wait, the more things just keep piling on and shoved into the shelf to collect dust over the past few months—their last single, the mini-album that followed after, and now this. you had tried, that first time chanhee had asked you about it. you couldn’t make it far before you had to turn it off.

you tell yourself you’ll get around to it when it stops hurting, a soft assurance to still keep your promise, but you know it’s hypocritical to give yourself that easing comfort when in the same breath you’ve been pressing into the bruise again and again, never giving it the time and space to heal. the pain has never stopped you before, rather, you’ve grown close with the ache, the faint memory of the wound, but there’s something distinctly different about listening to his music that hurts too much for you to continue.

maybe it’s the way it brings you back to that classroom and that swingset and everything you know you can never go back to; or maybe, despite the voicemail that you still come back to on the loneliest of nights and the wrinkled shirt that remains crumpled in the corner of your room, a part of you knows that the salt in the wound would be nothing compared to digging an even deeper, uglier wound in a cut scabbed over. that’s only what it could feel like, if you listened to him before you were ready.

you want the memories as a lingering taste alone, but you’re scared that if you go back to that promise with two feet planted and an open heart, if you delve into the memories completely, you won’t be able to come back out.

tonight is different, though.

you want to blame it on the hour that hosts the beginning of dawn, or the way you can’t go back to sleep, or the dream you’d had before you had woken up, the details fading more each second. but when the video appears once again, thumbnail ingrained into your mind, you don’t even need to look at the title before you finally click on it.

(you had dreamt of him, that night.

it was a good dream, you think, at least in the moment—more of an old memory than anything else. sunwoo had come over the night before his birthday for an early celebration, insisting on being congratulated by you first thing once the clock struck twelve. you remember it being a small celebration, just the two of you in your apartment together with cheesy decorations and balloons blown up spelling out his name and a golden ‘hbd’ strung along the walls.

the rest of it comes in and blurs together in flashes: the strawberry cake you’d bought to share together, the way you’d wiped the frosting on his nose only for him to smear a bigger chunk onto your cheek, the shoddy match that came with the cake that sunwoo couldn’t light, no matter how hard he tried to save himself from the embarrassment.

and usually when you wake up from a good dream, you fall asleep again soon after, just to catch the traces of the dream before it’s gone forever. but you’re trying, slowly in your own way, to not do things like that anymore. after all, eventually the shirt needs to become just another shirt, and your voicemail will one day go back to having no more recordings saved.

you want to think you have it in you—to let the wound finish scabbing over and heal, to finally let it fade into almost nothing but a brief mark of time in your skin.)

the music starts the second the video starts to play, and you feel a pull at your gut, an inner voice whispering. you can still back out, it says, soothing. you haven’t hit the point of no return yet. it’s okay if you’re still not ready.

but then sunwoo’s voice cuts through the noise, each word sung with his heart on his sleeve, and that part of you grasping for any form of protection left instantly goes quiet. if it were about anything else, maybe you could have rationalized it to yourself and clicked out of the video, convince yourself to go back to sleep and that it was okay to wait. another time, another day, another world.

when he sings, he sings of you, he sings to you, and you remember that you had never truly listened to the words he’d wanted to say to you since you’d sent that text that ended everything that night—not really. didn’t you owe him, then, at least this?

so you swallow hard, and you blink until lights dot the inside of your eyelids, and you listen.

(sunwoo’s lyrics talk of love, how he had wanted to be yours. he had wanted to be yours forever, and yet he ended up losing you and maybe that was his fault; maybe if he had shown you his love better then you wouldn’t have let him go, then you would still be by his side instead of appearing only when he closes his eyes, unsure to call you a dream or a nightmare. not that it mattered, you were still his universe, no matter what. even in the hurt, it was still love)

it’s all wrapped up in pretty lyricism and intricate metaphors to keep the listener guessing for the true meaning, but you’ve always understood him best when it was through song. you think you had forgotten that, after so many years together and knowing him through everything else, but with the music playing through your headphones and the screen of your computer flashing the images in the silence of your apartment, it was like coming back to your roots. like you were in that classroom with a pen and paper and that playground with the chill of spring still warm on your beating hearts and how you’ve known him intimately before you even knew you could.

it all felt so simple, back then. like budding love was all you would ever need, before everything else got in the way, but—no. you stop at the thought. that’s not quite it.

