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#super soon as in ... at the Most maybe three weeks until it starts
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Dick Grayson V Gotham
Chapter 1 - AO3 - Constantine Jr. AU
There were a few minutes every morning, in the dark before dawn when his alarm hadn’t yet rung, where Dick Grayson felt most at peace. Despite the ache in his body the night out as Nightwing, he felt refreshed and content to just rest his eyes until his phone rang and it was time to get ready for the day. 
Unfortunately, peace was never meant to last. 
With a loud crash that definitely woke the neighbors, a little body kicked his door in. A switch was flipped and blinding light filled the room. Dick squinted in the general direction of the intruder. “Get up already!” Danny, his ward, snapped, rushing forward to rip the blankets off his bed. Dick let him. “There’s a case ready for us at the precinct!” 
Dick checked his phone. No missed calls, and Danny didn’t have a phone yet. “Is this another psychic thing?” he asked. 
Danny rolled his eyes. “If I say yes, will you get your ass out of bed already?”
“Language,” he chided absentmindedly, but still got out of bed. Danny glared up at him, still not satisfied, and dragged him to the bathroom with a surprising amount of strength for an 8-year-old. “Huh! You’re really in a hurry today.”
“No, you’re just super slow!”
Dick pulled back against Danny, slowing their progress considerably. “Oh, it’s the age!” Dick bemoaned, draping himself dramatically against the wall. “Now that I have a kid of my own to look after, the years have started to take their toll—Ow!”
Danny glared up at him like he hadn’t just kicked Dick in the shin. Brat. “Be dramatic in your own time! We have a case, Dick, we need to go!”
“Alright, alright, I’m going!” Dick complied and got in the bathroom, saying just before he closed the door, “Make sure you’re dressed in clothes you can afford to lose! I don’t want you to get blood on your favorite jeans again!” Danny shouted back his agreement and finally, Dick was alone. 
As Dick washed his face and did his business, he contemplated how he got there. Honestly, he didn’t get what Bruce was always complaining about; this guardianship thing was going great! It was three weeks since he’d wrangled Danny home, but he’d been preparing for this for months, ever since he learned that the little brat trying to solve murders was homeless. It took months of classes, meetings with CPS, and interviews with friends and family, but Dick was now the proud foster parent of Danny Smith!
Fortunately, Dick had managed to convince Bruce that the foster license was precautionary, like if he needed to protect a minor. Which was what he was doing! So not technically a lie!
Although, Bruce had his hands full already. Some new crime lord had taken up the Joker’s old alias and it was driving the old man up the wall. Bruce had even asked Dick for help on the case last night! He’d said no, of course; he wasn’t just going to abandon Danny in Bludhaven for days while they hunted down Red Hood, and he wasn’t going to spring Danny on Bruce, nor Bruce on Danny. Danny was a flight risk and had expressed disdain for millionaires in the past, and Bruce was… worse than he used to be. Tim had managed to resurrect some of the dad Bruce used to be, but ever since Jason… 
Well, it was good that they wouldn’t be seeing each other any time soon. Maybe by then Tim will have convinced Bruce to go to therapy!
Coming out of the bathroom, Dick started at Danny, dressed in jeans and a Digimon t-shirt, standing on the counter and getting Dick’s lunch bag off the shelf. He cocked an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”
“Packing breakfast to-go!” Danny said, jumping off the counter. Dick’s heart skipped a beat and he lunged forward, but Danny landed before Dick could reach him. He glared at Dick. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” He straightened up, playing it cool. He observed what Danny had laid out for breakfast as he started the coffee machine. A banana, two yogurts, and a handful of granola just poured out onto the table. “You know, you absorb more nutrients when you sit down and actually enjoy your food. And we don’t need lunch to-go. Remember, we talked about this? We have to wait for someone to report the crime first.”
“How do you know no one hasn’t yet?” Danny challenged. 
“Have they?”
“...No. We could report the crime though,” Danny grumbled, but opened a yogurt cup. 
They really couldn’t. If they reported the crime, they’d still have to wait for other officers and CSI before investigating, and that’s even if they were given the case! But more importantly… Dick was the only officer in the department who believed Danny could see ghosts. 
Sure, Commissioner Gonzalez believed Danny, but that was just one woman. As much as he appreciated the Commissioner’s work helping get Danny off the streets and processing the paperwork to ensure the boy got recognition as an official BPD consultant… well, Dick knew she had ties to the gangs in town, he just couldn’t prove it. Just because she liked him and Danny doesn’t make her good. 
The fact that she promoted him to detective was evidence enough. Dick was an amazing detective—like everyone trained by Batman—but normally you’d need a certain number of years and successful cases for that level of promotion, both of which Dick didn’t have. Hell, he’d only been working as a cop for two years! But Danny was only willing to work with Dick… so Dick became the youngest detective in the city. 
The coffee machine sang a little robotic song and Dick placed a Nightwing mug under the spout just in time to catch the stream. As Danny finished his breakfast, Dick shooed him off to go brush his teeth and turned on the TV. He still had thirty minutes before they had to leave for work—
“—taking after his father!” Jack Rider’s voice rang through the apartment. Dick frowned; why was this trash on? “Although I have to say, I don’t think anyone ever expected Richard Grayson to adopt a child of his own!”
Dick froze. What? No, he’d worked so hard to ensure that no one would find out—
A picture flashed on screen of Dick and Danny. Dick recognized it immediately; he’d taken Danny out to eat to celebrate Danny officially becoming his foster child. But that was weeks ago! They’d been sitting on the story for that long?
They didn’t even bother to blur Danny’s face. 
“Now, Jack,” the co-host chided, “Let’s not get too hasty. Our source at Bludhaven PD—who will be unnamed to protect their privacy—said it was only a foster, not an adoption.”
Jack waved her concern away. “Yes, a foster. For now. Don’t you remember how long Richard was Brucie’s ward? Sure, the kid might only be a foster for now, but with this family, adoption is always on the table!”
Turning away from the TV, Dick checked their security cameras on his phone. When he’d first moved in, Babs had hacked into all the cameras in the apartment, piggy-backing off their feeds. There, outside the building’s main entrance, were multiple reporters. Some had even gotten into the building, although their aimless wandering told him that their apartment number hadn’t been leaked yet. 
“Still, another street kid in the family,” Jack continued to muse. “That’s two now for the Waynes, right? Are they going to take off with an entire orphanage next?”
“Dick?”
He locked eyes with Danny, who gave the TV a worried look. But Danny didn’t get worried; he was a cocky, grumpy brat who’d given Dick a heart attack when he dared a gang member to shoot him in the face. But a news story scared him?
Smart kid. Dick was feeling scared too. So, he made the executive decision. 
Dick knelt down to Danny’s height, gently grasping his shoulders. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to call out of work—”
“But Mrs. Bennett’s murder!” came the immediate protest. 
Dick took note of the name, but held up a hand to stop him. “I know, I know. But it’s not safe for us to go to the precinct right now.” Someone at BPD had told the reporters about them. One of his colleagues, pissed that he’d gotten his promotion unfairly? Someone who hated that a little kid solved murders better than them? Or anyone looking to make a quick buck? The possibilities were endless. 
He continued, “Commissioner Gonzalez will understand and help us consult with the case from online, okay? We’ll get sent pictures of the crime scene and you can talk to Mrs. Bennett and we’ll consult from Gotham just to be safe.” He had some PTO he could use, right? If not… Gonzalez could just fire him. He’d already known his co-workers were corrupt assholes, but to willingly put a child in danger was a step too far. If Gonzalez wanted to keep Dick—and therefore, Danny—she’d better clean house. 
Danny made a face. “Why Gotham?”
“That’s where my family lives! While we wait for the story to die down, I’ll introduce you to my grandfather, Alfred, and my brother Tim, and my friend, Barbra! I’ll show you around to all the fun spots, it’ll be fun! So go get packed, buddy.”
Hesitating in the doorway, Danny said, “They won’t listen to me. The other officers aren’t like you.”
“They will listen to you. I’ll make them,” Dick promised. He’d gathered enough blackmail on his fellow detectives to force the issue, if needs be. He ruffled Danny’s hair. “Don’t worry, Danny. It’ll just be for a week or two and then everything will be back to normal. I promise.”
Danny glared at him, batting his hand away. “I’ll keep you to that promise, old man.”
As Danny retreated to his room—Dick’s former workout room—to pack, Dick went to his own, closing and locking the door behind him. The call to Gonzalez went about as well as he was expecting: first her anger at him taking time off, then his anger about being sold out to the media, then Gonzalez swearing as she found the news online, until finally agreement. 
As they talked, Dick methodically packed away his Nightwing gear. After last night, where a slime meta had unceremoniously caked his suit in gunk that would not come out, he had two functioning suits: his back-up and his original that he kept for sentimental value. He packed all three, along with his gear. Maybe Alfred would be able to get the gunk out? But he couldn’t leave his things here. Their location was already compromised. If reporters decided the risk was worth it, they could break into his apartment and turn the whole place upside down looking for a story. 
So, Dick had to take the story with him. 
With all his gear packed, there was little room for personal belongings, so he did the best he could and only took the important things. His room at the manor still had a few changes of clothes. Fortunately Danny wasn’t a nosy kid, otherwise he’d never be able to get away with carrying his Nightwing gear in a normal duffel bag like this. 
Now, the hard part. 
The phone rang three times before it was picked up. “Master Richard.” Alfred’s icy tone made him wince. Oh, he already knew. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Hey, Alfie…” Dick rubbed the back of his neck. “I just wanted to say that I decided I can help Bruce on that Red Hood case after all?”
“I see.” No matter how angry Alfred was, he was frighteningly polite. “And shall I prepare a second bedroom for your ward?”
Dick winced. “That would be great, Alfred. Thank you.”
“Then I will see you soon. And please inform the young master that I look forward to meeting him when you both arrive.”
“I’ll tell him. He’s been looking forward to meeting you; I’ve been talking up your cooking for months now.”
“Months?” Oh no. “How kind of you, Master Grayson.” It got worse. Alfred was pissed now. Why did he have to say months? It wasn’t like Dick had intentionally hidden Danny from his family; he was just hiding him from Bruce! He wanted some privacy and to figure things out himself! But now Alfie was mad and suddenly that privacy didn’t seem so important anymore. “Shall I assume you’ll be arriving soon then?”
“In around an hour.” Leaving his room, he checked on Danny. He was trying to back everything he owned into the suitcase Dick had bought him. “Maybe a little longer? I’ll call when we’re ten minutes away.” 
“Then I will see you soon, Master Grayson.”
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wileys-russo · 3 months
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childhood sweethearts (13) II a.russo x reader
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playlist one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve
childhood sweethearts (13) II a.russo x reader
the next few weeks seemed to pass by in a blur and before you knew it you'd blinked and it was the end of the month already.
you and alessia went from only texting when you needed something to texting every day, and then calling most nights if you weren't together, speaking about everything and nothing for hours, stomachs often aching from how hard you'd make one another laugh.
you appreciated the way she seemed genuinely interested in your job, asking questions and listening along intently as you recounted your days.
it surprised you to learn that if she wasn't a footballer she might have pursued teaching, though some of the horror stories you'd spun her about your time at uni and on placement steered her well away from that.
your heart warmed seeing how good she was with the kids when she did the friday football program, well all of the arsenal girls were, and with the program a raging success an agreement had been made between the arsenal academy and the school to offer discounted holiday programs for during the break.
you'd gone to see every single one of her games since the last, alessia's heart bursting to see you sat up with her family every weekend with her jersey on and her last name across your shoulders cheering her on just like old times.
and you were even learning to actually enjoy the game, though thats not to say you still wouldn't groan and complain when alessia would flick on a premier league game to watch after dinner occasionally.
her brothers had relentlessly teased her for it but she brushed them off, trying not to take to heart the jokes that if she didn't lock you down soon someone else might beat her to it.
neither of you had dared to broach that conversation just yet.
her mum was thrilled to see how close the two of you had become again, her parents picking you up most games or taking you out for a drink with them all beforehand, and always inviting you to family dinners afterwards.
and in turn your own mum insisted on both of your families coming together again like old times, and it filled you with joy to see how much time she spent with carol once more.
with the short distance between both of your apartments it seemed to become a routine of sorts that every couple of days one of you would drop by to see the other.
nights were spent taking turns cooking for one another, watching movies or sometimes just talking for hours until you'd both realise the time and need to hurry back home.
alessia had been wanting to ask you to stay the night for a little while now, but not wanting to push things too early on and just enjoying your company in anyway she could she'd hold her tongue every time you'd start to pack your things back up to leave.
but you'd always be sure to walk one another home which inevitably ended in the two of you kissing goodnight, and unbeknownst to alessia every single time you did you had to hold your own tongue not to ask her to stay.
you were yet to put a label on anything, and most of your 'dates' seemed to consist of cosy nights in, nothing super fancy or high maintenance.
you'd not clocked any sort of issue with it either, having known the girl for years it seemed almost silly to even feel the need to go out, much preferring how comfortable the two of you were around one another now you were both clearly trying to get things back on track.
well you didn't see an issue, not until rory opened her mouth one afternoon.
"wait you've not gone out? watching movies together or cooking dinner isn't a date!" your best friend rolled her eyes from where she lounged on your bed, having come over to help you with your quarterly closet clean out.
"anything can be a date if its with the right person!" you argued, holding up a dress to your body as her eyes narrowed and she pointed to the keep pile. "maybe once you're actually dating, but last time i checked the two of you were still dancing around that big question!" you blushed a little at her words and threw a cardigan at her.
"oh this is cute! can i have this?" you chuckled but nodded as she dropped it into the 'rory' pile which you knew was mainly the only reason she'd offered her 'help'.
"but anyway. if its classed as a 'date' it needs to be a bit more than just the two of you lounging about one of your apartments, thats just hanging out and one could argue that would be something strictly platonic!" rory pointed as you sighed at her dramatics.
"we make out, thats not platonic." you shot back with a glare as she ooohed. "and do you braid each others hair and swap secrets too?" the girl cooed as you threw a heel at her head causing her to shriek.
"sorry ro and how many relationships have you been in? oh just one? shut up!" you flipped her off and turned back to your clothes. "okay if anything its because i am in a long term committed happy and healthy relationship i can call this behavior out." rory started, pushing herself to sit up more.
"the two of you are acting like a) just best friends hanging out, or b) an old married couple. neither of which i know you want to be! you're both in your early twenties you should be going out and spending time together doing fun stuff! not curled up watching the same movies you've loved since you were teenagers. at least go to the cinema and see something so you leave the house!" rory tossed a pillow at you which you side stepped.
"so what i should ask her out to do something then?" you asked with a small frown, playing with the sleeves of your hoodie, which was actually alessia's hoodie. "yes! do exactly that. not that i can really blame you for not wanting to go anywhere super public with her but theres loads of stuff you can do to get around that." rory shrugged.
"what do you mean you can't blame me for not wanting to go anywhere super public with her?" you questioned with an air of confusion. "well because she's a fucking celebrity you head case!" rory laughed at you.
that took you off guard as you paused your sorting, moving to take a seat on the edge of the bed with a frown. "well shes not really a celebrity, shes not like an actor or anything." you challenged more so for your own sake.
"please! elite athletes can be just as famous as actors or singers or whatever, if anything even more so because they're more relatable to the general public. for god sakes she's won the euros and made the finals of a world cup you idiot!" another pillow smacked you in the side of the head as you shot the girl a glare.
"she also does sponsorships, ads, she's a branded athlete with adidas, she has a management agency, she's on a professional contract with a huge salary no doubt, and she plays on a global stage for fucking england!" rory ticked off on her fingers with a scoff.
"well yeah but-" you fell quiet at that, head ticking over as it dawned on you that rory was right. "come on just look at her instagram! as if you don't notice the thousands of people obsessing over her." rory chuckled pulling out her phone.
"i hardly use it! case in point you have to text me to like your posts." you rolled your eyes as rory moved to lay down shoving her phone in your face.
"see? she's got like nearly a million followers and look at how many people interact with her posts. she probably gets like a hundrd dm's a day of randoms asking her out, maybe even from other celebrities!" rory laughed nudging her shoulder into you.
"see she met david fucking beckham and it looks like he's the fan in the picture!" rory gasped clicking into one of alessia's more recent posts.
you knew rory didn't mean anything bad by all of this but as you scrolled through the hundreds on hundreds of comments on alessia's posts you chest tightened with an uncomfortable anxiety you'd not felt before.
"god and then theres tiktok and twitter and whatever else. i liked one video about less and it took me days to get rid of the edits of her on my feed." rory shook her head with a grin, grabbing back her phone off you and switching apps.
"see?" she searched up alessias name on tiktok and your eyes widened even further as she scrolled through the hundreds of edits. "jesus christ she is a celebrity." you exhaled, pushing rorys phone away and collapsing onto your back, moving so your head rested on your best friends thigh.
"well duh, what did you think? she's that same little ten year old playing for the school team with all the boys?" "no! i hadn't really thought about it is all. to me she's just...well she's just alessia."
"and that is very sweet of you but also very naive. i don't know how i'd cope if jack was getting that many girls in his comments, thank god he's just a measly banker." rory joked but at her teasing words you felt a stabbing sensation at your chest.
"but hey what have you got to worry about? all they can do is wish, you've already got the girl." rory shrugged tapping on your forehead as you simply hummed, caught up in your head.
did you have nothing to worry about?
~
you looked up from the pan of vegetables you were frying off hearing a knock at your door, lowering the heat and quickly washing your hands.
"hi lessi." you greeted the blonde as you pulled open the door, stepping aside as she hurried in, the weather below zero this week as she shivered.
"hello, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." alessia sighed happily, your lips meeting sweetly as she pulled your body into hers. "mm no one more." the blonde grinned pecking your lips a few more times making you smile.
"dinners almost done. how was training?" you left her to unravel herself from her many layers as you returned to the kitchen, hearing her join you shortly after.
"this morning? yeah it was good! nutmegged leah like ten times, she was fuming." alessia grinned taking a seat at the bench. "thats when you kick it through someones legs right?" you asked, moving the sauce off the heat.
"sure is, look whose learning. maybe we can get you into a sunday league team next!" alessia winked teasingly as you playfully rolled your eyes. "yeah you'd love that wouldn't you." you grabbed her out a bottle of water from the fridge.
"then i had a shoot this afternoon for adidas, that was fun. i just get awkward in front of the camera but the photographer was really nice!" alessia shrugged casually, taking a long swig of water as you hummed, that weird feeling from yesterday returning as you tried to push it away.
"one to ten, how hungry?" you questioned, two bowls in front of you as you grabbed the rice, having made a stir fry.
"mmm like a six? had a late lunch, some meeting with some magazine about some article. luca said we probably won't go forward with it, they've got a reputation for twisting peoples words to create drama that isn't there." alessia recounted as you again only hummed, a slight frown on your face as you dished up.
"thank you gorgeous." the taller girl leaned in to kiss you in appreciation as you handed her the bowl, eyebrows furrowing a little as you turned your head so her lips met your cheek instead.
brushing it off assuming you were probably just tired after a long week she followed after you into the living room. "no!" you warned as she went to sit on the lounge, lowering herself instead to the floor with a roll of her eyes.
"it was one time." the blonde huffed with a pout as you handed her a small handful of napkins, having knocked over a bowl of soup all over your lounge last week. "one time was enough." you smiled taking a seat beside her.
"get a dining table then and we wouldn't have this problem." alessia pinched your cheek as you mocked her and flicked on the tv. "less!" you complained as she plucked the remote from your fingers, flipping channels.
"nooo." you groaned in realization as she put on a mens game, manchester united playing against some other team you didn't know, only recognising the familiar uniform of the russo's childhood team.
"yesss." alessia mocked happily, sighing as she placed a mouthful of stir fry in. "this is really really good, thank you baby." the girl kissed your cheek again as a comfortable silence fell between the two of you as you ate.
it was during this time that alessia picked up maybe there was something going on with you. normally you'd spend the entire game either making comments, asking questions, complaining about how long halves were or teasing her for 'yelling at the players like they can hear you'.
but long after the two of you had finished eating you were still quiet, eyes not even on the tv as you seemed a little lost in your own world. "hey." you snapped out of it as a warm hand squeezed your knee, looking up into a pair of concerned bright blue orbs.
"you alright?" alessia asked, hand still on your knee as you nodded. "i'm fine babe." you forced a tight lipped smile, gently pushing off her hand and grabbing your empty bowls. alessia watched you go with a frown, now almost certain something was going on for you.
initially she didn't want to force it out of you, but as you both sat up on the sofa now and you subtly shuffled a little further away from her alessia couldn't hold her tongue any longer.
"you don't want to finish it? they're up by two!" you frowned at her as she turned the tv off, turning her body to face you. "i know you said you're fine, but i can tell somethings up." alessia started, reaching out for you as you flinched away.
"see! have i done something?" the girl asked as worry flashed across her face and you shook your head. "no no its just-" you struggled to get out your words, groaning and dragging your hands down your face.
"fucking rory." you muttered cursing out your best friend for causing this swirling sea of doubt in your mind. "you're fucking rory?" alessia misunderstood, pulling her hands back with a frown as again you shook your head.
"no! god no, disgusting." you pulled a face of disgust as alessia breathed out in relief. "its not something you've done, well not...directly?" you winced as the frown returned to the strikers face. "i don't understand."
"okay, well can i ask you something?" "of course." "do you consider yourself a celebrity?"
"thats...a loaded question." alessia exhaled as she thought it over. "i don't personally think about myself in that way but i can see why i'd be perceived that way." alessia answered after a moment to contemplate.
"but why do you ask?" alessia asked both concerned and curious as to where this was coming from. "its stupid." you huffed, falling down onto your back as alessia grabbed your ankles, pulling your legs to rest over your lap, relaxing when you made no move to pull away.
"if its bothering you its not stupid, please." the striker requested softly as you sighed. "well rory was talking to me about how its weird we don't ever go out on dates, and then she made some comment about understanding why i wouldn't want to because you're a celebrity." you paused as alessia nodded for you to continue.
"then she showed me your instagram and tiktok and there was just so many comments and i promise i don't dismiss any of your achievements but i guess i never really took a moment to realise just how many other people appreciated them too." you frowned as everything rolled through your mind.
"see! its stupid. of course you're going to get thousands of comments and fans and edits, you're an international football superstar." you threw your hands up, cheeks burning up a little.
"you jealous of all the fangirls love?" alessia teased as insecurity flashed across your face and she quickly realised that was the wrong thing to say.
"hey no i'm sorry, look at me." soft hands grabbed yours and tugged you to sit up. "first of all, its not stupid." alessia promised sincerely, eyes not leaving yours.
"but it is something we have to speak about, and probably should have already spoken about." alessia sighed in realisation, taking your hands into hers again. "social media is...complicated. people think they know me or i owe them something just because im a public figure." alessia started with a frown.
"every little thing i post gets picked apart whether its of me, a holiday, a place, a friend, my family, anything. people find out which cafes i go to for coffee and show up there hoping to see me, follow me to restaurants when i post im out eating with friends, take sneaky videos when im out in public and post them. it can get very invasive and a lot of people have no concept of privacy or boundaries!" alessia warned as you nodded slowly.
"so i guess if we..." alessia gestured between the two of you with a wince as you nodded to show you understood what she was saying. "...then thats something you'll have to know is there. its not going away, if anything the more tournaments i play in, ads i do, sponsors i get, interviews, articles, club trophies, the attention and the fans and the eyes will grow." alessia spoke firmly, still keeping a hold on your hands.
"but i'm not trying to scare you, i just need you to know that its there. i would always do my best to protect you but some things are out of my hands and out of my control, i can't stop what people think, post, say, much as i wish i could." alessia sighed, bringing your hand up to her mouth to kiss your palm.
"please say something." alessia laughed but it was clearly full of nerves, her face falling as you gently pulled your hands out of hers. "its just, this is all very new. i know you're still you, but i guess the thought of having thousands of people all watching everything you do and picking it apart or obsessing over you and wanting you in comments is overwhelming." you admitted, biting your bottom lip as alessia nodded.
"i know. it overwhelms me too but i promise like you said i'm still me, none of this changes that. and if anything ever bothers you like this please just come talk to me about it, i will always listen." alessia promised, relief flooding her body as took her hands again.
"thank you. i'm sorry for being a downer!" you smiled apologetically as the blonde hurriedly shook her head. "never. but you also did raise another very good point!" alessia started as you tilted your head curiously.
"as much as i love our dinners and movies, we've not really been out on a proper date. so can i please take you out on friday night? i'll be at the school for the program anyway so we could go out right after or we could come back and get ready or we could-" you cut her off as you pressed your lips to hers, silencing her worried rambles.
"i'd love to go out on friday lessi."
~
"someones popular today." you bumped your shoulder into alessias as she broke away from your students who'd been clinging to her all afternoon, leah now running a game as she started to break them up into smaller groups.
"i like kids but i do not know how you deal with all the questions! an angel of patience." alessia sighed bumping you back with a smile. "just an angel in general." you teased, catching the girls eyes quickly flicker down to your lips momentarily.
"excuse me miss russo we are in a professional environment, behave yourself." you warned, kissing her cheek quickly when no one was looking and walking off to calm a small argument which had broken out over team names.
"saw that russo." the smile couldn't even be wiped off alessia's face at katies teasing, the irishwoman standing where you previously had as she poked and prodded at the younger girl.
"so when are you bringing your girlfriend to a team night out then?" katie sung out with a grin. "she's not my girlfriend." alessia sighed, smile dropping as katie frowned. "oh, well no one to blame but yourself there. i see the way she looks at you! smitten." the girl clapped her on the back.
"i want to its just, we've got a complicated history." alessia mumbled with a frown. "ah! who doesn't. all ya can do is not repeat past mistakes. i know none of my exes would turn up to a bar to come pick me up wasted out of nowhere!" katie reminded as alessia winced recalling that night.
"god don't remind me, never again." alessia exhaled with a shake of her head. "well then get your girl russo! you'll never know until ya ask." katie shrugged.
"we're going out tonight, i'm gonna take her to that little darts bar its pretty quiet and i think i freaked her out the other day with the whole thousands of fans thing." alessia then explained the conversation you'd had.
"mm yeah, not something i can offer ya any advice on there less. i've always dated the famous ones!" katie winked jokingly, jogging off as the whistle blew.
"did i hear darts bar tonight? i'll tell the girls!" alessia's head whipped around as beth stood behind her, racing off toward leah before alessia could say another word, the girl throwing her head back with a groan.
"alessia! you're on our team!" she was snapped out of it by small hands gripping at her shorts and shirt, tugging her onto the field as she met your eyes on the other side of the oval, a smile sent her way before you returned to your conversation with your coworker.
it wasn't for another hour that alessia was finally able to track you down alone again, and by this time beth had spread the word and the plan was made, far too late for alessia to say a word as katie gave her a sympathetic look.
"hey! can we talk for a second?" you looked up from speaking with chloe, wishing her a good weekend as she walked off and you nodded, gesturing for her to follow after you back into your classroom.
"did you drive here?" you asked as alessia took a seat on top of one of the desks as you started to pack up yours. "no leah gave me a lift."
"perfect, i'll drop you home and then we can get ready separately. i assume you'll want to drive tonight though?" you smiled teasingly, it being no surprise that alessia preferred to be the driver of the two of you.
"look about tonight-" alessia started, watching as you paused, worry flashing across your face for a moment. "i'm not cancelling." the blonde was quick to assure you as you visibly relaxed a litte.
"we just might need to change the plan? beth kind of overheard me talking to katie about it and then assumed it was a group thing and invited a bunch of the girls and its hardly a date if my entire team is there too and-" alessia started to ramble.
"less!" you cut her off as her face blushed red. "i don't mind if the others are there, really. i know you were excited to show me this place, maybe we could just get dinner somewhere else together and then meet them there later?" you suggested as her face lit up.
"yes! god your mind is brilliant." the striker pushed herself up off the desk, her body suddenly pressing yours against your own desk. "well they don't just pay me for my good looks here." you teased, again catching her eyes flicker down to your lips.
"we're still in a professional environment." alessia stated as if to remind herself more than you. "mm i guess i'm off the clock now, its after four." you grinned, hands falling to clasp either side of her face.
"you know i never thought i'd be kissing a teacher in a classroom." alessia tutted, lips curling into a smile as you let out a laugh. "didn't realise this was something you were into? didn't peg you as someone with a teacher kink." you teased, closing the gap between the two of you.
"only if the teacher is you." alessia mumbled against your lips, hands squeezing your hips as you let out a small laugh, pulling away and hugging her tightly, chin resting on her shoulder.
"i'm gonna miss when this program is over. next term its dancing instead of football!" you groaned quietly, feeling her body vibrate with laughter against yours.
"are you trying to dance with me right now?" you laughed as she started to sway the two of you back and forth. "yeah can't you hear the music? would be rude not to." alessia accused sarcastically, pulling you forward a little and taking your hand.
"i seem to remember you used to be a terrible dancer, two left feet." you grinned as she adjusted your hands, one interlocking with hers as the other rested on your hip, yours on the small of her back.
"hey thats not true!" alessia huffed, eyebrows furrowing in offence. "yes it was, remember when you tried to learn the tango to win a bet and-" you were cut off as her lips pressed against yours again. "we promised never to speak of that again." the girl warned mid kiss, starting to dance with you again.
"oh less!" you winced as suddenly she stepped on your foot, eyes widening as she let go of you and stepped back, but her foot catching on the desk she went flying to the ground.
like a domino effect as her body smacked into one of the desks it toppled over, taking down the entire row as alessia winced each time one hit the ground. a moment of silence passed before your body dropped down to the floor, clutching your stomach as waves of laughter ran through you.
"its not funny!" alessia groaned, though after a moment even she couldn't hold back her laughter, the two of you eventually laid down on the floor unable to stop, wiping away small tears which formed as you tried to calm down.
"oh wow, did your students do that?" alessia gasped as she looked up and saw the galaxy of stars all over the roof once the two of you finally calmed a little.
"no i did, makes it way easier to get them to calm down after lunch sometimes. i turn all the lights off and draw the blinds, then i get them all to pick a star and stand under it, close their eyes count to ten and make a wish for the future. works nearly every time!" you smiled fondly, alessia stealing a glance at you.
"its cool the school lets you decorate like this, i wish our classrooms were this colourful and lively. i might have actually paid attention!" alessia shrugged as you kicked her gently. "you did pay attention, just to my work so you could copy off of it." you poked her with a smirk.
"they give us some freedom just no budget, almost all of this is self funded." you explained as alessia's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "wait really?"
"yeah, a lot of the stuff needed to actually run a cohesive program isn't deemed as so. like name tags, the reading books, plants, most of the stationary, the posters, all bought by me. then activities like when we have snacks on movie days, end of term pizza parties, none of thats covered by the department either." you shrugged as if it was no big deal.
"wait so you personally buy all that stuff?" alessia asked in disbelief as you nodded. "well yeah, just because the department doesn't think these kids need this stuff doesn't mean they don't deserve it. a public school education shouldn't set them back on resources and opportunities compared to a private one just because of money, i like to think im doing my bit to mend the gap when i can." you looked back up to the ceiling with a smile.
"what was that for?" you laughed as alessia quickly pecked your lips. "because teachers deserve more money. but i can't help that so i figured a kiss was the next best thing!" alessia grinned cheekily as you grabbed her shirt, pulling her mouth back to meet yours again.
though as she pushed herself up and moved to hover over you, you leapt away from one another at the sound of someone clearing their throat.
but both of you sighed in relief as you realised it was only leah who stood with a smirk and a bunch of flowers in her hand. "sorry to interrupt. but less left these in my car and i wouldn't want to steal them from their rightful recipient." leah spoke as the striker hurried to her feet.
a silent conversation seeming to be had between the two blondes through a series of facial expressions alessia accepted the flowers and leah sent you a smile before leaving, closing the door after her.
"for you." alessia blushed bright red as you stood, accepting them with your own cheeks tinted rosy pink. "they're beautiful." you swooned, placing them on your desk and pulling her into a tight hug.
"well beautiful girls deserve beautiful things."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
fourteen
582 notes · View notes
livingemkayde · 8 months
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strange
din djarin x f!reader | 3.1k
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↳ warnings: this is rated for 18+ only! minors, please do not interact. smut, unprotected pinv, fingering f!recieving, mentions of oral m!recieving, fluff, no use of y/n. let me know if i forgot anything.
↳ a /n: hey everyone. taking a small break from my joel miller fics and coming back to my roots with this one. just needed a break and this was a super fun one shot to write. gonna post the final chapter to chaser really soon. thanks for all the support!! i love you all smsm.
if you would like to read more of mine: masterlist!
“Say it.”  You started breathing heavy. And you knew, when he tugged you around to look down at you, a hand coming to grasp your shoulder, the part where it meets your neck. You knew what he wanted, and you bit the bullet. “Teach me.”
It's honestly quite strange, if you really think about it—which oftentimes, you try not to. 
You wait for him, and he always comes back. Always. Maybe this was the dreaded exception that will turn his perfect ten times out of ten he always comes back, to nine times out of ten he always comes back. 
You sit there, in the hull, with the kid. Approaching the three week mark since your warrior left. 
You remember seeing him out of the Crest, several feet from where you sit now. 
“Be good,” he whispered to the little one, and placed him in your arms. 
“And be safe,” he said to you, almost in a stern voice, his hands brushing yours when he passed the child to your arms. 
“Be smart,” he emphasized, a little too serious for your liking. 
Be smart, above all else. You knew what it meant. Don’t be a hero, use your better judgment. He always does that. 
Be good… be safe…be smart. 
Then he always pats your waist, feeling the blaster’s outline through the fabric of your dress. And he always gives you a curt nod, and rubs a leather thumb over your hip. A small touch, in passing. Maybe most people wouldn’t even think twice about it. But you do. It’s the only thing getting you through sleepless nights. 
It is strange. You finally decide in your head. 
The small agreement between you two. 
The Crest is mostly quiet.
Besides when the fresher makes that gurgling sound, or the exhaust sends a violent huff of air through the hull, or when the small moans coming from your own mouth split through the silence. 
You guys don’t, under any circumstances, speak about it. 
You wouldn’t even know what to say, honestly. 
You remember the first time, when you had gotten a little too brave with your words and he was getting a little too comfortable around you.
“Teach me how,” you said. The hull was dark but not pitch black and the kid was locked in his pram in the cockpit. 
“You don’t know how to shoot a blaster?”
“No.” you reached over, grabbing his own from the crate between you. You held it up to the dim light and examined the markings. The rough edge of gunpowder. The shiny bits where his fingers lie. 
“Teach me,” you said again, pointing the blaster at an imaginary person to the left of him.
“You’re drunk,” he remarked. His gruff tone made your thighs shift closer together. 
“‘M not drunk,” you bit back. He shuffled in his crate until he was more comfortable. 
“You don’t know how to hold your liquor,” he pointed out. Resting his elbows on his thighs. You looked at him in the dark light. The yellow of the small bulb turned his helmet golden. 
You weren’t drunk. It was the truth. The spotchka only made your tongue loose, not your mind. 
“And I don’t know how to shoot a blaster,” you said, “what if someone broke in, and I needed to—”
“Don’t,” he said. Not mad, only scared of the possibility. You only know that now.
You stayed quiet, and continued to feel the weight of his weapon in your hand. He contemplated for a little, weighing the options in his mind, tossing the idea around inside the helmet. 
“What the hell,” he surrendered, standing and motioning towards the hull’s entrance, “C’mon.” 
You had followed him quickly, finding your place next to him on desert sands. 
“Hold it—” he said, pushing the blaster into your hands and raising your arms to the perfect distance, “—there.”
He stood behind you. You felt the cold bite of beskar brush against your back. Your breath hitched, so did his. 
“Don’t put your index finger on the trigger unless you want to shoot,” he said, moving your finger from the small flexed piece of metal and to the side of the blaster. 
“But I do want to shoot,” you said, tossing him a look over your shoulder. He grovels behind you. 
“Until the very second you want to shoot,” he muttered. “Got it?” 
“Yeah,” you said, looking at the weapon, almost transfixed by the way his hand holds yours. 
He reached down your body, by your waist, and touched you there, ever so gently. Your tense muscles made him hesitate. 
“‘S’okay,” you whispered, worried that if you said anything more it would scare him off forever. 
He didn’t say anything, just adjusted the angle of your hips and shifted the weight of your body. To your backfoot. 
“There,” he said, when he finally got you into the position he deemed fit. 
“Are you sure this thing’s not going to kick back and rip my arm off?” you whispered into the night sky. 
“It will—kick back. It was made for me, you’re too small. But I’ll—” he hesitated again. “I’ll hold you. If that’s okay.”
You couldn’t bring yourself to speak, just nod. So he held you, wrapped his arm around your waist, and you tensed up all the same. And his breath picked up behind you. 
You shot, and missed the scrap by a few feet, the plasma went down into the sandy ground and burned a hole there. 
“Dammit,” you mumbled. He didn’t let go. 
“Try again,” he said, touching you again, touching you more, and wringing your arms back up to firing position. 
“Farming was easier,” you joked, thinking about your previous job. 
“I’m sure it was,” he quips back, “Relax.” 
You tried, you really did. But he could feel that you couldn’t relax. Your tense muscles were taut under the leather of his gloves. 
“Sorry,” you whispered, maybe it was the spotchka talking this time, or maybe you really were sorry but you let it slip into the dark, humid air—
“No one’s ever…” 
No one’s ever touched you. Not like that. You wanted to say. 
He stayed quiet for a bit, not moving your body to the perfect position or teasing you. You remember feeling sick. 
But then he surprised you, and it was like breathing in fresh air for the first time after months of hyperspace. 
“Really?” he asked behind you, into your ear. Your eyebrows staggered and a line of elevens appeared between them. 
“Yeah,” you said, in a breathless kind of way. “Guess I never really got around to learning that one,” you tried to tease but he remained so quiet, so still, you had to push out a forced laugh. 
“Do you want to learn?” he said. Almost like he was not even really offering but just inquiring. 
But that little part of his voice, maybe, under all the modulation, told you otherwise. And you knew this wasn’t the spotchka talking. You were fighting a losing battle because that was all you, and months of pining after a faceless man who smells like pinewood, and gets your favorite snacks from the market, and makes you caf in the mornings—
“Yes,” you breathed out. 
A pregnant, tense, silence enveloped you. He was still behind you, and he still had his arm wrapped around you. Even when the arm holding the blaster dropped, he still had his arm there, holding your waist, and slowly dragging the heaviness of his hand down, down, downward. 
“Say it.” 
You started breathing heavy.
And you knew, when he tugged you around to look down at you, a hand coming to grasp your shoulder, the part where it meets your neck.
You knew what he wanted, and you bit the bullet.
“Teach me.”
So you guys don’t ever talk about it. 
In fact, you don’t really talk at all. Your invitation meant he showed you—taught you—in silent actions. He doesn’t talk when you fuck. The only sounds filling the silence are your desperate moans and the occasional whimper when he’s being particularly withholding. 
He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t really make a sound. You’d be lying if the quiet, if the mask of him paired with his warmth didn’t make you dizzy, didn’t make you unravel in his hands. 
Because it did. 
But sometimes you’d wish he would say something, anything. Break the silence. Break up your wanton moans and just give you anything to work with. But you presume he doesn’t really do this often, and having him like that is better than having nothing at all. 
You shut the closure and push away the bassinet when you hear a clang! from outside the hull. 
You find your blaster under the fabric of your dress. You’ve never had to do this before. And you’re honestly scared. That night you begged him to teach you how to shoot, it was a secret hidden plea, maybe even flirting. You never thought you’d be the only thing separating the kid from possible danger. 
“C’mon, Mando,” you whisper to no one in particular. Maybe the maker. 
And then, suddenly, the ramp to the hull lowers and you raise the blaster, just like he taught you. 
The business end comes face to face with a shiny helmet and you let out a sigh of relief, dropping it to your side. 
His head cocks to the side like he’s saying, really?
You just stand, breathless, and push the kid’s pram up into the cockpit so Mando can get the bounty in safely. 
He’s dragging it behind him, deadweight and you gulp back an anxious breath. 
When he’s done, he turns to you. Looking at the blaster in your hands. 
His head tips again—really…?
“Yes, okay?” you say, throwing your hands up, shoving the blaster into his chest. It lands there with a small thunk!
“Three weeks, Mando. You were gone almost a month. I thought— I —,” you say, running your hands through your hair. 
“He knew how to hide,” is all he says, and that makes you laugh. The possibility of it all, the what if, leaving your body with a tense laughter at his sorry excuse of a joke. 
He grabs you then, suddenly, pulling you towards his chest. You know the routine. You both miss each other after longer hunts, even if you never say anything about it. Never say anything at all in fact. 
Din’s grabbing at your shirt, moving it up. And grabbing at your pants, moving them down. You pull at his chestplate, and his pauldrons, anything you can find. But he’s desperate. Way too desperate. This time, things feel different. 
You moan when his now ungloved fingers find wet cotton. He pulls them down too. 
He holds you, forcing you to look up at him while his calloused fingers find your swollen clit. You jump, yelp, whimper. He stays stoic. Though, this time, you can hear his heavy breathing. 
You both find the bunk, somehow. And instead of flipping you over, so you’re on your stomach, taking it like that and pushing your head down into the mattress, he leaves you on your back. You question him silently with your eyes but he doesn’t say anything—like always.
He just cups you again, feeling the growing wetness there, almost pushing a finger in, inching to the first knuckle but then he backs away and you whine. 
But he reaches down, pulls himself out of his pants and spreads your slick all over the velvety softness of his own length. It makes you gasp. 
You spread your legs for him, subconsciously. The red tip of his head looks at you menacingly. He’s big. He’s always been big, but you’re not afforded to look at his length often unless you go down on him, which is rare. 
Din climbs over you, a warm hand comes to grasp your tit and you swallow breathless moans in the back of your throat. His helmet shines golden, like all those nights before. The first night. Where he taught you that a man surrounded by beskar can be so soft, maybe even loving. 
When you start squirming, he notches his tip at your entrance, you freeze waiting for him to sink in, but he holds you there. You just whine in response. 
You grab at him, desperate. Pulling him in. To your surprise, he obliges. He sinks in, almost all the way, until you clench around him so tight he freezes. Your gasp at air. It feels like your brain is foggy and all you can see behind your blinking vision is his black visor. 
He sinks in more, you clench around him more. Three weeks is the longest you’ve gone without having him since the first night all those months ago. 
He stays there, while you try to relax around him. Just breathing under the modulation. You can hear him more clearly now, face to face. 
You have never fucked Din like this. 
Not face to face. Not with him waiting for you, not with such a tight fit. Aside from that fateful first time. 
You clench around him again. You moan again, into his space, into the small, tight, crampedness of the bunk. 
“Shit.”
You freeze. You don’t look into his visor, not right away. You lay there, frozen, with his hard cock notched halfway inside you. 
His hands tighten on your waist and you both wait there, with shallow panting breath. 
When you look up at him, he’s motionless. You might be worried that he’s turned to stone. But you plead him with your eyes—whatever you want to do, talk more, fuck me harder, stop right now and never speak of it, just — do it. 
And for a split second, it does cross your mind that he might pull out or maybe even kick you out. But that little part deep down inside you likes to think it might be different this time. That he really might utter another forbidden word or fuck you harder. 
The thought makes you clench around him again. 
To your surprise he moans a little. Something small, barely there. Almost like a — ngh from deep under modulation. But you hear it. And the sick part of you clenches around him again just to draw out something more. 
“Relax,” he huffs. It almost sounds loud, despite his whispering. But you know that’s just because he’s never done this. Never spoken when so close to you. Never spoken while he’s inside you.
You don’t even register the content of his words, just the sound of him making you tense up again. 
“Fuck,” he breathes, his helmet comes down to rest beside your head. He stays there, folded over your body. You’re still so tense it almost hurts. 
“Sorry,” you whisper out. Your voice is hoarse from lack of use the past couple of weeks combined with your panting breath. You don’t really know what else to say. 
He moves suddenly, bringing his hand down between your bodies and touches your inner thigh, inching up towards where his coarse hair almost meets your swollen clit. 
“I said relax,” he mumbles, his thumb touching your clit ever so slightly. Your hips buck and he pushes them down again. 
“Sorry,” you repeat. He just hums.
You don’t really know what to do. This is different. This is new. You wait for him to set the pace. Establish the rules. 
He starts circling your clit, he rubs through your lips to find wetness there. You try to relax into the mattress and as you do, he inches further into you. Breaking you open, splitting you in two. 
“C’mon,” he groans when you let him sink further, “Open up for me, baby,”
It eggs you on. He’s never done this, let alone call you anything besides your name. It sends a shooting pleasure to the point he keeps rubbing under his thumb and he can feel it. How you get impossibly wet and open around him until he finally sinks in to the hilt. 
“Fuck, Din,” you moan out, when he starts thursting. 
He’s groaning. You can hear it, under his breath. You feel lightheaded almost, though, it’s good to know being apart affects him in the same way. Makes him as desperate as you feel. 
You’re close then, his sounds inching you towards that white light dancing across your vision. You clench around him and he moans again. 
“You close?” he says, almost experimentally. You can barely get out your strangled yes. 
“I —” you want to say, but he’s picking up the pace, chasing after his own release. 
I missed you. You think to yourself. But maybe that’s too much, too soon. 
“What? Pretty girl — what…” he cuts himself off with a groan. Like he doesn’t know how to control his speech, his breathing. Himself. Not like this. Not when everything is new and so fucking good. 
“I mi—” you can’t say it with your staggered breathing. He’s brushing up against that spot that drives you crazy. You both know it. 
You come, without saying it. Your vision goes white and dark at the same time. A sheen of sweat covers your body. You don’t know what to do with your arms, becoming slightly limp. It sounds like he can’t hold on much longer when you get tighter around him, it spurs him on and you know he’s not far behind. 
He’s mumbling something in your ear. You really can’t hear it under the helmet. You turn your head, 
“Hm?” you mumble, he groans again. 
“Missed — ngh — missed you. Sweet girl,” he says, then he comes, hot and thick, notching himself into you, anchoring himself to you forever. 
You moan through it, so does he. 
He collapses down next to you, you can feel the remnants of him leaking out between your sticky thighs. 
You try to unscramble your thoughts. Din hasn’t come back new. Just unlocking a part of him that you’ve never seen. Or, that he’s never let himself show. 
He does something else new, something you’ve never seen him do, let alone do with anyone else. It makes your heart beat so fast you’re worried he might feel it through the armor. 
You gasp, when you hear the quiet hiss of his helmet unlock but he cuts you off when he pushes the lip of the mask up just enough so he can kiss you. 
_
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k3ntarou · 1 year
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𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 | 𝐑. 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐀
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✗ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
✗ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩!𝐀𝐔, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞!𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐚
✗ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟕.𝟕𝐤
✗ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐠𝐞 (𝐦.), 𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐚𝐥, 𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐆 (𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐃𝐨𝐦/𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥) 𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐝𝐨𝐦!𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐚, 𝐬𝐮𝐛!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐞, 𝐝𝐮𝐛𝐜𝐨𝐧 (𝐑𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭), 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝!
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Suna Rintarou is a good boyfriend.
He’s attentive and caring, sweet and gentle, quite funny and just as responsible and respectful. Despite being quite busy with his career as a professional athlete and everything it comes with, he’s always made sure to give you the attention you need and deserve because you’re the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with and just the thought of your sadness hurts his heart.
Being in a relationship with him has given you everything you’ve ever asked for, which is why you can’t complain at all, and thankfully it’s the same way for him with you.
He’s a busy man – he always has been and will be for quite some time, you’re more than aware of it. After a while of being together, you’ve gotten used to his packed schedule which mostly consists of morning runs followed by some exercises with the whole team, a shower at the gymnasium and then the actual volleyball practice. His daily routine always ends with a two-hour gym session before he comes home and starts making dinner for the two of you.
At the end of the day, you’re always the one to come home to him and that’s what matters to you the most. You don’t mind if he forgets something here and there, neither do you care about him coming home later than usual and you usually reassure him about it all when he starts apologizing too much. You’re understanding and Suna might be the only person you can’t hold a grudge against, so most of the things he forgets or misses out on don’t faze you.
You usually make sure to send him a reminder about an hour or two before an appointment, if it’s something urgent.
He’s also never forgotten anything super important – until four days ago.
With the new season beginning soon, your boyfriend has been even busier than usual, which again: isn’t something you’re not used to.
However, you definitely didn’t expect him to forget about your dinner reservation for your six year anniversary.
Hence his time consuming schedule, the two of you had decided to celebrate three days later than the actual day of your anniversary, which you were absolutely okay with since it was the middle of a busy week for the both of you.
It had been so long since you went out to spend a whole evening and night with each other, despite living together, which is why you’d been looking forward to it.
You know how busy he is, know how tiring and exhausting his days are and you know you shouldn’t have felt as sad and disappointed as you did as you removed your make up and changed back into your casual clothes after waiting for him for a total of two hours.
You texted him about his whereabouts three times and only got an answer hours later, telling you not to wait up for him for dinner since he was still at practice with his boys.
Just as usual, you just accepted his response because the reservation had been canceled anyway and even if he actually decided to rush home, it would have taken him another two hours to be fully ready and in your head it just wasn’t worth the drama.
Now, about four days after intentionally crying yourself to sleep on the couch and avoiding your boyfriend as much as possible, simply to heal your slightly disappointed soul and not stress him even further, you’re quite sure Rintarou’s taken notice of your change in demeanor.
Maybe because you stop waiting up for him in bed, pretending to be asleep hours before he crawls underneath the blanket to cuddle you or because of the way you’ve dodged all of his initiations of intimacy the last few days. Not just the sexual ones, Suna doesn’t really care about those because he respects your boundaries and would never overstep any of them, but you’ve never been the type to move away from his soft touch or hold your cheek up against his lips instead of your own.
You know you’re being unfair and mean, you should just talk to him about it – he’s such a good boyfriend, after all. Yet…something in your chest makes this so much harder than it actually is and you can’t overcome it, no matter how hard you’ve been trying to.
Before you can overthink anything, your brain opts for the self defense mechanism of shutting yourself off, which is why you’re fast asleep by the time Rintarou’s decided to call it a night – again.
This time, however, your boyfriend of six years seems to be a little more persistent than usual as he places his big hand on your cheek and kneels on the floor of your side of the bed to be on eye level with you.
“Baby, I know you’re awake”, he whispers softly and caresses your warm skin, his pretty eyes attentively roaming your face, “I wanna talk to you. Would you mind giving me a second, please?”
It takes every bit of self control in your body for you to hold back a tiny whimper in response to his request; he has absolutely no right to be this gentle and kind, when you’ve been the exact opposite for almost a week.
“Something’s been going on with you lately and I wanna make sure you know I’m here for you no matter how busy I am, my Angel.”
This time you physically can’t stop yourself from tearing up as you slowly open your eyes and are met with the precious sight of your perfect boyfriend, who looks like he’s been living off of three hours of sleep for the past month.
Rin’s expression quickly changes from soft to worried the moment he spots the single tear rolling down your nose bridge and before it can land on your cheek, he places his lips on your skin and catches it.
“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?”
You can hear the worry in his deep, raspy voice and your heart breaks into so many pieces once you realize how much you’ve missed him.
Suna is quick to round the bed and get comfortable on his side before he pulls you into a soft hug and lets out a soft sigh. You can feel the waves of security and comfort break down on your tired body, but surprisingly you don’t start sobbing the way you expected it.
“Rin”, you whisper and pull away to look into his beautiful eyes again, losing yourself in the feeling of home they come with, “do you remember Saturday?”
As soon as the words leave your lips, Rintarou’s brows furrow in confusion, not only because of your question but because you’ve addressed him by his name – something he isn’t quite used to when it’s just the two of you, especially in the safety of your bedroom.
“Yes, Baby, what about it? Did something happen during my late practice session?”
You nod. For a moment you’re contemplating whether or not to tiptoe around the topic but your heart is aching for his touch and you’ve been carrying this around for way too long.
“We had a really important dinner reservation, Rintarou.”
At first, you hesitate with eye contact but as soon as his name falls past your lips, you lift your head and lock gazes with your lover, who is actively thinking about what you just said.
“What do you mean important, Baby? I can’t quite follow”, and for a moment, you feel your heart sink into your stomach, but you have absolutely no idea why.
Maybe it’s because you simply didn’t expect him to forget something so significant or maybe because you’re not used to it, yet either way a wave of soft anger washes over you.
“We were both supposed to leave work early because we had a dinner reservation at your favorite place”, you snap back and look at him with sad eyes, “to celebrate our sixth anniversary, Rintarou.”
The second you throw those last words at him, Suna’s whole face drops in absolute shock. You can tell from his lack of physical reaction, that he’s currently trying his best to process what‘s currently going on. Not even a second later, you start regretting your slight change in tone, since you never meant to accuse him of anything and your conscience is currently busy making you feel horrible for your overreaction.
“I – forgot about it.”
After a whole minute of silence, Suna states the obvious with actual horror gleaming in his pretty eyes and you can’t help but feel even worse now.
“I’m sorry I got distant instead of talking to you about it right away, Rin”, you quickly say before he can add anything else in hopes of calming him down after making one bad decision after the other.