(pause, rewind, play.)

it was always simple to sunwoo. he was a star burning bright and blind to you, growing farther from your reach each passing day, but to him, you were never anything less than the universe itself. was it truly so horrible—bearing attachment to his youth? you were still growing beside him, right? you were the home he wanted to return to, weren’t you?

and yet you were the one who had smeared the paint before it could finish drying, the one who had felt so alone in watching the wear of a bridge you had deemed impossible to save. and at the end of the day, maybe the fault fell partly on both of you, stepping onto that unsteady footing together with the rope of the bridge fraying with the weight of time, but you were the one who had taken that last step to the other end without him even knowing.

lit match in your hands, you had burned that bridge for what you’d perceived to be the greater good, to destroy it before it could collapse and take both of you with it. an act of cowardice disguised as selflessness, you’re left to stare at nothing but the ashes and cinders you had set aflame. but in the wreckage, only after everything do you finally understand what that indiscernible emotion was in his eyes when he looked at you, what he had meant that night by choosing to love you.

in the silence, daylight breaks, your once dark apartment beginning to tinge a soft yellow glow.

(the ground beneath your feet steady, you look to the other end of what once was, carrying the pieces of wood in your hands. if you tried to build that bridge towards sunwoo again, panel by panel, could you rebuild something stronger from the ashes? would sunwoo help if he knew, repairing each step together with you?

you’re not afraid of finding out the answer—not anymore.)

epilogue. (love is gravity.)

the sun rises fully soon after, the sky turning into a brighter, deeper shade of blue as the hour passes. still lingering along the edge of dawn, you know if you looked outside you would see the frost beginning to melt on the blades of grass, the slow trickle of cars onto the road as people were starting to head to work. it’s subtle, the difference between five a.m. and six a.m., but it’s enough for you to feel the shift in the air.

gnawing at your lip, you reach for the phone lying on the table. it’s an aching sense of déjà vu as you unlock your phone and scroll through your contacts, searching for a single name. you can only imagine if this is what sunwoo felt like, the night he’d called you, half-hopeless as you press the phone to your ear, the first dial tone ringing.

(you want to let yourself not hurt anymore—to allow the wound to heal, to finally let go of all the shame inside of you. it’s your first step in trying to repair that bridge you had once burnt down, your first choice where you try to move forward. but sometimes, to move forward is really to move back to where you want to be, back where you belong.)

each additional ring that repeats comes with decreasing expectation, and you brace yourself for the voicemail message that will inevitably come. of course he wouldn’t pick up this early in the morning, you tell yourself, another ring echoing. you wonder if this will become a new pattern, one voicemail to another, always barely missing each other in efforts to reconcile, always a little too late. trading in one bad habit for another, maybe this was just how it was meant to be.

but you suppose it’s always been like this, ever since the night you broke up with him—how sunwoo has been choosing to love you still, even after, and how you’ve been choosing to still love him too by refusing to truly let him go, orbiting around each other like how gravity is both the reason why a planet circles a star and why they can never ever fall into one another (again). perhaps this is just where the frayed edges of fate have left you, coming together only once before your ends are split away forever.

but when the sixth ring sounds and you prepare to hear the automated message, drawing in a breath to scramble together a message to leave at the beep, you hear a single voice instead. your breath hitches.

“hello?”

your lip trembles as you press the phone harder to your ear, heat surging to the bridge of your nose, the back of your eyes. you try to keep your voice steady but it comes out watery instead, words spilling over before you know it. “hi. it’s me.”

and despite everything, gravity fails, just for an instant, and you and sunwoo collide into each other once again.

#sunwoo x reader #tbz x reader #sunwoo fanfic #tbz fanfic #sunwoo angst #the boyz x reader #sunwoo scenarios #tbz scenarios #tbz angst #tbz imagines #sunwoo imagines

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