Yet, all he does is shake his head before he pulls his arms away from your body and buries his face in his palms.
“This is – I’m – How could I?”
You don’t respond. You’re not even sure if you’re breathing properly and with every following second of silence, the usually so comfortable atmosphere in your shared bedroom becomes more and more tense and thick.
Suna isn’t one to be left speechless so easily, which is why you’re struggling with your reactions but thankfully he’s quick to regain his composure as he reaches for your face and carefully takes it into his big, calloused and tattoo clad hands.
“I’m so, so sorry, my Angel”, he whispers and places the softest kiss on your forehead, “I knew I was way busier than usual, yet I would have never expected this to happen, I promise I didn’t mean to.”
For some reason – probably because of how much you’ve missed him – you can’t stop yourself from tearing up at his genuine apology, which only turns out to stress Suna out even more.
You start shaking your head to reassure him of the good in your reactions and with a soft sigh, he pulls you back into his arms.
“My sweet angel girl, I hope you know I never meant for this to happen. The day started off so early and practice was so much harder since some of the boys got the flu so we had to change formations in case they couldn’t get back on the field in time and then I just said yes to some extra hours and–”, all of a sudden, Rintarou stops talking and just takes a deep breath to gather his thoughts before he continues.
“You know what? These are all just excuses and you deserve better than this. I simply forgot because of how busy I was and I’m sorry, Baby, I really am. Can you please forgive me?”
You’re quick to lift your head from the crook of his neck to look into his eyes, nodding almost immediately because you hate the thought of him feeling bad or guilty – which is kind of hypocritical since you decided to opt for silence and distance instead of just talking to him immediately, yet you try not to be too hard on yourself since you hadn’t had to face a situation like this with him in years, so your body just went with ways from the past.
“Thank you, my Love”, Rin places another soft kiss on your forehead before he sighs and looks into your eyes again.
“I promise I’m gonna make it up to you, okay? I’m gonna take you out to dinner to your favorite place, flowers, presents – the whole package.”
And out of nowhere, an idea occurs to you.
You have no clue, where it comes from nor have you realized up until that particular moment, how much you’ve been thinking about it but for some reason, your brain has decided that this is the perfect moment to ask for something Rintarou probably won’t ever suggest himself.
You have been together for so long, either of you feels comfortable enough in every matter imaginable – especially in terms of sexual desires, curiosity and experimenting. Certain dynamics, kinks and scenarios have developed between you two in the past few years, so you’re not quite sure why you’ve been so hesitant to ask him about your little fantasy.
Suna is a naturally dominant guy. His personality and whole behavior gives it away the second he steps into a room, and you absolutely love it. You love letting him take complete control over every situation and not use a single nerve in your brain whenever he’s around, it just feels right and he’s told you several times how much he enjoys and appreciates the trust you put in him. He says it makes him feel good about himself and gives him confidence, and since he’s your absolute safe haven, you're happy to be the same for him.
Now, when it comes to kinks and fantasies, Rin’s always been quite open. He’s tried most things such as hard degradation, neglect- and role plays, which neither one of you got further into after one or two tries, as well as a Daddy Dom – Little Girl dynamic and soft humiliation, which you’ve been sticking to ever since the first time.
Not once has he left you unsatisfied, never once has he denied you anything and never once has he overstepped any of your boundaries – and vice versa.
And yet, every now and then you find yourself fantasizing about using him for your own pleasure in the most self-centered and egoistic way possible. Which is kind of ironic since Rin’s always made sure to put you and your pleasure first, never finishing before you and always giving into your wishes and requests.
Maybe it’s not necessarily said aspect of it, but rather the fact that you want to physically tie him up so he’s at your complete mercy – all while you’re still grazing through the sweetness of your submissive haze.
You don’t want to dominate him, no, neither do you wanna be in complete control. All you want is to use him for as long as possible, while maybe teasing him in the meantime.
“May I also suggest something else to help you make it up to me, please?”, you respond after a good moment of absolute silence, knowing he doesn’t just pull you back into reality when he notices how much you’re getting lost in your thoughts.
Rintarou’s plump lips stretch into a big smile and he nods, giving you the wordless affirmation to continue.
“Don’t push it aside right away, okay? Just give it a thought please”, you say as you try to collect every brave pore in your body to form your risky request.
Suna squints at you in confusion, his smile never fading and making it even harder for you than it already is
“I want to tie you up.”
And as soon as those words leave your lips, your boyfriend’s face switches from suspicion to absolute shock and you seriously can’t remember the last time you saw him this genuinely overwhelmed.
Rintarou doesn’t move, nor does he say a single thing and for a short moment you’re worried he might not be breathing, until he pushes one of his big hands through his thick hair, scratching his chin right afterwards.
“Wha – you can’t be serious, Baby.”
You attentively watch the way he starts scoffing in disbelief and for a moment you regret suggesting it but not even another minute later, Suna turns serious again and looks into your eyes to search for affirmation.
“Please, Daddy”, you whisper and push your lips into a pout as you reach for his hand and start playing with his pretty, calloused fingers to distract him and maybe get some kind of different reaction from him, “if you won’t feel comfortable or get any pleasure from it, then I won’t be any more persistent, I promise. But I know you don’t want it because it makes you feel submissive and like you’re losing control.”
You take a deep breath and never once avert your gaze from his face because you’ve known Rin long enough to be aware of his insecurities and his worries and the last thing you’d ever want is for him to think you’re taking advantage of your knowledge.
“I promise you’re still gonna be the dominant one, you know how easily you push me into submission. All I want is to – uhm – use you.”
This time the words seem a tad bit heavier but rather because you’re not quite sure how he might react to them and you're afraid he might be upset. Rintarou isn’t one to get mad or angry easily, especially not with you, but this topic is something you two have talked about a total of two times in the past, so you’re more nervous than anxious.
“Oh? My pretty girl is greedier than I thought”, he suddenly says, his green eyes roam your face as his pretty lips finally stretch into a playful smirk and you feel the weight disappear from your chest just like that.
“No, am not”, you pout and roll your eyes, moving a little closer to him before you place a soft kiss on his pretty lips, “I’ve just been thinking about it a lot lately and you’ve been so busy, I miss you, that’s all.”
“My sweet, sweet little Angel, come here”, Suna mumbles and pulls you into an even deeper kiss, pushes his tongue into your hot mouth and grunts softly, which sends a jolt of pleasure through your veins right into your core and all of a sudden your panties start sticking to your cunt.
“I can’t lie, I’m not really into being tied down. Mostly because of what you said but also because touching you is what gets me off the most. There’s just something so…”, Rin gently wraps his slim fingers around your throat and slowly tightens his grip, pushing you even deeper into your sweet haze of arousal, “good – about it. It makes me nervous to think about not being able to touch you.”
You try your very best to listen to what he’s saying, yet – your brain is clouded by his sweet scent, the feeling of his firm grip on your throat and his warm breath hitting your skin in ways you’ve been craving it for way too long now. All you can do is nod along to his words and for a moment you forget about your own request.
“Hey, hey”, Rin suddenly whispers and grabs your face to pull you back into reality, “eyes and mind on Daddy, sweet girl. I’m talking to you, don’t be rude now.”
“Mhm, I’m sorry”, you quickly reply and gulp harshly as you wrap your fingers around his slim wrist.
“I’m gonna let you tie me up, Baby, I wanna make it up to you, after all.” Suna sounds a lot more confident than just a few minutes ago and the way he’s looking at you makes your stomach jump in absolute excitement.
“Thank you, Daddy”, this time you let your eyes move to his plump lips, staring at them for way too long as you think about how good they feel on your skin and in between your legs, firmly sucking on your clit, “I really appreciate it, I know it’s a big request to make.”
“You’re always such a good girl for me, Princess, this is the least I can do for you. Now, how about we get to it, hm? I’ve missed you so much, all I can think about is how good that sweet pussy of yours feels around my cock.”
A literal heatwave rushes through your body and you feel your heart thrumming in your heart from excitement because not only are you craving him and his touch, but have also been fantasizing about this for a lot longer than you would ever admit, so there’s absolutely no doubt you’re gonna have a great time.
In the following minutes, Rintarou guides you through the whole process of taking your and his own clothes off before he pushes his hand in between your legs one last time to gather your sweet juices on his fingers and push them right into his mouth, all while looking into your eyes.
After he’s made sure to get you even more flustered by chuckling at how shy you get with him, Suna lays down in the middle of your shared bed to give you enough space and then helps you with the rope. A few minutes later, you come to kneel in between his spread legs to stare at the perfect sight in front of you with big eyes.
You don’t know how long you stare at his toned, tattoo clad torso but you know your focus stays on his thick thighs and his raging hard cock even longer, not realizing how worked up your needy gaze is getting your sweet boyfriend.
“Baby, stop staring and touch me, please”, Rin grunts and slightly bucks up his hips, a deep growl following his calm request and before your brain can process it, your hand reaches for his cock and gently starts stroking him.
“F-Fuck”, the profanity falls past his lips almost immediately and you quickly look into his face to watch the way his perfect features contort in pleasure, his cheeks reddening even further as he throws his head back into the pillow.
For a short moment, you can watch the way he’s falling apart and it’s making your head spin in the sweetest ways possible, yet only fuels your excitement even further.
It doesn’t take another minute for your hunger to get the best of you and before you can realize it, you wrap your lips around his pretty tip and lap up the tiny bits of precum glistening on his skin. Rin lets out a row of deep grunts, bucks his hips up to push his cock a little deeper into your mouth as he pulls on the rope and sighs in frustration. You’re surprised to see him this worked up, when it hasn’t even been longer than a few minutes but you’re enjoying every second of his desperation.
“That’s my good girl”, your boyfriend mumbles and locks gazes with you, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he watches the way you take his cock all the way down your throat, “Daddy’s missed that pretty mouth so much, it’s been way too long.”
You nod in agreement, yet too focused on the perfect feeling of his heavy cock in your mouth and his sweet taste coating the muscle of your tongue, so all you do is bop your head and wrap your hand around the lower half of his length to make up for the lack of contact from your mouth.
While you’re slowly losing yourself in the noises and taste of your sweet boyfriend, Rin's trying his very best to remain as calm and composed as possible but after not being close to you for a lot longer than he had intended to, he’s way too close to lose it all within the next few minutes.
“Take it easy on me, Baby. I haven’t even had time to fuck my fist to the thought of you, so I’m way more sensitive than usual”, he warns and tries to move away from your needy mouth, only for you to pull away and look at him with glossy eyes.
“But I’ve missed your cock so much, Daddy, you can’t just make me stop! If you’re gonna cum, just do it, you know I love it when you do.”
“You’re being greedy, Princess, behave yourself.”
For a moment, you can’t help but push your lips into a pout, only to realize that Rin can’t do much besides verbally scolding you and all of a sudden a shiteating grin appears on your face.
“Hmm, no, thank you, Daddy”, you reply cheekily and let a thick drop of spit fall onto the tip of his cock before you start stroking him again.
Suna’s face quickly contorts in absolute pleasure because you know exactly how to make him feel good, yet his initial facial expression is one of absolute shock.
“I fucking knew it”, he grunts and rolls his eyes yet again, “I knew you’d take advantage of this and brat out on me.”
“Huh? I didn’t even do anything, don’t be mean now! I used my manners, looked at you and called you Daddy, how is that being a brat?”
Suna squints at you with furrowed brows, his tattooed chest tinted in the sweetest shades of red, as well as his cheeks and his bit swollen lips.
“I told you to t-take it easy, Baby, I’m way too close and I haven’t even gotten a taste of you.”
You know Rintarou’s worried about disappointing you by letting himself indulge in the sweet pleasure you’re providing him, which is why he’s slowly losing his patience.
“Mhm, sure”, you just mumble and suck on his tip, humming softly when the salty taste of his precum hits your tastebuds.
Before Rin, you’ve never even liked the thought of sucking someone’s cock, yet with him it’s become something you’re actually craving and you have absolutely no idea why and how.
“How about you untie me, hm, Baby? You’ve been so stressed lately, let Daddy take care of his angel, wouldn’t want you to overdo it, right?”
You can hear the desperation in his words as well as his voice, and even if that wasn’t the case, reading Suna’s body language has become the easiest thing for you personally, and you can tell his current mood just from the way he’s pulling at the ropes around his wrists.
“No”, you reply calmly, and take the whole of his length down your throat, swallowing around him just to hum once his sweet moans and deep grunts fill the thick air of your shared bedroom.
Rintarou’s eyes roll into the back of his head and for a solid minute, he feels like he’s going to pass out from how close he is to cumming, only for you to pull away the second he decides to let himself indulge in the sweetness of his relief.
You simply get back on your knees and let your eyes roam over his strong body, your hands are firmly placed on his thick thighs and currently caress his sensitive skin, whereas Rin tries his very best not to lose his mind from the sudden lack of pleasure.
“What the fuck”, is the first coherent thing the professional athlete manages to produce after a row of deep, animalistic grunts and moans had left his throat and for a short moment, you feel sorry for your sweet boyfriend.
“What the fuck are you doing, Baby? I was so fucking close”, Suna spits and throws his head back in annoyance, his big cock twitching right in front of you and if it wasn’t for your plan of fulfilling every bit of your fantasy, you would have just let him cum.
“You’re okay, Daddy”, you smile and move away from in between his legs, at least one of your hands remains on his body as you come to sit right next to his head.
“Untie me, Baby, come on. This was fun and all but Daddy really needs to cum and I mean this, don’t play with my patience”, Rin’s voice is still hoarse, yet a lot stricter and less soft than just a few minutes ago. You know you’re doing something you usually would never even think of because you just want to be his good girl and his pleasure is the only thing on your mind, yet for some reason to see and have him at your complete mercy like this is the reason for the wetness on your inner thighs.
“You’re doing well, Daddy, I promise”, you say with a big smile and pull him into a needy kiss, sucking his tongue into your mouth and moaning softly when he digs his teeth into the flesh of your bottom lip.
“F-Fuck, Baby”, Rin whispers and chases your lips once you pull away, his cheeks tinted in the sweetest shades of red and at the way he needily licks the last bits of your spit from his mouth has your eyes rolling into the back of your head.
“Spit in my mouth, Angel.” The request is random and slightly overwhelming, not because he hasn’t asked you to do just that before but rather because you weren’t expecting him to sound as needy as he does.
“Of course, Daddy”, you say and nudge your nose with his, placing the softest open mouthed kiss on his parted lips to make sure he’s longing for more, “how could I ever say no to you, hm?”
Suna hates the way his cock twitches in excitement at your words, your voice and your touch. He knows he’s not being pushed into submission yet he can’t help just how much your confidence and control is driving him crazy.
He knows you’re being a tease and you’re being way too good at it for his personal liking, yet the urge to just let his sweet girl do whatever the fuck she wants to him is almost overwhelming.
Before you can say another word, Rintarou parts his lips and sticks his tongue out, his green eyes never once leaving yours and when the sweetest little whimper escapes your throat, he knows everything is still the way he’s used to it.
You reach for your boyfriend’s face, gently cupping his cheeks and nudging your nose against his before you pull away and let a thick drop of your spit fall onto the back of his hot muscle.
As soon as Rin gets a taste of your saliva, he lets out a deep grunt and you can feel his cock twitching against your lower tummy, his reactions easily making your head spin and for a moment you even consider just letting him do whatever he wants.
“Good girl”, the praise is the only thing Suna manages to mumble, since you randomly decide to straddle his lap and press your wet cunt against his rock hard cock, making his eyes roll into the back of your head as he tries his best to maintain his composure.
“Do you think I can make you cum like this?” Your voice is soft and innocent, your eyes are glossy and needy, yet your question seems to be the complete opposite and if it wasn’t for all the arousal clouding his brain, Suna would have scolded you for teasing him.
“I don’t give a fuck how you do it, just please make me cum, Baby”, Rin replies and gulps harshly, aware of just how desperate he sounds but the feeling of your warm cunt dragging along his shaft is driving him absolutely crazy.
You chuckle in response to his pleas, slowly moving your hips to apply just the right amount of pressure on his cock and focusing on his leaking tip with each movement. There’s just something so…hot about watching the way your usually so composed and stern Daddy is slowly falling apart from that little bit of teasing and you can’t help but get addicted to the feeling.
“Oh? What’s wrong, Daddy? Are you okay?”, you reply with a faux pout on your lips, trying your best not to giggle as excitement rushes through your veins.
With a sudden thrust of his hips, Rintarou grunts warningly and furrows his brows once he realizes how much you enjoy seeing him like this and if it wasn’t for the frustration of being denied his relief for the second time, he would have been a lot less harsh.
“Stop fucking playing with me, Baby, just guide me inside and fuck me properly���, he hisses through gritted teeth, his cheeks reddening even further as he looks into your eyes, yet moans as soon as you rub your pretty cunt against his sensitive tip.
Usually he needs way more than just that little bit of stimulation, but after weeks of being busy and not even finding the time to fuck his fist, the professional athlete is a lot easier than he would have ever thought.
“First, I want you to cum for me like this, Daddy”, you say calmly and get comfortable on his thighs again just to spit on the tip of his cock and calmly wrap your fingers around his shaft to give him a few gentle strokes and attentively watch the way his whole body tenses up.
Suna just lets out another row of long, raspy moans which are almost about to sound like actual whimpers and you can’t help but gulp harshly as your cunt starts clenching in response to his sweet noises.
Your eyes roam his flushed face like it’s the only thing you’ve ever done, yet there’s something in your head which pushes you even further to the sweet line of your boyfriend’s edge, despite your awareness of his slowly declining patience. Maybe it’s the way he bucks his hips up into your touch in absolute despair or maybe it’s the thought of watching him fall apart underneath your touch, yet regardless of the reason, you still find yourself slowing down the movements of your hands as soon as his breathing gets heavier, less regulated and his little moans turn into rather guttural grunts.
“Faster, Baby, come on, I’m so close”, his words confirm your observations and with wide eyes you do as you’re told to see just how far you can push him.
Rintarou feels a wave of actual relief wash over his body as the first few jolts of pleasure run down his spine and he can physically feel himself tumbling over the edge, only for you to pull away as soon as his cock starts twitching in your hands.
For a whole minute, your boyfriend seems absolutely speechless. Not a single coherent word passes his lips as he gasps for air and throws his head back into the pillow to calm himself down, not quite understanding what’s going on.
You pull your bottom lip between your teeth to hide your cheeky smile, you don’t want your precious Daddy to see (or notice just yet) how much you’re enjoying his current state, all while calmly caressing his thick thighs and gently littering his tattooed chest in open mouthed kisses.
“What the actual fuck, Baby? What the fuck are you doing? I was – what the fuck?”
Suna’s always been one to swear a lot, even back in his High School days, yet whenever he seems to struggle to form a single sentence without a profanity, that’s when you know he’s quite close to his last limits.
“I thought you wanted me to fucking cum, Baby, why the fuck did you stop?” For some reason you can’t help but pout at the fact he’s still using his favorite petname for you, when the frustration has taken over every bit of his being.
“I changed my mind, Daddy”, you reply and move away from his legs to kneel next to his handsome face, placing one of your hands on his cheek and chuckling softly at the way he easily moves into your touch, “I promise you’re gonna get to cum very soon, okay?”
“What the fuck does that even mean, Baby? Come on now, you’ve had your fun, right? Untie me so I can finally fuck my sweet little angel-”, but you don’t really give your boyfriend the chance to finish his sentence as you straddle his face and sigh softly once you finally feel his perfect mouth on your ruined cunt.
Rin tries to fake a little protest, yet instantly folds as soon as he gets a taste of your sweet juices and before either one of you realizes, he’s sucking your needy clit into his hot mouth.
“Fuck”, his voice is even deeper than just a few minutes ago, his eyes fluttering close as he indulges in the sweet taste of your pussy spreading in his mouth and taking over all of his senses, “I missed this pretty cunt so fucking much.”
And without even giving you the opportunity to respond, Rin starts eating you out like a man starved. Loud slurping noises, deep grunts and sloppy licking sounds start filling the space of your shared bedroom as you move your hips against his mouth and try your best not to lose your mind from the feeling of stimulation you’ve been missing oh so much these past few weeks. You both know you can’t cum like this, not when he can’t use his fingers, yet you feel like you’re actually floating in the sweetest haze of pleasure and you simply can’t seem to stop yourself from getting lost.
You gently pull at his hair, grinding your cunt against his pretty face and let out every single noise which dares to enter your throat, since you, much like your boyfriend, haven’t had the energy to make yourself cum these past few days and have way too much pent up frustration to simply care.
“Baby”, Suna suddenly says and lets out a deep sigh after swallowing one more time.
“Hm?”
“You’re close, aren't you? But Daddy can’t make you cum like this, right?”
All you do is let out a confirming hum in response to his words yet again, way too deep in your pleasure to form a coherent sentence.
“Untie me then, Angel, come on”, Suna mumbles and pulls on the ropes around his wrists again to remind you of his current situation, not expecting you to giggle at his attempt of taking advantage of your clouded brain.
“That was cute, Daddy”, you mumble and get off of his face again, purring like a cat when the cold air hits your drenched cunt, just to straddle his lap right away.
“But your Baby’s a lot stronger than this, don’t you know? Gonna make sure to make the best of this as much as I can.”
Suna can’t help but smile once his words hit you. You’re way too adorable for your own good and if it wasn’t for his painful hard on, he would have been able to focus on the sweet warmth spreading in his chest as an almost automatic reaction to your behavior.
But from the way your eyes have gotten even glossier and your words sound a lot more slurred than just a few minutes ago, Rintarou can tell you’re close to breaking, he knows you like the back of his hand.
For a moment, your boyfriend holds his breath as he calmly watches the way you reach in between your legs to grab his rock hard cock, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as soon as you line his angry tip up with your cute hole.
“That’s it, there you go”, he exhales loudly and presses the words through his gritted teeth, his knuckles turn white in the process from how hard he’s gripping the ropes and just the way he seems to be oh so eager makes you head spin.
“Look at me, Daddy.”
Before you can even finish your sentence, Rintarous lids flutter open and he locks his glossy gaze with yours, absolute despair gleaming in the sweet green surrounding his iris – just how you wanted it to be.
“Come on, Angel, show Daddy how well you can fuck him, yeah, Make me proud.”
And with those words, Suna easily pulls you back into the haze of his dominance as he plays into your urge to please him, so the only thing your body manages to do is to slowly start sinking down on his hard length.
The feeling his tip stretching your sensitive cunt elicits a row of loud groans from the both of you and despite trying your absolute hardest to maintain the eye contact, you have no choice but to throw your head back and whimper.
“Hey, hey”, Rin grunts and gently bucks his hips up to push his cock even deeper into your cunt, but also making you shift your atteng back to him, “don’t you dare look anywhere but me, got it? Wanna watch the way you look when you cum on my cock, Baby.”
You nod in response and try to stop your cunt from clenching around his length as the previous sweetness from your stolen high starts coating the muscle of your tongue again, only to fail miserably.
It’s been too long and after being with him for such a long time, you’re too greedy to care about anything else.
It takes another minute for you to sink down on his cock completely, and once he’s bottomed out, you gently place your hands on his flushed chest and try to catch your breath.
“W-Wanna untie you, Daddy”, you suddenly whisper and slowly move your hips, your thighs already burning from how much you’ve been eningtensing up. “I want you to take over, please.”
However, Suna just shakes his head, not once averting his gaze from your pretty face.
“You’ve got this, Angel, I know it. My pretty girl’s gonna make her Daddy cum so good, aren’t you, Baby? Go on, fuck me.”
His words of encouragement are a hidden demand, but Rintarou knows you’re too fucked out to notice – it’s so cute. The tiniest taste of his cock filling your cunt and his perfect, obedient Baby’s back to the point where not a single thought lingers in her sweet brain.
You take a short moment to regain your composure before you sit up again and slowly start circling your hips, grinding into him and finally giving the two of you some of the relief you’ve been craving oh so much.
Rintarou’s eyes sparkle with pride as he calmly thrust his hips up to meet the movements of yours, grunting and moaning at how good your pretty cunt feels around his cock.
It doesn’t take too long for you to grow absolutely impatient, though. All of a sudden you start picking up the pace of your movements, gently yet firmly pulling your body up and sinking down on his length to make sure his tip hits your sweet spot each time and before you can even think about it, Suna pushes you to the edge of your high with just his words.
“Rub your clit for me, Angel”, he grunts and pulls his abused bottom lip between his teeth to hold back his noises, only to let out the raspiest whimper the moment your cunt tightens around his cock from the stimulation on your sensitive bundle of nerves.
“Good girl.”
Those two deadly words of praise make you gasp for air as a huge wave of pleasure breaks down on you and you can’t help but whimper when you feel your juices sticking to your inner thighs.
“I want your fingers in my mouth”, the request comes out of nowhere, yet is definitely not random. If there’s one thing about Suna Rintarou, it’s sucking on your fingers whenever he’s about to cum and even if you’ve been expecting – or better said, anticipating it, you still can’t stop your body’s needy reaction to it.
Without missing another beat, you place your shaky hand on his chin and nervously push your fingers into his mouth, a high pitched moan falling past your lips as soon as you feel his hot tongue on your digits.
“Gonna cum with Daddy, yeah? You’re gonna make a mess of me, aren’t you, Princess? Go on then, look at me when you take my cum.”
With every single word, Suna thrusts his hips up to meet the sloppy circles of yours, his green eyes never once leaving yours before he harshly pulls on the robes to the point where they finally lose against his strength and before your brain can process it, you feel your loves hands groping and kneading every bit of flesh they can find.
However, as soon as his thumb reaches your clit, your high comes crashing down on you like a huge wave, almost drowning you in the process.
Your whole body tenses up, your cunt tightening around Suna’s cock like a god damn vice and pulling him over the edge as he cums inside of you and coats the inside of your spasming pussy with his creamy cum.
Whimpers, whines and even sobs are the only thing to fill the emptiness of your shared bedroom, your noises easily overshadowing your boyfriend’s deep grunts and guttural moans and if it wasn’t for the sweet taste of your high, you would have indulged in his perfect noises of pleasure.
You have absolutely no idea how long you’re cumming, all you know is the feeling of Rin’s nails digging into your waist as he tries his best to take the overstimulation after being edged for so long.
“Good girl”, he breathes and pulls you into a sloppy kiss, chuckling against your lips as soon as he feels your breath hitch in your throat, “my perfect little Princess, you did so well.”
“You too, Daddy”, you shoot back breathlessly, gently kissing his lips and then his cheeks followed by his chin and the tip of his flushed nose, “thank you so much for this. You’re so good to me.”
“No need to thank me, Angel Girl, might as well do this more often, hm?”
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(✗ 𝐀/𝐍: 𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐞𝐬! 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐀𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐨𝐬 (𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐭 𝐢’𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲) 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢’𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐨! 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 (𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒) 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭 (𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠) 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐱𝐱 𝐳𝐚𝐝𝐞 )
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oh-austin · 2 years
Text
lift a finger (austin butler)
summary: in which you're heavily pregnant on the set of elvis and austin is set on making sure you the most comfortable you can be
ask / prompt : Hi! Can you please do one where the reader is pregnant and Austin is just super overprotective and cute! You choose if you want to include the birth and make it extremely fluffy. I just thought this would be amazing.
authors note / warnings: mentions of pregnancy and vomiting! I chose not to put the birth and labour in because I have another piece planned for my inez and austin series coming soon!! we love dad!austin here <3
────── ∘◦❀◦∘
Nearing the end of your pregnancy, you thought you had faced the worst of it and it would be smooth sailing from here on out. Boy were you wrong.
It was hard being pregnant and married to an actor, the busy schedules and flying from location to location was hard to keep up with, but when you’re married to the man portraying Elvis Presley.. that’s a whole other story.
Austin constantly doted on you whenever he was given the opportunity, but since you were often at home whilst he was shooting- you never really gave him the chance. But since you were met with braxton hicks last week, your doctor has recommended always being in someone’s company; Austin made sure he was that someone.
If Austin was filming a scene in the hot sun, you were sitting under a sunshade in his chair. If the call time was until eleven o’clock at night, you were asleep nearby. Austin made sure he always had you close and somewhere that he could see you.
Usually, you wouldn’t complain about getting to see Austin work. Watching him in his element was truly something special, but over the last few days you’ve just wanted to lounge around in bed and maybe finish the nursery. But here you were, sat next to a bail of hay nearing nine pm as Austin and Tom filmed the carnival scenes.
“How you feeling, mamas?” Austin looked just delicious walking over to you in his black lace shirt. Reminded you of how you got pregnant in the first place. “You’re glowing,” He complimented you.
“I don’t feel like I’m glowing,” You admitted to him. It was a warm summer night in Queensland, the humidity was not your friend. Being in the northern parts of Australia came with its perks, the heat wasn’t one of them- especially when you’re eight months pregnant. “Your child has been kicking me all day,”
“My child, huh?” Austin laughed, he almost seemed offended. “How’s your stomach? Still feelin’ sick?”
“I don’t know if I’m just nauseous because I’m pregnant or because they’re moving so much,” You rubbed your hand over your belly, “But I’m starting not to care,”
“Did you want to head back to the trailer? Have you got water?” Austin looked around, “I asked to get you water like three takes ago,” Austin’s voice became frustrated when he noticed you only had your bag next to you, no water in sight.
“Hey, it’s okay! These people are here for you, not me,” You reminded him, “I don’t need water, I’m fine,” You reached for Austin’s hand the best you could and placed it on top of your belly. Like your baby knew that their daddy was there, a strong kick made you jolt in your seat.
“Hey!” Austin laughed, “You should be asleep, little miss,”
“We don’t even know if it’s a girl yet,” It was true, your gender reveal idea was canned as soon as filming picked up. Everyone that you really wanted to attend was in a different country anyway, so there really wasn’t much of a point. That and Austin loved surprises, but he was set on your baby being a little girl.
“Oh, she’s a girl,” Austin crouched down, giving your belly a kiss, “Ain’t that right, Pres?” Austin had been adamant that you were going to name your child Presley. She was made on set baby, only fair we name him after the man who brought us here, he would argue. You weren’t letting that happen.
Austin Butler, the man who played Elvis Presley named his daughter after him? You could see the headlines now.
“We’re not calling her Presley!” You tilted his chin up to look at you.
Austin’s face broke out in a cheeky grin as he stood back up, “You said she’s a girl,” He sang. As Baz called him back over to reshoot the scene, Austin danced away from you joking whilst softly chanting ‘girl, girl, girl’. You shook your head at him and laughed.
Soon, Baz had Austin film some solo shots at the carnival, making use of the set whilst they were here. Whilst Austin was busy shooting, Tom soon made his way over to you.
“Y/N, how are you?” He asked. Tom might have been one of the most genuine men you had ever met. Soft spoken and kind, he had the ability to make anyone feel safe and calm.
“I’m tired,” You admitted to him, “Probably not as tired as you are in that costume,” Tom looked barely anything like himself, it was incredible really.
“You get used to it,” He chuckled, taking a seat down in the chair next to yours, “How much longer now?” He asked.
“Three weeks,” Your eyes widened, your heart would always race whenever you admitted it out loud. Soon, you and Austin would no longer be a family of two- forever three of you.
“Wow!” He marvelled, “Not long then. The first one is always an adventure,”
“She’s been a pretty big adventure,” You laughed, patting your belly, “I’ll tell you that,” You felt a kick back in response.
“So you’re having a girl! How exciting,” Tom sat forwards the best he could, he was always so attentive in any conversation. “My second child was a girl, I love being her dad- Austin’s gonna love it too,”
“Well, we don’t know if it’s a girl, Austin just thinks it is,” You told him. Tom watched as you looked across the carnival and over at Austin, he could see the admiration in your eyes for him. Reminded him of his wife and himself. “We don’t even have a name yet,”
“Well what names do you like?” He asked.
You thought to yourself for a second, “I like Harper for a girl, Austin doesn’t like it though,” You laughed, “He says it doesn’t ‘work’”
“You’ll know when you find the right name,” Tom admitted, “You’ll understand what he means when he says ‘it works’, I promise you that,” He laughed.
“Thank you, Tom” You turned back to look at him. After a few more minutes of conversation, Baz called Tom back for another couple scenes and you were sat alone once more. Well, not completely alone- and your baby was definitely trying to remind you of that.
The longer that you sat, the more sick you began to feel. Your stomach felt like it was cramping and turning at the same time. You tried some deep breaths to calm yourself down, but you couldn’t.
Austin’s manager noticed that you weren’t feeling well, once you had to rest your head in your hands.
“Y/N, you okay?” James leant down and spoke with a quiet voice, knowing you weren’t someone who wanted the attention on themselves.
You shook your head and swallowed the lump in your throat. “I think I’m gonna be sick,”
James, with a gentle hand on your back, lead you back to Austin’s trailer and helped you into the bathroom. It was hard for you to get close to the ground these days, but at that moment- your body knew you needed to.
You threw up your dinner, your throat burned as you dry heaved over the toilet. James was kind enough to hold your hair back for you. After a few minutes, you were rested against the wall of Austin’s bathroom, James passing you a bottle of water from the miniature fridge. You thanked him softly and apologised to him.
James asked if you would be okay as you begged him to go back to work, not needing people to watch over you. You were pregnant, not helpless. So James went back to set as you sat there taking slow sips of your water.
As Baz yelled cut and announced that they were now wrapped for the night, Austin was relieved that he could now spend the rest of his night with his wife and their baby. But as he looked over to where she was supposed to be, he found his chair empty.
He should’ve noticed you were gone. Austin mentally cursed himself, always his own biggest critic. He was too invested in filming the scene he could spare a single glance over at you, he was so stupid, he thought to himself.
“James!” Austin called over to his manager. James looked nervous as he rushed over to Austin.
“I’ve just come from the trailers,” James explained, Austin noticed his uneasy nature, “Y/N has been sick, so I’ve left her in there to rest,”
“Shit!” Austin sighed, already leaving the conversation once he heard you weren’t well, “Why don’t people come and tell me these things!” He shouted back at James, “She’s pregnant!”
Austin wasn’t an angry person, he wasn’t someone to express his feelings of frustration. Rather keep them to himself and write them down in his journal later. But when it came to you and his baby, it was a different story.
Austin was overcome with anger when he saw you sitting on the bathroom floor, struggling to get back up. “Mamas, what are you doin’ down there?” Even when upset, the Elvis drawl stayed with Austin. He rushed over to you and put an arm underneath you, ready to help you to your feet.
“I was sick, I’m just trying to get up and brush my teeth,” You explained to Austin. As soon as you were back on your feet, your ankles ached once more- oh they joys of motherhood.
“Sick? How bad?” Austin put his hand to your forehead, trying to feel for a fever, “You need me to get the doctor? She’s probably not left yet-“
“Austin,” You cupped his face with your hands, “I’m okay,”
He seemed to calm down visibly in your embrace. Austin leant into your soft touch. “Promise me you’re okay?”
“I promise! I’m just pregnant, pregnant people throw up” You talked slower to try and bring Austin back down to earth. You took a few breaths with Austin before letting go of his face, going to grab your toothbrush from the bench.
“No,” Austin beat you to it, “You’re not allowed to lift a finger for the rest of the night, you’re on my time now,”
You rolled your eyes at him, taking your toothbrush back. “Aren’t you on the clock?”
“As of five minutes ago? No, no I’m not,” Austin smirked, “So, brush your teeth and get in bed,”
“Did you want to brush them for me?” You raised your eyebrows at him.
“Shh,” Austin grabbed your face softly and kissed your head, “Get brushing,”
Although Austin was doting and protective over you, you knew that Tom was right- Austin was going to be a great dad to your little girl.
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dakotalun · 6 months
Note
hi!! I just read both parts to your series ‘You Belong With Me’ and holy shit it’s so good!! I wanted to ask if I could request something maybe?? :)
i was thinkin something where Eddie and a super shy girl are dating. They’re only like three weeks into dating but they love each other so much. Reader’s parents fight a lot (maybe Eddie knows), and she randomly shows up on his trailer doorstep crying one day cause of it…sm fluff plz😭🙏
omg I love this prompt! I wrote this in one day because I simply couldn't stop thinking about it!!
Words: 2.2k
Eddie is the best thing to happen this year. I never thought that I would be dating the town “freak” but here I am. The only thing is that he’s not a freak, well in the ways everyone describes him as he’s not. He’s got a very sweet and loving side to him that if you just gave it time he would show.
It became apparent how much of a caring side he has when I told him about my parents.
“They hate each other! I never understood why the hell they got married in the first place. I mean if two people hate each other so much why be together?” I was ranting and pacing about the most recent argument my parents had.
“Sweets, you gotta calm down, please. Come sit,” Eddie motions for me to sit down on the bed next to him but I keep pacing, there are too many emotions for me to be still right now.
“I can’t calm down, I mean they do this all the time! They act all fine and loving around me but then once they think I’ve gone to bed they rip each other’s throats out. I can’t fucking deal with it anymore!” I can feel the tears welling up at the corner of my eyes, but I refuse to cry over them, over this.
Eddie gets up and stands in my path, “Move,” I look at him waiting but he doesn’t budge, “Eddie move. Please.”
“Nope. Not until you take a deep breath and calm down. This is too much for you right now, you just need to sit with it, trust me. If anyone knows fucked up families it’s me.”
“Don’t say that,” My heart breaks hearing him say stuff like that,  “You didn’t choose for your parents to leave you.”
“And you didn’t choose for yours to hate each other,” He places his hands on my shoulders, “If anything else happens just know that I’m here for you. If they start fighting and you need a place to crash come here, Wayne won’t mind and if he does then I’ll kick him out.”
I laugh at his joke, knowing that he would really do it if it had to be done.
“Okay,” I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him tight, “Thanks Eds. I love you.”
“Love you too honey.”
That was last week. Only last week when Eddie said I could come over any time they were fighting and I didn’t wanna hear it. So when I heard the screams come from down the hall I started getting dressed, but then I stopped. It was only last week. Was it too soon to come over and sleep at his place?
We’ve slept in the same place before but it was merely by accident, either we were watching tv in my living room and we fell asleep or we were cuddling after school and fell asleep. Never was it purposeful, until now.
Another scream comes from my parents room, followed by a crash. I have to leave. I can’t deal with this, so I continue getting dressed and pack a small bag before sneaking out of my room. The worst part is that I can’t even jump out of my window like most teens, I have to actually use the front door if I wanna leave. 
Quietly I open the door to my bedroom and slink out of it as quickly as I can without making noise. Their shouts are louder out here, no cushion protecting my ears now. This also means I can clearly hear what they are yelling about.
“DAVE I HAVE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE-” My mom’s voice coes riquseing down the hall.
“AND I’M TELLING YOU THAT I. DON’T. CARE! WE DO NOT HAVE THE MONEY FOR IT AND THERE IS NO WAY TO GET IT!” My dad’s voice follows close behind.
“WHY NOT? IS IT BECAUSE YOU KEEP SPENDING IT ON HOOKERS AND DRUGS? ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK UP THIS FAMILY?!”
“FAMILY? FAMILY? YOU THINK THIS IS A FMAILY? THIS IS TWO HUMANS WHO HAD A KID TOGETHER FAR TOO EARLY AND NOW HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TAKE CARE OF IT!” 
It. He referred to me as an it, not a she, or a they, or hell even a he. A fucking it! I’ve been their kid for 17 years now and they can’t even pretend to love me. I guess I was never their kid, I was just a burden for them. Well now they don’t have to worry about me.
I rush towards the steps and out the front door, not caring to be quiet anymore. I can feel the raindrops on my skin as they mix with the ever flowing tears. But I don’t care, I need to get as far away from that hell hole as I can, I need to be somewhere safe. I need Eddie.
---
I’m walking for what feels like hours, the rain now completely soaked through my clothes. My feet and hands are frozen but I can’t turn back now, I’m closer to Eddie’s than I am home anyways.
Walking through this part of town at this time of night was always peaceful, it would help me clear my head of all the things it was holding on to. The pain, anxiety and depression would slowly fade away as I walk, left, right, left, right, left, right. Until there was nothing to think of anymore, nothing to worry about.
Now, as I walk the familiar route to the trailer park, my brain can’t seem to shut up or shut off. The screams and yells from my parents flood every corner of my brain, never letting go. No matter how hard I try to get rid of them, they stick like super glue.
I look up from the sidewalk noticing the world around me getting slightly brighter than it was before. Eddie. My heart flutters at the thought of him, the way I know he will hold me and kiss my forehead. I turn into the trailer park, now only a minute away from the one I love.
I approach the doorstep and before I can knock I take a deep breath hoping it will make it less noticeable that I was crying the whole way here. But it doesn’t.
So I knock anyway. Knock, knock, knock. The sound rings through the small home like a pen dropping in an empty room. There’s shuffling on the other end and then the click of the lock. The door swings open to reveal Wayne, Eddie’s uncle. He’s standing there in his work clothes, one shoe on the other sitting by his recliner.
“Oh honey,” He steps aside and ushers me in, helping me take my coat off, “Did you walk all the way here?”
I nod, not trusting my voice just yet. Eddie calls from the other room, “Who is it? I just ordered pizza so it really shouldn’t be here ye-” He talks as he walks out of his room, cups and plates sitting in his hand.
“Shit.” He rushes over to me and cups my face in his hands, “What happened? What’s going on?” His eyes are frantic and he looks back and forth from me to Wayne, hoping someone will answer.
“My-” My voice cracks as I try to speak so I take a moment to think of what to say, “Parents.” I finally settle on. 
Eddie just nods and pulls me in for a hug, not caring that I’m soaked from head to toe. Wayne finishes putting on his other shoe then walks over to Eddie.
“She can stay as long as she needs, okay? Don’t worry about it. I’ll bring some stuff home after my shift.” Then he pats him on the shoulder and heads out into the pouring rain that you just escaped from.
Eddie keeps holding me while I cry into his chest, wishing that this nightmare of a life was over. As I calm down I can hear him spftly whispering things to me.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you. You’re safe here. I love you so much baby.” The words fill my heart with warmth and happiness that I can’t help but to stop thinking about my parents.
I sadly pull away from Eddie, missing his warmth and look up at him, “Thank you.” My voice is still weak but it’s less strained than before.
“It’s nothing. I told you I’m always here for you, I don’t care when you come over as long as I know you’re safe.” He plants a kiss on my temple, “Can I start a warm bath for you? I don’t want you to catch a cold from these wet clothes.”
This. This is the Eddie everyone needs to see, if they did they would understand him the way I do. This sweet and caring boy who only wants the best for those he loves and cares for. I couldn’t have wished for anyone more perfect than him.
I nod my head and follow him as he leads us to the small bathroom next to his bedroom. He turns the faucet on and tests the temperature before turning back to me.
“I’ll set out some clothes on my bed and here,” He grabs a towel from the hall closet, “Is a towel for when you’re done. I’m just gonna be in the living room, so call if you need anything okay?”
“Thank you.”
“You already said that sweet girl,” A smile spread across his face, showing off his signature dimples.
“I know, but I want you to know that I really mean it,” I give him a quick kiss before he’s heading out into the living room again.
I quickly strip down, tearing the wet clothes from my body with some struggle, before finally getting into the warm water that Eddie prepared. The heat immediately starts to soothe my aching muscles and joints, the feeling bringing a wash of relaxation over me.
I wash myself off and clean my hair with Eddie’s coconut shampoo and conditioner. I always love the smell when he’s fresh out the shower and the scent is the strongest. After I’m thoroughly cleaned I get out and dry myself most of the way, only missing a few spots on my back.
I exit the bathroom and am blasted with a wave of cold air, sending shivers up my spine. I head into Eddie’s room to change and dry my hair. I walk in and notice that he left out his favorite Hellfire short and some grey sweats for me to wear, even if they both are over sized I love the gesture. I throw them on and admire the fit in his mirror before heading out to Eddie in the next room.
“There she is!” Eddie says, opening his arms wide, “How ya feelin’?” I walk over and snuggle up next to him, engulfed in the scent and warmth of him once again.
“Better. Still a little cold though,” I nuzzle further into him, not that there’s much room between us already.
“Well you’re in luck. I looked in the pantry and found some hot cocoa mix and mini marshmallows. I got your mug sittin in the kitchen,” Before I could even try to get it myself Eddie is up and off the couch and in the kitchen warming up my cocoa. He comes back only seconds later with a large mug topped with far too many marshmallows.
“Thank you,” I say as I reach out and grab the mug with both hands. I take a sip and feel as the warm liquid heats me from the inside. “DId you add-”
“Peppermint and cinnamon, yes ma’am. I know what you like,” He winks at me. A blush creeps up my cheeks at the words but I hide my face in the delicious drink before he can see. Eddie turns away from me to grab a nearby blanket and toss it over my shoulders, but he doesn’t go back to his seat.
“Come back! I miss your warmth.”
“Yeah yeah in a minute I gotta put this movie on first,” He’s crouched in front of the tv shuffling through disks and tapes. A minute later he finds the one he was looking for with a triumphant “Here it is, that little bastard.”
I just roll my eyes at him as he sets up the movie. Finally done with that and anything else he might need to do, Eddie slides in next to me and cuddles in the blanket as well. We watch as the screen brightens and the opening scene of my favorite movie starts to play.
“Wait, how did you?” I look between the tv and the man next to me, who just has a smile on his face as he looks at my shocked expression. “I bought it a while ago, figured you’d be over a lot so I might as well start making it more homey for you.”
I am in too much shock to utter any words so I opt for smothering him in kisses instead. This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me and I can’t imagine anyone else sitting here next to me other than Eddie. We both burst out laughing before settling down and watching the movie before both of us drift off to sleep.
Eddie Taglist: @ali-r3n @dixontardis @witchwolflea @micheledawn1975 @daydreaming-mood @idfwfeelings @adaydreamaway08 @preciousbumplingbee @rustboxstarr @plk-18 @teary-eyed-egg @needylilgal022 @exploding-bonbon @gagasbee @eddiemunsonsguitarpic @aol19 @thatwitchyoucouldntburn @meanlilbean @sonnyahngel @corrodedcass @pigwidgeonxo @marsmunson86 @lottie-90 @figmentofquinn @sareim123122 @eddies-puppet @gvf23 @kennedy-brooke @rocklees-wife @emma77645 @cherris-n-peaches @breehumbles @joequinn-love @anyoddthoughts @aysheashea @eddiesskittle @uncxmfxrtablex @cherrymedicine13 @mrsjellymunson @shotgunhallelujah @bambipowerblueaddition @hexqueensupreme @josephquinnsfreckles @harrysgothicbitch @paleidiot @smurfflynn @lilyungpeanut @selena-rocker27
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Text
Bakugo when he’s sick
Katsuki is over worked.
He’s constantly having to push his body past it’s limits, running on empty for a few more weeks, then giving out when he least expects it.
It always starts with his shoulders being sore. You’re sitting at your dinner table watching him crank his arm back and forth. One…two…three…
“Does your shoulder hurt from patrol?” You’ll ask. And he’ll say no, he just slept on it wrong. Except it’s 8pm and he’s been doing his funky little chicken dance- where he cranes his elbow back, then forward, then back and back again- since he got home. Katsuki still lets you rub anti-inflammatory cream on them though. He never says no to your hands being on him.
The second thing that happens is his hands get rashes on them. A combination of sweat, heat, and friction from his gloves causes the skin to get irritated. It’s itchy or anything, but the skin gets scaly and dry which annoys him.
“Babe, where’s that stupid lotion ya got? I can’t find it with all your dumb girl shit everywhere.” He says as he rummages through your stuff on your side of the bathroom. Typical…but you find him the dumb lotion for his dumb hands and his dumb rash. You even rub it in for him too.
“Where’s your ring Katsuki? Did you take it off?” Because sometimes he does take it off to shower after work, however, he’s usually very good at putting it back on.
“On the night stand. It’s been bothering me. The bitch must have melted or something ‘cuz it’s super tight lately” he answers. “You outta take yours off too. All these petty villains around…that rock on your hand is just perfect for ‘em. Can’t believe the number of thefts we had this week….”
That’s the third tip off. Everything gets swollen and inflamed. His hands get sore, his ankles, his knees, every muscle, bone, and joint just can’t take the rebound of his attacks. Out of all his symptoms, this one is most annoying.
It’s so easy for Katsuki to play it off as soreness from work or training. He just needs more sleep. No, it’s his diet. He needs an extra helping of protein for a few days. Maybe he’s just not strong enough….these thoughts can go on for weeks. Silently they’ll eat at him. He doesn’t even realize he’s sick until he’s too far gone.
That’s when he finds himself in the bathtub. Foggy and throwing up over the side. With you pouring more ice in every half hour to bring his temperature down.
How many times has it been now. Four, five, six? In the last few months. It’s been too many. No matter how many times, you’ll pick him up from the agency after he’s gotten his ass handed to him during a mission and bring him home. You’ll struggle to pull his gauntlet and boots off, but somehow get him undressed and in the bath before he gets sick. Ew. It’s so gross every time, however, the doctors say that because of Katsuki’s over exertion his skin stops letting him sweat. As a result, all his nitroglycerin pools in his stomach and induces vomiting. Even if it’s absolutely disgusting, it’s a good thing he’s sick. Maybe this time he won’t shoot his heart rate up and pass out…
However, nothing stops yours from pounding all night long as you sit on the edge of the tub, fingers flicking wet hair from his forehead. ‘Poor dear’ you’ll think. Work is hard on him. Life is hard on him. You wish you could make it better, but all you can do is hold his hand and hope things take a turn soon.
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modelbus · 4 months
Note
YOOOO MODDLEE
yeah I did it again.
(Help I have a problem of disappearing into thin air)
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PART THREE OF CUT CHAOS SHEBSJNSUH
you said you would write 500 chapters.. but like obviously exaggerating..? (Kiddinggg)
tho a few more couldn’t hurt..
juuuust saying if you ever feel like it I will eventually see it and it will eventually make my week. <3333
BUT THATS NOT WHY WE ARE HERE! (I’m sorry my requests are always so long and dramatic bro I just brain like that)
Actual request:
ok so like I knowww cut chaos started from rumours but like rumours are an easy way to start plot lines k? (Also I use she pronouns out of habit but they is pog too)
the friends in question: Tommyinnit (duh), Wilbur (moosic boi), Ranboo (generation loss trauma guy), Possibly Slimecicle?? I know he’s not someone you do requests for normally buttt if you’re okay with it that would be POG, or if slime is a no, tubbo!
SO a few months ago Y/N started working on an SMP with some minimal custom mods, some fancy texture packs, maybe some data packs, and its like this BIGGG project, BUT its not public and its taking a lot of her time, so she can only really do a few streams and most of the time because her schedule is so full its hard to work out streams with friends so, she is alone. with the internet being the internet people started to think something was up, some annoyed viewers made a few rumours and people kept making things up and escalating things until people were saying she did all sorts of horrible things to “lose all her friends” but one of the most popular theories was that she was emotionally abusing them (??? Internet wildin ig) she ignored them while mostly finishing the stuff for the smp, but decided to address it in a very- y/n way. Getting four friends to come to her house and hide slightly off camera while she made a purposefully bad apology video only for them to jump out at the end and her to stand up and be like “YALL REALLY THOUGHT I WAS SOME MASTER MANIPULATOR?! I’M JUST A FUNKY LITTLE CHAOTIC MINECRAFT GOBLIN N’ I’VE BEEN WORKING ON AN SMP THIS WHOLE TIME!! ITS GONNA BE SUPER COOL AND THESE FOUR PLUS ALOOOOT MORE PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE THERE I’M POSTING THE CREATORS SOON AND ITS LAUNCHING IN A MONTH!, SO STOP ASSUMING I’M A BAD PERSON AND GET PUMPED BITCHES!” something along those lines, maybe at the end a little peek at what people are responding with. (Obviously no pressure, but like id be cool) (thanks for considering deity of the busses and models.)
HOW WE LIKING THE SILLIES?!?
P.S I’m not always an angst gremlin (just most of the time..) - ✨🌌🌙 Annon
I DO BE LIKING THE SILLIES (and thank you for elevating me to the level of deity, my ego has been inflated)
Pairing: Cc! Wilbur, Tommy, Ranboo, Charlie Slimecicle x Gn!Reader (platonic)
Roaring Rumors
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Life was all about sacrifices.
Or, that’s what you keep telling yourself when you’re up at 1AM working on your server. Putting together an SMP is harder than it sounds; texture packs, data packs, comparability, world-building, even the (seemingly) simply act of contacting people to play on it. For the amount of time you spent on your computer, your hands might as well be part of your keyboard.
Sleep wasn’t the only thing you sacrificed. Streaming, even just fun ones with your friends, had quickly became rare. Although you loved to hop on a call while coding still, your online presence had severely receded.
You just keep telling yourself that sacrifices are necessary. That the payoff would be worth it.
And it really would be, but you just had to get there first. Which was proving harder than you had thought.
At the very least, you still had your friends. Wilbur sitting silently on call with you while you work, Tommy dragging you out of your room, Ranboo always willing to get excited over your progress. Every day you woke up with a text from your groupchat—typically Charlie—just filling you in on the latest internet trend by a meme.
Today, your news comes from Wilbur and Tommy.
“I think they’re canceling you.” Wilbur says casually while you’re in the midst of detailing the hunger bar for a texture pack.
“Ooh, you’re a wrong’un!” Tommy yells in the background of Wilbur’s side of the call.
The three of you had been idly chatting while each doing your own thing. Wilbur and Tommy were engaged in some Twitter competition, as far as you know.
“Canceling me for what?” You ask, deciding to ignore Tommy’s shouting.
“Existing, I think.” Wilbur answers.
“So the normal.”
“The normal.”
Although the conversation stops there, you can’t help yourself. Later, during one of the few hours you dedicate to getting sleep to stay alive, you pull open Twitter on your phone. Your last tweet was nearly two weeks ago, so it’s been a minute.
But you just want to make sure nothing horrible happened while you were busy. You’re a content creator, this is normal. Definitely. You definitely aren’t just justifying this so you can do it.
You swipe through tweets, heading to trending and searching your name. Tweets load, making your mouth run dry. Wilbur wasn’t joking.
All you can do is scroll, reading as the messages get wilder and wilder. From people saying they were missing you to theories on why nobody was streaming you. Each one seemed considerably more implausible, and before you know it you’re glaring at your screen like it’s to fault.
Some thought you had grown apart.
Some thought you had a falling out.
And, apparently, a lot thought you were emotionally abusing them. Or, depending on the tweet, manipulating them.
Quite honestly, you didn’t even know how they got the idea. The long threads of explanations did nothing but send you into a spiral, biting your bottom lip so hard that it bleeds.
You were so close to finishing the SMP. It needed just a few things, then you'd be able to start scheduling to get it up and running. You didn't have the time nor mental capacity to deal with whatever the fuck is going on right now.
Is it a good choice? Maybe not. But do you still ignore the accusations? Hell yes.
-
By the time you get even closer to finishing the preparations for your SMP, you've come up with the perfect plan to address the (quite stupid) rumors. It'll be a two-in-one; you address the rumors and announce the SMP at the same time.
"How long do I have to lay on this floor?" Tommy asks, stretched out behind your chair.
"Nobody asked you to lay on the floor." Wilbur points out, standing next to your computer. Charlie, on the other side, laughs.
"Yeah man, you wanted to be down there."
"Besides, I'm doing great down here!" Ranboo chimes in.
You roll your eyes, grinning. "I'm about to start stream, so it won't be for much longer. Just wait for my cue, yeah?"
Tommy grumbles, but shuts up. You take that as your chance to start the stream, switching it off your waiting screen and waving to the camera. Your chosen stream title has brought in a bit more than your usual casual steam view number, "Talking about some serious stuff," leading people to believe there will be drama. And if it's drama they want, it's drama you'll give.
"Hello, hello!" You smile, leaning back. "So I've decided to talk about some things. Namely, the Twitter shit. I am so sorry for everything, and I mean that. A lot. Sincerely. There's meaning in it."
Tommy snorts, and from the corner of your eye you catch Wilbur kick him to shut him up.
"What am I sorry about?" You ask rhetorically, acting like you read it off of chat. "Oh, you know. People have been saying all types of stuff. The things about me manipulating my friends?" There's a pause while you let that sink in. "So, I'm sorry."
It's a purposefully shitty apology, but you sigh and act like its heartfelt for a few moments, nodding towards chat. Their messages are mostly confused, especially because it isn't one emote-only.
"Sorry you guys are so gullible!" You shout, and Tommy practically tackles you.
Wilbur's the one to fix your chair, Ranboo and Charlie appearing next to you within moments.
"You guys really thought this one could manipulate me? The master?" Charlie asks the stream, pointing at you.
"Yeah!" Tommy shouts, way too energetic for someone who complained five minutes ago about being on the floor. "We're the master manipulators! Get fooled!"
"I, for one, haven't manipulated anyone-" Ranboo starts, but Tommy slaps a hand over his mouth and nods empathetically.
"Yeah, I don't know what you guys were thinking, but I've just been playing fucking Minecraft for the past few months nonstop." You laugh.
"Nonstop. It's a problem." Wilbur nods.
"It is not a problem!" Pause. "Anyways, I made an SMP! And that's where I've been! Not because I've been manipulating my friends or some shit, stop being dumbasses."
"It'll be super cool!" Ranboo adds in helpfully.
"These four-"
"That's us!" Charlie points around at himself, Wilbur, Tommy, and Ranboo.
"-will be on it, plus a lot more. It'll be posting those people soon! As in, check your Twitter obsessively guys! The SMP will be in about a month, too, so get fucking excited! I want to see some hype!"
"WOO!" Tommy screams, making everyone cringe at having their eardrums ruptured.
"So that's all I wanted to talk about I think. Anything to add, guys?" You glance around at the four surrounding you with a grin.
"One thing." Charlie nods, leaning in really close. "I have a secret. This SMP, it's actually-" He hits your end stream button mid-sentence. "And that's how you keep 'em interested."
-
Ycgmaenthusist NEW SMP NEW SMP NEW SMP NEW SMP
Mammalianeighingreflecenthusiest We are dumb as fuck aren’t we
Poabsenthusiest i will RIOT IN THE STREETS if any of yall be mean to MY STREAMER -> Cmwylenthusist FR I GOT TWO FISTS AND A CAUSE
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harlowarchives · 8 months
Note
I got an request girly!
One is just for fluff with jack - so maybe the reader is secretly planning an vacation for Jack because all he does is work and Jack get suspicious about it. But at the end he’s just super happy and emotional.
I’ll send some more soon😉
❝ sex on the 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇!
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hi my babies! so this is 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 my second post of the day depending on how long this takes but thank you sexy for the request, i love you guys 𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐎𝐘.
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↳ listen to sex on the beach by partynextdoor, unthinkable by alicia keys & passion fruit by drake.
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𝐍𝐎 warning today, all fluff & language!
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After a long day, you were ready to jump into bed with your husband but he was nowhere to be found. “Baby!” You called out a grin on your face, no answer. “Jack, I'm home.” You rubbed your temples & walked toward his office, he was writing in his book with his headphones on. He looked over & held a finger up as you rolled your eyes fluttering your lashes, you walked toward him & placed your hands on his shoulders massaging all the spots that were usually sore “Babe, I'm sorry but I need to focus. You know I love your massages.” Jack said with an apologetic look on his face. You sighed and walked out of the room & began concocting a plan to get him out of the office, you sat on the couch and started making calls to clear his schedule. You were close with most of his partners & associates so getting them to extend deadlines was easy, they all knew Jack needed the break.
Three hours later you were done, you had successfully & single-handedly cleared Jack’s schedule & booked a vacation to Morroco.
You sat on the couch hearing Jack’s office door open as he walked down the hall “Baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be so dismissive earlier you deserve more attention than that, but these deadlines god so exhausting I have a studio session tomorrow I apologize Y/N.” Jack walked toward you & sat on the couch kissing your neck but you just nodded “Yea, um hm.” You looked at your phone looking at things you could do on the trip “Y/N for real?” He groaned looking at your screen but you quickly turned it so he couldn't see what you were planning. “What are you doing?” he spoke attempting to pull your phone from your hand but failing “Yo, who are you talking to?” he said slowly emphasis on every word pinning you against the couch, you didn't budge. “Nobody, J. I'm going to bed,” You grumbled walking to the bedroom.
At around midnight, Jack couldn't sleep he heard your phone buzz. A text appeared on your phone he picked up your phone, and a message from an unknown number ‘Done, but you can thank me later you know how doe ;)’ Jack sat up in the bed. He was fucking pissed off, he sat awake for hours until he couldn't think about it anymore.
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» 𝟎𝟎𝟏. morning!
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You woke up to cook Jack’s favorite breakfast, and after thirty minutes the bedroom door opened Jack walked into the kitchen pouring a glass of orange juice “Good morning, babe.” You placed a kiss on his neck smiling from ear to ear “I made your favorite, I know you've been working really hard and my baby deserves the best.” You looked at his face he was clearly annoyed, “Jack?” concern in your tone “Let me ask you a question you know, how hard I work yet you give up on me that fast because I didn't give you attention? Come on what the fuck!” Jack visibly getting more upset, “Huh?” you had no idea what he meant. “Really Y/N? Dude who texted you at 12 or hiding your phone.” You handed him your phone “Show me.” You demanded as he unlocked your phone with face id. He showed you the message “Look that number up in your phone J.” You began to laugh as he pulled out his phone, Drama’s number coming up. “Why was Drama sending smirking emojis?” You laughed in defeat “Jack, I'm taking you on vacation.”
His face changed “I know you've been wanting to go to Morroco & I pulled some strings to clear your schedule for three weeks. I have to bake 400 cupcakes for him but being with you was worth it.” His mouth quickly formed into an ‘O’
“You went out of your way to do that for me?” A smile spread across his face. “Jack when we said those vows I meant every word, I’d do anything for you.” You smiled, as he opened his arms “C’mere, pumpkin.”
He smiled “Thank you. I'm sorry for even thinking you'd do that I know you wouldn't I'm tweaking because I haven't been getting any sleep & I have a lot on my plate, still no excuse.” He said his hand on the back of your head, your face buried in his chest.
“I love and appreciate you, you're the most amazing wife I could ever ask for.”
𝐒𝐎 𝐡𝐨𝐰'𝐝 𝐢 𝐝𝐨? 𝐥𝐦𝐤.
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🏷️ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒 ⁱ : @lexxlovesjack @iknowdatsrightbih @iheartharlow @livsters @honeyharlows @killatravtramp @jackmanduh @itsyagirljaz
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strayheartless · 9 months
Text
I’m thinking of liverpepper… and it’s making me sad.
So here, have a AU brain dump over cloud and his Geostigma:
I know we’ve seen Mako drawn as tablets, but I kind of imagine Clouds Mako days as being either injections like steroids or him having to go to the hospital for specific mako treatment, like chemotherapy.
Cloud was off school a lot. As a result he had to work twice as hard as everyone else just to keep up and graduate. His friends always brought him his homework, but there were some teachers (you know the ones) who made him feel guilty about how often he got laid up.
Like it got bad enough that now Cloud kind of has a complex about it as an adult, and Leon has to keep reminding him that he’s not weak for letting his body heal.
We know (from sora) that Mako used to affect his memory, make him pretty much a zombie. But I imagine that it’s worse straight after treatment. Like he’ll be in bed for two or three days but then for the next week -maybe two if it’s bad- Cloud kind of used to walk around in a haze. Squall, Zack, Tifa and Aerith used to tag team on who would guide him from lesson to lesson.
Squall used to act as a bit of a body guard with Zack. If anyone dared gossip about Cloud or try to make his day more difficult while he was vulnerable, they’d end up having the terrible twosome descend on then. Turns out there a lot of ways you can threaten someone without getting caught.
Cloud didn’t stop taking Mako until age 18. And he absolutely has been hospitalised by it.
He’s had Mako poisoning twice, and each time people truly thought he would die.
He was part of a clinical trial for materia to begin with, and it meant he had to forgo Mako treatments for 4 months (to get it out of his system) before they could start him on Materia.
Those four months were probably the most fraught and painful of his life. He spent most of it asleep and in agony, while Squall refused to leave him ‘just incase’. The entire friend group rallied to try and make it easier.
The first month on Materia was also not fun. Lot of knew side effects while his body got used to it. Some got easier, some he still has. He doesn’t suffer from tinnitus or depth perception issues anymore, but he still has periodic bouts of insomnia. He also deals with almost chronic heart burn.
Materia doesn’t effect his memory like the Mako, but it doesn’t help either. The Mako did a serious number on his brain tissue, and while doctors are sure his brain will recover, it seems to be a long arduous process.
Sometimes Cloud requires a mobility aid. Sometimes a cane, sometimes crutches, sometimes -if it’s bad- he needs a wheelchair to get round a supermarket or mall. It depends on the day, the spoons and the sores.
The first thing Cloud demanded be done when they adopted Sora and Roxas, was that they get them checked for the Geostigma Gene. He knows they are not - biologically speaking -able to get it from him, but Leon agrees just to settle Clouds anxieties about it.
Nowerdays his Geostigma is the most manageable it’s ever been, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Lockdown was scary In their house. It’s no exaggeration to say Squall whipped down every surface, sanitised every piece of food packaging, made sure anybody with even a sniffle quarantined as soon as it happened. And Cloud -for all his griping that it was fine appreciated it.
after lockdown rules started easing Sora and Roxas started feeling super anxious about going out incase the brought something back. Because it wasn’t a joke to them.
Cloud himself dealt with a sudden surge of powerful anxiety even going out the front door.
Squall got him one of those sunflower lanyards, that lets people know you are immunocompromised, and it helps a little, but they all felt different about going outside.
These are just a few thinly thoughts.
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sumire-no-nikki · 6 months
Text
To Be Here
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October. My beloved October. The kotatsu blanket is back on, the indoor plants don't need as much watering, the fallen leaves in the backyard need sweeping and the Summer clothes have been put away. Funny how many friends I've recently chatted with about the bliss that comes with October. It's a burst of orange ochre and apple red in my head. When the season turned, the sun who has since made herself scarce is a warm embrace whenever she pokes her head out. The wind and clouds are constant companions. The evening is perfect for mysterious reads under candlelight. What a splendid month.
As I am typing this, however, October is nearly done. Something this good always leaves too soon, doesn't it? I love the first taste of cold after the pesky Summer heat and September’s false promises of colder days. October is where it really gets going. But it's always nearly done before I feel like I can properly savor it. How melancholy!! But isn’t that how it always goes? Love is more deeply felt after only the crater it left is the one thing you’ve got to remember it by? Love defined by the lack, the absence, the loss? There will never be enough Octobers for me. I’m a creature of want in this way, yearning is an instinct for me. I watch the days go by and the thought that there won’t be another October until next year is like quicksand for my mind.
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That said I’ve spent the month working diligently and on the whole being rather productive in both work and personal matters. There’s this project I’ve started and making good progress on! Once completed I promised myself a trip where I can apply what I’ve learned and I’m so excited to reach that goal. I’ve also read a lot this month. I really surprised myself. I’ve read six books and the month isn’t over yet! I read two Agatha Christie books, all three of the Toshikazu Kawaguchi series (the fourth one is coming out next month!! And I’ll have to read the fifth one in Japanese because I don’t want to wait for the translation to come out!!!) I also read Matt Haig’s The Midnight Library as recommended by a friend and I'm so glad she brought it up! I've had a copy of it for ages but just never managed to pick it up due to associated memories (it was given to me by someone during a bad period in my life!!) I swear that book might've just saved my life. I also finished two manga volumes in Japanese this month. It's a series called Yotsuba&! which is just the most wholesome series. Maybe I'll talk about it someday on here. But that series is such a light in my life. I picked it up on one particularly tough day last week and it instantly revived hope in my heart that there's still good out there no matter what.
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Other things I've been up to: I've been running a lot these days and I'm actually surprising myself with how much I enjoy it. Earlier today (I'm typing this before bed) I went on a run while it was drizzling. I felt like a kid playing in the rain. I couldn't stop smiling!
Also, the podcast show I mentioned some entries ago!! Case 63!! It has a season 2!! Actually, I found out it's originally by a Chilean writer, so the version I listened to is an English adaptation. Anyway, I'm so happy there's more of it. Season 3 is the final season in Spanish so I expect the English adaptation of that will also be made (since they went so far as to continue with season 2). Fingers crossed! I'm so intrigued as to how it will end!!
As for TV, I started and finished watching HBO's Barry in like a week. I was absorbed!! All four seasons! Mind you, each episode is only 30 mins so it wasn't really that long. It's such a funny and dark show I love it so much. I've heard good things about it through the years but I never found the time to get into it. Plus I have this terrible illness of "I-Can't-Get-Into-Things-When-It's-Super-Mainstream-I-Need-To-Wait-Until-The-Hype-Dies-Down-itis" lol. No, seriously I just didn't feel like getting into a new show until this month apparently. But I'm so glad I watched it. The show is a goldmine, the best Hollywood/LA culture satire I've seen in ages. The way it highlights the gender gap in the workplace, how a writer must compromise on truth in order to sell something, even the way a woman needs to be a "perfect victim" in order for her story to be worth anything! It's so witty!! And the central question of can people truly change--I'll be thinking about this show for a long time. It's so good. Watch it if you can.
Early this month I also managed to sneak a quick trip to Croatia and Slovenia which was so relaxing and peaceful. Trips can be quite stressful for me especially when it's a big city full of tourists due to my OCD (I'm looking at you Paris, and literally all of Italy smh... jk jk) But this trip was restorative and gave me a genuine sense of discovery and wonder, which is what I aim to travel for.
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I've been listening to the new Mitski album and rethinking my home library's organisation system! I haven't decided yet but I mainly want my Classical Mythology books, both fiction and non-fiction in one area. Also wishing I bought two Caryatid statues in Athens last year instead of one! Would've been nice for her to have a buddy!!
Now, the title of this entry comes from a realisation I had this month--a very important one. As someone whose nature is to think and think and think, it's difficult to be in the present. I'm always in agony over the past, and anxious about the future. I can be quite dismissive of what's in front of me as a result. This is a chronic issue of mine. But while reading The Midnight Library, tucked in my reading chair, savoring the scent of a pumpkin pie candle, all the pieces of advice I've read both online and in person suddenly clicked.
When writing a first draft of a novel, it simply needs to exist.
When making art, it simply needs to be there.
When yearning to do something, I must attempt it
When wanting to exist, I simply am.
I just need to be here in the most literal sense. To be. Not in the past tense, not in the future tense. There's no need for qualifiers. There is no standard to fulfill. I know this is neither new nor revolutionary, but in the embrace of an October evening, digesting this advice and accepting it made me feel so brave.
It hit me like a sucker punch. I thought, I need to untangle my sense of self and my worth from anything external. I cannot keep on doing this to myself. Because the truth is if I don’t stop this constant self-flagellation, I have simply replaced my mother in adulthood. I will have been no different from her and her constant need to criticise me. This is something I've been actively trying to improve recently and I can feel myself getting better. I feel, somewhat ironically, that by being present, I'm regaining a sense of hope that I haven't felt since childhood. Like somehow my past is healed and my future is assured.
So despite how much I've gone on about loving October at the beginning of this entry, as much as I know I will miss it, I have to be where I am. That means accepting that all things end--good or bad. That means being in November when it comes. That means understanding that what I've lost, while dearly missed, is out of my grasp now. That means what will happen to me is tomorrow's business.
This entry's song I've repeated to death (which is a very good thing) this month. It's by an artist I really enjoy. I cannot wait for new material from her and this new single is a sign of really good things to come!
I leave you with a photo of a friend I made while out on a walk. What shall I name him?
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Have a wunderbaaahhh rest of Octobaaaahhh! 🐑
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filthforfriends · 1 year
Text
Chapter 9
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Alpha!Damiano x Omega!Reader
Yes twice in a week<3
The sound of three seatbelts being undone rouses you before Dami has the chance. The first thing you do is check if your scarf has stayed in place. It had. Damiano’s over reaction might have been a dead giveaway, so the whole charade could be pointless. It’s not your peers' judgment that worries you. Most of the alpha-omega population was marked for the first time in high school or secondary education. However, the judgmental stares of nosy parents as you pick your way to your seats was slightly unnerving. 
You sat five rows back from where the coaches stood, greeting all of them. How one smile was supposed to smooth over yesterday was beyond you until you saw Dami’s smile. Waving cheerfully, you do your best to emulate everyone’s disposition. 
“You gonna be okay for a minute?” Dami asks, plopping the three blankets you settled on down.
“Yeah, yeah, go ahead.” He nimbly jumps down the bleachers and vaults over the railing onto the sidelines. Although Damiano is out of sight, you can hear when the team sees him from their cheers. The whole amphitheater is loud, especially some screeching coming from the unofficial omega section. Turning to see who’s making all the god damn noise, you realize it's Emmaline trying to get your attention.
“Oh, hi!” you wave. Her and Athena aggressively beckon you over, a request which you only heed to stop bringing attention to yourself.
“Starting early are we?” They burst into giggles as you seat yourself in the middle. Really, you should have been smarter, because a tipsy Emmaline starts pulling down your scarf. You smack her hand away.
“For fuck’s sake,” you hiss, giving her a scorching, dirty look. 
“Sorry, sorry,” she chortles, throwing her hands up like a robber. “I don’t know why you’d want to hide it. Damiano’s gorgeous.” A raging flare of jealousy is your first indicator that the mark is taking effect. Dami’s beauty was an objective fact and Emmaline was mated to Lars. 
“I just don’t want to announce it to everyone all at once. My family doesn’t even know.”
“Then why the hell risk coming here??”
“Em, you know what happened yesterday,” Athena whisper yells. She bends over so she’s not audible to other attendees.
“But he can’t even play! What’s the fucking point of dragging her out here at the ass crack of dawn on a Saturday?”
“I honestly don’t know either,” you pipe up. Emmaline may have been rude, but she alway said exactly what she meant. A whistle indicates the start of the game, and you all take a moment to cheer Romero on. Manchu Sport ran onto the field, from the opposite side, in some offensively neon green uniforms. As soon as her attention isn’t on the field, Athena glances back and forth between the two of you incredulously.
“Because someone started a rumor that she found him! And that, y’know…it wasn’t just a normal fight. Does Lars not tell you anything?”
“I did find him,” you respond. For the first time in possibly their entire lives, Athena and Em are speechless. Someone on the coaching staff or in the collegiate sports office had treated Dami’s full blown health crisis like a fictional tabloid anecdote. It made you murderous.
“He’s not actually dangerous if you don’t threaten him,” you justify. 
“Uh, well not to you because you’re marked,” Athena challenged.
“He marked me after.” Em and Athena are shocked, and maybe even a little impressed. If they had actually seen Dami in an episode, like his team mates, they’d know he wasn’t a violent monster. This fact was evidenced by Romero Soccor’s warm greeting. Of course, it only takes one little lying shit whose inadequacy complex is triggered by Damiano.
“Wait, where are you getting your information? This is supposed to be private.” Athena looks at you with pity.
“There was a basketball tournament this fall. Some error by the referee at the semi-finals. Oceanna was supposed to play Romero in the finals, but they got disqualified super last minute and Dam had to play his old school.” You realize that you don’t even know the name. Asking now would make it seem like Damiano withheld information from you.
“There wasn’t any warning and there was no one to sub in,” Athena continues. “If he didn’t play we’d have to forfeit so –”
“So of course he agreed to play, anyways,” you fill in.
“And we won by a landslide,” Emmaline adds, proudly. “But they were sore losers. Asked for a rematch, but we won the whole tournament.”
“In retribution the couple of seniors that knew Damiano was forced to switch schools started talking to our seniors. Eventually someone, somewhere leaked the why.”
“Sadistic cunts,” Em curses.
“PTA vultures.”
“Sadistic PTA vulture’s cunts,” she compounds.
“So how many people know?” 
“Star was trying to keep it quiet,” Athena sighs.
“But now…” you prompt.
“About a third of the team knows and a few of their omega’s. A lot of people just thought he was upset yesterday. It’s a coveted secret. Knowing is a sign of seniority, so it’s not spreading like wildfire.”
“Yet,” you groan, resting your face in your palms. “He’s not even a threat to betas or omega’s, ever.
“Really?” Emmaline exclaims. “Christ, they made it seem like – ow!” Athena kicks her hard so she stops talking. You’d been so enraptured in conversation that you didn’t notice Damiano’s presence until he was right behind you.
“Hey,” Dami greets you warmly. He sits on the riser above you, arms draped around your neck. You tilt your head back for a kiss. It's just a peck because the position is awkward. He rests his face against your scalp and breathes in deep.
“What's it been? An unbearable 12 minutes without her?”
“Actually I believe it’s been 13 minutes and 5.2 seconds.”
“So basically an entire lifetime.” Em and Athena tease.
“Fuck off,” Dami mutters, lifting his face after a few moments. “I was just checking on you. You looked stressed.” You place one hand on Damiano’s cheek and turn to gaze up at him. His big, soulful eyes stare down at you adoringly and you forget to answer his question. He cradles the base of your skull, fingers threaded in your hair. Dami kisses your forehead and you allow your eyes to fall closed, just focusing on the sensation of his skin on yours. This was your little safe haven, where your mind went quiet and all the complexity of the world fell away. This was simple, animal. 
When Dami pulled away, your fingertips fell to his jawline. He caught your hand in his, kissed it, and placed it in your lap.
“Whatcha talking about?” Lying doesn’t even cross your mind.
“You.”
“Me?” he asks. His infelction and expression are so cheerful that you hope Dami will allow you to elaborate later.
“Yeah, about how it took y/n six days to get your mark. Couldn’t even hold out a full week.” Dami’s eyes don’t move from your face. Instead of being offended by Em or emasculated, he grins.
“I assume they’re not this mean to you?”
“Definitely not, but I can come sit with you if you want?” It was adorable that Dami might miss you from only a few yards away.
“Take your time, I’m just checking.” He gets up and returns to his family. 
“So he’s clingy, '' Em narrates. Damiano settles next to Sandro, pointing at something on the field. You quickly scan the auditorium for what everyone else is doing, and find yourself being watched by half a dozen people. Not glanced at in curiosity, but examined. You check to see if Dami has noticed, but he’s blissfully oblivious. His parents on the other hand, Isabella especially, are hyper-aware. She keeps looking back and forth between you and the spectators. 
At first you wonder if it’s your fresh mark, but that's far from newsworthy.There was an omega at the far end of your section whose mark couldn’t be more than a week old and was being spared no glances. Under Isabella’s strategic gaze, you finally realize your role today.
“Oh my fucking god,” you groan.
“What is it?”
“I’m the evidence. I’m here because I am the evidence that Damiano isn’t vicious and out of control. They’re all fucking looking at me,” you hiss, ducking. Athena and Em glance around themselves.
“I wouldn’t say all –”
“Sadistic PTA vulture’s cunts.” Emmaline announces the words louder than necessary while looking behind her.
“Mm-mm, I am the wrong person for this job.” You put a hand to your chest as it tightens, then lower that hand because people will blame your distress on just speaking to Damiano. “If I have a panic attack they’ll blame it on him.”
“You’re not gonna have a panic attack,” Athena soothes, taking your hand and squeezing it. Emmaline does the same on the other side. 
“Just pretend that you’re sick.”
“They’ll blame that on Damiano too. ‘Did you see his girlfriend? I’ve never seen any omega look so ill after being marked by a normal alpha.’” You impersonate these apparently hobbyless, prying alpha parents in a nasal voice.
“Well, shit,” Em deadpans.
“Am I gonna be in the spotlight forever?” you worry. “People are always gonna be prejudiced. How much of my life is gonna be fighting this bullshit because I love someone with AD2? I am not a shiny person.”
“I’ll pretend to be sick,” Em decides. “Ready, set…” She stands up to cheer like she’s wasted. Nothing has happened on the field. Then she takes a long drink from her suspicious coffee mug, wobbles, and pretends to gag. So you and Athena rush her out of the bleachers and into the first bathroom. Once the door is locked, you sink to the floor, dropping your head between your legs.
“Okay, listen. You only have to control what people think, if you care what they think,” Em points out.
 “There are laws and protocols in place to protect the rights of people with hormonal dysfunction. Just get through the next year and change, then you can do it your own way.” You focus on taking slow, deep breaths, thinking that scenting would be really helpful right now. “And if Dam takes a job where he only interacts with omegas and betas, then the whole thing is mute, anyways.”
“But Damiano is so stuck in this way of being. You have no idea how fucking difficult it can be.” Athena looks at you helplessly.
“That boy would walk on glass for you.” Emmaline declares this as if Dami’s commitment was ever in question.
“But I don’t want him to! I want his life to be easy!” The room falls silent. Never did you imagine that Em and Athena would be your confidants in anything. 
“I used to have playdates with Dam, when we were tiny. Isabella has always had a stick up her ass. She makes things seem harder than they are. Just…look at this again in a couple days.”
“Reevaluate,” Athena agrees. You nod, trying to shake off the anxiety. Now that you’d dodged the panic attack from, everything was uphill. At least that’s the platitude you kept repeating to yourself while walking back to the amphitheater because it had to be true. 
“Very impressive performance by the way Em.”
“Thank you, thank you.” She stops to take a bow and wave at a fake audience. Knowing you’re going to be observed, you school your face into an annoyed friend and go straight to Dami. He’s standing up, back to the field, having a heated conversation with his mother. When Damiano sees you his shoulders relax and his focus shifts.
“See?” Isabella gestures towards your approach. Dami folds you into a tight hug which your return. For a few seconds, you don’t have to think about what your face is doing. Based on how tense he was, Dami probably wanted to go find you and his mother insisted he remain seated. Doing otherwise would be fuel for rumors.
You and Damiano sit on a quilt. It’s a nice alternative to cold, metal bleachers that have made you butt numb. He also threw a blanket across your laps. You could feel his concerned gaze on you. Concealing your distress for his own good had you twisted up inside and he could sense the conflict below the surface.
“Later. We’re good.” He nods, expression unchanged, and pecks your lips. The game drags on, and while being tucked under Damiano’s arm is wonderful, the sensation that you’re being watched prevails. It makes you want to crawl out of your skin. At one point, you throw your legs over Dami’s lap so you can press your face against his coat and pretend to sleep. He can probably feel that you’re faking it right now, just as you could sense last night. He strokes your hair and fiddles with your scarf, attentive in a way that makes your chest feel warm despite everything.
When the crowd is focused on whether or not a goal is about to be made you pull Dami’s jacket aside and press your nose to his scent gland. He smells like the first warm rain of spring, when everything comes alive in the greenest hue of green. He also smells like you. Unfortunately this scent won’t stay on him permanently until you mate. On the other hand, his smell is now gaining prevalence in your pheromones because of the mark. It’s a sweet musk, the perfect encapsulation of Dami’s alpha role within your relationship.
Damiano should pull away from you. Scenting is considered inappropriate behavior for a public setting. This is close enough that if someone in front of you were to turn around they’d think you were rude. Luckily, his giant hood and shoulder pads shield you from the back and side with a modicum of privacy. Instead of stopping you, Damiano sits completely still and allows you to enjoy his pheromones. Rather than just smelling, you breathe in with your mouth open and eyes closed. The subsequent effects are powerful enough that you’re satisfied, slowly pulling back.
“Better?” he murmurs, readjusting his jacket to its normal position.
“Yeah,” you sigh, lacing your hands together under the blanket. You realize that you can figure this out if you’re always on the same team. You’d have to stand by Damiano, even when it challenged you.
Unfortunately, the effects of your little transgression don’t last very long and you’re craving scenting again. You couldn’t do it here. Lord knows, what people would have to say if the both of you disappeared somewhere private. Not in the car, but maybe Damiano could walk you upstairs. It’d have to be really rushed.
“Damiano, is she asleep?” Isabella whispered. When he looks down at you, your eyes flutter open to lovingly meet his gaze.
“I think so,” he responds. 
“When we drop y/n off, we should meet her family officially. I think it's far past time for that, don’t you?” Yep, they knew. Rather than banish you, Isabella had made it public that you were Damiano’s committed girlfriend. Sure, you felt a bit like a prop, but it was weirdly validating.
“Yeah, okay.” Dami looks back down at you, eyes wide open and ready to admire him from any angle you were provided. His hair fell around your face like a curtain. For a brief moment, it was only you two. It seemed that you realized simultaneously that this position was very similar to one you took last night, where Dami had pulled you sideways into his lap and cradled you. Sure it was just your legs across his lap today, but the blankets and shelter of all the layers created intimacy. Dami’s cock twitched against your thigh and he winced. 
“Stop thinking about it,” you whispered.
“I can’t,” Damiano blushed.
“Think about the game.”  He sighs, readjusts uncomfortably, and focuses on the scoreboard. The hand holding Dami’s is toasty and you rub your thumb to and fro. Damiano looks back at you and his expression becomes somewhat pained.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he demands, in a whisper.
“Like what?” 
“Like…how you were.”
“This isn’t how I looked when you knotted me,” you defend. Dami’s eyes go wide and he shakes his head. You’re not sure about what, speaking so softly it's not as if anyone else could hear.
“Why would you bring that up?” he hisses. Damiano’s cock jumps against your thigh again.
“I thought that's what we were talking about.”
“But don’t actually say it. That makes it so much worse.” You shrug and Damiano focuses on the field with a heavy sigh. There probably wasn’t any discernible difference and this was all in his head. Testing your theory, you try to emulate the expression you’d used while play-fighting. Damiano had put you on your back and you’d looked at him like you’d never dream of disobeying him again.
When Dami compulsively went to check on you again he actually froze. You hadn’t thought it would do much at all. Instead, these barely negligible changes in expression had a huge impact. Manipulating Dami with just your eyes was dangerously fun, but he looked like he was about to blow a gasket.
“Christ, really?” You drop the facade and his chest heaves. The smirk that appears on your face might get you in trouble later, but you can’t help it. Dami untangles your hands and turns his attention staunchly forward. He gently pushes your legs off of his lap so you’re sitting upright. His other arm remains around your shoulders, perhaps for appearances. 
Your stomach is sinking at the knowledge you’ve upset him. Dami’s arm pulls back too, but only so he can rub your back. It’s those long, soothing strokes he uses to comfort. He’s not angry. In fact, his hand finds your waist and pulls you closer. At the same time his stoic expression is focused on the field, like he’s refusing to look at your way.
“Love?” you murmur. Damiano turns to you immediately. His face is attentive, nothing else. 
“Hey,” he jostles you, pulling the blanket up on your lap. Out of relief you kiss him, but Damiano doesn’t allow it to be more than a brief peck.
“I’m not mad, but I need to not have a boner when I stand up. Your legs putting pressure on my lap was not helping.” Dami drops his head so he can whisper in your ear.
“Oh.” You wrap both arms around his torso under his unzipped coat. “This okay?” 
“Mhm.” Damiano pecks your forehead, watching the game.
“I promise I won’t do that thing with my eyes again. You can look at me.”
“But staring at these disgusting, sweaty, muddy alphas is much more effective.” You decide not to take it personally.
“When you’re warming up and it’s windy, you all look like blue marshmallows with legs.”
“So the height of masculinity?”
“Exactly.” He squeezes you and leans his head against yours. The gesture roughly translates to thank you for understanding. 
Romero barely loses the game, with both sides yelling at the referee. Dami gets so invested that he spends the last 10 minutes on his feet with Sandro. His profanity laden encouragement, screamed at Star, ended with you covering your ears. Athena was just as into it, but you could see Emmaline rolling her eyes from across the amphitheater. When Manchu is announced as the winner, you do get on your feet because being the only one seated felt strange. Daminao beamed when he saw you heckling beside him.
Filing out of the bleachers, you realized this was going to be Act 3. The Davids greeted the coaches from over the railing while Dami sprinted onto the field, jumping several feet in the air. He greets his teammates: fist bumping, shoulder checking, and straight up shoving each other to the ground in good spirit. There are a couple stragglers who seem too intimidated to partake and stand a couple yards away.
  Leaning against a fence post, you wait at the entrance to the field. You want to be in Dami’s line of sight when he looks for you. As he scans his surroundings, you wait for him to find you. It has become one of your greatest joys, to watch the change in Damiano’s face from searching to locating you. He lights up. 
After exchanging a few more greetings, he heads towards you. A younger player, one of the stragglers. follows behind him. He probably wants to say hi now that Damiano is not surrounded by other loud alphas.
“Ready to go?” Dami calls out.
“I don’t know, are you boys done with that mating dance?” He chuckles, and in the background Lars flaps his arms like wings and hops. Another player follows along, squawking.
“I don’t know them,” Dami jokes, gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb. Of course, this only encourages the team’s antics. You’re so distracted that you don’t hear the scrawny player that had followed Damiano the first time he speaks.
“Oh shit, hey Mika. What's up?” Dami greets him warmly.
“I said, ‘you seem fine.’” You and Damiano look at eachother, trying to discern what the little shrimp was talking about. “You’re obviously fine, so why didn’t you play?” Dami is wracking his brain for anyone missing at yesterday’s practice, but you both realize that wouldn’t matter. This kid would be informed of the fight as soon as he stepped into the locker room this morning. He was trying to humiliate Dami, when all of Romero Soccer's attention was on him.
“Because the collegiate sports board isn’t a 7/11,” you snap. 
“But Julio was removed from the team. What’s there to evaluate?” Mika was smirking, trying to force Dami to out himself in front of dozens of spectators. Behind you, people were slowing down as they walked by. You scramble for an answer. Just cursing the little shit out was an omission of guilt.
“Nikolai.” You throw Damiano a life line and he takes it.
“I guess no one told you that either,” Damiano cringed. Pitying Mika for not earning inclusion in team conversations was so much more effective than attacking him.
“Nikolai is on probation and the board has to decide what to do with him.”
“Did you try to kill him too?”
“I didn’t try to kill anyone!” Damiano lashes out. You catch him by his wrist and pull him next to you.
“I just don’t understand why Nikolai and Julio aren’t even allowed to be here. Since, you’re obviously a danger to people around you. Everyone who knows agrees with me, but they just too scared –”
“You know I truly cannot imagine being this insecure.” Dami may not be willing to sink to Mika’s level but you’d happily make friendship bracelets with Hades. You’d take pleasure in crushing Dami’s enemies in the process of defending his honor. So he can see the confidence in your face, you look over to him. Damiano is petrified. Are you absolutely ready to go to war right here, right now, in front of god and everybody? Yes, but he’s not.
“Or should I say delusional. Everybody who? You’re the only one standing here. Literally look around yourself.” Mika does in fact, look around himself. “C’mon, let's go,” you pull Dami’s hand towards the parking lot. Before you can turn around, Mika recovers.
“That’s what I’m saying! They’re scared of him.” You force yourself to burst out laughing and look at Star from across the field. He understands that gaslighting is a group effort and starts chuckling, staring at Mika like he’s lost his mind.
“What the fuck are you even talking about? I’m actually so confused.” Acting as though the whole thing’s absurd was a shortcut to ruining Mika’a credibility. There's a place inside your heart where you know a shred of empathy should lay, but all that’s left is anger on your alpha’s behalf.
“I have no idea,” Star agrees. Mika’s head turns back and forth as he realizes the power of a vindictive omega.
“Julio attacked Dami. Dami defended himself. Julio got kicked off the team, but somehow Damiano is the unhinged, violent one? Julio isn’t even allowed to come to games!” People had stopped walking altogether, just to watch the spectacle. 
“Yeah, what are you even mad about?” says a voice you don’t recognize. 
“We lost because we were missing three of our best players and it's his fault! He shouldn’t even be on the team!”
“Thank you.” Damiano finally pipes up next to you. Everyone listening in has confusion on their faces.
“For saying I’m one of the best players on the team. That means a lot, man.” He even claps Mika on the shoulder while smirking. It’s his alpha smirk, his I know I’m the hottest one here smirk, his I have the power smirk. It means all his defenses are up, but also that he’ll be okay.   
Lars matches that expression, and suddenly Mika feels very small. Everyone has forgotten about the second sentence. He shouldn’t even be on the team. They’re all enraptured by this young, egotistical alpha being publicly humbled by his own.
“You should be thanking Dami, since you’re his alternate.”
“I’m not his alternate!” defends Mika.
“Oh, sorry I don’t know a lot about sports. What's it called when someone is only allowed to play if one of the good athletes can’t?” you ask Damiano. He scoffs and puffs his chest out.
“Good game, boys.” He raises his hand in farewell, and walks away, throwing an arm around your shoulders. You decide to keep the charade up as long as you’re being watched.
“That was so random. What is up with that kid?”
“I don’t know, maybe dehydration,” he shrugs, casually. Dami catches on so fast that you wonder if this isn’t the first time he’s had to perform.
“Are they gonna have to get him a doctor?”
“Maybe,” he sighs. “I sure hope not. I think he’ll feel okay after some electrolytes.”
“Is it ‘cause he’s never been on the field for a full game?” Usurping Mika’s last bit of credibility is vindicating. 
“I think…” Damiano squints his eyes while pretending to jog his memory. “Yeah, I think that’s the longest he’s been in a game.” A few seconds later you’re out of the crowd and walking across the parking lot. Sandro and Matteo are standing outside the car and Isabella comes up behind you, breathless.
“Good, that was good!” she assures, always watching. The best way to describe Damiano’s response to her words is that he shuts off. He shuts off his emotions, reactions, opinions, vulnerability, personality, affection. In the process he mutes your connection. The ways you can sense and anticipate each other is severed. When you reach out to understand it's like screaming into the universe’s largest expanse of emptiness. Sure, non-verbal episodes as a stress response weren’t uncommon with alpha-omegas, but this went so far beyond that. There’s no shape or light in the place you used to be connected. He’s not there. He occupies some other space, entirely unreachable.
You’d never appreciated your bond. It grew so gradually and paled in comparison to a mating bond. Now that Damiano had blocked everything out, your tethering point became a bloodied hole.
“Let me in. Let me in,” you whisper in his ear. The car was moving but your whole world felt at a stand still. Damiano hadn’t cared who sat in the middle seat. Now you had to wonder if he’d be compelled to protect you right now. No, you didn’t need his protection,  but after a year with a safety net that yawning chasm of fate feels less like a fact of life and more like inevitability.
 You try to hold Dami’s hand, but he barely responds. Even as you lean your forehead against his temple.
“Just let me in. You don’t have to let anyone else in,” you whisper. “Please, please, please, please.” Blocking someone less than a day after marking them had to be the height of cruelty. “Dami, you’re hurting me.” He doesn’t react. “Love, you’re hurting me.” Tears burn behind your eyes. Would this episode affect your mark? Would it develop normally or would this thrilling new intimacy be warped? 
“Just squeeze my hand.” You wait in rapture, knowing that he won’t punish you in an effort to punish himself. He’ll hold your hand back and you’ll start from there. You wait and you wait and that response never comes. If Dami wasn’t blinking, you’d assume he was unconscious, but even when you woke in the middle of the night it wasn’t like this. He wasn’t exhausted or preoccupied. Damiano was purposefully pushing you away with both hands and every ounce of his monstrous mental fortitude.
“This isn’t fair,” you whisper. “I want you just as you are.” Pressing a kiss to his cheek makes you realize that Damiano always leaned into your touches, ever so slightly. The meeting of your lips and his bare skin always changed his breathing. Now he’s a statue, like you mean nothing to him.
“There's something wrong with Dami.” Your voice shakes and the tears fall. Everyone looks at him. You expected someone to startle, instead it's as if they’ve seen it before. Sandro reaches across and shakes his knee.
“Dam? Damiano, c’mon. Dam?” Nothing. Your stomach turns and suddenly you can’t stand being in the same space as this creature who was once your boyfriend filled with energy and passion for life.
“Pull over.”
“What?” Matteo asks. “Here?” You nod.
“Pull over. Just pull over, it doesn’t matter.” He idles on the shoulder outside an abandoned industrial building. You clamber out of the car. After a few breaths of fresh air the nausea abates, but everytime you look at him it comes back. For the first time, you could describe the exact color and shape of Damiano’s soul. The weight, texture, and the way it shimmered in the sun, or sung with the wind on stormy afternoons. You could do all these things, because you now knew what he looked like without it.
“Can you hand me my backpack?” you cry, covering the ugly noises your mouth is making with one hand. Sandro picks it up and reaches across Dami’s body, handing it over. Damiano’s eyes follow. For a millisecond you can see him, cowering in the farthest corner of his brain. Or maybe you’re imagining it to stay sane.
“Sometimes the stress after an episode makes him non-verbal. We already know that it’s a normal –”
“No! This is not non-verbal. My sister Thalia goes non-verbal when she gets overstimulated. This isn’t – he’s not…” A sob shakes you so completely that you sit down in the grass. Matteo turns off the engine and switches on the hazard lights. Isabella gets out and walks around the car.
“These episodes are usually very short. He’ll probably be fine within the next couple days.”
“Fine?” you seeth. “A person does not go from that to fine in 24 hours, or a week, or probably a fucking month!” Part of you is aware that this isn’t the way to talk to your alpha’s mother, but a significantly larger part doesn’t care.
“I know the catatonia –”
“Catatonia!? He’s not there, Isabella. He’s not fucking there!” You point to your head while tears run down your face. “Do you understand? There’s nothing on the other end. He’s not there!” No beta could begin to comprehend this, but Isabella is an alpha. She takes a deep breath and nods and that's all you can make out between the sobs. Everyone's expressions are blurry, but you don’t care about their condemnation or absolution. Let them think what they want about your reaction.
“That is not stress! He’s – he’s just…he doesn’t want to interact with the world.” you sob, gasping for air. He doesn’t want to be here are the words you can’t bear to say. Isabella places a maternal hand on your back but enrages you rather than comforts. Isabella, who made Dami come to the game where he was ambushed and judged.
“If you knew this could happen, why make him go today?” you demand, furious. “You should have protected him! If he’d stayed at home this wouldn’t have happened!”
“Or something else could have triggered it.”
“And I could hypothetically get hit by a bus at any minute which is why I don’t walk into the street with my eyes closed!!” Outright screaming is a sign this interaction needs to end. “I’m sorry for yelling. I’ll walk home.” The words are mechanical, and you never meet anyone's eyes.
“Honey, that's going to be at least an hour,” Matteo calls. You can’t look back, already crying so hard that walking is difficult. Crying so hard you can’t even hear when the car drives away. Crying so hard that you don’t hear your mother trying to get your attention when she pulls up next to you.
“Y/n? Y/n? Darling, the Davids called me. They explained what’s going on.” You trip on the curb trying to get into the car. Landing on the asphalt reminds you of all the times Dami caught your clumsy ass, which just increases the despair. The ride home is a couple minutes, during which you try to get your shit together.
“Is Clio home?” you sniff.
“Yes, she is,” your mother replies evenly.
“Fuck,” you groan, rubbing your flushed face. 
“I’ll make sure she goes easy on you.” Walking into your house was a mix of emotions. At this moment you’d be dreading the Davids driving away and wishing you had more time with Dami. Right now, you miss Damiano, but can’t stand being around him.
As soon as you get your shit together it all goes to pieces again. First thing you do is take off your coat, Dami’s coat. The memory of how animated he was this morning is torture. After the shoes and the jacket you take off your scarf out of habit, revealing the evidence that you’d been marked. 
Crying some more while mom makes camomile tea only gives you a headache. When Clio walks into the kitchen, you know it’s about to hurt like a brain aneurysm.
“Are you out of your fucking mind? You’re 15!” she exclaims, first thing. “I’m gonna kill him for deceiving you like this. There’s things that you don’t even know about and –”
“I know,” your croak. “I know about all of it and I provided informed, enthusiastic consent, so you can fuck off.” 
“And the fact that you were okay with it is just evidence that you’re not old enough to make this decision, oh shit.” You burst into tears again. Clio takes three steps forward and crushes you in a hug.
“I’m gonna get snot all over you.”
“Don’t care. I’m going to castrate him with a butter knife,” she pledges.
“Please don’t. He’s not the reason I’m crying. I mean, he is, but not like that.”
“Then what’s it like?” she questions, harshly. Clio pulls back to look at your face.
“He didn’t hurt me, but he’s in a shitty situation. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him and I just feel so much empathy that I can’t – can’t” you gasp, followed by a sob. Mom hands Clio a paper towel for you to blow your nose. Clio analyzes you for a few moments, gaze scrupulous. 
“Come with me.” Your sister drags you to the bathroom and rips off the bandage. She must examine the bite for a full minute, before stepping back.
“I assume you’re checking y/n’s mark,” mom calls. “How’s it looking?”
“Immaculate,” admits Clio begrudgingly. “There’s nothing left for me to do,” she calls. “No discoloration, no sign of infection, no rash, no irritation, no discharge. I could put a bandage on it, but it’s already scabbed over.”
“Well, that’s excellent!” Mom is trying to interject as much positivity as possible into the conversation via her tone of voice.
“Maybe the bastard does care about you as much as you think he does,” Clio mumbles. This makes you smile, but then your eyes water.
“Sit sideways,” she demands. You sit sideways on the closed toilet lid so she can brush your hair. It's sort of her love language. Clio takes it down out of the jumbo scrunchie pensively. 
“I thought you lost this.”
“Lent it to Dami. There's a picture in the school newsletter. He kept it by his bed all week.”
“Sentimental bastard.” Clio pulls her phone out of her pocket and switches to your email. She stares at the picture in her nondominant hand while brushing with the other.
“Hmm” is the extent of her retort. After detangling she methodically applies hair oil and creates plaits. Mom brings you a cup of tea, communing from a seat on the edge of the bathtub. 
“So, yesterday?” she asks. You nod in return. The way Clio braided was way more complex than you had the patience to learn. Her beautiful, delicate hands worked painstakingly.
“I hope it was…I hope you feel content with it.” Clio radiates disapproval, but she doesn’t speak up.
“He was amazing,” you whisper, staring at the grout. “I wasn’t scared. I felt respected.” Even talking about Damiano in a hoarse murmur was almost too much. “It was my choice, all of it. I picked exactly when I got marked.” Mom nodded, shifting her grip on the tea mug, thoughtfully.
“You picked a good one,” she decided, then dropped the topic. Her and Clio chatted back and forth, just ambient noise. Your neck was stiff by the end of it, but the result was beautifully intricate. You admire how shiny your hair is in the mirror, no longer feeling the urge to blubber.
“Thank you.”
“It’s lovely work Clio.” She gives a tight lipped smile in response, standing with her hands on her hips.
“Stress is such a vague term,” she proclaims. You know it's in reference to the details mom had shared with her. This entire time Clio has been contemplating the situation.
“I think he really loves parts of his life, but sometimes it gets too overwhelming for him to tolerate. Isabella just accepts that, but I don’t.”
“And you shouldn’t,” Clio agrees. “His parents are being irresponsible.”
“I’m sure it's a very complex situation,” added your mother. Such a gentle mannered woman had ended up with three daughters that were all just different brands of incendiary. 
“They’re trying to do the right thing for him, but it feels like they never talk about it. There was just this protocol decided on at some point and they’re gonna stick with that forever.” Your mother nods in agreement and the bathroom is silent for a minute.
“Do you feel like now you could stand to be around him?” Clio asks, folded arms.
“Uh, yeah. Him shutting me out was just…too much.”
“It’s not about you though, he’s shutting everybody out.”
“He could have made an exception!” you snap.
“Or maybe he couldn’t,” Clio countered. “Maybe it was just too hard. Anyways, my point is that he needs you right now because you advocate for him. If that’s too much pressure, fine. That’s fair, you’re only 15.. But if it’s not, we should go.”
***
You call Isabella before leaving, just to make sure you hadn’t offended her to the point of banishment. Surprisingly, you hadn’t offended her at all. She thought your presence may be a great idea, but only as long as it wasn’t detrimental to your own health. You agree, when what you really want to say is that nothing could be worse for my mental health then the haunting void in my mind where Damiano used to be.
His room is dark: lights off, shades drawn. If not for his pheromones, you might not have known Dami was under all those blankets. At least he smelled the same, that was a comfort.
“Hey it’s me, here to ruin your peace and quiet.” He doesn’t respond, doesn’t move. “Make any sound if you want me to leave you alone.” Again nothing, but Dami had been absolutely silent since you left the parking lot. Trying to figure out if he’s asleep, you lightly place your hand on his back and can feel his heartbeat racing. He’s probably too anxious to sleep.
“How about, stay in that exact position if you want me to leave.” You brace for it to be like holding his hand earlier, but Damiano pulls up the corner of a quilt, inviting you to lay beside him. You squeal in excitement, crawling over.
He doesn’t pull you against him, but he does hold eye contact, which is his second effort to engage with the world around him.
“Look at you, being a chatty Cathy,” you wink. “Oh shit, was that insensitive? God damn it I never know when to stop talking and, oh no.” The preemptive embarrassment hits you. “Oh, it's just gonna be so much worse now, too,” you groan, before catching yourself. “But, like no pressure! Take all the time you need. In the meantime, I…well, we’re gonna need some sort of signal for you to tell me to shut up. Do you have a bell?” You sit up, evaluating the trinkets in reach for their usefulness. “Hmm, no bell, but maybe something else that makes noise? Oh, I know!” You sink down to the pillow again. “Get one of those spray bottles they use for cats that are misbehaving. Do you have a plant mister? I'm pretty sure they’re – mm!”
Damiano kisses you. He just lurches forward and puts his mouth on yours. Technique wise, it's your worst kiss, but you still throw yourself into it. One hand comes to cup the side of his face and you stroke his cheek. You try to coax him forth, into the kiss, but it doesn’t work. He doesn’t touch you and it wouldn’t matter if he had both arms wrapped around you. It’s sort of like kissing a stranger. It feels like you’re cheating on Dami.
Compared to the normal raging inferno, you’ve got no chemistry. It’s how romantic and sexual interactions were before Dami. This was the part that was so impossible to explain, how being alone in a closed room with the right alpha could be more compelling than actual sex with someone else.
“My love,” you coo, pulling Damiano towards you. Gentle wasn’t working, so your other hand snaked under his waist and around his torso. You throw your leg over his, trying to tangle your bodies together. Dami isn’t registering that the licking and pushing at his lips with your tongue is a request. Once he opens his mouth to take a breath though, you trace the inside of his lip. What a stupid mistake to think that French kissing would work well right now. In any other situation you’d give up, embarrassed. But Damiano was trying to engage after being so completely crushed by stress that he had a trauma reaction. 
“Okay, hey. Why don’t you just lay on top of me?” You flip into missionary position, arms extended. Dami gives you a strange look and awkwardly flops down. You’re hell bent on getting his face by your scent glands. 
“C’mere, baby. Come up here. Mhm.” You cup the base of his head and press Damiano’s face against your mark. He bumps it painfully with his nose and you wince. Physicality wasn’t why this worked well. It worked because underneath it all, you were highly biologically compatible. That was still intact, if you could just get him to open up and feel it.
“Think about how you smell,” you whisper, and wait a full minute. “Now focus on how I smell.” After a few seconds, Dami’s hand crawls up the bed, and laces itself with yours. Somehow, some way, that resonated with him. 
 “That mark is yours.” Your voice wobbles, but you keep the tears at bay. “I’m yours.” Without your explicit permission, your legs have wrapped themselves around Dami. The weight, heat, and smell of his body are all the same. You’re battling primal parts of the brain that interact minimally with your conscious mind. They’re screaming: I know who this is! We know who this is! 
Out of reflex, you internally reach for Damiano’s presence, already anticipating his absence. It still sucks. It feels like Dami is braced with his back to the door and you’re trying to donkey kick it open with both feet. It’s exhausting on both ends. 
“I smell so good because the diversity between our immune systems is compatible. Even in the ways we're different, we’re –” He shakes his head, growling against your neck. Damiano tries to create space, but you end up on your side, noses pressed together.
“You can feel it. I belong to you, so you marked me.” There’s comprehension in Damiano’s eyes. “Which is why you can smell yourself inside me. I’m y/n and I belong to you and I asked you to mark me so you don’t just get to abandon me. No!” you growl in frustration, as Damiano’s eyes switch to looking straight through you. He’s totally checked out in a way so unsettling it makes you nauseous. Mentally, Dami has wedged a chair under the door knob, but you’ve started to work on removing the hinges.
“Do you even care that you made love to me and knotted me and marked me and I liked it so fucking much even though it hurt? It was special! You don’t just get to…Stop pretending I’m not right in front of you!”.
Dami’s face crumples. He looks sickened with guilt, on the verge of tears. His expression breaks your heart, but at the same time you feel elated. This person, however tortured, was Damiano. He wants to run and hide so you use every ounce of your strength to keep him close.
“Stop pushing me away!” You attempt to make your voice commanding instead of petulant and desperate. Damiano tries to wrench himself out of your grip, but you both know it's bullshit. Damiano is incredibly strong. So if he really wanted to be free, he could throw you across the room. Or he could inflict pain to make you let go. He does neither. This is why you decide, possibly against your better judgment, to force the issue. 
“Let me in. You can do it, it’s just me.” Damiano turns his face away, which you use as an opportunity to press your lips to his ear. “Mine. Mine, mine, mine.” The reminder that he belongs to you, just as you belong to him, is too much. Or perhaps claiming him, as he tried to run from himself, was what earned rejection. Either way, Dami flips over and turns his back to you.
“Damiano, I am proud to be your omega. Damiano, you are brave. You are loved. You are in control.” He lashes out and bites your arm. The mark won’t even last until tomorrow. Instead of moving it out of range, you reposition your forearm to the exact spot it rested when Dami nipped you. This upsets him enough to let out a angry whine of betrayal for the apparently unforgivable crime of believing in him.
“Damiano, I’m proud to be your omega.” Now he exerts some strength, pinning you to the bed haphazardly with his chest and both hands. You’re on your side, arm crushed underneath.Using your free hand, you move the braid from covering your neck. Further revealing the most vulnerable place on your body, rather than using this moment to guard it. He growls and yips, like trusting him is even more offensive than providing affirmations. Damiano grabs both your wrists in one hand and painfully wrenches them to the side. Now immobilized, he rests his teeth right on your jugular vein and snarls terrifyingly.
“Bullshit,” you spew, trying to wiggle free. He keeps a tight hold on your wrists and brings his teeth to your trachea. You try not to cower. Instinctually, the response is fear, even though you know it's an empty threat. 
“You’re not even letting yourself go into headspace because you’re too fucking concerned about actually scaring me.” You challenge him right back with a snarl that encompasses all the frustration of today..
With your faces pressed together, you both bare your teeth. It's more exhilarating than anything else. Damiano had never interacted this way, even though you knew it was a side of him that existed. Calling his bluff makes Dami drop the act. In the wake, you catch tenderness in his eyes.
 “This isn’t your fault. None of it is your fault. You are free of blame. You are free of guilt.” He seems to give up on scaring you off. The threat was so empty, that it was more of a test than anything. Would you still want him not pretty and polished for everyone’s consumption? Could he trust that? He rolls over and curls fetal, making himself small in a way you’d never seen an alpha behave before. Gritting your teeth, you persevere.
“Why are you running from how I feel about you? To punish yourself? You’re not allowed to twist up my love for you like that,” you growl. “Stop it. I don’t consent to have my love used that way.” There it was. You’d admitted it. Damiano lets out a choking sob and takes the wall away. It’s like breaking through the surface after a riptide has kept you under water within an inch of your life. He’s everywhere again, in every sense. There's even parts of yourself you get back. Not because he took them, but because the wind blows a flower’s seed across the fence, and upon finding greener pastures the new bloom flourishes. 
In the same way, parts of Damiano that were wrenched away had wallowed in their grief, sickening you. Their sharp, broken corners left stinging cuts on the soft tissue of your insides. It was no longer possible for you to be whole and separate. 
“Hello my love,” you choke. “Thank you for coming back to me, I missed you.” Kiss. So very –” kiss, kiss “much!” He’s still curled up in a defensive position as you kiss his face. Silently, tears are streaming down his cheeks. It’s healthy, even if it's hard to watch.
“I meant what I said about taking your time. Don’t just stuff it all down as soon as it feels manageable. This time things are going to change so you don’t have to keep going back to this place to survive.” Dami flips on his back, face hardened, and pulls you onto his chest. His legs come up and wrap around your thighs too. It's a strange position, but you don’t dislike it. 
His cheek is pressed to your forehead, so Damiano’s tears wet your face as well. This is how you can tell that things aren’t getting better. He’s still crying just as hard 15 minutes later, jaw trembling. Dami is clutching you the way a child clutches a teddy bear. Perhaps you’re not actively doing much, but if he didn’t have a secure hold on you that would make the whole thing too overwhelming to even consider.
“I love being this close to you.” You let those words stand alone for a few seconds. “Is there some way I could make this moment better? I could rub your feet, massage your back, play with your hair, put lotion on. Is there a specific type of touch that’d make you feel better?” Dami shakes his head and squeezes tighter. “Okay,” you agree, content. You’d got him back in the way that matters most. There were far worse things than being Dami’s teddy bear. Plus, this was heaven compared to him not holding your hand in the car.
At some point he realizes your forehead is all wet and releases you. You wipe it off with your hand and attempt to evaluate the situation. This was the second day you’d helped Damiano through a crisis. If he was in crisis, there was nowhere in the world you’d prefer to be than by his side. However, this one could have been avoided. Dami’s hatred and fear of these episodes made much more sense. It was never just a health event. He had to reconcile whatever harm he’d caused, save face, apologize the exact right way, damage control, justify his existence to a board of some sort, pretend he was unaffected, pretend it was insignificant. He had to parade himself around for the judgment of others, making sure it ended up favorably.
Even before that, he had to deal with injuries, public appearances, medical treatment that fucked with his hormones, exhaustion, and nightmares (apparently). Then there were the subsequent doctor’s visits. The following non-verbal episodes were just his mind and body trying to survive all that anxiety and dread. 
“I was just thinking about how this is a proportional reaction to everything you’ve been subjected to.” He’s expressionless. Despite this, within yourself, Damiano feels just as present as usual. 
“Hey, never do that dead eyed, soulless thing with me again, okay?” He nods diligently, visibly burdened with guilt and other crushing emotions. That's not what you wanted at all. You kiss his cheek and pivot to a bright tone.
 “Do you want some water?” He nods, which is encouraging. “Food?” He shakes no. “Okay,” you accept without argument. “I’ll be back.”
Sandro, Isabella, and Matteo are all standing in the kitchen when you walk in. It’s painfully awkward, considering you just had a full blown mental breakdown on the side of the road in front of them.
“Ugh, sorry, excuse me.” You open the cupboard and take a glass out, filling it with water from the sink.
“If he seems thirsty you should give him this.” Anxiously, Isabella takes a bottle out of the fridge. “Electrolytes, some calories.” When she hands it over, you decide to take both. Sandro clears his throat roughly, probably a nervous tick.
“Is everything okay?” Matteo asks, timidly. You’re not sure what to say. Obviously, it is very not okay.
“He’s not getting worse,” you volunteer, to avoid giving anything away. Maybe communicating with you was the only thing that felt manageable. You weren’t about to create expectations that he had to meet. No one pressed you further after this nondescript answer, so you returned to the bedroom. Damiano had opened the furthest shade an inch, just enough light to see. He sat on the edge of the bed with his back turned to the window.
“Hey, your mom gave me this,” you hand over the bottled drink. “But I also got this.” He takes both and drinks the glass of water. Each ends up on the nightstand. 
“So…I want you to know that you can kick me out whenever you want. Don’t feel obligated or like – okay. Okay!” He starts tugging your arms. “Okay, Dami,” you giggle, being lifted you onto his lap. Again, he wraps his arms and legs around you, but this time you come to rest on your side.
“I wasn’t saying right now, but eventually when you want space, Daammm!” This time he rolls so your face is pressed into a pillow and your voice muffled. “So you’re happy I came over, then?”  He nods harshly, rubbing his face along the fabric of your top like a cat, casually dispersing some pheromones as a result. “I’m happy I’m here, too.” Damiano starts nuzzling your neck and you feel like a dumbass for not thinking of it earlier.
“Do you want me to scent you?” He disentangles himself from you and hops out of bed. At first you’re confused, until you hear the door latch. Dami pulls off his sweatshirt and tee then throws himself on the mattress beside you. He’s almost smiling, like he’s holding his mouth in a straight line, rather than having no emotion to move his face. The mock neck of the long sleeve you’re wearing gets in the way before you can even start. While it was a great look for hiding your mark, it’s a real pain in the ass right now.
First, you attempt to roll it down, but that only works if you use your hand constantly. Going shirtless might seem presumptuous and the last thing Dami needs right now is more pressure. So you end up crouched over his chest, biting your lip in thought. 
Damiano raises his hands and rests them on your back. He begins unbuttoning the dress, making the decision for you. While he works, you rest your forehead against his, treasuring this moment. He pushes the right sleeve down, then the left. Finally, he reaches into your dress and grabs the hem of your undershirt. Dami pulls it off your head, catching your hairstyle in the process. After the top is discarded, he examines the braid with a grip on the hair tie. Dami appreciates all angles.
“Since I was little Clio has done my hair when I’m really sad about something.” You wince as soon as the words leave your mouth. Dami’s face changes, but there's no platitude or assurance for this. Devastation wasn’t an overreaction and you both knew it. Instead of trying to fill the space, you lean down and run your right scent gland across his pecs and collarbones, ending by fitting your neck to his. It's a little sore from the bruising. You can’t just haphazardly rub against him and roll around in bed like animals.
Dami notices your limited movement and remembers to check your scent gland. He sits up, examining the mark on your left side carefully.
“It’s healing well,” you assure. He nods, laying down with a sigh. Any stress relief is negated. You try a different tactic, fitting your neck against him against his again. Resting there, you carefully brush back and forth, focusing on being thorough. After a minute you move up to his jaw, then cheek, then hair. His body relaxes underneath yours. His hands on your back grow limp and when you check on his expression, Damiano’s eyes are fluttering.
With both hands, you stroke his head, massage his scalp, play with his hair, run your nails along his undercut. The way he rubbed your ears in the shower yesterday was heavenly so you try to do the same. You start by tracing along the cartilage, rubbing the shell of his ear, pulling the lobe between your fingers. 
When that’s done, you quietly open the drawer in search of lotion. It’s hilarious that sexually liberated Dami still uses lotion to masturabate instead of lube. However, it makes your life easier right now. With a couple pumps in your palm, you run your hands down his chest and abdomen. Starting at the top, you work the meat of your hand into the muscle of his pecs. You’ve never massaged someone's chest, not really sure how to do it. He seems to be enjoying it with little rumbling hums which is all that really matters anyways.
From sternum down you’re at a loss. There’s no muscle on his ribs to massage and having someone press on your stomach sounded unpleasant. Instead, you just rub the cream in. Switching to his forearms comes with new ideas. You apply gentle pressure while running your hand up and down. You use your thumbs to massage Dami’s hand. There's obviously a lot of muscle in the area, but you have no idea how to treat it. Still, he seems to enjoy this most of all so you repeat it on the other side. 
Next your attention is turned to his legs. Paying so much attention to his thighs may result in certain circumstances you were unsure how to navigate. Damiano saves you the worry by flipping over. It was wonderful to see him accept some generous comfort, asking for it without words. He allows himself to relax under your gentle touch like never before. You realize it's probably because he’s not battling impulses. He’d marked you less than a day ago so those demanding, alpha sexual impulses were quieted. For now. There needed to be a system of consent put in place soon.
Damiano whiles beneath you. In a moment of thought, your hands had stilled. You smiled because it was the most he’d communicated with you all day.
“All right, all right,” you respond fondly. “No need to complain about it, geez.” Although it felt counterintuitive, in Dami’s position you’d loath being treated like glass. Maintaining some sense of normalcy was important. As soon as you worried about the teasing being one-sided however, Dami used his hips to knock you off him. You laughed while climbing back to your previous position. Not because it was particularly funny, but because you were relieved. Even within the circumstances, your dynamic was completely preserved. 
“Ingrate,” you muttered, squirting the cold lotion directly onto his back. He let out a sound of displeasure. You leaned forward and kissed the back of his head before continuing. Damiano was so muscular from all the sports he played that your hands grew sore.
“Your shoulders are like massaging concrete by the way.” You sat up and took a break, shaking your hands to stop them from cramping. Dami turned onto his back again and extended his arms towards you, releasing you from the obligation. Happily, you rested under his chin and enjoyed having your hair stroked until his hands were tired as well. Then you just lay in silence and that was okay.
Notes: I’ve noticed in hurt/comfort stories that everyone just moves on and there’s no emotional consequence from traumatic events. That’s not realistic with the amount of pressure alpha Dami has been under so you’re in for a bit more angst
Masterlist
@asianhawkeye-blog @bieberhoodforever @blackberryblossom @butkutee @cuzimitaliano @elvirabelle @ethaneskin @iamtashaquinn @icarodamiano @idyllicbutterfly @ilwiwbysmv @immrbrightsideeee @little-moonbeam-666 @maneslut @mortyandem @ohdamiano @the-chaotic-cow @theimpossiblehologramtree @wasteddoubts @weareoddlydrawn @whore4damia @woahzz11 @8iunie @azertyhug @biancathecool @xweirdxsceletton @bohemianrainbow @boyswillbeexecutied @daisy0gf @dustyinkpages @katyldamusic @minnietmouse @obiw4n @persona1read1ng @ch3rryk4ii @gr8rainbowpunk @hiraetheral @homesicam @iosonoarina @l0standn0tf0und @que--sera--sera @stardustingold @superchrystaldrug @teenyweenynightghost @damoriaa @teacosea @softmullet @solacestyles @thegeminisgirl @bobfood @slavicgoddess
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Reality
Part 1: Ballistic
Part 8: In a Heartbeat
Masterlist
Cheerleader!Harrington!Reader
After everything with Vecna, it's a little hard for you to get settled again. When the gang realizes something's wrong, they devise a plan.
Struggling to accept reality. Very brief smut. Depressed reader. This chapter has all the tags. Angst. Fluff. Brief smut. Eddie calls you Bunny. Everyone is super worried about you cause girl… you are losin’ it in this chapter. PTSD technically I guess. There's a cliff this is your warning I dont want to give anything away, im not sorry. Mentions of you trying to stick your hand on a hot stove.
You’d thought once everything was over with Vecna everything would be normal again, you expected it to take time, but it was taking too much time now.
It usually never took this long for you to feel safe again, comfortable, in your own skin, three weeks at the most and that was after the Mind Flayer had killed Billy, or rather, One had killed Billy, you still couldn’t quite grasp the concept of what the hell really was going on in the Upside Down. But it was taking longer now, approaching the two and a half month mark you were still extremely jumpy, your skin still itches, and there was a scratching feeling at the back of your head that it would all stop, at some point.
As soon as school was back in, you quit the cheer squad, told your mother to eat your shorts if she didn’t like it, and started sitting at the Hellfire table at lunch. Which is where you were now, leaned on Eddie with his arm caped around your shoulders, your eyes trained on a forever stain on the lunch table, not noticing you were being spoken to until Eddie’s hand was waving in your face.
You blinked rapidly and looked at him. “What? Sorry. I zoned out again.” You mumbled. “What’s up?” Eddie decided not to question it, any time he had before you’d brushed it off as being tired, but he was getting increasingly worried about you. “Asked if you wanted to come hang out at my place tonight.” He said softly. “Uncle Wayne works at the plant tonight so… it’ll just be us.” You’d been holding off on sex with Eddie since you got back, maybe it was because you just weren’t feeling very sexy, or because Eddie had been and still partially was recovering from his demobat injuries, or because you didn’t know if any of this was actually happening and it scared the ever loving shit out of you, you didn’t know anymore.
“Uh… yeah.” You nodded, smiling and kissing his cheek gently before leaning into him again the table sat in peace for a while, you actually able to listen to the conversation even if it was about dungeons and dragons and you didn’t really understand any of it. Your peace, of course, was short lived by two cheerleaders flouncing up to the table. “Y/N.” One said, annoyingly chipper like usual. “Denise.” You responded. “Harrington.” The other acknowledged, you grunted and waved dismissively at her in response. “We were wondering you were done playing ‘diddle the freak’ and come back where you belong.” She said immediately after you waved at her.
“And I’ve always wondered if you were done playing ‘how can I be a bigger cunt today?’” You said matter of factly, not looking up as the whole table snorted. Jackie immediately jerked her eyes to the boys at the table. “Watch it, freakazoids.” You stood up quickly and tugged your hand from Eddie when he grabbed it. “I’ve had e-fucking-nough of that word.” You growled, inches from her face.
Jackie looked scared, for a second, before she was crossing your arms and cocking a brow, tapping her laced white keds. “So that’s a no, then?” She scoffed. “You’d seriously rather hang out with these freaks? It’s social suicide!”
“It’s senior year you dumb cunt!” You poked her temple harshly a few times. “There is no social anything! You’re just a bunch of horny, useless pigs. And in about five years you’re going to be stuck in the same god damn place only uglier, smellier, and even more useless than you are right fucking now. Because then.” You stepped close, voice lowering. “Even your dog isn’t going to want to fuck you.”
Jackie stared at you with wide eyes, mouth gaping like a fish as she tried to stutter out of a response. “Eat shit, bitch.” You growled, grabbing your bag and spitting on her white keds before leaving the cafeteria, Eddie following quickly after you as Jackie’s voice echoed. “UGH! You are SO off the squad!” So high pitched you thought the windows would shatter. “Boohoo.” You mumbled to yourself.
“Y/N!” He grabbed your wrist and stopped you as you made it to the double doors of the school. “Hey… you’re shaking like a leaf.” He mumbled before hugging you tightly. “Bunny… what’s wrong?” He whispered.
“I’m sorry. God I’m sorry. That’s probably not gonna make things better.” You mumbled softly, shaking your head as you hugged him, closing your eyes tightly, gripping his vest. You haven’t told Eddie about the trouble you’re having, you already felt like a burden as it was, you didn’t need to add ‘can’t distinguish reality anymore’ to the list as well.
“Hey. What are you talking about? That was fucking awesome.” Eddie laughed and leaned back. “You called her ugly and smelly and useless and all that other shit for calling us freaks.” He shook his head. “I have never been more in love with you.” There it was.
You blinked rapidly. No… okay there was no way Eddie Munson just said in love with you. He doesn’t say that. He didn’t say that when you all thought he was gonna die in the hospital! “You… what..?”
Eddie blinked and tilted his head, like he didn’t realize, until they widened. “Oh. Oh uh…” his cheeks went bright red and he rubbed the back of his neck, shoes squeaking on the floor when he nudged it before clearing his throat. “Yeah. Uh you know I’m… I’m in love with you.” He pushed his hands into his pockets. “I mean… I did jump into a lake into hell after you so… and mowed down a bunch of demobats.” He teased, nudging you lightly. “Kinda obvious, sweetheart.” You let out a soft laugh, almost having to force it.
“I… I’m… I-I’m in love with you.. too.” You said softly, watching as the grin spread across his, your cheeks flushing before he was swooping you into a deep kiss. You hummed and closed your eyes, sighing happily into the kiss, sliding your hands into his hand and gripping gently just to feel the root of something. Something real that wasn’t you. When he let out that oh so missed sigh, you melted into him, pulling back and swallowing thickly before grabbing his hand tightly. “Come on.." You said softly, tugging him into a supply closet as a wide, curious grin spread across his face, his eyes glancing to both ends of the hallway. "Yes, ma'am."
The second the door was closed you turned the light on and gripped the front of Eddie's jacket and vest, pulling him close and kissing him deeply, sighing happily when you felt him melt against you and slide his arms around your waist, pulling you tighter against him as he leaned you against the door, pressing your back into the wood, which was cold even through your t-shirt, which was actually Eddie's, his hips grinding into yours slowly but with the perfect amount of pressure, his hands sliding everywhere, gripping your ass through your skirt, his fingertips touching your skin when the fabric bunched up in his hand. (whether he bought the shirt too small or too big is up to you, I'm trying to be as inclusive as possible, we'll say its tucked into your skirt or tied up depending on your size option)
"That all I had to do to get you riled up? Tell you I love you?" He teased, which actually made you laugh a little, rolling your eyes a bit. "I've been holding out on you... I'm sorry." You whispered, sliding your hdans up to cup his cheeks as he shook his head. "No. It's fine, really." He said softly, turning his head to kiss your palm. "We just went through something traumatic.. kinda dumb of me to assume you're immediately gonna wanna take your pants off, y'know?"
You shook your head fondly and kissed him softly. "Still. Thank you for being patient and not making me feel like shit about it." Even if I do anyway. "no problem, Bunny." Eddie ran his thumb over your cheek gently. "Now... I believe I pulled you in here for a reason." You teased, pulling him close and kissing him again.
Eddie kissed back happily, you reaching under your skirt and pushing your panties off as Eddie unbuckled his belt and got his jeans down just enough to get his cock out, since you didn't have time to go all out, and you were making sure Eddie graduated, so you would have to settle for a quickie. He gripped your hips again and moved so you could on an old desk in the supply closet, he slid his hands up your skirt and ran his thumb through your folds slowly, his lips falling from yours to your neck, sucking and kissing on the skin as he massaged your clit with his thumb, moaning a little against your neck when he felt your slick start to gather.
"Eddie... please." You whined softly. "We don't have time the bell is gonna ring soon." You shifted, pressing against his finger as he let out a soft chuckle. "Alright.. alright. I'll just have to wait." You could feel his little pout against your neck as he pulled you closer and lined his cock up with your hole, slowly guiding himself into you as he groaned, eyes fluttering shut.
Your arms wrapped around him tightly, nuzzling his neck lightly as you moaned softly, the pain of the stretch grounding you as you gripped Eddie’s vest in your hands gently, feeling the denim catch under your nails. “Fuck.” Eddie mumbled into your neck, pushing all the way into you, panting softly as he let you adjust, massaging your thighs gently before his hands slid up to your waist, squeezing gently. “You okay still?” He asked softly.
You nodded. “I’m okay, Eds.” You leaned back to kiss him, pulling him closer. “You can start moving.” You bumped your nose against his lightly. He nodded and kissed you softly as he started thrusting up into you, whining happily and pulling you closer to him, pressing his face into your neck. “Feels so good, baby.” He whispered softly into your ear. “Love you so much. Have since that day at the picnic table.” He wrapped his arms around you, continuing to fuck up into you as he gradually picked up speed.
You whimpered happily and pushed your face into Eddie’s neck. This. This was real. This would always be real, Eddie close, hips pushing up into you, his wallet chain jingling with his movements, echoing through the small closet, his cold rings digging into your skin as his hands grabbed anywhere he could. You could feel his lips then, open against your neck as he sucked and nibbled on the skin, very obviously trying to leave a hickey and you couldn’t find it in yourself to stop him, your fingers sliding up to tangle in his hair. “I love you too, Eds.” You whimpered happily when his hips snapped up into you.
“Say it again.” Came spilling out of his mouth as soon as you finished the words, his hand sliding to play with your clit. “Please.” He whined. You blushed a little at his reaction and bit your lip as you looked up at him, smiling shyly. “I love you, Eds.” You moaned softly when he started circling your clit. “So much.”
Eddie whined happily and kissed you deeply as he started to fuck you harder and faster, his muscles seeming to twitch the harder you gripped his shoulders. Being as Eddie was a little backed up, he was holding back his orgasm, determined to make you cum first, he could tell you were having a rough time and since you wouldn't talk to him about it, he figured this was at least one way he could try and help you out.
Your eyelids fluttered and your legs shook, Eddie's soft whimpers and grunts echoing through the small closet with the sound of his wallet chain. The sounds played a song in your eyes, planting you to the ground and solidifying just how much Eddie meant to you, and then how you'd been treating him lately, not neccesarily rude, just distant, spending more time alone than with anyone. Now was definitely not the time for the guilt to come crashing down on you.
"I'm sorry." You didn't realize you were crying until the words came out of your mouth, wrecked from both your activities and your guilt. Eddie leaned back and frowned, immediately wiping your tears as his hips slowed to a stop, pulling a protesting whimper from your lips. "Bunny.. whats wrong?" He whispered. "What are you saying sorry for?"
You sniffled and shook your head slightly in his hands. "I've been distant a-and ignoring you after the hospital, and I shouldn't have because I love you so much and it's so stupid and. I just... I love you so much I don't want you to think I don't." You looked up at him. "I'm sorry." "Oh... baby..." Eddie shook his head and kissed your face several times. "Please don't feel bad, everyone handles things differently. You need to be alone sometimes and that's okay. I'm not upset. i love you."
You closed your eyes, shoulders still shaking lightly. "I love you too." You said softly, looking up at him as you sniffled a little. "Don't cry, Bunny." Eddie whispered, smiling warmly at you. "Though I have to admit, does something to me that you're crying because you love me so much." He teased, continuing when it got him a grin. "Kinda a bigger turn on." He chuckled when you slapped his chest, giving a still slightly teary laugh. "You wanna stop?" He whispers softly.
You bit your lip and shook your head, looking up at him. "No, I wanna keep going." You said softly, gently pulling him into a kiss as he grinned. "Yes, ma'am.." he hummed before starting his movements again.
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"Eddie... is she alright?" Dustin asked later at Hellfire, since you quit the squad you'd sometimes sit in on their meetings, though you mostly would go back home and just lay in bed, you decided to come today and observe, though despite the excitement the observing quickly became putting your headphones on and reading the book you were focused on this month.
Eddie looked over towards you and sighed a little. "I don't know, man.. she's been a little weird." He mumbled softly, shifting slightly and clearing his throat. "Steve say anything about her being weird?"
Dustin shrugged and nodded, glancing at you momentarily. "Yeah, said she's been spending a lot of time locked up in her room and only comes out to get her dinner and then just goes back upstairs.
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The next day, everybody was at Family Video, except for you, it had been a particularly... odd feeling morning so you'd stayed in bed, telling Steve that you probably wouldn't be there, and although he seemed disappointed, he nodded and left a glass of water by your bed before leaving for work.
Robin explained. "When I asked her what she got four number ten in class yesterday she said The Battle of Gettysburg." "...okay?" Nancy frowned. "We were in Math."
Eddie decided to keep the details of your breakdown quiet, explaining that you just had a tendency to cry more, and about your scene at lunch.
Dustin had noticed you smiled less, at anyone's jokes.
Steve noticed your lack of sibling banter, among other things you'd stopped doing around the house.
Max noticed your lack of appearance at Eddie's, and your lack of wanting to go shopping.
Nancy noticed your lack of enthusiasm.
and Mike... well he was more focused on El so he hadn't noticed much.
and the final straw? When Steve told them he'd stopped you from laying your hand on a hot stove that morning before breakfast, which he'd convinced you to come down for. "When I asked her why, she said 'to see if it was hot'"
"She likes the beach." Steve commented, they were all trying to find something to do to make you feel better, everyone had started to notice how odd you were behaving, each of thtem havng a different reason for thinking you needed out of Hawkins for a bit.
"She mentioned a while ago she'd like to go camping... we could all go camping at the beach." Eddie mentioned, when everyone turned to him he got a little insecure, shifting and looking at them. "What? Is... that a bad idea?"
"No... no I think it's good." Steve nodded. "Yeah! And honeslty, I dont think it matters much as long as we get her out of Hawkins. This place is screwing with all of us, but her defnitely." Robin babbled, nodding eagerly.
Eddie nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. "Alright, camping it is." He chuckled and licked his lips before walking backwards. "Great. I came up with the idea which means you twerps got everything else... I'm gonna go comfort my girl." He pointed towards his van and winked before walking out.
"Keep your hands to yourself!" Steve shouted after him, Eddie waving his hand dismissively before climbing into his van and driving to the Harrington home, he hoped this beach camping idea was a good one.
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You woke up to soft hands brushing hair from your face a week later, your brows furrowed as you fluttered your eyes open, blinking rapidly to wake up. "Eds?" You mumbled sleepily, yawning and rubbing your eye with the back of your hand. "What time is it?"
"3:20." Eddie whispered, you blinked rapidly and looked over at your clock next to your bed. "What are you doing here at 3:20?" You asked softly, looking up at him curiously.
"Well... I could tell you... or you could get your pretty self out of bed.. and come find out." Eddie grinned, holding up your coat for you as he gently pulled your covers back.
You groaned and sat up slowly, letting him put the jacket on you." Only cause you're so adorable." You mumbled softly as he chuckled, shaking his head fondly before guiding you downstairs and out the front door.
You were immediately met with the sight of Nancy, Steve, and Robin, smiling widely, standing by an RV that looked a lot like the one you'd stolen to get to the weapons store. "What's going on?" You ask sleepily, looking at Eddie curiously before back at the RV.
Steve walked over, hands in his pockets. "We know you're having a tough time... so I convinced mom and dad to uh... give me the next few months worth of allowance early." "I gathered up everything i had saved from Chips Ahoy and Family Video." Robin put her hand up. "And I bullied mike into giving me his allowance also." Nancy smiled softly. "And we rented this badboy for a few days." Dustin grinned widely, poking his head out with Max, Lucas, El, and Mike right behind him.
Tears welled up in your eyes. "Guys..." you whimpered softly. "You didn't have to... do all this." You shook your head and looked between them all. "Oh... thank you all so much." You hugged Steve tightly before throwing yourself on Eddie, pushing your face into his neck.
"Alright, I got your stuff packed." Eddie held up a couple bags you didn't realize he had. "So, unless you wanna change, we're all ready to go." A smile spread across your face and you kissed him quickly, shaking your head. "Let's go. I'm exhausted, though, so I'm going back to sleep."
Eddie chuckled and nodded. "Alright, you heard the lady. Let's go!" He threw his arms up, everybody hooting and hollering as the five of you climbed into the RV, happy giggles leaving your mouth. God you love your friends.
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You woke up a few hours later with the sun in your eyes and your head on Eddie's chest, which was moving up and down like he was asleep. You could Max and Lucas whispering on the couch in the back, and pretty much everypne else was asleep. You rubbed your eye and glanced up at Eddie before slowing standing up and going over to sit in the passenger seat while Steve drove.
You looked over at him and bit your lip. "Wanna tell me what's going on with you now?" Steve kept his voice low as to not alert anyone else to your conversation. You shrugged and wrapped your arms around yourself. "I don't know.." you mumbled softly, looking down and sighing heavily.
"Everything just feels.... off. Weird." You tried to explain, frowning deeply. "Not... real." You mumbled, looking away when you saw Steve turn his head towards you. "Not real?" He asked curiously.
God you hated this, you didn't like the way Steve was looking at you, the worrisome look in his eyes, the way he was trying to figue what was going on in your head. "I guess.. its just... every time.. everything goes back to normal so fast..." you mumbled softly.
"Yeah.. what's so different this time?" He asked curiously, watching as your teeth dug into your bottom lip and you shrugged your shoulders again. "It feels... wrong.. Eddie... Eddie almost died.. like really almost died." Your voice trembled. "And i just... it feels wrong to pretend that everything is normal when it isn't.. everyone was just... carrying on the next day like it didn't even matter that Eddie almost died to anyone but me and Dusty."
"What do you mean?" Steve frowned. "Y/N/N.. we cared." He shook his head a little. "I know we didn't.. show up but we cared. How could we not?" He chuckled. "If it weren't for Munson we'd all be eaten by those damn bats." His voice was softer now as he turned his eyes to you again. "i don't have an excuse for not showing up, i mean, other than work but that's a bullshit reason." He sighed.
"That's... not the only thing.. everything just feels odd." You shrugged a little. "I can't explain it... it's like everything is numb..." You frowned, looking at your hands and rubbing them against your thighs. "I guess."
Steve's frown deepened, but it was obvious he was trying to understand what you were going through, you appreciated the effort. "i know it doesn't help but.. I'm sorry you feel that way Y/N/N... we put this together so you could have a break." He said softly, reaching over to squeeze your arm.
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You got to the beach around 1, first stopping so everyone could put on their bathing suits and get snacks and water. When you found a good place to park the car you all climbed out. You smiled and breathed deeply, taking in the smell of the beach, sighing happily. The idea of camping on the beach had gotten more and more inticing the closer you all got, you were practically bouncing by the time Steve found a good spot.
"Alright I say, we set up camp here." Steve nodded, hands on his hips as he serveyed the spot he'd chosen, turning his eyes to the group, half of which were already dropping their things and running for the waves, you and Eddie close behind as Nancy and Robin stayed back to help Steve set up the spot.
The second you and Eddie were in the water, the icy waves crashing against your feet, you felt your body relax, your shoulders drooped, and you breathed in, smiling widely and looking at Eddie as you grabbed his hand. "I love you." You said happily. Eddie grinned and pulled you close. "I love you too." He cupped your cheek with his free hand and pulled you close, kissing you softly.
You were all swimming when you saw a rather tall cliff looking over the ocean, it didn't seem like it would be a long walk. Dustin and Eddie got your attention pretty quickly, though, and you looked over to see them dunking eachother and wrestling in the salty water, making you laugh and shake your head fondly at the sight.
After a few hours of swimming everyone went back up onto the beach to wrap up and eat since the temperature was starting to drop a bit, soft gusts of wind coming out over the ocean but not quite reaching the beach. When the sun had set completely Steve set up a little fire, all of you gathering around it, you leaning on Eddie as you ate a sandwich, looking into the fire as Eddie's oh so warm arms wrapped around you. After the younger kids had gone to bed, exhausted from swimming no matter how much they tried to deny it, the five of you stayed up a little longer, you, Steve, and Eddie smoking a joint since Robin nor Nancy partook, the two were more than happy to hang around with their friends and watch them get high.
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You'd woken up before anyone else, listening to the sound of waves crashing, mixed with Eddie's breathing for about thirty minutes before you heard it. "Y/N..." you sat up quickly, frown on your face deep as panic started to rise in your chest. "Y/N." It was closer now, and although part of you tried to rationalize that he was dead, he wasn't coming back, you scrambled out of the tent, hands dug into the sand as you looked around.
You stood up and looked around, walking backwards away from the campsite, tripping over Robin's bag, which was far off for some reason, the girl couldn't be organized if her life depended on it. You fell over with a yelp, the sound alerting Dustin, who woke up and unzipped the tent, sticking his head out just in time to see you scrambling through the sand and bolting off towards the cliff.
He frowned and fell out of the tent when he went to step out, cursing before righting himself and alerting everyone to what he'd just seen. When you saw the tent start to unzip, you panicked, the corners of your vision blurry as you scrambled up in the sand and ran off, you didn't really know where you were going, figuring you'd run until you couldn't.
Before you knew it, you were at the edge of the cliff, toes just over the edge as you stared down at the crashing waves, wind pushing your hair back as you swallowed thickly, breathing the salty hair in through gasps. "Y/N!" The voice was Eddie's this time, you looked behidn you to see everyone running over. "Don't!" You shouted, causing them to stop as you moved closer to the edge, looking back at the water as you shook your head. "It's gonna be okay."
"Y/N... come on..." Steve put his hand on Eddie's shoulder as he stepped forward, your eyes still focused on the ocean below. "Tell us what's going on." He said softly.
Your fists curled a bit at your sides and you swallowed thickly. "I heard him." You whispered, scared to say the words any louder. "Vecna?" You nodded hesitantly, tears pooling in your eyes. "It's not real. I told you." Your voice trembled with your words.
Eddie looked between the two of you, frowning deeply. When the fuck was this? Harrington didn't think to share this with the class? He clenched his jaw before looking at you again, swallowing thickly. "Bunny..." he said softly, moving closer. You snapped your head over to him, vision blurred in the corners, his voice distorting as you closed your eyes tightly and tried to shake it away. "Step off the ledge.. can you do that for me?" He asked softly.
Your lip trembled a little, your arms coming to wrap around yourself slowly. "B-but I heard him.." you whispered. "He's not here." Eddie shook his head. "Remember?" He asked softly. "Steve.. Nance.. Robin... they killed him." He said softly. Your eyes drifted down as he got closer, your eyes falling on the scars on his torso, letting out a small sob as your eyes drifted over to everyone else, tearing your eyes away from them to look back at the ocean, your tears falling when you leaned over, the wind knocking them back against your arms, sending a chill through you.
Eddie took notice of the shudder immediately, getting an idea. "Hey.." his voice was soft, but firm enough to make you look over at him. "Remeber yesterday.. when we got in the water.." a small chuckle left his throat. "You let out the.. cutest little squeal cause the water was cold?" Your cheeks turned a little red. "It wasn't.. cute." You mumbled.
"Oh, Bunny, it was the cutest thing ever." He nodded, grinning before getting to his point. "You really wanna jump full fledge into that cold ass water?" The rest of them looked at him with wide eyes, well... that's not where they thought he was going with that. You looked at the water, and then back at Eddie. "Those are your only pajamas, too. They're gonna smell like the ocean until we get home." He scrunched his face a bit. "Plus.. that smack.. is gonna hurt, babe. You're gonna look like a penguin with a sunburn.. big ol' red spot across the front of your body. I mean, I think you'll be cute, but it's gonna hurt like a son of a bitch. I'm more than happy to rub ointment on you, though." He winked.
Everyone else groaned at that. "Watch it, Munson." Steve warned. You couldn't help but let out a small laugh, sniffling a little and swallowing thickly as you looked over the cliff, nodding hesitantly. "O-okay... okay." You said softly. "Alright." Eddie smiled and headed towards you as you turned around.
When you turned, though, because of how on the edge you were, you lost your footing, and slipped, your fingers grasping at the cliff-edge as everyone ran over to you. "Y/N!" "Y/N/N!" "BUNNY!" Eddie grabbed your arms just as your fingers slipped over the edge, slipping a bit before anchoring himself with his knees in the grass, grunting as he got a good grip on you.
You were all in complete hysteria, looking down at the ocean and then back at eachother, screaming at eachother to help you up this damn cliff, and despite it probably being possible for just Steve and Eddie, or even just Eddie, everyone was pulling you up onto the cliff.
As soon as you were up on the cliff everyone was falling to ground in a heap of sobbing messes, hugging you and eachother, you shaking like a leaf as you returned the hugs. "I'm sorry." You sobbed. "I'm so sorry." You shook your head rapidly, hugging Eddie tightly.
"It's okay. You're okay." Eddie rubbed yout back, shaking his head and closing his eyes. "I love you so much." He whispered softly. "I love you too." You sobbed, pulling back to look at everyone. "I ruined y-your plans. I'm sorry." You wiped your eye.
They all looked at eachother, and then you with a raised brow. "you kidding? You see us packing up?" Steve smirked. "This is just a hiccup, y/n/n." He shook his head and stood up. "Come on. We've got a beach and cold ass water to enjoy."
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void-botanist · 11 months
Text
WIP intro: Nicea
status // planning
tag // wip: nicea
genre // space opera, queer, romance
super quick synopsis // A small starship crew attempts to rescue their old captain, long believed dead, without collectively falling apart.
Setting
A galaxy liberally sprinkled with earthlike planets populated by humanoids. A small fraction of those humanoids are witches, those born with magical gifts that neither scientists nor magicians—those who learn to use magic through study—have been able to replicate. Travel between star systems is accomplished with warp magic, sometimes through the direct intervention of a warp witch on a starship, but more often through permanent stabilized warp tunnels. Some systems are completely warp-isolated, for any number of reasons. Even in connected systems, many people never leave their home planet or system. The Nicea’s home system is Antarac.
Proper Synopsis
Ten years ago, Cady, the Nicea’s first captain, never came back from warp racing with his friend Bo. The logical conclusion was that they had both died after accidentally falling out of their warp tunnel at high speed—that was just the risk of racing. The Nicea’s crew was devastated, especially Cady’s husband, Declan, and Bo’s best friend, Tristan. When Nicea Shipping resumed business a few years later, things were different. Declan, not wanting to interact with customers who knew Cady, became the shadow captain of the ship, assigning the public-facing roles to the charismatic load specialist, Isabel. Her brother Rodney, originally little more than a cabin boy trying to escape planetside worries, became Declan’s assistant and right-hand man. Tristan stayed on as pilot while wishing she’d never introduced Cady to warp racing. And Spinder continued maintaining the Nicea, fixing it in ways he couldn’t fix his crew as they tried to move past mourning his nephew. So life went on.
Until one spring afternoon when the Nicea has just returned planetside only to receive a message from Cady and Bo: they didn’t die. Instead, they’re stuck in an isolated system several hundred light years away with no way to warp out. Bo could eventually get them back if they had a warp-rated ship, but the initial fall totaled their racer and getting a warp ship is impossible in a system that has no reason to build them.
Suddenly, a two-month break on the ground becomes two weeks, just long enough to figure out how the Nicea can make it that far. But even with warps, it’s the longest trip the crew has ever taken together, and soon the cracks begin to show. They’re a crew—they’re a family—but Cady and Bo’s return might be enough to tear them apart.
Main Characters
Cassidy “Cady” Thilta
he/him, 40, human, trans
position // previous captain of the Nicea; pilot
system of origin // Antarac
In order of difficulty, his three dreams were to marry Declan, make it through pilot school with a warp certification, and start a business in space. He managed all three with a lot of work and more than a little charisma. But as the once-thrilling became the happily mundane, the allure of space drew him in further and he turned to warp racing as his new source of challenge and adrenaline. A decade apart from almost everyone and everything he knew has changed him, though maybe not for the better.
Rannebo “Bo” Aveldan
they/he, 61, dragon person
position // warp witch
system of origin // Hybres
Though they were never a part of the Nicea’s crew, they used to show up at most of the crew’s social events. Contrary to most dragon person stereotypes, they are quiet and unassuming—but that doesn’t stop them from being intensely competitive about anything they have skill with, even if they’re only competing against themself. When they came to Cady and Tristan’s pilot academy for warp training, they dethroned Tristan as the champion of bar billiards and quickly became her closest friend.
Declan Ruse
he/him, 40, human
position // de facto captain of the Nicea
system of origin // Antarac
mildly ruined break plans // participating in anti-terraforming protests and making an obligatory yearly visit to Cady’s immediate family. He actually really likes them until someone gets drunk and melancholy.
At first glance he seems like Cady’s polar opposite: grounded, laconic, and just as much a planetsider as a spaceman, if not more. But underneath that, they share the same punk philosophy that has helped Declan not wallow in his grief even as Cady’s absence became a permanent presence for him. More than anyone, he thinks of the Nicea’s crew as his family, not least because he has no blood family of his own. Still, he would do almost anything to bring Cady back, even if that means pushing himself and his crew to the breaking point.
Isabel Hendriss
she/her, 36, human, trans
position // registered captain of the Nicea, load specialist
system of origin // Gevorad
mildly ruined break plans // test running her potential music career through a contract at the local pub, succeeding, then figuring out how to break it to Spinder that she (and possibly Rodney too) are leaving the crew.
As her parents’ heinous divorce in Gevorad system drew to a close, she transferred into Spinder’s high school and found that he was the one person in her class who knew anything about Gevorad system and messy family politics. By the time he recruited her onto the Nicea, they’d been best friends (with benefits) for years. She’s good at solving other people’s problems, including how to pack way too many shipments into one cargo bay, and she likes being the captain without having any of the real responsibilities of leadership. Though she’s been called a less-chaotic Cady, she doesn’t have the same craving for space that he does, and she’s ready to stay planetside again for a while.
Rodney Hendriss
he/him, 33, human, trans
position // the Nicea’s computer system admin, Declan’s assistant
system of origin // Gevorad
mildly ruined break plans // two words: spa resort. And a break from Declan, though he only has himself to blame for being such an intensely devoted assistant. If he can convince Isabel to go too, a trip across the world to see their mother.
When his father decided to prove how trans-positive he’d become since the divorce, Rodney got a heavy-handed, non-optional “invitation” to become the new son in Hendriss & Son Co. He immediately asked Isabel to get him a contract on the Nicea, even if that meant he’d just be scrubbing starship toilets—which was more or less what happened until Cady disappeared six months later. Then his emotional lightning-rod qualities and his need to be needed (and to stay employed by someone other than his father) led him to become Declan’s support. [Note: there’s nothing romantic or sexual between Declan and Rodney. They’re just two emotionally entangled gays]
Spinder Callawel
he/him, 35, human
position // the Nicea’s mechanic
system of origin // Antarac
mildly ruined break plans // extended visits with his extensive family ft. Declan, breaking off his not-quite-friends-with-benefits arrangement with his ex-boyfriend, managing to tell Isabel how he feels about her.
By far the youngest of the five Callawel siblings, Spinder grew up in his second-youngest sister’s home with her kids, who were his actual age peers. When he was fifteen, he made a pact with Cady, his nephew, to become the mechanic on Cady’s future starship, and went straight into trade school after high school. But as much as he’s focused on getting Cady back, he’s more bothered by his suspicion that something is up with Isabel that she hasn’t mentioned to him. And his own inability to tell her he’s in love with her out of fear that they’ll be just as incompatible as romantic partners and housemates as him and his ex-boyfriend.
Tristan Scherie
she/her, 47, human
position // the Nicea’s pilot
system of origin // Antarac
mildly ruined break plans // staying in a mountain cabin with her cousins, hiking, swimming—the good shit you can only really do planetside.
After becoming Cady’s thrill-seeking partner-in-crime at the pilot academy, she was recruited onto the Nicea as a secondary pilot and extra pair of hands alongside Cady, Declan, and Spinder. She warp raced with Bo until a system malfunction almost led to a tunnel breach, and the threat of sudden, unavoidable loss to the void shook her to the point that she quit. When Nicea Shipping resumed operations without Cady, its home base moved to the outskirts of her hometown, which has made it easier for her to stay connected with her community and integrate her crew into it. Her community has always been her first priority, and she refuses to take any shit about that—or anything—from anyone.
Note
If you read this far you get a bonus: over on my character vibes blog (which is really just for me) I've been slowly building out a (sassy and horny) tag called things that Rodney would think to himself that Isabel would say out loud.
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ghoulsbian · 1 day
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i've been having a very hard time staying asleep at night lately. i've rather consistently been only getting two to four hours of rest a night. i go to sleep around 1:30-2:30am most nights lately and usually end up waking up around like 4:00-6am.
this is really bizarre for me. i have a pretty wack sleep schedule (i can go to bed from anywhere between 1am and 7am, sometimes at the end of either side of the spectrum, back to back). so, usually i sleep in until 12pm to 2pm. i take a few medications with sedative effects at night and they're supposed to help me get to sleep within a decent time after taking them. they don't always work too well because i'm supposed to take them with food but i frequently don't do that cuz i'm not very hungry at that point. (though, they do make the symptoms they're meant to treat a lot more manageable! so that's something.)
i fell asleep on the phone with my crush last night, haha. she was just sorta talking and singing and it was relaxing to me. it's almost her birthday! me and my family made plans to take her out the day after. i'm very excited! though very nervous. it's been a little bit since we've seen each other in person. i really hope she'll like my gifts i got for her. i got her a lava lamp (she's been saying bc how she wants one for so long now!!), a plushie of a character from a game she really likes, and an old authentic mint condition nirvana concert ticket (her fav band!!).
i've been venting to her about my sleep issues lately, and she's very worried. i'm not as worried i guess, i'm mostly just annoyed. lack of sleep really messes with my brain. it is a very big trigger for my psychosis to start acting up. i haven't really been hallucinating but have been a bit delusional and paranoid. ultimately, i am coping on the account of my medication, but it's still sort of hard to deal with. dissociation has also been a struggle this last week or so.
i just hope i can get consistently good sleep soon!!! i don't really know what's going on to make it so difficult for me lately. perhaps it's how dry my room gets? my room is really small and there's also a radiator in here so it can get pretty hot and dry. to combat this, i typically leave my window open. i've started putting a window fan in there too to get more airflow. i also have a box fan going at the end of my bed lol.
i don't really know what to do to make myself sleep better :( i tried taking a nap after only sleeping three hours the other night and i couldn't manage to fall asleep for hours. it also made me super super shaky afterwards which was kind of concerning to me lol. i kind of wonder if it was because i ate some quite stale cereal (cocoa pebbles) previous to this. though i am not sure if such a thing would cause an affect like that.
anyways i'm gonna try and get back to sleep in a minute or two here. thanks for listening to my ramble! i just wanted a place to get out my thoughts and maybe some updates on my life. i have a desire to create content for this account but am really lacking in energy and motivation due to what i've explained here. hope everyone understands!
much love to all! ♥️💫
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letstrywritingmaybe · 3 months
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I’m so fucking tired, the switch to being a morning person is wild. I’ve never been that girlie and I never thought I could be but I’m loving my new job so far. Literally couldn’t be happier, I’m sure as it goes I’ll find things I may not enjoy but so far it’s been amazing. But again this was my first week and I don’t know shit yet. Enough about that, writing wise I’m so sorry I’m super behind. I’m still determined to keep weekly updates for the sibling verse, (delaying posting cause I’m supporting Palestine.) But I want to do multiple updates and at the very least give Vordark my beloved the weekly updates. But I’m too tired to try and write right now, so it’ll have to wait till tomorrow or maybe even Sunday. I’ve been working like nonstop the past three weeks and I don’t even have my Pens to keep me energized. Don’t even get me started on irl relationships with people, I’m still upset. But yeah I’m hoping to be on it soon
Update: dreaming up yet another shinshi verse I can’t write cause I have too many WIPs and I just can’t. But I’m hoping to start the next chapter of the sibling verse before I have to actually get up and ready!
Update 2: I started the next chapter of the sibling verse but had to do some errands and now I’m tired again. I’m gonna nap then watch the mean girls movie then hopefully finish the chapter. We shall see (I did finish the chapter!). Alright, I should have the full day today besides football and airport run way late. So I’m hoping to pick back up on the valentines event, then midnight rain, then the pov series that’s taken me too damn long already to start *sigh but also I would like to read one of my book books too. I’m feeling so behind in everything, and while it’s cause I’ve been so busy. I just wish I could be more on top of things, but I’m only human and it’s been very exhausting existing lately. Most of it is still very filling and I really do truly love my new job but there’s so much I have to learn!
Update 3: irl continues to be a lot. I did not get to go about my day off the way I wanted. It ended up being way stressful, but on the bright side I booked another trip cause of course I did. Okay now I’m gonna try and write. The curse of my main character energy continues, please just let me live my filler episode dreams!!! 😭😭😭
I’m halfway through with the valentine event I think, and idk why I’m exhausted. But I guess I’ve had a long week and today was a lot also. I’m gonna take a nap before I have to go to the airport and pick someone up. Idk if I’ll get more writing done after, and any tomorrow but I will try. At the very least, I’m going to update either the sibling verse or midnights. I believe I’m caught up on comments now, I love when I get to read fics! But now it’s time for bed cause unfortunately I need to be a morning person. One more day off but it’s going to be very busy with rl stuff again *sigh hoping I get some writing done but I’m not holding my breath. Now excuse me while I continue to dream about this fic I have no intention of writing, it’s another memory loss one cause of course it is
Update 4: I’m about to go to sleep cause I need to be a morning person (yes I’m going to keep talking about this until it actually happens) but I think I’m done with the valentines event! Super short chapters so it wasn’t that hard to do, but I’m just glad I got it done! Now I can go back to working on my projects I wanna do once I get used to my schedule. Also I ended up updating the sibling verse instead of midnights cause of my time stamp thing, but I will try again tomorrow
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